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lostlegendaerie · 10 months ago

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Sunday blues under the cut

I'm going through my Google docs and my favorite (recs) AO3 bookmarks and like. there's something about the nostalgia here that's making me really sad for some reason and maybe it's because I've been so much less engaged with fandom stuff since I left Twitter.

Like I still read constantly and comment when I can, but maybe it's because of the culture that tends to softly discourage reblogs with comments (as opposed to Twitters endless streams of little public discussions, at least back in like 2019-2021) that I feel extremely disconnected.

I've got my little pockets of two or three friends here and there but a group? A fandom? A place where I felt like part of a community of likeminded people?

I don't know. I think I'm just back on that same old "I want to write something that matters to to someone" train and the only thing I've written with that level of plot and teeth is the fucking Genshin fic and I'm just. I wish I didn't care so much about making friends! I wish I didn't have to fight so hard to feel like I belonged! But Katsucon put into sharp relief that I don't have nearly the amount of IRL support that I need to be okay. I'm the mom friend to 80% of the people I know, and the other 3 individuals cannot be expected to keep helping me out of every crisis I have.

I don't know what happened to me in the past few years. I know some things have gotten better. But I miss so, so much just having a group of people to get EXCITED about creative projects with - or even just being able to hang out in person and not worry about how many annoying stupid things I've done in the past hour. God. GOD.

I know that I'm still talented. There's still something worth keeping in this body. But I feel like I've lost my ability to showcase it or share it in a way that isn't just Laurel (whom I love) doggedly trying to keep my sense of worth above water.

The only thing I feel like people like me for is my credit card. And it's something. It helps the people I love. But. God, I wish I could be something else.

#I feel like whether K*OSA passes or not. fandom is dying #and I'm dying with it #all I ever wanted to do was make things that got people excited. Make them think. made them feel #and I know I used to!!!#but that's gone now #or at least the audience is #and I wish that just the act of creating could be enough #but what is the joy in bread when no one eats it?#(yes a BIG part of this is that I have torn myself into pieces for a fic I cannot BEG my friends to read and comment on)

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freepassbound · 7 months ago

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11. what’s your ideal date?

17. fairy lights or LED lights?

29. morning, afternoon or night?

30. what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

(#11 and #29 answered previously)

17. fairy lights or LED lights?

...are fairy lights not LED lights? Aren't fairy lights like... a fancy string of lights? Whereas LED lights are just... a lighting technology?

Regardless, I guess the answer is neither? I actually have no extraneous lighting in my home, just fixtures and table lamps.

30. what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

That's a really good question. I don't know that I know the answer - I don't know that it's anything quantifiable.

I feel a frisson every time I've been away and I see the sign welcoming me back to the Mitten, and then the sign entering the county (and usually I do, because I'm generally coming home the fast way, which means interstates or state highways).

I feel something every time I see a Great Lake (even the one that isn't ours).

There is something about walking in the front door.

I love that first night sleeping in my bed again.

I suspect this is all rather banal and near-universal, though.

Home... I don't know. It's where I can be myself, I guess? I don't have to worry (or at least get to worry less). ...I hope I get to experience that feeling with someone someday.

#not sure that's a great answer #or any kind of answer at all #but... 🤷‍♂️#I had a whole other home #but that's gone now #I'm not sure I understand the first question 😅#I mean‚ I probably have a lot of LED lights #I keep my bulbs as energy-efficient as possible #but I suspect that's not what the phrase means in this context #thank you for the questions!#...however long ago it was 😬#asks

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azure-steel · 1 year ago

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I am here for a lil bit. I am way too sporadic I know!! But if I found a meme to reblog would people send fings in for Khum'a maybe?

#{mako stripped - ooc}#I want to write #but it's been a while #and some shit went down which kind of drove me away?#but that's gone now #so I need to try and step it up and be here more often.#But I wanna play with my cat boi

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r0semultiverse · 1 year ago

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Like music to my ears

#shoutout to everyone leaving toxic relationships in light of a movie #about Barbie of all things!#no movie spoilers in the notes please; I haven’t gone to see it yet with my partner #this post is mine now! OP sucked!#mine #OP #barbie movie #barbie #barbie 2023

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symphonyofsilence · 3 months ago

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Let the poor man rest.

#also no he doesn't want to experience life as a normal person. no he wouldn't sacrifice his powers to live again.#he LOVED being powerful. he was very proud of his powers. he was at the top of the world. what he disliked was being so lonely at the top.#which having reunited with Geto now he is not.#and he wanted to keep the next generation safe due to his past regrets and teach a generation of kids to be at the top together.#and he wanted to get rid of the corrupt higher-ups and reform the Jujutsu society.#and he did all of that. Yuta and Yuuji are both alive and safe and the kids are all reunited with each other stronger than ever #and the higher-ups are d**d.#Gojo obviously wouldn't hate to keep living. he clearly didn't expect to lose and die. but as he himself confirmed #he died doing what he loved. he went out the way he wanted. he went out with a bang. he had the best fight of his life and gave it his all.#as he said 'he had fun'. he said it would have been embarrassing if he died of old age or sickness.#and now that he's gone he's happy with his friends and especially Geto. he found peace.#He said it himself 'Now i'm wishing that it's not just a dream'.#also for those of you who say that Geto & Gojo wouldn't be together because one would go to hell and one to heaven... no. just no.#first of all. Gojo did a mass m*r*** before his death #second of all. they're Buddhists. they don't have heaven and hell. don't bring Abrahamic religions into everything.#and you'd be surprised by the excuses the Abrahamic religions find to not let people in heaven.#probably Gojo wouldn't go to heaven even if he didn't kill the higher-ups due to...idk... occasionaly doing pranks or sth.#but Gege apparently created a whole other afterlife of his own. and Toji Geto Gojo Nanami and everyone were all gathered there together.#you SAW that. so stop.#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #jjk gojo #gege akutami #my two cents #satosugu

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hinamie · 4 months ago

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to moving forward

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk fanart #jujutsu kaisen fanart #jjk art #yuji itadori #gojo satoru #fushiguro megumi #nobara kugisaki #itadori yuuji #megumi fushiguro #jjk spoilers #satoru gojo #jjk manga spoilers #hina.comic #before any1 says anything i KNOw his birthday is in december ik ik ik this is just 2 show some post-battle bonding after the trauma #its winter in canon n megumi's birthday has passed and he spent it being piloted like a mech so they need to celebrate Now!!#also this was technically a request lmao anon wanted megumi birthday angst hehehehhe i hope u like it <3 bc it KILLED ME DEAD #im going to collapse remember when i said this wasnt harder than the hydrangeas im having second thoughts #page 8 made me want to bash my head in #could have stuck with one flashback image could have left them monochrome could have done literally anything 2 ease the workload #but noooo the chronic overachiever in me would not allow it #rule of threes i had to include all of them and they Had to be in colour it wouldn't have hit the same if i had kept it monochrome #i needed it to look how childhood memories look i needed it to look oversaturated and hazy and fond but unmistakably Gone #it may have killed me but im so proud of this rn like from an art style perspective these megumis and yuujis r top tier by my standards #personal favourites r the first and last panel of crying megumi like not 2 pat myself on th back but expression?????? hello??????#enjoy your cake megumi you've earned it <333 sorry fr hurting ur feelings it will happen again #oh my god i can sleep tonight bless <333 and i met my 3 day deadline NICE im so good at what i do

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junewild · 1 year ago

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what do you say to a trans person who’s sharing after-surgery pics?

#oh hey i can edit this now that the blaze is gone #if you can see this & haven’t seen the second half of this post: go find it #lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbt #transgender #trans pride #queer #queer humor #queer community #trans joy #lgbt humor

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blueskittlesart · 2 months ago

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Dear Big Brother

kind of a sequel to this comic

#FINALLY FINISHED IT. THIS HAS BEEN SITTING UNFINISHED FOR ALMOST A FUCKING YEAR #and of course i get around to it right after making that stupid masterpost. well there's another one to add i guess #anyway. this was originally now that you're gone part 2. basically aryll's counterpart to their dad's perspective #botw #loz #skribbles #i will say ignoring this for so long was good actually because it confirmed my suspicions that my pen pressure no longer works #the way it used to. so if you see any weird inconsistencies between panels or pages it's not me it's my fucking tech #for some reason i need WAY more pressure than i used to to get the same level of opacity in sai which is. not great for my hands #but whatever ive gotten used to it by now. ignore the inconsistencies in this comic its fine

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hussyknee · 1 month ago

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Trying to explain what the fuck just happened in Lankan politics today.

The leftist party has won 159 seats out of 218 in the Parliamentary elections. The single biggest landslide win since we broke from the British and achieved universal franchise in 1948.

Any party achieving a super majority in the executive and legislative is, objectively speaking, bad. It disables checks and balances, which is a catastrophic thing for any democracy, and the only two other times it's happened for us has irrevocably eroded the fabric of civic rights and democratic freedom. Also, the reason the NPP won the North and East is that the colonized, genocided and subjugated people there have no faith in electoralism anymore. The way this government has engaged minority issues has been utterly abysmal and now they've been rewarded for it.

On the other hand:

The winners. Are all. Grassroots. Candidates.¹

We have voted out every single career criminal that's been barnacled into the Lankan political arena since before I've been alive. The fascist party has only three seats.² The other fascists didn't win a single seat. The neoliberal legacy party won none. There are only forty people in Parliament that represent any sort of dynastic political legacy. After 76 solid years of nothing but political dynasties.

This is barely five years after the Rajapaksas swept in and absolutely glutted the Parliament with their family members and cronies end to end.

This is the illegitimate interim government we had for most of the last 18 months. We literally, physically, chased the Rajapaksas out of the country and this fucking demon set up a puppet government just so he could finally sit in that goddamn chair and be the despot he'd always dreamed of in exchange for letting them all come back. He's now gone. His entire circle is gone.

THEY ARE ALL FUCKING GONE.

In US terms, just imagine that, five years from now, when Trump's GOP has control of everything, the entire GOP and the worst of the Dems are all purged from Congress and Senate, the Green Party in control of all three branches of government under a pro-union left-wing President and an unmarried female LGBT rights activist Vice President, and the Dems reduced to barely 20% of the House.

This is my anthropology professor. She joined politics from the small nascent leftist coalition to help keep the government accountable. She's now the Prime Minister and the most popular Parliamentary candidate in the nation's history. (Edit: She was knocked off first place by a dude in the final result. Boo.)

(On the other hand— the woman who helped make me a radical anarchist and literally helped write a book on political dissent and resistance...now is the state. Uh.)

But there are so many women in Parliament! We had the lowest female representation in a South Asian Parliament and some of them were from the list of seats reserved for parties rather than elected ones. Most were either anti-feminist conservative embarrassments, widows and daughters of elite politicians and neoliberal shills. It's still only an increase of a few percentage points (Edit: from the previous 5% to 10% in the final result!) but now we have elected academics, feminist advocates, activists! There Is a representative for Malaiyaha Tamils in the Central Province for the first time in history and it's a young woman! (Edit: now it's two female Malaiyaha MPS!!) This is the plantation community that still live in conditions closest to the slavery the British forced upon them two hundred years ago!

I'm like. Completely mindfucked. To be very very clear, the NPP coalition formed around the nucleus of the JVP that used to be communist but haven't been in 30 years, they're now just social democrats who are left of places like the US and UK, whose "left" is now center-right. They're only threatening to the Western mainstream media for some reason who can't stop bleating about how we have a "Marxist" government now. In reality, the actual chances for radical reform are still quite low, and the opportunity for further erosion is quite high with a super majority government regardless of affiliation.

On the other hand:

What the fuck.

Sometimes living through historical events is really damn amazing.

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¹ Well, nearly. There are a few career politicians and a nepo baby but they aren't so bad either.

² Goddamn it, Baby Rajapaksa and Sri Lanka's answer to JD Vance have wormed their way in using the list of Constitutionally reserved party seats for non-elected members. FUCK the National List.