conundrum383k

[conundrum383k]

Pass The Torch

There’s a twisted way to branding memoriesFresh new layers, boarded and billed because the universe and time have no reverence. It’s the little things like how an old song or toy with nostalgia carriesOr telling her she peaked with Nokia and Motorola V3 Razr was not a generous sentence. But what does tomorrow know about quaint what-if stories?Or missed opportunities from the past, that even the…

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“lol Android users be like-” your phone is designed to break down after a year, your apps are all programmed to draw unnecessary power after 2 years, all your accessories and hardware are arbitrarily made with only 1 kind of plug in mind so you can’t use them with anything else or get them from anywhere else, the cables are 150$ and break in a year, your phones will not charge if there is lint in the port, the stores will ask you for 150$ to remove that lint, the phone itself is 900$

But your chat bubbles are blue so that balances it out right

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i honestly dont get why people stopped reblogging things they like on here bc like what are you afraid of??? people thinking youre cringey?? guess what bitch! youre on tumblr! it's all cringey! reblog everything you like and do it shamelessly no one fuckin cares

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Understanding The Endless: They are EXACTLY what they're called

I've seen this interesting post by @rey-jake-therapist and I've noticed something that The Sandman fans tend to do that some are already discussing: how we often view The Endless as humans and hold them to human standards when not only are they not human, they are not Gods who are supposedly all benevolent and always using their powers for the good of mortals and the world either (setting aside the fact that deities in The Sandman have never been infallible or all benevolent nor are they meant to be any of those in the first place). They're not even a separate entity who holds power over their dominion. They are not a representation of the concept they embody either. They are EXACTLY what they're called.

Of course when we see them as humans, they're all gonna be horrible, one way or another, not only because they're not humans in the first place, but also because they are what they are. It's their nature to be like that.

Take Death for example; she is friendly, compassionate, and seems to have a good head on her shoulders, so we tend to think that she must have good reasons for doing everything she does.

But she is capricious, she does whatever she wants. Sure she does things because it needs to be done but it's not beyond her to do things because she feels like it, or deny things even though her hands are not as tied as we'd like to think they are.

Or to do things for no deeper reason than 'why not?' (like how she let Hob live for as long as he wants to).

It seems unfair and arbitrary, and some of us may not want to see her that way, but that's what Death is.

We'd want to think that people's death have meanings. We'd like to think that people's death plays crucial part in the grand scheme of the universe. That every death must have happened for a good reason because otherwise it's unfair. After all, death is a painful thing. Why must it happen if not for a good reason? Why must it happen if it's not absolutely necessary? And there are horrible people whom we think deserve to die yet can't seem to die while wonderful people got their lives cut short even though they make the world a better place with their existence. Why must the good die way too soon while the horrible get to live?

It's unfair and arbitrary. But that's what death IS; it just happens. Death isn't a punishment. She's not justice. She's not mercy. She's just death. She takes what she takes and left those she wouldn't, and we don't know her reasons for that—or if there's any reason at all. But even if there is a reason, it still won't be a fair and acceptable reason to us. That's what she does, because she IS Death. That's the nature of Death.

Or Dream. He's our titular character (not even gonna say protagonist cause the series ain't even so much about him as it is about the beings he came across and whose lives he touched). We've seen him most out of all The Endless and we tend to forget that he IS dream itself (himself?) And not a being who controls dreams and nightmares because he has so many titles and more names than his siblings.

He's called The King of Dreams and Nightmares, Prince of Stories, and all that many names, we'd forget that he IS dream. He's not a separate entity who controls dreams, he IS that very thing.

And what is dream, really?

I've already sorta talked about how his weird traits and behaviours makes sense in context that he IS Dream. Dream is many things. He is, perhaps, the one Endless who's the hardest to define because he encompasses so many things; the unconscious, hope and wishes, fantasies and fear, stories and ideas, and so many more. But to understand him, we should also see his 'other side of the coin':

Reality

Dream is The Unreal. That's why he defines reality. That's also where he part with Desire even though they're so alike we often couldn't distinguish them; He's not just what we want, he's what we don't have. The reason we want something is because we don't have it. He's something beyond our reach, because once we reach our dream, it's no longer a dream; it became our reality. And once a dream becomes reality, it stopped being a dream. That's how Dream defines reality. And dream is ALWAYS more appealing than reality. What we want would always seem much better when we dream of it than it is when we actually get them because when we dream of it, we don't actually get to see it—it's not our reality when it's just a dream. When we get what we want, we'd see how it actually is, and there will always be something that's not quite like what we'd hoped it'd be. That's reality; it will never live up to dreams, because dreams aren't real.

Is it any wonder that Dream is distant, unreachable, and always seems more appealing before you actually get to know him? He IS Dream. That's the nature of Dream.

When you get to know him, he'd become a reality to you. If he has his own story, he'd become something 'true'. He'd be something other 'just a dream'—and we know his attitude about the very idea of being something other than what he's supposed to be (but then again, that too, might have something to do with how reality could never live up to dreams—on top of a bunch of traumas, but that's a whole another bagages to unpack).

That's why he can never share himself even with his lovers—even with his own wife. That's why he can't have his own story (or so he thought), because those would mean being known, and to be known is to be real, and to be real is to cease to be a dream. He can't do that.

Those are undesirable or even downright horrible traits in a person, but they're not people. They are what they are. They're exactly what they are called, and those are their nature. And the thing is? The world goes round because they have that nature.

We fill our lives with meanings because Death is arbitrary and seemingly comes without rhyme or reason. We cherish each other and value the time we have together because Death can come anytime and we'll never know when. We try to live our lives to the fullest because the only thing that's certain about Death is that she'll be there for us. We keep trying to do better, change our lives, change the world because we're always trying to reach our dreams. For some people, reaching their dreams might be their reason to live—which wouldn't be so if dreams are easy to reach. Some keep their dreams even after they've reached it because dreams aren't easy to reach. So on and so forth.

And there's this notion that each Endless aren't affected by their own dominion, but I don't think that's the case. After all, Death could and does become a mortal and die once every century. Dream wanted something he thought he could never have. Desire is never satisfied with just one of anything. Destiny occasionally see himself in his book and at some point in person, in his garden, he has his own destiny too—one of it being the last entity to die. Delirium went inside herself when she was hurting, and she is madness.

Taking that to account, I don't think it's so much as they're entirely unaffected by their domain nor are they excluded from it. I think it's rather like how we can never see ourselves except from reflection and we can never interact with ourselves the way other people interact with us. We understand ourselves like no one else, we know things about ourselves that nobody else does, but the only thing we know about how other people perceive us and experience being with us is from reflections and echoes. We never get to see ourselves directly with our own eyes or talk to ourselves like we do with a friend because we are that person. We are ourselves, so we experience ourselves differently from how the world experience us.

(am I making sense?)

What I'm saying is; I don't think The Endless are entirely unaffected by their dominion, or themselves. They're just perceiving and experiencing themselves in an entirely different way than how everything else are experiencing them because that's what they ARE. Much like we can't perceive ourselves the way people around us do precisely because we are who we are—we are the person in question. And The Endless aren't separate beings from their domains, they are EXACTLY that very thing. So it's a given that there are things they know about themselves that nobody else knows, but at the same time they have blind spots because they are what they are, and thus they can't experience themselves the way everything else does.

For example, Death might take on mortal flesh for a day every century, but she'd never lived a full lifetime; from birth all the way till death. She just lived for a day and die when the day ends. Even when the universe made a fake background and backstory for her, it's not real. It's not real to her. She doesn't have any attachment to it. She may take on mortal flesh, but she's still Death.

She might have taste of what it's like to be mortal, she sure knows how it's like to be many other types of mortal beings other than humans, but she still only live for a day. That's totally different than living your whole life the way you may stay in a foreign place for a bit and it will never be the same as the experience of people who have been living there their whole lives. You might get some impressions, you might grow fond of the place, you might even wish to stay there forever, but you wouldn't have the same attachment as the people who've lived there the whole time and thus it won't be the same for you to leave than it would be for them.

She experienced death—she probably had experienced it more than any other being at this point, dying once every century since God knows when—but not in ways mortals do. She can't die like mortals do because she IS Death herself.

In Dream's case, I've seen people bring up the fact that he doesn't sleep to mean that he's not affected by his own dominion, and thus he doesn't dream. Again, I disagree. He wants something he thought he could never have; he wants to quit being Dream of The Endless. That's his whole thing. That's what his story is about. If that isn't a dream, I don't know what else to call it. I think he doesn't sleep simply because... he doesn't need to. He doesn't even actually have a physical body that requires rest to maintain. He doesn't even need to breathe, why would he need to sleep? Doesn't mean he's entirely unable to dream—it's just different for him than how it is for every other dreamers, because he IS Dream himself. That's what he IS.

Also, are we forgetting that the one who actually say that he doesn't dream is Destruction, not Dream himself?

That's how I see it, at least. I've been talking about Death and Dream the most because I've seen these things more apparent in them, largely because they're the ones who appear the most, but I'd like to analyze the other Endless siblings too if I could, and maybe I would, but maybe that's for another time.

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Mairon and Olórin friendship back in Valinor, before the corruption and all the chaos

I had something like this on my old blog, but I couldn't find the post, so I'm writing it again but more elaborated this time.

Before anything, I believe that Mairon and Olórin are both very wise and powerful. However, Mairon chose the bad side while Olórin stood on the good one.

Back in Valinor, Mairon and Olórin were great friends. They would always be together, talk to each other and even ask for advice if needed. Maybe they were closer than Mairon and Eonwë.

I saw once here a headcanon that Mairon and Olórin created the fireworks together (I can't find the post, so if anyone can find it please tag the creator here) and I just loved this because just imagine: it is one of the good memories these two had together and a moment that Olórin kept with him with all his heart, even when he became Gandalf and left to Middle-Earth.

The thing is: Mairon was slowly being corrupted by Melkor and no one noticed it. Aulë, Eonwë and not even Olórin saw what was happening. When Mairon decided to speak out loud about his allegiance to Melkor and left, Olórin felt as if a part of his heart was broken. He blamed himself a bit, for not seeing what was happening and if he saw it before, maybe he would be able to ask for help and bring him back, just like happened to Ossë. But it was too late.

As the ages went by, he saw everything that happened. He saw Melkor coming back and, although he didn't believe fully that Melkor changed, he saw that Mairon stayed behind, keeping the work Melkor did. He saw the elves going to Middle-Earth and he already knew of most of their fates in their hands. He heard about Maedhros in Angband and later on the 2nd age he heard about Celebrimbor on Sauron's hands, and sometimes it was hard for him to believe that his old friend, that guy that was always with him, laughing, having fun, and such a talented soul was capable of doing all those things he did. He couldn’t bring himself to belive what happened in Númenor, it was just terrible to him.

When going to Middle-Earth he was scared of Sauron, because he knew very well what he was capable of doing. He was aware of the danger. And among all other feelings, he didn't want to fight his old friend. He didn't wish to. But in the end, he not only saw Sauron (Mairon somewhere in his heart) being defeated, but also he fought another friend that went side by side with him to Middle-Earth, who was also a Maia of Aulë: Saruman, or Curumo.

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Mairon and Olorin invented fireworks together. They worked with ingredients taken from the forges and storage rooms of Almaren, trying time and again to get the formula right.

Those times were some of the only things Mairon ever missed about Almaren–laughing and talking with Olorin as they perfected their firecrackers and took them to the fields to set them off at dusk.

Mairon always remembered the formula for explosives, using them in his experiments in Angband. He gave the formula to Curumo in Middle-earth, who used it for far darker purposes in the war.

Olorin’s love for firecrackers remained, even though his memories of their creation were bittersweet. Every time he watched fireworks burst with sparks of light, he’d faintly remember a forge Maia with hair the color of fire standing in a rolling meadow, his laughter never quite reaching his haunting eyes.

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We all (I hope) have those types of friendships with someone or a few people where your other immediate friends are unaware of or at least don't realise how close you are to them. Some days, those keep you going. The quiet kind, out of sight and just true. Simple but complete.

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“Do yourself a favor and learn how to walk away. When a connection starts to fade, learn how to let it go. When a person starts to mistreat you, learn how to move on … to something and someone better. Don’t waste your energy trying to force something that isn’t meant to be.”

— Reyna Biddy

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Ursula K. Le Guin

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When you invent characters.

You breathe them into existence with your pen. Then, they wrestle and take control of their lives from you.

Marching forth to create their own stories in your writing like rebels.

There's a beauty in their independence when they take wings and are free.

Ditto; creativity is life.

#Writing #Creativity

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& it may be useful at this stage to know that you owe no grand goodbyes; that the simplicity of your leaving is resounding enough. with this action you affirm your wherewithal to exist outside of the way-things-are. this is not something that is easy to do.

Victoria Adukwei Bulley

[conundrum383k]

Rick Sanchez, Don Draper, and BoJack Horseman are three examples of a popular male character trope: the intelligent, talented, toxic, disconnected, detached man who fails to connect with others and is consistently and wildly self destructive in his quest to fill an emotional void with anything but human connection. The problem with this character archetype lies with the fans, insofar as a lot of people, a specific subset of men in particular, miss the entire point of the character.

They’re so easily sucked in by the flashy veneer of masculine bravado on the surface of these damaged characters that they fail to understand why the characters are presented this way: you do not want to be like them. You are not supposed to identify with them positively or see them as someone to emulate, you are not supposed to sincerely root for them to win most of the time, they are antiheros.

In spite of being the protagonist Rick, Don, and BoJack are almost never the “good guy” in any given scenario, they are almost always selfishly motivated, and explicitly harming innocent people for their own gain. The rare moments of redemption usually don’t last.

Idolizing and lionizing these characters as an ideal or something to aspire to entirely misses the concept of the characters, and worse, celebrates behavior that is explicitly shown to be toxic and harmful.

If you identify as “a Rick” then the entire concept of the show has gone completely over your head. The creators of all three shows position their characters clearly, and get more blatant with each season.

To be clear, seeing negative traits in yourself and identifying with the struggle to improve them, or wanting these characters to change and grow is not what we’re referring to here, but rather the explicit support for and celebration of these characters as they are. This isn’t even a critique of the characters themselves. All of whom are well written, interesting, and complex, but rather it’s a critique of how we see and interpret these characters. This archetype applies to many characters like Sherlock, House, and Archer, and is also mirrored in family members like Beth to Rick or Mycroft to Sherlock. Liking these characters is fine. Enjoying them ia fine, but acknowledge what they are.

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"kid.90" is an intriguing documentary film. It's a great take on the era and the distance even when close that plagues a lot of youthful friendships...the sadness in partying, the silent cries for help, and the loneliness in the crowded room. Nostalgic but with clear hindsight.

[conundrum383k]

Mairon and Olorin invented fireworks together. They worked with ingredients taken from the forges and storage rooms of Almaren, trying time and again to get the formula right.

Those times were some of the only things Mairon ever missed about Almaren–laughing and talking with Olorin as they perfected their firecrackers and took them to the fields to set them off at dusk.

Mairon always remembered the formula for explosives, using them in his experiments in Angband. He gave the formula to Curumo in Middle-earth, who used it for far darker purposes in the war.

Olorin’s love for firecrackers remained, even though his memories of their creation were bittersweet. Every time he watched fireworks burst with sparks of light, he’d faintly remember a forge Maia with hair the color of fire standing in a rolling meadow, his laughter never quite reaching his haunting eyes.

[conundrum383k]

Mairon and Olórin friendship back in Valinor, before the corruption and all the chaos

I had something like this on my old blog, but I couldn't find the post, so I'm writing it again but more elaborated this time.

Before anything, I believe that Mairon and Olórin are both very wise and powerful. However, Mairon chose the bad side while Olórin stood on the good one.

Back in Valinor, Mairon and Olórin were great friends. They would always be together, talk to each other and even ask for advice if needed. Maybe they were closer than Mairon and Eonwë.

I saw once here a headcanon that Mairon and Olórin created the fireworks together (I can't find the post, so if anyone can find it please tag the creator here) and I just loved this because just imagine: it is one of the good memories these two had together and a moment that Olórin kept with him with all his heart, even when he became Gandalf and left to Middle-Earth.

The thing is: Mairon was slowly being corrupted by Melkor and no one noticed it. Aulë, Eonwë and not even Olórin saw what was happening. When Mairon decided to speak out loud about his allegiance to Melkor and left, Olórin felt as if a part of his heart was broken. He blamed himself a bit, for not seeing what was happening and if he saw it before, maybe he would be able to ask for help and bring him back, just like happened to Ossë. But it was too late.

As the ages went by, he saw everything that happened. He saw Melkor coming back and, although he didn't believe fully that Melkor changed, he saw that Mairon stayed behind, keeping the work Melkor did. He saw the elves going to Middle-Earth and he already knew of most of their fates in their hands. He heard about Maedhros in Angband and later on the 2nd age he heard about Celebrimbor on Sauron's hands, and sometimes it was hard for him to believe that his old friend, that guy that was always with him, laughing, having fun, and such a talented soul was capable of doing all those things he did. He couldn’t bring himself to belive what happened in Númenor, it was just terrible to him.

When going to Middle-Earth he was scared of Sauron, because he knew very well what he was capable of doing. He was aware of the danger. And among all other feelings, he didn't want to fight his old friend. He didn't wish to. But in the end, he not only saw Sauron (Mairon somewhere in his heart) being defeated, but also he fought another friend that went side by side with him to Middle-Earth, who was also a Maia of Aulë: Saruman, or Curumo.

[conundrum383k]

A Tale of Threads in Salone.

A Tale of Threads in Salone.

Some version of this piece has been in my draft for almost a year. Time they say fashions us with opportunities, but I think I’ll just settle on the notion that this write-up decided to walk out of the shop a la mode during the end of the Ramadan fasting season. The skill with fabrics and the magic of weaving seamless art to adorn our bodies have been well documented in the lore and legends of…

[conundrum383k]

F@&k Feelings

Now It's appealing

Because she misses the feeling

of being in love

Similar to the feeling

when we were on drugs

Never broke through my ceiling

While I was Dealing with us

Never got around to healing

She was concealing too much

And I never really got the feeling

of how real that it was

No matter how I was feeling

I couldn't conceal all these cuts...

Overwhelmed

because im feeling too much

So now im peeling off

to the plug

So I can feel me a buzz

So I guess now Im the villain

Because im not feeling us

Because I gave up my trust

But I never gave up

And you violated

baby

And I'm as real as it comes

Love is overrated

been trying to save what it was

But baby you got me wondering

Who's gonna save me from us

Not speaking the same language

Feeling dangerous and such

Driving home and

Fucking Faded

cuz I been feeling too much.

Got me screaming fuck feelings

And never feeling enough...

Gat dayum

Feeling all these feelings is tough.

- Devine Theory