#but the Hulk found what Dr. Strange did to him to get him there to be really distressing and confusing

[daydreamerdrew]

The Defenders (1972) #84

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #328: POWERS THAT BE!

January, 1991

The origin of the man called RAGE!

The Avengers watch aghast as Rage yells his origin at a drowning child?

Maybe!

I see the cast list above the Avengers logo is gone. That will make it less awkward that it kept excluding Sersi.

Last times on Avengers: The Avengers met Rage, who assertively insisted he be put on the team. Then they picked a fight with him for no reason. Later, the Avengers were called in when Hero of Chernobyl Ramskov in a containment suit melted through the floor of a hospital before he could get a bone marrow transplant. They found him in the tunnels under the hospital, wandering around, hallucinating the Chernobyl disaster, and putting off a lot of weird energy. Thor hammerported Ramskov (and the team and Rage who had come by to investigate the ruckus) to another dimension with different physical laws. This stopped Ramskov from outputting so much energy so his doctor and Sersi could get that marrow transplant done. But also, a bunch of weird monster people keep attacking the Avengers.

And just after the operation is complete on Ramskov, they attack again.

She-Hulk doesn't need this. She just donated bone marrow!

The Avengers jump into action under Captain America's command. She-Hulk, Captain America, and Thor will hold the line on the ground. Iron Man and Sersi will give air cover. Agent Zhukova, Doctor Estivez, and Lt Ramskov, try to stay in the back! Rage asks what he should do and Cap asks him to be a mobile reserve and pitch in on whatever front needs additional help.

Cap also reminds everyone that they're visitors here so maybe try not to kill monster people that might just be defending their home.

Which isn't the case. All the monster people are prisoners who were dumped in this dimension because the differing physical laws would neutralize them. But, hey, it's still a good policy, Cap!

Ngh the Unspeakable, leader of the monster exiles, hears Cap's statement and goes ah ha, ethics! That means they're weak and dumb. He decides to capitalize on it by hypnotizing the little fairy lady Xa to 'betray' the monster people and help the Avengers so they'll take her back with them.

Because of how weak and dumb they are for having ethics.

Meanwhile, over at the fight, She-Hulk and Rage make a good team.

They sure do.

Some of the monsters corner Lt Ramskov, Dr Estivez, and Agent Zhukova.

Ramskov: "Get behind me, ladies! I'll protect -- " Dr Estivez: "We intend to do our share of the fighting, Lt. Ramskov!"

That's a good can-do attitude. But I fear that you probably can't do.

Captain America jumps in and kicks some ass and face until he gets put in a bear hug by Gritty looking guy.

But Xa flies in and punches a monster in the eye. Then Iron Man manages to blast Gritty to save Cap.

Xa continues on to help Sersi fight another one of the monster men.

The monster menaces pull back, alarmed that Xa has turned on them.

Captain America: "We are the Avengers, and we thank you for your help!" Sersi: "Just why did you decide to aid us?" Xa: "It was strange... it suddenly felt like the right thing to do! Like a veil -- had been lifted from my eyes!"

And then to definitely sell the ruse that Xa has gone turncoat, Unspeakable Ngh drops a giant rock on her.

It honestly happens so fast that I couldn't help but laugh.

She-Hulk lifts the rock off Xa. The tiny fairy is alive but she needs micro-surgery to survive.

Captain America (with his sleeves missing thanks to a coloring error) says that since the operation on Lt. Ramskov is done, they should return to Earth ASAP to help Xa.

Iron Man points out that Lt. Ramskov will regain his strange energy powers when they return to Earth but since he won't be drugged to the point where he's reenacting his memories, he should be able to learn to control his powers. And use them for good, maybe?

Lt. Ramskov promises he'll use them for good. He also promises that he's a loyal soldier and won't reveal any state secrets so Agent Zhukova doesn't have to shoot him or anything.

Rage decides to make this about him and declares "Ramskov, maybe you and I should team up... we could be the heroes who everybody else doesn't trust!"

You were getting along so well with She-Hulk!

Anyway, Thor and Sersi do the hammerport that they do do and transport the Avengers and guests and Xa back to the good ol' 616.

All according to Ngh's plan. Because he's taken steps to ensure that Xa stays loyal even in another dimension. Dun dun dun.

The Avengers show back up in the tunnels underneath the hospital, right in the middle of news coverage about the Avengers disappearing.

News reporter Fanny Fong: "Late breaking development...! ... We have just witnessed a brilliant flash of light and felt an energy pulse of astounding magnitude! Could it be? Have the Avengers crossed some cosmic barrier back into our presence right here on national television?" Thor: "Verily!" Captain America: "You tell 'em, Thor!"

Fanny Fong asks about the government revoking the Avengers' charter.

That's public knowledge already??

And other reporter asks about Lt. Ramskov.

Captain America tells the news that the Avengers will have a meeting to discuss the charter thing and they're not going to just say things recklessly before that. Duh.

And Cap isn't going to talk for Lt. Ramskov. He's a big boy, he can talk for himself.

Without waiting for Ramskov to say anything, a man lunges out of the crowd with a gun and shouts that Ramskov is a turncoat.

Agent Zhukova jumps in front of him to take the bullet. It was her job to shoot Ramskov if she thought he would leak classified information but he was too much of a good egg for her to go through with it.

And now she's dead.

Thor and Iron Man grab the gunman and take off his face concealing hat, revealing him to have a fucked up face. Ramskov recognizes him as one of the men at Chernobyl who were doing things to the reactor.

He looks fucked up because he went into a reactor that was undergoing meltdown. Even a lead suit can only do so much.

Since Ramskov looks pretty good for a man who absorbed even more radiation than that, the gunman accuses Ramskov of selling out to the West (America) in exchange for the really good medical care.

Listen, guy, sometimes massive radiation exposure gives you superpowers instead of killing you. In Ramskov's case, it tried to do both but then he got a marrow transplant from a hulk.

Diamondback shows up to talk to Cap because she heard he had disappeared and she was worried for him. If you don't read a lot of Captain America comics, Diamonback is kind of Cap's Catwoman. She's technically a villain but she's also the love interest.

She-Hulk and Dr Estivez take off to get Xa medical treatment. While Sersi glares daggers at Diamondback.

Cap doesn't want to do relationship stuff in front of the press and also he sees Rage trying to sneak off and decides to chase after him.

Leaving Diamonback behind to be passive aggressived at by Sersi.

Sersi: "I guess diamonds aren't forever, hmmm?" Diamondback: "Drop dead, you old witch. I'm old enough to know that nothing is forever!" Sersi: "Except, perhaps, for me... and possibly for a certain ever-youthful super-soldier? I can wait forty or fifty years... can you?"

You'd think Sersi wouldn't begrudge Diamonback a relationship with Cap in that case. But women in Avengers. Always love triangling over a dude.

Well, hm. It's not actually that common. It happens a lot to Scarlet Witch and Vision. In both directions, to be fair.

Ramskov is still confronting the gunman. See, he can't spill anything to the West because he doesn't even know anything. So he asks the guy what was so important about what he saw that a man with all the cancer was sent to assassinate him?

Obviously, the guy isn't going to discuss that. Especially not in front of Iron Man, capitalist supreme. So he chomps on a cyanide pill, high roads Ramskov, and then painfully dies.

Cap catches up to Rage at the subway.

Captain America: "I just wanted to tell you that I thought you did real well in that alien dimension! I didn't want you to get the wrong impression..." Rage: "Impression. Yeah... Take a ride out to Brooklyn with me, Mr. Captain America, and I'll tell you all about impressions."

Captain America: "I get it... It must be like getting slapped in the face..." Rage: "No -- it's like getting hit in the face with a brick!"

A lady that is shocked to see a big, black guy in a mask getting on the train is reassured when she sees a big, white guy in a mask getting on the train.

And, yeah, maybe this specific example isn't the best. Captain America is very widely known and Rage started last week. But it's more about a pattern of behavior.

Rage then goes into his origin story.

Normal teenager Elvin was minding his own business, carrying comic books home as normal teenagers do, when someone hit him in the face with a brick.

A group of racist bullies who don't like Elvin being in teir neighborhood and also, plus, he probably stole those comics! He runs away from the brick and bat toting jerks, obviously.

In order to escape, Elvin goes into the very polluted Newtown Creek. Which is bad enough but then some jerks from Fisk Biochem dump toxic chemical X off a bridge, right where Elvin just pulled himself out of the creek.

Elvin stumbles home to his Granny Staples' house where he proceeded to spend days very sick and very bedridden on account of toxic waste.

But then he recovered and got JACKED.

Man, if toxic waste doesn't kill you or give you all the cancers, it sure does do a body good.

Rage: "I realized that nobody could push me around any more! Now I could go back and teach those bullies a lesson they'd never forget! But Granny Staples wasn't hearing any of that!" Flashback Granny Staples: "Listen up, child! You step out of my house with hatred in your heart and your mind set on vengeance, then you had better not come home. You hear me!"

Only god gets to do a vengeance. The Bible says so.

She tells him that god had some special purpose for him and that's why he survived the toxic waste and got swole. And then baked him some cookies.

That is an important part of the origin of Rage, according to Rage. And he would know.

All the superhero pictures in Granny Staples' house are a nice touch. Superheroes, Jesus, and Elvin. Those are her favorite things.

You can see how the thought process went from 'I was saved to do something special' to 'I'll become a superhero!'

Cap has just one question about the story. If Elvin got his powers as a kid, what was he doing for all the years in between then and now.

Rage is a little put out by this question because he thought he explained this. And now he doesn't quite know how to explain it more clearly.

And he doesn't have to!

A man jumps out and tries to murder him with a rocket launcher!

That's a great way to get out of awkward conversations.

Also, Cap deflects the rocket with his shield.

Cap apparently hasn't been spending a lot of time in Brooklyn because he's a little confused that things have escalated to rocket murder.

Captain America: "What was that about? Is this 'business as usual' around here?" Rage: "It's 'business' all right. It's drug business... And that was a business letter from a local mucusball by the name of L.D. 50!"

Said drug dealer runs away, wondering if Kingpin could supply him with anti-tank mines to deal with his Rage issue.

Over in the subplot, Dr Estivez successfully treated Xa. And it seems that she has a healing factor, which kicked in once she was out of the exile dimension. Either way, she'll be right as rain after some rest.

She-Hulk says it's good to see that evil creatures from alternate dimensions can change their ways but Dr Estivez points out that they don't know what she was exiled for. Yeah, Jen, you don't know that she wasn't a political prisoner!

Anyway, as soon as Dr Estivez and She-Hulk leave the room, Xa jumps out of bed and uses her powers to open a portal to the dimension of exile so all of her coworkers and her scary boss can come charging through to Earth.

Ngh the Unspeakable: "Free at last! Free to conquer... Free to revel in evilness for its own sake!!"

Hm. I think, perhaps, Ngh was not a political prisoner. He might just be a dick.

So, next Avengers time: that mess.

Next time on Essential Avengers: Ultron problems. Grim Reaper problems. Tension among the Avengers West Coast team. When it rains, it pours.

Follow @essential-avengers. Like and reblog. Dance like nobody is watching.

[doggo-owns-this-account]

Yandere Platonic Avengers x Peter Parker/ Spiderman

Bonus: Venom/Eddie Brock, Deadpool/Wade Wilson, Dr. Strange, The Flash/Barry Allen, Guardians Of The Galaxy

List to all parts:

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Underage

Summary: First reaction to finding out that Spiderman is underage

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Tony Stark/Ironman:

When Tony wanted Spiderman for his team during Civil War, he definitely did NOT know that Spiderman was underage.

Tony did figure out that Spiderman was on the younger side, but once he did figure out that Spiderman is underage, he was furious with himself for putting the kid in danger.

Almost immediately after finding out, Tony started working on a better suit for Spiderman. He did not like that the kid was putting himself in danger, but the least Tony could do to ensure that Spiderman would be at least safer, he made a suit. The suit had an intelligent AI, just like FRIDAY, but just seemed a bit younger. The AI (that Peter later named Karen) was coded to send Tony Spiderman's stats every day, and to notify him of Spiderman's location immediately if Spiderman got hurt in any way.

Soon just the suit wasn't enough to keep Tony's worries away, and it became harder and harder to resist the urge to just lock Spiderman up in his tower where it would be so much more safe.

"I'm fine, I really am."

"Kid, you got stabbed!" Tony yelled out in worry. He wasn't able to get there on time, and Spiderman, also known as Peter Parker, was stabbed in the knee.

"It's fine, it doesn't hurt anymore thanks to you." That was a bit of relief to hear for Tony, but still not enough to convince him to let the kid go home.

"Just stay here for the night kid. I'll let you go in the morning if it doesn't hurt anymore..." Tony tried convincing Peter, and even though both of them were stubborn, Tony got his way in the end just like always.

After Peter fell asleep in a spare bedroom, Tony got suited up and left the tower quietly.

"FRIDAY keep the tower locked, don't let Peter out of the tower under any circumstances without my permission. Eliminate possible threats."

And so Tony left the tower, he had bad guys to take care of after all...

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Steve Rogers/Captain America

To say that he was furious after finding out was an understandable.

He almost crushed the kid, and would've if it wasn't for Spiderman's super strength.

He was very enraged with Tony when he found out that Tony brought a child to fight him.

The kid got moves and power that shouldn't be underestimated, but he was still a growing child.

Children should be protected.

"Wait...you are underage?!"

"Yes Mr. Captain America sir!"

"I....almost crushed a kid..."

"Oh, no need to worry Mr. Captain America sir! I didn't get hurt (that much) and you were just so awesome and-"

The kid started rambling to Steve about how amazing his moves were and how his shield was so cool, it brought a smile to Steve's face. But still he felt guilty.

"No need to call me any formalities kid. Steve's just fine." Steve said with an amused smile as Peter stopped his rambling and blushed a bit.

"T-thank you Mr. Steve! I am very grateful!!" To that Steve couldn't help but let out a small laugh. The kid just was so formal compared to the most of kids his age.

He was still very angry with Tony. And he wouldn't just let this go that easily.

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Bruce Banner/Hulk

Despite what you might think, their first meeting actually happened while Bruce was himself.

His lab experiment went wrong and blew up in his face. He had been working on it for quite a while, and Bruce wasn't known for making failed experiments.

He probably would've started smashing things as his green counterpart, but didn't get to start before Spiderman walked to his lab.

Apparently he had been shot in his stomach, and Tony wouldn't let him get away without it being taken care of, so Spiderman just had to go to Bruce.

Of course Spiderman man had to take his suit off so Bruce could work on the scar, and that's when Bruce discovered that Spiderman was underage.

He almost started crying as he begun working to get the bullet out as the teenager let out small whimpers.

How could the others let an teenager endanger themselves like this?

When the boy started talking about Bruce's works without even mentioning Hulk with an starstruck look in his eyes after he had been batched up, Bruce actually did start crying a bit.

"I am very sorry Mr. Bruce Banner sir! I didn't mean to make you cry! I am so sorry!!" Peter said hurriedly as the teenager started panicking a bit about what he did. Did he say something wrong?

"No, no kid. I'm just so happy. It's been so long since someone recognized me trough my work and not trough Hulk..."

The next encounter did happen to be trough Hulk.

Hulk already knew about Peter of course. So that did make things a bit easier.

Hulk had just saved bunch of teenagers from a falling bridge with the help of Spiderman. Most of the people were scared of Hulk even though he did save them, but Spiderman just swung right on his shoulder and started talking to him like he was a normal human being.

Hulk could now definitely see why Bruce took liking to the kid.

"You are so cool Mr. Hulk! You were saving them left and right and-"

They were definitely keeping this kid around

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Thor & Loki

To the gods, Spiderman was just an itsy bitsy baby. A small child that shouldn't be fighting in fights like the ones they have fought in.

Even though they were from a different planet, they still did know what was wrong and what not in the planet called earth. And endangering a kid definetly was not on the good side.

If they weren't already protective of the Spiderman before, they definetly were after finding out that Peter was worthy.

Having such an young future ruler was a blessing, and Loki and Thor were not going to loose their future ruler because of some puny humans.

"Mr. Thor! You forgot this!!" Peter yelled, running towards Loki and Thor with a hammer in hand. The hammer in hand.

"Thank you young Parker..." Thor said in shock as he gazed at the much smaller human with an unknown glint in his eyes. And when the kid started rambling about how amazing Loki's magic was, that was the final straw. No one else has ever been so interested in Loki besides his brother Thor. It really warmed the two gods hearts....

Maybe even a bit too much

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Wanda/The Scarlett Witch

(She deserves happiness😭😭)

Wanda has dreamed of starting a family with Vision. And she knew the whole time that Spiderman a.k.a Peter Parker was an teenager since she can read minds after all

Even though Vision is gone and Wanda is a good guy now, the Avengers are all hostile towards her, except for the youngest Avenger, Spiderman.

She had already started developing strong platonic feelings towards Peter when Peter didn't treat her as a ticking time bomb and instead complimented her and her powers.

When Wanda discovers that Peter's parents are dead and his uncle (and aunt if this happened to happen after NWH) are also gone, that's when Peter's fate was sealed.

Peter needs a mother figure in his life. And clearly the only one capable for that role is Wanda.

They were soulmates. Made for each other. Wanda craved needed a child to take care of and Peter clearly needed to be taken care of.

Whether he realized it himself or not.

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Venom/Eddie Brock

Eddie figured it out while he and Venom were fighting Spiderman.

Venom was about to eat a bad guy's head when Spiderman stopped them. And it clearly agitated Venom to have his meal to taking away from him just like that.

So obviously they got into a battle. A battle that would've ended horribly for Peter if it wasn't for Eddie realizing that it was just a kid behind that suit.

For once in his life, Peter was thankful to be short and sound "childish". That was the reason that he didn't die that day after all.

"Wait Venom no! We can't hurt him!"

"What?! Why?!"

"He's clearly just a kid! Venom stop!" And Venom surprisingly listened to Eddie for once. He stopped attacking Spiderman and instead just stood where he was, wondering what to do next.

"Uhm Mr. Alien sir? Could we stop this battle? I just couldn't let you kill that criminal and I don't want to fight you!"

Well ain't this a surprise. They tried to kill the kid and yet, the kid just politely tries to get away from this situation. What a strange kid.

Thankfully Venom let Eddie take control again. Wouldn't want to scare the kid anymore after all.

"No worries kid and I'm sorry about that. I've got a parasite-"

"I AM NOT A PARASITE"

"And didn't realize you were just a kid before just now."

"Wait, how did you know I was underage?" Spiderman asked as he got closer to Eddie, his spider senses not reacting to danger anymore, though he still had a cold feeling in his neck.

Venom would be the first one to get posessive and obsessed over Peter. Any human is short compared to Venom, but Peter is just outright tiny to Venom. And even with Eddie, Peter would still fall short.

Knowing that Peter is a good guy (and in Venom's and Eddie's opinion delicate), it wouldn't take long for Eddie and Venom to just outright kidnap Peter, knowing that the kid would be in danger without them.

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Wade Wilson/Deadpool

Now this is some shocking news to Wade.

Wade always assumed that Peter was at least 18 or older since Wade only knew Peter as Spiderman, and Wade couldn't believe that anyone would let an underage kid fight crime on their own.

So naturally, Wade was VERY flirty with Spiderman. But ooh boy will he feel guilty after finding out that Spiderman is just a teenager.

He would still low-key flirt with Spiderman, but not in the same sense, and it turns more towards just compliments. When before he would have said "God your ass looks so good in that suit" now he just says "That suit really fits you".

Family has always been an F word to him and at first Peter was no different. Though hanging out with the kid really started to affect Wade in his thoughts of Peter, and now Wade just can't seem to leave Peter alone no matter what.

But Wade is still insecure, and doesn't think that he would be a good father. He was about to start a family with Vanessa but we all know how that turned out. It's harder for him to show his true self to Peter, and mostly protects Peter from the shadows.

Unless Vanessa is still alive, that would be a different story.

If Vanessa was alive, I wouldn't be surprised if Vanessa too devolved unhealthy platonic feelings towards Peter. While she isn't as strong as Deadpool, and her feelings wouldn't be as strong, she still would make a dangerous yandere.

Wade would feel a bit more comfortable around Peter, and wouldn't be so protective if Vanessa was alive.

However, if Vanessa is alive when Wade discovers that Peter is underage, but dies afterwards, it wouldn't take long for Wade to just kidnap Peter to keep him safe from harm.

He is sure Vanessa would be proud of him for keeping the kid safe.

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Barry Allen/The Flash

It wouldn't take long for Barry to notice that Spiderman is a kid.

I mean, Barry is the Flash a.k.a fastest man alive, so actually it would be surprising if he didn't know.

And to add to that, he's got an amazing team, and even though their technology may not be quit as advanced as Tony's technology, it's still some great ass technology.

Again, it wouldn't take long for Barry to develop strong platonic feelings towards Peter. They are both very alike, and Peter kind of reminds Barry of his younger self.

They both bond over science and each other's powers pretty quickly.

Barry is no stranger to working with underage people in hero work, but it doesn't mean that he does approve of it.

His friends and family most likely won't notice that he's starting to be clingy and protective over Peter, and when they do, they just brush it off as Barry and Peter having a tight bond. Little do they know....

Barry would let Peter continue his hero work, at least at first. However it just takes one time for Peter getting hurt, and now he isn't allowed in missions anymore.

Barry hopes that Iris would form a tight bond with Peter as well.

Most likely Iris would become yandere too over Peter, but still Barry would be the main one to get worried and eventually even paranoid.

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Stephen Strange/Dr. Strange

Just like Wanda, Stephen already knew about Peter's age for obvious reasons.

However unlike with Wanda, it took Stephen a lot longer to get actually attached to Peter.

It all probably started when they were in space, however there is a slim chance that Stephen could have already taken interest in Peter before.

However, after outsmarting Stephen in NWH, did Stephen fully realize how much he actually likes the kid.

There's really not much to say about him.

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GOTG

Well this is certainly a hard one.

They wouldn't take that much notice in Peter being a kid except Rocket and Drax.

For Rocket, Peter reminds him of Groot. The kid is just so naive and easily trusting, and even Groot can be more violent than Peter.

And for Drax, Peter reminds him of his own child. Peter is just so gullible and weak compared to Drax for example. (Of course we all know that Peter is in no ways weak, he just has smaller build than Drax)

So Rocket and Drax would be the most protective at the early stage.

Of course the others aren't practically happy about a kid being in space, but Peter Quill can also relate to Peter in that sense.

But there's not really much to this with these people.

So to sum it up: Drax and Rocket would be worried as hell, and everyone else would just be like: "oh okay"

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Author's note:

I apologize that this is so short and that this took so long. It's my first time writing so please have mercy on me ಥ_ಥ

[tvseries-writings]

Soulmates II

You caress the scar on your left wrist, running along its entire length. You can't believe you've finally found the people to live for, your soulmates. That scar now looks like a distant memory.

"Hey, we're here." Wanda turns to look at you and you quickly pull down the sleeve of the sweatshirt, looking up. Her gaze stops on the sleeve of your sweatshirt and she is about to speak but you quickly get out of the car.

As soon as you get up your body sways and you are forced to lean on the machine to avoid falling.

"Take it easy" Natasha takes you by your hips, making you lean on her. Wanda gets out of the car, giving you an indecipherable look before lifting you up with her powers.

"You can't put weight on that ankle so I don't want to hear anything"

In less than five minutes you are lying on a cot in what looks like an infirmary. Hulk, or better, Bruce, smiles at you as he walks through the door, followed by Natasha. Probably she informed him of everything.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Banner but you can call me Bruce." He looks cute but he's looking at Natasha a little too much for your taste.

"Y / N, Natasha and Wanda's soulmate" Wanda and Natasha hide a smile noticing the jealousy in your voice.

"Sure ..." Bruce clears his throat and gives you a nervous smile, focusing his attention on the tablet he's holding.

"So y / n, what's your last name?"

"Taylor"

"How old are you?" “23”

You notice Wanda and Natasha exchanging glances, Natasha has a smug look on her face.

"Where are the signs of your soul?"

You lift your shirt, baring your belly.

The first words your soulmates said to you are written on your skin, above the ribs from the left side.

“Okay, very good; do you know if you could be pregnant?” you hear Natasha whisper and she gives the doctor a warning look.

"It's okay, Nat," you smile at the Russian spy and shake your head at Bruce. "No, I'm not pregnant"

You see both Natasha and Wanda relaxing and you can't hide a smile.

"Well yes, now I'll have J.A.R.V.I.S. do a scan, it's an A.I. and-"

"I know who is J.A.R.V.I.S., we have already met; right J? "

You look at the camera in the room, smiling. "Nice to see you in a correctly and legally way Miss y / n"

Wanda, Natasha and Bruce give you a questioning look and you feel like you have to explain how you met J.

"About seven years ago I hacked J.A.R.V.I.S. to get some information," you shrug, as if what you did wasn't all that illegal.

Okay, maybe it was, especially seeing the shocked faces of the other three people in the room.

"Miss y / n searched for information on the love life of Miss Maximoff and Miss Romanoff" J.A.R.V.I.S. talks and you would like to break its main server.

The faces of your soulmates go from shocked to amused.

"Oh, really?" Wanda gives you a pride smile.

You nod and then you clear your throat.

"Yes, well, it was a difficult period, that is, adolescence is a difficult period for everyone, right? And you were there and you were ... you are! You are wonderful and I-"

Natasha bursts out laughing and Wanda does the same when she sees that you are embarrassed.

After they have calmed down, Wanda smiles at you and Natasha brushes a lock of hair from her face.

"How didn’t Tony notice it?" "I rescheduled J.A.R.V.I.S. so that he didn't say anything, I didn't want to go to jail, you know how it is"

You give Bruce an amused smirk and he smiles back, pushing his glasses on him.

"I can't wait to see Stark's face, he'll be so pissed that a sixteen year old hacked him without him noticing," Wanda says and smiles at you looking at you proudly.

It will be strange but that look makes you feel good, their mere presence makes you feel capable of anything.

"He will be pissed off for days" Natasha nods and a smile appears on her face "it will be a show"

While Natasha and Wanda talk about how the billionaire Tony Stark will be frustrated and sulky for days, Bruce examines your ankle and as soon as he does, Natasha and Wanda's gazes are focused on you.

"Does it hurt you here?" He gently touches your ankle in three places, putting pressure on the last one and you can't help but make a grimace of pain.

Bruce nods and continues to touch the ankle in other places but you don’t feel nothing.

“Okay, then you have a slight distortion; nothing serious but I advise you not to put weight on it for at least three days "

He turns to Natasha and Wanda.

"It must always be raised when she is sitting and lying down and you have to put ice on it three or four times a day for the next four days"

Bruce turns to you and gives you a small smile.

"Now I have to blindfold its and I'll also give you a pair of crutches, just to be sure."

You nod, arguing would most likely just lead to an argument with Natasha and Wanda and you have absolutely no strength for that.

Bruce walks up to you and takes a small flashlight out of his coat pocket.

"Follow the light please"

He turns on the flashlight and for a moment you see nothing but then your vision clears and you start following the movement of the flashlight.

Bruce turns off the flashlight and picks up the tablet again.

"Are you feel dizzy, nauseous, tired ..?"

You shake your head, you feel so much better than before. "Just a bit tired"

"She had dizzy before," says Natasha and you can't help but roll your eyes.

Bruce finishes wrapping your ankle before speaking. "Mm ... well it's normal that after a head injury to feel a little dizzy and I don't see any other symptoms of a concussion so you should be fine. Of course, if you feel anything, like other symptoms, that I have listed earlier, in the next days call me "

"Sure Bruce, thanks." Wanda and Natasha answer for you as you sit down.

Bruce leaves the room and returns after about twenty seconds with a pair of crutches in his hands, handing them to you.

«Come back s / n, it was a pleasure to meet you and I hope I will see you again soon. Maybe for more pleasant reasons »Bruce looks at you with an amused smile.

You chuckles and nods. You grab your crutches and you watch him. "I hope so too Bruce and thanks again"

Bruce comes out of the infirmary and only the three of you are left.

"So ..." you turn to your soulmates, juggling with crutches.

They smile at you and approach you.

"So ..." Natasha whispers and she comes so close that her face is now inches from yours.

You swallow, your throat gets dry as you try to get your brain to think. Her perfume, very similar to that of jasmine, drives you crazy.

Wanda surrounds your hips with her arms, drawing you in a hug and her perfume of vanilla invades you.

Because of the crutches you find it hard to reciprocate but you succeed and Natasha hugs you both to her.

"We have been looking for you so much moya lybov '(my love)"

Wanda hugs you a little tighter.

"I didn't understand what you said but I was looking for you too much" you smile as soon as you hear their laughter.

You already love the sound they make.

To your chagrin, she releases your hug and leaves the infirmary. Wanda is on your left while Nat is on your right, both of them are ready to catch you in case you stumble.

"You know a lot about us, would you like to tell us something about yourself?" Wanda looks at you softly as you keep walking.

"There isn’t much to say really," you sigh, you knew this moment would come but you didn't think it would come so soon.

"Are you going to university?"

Natasha asks you and you nod, it is one of the few things in your life that you are proud of.

"Computer engineering"

"Wow, so you're a little genius" Wanda looks at you and you can't help but laugh as you shake your head.

You arrive in what you believe to be one of the Avengers' hangout rooms, a kind of living room and kitchen together and you and Wanda take a seat on the sofa.

Natasha goes to the fridge, she opens it and takes some ice from the freezer. She wraps it with a cloth and then she sits next to you.

“It's nothing special, I like computers; they're like my best friends "

Nat gestures for you to continue and she puts ice on your ankle as Wanda lifts it with her powers and stacks the cushions on the coffee table in front of the sofa before letting you sit.

You take a deep breath and you start telling them your story.

"My parents live in San Francisco, my sister lives with them and she works in the family business, the Taylor & Associates"

"The company that built most of the buildings in New York State?" Wanda asks surprised.

You nod with a sigh, obviously their fame precedes them.

“My older sister, she is six years older than me, she graduated in architecture and went to work in the family business. I have a horrible relationship with my family”.

You look down and immediately both Nat and Wanda take your hand and intertwine it with theirs.

"If you don't want to talk about it, we understand y / n" Wanda whispers as Natasha gently strokes your hand.

“No I… I want you to know” you take a deep breath before continuing “the problems started when I realised I liked girls; I was eleven and when I said it, convinced that they would accept me, the world fell on me " some tears fall from your cheeks and immediately your soulmates are quick to dry lovingly : "they kicked me out of the house and I lived on the street for a month my aunt found out what had happened and she took me to her house, I only stayed there for two months because then they took me back for fear that having a daughter away from home would ruin their reputation”.

You see both Natasha and Wanda stiffen and their eyes filled with anger, you squeeze their hands and immediately they look at you, the pain and sadness for what you have had to go through are etched in their faces.

"Until I was eighteen it was a period full of insults and abuse, both psychological and physical" your voice trembles a little and they both approach, trying to make you understand that they are there with you and that they would never treat you in this way: «as soon as I turned eighteen I left that house and I started working and then I went to university. After I turned eighteen they didn't contact me anymore, now I'm no longer their problem.”

Wanda hugs you and Natasha leaves you a kiss on the temple. "You're not a problem honey, never say it and you don't know how much it hurts to know what you've been through and not being there for you," Wanda says.

"But now we are here and we will never leave you." Natasha joins you and hugs you, reaching out to Wanda to take her hand.

"Tell us about your aunt"

A small smile appears on your face as soon as you think of your amazing aunt. “The time with her was the best of my life; she worked hard to buy me a computer and let me cultivate my passion; she died when I was sixteen due to cancer, I always considered her a mother " you bites your lip to force you not to cry.

The next part of the story wasn't something you wanted to tell, at least not today.

You could have omitted some things from the story, right?

"Then I was eighteen and the rest was just work and university and then I met you"

They seem not to notice how quickly you finished the story or your nervousness.

"Thank you for sharing your story with us." Wanda strokes your hand while Natasha rests her head on your shoulder and gently strokes your side.

The sound of a ringing phone interrupts your moment.

Natasha takes it and holds it to her ear.

"Romanoff"

You play with Wanda's rings while Natasha talks on the phone. "No Steve I can't-ok I get it, we're on our way"

As soon as she hangs up she sighs and looks at you with an apologetic look. “Hey, okay; you have to do Avengers stuff. I understand"

Wanda stands up, unwillingly extricating herself from you as Natasha tugs at the leather jacket hanging from the wall.

It looks at her divinely.

"Be careful please," you look at them and you give them a smile.

“Careful is our middle name” Nat winks at you and then hugs you, followed by Wanda.

“Stay here, we'll be back in less than an hour; promised"

They give you one last smile before heading to the elevator at the back of the room.

You still remember the Avengers tower plan you saw during your little hack, it was hard to forget such a beautiful piece of architecture.

You look around, you still have your ankle raised and the ice has now fallen to the ground. You should get up, stretch your legs a little maybe but you absolutely don't want to.

You take the phone in your hand and you open your eyes wide seeing what time it is.

Shit, the job!

Okay, I think "Soulmates" will become a series. What do you think?

Taglist: (send me a message if you want to be added)

@your-my-mission @fishlikestuff @liladoesfanfics @coollemonsaresour @nuianced-tck-girl @ktstwice

Marvel Masterlist

“Soulmates”

Part I

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

Part VII

Part VIII

Part IX

[applerubyy]

Ciao Adios

Summary: When you find your boyfriend cheating on you yo decide to expose him in the pettiest way you can think of.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader (some Loki x Reader if you squint)

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Cheating and cursing (I think that’s it?)

A/N: Hi! So this is my first time writing and posting anything here so if its terrible please tell me nicely :). This is some AU where everyone lives and all is happy ok? Also english is not my first language so I apologize in advance for any grammar or spelling mistakes. Anyway, if it turns out that some of you like it I think I’d be willing to do a part 2 if you like. Hope you enjoy it! <3. Btw, the gif is not mine so credit to whoever made it.

Crack. That’s the sound of your heart breaking, ripped to pieces in just a few seconds. And no, you were not exaggerating. Seeing your boyfriend kissing someone else while taking off their clothes would do that to a person. And in his office of all places.

How did you not see that coming? They had a lot in common and they did spend a lot of time together but you were just so naïve thinking that he was the most trust-worthy person ever that you looked the other way and believed him when he told you she was “just a friend”. 

Just a friend my ass you thought as you calmly walked to your room. No running, that would draw attention to you and you didn’t need that. No crying either, because once you started you wouldn’t be able to stop. Walking down the hallway and taking the elevator to your floor feels like it takes forever. 

Time is funny that way. It has that annoying tendency to slow down or speed up at the worst times. Like when you were in college and the clock seemed to literally stop, you would look at the time and it was 10:20 am and check again after what felt like half an hour for it to be 10:25 am. Or like when you are having fun with your friends at a club and you see it’s 12:30 but when you look again a few minutes later it’s 2:40. Right now it feels like the former, time seems to have slowed down. Maybe Dr. Strange did something to it? No, that’s stupid, he wouldn’t play with time that way.

Finally the elevator pings open and you rush to your room. Well, it’s not only your room anymore. You share it with him and everything is a reminder of what you just saw. The art supplies on the desk by the window, the famous shield leaning against the wall near the door, the messy bed where you sleep together every night …

And every single thing brings tears to your eyes until finally, the dam breaks and you let the tears fall down. You bring your hand to your mouth to muffle a sob that brings you to your knees. Crying is the only thing you can do right now because your brain is stuck on a loop. All you can see is Steve kissing her, unbuttoning her shirt with one hand while the other grabbed her ass. And all you can hear are their moans, Sharon’s whimper when he touched her and his groan as he did so. 

And now you are full on crying and choking on air because that scene keeps replaying itself over and over no matter how much you want it to stop. And you do, Gosh you do because there is so much your heart can take and this is too much. It shatters you in more ways than one. It makes you question everything you thought you knew about him, about her, about your relationship and about yourself.

You remember the first time you met him. You were already in college and looking for an internship. Luckily you happened to be the niece of the one and only Pepper Potts. And who wouldn’t want to work near Earth's mightiest heroes? You sure did. You were studying journalism and communications in New York and working with the Avengers was the ultimate dream, one that was about to come true.

Your first day was uneventful, it consisted mainly of coffee runs, delivering files and passing messages along. That was until your third coffee run where you ran straight into a wall, well actually it wasn’t a wall but it felt like it. The coffee spilled everywhere, on your clothes and his, and you were going to fall on your butt if it wasn’t for him grabbing your arms to steady you. Imagine your surprise when you looked up to see Captain America himself.

And that’s the moment your love story started. It seemed like something straight out of a romantic comedy and you loved it. It started with flirting, a date and then another, him asking you to be his girlfriend and finally asking you to move in once you graduated. It felt like a fairytale.

Tony wasn't very happy about you and the Capsicle but he saw how happy you were so he tried to be happy too. Tony was your uncle even if you didn’t share any blood. Growing up you would visit your aunty Pepper in New York and he was always around, you even stayed at his house when Pepper and him had to work. So, you two became really close even before he became Iron Man and started dating your aunt. 

The same thing happened with Rhody. Your close relationship with Tony meant you were close to him too, seeing as he was one of the most important people in his life. Rhody treated you like his niece and was the only one he didn’t make fun of which you took as the ultimate compliment. 

So those three you knew before you started working at the compound and before Steve. But once you started working there you met the rest of the Avengers. Being Pepper and Tony's niece and Steve's girlfriend meant they all wanted to get to know you. 

You met Bruce Banner, the Hulk, and you became really close. But that was thanks to his close relation with Tony and all the time you spent with him working on his social media presence to make sure people saw him as more than just the green monster who smashes things. After a while of working there they promoted you and now you manage the Avengers social media.

Nat and Wanda became your best friends from the moment you met. You just clicked and hung out as much as possible, being the only girls on the team meant they were really happy to have another female added to the mix. As for Vision, he liked you because Wanda did, simple as that.

Bucky and Sam were the funniest people ever, their constant bickering always brought a smile to your face and they welcomed you with open arms. Happy that their friend had finally found someone to be with.

Thor and Clint were like the fun uncles you got to see every once in a while. The God of Thunder was like an excited puppy and would hug you till you couldn’t breath every time he came to Earth and Clint would joke around with you and FaceTime you when he was with his kids because they loved you (“best babysitter ever” that called you).

You met Peter when he started working for your uncle. He was a sweet kid and your love of memes, vines and pop culture made you instant friends. He would ask you for advice on girls and tell you science jokes.

But we all know not all fairytales have a happy ending and this one definitely didn’t. You’re feeling so many things at once. There’s anger, sadness, jealousy and something else you can’t put your finger on. You keep crying and are unable to move from your kneeling position on the floor. Checking the clock you realize you’ve been on the floor crying for an hour so you stand up.

Taking a shower seems like the best thing to do, your head is pounding and your face is all puffy. As you shower it hits you, that other feeling swirling around is inevitability. In a way you always thought he was too good for you, you always thought he would eventually get tired of you and trade you for someone else. 

It just hurt too much that it was her, the woman he shared so much with. The niece of Peggy Carter, his first love. An agent of S. H. I. E. L. D.  Someone who risked their life for the world like he did. Someone prettier. Someone better than you.

Yeah, you were definitely on a self-pity party. But you needed to be miserable for a while, to cry it all out, to hurt so that you could move on to the next stage of grief: anger. And when that came, there was no stopping you.

You weren’t a mean person, or a petty one. You gave everyone countless opportunities and forgave way too easily so you never really got angry. But when you did, when you said enough is enough, yeah, you better watch out. That could be the meanest bitch you ever met and she had no mercy.

So you got out of the shower, dried yourself and started getting ready. Tony was throwing yet another party about who knows what and you were not missing it. You liked parties, they were the perfect excuse for wearing pretty dresses and putting on make up. And tonight you were going all out. 

Your inner bitch was concocting a plan and you were going with it.

You hear the door open and prepare yourself to put on the best acting of your life. You take a deep breath and in the sweetest voice you can muster say: “Steve is that you babe?”

“Yeah doll it’s me” you hear him say. A few second later he pops into the bedroom and gives you a peck on the lips as you continue with your makeup.

“How was your day?” Steve asks as he takes off his clothes, probably to take a shower. “I missed you today, i went by your office but you weren’t there” he says with a small frown between his eyes. You could stare at his blue eyes forever but snap out of it when you remember what he did. 

“Oh not much, i left work earlier to get ready for tonight” you answer. Shit your work. You really did leave like that, but after tonight hopefully they’ll understand. “You should start getting ready, the party starts in thirty minutes”.

He smiles at you and tells you he’s going to take a quick shower before getting dressed. He goes to the bathroom and you feel like breaking the mirror but instead take a few deep breaths and remind yourself he’s getting what he deserves later on. With that in mind you finish applying you makeup and smile at yourself, you look good. Moving on to your hair you decide to do some loose waves and that’s it, you really don’t know how to make those complicated updos.

Steve gets out of the shower and starts putting on his suit. Men really do have it easier you think to yourself when you see all the work you had to do and he just showers and that’s it.

You take your dress out of the closet and admire it. It really is beautiful. It has a deep plunging neckline that shows a lot of cleavage and is skin tight with a slit on one side. The fact that it is silver with sequins makes it even better. Pepper helped you pick this dress. 

You put on the dress and admire yourself in the mirror. You look good. Behind you, you hear a whistle and turn around to see Steve watching you lust in his eyes. He comes closer and grabs you by the waist, pulling you to him.

“You look stunning” he says as he wets his bottom lip. “I can’t wait to take it off of you when we get back”. Lying cheating bastard.

“Can't wait” you lie as you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him. This is just a kiss goodbye you tell yourself. One last kiss before he’s out of your life and probably runs to her. Tears threaten to fill your eyes but you hold them down. Not now.

You break the kiss when the need to breathe is too strong. Grabbing his hand you start walking towards the door and say: “Come on, we’re already late”.

——————————————————————————

The party had already started once you walk in and in true Tony fashion it is elegant and extravagant. Everyone is there: S. H. I. E. L. D. agents, the Avengers themselves, politicians and a few famous people. 

You and Steve walk to the bar and order drinks. A whiskey for him and a strawberry daiquiri for you, yes you are that basic but hey, it tastes awesome. He offers you his arm and with drinks in your hands you start looking for your friends. A lot of people stop you on the way, nobody wants to miss an opportunity to talk to Captain America.

One thing, or rather on person, catches your attention: Loki. He’s sitting on one of the cushions alone with a drink in his hand. It’s weird to see him there. Sure, he was redeeming himself for what he did in 2012 and Thor said he was doing better but he rarely left Asgard (he “hated mortals”) and when he did come to Earth it wasn’t for a party.

As if he could feel you staring he turns his head and locks his eyes with yours. You weren’t going to lie, he was gorgeous. He was incredibly tall, had those charming green eyes and was actually funny (but you’d never admit that to anyone). But you were in love with Steve and never saw him as anything more than Thor's hot brother. And everyone in the Avengers was hot so that’s not saying much.

You turn away from him and see Nat and Wanda on the dance floor and you tell Steve you’ll see him later and to go find his friends. He’ll need them after tonight you think to yourself. You greet the girls and start dancing with them, for a moment forgetting about what you saw today and putting Loki out of your mind.

The three of you decided to take a break and order some more drinks. Once at the bar Wanda orders for you and when your drinks arrive you go back to the dance floor. You spend the next few hours dancing, talking to your friends and pretending that nothing's wrong. Talking to Steve and pretending that nothing's wrong. Hugging Steve and pretending that nothing's wrong. Kissing Steve and pretending that nothing's wrong.

The fact that Sharon is at the party doesn’t help at all. When you see her talking or touching him you feel like you’re gonna lose it but you remain strong. You remind yourself of your plan and try to keep them out of your mind.

There’s a small stage at the far end of the room and you see your uncle Tony step on it and grab the microphone.

“Hello everyone and thank you for coming to another one of my amazing parties. I hope you are having a good time and taking advantage of the free bar over there” he points to the other side of the room and continues, “Now for what we have all been waiting for: karaoke! And yes, i want everyone to sing something because that’s the whole point of this. I'm looking at you Manchurian Candidate, you’re singing”.

With that he gets off the stage and passes the mic to Sam who decided to sing a Marvin Gaye song. He’s pretty good actually but you can’t fully concentrate on him because your mind is going a thousand miles an hour for what it’s going to happen later.

More people go up and sing their songs and you applaud when they’re done. Nobody is talking much, they're all too busy either laughing at the others performance, drinking or actually listening to the songs. You’re sitting with Steve to your right, Bruce to your left and the rest of the Avengers nearby. You’re your own little group.

It’s finally your turn and as you walk to the stage you can hear your friends whistling and cheering you on. Once you’re up on the stage you choose the song and start singing. 

Ask you once, ask you twice now

There's lipstick on your collar

You say she's just a friend now

Then why don't we call her?

So you wanna go home with someone

To do all the things you used to do to me

I swear, I know you do

Used to take me out in your fancy car

And make out in the rain

And when I ring you up

Don't know where you are

'Til I hear her say your name

Used to sing along when you played guitar

That's a distant memory

Hope she treats you better than you treated me, ha

As you continue singing you get more and more confident and take the mic. You walk off the little stage and over to your friends while dancing and you can see them smiling, clapping and having fun. They have no idea how much i mean all of this you think. You look at Steve and he’s completely oblivious. Good, you want to take him by surprise. You arrive at your little circle of friends and start singing the chorus.

I'm onto you, yeah you

I'm not your number one

I saw you with her

Kissing and having fun

If you're giving her all of your money and time

I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine on you, yeah, you

Ciao adios, I'm done

Ciao adios, I'm done

Ciao adios, I'm done

You keep dancing and go back to back with Wanda who’s also singing along. You then turn to Nat and she grabs your hand and makes you do a little spin. 

After three, after four times

Why did I bother?

Tell me how many more times

Does it take to get smarter?

Don't need to deny the hurt and the lies

And all of the things you did to me

I swear, I know you did

And now you take her out in your fancy car

And make out in the rain

And when she rings you up

She know where you are

But I know differently

Now she sings along when you play guitar

Making brand new memories

Hope you treat her better than you treated me

You go up to Tony and he starts dancing around you busting out some dad moves. You laugh and keep on singing and dancing.

I'm onto you, yeah you

I'm not your number one

I saw you with her

Kissing and having fun

If you're giving her all of your money and time

I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine on you, yeah, you

Ciao adios, I'm done (I'm done)

Ciao adios, I'm done (no, no, no, no)

Ciao adios, I'm done

If you're giving her all of your money and time

I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine on you, yeah, you

Ciao adios, I'm done

And now you take her out in your fancy car

And make out in the rain

And when she rings you up

She know where you are

But I know differently

Now she sings along when you play guitar

Making brand new memories

Hope you treat her better than you treated me

You walk back to the stage as you sing and step up. You put the mic back into place and sing the last part of the song.

I'm onto you, yeah you

I'm not your number one

I saw you with her (with her)

Kissing and having fun (and fun)

If you're giving her all of your money and time

I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine on you, yeah, you

Ciao adios, I'm done (I'm done)

Ciao adios, I'm done (you get on with your life, I'll get on with my life)

Ciao adios, I'm done

If you're giving her all of your money and time

I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine on you, yeah, you

Ciao adios, I'm done

When you’re done people are clapping and cheering and you look to your friends to see them all smiling. You look at everyone and make a little mock bow and when you straighten you see Loki sitting on the same couch as before. But this time he’s looking at you and he’s laughing, not smiling and cheering but actually laughing.

You look back at your friends and say “Thank you, thank you” with a smile on your face. You continue , “I wanted to dedicate this song to my boyfriend Steve” you point at him.

“In case it wasn’t clear enough, i wanted to tell you that i saw you with Sharon”. You could hear a pin drop. No one was talking and all eyes were on you. This is what you wanted, to humiliate him as much as he did you. And what better way to do it than publicly? Oh but you weren’t done.

You could see Steve's face going pale and nobody knew where to look, if at you or at him. Tony look ready to murder him as did Rhody, Pepper, Peter and Bruce. Thor, Clint and Vision looked shocked. But Bucky, Sam, Nat and Wanda looked guilty.

Your heart breaks a little more when you realize they knew. You can’t really blame Bucky and Sam for not telling you, they were Steve's friends after all. But you thought the girls were your friends, that they would have told you. Apparently you overestimated that friendship.

You keep on smiling and continue “So… I’m breaking up with you. Hope she was a good fuck and wasn’t uncomfortable with the fact that you were once in love with her aunt”. You do a dramatic pause and make a little disgusted face. “Anyway, if I’m lucky i´ll never see you again. Have a great life!”

And with that, you walk off the stage and make your way to your friends. Steve is rooted to the spot and his face is red with embarrassment. You walk up to him, look him straight in the eye and give him an evil smile. He gulps and opens his mouth as if he’s about to say something and then closes it. He does is two more times and still nothing comes out.

You turn to your group and look at Wand and Nat, who can’t seem to be able to look you in the eye. You sigh and say: “Who want enemies when they can have you as their best friends right?”. They look up then and start talking. Telling you how sorry they are and to please forgive them. You raise your hand to silence them and they do.

You go to your aunt and uncle who look like there should be smoke coming out of their ears and say: “I’m gonna stay in a hotel for the night, can’t stand to be here anymore”. Tony scrunches his eyebrows and look at you like you’re crazy.

“Hell no. You’re staying here. We can find him another room to sleep in but you’re not leaving. If anyone’s leaving is Mr. Star-spangled over there” he practically screams the last part as he points at Steve.  

You take a deep breath and hug him. It takes him by surprise but he puts his arms around you. “I appreciate it uncle Tony but i can’t stay at the compound, it just hurts too much” you say as you let go. Turning to your aunt you hug her as well and say: “Thank you for everything but I quit”.

The moment those words leave your mouth everyone starts talking at the same time telling you how crazy you are and to think about it. You just smile at them and tell them you already made up your mind. “I'm gonna go pack a bag and ask Happy to take me to a hotel nearby. Please make sure he doesn’t follow” you say as you point to a still red-faced Captain America. 

With that you turn around and leave. The room is silent for a few seconds before you hear your friends all screaming at Steve. You look around for a second and notice that Loki is staring at you with a smirk on his face. When you look him in the eye he raises his glass at you ant takes a sip. 

You give him a small smile and walk through the doors towards the elevator.  

[tokoyamisstuff]

Dark Side Of The Moon Ch. 2 - Dark! Loki x Reader

Chapter 2: “On The Run”

Chapter Summary: Even though you can’t help feeling drawn to the lunatic that looks like your deceased lover, you try to surpress your feelings and flee to find your friends.

Warnings: Loki is fucking crazy, Violence, Torture, Jotun! Loki, Mentions of Death, Abuse, Unhealthy Relationship, Mentions of Rape

Words: 3360

[Story Masterlist]

Masterlist to my other works right ->Here<-

“And the shark, it has tears,

And they run down its face.

But the shark lives in the water -

So the teardrops one can’t see.”

- Rammstein - Haifisch

Taglist: @winterglcw​ @commonintrest​ @emmojoy​ @satansbra @just-someone-who-likes-to-write​​

“She died through my hands.”

That sentence replayed over and over in your head, forming a continuous loop as you silently formed those words with your own lips.

“It’s not him!” you called out to yourself, since your reason had seemingly disappeared ever  since you first saw the person that was a perfect copy of the man you once loved.

You were rolling around on the bare floor, shivering as you softly punched your head to not get lost in thought again. The emperor didn’t even have the basic decency to give you any clothes back, only having the Citauri throw you into an old dungeon to keep you prisoner - or whatever he’d plan to do with you.

That man was so different of your Loki.

And the timeline both of you were currently in had exceeded your worst expectations, making you wonder if fate just wanted to torment you.

In this universe, Thanos never even got so far as to collect all of the Infinity Stones. Loki Laufeyson had won the battle of New York and took over this world, then somehow double-crossed and killed the Titan. So right now, he possessed the power of the Tesseract, as well as the Cascet of Ancient Winters. For what reason he kept that Jotun relic was unknown, probably out of nostalgic sentiment you assumed.

Afterwards, the God of Mischief had killed his brother Thor in bad blood, as well as torturing Natasha - the exact way he threatened her back in your world, when he was in his cell. Clint was still his servant, as it seemed. You had seen him when they took you to his cell.

He couldn’t get rid of all the Avengers, however - even though their current location was unknown. They were in hiding for many years now, probably trying to get their hands on the other Infinity Stones. 

Also noticeable was the fact that this universe had neither Hela, nor Captain Marvel - so one good and one bad thing to compensate for each other. Not that they’d be a match for Loki in his current form anyway...

And there was no Dr. Strange on this version of Earth, your last bit hope to escape disappearing as you learned about this fact.

That much was all you had learned by now, mainly through tricking and manipulating some of your guards into giving you information.

All in all, you only knew for sure was that this world’s Loki was a terribly trong, murderous sociopath, intoxicated by power and loneliness.

And you had become the focus of the little emotion left in him.

It was hard trying to surpress all the voices and memory submerging in your mind. So there was nothing left for you except for rolling up into a ball, lying on the cold floor as you prepared to be washed over with sadness and guilt once again.

_____

“Would you help me recieve the greatest honor by becoming mine and mine only, Lady Y/N?”

How could you ever forget this moment?

Back on the Asgardian refugee ship, your Loki had asked you that very question, now popping up in your mind once again.

Every detail was still as bright as daylight, preserved deep into your heart.

You clearly remembered the small, green box he had summoned out of thin air, presenting you a plain but still incredibly beautiful ring. The golden piece of jewlery formed a snake eating itself - a symbol of infinity and wholeness.

It was just his way of being thoughtful.

“I-I prepared this a while go, to be precize...but I never thought of being worthy” he had stammered and you found yourself speechless, admiring that very scene playing in front of your eyes. “A-Anyway, after all that happened, I realized that all moments I spent happy, were when I was with you. I don’t want to lose you again, Y/N! And I feared, well...that it might be too late to ask someday.”

It was most unjust that this most blissful moment would be interrupted by a great rumbling shaking through the whole spaceship - and even before Thor would crash Loki’s proposal, both of you were aware just what kind of danger you would have to face soon:

Thanos.

Your numbers had already been decimated by Ragnarok, all that’s left being some civilian refugees, injured and traumatized. The only ones capable of fighting left were Loki, Thor, Heimdall, you and the Hulk.

Yet all of your struggles were to no avail, only able to watch and scream and bag at the Titan, so he’d at least spare those innocent lives as he mercilessly slaughtered woman and children alike.

“Fucking monster!” Pulling out a gun, your mind went completely blank as you gave it some last, desperate attempt to save or avenge just anyone.

No bullet would even come close enough to pierce his skin, as Ebony Maw would deflect them to hit yourself and people close to you. “I’m not the only one you should see responsible for this outcome” Thanos scoffed.

“What do you mea-” Your voice got swallowed by a pained groan as you saw Loki, kneeling in front of Thanos and revealing the one thing he was after:

The Tesseract.

“You......took it?!?” The only thing managing to escape your throat was a high-pitched yell as Loki’s face contorted in disappointment and regret - just now realizing that he had put you all in danger.

They would’ve never went after you if it wasn’t for him. He had doomed his race, failed you and what was left of his family.

“How could you put us all in danger?! I thought you had changed! You swore it with your life, Loki! That you loved me more than you desired power!”

No answer.

Instead, the god would prepare one of his speeches, directing words of undying fidelity at Thanos and his arms. And even though it was meant to be lies, a play to make the threat feel save, every single word hit your heart like knives.

“How could I ever marry someone like you?!” feeling as if Loki most recent, selfish act was suffocating you, you could only whisper - yet he understood very clearly, the facade dropping in an instant.  “I-I hate you...traitor...”

If only you knew that those would be the last words you’d ever direct at him...

Loki materializes a dagger, desperately trying to make up for his biggest mistake yet, and at least save you, the light of his cursed existence, and the only thing he had ever done in his life full of wrongs.

But Thanos looked right through the charade from the very beginning, using the stones to trap Loki in their hold - and then, grabbing the god’s throat.

“You have what you want, Thanos!” Thor tried to bargain, “There’s even less than half of my race left. Please, just let us go!”

“Oh, I will” he spoke stony, then shifting his attention to the god in his hands. “But first, I’ll do you a favor and erase that disgraceful pest all of you were too weak to take care of.”

As he was struggling for air, gasping uncontrollably as he tried to free his neck from the Giant, Loki’s glare wandered to you - and when your eyes met, both of your hearts skipped a beat.

He smiled. In the face of death, the last thing he wanted you to remember was the good things after all.

And seeing the ring on your finger, how couldn’t he? Loki knew you were about to say yes - and knowing this was more than enough for someone like him.

After all, the God of Mischief was used to happiness being taken away from him as soon as he thought it to be okay to open up to someone.

But you were safe. That’s all that counted for him!

It was like his eyes were telling you “It’s gonna be alright. I’m sorry, Y/N...I love you.”

You don’t remember much after that, having a mental breakdown as you had to watch the love of your life perish - and forever thinking about how you had turned him down just seconds before.

A part of you had died with him back then.

_____

The creaking sound of the cell’s door made you jump from your dream - but the person which entered was one you had never seen before.

A monster.

It’s silhouette very much resembled Loki, yet his skin was painted in a dark shade of blue, with thin linings carved across his whole body. He had fangs and even horns coming out of his temple to add at that.

The beast’s eyes were shining in a threatening red, glistering contrastful in the dark hallway. But the worst were those black irises, absent of any form of compassion - there seemed to be only rage, confusion and hate.

“Fuck!” you screamed, terrified and fearing for your life. Shuffling until your back hit the wall of a corner of the room, you defendingly put your arms in front of yourself. “Go away! Don’t to-ouch me!”

Loki cleared his voice as he put the Casket away, not making any efforts to revert his outer appearance back to ‘normal’. He had admired it on his way to your cell, like he’d do many times a day when he was reminiscing about the day he learned about his heritage...

...and how he had killed Odin, his adoptive father, with that very relic, afterwards clearing the universe of that despiseful race of the Jotunn - making him the last of his kind.

“Oh my” a dark voice finally declared, “Seems like ‘your’ Loki never dared to show you his true form. Pathetic.”

No, that wasn’t completely true. Your lover had at least told you back then. But when did you ever have the time to talk things over and heal, being dragged from one fight to another?!

The Jotunn felt great joy as he towered over you, gleefully watching your naked body cowering to his knees, covered in goosebumps and shaking heavily. Your breath was clearly visible while you tried to cover your shame as best as you could, wary glare never leaving the abomination that was just lurking right in front of you.

“Wha- OUCH!” you hissed as the Frost Giant took ahold of your wrist, monitoring the pain spreading across your face as his touch would frostburn any skin he was touching with ease.

Loki grinned menacingly as he let go off of you, admiring his handywork as the first layer of your skin had already died, crumbling away to reveal your pink flesh.

“Oh, how I missed that” he explained, much to your surprise ripping a piece of his own clothing apart to cover the wound with it. “Your kind is so easily broken. It’s always fascinating to watch.”

“Just kill me already, you freak!”

Well, Loki had in fact spent hours after hours thinking about how to handle you, and yet he couldn’t decide. Obviously he would’ve killed you right away if it was otherwise, but he still had a soft spot for you somewhere deep in his heart, after all.

And it upset him more than he’d ever admit. So he tried to assert his dominance, to ease the feeling of weakness and loss of control.

“I’m only doing you a favor, woman.” The god would touch your cheek, making you flinch away - but this time, it wouldn’t hurt. Never would he dare to scar this most beautiful face!

“The man you loved was just the same as me, yet it seemed he wasn’t completely honest with you. What you are seeing right now is the form of a Frost Giant...the monstrosity you chose to love.”

“L-Loki…”

It was no surprise that he saw tears filling the rim of your eyes - yet out of a whim, you pulled your arms around his neck, tears wetting his robe. He gasped, unable to act in any way as he stiffened in the pose.

That was by far not the reaction he had been expecting - and he surprised you as well. You had thought him to instantly shove you away, beat you agaib or even bite - but he just kneeled there, not daring to make a move.

"Why?” Now his voice was much softer, pained even. “I’m a monster. I hurt you. So why?”

“I’m so sorry” you whimpered, words being interrupted by heavy sobbing. “I try to fight it, I really do. But I just can’t, I-I”

“Aren’t you afraid?”

“How could I be? It’s you, Loki...no matter what you look like.” Eventually, you’d face him again, wiping the tears out of your face when for another moment, you made yourself forget that this was a completely different person. “I was just surprised, that’s all. Letting me see this form out of nowhere...”

“Y/N, I’m not the same as him” he retorted, knowing very well what it’s like to lose oneself in daydreams and illusions to ease the pain of loss. His sight wandered around the room instead of your face, stating “I did horrendous things, dear. Tormented and killed countless. It’s unforgiveable.”

“So did he” you stated, even though you knew those two Loki’s couldn’t be compared. “And you should already know: I feel dead inside, ever since he died.”

“You really loved him, didn’t you?” When you nodded confidently, Loki sighed ashamed, reluctantly touching your wrist again. A warm magic would flow through you, healing the wound in no time. “I wish she had felt the same for me...”

For a while, both of you were plainly sitting in uncomfortable silence, with Loki even lending you his cloak to warm yourself up.

“It’s not him” you told yourself once again. “It’s not him. It’s not him. IT’S NOT HIM!!! That man is dangerous and instable. He can’t be trusted!”

And then, finally, you dared asking, cutting through the thick air:

“What exactly happened to me, in this world?”

Loki’s face contorted in agony, rubbing his face as if in deep pain. “Is this really necessary? I already told you. She died because of me.”

“More details would be nice” you retorted bluntly, not really caring if he was to have a violent outburst again. Curiosity got the better of you at that moment.

The emperor’s voice was low and husky, and just now you realized how damn tired he looked - with dark rings under his eyes, and more pale than you had ever remembered him.

The weight of his sins sure had taken a stroll on that sensitive man.

"I saw the ring” he uttered deeply affected, “That’s something I could only dream of. Thinking about it, I think she never really loved me in the first place. Or maybe she just grew tired of my lies. Understandable, I have to admit...”

“Yes, it was quite the opposite, even” he continued after a long, strained breath of his. “She hated me. Joined the Avengers and tried to kill me, several times. Only years later I learned about the truth: Already far in the past, back on Asgard, she betrayed me. After I fell off the Bifrost, she thought myself dead - and consoled herself by bedding my brother. I had to kill him, I-I-I just had to!”

Loki’s hands were shaking so frantically you could feel it from over there, mad eyes darting over your physique to take in your reaction. “After they finally lost, I took her prisoner. Seven months of trying to make her mine, no matter the methods. Mind-controlling her would not be satisfying. So I tortured her, played games with her sanity, and- I’d rather not speak about how else I violated her.”

“You, wha-” Now you were the one shivering in horrid anticipation, “You raped me...?”

No answer. Instead he just finished this disastrous story.

“One day, I went to her cell like I always did. I hoped once her mind was broken she’d stop struggling to be mine. But she never did. You Y/N’s are quite the fighters, as it seems.”

“Wha- wwhat happened to me...I mean, ‘her’?”

A loud whine escaped his vocal cords as he hit the wall right next to your face, making you suck in a pained breath.

“She used her chains to hang herself. There was nothing I could do. Ever since then I knew I’m cursed to inflict pain on anything I hold dear.”

"D-Don’t give me that self-pitying bullshit” you wanted to shout at his face - but the cramping in your heart as well as the hyperventillation made talking impossible.

How could one do something like that to a person they claimed to love?!

“Go” you whimpered, already shuffling away from him and he could hear anguish and fear drop out of every vocal, and he realized you were having a panic attack. “Please!”

Loki closed his eyes, letting out one last, deep sigh. He knew he owed you that much.

“Very well.”

That whole night, you spent crying and screaming to your hearts avail, unable to process your current situation and newfound knowledge.

So that would be your life from now on? Being hurt mentally and physically, frostburnt and hurt and violated against your will - all while looking at a face that remembered you of happier days?

Never!

Things were just like that evil Loki said: You are a fighter!

And if you couldn’t help that crazy man, you would at least help yourself! The Avengers are still out there, somewhere. You needed to escape and help them!

How could you have been so blind all those years?

Loki - your Loki - would have never wanted to you give up. He’d want you to survive and live your life to it’s fullest, trying to make the best out of everything you’ve got.

Just like he always did. That much you had learned from him.

“I’m sorry, Loki. If I die, I can’t even remember you...I love you…”

Breaking out succeeded faster than you could ever think it would take - because when you’d finally get out of your fetal courl and wandered across the cell, you realized Loki didn’t properly close the heavy steel door back when he rushed away from you.

“It’s not him. There’s no helping that man. I have to find my friends, I-”

Still shocked and scared and traumatized, you didn’t even realize that someone was watching you, not even questioning that the hallways were oddly empty.

You sneaked out of an open window, bare feet feeling the morning dew as you shook away Lokis cloak and ran as fast as your feet could carry you.

There was it - the fence.

No one could tell you what kind of world would await you outside of that property as you swiftly avoided some guards, rushing through the all so beautiful garden.

But as soon as you reached out to climb the railing, you felt someone balling a fist in your hair, harshly holding you back and causing you to stumble and fall.

“I thought you to be different…” an all too familiar voice grumbled. Loki didn’t even want to hear any apology or excuse, kicking your guts so heavily that you had to throw up, cramping on the ground.

“Don’t you dare to run away ever again!” he now yelled furiously, "She tried it too...so damn.many.times…!”

But before you could even respond, he suddenly began to cry uncontrollably. “I thought you would stay. Do you think I like to do this?!”

His voice was laced with grief and regret, yet he kept on forming countless bruises on your body. “Why can’t you fucking love me, hel?!”

You didn’t know how long his violent crying fit lasted, with him weeping as he let off some steam on your helpless self.

There was no trace of the hurt, regretful man left you talked to in your cell earlier. After being finished, having reclaimed a fraction of composure, Loki pressed your face in between his hands, ripping on your mangled body to face him.

“Fate gifted me another chance to possess you, Y/N. And I will form you into a magnificent pet, I promise.”

_______

If you want to get on the taglist (or deleted from lmao) feel free to ask! ♡

Feedback is always appreciated!

[helaisthequeen]

Without You - Chapter Two

Ch 1

The link to AO3

Tw. Major character death, grieving

I hope you enjoy!

~~

After the successful sim Tony decided to turn in for the night, he knew he was going to dream about Peter so he could only hope that it would be one of those rare occasions when it was a good dream rather than a nightmare haunting him, because ever since he lost the love of his life he had been having nightmares. He would see Peter's disappointed face right after their fight the previous night, who would later be the face who would haunt his dreams.

He would dream about every fight they had, all the mistakes that he had made and every dream was different from the other but this one was a recurring one. It was the morning before it happened.

~~~~

“Hi sweetie, the usual?” The woman behind the counter asked. “No thanks, I think I’m gonna try a cinnamon latte with a triple espresso shot, please.” The older man replied while looking up at the menu. When he looked down he saw him.

“Peter? You’re working today?”

“Yeah well some people need to work to make a living, you know. Not everyone is born a billionaire.” Peter said annoyed, thinking about their fight last night, which ended in Peter taking the car and going to his aunt May’s apartment.

“Well I’m sorry for saying what I said. You know I didn’t mean it.” The older man said while paying for his drink.

“Well I think you did.” The young man said. “Now I’m working, can we take this at home after my shift ends.” He later added.

“I’ll see you home after noon then? You do get off at 12 PM right?” Tony asked him a little hesitantly.

“You did know I worked today.” The young man shook his head in disbelief.

“Yeah, well you wrote it in our calendar, plus I know your schedule in and out.” Tony stated. “And I’m a little obligated to go here because you’re my fiancé, and this place makes the best coffee in town.”

“Thanks Tony,” The owner said smiling. “Can you guys just work things through so Peter can stop moping when he’s working.” May said, while finishing his drink. “Here's your latte Tony.” She handed him his drink and Tony thanked her, to which she just nodded and started to take another customer’s order.

“I’ll see you at home Pete.” Tony sipped his latte and said goodbye to Peter’s aunt.

~~~~

The thing is, they never got to have that talk and work things through because when Tony got home he got a call from Steve saying that there has come up a new world-wide threat by the name of Thanos, who wants to decrease half of the universe's population. Remembering his vision from 2015 Tony put on his nano casing and tapped it twice and his Iron Man suit covered his body and he took off. By the time Peter got home he found that his fiancé was not there.

He picked up his phone to call him but before he could his spidey sense told him something was very wrong, so quickly he put on his suit and started to swing out into the city. But when he saw the giant spaceship he just stopped swinging and landed in a park, that’s when he saw Tony in his suit a couple of blocks away from him. He started to swing again and landed right beside Bruce and some other guy he didn’t recognize.

“Peter?” Bruce looked surprised at seeing Peter. “Good thing you are here, the more the merrier.” Bruce looked like he was trying to summon the hulk but it did not work.

“What is happening? Who are those guys? And who is he?” Peter asked, pointing at Strange. Peter got into a fighting pose as Bruce answered his questions.

“Oh that’s Strange.” Bruce said.

“What’s strange?” He looked confused at what Bruce had just said.

“What no. His name is Strange.”

“His name is.. Strange?” Peter was so confused at this point. But nonetheless Peter reached out his hand for Strange to shake but he just rolled his eyes and started with his spells.

“Oh okay, no hand shake. No problem. Um.. well my name is Peter. Peter Parker.” “It’s Dr. Strange, not just Strange.”

“Oh, we are using our made up names, I’m Spider Man.”

“Stark, where did you find this one?” Stephen said in an annoyed tone.

“Um excuse you! He’s my fiancé, so treat him with respect. Oh right I forgot, you don’t have any!” Tony sounded very annoyed at this point.

~~~~

As Peter tried to attack Thanos but instead got his ass kicked and thrown into Strange, “Honey are you okay?” Tony flew down to check on him but the young man just told him he was fine and that they needed to focus on the plan. Tony looked hurt but did as he was told and as he took off he started to shoot at the big purple man. Just when they were so close at getting the gauntlet off Quill had to go and punch Thanos causing him to get out of their clutch.

Their plan would have succeeded if Dr. Strange didn’t give Thanos his Time Stone to save Tony’s life. But he did and after the stone was put on his gauntlet Thanos disappeared through the portal.

After Thanos was gone Peter came running towards Tony to see if he was okay, “Oh my god. Tony, you’re bleeding.” He put his hand over the wound to stop the bleeding but Tony just removed his hands. “I’m okay, don’t worry about me. I care more about you.” The older man cupped his cheeks and looked for injuries, turning his head left to right. “I’m fine Tony.” Peter said. “I don’t want to fight anymore, you’re hurt. I could have lost you. I don’t want to lose you.” A tear rolled down his cheeks and Tony just wiped it away with his thumb. “You won’t lose me, I promise.” Tony hugged Peter the best he could without twisting the knife too much.

The next thing that happens is Mantis turning to dust. After her there was Drax, Quill and then before Dr. Strange turned into dust he said, “There was no other way.” But what Tony did not expect was Peter- his one true love slowly turning to dust. All he could do was grip him tight while Peter was trying desperately to not die. “I don’t wanna go. I don’t wanna go Tony. Please.. Please… I love you.” Peter said in his dying words and all Tony could do is say I love you back and then he was gone.

~~~~

He woke up in panic realizing that it had only been a dream, “I will bring you back my love.” He said as he sat up from his bed. He knew it was no idea to even try to go back to sleep so he checked the time- it was 5:43 am. After a shower and a fresh cup of coffee Tony started to drive to the Avengers compound and when he got there he was met by Steve.

Tony went to the trunk to open it up and he brought out a brand new shield for Steve. “This time don’t break it!” He handed the shield to Steve, “And I mean it. I don’t even know how it’s possible to break it.” He added.

“I won’t, promise. And thank you for making me a new one, it was about time.” Steve and Tony started to walk to the door and entered the code to come in.

~~~~

After a couple of hours of constructing the quantum tunnel, the team emerged with the advanced tech suits and the time-space GPS. “See you in a minute.” Natasha said while looking at Steve.

[pla-teau]

WHAT IF...? EPISODE THREE THOUGHTS

GIF CREDIT @lankybrunettepartdeux EPISODE 03: WHAT IF...EARTH LOST ITS MIGHTIEST HEROES? SPOILERS AHEAD! i didn't think phil coulson and i would have the same taste in men.

i’ve missed natasha and fury talking. i didn’t realize how much until the opening scenes of them in the car. love how natasha’s over with fury’s speech about the avengers, i think it hones in that it is a really corny speech. also really loved nat’s animation in this episode like ma’am, please marry me.

seeing tony in the donut again was also awesome. glad we got a little tony before killing him off five minutes later. didn’t think this episode would quickly go dark but it did. and i’m happy it did because i am all for marvel going dark and not having everything be a possible double meaning to something darker. i wanna see that gray areas and the gory stuff every once and a while.

for a second i really thought pierce was going to be the main bad guy due to fury suggesting someone tampered with the antidote. again, completely love nat’s fight sequence in the car. really wish brumlow said fuck cause i would too if i was in his shoes.

phil coulson my beloved. i love love love how we all have collectively agreed that he’s a got a thing for buff blonds with blue eyes. same phil same. thor is gorgeous with or without that long hair but they really made it shine this episode even if it was brief. i think you can actually see the crisis coulson was having upon realizing that the man is basically steve rogers but with long hair and he’s simping. again, phil my dear - same. i’m a simp for steve and thor.

nearly sobbed seeing thor being killed by clint because i’m never gonna be prepared for thor dying on us. i actually can’t fathom it since i love him so much. from promo clips, i figured this would be its own episode like “what if…clint killed thor?” but i’m kind of happy we got to see it in this episode as it makes you believe for a split second barton was the one killing the avengers off one by one.

betty ross? okay, didn’t think we’d ever ever see that woman again especially in the mcu. also, banner? i didn’t know what i thought bruce would look like in this show but it wasn’t like that. don’t get me wrong, i like the animation style of banner, i guess i pictures something closer to looking like mark. either way, was really hoping hulk would be the exception to the plot here since yeah, he really can’t die but boy were we proven dead wrong once more.

loki in this episode was basically if he had no character development and actually got his way with earth under the premise of avenging thor. which i think loki did want. i believe he was hurting that thor was killed but despite this being loki that was still hellbent on being king, he used it as a cover to then actually take over earth. not me thinking he’d change and actually be in the avengers. really thought we were going that route with him as it would’ve been cool to see loki finding purpose being in the avengers in thor’s place and doing a sort of 180 on his whole glorious purpose shtick.

hank pym being revealed as the man behind the killings of all the avengers did take me for a loop because i was wondering who would want to do this. i was going through a whole rolodex of people in the mcu as to who it could possibly be. the fact that hope was working for S.H.I.E.L.D. made me wonder if had she not died, she would be a part of the original avengers lineup like in the comics. also, saw a lot of people pointing to the fact that bucky is the one who killed hope in that mission. odessa, ukraine is the same place natasha said was shot by the winter soldier in captain america: the winter soldier. so this must also mean that nat probably came to work for fury later on in this timeline since she’s usually his go-to agent. anyways, back to hank being the villain. he’s also clearly wearing the yellow jacket armor as he did in the comics. hank has always had disdain for S.H.I.E.L.D. as he didn’t trust them with his pym particles which would be correct to assume since we also know HYDRA is already masking as S.H.I.E.L.D. during this time. i just wonder if HYDRA did influence hank in this timeline to push him to kill everyone.

coulson being the absolute fanboy he is for steve rogers with that password is a mood. like phil my beloved, we’ve all probably had a similar password dedicated to america’s ass one way or another. knowing that HYDRA is posing as S.H.I.E.L.D. by this time, i’m wondering how they still didn’t get to steve or if fury had found him on his own- hence why he’s alone when he wipes some ice from the shield. maybe this was something between fury and a few other trusted agents as maybe he did have an idea that HYDRA was already infiltrating the agency. either way, was pretty happy to see captain marvel appear too when he said “welcome back, captain.” as to say it to both captain america and captain marvel since they’re gonna be co-captains for this new team to take down loki.

overall, i liked this episode and really shocked that they went pretty dark for this third episode. i hope that they have more episodes like this in the season. i figure the dr. strange episode will have a similar tone but i hope there’s more episodes than just these two for darker themes and darker animation.

i know i slipped with the second episode but that was because i got too emotional watching it and was sobbing by the end of the episode. i did love episode two and i think in terms of the fun, adventurous tone, it’s the best episode so far (and i think it really should’ve been the premiere episode instead). looking back on the first episode, it really wasn’t anything spectacular in terms of a new storyline or anything rather creative. it’s just replacing steve with peggy in the first avenger movie. as for the second and third episode, there was a lot changed in storylines and consequences of those changes. ie: thanos being talked out of mass genocide by t’challa and so he joins the ravangers and doesn’t torture nebula to the point of making her fully cybernetic. the most we got from the first episode was that peggy came through the tesseract portal not loki so there’s implications of that but we’re not shown much else. while with this episode and t’challa’s star lord episode, there’s a hell of a lot more changes to the storyline that we’re shown rather than left to guess and it was refreshing to see that.

[freakingtheworld]

Watched Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness and I’m disappointed, even though I could avoid all spoilers and was not expecting much after the let down of the “multiverse” in Spider-man NWH, I was so disappointed with this movie and it makes sad. I will try to be brief  but I can’t (also spoilers):

All of WandaVision was ignored in order to push evil Wanda. She went through pain and grief, she accepted her loss and also that what she did was wrong but then she goes crazy in Dr. Strage MoM? At the end of WandaVision she was learning  magic to “save” her kids, we could hear them pleading for help. Did she just ignore those kids and decided to get some other kids from a random universe just because America was there? Conveniently the universe they landed in had no Pietro nor Vision. She didn’t look for Vison and of course the writers decided to ignore him because Vision would have stopped Wanda’s rampage. She could have also tried to look for  kids in a universe where they lost their parents, but no, she decided to f*ck up another Wanda’s life. The Illuminati: their appearance didn’t cause a surprise,IMO since the trailers showed some stuff. I mean Xavier was show in the trailers, and that could have been the best surprise (X-Men notwithstanding) but the way they killed them was so lame. Those kills were done for shock value and it was so sh*tty. You are telling me that in most fights they get thrown around, they break walls with their bodies, Loki was smashed by Hulk a few times, Thor hits people with his hammer. Even in this movie Wong received a lot of hits, he was thrown and hit his neck on some stairs in the temple, and then fell to his apparent demise a lot of meters down the Darkhold temple yet he survives, but Captain Marvel (which seems to have the same powers as the main universe Captain Marvel) gets killed by a statue falling on her? Really? Captain Carter gets cut by the shield, when everyone has been throwing that thing around and it just pushes or knocks people around. The way Black Bolt dies: 1- how could Reed be so stupid to tell Wanda 2-Everytime BlackBolt used his powers the vibrations of his vocal chords didn't harm him but he exploded because he had his mouth removed? What? Wouldn’t that have caused a hole in the pace where his mouth was? And Xavier, he went inside Wanda’s mind but couldn’t get out? The dialogue was horrible in many places. So cheesy or forced. Even some special effects looked horrible, when “Evil” Dr. Strange is seen walking away form the window in his mansion, the movie somehow dropped frames. (This was also a problem in Spider-man, special effect heavy scenes had frame drops). And finally, basically everyone told Wanda that she was wrong and basically a assassin/monster, but she only understands when she sees her AU kids crying. Wanda, it’s what everyone was trying to tell you!!! I really wanted to love this movie, still was not expecting much before watching it, honestly stopped expecting from the MCU after GoTG2 (I found that movie so boring) and After No Way Home I knew Marvel was fixated on the multiverse and the “most ambitious crossover” stuff but didn’t try anything unexpected actually. I mean, in NWH when the spell failed and the multiverse was opened, of all universes that could have been linked to the main one, we only got two, and conveniently those two were the ones with the Peter Parkers we already knew? One last think, i think Wanda’s hair when in her Scarlet Witch costume was cooler in WandaVision than in this movie. Also the crown/costume looked more detailed in WandaVision. :( I hope we get to see a better Wanda and of course Agatha, once again.

[marvelsbetch]

Peter Parker’s field trip part 3

-Peter's POV-

After lunch Owen grouped us all

back together, including Wade, and took us around more labs. There was nothing particularly special about any of them until the corridor we were walking down became all too familiar. We stopped infront of a door to a lab, the door to my lab. Oh God.

"Now, for those of you who don't know and haven't guessed it yet, your class mate Peter works here. This is his lab and I was wondering if he would allow us to see what's inside. Peter?" Owen announced looking directly at me.

"Fine but you have to swear not to touch anything and not discuss anything you see with others." I warned them as I swiped my card and held the door open to all of them.

They all filled in and started looking around cautiously and with amazement. Many people noticed the prototype suits on mannequins at the back of the room. I was helping Dad, Pops, Bucky and Wanda with new designs for suits as well as trying to improve mine. It's been a challenge but we're making steady progress.

"Peter, Mr Stark has told me to ask you to open your connecting doors." F.R.I.D.A.Ys voice rang out across the room.

"Oh dear lord." I sighed and moved to open one of the other doors in the room that connected mine and Dads lab.

There was also a door connecting to a storage closet filled with various building parts. The other doors lead to a bathroom, Pops' art room, The training room and a testing room. There was lots of doors but thankfully I labelled them all.

"What do y-" I started but cut myself off when I opened the door and saw the guardians stood in Dad's lab. Frick!

"Mini Peter!" Drax yelled pulling me into a very tight hug. What's with the bone crushing hugs today?

"What're you all doing here?" I asked pushing Drax away from me.

"Can't we visit our favourite earthling without a reason?" Peter asked putting his arm around me.

"You sound like Thor." I told him shrugging his arm off.

"Don't insult me like that." Peter told me jokingly serious.

"How come I don't get any love?" Wade asked appearing behind me.

"Hey! What am I here for?" I asked him trying to sound offended.

"Beside you." He said putting an arm around my waist and resting his head on mine.

"Hands off Wade." Dad warned with a scowl on his face glaring at my boyfriend.

"Alright Stark, alright." Wade said sarcastically and put his hands up before slowly backing away.

"Don't push me, I'm already letting you stay in my tower, and sleep in his room for that matter." Dad gestures to me with an angry look on his face.

"Moving on, why're there a bunch of gawping teenagers stood behind you?" Peter asked gesturing to my class.

"Well, this is my science class from school. They're gasping because no one believed me when I said I had an internship here but I've proven to have more than that." I explained taking Wade's hand in mine much to Dad's disappointment.

"Anyway, what're you doing next? When're these losers leaving?" Peter asked putting his arm around my shoulders.

"We're visiting the training rooms with Steve, Nat, Clint, Bucky, T,Challa, Wanda, Vision, Strange and Loki." Dad explained making me groan and put my head on Wade's shoulder in annoyance.

"And then they're staying the night and visiting Avengers Tower tomorrow." I told him from Wade's shoulder.

"Avengers Tower?" Drax asked confused.

"It's kind of like our mother ship. It's where we're briefed and de-briefed about our missions and meet up for various things. We used to use this tower but it's less used now." Dad explained.

"They still use it sometimes though. Say, for example, to embarrass me." I said sarcastically lifting my head up.

"Aww, come on Pete, don't you love seeing us all day?" Dad teased grabbing my cheek.

"Not when your soul purpose is to embarrass me infront of my class. Other times, I couldn't thing is anything better." I told him making him smirk.

"Come on then, let's go see everyone train." Dad said clapping his hands together and leading the group through one of my doors and directly into the training room.

"Ah, Midtown I presume. Welcome to the Avengers training room." Pops introduced gesturing to the room around us.

There was treadmills, weight lifts, cross trainers, workout bikes and much more. Over in an empty corner Strange, Wanda and Uncle Loki were practicing their magic where as every one else was doing normal physical training.

"So, who wants to fight an Avenger?" Aunt Nat asked looking across all the students in front of her. "You, with the stupid grin. Come up here." Nat instructed pointing to Flash. Oh dear lord.

Flash confidently made his way up to Nat and just stood there doing nothing. Nat showed him a proper fighting stance and told him to attack. The next few seconds was Nat pinning Flash to the mat before he could react.

"I wasn't ready." Flash breathed out from the floor.

"No one is. That's why she's good at what she does." Pops told him smirking at me. "Why don't you have a go?" He asked me.

"No I'm good. Do you want to?" I asked gesturing to the mat and Nat.

"Oh come on kid. Live a little." Pops coaxed with a smug grin on his face.

"Fine." I sighed detaching myself from Wade and standing in front of Nat. I got into a fighting stance and we started fighting.

After 10 minutes of back and forth between me and Nat I eventually pinned her to the mat to the astonishment to my class.

“Well Peter, good to know nothing's changed." Pops grinned passing me my water bottle and a granola bar.

"Thanks Pops." I said with out thinking.

“Right, now we're gonna teach you basic self defence. We'll split you into groups and go from there." Pops explained turning to my class when an alarm went off.

"Code Green! Natasha and Peter to Dr Banners lab please." F.R.I.D.A.Ys automated voice rang out.

Me and Natasha took off running as fast as we could to Bruce's lab and stopped in front of the door for a brief moment. We could hear crying? Slowly, we opened the door and found Hulk sat on the floor crying.

"Hulk?" I cautiously asked stepping forward.

"Spider Boy!" Hulk yelled pulling me into a tight hug. "Hulk miss his spider boy!" He cried.

"Okay big guy. Why were you crying?" Natasha asked placing her hand on his arm.

"Lonely. Bad Human kept me trapped." Hulk explained as more tears fell.

"Okay buddy, put me down and we can hang out with you for a bit. How does that sound?" I offered.

"Thank you spider boy." Hulk said giving me one last squeeze, breaking my last rib and placing me on the floor.

"So, what do you want to do?" Nat asked sitting on the floor next to Hulk.

"Play outside!" Hulk whined. When did he become so child like?

"Okay, wanna play tag?" I offered thinking back to childhood games.

"Tag?" Hulk asked.

"It's where we run around and touch people gently. The person you touch is then 'tagged' and you must run away from them. You understand?" I explained.

Hulk slowly nodded so Nat took him outside while I called Dad to explain what happened.

"Hey kid, you okay?" Dad asked with my entire class looking at him.

"Yeah he was just lonely and in a mood with Banner. Me and Nat are gonna play some tag with him if that's okay. We'll either be on the roof or balcony." I explained to him.

"Okay stay safe." Dad told me before waving.

"I will. See you later." I said waving back and hanging up the phone.

-2 hours later-

After playing tag with Hulk for way too long we managed to get Banner back. The only think was, we promised Hulk to speak to him later. While my class will still be here. Hopefully he doesn't get scared or feel threatened and we can have a nice and calm conversation with him. We walked back to the training room but no one was there so I called Dad to see where he was.

"Hey, where've you all gone?" I asked.

"We're in the penthouse. How was playing tag with Hulk?" He asked.

"It was fun. We promised we would speak to him later so we need to talk to the class and explain otherwise he may feel threatened or angry." I explained to him getting into the elevator to take us to the penthouse.

"Okay, I'll gather everyone and you three can explain to them." He said.

"Right I'll see you in a minute." I told him before hanging up.

We got to the penthouse and found my whole class plus teacher stood in the living room like they were waiting for something. I walked in with Nat and Banner on either side of me and they all looked visibly shocked.

"Okay, quick announcement if you're all going to be staying the night. What happened before was a 'code green' that means the Hulk. Now, not every time he's here he's angry, so for instance today, sometimes he's just lonely. We managed to get Banner back but promised we would speak to him later so if anyone hears a code green do not freak out. Don't go up to him or anything but don't freak out. That's what'll make him intimidated and angry and that's when people get hurt. Do I make myself clear?" Nat asked giving each individual a piercing glare.

"Yes Miss Romanov." They all said simultaneously.

"Now, you have one hour before food to explore the penthouse. Any door with a red square is a prohibited area, it's mainly bedrooms though. Have fun and don't break anything." Dad warned.

As soon as he finished everyone scattered and tried to find something interesting to look at. Me, Wade, Ned, MJ, Dad, Pops, Nat and Banner all just sat on the sofa and started a movie. As time went on the rest of the Avengers along with Thor, Loki, Shuri and T'challa came in and started to watch the movie with us. We briefly heard and saw my class mates walking around and looking at things in the hallways. They were all very interested in the littlest things.

An hour soon went by and we called everyone back in to talk about food and what we should order. We ended up with Pizza cause who doesn't like that? We ordered 35 because there was a lot of us and I needed like 4 to myself, it was 15 margaritas, 5 Hawaiian, 5 BBQ chicken, 5 vegetarian and 5 meat lover. All large and all delicious. True beauty. We all sat in the living room and no where else would fit us all and ate in pretty must silence.

"So Peter, how come you know the Avengers?" Christie asked.

"The internship. I work closely with Mr Stark and just met everyone from there. It stared with working in projects all night to having sleepovers and it all progressed from there." I explained. It felt weird to call Dad Mr Stark again after all this time of calling him Dad.

"Patricia, how did you get the internship. Stark Industries don't usually hire teenagers." Mrs Robbins asked trying to be polite but made one big mistake. Patricia.

"Well I found Videos of Peter's work on YouTube. I'd also bumped into him at Oscorp at one of your other field trips." Dad explained with emphasis on 'Peter'. Mrs Robbins seemed uncomfortable with Dad's use of my name.

"Well what type of thing do you work on?" Al asked.

"All sorts. Started with building small robots to help with small mundane tasks then working on bigger robots with Mr Stark and then working on suits and weapons for everyone. Now I'm designing them as you all saw before. Btw Wanda, I need you to come to my lab at some point this week to check hour suit out." I informed.

"Okay, maybe after food we could go." She offered taking another bite of a BBQ chicken pizza.

"I can do that." I agreed and finished my slice of margarita.

"Well, why you?" Flash asked clearly annoyed. Shoot.

"What do you mean why him?" Pops asked getting angry.

"Well, with all due respect, why did you hire him? He's nothing special, just a charity case at the end of the day." Flash huffed and Pops' face went red with anger.

"Charity case? What do you mean by that?" Wade asked trying to moving me from his lap but I didn't budge. I knew he'd kill Flash.

"Like with his Aunt, they didn't have money and skips out on school with stupid excuses. You're probably only talking to him cause you feel bad, no need to lie to us." Flash explained and Banner's face turned green.

Everything else happened so fast. First Wade practically threw me off of his lap onto the floor where Ned caught me. Then Banner stormed out of the room yelling and turning green. After that, Dad got up from his seat and lunged forward but Pops caught him and was holding him back in a hug type situation. Nat pulled a knife out. Bucky smashed a pizza. The sofas were floating. There was thunder outside. Loki was evilly smirking. Shuri was holding T,Challa back. Sam was seething in the corner. Clint reached for his bow and arrow. Wade pulled a katana out of god knows where. It was all happening.

"Everybody outside now!" I yelled at the adults and dragged my Dads and Wade out the room behind me.

They all came out and I was immediately attached with question after question after question. Nat was asking if I wanted her to kill them. Dad, Pops and Wade were agreeing with her. Thor was threatening to bring the whole of the Asgardian army. Banner was still no where to be seen. Things really went down hill fast.

"Come on Baby. He made you feel like shit, let me teach him a lesson." Wade tried to persuade pulling me close and putting his hands on my waist.

"No Wade. You're not killing him. You've been doing so well, you've gone a whole 2 months without killing anyone. Don't throw that all away for him. Come on baby, calm down and help me with everyone else." I pleaded looking into his eyes and placing my hands on either side of his face.

"Fine but if he says one more thing not even Hulk could hold me back." He sighed bringing me in for a brief kiss.

"NOT IN FRONT OF US!" Dad yelled all anger seemingly averted to Wade.

"Geeze old man, calm down it was just a kiss. Not as if I fucked him right in front of you is it?" Wade told him sarcastically.

"Stop before your killed." I warned him.

"Mmmm. You're no fun." Wade told me.

"This is all beside the point. Banner's Hulked our and Hulk is not happy about Flash. He's coming straight towards everyone." Nat warned looking at something F.R.I.D.A.Y shown her.

"Oh god." I said as everyone rushed back into the living room to find my class huddled in a corner with Hulk slowly advancing.

Me and Nat ran out infront of them and our hands up to indicate for him to stop. Hulk looked between me and the group with confusion.

"They're mean to spider boy. Why be nice?" Hulk asked.

"Because it's what we do. We're nice to people despite them being mean to us because otherwise we'd be as bad as them. We don't want to be as bad as them. We want to be better. Do you understand?" I explained to Hulk slowly.

"Yes I understand spider boy." Hulk slightly sulked and walked over to a different side of the room where he turned back into Banner.

"How can you do that?" Someone asked hesitantly.

"Do what?" I questioned confused.

"Calm him down. I thought only black widow could do that." They explained baffled.

"Well you thought wrong." I simply told them with a shrug as I walked back over to the couch and sat on Wades lap much to my Dad's disappointment.

"Okay then, what movie should we watch?" Pops asked trying to change the topic and succeeding.

"Okay this is how we're doing it. If you want horror move to the right side of the room. If you want comedy stand to the left." Dad spoke. The majority, including myself and Wade, moved to the right.

"Okay, Annabelle Creation to the right, It to the left." The majority stayed at the right.

"It's settled." Pops announces turning the tv on and playing the movie.

Everyone found somewhere to sit, Dad on Pop obviously, then everyone else who lived at the tower, Ned and MJ squeezed onto the couches. The rest of my class sat on the floor that was covered in blankets, pillows and other types of bedding. It looked quite comfy but nothing was as comfy as Wade.

"So, Parker, how come you're buddy buddy with all of the Avengers?" Flash asked once the movie begun.

"I told you, I'm Mr Starks personal intern and so I met everyone." I lied.

"It's so weird to hear you call me Mr Stark again." Dad pointed out making us all laugh but confused my class.

"Don't start calling me Steve again, too weird." Pops requested earning a few more laughs.

"Alright Cap'ain." I said making us again, laugh a little.

"So, Peter, how did you get your internship?" Al asked.

"Well, it's a long story." I told him trying to think of one on the spot.

"I secretly sent out a message to collages and High schools near by and asked for their most brightest and promising students. I got almost two hundred responses but one from Midtown high stuck out. A boy who couldn't do PE to save his life but could do a university level science equation in his sleep. Sounded like me when I was younger so I spoke with him and after a few trials including him and some other candidates I went with Peter. One of the best decisions I ever made." Dad informed them, lying slightly, making me blush and look down.

"How did that lead to all of this?" Al further questioned gesturing to me and the rest of the Avengers.

"Well, with being his personal intern I followed him everywhere and into meeting for both Stark Industries and the Avengers. He also let me stay here when my aunt had to work late, this then turned into me spending the weekend here most times and some school night. With me spending so much time here I met them all, I was a little awkward at first but got used to them and then the jokes started which turned to minor pranks which turned into Parnell wars which turned into me finding a family in the most unsuspected way." I spoke fondly smiling at the memories of first meeting them and the first prank pulled, Clint decided it would be funny to put shaving cream in all of my pockets and shoes.

"Wow, must be amazing, knowing you can come here at whatever time you want and have the Avengers back you. You're a lucky kid Parker, I'll give you that." Al said.

"I know I am." I spoke, mostly to myself as I took Wade's hand in mine.

"How did your relationship start?" Hayley, a girl from my class, asked.

"That is an interesting story that I'm sure Wade would love to tell." I said smirking slightly.

"Well, I have a tendency to brake in the tower and one time I ran into the living room escaping Stark and found Peter sat on this couch watching Star Wars surrounded my blankets, pillows and junk food. I walked over, sat next to him and had a lovely conversation with him about Star Wars and Star Trek, it was very engaging. Then Stark ruined it by kicking me out and giving me a lecture on communicating with his intern. I clearly didn't listen and came here more often to speak to him, on one of my trips my crush grew too strong and plucked up the courage to ask him out. He said yes much to Starks distaste. We went on a date, shared a kiss and decided to make it official, this was 8 months, 4 days, 32 minutes and 54 seconds ago." Wade told them smiling widely as he pulled me into a deep and loving kiss only to separated by my Dad flicking Wade's ear.

"Wow, that's so sweet." Hayley fan-girled.

Soon enough, nine thirty rolled around and we were all sent to bed, my class was showed to their shared rooms while me and Wade snuck off to my room where he followed through on his earlier promise.

To be continued...

[awkward-gay-bro]

M-Day

Wanda couldn’t take it anymore. Her father and Charles Xavier were yelling over each other. Each man telling the other what she needed to do. Neither man talking to her. She was just a tool for their causes. These men were always telling her what to do. She couldn’t take it anymore. It was time for her to take the power back from these men in her life. And with a simple utterance under her breath, she did. 

“No more masculinity.”

In an instant the men behind her were gone. What stood in their place could hardly be called men. The years had faded from their faces, and the muscles had faded from their body. Their fighting ended as they locked eyes, seeing what the other had become. Wanda opened a portal in a blaze of scarlet red energy, and left her father and his friend, rival, and soon to be lover behind. 

It had been a year since Wanda Maximoff had changed the world. Some people had adapted to their new lives quickly, while others were still struggling to accept the new reality she had created. Bobby Drake was one of the few men that had been left unaffected by her power. He’d heard on the news they were being called the 198, apparently less than 200 men had been left unchanged.

As Iceman worked out in the danger room, his mind began to wonder through all of the people he once knew and what they had become. 

Rogue had told him what she found when she’d gone on the hunt to find Remy LeBeau. Gambit had disappeared the day it all happened, didn’t even give Rogue a chance to say goodbye. Just left a note saying he couldn’t bear to face her this way. She feared he’d return to his family in New Orleans, that he would return to a life of crime. So she made a trip to the Bayou, to confront him for leaving her, to let her know she didn’t care what he looked like. But when she arrived she found that the Thieves Guild had been disbanded. The Assassins Guild, too. It seems with all their men diminished, the warring had finally ended. Rogue was distraught that she couldn’t find her Cajun. 

She’d almost given up her search when she found herself at a bar. She’d grown weary from worrying and a drink was the perfect thing to cut the edge. Rogue chose the bar cause it looked  like it was mutant friendly, but she hadn’t realized how friendly. It seemed this particular bar had employed mutant bois for a very particular role. She’d watched a dozen or so of them walking around in skimpy outfits, offering to dance on the women who were patroning the bar. A swarm of the bois had surrounded the one member of the 198 there, sat in a booth getting his drinks and dances for free. But seeing a real man wasn’t the most surprising thing for Anna Marie. A skinny boy in a trench coat had walked out from the back, and the bois surrounding the man parted like the red seas. The skinny twink stripped off his trench coat and threw it to the ground, revealing a gravity defying pair of globes that looked comically large on his tiny frame. He dropped his hands to the ground and shot his ass to the air as he began gyrating his cheeks in the air. As his mounds danced hypnotically they began to build up kinetic energy, and slowly his leather pants began to glow brighter and brighter with a neon pink aura. The man reached out to touch, but before he could the leather pants exploded off of the twink’s frame, leaving his gyrating hips in nothing but a magenta pink thong. The man grabbed hold of the twink’s globes and slipped a hundred into the pouch off his thong. The twink took the man by the hand and led him into a backroom. Rogue didn’t see him again until the bar was closing, when finally he and the other man came back out to the bar. She kept out of sight until the bar was closing, the kinetic twink the only one there to close out the till. Then she came out of hiding, walked over and placed a gloved hand on  the twink’s shoulder and said, “Chère?”

Bobby had found out later that Rogue had decided to stay there with him. She was going to prove that what had become of him wouldn’t stop them from loving each other. He’d heard rumors that the both of them had moved in with the man from the bar. Gambit wanted the emotional love he could get from Rogue, but he needed the physical support he was getting from that man. 

Looking around the danger room Bobby was reminded of the first time he’d entered the Danger Room after the change. Bobby, Emma Frost, and Jean Grey were making their way down to the danger room with a handful of the remaining active duty X-Men. Emma and Jean had put aside their differences for the good of the team, with so many of the power players out of commission and Storm in Wakanda taking care of T’Challa, they’d become the defuncto leaders. It took them a long time to compile a team. With most of the X-men not really being men anymore, the team was predominantly made up of women. 

Bobby was one of the few men left unaffected from their former roster, which is why Emma had extended a hand to the all too giddy Wade Wilson. Deadpool had been so excited when the change happened, with him left unchanged his sexual options had expanded vastly. Most women were now without partners and excited at the prospect of any man, and even the burliest of men had now become cherubic and willing. Bobby was taken aback when they first brought Deadpool onto the team, but he quickly proved himself as a reliable asset, saving the day countless times. Of course, he’d also used the Institute as his own personal buffet. Bobby had walked in on him once with the barely legal Hellion and Elixir. The two former rivals had been pit against one another time and time again, but nowadays they spent most of their time trying to complete a common goal. Much to Wade’s delight. The merc with a mouth had justified it to Bobby by saying that Elixir’s biokinesis meant he could ignite every pleasure center at once while Hellion’s telekinesis meant they could do positions he’d never imagined. This wasn’t the last time Bobby had walked in on Wade’s excursions.  

Before any of that happened though, and before the team ever went on any missions, Jean had wanted them to practice. She knew that most of the team had worked together at some time or another, but they needed to make sure they knew each other’s powers and fighting styles inside and out before they ever stepped into a mission. So she programmed a rigorous series of sessions in the Danger Room so that they could be ready for anything they encountered. But nothing could have readied Jean for what she was about to encounter. 

Emma and Jean weren’t the only one’s who’d ended their feud after the change had happened, and they both had to come face to face with that fact at that very moment. When Jean had opened the door to the danger room, she found her former suitors writhing around on the Danger Room floor. She’d commanded that they stop fighting, when Emma placed a hand on her shoulder and gave a knowing look. They’d both dedicated years of their lives to Scott Summers, but it looked like he was finally done with telepaths trying to probe around in his head. Instead, he was living it up as Logan’s tiny cocklet probed around in...other places. 

Emma and Jean both fled from the scene, Wade running after the both of them. He’d told Bobby that they took out their anger on his body that day. But after that, they had both used his body for other reasons. 

The X-men weren’t the only team that had been shaken up by Wanda Maximoff did that day. Being one of the few unaffected superheroes of his power, Iceman had forged a strong new relationship with Nick Fury. Nick was in transit when the world changed, so he didn’t find out what had happened until he entered the Avenger’s Tower. 

And Fury had told Bobby in confidence what he saw when walked in. Half a dozen of the male Avengers were huddled together, their uniforms strewn on the floor. Fury had looked on in horror as Earth’s mightiest heroes had been reduced to an orgy of young twinks. At the center of the storm of bodies was Steve Rogers, once the epitome of masculinity now even smaller than he was before he took the serum. Tony Stark, the billion dollar playboy had been laying on the floor, going and back and forth between pleasuring the hulk and planting his face in America’s ass.

Fury later found out that Bruce Banner had been hulked out when the change occurred. When wasn’t the Hulk, Bruce turned back into his normal human form. But many debated whether he was a part of the 198. As whenever he got horny, he reverted to his twinky green form. And now that his fellow Avengers were always there to offer him a helping hand, he didn’t stay Bruce for long. 

Thor and Dr. Strange had been there to advise the team on a new mythical threat, but once the change occurred their attentions had drifted to each other. Strange had enchanted his tongue so that the Norse God could feel it inside him, while Thor had found a new use for his faithful mjolnr, determining which ass was worthy. He’d shoved the handle into Dr. Strange, and from the moans escaping the sorcerer supreme, he was definitely worthy. 

Scott Lang had tried to use his pym particles to bring him back to his normal size. He’d thought it had worked at first as he’d grown back up to his normal six foot, but the particles had an unexpected effect as his formerly tight pair of buns expanded outwards into a pair of massive pillows. He’d reached for his pym particles again, but Fury explained to Bobby that it was no use. By that time Strange had cast his enchantment again, and when Lang felt the mystical tongue between his cheeks he’d fully embraced his new body. After that Scott had used his pym particles instead to shrink himself down to doll size, and he was quickly passed from hero to hero. None of the men there had a large enough member to alleviate the other’s desires, so it had come down to Scott to fill that role. 

Fury had also told Bobby Drake about Shield’s attempts to reverse the change. The super soldier serum had turned Steve Rogers into Captain America once before, they were certain that if they adjusted their equations they could do it again. Fury waited in anticipation when Steve underwent the procedure, but what emerged was not the masculine wonder they were hoping for. Captain America had been changed, but not in the ways they’d hoped. If anything, he was even more feminine and shapely. His body had shrunken down even more, standing five foot nothing. His lips had grown plump and rosy, something even Fury couldn’t keep himself from imagining wrapped around his member. But the biggest change came from Roger’s lower half, the only thing to grow. His massive cheeks seemed to move independently of his body, as the slightest shift of his weight caused them to jiggle indefinitely. 

Fury had insisted that they keep their testing, but the moment it was revealed Cap’s old sidekick Bucky was a member of the 198 that all went out the window. Bucky had come to find Stevie, his feelings finally able to be revealed. The two had run off together and been on the move ever since. Bucky had always looked up to Steve, but now that Stevie was the one looking up Bucky wasn’t willing to let that change. Now he got to be the protector for Stevie, and he couldn’t think of anyway better to service his country than to let America’s hero service him. 

Not every team had been decommissioned because of the change, though, Bobby recalled. His close friend Johnny Storm had been texting him like crazy ever since the change took place. “Flame on!” had taken a very different meaning for the now nubile twink. Bobby had taken him up on his offers once or twice, something sexy about how steamy things got when Iceman’s frozen rod entered Johnny’s flaming form. 

But he’d shared some pillow talk about how The Fantastic Four were doing. They’d been on the space station when Wanda uttered those three words, making it the second time their bodies had been changed while in space. The suits they were wearing were made specifically to contort to their environment, so they were spared some of the humility of their tiny members being on display. Johnny had been very thankful that he hadn’t had to face his own sister naked in his new form. 

The last time they’d changed, Ben Grimm had gotten the short end of the stick, but this time it was Mr. Fantastic himself that had been struggling to accept reality. He’d spent the first few weeks focusing his energy on stretching his body out to resemble his original masculine form. He’d even tried to stretch the hairs on his face to make it look like he had a five o’clock shadow. But Sue eventually sat him down and said his focus on trying to be something he wasn’t anymore meant he was never completely focused on the mission. Sue had taken on much more of a leader role in the team and had said that their relationship would have to come second, and that it was an order. 

Ben and Johnny on the other hand adapted very quickly to the changes. Ben was ecstatic he wouldn’t have to buy customer made clothes or furniture anymore. And now that the bois who were once men were so much more touchy feely, his attempts for romance were a lot easier. Johnny had always been a bit of a womanizer, and he’d quickly adapted those skills into being the sluttiest hero around. He’d gotten with almost every member of the 198, even those reluctant to admit that bois were just as good as women. 

Johnny had even mentioned the time he dragged Reed out with him on the prowl. After getting a few drinks into Mr. Fantastic he’d convinced him to put his stretching powers to good use. Dressed in already too small booty shorts, Reed pushed the fabric to its limit by stretching his cheeks out a foot off his frame. Johnny had chosen the bar specifically because he knew his buddy Peter, one of the 198, liked to hang out there. They’d seen him on the dance floor, and once Reed pressed his gravity defying globes into Peter’s crotch, he almost shot his web right then and there. 

The Fantastic Four weren’t the only heroes still in action, either. Bobby had heard stories that Hawkeye and his ex-wife had teamed up to train a new archer to take his place. But Clint had always believed the best placed to train was in the field, so Hawkeye and Mockingbird had taken the new hero out on the prowl. Clint had tried to continue on with his previous uniform, but the baggy clothes were distracting. So Mockingbird put together a new outfit for him. Now he’d added a new weapon to his arsenal, and he’d become a true homme fatale. Once the training was over, Hawkeye decided to continue his fighting crime, using his feminine wiles and the support of his protégé and ex-wife when he needed the back-up. 

Being invulnerable meant Wonder Boi was still able to fight just as hard as when he was Wonder Man. But after his sister had run into him on a mission, she’d decided she’d have to take a leave of absence from the X-Men to help him stay on track. Psylocke had discovered her brother writhing around on the floor of an abandoned warehouse with the Absorbing Boi, and it was fair to say that Wonder Boi was doing just as much of the absorbing. Betsy had to pull the two apart and psionically remove Wonder Boi’s passion before she could get him to arrest the criminal. She’d explained the whole thing to Bobby the last time she was at the X-Mansion, it was he that had a coined the new names for the hero and villain. 

Bobby remember when he’d run into another hero on a mission of his own. Walking through an alley in search for the Callisto, he’d run into none other than Iron Fist. Seeing Bobby Drake in his still masculine glory had pushed Danny Rand to the edge. Iceman, on the other hand, was focused on his mission. That is until Cessily Kincaid rang in that she’d apprehended Callisto. Bobby had to admit that he’d found Rand stunning back when they could look eye to eye, but in his shrunken state he’d become completely beautiful. Before Bobby even had time to react, Ironfist had focused his chi in order to tear Iceman’s frozen suit right off his frame. Bobby picked up the tiny twink as Danny wrapped his arms around the larger man’s torso. Bobby absorbed moisture from their air focusing it on his arm which grew even more massive, getting ready to show Danny what his own iron fist could do. 

Bobby shook the thoughts from his head, the memories getting the icy hero hot and bothered. He knew still had a work-out to do, and some fun already lined up for that night. He instead let his mind to drift and began to wonder how far Wanda’s hex had reached. 

He knew that the denizens of Atlantis hadn’t escaped her reach. He’d seen Namor when they were recruiting mutants for the new roster of X-men. The king of the sea had been reduced to a lithe little twink, and Bobby had remembered wondering how he could possibly stay submerged with the massive flotation devices his ass cheeks had become. 

Bobby also knew that those in space hadn’t escaped Wanda’s reach. He’d seen what had happened to Starlord. Rocket Raccoon had been affected, not that anyone could tell. But he’d been sending intergalactic communication about the adorable new Petey Quill. Starlord had opened up an intergalactic brothel, hoping that in space there were more than just 198 men that could fulfil his needs. Bobby’s old flame Kitty, from when he was in the closet, had dated Quill for a while. Bobby reminded himself that if he ever found himself in Knowwhere he should make a stop at Quil’s. 

Not even Wanda’s own family had been protected from her hex. Well, her son Wiccan had, but most people believed that was due to his similar powers. As his twin brother had not been spared. Billy and Tommy were hardly identical twins now, Speed looked much more like a little brother. Wiccan’s partner had not been spared either, Hulkling becoming a comical name for the green twink now. The only thing that had remained hulking on Hulkling was his ginormous ass. The three of them had moved in together. At first Wiccan had been trying to find a way to reverse the hex. But as time went on he began liking being the man of the house.

Bobby gathered his thoughts as he finished his workout. A text came through on his phone and his hurt fluttered, hoping that it was from the person he was going to meet. But it was just a message from his friend, Peter. Something about Nick Fury needing them both for a mission this weekend. While reading, he thought about what Peter had told him happened to him when the change took place. Peter Parker was in search of the villain, Mysterio, fighting his way through illusions and nightmares when suddenly they all vanished. In the change, Mysterio’s suit had fallen to the ground, his plexiglass helmet had rolled to the ground. No suit meant no illusions, and without his illusions to hide him, Spider-Man was able to see Quentin Beck in nothing but his skivvies. Parker had described how the situation played out in detail. Beck had fallen to his knees, and Spider-man assumed he was going to beg to not be taken in. But instead of begging, he grabbed for Peter’s spidey suit, and planted his face directly up against the old web shooter. Peter didn’t let his urges stop him, and immediately bound the criminal up with his webs. It didn’t stop the writhing twink though, it would seem that Quentin Beck had a thing for bondage. 

Iceman realized he was letting his thoughts get to him again, quickly shaking the fantasies out of his mind. He’d spent his whole shower reimagining the story Spidey had told him, giving it a much happier end for Mysterio. But now Bobby was on his to something he’d been waiting a lifetime for. He’d gotten an email a few days prior asking to meet with him, and since the change happened, bois only reached out to Robert Drake for one reason. 

He turned his car into a long winding driveway, having to stop at a gate just to gain access to the giant manor in front of him. 

“I’m sorry, the Worthington Estate is not accepting guests at this moment,” a soft voice rang through the intercom. 

 “Hello Warren, it’s Bobby.” The gates opened and gave way for Iceman to enter the estate. As he walked up the steps the front door opened. Standing in front of him was one of his oldest friends, Warren Worthington lll. 

“Hello Warren, you’re looking good.” Bobby had been hiding feelings for the spoiled rich boy since they were both teenagers on the first ever team Xavier put together. Back then he was so put together, his golden hair always coiffed perfectly. His chiseled abs and pecs always on clear display, a necessity to fly he’d argued, before their uniforms were built. Of course, once the uniforms were fitted it didn’t seem to change. But Angel was always smitten with the girls on the team, and Bobby was never willing to let anyone see his gay side. But now the tables were turned. 

The name Angel had never been more fitting. The short young man in front if him was completely beautiful. The cherubic face with glimmering blue eyes and rosy pink lips in tandem with the smooth hairless body and narrow shoulders made Warren the perfect image of a twink. His angelic wings were spread aside, as he was no longer able to comfortably rest them on his back with his massive rear end pushing them out. 

“Hi Bobby, I’ve been meaning to reach out. I need to ask you for a favor.”

“I know what you want to ask, and you don’t know how long I have waited for it.”

Bobby took no time running over and grabbing the smaller man by the waist and leaning in for a kiss. The feeling of his soft lips melted the icy hero’s heart as a heat took over his entire body. He grabbed a handful of Warren’s massive cheek as Warren began grinding his shrunken cock into Bobby’s leg. Iceman slipped his fingers in the back of Angel’s daisy dukes and slowly pushed one ice cold finger into the cherubic man’s hole. Moans of pleasure escaped Warren’s mouth as his wings started flapping with a mind of their own. The two men took flight as they continued their thrusts of pleasure. Repositioning themselves in the air, their clothes slowly fell piece by piece to the floor. Once fully stripped Bobby was able to fully enter those angelic cheeks. 

[tygerbug]

THOR: LOVE AND THUNDER - A pleasant enough mid-level Marvel movie which is just good enough to serve as a trailer for the better movie it could have and should have been. Even so, it's worth the time.

2011's Thor, as directed by Kenneth Branagh, was a weaker early effort for Marvel, although it introduced Tom Hiddleston as the fan-favorite Loki, and an interesting cast that the series hasn't done enough with since (including Kat Dennings, Stellan Skarsgård, Idris Elba, and Jaimie Alexander, who make token appearances here). And at least it's not The Incredible Hulk (2008), which remains in a strange quasi-canon state in the MCU, referenced recently in What If?, Shang-Chi and the upcoming She-Hulk. There was also trouble in the air on 2013's Thor: The Dark World, when Patty Jenkins left the film, apparently unimpressed by what the movie was becoming, and was replaced as director by Alan Taylor. Jenkins went on to direct the well-regarded Wonder Woman (2017), and its less successful sequel. Loki's entire role was reportedly added in rewrites and beefed up during reshoots, and Christopher Eccleston seems wasted as the villain, leading to talk (at the time) that Marvel couldn't deliver an interesting villain (Loki aside). The result is acceptable but also inessential. Alan Taylor has said he was locked out of editing and had no control over how the movie turned out. This included a small Guardians of the Galaxy tie-in shot by James Gunn, and a prologue by Tim Miller. Jamie Alexander was injured for a month, and Christopher Eccleston was unhappy with the seven-hour makeup requirements for his role. Idris Elba referred to the constant reshoots as torture, and Natalie Portman tried to quit the film when Patty Jenkins left. Portman is noticeably absent when Thor kisses "Jane Foster" at the end of this film, and from all the Marvel movies that followed. Even in this film, Portman had insisted on slapping Thor for abandoning her. Old footage from this film was used in Avengers: Endgame, but Portman didn't return until the animated What If? in 2021, for an almost embarrassingly lightweight and silly comedic Thor episode. The movie she had actually returned for was this one, clearly having been promised a much juicier role for Dr. Jane Foster. Thor says in this film that he hasn't seen her for over eight years. Thor Odinson, God of Thunder, played by Chris Hemsworth, did not arrive on the screen fully formed. He is almost unrecognizable in that first film, with a short, bleached-looking beard and eyebrows and long blond wig. His look as a character was defined better gradually over the next few films, and the way he played the character also changed with time. 2017's Thor Ragnarok, directed by comedian Taiki Waititi, was a very purposeful departure from the more serious previous Thor films. Thor, in that film, seems a lot more like Chris Hemsworth, even resembling his comedic persona from 2016's Ghostbusters to an extent. There is more comedic improvisation and a more casual feel to the proceedings. You could explain it by saying that Thor's time on earth loosened him up a bit. It was a strange time for it- Thor has a pretty dark arc in this film and the Avengers films surrounding it, losing pretty much everything and everyone he cares about. This led to Thor's borderline-offensive weight gain in Endgame. While it's easy to mourn the more serious third Thor film that is hinted at here and elsewhere, that we never actually get to see, Hemsworth is very charming here and it feels like he's really found an onscreen persona that works for him. It was also, low-key, another Loki film, and even to an extent a Mark Ruffalo Hulk film, which Marvel isn't really allowed to make without working something out with Universal. Thor: Love and Thunder is the fourth Thor film and tenth appearance by Chris Hemsworth's Thor, or thereabouts. Thor is, at this point, the biggest name among the original Avengers to still be standing. Captain America, Iron Man, Black Widow and others have already departed, so the only other contenders would be the likes of Hawkeye, Nick Fury and Maria Hill. Loki, as this movie reminds us, has already died multiple times (with an alternate-universe version getting his own TV series, pulled from a timestream before his death in 2018's Avengers Infinity War). Hemsworth has grown into the role and remains one of Marvel's biggest stars, as the beefy, likeable, well-meaning but often childish and careless Asgardian God of Thunder. Director Taika Waititi mostly knows how to play to Hemsworth's strengths as an actor, and leans on the idea that this veteran Avenger ought to be every little kid's best friend, especially since he's childish himself. While the response to this installment was muted in a packed theater, a handful of people applauded during the credits at the card reading "Thor will return." As Jane Foster, this time round, Natalie Portman seems engaged and interested in what she's doing, although one can question the script's choice on what exactly to do with her. After over eight years, I wasn't sure what to expect from her, but for most of this film Jane Foster is basically telling a joke that doesn't land, and that's a pretty good summation of this entire movie. It spends a lot of time trying to be funny, but the funny parts aren't funny enough and the serious parts aren't nearly serious enough. Moments that should have some emotional weight look and feel like a sitcom. There's trouble in the air from the beginning, as we're introduced to Christian Bale's Gorr the God Butcher, a villain who steals the entire show by being the only one taking his role completely seriously. In his opening scenes, as he's introduced to the god he'd been praying to, he's the only part of the scene which isn't ridiculous, and despite some interesting visual ideas it's pretty clear that the scene called for a more serious treatment overall. The film basically works, but there are a lot of moments like that, which seem to expose the shortcomings of Waititi's style as a director. Too much of the film feels weightless because the drama and comedy are blending together into a mush. I am not giving all the blame to Waititi for this, as the film shows some signs of being messed around with in the editing room. One trailer has a joke with Thor gazing lovingly into the eyes of Chris Pratt's Star-Lord, from the Guardians of the Galaxy films. This moment is actually longer in the trailer than it is in the film, where the moment - or what's left of it - seems to come out of nowhere and vanish just as quickly. To name the elephant in the room, it feels like Waititi had intended a lot of gay content in the film, and had to negotiate at length with Disney about just how much of that would actually make it into the final product. There are more overt gay references here than in any previous Marvel film, and just as many moments where scenes seem to suddenly be missing something along those lines. Waititi's previous film, Thor Ragnarok, lost some scenes confirming the bisexuality of Tessa Thompson's Valkyrie character. She returns here as one of the leads, and there are several overt references to her sexuality (mostly restating stuff that was implied in the previous film). But there's also something missing whenever she interacts with Natalie Portman's Jane Foster, and I can't quite put my finger on what it might have been. I doubt that any romance was intended but their friendship also seems to be edited around, and at one point Valkyrie teases Thor that they're both on "Team Jane." Korg, the rock creature voiced by Waititi, also returns, slightly wearing out his welcome (after an accident involving Zeus) but also confirming his homosexuality. Chris Pratt is known to be very right-wing and religious, and when the trailer came out people were surprised he'd been involved in a joke like that at all. I don't know what kind of pressure was going on behind the scenes. Maybe he was a good sport about it. But the result in the final film is a real nothing of a scene, and the entire appearance of the Guardians of the Galaxy feels underdeveloped. As Korg narrates, it plays out exactly like a trailer for a movie we didn't get to see, interspersed with moments from movies we did see. Pratt has aged noticeably and the Guardians have no real chemistry with Thor here, making this feel like just an extended cameo, of which the film already has many. Storywise this makes some sense. As in Ragnarok, Waititi wants to jettison the baggage of the previous films as quickly as possible to do what he's doing, even if it means skipping half a movie's worth of plot. And just like in any Iron Man movie, Thor's old character flaws have come back, carelessly causing destruction all around him, just so that he can look more heroic when he finally focuses at the end of the film. But it's yet another way that the movie suggests missed opportunities. Thor and the Guardians of the Galaxy have had a movie's worth of adventures together, which we see in trailer-like form, but don't particularly like each other by the end of it, and the relationship seems to only bring out the most surface-level version of Thor, basically a parody of himself. And it's always a shame to not do much with Drax, Nebula, Mantis, et al. Meanwhile there's a very serious storyline with Jane Foster during which Jane Foster can't stop doing schtick, like trying out catchphrases. Eventually this is referenced in one of the film's most affecting serious scenes. It is nice that Jane Foster has a personality that's a bit different than you'd expect - this was also true in What If? - and it's intentional that her humor doesn't really land. Her character ends up being a mix of stuff which does and doesn't work, ending up somewhere in the middle. That's true of the movie itself. It's good to see Tessa Thompson's Valkyrie again, but the film doesn't exactly know what to do with her, beyond have her along for the ride. Thor: Ragnarok had strong themes about colonialism and it seemed that Valkyrie was a metaphor for indigenous people, something personal for Taiki Waititi whose father was Maori. This seems like a much less personal film, and perhaps Valkyrie's character reflects that once again. It's shown that she's sold out and become corporate, doing advertisements for Old Spice, and is generally bored with her duties as King of New Asgard. Perhaps Waititi feels that way too, although if you're looking for any more explanation for all of this than is present in the trailers, you won't get any. Visually, at least in theory, the film is going for an extremely colorful retro-80s vaporwave look. Which is not how the 80s actually were, but is something people like to evoke in design. The end credits are done in an exaggerated album-cover way, and the more fantasy-based scenes often look like something out of a Heavy Metal comic - although that does remind us of how sexless these movies are by comparison. It's not an especially stylish film, though, so the actual result of this is usually just mush. It's trying to be awesome in a way which doesn't always work, although it comes close enough often enough to get partial credit. There is a long, evocative sequence where the movie shuts the color off entirely, except for reflected light from weapons and eyes. It seems to come on very suddenly out of nowhere, but also works a lot better visually than the scenes immediately surrounding it. It's making a stronger visual choice, and one in keeping with the villain, the very colorless Gorr, whose scenes have a horror-movie aesthetic throughout, although one apparently intended to scare children. Christian Bale makes a big impact because there's nothing funny about his character. The moments where you see his playful side are his most horrific. It almost feels like Bale doesn't know what movie he's in, and the movie is better for it. Chris Hemsworth seems to know exactly what movie he's in, and mostly gets away with it because he's the star. There are, however, some scenes which come off as suspiciously bland. Russell Crowe tries out what is probably intended as a comedic Greek accent as Zeus. While Gladiator this ain't, he does actually flesh out a reasonably funny and complex character in a short amount of screen time, not unlike Jeff Goldblum in Ragnarok. It does all have a whiff of "jokes that aren't quite working" though. There is a moment where Crowe forcibly disrobes Thor, and the nudity is played for laughs. A lot of people questioned this as sexual assault, although the script later specifies that Thor enjoyed the moment. This is a good example of how the movie is tough to read and doesn't commit enough to anything, one way or the other. The last Marvel movie before this was "Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness." About halfway through we're introduced to a sort of alternate Avengers, full of cameos from characters who hadn't been seen in the MCU in this form. These scenes also seemed to reveal exactly who would be playing one of Marvel's biggest-name heroes. I was underwhelmed by this reveal, feeling he wasn't quite the right type ... although he'd been rumored for the part for years. There's also a quick cameo at the end by - presumably - one of the leads of the next Doctor Strange movie. Anyway, we get one of those moments in the mid-credits scene. A Marvel hero we haven't seen before is revealed, played by a known actor, and yes, I'm a little disappointed in the casting. I'd need a whole movie to get used to casting like this, and to know what Marvel intends to do with the character. A few seconds isn't really enough. Then there's another cameo, in another movie which didn't do enough with the Thor franchise's supporting cast. I wonder if there was a version where they did a final joke about an arm. Judging from reviews, Thor: Love and Thunder has been a divisive movie for Marvel, and something of a letdown after the better-regarded Ragnarok. It's not a bad effort, and maybe a movie with this basic plot and setup would never have been top-tier Marvel, or very different from what we get here. But it's the kind of movie that makes you think about tone, and the different ways that this material could have been handled which might have worked better. Maybe that's illusory, but I found myself thinking about missed opportunities and roads not taken. Maybe it's just because the movie has a comedic tone for so much of its runtime when the jokes don't really land and it's cutting into the drama. The movie is fine, and better than other Thor efforts, but it's not hard to become a backseat driver and wonder what was left on the cutting room floor. It's hard to answer what this movie is about, exactly, and why it should be about that. For the most part it works, and sticks the landing, and that's impressive enough for a Thor movie which doesn't feature Loki, and which writes Valkyrie out of the last act. Hemsworth has to carry the movie himself, for the most part, and he's up to the task enough that the biggest reaction in the theater was to the card: "Thor will return." That's good.

[fanfic-collection]

Loki x Reader: Apocalypse ch 3

As promised, please comment/like/reblog, anything

rebel4fandom

-

You begrudgingly left the warmth of your apartment. Thinking of Tony, and his friends that you had known, you knew you were able to do more than just huddle in the warmth of your living space.

The next several hours passed with you stomping through the halls, pounding on doors and seeing if anyone was still inside your building. To your relief, it was empty.

So, bracing against the bitter winds, you stepped outside and into the street, making your way to the next building over. Thus, you continued the process. Eventually, you found a small family, hunkered down in their family room. You pleaded for them to go to one of the shelters and with much persuasion and assurance that Tony Stark thought it was the right thing to do. The Avengers all supported it, after all, you convinced them to bundle up and follow you to brace the cold.

The trek to the shelter was long and arduous. You helped keep the weaker members of the family upright, blocking them from the buffeting wind that whipped through the city streets among the skyscrapers. Abandoned cars lined the streets, some with doors left open and snow piling up inside.

It seemed the snow had stopped today, but the wind still whipped up the snow into flurries, creating near white out conditions. You had your face bundled and had managed to scavenge ski goggles but the people you led were not nearly as lucky, you knew some of them were following you blindly. Some of them were stumbling over garbage, fire hydrants, city decorations, and objects you prayed were not dead bodies.

When at last you finally reached the shelter, the people running the shelter thanked you with a warm drink. They were grateful for more living people, but you knew it was filled to capacity and more mouths to feed meant less supplies for everyone else.

The number of living residents you found each day was quickly dwindling, it was only a week in.

Today as you sat inside the shelter, warming up from your trek, you saw another rescuer leading victims in. The Black Widow herself.

“I’m used to Russian winters but damn.” She said stamping her feet in the entrance to the area, her teeth rattling. “Alright it’s been years, but still.” She was shouting over the howl of the wind.

They ushered her inside, closer to where you were sitting with your mug of hot water.

“Hey, aren’t you Stark’s, uh?”

“Cousin or something, yea.” You nodded, telling her your name and holding your hand out to introduce yourself.

“I remember seeing you around the tower and the compound occasionally.” Natasha nodded, “Nice to see a familiar face.” She smiled at you, lowering her scarf and raising her goggles. “Feel like I’m going to have to crawl into a dead tauntaun out there or something.”

“Star Wars?” You laughed.

She shrugged with a grin. “Hey, anything to stay warm. I don’t really see much of anyone these days, we’re spread out so much trying to see how many people we can save around the world while we have the big guns figuring out what’s causing this.”

“Dr. Strange?”

“Yea, without his infinity stone, he’s a lot weaker.”

You nodded, “Shame about that.”

“I’m not complaining too much.” Nat chuckled weakly.

“Fair point.”

Natasha stretched her arms, “Even this bitter cold reminds me I’m alive.”

“We’re all glad you are.”

“There’s quite a few people that are alive again after that blip that we thought would stay dead.” Natasha said thoughtfully.

You nodded, “Yea, it’s weird how some of our biggest enemies became our friends too. Like what’s his name, Peter Quill? He was enemies with that Nebula girl, and then she became their closest ally, and Gamora vanished but, actually I’m not sure how that worked.”

Natasha shook her head, “Yea, you’d have to ask them.” She tapped her chin thoughtfully, “Although, when Thor said his brother sacrificed himself to stop the initial invasion of Thanos?”

You smiled, “I remember him being here for a bit, right?”

Natasha paused then slowly drew out the word, “Yes… He was, wasn’t he?”

“He came here to recover, Asgard didn’t want him, but they gave the Avengers the means to heal him.”

“Just the initial healing, once he could stand, he went back to Asgard. Right?”

“Yea, I talked with him a bit. He really wasn’t what people made him out to be.”

Natasha raised her eyebrow. “Tell that to Clint.”

“I’m not saying Clint shouldn’t hate him, I’m just saying, Loki well, he doesn’t have a silver spoon up his ass like I thought he did.”

Nat quirked her head.

“Some master spy, you think you’d interrogate him and get more out of him. Honestly you seemed to only get what you wanted out of him when you interrogated him.”

“Oh he definitely got in your head, what did he do to you?”

“Nothing!” You held up your hands, “I’m all me. I just, it seems kinda convenient that he talked only about the Hulk and the one thing he gets you to think about is the Hulk. Hardly seems like a stretch that you would draw a conclusion that his plan was about the Hulk.”

Natasha frowned and furrowed her brow, “Are you saying we shouldn’t have trusted Loki and not let them take him back to Asgard and should have kept him weak and in chains?”

You scrambled upright from your relaxed position. “No, no, no! I just, I kept thinking about the interrogation tapes and it seemed really bad spy work.”

Natasha huffed.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t…”

“I’m going to go look for others, maybe my shoddy work will help elsewhere.” Natasha set down her warm drink and she stalked off.

One of the nearby workers looked at you and shook their head. “Smooth.”

You scowled at them. Downing the last of your drink that it almost scalded your throat, you slammed it on the table and walked out after Natasha, sure to walk in another direction.

-

When the sun started to get lower in the sky, you hurried back to your apartment. There was no chance of risking being out at night. Any exposure in the dark would be instant hypothermia. Being alone at night was instant death. Thankfully it was still July so the days were longer, and you had more time to get back to your home, but you did not risk any amount of time in the dark.

Getting back to your home you settled back into bed, trying to thaw out and shiver yourself back to life. The heat croaked to life and you looked at the supplies you had collected to sustain yourself. It wasn’t much, but it would keep you going.

Swallowing hard, you turned on the TV and waited to see what news might bring.

A man was being interviewed, some sort of wild animal attack. No. Something else. You recognized Falcon on TV, the new Captain America. He was trying to talk to a survivor in a med unit. The survivor was near catatonic, covered in frost bite and mumbling in horror.

“Get the camera away from him, he’s not gonna talk if you keep shoving that thing in his face.” Sam grumbled.

The camera pulled away but the mic stayed close to Sam.

“Listen, just tell me what happened. Please, this isn’t the first attack, but you’re our first survivor. We need to know what’s happening. You’re ok, I’m Captain America, Falcon, call me Sam, whatever you want, I’m here and I’ll protect you.” Sam bent down and took their bandaged hand in his.

The man stared at Sam blankly, eyes staring into the distance, “They-they,” He stammered, “it… them… those things… they killed my whole family.”

Sam nodded, “I’m so sorry for your loss. Please, anything you remember, what they look like, sound like, anything.”

The man whispered, “Monsters.”

A roar of protests exploded as the press filling the room rushed forward trying to press microphones at Sam and the victim.

You could see the look of exasperation in Sam’s eyes at the press as the victim succumbed to exhaustion, or pain, though you were thankful the heart monitor showed him alive.

Abruptly a gold sparkling circle appeared in the room and the media jumped back in fright. A man you recognized as Dr. Strange stepped out.

“I’m a doctor.” Strange announced. “I’ll be taking over this case.”

Sam rolled his eyes.

“Everyone out.” Strange dragged out the ‘e’ in everyone.

And then the camera was in a hospital lobby. And you realized you were on your knees in bed, leaning towards the TV trying to know what had just happened, completely bewildered and about a hundred times more frightened.

More than just the cold was killing people?

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “A Chance.”

A continuation on the Dr. Krill lecture series about humans.

The room was large and echoing, voices raised up towards the ceiling, and despite their being enough room to fit more than three classrooms of the original size, there still wasn’t enough room to fit everyone, with some students standing or sitting off to the side. Cameras had been brought in to observe the lecture, and were being mounted as they watched, so other students from other universities could Audit the lectures.

A group of four students, two Vrul and two Tesraki sat together on the far right of the lecture hall. They had been forced to pair together for another one of their class projects and just ended up naturally gravitating towards what was familiar, sitting next to each other as they waited for the lecture to begin.

“Did you guys finish the assignment?”

“I did.” Of course the two Vrul had, that was to be expected.

The Tesraki looked down at their papers, work halfway finished because they had a tough time from telling what was myth from what was fact.

“Humans, dn not, in fact, cannibalize their young.”

“Where the hell did you hear that.”

“I had an older classmate tell me once, and I saw it in another news article.”

There was muttering, “Even we knew that.”

The other vrul shuffled their papers studiously, “Humans do not have hypnotic gazes that can paralyze their prey.” “Really, I felt for sure that that one was going to be real.”

The Tesraki’s ears drooped, “Well apparently, human stomach acid IS powerful enough to eat through metal.”

There was silence.

“No really, that can’t be true.”

The Tesraki nodded, “It isn’t a myth.” He sighed in frustration, “Everything I looked up about humans was true. Human bones are stronger than steel, the human liver can regenerate,  humans can transplant organs from one human to another and it will work. Humans have a system of language that doesn't require the use of noise, it's called sign language by the way.” 

One of the Vrul vibrated their antenna, “I am sorry to hear your search did not go well, perhaps if you had read more disreputable news articles it would have been better. Some of the major newspapers have the ability to contact better sources, which means their articles are most likely to be right.”

“Did you know the human jaw is powerful enough to bite off their own fingers, but humans don’t do it because number one, that hurts a lot, and number two, their brain doesn’t allow them to even consider it.”

There was a silence.

“Is that a fact or a myth.”

The other Tesraki sighed, “that is a fact.”

Just then the lights overhead blinked once and then twice. The students turned to look down at the room where Dr. Krill was making his way across the floor. Making his way in that unnatural and predatory way he had. His body moved with a fluid grace in comparison to the normal jerky movements of his species. His legs rolled one after the other in a wheel that kept him moving forward, never breaking. The shoulders on his body swayed slightly back and forth lending the power of his arms into the movement of his legs. 

The way he moved his head around the room, seeming to focus on each one of them in turn rather than taking in the whole scene at once was…. Unnerving to say the least his helium sack sat mostly unused against his shoulders and upper back as he moved into the room. Not once since he had started here had anyone seen him use it. 

He said it was too slow and made keeping up with humans difficult unless you were being dragged behind them.

It was…. Strange to watch…. How he never seemed to stop moving. Even when he spoke his four hands and his head moved to emphasize his points. When speaking to students coming up to see him, his body shifted in reaction to their words. His hands wide, then closed then open again, up and then down. His chin rose and fell in greeting to people and students he knew and to those he didn’t know so well.

It was a fascinating scene to watch, and one they were not entirely sure if they liked.

Dr Krill made a strange noise deep inside his throat, that over the speakers had the entire class turning to look at him. It was a strange sort of barking cough mixed with a hum. THey couldn’t have known that krill was imitating  the way humans clear their throat when they want to speak.

“Students, I hope you all had a good week, and I hope you were all able to complete my first, and easiest assignment?”

There was a soft muttering around the room.

The doctor clapped both of his hands together, producing a sharp noise that brought attention back to himself, “Well, as I have said, today, as a special treat for staying….” He turned to look around the room before muttering, “And multiplying, apparently.” He frowned when none of the students seemed amused at his joke but continued, “I am going to be talking about the human fight flight or freeze response and the entire reaction of the sympathetic nervous system.”

Students withdrew their holopads to begin taking notes.

The cameras zoomed in on doctor Krill.

“We discussed last week how humans are technically considered predator animals, and they are as they eat and consume other animals daily. However, humans are not an apex predator as it isn’t often that they consume other predators. In fact, for the longest time humans were some of the weakest, and easiest to kill preditors for larger and more intimidating animals. In this way that lead to the development of the sympathetic nervous system.”

He turned around the room, and the two Vrul cringed back as his eyes seemed to fall on thim. His antenna were unusually still,

“The sympathetic and parasympathetic systems account for two sides of the same coin. The parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for the workings of the body when the human is relaxed. It focuses primarily on digestion, relaxation slower breathing and even blood flow through the major organs including the eyes. It has other properties too of course, but when a human is relaxed their parasympathetic nervous system is the one generally in charge during those times.”

He turned to the projector, “Now assume you are an ancient human out on your natural habitat of the savanna -- without their adaptation the human’s natural habitat is warm and relatively dry with lots of open grassland and the occasional tree.” he flipped a picture on the projector and the class pulled back a bit in surprise at the picture that unfolded before them. It was a strange creature standing upright tall but remarkably hairy accept for on its face and hands, “This is a 3D rendered recreation of what early humans might have looked like based on skeletal remains found in their fossil record. The development of the human sympathetic nervous system likely started long before humans looked like this, but still the visual aid is one that I find compelling.” The class stared at the creatures thick face, heavy brow and sloping shoulders.

Humans today were much more graceful, though much less powerful than what this beast looked like. It was strange trying to determine which one was the superior. They supposed the current human, as its head size looked much bigger in comparison.

Krill pulled up a side by side comparison with his earlier diagram.

They recognized the modern human as he had been rendered in textbooks thousands of times since he had first been studied.

Very pale with his fine blond fur compared to the hulking shape next to him, with course brown fur that covered his entire body.

“Not the evolutionary changes that had to be made to get from this human.” He pointed at the hairy one, “To that one.” He motioned to the pale one, “The hips grew smaller, the spine took on a sharp S curve, the ratio of legs to arms changed dramatically, leaving the human with longer legs and comparatively short arms. The jaw and the face shortened, while the cranium expanded and hair receded across the body. The current human skeletal structure is finer and more delicate than its original counterpart, with a focus on precision in movement over power, which has become so important to their survival today.”

Dr Krill pointed to the picture of the old human, “This human tried its best to stay alive.” He pointed at the other human, “This human seems to be lacking in a lot of those same survival skills as he is constantly trying to get himself killed.” Krill sighed, “Modern humans are a little bit more complicated than their ancestors, but I digress.” Now imagine either on of these humans being faced with what might have been their natural predator on the savanna.

He flipped the image and the crowd gasped as a massive alien shape leaped up into a third projected spot. It was long and sinewy walking on four legs and a had a fur color like the tanned grassland. It’s eyes were face front, and on its massive paws there were huge hooked claws. Dr. Krill pressed a button to start the looping animation that allowed the creature to lope along with a sinuous grace that made the human lok clumsy and awkward in comparison, all three of the animations moving. 

The creature opened its mouth and the entire class pulled back as huge razor sharp teeth glinted in the light, as it yawned, shook its head, and then continued walking.

“This is an African Lion, a female of the species weighing in at only 280 lbs. Now while some humans can weigh that much, a human of comparable fitness like our modern human weigh in at around only 210 lbs as an adult male. Now this female lion has a higher muscle to body mass index than the human, can run faster, jump higher, and bite harder. She has long and protruding K-9 teeth and retractable claws. The human has no chance….. or …. Does he.”

The class shifted slightly in their seats  muttering 

Krill waited for a long drawn out moment before, “No, statistically he is going to get his face eaten off, however, he does still have a slight chance.”

“The human will see the predator, and immediately upon seeing the body is going to flood the system with a hormone called adrenaline. Adrenaline is a natural high for humans that can result in increased strength, speed, and heightened visual perception. The Parasympathetic system is switched off for the sympathetic nervous system. The heart begins to beat faster as blood is routed into all the major muscle groups, those being primarily the legs. All activity in the internal organs shuts down as that blood flow is routed outwards. Blood can even be funneled away from the brain, despite that seeming a bit counter productive, causing tunnel vision in the eyes. Despite this, the brain begins to work faster allowing the human to see at more frames per second which seems, to a human, to slow down time.”

He turned to look at them, “Now a human has three opinions in a dangerous situation like this, either fight, flight, or freeze. All of these responses would have been adaptive in an environment like this with fight being, hopefully, the last response. Many predator animals are geared for a chase, so freezing will give a human a better chance of survival because if they run they will most certainly be attacked. ON the other hand sometimes this will not work, and being able to run as fast as possible is their only option. Backed against a wall and unable to run fast enough, a human has to fight. Some humans do not react in this order.” 

He turned to look at the image, “The human body on adrenaline is capable of some wild and unbelievable things. The average human only uses around 40-60% of their body's natural strength. Systems in the brain will not allow more because if a human were able to use all the power of their body, they could rend muscle from bone. Well trained human athletes can use up to 70-90% of their natural strength, but during a time like this, the average human can be turned into a well trained athlete or more. In dire situations humans have been known to lift up to seven times their own body weight. During this time humans have been known to lift vehicles, wrestle wild animals, and throw large boulders. However, this does not come without a price, and the human will likely receive damage to their muscular structure.”

He turned to point at the pictures again.

“I heard a story about how a human choked to death a small mountain lion, and another man who fought off a shark. Humans are statistically unlikely to win a fight like this, but it isn’t impossible.”

He stalked around the room, “Humans do not just experience adrenaline when dealing with animals, but during accidents, public speaking events, and even in conflict with other humans. Expecting to be hurt, the human body has the ability to completely shut off its pain perception.”

There was a stunned silence all around him, and then an uproar.

Dr. krill seemed almost smug as he watched them react like that, and raised a hand for silence.

They quieted down, “Yes, you heard me, the human brain has the ability to completely ignore pain, until the danger is dealt with. The first surgery I ever did, on this human right here is a good demonstration…. If you do not want to see graphic images turn your head away now.”

Even if they had wanted too it was impossible to tear their eyes away as the image popped up on screen.

The class gasped.

There was a collective sound of disgust.

“That screwdriver had gone in through the front of his eye, broke through the back of the ocular socket and slid into one of the cortical folds of the brain. He WALKED into my surgery and conversed with me like a logical and reasoning person. He did not report any physical discomfort or pain, he did not scream or show any other signs of distress. His brain had completely shut off all response to the pain.”

He turned to walk around the circle.

“You see most of the time pain is a good thing, it allows you to know when something is wrong, but there are other times, dire situations like this where the ability to feel pain will only hinder the subject. If this human had been able to feel pain it is likely his thrashing and screaming would have caused more cortical damage than it already would have. I heard a story of a woman who fell off a cliff and broke both of her legs horribly, while she was still in pain, she managed to crawl her way off a mountain, and as soon as other humans found her she passed out as the pain got worse. Another human, who had been rock climbing, ended up with his arm trapped under a boulder and with no escape. He was there for days, but, in the end, he managed to cut off his own arm in order to escape.”

More horrified gasping from the crowd as they pulled away in shock and terror.

“These are just some of the most impressive stories. Not all humans will react like this. The vast majority of humans will freeze when they should fight, or run when they should freeze. Some will simply give up and curl into a ball, but there are other humans, like this, who under adrenaline can run like olympic sprinters, lift seven times their own size and fight better than the animals attacking them. The capabilities and the possibilities of a human under the influence of adrenaline are remarkable.”

His antenna vibrated just a little in amusement, “As you can imagine, humans do not experience this much these days, but psychological studies have reported that it is actually healthy for humans to experience the fight or flight response as it helps the brain retain that ability. For something to continue working you need to use it. Scientists say that exposing a human to a sympathetic response in a controlled environment is good for their mental health.” He sighed, “Of course this leads humans to watching horror themed movies, skydiving, and recreational fighting. Otherwise humans put themselves into controlled danger in order to feel what their ancestors felt a long time ago when they were being chased by large raging land predators, but when your species developed in an environment that hostile, it is to be expected.”

The group of four stared at krill, and by extension the animation of the real living human behind him. They tried to imagine the slim two legged figure winning a fight against the massive clawed beast, but were having trouble. Its teeth, which had once seemed so sharp, now were dull and almost useless. The nails on its hands, once considered claws were tiny, flimsy and pathetic, but….. It seemed strange, there was still something in the way it moved that suggested possibilities.

Humans were survivors where many other species were not.

Humans may not have had a very high chance.

But at least they had a chance. 

[poetrusicperry]

the poets and their fav marvel characters/movies !!!

ok honestly i have no idea if any of this makes sense lol but i hope it’s comprehendible. also i have not had the time or resources to watch any of the new mcu era, which is why i didn’t include any of it. and if you have any other ideas of which characters and movies the poets would like comment them bc i want to see what you guys think hehe !! <3 sending love and hugs to anyone who needs it (and anyone who doesn’t, too)

neil: neil adores comic books. he used to sneak them when he was younger, taking breaks from his summer school homework to read them (he has a stash in his room that his father still hasn’t found). there is no doubt in my mind that neil wouldn’t be head over heels for spiderman, are you kidding ?? most definitely tried to climb walls or hang upside down when he was little. desperately wishes he could come up with his own chemical equation for web fluid. he’d completely immerse himself in the fact that there are three different eras to depict and analyze, too, having a very heated debate with charlie and meeks about who the best spiderman is. also really wants to reenact the upside down kiss with todd

neil’s fav movies (he can’t pick a fav) would be: the og spiderman, the amazing spiderman, and spiderman: homecoming (likes spiderman: 3 purely for shits and gigs)

todd: i feel like todd really likes comics (would spend his summers collecting them and reading in his room while his parents took jeff to sports camps/summer camps). he’d love scarlet witch because todd really loves to see her character growth through the films (coming to understand her powers and utilizing them accordingly), and also just admires how badass she is (”she’s so powerful and she doesn’t even know it until she faces hardship. oh, i love her so much”). upon hearing this explanation, neil couldn’t contain a smile because todd doesn’t even realize that he’s the exact same way (’: todd also likes bucky because he’s “so cool” and his metal arm is “sick” hehe (and he really loves the bond that bucky and steve have)

todd’s fav movie would probably be captain america: tfa because he likes seeing young steve rogers of course, but also because todd admires his strength (sees himself in pre-serum steve and hopes that one day he will become his own version of post-serum steve (: ). also like avengers: aou bc that’s when he’s really first introduced to scarlet witch (watches the post-credit scene from captain america: tws just to see wanda and pietro)

charlie: charlie never really read comic books, but he loves the mcu !! first of all, charlie can’t decide anything ever, so why would picking his fav superhero be any different; peter quill, iron man, or black widow. he’d like peter quill because “he’s unapologetically himself and completely hilarious,” and would absolutely dress as starlord for halloween at least once (probably more than once). as for iron man, charlie just likes how cool tony stark is and how he invented a suit that could fly (”there are so many likable qualities about him !!” he’d say, to which cameron would reply, “like what, the fact that he’s a womanizer, a pompous ass, or that he’s seemingly too smart for his own good ?” and charlie would just smirk, “all of the above”). for black widow, it’d be pretty simple (“she’s so badass. i can’t tell if i want to do her or be her”). claims his honorary mentions would be korg, rocket, and groot

charlie’s fav movies are guardians of the galaxy vol. 1 and vol. 2 because they’re “fun.” likes thor: ragnarok because it also has fun vibes.

meeks: meeks LOVES comic books to begin with, and collects them avidly, but dr. strange and the entire idea surrounding his powers/strengths ?? the ability to bend time ?? if that doesn't sound right up meeks’ alley, idk what does. there are clearly a lot of things that meeks will geek out over unapologetically, but dr. strange is one of those things that he just will not shut up about, ever (”it’s just so AWESOME”). desperately wishes that sling rings were real. also gushes with todd about bucky’s metal arm, going off on a tangent about the science behind the “rigidity flexibility ratio.” can also go on for hours about the quantum realm (:

therefore, meeks’ favorite mcu film is dr. strange and he would be completely eager and buzzing for dr. strange in the multiverse of madness. also likes antman (:

pitts: also a comic book geek hehe. and i'm sensing that pitts really likes thor. thor is pretty much just a dorky, goofy tall dude (like pitts, just with... a lot bigger biceps LOL). finds a lot of the same things funny in the movies that thor laughs at. getting into thor gets him into norse mythology, where he’d spend hours searching for/reading books on it at the welton library (meeks would have to come find him because he’d been gone for that long). wishes he could grow facial hair that nicely, and even attempted to once, but charlie shut that down real quick HAHA (”i'm not going to stop making fun of how ridiculous you look until you shave”). becomes a huge einstein rosen bridge geek, learning all there is to learn about that (and norse everything).

pitts’ favorite movie is thor: ragnarok (”it’s the best out of the three”), and he really doesn’t enjoy thor: the dark world (almost has a vendetta against it, “why did they feel the need to dye his beard and his eyebrows ??”)

cameron: surprisingly knows a lot about comics and the mcu ? his fav character is captain america due to steve rogers’ unflinching morals and standards (cameron began to to veer a teeny tiny bit away from cap, though, when he began to rebel in captain america: civil war, but he still loves him). really likes the historical aspect behind captain america (wwii and the 1940s). he and pitts absolutely had a meltdown when steve lifted mjolnir and almost got kicked out of the movie theater for their reaction (”NO FUCKING WAY, NO FUCKING WAY !! I KNEW IT. PITTSIE, I KNEW IT !!” which is super uncharacteristic for cameron, but he doesn’t fuck around when it comes to cap). got in an actual argument with charlie after captain america: civil war arguing that tony was in the wrong (”steve was doing the right thing because he was following his moral code !! even if he was breaking rules, it still made sense,” and charlie would just laugh, “you say that, but i was just following my moral code when i made the phone call to god and you didn’t find that funny,” “you’re an idiot, charlie”). also really likes nebula bc he relates to her in the fact that she never felt like she belonged/fit in.

his father served in wwii, so captain america: tfa has a really special place in his heart (he’s seen it so many times he can cite the movie as it goes along)

knox: knox knows the least about superheroes/comics, but still likes to tag along to the movies when the poets go to a premiere. he really likes black widow (”she’s just really pretty, okay?”) and hulk (”he just smashes stuff, HAHA ! how awesome is that ??”). even though he’s not very knowledgable about the mcu or marvel itself, he loves to listen to meeks about everything. almost always asks questions throughout the entirety of the movie (”knox, shut up, we’ll explain after it’s over !!”). thanos really freaked him out tbh; the idea of something like the snap happening dialed his whole “carpe diem” thing to eleven lol. 

knox’s fav movie is the first avengers because the amount of conflict isn’t as bad as the other avengers movies (”i like seeing them work together, it makes me sad when they argue and disagree).

[mst3kproject]

The Neanderthal Man

Since I'm taking a break from fishmen, I might as well let Bigfoot catch up a bit.  The Neanderthal Man isn't exactly a Bigfoot movie, but it’s along the same lines and its entire starring cast has MST3K pedigrees.  Robert Shayne was in Indestructible Man and Teenage Caveman. Richard Crane was Rocky Jones, Space Ranger! Beverly Garland was in Swamp Diamonds and Gunslinger. Even the composer, Albert Glasser, wrote music for Invasion USA, Last of the Wild Horses, and almost all of MST3K’s Bert I. Gordon movies.

Some little mountain town in the middle of the Sierras (which the Portentous 50's Narrator takes some trouble to tell us is a primeval place where 'the defacing hand of civilization has fallen but lightly') is having a rash of saber-toothed tiger sightings!  At first these are laughed off, but when the game warden himself sees one cross the road in the middle of the night, it's time to do something about it.  The warden shows a cast pawprint to Dr. Ross Harkness in Los Angeles, who is interested enough to come up and see for himself. Local Mad Scientist Dr. Groves pooh-poohs the whole thing, which is enough to tell me that we're not dealing with a local cryptid here.  Somebody is making prehistoric monsters.

So... I may not have actually run out of movies, but I seem to be running out of plots, because this is a remarkably similar movie to Monster on the Campus. The major difference between the two films is that Dr. Blake turned himself into a caveman by accident, while Dr. Groves here is doing it on purpose.

Another difference is that Monster on the Campus' story, while silly, was linear – events escalated in a way that felt logical, and there were reasons why things happened when and where they did.  By contrast, The Neanderthal Man feels like a first draft.  At the beginning of the film, we're dealing with the saber-toothed tigers that Groves has been creating by injecting cats with his de-evolution serum.  We hear about these slaughtering game and livestock, and it seems like only a matter of time before they move on to human beings.  The beginning of the film is quite upfront about the fact that Groves is responsible, too, as it is only mildly mysterious in its depiction of one of the creatures escaping his lab.

Sometimes the saber-tooths are represented by an actual tiger, usually filmed from behind or at a great distance so nobody has to put the prosthetic teeth on it.  They do have prosthetic teeth, but they're only visible in a couple of shots. Imagine being at a bar and some guy tells you his job is sticking fake fangs on real tigers for a caveman movie!  For close-ups, there's a hilarious puppet head that looks like the sort of thing you'd see mounted on a frat house wall as a joke.  The director had the sense not to linger on this in motion shots, but later we see still photographs Groves has supposedly taken of his experimental subjects and they're even stupider-looking than we imagined.

Anyway, this goes on for a while with rising action, as the game warden goes to get Harkness and they manage to shoot one of the animals, only to have it vanish from the kill site when they try to show it to Groves (the movie never bothers to explain how that happened, incidentally. The ending suggests that the creatures change back when they die, but there's definitely no dead kitty cat at the scene, either).  The whole movie could easily have just had the cats and their creator as the antagonists, perhaps even ending the same way as Dr. Groves proves his work to the other characters by injecting himself. That's not what happens, though.  Instead, the story mostly forgets about the cats one we find out Groves has also been carrying on human experiments.

(Before himself, Groves' first experimental subject was his disabled Latina housekeeper.  Another series of photos show her half-transformed into a cavewoman who for some reason is wearing drag queen false eyelashes.  And as long as I'm talking about the movie being gross and bigoted, there's a bit where a woman is violently raped.  This happens off camera, but the audience is not allowed to entertain any illusions about it.)

The problem is that before we see him give himself an injection in the arm, we have had absolutely no indication that Groves has been giving his serum to anything besides the cats! Cats are stealthy, cryptic creatures and if one of those has been seen wandering around killing things, then surely a full-on caveman beating people to death would not be able to stay out of sight!  If what we were seeing were the first time Groves had tried the formula on himself then that would be an explanation, but his notes reveal that he's been doing it for so long that he's on the verge of losing control of the transformation and permanently reverting to a pre-human status, as indeed he does for the climax.  Much like the stupid dinosaur in The Beast of Hollow Mountain, the movie's main monster is given no build-up whatsoever!

There's worse yet, though.  The main characters, Dr. Harkness and Groves' daughter Jan, are barely involved in the 'caveman' part of the plot. They get phone calls about the various murders that Groves is committing in caveman form, and they snoop around the lab to figure out things the audience already knows.  The same story could have been told without them, perhaps with the game warden and the hunter as protagonists, and it would probably have been more interesting. The script also repeatedly has Dr. Groves wander in and bluster about how the tiger sightings are hallucinations and tall tales, which seems a little unnecessary when we already know he's responsible. The film-makers can't seem to decide whether they want us to know that or not.

Dr. Groves wears glasses.  Maybe the reason his primitive alter-ego is angry and breaking shit (although it does politely open and close the window it climbs out of, which made me laugh) is because it can't see. This is also my theory about why the Hulk smashes, and what do you know?  In Avengers Endgame he's got Hulk-sized spectacles and only smashes when he's told!

The direction of The Neanderthal Man can probably best be described as 'serviceable'.  It shows us what's going on, but doesn't particularly add anything to the proceedings.  The 'Neanderthal' mask is immobile and uninteresting, not much better than somebody's Party City Sasquatch costume.  Even the eyes are just painted on, meaning the poor guy in the costume can’t do much because he can’t see where he’s going.

The dialogue is often very strange, with characters talking like they're in a Jules Verne novel. If only one person did this, it might seem like a character quirk – it works for Dr. Groves, for example – but it's everybody. Seeing the cat carcass is gone, Harkness declares, “I refuse to believe in the supernatural!  There must be some logical cause and effect to this unholy adventure!”  Groves' fiancee Ruth berates him for ignoring her, saying, “I want you, the man I once knew!  The good companion, the cheerful friend.  I want the happiness we once found in each other.”  It's bizarre to listen to, and often audibly awkward for the actors.

Monster on the Campus was kind of trying to be about how humanity must choose to evolve away from our inner savage, although the finale didn't bear that out.  There's a scene in The Neanderthal Man in which this movie seems to be trying to go in the opposite direction, saying that we were never savage to begin with.  Dr. Groves is speaking to a panel of scientists about the size of the brain in various 'primitive' species of human.  He points out that by the time we reached Homo erectus we were already working with four times the cerebral jelly of a chimpanzee, and argues that our ancestors would have been recognizably human in their behaviour and problem-solving capacity.

(Amusingly, his chart of human evolution includes Piltdown Man, which was proven to be a hoax literally a few months after this movie's release.  What makes this even more tragic for the writers is that their list of primitive humans seems to be the only place where they actually did any research.)

The problem with Dr. Groves' theory is that he already knows it's wrong. We soon learn that he's been experimenting on himself with his serum for a while already, and his notes show that he knows very well he regresses into a near-mindless animal.  The movie does not even try to reconcile these ideas.  If Groves were continuing his experiments in the hope that perfecting his serum would give him a more accurate reconstruction of ancient man, that would be one thing, but the script never goes there.

So now that we've had two 'man turns into caveman by injecting science juice' movies, of course I have to ask which one is better.  Monster on the Campus wasn't a good movie but it was definitely an improvement on The Neanderthal Man in several respects, and although I don't have any way to find out for certain, I suspect it was an intentional remake.  It's definitely more entertaining and gets bonus points for including the Meganeura dragonfly, but nothing in it is nearly as funny as The Neanderthal Man's fake tiger head.  I guess if you're gonna watch one or the other, stick to Monster on the Campus, but if you're gonna watch both, start with The Neanderthal Man and do them in chronological order, the better to spot the inspirations and references.

Before I go, a fun paleontology fact: current thinking is that the saber-toothed cat's eponymous fangs actually didn't show when it had its mouth closed!  There are zero cave paintings or ancient sculptures of a saber-tooth cat with teeth visible, and when scientists looked at the structure of the enamel in the canines, it suggested that in life the teeth were hidden by big, fleshy, St Bernard jowls.  Google 'smilodon lips' and behold how this looks fully three hundred percent more ridiculous than you're imagining.  I love nature.