#but thats never worked in the past and theres that whole thing of ''if u want help u need to ask for it''

[piplupod]

.

[ofc-vi-writes-too]

so all ive been able to think about is gotham for the past several days, and more specifically how gothamite culture has to be SO drastically different and jarring to literally anywhere else in the world. Like even other super cities like metropolis, or central city, or wherever else are at least KINDA normal. Like yea u have superman or wonderwoman or the flash but they dont really have to deal with the same level of bs as Gotham.

That being said here are a list of things that I think are extremely normal to Gotham, and other things that happen in thay horrible little city:

• the episode of Hot Ones with Brucie Wayne where no one thinks he’ll even be able to stand the 2nd or 3rd wing but he eats all of them with no reaction, and Sean Evans (or the in universe equivalent) just sits there like “wow no one has ever had literally no reaction before this is really crazy, and Bruce Wayne of all people?” Afterwards Bruce has second thoughts and realizes that maybe he should have played up his reaction to the spice a bit more. People Inside of Gotham are a little shocked because everytime he eats in public it is the most boring, bland, flavorless food imaginable. (he handled the spice so well because Batman is ready for all potential threats and forms of torture. Ridiculous levels of spice included)

• Gotham schools offer courses in self defense. In some school districts its actually mandatory, thats usually in old gotham or downtown gotham. In more affluent areas, self defense is still taught in schools, but most kids are sent to some ritzy trainer to make sure they can defend themselves.

• No one even blinks when theres a new vigilante by the time Damian comes around. Theres still a little buzz but by the time Duke shows up, people are like “Oh cool another one. HEY BRO WHATS YOUR NAME.” I saw someone post here about how when the Wayne kids get mad at Bruce, they go to Selina and make public appearances as Stray, Catwomans sidekick. I personally believe that Tim was the first one to do it but Dick does it the most, and gothamites didnt even need to get used to Stray showing up sometimes, nor did people really care that Stray was always wildly different heights, shapes, colors, etc. the additude is kinda like “I have taxes and job security to worry about. If a new vigilante is what were doing then so be it.”

• People tend to think that Gothamites aren’t smart, but that city is home to the Richest, smartest, most creative people alive. They mostly just lack morals. Like Dr. Freeze, Harley Quinn, hell even The Riddler are all insanely intelligent. Half of Gothams Villains have at minimum 2 Doctorates in something or other. Gotham generates a lot of cash as a whole, and small businesses thrive there. They have high employment rates, and most citizens have their associates despite everything happening around them. People who have never been to Gotham before expect to have to talk down to the citizens but Gothamites just kinda roll their eyes at them and carry on about their merriment.

• Gothamites CONSTANTLY says “because I’m Batman” when they don’t want to explain themselves. Kids hear it a lot from parents and they also get “If you don’t go to sleep, Condiment Man i gonna come and cover you in stinky relish.” Because truly what else is condiment man good for.

• Gothamites who work at BatBurger and typically work the night shift are used to visits from Batman, Robin, Red Hood, Cat Woman, Harley Quinn, etc. Sometimes they remember the workers and ask about their family, and how life is, and other things like that. Theres some barely 18 y/o who just graduated high school who worls at Bat Burger, and asked Red Hood to help him impress his gf by saying theyre friends. He like fuck it why not and tells the gf that the kid helped him save an old lady’s cat in a tree and now theyre bffs. She totally believes it. Score.

• I see the Gotham thinks Batman is Bruce Wayne’s boyfriend theories and raise you: Its pretty common knowledge that Bruce Wayne is Batman, just no one has the heart to tell him. Also theyre scared he will quit if anyone brings it up. So from this Gothamites created the joke that BW and batman are dating and when asked about it in an interview, dick grayson is like “……yes! My adoptive father is dating the guy who dressed up like a bat every night…!”

• this cuased and arguement between Bruce and Dick because no! Bruce isnt dating Batman! (stray was seen again that week) HE IS BATMAN! But fuck now the public thinks theyre a couple so now bruce gets asked about it and hes like “haha yes my spooky bat bf is who i love very dearly!” As punishment He makes Dick bring him flowers in the batsuit because “as far as he is concerned, this is his shithead son’s fault.” Thats a direct quote btw. Little does he know this somehow ties back to Tim Drake before they met.

[plutonianeris]

pick a pile: how does this new love feel like a fairytale? ⛓️💗

this is a general reading so take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Interpret & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. messages can be either from you, them or both🍒

𓆩♱𓆪Pile one

right off the bat this is someone whose been eyeing you for a while. they could be the type that stare in awe at the pictures you post on social media “so pretty” or when they met you that have that immediate attraction.. “who is that?” lol them asking their friends when you walk in. this honestly feels like a fairytale because theyve been wanting you for a while but theyve been super patient i heard “no hard feelings” theyre actually so sweet (im getting water sign suns: cancer, pisces, scorpio energy oop 🙈).

like they have no problem admiring you from afar at alllll. they are mesmerized by you. and honestly they could have been a little toxic before meeting you (not abusive, but someone unable to share their emotions in a healthy way). it seems like they dont want u to see them in the shades and shadows of their trauma, wounds, healing. for them you are the light at the end of that tunnel. i heard “my day was pretty shitty until you showed up” they are willing to work hard for you. they are also very attractive & in an unconventional way (unique hair, being really tall, tattoos, something like that makes them stand out especially in their friend group).

💌letter from their pov;

I know you dont need me. you dont really look like the type to depend on anyone. I can see it in the way you eye people, especially men, with suspicion. you question my motives and thats fair. when youre that beautiful and charming, theres bound to be people that just want to use you. that are dying to be in you energy just to get the chance to say they were in your presence. i dont wanna be like that. i dont wanna be another read message in your phone. i dont wanna be another face that disappears in the crowd for you. and i know you feel that way too. that the worst thing for you isnt to be talked about. its to be ignored. its to be underestimated. trust me when i say since the moment i laid eyes on you, i never once doubted you. i know you are capable of bringing men to their knees with your eyes. i know that your laugh makes my pulse speed up. i know that you make me feel special. and sometimes i get jealous, wondering if you make other people feel that way too. I want to give you the whole world if you just let me.

𓆩♱𓆪Pile two

this new love feels like a fairytale because this happened in the moment when you’re least expecting it and also after you’re recovering from something. Whether it be a relationship break up with a partner or you just changing things in your life, like moving to a different neighborhood or no longer believing in certain things that were very important in your belief systems in the past. this is like a prince or princess, waiting to rescue you. At first, though it seems like you’re suspicious of this energy. You could find that they are way too good with their words. “too good to be true” “I bet you say that to all the girls/guys” energy. but honestly, it seems like you’re the only one that can keep up with them. You don’t give into them like other people do, and they constantly want to impress you by telling you random facts or teaching you about some thing they learned abroad or when traveling.

I am getting a sense that they are very flirty, but with other people it never goes past that it’s just something they do in the moment or theyre just really playful. But even as they’re talking to someone else, their eyes can’t seem to leave you even if you’re across the room. You like your routine and consistency so changing things about your own life is hard, much less accepting other people in. So when they flirt with you, you might not immediately flirt back. you might roll your eyes, but you can’t help but smile when they turn away. you could be someone with earth placements, especially capricorn or virgo. They give off a lot of mischievous energy. This other person could have a gemini placement, third house placements or ninth house placements (if ur into astro).

💌letter from their pov;

Relationships have never really been a priority for me. I mean, cmon I'm young. Isn't it the whole point to experience as much as I can? I know other people have things to say about me.. maybe I lead some people on. Maybe sometimes you feel that way too. But I promise it's not really like that. Well, with you, it isn't. I'm just inexperienced. And I guess that doesn't really stop me from flirting so much and being so cocky…But the truth is I crave your attention badly. You look like you really know what you want in life. And for me, that's all I ever wanted. Because when you know what you want, you get it. and thats when you really start living. After that, even our mistakes are our own and beautiful and intimate in their own way. I see the weariness in your eyes when you look at me. I know you're wondering if I am even worth your time. I promise I am. I promise I can be. And if I'm not, then you can just never speak to me right then and there, I swear. But I know there's more than weariness in your gaze as well. I know you are just as curious about me as I am about you.

𓆩♱𓆪Pile three

This love feels like a dark romance. This pile is not as lighthearted as the previous two at all. It feels like a fairytale in that "magical" sense though because it will feel like love at first sight. You both will feel immediately physically attracted to the other but what makes it even more intense is that at first no one seems to be able to make the first move. It might seem too good to be true to the point where you don't even wanna disturb the "illusion." You dont wanna burst the bubble. Also, the magnetic attraction you feel/ that slow burn makes it even more desirable for both of you. In synastry, you both might have a lot of conjunctions (especially with pluto, moon, and mars). I also pulled north node synastry as well (and this synastry makes it feel like you're meant to be aka its destiny. but its also uncomfortable). "I have never felt like this before" energy.

Honestly, I see this pile as being able to go both ways and it can easily make you feel heartbroken. You might have venus-pluto placements yourself or 8th house placements or they do. When you are together though, you both hate when other people interrupt. You love your alone time. It feels really good. This pile is all about intense eye contact, glancing down at each others lips, meeting in secret, getting jealous when other people try to talk to the other, hands brushing as you walk but never fully touching. But then devouring each other when alone (if you both end up trusting each other when to get there because, again, one of you or both are hesitating). If you open your heart and learn to trust and communicate in a healthy manner, it could be a life changing connection.

💌letter from their pov;

It feels wrong to fantasize about you the way I do. But I can't really help it. I think about the way your back would feel arched under my palm. your lips on mine, tongues meeting, teeth clashing. I look at your hands and imagine them gripping the sheets at the same time I grip your thighs. It feels wrong that these are things that have crossed my mind since I first met you. sometimes I try to lie to myself. Tell myself that maybe im not really that into you. but its such bullshit. even then, theres the what if. what if. what if. it looks like every odds are against us. we are complete opposites. it might never work. but im willing to take that risk. im willing to bet on us. even if it falls apart. but judging from the way you freeze up when we make eye contact I know its far beyond that. I know you felt it too. the day we met, how you paused. i know that we would love hard. and fall harder. and if it doesnt work out, it would be devastating. and yet, i would still decide to do it all over again. and you would too. life is too short. I dont want us to be a what-if.

[puhpandas]

What about beckory is so appealing to you? /gen

outside of them themselves and my own personal preference, them being a mlm ship and also not canon and completely hypothetical are huge factors to me. it's so interesting building them up in all of these different interpretations since theres not much canon to go off by, but the canon we DO have is really good

and now speaking of the ship itself the last point I made applies because ggy the book is just. really good. when you read it for the first time it's fine but then you reread it and notice things and look deeper and you find all of these things making the friend group you thought was average way more deep and you see everyones flaws, and that makes them interesting. the book revolves around tony and ggy so we get the most about them, and what it shows us about them makes me claw at the walls

it showed us how tony is obsessive when it comes to mysteries because of his dad being put in prison and how he cant handle not getting to the bottom of a mystery because of it, and that obsession has driven a wall between everyone and him. then he meets the most mysterious guy in the universe Rab and he becomes obsessed with ggy to an unhealthy degree while also slowly starting to prefer greg over his best friend since he was 4 (which like how am I not supposed to like the ship when tony inadvertently became obsessed with Gregory throughout the whole book that's so funny😭)

they're both flawed people and even outside of ggy Tony's relationship with Gregory is almost purely hypothetical since they never actually met. but making aus or story ideas where tony survives after the end of ggy has so many possibilities for his and Gregory's relationship

theres a whole new world if you think tony dies and Gregory mourns later on when he gets freed, theres whole new worlds if tony goes on a quest to save Gregory or if Gregory fights back against ggy to save Tony's life or whatever could happen. everything u could think of has potential and it could all be unique and different and could hit off their relationship in tons of different ways

and their relationship has so many directions it could go becuase of their respective characters. in my personal interpretation of them, Tony's obsession doesnt go away after he survives the ggy attack and he tries to track down greg after he goes missing after the attack, and when he finds him it's a year later and greg isnt actually greg at all but Gregory. to me the idea of tony having an idea of Gregory in his head that was never him and that he has to unlearn would cause drama between them but it makes their bond stronger. tony has to get worse before he can get better to me, and that playing out with Gregory as they get older is so good to me

and amneisiac gregory is one of my fave things so the idea that Gregory slowly remembered tony over the course of living with 3 star fam and had an idea of him too, and when he shows up on his doorstep hes excited to meet him and the fact that tony is from Gregory's past thats a whole mystery to him he means a lot to him immediately

I guess tldr they're so interesting to me because they have all the potential in the world and a thousand different things you could do with them, but also their characters themselves are already just so interesting and fleshed out that it's fun to see how they could get to a relationship from their starting points and how flawed they are. they're not immediately compatible and they have so much about themselves and their personal stuff to work through at the time they meet but they go through growth together and it makes them rlly close. they make eachother better people as they get older :)

[wolvertooth]

can you plz hate rant about the deadpool & wolverine movie… saw it last week and i didn’t like it all… very refreshing to see that someone shares my opinion lmao

i got u man👍 most of this was in my drafts from after the movie came out, but i just never got around to posting it. i added some other opinions ive had since then, tho theres still a lot ive said over the past month that ive totally forgotten about lol

the intro sequence was fucking HYPE‼️ but then, part way thru the movie, u realize....it doesnt ever hit that same mark again. WHERE TF WAS THE HUGH JACKMAN SONG THEY PROMISED? the trailers showed 95% xmen origins clips. the movie didnt mention it once. no the brothers line doesnt count. false fucking advertising. deadpools sexuality has been confirmed since 2014. and now, 10 years later, its still being reduced to gay jokes. and people still eat it up like its genuine rep.

that guy at the tva who’s whole punchline was that he likes men. why. in 2024. why is that allowed. his whole character was a gay joke. i mean so was deadpool, but this guys whole thing was. That. can i say homophobia? can i say i felt that? is that reasonable? this movie felt like a fundraiser for the future avengers movies to make up for all the recent flops.

i watched this shit twice and yea. i was right. the plot was half assed. once u watch it once, thats it. thats the fun. its all just cameos. the jokes didnt even make me laugh again, since it was majority shock based humor. my second watch thru i was trying not to fall asleep in my chair. the way it lacks plot isnt in the Not Coherent kind of way, but rather 'this couldve been a 40 minute monster of the week episode'....or maybe even a 2 episodes if they wanted to get freaky with it it just felt so separate from the rest of the movies, like it wasnt even a sequel.

literally, the movie begins with them abandoning the previous timeline and wade moving to a new ‘better’ one.....almost like hes moving over to a more sacred timeline.........separate from fox.........which is dumb af cuz the movie couldve been him accepting that whatever happens in ur life u cant go back and change, and u have to make due with the good u already have. the previous movie ended with him having a family, he didnt need a new one. i mean, they did that for logans 'learning moment', why wouldnt that also apply to wade? paradox literally says ‘hey we brought u in cuz the mcu is dying, so u should come over to the sacred timeline’ and then after he changes into his costume THEY CHANGE THE PLOT. THEY THROW THAT OUT. WITHIN MINUTES. now paradox is like ‘actually just your timeline is dying, and i wont elaborate on how that works. and also u dont get to go to the sacred timeline. and i hate you.’ WHY BRING HIM THERE AT ALL THEN IF THATS THE PLOT U CHANGED IT TO? ITS DOESNT MAKE SENSE. even if the plot was that he had to go to the sacred timeline cuz his own was dying, WHY WOULDNT HE BE ABLE TO BRING HIS FRIENDS?

what was the vanessa plot? they never explain why she broke up with him? theres like a tiny flashback where she says hes been distracted ever since he got rejected, rejected from what? clearly not the avengers, since that happens after she leaves him. so wtf was the motive here????? the cameos felt like props. especially the deadpool corps, which i feel like they didnt even skim a wiki article for. they just went off google images. which hurt me. cuz i reallyyyyy like those guys....in the comics, theyre a group of deadpools(consisting of lady deadpool, kidpool, headpool, dogpool, and deadpool), who in their first series save the multiverse from being destroyed(sound familiar?). theyre the GOOD GUYS. why tf would they hear cassandra nova say ‘hey im gonna kill the entire multiverse’ and go ‘alright sure whatever’. why were they in the void to begin with? how’d they get there? isnt the void just for movie continuities anyway? why was cassandra also there? how does the void work? why does the void exist? will someone please explain literally anything in this movie? why not have them come in later to save the fucking day instead??

oh lady deadpool...how they massacred ur character... OH KIDPOOL.....HOW THEY MASSACRED UR CHARACTER...... god speaking of that. cassandra nova had literally so much potential and they watered her down to just Evil Villain. she hasnt done much in the comics, but one the things she did in one them was using her powers for therapy on the xmen(which deadpool also made a cameo in). she sort of does this briefly in that one scene, but it was just so.....basic. bland. why was there no b plot with the rest of the main cast. did they think the audience doesnt watch these movies for them? cuz i sure fucking do. i was waiting for the continuation of colossus and wades epic romance arc. side note, the gay jokes in the previous movies felt even less queerbaity then these ones. this movies queerbaiting was just....sad. marketing queerbaiting. this movie WISHES it couldve been deadpool 2 levels of queerbait(shoutout to the extended sex mimicking scene set to In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel)

did anyone catch at the end when deadpool was narrating and when he said ‘friends’ yukio and negasonic teenage warhead were on screen. did anyone see that. they disney gal paled them.

i know wade is supposed to be the Funny Guy but man. thats literally all he was this movie. the other ones has ANGST they had him be HUMAN while this one was like 'logan was mean to me one time ):' bro. what happened. where'd the writers go.

this wolverine was like. the wolverine 2014 wolverine. which is when fox wolverine started to lose character and just become grumpy and mean. hes also like that in Logan 2017, but the reason why this kinda attitude works in that one is bcuz hes old, hes fucked up, hes tired, and every fuck that comes outta his mouth he means it. and yet....still manages to experience other emotions. what a concept. ive read literal satire comics that understood his character more(shoutout to the What The--?! series). it just had me waiting for the 'gotcha! this wolverine is actually 3 dimensional!' but it never fucking got there. it was amusing in the beginning, but by like half way in, i did not give a single fuck about this guy. they tried to give him some emotional moment(like. the only emotional moment in the entire film) but it just...lacked the emotion. just 'heres my sad backstory. are u sad now?' and then they did the SAME THING AGAIN no we get it man u were at the bar instead of with ur friends and u went on a classic wolverine style berserker rage. why should we care tho?

i mean, sure, they could use the excuse of being in the type of depressive state where ur emotions numb out(speaking as a mfer with the came curse), and yea hes not the kinda guy to open up about his emotions unless he really trusts someone(which he would likely distance himself from forming connections with others after that kind of trauma), but with cassandra nova right there there was a missed opportunity for elaborating on that. for digging deep into his brain and telling why this fucked him up so bad. imo, if i were to write it, with everyone he gets close to he puts upon the expectation for himself that hes at fault for anything that happens to them. that he needs to be the savior, even in a friendship. to prove himself to be worth something. especially after a life of being convinced hes a burden by just existing as himself, he needs to have use in order to make up for the fact that hes Logan.

but whos going to save him? isnt he struggling too? whos gonna help you? looking at all the other logans across the multiverse, who is the wolverine? why do you keep falling for the same patterns no matter where you are and who you are? deadpool called sabretooth queen and she/her'd logan within like 5 seconds of eachother. that was pretty good ig

final verdict:

yknow. i think i get now the way fans reacted the way they did tho.

the other night i was rewatching the movie Hackers with my mom, saying that it was obvious the creators mustve known a lot about hacking in order to do such a good parody of it, out of love for the craft….but my knowledge of hacking is pretty minimal, so i have no actual fucking clue if that assumption is accurate or not. im just going off of a ton of references to hacking. for all i know, real hackers couldve hated this movie.

and thats how the average non comic fan saw this movie. they saw a buncha characters and references and thought ‘damn, they must really love the source material’ without knowing how much of a kick in the face it felt like to watch them get used and butchered like that.

[zoyo14]

dont kill me pls

uh, controversial opinion, i didnt like the MD finale

[spoilers/ranting]

now dont get me wrong, i feel like the ending was fine, but the trip to get to said ending? ehhhhhhhhhhhh..

the animation is like, the greatest, prob the greatest in the entire series. however, the writing for that episode feels under cooked. like, theres too many plot holes, too many lose ends, the pacing is absolute dog water.

but the biggest issue? N and Uzi's personalities changed. Uzi reverted back to pilot emo gremlin, and N turns into strictly Uzi support with PTSD.

like, idk, i feel like N really didnt do anything, like, you could prob remove him from the episode and it would be more or less the same. and if you look at the merch?

feral N? decapitating J??? i dont think N earned this, that didnt happen. im 99% sure N doesnt even lay a finger on J that whole episode, the most he even interacts with J is writing the "I O U one spaceship" note. like, the N that was teased and shown in the merch vs the N in the actual episode is not the same person. [no i dont mean that literally]

Vs stand? she 'died' fighting the sentinels, Uzi's? she sacrificed herself fighting the solver/cyn, N's? he didnt do that, eldritch J doesnt even show up in the finale, N doesnt really even fight outside of supporting Uzi and V, none of the DDs even get X visors for that matter.

alot of the characters feel useless i think. like, khan doesnt really do anything, nori doesnt really do anything, thad and lizzy, N, hell, even J. this episode just kinda boils down to Uzi vs Cyn with strong support from V. wouldnt be so much of an issue if Uzi hadnt had her time to shine in episode 7 aswell, like, everything before this was building up for N to take a grand stand or something. he should be PISSED at Cyn, everything and everyone hes ever loved got stripped from him because of Cyn, he literally DIED for Cyn back at the manor, only to watch as himself and V are mutilated and transformed into the DDs, and he gets dumped on a planet where hes abused by J for god knows how long, and when he finally starts to stand up for himself, make a friend/lover in Uzi, reconnect with V, they end up 'dying' right in front of him, FOR him aswell.

all of that stress, all of that fear, all of that anger, and what does N do when he gets back to the surface? sees J working with Cyn? sees Cyn literally destroying the planet? hell, even comes face to face with Cyn?? he just stands there in fear. weve seen N push past his fear before, weve seen N confront Cyn before, so why now is he just standing there? or the one point in the fight where he stops because Cyn flashes a picture of a dog on her visor, like, that shouldnt of have stopped him. thats the person he should hate the most in the universe right now, giving him second thoughts over a png of a random dog. like, huh???????

N also never gets a resolution to his literal years of CONSTANT abuse from J. the only time N lays hands on J is episode 2 with eldritch J. who fights J the whole finale? V. whos pissed at J for betraying them? V. but whos decapitating J in the mural? N. huh? what? why??? also this is a minor nitpick, but in the ending where N yells "THATS MY GIRLFRIEND!!! :D" that doesnt seem like an N thing to do, like, N is a very humble character, he doesnt come off as the type to brag about having a gf.

not to mention Uzi, omg. i think in the finale Uzi is just being a dickhead. for example, when N recovers her he openly says and expresses that hes angry at her for what she did, and what does she do? she headbutts him and calls him a bitch. now lets consider V. what does she do upon finding out N is alive? she apologizes profusely, UNPROVOKED.

what does Uzi do upon seeing V is fine? she makes a deadpan comment about how shes happy V is alive. now tbf, she does look back and give a genuine smile, just to say like "hey, im being serious tho", but like, still, damn Uzi.

another thing i dont like is how serious moments keep getting ruined by jokes. every time something devastating happens, you either dont get time to process it before gets resolved, or the tension is destroyed by a joke.

N getting his core ripped out for example, the second i started to panic, like "OH GOD CYN HAS N'S CORE-" his core is back in his body and hes fine after like 10 seconds. every 'fake out' death in that episode doesnt work, because it gets resolved in literally 20 seconds or less. but i feel thats more a result of the serious pacing issues in the episode.

the episode is 20 minutes, whatever, but keep in mind, MD: Intermission, THE FAN EPISODE, is about 21 minutes long. thats right, A FAN EPISODE MADE BY A COLLEGE STUDENT WAS LONGER THAN THE FINALE. WHAT????????

overall i just think the finale comes off as incredibly rushed, hell, even the merch seems rushed. now im not gonna point any fingers, but certain items seem kindaaaa, ehhhhhhh [cough cough, cat V plush, Cyn plush, and random sticker sheet that just uses the animatez box art]

but yea, thats my 2 cent about the MD finale, overall im prob gonna forget about that episode and go read fic rewrites or something

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

hi, im a mutual of yours who is too shy/on&off tumblr to interact, but i do look up to you; and your blog and way of seeing things helped me in the past when i was struggling quite a bit.

Lately I feel as if im lost in life, lost my passions and floating aimlessly without a real goal, detached from the future etc. Do you have any advice? I appreciate ur view on things, hope this isnt overstepping 🌦🌈

hi its ok no pressure too interact w me ona personal level just cus were mutuals i enjoy the ambient bonds that can form on this website its why i stay ^^ and no it's not overstepping at a;ll sorry it took me a lil while to respond i was trying to think of good advice since i often feel lost too---

well firs t n foremost to give credit where credit is due, this bjork reddit AMA response really gets to the bottom of it , ever since i first read this here on tumbr a few years ago it really rly stuck w me:

the way this answer helped me is like, it helped me realize i dont need to be so regimented i dont need to put all this pressure on myself to create..All that does is feed into self inflicted guilt when i cant live up to my own expectations u.u you see for my whole life i've never been able to plan anything. yes i can think about the next steps i want to take, i can assemble a plan, i can see the logical way forward, but my moods. or like, idek. how to explain..

i cant force anything. if im not feeling it, i cant force it. ive STRUGGLED w this like i dont wanna be this way. because my feelings i cant predict. like for example i worked on music all winter because thats what i was feeling. then suddenly in march i just like, wasnt feeling it all of a sudden. As soon as it hit me i was like Fy767*T&UG*** because i didnt know when it was gonna come back. i still dont know!! im just trying to be patient waiting it out..in the mean time i have suddenly become enthused with drawing again after not ~feeling~ drawing for most of 2023. sometimes i go for weeks where i dont take a single photo and then suddenly it starts flowing again.. my website was also left untouched for most of 2023 until recently.

thats just one example of this repeating pattern in my life that i didnt understand for so long. theres years of my 20s where i couldnt feel passion for anything at all, looking back now i believe those times i was meant to be focusing on stuff in my psyche that needed healing to clear out some headspace for art. and this bjork quote put a lot into perspective it showed me how to reformulate my thinking to be more accomodating to my disposition. when i'm patient & kind w myself, take each day as it comes, let go of the imaginary pressure, let go of "the future", stuff starts to come thru easier.

and maube its gonna show up in ways you dont expect but its true that the mundane world offers so many ways to practice being creative & giving u stuff to weave into the art u want to create.. every water fall starts w a single drop its trueits true :] thats my advice i spose i really didnt meant to write this much but im boooored.. actually my nighttime boredom writing is one of those habits i never considered to b creative until very recently. there's so many small & automatic things we do that can lead to a meaningful life & purpose.

thanks for the question anon i hope this helps in some way , this is whats helped me but everyone's process is different. and i still have moments where im like WTFFF is happening but its easier to ride it out now. i wish the same for you just give it time <3 thanks again xPmd9

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 155 spoilers n thoughts below cut etc u know the drill

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bug when u lift a rock

i love when he has lil soft smileys like this theyre his best look heehee

THIS IS WHAT MY BRAIN WAS MELTING OVER EARLIER TODAY BTW. IM GOING INSANE

THIS HAD ME SHIVERING . TREMBLING LIKE A WET CAT. "when someone really misses another person... they might meet again here." GHH . HGGGGG AAAAAHHH

ok sorry uh. i dont have much insight this time around im just going insane over it,,, a place that represents happy memories and promises to stay together and yet suho has returned here, unable to hold onto both without the ache of loss bc his parents r gone AAAGGHHHG AA

how cruel how cruel how cruel,,, cruel reminders of what he can never return to,,, WHICH MAKES HIM SAYING "i already met my family." SOOO HEARTACHE TO ME

ok sorry im jumping ahead a bit but yeah suho feeling at home as a frontera and moving forward, beyond the memories and the past,,, im gonna THROW UP what the FUCK

ok bouncing back to some sillies this ep LOL

A MAN ON A FUCKING MISSION 😭 LLOYD U MONSTER HAHAA javier being happy that lloyds back to his motivated self tho makes me so happy WEEHEEHEE

ALSO JAVIER IMMEDIATELY BECOMING SOCMED FAMOUS IS SO FUNNY HAHAHAHA honestly the ppl who r taking pics. so real. me too. i can only imagine how insanely pretty javier would b if he was in our world,,, his protagonist-level good looks are dimensional constants .

i am a little bit confused as to why javier said this considering he was so ready to bring lloyd back at all costs when they first got here? mmm maybe his worries were quelled when they were taking the mountain trail to the tower? im not quite sure,,, maybe i missed smth

ALSO HIS FRIEND OMGGG

IM SO GLAD WE GOT TO SEE HIM AGAIN hes working construction now too!!! wahoo!!! hes still got that face tho lol

OH OH AND THE COP CHASE RIGHT

javier folding the clothes is so silly hes such a good lil guy 😭 vs lloyd just leaving them scattered LMAOOO it was nice of them to leave a note n the gold for the cop guys tho!!

i also liked that the cops kept fucking posing thru out the whole ep HAHAHA ive never seen jjba but its like jjba level posing theyre so silly

AND FINALLY YAA THEY GOT ALL THE MATERIALS SECURED

i rlly liked javiers lil "!!" at the bottom here HEHEHE

so so happy they got the stuff!!!! restoration of fate can SUCK AN EGG THEYRE GONNA BEAT IT!!!! hopefully

afaik theres no telling what the jewel of truth is gonna actually say abt fighting fate,,, or whether or not the jewel will give the answer that easily,,, hopefully it goes smoothly lloyd deserves a break atp 😭😭😭

also how r they gonna put the thing together havent they been flying over the ocean w draggy recently . werent the mermaids tryna figure out who was commanding draggy so that they could sic em for opening that portal to hell 😭 WILL THAT B A PROBLEM? (dont actually answer that)

man oh man milestone achieved but still so much to do for these guys,,,, i wanna put them in a box and contain them and let them have a break they deserve it

ok thats it for now,,, if i start brainrotting again ill prolly post abt it here or on twitter,,, see yall next week!!!!

[ilynpilled]

Do u believe that Jaime might kill Cersei and then himself at the end of the series? I saw other page theorizing about him killing himself as a final act or something like that…

i think about jaime and suicide a lot bc i do think it is a permeating theme with him in many ways, and he does do a lot of passive suicidal ideation. he is one of the characters who does not fear death really and is reckless in a way that it is clear that part of him seems drawn to it because of his existential dread. idk bc the thing is that i do think that “what else can i do, but die?” passage indicates the opposite of an ending with suicide specifically, and i think there are themes relevant to him here that i think are more likely to be followed through rather than be tragically rejected:

nonetheless, theres a certain part of me that is morbidly drawn to him succumbing to despair anyway. like if he dies with valonqar, i think thats the only way i would actually like it. i was never someone that felt particularly moved by the “poetry” or “irony” of dying together because i always thought all of that is much richer if it is treated as desperate self affirming delusion that is bound to collapse. and we already see jaime reject dying with her once. there is a visible degree of acceptance of their fates not being entwined that is not feigned bc he did actually leave her to her fate and no longer feels the obligation to die with her, pretty clearly juxtaposed with his mindset in asos where he revolves his life around her “needing” him, and ofc cersei’s own desperate narrative rn. and i think george writing it so they can die exactly at the same time doesnt just feel unrealistic but also would hurt the weight of the scene to me because it would give me no aftermath. a wall falls on them both? valonqar doesnt even happen then. jaime killing cersei and then a wall falls on him or some shit? whats the point? double suicide? where is the ‘betrayal’ and irony and subversion of the jc dynamic’s narrative? cersei’s mindset is proven right. cersei kills him? idk if that works with cersei’s tragedy/betrayal/shock + how would she? he’s injured from something else and makes sure to bring down cersei with him? ig, still feel eh about it. if it happens, i wouldnt feel that much about anything thats not an actual suicide after a murder. and even then, it would make more sense for jaime to attempt suicide by rushing into the nearest battle/suicide mission based on his established characterization. that is the type of act that would be in character rather than just falling on a sword then and there ig. u can argue that the choice itself of him going back can be framed as a suicide attempt where he wants to go down with a sinking ship bc he thinks thats what he deserves, and ofc depending on when this happens the city might be beyond saving already, but still, the execution and circumstances matter to me. i also obviously dont want it framed as him being unable to live without cersei. i find that reductive of his character and boring on top of kind of incongruent bc he already made that choice of key separation once. he already proved himself capable of treating their lives as not entwined. i would only like suicide if it was about a complicated and ingrained sense of failure over not being able to triumph over reckoning with the world and the self (this is what makes the light go out in the weirwood dream too. cersei leaving is not where it ends), esp bc i assume the whole thing is playing on history repeating itself in the most ironic and dark way imaginable. ofc a bigger part of me wants triumph over that this time and for that flaming sword that he gave brienne to still burn and provide light in “his darkness”, replacing cersei’s torch that she takes with her in the dream as she joins tywin and joffrey and the lannister ancestors and leaves jaime in “the dark”, to represent some deeper purpose also embodied by brienne that allows him to continue past this point (the flames will burn as long as you live when they die so must you), and i also think it works better in a lot of ways. i have talked about widow’s wail currently being in the red keep, the twin swords set up, twftd foreshadowing, how i interpret the prophecies in the weirwood dream and how it works with the past and future etc, even how it all comes together thematically when it concerns knighthood and the cynicism/idealism synthesis. but still, a part of me is attracted to that kind of painful tragedy. im fairly open to a lot of things in general if they are not halfbaked and incongruent and dont make me feel empty in a bad way on top of being unsatisfied. but yeah, when thinking about the narrative as a whole, idk how it could work in a way that id like based on all that i have read.

to me, theres too much cost in terms of set ups, unless it happens at the very end of the story ig. but how would that work logistically? and when and how would he acquire widow’s wail? that sword’s a chekhovs gun for twftd that i think jaime has the most foreshadowing and set up with. what else would he do at the red keep? why put him there again when this part of the story could be wrapped up? like theres a certain order of events that seems to work and make the established pieces fall together much better in my head, but ofc i could be wrong.

[zeltqz]

niyaaaa do u have any tips for people who wanna get into fic writing? 👀

i don’t really get how the whole posting format for fics works on here tbh 😭 and like your info area it’s so cool

YEAH OFC!! btw dm me your username so i can follow and support you <3

tip 1- the posting format isnt that hard to get used to actually its just you create a tumblr text post and then copy and paste your fic onto it, add the tags and stuff then post it. if you want to add banners, headers and stuff to make it look better then go ahead, just add images to the text post

tip 2- the info area is the same as above, just add pictures of your choice etc to the text post, add your information, name, age, fav things etc and then to link posts to your post, highlight where u want the link to go, then copy the link of the post u want linked then press the hyperlink that looks like two chains linked together when you highlight the text if that makes sense? sounds like a lot but its rlly not i promise haha

tip 3- always type your fics on other apps like word or google docs since they have an auto save feature!! i dont reccomend typing your fics on tumblr since one if the app crashes, it doesn't automatically save your work so everything you wrote will get deleted (some versions of tumblr do have autosave, my laptop has it but my phone and iPad doesn't, so i dont rely on it)

tip 4- idk if you want tips on actual fic writing or just how to get your fics onto tumblr but ill help you with that anyway. with me when i write fics i always imagine it out in my head. theres some of my fics where i just went with the flow and wrote wgatever came to mind and those are the fics i hate the most because they dont rlly make sense to me. theyre always so random and it just seems rushed and bad.

i picture my fics like a scene in my head and whatever i want the character to do, think, say or feel i write that shit down asap. i use other online sources to help get more descriptive like the emotion theasurus <- honestly one of my favourite things to use ever, they have so much body language to use for every emotion in the damn book

dialogue is also something i find difficult. i've improved i personally feel like but its still hard for me especially if im writing a new character. i never want to make the character seem OOC so i do lots of research before hand. i normally use the wiki to read up on a characters personality.

for example i'll use ran for this since he's like 99% of my account lmao. in the wiki, he's described as "naturally whimsical toward others which makes him inscrutable" though ran doesnt have many scenes in the manga (which i hate bc i love him sm) its impossible to actually write him down to a tee so i use that naturally whimsical description to make him playful, charismatic, carefree etc, going off what little information i have with him.

getting a characters personality down is what can make or break a dialogue. for me when im reading a fic of a character and their dialogue is so OOC it puts me off and i dont even wanna read. so i apply my same fic icks to myself and think if I don't like seeing this and that in a fic, why would I incorporate those in my fics and have ppl get put off it if they have the same fic icks as me?

hope that makes sense!!

tip 5- dont rush yourself at all. i used to rush a few of my fics and i just ended up hating it so much after and fought bck the urge to delete them so many times but then i'd see people's comments and realise i was being too harsh on myself. i'd keep them up but i'd just hate seeing them get attention.

rushing only makes you hate your work and the quality of your work will decline if you are not in the right headspace.

thats also why i have the don't rush me thing in my rules because not only is it annoying to see people constantly asking for updates, it also makes me mad because i know i'll just put out a piece of garbage if i did rush.

also another tip don't give yourself deadlines!! if you know your writing consistency can be a little sloppy, don't tell your followers that you're going to upload every so and so day. if something happens and you miss the deadline, you'll feel bad and rush something out and most times out of ten, a rushed fic doesn't do well. so take your time and don't rush.

tip 6- dont listen to what other people say or feel obligated to write something you don't wanna. establish your boundaries!! for example, from day one i started this blog i said im accepting requests but i will not write anything to do with non-con, incest or minors. i made sure that was out there so i wouldn't feel uncomforable writing anything i wasn't comfy with.

there are people on this app that may like your writing and request you to write something for them. you are not obligated to write anything for anyone! don't feel like you have to just because they asked nicely.

if you want to accept requests you can im not saying you shouldn't, im saying don't feel like you have to. you always have a choice. its your blog.

tip 7- remember this isn't a job. you're allowed to take breaks, allowed to have a personal life. don't feel like you need to be updating every day. i used to think i was obligated to be uploading consistently at least every week because i was obsesssed with engagement and seeing peoples comments and was scared if i took a break ppl will unfollow. now i honestly don't care. i'm not active as much as i used to because of school and that's fine! if ppl want to leave, let them. don't feel like you're forced to keep being active in order to keep your follower count stable.

tip 8- this app can get really toxic sometimes. luckily enough i've only had one toxic anon in my inbox and i've been on this app for a year. some people have so many, some ppl get harrassed etc. if that happens to you just be prepared since there's no actual way to find out who's behind anons. you can turn off your anon options which means if ppl want to inbox you something then their account will be showing. some people arent comfortable with that and that's fine! i keep mine on because i want people to feel comfortable on my page.

just remember though if you ever feel like this app is getting overwhelming take breaks! for the sake of your mental health take breaks. i know so many writers on here that took breaks and came back healthier and stronger.

i feel like this tip goes for social media in general. as much as i love social media im aware how unhealthy it is. breaks are so important for you. remember that.

i can't think of anymore tips right now but if i have some more i will edit the post and add it on.

if u have anymore questions about the tumblr posting format dm me and ill help you out :))

[motifenjoyer]

❤️️❤️️❤️️ :3

i have multiple wips so i'll talk abt All of them

this may get long, so.

icdwd - aka i couldn't dance with death if i tried!! its a zero escape fic mostly exploring a potential (loveless) relationship between akane and mira. its abt a lot of things i realize i never rlly touched upon in my other works?? for context im aromantic and i like. Constantly talk abt it even to my allo friends esp abt the constant amatonormativity the world likes to throw at us. specfically how ppl feel pressured to be in a relationship. why? well, various reasons: to fit in, to be seen as "more mature" (aspecs tend to experience infantilization and this doubles if ur autistic), to be seen as human, bc u feel like itll make u whole, bc u dont realize theres another option!! ive always hced my favs as aro ever since i realized it, but i always used to focus on the ace part of my identity. so i never rlly got to write a fic that explores aromanticism, aside from a fic i wrote four years ago in which leorio and kurapika hxh r in a qpr

another thing is i have ocd and for that reason, i dont like to write abt sexual topics . but in this fic, ive been sorta delving into that (its literally nothing just a fade to black that immediately goes to like the character waking up in another character's bedroom) and idk i think it shows my growth in a way?? that im willing to finally write that stuff without my ocd trying to kill me??? idk its . smth

im also having a Lot of fun writing akane and miras dynamic. i think, with me hcing them as aro (akanes aroace and miras an aro lesbian), i feel itd stand out more compared to other mirakane fanworks and interpretations . like this isnt a relationship ur supposed to root for!!! its abusive, its messy, its Uncomfortable, gory, and both women have ulterior motives. idk i like writing abt two unabashedly flawed queer women and having them navigate a relationship when one has no experience while the other has experience but whose disability prevents them from connecting w others (akane has a similar struggle), idk!! its an interesting dynamic

queerpei - i like a lot of the descriptions i wrote. im so used to writing akane that its soooo weird writing in the headspace of anyone else. but junpeis introspection is fun, like he has a mind of his own... i have this experience when writing akane (im plural so. go figure) and even when writing diana

angelus custos - so im kinda in the planning stage for this one but . Wow. im so proud of myself and how far ive come with this project, and just in general?? i used to primarily be a fic writer until 2018, when i decided to dabble in making my own characters. its always been bittersweet, bc my friends (all artists, never writers) would tell me to just make ocs instead of fanfic and my 12-14 yr old self would always be upset by that. so my characters never rlly came into their own so to speak

until This Year. ive been watching this rlly awesome youtuber named local script man. he's a screenwriter but a lot of his advice can apply to writing as well. i dont remember which video it was, but he talked abt how a characters' motivations can serve as fuel for smth deeper, like an insecurity for example. which THEN can serve as a backstory. and idky but it all clicked in my head?? character work became so much easier when i applied this to my process. i no longer had trouble w coming up w things that seemed to come naturally to most. bc i Know im good at fleshing out characters, i just needed to know how to do it for original work, even tho ive had friends praise my characters in the past

but yeah thats prob the best part of the story rn . im still having trouble w what their voices would sound like, speech patterns and the like, but thatd prob come around when i actually write the damn thing lol

BtSoyT - the idea itself has me so excited!!! ive been watching some horror movies, specifically recs from my friend @zebatverse hehe, and idk i feel like ive been getting more inspo and knowing what i'd wanna do if i were to write horror . i have several other ideas besides this in my notebook but this is one i wanna write the most. i even made a moodboard for it ^_^

[jsdgfsdf]

Could u tell me some lore about ur OCs like asher and theory :o

Ok I just woke up so sorry if any of this is strung together badlky BUT! Yes! I'll explain both of those guys since you asked but if you wanna know about anyone else you can specify again (And also if you wanna know anything else abt these guys)

Asher......ok starting w the basics here he's supposed to be the main character of a game (Nothing Good Ever Happens it was a working title that stuck) i started working on Feb 2023 i think? And his main premise is he's kinda just a sad little angry dude who doesn't socialize w anyone cus ppl = shit (tfw have to act like you hate everyone to mask the fact that you think everyone hates your guts&every move including when you so much as breathe). You cvan listen to his playlist [here] to get a better grasp of that if you'd like but that is essentially him. He's based off of the 2012/2014 pastel gore omocat tumblr aesthetic too cus thats what i was really into at the time (still am now just less so ig) *Also his voice claim is jonathan coulton i should specify. all of my guys have voice claims i just haven't gotten around to writing his down yet So there you go

He lives in an abandoned apartment that nobody cares abt on the south side of Babylon which has a population of like ~3 ppl/denizens (compared to the at least maybe ~1000 on the north side which is separated by a gate) including asher. you can read about denizens [here] BTW But they basically just pboil down to aliens but they're advanced humans pretty much. Asher doesn't really leave his apartment much he's kinda the current definition of NEET w/ all the added "guy who never leaves his room" points.

^Ashers room & the apartment floor hes on respectively and then south & north babylon (the pink and blue sqwuares are gonna be water it's also kinda derived from this Other game i ws making called Debt and cathat's in it..basically the same kinda location type at least appearance-wise if i had the files for that on this computer id put an example here) also i don't remember what who was phone was supposed to mean in that context

He DOES have 1 friend though named Connifer and they've been buddies since childhood (asher was not always like this but circumstances make the man and such) they just don't hang out as much as per asher being asher. But connifer cares enough to keep the connection and he visits asher every once in a while just to keep him in check that's actually how the game is supposed to start

Theory is..theory..i made him after watching an asmr video and going I need to make something out of this. so i did. I don't really know if theres much more to say abt him beyond what i put on his character page (kinda assuming youve seen it already but putting it there for good measure) i havent been focusing on these guys At all lately. UMMMM I can tell you his role in the game thou sorta the story i've mad efor him but it's kinda spoilers if i ever finish this damn thing

EDIT:I forgot to explain wwhere the morgue is. It's just past the place where welt is (up top on north babylon you can see the sorta icy portion that's where welt lives) i think but its separated by a cliff and nobody ever goes to the morgue bc well To get to it you have to fall off a cliff there's no other way. it's all dark and dreary too at least like 500ft below where everyone else is. Essentially asher &connie have to take a detour to get to the botanical gardans (where connie wanted to bring asher IN the game0 bc the argument and yadda yadda they end up @ the morgue.. theres also one other guy who lives near it and he's a whole nother can of worms but you can see his playlist [here] it's pretty much all i have for that dude (Doesnt even have a name)....i don't know

Ok he's supposed to be sorta the final or one of the bosses in the game....?? Euuh something about him knowing asher or something he's kinda just ever present maybe i don't know if i wanna go w that though. He speaks weirdly btw i don;t think i specified that he probably calls asher "boy" mostly. Schmancy. At some point asher and connie have to go thru the morgue because they gell off a cliff cus of an argument i don't know. And then they meet theory at first they think the morgue is just some rundown abandoned place but then BOOM There's a guy here. Theory's like asher dont you want to be free from your social responsibilities...! Join me we can work together and such and ashers like No dude you're weird as shit and then the whole boss fight starts cus theory gets real mad/agitated about it. Oh i have a wip theme sorta for it i'll leave it as a treat sorry the mixing sounds like compelte ass

Al;so fun fact his voice claim is will wood bc i listened to 2012 and the "FUCK" at the beginning is like peak theory when he accidentally drops liek a scalpel or something i heard it and went yuuup. Theory. Also it just fits cus hes Crazay! I'm really sad i dont have much else to say about him i moved onto edward too fast for him to have any real development..one of my most beloved ocs that i've made (i was really excited when i realized i finally had a mad scientist type character i actually gave a shit about) and he might as well just be a damn shortcake shell dude has got almost nothing

BUT. THANK YOU FOR ASKING......................! Hearts and stars emojis always a joy to talk about my guys

[d-nessi]

CHAPTER 1| *JUST A GIRL IN A BAR*

A/N: Welp here we go. my first ever written Fanfic.

I hope my english is ok. Criticism is welcome :) (Im human so...)

there´s just a slice of fluff and there will be more chapters. I promise next one is full of lovydovy fluffedyfluff (what the...) Proofread?...ugh Yes and no. like I said is something wrong just tell me ;P I used HE/HIM cause in germany I dont even know if we have other pronounces for genderfluid people.

HOPE U GUYS LIKE IT <3333 have fun

Pairing: Bella Ramsey x FemReader

wordcount: 1,4k!

Just a girl in a bar

Sitting at the bartable, drinking one drink after another wasnt a good idea. Thats what I thought.

But it turns out it was the best thing that could ever happen to me. I dont really drink alcohol, honestly I never had but after losing my job in germany I would like try a new start here in England. Nottingham England and its freakn` raining the whole time. Matches with my mood I thought.

Today was my first day at work and hell it was rough. The reason Im sitting here with the Gin in my hand, at least we fit together. "one Gin please", a sweet and innocent voice suddenly filled the room. I look to my left when I just take a sip and almost spit it on HIM realizing WHO is sitting next to me. Bella doesnt even realize my behavior thank god and I try to stay as cool as I could cause right?…its just Bella...Bella freaking Ramsey!

I have to admit he looks quite frustrated when he downs his drink. Voices in the backround starting getting louder which gets more and more annoying. "Ramsey! BELLA RAMSEY! your the one in Game of Thrones!? and in the last of us!" High voices almost screamed at Bella. "yes thats me", obviously not in the mood he looks at the girlygroup right behind him.

Each of the 4 women starts to talk at once and forget about Bella, who doesn`t seem to want to talk to such annoying people.

It starts to pissing me of only because clearly they have no manners when it comes to a single humanbeing.

"OK ENOUGH you disturbing chicks now take a leave!", I stand up and move to them. They all look upset but just leaving the bar.

"another gin for the person to my left", I wink to the barkeeper and he gives him another shot. "you alright bella?",

I ask not knowing if he is ok calling him by his firstname. "yeah I think so", are the only words.

"I guess you have to endure often with people like that?" I ask and empty my gin showing the keeper that he should fill up again.

"somtimes, not that often", he smiles at me looking thankful.

I talked a lot more with Bella and it`s weird that it seems like we are just frinds. Shows that even people that are known in public just normal humanbeing.

He stands up and smiles at me. "Y/N it was a pleasure to drink with you". i smile back "me too Bella" He leaves the bar and so do I a little later.

Next day and Im sitting here again. Same spot, same chair and no...a coke in my hand sipping regretful on it. "I will never ever drink alcohol again!" my head seems to explode even after only 2 shots of gin. Im not made to drink that Devils juice.

"one coke please", again that beautiful voice of him. "so today Im not the only one that regrets yesterdays evening" I smile at Bella. YES its Bella again and I cant believe I almost laught about the fact he also just drinks a coke. "dont blame me Im not used to drink alcohol", he looks a bit pale but seems happier than yesterday. "same for me", I say and we drink together from our glasses full coke.

"hows your day today and also I cant remember your name", he looks a little embarrassed. "never mind, Y/N. Except for a hangover I feel pretty good. its so nice to meet you again here" I smile maybe a bit to bright.

"yeah me too", he drinks and we talk about my past, how I lost my job in Germany and moved to England.

I dont know but when I look at him theres this weird feeling in my stomac. It makes me a little nervous especially when I look at Bella.

Time passes to fast and I really dont want him to leave but he takes his jacket and smiles at me. "your often here from now on?" a simple question I have to ask. "well maybe but I have to leave England in 2 weeks cause of the new season of the last of us show" he looks wistful. "oh....ok....wow season two. sounds pretty awesome. I didnt tell you I really love the show", I empty my coke.

"thank you", he blushes a little. damn there it is…the same feeling like befor. oh oh….please dont tell me that I have a crush on that REALLY REALLY untouchable person in front of me. I have to do something! "so.....", I start befor he goes. "do you want to show me your hometown next days? if you still have some time? I think you know best how to go" There was a hesitation but not in a bad way I think. " yeah...why not", a sweet smile, so sweet I could melt, was on his face. "you wanna exchange numbers with me?" I grab my mobile. "sure", he tells me the number and our paths seperate for now. Is this real? Am I not dreaming? Are we talking about that THE Bella Ramsey exchanged numbers with me? like we are close frinds? I cant wait to text her when we will meet for the city stroll trough Nottingham.

________________________________________

Y/N: 9:22am

Hey Bella :)

you wanna meet up with me in city? maybe at 2pm?

Bells: 9:28am

hey yeah that`s fine for me. We can meet at Old Market Square

Y/N: 9:30am

ok sounds good. cu

________________________________________

at Old Market Square

"BOOOH" I stealth from behind and got almost punched in my face while Bella squeaks loudly.

"wooow what in the holy world are you doing!? I was about beating your ass up" he looks angry but soon it turns into a smile.

"sorry" give him a cute look, him blushing and turn arround. "ok so…..that`s your hometown? Can I admit that it looks so incredible historic?"

He smiles and we walk trough different places in the city talking about Bellas past. I was truely flastert by his voice that sounds so sinnful and like heaven at the same time.

I don't think Bella knows how I feel even I don't know what's going on inside of me. The only thing I know is that I want to be closer to him…

maybe too close. So close that it could might ruin our relationship we build in that short time.

"less than 2 weeks until you have to fly to America. are you excited already? It's going to be a lot of work, I'm sure you can do it. And then I want to watch the whole second season".

I just try to encourage him but it seems that he is sad about every word I say.

"yeah…I'll be gone a hell of a long time. I don't even know if I'll be able to fly home for Christmas. the second season is a much bigger project".

He looks up to the sky while we are walking through the Aboretum. Just looking at him makes me sad and I regret bringin up the subject.

"hey you want Icecream?" I ask out of the blue.

"yeah why not" Bella smiles but looks uncertain. The rest of the day was rather quiet with an underlying sad mood. Like if she doesn't want to leave England or is there another reason? I would so like to know what she thinks. should I ask? no, not that the mood suffers even more.

"you want to go on a walk with skipper and me tomorrow?" he looks at me as if nothing happened befor.

"uh…your adopted dog? yeah of course I would", I take a deep breath. "fine than see you tomorrow morning at 6:30am? when the sun rises?", he ask.

"sounds great" I said, hesitating for a moment but finally just hugging Bella. A thousand butterflies flying through my stomach. As if every single one gives me an electric shock. I smiled at him as I broke the hug and wished I could hug him a little longer.

I can`t breath u guys....waaaaay too excited right now *hides from the stones that are thrown*

For more Chapters, stories and more just look at my Masterlist ♡

[trueoathbreaker]

Im watching a video on mmos and i wanted to talk about my experiences with the genre for the past like 2 decades

I first got into mmos with toontown back when it was all over tv

My parents paid for an account for me and my sibling to share and my dad had his own account

I played a whole bunch of toontown but i avoided a lot of things....i was barely in double digits....stuff like cog buildings and the factory (back when there was like...1) scared me...heck i still tend to avoid them when i go back to ttr (and bc i have zero social skills so i suffer in solo)

My first TRUE mmo was maplestory....i never got far tho i leveled up a few times and got to like the elf area and had someone try to trade me but again i was just a confused 11 year old at the time....idk how mmos work! I still played them!

Theres a bunch of mmos id get into during middle school and into hs but never for too long....i was like a grandma with a cell phone....idk what im doing im just hitting things and running around the first area

I have a friend who id play some of these with back then but even then i didnt know what i was doing

At this point in my life and its only been 28 years of being alive....most of these memories are fuzzy...

I remember always being magic classes until i got one with a gunner...i thought wow thats cool!

My friend always did way more in these games than i did....

And then there was one particular mmo....i had gotten into with a different friend in hs....

Tera

Now my first jump into tera was short lived (in 2013) bc i had a laptop not made to play such a demanding game and i barely saw past lumbertown for years. I shelved tera and had a small burst of playing mmos during this time from new to old

For....whatever reason i dont remember

My previous friend got me to hop back into tera in 2015

And that

Was the start of my true mmo years

Every other mmo i clueless played barely getting anywhere for a few months to playing talesrunner a few times to whatever mmo i wanted to try that gave me a virus once and i very shakily saved my computer from it (probably)

Didnt matter

Here we are back in tera 2 years later and its all different and would only get more different the more i played....i deleted the like 3 characters i had barely used bc their names were trash and i made a new archer named deed

And we had a blast (and i had a third friend join us for some time but we dont talk about him anymore ok ok)

I dont remember how or when

But i had found an mmo coming soon with a closed beta upcoming

Blade and soul

My first time playing blade and soul.....was awful

I was on yet another laptop that could not handle the game....i gave up at the first world boss area bc i had worn the pvp outfit not knowing it was a pvp outfit (whoops) and was basically stun locked into death by strangers bc my poor computer was too slow to handle it

Despite that i bought the founders pack and walked back into the earthern realm with my blade dancer magmia

Who i promptly disgarded to play with my friend on iksnanun

And seeliewood was born

And the rest they say

Is mostly recorded on this blog for your viewing pleasure

Blade and soul to this day is still one of the best experiences ive had in an mmo despite it all despite the games jank despite it taking me months to actually DO non story content bc i had new friends who dragged me with them besides doing the first two dungeons over ans over bc i was a scared baby of 20something despite the absolutely wild people ive met and friendships lost and stupid things ive said and done and times i got my butt kicked by mushin

Its about my friends still letting me try the scary raid with them after i have an embarrassing meltdown down in front of them and a bunch of strangers

Its sitting down for hours in a dungeon just to talk bc no one is gonna yell at us to get out

Its watching a whole raid stop and watch a rare item vanish bc one of u thinks its the ugliest outfit in the world and she paid us to throw it out

Its roping people in to farm pirate princess or black ice for months until they finally drop

Its not about reaching the best gear to do the newest raid that kills you for looking at it funny

Its about a game that introduced me to my gf @shironuri

And while i have had a lot of other mmos following some lasting longer than others including a third return to tera

Most are short lived

I don't stay as hooked on some mmos or i fall back into my rapid pick up and put down way of playing games in general

Many mmos are shutting down or mobile only or have specs past my nearly 10 year old pc that i do not have the money to replace

I'm back to staying away from socializing and many of my friends have moved on or have no time for these games anymore (or they're all in ff14 which i technically own but.... you know)

So many mmos i played only a few years ago are just gone or out of my computers power to play (id love to try and get pso2 to work again but i only played on jp and that takes a HUGE amount of time to set back up)

On that note i realize there's a lot of games i play that should go on this blog but i just haven't

Like other social sims

Yall want my vrchat screens??? Eh probably not theres like 2 active followers yall probably see this on my main enough

[heleizition]

AIGHT im back and i did the reading and i need to know e v e r y t h i n g about the naruto au im not even fucking around. the amount of times ive fixated on that shit despite never finishing it is unreal. also which one was the one that got beheaded? because thats superb shit and i require more information to rotate them in my mind

HIIIIIII thank u so much for this ask i saw it at work and i was SO EXCITED to get home and tell u all about a) the naruto au b) eden who's the one who gets beheaded :3

BTW you can find the art i did of my ocs by checking out the tags on my blog of their name (ex nell art is under #nell, vik's is under #vik ...)

i'll start with eden !!! he's my token white haired guy (altho i have also a white haired girl in the same group of oc lol) to whom i do many terrible things. ever since i created him he's had a scenario where his neck got hurt (electric shock to his neck, knife injury, beheading to simply head explosiong lmao). he's an angel in the angel/demon scenario and the village's doctor in the farm au :3 he's always some sort of healer ! (he's that one "im a healer but... *cocks gun*" meme)

in the angel au he has extraordinary healing powers that antagonists want for themselves until they realise eden is not gonna give under the pressure and side with them so they behead him/make his head explode. not quite sure whcih one yet <3. except he doesn't die bc his power is more. body manipulation than healing and it acts by itself and stitch him back together . its a very traumatizing process but in return he destroys the other guys : D he's often nell's best friend in aus... moody guys who become menaces together. he was supposed to end up w jasper when i very first made him but eh !!!

THE NARUTO AU

okay so . disclaimer most of what i know of naruto is memories from what i watched when i was a young teen and a lot of sakura centered fanfics ive read the past few months lol

the story focus on on genin team but for the sake of the story ill jst go and talk abt the others too :

a) main genin team is nell, vik, lena and their teacher abel

b) second genin team is belly, jasper and eden with their teacher noah

c) cody is basically tsunade, titania is a civilian from a noble family who has a whole side story with lena lol

nell and belly (twins) are illegitimate kids from a clan's girl, who possess the clan's kekkei genkai. no i dont know what it is yet it's not even relevant to the story SEFJSEFOSFJOE

once their mother die they're put under the care of their mother's clan, where they're not rly treated well,,,, belly is a natural as using the clan's technic while nell isn't,,, they stick together but they're treated different and it sucks. tbh nell and belly's ways of dealing with family trauma is a recurring theme in all of the universes they're part of...

nell's fighting style focus on ice jutsu mostly, he's not a powerhouse but he's deadly. belly is more of a brawler type but i havent figured it out much yet :]

vik is an orphan who was groomed into roots (in universe it's a secret unit of ninjas like anbu but it's controlled by danzou who's a fucker and stole kekkei genkai including sharingans by STEALING DEAD PEOPLE'S EYES), who want's belly & nell's clan's kekkei genkai, and who's sent to pass as a new genin in nell's team to gain his trust and kill him and take his eyes,,, theres prob something going on to take belly's also but i havent gotten that far lol

lena (my BABYGIRL) is a civilian, born from a big player merchant family, who's supposed to inherit her parent's role but does Not want to :] she's lovely she's great she has a lot of chakra that she uses for summons (tigers!!!) and also she IS a powerhouse (uses . axes). not the most usefull of spy missions lol i love her <3

abel, in most of my stories, is a big brother figure to most of the kids especially nell,,,, i have not figured out yet what exaclty he does in this au BUT he and cody are old buddies and are destined to be together in all of my aus. anyway

quick other stuff, belly is very angry in hte beginning like her brother and does not know how to work with a team, jasper is kind and gentle and has to learn how to deal with her, also later masters mokuton (tree/plants jutsu) (which makes him very precious and rare), eden is once again a healer in this except he also works with poisons. bitch

and their teacher, noah, also works in torture and interrogation which will come up later.

basically the story follows nell's team as they meet and start working with each other, vik realising that maybe he's doing something that he shouldn't, almost kills nell once when infiltrating his living place but manages to get out when he hears belly coming in, discovers the power of friendship, then they're sent in the death forest for their chunin exam, antagonist guy sends more roots agents bc vik can't do the job, vik protects nell and lena, spills as much of the beans as he can before the seal in his throat starts to paralyze him, nell holds on to him for dear life and fights the other roots, lena gets one of her summoned tiger to go find eden and his team who save the day & also vik...

once vik is saved he cooperated with t&i and noah, who works on the case, adopts him,,, all is well. its not much . i feel like i had more thoughts lmao but its all messy in my head <3 thank u for reading

[red-dyed-sarumane]

aru sekais really consistent about a lot of things amazingly. somehow. but the one thing i can never place is where exactly they're working. besides a city i get that much. shoushitsu mentions the classrooms & given the level & complexity of the work it's entirely possible it's a university site since u know thats a normal acceptable location to do research like its a pretty standard thing as far as i understand. but then theres other mentions like in kanon & yamete kudasai which seem to me to imply (if not directly suggest) thats its a separate outfit with its own work place & company & labs etc. as in entirely unrelated to any university lab sites.

at the same time i guess this doesn't exactly contradict itself since the shoushitsu chara doesn't seem to be directly involved in whatever the "present day" type group has going on. maximizer, kanon, apoptosis, laboratory, yamete all seem to be interconnected more directly with each other, in the same time frames as each other, as opposed to the "past" songs or shoushitsu itself which, as ive said, is detached as much as it can be. & given multiple songs have said the damage is very physical & wide spread on the world itself, it would make sense if, even if only one group or person started it, that others would eventually pick it up in their own capacity to try & limit the disaster as well. (not that it would help or get anyone anywhere but i could see how it would theoretically happen)

so what im getting at is, while its not confirmed yet by any means, it's entirely possible theres not one set lab location for the whole series