#but the burgers were really good!

[trashpoppaea]

Review of Napoleon (2023)

So I saw Napoleon (2023).

eyes glaze over

collapses and melts into a puddle

This is possibly the most soporifically boring, relentlessly mediocre so-called "epic" I have had the misfortune to see.

Plotless, pointless, and devoid of anything approaching characterization, the movie can be best described as reenacted scenes from a wikipedia article about Napoleon as written by the Anti-Jacobin.

The whole thing is suffused with British reactionary propaganda circa 1815. The characterizations are all courtesy of the Anti-Jacobin and Rowlandson’s cartoons. Robespierre is a tyrant, Napoleon is a buffoonish loutish thug, and Josephine is a slut. There’s nothing there. There’s no character arcs, no development. Sure, it’s pretty enough, but it's boring. So, so, so boring.

While watching it, I was frequently in a fugue state, floating over my body, wondering, "what is a movie? is this what they're like now? with no drama, no characters, no arcs, no interest?"

In fact, I didn't watch it: I endured it.

Joaquin Phoenix is awful. He is completely miscast on every conceivable level. Mumbling, monotone, and charmless-- I never for one moment thought I was watching Napoleon-- it only felt like Phoenix's cosplay. He and Vanessa Kirby have so little chemistry they might as well be appearing in different movies. They supposedly have this grand obsession/love story, but this amounts to sitting in the same room staring off in boredom. There's the occasional ridiculous sex scene which is always doggie style with clothes on. But for the most part, Josephine just stands in the rain or stares off into the mist.

Oh yeah there's the occasional battle. Eh…

Napoleon’s life was filled with colorful characters like the foppish, extravagant and brave Murat, the bold and foul-mouthed Lannes, the scheming, irrepressible Fouche, and the bubbly nymphomaniac Pauline, none of whom are here, and you have a bunch of interchangeable extras standing around rooms or battlefields. The only character who makes any impression whatsoever is Edouard Philipponnat as Czar Alexander, and I would have rather had a movie starring this actor. Alas, that's not what we got.

A lot of money was spent on this movie. A lot of choices were made. The result was a bland, forgettable dud that immediately fell into a memory hole as soon I departed the theatre.

As Napoleon himself would say, BAH!

PS. @microcosme11 and I didn't watch the entire thing, because it is 2 hours and 40 minutes long. As all the restaurants in the neighborhood were closing at 10, we left half an hour early, right before Waterloo and after Josephine died of pneumonia, so we could have burgers and a richly deserved beer.

PPS. Feel free to ask me for specifics!

@thiswaycomessomethingwicked @lordansketil @joachimnapoleon @usergreenpixel @twice-told-tales @josefavomjaaga @bunniesandbeheadings @jefflion

[purplespacekitty]

part 2

part 1

[cyellolemon]

Got the allowance so im not poor anymore yeay!!!! can't wait to eat good stuff and buy some art thing ect.. I'll keep my commissions open (i barely have any so it's not a big deal) so i can have some money on my paypal, i want commissions of my ocs so badly.. (if any moots have their open you can let me know <3 i don't want to spend everything rn ofc but i'll keep it in mind :3)

[philosophiessss]

Best part of the midnight burger S4 premier was when they were having fun and it basically just sounded like friends messing around together! Like I'd believe you if you said those giggly bits were outtakes but no it's scripted they love each other!! They're friends!! And they're silly sometimes!!

[ratguy-nico]

Geneuary prompt Robot/Jingle

Ta dah! I wasn't sure if I could finish this one and it's pretty messy I think is the first time I draw such trembling lines 😅

Lit I made it in like 2 days, why? ... I was watching Hazbin Hotel and catching on with Helluva Boss, sorry, that one is on me 😔

But I kinda like it. I remember my teachers telling me lines don't need to be perfect. Though Im too nervous for that shit I see an imperfect line an I have a stroke. But you live you learn.

This is obviousley for my Genie but is also for my Alex Papassian.

This is totally taken from the episode "Seven-tween Again" the last episode in which Alex appears😭🤧 (he has cameos in latest episodes but this was his last voiced appearance) (I still have faith he would come back)

This is one of my favorite episodes and it's so funny to me because I think probably no one remembers this episode or cares that much about Alex missing in action T^T

But what can I say? Gene deserve to have his group of friends. Tina has her whole gang. Louise have Rudy, Millie, and the Pesto Twins (and Jessica in my delusional mind)

I love that the Belcher Family is so close, I personally have that kinda of relationship with my family, my sisters are my best friends.

But goddamit I want Gene to have at least two friends on his grade! (you can also count Peter Pescadero)

Finally I just want to say... And they were roommates😏😏

And of course I wanted to include the actual credit song.

by the way this is from the youtube channel Cloudy I really recommend you check the channel is full of Bob's Burgers content 👉😎👉

[medicinemane]

American tasked with making an analogy: "Is like highway"

[yveltalreal]

"the best anime is x" "no the best anime is y" "youre all fucking stupid clearly the best anime is-" ALL OF YOU ARE WRONG. the best anime is nyan~ neko sugar girls by soapopera46 on youtube. an artful plot, amazing characters, a beautiful art style, canonical queer characters, and even a fantastic kanjoh dub that carries many of the original jokes over phenomenally (the original was recorded in galarian). while at first it seems like a plain slice of life anime with two skitty girl main characters it rises above it to become something so much more.

like too many of yall sleeping on nnsg for REAL

[feral-mouse]

I'm sorry to say this but... yes, Bo does eat burgers 😔

[br1ghtestlight]

What was the block-worthy bb opinion?? I’m so curious lol

okay listen. Listen. I know im being petty. but someone on twitter who did not keep up with bob's burgers after the first few seasons said "the first half of bob's burgers is so good" idk i dont remember bcuz i was genuinely blinded with rage but like. everything after season seven??? I can count on one hand the number of bobs burgers pre season eight episodes that I actually liked. NO GOOD EPISODES AFTER SEASON SEVEN???? ONLY THE FIRST HALF OF BOBS BURGERS IS GOOD??? I NEED TO SIT DOWN WITH THEM RIGHT NOW. im so serious about this lmao Couldnt even engage had to block them immediately

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

hate when i see a youtube video that's like 'analyzing why [thing] is bad!' and you watch the video and they just say nothing for twenty minutes

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

me when the dissociation causes memory loss: *surprised Pikachu*

[maythray]

scary as fuck to be aware that there is something deeply and severely wrong with me at the moment but not acting on that at all because like. im kinda being propelled forward by my schedules and stuff and like im truly happy at the same time. like its masking it without it being a deliberate mask. and idk. its kind of scary like what if that stops working man :/ idk

[frascospecimen]

I forget that most of my followers are here for splatoon it’s so fast that I’ve had so many people say they don’t know who elphelt and ramlethal are LOL

[riggedbones]

see the thing about the explosion of indie animation that’s happening right now is that it still isn’t really… like. with a lot of indie games things are often more “retro” because the increase in tools and processing power etc means that making a simpler game like that is a lot easier nowadays and can be reasonably accomplished with a small team. animation however has always been very resource intensive in ways that have often just switched out for different strategies that may lessen that workload in some ways but be just as intensive in other ways or just depend on context. so just being “retro” and making something that comes off as just a bit older and not as advanced doesn’t really do much. so in order to lessen the cost and workload instead something new has to be done and while that does happen occasionally, it’s not the sort of thing that’s catching on atm

[deltastorm101]

just briefly went, idk, nonverbal or something during weekly drum lesson when the 'headmaster' came in to ask my tutor something, i smiled and waved him hello and waved him goodbye but i didn't SAY anything, idk why, did i think i had nothing to say or did i forget?? why would i forget? but i think i did? what the hell was that? and does he think i'm the rudest most arrogant person on this earth now. or is this a non issue that i'm taking to heart way too much. god. why. why do i do this. this happens more often than i'd like to admit.

[johnbottoms]

tried both wendy's and burger king's ghost pepper stuff... both were pretty nicely spicy for fast food but burger king's was actually so good ..... very tasty