#i love raw onion taste

[maythray]

scary as fuck to be aware that there is something deeply and severely wrong with me at the moment but not acting on that at all because like. im kinda being propelled forward by my schedules and stuff and like im truly happy at the same time. like its masking it without it being a deliberate mask. and idk. its kind of scary like what if that stops working man :/ idk

[suchaspookyginger]

yeah yeah, living with my husband and one of my dearest friends is nice for the obvious reasons, but no one ever tells you about how gratifying it is when every household member hates the same food and therefore you never have to see it

[ohmygraves]

what the 141 guys would eat in an all you can eat buffet

price

price is the one grilling the meat most of the time if they're in like a kbbq where you cook the meat yourself

he tells the boys to grab whatever they want cuz it should be fun rather than trying to get their money's worth

still though he will make sure that everyone finishes their plate bcz no wasting food here people it's an extra 10 pounds for like 100g of food you wasted get your head in the game-

honestly probably wouldn't be that hard, his boys eats a lot in general

keeping it simple with series of meats and booze, though might indulge in some pastries if something catches his fancy

tends to pick something he's familiar with and one that looks good, will be disappointed if the one he picked doesn't taste as good as it looks :(

oh also will definitely go ham at the crabs, kinda shows off how to crack it open and get the most meat from it hehe

i feel like the buffet he feels more comfortable with are the ones that offer him familiar sights and lots of meat. and maybe some veggies too to cut the cholesterol out of his body a little

he might enjoyed k-bbq, cuz they eat lots of veggies while going hard on the meat too

"see you just do this and this and..." *a log of crab leg meat pops out of its shell* "now it's all out"

gaz

oh he gets distracted by the fancy stuff

his plates has a few oysters and somehow lobster tails?? is that a caviar??

his palaté is more adventurous, i think he'd be willing to try out things that he hadn't seen or tried before

still he wants to maximize his stomach space to try out everything that the place has to offer

looks around the selection a few times before grabbing a plate and picking the things he wants (apparently this is the way to go?)

i feel like kyle would be into buffets that offers interesting dishes and unlike the ones that are in common buffets with their ham and mass produced scrambled eggs or something

he has standards

he's a fancy boy, he wants some good drinks while he eats through the entire place

indulges in desserts, but only at the end where he knows that he's had enough of the main dishes (the dessert ruins his appetite so he keeps it towards the end)

soap

picky boy #1 in the squad

cannot handle a single lick of spicy and heat so his options are limited if he goes somewhere "interesting" or wherever kyle takes him

that being said he likes carbs

lots of them

grabs bread and toast and the meats from the meat section and just makes himself some sandwiches

doesn't really take the salads bcz he doesn't like the veggies in it, will end up picking most of the stuff out (he doesn't like raw onions and raw carrots :c)

loves the sweets though

will accidentally eat too much sweets that he couldn't eat anything else because his appetite gets ruined

still though if he goes to a buffet he's gonna make sure he stays until the end, kept going either way until the last seconds.

might end up very sick and in a food comma, someone has to roll him out of the place later

his favorite buffets are those cheap ones where the dishes are something he knows and he just cycles through like five dishes through his one hour time limit

he gets made fun of by ghost because his plate is always full of beige

ghost

i still stand by ghost being a big boy that likes eating

so he lives for these buffets

he doesn't really like the ones where you cook yourself, he feels like its a lot of waiting for the cooking and not enough time eating

also doesn't really go for the soups, cuz he soups take a lot of space in your stomach. will probably indulge in a small bowl or two though just to try.

he likes a lot of things and doesn't really have anything he hates or turn away, keeps going somewhere where he knows where he could eat his fill in the cheap

he might put the place in the red though, he can certainly eat a lot

meat? sure. salad? put it on the plate. toast and eggs? why not. seafood? no need to ask.

his side of the table is always full of dishes and cluttered. you won't even be able to see the table underneath.

also the vacuum cleaner and the savior for price's wallet from paying the fee for leaving uneaten food

kyle always gets him to try interesting food, and ghost just doesn't really comment on it and puts it in his mouth

he likes anywhere where he could eat for the cheap, isn't very picky on the cuisine. as long as he's not the one cooking the food himself he's fine with it lol

[mowu-moment]

ranking food tokens by how much personally i want to eat them

- Throne of Eldraine -

i have reason to distrust this meat pie thing, not only because of its wails of anguish but it also seems to have burst a bit in the oven. still not honestly opposed, at least the dishes are clean. 5/10.

how does one unpeel a curly banana? why are there sliced-open fruits on what appears to be a stone in the woods? where is the light coming from? i'm going to be taken by the fae and it's not even gonna taste too good while i'm at it, these things look dirty. but idk i don't mind someone else taking the wheel of my life rn. 2/10.

again, concerns about the floor food, but at least it looks more like some deliverygirl got eaten by a wolf and dropped her basket than a trap. someone already took a bite, though, maybe i should leave it be. 4/10

i have been invited to the Goblin King's Feast and while i don't fully agree with his choices i will certainly partake. boar looks wonderful apart from the hair. 7/10

- Commander 2020 / Strixhaven Commander -

i'm pretty sure cattails are poisonous to humans (not to mention the actual poisons in there) so i unfortunately can't oblige gyome's swamp soup. that crusty bread looks pretty nice though. i'll pick this thing apart like high school cafeteria lunch. 3/10.

- Modern Horizons 2 -

i at least know who cooked this one, and i trust asmor a decent bit, but this is still food for demons, so maybe it's not too good for me. goddamn do i wanna know what it tastes like though. 4/10.

- Unfinity -

i'm considering these two together. as a filthy american, i am allured by these fat-filled foods, but as a lad with a tiny stomach, i doubt i could eat enough to feel good about not wasting it. astrotorium's about excess, goddamn. the only funfair burger i've had was the best thing i had eaten in months, but it also made me ill the rest of the day. i really do want some infinity fries though, those look like the golden mean between a steak fry and a curly fry. 6/10.

- March of the Machine Commander -

meanwhile this looks like a texture nightmare. like i respect it, i imagine it's filling and fulfilling, but i don't think i ever could eat more than a bite or two. bread looks a little worse than gyome's but only a little. 5/10.

- Lord of the Rings: Tales of Middle-Earth -

my white ass loves a charcuterie board. and i'm not going to be intimidated out of it by not eating enough, since it's all in snack-sized bits already. definitely gonna overindulge this sucker. i'm nervous about some of those spreads though. 9/10.

this looks like i'm in a dream, is it actively cooking? or still hot? i can't identify what's in that pan anyway. i'm leaving it alone out of respect. wouldn't mind a drink though. 2/10.

this is not food. for humans. 0/10.

- Wilds of Eldraine -

this is a king's feast i am properly intimidated by. i'm more into it than the Goblin King's, particularly that triple-layer blueberry pie or whatever that is, but i'm going to have to be as polite as possible lest i get a face full of flaming beer. 8/10

i'll probably be eaten before this can eat me, and it barely looks like food, but at least i go down with sugar in the mouth. 1/10.

ogh. that egg looks divine. the bread looks amazing, there's a full glass, i've got like beans or mermaid tears everywhere. we've even got seasonings back there. the best damn breakfast i'll ever have. 10/10.

i would still probably eat this over nothing. there's onion, at least. i will either be hexed or violently ill, but like i could at least get it down. and maybe the witchmother is testing my strength and she'll reward me after slurping an eyeball. a convenient lie to tell myself. 2/10.

- Doctor Who Commander -

y'know, four, i think i would like a copyrighted candy. they look sad and british, which is on point. but like it's not actively killing me like half of these. i think anyway. i don't know doctor who. 6/10.

what is this? i have no idea. custard? raw batter? giant dunkaroo? is he dipping fishsticks? it doesn't look like it's done cooking, like do we need to put it in a fryer again? i'd say it's inedible but it's not poison stew so i have to be nice. 4/10.

get AWAY from me. this is a PERSONAL vendetta. i would rather try to eat spiderwebs. plus he's already eaten half of it. -10/10.

- Fallout Commander -

i can't be too mean since this is literally apocalypse food. i think i prefer this over poison stew? like i recognize it at least, even if it's foul and moldy. man has to eat something. 3/10

i'm not convinced there's actual soda in here. is this just a perspective shot or is this a giant prop soda? i don't like cola anyway. again, worth it in an apocalypse i suppose. 4/10

this soda i trust even less. it glows? does this give me magic powers in the fallout world or does it just kill me slowly? i think it'll kill me slowly anyway. i need fluid to survive in apocalypseland but damn i hate for it to come to this. 2/10.

[simplepotatofarmer]

seconds

a short (1,089 words) rivals duo fic about food as love and friendship for @sixteenth-day-event's love month.

Dream didn’t cook.

He had lived on golden apples and pieces of beef that could only charitably be called ‘steak’ and ‘cooked’ and then later he had lived on potatoes, raw and mealy. It had taken months to get the taste out of his mouth. Months of Techno encouraging him to eat until Dream was able to keep down more than a few bites at a time.

It had to be frustrating. Dream had been frustrated, knowing that he needed to eat and knowing his stomach and mind would rebel against it. There had been times he had lashed out and had swept the dish off the table and Techno had rolled his eyes and called him a toddler and a baby and cleaned up the mess.

And he still cooked for Dream, despite it all.

This is so stupid, thought Dream with a groan.

He gripped the edge of the counter and looked down. Half the ingredients of Techno’s pantry sat out: carrots, mushrooms, onions, even potatoes. There were herbs that Dream didn’t know but had passed his sniff test and raw beef that he had dug out of the ice chest.

He had no idea what he was doing.

If Techno was here, Dream would ask him but he was out all day with Phil doing something that was supposed to be secret but Dream knew about anyway because Techno talked and, besides, this was meant to be a surprise.

“How—How hard can it be?” Dream asked the empty kitchen, trying to hype himself up. Outside, the sun was just a little below the halfway point in the sky. “It’s just fucking vegetables and shit in water.”

It was a lot harder than Dream thought.

His hands shook trying to chop the vegetables evenly, the missing fingers making it hard to grip the knife properly and there was one moment where his hand slipped and he grazed his finger, a tiny drop of blood welling up, and Dream had to sit down until he stopped feeling as if his head was full of static. But he had done it.

He had chopped the vegetables (even the potatoes) and then had cut the meat into chunks and had to stop himself from thinking about how easily a person could be carved up. As soon as he was done, Dream had tossed the knife into the sink and refused to look at it again.

Wiping his sleeve across his forehead, Dream began to season his stew. He smelled each herb, tasted some of the spices, dumped a little too much salt into the water and scrambled to scoop what he could out and then tried to mask it with a little more pepper and rosemary. He found dandelion greens and added those, too.

It didn’t taste anything like the stews that Techno made. Dream frowned.

He needed something.

In the back of Techno’s pantry, there was a dusty bottle of beetroot wine, labeled with Phil’s handwriting. That would work. Dream carefully scooped out some more of the water and then poured in half the wine. He added more herbs and spices but stayed away from the salt.

It still wasn’t right and Dream went to the ice chest and pulled out the butter and added a chunk.

Then he put the lid on the pot and let it simmer until Techno got home.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Steam rose off the bowl of stew sitting in front of Techno.

Across the table, Dream was watching him intently, his own bowl untouched, hand on the spoon, waiting for Techno to take the first bite.

“Y’know, you really didn’t have to do this, Dream,” said Techno, stirring the stew a bit.

“Yeah, I know but—but you always cook and I thought—I wanted to cook for...” Dream trailed off, shifting in his seat, finally looking away. “Whatever.”

Techno smiled.

“Nah, I appreciate it, man,” he said. “It looks good.”

That wasn’t a complete lie: the vegetables were clearly painstakingly cut into chunks all of a similar size as was the meat and the broth had a hearty, deep red color to it. Unfortunately, it colored almost everything with a reddish-purple tint to it but that was fine.

It certainly looked better than it smelled because it smelled like Techno’s entire spice rack had been dumped into the pot.

But Dream visibly perked up at his words.

“Yeah? I mean, I didn’t have, like, a recipe or anything.”

I can tell, thought Techno. He said, “Listen, Dream, the secret to cookin’ is you’ve got to cook from the heart, alright?”

A blush, pink and splotchy, colored Dream’s cheeks.

“Ugh. Just—Just eat the stupid stew,” said Dream, not moving to pick up his own spoon.

Techno took a bite.

It wasn’t awful though Techno would have never called it good. There was an odd lack of salt and an even odder mix of herbs and spices, not all of which went together, and a buttery taste that he wasn’t expecting. The beetroot wine was a bit overpowering.

He took another bite.

“Is it—is it alright?”

There was an eagerness on Dream’s face, nervousness in his voice, as he watched Techno.

Techno hadn’t been lying when he said the secret was to cook from the heart. The fact Dream had gone out of his way to cook anything when food had been such a sticking point for him, the fact he had willingly used potatoes when there had been a point he would gag at the mere sight of them, meant something.

It meant a lot.

Techno took another bite, bigger than the first two, and spoke around the mouthful.

“It’s amazin’. You wanna do all the cookin’ from now on?”

Dream scoffed but the blush had deepened and a pleased sort of relief had settled on his features. It softened some of the harshness left behind from the prison.

“Hell no.”

“I’m teasin’ you, Dream,” Techno said, still eating.

Dream pushed his spoon around his own bowl. He was quiet for awhile as Techno ate.

“Yeah—Well, to be—to be fair, you do all of the cooking and I know I’m a pain in the ass,” he said, finally, and finally lifted a spoonful of stew to his mouth. Dream’s features twisted in disgust. “This is fucking awful.”

Techno snorted, reaching across the table to pat Dream’s hand.

“I don’t mind.”

One of Dream’s eyebrows jerked upwards.

“Really?”

“Really.” Techno pushed his chair to back to stand. “Now, I’m gonna get another bowl.”

[puzzled-pegasus]

wof headcanons but theyre oddly food and substance related for some reason

Although I understand why Tui didn't include very much info abt alchohol or drugs in a kids book there is an extreme lack of culinary related world building so here are some ideas I had while on this train of thought :)

SeaWings tend to be foodies and are generally given cooking classes in school. Which if you think about it, is rather important, because like 60 percent of the creatures in the ocean are poisonous and the rest have parasites and nasty germs so they need to know whats up when it comes to food safety.

SeaWings use a lot of citrus in their food and drinks and they also use it for fragrances and stuff they just really like it

SeaWing nobles commonly eat fugu and there have been assassinations where a chef was bribed to not properly take out the poison so the dragon eating it would die

SeaWings drink to taste. SkyWings drink to forget what century it is.

SkyWings typically eat their meat raw but on special occasions they will barbecue it and put some spices n stuff on it. They don't eat much else besides meat but they do like spicy things like peppers and they also like strong onion or garlic flavors. The little masochists. Anyway,

SkyWings don't really like sweet things and many of them can't even taste them so they're like wtf is a dessert

man do they love them some olives tho. Olives everywhere. In their drink. Out of the jar. On their meat. Oil on their scales. Oil in their hygiene products. They started trading them from the Sand and SeaWings millennia ago but theyve selectively bred ones that grow in the mountains

This one's more drugs than food but SkyWings will sometimes take some kind of stimulant before battle like a beserker so they're all fired up heheh

MudWings are excellent meal preparers and sibs like to all cook together so they'll make a big pot of stew or something

They like bread and desserts, they have easy access to sugar cane being along the east coast and they also use a lot of honey. They're re into canning stuff too, they have a lot of raspberries and blackberries and strawberries in their temperate forest areas and they grow them to make jam and wine and they use honey to make mead

basically they are Cottagecore(TM) and I love them

They also eat lots of freshwater fish and crawfish and whatnot

And they also eat a lot of tatoes

Vanilla grows in the swamps, they use that in their cakes

MudWings deserve some appreciation goddamnit their kingdom is biologically diverse and beautiful

SandWings have tequila because. Yknow. Cactus.

They eat a lot of bugs and lizards, they don't really need to eat every day so it's not a huge deal

they do like coconuts tho and they use coconut oil in a lot of their hygiene products as well as in their cooking

They deep fry a lot of shit. Idk where i got this but trust me. They love things with lots of fat in it bc they need all they can get

Really sticky sweet desserts and candy; enjoyers of those one lollipops with the mealworms or whatever tf in them

also canning stuff like bone broth is very important

pickled cactus as well

rhey probably have a festival when cactus fruit goes in season

what even is IceWing cuisine.

Well way up north where there's nothing but ice it's pretty bad and the dragons have to eat just plain ass meat and seafood, but down into the tundras there's some pretty good stuff like cinnamon, pines for tea, honey berries, and other foraging as well as more diversity of meats

They would probably eat sushi

All the other tribes like to make fun of them and rightfully so bc their food is so plain

they make good honey berry wine tho

Maube that's why theyre so damn grumpy

RainWings are expert foragers ofc but they don't really feel the need to prepare their food in any way

They are, however, in constant dire need of sodium because they get absolutely none from their fruit

So anything salty is wow

Maybe rhey have a place near the mud kingdom border where they can grow some asparagus for salt

they are also the only tribe besides Night that can eat chocolate but forgor 💀 how to make it so the NightWings and them have to re figure it out together

Salted dark chocolate bing bang boom instant delicacy

NightWings used to be able to cook really well, especially desserts and pastry, but they forgor while they were trying to not die on the volcano

[feedists4progress]

Food is one of the most universally beloved things on planet Earth. Aligning a presidential campaign with it is smart for all the obvious reasons, but for the Harris-Walz ticket, it’s also a signal. The rhetorical challenge of progressivism is that it is by nature abstract: It imagines a world that does not yet exist, rather than advocating to return to some previous version of the one we know. [...] In foregrounding food, Harris and Walz are making theirs the candidacy of terrestrial pleasure and straightforward abundance.

The governor of Minnesota and possible future vice president’s hotdish recipe is, uh, a lot. It involves, among other things, whole milk, half-and-half, two types of meat, three cups of cheese (specifically Kraft), nearly a stick of butter, and a full package of Tater Tots. It is gluttonous, deeply midwestern, and, I am sure, delicious. Indeed, Walz won the Minnesota Congressional Delegation’s hotdish cook-off in 2013, 2014, and 2016.

Tim Walz loves food. He loves corn dogs, and the all-you-can-drink milk booth at the Minnesota state fair, and—I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you this—dunking cinnamon rolls in chili. He gets excited about soda. He posts pictures of his sandwiches.  He loves to eat so much that people on X are already writing short-form fan fiction about it. Throughout his political career, but especially recently, he has gone out of his way to talk about food, the fattier and folksier the better. Last week, in a discussion with CNN’s Jake Tapper that was ostensibly about Joe Biden’s mental fitness, Walz recounted receiving a call from the president while eating the Minnesota delicacy Juicy Lucy, a hamburger stuffed with cheese. The next day, he posted on X about a different award-winning hotdish recipe of his, this one involving two separate kinds of canned soup.

We are witnessing what might be the most food-centric presidential campaign in American history. Kamala Harris is, by all accounts, an exceptional and enthusiastic home cook, and has made cooking part of her political brand—surely an intentional calculation, given the negative connotations that might arise when the potential first woman president openly embraces domesticity. In 2019, she offered an off-the-cuff lesson in turkey brining while getting mic’d up to go on television: “Just lather that baby up,” she said, eyes bright. The next year, she started an amateur cooking show; on it, she cracks an egg with one hand and bonds with Mindy Kaling over the fact that their parents both stored spices in old Taster’s Choice jars. She laughs a lot in the kitchen.

Unlike her running mate, Harris seems unlikely to throw four kinds of dairy in the oven for dinner—she’s a Californian, and she cooks like one: swordfish with toasted cardamom for her pescatarian stepdaughter, herb-flecked Mediterranean meatballs on an Instagram Live with the celebrity chef Tom Colicchio. But she’s not immune to the humble charms of ice cream, gumbo, Popeye’s chicken, red-velvet cupcakes, or bacon, which she describes as a “spice” in her household. She comes off as sincere in her love of food but discerning in her tastes. When a 10-year-old recently asked her at an event what her favorite taco filling was, she answered with the kind of absorbed expression that she might otherwise display when explaining foreign policy on the debate stage: carnitas with cilantro and lime, no raw onions.

Invoking food on the campaign trail is a cliché for a reason: Eating is an easy and extremely literal way to prove that you are a human being. But the Democratic Party has not always been great at it. In 2003, John Kerry visited the Philadelphia cheesesteak institution Pat’s and asked for a sandwich not with the traditional Whiz, American, or Provolone, but with Swiss. If voters needed proof that he was something other than the eggheady elitist they thought he was, this wasn’t it: In Philly, Swiss is “an alternative lifestyle,” The Philadelphia Inquirer’s food critic, Craig LaBan, said at the time. One does not get the sense that Walz or Harris would stride into Pat’s and ask for Swiss—not because they’re self-consciously avoiding a gaffe, but because they have deep respect for America’s foodways and are interested in enjoying food however it is meant to be enjoyed.

Their approach makes a marked departure both from the Obama era—what with its well-meaning but not entirely fun focus on childhood obesity, and its notorious seven almonds—and from the current leaders of the Republican Party. Donald Trump doesn’t really talk about liking eating; he does, famously, consume a lot of fast food, but that is reportedly because he’s afraid of being poisoned, not because fast food tastes amazing. His most well-known food tweet—“Happy #CincoDeMayo! The best taco bowls are made in Trump Tower Grill. I love Hispanics!”—reads like an obligatory plug rather than an earnest celebration of the way the taco bowl itself looks, smells, and tastes: all business, no pleasure. Meanwhile, Trump’s running mate, J. D. Vance, says he loves Diet Mountain Dew, but he seems mostly to be mad about it. To the degree that he has gotten specific about why he likes the beverage, the praise is purely functional: “high caffeine, low calorie.” The primary message here is that food is the site not of delight and togetherness but of anxiety and alienation, or utilitarianism at best. It’s all a little, well, weird.

Food is one of the most universally beloved things on planet Earth. Aligning a presidential campaign with it is smart for all the obvious reasons, but for the Harris-Walz ticket, it’s also a signal. The rhetorical challenge of progressivism is that it is by nature abstract: It imagines a world that does not yet exist, rather than advocating to return to some previous version of the one we know. I find it telling that Walz keeps using the word joy when he talks about the campaign and about his running mate. It’s an uncomplicated message, one that’s even more concrete than Barack Obama’s hope: Hope is the future, but joy is the present. It’s cold milk on a hot day; a perfectly cracked egg; a steaming casserole dish full of God knows what, enjoyed at a crowded table. In foregrounding food, Harris and Walz are making theirs the candidacy of terrestrial pleasure and straightforward abundance. It’s simple, really. —Ellen Cushing

[katealpha]

Art by Doodlminium

Please make sure you look at their regulations before contacting them, as they do not share the same kinks as you or I probably do.

Da: www.deviantart.com/doodlminium

Ekas: https://aryion.com/g4/user/Doodles

Continuation of: https://www.deviantart.com/kateofjasper/art/Raya-and-the-Soon-To-Be-Born-Dragon-975482250

——————————

Training in her little private gem chamber all morning left Raya, the currently very pregnant princess of Heart quite famished. After all, she was eating for two. Herself, and the baby dragon that dwelled deep inside her bloated belly.

Just the smell of prepped food alone could guide her down the palace’s halls with her eyes shut. Raya felt as if the baby was imprinting its innate draconic abilities onto her as the pregnancy progressed. Certain foods like fish and meat tasted better, her sense of smell was, as mentioned, heightened, and she could even feel her arms and legs stronger than usual, as activities like swimming came just as easy despite her distorted body shape.

Raya’s eyes opened, and she found herself standing in one of the several kitchens that could be found around her home. The place was empty however, as unless there was an event, there was never more than one running at a time that Raya could go to and get food at her demand. Regardless there were still good smells in here that led her to this place, that being all the ingredients stored in here.

A sigh left her lips as she waddled up to the window, looking out onto the jungle below. Rain pattered and tapped against the glass softly. It was the kind of rainy day Raya loved. If she and the baby weren’t so hungry, she’d be heading outside wandering, with Sisu at her side, blathering about whatever topic that dragon could come up with. That’s when her gazes turned down to her taut tummy, where she felt a wriggling movement, accompanied by a low, moaning grumble that rippled through her guts. She pet atop her hungry stomach with a chuckle before moving away from the window and towards one of the kitchen’s stations.

When Raya got cravings, they were the cravings of a dragon. It was the reason why she trained so vigorously each morning in recent days. This little dragon had her eating so much that without it, there’d be little hope of salvaging her beloved figure after the birth. Even if she cherished the feeling of her offspring growing and wiggling deep inside her, she wasn’t so willing to be fat after she popped the little tyke out.

On that note, Raya opened up one of the drawers under the station’s counter, and with a bit of exertion on her part to simply bend down and each, she lifted back up with an onion in each of her hands. After her leg shut the small door where she got them from, the onions both had bites taken out of them. Her teeth chomped right through them, sending a strong taste and smell, both of which were more agreeable than normal. A hum of satisfaction left her lips as this continued, up until both onions were gone and she was left to lick her lips before a sudden and deep belch forced its way up and burst forth from her mouth. Despite nobody being in the room, she blushed and covered her mouth sheepishly.

“BWUAAARP!!”

After the burp, Raya glanced down to her bump as it filled with some low gurgling sounds, the onions being greeted by her hungry gut. Though she already felt a level of bloated discomfort wash through her. She just devoured two raw onions after all. Something she wouldn’t dream of doing if this baby didn’t make her ready to eat a horse on a moment’s notice. Even so, it wasn’t enough. Another deep, hunger filled groan shook from her gut and womb. Her baby wanted more food, and just raw onions wouldn’t do, it would seem. Probably for the best for both Raya and anyone around her.

Suddenly, Raya was made to get moving once she felt another rough wriggle and sharp kick from within, which could be seen from the outside. The movement made the pregnant warrior let out a soft moan before she began to waddle her way out of the kitchen. She knew just where to go and who to see for this scenario. Another harsh wiggling from the little dragon made Raya huff and chuckle softly, looking down to regard her unborn child.

“Okay, okay. Settle down in there. I’ll go get your other mom. She’ll make us something special for lunch.” Raya said softly as she slowly rubbed around the side of her swollen belly, trying her best to tame the tiny, hungry beast.

Raya once thought she’d never have children, with little desire to do so. But it was little moments like this that made her glad that she volunteered to help bring forth the next generation of the creatures she spent her life being fascinated by. Once she thought seeing dragons was impossible, but now, she met one that became the love of her life, helped bring them back from their stone prison, and now, she was going to become a mother to one. Raya held her free hand to her chest as felt her heart warm in her chest, seeing and feeling the little dragon bump and kick inside her bloated belly. She felt like the luckiest woman in all of Kumandra.

Certainly a bigger dragon nerd than Namaari, especially in the literal sense.

[kyra45]

"do i even cook" PLEASE. potato salad has chunks of potato, that's what makes it "salad" and not "mash". mashed potatoes with butter, milk, seasoning, and mayo is just....mashed potatoes. with added chunks. probably WAS delicious if you love raw onions but insane if you like food that tastes good

[lesb0]

The truth about children is that they are not only tiny but extremely physically and psychologically sensitive before puberty. I've seen a child scream in pain after touching a drop of tea tree olive oil that I've just used all over my hair and hands, because their skin has formed no natural barrier or oils yet. It's like they've all just had full body chemical peels because skin resistance is hormonal. Theyre loud and like annoying songs because they don't fully process audio. They can't hold distressful ideas or two concepts at once so they drop information and giggle about it. complicated ideas and emotions are a teenaged hormonal brain development. Kids cannot consume "poison" foods that we enjoy like hot peppers, onions, leafy greens, and bitter dark chocolate because of an evolutionary benefit. toxins that we can't taste are fully disgusting to them.

We forget about all of this because our brains weren't functioning in a way that we could even retain a sense of perspective. I vaguely remember being prone to burns because I loved cooking, but now I can touch hot butter and need my bathwater scalding. I used to cry when brushing my hair and hated black coffee. Once I screamed because one tiny bite of raw onion burned my sinuses. Now I love those things.

Children are absolutely in no way "adults but small" they are literally barely functional and you NEED to be hyper-delicate and gentle with them or else I will attack you

[ratatatastic]

i love the poker table and all the shit that has come from it if not because you can see exactly who's the loudest persistent bitch there and who exactly finds that endearing spoiler alert its exactly who you think it is womp womp

deeply important to me on a "whos the best and whos the worst at the table" maffhew and benny insisting forsy is the best because of his good pokerface and his consistency and even swaggy agrees that forsy is pretty good meanwhile benny cant help adding an "ekky thinks he's the best" while he's at it and swaggy has to get his two cents in as well: "and [ekblad] thinks he's pretty good."

and when forsy gets asked best and worst he decides he can't say worse and instead only lists the people he think are the good and: "ekky's pretty good actually but he's very... he's a little bit more wild so he's got some big swings."

and at first it's like oh maybe this is a benny/swaggy bullying ekky moment as they're prone to wont to do (ekky deserves it and likes it) but then forsy immediately says afterwards that c*usins is: "but i think nick c*usins. hes doing pretty good. yeah, I know, I know... we're gonna get him though."

which immediately discredits why he thinks ekky is a good player because both benny AND demers were like c*usins is the WORST at poker

and if you think oh forsy is just a carebear of a man and he cant choose the worst- NO HE DOES NOT. HE ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT BECAUSE in the same interview he has no qualms of naming lundy as the worst playoff beard (2nd year in a row btw): "its gotta be one of the finns probably... lundy" and calling out luosty for his culinary abominations: "luosty is eating—he's putting raw onions in the pasta which is... yeah thats a little... weirdo, weirdo!"

this is just forsy whos very bad at hiding his bias and will warp the world in favour of it because he'd rather die than not pick ekky for TWO whole questions (best at poker and best playoff beard)

and with primetime panthers we learned that ekkys too loud and pushy for both benny and swaggys taste that they both elected him as the worst seatmate on the team plane which is so comical that mr. im not very good at poker but I still sit with them and get shocked when ekky bounds over and wants me to play too would say such a thing huh

and the double whammy is that swaggy prefers forsys who's the complete opposite of ekky

and i just think everyone going, forsy is nice quiet and reserved in his facial expressions and ekky is loud insistent and not as good as he thinks he is, is just sooooooooooo

[heich0e]

liv i love broccoli too if its ok can you tell me how you make the soup I've never heard of it ...

sure thing little guy!! i literally just finished making it so i will tell u how i did it <3 pls keep in mind i a) made this up and b) am vegan—so there are lots of things that you might change if you make this yourself!!

liv's made up broccoli soup recipe <3

ingredients:

2 heads of broccoli

1 yellow onion

1 clove of garlic, minced

1/4 cup of raw cashews soaked overnight (or for 20 mins in boiling water) OR 1/4 cup of cream if you aren't vegan/dairy free

2 tbsp of a soft/creamy cheese (i used a vegan herb and garlic cream cheese! you could use plain cream cheese or anything similar)

2 tbsp boullion paste + 1L of water (or just 1L of your stock of choice)

1/4 tsp red pepper flakes

1/2 tsp smoked paprika

1 tsp lemon juice

olive oil

salt and pepper to taste

preheat your oven to 200c/400f and line a baking sheet with parchment

wash your broccoli, then separate the florets from the stems. set the florets aside for a second

make sure you trim the base of the stems (it can be woody like asparagus!) and then peel the outer layer of the stem off since it's usually a bit tough. once the stem is peeled, dice it into small pieces (around 1cm cubes) and set aside

peel/dice your onion (this doesn't have to be pretty because you're gonna blend it later) and put it into a large saucepan w a bit of olive oil and start cooking it over medium heat.

while your onion is cooking, spread the broccoli florets out on the lined baking sheet. toss w olive oil, salt, pepper, smoked paprika and red pepper flakes and then put it in the oven to roast for 15 mins.

once the onion is translucent, add the diced broccoli stem and the garlic and saute that for about 5 minutes, then add your boullion paste/water (or stock!) and let simmer that on med-low heat, covered, for about 10 minutes until everything is SUPER soft.

after 10 minutes, blend the soup with the cashews (or cream) and the cream cheese in a high power blender until it's totally smooth. return this to the pot on low heat.

add the roasted broccoli once it's lightly browned and softened (but still has a bit of bite! like al dente pasta!) and stir to combine.

i added a bit more black pepper and a tiny bit of lemon juice to balance everything else, but that's rly to your own taste. otherwise that's it!!

[invinciblerodent]

Baldur's Gate 3's Potato Chowder - RECIPE

So a few days ago, I found this recipe around the start of act 3, near the kitchen of the Temple of the Open Hand in Rivington:

[Screenshot of recipe as it appears in-game. Exact steps will be transcribed below, within the recipe.]

It looked... honestly very simple and not dissimilar from a Hungarian potato főzelék/stew (which is a very cheap and homely peasant dish I love), so I just made it for lunch today, and guys....

this soup is uh. really fucking good. I tried following it as close to the letter as possible, but since it's quite vague, I did have to improvise a fair bit- but it's very cheap and easy to make, it's warm and comforting while still quite light (there are like. NO spices in there, it's a very European-feeling dish), and I'd say it's surprisingly filling, but it's. It's potatoes, so there's nothing exactly surprising about that.

I tried to write out the recipe in a very beginner-friendly way, so even if you're not super confident in the kitchen, it should be easy to follow! ❤️

Make yourself some video game soup, it's awesome.

INGREDIENTS:

(For about 6 servings)

A roughly egg-sized lump of lard (This can be subtituted with a different cooking fat if you'd like, but I recommend sticking with lard, as it adds a nice flavor, and it's kind of the staple fat for these peasant stews.)

Potatoes (I used just under two pounds)

Half of a medium leek

Small yellow onion (or half of a larger one)

2 cloves garlic

Roughly 1/2 to 1 cup white cooking wine (optional, substitute given in recipe)

Vegetable stock (or chicken- or beef stock, or water)

2-3 tbsp all purpose flour

Salt to taste

1/2 cup of sour cream/créme fraiche (optional)

Shredded cheese and/or croutons to serve (optional)

(Recipe with transcriptions and exact steps under the cut!)

(This is basically all there is in this. Honestly.)

STEPS:

"1. Put your lard in a pot- a chunky one, mind. When it stops being lard and starts being hot lard, add any good-smelling veggies (leeks, garlics, onions) that you've chopped all thin. Please salt this so it doesn't taste of nothing."

This first step is pretty self-explanatory. I sliced the white part of he leek thinly, cubed my onion, and minced my two large cloves of garlic. In the lard melted in as chunky a pot as I've got (make sure it's not non-stick!!!), I sauteed first the leek and the onion with a big pinch of salt, and once the onion was translucent, the leek soft, and they've released some liquid (around 3-5 minutes on medium-low heat), I added the garlic, and cooked it until fragrant.

"2. When it's soft and good-smelling, chuck in any flour you've got and stir the mixture so it don't burn (note for me - it's very important not to burn it, emphasize)"

"2.5. PLEASE DO NOT LET IT BURN THAT'D BE RUBBISH"

Now we make a roux by adding just enough flour to the mixture that it starts sticking together, and looks fairly dry, but no part of the flour remains powdery. (This was about 3 tbsp for me, but since this process goes quick, I did eyeball it).

It's important to keep stirring, as this can and does stick to the bottom of a pot, but it will determine the thickness of the final soup, deepen its flavor, and give it a nice, creamy consistency. I made mine fairly blonde (light tan in color, cooked just past long enough to dissipate any raw flour smell), but it can go to a fairly dark, caramel color before burning if you'd like the flavor to be a bit deeper. (This should only take a couple minutes.)

Please do be careful- it the roux burns, that flavor will be impossible to get rid of, so.... yeah, it would be rubbish.

"3. If you're fancy and have wine (or have a generously stocked temple wine cellar nearby) add a bit of it now and cook it off. When it's done, add some wedged potatoes and a lot more liquid (not wine this time or you'll have a headache in the morning)."

We now deglaze the bottom of the pot with the wine: after pouring it in, with the wooden spoon, we scrape up any stuck pieces of flour or aromatics that there might be on the bottom.

(Note: If you don't have wine, or would prefer not to use alcohol for any reason, a neat trick is to mix about 1 tbsp of white wine vinegar and 1 tsp of granulted sugar into a cup of water, and use this mixture as a substitute for 1 cup of white wine. In most recipes, the wine's main purpose is to add acidity as well as sweetness to the dish- this trick aims to replicate those qualities, and tastes very similar in the end result. I use it often in almost anything that calls for white wine if I happen to not have any at hand. But do make sure to taste beforehand, it's very easy to go too heavy on the vinegar! It should taste sour, but not so much that it's unpalatable.)

Then, I rinsed my cubed potatoes (though the text calls for wedges, those often don't cook quite evenly!) with water to get rid of the excess starch, added them to the pot, and then covered them in vegetable stock. You can use chicken- or beef stock (which would make the soup a bit richer, heavier) or water (if you want it lighter) as well- in this last case you might need to add more salt than you'd think. (Make sure to taste- it should be flavorful, but not salty! Bouillon cubes and premade stocks often have a very high salt content, so if using that, you might find you don't need to add any.)

(It sohuld look something like this.)

"4. Cook for half an hour or so til the potatoes are nice and tender, and mash some of 'em up in the liquid. If you've got any cow products - cheese, milk and the like - add them now for extra delicious results."

From when the mixture starts to boil, it should take about 25-35 minutes of simmering on low heat, covered, for the potatoes to soften- you can test doneness by sticking a fork in one of the pieces, or gently pushing one against the edge of the pot with your wooden spoon. It should give easily at light pressure with both methods.

I then put the sour cream/créme fraiche in a heat-safe container (a mug will do perfectly), and ladled a bit of the hot cooking liquid on top of it, mixing it thoroughly- both to thin it out, and bring the temperatures closer to each other, which should help avoid any curdling. Stirring constantly, I then add the cream mixture to the soup in a thin, slow stream. (Any mildly acidic, creamy dairy product should work here- though I do think yogurt might be a bit too sour, if using that I would probably omit the wine.)

Then, as everything is done cooking and the cream is distributed evenly with no curds, I turn the heat off for safety, and using a very traditional, very fantasy, not at all anachronistic immersion blender, I blitz the entire thing for roughly 30 seconds. You can of course blend it less for more chunks (or remove some cooked potato bits before blending to add them back later), or even longer for a smoother consistency, but I did like that about that much blending left only a few, small chunks of nicely cooked potato in the otherwise smooth and creamy result.

I served with shredded Port Salut cheese and croutons on top- but this is of course optional, and I think just some nice, crusty bread would also work wonderfully!

Go make yourself a video game soup!!!!!!! It's so easy and good!!!!!!!

[rederiswrites]

Menus, Oct. 23-30

Several people were open to seeing my menu planning, and it's something I enjoy doing well, so here we go!

Notes: My dishes can all be gluten free (they are, for us) by using gf pasta (we like Rummo brand gf noodles and Tinkyada are good too). Otherwise, we're pretty generally low carb and most things are from scratch, but typically pretty simple. Most of these rely on root vegetables or beans for their carbohydrates.

Feta tomato pasta and sausage --This was viral on Instagram a while back, and I decided to try it. Now my daughter requests it pretty often. I don't make it quite like the original--mostly, I add some zucchini, double the feta, and add a bunch of Italian seasoning. This link is pretty much the same thing. They add shallots, which does sound lovely but costs a bit extra. I cooked some sausage with the meal because I didn't want to load up on pasta, personally, as I'm still staying very low carb.

"Bowl of the Wife of Kit Carson"--modified caldo tlalpeño--Pity poor Maria Carson, whose indigenous name I can't even learn, now remembered by her husband's name. That aside, it's a family favorite. We make it with the entire can of chiles in adobo, but that's a family preference. The avocados are pretty much the vegetable in this one so uhh...have plenty. I make the rice separate, both because that way you can vary it depending on your spice tolerance and because that way the rice doesn't suck up all the soup for leftovers.

Roast whole chicken, roasted mixed root vegetables, and garlicky kale. I basted the chicken with avocado oil (expensive but healthy; feel free to sub cheaper vegetable oil), seasoned it with a Penzey's mix I like called Ozark Seasoning, and stuffed it with rosemary, onions, and garlic. The root vegetables can be whatever; mine were yellow beets (slightly less "earthy" tasting than red, which might be more appealing to some), rutabaga, and carrots. Salt, pepper, and garlic powder is enough, seasoning-wise. And the kale, I blanch and then saute with a LOT of garlic.

Garlic parmesan white beans, brussels sprouts, and Gujerati carrot salad. I've not made the beans yet; they'll be a new dish for us. Sound great, though, and I'm trying to learn more meatless dishes generally and bean dishes specifically. We like to halve or quarter our brussels sprouts, depending on size, steam them, and then eat them with sour cream. And the carrot salad is a longstanding family favorite, which I got from my well worn copy of Madhur Jaffrey's Indian Cooking. This is almost the same recipe, but I don't add cayenne, and I wouldn't use olive oil, since it has such a low smoke point. I'd use peanut or canola or something. It's not spicy or "exotic" tasting, and it's been well-received at potlucks.

Pot Roast. There's no point giving a recipe for this one; just pick one that looks good to you. Just include lots of good veggies. I like carrots, onions, potatoes, and parsnips. It's fun to add a bag of frozen pearl onions, and I like frozen peas put in at the very end of cooking.

Tuna salad. I eat it over lettuce, the others eat it as a sandwich. Dinner for a tired night. My tuna salad is made with well-drained chunk light (in water), finely diced celery, finely diced green salad olives, salt, pepper, and mayo to bind. My family really likes the olives so I go heavy and also use a little of the jar liquid as a salt stand-in.

Deviled eggs and raw veggies with hummus. Another phone-in meal, or it would be if I didn't find making deviled eggs such a hassle. We all love them, but I have some inexplicable personal antipathy for how long they take to make. ANYWAY, my deviled eggs are the bestest, and you will not think so if you eat yours southern-style with (shudder) "salad dressing" instead of mayo, or sweet relish. No, mine are made with salt, pepper, mayo, and lots of finely minced green salad olives, and topped with paprika, preferably sharp paprika.

Pork tenderloin, frozen corn, and stewed apples and quince. Aren't we just POSH? Jacob got me a quince to try at the farmer's market. It's uh...well pretty much I guess it's like a rock-hard and fairly tart apple, with the granular texture of an Asian pear. They're generally eaten cooked, which is why I decided to stew it mixed with apples. So I just sliced the apples and the quince up fine (just leave out the quince if you don't have it which you probably don't, and maybe add a dash of lemon juice instead), simmered them in a couple tablespoons of apple cider (or juice; we had cider), and threw in a teaspoon of pie seasoning, a fistful of dried cranberries (the recipe called for raisins) and very approximately a tablespoon of allulose syrup. Obviously you could just use sugar instead. I topped mine with pecans and it was so so good. Oh, and also the pork: Usually two tenderloins come in a pack of tenderloins, so I put a different seasoning on each just for fun. Various blends. Lemon pepper and Montreal Steak Seasoning are favorites, but tonight I opened an unlabeled container in the pantry and discovered that it was rosemary salt the bestie made and left here, so I mashed it up with some garlic and put that on one, and did bbq rub on the other. The frozen corn....is frozen corn. Except, you know, microwaved.

[flyingwargle]

osamu knows suna is at his door, has been for the last ten minutes. he refuses to let him in.

he can hear the raucous knocks while buried under his thin blankets. unread notifications pile on his phone, probably from his boyfriend to let him in, or his brother telling him to let his boyfriend in.

they didn’t have a fight or anything; osamu just isn’t in the right state of mind to meet him. the end of the semester is always stressful, and suna visits every time to care for him. osamu loves him for that, but just this once, he wishes he wasn’t here, was held back by practice, or something. he doesn’t want to be seen like this, barely hanging on a thread–

the lock turns. the door clicks open. osamu jolts upright. how the hell did he–

suna catches his eye, studio apartment and all. he doesn’t look surprised, lazy eyes narrowed with the faintest spark of concern. his backpack hangs over one shoulder, plastic bag in hand. “i knew you were ignoring me.”

“how’d ya–“

he lifts a familiar set of keys with his pinky. “you can thank your brother.” suna pockets them, turns to take groceries out from his bag. “i’ll start lunch. you can go back to moping, or whatever.”

“rin–“

osamu draws back when his boyfriend shoots him a look. “i’ll cook. i learned from the best, after all.”

“no,” he mutters as suna turns his back. “i’m not.” bold of suna to say that when the aforementioned best bombed his cooking assessment and nearly sent one of his instructors to the hospital because of his mistake. not to mention what his mentor said the other day, still raw and painful to touch.

suna moves through his kitchenette with ease – he learned how to tango with the pots and pans, cutting boards and knives, bowls and plates. he drops a handful of vegetables in the sink to wash, prepares them one at a time. curious, osamu wraps a blanket around himself and shuffles to his side, watching him dice a green bell pepper, onion, and mushroom. from the fridge, he removes a package of sausages to dice along with slices of bacon. on the stove, a pot of water boils, and suna spreads spaghetti noodles around the rim. a bottle of ketchup remains on the counter.

of course he’s cooking napolitan. it’s the first dish that osamu ever taught him.

“making sure i don’t burn your kitchen down?” suna teases, glancing at him.

he could, and osamu would blame the oil instead. “nah, i trust ya.”

after the noodles are cooked, he strains them, leaves them aside while he sautés the protein and vegetables, adding a generous amount of ketchup. tossing some butter in, he adds the noodles, combines it altogether. osamu hands him a pair of plates, lets him dress the dishes by twisting the spaghetti with his tongs, artfully placing the sautéed vegetables and meat on the sides, and then grates cheese on top. suna grins at him. “lunch is served.”

osamu clears the dining table of his books and laptop so they can eat. it’s always refreshing to eat someone else’s food, someone who isn’t trained in the art of spices, knows the science behind boiling the optimal pasta, isn’t worried about pleasing a variety of palates and tastes…

“hey.” he blinks, suddenly aware of the hand over his. suna looks at him with a frown. “is something wrong?”

“sorry.” osamu swallows the lump in his throat, tries to enjoy his meal. “just stressed. ya know, it’s the end of the semester, an’ all. what ‘bout ya? don’t ya have plans for the off-season?”

“yeah, making sure my boyfriend is cared for.” suna doesn’t look away. “you’re about to cry.”

“no, i ain’t.”

“’samu, i know the look. what happened?”

this is why he didn’t want him here, but at the same time, he does. osamu takes in a breath, feels the familiar pressure behind his eyes, the tightness in his chest. “i bombed my assessment yesterday.”

“i’m sorry. i’m sure you did great–“

“no, rin, i almost put one of the instructors in the hospital ‘cause i used somethin’ they were allergic to. we all knew beforehand but i forgot, an’-“ he closes his eyes. the first tear drops. “but that’s not even the worse thing. ya know, my mentor? i looked up ta him so much, but when i told ‘im i wanted ta open my own restaurant, he just…he…”

i admire your determination, miya, but it’ll be impossible, especially with onigiri. it might be a simple dish, but it’s easy to mess up, and although you’re diligent, i don’t think you have the skills for it.

did he really have to say that, after a year and a half of culinary school? literally a semester away from graduating, from scouting locations for his shop, from fulfilling his dream? now, all he can hear is his mentor’s sigh and apologetic tone. all he can see is his pinched expression and weak smile. i don’t think you have the skills for it.

suna wraps him in a hug. “i’m so sorry. that bastard doesn’t know anything.”

“what if it’s true?” osamu whispers. “i almost poisoned someone. i almost failed business management. i almost chopped my lab partner’s hand off–“

“’samu, you said it yourself – almost. but you didn’t, and you’re aware of what you did wrong. plus, who cares if you suck at numbers? i said i’ll help, and so did your brother, and gin, aran – even kita-san. we’re all here to help.” suna smiles at him. “we help each other with our dreams, did you forget?”

they all attended aran’s debut match. they were subjects for ginjima’s kinesiology projects. they bought all of kita’s rice stock on the first day of opening his business. and now, it’s his turn.

“i shouldn’t hafta rely on ya,” osamu murmurs. “a business owner should be able ta do everything themselves–“

“that’s not right, and you know it. just like volleyball, it takes more than one to be successful, and if you struggle, there’s always someone you can ask to help. that’s where i come in, yeah?”

“yeah. thanks, rin. i really appreciate ya.”

“and you mean more to me than words can ever measure. eat your food and let’s look at properties together.”

cuddled on his bed with his laptop shared between them, it eases the doubt in osamu’s heart, receded for another day. it has a way of manifesting at his most vulnerable moments, but he knows that when it happens, suna will be there for him, and reassure him that everything will turn out fine because he isn’t alone.

[whifferdills]

stopped watching the game and made soup instead:

WHIFFERDILLS BUSTANUT SOUP

->cook this first

1x large butternut squash, split, seeded, and roasted face-down on a sheet pan til soft. parchment paper or silicon mat unless you love scrubbing pans. duration of time for temperature? 400? idk. time. half hour? depends on the squarsh. scoop the flesh out from the rind. there is no graceful way to do this, but a nice big spoon helps.

->this at the same time but it's in a pot, i didn't want to confuse you

2x spanish onion roughly chopped and sauteed down to not quite carmelized, along w a clove or three of minced garlic and a thumb of minced ginger. let the onion cook down a little before adding the garlic and ginger, it'll keep it from burning. if it starts drying out add a little water

little bit of salt. bay leaf, if you remember. other herbs? whatcha got. rosemary is nice sometimes. pull these out before the next step

->then everything in big bowl. add in:

1x pack silken tofu (problems with this? maybe coconut milk and a little less stock down the line. but i really love the sort of ascended 'shitty diner slop' texture silken tofu gives, and it adds a little extra protein)

2c ish vegetable stock

1x confident sploosh vinegar-y hot sauce OR dash of cayenne and some apple cider vinegar

1x sprinkle nutmeg, some black pepper. you can get kind of wacky here, have fun with it! pumpkin spice that shit!!

hand blender time. blitz to shit, salt to taste. i am King MSG so of course, add some here if you have it on hand. maybe more stock if it's too thick but remember: it is difficult to go backwards! add in increments. if you run out of stock, water is fine (try to find the line between 'perfect consistency but a little weak' and 'too thique but taste great')

if you don't have a stick blender, any type of food processor works, just go in batches

if you have no devices: grab a whisk or fork and feel the burn

but seriously a half-decent stick blender is pretty cheap and it WILL change your life

✨immersion blender✨ whatever

->also

i always add in some crunchy vegetables cooked just past raw, since creamy soup like this is so samey-samey. went w brussel sprouts tonight bc that's what's in my fridge but cauliflower works well here. chop to approximate mouth size, toss in oil and salt/pepper, put in Lazy Fuck Steamer Box (hotel pan covered with sheet pan, although any covered cooking vessel is the same). cook at temperature until done (15 minutes at 350? idk). this is the happy idiot way to cook vegetables, the results are average but BOY is it easy. i guess you could roast things instead if it's important to you

great with crusty bread obviously but it's nice sometimes to cook up some wild rice or etc and toss that in for your carb-on-carb action

serves a lot, get your tupperware out