#but the Goblin kids have guts

[bhaal-battle-beer-bard]

Can Goblins Be Children? (Neil Newbon BG3 stream animation)

Neil is 💯 % Astarion 🤣

Damn, he is gameplay morally even worse than Astarion 😆😂 Haha

Need to share this masterpiece with you, that the creator gets more attention, because she puts the highlights so perfectly together and the animations make it even a hundred times funnier, so you are crying tears 🤣

[designernishiki]

is there a comprehensive list somewhere of all the serious injuries kiryu has ever gotten because man am i curious. i want to know the Full Scope of how fucked up this man’s body must be

[the-kr8tor]

Okay, but like, what about Hobie x a reader who's like, super resilient? As in resistant to physical dmg. Like idk how to word it, but someone who like, accidentally chops of half her finger then is like, "Oh no, I'm fine :)" then puts rubbing alcohol on it. And he's just like freaking out like there's so much blood on the counter?? Idk, I just thought it'd be funny because I'm kinda like that irl ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thank you so much for requesting!! I loved writing it ❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x gn! Reader/ Spider-Punk x gn! Reader

Word count: 1.2k

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, cw blood, cw injury, cw food mentions, established relationship, FLUFF.

A/N: a bit late for another Halloween fic lol it's still Halloween somewhere right? (Wrong)

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

The cinnamon smelling cookies in the oven makes your stomach grumble. With your hands occupied with the pumpkin carving knives, you pout at the rumbling feeling. You and Hobie are speedily carving out pumpkins together during Halloween night. You would've done it earlier on your own but you wanted to carve them together with Hobie. Unfortunately, Goblin doesn't care about the holiday despite his pumpkin shaped bombs.

So you're carving away, chipping at the face you've doodled that Hobie lovingly told you that it looks eerily like you. Which earned him a face full of pumpkin guts thrown at him.

Hobie senses your hunger, and how you're carving away without care. “Love, it's not a competition.”

“I know, but the trick or treaters will be here any minute!” You huff, poking out a finished ‘eye’ in your pumpkin. One down, a few more shapes to go. “Besides, that movie we watched the other day fucked me up, I don't want to be murdered by a pumpkin demon for not having a jack o’ lantern on our doorstep.”

He chuckles, going around the counter and abandoning his own half finished pumpkin. “The little demon won't come ‘ere knowin’ that ‘m over ‘ere, lovie.” You give him a look as he slides his arms around your middle, chin perched on your shoulder as he rubs his chin on you lovingly. “‘sides, this was supposed to be fun, remember?” Pecking your cheek, you lean closer as he smothers your jaw in warm kisses. Who needs a chimney when you've got your walking furnace right beside you? “Slow down for me, yeah?” Whispering lowly in your ear that sends goosebumps on your arms, he rubs them away with an even warmer hand before he reluctantly moves away to check on the cookies.

“Yeah,” you say with a lovestruck smile, turning around to see Hobie bending down while cracking open the hot oven and shutting it off. “You're right, this is fun, Hobie.” You take the opportunity to ogle him with a tilt of your head. He senses your eyes on his behind of course, prompting him to quickly look over his shoulder, catching you mid turn as you pretend you weren't eyeing him down.

Hobie slides himself next to you on the counter, elbow placed on the cold tiles, chin resting on his palm with a smirk on his pretty lips. “Saw somethin' you like?”

You glance at him, trying to tamp down your laughter. “Well, your jack o' lantern isn't done yet, I don't like that.”

Hobie was about to steal a kiss right on your smug lips but the doorbell ringing and the unmistakable chime of children outside interrupts him. “Tight arse.” He says against your pursed lips before walking away to grab the bowl of candy on the table.

“Flat ass.” You call after him as he makes his way to the front door. He chuckles as he opens it, and the trick or treaters’ voices echoes inside.

Shaking your head with a grin, you continue to chip away at the pumpkin, following the zig zagged line of its serrated smile. As you chop and cut, you hear Hobie giving out candies.

“Nice costume, little man.” He says, and you're sure he's giving the kid a full sized chocolate bar based on the lilt of his tone. “Spider-Man himself would be jealous, eh?”

You wanted to see what the said costume looks like, so with a quick peek while you're cutting out the last bits of pumpkin, you smile at the kid's homemade costume. It's even complete with Hobie's signature spikes and leather vest. Your smile falters as you feel something warm trickle from the pads of your thumb, looking down, you see crimson ebb from your fingertip down into the jack o’ lantern’s grin.

“Oh.”

Hobie's senses tingle as he shuts the door with a quick farewell to the kid. Goosebumps rise on his nape, head blaring alarms in his ears. Turning around to see what his senses are pointing at, he almost drops the bowl of candy when he sees your blood flowing from your hand, pooling down on the white countertops.

“Shit, love.” He speed walks towards you, hands outstretched to cradle your bleeding finger. “What happened?”

“I nicked myself, I'm fine.” The amount of red flowing out from the cut says otherwise. “I just need to wash it.”

“Fuck, you're bleedin’ a lot.” He curses under his breath as he helps you towards the kitchen sink, opening the faucet to let the warm water wash the crimson away. “You alright? How do you feel?” The sink water quickly blends in with your blood as it goes down the drain.

“I'm fine—” Hobie's already grabbing a clean towel from the rack, “Hobie—” he's wrapping it around your finger, watching the blood stain the white cloth. “Don't worry, I'm really fine.”

“It won't stop.” His eyes widen at how fast the red overtakes the pristine cloth. “Shit,” he wraps it tighter, and you don't even hiss or groan. Flicking his worried eyes at you, he sees you shrug at him. “You don't feel that?”

“I told you, I'm fine.”

“Bein' fine and not feelin’ any pain ain't the same. What if you nicked a nerve or some shit?”

“I don't think so,” you take a peek at the now drenched cloth. “Can you grab me the alcohol, please?” You say, awfully calm about the blood you're quickly losing.

“Alcohol?!” He scoffs out, guiding you down on the dining chair, just in case you faint. “Love, that won't help the bleedin’, It'll hurt you more.”

You bat your lashes at him, smiling as if you're not bleeding profusely. “Please?”

He sighs, remembering the med kit you have in your cabinet for him whenever he comes home with various wounds after a harsh patrol. “No, I'll get a proper disinfectant.”

“But, alcohol works best on me—”

“No,” he chuckles nervously, feeling your warm crimson on his palms. “If this doesn't stop in a minute, ‘m bringin’ you to hospital.”

“It's just a cut, I need alcohol, that's all.”

Hobie stands up, hands on his hips. It's his turn to take care of you, no matter how stubborn you are. “Stay ‘ere, if you feel faint yell for me, yeah?”

You huff in your seat, surrendering to his coddling. “Okay,” he enters your bathroom, knowing what he's already rifling through. “I don't need stitches, Hobie!”

“If you keep bein' like this, I'll stitch you up.”

“Okay, doctor Frankenstein!” You blink away the sudden dizziness and black dots dancing in your vision. “Hey, Hobie.”

“Yeah?” He makes his way back to you with the med kit, senses blaring at him.

“I feel a bit light headed actually—” You fall forward, eyes rolling on the back of your head.

“Love—!” He catches you in time. Putting his arms around you to carry you in a bridal hold. Even with his thudding heart and heavy worry, he calmly brings you towards the front door. As he opens it, he's greeted by a group of costumed children, their screams of terror at your bloodied hand almost freezes him in place. “Shit, it's not—!” They run away from the house, still screaming in horror. “Damn it.”

As he carries you towards the car, he'll make sure you'll never hear the end of his teasing after you've come too and hopefully better after some treatment.

[ladykailitha]

Of Butterflies and Backstrokes Part 2

Woohoo!!! I'm back with the next chapter of this lovely fic.

Steve and Eddie start circling each other, but they aren't there yet.

Since it's been awhile (three weeks eekk!) I'd go back and read part one again. ;)

Part 1

~

Eddie got home that night, tired and aching from a long day of grunt work. He found he didn’t hate Murray, but he if he had a choice of passing him in a dark alley or turning tail and running the other direction, he would chose the latter every time.

Murray would spend the first week watching over him and helping him when he made mistakes then next week he’d have to do it all on his own.

Eddie worked from eight to four and the pool opened at 9am and closed to the public at 6pm. Then it was given the rich toffs with their personal coaches until eight or nine. But from when they left and until ten, staff was allowed to use the pool for personal time.

The rec center itself opened at 6am for all the people who wanted to work out before before they had to work. The pool used to open then too, but they had to stop doing that. It was without lifeguards and during that time there were huge ass signs that declared no lifeguard on duty. But because some idiot woman left her kids to play in the kiddie pool while she did yoga or some shit and the little shit goblins got into the big pool and one of them almost drowned. If there hadn’t been one of the trainers arriving early to set up for his class, the shit goblin would have died.

So because of one asshole, the public wasn’t allowed to swim in the mornings before the lifeguards were on duty, that left staff able to use it during that time. And oh boy did Eddie abuse the hell out of that on Saturdays. He, of course, double and triple checked with Joyce and Murray that he was considered staff before he did it the first time. But for three hours one day a week, the pool was mostly his.

Sure, every once in awhile he’d see a lifeguard or a trainer come take advantage of the quiet time, but mostly he was alone. He loved it.

In fact he got to know the lifeguards and trainers. Well all but one of them. Robin, Jonathan, and Nancy were all trainers. Vickie, Carol, Nicole, and Tommy were all lifeguards. All but Steve.

Steve didn’t use either of the two Olympic sized pools, but rather stayed in the endless pool, which was in a separate room. Eddie had been tempted to try it, but he’d have to ask someone how to use it and he just didn’t have the guts to.

He decided that lifeguards were snotty know-it-alls, with the exception of Vickie, and all the trainers were the cool kids.

Nancy trained the advanced students, Jonathan trained intermediate, and Robin with Steve trained the beginners. Which apparent had four different classes. Adults, teenagers, eight to twelve year olds, and the baby and toddler class.

During the day, Eddie would watch the swimming classes and he started noticing a strange pattern. Steve never went into the large pools. He would crouch on the sidelines with his little whistle and blow it when he wanted his class to stop. Then Robin would get into the water with them if she wasn’t there already and correct them.

Or they stayed in the kiddie pool if they were young enough.

Murray caught him staring the second week. “See something you like?”

Eddie wrinkled his nose in distaste.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he huffed going back to restocking the towels. They had gone through them faster today than usual. Or what counted as usual to Eddie in his two short weeks.

“Sure you don’t,” Murray said with a sneer. “I’ve seen you watching the pretty lifeguards and trainers.”

“Well, I’m not going to stare at the coaches,” Eddie said, rolling his eyes and moving on to the laundry baskets. “Considering I’m out of here before they even deign to show up.”

Murray barked out a short laugh. “There’s a reason for that.”

Eddie paused what he was doing and straightened up. He turned to look at his supervisor. “Why’s that?”

Murray just shrugged. “Let’s just say coaches and trainers don’t mix well. Like oil and water.”

Well, Eddie thought, that was cryptic as fuck and annoying as hell. But instead of pressing him, he just got back to work. After all they weren’t paying him for this shit and he just needed to get it done.

“What’s Harrington’s deal, anyway?” he murmured as he pushed the laundry cart past Murray.

“Not my story to tell.”

Eddie sighed. Apparently his supervisor was going to dangle a carrot only to yank it way. Story of his life, honestly.

Which was to say it fucking sucked.

~

Steve came out of the men’s dressing room a couple of weeks later to find the new maintenance guy watching them again.

The guy turned away when he got caught and bent over to put something away.

Steve turned to Robin. “Does that guy give you creepy vibes?”

They started walking to the kiddie pool for their first class of the day. Teenagers. God, he hated teenagers. They were only there because their parents made them, they never listened, and one or two of them would end getting into trouble, every god damned time.

“Who, Eddie?” Robin asked, looking over at the guy who had began mopping the endless puddle by the towel dispensary.

“Oh is that his name?” Steve asked, curious.

Robin nodded. “Yeah, he’s actually here doing community service. Got caught dealing and was sentenced to working here for about three months.”

Steve chewed his bottom lip. “Still not beating the creep vibes there, Robs.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she said and threw her head back, laughing. “But no, he’s really nice guy and you’d like him if you actually joined us on Saturdays.” She poked his side for emphasis.

He wiggled and squirmed away fro her. “You know why I can’t.”

She sighed and cocked her head to the side knowingly as she sized him up.

Robin and Steve had actually had the same swim coach growing up, her parents applying to some disadvantaged kids program.

Steve excelled at it while Robin merely enjoyed it. After she graduated from high school she went into linguistics and then learned there aren’t that many jobs for a polyglot. So she became his interpreter at international events like the World Championships and the Olympics.

Especially the Olympics as the primary language is French.

After his accident she got them the job of teaching kids how to swim. Joyce was fine with their little arrangement as she called it and most parents were understanding once they found out why a swim instructor didn’t like deep pools.

There were always those that complained, but Joyce would refund their money and tell them to go elsewhere. First complaint and bam! They were gone. She trusted Steve and that’s all that mattered to her.

“I know, dingus,” she said linking their arms together. “You’ll figure it out eventually.”

“Thanks.”

They got to the pool and found five spotty teenagers waiting for them. Four boys and a girl. One of them, who had gangly limbs and freckles on his arms and face sneered at him.

“What are we doing at the kiddie pool?” he whined the second he saw them. “It’s for like kids.”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “I could toss you in the deep end the main pool and see how well you fair, if you’d like?”

The other kids stared at him in shock, clearly not expecting Steve to bitch back.

“You wouldn’t!” the snotty teen huffed. “You’re not allowed to do that!”

Robin and Steve shared a glance and then Steve just shrugged.

“It’s what we do with the babies and toddlers,” he said, nonchalant, batting his eyelashes innocently. “I mean if it’s good enough for babies, it should be good enough for you, right?”

The kid’s mouth opened and shut without a single word coming out.

“You know,” Robin said dryly, “moving your mouth like a fish doesn’t mean you are one, so I’d close it if I were you.”

He snapped his mouth shut with an audible click and gulped loudly.

Once Steve was satisfied he wasn’t going to say anything else, he started the class.

Then when they in the pool learning how to float, Steve looked up to see Eddie grinning at up him. He blushed and looked away. He didn’t know why his insides suddenly felt like liquid metal had been poured down his esophagus but he knew he liked the feeling.

~

Okay, so maybe Eddie liked how pretty Steve was and how he would take down the Chads and Karens when they threw fits and how Joyce backed him up every time. But he really did try to keep the staring down to a minimum.

Which he absolutely failed at if Joyce’s teasing and Murray’s snide remarks were to go by. Like the only people who hadn’t teased him about it was Hopper and his Wayne. And he figured it was only because they never saw how flustered he got when Steve came around.

The trainers teased him, the lifeguards teased him. His friends teased him. God he wanted to murder Jeff in his sleep sometimes.

“Look, man,” Jeff said, “you’ve got to at least talk to him. Robin even said that he thinks your staring is creepy.”

Eddie let out a pained sigh. “We don’t have breaks at the same time and he never comes into the main pool area if he can help it.”

Jeff scratched his chin. “Maybe he’s afraid of water.”

“Like a swim instructor could be scared of going into the pool,” he scoffed. “He teaches in the kiddie pool and the endless pool, so it can’t be all water.”

Jeff just shrugged.

But the comment wouldn’t let go his brain. It created an itch at the back of his mind every time he saw Steve.

The closest he ever got to the pool was just out of arm’s reach. One time he even caught one of the teen-aged beginners try for him and missed.

Steve got up and walked away and the kid was forced to do pedaling exercises until the class ended. And even then Steve still hadn’t come back from class.

He needed to mop the men’s changing room, so he called out. “Maintenance! Hey anyone in here?”

When Eddie didn’t get a response, he walked right in with mop and bucket. The rec center liked to keep the area as dry as they could even though there were signs everywhere: CAUTION WET FLOOR.

He started by the showers and slowly made his way to the changing rooms, when he got to the last stall he actually found it locked.

Shit.

He hoped he didn’t have to crawl under the gap in the door to reach around and unlock it because little kids were shits. More than once Eddie had seen them lock the door and crawl out, leaving it locked and any appeals to their parents fell on deaf ears.

But as he crouched down to look he could hear the sounds of someone crying softly. He then spotted the soft shoes that a lot of the swim staff wore again, color coded like everything else in this place. White for trainer.

Eddie’s heart sank.

“Hey, Harrington, that you?” he called out gently. All their last names were on the backs of their polos.

There was a sniffle or two before the weak, “Yeah, yeah. Sorry, just give me a minute and I’ll be out of your way.”

The door opened and a very disheveled Steve came out of the stall, head down and shoulders rounded.

“You sick or something?” Eddie asked, tilting his head to get a better look at the man.

Steve let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah you can say that.” He went to the sinks and splashed water on his face couple of times before drying it on a paper towel and throwing it away.

Eddie watched as the trainer exited the changing rooms leaving him with more questions then he had answers.

~

Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15

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[thelurchinghound]

Midnight snack

[Request info] - [Navigation] - [His Pinterest]

Gender: Tiefling! FTM reader

Kinks/Warnings: Non-con, dacryphilia, eating out, fingering. Words like cunt, pussy, clit, etc used for the reader. Mentions of death.

A/n: Ah love my evil cowboy guy, he's so silly. Sorry if this is shit cuz I wrote this at like 1 in the morning on no sleep and a dream. Felt like I should fed y'all or something. THERE ARE MINOR SPOILERS FOR BG3 ACT 1.

| OC(s) used: Adonis 'Half-Elf' | Words: 876 | Proofread? No | NSFW |

By hitting 'keep reading' you are accepting that you're fine with reading my content (Don't like? Don't read and scroll.)

The smell of blood lingered in the grove after the slaughter of the tieflings and druids. Bodies of all sizes lay in piles of blood, bile by some. Goblin shouts echo in victory, looting the wooden trunks and grabbing all the beer they can. Though, Adonis didn't even glance at them. A sneer of dark satisfaction on his lips as his foot made a sickening crunch to the tiefling's head. Killing it if it wasn't dead already. His foot plants on their chest, and with a rough yank, he pulls his long sword from their stomach. Clearing the weapon of its gruesome traces on their shitty rags that they used to call clothes.

"Pity, so young, so stupid," he grumbled in a low voice to himself, his tone holding no remorse for the young tiefling. With a grunt, he stretches out, turning to talk to Minthara. The flick of a tail out of the corner of his eye drew his focus. Now that made his eyebrow quirk, a devilish smile gracing his plump lips. It seems the lucky ring he pried from that bratty kid's hands did work after all. He strolled towards the barrel, both hands on the hilt of his sword. His leather boots squelch in the bloody mud.

Adonis didn't even give you a chance to struggle, plead, or try and shove him away. His bloody fist twisted the collar of your shirt. Pulling you up to him, his peach eyes staring daggers into yours. He looked at you with malice, so much anger in his heart for a stranger. The half-elf reeked of spilled guts and liquor. It was pungent, assaulting your senses, and left a bad taste on your tongue. It made your face cringe, though he didn't seem to notice or care enough.

"Well, what do we have 'ere?" He said, shifting from one foot to the other. His gloved hand yanked your face from side to side. The stickiness of blood now coated you. Sharp eyes examining every little detail of you. "You're slicker than a hog in a mud puddle, ain't ya? Thought ya could escape my eyes? My wrath?" Adonis hissed before a swift knock to the head befitted you. You were out cold in less than a second.

When you woke up next, you didn't recognize the place, a cloth gag stuffed in your mouth. Your clothes were somewhere to your side, you seemed relatively unharmed. Tight knots secured your limbs, rendering any attempt at escape futile. The groggy thud of your head made it hard for your eyes to stay open, and the cheering of the goblins didn't help. The sleeping roll under you pressed against your aching limbs, it was cheap with no cushion to it. Quiet chatter between a man and a woman passed through the tent's folds. The talk was short, you could make anything out. The sharp ringing in your ears hadn't subsided.

The tent's fabric abruptly got yanked open to reveal the same man from earlier. Adonis didn't miss the way your tail flicked nervously or how your eyes darted around. "Relax darlin' I ain't 'ere to hurt you, yet," a faint chuckle leaves him as he says that. "Thought I deserved a lil' treat." The hat settled onto the surface with a gentle thud. "And I must say, you look like quite the treat. Not usually my type but better than the ugly muck of goblins out there," he was on you by that point. The leather gloves he was wearing were now discarded on the side by the hat. Scared hands run over curves and dip of your body. His body shivered when his fingertips ran over the ridges of your skin. They run down until reaching your tail, wasting no time grabbing it in a harsh grip.

Instinctively your tail coils around his forearm like a snake. An amused smirk suggested that he found the action rather entertaining. Leaning down he places rough kisses along your body. Starting at your jaw until he gets down between your thighs. The half-elf spread apart your thighs, his nose digging between your folds. Hot wet tongue lapping at the sweetness dripping down. Letting his teeth scrape against your sensitive bud. A muffled cry leaves your lips, your body trying to shuffle away fruitlessly. He pulls back a little, thumb swiping across his bottom lip with a hum. "Damn doll, you sweeter than any pie I ever tasted. Lemme get another taste," he snorted before diving back in with the addition of his fingers. One finger probes at your entrance before sliding in, he pumps it in and out for a bit before adding another in. While his fingers work on your cunt his lips roughly suck at your clit.

Tears streak down your face as Adonis keeps working on your cunt. You could hardly feel your numbing thighs quivering as that coil in you started to tighten. Though, your pleasure got cut off when the half-elf pulled back with a shit-eating grin. "Names Adonis, by the way," he impishly said. "Now, now. Stop yer pretty lil' crying. The fun hasn't even started yet," the hand that was holding your thigh unbuttons his pants. His erection is already swollen and throbbing.

[renn-aissance]

Mom Plays BG3: Ep.6 - “It’s a Woof.”

It’s been a while! Work/School/Life… yeah.

Anyway! It’s a long one today, boys.

(So a little recap of what’s kinda going on with her character! She’s been going back and forth between the Goblin Camp and the Blighted Village. So, she went and talked to Priestess Gut, but when she tried to kill her in her office an entire fight broke out so she got overwhelmed and reloaded lol. So instead she explored more, killed Minthy, talked to Halsin, and used the Waypoint to get back to the village.)

Rundown:

Shart had mentioned Shar and my mom was like “I don’t have anything against Shar worshippers if that’s what you were afraid of.”

After that she asked me if Shar was evil.

Me: “Well… I mean I guess that kind of depends on how you see her? I guess? She’s like a goddess of pain and darkness.”

Mom: “Well that doesn’t sound good. Why does she follow her?”

Me: “You told her you were cool with it.”

Mom: “I was ignorant.”

I had been WAITING for her to go to the well and she finally clicked on it.

Sees she gets an advantage as a ranger on a nature check.

Mom: “I’m a ranger! I’ve got this! Oh god please let me got this…”

Me: *starts laughing when she chooses an intelligence check to investigate.*

Mom: “WHAT. My -1 intelligence!?”

Goes down the rope

PISSES ME OFF BECAUSE SHE TOTALLY ANNIHILATED ALL OF THE FUCKING SPIDERS WHEN IT TOOK ME SO MANY RELOADS THE FIRST TIME. AND NOT ONLY THAT- THE BIG ASS SPIDER DIDN’T EVEN HATCH THE BABY ONES!!

Then Lae’zel wants to talk 🙂

This is where I’m like “okay she’s gonna be like ‘what the hell kinda games are you playing.’”

Lae’zel: “I want to taste you.”

Mom: “Uh… okay.” (Clicks no thanks.)

Queen of gently letting someone down.

Whenever the characters climb onto crates she’s like “PARKOUR!”

Clicked on a body with money.

Mom: “Yayyy! I haven’t seen money in a while.”

Me: “Same.”

She went to the windmill, guys. I was so fucking excited.

Also she keeps using the brain worm even though she doesn’t trust it lol

Went to save Barcus and was looking around the windmill. I made her do a save real quick when I saw her heading to the levers.

LAUNCHES BARCUS INTO THE FUCKING SUN.

Mom: (First, horror. Then, losing her mind) “I guess I wound up teaching him how to fly better than that other guy.”

Mom: (reloads lol)

Goes back to the Goblin Camp and talks to those goblin kids. They tell her to kick the corpse and she cracks up that she has the option to. She kicks the corpse.

Talks to Crusher and tells him he should kiss her feet. She has ZERO charisma btw. And she needs to roll a 15.

Mom: (Weighing her options.)

Me: “You don’t have any rizz.”

Mom: “I know… I GOTTA DO IT!”

ROLLS A 16

Mom: “YEAAAH!”

Crusher kisses her feet.

Mom: “He didn’t even let me take off my shoes first.”

All of the goblins just like “ew Crusher licked toes!”

She explores some more and kind of makes a circle back to where she started.

Mom: “Oh yeah, I remember this. Yeah, they’re all really mean and they’re drunk.”

She ends up going back inside and killing Gut and those goblins. She picks up the tadpole and has that option to resist it and does resist it because she still doesn’t trust the Dream Visitor.

Astarion tells her that he would be more than happy to take it off her hands.

Mom: (turns to me, whispering like he can hear her) “You know I actually wouldn’t mind if he took it.”

IT HAPPENED. ASTARION TRIED TO BITE HER IN HER SLEEP.

Astarion: “Shit.”

Mom: *Laughing like crazy. Chooses the options that are like ‘why did you lie to me, I can’t believe it. Ultimately lets him drink from her. Stops him after the first round.*

Astarion: (FERAL) “That was amazing… [blah blah blah] I thought you might turn up with torches and pitchforks… though it looks like there might still be time.”

Shadowheart: “So he’s a vampire? I should have known judging from his pallor.”

Mom: “Did you not see his fangs this whole time?”

Goes to talk to Astarion after.

Mom: “Tell me about your history.”

Astarion: “Why do you insist on exhuming the past!?”

Mom: “Hey. Take it easy.”

After leaving camp, Shart has something to say.

Shart: “There’s… something that I would like to share with you…”

Mom: “What’s with all these secrets?!”

Shart: “I want to show you something.”

Mom: “I don’t like using the parasite.” (Still let’s Sharty bae into her brain.)

It’s the memory of Shart in the woods and she sees a wolf. We had just finished watching New Girl.

Mom:

Mom: “Her hair… was this her in her anime phase?”

She goes back to the Goblin Camp to take out Dror Ragzlin. She got a little stressed out during that fight lol.

Mom: (clicks on Gale’s quaterstaff) “Will this DO anything?? I don’t know, this guy’s pretty weak.”

Mom: “HOW DO YOU MISS! YOU’RE SO CLOSE!”

Me: “I mean… it tells you when you’re too close-“

Mom: “But why do I have a disadvantage? I CAN SEE HIM.”

(Enemy goes after Wyll)

Mom: “Get away from him!”

Me: “Yeah! Get away from her boyfriend!”

Mom: “YEAH!”

She beat all of them and then went to the prison to talk to Halsin. She passes by a rat.

Mom: “A rat! Astarion, your friend!”

Me: 😀

All in all was a pretty good chunk of playtime. For one of the play throughs we didn’t even set a timer and played til like midnight. She comes over and she’s like “are we gonna play tonight :D” and bought hot Cheetos because, and I quote, “we’re gamers.”

Oh, also she met Auntie Ethel, idr if I mentioned that before, but she hasn’t gone to save Mayrina yet. She started that quest but after Ethel went into her little cave my mom went straight back to the Goblin camp. Her reaction to Ethel’s real form was “ew.”

[welldrawnfish]

Okay... before this starts I apologize for both length and possible butchering of your art. I am not good at this, but your stuff wants to make me try it out. With that, here it goes:

Twig was walking through the brush, looking for stuff to throw in the pile. She thought over what Fish Guts said, “Anything pink good for food pot. Is usually soft and nummy”. She was searching for mushrooms or the occasional stray tongue. She walked through a bush when she saw them

Three humans, two facing away from her and bending over a map but one was facing her. It was a man wearing a breastplate and wielding a sword. His eyes fell on Twig, widening in surprise, before a look of recognition crossed his face.

Twig dashed off into the brush before the knight had a chance to react, running to get away from the group and trying not to lead them to the rest of the Goblins. After a few minutes, she was hiding behind a tree next to a pond, listening to hear if she was being followed. She breathed a sigh of relief and a gloved hand grabbed her shoulder. “Hey- “

Twig shrieked and jumped into the pond, swimming to the bottom. The figure walked to the edge and started speaking to her. “Whoa, Whoa, easy. I’m not going to hurt you.” When she didn’t surface, he continued, “I know you weren’t born a Goblin. I know how to change you back”.

At his last statement, her ears perked up. She’d been looking for ages, and here the solution comes walking into her forest. She surfaces and eyes him suspiciously. He has black hair and an easy smile. He sits down with his back to the tree and indicated for her to do the same. She slunk out of the lake and took a seat across from him. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I’ve been hired by the two biologists I’ve left behind to guide them here from when I was pint-sized and green. Scare off the bigger critters. Didn’t expect to see someone in the same predicament I was.”

“How do you know about that?”

“Uhh... Sixth sense I guess? I just look at you and see myself. I’m guessing it wasn’t just your nose and propensity for breathing water that’s changed, Huh?”

Twig scowled at him. She didn’t like being read like this.

“Look, I know that this is weird, but the damage can be undone. When you go into town, ask for Larin at The Drunken Fish. Oh, and bring this with you,” he said, bringing out a parchment with a runic symbol on it.

He got up and started walking away. “Wait,” Twig cried after him,”what if I don’t...”

He stopped and smiled back. “Let’s just say, you get to choose what you keep. This thing has a funny way of choosing the right type of people.” With that, he started walking back.

Twig took a last look at the parchment, and started running back to Fish Guts before they start to get worried. She was worried and excited, waiting to see what the future held

Any critiques and suggestions would be sincerely appreciated. Thank you and Good Night (or whatever time it is by you)

Are you kidding me!! You didnt butcher anything!!!

You know how amazing it is to feel like your work has birthed so many people being so creative its like, HOLY COW.

The story isnt even out yet and look how much twig has resonated with people, i love this! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!

like you have NO idea omg

thank you so much this is so fun this si so good i cant believe people love twig that much to be writing fanfics!! it makes me want to share everything ive created and readied but if i do that then there will be nothing for the comic to surprise ya'll with!!

[bogkeep]

You mentioned reading Heavenly Tyrant and I'm 3/5ths of the way through it (little past The Kiss) and wanted to ask your thoughts on it. As a lover of worldbuilding and magic systems, I adore how much more in-depth we're getting on the qí + spirit metal system, along with the absolute messiness of all the relationships between characters.

Also can I ask what the goblin emperor is about? I always want more cool fantasy books (I know I could look it up but more fun to ask)

first of all thank you for asking about my opinion on heavenly tyrant. heavenly tyrant is SO much fun. what i like about the iron widow series is that while it exists in a genre filled with Metaphors for existing structural oppressions, this series pulls no punches and is extremely explicit. it is so absolutely delightful to me that heavenly tyrant is just straight up about a communist revolution. qin zheng wakes up like what do you mean you don't live in a communist utopia. what have you done with my POLICIES. grab my hammer and sickle scythe NOW.

also qin zheng sucks soooo much he has some serious issues with women. xiran jay zhao wasn't kidding, that relationship dynamic can toxic (COMPLIMENTARY). like i think it takes guts to write a book like this, which really digs into revolution and the intersections of workers' and women's rights like this in such a messy and difficult way, and having characters who work together and against one another at the same time...!

there's also something about the writing style for this series which i have been struggling to put my finger on, which is very, fast-paced and really cut to the bone, and i know some of it is because of publishing restraints for length, and it's also Not a Bad Thing! i think what i concluded is that it's because it's extremely upfront about Zetian's thoughts and feelings, like even for a first person present tense perspective, we get her immediate assessment right then and there without burying them under any layers, and i think it works because she is being thrust into such a cruel, overwhelming world and has to be quick in her judgements, which also change multiple times over the story.

also. i have a tiny little headcanon. about transfem li shimin. something about long haired camera shy li shimin in the past... since the books are dipping their toes into Transgender Thoughts... maybe...............

also also second tiny headcanon about yizhi using his pretty boy powers to charm qin zheng. i spent the first third of the book convinced qin zheng was gay and that's why he was so disgusted by zetian.

Anyway Those Are My Heavenly Tyrant Thoughts That Are Hopefully Not Spoilers To You

the goblin emperor is a fantasy court intrigue about maia drazhar, the fourth and unwanted half-goblin son of the late elven emperor, suddenly and unexpectedly having to take the throne after an airship accident kills the emperor and all his elder sons. in this universe goblins aren't so very different from elves except for their dark skin, something maia has inherited and is making him stand out at court. he has also spent most of his life at a backwater hunting lodge with his abusive cousin, and is extremely out of place when he moves to the capital.

it's mostly a story about a very gentle soul having to find his place within the often hostile court environment, navigate a society that does not think kindly of him, politics and conspiracy theories, and yearning for friendship and closeness within the cage of his new status. if you like worldbuilding i am so pleased to announce that the book opens with a pronounciation & etiquette guide for the world which definitely sold me on the book very quick! (please read the goblin emperor)

[hyperfixationwrtings]

A Guildford Heir

💓Jane finds out she’s pregnant💓

(narrator in italic font)

Jane and Guildford found a nearby market on their way back to London.

Now.. where were we?

Jane staggers and grasps at a nearby basket and proceeds to vomit her guts out.

Oh, yes….I guess right here. Viewer, if you will excuse me. I must find my own basket to purge myself in.

She leans up and lets out a deep sigh. Guildford rubs his hand across his wife's back and asks, "My darling, are you okay?" "Yes! I'm fine. Probably just my nerves from all of my near-death experiences these past few weeks." "Well...alright then," he simply replied. Jane looked up at the peddler whose basket she had purged in. "Excuse me, sir, do you know if anyone around here sells fennel or perhaps....wormwood?" The peddler scrunched his face and loudly stated, "DO I KNOW ANYONE...I KNOW YOUVE JUST RUINED MY RIPEST PLUMS OF THE SEASON!!!" Jane scowled back and reacted with the same demeanor "AS IF I MEANT TO PURGE MY GUTS OUT IN YOUR PRECIOUS PLUMS!!” The peddler pulled out a dull shiv from his pocket and Jane retaliated by pulling out her much sharper dagger from under her smock. Guildford let out a heavy sigh and stepped in between them. “Alright Alright. Thats enough. Here.” Guildford digs deep into his pant pocket, pulls out two shillings, and throws them at the man. He pulls his wife away from the quarrel as she rolls her eyes. “Come on, Jane. We’re trying not to sully your great name.” Jane looks up at him, her face still quite green, but before she can speak, she leans back down and empties her stomach again. This time on his boots. He jumps this time, almost about to puke himself. After a few moments, she looks up at him again, and says “Oh I’m sure the fact that everyone knows I’m married to a horse sullied it already.” Guildford rolls his eyes now and smirks. “Admit it. You know you like it,” he says sensually into her ear. Jane doesn’t respond and starts walking away from her husband up to the next booth. “Excuse me madam? Does anyone around here sell any fennel, wormwood, or even peppermint?” The woman nodded towards a little boy lying on the ground at the corner of the market. He was fast asleep. “Boy’s name is Eddie. You’ll want to talk to him.” Jane nodded and thanked the woman. She looked over to see that Guildford had already made his way over to the boy and was kicking at his feet. “Hey, wake up. Kid, wake up.” Jane went over and pulled at his arm. “Really, Guildford?” “What? You’re sick!”, he replied. “We don’t know that for sure, yet.” Jane’s mind flickered back to her previous studies in herbology. What all conditions did these herbs aid? She thought of one possibility but just as soon as it came to her, she pushed it away. She leaned down to the boy’s, supposedly name Eddie, level and shook him awake. “Hey. Eddie, right? We need your help. We heard you had some medicine.” The boy perked up at the sound of her last word and said “Why! Yes miss! Name’s Eddie! Follow me!”

Jane and Guildford had followed Eddie down an alleyway which led to pair of stairs that eclipsed the light of the late day.

Our heroes have just escaped their concurrent executions but now were they about to suffer at the hands of this goblin? Or as you viewers call him, a ten year old boy?

Eddie led them to a wooden door with the name “Blackwell” etched into the center with the work of a knife. Eddie pulls out a copper key from his sock and unlocks the door. He looks back at Jane and Guildford. “Mother can help you” and smiled before yelling into the room. “MOTHER A CLIENT IS HERE!!” A middle aged woman walked around the corner into the room. “A CLIENT?! OH GOOD DAY!! GOOD DAY!!” The woman wiped some substance off on her apron. It was a thickened fluid looking similar to syrup or maybe dew?? Jane thought to herself. “Hi. I was told you had some herbs to help relieve my stomach?” “Yes, my dear! Follow me!” She guided Jane to the back room with Guildford following behind. The woman turned around to face him “Patients only. I’m afraid, sir.” and she shut the door in his face.

“Alright. We need our privacy.” , the woman said sweetly and motioned for Jane to sit on the metal table placed in the middle of the room. Jane walked over as she examined the room. The room was surrounded by shelves upon shelves of various vials and jars full of liquids and creams that Jane wasn’t sure she recognized. Before Jane could introduce herself, the woman shoved Jane back on the cold surface and started massaging around her abdomen. “Uh.. um…I thought you said you were going to give me herbs for my stomach pain…”, Jane said. “Yes, yes….after I examine you first”, the woman replied. “Now does it hurt when I do this?”, the woman placed a hand on Jane’s breast and lightly pressed down. “Ouch…yes!!”, Jane said, annoyingly. “Can I get some fennel or peppermint to chew on?”, Jane roughly asked. The woman ignored her and asked “When was the last time you had your course?” as she tried peeking under Jane’s dress. “Hey!”, Jane yelped as she put her knees together. The woman whispered to herself, “hm no black of red spotting either…”

Jane had no idea what this strange woman meant by ‘course.’ That was until the woman mentioned the word…….‘red.’

“My monthly? That was like….five weeks ago,” Jane said to the woman. The woman simply nodded. This moment of silence gave Jane the opportunity to speak up. “What was all this about? I came here for medicine!! Not to be violated!! Who are you?! I don’t even know your name!! I’m Jan-

“With child,” the woman stated, softly. “The name’s Alba. I study the female reproductive system. My husband thinks my hobby is too disgusting but I find it rather intriguing. You, my dear, have all the signs for pregnancy” “WHAT?!!”, Jane yelled. “Don’t say ‘What’ say ‘Pardon’, Alba responded. Jane’s mouth dropped open. “We haven’t even had the time to-..”

Jane immediately recalled the night Guildford had climbed up to her locked room and initiated some rather vigorous hanky panky or….horseplay if you will.

“You have to be kidding me”, Jane stated. At that moment, Guildford busted down the door. “Jane!!”, he said, running towards her. “Is everything okay?” Jane looked up at him. “Guildford….we….”, she mumbled low. “Yes?”, he replied, cupping his hands around her face. “We have another obstacle in our path”, she said to him as she smiled just a little.

Guildford had had any many ‘pregnancy scares’ in his ravishing ‘bachelor’ lifestyle but now he had a wife. He had Jane.

“Oh”, Guildford replied. “That kind of obstacle,” he half laughed. He looked down at her belly and placed a hand where her bellybutton was. A single tear left his eye. “An heir to the Guildford name then?” Jane nodded and smiled again. Also starting to tear up. He smiled back at her and knelt down and kissed her belly. “Welcome to the revolution, little one.”

LET ME KNOW IF YOU LIKE THIS AND WANT MORE 😬😬

[zoloteh-volossya]

I love your reblog on that Astarion post! What do you think is the best way to recruit Minthara while aiming for a more positive outcome for her? Personally, my favorite approach is "accidentally" destroying the grove by stealing the idol and then reluctantly aligning with Minthara. It feels like the character is acting out of confusion or desperation, not malice. This way, you still get that pivotal moment where she feels safe with your character and begins to break free from the Absolute. (and when you rescue her later she still hoped you would save her)

I'm basic - I personally prefer the knockout method. It's a pity that you miss the discussion after the sex scene and the romanced version of the conversation at Moonrise - it was a gifset of that conversation (see my pinned post) that grabbed me by the heart and dragged me into this fandom, after all.

But to me, it's important that Minthara isn't special. Her life isn't worth more than Alfira's or Dammon's or Mol's, ultimately. I personally care about her more, am more invested in her character, but struggle to justify the deaths of the refugees in the stories I want to tell. It's a different story, the act 1 scene, but to me the meat of the Minthmance happens once she gets her mind back so it's an acceptable loss.

(Of course, in my personal Mintharamance playthrough, I did commit Grovicide. My Dark Urge Krov was largely uninterested in getting involved in other people’s business, so I engineered the Worst Possible Grove Visit. She entered the grove, got robbed, didn’t step up for Arabella so she died, got poisoned by (then killed) Nettie, got arrested for trespassing in the kids’ hideout to get her stuff back, broke out, talked to Sazza and freed her, got the hell out of town, and then ended up murdering Alfira that night anyway. When Minthy told her to help raid it she was like, might as well, fuck that place, the only person I liked there is already dead by my hand.)

I think that triggering the Grove's violence via following Mol's request makes a lot of sense! It's definitely the way I'd go in a fic if I were writing a scenario where Tav/Durge romances Minthara in act 1.

In my fic ideas, I 'justify' the nonsense knockout option in different ways.

With my good bard Tav, she infiltrates the goblin camp for several days, slowly pitting Dror Razglin against Minthara (using Gut's death to stoke tensions between them). She was hoping to have the two sides fight it out and then have her team sweep in and clean up the survivors. However, all the goblins side with Dror. So then she just focuses on buffing and healing Minthara, figuring that the more goblins she kills the fewer the Tadfools will need to deal with. To her surprise, Minthara both wins and is genuinely grateful, tending to Tav's own wounds. In return for this unexpected kindness, she helps Minthara escape when 'adventurers' attack the camp, promising to distract them and then meet up with her at Moonrise later. (This fic idea began before the knockout method was added to the game, so you can tell I've been on my bullshit for a while.)

With my neutral ranger Tav, she doesn't infiltrate the camp at all. She sneaks into the camp via the other bridge, gets to high ground, and starts an outright assault. By the time Minthara is informed that the camp is under attack, everyone outside the shattered sanctum is dead. The bulk of the battle happens in the throne room, with all of the goblins and True Souls mounting a desperate defense against a two-pronged attack by Team Tadpole. They lose, but Minthara is able to overwhelm my Tav (mechanically much weaker than her) and make an escape, and the team is too exhausted to give chase.

Both of these have a very different dynamic with Minthy than a Tav/Durge who romanced her in act 1, of course. With my bard Tav, there's a preexisting connection, but also a betrayal - Minthara was used by this person, unknowingly danced on her strings. Regaining trust after that is a key plot point. With my ranger Tav, the arc is more one of coming to trust a former enemy (and dealing with the repercussions of becoming a drider, but that's unrelated.)

Thanks for the ask! That was... a very long answer. Hope you enjoyed it, at least.

[bronzeandsage]

DWC 2024 - Day 2 - Deceit/Eternal

The flames are getting closer and the wood under him is getting softer as he lays still. Why was he dead yet? Does it really take this long to bleed out? He should know. He's watched enough people do it. He shouldn't be any different.

Penance. That's what Cal would call it. Stupid humie priest. Poor stupid humie priest. The kid didn't deserve that.

None of them did.

Well maybe he did.

He'd done enough bad to merit this slow end. There was no justifying swift knives or turned screws. It had been just business and his business had always been bad. From the old home to the new homes and beyond. He should have listened to Jae. Or Beil.

Or Elras.

The smoke was growing thicker as his fingers brushed against the black floorboards, the bits of wood sloughing off like clay. The sticky blood was just like the soot on his fingertips. Black. Inky. Awful. Moving.

His vision blinked slowly as he looked at the fingers and the shifting sands between.

Sand?

@daily-writing-challenge

Durotar.

It'd been dream when he'd first heard about it and now it was a practically a metropolis and monument to the old ways of his people. Sev hated it so much.

He should be grateful for a safe haven for his kind, a place to grow and seek out the old ways in an act of redemption. A pretty fairy tale for those who'd never grown up in the pig farms or scrapping iron from the mountains or being fed to a gronn for fun. No one talked about the peons, the dirty secret of the 'Horde'. Old or new, shit still rolled down hill and there they'd be shoveling it.

Never be slaves again? Fuck that.

Sevlaz walked the desert streets of the city, the red dirt stamped hard from the countless feet that crossed the city over and over. His red eyes scanning the crowd here and there, noting the red armored grunts thumping their chests. He offered a thump of his own as he walked by, doing his best to strike a noble face.

"For the Horde, brother," the orc grunt growled as he stood a bit straighter. Sev just gave another thump, doing his best not to look the soldier in the eye. It made his insides twist to bad memories that were souring his good day faster than he wanted. Deceit was appropriate for the enemy, it was even more necessary in the face of your 'family'.

A cart would roll by with some deaders driving it, the smell of dead herbs and roses trailing them as they gave the glowering dim stare to those that crossed. The survivor was happy to step aside to let them pass. The grey skinned creature would nod indifferently to Sev before they urged the kodo on down the row toward the Valley. Best to give it extra breadth, the last thing he needed was to step in a surprise from the beast. Least he hoped it was from the pack animal.

Propping himself up against the stone wall a moment, his leg would lift to give his knee a short respite as he scanned the crowd wandering the streets tonight. Orcs. Tauren. Trolls. Dead. It made sense for those four groups to be on the streets of the city as he recalled from back in the day. Hell even the goblins as much as people might frown at their motives still tolerated their place among the Horde. Sev was fairly grateful to them for the ability just to walk the streets, maybe he should take trip down to Rachet or even Gadgetzen. Long one, but what else did he have going for him? Coren probably be glad to see him doing something other than wallowing about the city.

Best to stick it out here. No more heroes.

Grunting a chortle at his own joke, Sev would ease back onto his leg and start walking again. It didn't bother him as much with the brace, but it still was taking quite a bit of getting used to. Finnick had said it would take practice and patience. He wished he was more abundant in either of those things. The eternal struggle of the thief.

An angry gurgle broke his reverie.

"Yeah yeah," as he reached down to rub at his gut before stalking up the hill. The cacophony of the market of the Valley of Strength was like a low rumbling storm of voices. Voices that he could sometimes hardly believe were here in the desert kingdom. Dwarves and elves fighting alongside the orcs was a very strange turn of events.

His ugly ruined face would turn to follow a pair of lightly armored elven women walk by as they spoke with their colorful and musical voices. Red curls, bright green and blue eyes with the gait of a panther and the soft curves to match. He offered a slight tip of his head as they walked by, neither giving him much notice. He watched them disappear among the crowd and shook his head with the stretched smile on his face.

Strange but pleasant sights.

"Hey there half grin!" A piping voice broke him of his stare as he turned toward the mass of merchants, stalls, and vendors that congregated within the mighty valley. He'd recognize it, but wasn't sure how happy he'd be to see the owner again.

With a snort Sev would cross the final stretch into the Valley of Strength and sidle up to the familiar food cart of his new acquaintance.

Friend was too strong a word for Erik.

[dinthoqaf]

An unexpected passenger

Candlelight burns steady, unflickering in its existence as Dinthoqaf sits at his desk, writing out a sum of scrolls and messages meant to be sent to those connected to The Sanctum but not attached via the Sanguine. There were so many people to reach out to to see how things were progressing routinely, or rather, weren’t progressing in various regions of the world, and to make sure the efforts of The Sanctum were kept out of the public eye. The signal from the Mages Tower was going to be problematic but it wasn’t anything he wasn’t prepared for and all in all, The Nameless and those within the Sanguine did their jobs finer than he could have hoped. Now it was the time of The Nameless to do what they did best, take on an unassuming role. Hearthglen was to be seeded and repopulated, filled by those who were his faithful, those who sacrificed themselves to make this vision a possibility, this was a calculated risk and plans were already in place as a bunch of remnant scourge and rot-infused gnoll corpses were amassed and put into burning piles outside of the gates of Hearthglen with the soldiers killed buried at the bottom of the pits to keep wandering eyes from doing much digging. His forces, no, the survivors would claim it was a rogue band of Scourge-infested Gnolls that dug their way through the mountainside and were caught off guard, resulting in casualties and a singular mage who’d grown panicked that set off the alarm spell. That mage had been dealt with and summarily executed militarily for leading the panic that caused even more deaths and distress. No loose ties. Dinthoqaf stops and squeezes at the bridge of his nose, humming as the hours are late. Zalilirah and the kids had already gone to bed and the majority of the other caretakers were now gone or sleeping. These were the hours Din got most of his tedious work done, when the rest of the world slept, he had strings to pull. Mundane affairs that so many overlooked and ignored due to the lack of excitement they provided. Come the morrow, other affairs would need to be attended to. Skormosh’s wounds, if he hadn’t had them attended to yet, Larkspur's new body needed to be tended to as well and prepped for the ritualistic exchange and a myriad of other tasks in checking the health and mental status of people who remained and survived the assault. The push had caused some to leave the fold as well, not a genuine surprise as Din knew some paid more heed to the coin or attachments until they realized the weight of his vision was too much to bear and could not stand to support it. Chaff from the Wheat, my dear Defiler. Dinthoqaf told himse–... He stopped, freezing. A thought that he would have, yes, but… this wasn’t his and his blood ran cold. No. No. He was tired, a mental trick of the exhaustion in leading so many via the Sanguine and continuing despite the fact rest was always required when working in such a way. It’s a beautiful thing you know, reunions, and ours has been such a long time in the coming. His vision swam and where there was once light cast upon the walls dark tendrils of shadow moved where they should have held no purchase. The corners of his vision moved and he could feel his heart begin to pound and beat, his quill drop and fall with the echo of a tree in the forest. His senses flared and his palms began to sweat as breathing became near impossible. “I killed you. I ripped you out and that god damned goblin and his crew killed you. I left you buried.” Yes, you did… but your Father on the other hand… The revelation hit him like a well-timed punch in the gut. How did he miss it? How did he overlook it? Now you realize it, don’t you? How quiet I have sat, watching you and waiting, growing with you and the deliciousness of the blood you took into your veins. Oh, my sweet Defiler, you and I are so far from done with one another.

A wet squelching noise occurs as something starts to move beneath the surface of his flesh and this was not of his will, but of its own. The sensation started at his heart, in his chest and started to move to his limbs and up into his neck and even crawling around in his mind and skull. His head shot back and his mouth opened to scream as his nerves light with pain. No sound comes, no air moves, and his muscles flex and contract, doing everything they can to release some sign of the torment he had. The Sanguine; unable to be used entirely but keeps him connected. His mouth opens wider and the stranglehold on his throat yet refuses to leave even when the corners of his mouth begin to split, causing tendons to shred, and flesh to become ribbons as a clear divide comes to run back towards the hinges of his jaw at each side. You thought your success was yours and yours alone? My dear boy, you and I are connected now and forever… Finally, a scream erupted from within. Dinthoqaf springs upward, hands gripping madly at himself. Birds outside chirped, it was late today and Zalilirah must have been off with the kids or doing something else. His breathing aches, his throat hurts, and a hand comes to run up his face… sticky. His movements turn sluggish as he pulls the hand away to inspect it for sweat. It wasn’t. No, blood was the reasoning and his hands came back, both of them to find tidy, neat lines that ran from the corners of his mouth back backward along his cheeks. There wasn’t going to be any hiding this, not for long anyway, especially from Zalilirah or from the ever-prodding Varethuun. Word was going to get out quickly that he was changing, but first thing first.

A disciple comes into the room, head ducked low as if called. “Burn the bedding and mattress. Replace it all, now.” Dinthoqaf spoke, standing up from the bed with blood that ran down the entirety of his nude front. “Prepare a bath.” “I-We, have work to do.” Somewhere in the back of his mind he could feel it, hear it. A peal of laughter that had once been long gone and buried had returned to him once again, merging with him in every way now in a far better creation than his last mangled form had allowed for it to be. Maybe… maybe it was time for a change. Maybe The Defiler was growing into something… more.

[dateamonster]

also the fact that the distinguishing features betwix the elves and fairies (besides from wings) is the fact that all the fairies are like. White and skinny to midsize old guy and the elves are like. That’s a person you’d see on the street

yeah they really used character design for evil in this one because like in isolation i think theres soo much to love about strange magics designs. i know the vaguely uncanny valley nature of the models is going to be a dealbreaker for a lot of people but ! their little clothes made out of plants and scraps of fabric and lost buttons and insect parts! sunnys ladybug hat! the way everyones hair is so Shaped in a way that suggests a stiffer fibrous texture! all the little details that make inherently unnatural fantastical creatures feel completely at home in a natural environment!

and tbh part of me still loves the definitely uncanny almost skeletally skinny base model for the fairies. that and theyre big eyes really do give them a very eerie insectoid look that i wish theyd had the guts to lean into more lol. and the contrast between the fairies who are characterized by these long thin bodies and sweeping elegant movements vs the elves who are all round and blunt and blocky shapes with this sorta low center of gravity that places them more firmly on the ground vs the wild diversity of shapes and sizes when it comes to the goblins like very clearly identifies who everyone is in this world and how they kinda relate to each other, and i maintain that a lot of the uncomfortableness that comes with how this world is laid out couldve been alleviated by just. making some of the fucking fairies brown.

like its not as if its especially unique for this brand of kids fantasy movie to have a visible class divide thats never examined, or use conventional beauty standards as a visual cue for importance if not morality. the main reason imo it feels so glaring here is specifically because all the fairies we see are very white and even aside from one of the only elves we really spend any time with being black a lot of the elves features in general read as more racialized.

and i dont think this was necessarily intentional. high fantasy in general has a consistent and historical problem with favoring whiteness, thinness, and eurocentricism. if anything, i think this is just what happens when you make something built on those existing sorta tropes and dynamics without putting any thought into what they represent.

[arisenreborn]

Ways Emrys Will Sabotage Asshole Arisen:

Are you an asshole Arisen who spits on the poor and needy, throws their Pawns down chasms for them to catch you, and steals candy from kids? Then this informative guide of what to watch out for might be for you!

Now, Emrys isn't actually inclined towards killing most Arisen himself (usually). I like to think there's something intrinsic to being a Pawn that makes that very hard to do, which only adds to his hatred towards Arisen.

He will however find ways to make the lives of Asshole Arisen difficult. And in the cases of extremely shitty Arisen, he does start to flex a bit of that tiny will of his to... try to end their lives. :') Here's a non-comprehensive list of just some of the ways Emrys will be A Little Shit.

Logistician? Starting out Emrys will be a very good and helpful pawn, always organizing packs and making sure weight is evenly distributed. However he will later start sneaking rotten meat into an unsuspecting Arisen's pack, making them Target #1 for wargs and wolves. (Emrys, holding his hand over his eyes watching the Arisen get carried away by wolves "Look at 'em go...")

Chirurgeon? Especially in the event there are no healers or chirurgeons, he will claim to have some familiarity with such matters, enough that you can rely on him. Yes, give him all of your potions... And he will effectively make use of them! At first. He will also discreetly be pouring a portion of them out, chalking it up to 'that one taxing battle'. And then, just when the Arisen needs it most... 🤷‍♂️

Enemy of my enemy... Sometimes the quickest way to deal with an Arisen is simply to whisper word to one of the guards. Whether it's just getting rid of them for a few hours, days, or forevermore, well that depends on the weight of your crimes, doesn't it Arisen?

May accidentally fire an arrow into a nearby saurian nest, or tip off nearby goblins when in the midst of an already taxing battle.

Valuable items disappearing? A loyal pawn would never! (He's also out there picking up wakestone shards on the sly, not informing the Arisen when they're fully assembled, and using them on poor random souls on the side of the road.)

Negligence. Who would blame a simple pawn for being a little distracted now and again? He was just going to gather some herbs, for the Arisen's sake, how was he to know the Arisen was walking into an ambush? How was he to hear the Arisen's call for aid over the din of battle - he's a pawn he would have responded had he heard of course!

Similarly, he will sometimes fail to guide an Arisen who has ticked him off even if he's the only one who knows what to do next.

When opportunity knocks, accidents happen! So there was a truly difficult battle, everyone is scattered, and it's just the Arisen and Emrys for the moment. But it's all right, he's great at reading the lay of the land and is certain he knows where the others are, just follow him, Arisen! ...*

Rare. If they've caught him with actual, more-severe-than-his-norm dragonsplague symptoms, he may just straight up kill the Arisen. If he's already moody and irritable, and the Arisen is showing their own signs of being a dick, he may just pull out his hunting daggers and gut a bitch. He may just snipe them in the middle of a fight. (He may even go a bit dragon-mode, but that's for a different post I think.) It goes without saying that sometimes this results in him dying and effectively being dismissed, but them's the breaks.

As with the above, but in even rarer cases, the Arisen might not even have to be an asshole! If the plague symptoms are bad enough, just by being the Arisen and calling upon him, all they have to do is irritate him a little more - which can be a hair trigger. Again, extremely rare, but it has happened a time or two.

It's worth noting he's been at this a while, he knows not to overplay his hand, and will typically only do these things if he can go undetected/get away with it. He waits, watches, and maintains the image of a good pawn most of the time.

If an Arisen is truly abusive towards other Pawns, he'll generally use one of several strategies to get their attention on him instead, be it 'being a bit of a dumb/ass' to 'outright seducing them' or anything in between. Anything but getting himself dismissed sooner, less he be unable to do anything to help the others.

*I have the very specific scene in my head of Emrys leading a battle-weary Arisen over a ledge, and that Arisen bleeding out at the bottom of a cliff. They reach out towards him and he just slowly crouches down, covering their mouth so they cannot issue any orders, waiting until they succumb to their wounds.

Alternatively, if he's feeling a bit more rebellious (the longplague is acting up, there's no way he'll obey commands) he just watches and listens to their feeble pleas for help as he pours a potion out and drinks in the sight of dread realization filling their eyes. 😌

[cheetour]

it's time. bg3 high school AU

Baldur's Gate Community School is a rundown secondary school and all of the party are down on their luck teachers. Tav is the vice principal

The school's board of management consists of: Ketheric Thorm, Orin the Red, Enver Gortash, and the Absolute (head of the board). Yes the Absolute is still [SPOILERS]. it's completely unchanged. except for being the head of the board of management

(and Minthara, who's the head of the parent teacher association)

Gale is an ineffictive English teacher who is now living in an apartment after his toxic ex-wife kicked him and the cat out. used to work in the very high end, private Waterdeep Academy but Mystra got him fired. was spotted scrolling grindr during a study class

Astarion hasn't been seen turning up to teach his scheduled history classes since the early 2000s. they don't have the resources to stop him. Mol (a student) is blackmailing him and every Tuesday we meets her behind the bicycle shed and hands her a tenner. nobody knows what she's blackmailing him for but he gets VERY annoyed if you ask about it

Wyll and Karlach teach drama and PE respectively and play squash together every weekend. unclear if they're romantically involved or not. they might be married. someone asked Wyll once and he said 'we're family, but not legally' which answered nothing

I think it would be funny if Lae'zel taught geography. somehow

Shadowheart is the secretary. you couldn't put her in a room with 20 children and expect her to kill none of them I don't think

All of the tieflling kids are students at the school. but so is every goblin in the game. Dror Raglin and Priestess Gut are going to college next year

mol, despite expectations, is president of the student council, which is a deeply corrupt organisation

jaheira and halsin are both members of the PTA. they are performing insane acts of political intrigue at the monthly meeting & coffee social. they have an agreed code word with minsc that means 'enough is enough. lets kill everyone here'

so's kagha. she teaches maths. arabella (a student) cheated on her midterm exams and kagha attempted to kill her with a snake

The school was once a fine institution, established by the legendary Balduran himself. Shadowheart has to guard the Artefact as part of her secreterial duties. She had her memories wiped by Shar to achieve this still. She's like a secretary but Shar gives her the secreterial powers through faith (despite the mundane nature of this AU Shar is still a god)

instead of the dream guardian using telepathy they send texts to Tav from an unknown number. they all end with '...........from your Dream Guardian', usually that many ellipses but sometimes more

Halsin is the caretaker also. and his bears and animals just hang around while he works. not clear how the place is getting cleaner

Owlbear cub just got into the walls one day and can't be retrieved

final battle = yearly fundraising talent show

[cyberneticlagomorph]

Zeb holds tight to your hand for his first few steps into the Market, his eyes darting here and there, trying to take it all in and only ending up dizzy again.

But he doesn't complain.

You find Tigger at a stall selling juicy looking bugs from various rotting logs set up like fruit displays at the supermarket. He's chatting loudly with the vendors, bouncing in place and flapping his front paws as he does. "If i'da know you guys would be here too I woulda brought Pooh to come say hi!"

The vendors, a goblin and an absolutely MASSIVE beast of an orc, are smiling at him with soft nostalgic eyes like he's an old friend they haven't seen in such a long long time.

"Nah that's ok, we got to see you and that's enough for now." Says the goblin, a thin and wiry creature with a shock of cherry red hair and soft floppy looking ears. "But how is Pooh holdin' up with the whole... thing?"

"Poohbear is Poohbear, as long as he has his hunny he'll always be ok... we miss our boy though, and our other friends... a lot." Tigger stops bouncing and wrings his tail, ears back. "N' it's not like the new people we found aren't the bestest people, cuz they are!" He looks at you pointedly, and holds eye contact until he knows you know how much he means that. "Sometimes you just miss someone lots n' lots n' that's ok, the missin' gets easier after awhile I think."

"Yeah it does." Says the goblin with a glance at the orc, as if to say 'I know, may you never ever understand how much I Know'. "But enough mushy stuff, why don't you guys take a bag of bugs to go, on the house, my treat."

Zeb makes a face without meaning to, and is suddenly very grateful for the mask, "Bugs?"

"Bugs!" Says the orc. This is the first time you've seen one without the green paint that they normally wear, so he's a ruddy brownish-red with proud tusks, and an even prouder belly from snacking on his own wares. "Slimy yet satisfying! Truly rare delicacies we breed ourselves."

"I'd offer you a free sample, but the whole bag is free so that'd be redundant." Says the goblin, up to his shoulder in a mossy log, digging around in its rotting guts. Several smaller bugs and spiders skitter out of other holes, startled by the disturbance, only to be hoovered up by the orc. The goblin bops his partner on the snout with his free hand and frowns.

The orc gives the goblin puppy-dog eyes in return and the goblin just... sighs.

Several assorted bugs are chucked into a brown paper bag, and lightly dusted with raw salt before being handed over. Zeb gazes at the squirming mass with obvious distaste, despite his mask.

"Now you tell Pooh, Willy and Minerva we said hey, ok?" Says the goblin, pulling a little Leonid child out from behind a pile of extra logs, the kid's mouth is absolutely crammed with bugs. The little Leonid is nearly the same height as the goblin but that doesn't stop him from balancing the kid on one hip like a practiced mother. "And if you see anybody else from back home, you send 'em our way, yeah?

Tigger nods enthusiastically, doing happy flips and tricks midair as you wander away from the stall.

"Who were they?" Says Zeb, he's rolled the bag shut so he doesn't have to see what's in it, but he won't let you carry it for some reason.

"Friends from back home!" Tigger purrs, pausing to check out a stall selling candy spun from dreams.

"Oh, friends from the Wood?" You hand over a piece of gold to the dream-seller, and listen to Tigger purr purr purr as he gets his own paper bag to hold.

"Nah, thats Home, I mean home like where me and Pooh and the mice came from before we got here." Tigger digs through the bag and inspects the sweet dreams he's bought, his glass eyes sparkling.

You nod in understanding, but Zeb just stares for a bit, failing to grasp what Tigger means.

"...are those for Egg?" Zeb points at Tiggers bag.

"Some of 'em, but not all of 'em, she'd get a tummyache if she ate all of 'em." The plush tiger holds up a brilliant blue dream and watches the light dance across its sugar shell before putting it back in the bag.

"Be careful with those." You warn. "I'm not buying you more if you drop them."

"...I wanna buy something too." Zeb says in a voice so soft it might as well be a whisper. "But I dunno what to get... and I don't think they take people money, do they?"

"HUMAN money, but no they don't, they mostly trade things for gold or Sents." You pry Tigger away from another stall, this one selling shiny sharp and fragile things you don't want him dropping.

"Cents?" The boy asks.

"No, SENTS, short for Sentiments." You put Tigger on your hip like a toddler to keep him from touching more stuff, and he doesn't complain. "First kisses, emotions, dreams, wishes, that sort of thing."

"...isn't that illegal?" Zeb tilts his head.

"Not... really? Taking someones Sentiments without their consent and trading THOSE is very illegal, but dealing in or with Sents is just how fairies do things."

"Do... I have Sents?" Zeb stands still, as if the stillness will help him ponder this mystery better.

"Probably! But lets take you to an Appraiser and find out."