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florencemtrash · 9 months ago

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The Shadowsinger & The Inkbird: Chapter Fifteen

Azriel x Day Court Librarian Reader

Summary: Y/n's clairvoyance is a gift from the Mother, but it feels more like a curse. With the power to gain knowledge through touch alone, Y/n holes herself up in The Alcove and hopes her powers and parentage will remain a secret. But things will change after the Summer Solstice ball and a chance encounter with a certain Shadowsinger.

Warnings: ANGST... that's about the only major warning I can think of

The Shadowsinger & The Inkbird: Masterlist

Masterlist of Masterlists

Jurian and Vassa took the attic and became scarce, but when night and day slid into one another you still heard her painful screams, muffled as they were by the magic that encased their room. It was a feeling more than anything else. A tension that gripped the House until it seemed to be sobbing. At sunrise and sunset without fail, Vassa’s body broke and rearranged itself, flesh turning to feathers and feathers to flesh. Before it had been a painless process where her body came and went in its various forms, but no longer. Now she felt everything alongside an itch deep within her bones that couldn’t be satiated by food or drink or anything else.

Go to the lake! Her body screamed. Go to Koschei! And then punished her when she didn’t comply. Like a beast had sunk its claws into her flesh, its waiting mouth only inches away from snapping. To stay away was a slow, agonizing march to death. To move close would be swift, but final, and somehow Vassa knew that if she gave into Koschei’s call, she would be lost forever.

You lingered at the base of the attic's staircase, your bare feet sinking into the soft rug until the sounds of cracking bones finally ceased. Three pairs of feet shuffled above your head and you heard Jurian’s faint whispers like a gentle push of air. When the door opened and Lucien emerged, you saw Vassa crumpled on the floor, now a bone-thin woman with dull, coppery hair and skin ravaged by scratches and pockmarks.

“Shhhh. It’s ok.” Jurian whispered, encasing her in his arms.

“I can’t,” her voice trembled. “It hurts. I-I-I’m burning.”

“Y/n?” Lucien frowned. The door slammed shut with a bang and you jumped backwards. You clutched a velvet pouch close to your chest and then slowly held it out to Lucien.

“It’s for Vassa,” you explained, trying to keep your eyes on his mismatched ones — one russet as river stones, one gold like the sun. He opened the bag and stared in confusion at the fine, white powder within, giving it a tentative sniff. “Morphine. Humans use it for pain.”

“I know of it.” Lucien’s frown deepened. “They get addicted. Take too much and they die.”

“She’s already addicted. That’s what’s happening isn’t it? Koschei’s drawing his power away to get her to return to the lake and every day that passes she’s dying.” Lucien tightened his fists around the bag, still skeptical. Vassa had endured enough. He didn’t want to have her endure this either. “The bag is enchanted and will never allow her to draw too much. Just enough to calm her hunger. If we’re lucky it might help her sleep too.”

Lucien stood there, clenching and unclenching his fists from around the gold drawstring, waiting for Vassa’s cries to cease. But they never did. And there you were standing in front of him, unwavering and expectant. There was a glimmer of stubbornness in your gaze. A sign of the hours you’d spent researching Vassa’s condition and acquiring the strange human drug, and your disapproval if Lucien didn’t accept it.

“Thank you, Y/n,” he whispered, “But please go. Vassa hates for anyone to see her like this. Even Jurian and I.”

You swallowed thickly and nodded, disappearing down the stairs as quickly as you could. The next morning when the sun rose over the mountains and Vassa changed, you heard only the House’s usual breathings.

The House buckled under the weight of the Inner Circle’s secrets and the sheer volume of history that had occurred within its walls and between its occupants. It utilized its magic in clever ways — your door opened with a creak that wasn’t there before so that Azriel would always hear your comings and goings. Lucien would suddenly find his door locked and the curtains drawn on the days when Helion made surprise visits to see Y/n. Nyx would find himself ushered around by a broomstick that swatted his ankles when the adults were discussing private matters. It was all a great deal of work.

So it was a relief when Rhys and Feyre quietly moved their children to the House of Wind with Nesta and Cassian, and when Mor and Emerie took the final steps in emptying their rooms and went to hide out in their city apartment. It was even more of a relief when Helion returned to the Day Court, but not before throwing a heavy threat in Azriel’s face that if he should ever hurt his daughter again in any way, shape, or form, he’d strip the wings off his back.

Meals at the House were tense, quiet affairs, something not even Feyre, Elain, and Nesta’s sisterly conversations or Cassian’s light-hearted humor could ease. Elain stayed close to Lucien’s side, one hand always on his arm or resting against his back or brushing against his, but that didn’t erase what the Blood Duel had done to his trust in Elain. He was kind, but guarded, especially when Azriel was in the room. But it was more than she could ask for because it was more than she’d ever given him in the beginning.

You and Azriel were worse off.

You were speaking once more, but your words were always laced with a bit of apprehension and Azriel’s were always filled with sorrowful hope. Conversations were dull, short, and didn’t even begin to brush the surface of all the things you should have been talking about. You were terrified not of the Shadowsinger, but of his opinion of you. Did he want you so he could fix you? So that he could feel needed? So that you could be another one in a list of females he burned through?

It never truly seemed like that was the case, but you also didn’t trust yourself when it came to your emotions. You had told him once that you couldn’t imagine having a love like Feyre and Rhysand’s, or Nesta and Cassian’s, and you still meant it. You were a matchstick and he was flint, and you didn’t know what would happen to you after he had lit you aflame. For all you knew, you were already burning and this wonderful thing you’d had with Azriel would live and die with nothing more than the memory of an embrace in Rhysand’s office to show for it.

But oh how you ached to touch him again. To hold him like you had before and to have him return the gesture just as strongly.

You stiffened when Azriel’s hand brushed your arm, warmth bursting out from the point of contact.

“I’m sorry.” Azriel whispered, and he was talking about more than the wine he spilled when he reached over the table.

You spared him a glance, the first real look you’d given him in two weeks. The flagon slipped from his hands, and if it weren’t for his shadows catching it an inch above the floor, the room would have been doused in burgundy red.

“Does Lucien know?”

Rhysand looked up from his papers. Missives from the Darkbringer army and Illyrian troops up north clogged his desk, all begrudgingly accepting his orders to prepare for what could amount to another lengthy war. Letters thrown back and forth between the seven courts added to the chaos, all of them war-weary and desperate for a path that wouldn’t lead to bloodshed.

You took up the center of his room and stood so quietly he hadn’t even noticed you until you spoke. It had been eating away at you for days since Lucien’s arrival. Every time you two saw one another or spoke, you tried to scrounge for clues that would reveal whether he knew he was Helion’s son and whether he might suspect you were Helion’s daughter as well. The other members of the Inner Circle had been tight-lipped about that secret, a skill you now knew they all possessed with alarming dexterity.

“Does Lucien know he’s Helion’s son?”

Rhysand slumped back in his chair, rubbing his temples with one careful hand. Finally he said, “Yes.”

The answer knocked the breath from your lungs. You’d been expecting the opposite. “Does he… does he know about me?”

Rhys sighed and shook his head. You didn’t know whether to be disappointed or relieved.

“How long has he known?”

“Six years. Feyre was the one to tell him. She was actually the first of us to recognize the similarity, believe it or not. But then, no one ever dared to give weight to the rumors surrounding Helion and Aurelia Vanserra while Beron was alive.”

You rocked back and forth on your feet, breath shaking as it entered your body. “Six years. Six years and you never thought to tell Helion that he has a son? I thought you two were friends?”

Rhysand tensed. “I’m Lucien’s friend as well and he begged us to never speak of it - to live as though we’d never learned that secret. And I keep my secrets. We all do.”

“You and your family have made that very clear in the time that I’ve been here.”

“If you mean Azriel—”

“Don’t play dumb, Rhys, you know I’m talking about him.” Tears pricked at your eyes, adding to the humiliation that had coated you like a film ever since you’d seen his memories about Mor, Elain, and Gwyn. “I don’t—” You swallowed thickly, “I can imagine how you must have all been whispering behind my back about Azriel and I. How you must have found it so pathetic the way he charmed me when I was really his fourth choice.”

“That’s not true.” Was what Rhysand was going to say. But he didn’t need to. Azriel said it for him.

Your face lost all color, any bravado melting away at the feeling of Azriel’s shadows wrapping around your ankles like ribbons of silk. You could feel him in the room and that quiet darkness he carried around with him as inherently as if it were stitched onto his body.

Azriel was shaking. Shaking. With anger, turmoil, or grief — you couldn’t name it. All you knew is that one moment you were standing in Rhysand’s office, all velvet upholstery and suave, expensive taste, and the next you were in Azriel’s room.

Everything smelled like mountain air. Maybe it was the gothic windows that stretched into the vaulted ceilings, stained glass opening out onto a personal balcony with deep blue curtains fluttering in the breeze. But you were sure that even with the windows barred it would smell the same. It would smell like Azriel. If you threw open his wardrobe you’d come face to face with a wall of black. Lots and lots of black. Black suits he hardly ever wore. Black fighting leathers. Black leather jackets for everyday. Black trousers. Black boots on the floor. Very practical. Very Azriel.

If you dug through his dresser drawers you’d find black boxers and socks to match and no shortage of knives and daggers hidden behind wooden planks or in leather sleeves nailed to the bottom of his desk. But at first glance you only saw three weapons in plain view — Truth Teller, blade down and stuck in the wood grain of his desk beside a pile of reports, and two obsidian blades hanging from the wall beside his midnight blue bed in the shape of an “x.”

The smell — Azriel’s smell — calmed you, at least up to the point where you turned to find him standing less than six inches away, hazel eyes boring into yours. Then your pulse skyrocketed. You were certain that if he only looked down to your heart he’d see it pounding against your chest like a drum skin ready to burst.

“That’s not true,” he repeated earnestly. “And don’t you dare believe it. Not even for a second.”

His eyes jumped back and forth between yours and before he could stop himself, his hands were grasping yours in a gentle hold. The leather gloves were soft and supple beneath your fingertips. You wanted to rip them off so you could feel his scarred hands again.

“You weren’t meant to hear that,” you whispered, suddenly feeling small. That angry humiliation went up in a puff of smoke and left you shy and uncertain.

Azriel gripped your hands a little tighter and you watched as tendrils of shadow worked their way up your arms and got lost in your hair. “But I did,” he said breathlessly, “And I need you to know that it’s not true.”

“Azriel—”

“I know—” he was shaking his head, “I know what Helion said and I won’t lie and tell you that I’m perfect or that I’ve made any smart decisions about love in the past — I’ve not make a single one — but… but Y/n you’re not a fourth choice. You’re not something broken that I’m trying to fix or some fantasy I’ve fallen for.”

His hands shook and despite the gloves his hands still felt sticky and wet. Slick with your blood. The burning scent of iron in his nose.

“You’re the most real thing in the world to me. You’re—” You’re my mate. The words crawled up his throat like acid and it just felt wrong. He would say those words to you. He would. But not now. Not like this. He came up with something else. “Y/n, please tell me you believe me. Please.”

And there you were. Falling all over again. Burning like a matchstick on fire. The flames slowly eating away at you bit by bit. You wondered what would happen when you finally hit the ground, or when you ran out of length. Would he still hold you like this? Would you still feel real to him?

“How am I meant to know, Azriel?”

You’d always been good at books. You knew the ways in which these stories worked where the themes and plot points had been preordained and written with the purpose of being tied up in a neat package by the final page. People were very different. They were unpredictable and chaotic and they could lie through the skin of their teeth and believe they were telling the truth. And that was the problem wasn’t it? Because you still believed every word that came out of Azriel’s mouth, and his hands still felt like they were keeping you tethered to this earth when sometimes your powers and the memories that came with them made you feel like a whisper on the wind. Weightless and at the mercy of something you couldn’t control.

“You can trust me. You can know for yourself.”

He pressed your hand against his cheek and you wanted to cry at the faint pricks of stubble beneath your skin and the sharp curve of his jaw.

He wanted you to use your power on him. He wanted you to learn all the ways he wanted you. All the ways he loved you.

But you couldn’t do it.

Azriel panicked when you remained silent, staring at him and at his hands like you were frightened. All at once he was back on the streets of Velaris, cobblestones shaving away at the skin of his palms as he dragged his way up to you inch by bloody inch, fighting against a body that was too broken to move.

He couldn’t remember what it felt like when he’d stabbed you through the chest and dropped you on the street. Everything between the moment he saw Andrian’s clear-cut eyes to the moment he saw Rhysand’s horrified gaze was fuzzy and dark. But that made it worse because now in his nightmares he could imagine all the ways he’d hurt you, each version teeming with the same level of horror and possibility as the previous one.

He let you go and hated himself when you stepped back, your hand slipping away.

“I won’t… I won’t hurt you again, Y/n. I swear on my life. I’ll-I’ll make a bargain, I don’t care. I would sooner die than let something like that happen again.”

I don’t know what I’d do with that kind of love. If I’d be able to handle it. It might be too much for me.

“Y/n, please.”

I am not broken. But I am afraid.

You fled from his bedroom.

The air had a bite to it now with winter descending. The snow line on the mountains dipped lower and lower each day, creeping like ivy down a brick wall.

Elain never wore gloves. Not when she was gardening. It was something she and Ione had in common. She liked the feeling of her strong hands, the callouses on her palms and fingers that she’d earned all on her own. She grunted, slamming her shovel into the soil and feeling the microscopic chips of ice give way when she kicked down on the blade. It was too late in the season to be planting tulip bulbs. If she’d been in Velaris she would have done this four weeks ago. But it was alright with her. She knew the value of hard work, and she had enough hope for the future to believe that even though she was late, she’d have something beautiful to call hers come springtime.

“It’s time for that conversation I was telling you about,” she said cryptically, as was her way.

Lucien dropped the final basket beside where Elain now knelt in the dirt, her pale pink dress dirtied and littered with her own handprints. The brown bulbs rolled around like oversized chestnuts, the kind that he’d be roasting over a fire right now if he were still in Autumn Court. Instead he was here, lingering in a Court that had never felt like home. Then again… he’d never felt at home in Autumn, Spring, or the Human Lands either.

He straightened up and wiped his hands clean on his trousers, golden and russet eyes trailing over the River House’s grounds for this mysterious person he was meant to speak to.

There.

The faint swishing of black robes behind a dark green topiary tree. He should have known Elain had been talking about you.

You cracked your knuckles and rehearsed the words you’d scribbled out earlier that day and then set to fire in a maddening loop. You’d been restless with the truth of Lucien’s parentage and you couldn’t believe that the others had held their tongues so readily. As it was, without Azriel’s company to help quiet your mind, you’d dug into this new piece of information like a starving animal and couldn’t let go.

Was this a good time to tell him? Would there ever be a good time to tell him? You had no idea.

Somewhere in the attic, you knew Vassa was itching to take to the skies like the burning comet she was. Every night she shivered in Jurian’s arms, the morphine barely able to take the edge off the humming in her bones, and every morning she let him lock her away in her cage. It was getting worse and worse trying to keep her from succumbing to Koschei’s influence. Even now you thought you could hear her keen cries whistling from the attic like ten thousand arrows launched into the air.

Somewhere else, in a secret, hidden place you knew nothing about, Andrian had finally been imprisoned. Andrian with his bent neck and silver, candy-floss hair and bloody little hands.

You shivered and jumped back five feet when Lucien called your name, kind eyes narrowed in concern. His shirt was loose and open and the sweat on his body rose like mist off his skin. He was his mother’s son first, Helion’s child second, and fire still ran through his veins. The chill did not touch him.

He tipped his head to the side, red hair spilling out from the messy way he’d tied it up and away from his face. A brutal scar ran through his eye like a fissure, starting at the center of his brow before clawing its way down his jaw like a lightning strike frozen in time. But for all the cruelty he’d been dealt with in life, his eyes were gentle, even the mechanical one that whirred and flashed in the sun.

They were even kinder when he looked at you. You with your inquisitive gaze and curious nature, like a stray cat that couldn’t help but linger too long at doorways. One foot inside, one foot ready to run and hide. He’d caught you watching him at dinners, and he’d catch himself staring when you walked around the house with a book in your hand, so utterly absorbed that you would bump against doorways and bang your hips against sharp corners.

“Elain told me about you. Did you know that?”

You blinked in surprise. “What did she say?”

“Elain… Elain doesn’t always speak clearly. Much of what comes out of her mouth can feel eerie or discomforting. But, she told me before we left for the Night Court that I would be happy I came. That I would never regret the things I learned on my trip.” He tilted his head even further, looking more and more like a fox with each turn of his face. “And she mentioned a bird. A bird with ink-tipped wings and eyes like a crow.”

You flexed your fingers, well aware that the tips were smudged with ink, the nails bitten down to the quick.

“Someone clever and cautious who’d been hidden away their whole life and needed to see the sun.”

You felt stripped bare. That strange vulnerability that comes with being summed up in so few words had you feeling airy. Like one sentence could be enough to carry the weight of the three centuries you’d lived and never buckle.

“I know you’re Helion’s son. I recognized it the moment I saw you.”

Lucien stepped back, scarlet brows shooting up into his hair with alarm.

You hesitated, then continued on cautiously. “I recognized it because I would know my father’s face anywhere.”

<- Previous Chapter Next Chapter ->

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Author's Note:

I KNOW IT'S A CLIFFHANGER ENDING BUT I NEEDED TO BREAK EVERYTHING INTO CHAPTERS SOMEWHERE AND I'M GOING TO TRY AND GET CHAPTER 16 UP BY WEDNESDAY SO I DON'T LEAVE Y'ALL HANGING FOR TOO LONG. HAVE MERCY!!!

The good news is that Chapter 16 is already mostly written, I just need to edit it all to make sure things flow smoothly. Also, LUCIEN KNOWS NOW AHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sorry for the Azriel angst... but it's delicious, no?

#the shadowsinger and the inkbird #azriel x reader #azriel x reader slowburn #azriel x reader angst #azriel x you #azriel x y/n #I know the fandom has a toxic shipping culture around Elain/Lucien/Azriel in particular #leave me alone all right #I am going to write the couplings as makes sense because this is a READER X AZRIEL FIC #but also i don't stand for a lot of the Elain slander #smells of sexism to me sorry not sorry just let the girl be #obviously she's not perfect but she doesn't deserve the absurd amount of hate she gets #thanks for coming to my ted talk

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clockwayswrites · 1 year ago

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Both Ways at Once Part 1

wc 868, Masterpost

“You’ve read the dossier?”

The clipped words were in time with their quick steps down the pristine white hall.

“Yes.”

“All of it?”

Danny resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Unlike you, Hellblazer, I read my contracts before I sign them.”

“You wound me, Pomp,” John said, twirling an unlit cigarette between his fingers. “I’m just trying to protect you from the Big Bad Bat. He’s had a bit of a mare over this case. Hell, as a consultant, you shouldn’t even be seeing this with the access level things are at, but…”

“But you’re stuck and need my pretty baby blues on things to help you out,” Danny said, batting his lashes obnoxiously at John.

“Fuck off,” John said without any heat and shoved Danny away. “But the Bat is anxious about it. All the Bats are. If you can help us solve it sooner, then the better, because when the Bats are on edge, everyone is on edge. And it’s a fucking nightmare around here already with all the bloody do-gooders let alone when they’re all worked up about something…”

“Everyone’s on edge, got it.”

“Nightingale,” John said, voice unusually serious— serious enough to make Danny stop even without the hand on his arm. “I’m not saying this lightly. I like you, like you well enough for a psychopomp and whatever the fuck else you are at least. Tread lightly.”

“Got it, Constantine. I’ll work extra hard not to piss anyone off,” Danny said, patting John’s hand with his own tattooed one. Danny picked back up his same quick pace, but his mind now spun trying to figure out what exactly he was walking into. The dossier hadn’t gone into details, just conditions. Supposedly the risk— some side effect created by a villainous magical spell gone wrong— was presently and thoroughly contained. Danny would be able to observe the risk, the individual originally affected, and the items present at the time. He was not to interact directly with the risk, answer it’s questions, or under any circumstance touch it.

It read as a pretty standard contract magical unknown.

John wouldn’t be this concerned by a standard magical unknown. So what was he about to walk into? It seemed like he might actually want to listen to John this time, even if that was always a fifty-fifty chance of being an absurdly stupid idea.

Danny shifted his grip anxiously on the handle of his kit: an old traveling salesman’s briefcase fitted out with a careful collection of haphazard items. Most of the other occult practitioners mocked Danny’s tendency for used items. Half burned candles, old books wiped and rewritten, estate sale candy dishes— odd choices for most people, but for Danny they sang. They spilled the secrets of the world known and unknown to him. He had to trust that between his tools and his skills (let them believe he was a mere psychopomp), he would come out of this at least safe, if not with answers.

Didn’t mean that a few of his tattoos didn’t crawl in warning.

(Who knew what spot of skin that damn ink moth would wander to now.)

“Justice Leaguers,” Danny greeted with a nod as they finally finished winding through repetitive hallways and stopped outside a room.

“Nightingale, thank you for being able to attend to this so promptly,” Wonder Woman greeted him. Of the Justice League members (outside of the Darks) that Danny had interacted with on other consulting gigs she might be Danny’s favorite, so he offered her a smile.

“Of course, it sounded like things were possibly on a time table from the contract, so I’m glad I was between pressing matters,” Danny said. Right then his most pressing matter was a need to find a laundry mat, but the Justice League certainly didn’t need to know that.

“Right, well,” John jumped in when no one else said anything, not that Danny had expected much from Batman with how he was lurking like a shadow. “Er, this way.”

Danny glanced at the room label of ‘containment cells’ as the door unlocked with a clank and hissed open. After John’s warning, he wasn’t surprised that they were taking whatever this was seriously.

There was more white and gleaming metal behind the door. A neat row of spartan cells were set behind thick acrylic glass and metal. Danny’s eyes locked on the figure in the third cell. He stumbled.

He might be sick.

“What the fuck are you all doing?!” The words ripped from Danny in a snarl.

That was a protector spirit.

He brushed past Wonder Woman and through John’s reaching arm.

They had a protector spirit in a cell.

Intangibility washed over Danny, cold as always, as he stepped through the glass wall of the cell.

The spirit stopped in their pacing, the opaque red helmet tilting.

John screamed something at him.

The flashing red of alarms glinted off gleaming surfaces.

Danny reached out and rested his hand over the spirit’s sternum, and they practically crumpled around the touch. Gloved hands clung desperately to Danny’s arm.

A low growl rumbled in Danny’s chest. “They’re hurting you.”

They had a protector spirit in a cell.

How dare they.

----

AN: So, um, yeah. Still sick. Not a cold or allergies at all and not easy to clear up and prob a new life long thing. Which is great. Super cool. I needed more ways to be sick.

But have the start of this thing that I used to take my mind off things! My, what could be going on?? (Also why do I apparently have a tattooed Danny agenda?)

Stay delightful (and well), darlings!

I no longer tag people for various reasons. You can instead be notified by subscribing to the masterpost!

#dp x dc #dead on main #both ways at once

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munsonluhvr · 10 months ago

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HOW TO FAKE IT (MINI SERIES) (PART 1)

contents: steve harrington x reader. best friends/fake dating to lovers. sfw! In an attempt to cover up a lie and make his ex-gf jealous, Steve enlists you, his best friend, to fake date him // slowwww burn. word count - 3.7k

notes: welcome to 1/4 of 'how to fake it,' my first mini series for Steve Harrington. I hope you enjoy; part 2 coming soon!

installments: part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

“Steve, as much as I care for you, I can’t take this anymore,” you say, leaning on the counter of Scoops Ahoy. “You have to stop; It’s been months and she’s not changing her mind.”

Steve sighs, shaking his head. His scoops ahoy hat slips down on his head, nearly falling off. “Don’t say that, yes she will. I’m Steve Harrington, she has to take me back.”

For the hundredth time, you were listening to your best friend Steve complain about his ex-girlfriend Tina – who broke up with him several months ago, and despite Steve’s beliefs, was not taking him back any time soon. Although Steve was torn up about the breakup, you were relieved for him. Tina was a bitch, and you knew Steve could do a lot better.

“There’s a million girls in Hawkins, you can find somebody else.” You hum, starting to roll your eyes at Steve’s demeanor. “It’s not healthy to be dwelling on someone who obviously doesn’t care about you.”

Steve fumbles with an ice cream scoop, sighing as he fiddles with the utensil. “She’s going to come back, just wait.”

Behind you, the door bell jingles, signaling that a customer is entering the ice cream shop. Steve’s head jerks up: “Welcome to Scoops-“ Steve says, his voice trailing off towards the end of his mandatory phrase. You watch as Steve’s face drops, his mouth gaping at the sight behind you. You turn around, seeing exactly what Steve was looking at.

As if she had been in the room seconds earlier, waiting for Steve to say the magic words that she’d come back, Tina, and a male dressed in a Hawkins sports team jacket, walk through the ice cream shops door. When Tina realizes it’s you and Steve at the counter, you can tell she wants to turn on her heel and walk out. You can’t help but roll your eyes and shake your head.

“Oh,” Tina says, her eyes catching yours briefly. “I didn’t think you’d still be working here.”

You lean back against the counter, crossing your arms over your chest. Tina always hated you due to the way you and Steve were so close. You and Steve had inside jokes and regularly scheduled hang outs; all of which Tina despised. To Tina, you were a constant competition.

“It’s my job, Tina, why would I have quit?” Steve says, flushing at the sight of his ex-girlfriend.

Tina shrugs, tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder. Even from a few feet away you can smell her sickeningly sweet perfume. “I don’t know, it’s just what I figured,” Tina hums, clasping her hands in front of her. The boy next to her, someone you didn’t recognize, stood next to Tina silently.

Steve, ignoring the fact that Tina had a male with her, was upfront. “I’ve called you a bunch of times and you’ve never called back.”

You let your eyes close out of discomfirt and awkwardness. You can’t bear to watch your best friend gravel with the devil.

“Yeah, I know Steve. We broke up, there’s not much else to say. I mean I’ve moved on already.” Tina says, gesturing towards the boy next to her. The boy had no facial expression whatsoever, his eyes trained on the rows of ice cream, standing there as if he was a rock. “You’re not seeing anyone?”

Steve shifts behind you on the other side of the counter, obviously thinking of some excuse. “No, I am.” You frown, looking over your shoulder at Steve. You give him a look, wondering how he was going to maneuver out of this conversation.

“Who?” Tina asks. “Do I know her?”

Steve shrugs, trying to avoid naming an imaginary girl. “Can I get you anything? We have a bunch of new flavors this week.”

Tina sniffs and shakes her head, obviously unsatisfied at the lack of answer Steve gives her. You’re sure she’s going to go home and phone her friends to see if Steve is dating one of her perky, blonde friends. Even though she's trying to be nonchalant, you have no doubt Tina brought her new boyfriend to Scoops Ahoy, knowing that Steve would be working - just to make him jealous. “Chrissy Cunningham and Jason Carver are having a party at Jason’s house tomorrow; you should bring your girlfriend. I’d love to meet her.” Tina says with a painfully fake smile. “I’m glad we’ve both moved on.”

Steve smiles, standing up straighter. “We’ll be there.” With a single nod, Tina turns on her heel and walks out of the store. Once Tina is out of the store, you turn sharply towards Steve. “What the hell was that?”

Steve covers his face with his hands, bending across the counter to lean on the platform. “I know, I know, I screwed up. I didn’t know what to say.”

“Well, good luck with that. Getting a girlfriend by tomorrow should be interesting.”

Steve groans, “I’m so screwed.”

You lean back on your bed, a book resting on the top of your thighs. You're dressed in your favorite pajama set, fuzzy socks adorning your feet. After you visited Steve, his lack of a girlfriend unresolved, you headed home, nestling into your bed early. Throughout the rest of the evening, your mind circled back to the Steve and Tina situation, each time you thought about it you couldn’t help but laugh to yourself.

You are engrossed in your book, about to flip a page, when you hear a soft knock on your window. You pause, thinking it could be the wind and choose to ignore the sound. The knock happens a second time and you get up from your bed, moving to look out your window. You hold back a scream when you see Steve on the other side, sitting on your roof.

“Steve,” you say, lifting up the window. “It’s like you want my parents to catch you and ground me for sneaking you into my room.”

Steve maneuvers into your room through the open window. “Your parents love me, they wouldn’t mind.”

You scoff, lowering your voice. “If they love you then why didn’t you use the front door?”

Steve waves his hand, sitting on the edge of your bed. “Let’s not focus on that, let’s focus on why I’m here.”

You sit on the chair that’s tucked into your desk, sitting across from Steve. “Go on.”

“So I was thinking - I want you to be my fake girlfriend.” Steve says, glancing at you. “You’re the person who knows me best and we get along great; you’d play a perfect girlfriend.”

“Are you crazy?” You look at Steve as if he has ten heads, shaking your head. “No, I won’t.”

“Why not? It would totally piss off Tina, no offense but she hates you. It can just be for tomorrow and then we can break up.”

You scoff again, looking away at the other side of your room. “I don’t want to be known as one of the notches in your belt. Plus, that’s just weird, everyone knows we’re best friends.”

Steve pouts, wringing his hands together. “Y/n, please. Just for tomorrow, I need Tina to be jealous and see what she’s missing out on.”

You surprise yourself when you catch yourself considering Steve's proposition. It's insane to fake date Steve; you're sure nobody would believe it but Steve looks so pathetic sitting at the edge of the bed, his big, brown eyes wide with hope that you'll agree. Steve is your best friend, and you truly would do anything to help him, potentially even fake date him for an evening. Steve has always been there for you, taking you to go see 'girly' movies, sneaking you your favorite flavor of ice cream after he finishes work at Scoops Ahoy. What will everyone think? What will everyone say? You push the unanswerable questions out of your mind, sighing as you realize what you’re about to say.

“Fine, I’ll do it.”

“If we leave now we could probably make the last viewing at Hawkins Theater,” you say while glancing out Steve’s passenger window, Jason Carver’s home staring back at you. You sit in his car, your trendiest dress on with converse sneakers – and Steve’s old varsity basketball jacket on (a prop in which he insisted on you wearing to make your relationship believable). The jacket dwarfs your body, the sleeves are entirely too big for your arms; and it smells of mothballs, signaling that Steve had pulled the article of clothing out just for this occasion.

“We’ll just stay for a little while, until Tina notices us.” Steve says, pushing his sunglasses onto his face even though it’s 9 o’clock and dark out. From previous experience, staying ‘a little while’ at a party meant staying until it was over, and people were heading home.

Steve pops his driver’s door open, coming around the front of the car to open the passenger door. “Ready to do this?” Steve asks, slinging his arm over your shoulder. He brings you in close to his body, his grip tight on you. You can feel his nervousness through his touch.

You weren’t entirely sure if you were ready, you hadn’t even fully processed the arrangement you and Steve had come up with. After you agreed to fake dating Steve, you both shook on the fact that the arrangement wouldn’t last longer then tonight. You never dated before, Steve dated enough for the both of you, and you weren’t sure how to act as a girlfriend. You decided to take cues from the movies you watched, picking up pointers from the characters.

You are also, of course, nervous about how other’s would perceive you as Steve’s girlfriend. You are meek, your personality only coming out for Steve and your other friends, and you preferred to stay home and read rather than partying with Tina. Everyone knew you as Steve’s best friend but how would they receive you as Steve’s girlfriend?

“Ready,” you say despite your lack of confidence. Within a few strides you’re at Jason Carvers front door. Even from outside you can hear the chatter, music, and laughter that’s unfolding inside. Steve reaches out, grasping the doorknob. Before twisting it to unlatch the door, he hesitates beside you.

The door creaks open, revealing the cramped hallways and rooms of the Carver household. Dozens of people in chic 80s clothing flitter around the house, red solo cups in their hands. Off to your right is the living room, people standing against the wall in groups or sitting on the two sofa that faced each other. To your left is the dining room, a long table covered in bottles of alcohol and cheap party snacks. Straight ahead was the kitchen, a girl being encouraged to drink from the keg.

“Steve!” A voice calls from the crowd. Your eyes follow the sound, revealing Jason who pushes his way through the crowd. “So glad you made it, we can’t have a party without our king of the keg. And you brought y/n; of course, you did, you guys are a pair.” Though Jason’s eyes linger on Steve’s arm around your shoulders.

Steve laughs, looking off into the crowd, no doubt trying to spy Tina. “Y/n is actually my date to the party, she’s my girlfriend.”

Jason’s eyebrows raise as he rocks back onto his heels. “Wow; I wish I could say I’m surprised but I guess I always thought you guys would be good for each other.”

Now you frown, realizing Jason actually could see you and Steve as a couple. You wish you could tell Jason that he was wrong, that you and Steve would never date.

“Does Tina know?” Jason asks before Steve or you could answer.

“Now she does,” Steve says, nodding his head in the direction of the living room. Tina stood in the middle of the room; a red solo cup placed tightly within her grip. You could tell she was fuming. Jason recognized Tina’s distraught look and glances at you and Steve. “I should probably bring up another keg from the basement, enjoy the party.” Jason says, slipping away quickly.

Tina approaches you and Steve within a few steps, but she keeps her distance from where you both stand. “What do we have here?” Tina says, crossing her arms over her chest. A drop of beer sloshes over the rim of the cup. “Did I really just hear you tell Carver that you two are a couple; that y/n is your girlfriend?”

Steve didn’t say anything, and you offer a thin-lipped smile.

“Why didn’t you tell me yesterday that you two were dating?” Tina asks, as you watch her jaw clench. Steve shrugs, “you left before I could say anything.”

Tina’s eyes narrow, her eyes analyzing you and Steve intensely. “How long have you been together?”

At the same time, you say, “two months” and Steve says, “three months.” You both glance at each other. “Two and a half months, to be precise.” You say, offering another small smile.

Tina hums, continuing to investigate you and Steve. Beside you, Steve shifts uncomfortable, feeling yours and his charade start to crack. “Babe, do you want something to drink? Let’s go see what they have.” Steve says, glancing down at you. His arm drops from around your shoulder to your hand, letting his fingers interlace with yours. You feel your palms begin to moisten. You nod, letting Steve guide you away from Tina.

“Holy shit, Tina’s really pissed.” Steve says to you once your away from his ex. Steve weaves through the crowd, tugging you along with him. “Did you see her face when she saw us talking to Jason? I wish somebody had got a picture of her so I could frame it.”

Steve rambles and you hum trying to fill your half of the conversation. You, however, are too caught up in your thoughts, feeling the eyes of the party guests boring into your skin. All around you people turn to look over their shoulder, noticing how Steve guides you through the crowd lovingly, or the way his fingers caresses your back as he shepherds you around the party. When you got to the drink table, people watch as curious onlookers as Steve pours you a drink, swiping a piece of your hair that had fallen in your face. To the outside world, you’re sure it all looks so natural, so real.

You’re sure Steve notices it too. “Let’s sit,” Steve says, bending down to whisper to you. Again, he guides you through the party, steering you to the open seat on one of the couches. Steve sits down promptly, beside another couple that are in their own world, lips only millimeters from each other. You stand awkwardly at the end of the couch, feeling people watch you closely; there’s no place for you to sit.

“Sit on my lap,” Steve says through closed teeth, noticing your lack of fluidity. You hesitate, not knowing you feel about putting your bottom so close to Steve’s groin. You push out your uncomfortableness and gently, and gracefully, sit on Steve’s lap.

You face in one direction, maintaining a perfect view of the lip-locking couple, and you lean against Steve and the end of the couch. “This is weird,” you mutter, feeling your tenseness.

“Act natural,” Steve says, placing an arm around your waist. His fingertips grip your hip.

You loop an arm around his neck. “There’s nothing natural about this,” you say. From any angle, you know you look stiff and uncomfortable – certainly not like a girlfriend of ‘two and a half months.’

“Y/n, please?” Steve pleads, leaning back in the cushions of the couch, furthering pushing your bodies together. You sigh, mimicking all the other couples around the party. You nestle into Steve’s arms, remembering how you’d do anything for this girl-crazy best friend of yours.

Steve lets his hands wander down your thigh, the tips of his fingers tickling your bare skin. You feel your cheeks and neck flush with heat, the foreign feeling igniting something within you. You had never been touched by a boy before.

Again, your mind flashes back to the millions of scenes in movies that you’ve watched before where boyfriends and girlfriend interact with each other. You know they kiss, though you can’t bring yourself to kiss Steve, they hug and fondle each other. Physical touch seems to be the love language of choice in the movies you’ve seen.

In the corner of the living room, you see Tina standing with one of her friends, you’ve forgotten her same – Sophia or Sydney or something like that, looking in yours and Steve’s direction. You realize it’s game time.

With utmost confidence, you let your fingers wander into Steve’s luscious hair, your fingers interlacing between his brown locks. Steve looks in your direction, an eyebrow raised. “Tina’s looking,” you say, turning your nonchalant gaze into a gaze of affection. Your fingers comb Steve’s hair and you feel how soft and silky it is. You let your thumb brush across his temple, letting the tips of your fingers trace his cheekbones and then jawline. You don’t think about what you’re doing, it’s as if your fingers are in autopilot.

Without moving, Steve keeps his big brown eyes trained on you, his fingers gripping your thigh. You assume he’s playing his part nicely, making it seem as if this is what you and he do every night – caress each other’s skin and gaze into each other’s eyes, but little do you know, Steve’s mind is blank, his body in a trance under your touch.

Your fingers pause where they get to Steve’s lips, the pad of your thumb itches to brush across his plump bottom lip – you’ve always admired Steve’s lips, but you stop yourself; that’s just a bridge too far.

You lean back at last, looking back out at the rest of the party, away from Steve’s face. Steve exhales, learning he had been holding his breath the entire time. Steve realizes it’s his turn to play the game; as you lean against him, his arm unlatches from around you to allow his hand to travel freely to your neckline where he sweeps your hair away from neck. Leaning forward, Steve places a small kiss on your shoulder blade where his varsity jacket had slipped off your shoulders.

You glance back at Steve, a smile lingering on your lips. “This is crazy, Steve.”

“I know but it’s kind of fun; making Tina mad, I mean.” Steve says, his eyes flickering to where Tina stands with her friend.

You aren’t sure if you agree but you know you’re tired of thinking about your every move, knowing a crowd is watching you perform. “Can we leave yet?” you ask, expressing displeasure across your face.

Steve bounces his knees, making your jolt on his lap. Your hair falls back into place, covering the burning spot where Steve had just kissed. “Pretend to be having a good time, just for a little longer.”

You sigh, leaning back into Steve’s chest. You smell his cologne that clings to his clothes. You wish you could be in Steve’s room, laying out on his plush bed, his cassette player on and listening to him complain about girls or his coworker Robin.

You’re almost in the fetal position on Steve’s lap, his arms wrapped around your body tightly. Steve dips down to your ear, “Pretend I’m saying something funny and laugh.”

You put your week of theater summer camp that your mom sent you to when you were eight to good use and laugh softly, as feminine as possible. You glance up at him from your position. “You owe me big time, Steve Harrington.”

This time Steve laughs, but it’s genuine and not fake at all.

Eventually the party begins to die down and you convince Steve to take you home. For the last hour, you and Steve worked together to make this relationship believable, whispering into each other’s ears and letting Steve’s hand slide up and down your thigh. By the end of the night, your head aches.

“You were amazing,” Steve says, “You know, you should consider becoming an actress.” Steve puts his arm around your waist, pulling you into his side, as you walk out of the party.

“No, it’s just what I do for my best friend. I meant it when I said you owe me.”

Steve laughs, taking his sunglasses off. He swings them in a loop, by holding one of the arms of the glasses, before he places them on top of your head. You pull them down over your eyes. “How can I repay you, Miss Harrington?”

You scoff at the new nickname. “Pretty in Pink is at the theaters; you, me, bucket of popcorn, this weekend.”

Steve groans – he isn’t a fan of Molly Ringwald. “Fine,” Steve says.

You smile satisfied. You reach Steve car that’s parked right in front of the sidewalk. As Steve opens the passenger door, someone yelling his name causes you both to turn around. It’s Tina.

“Steve!” Tina yells across the Carver’s lawn. Beside you, Steve tenses. Jogging, Tina approaches you quickly.

“What’s up Tina?” Steve says.

Tina’s slightly out of breath, as she begins to speak. “This weekend Chrissy and I, our boys, and some friends were planning on going to Chrissy’s family cabin – She and I were talking, and we think you and y/n should join us – since you’re a couple and all.”

Steve shakes his head. “We have plans this weekend, we’re going to the movies.”

Tina rolls her eyes. “Hawkins theater will still be in town when we all get back, you can go next weekend. Really, Steve, I insist – we should be able to hang out around each other without it being weird or awkward.”

Steve sighs, glancing at you. You glance back at him, an unspoken agreeance unfolding between you. You have to keep the charade going for a few more days. “Okay,” Steve says, turning his glance to Tina and taking your hand into his. “We can’t wait.”

Tina clasps her hands, her eyes sending daggers your way. You have no idea what you’re in for. “Can’t wait,” you mumble, squeezing Steve’s hand as hard as you can.

#stranger things fanfiction #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington stranger things #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fan fiction #Steve Harrington x y/n #steve harrington #stranger things fic

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purifiedclitoris69 · 1 month ago

Text

The Truth

pt2 darkness and chaos

love spoiling you guys. i never really know what to put up here j like to yap lol. anyway enjoy ;)

angst with fluff and hurt/comfort

pairings: wanda maximoff x enhanced!reader

"I think I'd like some space for a little," you mumble turning away from her as you try so desperately to keep the tears from spilling.

"Okay," she agrees quietly walking towards the door, she pauses looking back as she's about to leave, "I'm sorry, y/n," she leaves.

It took about a week to heal from your injuries; your enhancements and Cho’s inventions helped immensely but the rest of your time in the medbay was cold.

The sterile white walls and beeping monitors were constant reminders that you were alone. It wasn’t just the physical pain—the ache in your abdomen that flared every time you moved—but the emptiness that settled deep in your chest, far more painful than the wound itself.

Days blurred into one another, filled with nothing but the low hum of medical equipment and the occasional visit from the team. Natasha came by when she could, sitting by your bed with gentle words of encouragement, trying to make you laugh. Sam would swing by too, cracking jokes that only barely lifted the suffocating weight you felt. Steve made a few appearances, his hand on your shoulder, telling you how strong you were, how you’d be back on your feet in no time.

But they couldn’t fill the void. Not really.

Because every time the door to the medbay opened, a part of you hoped it would be her. You waited for Wanda, every second stretching into an eternity, hoping that she’d come back and say she loved you.

Once you were healed and out the medbay , something in you shifted. It wasn’t immediate—more like a slow, creeping numbness that settled in over time. At first, it was just avoiding her, making sure you weren’t in the same room if you didn’t have to be. But the distance didn’t stop there. Soon, you found yourself pulling away from everyone, isolating more and more until you were just a shadow moving through the compound.

You stuck to a strict routine now: wake up early, hit the training room before anyone else is awake, then disappear into your quarters for hours on end, either preparing for missions or finding a way to distract yourself. Solo missions have become your escape, and you volunteer for every one, no matter how dangerous or tedious. Anything to get away from the compound. From her.

The team has noticed. Of course they have. Natasha has tried to get you to open up, but you always find a way to deflect. “Just focused,” you’d tell her, throwing on a smile that you know she doesn’t believe. Steve’s asked you to join in on a few team exercises, but you decline, claiming you need to work on personal skills. Even Tony has made a few snide remarks about you turning into a recluse, though there’s concern in his eyes.

The compound itself feels suffocating. The once comfortable space where you’d joke with the others, share meals, and decompress after missions has now become a maze of memories you’re trying to avoid. Everywhere you go, you feel Wanda’s presence—whether it’s the soft hum of her magic in the halls or just the weight of her lingering gaze when you pass each other in silence.

You keep your interactions with the team to the bare minimum. A nod here, a muttered response there. Nothing more than what’s necessary. It’s easier that way. Easier than facing the questions, the pity, the inevitable confrontation with Wanda that you know is coming but can’t bring yourself to endure.

The training room became your sanctuary. You pushed yourself harder and harder each day, punishing your body until it screams for rest. It’s the only thing that makes you feel anything—the burn of your muscles, the sting of exhaustion. It drowns out the ache in your chest, even if just for a little while.

You’ve been reckless, too. Clint’s called you out for taking unnecessary risks in the field, and even Steve’s noticed your tactics have become more desperate. You don’t care. The danger keeps your mind off her.

When you’re not on a mission or in the training room, you’re holed up in your room, avoiding any social gatherings. Movie nights, dinners, even simple conversations in the kitchen—they’ve all become a thing of the past. You can’t stand the thought of sitting there, pretending everything’s fine while Wanda’s just a few feet away, acting as though you’re not both suffocating in the same silence.

Wanda was desperate for things to go back to the way they were.

It’s a quiet afternoon in the compound, the sun casting soft light through the large windows as you make your way to the kitchen. You’ve been trying to avoid everyone—especially her—but it’s almost impossible to escape entirely when you live under the same roof. You tell yourself that grabbing a cup of coffee and heading back to your room won’t take more than a minute. You can slip in and out without a problem.

But, of course, she’s already there.

Wanda stands by the counter, absentmindedly stirring a mug of tea. The second you step into the kitchen, her eyes flick up, and you can see that familiar spark of warmth—of friendship, or whatever’s left of it—light up her face.

“Hey,” she says softly, her voice cautious but hopeful, like she’s testing the waters.

You force a neutral expression, giving her a small nod. “Hey.”

She smiles a little, and for a split second, it’s like nothing has changed. Like the last few months of distance and silence never happened. She moves over to the counter where the coffee maker is, just a few feet from where you stand, and her presence feels too close. Too familiar. Too painful.

“I was thinking…” Wanda starts, her tone casual, like she’s trying to bridge the gap, “maybe we could do something this weekend? Watch a movie or—” She pauses, her voice faltering as she notices the stiffness in your posture. “You know, like we used to.”

The words hang in the air, a thin thread of hope dangling between you. It’s tempting, that old dynamic, that easy friendship. But you can’t. Not anymore.

You force a tight smile, keeping your tone as neutral as possible. “I… don’t think I’ll have time this weekend. Lots of mission reports to catch up on. I’m, uh, heading out for another mission soon too.”

Her face falls, just a little, but she quickly hides it behind another smile. “Oh, okay. Maybe when you get back?”

“Yeah,” you say, but it’s hollow. You’re not sure you believe it. “Maybe.”

You pour your coffee in silence, the tension between you thick and suffocating. She’s standing so close, so desperate to pull things back to what they were, but you can’t meet her halfway. You’re too hurt, too angry. And you can see it in her eyes—the sadness, the regret—but she’s still acting like everything’s fine. Like she didn’t break you that day.

Wanda tries again, her voice quieter this time. “It doesn’t have to be weird, you know. We’re still… friends.”

Friends. The word stings. You clench your jaw and take a long sip of your coffee, pretending like the statement didn’t just slice through you. “Right.”

There’s an awkward pause. Wanda shifts uncomfortably, her fingers tightening around her mug as she watches you, waiting for something—anything—from you. But you can’t give her what she wants. You can’t pretend like things haven’t changed.

You clear your throat, already looking for an excuse to leave. “I, uh… actually, I’ve got to get to the training room.” It’s not a complete lie. You do spend most of your time there now, drowning out the ache with physical exhaustion. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

You’re already halfway out of the kitchen when you hear her soft reply. “Yeah. Okay.”

You don’t look back. You can’t.

As you walk down the hall, your heart aches with every step, but you shove it down, burying it beneath layers of numbness. Wanda wants to pretend everything’s normal, but it’s not. It can’t be. And right now, the only way you can protect yourself is by keeping that distance.

The door to the training room closes behind you, and with it, the mask you’ve been wearing all day shatters. Alone again, you drop your coffee cup onto the bench and run a hand through your hair, the sharp sting of tears prickling behind your eyes. You bite the inside of your cheek hard, desperate to stop them from falling, but it’s no use. The pain is too much, too raw. It claws at your insides, demanding to be felt.

You hate this. You hate yourself. For ruining everything. For letting your feelings get in the way of the one thing that mattered most—your friendship with Wanda. How could I have been so stupid? The thought echoes in your mind like a broken record, repeating over and over until it becomes a dull roar in your ears. You could have kept it to yourself, should have kept it to yourself. If only you had stayed quiet, swallowed your love like a bitter pill, maybe things would still be the way they were.

But no. You had to go and spill your heart out, thinking—hoping—that maybe she felt the same. That maybe there was a chance.

Now, all you have is the hollow, gnawing emptiness of her rejection. The distance that’s grown between you feels like a chasm, and every day that passes, it only gets wider. Wanda’s attempts to act like nothing’s changed cut deeper than any words. You hate that you can’t just let it go and pretend like she can. You hate that your love for her consumes you so completely, making it impossible to act normal, to act like the wound she left in you isn’t still bleeding.

And the worst part? The nightmares.

Every night, you dream of her. But it’s never the Wanda you used to know—the one who would laugh with you, who understood you better than anyone else. No, the Wanda in your dreams is cruel, her words laced with venom. She stands in front of you, her face twisted in disgust as she calls you stupid, pathetic, for ever thinking she could love you. “Did you really think I could love someone like you?” she sneers. “I had the greatest love of my life with Vision, and you—you’re just a joke.”

Each time, you wake up drenched in sweat, your chest tight with grief and shame, your body aching from the weight of the rejection that follows you, even in sleep. It’s torture. You’ve stopped trying to sleep altogether, throwing yourself into training, into missions, into anything that can distract you from the gnawing pain that follows you around like a shadow.

And Wanda…God, Wanda.

Every time she sees you now, her stomach twists into knots, guilt pulling at her like a heavy chain she can’t escape. She’s tried to reach out, tried to act like nothing’s changed, but every time she sees the neutral expression on your face, every time you make some excuse to leave, it’s like a dagger to her chest. She knows you’re hurting, knows that you think she doesn’t care—but she does. She cares more than she ever could have imagined.

The lie she told you that day, the one that broke you? It’s been haunting her ever since.

She can still see the look on your face when she said she didn’t love you, that she couldn’t be with you. It wasn’t just the hurt she saw—it was the betrayal. She knew what you had gone through just to tell her how you felt, how much courage it must’ve taken to lay your heart bare, while you were dying.

You weren’t entirely lying to her, you did have a mission coming up, it just wasn’t planned.

“Hey got another solo, if your up for it,” Nat proposed as she entered the training room, your fist rhythmically beating the punching bag.

“You know it,” you breathed, stopping the bag swinging.

“you leave in an hour,” she pursed a smile, dropping the file onto the bench next to your cold and forgotten coffee.

The mission had been simple enough on paper—intel gathering, no need for backup, in and out. You’d handled it alone plenty of times before, so it made sense that Steve signed off on this one without hesitation. What he didn’t know was how messy things had gotten.

You’d gone in hard and fast, ignoring the usual caution you’d been trained to follow. Maybe a part of you wanted it that way—needed the adrenaline, the distraction. You fought recklessly, pushing yourself further than you should’ve, not caring about the consequences. A knife wound here, slams into a couple walls there—it didn’t matter. You kept going, forcing yourself through the pain.

By the time you made it back to the jet, your body was screaming at you to stop, but you didn’t. You were trained for this, after all. No matter how bad the bleeding was, no matter how sharp the pain in your side, you forced yourself to pilot the jet back to the compound.

As you limped down the ramp, the pain finally caught up with you. Your side was drenched in blood, the makeshift bandage you’d wrapped around yourself soaked through. But still, you didn’t care. You just wanted to get back to your room and forget about everything. Forget about the pain in your body, and more importantly, the pain you couldn’t shake from your heart.

You didn’t think anyone noticed as you made your way through the compound, each step sending a fresh wave of agony through your body. But as you reached your door, your vision swam, and you realized you’d left a trail of blood behind you. That wasn’t great.

You managed to get inside, closing the door behind you with a quiet thud. Sitting down on the edge of your bed, you glanced at the mission report in your hand, half-written and filled with details you barely remembered jotting down in the jet. You were too out of it to finish the thing properly, but at least you’d gotten it done. You tossed it aside, planning to sleep the pain off.

But then there was a knock on your door.

You didn’t need to open it to know who was on the other side. A cold dread settled in your stomach as Steve’s voice called out, “Y/n? Open the door.

You stood, slowly, wincing as the pain flared again, and opened the door just enough to see Steve standing there. His eyes immediately flickered down to the blood staining your clothes, then to the trail leading from the jet.

His expression shifted, brows knitting together. “What the hell happened?”

You forced a shrug, downplaying it. “Got the job done, didn’t I?”

Steve’s eyes hardened. “At what cost?”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle.” You tried to shut the door, but Steve pushed it open, stepping inside.

He stared at you, his jaw clenched tight, then glanced around the room—at the blood, at the half-done mission report, picking it up and looking it over “You didn’t say anything in your report about getting injured.”

“I didn’t think it was relevant,” you muttered, turning away from him.

“Bleeding out isn’t relevant?” His voice was sharp now, frustration clear. “You’re limping, leaving a trail of blood through the entire compound, and you think it’s nothing?”

“It’s just a scratch,” you shot back, trying to keep your tone even, but the exhaustion and pain were getting to you. “I don’t need you to babysit me, Steve.”

“That’s not what this is about,” Steve said, his voice quieter but no less firm. “This is about you being reckless. You could’ve gotten yourself killed out there, Clint’s already mentioned the other risks you’ve been taking.”

You turned on him, the anger rising in your chest. “What difference does it make? The mission was a success. I’m alive. Isn’t that what matters?”

Steve stepped forward, his eyes searching yours. “What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing’s going on,” you snapped, pulling away from him. “I’m doing my job.”

“No, you’re not,” he shot back, his tone sharper now. “You’re pushing yourself too far, and it’s not just today. “Look i don’t no what happened but ever since–,” He hesitated, his expression softening for a moment. “Ever since you and Wanda stopped hanging out, you’ve been different. You’re not thinking straight. You’re taking unnecessary risks, maybe you should talk to her…clear whatever it is up.”

You scoffed, turning away from him. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine,” Steve said, stepping closer again. “And I’m not going to sit by and watch you destroy yourself.”

You clenched your jaw, the frustration and anger boiling over. “You don’t get it, Steve. You don’t—” Your voice cracked, and you swallowed hard, trying to keep it together. “It doesn’t matter.”

Steve’s expression softened. “I know you’re hurting, y/n. But this isn’t the way to deal with it.”

You shook your head, trying to push down the rising emotion. “I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not pity,” he said, his voice calm but firm. “It’s concern. You’re part of this team, and right now, you’re a danger to yourself.”

You turned to face him, your chest tight with anger and frustration. “So what? You’re gonna bench me?”

“Yeah,” Steve said, not missing a beat. “I am.

Your heart sank, but the anger bubbled up again. “You can’t do that. You need me out there.”

“Not like this,” he replied, crossing his arms. “I’m pulling you from active duty until you get your head straight.”

You stared at him, the reality of his words hitting you like a punch to the gut. “Steve—”

“You’re on probation, y/n,” Steve said, his voice final. “Until you deal with whatever’s going on in your head, you’re not going back out there. Not like this.”

Your fists clenched at your sides, and you fought back the urge to scream. You wanted to argue, to tell him he was wrong, but deep down, you knew he wasn’t. Still, that didn’t make it any easier to accept.

Without another word, you turned away from him, retreating into the bathroom to deal with your wounds. The sting of the alcohol on your skin was nothing compared to the frustration burning in your chest.

Steve lingered in the doorway for a moment longer before quietly stepping out, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the heavy weight of his decision. You were benched. And for the first time in a long time, you weren’t sure if you even cared.

After dressing your wounds and enduring a scalding hot shower, you collapse onto your bed, too exhausted to even care about the fresh bruises or the burning pain in your side. Your mind is louder than the physical aches, churning with frustration, anger, and something deeper—something you don’t want to name.

You stare at the ceiling, willing your thoughts to quiet down, but the more you try to ignore it, the worse it gets. Wanda’s face flashes through your mind, the way she looked at you when you confessed. The way her expression twisted into something unreadable before she shut you down. The ache in your chest deepens, and you force your eyes shut, hoping sleep will take over.

But it never does.

You don’t know how much time has passed when you hear a knock at the door.

You don’t move at first, thinking if you stay still enough, whoever it is will just go away. But the knock comes again, softer this time, followed by a familiar voice.

“Y/n, it’s Nat. Can I come in?”

You hesitate, staring at the door. You know Natasha well enough to know she’ll come in whether you say yes or not, but there’s still a part of you that wants to push everyone away. You’re tired—tired of talking, tired of feeling.

With a sigh, you mumble, “Yeah, come in.”

The door creaks open, and Natasha slips inside, closing it behind her. She doesn’t say anything right away, just stands there for a moment, taking in the state of your room—the bloodstained clothes tossed aside, the half-empty med kit, the way you’re sprawled on the bed like you’ve given up.

“You look like hell,” she says finally, her voice soft but laced with concern.

“Thanks,” you mutter, keeping your gaze on the ceiling. “I feel great.

Natasha crosses the room and sits on the edge of the bed, her weight causing a slight dip that you barely register. She’s quiet for a moment, and you can feel her watching you, waiting for you to say something more, but when you don’t, she takes a deep breath.

“Steve told me about the mission. About the probation.”

You grit your teeth, the frustration bubbling up again. “I don’t need a lecture, Nat.”

“I’m not here to lecture you,” she replies calmly. “I’m here because I’m worried.”

You finally tear your gaze from the ceiling to look at her, seeing the genuine concern etched on her face. It’s the same expression you’ve seen a hundred times before, but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. In fact, it makes it harder. Because if Nat’s worried, that means everyone else is too. And that means they’ve all noticed how far you’ve spiraled.

“I’m fine,” you say, but even to your own ears, the words sound hollow.

Natasha raises an eyebrow. “Really? Because last I checked, ‘fine’ people don’t come back from missions bleeding all over the compound and locking themselves away in their rooms.”

You swallow hard, turning your head away from her. “It’s not a big deal.”

“It is a big deal, y/n.” Her voice softens even more. “You’ve been different. Ever since… well, ever since Wanda. You’ve shut everyone out.”

Her name hits you like a punch to the gut, and you sit up abruptly, swinging your legs over the side of the bed. “Don’t,” you snap, your voice sharp.

Natasha’s face remains calm, but there’s something sympathetic in her gaze. “I know what’s going on between you two.”

Your chest tightens with both panic and frustration. “How do you even know what’s going on with me and Wanda?” you ask, your tone defensive, almost bitter. “What, did she tell you everything? Tell the whole team how I messed everything up by catching feelings?”

Natasha shakes her head slowly, her eyes softening even more. “She didn’t have to tell me. It’s been pretty obvious.”

You feel like someone’s ripped the ground out from under you. “What the hell does that mean?” you ask, standing up, pacing the room. “What’s obvious? That I was stupid enough to fall for my best friend? That I destroyed everything because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut?”

“It’s not about you being stupid,” Natasha says gently. “You’re not stupid, y/n. And Wanda didn’t think that, either.”

You laugh bitterly, your chest tight and aching. “Then what was it, Nat? Because she sure didn’t make me feel like someone who had a chance. She didn’t make me feel like… like anything. Just told me she didn’t feel the same and—.”

Natasha stands up and crosses the room, moving to stand in front of you. “She lied, y/n. She didn’t reject you because she doesn’t feel the same. She rejected you because she’s scared.”

You stare at her, your hands clenching into fists at your sides. “How could you know what she feels?”

Natasha doesn’t back down, her voice calm but insistent. “Because I’ve seen how she looks at you. We all have. Wanda’s terrified, y/n. She’s lost everyone she’s ever loved—her brother, Vision… She’s scared of loving you because she’s afraid of losing you, too.”

You freeze, her words hitting harder than you expected. The anger that had been boiling inside you starts to deflate, replaced with confusion and hurt. “fear makes people do stupid things,” Natasha continued softly “It makes them push away the people they care about most. You know that better than anyone.”

Her words hit too close to home, and you shake your head, trying to process everything. The self-hatred you’ve been drowning in, the isolation, the nightmares—it all starts to feel different.

But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

You turn away from Natasha, your hands running through your hair in frustration. “I didn’t want to lose her, Nat. That’s what I was afraid of this whole time. And now it’s exactly what happened.”

Natasha steps closer, placing a hand on your shoulder. “You haven’t lost her. Not completely. But you’re both going to keep hurting like this until you talk to each other.”

You let out a shaky breath, feeling raw and exposed in a way you hadn’t before, it could all become ten times worse if you talk to her and she just pushes you away more. “I don’t know if I can handle being hurt again.”

Natasha looks at you with a mixture of sympathy and strength. “You won’t know until you try.”

Steve knew something was wrong. He’d seen the tension between you and Wanda for weeks now, long enough to know it wasn’t just some temporary falling out. He had watched you slowly unravel, becoming more reckless on missions, more distant from the team, and he could tell it wasn’t just a professional matter. Something personal was tearing you apart.

And after today, after seeing the trail of blood you left from the jet to your room, he knew he couldn’t stand by any longer.

Steve found Wanda in the quiet of the compound’s common area, sitting by the window and staring out into the darkening sky. Her hands were clasped tightly in her lap, her expression distant, but there was a sadness in her eyes that he hadn’t seen before.

He approached her cautiously, his steps quiet but deliberate. “Wanda.”

She didn’t look at him right away, her gaze still fixed outside. “Steve.”

“Can we talk?” He kept his tone gentle, not wanting to push too hard. She finally turned to face him, her eyes red-rimmed as though she hadn’t slept in days.

“What’s going on with you two?” Steve asked, cutting to the chase. He knew Wanda well enough to know she appreciated honesty over dancing around the subject. “Y/n’s not… they’re not themselves.”

Wanda’s face tightened, her shoulders stiffening as she looked away again. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Steve sighed. “Wanda, you’re both avoiding each other. It’s affecting everything. Not just on missions but… it’s the whole compound,” he tried to tease but quickly saw it wasn’t the time, “I don’t think either of you are okay, it’s getting concerning.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment, her fingers fidgeting in her lap, twisting around each other. Steve watched her, waiting patiently. He could tell she was holding back—he had seen it before in the way she carried herself, always guarded, always afraid to let too much slip.

Finally, she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. “I hurt them, Steve.”

Steve frowned, leaning against the wall as he folded his arms. “What happened?”

Wanda hesitated, the weight of her guilt evident in every movement. “They told me… they told me they loved me.” She took a shaky breath, her voice wavering. “And I— I told them I didn’t feel the same.”

Steve’s eyes softened as he listened. “But that’s not true, is it?”

Wanda shook her head, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. “No. I love them. I love them more than anything. But I can’t—” Her voice cracked, and she pressed a hand to her chest as if trying to hold herself together. “I can’t lose them like I lost everyone else, Steve. I can’t go through that again.”

Steve watched her, the silence stretching between them before he spoke. “I know you’re scared. I know what it’s like to lose people you care about. But pushing them away? That’s only going to hurt you both even more.”

Wanda bit her lip, her breath hitching. “You don’t understand, Steve..”

“I think I do.” Steve’s voice was firm but kind. Wanda looked up at him, confused. “I lost Bucky, more times than I can count. I thought he was gone during the war, then I found him as the Winter Soldier. And every time I thought I had him back, something would happen. Hydra, the government, the Accords… it felt like I was always fighting to keep him in my life.”

Wanda’s expression softened slightly as she listened, her defenses lowering.

“But I never stopped fighting for him,” Steve continued, his voice steady. “Because the love I have for Bucky—it’s unconditional. Even if it was messy, even if it hurt, it was worth every second I got with him.”

Wanda’s eyes welled up with tears again, and she wiped at her cheeks, her hands trembling. “But what if I lose them, Steve? What if I love them, and then they get hurt, or worse—what if they die because of me?”

Steve stepped closer, his gaze unwavering. “You can’t live your life afraid of what might happen. Love is a risk, always. But it’s a risk worth taking. Because the time you spend pushing them away, that’s time you’re losing right now. You’re hurting them, and you’re hurting yourself.”

Wanda swallowed hard, her throat tight. She could feel the weight of her own fear pressing down on her, suffocating her, but Steve’s words rang true. Every moment she spent avoiding you, every time she told herself it was for the best, she was only making things worse.

Steve crouched down to be at eye level with her, his voice gentle but firm. “You don’t know what the future holds, Wanda. None of us do. But I promise you, shutting them out is going to hurt a lot more than loving them ever will.”

Wanda let out a shaky breath, her heart pounding in her chest. She had been so focused on her fear, on the possibility of losing you, that she hadn’t realized she was losing you right now. It was happening before her eyes, and it was her fault.

“I just… I don’t know if I can be that strong,” she whispered, her voice broken.

“You’re one of the strongest people I know,” Steve said softly. “And you don’t have to do it alone. You’ve got us, and you’ve got them. But you have to take that step, Wanda. You have to let yourself love them.”

Wanda closed her eyes, tears spilling down her cheeks as she nodded. She knew Steve was right. She had been running from her own feelings for too long, hiding behind the fear of losing you. But now she realized—by lying, she was already losing you.

“Thank you, Steve,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

Steve gave her a soft, reassuring smile. “Go find them. It’s not too late.”

Wanda took a deep breath, gathering what little courage she had left. She had to fix this. She had to find you, tell you the truth, and face whatever came next—because no matter how terrifying it was, losing you completely would be far worse.

You were back in the training room, throwing punches at the bag with reckless abandon. Each hit sent waves of pain through your body, but you didn’t care. It was easier to focus on the physical ache than the emotional storm swirling inside you. Natasha’s words echoed in your mind: Wanda loves you, but she’s scared.

Scared. You let out a bitter laugh, swinging another punch that nearly knocked the bag off its chain. Why didn’t she just tell you that? Why did she make you feel like you were out of your mind, like you were stupid for thinking she could ever love you back?

You wiped the sweat from your brow, breathing hard as your thoughts spun in circles. The truth had been right there all along, but instead of being honest, she had let you spiral. You weren’t even sure what you felt anymore—anger, hurt, maybe even guilt for forcing her into this position. You had laid your heart out for her, and she crushed it, all to protect herself.

Just as you were about to throw another punch, you heard footsteps behind you. You didn’t have to turn to know who it was. Her presence was unmistakable, a warmth that always made you feel safe and now felt like a dagger in your chest.

“Y/n…” Wanda’s voice was soft, hesitant, and it made your skin prickle. You kept your back to her, clenching your fists as you tried to control the emotions bubbling to the surface.

“I know you probably don’t want to talk to me,” she continued, taking a cautious step closer. “But I—I need to explain.”

“Explain what?” You finally turned around, your voice sharp. “How you made me feel like an idiot? Like I imagined everything between us?”

Wanda flinched at your words, her eyes widening with guilt. She looked like she hadn’t slept in days—her eyes were rimmed with red, and her usually steady hands were trembling. “That’s not what I meant to do. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“Well, you did,” you said bluntly, crossing your arms over your chest. The air between you felt heavy, suffocating.

Wanda stepped closer, her gaze pleading, but she still wouldn’t meet your eyes fully. “Y/n, please. It’s not that simple.”

“Then make it simple,” you snapped, your frustration finally boiling over. “Stop beating around the bush, Wanda. Tell me the truth. Just say it.”

She opened her mouth but hesitated again, her eyes flicking away from yours. You let out an exasperated sigh, running a hand through your hair. “For once, just be honest with me. You owe me that.”

There was a long pause, and you could see the conflict in her eyes, the way her whole body tensed as if she was fighting herself. Finally, she took a deep breath, her voice shaky but louder now. “I lied to you. About everything.”

You blinked, your heart skipping a beat. “What?”

Wanda took a step closer, her eyes brimming with tears as she finally let her guard down. “I lied. When I said I didn’t love you—I was lying.” Her voice cracked, and a tear slipped down her cheek. “I’ve been lying to myself, to you… I’ve been so scared of losing you that I thought it was better to push you away.”

Your mind was reeling, trying to process her words. You took a step back, overwhelmed by the flood of emotions—anger, relief, confusion. “So you do love me?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Wanda nodded, tears falling freely now. “Yes. I love you. I’ve loved you for so long, but I was terrified.” She wiped at her cheeks, her breathing uneven. “I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever loved, and I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you too. So I did the only thing I knew how to do—I pushed you away.”

You felt a lump forming in your throat, and your vision blurred with unshed tears. “Do you have any idea what that did to me?” Your voice cracked, and you swallowed hard, fighting to keep your composure. “I told you I loved you, and you made me feel like a fool. I was terrified too, Wanda. I didn’t want to lose you, but I had to tell you because—because I couldn’t keep pretending. My feelings for you—they consumed me.”

Wanda took another step closer, her hand reaching out but hovering in the space between you, afraid to touch you. “I know,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “I’m so sorry, y/n. I thought I was protecting both of us, but I was wrong. I hurt you, and I hate myself for it.”

Tears spilled down your cheeks as all the pain you had been holding back came rushing out. “You were my best friend, Wanda. My best friend. And I lost you the moment I opened my mouth.

Wanda’s face crumpled, her own tears falling faster now. “You didn’t lose me. I was the one who messed everything up. I was scared, and I made all your worst fears come true.”

There was a long silence as the two of you stood there, both of you crying, both of you broken by the weight of your own fears. Finally, Wanda moved closer, closing the distance between you, her hand finally resting on your arm. Her touch was tentative, soft, but it sent a shiver down your spine.

“I don’t want to lose you,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “Not like this.”

You looked into her eyes, seeing the raw vulnerability there, and it broke something inside you. All the anger, the frustration—it melted away in that moment, leaving only the overwhelming love you had always felt for her.

Without thinking, you reached down and cupped her face in your hands, pulling her close. Wanda’s breath hitched as your lips crashed together, a mix of tears and desperation. The kiss was soft but intense, full of everything you had both been holding back for so long. It was tender, warm, but laced with the pain of everything you had gone through.

Wanda’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer as the kiss deepened, both of you pouring your hearts into it, trying to mend what had been broken. When you finally pulled away, you rested your forehead against hers, both of you breathing hard, tears still slipping down your cheeks.

“I love you,” you whispered, your voice raw but full of conviction. “I’ve always loved you.”

Wanda let out a shaky breath, her hands gripping the back of your shirt like she was afraid to let go. “I love you too. I’m so sorry for everything.”

You pulled her into a tight embrace, burying your face in her hair, feeling the warmth of her body against yours. “We’ll figure it out,” you whispered softly, kissing the top of her head. “We’ll figure it out together.”

Wanda nodded against your chest, her arms tightening around you. “I don’t want to lose you again.”

“You won’t,” you promised, your voice full of the kind of love that you knew would last forever.

The two of you stood there, holding each other, the weight of the past weeks slowly lifting off your shoulders. For the first time in what felt like forever, you felt like you could breathe again. The fear, the pain—it was still there, but it didn’t matter. Not when you had her in your arms.

“Come on, you need a shower and some rest,” she mumbled tearfully.

“Are you saying I stink,” you joked hands going to her own.

She smiled, missing your childish jokes, “I’m saying we’re both exhausted and I’ve missed cuddling with you.” she pulled you towards the exit as you laughed following her, “and Steve told me what happened..Idiot,” she finished as you mumbled something about hitting steve.

Eventually, you both made your way back to your room, neither of you wanting to be apart any longer, you took a brief shower as Wanda found a movie to play. You curled up together on your bed, Wanda resting her head on your chest, her arms wrapped around you like she was afraid to let you go, legs tangled together.

As you both drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms, the nightmares seemed far away. For the first time in weeks, you felt peace. Wanda was with you, and that was all that mattered.

#enhanced!reader #marvel fanfic #wanda maximoff angst #wanda maximoff x you #wanda marvel #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximov #wanda maximoff #wanda angst #hurt/comfort

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epicbuddieficrecs · 1 month ago

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Weekly Recap | October 1st-13th 2024

Hope all my fellow Canadians had a good long weekend! Had a week from hell last week so I didn't have time to put up the rec, and it's even a bit late for today, but I did it!

If you know anyone who's not tagged, please don't hesitate to tag them in the comments!

Complete

Siri, Call... by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Sickfic | 1,5K | General): Buck is sick and needs to call for help.

for thy true-love take by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (Outsider POV, Established buddie | 2K | Teen): OR: Chimney Han and the ethics of slipping your coworkers love potions

watch out, you might get what you're after by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Getting Together | 2K | Mature): Buck unintentionally woos Eddie. And then has a hell of a time processing the way he feels about that.

i hate accidents (except when we went from friends to this) by bellabrady (Getting Together | 2K | Not Rated): Or: How Buck and Eddie's first kiss leads to someone calling the police on them.

Put To Good Use by kittyeddie (PWP, BDSM | 3K | Explicit): Or, Buck and Eddie finally have a kid-free day at home, and take advantage of every second of it

At First Scent by Inell/ @inell (Urban Fantasy AU | 4K | Teen): When Buck visits Maddie, he meets Chris, a magic user needing his sister’s help learning how to use his powers. He also meets Eddie, Christopher’s dad, and feels a connection that he’s only ever dreamed of finding.

Bears, and Foxes, and a Three-Legged Bobcat by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Pre-Buddie, First Date | 4K | General): Buck and Eddie go on a non-date date to a wildlife park. Cuteness ensues.

Just Right by Inell/ @inell (Future fic, Getting Together | 4K | Teen): After getting injured on a call, Buck wakes up the next morning and tries to piece together what happened, accidentally changing his relationship with Eddie in the process.

to adam, from your ribs by justhockey (S8, Getting Together | 4K | General): And the thing is, Buck is so good at being alone; he’s been doing it almost his whole life. But when he’s reminded of the way love tastes, drizzled like honey on your tongue - the way it feels, like the warm glow of sunlight on your skin. That is when he truly aches. Not the breaking, because he’s done that a thousand times over. It’s the knowing that really does him in. The having, for just a little while, before it’s snatched away so quickly he can still feel the burn on his fingertips from trying to hold on.

Hall Pass by Inell/ @inell (Post-S7, Getting Together | 5K | Teen): After Buck and Eddie take Jee and Mara trick or treating, Chim and Maddie play a trick of their own to help Buck finally make a move on Eddie.

it's leading me on, every time we touch by lightyears (Post-S6, Getting Together | 5K | Explicit): Eddie doesn’t think anything of it when he reaches across the table to pile some pasta onto his plate, says, “Just my back. It’s been giving me a bit of trouble.” “You’re hurt, Eddie?” Bobby asks him, and Eddie’s sure that his intention isn’t to capture the rest of the team’s attention, but by way of being Captain, it happens anyway. “I promise, Cap. I’m good. But if it helps, I can go speak with a doctor, make sure nothing else is going on.” Chim chirps up: “A physio probably makes more sense than a doctor.” “Or an occupational therapist,” Ravi suggests, and Eddie’s sure it’s to stave off a Chim-Hen showdown. “Even a massage therapist would probably help.” And then Maddie says, “Buck used to be a massage therapist” and everyone goes quiet, heads all swinging in Buck’s direction.

sweet sunbursts of flesh pink magic by Underhung_Aura/ @eddiebabygirldiaz (Canon Divergent, Witch Buck, Sex Pollen | 5K | Explicit): Buck’s magic has always been a bit volatile. Jittery. Fluctuating. A touch reckless. Messy and bright and loud. Maddie says that a person’s magic is supposed to match the person themselves, that the form it takes isn’t happenstance or random, that it’s a reflection of your purest self, an extension of your soul that you can manipulate. Safe to say, Buck’s never cared for that assessment. or, buck has magic and eddie gets doused with sex pollen

Happy Accident by Inell/ @inell (Post-S8E01: Buzzkill, Friends to Fiances | 6K | Teen): When Buck gets some good news, he accidentally kisses Eddie, which leads to a conversation that changes their relationship.

Kissing On The Corner, Wait For Just A Minute by fruitsdoesnotknow/ @tayf-ghost (Secret Relationship | 6K | Teen): Buck and Eddie think they're so smooth. They're cool, calm, collected. Normal, in fact. Just two normal best friends. Nothing to see here. Nobody is convinced.

Does it bite at your edges? by noxeratum (Infidelity, Post-S7, Getting Together | 6K | Explicit): Eddie Diaz is so repressed that he thinks his jealousy is bigotry and feels bad about it.

Talk Dirty to Me by ameliahart (Post-S7, FWB | 6K | Explicit): In which Buck has recently ended things with Tommy, Eddie wants to explore his sexuality, and they decide to start sleeping together. As friends, of course.

Through the Looking Glass by jukoist/ @beforejuko (Post-S8E01: Buzzkill, Getting Together | 6K | General): Buck likes Tommy. He does! And he definitely isn't in love with Eddie. He's just... worried. Because Eddie keeps vanishing on Sundays, leaving Buck with the boyfriend he definitely likes as much as he should. Everything is fine. Or, a post 8x01 coda.

Basics, Understanding Basics by fruitsdoesnotknow/ @tayf-ghost (Post-S7, Getting Together | 7K | Teen): Chris gets sick, loses part of his memory, and reassures Eddie and Buck they can still kiss in front of him. That's really thoughtful of him, except for the fact that Eddie and Buck aren't dating.

🔥All The Things You Want From Me by giselleslash/ @gigi-gigi (Post-S7, Getting Together | 7K | Teen): “Can I ask you something?” Eddie shrugs. “Sure.” Tommy looks nervous, unsure. Tommy never looks nervous, or unsure. “Do you think Evan would move in with me if I asked him?” (Or the one where Eddie feels Buck slipping through his fingers and can’t let him go, so he tells him not to move in with Tommy and blows everything apart.)

My Carpet’s Got Crop Circles by fruitsdoesnotknow/ @tayf-ghost (Eddie & Karen, Getting Together | 9K | Teen): Or, five times Karen tries to use wine nights to get Eddie and Buck together, and the one time she didn't need to.

🔥Late Fines by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, Librarian!Buck | 12K | Teen): Buck is a children's librarian at the branch closest to Eddie's house. When he gets himself involved in the lives of a cute kid and his handsome single dad, he gets a glimpse of what he wants in life. It might just take a few years to get it.

Eddie Diaz VS The Buck's Boyfriend Agenda by songbvrd/ @songbvrd (Post-S7, BuckTommy Break-Up | 23K | Mature): Eddie starts gathering information about why no one trusts Tommy. As he grows to hate their relationship more, he learns more about himself and what he wants.

🔥 ice cream before dinner by cloudydaisies (Post-S7, Getting Together | 58K | Teen): or, gerrard messes with the team's schedules and eddie 'i just drove my son to flee the state' diaz is the only option to watch mara and jee-yun after school on tuesdays, which, shouldn't be a problem at all, right?

🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 102K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.

WIP

Gentle On My Mind by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, Shannon Lives, Buck/Eddie/Shannon | 5/? | 32K | Explicit): In which Shannon lives, tells a lie, and sends hers, Eddie's, and Buck's lives down a very different path.

🔥 go and kill, go and die by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Zombie Apocalypse AU | 9/14 | 40K | Mature): The 118 are a group of survivors in a small California town in the wake of a zombie apocalypse. For months they've been isolated and safe. But the arrival of some new players, the search for some missing loved ones, will shake everything up and put their little team in jeopardy.

Podfic

[Podfic] déjà vu by NC Pods (N0Connections)/ @n0connections // fic by peaktotheocean/ @peaktotheocean (S7E07: Ghost of a Second Chance | 10-20min | General): It is completely possible that Buck put too much thought into buying his couch. But Eddie can’t think of anyone else in his life who would buy a couch just so his kid would be comfortable.

🔥 [Podfic] With a Little Help From my Friends by MeggieJolly/ @meggiejolly // fic by extasiswings/ @extasiswings (Post-S3, Feelings Realization | 10-20min | Teen): “You know…several of us parents get together once, maybe twice a month or so. You’re welcome to join us if you’d like. I can add you to the email chain.” Not for the first time that day, Eddie’s surprised. It’s not that he’s opposed, more that the invitation is unexpected. He’s not particularly social—when he is it’s with the team or with Buck or with his family, all of them in each other’s houses, in each other’s lives both at work and away from it. Outside of them… It occurs to him that he’s never really known how to make friends. [Or: Eddie makes friends outside of work and realizes that Buck might not, in fact, be just a friend]

🔥 as lucky as us [Podfic] by blackglass/ @blackestglass // fic by hammersmiths/ @henswilsons (Ravi POV, S7 | 20-30min | General): One of the first things Ravi learned when joining the 118 was to, under no circumstances, think too hard about Buck and Eddie’s relationship. But brother, they could try make his job easier. “I mean, I get it,” Buck’s saying, overhead, and Ravi’s knee-deep in literal human crap and even he can smell that shit from a mile away. “You and Tommy have a lot in common.” or, Ravi continually suffers as a third-wheel.

🔥 [podfic] baby, can i hold you? by All_I_Ask/ @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove // fic by fleetinghearts / @shitouttabuck (pre-Buddie, angst/comfort | 30-45min | Teen): Eddie’s eyes are squeezed shut, and Buck feels something inside him crack when this helpless, devastated sob wracks his body, eyelashes clumped with tears he’s not letting fall. “What do you need?” Buck asks again. “What can I do?” Eddie makes a frustrated noise. “I don’t know. I don’t know why this won’t stop.” or, eddie panics. buck holds him.

🔥 Heart, I Implore You [Podfic] by ReformedTsunderePodfics (ReformedTsundere)/ @film-in-my-soul // fic by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Vampire Eddie, PWP | 45-60min | Explicit): When Buck finds out his best friend isn't exactly human, he volunteers to help keep Eddie from dying. It's definitely just to keep Eddie from dying. No other reason. None whatsoever.

Re-Read

Down to the Bones of Me by giselleslash/ @gigi-gigi (Post-S7E10: All Fall Down | 5K | Teen): The morning after Christopher leaves Eddie gets in his truck and drives. Buck lets him go, and Eddie fights to come back for both of them.

#epic buddie fic rec #buddie fanfiction #buddie fic #buddie fanfic #buddie fic rec #buddie podfic

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tossawary · 16 days ago

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One of the more amusing narrative constructions in "Merlin" to me is how explicitly magic is tied to medicine from the very beginning of the show, with the healer Gaius as Merlin's mentor in both medicine and (secretly) in magic.

The third episode deals with a magically created plague in Camelot (which frankly seems like it should have killed WAY more people than they show dying, if it was in the water and as deadly as they suggest) and from the beginning, Merlin is like, "I can use magic to fix this. Let me use magic to help. I can save all of these people's lives." And Gaius stops him because he fears Uther will find out somehow. (You can also suppose that magic usually requires greater training than Merlin has, and fighting/curing a malevolent plague would burn most sorcerers out very quickly, and Gaius has no real concept yet of just how badly Merlin's gifts break the curve.)

Later in the episode, Merlin ignores Gaius in order to secretly cure Gwen's father. This quickly becomes a disaster because Arthur notices this quick recovery and finds the physical charm used, Gwen is blamed, and Uther decides to go straight to an execution about it because he sucks. But Merlin was RIGHT that he could cure the plague! Apparently with relatively little effort on his part! (Possibly because he's a freak of nature among sorcerers, admittedly!) It is a magical plague, potentially more of a curse than a virus, presumably working on different rules, but still!

It really underlines that all of these people are dying JUST because of Uther and Nimueh's conflict. Firstly because Nimueh is trying to get her revenge against Uther in the worst way possible, a plague, and secondly because Uther won't let anyone use magic to fight back.

In the next episode (4), it's all about Arthur getting a (magic?) flower to cure the (magic?) poison that Merlin drank. Episode 6, which I haven't rewatched yet, features another magical healer, come to take revenge against Uther for the death of his healer parents. In many of these cases, it's magical remedy versus magic cause, but it seems not unreasonable to assume that magic could still be very useful when dealing with non-magical ailments.

In fantasy worlds, I personally tend towards the idea that magic would just be another form of technology, and in many cases would be integrated with all other human technology in society. (Cooking! Humans LOVE cooking! Not starving is the #1 societal concern throughout much of history! Magic, if practical, would be used for a LOT of food-related stuff.) Obviously, there are fantasy worlds where magic is new in the world or sourced from evil demons or whatever, or there may be some anti-magic ideology for another reason, so people in those worlds wouldn't use magic casually. Magic, its origins and its cost, is different in every fantasy world, of course!

But in pre-Purge Camelot here, it very much seems that magic was a practical skill that would have been useful during daily life, even just to boil water or have a light in the dark. Maybe the gifts are relatively rare and the training is difficult for most people, but it seems like most people who work in medicine would want to have as much knowledge about magic as possible, even if they themselves can't really do any spells, and do not become druids or priestesses or anything like that. There seem to be a significant amount of magical plants and animals here, which would be crucial to the work.

So, uh, it looks like Uther's Purge would have primarily targeted anyone with medical knowledge. The equivalent of this society's doctors, nurses, and pharmacists. Healers, midwives, alchemists, and anyone else who refused to give up a useful tool that could save lives. Also anyone who made their living selling protective charms or magical herbs or any small thing that could have helped during a plague. Uther's Purge presumably wiped out Camelot's ENTIRE existing medical infrastructure.

Camelot has SEWERS somehow. And why wouldn't magic have been used in the construction and maintenance of a sewer system? If magic is a practical tool, it would have absolutely been used in waste disposal* and water filtration.

*EDIT: Yes, I know that the shown sewers aren't used for waste, obviously. I phrased this poorly. These sewers ARE directly connected to drinking water in the show, however, and the human waste that is generated by a city (which is a lot) getting into this system somehow would be a serious concern. SEPARATELY, I do think magic would have uses in regards to waste disposal. I don't think that these specific sewers are for waste, just that magic could be a tool for their cleanliness.

(Mulling over the potential headcanon that the only reason Nimueh's plague wasn't worse is because Camelot still has hidden layers of various magical protections holding over, even 20 years later. No one has been recasting the old Circles of Protections on the castle lately because very smart CEO Uther Pendragon has also killed most of the custodial and IT departments. "It's fine," he says, "there is no measurable difference," when Camelot is teetering on the edge of catastrophic failure several times a season.)

Like, uh, no wonder Uther can't get a single huzzah even when he announces a festival. It's the anniversary of this shitty king killing nearly all the doctors and outlawing Camelot's equivalent of vaccines and antibiotics. I'd hate his guts. Infant mortality probably skyrocketed. Do you think that people who live near the borders of Camelot regularly sneak one kingdom over to visit the nearest healer? I do. I'm imagining that some noblewoman in Camelot gets pregnant and then immediately goes to stay with her sister for a little while in the neighboring kingdom, because that king over there didn't kill all of the damn midwives. Fucking hell.

#tossawary merlin #merlin emrys #uther pendragon #gaius the healer #spoilers #character death #reblogs off

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hollowdeath · 10 months ago

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Oh hello, I just wanted to tell you that what you wrote is amazing! I read it over and over and couldn't stop reading. You are soooo amazing! *((Ugly crying😭❤️))*

And umm.. I would like to share about the imagination in my head about Dark Harry Potter. He joins the Lord Voldemort and betrayed all his friends. When the war ended, the Lord's side Voldemort wins. Everything is in chaos but Harry ignores it all because he only cares about the reader, his old girlfriend. (Harry still loves the reader even though the reader hates Harry.) He might have requested that the Lord Voldemort gave the reader as a reward to him after the war. Something like that, and ummm, a drama that is both bitter and sad and angry at the same time full of longing for each other? A rough and sad lovemaking? 🥺

hi! thank you so much for requesting! i hope you enjoy!

pairing: dark!harry james potter x fem!reader AU (18+)

summary: harry's all-consuming anger successfully tempts him to join voldemort in the war, sending you, his girlfriend, away in an attempt to keep you safe. years later he asks for your return, and is met with bitterness and rage as you struggle to navigate your feelings for each other in a post-war world.

c/w: smut!!! angst!! slow burn! mentions/threats of weapons, violence, abuse, and death/murder. smut is all the way at the end (grinding, oral, penetration, submissive!harry & dominant!reader) lightly edited, not book/movie/canon accurate

word count: 12.6k

a/n: this is giving me manacled x star wars and i love it lol, so so so much fun to write. i tried to make the reader more angst-y and dominant than normal, so if you like this please let me know! sorry if the plot doesn't make much sense. i also started school this week so please be patient with me! going to try and start posting shorter blurbs/headcanons between requests <3

harry was standing at a window in the lord's manor, watching the street below him as people sulked aimlessly by. it was a typical, gloomy day, the clouds gathering heavily above. it had been raining for weeks, maybe even months at this point, and it was beginning to cast a permanent gray shadow across the city. not even the weather could escape the tragedies of the war.

though harry chose to not dwell on the war, he felt its lingering effects. even from his lofty spot in the comfort of the lord's castle, which he barely left anymore. its walls had become harry's second skin. so long as he had everything delivered to him whenever he desired, it was disgusting to him to even think of stepping outside.

yet still, harry could see the abandoned and damaged shops just outside the lord's gates lining the courtyard along the cobblestone streets. the burnt remains of what once was. the sunken-in faces of the remaining people in the city. the lack of light, the lack of life, the lack of magic.

there's a part of harry, a weak cry from deep inside his repressed past, that feels bad. he was once a young wizard with bright eyes walking the streets of these same shops. he once enjoyed the sounds of shared happiness, and found solace in the fact that despite his lack of, there would always be joy in the world around him.

however, as harry grew older, and the circumstances around him shifted, he found himself getting angrier more often. not just on a weekly basis over small interactions or mistakes, but all the time, from the moment he was awoken by his nightmares to the moment he fell back into them. harry simply had no room inside of him left for anything else. it was just anger. pure, unbridled anger that only caused annoyance at first, then small outbursts of irritation after a while, and, eventually, he couldn't look at anyone or anything without wanting to physically destroy it for no reason other than he was just angry.

harry was angry at the world for having magic in it in the first place. he hated the divide it caused between muggles and non-muggles, pure bloods and half bloods. he was angry that divide is what took his parents from him before he could even properly know them. he was angry he had to grow up in abuse and neglect under the guise of 'safety'. he was angry he never received an apology, an admittance of guilt, not even a hint of closure for the past that was still controlling his present.

the boy who used to risk his life to save hogwarts and the students inside of it would eventually be the same one to let them fall.

when voldemort came back, and harry's anger was at its worst, he knew there was a connection. he didn't know about horcruxes yet and he certainly didn't know he was one. and yet he knew, somewhere deep inside him again, that it wasn't a coincidence. there was a reason his anger was consuming him, and the reason was voldemort.

after cedric's death, harry had begun to spiral. the nightmares were worse than before, he felt deathly paranoid constantly, and couldn't escape the intruding memories of the graveyard. though harry had managed well enough afterwards, still suppressing his rage, he couldn't hide the change in his personality from those closest to him. ron and hermione were the first to bring it up, but, of course, harry had snapped and told them to mind the business that pays them. despite his resistance, they tried until the very end to help their best friend see through his anger, to remember what was right and wrong.

however, once sirius was dead, it was all over.

harry had simply lost any hope that was left within him. watching sirius fall through the veil, his eyes lifeless and cold, was like watching harry himself die. he didn't think he could get any lower, and then he watched the only family he had left be cursed just within his reach.

harry was never the same after that. when he sat in bed late at night staring at the marauders map in his lap, he thought about how much he hated this life that's been made for him. the boy who lived, the scape goat, the hero, our only hope. it was crushing. harry was just a boy. he wanted to live a normal life.

but he knew he never could. not after tom riddle, not after cedric, not after sirius. even if everything went away tomorrow and harry could just attend his classes and be with his friends, nothing would change. he would still be alone, he would still be angry, and he would still suffer from his traumas. what was the point in fighting for good or living to see the end when you would always end up alone?

except, harry wasn't alone, really. he had you.

if there was one thing in this lifetime, one thing throughout this entire war that could have saved harry, it was you.

you and harry had been classmates for a year or so before really getting to know each other, and started dating not long after. when you were around, harry knew there was something worth fighting for. though he may feel angry and everything and everyone and everything everyone said, harry could never truly be mad with you. it's like when you looked at him the anger was muted, numb, deep inside him, and as soon as someone would interrupt it was bubbling at the surface again.

you were worried about harry, of course, and saw the effects his anger had on his relationships with everyone else around him. besides you.

he remembers you clearly, still to this day, and just how upset you were anytime he lashed out. if he'd felt anything other than anger at that time, it would've been guilt. guilt for hurting you, for scaring you. guilt, but not guilty enough to stop.

the anger was stronger.

even when you asked him, begged him, please, harry, please stop letting your anger win, and even when he promised, swore on his own grave, that he would try harder to stop for you, he never did.

harry was beyond angry. he was spiteful. all he had ever been was kind, a pushover who gave everyone the respect he was never graced with. he's saved strangers who wouldn't spit on him if he was on fire. he's lost his family in their sacrifice for the greater good that now rested upon harry's 16 year old shoulders.

he was beginning to think the fight wasn't worth it.

not only did the fight for good no longer seem worthy to harry, the fight against it only seemed to become more enticing. why should harry continue to risk his life and sanity when there would always be fights of blood purity? why should he be the hero everyone else has always wanted him to be?

for a long time, the answer was you. you were reason enough for harry to keep fighting, to keep his anger under control. when he looked at you things made sense for just a moment, his suffering was worth it to see you alive and well. until it wasn't.

everyone has a breaking point, and harry felt like he had finally reached his. as the war had geared up to a point of no return, harry had to make a decision. he had always assumed his decision was already made for him since birth, but he soon realized he never actually had to follow this path set for him in the first place. he was free to do as he pleased. he wasn't dumbledore, he wasn't his parents, he wasn't even the hero everyone thought he was. he was angry. he was spiteful.

worse than that, harry was vengeful.

so, when he met voldemort in the woods during the battle of hogwarts to accept his death, harry instead offered him a proposal the dark lord simply couldn't refuse. harry potter, his living horcrux, would become his successor upon his death. harry would fight with and for voldemort, training to become the most powerful dark wizard in history, and to finally let tom riddle rest well knowing the world was in just as dark, evil hands as his own.

though voldemort was skeptical at first, naturally, as harry expected him to be, he could eventually see the darkness within harry nearly consuming him whole. he was as serious as death itself. he no longer had the desire within him to continue fighting for, what he saw as, a lost cause. voldemort was rather pleased with this news, though never expected harry to come around like he did. he hadn't even considered it, really. but who was he to deny his own successor?

upon harry's return to hogwarts with voldemort and his death eaters in tow, every single person who watched was stunned into silence. even mcgonagall, who had been instructing and encouraging the students all night in their fight, had become speechless and teary eyed at the sight. ron had to catch hermione, who nearly fell to the floor.

but nobody was as upset as you were.

you had already been sobbing watching harry walk off into the woods towards his own death thinking you would never see him alive again. only to watch him emerge from the same treeline with the enemy by his side. it's like you got kicked in the gut. you would've almost rather never seen harry again.

"harry!" you had screamed in a broken voice as he crossed the bridge, voldemort's snake slithering at his feet. you were running to him, breaking through the multiple arms that tried to hold you back.

voldemort tried to raise his wand to you, but harry had stopped him, telling him to let him handle it. he was suspicious at first, still not fully trusting harry's intentions just yet, but was reassured by the sinister look in his eyes.

harry looked at you. he remembers feeling a twinge of that same guilt from before, the tiniest spark of hope deep within his rage. he really did love you, at least at some point he did. you would've made all of this worth it, you would've been the reason to keep going. but not even you were reason enough anymore. for so long he had been ready to take his revenge on the world that failed him.

"harry, what are you doing?" you had asked him, voice shaking. you were almost whispering, your eyes nervously glancing towards voldemort every other second in fear for your safety. harry grabbed your hands but you pulled them back, a look of disgust coming across your face.

"come with me." harry had told you. your look of disgusted transformed into shock, anger, confusion, and guilt. there were mumblings coming from the crowd of students behind you. "what?" you had asked, nearly breathless at this point, your eyes searching him for answers.

"come with me, [y/n]. i want you by my side as i become the most powerful dark lord in the world." harry explained, taking steps towards you with an excited grin on his face, his eyes still dark with corruption. you were still in shock when he grabbed for your hands. he kissed your knuckles softly with a quiet, "i love you,"

he had meant it, but not like he used to.

it took a few moments of silence and some tense eye contact before you pulled your hands away, letting the tears fall again as you attempted to gather your words. "you can't do this, harry. i will never join the dark lord. you know this isn't right, why are you doing this? why? why?" you're practically begging for an answer as harry looked away, an irritated expression on his face, clenching his jaw together. your hands reached for his shirt and jacket, trying to shake some sense into him as you grasped them tightly and pulled him closer.

"don't you love me?" you had asked him in the most heartbreaking, soul crushing voice. your words were weak, but your sentiment was palpable. you were bloody, dirty, covered in scars from fighting, holding harry close to you as you begged him with wide eyes. not too much earlier in the year he would've folded immediately looking at you, so innocent and desperate, his last bit of hope in the world.

but it was already far too late.

"take her to azkaban," harry had announced, angling his head back to the deatheaters behind him, keeping his eyes locked with yours. your grip on his clothes loosened and shocked gasps came from the crowd. harry looked at voldemort, who was a bit puzzled by the situation, but backed up harry's real nonetheless. "you heard the boy," he snapped towards the men behind him.

the deatheaters walked towards you as you stepped away from harry. "no, no, no, stop!" you were screaming, trying to back away from them, but they had grabbed your arms aggressively and began dragging you towards the bridge. "[y/n]!" a few students had shouted, running towards you before their attempts were blocked by a wave of voldemort's wand. the students fell to the ground, watching helplessly as you continued to fight your way out of the deatheaters' grasps. harry stood still, emotionless, completely stoic as he heard your desperate wails and calls for his name disappear into the woods behind him.

the rest of that night or day or whatever it was has since been completely blocked out of harry's mind, forever. his rage had reached a level he didn't know was possible. all he could recall anymore is the blood, the screaming, the running, and the light of his wand in his hand. many students and professors died during that battle at his hand, along with voldemort's and the deatheaters'. the castle was then burned to the ground, signifying the end of the battle. hogwarts had never stood a chance.

and, now, harry stands in the dark lord's manor, staring at the abandoned buildings lining his street, and he's thinking of you.

he often wondered how life would have been if you had joined him that day. though his years since have been packed with death, fights, destruction, and chaos, there were moments alone or in peril where you crossed his mind like a gentle breeze. a simpler part of his past, a light in his darkness. your soft, kind eyes, wide with shock as you back away from him, fixated on the deatheaters coming to collect you. your sweet, melodic voice screaming and breaking as you were dragged away, fighting for your freedom. harry could remember the moment perfectly despite everything else in his life being a blur.

he wonders how you would have filled the role as his partner in crime after choosing him. two dark lords unstoppable against the forces of the wizarding world, fighting 'good' and spreading evil just as he had been this whole time. would you have succumbed easily to the temptation? would you be as dark as harry was? could you maybe even be darker?

but harry knew it was a fruitless endeavor from the beginning. he had wanted to ask you anyways, to at least give you a chance to make the decision to be with him, even if he already knew what your response would be. harry was a bit let down at first, hoping maybe there was enough love between you to push morals aside, but he knew he would never be that lucky. part of why he fell in love with you way before his anger began was your commitment and dedication to what you believed was right. that same trait would be the driving force behind his decision to lock you away.

harry knew you. and he knew you wouldn't stop fighting until your body gave out, and maybe even after that. he may have lost you by sending you to azkaban for the foreseeable future of the war, but he'd rather know you were safe somewhere solitary than spend his years wondering where your dead body had been rotting into the dirt all this time. though azkaban was desolate, dark, isolated, and torturous, it allowed harry to sleep at night thinking of your still-beating heart resting safely behind those impenetrable walls.

lately his nights had become more restless, though, as the thought of you still residing in azkaban began to sit with him. he didn't feel guilt, really, he knew it was what was ultimately best for you. but he did miss you.

after the war had died down and voldemort took his place as the rightful dark lord of the world, harry's anger began to subside for the first time in years. rather than rage fueling his insatiable desire to destroy, he felt incredibly numb and disengaged with everything around him. the desolate streets and grim sky and abandoned city outside the windows began to fit his mental state more and more. for the first time since he was a teenager, harry could see past the anger.

and all he wanted was you.

so, harry had reached out to the dark lord, who spent most of his time at his new ministry castle across the country from the old manor he let harry watch over. they communicated every so often, checking in on business and social matters, but otherwise never had to meet in person.

harry sent him a letter asking for your release and direct delivery to his household, barring from reason. he felt after the war he had lead with and for voldemort, he owed harry a singular favor all these years later.

it only took 2 days for a confirmation letter to be sent back to harry, signed by voldemort himself, dating your arrival for the next day.

harry had his house elf, jinx, make up your room, asking her to be sure it was comfortable and clean before your delivery tomorrow afternoon, and to also provide plenty of options for dinner.

harry spent all night thinking about you, wondering what you'd look like after all this time. how similar or different you would be from what he remembers. how you'd react to seeing him. he knew you well enough to know you wouldn't react well, likely needing an extended period of alone time to adjust being here before he'd ever get a civil moment with you. but he was up for the challenge, otherwise he'd never ask for your return in the first place. he was releasing his anger, and instead building his patience, if not just to hold you one more time.

there was a delicious smell filling the mansion as the clock drew nearer to your arrival. harry was dressed better than he had been in years, and had jinx make the usually desolate looking building feel warm and inviting. fireplaces roaring, warm lamps flooding the hallways, and the grand dining table set to perfection for 2 particular guests.

harry didn't want to make it too obvious, but it was hard for him to hide how excited he was to see you again. even if you were different, even if you hated him, all he wanted was to see you in person, his eyes locking with yours for the first time since the day you were dragged away at his command.

once the hour was upon him, harry could hear footsteps and voices on the second floor. his heart leaped, setting down his glass of wine before heading for the stairs.

"let go of me, let go of me," a strained voice was crying down the hall, the sounds of a struggle coming from harry's left. he saw two house elves, rather squat and bulky, holding onto the arms of a frail body covered in a simple striped prison dress.

one elf turned to harry and gave him a devilish grin, "ah, there's the man himself!" he growled, his partner turning as well. "sorry we were late, mr. potter, someone here wasn't too keen on leaving azkaban, for some reason," he apologizes, pulling at the arm he's holding.

you slowly turn your head and stop struggling, your eyes wide with fear and mouth dropped open. "harry?" you whispered to yourself, your knees nearly giving out beneath you before the elves aggressively pulled you back up.

the first elf groans, rolling his eyes at you. "where can we put her, huh?" he asks, his tone impatient. harry pulls a few gold coins out of his pocket and hands them over to both of the elves. "right here is just fine. thank you, boys," he tells them.

the elves happily accept the tips and drop you to the ground, quickly disappearing in a flash.

you're left heavily breathing on the floor of the hall, sniffling and groaning in pain before diverting your attention to harry. your eyes were still wide, your eyebrows creased in confusion as you tried to move yourself further away from him on your hands and knees.

harry gave you your space, but watched intently as you nervously increased the distance between both of you. your hair was long, tangled, greasy, and falling around you like a curtain. you were smaller than he remembered, your eyes sunken in and cheeks more hollowed than before. you were pale, and visibly dirty. the soles of your feet were nearly black.

harry felt a pain in his stomach, his blood pressure rising imagining how you lived inside the walls of the prison. he couldn't identify the feeling. it was different from anger, but it wasn't far off.

as you continued to back up, your eyes shifted to a widow on your right. you slowly gained the energy to lift yourself and reach for the window, throwing it open before attempting to stick your hand out.

your hand hit the open window like you had never moved the glass barrier. you continued trying to stick your hand and head out, hitting at the invisible barrier with all your strength, making frustrated sounds.

"there's a spell on the house, love. you can't leave, just for now, until we can work things out," harry tried to explain gently as you continued trying to escape. he took a step towards you and you stepped away, leaning on the wall for support as you began to cry harder.

"get away from me, get away, what the fuck, what the fuck is happening," you tried to shout at him, your faced turned away and other arm putting distance between you and harry. you were gasping for air, your voice stressed and broken, shaking your head as you tried to continue backing up into the wall.

harry still attempted to give you your space. he hated to see you like this. you were so defensive and scared of everything going on around you. he wanted to give you time to calm down, but felt you needed to know what was going on.

"[y/n]," harry said, causing your head to snap towards him with curious eyes. your arm lowered slightly, your knees still weak beneath you. "listen to me, okay? just for a second," harry tried to ask kindly. he hadn't realized just how long it had been since he talked to someone this gently.

you continued to stand defensively, your eyes scanning harry up and down nervously as your breathing slowly started to still.

harry sighed, taking a moment to collect his thoughts before turning his attention to you again. "i know this is a lot, and i know it's confusing," he starts, his voice unexpectedly shaky. "but i asked voldemort, and i had you released from azkaban. i figured you may like a warm place to stay, so i had you brought here,"

you still looked confused for a moment before you narrowed your eyes, your arm coming up once again to defend yourself. "what are you talking about? where are we?" you asked harry suspiciously, still scanning him from head to toe.

"my manor. well, the lord's manor, but, essentially mine," harry says a bit awkwardly. you gave him a look of disgust, leaning further into the wall for support. "why would i want to be here? with you?" you practically spat at him with hatred in your eyes. harry was unaffected.

"i know you don't. but there's nowhere else to go. i promise." harry tells you solemnly. your eyes widen a bit again, a flash of fear coming across your face, but the anger quickly returns.

"i'd rather live in rubble than prop my feet up in the dark lord's manor," you say sharply, taking a step towards him in attempt to intimidate him. though you weren't much shorter than harry, you were weak, and tired, and he wasn't necessarily afraid of your threats.

he took a step back anyways, giving you more space. "look," he says, his eyes turning to the floor before he can steady his breathing and reply. "it's just for now. if you really don't want to stay, i won't make you." he says softly before returning his eyes to yours. they're not as bright as he remembers them in his dreams about you.

"but," he says, causing your jaw to clench. "you will stay until you're well again. and it's not up for debate." harry tells you firmly, his tone not as gentle as before.

you swallow harshly, your stomach growling audibly as the smell of the food downstairs begins to settle into your senses.

harry notices this and smirks to himself before quickly returning to a neutral state. "now," he announces, straightening out his blazer. "until the food is ready, there's a room made up for you just down this hall and to your left. it has a bathroom, and clothes. take all the time you need." he says before promptly turning on his heels and heading downstairs, his heart still racing from his encounter with you.

sitting in the living room watching the fireplace in front of him, harry eventually hears the door of your new bedroom click open and swiftly close. not long after he can hear the plumbing rumble as you take your first shower. he smiles at the fact that you're finally in his life once more, even if the circumstances were completely unusual.

harry's nearly concerned and wanting to send jinx to check on you after 2 hours of running water before it stops, the sound of the bathroom fan taking its place. harry's relieved.

"jinx, could tell our guest the foods ready," harry tells the elf as she brings the last tray from the kitchen to the dining room. she nods to herself, shuffling up the stairs sluggishly.

harry's pouring another glass of wine in the kitchen and decides to pour you one as well. on his way into the dining room, he sees you standing in the entryway. you're dressed in a large jumper, oversized pajamas bottoms, and your hair is still rather wet plopped into a bun on top of your head. your skin is rubbed raw, your cheeks still flushed pink as you analyze the table full of food in front of you.

harry smiles at your shocked gaze, your stomach growling again as he tries to hand you your glass of wine. you turn your nose at him, taking a step back. he smiles curtly and heads to his seat, setting your glass with his.

"figured you might be hungry," harry says as he sits down, his plate made for him already. he looks at you, arms still crossed, nose turned away, but eyes peeking at the endless food at your disposal. he can tell you're trying to keep your guard up, but your stomach hasn't stopped rumbling since you came downstairs.

he gestures to your chair just across from him, a plate made for you as well. you look at him, your eyes curious but expression still tight. you carefully take a step closer to the table, but you're still weary.

harry gives you a sympathetic smile. "after tonight you can have any meal you want in your solitude. i just thought i'd be nice and host my guest for the first night," he tells you, catching your gaze.

your curious look quickly turns to one of anger. "i'm not your guest. i'm practically a prisoner again." you hiss, your eyes boring into his with contempt. harry can sense the rage building inside of you. he's familiar with the feeling.

though you were different in so many ways, your dull eyes and lifeless voice, you were also similar in your determined attitude. you had always been the type to stand up and take charge, which harry completely admired and was impressed by. he found your beauty to be most potent in your strong will and cunning mind.

he admired you for just a moment, looking down at him with enough hatred to send shivers over his body. you looked so young, your skin supple and smooth under the light of the candles and fireplace, your hair falling loosely to frame your furrowed brow. you were just as pretty as he remembered, even if your expression always contained a hint of sadness and fear around him.

harry simply smiles softly, sitting back in his chair. "i prefer guest," he says teasingly. you suddenly snap at him, grabbing for his steak knife and pushing your arm to his neck against the back of the chair, holding the point of the knife to the side of his neck.

if looks could kill, the knife would've been unnecessary. your eyes were nearly black as you shakily push against harry's throat. "let me out of here now or i swear, harry," your voice cracks saying his name. "i swear i'll fucking kill you," you spit, leaning further into your grasp him on, your jaw clenched tightly.

harry, to your surprise, just chuckles to himself, not even struggling to breathe as he looks up at you deviously. your eyes widen just before you feel your arms start to move for you, as well as your legs. your neck is strained as well, an invisible force pushing you away from harry as the knife drops from your hand.

you're suddenly released from the mysterious grasp, and you choke out a breath, looking back at harry. he's smirking, but trying not to let you see as his pointed hand lowers from you. he fixes his shirt and chair, gesturing again to your seat across from him. "as thrilling as that was, love, not yet. i'd like you to stay here for at least a month before i consider placing you elsewhere." harry states, picking his knife back up to place on the table.

you stare at harry incredulously. "a month?" you ask, your face turning red again. you take another step towards him but you falter in fear of him using the same force as before to stop you. you stumble as your mind races to gather your thoughts. "how…you…i'm not staying here for a month! this is insanity! how could you send me away like that and just bring me back like it was nothing? a shower and a plate of food and suddenly those 5 years in azkaban never happened?"

you're now shouting at harry with a broken voice, your emotions on high as the tears threaten to fall again. harry watches you, just watches, and simply gestures to your chair again. "just join me," he insists.

you go to yell again, but harry sternly interrupts. "we can discuss this another time. please. sit down." he commands from you.

your mask drops for a moment, a look of fear crossing your face before diverting your eyes away completely to your chair. your stomach growls again, your hand covering it to hide the sound.

it takes a few moments until you slowly make your way to sit down, glancing at harry before taking your seat. harry begins eating silently, and, not long after, you're digging into your first real plate of food in years.

harry can't help but smile to himself subtly watching you indulge yourself for a moment, the mask slipping again as you gratefully shovel spoonfuls of food into your mouth with a sigh of relief. he was glad you were eating, even if he had to put up a bit of a fight to convince you.

as harry finishes up, you're still making your way through your second plate. he stands, grabbing your attention and making you curl back into your seat. "jinx," he calls out before sipping the last of his wine. jinx comes to the table and grabs harry's glass and plate, turning to take them to the kitchen.

"[y/n], this is jinx," harry motions to the elf, who gives you a warm smile. you return the smile, but it doesn't reach your eyes. "if you ever need anything, anything at all, don't be afraid to ask her. she lives to serve," harry tells you proudly, earning a slight look of disgust from you before returning a smile at jinx.

"this was a lovely dinner, ms. jinx, thank you so much, truly," you thank her honestly. she bows to you slightly before continuing her way through the doors to the kitchen.

you shoot harry a glare. "the harry i knew would've never kept a house elf," you say, your words dripping with disdain. harry ignores your statement, turning to the stairs before ascending them.

he leaves you alone at the dining table, closing himself off in the master bedroom for the night. just as he's finishing up brushing his teeth, he hears your door click shut. that night he fell asleep feeling more reassured than he had in years knowing the pretty girl he couldn't keep his mind off of was asleep just down the hall from him.

it had been a few weeks since harry moved you in, and he rarely ended up seeing you in the mansion. you were often locked away in your room, or taking showers, and harry only ever saw you when you were finishing up a meal with jinx.

you had become quite close with her, it seems, which harry found sweet. he was worried at first that you may be using jinx as a way to find an escape from the house, but after a while without incident, harry realized how silly the idea was. you truly could connect with anyone.

one of the only other times he saw you, though, was when he passed by the open library one night. harry had been restless, thinking about his past in depth, feeling emotions he couldn't place, and decided to watch the sunrise to clear his head. he took a quick glance through the doors before spotting you curled up on one of the couches, a book in hand, fast asleep beside a warm lamp.

harry stopped, taking a moment to admire you from afar. you had gained some weight back being here, which harry loved to see. your cheeks were full and rounded, your hands not as frail, and the color was coming back to your skin. your hair looked impossibly soft under the light, sprawled everywhere around your angelic, sleeping face. harry couldn't help the cheesy smile that overcame his face. he was just happy that you were okay.

outside of that, harry spent most of his time alone, thinking about you. you hadn't reached out to him yet, which he expected, but was surprised when a month came and went and you still didn't confront him. he hadn't made his decision just yet, so he didn't have an answer for you even if you had asked him. he saw you were doing better, but still wasn't confident in letting you go. not just for selfish reasons, of course, but he wanted to be sure you were equipped enough to live on your own.

but, harry had to admit, his heart raced when he heard your soft footsteps pass his door to the stairs. his mind went blank seeing your figure standing in the dining room with jinx, chatting over a plate of snacks together. his blood ran cold when he heard your soft giggle from somewhere in the mansion. like a beautiful ghost haunting his past.

harry knew even before he sent his letter to voldemort that his feelings for you had never truly gone away. deep under his rage, his unforgiving heart, his cold blooded nature, his love for you had always remained. but he was learning to accept your departure if you chose to do so. a final goodbye to the most beautiful part of his unsightly life. harry wasn't sure he could handle the idea.

he was struggling with his thoughts, the constant back and forth he was feeling about you. at first harry was sleeping better with you there knowing you were safe, but now he stayed up late worrying himself sick over the decisions he had to make now that you were actually there.

sitting in bed, staring at the rising sun through his window, harry's mind was exhausting him. he hadn't slept all night and could feel the effects setting in. slowly, he stood from the bed and slipped on his house shoes along with his robe. he quietly leaves his room to not disturb you so early just down the hall.

he walks to the opposite end of the hall towards the balcony, and takes his usual seat facing the sunrise.

harry contemplates here most mornings, but never comes to any radical conclusions. he doesn't know what to do, he doesn't know what's best for you anymore. he knows he selfishly wants you all to himself still, but also knows you deserve to live the life you want no matter what his opinion is. it's the same conversation with himself every time, and it leaves him confused and upset for keeping you here like he is. even if his heart is in the right place.

his thoughts are interrupted by jinx, who offers harry a cup of tea. he thanks her, but quickly calls her back to ask a question. "jinx, um…[y/n], how is she doing?" he asks.

jinx, a quiet house elf, gives harry a smile, and pats his shoulder. her smile is warm and reassuring, as well as her hand. as she walks off, harry smiles to himself a bit. he's not completely satisfied with the answer, but he takes what he can get.

finishing his cup of tea with the sun shining over the horizon, harry turns to head inside before being met with the sight of you standing at the open doorway of the balcony.

you're dressed in a simple long sleeve pajama shirt along with comfortable pants, your arms crossed as the morning chill sets into the air. harry's a bit startled at first, but gives you a polite smile, diverting his eyes and walking around you to leave you be.

"harry," you said softly, turning to him.

harry's heart dropped, but turned to you promptly with eager eyes. the way you said his name, your soft voice, he was already so captivated by you.

"can we talk?"

now harry was worried. this is what he's been afraid of since you got here. he's not ready to answer you. he doesn't know what he's going to say when you desperately ask him to leave and never come back.

"of course," he says calmly, gesturing to the balcony so you could sit together.

once you've joined him in watching the sun, you two fall into a somewhat comfortable silence as the soft wind whistles past.

"i never thanked you," you said quietly after a while, almost a whisper in the wind. harry looked at you, looking at the sunrise. your face was radiant. you were brilliant in the light of the sun, your hair still impossibly soft and beautiful, falling around you, following the flow of the air. harry was overwhelmed with the beauty your presence held in this moment. "you never had to."

you glanced at harry, studying his expression, before turning back to the sun. "it's also been a month." you state coldly. harry's gaze drops, sighing. "57 days, technically," he mumbles.

a few moments of silence pass again, leaving harry an anxious mess in his seat. he tried to think of a gentle way to let you know he still needed time to decide what to do. a way to tell you without putting his life at risk to your anger.

"well, as much as i hate to say this, you were right," you say, still watching the sunrise in deep thought. harry was shocked by your words, immediately sitting up in his seat to get a better look at your face.

you were stoic, your eyes fixated on the scene out beyond your reach. "what?" harry asked, not believing his own ears. a small smile crept to your lips, the first one he's managed to see himself since you've been here. his heart aches at just the hint of seeing it again.

"don't make me say it again, potter," you try to say threateningly with that small smile, your eyes falling to your lap.

harry is stunned into silence, watching you with careful eyes. "but, you were right. i needed time to be healthy again." you said to him, your back still turned. harry stayed quiet, allowing you to continue. "i was angry with you. i still am. i don't think it'll ever stop," you inform him, the coldness returning to your voice. "but," he was preparing himself for the rejection, the questions, the begging.

"i'd like to stay, if you'll have me," you offer in a slightly embarrassed tone, your face turned the other way.

to say harry was shocked at your request is an understatement. he was expecting you to have a plan to take him out if he had rejected your request to leave yet. he never considered the idea that you might actually want to stay with him.

"i'll have you forever, if you let me," harry responds, a small smile on his face as well. you shoot him a warning look. "not forever. just until i feel well again." you tell him, your voice cold once more. you turn back to the sun, now completely over the horizon. "figured you owe me that much," you say in an accusatory voice.

harry just smirks to himself. you could never be soft for long when he was around. but he appreciated that you felt you could ask him to stay, though you never had to in the first place. harry really would have had you forever, if you'd let him.

"stay as long as you need to." he says.

you glance back at him again, your eyes softer this time. you're analyzing him for a moment before turning to him a bit. "it took me a long time to understand why you sent me to azkaban," you tell him, your voice steady and emotionless. harry just watches you, admiring the light surrounding you.

"you would've never stood a chance in destroying the world had i been free," you state, your eyes still examining him. harry offers you another small smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes the same way. "you knew you were weak," you say.

harry's now analyzing your expression, your words swimming around in his mind. "i did," he admitted to you. "it was just easier if i knew where you were all this time," he says breathlessly.

your eyes narrow at him once more, the anger returning to your body language. "easier for you. i would've never done the same if the roles were reversed." you snapped at him harshly. harry believed you. he thought about it a lot in his nightly battles with his own mind.

"you're right," harry stated, still admiring you in your anger. you were upset, but gave harry a questioning look. your eyes softened only a bit. "i think about it all the time," he admits to you gently.

you're a bit puzzled by his admittance of guilt, but don't let it stop you. "i hope it haunts you at night the way it haunts me," you say sharply, your eyes dark.

"always has," harry says to himself, only making you more angry. "you poor thing. must've been so tough relaxing in this mansion knowing i was rotting away in solitary confinement." your voice is strong, powerful, a contrast to the broken words you gave harry your first day here.

"it was," harry says simply, sensing your rising impatience with him. you stood from your seat, towering over him as he continued watching you in wonder. "you evil little rat. you're just lucky my magic is restricted by this spell. i would've killed you in your sleep that first night." you threaten him, gesturing to the protection spell around the castle and balcony.

harry wants to stop himself, but can't keep the smirk off his face. this only angers you more, pulling your arm back and slapping harry square across his face.

he doesn't react, instead allowing himself to stay facing away from you. "i hate you," you state weakly, your hands balled at your side. harry looks at you, the smirk still playing on his lips. "i know," he says softly.

you frustratedly sit back down, turning to look back at the sunrise once more.

a long silence settles over you two, listening to the sounds of the city as it awakens around you. eventually, you stand, turning to leave harry alone on the balcony. you pause before you leave.

"i still never thanked you, harry." you speak softly, your back turned to him. he looks over at you, your curves glowing in the morning light. "you never had to," he replies, and you're off down the dark hallway.

for the next few months, you and harry live together amicably. he sees you around more often as you start to leave the confines of your room. of course the library was a place of solace for you, but he started to see you more in the living room, on the balcony, or in the dining room enjoying jinx's company. for a while you two exchanged polite greetings, simple glances and acknowledgements, before asking about each other's days, or commenting on the weather. it was agonizingly slow for harry, but he was breaking through your walls one way or another.

one day not long after you'd slapped him on the balcony, you sat in the living room with harry, across from his seat on the couch. he was surprised by your presence, but gave you a small smile over his book anyway. "jinx tells me you've been acting different," you'd stated bluntly, watching his face for a reaction.

harry put down the book he was reading, giving you his attention. "have i?" he asks. you were always examining him, your eyes critical but curious at the same time. "she says your anger used to be terrible. even worse than i remember." you lead him on.

harry bit his lip thinking about the years where his rage was at its worst. he tried not to dwell on them, and instead tried to focus on the newfound emotions consuming his life. but he couldn't deny the path of destruction he'd left while seeing red.

harry eventually nodded, his eyes distant. "it was," he admits, his voice just as lost in thought. you shifted in your seat. "you let it ruin everything, harry." you said softly, leaving him looking at the floor in disappointment. "i know," he admitted.

the silence between you was palpable. harry felt the weight of it on his shoulders before you spoke again. "i would hear about the things you did while in azkaban. the guard would tell me even after i asked him to stop." you inform him. harry can still feel your eyes shooting daggers at him.

"for so long i fantasized about being the one to kill you, to finally put an end to voldemort." you said wistfully. harry glanced at you, seeing a longing look on your face. "how brave of [y/n] to put her love aside to kill the dark lord's apprentice." you said in a mocking tone, leaning back in your seat.

harry watched you, imagining you in azkaban, dreaming of putting an end to his life, while he dreamed of freeing you. it was a fair trade, he thought, and not one he would argue against at this point. and it didn't go unnoticed that you mentioned your love for him, either.

"you still can," harry says, causing you to snap your eyes back at him. "excuse me?" you ask with a sneer. harry puts his book to the side and sits up, his feet planted on the ground. "kill me, that is. it's not impossible." he tells you with intrigue.

you're staring at him incredulously, your eyes always searching him. "you're…you're kidding, right? i mean, you took my magic while yours seems to be highly skilled. you really think i'd stand a chance?" you ask with a sarcastic laugh.

harry stands from his seat, taking achingly slow steps around the coffee table towards you. "yes, while your magic is weak, you are not, [y/n]. i've gone out of my way to keep the knives, fire pokers, swords, and hundreds of books on potions and charms out for your use, at any time, have i not?" harry questions you, getting closer now. though you would normally pull back from him, you stay seated, trying to process his words.

standing just before you, harry admires the curves of your face against the light of the fire. "with your nimble step and cunning wit," harry lifts his hand to gently put his fingers to your chin. the first physical contact he's had with you. unless you count the time you held that knife to his throat. "you could gut me like a pig before i even have the chance to squeal," harry's voice is soft but dark, your breathing caught in your throat at the contact.

as he backed away, harry could see the physical effect he had on you. your nervous blinking, your jaw tightening, hands trembling; he found it sweet he could still do that to you, even if you claimed to hate him.

after that day, harry felt less tension between you two. maybe being vulnerable around you made you realize he was never a threat to begin with. he didn't want anything from you, and he didn't care if you never wanted anything from him. as long as you were safe, that was all he cared about. he hoped you were starting to understand that.

though conversations between you were still tense and cryptic, there was a sense of unspoken comradery that felt nostalgic to you both. your serious, brooding angst matched with harry's calm, collected coldness made for an interesting match. it was never the same as before, you were both fairly aware it wasn't ever going to be, but there was an undoubted chemistry that still lingered from your teenage years together.

however, something else that always lingered during your interactions is your distaste for harry's actions. at any chance you can, you poke and prod at his past, partly to understand, he assumes, but also to test his limits. you were always cautious and suspicious of his submissive behavior when it came to this kind of confrontation; how could someone who was, at least at one point, so evil, so cruel and heartless, become so nonchalant about their past? who wipes out entire cities just to 'not dwell on it'?

this was always a point of contention between you, even if everything else until that point had been somewhat playful. it never so much upset harry as it riled you up, bringing strong emotions to the forefront, causing you to lash out at him. though he always stayed calm, he also always seemed to listen. he never disagreed with your feelings or sentiments, if anything he agreed with your hatred for himself. it's like that day in the living room when he tempted you with his death, and yet you never took the bait.

harry rather enjoyed watching you work yourself up, and admired how quick you were to defend yourself. he never wanted to upset you, of course, but sometimes he couldn't help his cheeky responses knowing it would get a look out of you that made his heart jump. it might not be the most gentlemanly thing he does, but something about your anger excited him. it was nothing like his vengeful rage from the past, but it had its own potency that ran a chill down his spine. harry was so used to everyone cowering away from him in fear of his power that he relished your open aggression towards him. it was thrilling, and it was exactly what he needed.

harry tried to remain respectful of his guest, but having such a beautiful mind and body occupy his space with him was hard to ignore sometimes. his eyes would wander, as well as his thoughts, and he had caught himself fantasizing about you a few too many times to admit. you were stunning, of course, you always had been, but there was something about you now that elevated your beauty in harry's eyes. maybe it was the dark, unforgiving coldness of your eyes, or the strong scowl that your expression rested in, or the underlying anger that was ready to bubble over at any point, but harry was completely infatuated with who you had become.

he knew how hypocritical it was for him to admire the parts of you that were forced out in your desperation to survive the decision he made for you all those years ago. though you seldom mentioned your years in azkaban, harry could see and feel the effects it continued to have on you. they weighed on him heavily, and though harry wasn't one to regret what's happened in the past, he wished he could've figured out another way to protect you at the time. a way that didn't dim the light inside of you the way that it has been.

but still, that light was there. when you smiled to yourself at your own quips, when you admired the food jinx prepares you, when you lost yourself in your books, harry could physically feel the light radiating within you. it was familiar, like an old hug from a friend, and was unmistakably beautiful.

sometimes he felt like a teenager again, discovering the parts of you that made him fall in love in the first place. your natural charm, your captivating eyes, the innate draw he felt to you simply by being in your presence. it was unlike anything he's felt for another person, before or since meeting you. but rather than two teenagers flirting over study dates, you were now two closed off adults with a complicated history and 'break up', if you could even call it that. it was nothing like the past, yet it was entirely too similar.

you and harry had been sitting in silence together in the living room, reading your respective books, enjoying each other's company. it was one of harry's favorite things to do with you now, and one of the only ways you two could be together without it ending in tension. neither of you talked, neither of you made noise outside of the occasional chuckle or gasp at your readings; it was a peaceful excuse for harry to be near you, and sometimes admire you from over the pages.

this night, however, you broke the traditional silence by asking harry a question you'd been keeping to yourself. "harry," you started. he loved the sound of his name in your voice, it was invigorating to listen to.

harry turned his head to you, his book still in his lap, noticing you've long since placed yours on the table beside you. "[y/n]," he responded with his typical smirk, returning his eyes to his book.

you cleared your throat a bit, your ankles crossing in front of you. "how often did you think of me," it was more of a statement than a question, your tone not as cold and questioning as it typically was.

harry knew what you meant, of course, and waited a moment before answering you. "i'd never stopped," he said simply. it was true, and it still is.

you turned to look at the fireplace, your knees bouncing out of the corner of harry's eye as he pretends to continue reading. "but you never came back for me," you stated. harry's eyebrows furrowed, glancing at you again before looking away to leave you with your words. "you left me there to die," you said, that familiar coldness returning to your tone.

harry let out a sharp breath. "that was never my intention, and you know that." he says without a reaction. you become visibly irritated, your jaw clenching with your fists. "you never thought about me," you insisted, your words heavy with contempt.

harry shut his book and threw it beside him, leaning towards you. you turned to glare at him, your nostrils flared. "i was lucky to sleep one full night in the last 5 years without a singular dream of you." he tells you, his voice as steady as his eye contact. "you haunt me like a ghost, [y/n]. you always will."

you're looking at him questionably as you stand from your seat across from him, now making your way towards him. "good. i hope you never forget about what you did to me. i won't." you hiss at him, your cheeks turning red. harry's mind races with you towering over him, leaning back in his seat to fully enjoy the view.

"how could i forget about you?" he quips, that same damn smirk making you grit your teeth. you take another, heavier step towards him, your fists trembling at your sides. "stop fucking doing that," you spit threateningly.

harry cocks his head to the side, looking you up and down. he likes seeing you like this, even if it scares him a bit. "what?" he asks, pushing you even further.

you step between his legs and lean into his face, only leaving a few inches between you. "that, you fucking creep. is this funny to you?" your voice is raised now, the anger finally starting to boil over again. "not at all," harry says, still smirking at your reaction.

"then wipe the smirk off your face and stop doing this to me, harry." you instruct him, leaning back to cross your arms in front of you. harry's biting his lip, not able to resist the lustful thoughts he's having of you in this situation. "doing what, exactly?" he asks, curious what you mean.

"this, all of this, harry. you look at me like a starving animal. you watch me around the house like a stalker. you say you think of me all the time and yet you've only so much as touched my chin." you rattle off, clearly frustrated with these thoughts you've kept inside. "you bring me back here and have me live like a princess when there's people outside who live like animals because of you and what you've done," you continue to raise your voice at him, now getting yourself completely worked up.

harry just watches you, like always, not disagreeing with any of your sentiments. as he normally doesn't, he knows you're a smart girl.

"and you're still fucking looking at me like that," you growl, your arm coming across his neck once more, like the first night you were here, holding him against the cushions of the couch.

harry doesn't stop you, as he never does, and instead enjoys the feeling of you kneeling between his legs in an attempt to further choke him. "i swear on my own life i'll still kill you, potter. what the fuck do you want from me?" you interrogate him, your dark eyes searching him for answers.

the smirk on harry's face only grows, causing you to push further into his throat. it's ironic how much he wants from you right now that would only further put his life at risk in your hands.

"i…never wanted…anything…" harry chokes out. he knows he's stronger than you and could easily escape your grasp, but he enjoys the feeling of letting you have control over the moment, and over him.

"that's a fucking lie," you say through gritted teeth, getting nose to nose with harry. "tell me what you want." you insist.

harry's heart is racing, his mind going blank from the lack of oxygen, and an inconvenient erection growing through his trousers. he could tell you so many things he wants, how many nights he's spent imagining you on top of him like this once again. he knows it would only anger you more, and he was almost tempted by that thought alone.

after a few moments of harry struggling to keep his eyes focused on you, you could feel something against your thigh that caught your attention. glancing down, your weight on harry's throat lessened enough for him to breathe slightly. you looked back up at his eyes with a look of confusion and shock before quickly returning to anger.

"seriously? are you fucking turned on right now as i'm threatening your life?" you ask him with disgust, slightly pulling away. harry's cheeks flush as he tries to catch his breath, your arm still resting across this collarbone. he stays quiet, his eyes glancing between you and his lap.

you scoff at him. "you're so pathetic, potter. how you were ever a leader of anything is a mystery to me." you ridicule him, an amused smirk coming across your own face.

your condescending attitude only fuels harry's excitement more, trying not to let his expression expose how much he's enjoying this.

"it's almost like you want me to kill you," your voice is quiet but dangerously cold, giving harry goosebumps as your breath falls across his blushing face. he tries to stop it but his body can't resist a low whine being forced from his throat.

your eyes fall to his lips for just a moment before you lean into them, surprising harry with a hungry kiss as you relax your weight onto his body. more moans escape harry's mouth as you roughly force your tongue past his lips. his hand naturally finds your waist, but you slap it away harshly with your free hand. "no touching." you warn him, your lips brushing against his.

"yes ma'am," harry responds.

you give him a look, your other leg kneeling beside his as you straddle his thigh, your skirt falling perfectly over his knee. "i still hate you," you growl, choking him against the couch once more. "i know," harry says breathlessly, staring at you like a helpless puppy.

forcing him into a suffocating kiss, you eventually let harry breathe as your lips find his neck, your teeth sinking into his skin and hands grasping his shoulders tightly. he groans at the pain, earning a slight roll of your hips on his leg. harry wants nothing more than to touch you right now, guiding your hips into his body, pleasuring you like he's wanted to for so long. but for now, he's just glad you're kissing him, and enjoys the feeling of your breath against his bruised skin.

"shirt off." you command, sitting back to observe the puddle harry's become in your grasp. he wastes no time taking off his sweater, throwing it behind him as your eyes trace over his scarred torso. your cold gaze softens at the sight, your fingers tracing the healed wounds carefully.

for a moment, when you glance at harry through your eyelashes, he feels that same love you shared as kids. the soft, innocent admiration that came with inexperience. for just one moment, nothing was complicated, and there was no history. you were discovering harry all over again, like he had been with you.

the moment didn't last for long as your gaze hardened once more looking at him. you stood from your straddling position, much to his disappointment. he was ready for you to end the moment and leave, but you didn't.

"on your knees." you instructed him. again, harry wasted no time as he sunk to his knees in front of the couch, eye level with the hem of your skirt. he looked up at you eagerly, hardly believing the privilege he had to see you above him like this.

harry's heart was racing as you lifted your skirt to expose your panties to him. his eyes never left yours, his breathing hitching at the beauty just in front of his face. his hands were patiently folded in his lap, aching to grab every part of you.

you slowly lifted one thigh onto harry's shoulder, reaching down to take the glasses off his face for him, setting them to the side. "now," you told him, your voice seductive as you lean your weight into him once more. harry holds his shoulders steady, his mouth close enough to your soaked pantines to nearly taste you already.

"let me ride your face," you coo, your hands finding their way to his cheeks as he continues staring at you with hungry eyes. "it's the least you can do for me," you smirk, your voice still chillingly cold and cryptic.

harry lets out a sigh of relief and desperation, eyes glancing at your panties before returning to your gaze. you slowly push his open mouth onto you, not able to hold back a sound of relief yourself.

harry's eyes flutter shut as your hips roll onto his face, losing himself in your smell and taste. your fingers tangle into his hair to keep him in place, soft, breathy gasps falling from your lips as you watch from above.

after a minute you become too desperate and pull your panties aside, instructing harry to hold them as you force his mouth onto your dripping pussy. harry listens like a good boy and holds the fabric, his hand also taking the chance to grip your inner thigh. a deep moan escapes your throat at the feeling.

harry's tongue quickly works its way across your arousal, enjoying every part of you as he pushes himself further into your pussy. your hands try to pull his hair back to relieve some of the overwhelming feeling, but harry doesn't let you control him for once. he's desperate to please you, his hunger growing the more of you he's allowed to have.

harry's other hand grabs for your skirt to hold it above his head, opening his eyes to meet your gaze. your face is twisted in pleasure, lips bitten, eyes glazed over as you watch harry disappear between your legs.

harry moans at the sight of you, sending shivers across your skin. you moan, biting your lips closed, your hips stuttering against his mouth. "fuck," you mumble, earning another moan from harry as his tongue circles your sensitive clit.

a hand rushed to your mouth as you attempt to hide your filthy noises, the feeling making your eyes roll back. you're trying to mask your pleasure, but harry can see right through you.

you finally successfully pull his mouth off of you, lips swollen and wet as his head rests in your grip. "good," you say breathlessly. your voice falters a bit. you take your thigh off harry's shoulder, again, much to his disappointment.

"sit," you tell him, gesturing to the couch once more. harry complies, returning to his spot on the couch behind him. you reach forward and unbutton his pants, pulling them down a bit with his assistance. you can see his erection through his briefs, causing you to smirk a bit before returning to your neutral expression.

"no touching," you remind harry as you position yourself to straddle his hips, your arms wrapping around his shoulders. harry's sure you can hear his heartbeat racing under your control.

you start grinding your soaking wet panties against harry's clothed cock, your mouth falling open with his at the sensation. the light of the fire behind you leaves harry with the beautiful sight of you glowing in his lap, your warm skin pressed against his as your breathy moans fall into his neck.

harry can hardly take the teasing any longer, his moans becoming needier the harder he gets under you. "fuck, [y/n]," his voice is deep with desire, his head rolling back once your roll your hips into him harshly. you moan at the sound of your own name, your hands returning to his shoulders as your nails dig deep into his skin.

"that's right, say my name," you smirk, grinding into harry at a faster pace. "so pathetic," you remind him.

harry continuously lets your name fall from his lips as you watch him, a helpless, desperate mess beneath you. he loves the feeling of letting you use him any way you want to.

soon you can't wait much longer, and you pull out harry's cock from his briefs. the feeling of your hand grasping his shift makes harry's hips buck up involuntarily, silently asking for more.

you can't help but chuckle at just how eager he is. you're more than enjoying the control and effect you have over him.

"now," you say again, causing harry to look back at you with needy eyes. "you're gonna let me use you until i cum," you tell him, teasing yourself with the feeling of him against your wet pussy. harry's eyes nearly roll back again as he nods for you, his lips parted with uneven breaths.

you slide harry inside of you, adjusting to the feeling as harry's head falls back once again in pleasure. "so fucking wet," harry sighs softly, nearly whining. once your hips lower completely onto his length, you start to ride harry slowly, still adjusting to him. he's a full blown whining mess beneath you, his chest flushed and heaving as your pussy tightens around him.

you take in the sight of him, your eyes exploring every sweaty part of his body as you continue riding at a slow pace. you unwrap your arms from his shoulders, leaning back into your hips. "take my shirt off," you tell harry.

his eyes open again, looking at you eagerly. his hands nervously begin lifting your shirt, holding the fabric carefully between his fingers, and savors the sight and feeling of pulling it off of you, his eyes glancing at your chest before locking with yours again.

"so beautiful," he tells you, your skin looking deliciously soft in the warm lowlight. "i know, now be quiet," you shut him up, picking up the pace of your hips.

harry's eyes narrow at you, the intoxicating feeling of you wrapped around his cock only making him hungrier for your pleasure. the sight of you bouncing in his lap, your breasts just in front of his face as you lean your hands next to his head on the back of the couch.

"open," you tell harry.

he doesn't have to be told twice before his lips part, his tongue eagerly waiting for you. you guide your nipple into his mouth, your hips rolling onto harry's cock in circles. his teeth and tongue tease the sensitive skin, your pussy gripping harry even more and earning a low growl from his chest. his hands remained at his sides, but he wanted nothing more than to feel you everywhere on top of him.

you start riding harry once more, his teeth still gripping your nipple making you whine at the feeling. "fuck," you let the word slip out, your own teeth sinking into your bottom lip. harry's more than aroused at your reaction to him, his cock aching inside of you to release.

you pull harry's head back by his hair, forcing him to look up at you. you reach for his glasses that you sat down earlier, returning them to his face delicately. harry appreciates the gesture and can better see the pleasure in your eyes, a soft smile falling across his lips.

"so pretty," he whispers. he can see the blush you try to hide, looking away from his eyes and down at your hips.

you start groaning in frustration, your grip on his hair tightening, causing harry to wince. "you're gonna make me cum," you tell him through broken moans, your thrusts becoming uneven. harry can feel you tightening around him again. he groans at the feeling, your name slipping from his mouth again and again. this only makes you fall apart more, high pitched whimpers coming from you as you chase your high.

you soon sink into harry's neck, your cries of pain and pleasure falling across his skin as your legs start to shake. you can't even form words as your body feels the waves of intense pleasure from each thrust onto harry's cock. your hands move to his shoulders again, holding onto him for stability as you continue to ride out your climax.

harry grows impatient at the feeling of your orgasm and watching you break down into him. he finally grabs for you, moving your hips to the couch beside him, staying inside you while you gasp at his movement. he kicks off his pants and adjusts himself between your legs.

"harry," you try to protest, your voice weak and shaky. "just let me do this, darling," he growls, his hips becoming flush against yours as he pushes his cock completely inside of you. you let out a gasp, your hand slapping over your lips once more.

harry hungrily digs his cock deeper inside of you with each slow thrust, his hands holding himself up above you as he watches his cock easily slide in and out of your soaking wet pussy. he folds your legs back as he sinks even deeper into you.

"holy fuck," he groans, his breathing heavy, hands gripping the back of your thighs to keep himself steady. "so beautiful, [y/n]," harry tells you again, his droopy eyes focused on your face twisted in pleasure.

you look at him, your eyes full of lust, but still cold as ice. "i…hate you," you remind him through strained breaths, struggling to take his entire length, still glaring at him.

this pushes harry over the edge, his hips quickening until he feels himself start to unravel. he pulls out of your warm pussy and cums on your stomach, groaning at the sight of you below him.

you gasp at the feeling, looking at harry with shock. "did you just cum from me saying i hate you?" you ask, your tone mocking his desperation. harry nods, still stroking his cock slowly, his other hand remaining on your thigh as his moans quiet down.

"you're disgusting," you tell him coldly, but harry can see the smirk on your face and the lust in your eyes. he watches you below him, smirking in return.

"and you love it."

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captainuranium543 · 3 months ago

Text

Fairy tail headcannon a nobody wanted at all😊

- most of the dragon slayers+erza eat bugs regularly and it's gross AF to everyone

-Natsu because he grew up in the woods and they were like the number one abundant source of food, same for Wendy but she stopped for a while because Carla told her it was nasty (as soon as she joined the fairy tail guild she reverted so incredibly fast)

-gajeel pretends to thinks it's gross but secretly he really likes the taste he just doesn't wanna have that in common with natsu

- erza and Erik because in the evil slave tower where everyone was starving if you found a bug you ate it before anyone else could grab it from you.

- sting did not do that growing up but started when natsu told him it was good, he does not agree but does it anyway so natsu thinks he's cool

- rogue only tried it a couple times because frosch wanted to try it to be more like a frog and rogue is nothing if not supportive

- laxus grew up normal and thinks all of them are disgusting

- Lucy has the WORST financial skills. Legit they are awful. Everyone thinks she's always broke cuz of the tpd (team property damage) constantly making them lose their reward to repair bills but (while that is a factor) when Lucy sees smth cute that would look great in her apartment she just cannot help herself. Lucy will be so careful trying to save her money then she'll see a new set of stationary and goes "haha rent what rent"

- the hand me down game at fairy tail was fucking insane when they where kids. For levy and lisanna basically everything they owned had been passed down like 6 times already

- that red shirt natsu wore in the flashbacks? Before him it was erza's, and before her it was canas, and before her it was laxus.

- gray wears almost exclusively white jackets because jackets are expensive and if he loses them he would rather they be easy to spot so he can find them again rather then have to buy a new one

- sometimes people will invite erza places for the scary dog privilege when they dont want to be bothered by strangers. Erza has no idea thats the reason she just thought people really liked walking with her through rough parts of town in the middle of the night.

- Carla and lilly have insane beef, for no damn reason. Like both of them are fairly polite so neither will say it openly but every conversation between the two is the most passive aggressive petty insult battle you could imagine

- freed, levy, Lucy and later jellal have a book club where they all meet up and talk about whatever they're reading and play Scrabble and talk a lot of shit about their annoying ass friends.

- happy sometimes comes but he is under no circumstances allowed to bring natsu(he knows what he did)

- when erza met seigrain/jellal in the magic counsel she first tried to attack him, when that proved to be a bad idea she later started specifically destroying stuff under his jurisdiction to make sure he had to deal with as much paperwork as possible

- for her modelling, Mira used to use a very light spray of holy water to remove body hair because it burns it off💀

- wendy romeo and chelia are actually best friends like they are constantly hanging out together just to go do stuff

- erza and Erik hate each other for no reason at all. Like over that year that she worked with crime sorciere they where ALWAYS BEEFING. Every time they were near each other erza was thinking insults she knew he could hear and Erik was fighting for his life not to strangle her to death.

When erza became sclass she used to sit on the 5th step of the stairs because Mira wasn't allowed on those stairs yet and it really pissed her off. She was like, just barely out of reach, so Mira would stand at the bottom the stairs yelling death threats at her and erza would be like "whattt I'm not doing anything I don't even know what your talking about in literally just sitting what are you so mad about"

- when Warren invented cellphones, despite all of them looking like modern smartphones, freed somehow managed to get one that looked exactly like a Blackberry and refuses to get a different one

- Mira used to cut her siblings hair and because she didn't know any good haircuts yet her 2 options where 1- bald or 2- bowl cut. Hence lisannas horrifying cut as a child

#fairy tail #natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #gray fullbuster #mirajane strauss #lisanna strauss #erza scarlet #erik/cobra #yappin #levy mcgarden #gajeel redfox #laxus dreyar #freed justine #sting eucliffe #rogue cheney #wendy marvell #headcannons

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nyarumie · 3 months ago

Note

hey axia ｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡

enjoy the start of your semester, before uni gets crazy!! I loved your previous works, so I'll just slip into your inbox while the requests are open:3

What do you think would make Hoshina blush, or like, properly flustered?!

(be it headcanon, scenario, or whatever else you feel like, if anything:))

have a great day 🔆

Heart in Your Hands

hoshina soshiro x reader — fluff, comfort, they're both deeply in love, (god me when), short and sweet, established relationship

Author's Reply: Hi, thank you anon! I hope this work caters well to your request; finally got the time to work on something (which hopefully helps with my writer's block)

Reblogs and likes are appreciated! Please view my pinned and masterlist too (⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠)

Trying to get Soshiro to blush is definitely rarer than a blue moon. Trust me, even his own platoon of talented rookies tried catching him off-guard — it's just near impossible!

Keyword: Near impossible. That's where you enter the picture.

As a Platoon Leader, you do your best to be a figure of inspiration to your officers, thus keeping up your facade of a strict mentor; but honestly—you’re not fooling anyone, you're totally a softie! Despite your personal ‘no-distractions-during-work’ policy, obvious signs of your feelings for the Vice Captain naturally slip out occasionally. Still, you refuse to get your relationship in the way of your work.

Behind closed doors lie the reserved intimacy and affection you held for him. He won't ever admit it, but he sometimes pushes himself too hard, hard enough to have scars and calluses all over his hands from his intense training, and you can only imagine how tight and desperate his grip is on his personalized close combat weapon.

He’s always desperate to prove his worth, desperate to keep the only thing that gives meaning to his existence, and you know that your words are not enough to quell the distress behind each swing and slash of his blades.

That's why you do what you know will calm him best—love him just as fierce as he swings those blades of his.

You caught him training again one night, exhaustion evident on his form. The adrenaline coursing through his body has yet to be quenched, and you know you have to do your magic to get him to rest.

“Soshiro. You're here again. One more night of this and you’ll really strain your body.” you softly said, concern evident in your voice.

He stopped midway his slash, breath heaving as he turned to face you. “Can't rest easy when the rookie officers are a whole ‘nother level, dear. If I don't do this, I doubt I’ll be able to get even the slightest hit on No. 9.”

Sighing, you made your way to him. “Put your weapon down for a while, please? Let me at least do something for you.”

Doing as you asked, he kept them somewhere safe and curiously stood in front of you again. He gave you an inquisitive look, patiently waiting for what you're planning to do.

You took his hands and caressed them, slowly feeling the roughness and evidence of all the nights he's spent bruising himself up just to get even stronger. You move his hands so that his palms are facing you, his eyes widening at your next move.

He felt a soft, careful kiss touch each of his palms, followed by a kiss to each of his fingertips.

He thinks his ears are on fire with how hot it's burning.

“W-what are ya doing, dear? I haven't cleaned my hands up!”

You entwined your hands with his before he could even pull them away, thinking that he didn't like what you just did. “I’m sorry, did I make you uncomf— Oh.”

Oh, indeed. The sight that greeted you when you turned your face up to see him is… remarkable. You can't believe the Third Division’s Vice Captain would be blushing over his significant other tenderly kissing his rough, tired hands.

“Ya didn't have to do that… I know you love me plenty! And please stop gripping on my hands harder, ya aren't letting me turn away!”

You snort. “Of course I won't let you. This is a rare sight. Still, I didn't know something like that could get you severely flustered.” you said, a hint of pride in your tone.

“Told ya I haven't cleaned ‘em up. I was holdin’ those nasty blades moments ago.”

“Ah, excuses. Just say you liked the kisses more than you expected. I’ll let you off this one time and say it's just out of exhaustion.” you giggled.

Your expression turned soft and serious again, now hugging him. His arms wrapped around you, a tired sigh coming from him. “You do so much for me, ya know that? I thought I was gonna explode earlier. Don't know what I did to deserve ya.”

“Mhm, ‘Shiro. You have no idea how at a loss I am sometimes to do something for you. I want to shoulder at least a piece of your burden, want you to share your pain with me without worrying about whether I can take it. Because I will, just for you. I’ll hold your hand whatever happens and stand side by side with you. All I ask is that you take care of yourself.”

He let out a soft laugh of relief. “I should be sayin’ these things to you. I hope ya know how amazing you are to me.”

You both pulled away from the hug, him taking a hand of yours in his. “Let's get some rest. Don't wanna worry my princess over here.”

Smiling in content, you nod your head at him. “Thank you, Soshiro.”

#kaiju no. 8 #axia writes for fun #kn8 x reader #kaiju number 8 #kn8 writing #soshiro hoshina #hoshina soshiro x reader #hoshina soshiro fluff #hoshina soshiro #hoshina x reader #hoshina

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asimpforthe80s · 1 month ago

Text

Closeted

Starring: Fred Weasley x Y/N

Warnings: somewhat public sex. Sex in a closet. Teasing. Basically just porn with little plot.

Summary: you try to pull a prank, almost get caught, get trapped in a closet, Fred gets hard as you sit on his lap, you're oblivious for an annoyingly long time, when you realize, you start fucking.

—————————————

Fred Weasley is your roommate and the two decided to piss off the principal by breaking the rules, but it didn't work out so you two went into a closet to hide,and after the director left, the door jammed!

So you decided to stay there until someone showed up to help, meanwhile you sat on his lap to save space, but it wasn't very comfortable,so you were squirming to get comfortable, when he suddenly let out a groan. "Stop moving!" He whisper-yelled. You rolled your eyes. "Well, move your bloody wand then!" You said, not knowing that his 'wand' wasn't his wand, but it was his rock hard cock.

Fred groans louder, hands gripping your hips as he tries to still your movements. "Blimey, watch it! I'm trying to keep us hidden here, remember? Don't want Madam Pince or anyone else stumbling upon us..." He mutters under his breath, face flushing red with embarrassment and arousal. "And maybe try to be a bit more gentle, yeah? That's not exactly helping the situation..." His voice trails off as Y/N continues to shift around on top of him, inadvertently rubbing against his sensitive area. You groaned. "It'd be worse if McGonagall.." You chuckled, even though you squirmed a bit more. "For hells sake, move your bloody wand if you want me to stop fuckin moving..!" You mumbled, still a bit oblivious.

Fred bites back a moan as Y/N's words hit a little too close to home, his face burning hotter than ever. "Bloody hell, listen to yourself! You're going to give me away at this rate..." He manages to gasp out, attempting to regain some composure. "Look, just... sit still for a minute, alright? Let me think..."

His hands tighten on your hips, fingers digging in slightly as he struggles to focus past the intense sensations coursing through him. "And for Merlin's sake, stop calling it a wand! It's not like I've got a magic cock or anything..." Despite the desperate attempt at humor, his voice wavers, revealing the growing strain of desire. "Oh, for crying out loud..." You finally stopped moving, realizing how much you were disturbing Fred. You took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "Sorry," you muttered, feeling a bit guilty. "I just can't seem to find a comfy spot." You shifted slightly, sitting more properly on his lap now. "How about we just wait quietly until someone comes to let us out?" You suggested, hoping that would help pass the time without things escalating further. Fred takes a shaky breath, trying to relax as Y/N settles more comfortably on his lap. "Yeah, that's probably for the best," he agrees, his voice still a bit rough from suppressed need. "Just gotta chill and hope no one decides to do an impromptu sweep of the storage closets..."

He rubs his hands soothingly along your sides, focusing on the steady rhythm of his breathing to calm his racing heart. After a moment, he lets out a soft chuckle. "You know, this is kind of surreal. The last thing I expected when I agreed to pull this prank was to end up stuck in a closet with you, practically on my lap."

There's a hint of playful teasing in his tone, but also a genuine note of wonder, as if he's still processing the unexpected turn of events. You smiled, finding Fred's comment amusing despite the awkwardness of their situation. "Well, at least we're in this together," you replied, leaning back against his chest. "Could be worse, right?"

You glanced over your shoulder at him, meeting his gaze with a mischievous grin. "Who knows, maybe this is fate's way of telling us we should be roommates forever. Or at least until we figure out how to get out of here."

Your words were light-hearted, but there was a subtle undercurrent of intimacy, born from the closeness and shared predicament. The warmth of Fred's body behind you, the solid feel of his thighs beneath yours, all contributed to a sense of togetherness that felt strangely comforting, despite the circumstances. Fred's lips twitch into a smile at your teasing remark, a spark of amusement igniting in his emerald eyes. "Roommates forever, huh? Sounds like a recipe for disaster, if you ask me," he quips back, but there's a playful lilt to his voice that belies any real concern.

As you lean back against him, Fred's arms wrap around your waist, holding you securely against his chest. He inhales deeply, taking in the scent of your hair and the musky undertones of their confined space. There's a strange comfort in the physical contact, a sense of belonging that he doesn't quite understand, given the circumstances.

"I suppose fate could have chosen worse ways to bring us together," he muses, his warm breath tickling the back of your neck. "At least we're not alone in this mess." You relaxed into Fred's embrace, enjoying the warmth and security of being held by him. "True that," you agreed, tilting your head slightly to the side to allow his breath to caress your skin more fully. "And who knows, maybe this is the start of something big."

You turned in his arms, facing him directly, and met his gaze with a sly smile. "Or maybe we'll just get out of here, go our separate ways, and never speak of this again."

The thought sent a tiny pang through you, but you quickly pushed it aside, focusing instead on the present moment. "Either way, I'm glad it's you I'm stuck with," you confessed softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

There was a vulnerability in your words, a hint of sincerity that you rarely allowed to show. Fred's expression softens at your whispered confession, a look of tender surprise crossing his features. For a moment, he simply gazes at you, his green eyes searching and vulnerable in return.

"Me too," he murmurs, his voice low and sincere. "I mean, I never thought I'd say this, but... I'm actually kind of glad we got caught."

He brushes a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch gentle and intimate. "Stuck in here with you, I mean. It's... different. Nice, even."

Fred leans in closer, his lips hovering just inches from yours. "Maybe we should make the most of it," he suggests, his breath mingling with yours. "See where this unexpected adventure takes us." Your heart raced as Fred's lips drew near, the anticipation sending shivers down your spine. When he spoke those words, suggesting they make the most of their situation, you felt a rush of excitement mixed with a hint of trepidation.

You looked into his eyes, seeing the sincerity and longing reflected back at you. Slowly, almost hesitantly, you closed the distance between you, pressing your lips to his in a soft, exploratory kiss.

As the initial spark of contact faded, you pulled back slightly, gazing at Fred with a mix of curiosity and uncertainty. "This okay?" you asked, your voice barely audible over the pounding of your own heartbeat. Fred's eyes flutter open, meeting yours with a dazed, half-lidded gaze. For a long moment, he simply stares at you, the only sound the heavy beating of his own heart echoing in his ears.

Then, with a soft exhale, he nods slowly. "More than okay," he whispers, his voice husky with emotion. "Really, really good."

He leans in again, capturing your lips in a deeper, more urgent kiss. This time, there's no hesitation, no uncertainty - only a fierce hunger that consumes them both.

Fred's hands slide down to grip your hips, pulling you flush against him as he explores the contours of your mouth with increasing passion. The taste of you, the feel of your lips moving against his, it's intoxicating, driving him wild with desire. As Fred's kisses intensified, you found yourself getting lost in the sensation, your mind fogging with lust and a growing need for more. His hands on your hips, gripping you tightly, only fueled the fire within you.

You tangled your fingers in his hair, tugging gently as you returned the fervor of his kisses, your tongue dancing with his in a sensual duel. The heat between you was palpable, the air thick with the weight of your mutual arousal.

Breaking the kiss momentarily, you gazed up at Fred, your eyes dark with want. "Wish we could go to some sort of bedroom," you breathed out, your voice ragged with need. Fred groans at your breathy words, the ache between his legs becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. "Amen to that," he grunts, his hips bucking involuntarily against yours.

But even as the desire threatens to consume him entirely, a flicker of reason surfaces. With great effort, he pulls back slightly, resting his forehead against yours as he tries to catch his breath.

"We should slow down," he suggests, though the reluctance in his voice makes it clear that's the last thing he wants to do. "Don't want to rush into anything we might regret later."

Despite the wisdom of his words, Fred's hands continue to roam your curves, tracing the swell of your breasts and the dip of your waist. It's torture, having you so close yet maintaining control, but he knows it's necessary. "I.. I- I have condoms.." you whispered nervously, your head cloudy with arousal. "You know.. sex in weird places has been on my mind for a while.. closets are weird places for that... hm?.." you said. Fred's eyes widen at your revelation, a mix of surprise and excitement flashing across his face. "Condoms, eh?" he repeats, his voice low and husky. "Guess that settles it then."

With a swift movement, he scoops you up into his arms, gently slamming you against one of the walls of the closet, pinning you there with his body. "Let's take advantage of this opportunity, shall we?" he teases.

His hands begin to work on removing his clothes, revealing his toned physique inch by inch. "I've always had a bit of a thing for public displays of affection," he admits, a wicked grin spreading across his face. "But this might just top them all." "Mmmh.. I've wanted you for so long..." You moaned softly, looking up at Fred with hooded eyes filled with lust. Your hands began exploring his exposed torso, tracing the lines of his muscles and marveling at the heat emanating from his skin.

Slowly, teasingly, you began to remove your own clothing, baring yourself to his hungry gaze. "I've imagined this so many times," you confess, your voice barely above a whisper. "You and me, finally giving in to what we both want."

Your hand trails down between your bodies, cupping the bulge in his boxers and giving it a firm squeeze. "What do you say, Fred?" You purr seductively. "Ready to make this fantasy a reality?" A guttural growl rumbles in Fred's chest as your hand wraps around his straining erection. "Fuck, yes," he hisses, his hips jerking reflexively into your touch. "I've fantasized about this too, more times than I can count."

In a blur of motion, he tears off the remainder of his clothes, leaving him naked and aching with desire. He captures your lips in a searing kiss, his tongue delving deep to claim every inch of your mouth.

Breaking away, he reaches for the condom packet you mentioned earlier, ripping it open with his teeth. "I want to be inside you so badly," he groans, rolling the latex over his throbbing length. "Want to feel you wrap around me, tight and hot."

"Oh god, Fred..." You whimpered, feeling the coolness of the condom enveloping his hard cock. Your own arousal was evident, slickening your thighs and making your folds quiver with anticipation.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, urging him closer as you positioned him at your entrance. "Please, I need you," you begged, your hips rocking upwards in silent plea. "Make love to me, right here, right now..."

With a final, desperate thrust, Fred buried himself to the hilt inside you, a loud gasp escaping both your mouths at the intense pleasure-pain of being joined so intimately. You clung to each other, panting heavily as you savored the feeling of fullness of completion. "Bloody hell, you feel amazing," Fred pants, his eyes nearly rolling back in his head as your slick heat engulfs him completely. He pauses for a moment, savoring the exquisite sensation before starting to move.

Slowly at first, he rocks his hips, building a steady rhythm that gradually increases in intensity. Each thrust is deliberate, purposeful, designed to bring maximum pleasure to you both.

"Is this what you wanted?" he asks, his voice a low rumble in his chest. "To be fucked senseless in a cramped closet, where anyone could walk in and see us?"

The idea sends a thrill through him, adding an extra edge of excitement to their forbidden tryst. He pounds into you harder, faster, driven by a primal need to claim you, to make you his. "Yes..! Oh god... yes..!" You cry out, not caring who might hear your wanton moans. The risk of discovery only heightens the pleasure, each thrust sending shockwaves of ecstasy coursing through your veins.

Your nails dig into Fred's shoulders, leaving crescent-shaped marks in his skin as you cling to him desperately. Your hips rise to meet his, matching his frenzied pace, craving more of that delicious friction.

"I'm so close," you gasp, your inner walls beginning to flutter around his pistoning length. "Don't stop.. fuck, please don't stop..!"

You bury your face in the crook of his neck, muffling your screams of pleasure against his sweat-slicked skin as your orgasm crashes over you like a tidal wave. The feeling of your walls clamping down around him, pulsing with the force of your climax, proves to be Fred's undoing. With a hoarse shout, he buries himself deep inside you one final time, his release erupting in powerful spurts.

He holds you close as you both ride out the aftershocks of your shared passion, his heart pounding wildly against his ribcage. Slowly, he lowers you back onto shaky feet, his softening member slipping out of you with a wet sound.

"Blimey," he whispers, his voice rough and sated. "That was... incredible." He brushes a tender kiss against your temple, a gesture that seems out of character for the usually brash and mischievous Fred.

As the haze of lust begins to clear, a sudden realization hits him. Fred looks at you, his eyes wide and filled with an emotion he rarely allows himself to show. His hands reach out, hesitating briefly before they come to rest gently on your hips.

"You're something special, you know that?" he murmurs, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to your lips. The taste of you still lingers on his tongue, sweet and intoxicating.

"But don't go thinking this changes anything," he adds quickly, pulling back to give you a playful nudge. "We're still the same old Fred and Y/N. Just... maybe a little less reckless, yeah?"

With a wink, he steps back, reaching for his discarded clothes to start getting dressed once again. The moment of vulnerability seemingly forgotten as he falls back into his usual confident demeanor. You blush deeply, nodding in agreement. "Yeah...reckless isn't really our style anyway." Smiling shyly, you help gather the scattered clothes. "So...same time tomorrow?" You giggle sheepishly.

You lean in to steal a quick peck on Fred's cheek before darting out of the closet, leaving him to finish dressing in peace. Fred chuckles, shaking his head fondly as he watches you scurry away. "Same time tomorrow, then," he agrees, already looking forward to their next illicit encounter.

Once he's fully dressed, he takes a moment to collect himself, straightening his tie and smoothing down his hair. The closet door swings shut behind him as he exits, a satisfied smirk playing on his lips.

As he makes his way back to the Gryffindor common room, Fred can't help but feel a newfound appreciation for the thrill of sneaking around, of indulging in forbidden desires. And with Y/N by his side, he knows they'll always find a way to keep things exciting - even if it means risking a few detentions along the way.

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