#so here i am again trying to stop myself from [redacted] bc I shouldnt have to prove to anyone that im not okay

[piplupod]

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[ruralbi]

Ok so lots happened. I've been breaking up with my boy best friend. I told him we ain't having sex no more, gave in twice (asked him to sleep in my bed) and he rejected me twice. Great life. I do choose to believe that he's just respecting my wishes in rejecting me, and not just bein like nah don't feel like it.

It's been a hell of a rollercoaster. But that's just attempt number 1834749 of trying to not fuck him.

What, do u ask, really prompted this post.

This bitch is out there partying with his bros. All good. He texts me "yo wassup" EXACT QUOTE.

I call him all what u want. He says don't call me unless it's an emergency. BITCH YOU TEXTED ME.

Clearly all his douchebag friends got on his case abt him picking up the phone to answer to his house faggot cause a bit later he texted me "can me and my best bro come sleep at yours" and I'm like sure :) CAUSE IM A FUCKIN IDIOT. And I say something like I'll even take a break from my puzzle to come say hi! (Bc I'm secretly the biggest dork)

And he's like oh my best bro (name redacted) wants more than just a break!

And I'm like that sounds kinda sketchy but I'm sure im just being paranoid. So I say whatever come over if u want. He's like send a message to convince him to come over. And i say sorry sir, if he doesn't wanna come over u shouldnt pressure him! Leave the poor man alone to sleep at his house rather than drag him all over the county to drink!

He says nah he wants to come over he just needs motivation. So I, like the absolute clown that I am, send something along the lines of well we got wine and vodka and a fireplace if you boys wanna light it.

Looking back I wanna brain myself. He really says jump I say how high. And he has the gall to text back "yeah but can we sleep with you?"

Bitch YOU'RE not even supposed to sleep in my bed anymore, what makes u think I suddenly a) wanna suck your dick again b) suck your mangy friends' dick on top of it

I can't believe after 4 years of being treated like an absolute sex toy he's finally thought you know what maybe I should share this with the boys.

I'm over here crying my lost love bc I finally accepted that our relationship isn't healthy. Hes not in love with me, I am, we have to stop having sex all the time so I can move on. But i thought well it's not a crime to not b in love with me. He don't deserve to lose his house and living over it. We'll just keep living together all normal, as two friends, the way we should've from the start. It hurts to see him but it ain't his fault and I need to tough it up.

AND HE GOES AND JOKES WITH HIS PALS ABOUT SHARING ME. Bc it's not even like oh I was joking calm down. When I immediately stop answering, first he texted "plz" !!!!!!! AND THEN

"sorry I'm friends with assholes" like oh the good ole trick sorry my friends took my phone !!? So I said oh yeah real easy to blame your friends!!! Stay at your best friend's flat three more days while ur at it. By then I'm livid.

Like okay so for four years ya didn't want to admit ur fucking me publicly but when ur bro wants my ass suddenly you're teaming up???? What an absolute jackass. And then he says "sorry I let myself be influenced"

Meaning he was getting egged on by all his disgusting bros and sharing the messages and making a public mockery of me. Like oh we heard that was an easy peace of ass think he'll take both you and me? He's surely been begging for ur dick for long enough. :( I can just see it I'm crying my eyes out I'm so humiliated.

He swears it's not what happened and he'll explain tomorrow but I don't really care. He's taken me for a joke long enough. I may b a joke but hes officially off the comedy roster. I'll ask him to move the fuck out and not show his goddamn face for a long while. Fuck this dude