#YOU RID HIM OF HID WHOLE JOURNEY!!!

[priestfrommidnightmass]

i’m rereading red white and royal blue again right now and first of all i am Flying through it i’ve been in a severe reading slump for like months and months and have read 150+ pages in one day and the only reason i stopped is because i went to see my friends but SECOND. reading the book is kinda making me realize how shitty the movie is like okay it’s not Shitty it’s just so different and they got rid of like so many of my favorite elements. third i’m never going to forgive the director for writing out june i genuinely am NEVER going to forgive for how much we missed out on

[actiniumwrites]

hiya! if your requests are still open could i request a scenario any of the “immortal” characters (e.x: the archons & adepti) with a mortal!reader who exchanges a part of them to become immortal so that they don’t have to worry about leaving the character? the reader’s gender is up to you!

𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐋 (𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄)

synopsis: in which you exchange your vision for immortality, determined to live an eternity with your lover

characters: venti, zhongli, scaramouche, and dainsleif x gn!reader

warnings: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, crying, mentions of death and mortality, fear of death, mentions of morbid conversations, scaramouche might be a little ooc here, purposefully inaccurate depictions of how celestia and visions work

notes: um so this request was sent to me back in november of 2022, so, anon, i am very sorry it took me so long to write this. i loved the idea a lot so i hope you enjoy this. also i’m not 100% sure scaramouche is immortal, but he’s been around for centuries and isn’t human so we’re just going to assume he is 👍

Venti:

The wind was blowing softly as you walked up to the giant tree, Vennessa’s Tree. You could hear the faint sounds of a lyre playing an alluring tune among it. If your boyfriend was anywhere, it was here…or the bar.

An off key note made your eyes snap up from where you were watching the ground, not expecting him to have heard you so easily.

“Hello, my love!” Venti cheered.

“Hi, Venti,” you lovingly spoke softly, moving to sit down next to him. Your head carefully moved to rest upon his shoulder and he continued to play softly, although this time around, it was a different song — one of your favorites.

A smile pulled at the sides of your lips. It was the first one since you’d gotten back from your journey. The very same journey your boyfriend was unaware of.

When he finished playing it, Venti set the lyre down next to him against a tree root. His face turned serious, “Something’s wrong.”

“Is there?” you played dumb, unsure of how to bring up the topic at hand. Venti didn’t fall for it. He never did.

He began to scan over your body for any sign of injuries, afraid something bad happened. When he saw there was nothing there, his hands gently placed themselves on the sides of your cheeks so he could rotate your head. He smiled the whole time, but you knew he was just masking his concern.

“I can feel it,” he said slowly, eyes squinting as he looked far off into the distance, “something’s different.”

You tried to hold it back, but tears sprung to your eyes. There was no hiding it now, “Venti, I…”

“Hey, hey, hey,” he hurriedly wiped your tears as you looked up at him, “it’s okay, I swear! You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s just,” you sniffled. The tears weren’t from injuries or hurt feelings, but simply because you were overwhelmed. The entirety of your future was now uncertain aside from the fact that you could no longer face death. You had centuries ahead of you, and it wasn’t something you had before, “my vision. I traded it.”

“What? Why would you…” he mumbled, mind racing back and forth. You loved your vision. It was something you had worked so hard for as a child, a representation of your dedication. It wasn’t like you needed money or anything, so why would you get rid of it?

Through your tear filled eyes, you smiled, “You don’t have to worry anymore, Ven. All those years ahead, we can spend them together.”

“You…you’re…?” he breathed out heavily, realization hitting him all at once. A smile broke through his lips, happy tears of his own were beginning to form, “you did that for me?”

You nodded and he threw himself against you, embracing you tightly. In all the years he had been alive, Venti was sure he would be alone forever. But in life and death, you were with him forever.

Zhongli:

Zhongli hadn’t noticed right away.

He was perceptive, yes, but there didn’t seem to be anything amiss with you at first. You often hid things very well. It was one of the only things he didn’t like about you. If something were to go wrong because he wasn’t observant enough with you, Zhongli would feel perpetually guilty.

It wasn’t until weeks after your journey that he had finally realized something had changed.

You seemed normal for the past few weeks. There were a few moments where you were oddly fidgety or anxious, but he chalked it up to the fact that you had just gotten back from a work trip. Perhaps you were tired out from it. Plenty of people came back a little on edge from trips, he had seen it first hand.

When it became continuous, worries began to whisper in his ear. No, he hadn’t thought you cheated or did something bad. Zhongli knew you well enough to know you weren’t that kind of person. If anything, he was worried that something bad had happened to you. That maybe someone hurt you or there was something you couldn’t tell him.

So, he brought it up at dinner one day.

His hand reached across the table, warmly cupping it around yours. His thumb gently traced over the back of it, a soothing action he knew you loved. He inhaled and pursed his lips before bluntly asking, “Did someone hurt you? Because if they did, I want you to know you can tell me and I will take care of it.”

Your face morphed into confusion, awkwardly laughing at his wild assumptions, “I’m sorry, what? Where’d you get that idea?”

Zhongli retracted his hand from yours slowly. His face was now equally as confused as yours, “I apologize, my love. You have been acting rather off since your trip. I thought maybe something bad had happened or someone may have hurt you. Am I incorrect?”

Another awkward laugh fell from your lips before you sighed and averted your eyes to look out the window of the restaurant, “Yes, but nothing bad happened. I’ve just been a little…down about something.”

He furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head a bit to the side, “If you were feeling upset, you could have come to me. You know I hate to see you like that.”

“I know, I just,” you started hesitantly, “I wasn’t ready to tell you yet.”

“Tell me…what?”

The whirlwind of emotions you had been feeling over the past few weeks began to hit you harshly and you couldn’t stop the tears from forming in your eyes, “I traded my vision, Zhongli.”

He took a few seconds to process, but his hand grabbed yours again. He wasn’t sure what you were talking about, but the fact that you were crying was enough to scare him, “I…I am afraid I do not understand.”

“I made a deal with Celestia…to be come immortal. In exchange for immortality, they took my vision,” you explained slowly, staring down at the table.

Zhongli rose from his seat slowly before walking to your side of the table. He kneeled down beside you, a few tears springing at his own eyes as he looked directly into yours, “Why would you do that?”

“For you,” you breathed out happily, cupping his face as the tears fell from your eyes “I want to be with you forever, Zhongli.”

Zhongli rose a bit from his place on the floor. Cupping your face with his hands, he kissed you softly, yet eagerly. You could feel the love and passion with in it. All the sadness melted away in an instant.

He had witnessed so many of his friends and past lovers parish before him. Victims to time and mortality. But here you were, willing to sacrifice something you cared for so much to spend an eternity with him.

And in that moment, Zhongli realized he’s never loved someone as much as he’s loved you.

Scaramouche:

You were used to Scaramouche pushing you away when things got rough. Not because he was angry with you or tired of you, but because his emotions were too much to handle. The sadness was too much to bear.

The conversation of immortality had come up very often. A worry of his that he just couldn’t seem to shake.

What would happen when you were gone?

How was he supposed to move on?

Love someone else?

If Scaramouche was being honest, he knew there was no way he could love another. Not after you, the one person he’s ever truly loved and the only one he hasn’t lost. You understood and cared for him in a way that no one else ever had or ever could. Despite not having a real heart, his love for you was so strong enough to make him feel like he did.

When you left for some sort of trip, Scaramouche hadn’t been suspicious of anything. You claimed it was for your job — just a week long trip out of Sumeru to take care of some business. It seemed urgent, according to you at least. He understood and didn’t question any part of your story, even if it did have holes in it.

Although he didn’t show it outwardly, the week without you was rather miserable for him. Anytime you were gone, everything seemed to remind him of the centuries that he had been alone. The people he had watched die or turn on him and how weak he felt. It made him wonder, once again, how he could ever live without you.

When you returned days later, it was late at night. The lights to your shared home were turned off and everything was silent. You dropped your things inside, but before you could head to your room, you caught a glimpse of your boyfriend through the window. His hat was cast aside on the grass next to him where he was lying down. The wind was blowing his hair softly across his face as he gazed up at the stars, something you frequently did together.

Coincidentally, it was during those times that the topic of immortality would come up. The stars made Scaramouche sad when he peered up at them. Despite not believing in their genuine existence, he would hate to look up one day and find you among them. Far away from him. Mortality permanently holding you in its grasp.

You silently walked outside to where he was lying down, careful not to disturb him. You laid down next to him, gently taking his hand in yours. His fingers interlocked themselves with yours, but he didn’t bother to turn and look at you, already knowing who it was. When you looked to him, however, his eyes were glistening with small tears, the stars reflecting in them. He looked ethereal, but you hated how sad he looked — eyebrows furrowed, a frown pulling his lips downward.

“I’m not ready for you to leave,” he whispered painfully, voice cracking a bit as his eyes finally met yours.

You send him a fond smile, eyebrows turning upwards, “I’m not leaving anytime soon. You don’t have to worry.”

“But you will,” he started, a hint of anger laced his voice, directed at those who dared to take away the one thing he loved, “You’ll leave eventually. Just like everyone I’ve ever known. It’s only a matter of time.”

You sat up slowly, reaching into the pocket of your pants and grabbing something out. A flash of metal caught Scaramouche’s eye. He sat up instantly, recognizing what the mysterious object was.

It was your vision. The bright shining blue light it normally had was entirely gone, drained of power. Wordlessly, you handed it to him. He grabbed it, but looked up into your eyes with confusion. When he did, he finally noticed the exhaustion and dried tears all over your face.

“What is this?” He angrily inspected the grayed vision in his hands, “What happened to you? If someone hurt you, I swear to you, I’m going to kill them.”

“No!” you quickly exclaimed, interrupting his oncoming burst of anger, “No one hurt me. I did this myself.”

“Start explaining,” he demanded. Although he looked angry, you could see the worry and fear in his eyes.

“I’m tired of these conversations,” you hesitantly started, averting your eyes to a tree in the distance. You could feel your own sad frown pulling at your lips as you fidgeted with the vision he had returned to you. Inhaling, you continued, “If I’m being honest, I’m not okay with leaving you either. It tears me apart to see you like this, Scaramouche. It sounds selfish, but I…I don’t want to think of your life without me. Not when it’s already hurting you this much and I’m not even dead yet.”

You paused to wipe the tears that had unknowingly began to fall from your eyes. Gesturing to the vision, you explained, “The trip I went on wasn’t for work, and I’m sorry for lying to you about it. It was to make an exchange. By trading this with Celestia, I’m no longer mortal.”

Scaramouche’s eyes flickered back and forth between yours and the lifeless vision rested in your hands. A mix of anger, sadness, and relief hit him all at once. Years of memories flashed in his head from all the mistreatment in Inazuma, the Harbingers, and to his newfound life in Sumeru. But most importantly, he saw you and all the ways you’ve loved him ever since you found each other. His voice wobbled a bit, dancing between the lines of neutrality and sadness, “Why would you do that for me?”

You tossed the vision to the side and held his hand again, “My vision may have meant a lot to me, but nothing will ever mean as much to me as you do. I would trade everything I’ve ever owned to be with you forever if that’s how it had to be.”

The two of you laid back down together against the cool grass, staring back up at the stars. This time, however, his arms embraced you tightly. The stars seemed to shine a little more brightly, a little more beautifully. There was no chance for them to take you away from him anymore, and Scaramouche was forever grateful for that.

Dainsleif:

The burden of immortality sat heavily on Dainsleif’s shoulders. It was a curse he bore, but not one he would wish onto anyone else. It was painful, unkind, and often struck those who deserved it the least.

When you had found him, you were not originally aware of the fact that he had been among those who were affected by it. You knew he originated from Khaenri’ah, but you supposed he was like your old friend Kaeya, who was also from there, but was not a bearer of the curse.

Admittedly, it was difficult to be in relationship with Dainsleif at times because of it. He trusted you wholeheartedly, but there was always this lingering sense of doom in his eyes. There were times when he would get close with you, share his past and his deepest desires, but then he would pull away. It was a constant game of back and forth with him.

You were aware it was because he was scared, terrified even. Dainsleif had lived a long life of loss and sadness. He had failed in his duties as the Twilight Sword and, because of that, he was forced to witness the death and destruction of everyone and everything he loved around him. Anyone he had ever loved he had lost, and he couldn’t stand to watch that happen to you too.

You couldn’t bear it equally as much. Dainsleif was the best person to ever have come into your life. Someone you knew could never hurt you. Someone who showed you more love than anyone else ever had. Your love for each other was like no other. The only thing that could truly separate you from him would be death, and he would love you until that day came.

As painfully beautiful as that was, it saddened you to a degree that nothing else could. You did not want to lose him as much as he did not want to lose you. And so, you decided to lessen his punishment. Immortality was supposed to curse him with loneliness and suffering, but that loneliness wouldn’t exist if you were by his side for the rest of time.

You left as soon as possible, vision stored away in your satchel and a notebook in hand. It was your notebook that held your recipes. As a chef, there were all sorts of ingredients across Teyvat that you had to often import or travel to obtain. It was the perfect excuse to leave without him raising suspicion. Because, although Dainlsleif detested the Gods and Celestia, he would never let you do what you were about to do. Not for him, and not for anyone else. Not even for yourself.

It took you about a week to return.

Dainsleif noticed instantly something was different when you returned. It was a little past midnight. He was sitting at the table of your home, window open to his left to let the cool breeze sift through the house. He had been scribbling away at a map when the door walked open, and in walked you.

There were dark circles around your eyes, a conflicting look swirling within them. Part of you looked relieved, while the other part looked saddened. His eyebrows furrowed as you stumbled in through the doorway, whispering a small greeting to him. Quickly, he was by your side and hugging you dearly.

“Are you okay?” he asked worriedly, voice just barely above a whisper. You leaned against him, head tucked gently into his shoulder as you wrapped your arms around his abdomen. Silently, you nodded.

Dainsleif carefully brought you to the couch in the living room, sitting you down gently and setting your belongings on the small table in front of you. The breeze from the window drafted through again, strong enough to make you shiver. In an instant, Dainsleif was up and moving to shut it quickly so you could be warm and comfortable.

“Something’s wrong,” he started, hand moving to cup your face as you gazed into his eyes tiredly, “I know you aren’t just tired. So please, tell me what happened on your trip.”

You crumbled in an instant, unable to lie to his face, “I traded my vision. I’m sorry, I wasn’t actually going to get ingredients.”

Confusion settled even deeper into his blood as he stared at you, unable to comprehend what you were talking about, “Trade your vision for…what? Why would you need to trade your…oh.”

When he realized, you nodded carefully. The silence that followed suit scared you. You often had a hard time reading him, especially now.

His next reaction shocked you, however. Tiny traces of tears sprung to his eyes, threatening to pour over at any second. Your eyebrows furrowed, but before you could say anything, Dainsleif quickly leaned in and kissed you. Your eyes closed and you returned it, feeling the sadness, desperation, and love behind it. When he pulled away, you could see two or three tears had fallen from his eyes.

Gently, you wiped them away and hugged him tightly. He held you tightly in return, and silently, you both laid back against the couch. Exhaustion hit the two of you at once, knocking you out as you slept within each other’s arms. You had been exhausted from your trip and all the emotions you had felt from it. As for Dainsleif, his exhaustion from being cursed had eased up a bit on him. It him all at once, the realization and the lack of loneliness or worries he would have to deal with from now on. There was no more till death due you part, because finally, Dainsleif had you for forever and you had him.

[cyberpunk-20xx]

On Johnny’s trans journey

cw for internalized and externalized transphobia, lesbophobia, alcohilism mentions, canon-compliant violence

Yeah so one day (this is my hc in my CP15 AU where Johnny doesn’t get to stay with the Aldecaldos the whole time between summer 2013 and the 2020s and instead goes back to Kerry NC, thus leading to a Reunion Tour that gets Victor hired by Samurai’s label), there's yet another quidproquo between Victor and him.

In a panic, he suckerpunches Victor rasping "I'm not a fucking tranny [unsaid: like you]"

And something clicks inside Victor's head (probably their chrome thinly-veiled skull rebuffing against the impact) and everything falls to place. As comprehension sets in, their response is instantaneous:

"Well fuck, damn you stupid bitch, I didn't say you were, but now I know you are!!"

And they look at him in disbelief like he's pulled the biggest bit they've ever witnessed, there's a blank where Johnny is pale as a fucking sheet, looking like a ghost that got killed twice more, starting to hyperventilate as he stares at them, and they righten themselves, rubbing and cracking their jaw back into place (that's also when Johnny understand how borged out they secretly are), and they look at him, eyebrows rising, and whistles out,

"Fuck, that explains so much."

—

Johnny once fell upon an entire fortune. Literally. While raiding an abandoned house the enemy forces had been hiding out at, the poor kid had collapsed right onto some corpse of a guy still clinging to a wad of cash. Johnny did what any shellshocked underage impulsive teen soldier would have.

He pocketed the money and hid it, the stress and fear of being caught with it making him sick. He had to get rid of it and quick. And he couldn’t waste it.

He’d gotten the whole premium package: he’d already had a medium shit quality T implant, so he got a mammectomy he paid a fortune for, a scrotum and penis transplant, and a few months later, he got back to the clinic using the rest of the cash plus the little military credit and health care he had for cosmetic surgery that erased his chest scars, rendering him unidentifiable as trans to the naked, cis gaze.

Robert Linder died for good with Johnathan Nauman, and he was a pre-op trans man hopeful for a future that had more colours to it than just reds and blacks and maroons.

—

Only Kerry and Denny knew. Kerry only did because he was himself a semi-closeted trans man. And Johnny acted with such disgust toward the subject anytime he’d brought it up, unless it was about himself and then suddenly it was fucking magically fine (it made Kerry feel special, so he did not question it- if only he’d know just how special he actually was, so special to Johnny that Johnny had to resort to violence to deny himself another chance at loving a man the way he wished he could-) and Kerry’d always just assumed it was just yet another Raised in The Bible Belt thing.

He’d not been entirely wrong.

Denny on the other hand, knew about it because one day, she’d been the only one semi-sober– to this day she does not understand how nor why it had to be her of all people to learn this about their cryptical, aggressive frontman.

He’d been curled up in a corner and mumbling to himself, which wasn’t unusual but rare, but he was also sobbing and clutching his head. 

That, was not normal. It was fucking bizarre actually, and she felt even more mortified see this much from him than she’d been the first time she’d gifted a bouquet to a girl she liked (her name was Natasha, she had long auburn hair and a face like a gentle doll, lips pink like fruit) who’d then looked at her up and down and spat,

“I’m not a fucking lesbo.” 

As if just the thought had soiled her.

Well somehow that was worse.

And yet she’d approached him, and kneeled beside him.

Now, everyone in Samurai knew about Johnny’s horrid war-induced C-PTSD, and the first rule of thumb about Johnny’s horrid war-induced C-PTSD: You don’t talk about Johnny’s horrid war-induced C-PTSD.

If it needs to be brought up, Johnny is more than capable enough doing it himself and then by gods he’ll only stop when he’s done talking about it.

Many-a-one jaws and noses and ribs and walls and chairs and tables and car windows had beared the testimony of what happened if you broke that rule.

So they didn’t talk about it.

Then the 2013 raid happened. And it somehow got worse.

But let’s not get sidetracked.

Denny had sat next to Johnny, and a decade later she wonders if she wasn’t on some acid trip after all, when he’d not only not slapped her hand off of him, but collapsed against her chest, in the most uninterested way, and wailed just a tad louder, a tad clearer, about some guy he’d stolen everything from, the man who’d taken a bullet from him, and how he was a fraud and one day they would all find out, how he could only keep lying to himself for so long, he’d always just be the delusional bitch his older brothers said he was.

She had not even thought it was possible for Johnny Silverhand to have brothers, much less plural, much less ones that would have abused him and won.

More things were said. Garbled and disjointed, but Denny knew how to speak tongues with men who’d been swallowed by the bottle.

Oh, everyone assumed she was so patient with Henry because she was naive and stupid, but what they didn’t want to understand is that she just knew better. She knew that beneath the violence and the smell of chemicals lied terrified boys who’d grown into broken men, begging for anyone to just understand.

Her father had been such a kind man before the incident.

And so, she’d learned a secret Johnny hadn’t told anybody else, not even Kerry, and that was when she knew.

It was bad. She could never fucking mention it to anyone.

But Denny was used to taboos, and one more didn’t shake her. She just kept on drumming, taking out her rage at the world for burdening her with the pain of everyone around her by beating the shit out of her drumset and making bank off it.

She just knew some things were better left unsaid. Sleeping dogs lying and all that, y’know?

—

And then Victor had to go and fucking ruin it, making Johnny have to come out and say it.

And Johnny’s fists could barely scuff their face, it only broke the skin and bled but nothing underneath got any real damage, so, seemed they were all fucked.

They were gonna have to talk about it. Or at least put words on it, thinking about it, now.

Johnny hated them even more for that.

(That must be why he slept at their place, in their bed, for the next few weeks following.

Sometimes, Kerry would stay over so they could work on their songs, Victor keeping themselves busy with what the fuck ever it was that their imp ass did during their free time, and he’d sleep into bed behind him, or as the little spoon when Johnny felt small like humouring him.

Victor would stay on the same side of the bed and latch onto him one way or another, kissing his scalp softly, and he’d fall asleep, and if he were lucky, he dreamed of cocoa butter scented hair tickling his face, strong lanky dark skinned arms around his frames, two sets of dogtags clinking together softly under the rustles of the sheet.

Sometimes there would be blonde hair falling in a halo around a pale figure, but most of those dreams ended up as nightmares, so that’s not what we’re talking about if we’re talking about the times Johnny got lucky dreaming.

And when he’d wake up, there would be no blood. No screams. 

Just Victor’s stupid little hanging charms chiming softly as the AC droned on.

Just Kerry’s snoring against his neck.

Just peace.)

[stesierra]

Find the Word tag! @isabellebissonrouthier tagged me!

My Words: Feather, Scar, Tooth, Ribbon, Gold. I'm drawing from Cast Out!

I'm going to tag @babybirdi @fishythewriter and @grimfox. Your words are jump, tatter, swim, ravage and clap.

Feather

Lira turned her head. Her lips shaped, "What is that sound?"

"What?" I scanned the desert around us. Thesil, behind us, was staring south. I followed her gaze and caught a flicker of movement in the distance.

It came closer and closer, moving slowly and awkwardly through the air, like a child's paper-boat floating in a mud-puddle. It flew low over the desert, a long white neck outstretched, rusty wings wobbling like it was about to fall out of the sky.

Thesil spun towards me, her hands already moving. "It's your stupid goose!"

I stared at the speck for a long moment. Then I ran.

I ran towards her, shouting, waving my hands, calling her name, anything to get her attention. Anything to bring her down to me. If she flew by overhead, just out of my reach...

I couldn't bear it.

She turned, a slow loop above the small trees, and veered towards me. My chest burned, but I kept running until she crashed to a landing in a thorn bush. She freed herself before I could reach her and waddled the last few feet to peck at my pants.

I fell to my knees and hugged her, inhaling the smell of her powdery feathers. Her beak preened my hair. I held her to me and rocked, her large webbed feet pressing against my thighs, and I missed Thesil's approach completely.

Scar

Amaz signed, "You see, sweet deaf child, I, too, was cast out. I had closed my eyes to true revelations and the voices of the Great Unknowns. I was too proud of my beauty. And so the Great Unknowns punished me, and my limbs failed me on my fifteenth birthday."

I frowned at him. Mother told me sickness – and difference in general – was not a punishment. It only was.

"I began my pilgrimage on my sixteenth birthday. At the end of my journey, my eyes were opened to the Great Unknowns. I offered them my nose. My beauty. In return, they cured me."

I stared at the knotted scar in the center of his face. He had cut off his own nose?

His hands were still moving. "When I became perfecta again, I chose to remain in exile. My prayer is to guide others to the same revelations. And cure."

Amaz bent to put himself eye to eye with me. I wanted to back away. His honey-sweet breath reminded me of my painfully empty belly. I'd been too sick from grief to choke down first-meal that morning.

He signed, "Will you let me help you, sweet child?"

Tooth

I wished I could see their expressions, but the masks hid all but their eyes. "Why were you thrown out of the cities?"

Both of them looked at me as though I were mad. Tamorin gestured to their joined heads.

"But that's not a sign of death-palsy."

"I'd be much more worried about our health if it was," Tamorin said.

"We don't fit the city's image," Gadara signed. "It's no more complicated than that."

"But you shouldn't be imperfectas! The whole point of Holy Efra's dictates–"

"We know," Tamorin said.

I finished my sentence in my mind. Her dictates were to isolate those whose defects might carry the disease. Not to get rid of people who were different. It was as wrong as Thesil's exile, and I felt slow-burning outrage building in my core.

Across the camp, Grandmother waved at us, her other hand full of reins. The donkeys were ready.

I nodded to her and signed to the siblings, "Thank you for telling me. I'd like to talk with you more later. If that's all right?"

Gadara signed, "Go ahead. Pick his brain. Everyone wants to. Do you plan to be a healer, too?"

I blinked. "I'm a painter. I couldn't heal a sore tooth."

"Then you had better not get sick," said Gadara.

Tamorin elbowed her under their cloak. "Don't worry. We have nothing against paint."

"I'm glad," I signed, and ran to take the donkeys from Grandmother.

Ribbon

I couldn't find this one.

Gold

Abursa motioned me closer and handed me my slate. "This automa is ours. It's a model of what we do. Our signpost. We display it when the perfectas come to camp."

I wrote back, "A model of what?"

"We fix automa for the cities. Once we get them working, we slap on a layer of cheap color, then cover it in varnish. But with a real painter, we could charge more. We could get more custom." She cast me a significant look.

My heart lifted. Even if what they wanted was more functional than art, I might have a future working with paint after all. "And you want me to decorate them?"

She nodded as she scribbled, "To paint them, and help with repairs like anybody else. The core that powers the automas, it's a mix of magic ores. One of them ought to be familiar to you."

I had already smelled it. "Oracle ore. The revelations."

"The automas don't need it to run. It's just mixed in to give them Efra's blessing. If you've rarely taken revelations, there's enough in the core to make you dizzy and dreaming. But the other ores can kill you, especially over a long period of time. We take turns handling the cores. First I test everyone to see if they're going to fall down giggling."

I took a small step back from the automa. "You want me to try? And what about Thesil?"

"You, yes. I wouldn't trust her not to drop it. These are worth more than she is."

As I read her last message, she leaned up and hauled on the chest of the automa. I lowered the slate necklace, intending to help her, but she waved me away. Her ass flicked its ears, apparently used to this sort of thing. I hung the amulet back over my neck.

The panel of wood sprang free suddenly, as some unseen latch gave. An edge of it clipped Abursa's legs. The gaping hole it left glowed with dim yellow light.

The humanoid shell was hollow as a vase, and at its center, suspended in a web of chains and wires, hung a fist-sized heart. The mixture of ores shone faintly gold, with only a hint of oracle green. Someone had carved it in the shapes of ventricles and atria.

I stepped forward, worried the troupe-leader was hurt, and walked straight into dreams.

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[autumnhares]

I agreed to buddy read A Court of Mist and Fury with a friend. She really wanted to talk it over with someone.

I'll say that by the end of this book, I think I have a better grasp of what Romantasy is. Maybe. Hopefully.

The writing was much better, I'd say for the first two Acts at least. The third Act I'll get back to a little later.

I'd heard talk of what happened with Tamlin and Feyre, and it's always talked about how he was horrible and all that, and I'm not going it deny it, he did horrible things, but Feyre was written as just having given up. They didn't talk about anything, they just hid from each other. The difference in their journey is that Rhysand helps her, not him. He doesn't warn Tamlin about Ianthe, just let's her worm her way into his court and whisper in Feyre's ear. Anyway, that was just a small thing that struck me as unfair.

Tamlin's arc was overall weird, and hard to buy into. They just got rid of one sadistic asshole, why would he think that was the best thing to do for Feyre was to open the door for another?

The story about what happened to Rhysand and Tamlin's families was just wild. Why would High Lords engage in such risky behaviour? It just made no sense! And where was the Spring Court getting their information from about the movement of the lady and daughter of the Nightmare Court? How did they get into the Nightmare Courts lands undetected? How did Rhysand and his father find out what happened to the sister and mother? Why would the Spring Court go ahead with their plan when their target wasn't even there? Why did the Spring Lord and his sons do it and not expect retribution? How did the Nightmare Court find out who had done it? How did they get into the Spring Court undetected.

I mean seriously. The author has a conceit in this story that Asriel and his spies can't get into the Human Queen's castles. How am I supposed to buy that assassinating a High Lords and their families is easier than that?

Romantasy. So, the third Act is largely about Feyre and Rhysand accepting their matehood and banging it out. It's about in the spot of a book where the climax and resolution happen, so this is the whole point of the book.

After that is a quick interlude with the Hybern plot. Again, because of how impossible it was to get into the Queen's Palaces, it was obvious this whole thing was a trap because of how easy it was to get to the cauldron. The reveals of everything Tamlin had been doing, as well as the Queen's being bought and paid for were weird, as already mentioned, and this is also where First person really shows it's limitations.

I'm not a fan of first person. It's limiting to a story teller, especially when you have surprise reveals that the POV knows about. But mostly it struggled because of what was happening to characters that were not Feyre. All of a sudden it was like she was privy to the inner thoughts and feelings and intentions of everyone around her. It was jarring.

Lucien, neutered during this book, is mates with Elaine! There's something Feyre had to hold over him in the future.

Also, Nesta rocks, I don't care about the haters. I've always found it weird that people condemned her for not stopping Feyre from hunting. Nesta was only two years older (that poor mother), and Elaine being useless is never held against her. Would Feyre have stopped if Nesta told her to? I get the impression she wanted her father to wake up because of the danger the youngest was in. If you're going to hate on anyone for failing Feyre, hate on her father. What a useless creature.

[deathsquiggles]

see below!

the basic outline of the last major plot fic in the series:

main conflicts:

schlatt’s back

-he taught the witches to use nether portals

-the witches figured out they could trade fire res to piglins for ender pearls and soul sand

-the witches turned on schlatt

-schlatt fled and hid out until he was forced out of hiding by the witches occupying the village where he was sheltering

-schlatt returned to lmanberg to seek asylum in exchange for info about how to bring down the witches

techno’s back

-he wants all of the strongest fighters together so he can spawn a wither, slay it, and use the remains to construct a beacon to call phil back

-he asks The Strongest to aid him but dream doesn’t fight anymore; techno calls this cowardice and opts to spawn the wither anyway

-between techno, punz, sapnap, and purpled (guest brought [paid] by techno) they’re able to kill the wither without dream needing to intervene (dream has a panic attack anyway)

-techno makes the beacon, leading to…

phil’s return

-he swoops in from above and reunites with his family. 33% are happy to see him. philza nearly kills schlatt after being told who he is, but wilbur calls him off

-wilbur is  f u r i o u s  with phil and tommy isn’t too thrilled either. SBI angst is rapidly made into everyone else’s problem because this family is messy af

phil took techno and slayed the dragon; dragon cultists have been after him and techno ever since

WARDEN

-why is it up here?

-phil stole its heart

-why did he steal it?

-it’s a key to the end

-he killed the dragon and found out afterward that was a Bad Choice

-phil is now being forced to choose between letting the end die and letting his children die (to the warden still pillaging their shit)

end is sealed; no way in without the keys

where do you get the keys?

warden.

-how do you actually resurrect the dragon?

-the cultists know!

-get rid of the warden, in come the cultists

-luckily ranboo has Heritage with them and can calm them down enough to get info

-they get the recipe and need ghast tears

-gotta go to the nether to get those

-get ghast tears

-make crystals

-badabing

-badaboom

big beats;

-townies go to l’manberg for the festival, establish new faces

-festival begins, fluff time, everyone is chilling

-schlatt shows up, makes his bargain, is put under house arrest for the time being

-techno rolls in, seeks the strongest, dream internal conflict dot jpg

-techno spawns the wither anyway and they slay it

-techno builds the beacon right away

-philza swoops in pursued by warden

-the grace period while it catches up is brief but horribly tense

-everyone fights the warden

-it’s no use! they trap it in the sewers but it’s only a matter of time before it busts out

-phil is convinced to return the warden’s heart in exchange for a promise from [PERSPECTIVE BOY] that they’ll find another way into the end

-with its heart returned they continue attacking the warden and it eventually dies, but not before doing a Lot of property damage

schlatt puts himself in extreme danger to save tubbo at one point

dream puts himself in extreme danger to save tommy at one point

-the warden dropped a key!!

-whole thing with cultists and ranboo (please for the love of god remember to foreshadow this)

-gotta go to the nether to get ghast tears to make crystals to revive the dragon; gotta kill witches to get into the nether; schlatt warns they discovered fire charges; R&D commences on the lichen; fireproofing unlocked; go kill the coven and end the witch threat

-townies are like Well That’s Really None Of My Business wrt going to the end to revive an entire fucking dragon, so they leave the sleepy bois to it and go home

-george on the journey back is like “hey. do you remember how tubbo and ranboo were married. that was kinda cool. thoughts?” and leave that whole situation ambiguous for the next entry

then i never actually did anything else for the next entry, but it was going to be a cute little proposal/marriage fic to wrap the series

the actual writing i did for that fic (there isn't a ton of it.)

The city’s jagged towers pierce the sky long before its oppressive obsidian walls rise up to choke the surrounding land. For miles in every direction, the trees and forest have all been long since clear-cut and the ground flattened into harsh swathes of farmland congested with great lumbering machines to tend the anemic crops. Festive balloons further crowd the artificial horizon, their obtrusive lanterns catching what little sunlight breaks between the buildings and scattering blinding reflections randomly upon the ground below.

Their procession pulls to a stop several yards from the ornate interlocking gate leading into town. Speakers on either side crackle and shriek with static, then blare a blessedly brief segment of the anthem. Quiet falls- though, quiet is hardly an apt description with the dull road of industry pressing in on all sides.

The speakers crackle and hiss again, then a tinny voice filters through.

“Who goes there?”

“It’s us, Wilbur. We’re here for the festival.”

“Identify the members of your envoy.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes.”

“Why? You knew we were coming.”

“It’s our policy to record the identities of anyone entering the country. We’ve had issues with the wrong sort infiltrating us before, so I’m sure you understand why we must exercise abundant caution.”

“Oh my god. Fine. Okay. Uh…” Dream glances back at his group and starts listing off on his fingers.

[he lists everyone]

“Hmm… Alright, fine. I suppose I can let you in. But don’t cause any trouble!”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Dream mutters.

a karlnap side fic i started working on

“I’m happy for them, though,” Karl says, draping himself over Sapnap’s shoulders.

Sapnap suppresses his reflex to stiffen up, instead placing his hands over Karl’s on his chest. “What do you mean?”

“Y’know. They finally figured their shit out.”

“Like… How?”

Karl pulls back a few inches to shoot Sapnap an incredulous look. “You know what I’m talking about.”

“I really don’t.”

“Oh my god,” Karl giggles. “Smart, handsome, and funny? Wombo combo? Unless you’re somehow being serious- then I’m striking ‘smart’ from the record.”

“Dude, I don’t- they’re not-”

“Nah. No shot. My man has not missed his two best friends literally boning each other-”

“Karl!” Sapnap spins in Karl’s grasp and throws a hand over his mouth, glancing sharply around. “Dude, if someone hears you I’m fucked- agh!”

Sapnap yanks his hand away and wipes Karl’s saliva off on his jacket. “Seriously?”

“I licked you,” Karl declares. “That means you’re mine.”

“Wh- dude.”

“Wanna know how I figured it out?”

Sapnap blinks, fighting whiplash over the rapid topic change. “Uh- sure? I guess?”

Karl grins and threads his fingers through Sapnap’s. “Here- come on, I can show you!”

Just like that, he’s running down the main road hand in hand with Karl, and thanking Prime above that this behavior is in no way out of place for Karl, or their secret would be blown pretty fucking wide open. But no one spares them a second glance, and before long, Karl drags Sapnap into the Brew House and disconnects from him to start digging through the drawers.

He spins and holds up a stack of paper triumphantly. Sapnap squints at it.

“…Fundy’s potion guide?”

“Yes- but look here,” Karl says, pointing at one entry in particular.

Blue orchid - light blue - random effect - 125 sec onset

Sapnap raises a brow. “Okay…?”

“This,” Karl says, “is absolute cap. No fucking way does Fundy go full meticulous with every other entry but leave this one at ‘random’ without at least kind of trying to find a pattern. But he only did six trials for this one, and you know what’s interesting?”

Sapnap blinks hard and shakes his head. Karl flips through the papers and settles on the test log where Fundy kept his original notes.

“He only tested it on Dream and George. No one else. Every other potion was tested on at least three people, but he fully stopped these trials after the initial run with them.”

“Uh… Okay?”

“Well, I got to thinking- they were acting super weird that night when George busted down your door. Like, if they were genuinely worried about Tommy and Tubbo’s safety, wouldn’t they have said something immediately?”

“Well-”

“Unless they couldn’t,” Karl continues, glee building in his tone. “Because they were totally wiped out by their potion. Plus, you said George was obviously lying, so it had to be something embarrassing.”

“Where are you going with this?”

“I brewed some and tested it.”

“What?!”

Karl giggles. “Sapnap. Oh my god. I couldn’t believe it the first time, so I tried it three times. The effect was always the same. It’s not random.”

Sapnap opens and shuts his mouth a few times. His concern falls under the smoldering weight of his curiosity. “What does it do?”

Karl tosses the stack of papers onto the counter and takes both of Sapnap’s hands. “It makes you crazy magic horny, man.”

Sapnap blanches, then flushes. “Wait-”

“Dude. I’ve never been so hard in my fucking life. If I didn’t have milk with me, I think I would’ve been willing to fuck a brewing stand. I’m not even kidding.”

“I- it- you…” Sapnap searches Karl’s eyes for any hint of deception, but he finds only earnest certainty. “Well… How does that… Confirm anything? If it was just the potion, it doesn’t mean they’re actually, like…”

“See, that’s the best part. The whole time I was under the effect, all I could think about was how fucking badly I wanted you to be there. Like, straight up, I was about to call you over to come drill me into the floor right here in the Brew House. I wanted you more than I wanted to breathe, Sapnap. And I don’t think that was a coincidence. No one else would have done.”

“Oh.” Sapnap stares at their connected hands to avoid meeting Karl’s gaze. “So they…”

“They must have already been into each other- which, yeah, no one is surprised. But that made me super sus, and I started paying way more attention. Did you know they’ve slept over at each others’ places every night for the last two weeks?”

“Are you stalking them or something?”

“No. My place is right near Dream’s, and I see them leaving together most mornings. That, or I don’t see either of them, which would imply they were at George’s place.”

Sapnap scrambles for something- anything he can fucking say, but he comes up short. He slumps forward into Karl’s chest and releases a beleaguered sigh. “I was sworn to secrecy, man,” he says. “If they ever find out you know, they will never believe me that you figured it out on your own. George will actually murder me.”

“I mean, I’m not planning on telling them anything,” Karl says, releasing Sapnap’s hands to wrap him in a loose embrace. “But I wanted you to know that I know. So you’re not keeping this all by yourself.”

Sapnap shuts his eyes and circles his arms around Karl’s waist.

“Also, I needed a pretense to tell you about the horny potion because I brewed more.”

Sapnap rears back. “What?”

“I have more,” Karl repeats. “Back at my place. If you want to check it out. It’s, uh- it’s intense, but I think it could be really fun.”

“Oh.” He flexes his fingers against Karl’s hips. “Like- right now?”

“Yeah, nimrod, right now.”

Sapnap scoffs. “You’re really gonna be calling me a nimrod right now when I’m about to blow your mind?”

“Only because you keep standing here acting like a nimrod.”

“Do you wanna get edged for an hour again? Because you’re talking like someone who wants to get edged for an hour again.”

“Please, like you could resist that long.”

“Oh, you are asking for it now, Jacobs.”

“Asking for you to actually follow through on all those big threats you make? Yeah, nimrod, I am.”

Sapnap growls and tilts Karl’s head down with firm grasp on his jaw to pull him into a kiss.

“Sapnap wants- mm- to ki-mm- kiss me confirmmmff-” Karl says in the brief moments between presses of their lips.

“Oh my god, shut up.”

“Literally make me?”

“Fine by me, darlin’.”

Sapnap steps forward, crowding Karl against the wall, and slides a leg between Karl’s to press his thigh firmly against Karl’s groin while he draws Karl into a dirty open-mouthed kiss.

Karl whimpers and immediately melts against Sapnap, wrapping around him and clinging with a scrambling desperation that’s backed by the twitching and hardening of his cock against Sapnap’s thigh. Sapnap doesn’t let up, continuing to grind his leg against Karl and moving to trail wet kisses along Karl’s jaw and down to the column of his throat, where he skims his teeth- mindful not to use enough pressure to leave a mark- before shoving his oversized hoodie aside and sinking down to bite hard into the space just above Karl’s left collarbone.

“Hahhhhfuck, Sapnap- God- please-”

Sapnap pulls fully away, planting a hand on Karl’s chest to keep him from following. He whimpers and thrusts into the air for a moment.

“W- hey,” Karl whines, giving Sapnap pleading eyes.

“Hush,” Sapnap presses a finger to Karl’s lips. “Keep that pretty mouth shut, darlin’. I’ll make you feel good but you have to behave.”

Karl whines, swallows hard, and says, “You- you want me so bad it’s embarrassing.”

“Oh?” Sapnap crosses his arms and takes another full step back. “Guess you don’t want me to touch you after all.”

“Nooooo,” Karl says, legs trembling. “Sapnap, come on, please-”

“I don’t wanna hear it.”

“What if- what if I tell you how bad I want it? How you’re the hottest person on the planet and every second you’re not touching me is- is agony? And- and I can’t keep my mouth shut because I have to tell you how good you feel, how much I love it when you touch me?”

Sapnap looks him over for a long moment, then slinks closer, hovering just shy of contact and leaning up to murmur right into Karl’s ear.

“Any askers?”

Then he takes another full step back, and Karl gasps and grabs at the counter behind him to support himself. His fingers brush against one of the empty bottles and it makes a small clink as it slides a centimeter over and collides with another bottle.

Karl’s expression breaks all at once and he slides to the floor in a mess of giggles.

Sapnap’s brows furrow. “What’s so funny?”

“I just-” Karl wheezes and buries his face in his hands. “We’re supposed to- I made the potions.”

“Oh. Right.” Sapnap flushes and ducks his head. “I, uh, got caught up in the moment. Oops.”

“Me too,” Karl assures, reaching to grab Sapnap’s calf in an oddly comforting gesture. “We shouldn’t actually fuck in here, though. Pretty sure it’s against the rules.”

“Eh, whatever. I caught Dream and George looking like they were about to stick their hands down each other’s pants in the infirmary, so we get at least one free pass.”

Sapnap holds a hand out and helps pull Karl up to his feet. Karl dusts himself off and runs a hand through his hair, and Sapnap takes in the beautiful flush of pink across his cheeks.

“Are you good to walk back to your place?”

Karl barks a laugh and gestures to the visible stiffness in his jeans. “You get me all worked up then tell me you walked in on Dream and George practically boning and you expect me to be calm?”

Sapnap wrinkles his nose. “Dude. Dream’s, like, my brother. Nothing could be more of a turn-off than thinking about him… Eugh.”

“Yeah, but. George. He’s smoking hot, dude.”

“I mean, yeah, but he’s also George,” Sapnap protests, crossing his arms. “He’s practically my brother-in-law.”

Karl tilts his head. “What?”

“Oh- it’s an Old World thing. Do you know about marriage?”

“Uh… No, I don’t think so. Doesn’t sound familiar, anyway.”

Sapnap struggles to recall the hazy details from his childhood. Dream and he stumbled onto a bookshop in some relatively intact ruins when Sapnap was… Eight? Maybe nine? And they scoured the shelves for anything that wasn’t too damaged to be legible, though Sapnap was at a pretty stark disadvantage in determining legibility as he didn’t know how to read at the time. Dream eventually came up with five books that weren’t too heavy to carry. He used them as learning aids at first, but with such limited material, it didn’t take long for Sapnap to outright memorize the contents of each book, and before long, his “reading” practice was more “reciting” practice. Dream still made him copy the words down letter by letter until his clumsy hand could reliably recreate them.

But that’s not the point. The point is that one of the books was about marriage.

Marriage is an Old World thing. When two people love each other, one of them gives the other a ring, and they have a special party called a ‘wedding’ where all of their friends and family gather together and watch them promise to love each other forever. After that party, they’re ‘married.’ Boys who are married are called ‘husbands’ and girls who are married are called ‘wives.’ If you’re neither, you can be a ‘spouse.’ The idea seemed silly to Sapnap for a long time, but the way Dream talked about it made him change his mind. He was always so wistful, and so full of hope- he’d tell Sapnap he wished more than anything to love someone so much that he would want to be theirs for the rest of his life. Sapnap suggested that they could get married, and that made Dream laugh. It’s a different kinda love, Pandas, he’d said. It’s the kind where you wanna kiss and stuff.

Sapnap decided that sounded gross, and told Dream so, which only made him laugh more.

He couldn’t really, truly grasp marriage-love until George entered their lives. Seeing it play out in front of him in real time gave Sapnap the piece he’d been missing, and he came to take up Dream’s mantle of yearning; Dream himself no longer had to want for that kind of love, though it would take him nearly a decade to realize as much.

Sapnap cradled that flame of desire for a long time.

“Okay, um… It’s like… A ceremony, where you promise to love someone for the rest of your life,” he explains. “And the commitment is so strong that it’s recognized by the law. When you marry someone, their family becomes your family, too- so, like, your father-in-law, or your sister-in-law, or…”

“Your brother-in-law,” Karl finishes.

“Right. So George is basically my brother because he’s pretty much married to Dream, and always has been.”

“Tell me more,” Karl says, taking Sapnap’s hand and pressing his lips to his knuckles. “I wanna hear more about… Marriage.”

They end up sitting together with their backs to the cabinets while Sapnap recounts every detail he knows about weddings. He tells Karl about rings worn on specific fingers, about big white dresses and dark suits, about maids of honor and best men. He speaks with envy of towering cakes and first dances and speeches full of wonderful promises. Karl listens with rapt attention- the kind that might concern Sapnap if he felt there was any chance Karl could use this knowledge for mischief.

“Oh, man, okay- so the best part is, the marriage doesn’t fully count until you have sex.”

Karl barks a laugh. “How do they even check for that?”

“I think it was supposed to be an honor system thing. But it’s called consummating, and once that’s done it’s completely official and you’re married forever.”

“Wouldn’t people get married on accident all the time?”

“Nah, it only counts if you do the ceremony first.”

“Huh.” Karl nods slowly. “We should get married.”

Sapnap chokes on his saliva and spends several seconds coughing while Karl rubs soothing circles into his shoulder blades and laughs at him.

“Jesus fuck,” Sapnap groans. “You can’t just- spring that shit on me, man.”

“Oh, sorry,” Karl says, far from apologetic. “How should I lead into it? Do I take you out to dinner first, or is this a post-orgasm pillow talk situation?”

“You’re supposed to have a ring. Like- the person who proposes.”

Karl hums.

“And, like, it’s meant to be all romantic and shit, I think? You get down on one knee when you ask, and if they say yes, you put the ring on their finger.”

“Ah, I see.”

“And also, we’ve… We only started, like… Seeing each other a couple of months ago. I think you’re supposed to be together for a while before you get married.”

“I mean, we’ve only been together for two months, sure, but the full year of pining and flirting that came before it has to count for something. I’ve been in love with you for, like, forever, Sapnap.”

His cheeks color and he has to look away from the earnest affection in Karl’s gaze. “…Yeah,” he breathes. “Me too. I guess we kinda skipped the early dating part.”

“That settles it then!” Karl claps and beams at Sapnap. “You said we can be engaged for marriage before actually doing it, right? Well, I’m gonna propose to you. It’s gonna knock your socks off. I’ll have to dive to catch you before you swoon directly into the floor.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sapnap grumbles, fighting the fierce blush trying to climb his cheeks. “Can we go to your place and fuck already?”

“Obviously.” Karl grabs Sapnap’s hand and tugs him easily up and out the door.

Four bottles sit in a line on the nightstand.

Two are light blue and shimmering with a hazy green glow of magic. The other two are milk, fresh from Karl’s fridge.

Sapnap studies them while he unlaces his boots. “Should we just get the lube out now, or…?”

“Won’t need it.”

His eyes snap to meet Karl’s. “Oh. I thought we were gonna, like…”

“We are,” Karl assures with a mischievous smile.

That's okay! I was just wondering but thank you for taking the time to reply :] I appreciate your works either way. I would be interested in seeing those scraps? I just adore the universe

gonna reblog this post (so i don't end up in tags) and put the stuff under the cut! one moment please

[randynova]

Poor Petal, she must have had a panic attack when she found out she was pregnant for the first time.

She was downright terrified.

She broke down crying, screaming into her pillow, refusing to let Doma hold or console her. Surprisingly, he left her alone, letting her deal with her emotions on her own.

The only words he left her was, "Oh, [Name], I'm so happy. Soon, we're going to be parents, my sweet pretty petal!"

[Name] just couldn't understand how this happened. She was careful, so diligent in taking the tea every night. She began racking her mind, trying to make sense of it all, and search for a possibility why this small mistake occurred.

Until she recalled two months prior, where Doma's insatiable hunger for his wife consumed him. Like an animal in heat, he forced himself on her, ignoring her pleas to stop, releasing his fertile seed deep into her womb. Over and over again, he made sure every night she was filled with his cum, having the sole mission to make her bear his children.

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

Doma had to travel southward for demon duties and he felt this was the perfect opportunity for you both to get closer. A whole week together, all alone while he was free from his duties, a chance to finally have some quality bonding time without his cult. It was a dream come true.

However, this place was in the middle of nowhere, hardly any villages, let alone stores, around. All the sources you used to protect yourself from Doma were gone, the foods and teas you consumed to prevent a pregnancy out of reach.

The only people around were fellow upper moons, who stayed far away from your husband, especially you.

Thus, you were forced to endure his doting behavior, forced to play his dangerous games, and forced to let him breed you.

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

"Pretty petal. So pretty, so beautiful. You're taking me so well, hah," Doma laughs, snapping his hips harshly, thick balls slapping against your skin. You bounced with every thrust, mewling and whimpering, begging him to slow down. It only stirred him on to go faster. "No, no, no, this is the best way to ensure maximum success with fertilizing you. I have to make sure my seed is as deep as possible inside you, my petal!"

The aching between your legs grew, arching your back as an orgasm washes over you once again. Your juices release over his thick cock, eyes rolling to the back of your head as your velvet walls constrict around him. "Ah! Ah, D-Doma!"

"Mm, hngh! P-petal! Petal! Petal! " Doma whines out, biting his bottom lip, grinning like a madman as the sweet relief of climax fast approaches him. His thrusts turn sloppy and his hips stutter. Quickly, he pulls out and leaves you feeling empty for a few seconds. He grabs your legs, hooking his arms around your knees, and pushes your thighs to your chest, claws digging into your plush skin as he starts to hammer into you. "So-so good! Such a good girl! You'll be such a good mother, sweet petal! Just you wait! I'll make you a mommy, ok? Just- fuck!"

He releases long, thick ropes of cum, painting your womb white with his fertile seed once more. He thrusts weakly, head falling back as he gasps. "Mm, ah-ah, [N-Name]...!" You squeeze your eyes shut, looking to the side, swallowing bitterly as he fills you to the brim, cum leaking out as he slides in and out. It drips onto the bed, staining the pristine, red cotton sheets.

"Oh, petal, please don't look away. I want to see you," Doma croons, pulling out with a shaky breath and looking down at the mess between your legs with a grin. White painted the sheets below like a puddle. He pulls out with a groan. Seeing the way your pussy gushes out his cum, flexing around nothing, it makes him want to take you all over again. He slides two fingers up across your folds, gathering his seed, and pushing it back into your sopping hole with his fingertips. He hums whilsts you whine, rocking your hips at the weird sensation. "Such a pretty sight, you took me so well, petal. I'm so proud of you!"

He's met with silence. Though, it doesn't bother him as he already fulfilled his task for the night. After five long rounds, he believes its enough for the day and he'll repeat the process tomorrow. For now, both of you need rest, we'll, mainly you if you're going to stay awake during the whole ordeal.

You were in a daze as Doma cleaned both you and himself up, changing the sheets into soft clean ones, and covering your body with the blankets, tucking it in.

"Good night, my pretty wife," Doma whispers, taking his spot beside you, his arms slithering around your frame and pulling you close. His chest pressed against your nude back, his legs tangling in yours, and he buried his face in your hair, taking a deep breath of your sweet aroma. "I love you..."

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

Immediately after coming back from your journey, Doma became busy, his schedule packed to the brim with orders from his master. It irritated him, saddened him even, that he would be apart from you for a while.

As much as he loved ravishing your body every night, he had to focus on completing every task with precise accuracy. He doesn't want to disappoint his master after all.

But before he left you alone the first night back, he replaced your assigned follower with a different one. One that reported back to him and carried out his orders, their loyalty to the demon overriding their morals to protect you.

He wasn't stupid. It didn't take long for him to figure out the tea you drank prevented you from becoming pregnant, a huge change to the tea he got to make you fertile. The news did upset him, but he hid the discovery and played along with your little antics. It made him try to come up with a solution, where he disguised the tea you drank to better fit his wishes.

Like an unsuspecting mouse, you walked right into the cat's claws.

Anyone who tried helping you was either eaten by Doma or killed by him in another manner. If the actions of a stupid, disloyal follower was keeping him away from his dream of having a family, the demon won't hesitate to get rid of them. They should know better.

Doma's dreams are his followers' orders.

If he says he dreamt of eating a hundred virgins, his followers should offer him the bountiful feast of meat from a hundred virgins.

If he says he dreamt of growing his cult, his followers should go out and recruit people to join them.

Now, if he says he dreams of a child with his wife, his followers should offer their help and make sure he gets his child.

By god, did they live up to his expectations for once. Everyone - from the ones who prepared your meals to the new members who brought you gifts - made sure every small action built up to the final wish of their leader's plan.

Every food and drink you consumed had been carefully chosen to help make you plump and help the baby grow. Every bath had been filled with excotic herbs to soothe your changing body. Every offering had slowly been gearing towards a human smaller than you. Yet, you never really paid attention to the small differences.

Doma noticed how tired you seem lately, how you complained to the follower assigned to you about the tenderness of your breast and the pain of your abdominal and pelvis area, and even how different you looked, almost glowing.

At first, he didn't put the pieces together. Surely all women were like this, right? Yet, that wasn't the case.

He found himself always wondering why your emotions were easily more unhinged, why you ate the foods he hand-fed you more easily, or why you were napping in the afternoon. Yes, he liked these changes and welcomed them eagerly, believing you were finally warming up to him. But why?

After nearly six weeks, you were worried why your period didn't come. You speculated the stress could have been a prominent factor in causing your late cycle, sometimes occurring in your youth. You seem bloated lately as well, you note, or it could've been weight gain due to the food you have been eating lately. Thus you brushed it off.

It'll come soon, you just know it. Afterall, you're still a human and change is a part of life.

In another area of the temple, a different situation was unfolding. When the trusted follower reported to Doma about your very late menstrual cycle, he clapped with joy like a child being entertained. Of course! How slow can he be?! You finally are carrying his child! The hormonal changes affected how you behaved with him and the sudden weight gain explained it all.

Oh, he just couldn't wait for the day to come!

However...

He had to make sure you did nothing irresponsible to push back his dream.

Doma became more strict and possessive with you. He didn't let you go anywhere alone. Even if you were in the privacy of your room, someone had to be there.

The days where you spent waiting for him in your bedroom were now spent at his side. He forced you to sit on his lap like before, feeding you more than you're used to. Any question concerning his increase of doting behavior was met with a laugh and a kiss to your cheek. "I just love you so much, I want you to be healthy!"

Doma isn't stupid. He knew the moment he mentioned, or even insinuated, you were pregnant, you would break down and possibly affect the baby negatively. He didn't know if you were capable of taking drastic measures of getting rid of it this far along, but he didn't want to find out.

With careful, watchful eyes, Doma made sure everyday you were fed well, that you were always protected, and made sure nothing upset you. He went the extra mile to find medicine and herbs incase you ever fell ill. The demon made sure your attention was always occupied to keep from noticing your changing body.

To say it worked was an understatement.

By the fifth month, you realized despite your growing stomach, you weren't gaining weight anywhere else. Most of your clothes fit like a glove except around your abdomen.

Your heart began to race as you wracked your mind of the events for the past few months.

When was the last time you had gotten your period?

You don't recall changing your sheets every month because you stained it, nor do you recall dealing with the hassle of keeping yourself clean. Come to think of it, you felt at ease these past few months, the usual cramps and cravings you felt no longer bothering you like before.

Ridding yourself of your clothes, slipping your kimono off until you're left in your undergarments of hadajyuban and susuyoke. You undid your sash and revealed your stomach. You're met with the sight of your bulging tummy and tender breasts. Pressing a finger pad to the skin of your stomach, it seemed firm instead of soft and plush. With a shaky breath, you pressed your palms against your stomach and...

Kick. Kick.

You removed your hands immediately, face falling. No...

No. No! No! No!

How didn't you notice it before!?

Your chest fell and rose quickly with every breath you took, hyperventilating as the situation dawned on you. You were pregnant. Actually pregnant with that damn demon's child. A bellowing scream ripped from your throat, the high-pitch intensity resonating like shattering glass throughout the temple.

Doma raced to your bedroom, fearing the worse as he heard his wife scream. He ran into the bedroom, only to be met with your form bawling on the floor, hunched over as sobs wracked your body. Followers tried to console you, yet you ignored them.

Doma approached you carefully and crouched down, but the moment he put a hand on your back, you whipped your head and cracked your hand across his face like a whip. He fell back, catching himself, shock etched into his features. You... You hit him? He paid no mind to the followers who raced to his side, asking him if he was okay. He was more surprised you dared slap him.

The stinging of his cheek didn't hurt , but it caught him off guard. He looked up and leered at you with wide eyes. Yet he clashed with the burning, sorrowful gaze you held.

"Fuck you! Goddamnit, leave me alone, you monster! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!!" You screech, standing up and burying your face in your hands. Tears slipped through your fingers and dripped to the floor.

Doma smiled, finally understanding why you were reacting the way you were. He began chuckling, then giggling, and then he broke into a fit of laughter. He stood up and held a hand to his face, looking at you with a crazed, delighted expression on his face. Gleefully, he spoke, "Oh, petal! You finally caught on!"

You shake your head and begin crying louder, turning your back to the demon. "No, no, no...," you whimper.

"We're going to be parents...," Doma croons, taking small, quiet steps towards you. Like before, he tries pulling you close but you brush him off.

"Please... Please, just leave me alone...!"

"Oh, [Name], you'll see. Once our baby is here, you'll love being a mommy. Just like I'll love being a papa...!"

"No... I didn't want this...."

"But I did! I told you for so long...," Doma whispers, uncomfortably close to you. He lets out a breathy laugh. "And now that you're finally with child, I'm going to make sure I see my baby no matter what."

You could only stand in horror, listening to his voice. The panic crawled up your throat, fear taking hold of you as you froze up. With bated breath, you wait for him to leave. But his next words made your heart drop and blood run cold.

"I'm willing to do anything for our child, [Name]. Even if it means I may have to hurt you to guarantee their safe arrival."

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

Doma is not submissive and breedable. He is dominant and fertile.

He finally has his wish of having a family with the woman he loves.

And he'll do anything to make it come true.

Even if it means he has to become the monster and hurt you to get it.

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

©𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚟𝚊 || 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎𝚍 || 𝚗𝚘 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜, 𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚜, 𝚌𝚘𝚙𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚎𝚝𝚌. 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚌𝚒𝚛𝚌𝚞𝚖𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚜,

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

[charles-rxwlands]

lay all your love on me

okay!! so this is my fic for @magpiencrow's 1.2k writing challenge.

this is based off of the song lay all your love on me, slowed, by putin

pairing: nikolai/reader

rating: general

tags: gn!reader w/ gn pronouns, fluff

summary: falling in love with nikolai lantsov told through several vignettes

or: mindless nikolai/reader fluff with a alina and ivan being little shits

warnings: right off the bat there's a nightmare about drowning in the ocean, and there's one (1) swear word at the end, but other than that, there's nothing

word count: 4.1k

read on ao3

constructive criticism, feedback, and reblogs are greatly appreciated !

I haven't written anything in a while, so i may be a bit rusty, but please enjoy :)

You were drowning, and also pretty damn sure you were going to die out here. Your lungs were on fire, screaming for air, but you couldn't emerge from the ocean for long enough to suck in a breath. Sure, your hand or head breached the surface every now and then, but a wave would come crashing down on you immediately after, destroying all your progress.

      The undulating waves threw you around like a football - a very pathetic one, at that. As hard as you tried to fight the current, it still insisted on moving against you (stubborn bastard), so really you weren't going anywhere. Just pathetically bobbing around in the same pathetic place. You couldn't feel your limbs - the only thing you could feel was the agonising ache in your chest. It was as if your arms and legs had frozen over along with your will to live.

      How easy it would be to just... 

...let the ocean take you...

      Suddenly, someone grabbed you by the wrist. You screamed, which was a mistake; immediately, salty seawater filled your mouth, making you gag and choke. Nevertheless, you valiantly tried to release yourself from whoever - whatever? - had their hold on you. 

      "Y/n, Y/n! Relax, darling, relax," a voice said, sounding out of breath. "It's me."

      You whirled your head around. Sagging with relief, you gasped out the name of your saviour. "Nikolai."

      "Yes. Yes, Y/n, my love, it's me. It's Nikolai," he soothed, running his hands over your wet hair.

      "Nikolai," you breathed. "Nikola-" - a wave reared up on its hind legs, ready to come crashing down onto your friend, ready to take him away - "no, no, Nikolai, NO-!"

   

You startled, eyes flying open. You were shaking like a leaf. Were you cold, or was it just the adrenaline from the nightmare still making its course? You shook your head as if to rid your mind of the dream. It wasn't real. Nikolai had saved you that night. It was fine. It wasn't real.

      But it could very well have been real, a traitorous voice in your mind whispered. Scowling, you cursed your pessimistic side. Even if a wave had separated you two, Nikolai would have fought tooth and nail to get to you again. You would have done the same. After all, you were childhood friends, and you knew better than anyone that Nikolai didn't let go of his loved ones so easily.

      He hadn't wanted you to accompany him on his journey overseas as Sturmhond. You insisted otherwise, channeling some of Nikolai's stubbornness that had rubbed off on you. ("You're not getting rid of me that easily, idiot. So let me come, unless you want me to steal your kneecaps."). 

      A half-smile appeared on your face as you thought back to the memory. Slowly, you got up from your bed. Your blanket was draped over your shoulders. You slipped out of your cabin quietly, walking down the hallway until you found yourself in front of Nikolai's room. He stirred in his sleep when you entered. The door creaked slightly, but it didn't seem like his distress was because of the noise.

      You sat on the edge of his bed. Nikolai, previously facing away, turned over to face you. His eyes were still screwed shut, eyebrows knitted together and an unhappy expression on his face. You frowned. 

      "Nikolai." you nudged him gently. "Wake up. You're okay, just wake up. It's just a dream."

      He opened his eyes, blinking at you. "Y/n?"

      "Hi," you said. A lock of golden hair fell over his forehead, and upon instinct, you reached to brush it away. He let you, not uttering any of his usual complaints. 

      "You were gone," he mumbled, undoubtedly referencing his nightmare. "I- I couldn't save you, and you were gone." 

      You shifted into a more comfortable position - your whole body was on the bed now, with your back against the headboard. He leaned his head against your chest, and you ran your fingers through his hair. "It wasn't real. It's okay. You saved me - I'm not going anywhere, 'Lai."

      "Me either," he agreed, wrapping his arms around your middle. A beat of silence. Then, "Thank you."

      You were more than content to fall asleep like this. Even if it meant waking up with an ache in your neck. Judging from the way he was curled up, practically drinking in your presence, Nikolai felt the same way.

      What a feeling it was to have found solace in Nikolai Lantsov, and to know he had found solace in you, too.

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

Nikolai's pov

Nikolai watched from the corner of the ballroom as you laughed at one of Ivan's jokes. One would say that he was scowling, but the Prince of Ravka didn't scowl. No - he was simply observing your conversation with the Heartrender with visible distaste. He was not scowling. And he was not jealous.

      You and Ivan were smiling at each other, standing by the refreshments table, mouths moving quickly, the both of you obviously interested in whatever you were talking about. You threw your head back in a laugh. You looked gorgeous. Nikolai wanted to make you laugh like that - more than he wanted to admit.

      The last straw was when Ivan lay a hand on your shoulder, and then snaked his arm around you. You didn't seem perturbed by his touch - no, actually, you leaned into it. He bent down to whisper something in your ear that made you duck your head in embarrassment and lightly hit his chest. 

      Nikolai's glare deepened, if that were even possible. Okay, fine, maybe he was jealous. Did he even have the right to be jealous, though? It wasn't as if he was dating you, as much as he'd like to be.

And oh boy, he'd like to be. 

      Suddenly, Alina appeared at his side, seemingly out of thin air. He flinched. "Alina." 

      The girl in question had a mischievous look in her eye. Her hands were clasped in front of her, the long, flowy sleeves of her dress falling just past her wrists. The bottom half of her gown was a sparkly gold, whereas the top half was a dark blue. The two colours faded into each other at the middle, creating a gradient effect. It was a beautiful dress. You had helped Alina pick it out yourself, if he remembered correctly.

      "Hello, loverboy." she poked him in the side, grinning knowingly. "How's your crush on Y/n going for you?"

      "I don't have a crush on them, Alina, for Saint's sake."

      "Oh, is that so? You do seem... ah, what was the word... utterly whipped for them, contrary to what you just said," she said, tilting her head to the side, feigning innocence.

      "Am not," he argued. "I-," Nikolai paused, taking notice of you and Ivan walking past a couple metres away. Unfortunately, you were too engrossed in your current conversation to notice him. His eyes lingered on you. He only looked away when you disappeared back into the throng of people. 

      Alina let out a triumphant 'ha!'. 

      He directed his attention back to her and glared. "Alina, I swear-,"

      "Utterly. Whipped," she mouthed.

      "I will behead you," he threatened.

      She laughed. "In all seriousness, I really don't think Y/n and Ivan like each other like that," Alina said.

      "Well, of course not," he agreed. "Y/n very clearly has eyes for me. I can't say I blame them - who could resist all this? Everyone's all over me, as I'm sure you've noticed." 

      Alina stared at him pointedly.

      "Ah, except for you, of course. You seem to be the only one immune to my charm and charisma. An odd one, you are."

       She rolled her eyes. "Why do I even bother," she groaned. "Just swear to me that you'll tell Y/n you like them soon. Within a week. Swear on... your dignity."

      "My dignity?" Nikolai drawled.

      "Yes, your dignity, because if you don't fess up soon, I'll have to tell Y/n about your crush on them myself," she grinned smugly, and darted off before Nikolai could retort. 

      He sighed. As he saw it, he had three options:

      1. Blackmail Alina (because of course she wouldn't give in to simple bribery)

      2. Get on his knees and beg Alina to not tell you of his massive crush (there! he admitted it; he had a massive crush on you! One that he'd been harbouring for just over a year now, too)

      3. Listen to Alina, and confess on his own terms

      All three were mortifying, and things he absolutely didn't want to do. However, the last was considerably easier to do, and came with the most benefits and the least consequences. You had already seen him through his most embarrassing moments (and he through yours) so even if you rejected him, the humiliation would be minimal. 

      And maybe he wanted to confess. And maybe there was hope that you liked him back. Nikolai wasn't stupid - he knew when people fancied him. He suspected you liked him back, but then again, that could've been wishful thinking, or maybe he was misreading the entire thing.

      He didn't even understand why he was so jealous of the way Ivan and you had interacted. Before he had fallen heads over heels in love with you, his childhood best friend, people flirting with you hadn't been a problem. He'd encouraged it, even. But now, bitterness flared up inside of him every time he saw someone getting a bit too cozy with you. 

      In short, his feelings for you had completely destroyed his facade of smooth, suave, sexy Prince of Ravka. And it kind of terrified him how poorly he hid it.

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

Nikolai had been acting strange lately, and it was bothering you. You feared the worst - had he finally caught on to your crush? You thought you'd been subtle until Ivan had approached you at the most recent party. Apparently, the scowl on your face as you watched Nikolai flirt with the guests had been fierce enough to kill.

      Ivan had given you (unsolicited) advice, telling you to be straightforward and direct. That was what he'd done with Fedyor, after all, and that had worked out well.

      You were pacing around your room. Ivan was perched on your bed, watching you have a borderline nervous breakdown like one would watch the view. 

      "You're enjoying this, aren't you, Ivan?" you demanded. "I'm about to make a life or death decision, and you're enjoying it."

      He chuckled. "I wouldn't call this a life or death decision, Y/n. If Nikolai rejects you, he rejects you, and it's his loss. If he reciprocates, good, and you'll be free to frolic in the meadows with him, all fine and dandy."

      You stared at him, your expression communicating, "Did you really just say that?", very clearly.

      "Okay, okay, fine, I'll be serious." Ivan relented. "Just tell him, Y/n. What's the worst that could happen?" 

      Just as you were about to respond - "Well, I don't know, what if he rejects me, things become eternally awkward between us, and our 10 year long friendship is ruined because I couldn't keep my mouth shut?" - someone knocked at the door. You opened it to find Nikolai waiting. His hair was perfectly styled, as always. He wore a dark turquoise suit jacket, and a simple white dress shirt underneath. The ghost of a smile appeared on your face; you had chosen the colour for him.

      "Hi, Nikolai," you greeted. 

      "Hello," he said. "Come on a walk with me. It's a lovely day outside, and both of us have been dreadfully busy lately - we may not get another chance to spend time together, I'm afraid."

      "Oh! Of course, just let me grab more suitable shoes- I'll be out in a minute- Ivan, move." You rummaged around your room in search of the sandals Nikolai had gifted you for your most recent birthday. Ivan flashed you a grin.

      "Tell him!" he whispered as you ducked out the door.

      You hoped you didn't seem too jittery as you took Nikolai's arm, even if your insides were filled with butterflies. He seemed deep in thought for the first few minutes of your walk. It wasn't until you were both outside that he finally spoke.

      "I hope you don't mind me asking, Y/n, but what was Ivan doing in your room?" he asked. 

      The question caught you off guard. Why was he so concerned about you and Ivan? It wasn't as if-

      Oh.

      Oh.

      "Nikolai, don't tell me- are you jealous?" you exclaimed.

      "Just answer the question, Y/n," he grumbled, which was enough of an answer for you.

      You laughed, only feeling a bit bad that you were so amused. Nikolai Lantsov, jealous. You found that incredibly funny. "Oh, I'm sorry for laughing," you apologised, even as another giggle escaped your mouth. "You don't have to worry, Ivan and I are strictly friends."

      He didn't seem convinced. "But the two of you at the party a few days ago-,"

      You cut him off. "Nikolai. I promise that there is nothing romantic going on with Ivan and I. And besides, I don't think I'm anywhere near his type."

      "Ivan likes men, Nikolai," you supplied, sensing his confusion. "Honestly, you need to keep up with gossip - he and Fedyor have been going strong for nearly three months now."

      "Oh," Nikolai said.

      "Yeah, oh."

      "And, uh, do you? Like men, I mean?" 

      You bit back another laugh. "Yes, I do. One man in particular, actually." 

      "Is that so? Care to clue me in on who this man is?"

      "You." 

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

Nikolai's pov

"You."

      As soon as that single word came out of your mouth, Nikolai's brain short-circuited, and several alarms blared in his mind. ALERT! ALERT! THE PERSON YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH LIKES YOU BACK! 

      He was too stunned to speak, which was definitely a first. So, naturally, he didn't speak, but instead leaned in to kiss you. His lips brushed chastely against yours. A pause. 

      "I- I'm really sorry, Y/n, I should have asked beforehand-,"

      "Nikolai." you took his face in your hands. "Shut up." 

      And then you kissed him, and if his brain had been short-circuiting before, this was a full blown system failure. Sparks flew inside of him, and he was acutely aware of you and you only. It was a wonderful feeling, one that he immediately missed when you pulled away.

      "Wow," you said. 

      He grinned. "I'm that good of a kisser, huh?"

      When usually you would come up with a witty response, you just smiled. It was a smile Nikolai was pretty sure he'd die to see again. 

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

Falling in love with Nikolai had been a long process. Your simple crush developed into something deeper like a leaky faucet dripping - slowly, but steadily. And then the realisation that you were in love with him hit you like a tidal wave. Drowning you, consuming every inch of your being, but not necessarily in a bad way.

       You came to your epiphany while laying awake in bed one night after a whole day spent with the esteemed King of Ravka. It was a wonder that you'd managed to spend a whole 10 hours or so in his company without getting fed up, Tamar had teased. He did annoy you - and had today - but you bullied him back plenty enough. It was easy being with him. Easier than you were used to. 

       You loved the way his eyes sparkled after correcting someone on their use of the word 'impossible'. Loved how he devoted himself to his country so selflessly. Loved how he smiled at you so genuinely and lovingly, even when you didn't have the energy to show your love in return after a bad day. Saints, you loved him so, so much, and you were so in love with him, too, and-

       Holy shit. You were in love with Nikolai.

       You were in love. With Nikolai.

       A childish giggle bubbled up inside of you, and you sighed happily. What a feeling it was to be in love with the King of Ravka, even if he didn't know it yet. 

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

You twirled a small flower around in your hands as you walked side by side with Nikolai, your shoulders brushing occasionally. The taller blades of grass tickled your ankles, and a gentle breeze weaved through your hair. The sun peeked out from behind a few clouds, warming your face.

     Nikolai intertwined your fingers, sighing in content. He craned back his neck to meet the sunshine, eyes fluttering shut. He looked stunning, just standing there with his almost otherworldly beauty as light spilled over his fine features, highlighting every detail.

     "I'm in love with you," you blurted suddenly. "I love you, and I'm also in love with you, so. Yeah. I'm in love with you, Nikolai Lantsov."

     You gave yourself a mental round of applause for your eloquence and tact.

      He blinked. "Oh." The ghost of a smile appeared on his face, turning into a full-fledged grin when he finally processed your words. "Oh. I'm... I'm in love with you, too, Y/n L/n."

      You beamed back at him, and cupped his face in your hands. You gently ran your fingers against his cheeks, tracing a line down to the base of his chest. The fabric of his shirt was thin and soft, unlike the suffocating material his suits were made of. Lovingly, he wrapped his arms around your waist, and pulled you close. Your heart fluttered. Saints, you adored Nikolai. More than you could put into words. 

      "I love you," you whispered. "I love you so much, so intensely that it consumes me, and I'm drowning in it. But instead of it being hard to breathe, it makes breathing easier. It makes everything easier." 

      You interrupted your little speech by kissing him, just because it felt appropriate, and continued. "I was so lost without you, Nikolai. I didn't realise it, because as I've proved time and time again, I'm more than capable of holding my own-" you smirked as he rolled his eyes at the jab to his overprotectiveness "-but I was. I was a boat lost at sea, floating around in the waves, with no destination and no goal except surviving. Then you came along, and gave me solace. You were my salvation. You and your endearingly stupid jokes and your wild yet grounded behaviour. You're my anchor, Nikolai." 

      He laughed, but not in the mean way. In the happy way. 

      "I would pay you back with a monologue of my own," he said. "but all I can think of right now is how perfect you are, and how much I want to kiss you."

      Your smile widened, if that were even possible. You met him midway, lips connecting almost desperately. The only coherent thought running through your brain was 'Nikolai, Nikolai, Nikolai.'

      Nikolai.

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

"That one looks like a dragon," you said, pointing out a lumpy cloud in the sky.

      Nikolai tilted his head to the left. It was rather cute - he looked like a puppy, trying to figure out what its owner was saying. His right eyebrow curved in an upward arch (you still had no idea how he managed to raise a single eyebrow at a time), and he pouted slightly. Adorable.

      "I don't see it," he deadpanned.

      You sighed and shook your head, dismissing the cute puppy ideology. "Nevermind," you huffed. As hard as you tried to pretend you were upset with him, a smile teased at the corners of your mouth, anyway.

      "I'm sorry, darling, but I really don't!" he exclaimed, flopping back into the picnic blanket you two had laid out. Really, it wasn't even a picnic blanket. It was just a blanket. The two of you hadn't had time to find a proper one before embarking on your impromptu picnic. Nikolai, ever the improviser, had then brandished a quilt from Saints knew where. You suspected it came from Vasily's room, because who else would be pompous enough to own a red velvet blanket the size of China?

      You dramatically exhaled again. "I already said nevermind. Not all of us can be blessed with a creative vision such as mine, after all."

      Nikolai laughed. And Saints, the sound was downright melodic. You didn't even want to begin thinking about all the things you'd do to hear it one more time.

      A comfortable silence settled between the two of you. Eventually, he began stroking your palm with his callouses fingers. You bit back a smile, and linked your pinkies together. A gathering of clouds mostly covered the sun - enough to allow only a bit of warm, gold light to seep out. You wondered briefly how Nikolai looked right now, basking underneath the faint sunshine. 

      The answer came to you easily, even without looking at him: fucking beautiful. 

      However, you wouldn't give him the satisfaction of staring at him. The last time he had caught you gaping at him like a lovesick fool, he had teased you endlessly. It was ridiculous. It wasn't as if he didn't stare at you. No, actually. He stared at you all the time. In fact, he was doing it right now.

      You bit back a grin when you felt his eyes on you. But before you could tease him for it, he got up suddenly, offering you a hand.

      "Come on," he urged. "Follow me."

      "Where to?" you questioned curiously.

      He smirked. Tugged on your hand. Winked. "You'll see." 

      "Right, that's not cryptic at all," you muttered. 

      Eventually, after a minute or so of walking (and plenty of you trying to weasel more information out of him) the two of you had seemed to reach your destination. A huge tree hung above you, offering its shade. You plopped down, but Nikolai remained standing.

      Strangely, he was looking rather nervous. Repeatedly tugging at the collar of his beige button-up shirt, and kicking at the grass. 

      "Y/n, darling, don't just sit there, you're making me nervous," he whined. 

      You giggled, but stood up anyway. "I could say the same about you. What's on your mind, dear?"

      He took a deep breath, and looked you dead in the eyes. "I love you, Y/n. I love you, and I'm in love with you. I always have, and always have been. It's just- you're wonderful. And intelligent. And charming. And I am so, so glad you are my partner - in the romantic sense, and the platonic sense. If I'm being honest, I'm quite sure I'd be tearing at the seams without you to sew me back together every time I do something particularly foolish. 

      And I hope you'll always be there to ground me. Because I will always be there for you. Th-there's no other way to say this, my darling, but I'd quite like to spend the rest of my life with you, so..."

      He brandished a dark blue box from his back pocket (this probably wasn't the time, but you had to mention that you could never fit something that large in your pocket. Why did men's clothing always have bigger pockets?) and got down on one knee. 

      "Will you do me the honour of marrying me, Y/n?" he finished.

      Holy fuck. Holy mother of Saints. Holy everything. Was this real? Saints. This really was real, wasn't it? Nikolai Lantsov was proposing to you.

      A sob escaped from your throat, and you nodded frantically, not wanting him to think you were upset. "Yes," you said. "Saints, Nikolai, yes."

      He smiled. You knew that he smiled a lot, but this smile was different. Usually, he just grinned or smirked in a devilish way - this was more of a beam. He looked so genuinely happy (genuinely happy, because of you!) that it made your heart soar, and you were pretty sure you fell in love with him all over again for the second time. You'd never get tired of it, though. Not when it came to Nikolai (Nikolai, your husband-to-be!). Never when it came to Nikolai.

      You soon found yourself enveloped in a hug. He spun you around, both of you laughing (and crying). When he set you down, you could have sworn you saw his eyes welling up.

      "Now, my love, those better be happy tears," he tutted.

      "Of course they're happy tears, you stupid puppy dog!" you sniffed. "I love you."

      He beamed into your hair. "I love you, too, Y/n."

      What a feeling it was to be in love with Nikolai Lantsov, and to know that he was in love with you, too.

[lem0nshark-writes]

‘’Warm Nights’’

Fili & Kili x Male (hobbit) Reader

Word count: 2148

Warnings: polyamorous, no incest - issa fili x reader x kili, fluffff, cute stuff okay

It has been a few moons since the dwarves took their kingdom back and the rightful king under the mountain was crowned. You and your best friend Bilbo returned back to the Shire and resumed with patching up the house back after your neighbouring hobbits split all of your belongings between themselves thinking you two had died.

The thoughts of you two's adventures with the company occupied both Bilbo's and yours minds and the two of you often spent time talking about them.

To be quite honest you missed the company a lot, especially the two dorky princes. The three of you managed to bond quite strongly during your journey to Erebor. But you missed everyone else too. Though Bilbo gave you a lot of comfort and his company was very dear to you.

One night as you two were preparing the dinner you noticed Bilbo has made a lot more food than usual, almost too much. But you paid it no mind thinking the hobbit was feeling extra hungry that evening. After you finished up the many foods you helped set up the table.

Remembering you forgot to turn the light off in your bedroom you made you way towards it, and just as you passed by the entrance door to the house you heard a knock.

You looked over at the door in surprise, questioning, not expecting anyone that late. You turned towards the direction of the kitchen and called out for Bilbo, "Hey Bilbo, are you expecting anyone?" you waited for him to answer but he didn't make a sound, you figured he was busy finishing up one of the last few dishes he was working on and shrugged it off, walking over to the door and opening it.

"Who is it-," you didn't even manage to finish up your sentence before a swarm of dwarves fell right on top of you, making you fall backwards on your butt with all the dwarves landing on you.

"Y/nnnnn!~~" all the dwarves cheered your name when they saw you, hugging you tightly not bothering to get off you and almost squishing you to death. Bilbo watched the scene from the door frame with a warm smile plastered on his face. He knew they were coming but wouldn't tell you, wanting it to be a surprise, and oh what a surprise it was.

"G-Guys what are you doing here??-" you smiled in surprise at your friends, trying to hug all of them back when you realized who it is that attacked your small body by piling on top of you.

"We had to visit our favourite hobbits!~" Bofur cheered. "Bilbo didn't tell you?" Thorin added.

"N-No-," you looked over at Bilbo with squinty eyes and he rose his hands up in a defensive way, "I wanted it to be a surprise," he smiled, not regretting his decision one bit.

You wanted to be upset but for the love of it you couldn't, the fact that the company was back together once again was overjoying and you couldn't get the smile off your face.

You and Bilbo took your time to greet each dwarf separately, many tight hugs being exchanged and even some cheek smooches too. And after you all finally done your greetings you and Bilbo lead them all into the dining room which was swarmed with foods and drinks. Many dishes, pastries, all sorts of drinks and desserts graced the table in plenty and you all sat down at the table. The dwarves wasted no time digging right in and soon enough cheerful singing filled the air, all of you joining in, and celebration took over the whole room.

After the lengthy dinner and many songs sung you all took it onto yourselves to clean up and then moved to the living room to share tales of the time you all spent away from each other. Stories of your adventures on your journey to the mountain finding themselves there as well as you all reminisced over the moments shared together.

You spent the rest of the night like that, just hanging out and chatting and when the time came to go to bed Bilbo helped settle everyone into their respective rooms for the night. You so happening to end up, due to the lack of rooms with a one-person bed, sharing a big one with the two princes and him totally accidentally ending up in a big one with Thorin.

The three of you slowly made it to your assigned room, chatting along happily as you walked.

As you got in, the princes started to take off some of their, now unnecessary, layers of clothing to get comfy for the bed and you took that opportunity to claim your spot on the bed.

"I call dibs on the middle!" you chirped cheerfully and catapulted yourself onto the bed, claiming your spot in the middle of the big bed, hugging the extra pillow you brought along.

The two chuckled at you as they put their clothes on the chair next to the wall of the room.

"Works for me," Fili grinned as he took off his boots.

"Me too," Kili smirked as he jumped on the bed as well, landing half-way on top of you, almost knocking all the air out of your lungs, and hugging you tightly.

You chuckled through your coughs and hugged him back, "Dear Lord, Kili-"

He just grinned cutely and so you couldn't even scold him, and just as you recovered from Kili's landing on you you got struck by another one, Fili hugged you just as tightly, snuggling into your body after the jump.

You smirked happily and pulled them both into a tight hug, getting back at them for the jumps.

They both let out gasps from being squeezed but you were gentle on them soon enough.

Brothers chuckled and you did as well and you all fled under the covers, the two of them sandwiching you into big warm hugs, which you very gladly returned.

The three of you shared the comfort of the quiet moment just hugging and being happy to have each other around once again, your heart feeling like it will burst out of your chest. To be quite honest you shared more than just very strong feelings of friendship towards the two, but you never acted on it, both because you didn't want to ruin the friendship but also because you loved both of them equally and you just couldn't pick, you didn't want to anyways.

"I missed you guys so much," you snuggled into them, making sure to grasp them both in your embrace.

"We missed you too," they smiled, each planting a kiss on your cheek, Fili on your right and Kili on your left.

You blushed through a smile and smooched the tips of their noses softly, returning the kisses.

They grinned and rested their heads on your shoulders, their faces almost completely in your neck, so close you could feel their warm breaths against your skin. It made you blush lightly.

"How long will you be staying? I hope you are not leaving tomorrow already .. are you?"

"No, we're not. We'll be staying for a couple of days," Fili smiled at the worry of departure in your voice.

"You're not getting rid of us that easy," Kili added with a grin and moved himself more up and closer to you, his face now halfly touching yours, hugging you tighter.

You chuckled at his words, "I better not," you added with a grin on your face, though blush spread across your cheeks once again because of how close Kili's face was to yours.

Fili stayed on his spot, his head resting on the spot on your chest next to your shoulder, listening to your heartbeats.

He could hear them speed up every time one of them would move closer or even speak. He found it curious, he didn't understand why it would do that, after all there's no way you'd feel the same as him, same as them.

See, the brothers talked after they took their kingdom back over and after things settled down. They've noticed each other's longing gazes whenever the situation would calm down or the conversation died out. They've noticed both of them were missing something, or rather someone. But, seeing they've both been in love with you they decided they would, with your blessing of course, either share or have neither of them be with you. Though the subject came hard to open and discuss once the three of you finally met again.

Fili quietly took your hand in his and held it gently, playing with with your fingers.

Your heart immediately picked up as your eyes shot a gaze towards the blonde dwarf, you gave him a warm smile, hiding the blush that was slowly spreading across your cheeks though the darkness of the room hid it well enough already.

Kili looked up between the two of you, and took your other hand in his, holding it to his chest and kissing the back of it sweetly.

Your gaze now fell at the brunette who was smiling at you already and your blush darkened and you smiled even brighter, snuggling into the two of them.

"Hey, y/n.." after a few moments of silence Kili suddenly spoke.

"Hmm?" you smiled at him, turning your attention to him.

"There's something we'd like to tell you.." Kili continued and Fili's eyes shot at him quickly, not expecting him to open the topic on the first day but also understanding that he can't not be with you for another minute because he feels the same.

"What is it?" you asked with a smile, hoping it's nothing bad.

"So uhmm… I-I don't know how to start but uhmm…" Kili started, now not being sure how to spill their hearts to you.

"When we took back Erebor w-we realized something uhmm-" Fili tried to help, "We don't know how you would feel about it but we have to ask-." You looked between them as they spoke, waiting patiently for the princes to gather up their courage and get to the point.

"Would it be alright if we courted you?" Kili finally blurted out, all three of you now sitting up half-way.

"Both of us, together-" he added with a hopeful smile spread on his handsome face.

You looked at the two in shock, eyes wide and words not leaving your throat. You couldn't believe this was happening.

"W-We know it's weird but.. but we both like you-" Fili started.

"Very much," Kili added.

"And we couldn't come to a decision so, if it would be alright with you-" Fili looked up at you, hopeful smile resting on his lips as well  as the question hanged in the air.

It took you a while to break out of your shock, eyes darting from one prince to the other. But after a few long and torturous moments your brain finally started working again and a quiet "Y-Yes-" left your lips through a breath.

"D-Did you say 'yes'?" Kili couldn't believe his ears.

"Y-You accept our courtship?" Fili questioned, disbelief residing within him as well.

Big smile made it's way on your lips and you nodded your head vigorously before throwing yourself onto the brothers squeezing them into a big and tight hug.

They cheered happily and quickly returned, stuffing their faces into your neck and chest, hugging just as tightly.

After very extensive hugging session the three of you laid back down, now snuggling even closer to each other, the two of them each holding one of your hands in theirs.

"I love you guys," you exhaled happily, snuggling further into the two princes, "I have been in love with you two since the journey as well."

That made their hearts melt a little knowing you felt the same as them, and what a relief it was too.

"We love you too," they replied in unison with warmth both in their voices and in the smiles spread across their lips, snuggling right back.

Your heart could explode from all the happiness it felt at that moment.

The happiness grew even stronger when Fili propped himself up on one of his elbows and leaned in placing a gentle but passionate kiss on your lips, followed by Kili who did the same with a big grin on his face. You gladly returned both, blushing like crazy. The two chuckled at your red cheeks and proceeded to kiss them, each the one on their side, before laying back down and throwing their arms around you.

The three of you laid there like that, snuggled against each other in the warmth of the bed and each other's embraces, all three of you slowly drifting off to sleep.

[buckyfeelings]

If You Came Back

pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

words: 1,823

warnings: guns, minor character death, vaginal sex, oral sex (f), kissing.

summary: western!au in which you rekindle an old relationship

a/n: this was intended to be a lot longer, but i’m quite tired & i also did not get a chance to double check this, so sorry if there are any typos/grammatical errors

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In an attempt to get away from the trio of angry bandits Bucky jumps off his galloping horse. He runs until his luck fails him, the bandits soon circle him.

One of the men dismounts their horse and makes his way to Barnes, gun in hand and aimed right as his chest. He sways the pistol - signaling Barnes to turn around so the man could take back the loot Barnes had stolen from them earlier.

His hand an inch away from Barnes’ figure until

BANG!

The man goes down causing the other two to clumsily look in different directions for the shooter.

BANG !

BANG !

All three of them are on the ground. Bucky hasn’t moved; still facing the exterior wall of what seemed to be the town’s saloon.

He hears footsteps.

Six to be exact.

Until there’s a pistol digging into his back.

‘’Where’s the loot Barnes.’’

He knows that voice.

Smiling to himself before spinning himself to face you. Your pistol now digging into his chest.

‘’Easy darling’’

His gruff voice catching you off guard, allowing him to place his hand upon the top of your pistol - slowly lowering it. It’s been a year since the two of you last saw each other, you had convinced yourself you were over him. But seeing him now, the sunlight giving his skin the perfect glow, his dark hair curling a bit at the ends and his beard, oh his beard.  

Cutting yourself off from those ‘unwanted’ thoughts you quickly shook Bucky’s hand off the pistol and shoved it into your holster.

‘’I just want the loot back, they took it from me.’’

‘’And who’d you take it from?’’

You give him a judging look, like he isn’t at all familiar with what you do. ‘’I’m kidding, I’m kidding’’

He raises his hands in the air and walks over to his horse who had hid in a small alleyway.

‘’You know, I was watching the whole thing. I saw them steal from you so I went after the bastards.’’

‘’You were watching?’’ Confused to say the least,  what was he doing out in the middle of nowhere? You had set up camp a couple days ago in the middle of the Mohave desert, what was he doing out there?

He doesn’t answer, doesn’t even look back at you but you can see his jaw clench as he silently unhooks the bag from his horse. Holding it out to you.

‘’Thank you Barnes’’

Clearly bothered by you calling him by his surname he lifts the bag higher so that it’s out of your reach.

‘’Come on darling. It hurts hearing you call me that.’’

You roll your eyes as you let out a effortless ‘’Thank you James.’’ You try to snatch the bag but Bucky raises his brow and lifts the bag higher.

‘’Oh you’re breaking my heart here Doll.’’

You yourself are starting to get tired of this so you decide to give him what he wants.

‘’Thank you Bucky.’’

And almost like a key opening a locked door he lowers the bag.

‘’There. Wasn’t so hard was it?’’

Y/N takes the bag from his hands, she opens it and lets out a sigh of relief when she sees what she had been praying would still be in there; a ring. A ring Bucky had given her to be exact.

He sees it too and suddenly he’s reminded of that one night he got down on his knees and offered her that very ring.  He can’t control what his heart is feeling right now all he knows is that he wants her back in his arms right now.

It felt like time had slowed down and finally returned to normal when she averted her gaze from the ring and to him. She sees the lust in his eyes, unable to handle all the emotion from him and from her own she closes the bag and turns to leave.

But his hand stops her.

‘’Wait’’

Y/N looks into Bucky’s eyes, she waits.

‘’Meet me here again, at the saloon, tonight.’’

And all you could do was nod.

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As the night approached all you could think about was how you had left him all those years ago.

It was a night like this, humid air with fulfilling breezes passing by once in a while. You were laying naked next to your beloved, staring at the ring on your finger - placed there only a couple hours ago. That ring has pulled you into a lull of questioning thoughts for the past half hour.

You had always thought you were better than a simple married life, sure it seemed nice but your lifestyle only allowed you to trust one person - yourself.

Could you trust Bucky? The two of you had been together for a year now, if he was listening to you now he’d practically tell you off.

But then you think.. Bucky’s certain about his love for you, but you’re not that sure about your love for him.

You love him yes, but would you be able to give him a family? No, the lifestyle of an outlaw couldn’t afford that. You got up from the mattress, dressed yourself and went to take your thoughts outdoors. Bucky still deep in his snoring slumber he hadn’t noticed that you had left.

Now, you stood at the double barrel doors of the saloon. You quickly shake off all nerves and second thoughts as you push through the doors. Bucky is sitting at the far end of the room, hat tilted down to hide his face and a pint in hand - looks like he’s been here for a while. There’s barely anyone in the room with him except for the bartender and the band. You make your way toward him, he lifts his hat so that it’s not covering his face anymore and gestures for you to sit.

‘’I’m glad you could make it’’ he says with actual joy and then signals the bartender for another drink. Once the drink arrives you’re both drowning in the mix of uncomfortable silence and the band’s ragtime song. The tension between the two of you is painful, it’s obvious one wants to speak to the other. Bucky decides to break the silence.

‘’Why did you leave?’’

The sentence is vague but you know exactly what he means. Sipping on your drink, you look down and then toward him, scared to speak. But he wants an answer ‘’Was it something I did, if it was I’m sorry’’

‘’No it wasn’t you. I was just. I was scared I couldn’t give you what you wanted. ’’

‘’What I wanted? Doll you’re everything I could ever ask for, what made you think you weren’t?’’ His face is full of concern, eyes big as he searches yours for an answer.  You pause for a second, until ‘’I thought if we got married you’d want more, settle down and have kids. I don’t think I’m made for that, my lifestyle isn’t right for that.’’ His hands move your hands from your drink and curl them into his, keeping his gaze locked on your eyes. ‘’Oh Darling, we live the same lifestyle. I love you and you know I won’t push you to anything you’re not ready for. You’re mine Y/N and I’m yours, I’m with you on this journey every step of the way kids or no kids.’’ his fingers brush over the ring on your finger. He looks at it and then back at you.

‘’I love you, never stopped. You still love me?’’

Hearing those words from his deep voice does something to your chest, an unexplainable yet warm feeling. There’s no other response to his question than to kiss him, which you do. Lips pressed together until you can taste the beer on his tongue.

He slowly backs away, hands on your cheeks, your eyes slowly fluttering open as he says to you ‘’I have a room upstairs.’’

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Stumbling on kisses as the both of you barely make it through the door. Your thighs hooked around Bucky’s waist as he places the both of you on the bed, lips only leaving each other to catch air.

Moving from your lips his mouth travels to your neck and then to your blouse as he lays passionate kisses, eyes never opening as he attempts to unbutton your shirt. His fingers keep slipping which causes the both of you to giggle as you get up to help him take your own shirt off. Once your breasts are freed Bucky stops giggling and his pupils glow with lust.

He dives down to attack your nipples causing you to moan with pleasure. His tongue slowly travels from your nipple and all the way down to your hips. Quickly getting rid of your pants and underwear, his mouth latched onto your other lips as if it was his god given purpose. You cried out in pleasure as his tongue licked up and down, in and out, faster and faster. His finger joined in and you were so close to release, your moans were like a melody to his ears and he wanted to hear you sing more. You were getting closer and closer until the coil in your stomach finally sprang and he licked the last of your juices.

‘’You don’t know how much I missed that.’’

You elevate your thigh a bit higher until it reaches his clothed hardened cock. ‘’I think i know.’’ He smiles as he sinks down to kiss you, practically grinding against your thigh. In the midst of moans and lip smacks you pull away. You’ve both barely said anything to each other, just letting your bodies do the talking. Even now he understands what you want. Staring at your face, he can practically hear those words ‘’I need you’’.

A silent nod as he frees himself and slowly enters you. You moaned out his name, begging for him to pick up the pace. His eyes are on you, he didn’t want to rush, he wanted to savor the moment. His lips are on yours again, in attempt to silent your pleas as his cock painfully thrusts in and out of your core. You whined as he started to pick up the pace, the feeling of your soft velvet-y walls tightening around his cock could’ve been enough to make him come. He could feel himself nearing as he whispered in your ear ‘’Cum for me darling’’ his deep low voice was enough to bring you to your release, him finishing right after you.

Still inside of you, Bucky scoops you into his arms and rolls into a much more comfortable position, bringing the sheets over the two of you, his arms around you, acting as an unbreakable shield. He whispers ‘’Promise you won’t leave this time.’’ Your mind still trying to recover from the two mind-blowing orgasms you just had, you whisper a faint ‘’promise.’’

[inlovewiththefictionalcharacters]

SECOND CHANCE

CHAPTER - 1 : GARDNER

Pairing: (Dark) Andy Barber x Reader.

Warning(s): Non-Con; Dub-con; Slow-burn(Maybe); Possible Defending Jacob spoilers; Possessiveness; Grief; Angst; Any other possible warnings will be added in the future chapters.

Summary: Follow Andy’s journey after the horrible accident that turned his whole world upside down.

*****

Series Masterlist

*****

Never in his life did Andy thought he’ll go through what he did. His whole family and himself going through Jacob’s trial is one thing, but Laurie intentionally trying to take their son’s life by crashing the car to the side of the tunnel is another. He can’t even imagine why on earth did she even think that her son is capable of murdering someone. Sure, Jacob did do a lot of weird stuff that are not normally done by other teenagers. But he believed his son was innocent. And while his son was in coma, attached to IV’s, the woman who put his life in danger came out sustaining minimal injuries.

The events following that are even more ridiculous. No matter what Andy did, she always doubted him. He thought that he deserved it. After all, he did hid about his father from her and would have probably never told her about it if it wasn’t for Jacob’s trial. Andy was fine with her maintaining some distance from him after every thing that happened. After all, the distance was there between them and kept increasing during the trial. And then there was a lot of secrecy that confused him. They never maintained any secrets between them, well apart from Andy not telling her about his father. That really confused him. But what he couldn’t stand was the unbelievable hatred she’s got for Jacob and it kept growing each day. First, it was just her avoiding to look at any of Jacob’s pictures or things. He chalked it up to her feeling guilty about the accident. But then there was her literally just removing all the things that had any connection to Jacob and piling it up to one a corner in the room that those things were in. He didn’t understand why she did that. Not until one day he couldn’t find those things in those rooms anywhere and found them in trash, just as he found the baby pictures of Jacob in the trash can right before the car crash happened. And when he brought those things back inside their home and confronted Laurie about it, she just screamed at him, kept yelling at him that she didn’t want to see them anymore. It was during that time when she literally told him that she hates Jacob. Her own son. That she regrets giving birth to him and should have gotten rid of him like her friends told her to when Jacob was conceived. 

He can’t even fathom how a mother could hate her own son. And then she went on blaming Andy for everything that happened in their life. He tried taking her to therapy and even went to couples therapy with her, hoping to reduce the distance between them, but soon realized that nothing can fix things between them. Andy soon found out that one of the main reasons for the growing reasons between him and Laurie was the affair that Laurie’s been having  with some dude that kept visiting Newton frequently. He definitely didn’t peg Laurie for the cheating type, but oh well. 

But the final nail in the coffin was when Laurie tried to kill Jacob, again. He was visiting Jacob that day and Laurie insisted that she’ll tag along with him. Andy wasn’t up for it, but Laurie was persistent. Andy caved in and took her with him to the hospital. While Andy actually spent some time with Jacob in the unit, Laurie just stood outside the room, not even bothering to come. Then Andy went to talk to the doctor in-charge of Jacob’s treatment to check on the progress of Jacob’s health. When he returned, the sight in front of him chilled him to his bones. Jacob has his eyes closed and was struggling to breathe, his chest was moving frantically while Laurie just stared at him holding the oxygen mask he was wearing earlier, away from him.

“What are you doing?!” Andy growled at her, storming inside towards her while Laurie jumped and looked at him with wide eyes.

Hearing him, a nurse and doctor rushed in and helped Jacob breathe again and checked his vitals while Andy grabbed Laurie’s arm and dragged her away from his son. That was the final nail in the coffin. With some help from his previous employer, since he was still in her good books, Andy drew out a restraining order against Laurie for Jacob and also signed the divorce papers, also stating that he wanted to get full custody of Jacob. He had stayed in Newton till the divorce was finalized and also got full custody of Jacob since Laurie wanted to do nothing to do with the kid which made it easier. The house was sold too and he didn’t bother packing anything that Laurie had any input on. He just packed all of his stuff and Jacob’s sold some stuff and then gave some to charity and then moved to a place where all the ruckus and the media circus was far less. He wanted to live in peace and hopefully, Jacob will heal in time. He hoped that Jacob will be all good and healed in no time but the progress on his part is way less.

*****

It was another day spent working in the little bakery that Y/N owned. Y/N was truly lucky to find Gardner of all places to settle down for now. And she was even more lucky to find this gem of a bakery that was on sale. She literally placed almost all of her savings on it and didn’t regret it one bit about it in the past 3 years. The sales were good and the staff of 4 that worked in shifts were also good and understanding, never making a mess about things. They were like her second family and were there for her when things got a bit overwhelming. She hated dumping her stuff on them but they lived in a community and most were practically a few streets down from where she lived. 

It was a few minutes past 3 in the afternoon and Y/N looked at her watch and cussed.

“Damn, I’m getting late today...” she muttered and looked up at the older woman who was one of the staff.

“Agatha, could you mind taking over for today? Charlotte is closing today and I have to go... I made a promise...” Y/N started and the older woman just her off.

“Just go on child. Don’t worry. Char and I will look over the place. You stay safe on your way” she told her.

Y/N smiled gratefully at her, grabbed her purse and dashed outside. 

By the time she reached home, she sighed in relief and jogged towards the threshold, unlocked the door and walked inside, closing the door behind her. Walking into the living room, a smile broke on her face at the sight in front of her.

“MAMA!” a voice yelled enthusiastically upon her entering the living room.

Y/N crouched down as the toddler ran towards her as quickly as her little feet can take her and she wrapped her arms arounds Y/N’s neck.

“Hi baby!” Y/N cooed as she pressed kisses on the hair and forehead of the little toddler.

“Hi mama! I vuv you!” the little being said.

Y/N’s gaze then landed on Elie who was babysitting her little girl and smiled at her which was returned. The teenager has also been a savior babysitting the little girl whenever Y/N asked her too.

Y/N then looked at Ada, her little girl and told her “Baby, why don’t you go and get your things while mommy speaks to Elie?”

Ada nodded her head and quickly dashed towards the huge box of toys that she has. Y/N then looked at Elie and sighed.

“God, Elie. You are literally my savior, have I ever told you that?” she asked.

Elie grinned and replied “I think you might have mentioned it a time or two, but meh. Ada is the sweetest, and the most easiest to deal with. And I love hanging out with her.”

Y/N smiled gratefully. She still couldn’t understand how she got this much lucky with everything. She then pulled out thirty dollars out of her purse and handed them to Elie, who took them and bid goodbye for the day. Just then Ada ran towards her, with a few of her stuffies.

“Mama! Tea pawty!” Ada yelled enthusiastically. 

Y/N chuckled and grabbed a blanket along with a few of Ada’s stuff for the tea party with her stuffies and the two of them walked outside towards the tiny lawn they had. After setting all the things down, she sat down with Ada and was busy playing with her when the movement of a truck got her attention which was following a sleek black Audi that stopped in front of the house beside theirs. It used to be empty, but Y/N heard from Mrs. Williams that the previous owners have finally sold it to someone, but Mrs. Williams didn’t know any details about the new owner. 

Y/N saw the the truck stop behind the car and the packers and movers immediately opened the back of the truck, carefully moving all the stuff out and to the inside of the house while a guy got out of the car and lead them inside. From what she could see, he’s tall and got dark hair. While Y/N was looking at all the movement that was happening, little Ada’s gaze was transfixed at the sleek black Audi. The little girl, according to Y/N has an unhealthy obsession with cars, way more obsession that what a normal toddler has. 

“Look, mama! Carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” Ada said, prolonging the R, making Y/N look at her and giggle. 

She could literally see Ada’s eyes glowing while staring at the car and Y/N shook her head in amusement. Unbeknownst to them, the owner of the said car suddenly turned his attention towards his new neighbors and caught the cute little girl’s gaze on his car and a small smile grazed his lips.

[megakimathi]

Headcanon fanfiction merformer cryptid Rung/reader

@auntabysmal

1 PART (I divided  fic into parts)

- The reader is a fem human

- I leave the city names blank so you can imagine the meeting places for yourself.

----

Their first meeting and acquaintance took place on the shore (Name of the resort town).

The LL pod stopped in this city, and so far they had been here for three days. There is always room at the Aquatic Research and Rescue Center for the mers, and most of them sailed there to rest, only sending their holoforms there to scout out a human settlement. The rest settled on the beach area reserved for them, immediately finding various caves and flat low rocks and settling there.

Rung, who was in the rest of the group, crawled almost halfway out of the water onto dry land, with a caught fish in his teeth. He was going to have a good rest and lunch. The sun was warming his long orange and white body, and his tail was still in the water, just in case the wind was too dry - he could easily splash water into himself with his tail.

- FISH!

The merformer had finished his meal before he heard someone else's scream. Licking the remains off myself of his lunch, Rung looked around, thinking someone was asking for his prey, and saw nearby a human, looking right at him.

As he approached, it turned out to be a land puppy. The human puppy waved cheerfully at him with his little hand and was already walking toward him. Rung himself was in no hurry to leave the warm place, watching the child, only waving his palm back excitedly and uncertainly. In a way, his invisibility could ironically be called avoidance of the land people, while the rest of his congeners leave their places so that no one will bother them.

Of all possible human beings, he can be seen by children. He still couldn't get used to it.

- Hello big mermaid, what are you doing here?

The child stood beside me, looking at Rung with a smile. Like all human children, his gaze did not linger long on someone else's physical form, immediately looking around, sitting down next to the unknown creature. The toddler held a bucket in his hands, immediately taking to building sand castles. He was in his home clothes and had not yet changed into his little bathing suit. He had a panama hat on his head.

- What's a human puppy doing in "mermaid territory"? You're not allowed in here, are you? I don't know if your parents will scold you. Maybe they're already looking for you

Rung did not correct the child, playing along with him on the first word. The cryptid merformer lay his chest on the sand, so as not to tower over the little man too much, and show his peacefulness. Why are children always drawn to him?

The child squeaked resentfully, grabbed his panama and patted Rung's arm with it. Would have hit the creature with the bucket, but didn't want to ruin the sand mound, the merformer himself, chuckling quietly, found the fluffy hair braided into cute pigtails.

- I am not a puppy!!! I am a human being!!! My name is Y/N. My mom knows where I went...I guess.

The little girl showed him her tongue, aghast as the wind snatched the panama out of her fingers. Rung managed to grab the flying little hat in time to return it to the child. Y/N was visibly embarrassed and hid her face in it.

Rung smiles at the child's emotions and introduces himself in return. He hadn't planned on meeting people in any way, of course, but even this interaction was pleasant. He asks permission to touch her hair, and after her affirmative answer, he lowers his head further and pokes his nose lightly into her small shoulder while his large hand, compared to hers, touches the fluffy plaits. Human hair really is unusual to the touch.

After a moment, he feels a reciprocal touch, against his face. He looks at the girl - her eyes wide open, she doesn't look away from him, her hands touching his glasses, going down to his cheeks stroking them. Rung lets out a rumbling sound under the human happy smile, and swishes his tail to splash some water on his body. A couple of drops hit the Y/N, but she doesn't resent it

****

When two voices call out Y/N's name, a little girl sits on the sand and builds sandcastles under Rung supervision. They both turn at the sound, and the little girl gets up from the sand with a sigh, appraising her creation. She waves to the two human behind the merformer territory line, and they spot her, look around, and walk toward her across the strange stretch of beach.

- Will we meet again, Mr. Rung?

The Merformer meets a naïve look, to which he only smiles, shrugging uncertainly. He doesn't know the answer himself; he won't tell her it's all down to her memory. But the little man seemed pleased with that answer anyway.

He watches as the family gathers, the adults looking through him as usual as the child tells them about the "new friend of Rung" and points in his direction. Parents only sigh, gently scolding the child for entering someone else's territory, where people should not be.

When they leave, Rung returns in the water to hunt again.

The second time they crossed paths (Name of Town).

Several people gathered on the high pier because they saw dolphins swimming by. But they especially made delighted noises when they spotted the merformers.

The humans were smart enough not to jump in the water to the sea creatures, who decided to look at them themselves. But the sea creatures were close enough, and it was as if they were flaunting themselves in front of the crowd on purpose. Merformers usually avoid humans, but that's until the creatures decide to communicate themselves.

Rung looked out of the water to see the whole circus. Rodimus, as always, attracted attention by the way he splashed in the water. The rest of the merformers swam quietly at a good distance from the humans, and from him, So they don't get hit by his tail.

- The merformers are so cool! Y/N, come here and look at them!

Ears fins Rung twitched as he heard the rather familiar name. Adjusting his glasses, the cryptid-merformer carefully looks at the pier and sees two young men, one of whom called out to a rather familiar girl. He swam closer, looked closer, and saw a pendant hanging around the human neck. He recognized it immediately. Y/N hasn't gotten rid of it after all these years.

He looked at her more closely and realized that she had grown up and was not at all like the child who had kept him company for so many days, a few years ago. Except now she couldn't see him anymore.

Her wandering, curious gaze fell on him, and Rung had a blind hope that she would be able to see him. No, her eyes and brain can't recognize and distinguish Rung's figure, so she was immediately distracted by something else.

The girl herself was twirling the pendant in her fingers, looking curiously at the Merformers. Her eyes kept falling on the object in her hands, Y/N frowned as if trying to remember something. Something seemed vaguely familiar to her.

Her thoughts are interrupted when Rodimus finishes his games and calls his crew to continue their journey. The people look at the merformers for a little while longer, and leave the dock to go about their business.

Rung watches as Y/N hides in the crowd with his friend, and then catches up with his pod himself.

Their second meeting is over before it begins.

[codename-adler]

foxes + onesies (7/9)

based off of that one post i saw and don’t remember, where people once caught Allison wandering around Fox Tower in a giraffe onesie, and i absolutely melted for her. here is the Foxes’ journey to getting a onesie each!

Andrew

TW: mentions/implications of sexual abuse

Andrew does not get a onesie

instead, he watches Lilo & Stitch, alone, in his bed, on his laptop

the first time he saw the movie, it was in theaters

he was 4 or 5, maybe

it was with one of his first foster families, who cared for three other foster kids, all around Andrew’s age: Claire, Kelly and Ben

sometimes he wonders where they are now, but he doesn’t care: it’s just a fleeting thought

Lilo & Stitch marked him for life

something about Nani and Lilo’s relationship, something about family struck him deep

something about it broke his little heart, and he never recovered

and yeah, the aliens were pretty cool too

but Andrew never said anything about it to anyone

except for the year before he turned seven

he was still with the same foster family that had brought him to the movies

for Christmas, instead of asking for the usual necessities like clothes or the very unnecessary candies… Andrew asked for Lilo & Stitch

and he got it

he got the brand new VHS

he kept it under his pillow for a few months, untouched, unopened

at night, he would run his little fingers along the edges of the box, and play the movie in his head

because yes, in one viewing, Andrew had memorized the entire movie and could now remember it scene by scene, eyes closed

Lilo & Stitch was one of the first things he actively committed to his memory

Andrew only put the VHS on when the other kids were out of the house

which, didn’t happen a lot

he watched it maybe three or four times before moving into another foster family

Andrew didn’t care that he left this one, as long as he could keep Lilo & Stitch

the next few foster homes he moved into were packed with kids

like, 8 kids and counting

all his foster parents were either greedy, exhausted, overworked or deeply uncaring

by the time he was 7, Andrew had rewatched his VHS less than five times

he was always so careful with it, he never let anyone touch it, and he often threw hands with whoever dared lay a hand on it

which is part of why, by the time he was 7, Andrew had been through 4 more foster homes

he remembers the night he lost his VHS, though

and he remembers exactly where he left it

he was in a home with 9 other kids ranging from 7 months to 13 years old

the foster mother was a lazy woman, but very stressed out and impatient

the 7-months-old that had just joined them 2 weeks ago was giving everyone migraines

one night, the woman couldn’t take it anymore; she had to get rid of some kids

but instead of calling child services to take away the baby, she told them to come pick up “three cases”

Andrew knew he was one of them, somehow

he slipped out the backdoor and into the garden

he dug a hole in the far back, with his bare hands

he buried Lilo & Stitch right there and then

he slipped into the house again, unnoticed

he washed his hands of the cold, wet, black dirt without a second thought

child services came that night and left with Andrew and the other two oldest kids

Andrew didn’t care, he just thought that the woman was stupid

Andrew wasn’t fun, wasn’t cute, wasn’t nice

but at least he didn’t talk, didn’t cry, took care of himself

after that home, he was transferred to a new one, where he was alone

a middle-aged couple took him in, Sandra and Harvey Whittaker

it was that home

Andrew was glad his VHS never touched a thing from that dirty house

the rest, as they say, was history

Andrew never saw the movie again

he never once closed his eyes to recall every minute of Lilo and Stitch’s adventures, never uttered a word about it, never even glanced at anything resembling a blue little alien or a red hawaiian pattern

until Palmetto

it was totally by accident

Andrew had gone on his usual convenience store runs to buy ice cream

(he was thinking bubble gum or peanut butter rocky road)

and right there, next to the register, a DVD stand

with all the Fast & Furious, the Marvel movies, Stuart Little…

and Lilo & Stitch

Andrew bought it on a whim

he went back to his dorms with his movie and his pints of ice cream, and locked himself in his room

he put it on his laptop, and watched

it was still the same

it was still good

it was still Lilo, and Stitch, and Nani

(David was, well, quite good-looking now, though)

(but why did he have to be called David? that was Wymack’s name, it was an ugly name, a boner-killing name. why.)

as the credits rolled, Andrew removed the DVD from his laptop, put in back into its box and hid it in his desk

Andrew went on with his life as if nothing had happened

but that wasn’t… nothing

and so now, in present-day Fox Tower, the Foxes had got it into their heads to make one Neil Josten watch the Disney classics

mind you, Neil didn’t care at all

action movies or intense movies could keep his attention long enough, but “baby movies”, as he called them, did nothing for him

but these Disney nights served as bonding time for the Foxes, and Neil could sneak a nap in the back of the room while Andrew played with his hair

however, one night, when Matt had suggested they watch Lilo & Stitch next, Andrew had left the room without a word

which, not unusual per se, but Neil could tell it didn’t mean nothing

he didn’t follow Andrew, nobody did, but Neil waited until half the movie to go looking for him

he found him in his room, in his bed, his laptop illuminating his face

Neil went to stand at the end of the bed

Neil: Yes or no?

Andrew: …Yes.

Neil got into Andrew’s bed and laid down beside Andrew, face smushed into the pillows, a foot of space between their bodies

Neil angled his head backwards to glimpse at the screen

and right there

Lilo & Stitch

Neil looked up at Andrew, then back at the screen, then again at Andrew

he didn’t smile

he didn’t tease

he didn’t move

he didn’t say a word

he just looked at Andrew, and looked, and looked and looked and looked…

Andrew: Staring.

Neil stopped, then, and curled himself on his side, eyes trained on the screen

Andrew removed his earbuds, lowered the volume of his laptop and put on the subtitles for Neil, because he knew that would give him something more to focus on

they watched the whole movie together

Neil stayed awake

Andrew stayed put

Neil stayed

Andrew stayed

it’s a month later, when Neil comes back from class and checks their P.O. box

it’s there

he goes up to the girls’ dorm and asks Renee for her Post-Its

he then goes back to his dorm, where Andrew is sitting on his bed, with his laptop

Neil simply chucks him the package but doesn’t wait for Andrew’s reaction

on the plastic bag, a single orange Post-It with Neil’s terrible handwriting

Ohana

Andrew knows what it is

he’s seen the others

with their ugly-ass wannabe pajamas

he rips the plastic open nonetheless, because it’s a package, it demands to be opened

and yeah, it is what he knew it was

an oversized, velvety blue onesie

it’s Stitch

it grants Neil a 399%

so, maybe Andrew wears it, maybe he doesn’t

because he didn’t want a onesie

and, technically, Andrew did not get a onesie

but Neil did

yet, Andrew keeps it, and the Post-It

because maybe he did want a onesie

because it’s Stitch

because it’s from Neil

because Ohana

[meesa-hoe]

An Angel In Beskar

Pairing: Din Djarin x Fem!Reader x Paz Vizsla

Summary: Two Mandalorians find you near death in the middle of a desert on Tatooine and while you’re quick to warm up to the one in the mismatched blue armor, his silver companion is much colder towards you.

Rating: M but later chapters will probably be rated E for sexual content.

Word Count: 4,500

Warnings: Descriptions of hopelessness, violence, trauma, and minor injuries.

Author’s Note: Hey everyone! I’ve been working on this for a while and finally decided to post it here since I noticed there’s not a whole lot of Paz x Reader x Din stories and I absolutely love the ones that I have read. I’m hoping to have the next chapter up in the next week!

There is an established relationship between Paz and Din prior to them finding the reader.

‘May the Maker have mercy on my soul.’

There’s no point in you praying when you’re certain death is about to wrap it’s cold arms around your weak body. After traveling through the unforgiving Tatooine desert for days without water, your body is beginning to shut down and you fear that this will be your last night spent alive on such a cruel planet. Your thin dress and the scarf you had used to cover your face in an attempt to protect yourself from the scorching hot suns is your only source of warmth as you lifelessly lay on the sand and you wonder how long it will take for you to be buried deep underneath the soft granules.

You will soon end up like the ones who had perished in your village after it had been brutally attacked by bandits and raiders just days ago. Though you had barely escaped in one piece, you suddenly wished you had stayed so you could have at least had a quicker death, rather than slowly dying in the middle of nowhere. You had been foolish to think there would be another village nearby and tears finally trickle down your cheeks as you peer up at the moon, an intense feeling of despair seeping all the way down to your heart.

You miss your family.

The silence that surrounds you only makes you sob harder, loneliness eating away at you as you simply long for your family. Despite not living a luxurious life in the tiny village, it never diminished the love you had for the ones close to you. The images play on a loop in your mind--bodies covered in blood and lifeless eyes staring into your soul as you hid from the bandits--and you finally allow the physical and emotional pain to consume you.

In a way, it’s cathartic to let it all out without others being around to judge you, though it also has you longing for a comforting touch, whether that be a firm hug or someone just holding your hand. You’re reminded of the way your parents would comfort you and your siblings when you were younger, their voices always like soothing, cold water during the hottest days of summer and it only has you crying harder.

Once it feels like you can’t cry anymore and you’ve accepted your fate, you rest for the final time.

Hours pass--at least you think that as you barely cling onto life.

You don’t even realize you’re not dead until a quiet, filtered rasp manages to break through the darkness and silence that surrounds you, though your eyelids feel like they weigh a thousand pounds and are nearly impossible to crack open. It’s morning now, or maybe even the afternoon, judging by the way the suns ruthlessly beat down on you.

“How did she manage to get all of the way out here?” That hushed, soothing voice sounds a little further away and you wonder who he’s talking to until two leather digits press against the pulse on your neck. “The nearest village is days away on foot,” The person taking your pulse simply grunts in response and you finally manage to pry your eyes open when your curiosity threatens to overwhelm you. 

Who would be insane enough to trek through a desert on Tatooine?

Your vision is blurred, black dots floating around as you blink several times before it finally clears.

Instantly, you’re face to face with a t-shaped visor and--

A Mandalorian! 

Not just one, but two.

You think the lack of water and the intense heat has you hallucinating.

You had grown up hearing stories of the warriors, your oldest brother telling you how they were the strongest beings in the galaxy and typically not cruel to strangers who were innocent. There had been rumors of one living on Tatooine and as a little girl, you remember praying to the Maker that they would show up and rid your village of all the bandits that would terrorize your family and neighbors.

Even the Gods don’t want anything to do with Tatooine.

If you weren’t so exhausted and weak, you could have cried from relief and begged the two Mandalorians in front of you to save you, though your throat is far too dry and your mouth feels like cotton.

“What are you doing all the way out here, little one?” The blue Mando closest to you questions when he realizes you’re awake and you find that his voice is far more rough and brusque than his companion’s, though it’s not unpleasant in the slightest. After going days with nothing but your own thoughts to keep you company, you’re just happy and relieved to not be be alone

“P-Please... Help,” You manage to speak in a hoarse plea, tears spilling from your eyes as you clutch at the material covering the warrior’s ribs as tightly as you can, afraid that he’s simply going to stand up and leave you there to die. The way he leans in a little closer instantly fills you with hope and even though your face is mostly covered, you pray that he can see the desperation in your eyes and that he’s able to sympathize with you.

“It’s okay, you’re safe now.”

He’s massive and wears scuffed up, dull blue and yellow armor that you think has seen several battles since it was forged; he’s all mismatched and terrifying, but in that moment, you see him as some sort of Beskar angel.

His armor looks far more worn than his companion’s as you lift your gaze to peer at him, though it only has you squinting your eyes in pain as the impossibly bright suns reflect off of the silver Beskar and you simply let your eyelids slip shut once again. You feel a hand touch the thick cloth that covers your cheekbone, your Beskar angel letting out a low hum as he assesses your injuries as much as he can with all of the fabric in the way.

“What are you doing?” The silver warrior questions, his tone now cold and your heart instantly shatters when he continues, “We don’t even know who she is and you want to bring her with us?”

“We can’t just leave her out here to die,” The Mandalorian crouched down next to you doesn’t hesitate to admonish him, his voice filled with sympathy and conviction, “The ship isn’t too far from here and I don’t mind carrying her. Who knows how long she’s been walking through this desert on foot.”

“We can’t just take in every stray you stumble upon. Besides, we don’t know her--what if she’s just another criminal? Tatooine is filled with scum.”

“Look at her!” The blue warrior instantly snaps, his voice tinged with anger towards his companion and you nearly cry upon realizing he’s willing to fight for your survival, “She’s so weak that she can’t even keep her eyes open and she looks injured. Who’s to say she wasn’t running away from a bad situation? Besides, if she does try anything, do you think she could really get the upper hand on two Mandalorians in her condition? She doesn’t even have a single weapon on her!”

You hear an exasperated sigh and before the shiny Mando can put up anymore of a fight, you feel clunky Beskar sliding under your knees while his other arm winds around your shoulders, bringing you off of the hot sand with ease. If your mind wasn’t so hazy, you would have marveled at his sheer strength, but you feel your body relax against his Beskar that has been warmed from the suns.

“If she tries anything, I’m putting her in carbonite.”

Instead of praying to the Maker for mercy like you had hours ago, you find yourself praying that the stories your brother had told you of Mandalorian are true and that these two strangers don’t have cruel intentions with you. The blue one carrying you seems nice enough, but the silver Mando with the quiet voice still has you on edge and you immediately tense up at the thought of essentially being frozen.

“You don’t have any slabs left available because you’re an impatient di’kut,” The blue warrior reminds him, sounding more amused than agitated and you hear a hint of fondness in his gruff voice, “Let’s just get her back to the ship and we’ll find out what happened to her.”

“Fine, but I’m putting the cuffs on her.”

The one carrying you is quick to shoot down that idea, “Unless you want me to give you a concussion, you’re not putting cuffs on her.”

Using all of your strength, you manage to curl your arms around your savior’s neck, your fingers pressing into the soft fabric covering his nape as you whisper out a meek ‘thank you’. It hurts your dry throat but you hope he can detect the genuine gratitude in your hoarse voice, tears filling your eyes as they crack open to peer at the silver Mando who’s trailing behind your savior.

His tilted visor is trained solely on your face, despite the fact that most of your features are covered by your white scarf and you can tell he’s still wary about your presence. For a moment, he fiddles with his cuffs before giving up with a tired sigh and you let your eyelids slip shut when you realize he’s no going to restrain you.

“Shh, little one,” The Mando carrying you intones, his rough voice soothing the ache in your heart as you sniffle, tears soaking your scarf, “It is safe to rest your eyes now. Once we get back to the ship, we’ll get some water and food in your belly again.”

That’s all he has to say for you to slump against his cuirass before you’re being tugged back into unconsciousness once again. You’re in and out of it for most of the journey and every single time you manage to pry your eyes open, the silver Mandalorian’s visor is fixated on you, putting you even more on edge until you fall back asleep again. Even with his gauntlets digging into your knees and shoulders, you find comfort in knowing that you have the protection of at least one Mandalorian and it’s the only thing that lets you rest as peacefully as your hectic mind will allow.

The next time you regain consciousness, it’s to the sounds of the warriors conversing with one another in hushed tones, perhaps in an attempt to not wake you up.

“Do you think it’s okay to take off her face coverings?” Your savior sounds hesitant as fingers graze along the material covering your jaw and something about it is endearing, “What if she has it on for a reason?”

He thinks your culture is similar to his--that you have to keep your identity concealed just like a Mandalorian--and if you weren’t so exhausted and in so much pain, you would have found this amusing. “Not everyone who covers their face does it because they’re sworn to a creed,” The silver Mando sounds just as entertained as you are, the terseness from earlier no longer lingering in his filtered rasp and when you finally open your eyes, you’re surprised to find how relaxed he appears as he sits on a crate adjacent from the cot you are laying on.

Your savior has his back to you as he stares at his companion, “I just don’t want to invade her privacy.”

“She’s probably wearing it to protect her skin from the suns.”

“You think so?”

“Ask her yourself.”

The blue warrior instantly turns to you, his visor tilted to the side as you stare back up at him with wide eyes, suddenly feeling sheepish and shy. Slowly, you manage to sit up on the cot with a pained whimper and reach up to remove your white scarf that is stained with splotches of blood. As soon as the cold air cycling through the ship kisses your warm cheeks, you let your eyelids slip shut with a relieved sigh, the stained fabric that had protected you from the unforgiving suns falling to the metal floor next to your feet.

“You must be thirsty,” The blue Mandalorian’s rough voice has you opening your eyes and you nearly let out with a loud gasp when he offers you his canteen, “Here.”

The water could have been tainted with poison and you wouldn’t have even noticed as you chugged the cold liquid, a few tears escaping your eyes at the immense relief that instantly floods you after going days without a drop of liquid. “What is your name?” He inquires once you’ve sadly finished off all the water, though the one in silver approaches the two of you and retrieves the leather canteen, wandering off to perhaps refill it.

You hesitate to give the stranger an answer, especially after all you’ve been through these past few rotations, but you think if he wanted to hurt you, he would have done it by now and you eventually whisper your name after a pregnant pause. His visor tilts further to the side as you stare at his scuffed up cuirass rather than his helmet, tears filling your eyes when he asks how you ended up in the desert.

“It is okay, little one,” He soothes your pain with that gruff voice as he towers over you, “You’re safe now.”

“M-My village, it--” The blue warrior places a heavy hand on your shoulder as the terrifying memories of your home being burned to the ground play on repeat in your head and something about his firm touch is incredibly comforting, “The raiders they… They killed everyone and burned down all the buildings. My whole f-family--”

You don’t realize the shiny Mandalorian is within earshot until he says something in a foreign language that you don’t recognize, though you think he must have asked about you when your savior repeats your name in a terse voice, along with a few other words. 

“Dank farrik,” The smaller of the two sighs before angrily shoving the canteen into your hands and they continue to speak in their mother tongue, sounding as though they’re arguing.

“D-Did I do something wrong?” You meekly question them after you take several swigs of the cold water, tears still drying on your cheeks as they both gaze at you long enough to cause your nerves to spike even more. Anxiously, you pluck at the loose threads on the hem of your skirts, feeling anxious underneath the intense stares of such strong warriors when you feel the weakest you ever have in your life. The blue warrior angrily shakes his scuffed up helmet before hastily stomping off of the small ship, leaving you alone with the silver, brooding Mandalorian that seems far more awkward around you than his companion.

The ruddy, orange tips of his leather gloves curl against his sides as he silently regards you for a few more moments. 

“Come with me,” He eventually orders with a slight tilt of his helmet, urging you to follow him as you scramble to your bare feet to obey his gentle command. He leads you to the hull of the ship and you nearly cower away from him as he leads you through a small walkway that’s lined with several slabs of carbonite, afraid that you’ve done something wrong. With the blue Mandalorian gone, your mind runs rampant of all the horrible things this stranger can do to you and your gaze lifts to the huge rifle strapped to his back.

You freeze as you wonder how many people he’s killed with it, or if he prefers to use the smaller blaster holstered against his hip.

Upon noticing that you’re not following him, he turns to face you.

“I’m... I’m not going to hurt you,” He quietly promises when he notices your hesitation, his visor lingering on you as you eventually trail right behind him again, still clutching the leather canteen between your clammy palms, “I just want to see if you recognize someone.”

The stranger comes to a stop in front of one of the slabs of carbonite and confusion floods you as he gestures to it like one would offer a prize, though fear and horror immediately has your heart in a frenzy when you recognize the Zabrak frozen in time.

He had been among the many that had terrorized your village for so long.

“W-What is he doing here?!”

“He’s the leader of the group of bandits that burned down your village and he is also a quarry of ours,” He quietly explains in an oddly gentle voice, watching as the canteen slips from your palms and onto the floor of the ship, “We managed to track him down the day after the attack. I am... sorry we were too late.” 

The shiny Mandalorian holds a hand up in an attempt to calm you as panic tugs at your heart to the point where it’s difficult to breathe properly and you quickly back away from the hunter, fleeing further into the ship until you manage to find the refresher. You’re grateful there’s a lock on the door as you sink to the floor, the hunter’s voice calling out to you on the other side of the door, though there’s a sharp ringing noise blaring in your ears that makes it damn near impossible to hear even your own thoughts.

The Mandalorian eventually gives up on trying to get you to exit the refresher and leaves with a defeated sigh. You’re shaking with fear as you keep reminding yourself that the you’re on the same ship with the cruel monster that orchestrated the attack on your little village.

That Zabrak is the reason why your entire family was slaughtered.

And he’s on the same ship with you.

You sit there in solitude for quite some time, listening to the two Mandalorians as they quietly talk to one another in the hull of the ship. The larger of the two must have a naturally loud voice and you can’t stop yourself from smiling when his silver companion occasionally shushes him when he speaks your name. It sounds like they might be arguing about something and you hope it’s not about you, but judging by the irritation in both of their voices, you’re certain they’re trying to figure out what to do with you.

Especially now that you have no home to go back to.

A deep sigh pushes past your lips you as you finally stand, the warriors’ argument ceasing when you move to the sink and turn the water on to splash some of the cool liquid on your face. The stark contrast between the cold water compared to the sonic shower in your home is lovely and cathartic after having gone so long with only ever really having warm water.

There’s a firm knock on the door, the blue warrior calmly reciting your name in an effort to get you to come out, “It’s okay, I just want to talk with you.” 

Dread floods your frantic heart as you dry your face off with the sleeve of your dress before hesitantly cracking the door open to stare at his scuffed up cuirass, too afraid that if you look at his helmet, you’ll only breakdown again.

“I am sorry for your losses, little one,” The Mandalorian sighs, holding his hand out for you to take in a friendly gesture that has you opening the door all the way. “I know all too well the grief of losing loved ones,” You take hold of his hand and he immediately strokes a firm thumb along your knuckles, the foreign touch comforting as he guides you out of the refresher and to one of the crates so you can sit down.

“Are...” You hesitate as you finally peer up at his tilted visor, fear wrapping around you like a vice, “Are you two going to leave me here?”

A sigh escapes him and your eyes widen when he rests a leather palm on the side of your neck, his thumb grazing along your jaw as he takes in your appearance for several moments. Though you’ve only been in the presence of the two warriors for a couple hours, you realize just how different their personalities are. Your Beskar-clad angel is massive, loud, and rough around the edges, yet somehow so gentle around you, while the silver warrior is placid, quiet, and constantly brooding, wanting nothing to do with you. 

You can’t help but to wonder what their relationship to one another is, if they’re simply close friends or something more, given how they’re simultaneously comfortable and dysfunctional around each other.

“No, we’re not just going to leave you in the middle of nowhere,” He sounds oddly sad as he pulls you from your thoughts, his voice the quietest you’ve heard from him so far, “We can either drop you off somewhere safer or you can stay with us for a little while and help out with certain things on the ship.”

You don’t hear the silver Mandalorian descending from the cockpit, his visor on the two of you as shock courses through you. “Y-You would let me stay?” His fingers twitch against your neck upon hearing the way your voice shakes, your eyes burning at the kindness he’s displaying, “But... I don’t think the other Mandalorian really wants me here. He doesn’t trust me.”

His blue pauldrons slump and you resist the urge to reach out and trace a silver indentation on the worn armor, “It’s not that he doesn’t trust you, we’re just not used to being around people who don’t want to kill us.”

You contemplate his words thoroughly as his thumb continues to stroke your jawline and after going several days without anyone to talk to or share your fear with, the touch is a warm welcome. “Well, after everything that happened to my village, I don’t think I have it in me to hurt anyone, let alone kill,” Your own shoulders slump, eyelids slipping shut as you remember how scared you had been as you hid yourself from the bandits underneath a pile of bloody, lifeless bodies.

You don’t realize you’re shaking until the silver Mandalorian makes his presence known by softly saying a word in what you think is their mother tongue, instantly earning his companion’s unwavering attention.

“Vizsla.”

You quickly pull away and wipe the tears from your flushed cheeks, a heavy hand lingering on your shoulder as the quiet Mandalorian speaks in that gentle rasp that sounds softer than usual and you feel bashful when his visor lowers to regard you. 

“I set the coordinates for the next stop,” He appears awkward as his fingers flex against his thighs, his visor still fixated on you as he offers you a sharp nod. The blue warrior chuckles, though you’re not sure why as his companion approaches the two of you, seeming to tense up a little more and you’re certain that the silver Mando hates you already.

“This is your last chance for us to drop you off at the nearest village,” He warns you as the heavy-infantry warrior gives your shoulder a firm squeeze, as if trying to give you some of his strength even though you feel devastatingly weak, “Otherwise you’re stuck with us until further notice. We can’t guarantee your safety.”

You try your hardest to appear tough in front of the hunter, though his helmet tilts to the side with what feels like amusement as you awkwardly shift on your feet, “I… I have no family left and nowhere else to go. I would rather be with you two than have to suffer alone in an unfamiliar village that may or may not be attacked by cruel people again.”

He hesitates, visor shifting between you and the Mandalorian at your side, before nodding and making his way back to the cockpit without another word, pulling a sigh from the blue warrior as he turns back to you, tilting his helmet in the direction of the ladder. “Come on, little one,” He helps you off the crate before guiding you to the cockpit, following close behind as you push yourself up the ladder. Before you can say anything else, you’re interrupted by an intense rumble coming from your empty stomach and you pray that he didn’t hear it, though judging by his snort of laughter, your prayers were unanswered.

“Once we make the jump into hyperspace we’ll get you some food. Flying can be a lot if you’re not used to it and I don’t want you throwing up all over the cockpit.”

A warmth blossoms across your cheeks as the metal doors slide open, his palm still covering the small of your back as he urges you to sit in one of the unoccupied co-pilot chairs. You quickly buckle in as the brooding hunter flicks some switches on the console, seeming completely at ease as his blue companion lazily plops down in the chair next to you, the two of them not bothering with their seatbelts. Briefly, you wonder how long they’ve been doing this--traveling with one another--and with how sure of himself the silver Mando appears as he easily guides the ship off the sandy ground, you think it’s been quite a while.

“Have you ever been off Tatooine before?” The blue warrior asks you when he notices how tightly you’re clutching your seatbelt the further the ship ascends and you force yourself to relax your stiff fingers. “N-No,” You quietly inform him, tearing your gaze away from the windows to peer at him instead, “I lived in that village for all my life. When... When everything happened with the bandits, I wasn’t sure where to go, so I just ran.”

His visor tilts to the side and as he continues to speak, you can’t stop yourself from wondering if he’s doing it to distract you as the ship breaks the atmosphere of the sandy planet. “Well, it’s a good thing we happened to be close by since the nearest city was at least four more cycles away on foot,” This information makes you shudder and instantly, you grow quiet, knowing that there was no way you would have ever made it if they hadn’t shown up when they did.

He seems to notice your melancholic disposition and is quick to change the subject, his filtered voice melting into something more lighthearted that has you weakly smiling at his visor. “Maybe it’s a good thing you’re here,” He tilts his helmet to where his silver companion is piloting the ship into space, “He doesn’t exactly make for the best company sometimes, always brooding and complaining. Besides, you’re far prettier to look at.”

Your cheeks immediately grow warm at his sudden coyness, though it only seems to exasperate the other Mandalorian as he sighs, his silver helmet shaking as starlight reflects off of the pretty Beskar.

As the old, rickety ship makes the jump to hyperspace, causing a queasy sensation in the pit of your belly, you think that maybe the two of them don’t make for bad company at all.

Perhaps there is some force in the galaxy that took mercy on your soul after all.

[harrypotterandthefandomaccount]

In Your Arms

request:  Hello! I’ve been on your blog for a while and I really adore it, you’re an amazing writer, dearie! ❤️ I have a strange request, like really strange. A year ago I had a stillborn baby boy, and it’s still quite bad with pain. I was depressed, and beyond suicidal. As my journey to heal,  seeing fictional characters go through struggles that I faced make it better. I understand completely if you’d rather not. But perhaps a single reader, Harry’s younger sister when they’re adults of course. Maybe she used a donor, and in her pregnancy at six months she has a stillbirth after buying everything, and getting herself excited. Mainly, showing her struggles and everyone attempting to make her feel better. Perhaps, even a sweet moment of her baby in ‘wizard’ heaven with Sirius, Remus, and her parents. Taking care of him, and eventually the reader is reassured someone is taking care of her baby. Something every mother wishes for when it happens❤️ thank you so much, I send my best regards and love💓💕

warnings: depression, post-partum, stillborn death, anxiety, character death, sad death, suicidal thoughts

note: i really hope i did okay with this. i read this article to get more information about stillborns and the impact it has on mothers and their families. to the requester, i really hope i did okay with this. you are loved.

-

nothing, no feeling, but pain.

you knew something was not right when you started feeling deep pressure on your stomach only five months into your pregnancy. something was off, and as much as you wanted to ignore it, you had to go to St. Mungo’s.

by Merlin, you wish you ignored it.

the doctors scrambled, trying to find a way to rid your body of the contractions, to delay your baby’s delivery but there was nothing they could do. you could feel the tears and sweat running down your face as your twin, harry, gripped your hand, telling you everything would be okay.

you just wanted to hold your son.

harry told you it would all be okay, molly wiping the sweat from your forehead as she whispered encouraging words to you. you cried, not wanting to push as you knew what would happen to your son - you weren’t ready to let go yet.

as the doctors instructed, you pushed and pushed until the doctors told you to stop - your boy had entered the world. molly took him from the doctors, swaddling him in blue cloths and walked over to you, giving you a small smile.

you were tired. everything felt like jelly, but as you saw molly carrying your son, you sat up, ready to hold him. as he was passed into your arms, you smiled and cried.

“what’s wrong, dear?” molly asked, wiping back your damp hair.

you shook your head, “he’s beautiful. he is absolutely breathtaking.”

harry leaned over your side, looking at his nephew, “looks just like his mom.” he smiled, kissing your head as he smoothed your hair. over your head, he looked t molly, wondering what was going to happen.

a doctor stood at the side of your bed as you looked up, “what is going to happen to him?”

she gave a sad smile, “his organs will slowly start to shut down until he stops breathing, but he won’t be in pain. he’ll be okay.”

you looked back at your son, a bright smile on your face as your thumb grazed his cheek, “my beautiful boy. . .”

your bottom lip quivered, “can - can he be a donor?” you heard your son’s breathing, focusing on the rise and fall of his tiny chest and belly.

the doctor nodded, “yes, he can, but it is your decision, ms. potter.”

you swallowed, “can i spend more time with him, please?”

she nodded, “of course.”

molly held your hand under your son, sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, “have you thought of a name, darling?”

you nodded, your lip quivering, “fred.”

molly hummed, kissing your forehead. harry kneeled beside you, “beautiful name.” molly paused, “what do you need?”

“i just, um,” you swallowed a lump in your throat, “can i spend time with him? alone? i’m so-”

harry stood, “don’t apologize. . .we’ll be outside. i love you.”

you gave a sad smile, “i love you, too.” molly left right behind harry, giving you one last glance before leaving.

you knew they were telling everyone about what was happening, your son’s name, the difficult decision you had to make. but it didn’t matter. you were here, with fred, and he was the most beautiful baby you have ever seen in your entire life.

“oh, my sweet darling,” you started, “you have so - so many people waiting for you up there. your grandpa james, grandma lily, uncle sirius, uncle remus, uncle fred - whom you’re named after. they are going to take such good care of you, sweetheart.”

tears began to fall down your cheeks, your breath quickening as you realized he would not make it. you swallowed, “and, you’re going to be a savior, just like uncle harry. you. . .you are so loved, my darling. and,” you grazed his cheek again, “and i am going to miss you so much. you have a special place in my heart, you know that?”

his breathing then became wheezes, and somehow, the doctor knew, carefully walking in and closing the door with multiple nurses and a NICU cart behind them.

“i have to let him go, don’t i?” you asked, memorizing your son’s facial features.

molly opened the door, heading over to your side in a rush, “nobody is forcing you to do anything, darling. you take as much time as you need -”

“but if you wish for your son to be a donor, then yes. i am sorry, ms. potter.”

you leaned in, kissing fred on the forehead before whispering, “i am - i am going to miss you terribly, my love. don’t get in too much trouble.”

the doctor walked over to your bedside, watching your emotions carefully before you turned to her, “please take care of him. i don’t want him in any pain.”

she nodded to you, her red hair bouncing, “of course, ms. potter. your son will be in good care. he’ll be okay.”

with gentle hands, you carefully handed your son over to the doctor, who then put him inside the NICU cart, leaving quickly to preserve his organs. you covered your mouth, ugly sobs escaping you as molly pulled you close.

“i miss him!” you cried, snot and tears running down your face as the others waited outside, holding hands and wiping their own tears.

all you wanted was a baby, your own little baby - with a significant other or by donor - that was all you wanted. but now, it had been taken from you, ripped from your grasp. how were you supposed to live with yourself? how were you supposed to go home and look into the nursery without falling to your knees? how were you supposed to survive?

-

the shades hid the light of the sun entering your room. it was. . .nice, hiding from the world and laying within your plethora of covers. there was warmth, but also cold. you didn’t have a pregnant belly anymore, nor did you have any cravings or odd mood swings.

you wanted to hold fred again. you ached to kiss his cold, little cheeks again, or to smell him once more. you wish you had more time.

you had turned into a cocoon, refusing to leave your safe space unless necessary. no visitors were allowed, but you’d let people know you were breathing - not okay, but alive.

you felt like you failed.

you had done everything right. how did you lose him? what did you do wrong?

everyone had told you that it wasn’t your fault - but why did it feel like it was?

harry knocked on your door every single day. he still has yet to skip a day, but it has only been a week, so who knows. ginny stands beside him, telling you that you are strong, that you’ll get through this.

you scoffed every time.

molly drops off food every day, whether it be some cookies or a whole lasagna. she stands at the door and tells you how her day went, and you knew she was wiping her own tears. she’d stand there for about an hour and once you knew she left, you’d go and grab the food, putting it in the fridge until you had the stomach to eat.

ron and hermione came by twice, shoving cards and your mail under the door, telling you how much they miss you and your smile. you wanted to go out and laugh with them about old times, but you just couldn’t.

then his ashes came.

you remember being so excited when you first found out you were pregnant, rushing to buy all the supplies you needed as your girlfriends took the stress off you, buying the items for you instead.

you remember painting the room with george, harry, and ron. well, they painted and you ate pizza, giving tips as they got each other covered in the baby blue hue.

you remember finding out the sex of the baby, holding harry’s hand as the nurse told you it was a boy. that was when you knew his name was going to be fred, and harry admired you for it, calling you an adirmable sister.

however, you also remembered when you first got home, shuffling over to the couch and wrapping a blanket around yourself. you remember how your breasts ached, producing milk when there was nobody to produce it for. how the bleeding felt as if it went on for ages.

at first, you felt numb at the sight of the urn, but in a good way. he was here, finally, in his home. maybe not in the way you expected, but he was home. fred was home. you placed him on your dresser, perfect line of sight for you to see him. just to make sure your baby was okay.

standing up, you shook your legs and hobbled over to the shower, turning it on and stepping in immediately. the heat felt good, washing away the dirt and grime that had formed over the past week. then, brushing your teeth felt good, felt productive.

then, you called molly, asking if you could come over for dinner, and if harry and ginny, ron and hermione, could come, too.

she cried once she hung up, her answer being a choked, “of course, darling.”

it wasn’t what you planned, but it is what happened. you came to terms with that as you looked off into the field from the burrow. you miss fred terribly, but you knew he was okay. it was odd - sometimes, you’d hear a baby’s laugh and you’d see someone who was the spitting image of remus or sirius, lifting a baby in the air and seeing their smile light up the world. you saw those as signs - signs that fred was being taken care of.

and you were okay with him not being in your arms.

[randomfandominserts]

Zuko x Reader - Home

Request:  Hi! I wonder if you take requests. If that's the case would you maybe write something with Zuko please? Maybe Reader is really soft and friendly despite his efforts to push her away and gives him the feeling that hes enough, and that theres no need to return to his father. And he can't help but grow fond of her and get soft and maybe its the first time he lets her hug him and she kisses him on the cheek and he blushes?

Word Count: 4619

Note: So this is way longer and angsty-er than I was expecting it to be. It’s the first time I’ve written in a while so I’m super rusty but I hope you enjoy!

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It was never easy to be a Fire Nation run-away, a refugee with no way to express the loss you’ve had to face for fear of being banished from your new home. You were the child of a Fire Nation nobleman, a child who had been locked away from the world for years due to your lack of bending and possession of curiosity and empathy. Though you were usually soft-spoken and hesitant to disobey authority, you still made an effort to let those around you know you were against the Fire Lord and the war he supported. 

Your blatant disrespect for the Fire Lord’s rule at royal events led to your separation from the noble world, and eventually the entire world. Fire Lord Ozai was clear, very clear, that had you continued to let your presence disrupt his events, you would face a fate worse than death and your parents would be punished for raising such a disrespectful child. So you were locked away, with no one to see but your tutors and the parents who desperately tried to pass on their vicious world views. No amount of force or manipulation could influence you to think anything but poor thoughts of the Fire Nation. The point came where they wanted nothing more than to rid themselves of their wretched child, and they offered to have you sent to the Fire Lord’s prison on charges of treason. 

And so you left. 

You ventured into the world, escaping in the night with a satchel full of stolen coins and a month’s worth of bread. You walked and walked, then hid away on a ship to travel to the Earth Kingdom, then continued to walk, then bought an ostrich horse and traveled more. Eventually, after months of travel, you made your way into Ba Sing Se as a refugee, beginning your new life. 

Of course, life went on like this for months, until one day you ventured into your neighborhood’s tea shop and came face-to-face with two familiar men. Two very familiar members of the Fire Nation’s royal family. 

It took everything in you not to scream out in surprise. Were they here to take you back? Punish you for escaping your fate? Execute you for treason? How had they even gotten into Ba Sing Se? But Iroh quickly pulled you aside, the gentle smile on his kind face calming your nerves immediately. “(Y/N),” he said, “It is very good to see you again.” You decided that a reunion with a friendly face was just what you needed, so you invited the pair over for dinner to learn more about what had happened.

You learned of their journey to find the Avatar, and you learned of Azula’s betrayal and their flee to the Earth Kingdom capital. Iroh was welcoming of having you in his life. He was always a kind man during court events, escorting you out and giving you tea when you angered his brother. Zuko, on the other hand, was more apprehensive about having you around. He had heard your words in the past defaming his father and protesting the war. He was unsure that you would keep their secret. 

But you were much too kind to rat out two poor souls looking to move on with their lives. Besides, ratting them out only gave them reason to throw you under the bus as well. It was much better to simply throw caution to the wind and stick together. Keep your friends close and enemies closer, and anyone in-between stays close as well, you supposed.

With the help of the former royals, you were able to buy a much better place for the three of you. It was not fancy or even nice, but it was better than before and had two bedrooms, one for you and one for your housemates, and a living area rather than simply one large room. 

Life was good. You and Iroh grew closer, much to Zuko’s dismay. He still distrusted you and was hesitant to let himself get close to you for fear of betrayal. You tried, though. Every evening when you both arrived home from work you greeted him with a smile, and sometimes a small gift from the shop you worked at. He was never blatantly rude, always mumbling a quick greeting or thank you, but would always shuffle into his room without a second word. You were determined to get on his good side, but he never seemed to show himself to you long enough to break the surface. 

Slowly but surely, you and Iroh began to help Zuko warm to the idea of being your friend. Every day he would say a couple more words, stay out a little later before he shuffled to his room for the night. His (slight) openness warmed your heart, and you found yourself growing fond of the boy. 

One night, Iroh was out late with some men he played Pai Sho with. That meant you were in charge of feeding yourself and Zuko for the night. You cooked up an old recipe you had learned years ago and placed the platters in front of the both of you. 

“I hope you like it,” you started, watching as Zuko took a small spoonful into his mouth. “I haven’t cooked in ages.” 

“Thank you,” Zuko replied, swirling the food in his bowl. “It’s good.”

“It’s an old recipe that my grandmother taught me.” Zuko took another mouthful of food, quietly thinking over the words you said. 

“You must miss her,” he finally said. It was a statement rather than a question, and though he was unsure he painted it as though he was certain of himself.

“I couldn’t,” you countered, placing your own bite on your tongue. There was silence as Zuko watched you swallow your food, waiting for you to continue. “The things that my family has done, what would make me miss such corruption and misery?” You found yourself staring down at your bowl, the steam hitting your face in a comforting puff of heat. “It’s much like your father. You don’t miss him.” Your words shadowed his, an unsure statement once again presented as confident truth.

Zuko didn’t reply, instead opting to sip his water and stare past your head. You figured that meant the conversation had ended, so you sighed and continued to eat your food in silence. Zuko’s sharp breathing and the clattering of spoons against bowls were the only noises present until Iroh burst in through the door, cheerfully greeting you both. He paused once he sensed the tense atmosphere and settled at the table with you both. 

“What are you eating? It looks delicious,” he said, causing you to smile. 

“I’ll grab you a bowl,” you said, rising from the table quickly. Once you cleaned your bowl and filled one for Iroh, you headed back to the table. “It’s an old Fire Nation recipe. I think you’ll like it,” you told Iroh as you placed his food in front of him. Zuko continued to avoid your gaze, and you figured it was time to go. “I think I’ll head to bed now. Goodnight.” With that, you were off. 

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You hadn’t been able to sleep. You were unsure of what time it was, but the black sky outside your window told you it wasn’t yet nearing the morning. With a sigh, you pushed yourself out of bed and off to the kitchen to fetch a cup of tea to soothe you to sleep. 

To your surprise, the kitchen wasn’t empty when you arrived. Zuko sat at the table, a cup of tea sitting on the table in front of him. He twirled the contents of the cup with a single heated finger, causing the contents to boil and bubble. As you shut your door, he swung around to meet your eyes with a questioning look. “I couldn’t sleep,” you said simply as you took the seat across from him. He nodded before standing to grab a second cup from the cupboard.

“Would you like some tea?” he asked, lifting the pot to begin his pour. “Don’t worry, my uncle made it before he went to sleep.” You nodded, taking the warm cup from his hands and sipping it. You both sat in silence for a moment, daring the other to break it. You decided to take the bait and set your cup down with a gentle thud.

“I apologize for what I said earlier,” you started, staring down at your mug. The lightly-colored liquid glistened in the light of the lone lantern Zuko had lit, and you couldn’t help but fasten your attention to the shimmering reflection rather than the grumpy prince. “I meant nothing by implying you didn’t miss your father. I only assumed-” 

“It’s fine.” He cut you off suddenly, his scratchy voice holding a sharp tone. “I don’t miss him. You’re right.” Though he tried to hide it, he always tried to hide it, you could hear the pain in his voice. You looked up and met his amber eyes, searching for answers.

“You must miss something.” There was something about the way he worded his sentence, something about the way he avoided looking directly at you. You could tell he wasn’t being entirely truthful, so you pushed. 

“I suppose I do.” He was curt, unwilling to give you the answer you desired, so you changed the subject before the tense silence you were both so accustomed to could swallow you whole.

“It’s beginning to feel like a home here, isn’t it?” You tried to give him a small smile, evoke a little emotion from the boy, but he stared blankly as you spoke. “The plants I bought from the shop bring a little light into this place.” 

“This isn’t a home.” Zuko stood abruptly, shaking the table as he pushed away. Drops of tea spilled over the top of your cup, splashing onto the wood of the table. “This isn’t my home.” He stormed out of the house, leaving no trace except his boiling cup of tea and your spilled one. You sighed before rising to clean up.

You traveled around the table to grab Zuko’s half-filled drink, only to immediately drop it at the feeling of the burning hot cup. You cursed as the hot contents spilled onto your bare feet and the cup shattered on the floor. At the sound of this commotion, Iroh slid open his door and peeked into the kitchen. 

“Zuko is gone. Is everything alright?” You gave no answer, instead sitting on the floor to look at your burnt feet and clean up the broken cup. Iroh stepped out into the kitchen to examine the situation, sighing when he saw your red feet and turning back to his room. He returned with a towel, a broom, and some bandages for your feet, and helped lift you to a seat to bandage yourself while he cleaned the spilled tea. You slowly wrapped your burns, unsure of what to say. Luckily, Iroh knew how to break the silence. “Did you fight?” he questioned. You shook your head. 

“We were having a discussion.” 

“A discussion.” Iroh’s hearty laugh filled the atmosphere, instantly bringing you comfort. “My nephew hardly knows how to have a discussion.” You shrugged, not knowing what to say. 

“I hadn’t meant to offend him.” You finished wrapping your feet and stood, testing to make sure the bandages would stay. “We spoke of his father, and he said he didn’t miss him, but he still sounded sad.” You stumbled to the flower pot which housed the small flowering bush you had brought home. It made the place feel so lovely, and it was such a beautiful addition to the dreary interior of your poor home. You sighed and brushed a finger over its leaves. “I spoke of home, this home. But this isn’t his home.”

“Come, sit.” Iroh walked over and helped you to sit in a chair at the table. He sat across from you and slid a cup across the table. “I figure you could use some fresh tea,” he said with a smile. You took a sip and smiled, silently thanking him for the warmth and comfort housed in the cup. 

The silence was once again broken by Iroh’s kind voice. “My nephew has been through many things. It has been a long while since he has had a place to call home.” 

“Of course. I never meant to invalidate him in any way.” You hadn’t meant to hurt or offend Zuko. It felt as though Ba Sing Se was becoming a home, a true home, for both you and him. “I only thought that we finally had something good, all of us. A home.” 

“And that we do.” Iroh took a sip of his own tea and let out a sigh. “But this is not the home my nephew wants. He desires a home with his family.” 

“You’re his family. Is this not enough for him?” You felt yourself getting worked up, and your tea threatened to once again spill over the edge of the cup that rested in your shaky hands. “How can he desire to go home to people who have hurt him?” 

“Family is a strange thing, (Y/N). As is desire.”

“His father scarred him. Banished him. What more proof does he need that there is no home where that man is?” Once again, drops of tea splashed onto the wood in front of you. Quickly, you set the tea down and rose from your chair. “Thank you for the tea. I think I’ll be heading to bed.” Iroh simply sipped his tea and nodded.

“Remember, it takes courage to stand fast in your beliefs. All are not as strong as you, (Y/N). All are not so certain.” You nodded your head before slipping away to your room. As you laid in bed, Iroh’s words echoed in your ears. Zuko desperately wanted a home with his family. He wanted acceptance, despite anything that may have happened to him. It broke your heart knowing that he wanted nothing more than his father’s love, even when his father cared so little of him.

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“Zuko!” You called out to the taller boy, waving him outside. He was working, but the shop wasn’t busy and it seemed they had little to do.  It had been a couple of days since your tense chat, and though you both seemed to be back to normal you had yet to discuss what had happened. It was constantly on your mind, but you felt it was better to keep the peace than put Zuko in an uncomfortable position to discuss family with an outsider. “I’m about to head to lunch. Would you like to join me?”

He nodded in your direction, let Iroh know where he was off to, and stripped off his apron. “Where are we eating?” he asked as you walked down the stone streets. You held up a basket of food, a small smile on your face. 

“I thought we could picnic, if that’s alright?” Zuko once again nodded, and you two set off to find a nice spot to sit and eat. Your walk was silent, the only sound present being the beating of your feet against the stone path, but it was strangely comforting. Eventually, you came across an empty plaza and settled down by the fountain. As you worked to pull out the food you prepared, Zuko strolled around the plaza.

“Thank you for this,” he said when you finished, and plopped down next to you. “You don’t need to always cook for me.” 

“It’s not a problem,” you insisted, shoving some food in his hands. “Here, try this. You like spicy food, right?” With that, the two of you began your quiet meal. Zuko was, as usual, not very talkative, but you tried to fill the empty space with jokes and laughter. You even managed to get a small smile out of the dark-haired boy. 

All too soon, lunch was over and the two of you had to get back to your respective jobs. As you journeyed back through the streets, a sheet of paper floated down just in front of you both. Zuko reached out to pluck it from the air, eyeing it carefully. His eyes seemed to widen as he read the sheet. “What is it?” you asked, peering over to try and catch a glimpse. The sheet was quickly removed from your line of sight with a grumbled response telling you it was nothing, don’t worry about it. Unconvinced, you reached over and ripped the sheet from his hands, giving it a quick once over. 

“A… flying bison?” You were confused, why did a missing pet have Zuko in such a mood? You continued scanning the sheet until you reached the bottom, where it listed who to contact if the bison were found. “Oh.” You held the crumpled sheet back out to Zuko, and he was quick to snatch it from your hands. You felt a lump growing in your throat, unsure of what to say to the boy who stood beside you. The Avatar was in Ba Sing Se, and it seemed Zuko was ready to run after him and return back to his old life immediately.

“I have to go,” he said, but you reached out and grabbed his wrist to stop him from entering the shop.  At this moment words seemed to fail you, and you just stared up at him, sadness in your eyes. He avoided your gaze. He looked anywhere but at your accusing stare, anywhere but the disappointment your eyes held. Slowly, you loosened your grip on his wrist, and his arm dropped back to his side. “Thank you for lunch.” 

Later, you sat in your apartment helping Iroh brainstorm names for his new tea shop while you cooked dinner. Iroh had gotten the offer to have his own shop and a nicer apartment today, and upon hearing the news you decided to celebrate. Zuko stormed in while you were tossing around silly names, the crumpled flyer held tight in his hand.

“The Avatar is here in Ba Sing Se,” he said, holding the paper out to Iroh. You tensed upon hearing the words, knowing what conversation was to follow. “He’s lost his bison.”

Iroh was as displeased as you, and voiced his concerns to Zuko. The boy stormed off, leaving you and Iroh frozen in the kitchen. You softly stirred the food while Iroh continued to spout silly name ideas for the new shop.

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That night, you were staring at the ceiling when you heard a noise from the front, followed by a quiet curse. You rolled out of bed and exited your room, only to find Zuko in the living area, shoes on and dual swords by his side. “Where are you going?” you questioned, causing the boy to jump.

“Out,” he replied simply as he dug through a box. What was he was searching for? You crossed the room to take the spot beside him and leaned over the box for a peak. It was full of random keepsakes, things you’d never seen before. Probably a box that was purposefully hidden away, full of things Zuko wanted no one else to see.

“Out,” you repeated, a hint of resignation in your voice. You knew exactly what that meant, and your suspicions were only confirmed when you saw Zuko pull a blue mask from the depths of his box. “You’re going after the bison, aren’t you?” 

“What do you think, (Y/N)?” He stood up, tucking the mask into his waistband. “I have to.” 

“You don’t,” you said gently. He shook his head at the thought and moved to turn away, but you grabbed his wrist and tugged, forcing him to turn back to you. “Zuko, this isn’t your responsibility anymore. You’re free. You’re finally free to be who you want, and yet you still choose this path of pain.” You tried to look to him, but he was looking away from you, hiding any emotion that he might be showing on his face. 

“You don’t get it,” he tried to say, but you scoffed at the thought. 

“No, you don’t get it, Zuko!” Rare as it was, you felt yourself losing your grip. He couldn’t see how much this was hurting him, or hurting his uncle, or hurting you. He couldn’t see that he had options now that he resided in Ba Sing Se. He couldn’t see the home that you and Iroh had built up for him. “You don’t understand how much you have. We have a home, Zuko, we have our little family. Iroh is happy! He’s getting his own tea shop. You’ll be able to enjoy your life, and yet you still want to do everything you can to make your father proud and go back to that wretched palace.” 

You were so frustrated and tears threatened to spill, but Zuko still refused to even glance in your direction. He tried to tug free of your grip, but you still held on tight. “Let go,” he said, his voice firm. You hesitated before complying, but he didn’t move immediately. 

“Can you at least look at me?” Your voice trembled. You didn’t have much left in you. The least he could do was look in your eyes while you pleaded with him to stay. It took a moment before he turned his head back towards you. His expression was blank, but his eyes betrayed him. Though you couldn’t decipher it, there was something hidden behind his gaze. Sadness, anger, guilt? You couldn’t tell. “You don’t have to go. Stay here. Be happy with us. Don’t do this, please.” 

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“I know exactly what I’m talking about.” You tried to reach out to him, to grab his arm once again and tug him closer, but he stepped just out of your reach. “Zuko, there’s nothing left for you there. You may steal the bison or capture the Avatar, but then what? You return home to a family that doesn’t care for you as much as we do. They don’t love you at all.” He was turning away from you again, and you leapt forward to latch onto him. “Look at me. Please, just look at me and tell me honestly that you’ll be happier with your father than with us.” He couldn’t, and you knew he couldn’t. You tried holding his attention, but he tugged his arm away without a word and averted his eyes.

“I’m going. Don’t follow me.” Your pleas had fallen on deaf ears. Zuko tucked his swords into their holder and left, not even sparing you a second glance. You felt frozen in time as quiet tears streaked down your face.

After what felt like hours (but was likely only minutes), you shuffled to the back room and knocked on a door. It opened to reveal a sleepy-looking Iroh, but he immediately woke when he saw the state you were in. “Zuko’s gone.”

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You barely slept that night, and you slept even less when Zuko came back with a fever. You stayed by his side, making sure he always had a cool rag on his head and some water nearby to drink. Iroh insisted you take turns watching over the prince, but you couldn’t help but worry. 

Iroh had told you what happened that night, and you were incredibly proud of Zuko. You knew it must have been hard for him to realize his path, but you were glad that this was the path that he had chosen. You wanted more than anything for him to have a chance at happiness alongside you and his uncle.

It was late at night when Zuko finally recovered from his feverish state. You were reading a book beside him and barely noticed he had risen when he decided to speak. “How long have I been sick?” You glanced over the top of your book to see the prince sitting up on the floor. He looked much better, albeit still a bit weak from the cold. You could hardly contain the smile that spread onto your face. 

“It’s only been a couple of days. Are you hungry?” You quickly rose from your seat beside him, but he reached out to you as you walked away. 

“Wait,” he requested. You slowed to a stop and returned to his side. “I wanted to thank you for what you said.” The complex mix of emotions you had seen in his eyes the night he left was now spread across his face. Sadness, anger, guilt, and now embarrassment? You couldn’t tell, but at least now he wasn’t hiding it. “You helped me realize that I do have a choice. I can be happy, I just need to choose it.” 

The smile on your face grew wider. “And you’re choosing us?” 

“I’ve realized you and my uncle are my real family.” You couldn’t contain your joy as you reached out to hug Zuko. He hadn’t noticed and was moving to get up, so you quickly stopped and regained your composure. You stood too, hoping the boy hadn’t noticed. 

“I’ll go get Iroh. I’m sure he’s excited to see you.” 

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It was the first morning in your new apartment in the Upper Ring. You could smell Iroh cooking in the large kitchen, but you were distracted by the sight of Zuko watering the plants you had brought from your old apartment. He had gotten up much earlier than you, which didn’t usually happen, so it was a welcoming sight to see him glowing in the morning sun with your plants. 

“I didn’t think you liked those,” you said, causing him to jump. Once he saw it was you, he shook his head as he returned his attention to the plants. 

“They’ve grown on me,” he replied. You smiled and moved to his side, watching as he cared for the bush. He seemed so happy now, his usual scowl replaced with the hint of a smile and shining eyes. You wished you could watch the scene play out forever, but he broke the moment when he set the watering can down and turned to you. “You were right. They do make it feel like home.” He gave you a small smile, and your heart melted.

Without thinking, you stepped closer to him and wrapped your arms around him. He was taken by surprise and stood frozen for a moment, before gently wrapping his around you. “I’m so glad you stayed,” you said softly. “I’m glad you’re home.” You pulled away to smile up at him and quickly rose on your toes to peck his cheek. He immediately grew red at the kiss.

“I- uh, well, I’m glad I stayed too,” he stammered, turning his face away from you. Of course, Iroh chose that moment to enter the room. 

“Nephew, your face is as red as a tomato,” he said with a chuckle. “Has your fever returned?” 

“Of course not,” Zuko countered, before picking up the watering can and shuffling quickly out of the room to avoid any more conversation. With a knowing look on his face, Iroh shot you a wink and then let you know breakfast was ready. He exited, leaving you alone in the room. 

You reached out to gently stroke the leaves of the bush in front of you. You were all finally home. Only good things could be in store for your new-found family. With a small smile plastered on, you skipped off to the kitchen to enjoy the first breakfast of your new, happy life.