#i should’ve directed this movie . i could’ve saved it

[priestfrommidnightmass]

i’m rereading red white and royal blue again right now and first of all i am Flying through it i’ve been in a severe reading slump for like months and months and have read 150+ pages in one day and the only reason i stopped is because i went to see my friends but SECOND. reading the book is kinda making me realize how shitty the movie is like okay it’s not Shitty it’s just so different and they got rid of like so many of my favorite elements. third i’m never going to forgive the director for writing out june i genuinely am NEVER going to forgive for how much we missed out on

[ermdotorg]

i rewrote newt's death scene when i finished reading the books awhile back. it's basically the movie and book death combined in flashback form from a little safe haven au i ended up scraping.

i did have to watch the scene in the movie and read the scene in the book which was actually awful— but i think it came out okay despite the sobs i had to write it through.

lmk how you feel about it lol <3

cw: canon violence, mean words, death, and tragic gays

“Shut your mouth you shuck traitor.” Newt rasped, chest heaving with exhaustion as he sat atop of Thomas, eyes mad and bearing into him painfully, “Didn’t you read my note? You couldn’t do this one last, lousy thing for me? I hate you, I’ve always hated you!”

The pair began wrestling, Newt fighting to strangle him and Thomas holding the wrists of the other in an attempt to save himself. He knew he didn’t mean it, but every word felt like a bullet to his heart, “Newt, please, please stop.”

“You could’ve stopped them, the Creators, you could’ve figured out a way. But no! You had to keep going, try to save the world, be a hero. And you came into the Maze and never stopped! You only ever cared about yourself, admit it! Gotta be the one people remember, the one they worship! We should’ve tossed you right down the damn Box Hole!” Every word seemed to tire him further, but he kept going nonetheless, fighting Thomas with monstrous strength.

“I hate you Tommy!” he cried, “After everything I did for you, everything, you can’t even do the one bloody thing I ask? I don’t even want to look at your shuck ugly face!”

“Newt,” he muttered, pain overrun by fear, “I can’t-”

“I should rip your eyes out.” the sick boy seethed, bearing teeth, “Teach you a lesson in stupidity.” he paused, fighting Thomas’ grasp for a moment, “Told you about me jumping off the bloody walls, didn’t I?”

He nodded, entirely engulfed by terror as the other continued, “I hated that place Tommy. I hated every second of every day. And it was… all… your… fault!”

His friend suddenly dropped his arms and reached for the gun holstered on Thomas’ side, pressing the nose of it to his own temple as he squeezed his eyes shut, ready. Thomas shouted and lurched forwards, knocking it far across the pavement before shoving Newt off and scrambling to stand.

“Kill me Tommy!” Newt called hoarsely, struggling to his feet.

He shook his head violently as the other unveiled a knife from his belt, one he'd recognized as his own, “I– I can’t.”

“Make amends!” he screeched before hurling towards Thomas, the blade swinging in every direction as he narrowly avoided it, horrified at the words, at what the other wanted from him. “Repent for what you did! Kill me you shuck coward! Prove you can do the right thing. Put me out of my misery.”

He trembled as they circled one another, the weapon still clutched in the sick boy’s hand, “Newt maybe we can-”

“Shut up! Just Shut up! I trusted you, only you, with the note. Just do it!”

How could he possibly ask this of him? How could he say such things? “I can’t! I can’t.”

“Do it!”

“I can’t!”

Newt ran at him again, this time successfully throwing both of them to the ground as he fought to drill a knife into the flesh over Thomas' heart. He gripped his friend's wrists, groaning with effort as the other fought against him, “Kill me before I become one of those cannibal monsters!”

“I can’t.” he rasped, attention locked on the losing battle between them. He felt the tip of the blade push into his skin, and he cried out as it shoved further in. He felt the pain, the sting of something foreign breaking through flesh, but nothing could compare to the fear of not being able to hold his friend off any longer.

Suddenly Newt released his hold, the weapon thrown a few feet to their right as Thomas hissed in pain, looking up to see his friend examining their state, eyes clear. “I’m so– I’m sorry Tommy.”

“‘Ts okay, it’s okay Newt.” he murmured, hands still clenched around the others forearms as Newt gripped at his shoulder, breathing heavily. The clarity vanished once more, sickness returning and bidding the blonde to jump off and reach for the blade again. Thomas was on his feet as the other got ahold of the weapon, and there they stood, a short distance between them that felt like worlds away.

“Kill me, or I’ll kill you.” Newt rasped, every word looking painful, “Kill me! Do it!”

“Newt…”

“Do it before I become one of them!”

“I-” he bit down a sob, taking in the other and praying for Minho to return quickly, “I can’t.”

Newt stepped to him, slowly, like a predator stalking its prey, “Kill me.”

Thomas shook his head, unmoving despite the urge. Newt closed the distance until they stood less than a foot apart, the weapon held out at Newt’s side, “Kill me, Tommy.”

“No.” he muttered.

“Kill me!” he shouted, splattering spit over Thomas’ face. It seemed as though it took all of Newt’s efforts to keep himself still, his entire body trembled violently, until it suddenly fell still. Newt met his eyes, which had found sanity once more, and in the lowest, most pitiful voice he whispered, ��Please, Tommy. Please.”

He yearned for mercy, and Thomas wanted to grant him it, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t live without him, he couldn’t have done anything without him. He needed him. “Newt I can’t, you’re my–”

Newt gave a guttural cry as the Flare overtook him again, raising the knife which Thomas barely blocked, throwing the blonde away from him as he stepped back, putting as much distance between them as he could. Newt seemed to have lost his voice, because he only watched him with animalistic rage as he turned to face him once more.

Without a word he lunged, slashing the blade over and over until finally they collided, sharp gasps sounding from both of them as they met in an embrace. Thomas wrapped his arms around the other, just for a moment, before he’d have to continue on fighting him until their friends returned with the Serum.

Newt fell still though, ragged breaths turned mute as he leaned away a bit. Thomas pulled back, staring into the boy’s face before turning his gaze down to see the butt of the knife sticking out from Newt's chest, the sheen of metal concealed in his flesh.

[lovers-tucked-into-a-quiet-cafe]

Chapter 5 [IKYLHT]

~2.4k Words | Series Masterlist | Prev | Next Chapter

-

“Officials are saying a power surge is to blame for an explosion over downtown Chicago last night due to severe winds leaving thousands of residents in the dark…”

“-I still don’t think that was the best they could’ve come up with.”

“Shh, Johnny, I’m trying to hear them.” You mumble with a light slap to the man’s thigh, nodding over to Price and Laswell as they clink glasses.

Simon chuckles from the other side of you as you peer around Soap’s form in an attempt to convince Gaz to relay the conversation word for word. He doesn’t, and part of you regrets not swapping seats with the man beforehand.

Not that you would’ve been able to, what with Simon and Johnny essentially herding you into the bar stool between them. 

Sheepdogs, I swear. 

“Y’know, I think you owe me, Bun.”

Johnny’s voice has a playful edge to it, something you so desperately need after the torture endured in that building. 

Bloody hands trying to find grip on the cables- anything that’d soften your fall down the elevator shaft and allow you to follow him into that half constructed floor full of soldiers and Hassan. 

Bloody hands that found themselves back on their original place, wrapping gauze around Price’s shoulder and pestering Gaz for updates every other minute.

He didn’t have any. You’d opted to try yourself. 

“Soap, please.” 

You can’t help the desperation in your tone. 

He hasn’t answered comms in four minutes. 

Something is wrong. 

“What is your status? Click the transmitter. Something. Anything. Please, Johnny.”

You hear nothing but the soft Chicago wind in return, shaking hand reaching for comms once more.

“Ghost, do you have a visual?”

It takes him a moment to answer, and you can just barely hear his boots ascending the stairwell in steps of two.

“Negative. Adjusting position now.”

You hate it. 

Hate that your view of Ghost is completely blocked from this floor, hate that Johnny isn’t responding to comms, hate that he’s in there alone.

Had this scene not already played out? Had Johnny not already been forced to fend for himself with shivs and rat traps in the streets of Las Almas? 

Why couldn’t they get someone in there with him? Where are the Marines? Where is Gaz? Where is Johnny?

I should’ve been there.

I was there. It still didn’t matter. 

I still couldn’t save him. 

“Fuck this.” You mumble, shuffling back onto your feet, eyes already scanning for the emergency staircase. 

I’ll scale the building myself.

Your gun is gone, lost somewhere to the explosion and subsequent shootout. You slide your hand over a spare knife resting on your hip. It’s not much, but it’ll have to do.

“Price, I’m movi-”

“Ghost…” Soap’s voice carries through your earpiece and renders your legs damn near immovable. 

You don’t notice the way your knife slices open the top layer of skin on your palm, instinctually bolting up and towards the stairs as you hear Ghost reply.

Going down two, three, four at a time- shoulder slamming into the wall as you turn each corner and stumble down the staircase- you’re still unable to see any of what’s happening- eyes unblinking and ears straining to hear Johnny’s next words.

“Watch the window-“

“-Bun, c’mon. I remember hearin’ you make a bet with Simon.”

Blinking, you find yourself back in the bar.

Right. That’s right. It’s over. 

It’s all over.

Nodding, more to yourself than to him, you scan the bar and blink the image of it back into the front of your brain. 

You don’t miss the way Simon watches the entire thing. 

You let a semi-genuine smile grace your lips and nudge him back. 

“Which you were not a part of, Sargeant. Direct orders from the captain, in case you forgot. Plus, Si didn’t even agree to put any money on it. No point in betting if there isn’t a cash incentive.”

Glancing around him again, you’re just able to meet Gaz’s eyes as he finally divulges you by mouthing a single word before he’s turning back to Price.

Russians.

“I just think-”

“-Johnny.”

Your tone is what gets him to look up, to pop the bubble he’d created just for you, Simon, and himself. To raise his guard and compartmentalize like he always does. 

You can’t blame the man for wanting normalcy for just a little longer. The chance to sit in a dimly lit pub with his partners, nursing a drink and laughing at how awful the men across the bar are at playing pool.

He doesn’t want another assignment. Not now. Not after all they’d been through. He needed a break, desperately, and he needed to get his mind off of work before it consumed him completely. 

But you can’t. You just can’t slip into that headspace right now. You can’t let your guard down. 

Maybe it was the mission, maybe it was the close-calls, but this inability to just think straight is one you’d only experienced once before. 

You can’t remember when they start- the flashbacks, the shifting from present reality to memory. You only remember the looks of your comrades as they steer you back to the current moment.

Price’s voice cuts into the space, deep and low.

“He’s not new.”

He slides the picture over to Gaz, Soap bracing a hand over your leg as it bounces repeatedly.

You’re nervous.

You can’t tell why. 

You force yourself to stop, to allow Gaz to study the photo without interruption. You hear him shift, pass the photo over to Soap who holds it up for the two of you.

He nods once, reaching past you to hand it to Ghost.

Shaking your head, you whisper to both men beside you.

“I don’t recognize him.”

Their eyes meet past your shoulder, an unspoken conversation.

“Guys?” You whisper again, eyes darting between the pair. 

Still no answer, you look between Price and Kate, the latter looking just as confused as you did.

“Who is he?”

You feel Johnny’s grip on your thigh tighten, hear Simon’s deep inhale as Price turns to answer Kate.

“Makarov.”

-

“Well, this is me. You can just… knock, I guess. If you need anything, I mean.”

The door clicks behind Simon as you shift to stand awkwardly in the corner of your small accommodation. 

His eyes shift over your room, the tiny storage shelf topped with boxes and folders of paperwork you’d need to drop off before the night’s end.

It’s hardly decorated past the beige curtains and yellow lighting that adorned each private room in the barracks. 

You distantly wonder if Simon’s room is any nicer. Probably not, since it’s just a temporary until the flight home.

Better than a motel. 

He nods once, lets out a little hum of acknowledgment before locking eyes with yours.

“You okay, Tapeti?”

“Me? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I’m good. Just need a nap, I think. Maybe some real sleep once the paperwork is done.”

He hums again. 

“Okay. Not what I meant though, love.”

You give a sheepish semi-shrug, a half answer he lets slide with a small sigh. 

“Alright then. Gonna go check on Johnny. You comin’?”

You want to, to go and kick your feet up on Johnny’s lap while he doom-scrolls through social media, but your eyes fall back on the box of papers.

“Oh, uh. No, that’s alright. I’ll swing by later. Really gotta desk-jockey it tonight. Text me if he needs anything?”

“Of course, darling.” He says softly, kissing the top of your head through the mask before sparing you one last glance and slipping out the door.

You sigh out, shuffling over to the storage shelf and grabbing the box before plopping onto the chair with a huff. 

Casualty Report 

Contact Report

Frequency Interference Report

Nuclear, Biological, and Chemical Report

Report

Report

Report

Digging your palms into your eyes, you groan out.

It's been hours, according to both the clock and the ache in your lower back.

“They offered me retirement, why the hell didn’t I take retirement?” Exhaling a deep breath, you whisper to yourself as you neatly pile the paperwork. “I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

Sliding it off the desk and into the crook of your arm, you make your way through the foreign base, dropping off the paperwork to some higher-up's secretary with a content smile.

Not my problem anymore.

A little more pep in your step, you start making your way back to the barracks, giving Johnny’s door a light knock.

There’s no answer.

You knock again.

Still no answer.

With a small roll of the eyes, you dig for the spare key he slipped into your pocket with a wink, unlocking the door.

You crack it open, knock again and whisper as it quietly creaks.

“I swear Johnny, you’re such a liar- ‘oh I never fall asleep first’. I could practically hear you snoring through the- oh.”

His silhouette is dim but unmistakable. His snores are soft, as they usually are. 

So are Simon’s. 

You turn your head, scan the empty hall once more before really taking in the sight before you.

They’re cute. Snuggled up, cozy under the blanket Johnny will soon kick off, Simon’s head resting over his heart.

It’d be a lot sweeter of a moment if, well… if there was any space for you.

They really are cute together and you know it shouldn’t bother you, but, that was your spot. 

It’d always been that way.

Johnny on his back, you on his left side. 

Closing the door with a soft click, you lock the deadbolt as quiet as you can before making the trek back to your room.

It’s dark, curtains blocking any pale moonlight and the room is still just as fucking beige as before only now it’s a problem. 

The bed is too cold. Too big, too empty, too overwhelming without his body splayed over half of it. 

You don’t bother changing into anything comfier, kicking your boots towards the door and burrowing under the covers.

You look to the pillow on your right.

You shut your eyes.

It’ll be better in the morning.

-

Your descent down the stairwell is rushed, boots clipping the safety grips multiple times and hands flailing to grab the railing beside you.

You find a rifle on the way down, still slightly sticky with the blood of the masked soldier it belonged to. 

You could never be too sure.

It clatters against your tac vest uncomfortably, hitting the back of your legs and threatening to launch you down the stairs completely.

You don’t bare it much mind though, hopping off the last few steps and throwing yourself against the heavy metal door with a grunt.

Side stepping and nearly knocking over the surrounding Chicago police, you weave your way through EMT’s and rescued hostages before your path is abruptly cut short by a dark mass with outstretched arms.

“Slow down, Tapeti, he’s making his way out.”

You allow yourself to remain in the man’s arms but don’t halt your hurried steps.

“Then we can meet him in the stairwell, Simon.” You huff out, only partially regretting the way your words tinge with aggression.

He unhooks the back of the strap, grabbing the rifle with one hand and letting it clatter against the sidewalk, not once breaking stride or faltering in pace. 

You get one hand on the doorknob of the side entrance, readying yourself to slam bone against metal once more.  

You don’t get the chance to though, head on a swivel when you hear a nearby glass door shatter in on itself.

And finally, you see Johnny, tired face holding back a pained smile as he holds the door handle in midair.

“Rabbit-“

“-Johnny.”

You waste no time rushing to him, the impact of your body colliding with his almost knocking you both to the ground. 

You feel his shadow guarding the pair of you from onlookers, offering about ten seconds of privacy before Simon is damn near scruffing the back of your neck as he pulls the pair of you into his chest. 

“Jesus Christ, Johnny. Don’t ever do that again.” You mumble into Simon’s shirt, pawing at Johnny’s tac vest and trying to find a patch of skin that isn’t covered by work.

It’s a difficult task, what with Ghost barely allowing you ample space to expand your ribs as you breathe, but you manage to slip off a glove and warm Johnny’s hands yourself.

You feel him shift to lay his head on Simon’s shoulder, wrapping an arm around the man’s waist as he speaks quietly.

“You okay, Bun?”

“Are you okay, Johnny? We couldn’t get ahold of you, not a single thing through comms, not even static.”

He doesn’t respond.

“Johnny?”

You move to pat his hand but it isn’t there.

“John?”

You look up but he’s gone entirely.

You spin around, cover your arms over your thin shirt no longer protected by two sets of arms.

“Ghost?”

You spin again but you’re entirely alone on the street.

The cops’ red and blue lights still flash, doors wide open.

The back ambulance doors reveal the inside, the space that held the empty gurney that now sits mere feet away from you.

“Simon?”

The wind howls but doesn’t shake the trees.

“Gaz?”

Your ears ring above the silence.

“Price?”

You feel the hairs on your arms stand.

“Santiago?”

You hear a knock.

“Bunny? You in there, hen?”

Shifting your arms, you feel the stickiness of the sheets beneath you.

He knocks again.

Scrambling out of bed, you kick your shoes out of the way of the door and open it hastily.

“Good mornin’, sunshine. We were knockin’ quite a while. Must’ve been pretty knocked out.”

Your shoulders loosen seeing his smile, no longer feeling the urge to curl in on yourself.

“Oh, uh, yeah I guess so. Had kind of a weird dream.”

You feel Simon’s eyes on you, send him a smile as Johnny brushes past you and into the room.

“Anything in particular?”

You turn back to Simon, motion for him to make his way out of the doorway and into the room as you answer his question.

“Not really, mostly just replaying yesterday. Just cataloging, you know the drill.”

Well, except for the part where everyone vanished and left me stranded in the middle of Chicago searching for Santiago.

Guess I was calling out for two ghosts.

“Eh, as long as it wasn’t the weird armadillo one again. God knows what that one’s about. Anyways, you showering before brek, Bun? You stink.” Johnny smooths the duvet over the damp sheets, laying down with a groan and stretching his side.

“Yeah, I’ll make it a quick one. You waiting here?”

You don’t miss the way it comes out, the tinge of vulnerability towards the end of your words.

Neither does Simon.

Johnny lets out a hum, arms above his head and moving to stretch out his other side.

Simon steps forward, untucks the string of your hoodie.

“Shower, Tapeti.”

He sits on the edge of the bed.

“We’ll be here.”

-

<3

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[bloodmoonmuses]

should've, could've, would've. | bang chan

genre: bang chan x reader with some good ol' angst! warnings: none!

I really could’ve picked a better time to have this conversation, you think as you saunter up to the familiar door. 

Despite your intrusive thoughts, you knock four times and, almost as if he were expecting it, Chan opens the door promptly.

“Hey. You’re drenched.” You yank at the hem of your rain soaked sweater and recoil from the feeling of it clinging to your body.

“Didn’t check the weather.” A pause. “Also… I couldn’t sleep,” You add sheepishly. The epithet ends up sounding like more of an excuse than anything, but it’s true. You couldn’t stand staring at the ceiling, thinking of what you were going to say to him, for another minute. It was driving you crazy.

Chan looks down at his apple watch. It’s 2:09am.

“Evidently, I couldn’t either,” he says, rubbing his sleep deprived eyes. 

“Well, I don’t wanna bother you so-”

“Oh, shut up. Get in here.” He gently grasps your elbow and guides you inside his apartment. It’s dark, save for the illumination from the two candles he has lit. You inhale. Bergamot. That’s new.

Chan quickly scans your face and you know he can tell you’ve been crying. He can always tell. You divert your gaze and, thankfully, he doesn’t say anything. But he knows. And the fact that he does gets more and more embarrassing each time it happens.

You’re finally made aware of how cold you actually are when you shiver in response to the body heat radiating off Chan.

“Shit,” he says. “Lemme get you some clothes.” Quick on the uptake, and so in tune with all things you. Sometimes it was exhausting. When he withdraws to his room, you take a seat on the navy blue couch you’re all too familiar with. 

Maybe I should’ve just gone home. What am I gonna do when I move?

Chan returns with a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt. You thank him and go to the bathroom to change. When you catch a glance of yourself in the mirror, you almost gasp. It’s fine, you think. Chan is my friend. This is what friends are for.

Chan was the one who recommended taking walks to soothe your insomnia all those years ago, and here you are- still heeding his advice. What he couldn’t predict, however, was that every time you went on said walk, you’d end up in his arms. The first few times were a fluke- awkward, clunky. His embrace caused more anxiety than comfort, and you were under the impression that it wouldn’t continue. But as the years went by, it became routine.

There wasn’t an instant click, not even when your friendship began. Everything was gradual, slow, deliberate. That was what defined your relationship. So when your feelings began to morph into something more than friendship, you weren’t surprised. Because that meant there was only a matter of time before those feelings became bigger than a fleeting spark, or a hand held for hours at a time, or dreams told over gin and white wine. 

Now, as you donned his clothes, smelling of detergent and something so distinctly Chan, you were anxious. Anxious to tell him you were leaving, anxious that even the slightest objection from him would make you stay, and anxious that he had that much power over you- even in your head. 

But it was your dream. And you couldn’t wait around for your feelings to bubble to the surface. You had to squash them down while you still had the chance. This seemed to be your only chance, unfortunately.

“Wanna talk about it?” Chan asks with soft eyes, extending a mug of tea in your direction. You silently thank him for it with a nod, and go to sit on his couch. He joins you.

“I’m sorry for doing this so often. It must get annoying.”

“You’re not annoying. I’ll say it every time if I have to.” He takes a sip of his own tea, and looks at you blankly. You wish you could read his mind, like he can yours. 

“Movie?” He continues, eyes boring into the side of your head. You fight the urge to return his gaze, but ultimately fail. Huge mistake.

Now you wish he'd stop looking at you like that- like this. Like he loves you. Like he’d do anything for you…

“Disney always cheers you up, yeah?” 

He picks up the remote and turns on the TV, trying to ease you into some type of comfort. Usually, by now, you’d be divulging every problem to him. The air is suffocatingly thick. 

I just wanna talk. Why can’t I say that? Chan, I wanna talk. See? It’s not that hard, you think.

 “Princess and the Frog,” he says with a smile. “That’s your favorite.” 

“I’m moving back to America.” Your mouth is moving before your heart has time to catch up. “It’s my dream job.” 

His eyes meet yours, painfully, as he registers the words that have come out of your mouth. It’s funny, really, with the opening credits of Princess and the Frog revving up in the background… Chan realizes this too, and slowly, he turns off the TV. When he puts the remote back down, his mouth is slightly agape.

“Oh. When do you leave?” 

‘Oh?’ That’s it? you think. Your heart is breaking. His tone is so… casual. Almost flippant. Anger flares in your chest for a second and then-

“Uh… in, like, two weeks,” you respond.

“Oh,” he says again.

And with your voice barely above a whisper, you say, “I should’ve told you sooner.”

“Yeah.” He looks down at his feet, shifting uncomfortably.

Now you wanna look away? Look at me. Say something. Anything. Please.

“Well, okay. I’ll see you around.” You get up to leave before the tears start flowing, but your vision is already blurred. “Thanks for the clothes,” You manage to mutter. 

Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry…

When you reach the doorknob, Chan stops you.

“Hey. Let me drive you home.” He can’t even look at you, not really. Even now, his eyes are cast towards the hand that delicately clasps your elbow. Nothing forceful, just enough to keep your attention. “It’s raining really hard,” he continues.

“I don’t think I could handle that.” You say, voice breaking entirely.

“Can I give you my umbrella then?” He pleads. 

“Uh, sure,” you say meekly. Chan retreats to his room and returns with a black umbrella. 

“Here.” 

You’re fully crying now, desperate for air, unable to take a full breath. 

“Thank you. For everything.” You say between gasps. You reach to take the umbrella, but are interrupted by Chan pulling you into a hug instead.

“I’m gonna miss you so much,” he says, the end of his sentence catching in his throat. He holds you tighter than he ever has before. “I’m so proud of you.”  He leans back a bit to look at you, and wipes the tears off of your face with the pads of his thumbs. “You’re gonna be amazing.”

Maybe it’s his messy, curly hair- or the pinkish tinge to his beautiful nose, or the overwhelming feeling of him touching your face- it’s too much. Too much to keep those simmering emotions at bay. And you want to touch him, transfer the heat from your body to his, let him know how much he means to you in ways that words just can't- and it’s painful. He’s still cradling your face in his hands. You silently beg him to let go- let you go.

“I love you.” That’s not enough. “I love you so much.” The confession escapes you in a squeak, broken sobs ripping through your chest.

“I love you too. Shh… it’s okay. It’s okay.” Another hug. This one is impossibly tight, like you could disappear at any moment and Chan is the only thing tethering you to the earth. 

“No, you don’t get it. I love you more than anything Chan.” Then you kiss him, because the words don’t hold enough weight. You need him to understand- to feel your desperation and unspoken devotion.

It’s a gentle peck at first, so soft it could’ve been imagined. It’s timid and cautious, but it’s real. The fire it ignites in you only makes you want more. You don’t even look to see Chan’s reaction before you crash into his lips again, then again, and again- deepening the kiss and letting yourself indulge in the sensation. Toothy, clamoring, and unorganized. Feverish fervor that leaves your fingertips buzzing. 

When you finally come up for air, meeting Chan’s watery eyes, your heart breaks all over again. How much time have you wasted? How many memories had you opted out of in fear? Fear of rejection? Fear of losing your best friend? Fear of being undeserving of a love so all consuming and white-hot? It’s soul crushing. 

Chan speaks, voice slightly hoarse. “Two weeks?” It’s a question.

“Yeah. I leave in two weeks,” you say. Chan nods to himself, places the umbrella he’s been holding against the wall, and takes your hands in his.

“Any stretch of time spent loving you is time well-spent. No apologies. No “what-ifs”. No regrets. If this is how I come to love you-”

“But I should’ve-” you start.

“It’s worth it.”

He tucks you into bed that night, the rain and his warm embrace lulling you to sleep, and for a bit- in that space of limbo right before your body succumbs to slumber- you agree with Chan. 

If this is how the chips fell, it was worth it. The years of confessions held at the tip of your tongue, the myriad of stolen glances, your quiet love- It was all worth it. 

You don’t know what awaits you in the morning. All you know is that you love Chan and he loves you. For now, that’s enough. 

[steampunkforever]

Rushing this to print as I’ve just seen Barbie. Frankly, it lived up to the hype. Did not exceed it.

When people talk about how Continental (read: mostly French) philosophy and art movements precede American ones by roughly ten years, they aren’t kidding. Which is to say that the Barbie Movie (2023)’s fresh whip-smart metamodernist style can be found in what French surrealist horror comedy Rubber was doing in 2010.

Barbie’s plotline exhibits this through a hyperselfawareness that utilizes childlike naïveté (like Elf on five degrees of abstraction) and genre-savvy metacommentary (Existential Ken Doll Dance Offs) to communicate directly to the audience in explicit and unspoken fourth wall breaks. There is the sense that everyone knows they’re in a movie yet they’re still participating in said movie and they cannot just break the fourth wall and escape the narrative despite their knowledge that there is a narrative in the first place.

I’ve got to say that Rubber did it better. This is partially because Barbie doesn’t know what it wants to be (a symptom of a lot of metamodernist texts). One minute Barbie’s getting sexually harassed in stylized but very adult ways, the next minute oversimplifying serious subjects in some attempt to remain child friendly. I feel the other part of this is that, with all respect to Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach, the movie didn’t stick all the landings.

With the caveat that this is Mattel’s Capitalist Propaganda Film and so Greta had a corporate veto hanging over her head, there were some places that could’ve been improved. Chief among them was some of the messaging. The movie had a lot to say about the Patriarchy and the female experience (something Gerwig is an expert at communicating) but toward the end the movie abandoned the narrative excellent social critique and delivered the equivalent of a 30min 50’s anti communist propaganda PSA but for twitterbrained feminism. It wasn’t bad, it was just lazy, preachy writing from people who I know can do better.

The overall length should’ve been 20-30 minutes shorter, and the movie could’ve tightened things up and cut unnecessary plotlines that felt like fluff padding out an extravagant runtime that could’ve been leaned out some.

The ending (up until the very last couple scenes) itself was structurally mushy. Partially as a symptom of the Barbie Movie not knowing what it was, partially as a symptom of mismanaged pacing, but too many loose ends gave it a disorganized feeling that was only saved by a fantastic final sequence.

And that’s the kicker. Greta Gerwig is one of the best directors of our generation and despite some noticeable missteps I enjoyed the movie on both a personal and artistic level. The script is whip smart. The art direction is to die for. The film is beautiful and the performances are fantastic. There’s an extended Ken Doll rock opera song. Barbie visits the gynecologist (Twitter moment). The final sequence had the audience in tears.

Everyone’s gushing over the film already but I need to stress it’s artistic and narrative merit, and that I give Gerwig and Noah a lot of leeway because a Mattel-funded blockbuster of the year is a take the money and run once in a lifetime chance to overindulge, and Gerwigs ambition really paid off even if the landing was bumpy. For a movie with supercharged hype, Barbie satisfied me and made watching the capitalism machine print money feel better than it ever felt this side of Reagan. This is worth the watch, but there’s no need to rush to beat the opening weekend crowds to it either.

I hope they get Werner Herzog to direct the Polly Pocket Movie

[reikunrei]

okay, so, i watched free! the final stroke vol.2 today and i just need to put my Thoughts somewhere.  this will contain spoilers but isn’t any real analysis or anything

i went into it being a little worried, bc folks had been watching it the last few days and i kept seeing lots of people say they were disappointed, etc.  therefore, i went into it expecting to be disappointed while still thinking i’d at least have fun.  ultimately, i think going into it thinking i’d be disappointed made me come out having enjoyed it!  at least, a little bit lol.

basically, i wouldn’t say that i was “disappointed” but more that i was very underwhelmed.

it had some fun moments!  lots of stuff with the underclassmen which made me very happy, since they’ve been shoved aside a lot as of late.  parts that were meant to be serious were very easy to make fun of, which is what i look forward to in this show tbh.  like i loved the asshole baby Haru talking back to adult Haru, and then was ultimately heartwarmed when adult Haru broke through to baby Haru at the very end, i thought that was sweet.  it was fun to see Sousuke come back into his own, and i enjoyed seeing everyone working together in training and whatnot.  i just love seeing them all be friends!

which leads me into how i’m glad that they got through the “Haru is being brooding and distant” really quickly.  perhaps a little too quickly, but it was far better than saving it until the very end (*cough* season 3 being the same runaround every episode until episode 8 *cough*).  i could go more into detail about what i did/didn’t like about this whole thing with Haru and Rin fighting and Haru shutting himself off from everyone else and thrusting himself into swimming so much that he drains his battery completely, but i’m getting over a gnarly cold and don’t feel like thinking too hard.  ultimately, i think it was an interesting direction to take the story, but wasn’t executed as well as it could have been.

but again, overall, i enjoyed that it happened within the first half of the movie so that the second half could be them reconciling, Haru realizing his true potential (that we already learned the source of in season 1 but whatever he can have the same arc over and over again i eat that shit up the power of friendship reigns supreme), and getting to see him really show everyone else what he’s made of.

my biggest issue ultimately with it was how there was a lot of lost potential.  i feel like they could’ve and should’ve leaned more heavily into the Haru/Albert parallel, and how they are like two sides of the same coin.  like Albert was posed as such a big, important character starting in s3, he was the driving force for this new arc in Haru’s character, and he just sort of... petered out?  i feel like a really strong direction would have been to have them basically switch spots.  like, Albert learns how to swim freely like Haru by nurturing strong bonds between friends and doing it simply because you want to, and Haru falling really deeply into the cold, sterile loneliness that Albert was forced into.

that’s the other thing!  we started to see Albert pushing back against his coach, but we never actually saw him break free from it.  it was just sort of posed and then never resolved.  and i feel like it would be really powerful to have had him see Haru swim, learn from him, and then come back and teach that to Haru again.  like Haru’s methods makes Albert stronger, and Albert comes around and says hey, my guy, YOU taught me this.  my way is not the best way.  do it because you enjoy it, and that’s it.

in terms of lost potential, the relationship with Albert was my biggest letdown, purely because he was so hyped up only for him to just sort of... fizzle out.  and i feel like that happened with almost all of the character relationships.  they all just sort of... petered out.  hell, even the final relay felt really lackluster!  in every single other season, the final relays/races make me cry.  even as a certified season 3 hater, watching Haru and Ikuya do the medley relay together makes me cry!  because it’s this big, powerful breakthrough moment for the both of them.

nothing will ever beat the high i felt watching the season 2 final relay.  that shit ruled so hard and the fact that this FINAL final relay didn’t even come close is SUCH a letdown.  like i’m honestly shocked they dropped the ball so hard on it.  like, the intervention with Haru should have been something more dramatic or something!  it was very just “oh hey let’s all hang out on this rooftop pool for a bit” like even the race between Haru and Rin, while more exciting than the final relay, was very just like. okay.  i was just glad to have such a blatant example of crybaby Rin again, but the substance of the race, of their conversation... it was very lackluster.

i’ll be entirely honest too, i actually was really happy with it... until the very end.  like i said at the top, having gone into it expecting to be disappointed, i was pleasantly surprised that i was having so much fun watching it.  bc i really did!  i did have fun watching it!  it was just not a good ending to the series.

i was actually pretty happy with it where it ended before the credits rolled.  i didn’t super love how they just touched on Haru quitting swimming, and then saying he came back again anyway??  like let me TELL YOU i am the biggest proponent for Haru quitting competitive swimming.  it would have been SUCH a great conversation to have, in that he loves swimming, he loves doing this thing with his friends, and he might even enjoy competing sometimes under the right circumstances, but it’s just not good for him.  how GREAT would it have been for him to realize that.  to look at himself shutting down, to have his friends constantly voicing their worry for him, and him going, “oh. i can’t do this,” and having to come to terms with that.  having his FRIENDS have to come to terms with that.  it would have been SO GOOD and been a great story in trying to find a dream, and feeling like it’s okay to go back on that, and your true friends will always back you up even if they’re upset about it at first.  it would have even been a great parallel with Rin quitting swimming as a kid!  but this time it’s a good thing!  like dude!

anyway.

while i did sort of hate that they totally glossed over the quitting and returning thing, i was just sort of like oh cool, i like this sort of ambiguous but happy ending!  idk who this Haru/Makoto lovechild woman is that they keep cutting to closeups of who seems to know who Haru is!  is it his mom!  i can’t remember what she looks like bc she’s never around!  idk!

and then.  the post credits stuff was just.  a mixed bag?  and ultimately made me dislike it more LMAO.  the one thing i really liked was that Haru dug up the time capsule from season 2 and read his letter to himself again, that made me really happy!  bc that was something that i really really really wanted to be remembered.  like that’s something that could have totally been forgotten, but i’m glad it was found and touched on, even if it was just at the very end.

the stuff i didn’t like was.  basically everything else LOL.  mostly because it felt so weird to think that none of these people talk to each other.  like i get it, we’ve long established that Haru doesn’t use his phone or keep in contact with people, but it felt so WRONG for it to just be like “yeah i was in the hospital for a month, i’m doing rehab now, hi Makoto, who had to come hunt me down in hungary and randomly run into me on the street” like WHAT!!!!  hello????  it felt like there was no growth at all.  wasn’t the whole point of the movie, and the WHOLE SHOW, to strengthen the bonds between friends?  and reconnect with old friends?

like i guess you could argue that it’s like “they’re bonded forever.  even if they don’t see each other for a while, they’ll find each other and it’ll be like no time has passed at all” because like.  that was a whole thing and my favorite part of s2, about how “it’s not our last summer together” but like. it just felt so WRONG and backward to display it like that.  it just felt. hollow. and bad.  especially for characters such as Haru and Makoto who are so closely tied to one another and some shade of codependent.  it’s not that it couldn’t have been explored, but it wasn’t even explored.  it was just thrust upon us, and it felt really forced and left an unsavory taste in my mouth.

i think it just sort of felt rushed.  and there was a lot of potential that was set up in s3 and fs1 that just wasn’t followed through on in a satisfying way.  so while there were fun moments, and it was great to see my kids all together again in new scenes and interactions, it was just very. meh.

so okay, i think i’ve talked myself into being disappointed in it.  i’m not really too upset though, because i did indeed still have fun watching it, and will have fun watching it again in the future.  but the show should have ended after season 2 when it was in its prime.

[cowhides]

estar guars

thinking abt darth jar jar and how he’s physically yoda’s opposite (long and gangly vs small and stout, floppy fin ears vs soft pointed elf-ish ears, red vs green, long taut marshland dinosaur face vs circular soft wrinkled face w large eyes, clumsy sloshing/drunken fist vs measured and calculated movements) and how a simple change of body language and voice could easily turn his goofy-esque frame into something way more intimidating. He’s already taller than the human characters, so if he straightened his back and squared his shoulders he’d be quite imposing with that alone. I also think his long floppy gungan fin-ears could potentially frill out like that one lizard and that would go crazy. What looks like a soft duck bill would peel back to show sharp teeth, claws for catching fish now much more sinister looking, same with his eyestalks and the yellow tint they have. I always hated how his feet are weirdly stout and not some kind of froglike webbed situation but then again when you think abt how nimble hippos are in water despite having those same kind of flat stump feet i guess it could work. His typical outfit almost makes his hips seem round and heavy, kind of that goofy silhouette again with a cartoony potbelly, but that extra weight that makes him look approachable could be shriveled away over time/as his plans progress, like how palpatine gets fucked up during he and mace windu’s confrontation in ep 3. I’ve always been partial to the idea that jar jar was darth plagueis and he learned how to escape death (unbeknownst or otherwise to his apprentice, sidious) by either plain bodysnatching a nearby outcasted gungan or potentially, if we were to rmr ep 9 despite how ludicrous it is and how much i hate it, he could’ve latched onto a force sensitive person and had them spontaneously reproduce and birth him, like palpatine apparently had shmi do w anakin. I think if lucas had had his friendly voice be less like a loud nasal honk/squeak and not in that forced and kinda 😬 space-patois, his original arc could’ve been preserved and his presence would be more tolerable. Bc i get that he wanted him to be unassuming but it just swung too far in that direction and made him loathesome rather than sneaky. I think his post-reveal voice should’ve been a sort of gravelly reptilian hiss too, really spooky that way but still making sense w his biology as opposed to a generic Evil Guy Voice. I also think the king gungan should’ve looked more like the rest of them lmao instead of looking like another species entirely, maybe with different coloring or some sort of frill/crest to make him stand out, like how queen bees look slightly different from regular bees.

Speaking of, i wish they had padme not be a teenage queen but then also say that naboo apparently has elections. Either she’s a teenage monarch from a royal family thrust into power v suddenly like king tut Or the planet has free elections and someone maybe a parent was elected to a position of power. I get that they didn’t want to do another princess after leia but she could’ve been an ambassadors daughter or smth who went into politics herself once she was old enough and it would’ve made way more sense. Maybe this is elaborated on more in the eu but as far as the movies go it’s just kinda funky and messes with my suspension of belief more than droids and space magic ever could.

I also think when it comes to baby anakin in ep 1 that choosing to make him sort of…idk over-competent was the worst mistake when it came to his character. If midichlorians were going to be involved it would’ve been way more interesting for anakin to have a low to nonexistent mc count and that be the puzzling aspect, not the opposite. It would’ve been way more interesting to see him struggle to keep up through the events of ep 1/being constantly compared to other padawans and that be why the council discounts him so readily, even when he’s grown. I always wanted him to be saved from maul by obi wan more directly, maybe even with obi having to choose between him and qui gon, with qg urging him to protect and train anakin and sacrificing himself to buy them time to escape or smth. it’s like lucas felt the need to prove anakins legitimacy to us when like…we already know who he’s going to be lol there was no need for that, and having him be vulnerable and be a traumatized child instead of a self insert for the kids in the audience/george himself would’ve been way more emotionally poignant and also call the jedi order’s abducted child soldier practices into question way earlier, bc the movies don’t touch on that enough imo even when their other flaws (aiding and abetting a hawkish neoliberal regime, repressing emotions to the detriment of everyone around them, relentless bureaucracy and top down hierarchy, general aloofness and lack of concern towards the galactic citizens they snatch force-sensitive younglings from) are more evident. I did always love the yellow cruiser he flew in ep 1 though lol it’s v elegant. But I wish Naboo had been a little more adventurous with its architecture bc it just looks like the venetian hotel sometimes. It’s just a letdown when the gungan city was so cool.

Anyway. the masculine urge to blame all of sws problems on toy merchandizing.

[viscountessevie]

Tagged by the lovely @mermaidsirennikita thanks for the tag! SO SORRY this is months late shxkdjks.

Also to note; I wrote 90% of this post about 4 months ago?? On a call with the brilliant @sophiamariabeckett and @hptriviachamp so that's why they get mentioned alot, anyway let's get to it!

Nickname: S, [Redacted - IYKYK], Sahara,Vi, Evie [I think I’m mostly used to S and Sahara, the latter two are derived from my username lol]

I used to go by Sky when I was younger because people butchered my name but it was also given to me by an ex-friend who tried to whitewash me so I have YEETED that name (will never ever go by it again) and fully embraced my Indian name and culture. Anyways I digress, Sky also earned me the nicknames Sunny, Cloudy, Sunshine. 

Sign: A Fire Sign that fits me

Height: 5′0/155cm

Last thing I Googled: 

[Yall thank Trivia for this search and it’s so fitting for me!]

Song stuck in my head: Would’ve, Should’ve, Could’ve by Taylor Swift (also at this moment: Lavender Haze Acoustic version)

Number of Followers: Over 3k (but 80% are abandoned accounts or probably bots - also you gotta remember I've had this account for 8 years over 3 major fandoms so it's accumulation of that)

Amount of Sleep: 3 to 6 Hours - a lot of afternoon naps 

Lucky number: 8, 19

Dream Job: Novelist and Screenwriter

The List of People I Wanna Work Woth (ranking in order of how much I wanna to work with them): Simone Ashley, Oliver Jackson-Cohen, Zawe Ashton, Frieda Pinto & Dev Patel (tied), Zendaya

Creatives: Wanna write with Mindy Kaling and Trevor Noah, write for Margot Robbie (as executive producer), Cathy Yun, and Jordan Peele

Special mention to Tom Hiddleston, Rahul Kohli and Chloe Zhao for being icons I admire but my writing style/stories and their resumes are in direct conflict 😂

Wearing: A sheer black shirt, it’s giving Simone's Shirt-Dress at Paris Fashion Week

Actually at this very moment (3rd April) though I am wearing this:

The shirt ties in the front and I have cream shorts on. Someone once told me I look like a hot baseball player in this fit lol

Movies/Books That Summarize Me:

Books: 

- A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket (very first book I ever read on my own) 

- The Hunger Games series & TBoSaS by Suzanne Collins 

- Every single Cecelia Ahern book

(save for her YA series and The Year I Met You)

- Shatter Me series by Tahereh Mafi

- To All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven 

- The Celebrity Quartet series by Taylor Jenkins Reid

[Hugo, Daisy Jones, Malibu Rising, gotta read Carrie Soto soon]

- A Lady For A Duke by Alexis Hall

- What I Did For A Duke by Julie Ann Long

Movies:

90s/00s Rom Coms - that entire genre and era changed me as a person. 

10 Things I Hate About You 

Legally Blonde 

Confession of Shopaholic 

Adding A Barbie Section at the request of Belle & Trivia: 

Mermaid’s Tale, An Island Princess and of course Princess & The Pauper changed everyone's lives

Contemporaries: 

Mr. Malcolm’s List 

The Batman 

Do Revenge 

Look Both Ways

Emily

Shows (Added this in cos Shows have shaped me more than movies): 

Wizards of Waverly Place 

Gossip Girl 

The Royals

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

The Mindy Project 

All Michael Schur shows except Parks & Rec (it was fine but not my vibe) 

Jane The Virgin (BUT I do not claim S5)

Favorite song: Changes depending on the day but I will always go back to Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen 

Special Mention: Right Where You Left Me and Nothing New by TS

Favorite instrument: Guitar to play because I played it when I was 8; piano and violin to listen to - I really am a strings bitch huh 

Aesthetic: I love dressing up in different styles and aesthetics tbh and I would say I dress how I feel. I dress up more when I'm happier and have a lot of statement pieces, more casual when I'm feeling lazy or depressed. But with the statement pieces, I'd say I'm giving theatre kid and I like to dress up like a Hollywood starlet sometimes lmao.

Favorite Author: I have no idea tbh. There's not one single author I've read all their books and liked. Hmm maybe Lemony Snicket but I haven't read Asking All The Right Questions yet. But all the books and authors listed above are a good range.

Ohmygod Cecelia Ahern - I've read and loved all her books!! Shoutout to my mom for getting me into her books during my teen years

Favorite Animal Noise: Rattlesnakes, Elephant’s Trumpet with the whole show of their trunks, Seal clapping and Hyena giggles

Random: So this section is the reason I didn't finish this post when Caro tagged me in it months ago lmao sorry C but now I have a fun random fact to share!

I'm currently on vacation in a tropical country rn and the villa I'm staying in feels so much like Donna's Villa in Mamma Mia - I love it so much! (I might reblog and share pictures of this place in the future but rn I'd like not to doxx myself lol) It's hella homey and I LOVE all the animals here; they have 4 dogs and 2 cats who are all my besties now. (I've never been a big pet person and now I want one)

[writerwrites]

It’s Meant to Feel That Way

Pairing: Andy Barber x Reader

Summary: Two strangers in a grocery store are brought together by a little boy determined to make them a family.

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: Fluff, Defending Jacob non-canon ending, brief mention of grief/child loss, brief mention of absentee parent 

A/N: *THIS IS NOW A MINI-SERIES* I’m trying to jump back into writing, so feedback is both very appreciated and very scary for my anxious self. Be gentle please. Also, don’t translate or post my work on other sites. | Playlist | Dividers by @firefly-graphics​

Series Masterlist  .  Complete Masterlist

“Daddy!” The excited cheer and the rapid scampering footsteps in Andy’s direction made him immediately tense. Nothing could prepare him for the smack of a little body into his legs or the tug of tiny hands on the hem of his suit jacket.

When he exhaled a long, slow breath and looked down, excited eyes stared up at him. His routine of grocery shopping late Thursday nights was now interrupted by a pajama-clad toddler. “Hey, pal. Where’s your mah?”

“Uppy?” The little boy’s big eyes now glimmered with tears, despite the big smile, and a familiar tug on his heart and he slipped his hands under the kid’s arms to scoop him up before he started wailing. Before Andy could ask his question again, the little boy’s small hands were on Andy’s beard giggling, “Daddy, you’re prickly!” Swallowing, he smiled a crooked smile as he noticed a familiarity in the coloring in the little boy’s irises, blue with hints of yellow-green near the pupils. Laurie used to say Jacob had sunflowers in his eyes. The thought of his ex-wife and their late son made him sniffle. This little guy in his arms quickly threw them around Andy’s neck, “Don’t cry, Daddy! I’m so happy you’re finally here.”

Andy patted the little boy on the back, exhaling a shaky breath before adjusting the kid’s weight and picking up his grocery basket, “Which way’s your mah?” Moving out of the aisle toward the checkout, he adjusted his Red Sox cap to get a better look down the deserted store. The closer he got to the front, Andy heard the panicked rambling of a woman. “I think I found what you’re looking for.”

Your head snapped so quickly at the sound of his deep voice that he thought you might be about to hit him. His step back made you immediately melt with relief and apologies as your gaze raked up his body. It wasn’t until you saw Andy’s face that you realized exactly what was happening. “I’m so sorry. C’mere, Bubba,” You tried to peel your son off the unsuspecting and gorgeous stranger but he nuzzled his face into the man’s neck and clung onto him tighter. “This is all my fault. I’m really so sorry. C’mon, AJ.”

With a few gentle pats to the little boy’s back, Andy tried to coax him to let go. “I’m not sure what you’re apologizing for, but it’s okay. He’s a sweet little guy but…” Andy felt the steady, gentle breaths on his neck, “It’s late and he’s out like a light.”

He studied your face as a new pained look of anxiety settled there. “This is all my fault. He’s gotten really into superheroes and we were marathoning those Marvel movies. Ever since he started asking about his dad, I could only manage to tell him that he was off saving the world…” You swiped your hand almost angrily at the silent tear that fell down your cheek before continuing. “I didn’t think he’d connect that to his dad, but I think you kind of look like… We just watched Infinity War.” Andy’s eyebrows knit together with confusion, still not sure what she meant. “It’s why we’re even here this late. I should’ve known it was too scary for him. He hasn’t slept since his nap yesterday afternoon. I was trying to find those melatonin gummies.”

“Look, it’s okay, really. I’m pretty much done, let’s go find that and maybe the longer he’s out he’ll actually stay asleep and you won’t need to use it.” Andy offered an empathetic smile and nodded toward the aisle the little guy must have ran from. “My son wasn’t easy to get down at night. I wish it could’ve been as simple as a gummy or carrying him around for a few minutes.”

Your eyes lit up for a moment at the mention that he’d been in your shoes, but when you looked at him you saw how set his jaw was, clearly not wanting to talk about his family. Instead you focused on how this man’s broad hand kept gently rubbing your son’s back, your own trick to hush him to sleep. Swallowing, you moved and kept your eyes on the items on the shelves, walking slowly through rows of vitamins and generic medicine. “His dad’s in the military. I don’t actually know anything else about him, not really. Child support comes in, but he’s not interested in a relationship with him. One mistake changed my whole life, but at least it was a change for the better. I know, all too well, that most people’s mistakes cost them everything.”

Andy wondered if this was your way of telling him that you knew who he was or about the case. Initially, after the crash when both Laurie and Jacob were in the hospital he’d left the practice. After Jacob passed and Laurie divorced him he needed the familiarity and, frankly, a job that could take up as much time as he was willing to let it. It was part of the reason he grocery shopped so late, coming straight from work while also avoiding anyone that could possibly recognize him. He’d been studying your face, waiting for some sort of recognition and instead found a tired young woman that lit up at the sight of melatonin gummies. “I think you might not need it tonight. I just have a few more things to grab, if you don’t mind, and then I can help put him in his car seat.”

“You really don’t have to do that.”

“It’s kind of comforting, honestly. My son, he’s gone and his mother and I aren’t…” Andy trailed off, lowering his gaze to the groceries in the basket he was lugging around. Her eyes moved from the sadness in his eyes to the way AJ clung to him- even in his sleep, and then to the basket full of freezer food.

“Let’s get your groceries, but I’m going to have to insist that you let me pay you back with a real dinner.” Andy couldn’t remember the last time he had a home cooked meal. It wasn’t that he couldn’t cook, but Laurie had done it before and on the rare times he did it was for a family of three with the intent of both Laurie and himself having leftovers for work the next day. His mouth bobbed open to protest, maybe to mention the hour or to ask for a rain check that he’d never fulfill, but you were faster. “I said, I insist.”

Your smile was warm and bright, even though you really did look exhausted. With a nod and a smile that mirrored yours the pair of you walked through the store, fairly quiet aside from your humming of the song playing overhead. He grabbed some more overly processed chronic bachelor foods and you picked up a few more things to make him dinner before checking out. By the time your son was buckled into the car, you realized just how crazy inviting a nameless stranger you just let carry your kid around the grocery store. As if he was reading your mind, the man gently shut the door and opened yours, “I’m Andy, by the way. Andrew Barber, technically, but no one ever calls me that.”

With a look of surprise you glanced into the back seat, “That little guy is Andrew, too. Andrew Joyner, but I’ve always called him AJ.” You gave him your name and address, noticing how he’d been a little distracted by your sleeping son as you spoke. Though you’d never seen AJ’s father with AJ, you’d always hoped that he’d look at AJ like that, like the world started and stopped with those eyes. It was at that moment, Andy took off his ball cap and you really saw his eyes and just how similar the color was to your son’s, his only trait he shared with his father. “Want me to wait so you can follow us?” He shook his head and smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. With a nod, you made your way home and tried to pull yourself together by mentally walking through the steps of the meal you were about to make.

Andy pulled in just a few short moments after you and he was quick to shuffle around to help, “I got him. Why don’t you get the door?” His thoughtfulness was jarring and you couldn’t help but recall the few dates you’d been on since AJ was born. Men never opened doors anymore, several ‘forgot their wallet’ on expensive dates, and the few that made it long enough for you to mention AJ ghosted. “Your home is beautiful.” His eyes moved around the open concept of your small two story home, seemingly ignoring the toys strewn across the living room and the basket of laundry with your panties on top right by the open laundry room door. Instead he stopped at the wall by the door, covered in pictures of your family. “Wow, he looks like he’s the happiest little guy in the world.”

You took the opportunity to pick up a few things as you moved further into the house. “He’s always been super easy. Honestly, today was the first real heart attack he’s given me.”

Andy’s eyes found yours in every picture, too. The lawyer couldn’t help but notice that you were always so happy with AJ in your arms and a little lost when alone, but you’d turned a corner now and he couldn’t see you, only hear the cautious clang of pots being gently pulled down. “What is it you do, if you don’t mind my asking?” Andy sat at one of the stools on the kitchen island, a little relieved that you hadn’t led him straight to AJ’s room to put him down because he found comfort in those small arms sleep-hugging him as he patted his back. “I’m a lawyer, if I didn’t mention that.”

“Fancy!” You chuckled softly, wiggling your shoulders a little as you looked back at him from the sink where you filled a pot with water. “I’m a freelance graphic designer.” After the pot was on the stove, you pointed to a door off of the living room behind him. “I get to work from home and as much as I want or need to. Mostly, I’m with him all day and work at night after he goes to bed.”

“Is that what you always wanted to do?” Andy had so many questions he wanted to ask you, but the ones that seemed to come out were so surface level. His eyes fell to the little boy asleep in his arms and, as if he felt Andy’s heart stutter and swell, he stirred, just a little. AJ’s face nuzzled further into the corner of Andy’s neck, his little nose twitching at the tickle of his beard. Rocking his hips with the swivel of the chair, the corner of Andy’s mouth turned up in a smile and, looking up when he realized you hadn’t answered, he caught you watching him. “Has he always been…”

“Easy to love?” Andy nodded and your smile grew. “I like to think so, but this is different. I think he chose you.” Biting your lip you turned around, not finishing your thought aloud. As you stirred the sauce into noodles, adding more seasoning and lowering the temperature, you let out a slow sigh and then answered his question. “I was that kid that never knew what they wanted to be, head always in the clouds, and I think that creativity helped me be successful in this job. I just helped a few friends here and there, word of mouth helped my clientele expand, and bit by bit I established something successful. I really do love it, but I might not love it so much if it wasn’t for the fact that it lets me do what I really want to do every day.”

It was obvious Andy had been listening to you intently. His hand had paused on AJ’s back, his rocking back and forth had slowed and a small creased line formed between his eyebrows as if he was about to ask another question, but instead asked, “Should we get him to bed while it’s simmering?”

With a nod and a soft smile, you couldn’t help but wonder what he wasn’t saying. Nevertheless, you led him to the stairs. Andy followed you slowly, stopping as he looked at the art and pictures on the walls before he made it to the top. There were three doors and the one straight ahead was open to a duck themed bathroom that dizzied Andy with the sweet floral scent of your perfume. Turning left to follow you into a blue-green bedroom, he took in the simple space with a small bookshelf stuffed with books, a spaceship bed with Finding Nemo blankets and a stuffed giraffe, and the various toys strewn about the room were just as diverse. Overall, it was mostly empty and he could see the little guy growing up in that house, finding himself. For a moment sadness washed over Andy’s expression and you wanted to reach out and hug him, certain he was probably thinking about his own boy’s room. Instead, you stepped aside and picked up toys, watching Andy tuck AJ in out of the corner of your eye. “I’m amazed he let you go.”

A soft chuckle, weighted with sadness, quietly passed his lips as the man stood back up to his full height and gazed down at your son. There was an obvious tenderness to that look, longing. Before he turned and headed out of the bedroom, Andy faintly whispered, “Sweet dreams, Bubba.”

You smiled at him, aware he’d used your nickname for your son, before following him down to the kitchen after cracking AJ’s door. Andy watched you walk down the stairs and you couldn’t help but feel aware of what you looked like after a long day of chasing your boy around. Your fingertips toyed with the hem of your jeans as you used every ounce of restraint to stop yourself from fidgeting with your hair or staring at how long and lean the attractive lawyer looked perched on the stool waiting for you. Instead, you headed straight to the cabinet and pulled down a shallow plate to serve up, “Spaghetti pomodoro was one of the first things I learned how to cook. Would you like something to drink? I usually have mine with white wine, but I have beer, water, orange juice, and apple juice.”

“I’ll have it like you do, but just a little since I’m driving.” Andy looked down at the plate and back at you, had you been looking you might have noticed the way questions seemed to dance across his face again. “It smells amazing. Thank you, you really didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I wanted to.”

You cleaned the dishes while he ate, both of you periodically asking each other questions or stealing glances. There were no uncomfortable silences, he didn’t irritate you with slurping or chomping, and he even offered to help you clean while praising your cooking. As the two of you walked to the door he held up the container of leftovers you gave him. “Thank you. I’m already looking forward to lunch tomorrow.”

Before you could stop yourself you asked, “But what about dinner?”

Andy turned on his heel and looked down at you, the porch light offering up a warm glow that was only highlighting his smile. “I would need to bring you back the container.”

“Then I guess you’ll just have to join us again. What time do you get off work?” After plans were made and numbers were exchanged you offered up a soft, “We’ll see you tomorrow and I promise I’ll talk to AJ about calling you Mr. Barb-”

“It’s fine, sweetheart. Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you tomorrow.” The lawyer was quick to cut you off, his nonchalance over what your son called him making your forehead wrinkle.

He leaned down and kissed your forehead, giving your shoulder a squeeze. Confused, all you could manage was a whispered, “Goodnight, Andy.”

The way that man looked back at you from the bottom of the stairs with an unpracticed, soft smile only to say, “G’night.” Well, you had a reason to toss and turn tonight.

A/N: The next part is partially written and I think I’d like to see what people thought about this story before I put more heart into it. I’ve just been gone so long that I’m not sure anyone’s even around. Hi, it’s me, your favorite flake 😂 

UPDATE: If you missed it at the top, I’ve added a Part 2!

Tags are open, just send an ask. You can also be asked to be taken off. I won’t get butthurt 💙 

All Content: @tom-hlover  @marvelouslytrekking @https-cali @saiyanprincessswanie  @velvetcardiganbucky  @caplanbuckybarnes  @traumschiffe @meetmeatyourworst 

Chris Evans Characters Content: @patzammit​ @drabblewithfrannybarnes​

[martianbugsbunny]

OUAT Thoughts Pt.32--Episodes 22-1

I have watched through S4E1; spoilers DNI. Also, spoiler warning for anyone further behind than I am.

—My feels have been decimated. I should’ve expected a scene wherein Rumple visited Bae’s grave, but I didn’t. OUCH. —It’s pretty cool that Snow and Charming named their son Neal. I wonder how Rumple feels about that.

—Men who wear rings are>>>>>>>>

—I just can’t stand that Dr. Hopper officiated Rumple’s wedding. *weeping happily* *definitely got hit in the feels again* *actually having a pretty good time for once* Is he licensed to do that tho? Also, I adore that he’s the kinda guy who cries at weddings 🥰

—I knew it was a bad idea for Emma to bring that lady back, but I didn’t know it would be this bad! Of all the ladies sentenced to death she could’ve saved, she had to save Marian?

—Look, I love Elsa more than life, but there ain’t no way she’s not gonna hog the spotlight at some point. Her own sister gets trampled to tell her story—which I don’t mind, because Elsa’s story kills me me in the most beautiful way—but these others characters don’t stand a chance.

—It’s so fun that Emma gets to be in the book now!

—I want Hook and Emma to be together, but I’m not entirely sure I have faith in her feelings for him. She’s acting kinda weirdy, so I’m not sure it’s completely legit.

—I’m so sick of Aurora and Philip. I hate them for being in Storybrooke.

—Time will tell whether I end up pleased with the Frozen characters or wish they’d just gone for a fresh Winter’s Child idea. So far, this is much more Frozen than any of the other stories have been their source material.

—I do know that I’m not thrilled with Elsa’s design. I would’ve liked her face to match her original design more—some purple eyeshadow, a darker shade of lipstick, and if not thick, at least full eyelashes. And her dress should’ve gone in the opposite direction; her ice clothes are literally impossible to recreate in a satisfactory manner. Besides, the other princesses don’t wear their signature clothes. (Hmmm…I’m starting to see a trend here.) I really would’ve loved to see a new Elsa dress, maybe reminiscent of the original, but something new and different. Also I’m mad that Anna is just wearing her movie outfit, too.

—But Elsa is still a gorgeous gorgeous girl. So pretty. Stunning.

—Sydney has really just been in the basement this whole time. Poor guy.

—The dancing scene with Belle and Rumple was outstanding. Using the Beauty and the Beast song? Iconic. Finally getting see Belle in a proper princessy dress? No complaints there. RUMPLE IN A FAIRYTALE PRINCE OUTFIT? I’M ABOUT TO COMBUST!!!!

—I’m glad I’m not Regina. Having Robin reaffirm his commitment to his marriage (note: not necessarily to Marian herself, cause he’s lived without her for a while) would’ve just made me fall in love with him more.

—I love the way this show depicts the way people change each other. It’s not just the big, dramatic things, like how Henry changed Regina or how Belle changed Rumple; it’s the little flashbacks that show us how Baelfire shaped Emma’s worldview. People are like different waves in the ocean: we bump into each other all the time, flowing into each other’s lives and experiences, and each time we do we shift each other’s trajectories ever-so-slightly. It’s beautiful.

—Yeah, I’m putting myself off the fence. I do not like the start the Frozen stuff has gotten. It’s too much like the movie.

—Lmao Belle’s last name is literally French.

—Is that the hat from the Sorcerer’s Apprentice? Because good golly I would like to see Yen Sid. Mickey Mouse might be a lil preposterous for this show, but Yen Sid could work.

—It’s kinda funny how all the important stuff just ends up in Rumple’s store. It’s also kinda funny that in all of Storybrooke’s crises, there hasn’t been a single mob raid on that store.

—Anna is serving some young Natalie Portman vibes (specifically, Padme) and I’m low-key here for it. I mean, I have my issues with Padme, but goshdarnit was she ever pretty.

—Am I finally get to know who wrote that book? I’ve been wondering that since the first season.

—The ice trail Elsa left behind while she was walking through Storybrooke had some major slug energy. Lol

—It might be kinda fun if Elsa and Anna’s parents were sort-of badguys in this movie. They were kinda s u s to begin with, might as well just go whole hog on it. Besides, bad parents are a theme in this show, so it wouldn’t even be out of place.

—I hope we get to see Elsa’s coronation. Have I already said I’m dubious on the Frozen stuff? Yes, I have. But…it has capacity to be different. It has the potential to tell Frozen’s story in a somewhat new way. And most importantly, it has the possibility of seeing Elsa in a pretty coronation outfit and crown.

[subwaysurf45]

Winter Makes Ice (Ep.1)

Summary: you’re captured after a brawl at the Avengers building, Bucky and others must save you before Hydra makes a new Winter Soldier out of you, Bucky has given up that title. 

Episode: One 

Words: 3948

Warning: depiction/description of violence, kidnapping, killing, PTSD, depression. 

A/N: I will be making a masterlist for this specific series!

Masterlist!

Winter Makes Ice (series masterlist)

Time: 1:36pm

Date: September 23rd, 2024

“Bucky, I swear to fucking god-” You threw the person you just knocked out onto the ground of the common room, “you have to get out of here, It’s you or this entire building!” Bucky gave you a sympathetic look as you fought off Hydra agents, your gun fired three shots behind you to another agent you sensed running up. 

“But I can’t leave you!” Bucky screamed back over the fire and bullets, Hydra agents were running in from every which way. The smoke rising made it harder for him to see you and Sam, who was also there a couple seconds ago. Everyone else was trying to stop the agents from the outside or other levels. It was a complete break-in. 

“Fuck all that Bucky, I love you but I can’t love you if you’re dead- Fuck!” You screamed in pure anger as you began hand to hand combat with an agent, he wasn’t good at all so it was a quick take down. “James!” you looked over to just see him standing there, his eyes were watery from the pain and smoke, “you need to fucking leave! Run!” you shouted, waving him off. 

“I love you!” He yelled over, hands cupping his mouth to make sure you heard him.

“I’ll tell you I love you after this, we’ll be okay,” you looked over your shoulder to find three new agents running in, their eyes weren’t even looking at you. You looked back to find Bucky still standing there, “fucking run!” Your throat felt raw, all the screaming and fighting was taking a massive toll on you. 

Bucky took off in the other direction, the fire was subsiding as he got further from you. The serum gave him lungs like no other, so running through fire and smoke was easy. With a frantic mind and tunnel vision his left and right mixed up, all Bucky was trying to find was an exit and it should’ve been easy but he’d turn back after remembering this wasn’t the right hallway. His hand was gripped tightly on his gun while the metal hand held a knife firmly, after getting his mind back he found he could throw better with his left and shoot with his right- his dominant hand is right anyway. 

“Anyone on their com?” Everyone had quickly shoved theirs in during the start of the ambush; half the SHIELD agents weren’t wearing their tactical gear. 

“Rogers is here,” Steve ended his sentence with a grunt. 

“So is Romanoff,” Nat sounded a bit more composed but still out of breath. 

“y/n is down on the main floor, she told me to run because all they’re after is me, someone needs to go down and help her,” he received a few confirmations before focusing back to the task at hand. The bright light of the afternoon sun blinded him for a second, with all the lights shutting off and the smoke it made it seem like it was night. Bucky reached up to rub his eyes to help adjust to the sun but ended up just rubbing smoke and fumes into them, “fuck!” He stumbled back against the closed door as he used his shirt to rub his eyes but that was also covered in his smoke. 

Bucky reached back and grabbed a completely full water jug that was the size of his palm, Bucky could feel his heart shatter as his eyes cleared because it was you who- only a matter of hours ago -was leading a very relaxed meeting about these water bottles, ‘you need to hydrate to stay on your feet’ you had said a couple times. His mind was as clear as his eyes, the way you were screaming at him to leave, the way you stood directly between him and the Hydra agents so they had to shoot through you to get him, the way you kept looking back to him with tears in your eyes because all you wanted was for him to stay but you knew better and sent him away. The tears mixed with the water as he sprayed his face, the smoke clung to his sweat like he did to you after a nightmare. The entire Avengers building was slowly caving in on itself, he could feel his heart lurch with every new piece of the building fall on the inside, he just hoped it didn’t hit you. 

He kept walking further from what he once called home, trying to get a better view of it all. He wanted to look away because he felt like all at once the building could crumble to pieces and consume you with it, there was no saving the building; and quite possibly you. 

“Wh-gent-hu?” Bucky had walked too far away from the building and the coms, all of them were close to low battery because of the last mission. Bucky ran towards the building and couldn’t see anyone on the roof, but as he ran closer the clearer the coms got. “Where-agent-I can’t-what is happ-sto-!” It was three different voices screaming together at once, Bucky whipped the doors open and saw just how much the inside changed. 

The walls weren’t a sophisticated grey anymore but rather charred and black, there was no roof, at all. Bucky ran into the common room to find everyone looking under fallen planks and bars of steel, he started lifting them too. Everyone was running around and screaming at eachother, everyone had a different level of injury. Steve was throwing support beams like nothing, Bucky ran over. “Who are we looking for, Steve?” 

Steve just looked at Bucky with tears falling down his face, his skin was brown with dirt but his tears left trails down his skin. “Bucky, man, I’m sorry…” Steve sniffled and covered his mouth. Natasha had walked over, her hands were shaking and clutching something close to her heart. 

“I think we have our answer,” Nat cried and handed Bucky the water bottles you introduced. 

“Who’s-” he was cut off when Bucky flipped the bottle to check the bottom, and there in your hand writing was your name, and a little heart next to it. 

Bucky felt as though his soul had just left his body, everyone was getting close to giving up the search for you. If your body would be found it would be a miracle for you to still be alive, your lungs would have been fried due to the smoke and a pillar could crush you like it was nothing. Sparks flew off of snapped electrical that could be electrocuting you at this moment, small fires still burned which could be living off our ashes, any of the pure destruction could be killing you. And yet people were giving up, by the look on Steve’s face Bucky knew he should as well. 

Time: 11:45am 

Date: September 23rd, 2024

“So you’re saying we have little squirt bottles, this is fucking great!” Sam laughed, he looked at the clear bottle that was shaped into a big teardrop, the kind marathon runners keep on their belt. He pulled a sharpie out of his pocket and wrote his name. 

You sat next to Bucky who was still feeling the effects of the last mission, it was at a Hydra base to just get intel but even then, it was still hard. Everyone got back a day ago and decided to push the debrief for the next day because of the shared exhaustion. Bucky slept for twelve hours because of it. 

“Do you like them?” you asked, referencing the bottles, you both held yours as you waited for the marker to be passed to you. 

“Anything you do, I like, sweetheart.” Bucky pulled you into his side and cuddled with you for a bit, he had always found your touch was a good way to stay grounded. Your heart beat could be felt anywhere, and Bucky would always try and match it. The marker was passed to you both and you wrote your names, a little heart found its home next to the last letter of your name, Bucky could only smile wide and shake his head and he took the marker and wrote his. 

You and Bucky made your way back to your shared room before cuddling up in bed, a movie was thrown on and you both watched it as your eyes started to close. Bucky was awake, he kept looking down at your head on his shoulder to leave a little kiss, he’d always let his lips linger on the top of your head so he could smell your shampoo. Normally you were clinging to him for warmth but he could feel you were radiating heat, your sweater was actually his and the covers were tucked to you and Bucky got the edge, this wasn’t new for him. You were almost asleep but still every minute or so you’d subconsciously snuggle your cheek deeper into Bucky’s shoulder, small little circles in Bucky’s shoulder as you got more comfy. 

Bucky ended up falling asleep too, it was weird when he would wake and realize how vulnerable he was to be asleep with you beside him and the door unlocked, he would smile at himself and make a mental note to bring it up to his therapist that he slept soundly again. Bucky probably could’ve gone the entire night but was woken up by a hard time breathing, something was caught in his throat so his cough woke him up. Then his dry cough woke you up, right away your nose turned up at the smell. 

“Smells like burnt,” you said and stood up, a couple joints popping back into place. 

“Ya, that’s what it was,” Bucky nodded, he pulled his shirt over his nose. 

“Wanda needs to leave Nat alone with the cooking thing, Nat doesn’t like to cook so I don’t know why Wanda keeps bugging her, right?” you turned back to Bucky, he was nodding along. “Everyone has their thing, cooking isn’t Nat’s thing but that's fine,” you sighed, “I’m gonna actually talk to Wanda about-” 

Three bangs landed right on your door, you jumped back from it and Bucky stood up. Two guns were pulled out of the bedside tables, Bucky tossed one of them to you. The banging went again and it wasn’t a friendly bang, you both knew this wasn’t one of your friends. The safety of the guns were both pulled back with a ticking sound, Bucky put his clip in his gun, you like to use a revolver and it was already ready. The top hinge blew off and the door slightly fell forward, the lights were off and the emergency ones gave little light, there was smoke crawling through the cracks in the door. Bucky had made his way to the other side of the bed to you, now you were both in front of the door. 

“Who do you think it is?” You whispered to him, your shoulders rubbed against his with quick breathes. 

“No idea,” Bucky muttered back, his lips barely moved. 

The door busted down and because you both were ready the guy didn’t stand a chance, the intruder fell back in an instant at the rapid fire from the guns, the sound would be as loud as the banging on the door. The intruder wasn’t even ready to fire, his gun flipped out of his holster and slid a tiny bit on the tile floors before stopping. The emergency lights hit the silver gun perfectly, you noticed red on it but it didn’t look like blood, there was some type of symbol or branding on it. You slowly walked closer, your bare feet not giving away you were moving in case someone was waiting before the threshold of the door. 

“Bucky…” you whispered and turned to him, “you gotta get out of here,” you slowly bent down and picked up the gun, the Hydra symbol was hard to see now that it was not getting any light. Bucky’s nostrils flared as a way to hide what he was feeling, his mouth opened to try and talk this through but the sounds of coughing, guns, and screams took its place. 

You both ran to the common room, everyone was there, fighting an agent. Coming from a third angle you took out some of the agents with your gun, they didn’t see it coming; neither did Nat as she pointed her gun in your direction. 

“They want their intel back, go to the computers!” Steve screamed, you turned and ran. 

Bucky joined the fight in the common room, he kept looking back to see you getting smaller and smaller down the hall. All he had was his gun and a knife he picked up from his dresser, both were used as more and more Hydra agents ran in and came from the ceiling that was falling apart. 

You turned quickly into the room, computers and wires everywhere. Your time was spent in the training room rather than here, but you logged in mission reports on the computers. Hard drives of every mission, every person, and every thing were connected everywhere. Tons of information that could give Hydra the upperhand, there were still hard drives you had just stolen from Hydra that no one had looked into yet. This was all they wanted, but it was weird to see how many agents were coming in and not making their way to the intel room. You stood on guard with your gun out and ready, you weren’t wearing anything protective so you stood behind an old computer that was yet to be thrown out. 

A man walked in, he was tall and slim. Brown hair curled down to his shoulders and his eyes were a dark green, they pierced right through you. You were about to shoot but he just put out his hand, his index finger coming up and wagging you off. “I wouldn’t do that,” he warned, his voice was like gravel. 

“Why not?” You grunted, finger ready on the trigger. 

He didn’t even reach for his gun, his hands out in front of him. “Because, you’d never shoot the messenger, would you?” His hands lowered but he kept them out. You slowly lowered your gun but kept your hands ready, fingers still holding the trigger. “I came on my own terms, no leader sent me,” He added and pulled a chair out. 

“Out with it, I don’t need your cryptic bullshit!” your gun was raised again, “hands up!” 

He raised them, “we don’t want intel.” 

“What?” 

“You stole our intel, that’s fine.” his nose stuffed up, “but you steal our weapon, rid him of his purpose...then we have an issue.”  

“He’s not a weapon!” you knew exactly who they were talking about, “and we didn’t steal him, we saved him, we saved Bucky!” you yelled again, tears gathering in your eyes. 

The man sat back on his chair, “I don’t care at this point, none of us do, you either give us our Winter Soldier or we will burn this place to the ground.” He stood to size you up, “the message has been given, shoot me if you want, I heard humans are flammable so I’d help burn this place-” 

The man's brain flew out and hit the walls, blood sprayed over you and the computers. His knees folded in and the hole in his head slammed against the floor, you should have let him suffer but he probably was working for Hydra, and that’s suffering everyday. The man’s skin whitened in a matter of seconds, all the blood rushing out of that one spot was getting near the electrical, so you ran back to the common room. 

Bucky was there, “most of them went to the roof, we got it down here!” He screamed. 

“They’re after you!” you yelled and shot a few agents down, “this isn’t intel, they want you Bucky!” The smoke was flying up and with all the fast movements, it was getting harder to see him, but you saw the metal arm in the reflection. 

“It doesn’t matter, I’m staying here!” He stopped to reload, but you knocked someone down and turned to face him. 

“Bucky, I swear to fucking god-” You threw the person you just knocked out onto the ground of the common room, “you have to get out of here, It’s you or this entire building!” Bucky gave you a sympathetic look as you fought off Hydra agents, your gun fired three shots behind you to another agent you sensed running up. 

“But I can’t leave you!” Bucky screamed back over the fire and bullets, Hydra agents were running in from every which way. The smoke rising made it harder for him to see you and Sam, who was also there a couple seconds ago. Everyone else was trying to stop the agents from the outside or other levels. It was a complete break-in. 

“Fuck all that Bucky, I love you but I can’t love you if you’re dead- Fuck!” You screamed in pure anger as you began hand to hand combat with an agent, he wasn’t good at all so it was a quick take down. “James!” you looked over to just see him standing there, his eyes were watery from the pain and smoke, “you need to fucking leave! Run!” you shouted, waving him off. 

 Bucky took off but as he ran away, right before you lost sight of him, an arm wrapped tightly around your neck. You couldn’t see a face but you heard a voice, “he’ll turn himself in if he knows we have you, now this will hurt.” the butt of a gun slammed your temple, all you saw was black. 

Time: unknown 

Date: unknown

Your head hurt so bad, right as you were waking up it was a pulsing ache everywhere from between your eyes to your neck. It felt like waves, for a moment the pressure would drop but then slowly crawl back in, nothing was rigid. In the room you found yourself in there wasn’t much to register, just a cell that was a little longer than arm's length and some black box on the ceiling, it wasn’t a light but it seemed to hold something. There was no bed as well, you were sat up against the wall in a corner. As you moved to look around your neck all the way down to your knees ached; not to mention the pressure building in your head. It felt like you had been struck in the back of the head even though you thought it was in your temple when you were knocked out, your hand cupped high on your neck, right where your hair started. There was a sting and you pulled away with a hiss, a few pieces of scab came with it. 

There were no windows, no source of light to see what time it was. But the fact that whatever cut was made to the back of your head was a fully scabbed and not bleeding gave away you had been asleep for a bit, that almost made it worse. 

“Welcome, Soldat,” a voice with an accent came through, it was one you couldn’t figure out. “It seems our other weapon got away, we were gifted you instead; we are happy about it no less.'' the voice was coming from a speaker in the top left corner, not the black box directly above you. 

“Where am I?” your voice sounded like sandpaper. 

“In your cell,” you could hear the smirk, “but you’re not in Avenger’s territory anymore, would you like to know where you are?” he didn’t wait for you to answer, “I’ll give it to you if you follow this simple task, would you mind getting on your knees?” the voice asked, you stayed still, “right, I forgot. Soldat, get on your knees.” right away your knees smashed into the concrete floor. “Would you look at that, how pretty?” 

“What that fuck?” you gasped out, your hands folded neatly on your lap as you sat back on your calves. 

“Now that we know your abilities, you’re in Iceland, Hydra gifted us you.” 

“You’re not Hydra?” you asked, this time louder and looking at the speaker. 

“Oh, we are Hydra.” the voice laughed, “just not how you think we are...” 

Time: 9:59pm

Date: September 27th, 2024

Bucky didn’t know how long he’d been curled in his bed with the curtains drawn, there was no perception of time at all. All he did was cry, all day. His body ached and crumbled into itself more and more as time went on. Everyone was mourning the loss of a friend, but to Bucky it was a lover. He held the picture you framed after your first date as a couple, that was one of the first times Bucky had truly smiled. 

You both went to a really nice restaurant and when you were finished you waiter offered to take a picture because they saw you getting self conscious when your arm was up to take a selfie. The both of you leaned over the table and close to one another, right before the picture was taken Bucky reached over and placed his metal hand over yours, allowing it to be seen in the picture. It was something he regretted but after you framed it and kept it on your side of the bed, Bucky looked at it everyday with a smile. 

The picture was still in the frame but it wasn’t on the bedside anymore, rather pushed up against Bucky’s chest. He’d pull it away to look at you from time to time, after picturing all the good times with you, your face seemed to change and warp until it wasn’t you. Bucky would run his finger down the glass and try to imagine the feeling of your skin again, he’d lost almost everyone in his life, all he wanted was to feel you one last time if it really was your time to go. Your smile was so bright it lit up the pitch black room he was crying in, your smile and your personality could keep an entire country running for years. 

He ran out of salty tears and all that was left was wheezing and rocking back and forth in his bed, the emotions were working him out, sweat lines the neck rim of his t-shirt, but he’d also use the neck line to wipe the tears that slipped past his nose and lips. They would roll down and hit his pillow, he had already flipped it to get a dry surface. 

Steve walked in, he didn’t need to knock because he knew what’s coming. Steve had watched you and Bucky grow from barely speaking to napping on the couch for everyone to see, it took a while but Steve knew from the beginning that you were perfect for him. Steve brought Bucky a sandwich everyday at noon because he refused to eat dinner and breakfast. Some days he wouldn’t eat at all but noon seemed to be the best time for him to eat everything. 

“Wanda made it today actually, she added some chips on the side and made it real nice, Buck,” Steve went to the windows and opened the blinds, he did that everyday but  when he would come back 24 hours later they’d be closed. “I also have news, about y/n…” 

Steve saw for the first time in four days Bucky sit up, he saw the grief fade and a small shred of hope appear.

A/n: if you want to be tagged in this series let me know through an ask or anything!

[bts-hyperfixation]

Soulmates

JJK X Reader soulmate AU

Warnings: Minor character death(car crash, only mentioned nothing graphic), Drinking

I don’t know if this is what you (the requester) were going for? this is somehow where I ended up

Everyone in this world has a soulmate. Someone that is meant to complete them and make them feel whole.

Your other half can be identified by the matching birthmark hidden somewhere on their body. There are also a lot of people whose marks are so close to matching that it almost feels like the real thing… almost. Sadly, many don’t ever get to experience the love of their true soulmate, so they settle for the closest they can get.

Jungkook was convinced he was one of the lucky few. Looking at her made his heart feel like it was going to burst. Every time he saw her the world got brighter, the birds started singing a little louder, and his stress nearly melted away entirely … nearly. But at 17 no one is going to pay attention to nearly.

Their birthmark’s matched so closely, each sporting a small puzzle piece on opposite wrists. You wouldn’t even bat an eyelid at the loved-up pair as they walked together hand in hand. And he loved her so completely, and her him, that they never thought to question it. Madly in love until the day she died.

Jungkook spent weeks almost comatose when the news of her car crash reached him. Couldn’t move, eat, sleep. To lose your soulmate so young was said to be a fate worse than never finding them at all. Even after coming through the other side people could tell he wasn’t the same carefree young boy he had been, most likely never would be again. His eyes’ looked far older than his years now, his soft features much more angular.

Three months after her death he resolve to never fall in love again, happy in the knowledge that he got to know her even for such a short amount of time.

….

You met Jungkook at a party. Someone from Uni decided that 24 was the right age for a big birthday bash. They hired out an entire club and set up a series of activities for people to enjoy. A mechanical ball on the main floor, a ball pit to the side, a BBQ in the smoking area, and a bouncy castle in the downstairs 90’s themed area. It really was an amazing event. You however spent most of your time watching the quiet Korean boy in the corner, every time his eyes met yours you felt compelled to move to him, talk to him, dance with him, anything that would get his attention on you. At the time you put it down to the alcohol. It took you exactly 3 and a half drinks to pick up the courage and interrupt his current conversation.

He was very sweet, really sweet considering he clearly didn’t want to be talking to you. It was evident in the way his eyes shifted and the nervous playing with his sleeves, still you persevered. Something about him wouldn’t let you give up, not yet at least. Your saving grace came when your favourite band came blaring over the speakers. “PRETTYMUCH” aren’t an underrated band per say but it’s difficult to find someone who knows them in your circle, so when Jungkook’s face lit up at the same time as yours you knew you had your in. So with the Phases remix blaring through the club you took your opportunity.

“I love this song!” You took his hand and pulled him on to the dance floor before you really realised that’s what you are doing. To start with he was frozen, a little shocked by your boldness, but as you gave it your all he joined in, loosening up for the first time that entire night. After that it was a lot easier to talk to him, you actually went into the smoking area to talk more about shared music interests.

After you went to get a drink you got caught up with some others and he came to find you. It felt like an electric shock when he’d grabbed your hand to get your attention, but there were a lot of balloons around so that would explain the residual electricity. By the time the party was over, and the club was closing, you didn’t want to leave him, not just now but ever. You found yourselves wandering around aimlessly, talking about nothing until the sun came up. Looking back it was then you decided Jungkook was it for you. You had never really believed in the soulmate tradition until you met him.

Weeks go by of you texting back and forth. You found out the reason he was so into music was because he was a musician himself, he even promised to perform for you sometime. A lot of promises were made in those messages.

‘There’s this amazing Restaurant in the city’ you claimed promising to take him with you next time.

‘I really want to see this movie’ he said promising to pay for tickets when it came out.

‘We should go see this band together’ The number one promise between the two of you, quickly racking up a lot of different acts to see together.

So when one of those bands turned up on the roster for the local you’d bought tickets immediately sending him the confirmation. Your stomach had fluttered thinking about seeing him in person again. And so you counted down the days as they passed. Picked and repicked your outfit. Talked yourself in and out of going. Eventually the day arrived. The doorbell signalling his arrival was deafening, ringing out through your small studio apartment. You took a few deep breaths before opening the door.

He was flawless, your tipsy memory hadn’t done him justice. A broad chest draped in a white long sleeve tee, ripped skinnies straining against his thighs, his hair swept into a James Dean quiff. You might’ve laughed at the way your outfits had accidently matched (a black crop with white skinnies) had you been capable of making a noise.

“Ready to go?” He asked nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. You’d nodded, blushing when you realised you had been staring.

It was a short bus ride into the town centre. Spent in relatively comfortable silence arms brushing against one another in the limited space on the crowded vehicle. The club was packed wall to wall when you got inside, no hope of getting to the front of the crowd, or so you’d thought. Jungkook grabbed your hand winked at you and began heading in the opposite direction of the stage. He led you up some back stairs and on to a balcony you hadn’t ever noticed before.

“I’ve played here before, almost no one knows this is here, but it will give us the perfect view.” He dropped your hand in favour of leaning over the railing. You couldn’t help but feel cold at the loss. The performance was great, you found yourselves screaming lyrics back and forth at one another. Some people had cottoned on to your little hiding spot and soon it became as packed as the rest of the club. Whether he was trying to protect you from the others or he was pushed there you will never know, but Jungkook ended up caging you to the railing, head resting on your shoulder.

After the show you’d decided it was time to ask him how he felt. The club was still busy, but the two of you had been in a quiet corner on your own nursing drinks and chatting aimlessly.

“Do you believe in soulmates?” You asked, broaching the topic carefully. You watched closely for his reaction, but he gave nothing away. Instead he just shrugged.

“I did once.” It was too blunt, you knew you should’ve stopped but you couldn’t, now you’d decided to tell him it was like verbal diarrhoea.

“I didn’t think I did, I mean I’ve never seen any ‘matching birthmarks’ and every couple I know is perfectly happy… but then I met you and I keep thinking about it, and you, and how I feel about you.” You watched as his face goes from pensive to a deer caught in the headlights.

“I… I have to leave now.” He got up and ran into the crowd before you even had a chance to reach for him. He dipped through a back entrance of the club and into the night before you could even push through the first layer of people.

The ride home had seemed a lot longer. Holding back tears had proved extremely difficult. Of all the reactions he could’ve given you that might’ve been the worst one. Somehow you found yourself thinking even him laughing in your face might’ve been better. You left the lights in your studio switched off that night. Made a beeline for your bed and passed out face down.

It would’ve felt like a bad dream when you woke up… if it hadn’t been for the crusty mascara tracking down your cheeks. You’d picked up your phone from where it lay abandoned next to you. Battery on 12%. You’d decided then it’d be best to run damage control, at least save the friendship.

Y/N: I’m sorry about last night…

You hadn’t expected his reply to be quick, so it’d surprised you when the typing bubbles appeared immediately; and furthered your sadness when they disappeared moments later without a message.

For days you spiralled. Going over the moment again and again in your head. Each replay turning the memory into something worse than the original.

Eventually you plucked yourself out of bed, deciding to face the problem head on and talk to the friend that invited you both to their birthday in the first place.

She met you at a café downtown during her lunch break. It was obvious by your red rimed eyes and sniffling nose that you had been crying but she was nice enough to ignore it for the most part. You caught up on her life for a little while until you physically couldn’t hold back anymore.

You told her exactly what had happened between you and JK, watching as her expression got both more understanding and pitying as you got closer to the end. Whatever you thought she was going to tell you was no where close to the story you got. You sat mouth wide open as she told you about the accident, and the way it affected Jungkook. It made you want to cry all over again. You didn’t know what to say once she had finished, stewing in your own thoughts for a while. The main thought that kept coming to the front of your mind was one that made you feel so evil. But you had to get it out

“What if she wasn’t really his soulmate. What if he was never meant for her” Its barely above a whisper but your friend heard it.

“He truly believes that she was” She replied squinting at you. Her break ended shortly after that leaving you alone with your thoughts.

…

It’s almost a month later when you see Jungkook again. Hadn’t heard a single thing from him since the concert but at least you knew why.

This time it was someone pool party. You honestly hadn’t been expecting to see him there. Didn’t even know you had mutual friends past that one girl. You didn’t think twice about your birthmark when you stripped down to your two piece. Why would you? Everyone has one. You were lay out on a sun-lounger with a drink when you spotted him. Tucked away in a corner once again, the only difference this time was his attention was already on you. He looked as good as ever, hair damp and slicked back, Long-sleeved neoprene shit covering his torso but trunks showing off his amazing thighs. You’d forced yourself to look away form him but could still feel the intensity of his gaze on you.

Eventually you couldn’t take it anymore, too hot under the sun and his stare you decided to change out of your swimsuit into a sundress for the evening. Heading inside you found your way into someone’s bedroom to get changed. Perhaps you should’ve checked to see if the door the locked though, because just as you had wiggled out of the bikini top Jungkook burst into the room.

“Ah shit… Sorry… I um.” His hand had flown in front of his eyes as he’d slammed the door shut behind him and you’d immediately reached for the flimsy dress pulling it over you torso so he could reopen his eyes.

“What in the actual fuck Jungkook?” you whisper screamed not wanting to draw attention to the two of you hidden away.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I didn’t think… I just needed to see…”

“See what?! My boobs? I think you managed that one perv. You haven’t spoken to me in weeks and now all of a sudden you can’t wait long enough to knock.” You came across a lot meaner than you had meant, you just hadn’t been prepared for him to want to speak to you again.

“No I’m sorry I’ll go, this was a bad idea, I was probably seeing things anyway.” He mumbled looking sheepishly at the floor/

“No wait it’s okay, I really want to apologise don’t leave.” You took a deep breath and waited for his eyes to meet yours properly. When they did you could see the shock behind them.

“Why do you need to apologise? I’m the one that ran off, I never even told you why and I fucked up and I’m sorry I just…” You reached for him then, wanting nothing more than to comfort him and then realised it wasn’t your place, arm dropping heavily back to your side. “I felt so guilty with you, not because of you, because of me.” You nodded in understanding.

“I found about your soulmate after I confessed to you. I’m so sorry I didn’t know. I never would’ve brought it up if I had known you had already found yours.” You’d broken eye contact with him then unable to watch the sadness in his eyes and not be able to do anything about it.

“That’s why I felt so guilty though because the way I feel about you is so similar to the way I felt about her, how I still feel about her deep down. I was so confused because you’re only supposed to get one soulmate, and if I could feel the same way about you in such a short time… it just feels like I’m betraying her by loving you.” He stepped forward reaching for your chin and forced you to meet his gaze. “The today when I saw your birthmark on your thigh I could’ve cried.” He uses his free hand to unzip the shirt he’d been wearing. He pulled his left arm from the sleeve exposing his birthmark to you. A puzzle piece to fit perfectly into your own.

You’d gasped at the revelation you were right. He was meant to be yours. And yet it didn’t feel right. The anguish on his face was clear, the internal fight he had obviously been having with himself ever since the concert.

“Letting yourself love me now doesn’t mean you loved her any less” you whispered, allowing yourself to move even closer to him, wrapping him in your arms. He’d nuzzled into your neck allowing tears to stream down his cheeks and onto your shoulder. You’d felt every bit of stress leave his body as he cried. Emotions he hadn’t even know he had been holding onto, finally letting himself really breath since he had lost her all those years ago.

You’d lost track of the time, just stood with him, holding him until the final few sniffles came. His cheeks had been puffy by and red when he pulled away, wiping his face on the sleeve still on his right arm.

“Do you want to leave? We can go back to mine” You’d asked carefully, not willing to let him go home alone after feeling like that. He’d nodded weakly, sliding his arm back into the shirt before taking your hand in his. You’d headed for the door only to be brought back by the hand he had on yours. He’d pulled you so close you could see the flecks of gold in his irises, watched your reaction before leaning in and kissing you. It was salty with left over tears, but you wouldn’t change you first kiss for the world. Everything felt like it clicked into place in that moment, the world tilted on its axis. The exchange was short lived, a chaste peck followed by a few smaller pecks before he let you lead him all the way home.

Masterlist

[nakamoto-aesthetics]

Guardian Angel | Johnny

synopsis: on the way from a friends house you bump into a man who was trying to harm you but luckily a guy named johnny saves you before you were taken. from there you get to know him a bit and things get… interesting. (the synopsis makes the story sound boing but i promise it’s not :)

pairing: johnny suh x fem!reader

genre: angst, fluff, a lil smut

warning: something similar to human trafficking in the beginning (if you’re sensitive to that topic please don’t read this fic), heavy make out shesh, not proofread!, other than that there’s nothing i can think of

a/n: also remember that this is a FIC and not real life, please don’t welcome strangers into your home :))

word count: 4.1k

“where do you think you’re going in that cute little dress baby?” an unfamiliar voice is heard as you walk down the fairly dark street. you don’t say anything and continue to walk not paying any attention to the voice. there was no one else really around, barely any cars passing by, let alone people.

“I asked you a question, I expect an answer” the tone was firm, his footsteps getting faster and so do yours. you hurriedly pull out your phone, quickly forming a plan that involved some of your friends but that all crashed and burned once you saw the dead battery flashing on the screen. your heart sink and tears instantly pooled in your eyes, threatening to fall from your eyes. that was your only escape, what were you gonna do now?

you were just trying to get home that was all. maybe you should’ve let your friend drive you home but you didn’t because you didn’t want to cause your friend an inconvenience. you were beginning to regret that decision, all because of that small reason. at least you would’ve been home safe and sound but no, you decided to be the unselfish and independent person you are, and look where it got you.

“hey!” a hand grips your shoulder from behind and swings you around. “I asked you a question when I ask a question I expect an answer” the guy wasn’t a foreigner, he was most definitely korean. he seemed to be in his mid-30s, the age definitely showed. there were creases and wrinkles in some areas of his face and his clothes were all black including his shoes. you try to pull away from the grip but he only grips your shoulder harder, hurting you more than you would like to admit.

“maybe I need to refresh your short memory,” the guy chuckles lowly, his finger shifting your head up to meet his eyes. “where are you going in that cute little dress?” his eyes looked you up and down, his free hand gliding down your waist, slowly traveling to your ass. your face stayed straight the entire time even while tears fell down your face. you knew who had the upper hand power in the situation, you knew there was little you could do even if you didn’t dare say it aloud.

“still not talking? well maybe I should force it out of you huh?” he tilts his head. no, because the whole time you were creating a plan b in your head since plan a failed. there was no way you were going to allow yourself to be trafficked.

“well then, you made this choice for yourself. i’m sorry to do this sweetheart” his hands grope your ass and that's when you strike. you move your leg up to kick him in the balls but he’s faster than you, grabbing ahold of your leg before it collided with his area.

“is that what you were doing this whole time, creating that wack-ass plan? you didn’t think i’d see it coming that’s so cute,” he fake coos. “i’ve been doing this longer than you, i’m smarter and faster than you love” he throws down your leg and in the blink of an eye, you are turned around in his grip with an arm around your neck. your hand flies to his arm and you pull on it, not wanting to be choked to death.

“is there a problem over here miss?” another unfamiliar voice calls, making both you and the guy look over to where it came from. it was a tall guy with light brown hair. he had tan skin and different pieces of clothing put together that oddly worked. his eyes were a soft brown, not too harsh. he was… kinda cute if you were being honest. he was also In the process of taking his headphones out of his ears, for what reason? you didn’t know.

“there’s no problem here, keep on walking buddy” the male answered for you.

“I asked the lady not you” the new stranger spoke harshly to the trafficker and look at you once again. “are you okay?” he knitted his eyebrows. your eyes caught his, filling with tears, threatening to spill from your eyes. he nodded softly understanding how you were feeling through your eyes. he then looked at the male behind you.

“let her go, I don’t wanna hurt you” he said firmly.

“oh yeah, what can you do?” he looks him up and down and laughs at the guy, walking back to his original place, which was a block or two away.

“Im can do a lot” the stranger walks in front of you and the guy, making you both stop once again.

“listen man, this is my girlfriend. we’re just having a little disagreement aren’t we honey?” the guy tightens his hold around your neck. you open your mouth trying to suck in more air but his hold gets tighter. you tap on his arm in hopes that he’ll release you but he doesn’t. there was no way you were gonna agree with him.

the stranger doesn’t think furthermore and before either of you knew it, your head was being moved out the way carefully and a punch was thrown at the guy's face. you heard a crack of a bone and quickly moved away from the area, running out the man's hold.

it was like an action movie, the man was the villain and the stranger was the hero, and you were the one in need of help. the fight ended with the stranger still standing and the man now on the floor. he wasn’t moving but his chest was still rising and falling. he wasn’t dead although you weren’t sure what was gonna happen in the next few minutes but you weren’t gonna find out either.

“are you okay?” the stranger rushes over to you, sliding off his jacket and handing it to you.

“that won’t be necessary” you chuckle and wave your hand at his jacket.

“please, I insist” he places the jacket around you, not wanted to make you feel uncomfortable by touching you.

“thank you” you look down and smile softly.

“it’s no problem, I could never just walk by if I saw something like that” he smiles gently. “do you want me to walk you home? you know, to make sure you get there safe?”

“uhh… why not” you smile and begin to walk in the direction, he comes up beside you and walks along with you.

you pulled his jacket closer to your body for warmth as you kept your eyes glued to the sidewalk, scarred by what had just happened. you’ve never experienced something that traumatic before. you could’ve been snatched up a while ago if it hadn’t been for the guy walking beside you right now.

“thank you” your voice was quiet in a way it had never been before.

“anytime” he glances over to you, seeing your small frame wrapped in his jacket.

“I really do mean it, if you wouldn’t have been there I don’t know what I would've done”

“yeah, i’m glad I was there too. it hurts me to see things like that happen” he shakes his head. “I wish I could protect everyone around the world,” he breathily laughs. “that’s probably why I want to be a police officer” your ears perked up when you heard that. you looked up at him with surprised eyes and he looked at you nodding his head.

“it’s always been a dream of mine ever since I was a kid. when I read my first comic book I loved everything about it, I knew I wanted to be some kind of hero after that. I wanted my parents to buy me every single superhero costume so then I could feel like that character, with all the powers and stuff.” you breathily laugh at that, he notices and laughs with you. “anyways that’s enough about me, I wanna know about you” he looks attentively to you.

the conversation continues until you got home. you learned that his name was johnny and that he was 25. he grew up in his hometown chicago but his parents are both korean, and he moved to seoul for better job opportunities. you gotta admit, the guy was interesting and you wanted to know more about him, you thought he was pretty cool.

“so… this is it?” johnny stuffs his hands in his pockets and looks up at the house.

“yep” you look at the house and back to him. it got quiet for a few seconds, neither of you wanted to say bye to each other. johnny wanted to get to know you more and you wanted to know him more also.

“listen, I don’t know if the feeling is mutual but I wanna talk to you some more so how about this, I give my number and you get to choose if you want to text me” he offers and you instantly take it up. he smiles softly and enters his number in your phone. once you receive it back you see the name option blank.

“you’re not gonna name yourself?” you cock your eyebrow at him and he lightheartedly chuckles.

“I want you to have free will and set it as whatever you want. I want you to always feel like you have a choice when you're with me y/n” a smile was blatant on his face, allowing the corners of your mouth to pull up also.

“well thank you very much johnny,” you say, staring into his eyes, which seemed to catch the light from the streetlights in a way you’d never seen before. would it be weird to say that you wanted to get to know the sweet guy in front of you more?

“um.. i guess i should get going, it was nice meeting you y/n” his hypnotizing but kind eyes still staring into your soul. you never wanted to part away from them, from him. johnny was captivating, too captivating to let slip through your fingers.

“it was nice meeting you too. see you later johnny” you dismiss him yet his feet don’t move, they stay in place and so does he, looking at you with eyes of fondness. this continues for about a minute before you break the silence/slight sexual tension.

“uh- actually, do you wanna come in? i’m not going to sleep right away, honestly might have some trouble falling asleep” you shake your head, looking down and pretend to find your nails interesting.

“a-are you sure? i wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable-” he seems caught off guard by your words, obviously snapping him out of whatever trance he was in.

“not at all, now come on. i’ll put on a movie and get some food and drinks. it’ll be good” you smile brightly, grabbing his hand without thinking and taking him up to your front door. you unlock it quickly and turn on the lights, stepping into your clean house.

“this is a very nice environment you have y/n” he looks around staying still in his place, nodding his head, seeming genuinely impressed with it.

“thank you, it took a bit of work to get to this point” you chuckle, taking off your shoes and then his jacket. “oh, here you go” you hold the piece of heavy fabric out to him. he utters a ‘thanks’ once he sees it and takes it.

“you can put your shoes there” you point to the shoe rack beside to door. “and your jacket can go there” you point to the coat racket right next to the shoe rack. he doesn’t say anything and does as you say.

“now make yourself comfortable i’ll be right back” you point to the couch and then walk away but not before you caught his eyes. damn those eyes..

“now why did she do that? i swear horror movie characters are so fucking dumb” you roll your eyes and johnny laughs, agreeing with you.

“i mean what would you do in her position” you look at him. the light from the tv illuminating him perfectly. it was dark everywhere else so the only light you had was from the tv.

“i would’ve saved the friend and then booked it not stand there like an idiot waiting for someone to kill me” he looked at you right back, giving you that same look from earlier but his eyes were a bit brighter, filled with joy.

“exactly! so why can’t she do the same?” you sigh.

“y/n it’s just a movie” he chuckles.

“i know, i know but they really irritate me yk? like why stand there knowing damn well a killer is in the house with you i mean it’s-“

“alright it’s time to turn this off” he backs out of the movie, returning to the netflix screen where you started.

“hey!” you look at him with confused eyes.

“you were way too into it, it‘s not good for your blood pressure.” he says and looks at the tv, going through the comedy section.

you kept your eyes on him watching the way his eyes watch the screen attentively. you nibble on your lip, beginning to get lost in your thoughts. he could be your friend, best friend, boyfriend... husband- too far y/n, too far. you just met the guy but you felt like you’ve known him for a long time. you could see him being a potential boyfriend honestly. it’s been a while since you’ve had a boyfriend, really only focused on work. it wouldn’t be a bad idea. johnny seemed nice and he was interesting in a way nobody has been before, you could stay up talking to him and it wouldn’t get boring ever. what if you guys-

“y/n?” his head turns toward you and he catches you staring back at him with your lip between your teeth. he smiles softly and that’s when you are dragged out of your thoughts.

“here” you say out of nowhere making johnny laugh harder than before, his head is thrown back and his eyes are closed, filling the atmosphere with his beautiful laughs. meanwhile, you sat there a little confused and startled, blinking multiple times.

“huh?” you furrow your eyebrows.

“nothing” he waves his hands continuing to laugh.

“yah!” you hit his arm playfully. “i was lost in my thoughts im sorry” you look down feeling your cheeks heat up.

“while staring at me? what were you thinking about?” he says after his laughter dies down.

“uh.. nothing important, what did you pick?” you look at the tv trying to change the subject and you’re thankful that it works.

“that was a great movie, what’d you think?” johnny looks over to you and you nod tiredly, letting out a yawn. “oh somebody’s tired” he says and you don’t know if it was because you were tired but you thought it was cute.

“i enjoyed it and yes i am tired” you lazily chuckle and rub your face.

“alright, i’ll leave-“ he goes to stand up.

“no-“ you say abruptly and grab his wrist and his eyes shift down to your hold on him. “i mean… no you don’t have to, it’s late and i don’t want you going home at this time of night” you checked your phone with your free hand, completely forgetting about your grip on his wrist.

‘4:08 am’

“damn it’s four already?” your eyes bulge out your head and look up at him, his eyes still watching the way your skin was touching his. “you mister aren’t going anywhere, wouldn’t want anything to happen to you” you move closer to him and he notices this. you take your hand off his wrist and interlock your arms, resting your head on his shoulder. maybe it was the sleepiness that put you in this position but you didn’t mind it one bit, too tired to care.

he seemed surprised tensing up almost immediately but relaxing once he realized what was really happening. you were like the little bear that found comfort in the big bear. johnny brushed the extra pieces of hair out the way, how was it that he’d just met you but he felt so connected to you as if you were a lifelong friend he hadn’t seen in a long time. he didn’t under but at the same time, he didn’t want to understand it. he’d rather just let whatever this was flow at its own pace.

“do you think we’re moving too fast?” you say out of nowhere, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“i was just thinking about that and i think we should just let it happen naturally. whatever happens, happens” he says in a sweet voice and caresses your arm gently with his free hand. “if it feels right then act on it right? anyways, that’s the motto”

you move your head to look up at him and nod, intending to catch his eyes and you do. you’re only inches away from each other’s faces, eyes shifting from his eyes to his lips and so do his before either of you knew it your lips collided. johnny holding your jaw between his index and thumb. you wrap your hands around his neck and sit up slowly shifting onto his lap. your heart began to race as you kissed him deeper, johnny too, feeling his heart pumping with adrenaline, moving his hands down to your waist and gripping it. you moan softly against his lips as his hands travel inside your shirt. he felt like pure ecstasy against you. his touch, his lips, his words, everything him felt so good with you.

his hands then slid down to your hips and he gripped them, continuing to kiss you like no tomorrow. he pulls away from your lips, you following his lips for more, and he chuckles; before you knew it his lips were on your neck, pressing soft kisses to it making you moan softly. when his lips found your sweet spot he attacked it, leaving a dark red hickey in that place. you began to move your hips against his, hungry for some type of stimulation down there. his hands fly to your hips and he rests his head in the crook of your neck, letting out soft grunts.

you bite your lip and pull him up to kiss his neck, one of his hands rest on your shoulder. once you find his sweet spot you do as he did and leave a dark red hickey. you pull back and look at it proudly.

“an eye for an eye” you wink at him.

“yeah, yeah” he smiles and pulls your face closer, kissing you again, this time using a bit of tongue. you moan instantly, letting him win and he explores your mouth as your hands glide down his chest, you could feel all of the contours and lines of his muscles and abs, letting you know he was fit. which only made him sexier. your hands slip under his shirt and you explore the area. he was too hot for you to handle, you could pounce on him again even though you kind of already pounced on him. he’s just too hot.

you pulled away abruptly and he looked at you with a confused expression. you smirked and stood up, him still looking at you, obviously confused. he reached for your wrist but you pulled it away and before he could say anything, with the help of his thighs you got on your knees. his confused expression was now gone as he watched the scene unfold, his jeans were so tight against him and you knew that. his hard-on wasn’t small either, it was actually pretty big, you could still see his print though it was dark and you wanted to help him out so you teased him by gliding your fingers up his thighs and then teased his dick by running your finger up and down his hard-on.

“stop t-teasing” he breathily moans, watching your every move.

you smirked, looking up at him and unzipped his jeans.

did you guys fuck? no. just oral sex, that was all you guys agreed to. johnny thought it would be a bad idea to have sex during the initial meet. he said it would be best to give it at least a few weeks. he truly did wanna get to know you some more as did you and that’s why you were okay with not going that far.

you slept in your room after you guys were done giving each other head. you’d given him a blanket to sleep with and a comfortable pillow instead of making him use one of the uncomfortable decor ones on your couch.

“thank you johnny,” you said as he grabbed his coat. you let him stay for breakfast, that you and him cooked together. (he wasn’t going to let you cook it by yourself)

“for what? i should be thanking you. i had fun” he says as he puts his coat on.

“because i had fun too. the most i’ve had in a long time so thank you for that”

“it’s nothing really, i’m glad i could reflect some light on” he laughs and slips his shoes on.

“i hope we could do that again” you hint your fondness toward him.

“of course we can you just gotta let me know. i’m always free” he looks at you with that look once again and you can’t help but let it slip out.

“why do you keep looking at me like that, you’ve been giving me the same look since you met me” you say softly so then it doesn’t one out harsh and you know it doesn’t when he responds.

“because...” he moves closer to you which makes your heart skip a beat. “i actually like you y/n, and i mean it. you’re so different from other girls i’ve met. i’m not just another handsome guy to you. you take an interest in the things i say and the stories i tell you, not many girls do and i thank you for that alone. thank you for listening to me.” he moves even closer to you, grabbing your hands which makes your heart begin to race. “so when i look at you like this, i’m thanking you.” he doesn’t say anything after that continuing to stare deeply into your eyes.

you felt so drunk in the moment, hypnotized by his eyes and soft words. you could already feel how head over heels you were gonna be for this guy, that's if you guys kept it up, which you think you will. the chemistry was way too strong for either of you to let go of.

“thank you” you whisper and he nods gently not breaking eye contact. “you should get going, i wouldn’t want you to be late for work. you still gotta get home in time to change out of these clothes... do you need a ride or?”

“kind of... only if it’s not too much trouble” he answers.

“of course it’s not, come on” you quickly get your stuff on and take him home.

“this is it” he says and you stop the car once you’re in front of the house.

“okay, i’ll see you later” you look over to him and he’s already looking at you. nothing happens for a few seconds but then johnny leans over to you and kisses you. you sigh into the kiss and grab ahold of his neck and kiss him back as his hand rests on your neck, he kisses you just as deep as last night but before anything serious happens he pulls away and lets a ‘text me’ roll of his tongue before he exits the vehicle and walks to his front door, unlocking it and walking inside. all without looking back.

you however, were in complete awe. he kissed you like that and then left. damn was he a good kisser, you could still feel the sensation of his lips on yours even after he was gone. you touched your lips and then smiled, pulling off.

bonus: later that day; the evening

you decide to pick up your phone and do exactly what he said earlier.

you: what was that all about earlier? - y/n

johnny🥰😫: so you decided to finally text me😊

johnny🥰😫: and what was what about👀

you: you know what i talking about. the kiss in the car

johnny🥰😫: you know, it was just a see you later kiss

you: mhm, okay mr. suh

johnny🥰😫: what?😂

you: imma give your ass a ‘see you later’ kiss and then walk away. see how it makes you feel

johnny🥰😫: bring it on then sexy, let’s see what you got

you: oh i’ll show you what i got👀

johnny🥰😫: are we still talking about kissing?😳

you: maybe, maybe not🤷‍♀️👀

NCT Masterlist

[deerixiie]

24/7 ramen.

description: you are iwaizumi’s home; even if he is forced to take you to a ramen place at 2 in the morning.

pairing: iwaizumi x gen!reader

genre/warning: banter, fluff, literally just filler dialogue with an overarching plot, light mentions of violence

word count: 1.8k

a/n: this was inspired by some headcanons im going to post. oh and this is for @hajiimes... hehe <3

“I got into a fight.”

Iwaizumi paused, his phone hovering near his ear. He resisted the urge to let out a sharp laugh—of all the things, why did you have to get into a fight?—and slung his arm over his face. “And you lost?”

Iwaizumi could almost hear you pouting. “To be fair, they were-”

“But you lost.”

A pause. “Yeah.”

Iwaizumi dragged his hand across his face with a heavy sigh. “Why are you fighting people at,” he paused to squint at the digital clock on the dresser, “Two in the morning?”

“Ramen.”

“What?”

“Hot and spicy shrimp,” you said solemnly. “There was only one pack-”

“You’re aware we have finals tomorrow, right?”

“Exactly the reason why I wanted ramen.”

Iwaizumi sighed again. “Are you hurt?”

“Well, someone elbowed me in the eye-”

“The eye?”

“Yes the eye. I’m pretty sure it’s swollen, but other than that I’m perfectly fine.”

“Why do you sound so happy?” Iwaizumi asked, getting up to scour his closet for a hoodie. “You lost a fight over a pack of ramen.”

“Well technically, no one won the fight. We all got kicked out of the store. Poor guy didn’t even keep his ramen.”

“Which store?”

“Walmart.”

“You couldn’t have gone to a convenience store or something?” Iwaizumi pulled on the hoodie Oikawa sent him from Argentina and grabbed an old Godzilla hoodie from his closet.

“Haji, this is Socal, not Japan,” you condescended. Iwaizumi scoffed at how haughty you sounded. “I’m sure Socal has convenience stores,” he muttered.

“Well, Walmart was the closest.”

“You could’ve woken me up,” Iwaizumi grumbled, moving on to grab the keys off the drawer, “I would’ve taken you to a convenience store.”

“But you were sleeping.”

“So? You know how dangerous that was? I’d feel a little better if I was there.”

“Yeah, but I wanted ramen,” you sighed. “Anyway, can you pick me up, Haji? It’s getting cold.”

Iwaizumi shut the apartment door with a quiet click. “I’m leaving the apartment now.”

“That was fast.”

“Yeah, I had a feeling that you’d want me to pick you up.”

“Okay. Oh, and remember to drive on the right side of the road.”

“I know.”

“Are you sure? You almost drove into a tree last time.”

“Because I was tired.” Iwaizumi opened the door to the car, dropping the hoodie into the passenger’s seat. “Tired people don’t think straight.”

“Aren’t you tired right now?”

“No, I’ve been awake since you told me you got into a fight. You need to tell me what the hell actually happened there.”

“I told you, it was ramen,” you huffed. “There was one pack of spicy shrimp and three desperate college students in need of ramen.”

“So you fought for it.”

“I lunged for it, some other dude shoved me, I crashed into the third person, and then he was pushing them and I was on the floor and then someone’s elbow was in my eye and then the employee grabbed us and tossed us out.”

Iwaizumi took a moment to process your words. “You sound proud of yourself.”

“I’m not. I didn’t get the ramen.”

“No one got the ramen,” Iwaizumi deadpanned. “Isn’t that what you said?”

“I mean yeah, but now I can tell people I’ve been in a fight.”

“Why would you want to tell someone you’ve been in a fight?”

“I dunno,” you sighed. “I’m tired and hungry. Tired and hungry people say weird things.”

“Damn right.”

“That was an insult.”

“It was.”

“Ouch.”

Iwaizumi didn’t respond, lightly drumming his fingers against the steering wheel as he waited for the red light to turn green.

“My eye hurts,” you said suddenly, your voice crackling from the phone’s speaker.

Iwaizumi furrowed his eyebrows. “Does it hurt a lot?”

“No,” you decide. “Ramen would make it better.”

“So now I’m buying you ramen?”

“Yeah.”

“At 2 AM?”

“It’s 2:28 now.”

Iwaizumi scoffed.

“I found this ramen place that’s open,” you said. “24/7 Ramen. It’s 25 minutes from here.”

“Why is there a ramen place open for 24 hours?” he muttered, half to himself.

“It’s probably run by college students. That’s why the name is catchy too.”

“Catchy?”

“It sounds like a song. You know, 24 Karat Magic by Bruno Mars.”

“Never heard of it.”

“What?” Iwaizumi found himself flinching, despite the fact it was simply your voice coming from his phone’s speaker. “How have you been living in America for two years without ever hearing 24 Karat Magic? That song is a classic.”

“I think you’re forgetting you’re speaking to a guy born and raised in Japan.”

“Haji, you’ve been here for two years. That’s 24 months. 48 weeks. And a certain amount of days I’m too tired to calculate.”

Iwaizumi thought for a moment. “730.”

“730-” you paused. “How the hell did you calculate that so fast?”

“Dealing with stupid people makes you smarter, I guess.”

“No, ramen makes you smarter.” You sighed. “I really want ramen.”

“I heard.” Iwaizumi turned the steering wheel, bringing the car into the Walmart parking lot. “And I’m here now, so you can stop whining.”

“Oh, I see you. Do you see me?”

There was a figure sitting on the front curb, waving erratically in Iwaizumi’s direction. “I see an idiot waving at me like their life depends on it, so yes, I see you.”

“I think being around stupid people makes you grumpy,” you grumbled.

“No, having to pick my significant other up from Walmart at 2 in the morning makes me grumpy.”

You responded by scoffing and hanging up the phone. Seconds later, you were sliding into the passenger seat of the car. “Aw, did you bring a hoodie for me?” you asked, glancing down at the Godzilla hoodie that you almost sat down on.

Iwaizumi glanced over to you, raising an eyebrow. “Hello to you too.”

You rolled your eyes and leaned forward to press a quick kiss to Iwaizumi’s cheek. “Hi, I love you, thank you for picking me up. Happy now?”

“I’m ecstatic. Yes, that hoodie is for you.”

You smiled, pulling the hoodie on over your shirt and relaxing into the seat. Iwaizumi carefully looked over your face. The only noticeable injury was the ring of darkness around your eye—did they really elbow you that hard?—and a slight cut on your upper lip, but those would heal soon. He let out a quiet sigh of relief.

“What, is there something on my face?” you asked, reaching up to brush your fingers over your cheek.

“You have a black eye.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Damn. Is it bad?”

“No, not really.” He checked the dashboard for the time and slightly frowned. “Where’s the ramen place?”

24/7 Ramen was a small convenience store in between an optometrist and a cigarette shop. On the outside, it wasn’t much. The name of the store was illuminated in large flickering neon letters. The exterior brick walls of the store were dusty and crumbling with age and wore. The windows were covered with assorted posters and papers, some for missing children, upcoming movies, and advertisements for Japanese snacks.

“Oh, so this is like a Japanese convenience store then?” you asked, looking at one of the Japanese ads. “I guess you were right.”

“Told you.”

“Just come on and buy me my ramen.”

The door opened with a familiar chime that reminded Iwaizumi of warm yakisoba buns, tangled with the sight of preppy school uniforms, and of course, Oikawa Tooru. The layout of the store was straight out of Japan, overwhelming him with countless reels of tender highschool memories. If he closed his eyes he could see himself standing right there, bag under his arm, Oikawa at his shoulder.

“Feeling a little nostalgic, huh?”

His head whipped toward you standing behind him with an amused smile on your face. “This place does have a Japanese feel to it.” You raised your eyebrow in that insufferably adorable way of yours, and Iwaizumi found it hard to breathe.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets as a flush began to form on his cheeks. “Be quiet.”

You hummed but made no other comment, instead choosing to shoot him another knowing look that made his blood roar in his ears. You started moving through the store, picking cups of ramen off the shelves. He hovered behind you, still embarrassed about his nostalgic moment—was he that homesick?—occasionally picking up cups of ramen and examining them before placing them back onto the shelf.

After what seemed like ages, you presented your armful of ramen cups with a proud smile. “I’m done.”

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow. “I’m not buying you 15 cups of ramen.”

“But you promised-“

“Each one is like, 65 cents? I’ll buy you 5, max.”

“Why not more?”

“I’m just as broke as you are.”

You sighed in defeat. “Being broke in college sucks.”

“I told you we should’ve held off on getting a car.”

“But I wanted a car!”

“More than you want ramen?”

“That’s- that’s an unfair comparison!”

Iwaizumi continued to go back and forth with you, even as you paid for the ramen at the cash register. You were in the middle of a frantic explanation of why investing in a car was important in California when you finally made it outside.

The air was still and cool, save for the slight breeze that occasionally tangled in Iwaizumi’s spiky locks. The only sounds were the distant cars speeding across the road and the faint sound of crickets chirping, for you had both fallen silent after leaving the convenience store. Iwaizumi turned to look at you: one eye swollen, upper lip bleeding, a plastic bag full of convenience store ramen clutched tightly in your hand. He could see the fire in your eyes, that odd determination to make your own dreams a reality, no matter how fickle or ridiculous they were. It was similar to the drive he saw in Oikawa’s eyes, he realized. The reckless, worthless one that seemed to be a double-edged sword.

Maybe that’s why whenever he looked at you, he felt like he was at home.

“I love you, you know that?”

You cocked your head to the side and smiled slightly. “Where did that come from?”

He shrugged and stuffed his hands into his pockets again, turning away from your curious gaze. The corners of your mouth pulled up into a faint smile. Without warning, you turned Iwaizumi toward you with your finger and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. And then you were bounding off toward the car, the plastic bag jostling in your hand.

“Hey,” Iwaizumi called, starting after you. “Come back here so I can kiss you properly.”

“I want my ramen!” came your response from the car. “No kisses until I get my ramen!”

Iwaizumi chuckled softly. You were annoying and feisty, but you still managed to make him feel right at home.

taglist in reblog; please comment/reblog with comments in the tags or in the post if you enjoyed!! i love hearing your feedback :)

[kuroos-moon]

E-girl S/o 

☾ pairings: ushijima x reader, oikawa x reader, kuroo x reader 

☾ request: headcanons for Ushijima, Oikawa and Kuroo reacting to or being interested in/dating a girl that is kinda goth/e-girl/edgy? Like they wear a lot of black, like scary movies and video games, have a very sarcastic personality?

☾ warning/s: none

☾ a/note: not rlly sure if i did e-girls justice on this one im sorry 

Ushijima Wakatoshi 

• Doesn’t get the “oh, I didn’t expect girls like y/n are your type” 

• Like?? Uhm, wdym it’s self-explanatory you’re just so eye-catching 

• Yes, you caught the Ushiwaka’s eye 

• You’re not dating or anything, let alone have started a conversation 

• But there’s an impressive number of people who know he likes you a lot

• Wakatoshi’s blunt and genuinely honest for most times if not all of his life 

• “You like anyone?” “Yes.” “Really? Is it that cute girl from your cl-

• “Y/n L/n.”  

• Knows how much you love black bc it’s not rlly hard to miss, you wear it on you every chance you get

• And now you’ve cursed him with remembering you every time he sees the color 

• You heard of the rumors that one of the nation’s top three aces likes you and you don’t believe them ofc 

• Not that you don’t know you’re pretty, you love your reflection but you just reckon you’re not his type yk? 

• He’s more of an admire and fall for you more from afar type of dude

• Totally stops and stare when you walk in the gym wearing a short black skirt and a black top, with boots and chains and all 

• Doesn’t know a thing about fashion but damn, you’re so hot?? 

• Cannot hear even his own coach

• Hopes you’re not going on a date 

• “Geez, y/n, is it someone’s funeral?” “Ah, Satori-chan, why are you even out of your cascket?” 

• Kinda thinks you’re mean bc you’re sarcastic and his humor rlly isn’t up to your level lmao sorry but he wants to know what’s it like to actually talk to you 

• So he does, once he bumps into you on his way out of the gym and you just awkwardly stare at each other 

• “I like your style. Your outfit.” He says, and he is not even shy on the outside at least

• “uh thanks?” you just kinda smile at him bc ydk what youre supposed to do this is wakafreakingtoshi we’re talkin bout 

• “you like black a lot.” “yeah, I do, what of it?” 

• “you really look good in it. You own the color,” he says that like it’s no big deal before he walks away 

• You totally crush on him after that encounter 

• Basically, he doesn’t have a type. he cannot distinguish cute girls, e-girls, or any ‘type’ of girls

• What he could so naturally distinguish though, is you—his lovely darling in black—and the rest of the female population he couldn’t care less for 

Oikawa Tōru 

• You’re his most treasured babygirl and no he doesn’t take any criticism 

• Your taste in fashion? 💯/💯

• Is maybe a tad bit too in love with your pretty boy and e-girl dynamic in pics bc his Instagram is flooded with them 

• Hypes you up in your socials, in his, and in real life 

• Goes for captions like: “choke me like you hate me, y/n-chan” and “step on me and I’ll apologize instead” 

• He’s so cheesy but you love it :>

• Lets you pick out his clothes once in a while though you have different tastes and preferences 

• You return the favor too sometimes and it’s not even a compromise on either of your parts 

• You just have fun with your own things and you’re having fun in trying out things the other likes too yk? 

• One thing that shortens his lifespan is when you watch horror movies together 

• HOW ARE YOU NOT SCARED? Loves spending nights like this with you nonetheless though

• “y/n-chan is the ghost gone?” “yup, you could open your eyes now.” “thank g- hey!” 

• Is the rare male teenager who’s kinda knowledgeable in make-up products bc of u

• He knows what kind of eyeliner you use and if he sees something kinda cool when he’s out, he’ll buy it for you

• Or tell you about it: “y/n-chan do you know this eyeliner called ***? I don’t know if it was the lady’s sales talk but I think you’ll like it”—wholesome and thoughtful

• Flexes you a lot and will not tolerate all the “Tōru and y/n don’t really look good together” 

• “Right? She just doesn’t complement him right.”

• He’s childish and more so when agitated, not even Iwaizumi could hold him back

• “Oh yeah? THEN LOOK AT MY FABULOUS NAILS” flexes all ten of his fingers which you painted black just last night on your bedroom floor 

• You just flip your hair in their direction and drag Toru away bc you’re too unbothered <33 

• “y/n-chan back me up here, you have the bitchiest attitude towards me so let’s work together and unleash our sass on them so they shut up, okay?” 

• It’s really rare for him to be that way with his fans but he’s the numero uno y/n-stanner ofc he won’t take that crap 

• “your makeup and taste in clothes aren’t even half as good as y/n’s.” sticks his tongue out ✨maturely✨

• Hates when he has to play Karasuno bc you once mentioned you could imagine Tobio having the same aesthetic as you 

• You also might’ve jokingly told him that “Toru I should’ve gotten a boyfriend from Karasuno, it’d be cool to tie their jacket around my waist and cheer for him at the same time.” 

• Was so mad at you about it and refused to talk to you for days because he’s just so not childish at all 

• “Ugh, why don’t they just change their team color to pure orange. Chibi-chan domination.” 

Kuroo Tetsuro

• Already took an interest in you from what he observes is an interestingly snarky character 

• Has been seeing you in only your uniform at first though but then he finds himself thinking a bit too much about you one night

• Stalks your Instagram <33 

• Jaw drops, heart beats a tad bit faster, his yearning grows 

• You’re so pretty. So good in black. Your poses? The whole vibe of your feed? He doesn’t know what to do with his admiration you’re just so freaking meant for him

• He gets it’s not the usual style for most girls in school, and tbh he didn’t know he’d like it so much, he just does now

• Knows there was no saving him once he starts imagining scenarios about you before he goes to bed

• This dork starts to know more things about you—it’s really cool that you play the same games as him 

• Is up to date on your posts, your ig story, and your tweets but why in the world are you still not in bed at 3 in the morning? 

• You just love gaming, huh? Should he start a conversation with you about it? He played that often too with Kenma

• He just can’t seem to though bc he’s nervous and lowkey intimidated 

• Once witnessed you jokingly exchange snarky comments with your friends and you even flipped them off 

• It’s settled then, he’ll graduate without talking to you sad kuroo noises 

• You once posted a pic flexing your matte black nails on a weekend and when the weekday came, he was so excited to see them in person 

• But your nails are no longer painted, and he was so disappointed bc they looked rlly attractive to him 

• Voices out his thoughts mindlessly. “You removed your nail polish.” 

• Everyone—including you—is surprised. Your desks aren’t even next to each other but his body was facing you 

• Cringes internally once he realizes he had said it but is so surprised when you smile at him. 

• “It’s not allowed in school, it’s a shame, you think they were pretty too, right?” 

• He cannot function, he totally did not prepare for this—and to think he had so many nights imagining different scenarios about you. 

• He was rlly popular and you thought you acted too confident; you just curse yourself for it. “Oh, uh sorry I thought you saw my post.” 

• You look away, embarrassed. “Yeah,” he chuckles a bit. You cringe. 

• “Black really suits you, and your nails were pretty, wish I could’ve seen them today, that’s all.”

• And who would’ve thought your relationship would bloom since then 

• All because he’s so interested and mesmerized with everything about you <3 

General Taglist [Open]: @noyasbitchh @dinablossom @haru-the-secret @strayczennies @lalisbitch @tinymidgetsstuff @animebs @astrealia @kittykitkatstrawberry @hajimesbbygrl @kellesvt @24hr7dysdizzy @arnxldss @elianetsantana @vicassa @floraraine @beanst0ck @leinnah @kageyamasgirl @deafeningart @minibobabottle   @franko-pop @moonlightaangel @throughtheinterstices @micasaessakusa @dixonsbugaboo @thevillagehiddenintheinternet @ultzuko

[thefudge]

Just because I’m curious, have you ever watched Crimson Peak? If you have, what are your thoughts on Thomas and Lucille Sharpe?

i have! i didn't like it

it pains me to say this because i love guillermo del toro and the visuals and cinematography and sets for crimson peak were absolutely gorgeous, but...it was such a tame and relentlessly boring movie. i was honestly shocked how boring it was. it took no interesting risks. and it somehow made the incestuous relationship the MOST boring aspect of the movie. the bright star in this whole tiresome gothic-tiered cake was jessica chastain, but even she couldn't save the dynamic between her and hiddles. my god, i have never been this asleep during a delicious and co-dependent sibling relationship. hiddles was either miscast or given really poor direction. he's a fairly good actor (i personally think he's better on the stage than in movies), but he really floundered here. he acted like a mealy-mouthed child who couldn't make up his mind. i get that he was supposed to be a twist on the byronic hero, i understand that guillermo wanted to play around with that trope and show how powerless the man really is and how lucille, the sister, holds all the cards, but...that doesn't mean you have to make thomas so mind-numbingly uninteresting. he came off as someone with no agency, a pseudo-victim of his sister's possessiveness, instead of an ambiguous accomplice. i think thomas should've been framed as even more "monstrous" than lucille, because he was going along with everything while still trying to keep himself "clean". like, hiddles could've still played it like an innocent, but in a perverse way, showing us that this house and this family have a corrupting, corrosive influence. instead, he's a sexless martyr. god, the absolute sexlessness of this movie was also just really weird and off-putting. i was genuinely offended by that weak-ass attempt of a "sultry" scene between brother and sister where lucille barely has her hand over his privates and thomas shivers like a dainty rosebud. hiddles looks like he's kissing cement. ditto for any sort of intimacy between edith and thomas. the movie was trying so hard to be this gothic extravaganza, while also being absolutely corseted by a pg-13 mentality. it felt like the opposite of decadence, like the kidzbop version of flowers in the attic.

the only actual chemistry and interesting back and forth was between edith and lucille and that should've been the pair explored. it would've been much more compelling if lucille had been the one to fall in love with edith (jessica chastain def kinda plays it like that, bless her). anyway, it's sad, but this pretty movie did absolutely nothing for me. but i know lots of people think differently so maybe there's smth i'm missing...(i mean, i still think it's not for me, but i might be too harsh on it. but that's because i was expecting way more from guillermo!)