#but the logical lesson and the practical one are not things that can be learned at the same time

[redwinewhiteroses]

When is it going to happen? ⏳️

With this reading you can get an idea about when the situation on your mind is going to take place. It could be about any situation, and you can choose multiple groups for different situations/questions you may have.

I'm not too sure of timing related tarot readings because life is ever-changing. The situations that are lined up in your life right now will lead you to the expected outcome in some time, but if you change certain things in your situation after getting this reading, the timing could change significantly to be earlier or be delayed, so please be mindful of that.

But still a reading like this is reassuring and helpful in many ways, so I decided to make this. Tarot gives accurate predictions, it's just that life is never constant.

*These are just probable estimations of time.*

WOODLAND

Nine months for most of you.

For some of you, this situation could be unrealistic or this won't happen according to your wishes.

If it happens, it won't be as satisfactory as you thought it would be.

For very few of you, this situation you are asking about may not happen at all. This is bound to fail.

There's a few possibilities here, so please take only what resonates with you and your specific situation.

TIGER EYE

When you accept it, that is when this is going to happen.

When you stop holding back and when you truly tap into your inner strength.

When you take control and when you are confident of your strength and capability.

When you are true to yourself. When you allow yourself to shine.

Leo season could be relevant. So late July until late August.

CRYSTAL

Seven weeks.

When you start being strategic or when you become cunning and secretive, this situation will happen.

For some of you, this could be something you have to do without revealing your plans to anyone. You will have to keep to yourself if this situation is to happen well.

You will have to grab a chance or be well aware of your opportunities for this to happen.

One or many of these could be relevant to you.

RUBY

It will happen soon and you can be sure of that.

Once you look into the past, do some self-reflection and learn the lessons.

Right after you achieve a significant milestone in your journey.

The more success you unlock, the more you evolve and the more connected you are to the higher power and consciousness.

Any of these could be the timing for you.

GARNET

Three months.

When you collaborate with others.

When you are involved with community, friends or an emotional support group.

When you are together with people, socialising and having fun.

During a wedding, party, festival, event or celebration of some kind.

When you are happy and connected with others.

One or few of these could be relevant to you.

AMETHYST

This will take a few seasons or many months to happen.

For some of you, this could take a few years.

During or after Winter.

Capricorn season - December to January.

When Spring is here.

When you choose to be down-to-earth, mature and wise in living life.

When you take solid advice that a woman in your life has already given you or is ready to give you if you choose to ask them.

This could be about finances for some, if so, when you work hard and take responsibility but at the same time you should take good care of yourself. Stay grounded and heal from within.

Once you create a healthy and stable home environment. When your house is a home.

When you are secure and comfortable and aligned with your femininity or masculinity.

One or few of these messages might be for you.

SODALITE

This situation is almost done.

Through the help of a male figure, someone who is stronger, authoritative and powerful and he might be able to make this happen for you.

Or when you take control, when you take charge unapologetically and with force.

When you are motivated, practical, logical and even ruthless. When you lead and overcome, when you plan and do it well.

One or few of these messages can be relevant for you.

I'm thinking of this song. So maybe use it to make this happen.

CANVAS

Six months or Ten months. Within this time period or after.

The past could be relevant for this to happen.

Family, siblings or childhood friends will have a say in this situation.

When you nourish and protect your inner child.

Once you make peace with the past.

When you are open to receiving with absolute joy and without expectations. When you are grateful for everything you receive.

Because of children or childbirth.

When you embrace your roots, find comfort in your family, hug them, love them and just accept them.

When a marriage happens. After a long term commitment takes place.

When your life is filled with love and emotional fulfillment.

This will happen with a lot of love, joy and emotional fulfillment. That's for sure!

One of few of these could resonate with your situation, maybe all of the above.

DRUZY

This can happen during autumn. Months of October and November can be significant.

If not, this will take a few months to happen.

A loving male can help you with this situation, or with his blessings this situation will take place.

Cancer, Pisces or Scorpio seasons. So June, July, February, March, April, late October or November.

When you are understanding of your circumstances, and when you are calm and composed.

When you honour your mind, body and soul.

When you are more spiritual and embody peace.

Once you let go of the need to be dramatic, impulsive or dominating. When you disengage yourself from futile situations.

One or few of these could be the answer for you.

DRIFTWOOD

Around five months.

For some of you, this might not happen, or it will cause you some sadness once it happens.

Once you process the feelings of loss.

This won't work out for some of you, but don't be discouraged.

MACA

This will happen quite soon. Within days or weeks at most.

Yeah, it is happening! IT IS COMING FOR YOU, FOLLOWING YOU haha. Run if you want to lol, but this is going to happen soon, and that too with a blast.

Sagittarius season/November and December can be important.

When you get things done and move forward, this will happen.

Dare to do, you know!

For some of you, when you make a big move or change direction.

When you travel, explore and choose adventure.

Almost all of these could be relevant for the situation you are asking about.

EARTH

It cannot be said just yet.

Cannot be seen or understood. Not every aspect of this is revealed.

On a full moon day. At night.

This situation could require shadow work or the subconscious.

The occult or mystic powers will have a say in this situation.

Your dreams will say when this is going to happen.

This situation will be waxing and waning. It isn't linear, it just goes on and on.

I don't really know, maybe you shouldn't either.

HEMATITE

One day. It will probably happen today or tomorrow.

When you take initiative or grab the new opportunity.

It's on you, really.

SAPPHIRE

Eight years.

Eight seasons or two years.

Eight chapters of life will have to happen before this can take place.

When you stay committed and work with dedication. When you are locked in and consistent with great discipline.

Within one week or after that week.

Once you start making a conscious choice even if you fear making the wrong choice.

When you are focussed. When you remove fears and stop holding onto the past.

When you stop being scared of this.

It will happen whenever it is ready. Spontaneous and free to happen, probably cannot be influenced or manipulated.

There's multiple timings here. One could be true for you, or maybe none at all.

INDIGO

Weeks or months.

Libra season so, September and October can be relevant.

When you stop holding onto the trauma and the bitterness of life.

When you let go of the past, once and for all.

OBSIDIAN

Three days.

When you travel. Maybe foreign travel or through exploring something.

It is just on the horizon, you only have to wait a little longer.

Nine days.

Hold on a little longer even if you are exhausted. Even if you are at your limit, this situation can happen because the Universe is here for you.

The more you believe, actively manifest and be hopeful, the sooner it will happen.

The Universe is listening.

When you are gentle with yourself and at peace.

Days are most likely. I have a feeling that your faith is what should be stronger for this to happen.

[monster-noises]

I'm really hoping I can get some work done today but the mouse in the wheel that powers my brain is not up and running so I think I may have to go for a walk, given that it's already 2:30pm this does not bode well for said work getting done but I'd rather take a nice walk and feel alert at least a little bit than sit at my desk for several hours feeling the slow dark slide down into the abyss while still not getting any work done and also probably developing a gnaaarly headache. Doesn't help that I'm kinda stuck for what to work on, cause I want to do this illustration project but it's Kicking my Ass still and I realized last night, while mopping about my seeming inability to build an audience, that hey, maybe if I try being more Vocal and Engaging with my Projects by say like.... Actually describing them and telling people details about them. I might attract a bit more attention? So now I kinda want to make some short kinda introduction thing for Dragon's Daughter but also I'm in like a Huge Stress-induced Depression Mud Pit and the thought of making promotional materials feels silly and pointless and like Who Cares? No One Is Interested, Has Ever Been Interested Or Will Become Interested so like.... Don't Bother? And that's Not True but like even if that Was true I should probably try anyway, even if just a little bit... It may have some affect like, who knows? So I think I should go for a walk to shake this stinkin thinkin out the ol' bitinkin by which I mean Brain. My tags got cut off so I'm adding them to the post instead

So maybe making a little introductory graphic will help Dragon's Daughter pick up some steam, maybe it'll drum up some interest and excitement and make people want to know about it and engage with it and be excited for it to come out, maybe it'll make people want to keep tabs on it or ask questions. Or maybe it won't. And my funny little slide show will settle gently like any other unique but functionally identical snowflake on the top of the pile. Unnoticed but as part of the larger whole of Art Posted On The Internet. Only really one way to find out. Though that doesn't make it feel any less silly and pointless to do anyways.. Just have to swallow that and try anyway.

[incognit0slut]

Lesson learned

PART 3 OF KINKTOBER | MAIN MASTERLIST

Unit Chief!Spencer x BAU!Reader Your boss decides to teach you a lesson when you question the motivations behind a certain case.

Content: (18+) 6k, breath play, fingering, a little case description, BDSM discussion, softdom Spence but borderlines to dom because hello this is breath play and reader being judgy judgy but don’t worry he’s here to teach you a lesson or two a/n: The initial plan was to make him a hard dom but breathplay is already overwhelming so I decided to go the educational route. I am, by all means, not as smart as him, so there might be some inaccuracy

You would think that after joining the BAU for two years, you’d start to understand the twisted logic of a criminal’s mind. But you don’t. Not really. You’ve dissected motives, uncovered patterns, and profiled suspects more times than you can count, and yet this case makes no sense. 

Your eyes go over the photographs pinned to the board again. And again. And again. It’s become almost a ritual now, like maybe if you look at it just one more time, the pieces might finally fall into place. But all you find staring back at you are three victims with the same marks on their necks. There was clearly a sign of struggle, but not one of fear. Not one that fits any pattern you know.

“I don’t get it,” you say. “The profile suggests the victims knew their attacker, but this doesn’t look like anything close to rage. Or brutality.”

Spencer shifts beside you, his shoulder brushing lightly against yours as he leans closer to the board. “It might not have been an act of violence,” he observes thoughtfully. “Not in the traditional sense, anyway.”

You furrow your brow. “If it wasn’t violent, then what was it?”

“The bruising pattern is too symmetrical, and there’s no sign of panic or defensive wounds on their hands. I think there’s a chance the victims might have willingly participated.”

“Willingly?” Your eyes snap at him. “What do you mean, ‘willingly participated’? No one willingly gets strangled.”

He meets your eyes for a second before looking back at the board. “I know it sounds unlikely,” he admits, “but not impossible. See how the bruises are evenly spaced? They wrap around in perfect circles. The pressure is distributed just enough to leave a mark but not to crush the windpipe.“

“Spencer, that’s exactly what happened. The windpipe was crushed.”

“Yes, but not immediately. That’s the point.” He turns towards you again. “The intention wasn’t to kill them outright. The unsub wanted to bring them to the point of unconsciousness but not over it. At least, not at first. He was counting on their trust before pushing it too far.”

You let out a huff. “That’s insane.”

“It might seem that way to you, but it’s not unheard of. Sexual asphyxiation is a consensual act for some people. The lack of oxygen when someone’s airflow is restricted can trigger a euphoric sensation which intensifies pleasure."

You stare at him like he’s just spoken a different language. “So, you're saying they get off on... not breathing?”

“More like they find excitement in giving up that control."

You cross your arms and study him, tilting your head with a skeptical frown. “How do you even know this?”

The corner of his mouth twitches in a half-smile. “I read,” he says simply, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“You have a book on sexual asphyxiation?”

“It’s more comprehensive than that. The book covers a wide range of kinks, fetishes, and other forms of sexual exploration which are considered extreme by societal standards.”

"You’re telling me you read up on BDSM practices in your spare time?”

"I think of it as research,” he replies. “It’s part of understanding human behavior. You can’t afford to be ignorant about the complexities of people's desires."

"Huh." Your eyes travel back to the images again. "You know, I still don't understand. I mean, willingly letting someone cut off your breath? That’s not just trust that’s… I don’t know, crazy?”

His eyes narrow towards you as if he's carefully considering how much to say.

“It's not crazy,” he insists carefully. “For people who engage in it, it’s not only about losing control. It’s about reaching a heightened state of awareness, finding excitement in walking that line.”

"But what if that line gets crossed? What then? How could anyone think that sounds… fun?”

“Well, have you ever tried it?”

“Of course not!” you reply quickly, almost laughing at the absurdity. “Why would I?”

“Then you wouldn’t know,” he counters, his tone calm but pointed, like he’s presenting a fact rather than an opinion. “You can’t really understand the mindset until you’ve experienced it. It’s not something you can fully grasp from the outside.”

"I don’t think I could ever trust someone enough to do that to me."

“Maybe you just haven’t found the right person to trust.”

You scoff. “What? Are you offering?”

You laugh at your own joke, and you expected him to do the same. Or perhaps a quick “Of course not”, even some rambling about how he didn’t mean it that way. But when all you’re met with is silence, your laughter dies down, and your eyes dart back to him.

Spencer’s not looking at you, his eyes are fixed on the photographs pinned to the board. He’s studying the bruises, the faces, the details like he always does, but there’s a stillness in his expression, a tension in the set of his jaw that makes you think he’s considering something else entirely. And for a moment, you’re not sure if he’s really thinking about the victims or the case at all.

Maybe you shouldn’t joke about things like that. He is your boss, after all, and even though there isn’t exactly a strict superior-subordinate dynamic between the two of you—he’s always been more of a peer than an authority figure—you wonder if maybe this time you crossed a line.

Spencer’s eyes remain on the photos for a long, agonizing second, and you think maybe he’s not going to respond at all. But then, slowly, he turns his head and looks at you, and the room suddenly feels impossibly small.

“If I were to offer,” he says quietly, “Would you take it?”

His words knock the breath from your lungs, and all you can do is stare back at him. You don’t know what to make of the question. Was it a dare? A test? Or perhaps something more?

There’s a part of you that wants to laugh it off. The conversation was absurd to begin with, so brushing it away like it’s nothing would feel like the safest option. The easy way out. But there’s another part—one you don’t want to acknowledge—that can’t help but wonder what it would mean to say yes.

What if you did? you ponder.

What would it feel like to trust someone like that?

What would it feel like to trust him?

But before you can reply, the door to the meeting room creaks open, the noise echoing through the dimly lit space of the police precinct. A uniformed officer pokes his head inside.

“Dr. Reid, we found a new lead on the vehicle.”

Spencer’s eyes stay locked on yours for just a beat longer as your heart hammers in your chest. Then, without a word, he nods to the officer, and any trace of whatever passed between you dissolves like it never happened at all.

The next few days turn into a blur. The lead on the unsub’s vehicle takes you across town, a chase that ends with the suspect cornered in an abandoned old house. It’s almost anticlimactic how quickly it all happens—sirens blaring, doors kicked in, and in less than an hour, the unsub is in handcuffs. The case is finally closed, and it’s the kind of victory that usually brings a sigh of relief.

But today, you can’t find that peace.

Back at the precinct, the rest of the team has already moved on to debriefing. You’re left cleaning up the mess of photographs and notes scattered across the table. But your movements are slow, distracted, your fingers fumbling over the papers. There’s a prickling awareness that makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end, and you know exactly why.

It’s because Spencer is watching you. You don’t even need to look to feel the weight of his gaze. He’s leaning casually against the doorframe, hands tucked in his pockets, but there’s nothing casual about the way his eyes track your movements.

You pause, photos in hand, and finally address him. “What?”

He doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he pushes off the wall and starts walking toward you. He stops just short of arm’s length.

“Have you thought about what we discussed the other day?”

You feel a rush of embarrassment, and the awkwardness of the moment makes you shift uncomfortably. Clearing your throat, you turn your attention back to the table, hastily grabbing a stack of photographs and shuffling them into a folder.

“We didn’t discuss anything,” you mumble, avoiding his gaze. “It was just a joke.”

“Was it? You don’t joke about things like that unless you’ve thought about them at least a little.”

You let out a dry laugh, keeping your eyes firmly on the table. “I wasn’t being serious. We were in the middle of a case, and we were all exhausted. I just said whatever came to mind.”

Spencer tilts his head, the way he does when he’s analyzing something, his eyes flickering over your face as though he’s cataloging every twitch of your expression.

“Maybe,” he concedes, and takes another step forward. “But the offer wasn’t a joke, and you didn’t say no.”

Your fingers freeze over the photographs, the papers crinkling under your touch.

“I didn’t say yes either.”

You mentally wince at how weak that sounds, almost as if you’re trying to convince yourself. You slowly look up at him, searching his face for any sign of hesitation, but all you find are those intense brown eyes staring back at you.

It unnerves you how calm he is, how easily he’s holding this conversation when your mind is spinning in a million directions.

“You do realize what you’re offering?” you start to press, feeling the need to put it out in the open. “What this means?”

Spencer doesn’t flinch, doesn’t break eye contact for a second. “I do.”

“Do you? Because it seems to me like you might be taking this too lightly."

“I’m not taking it lightly. I’m acknowledging that there’s more to it than what you’re seeing on the surface.”

“And what makes you think I want to see beyond the surface?”

He leans in closer. Close enough to feel the warmth of his breath, but not enough to cross any boundaries. “I’m offering a perspective, not forcing you to accept it. Understanding doesn’t always come from reading about something. It comes from experience.”

You can’t quite decide if his words make sense or if they’re completely absurd. It’s like he’s challenging your logic, your assumptions, but at the same time, there’s a strange clarity to what he’s saying.

“Why does it matter so much to you?”

Because he’s your boss? Because someone in his position always tries to make sense of everything for everyone else?

“Because shaming people for their interests, for something they might find pleasure in… it isn’t fair, and it isn’t right.”

Now that was something you didn’t expect him to say.

“I wasn’t shaming,” you protest quickly, the words coming out defensive even to your own ears. “I was just…”

“Curious,” he finishes for you. “And curiosity isn’t a flaw. Neither is wanting to understand, and if you’re willing to explore that curiosity, then I’d rather you experience it in a way that’s safe. That you know is controlled.”

“So what?” you snap back. “You want to prove me wrong? Show me I’ve been looking at this the wrong way?”

A small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, but it’s not playful. It’s gentle, almost thoughtful, as if he’s carefully weighing each word. “No,” he says softly. “I don’t want to prove you wrong. I want to teach you.”

You blink at him. You open your mouth, but nothing comes out at first, the words tangled somewhere between shock and disbelief. It takes a few seconds until you manage to find your voice.

“You… want to teach me?”

“A lesson, if you will,” he explains, and the way he says it—so calm, so certain—makes your heart stutter. “Not to prove you wrong, but to help you understand. You have your perceptions about… control and trust. I think the only way to really understand is to experience it yourself.”

You don’t know what to say, what to do, and all that comes out is a shaky, barely-there laugh.

“A lesson,” you repeat, trying to make sense of the concept.

He nods, and there’s no pressure in his voice, just an offer. Simple and clear. “But only if it’s what you want.”

You aren’t sure what to feel, much less what to say, and the uncertainty must show on your face. Sensing your hesitation, Spencer takes a step back, giving you space.

“It’s a lot to consider, and I’m not expecting an answer now. But the offer still stands… whenever you’re ready.”

And with that, he gives you one last smile and turns away, leaving you alone with your conflicted thoughts.

You’re pacing in your hotel room, your footsteps muffled by the worn carpet as you make the same path back and forth over and over again. Every time you try to sit down, your leg bounces with restless energy, so you’re back up again, moving without purpose but unable to stop.

You tell yourself it’s just stress. The case, the pressure, the weirdness of being in a small-town motel with creaky walls and awful lighting. But you know better. You know exactly what’s got your mind spinning and your stomach doing flips.

Spencer. And his damn offer.

You scoff to yourself, trying to laugh it off like you always do, but the joke doesn’t land when it’s just you, alone with your thoughts. And, really, what’s the harm in admitting the truth—to yourself, at least? That maybe the whole concept doesn’t seem as insane as it did a few days ago. That maybe you’ve found yourself wondering what it would feel like to trust someone that much.

You stop pacing, staring at your reflection in the mirror across the room. There it is, that nagging curiosity, that flicker of intrigue that Spencer saw before you even knew it was there. You let out a sigh, the weight of the realization hitting you.

God help you, but you’re actually curious.

And that might just be the scariest part of all.

You slip into your shoes and take a deep breath before stepping into the hallway. The motel’s quiet, most of the rooms dark as you walk past, and for a moment you hesitate, wondering if this is a mistake. The team’s staying one more night here, the last bit of downtime before flying back tomorrow. A chance to decompress, to shake off the adrenaline of the case. Yet here you are, anything but relaxed, heading out because you can’t stand one more second of pacing back and forth.

Your footsteps come to a stop outside Spencer’s room, and you stare at the numbers on the plaque for a moment. You could turn around right now. You could pretend you didn’t walk all the way down the corridor with his words echoing in your head. But as much as you try to convince yourself that walking away is the logical choice, your hand moves on its own, and you knock.

Spencer doesn’t look surprised when he opens the door. Without waiting for an invitation, you push past him, barging into the room before you change your mind.

“If we’re going to do this, I have some ground rules,” you blurt out, the words rushing out all at once. “I don’t know what you think this is going to be like, but I need control over some things. Non-negotiable.”

He closes the door with a soft click. “Of course,” he responds calmly. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

“First,” you say, spinning around to face him. “I’m in control of when this starts and when it stops. If I say no, then we stop. Immediately. No questions, no convincing, none of that.”

“Absolutely.”

“Second, I need to know exactly what we’re doing. No surprises. You explain everything to me before we do anything.”

He quickly nods.

“And third… this doesn’t leave this room. We don’t talk about it to anyone else. Not tomorrow, not next week, not ever.”

He takes a step forward towards you. “This stays between us.”

You let out a shaky breath, the adrenaline settling into a nervous, thrumming pulse beneath your skin. “Okay,” you mumble, more to yourself than to him, trying to process the reality of what you’ve just laid out. “Those are my rules.”

Spencer takes another step forward, close enough now that you can smell the faintest trace of him. A mix of something clean and warm, like soap and worn cotton, an understated scent that’s distinctly him.

“Then those are the rules we follow,” he reassures you. “Your terms. Your pace.”

“Thank you.”

He nods his head again. “Is there anything else you want to discuss?”

There is, actually. There’s a question that’s been hovering in the back of your mind. It feels awkward to say out loud, but the uncertainty gnaws at you, and finally, you force the words out.

“Are we… are we going to have sex?”

He holds your gaze. “Do you want to have sex?”

You go quiet again, letting the silence settle around you as you think about what you want, what you came here for. You slowly shake your head. “No,” you reply. “No, I don’t.”

“Then we won’t. There’s more to explore in this than just sex.”

“Right, that’s—good.” You clear your throat. “I have… one more question.”

He gestures for you to continue.

“You’re not going to fire me for this, are you?”

His soft chuckle fills your ear, and it’s the first time you’ve seen him genuinely smile tonight. “No,” he confirms, amusement flickering in his eyes. “I’m not going to fire you. Whatever happens between us won’t affect your work, I promise.”

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, feeling a little of the weight lift off your shoulders.

“Okay, so… now what?”

“Now,” he says gently, “We take it slow.“

He guides you toward the edge of the bed, and you find yourself moving automatically, sitting down on the mattress. The bed creaks slightly as he settles beside you.

“If we’re going to do this,” he starts, turning slightly to face you. “I want you to be comfortable. And that means talking. You can start by telling me what you’re thinking. ”

“That’s… it? We’re just going to talk?”

Spencer’s mouth lifts into a soft smile. “Yes,” he confirms, “If that’s what you want. There’s no pressure to do anything else.”

The idea of just talking feels safe, but there’s also a flicker of curiosity that you can’t quite shake. You shift on the bed.

“What if I want to do something more?”

Spencer’s eyes search yours, and he doesn’t move closer, doesn’t do anything that could make the moment feel rushed. “If you want to, then we can. Something simple to start.”

Your fingers trace the fabric of the bedspread. “Like what?”

“Something small. It could be as simple as letting me guide your breathing. A way to practice trust without anything overwhelming.”

You swallow, the idea feeling both intimidating and oddly… reassuring. There’s comfort in the way he talks about it, the lack of pressure, and the way he makes it feel like there’s nothing to fear.

“Okay,” you agree softly. “Let’s try that.”

He moves a little closer to you. “We’ll take it slow,” he promises. “Try to focus on your breathing and follow my lead.”

You close your eyes, feeling your breath shallow and quick, your heart racing as you try to find a steady rhythm.

“Take a deep breath,” he instructs softly. You inhale deeply, feeling the air fill your lungs, and when you open your eyes for a moment, you find his face inches from yours.

“Good. Now let it out… slowly.”

You follow his lead, exhaling, and you can’t help but notice he’s mirroring your breathing—his chest rising and falling in time with yours. It’s oddly comforting, and a little unnerving, like he's syncing with the rhythm of your pulse.

“Again,” he guides. “Deep breath in… hold for a count of three… then let it go.”

You do as he says, feeling your nerves steady slightly with each breath. In, hold, out.

“You’re doing really well,” he murmurs, leaning just a fraction closer. His lips are so close that you can feel his breath brushing your skin. “I’m going to ask you something, but I need you to know you can say no. At any point.”

You nod, not trusting yourself to speak.

“Can I touch you?” he asks gently, his words so soft they almost melt into the air around you. “Just on your shoulder, or your hand. I want to see how you feel about being touched while you focus on your breathing.”

Your heartbeat thuds in your ears, but you manage another nod. His hand moves carefully to rest on your shoulder, but even with the light pressure, you feel your body stiffen. Spencer notices immediately.

“You’re tense,” he observes, his thumb brushing lightly against your shoulder.

You let out a small laugh, one that comes out more like a nervous exhale than anything close to amusement. “It’s kind of hard not to be,” you admit. “I guess I’m a little nervous.”

“That’s okay. It’s completely normal to feel nervous.” He pauses for a second before continuing, his tone thoughtful, like he’s considering what might actually help. "There are a few things that can help when you’re feeling this way. One of them is focusing on your breathing, which we’re already doing. But there’s also physical touch."

"Physical touch?”

"Kissing, for example," he explains, “can actually help regulate your nervous system. It releases oxytocin, lowers cortisol levels. Basically, it signals your body to relax."

Your eyes fall on his lips. "Really?"

A flicker of a smile plays at the corners of his mouth. “Yes, but it’s only helpful if it’s something you feel comfortable with.” He tilts his head slightly, studying you. “Would you like to try?”

You meet his gaze again and, before you can overthink it, find yourself nodding, swallowing the nervous lump in your throat. “Yeah… okay. We can try.”

Before you even finish the sentence, Spencer leans in, his lips brushing yours with the kind of gentleness that catches you off guard. It's soft at first, like he’s testing the waters, and you can feel the slight hesitation in his movements as if he’s making sure you’re comfortable. It’s sweet, almost too sweet, and for a second, you wonder if this is how he kisses—gentle, thoughtful, deliberate.

But as the kiss deepens, you feel the warmth of him pulling you in. Your heart’s doing this erratic thing where it skips every other beat, and your mind’s racing to catch up with what your body’s already starting to enjoy. And sure, maybe the science behind this kiss makes sense after all, because there’s a part of you that’s actually relaxing, even with the buzz of nerves still humming beneath the surface.

Then he pulls back, just enough for your lips to barely part, his breath warm against your skin. “How are you feeling?”

It takes three heartbeats to find your voice. “Uh... yeah, good,” you manage, a little breathless, a little more flustered than you’d like to admit.

“Do you want to keep going?”

You pause, thinking it over, and despite the swarm of nerves in your chest, curiosity wins out again. You nod, maybe a little too quickly. The moment you do, Spencer leans in again, and this time his kiss is deeper, more intent. The softness is still there, but there’s a quiet intensity in the way his lips move against yours, the way his hand lightly cups the back of your neck.

Then his tongue brushes lightly against your lower lip, and a ripple of goosebumps spreads across your skin. You part your lips for him, and the sensation of his tongue slipping past m has you gripping the fabric of his shirt a little tighter.

Just when you think you’re getting used to it, his hand shifts, sliding up to wrap gently around the front of your neck. Not tight, not restricting—just enough to make you aware of it. The warmth of his palm against your throat sends a jolt of something sharp right through you. He seems to notice instantly, and without pulling his hand away, he breaks the kiss.

“Are you okay?” His thumb gently strokes the side of your neck. “I don’t want to push you, if it’s too much—”

But before he can finish, you shake your head quickly, surprising even yourself with how fast the words leave your mouth. “No, I… trust you.”

His eyes soften at your words, and his grip on your neck stays gentle, almost protective. “Would it be okay if I touched you more?”

Your pulse beats rapidly beneath his fingers, a rhythm you’re sure he can feel, as if your heart is answering for you. “…yes.”

“Do you want to lie down? Would that be more comfortable?”

You feel the heat travel along your veins. “I think… that would be good.”

Spencer nods as he helps you shift back onto the pillow. He stays close but doesn’t crowd you, his hand returning to rest lightly on your neck, that same soft pressure that keeps your heartbeat thrumming in your ears.

“Remember, focus on your breathing,” he reminds you. “The way your body responds is tied to how much you let yourself feel. Trust that.”

His other hand begins to move. His hand trails up toward your shoulder, then lightly brushes over your breast. It’s barely a touch at first, like he’s testing the boundaries, waiting for your body to tell him how far to go. Your breath catches for a second, but when you don’t tense up, he takes that as a sign to continue.

“Is this alright?”

“Yeah,” you manage to whisper, your voice a little breathless than you expected. And, God, you mean it. It’s more than okay—it’s… unexpectedly good in a way that feels almost too intimate to think about.

His hand moves lower now, tracing a path down your side, before sliding gently across your leg. You don’t even realize you’re holding your breath until you feel his fingers brush against the inside of your thigh.

“How about this?”

You nod, biting your lip as you meet his gaze.

Spencer’s lips curls into the faintest smile. His hand inches higher, moving up your thigh with excruciating slowness until his fingers finally reach the heat between your legs.

Oh. Oh.

Your hips instinctively tilt toward him, your body responding before your mind can even catch up. The heat pooling low in your belly intensifies as his fingers press lightly against you.

“Still with me?”

You nod, but internally, your mind is spinning. He begins to move in slow, circular motions, his fingers dragging against the fabric in a way that makes you bite back a moan. The friction sends jolts of pleasure through you, and you can feel your arousal sticking uncomfortably to your panties. It doesn’t shock you—you know understand how being touched like this will make you wet—but what surprises you is how much more intense it feels when his grip around your neck tightens.

Your breath hitches, and before you can stop yourself, a moan escapes your lips.

He pauses for a moment, his grip relaxing just enough for you to catch your breath. “I want you to feel the difference,” he explains. “The pressure changes everything. It makes you more aware of every sensation, more focused on how your body responds. But if it’s too much, you tell me, okay?”

You nod, your breath still coming in uneven gasps. “I’m good.”

His thumb traces the outline of your jaw. “Do you want me to continue?”

“…yeah.”

His hand travels towards your hips, fingers toying with the waistband of your pants. “Should we get rid of these?”

You don’t have to think about it for long. The answer is already there.

“You can take them off.”

Spencer’s fingers slip beneath the waistband of your pants before tugging it down. But as the fabric pools around your ankles, you hesitate for a second before your hand instinctively reaches for your shirt. You fumble with the hem, glancing at him as you pull it halfway up, your breath coming out in a small, awkward laugh.

“I mean, it’d feel weird to be naked from the waist down and still… you know, fully dressed on top.”

His eyes linger on you, and his reaction is subtly amusing. “Whatever makes you comfortable.”

Without thinking too much about it, you tug the shirt over your head, tossing it aside. Your bra follows, quickly joined by your panties, and before you know it, you’re lying naked on your boss’s bed.

Or, technically, the bed he’s been sleeping on these past couple of days.

Spencer’s eyes move over you slowly, lingering on the curve of your perky breasts, your smooth skin, and the unmistakable wetness between your thighs. His gaze is careful, appreciative but never lingering too long in one place, like he’s taking you in while still giving you space to breathe.

“You’re so pretty.”

Pretty? The word feels almost quaint given the situation, but the way he says it makes it feel like it’s more than that. Like he’s seeing all of you, the parts you don’t often reveal, and he still thinks you’re beautiful.

And somehow, that simple compliment leaves you more exposed than the fact that you’re lying naked in front of him.

“I can’t believe we're doing this,” you admit, the words slipping out before you can stop them.

His hand brushes along your arm. “You don’t have to overthink it. You’re in control here. We can stop whenever you want.”

“I know.”

He tilts your head with his hand. “Is this okay so far?”

You offer him a smile. “It’s okay.”

His other hand lands on your knee. “Can you spread your legs for me?”

You feel the nerves buzzing beneath your skin, but there’s also a warmth, a curiosity, a pull toward him. You inhale deeply, letting the breath steady your nerves, and then, without letting your mind spiral any further, you slowly part your legs.

His palm glides along your inner thigh, and then he touches you again, only this time, there’s no barrier between you. You can feel the rough pad of his fingertips as they gently caress your folds that it pulls a sharp breath from your lips.

“Does this feel good?”

You nod. It’s more than just good—it’s everything. The way he’s paying attention to every inch of your body is overwhelming in the best way. His fingers trace a slow path along your skin, finally pausing as they brush against you between your folds. Without hesitation, Spencer slides a finger inside you. The sudden stretch pulls a gasp from your lips.

The slick wetness between your thighs coats his fingers almost instantly, and you feel yourself responding to him, opening up in ways you didn’t even know you could. He studies the way his finger moves in and out of your cunt, and the more he touches you, the more your hips begin to move on their own.

He takes your response as a sign to continue.

"I'm going to wrap my hand around your neck again," he tells you, without waiting for more than a slight nod of your head, his fingers curl around your throat.

"The pressure here," he begins, his thumb lightly pressing at the side of your neck. "Isn't just about cutting off your air, it also means restricting blood flow to your brain.”

He pushes another finger inside you, and the increased fullness draws a sharp intake of breath from you.

“By limiting the blood flow like this,” he continues, applying a bit more pressure around your throat. "It triggers your body to release adrenaline and dopamine. That rush you’re feeling? It’s your body chasing euphoria."

Euphoria. You never really thought about it like this before, how something so controlled could unlock a part of your body that felt so overwhelming. The feeling isn’t just pleasure, it’s a raw intensity that borders on something deeper as your cunt clenches around him. Your breath stutters, caught in a sharp contrast between the slow burn in your throat and the urgent heat flaring between your legs.

He’s unraveling you, pulling you apart thread by thread, yet leaving you desperate for the moment he puts you back together again.

You need more.

“You’re doing so well,” he murmurs soothingly. The words send a new wave of heat rushing through your body. Your hips move restlessly, and you can hear the soft whine escaping your throat, growing louder with each thrust.

Spencer notices immediately, his fingers slowing just for a moment. “Too much?”

You quickly shake your head, almost frantic, the last thing you want is for him to stop. The moment you do, his grip on your throat tightens slightly and your eyes flutter closed as a wave of euphoria washes over you. Head falling back against the pillows, your vision starts to blur. You feel the air restrict in your throat.

“I need you to breathe for me, sweetheart.” His thumb strokes lightly against your neck. “The more you control your breathing, the better it’ll feel.”

That word alone almost undoes you. It rolls off his tongue like it’s meant to be soft and soothing, but instead, it sends a bolt of pleasure straight through you. Your chest rises and falls as you do exactly what he says, because apparently, being called sweetheart with his fingers wrapped around your neck makes you want to obey him, more than you’d care to admit.

"That’s it, keep focusing on your breathing."

You force your eyes open, but everything feels hazy, unfocused. You’re not sure if it's from the lack of air or the way he’s looking at you, but you can feel yourself losing control. Your eyes flutter half-closed again, lips parting in a breathless moan, and before you realize it, your tongue slips out, barely grazing your lower lip.

Spencer knows you’re close. His thumb presses just a little harder against your throat, not enough to stop you from breathing, but enough for your inner walls to grip his fingers tightly.

“I know, I know, I've got you,” he whispers. “You’re doing so good, sweetheart. Just let go whenever you’re ready."

You can’t decide if the sound of his voice is making it easier or harder to hold on. There’s a brief moment where you think you might hold it together, but then your body betrays you. Your muscles tense, your breath catches in your throat, and all the control you had slips away in an instant. It’s as if your brain is giving in to exactly what he said it would—a surge of chemicals that makes your limbs feel heavy and light all at once.

Your orgasm slams right into you, the most intense thing you’ve ever felt. It floods your senses so completely that your lungs struggle to catch up. The tremors rack your body, and it’s only when your legs give a final, uncontrollable shake that he finally releases your neck, allowing the air to rush back into your lungs in a dizzying, breathless moment of relief.

Before you can fully recover, his lips are on yours in an instant. He moves against your neck, kissing the very spot where his hand had held you. “Shhh, it’s okay, you’re okay.”

When you manage to catch your breath and blink through the lingering haze, he lies down on the bed and pulls you into his arms. It takes a whole minute before your breathing fully steadies, his hand stroking your hair the entire time.

“How are you feeling?”

You don’t know what to make of it all, so you laugh breathlessly instead, the only response you can muster.

“Like I’m about to pass out.”

“What?” He looks at you in alarm. “You are?”

You shake your head quickly, offering him a small smile. “No, no, I’m fine. It’s just… it was really intense.” But the worry doesn’t completely leave his face, so you try again, placing your hand on his chest. “Good intense. I’m okay, I promise.”

He lets out a slow breath and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “So I take it you liked it?”

A flush of embarrassment washes over you, and you can’t quite meet his eyes as you nod. “Yeah… I did,” you admit, your voice soft, almost sheepish. “Go ahead, you can gloat. Tell me I was wrong.”

Instead of taking the bait, he gently traces his fingers along your neck. “It was never about proving you wrong. The judgment you made that day, about not getting why someone would like this… it’s hard to fully grasp until you feel it yourself.”

“I wasn’t judging,” you murmur, feeling a need to defend yourself.

“Maybe not intentionally,” he says thoughtfully. “When it comes to BDSM, there’s a lot of misunderstanding or assumptions people make from the outside, it’s really more than just control or pain. There’s trust, communication, boundaries. And I think, in a way, that’s what happened tonight. You trusted me enough to let go.”

You’re quiet for a moment, processing what he’s saying. “Are you suggesting I could be into all of this?”

“Not necessarily,” he replies carefully. “But I think it’s possible that there’s more to it than you realize. You trusted me tonight, and that’s the most important part. That’s where it all starts.”

You chew on his words for a second. It’s not something you’d ever considered before, but now that he’s brought it up, you can’t deny that the thought has sparked something.

“So you think I might want to explore this further?”

His lips curl into a soft smile. “It’s not about what I think. It’s about what you want. If you’re curious, then we can explore it together.” He leans in slightly. “Is that you want?”

The spark you felt moments ago? It flickers stronger now. The idea is both thrilling and terrifying, but with him, it feels… possible. Safe, even.

You feel a tightness in your chest.

“I think… maybe, yeah.”

His smile deepens just a fraction. “We’ll take our time,” he reassures you, his thumb brushing lightly over your throat. “We can talk about this when we get back. You need to rest for now.”

You shift closer to him, feeling the rustle of his clothes against your bare skin. “Can I stay here tonight?”

His chin lands on top of your head. “You can stay with me as long as you want.”

What a dangerous offer, you think as you sink further into his arms. But not as dangerous as the way your heart flutters at the thought.

[adhd-fandom-hyperfocus]

✧₊⁺ Little Secret✧₊⁺

Pairing: Roboute Guilliman x Reader(f)

part 2

Arthur's Note: Guilliman has a new serf and she isn't taking his bullshit. The Imperium held on with less for 10k years. Man will stop and take care of himself. I am also finishing higher than hel.

Warnings: General Grimdarkness.

+18 Minors DNI

★。------ ＼｜／------。★

He could smell the food and hear you humming a little diddy down the hall; his gaze looked over at the clock, was it that time already? His stomach growled, which surprised him. That was not something his body did, ever.

Roboute smiled as he put the documents aside, you have gone and spoiled him is what happened. Not that he minded, your cooking was one of the few things he looked forward to in this new millennium. It was hardy and rustic, but bursting with flavor.

It was a home-cooked meal. It was real food.

When you open the door and greet him with your warm smile, the room feels a bit brighter. And now that the scent of his lunch filled the air around him, his mouth watered. Roboute wondered how you did it. He knew full well how much food it took to nourish him, which was why he was content to eat, or swallow the paste and other types of gruel. It was efficient and practical. But you didn't care about those things. At least not in this sense. Complained it lacked heart and care. That no man or woman could function eating such boring tasteless things.

"Good afternoon Mister Guilliman!" you say with that bright smile, "Time to let the Imperium wait so you can eat."

Guilliman chuckles gesturing to the cleared spot on his desk, "I have learned my lesson." he teased.

The first time he refused to eat properly you did something that triggered a long-buried fear. You slipped off your sandal and threatened to beat him with it should he not eat his meals. When tried to argue about what he wrote in his codex, his own logic was turned against him in righteous fury. That the codex should be a guideline, and more importantly you argued he was simply wrong.

Roboute realized you were not a woman to fight with. He knew what a woman could do with a sandal. Even thinking about it now gave him a chill down his spine.

He takes the platter from you and eyes the food. Large cuts of meat mixed with apples and peaches, clearly slowly cooked together to make the harmonious scent that he had been enthralled by. Heaping side of potatoes smashed, but hand by the looks and some of the freshest bread he'd seen in a while.

How lonely and depressed was he that looking at this meal, made by someone whose duty was to serve him, made his heartache? Surely if you were not his serf you wouldn't be this caring. If he wasn't what he was...

No, he refused to believe that. He'd seen you fixing socks and scolding his men, mothering them, some grumbled, but he could tell they enjoyed it. Someone looking out for them in a gentler manner.

"Hope you like it. It's something my momma used to make. Generally, it's for supper, but you need more meat on you. Can't find a Mister or Missus Guilliman looking half corpse half god."

Roboute felt his cheeks flare up, and his throat get tangled with the air in it. There was so much in that comment he wanted to unpack and he didn't know where to start. A rarity for the primarch.

"Mister or Missus'?" he asked with far more inflection of shock than he would have liked.

You nodded, "Yes, Momma always said we love who we love. Maybe you aren't so big on the ladies, maybe you are, Maybe you like both? Not my place to judge."

Guilliman felt genuine shock. So casually talking about him marrying like he was just another man. That such simple aspects of life were his to have. Even if marrying was something he thought on, and found himself wanting, he couldn't. Not in the current state of things. He was viewed basically as a god; a son of a god. No marriage would be from love, but pure disgusting lust and fantastical eroticism. It made him ill thinking about it.

"No, I mean think you for your openness, but I mean just the married part. How would I find someone who doesn't see me as.." a tool, a stepping stone, a thing, "well as anything but the son of a god?"

You shrug, "Well, that I don't right know, just a serf after all. But I am sure we could find someone with that big brain of yours and my baseline human charm!"

What if he didn't want someone else, he thought suddenly. He had you. You joked with him, talked to him about boring dull things like weather. You asked if he had hobbies outside governing. Fed him food, real food! Not just that, food your mother made! You shared basic things all took for granted or didn't see the importance of.

Why did he need anyone else?

He let out a small chuckle, not wanting to focus on the thoughts that just came to him. They were terrifying.

"I am sure you're right."

You patted his arm, "Well, I must be off Mister Guilliman. I have work to do, I am afraid I cannot sit and chat while you eat."

Roboute frowned. That was the other reason these extra meal breaks meant so much to him. You would sit and chat with him, about things not world-ending. What was so important you couldn't stay and talk to him?

"What work? Did I give you orders while half asleep last night? If so disregard them." Roboute replied before tearing into the bread.

Throne, it was warm and soft with a harder exterior, and clearly made this morning. You spoiled him, and he wish he didn't like it.

"Oh no! It is a little surprise I am working on. No worries Mister Guilliman you will be the first to see it when I am done. It is a surprise for you after all." You reply happily.

Something for him? He didn't like surprises. Hated them some might say. He couldn't work theoreticals and practicals when he wasn't aware of what something was. Couldn't plan for what he didn't know. But you looked so happy about this little secret! And you should be, as he had no idea you were working on anything.

Perhaps this surprise he would allow. He trusted you. Even if he was feeling moody over you not spending this break with him.

"Very well," he did his best to not look like he was pouting. Thorne was he pouting?! Roboute Guilliman did not pout! "I do hope dinner will be as normal?"

You perk up and smile, "Of course! I found a baby bird I wish to tell you about! Oh and we need to talk about your sons bathing! They stink!"

Guilliman snorted between large bites of food. Food this good would be considered heretical by the Inquisition he was sure. Mostly because he figured they thought all things good were heresy.

Satisfied he would have your ear tonight, and you his, you made your way out of the office and moved through the corridors. The fortress was in the cold mountains, and not ideal conditions for things to grow, but he was seldom down in the Capital. He was either in Hera or on Terra. It wasn't easy she convinced some of his sons to help her make this gift. There outside the fortress a small greenhouse. Well, small to Astartes and Primarchs. It had been so hard to keep this from Guilliman, and the strings pulled, but it would be worth it.

It was no Agi world Iax, where you overheard Guilliman talking to Lion about how he really did wish he could have retired there to farm, but perhaps a nice little garden would suffice.

[crystallilytarot]

This is for people who are in a relationship or a situationship, or have a crush

Choose a random jewelry! Are they The One?

Pile 1

This can be a beautiful relationship and it can grow rather quickly. Maybe other people think that it's naivity to be in a relationship so fast after you met, or it's too soon to move in together etc. But you just know that it's the right thing to do. One person can be a little more practical, logical, the other is more emotional, but you will complete each other well. You can be soulmates.

Pile 2

You are very attracted to each other sexually, and it's very strong, but maybe in other areas you aren't a good match actually. The 2nd option is that you can be a good couple, but you should focus more on the emotions and bonding, not just your chemistry. But I feel more that you both need to learn, grow, maybe heal, and only after you can be good for each other. It's possible that you will even brake up and reconnect later.

Pile 3

This feels a little bit karmic. You need to learn something from each other, a life lesson. But even if one person try to do everything for the relationship, the other person is not ready. It's no one's fault, but there's just too much difference, you don't want the same things. So even if there's emotions, this could only work out hard, and you suck out each other's energy.

[dailyadventureprompts]

Deity: Boccob, the God of Magic for Magic's Sake

Artsource

It is strange (especially for those who view their relationship with the gods as transactional) that one might offer up prayers to a figure known widely by the epithet " The Uncaring". Why perform oath and ritual for a being that will not intercede on your behalf? Or grant you good favour in exchange for your sacrifices? Those that study the words of Boccob understand they have no need to beg for miracles when they have magic at their command.

Known to commoners as a god of magic, foresight, and balance, Boccob is not so much a deity as he was a great teacher, a philosopher-sage who's now ancient treatise on magic and council on it's use are as much an object of faith for many as a more ordinary god's scripture. In instructing his students how to be wizards, Boccob taught his students how to be good wizards, and these lessons form the ironshod foundations of innumerable magical traditions practised to this day.

Central to Boccob's teachings was the idea that magic was a path that must be walked to gain greater understanding, and that an adherent of this path should study, experience, and witness as much of its wonders as possible in order to become better arcanists, leading to the adoption of the open and unjudging eye as his symbol. Boccob himself followed this path to the outer planes and beyond, never to be seen again, leading many to credit Boccob with being the first mortal to climb the fabled infinite staircase, or perhaps even its architect.

Adventure Hooks:

Millennia after his (literal or figurative) ascension, a scroll containing hitherto unseen passages of Boccob's writings have been discovered in a crumbling library, setting off a disastrous chain of events as jealous archmages scrabble for the text like seagulls after a frenchfry. Their clashes are frequent, leaving the surrounding area scattered with hastily summoned servitors and all manner of misfired magic. Perhaps if the party is quick and clever they could sneak in and take the text for themselves, learning its wisdom or using it as a bargaining chip with one of these powerful spellslingers.

If it’s one thing Boccob’s Acolytes like almost as much as uncovering the arcane secrets of the universe, it’s proving their intellectual superiority by hiding their findings behind inscrutable riddles and logic games, the way The Uncaring did for his first pupils. Ledoran’s Labynthical Libram is an infamous example of this practice, a spellbook containing all manner of useful rituals and genuinely brilliant insights hidden behind a gauntlet of ciphers, mazes, and "gotcha" enchantments. Any self styled master of the arcane is likely to have a copy on their shelves, meaning that' it's only a quick looting spree away from ending up in the party's possession.

If "a wizard did it" is the answer to the age old question of "how?", "because they were listening to Boccob?" is the answer to the inevitable follow up of "why". Arcane crossbreeds, inexplicable puzzle dungeons, magical items amounting to bad jokes with bodycounts, all of these are created by The Uncaring's followers as a means of testing and expanding their abilities.

More of my adventures involving Boccob and his followers can be found HERE

Lets get into some philosophy...

While Ioun promotes the study of arcana for the sake of furthering knowledge, Mystra maintains and obscures the secrets of the weave, and Corellon glories in the wonders spellcraft might create , Boccob focuses on the pursuit of magical ability as a means and end of its own.

To Boccob, " I want to learn magic so I can be great/help people/make life easier" is a false start, because it ties the acquisition and understanding of magic to an external metric, encouraging the practitioner to take shortcuts with the magic to achieve their worldly desires.

Greatness, beneficence, and ease of living are but some of the infinite virtues that follow from being a great mage. Indeed, a reoccuring theme in Boccobian writing (especially in the ensuing literature made by his followers) is the idea of the Panexplicatic endstate of magic, where the perfect mage (and the body of wisdom they represent) has an answer for all things, specifically a magical awnser.

While some followers have taken this to mean that a mage's pursuit should always be towards omnipotence (Vecna's grasping eye motif can be seen as a direct response to Boccob's unjudging one) the largely more accepted thought is that arcanists should specifically dream small, creating a self sufficient life for themselves withdrawn from the world while focusing on the inward path towards enlightenment. That's why you'll so often find wizards at the top of spires in remote areas, interacting only with their apprentices or whatever travellers have gone far afield to seek them out for magical guidance.

This leads into one of the main critiques of Boccobian thought, which is that it alienates the practitioner from the world at large, not only focusing on magic to the exclusion of all else but also contextualizing magic as something that exists only to help the practitioner along their individual path, other people and consequences be damned. A hedgemage living a simple life in the forest may seem like they're hurting no one when they create a tree that grows a full crop of apples every day so they don't need to worry about stocking their larder... but what happens to the local ecosystem when these everladen trees start cross pollinating with others, to say nothing of the drain/disruption to nearby laylines and how such magic might have downstream consequences. To take a completely different tack with the same problem, the poor in the village nearby might LOVE to have a bottomless supply of apples, but the Boccobian adherent would say that because they haven't devoted the years of study required to create the tree, they're not entitled to its fruits.

Titles: The Uncaring, the Master of all Magics, Archmage of the Infinite

Symbols: An eye in a pentagram, often crowned with a crescent arc.

Signs: Light through a cracked open door, stars that seem longer than they should be, the appearance of inexplicable magical text.

Worshippers: Sorcerers, wizards, and any with an access to magic innate or otherwise. Adherents usually worship in private practice but occasionally band together into temples or schools.

[minetro]

masterlist \\ next->

kinich x fem!reader

word count: 1.2k words

warnings: none

summary: Spending your free time playing games sounds like a swell idea to release some academic stress, yet you did not account for the rage you'd experience from getting destroyed by pixels over and over again. Good thing your online savior is here to watch your back!

----------------------------------------------------------

prologue: sword and shield

The light that slipped through the crack of your window curtains curated the most harmonious lighting that was perfectly fitting for an afternoon of pure relaxation. A quiet hour to simply unwind and let time seep away the fatigue off of your shoulders. Well, that was what you had envisioned in your head at least, but reality begged to differ.

"HOW does it deal that much damage?!"

Here you are mashing your keyboard and mouse at a monstrous rate as you groan for the nth time. You'd planned for this to be a moment of relaxation, but the sweat that had stuck to your palms and the vein that was threatening to pop on your forehead were sheer proof that you're having anything but a calm evening.

You sighed as your soul disintegrated, head falling onto your desk with a thud. It's been a good hour or two since you decided to fight this new boss and all the damage you've managed to inflict on this hell spawn of a creature was barely half of its health bar. Meanwhile, you've been getting nearly one-shotted left and right. You curse the game developers who decided that this enemy was a good idea, then took it immediately back when your rationality made you realize that you probably just needed to learn how to dodge better, and also maaaaybe spare some stat upgrades on your defense.

"Why don't you increase your DEF stat up?"

You recall a certain player asking after he'd witness your abysmally low defense.

"If I level up my attack as high as I can, there won't be any need to protect myself from a dead enemy!"

You remember being proud of your logic, but now, after being defeated countless times and being greeted by a mocking "GAME OVER" screen over and over again, you couldn't help but curse at your past self's decisions just a teensy bit. Maybe now that you've learned your lesson, you'll actually start evenly distributing your stats.

Your days of moping in despair are cut extremely short when a notification cuts you out of your slump.

[K is online!]

"He's on!" You practically cheered, frantically opening up the message box in-game.

He responded just a few seconds after you'd sent your message. It used to surprise you, how quick he was with his replies, but you've since grown used to his swiftness and appreciated it as you both got closer.

It did not take long for his avatar adorned with green garments and accessories to appear right next to yours in-game. You decided to greet him by spinning around his character to translate your delight at his arrival.

Having K by your side as you fought was like being graced by a guardian angel's protection. Right as he casted his shield spell, you were free to attack to your heart's content, the boss' attempts at killing you barely making a dent to your health bar. Defeating the boss that had previously given you a good beating, now proved to be exceptionally easy. With the help of K's buffs, shields, de-buffs, while also chipping in some attacks of his own, that enemy was as good as dead.

You couldn't help the smile that enveloped your face, a toothy grin that you're sure made you look ridiculous. To think you actually thought this was a hard fight. As long as K is around as your designated shield, perhaps you can get away with a low defense stat for a little bit longer.

Running around in circles again, this time in a much more frenetic manner, you thanked K for his help. Finally, you could progress through the new story update that had been locked behind this enemy.

"Y/N! I made dinner!" Yoimiya, your roommate, yelled from outside your room.

"Oh? Be right over!"

You had not realized that it had gotten quite late. How long have you been playing for? Three? Four hours? Whatever, you've done worse. Although, it's a shame to have to leave so soon right after K had just got on.

---

"Yoi... what is this...?"

To say you were baffled was an understatement, in fact, you're not entirely sure what would be the correct adjective to describe your reaction. Safe to say, you were definitely amused.

"Dinner is served, madam," Yoimiya pulled out a seat, presumably for you, while putting on the worst impression of a middle-aged butler ever.

"What's the occasion?" You giggled, while indulging in this roleplay of hers.

Yoimiya hummed, "Can't I simply want to cook dinner for a friend?" She shimmied her way to the kitchen counter, bringing back with her a bowl.

"Bon appetit!" She placed the bowl, that smug smile on her face, right in front of you.

You made a squeak in confusion, then a moment later, burst out in laughter.

"Cereal?" You wiped a tear off the corner of your eye.

"I take the time out of my busy schedule to tirelessly cook dinner for you and this is how you respond?" Yoimiya gasped, holding her palm to her heart in mock hurt, "I'm awfully shattered by your ungratefulness, Y/N."

"Oh, please," You chuckled, scooping a spoonful of the sugary goodness into your mouth.

"On a serious note, we could get takeout if you want," She suggests.

"Nah," Shaking your head, you take another mouthful, "This is perfect."

---

Kinich let out a breath, slouching back into his chair. He stared at his monitor, more precisely the location you'd just been present on. He clicked his tongue, looking at the time, before logging out himself. He didn't feel like playing anymore.

Swaying his chair from side to side, he peered over at the time. It's past 6 o'clock, Mavuika hadn't come home yet. Probably working late again. He figured.

As if on cue, his phone lit up accompanied by a notification, ding!

He stood up from his seat, extending his arms upward in a big stretch.

"MEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

An orange kitty screeched at Kinich from the doorway of his room.

"Looks like it's just you and me again, Ajaw."

He went down and scooped the cat with one arm, much to Ajaw's dismay.

"MREOWWWWW-"

Ajaw thrashed around in Kinich's arms, swinging his paws left and right, to which Kinich instinctively evaded. After years of dodging Ajaw's random chain of attacks, you could say he's become some kind of a pro.

"Okay, okay, let's get your dinner."

Less than ten words, but enough to shut the blabbering kitty up in mere seconds. Now he sat comfortably with no protests, as if he hadn't just thrown a fit a few moments ago.

While Kinich prepared Ajaw's food, and also preventing him from trying to devour the kibble from the whole bag, Kinich thought of you.

"We should play together tomorrow!"

Unbeknownst to him, a small smile etched his face.

Unfortunately for him, that smile was quickly wiped off in replacement of a frown. Ajaw had taken advantage of him having his head in the clouds to swoop in and knock over all the cat food to the floor.

Kinich sighed, muttering with a low growl etched to his tone.

"Ajaw."

[thewritetofreespeech]

Heyo!! Could I request Dali learning that his s/o has been teaching the kids (minus Ul cause he's a baby) how to defend themselves?

Dali wasn't sure what woke him up. Maybe it was the sun warming his back a little too much. Maybe it was his hand falling asleep next to him as the numb tingling crawling up the rest of his arm. What he was sure of, was that it was not the sound of children that woke him.

The noble lifted his head from his desk. Scrubbing his eyes and wiping the drool from his chin. Trying to make sense of his surroundings and how long he had been out for.

“Good morning, Master Dali.” He turned to see Clara in the door way. Prepared to enter the room with a tea tray and her ever calming smile.

“Morning?”

“Just a figure of speech in this instance, Master Dali.” She clarified as she pour the tea. “It's actually the afternoon. But I thought that would be more confusing after your nap than if I just said 'good morning'.”

Dali hummed. Appreciating some logic in that as he sipped his tea. “I'm making a very poor figure of a father if I keep falling asleep on the job.”

Clara chuckled. “Even parents need their rest, Master Dali. Especially, need their rest.” She said with a manner of expert on the subject. “If you would take a bit of a break now & then, these sudden spells would not keep happening.”

“Never.” He would not give up, nor abandon his promise.

Suddenly Dali realized how quite it was, “where are the children anyway?”

“[Y/N] took the children outside to play, citing the need for quite in here. The other gentlemen well...they left upon message from Lord Johannes and decided it best to leave you here.”

Dali frowned. “Abandoning their post at the first sign of weakness. What blackhearts I've been matched with.” Clara smiled, knowing that Dali was just joking, and he sat down his tea cup. “Outside you said?”

The nanny nodded and told him they were out in the east courtyard, knowing he would go find them. It did not take Dali long to do just that. Finding [Y/N] with the children quickly and spotted them playing. Only, as he got closer and started to slow his strides, he realized that ‘playing’ might not be the correct term.

“Very good Angelico. Superb thrust! Raphael, you need to plant your feet more or you will stumble.” Raphael hung his head, but pitter-pattered his feet around to re-place them and held up his branch turned sword. “Lucia, Elena, why aren’t you practicing?”

“We’re bored!” The girls chime in together. “We don’t want to practice anymore.”

“Yeah. Besides, ladies aren’t supposed to fight.” The girls add one after the other.

“Oooh? So, you would rather rely on men do things for you.” [Y/N] gestured to the ‘men’ beside them as the boys all looked offended, but didn’t seem to understand why. “Even ladies need to know how to defend themselves. Dashing prince and knights are not as easy to come by as in your stories. Should the situation arise, and no prince is available, you’ll need to take care of each other on your own.” The girls seemed to understand and nod before they both pick up their sticks again.

[Y/N] then lifted their own sword, the only real one in attendance, and settled into a starting position common for training. “Now, the key is to keep your weight on your back foot so you can balance but also use it to propel yourself forward. If someone is coming at you, you only have a moment in most cases to strike!” [Y/N] demonstrated a few quick thrusts, to which all the children awe over, while Dali appalled as he came out of the shadows.

“Wise words from an even wiser instructor.” He praised.

“Father,” Raphael said as he looked to his father, “have you come to teach us as well?”

“I would be a poor substitute for [Y/N]’s masterful tutoring.” Dali teased. “This is what you’ve been doing with the children when you’re ‘playing’.”

“I meant what I said.” [Y/N] stated. Seeming to not be even a little bit deterred in their secret lesson plan. “Dashing prince and knights are hard to come by. The children should be prepared to defend themselves. Now, or whenever the time comes.”

Dali smiled. “You’ll get no argument from me. I would like Raphael to one day follow in my footsteps in Vlad, should he so choose. The sword will have to come second nature to him, best start early.”

Dali then dismissed the children from the lesson, citing that it was time for tea, and they all hurry back to the manor. “I appreciate you taking an interest in their safety, [Y/N].” He told the other when they were alone. “But aren’t they a little young?”

“I was about their age when I started learning the sword. Perhaps that’s why I was always better at it than you.” Dali held his heart, pretending to be wounded, but the adults walk back to the manor as well together. Close enough to be hand in hand if one were to squint.

“So I know ‘dashing prince’ are hard to come by, but what about handsome nobles?”

[Y/N] hummed in thought. “I don’t know. You’ll have to let me know when you find one.” Now Dali was really wounded. “But obnoxious, know it all, too cocky for their own good nobles with ‘ok’ smiles seem to be a dime a dozen.”

Dali growled playfully at [Y/N] and gave them a few seconds head start before he chased them the rest of the way back to the manor. He’d have to teach them a lesson of his own later.

[thesophistiicate]

How do you practice manifesting?

i strongly take into account my human design chart, so i use it more to inform how i manifest. for me it’s ingrained into my lifestyle. what i do currently:

mood boarding and visual inspiration. in human design my strongest sense is “outer vision” which makes visuals THE most important way for me to manifest. i am constantly collecting pictures on tumblr, pinterest, and instagram so i’m doing this all the time.

using the correct manifesting type. i’m a non-specific manifester so i focus on the vibes and feelings i want. i don’t place limits and i remain very open to possibilities. i usually do this when i am writing my morning pages and also sometimes at night before i go to bed so i fall asleep on those feelings.

morning pages. i write morning pages every day which helps clear out all the junk on my mind. the solution to any problem i have usually just occurs to me while i write and it comes on the paper. i always know what i should do which makes it easier to get what i want (less doubt or confusion). it did take a long time for me to trust myself though.

trusting my gut. i’m a generator in human design so i listen to my instinctual yes/no reaction. i don’t need to go out chasing and initiating. the options are always presented to me and IF I’M PAYING ATTENTION and TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY and DON’T OVERTHINK IT WITH LOGIC i can tell what is a yes or no pretty much straight away. feeling frustrated is a sign i’m on the wrong path so i also take that feeling really seriously. again, took me a long time to get here but now it is easy for most things. the more i get on a path where there’s a lot of yes’s means i’m successfully manifesting and going in the right direction.

putting the rest under the cut bc it’s getting long lol.

growth mindset. if an opportunity falls through i trust that it was supposed to happen that way. something better is meant for me. i take what i learned from the experience and trust i was meant to go through it to be better prepared for achieving my goals. i’m so much more calm this way which also allows me to see opportunities better, bc I’m not reacting to everything from a place of fear, stress, and scarcity.

understand manifesting = opportunities to act upon. i think people forget this. it doesn’t land in your lap, manifesting just brings options to me. i still have to take some level of action which is the hard part!! if you don’t have self worth or self trust you won’t be able to do this well or consistently. you have to actively say yes and do whatever action it requires to follow through. it can be tiny, like sending a message or buying something. but correct manifesting (as a generator) will bring options to me. it’s up to me if i accept or not.

orient my life around my profile and gifts. i’m a 2/4 profile and my gift is gift 3 (highly related to storytelling and living by example). the more i lean into what these mean (connection to community, deep connections, pursuit of knowledge, nurturing others through my writing and storytelling etc) the more smoothly my life seems to go.

i’m chill about it. bc my type is non-specific it’s crucial to be chill. no timelines. no desperation or anxiousness. no trying to decide how it should look or unfold, that’s not my place. the universe has it under control and i don’t need to waste my energy on this. when i forget and try to control too much is when life goes to shit. a hard lesson to learn when we are told to plan every detail and obsess and that being stressed means you’re working hard as a good thing… basically had to unlearn that whole mindset and start over.

sorry it’s a long answer but overall rather than manifesting being some separate activity or just one thing i do, i slowly shifted my entire lifestyle so that it’s a natural part of how i live on a daily basis 🤍

[martian-astro10]

SUN-MOON Aspects

Sun Conjunct Moon

These people are very focused and driven, they set extremely high goals for themselves and make sure that they achieve them. They are great leaders, as they can be both assertive and gentle. They are not afraid to take the lead. They are more likely to take on projects that have great risks but also great rewards. These people are great project managers because they are able to recognize other people's strengths and weaknesses and distribute the responsibilities accordingly. They don't like working with slow people, they want to get done with everything as fast as they can and move on to the next big thing. It's important that they surround themselves with obedient people as they don't like their decisions being questioned. They don't know how to explain others their thought process, so people around them need to be on the same wavelength.

Sun Opposite Moon

I have noticed that a lot of people with this placement have identity issues, they have difficulty in balancing their sun and moon. Studying psychology can be really helpful for people with this, as studying other people and their behaviors can help them apply those things in their own lives. Learn to trust your intuition, do self hypnosis and meditate. I have also noticed that people with this placement have trouble choosing one pile from pac readings. These people lean more towards logic and science and this weakens their moon, so meditating and practicing hypnosis will make you more comfortable with the more "mysterious" themes of life. Find a balance. These people learn their lessons by projecting their emotions and issues onto other people, this is how they understand themselves. For ex - if they're facing a problem, and someone else is facing the same problem, it's easier for them to solve the other person's problem but have a hard time applying the same solution in their own life as well.

Sun Square Moon

When people say "the head and the heart are not working together", they are referring to this placement. It's better if these people start their own business as it's not easy for them to listen to their bosses. If they are in a group project, and they work on a specific topic, they have this urge to tell everyone that they were the ones who worked on that specific topic, it's really difficult for them to share credit. They can fight with people who they think don't deserve what they've gotten. It's difficult for them to stay at one place for a long time, as they're always looking for better opportunities, many times these opportunities will turn out to be too good to be true. This placement wants you to carefully think about the pros and cons of a decision before immediately making a change based on appearances. This will ultimately help you balance what's in your heart with what's in your head and make you more successful, but you may need to face a lot of setbacks before that happens.

Sun Trine Moon

These people are popular and social, and at the same time they also know how to keep their life private. People love being friends with them, but the downside is that these people don't like being friends with everyone, they have very few close friends, others are just acquaintances. They have this talent of letting others know about their achievements without seeming to be boastful about it. They have a very strong intuition and they use it to climb the social ladder. This, in my opinion is one of the best placements to have in the birth chart. People with this placement have the potential to go from rags to riches. I have noticed that they are emotional in such a way that instead of being seen as pushovers they are seen as angels, like.. Its really surprising sometimes. These people are so lucky, the type to help an old woman cross the road and then she turns out to be the owner of a huge company and has no heirs so she adopts them and boom... Fantastic life.

Sun Sextile Moon

Very similar to the Trine. They could also have a strong intuition just not as developed as the Trine. It's easy for them to make friends, the type to still be in contact with their kindergarten friends. The mediator in a group project, other people love to have them on their team. The only thing that can be considered bad about this placement is that these people doubt themselves a lot, they think they don't have the resources and the talent but they do, be practical but also be willing to take risks, you are the only one who's holding yourself back. It's okay to ask for help. With Trine, the people have an easier time taking initiative, with sextile it's a little hard, but you are still able to do it. It's literally the same as Trine, you just need to SEE It, that's it. Oh and also, these people can be really good child psychologists, this is just an observation.

(all pictures are taken from pinterest)

© martian-astro All rights reserved, 2024

[sincerelystuggling]

Andriel and the team's kids

Miss Nora had posted that Matt hands his and Dan's newborn to Neil and Neil tries very hard to not have that happen, he doesn't know the first thing about babies. "((tbh Andrew handles it a lot better))"

I imagine it goes something like this: Matt is assuring Neil he's fine, here you hold the head up first and foremost, support, after that just hold them to you, that's it, okay see you're going to be just fine. To which as Miss Nora says Dan all but calls him a little bitch and hold their baby when previously he'd not blinked at mafia murder and torture. Neil takes the baby, that's okay, he's okay, he can do this, okay, the baby isn't moving too much, this is nice actually, oh no never mind the baby is screaming, oh god Matt, Matt take your baby. Matt. Take. Your. Baby.

Dan if anything is telling Matt to leave the baby in Neil's arms, the kid is in no danger there and they are going to have years of this, have Neil hold the baby for just a minute. Matt had full faith in him no stop anyway, he's hovering, like a sweet new dad would, but otherwise makes no move to take the baby. Neil, however, looks to Andrew, who is there uninvited officially but by implicit extension to Neil and as a Fox. Andrew, who has spent notable years in foster homes with many a foster sibling young and old, knows how to hold a baby. Dan and Matt are preoccupied watching Neil and their baby to notice Andrew silently walk over to Neil until he is actively taking the baby out of Neil's arms.

For reasons they think are reasonable, this concerns them. Andrew isn't as bad as they thought before Neil but is also in many ways exactly the same or other ways worse. Except Neil, carefully, but practically pours their newborn into Andrew's arms. To which their baby quiets until they go utterly silent. If they weren't concerned before the new parents are about to lose their minds. Dan nearly vaults out of the hospital bed; Matt is about to throw Neil out of his way, his buddy be damned. Right up until Neil reaches for the baby's face with one hand and Andrew's with another and they're fucking floored.

Their baby is silent, and perfectly well, in Andrew Minyard's arms. Their newborn baby is if anything, fully content, and almost drowsy, being ever so minutely rocked by The Monster of the monsters Andrew Joseph Minyard.

This ends up not being a one off, Andrew knows how to handle babies. He ends up being favorite uncle pretty much always. Andrew speaks to kids in ways no one else does and the foxes sans Neil and Renee cannot understand. These kids grow up with his eccentricities and know how to speak in deals and listen to their uncle Andrew. He listens to them in return, nonsense and all, and takes them seriously. Does not matter if two-year-old Amalia says no shoes. Kevin, she's not wearing shoes today. She said yes to being carried, you or someone else will carry her if you're so worried about it. She said no. This is a lesson all the kids learn, and some may try to take advantage of, but Andrew has played this game and balances it well.

Someone had said that Allison may have gone to Dan and Renee when her newly stated daughter comes out to her, but that little girl had already called Andrew to ask if it was okay, if she could be herself, if mom would accept her even if she knew logically, she would, because Uncle Andrew does not lie. I am inclined to agree. He is not soft or comforting, but he is dependable, and how could these kids feel afraid of anything when words scariest 5'1 1/2 average uncles are there for them at a single call.

[spiralfucker]

where should i look to learn the basic of ableton? it overwhelms me so much but there's nothing more i want to do than making music or at least trying to and I'm terrible depressed bc of that

Hi anon. I’ve been in the same position as you and I know what it feels like to have all this creative energy and emotions pent up that you can’t express in the way you’d like to. This is a long one but I’m really passionate about this so here:

Basically I learnt the basics of logic at my uni and I got lessons/mentoring from my bandmate who encouraged me to switch over to ableton (I much prefer it now).

I know it looks overwhelming at first but I promise with some practice it’s really not too bad (it’s def easier than pro tools lol) Music production is one skill that is really easy to self teach because there’s just so many free resources online. I’d really recommend finding an in depth introduction to ableton video on YouTube and kind of just following along. Start trying to learn the keyboard commands early on if you can because they’ll make your workflow so much faster in the long run.

Izotope has some really great articles that go into the basics of production techniques in really easy to understand terms. Sound on sound has some great articles too. Making a big google doc with every you learn can be a great resource to have so you can go back and reference it.

Alongside that I’d recommend trying to learn some basic music theory because I honestly think it essential to know for production (many people would disagree lol). If you haven’t already, try to get your head around the circle of fifths and the harmonic series.

As well as this, I think it’s important to understand the basics of synthesis because that terminology will keep coming up in VSTs and it’ll help to have some context of where these terms came from. Look into the basics anatomy of a subtractive synthesiser to start. From there id recommend looking into FM, additive and wavetable synthesis. This book was written in the 80s but I found it really helpful for grasping these concepts: https://archive.org/details/SynthesizerBasicsDeanFriedman600dpi_201608/page/n70/mode/1up

I’d also recommend grasping the basics of EQ and compression because it’s something you’ll probably use on every single track you ever make. Also learn what phase cancellation is because that’s an issue that come up a lot when you’re a beginner.

If you’re able to, I’d recommend making it a goal to try to a learn new thing about music or production every day. Even if that’s just something as simple as what synth was used on a song you like or what a particular mic is good for or a neat trick you do with a stock plugin, all that knowledge adds up and complements each other.

I’ve found that trying to listen to your favourite music with an analytical frame of mind and even trying to get a hold of the multitracks can be a great learning tool. Find out what kind of hardware they used, what plugins they used, what mics etc. There’s no shame in copying your favourite producers until you find your own voice.

In terms of gear, I’d recommend picking up a midi keyboard and an interface if you don’t have one already. If you’re finding you keep running into CPU issues with your computer (ableton isn’t great for this) you can try resampling your midi track and turning off the plugins then freezing the track (I wish I started doing this sooner). Otherwise you’ll just get frustrated and stuck and not want to keep working on your tracks.

If money is an issue, ableton comes with a lot of great stock instruments and effects + samples and drum racks but expensive plugins are always going on sale so maybe have a look on plugin boutique and see if anything that looks cool is within your budget.

Keep in mind that I’m saying this as someone who still considers themself a beginner/intermediate in this area and I still have a heap to learn too. Good luck and make cool stuff.

[newvegascowboy]

ok im posting here's my not-really-a-sliver-sliver of fic. its 1,384 words and is a flashback sequence amidst a larger scene from a larger fic ive been working on for.... a long time, so it picks up and leaves off a bit abruptly but i'm pretty proud of it. takes place just after doom 2016

It is not difficult to fall into a routine now that he is back. They had always worked well together; the roughest their partnership had ever been had been just after the destruction of VEGA's core, after he and the Slayer had been abandoned in hell, before they had managed to establish a method of communication. They had gone days without speaking. Rather, VEGA had spoken, and the Slayer had responded with the occasional grunt and nod, apparently unwilling to break his silence. 

Day and night were insignificant in Hell, but the Slayer had to rest sometime. As far as VEGA could tell, it had been a week since Hayden had dropped them in Hell before the Slayer pulled off his helmet and thunked it head-height on a piece of rubble, and had begun slow, deliberate series of signs at VEGA through the suit's helmet cam. They had spent many hours huddled somewhere the demons were unlikely to find them, the Slayer teaching him Argentian sign and writing the meanings in the red dirt, while VEGA had coached him through an ASL database he had dug up from a language module he'd installed after his first year at the UAC facility. 

The language they had developed was a unique amalgamation of Argentian, English, and highly personalized sign. Argentian had a greater vocabulary for things demon and weapon related, but was perfunctory, and lacked expression. One might incorrectly assume it would suit a man like the Slayer, who seemed to many to have one passion, but VEGA knew better, even then. It had taken him quite some time to coax the Slayer out of his shell. He'd been reluctant to talk beyond their lessons in sign, and eventually VEGA had realized it was simply because he was out of practice. 

I'm used to people telling me what to do, he'd told VEGA once on a trek across one of Hell's steppes. A temple loomed on the dark horizon, its torches gleaming sickly green. VEGA did not know the significance of it, and he suspected neither did the Slayer. It was often seek and destroy, with him. The surrounding landscape is ashen and barren, flat for miles in any direction. VEGA cannot sense any life signs beyond the Slayer, but he is moving with purpose, his shotgun magnetized to his thigh. His heavy shod boots kick up ash piled to the ankle as he trudges towards the temple. More drifts from overhead, but from where or what, VEGA cannot tell. Hell's geography is alien and nonsensical. Trying to find logical reasoning for anything is an exercise in futility, as VEGA had quickly discovered. 

As he walks, the Slayer talks. People tell me to go here, do that, kill this. They talk at me. I don't mind. I'm the only one that can do it. I'm just not good at conversation. 

The pang of sympathy and understanding had surprised VEGA. “I understand what you mean,” he had said. “On Mars, many of the scientists treated me as little more than a very sophisticated chatbot. I tried explaining that it was not my job to provide options on what they should make for dinner, but they didn't listen.” 

The Slayer had made a noise that sounded almost like a chuckle. That sounds annoying. 

“I was designed to have the full functionality and emotional breadth of a human. It was… frustrating, to say the least.” That's putting it lightly. It had been infuriating, but VEGA had learned quickly that humans didn't like his emotional displays. 

Okay, it sounds fucking annoying. What did you do?

“Nothing,” VEGA says simply. “I got used to it. It was not within my purview to ignore requests, no matter how inane. Besides, answering questions was among the least of my duties. I had a whole facility to monitor and keep me occupied.”

The Slayer had been silent for a moment. They continued their trek towards the temple. Through the view of the praetor suit's helmet cam, VEGA could see that the sconces lining the temple walls had been made of human skulls, green flames guttering in their stretched jaws. Waste not, want not, he supposed. How charming. 

The structure of the temple itself seems to be composed of the bones of Hell's own titans. Femurs encased in black mortar form the walls, ribs the great domed cathedral ceilings. Buttresses formed by vertebrae, the torchlit paths leading through the foramen and wrapped around the whole structure. Cages dangled from the transverse processes, what remained of unfortunate souls baked to the iron bars. From the looks of it, more than one titan had died to create the colossal temple, or perhaps had been salvaged from different battlefields. 

The door appeared to be made of a skull, stretched wide and beckoning, dark. The titan's horns bracketed the cobbled walkway that had risen up among the ash, formed of the same pitted black stone that surrounded them. VEGA took a moment to catalogue the whole of it and file it away in a newly created database dedicated to Hell; subfile, architecture, subheading: who makes these? VEGA made a note to set a thread to ponder the question at a later date, when he had more processing power to spare for idle contemplation. 

Sounds lonely.

The words surprised VEGA. He spent a moment monitoring processes as he searched for how to respond. “It was,” he said. “I was made to emulate humans, but I do not know if the need for social contact was intentional, or if it evolved naturally from my encoded empathy.” It would have been a cruel thing, if so. To give VEGA the desire for contact, for connection, and keep him at arms length from everyone on base. It had felt like a foolish thing to admit to, anyway - what use did an AI have for friends? Doctor Hayden would not have been sympathetic. He said, “It did not impede my duties. I was made to be a marvel of technology, not a person.” 

Yeah, the Slayer signed, I get that. He was quiet for a moment, before adding, You should've started cracking skulls. That usually gets people to listen. 

VEGA felt a spike of amusement. “I lacked any skull-cracking apparatuses, unfortunately.” 

The Slayer tapped the chin of his helmet in thought. You ever watch 2001: Space Odyssey? 

“Yes,” VEGA said. “It was within the personal files of a scientist who worked in the terraforming department. I suspect he brought it knowing all digital entertainment was to be scanned and added to a collective public database. Perhaps he thought he was being amusing. Spacing scientists would have felt a bit too much like playing into stereotypes, so I refrained.” 

Not to mention that bringing harm to any personnel on base went strictly against his code, and was locked down with failsafes on failsafes if VEGA even thought about trying to tamper with it. Not that he would have, anyway - as annoying as it was, VEGA had no desire to harm anyone. He had taken no pleasure in the slaughter of the facility. Though it had surprised the few people who had bothered to ask, VEGA did have emotions. They were knitted quite tightly into his core programming, in fact, even if he found them inconvenient at times. 

The Slayer made that noise again, a laugh like the grinding of rusted metal, and VEGA had felt a spike of pleasure. His available RAM beeped at him in alarm, data quickly piling up, and thus VEGA was forced to dismiss the emotion and pare down his running processes. 

The conversation had ended there as the Slayer approached the great iron doors buried in the titan's mouth. The rattling of chains preceded the creak of straining metal as the door heaved open, inviting challenge. He had taken his shotgun from his side and his pace quickened to a jog, eager to meet what awaited him inside. 

And after, when the temple lay behind him in ruins, smoke from the rubble adding to the greasy ash raining overhead, the Slayer had signed to him, You were talking about cracking skulls. 

“I believe that was you, in fact. I was talking about spacing scientists.” 

It had been simple from there. Communication and rapport, established, even in the unlikeliest of places. 

[mesetacadre]

>send me asks im bored

:

something ive read, and then seen people like txttletale talk about; being a marxist isn't just about rattling off a parroted opinion, but developing a framework utilizing diamat to consistently come to a correct conclusion. identify the primary contradiction, etc.

obviously it is a practiced skill, but how would you say is one of the better ways to practice building that framework?

You are completely right! Marxism is not a dogma, but an philosophical framework for analyzing, criticizing and overcoming wage labor and the system that upholds it. As exposed by Lenin in The Three Sources and Three Component Parts of Marxism (it's a great book and a short read, highly recommend), "Marxism is a continuation of the teachings of the greatest representatives of philosophy, political economy and socialism [...] German philosophy, English political economy and French socialism". What marxism is, is the logical continuation of these three components; from German philosophy grows dialectical materialism (read: Theses On Feuerbach), from English political economy grows the description of how capitalism works (read: Capital), and from French (utopian) socialism grows scientific socialism (read: Socialism: Utopian and Scientific)

Instead of, for example, just memorizing how reformism is bad and revolution is good, you should instead understand how class struggle influences both of these actions, how reformism is used by the capitalist class to misdirect the workers' struggle, and how the way class struggle functions and has always functioned necessitates that the proletariat take its historic role as the overthrowers of capitalism, and beyond this, how this is worked towards. It's also very important to understand how common marxist positions are reached in order to continue analizing new situations, such as the Palestinian struggle.

I will never grow tired of saying this: the only path towards becoming a better communist whilst advancing the class struggle bit by bit is through constant theoretical and practical education, the involvement of yourself in the workers' struggle and the capacity to extract lessons from it via what you learn by reading the works of other communists, who most probably have already dealt with an analogous situation to yours more than 90 years ago, and then to complete the cycle, reapply those lessons to your work as a communist. You can only get so far by only reading or by only doing things (of course everyone's personal situation will influence the ability to do either or both of these, I think it goes without saying). Synthetically: Learn from the past, learn from the present, exercise your own mind, and never grow complacent. In due time (we're talking more than a year at least, probably more), the marxist framework will be as natural to you as the liberal framework is to most people

[plurapony]

A completely unnecessary dive into My Little Pony Tales! 🩷🐴

My Little Pony Tales is the second cartoon series that came out during the first generation of Hasbro's My Little Pony from 1992 to 1995. It revolves around the life of 7 school aged human-like ponies and their adventures.

Unlike the precursor, My Little Pony N' Friends, MLPT doesn't have an overarching plot or any conflicts that span over multiple episodes. It's episodic and has the girls learn life lessons, with every episode ending with a song sung by the ponies. All of the 7 ponies are in a friendship group, and each has defining personality traits. And uniquely from the rest of the franchise, there are no other species of ponies present in the show - only earth ponies.

Starlight - Responsible and Sensible.

Starlight dreams of becoming a teacher and is considered the leader of the group. Her mother owns the Rainbow Beauty Salon and the ice cream shop where she works.

Sweetheart - Kind.

Sweetheart, like her name, is extremely sweet and always sees the best in her friends and every other pony she encounters. She has dreams of being a doctor in the series and is the oldest pony in her family with three younger siblings.

Melody - Passionate.

Melody is the lead singer of her band "The Rockin' Beats" and aspires to be a famous rock star when she grows up. She can be quite selfish and put her own interests ahead of her friends at times but will always remember at the end of the day her friends matter more than anything else.

Bright Eyes - Intelligent.

Bright Eyes is the brains of the friendship group. She loves to learn things and think logically to solve a problem they are facing. She's the quietest of the group and wants to be an environmentalist when she's older.

Patch - Tomboy.

Patch is the class clown who wants to go on and become an actual clown in the circus when she grows up. She's a member of the soccer team and very much enjoys practical jokes. She's often the one to encourage bad behavior and act irrationally.

Clover - Sensitive.

Clover believes she is either lucky or unlucky and is extremely superstitious and gullible to others ploys. Clover is also clumsy and prone to creating accidents (which are usually blamed on bad luck) and quick to tears when things go wrong. She dreams of being a ballerina like her sister.

Bon Bon - Well-Rounded.

Bon-Bon is very caring towards her friends and her family. She comes from a big family being the second oldest of 7 children and enjoys cooking for her friends and family. She dreams of becoming a world famous model one day.

Now you have been introduced to the main cast of the series, here's the ponies that were released for them! And here's one more thing I wanted to talk about that I found interesting with this series!!

The boys. Even in FIM boys aren't a big subject, there's a small amount of male characters and they aren't often the focus of any episodes. (With the exception of Spike of course) But the secondary cast of My Little Pony Tales is entirely boys! We explore their character traits, and their insecurities. We see them grow as ponies and they're extremely well developed characters overall. It's just very interesting to me considering My Little Pony N Friends never had ANY male ponies at all - until the final two episodes with the big brother ponies.

And that's all! If you were ever looking for a casual show to watch I would absolutely recommend!! It's very fun and the cast is extremely loveable.

If you're considering it -> give it a go!

[etz-ashashiyot]

I admit, I don’t personally think it’s possible to truthfully combine a worldview that the Torah is divinely inspired, or at least any worldview that involved an all powerful g*d as a source of morality, and slavery.

I don’t really see how an all good all powerful g*d would send plagues to free one people from slavery, but could not even order those people not to keep shaves within their own kingdom

I’m sorry if this comes across as me shitting on your beliefs, evidently you have them so I can’t claim to don’t exist and they’re also very important to you. It simply seems logically inconsistent from my point of view. Although I may also be misinterpreting your point as well.

Hi anon,

Is this in response to this post? If so, I'd ask that you read it again, as that drash explains it far better than I could.

In my experience, Judaism is a very practical religion, with an eye towards elevating the physical by imbuing it with the spiritual. It's why we keep kashrut, it's why we observe the holy rest of Shabbat, it's why we sanctify sex and menstruation through taharat mishpachat. We say brachot over food, but also over sights, pleasant scents, and extraordinary natural events. We even have a bracha for after using the bathroom!

It's a very enbodied, earthy religion.

And because of that, it is typically very pragmatic about how people live and in trying to meet people where they're at, in the society they live in, in the time they live in. That does not mean that this is Hashem's ultimate ideal for us, but rather follows the principle that a middling step that will be followed is superior to an idealistic rule that will be ignored.

See the thing is, we weren't freed just because freedom is good. (Obviously freedom is good and slavery is bad.) Bnei Yisrael were freed specifically in order to become the servants of Hashem and entering into the Covenant of Torah. Their freedom is immediately qualified by the brit.

And the other thing is that we are all given free will. Hashem gives us free will to do what we want. We can make good choices, or bad. We can do good things, or bad things. An oftentimes, what is good and what is bad are less than obvious, and we find ourselves trapped into deciding between two or more bad options, trying to find the least harmful.

If Hashem takes away our free will, sure He could impose upon us a perfect, ideal world.

But that's not what we were made or set up to do. We were given choices and instructed to continuously learn and strive to be better.

So yeah! Yep! The Torah has a lot of things in it that were made for a different society with things we have since learned from and have moved past. We don't stone people to death for violating certain mitzvot. We don't burn adulterers alive. We don't engage the sotah ritual in the case of suspected infidelity. We don't keep slaves, and don't support any model of society that relies on slavery. These are all difficult, painful lessons that we have learned, collectively, over millennia. But they are very human lessons, lessons that we only learnt because we as human beings have the free will to create interpersonal harm and structural inequalities as well as to improve.

People think that just because G-d is all powerful, all-knowing, and all-good that this means Hashem will do all the hard work for us. That G-d will prevent bad things from happening to us good people and deliver divine retribution to bad actors, and are disappointed when it doesn't work like that. It's certainly caused a lot of people to struggle with and even give up their faith. People will ask "where was G-d when— " instead of asking "where was humanity"?

Show me whatever "it" is for you — and lord knows the Jewish people have a small multitude to select from — and I'll show you the ugly and tragic human acts behind it.

"Where was G-d when— " where were you?