#but that's not the point so i hope nobody takes it out of its context ASGFJDGLFDGDKGJ

[ruvviks]

juniper + 4, 16, 29 / hindsight + 35, 30, 25, 11 / erytheia + 26, 12, 33 AND i would like to know about 8 for all three of them :]

d&d oc asks!

8. do they have a nickname? who gave it to them? if it's not derived from their real name, what's the story behind it?

erytheia's nickname is niaue (pronounced ni-a-we)! she isn't entirely sure of the origins of the name but she just knows that it's her nickname, and people she has helped in the past tend to refer to her by this name as well when telling tales of her and her deeds

the name is actually a nickname that has been given to her by the tidemother, which is the deity she serves as a grave domain cleric! niaue means "lighthouse" in an ancient divine language that is not spoken anymore, and the tidemother gave erytheia this descriptive nickname because it fits who she is and how she helps people in need :]

12. how long have they been around? do you know their birthday? is their birthday the day you made them or another day? what do they think of celebrating birthdays?

erytheia is 32 years old, and she was born on the 25th of nyn; the second month of the year and the last winter month. she hasn't celebrated her birthday in many years, since in genasi culture (in my homebrew world) it is mostly celebrated with family; erytheia has not been home since the age of 19, and thus has not felt the need to celebrate since it would not be the same without her parents and siblings there :(

26. how do they move? are they clumsy? light on their feet? do they use mobility aids?

erytheia prefers to float, since she, surprisingly enough, is VERY clumsy when she's walking. she's incredibly tall and a bit lanky and often forgets about it, and she hits her head into door frames and ceilings a LOT (also when floating but she can be a lot more graceful about it then JSKGJFDKGDFJG). she only ever walks when out with @mojaves' oc bela, because he's much smaller than she is and she wants to be able to hold on to his arm or hand :]

33. if applicable, how would your other characters describe them? i mean specifically the people around them.

hindsight would describe erytheia as ethereal, and he means that wholeheartedly because he doesn't know many big words. he thinks it's amazing how she sees the good in basically everything and manages to stay so positive through it all; he tends to get very demotivated by bad situations pretty easily, but erytheia's attitude helps him power through and she's just very inspiring to him :]

juniper honestly shares that opinion, but for her it's more of a curious perspective rather than getting inspired by it. she's not entirely sure how erytheia can remain so positive especially taking into account what erytheia has seen and been through in her days; logically, anyone else in her position would not manage to be like that, and it makes juniper wonder what else is going on that the party so far does not know about her. putting all that aside, much like hindsight she sees erytheia as a very good friend, and she respects her a lot ^_^

8. do they have a nickname? who gave it to them? if it's not derived from their real name, what's the story behind it?

hindsight gave himself his nickname, which is sort of comparable to a tiefling's virtue name except it's not really a virtue for him, but more just a rather ironic descriptive term that he started going by when he fled his home country, the frozen shore, after his father's death

the name mostly refers to how he shoots first and asks questions later, but at the same time it is also kind of meant ironically, referring to his entire life back in the frozen shore and how, in hindsight, almost none of the decisions he made in there had been the right ones. he's starting a new life AS hindsight, knowing what he knows now, and he builds up this whole fake persona to try and fit in with the crowds, trying to pass as human rather than embracing being a tiefling, having gone as far as getting rid of his horns and hiding his tail and everything :( with that i also accidentally ended up making him a trans allegory but that's a suitcase to unpack another day

11. what do they have in common with you? how are they different? would you get along with them?

the autism. straight up. getting embarrassed about having wants and needs, overly apologetic, absolutely cannot handle misunderstandings and needs to sort things out IMMEDIATELY to just get it over with. he's good at noticing changes in atmosphere or behaviors of others but doesn't know what to do about it, how to bring it up, and also what it's caused by, and his brain is quick to tell him that he did something wrong </3

tying in to what i said above with the trans allegory, that mostly comes from his relationship with his horns. he got rid of them because people stared at him because of them because they were so prominent and he didn't want them to be, he wanted to be able to blend in normally and be comfortable in his body. he got his horns removed, and then years later when he's comfortable in his body, he kinda wishes there had been a way for him to just keep his horns but be able to take them off on some days and then put them back on the next day. not regretting his decision, but just wishing that there had been an alternative now that he has the comfort that he wanted all those years ago. which is basically how i feel about my chest ^_^ so there's that

i would definitely get along with him. he's a bit defensive and sarcastic and kinda pessimistic but i do love to complain about situations and scenarios so we would be like them two old man muppets basically and get too caught up into the bit and piss everyone around us off. and the possessive sex would be out of this world

25. how good/bad is their hearing? what about their eyesight?

hindsight's hearing and eyesight are both pretty decent!! in fact, perception is his expertise skill LMAO he used to be a guard so he has very sharp senses :] however he does need glasses to be able to see, which is why he's wearing those round glasses in the art i did of him :] his eyes are sensitive to sunlight so the glasses have a warm hue to them so he can see his surroundings better without getting blinded. when he learns how to read at some point (different suitcase for another day) he'll end up with rectangular little reading glasses too

30. do they smell like anything notable?

i'm always very bad at describing scents, but hindsight would smell very good. it'd be a warm and comfortable smell, like a hearth or a campfire in the woods; though not Literally that smell, but the warmth of it if that makes sense :] though there's definitely a hint of the crackle of a campfire in there because of him being a tiefling. but then mixed with a little bit of the sweetness of the marshmallow that you're roasting above it :]

35. do they ever return home?

quite literally in every way, yes. hindsight returns back to himself during the story, dropping the act and persona he made for himself by using his own accent again, showing his tail, and dropping the stoic and distant personality he created in order to keep people away from him. he also goes back to the frozen shore with the party, when they're forced to go there to investigate the next lead they have in the overarching storyline; and it even circles back to him being forced to return to the still ongoing trial surrounding his father's death, where hindsight's testimony can decide the fate of the rebels in the country which is part of the endgame of the whole story >:]

4. how crafty/resourceful are they?

juniper is very resourceful! she thinks in solutions and is quick to jump between different plans when the party is getting stuck on something, and while she doesn't necessarily have all the skills to execute the plan herself, she is more than willing to take lead on it to get the others to focus too

one of her main focuses is learning more about the world, and with that she's always learning new things that can help the party out later in time, which also greatly contributes to how resourceful she is :]

8. do they have a nickname? who gave it to them? if it's not derived from their real name, what's the story behind it?

juniper chose her nickname herself sometime after settling down in dumad, caspen, after she ended up on the material plane and gave up trying to get back to the feywild. she still goes by shivani to those closest to her, but prefers to introduce herself as juniper because to her it's her material plane name and it feels less heavy than her real name, which brings along (forgotten) memories from her time back in the feywild with her family :( as for now, the only one who knows about her real name is andy's oc mairwen!! though later in the story juniper will also tell the others about it :]

16. do they have any pets? what do they call their pets?

right now, juniper does NOT have a pet but i have been thinking about giving her one :] the party does in fact travel with a cart pulled by two wingbeasts (imagine a snow leopard mixed with a dire wolf and a hyena, with big wings), which can be considered their shared pets in a way?? they're both boys, about four years old so they're still young, and their names are darshan and naghi :]

fun fact is that juniper actually came up with their names!! the names are from a feywild legend in my homebrew world, which tells the tale of lovers darshan and naghi who were the feywild's guardians, but from their position on the plane they couldn't do their jobs well and thus took positions in the sky; but their shared presence in the sky was too much for the feywild and it began to burn. the lovers had to make the difficult decision to no longer be present in the sky at the same time, darshan becoming the sun, naghi becoming the moon, which saved the feywild, but they could never be together ever again :( it is one of the few things juniper remembers from the place and she still loves the tale a lot <3

29. are they associated with any particular element (air, earth, fire, water)?

juniper can most of all be associated with blood. she's a warlock, and her patron is vashna, a primordial hag who feasts on blood, and juniper eventually ends up as some sort of vessel for vashna to sate her hunger. in fact, it affects juniper in such a way that she ends up cursed with lycanthropy at some point in the story >:]

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Can we have Azul being very excited to see his parents again with random dorm members questioning if thats the same Azul that's their dorm leader?

Octavinelle A-kun? Octavinelle A-kun. (Context: Octa A/Kon is my Octavinelle mob student OC asdblasdiabis)

Family means Nobody is Left Behind or Forgotten.

Azul had reserved a slot of time early in the afternoon--before the Mostro Lounge's usual hours of operation--for his parents.

As soon as he swung open the doors, his painstaking efforts were made apparent. Every corner of the eatery had been scrubbed, buffed, dusted, mopped, and vacuumed to perfection. Their best china was out, a vase of freshly cut flowers and romantic candlelight marking the table he had saved. The live band he had hired (no expense spared) welcomed the Ashengrotto family with a soft, jazzy melody.

The music came with a chorus of clapping. Several Octavinelle students stood in lines, giving applause to the VIPs.

Azul ushered his parents inside. "Please, come in, come in! Right this way, esteemed sir and madam," he crooned, gesturing for them to follow him.

They settled into their seats and were immediately provided with menus and tall glasses of water, the ice so clear and free of impurities that one could see right through them. Octa A--Kon--their server, hastily pulled his hand back after delivering the items and bowed. How smoothly everything ran, like an orchestra with a skilled conductor.

"So this is what you've been up to at school," Mr. Ashengrotto murmured, a faint smile tugging at his lips. "I must say, it's impressive. Not every 17-year old would be capable of overseeing an entire cafe on top of studying and juggling the responsibilities of a dorm leader--well, perhaps your mother would."

"You really do take after me," Mrs. Ashengrotto laughed, "in more ways than I suspected you did."

"Fufufu. Yes, well... I did learn from the best." Azul straightened, lifting his chin proudly. "As it so happens, I also run a little... side business, shall we say. My peers come to me with their owes, and I do what I can to help alleviate those."

"If only your grandmother could have joined us... I'm sure she would be pleased to hear of your charity work. Perhaps we could pay her a visit on your next trip home."

His stepfather raised his brows. "Seems I've married into a multitalented family."

"Please do not talk down your own abilities. You're quite skilled in your own right, dear stepfather!" Azul wrung his hands together. "Why, I can only hope to match your legal prowess one day!"

“Haha, you’re a sweet talker too. Alright, I’ll take your professional advice. No more talk of business though—let’s decide what to eat.”

“Fufufu, as you wish.”

Kon warily kept his distance, a step or two farther from the table than he usually would. Staring, listening--it was strange, he decided. Never had he heard his dorm leader speaking with such sincerity, with kindness that wasn't laced with hidden ill intent.

Is this... Azul-senpai? He seems a little different around his family. Softer... squisher somehow.

"Pick anything you like off the menu. I'm confident that you will enjoy our dishes, made fresh every day with the best sourced, in-season ingredients possible.” Azul pushed up his glasses with one hand. “If you care for a recommendation, the fried chicken is sublime. It took us a while experimenting with spices to achieve its flavor and texture, but I believe those efforts paid off wonderfully."

“Fried chicken, your old favorite! You hardly touch it anymore.”

“M-Mama…! Er, I mean mother,” Azul quickly corrected himself. “That was back then! Now I am making a conscious effort to mind my health. I ask that you respect that."

“Alright, alright. Point taken.” Mrs. Ashengrotto tapped a finger on her menu. “I’ll take the fried chicken platter appetizer, for old time’s sake. We can split it so you can treat yourself too, dear."

"Oh no, I couldn't possibly..."

"One bite can't hurt," his stepfather urged. "Here, let's get a salad as well to balance it out."

"Th-That is not how nutritional intake works at all..." Azul sighed, a hand to his head. There was a pause, then he flagged Kon over. "... You heard them, correct? One fried chicken platter and the garden salad appetizers to start."

"We'll get those out for you right away," he said robotically. A line, rehearsed. "Take however long you need to decide your mains."

The mob student turned to scurry away and pass along the order to the kitchen. A voice stopped him dead in his tracks.

“And Kon-san?”

He looked back.

His dorm leader had his legs crossed, looking very authoritative as he sat up straight in his booth. He, the lackey, trembling before the boss.

“Y-Yes, sir?” Kon squeaked.

Azul simply smiled. "Thank you for your service."

The breath he had been unconsciously holding slipped out as a sigh. And he tried to smile back.

"Anytime, dorm leader.”

[cushfuddled]

When I first started shoveling Jayvik fanfic into my mouth a month and a half ago, I was shocked and delighted at the avalanche buffet of top Viktor and dom Viktor content. But I've started to feel like the detective who kneels down and touches some footprints in the dirt like, "Something happened here..."

Because I can't remember the last time I saw a fanon concept become...so ubiquitous? Even in fics where Viktor bottoms, he's a power bottom/topping from the bottom. Spotting a fic with an overwhelmed sub bottom Vik in the Ao3 tag feels a bit like the moment a snow leopard graces your Himalayan trail cam.

I DO NOT mean to suggest anyone "should" write more inexperienced/bottom/sub Viktor! It's just...as someone who likely missed whatever ancient discourse might've plagued the Arcane fandom years hence, I've been through this fandom song and dance enough times to recognize the smell of...what say, capital-O Obligation.

I just want people to know they can write whatever kind of fanfic they want. That's the point of this post. I hope someone somewhere reads this and feels emboldened to let loose/goof off/get freaky/whatever.

Because I can see why people would feel Obligated to portray Viktor as a top/dom/the sexually experienced one. He's physically disabled and chronically ill. Ableism so often takes the form of paternalism and infantilization. There's this pervasive notion that disabled people don't have sex. People think we're too "pure" for sex, or assume we're "undesirable" as romantic partners/that our physical or mental disabilities would make sex impossible. With that cultural context, it's a radical act for so many people to come together and choose to portray Viktor—a disabled, terminally ill man who struggles with suicide ideation—as a sexually experienced top.

One of the hardest things about being disabled/ill is the lack of control. You can't plan for the future; you don't know whether your pain levels will be better tomorrow or demand another trip to the ER; your life is totally in the hands of overworked doctors who don't care about you. So it feels kind of like an act of reclamation to put Viktor in a dominant position. In a safe, sane, consensual arrangement, all parties have control over the situation, but with topping and/or domming comes the Role of authority/power. Making Viktor an experienced, sly top/dom gives back Viktor's autonomy and agency.

So yeah. I get why this trend is pervasive within the fandom! It's fantastically subversive. I just hope nobody feels like they HAVE to fall into this dynamic.

I remember a Tumblr post from years ago where someone described the drawbacks of a supposedly "feminist retelling" of Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty, wherein the heroin saves herself by her own strength and wits. This, I would argue, is a perfectly fine story to tell...but its lack of intersectionality betrays a shallow definition of feminism. In casting those retold fairy tales in a feminist, "empowering" light, one ignores the realities of the people who found escapism in those helpless damsels.

In a paradoxical way, when my MCAS knocked me flat on my ass for two years, I was always out of control of my life AND forced to take control all the time. All those overworked, traumatized, apathetic doctors meant I had to be my own patient advocate. I had to do my own research; figure out which treatment plans made the most sense; find doctors who took my insurance and could see me within six months; argue with Medicaid when they didn't want to pay for one of the drugs I'd been prescribed; find new and creative ways to feed myself when my body reacted like it was allergic to everything other than water and Cheerios. And god, I had to self-police myself all the time. At the doctor's office, you have to look sick enough that they believe you when you say you're hurting, but you don't want to seem TOO sick because the desperation will make the doctor diagnose you with "hysterical woman" (or they'll just assume you're fishing for drugs). At home, you want to project some amount of strength so you don't worry your loved ones or make yourself too much of a "burden." (You also don't want to have to manage other people's anxiety on top of your own.) My disability (autism) and chronic illness (MCAS) are invisible, but I imagine there's a lot of masking that goes into navigating public spaces with a visible disability/illness, too.

So...when everything's this constant battle for control—when you're forced to project strength every day regardless of your pain level—of course some people are going to find relief in stories where they're allowed to shut down. I think it's important to let disabled characters be vulnerable and overwhelmed and even dependent on someone else, because as often as disabled and chronically ill people are infantalized, so too are we expected to "overcome" our disabilities/illnesses through miracles of resilience and cunning. We're pushed to perform strength, cheer, and "normalcy" for the public, who find our disabilities "sad" and "uncomfortable." Every time someone refuses to put on a mask, or a relative tells us to simply get more exercise, or a politician rails against "wellfare queens," or a bus route gets cut or a bench gets removed or our doctors hand-wave our symptoms, our world reinforces the message that we are Too Much; that our needs are exorbitant, our very existence a drain on society. So many of us throw ourselves into self-sabotaging grasps at independence. We work ourselves far past our limits to prove we aren't a burden on society. We refuse help just to maintain that tiny sense of control over our lives.

I find it deeply comforting to read stories where ill and disabled characters are...allowed to be helpless, I guess. To break the fuck down and let someone else finally take the reigns for a while—to lift some of that burden off their shoulders. I love when ill and disabled characters trust someone enough to take off that heavy armor, revealing the pain and weakness beneath the facade they were forced to take up to survive, and are rewarded with warmth and reassurance and care.

At a certain point...is it not a little ableist in itself, to restrict a disabled, chronically ill character to one specific role? To essentially lock them out of a position where they're allowed to relinquish control and be taken care of?

In essence,

Disabled and chronically/terminally ill people are not a monolith. As I always say, what offends one person will uplift another. It's an uncomfortable reality, but there's really no such thing as perfect representation. I think part of intersectionality is being willing to accept that multiple things can be true at once, because everyone's lived reality is different. It's absolutely fine to prefer one trope over another. But if I find a fanfic offensive or uncomfortable, I can always click the back button with the knowledge that there's almost certainly someone out there who'll find that same so-called problematic content empowering. Whether fic writers prefer top Viktor, power bottom Viktor, bottom Viktor, switch Viktor, sub Viktor, dom Viktor, experienced Viktor, virgin Viktor, omega vs. alpha Viktor, and every niche in between...I just hope they go where their heart tells them and write what they want.

[antianakin]

I'm starting to see some very funny (and by funny I mean infuriating) takes on what Andor was actually ABOUT and the way it utilized its more adult narrative within the context of Star Wars. Andor as a show followed Lucas's themes BRILLIANTLY even while choosing to look at them a little differently.

One of the primary themes in Star Wars is that there really isn't much of a "middle ground" in life. You are either choosing to be selfless and compassionate, or you aren't. Trying to stay in the middle or run from making this choice inevitably ends up badly for the people who try. And one of the other primary themes of Star Wars is that being selfless and compassionate often requires LETTING GO, most often letting go of the people you love and accepting that change happens in life.

I've seen people argue that Andor is able to be a morally grey story because its characters aren't Jedi or Sith who tend to be more bound by these cosmic themes or good vs evil, but I'd argue that Andor actually represents that theme JUST FINE.

Despite many of its characters living in a "morally ambiguous" area, we still have to see them make the choice to be selfless and compassionate or selfish and greedy. One of the primary themes for the characters is how well they can LET GO or not. Cassian is constantly having to figure out how to let go of his plans for his future, let go of his mother, let go of his dreams of a normal life. Cassian is ruled by fear for much of the first season and it's only once he is pushed into a situation where there's no longer any way to run, he starts finally fighting back and refusing to bow to the oppressive force that wants nothing more than to see him discarded like so much refuse. The people of Ferrix have to let go of their desire to stick their heads in the sand and simply hope the Empire won't notice them.

And on the other end of the spectrum you have Syril Karn and Dedra Meero absolutely fixated on their respective goals to the point that they're willing to kill and betray innocent people to reach them. They've convinced themselves their goals are selfless, but their motivations are in fact actually SELFISH, they serve nobody but their own ambitions. And both of them end up paying for it.

So Andor ABSOLUTELY gets the central theme of Star Wars, it isn't actually trying to change that. What it DOES do is take that theme and just digs slightly deeper, looking at this theme from a slightly different angel even when it ultimately comes to the same conclusion. Andor asks if selflessness and compassion always looks like "I'm Luke Skywalker, I'm here to rescue you!" Or if maybe sometimes making the selfless choice means burning yourself to light a fire to lead someone else to safety. Are all people who make the selfless and compassionate choice considered heroes, or are some of them having to make those choices down in the dirt and destined to be forgotten by history? Andor asks how many variations of selflessness might exist and then explores them in its wide, colorful ensemble.

Andor also is looking at what selflessness might look like in characters who are forced into making a choice between standing back when they see evil happening and dirtying their hands just to make the smallest difference because forces of evil outside of their control are making the purer options impossible.

And that is the EXACT SAME THEME explored with the Prequels Jedi. The Jedi who want so badly to be selfless and compassionate, whose philosophies and ideologies lead them to use violence only as a last resort and love everyone and everything in the galaxy equally. The Jedi who are thrust into a war where there's no way to win because the Sith are running both sides of it and the Jedi can't just NOT FIGHT because that will get innocent people killed and will help no one but themselves, but they have to compromise their morals as a result. The Jedi who see a politician slowly amassing unreasonable amounts of power he's unwilling to let go of and a Senate too controlled by fear and greed to see the danger, so their only option is to commit treason to try to remove the corruption personally.

The Jedi LOOK the hero part a lot more than the characters in Andor do. They're strong, confident, powerful, and wield swords of light. They fight out in the open rather than from the shadows. Cassian, Luthen, Saw, Mon Mothma, Vel, and Cinta all manipulate things and threaten people and lie and cheat their way towards victory. Both Mon Mothma and Luthen fully admit to choosing to act like their enemy in order to defeat them. And it's not that the Jedi's way of fighting is any worse than the way the people of Andor have learned to fight. The people of Andor would LOVE to be able to fight like the Jedi used to do. But they can't. Palpatine has created a world in which being heroes that way is NO LONGER POSSIBLE. He started with the Jedi, by forcing the Jedi into a situation where fighting the way they once did was the wrong choice to make. There were no longer any right choices, just better choices. The only choice.

The Jedi stood as a bulwark between the darkness and the people of the galaxy. For years they chose to dirty their hands in order to fight the battles no one else WANTED to fight because it was the ONLY CHOICE TO MAKE. So what happens when the Jedi are gone?

The rest of the galaxy is now faced with the same choice. Do you stand by and let darkness grow? Or do you dirty your hands a little because it's the only choice you CAN make?

The people in Andor are picking up the torch that fell out of the Jedi's hands when they were murdered and persecuted by the Sith. Only the people who are left don't have magic powers or swords of light, so they use the resources they have at their disposal, which mostly amounts to manipulation and trickery and striking from shadows. The fight looks a little different now, but it's still the same fight the Jedi were fighting for years.

So Andor is taking those bigger cosmic themes from the Jedi/Sith conflicts that permeate the rest of the Skywalker saga and asks what those themes might look like when applied to the little people. What kind of choices might THEY make, what kind of things might they have to let go of in order to make those selfless choices? What kind of consequences might happen when they DON'T make the selfless choice? It's the exact same theme Lucas has ALWAYS had in his stories, just viewed from a different angle or through a different lens.

But the stories we've been getting recently that are trying to argue that being selfish is actually totally fine so long as you're doing it For Love, that the Jedi were in fact the source of everything that went wrong in the galaxy, that the Jedi were DESTINED to be destroyed, those all go completely against Lucas's themes. They're the direct OPPOSITE of his intended message. It is in fact entirely possible to write a more adult story with grittier content that STILL SENDS THE SAME FUCKING MESSAGE AND FOLLOWS THE SAME THEMES and doesn't try to get edgy in its interpretation of the source material.

[midnightcatharsis]

Astarion haters are usually pathetic liars and the worst part of bg3 fandom. Here is a prime example of an absolutely pathetic individual (screen and context below, btw the first screens don't look that bad but the last one is important here and sheds a different light on them) : They go under every Astarion-related video and hate on him and his fans. They also almost always lie. They're the ones who said "AsTaRiOn DiSaProVes oF sAvInG thE GnOmEs at MoOnRiSe" and "AsTariON oNlY apPRoves oF sAviNg the HyEna and the OwlBeaR because he wants to eat them" I've debunked it with information from the game and wiki, but they continue to say that. You can find my post here. The same individual some time ago went under another Astarion video and made a comment hating on the entire Astarion fandom in a comment that at first glance can look innocent to neutral fans. They were enraged that some Astarion fans disliked people who purposefully downloaded a mod that allows you to put a collar on an escaped slave and makes him crawl. Of course, they failed to give any actual proof or link and expected everyone to blindly believe them which would be very unreasonable since I've already proven they often lie (the entire gnomes at moonrise situation I've mentioned) but they target neutral people in hope of deceiving them. Anyway here's the comment:

While there's no evidence and the only proof is "trust me bro", the comment itself doesn't look that bad, right? After being told that playing slave-owner simulator and purposefully putting a collar on an escaped slave to "make him crawl" is bad and people pointing that out were not wrong they went on to explain that the mystery "streamer didn't know and has only been playing for 6 hours"

Hmnn… They once again failed to provide ANY evidence. Which I wonder why? They seem to know the story and the streamer quite well, so why not even tell who the streamer was so people can check for themselves what he did, with what intentions and what was the real answer of Astarion fans? Perhaps the "evil Astarion fans" were just people telling him that playing the slave-owner simulator was disgusting. The story and justification itself sound extremely implausible. Why would the mystery streamer who had never played bg3 before, never had heard about it, and had not known the story before specifically look for and download a mod just to make one specific character (an escape, traumatized slave) into his own slave… Something doesn't seem right in their story. They explicitly stated that "the streamer " had only played 6 hours and hadn't been caring or paying attention to the story at all. Yet only after merely 6 hours, he searched for that particular mod to use it specifically on Astarion? I've played the game, and I've watched numerous playthroughs on twitch and youtube. Character creator alone takes almost 1 hour on your first time and the nautiloid tutorial takes another one. It leaves barely 4 hours of the game… Most people, even experienced gamers with gaming channels, are still learning basic mechanisms and are experimenting with them after 4 hours. They're exploring the vastness of the bg3 world and trying to grasp the story. You don't get a lot of companion interactions during the first few hours, and even Astarion's bite scene doesn't usually happen that early. After 4 hours of gameplay most gamers I've watched (and I, myself) were still getting around long/short rest mechanics and trying to learn how combat works… Most people try to understand how the main game works and what it has to offer before getting mods. And you're telling me this streamer who didn't care and didn't pay attention went out of his way to download such a specific mod for Astarion?? It sounds like a bad lie to me. Nobody can check it or verify it without a source, but the comment may sound innocuous on its own. Almost immediately in the same thread, another account started backing them up

Again, it looks harmless, right? Neutral fans and even some Astarion fans may think it's a valid opinion as everybody can dislike different characters.

Imagine my surprise or rather lack of it when I found THE SAME two usernames under another Astarion video talking about how they enjoy putting a collar on Astarion, making him crawl, torturing him and helping Cazador:

And they claim Astarion fans are the toxic ones XDD

There are several messed up things here:

Notice how they talk about enjoying torturing him and playing slave-owner simulator months after making comments defending the "streamer" on the basis that "the streamer didn't know about enslavement". Well, they surely know about Astarion's past and story because they both acknowledge it in their previous comments yet they both are proud of torturing a slave.

They think they're good for doing that

The sheer f* hypocrisy and audacity to say that they're bullied by "toxic fans" when people point out that messed up behavior

The dates. The "newer" comments were made under a video from several months ago, and the original comment had only a few likes and was one of the last ones under the video. You have to scroll a lot to see it. The fact that there is only one hour pause between them is strange. Additionally, the older comments made by those "two" accounts were also made back-to-back. Both are under the same comment/video, in both cases the original comment is not that easy to find because it's either hidden in replies or you really have to scroll the comments to see it, both made in the same very short period under a much older video/thread, both backing each other up and making THE SAME bs points. Interesting… very interesting indeed. XD

I have a strong suspicion that the "mystery streamer" was the second account (if the streamer wasn't made up) and I am practically certain those two accounts are the same individual. Which makes them one of the most pathetic characters I've ever met. They do similar things under other Astarion videos and comments too - purposefully lying making bs takes, and doubling down on it.

I'm too lazy to search or cite all of the bs I've seen them spew and I'm sure there's much more of it under different Astarion content but here are some examples that I find the most ridiculous:

Astarion doesn't approve of saving gnomes at Moonrise (proven to be a lie)

Astarion only approves of saving the hyena and the owlbear because he wants to eat them. (XD)

Astarion admits that he's evil in his good hero epilogue because he answers that he "embraced the darkness" when asked whether he misses walking in the sun

Astarion is evil because he disapproves if you forbid him from drinking animal blood (Don't tell them that other characters eat meat too, that meat is made of dead animals or Karlach knows how a dwarf tastes)

Playing the slave owner simulator is ok. (When said mod was compared to mods of Male Aylin or the mod whitewashing Wyll they said, playing with those mods is ok too)

Having nightmares is not a symptom of PTSD, and having nightmares of your abuser enslaving you again is also definitely not that. When asked to do some basic research they said they don't care what Wikipedia or the Internet says

The wiki and mods are lying and shouldn't be believed, only they're telling the truth and should be blindly believed

They also tried to decanonize the official in-game narrator lines and said origin runs are and events in them are not canon and don't offer companions' perspective. (Like they're arguing that Astarion nightmare doesn't happen despite it being in the game because their character can't see it XDD)

And many many others I don't even have energy to describe. How pathetic do you have to be to create numerous alternative accounts to go under all Astarion videos or threads and lie about fictional characters? They most surely have other fake accounts too. Do you know what's even funnier? They claim "they're not an Astarion hater" to convince neutral fans to believe them blindly. Yes, sure "they are not a hater". They just think Astarion is a disgusting evil monster who deserves to die and they brag about enjoying using slave collars on him and making him crawl. XDDD

I think it would be difficult to find a more hateful, dishonest, contemptible, and foul individual.

P.S. If you ever see a comment where somebody claims they're not an Astarion hater but then lies or tries to spread misinformation about him don't let them deceive you. It's their tactics. Please don't believe them or check every piece of information for yourself. Later, they go and brag about killing him, making him a slave as this individual here. Part 3

[marsprincess889]

Astrologers on tumblr do not owe you free interpretations.

Interesting!

So, somebody took their valuable time and energy to comment these on my recent post:

For context, they asked about ketu and moon in rohini.

Now, I have gotten other asks about ketu placements and at first I answered them, but I added a disclaimer with each one: my interpretation, although not wrong, is formulaic and quite shallow compared what the native can experience of theur ketu, simply because of its nature and what it represents.

Now, this someone seems very triggered that I did not give a full comprehesive analysis +advice.

You guys can see my replies to them in the comments of the previous post.

I do not owe anyone to interpret placements for them.

I do not get paid for it, I did not announce that I'd be interpreting them for free. The ones that I did interpret I did out of my kindness and because of thinking I had substantial information to share, not to mention the fact that I was in the right headspace to do so.

So they have some nerve, making me some black cardinal figure who gatekeeps. + I'm pretty sure they have trouble reading in and understanding English cause I clearly said that I have no idea what it's like to have ketu in rohini, I can only guess.

What can I do....

Edit: idk guys, but instances like this really make me want quit this blog. I started this because of genuine interest and fun and with the desire of wanting to share my observations with others. The amount of people who take things too seriously and miss the point is kind of alarming. It makes bloggers lose motivation and for me, personally, it feels like people only want you to validate what they think is true or to get any kind of info, true or false, just for the sake of knowing "something".

Update: so the main thing here turned out to be the misjudging and the misundersting, but I really did get upset that me doing what I genuinely think is the best and taking the time to explain that triggered someone.

The big reason of why I'm doing this is that I want to share the information, not gatekeep it. Gatekeeping has its value, necessity, time and place and while I am a big fan of boundaries and of respectful space, I want to connect with people on here as best as possible. I love when people resonate to what I write and I hate it when my words are taken the wrong way. I do not want to trigger anyone, and if I do, please, recognize that that was not my intention, and that it is not my fault, I don't think it has ever been on here anyways.

So, wish you all healing and I hope you find what you were looking for here, and if not, then that is fine and absolutely nobody's fault.

[preludicrous]

analyzing “no more what ifs”: akechi's humanity and his fate

post length: ~2k words. SPOILER WARNING for late game content in persona 5 and persona 5 royal, as well as the ‘Proof of Justice’ OVA

no more what ifs is my single favorite track from the entire persona 5 and persona 5 royal soundtracks- like everyone else, akechi is one of my favorite characters in the game, and no more what ifs is a song very closely tied to akechi’s character, often consider by the fandom to be akechi’s equivalent to beneath the mask.

in persona 5 royal, it plays when akechi and joker visit the jazz jin. in the OVA, it also plays at the jazz jin, which joker visits while grieving akechi’s fate in the engine room. the jazz jin as a location is deeply tied to akechi, being a place that akechi goes to relax, think, and spend time alone outside of the public eye. akechi takes joker there and tells joker quite clearly that he never brings other people there, and muhen, the jazz jin owner, points this out as well. the jazz jin is also the location where the game lets you say farewell to akechi on 3/19. going there allows joker to talk with muhen and reflect a bit on him and akechi’s relationship, and it's also there that joker finds akechi’s glove in his pocket.

given that no more what ifs plays in a location that is so important to akechi, it’s fitting that it’s a song that about akechi’s mental state and gives the players a peek into his psyche. just like beneath the mask gives players more about joker’s character, revealing his struggle with his identity and place in society outside the metaverse, no more what ifs tells about akechi’s hopes and fears.

i also believe that while on its own no more what ifs is already quite a profound and meaningful song, the full meaning of it can only be appreciated within the context of maruki’s third semester, and how that ties with akechi’s fate. to me, no more what ifs is about akechi’s grapple with mortality, given that his existence is likely fundamentally tethered to maruki’s false reality. after all, even though it plays before semester 3, the jazz jin as a location and no more what ifs as a song only exist in persona 5 royal and not base persona 5, which to me is a sign that the song should be considered within the context of the full game of persona 5 royal, and not just the base game of persona 5. the connection between this song and akechi’s mortality is also strengthened in the proof of justice ova, which takes place following the engine room and akechi is implied to maybe have… well, you know.

even the name of the song, no more what ifs… yeah.

the lyrics

akechi’s entire life has been defined by fleeting relationships. his father abandons them, his mother dies, he is passed from foster family to foster family. he can’t make friends due to his public image as the detective prince. but joker is different, quite possibly the first real friend akechi ever has, and even though he needs to kill joker to realize his goal of taking down shido, he also knows on some level that his and joker's relationship isn't so simple.

on a literal level, akechi goes to the jazz jin alone often to think and relax. to sit with himself and take a step away from the world. in the third semester, he is alone emotionally even if he isn't alone physically. other than maruki, nobody else knows the secret of his fate, akechi’s the only one that knows that maruki’s reality is keeping him alive. even though he’s physically alongside the thieves and allies with joker, he grapples with his fate alone. and in the face of his impending death when the thieves inevitably face off with maruki and eliminate this reality, akechi looks back on his life, reflecting on and questioning his choices.

akechi’s entire existence has been focused on revenge and survival. given his relentless nature in pursuing his goals, and the numerous obstacles he has to overcome, he was too focused on moving forward and never thought twice about what he was doing. but in the third semester, both of these goals fall aside- shido is in jail, so trying to get revenge on shido no longer drives him, and survival doesn’t really matter either when he’s fairly confident that he’s already dead outside of maruki’s reality. akechi finally gets to catch his breath. without these two driving goals occupying his mental energy, he gets the first chance to really look back on his choices and collect his thoughts on them. were those choices correct? is he proud of who he is, what he’s done? all these questions are also much more significant in the face his looming death. it forces him to look upon himself and see what he managed to amount to, and if he’s happy with that, since he knows his story is coming to a close.

akechi looks back on his life and, upon reflection, decides he has no regrets. that he’s proud of what he has done and what he has chosen. that no matter what anyone else says, he is pursuing his own notion of justice- for which he does not apologize.

this line strikes me as particularly poignant in the context of maruki’s reality, where so much has changed, including things that shouldn’t be able to be changed. after all, in this reality, akechi is a free man, he has not committed any crimes, he’s on good enough terms with joker, he’s not a murderer. he could start anew. but he refuses to. because akechi’s trauma and choices- those are what make akechi who he is, and akechi never apologizes for who he is.

akechi will always be himself. he refuses to be anyone else. he refuses to live in a reality where he is twisted and changed into someone he is not. in the ending where maruki’s reality is accepted, akechi regresses to solely being his detective prince persona- a persona which we know is a lie. the ‘real’ akechi gets erased, which is awful - to akechi, he would rather die true to himself, than live as a fake-sweet, more palatable version of himself that satisfies someone else.

akechi wants a lot of things. he wants a less shitty father, friends, a place to belong, the opportunity to atone, for his soul to be free and unburdened. but those things were just not in the books for him, unfortunately. and, in the face of his death, he learns to be okay with that. he lets go of the idea of maruki’s world, the idea of having all these things, the possibilities of these ‘what ifs’- because accepting maruki’s reality would be a betrayal of himself, his past, and all the struggles he had to overcome.

quiite possibly my favorite part of the song- we find out that akechi is afraid.

akechi is adamant in front of joker and the other thieves that they take down maruki’s reality, even though he’s aware that it spells death for him. he seems certain, determined, unafraid of death- firm in his choice, free of all doubts, to the point where he even manages to fool some players.

don’t let akechi fool you. this decision is not easy for him.

akechi HATES vulnerability and being vulnerable around people. he’s afraid of it, and given his background it’s pretty understandable why. he HATES being pitied so very much. so he puts up a front of being certain, confident, and unafraid, because that's what he feels like he has to do.

all the characters grapple with uncomfortable losses and sacrifices regarding the real world and maruki’s ideal world. but the phantom thieves support each other through it, and sumire also has everyone even though she isn’t technically a phantom thief. akechi, however, doesn’t allow himself to open up about his fears to anyone, so he silently grapples with his fears completely alone, quite possibly through the entirety of the third semester, even though his fate is likely the worst one out of all of them.

he is also worried that the phantom thieves, particularly joker, finding out that he’s experiencing fear and having doubts would make them less firm in their resolve to challenge maruki. he knows he can’t live in maruki’s reality, he refuses, which means he needs joker to take down maruki. joker finding out that akechi would no longer be alive if they take down maruki already makes the choice more complicated as it is. if joker knew he was even a little bit afraid of the consequences, joker might end up changing his mind, which he cannot allow to happen.

he very clearly downplays his life on 2/2, referring to the threat on his life as “bullshit” and “trivial” - he’s convincing himself as much as he is convincing joker. he’s ‘burning his dread’. joker responding with something like “this isn’t trivial” angers him, because joker is acknowledging the one thing he is trying to deny- that he’s afraid of dying.

akechi is afraid, he just chooses to reject maruki’s reality anyway. he steels his resolve and refuses to compromise his principles, even in the face of fear. (the same idea can also be applied to 11/20, btw- it isn't a stretch to think he's afraid of what he must do- of killing & losing joker). it’s also fitting that ‘burn my dread’ is mentioned here, given that p3 thematically focuses on death.

akechi is living on a time limit, so damn him if he isn’t going to make the most of every day. damn him if he isn’t going to cut the bullshit, drop the act, show his true colors. no more detective prince- he has only a bit of time left to live, so damn him if he isn’t going to live as akechi.

(he’s still not being fully honest in the third semester- he’s still keeping people away by overplaying his terrifying, ruthless exterior, he’s still using those unhealthy defensive mechanisms that he picked up in his youth, but he’s… closer to being honest, closer than he has been for a long time.)

i like this line because it just humanizes akechi, because even underneath all the anger and the lies and the revenge, he’s just a boy. he likes billiards and bouldering and jazz. as angry and bitter as he is at the world, music still speaks to him.

remember: akechi HATES losing and particularly hates losing to joker. just as joker took the reins and carved his own destiny, akechi will do the same.

of course, the first line is about the idea that nothing is guaranteed and nothing is to be taken for granted, especially with akechi now knowing that he’s living on borrowed time. after all, the other people maruki revived, okumura and wakaba, simply disappeared without warning as soon as the phantom thieves realized they weren’t real… something that could just as well happen to akechi when he least expects it.

the second line though– throws me off. akechi has never exactly been a joyous person, and he’s… not really trying to fill the last few weeks of his life with joy based on what we see of him. i think this line might just be a bit of an outlier, or maybe he’s finding joy in the little things offscreen and we just aren’t seeing it because he’s not willing to be vulnerable in front of joker?

regardless though, no more what ifs as a song is about akechi grappling with his mortality, accepting his coming death, and coming to terms with his life. it shows us more about akechi, makes him more human; he’s afraid of death, even though he doesn’t want anyone else to know, and he genuinely likes jazz, which explains his constant visits to the jazz club. just like beneath the mask shows us more about joker that we don’t get through the rest of the game, no more what ifs gives us a better understanding of akechi and the offscreen struggle with his mortality that he deals with in the third semester.

i love this song, and i love akechi.

[stariikis]

𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞 | 𝐤𝐬𝐧

synopsis ; you're definitely sunoo's number one photographer, said so even by himself. usually you're the first to be pointed out by him, but today he doesn't even spare you a glance before walking in his concert venue.

pairing ; guitarist!sunoo x femphotographer!reader genre ; hurt/comfort, fluff, established rs, oneshot disclaimer ; this is NOT an smau, i just included these two texts for context ^^ enjoy reading!

(click to expand pictures)

Hurriedly fishing your digital camera out of its pouch, you alight the bus and rush towards where hundreds, nearly thousands of people are congregating. There's a good mix of male and female fans, but they all have one thing in common - they're here to see your boyfriend perform.

Two teenage girls whisper behind hands to each other, barely concealing their excitement. You can feel their gazes burning your back alive as they try to subtly point at you, but it's no use for them. Before they can scurry off, you turn and wave at them.

As much as you would like to have your own meet and greet with Sunoo's fans, you slip past the blinding camera flashes, huge tripod set-ups and the bustling groups of fans to reach the front of the crowd. Hoping to catch a glimpse of your boyfriend before he makes it into the venue.

After apologising to several mildly annoyed fans, you finally stumble out of the crowd. And there, a little ways away, Sunoo turns to face you. Everyone around you starts to scream, when the artist begins to tug his guitar case from the back of the van.

While everyone marvels at the sight of Kim Sunoo right before their eyes, all you are looking at is the sticker you pasted on the back of his case. The signature he asked you to put, hidden next to the zipper. You wonder if everybody else sees it, too, or if it's a secret for you to keep.

Girlfriend privileges, you joke to yourself.

When Sunoo successfully heaves the case over his shoulder, a surprisingly loose grip on the sling, he turns back around to greet his fans.

Usually, his gaze scans the crowd to search for you. His eyes will visibly sparkle with an eagerness that can't be explained when they land on you. He'll grin to himself, do a tiny little wave of glee and continue walking to his destination.

However, this time, he seems either oddly sure that you're not around, or is plain ignoring your presence. Dramatically, like a scene in a movie or tv show, time seems to slow. Sunoo's eyes skip past you, moving with the crowd. And as the crowd moves with Sunoo and his bodyguards, the only barrier a few mere cones, you stand still.

You're fortunate that the strap connected to your camera is looped around your wrist when you drop the whole thing abruptly.

No. This can't be. You're not only Sunoo's girlfriend. You're his tip-top personal photographer. The highest HD qualities of him come from your digital Canon camera, and your camera only. You're not going to go home with an empty camera roll.

Relying on the hope that the security guards recognise you, you enter the area marked by the cones and dart after Sunoo.

"Yah!" You yell out, to nobody in particular as you enter the restricted zone in the stadium. It's a huge recreational area, off boundaries just for today's concert. Breaking through the crowd for the second time definitely stalled you for too long, because Sunoo is nowhere to be found in the empty room.

Across the dark, foot-ball field sized room, there's a staircase, leading to the backstage. You assume that's where Sunoo is, since he needs to rehearse with the two others in the band in about... you check your watch. About ten minutes.

You can hear Jungwon's voice trailing from the floor above, and that's what helps you make the decision to take the stairs up.

Why you decided to run, slip and fall at the first three steps of the staircase, however, you're not very sure. An agonising pain shoots up your ankle while your camera skids across the ground.

Letting out a hiss, you bring your hands to grab the base of your leg, willing the sharp pain away. Your head's a little dazed, but you can recognise Riki as he rushes down the stairs upon hearing the loud crash.

"Y/n!" He exclaims, doing a 360 to see if Sunoo's nearby. "What did you do? Are you okay?"

"No, not really," you wince a little sarcastically, trying not to break face in front of Sunoo's bandmate, who has assigned you as his punching bag of teasing remarks. Riki rolls his eyes and straightens up to call your boyfriend over.

"Sunoo! Your girlfriend's injured!"

Your eyes squeezed shut to block out the pain, you don't notice when Sunoo flies down the stairs and materialises right next to you after a few minutes pass.

"Hey, y/n, what did you do to yourself?" He presses an ice pack against your right ankle in lieu of your hands gripping it desperately.

"It's okay, I think it's just sprained," Riki sighs and continues unhelpfully, "you're such a bad boyfriend. I was the first one down here."

"Yah!" Sunoo glares his way. "You took one look at her and didn't know what to do and called me!"

"I'm joking, hyung," Riki raises his hands in a surrendering motion, the laid-back grin on his face never dissipating. With that, he spins on his heel and walks back up the stairs, leaving you and Sunoo in silence.

When you can't take the chilling quietness anymore, you blurt, "what did I do?"

You're prone to overthinking, yes, but there must be a reason warranting why Sunoo refused to acknowledge you there outside the venue.

"What did you do?" Sunoo echoes in confusion, tilting his head and adjusting the ice pack on your ankle. "What do you mean?"

"Did you not see me earlier?" you hiccup, and it hasn't even occurred to you that you're crying. The ice is doing little to numb the pain, and with Sunoo acting so off, you're not sure how to feel okay. "You didn't greet me, didn't wave. You just walked away."

"Y/n," Sunoo laughs, "I really, truly, didn't know you were there." He whips his phone out of his pocket and opens your chat, continuing to chuckle quietly to himself. "I'm so sorry I didn't see your texts. I had already reached the venue and had no idea you were there too. I assumed you were going to be late."

Your voice cracks embarrassingly when you say, "you could have at least tried," before shoving his shoulder gently.

"I'm sorry, baby," he murmurs, half-amused. He does not sound sorry at all. But then he leans back, pouts, and then kisses the top of your head. "I'll let you get even better resolution pictures, okay?"

Although Sunoo's interpretation of what an apology is... may be a little warped, he's still your boyfriend, and the show must go on. As promised, when you take your front row seats next to both Jungwon's and Riki's respective plus ones, you take the best, most satisfactory pictures you've ever taken.

you're just the best at photography aren't you 🥰

thank you for reading!! feedback is always appreciated.

more of my works >

[itsblasttothepast]

Its sad when no other driver besides Max, Esteban and Carlos cared enough for Checo to send him a message or being nice to him. Im surprised about Lance, he pointed out theyre friends or Alonso, its awful like they just can leave behind someone after so many years. Daniel got such nice messages, and here Max who doesnt even care about Checo said something. Ive seen you posting things from other blogs but you havent said what you think about it, do you think this was fair?

Oh wow... a lot going on with this ask, so I'm going to answer separately as I see fit, I hope that's okay anon.

First, the message thing: I think the rest of the grid is waiting for Checo to announce something official, either his retirement of his future plans. For what I remember (but feel free to correct me, as I don't recall well), Ricciardo made a post about his retirement, right? Like making it official?

Esteban was the first (even before Max) in posting a message to Checo because he's nice and always respected Checo (even when it didn't seem like it when they were teammates). Max I feel had to do it because they were teammates, he had PR to mantain (I'm not saying it wasn't something Max would do, but in context, it would be bad taste if he didn't), and Carlos probably thought the same, as Checo has been close to him (not in a BFF way, but still). And they refer mostly to his exit from RBR, and Esteban and Carlos said they will see him again in his next journey, so... I would take with a grain of salt this topic.

If he does announce something and then the drivers still don't answer or say anything about it, then I'll be very disappointed, particularly with Lance, Fernando, Lewis and Nico.

Secondly, the posts: I have reblogged what I see portrays my feelings about this whole situation. Personally, I believe my thoughts are still too raw and emotional, so I probably would make zero sense and just ramble. There's too much I want to say, and so little order in my head. Which is why I take advantage of those who can put in words better what we as Checo fans are going through.

Thirdly, do I think it's fair? Anon, nothing about this is fair, but as Checo said, life isn't fair and neither is F1. People complaining about a driver just because he was in a particular team, wishing for him to be dead and sending threats to his family, to his kids who are innocent from all this drama... Calling him names, saying he has cartel money without caring what it would mean to his family. Spending all year trying his best with a shitty car, being ignored and gaslighted by his bosses; believing in them when they offered a new contract, just to push him away from the team and making everything his fault, letting the press destroy his image and his confidence, to the breaking point of having to leave and break the contract, and still being the bad guy and blame him for everything that went wrong. Leaving and yet they still talk about him, say awful things and then adding 'he's still part of the team, he will be our puppet next year for certain events'... of course it's not fair.

Checo was treated horrible, and nobody seems to see this, except his fans and the fans of the other drivers RBR has discarded the past years. I've read that he knew what he was getting into when he stayed at RBR, but this year... this takes the cake as the psychological horrors a person can live on the job; and for Checo to want to stay and don't give up, but at the end the choices being staying and maybe damaging himself beyond repair, or quitting and regain some of the mental health he left behind the past years... I think he made the right choice, but it doesn't mean it didn't hurt like hell.

Because Checo is more than RBR, he was a driver pushing his limits, making himself a place in the grid when nobody wanted him there. And as his fans, seeing his journey to the top and now seeing how they tried to destroy him... it makes something in you feel like bad guys win all the time.

So, yeah... I think I rambled a lot, but you wanted my opinion, and I'm maybe not as eloquent as the ones I've reblogged so far, but my thoughts are still so disoriented.

Whatever Checo decides, I'm with him all the way, but if this is the end, if he decides to retire, is not fair he had to do it like this, without the opportunity to actually enjoy his last year driving. And it will leave a sour taste in me always.

[midnight--sadness]

(yr anon!)

the stuff u said about inho elevating gihun to a god was sooo good ugh u best believe gihun’s making him a devoted follower

THE ARES APHRODITE COMPARISON TOO UGGAG UR BRAIN!! and yet again the parallel to sangwoo!!! now you got me hoping we get some hands reaching for each other/hand holding in season 3 im rooting for their happy ending im sure this will age well

OH i saw ur ethel cain rec!! ur so right it fits them so well!! esp the little bit in ur screenshot? god these two are gonna kill me, the way i want them to hold each other like the other would break if they squeezed too hard and the way i also want them eat each other alive

mm todays music recs!

for inhun

• ‘you send me’ sam cooke

• ‘unforgettable’ nat king cole

• ‘ill be seeing you’ billie holiday

i think inho is fond of romantic oldies like this + he wants that fly me to the moon moment sooo bad

for inho

• ‘tipsy’ chloe x halle

(hes so normal)

(rip the homie jungbae)

for sangwoo

• ‘mood’ by sir ft zacari

do anything for the cash + the gunshots + give me space let me breathe (him pushing gihun away during their games) need an edit of him to this so bad

for sangihun

• ‘chove chuva’ jorge ben jor

• ‘funny honey’ (chicago)

ok walk with me i hope u see the vision, ignoring the context, this is sooo post season 1 confession sangihun ghost au to me

after sangwoo’s death, all the anger between them dissipates (the way it’d never would if sangwoo was alive) and results in sangwoo being sooo nice to gihun (who unfortunately cannot hear him and is hoping sangwoo is somewhere nicer than here) like he’s soo tender and sweet.

constantly attempts to leave little kisses on gihuns hands, face, etc (took him a while to get to this point but hes so desperate to touch and comfort gihun, his prides out the window, he knows hes pathetic) hes constantly chatting to gihun (who again CANNOT hear him and is spending everyday quietly stewing and plotting) hes out here asking gihun what he wants to eat and tsking about the house being dirty etc

partly because being a ghost prob makes someone sentimental and eager to talk to people they’d be distant with in life,

partially because i think, at the beginning, maybe theres a moment where gihuns grieving and in denial and so he pretends sangwoo is with him like they survived together and sangwoos concerned, especially when its MONTHS of this and gihuns not really living or taking care of himself but part of him so happy to have his hyung’s attention… theyre both pretending the games didnt absolutely shred them apart

one day, gihun has a moment where he drags finally himself out of this denial stage, says his goodbye to sangwoo and gets ready to leave to america etc

sangwoos relieved mostly, heartbroken partially but overall understanding of course, and happy for his hyung. hes thinking about leaving too cuz as long as gihuns happy the worlds ok, this new chapter of life will be kinder to him than the last one

and then. gihun doesnt get on the plane, he spirals trying to find a way to stop the games etc and of course sangwoo is pleading to nobody about how this is very stupid and how gihuns gonna get himself killed, who does he think he is going up against a giant criminal death game organization like NO ONE WOULD DO THAT?

no one would do that… and suddenly his chest is full of honey and pride and hes fawning over gihun so bad, like dont get him wrong hes still worried and afraid but also hes feeling proud and loved cuz for the first time in months gihuns speaking to him, about him, gihuns offering him justice and promises to deliver no matter what. (i will destroy what took you from me, at the cost of my sanity and wellness i will avenge you)

and sangwoo… it makes him sick thinking about it but also so so proud of his strong, brave hyung, hes allowing himself to be impressed with gihuns audacity (for once) (if he was alive this would be a different story, hes not entertaining this shit, but as a ghost he’s not thinking clearly and cant help preening about how special and nice his hyung is, its like they’re kids again and hes just happy to be apart of the team, side by side with someone dear to him)

maybe sangwoo lets himself be very indulgent and unembarrassed cuz he’s mentally broken up about EVERYTHING (and also hes really the only one around who cares if hes being embarrassing hes dead anyway)

to me the lyrics are a perfect mix of sweet gooeyness and teasing on sangwoo’s part, hes watching gihun prep n fuss, and gihuns sooo not qualified for this but hes TRYING, logically he knows this is gonna be a mess but also hes getting wrapped up in gihun’s delusions too

torn between imagining Amos’s part as either gihun’s reaction to the youngil/inho reveal (with the roxie parts being replaced by inho, sangwoo’s ghost is very offended this) orrrr inho crashing out cuz gihun’s got sangwoo in his head still idkkk im thinkinnn it doesnt fit too perfectly either way im not stressin im here for sangwoo serenading his hubby

(in a perfect world sangwoo is gooey about gihun the way gihun is gooey about him, crazy it takes him dying for it)

for the trio ™️

• ‘el único’ by ca7riel & paco amoroso (specifically the tiny desk version cuz the way they sing “WE’VE BEEN FUCKING THE SAME GIRLLL” scratches an itch in my brain) makes me picture a no games au sangwoo and inho are coworkers and realize they both have a friends with benefits situation w/ gihun (they werent even aware the other knew gihun!)

(then they crash out together cuz they figure that means hes got a whole roster of men hes hiding from them and now they’re teaming up to cockblock everyone else whos a little too close for comfort, vague on if theyre right or not, this has been said before im still waiting for someone to write it 🫶 im greedy tho i also want them to not only defeat gihuns 7 evil sidehoes but also have to win the affection of the horde of kids who claim him as their father figure, and the gaggle of women who claim theyre his best friends ever, these guys gotta WORK for it im talking 100,00 words of them being humiliated at several work events and parties, dragged through different shopping centers, parks etc, squeezed financially, mugged, i mean this shit goes on and on before theyre deemed Good ‘Nough by jungbae after gihun mentions how happy they make him and suddenly everyone is cool about too lol

by the time its all over theyre not even trying to fight each other anymore, they just work out a timeshare schedule and trade the hubby back and forth.)

thats it for now! bonus rec cuz i know u like daeho/gihun i think it’d make u laugh to picture them while listening to ‘damn thats my mama!’ by joshua crawford ^_^

have a nice one, thanks again for lettin me yap i appreciate it!

ahh i'm glad you liked my recs and my insane rambles abt these idiot men 😩🥹🙏

inho definitely loves the oldies!! in fact, vera lynn's "we'll meet again" was playing in his head when he had that convo with gihun in the limo!

OH MY GOD THAT SANGIHUN GHOST SANGWOO AU IS SOO GOOOD!! 😭😩

sangwoo only being his true self when he is dead because he no one has any expectations of him, he can be who he wants to be - a patethic, yearning fool for his hyung 💖

AND OH MY GOD THE INHUN/SANGIHUN AU WHERE THEY SHARE GIHUN 💖💖💖💖💖 10/10, i need them to grovel on the floor and prove that they love gihun and are worthy of being with him 😭😭😭 need saebyeok to pickpocket them 950327 times and steal their money

thank u for the daehun gift 😩🙏 they are my sweet rarepair

you are very welcome!! everyone can yap as much as they want here!!! 🫶😌

[08melancholie]

Honeysuckle and Whiskey. — Micah Bell/OC

CHAPTER 13 — Oh-So Blessed.

words: 3,321 | AO3 LINK — MASTERLIST

"A parley? Colm O'Driscoll? Hah, have you lost your mind?" Melody cocks her head at Micah, who just scoffs in return.

Melody and Dutch were having a conversation inside his tent when Micah and Mr. Pearson came up, talking about some 'parley' that Colm and his men wanted, to end the decade-long feud between the two men and their gangs.

Micah turns from Dutch to Melody at her reply, raising an eyebrow. "Thought you was an optimist, what's this then?" He says, to which Melody gives another small laugh.

Arthur walks up to the group after hearing the context of the conversation, curious. "I am—but I also know Colm O'Driscoll well enough, to know this is bull." Melody reasons, and Dutch hums thoughtfully at it. "Him asking for a parley is admitting defeat in his eyes; and he'd never do that, trust me."

Micah gives another scoff, looking between Arthur, Melody, Dutch and Pearson. He's about to retort when, from a nearby table, Hosea jumps in and lowers his newspaper: "They want a parley? It's a trap." He adds, and Melody nods with a small 'thank you' to the older man.

Micah rolls his eyes and completely dismisses both people and their comments. "We've got nothing to lose, finding out." he adds, still trying to convince the group this was a good idea.

"Get shot." Arthur butts in quickly, and its soon turned into a three-versus-two for Micah.

"Not when you'll be the one protecting us, cowpoke!" Micah retorts, placing a hand on Arthur's shoulder. "We'll find you somewhere safe, high up with a scope." Micah's proposition has Melody rolling her eyes once more, clearly not a fan of the idea. "It's a trap; you shoot the lot of them. If it ain't a trap, that slim chance..."

Finally, Dutch puts a stop to the debate. "I killed Colm's brother. Then he killed... a woman I loved dear." He stops to look to the side, as if actually considering, before making a choice that has Melody standing up from her chair, not as relaxed anymore; "Let's go. You, me, with Arthur protecting us." Dutch says, pointing to a very smug Micah and a worried Arthur.

"Dutch—are you certain, boss?" Melody follows close behind him, extremely skeptical. Dutch shushes her, dismissing her off with a wave of his hand. Clearly, they aren't taking her warnings seriously enough—she knows Colm, knows what he's like, and knows for a fact this cannot end well, for anyone.

With nothing to do in camp, Melody decided to go around and catch up a bit—see how everyone's holding up with the new camp, or if there's anything to be done she could help with. While walking around, she soon stops in her tracks, a frown painting her face. On the shoreline is a distressed-looking Molly O'Shea, and she looks to be crying; her face buried and hidden in her hands, slumped and twitching shoulders very visible to Melody. And with nothing else to do—and seeing how nobody else is looking to help calm the poor woman—Melody walks over. "Miss O'Shea." She greets, taking a seat on the rock next to her while keeping a friendly and comfortable distance between herself and the lady.

Molly looks up from her palms, mascara smudgy and eyes still glossy—confirming the unfortunate assumption Melody made, that being that she was crying. "Miss Mühl." The woman greets back, straightening up a bit in her spot. "How are 'ya holding up?"

"I think I should be the one asking you that, miss." Melody looks away briefly, digging in her satchel for a moment before offering Molly a handkerchief. "Don't worry, its clean." She add.

Molly accepts the offered tissue. "Thank you, dear." She gently runs the white fabric underneath her puffy, red eyes, wiping the black from the mascara off.

Melody looks at her sympathetically. "What's with the tears, miss?" Melody asks worriedly, watching as the woman wipes her eyes dry, but the red stays very prominent under her slight eyebags.

Instead of getting the reply she was hoping for, Molly slumps over once more, unable to look at Melody much longer. "Oh, its... you don't have to worry your head with all'at." She says dismissively, which worries Melody all the more.

"Miss, I just want to help. You can tell me if you want to, but I won't force it." Melody repeats hopefully, and it has Molly pondering for a moment again, debating if spilling her heart out and letting her inner problems free was really the right step to take.

"Its Dutch. He.. well, Dutch is Dutch." She mumbles, looking down between her feet solemnly. "I see him.. when he don't think I'm lookin', and he's starin' at that young Mary-Beth and.. and..." She then pauses, and her eyes meet Melody, before it goes blurry for Molly and her eyes dampen again.

And Melody understands rather quickly. "You don't think.. Miss O'Shea, Dutch is like a—"

"'A 'father', eh? 'Ya, that's what he says." Molly mumbles with her red lip quivering slightly, holding back another wave of tears. "He's a liar, that.. that man." Her voice falters, and she brings the small napkin back to her face.

Well, that sure is something to think about now. Melody copies the other woman's' position, leaning over like she is. A small silence passes them before Molly mutters an apology, and gets up. "I don't blame 'ya either, that's just Dutch." Those are the final words Molly gives Melody, before she walks off towards her and Dutch's shared tent.

How is Melody expected to look at Dutch the same after that? She could have never imagined Dutch—a noble leader, a father figure, her boss—looking at her in such a light. She almost feels sick from the information, staring at the ground with a churning in her stomach. The boys will be back any moment, and she'll just be expected to act normal with Dutch now? She can't even imagine that, and the fact that Dutch would so obviously do such a thing, it makes her sick and partially resentful.

As said previously, while busying her with cleaning up around camp a little, she sees Micah and Dutch ride into camp. Melody puts down the ammo boxes she was organizing and walks over, first greeting Micah with a small nod and his name, then turning to Dutch with the same, maybe a little more quietly. "How'd your.. 'parley' go?" She questions, mostly looking to Micah.

"Odd," Micah replies, sliding off of Baylock's saddle. "the two of 'em talked a little, but the parley was never mentioned. But, nobody was shot." He adds, grinning at Melody who just rolls her eyes at him.

She then looks behind them, having expected Arthur to be trailing not far behind. "Where's Morgan?"

Dutch looks at her as he dismounts The Count, raising an eyebrow. "What do you mean, 'where's Morgan?', he's supposed to be in camp already." He says, placing his hands on his hips.

"No.. Arthur ain't here." Melody replies, furrowing her eyebrows. "I thought you'd be coming back together, all three?"

Dutch's face shifts, along with Micah's who's been listening in from the side. "He didn't meet us at the cross-section, we assumed he already left for camp." Micah explains and Dutch backs him up with a nod of his head.

Melody sighs, getting mighty worried. "Well he obviously ain't here! You gotta go see—"

"I'm sure he's off doing whatever, like he always is. Don't worry about old Arthur so much, darling." Dutch interjects, but Melody isn't convinced—nor is she too happy with the term of endearment. Melody goes to butt in again, but is quickly shut down by Dutch. "Let's not argue, Melody. Just go and continue what you were doing. If he doesn't show until tomorrow, we'll get Charles to track and look for him.

"Dutch!" Melody exclaims, clearly not a fan of waiting so long, just to be corrected by Dutch.

"Boss."

Melody huffs. "Boss, this is serious. Please, just let me—"

And yet again, Dutch doesn't let her get a word in. "Enough, Melody. My word is final, you know this." He reprimands her, to which she just frowns. How could he be this careless about someone he calls his son?

Dutch then sent her off to her tent, and left for his own to speak to Hosea about the parley, but someone was still tethering on the line between the two sides; Micah. He thought it odd that Arthur didn't follow the plan they set out, as he's usually Dutch's golden boy, always following his rules to the last detail—and now he isn't even showing up in camp after such a high-stake mission? He knew it wasn't his place, much like Melody's, so he didn't bother to interject with Dutch's order. Nonetheless, he felt bad for Melody and how distressed she looked over Arthur.

But Melody wouldn't let this slide so easily.

Taking orders from Dutch was fine—but this? She knew Colm too well, and everything just pointed to him in her eyes. So, with much reluctance and overthinking, she waited for nightfall to test her tracking skills and see if they're still good. While most members got busy at the fire, drinking and singing per tradition, she snuck off to her horse and saddled it, quietly and swiftly leaving the camp as she worked to follow the horse tracks still somewhat visible in the dirt, holding a lantern up to the ground once far enough from camp. If nobody cared to check on Arthur, she would. And so, there she was; following very faint horse tracks with a lot of hope that they were still Arthurs'. Then came an intersection, which lead up a hill where Arthur's sniper was. She knew it. Instantly, she continued following any horse tracks leading down the hill, determined to find her friend.

It took some time, but she started seeing faint lights surrounding a building, and sure enough, there she was; looking at that ugly green on everyone in the form of a vest, neckerchief or hat accessory. She could immediately feel her breathing quickening, the nerves hitting her in an instant. Jesus, she hasn't seen them in so long, and yet she could still recognize a few easily. She was slowly starting to realize just how foolish this was, one wrong move and she'd be in the hands of Colm again—probably never getting out of his grasp again.

But this was for Arthur, the man who let her live and who got her a chance at a better life with the Van der Lindes, so she had to do what she could.

She slipped her bandana over her lower half, tying it at the back of her head before she rode down the tracks she came from, quietly and carefully avoiding any O'Driscoll in the area. After a while, it was getting too hard and risky to constantly avoid them, so she got the most important guns off her horse and sent it off. "I'll call you later, girl." She murmurs, and once more, she nears the area.

It was being guarded heavier than ever, and that was already a bad sign in Melody's eyes. Her forehead was glistening with sweat and her nerves were high, but if she was going to do this, she had to do it right, and stop feeling bad for the people who tormented—and let her be tormented—for years. So, she drew a few of her throwing knives.

The first kill was the hardest; a man was standing in one spot and not moving even an inch, and she had no time to waste by going all around, so she aimed—and threw her knife. Stabbed in the back, ironic.

With much reluctance, she used up a total of four throwing knives, and once her own hunting blade, totaling to killing five O'Driscolls. Despite what she said, she avoided the ones she clearly remembered, not having it in her to get them. But finally, she came to the small building which was being guarded the most, pressing her ear to the thin walls.

Her breathing was debating between quickening and stopping, as she heard Colm's voice. Jesus, it's been over six months, half a year, since she's heard his voice, and it still hit the worst. Hell, even her eyes started to water slightly, which she quickly wiped into her sleeve when she heard Arthur groan and moan in pain, with the faint sound of beating. She's all too familiar with that treatment from Colm. It was a hellish two minutes of repetitive hitting and groaning, but it finally stopped after a moment—which felt like years—when footsteps neared the door. Melody ducked and hid behind the first structure she saw, when Colm emerged.

Her lungs felt like they were closing in on her, with her hands trembling. The sight of him after so many months broke her, it was like she was reliving the past few years of her life all over, remembering the hell that came with it. But she had to push her feelings aside; Arthur was the priority here. As soon as Colm left the room, she scurried down the stairs, just to be met with an upside-down tied up Arthur, wheezing and looking the roughest she's ever seen him.

"Oh, Arthur.." She mumbled, frowning at the sight as she took her bandana off.

Arthur looked at her through squinted eyes, which soon widened. "M..Melody? Did Dutch send—"

"I had to come alone, since Dutch wanted to 'wait until tomorrow' before we went looking." She cuts him off as she looks around in her satchel, getting a small lockpick she has with her out for his shackles. "I'll tell you later, let me get you down.." She mumbled, pulling a chair up in front of him to reach up to the shackles where his legs were cuffed, picking the lock and warning Arthur just as he was about to fall. He thuds to the ground as Melody helps him up, looking at his bullet wound. "Shit.."

Arthur looks at it as well, but waves it off. "It's fine.. if we get back in time, I can get m'self patched up fine." He brushes the wound off, and Melody reluctantly listens to him. That's when a voice from above calls something out, and somebody starts walking down the stairs. Swiftly, Melody and Arthur both take one side of the wall, and Arthur quickly apprehends the O'Driscoll and chokes him out quietly, giving a small nod to Melody before they start going up the stairs—just to be stopped a second time by another pair of voices.

"What's taking so long?"

"It's one thing torturin' a man, but it's another thing forcing him through the stories of his homeland."

The two men who were conversing slowly walk away, and the two outlaws exhale a breath they'd been holding in. Melody silently gestures for Arthur to follow, handing him a revolver if need be. With that, they quietly walk around to first gather Arthur's guns, Melody getting two more O'Driscoll men with her throwing knives before they move into the room and gather all of Arthur's things. While getting his guns and satchel, a man walks into the small cabin. Shit.

Arthur, sadly, has to fire a shot, seeing how the man instantly points his gun up at me. The shot rings through the mostly-silent area, and all hell breaks lose. Bullets start flying in the direction of the cabin, and Melody has to shove herself and Arthur down to the ground to avoid them. "Well, that was going pretty well.." She murmured, checking her gun ammo from her crouched position.

"Seems we gotta shoot our way outta here," Arthur starts aiming his gun, his aim a bit disturbed by the dizziness from his beatings, but he still manages. With his and Melody's combined forces, they manage to get quite a few men down, before they have to just suck it up and flee the cabin, hoping for the best as Melody whistles for her horse, helping Arthur get as far away from the area as he stumbles and limps over to where Anni is whinnying, shooting his best at the charging men while Melody mounts up. As soon as she's on the horse, he holsters the gun and grabs her extended hand, getting up behind her and holding onto her shoulders as she kicks her horse forward.

That's when Colm rides into the area, back from wherever he was originally staying, and he sees her. Melody Mühl, alive and well; saving a goddamn Van der Linde and killing his men.

He watches the horse ride off as his men fire at it, missing the shots. But Colm isn't at all angered. Oh no, this is amazing. "Ey, c'mere." He whistles for one of his men, who instantly walks over to the leader. "Go on and get rid of the other one. She won't be of use anymore," He orders the man, chuckling darkly.

"seems my Melody is still loud and clear."

The ride back to camp is silent, with Arthur being simply too exhausted for anymore action, or anything really, and Melody seething—thinking about what could have been if she hadn't been so stubborn. The sun rises slowly in front of them as they near Clemens Point, bracing themselves.

Melody rides into the camp and hitches Anni, jumping off and helping Arthur to the best of her ability. In an instant, people notice his stare and rush over.

"Arthur?" Karen comes up and looks at the man worriedly, as Melody slings his arm over her shoulder. Mary-Beth and Abigail follow with their own callouts of his name, before Dutch and Micah arrive.

Dutch is first to speak. "Son? Son.. What happened?" He glances at Melody only briefly, but its a knowing glance—she knows she'll get reprimanded later, but she doesn't care.

"It was a setup, Dutch.. Colm, he.. he was gonna turn 'ya in to clear his name." Arthur explains briefly, coughing and clinging onto Melody and her horse.

"My boy.. my son, come.." Dutch mumbles, calling Miss Grimshaw to help as he overtakes Melody's role, bringing Arthur to his cot.

Well, that sure is goddamn-fucking-rude.

Melody watches from where Anni is hitched, without one thank-you from anyone in the gang, as they flock around Arthur in an instant. She can understand being worried for him—but she risked so much to get him back when nobody else cared, for this? She felt like a fool.

"You've got bigger balls than me, going against Dutch's words like that." Right; Micah. Melody turns to look at him, and her slight frown slowly dissolves at his next words. "Thank you for bringing the golden boy back, anyhow... Dutch.. I guess he would have went tomorrow, sent someone." He mumbles the last part, placing his hands on his hips.

Melody folds her arms over her chest with a small nod. "At least someone appreciated my efforts of going back to Colm to get him."

Micah hummed thoughtfully, nodding slowly. "I do. As much as I hate Arthur, he does a lot for the gang." Melody agrees with a small nod of her own, and they stay there together for a moment, watching half the camp boast around Arthur, before Micah speaks once more. "Come on, I know you're pissed about 'em not even mentionin' your efforts, don't look." He says quietly, carefully placing his hand on her lower back to turn her elsewhere, and walk with her. "How about we play some good ol' Five-Finger-Fillet to take yer mind off it?

Melody's mood lights up a bit, and she chuckles at Micah. "You bet your ass we'll play, Bell."

[revvethasmythh]

i feel a bit like im looking through a glass window.. (just a discussion! im so fascinated by all of the different views of bells hells!) ive never seen the hells as particularly superior or having big egos. the nein were outside of society in their own ways, so there wasnt being above or below anyone because they were nobodies, invisible (and often trying to be).

the hells are inside of society, and theyre a mixed bag of at the bottom and upwards of being noticed but seen as inconsequential to those above them. ashton and laudna can be a bit out there, both too cast aside to not feel a bit vindictive when they do have a moment of being above someone (aka being recognized as the fuckers who squashed luda and then went and smushed The god-eater in their friend).

then (and this is very funny to me, that theyre on the same level in my tier lmao) chet and dorian; mr. master toy-maker himself and the prince of everyones dreams tbh,, its less so for chet, but for dorian power is a bit of a norm. odd and unwieldy as it may seem to him, he wields it nonetheless.

fearne is in a league all her own, shes never been above or below anything, and anyone who thinks theyre above her is in for a surprise cause our witch doesnt give a shit, she was raised by The fate-stitcher. shes a bit like the nein, outside of it all.

then imogen and orym... imogen was isolated for her abilities, mother not in her life, father distanced from her, she knows power. shes resisted it all her life. id argue shes not heady with power, she exactly matches the power she holds right now. and orym? he was a whole ass guard. aside from will and derrig dying, before that he'd been a little cushy. loving mom, loving partner and the family that came with him, stable life within zephrah. he has no use for power or ego, but at this point he'll take what he can get to protect his loved ones.

very little of that seems like they think theyre above anyone, theyre just at the bottom and any amount of rising seems astronomical. also. it should be noted that i usually drink when im watching so maybe some of my chillness and blasé about the crazy shit that happens is influenced by that. i hope this didnt have many typos. if you did read thanks! i hope i worded this coherently and i hope youre having a good day man, all of us could use some good days lately

I appreciate wanting to have a conversation! I will, say i'm not entirely sure what point your getting at? Being above someone, imo, is not necessarily related to whether you are in or out of society. That is an intersectional factor to be considered, sure, but I would weigh raw power as a more applicable currency here. Fearne, for instance, as you pointed out, stands apart from society. She is unlike anything else and is therefore differentiated. But the way in which she stands out is by holding immense power via many different sources to create a single, deeply powerful amalgamated whole. And to be above someone in the context that we're discussing--or, at least, in the way I meant it--was more an effect of how you wield the power that you have. That was my ultimate gripe with the Hells' behavior was that it felt like they were wielding power in a mean-spirited way. Not at all to say the Nein have never done this--all the parties have at some time or another--but the Nein I feel are less predisposed to it, as a group that is perhaps more oriented toward figuring out how to use the power they have (scraped and clawed) their way into earning in a somewhat more thoughtful way (particularly in regard to their late-game/finale/post-canon appearances). Incidentally, this is well displayed in a conversation between Imogen and Caleb from Episode 111:

"Power is an illusion. [...] I try to earn, earn the gifts I have." The Nein worked very hard to reach a place where this could be the philosophy they embraced, with a lot of growing pains and evolution along the way. But in the beginning they were just broke ass two-bit adventurers running from or for their lives, which is an immensely different place to begin than a group of singular and unique people with a comfortable amount of money, magical items, and wealthy patrons that catapult you into the center of a cosmic conspiracy wherein you only become more powerful and more singular (and more powerful in your singularities, like ingesting titan shards and being imbued with the essence of pure possibility from a holy relic). I can see and appreciate, actually, the perspective of the Hells singularities isolating them nebulously outside of regular society and how that would not place them either above or below anyone (except, as I said, in the context of raw power) but my intent was more to point to how they used what power they had while engaging with others. And I'm not sure the Hells will ever approach it the way Caleb said he did, trying to "earn the gifts [he] has." Many of the Hells, I think, feel they have earned their gifts as a reward for their previous suffering, which is a dangerous way to engage with power. And I think that showed itself in the way they behaved at the end of the episode tonight.

[superm4ks]

im very happy max won but the more i think about his pole being taken away/vsc or safety car not being deployed immediately/the flip flopping bw dwys n yellows and green flags etc. the more cynical i feel about the sport🙁what do u think? is this weekend an outlier or is this j how things are now? common sense out of the window, decisions taking ages…

UMMM I'll hold ur hand when I say this but Qatar definitely wasn't an outlier, prolly the most egregious showing since the sprint in Brazil, but F1 always has like 4 races in every season where u kinda wonder if ur watching a sport 😐 This gonna get long but theres some important context I think ur asking for here also I kinda lose it at the end I'm sorry but yuh.

Saur after Vegas everybody was like omfg daddy Marques is here to save us, he addressed some basic track issues and nobody got fucking paralyzed by a pothole exploding thru their ass hurray, so there was hope that maybe Marques was off to a better start than his predecessors and wud maybe give the fans a better ending to the season. But putting Qatar after Vegas is like quizzing somebody on shapes and then asking them to solve a rubriks cube or whtvr.

Qatar was originally built for motogp so the whole thing is designed to be quick and relentless. That means lots of medium to high speed corners, long straights basically 2 hours of edging ur braking. Most drivers consider it a cool track, very demanding sure but fun to drive. For us fans, though, its an odd 1 because theres no reference points so it can be hard to follow. Think of it as the opposite of tracks like Miami or Monaco. RC did a particularly heinous job here because Qatar was Marques' first taste of a track where u either plug the first leak in record time or the whole thing goes to shit. Like, his job.

A lil lesser known fact is that they had Marques on double duty that weekend because the person who replaced him to direct the F2 heat got the boot before her plane even landed and they had NO one else to do it. So Marques had to direct both the f1 AND the f2 Qatar races the same weekend. And thats not all. Just before his inaugural run in Vegas he had just been at the helm of the iconic Macau GP that saw 12 red flags in 40 minutes of qualifying. I wont even tell u how many SC were deployed but only 12 out of 27 drivers finished the race. Ugo my most beloved won so this has nothing to do wid Qatar and Macau and the way its used by the FIA in terms of junior development is a can of worms I cant open rn but like just to show u thats the type of shit Marques had been dealing wid on a weekly basis once we got to Qatar. So truly bro never stood a chance.

When Alexs mirror fell on track the only possible course of action is to get it OFF. Idc if u wanna do VSC or a full SC u need to clear that track NOWWWWW. 3 cars caught strays from that mf before a SC was even deployed. To fuck up that badly that early in the race just showed exhaustion, it showed immaturity and frankly it showed incompetence. Its unacceptable. Wud a different RD have reacted earlier? who tf knows tbh, because these 'mistakes' always happen and they're always dismissed as 'one of those crazy ones' in the season and nothing ever gets done to improve the standards of the personnel ((theres no personnel left btw)).

Then u got the long awaited return of the stop and go and drive thru pens which was super forced and made no sense and immediately showed why those bitches been sat in a corner catching dust because theres literally always better alternatives and they almost never serve actual officiating purposes. 'Precedence' means fuck all if u also have the 'precedence' of not fucking doing that and being way more consistent and delivering better racing. But ohhhh he had to stop in the pits and THEN he had to go back out ohhh he had to go thru an area of the track thats not the right one and lose a bunch of time and become essentially worthless in the race we love when competitive cars do that. Sorry this isnt directed at u I just have a very particular beef wid fans who act like drive thrus and stop and go's are these celestial artifacts that are gonna restore balance in the universe like the harder u throw the book at these drivers the better the product will become. I cud live 200 lives and not have enough time to explain how thats the actual furthest thing from the truth but ur innocent and ily so lets regroup. ❤️ My actual conclusion to ur q is that this is how things have always been and no they're not likely to improve. Unfortunately I gotta borrow even more of ur time to show ur how truly bleak it cud get real soon.

FIA been circulating a bunch of changes to their rules that are prolly gonna be approved at their general assembly in about 10 days. These 'new statutes' include 1) changing the governing bodys ethics rules so that Sulayem can in fact talk to drivers however the fuck he wants and THEY will be held in contempt for criticizing him 2) the 'compliance officer' responsible for overseeing Sulayems spending cannot report to an independent committee and propose an investigation unless directly asked by the Senate President who .. and ur not gonna believe this .. is appointed directly by Sulayem. 3) yes u understood it correctly FIA will prolly become a system where the FIA president and the president of the senate that he chose decide each other's fate in any ethics inquiry.

Sulayem is up for re-election and its becoming more and more likely that hes gonna run unopposed. A sporting director, a technical director, multiple heads of mobility, communications, legal affairs, the women in motorsport commission, several race directors, stewards, a compliance officer, deputy directors. All fired under his watch. Dozens of others quit.

Stewarding has become so abysmal Max received a one place grid drop AND a penalty point as a mitigating punishment for something he literally didnt do under circumstances that didnt warrant any type of punishment let alone a mitigating one like the document literally says that 'unusually, neither car was on a push lap' because if they had been on a push lap max wud have received a 3 place grid drop but 1 and 63 were not on push laps so naturally we have to give Max a one place grid drop and a penalty point for not doing the thing that he would've been punished for had he done it. This isnt even the most controversial or confusing aspect of this years Qatar race. Im gonna kill m

So about ur cynicism and ur concern and ur general discomfort wid how the future is looking. When the GPDA posted that ig statement telling Sulayem to watch his tone and asking where the money was, these proposed changes to the ethics commission and the financial oversight were the FIA's direct answer. And if they do go into effect on December 13th bro I think Abu Dhabi gonna be the end of more than the 2024 season.

Happy Wednesday lmfao

[pinkomcranger]

Stubled upon your post about saga and it was a very interesting read. I have to say that i havent noticed mich racism, but thats mostly becuse i started avoiding gamming websites when the release date came.

I saw a few ppl on Reddit angry about the "white asshole" line. That line is weird but it makes sense in context. Shes at her absolute lowest, unable to resurface back and fight againts her self doubts. Shes spiraling! And alan did put her in there, kind of. While we can see in their interactions that she doesnt hate him or anything, her feelings of anger and sadness take over, making her lash out as someone rven though she knows its not really his fault. And as some said, it reflects racism of the real world and tells us soemthing about saga - that she experienced this kind of feeling before, implying greater history. And idk, just feels that it makes sense for a black charscter to agnowladge these issues.

i could be rambling but im typing this out on my phone, whoops!

The gaming bros were definitely the worst offenders of it, so you were smart to ignore the gaming websites. It's why I had such high hopes for tumblr and AO3 because I thought for sure Saga would be the most popular new character. Sucks that I was wrong.

The "another white asshole telling me what to do" line CAN seem out of left field, but at the same time, perfectly fits the narrative. Because up to that point, nobody was telling her what to do. The only person who could have immediately took himself out of that position.

At the point the line was uttered, she was at her lowest, like you said and it was evident she had been in that position before. It gave us another character trait in Saga and another hint at her backstory. Alan tried to play God with her life, however unintentionally and Saga had every right to be angry at him.

The fact that she DIDN'T hate him says so much about her, and it's all wonderful. She chose to forgive him. As a black woman, it made sense to reflect on that, however brief the moment was, and I appreciated it.

[ao3cassandraic]

I'm a little confused, what trouble did the Internet Archive get into exactly?

By this I mean, is it going down? Or is it just dealing with politics behind the scenes?

(I occasionally find the Internet Archive to be useful, so I hope it doesn't disappear)

Okay, so, it helps to have context here. First, IA.

IA has its fingers in several pies:

the Wayback Machine (and allied services such as Archive-It) for website preservation

software (including game) preservation

print digitization, which started (I think) as an add-on to software preservation (because manuals matter!) and expanded to pretty much whatever print IA could get its hands on

a lending system for the above digitized collection, known as the "Open Library"

lately, machine-learning tools intended to operate over its digitized-print collections (it's still building this out, I've seen some of the grant applications) -- nothing generative-AI-like yet that I know of, however

A lot of this work is only dubiously and uncertainly within the scope of US copyright. (N.b. IANAL, IANYL, I am certainly not Internet Archive's lawyer, TINLA.) IA takes refuge largely in audacity, and in the centrality of the Wayback Machine to web preservation generally. So they have been known to pull the "if we lose this legal case totally unrelated to web preservation and have to pay gonzo fines, Wayback is in peril!" ripcord.

Is this true? Hell if I know, I don't audit IA's books. I doubt it, though.

What they're in trouble for -- what an appeals court shot them all the way down for yesterday -- is what they did with their Open Library of digitized print books, many of them in-copyright, during COVID lockdown. And to understand all that, we have to untangle some things about US copyright. Ugh, somebody hand me a read-more link.

Why can libraries lend print books, vinyl, cassettes, CDs, and DVDs in the US? Because of a legal doctrine called "the first sale right," which goes like this: if you have a legally-produced physical object containing copyrighted material, you can do whatever the fuck you want with that physical object with zero copyright implications --other than reproduce/copy or perform it (which does have copyright implications, complex ones).

You can (yes) burn it. You can lend it to a friend, or an enemy, or a random stranger. You can give it away. You can throw it away. You can resell it. You can hang it on your wall or in your window. You can make an art installation with it. And the copyright owner cannot win a copyright-based lawsuit over any of this, even if they hate what you're doing! Even if it competes with them selling new copies (as the resale market absolutely does, and as some jerkfaced copyright owners -- usually corporations, not authors! -- love to complain that libraries do)!

Here's the thing, though, and it's an important thing so I'm gonna big-type it:

The right of first sale does not apply to anything digital ever.

Not ebooks (digitized or born-digital, doesn't matter). Not streaming anything. Not paywalled online news or research.

When libraries offer these to patrons, it's through contracts with publishers or aggregators. Long story short, a lot of these contracts are ridiculously restrictive (not to mention expensive) to the point of cartoonish evil, but it's what we have to work with.

The idea behind Controlled Digital Lending is "if libraries purchased a physical item legally, we should get to lend the item to one person at a time as we always have, and it shouldn't actually matter whether what we lend is the physical item or a digital version of it, as long as only one or the other is out to a patron at a given time."

Which is an untested legal theory! I can't tell you whether it's legal! Nobody can! The case law doesn't exist! Yeah yeah, there's relevant past cases in both directions having to do with accessibility or Google Books or whatever, but a specific precedential ruling on CDL is not a thing that presently exists.

No, not even now. Because what IA did with its Open Library during lockdown, and got slapped down for by the court, is not CDL as defined above. IA didn't hold to one-person-at-a-time-per-book. They tried to make a fair-use argument for what they actually did (that is, not for actual CDL), and the court was not having it.

The thing is, IA's stumblebummed legal fuckup means that actual CDL, as actual libraries (n.b. the IA is not an actual library or an actual archives, I will happily die on this hill, I loathe IA like poison and do not want to admit them to my profession, IA people have dissed me and my work TO MY ACTUAL PHYSICAL FACE and they only love libraries or librarians when trying to hide behind us) were trying to design and implement it, now faces additional legal hurdles. Any court looking at an actual CDL program has to take into account IA getting slapped down. And that's if we can even find a library or library consortium with deep enough pockets and hardcore enough legal representation to even defend such a case.

The thing also is, IA just issued Big Publishing a gilt-edged invitation to use this precedent to sue actual libraries, especially academic libraries, over other things we do. (I'm gonna pass over exactly what in silence because I do not want to give those fuckers ideas, but... there have been past lawsuits, look 'em up.) THANKS, BREWSTER. THANKS EVER SO. Asshole.

For a calmer take than mine, check out Library Futures, which to their credit has not given up all hope for CDL.

This IS the short version of all this nonsense, believe me. I used to teach a whole entire three-credit graduate-level course in the long version. (Which IA would doubtless diss to my face if they knew about it.)

[woonmyungzz]

Lethal Company

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Where Ricky is trying to do his job of scaring off the intruders and Gyuvin "accidentally" interrupts that.

Ler!Gyuvin

Lee!Ricky

1.3k words

AN: For those of you who aren't apart of the video game community and aren't aware of the game Lethal Company, for some context it's basically a fun survival horror game where you go to different moons and go into a building looking for different materials to then sell to reach a quota for your job. Each mean has it's own difficulty with different monsters. (I think it can still be enjoyable regardless if you know about the game or not!)

Each member is assigned a different creature

Jiwoong - Bracken

Hao - Ghost girl

Hanbin - Nutcracker

Matthew - Jester

Taerae - Coil Head

Ricky - Masked

Gyuvin - Hoarding bug

Gunwook - Eyeless dog

Yujin - Snare Flea

Hope you enjoy!

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Sometimes the different creatures that lived in the facility didn’t always get along. One thing they could agree on though is that they didn’t take lightly to people invading their home, their moon. Ricky especially was one of those creatures. There were others, such as Gyuvin who weren’t as protective of it so to speak. Then there were others like Hao, who were like him. The only two who could go in and out of the facility without getting caught easily. It was a risk to be out for the others unless it was night and they were alone. Or alternatively, Gunwook or Jingxiang who lived in the outside terrain of the moon.

They all worked together for the most part to scare the intruders off, at least somewhat. Those intruders had come back to their home, seeking items that belonged to them just to sell them off. The intruders were always easy to spot, if you didn’t hear their loud spacecraft land then you would easily hear how loud they were as they entered inside their home. Loud talking as they ran around, searching for their things. 

Ricky kept an eye on them, out of sight, observing their behaviors and mannerisms. What differentiated a specific person from the other. That was probably the most interesting thing about the intruders, their behaviors and how he could replicate them. All it would take is for one to be separated from the rest and he could take action. He just had to wait for one of the others to do their thing, stray an intruder from its path. 

Thanks to Jiwoong, that exactly happened. The bracken scaring one of the intruders, the poor thing stared in his eyes a little too long and was now being dragged off to his hyung’s favorite spot. His room, one which was sound proof. Nobody would hear the shrieks of laughter. This was Ricky’s chance to sneak his way in, shifting to make himself look like the intruder that was taken away, mimicking his voice perfectly.

He walked up to the group, carrying a thing of perfume in hand to seem less suspicious. “Have you seen anything strange yet?” Intruder #1 spoke, looking directly at him. Ricky shook his head “Nothing yet, I haven’t gone too far yet though. Hopefully the monsters aren’t awake yet.” Intruder #1 nodded then started heading to the left with Intruder #2 following closely behind. That left him and Intruder #3 to continue on together. “Think we’ll be fine?” he asked the other.

“As fine as we can be in this place, better than getting fired though eh?” So far he seemed to have fooled all three, the longer he stuck around the harder his job would become though. “Definitely,” he responded, “hey is that a gold bar?” Ricky pointed to a shelf. There at the top shone a gold bar, peaking out of a high up box.

“Oh yeah it is, grab it and I’ll keep going forward” Intruder #3 instructed, Ricky listened, reaching up to grab the heavy metal. He would just grab this, catch up, and start his plan of tickling the intruder to tears. To Ricky’s surprise next to the gold bar was a lovely bracelet. He slipped it on so that it would be easier to carry.

In the other room he could hear footsteps, they couldn’t belong to Intruder #3 though, he went forward, not behind him. The Mimic turned around, it must be one of the fellow residents, before he knew it there at the door was Gyuvin. “Oh hey-” He was hoisted over the boy’s shoulder as he sprinted away, screaming a loud “YIPPEEE” 

“Hey- WAiT-” Ricky tried to get out but it was hard as the other soared with quick speeds. It wasn’t until he placed down at Gyuvin’s stash of items that he realized the other thought he was an Intruder. “Wait hold on-” 

Gyuvin just grinned widely and squeezed at Ricky’s sides rapidly, giggling manically while doing so. “You have shiny things, gimme gimme gimme!”

The mimic let out a loud squeal, trying to grab at the hoarder’s hands to push them away. It was rather difficult at the fast speed he was going at. Opting to shield the spot instead, wrapping his arms around himself as he giggled loudly. “IHihiHIhiHILL LOhoHohOHOOk SUhUHuhUHuSpiCioUhuHuhUS” 

Despite the fact that would be a clear hint to anyone that Ricky was in fact not an intruder, Gyuvin continued, lifting up Ricky’s shirt slightly and raspberrying all over his lower tummy. “Cmooon just gimme the shiny things and stay here with meeee!” Instead of squeezing he moved to squeeze at Ricky’s underarms, occasionally drilling into the center while vibrating his fingers.

All the mimic could do was cackle, letting out loud snorts in between his laughter “NOHoHOHOHO BRAHAHAHAHAT- IHIHIHIHITS MEHEHEHEHEE” He tried to get out in between. Gyuvin seemed confused, easily shrugging it off and nibbling right above his tummybutton. “Who is me silly? 

“RIHIhIHIHICKY”

An expression of realization formed on the hoarder’s face, despite that he still continued. “Ok then give me my shinies already! I want them and you have them now gimme!” Ricky shook his head “IHIHIHI NEHEHEHEED THEHEHEHEM” He kicked at Gyuvin’s leg lightly, trying to escape. 

Gyuvin only grinned, giggling along with him, raspberrying all over Ricky’s tummy continuously while drilling into his lower back. Occasionally pinching along his spine for extra effect. “Kitchi kitchi koo! Who’s a ticklish little thing~ all you have to do is give me the shinies and you’re free to go!” 

Mimic held onto the gold bar tightly, trying to keep it in his grasp as he hiccuped, squirming back and forth between the two different tickles. “DOHOHOHO YOHOHOHOU WAHAHANT MEHEHE TOHOHOHO GEHEHET CAHAHAHAUGHT?” 

The taller chuckled and stuck his tongue out playfully before squeezing the sides of his back. “Hmmmmm maybe! Who knows! I just want my shinies! It’s reaaaaally simple actually! Maybe you want to get caught~” 

All Ricky could do was squirm, fighting back wasn’t an option right now, so he had to give up the gold bar. “FIHIHIHINE HEHEHEHERE-” He let go of the gold bar, letting it roll onto the ground “HAHAHAHAPPY AHAHAHASSHOHOHOLE?” 

“Nope! I want the pretty bracelet and perfume too!” If Mimic could, he would strangle this brat right now. “AHAHAHARE YOHOHOHOU KIHIHIHIDDING MEHEHE?” There was still no escape yet. He tried to hold out, really really did, but it wasn’t easy with how relentless Gyuviin was going at it. Nuzzling his face in Ricky’s neck, nibbling precisely “Om nom nom nom~” 

Ricky let out a shriek, scrunching up as his laughter began to die down until becoming silent “NOHOHOHO FAHAHAHAIR-” He hiccuped in between the silent laughter, dropping the perfume and throwing the bracelet off to the other side of the room.

With that Gyuvin let up, chasing after the bracelet then bringing it back to the pile of belongings that once were in Ricky’s arms. Now that he was free, he curled up into a ball, rubbing away the excess tingles that lingered. “YOhohohOu BIHihIhiTCh” He transformed to look like his normal self.

The hoarder looked down at the shapeshifter, grabbing him and hugging him “You know the rules, I get all shiny things or you get tickled! It’s a simple rule you should know by now!” 

“Yeheah yeheheah you hyperactive hoarder.” 

It seemed the other intruders heard him and made a run for it back to their ship because besides their talking the building was back to being silent. “At least they're gone…”

“Oh yeah look what I got from one of them” Gyuvin grinned as he grabbed a flashlight from his pocket, flicking it on and off “Gave it to me for free! Didn’t even have to attack them. What silly little creatures.”