#but that's gone now

[lostlegendaerie]

Sunday blues under the cut

I'm going through my Google docs and my favorite (recs) AO3 bookmarks and like. there's something about the nostalgia here that's making me really sad for some reason and maybe it's because I've been so much less engaged with fandom stuff since I left Twitter.

Like I still read constantly and comment when I can, but maybe it's because of the culture that tends to softly discourage reblogs with comments (as opposed to Twitters endless streams of little public discussions, at least back in like 2019-2021) that I feel extremely disconnected.

I've got my little pockets of two or three friends here and there but a group? A fandom? A place where I felt like part of a community of likeminded people?

I don't know. I think I'm just back on that same old "I want to write something that matters to to someone" train and the only thing I've written with that level of plot and teeth is the fucking Genshin fic and I'm just. I wish I didn't care so much about making friends! I wish I didn't have to fight so hard to feel like I belonged! But Katsucon put into sharp relief that I don't have nearly the amount of IRL support that I need to be okay. I'm the mom friend to 80% of the people I know, and the other 3 individuals cannot be expected to keep helping me out of every crisis I have.

I don't know what happened to me in the past few years. I know some things have gotten better. But I miss so, so much just having a group of people to get EXCITED about creative projects with - or even just being able to hang out in person and not worry about how many annoying stupid things I've done in the past hour. God. GOD.

I know that I'm still talented. There's still something worth keeping in this body. But I feel like I've lost my ability to showcase it or share it in a way that isn't just Laurel (whom I love) doggedly trying to keep my sense of worth above water.

The only thing I feel like people like me for is my credit card. And it's something. It helps the people I love. But. God, I wish I could be something else.

[kyuusei-shadowleaf]

A Time Capsule

A stroll down memory lane took me back to @enigmatic-elegance's Mas’ Must Follow MASterpost, a list of what that player (the very active at the time GM of Coldwall Collective) considered must-follow accounts in Oct. 2019. Back in those heady days before COVID and at least a year before the wholesale migration of Alliance RP from Wyrmrest Accord to Moonguard (though some cracks were starting to appear, even then). Back then, WoW tumblr was still in full swing - if a bit diminished after the porn ban of late 2018 - and Mas' list caused a small flurry of drama from people who weren't listed, or who thought that any such list by a well-followed account was inherently elitist. I didn't agree with everything on the list, but it was Mas' list and anyone could make their own list (with blackjack and hookers if they wanted!)

But it's fun to look back at that post as a snapshot of the community at the time - and bittersweet to see how many of those accounts have been fallow for years, or much less active, and those that are active are either on Epsilon or MG-A (and more than a handful have transitioned to FFXIV).

Take a look and see who - if anyone - you still know today.

[freepassbound]

11. what’s your ideal date?

17. fairy lights or LED lights?

29. morning, afternoon or night?

30. what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

(#11 and #29 answered previously)

17. fairy lights or LED lights?

...are fairy lights not LED lights? Aren't fairy lights like... a fancy string of lights? Whereas LED lights are just... a lighting technology?

Regardless, I guess the answer is neither? I actually have no extraneous lighting in my home, just fixtures and table lamps.

30. what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

That's a really good question. I don't know that I know the answer - I don't know that it's anything quantifiable.

I feel a frisson every time I've been away and I see the sign welcoming me back to the Mitten, and then the sign entering the county (and usually I do, because I'm generally coming home the fast way, which means interstates or state highways).

I feel something every time I see a Great Lake (even the one that isn't ours).

There is something about walking in the front door.

I love that first night sleeping in my bed again.

I suspect this is all rather banal and near-universal, though.

Home... I don't know. It's where I can be myself, I guess? I don't have to worry (or at least get to worry less). ...I hope I get to experience that feeling with someone someday.

[azure-steel]

I am here for a lil bit. I am way too sporadic I know!! But if I found a meme to reblog would people send fings in for Khum'a maybe?

[r0semultiverse]

Like music to my ears

[hinamie]

to moving forward

[symphonyofsilence]

Let the poor man rest.

[qiinamii]

we'll do fine.

[junewild]

what do you say to a trans person who’s sharing after-surgery pics?

[blueskittlesart]

Dear Big Brother

kind of a sequel to this comic

[qualityrain]

[bastardiando]

posting across the targetverse here bc it did numbers on twitter

[z13lovebot]

🪲🐟

[rlyehtaxidermist]

archangel michael, brandishing his trumpet, ready to play the song that signals the end of the world: who are you and what are you doing here

weird al yankovic, accordion in hand, ready to play the polka that signals the end of the end of the world:

[pangur-and-grim]

something bad might have happened and I’m really freaked out right now.

[aashiqeddiediaz]

you know what boils my blood.

over the last 2 weeks, i've seen countless patients walk into my urgent care center, symptomatic for so many things, refusing to get tested for covid and flu, citing that they don't want to knowingly bring it to their holiday tables. i had a patient tell me, verbatim, "i don't want to test for covid, because i don't want to be the asshole who brings it on a plane."

i understand that - i understand that holidays are times where people look forward to meeting loved ones that they might only see once a year, or where they get a break from the hectic back and forth of their lives.

but here's the thing - whether they get tested or not, they will bring whatever they have to their holiday tables. it's pure recklessness to know that you're sick, and walk into someone else's house spreading the disease.

today, january 2, i saw 91 patients, many of them who have tested positive for covid and flu. many of these patients are the same ones who didn't want testing 3 days ago, until their events were over, and now, they will have to reach out to everyone they know to let them know that they were positive because they were showing symptoms well before their event.

the next week or two? we're going to see many, many more, all people with symptoms that started around christmas. these are the only two viruses we test for rapidly in our office, but they are potent and can be fatal in many people.

so here's why i wrote this post, and maybe it's a little late, but - if you care about your loved ones, please get tested if you know you're sick. it doesn't have to be at a clinic if you don't want it to, because the over-the-counter tests work just fine too (if you test within 5-7 days of symptom onset). just...please don't try to run from the knowledge that you might have covid, because immunocompromised people, elderly people, people with co-morbidities like asthma, pregnancy, diabetes, etc...many of them may not recover. and they may not be sitting at your holiday table in the future because of it.