#but thats stupid and really i just need to get this out of my system

[fvckednddistvrbed]

.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[nbclover]

Idk why all these chicory arts are making me embarrassed about how I did in the game

[foxtail-1311]

Top Trans Tape Tips

Hello!!! I am a transmasc system who binds using TransTape for health reasons.

A couple reasons why I love TransTape:

Doesn’t use compression! I have chronic chest pain due to severe anxiety, so adding a binder on top of that causes Issues.

Can be worn for a while! Although previous sources suggested 2 weeks, I’ve also seen 3-4 days. Really, you can tell when the fraying gets bad

No need to take it off to sleep or exercise or swim!

Okay, with that out of the way

DISCLAIMER

I have a small chest! These tips are based on my own experience, so they might not be helpful for people trying to bind with larger chests! Also this is not an ad! Also also I’ve been binding consistently for around 2 months, which is not a ton and really only enough to kind of know what I’m doing. Also I have only used TransTape brand, but there are others out there that might work differently

So, my tips for TransTape

Find the method that works best for you. It sounds stupid and it sucks because there’s not a ton out there on different methods, but trust. I read about lying down while applying and my life literally changed. There are tons of different graphics out there for different tape patterns to maximize flatness. Do some research

Brand name oil is expensive and stupid. Baby oil, mineral oil, or any other oil works just as well. HOWEVER!!!! do NOT skip on oil use

i generally use 2 pieces, though i probably only need 1. i do one across and one vertical down my chest, so the fat is pressed out and down

TRY YOUR TAPE DIRECTIONS WITH HANDS FIRST!!!! if it hurts with your hands it will hurt with tape!!!!!!!!! you can and will get pain in the middle of your chest

once the tape is down, it is down. each time you remove it to adjust it, it sticks less well to your skin

dont stick it to your armpit hair. i do this every time and it always hurts.

Not a tip but something everybody needs to understand:

trans tape will not make you 100% flat. it just won’t. good news: even titless people aren’t 100% flat. a masc-cut shirt and some confidence will do the rest for you. it sucks sometimes but you just gotta know that.

anyway

heres a bonus spreadsheet i made. its all us-based because thats where i live and i made this for me to reference, but here yall go anyway!!! if anyone has other brands/links, feel free to send em to me!!

[slutdge]

life update ramble under the cut if yall gaf about that

making a bigger effort to limit my online time bc i recognize a lot of the time it really just makes me anxious and is rotting my brain and im starting to fall into terminally online loser behavior. i turned 26 last month and was just like "wtf am i doing man". its become an extremely unhealthy coping skill for me and i can FEEL the toll its taking on my braincells so. working on fixing that. i also have had my anons turned off for a while and just block people that annoy me extremely liberally bc like. its not that serious. its tumblr dot com. i wanna curate my space and have a good time on here not worry about dipshit morons that cant fucking read.

i reached a breaking point in being a doormat and receptacle for everyone else 24/7. with ptsd its really hard to set and hold even the smallest boundaries but im really... at a breaking point with how shitty it makes me feel all the time. small considerations are not too much to ask of people that supposedly care about me and if theyre going to be adverse to them i dont want it in my life. this has kind of just been a dynamic ive been cursed with my whole life, ive always felt, like i said, like a doormat for everyone else. i dont want to enable that anymore because too many people get acustom to being able to treat you like that and it just spirals out of control. *through gritted teeth, shaking uncontrollably like im about to combust" i am a person with value that deserves respect :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))). and yes i do recognize there is some responsibility on me to stand up for myself. im trying my best. but also holy fuck is it that hard for other people to just be mildly considerate of other people. im so worried about pleasing everyone else and what everyone else thinks im never pleasing myself or worrying about what i thnk of myself. its fuckin stupid and shitty.

as far as college goes, i got the highest scores out of my whole class on every final exam last semester and that was a really big win for me even if it seems a little silly. growing up being failed by the school system, being in the at risk youth program, not being accomodated for disability, and having a guidance counsellor in school tell me verbatim she wasnt expecting me to get very far in life and was just here until i wasnt going to be the schools problem anymore was really discouraging. hazard to say traumatizing even. getting back into school was really hard for me, it was scary and i wasnt sure id be able to do it but. im in my last semester now and looking at continuing studies after this. its still been scary and really stressful and i hate it 99% of the time and almost everyone i go to school with is insufferable and makes me wanna tear my hair out but. im still trucking.

ive reduced my drinking pretty significantly, its definitely still alcoholic levels and unhealthy and yeah i started smoking again but all im drinking is beer now, no more hard liquor, and thats been going alright. i feel less shitty than i did when i was blacking out every single night. im not ready to quit it yet, i know that i need this as a way to self medicate otherwise im gonna lose my fucking mind worse than usual. but im not doing heroin anymore so be grateful its just beer an cigarettes now.

yes the two abusive psychos that will not be named are still in my life yes i am still in physical danger 24/7 and one of them was responsible for giving me the concussion i got last month, yes it still makes me think about killing myself all the time yes it is soul crushing to do this all on my own with no support, im not gonna lie about that and do some fake positivity shit. that fucking sucks and these people have irreparably ruined my life. thats that. no silver lining there. i keep drinking because thats the only thing that will bring the anxiety down and make me functional in a lot of cases.

in the last 6 months or so ive felt a really big shift in my life, kind of like ive shed a large portion of who i used to be but im welcoming it, im trying to just see where im gonna end up, but it is a relief to be in a new place, with school to keep me busy, to be making an effort to get out more and do more things etc etc and self reflecting and all that dumb mental health shit, i feel like im finally closer to knowing and figuring out my actual self instead of the closet full of 100 personas i put on to please everyone else. im also doing my best to be mindful and try to leave small things in the past and do DBT & CBT and all that dumb fuckin therapy shit.

im still gonna be a hater i wanna make that clear. and i still hate my life. also wanna make that clear. i am still feeling shitty all the time i wanna make that clear. and im never going to turn into a toxic positivity person either wanna make that VERY FUCKING CLEAR, i am probably gonna be what ppl would call a pessimist until the day i die, im never gonna be a shiny happy person.

religious trauma is also on my mind a lot right now, more than usual, i realize how much it has stunted me mentally and day by day im trying to remove that shrapnel from my brain but holy fuck its hard dude. that shit sucks. if organized religion has zero haters im dead. and fuck the new pope. i wanna do tings for myself and make life as enjoyable as i can.

im also trying to deprogram all this dumb shit my parents have drilled into my head my whole life. my parents are fucking morons and huge assholes and i hate them, why retain what theyve taught me instead of branching out and educating myself and building myself, not being a clone of them? every time i do something that reminds me of them it makes me want to peel my skin off. not a good indicator. i dont want ideas from brainddead morons like them poising my mind anymore. its ok to do things you enjoy and be upset and be angry and be yourself and be "weird" (weird by their definition is anything that isnt rigid adherence to conservative catholicism)

i also stopped talking to my sister and dont intend to ever again honestly and i dont feel any way about it. shes been a nasty bully to me my whole life. were full grown now, shes 30, and still acting like were kids. all around a nasty unpleasant person to be around all the time. blood is not an obligation to me. weve never had a real relationship and im not gonna do it anymore. its a waste of my time and energy. not to mention shes an alt-right nutjob now which i double dont want to fucking be around. this whole family sucks and im not crazy for feeling that way, theyre crazy for acting like this and being held to this nuclear family mind cult where no matter what blood is blood and you have to suffer them forever. fuck. that.

this post is a mess and im overtired and i have an assignment due at midnight so im gonna check out. dare i say im looking forward to making more progress. do i dare. when you spend your whole life convinced you were gonna kill yourself its scary to start thinking and seeing that maybe that wont actually be how you end up. dont hold me to it though.

thanks for visiting my corner of the internet

im still gonna be a cunt about music and i still hate psychiatry as an institution and want to burn it to the ground.

good night.

[system-of-a-feather]

hi, i have been thinking about the topic of fusion, and what i want my long-term goals to be, and i was wondering. do you ever feel like being fused is exhausting? not the process of fusion, i know thats exhausting because healing is exhausting. but like. do you ever feel overwhelmed due to being all parts of yourself at once? i havent experienced any fusions yet (hopefully in the future!) but ive seen people talk about how even when fused, none of the parts disappear but instead are all part of the "you" that always exists. my only frame of reference for how that feels for myself is blendy cofronting, which in my experience can be pleasant with 2 or 3 parts, but any more than that gets overwhelming and disorienting

Actually? Surprisingly? No. Not really at all honestly. The funny thing is that I used to wonder the same thing so I absolutely understand the frame of reference and perspective and assumptions that go with it, but its extremely comfortable and LOW energy to be fused for me.

The actual thing that happens is that you don't really get that "too many parts in front" fatigue like... ever or fronting fatigue like ever - at least thats how it is for me.

I relax a whole fuck ton better as a fused whole and while a lot of fusion still has me having to learn my new / fused "me" and how I operate on a baseline, thats an entirely different thing than trying to balance all the differing and contrasting parts or trying to understand and negotiate that because like... They are all simultaneously me and I VERY freely and fluidly exist as and between all of them. There isn't really "compromise" I have to make because.... we just co-exist harmoniously as one without even needing to explicitly talk about it or discuss or put intention into coming to a shared understanding, we just... do and know and its really really really really fucking easy living as a fused whole compared to being multiple parts

Like even if you were to ask me just as ONE part versus how I am now, there is not a single part in our system that has ever actually been so comfortable and so not-fatigued existing as I am as a whole

Everythings a lot more balanced, managable and our window of tolerance is STUPID fucking large - and I don't mean that in a "relative to where we used to be" or "relative to someone with as much trauma as I do" but genuinely STUPIDLY huge compared to most generally neurotypical non-traumatized not-severely-mentally ill people and I largely thank that to Post Traumatic Growth honestly.

But like... tldr, not really at all for me surprisingly. Maybe really early post fusion when I was still figuring myself out a lot but like.... Thats more so the process of fusing than being fused itself imo.

(Side note edit: Sometimes I DO think itd be better to explore a situation and issue as independent parts and so sometimes I DO operate in a more system / plural way of existing for however long its beneficial, but thats less to do with fusion not helping me as much as it is that I think a plural lens and perspective has a lot of perks in navigating complicated situations.)

Anyways tagging a few others who might have a different answer / perspective on this since they are either in a different stage of a fusion / integration and/or have a different way of existing with their fused / integrated state than me.

@hiiragi7 @reimeichan @subsystems

[firemenenthusiast]

the tag is so cute but lmk if this works cs the post is still up 💔

https://x.com/SexualLoverz/status/1778850070810542313

basicalky tho shes riding his face while hes cuffed n all, i can go into more detail if it doesnt work js lmk x

shout out to stacie for the request ! (and for waiting for a damn long time for me to write, im sorry 😭)

—“influence”

sub!kai x reader

summary: based on the link above (account got suspended btw), kai is a dumbass who is easily influenced by zac who’s NOT a good person 🤯

warnings: 18+, smut, p link, sub!kai, no actual penetration, face sitting, face riding, cunnilingus, name calling (bitch & slut) 😢, cumming in pants, restraints (m! receiving)

a/n: guess who’s back LMAOOO guys uni is no joke im getting my ass beat

hate’s maybe too strong of a word to describe your dislike towards zac but everything he does pisses you off. it’s like theres physically a bad bone in his body navigating him in making stupid and evil decisions. like telling kai to stop others from taking the blue, resulting in chaos on the ship since richard’s no longer here to keep things in line. he was also the one who thought it was a good idea to have a party, celebrating god knows what, eating and wasting every resources you guys had on the ship.

he was also the reason the ship’s data room got destroyed and everyone had to clean up after him. the ship’s up and running again now, thanks to christopher. but the reason you hate zac is because he’s such a bad influence to kai. you couldn’t blame kai for the things he’d done, he wouldn’t have done them if it wasn’t because zac told him to.

maybe he just felt like that was his calling, like he had a purpose on that ship, leading him to do everything zac told him to eventho they’re stupid. in reality he’s more than that, he’s actually really smart, and good with electricals. he’s also really nice to you, it’s just that he tends to do the stupid things zac tells him to do because he thinks he’s not good enough. he needs to feel like he’s important, which is why he never wanna leave your side. you make him feel special, and needed. between that and the lack of blue in his system, he had grown to be really clingy with you. and his needs, his certain needs, now washing over him like a big perpetual confusing wave

you hear his stalking steps behind, following you through the ominous hall connecting the working quarters to your dorms. he’s been after your back all day, and now he’s even sniffing the trail of scent you left behind. “you smell good” he starts, throwing his head back while dragging his hands down his face. he is getting ridiculous. now he’s sniffing you around like an animal ? “did you shampoo ?” he continues, making you halt your steps for a moment to take his dumb words in before continuing to walk. shaking your head in disbelief that you’re responding to his question, “they sent me the new ones to sample so yeah, earlier” you explain, telling him about the new shampoo they’ve formulated, experimenting with improved ingredients from the lab. “can you stop for a moment ? where are you going anyways ?” he hasten his steps behind you, pondering on how are you walking so fast. before you know it he manages to quickly grab your hand and intertwine his fingers with yours. now that you’re forced to stop, you turn and raise your chin to look at him, who’s grinning.

“i need to report back to them, kai”

“what ? like now ?”

“yes, now”

“they can wait”

moving the strand of hair out of your face, you sigh at him. looking up at him through your lashes, your face clearly unamused. “no kai, unlike you who clearly has nothing better to do they’re actually working and contributing to the ship” you squint your eyes as you say that, making him take a step back to scoff at you. if only he could channel this newfound energy or hormones on something else, he would’ve actually made a difference. like maybe fixing and updating your database thats turning obsolete from how ancient it is, or come out with a new security system. that would’ve made you drool over him, even reward with after a hard day of doing men’s job. instead, he’s been chasing you around the ship all day since yesterday, snooping up your ass, waiting as you do chores hoping to get in your pants. like you said, it’s the lack of blue

you gesture your hand around signalling that you’re done here if he doesn’t have anything else to say, too tired of him to even roll your eyes. he’s frustrated to say the least, confused with his own neediness, struggling to navigate the feelings. he could’ve just gone to any other girls on the ship, they’ll gladly let him into their dorms but he doesn’t want that, he doesn’t want them. what the both of you have is something sacred to him that he refuses to jeopardise. even so, you’re starting to give him blue balls, he’s wondering how can you be so composed, as you’ve also stopped taking the blue while he’s sweating and fidgeting. “go find something useful to do kai, leave me alone”. it’s not like you’re mad at him, but it hasn’t been long since the last time you gave in because of his pleas.

“why are you being such a bitch ? zac’s right, girls are fucking difficult” kai’s towering over you, letting go of your hands. he almost gave up when you start walking away before he continues his petty tantrum. “you act like you’re sooo important, always doing this and that, acting like you don’t want me” you’ve turned your heels away from him long ago, ignoring his silly words that are far from insults. you were about to block his voice out of your hearing before you hear him, “walk away all you want but we both know you were begging for my cock like a slut” you’re lucky the hallways empty or else anyone could’ve heard him easily. his last words flicked a switch inside your head, making you turn around to quickly stomp towards him. he can’t be serious.

he could’ve accepted and just walk away like a man but decided to act like a bitch instead, whining around that you wouldn’t let him get his dick wet. you reach over for his shirt, pulling him by fisting the fabric on his chest, your bodies almost colliding. you can feel his warm breath fanning over you as he falls quiet and his face drops. “you’re so fucked, kai” you say as you start dragging him by his shirt, walking across the hallway before taking a turn towards his dorm. he struggles to follow your steps with you pulling him forward, forcing him to bend a little. he almost trips over multiple times on the ship’s floor. as you stop in front of his dorm, you push him forward, he almost stumble over his feet. “unlock it” you order him, to which he quietly obeys, pressing his code into the lock display.

you push him inside quickly before locking the door behind you to avoid anyone noticing. after making sure it’s just the both of you, you step forward, making him step back before his heels hit the side of his bed in the small compound. he’s forced to sit as you settle between his legs, his head tilted upwards to look at you, too scared to look away. “im so tired of you running your mouth,” you begin, lifting your hand to cup his cheek, smoothing your thumb over his clear skin. he’s starting to regret the things he said to you, nervous anticipating what’s going to happen now that he’s pissed you off. “do you think you’re better than me ?” you ask him softly, waiting for his answer patiently as you can clearly see him keeping in his answer, his eyes trailing somewhere else. moving your fingers over his lips, you play with them, gently pulling at the bottom one. you smile at him.

“so you do think you’re better ?” before he could give you any response, you thrust your index and middle finger pass his lips, pushing down on his tongue. “you’re pretty, kai,” you say, as you thrust your fingers further. “but sometimes you can be such a bitch” your fingers are now slotted snug against his tongue, he struggles to keep himself from gagging as his eyes are becoming glossy, small tears pooling at the corners. he shuts his eyes for a moment before shaking his head, he tries to make out something but they’re mumbled because of your fingers. you coo at him before retracting them and cupping his cheek. he’s short of breath yet wastes no time, “m’sorry” you shake your head, giving him a look before firmly tapping his cheeks with your saliva covered fingers. traces of spit sticks onto his face as you push him down by his head, his hand grabbing at your wrist.

you quickly push your pants down with your free hand before quickly getting on top of him on the bed. he’s starting to smirk from seeing you sitting pant-less on him, thinking that you still gave in after all. he raises his hands to place them on your waist, before even starting to rub at your exposed thighs. you smile at him as you take his hands, guiding and placing them on your covered tits, earning a soft small moan from him. he’s happily kneading at the soft flesh as you reach over beside the bed, where there are drawers. you pull out one of them to fish out something before placing it over his hands, zip tying them together swiftly.

he was too caught up in the feeling, eyes closed and all to notice what you’re doing. he looks as if he’s panicking, trying to break the zip tie off but the friction’s hurting his wrists. “fuck- i said i was sorry ?” he lets out, his bent knees moving around and hitting the wall. you let out a sigh looking at him, as he returns a wide eyed look at you, hoping for you to take the zip tie off. “please baby ?” he tries again, before you move over him, your knees settling on each side of his head, your pussy hovering right above his face. “don’t baby me”.

you couldn’t be bothered to look at him as you run your hands through his tight curls, tugging slightly at the roots before settling all of your weight on his face, his mouth open to take your pussy. just as he flattens his tongue to lap up your juices he lets out a hummed moan, the vibration sending chills down your spine. you tighten your grab on his roots, making him hum, his tied hands behind you flailing around, tortured that he doesn’t get to feel you. one thing kai is if he’s not anything else is he’s a pussy eater, and he can so it for hours. he gets off from eating pussy, and does it like nobody’s business. but you’ve never sat on his face, though he’s begged you to before. you weren’t comfortable with the thought but you know this will shut him up.

he continues his laps against your pussy as his tongue licks at the sensitive nub, before gently sucking on it, making you whine loudly. you quickly snap out of the feeling to control your loudness, with the compound walls being thin as ever and people outside that might hear. kai doesn’t have to worry about his sounds as they’re all muffled by your pussy, so he’s moaning and whining against your folds each time his tastebud indulges your taste. his cock’s hard in his pants, begging to be let out and touched. so kai settles for the next best thing he could get right now, his tied hands cupping over his hard on and rubbing across the bulging length.

the friction of the fabric of his pants against his cock makes him feel good, he’s moaning as his hand rubs over his sensitive tip yet nothing compares to sinking inside your warm pussy. if you give him a chance right now he’s willing to kneel before you and beg for you to let him fuck, he’ll promise to do all the work while you just lay down and be a pillow princess. unfortunately his mouth is covered and pressed down against your pussy. not that he’s complaining, he gets to suck and lap the juices off your folds.

you’ve had enough of him having fun so you start grinding down, moving your hips back and forth, your pussy rubbing against his mouth and his nose. all you can see now is his eyes, glossy with long lashes staring back at you, his eyelid heavy from the pleasure. he’s moaning uncontrollably underneath you now that you’re grinding against his face, your clit nudging at his nose making you moan, your fingers tugging down at his roots. his hands are cupping his hard on, obvious bulge poking through his pants. his bent knees are flailing around from the pleasure, his hips bucking up into thin air, not quite enough to turn the restraint on his cock into pain. his waist hovers over the bed, as he speeds up his lapping against your folds. all while he’s tortured by the blood rushing to the tip of his cock, he’s overwhelmed by the sweet taste of your pussy and scent pushing down against his face. you let out a whine as you feel his lips sucking at your hole, slurping up the wetness leaking out with his tongue before fucking your hole with it.

he’s now fucking you with his tongue, sending you waves after waves of pleasure that’ll eventually come down sooner or later. “mnmgh, fu- so good kai” your praise fills him with more excitement to please you, as his slurping on your sex makes loud noises in the compound. “fuck, kai- you-you’re gonna be good after this ?” your question comes out staggered and whiny, the pleasure invading your words. he nods against your pussy, his nose nudging against your sensitive nub. “mmnhgh- oh my god, f- you’re gonna stop calling girls with that word ?” he nods rapidly, the repeated nudges of his nose making you twitch. the knot in your lower belly tightening as you pin his head down by his hair, before grinding harder against his face. you could feel his plump lips sucking on your clit. arching your back from the pleasure before looking down, you see his brown eyes already set on you, looking away just to watch your body move and writhe on top of him.

“oh my god- kai, fuck- gonna cum” you’re now borderline bouncing on his face, your hips twitching as you chase your high. he knows that you’re about to cum as he speeds up his tongue fucking into your hole. “gonna give you my cum” you hear him let out a muffled sound, as you’re busy chasing your orgasm. his hands are rubbing and squeezing down on his covered length, trying to calm the blood rushing that’s making him rock hard. you let out your final whine before moaning hard, your hips halting its movements against his face as your orgasm washes down, and you’re cumming on his mouth.

you begin to raise your hips to hover over his mouth as you immediately hear him moan, his tied hands tugging at the back of your shirt. “fuck!” curses flow out of his lips as soon as he gets to speak. his hips are bucking hard because of his twitching thighs. your breasts are heaving, trying to catch your breath and settle down. you turn your upper body to look behind you to notice the small beads of white seeping through his pants, and the bulge poking through it twitching around. your eyes go wide at the view of him cumming untouched in his pants before turning back to look at him who’s smiling at you, his eyelids droopy from being pussy drunk.

his smile is crooked and he’s seconds away from passing out. you cup your hands over your mouth for a moment before leaning down to gently kiss him, your fingers running slowly through his curls to massage his scalp. you reach again into the drawers to find a scissor, before turning behind to release his hands. he immediately reach up to wrap his arms around your waist, before you pull them away to slowly rub at his wrists. “mmhm” your gentle touch offers him some relief, making him hum in contentment. the traces of the zip tie leaving red marks as your fingers smooth over the skin.

you tsk at the obvious imprint of the restraint on his wrists, which are probably hurting like hell yet he’s too awestruck to complain. you’re still on top of him, sitting on his steady chest as he just lets you inspect his hands, too worn out to even do anything. “i love you” he mumbles out. you take his hands and place them together against your chest before leaning down again to kiss his lips. he gently returns the kiss before letting you kiss all up his cheeks, nose, eyes and forehead. “promise to be good, kai” his glossy eyes search into yours as his hands roam across your waist.

“maybe”

taglist: @radioloom @r4vn @themoonchildwhofell @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha @love-me-pls @szapizzapanda @luckystrikerealness @fuckshitslover @khxna @juniperhasfallen

[oh-no-its-bird]

sending this ask w the power of god (airport wifi) because my power is out but i NEED to say this abt sqh in naruto as huohou

sqh would be SO fucking paranoid. he doesn't even remember who becomes a missing nin or not and mixes up canon with fanon. "hmm yeah shisui becomes a missing nin right.....? hmm yes i should watch him Very closely." (shisui is suspicious of sqh watching him closely. what does he Want.) he also thinks madara and tobirama were in a situationship or something like that. or was it madara and hashirama...? wait, since when was sealing like THAT? (like always. everyone looks at him and it's like damn you must have failed the unit on sealing back at the academy.)

i think the system waking up sqh at night only to be jumpscared by the uchiha massacre notif is very funny but. hear me out. random late night ramen or grocery run instead or sumn like that. just chilling and all of a sudden oh FUCK.

YEAH EXACTLY

Houhua doesnt even know who Madara is, he read like a fucking quarter of Naruto before dropping it when he was in highschool, which was 2 lives and well over a few hundred years ago. He knows like, bare fucking bones about the start of Naruto and most of what he remembers is just bc of memes he'd see online that were funny enough to get imprinted in his mind

he got up to like, Sasuke defecting w Orochimaru maybe?

The system is helping out a little by giving him some vague list of "important characters" but then refuses to elaborate on what makes them important. Maybe when he meets people if they have narrative weight they'll glow in his eyes or smthn fun like that? Idk

Let his mangekyou, if he ever receives it, revolve around "seeing the strings of fate" or some shit and its basically an extension of the system where hes able to "see the future" but its just him being able to tell someones inherent narrative weight

I think he'd have a really fucking hard time ever manifesting it tho, just bc like. He's really old. And he's seen a lot of shit. And he's grown really fucking numb to most terrible things. And he's already putting up so many walls between him and "the residents of this world" or however he might see them. I think that it'd take a lot for him to become so genuinely attached to someone that losing them can manifest something like that, and he isn't emotionally available enough to get that attached in the first place

I want him to actually violently bash together naruto sealing and svsss sealing to create just like. An ungodly creation of power that no one but him understands how to work, I think it'd be fun

On one hand I am hearing u out but on the other hand I always found it interesting that, on the night of the massacre, somehow, some way, all of the Uchiha were accounted for in the compound. You're telling me not a single one was on duty? Not a single one was out on a mission? I always thought that was the most pointed "there's clearly something underhanded going on here from the governments half" bc that's so ridiculously convenient it's straight up stupid.

Anyways that's to say that to continue with that line of thought and also bc that was clearly planned somehow, Houhua would need to be in the compound

Then again theres probably shops n stuff in the compound that Houhua could have been going to, thats true

hmmm things to think about

Either way I think I like him not sleeping but like, laying down trying to sleep when it happens bc it also lets me flex the "this paranoid bastard has been going to sleep in fucking armor since Sasuke turned 8, that's wild"

[agirlwithglam]

hey girl,

can you give me any tips to deal with rejection. i wasnt rejected from a boy or a friendship but for smth school related. for a research project, we had to pick our top 3 subjects that we wanted to write the essay about and also give a potential research question for the project. i had i really good research project that i really wanted to do, but the results came back today and i didnt get any of the 3 subjects that i wanted, so i cant do the project that i wanted.

i feel so upset (literally crying as im writing this) cuz it makes me feel like even if i try super hard for smth, i will never get picked and will always be the 2nd choice.

any tips would be much appreciated <3

hi love, that must have felt so terrible to go through that and i understand how it could take a hit to your self esteem :(( first of all, i want you NOT to suppress these emotions. let yourself feel it, let yourself get angry at it for a while to get it out of your system just for however long you need (max 2-3 days tho) so that you have the ability to accept it and move on. here are some tips love <3

dealing with rejection (personalised ask)

pretty please, don't let this define you. don't let this bump in your beautiful, wild journey, adventure of a life prevent you from working hard in the future. rejection, esp in things like school, work, etc, isnt always about you or your amazing abilities, but sometimes its just logistics, or luck, a system that is unable to see your full potential. but none of that changes the fact that your idea was great, valid and something to be proud of. if you were proud of it in the beginning and you genuinely thought that you did a good job,🗣 don't let the opinions and decisions of other people change that! failure is not a reflection of who you are or your character.

if it was meant for you, it would have been. ESPECIALLY if you put so much hard work into it! in the hindu culture, it is said that in whatever you want to do/ succeed at, you must try your very hardest then let god decide the outcome. at first, i was a bit skeptical because like, i worked so hard on something then what god can just be like nahhh you don't get this?? obviously, now i understand and i hope you do too. sometimes, when you think you want something, it may not always be whats meant for you/ whats right for you. maybe you may not know it, but god knows what more hardships and struggles and negatives could have some with that. it sounds dramatic, but so does a man just walking into the louvre museum and simply taking the mona lisa (actually happened). OR.. you could be thinking small. you could be thinking '🌷' when god's plan for you is '💐' !!!

what if i told you you needed to get rejected at least 10 more times before you could get the dream life you wanted? how excited would you be to get rejected now? "but thats stupid, why would god do that if he could give me my dream life rn?" i asked that once. but these experiences and feelings of getting rejected that dealing/ coping with it afterwards is whats going to get you prepared for your absolute dream life. the lessons and experiences you now have stored in your inventory will last you the lifetime and who knows how many people you'll be able to help, or what amazing, incredible things you could do with this new knowledge now!!

okay. so something didn't happen the way you'd have liked to. its time to use this emotion as fuel, powering yourself to do better, to shine brighter, prove them all wrong!! now you are gonna go and be the best person you can ever be by taking the subjects that you did get and making it the best possible. can you do that? because maybe the lesson from this is experience is going to teach you that yes, even if you don't get what you want, you are that baddie that not only do you still complete the work, but you absolutely CRUSH IT AND LEAVE NO CRUMBS!!!

anyways i hope this helped you honey! please don't hesitate to ask me again if you need more advice <3

bmac

xoxo, vanilla

[crushedsweets]

SCREAMING SHAKING YOU OVER YOUR CREEPYPASTA SQUID GAMES ART YES YEEEEES YESSSSS 💥💥💥💥💥 silly silly question abt it but how do u think they (clocky toby kate and nina but u can include other creeps too) would die in squid games and how devastating would it be

ok so i kept TRYING to think about it as i drew but i legit couldnt come up with anything. so ill try to scramble out ideas now

it would take place in s2 because i drew them with the X/Os on their shirts (and s2 is more fun to me). . . spoilers ahead most likely. also SUPER disorganized and messy because if i tried to make this organized and clean itd take me an hour

so squid game AU where they all existed without slendy. im gonna focus on toby/nat/nina/kate/EJ(the creepjects) but ill mention jeff, ben, lulu, ann, brian, tim, jane, and liu

why theyre in debt/how the salesman approached them

toby is not a proxy, he's in the games because his mom is in a ton of medical debt after lyra's death and she went back to frank bc of it. toby is in there to relieve her debt, mostly so she can leave frank for good. he never killed his dad. the salesman prob came up to him after he and his dad got into a really violent fight after lyras death and he stormed out and was in a really bad spot.

similarly, i sort of like the idea of Jack's parents going into debt. its not his fault at all, but his dad maybe starts gambling for fun, it spirals out of control, he keeps desperately gambling to fix his mistakes, and its fucking up their (and all his 5 siblings) lives. i think he'd get approached by the salesman after pulling a lot of his own savings out to help his parents, only for it to barely make a dent in their debt and causing a huge argument between him and his dad.

natalie would fall into student loan debt after she moves states away for art school to escape her family, and they never had any savings, so the expenses piled up and financial aid/working multiple jobs couldnt keep up with them. she was approached by the salesman after cussing out a customer and getting fired on the spot cuz of it.

nina was big on buying, reselling, etc with a lot of fashion items. she eventually would get into a lot of luxury items, which immediately up the prices. even if they werent scams, she probably shouldnt have been buying them anyway, but she got screwed over severely and fall into credit card debt. however instead of trying to pay it off, she'd keep fucking herself cuz she has no self control. doesnt even realize how bad her debt is till its unsalvageable. salesman prob approached her after her card got declined and she finally called her bank and got the news and started freaking out.

i think kate was just pulling out loans to afford basic things. probably started with a car because she was young and fresh out of the foster system(IN A NON-SLENDY AU BTW) and needed transportation so she can work and get settled into her adult life. fucked over by a loan shark who took advantage of her being financially illiterate and had insane interest rates, resulting in her pulling out more loans to avoid getting her ass kicked, only for it to spiral. prob got approached by salesman after a loan shark roughed her up for being late and shes on her last leg

this is really hard cuz i love them all so much i dont wanna kill any of them and i can think of 100 reasons for why each would be 'good' to kill off for the sake of the story and 100 reasons why their death would be bad for my soul

SO REDLIGHT GREENLIGHT

i think in redlightgreenlight, kate and toby wouldve been arguing abotu some stupid shit. kate shoves toby when the song ends, he hits the floor, and the doll turns around. hes still on the floor, and some people start getting shot. thats when they realize this is a death game and kate realizes she nearly killed him(and possibly herself) if she pushed him even 5 seconds later.

realistically, nina would die in redlightgreenlight because the blood/gunshots would scare her so bad she'd be one of the people shaking, screaming, or running. BUT I DONT WANT HER TO SO THIS DEATH CAN BE HYPOTHETICAL.

SO ILL SAY INSTEAD the reason nina survives despite her shaking is because she's hiding behind Clocky. who is doing good at the game and doesnt even realize nina has been hiding behind her until the end of the game, in which she turns around like "...?why are you standing so close back up."

i think jack would be sort of quiet and not really notable in the first game. i dunno why but he seems like a character that would show up later. OR he'd be like Ali(199 s1) or Hyun-ju(120 s2) who makes their first big move by saving someone else, even if it risks their life.

SO THEN THE FIRST VOTE.

nina immediately votes X, clocky votes O, toby votes O, kate votes O, EJ votes O. theyre all desperate and think the only reason ppl lost redlightgreenlight was fear/confusion, and that the next games cant be that bad.

THEN THE SIX LEGGED PENTATHALON.

they'd all get put together.

toby would play ddakji. clocky plays flying stone. nina plays gong-gi. jack plays spinning top. kate plays jegi.

i think for other creeps, id prob shove some of them into a group against their will where they'd go in super confident and then die. like jeff/ben/lulu would be in a group, asking Ann to join. she'd reject them, and die in her own group

SO THE SECOND VOTE

EJ, Nina, and Clocky vote X. Kate and Toby vote O. clocky screams at them for it. kate just kinda sits there and lets her yell, but toby argues back. "you selfish fucking pricks why would you do that?!" "i need the fucking money man EVERYONE here needs the money stop bitching!" etc. Nina doesnt talk to them for the rest of the night, till the next game. EJ talks to them and is like "i understand. it was your decision, not mine." because he also almost voted O

SO MINGLE.

round one with 10 people, they get grouped with jeff(013), ben(404), lulu(400), jane(119), and liu(310). (i think jeff would be dragging lulu around everywhere. ben follows jeff voluntarily, jane and liu end up there cuz they needed two more)

round two with 4, jack and clocky are like "go take the other three into a room ill find someone else" but theyre losing time arguing, so toby and kate end up dragging clocky. so clocky, nina, kate, and toby in a room. jack barely scrapes by with another room, so theyre all so relieved when he shows up - but theres a moment of awkward tension between toby and jack, because toby chose clocky without second thought

round 3 with 3, toby, kate, and clocky get in a room together. nina is freaking out grabbing onto jack in near tears, and before jack can find someone, another tim(209) and brian(214) grab nina and force her into a room. leaving jack with nobody.

JACK IS ELIMATED IN MINGLE. nina is screaming banging on the wall. the others have no idea he's dead until they see nina choking on her tears.

round 4 with 6, nina doesnt wanna go with toby or kate anymore, but clocky begs her to just stick with them. so nina, toby, kate, and clocky. jeff and ben join them, leaving lulu to die. jeff defends himself saying he swore he left her with a group of 5.

round 5 with 2, toby and kate. nina and clocky. jeff and ben. jane and liu. tim and a random man who forced his way into the room before brian could, leaving brian to die. tim starts beating the man while the door is locked, nearly killing him before the door opens.

lulu, jack, and brian are elimated in mingle.

SO VOTE 3...

Clocky, Nina, Jane, Liu, Tim, and Toby vote X. Jeff, Ben, and Kate vote O.

nina's the one to scream at kate now, but kate once again just sits there and takes it. kate is Unfortunately Quite indifferent to herself or the people around her dying. toby voted X this time cuz of Jack's death + Nina and Clocky are just so distraught.

kate, being 008, is one of the last people to vote so it's a huge like ?! moment.

then the bathroom scene happens after the tie . . .

i think ben and liu die in the bathroom scene. liu didnt mean to get into a fight, and ben bit off more than he could chew. jeff is losing his mind cuz he's all alone now. jane is distraught after lius death so clocky/nina console her. kate sees toby covered in blood and she's shaken up by it.

SO LIGHTS OUT HAPPENS.

jeff kills jane. im sorry. im so sorry. she doesn't deserve it but he'd go straight for her.

this literally only leaves clocky, nina, toby, kate, jeff, and tim as MC's...

ok the issue here now is How would the whole revolution happen... i think tim would have to be in gi-hun/456's position and he's the one to lead it.

tim, toby, clocky, kate would go. nina and jeff stay back cuz jeff WANTS to stay in the game and nina doesnt wanna die (plus the others wouldnt let her join).

so. yeah. um. thats so pathetic i really jsut squidgamed them all

[accidentwithapen]

Hiii!!! GIGS in Space AU Once Again on my mind so heres a quick plot rundown allll put in one post

If you read through this all i love you <3

If not, have this grian doodle anyways

So Grian, Scar, Impulse, and Skizz are all prisoners in this like,,, dystopian space society. All are imprisoned for different reasons:

- Grian is a vandalist, doing graffiti and setting minor explosions around different government/company sites. When arrested and asked why he does what he does, he claims "it's about the principal"

- Impulse worked as a mechanic for a major company, but an incident resulting in a death and 3 injuries gets wrongfully pinned on him. He still believes that all circumstances surrounding his arrest are just one big misunderstanding. The company, however, doesnt care.

- Skizz is a hacker, and good at it too. He logs into the system of the same company Impulse worked for, and subsequently gets caught red-handed.

- Nobody knows why Scar is arrested. There are many rumors spread around the prison wing that he and Grian are in that Scar is Secretly A Mob Boss for the Con Corp. family. But surely someone so clumsy and silly cant possibly be so powerful, right? thats what Grian thinks, anyways.

So these doofuses have two options.

1. they can serve their sentence rotting in a shitty space prison with Nothing To Do and being forced into manual labor

2. they can get out slightly earlier after enough time spent doing Community Service

They go for the second one, which Happens to be gathering extraterrestrial data for Impulse's old Company (i need a name for it dear god its ridiculous at this point). So after all independently choosing the community service option, they get grouped into a squad of the four of them and get sent out to different semi-abandoned planets to hunt monsters/ghosts/aliens and collect data. What they eventually figure out is that the reason they are given so much freedom with their community service is that they are not intended to survive. They devise an escape plan and on their third mission together, they successfully escape together.

Its important to note that Scar and Grian came from the same cell block, so Grian decides to tell Skizz and Impulse about the mob boss rumors (as a prank, of course), and warns them that Scar Doesn't Like Swearing. basically scaring everyone into facing these cosmic horrors with a PG attitude

So the GIGS escape with a real shitty spacecraft and are on the run from the government (theres no way they're gonna succeed like this) up until they get captured. but not by the government.

They get captured by morally gray, filthy rich, weapons manufacturer Doc. (or his hitman at least, one Geminitay)

Doc explains to the GIGS that he has paid all of their bail fees, and now they must work off their debt to him. as delivery boys.

Doc enlists Gem to look after the GIGS during their deliveries. Gem Does Not Like This but shes not gonna say no to her boss.

Basically the rest of it is a silly stupid sci fi sitcom about funny found family doing goofy delivery missions and learning more about each other along the way.

Oh, and remember those rumors about Scar? Theyre all true. And there are Consequences for his absence in the family....

Heres some extra little character notes:

- While Impulse believes his arrest was a genuine mistake at first, during their second bout of community service, he and skizz discover how little the company actually cares about its employees and Impulse gets real mad that his entire livelihood is a lie and goes ham and wrecks some shit (good for him)

- Gem was taken in by Doc at a very young age, with life-threatening injuries. Doc used his experience with mad sciencery to fix her up with whatever he had on hand, mostly animal parts. now shes a hybrid.

- Gem sees Doc as a father figure, but has No Clue how to express that so from her perspective shes just Really Loyal to her boss and doing nothing more than paying off a life debt.

- Grian has a mycelium infection running up his arm that he keeps secret from everyone else. the first in the group to find out about it is Gem

- Scar uses mobility aids of many varieties, but mostly uses a cane with robotic leg splints on missions

Anyways thats all for now, if you wanna see some more doodles and stuff you can look around my gigs in space tag!!

[botboots]

unfamiliar familiarity [mirage x reader]

a/n: very soft. very short. hes all thats been on my mind since rotb and i needed to get some of my silly little feelings about this man out of my system. its 6am as i finished this & am posting and its not proofread yet so good luck <3

warnings: none word count: 505 (GN reader)

-----------------

It was quiet.

The air was still - only flickers of soft wind caressing your skin every now and then. Green leaves above you rustled with it, along with the tall grass only a few feet away. You were comfortably warm sitting under the summer shade of a tree.

Quiet was nice, you thought, settling against the cool metal at your side and letting your eyes fall shut with a deep exhale. A servo rested on your shoulder and you hummed.

You hadn’t felt at peace like this in… however long it had been.

Too long.

You blinked, pulled out of your thoughtless trance by the quiet murmur of your name. Lazily angling your head back, you looked up at the familiar face above you. He observed you for a moment, bright blue optics flicking over your features before soft metal lips parted to give you a soft grin. A warm feeling bubbled in your chest, spreading through to the rest of your body.

Safe, you thought.

Mirage made you feel safe.

“Somethin’ on your mind, pretty?”

A quick huff of a laugh left your lungs. You didn’t reply, just taking in his face; eyes, nose, cheeks and lips. Speaking of…

Lifting an arm, you made a grabbing motion with your hand. Like a child, you knew, but neither of you really cared too much. The mech eagerly lowered his helm, resting it in your outstretched hand. Your eyes narrowed ever so slightly to focus as you reached up with your other hand, thumbs grazing the sides of his face. His metal was mostly smooth - the occasional scratch or scar littered across it. Despite his best efforts to keep his finish clear and shiny, you actually liked all of the marks that were either too small or too deep to buff out. You thought they were pretty on him. You thought he was pretty.

The metal under your palms seemed to warm the longer you stared. When your previous thought returned to you, you gently tugged his helm towards you. He got the message and leaned further down, face mere inches from yours. Eyes flicking from optics to lips, you didn’t waste any more time in meeting him the rest of the way.

Your lips met. He sighed into the kiss, lifting a servo to rest it on top of your smaller hand. There was nothing desperate or rushed in it. It was soft. It was nice. Thoughts melted away as you closed your eyes, running your other hand over his jaw and just focusing on the feeling of him.

Even as you broke the kiss for air you just kept looking at him, caught in the most unfamiliar but simultaneously most familiar set of eyes you’d ever known.

The giant mechanical alien from somewhere out there in the universe who had been the only one to ever make you feel so genuinely safe and cared about tilted his helm.

“So… this definitely means I’m your favorite, right?”

You scoffed, giving him a light swat, “You always were, stupid.”

[thestarseersystem]

i have ocd so i have checking compulsions so i open up hashtag s*scourse and honestly the only good posters are people who aren't fucking stupid and aren't posting the exact same shit on repeat. like xyz "sysmeds suck" and then two posts down its like "endos are fucking stupid" like thanks guys, ive totally heard this before. you don't need to keep saying it.

ive blocked like 10 blogs since ive been back in this tag. yall are fucking annoying holy shit.

im tired of going down the same path repeatedly and hear second hand that y'all are being dipshit ableist to each other. like thats insane, that's insane to hear second hand, right? that's actually so fucked.

and i dont hate neutrals, honestly neutrals have the best reading comprehension about both sides, because they can actually critically think for once. but it's kind of funny to see that neutrals get labeled as "pro endos in disguise" and then another post saying they're "anti endos in disguise", like which is it guys?? lmao

also like there's people walking on eggshells and then there's people just running on them, smashing into a wall. it's kind of like watching a trainwreck, i can't look away. my ocd won't let me.

anyway. ive been off this blog bc ive learned more about myself, and honestly to take a break from this carousel of a community. it's made me realize how actually insane people are, and with every post i see, how less and less i care about what anyone else thinks. yes, i still block people, but that's because the inner me would send anon hate if i didn't. to stop myself from telling people to jump off a bridge or something. because goddamn, so many posters are so fucking stupid it makes me want to bash my own brains out.

ive never been quite popular in the system community, since my blocking habit never allowed me to gain more than a thousand or so followers. i do have posts that still get notes here and there, but i bet its not as much as other blogs.

ive honestly been spending my days sort of dissociated, so ive not made any posts. but i have a personality disorder. so yeah. ive been just existing, without a care to try to be polite anymore, and that realization and "issue" gave me comfort to finally be recognized. I actually feel normal finally accepting it. I feel recognized. I feel understood. And I don't feel scared anymore.

I really don't care anymore, that I have to be this epitome of perfection. I've been trying to say it all along, but I've never had the right words to speak it. And I could honestly care less about fitting in. Regardless if anyone else has any issues similar to mine. I've always felt like I never belonged. And probably, because I just felt deeply unnoticed. It's something that the main symptom is identity diffusion. No wonder, even after the autism, I still felt different.

So I'm here now, same as before, just more clarity and less care to be tactful.

[not-kamenx]

Beyblade X Episode 36: Bladership

Never has an episode made me more calm and relaxed as Packun gets a slap of reality and realizes he can’t continue being a thief forever. I thought him copying Hammer Incendio was just a one time thing— NO, THIS GUY HAS BEEN DOING IT FOR A WHILE 😭

Seeing Multi try to make a relaxed expression while wanting to throw hands with Packun is sure something. She probably has a lot of experience in having to keep a calm face for the audience but man, the urge to just jump over the stadium and yeet Packun to Jupiter is still there

IM SO GLAD THAT PACKUN DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO STEAL MORE DATA OR ELSE I WOULDVE SCREAMED. Multi just practically stood there and won the battle too, and that was just really funny to me somehow. Like Packun had this whole plan with Hammer Incendio and having these weird fantasies of one shotting Persona’s team before losing to Multi.

MY MANS THOUGHT HE HAD A CHANCE AGAINST JAXON OF ALL PEOPLE. HE REALLY THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA BEAT MULTI AND CRUSH JAXON??? That’s just laughable, you really thought you could beat him, out of all people??? That’s like him challenging Chrome or Sigrid to a battle and expecting to win

then Miss Myoden and Taisho sending Multi the footage of when Packun stole the data for her to project it. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT THE PEAK OF THE EPISODE. But that made me question something like 😭 can anyone just project something at any time. Is it certain Bladers who have permission??? Did Multi just hack the 4X System to show Packun’s crime??? LIKE???

and then people starting throwing their Packun merch at him. Bro had all these (actual) fans and dolls thrown at him and he somehow didn’t flinch, how does one gain that ability? BUT I SCREAMED WHEN ROBIN TOLD THE AUDIENCE TO STOP

Robin with all due respect! STOP SHOWING KINDNESS TO YOUR BULLIES. TAKUMI SHATTERED YOUR BEY WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT AND YOU WERE LIKE “NUH UH” WHEN HE WENT TO QUIT BLADING. WHEN YOU MET HINA AND HAD ALL THOSE PROBLEMS WITH THOSE BULLIES AND THEY USED DIRTY TRICKS TO WIN YOU JUST SIMPLY DELETED THE FOOTAGE AND WAS LIKE “there :)” AND NOW WITH PACKUN. YOU WERE READY TO THROW HANDS BEFOR SEEING HIS BACKSTORY AND BEING LIKE “wait guys don’t bully him!” PLEASE.

boy he disrespected you AND Multi by stealing her creations and publicly humiliating you and saying the worst things to you and writing off your hard work as something only weak people tell themselves

and you just hold the doll and are like “hey you can start over again” while he slaps it out of your hand and says he hates sympathy from people like you ROBIN GET AWAY FROM THIS GUY YOU DONT NEED TO BE EVERYONES THERAPIST

then Packun is like “guys I wouldn’t do that Multi is lying that’s probably AI” well I didn’t expect the AI argument to come up kudos to him for that point brought up I’ll give him that much BUT STUPID HOW ELSE WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO COPY A BEY THAT PERFECTLY and he tries to stall the All-Stars battle to keep his loss off record

then our Queen Manju is like “we’re not cancelling shit get on with the show” Good. GOOD.

overall opinion of this episode: baby bird stop trying to be nice to everyone some don’t deserve it, Multi you ATE, and Jaxon has like a second shot where he’s just standing I CANT WAIT WHEN HE BATTLES thats if Multi doesn’t win ofc

[randall-lloyd]

Warning: Rudy gets VERY sappy and a lot of people are abt to be tagged n told how radical they are IM SORRY THAT YOURE GETTING A STUPID NOTIF LIKE THIS

So the past.... Month. Has been very eventful. Coping with a rough break up, work being hard. I'm almost 21 I kinda figured it'd be rough being in my 20s. I really was expecting it to be the end of the world, but then I made a really good choice.

I joined a few discord servers over this month, and I can't begin to explain just how wonderful that's been for my mental health.

I've made so many new beautiful friends who just mean the world to me, and those new friends along with old friends and my beautiful angel wife who's stuck with me while we both heal, it's just nice.

I wanna say a few words [or a lot words. I'm a yapper] and I jus wanna really detail my appreciation for the following people.

@your-pal-smoochins, my perfect angel wife. You and I have had a lot of things against us. You've been such an amazing support system through these past couple years and I don't tell you enough just how much I love and appreciate everything you do for me. You lift me up when I really need it and I've never felt more loved than when you've been by my side. Thanks for being my rock, my sun moon and stars, and just thank you for being mine. You do so much more than you give yourself credit for, having escaped the situation you were in and going to college. You're so strong, and you're my beautiful angel forever.

@carbonateddelusion Rox! You were one of the first friends I made when everything got locked down and my first memory of you was drawing some of my guys. I dunno if you know but those gifts are still in my phone. I look at those and your newer stuff and I'm just beyond amazed at your progress. You've been a really amazing friend and I love you, man. You really rock, rox [yes that was on purpose]

@toondamien Damien!! one of my very first tumblr friends and the guy who lets me use his oc for my story stuff! You're a little older than me, and as such you've kinda been a role model to me. I still look up to you [metaphorically, hehe] and I'm glad you're my No. 1 DSAF mutual. You're great, dude.

@springlucked Spring. Though we only started talking recently, you are still someone I consider a dear friend. Your fics got me out of some really bad art blocks and my really low days. While Dearly Detested makes me cry and fills me with just the right amount of emotions to break a tree in half, you are so awesome. Your writing is so good and you're so humble when you get gift art from people regarding your fics. You are like a slightly bothersome little sister and for that I love you, ya lil punk.

@dexabite Dex Dane Dexabite Freakabite Miller Jekyll Jade [not real name. obviously] my sworn enemy /j. Your art rocks. Your art inspired a lot of my more detailed pieces and your character design stuff actually made me wanna branch out more not just with character design, but also poses and colors! You're an inspiration to this guy who mainly draws that dumb orange boy and ily /p

@igottoo MJ!! Like if I was a second person! You rock dude. Your art? slaps. Your animation? slaps. Your insane jokes? Slaps. you unintentionally gave me a pose reference that made me leap out of my comfort zone and yknow what? People loved it!! And thats because you're so cool! We scarily have a lot in common so the reasonable assumption is we are in fact the same guy [silly] but i love you to BITS /p. My lagomorphed brethren and the guy I'll be sending my Dave doodles to before showing the public. You're a bro, dawg. As the No. 1 Old Sport fan I'm VERY glad I'm best pals with THE No. 1 Dave Miller fan.

thank you all for being my friends. You guys make my heart full and make me wanna keep working towards being a good person

[bitter-panacea]

I don't know enough lore to ask anything more in-depth but talk about what goultard and arty like about each other...

This is really just off the top of my head so I'm certainly going to miss some other aspects

Goultard and Arty have similar experiences with being rejected, misunderstood, feared, hated by society.

Goultard gets called "a humanoid creature" (implying that even if he somewhat looks like a human he's not one), "a scourge", "a demon", "not really a man"

Galgarion : The first issue concerns a humanoid creature that went berserk and rampaged through an entire neighborhood north of Bonta. Starting with the tower of the wealthy Homar Cherif!

Arty's treated a little differently than Goultard solely because he's a dragon. He's alienated while being put on a kind of pedestal. Clustus says just being in his presence is a privilege in itself.

Galgarion : Excuse me? A privilege to meet this monster? He's a murderer, no more no less!

And its true in a way, they're relentless forces of nature who've commited atrocities when pushed to their limits. But amidst the chaos, the fire and blood, they found each other, saw each other. They see each other for who they truly are, understand and accept each other whole, like nobody else ever could.

When Goultard finds Arty has lost control of himself, blind with rage, killing and destroying everything in sight, he doesnt hesitate a second and immediately offers himself to him. You need to take this anger out on someone, and thats what im here for. Goultard longs for someone who can rival with his strength. A fight he knows he might not come back from.

Goultard : Since you need to take it out on someone... and I'm looking for new challenges myself... I offer you a good fight.

Arty isn't scared to take it out on Goultard, he doesn't feel guilty about almost killing him, because he knows Goultard can take it. With him he can indulge the pent-up rage and violence that comes with being a fire dragon.

They love and need each other because they can keep up with each other.

Before that, when Vald was controlling the body, fully amnesiac and unaware that he's a part of Goultard's system, Arty risked his life to protect him. Something no one had ever done for him. He deserves to be looked out for and protected too.

Arty : I'm a feca... I protect... even dumbasses... like you! / Vald: This is the first time someone risks their life for me...

Goultard was still conscious of what was going on and got attached to arty very quickly.

Goultard : Arty!!! There's something you need to know... I have a lot of affection for you! It’s been a long time since this happened to me. It doesn't matter if you understand... With you I really feel like I'm getting back a little humanity!

Goultard's feelings for arty keep growing, which immensely bothers the symbiote, and he eventually abandons Goultard as a weird manipulation technique to later try to get him back. But the plan backfires. Without the symbiote, Goultard is at rock bottom, he latches on to arty and becomes devoted to him. Arty freed him and Goultard owes him.

Goultard : Don't act stupid... Don't leave me alone! What am I going to become if you leave me too? Don't abandon me!!!

Since the very beginning, Arty has a mission that he is determined to achieve, whatever it takes. Goultard deciding to assist him means the world to Arty. He's the very first person who joined Arty on his quest, who believed in his cause but most importantly believed in him, accepted him as a leader. They're extremely loyal to each other.

Arty isnt only the leader, he sometimes takes a role of caretaker for Goultard. Gou heavely relies on him, he allows himself to be totally vulnerable when he's with him. Arty comforts him, calms him down, takes decisions for him, but he also doesn't hesitate to beat him up when he's acting stupid.

Goultard worrying about his lost pet jelly and Arty comforting him. Arty : Alright, that's it! Come give me a big hug! / Goultard : You think she's okay? / Arty : I'm sure she's doing fine!

Goultard needs someone he can surrender to. To give up the fight just for a while. Just like a child, let himself be someone else's responsibility. I believe for two reasons :

Reason 1 - Because Goultard had been made to feel responsible very early in his life. He was tasked with protecting an entire village from monsters since he was just a child. The villagers clearly had no appreciation for him and his mother until he proved he could be useful to them.

Goultard and his mother, Cabotine, both sacrificed to protect the village from taurs. Cabotine : I wonder who the real monsters are, in this world!

Idolized and respected only as long as he fought for them

Young Goultard being cheered on by the villagers after beating Kriture the taur. (He looks even younger in the Goultard special episode than he does in the manga, which breaks my heart)

Great power comes with great responsibility. It comes with unbearable guilt as well. We can see Goultard feels responsible for a lot of the things that have happened to him, even if he had no control over them. He says multiple times that the murder of his wives and children was "all his fault".

Reason 2 - His past with the symbiote. I personally think that understanding Goultard's relationship with the symbiote and the trauma it caused, gives you a fuller comprehension of his relationship with Arty. When he was with the symbiote he was a brutal killing machine but he was under total subjugation, always at the symbiote's mercy. Sequestered and tortured in his own body and mind. But he was never alone and he was desired. The symbiote was OBSSESSED with him. Goultard isn't a prey like any other, he's the favorite, he's the perfect host and he knows it. And whether Goultard loved or hated the symbiote it didnt matter as long as he was his, he never had the choice anyway. (Will probably make an illustrated post focusing on Goultard and the symbiote because there's so much to say)

They're also really stupid and love to beat up people together and theyre best bros 💕

There's probably like a million other things I forgot but I've got to get this thing over with (there's now a part 2)