#but the book is just sooooo good it’s exactly what i need in my life rn

[priestfrommidnightmass]

i’m rereading red white and royal blue again right now and first of all i am Flying through it i’ve been in a severe reading slump for like months and months and have read 150+ pages in one day and the only reason i stopped is because i went to see my friends but SECOND. reading the book is kinda making me realize how shitty the movie is like okay it’s not Shitty it’s just so different and they got rid of like so many of my favorite elements. third i’m never going to forgive the director for writing out june i genuinely am NEVER going to forgive for how much we missed out on

[nalyra-dreaming]

Reading the S2 reviews (so beware spoilers ahead!). Wanted to get your take (and others’ if people have thoughts!), citing The Wrap’s review:

“Daniel might be the most radically different character from book to screen. He’s older, more pessimistic and utterly allergic to the allure of vampire life. Only now he is able to confront the deep-seated scars left behind after his night with Louis (although book fans might be disappointed to know that the show doesn’t tease out more of the romance he has with Armand in the books. Theirs is strictly an adversarial relationship in the series.)”

Other reviews confirm that S02E05/the episode about Daniel’s past is not romantic at all, rather a horror episode. Which I’m sure will be good (some describe it as the best episode), but I can’t help being a bit disappointed that they don’t seem to be doing DM - or at least not in this season at all. I think the reviews only cover episodes 1-6, but this reviewer seems so very sure… (also they seem to know the books so I’m guessing the episode won’t be too similar to the book either. Meaning it won’t end with “the chase” or will it?). So is there a real risk that no DM will play out?. The greatest hint of DM in my view was Zaman’s podcast appearance where he stated that Armand is curious about Daniel and that there is a history there. But this could just be referring to their horror-filled encounter in episode five. So I don’t know, I’m a little sad - was pretty excited for some f*cked up memory stuff (there is just something so compelling with the idea of discovering that there is a whole side of your life that you’ve lost - that this person you don’t know is someone you loved etc.). I wanted to see what it would do to Daniel and Armand respectively, and I wanted their dynamic to be as interesting as possible. Remember reading speculation that Daniel will remember more in the finale - maybe a romantic aspect but I think it was just pure speculation, no hints or comments from the cast/writers backing this up.

What do you think? Grateful to hear your thoughts! Also, I’m still psyched about this season of course, looking forward to the Armand/Louis romance, the Theatre! Hayles performance is supposedly going to be amazing, and I’m looking forward to more of Daniel’s snark obviously! It feels unreal that the season is around the corner!

It is!!! And I am also sooooo hyped, it's unreal *laughs*

Okay, so... first of all, it's always a thing of perspective with reviews. For example, there's this as well, after episode 1:

Now... that is no review, granted.

But it's perception. I... do not think that all of the "Devil's Minion" will be spelled out in the first episodes (nor do I think we will get all of it this season!). In fact, I think the horror that "he loved this monster" is part of the horror of it all, this realization. And that will very likely be in the last episodes, in whichever way.

So. With that in mind - btw, which review did confirm it's ep5? (I only saw that focused comment I think?) - I did not expect Devil's Minion to be "happy". In fact, I think it might have stalking, cages, attacks, and the beginning of the chase - and that chase does NOT start out as cute.

Daniel just gets used to it, over time. And then Armand falls in love.

Season 2 is going to be significantly darker. I bet it's also going to be a lot campier, if the comments to this hold true, with dark humor. But they're leaning fully into the horror aspects of this vampire world now, and the beginning of the Devil's Minion is exactly that - horrific.

The above review matches with what Jacob said about Louis and Daniel forming alliances... and I bet that alliance is indeed needed to drag the whole story out.

And when that whole story is out - that will lead to repercussions.

THAT in turn goes for Louis just as much as it goes for Daniel... because this second interview has just as much to do with him.

So... I would wait until you can see it with your own eyes?! :)

I mean... AMC's promotion(and pairing of the actors) speaks a very loud language? And Assad said he had chemistry read with "Daniel"... for reasons.

But it won't all be revealed in the screeners. I bet the last two episodes will pack a punch.

Maybe even literally. 😜

[graphx]

something I’m exploring in my fic actually

Re-reading how spiteful Lucas got over the years of living in the hunting ground.

As far as we know only Gracefield is the only farm that doesn’t have some kind of town worked into the coverup/backstory. Lucas and Yuugo might have recognized goldy pond’s architecture as similar to glory bell since they were both built by the ratri clan and in the end they both became farms. Analyzing Minerva’s actions you can see how he was influenced by his upbringing as a Ratri.

he gives the lab rats the tools to break out, but doesn’t actually help them do so. It’s almost like changing factors in an experiment but not doing anything more. Exactly the kind of experiments that the Ratri has been putting children through in Lamba.

(From the perspective of the readers we know that Minerva died for supplying them with information, guns, shelters and a way out under the farms, but from the perspectives of kids who didn’t know that? Kids who had the whole world against them? Obviously they would be suspicious)

like lucas mentions here, he originally thought it was a lie/trap all along. From the trio’s perspective we see how they rule out Minerva being an enemy but we never see how Yuugo’s group escaped. Maybe they were less dependent on Minerva’s help? Was the pen the reason they escaped? Did they use the book and THEN start to trust Minerva? Was their trust of Minerva’s plans for them equal to the trios? Were they more distrusting since they didn’t have a sonju/mujika to help them?

(if bunker dads hadn’t died at the beginning of the search for cultivida arc their differences in perspective/opinion of Minerva would have been great for emma considering if the seven walls was the best option. While norman does represent the other half of this conflict we could have gotten some more gray areas to explore with the bunker dads as an alternative! Seeing Lucas and Norman bond would have been sooooo interesting!!!)

It would be so cool to explore how yuugo took the events of the hunting ground and blamed himself while Lucas blamed Minerva.

it actually kinda parallels the main trio. Emma blames herself for not doing enough to get everyone out alive while Norman blames outside factors (more specifically demons rather than Minerva but it would be cool to see what Norman thinks of Minerva actually. Yeah he uses his name and resources to get what he wants, but does he blame Minerva for not doing enough? For only giving them a choice rather than bringing down the system? Does Norman hate giving up his identity to be this god like figure? Does he hate the role he has to fill? The shoes he has to grow into??? Sorry rambling love exploring characterization—)

but yeah it would be cool to see how lucas, yuugo and dina parallel the OG trio as the group that lost their emma.

lucas (like norman) rallies other people to the cause, makes a rebellion and helps in every way he can (side note when emma looses her memories norman is happy that she can still live a good life regardless which parallels lucas being happy that yuugo is alive even if he didn’t go back to help them)

yuugo (like ray) shuts down when his plan is ruined and there is no other alternative solution

we don’t get that much characterization for dina so sadly I can’t parallel her to emma much

but we do see in her final moments she was encouraging her family to do the best they could even while holding her dying family members in her arms while staring down certain death. That fits Emma pretty well!

anyway thats it, thanks for reading! I just needed to get this down before I forgot lol

i would love your thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[softpine]

I'm still thinking about your characters and what their valentines day would look like currently where your story is so can I ask what everyone would be doing? I imagine Austin bringing flowers to Elaine and she loses it. Would Matt text Stevie? Mickaela and Dan pegging. Casper and Coco 👀????? Alisa messing with Jada. Stevie maybes annoying KD asking her what she's doing for v-day

omg i'm sorry my answer is so late 😭 if this were just a normal valentine's day and nothing life-threatening was happening to anyone, then what you said is exactly how everyone would be spending it ;-;

stevie annoying KD on valentine's day is sooooo true oh my god i can only imagine how insufferable she would be. she would bake a bunch of cookies and bring them into work like "here's a cookie for you! and here's a cookie for your...... partner? 🤨 and here's a cookie for your..... child? 👀 and here's a cookie for your..... other child? 🤔 just tell me when to stop. here's a cookie for your... dog? 🧐 here's a cookie for...."

coco is BOOKED for valentine's day. sorry to anyone who wishes they could make plans with her, she goes all out for this!! not even for monetary gain (it's actually a pretty slow day for sw), it's just always been her favorite holiday and she loves the decorations & outfits. although this would be the first time she's been 100% single since she was a teenager, so that would be tough, but that's all the more reason to throw herself into her work. casper is not part of this equation, he's going on a failed tinder date and making his mom sad because she was sure this would be the one sjkfjsd

definitely agree about austin buying elaine flowers, but really all elaine wants is a heartfelt card attached to them 🥺 she also organizes galentine's day (asa counts as an honorary gal) every year 💖

matt would fumble his way into some awkward misunderstanding with stevie, probably involving another goddamn stuffed animal fjskjfsd

jada would literally call off work on valentine's day. she is NOT emotionally prepared for whatever hell alisa would bestow upon her 😭 and since her dad is dating again she'd probably be alone but that's perfectly fine with her. a moment of peace is better than a valentine

finn would do something so sappy for valentine's day if here were here ughhhhh :( he'd have to step it up since he's already given asa flowers a few times and of course the unbeatable gift that was the antlers... the greatest gift asa could give to finn would be to chill the fuck out and not break the universe for one singular day lol

caroline starts getting cynical about love around valentine's day because so many people come into her shop asking for their bf/gfs name tattooed and she has to turn them away because she's not going to be complicit in bad decisions (DON'T ask her what tattoo she had covered up on her back 👿) but then she comes home and beth cooks dinner for her and lights one of their good candles and she believes in love again 😌

and we must not forget mikaela/danny pegging, as if they ever need a reason lmao. they're doing some convoluted roleplay that only they understand, making good use of their repertoire of spirit halloween costumes

[kikuism]

hi mariam!! how about you? any books you're looking forward to reading? ooh, or manga?? any shows or movies that you enjoyed recently? or new tasty meals or baked goods that you've been proud of? 💌 🥐📚

hi jenna! 🤎🤎🤎 ooh let's see

for books, there are a lot on my tbr, but i'm excited for lady macbeth by ava reid! i really love how lyrical her writing is and i always look forward to anything she writes. i'm also tentatively looking forward to the familiar by leigh bardugo — i've only read the six of crows duology and ninth house, but i love a historical setting so i think i might like this one more than ninth house. oh, another book i enjoyed whose sequel i'm eagerly waiting for is the art of prophecy, it's a martial arts fantasy and it's exactlyyyyy what i wanted to read for so long! i needed something to fill in the green bone saga hole left in my heart, and while this isn't exactly a serious epic family saga, it had just the right amount of martial arts and compelling characters to leave me satisfied. it's honestly like if fujimoto wrote a novel. none of these characters were taking themselves too seriously and the writing wasn't taking itself seriously but at the same time there were epic fights scenes and emotional scenes that packed a punch (no pun intended). i really enjoyed it, i loved how funny it was. the fact that the main characters are majority women and one pathetic chosen one warrior is sooooo fujimoto coded. this boy can't do a single thing right and it's up to one of the greatest martial arts legends, an old woman, to take him under her wing and make sure he lives up to the prophecy that's been foretold. included in the cast is the most cringe fail assassin i have ever read in my LIFEEEEE, she's soooo embarrassing when it comes to flirting with other girls it's crazy. she's an insane killer but can't pick up a date to save her life. and who's she trying to flirt with? the other main character, a stoic warrior who's fighting for her people's freedom, she's soooo 🫣 so it was hugely entertaining and i can't wait to get the sequel from the library. i honestly Need to read more fantasy books like this, it's so much fun.

oh, i also finished bel canto last night, and it was.....strange. it's about a mass hostage situation that eventually morphs into something surreal and romantic. yeah, i think romantic is definitely the word bc there is no way this would happen in real life, it was just so impossible to me that these high profile hostages, foreign dignitaries and ceos and whatnot bonding with their captors who want to start a revolution like 😭 in the end they all become a huge family which was equal parts charming and equal parts baffling. so i had to really suspend my disbelief. they were really under house arrest with their captors for 4.5 months, that's crazy. but eventually i stopped asking how they didn't push for negotiations more fiercely and how the police and crowds outside didn't just break in and deal with it and just enjoy the language. i think it's about how people can form impossible bonds in impossible circumstances and so from that aspect it was charming and surreal. i've read 3 books from ann patchett and there's no doubt she writes really beautifully. it's just that after about 100 pages i was like okay....i get it, really. do we really need 200 more pages of this? and the epilogue was stupid i'm sorry...so it was a strange experience.

for manga!! tbh it's been soooo hard for me to get into manga lately, i really think this is because as the years go by it's just harder and harder for me to read on my phone, it's just not a comfortable experience. but then on my laptop, the screen is too big 😭 BUT i did actually start an ongoing manga called firefly wedding, which is about an aristocratic girl with a chronic illness who ends up marrying an assassin for her safety after she's captured. the premise sounded really interesting, so i started reading, and i actually really loved the beginning. the girl really just wants to abide by her duties and marry someone respectable for the sake of her family (she's quite no-nonsense about it, which really reminded me of naomi....) during the course of the story she realizes that because of her condition, she doesn't have much time left, and wouldn't she want to spend it doing what she wants instead of what's expected of her? so what ends up being a marriage of convenience ends up becoming more complex as she starts developing feelings for the assassin. and the assassin, well, he's kind of insane 😭 he's a yandere and like ofc he's written like that, very possessive and toxic, and at times he can be a little too much for me. i really liked their dynamic at the beginning, when they were constantly trying to one-up each other in little sly ways—sooooo good. and obviously someone like him has never known love, so he's always testing her limits to see if she's really committed to him because in truth he also just wants someone to love and be loved in return. and he's really cocky which i really love, which made me really drawn to him....but i liked how she didn't take any shit from him and she made sure he knew it too. i really liked watching their feelings develop.

it's just, when she starts developing feelings in return, and their romance further develops, so does his possessiveness.....'the thought of you with another man is more agonizing than death' ummm 🧐🤔🤨 so like, moments like that made me go oh! is that supposed to be romantic? and i'll admit some parts i was like 'girl he's crazy!!!!! how can you be falling for him???' hgkshfjdj but i get it, he knows nothing of the world of people and relationships and he's learning slowly. he's obviously written like that on purpose, this is the only way he knows how to operate in the world, he doesn't know better. AND something else i really like is that during these scenes, she's visibly unsettled; she makes her discomfort clear to him, so i really appreciate that, and that takes him down several notches. i like how he listens to her that way.

they're slowly shaping each other's worldview, which i like. i like how they both learn from each other; she learns how to take chances, and he learns how to listen to others and take accountability.

plus the manga does this thing where it presents double meanings all the time and i just had to screenshot this moment, it's from a scene where she has to pretend to seduce a client in order to get something valuable from him, and he starts getting physical with her, and the assassin comes to the rescue, and obviously everyone outside can hear that something's going wrong but they won't intervene bc it's a brothel:

'we wouldn't want to be in the way of someone who is trying to make their beloved fall more deeply in love with them' hellooooo?????? i gasped.

she has a scar on her chest from a surgery she had to undergo because of her weak heart, and she's self conscious about it, but then the assassin shows her all of his scars and says there's nothing to worry about, it was really cute.

and then some time later her bodyguard shows up, and he's like 'im gonna take you back home no matter what! i can't believe you've been out here like this for so long' and i was like ohhhhh my god please don't make him an annoying overbearing love interest please please please BUT i was pleasantly surprised!!! he's concerned for her, of course, and he has feelings for her and they've known each other since childhood, but he also ends up coming to respect her wishes and autonomy and hes now cooperating with her and the assassin to make sure she can live out her own life. it's really sweet. i do roll my eyes at the rivalry he and the assassin have though, but i love how they're all working together and they both respect her, it's great. anddddd i'm obvious like this but like the bodyguard more hgjshfhf he's the nice one (and his name his kou!!!) and i've always liked the nice guys instead of the bad ones.

so yeah i'm enjoying this manga quite a bit. plus it takes place in the meiji period which i love. i just wish it was already completed, because it's very hard for me to consistently maintain an interest in ongoing manga bc it only takes a few missed chapters for me to end up abandoning it oops. and it's soooo funny that my main complaint is that the love interest is just too much of a yandere bc that's literally the whole point 😭😭😭 it's exactly what it says on the tin, but i have to share my truth....i'm just not used to it at all so it's a bit much at times. sometimes the scenes that are supposed to be romantic make me go oh 🤔 but i'm excited for him to meet her family.....

the art style is so nice too!!! i really love it

as for anime, i did watch two episodes of the apothecary diaries and i liked it, it didn't hook me, but i plan on continuing it eventually. i think maomao is an interesting protagonist! there's some new anime i want to watch, like windbreaker, it just looks really nice. and i need to catch up with dungeon meshi, i haven't watched the last 3 episodes oops. as for movies, i watched the sound of music recently (everybody clap, i watched an old movie) and i liked it, it was charming! too long, but it was cute and corny. i also watched the classic korean thriller old boy, which was crazyyyyyy....that's all i'm going to say. also watched midsommar, which was.....kind of....mid 😭 sorry. i think my expectations were too high, because hereditary scared the shit out of me. but this was just.....okay. it was too overt for my liking. florence pugh was great though. oh, and for shows, i want to watch shogun, bc i just can't believe it's as good as everyone says it is 😭 idk why, i just have to see it for myself to believe it.

no updates on baking and cooking, it's just been the same old...i'm actually trying to just perfect the basics. i want to make the tastiest eggs and the perfect pizza. lately i've been kneading dough by hand and it's so satisfying and i can actually feel when it's ready instead of relying solely on the mixer, and my pizza has been coming out fluffier and softer so i love that.

i'm also getting back into crochet (it's like an on and off relationship at this point) and i always think i've forgotten but i'm pleased to note that it's muscle memory now. i'm crocheting a basket and tbh i really love crocheting things like that. i don't know if i would wear crocheted clothes but i really love making baskets and bags and whatnot. i just wish this wasn't an expensive hobby.....for this basket i had to buy 4 skeins of yarn and a new hook which ended up costing $50 😭 so i think that's why i just don't do it as often as i want to. however, i really do want to get into tapestry crochet/intarsia, i did it when crocheting my kobo sleeve, but it was messy and i want to make another one and improve my technique, maybe even make some wall hangings.

sorry for this novel length response omg!!! are there any new books you're looking forward to jenna!!

[anniephl]

Questions Tag Game

Thank you for the tag @mysticnightmarewrites!

do you make your bed? No, plus at some point I learned you should let the bed cool off and air out to reduce bed mites/ parasites 🤢

favorite number? Seven has always been my fave, then some of my favorite media also being seven books or seasons reinforced it (HP, GG, Mad Men, etc.)

what’s your job? business management, accounting

if you could go back to school, would you? I've always had issues juggling life (mental health/ adulting/ socializing/ school/ work) so probably not unless I magically got lots of support

can you parallel park? YEP! I'm SOOOOO good!!! 😜😜😜

do you think aliens are real? Knowing how much variety exists just here on our planet, it logically makes sense to me that more is out there

can you drive a manual car? Not yet, I've always wanted to learn and usually pick up skills easily, so 😎🏎️

what’s your guilty pleasure? Gendrya fanfic, sugary treats

tattoos? None, I'm indecisive and sometimes regret things so I've held off, possibly/ probably will never get any

favorite color? I like basically all colors except in the yellow and orange ranges, but I wear a lot of black and grays then have pops of color 😂

do you like puzzles? YES!!!! I usually need to stimulant my brain, currently Sudoku and that Toon block game on my phone, Mahjong matching, card solitaire/ spider/ freecell

any phobias? Not exactly, scared to fall from tall heights and snakes creep me out

favorite childhood sport? Softball/ baseball, was rather good but didn't stick with it because I wanted to have fun and didn't like being around the mean aggressive girls as I grew up

do you talk to yourself? No, recently learned the term Alexithymia and it might be why I've never thought in words and have trouble explaining myself

I'd like to tag all my mutuals but I'm REALLY limiting myself here, so whoever wants to partake 🤣 ...... @thereluctantbadger @psychvamp25 @sneetchstar @mrbinglee @obsessivewriter @valsore @meorty @mybodyachesfromgivingthemhell @the-end-is-kigh @dragongoddess13 @welt-verbessererin

[mydysfunctionalvampirefamily]

I'm sooooo excited!!! My first episode caught up!

No! Not the music 😂😂😂 oh okay it was not that smooth sex jazz lmao.

Rufio???? In Miles's lust thing? Okay I'll have to wait and see how this works. ELSA THOUGH!!!

Protect your man!!!!

Oh Elsa 😔 "I wish you were there, you probably would have made the difference."

Ohhhhhhh this is really good. Part of Miles's dreams or lust is the thought that him being there could have saved people. It's such a self absorbed thing lmao. Like he is the lynchpin.

Sidenote: the sound design and the music is so good this episode, and I know it's not the case but I get such a giggle out of imagining this is done just to spite that one YouTube commenter who was like when are you all going to incorporate that when it has been for quite a bit. 😂

Elsa being there to listen to him. 😭

He would want Marcos back!!

She gives him the book to get people back from the dead. The fact that this is what tempts him!!

To have what you have to Britta. "She was never there to replace you."

No shit they weren't rational, Marcos!!! I'm losing my goddamn mind over here!!!

The fact that he thinks the reward is to get one of them back to life. Fuck me!

Pendragon is human???? Absolutely wild. I get it though. But also Romeo and Pendragon there at the same time??? I mean at this point we all think canary and Romeo were together, yes?

Britta's biggest hope is being human. 😭

A painting of Dark Selina above the fireplace with blue flames???

Her wish that the harsh sides of Pendragon were not his own but forced into him. That he would want to be different. Him wanting to impress his sire and not him just something that's inside of him. That he lets her know him better.

Ohh human AND vampire Pendragon.

Ohhh interesting. Pendragon wanting her for her humanity or wanting her for her killer side.

"I adoooore how strong you are." fuck this guy and fuck that he is so hot. I hate him. He's too powerful. 😂

"I can't beat him without you." *SCREECHING*

Oh my God! Z!!!! HELL YESSSSSS I'm glad he's back somehow!!

I love that they are both almost failing!!!

Khaliffffff babbbbby!!! Yes Neil's sire!!! 👀 I'm so intrigued. I need to know more.

Awww Neil 🥰🥰 wanting to save his friends.

Of course his fucking sire 'knows' exactly what he needs. Fuck you!! Go home!

No Miles doesn't have the enst track record, that is fair. But he tries, and that has to count for something.

I do love his sire just hating on Miles, I bet that does make Neil feel a little better.

Also calling it playing house with Roman Pendragon would so appeal to Neil. Who has been so judgemental about all of this with Britta.

👀 Neil talking to his sire. Like I'm sorry but we need like a prequel book about their fucked up relationship and the abuse and manipulation.

"they're yours." ohhhhhhh goosebumps.

Not the tearful "are they?" my baby boy 😭 this is gonna make me cry.

Neil!!! You're so good! I'm proud of you. 🥰

"boogiemen and a pretty girl." dismissive of Nara in a way that will please some people I know.

Hey Sire why don't you shut up!!! Neil did what he should do, he came to insight!! Leave him alone!

"Let's fix Miles." ohhhhh damnnn. Like I know this is all very difficult for the characters to deal with, but it is SO fun to listen to!

Z. Who is this she??? 👀👀👀

Of course he wants to be the solution! Look at Wynn!!!

Ohhhh yeahhhh baby more temptation!!! One of them is going to die????!!!! Absolutely not. That's not allowed. Resurrection tho. 👀 It will cost you nothing? Suss. Soooooooo suss.

Heyhooooo let's gooooooooooo temptation in the best way.

The idea of sacrificing himself for power and to save his friends, so alluring. Which is so funny because I don't think any of his friends would think it would take this particular shape.

AAAAAAAHHHHH, for realsies???? Lmao of course he did. 😂😂(I bet it's because Tim wants that special sword path he talked about. /j)

I'm so happy!!! Miles deserves to make bad decisions as a treat. I love that for him. 😈

Britta, my girl, I proud of you, but I knew you could do it.

🤢 Those sounds

Oh joy, we get Shrike, you're not making it better but I love that you try even if it's not that hard.

Ohhhhh yessss him offering to undo the indoctrination!!! Of course that is the biggest temptation, figuring out who she used to be.

"I wanted to be more of myself again." "you don't even know who you are?" that's fucked up.

Shrike is an asshole but he makes me laugh with the awful, dickish things he says.

Even here the canary gets triggered??? Poor Britta.

She did it!!!

What the fuck man, that was an insane episode. But so fucking good! I'm alrwady exited to relisten to it.

[rollercoasterwords]

Hi Rae! How are you? I hope you’re doing well! 💞✨

I just wanted to humbly ask if you perhaps, by chance, have any recommendations for some heartwrenching, soul crashing, life altering, unhinged, fucked up fics? Any or all of those descriptors. I don’t care what ship! (As long as it’s queer in some way) Or really even what fandom! I am just. Starved. And I need sustenance in the form of a tragic or fucked up story PLEASE (and if it’s not too much to ask preferably something that’s novel length or above so I can really drown myself in it).

Every time you’ve recommended something I’ve really liked it so i thought I would see if you had anything! But no pressure if not!! <33

babe i wish i could help but honestly i have not really been reading much fic this year 🤧 all the recs i have are probably just gonna be the ones i've already recced on this blog so i will do my best but this will likely be very repetitive lmao

if u r looking for something. long + fucked-up the best i can suggest from what i have read is:

bury a friend by theinvisiblemuseum @theinvisiblemuseum

notes on a resurrection by newleaves

who we are in the shadows by quicksilvermaid

crimson rivers by bizarrestars @mayzarbewithyou

choices by messermoon @sophsicle

astra inclinant by eleventy7 @tinyhistory

honestly not sure if any of these r gonna be exactly what ur looking for but! based on ur description i actually have. a book series. that i would highly highly recommend 2 u. it's called the feverwake duology just 2 books (book 1 title is the fever king) and it's sooooo soo so good + honestly fits the exact vibe ur talking abt....absolutely gutted me + i still go back + reread bc i love it sm so.....there is that as well xoxo

anyway hope u find the story ur looking for!!

[mermaidsirennikita]

I read the Footman after seeing your posts about it and I loved it!! What are your favorite books by SM LaViolette? I want to read more of her but I’m not sure where to start. Thank you 💖💖💖

I'm so glad people have been loving that book! The LaViolette ouvre is so good.

I enjoyed both The Postilion and The Bastard (the next two books in that series) but I'll fully admit that The Postilion is a very weird romance and I feel like The Footman goes fairly smoothly into John Fielding's book (The Bastard). It's a very sweepingly romantic story wherein he basically sees a lady on his quest for Revenge and becomes obsessed with her. She's actually his biological father's sister-in-law (he's been ruining the guy's life for Revenge), and he sort of stumbles into blackmailing her into marrying him, lmao. It's very "big gruff damaged man/sweet woman", which doesn't always work for me, but it really did there.

My faaavorite LaViolette may still be Hyacinth, which is the second Bellamy book. These are somewhat lighter than her Masqueraders books. Hyacinth focuses on the sort of awkward sister in the family, who's clearly neurodivergent (and also not super gender-conforming?). The family is on the brink of destitution, so she's been dressing up as a man and and playing cards at night to get cash (she's really good at it). This rakish, scarred, scandalous duke plays with her and notices her (but totally doesn't pick up on her being a girl lol) and they sort of become... friends? But then he DOES find out she's a girl, and they begin this no-strings affair that quickly spirals into feelings. But Hy is convinced that she doesn't FEEL feelings. Has one of the best "heroine fucks off and the hero loses his mind and chases after her" sequences I've ever read. Which leads to...

Selina, which I just read. Selina is the prettiest sister who's really only been valued for her looks. Her role is to marry well to save the family. Then Hyacinth, obviously, spoiler alert, gets with an actual factual loaded duke and everyone is like "that was unexpected" and Selina is left purposeless. So she kinda runs off to find herself and grabs a job as a housekeeper under a fake name lol. But it turns out that the master of the house is this marquess who used to be a rake but has been holed up in his house... because he was in an accident that killed his wife and his best friend and left him blind. This doesn't have a ton of PLOT but it does have great character development. It's super romantic. A slower burn than a lot of her other books, but very well done. A total "feel your feelings" book.

Melissa and The Vicar is great. Her whole Seducers trilogy is really solid, tbh. Melissa is a madame who goes on a vacation because she has a stomach ulcer from stress, and she ends up falling for this virginal, sweet vicar who obviously has no idea about her past. And she REALLY struggles with feeling not good enough for him. Has ANOTHER amazing "woman disappears and he tracks her down like a dog" sequence. Like. The man goes CRAAAAAAAAAAZY. Which, no surprise, Melissa took his innocence!!!! On a couch!!!!!

Joss and The Countess may compete with Hyacinth for my favorite lol. In this one, Joss, who's a former sex worker (the Seducers are all current or former sex workers) is the footman for Alicia, an elegant twice-widowed countess who is basically trolling London for SOMEONE who will give her what she needs in the sack. Everyone falls short. But Joss knows EXACTLY what she wants because he's literally a pro, and they begin this affair that's very interclass and again, starts as physical but blooms into this really passionate love. She's SOOOOO thirsty lol. And their feelings become so tender. And it has such great angst. And it's SO. HOT. Also, Alicia is 39ish and Joss is 27, which is unusual in the subgenre.

Hugo and The Maiden. Hugo is like, an annoying dude in the first two books lol. He's a super popular sex worker (among men and women) and he basically gets framed for a crime by an enemy. He's sent off to be transported, but the ship wrecks and he ends up on this tiny island, being dogwalked by an uptight, bossy, UNTOUCHED vicar's daughter. He's very bitchy and grumpy about it, and she's like "dude I am so unimpressed whatever". Kind of reminds me of Devil in Winter on speed, tbh.

And if you reeeeeally wanna get wild lol, she has a series of true historical erotic romances called Victorian Decadence. I've just dipped my toe into these but plan on reading more ASAP. His Valet is EXCELLENT. Another contender for the top spot. In this one, the hero is this successful businessman who has a valet that is very devoted to him. The valet is actually a woman (or like... she uses she/her pronouns for the most part and identifies a woman by the standards of the day--she reads more nonbinary) in disguise, who was raised as a man by her father. Jo is super devoted to her job, but she's also obsessed with the boss, so she finally gives herself something and sets up this situation where she basically meets him dressed as a woman at this brothel, wearing a mask. And it's supposed to just be a few nights, but he falls in love, and the web gets EXTREMELY. TANGLED.

It's both stupid and very, very emotional. I loved it. Another FABULOUS grovel.

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Most-Listened of January 2024

[last month]

Yeah, winter officially hit this month. Half of December was too Finals to be winter, and the other half was me reflecting on the year in music (so lots of 2023's most hard-hitting songs, which weren't exactly cozy winter music!). But in January, the snowy-gray-won't-leave-the-house mood actually hit--and I think it shows in this list (prepare yourself for LOTS of gloomy folk)! There were so many exciting releases this month, though, even though I couldn't muster up all that much energy about them--I'm really excited to see how the Sleater-Kinney, G-IDLE & Andrea Santiago albums will age!

1 . Boy's a liar Pt.2 -- PinkPantheress, Ice Spice

Yeah I sooooo get it now!! Like I don't fully get the lyrics, but it's so charming that I don't care! It's peak girl-next-door sweetness :)

2. BDH - Acústica Versión -- Bely Basarte

The first time I heard this, I wrote down: "Now THIS is how you do layered harmonies, cowards." I stand by my assessment—this is proof that acoustic tracks aren't boring, at least not when you give them a soundscape as beautiful as this one!

3. Tanta adrenalina -- Bely Basarte

This reminds me of the summer I was obsessed with Chung Ha's "California Dream"—even in January, I need some light, fluffy house in my life! (And yes, you can see that my Bely Basarte phase has kept going strong from last month!!)

4. Big Black Car -- Gregory Alan Isakov

I am a sad boy <3 (HOPE WAS A LETTER I NEVER COULD SEND !!!!)

5. Lost On You -- LP

I've been watching Loudermilk this month, and when I heard this song in the end credits of an episode, I instantly went to find it online. It's so wonderfully desolate, especially with those vocals... and the soft jingling of the guitar... *happy arm wave*

6. Southern Star -- Gregory Alan Isakov

Can’t stop singing this one—the melody is pure magic!

7. When the Party's Over -- Faux Paz

I like the original version better, but I'll never get tired of Faux Paz, either!

8. Ungrateful -- Megan Thee Stallion, Key Glock

Saw @shyreol post about this, and I'm so glad I decided to check it out (thank you for sharing)!! I'm absolutely obsessed with the hook—instant comfort song!

9. The Healing Game -- Van Morrison

Loudermilk part 2. This one hasn't even been played in the show yet, as far as I know, it just gets quoted by one of the characters—and deservingly, because these lyrics hit HARD. (And now I can cross 'liking a new Van Morrison song' off my music bucket list for the year—thanks, Loudermilk!)

10. Lalalala -- Stray Kids

This one has lost most of its appeal after a few weeks of listening, but it was very good noise to keep me sensory-happy during some rough weeks (and that ‘lalalalala’ hook is still great)! We'll see how it ages, I guess!

11. The Fall -- Gregory Alan Isakov

Speaking of Stray Kids, Isakov's lower register in this song is GLORIOUS.

12. Soldier, Poet, King -- The Oh Hellos

Believe it or not, I hadn’t heard of this one before December! It’s so good tho :)

13. What's Love -- Empress Of, MUNA

This sounds like the best parts of nighttime—it’s a little more muted than most synthpop these days, but it manages to stand out with just how ethereal it is! The production really just gets more beautiful with every listen—okay, maybe I just have a thing for vocoders…

14. La isla de Lesbos -- Javiera Mena

I don't really remember listening to this one in the past month? But I'm not mad about it being here—it's a classic in my book, because I can never say no to sparkly house music!

15. Smiley -- Yena, Bibi

An instant shot of energy, every time!! So glad I finally added Yena to my stan list, her music soooo deserves it!

Five-Star Songs This Month:

Ungrateful -- Megan Thee Stallion, Key Glock

Hell -- Sleater-Kinney (i mentioned how excited i was about this album right?? i love the texture of this song i love how it go grrrrr i love the line “hell is just a place that / we can’t seem to live without” !! i have a very good feeling about this one helping me get through the year SCREEEEEE)

BDH - Acústica Versión — Bely Basarte

Certainty -- Big Thief (this is what love is to me btw like i realized this month that i don’t think any other song has captured it better so here we are) (YOU LAY BESIDE ME / SLEEPING ON A PLANE / IN THE FUUUUUTUREEEEEEEE)

Was I Just Another One -- Gregory Alan Isakov (i listened to this allll the time in 2020, but i ended up developing a new appreciation for its atmosphere this month like good god i’m in awe GLOOMY FOLK GLOOMY FOLK IT IS A WASTELAND IT IS IMMACULATE EEEEEE !!)

[trevisos]

love when you rb ask games bc im desperate to know everything about your little guys. 2 & 14 for both xarrai and ieriyn

ur in luck bc i looove rambling about my little guys :) ty for the ask!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖

2. What's something about your OC that people wouldn't expect just from looking at them?

xarrai:

see the thing is by design xarrai looks like Just Another Bard, esp if we're talking about like pre-game when they're just living their life in baldur's gate. sure they’re like, a 6'7" (if we count the horns n everything) purple tiefling who's covered in tattoos but the gate is a big city and that's not really all that unusual. there are plenty of things one wouldn't expect just from looking at xarrai but that's kind of their whole thing. sooooo here is a kind of silly and fun example i haven't talked much about: they have such a soft spot for tiefling kids. they're immediately smitten with the kids in the grove and half the reason they actually end up helping the tieflings out is because they don't want anything to happen to them. they nearly start shit with kagha over the whole thing with arabella and are just barely talked down by gale (much to astarion's disappointment lol.) mol and mattis remind them so much of themself (or at least of the child they could have been) and i do think xar keeps an eye on mol in the guild post-game, or at least whenever they're in baldur's gate. they would never ever want to be a parent (and would make a frankly abysmal one at that. like can u imagine them and astarion trying to raise a child? the thing would need therapy before it could talk.) but they are fond of the little shits. they're fond of yenna too (they were also an outer city street kid once after all) but the tiefling kids just Get Them.

ieriyn:

honestly i think ieriyn is kind of an open book, at least early/pre-game. you can pretty easily predict like. most things about this kid in one look. BUT i do think once someone gets to know him they find that despite being sheltered and naïve he really does have a strong sense of right and wrong and a soft heart. he's just like. spoiled and stupid about it. he also has a dry sense of humor that takes a minute to really notice.

and here's a silly one too: i think he's really into houseplants. he's a houseplant girlie. his room at home is full of lush tropical plants and he loves taking care of them :) (as long as he can wash his hands immediately after touching the dirt. he hates dirt. he has autistic tboy swag for real.)

14. How does your OC want to be seen by other characters?

xarrai:

hmm okay so this is... it depends i think on who we're talking about. xarrai is constantly trying to show other people exactly who or what they want to see - patriars see a pretty whore, tavern patrons see a flamboyant bard, the guild sees a talented information broker, the list goes on. for the first section of the game, every member of the party sees someone different in them too because they're trying to secure their control over the situation and others are more likely to listen to them if they think xarrai is trustworthy. it doesn't take long before the party starts to notice that their views of xarrai don't line up tho tbh; it's hard to maintain like six different personas, even if the differences are only slight. (this does cause some trust issues, especially with lae'zel who already did not get along super well with xar lol.) generally though the kind of Core Vibe they're trying to put off is someone carefree and unassuming. they don't want to give anyone too much insight into what they're thinking or feeling, and they would much rather be underestimated than properly appraised. they sort of try to hide their "real" skills behind their more "showy" ones - if someone is praising them for being a great storyteller they're likely not paying attention to the way that story is being spun, and if someone is busy thinking about how good xarrai is at giving head they probably don't notice that they've stolen half the gold from their purse lol

ieriyn:

ieriyn desperately wants people to see him as Worthy. of what he's not entirely sure honestly - love? praise? care? power? he's trying really hard to seem competent and in control but he's largely just scared and lost and alone. like. he's terrified of his magic because it's unpredictable and hard to control but he wants people to think he's good at it, and tbf, he does have raw talent he absolutely is a Magical Gifted Kid (again. autistic tboy swag), he's just being held back by his own fear. he just wants people to see him as special and worthy of the greatness he tries to pretend he deserves. if that makes sense. idk i am still working on getting a really good solid grasp of ieriyn tbqh

[stereax]

15 People 15 Questions with Stereax - thanks @simmyfrobby for the direct tag and @jonassiegenthighler for the GC tag <3

1. are you named after anyone?

Nope! As far as I'm aware, I was named from one of those baby name books but my parents fucked up the spelling on purpose to be "special".

2. when was the last time you cried?

Probably just before Christmas when I was realizing just how fucked up my childhood and family dynamics are in a chat with a friend. Before that, in class while I was bombing a presentation. Before that, in class when the teacher told me to... raise my hand before I spoke... I don't really ever cry unless in public and it's always for a stupid reason.

3. do you have kids?

I have a lot of stuffed animals! And a bunch of kids I tutor. But none of my own, that's not in the plans.

4. what sports do you play/have you played?

My parents tried me in everything, but mostly tennis stuck. I'm not that good at it, I'm not really athletic in general and my forehand was busted to the point where I would only do lobs with it, but I was fairly okay, especially when it came to my backhand, so I got by. Haven't played in a few years though.

5. do you use sarcasm?

A lot more in real life than online.

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

One of the things I try to pay attention to is the hands. I also end up looking at teeth a lot. Both of those can kind of give you an idea of who a person is. I don't know if I'm good at eye contact or not, but I don't really think so?

7. what’s your eye color?

Hahahaha. It's kind of... everything? Not in a Mary Sue way but like, the outer ring is a greyish blue-green and the inner ring is like, a golden hazel-y green? And depending on the lighting or glasses, that changes? So... my ID says green.

8. scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies mostly annoy me, so happy endings. I don't like sad endings that much; I tend to dwell on them too long.

9. any talents?

Um, I used to be a mathlete when I was a kid? So I can do a lot of math in my head, generally exceeding the capabilities of most people I know, and usually with speed too. But that's not really a "talent". I guess I speak several languages, but again, not really a "talent". I don't really know. I don't really consider myself good at anything, you know? I write? Sometimes? But not well either. So.

10. where were you born?

Ridgewood, New Jersey. Apparently because my parents thought it would be a "good city to be born in" and that it would "always be on my birth certificate". I don't know the logic either.

11. what are your hobbies?

I really like mobile games! I'm currently obsessed with Path to Nowhere, used to play a lot of King's Raid before they destroyed that game with awful updates, and also play Pokemon Go and Pikmin Bloom regularly to motivate myself to leave the house. Also puzzles, both solving and sometimes creating my own! And I'm also slowly getting into the NFL as well as the NHL (obviously). My thing is that when I get into something, I need to know everything about it and be the "best" at it, which screws me up a lot, but. Knowledge!

12. do you have any pets?

I used to have fish when I was a kid. I'm not in the right conditions to own a pet, both logistically and mentally.

13. how tall are you?

I don't know exactly but I think around 5'5" to 5'6", or 165 to 167 cm. I always wanted to end up around 5'9", so 175 cm, but I didn't get enough tall genes, I guess :( still have markings on the wall about ideal height :')

14. favorite subject in school?

When I was growing up, math; more currently, probably law classes.

15. dream job?

I've always envisioned myself ending up in law or business or especially politics, but like, not as a scumbag? If that makes sense. Like, a senator or even higher than that, but not a corrupt piece of shit. Which I know is impossible and an oxymoron. So I guess the answer is, most generally, a leader of some sort.

I'd tag the GC but Eliot did that already sooooo um, if you're following me and see this consider yourself tagged!

[lyriumsings]

Besties and Lyrics for Octavia please, if you'd like! ~ @whowhatifs

Thank you for the ask!!

Besties: What’s their friendship with Rowan like? What are some things only he knows about them?

I think Octavia’s friendship with Rowan has actually changed a lot over the years. In the earlier days (pre Seven breakup lol) I think it was…shallower? For lack of a better term. Still very close and tight knit but very typical annoying sibling type dynamic. They very much saw Rowan as more of “Seven’s best guy friend”, as in Rowan felt slightly more like Seven’s friend than theirs sometimes. (Also this is just Octavia’s perception of their friendship I headcanon that Octavia is actually quite close with all of the band they just kind of underestimate how much people care about them to be honest.)

Now, after the breakup I think they got a lot closer. That’s when it kind of clicked for her how much Rowan (and everyone) valued their friendship. I would say Octavia got especially close to Rowan just because of how close they both were to Seven. And complains to Iris and Devyn felt like raining on their parade somehow?? They ended up having lots of serious talks about things they never had before and just really mourned that loss of friendship together. And not going to lie the idea of Octavia x Rowan as a full on romance given enough time would not be out of the question; BUT that being said I don’t think Octavia would ever be able to honestly say whether or not Rowan was a….second choice. If Octavia ever had to directly confront the fallout of that between them, Seven, and Rowan,,,,the guilt oof.

There is actually quite a few things that the band + Orion specifically know that Seven doesn’t know both because Octavia hadn’t told Seven yet when they were speaking and didn’t get to because they weren’t. But specifically Rowan? Rowan knows exactly what happened the night Octavia left their parents home for good (it was not good). And he knows more of the ins and outs of Octavia’s relationship with their last partner, Dean, who they dated on and off for about 8 months in the second year post Seven split. This was also very not good, without getting too into detail both involved “varying degrees” of domestic violence both physical and emotional.

Outside of like that lmao Rowan is actually the only other person outside of Seven allowed to look at their song book. He is the only person at all that’s seen their very, very messy lyrics about Seven post break up and some particularly sad ones about their mental health and their Aunt Lydia (who she was very close to and passed when they were a teen) Octavia is not really built to be alone, so after Seven it felt very natural that that void be filled on a friendship level. Obviously, nobody is replaceable but at the same time life goes on and people need people. Especially Octavia. They have a need for outside input and someone to bounce their thoughts off of and share their feelings to.

Lyrics: What are some songs you associate with your character? Any specific lyrics that really scream your character?

Since this is already so long lemme link their spotify playlist fksjdjd all of these songs are VERY Octavia and I headcanon them as canon songs for her and the band. But top five incase you don’t wanna listen to this mammoth of a playlist i keep adding to is:

1. Lonesome and Mad by Under the Rug

“I feel like I wanna go home but I am home.” On sooooo many levels.

2. Gilded Lily by Cults “Always the fool with the slowest heart”

3. Cigarettes and Feelings by The Haunt “i always fall for the things that will hurt me” Homegirl wouldn’t know a red flag if it announced itself and red is their favorite color anyway so baby what it do lmaoooo

4. Vices by Mothica honestly just the whole song tbh djsjd

5. Panic Attack by Liza Anne “I never learned to pull myself Out of my own damn head Shoulders caved in to protect All of my insides from falling out”

[bonesandthebees]

okay first of all i love the title anyways lets go!

i should potentially reread the prequel bjt yolo

title sic infit means so it begins thats neat i like it

im never going to shut up about the way you describe things like this is a dude resding a book but every word is written with such care that its so much more

ooh a ferronnière fancy i am googling so hard rn

the announcement from the snippets! i am very excited about this bit

i think that if wilbur isnt told about it that means it probably has something to do with him in some way. but i do think that even though he thinks phil would be told that he might mot have been its probably a pretty big thing i would think. if it was nothing wilbur would know i think so yeah i would assume that even if it doesnt directly pertain to wilbur that it will be something that will impact him

ah his choice on the heir? yes

i like the break you chose it fits

tnt duo!

i feel like its gonna be some curveball idk im like so skeptical that it would be that easy i also didnt read the summary oops anyways but ywah i feel like a secret third option gets named heir or something like tommy because you said we dont meet him this chapter but will next and yeah idk i dont ever expect things to go how people think they will

phil wasnt told

its definitely going to be a curveball

i dont think its the announcement they think it will be i truly think if it is related to the heir hes going to bring in a third option or just announce that a third option is the heir

something is happening tonight lets see it

how gay are ponk and sam on a scale of 7-10?

NEW VISITORS. TOMMY!

willum hehe

I WAS RIGHT (potentially)

i am so excited for this fic oh my god its going to be so good i can just tell

this pendant means so much its his family and his power and his status and its interesting

YOU HAVE PINTEREST BOARDS I WANT TO SEE THEM

OMG AND THE PLAYLIST FOR THIS FIC oooooooh i like the vibes

anyways im sooooo excited for this fic i think its going to be a fun one!

- 🪿

thank you!! the original title was just 'under the rose' but it felt off to me (partly bc I have a fic already titled under the brine and I thought it would be too similar) so I wanted to make it slightly different but still hold the same meaning. eli helped me brainstorm different words to add to it and then they suggested hanging and I was like ooo ok yeah we're gonna go with that, and I'm very happy with it now

the prequel is very fun if you want some more context + rainduo being cute kids

lol yeah figured sic infit was fitting as a first chapter title

tyyy I always struggle with finding my 'voice' in the first chapter of a new long form fic, because I need to figure out how I'm going to describe things and what word choice I'll lean towards so this chapter had a lot of me experimenting with different descriptions. i'm so glad you like them though!

ty ty I always have fun (read: struggle) with choosing the line breaks for my fics because I want them to hold at least some kind of meaning/connection to the story but also look nice. I experimented with a few unicode flowers and the order to put them in before I decided on the break I have now and I think it looks exactly how I wanted it

curveball :)))

sam and ponk are like a 9 because ponk isn't the king and even though sam keeps saying it's fine they know they gotta show some decorum in public

the pendant gets talked about more in the prequel, but yes it shows wilbur's status as being the son of the consil. it's representative of the role that has defined his entire life at the palace so it holds a lot of meaning to him

usually I have no problem sharing my pinterest boards for fics, but I actually don't have a public board for this one I just realized. the only board I have for it is a private one so it can be as messy and disorganized as I want and mostly just be used to hold references. I might make a public one though and if I do I'll share it with you all! for now though all you get is this one screenshot of part of it (yes there are so many screenshots from game of thrones on it because the costume design for that show is literally amazing)

the playlist is also a lot of fun I am trying so hard to find exactly the right vibes for it

thank you so much I'm so glad you're excited for this!! i'm so excited to share it with you all after so long :D

[foxymoxynoona]

this might just be my favourite chapter of flux yet 😅 its sooooo amazing to see just how far jk and sasha have come in their relationship that they are able to decipher exactly what the other is feeling based on their expressions alone. I also really like how jk takes everything sasha says so seriously, like specifically how she told him she wanted him to ask her if she's ok more, and in this recent chapter he did exactly that ( also huge props to sasha for being vulnerable enough to tell him that in the first place!!).

its been interesting to learn slowly about sasha's life growing up that the amount she shared with jk in this chapter was actually shocking. My heart truly goes out to her.

Also jk mentioned his family loves karaoke so i'm hoping he gets her to sing in front of them at some point, or they sing together in front of them i just think that would be so sweet lol.

It never fails that someone says this about the chapters I stress the most about, that's so funny and slowly helps me build confidence, so thank you!

They have definitely grown so much. And what I think is funny is that a book from now, two books from now, you'll probably look back and be like "wow they were still such babies???" Sometimes I read far into the future and find myself stunned by what grown ups they become and we aren't even there yet haha.

Sasha being able to articulate exactyl what she wants/needs is SO VALUABLE for them though because Jungkook is so good at doing what he's told! Which in Little Bean we saw in bed 😉 but here we saw beyond that too. He may not have innate knowledge but he has the earnest desire to do the right thing and that goes a long way!

We'll see about karaoke next chapter... 😎

[the-dying-star]

• My favorite line I have written so far? That's pretty difficult. I have to go with two;

"If you are a monster, then you are the most exquisite monster I have ever known."

And

"That's just a fancy word for slut."

Im leaving them both out of context here.

• I honestly can't think of anything right now. I typically enjoy the characters as they are.

• I have no comments yet. Lol sooooo none.

• I don't think I have any wild ones

° I write anywhere since I typically just write in my phone's notepad app for now. Although I prefer to be at home instead of work, but I'm not picky.

• I have a rough outline but I typically add the majority as I go.

• I'll share the Prologue to my WIP below the bullets.

• I have actually only read two fandoms of fanfics. TMNT and My Chemical Romance.

• I post at random

• Silence...lol

• Probably my current one honestly, If Not For Me, the one this Blog centers around.

• Myself honestly. If others like it. Cool.

• I was honestly bored and couldn't find any other fanfica to read. So I started writing my own .

• I love writing my OCs. But I enjoy TMNT 2k3 Donatello and 2K3 Raphael.

• Dude....Rise Donnie and Rise Leo and also 2K3 Leo...I feel like I write them terribly but I stopped caring lol. 2K3 Donnie is so much easier for me.

• I have only written TMNT fanfics so far. But they are also both crossovers with one of my fav book series.

• Often since I have to proof read a few times and I often reread chapters to see how they flow and if anything needs added or taken out.

• Nope.

• I would pick INFM but I have never thought of casting honestly.

• Sometimes art but mostly music!

• I do some research yes. With my current work I have deep dived into different demons and angels from mythology.

• If the scale is 1 for wildly original and 10 for canon compliant I like a aolid 2-3 lol

• Relationship. I pretty much only write romance. Can't help it. Sorry not sorry. Lol

• Yesss. I have. So honestly they are both easy and difficult. The difficulty comes in finding tactful ways to describe things. And dialogue. The easy part is knowing how they flow.

• I can write fluff. All day. Angst. Oof

• I like a happy ending. But also I live for a cliff hanger. Because it typically means a sequel lol

• Three.

• Nope

• I realllyyy have enjoyed Dark Underwold on fanfic . net. Her Morningstar trilogy and accompanying works inspired some of the imagery and mythology in my own fic. And I have been really enjoying All Roads Lead Home by @spirit-of-the-westao3 (shameless shoutout! Go read it)

• My older brother loved the 87 TMNT and got me into it. And then I was heavily into the 2k3 TMNT as a kid, like, would come home from school and would turn on Nick at the exact time I needed to watch it. I was hooked from there. And at least one of my friends loves them too so I had someone to geek out with.

• Nope lol

• Life lesson? Do it for yourself.

• long fics

• Not exactly.

• I have no advice... I'm in it right now. It sucks lol I'm sorry.

• Nah.

• I am spare parts...If trope means what I think it means then Romance. Lol

• Ohhhhhh man If Not For Me. 100% if you ever want to. Do it. Please. Bring it to life. Lol i need to see it how you see it.

• The Prologue to INFM •

𝕴𝖋 𝕹𝖔𝖙 𝕱𝖔𝖗 𝕸𝖊

𝕻𝖗𝖔𝖑𝖔𝖌𝖚𝖊

He didn't remember a time when he had felt this at peace. He didn't remember much of anything really.

Weird.

Everything was wonderful here.

Everything was perfect here.

He didn't need to remember.

𝘚𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨? 𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨? 𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦.

He stretched his arms up toward the sunshine and smiled at the steady warmth that he absorbed from it as he wandered the large expanse of tall glittering green grass. It felt good on his pebbly textured green skin.

𝘓𝘦𝘰 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦. 𝘛𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘮. 𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘍𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨.

Leo?

He stopped and furrowed his brow.

Who was Leo?

He shrugged again and continued walking. He walked the same path everyday now for.....

"Huh....I don't even know how long." He smiled serenely to himself as he crested a large hill and looked down at the field below.

It was covered in fluffy pink, magenta, coral and white flowers for as far as he could see really. He descended the hill and wandered through the field slowly. The green foliage under the heavy heads of the blooms brushed against his clothed legs.

His three fingered hands brushed against the soft petals as he passed by.

Every time he moved through them and disturbed them by touching the silky soft petals they released their intoxicating perfume into the air.

𝘗𝘦𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮. 𝘚𝘪𝘭𝘬𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘧𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘢𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘱𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘱𝘴. 𝘌𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵.

He laid down within the field of flowers and pulled a deep breath in through his nose. He wasn't sure why he came here every day. It felt...right....or familiar. Something like that.

𝘚𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘱 𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥. 𝘌𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘥, 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘧𝘶𝘳𝘺.

He shook his head. Barely able to dislodge the strange images that kept bombarding him.

He looked up at the brilliant blue sky and watched as giant fluffy white clouds floated by slowly. He watched the massive flower heads bob in a lazy breeze and he reached up to brush his fingers over them again. Hmmm

What were they called again?

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘬𝘺 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩. 𝘚𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨?

Poppies? Hmm no. That wasn't it.

𝘓𝘦𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘮 𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘧 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨.

Pansies? No no. Not it.

𝘏𝘪𝘮 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘓𝘦𝘰 𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦. 𝘈 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯, 𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘥. 𝘏𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘏𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘬𝘺. 𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨.

Petunias?.... Absolutely not.

𝘉𝘭𝘢𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴, 𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘶𝘴𝘬𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘥𝘳𝘺 𝘣𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘴. 𝘏𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘦s 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘪𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘴. 𝘏𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘱𝘦𝘳. 𝘏𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳. 𝘓𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘱𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘴. 𝘉𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘴. 𝘏𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨.

Primroses?...Still nope.

𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘮. 𝘏𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯. 𝘍𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘏𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴, 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥. 𝘊𝘩𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥. 𝘓𝘦𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘮. 𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨.

He furrowed his brow again and stared intently at one of the soft pink blooms. Something about them felt so familiar. So safe.

They felt like.

Home.

But where was home?

"𝘉𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘯𝘥." 𝘏𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥. "𝘉𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘪𝘵, 𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘮𝘪𝘵!"

"𝘕𝘰!"

"𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦...𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘦."

"P𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴! 𝘋𝘳𝘢𝘨ă, 𝘵𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘨. 𝘕𝘶 𝘱𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘳ă𝘪 𝘧ă𝘳ă 𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘦." 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘮. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘴. 𝘛𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦.

"𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯."

𝘗𝘦𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘯.

"𝘉𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘪𝘵."

He rubs at his temples as a steady searing pain blossoms there. Something warm trickles from his tympanum. He lifts his fingers to touch it, bringing them in front of his face. Something metallic and gold is there on his finger tips.

Home. Where is home?

"𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴." 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘢𝘱.

"𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶...𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘯...𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦." 𝘏𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺.

"𝘊𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦. 𝘊𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘴." 𝘏𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘦𝘬. 𝘏𝘦 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘴. 𝘏𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘨𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘦𝘵𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴. 𝘉𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘴.

"𝘏𝘰𝘮𝘦......𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭....𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦......𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦." 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘶𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘦����𝘯𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘸𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘮. 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺. 𝘏𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘍𝘭𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨.

He sat bolt upright as pain speared his temples again.

"Peonies!" He nearly screamed. The pain throbbed again and he had to grit his teeth.

"Peonies. Feel like home. You...are home. I said I would find you." The turtle wiped at the golden liquid that trickled from his nostrils and shifted to his knees. He squeezed his eyes shut.

He had to remember.

He had to remember everything.

He reached up to his neck where he had just noticed the light weight of something hanging there.

His fingers delicately brushed against the slim silver chain necklace and he wrapped them around it and tugged. The chain snapped off and he held it in his palm. He gazed at it and watched as it pulsed with a golden glow and morphed into the shinmering image of a silver and gold elongated eight pointed star, hovering over his open palm.

He had to remember. Remember home.

He grasped at the star and pulled it back towards him, pushing it into his plastron, right over his heart.

Remember.

His heart was hammering in his chest. Tattooing a rapid beat there.

Home.

Memories flickered over his closed eyelids. Pain kept a steady throb in his temples.

His brothers.

He had to grit his teeth as the pain turned to an agonizing burn.

His family.

He cried out in pain, doubling over, holding his hands against his head as if it were splitting in two and he had to hold the pieces together.

Luciana.

The pain suddenly stopped along with the flashing memories. He took in a deep, shaking breath and looked around. Thankfully he was alone.

Or so he thought.

Where was he?

"Oh fuck." He remembered now. He remembered everything. He was dead. Very dead. Super dead.

He lifted his hands to wipe the ichor off his face and on his-

He looked down and noticed he was wearing only a pair of white slacks and a white tunic.

"Shit. There's no fucking way. Not with all the crimes I committed. Assault. Assault with a deadly wrapon. Blackmail. Cyber crimes, Harboring a wanted criminal, Illegal possession of firearms, the list can keep going..." He was muttering to himself as he stood up and started walking out of the field.

"There's no way they'd let me in here. And I thought I was supposed to go wherever the Hamato clan is." He narrowed his eyes in contemplation as he crested the hill again and looked around.

Yup. There was no denying what he was seeing. Glittering white city. Sunshine. Feilds of flowers. Golden gates off in the distance.

"Fucking Heaven." He growled lowly, clenching his hands into fists at his sides.

He was in Heaven. And he definitely did not belong there.

• Thanks for reading if you made it this far I'm super nervous about posting this here hahaha 😅•

Fanfic Writer Ask Game

These are always fun so I wanted to make one! Reblog this and let others send you an ask based on any of these emojis/questions:

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

✨️ Out of the comments you’ve received on your fics, what are two or three of your favorites?

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

✍️ What’s your ideal writing setup?

🚀 Do you like to outline your fic first or create as you go?

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?

🏷 Is there a tag you like to search for when looking for fanfics to read?

⏰️ Do you like to post fics on a schedule or at random?

👓 What helps you focus when you write?

💕 What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

🐇 Do you write for yourself, for others, or both?

🥳 Why did you start writing fanfic?

🦋 Which character is your favorite to write?

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

🍬 Do you write for multiple fandoms? If yes, what is your favorite fic of yours for each fandom?

🌻 How often do you read your own fics?

📗 Do you want to write something outside of fanfiction? If so, what about?

🎬 If a movie or show were based on your fic, which fic would you choose and who would you fancast?

💭 What inspires you and your writing?

🧪 Do you research for your fics?

😎 What fics do you prefer on a scale of canon compliant to wildly original?

💎 Do you often write about a relationship or focus on an individual?

🔥 Have you included any sexy scenes in your fics? If yes, do you find them easy or difficult to write?

💘 Is it easier to write angst or fluff?

🚦What sort of endings do you prefer to write: ambiguous, bad, happily ever after, etc.?

💡How many WIPs do you currently have?

🔎 Does anyone beta read or edit your fics?

📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend?

🤩 What led to your interest in the fandom?

🤖 Are non-fandom friends aware that you write fanfic?

💛 What is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?

👑 Do you like writing short fics or long fics?

🎯 Do you have a writing milestone you’re working towards?

🔮 Any advice for writers working through burnout or writer’s block?

🤔 Would you ever want to write something canon if you got the opportunity?

💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write?

🎨 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?