#but the gay voices in my head tell me to draw

[unproduciblesmackdown]

omgg lol [guy who won't stop going "more like scapeGOATED" voice] now hold! on!! lmao [same guy just saw encanto voice] Hold on!!!

[orcelito]

y'all have cursed me ngl. been about 2 weeks since i made Gay Moon Post & in the thousand + notes since i have seen that fucking gay moon panel SO many times

i see ppl redrawing it & im just like "oh Gay Moon Post reference?" & i have to remind myself tht this is a part of the manga that plenty of other people see without seeing my post on tumblr dot com

[cvntluver444]

7 mins in heaven w ellie😇😇😇😇

thank you so much for your request and your support love!! <3

✞ 7 minutes ✞

✿ summary : the request!

✿ warnings : smut minors/men (boys) dni, puss rubbing, dirtyy talk, shy reader, sweet ellie, ellie teaching reader, reader is in closest!!!!!!, mentions of reader in str@ight relationship, almost getting caught!, if i missed any lmk pls!

✿ a/n : thank you for supporting my works as always! this is not my best work bc i used all my creative brain juice on my last fic so i am so sorry! unfortunately, i am headed back to school this weekend so my writing is going to slow down, but i'm not stopping don't worry babies. im hoping to put out 2-3 fics a week still!!!! keep sending in those requests! I have one more to work on, so to the anon who requested it its coming i promise my love!!!!

ALSO i did kind of make this a personal fic im so sorry LMAO basically i just explain how when i finally realized i was gay YAYAYA !!!!!!! but yeah warning again the reader in this is based on me so it is like finding out you're into girls later on kind of thing so if this is something you're not interested in feel free to skip! I hope you like it lucy!!! (idk if that's your real name im just going to call u that teehee) i love you all so much! muah

✿ as always, please remember to keep spreading information on and support Palestine!!

daily click

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

you anxiously played with your fingers as the last of the party guest gathered around the huge circle. your friends and you decided to spend your saturday night at one of your classmates party, resulting in you now dreading your turn in the 'truth or dare' game.

"you okay?" you turn your head to your left as your eyes land on your friend, who clearly could pick up on how nervous you looked.

"yeah i'm fine," you tell her. "just hope i don't have to do anything stupid or embarrassing. she laughs at your comment.

"don't worry, i doubt you'll even get picked. there's a lot of people here and were all drunk so, who cares!'. her shouts fills the room, drawing a couple eyes toward the two of you. you giggle and hide your face, trying to tell her to keep it down. in the midst of shushing her, your eyes graze the room, watching people roll their eyes at her behavior. but your eyes catch someone else's and you freeze.

ellie williams

she sends you a soft smile, a dark look in her eyes. you gulp and look away quickly. god, she was so hot you thought. you hope she couldn't how flustered she made you. you hope no one could. your whole life, you've always had no problems catching boys' attention. you could have a whoever, whenever, but with this luxury came its flaw. you never actually liked the boys you went out with, you just loved being loved, being in a relationship. you never understood why you felt that way, but just continued on normally, not giving yourself a chance to actually explore more about yourself. but when you first met ellie freshmen year, the feelings finally became visible, especially after finding out she was also into girls; however, you were still not sure if she felt the same. This caused you to once again burry your feelings and close yourself up. You were too scared, and way too sober to even try to talk to ellie.

suddenly, a loud voice can be heard yelling throughout the house. "truth or dare starting now in living room," on boy shouted. your palms became sweaty and you prayed that everyone would pick up on your uncomfortableness and just leave you alone. as always though, the world likes to work in funny ways, and you feel a large presence sit next to you and tap you on the shoulder.

"hey," the boy smiles, "cool if i sit here?" you just give me a simple nod of your head and continue your attention elsewhere, your thoughts interrupted once again. "you look good tonight, by the way". you turn back around, and give him a quiet thanks, and before he could respond, everyone around you begins to pick who will go first for the game.

after three or four people went, you began to grow annoyed. the man next to you could not take the hint, and you were the only person here not having a good time.

"alright williams," the room cheers silently, "truth or dare". your attention is now fully on ellie. she stares up at her friend who just picked on her, small smirk on her face as she answers with a confident dare. "hmmm," her friend hums out loud, looking around the room. you swear you see their eyes stop on yours for a second, before they get an idea. "i dare you to do 7 minutes in heaven," they pause and the room is filled with oooo's. your heart drops a bit. "a person of your choosing." now everyone was going crazy. everyone knew ellie was gay, and everyone knew she made every girl gay, so it was a pretty heavy dare.

ellie smiles up at her friend, sage you think their name is, before she slowly starts scanning the room. you quickly look down, hoping that your avoided eye contact would make you more invisible. your only focus now was watching your fidgeting fingers and giving back half asses answers to the man beside you who still will not shut up.

you hear ellie suck in her breathe before she slowly gets up from the ground. all you wanted to do in this moment was sink into the ground, not sure how you were going to handle seeing ellie pick another girl that isn't you and go fuck her in the closet. too deep in your thoughts, you don't hear the air leave your friends lungs as a certain someone stalks towards you. you only know ellie is right in front of you once you see the beat up sneakers sneak right under your vision.

your eyes widen and you cant breathe. there has to be someone behind you right? no, she could not pick you. in fear that you would be disappointed when looking up, you keep your head down, telling yourself that you're just-

your friend next to you quietly says your name, excitement laced in her voice. she was the only one you told, the only one you could trust with something so personal to you, so to say she was absolutely ecstatic to see ellie pick her best friend, well that was an understatement.

after your quick reality check, your line of vision trails from the top of her feet, all the way to her line of vision, where you see hear towering over you, smirk on her face. you felt like you were going to throw up.

"wanna come with me?" she asks you, that little smile never leaving her face. you look around the room, everyone in just as much shock as you. you look back at ellie, and without thinking twice, you nod your head yes.

she grabs her hand out for you to take, and you two make your way into the closet in between the living room and kitchen, but not before ellie yells something along the lines of keep yourselves busy, and don't be pervs. you feel like you're dreaming, you can't believe ellie williams picked you. but suddenly, you're brought back into reality when she closes the closet and turns on her phone flashlight.

"so," she begins, "how's your night been." you now grow extremely insecure at how little you've been talking to her, not knowing exactly what to do next considering you've never been with a girl.

"oh uh," you begin, "it's been okay. what about yours?" stupid stupid stupid.

"pretty good. saw that guy talking to you. you looked uncomfortable so thought i would save you." she gives a light giggle, but your heart drops and you look at her with sad eyes.

"oh uh yeah haha thanks," you attempt to say, sadness clearly laced in your voice. ellie picks up on it.

"are you okay? did he do anything?" she asks you, coming closer, concern reading all over her face. you blush at how much she cares about you.

"no, no, he didn't do anything, just was annoying," you let out a breathy laugh. "i guess i just thought that we were gonna, ya know, since you picked me, um, never mind this is stupid." your cheeks are now red with embarrassment, and ellies face softens at your rambling.

"aw, no sweetie. just because i picked you doesn't mean we have to do anything. i know you're not into girls." she gives you a friendly tap on the shoulder. ouch. your heart has now sank completely, and you slowly go to reach for the closet door handle. ellie looks confused, before she panics and grabs your hand.

"where are you going? it hasnt been 7 minutes yet sweetheart," she asks you.

"i was just gonna go back. kinda boring just doing nothing here." you tell her sadly.

"well, what do you want to do?" she still hasn't caught on? at this point, you feel like you will never get another chance again. with your ego still a little boosted that she chose you, you answer her.

"i wanna kiss you, ellie," you tell her. she freezes in the spot she's in before she slowly relaxes and relief washes over her face.

"i wanna kiss you too." she tells you. you look up at her, hope in your eyes, and she slowly grabs yours chin with her fingers and pulls you towards her. your lips meet and you both slowly start to make out. now you know why it was called 7 minutes in heaven. pleasure rushed through your body, and you instantly melted into the kiss. it was the first time you actually felt something when kissing someone, and in the bliss of this new feeling, you now put your arms around her shoulders.

the kiss deepens and turns more sinful as ellies hands now trail down to your ass and give it a light squeeze. you moan into her mouth and she groans back in response. her hands now start exploring your body, covering every inch of you until they make their way down towards your loose jeans. you quickly pull away, feeling like a complete virgin even though this kind of stuff is nothing new to you.

"woah, hey, you okay? we can stop if you want," ellie tells you, scared that she may have gone too far.

"no ellie its not you, its just," you try to find the right words. "i've never actually been with a girl before." you tell her, shame written all over your features. she lightly grabs your face once more as she gives you another passionate kiss.

"im happy to help you through it, and if you ever want me to stop, you just tell me." she explains, leaving light kisses all over you exposed next and chest. you moan out as you give her your permission to continue. her lips find her way back to yours, taking control of the kiss. in between each breath, she made sure to tell you how beautiful you were, and how much she had been dreaming of this. you return the compliments, gasping when ellie now picks you up and leans you down on the closet floor.

now on top, she puts all her weight on her elbow, as the other one trails down from your chest, then your stomach, to finally the place where you needed her the most. still kissing you, her fingers undo your buttons. once your jeans were shoved down, and your panties moved to the side, ellie breaks the kiss.

you whine from the loss of contact, and she shushes you. "is it ok if i touch you?" she asks you politely.

"yes, ellie. please touch me," you beg her. "want you so bad." her lips suddenly reconnect with yours, and her fingers start rubbing light circles on your clit. you moan as she teases you, never feeling this way with any guy you've ever been with.

"you make the prettiest noises," she tells you, nipping at your lips. "fuck, and you're so wet too." her talking alone brings you even closer to your high, another new feeling.

you feel her fingers now trail down and tease your entrance, making the most sinful sound. she bites her lips, then starts pumping two fingers inside of you.

your eyes now roll to the back of your head and ellie falls to your side, the new position allowing her to finger you even faster. your head leans into her shoulder, and tears brim in your eyes from how good shes making you feel.

"faster, please," you beg, now staring into her eyes. the innocent look on your face causes her pussy the clench.

"yeah baby? you want me to go faster?" she teases you. "ill do anything for you beautiful." that was enough to send you over the edge, and you start to shake and she speeds up her motions.

"els" is all you can get out, but she knows exactly what you're trying to say, telling you to let go and cum all over her fingers.

and you're about to, until you hear yelling outside the closest door, and people are banging on your door, telling you seven minutes has passed.

you and ellie groan, and you're about to scream out of frustration, before ellies low voice cuts you off.

"i want you to get dressed and meet me outside my car, we can finish this at me." she tells you, a loving look on her face. you giggle and give her a quick peck, before jumping up and putting on your clothes.

you two come out of the closet, rushing towards the front door, completely ignoring all your friends and strangers random questions flying your way.

"where are they going?"

"are they holding hands?"

"do you think they did anything?"

"they so fucked."

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

✿ a/n: heh, they came out the closet. anyways, like i said, very personalized im sorry i hit my penjamin and im in my feels but i really hope you guys liked it! my requests are still open! love you all so much and don't forget to follow because i post frequently!! <3

[billiesguitar]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ 𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐄𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 ←last part || next part���

Fuckboy!Billie x Nerdy!Reader

- Part 2 || Au masterlist ||

Warnings - Billie slightly manipulating reader,short chapter,mentions of sex (no smut tho)

As soon as Billie left the room, I began to regret everything. what the hell was I thinking? I hastily put my clothes on and head back to my dorm, making sure to leave that orange post-it on her bed.

a week passes and i hadn't heard from her. Thank God. I made a point to rush past her in the halls and cafeteria, I regreted everything and genuinely didn't want to talk about it or hear about it ever.

But one evening, when I was studying in the library, I felt a presence behind me. I looked up and there she was, her dark hair in a messy bun and those piercing eyes staring straight into my soul. She had her hands in her pocket, leaning against the bookshelf.

"hm, funny seeing you here." she says with a smirk.

I roll my eyes and continue my reading, pretending she's not there. But she doesn't leave, she sits next to me, her leg brushing against mine.

"You've been avoiding me." she says, her voice low and teasing.

"I have not," I reply, trying to keep my cool.

"Yes, you have," she counters, "why?"

"Because, Billie, that was a mistake." I whisper, "please don't tell anyone," I beg.

"wh-" I cut her off, "promise me you wont tell anyone,"

She leans closer, "Why should I?"

"Because, I'd rather not draw that type of attention to myself." I reply, my voice shaking slightly.

"What do you mean, 'that type of attention', what kind of attention?" she asks, her smirk growing.

"You know what I mean," I mutter through gritted teeth.

she smirks, "no I don't, care to explain?"

"fuck you." I pick up my things and rush out of the library, ignoring her laughter.

she follows me out, "Okay okay, I'm sorry, I promise I won't tell anyone," she says, "But you know you liked it."

I roll my eyes at her and head back to my dorm to continue studying in peace.

The next day, I'm in my dorm when my phone buzzes, it's a text from a number I don't recognize. "What number is your dorm?" It's Billie, I know it is. I ignore it, pretending not to know who it is. my phone buzzes again

"It's Billie, we need to talk." I sigh, what could she possibly want? I decide to text back "about what?" "about what happened that night" I groan and text back "What do you want to talk about?" "I want to see you again, to appologize."

I think about it for a moment before finally replying, "Fine." "the door number?" I send it to her, and immediately regret it.

Within minutes, there's a knock on my door. I take a deep breath before opening it to find Billie standing there in a hoodie and some shorts.

"Hey," she says, her eyes searching my face for a reaction.

"Hi," I reply, stepping aside to let her in.

Her eyes scan the room before landing on me again. "So, about that night." she starts.

"I don't want to talk about it," I say, trying to sound firm.

"Why not?" she asks, sitting on my bed.

"Because it was a mistake," I repeat, "I don't do that sort of thing."

"What, have sex?" she scans my face again, "or have sex with a girl?"

I blush, "Both, I guess." I look up at her, "I guess, I'm not ready for everyone to know that I'm, y'know…"

"Gay?" she finishes for me.

I nod, feeling embarrassed.

"You don't have to be ashamed," she says, "It's who you are."

"I know," I murmur, "But I'm not ready to tell everyone."

"That's okay," she says, her voice soft, "I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to."

We sit in silence for a moment before she speaks again, "But I'm not going to lie, I want to see you again."

My heart skips a beat, "Why?"

"You're interesting."

"Billie-"

she cuts me off, "doesn't have to be sexual if you don't want. just friends?" she flashes me a seemingly genuine smile, and I stupidly fall for it.

"Okay," I say, "but no funny business."

"Scout's honor," she says, holding up two fingers.

We sit and talk for hours, about everything and nothing. We watch movies, she makes fun of my love for romance, and I tease her about her love for horror. And somehow, we find ourselves lying on the bed, our heads on the same pillow, watching the sun rise.

It's comfortable, being around her, and I find myself forgetting the fear and embarrassment I felt that night.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

𖦹Scarlets' note - -ˋˏ- suble forshadowing??

←last part || next part→

TAGLIST - @iluvapplesxh @imurmomsfavgf @hkkuugu @krosep @stonerfromlesbos

[reminiscingtonight]

Gay 4 Me

Alessia Russo x Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N: A little spiciness, talks about solo-action if you get my drift. Based on the G Flip and Lauren Sanderson song

[WOSO Masterlist]

You find out by accident. 

Katie, shit-stirrer she is, is in the midst of ribbing the fuck out of Alessia. The striker had missed one too many goals, one too many passes, one too many everythings at practice and the Irish woman’s taking too much joy in rubbing it in her face. 

“Mate, you’re too stressed. Gotta find yourself a lovely lad or someone to work out the tension.”

“There’s no tension, Katie!”

“Tell that to your shoulders,” the brunette snorts, fingers flicking at Alessia’s shoulder. 

The blonde bats her hands away, a frown on her face. “There’s no tension,” Alessia repeats, annoyance leaking into her voice.

“There’s no shame in getting a bit of help, Lessi.” Katie shrugs. “I might judge your taste in… partners, but that’s exactly what they’re for. To help us relax a bit.”

“I don’t need help relaxing,” Alessia huffs.

It takes a second, but Katie eventually gets what the blonde’s telling her. Katie’s mouth splits into a devilish grin. The Irish woman’s always more than happy to get too close and personal, invading everyone’s private lives. 

“What, your fantasies that good?”

Alessia rolls her eyes. “I never said they’re fantasies, McCabe.”

“Oh come on, you can’t say straight sex is that good to be reminiscing about.”

“Well I never said it was straight sex now did I?”

Katie’s mouth drops open and Alessia uses the moment of reprieve to push past the Irish woman. 

You tuned into the conversation the second the two of them made it into the locker room. You’re not sure what it is but something about Alessia is just so magnetic, always drawing you in no matter what you’re doing.

So yeah, you’re already listening to Alessia and Katie’s bickering when you find out that Alessia apparently has no qualms getting some solo action. But those words paired with blue eyes flashing towards you has you struggling to swallow.

Good lord. 

Alessia Russo touches herself to the memories of the two of you having sex. And she just admitted it to the whole locker room. 

(Not that the girls know which memories she’s getting off to, of course)

A bolt of arousal shoots right through you as you drop your head, face flaming red. 

You can still remember the night it happened. The taste of tequila sharp on your tongue after a night out with the team. You’ll argue that the alcohol lowered your inhibitions but truthfully nothing but pure lust made you trail after your blonde teammate out of the bar. Alessia felt soft under you, the noises she made sounding like music to your ears. What she lacked in experience she clearly made up for in skill, easily bringing you to the precipice multiple times just as you did her.

Just the thought of sweet little innocent Lessi, hand shoved between her legs, nothing on her mind but your hot night together as she brings herself to release makes you want to take her apart right here right now. 

The feel of a hand trailing down your back has you hurtling back into the present, breath caught in your throat in surprise. Alessia seems amused when you start hacking away. Her hand stays in place as she hands you your water bottle.

“All good?” Her face is the picture perfect example of innocence but you can see right through her.

“All good?” you mock, shoving at her lightly. Alessia laughs, discreetly running her hand down your arm, pausing to give your bicep an appreciative squeeze before taking it back.

“Of course.” Her words are paired with teeth biting her bottom lip and you have to fight the urge to sink your own teeth into the rosy skin.

“You’re killing me, Less,” you groan under your breath.

“You can’t seriously be blaming me, can you? Was quite rude how you left me with an ache if I’m being honest.”

Eyes bulging at Alessia’s confession, you find yourself choking on yet another breath.

It’s the way she says it without any embarrassment, eyes glimmering with a slight challenge, that takes you off guard.

Deep in your head you can still hear your cousin’s warning when Alessia first signed for Arsenal. Ella had backed you into a corner at a family gathering, finger digging into your sternum the second you walked through the doors.

“Alessia’s my best mate and she’s the sweetest and most innocent girl ever. You better take care of her when she joins your stupid little club or so help me I will make your life a living hell the next time we see each other.”

You couldn’t find it in yourself to tell Ella that she seemed as threatening as a scraggly chihuahua. But you promised her that you would watch out for the blonde.

If only Ella could see her best friend now. Not so innocent and pure as she thought.

Though you really have no one to blame for that but yourself.

You know your cheeks are burning right now and you pray that none of your teammates are paying close attention to you and Alessia. If anyone was, they’d instantly know you guys are talking about things less than PG friendly.

Nervously chuckling, you keep your eyes trained to your bag, trying to ignore the way you can feel Alessia staring at the side of your face. “That great, huh?”

Alessia clicks her tongue, an action that has your head instantly going to the gutter, remembering exactly what she could do with the muscle. “If I’d have known how good you were in bed I would have asked Ella to hook us up eons ago.”

She’s grinning when you look up at her with an incredulous expression. “Alessia!”

“What?” she laughs, easily intertwining your fingers and leading you towards the door when she realizes you’re done packing. She leads you past a still dumbfounded Katie by the door, pausing long enough to wink at the Irish defender before you’re slipping away to the parking lot.

You have a feeling you’re going to have to endure an interrogation from the brunette in the days to follow, but right here right now, hand still caught in Alessia’s as you walk her to her car, you can’t find it in yourself to care all that much. 

Especially when Alessia suddenly hooks her fingers into your belt loops and yanks, sending you crashing into her body. You tilt your head back and laugh, arms resting around her shoulder so you don’t completely barrel her over.

“Well hello there,” she winks, as if she’s not the reason you’re currently pressing her against her own car.

“Alessia,” you return evenly, raising an eyebrow in question.

“I have a bottle of tequila and microwaveable chicken nuggets at my place. Wanna recreate some memories?”

You narrow your eyes at the striker. Her smile turns a little more teasing.

“Would you rather I straight up ask for you to put your fingers--”

“Shut up and get in the car, Less.”

[lowkeyrobin]

hiii I was wondering if I could request a sorry boys x reader? (Totally understand if not tho! Just Tommy, ranboo, Charlie, and Philza (: )

but the reader is like a streamer who just does art streams? I like to think of it as crumb-like streams? Anyway, the reader also has an idea for a possible indie show or comic or whatever they wanna make one day and they sometimes draw or animated stuff for that?

(also do you mind if I be the ⚠️ anon?)

oooo yeah of course! ; and welcome to the hotel ⚠️! love the reference haha ; anyways thank you for requesting, hope you enjoy! ; again, apologizing for how short this is

SORRY BOYS ; auti-artistic

summary ; youre an art streamer chilling with the sorry boys

warnings ; language

word count ; 504

masterlist

You were currently live with Tommy and Phil at your sides, watching you draw. You usually streamed when you were working out the blocks for your upcoming comic, wanting to get some outside opinions from friends and chat as you worked.

Charlie and Ranboo's voices hung in your head over the Discord call, where you'd repeat their words to Tommy and Phil as they talked. Those two were streaming some weird simulation game, so you were listening to them babble with your volume on 10 as you worked, more so listening to Phil and Tommy. The blondes were giving you suggestions, compliments, and were talking about some movie they'd recently watched together.

You place your pen back down on the iPad screen, coloring in the blocks as you worked. You had numerous amounts of pallettes to make sure all the colors were correct, plus it made life easier in the long run.

"No, no, no!" Tommy waves his finger dangerously close in front of Phil's face, "That movie sucked. The dad can kiss my ass!"

"The dad was trying to save his kids, Tom!"

"By shooting their mum?!"

You slowly look up at your webcam, your jaw slightly agape, eyebrows furrowed. You listen as they both blabber on and on, talking about whatever plot there was to this random apocolypse movie that they'd seen.

"What are you talking about...?" You finally ask, looking slightly back and up at Tommy.

"Explaining to Phil about how he's wrong!"

"Okay, pal"

You turn back down to your iPad, continuing to color in the boxes as you had been. You flinch and push yourself back in your desk, hearing Charlie and Ranboo both scream into your ears.

"Jesus fuck, why are you screaming?!" You exclaim, bringing your mic closer to you to become louder.

"Charlie!-"

"No, that was your fault!"

You look over at chat, seeing some users explaining why you just got jumpscared with screams. Tommy and Phil had quieted down, looking at chat as well.

"No way you got that scared over a game." You deadpan at your webcam, knowing one of them had your stream up.

"Don't give me that look!" Charlie exclaims, "These ghosts are fucking scary, Y/n!"

"That's not my problem." You joke before deafening. The Discord ping rings in your ears before you're greeted by silence.

Tommy blinks before looking down at you. "So, like, what happened?"

"Some ghost scared them." You shrug, twirling your digital pencil in your fingers.

You glance at chat, seeing Charlie's green username and VIP star tag pop up. "tell ranboo to stop sumging them HLP ME"

You slowly nod, seeing that he was clearly typing in a rush. "Have fun with that, my guy"

Tommy chuckles, "Is he that desperate?"

"Guess so" Phil shrugs, "What are they even playing? I thought they were playing some stupid simulator game"

"No idea" You shrug, "But that gives me an idea for this comic-"

"Here we go again"

"Tommy, be supportive"

"I am supportive, I'm a fifth gay!"

[stellar-haikyuu]

on the wings of love ☆ tanaka ryuunosuke & nishinoya yuu x reader

synopsis: reader is an absolute disaster of a lesbian. she’s been wondering how to tell her friends, but she quickly learns she has nothing to worry about despite a hilarious misunderstanding. details: coming out to your friends, comedy, ~1.3k words, f! reader. platonic friendship w/ tanaka and noya. original character for the reader's love interest. warnings: none! just a fun attempt to write gay panic and spread my haikyuuri agenda.

(from left to right: love interest, reader, love interest's twin brother)

“I swear, there’s something different about you,” Tanaka narrows his eyes, leaning into your personal space. You can count the crumbs clinging to his shirt from lunch.

You roll your eyes, planting a firm hand on his forehead to push him back.

“What are you talking about? We’re just eating lunch. Chill out.”

“Noya, tell me I’m not seeing things,” he pouts, swiveling dramatically toward his partner-in-crime.

Nishinoya tilts his head, staring at your face. His lips press into a thoughtful pout before he finally hums. “She seems happier—well, at least before you annoyed her.”

“Hey-” Tanaka protests.

“But maybe it’s because we started eating lunch together more.” He nudges your shoulder. “Right?”

You sigh, but your lips betray you with a small, reluctant smile. “Yeah, yeah.”

The boys light up at your response. But the peace doesn’t last long. Tanaka starts rambling about Karasuno’s third-year manager.

“Ooohh, did you see Kiyoko-san this morning? She was wearing a new…”

You start to tune him out automatically, nodding along out of habit. Well, you don’t blame your friends, really. Their manager was stunning, after all.

But unfortunately, someone else was taking up the space in your mind.

Futakami Rinka.

She stood with the easy grace of someone who knew how to command attention without asking for it.

Calm, cool, collected. 

Your crush barely floats through your mind before Tanaka’s face suddenly appears inches from your own, nearly making you drop your chopsticks.

“See. See. I told you,” Tanaka’s pointer finger in your line of sight snaps you out of your thoughts.

“What?” You snap, glaring at him.

“You’ve been smiling at nothing!” he accuses.

“Can’t a girl just be happy?”

“Of course! But who is making you happy?” Tanaka’s squint deepens.

Nishinoya gasps dramatically, smacking the table. “You have a crush, don’t you?”

And there it is. You groan inwardly. 

Here we go.

“Classmate?”

“Teammate?”

“Someone we know?”

“Stop it. It’s no one,” you insist.

“You’re lying!”

“Come on, at least tell us your type!”

“No!”

“We won’t stop until you tell us!”

“Yeah! Tell us, tell us!”

Their voices grow louder with each demand, drawing curious stares from nearby students. 

You slap your hands on the table, hissing through clenched teeth, “Shut up, you two! Fine. Gray hair.”

The room falls silent. For a moment.

“Suga-san?”

“What? No! Not your third-year setter!”

The boys exchange glances, wheels turning furiously in their heads.

“That’s too hard, come on!”

You exhale sharply. “Guys, there’s literally a few people in our grade who have-”

“Futakami-san?”

You freeze, involuntarily confirming their guess.

“I’m not surprised.”

What? Did they know this whole time?

“He is attractive...”

Oh. 

Oh no. Not-

“Uh,” you attempt to interject, but the floodgates have already opened.

“Oooh, so he’s your type?”

“Ah, she likes those really mysterious guys.”

“Remind me, is he on a sports team?”

“Guys-”

“I don’t know. Wait, he has good grades too, right?”

“Oh yeah, he seems a little nerdy too.”

“Ah. Like Tsukishima-kun. But not as annoying.”

“Pfft!”

“Tanaka, Noya-”

“That’s so weird. What class is Futakami-san in again?”

Just as you open your mouth to set the record straight, a familiar voice cuts through the chaos.

“Uh, excuse me?”

You turn around so fast that you nearly give yourself whiplash. 

Oh. Oh my gosh.

“Futakami-san!” You greet with a smile, attempting to mask your inner panic. 

However, her name comes out too sharp and loud. Your brain had failed to coordinate with your mouth.

The boys immediately look at the new visitor, though they’re visibly confused when they see someone else.

You sincerely hope she heard nothing from your conversation.

“Hi,” she says, her tone smooth and composed. “Do you have a minute to talk?”

“O-of course!” Your answer burst out before she’d even finished the question. 

Calm down!

“I ran into Sato-sensei earlier,” she begins, pushing a gray strand behind her ear. “She forgot that Irina-san will still be in Tokyo until next week. For a leadership camp thing. You were assigned in a trio for the project, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Great. Sensei asked me if it’s alright for us to be paired together for the project instead.”

It’s so hard to take your eyes off her lips that you nearly forget to respond to what she just said.

Wait.

“Oh- uh, the both of us?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s uh, cool?” Your pitch spikes embarrassingly high, forcing you to clear your throat. “I’m, very much- um, I’m looking forward to it.”

“Me too,” she says, a flicker of amusement in her eyes. “So, I was wondering if you’d like to come over to our house this Saturday to work on it.”

“Wh-me?” You barely manage to croak out, your throat suddenly dry.

“Yes.” She tilts her head slightly, her gaze unwavering. “Ah, unless you’re busy-”

“No! No. Not at all.” The words rush out. “But are you, uh, um…it won’t be a hassle for you?”

Her smile softens. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure my brother doesn’t bother us.”

The casual mention of her brother sends a jolt through you, and you are suddenly aware of the two sets of eyes burning into your back.

“Ha, well not that he would. He usually stays in his room when I have friends over. So, don’t worry about it!”

“Oh…okay. I- yeah.”

She hums for a moment, thinking about what to say next.

“Are you feeling alright?”

“Huh?” You blink, her question catching you off guard.

“You’ve been stumbling over your words a little more than usual,” she notes, her tone light but observant.

“Oh- uh…” Heat rushes to your cheeks as you scramble for a coherent response. “I have, haven’t I? Yeah.” You laugh to fill the silence. “Uh-”

Then, before you can process what’s happening, she leans forward and her hand brushes your forehead.

Your brain short-circuits.

“Ah! What-”

“Sorry,” she apologizes in a low tone.  “Didn’t mean to scare you. I thought maybe you weren’t feeling well.”

“Uh, I’m not sick, don’t worry!” You want to melt.

“That’s good.” She smiles, standing up straight. “Maybe the science test got to you. Tough one, wasn’t it?”

You seize the excuse like a lifeline. 

“Yeah. That’s it. I’ve lost my vocabulary. Wasted it all on those compound names.”

What the hell is wrong with me?

Futakami chuckles softly. “Okay. Well, I’m sure you’ll get it back once we work on our project. See you later!”

“See you, Futakami-san.”

“Ah, just call me Rinka.”

Your heart leaps into your throat.

“Sure. Sure, Rinka. Uh, you can call me by my first name, too.”

She tests it out, her voice wrapping around your name like a melody. 

With one last farewell, she leaves the classroom. You slump back in your chair.

“So…you’re going over to his house, huh?” Tanaka says with a sly grin.

“You idiots. You got the wrong Futakami!” You hiss.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s the female twin I like!” You bury your face in your hands.

Your table goes silent.

“Wait, really?”

“Is that why you went all weird?”

“Yes,” you say in a much softer voice. Their voices lack the teasing tone from earlier.

They wouldn’t be weirded out, right?

You all stare at each other for a few more seconds before Tanaka barks out a laugh.

“Well, why didn’t you say so?” 

You glare at him. “I was trying to.” 

“Really?” Nishinoya blinks at you.

“You guys just kept on talking!”

“Oh gosh,” Tanaka was wiping tears from his eyes. “You’re actually a mess.”

“That’s bold coming from you,” you retort. “Pass your literature exam first.”

“Harsh,” Nishinoya clicks his tongue.

“Uhuh, that goes for you too.”

“Damn exam,” Tanaka mutters. “Forget that, we need to make sure you get the love of your life!” 

“Yeah, yeah, we’re gonna be your wingmen.”

“My wingmen? I don’t know if I should be terrified.”

“Pssh, don’t be!” Nishinoya waves a hand.

“Let’s start planning after practice. Ask the team for opinions.”

“What-”

“Yeah, let’s do it! Ask Saeko nee-san too!”

You sigh, knowing the damage was done. But you wouldn’t trade your best friends for anything in the world.

masterlist

[archangeldyke-all]

I Had a major setback in life and I’m just really down on my luck and hope. Could you maybe right a conforming Sevika fic?

of course, i hope you're doing alright! i know how frustrating and discouraging major setbacks can be, love you babe <3

men and minors dni

she doesn't make you talk. she knows you're upset.

she just holds you while you cry, then holds you some more when you've cried all your tears out. she's just as upset as you are. she doesn't understand how the world can be so unfair to someone so perfect, and she hates seeing you so sad.

still, there's nowhere she'd rather be than right beside you, pressing kisses into your hair and slowly stroking your back.

"you want me to tell you how much i love you and how it's gonna be okay or you want me to be quiet?" she asks after a while. you giggle, it's watery through your tears, and consider her question. she's so sweet for asking. she knows that sometimes words don't help.

but tonight, you want to hear her voice.

"talk, please." you whisper. she presses one more kiss to your head then starts to speak.

"fuck baby, i'm so sorry." she mumbles against your head. "this sucks so bad. it's so unfair." you nod against her, closing your eyes and focusing on the low rumble of her voice in her chest. "you're going to be okay, though, you know. you're gonna be great. it's just gonna look a little different than you thought it would." she whispers.

you take a shaky breath, nodding again. sevika considers her next words for a few minutes, and you let her, enjoying the way she's scratching your scalp.

she sighs, then clears her throat. "i love you so much. you're so strong."

"i don' feel strong." you mumble, wiping snot off your face. she chuckles.

"you are, though. strong, and smart, and brave. and, you've got a great ass and i could stare at your face for days but... that's not the point." she shakes her head to re-gain focus. you giggle. "and you really are going to be amazing. even if it doesn't feel like it right now."

you fall asleep in her arms. when you wake up two hours later, sevika's still drawing patterns in your back, whispering intermittent 'i love you's against your head.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @vikasub @glass-apothecary @m0numents @macaroni676 @vixel352

[arlana-likes-to-write]

Second Chance - Chapter 13

Masterlist

Warning: small amount of angst (talking about death, past trauma), mostly fluff, swearing, gay panic(both reader and Yelena are in love your honor)

Note: This has been my favorite chapter I've written so far this story.

Word Count: 3.5k

You understood why people rode motorcycles. There was no way to hear your thoughts over the engine’s roar. The whipping wind covered your arms and legs in goosebumps. As you swerved through traffic or made turns, your heart would pound. It was freeing. Yelena slowed down to a stop at a red light. “How are you doing, Easton?”

“Good,” you smiled. “Where are you taking me? You aren’t kidnapping me, right?”

“If I were, I would not tell you. That would be very dumb,” you rolled your eyes and pinched her sides. She yelped as the light turned. “You are so annoying.” You giggled and held onto her as she took off. This was oddly nice. At the moment, you weren’t a girl trying to beat a deadly disease. You were just a girl on the back of a motorcycle with no care.

*

“You brought me to an aquarium,” you said, a little shocked as you took the helmet off. Yelena helped you off the bike. Your legs were a little shaky.

“Yeah, you like to draw animals, so I thought it was a good idea,” she busied herself with locking up the bike, but you liked the blush that covered her cheeks. “If you want to go somewhere else, we can.”

“No!” You cringed at how aggressive that sounded. Yelena stood up with her eyebrows to her hairline. “I’d-” your phone started to ring and cut you off. Sighing, you pulled out your phone. It was Tony. You stared at it, weighing the options in your head. Either answer it and explain you’ll be back at the tower later or ignore the car, text him that the doctor’s appointment went well, and tell him you’ll talk later. You chose the latter and sent him a quick text. “I’d love to go with you,” you said to Yelena. “I may fact, ramble, so tell me to shut up if I’m annoying.” Yelena smiled.

“Never, I like listening to you talk.” It was your turn to heat up.

“Oh,” your voice cracked. Goodness, this woman was trying to kill you. Yelena chuckled and offered you her arm.

“Come on, Easton, let’s see if you know your stuff.”

*

“What the fuck is that?” Yelena asked, staring into the tank. You smacked her chest at her language as you saw some kids nearby. She looked offended, but you pointed at the kids. Rolling her eyes, she looked back at the creature.

“It’s an Atlantic sturgeon,” there was no need for you to look at the plague to know what it was. It was like that for all the animals you passed.

“I think you meant dinosaur,” you laughed and shook your hand.

“You are not wrong. They are considered living fossils,” you were looking at the creature swimming around, but out of the corner of your eye, you saw Yelena watching you, hanging onto every word you said. That also happened at every exhibit. Even though you were worried you were annoying her, she reassured you weren’t and to keep talking. That was different. You went to an aquarium with some girl you met online; she found you annoying after the first exhibit. You kept quiet after that. “There are over 28 species of sturgeon, and the earliest fossil was dated to the Late Cretaceous period.” You heard Yelena mumble, ‘So dinosaur.’ You smiled and continued, “Atlantic sturgeons were abundant but have declined due to overfishing, water pollution, and habitat impediments.” The blonde frowned.

“Why do humans suck?” You laughed as you moved to the next part of the aquarium.

“I think it stems from some of us believing they are entitled to an Earth that we share,” you shrugged. You were excited to walk through the tunnel and see the sharks. According to the pamphlet, they had a few black-tip reef sharks. “But conservation efforts have made positive efforts to undo some of the damage.”

“Do you think it’s enough?” You looked at Yelena. Her eyes were on the animal in front of her, but once again, she seemed a million miles away.

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “Over time, the scars may fade away, but the memory of what happened stays,” you sighed. “I don’t think that will ever go away.” You hated the sad look on her face. You pulled her to the next area, which focused on the restoration effects that the aquarium was part of.

“However,” it was perfect timing as an employee came out with a little penguin. The area soon became filled as everyone tried to get a look at the little creature. You watched Yelena’s eyes light up as the employee set the baby down and it waddled to its parents. You glanced at the temporary sign that explained what happened. The female penguin was rescued from a fishing net. She was pregnant, and her fin had to be amputated. The aquarium staff slowly introduced her to a lone penguin that wouldn’t mate. It was the aquarium’s first same-sex couple. “Even in the darkest times, something beautiful can emerge.”

You couldn’t help but look at Yelena. The blonde caught you staring at her, and her eyes glanced down to your lips, but she focused back on the penguins. You let out a shaky breath and pushed the thought of kissing her out of your head.

*

On the third phone call, Yelena couldn’t ignore her sister anymore. “Oh, so your phone isn’t broken,” she rolled her eyes at Natasha’s teasing comment. The blonde stepped to the side while you stayed at the touch pool. You tried to get her to touch some animals, but Yelena refused to put her hand in the water. “Did you kidnap her?”

“No!” Yelena huffed. “She came with me willing,” she sighed. “Okay, that sounded like a kidnapping plot.” Her sister laughed.

“You chose the wrong day to confess your feelings to her. Stark is annoyed.” Yelena thought that man was a giant toddler. Today was going perfectly, and she wasn’t sure if she would tell you anything. You needed a day away from doctor appointments and a reminder of what would come. You needed a day to smile, laugh, and see the beauty in life. Yelena wanted to give that to you.

“Look, I have a few more planned ideas, and Stark has called her three times. Can you get him off her back?”

“Will I be the maid of honor at the wedding?”

“Suka (bitch),” Yelena mumbled as her sister laughed again. “I’m doing this because her doctor appointment was not great.” She stopped laughing immediately.

“What do you mean?” So Yelena told her everything from the lie you told, refusing to use Morgan, and the next steps for your treatment. “Fuck, okay, I’ll deal with Stark. Just enjoy the day with your girl.”

“She is not my girl,” Yelena huffed. Natasha laughed, and Yelena hung up before her sister could say anything else.

“Here,” the blonde turned around and saw you with three bags from the gift shop. You were handing one of them to her. “I got you something.”

“Easton,” she whined. “I was going to buy you something.” You rolled your eyes.

“Just take the gift, Blondie,” she snatched the bag from your hand. Deep down, her heart skipped, and she was fighting to keep a smile off her face. “The dinosaur? Seriously?” She pulled out a stuffed sea demon from earlier.

“Sturgeon,” you laughed. “There is something else in there,” Yelena grumbled and opened the bag again. At the bottom was a small jewelry box. She opened it, and there was a ring inside. It was a simple silver ring with a turtle charm. “A ring to replace the one you gave me,” you explained. “Also, they donate a small amount of the proceeds to save turtles and,” you pulled out a small piece of paper from your pocket. “Every ring has a tracking number, so go to that website and track your turtle.” Yelena smiled. The turtles were her favorite part, and the face you picked up on that made her happy.

“Thank you. You did not have to get me anything,” you smiled, looking at the ground and shrugging your shoulders.

“It’s the least I could do for you taking me here. I had a lot of fun.”

“Well, the day isn’t over yet.”

*

A quick stop at her motorcycle to put away your bags, and Yelena gave you her jacket so you could walk by the water. You were grateful for the pockets to keep your hands to yourself instead of grabbing Yelena’s. “Do you want to know something funny?” You asked her. She nodded right away. “My mom was terrified of the water. She was so shocked that I was drawn to it,” she smiled at you. “I miss her,” you admitted. “Going through this without her sucks.” You felt your throat burn as you tried to keep your tears away. “Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to make this depressing.” You saw Yelena move her hand, and she whipped away a tear that fell down your cheek.

“Do not apologize for talking about her or your condition,” she said. “It is a part of who you are.” She stopped to pick up a seashell and handed it to you. You smiled and looked it over. It was a perfect cockle with different shades of purple. “The past can be complicated to talk about.” You slipped the shell in your pant pocket. You grabbed her hand instead of putting your hands back in the jacket. She smiled at it.

“You can talk to me about your past, too,” you told her. “I won’t force you to, though.” The blonde shrugged.

“There is not much to discuss,” she said. “I was trained to be a pawn in a man’s chess game.” You read the files on the Red Room that SHIELD had, so you knew a fraction of what she went through.

“But you are free now,” she nodded and kicked up some of the sand. You walked in silence until she sighed.

“I used to live in Ohio,” she said. “With Natasha and our parents.” You stayed quiet and allowed Yelena the space and time to speak. “It was a mission crafted by the Red Room, but it was the closest thing I had to a normal life. I was six when the mission was over.” Your heart broke for her. She was far too young to be subjected to such darkness.

“I bet you were a cute kid,” you said, knowing Yelena did not want your pity.

“Oh, the cutest,” you liked the smile that was now back on her face.

“And the biggest troublemaker,” you teased. The blonde gasped.

“I was an angel, a perfect child,” you rolled your eyes and dropped her hand.

“Keep telling yourself that, Blondie,” you pushed your fingers into her side and laughed at the yelp she let out.

“You are in for it now, Easton,” you took off running and heard her race after her. You felt privileged to listen to her laughter so unguarded and unrestrained. You wanted to hear it again and again.

*

You pulled Yelena into a small store while she led you to a nearby restaurant she found online. The reason was because you saw a small sketchbook from the window. It had a collage of pictures from the area. “Don’t you have enough sketchbooks,” the blonde teased you as you walked up to the counter with your sketchbook and a pencil.

“You can never have too many sketchbooks,” you left the store with your bag in hand. “And this sketchbook will remind me of our day today.” You smiled. Yelena’s face softened, and she grabbed your hand.

“Are you going to show me what you draw in it?” You shrugged.

“Maybe, Blondie, maybe.”

That is how you found yourself at a table with Yelena, whining to see your sketchbook. You finished your appetizers and were waiting for the main course. While you ate and talked about everything and nothing, you were sketching. It was nothing special; it was just basic line work of moments from your day. Later, you could add more details and color them. There were moments you couldn’t forget. The way her eyes lit up when she saw the penguin. Her smile when you got her the ring. You wanted to remember them forever.

“Come on, Easton,” she whined for the fifth time. “Let me see them,” you rolled your eyes and closed the book.

“They aren’t even started,” you sipped on your water. “I like to sketch out sides so I don’t forget them.”

“How did you get into drawing?” You smiled.

“My great-grandmother, actually. She died before I was born. She was an artist, and I thought she was the coolest person,” you explained. “So my mom got me an art set for Christmas. I feel in love with it.” Before Yelena could respond, the waitress approached the table with food. You both thanked her, and you took a pill to help with the nausea. If Yelena saw you take it she didn’t draw attention to it.

“So, can I see?” She asked and pointed to the book. She gave you perfect puppy dog eyes. With a shake of your head, you handed it to her. You observed her face as she flipped through the first few pages. The realization that you were drawing her dawned on her, and she set the book down.

“You are drawing me,” you nodded. “Why?” You wanted to give her many compliments, but they died on your tongue.

“My nana used to tell my mom to draw what inspires you,” you shrugged and focused on your salad. It’s easy to feel inspired when I’m with you.” You heard a surprise noise that came from the back of her throat. Her cheeks were light pink. “Making you blush is kind of cute, too.” The blush on her cheeks depended.

“You are so annoying,” she mumbled, throwing her straw wrapper at you. You laughed and focused on your food. It was so easy to act like this with her. It may be too easy.

*

The view was amazing. After dinner, Yelena drove back into the city and once again refused to tell you where she was taking you. It was far from the tower even though it was past 9 o’clock. Instead, she took you to one of the high-rise apartments where a young girl was waiting for you with extra jackets and gloves to let you in. So you stood on the apartment’s roof, leaning against the railing and looking at the city skyline. “Hot chocolate for you,” Yelena said, handing you a cup. You thanked her with a smile. She stood next to you, her arm barely touching yours.

“Why did you do this?” You asked. The question had been nagging at you since dinner. She shrugged.

“I wanted to,” you face her as she sipped on her drink. Finally, she sighed. “I saw you lose a little hope today at the doctor’s. He said for you to get through the nest phase, you can not lose that so,” she sipped on her drink again. “I was hoping today you would see something to help with that.” And she was right. It was annoying how easily the Black Widow could read you. During your appointment, you didn’t lose hope; you wanted someone to fight this battle for you. You wanted someone to hug you and not tell you it would be okay because that wasn’t certain. You wanted someone to be by your side through the good, the bad, and the ugly. You wanted her. That scared the shit out of you.

“You are supposed to be looking at the view,” she teased you. You weren’t sure how to tell her that you rather look at her. This wasn’t supposed to happen. You were supposed to go through this alone to save yourself and her from the heartbreak.

Life has a funny way of testing you. Why did this disease have to bring you together? Soon, Yelena started leaning closer to you. Before your lips touched, you placed your hand on her chest to stop her. “What are you doing?” You questioned.

“I was going to kiss you,” she whispered. “Do you not want me to?” Oh, you wanted her to. You wanted to know what her lips felt like on yours or her hands on your waist. To finally feel her heartbeat against yours. But you couldn’t give her that. Instead of answering, you pulled away from her and ran inside. Running was something you excelled in. You ran from the pain of losing your mom and your friends. You ran to New York because DC reminded you too much of what was. So you went back to what you knew and ran.

“Wait,” Yelena called after you as you opened the door and threw your hot chocolate away. It was much warmer inside, and you pushed the elevator button. “Can we talk about this?”

“I don’t do this,” you pointed to the space between you and her. “While I’m going through this.” You refused to look at her.

“Because you are dying.” You nodded.

“It wouldn’t be fair to you,” the elevator opened, but Yelena stopped you from entering. “Let me go,” your voice cracked. It was pathetic how weak you sounded in your demand as if you never wanted her to let you go.

“Why do you get to decide what is fair for me?” She questioned. Finally, you looked at her. She has a determined look and a tighter grip on your hand. You’ve seen her like this only at training: determined, focused. When you stayed quiet, she continued, “I have thought about it. I understand the possible outcome, but what if you live and we wasted time because of fear,” your mouth became dry as you stared at her. “We all end up dying some sooner than others. Why should we let fear of dying stop us from living?” You licked your lips.

“I’m not afraid,” you weren’t. You told Pepper and Tony that. A small part of you was surprised you’ve lived as long as you had. You survived the car accident, the Blip, and a hurricane in the Atlantic. Still, you refused to die. It was like a bad joke that cancer was the thing that was going to kill you. Not the dangerous animals you faced, the unpredictable weather, and the less-than-safe places you visited as a solo female traveler. It was going to be cancer.

“I think you are, maybe not of death, and that is okay because I am afraid too,” she took a step closer, and your back hit the wall behind you. “But I have lost so many years because a man thought he was entitled to my body. I do not want to waste any more time.”

“I’m not afraid,” you repeated. Yelena softly smiled.

“Then prove it,” you rushed forward, your hands on her neck and your lips against hers. Her hands moved to your waist and pulled you closer to her. You could feel how fast her heart was beating, or maybe it was yours. You knew you were screwed as soon as your lips touched hers. They were soft and tasted of hot chocolate, the chapstick she used, and her dinner. You pulled away and rested your forehead against hers. You closed your eyes and tried to get your breathing under control. It was no surprise that she would leave you breathless.

“I don’t want to break your heart,” you admitted and opened your eyes. She closed them and let out a shaky breath that you felt against your lips.

“I do not want you to either,” she whispered. “But if you do, then I am glad I gave my heart to you to break.”

*

You snuck back into the tower and onto Yelena’s floor. Her hand held tightly onto yours. It was impossible not to follow her. Her apartment had a similar layout to yours but not as decorated. You had no time to look around as she dragged you into her bedroom and gave you some of her clothes to wear. Once you changed and your teeth brushed, you lay under the covers of her bed with her head on your chest. You chuckled. “What’s so funny, Easton?” She asked.

“Nothing,” you ran your fingers through her hair and felt her melt against you. “I didn’t like you’d like to be the little spoon.” You felt her tense. “Noting wrong with that,” you reassured her. “Everyone deserves some cuddles.” Yelena sighed, and you felt her fingers grab your free hand.

“I like listening to your heartbeat,” she whispered. “It is comforting.” Who would have thought that a Black Widow was such a softie? You smiled and kissed her head.

“Thank you for today,” you said. “I forgot how much I miss enjoying life with another person.” She stayed quiet, and that was okay. You figured today was a lot for the blonde, but the silence was comforting and less lonely.

_

Taglist: @likemick, @averagetmblrusser, @wandaromamoff69, @simpforyelenabelova, @cd-4848,

[jamdoughnutmagician]

New Year's Eve Kisses.

Steve Harrington x Reader (Fluff)

Just a short and fluffy NYE drabble with Steve, heavily based on this scene from Friends

Posting this a little early but whatever 🤷‍♀️

Word Count:668

Masterlist / Steve Harrington Masterlist.

The party is in full swing with everyone gathered in Steve’s house for a new year’s eve celebration. There’s banners, decorations and food and drink aplenty as all the party-goers stand around chatting in their groups.

“Yes! ‘87 baby! It’s finally going to be my year, Harrington. I can feel it!” Eddie beams brightly, his wide smile stretching across his face.

“Good luck, man.” Steve cheered back, clapping a hand on his shoulder. 

“We’re both happy for you, Ed.” you smile at your friend, although you wish you could share his enthusiasm about the new year drawing to a close.

You and Steve had been only dating for a few months, and Eddie was the only one who knew about you two. An unfortunate moment where he accidentally caught you both making out in a dark corner in The Hideout one time. Truth be told, Eddie didn’t think too much about it until he saw you leave the bar hand-in-hand with a matching pair of smiles on either of your faces.

Eddie noticed how your smile didn’t fully reach your eyes, and a worry set it’s place in his chest.

“Hey, what’s the matter?”  

“We wanted to kiss at midnight, but nobody else is going to, so we can’t either.” you explain with a sad tone in your voice.

“Don’t worry about that, sweetheart.” Eddie says with a nod. “Just let your old pal Eddie sort it all out.” he tells you all too confidently. 

Eddie makes his way over to Robin where she is already enthusiastically beginning to countdown the seconds until midnight.

“33! 32! 31-” 

“-Hey Rob-” Eddie interrupts. “Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Chrissy or Nancy?”

“What?” she replies in confusion.

“You gotta kiss somebody. You’re gay, so you’re not gonna kiss Steve.” Eddie explains further.

“So who’s going to kiss Steve?” 

“Y/N is.”

“Really?” She smirks, cocking her head to the side.

“Look, who would you rather have kiss Steve, me or y/n Eddie says with a quirked eyebrow.

“Oh definitely Y/n.” she decides all too quickly. “I suppose I’ll kiss Chrissy.”

“That’s great!” he smiles at her, with a pat on her shoulder before moving his way around the party.

“Hey Chrissy!” Eddie shouts over to her above the music. “Robin’s going to kiss you at midnight!”

“Oh okay! Sounds good!” her cheeks flush pink at the idea of kissing that cute girl from the school’s band that she’d had a secret crush on for a while.

“Nance! Nance!” Eddie shouts, getting her attention as he makes his way towards her. “I’m going to kiss you at midnight, okay?”

“What?” she shakes her head, her dark curls bouncing as she does.

“Everybody’s kissing someone, so I’m going to kiss you. Plus you can’t kiss Steve, you two have that whole weird history going on.”

“And?” she shakes her head once more, as if she wasn’t quite following what Eddie was putting forward.

“Besides, Jonathan’s not here, so who would you rather have kiss you, me or Robin?”  Eddie asks, with a confident nod of his head.

“Robin’s lovely, but I just don’t swing that way.” She confesses.

“Great.” Eddie smiles.

The countdown to midnight draws closer and closer as everyone gathers by the television in Steve’s living room.

“3! 2! 1! Happy New Year!!” Everyone cheers, as they hug and peck the lips of their respective New years eve partners.

You wind your arms around Steve’s neck to bring him closer as his hands find their home on your hips, giving you a gentle and reassuring squeeze.

 Steve leans in close to you, his lips softly brushing against yours in a sweet kiss. 

“Happy New Year, Honey.”

“Happy New Year, Stevie.” you smile back at him, your eyes sparkling with love for the boy in front of you.

You couldn’t be more happy to have your Stevie in your life, and sharing a kiss with him at midnight was the perfect way to ring in the new year.

@itsfreakingbats @penguinsandpotterheads @xxhellfirebunnyxx @onegirlmanytales @reidsbtch @willowsgrl @mrsjellymunson

[sweetshelluvaau]

Taking a break from doing Helluva Boss redesigns to do some Hazbin Hotel ones because my brain was screaming inside telling me to draw Lilith which ended up be deciding to drawing Lucifer as well! I Also finished up my redesign of Charlie but I'm gonna give them their own dedicated post

Like always, notes under the cut. Drawn in Clip Studio Paint and with Photoshop CS6 for final touches. Okay to reblog, Feedback is encourage.

About the canon designs and personalities:

Lucifer: Honestly, I don't mind Lucifer's design too much outside of the fact it falls under the typical Viziziepop's Twink she likes to draw. I do think overall, the Ringleader idea she was going for is there, sorta. That being said: I have it out for that top hat. Not necessarily the fact he's wearing one he's one of the few characters I don't mind wearing one more than the accessories with it. Between the stupid crown, snake and apple it just...doesn't work for me.

As for his portrayal in the show: I happen to like Lucifer in Hazbin I think he's a fun character even though I do have problems as I'm about to address. Jeremy Jordan seemed like one of the few voice actors that sounded like he was having fun playing his character suppose to just being there for a paycheck (I mean, he was there for that but still). I know people complain that he sounds too young which I do agree I do think Jordan could have gave him a slightly deeper voice along with his design looking as if he was a bit older; but considering that he's over, what? Eons years old with an angelic background, I'll give it a pass.

I'm iffy on his backstory, or at least how it's handled in the show. Lucifer being an 'innocent' dreamer with good intentions doesn't necessarily bother me too much and his punishment for giving humanity freewill has an irony to it so no problems there. However I do have problems with how as the character that's suppose to be the cause of all sin, the fucking Devil himself and the ruler of Hell; isn't treated like such. Yeah I know he misses his wife Tails, he misses her a lot but c'mon man, you're the King of Hell and The Sin of Pride! In the pilot he seemed to have a more sinister, or at the least threating presence from the little we saw of him.

Also, you took the Pride out of the Sin of Pride? Where's his bite? What are you doin' Viv!?

This is a problem I have with Helluva as well where the Sins, or at least the case for Bee and Ozzie season two onward is that the show is too afraid to make even the more lax, 'nicer' of the Sins not being threating or a bit of dicks sometimes Mammon withstanding because Vivienne is worried that she'll risk them coming across as unlikeable which is bullshit considering how people love asshole characters when they're written right or are fun. Helluva's Mammon is proof right there the fandom love him and Ozzie, as brief as it was in Season One had a banger of a 'villain' song where he and Fizz drag three of the main cast member's sex lives just because he fucking can and says he dislikes 'lovely dovey' crap which is a bit hypocritical considering how much he smitten with his Jester Boyfriend (You two were all touchy and that nuzzle at the end they aren't fooling anyone lol) why did you take away their bite and turned Fizz into such a wimp I miss my little chaotic gay gremlin man... but I'm getting a head of myself.

I don't mind Lucifer and by extension the Sins themselves NOT being evil; in fact I like the idea of them being morality dubious/having questionable morality along with them having a bit of 'humanity' to them, makes them more interesting as characters, but to take away their bite or having 'good' sins and 'bad' sins (ranted about that here) just sounds like a cheap copout and takes away any nuance to the whole idea of sin to begin with being how Hazbin is suppose to be a story about redemption and if a sinner CAN be redeemed. Granted a poorly constructed story that misses the mark horribly, but I digest.

Overall, I do like Lucifer as a character but I wouldn't have 'woobified' him if that makes sense.

Lilith: Her design is...meh. Her dress is pretty, sure; but it's like a normal ballgown. I like the idea of the horns.

...That's all I got to say honestly.

Since we don't know much about her personality in the show yet outside of hints that she 'thrived' in Hell and her and Lucifer were separated by the time the story happened, there's not much for me to say on this front. Prior to the show dropping (or maybe just the pilot), Vivienne hinted that they were gonna have a Gomez and Morticia dynamic going on so consider me disappointed that this ended up not being the case. Damn, would I have killed to have them be this happily married power couple because let's be real: You can't be a powerful badass King without your equality powerful badass Queen, am I right? XD I'd eat that shit up!

I honestly fear Lilith in the show is going to end up being Stella 2.0 which I hope isn't the case but considering Vivienne's writing I don't have much faith she'll be anything but. Maybe not as bad, but yeah...

Anyways, on to the redesigns and character changes:

Lucifer: I said before that I'm not really going with the circus theme in my rewrite/au. I do think on paper the "Hell is a circus' is interesting, fun concept but that's been barely, if at all utilized in Hellaverse outside of a poorly done aesthetic, but it's not the direction I personality want to go with. I may still play with the whole circus thing with the Happy Hotel itself, but otherwise...yeah, right, redesign.

I knew from the beginning I wanted to give him a more darker color scheme along with adding purple into his outfit because purple = Pride so I settled on a dark purple, red and gold/bronze combo. I was debating if I should have scraped his top hat or not being how Hellaverse made me me have it out agasist tops hats like almost every other male character has a fucking top hat there's other kinds of hats but at the end of the day I decided to keep it though he doesn't always wear it. I did draw him without the hat as well which you can view towards the end of the post. I kept the apple motif he has going and while I didn't do much with his cane, I did add a snake which yes, is alive. That's his pet Temptation and he loves her very much.

Outfit inspiration:

Personality wise it's very similar to what it is in the show but taken in a bit more darker direction. Think overdramatic theater kid meet rebellious somewhat edgy adult who hasn't grown out of his teenage years (that's not saying he doesn't act like an adult he does but he has that 'whimsical' nature to him where he sometimes won't take things seriously or refuses to take responsibility though there are moments where he does have to 'Swallow his Pride' so to speak).

I also made him much more Prideful because he's the Sin of Pride, duh. This man will fight tooth and nail to prove that he's in the right (a trait that Charlie also shares) because his ego and pride won't let him rest and he's not going to back down DAMN IT!!. Lilith and/or a few of the Sins (Satan, Beelzebub and Ozzie respectfully) have to reel him in so he doesn't do anything stupid and make an ass out of himself more than he already has.

However, just because he is a prideful prick a good portion of the time doesn't mean he doesn't have his moments of genuine compassion and love for those who are important in his life. He loves his family, daughter included despite how unsupportive and very passive aggressive in regard to believing that her plan is dead in the water and has no problem addressing those thoughts in a 'tough love' kind of way (or what he believes is tough love when it's reality he's coming across as him just beating her down and making them drift even father apart as if they already slowly weren't. As I said, he's very prideful when he believes he's right) and views most of the other Sins minus Leviathan as his firends/true companions though some are much closer to him than others.

I kept most of his backstory in the show the same where he had some good intentions of gifting humanity freewill but also at the same time did it out of rebellion towards his father (God) after falling for Lilith and believing that everything that made her...well her (her freewill, sprit, strength) should be given to every human only for it to backfire and bring evil and sin in the world annnnd we know how this story goes. (otr I have both Eve AND Adam eat from the apple and Lilith had nothing to do with the whole thing but was punished regardless for 'influencing' Samael regardless if she pushed him or not) There was still a Heaven and Hell war but that doesn't happen until much later in the timeline once Hell gains the power and means to declare such on Heaven, only for them to lose in the end. The Exterminations has something to play with the outcome of the war but that's a discussion for another time.

Lilith:

Putting aside I didn't want both Lilith and Lucifer to have the same hair color (one of the reasons why I didn't also make Luci's hair red after he fell, even if that was more canon biblically correct), I wanted Lilith to be a red head like she is in biblical stories. I also made her skin a bit darker. I was aiming for an olive skin tone but not sure if I successfully succeeded in that.

Lilith still has her horns but I made them much smaller. They expand/grow bigger when she's enraged or goes into her full demon form where her eyes also glow and her nails turn into long, sharp blade like talons. I plan on drawing her demon form along with the rest of the Morningstars later down the line. I also gave her animal ears which I may revisit later being that was a last second addition. I wanted to give Luci or Lilith hooves as well but I didn't think about it after the drawings were done. (likely will give Luci them)

Dress inspiration:

As for personality and overall character changes go: Well for starters, Both Lilith and Lucifer are a happily married power couple like we were lead on to believe and I WILL NOT TAKE NO FOR AN AWSNER!!

As I said earlier, we still don't know much about Lilith as a character in the show outside of the fact she thrived in Hell and influenced demonkind but never said of what that entailed. I'm still keep those elements of course, having her be a beacon for the Hellborn and establishing connections and business with a good share of the Overlords in Pride, especially with the more 'lesser evil' Sinner ones. Lilith is the one who normally engages with Sinners on large where Lucifer rather avoid them as much as possible with a few exceptions being how he blames them for why he ended up down in Hell to begin with considering he did believe they'd do good with the 'gift' he gave them, only to be proven wrong and him having to suffer seeing the worst of humanity as punishment.

Personality wise, Lilith is a strong willed, go getter who wants nothing but the best for her family, firends and citizens. She involves herself heavily in the politics of Hell while also hoping to inspire her people, Hellborn and Sinners alike. Soft but strong, caring but stern; playful but serious when she has to be, Lilith wears her title on her sleeve as the Queen of Hell and a mother and friend to those who look up to her.

Like Charlie and unlike her husband, Lilith sees the good in humanity. She was human herself after all, deemed the first Sinner but she's more indirect and hands off with her methods where Charlie wants to be more hands on and direct with her hotel idea. Lilith tries to guild her daughter the best she can but tries to persuade her that her plans for the Happy Hotel may not have the effect she hopes, even as supportive she is of her daughters' ideals.

Lilith has succubus like powers but isn't one herself; however she does work with Asmodeus to train those who do go up topside to spread sin.

Charlie may be the Hellish couple's first child but it wasn't the first time Lilith tried conceive; Charlie was the only one who made it fully to term.

Lilith is much taller than Lucifer, while Charlie is only slightly taller than her father.

I'm going to likely revisit their redesigns in the future because there are a few things I would like to change/add on to but overall this is the direction I plan on going for them. I know this post was long and if you happened to read though all of this: Thank you for reading~

Charlie's redesign will be next being I finished her for a while now I just need to write out my notes. Hopefully this weekend it'll be up.

Bonus, Lucifer without his hat:

[healingagoddess]

Have you seen that picture of the cast that's like "gay high school kid hanging out with the entire english department during lunch"? well I kinda thought of this when I saw it but I'm shy...

-

"Miss Harkness?"

Agatha made sure to draw her head up and lean it against the back of the chair. She flicked the page of her magazine letting it fall slowly (drama queen). "Yes...William."

But he took no offense. He anticipated the needless display of annoyance, could even take it for what it was--all show. "I made those copies you wanted and delivered them to the bio lab."

Miss Harkness gave him one more drawn look before lowering her feet from the coffee table, slapping the low heels of her boots on the laminate flooring. "And you want your next mission, I assume."

The young man slid the rest of his lanky body into the teacher's lounge. Despite being told he was allowed - while he was shadowing her! - he still held a respect for the space that was not his as a student. "Miss Kale told me to come find you."

Miss Harkness rolled her eyes. "She didn't have anything for you?"

He shook his head. "She told me to tell you to stop 'using the children as your personal gophers'."

Agatha finally rose form her chair, letting her magazine fall to the floor without a care. She had the time to mimic the cadence of the words with a high, whiny voice as she dumped out what he presumed was an old, forgotten coffee. "Fine, Teen, back to the dungeon."

She meant her classroom at the other end of the building. Miss Harkness famously referred her classroom being the furthest from the teachers' lounge as banishment. She would sing a little song about walking the witches' road on her way.

It did kind of slap.

William kept pace with her. She walked with a fierceness to her, but she was actually shorter than her body language would say. She swung her legs ahead of her, hands in her pockets. "And how are your other classes going?"

"Good, I think," he volunteered readily. He kept his hands half balled into fists at his sides. "Miss Calderu said she liked my last report, although I think she forgot what book it was on."

"Sounds like that kook," she laughed under her breath. A roaming pack of younger students bustled past them, jostling each other loudly. She didn't turn her head but snapped her fingers, "watch it!"

The rowdy kids gave her a look but ultimately did calm their movements as they continued on. William turned his head from them and back to his chosen mentor. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Get them to listen to you," he gestured vaguely behind them as they continued their walk to the stairwell. "Every time I see Miss Gulliver say something they kind of...don't listen to her."

"Wu-Gulliver is young, and she's too nice." He wasn't so sure that was a bad thing, but Agatha continued. "Respect is one thing, but you really want these hoodlums to listen, they need just a little bit of fear."

William tried not to let it show that he wasn't sure how the 5'5'' and slight woman beside him was scary. He'd heard her yell, sure, it was a thing to behold. But scary?

"Don't blow a gasket thinking so hard, Billy-Boy," Agatha laughed fully, snorting a little in the middle of it. "You don't need to look tough to be scary. Even a divine being such as myself can earn a reputation. Look at Miss Vidal."

Now, that, was intriguing. William did his best to seem uninterested. "What about her?"

Agatha remained quiet until they were able to walk past the devil's classroom in question. It was decorated for Halloween, despite it being November. It was just always decorated that way.

There was still some time left for lunch hour, but she was watching over some detentions; Miss Vidal always had the highest number of disciplinary cases. And she struck true, genuine fear into anyone unlucky enough to catch her eye.

Even with the door closed, it was easy to hear her slap her desk and bellow, "you talking? You little rats utter a single word while you're in here and I'll have you write each other's eulogies."

William tried not to squirm. Miss Vidal was on the younger side for the staff, and in the beginning of the year, most tried to take advantage of that. But she immediately proved that she was not to be pushed around. "How does she get away with saying stuff like that? Aren't there, like, rules about what teachers can say?"

Agatha shrugged, watching through the door window as the teacher within found it necessary to get up from her desk and walk over to her wards. "Yeah, but it only really matters if a parent complains. And she's got a stack of complaints as high as you, bean pole."

William rolled his eyes just to himself. "If she's got so many complaints, why is she still teaching here?"

Again, Agatha shrugged it off, But she adjusted herself to watch as much of the show as she could, positively glued to the back of the Spanish teacher with her eyes. "None of 'em stick. She's new but she came here from the district. She's not exactly out on her ass even if the school does fire her just for the public optics."

So, she had less to lose, could risk more. That actually made sense. Miss Calderu had been at the school the longest, and she was always nice to the kids. Miss Kale was a teacher for a day job, but she always talked about how she ran a skincare business at the weekend markets and online and stuff. Miss Gulliver did her best as the music teacher, even for kids not interested in it, but he was pretty sure her mom was famous or something.

"What do you have to lose?"

Agatha got this wild kind of look in her eyes. He could see a hint of that scariness she kept mentioning, but there was something else in there. He could see something kind of sad, fragile almost.

"I-I-I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"What?!"

William jumped out of his own skin as the door whipped open without any warning whatsoever. He hadn't even heard her walk towards the door. "I-I'm sorry Miss Vidal!"

Agatha didn't twitch. She didn't blink, she didn't move, she didn't breathe. Her hands were still in her pockets, and this grin came over her. "Come on, Rio, I came to show the kid the way real teachers get it done."

Miss Vidal's eyes were scary. She was completely blank in expression, like if he tried to read her mind it would just be haunted house screaming. "Leave him with me if you really want him to learn what it takes to teach."

William blinked as he found himself being pushed back. It was only an inch or two, but he looked down to find Miss Harkness had put her forearm up to lean on the door frame, putting herself between him and Miss Vidal, even just by a hair. It almost seemed protective.

"Easy, Tiger," she smiled at the younger teacher, "I've still got stuff to get in his head. You can have a go at him later--if he asks."

Miss Vidal shifted as well, looking at him with wide eyes. It reminded him of when a cat would stare into his soul. It seemed innocent, but there was something menacing about it. "Fine, but I'll get my hands on him eventually, Agatha."

"Hm," Agatha pursed her lips at her before leaning up and away, somewhat elbowing him back with her. She put her hands back into her pockets, "te veo."

The Spanish teacher looked impressed, and maybe entertained. She put her hand on the doorknob again, nodding cordially as well, "Querida."

William followed Miss Harkness, once again on the 'witches' road' to her classroom. He was almost 100% completely, totally sure that he had witnessed some hardcore flirting happening. But that couldn't be, because that would be insane. Miss Harkness and Miss Vidal?

"Whatever you're thinking, think it quieter, Kaplan."

The sharp and biting remark was much more what he expected. So much so, that he was able to shake off the odd exchange and smile again. "Why did you agree to let me shadow you?"

Agatha, like before, made sure to inhale really long, and exhale even longer. She needed him to know how annoyed she was by the question. "Why didn't you ask to shadow Mommy-Dearest?"

He gave her a look. She gave it right back to him. "Being teacher's pet is different. I wanna learn."

"You can learn from any of the bitches in here, kid. Teachers love a little pet--makes the rest of them easier to manage."

"Why?"

"Because you become a traitor to them, that's why," she interjected sharply. She clapped her heels together on the floor, angling her shoulders toward him. The light caught on the brass of her locket. "They resent you for it. But if you want something, then you pursue it, doesn't matter if the masses think differently of you, understand? If you're smart, if you're sharp, if you're talented?--the world recognizes stuff like that. And you should take your handful or someone else will take it from you. Am I clear?"

Okay, maybe she was a little scary (just a little). "Yes, Miss Harkness."

Her eyes changed again. That shiny shield she always had ready at a moment's notice receded again and her eyes took on a warmer hue. It was this change that always reassured him that he had chosen the right mentor (no matter how much she had discouraged him at first).

"Down, down, down the road," she mumbled mildly as she started walking again.

"Agatha!" Missus Davis - who Agatha constantly called Mrs. Hart by mistake - poked her head out of her own room. "Stop saying 'bitch' around the students!"

"Tend your own flowers, Sharon!"

I'm sorry it took me a moment to respond. I've had a lot of work lately. 😭

But thank you so much for blessing my ask box with this masterpiece. I love me an english teacher. I'd also want to be Agatha's pet. This is so good. Don't be shy, come on out and share your ideas with everyone. Your writing is also really good. You'd have a fan (me) if you do decide to post sometime.

I love that you added Sharon into this, I was so excited to see her on the show. Everybody was perfect. How did you like it?

[davycoquette]

Writerly Questionnaire

I got tagged back in my own questionnaire (tysm @saturnine-saturneight), so here we go!

By the way, if you see this and feel up to answering it, please do! I’d also love if you tagged me in your response so I can be sure to read it!

Smol trigger warning for mentions of various tough things.

About You

When did you start writing? I’ve been writing since I could hold a pen, quite frankly! As a toddler, I’d draw doodles then scrawl zig zags beneath to represent the “words” of the illustrated story. They became real words as I learned to read. I was never found without a notebook.

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write? I read a lot of stuff I don’t think I could ever actually write. My all-time favorite author is Cormac McCarthy, followed by Jane Austen and Jack London. Larry McMurtry is becoming a fast favorite. My stories tend to require less lived experience. I am not well traveled or thoroughly educated, so, while I’m happy to do research, I most often write stuff that requires less expertise. I also write more about gay cowboys than any of the authors named above — at least as far as is publicly known.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared? I have been compared to Chuck Palahniuk, which is enormously flattering (if not deserved!) It’s massively important to me to have my own style/voice, so I don’t want to write like anyone but me… but I would love one day to harness even a modicum of McCarthy’s talent.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.) At a desk or coffee shop. The stars must align just so, my mood must be just so, I must have creative juices flowing and absolutely no distractions or particularly strong feelings. (I end up not writing anything more often than not.)

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse? I wish I knew. Inspiration hits me light a lightning bolt once in a blue moon. Other than that, maladaptive daydreaming watching head movies. Music is an excellent source of muse.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about? Absolutely. In a way that reminds me a bit of Donald Ray Pollock, who writes about a pretty bleak and raunchy Appalachia.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all? Loneliness, self-loathing, self sabotage, addiction in many forms, mental illness, abuse, and suicidal ideation/thoughts/attempts, “taboo” romances (usually sexuality vs time period). Some of these come as a slight surprise; others are no surprise at all.

Your Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.) It’s Shiloh. I have no idea why. He’s been my favorite since 2018 or 2019. He’s weird as hell but writing him comes effortlessly.

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life? Preferably none. They’re kinda awful. In all seriousness, maybe Lou? He’s chill and makes a good listener.

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them? Ruck. We have nothing in common, would have nothing to talk about, and his poor decisions would stress me out. He’s one of my favorite characters I’ve ever written, but I would hate to actually know him.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters. Just about every one of my favorites started out as a side character meant to garner very little attention. Somehow or another, they demanded to be written — demanded I let their personalities shine. And lo, here they are.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters? Mentally ill lonesome addicts.

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc.) As real people! Often I’ll pick a model/actor as a template, but they always evolve into a slightly varied appearance from that person in my imagination.

Your Writing

What’s your reason for writing? It feels so compulsory there’s no other option but to write.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers? I like when people tell me what they felt when they read my writing. Whether it’s attachment or hatred aimed at a character, or nostalgia, or just feeling like they were there when the scene took place. Anything that shows they absorbed and enjoyed it feels like the hugest compliment.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.) I want people to think, this bitch loves words. She loves writing. She is a writer.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer? Making people feel endeared to the characters. Realistic dialogue. Getting inside a character’s head.

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others? Pacing & setting description. Which is awesome, but I always feel like these things are weaknesses of mine? I’m always iffy about them - pacing in particular. I have no idea how to do it, but I’ve been told I do it well. That said, there are definitely things -I- think I do well that get the most negative feedback/criticism.

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.) Writing is the only thing I feel I do relatively well. I’m certainly not the world’s best, and I don’t think I’m really ready to be published or anything like that - but I am pretty proud of it. It’s the only thing I feel this way about. I want to show it to people. I wanna talk about it. I love to read what I wrote. It feels gross to say that, but I’m making myself say it anyway, lmfao. I love to see other people feel this way vs anxious or self conscious about their writing.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write? Yeah, for sure. I don’t know if I’d write as much fiction, because part of the fun is talking with others about it. But I’d still journal, and I would still imagine stories in my mind.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence? I hate this question, wtf Davy. It’s a slight mix. I’ll admit a part of me wants validation from others, but a larger part would rather write what she wants to write than turn it into a chore. Doing something just to entertain others is definitely a chore. My writing is heavily self-indulgent and I think it may suffer a little from that - but it also means when people enjoy it, they enjoy it more. I think it’s the same for any writer who does it this way. When I belonged to a huge online critique group, I edited the life out of a novel I was working on and made it less enjoyable to its biggest fans while trying to net a larger audience. I now know that was a huge mistake, because having a tiny group of people who eat your shit up is way better than having a ton of people read it, approve of it, but ultimately forget it existed because it wasn’t memorable.

[wrightingdungeon]

Hi Smoke I just saw you take requests, does that mean you would be willing to contribute to my Halex agenda?

I don't actually know if I can send a link but I have a favorite fanart as exhibit A: https://www.tumblr.com/sunshinecovey/753258969064210432?source=share

Exhibit B: The fic situation on AO3 is abyssmal. They are always background, always breaking up for one of them to have their gay awakening, and there is soo little actually featuring the two of them in a healthy relationship. Which is all fine on its own but the contrarian in me wants good Halex to exist just because it's so weirdly rare

Exhibit C: Consider. Barbie/Ken (from the show) They're both on the same wavelength of dumb so they get each other when no one else does, and Haley is slightly smarter and translates shit for him. And Haley is high maintenance but Alex will HAPPILY be her maintenance man because he worships her.

Like I feel like he would be the kind of boyfriend to sit and take pictures for her Instagram and he WANTS to because he loves her and its her hobby, and it doesn't hurt that she's gorgeous. And he loves sitting for her fashion shows after she buys new clothes.

I rest my case! (This is such a long ask oh my god sorry lmao)

(Two writers floating down the Halex River) "Don't tell me we are about to go over a waterfall?", "Yep", "Does it have a healthy relationship and mutual understanding at the bottom?", "Most likely.", "Fuck yeah."

Warning it's one am, forgive the sleepy brain, i go honk shoe now

Exhibit A:

Haley sighed dreamily as she watched Alex pull his barbell up into another curl. She had given up on her job and lost track of what rep he was on a while ago, her attention completely absorbed by the way his muscles moved.

Her eyes and mind were transfixed on Alex's pecs and traps, watching as they tensed when he raised the bar to his chest and stretched as he lowered it, resting it on his hips as he took a breath.

She bit her lip gently, watching the sweat roll down his skin, his chest rising and falling deeply but rhythmically. The sight was almost hypnotic, each movement drawing her deeper.

“Earth to Haley.” Haley blinked and looked up from his chest, Alex’s voice pulling her out of her gawking. “What's my count?” Alex asked, somewhat out of breath as he rested the barbell again, his smile tired yet teasing, knowing she wasn't paying attention.

“Yes,” Haley said, laughing softly as Alex rolled his eyes and continued his reps.

“What ya focusing on there, Sunflower?” Alex groaned as he asked, smirking as he held the bar close to his chest.

“Your boobs,” Haley admitted happily, bouncing on his bed slightly, her smirk mirroring his, her eyes once more drawn to his pectorals as they bulged over the bar.

Alex chuckled, shaking his head. “You're something else, you know that?”

Haley just grinned wider, her eyes never leaving his muscles. "It's hard when you're… just… so… distracting~.”

Exhibit B:

Alex groaned, burying his face into his hands. “It's not working, Haley…” He shook his head and looked up at Haley, who just smiled sweetly at him.

“Lex, baby. It's working, you just think it's not,” she said gently, cupping his face and rubbing his cheek and ear with her thumb.

“It's not!” Alex whined, leaning into her touch. His eyes fell onto the paper in front of him. “I wrote waist, like you said, but you said it's wrong.”

“No, I said you were close.” Haley scoffed and playfully dropped his head. “You spelled waist correctly, but we are talking about waste,” she explained, trying her hardest not to coo at Alex as he looked at her, mouth open, confused.

“You just… used the same word…” He said slowly, now rubbing his face in frustration.

Haley giggled softly, shaking her head as she leaned her head on his shoulder. “No, I didn’t, Alex.” She kissed his shoulder softly.

“Is this like there, their, and they're?” Alex asked, staring into space like he had been told he was being shipped to war.

Haley chuckled at his dramatic expression and nodded. “Yep, exactly like that. They sound the same but have different meanings and spellings. You’ll get it, I know it.”

Alex sighed, still looking doubtful. “I don’t know, Sunflower…”

“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself, Alex,” Haley said softly, squeezing his thigh. “You’re making progress, and that’s what matters.”

Alex smiled weakly, the frustration slowly melting away. “Thanks, baby. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Haley smiled back, her eyes twinkling. “You’d manage. But, come on, let’s go over it one more time, okay.”

“Fiiiine…” Alex groaned yet smiled as he picked up his pen again.

Exhibit C:

Alex leaned back against the couch, his hands resting in his lap, as he watched Emily talking with her hands as she talked about parrots, having just got one herself. He was trying his best to follow along, but Emily's excitement and technical jargon quickly left him confused.

“Did you know that parrots can have vocabularies of over 1,000 words?” Emily exclaimed, her eyes bright with passion. “They use complex social cues to communicate in ways remarkably similar to humans.”

Alex nodded, even though he was already lost. “Uh, wow, that’s… cool.”

From the corner of his eye, he saw Haley stifling a smile. She leaned in closer to him as she translated. “They are super smart and can learn a lot of words. They understand things kinda like we do.”

Emily didn’t miss a beat and continued with her descriptions of parrots. “They mimic sounds with amazing accuracy and even understand the context of certain words. For example, they can ask for specific foods and recognize their owners by voice.”

Alex, struggling to keep up, looked at Haley again. “So, wait, they talk to each other like… us?”

Haley giggled as she responded. “Kinda, It’s like we have a feathered little genius living with us.”

Alex chuckled, looking back to Emilly. “So, if I taught your parrot ‘Go long!’ would it get that I want to play gridball?”

Emily chuckled, shaking her head. “Not really. They would probably just mimic you.”

Alex laughed, his confusion turning into amusement. “That’s still pretty amazing.”

Haley’s eyes twinkled as she subtly translated more of Emily’s complex info dump. Alex felt more engaged, his questions becoming more curious and genuine.

Emily left them for a moment to go fetch some of the enrichment toys she had bought. In the moment of quiet Alex turned to Haley, his gratitude evident.

“Thanks for making her easier to understand,” he whispered, leaning closer.

“Anytime, Lex.” Haley smiled leaning in with him, kissing him softly.

[astroprinc3]

my designs of the eds to distract me from my deteriorating mental health 😁👍 (don’t ask)

i need to redraw these cuz I messed up I shouldve made dee skinnier and ed a lil wider

different lil random hcs below (don’t make fun of me this is my first time doing hc/fanon stuff like this 😭)

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

edd is mixed (white mom black dad)

ed is irish-canadian

eddy’s like hispanic-canadian or smth idk

(these hcs are inspired by neeeeeoposts if u couldn’t tell)

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

edd is tender-headed (just like me fr)

he sings his SOUL out in the shower (did i mention he has a beautiful singing voice)

he gets silly with ed sometimes and likes to play lil pranks on eddy

bonus: he came out as gay/bi to the other eds and they didn’t care lmao they still treated him the same

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

ed wears one of those lil chewing necklaces sometimes to stim (he would end up accidentally eating one though in cartoony fashion LOL)

he has tons of sketchbooks but they’re stored deep away in his closet so that sarah doesn’t ruin everything

he doesn’t wear his jacket over the summer (yep im makin it so that he doesn’t wear his jacket in the summer like why is this lil boy wearing a thick azz trenchcoat when it’s 90 degrees farenheit outside 💀)

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

eddy has BAD acne (like rlly bad, he has to wear like 3 of those pimple patch stickers on his face all the time. he hates it tho, he thinks he looks stupid with em on)

eddy hugs and touches ed and dee all the time but whenever they so much as lay a fingernail on him he’s all fussy (kind of like in the show)

he’s a picky eater (him: broccoli<<<<<)

bonus: he has a skin condition called vitiligo (poor baby can also get insecure abt it sometimes, sarah calls him “cow-face” or smth like that cuz of the spots and im sure kevin would call him somethin similar)

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

edd has black hair (im sorry but i hate when people draw him with blonde hair i just dont like it)

ed is ginger and eddy has blue hair yadda yadda yadda

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

edd has dark green eyes, eddy has dark blue eyes, ed has dark brown eyes

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

hey am i doing this headcanon thing right

[thelostgirl21]

Jaskier, The voice of the Continent,

meets

Radovid, The Voice of the Fandom...

Seriously, it's like they decided to have a character fall in love with Jaskier, and finally tell him everything we wish someone would have told him since the beginning of watching this show...

You gorgeous, loyal, empathetic, caring, devoted sapioromantic pansexual bard with a heart of gold and the voice of a freaking angel, that sees others as they are, and brings out the best in them often at your own expanse...

It was high time someone finally saw you, too - caught a glimpse of the pain and weariness you carry in your heart (yet keep downplaying and brushing aside, afraid that others would be made to feel bad about it and stop enjoying having you around to keep them entertained if they paid too much attention to it) - and took the time to remind you that you are, indeed, enough...

Radovid kept insisting for a song...

And you gave him one...

Not a song singing his own praises - with the goal or making him more sympathetic or famous to an audience (so that the world could see him and care about him the way you do)...

Not one asking him for what he yearns for, while being frustrated and heartbroken over him apparently being so set on self-sabotaging that he's unable to return the love of those that do love him...

No, for once, you decided that you were done "entertaining others", and singing about what you think they want you to sing...

Instead, you chose to sing a song about what you need and yearn for in life...

And he learned it...

Jaskier sang to him before he left the palace, and Radovid freaking learned Jaskier's song by heart, after having attentively listened to every note and every word he sang only once...

How's that for a pie without filling?

They somehow managed to turn that new ship into a whole freaking Cruise Line in just 4 episodes!

Don't get me wrong, I do love Geralt and genuinely think he was attempting to push Jaskier away out of both self-hatred and a desire to protect others from himself in Season 1... But the things he said, and the way he used to treat Jaskier, still hurt him, affected his sense of self-worth, and left some scars.

I'm therefore not drawing comparisons to bash on Geralt and Jaskier's own relationship, but because I love the healing opportunities that Radovid's hopefully genuine romantic interest in Jaskier are providing.

i.e. They better not pull some sick twist on us, by having Radovid be revealed as a cruel, scheming villain that took advantage of Jaskier's goodness, feelings, and needs for his own gain; because I've a feeling heads would be found in boxes!

Just let him have his big gay spoon, alright? Or little spoon! But I kinda want Jaskier to be the one spooned with someone firmly holding onto him with no intention of ever sending him away right now, so...

Also, what's the new name of that ship, Jaskovid? I'll go with Jaskovid...

I also found it very interesting, from a LGBTQ+ representation standpoint, that they are seemingly going the route of a polyamourous pansexual character that might be somewhere on the gray-romantic spectrum.

i.e. That Jaskier would specifically need to experience a sapioromantic connection - be attracted attracted to one's wits and insightfulness - in order for him to experience any desire to enter a romantic relationship with them.

Will Jaskier remain polyamorous, both romantically and sexually, should Radovid himself be monoamorously romantically/sexually exclusive, and the two of them choose to fully commit to their romantic connection?

I guess we'll have to see!

But I still thought it was a very nice nuance to bring to the character.

And I could see this going many different and equally interesting ways!

Jaskier could enter a deeply committed romantic and sexual relationship with Radovid, with one, or the two of them, remaining romantically and sexually non-exclusive (ex: one of my polyamorous friends has a main romantic/sexual partner that they live and share their lives with, and another one that they regularly go on romantic dates with, but without the need for them to build their lives together, or see each other as often).

Jaskier could enter a deeply committed romantic and sexual relationship with Radovid, with one, or the two of them, staying romantically exclusive, but enjoying sexual polyamory with lovers that they have no committed romantic connection to.

Jaskier could be revealed as being more ambiamorous than polyamorous, and be completely comfortable and happy being in a romantically and sexually exclusive relationship with a monoamorous partner.

As an ambiamorous panromantic demi-pansexual myself, I've personally discovered that, while I'm comfortable being in a romantic polyamorous relationship, sharing an exclusive romantic and sexual relationship doesn't feel forced, nor like I have to make any efforts and deprive myself of anything I enjoy, if I so happen to be romantically and sexually attracted to a person that isn't polyamorous.

It's like my monoamorous v.s. polyamorous instincts are naturally determined by the preferences of my romantic partner.

i.e. In the absence of any romantic connection to my sexual partners (that I do need to share a strong emotional bond with, however), however, I'm sexually polyamorous.

If the sexual desires occur in the context of a romantic connection with a monoamorous partner, I genuinely stop experiencing any sense of romantic and/or sexual attraction towards anyone else than that partner.

If the sexual desires occur in the context of a romantic connection with a polyamorous partner, however, then it's like my heart and my body will naturally remain open to forming multiple committed partnerships with other people, often with one of those romantic/sexual partnership being perceived as a domestic/life partner.

So, with Jaskier, it's perfectly possible that he might lose all interest in ever romantically and/or sexually having relationships with anyone other than Radovid, should Radovid be revealed as a being a romantically and sexually monoamorous individual himself.

Just like he could be polyamorously romantic and sexual all the way, and being unable to offer Radovid any exclusivity (which wouldn't make the romantic connection they share any less real, deep, nor valuable).

Whatever path that relationship takes, however, as long as the love and empathy between them remains genuine and real, I'll be extremely happy!