#but the autism is eating me ALIVE

[beastlyidiocy]

my sweet old man who is genuinely too kind for the world he lives in :(

[magic-glasses]

uhhahshhhhhhhhhhgggh I want that old man bad

[zombiehearts2007]

I just ordered the cutest leatherface earrings off esty

Jk they were only $34 which is cheap if your shopping in Australia

[nedsseveredhead]

[foams at the mouth remembering my magic the gathering phase] I recommend making a black/white or green/red or blue/white deck!!!!!!

GRIPS YOU,,,,,,

Currently I have!! A Red White Black (Nier Automata inspired) and a Green Red (Werewolf) deck, both for commander cause its all I know how to play ;v; But im having so much fun just throwing shit together for shits and giggles, just like when i used to go with my brother to yugioh tournaments and play with my little scrap Crystal Beast deck against people waiting for their turn 😭💕

[reesiereads]

I’ve noticed that my favorite characters of any fandom always fall into 3 different types of blorbo.

The Relatable Blorbo: The one that I personally relate to the most, either because my personality is similar to them, I have similar trauma/issues to them, I view them as trans, or they’re some level of autistic. This is the kind of blorbo that when I read fics or analysis about them I feel like I come away learning something about myself.

The Well-Written Blorbo: Whether this Blorbo is actually, objectively well-written or not doesn’t matter, only that I believe them to be well-written. Whether this is because I think they’re good representation for something or because they have significant parallels to those around them or because the way they’re written forces me to think and examine them more closely to understand them fully. This is the blorbo that I have to search through constant misinformation and mischaracterization about but when I find a good fic or analysis it’s an actual work of art.

The Bluescreen Blorbo: This is the Blorbo that when I look at them my mind becomes nothing but a keysmash. I can’t articulate why I like them or what it is specifically that draws such a strong reaction out of me when I see them but by god I love them. 100% the blorbo I am the most likely to be an apologist for. They’ve raided my brain and turned it into a microwave, no thoughts only blorbo. Don’t read as many analysis and fics for this type but look at a lot of fanart.

And then there are the Blorbos who fit all three catagories and they go into my personal Blorbo Hall of Fame.

[maretriarch]

does anyone know who this guy is

[spilt-ash]

gang help

[iexcistoutofspite]

[sera-wasnever]

Popular internet neurodivergence is all fun and games until you realise people have decided that cause they're cool with people with like fandom hyperfixations and no other symptoms that they have to see via social media, any cruelty they show for autistic traits irl is okay and not ableist

[moe-broey]

I HATE WHEN I exit hyper focus mode against my will bc I ran out of energy but I still have The Things in my fucking brain and they're NOT done yet but I physically CANNOT continue and all I can do is just. Turn evil about it. Gnashing my teeth clawing at my enclosure drenched in blood screaming and wailing ect ect

[viagostalons]

viago de riva is an antivan crow icon

Founder of his House

Master Poisoner

Talon (I imagine he was the youngest Talon prior to Teia, I would guess his age between 32-35)

Lucanis Dellamorte had (has??) a crush on him!!

bisexual KING (you cannot convince me this man is even remotely heterosexual)

Son of the King but holds more power than his father as a Talon (so sexy of him)

Has pet adders (metal asf)

Privileged enough to sleep with THE (real) Cantori Diamond

Alchemical Genius - makes his own poisons from scratch

Ruthless and Mean when he has to be

Basically became giddy as he solved a murder mystery (Oh Viago, you would have loved murder mystery board games)

Is entrusted to "keep Illario out of trouble" by Lucanis

Calls Rook de Riva an Idiot in his letter (hilarious)

Names all of his poisons via puns (more hilarious)

Autism/OCD King

Almost dies due to his autistic filing system

Loves his hair petted

Absolute SIMP of a man

Could probably kill the entire Crow faction if he wanted to with just a few slips of his hands

Is so repressed, he basically folds as soon as Teia walks into a room in Eight Little Talons

Longs to leave his gloves off and let his skin breathe but he's too much of a freak to do so

Paranoia eats him alive

Pathetic

His RBF is unmatched

Smartest man in the room (I'm kissing him until he cries)

anyway, viago should have been named First Talon by Lucanis at the end of DATV

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Most iconic Qi Rong things according to me

This is for @lan-wangjis-autism specifically

Contains spoilers

Green being his whole personality

Making his subordinates wear green candles on their heads for the aesthetic

Calling himself "ancestor" all the time to inflate his ego

The very creative way he swears

When he was still alive and he was gifted the equivalent of an ancient fantasy sports car and wrecked the whole Xianle marketplace with it

Idolizing Xie Lian to the point of beating up anyone who didnt

When he boiled in the soup after LQQ threw him in it

Immediately sniffing out Xie Lian and Hua Cheng being gay asf for each other

Wailing and cursing every time he has to eat Xie Lian's cooking

When he was tied to a tree in front of Puqi Shrine and had to witness HuaLian making out for spiritual energy exchange

When he kept saying he only keeps Guzi around to eat him but caught paternal instincts in the process

The way he casually munches on human body parts like theyre snacks and even pickles them

When he makes Xuan Ji babysit Guzi

Laughing at his own words because hes just so funny

The fact that he hangs corpses upside down so he can also do the cool blood rain thing Hua Cheng does

Being considered one of the four great calamities even if he technically didnt reach the rank yet

Creating monthly ruckus in Ghost City to piss Hua Cheng off

The Ghost Fire lock spell

And the password to that spell

When he was almost dispersed protecting Guzi from the fire in the heavenly capital

Not iconic Qi Rong things

Messing with Xie Lian's mom's corpse

Immediately turning on Xie Lian as Xianle fell

[0vergrowngraveyard]

random vent, feel free to ignore

i think im falling down another spiral of hopeless (or, i’ve been falling down it for months now, im just falling faster)

here i am, turning 20 years old in 2 months, and i don’t make money, i don’t drive, i don’t do things most people in my age group do, and im too scared to ask for help with any of these.

when i was younger, i prided myself on not needing help. i didn’t need medication. i didn’t need to go to special classes or get tutors. i wasn’t like other neurotypical kids, i was “normal”. but here i am, years later, completely fucking lost in life and it just feels like i’m past the point where i can ask for help with this stuff without being seen as an idiot

i don’t know why i feel this way, ive only been alive for 19 years and 19 yr olds typically dont have things figured out and everyone goes through life at their own pace, but i just do and its a scary and lonely feeling. i always see things about autistic people learning to navigate life or people getting into the industry i want to be in but it feels like ill never have that kind of success story because i dont even know where to start. idek if im good enough to start

i do also have massive anxiety and just straight up fear around doing something incorrectly so there’s that. partially why i haven’t opened commissions yet

maybe all this is because comparisons have been a very prominent thing in my life, online and offline. maybe it’s because of younger me’s desire to be seen as “normal”. maybe this is just a huge depression and anxiety episode. idk. what i do know is that existing has been miserable as of late (both because of this shit and orange man related events). i feel like life is just eating me alive

i want to get help. i’ve been thinking of talking to a counselor at my college but i don’t have the money. i need to open art commissions very soon, just need to figure out how to

every day my hatred for people who try to paint autism as a fucking “super power” or whatever grows exponentially. this super power sucks ass i want a refund

[menlove]

the thing that doesn't get mentioned when we pull the whole left handed gayness transgenderism autism analogy is that it does mean many many many many many many many gen x'ers and boomers and silent generation folks still alive Are In Fact Queer but have never and will never talk about it and that shit always makes me so sad. free yourselves idc how old you are go eat another woman out or change your pronouns

[lapdogchase]

i think a lot of the confusion with low support needs vs medium/high support needs for autism is that all 3 categories are Huge spectrum- a person who's functioning near-indistinguishably from an allistic person and gets by without burning out using a bullet journal and talk therapy is low support needs of course. but an autistic person who often has verbal shutdowns, who can't manage cooking or shopping on their own and needs someone to budget for them, with severe sensory issues, and difficulty understanding tone or hidden meanings when people are talking to them, who has a family member or friend living with them to help them with their IADLs- that person could also be low support needs. because the "low/medium/high" isn't compared to neurotypicals, it's in comparison to other autistic people's needs

whereas someone with medium support needs might not be able to use full sentences, not understand most speech, might have meltdowns where they harm themselves or others nearby without being able to control themselves, cannot complete most IADLs (managing money, taking care of their health, preparing meals) on their own and struggles with some BADLs (showering, using the toilet, eating, getting dressed). and someone with high support needs might not understand speech at all, possibly isn't aware of other people or is completely uninterested in interacting with them, has severe and sometimes violent meltdowns, has needed intense support services and physical therapy etc from a young age, and isn't able to do most BADLs at all

and part of the confusion i think comes in misunderstanding the level of difficulty or inability someone with medium/high support needs might have with "basic" tasks. like, someone with low support needs might live off of pbj sandwiches and ramen because they aren't able to cook, someone with medium or high support needs might not be able to physically use a fork or knife without hand-over-hand assistance. someone with low support needs might forget to shower, have difficulty with it, need reminding, have meltdowns during or after showering, etc. someone with medium or high support needs might not be able to understand/remember/enact the steps involved in showering, the physical movements, etc. not just executive dysfunction or struggling to do things "correctly" but an inability to do these things unassisted at all.

like, someone with low support needs like me, if god himself picked me up and put me in an empty studio apartment in a city with a water bottle and a blanket and said i'd be living there alone for a week before being magically transported back to my normal day to day life. i wouldn't be happy about it, but i would be able to book an uber to go to the store, id be able to buy my ramen and peanut butter and bread and jelly, i'd be able to get home and shower and take care of myself. i would not be doing well, i could not sustain living on my own for an indeterminate amount of time, and i wouldnt be able to figure out the bus system in that short amount of time. but i would be alive. if someone with medium support needs like my brother were in that situation they might not be alive at the end of the week, or they might wander off without awareness of where they are and get hurt, or have a meltdown and not be able to explain what is happening.

i think people see "low support needs" and assume that since they have several crucial support needs, that they can't possibly have low support needs. but it's not just about having support needs at all, it's the type of activities that someone needs support with. someone can be nonverbal and have low support needs, they can have an intellectual disability and have low support needs, etc. and it doesn't mean they don't need a substantial amount of support! just that it's not the same type or amount of support as someone with medium or high support needs would need

[tireddovahkiin]

Guys theres something very weird and big going on I just HAVE to rant (again) bc im starting to get a bit confused and concerned (in a good way)

So, as you all know, I'm currently VERY hyperfixated on Metal Gear, but I haven't really talked just HOW much did the whole experience of that game affected me.

Because... holy shit, did it affect me. Did this game change me in a way I never expected. I never saw THIS level of autism before for something LMFAO☠️

Here are some examples. Whenever I just THINK about Metal Gear just in general, just "admire" the game, it's characters, it's story, the soundtrack, it's motives and lessons you learn behind them, it's community, it fills me with this excitement... Immense joy, that makes my fucking heart rate speed up. I can barely contain it, it seethes inside me like a mass of butterflies desparately wanting to get out.

And when I look at the fanart, the memes, anything related to it, I cannot contain this bubbling happiness inside me, I start squealing and kicking my feet like a highschool girl crushing HARD💩

Metal Gear now lives in my head rent free for 24/7😭 I'm SO invested in that shit, I literally want to write down the ENTIRE detailed lore and organize it on a paper, then literally learn it from START TO FINISH. (And when I say it's complicated, not even the true OG fans can explain it in the correct order to the newbies.)

Everything about it gives me comfort, gives me inspiration, motivation, anything positive that comes to your mind.

NO game EVER has made me feel like this. No, fix that.

Nothing EVER has made me feel this way, except my most important f/os. But still, not to THIS level. Literally.

Except maybe TES IV: Skyrim, but that was when I was just a kid, which was a long time ago. This feels so special, so EXCEPTIONAL. It actually... changed me in a way😭? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT URRRGHHH

I'm SO SO SO SO glad this game found me oh my GOD... Guys i fucking ADORE Metal Gear. This brainrot is insane, it's so powerful, it's EATING ME ALIVE FROM INSIDE OUT. Like, I'm GENUINELY TWEAKING OVER HERE AS I'M WRITING THIS. SHAKING FROM EXCITEMENT.

(Is this a clear symptom of autism? Bc I don't even know anymore🤧)

What's even more interesting, I'm not even done with discovering and learning about the whole lore! I watched the first Metal Gear Solid game, second, third, and fourth, and I'm currently on the fifth, Phantom Pain. And even AFTER that, I have to watch Metal Gear Rising. (which is a spin off fixated on another side character, Raiden, but still important to the MGS storyline.) I dunno how many parts does Metal Gear Rising have, but I'll find out. AND not only that, we will have a Remake of the third game coming this August! SQUEEEEE IM SO HAPPIHAPPIHAPPI- *vibrates*

This game made me feel every emotion possible: happiness sadness (MGS 4 IM LOOKING AT YOU), anger, absolute flabbergasting shock, nervousness, fear, awe, horny i mean what o-o

Yall know what I'm most scared about? Do you know that empty feeling of coming to an end with something that changed you as a person? That is now a very very special place in your heart? Ah yes, post-game/movie/series depression.🥲 nothing worse than that.

I'm scared that the post Metal Gear depression is gonna hit HARD. And I mean HARD. I'm already halfway through the whole thing, I think? And I don't want it to end??? I DON'T WANT IT TO STOP- WAAAAA MOMMYYYYYYYY😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Imagining myself finishing it all and then grabbing a paper bag and huffing through it as crisis begins to overtake me- /hj

RAAAAAAAGHHHH METAL GEEEEAAARRRRRRR

Anyways, yeah, sorry for such a long post, but thank you for coming to my Metal Gear ted talk :3 if you actually read this far then I love you sm mwah /p