#but that’s kind of what it feels like
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i know there have been a million posts about this but i am thinking very very hard about the fact that tommy only calls buck “evan”
#he CANONICALLY DOESNT LIKE BEING CALLED EVAN#literally by anyone except maddie#did he introduce himself to tommy as evan?? i can’t imagine he did#and everyone else very clearly calls him buck#but tommy also calls chim ‘howie’ which like. to Me#is a way of showing that he doesn’t fully fit in with the 118#(and yes i know maddie also calls chim howie but she is his Wife and chim and tommy are not remotely that close)#and like. other than by maddie the only time anybody calls buck evan is when they’re pissed at him (chim for example)#or when it is a super serious moment (eddie’s will)#so for tommy to Only call buck evan. is extremely interesting#and to Me. kind of shows that he is disregarding his wishes on what he wants to be called#AGAIN JUST MY OPINION DONT COME FOR ME#i have not even seen past 7x04.#but that’s kind of what it feels like#911#buck
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mentor
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#gojo satoru#megumi fushiguro#jjk art#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#pulled another allnighter fr Angst's sake cries i havent slept.......but i couldnt help myself i was out all DAY i hadnt drawn all DAY#do u know what that does to a mf i felt all antsy and Wrong#so i cracked an energy drink i think i may have a problem honestly but hey at least u get ur daily dose of megumi angst#remember how i said i considered including gojo in the yuuji/tsumiki/megu squared train piece#well this is me making up fr Not including him there#i ws right his and megumi's relationship deserves its own homage smile :)#anyway @ anon who wanted a gojo/megumi hug.....ik it's not exactly a hug but you can forgive me im sure <3#dare i say it's better than hugs jeremy.....#honestly fr all my gripes w gojo i Did get kind of emo abt this?? but i feel like. the majority of my emotions r on megumi's behalf#also might have been the mukashi mukashi no kyou no boku on repeat that'll also do it#seriously debated putting translated lyrics as the caption but it feels like a copout doing 2 lyric-captions in a row#also i do have some shame. miku lyrics r a bit.#anyway art notes uhhhhh finally got gojo's hair to not look Yuuji#who knew the trick was to make it longer smh maybe sleep deprivation n 10 hours of staring at a screen Does make simple problems hard#oh file name 'proud of you' btw
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catalysts, protectors
#man those episodes#so many things put into perspective#like Simon’s role as a protector and his kindness and empathy and compassion and existence being the catalyst for the rest of ooo to#flourish#and Betty is a protector of Simon#I wonder if the last two episodes will explore more of her character? there’s so much to be explored about her giving so much of herself#to Simon but not thinking about what she wants for herself#do we get to explore her feelings or see her at all? will she have changed or learned to let go#I think there will be some sort of closure for the both of them#but at what cost#I am still crying over that scene with Simon’s memory of Betty and their song#my art#fionna and cake#fionna and cake spoilers#simon petrikov#betty grof#petrigrof#golbetty
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ref
a satisfactory answer for Selina
#bruce wayne#batman#selina kyle#catwoman#batcat#bruce#selina#mine#my art#i wanted to make the bat ears fold back SO badly but it looked too odd . unfortunately#wanted to put the collar ON HIM too but also it looked too out of place. SAD .#oh my GOD i forgot i could add IDs to these pictures now !!!#just finished adding that#i will see if i can do that for the other images i posted on this blog#anyway#thats her pookie bear.... her discord kitten...#who said that#this is what batcat is . to me . not that deep#just playful. selina gets to cause a little mischief whenever she wants and bruce gets be ouppy when he wants#thats just what the file names are LOL ouppy 1 2 and 3#in another post i may feel inclined to expand on it instead of in these tags#just know that there are very few people he would let restrain him and she is one of them. they just vibe like that.#younger bruce DOES follow her like a little duckling for these kinds of things. older bruce is too miserable to do fwb w anyone anymore#so they just enjoy each others company and reminiscence#mm. alot of tags for a shitpost.
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Video game I saw in a dream. It was in this low poly style like an older video game. You play as this character I think was meant to be a lamb, or maybe a weird mix of a lamb a mouse and a rabbit, (while not really looking like any of those things) and you’re running away from a wolf. Your objective is to last as long as possible before the wolf catches and eats you.
The house you’re running in is endless and bizarrely put together like most building interiors in dreams are (like the infinite toilet dream dimension on Reddit lol) the layout of the house is pretty detailed, you can stop and hide in places like closets or bins while the wolf looks for you, you can go up and down stairs and into rooms etc.
You never actually know where the wolf is or how close it is to you until it appears in your line of sight, it makes no noise and the game gives you no way of knowing where it is, and it’s pretty unpredictable it doesnt move at a consistent pace. When the wolf catches you there’s an animation showing it eating your character
#the actual animation of the wolf eating your character wasnt scary he kind of just cartoonishly swallows the character whole lol#the scary part is being pursued by him and never knowing how close he is#i remember being surprised when i first saw the game bc it was presented to me as#a fun addictive sort of game kinda like a mobile app game#and then i see it and its a horror game and the creators are just completely oblivious to it lmao#dream art#<- thats my tag for all my dream-inspired art#art#gif#photomanipulation#digital art#liminal#weirdcore#used a mix of ai photos and regular photos for this one#the ai stuff is sooooo good for recreating what a dream looks and feels like#but i didnt use it too much bc i wasnt able to get the specific photos i wanted :/#hmmmm this is vore isn’t it
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Brennan’s talked before about how as a poor young adult he lived in New York and struggled with food security. He tells a story of going to frozen yogurt places for free samples and a cheap dumpling spot because it was a lot of food.
His opinions on food and his described behaviours around food make a lot of sense in that context. He may be successful now and can be assured he can eat again when he’s hungry, but it appears he has legitimate trauma around his experiences with poverty because what he’s humorously describing is a trauma response. His mind hasn’t gotten rid of the anxiety of “I’m eating now so I better make it count because I don’t know when I will again.”
Because he’s a comedian he manages to frame it as a joke, but there’s certainly an underlying sadness. It also informs Evan Kelmp’s characterization. Capitalism is the root issue here and poverty is state-sanctioned economic abuse.
Anyway, I hope he’s doing well and taking care of himself.
#dimension 20#d20#gastronauts#brennan lee mulligan#evan kelmp#I don’t typically talk about the actors like this#because I don’t know them but I found this a striking through line#this is the kind of analysis I’d do for a character#but he’s a real person#but given what he’s said it feels cogent#and it feels important to note our favourite funny man had to struggle to eat#a lot of people do#and the harm that food insecurity inflicts is long lasting#that’s the message here#hey there centaurs
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That was actually a good deed, Jason.
Jason Todd walked over to Bruce Wayne scrolling through photos on his phone. He tapped the man on the shoulder.
Jason: You want baby pictures of Damian?
Bruce spat out his coffee in shock. Jason chuckled.
Jason: You have to pay me.
Bruce (frantic): You better not be lying to me because if you have baby pictures of him I will pay you whatever price you ask.
Jason: Um okay I have about 10 I can give you now so $10,000 for each one.
Bruce: Stay there, gotta get my phone and I'll transfer the funds to your bank account.
Bruce ran out of the room leaving Jason Todd with Alfred watching the entire interaction, impressed.
Alfred: Jason, how did you get baby pictures?
Jason: Remember, I knew about his existence before Bruce ever did. I visited the kid for the first 9 years before Bruce found out about him. Talia paid me to take photos of him for memories.
Alfred: That's very wholesome of you.
Jason (confused): I said Talia paid me.
Alfred: Money or not, you did a good deed. Now Master Bruce can have a few photos and trust me, he's been begging Talia for baby pictures for years. Be proud of yourself.
Jason smiled.
Jason: I appreciate you saying that.
Alfred: I mean every word of it. You're welcome.
#batfamily#batfamily chronicles#batman#jason todd#batfamily shenanigans#bruce wayne#talia and damian#damien and jason#damian wayne#batfamily headcanons#headcanon batfamily#batfamily wholesome#bruce paying jason for the pictures of his son is a headcanon I fully agree with#alfred pennyworth keeping the family together#alfred pennyworth#microfiction#batfamily comedy#script fic#batfamily fanfiction#batfamily feels#batdad#dc robin#batkids#jason todd and bruce wayne#jason todd can do good things#me depicting Jason doing something kind in my headcanon upset someone and it's like#i'm not sure what to tell haters like that I'm not depicting Jason as a weaker man#lol don't like don't read over sending hate but I know not everyone is like this#part of my batfamily flash fiction#flash fiction
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The fanfictions are infecting me with brainrot oh my god have some au doodles before I explode
#the fanon here hits different idk#like?? why is there so much vivisection#danny phantom#danny phantom fanart#danny fenton#danny fenton fanart#dp#dp fanart#this is like a#fully dead au#where no one knows#kind of thing#jazz fenton#bc I'm obsessed with their sibling dynamic#why are they on the roof pax#bc after Danny died jazz started stargazing as a way of feeling closer to him#fuck you#I have thoughts about this au actually#in it Jack and maddy are still trying to get rid of the ghosts but mostly as penance#bc they know the ghost portal is what killed Danny#and they want revenge#Danny's aware of this but convinced his parents wouldn't love him enough to believe him if he revealed himself as their son#jazz helps phantom without knowing he's Danny#pax art#pax doodles#pax rambling#technically#tho all the rambling is in the tags
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Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.
Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).
Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.
Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.
Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).
AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.
But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s
At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.
#mlp#yeah i wrote this last night during insomnia.#yeah i know an embarrassing amount of crap about this kids show#but whatever it's my hyperfixation i'll store as much useless information as i want!!!#i'm gay and neurodivergent i have an excuse#in case you needed more proof that aj's my favorite character#personal#delete later#unless you like this analysis stuff#i get why they didn't reveal aj's parent's death until way later and why they didn't do much with it but i wish they did#cuz narratively there could've been so much material with aj's grief. like. i feel like we gloss over the fact that she lost her#mother and father as a teenager#i tried keeping my personal hcs out of this to keep it unbiased#but i'll put some in the tags#involving rarijack –– i think aj can be (but not always) very self-conscious about her relationship with rarity#anxieties that she's not the right fit or that rarity will move away and leave her some day or that another woman will take her attention#(like in rollercoaster of friendship?? nudge nudge??). basic seperation anxiety stuff#long post#regarding applebloom whenever i think about her and her parents i think about that scene in steven universe where steven looks up at#a portrait of his mother and openly wonders what kind of sack lunches she would've made for him. that episode still fucks me up
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Being jurgen leitner the day that gerry almost killed him was probably really surreal. Imagine you’re minding your business, collecting fucked up books, and out of nowhere this goth guy covered in eye tattoos shows up and beats you half to death, then stops, goes, “no you’re too pathetic to be jurgen leitner” and leaves without further elaboration. And you dont correct him, you like being alive after all, and after that you just… continue with your life. And then several years later you tell this to some random guy in the tunnels you’ve been hiding in, and he not only knows who the goth was, but seems somewhat fond of the goth. And then you get brutal pipe murdered by the random guy’s boss. Oops
#the magnus archives#tma#jurgen leitner#gerry keay#jon sims#elias bouchard#on an unrelated note#i think leitner was probably of the eye if he was of any of the fears#the eye is kind of the perfect symbiote#plus i feel like going ‘oh hey cursed books. im gonna find more!’ is so eye coded#not that im saying eye avatars have poor self preservation instincts or anything#(this is exactly what im saying)#the motto of the eye should be ‘i fucked around and found out’#not that ‘audio opperior vigilo’ stuff
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I was talking to a coworker recently and offhandedly said I wasn’t exactly competent at a lot of things. He reared back in obvious visceral disagreement that made me stop midsentence.
“What do you mean you’re not competent?”
“I guess I mean compared to the people I’m surrounded by? I’m not very handy, I guess.”
He looked baffled.
I tried to illuminate with a story. So at the sex shop we needed to vacuum every night, right? But one time after my days off I could tell the carpets hadn’t been vacuumed since I last saw them. I asked the other girls why not. It turned out that the screw that held the handle on the vacuum had been stripped and it wouldn’t stay in. Why was that down to a single screw? Bad design.
So any attempt to vacuum meant the handle just popped off when the screw jumped ship. I looked over the vacuum. I found a junk drawer. I found the biggest screw I could that still fit in the hole wrapped it in tape to bulk it out. Then I shoved/screwed it in place. Then I duct taped the opening so that fucker couldn’t pop out. Voila, a working handle.
The other girls were utterly delighted that I’d fixed the vacuum but I was painfully aware that my solution was neither elegant nor long term.
My coworker listened. Finally he said, “I think being competent just means you have the ability to learn a skill you lack, and you can do that. Your solution worked, and you were the one that tried to fix the problem.”
I digested that and agreed, but admitted any new skill learned would prompt me to be a huge baby about it.
#ramblies#funny#writing#story#I think too there’s so many times I’ve failed basic stuff like- I can’t put air in my tires or change a flat#I can’t use tools to a high degree#and all my friends are total badasses who make stuff and know what they’re doing with their hands#so all my shoestring solutions feel like playtime#but technically I can usually come up with some kind of janky solution
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c. can i ask what's happening with idia during the whole tsum thing
Idia gets into a fistfight with his tsum and loses
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#tsumsted wonderland#i feel like i need some kind of signal to indicate when something is 100% actual canon with no exaggeration#because this really is just exactly what happens#idia gets physically bested by a beanbag and ends up on the floor wailing for ortho to save him#god i love tsumsted events#i was SO sad when there was no question mark after 'the end' this time :(#twst no we need staff tsums now#i need to see crowley versus a second smaller crowley#sigh. just one more week til we find out what happens at malleus' tsum party...
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corvidae
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#blood/#yuuji#im not tagging this as spoilers idc sue me . iykyk but i dont think it's obvious enough at all 2 warrant the tag#idrk what this is sorry ive been having a hard time drawing n feeling inspired lately :'>>> so it goes#i find i tend to default to drawing birds when that happens ???#did it with gojo did it with shiro and now it's yuuji's turn ig#sometimes it's helpful to just . mess around with a whole bunch of brushes until something looks ok#and birds and feathers lean soooo well 2 playing around w brushes theyre very forgiving#flowers also kind of so i threw in some camellias bc i figured why not add More Red#i think they mean something that's probably relevant but i was more looking fr the shape of the petals#th rounded tops blend rly seamlessly with the way i rendered th feathers so i am like!!!! nice#just checked also apparently red camellias just mean love and devotion lmao should have guessed#'perishing with grace' also hm hm hm that's kind of wild with th crows#anyway i didn't put too much thought in2 this one so i won't talk fr ages about the symbolism it's all pretty much right there#anyway ty fr being patient with me im sorry draws have been slow :<#ill come out of it ill bounce back!
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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Back at it with my enchanted merthur shenanigans
#when Merlin goes to work#(I am undecided on what he does but I think he does have a job (probably a librarian I’d that’s not TOO cliche…))#he sets Arthur up with a bunch of history books and documentaries to try get him up to date (as much as he can)#and in the evenings they watch all Merlin’s favourite tv shows and movies#I can’t pick what kinds of movies Merlin and Arthur like#I get the feeling they both like pride and prejudice but I’m also biased#I think Arthur would like murder mysteries#ALSO If anyone’s got any fics where Merlin introduces Arthur to modern society please please PLEASE GIVE THEM TO ME#my art#bbc merlin#merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur
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i have suddenly become obsessed with a theme that HoO established but never proceeded to extrapolate on, which is:
You are Percy Jackson, and you have been swapped with a boy who was allegedly everyone's favorite person, but they have decided to replace him with you. They just met you. You stand next to his best friend and the people he's known his entire life. In his home. In his cloak. In his place. They stopped looking for him.
You are Jason Grace, and you have just found out you have a long lost sister who completely replaced you in her life with this girl you just met. Your lives and personalities are mirrors. She is you, living the life you were robbed of.
You are Annabeth Chase, and you have just become starkly aware that you have been inhabiting the void left behind by your best friend's long lost brother. You and Luke were just replacements for him. Now you have to look him in the eyes when he has nothing and know you took that life from him.
You are Piper McLean, and you have just found out your relationship is fake and built entirely on the memories of Annabeth Chase. You have been given a boyfriend when hers has been taken away. You have no idea how much of it is real or not but regardless you feel like if your relationship isn't exactly in their image that you have failed.
You are Leo Valdez, and you have just learned that you are the echo of your great-grandfather. You are not your own person. You just exist to be a mirror of him. A doppelganger. An actor and stunt double facing all the danger he never had to but wearing his face. To be there for his best friend decades later simply because he couldn't. You are playing a role. A seventh wheel and a pawn for a goddess who carefully sculpted your entire life for her own purposes.
You are Hazel Levesque, and the only reason you are alive is because your brother couldn't save your his sister. You are a consolation prize. An apology. Your existence here is misplaced in every way but you inhabit it anyways.
You are Frank Zhang, and you are a shapeshifter. Inhabiting your own body feels strange and clumsy when you could be literally anything at any time. You are anything and everything and live your life with the simple certainty of knowing exactly how you will die.
#pjo#hoo#heroes of olympus#percy jackson#riordanverse#jason grace#annabeth chase#piper mclean#leo valdez#hazel levesque#frank zhang#meta#analysis#me shaking hoo: what if we actually address the interpersonal dynamics of the characters. please. please. please. please.#frank is the only person on the boat not having an identity crisis tied to another member of the crew somehow and that is FASCINATING#but also WHERE is all the interpersonal literally anything. hello. please. making grabby hands. everybody identity crisis go.#i wanna see the entire argo ii crew stumbling through trying to figure out their places and senses of self!!!!!#particularly in relation to each other!!!!! we get snippets but we rarely ever get the full thing or a resolution!!!#like. HELLO??? Piper acknowledging that her relationship with Jason is artificially sculpted in the image of Annabeth and Percy???#and that her ideals of what Jason and her can be are just that she feels like they need to be like what Percy and Annabeth have????#and thats just DROPPED COMPLETELY????#poor Jason is getting replaced twice. Leo is not his own person.#Hazel at least gets the resolution that Nico does not truly see her as a consolation prize#but Annabeth gets to be hit with the like EIGHT YEAR DELAY of learning the place she inhabits in Thalia's life is the echo of someone else#cause like. yeah she knew Thalia had lost her brother but i dont think it clicked for her until she met Jason that oh. she *replaced* him#Frank at least has some certainty about his identity in one aspect (his curse). everybody else is floundering a bit#except for maybe Percy but its kind of the camps of ''i replaced this person and it weighs on me'' versus ''i have been replaced''
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