#but that’s what everyone does to barbara that would be so silly of me

[bamboozled-distress]

every time I see people hate on Barbara because apparently her whole character has been simplified to just be a love interest for dick because they like him and kori more, all I think is that audio thing where it’s like “you are a GIRL why are you hating like a MAN”

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Josephine Baker (The Siren of the Tropics, ZouZou)— Josephine Baker was an American born actress, singer, and utter icon of the period, creating the 1920s banana skirt look. She was the first black woman to star in a major motion film. She fought in the French resistance in WWII, given a Legion of Honour, as well as refusing to perform in segregated theatres in the US. She was bisexual, a fighter, and overall an absolutely incredible woman as well as being extremely attractive.

Joan Crawford (Dancing Lady, Mildred Pierce, The Women)— God, where do I start!!! Her face is so UNIQUE and compelling and stands out so much. I love her thick brows and high cheekbones. She has a school-marmy hardness too her that makes her a little scary and therefore sexy. Her low thick voice also does it for me. Despite being an unusual looking woman with an unusual face, she never loses her glamour. Just a gorgeous talented actress, AND she was some sort of gay!!!

This is round 5 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut. the famous banana skirt is mildly NSFW.]

Josephine Baker:

Black, American-born, French dancer and singer. Phenomenal sensation, took music-halls by storm. Famous in the silent film era.

Let's talk La Revue Negre, Shuffle Along. The iconique banana outfit? But also getting a Croix de Guerre and full military honors at burial in Paris due to working with the Resistance.

She exuded sex, was a beautiful dancer, vivacious, and her silliness and humor added to her attractiveness. She looked just as good in drag too.

So I know she was more famous for other stuff than movies and her movies weren’t Hollywood but my first exposure to her was in her films so I’ve always thought of her as a film actress first and foremost. Also she was the first black woman to star in a major motion picture so I think that warrants an entry

Iconic! Just look up anything about her life. She was a fascinating woman.

Joan Crawford:

I just love women that are very mean.

she was a smoke show in every decade, from the 20s to the 60s.

The classic matronly beauty with amazing eyebrows

of course there's a space for MILF joan but i want to just take a second and say she was so cute in her early movies (like grand hotel and the women)! those parts often get forgotten but her stardom shines in them just as much as in her older #queen #icon roles

Misremembered for wire hanger hatred, this original screen queen mastered the art of the comeback and refused to let Hollywood toss her aside as she aged. The term “auteur” is usually revered for directors or writer-directors, but most critics have one actor they’ll give that title to as well: Crawford—anyone who knows classic movies already has a “Crawford picture” in their head. She knew how to style herself and promote herself. She made herself a star and kept herself fixated in the Hollywood firmament. What’s hotter than knowing just how hot you are?

(don’t think about Mommie Dearest right now) Joan was known for being super nice to all the like crew of the movies she worked on and she’d get everyone gifts. Joan would hold movie nights at her house and knit at the back of her home theater. Joan was sooo obsessed with other women including Greta Garbo, whos dressing room she would obsessively and purposefully walk by. She said that while working on Grand Hotel, Garbo grabbed her face and “if there ever was a time in my life where I would’ve been a lesbian, that was it.” But like Joan also probably did sleep with women including Barbara Stanwyck. Joan was so obsessed with Bette Davis, screening multiple movies of hers in a day at her watch party, constantly trying to spend time with her or do a movie together, insisting on the dressing room next to hers at Warners and sending her daily gifts… etc. Once Bette said that sex was gods joke to humanity and Joan said “I think the joke is on her.” Joan fucked a lot. Joan got caught publicly fucking a man and sent a letter to the woman who saw them basically saying “I bet it excited you” and the woman was like you know what. It did. Joan was best friends with a gay man. Joan was an actually genuinely good actress even though people mocked her a lot for being like cheap and stupid (partially because she never finished school because her family was broke). Joan was so insane and so cool that’s all.

[slickfordain]

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐭, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐬.

Warning: Yandere behavior, but we all know I always write Yandere on Tumblr. No specified gender for you. Also, reader with my personality again— since some people liked it very much.

Edit: I forgot to say the kids in Genshin are all platonic 💀

Teyvat is aware of their divine using them as a vessel. Teyvat is aware Celestia cannot defeat you either… As Celestia was obviously made by you. However, you have some concerning habits… Some are very very cute in your harem’s eyes ~ While some makes them worry for your health.

You have a problem with making your Genshin self-insert insert having such a gruesome backstory, it makes them wanna cry and hug your self-insert in their world. Apparently, your insert is indeed inserted in the game— ahah, when you shut off the screen and log off of course ♡

Perhaps, let’s say Zhongli would pick up on how you eat a lot of food… It amazes him. You even have a lot of mora, that you only spend it on food and nothing else. It… Does make him worry— But Yanfei would definitely sign the chefs to make your favorite dishes, just in case ~

Xingqiu would pick up on how you write an unfamiliar word called “Fan-fictions”. It has some Japanese words such as “Yandere” and “Tsundere”. He listened further into your works, and goodness, he has never felt so called out in his entire life when you specifically explained what Yanderes are. If you liked writing about Yanderes… You wouldn’t mind him being one for you, would you?

Childe would laugh his ass off whenever he hears you talking constantly to yourself, pretending as if you’re responding to them. But this makes him think you’re trying to communicate with him and Teyvat, makes his heart sore so much. You’re so sweet and acknowledging everyone, specifically him. ♡

Characters such as Pantalone and Baizhu have a realization you love spending Primogems on wishes, and always wasting them. So what do they do? Mischievously somehow gain Primogems for you, which you didn’t complain about at all.

People also have heard about your hatred towards Albert for being a creepy stalker. Now, this made Mondstadt furious at Albert. Not only does he stalk poor Barbara, he even dared to boldly disappoint you. (Barbatos killed him ehe)

Barbara has never felt so loved this much, she wants to bawl her eyes out — to show how much she loves and adores you.

Characters like Razor and Raiden Ei have come to realization you love sleeping around so much, they’ve gotten to know you sleep in work from time to time whenever it’s break. They take this advantage to make a setup room for you, where either of them can hold you in their arms and cuddle as they sleep against you.

Beidou, Lisa and Yae Miko would often see that you especially get easily injured. I’m not saying they’re the only ones terrified— trust me, many people in Teyvat are going to kill whoever hurt you,,, but they are the ones who ends up hearing about your condition. They’re so worried when they find out you don’t scream in pain, nor do you care about it because you’ve always been clumsy since childhood. They’re so worried, they might have a heart attack someday.

The Adeptus’ pick on the fact you like listening to “8-bit” version of music… It sounds hard to play, but they can’t deny you did have taste in music. Makes the guy from Lantern lite quest more inretested with you, and wishes to know you more! Or more so… Perhaps Enjou would take interest in this.~ He’s just as silly as you, why not?

Dainsleif notices how you stare at his character with adoration and love his design oh so much, that he also knows you love drawing, just like Albedo. Hearing this, Albedo loves you to death, like… Literally.

Aether hearing you’re also unstoppable that even Unknown God can’t stop you? Goodness this boy is falling in a deep rabbit hole for falling for you~!

Paimon sees you as a mother/father figure too honestly… Paimon relates to you so much about food, and always gets so happy when you agreed by getting food. Despite your tired expression, she just wants to cry because you did not once call her an “Emergency food”.

How about your complex theories? Tighnari and Al-haitham will have a whole set of a store with written details about your theories. You did die when Teyvat was made, so makes sense why you didn’t know everything. (…. You ate popcorn and watched your show as Archon war was a thing.) Every theories, is about very interesting things.

Snezhnaya and Tsaritsa would be so happy when they find out your world was filled with snow (to those who live in a snowy weather like me), and would flex it off to other nations like cocky little bastards. They see this as a blessing, and would try getting to know your culture by just the fact you and them have snow. That would mean you wouldn’t be cold in their place, right?

How about Fontaine being in horror when they find about your Creepypasta and FnaF books? They’ll keep themselves aware of the woods and will isolate any innocent beings from anywhere that involves woods and trees. Jeff the killer and Jeffrey C. Hodek (canon Jeff) definitely traumatized numerous of the people in Fontaine, considering their skins got burned a lot.

Yelan being also surprised she and other rich people in Teyvat, are in fact not the richest people in their own world after learning that… Moras aren’t actually real money? I can see Mona laughing at their misery, even though she’s sad she doesn’t exist literally in your world. How the fuck is she supposed to kiss hug you huh?

Venti and Nahida being so drawn to your morning voice, hearing you cursing as they didn’t know what the meanings behind those languages meant. Nahida would stare at your face in awe, listening to your stories as Venti would too, making a song about it probably— only for it to go downfall when they realize you occasionally hurt yourself in work. They’re horrified. YOU FELL OFF THE STAIRS??! They’re gonna faint.

Cyno who is in love with a heated face when he learns you love jokes, hearing you making a dark humor that just has him down bad for you— and ends up laughing. Your dark humor never goes too far, and he just loves it that you can accept his jokes. He is definitely going to be very loyal towards you…

Imagine Scaramouche/Wanderer lovingly gazing at your side view as you try to do makeup real quickly before playing your game. It didn’t matter. He loved your little habit of always doing your makeup first— and then play. He’s patient, and will always try his best… Ends up killing Hilichurls under one second, oops~

With everyone in Teyvat learning about your habits, learning about your talents…

They officially are definitely in love with you. They will always love you. They know when it’s you, even if someone tries to look like you and act like you to get attention. It will never work. They don’t care what form you take, because they’re obsessed and in love with the idea of you. They will only love you, you you you. You’re genderless? They’ll love you, you’re a bully? They’ll love you. It doesn’t matter what form you take.

They will always love you, [Name].

I wanna do a small love hc with Dainsleif and Pantalone x reader because I’m in love with them ♡ but I also wanna do persona insert x canon… Man.

[wizardprime]

the batfamily play minecraft

alfred: i don’t believe he can physically interact with computers

barbara: there’s always one person in the group who can do redstone and here it’s her. builds all the farms everyone loves having at the beginning of the game like the ender ender and a villager trading hall. as usual everyone would fucking die without her. servers she doesn’t join never really get off the ground for the most part because everyone is so used to having her farms on hand and gets lazy to play without them. would probably really enjoy elaborate progression mods like feed the beast

bruce: doesn’t get it. “what are you supposed to do?” “just whatever i want? that sounds silly.” if he gave it a chance i think it could be great for his mental health. i mean mining is basically meditation let’s be real. but let’s also be real he would try it for 5 minutes 30 if his kids really did the puppy eyes and then he would wander away and get killed by a zombie

cass: hard to say, honestly. depends on from what angle the game would be presented to her. she would probably enjoy the hanging out and the cozy atmosphere but she doesn’t strike me as the type to enjoy very grindy games beyond mindless resource gathering. she’d like hopping on the batfam server while everyone else is online and dicking around but alone i think she would just wander the landscapes aimlessly without progressing the game much.

damian: he’s collecting all the animals. 2.000 dogs and no sign of stopping. at least just as many cats. has wrangled half the passive mobs into his house, which is a wooden cube with a roof. it should be ugly but mostly it’s just really charming. i think he would enjoy the foxes

dick: also doesn’t get it. i think he’d prefer story based games or just straight up board games. he would enjoy the communal aspect and if someone introduced him to hypixel or something he would like that but i can’t see him enjoying casual minecraft unless it was a story based adventure map of some kind. he might like blightfall

duke: stacked. plays the game and plays it well. he has netherite armour while everyone else is just getting iron. he just strikes me as a minecraft kid. only other person who’s halfway decent at redstone, but only uses it to make cursed contraptions that give everyone else a headache.

jason: not the most impressive builds or the best with pvp but he likes to explore and creates really elaborate beautiful storylines into all his builds and the environments he cultivates that end up dragging half of the others into the plot. the kid who built fences around villages to protect the citizens from monsters. would enjoy mods that expand the minecraft world like better end.

stephanie: would play with incredibly silly mods that are all only working together with glue and hope. finding incredibly niche categories of speedrunning to complete just for fun; she actually gets briefly famous for setting a decent world record in something and would probably have many twitch followers if she didn’t already have med school and vigilante work to manage. maybe in another life

tim: doesn’t understand the term sandbox game and refuses to learn. he logs on and starts playing achievement hunter. not necessarily in a speedrunning way, but he does play the game like it has a tasklist. perpetual dirt hut tenant. either that or his unsupervised internet access as a child has lead to minecraft youtuber trauma

[fromwhenceucame]

Today was Not Great so it’s time to make my first ever real post on here I guess !!

Shoutout to @thehardestwater for giving me that one post about turning your favorite characters into warriors, I did that and thought about them way too much

First we have Chaeya, let’s go !!

I very, very loosely used real warrior cat design concepts in the fact Kaeya doesn’t have an eyepatch but instead a big ol’ scar (in star-shaped format). A lot of their designs are inspired by aspects of their outfits, like how Childe has the darker ginger around his chest/neck like his scarf, and Kaeya’s white fluff is his actual fluffy thing (but this time on his body, wow). I had to make Childe’s stripes swirly like water and Kaeya’s spots like stars (also the moon-shaped ear fluff, that idea came to me from a warriors MAP (edit: I found it!!! It’s Crookedgoose and the design for Moonflower (of course it was a Crookedstar map (my favorite little freak who I associate with Childe for no reason)) and also the fur on Kaeya’s back was inspired by another cat design of him I saw and I really wanted to include it)

In their warrior cats land, there’s 7 clans for each nation — so Childe’s in Snezhnaya clan (Snowclan) and Kaeya’s in Mondstadt clan (Windclan (very original)).

Childe is a highly respected cat in his clan, and they do things a little differently out there! There is no leader/deputy structure; instead, there’s the 11 Harbingers (“omens” instead, since “harbinger” isn’t a word I’ve seen in warriors as far as I know) who support their leader, the Tsaritsa… I don’t know off the top of my head if we know how many cryo archons there were before the Tsaritsa, but the original was definitely “Snowstar” and currently her name is “Icestar.” Childe is basically number 11 of Snowclan’s deputies…

As for Kaeya, he’s essentially Windclan’s acting deputy while the actual deputy (Jean) is the acting leader while the REAL leader (Varka) is away doing whatever he does. There’s a horseplace very close to Windclan (ironically similar to the real Windclan) that Kaeya knows everything about, the horseleader if you will, and he strongly enjoys watching them graze and gallop around when he’s not busy with clanlife. Pretty much everyone in the close-knit Windclan respects Kaeya because he is very cool (Kaeya does not agree with this, but okay). Also! The original “Windstar” (Venti) basically stepped down the moment Windclan was made, he’s not interested in that life.

And as for names !! They make me scream :]

Snowclan’s 11 Omens all have a new name based on what omen brought them to that position, that are formatted like the older clan names/tribe names, too. Originally, Childe was “Floodpaw” before he disappeared for a few days and came back a lil silly. After that, he was re-apprenticed to an Omen and given the full name “Floodripple” with his Omen name “Dark Waters of the Abyss” … sometimes I break my own rules (I don’t think “abyss” is a word warrior cats know) and that’s okay. Floodpaw probably still found a whale out there wherever he went to get trained by Skirk.

Kaeya would be “Frostwind” — the leader having honored him for his loyalty to the clan despite his loner roots (having been abandoned as a kit and taken in as usual, maybe Diluc is “Flametalon” for his fierceness because they definitely become warriors before The Incident) (Frostwind definitely doesn’t think he deserves that name, but okay).

Additional thoughts, Jean is “Dandelionroar” and has been acting leader for too many dang moons now. Barbara is most likely a medicine cat, but Albedo and Sucrose are also in that vein so maybe this Windclan does things a bit differently in regard to medicine cats. Dottore may be the medicine cat in Snowclan but he’s not. A very good medicine cat. Arlecchino’s Omen name could be “Flames of the Crimson Moon”

And yeah that’s all I got \o/ stay tuned for parts 2 and 3 when I post my other favorites from fe3h (Dimtiri + Sylvain + Claude) and hsr (Dr Ratio + Aventurine) my goal is to have a whole lot of them done before artfight next year — I hope they were neat, thanks for reading !!

[dopenightmaretyphoon]

Why didn’t you say?

Authors note: this is a part 2 to “Happy birthday Hon”

This isn’t great by any means

Trigger warnings: comments towards sex, I think that’s all

Dating Melissa is pure bliss, great food, great conversation, great sex, the only down side? Barbara seemed to have pulled away from both of you, the older teacher was a dear friend to both you and Melissa yet now she seems to not want to even look at you.

Barbara is happy for her friends but also heartbroken, of course you would never chose her, it was silly of her to even think you would but seeing you have a relationship with Melissa hurt. She hid her feelings the only way she knew how, putting distance between you and her.

The lunch table that was once for the three of you now only held you and Melissa. Barbara chair was always free if she wanted it but instead she stuck to the couch. Melissa had tried to talk to Barbara, to find out the problem but she was always shut down.

Currently you say in the teachers lounge reading over your students work when Barbara walks into the room. Pulling your glasses from your face, you smile

“Good afternoon Ms Howard, it’s a lovely day”

“I guess it is, don’t worry I won’t be in your hair long. Just wanted some coffee”

Barbara internally cursed at herself for not remembering it was your free period, your kids were in gym while hers were in art. Try as she might but the brunette couldn’t stop her eyes from wondering over your outfit, Melissa walked in making Barbara snap her eyes back to her coffee mug.

Mellisa locked the door the click being the only noise heard, Melissa knew of your feelings for Barbara, you had once told her after one to many glasses of wine. Of course Melissa told you she felt the same but had never had the courage to do anything about it, that was when you two decided that you would be the one to tell Barbara. You had a plan, of course, you were going to just straight up ask her out but then the older women started ignoring you and you weren’t sure what to do.

Melissa sits on the table, feet moving to a chair

“Barb, we need to talk. Why do you keep avoiding us?”

Not looking up from her coffee cup, Barb shrugged her shoulders

“Does it matter? You have each other so everyone is happy” apart from me, she left that off the end but the look, she didn’t see you and Melissa shared, knew what she wanted to say. Letting out a breath, you stand up and move towards her. You gently turn her so she is facing you both

Melissa moved from the table to stand infront of her

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Tell you what?”

“Please Barb”

The look the red head gave her, broke Barbara’s heart

“If you know then why do you let me avoid you?”

Confusion ran across your face

“Let? Barbara we have tried to talk to you day after day, you ignore our calls and texts. What else were we meant to do?”

Looking down at her feet, reminding herself of her students who just got in trouble, she let a tear run down her face

“I have feelings for both of you, Mel I’m sure you’ve been aware of them for years but you started to have a crush on Y/N so I thought I’d let bygones be bygones. Clearly that was a bad idea as I have hurt you both. Y/N you’re amazing but so much younger than me and I feared I am too old for you. Both of you deserve the world and you have found that in each other, I’m happy for you”

Sharing a look, you nod at Melissa, who walked the tiny gap between her and Barbara and pulled her in for a kiss that the older women will never forget, pulling back for air Barb looked at you not sure what she was expecting to see but it definitely wasn’t love. Stepping away from the red head, she pulled you into a heated kiss, much the same as the one she had with Melissa

“I’m sorry I hurt you both”

“That’s ok hon, just please don’t do it again”

Nodding you grab your papers, heading for the door

“I’ll see you both at home tonight, oh and Barb make sure you bring clothes for tomorrow as you will be staying over, you won’t be doing loads of sleeping though”

The suggestion of what was to come quickly put a wet spot on Barbara’s panties, which she knew she would need to change.

Seeing Barbara’s reaction, Melissa smirks

“If just the suggestion of it gets you wet just wait till the real thing”

When your next birthday comes around, you wake up a lot happier spooned between the two women you love the most. Feeling a kiss on your cheek, you smile at Barbara

“Good morning sweetheart, happy birthday”

“Thank you, I’m already looking forward to it”

After a day of surprises and presents, you finally lay in bed moaning your lovers names. Cuddling into them that night you, you thank your lucky starts for everything that has happened

[elliespuns]

I apologize for giving sad little anonymous reads (it’s my specialty) but real question, how come Ellie doesn’t have body hair I mean I’m sure she does. But I never see any armpit or leg hair on her 😭

Maybe it’s cause she’s auburn & her hair might grow blond but I never truly see any body hair on her. I know Dina & Abby have some. Maybe Ellie shaves it off? But truly I doubt it I feel like she would do that. Or maybe she’s just one of those people who can’t grow body hair because I know that’s a thing.-🕸️

Well, friend, why Ellie doesn't have body hair is a mystery to all of us. I mean, I saw Dina's armpit hair. Abby has body hair too. Ellie doesn't, for some reason.

The same goes with breasts, or nudity in general. Not to sound like a creep, but why did we get to see Abby's boobs but not Ellie's? Yes, I'm also talking about Ellie's nipples. Clearly, she wasn't wearing a bra in Santa Barbara, and yet, no one gave her nipples. I mean, C'MON!

I would understand no nudity for Ellie if there really wasn't a scene that was perfect for it. We got a scene where Dina was undressing Ellie, and yes, it would be so special if it was not censored as it was. Dina wasn't undressing her for sex; she was undressing her because Ellie was too beat up to do it herself. It's exactly scenes like these where no one would look at her as an object of sexual desire (well, not speaking of the hornies, lmao) but rather as a broken human in all her glory. I know that if creators chose this way, there'd be a lot of people disrespecting the scene, but for me, it'd be so real.

I think the main reason why we didn't get to see any of this with Ellie is the fact that she is the main character, whom we once knew as a little girl, and the creators were maybe just trying to avoid "ruining" the image of a child we once saw in her with explicit scenes. It's silly, though, because we were all kids once. No normal individual would let the image of little Ellie be desecrated by seeing her naked as an adult.

I mean, after all, I still understand why they didn't choose nudity for Ellie. Although what I don't understand is the body hair. Ellie had body hair, as everyone else had. I like to imagine she was shaving it off in Part 2. I mean, when Ellie used to be traveling with Joel for almost a year, she must have grown some hair, right? She also must have felt uncomfortable if she was already used to taking care of it when she lived at FEDRA. So, coming to Jackson, she was probably glad to get rid of all the hair.  

[bjfinn]

IMAGINARY FRIENDS

Another one for @sadfungus

Mrs Durham clapped her hands together and smiled brightly. "Okay, class," she said. "I want each of you to draw a picture of your family so I can get to know them -- can you all do that for me?"

"Yes, Mrs Durham," the twenty first-graders chorused.

"Wow, Lydia," Mrs Durham said, looking at the drawing the girl had made, "you have a big family! There's you, and your mommy and daddy ... but who are these other three people?"

"That's Barbara and Adam -- they live in the attic."

"The ... attic?"

Lydia nodded. "Uh-huh," she said. "And that's Beetlejuice," she continued, pointing to the green-haired figure standing next to herself in the drawing. "He's my best friend in the whole world!"

And where does, uh ... Beetlejuice live, dear?" Mrs Durham asked.

"In the attic, of course," came the reply. "He lives with Barbara and Adam."

"I see," the teacher said, nodding. She was beginning to get the picture. "Your parents rent the attic apartment to them."

"No," Lydia said. "Mommy and daddy don't know about them -- I'm the only one who can see them."

"You are? How come?"

"Because they're ghosts, silly!" Lydia replied, giggling.

*****

When Charles Deetz came to pick Lydia up from school, Mrs Durham said, "Lydia, dear, could you give us a moment? I want to talk to your daddy for a minute."

"Okay, Mrs Durham," Lydia said, and went over to pet the class mascot, a brown-and-white guinea pig named Mr Peebles.

"Is something wrong?" Charles asked, immediately concerned. "Did something happen?"

"Oh, no, nothing happened," the teacher replied. "And I'm sure nothing's wrong." She paused briefly, and then said, "Today I asked everyone to draw a picture of their family." She showed him Lydia's drawing. "Your daughter drew this."

"Who are these other people?" he asked.

"Lydia says that they're ghosts who live in your attic -- she has quite the imagination."

"Ghosts?"

"I'm particularly interested in this 'Betelgeuse' -- it's not a name I'd expect a six year old to know."

"Betelgeuse? Like the ... it's a star, isn't it?"

Mrs Durham nodded. "In the constellation Orion. Has Lydia shown any interest in stars, by chance?"

He shook his head. "To her, stars are pretty lights in the night sky -- things you wish on." Where would she have heard that name?

"I suppose she could've heard the name on television -- PBS, maybe?" Mrs Durham suggested. "At any rate, it's nothing to worry about -- it's perfectly normal for young children to have an imaginary friend or two. Or three, in this case. I just thought you should be aware."

"Thank you, Mrs Durham," Charles said, smiling. "Lydia!" he called. "It's time to go home now -- Mommy's waiting for us."

*****

"Lydia," Charles said gently, "your teacher showed me the drawing you made today."

"Mrs Durham said to draw a picture of my family."

"And it's a very good picture," Emily told her. "Can you tell us about Barbara and Adam? And, uh ... Betelgeuse?"

"I'm not supposed to," the little girl said. "They said that you can't see them, so you wouldn't believe me."

"Because they're ghosts?" Charles prompted.

Lydia nodded.

"And they live in our attic," Emily said.

"This used to be their house," Lydia told them. "Barbara and Adam wanted to have a baby, but they died. They were very sad, and Beetlejuice came and said that they could all live here together."

"He did?"

"Uh-huh. And then that's when we moved in, and they were happy because I was here so it was like they got to have a baby after all even though they're not my mommy and daddy. But they help look after me -- they play with me when you're busy, and they make sure I'm safe."

"And what does Betelgeuse do, honey?" Charles asked.

"He's my best friend," Lydia said. "He's funny. He sings songs and does magic tricks."

Charles and Emily smiled at each other.

"Well, that's very nice of them," Emily said. "They sound like lovely people. Do you think we can meet them?"

"I dunno," Lydia replied with a shrug. "How can you meet them if you can't see them?"

"Well," Charles suggested, "maybe Betelgeuse can use his magic to let us see them. Can you ask him if he can do that?"

Lydia shrugged again. "Okay," she said. "Can I go play now?"

"Of course, honey," Emily said, giving her a kiss on the forehead. "You run along -- and say hello to your friends for us."

*****

"You told them about us?" Adam said, a look of frightened concern on his face.

Lydia nodded. "Mommy and daddy want to meet you. They said that it's very nice of you to be my friends."

"Well, this is gonna be a fucking shitshow," Beetlejuice said. He rubbed his hands together gleefully. "I can't wait!"

"Language, BJ!" Barbara scolded.

"Sorry," the demon said, chastened.

"How can they meet us?" Adam asked. "They can't see us -- we're ghosts! "

"Daddy said maybe Beetlejuice can use his magic."

"Oh, he did, did he?" Beetlejuice scowled, his hair going red at the tips. "He wants to see my magic? I'll give him some magic!"

"BJ! " Barbara said. "That's enough! " She knelt down and gently put her hands on Lydia's shoulders. "What do you think, honey? Do you think it's a good idea for your parents to meet us?"

"I want us to all be a family together."

Adam pulled a handkerchief out of his back pocket and dabbed at his suddenly moist eyes. "That's so sweet," he said.

Beetlejuice scoffed. "Breathers can't be trusted," he said scornfully. "Once they find out we're real, they're gonna do everything they can to get rid of us. Trust me, A-dog, you don't wanna be on the receiving end of an exorcism."

"What's a ... a nexorscissors?" Lydia asked.

"It's bad news if you're a ghost, kid," Beetlejuice told her.

"I don't want anything bad to happen to you!" Lydia said, throwing her arms around the demon. "Or Barbara and Adam, either! You're ... you're my friends! " She began to sob, her tears watering the moss growing on Beetlejuice's clothes as he patted her back, trying to console her.

"It's okay, sweetie," Barbara said, hugging the girl gently.

"I'm sorry! I shouldn't have told mommy and daddy about you! Now they're gonna make you all go away with the nexorscissors, and it's all my fault! "

*****

Charles chuckled. "Lydia sure has one hell of an imagination," he said to his wife. "She must get it from you -- you're the creative one, not me."

Emily smiled. "I think it's cute - especially this one," she said, pointing to the figure labelled 'Beetljoos'. "Where did she come up with that name?"

Charles shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe Mrs Durham was right -- maybe it was on a PBS show. 'Nova', maybe." He poured himself a scotch -- Glenlivet -- and settled himself on the couch next to Emily. He raised his glass. "Here's to the boundless imagination of childhood!"

Emily raised her glass of white wine. "Here's to Betelgeuse," she replied.

*****

They're happy about this??? Beetlejuice said to himself. He'd been spying on Lydia's parents, hoping to get an idea of what they were planning, but he wasn't expecting this.

It was a bit of a relief, but at the same time it was kind of insulting -- how dare they not take him seriously! He had half a mind to reveal himself just to see them shit their pants! That'd teach them!

But in order for them to see him, someone would have to say his name three times uninterrupted. And he wasn't going to make Lydia do it. She was special to him -- he had a soft spot for the kid. Lydia had been able to see him right from the start -- that had seriously freaked him out at first, since no other breather had ever been able to do that, but after a while he'd actually started to like it, and he found himself caring about her.

He wondered what he should do.

*****

"As long as they think we're just her imaginary friends, everything will be okay," Barbara said when Beetlejuice told the Maitlands what he'd heard. "It's not unusual for children Lydia's age."

Adam nodded. "I had lots of imaginary friends when I was young."

"I bet you did," Beetlejuice quipped.

Adam opened his mouth to reply, but Barbara cut him off.

"We'll just have to be careful, that's all," she said. "We can't do anything that'll make them think that there's anything more to it than Lydia's imagination." She looked pointedly at Beetlejuice. "That means no spooky stuff."

"What about --" the demon began.

"No," Barbara told him.

"Maybe just a little --"

"Whatever you're thinking, the answer's no."

"Aw, come on, Babs," he wheedled. "I'm a demon! You can't expect me to go cold turkey! How 'bout the occasional --"

"No!" she insisted. "Nothing at all, BJ!"

Beetlejuice began to sulk. "Well, that's no fun."

"What happens when she gets older?" Adam asked. "Having imaginary friends is fine when you're six, but not when you're sixteen."

"Bet you know all about that, don't you, big boy?" Beetlejuice teased, grinning.

Once again, Adam started to protest, but then he decided not to bother.

"By then she'll be old enough to hide it," Barbara replied.

"Just like Adam has," said the demon, not letting up on his friend. Adam, again, started to defend himself, and Beetlejuice, grinning, held up both hands. "I'm just sayin', is all." He leaned forward. "How's about we kiss and make up?" He puckered his lips in invitation.

Adam flinched, and Barbara, despite herself, chuckled.

"I hate to say it," Adam pointed out, "but even if she could keep us a secret, it could have long-term effects on Lydia's mental health."

Beetlejuice had another witty remark ready, but Barbara spoke before he could. "We'll have plenty of time to figure it out before then," she said to her husband. "For now, she's just a little girl with a big imagination."

But it turned out that they didn't have as much time as they thought.

*****

For a few weeks, life in the Deetz home continued as expected -- Charles and Emily indulged Lydia's "imaginary friends", setting places for them at the table, admiring the portraits their daughter continued to draw, laughing when Lydia told them of the funny things the three ghosts said and did ... .

Every now and then, though, when the house was quiet, Emily thought she could hear voices -- low, indistinct -- seemingly coming from the attic. At first, she thought nothing of it, but gradually it became more and more unsettling. What if there was something more to it than Lydia's imagination? She'd heard stories of people living undetected for weeks, even years, in others' homes -- what if they were more than just urban legends? Could that kind of thing actually happen?

She said nothing about it to her husband. After all, it was probably just her own imagination -- there's no way three people could be living in the attic without her and Charles knowing! In the nearly four years that they'd lived in the house she'd been up there countless times, and had seen no evidence of squatters -- other than the occasional bird that got in, and a raccoon that had moved in and had a litter of pups last year (and they'd been successfully relocated to the countryside), nothing bigger than a spider lived up there.

And yet ... the feeling that something was going on remained.

*****

Beetlejuice was getting restless -- the demon wasn't used to sitting on his hands and not causing chaos.

"I need to do something -- anything! " he moaned. "I need to scare somebody! I need to hear them screaming in terror!" He looked at Barbara, giving her his "sad puppy" face. "Please let me scare them -- just a little? "

"No," Barbara replied. "We agreed. For Lydia."

"Fine! " Beetlejuice said angrily.

"Why don't you ... I don't know ... go wrestle a sandworm or something?" Adam smirked.

Beetlejuice sidled up to him. "I'd like to wrestle you," he said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Whaddya say, Adam? You and me ... it could be fun."

He licked Adam's cheek with his tongue.

"Get away from me!" Adam yelped, shuddering and frantically wiping the demon's saliva from his face.

Suddenly Emily's voice called from the bottom of the stairs. "Hello? Is somebody up there?"

"Now look what you've done!" Barbara whispered angrily.

"He started it!" Beetlejuice said.

"Hello?" Emily called again. "I'm coming up, and there'd better not be anyone in the attic -- I'm armed!"

Beetlejuice popped out to check. "She's holding a vase," he told them when he returned.

"A vase? " Adam echoed. "What good would that do against an intruder?"

"It's a really big vase," Beetlejuice said.

Emily opened the door to the attic and stood at the threshold, gripping the vase tightly by the neck in both hands. "Is anybody in here?"

The three ghosts were silent. Invisible.

Emily cautiously entered. Looking around, she noticed that one of the small windows was open, the shutters knocking against the outside wall in the breeze. Breathing a sigh of relief, she stepped forward and closed the shutters, latching them from the inside.

She looked around a bit more, just in case a bird or some other small animal had gotten in, and then she left.

"Whew!" Barbara said. "That was close!"

"That was nothing!" Beetlejuice replied. "One time I was in the Big Apple, and there was this --"

The attic door flew open and Emily rushed in, brandishing the vase. She stopped, stunned, at the sight of three people standing there. "You're real! "

Beetlejuice made a quick flicking motion with his hands, and Emily was suddenly immobilised, a look of sheer terror on her face. "She can see us! Just like Lydia!"

"Lydia must've inherited the ... gift from her mother!" Barbara said.

"What is happening? " Emily asked, still paralysed. "Who are you people? What are you doing in my attic? What do you want with my daughter?"

Barbara went over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay," she said soothingly. "We don't mean any harm. I'm Barbara Maitland, and this is my husband, Adam."

"Hi," Adam said, smiling and giving Emily a little wave.

"This used to be our house," Barbara explained. "Just like Lydia told you. We ... died shortly after we moved in. Then you and your family bought the place, and we found out that your daughter can see us. She's a sweet girl, and we'd never do anything to cause her harm. We've grown to love her as if she were our own."

"W-who's -- who's that? " Emily asked, looking fearfully at the third member of the trio. "Is that ... Betelgeuse?"

"Hi!" Beetlejuice said brightly. "You can call me BJ. Or Beej. It's a pleasure to meet you, Emily -- I feel like I already know you so well!" He stuck out his hand, but then remembered that he'd immobilised her. "Oh, sorry -- maybe later, huh?"

"Beej is ... a friend of ours," Adam said.

Beetlejuice brightened at that.

"Sort of," Adam clarified.

"I love you, too, sweetie," BJ replied, rapidly flicking his tongue.

"This... this isn't real," Emily said, shaking her head slowly. "This can't be happening -- I must be dreaming. Or ... or losing my mind."

Barbara took hold of Emily's shoulders. "You're not dreaming, and you're not losing your mind. The three of us are real. We're real, Emily. And we mean you and your family no harm."

"This ... this is real?" Emily couldn't believe it. "Ghosts are real? "

Barbara nodded.

"So ... what happens now?"

"Good question," Barbara said. She looked at Beetlejuice. "Well? You're the expert -- any idea where we go from here?"

He nodded. "I can think of one thing," he said, eyes glowing. "But you're not gonna like it."

"Think of something else."

"I was only joking!" he said, his eyes returning to normal. "You guys are way too easy!" He looked at Adam and licked his lips. "Especially you, handsome -- maybe later we can make out, whaddya say?"

"Focus, Beej!" Barbara told him.

"Okay, okay!" He put a hand to the side of his mouth and, in an exaggerated stage whisper, said to Adam, "You know where to find me, sweet cheeks." Then he turned to Barbara and Emily.

"Bye, Emily!" he said. He snapped his fingers, and she vanished.

Barbara rounded on him angrily. "What did you do? If you hurt her, I swear I'll --"

"Relax, Babs -- she's fine!" he told her. "I just sent her back downstairs. She won't remember a thing! Trust me, babe!"

Barbara narrowed her eyes at him. "Trust you? "

Beetlejuice looked stricken. "You wound me!"

"Better go check on her," Adam said. "Just to be sure."

"Good idea," Beetlejuice agreed. "That way, me and the candy man can have some alone time." He leered at Adam, sticking his tongue out lasciviously. "Daddy wants some sugar."

"Ewww," Adam replied.

Barbara popped downstairs.

She found Emily asleep on the couch, and as she watched, the woman woke up. Emily put a hand to her head and moaned softly. "What a weird dream," she mumbled to herself. "I think I should lay off the mimosas at brunch."

[lolotheparagon]

What Each G3 Pony Thinks of Scarecrow

Scootaloo: HES THE BEST!! He’s super scary, super smart, super cool and just SUPER EVERYTHING! I was the only pony out of my friends who liked scary stuff so I’m so psyched to have a friend I have something in common with! And to think this all started from me making a wish for a live scarecrow. We both try to scare people on the street which is really easy for me cos for some reason, I scare everyone in Gotham. Mr Crane says it’s because they can’t comprehend talking ponies. Weird. Anyway, Mr Crane may be a grump, but I bet having seven ponies to look after must be pretty hard. He always makes time for me though! He says I’m his no 1 henchpony and calls me Ragnarök! Which means natural disasters or something. Either way it’s cool! He’s the best boss ever and I hope he likes this new butterfly bomb I came up with!

Cheerilee: I thought he was a stinky old man at first, but we’ve got a lot more in common than I thought! For a scarecrow, he’s actually very smart! Which is strange, cos I thought scarecrows have no brains. Well, that shows what I know! Mr Crane has taught me loads of subjects like psychology, complex math and biology. Ponyville’s library doesn’t have any knowledge like this. It is a little hard to wrap my head around at times but it is worth it to rub it in Scoot’s face hehe. Mr Crane would make a very good teacher, if he didn’t look like a stitched up skeleton

Rainbow Dash: I know he doesn’t get my love of fashion and that’s totes understandable. He’s old. I mean have you SEEN that cloak?! Major frump alert! And pee-uw! does his breath stink! But he’s cool, as long as you don’t put him in a bad mood. But that won’t stop me from putting him in a dress! He is long overdue for a makeover!

Pinkie Pie: I don’t know if he’s our boss or our dad but either way, it’s nice to have someone to look up to. I may be the leader of my friends, but Im still a pony. So I can always rely on Mr Crane for advice. But he has a very weird sense of what’s right and wrong and I’m gonna criticise the heck out of that! I’ve never seen Mr Crane laugh, but when he does, it’s nice to see! But he’s never happy regularly when he’s around us. Sometimes I don’t know if he likes us very much… I try to cheer him up with a surprise party, but Mr Crane doesn’t like parties. Says they’re too loud. Doesn’t like the colour pink either. He does save us from Riddler’s bullying and protects us from people in Gotham throwing stuff at us, he’s very polite and says he “likes” us. So thats good!

Sweetie Belle: He can be a bit mean and grumpy but I think he’s very nice deep down. After all, he gives us toys, trips to the funfair and ice cream if we’re good! He also gave us such funny nicknames! I’m Pesticide! It’s also funny how he struggles to say our normal names without making a grumpy face! Haha Mr Crane is the funniest boss ever! Although I don’t get his whole scaring people thing with fear. I’m pretty sure he can scare people with how he looks already

Toola Roola: Its amazing how a scarecrow can be both magic and be really smart! He looks very scary but I guess that’s his job, isn’t it? And it kinda makes sense where he comes from. Gotham is a very gloomy place. Aw, I bet he misses it a little after being in Ponyville for so long. Maybe I’ll paint him a nice graveyard with lots of crows on it. That’ll cheer him up!

Starsong: You can tell he’s an old man cos he doesn’t know what TikTok is. Although it is so worth it cos his dancing is so silly, heehee! Good thing our babysitter whenever we visit Gotham, Barbara Gordon, knows all about TikTok and loves our dances! She has a beautiful singing voice! Oh yeah, we were talking about Mr Crane. Well, the only dancing he likes is the St Vitus’ dance. Why would a dance be named after a saint? That doesn’t sound very groovy…Mr Crane’s really weird.

Here is part 1.

[belle-of-a-time]

Because the rot consumes here’s

Batfam-Soul Eater AU

Bruce is a weapon and he’s a gun. And he fucking hates it like Despises it

Talia turned him into a death scythe but lord death never makes him transform. He’s just a strategist and a teacher now.

Talia is a witch but she hid it until after she made Bruce a death scythe.

Also Bruce’s like honor code is a little different here since “no killing” is kinda silly when the only reason the academy exists is to kill kishins he thinks A: everyone is constantly teetering on the edge of madness all the time. And B: it is a moral failing if you succumb to the madness. Which is why he didn’t go after the joker after Jason, because doing so would have been giving in to the madness.

Dick is a meister

He bounced back and forth between Barbara who is a grappling hook and also a meister and Kori who is some sort of lava cannon or something.

Barbara got Severely hurt during a fight while wielding Jason and had to stop for a while. She’s back at it though, helping Bruce as a strategist and as like “Mission Control” Bruce is guiding her to take over for him someday.

Dick now fights with Wally who is his like electric escrima sticks because speedster=lightning in my mind.

Jason is also a gun but he thinks it’s Very cool. Barbara was with Jason when they were assigned to take down the joker who is a kishin egg. He killed Jason and severely injured Babs.

Jason was revived by Talia because obviously, using the black blood and he was overtaken by the madness for a while before being pulled back towards sanity by his friends.

Hes partnered with Roy now who Does have A daughter Lian. Teen pregnancy stuff. You get it.

Tim is a meister. He can resonate with anyone but he really struggled to find a weapon he really clicked with. So he fought by directing his soul wavelength for a while.

He met Bernard who is a bo staff and they clicked and are now partners.

Steph used to fight by herself using a non person weapon, no one is really sure where she got it. But now she and Cassandra are partners and No One but Steph and maybe Bruce and Barbara know what kind of weapon she is all anyone can tell is that she’s something small, she can also see soul wavelengths.

There’s a good chance though that when you see Steph alone that Cass is actually transformed and concealed somewhere on her person

Duke is a weapon who fights alone (like Justin law) I don’t know what kind of weapon but it’s something weird and COOL he’s got to be really super cool. It definitely glows and he can like “enchant” (not really the word I’m looking for but it works) it with his soul wavelength to like resonate/boost his own attacks.

Duke is the closest to becoming a death scythe of the batfam.

Damian is PISSED that he wasn’t born a weapon. He really really wants to be a death scythe, so it bums him out that he can’t.

I think it’s really funny if he Is actually a weapon but he’s even more repressed than Maka so literally no one knows.

That or Talia tried to ensure he’d be a witch and it backfired somehow and locked away his weapon transformation instead.

He’s partnered with Jon who is a sword

Damian is absolutely determined to make Jon into the youngest death scythe ever

Jon does not particularly care either way he definitely wants to become a death scythe but isn’t super bothered by timeline but if that’s what Damian wants god damnit he’s going to try his best!! Jon is very Tsubaki core to me. They are the tsu/blackstar combo of the batfam.

Back to Jason, Bruce understands Jason’s struggle with the madness and just really really wants his son to talk to him but he never ever gives ANY indication that he’d react well or even Want to talk to Jason about anything. Especially when he keeps reacting so high and mighty and preachy when Jason is Worse at dealing with the madness than anyone else.

Other—non batfam—headcanons

Clark and Lois are a death scythe/ meister combo In that order. They’re off doing shit constantly and Kon ends up basically taking care of Jon most of the time.

J’onn is a teacher (also a weapon) at the academy in my mind the like struggle with madness is split off onto Bruce but the like rest of stein is in J’onn mixed with Sid’s like dad energy.

J’onn is the teacher that Everyone goes to for advice about basically anything.

Also J’onn is a weapon who can change form like Tsubaki can but he’s got A Lot more forms. He can see wavelengths. And attack with his own wavelength. He’s basically super overpowered but he hardly ever has to fight.

Barry is a death scythe nuff said

All of the like magic users in the justice league including aquaman because… fish. Are witches

Zetanna’s witch form/animal form is a lion because she gives me ringmaster vibes? Idk.

Constantine’s animal form is the wettest saddest rat you’ve ever seen. It’s also huge. Also he is Literally trading off pieces of his soul and he looks SUPER freaky to anyone who can see souls

The main villain of the arc is the league of assassins. Run by witches. The academy and the justice league witches team up to take them down. They’re trying to turn the joker into a full blown kishin using the black blood which is a stand in for the Lazarus pits. I’m thinking like full on Pits of the stuff and everyone has to donate blood to the pits every time they walk past. All these assassins are Covered in self inflicted cuts so they can donate their blood.

When people displease Ra’s they get bled out into the black blood. Like draining an animal style. So ominously hanging over the pit by the ankles bleeding out into it are like a lot of bodies. And in the center in like a cage half submerged in the blood is the joker and they bring him all the souls after the people bleed to death.

They do kidnap J’onn at some point, also Tim, and Bernard, and idk Lian for the drama

So rescue mission! Also kill the joker! Is the main finale.

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Of all Unburied Riddler lines one that always stayed with me was the moment in his interview with Barbara were he says "I'm a very good text taker, though". I don't know why. Maybe there's just someone on how Hasan says it. But stayed with me. And I'm not the best person to explain Unburied Riddler but maybe I'm the best to explain how he resonates with me. So this time instead of a silly edit, my propaganda for the @riddlersexymancompetition is going to be a long ass post about this sentence and how it resonates with me. And it has different parts.

• Part One: Defense Mechanism

The easier way to interpret this sentence is if we twist it to manipulation. Riddler is a good text taker because he can identify the answer other people want to hear and genuinaly express them no matter if he agrees with it or even if it's true.

Is the type of tecnique one developes with time and need and to imagine how and why he needed it is a fascinating rabbit hole. But no matter what it's a defense. Knowing what to say is how he gets Barbara to accept his help after all. A direct relation with the scene the sentence is in. He get's what he wants because he knows what to say and who to say it to. It can also explain why he took so long to trust Barbara with the truth - because he needed to access her to find the moment the truth would be safe, because he is used to it not being safe - or why he can easly know how to calm Bruce down. It is a skill and it did protect him.

It protected him more than he thinks.

Of all the rogues on his ward Edward is the only one who never had direct contact with Strange. All the others have horror stories or at least bad footnotes but Edward barely knows him. Strange is never mentioned as his psychiatrist or even as nothing more than "departament chief" by Eddie. And this is odd. During the time it was launching on Brazil one of the few youtubers that talked about it - the type who insisted it was about Gotham police and not the general system - even used this to theorize that Edward was involved somehow (because he loves to be wrong I suppose).

Edward never got in contact with Strange. Why would he? Strange only dealt personally with difficult cases - after all why would chief of psychiatry treat normal patients - and while he was a rogue, Edward was also a model patient. He was rude and mean and annoying but he always gave the right answers. And therefore Strange had no reason to treat him. Maybe he wanted to, maybe he didn't. But without even realizing Eddie turned himself untouchable by the head of psychiatry abuse and mal practice.

• Part Two: Identity Crisis

Unburied Edward cannot be defined more than by this two words. It is his center turmoil, his theme, in his core he is a man that has no clue who he is.

There is an unlimited number of points and analisys to be made here about mental health and race and existencialism. But this is a post about a sentence and therefore I'll talk about how this sentence fits these thematics.

I know one thing or two about being a "good text taker", I'm no Riddler, far from it but I understand something or other of mimicking others aspects and answering like I think they want to because it's easier and it gives me praise. But I don't do it often because I'm not always ready. Eddie is. All his lies make sense when he knows he will get away with it. That his answer is the perfect one. But when you mold yourself in being an enigma, in being exactally what everyone wants where does you end and the others begin?

• Part Three: Neurodiversity

Again this need to fit in by lying is not necessarialy an autistic behavior. It can be a result of a lot of factors. But as an autistic that was only diagnosed later in life this is what I can talk about in my reading.

Edward's hability was my dream as kid: to be abble to just read people into knowing exactally what they wanted no matter what because than I would stop failling, stop having to deal with the consequences of giving a "wrong" answer or do a stupid thing. And for someone who had to really learn this skill, who never had that and always wanted, will likely be dependant of it. Good text takers but confused people.

Because who they are becames secondary to the point they stop knowing allthogether. It's a dream becaming an existencial nightmare. And that's why Riddler's sentence resonates. The mix of sardonic desperation and total pride that it's present on this sentence. The way it's sayed as a brag but also as a plea. Barbara's response of this being the first true thing he said. His tendency to just say what he wants others to hear being the first thing he says without wanting to manipulate her somehow. Is genius.

That's to say I do read it as masking. Or at least as how I see masking, as answering questions not with the right answers but with the expected ones.

• Final Considerations:

Unburied does characther work like no other and Hasan deliever makes it real and full of unexpect, new and high emotions to the point I could write all this for a single line. It's an amazing show truly and completly and it's Riddler is part of it! Vote Unburied!

[byfulcrums]

TW for SA

I'm seeing so many people defending Raven after what she did to Wally and what the fuck 😥

I would stop talking about this but I rant a lot when I get angry and there's no one to talk to rn. So you're all my new victims lmao /j

Okay. I just saw a person say “Ppl invent SA against their (male) favorite characters and ignore the SA against female characters in the same piece of media”

And, uh. That's pretty familiar, don't you think?

Say, what does it remind you of?

Personally, it reminds me of men victimizing themselves when women talk about the continued SA they have to go through during all their lives.

“You talk about males being SAd, but what about females being SAd?” = “Men get raped too”

It's awfully similar, isn't it?

That post was directed at Walls (Gimme, Hunter, or their full blog name: givemewallywestorgivemedeath) because they talked about Wally's experience with SA after an Anon (I think they were anonymous, can't remember tho) asked them about it

And, well. Not only did a person literally asked directly about Wally's experience with SA (not Starfire's, not Raven's, not Barbara's, not Dick's: Wally's), but their blog is literally all about speedsters. Mostly. So OF COURSE they were gonna talk about Wally West, the Flash, a speedster

And look. I get it if you dislike Wally and people who like Wally. I get it if you like Raven. It's fine. We all like different things. There's no need to force other people to love what you love. But defend her after she SAd someone? No. That's not right.

Guys, that was sexual assault. It wasn't Raven being a silly little gal. It was actual assault and an incredibly traumatizing situation that affected Wally's entire being for the rest of his life

Don't be a hypocrite and stop bringing other people down the way you complain everyone does to you (and i'm not saying they don't, because in this case, they do. Men hate women. I don't know why, since it makes no sense, but they do. They want to bring women down. Not all of them, ofc, but most. But don't do the same thing to other people. Don't be a fucking hypocrite, it's not that hard)

And like. I'll be the first person to talk about the SA women suffer. I'm all down for it. Heck, I already do it. But you don't need to erase other people's experiences to elevate your own

And this is for men too: men get raped too, we know, and it's something terrible that no one should go through. But you only start talking about it when women are talking about their own issues. If you don't want to bring a woman down, then you'll ignore the SA against men. Don't do that.

[gautierprotectionsquad]

My live reactions while listening to Batman: Unburied

Listening to Batman Unburied. It’s SO good. Bruce Wayne is a forensic pathologist and his parents are alive and he’s trying to catch a cannibal called the Harvester except it’s all in his head. Back in the real world Bruce Wayne is “dead” and Barbara is the real main character other than Bruce. Batman is not batdad in this, which is fine, but it’s weird that Barbara is a character but Dick is not.

WAIT FUCKING WAIT IS THAT JUSTIN MCELROY? THE MCELROYS ARE IN BATMAN UNBURIED?? WHAT???

I’m loving DC deciding to put Riddler in more stuff instead of the Joker. Joker’s overused.

Why did riddler saying “it’s mr.nigma” sound like he introduced himself as Mr.Ligma lol.

“Ace has mostly stayed by the window waiting for master bruce.” Awww Ace.

LOVING riddler in this. He’s so funny. Also loving that this is Barbara focused. And they got a diverse cast. 

So Bruce was actually getting better and healing from his parents death only to feel super guilty when he realized it and decided to push everyone away. Unburied has been reminding me of BTAS. Bits and pieces of things happening here have happened in BTAS before. The forgetting he’s batman, the psych evaluation with a lightshow,referencing gray ghost, living in an alt reality in his head where his parents were still alive, and now Batman feeling guilty he’s moving on from his parent’s murder while dating vicki.

There’s griffin and travis on Ep 4!

The conversation between bruce and his parents at the beginning of ep 5 OH MY GOD! YAY! I love this; it’s SOOOO good!

So Hugo Strange is the real villain! Now Bruce gets to beat up the Mcelboys.

Ep 6 riddler. dude. He’s so silly. “Ah hoy hoy! You need me on the fairway. You need me for luck. But once you have me, you’re well and truly fucked.” Silly man! I love the riddler in this! “The improbable jawline beneath the cowl.” this man truly did play riddler gay (and we wouldn’t have it any other way.) i love riddler in this SO MUCH.

WHOA TWIST! RIDDLER DIDN’T STAB GORDON! 

“This city and its cartoon bullshit”.

Strange is DEAD? Did his own guy kill him?! The cannibal dude? No, not that? Strange isn’t behind everything?

WOAH batman’s doing the thing his subconscious Brucie does. HOLY…REALLY?! Is that new or has this batman always done that?

So it’s MadHatter? No, not him either.

Something about batman villains cursing is so funny.

BATMAN APOLOGIZED? Like it was nothing!

Dude! Connecting cannibalism with eating the body of christ. 

Wow they’re bringing in all the villains except joker here. There’s ivy!

He doesn’t know ivy’s name?

This is a new backstory for her i think. Her dad makes bioweapons? And he fucking tested them on her! That’s so fucked up! Wow this guy sucks so bad, he even killed his wife bc she cared about her daughter.

She had a girlfriend named Alex in college in this! neat. (i think this ivy and stiefvater’s swamp thing would get along) uh oh i think something bad is going to happen to Alex. Ok she’s fine she just didn’t like Ivy killed a guy. Ivy can’t kiss anyone in this universe. Huh.

So bc bruce tried to protect this tree, that’s what led to ivy and strange working together.

Obv he chooses vicki. He can always catch the bad-people later.

AH fuck! Batman is compromised! AH what a cliffhanger right before the last episode.

“Leaping lords, gray ghost!” GRAY GHOST HAS HIS OWN ROBIN??? NAMES POLTERGEIST!!??!? AAAHH!

“You chose a world where we were disappointed in you” OOF

OUGH there’s Bruce feeling guilty he’s moving on from his parent’s death! In his own words! “It’s not just about you anymore. I LIKE it.” YES YES YES YES. “we don’t have to be the first thing you think about when you wake up” T_T

NOO ALFRED’S BEEN COMPROMISED! 

“I have something you don’t. I have a dog.” LOL

YOU CAN’T KILL OFF ISLEY!

Bruce apologizes AND TELLS ALFRED HE LOVED HIM!!!!!

The final message of unburied: ACAB.

Looks like ivy’s still alive. And she got back together with her ex.

Why does bruce interrupting riddler’s dinner sound like a date and flirting?!

overall review: 10/10

[troglobite]

again pls let me be w the shows i watch lol

more Thoughts

okay also watching episode 2 again of this season and the tinhat is fully fucking on

WHY does ted care SO MUCH abt trent?

he says yes against everyone's wishes

trent just keeps staring at ted the whole time waiting patiently for his answer he HAS to know everyone is trying to get ted to say no to this idea

ted's SO excited to see him

he mentions a baggie of his hair ties in lost and found?! either it's true and for some reason ted made note of it, or he's poking fun at trent for having an incredible head of hair. lol

then beyond that

the thing that got me and made me wanna think out loud

was the exchange w roy in the locker room

"your ego is abt to jeopardize a lot more than one football game, okay?"

oh REALLY ted? HOW MUCH MORE? WHAT EXACTLY IS THAT MORE?

my god the tinhat it fits so snugly i love it

trent waits patiently awkwardly in the locker room for him and roy to come back out like my god

also i'm just.

okay he also--this is SO tinhat.

in rebecca's office

they mention handfuls

ted's like "never a handful of skittles, though, the dye gets all over your hands and it's sticky. and you CAN print that."

[the tinfoil hat turns rainbow]

we need another way to refer to ppl who are having fun w crackships or batshit fan theories etc. even THAT needs a different name. alas, it's almost 5 am and i'm way too tired to think of any.

ANYWAY.

then my favorite little bit

trent's whole thing yada yada yada you're doing this bc of rupert mannion

"yeah basically"

"love that"

WHOMST ELSE WOULD LOVE THAT EXCEPT FOR SOMEONE WHO ALSO HAS AN EX (HUSBAND) THAT THEY'D LOVE TO PISS OFF?

i'm JUST SAYING.

that man has NO wedding ring and a YOUNG daughter.

he has that beautiful hair and a silly swaggering way of walking

his style is ridiculous

he uses and carries RAINBOW MUGS

he simply raises his eyebrows and keeps walking, A Change Man, after seeing colin making out w michael

also interesting that everybody's in fic and stuff being like "oh he calls him coach lasso"

no he doesn't he literally says "goodnight, ted"

he literally says ted

also just those LOOKS in that conversation

my god mmmmmm i have never been so tinhatty.

except for spn and tbh i Was A Fool. this time i'm just having fun.

they made/confirmed two characters as canonically queer! I AM SIMPLY HAVING A GRAND OL TIME WAITING TO FIND OUT WHO ELSE IN THE SHOW MIGHT BE!!!!! WHO WILL JOIN THEIR RANKS?!

mayhaps the "fancy" man who ted complimented as their first interaction who has a young daughter, no wedding ring, and no evidence of an ex, who reacted w the aplomb of a seasoned homosexual upon seeing colin and michael?

I'M JUST SAYING.

i could watch episode 2 over and over and over again

jamie and dani being friends is the best thing and jamie being rightfully irritated AND a bit jealous abt zava? excellent nuance.

he's right! they don't need him! but that comes from a place of awareness abt the team and caring for them, AND a place of jealousy bc HE wants to be the star player on the team. (along w dani and sam, of course, as much as he rags on them)

loved that bit.

anyway.

trent crimm, homosexual. love it. that man? he's queer.

i had forgotten abt keeley bc i was just like "yeah, yeah, plausible deniability, a lot of straight women talk like that"

i had brushed off colin bc it was one or two throwaway comments or camera framing and he was sort of the butt of a few jokes, an unserious guy.

but now?

my god.

and TRENT?!

i'm just.

HOOOOO BOY.

ALSO

THERE WAS ANOTHER AMSTERDAM REFERENCE IN EPISODE TWO.

the snowglobe in barbara's office that the camera most closely focuses on is AMSTERDAM. IT'S FROM AMSTERDAM.

like holy fucking shit this next episode is going to explode us all, isn't it?

i am. EXPERIENCING.

MANY EMOTIONS.

[house-of-slayterr]

You ask the Gotham Citizens their pronouns:

Ocs included: @keffirinne @howl-fantasies @flaysthings @animegoddexx

Bruce:

The pronouns I use most commonly are He/him, but I suppose they/them would but just fine as well. And which pronouns is it that you use?

Selena:

She/Her, why are you asking? We’ve got shit to steal!

Ivy:

She/Her (depending on which Ivy she either smiles cutely or more sinister)

Alfred:

Umm, He/Him mate, and what about you? Mr, Mrs or Mx?

Harvey:

The boy ones kid. What about you?

Jim:

He? *goes back to work*

Oswald:

He/They is quite find my dear. Thank you for asking, and what about you?

Ed:

What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three legs in the evening?

You:

A man?

Ed:

Correct, He/Him is just fine love.

Barbara:

She/Her cutie, what should I call you? *flirting*

Butch:

He/They… I think. Hey babe, which pronouns do you usually use when talking about me?

Tabitha:

She/her, don’t forget it!

Victor:

What the fuck is a pronoun? Why haven’t I shot you yet?

Harley:

He/Him, and you?

Mo:

They/Them please!

Y/N:

What the fuck does it look like? She/her!

Maggie:

She/Her please, and what would you like me to use for you?

V:

They/She… but everyone just calls me Bug, so I suppose you could use that as a neo pronoun as well. I don’t really care all that much. Do you have pronouns? Of course you do! That’s was a silly question!

Basil:

He, though I suppose anything is fine. It doesn’t bother me. Which would you like me to use for you?

Freeze:

Why are you even talking to me?

Lucius:

He/Him, thank you for asking. And yours?

[elowenp]

“What do you want?” Barbara asks, voice crackling with static.

It’s a silly question. Tim wants crime rates to go down. Tim wants Gotham to be a safer city. Tim wants to be a part of making that happen.

“A code name that isn’t stupid.” he says instead.

Barbara sighs. It doesn’t sound like a sigh though. It just sounds like the static’s getting louder.

~

“Bernard Dowd, scholar of the ages.” Tim laughs, arm slung round Bernard's shoulder. “I thought you were meant to be the fun one?”

“I am.” Bernard groans, “as soon as these exams are done I’ll be back to the usual student life. Getting drunk, going on dates, Gotham won’t know what’s hit it.”

“Going on dates?” Tim asks jokingly, even as a well hidden part of him turns slightly panicked. “Any successes an old friend should be hearing about?”

“Not really.” Bernard shrugs, jostling Tim’s arm. “Just a couple of girls I was better off friends with.” He pauses, thinking, before continuing with his voice involuntarily going a little higher. “Couple of guys too.”

“Huh.” Tim suddenly becomes very aware of all the places where his arm is touching Bernard. He doesn’t move it. “Better luck next time.”

Huh.

~

Tim’s been avoiding Dick. He’s been awkward around him lately, Tim thinks that Barbara must have said something. He’s not stupid enough to have done something to send Dick spiralling without noticing it.

“What do you want?” Dick asks, curious, without warning.

Tim wants to ask if Barbara put him up to this but he knows it’s a genuine question. Dick isn’t manipulative like that, not with family.

What does Tim want? Isn’t it a little late for Dick go be asking that question? All the things that happened after Bruce’s death put a canyon of distance between them. It’s slowly been growing smaller but it hasn’t disappeared. Neither of them have had time enough to spend together for that to happen.

An awful, bitter part of Tim that hasn’t stopped screaming since Robin wasn’t his any more wonders if Dick would even be asking if Damian wasn’t out of town right now.

“For us to go train surfing.” Tim says. Petty. Just so Dick will say no and his anger can feel righteous instead of ill-deserved.

“Okay.” Dick says instead. Easy and confident. Himself.

“Oh.” Tim’s anger fizzles into non-existence. “Okay.”

The canyon grows a little smaller.

~

“We should go to a skatepark.” Bernard says, a little giggly from the beer in his hand.

There’s a matching beer in Tim’s hand although it’s still practically full. If there’s an emergency he’ll be of no use drunk. “What? Why?”

“Why not? You were so good in high school! And you had fun doing it.” Bernard’s tone turns a little less giggly. “You should do more things you find fun.”

Tim is surprised enough that the “Okay.” slips out of his lips unbidden.

So maybe the beer bottle is a little less full than he’d like to admit.

They borrow a board from one of Bernard's flatmates and catch a bus to a skate park Tim remembers using when he was younger. As they go Tim tries to remember why he stopped. He tries to remember when he stopped. He can’t recall the answer to either question and annoyance rises in his chest over it.

Then Bernard is saying something and it has Tim snorting with laughter and he forgets his irritation.

Once they arrive Bernard settles himself at the top of one of the ramps like it’s a throne. “Entertain me!” he calls, “Impress me with your wheel-board magic.

Tim manages a kick-flip on his first attempt and Bernard makes a loud noise of approval.

A lot of stuff comes back to Tim fairly quickly. Most of skateboarding had been muscle memory for him and that’s something that being a vigilante hadn’t exactly hindered. As things return to him he regains some faint memories of why he’d stopped. Nothing specific, just that feeling of not having enough time. Of thinking that going to the skatepark wasn’t a particularly useful way to spend his hours while there was still real work to be done.

Tim’s always been a vigilante first, but he thinks there must have been a point when that wasn’t the only thing he was. Well, when it wasn’t the only thing he was that mattered.

“Come on!” Bernard shouts, teeth flashing white against Gotham’s grey-black sky. “I was promised entertainment!”

Tim laughs. He seems to do that a lot around Bernard these days.

He starts moving on the skateboard, deciding to leave the existentialism for another day.

~

First Dick and now Bruce. Tim’s family has really been making a habit of being weird around him lately.

He would normally think that the Bruce was worried about him, that Dick had passed along some bullshit about his mental health and Bruce was practicing some silent vigil. The problem with that theory is that Tim’s been getting better recently, so there wouldn’t be much point. At least he thinks he’s been getting better. It’s difficult to tell sometimes.

Bruce has definitely been acting weird around him though, so maybe he isn’t getting better. Maybe Bruce spotted something Tim didn’t and he’s on the road to insanity.

“What do you want?” Bruce asks one day as they’re both working in the cave. Not Batman. Bruce.

It’s a far stupider question than it was when Barbara or Dick asked it. Bruce is the person who made Tim’s desires what they are. He’s the one who took Tim’s obsession and carved it into a goal.

“What?” Tim asks, loud and confused and maybe a little angry. “What do you mean ‘what do I want’? I want the mission! What else am I supposed to want?”

Bruce stays silent for a moment and Tim imagines him turning the words over in his head. “Nothing else?” Bruce asks. He sounds sad and it makes the anger drain from Tim’s body. “Just the mission?”

“I don’t need anything else.” Tim says hollowly.

Bruce just nods, thinking. It makes Tim want to scream even as satisfaction rises in his chest.

It’s always been a point of pride that he can to lie to Batman. He’s hardly going to change his mind about that now.

~

“People keep asking me what I want.” Tim says, sat on Bernard's bed. “I don’t like it.”

Bernard's turns away from the laptop on his desk so he can look at Tim. “You ever tell them the truth?”

Tim shrugs. He isn’t sure what else to do. “Ish?”

Bernard smiles. “Anyone ever tell you you’re impossible, Tim Drake?”

“Only everyone I’ve ever met.”

Bernard barks out a laugh before sobering up and looking at Tim with ill-disguised curiosity. “Do you want to tell me the truth about it? Or did you just want to say the thing out loud?”

“I’m not sure.” Tim admits, and he has to stop himself from acting taken aback by the fact he actually said that. Tim never says when he’s uncertain. There isn’t room for it. Bernard must know that too because he looks at Tim in surprise, then scoots his chair closer to the bed so that he and Tim are almost touching.

Bernard looks very cautious. “You know that’s okay, right?”

“I-“ Tim starts, because is it? Is uncertainty the kind of luxury he can afford? “I want to want things. But it feels like I’ve forgotten how.”

“You’ve had a rough couple of years.”

“How do you-“

Bernard smiles knowingly. “You’re not as hard to read as you think, Tim. Well you are. But it’s not difficult to tell that some bad things must have happened since I last saw you.”

“Yeah.” Tim says hoarsely, thinking back to the burn of his muscles as he dug up Kon’s grave, the stinging of desert sand in his eyes, the moment of confusion when he woke up in a league of assassins base unsure if he’d had to die to get there. “Yeah. Bad things happened.” He shakes himself a little, because those aren’t the thoughts he wants lingering. He focuses back on Bernard who’s closer than Tim had realised, worry creased between his eyes. “What about you?” Tim asks, trying to exert some measure of control over the conversation. “What do you want?”

“Thought we were talking about you?” Tim might have let it go with that if not for the note of nervousness in Bernard's voice and the red creeping up the back of his neck.

“We can talk about both of us.”

“It’s not important right now.”

Tim reaches out then. He takes Bernard's hand in his because Bernard makes him laugh and he looks so nervous and Tim wants to. Bernard looks down at their hands in surprise and Tim doesn’t actually feel worried. Just expectant that Bernard is going to squeeze their fingers together more securely. He does. “You sure?” Tim asks.

Bernard just looks at him. Mouth parted with shock. He seems to come back to himself though and his expression of surprise turns into something more confident. More familiar. “What if I wanted you?” he asks, hesitancy and confidence rolled into one voice.

“Give me some time to remember how to want things, and I think I’ll want that too.” Tim replies, just as unsure and utterly certain.

Bernard tangles their fingers together a little more firmly in response and Tim feels more hopeful than he has in a long time.