#but that's problems for like. next week.
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no one can say i'm not applying to jobs
#if half of them end up being fake / scams that's not my fault#i'm doing my part#izzy.txt#i am gonna need alt resumes for more specific stuff if i want to try getting out of data entry#and into like. content writing / marketing / that kind of shit.#but that's problems for like. next week.
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everyone out of the way, this is the only thing I'm going to be thinking about from now on.
(okay, there is one more thing)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#jade is having the time of his life being a nasty little mofo and i love him for it#and gosh...leona and sally being friends is SO cute#sometimes i forget that leona is canonically a feminist#sally poisons a man and he's like 'you go girl'#they have so much in common though!#they both have eye scars and no ears on the sides of their heads!#no but they're adorable and i love it#and i suppose i have to reluctantly admit that i understand why lilia could not be in this event#he would just be stuffing frogs into his mouth left and right without even blinking#every time we get a moment of culture-clash he would just be there like 'mm-hm. yes. i do not see the problem.'#man. i do so adore any event that forces the boys to Work Together#their one weakness...not being petty dipshits who get into slapfights at the drop of a hat#absolutely nothing got done that first day and the mayor set off the emergency alarm because he was so done with them#this is perfection#anyway brb gotta go do some missions for the other jack's birthday#see you next week for more of scully becoming increasingly disillusioned with all these fake halloween fans
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I need someone who is funnier than me to write a fic about the time between when Steve and Robin start working together and Dustin coming back from summer camp because I know that Steve annoyed the fuck out of her.
Like I just know Robin rolls into work every morning hot and sweaty from having to scooter there, locked and loaded with mean sarcastic comments, and there’s Steve. With his dumb hair and his socks matching his uniform complaining that he had to open alone (they have no customers. He has not counted the register).
Steve doesn’t get her sarcasm yet so sometimes she’ll say something and can see that it hurt his feelings. He’ll stalk off to pout and she’ll think about apologizing, but then she’ll hear him think aloud, “I wonder if I can juggle?”
Followed the sound of broken glass.
#Robin: *holding a grudge bc Tammy Thompson has a crush on Steve*#Robin: *also holding a grudge bc Steve ate all the maraschino cherries and every customer made it her problem*#She slightly forgives him for it though bc the next day she dropped a bottle of chocolate sauce and it exploded all over his shoes#He looked like he was going to cry#It’s only partly forgiven bc he fucked off on his lunch break and came back with shoes that matched his uniform#Steve is the unequivocal favorite of their manager who comes in one a week and Robin hates that#steve harrington#robin buckley#stranger things
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"Suck it, weeb-ass BEEETCH!"
Richie loses to Ruth. (She probably cheated)
#I had no plans for this but i guess they're playing some kind of mobile game??? Idk dont look at me okay!!! /silly#Had a few asks sitting in my inbox for awhile (sorry) asking for these two and well i gave it a try 🫡#Something about them looks weird proportionally and it always happens after i draw the clothes SIGH - oh well pretend you dont see it ok#Richie now owes Ruth his lunch for the next three weeks#nerdy prudes must die#NPMD#Hatchetfield#Fanart#Art#richie lipschitz#ruth fleming#Starkid#They should probably have actual phone cases#but i didnt want to draw those tiny extra lines#edit: RICHIE IS TOO TALL!! duh thats the problem. damn who are ya'll letting me make a fool of myself like this huh
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"P.O.P.P.Y"
#pretty series#himitsu no aipri#aipri#aozora himari#mygifs#*pd#me watching the preview for next week like i knew himari touching foreheads with another girl was going to cause problems with mitsuki lol
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#cradily#ohhh i had some good angles for this one. but this one got all the votes but two#long#never thought i'd be givin that title to anything but snakes but here i am givin' it to fish and this thing#which is NOT a flower. i was told. last time 'round#though someone said “heartless lookin' ass” which i wholeheartedly agree with#i still need to finish like. all of kingdom hearts#my hope is to play through Every single kingdom hearts game. all of them. in order#so far i've done kingdom hearts and chain of memories. next up on my list is 358/2 days#i'm rather passionate about the concept of doing this but. just haven't gotten around to it. i've been playing other games#like i finished nier automata at the beginning of this year. liked that and decided to check out nier replicant#liked that game even more. and then went. wow. i want to play more nier games#found out the only other nier game‚ nier reincarnation#is a fucking. mobile game?? i guess?? and i was like ok what the fuck ever#and now i'm done with nier and i've moved onto red dead redemption 2. which is another one of those like#super duper popular games i've managed to learn nothing about#back here two weeks ago when i'm writing these tags i've only put like. two hours into it. i just barely got up to the new camp place#horseshoe whatever. i unlocked shaving. that bit#weird game for sure. especially coming right off the back of fucking. nier replicant#which is a game with talking books and magic spells and anime boys and air combos#to. red dead redemption 2. a video game about. a very slow-moving white guy who has to do a 5-second animation to loot a corpse#interesting switch but i'm here for it so far. i can definitely tell rdr2 is gonna be a sloooooow burn#problem is if i don't finish it by the time monster hunter wilds comes out#it's getting absolutely dropped#which. is probably gonna happen. sorry rdr2#this is not about pokémon. check it out??? cradily???
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adhd is when you shoot for the moon but you forgot the rocket fuel and by the time you realize it everyones already on the moon and then you panic and crash into the sun and it explodes
#my meds stopped working and i didnt know thats something that can fucking happen apparently???#like i knew eventually my body can get used to medicine that the effect kind of dulls but for some reason this time around i thought#that my body just decided to become lazier since the meds were already working anyway. cuz thats the thing as soon as smth is made#easier for me even if its the thing thats supposed to make the disability less disabling i get too relaxed and end up fucking up anyway#so i assumed my fucking cells worked the same way LMAO. they still technically work like i can feel my energy spike when it kicks in#but everything else like focus and memory went down and i thought oh so its just a me problem then. my habits are getting worse#even though ive been doing everything the same like setting reminders checking my schedule. hell ive been setting MORE reminders#to make up for the memory thing and i didnt even realize i just knew i had to compensate since it feels like my memory is getting#worse again. and i only figured this out bc my brother showed me an icecreamsandwich video with him talking about the EXACT FUCKING#THING IM GOING THRU WORD FOR WORD#i have to bring this up with my doctor next week so maybe i have to take different meds. i wonder if this will be a recurring thing#i guess one thing that hasnt changed is that im still slow as hell and stuff only comes to me 5 hours after the fact#its 6 in the morning and i only JUST realized that the word froyo is probably short for frozen yogurt#yapping#adhd
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It’s disability pride month, and if you are disabled in the U.S. from Long Covid I want you to know that you’re not alone, and you’re valid in whatever you feel. Whether that’s sorrow at your new problems or rage at society for failing you, you are valid, and it is truly messed up that society is continuing to fail you.
#disability#trauma#chronic illness#long COVID#COVID#Tbh I’m not sure if I have long covid or not but I keep swinging between despair and fury#The brain fog SUCKS#I might have always had it but it feels especially bad now?#And I have all kinds of respiratory problems that got exacerbated#And possibly chronic fatigue but it’s unclear#And I’m one of the lucky ones!!!#I can still exercise without needing three days of bed rest after!#I was so RELIEVED when it turned out I could do that#I did like. Three weeks of breathing rehab to make sure#Not sure if it helped but now I’m not getting post-exertional backlash nearly as much anymore#And I didn’t lose my sense of smell or get my taste messed up#And I don’t need a respirator just an inhaler and some allergy meds and to take frequent breaks#And like. I know so many people have it worse#And that suuuuucks#But EVEN THIS makes me want to scream and rail half the time#Update as of Sept 2024 — this is no longer true#Got Covid again and now I can’t exercise without being too tired to move for three days#🙃#Probably will die mad about this actually#I had SUCH a good time working out one night#But then the next morning#Nope#head-to-toe muscle pain#couldn’t do any chores#Couldn’t even feed myself
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me at least once a week: I need to watch another Russell movie on my watchlist!
also me: *turns Gladiator on again*
#i can't help myself#mystery alaska is next on my list because it's winter and i preemptively am in love with john biebe#BUT#i have this weird thing where i always feel like i'm cheating on my favorite movie / guy#I KNOW THAT'S IRRATIONAL INSANE AND RIDICULOUS BUT#what will i do when i get obsessed with another of russell's characters for awhile and neglect maximus??#my husband my joy the light of my life???#interestingly what happens is i get obsessed with the new character for a week or two and then i'm right back to maximus only more intensel#that happened with alex ross from rough magic#russell made me lose my mind in that movie#and i was insane about him and only him for about a week#and then the maximus fever came back full force#but like??? i can't cheat on maximus with his modern equivalent john biebe without feeling monstrously guilty#i realize that this is in no way shape or form normal behavior#but the heart wants what it wants and the brain doeth whatever it chooseth#i need to just break down and watch it#i need to have another character to obsess over in tandem with maximus#BUT IT JUST HURTS SOMEHOW#I LOVE MAXIMUS SO MUCH I JUST WANT TO OBSESS OVER HIM#hooray for problems that exist only in my brain#gladiator#text posts#maximus#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000#russell crowe
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Running into a dating dilemma issue I have not encountered in quite some time. Starting talking to two different people on an app at around the same time, went on a date with one of them last Saturday. It went surprisingly well, even fooled around a little for the first time in a long while. We have a second date at an arcade planned for this Sunday.
Other person was a little slower on the draw (not as timely with responses) and has offered to meet up this Friday. They seem nice enough, but now I'm kind of focused on the first person- but obviously that connection is also still in the exploratory stages and there are no guarantees that anything else will happen with them. I'm not great at dividing my attention when I'm interested in someone but I also don't want to count any chickens before they hatch (the chickens in this case being a meaningful or at least ongoing sexual relationship 🐣)
So the dilemma is: do I still go on the date with person #2? The way I see it I have three options- agree to the date and see where it goes, decline the date, or put it off until next week and see how I feel after the second date with the guy that I already met. I feel like I should make a choice soon but I truly don't know which one 😬
#here friends take your mind off of the world burning for a moment by reading about my dumb dating problems#dating nonsense#dating dilemma#and yes I know there's no rule saying I can't date both#but I have limited energy and attention for this sort of thing#if I'm into you I tend to get all in on it#i don't really like sharing it's exhausting to me#I'm thinking maybe the 'put it off until next week to see how I feel then' option but is that just the coward's choice?#really just kinda hoping that sunday arcade date with R goes well#and that maybe I get to touch that buuuuuuttt#and then cuddle naked and watch xena with him some more#might also be a little focused because he pulled a couple of dom-ish moves without me having to specifically ask and that made me 😍😍😍#and he was able to lift me??? when I was straddling him on my couch#which was a delightful surprise#but can't let the rose colored glasses descend just because he slapped my ass and pulled my hair a little and called me a good girl 🫠#he is the first person I've actually invited to my place since D though#who I have been texting with occasionally while all of this is also going because my feelings are not complicated enough as it is 🙄
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So things are kind of shit right now...
And I haven't been able to write and draw as much as I had planned because of it. Or even answer comments. I feel like I just disappeared off the face of the earth or something.
And I just wanted to say that it wasn't intentional and I'm still here but I'm also really stressed and basically on the verge of a breakdown (due to various things happening in my life right now) so we'll see when I'll get everything sorted. I'm trying my best but I admit it's hard. I had so many hopeful plans and it sucks that I have been forced to postpone pretty much all of them :C
I hope you're all doing well, though. I'm very much out of the loop right now but I'll try to get back on track, slowly but surely. Please take care 💜
#Amethystina and Life#I really had the best intentions#To write on A New Dawn and post another chapter for my Mad Dog fanfic#But I just haven't been able to#The only thing I've been able to do lately is cross-stitch and listen to YouTube videos or true crime documentaries#In between everything else#I feel like I haven't stopped to breathe in week#Hilariously#The one thing I KNOW I would be able to write is Who Holds the Devil#Since that fucker is hardwired into my DNA at this point x'D#And I know exactly what's going to happen next#There's comfort in that I guess#But I also just don't have TIME to write#So that's a problem#That and the exhaustion fever#My fever is SO HIGH right now#Which is probably why I'm even writing this x'D#If I was more coherent I wouldn't
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Going to walk into the fucking water 🙏👍🚶➡️🌊
#going insane. cant sleep the fucking constant irregular snoring… ahut the fuck uppppp please#no peace or autonomy in the day and i can’t even rest at night. day 2 of 2 weeks 👍#earplugs do not drown it out. i can’t sleep through it. im going genuinely insane#like distress tolerance works for not like clawing my own face off out of hate#but it does feel like 2 straight weeks of keeping my hand in the Dune pain box#exactly how I prefer to spend my only time off from my phd coursework btw#seething with sublimated resentment and anger while wearing Steel Plated Happy Mask#god forbid I get to relax or have a nice time with people who like me or cook food or read in bed#nope ! just holiday hate and competitive ulcer cultivation.#not going to put my head thru a wall because i’m an adult with emotional control#but sooo awesome to get to spend the next 2 weeks exhausted and wishing I could#and then straight back into constant work. awesome. Not clawing face off. Doing awesome#btw dbt is great for some things but i do hate how it is like. aorry if your environment sucks and other people are tangibly causing you#real distress. however : it is your responsibility to absorb the impact and defuse it#Like pleeease I’ve had the best year of my liiife why is 36 hours with my parents enough to send me straight to hell#at that point I feel the problem is less my emotional regulation skill#and more that when people treat me badly or in ways i find upsetting i become naturally: Upset?#big if true. whatevwerrrr okay im just going to sit in the fucking hotel lounge and work on fic or somwthing. fine
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so why did nobody tell me actively trying to date would make me feel lonelier than ever
#it's the thought of the potential happiness just to get ghosted and wondering if you're even worth the effort.......#and then it's the feeling of someone finally putting in effort but not feeling the spark you seek so you cut it off to not#waste their time or feelings#it's the getting attached way too quickly to someone who apparently didn't care but acted like he very much did when you were with him#like. i cried when i rejected a dude. i didn't even want him that's why i rejected him?? but i guess i miss the feeling of being wanted??#which is fucked up? as i was perfectly fine on my own for years? but i guess getting a sneak peek at what “could be” is fucking me up#maybe i should stop and get therapy first. LMFAO#if you read all this im so sorry i'm ok just had to let it out. problem is i got nothing to do this week. next week i'll be distracted&fine
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kunikida: i don’t know how you deal with that
dazai: what?? atsushi and akutagawa’s sexual tension? we have bigger things to worry about
kunikida: they’re destroying a building right now
dazai: ….the other things are still more important…..probably….
#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#bsd incorrect quotes#bsd shin soukoku#akuatsu#bsd dazai#bsd kunikida#bsd atsushi#bsd akutagawa#i like thinking about kunikida trying very hard to stay away from the whole atsushi akutagawa situation lol#like no thank you that is all dazai#absolutely NOT kunikida’s problem#he says while ignoring the sounds of explosions in the distance#they have been On My Mind lately#because i have committed to the idea of catching back up with both the manga AND the anime in the next week or two#im sick of having to keep all the tags blocked#i miss them
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new year, new WIP post! at the end of 2024 i had 8672 words edited and marked as Done on the Big WIP. now i'm up to 8865
#just a short section finished this time but it IS finished. & i did a lot on the next section too#im glad i took several weeks off from it i have come back Refreshed#going through in order now!! doing battle with chapter 2 which is the Cringe Chapter#it isnt actually. it's fine. but it's old and has a lot of side characters in it#so editing those scenes sometimes makes me recoil with embarrassment#been doing good with that though. cringe may not be dead but it is ailing#i made newt weirder in a few scenes#he didnt seem like himself. he needs to say like 10% more odd shit#and im almost done what im calling Chapter 2a for now#chapter 2 is gonna be too fuckin long and im almost done editing up to the earliest point i could insert the chapter break#so im calling that first bit 2a and the rest 2b#probably not where the break will actually go but we'll see. depends how long 2b ends up#dreading the point where i have to renumber the chapters lmao#they have titles but im so used to the numbers...#also i swapped the titles for ch3 and ch4 but if i renumber the chapters then ch3 will become the 4th chapter#so it'll be chapter 4 with the original ch4 title but the contents of what was ch3 💀#so. 2a and 2b until i bite the bullet and renumber#tin kitchen in the garret#ive levelled up from trying to edit some shorter more straightforward fics lmao#we are getting SO close to 10k words here. next section probably#also OH my god. google docs is so annoyed with me :/#WIP document is 385 pages and it's lagging real bad... i'm going to have to empty the 'discard' sections again so it'll stop but. uuuugh#copy pasting things into a 2nd document is such a pain... why...#google docs what is your problem. 400 pages shouldnt be a big deal#all of that isn't even 70k words!
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After a solid nine days of worrying me stupid, Moo is back on form.
#he had to get an IV 3 times and I had to force feed him cat yoghurt and electrolyte drink for five days#mfer could barely climb the stairs or walk without weaving from side to side#but he'd get 20ml of meowghurt down his throat and try to climb out my window and scale down the fence to go hunt bugs in the lot next door#finally shut the window and he'd brace his front paws on the window sill and stare outside forlornly like he'd been thrown in jail#it has been A Week#i now have a colitis flare from stress#Méka Mau Moo#cat mom problems#cattos#kitties
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