#but that's girlfriend

[sixteenthtry]

I WANT A TIME MACHINE AND I WANT IT NOW.

[midnightcrisisstuff]

actually no, we're not "dating". we're bound together for infinity. like the stars. so, fuck you, actually.

[inbetweenis]

[pocket-size-cthulhu]

I'm a cryptid in Stardew valley. I live on the outskirts of town. I disappear for days on end, purchasing daily one-way tickets to the calico desert. Nobody knows where I go while I'm there. Can occasionally be found fishing at random spots throughout town. I am never not running on at least one triple shot espresso. I take the abandoned minecarts to get around and am frequently seen disappearing into the sewers. I carry a sword for some reason. Once every week or two I will stride into your bedroom to deliver you your favorite meal. I'm a self-made millionaire. I attend all the town events and will go to your concert in the next town over. I have donated approximately 2583 items to the local museum and singlehandedly revitalized the town community center. There are rumors I can talk to junimos. I'm friends with the local wizard

[canisalbus]

Trying to figure out modern Ludovica.

[maddzroks]

dykes having a hat kiss:)

[richarlotte]

Tuesday’s Wisdom.

[rebelsafoot]

mabel pines and pacifica northwest i know what you are

[tsuutarr]

[raiasintended]

hey, can we talk for a second? it’s about your girlfriend. yeah, she’s great. no, yeah, I agree. It’s just that… she seems really devoted to you? Like really devoted. Almost as if you were the sole, fragile line mooring her to the shores of humanity. No, that’s not romant—ugh. Listen. Me and the girls, we’re worried you might be the last good thing to happen to her and that were some tragedy to inevitably befall you, she would tear the gods from their thrones and dye the infinite western seas wine-dark with their ichor. Do you think you could introduce her to a new hobby or something? we don’t want to have to argue over what color “wine-dark” is supposed to be

[acatnamedafteradog]

Source on Twitter

[pandoras-prison]

[ebonybow]

[midnightmaelstrom]

I asked my girlfriend what she considers a Round pokemon to be and she sent me this.

[punkitt-is-here]

the gang gets snacks