#but that is a scene that y'all will have to wait for in it's entirety 😌🤌🏼🤭

[jaylaxies]

TO THE BOY: who was my rival

PAIRING: jay x fem!reader

GENRE/CW: smut, fluff, romance, angst, slight slowburn, mentions of thunderstorm, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), fingering, marking, creampie, hot tub sex, shower sex, choking kink, mentions of petnames (princess, doll, darling, baby), mentions of jaemin (nct), yeonjun, taehyun and beomgyu (txt), yeji (itzy), karina (aespa), lmk if i missed anything!

WORD COUNT: 27.6k (27617 words)

SYNOPSIS: You weren’t sure if luck was on your side when you repeatedly found yourself accompanied by your rival, Jay—a smart as well as humble guy, during the entirety of your university field trip. You witnessed new sides of him, but what you did not expect was to see him shirtless in the hot tub, looking effortlessly beautiful under the moonlight.

WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni

OTHER PARTS: part 1 and part 2

A/N: hihii my angels <3 i’m finally back with jay’s part of the series! i want to apologize for the long wait and i wanna thank you all for being so patient! also, thank you soo much for 9k followers <33 i hope y'all will enjoy this! :3 all likes, comments, reblogs and feedbacks are so highly appreciated! it keeps me motivated! iloveyou all <33

You had grown to hate the sound of your alarm.

Seoul was a city that never slept, always bustling with energy, filling people to the brim with new hopes and a promising future. 

For someone whose attention was solely on the betterment of oneself, you fit right into the crowd of ambitious students albeit the sudden change in your routines, having to be more independent now that you lived in the shared rented apartment near your university, not having it in you to live in the dorms even though they were plenty comfortable.

Taking up extra jobs at the nearby cafes only added to your already packed schedule. Not only did it provide you with extra cash, but also helped you escape your ever so present intrusive thoughts. It was your escapism from your past life, wanting to forget all about your heartbreaks and you were glad to see good results, the technique working out well for you. 

Huffing, you got up with a groan and dismissed your alarm. Getting up was not your favourite activity, rather, it was easier for you to stay up the night. Regardless, you got up and dragged yourself to shower, not having it in you to miss the first lecture, especially when the subject was a bit bothersome for you. 

The campus was lively despite it being early. A bunch of new faces around you made you feel slightly better, also stopping to look at the outfits of a few girls passing by, loving the colours of their jackets. 

The scene reminded you of your first day at the campus.

You remember how you looked like a lost puppy finding your way towards your department building. Thankfully, your teacher incharge had recognized your face, calling you over. Only then did you notice the presence of a tall person standing next to Mrs. Min, your eyes fixating on him to see his jawline and you swore it was one of the most attractive faces you had ever witnessed in your life. 

“Jay, come here for a second, meet Y/n,” your teacher, Mrs. Min had said, giving you the name of the stranger easily, and it suited his image well. 

You suddenly felt conscious under his gaze, it was sharp, just like his facial features. He was tall with the prettiest shade of melanin, you noticed he had a few piercings on his ears, which added to his already attractive personality.

He was intimidating until he smiled, eyes turning into pretty crescents as he extended his hand, “Nice to meet you, I’m Jay.”

His deep baritone surprised you, which was fairly warm and welcoming as well. And that’s when you decided to title him as the ‘prince’, prince because of how straight his posture was, as if he had gotten personal training to be neat and perfect. 

You smiled as softly as you could, back straightening as you held on to his hand, yours being smaller than his, and shook it firmly, “Hey, I’m Y/n, pleased to meet you.”

Mrs. Min smiled fondly at your interaction, “Y/n is new in the city, and would love some guidance from her fellow classmates. There is no one better to do it than you,” she spoke and he nodded, listening to her with a serious face. You gathered that Jay might have lurked around the campus before, hence he knew the professors already, “Please be kind enough to inform her about everything a student needs to know here.”

“Yes, ma’am. Don’t worry about her at all, I will guide her through the basics,” he spoke earnestly, bowing down and you followed him as professor Min left you alone with him.

“Uhm, you don’t have to do anything, really! But I’ll appreciate it if you show me the way towards the lecture halls,” you sheepishly spoke, his chuckle making you feel at ease. 

“I don’t mind helping you. When did you shift here?” he asked softly, walking by your side and you answered all his questions, asking him some as well. 

Your acquaintance lasted for two days before you met Yeji, she came to you like a ray of sunshine, you weren’t sure if you had seen a smile so contagious before her. Safe to say, she didn’t leave your side from that day when you gave her a spare pen during your class. 

Speaking of her, you turned around as you heard her voice calling out your name, “Can’t we miss our class today?” she groaned. She wasn't much of a morning person as well, prioritizing good sleep over studies, while also not getting enough sleep at night and complaining about it the very next day. 

“We can, if you want to fail cause we won't understand anything later,” you pointed out, walking straight.

“Why are you so diligent? Let's go to the cafe instead,” she pouted, eyes begging you silently. 

The cafe, it was the one Jay had told you about on the very first day, mentioning how they have the best coffee at the cheapest price, also a top secret place. However, you did end up telling Yeji and Karina about it, the place becoming your spot soon after. Not to mention how you ran into Jay a few times there, exchanging smiles as a greeting.

“Yeji, we can't,” you deadpanned, “Weren't you looking for a tutor anyways?”

“Ugh, I hate it when you're right.” 

The scene was definitely a lot different than what you had back in your hometown, everything felt new to you. A sense of comfort, however, always followed you around. The first two days it was Jay, after that, Yeji and Karina — they never left your side. Karina was born and raised in Seoul, giving her the perfect opportunity to be your travel guide, sorting the problems for you and Yeji both, who had also come from a different town.

You sat down in the middle row of the lecture hall, Karina soon joining you, holding coffees for you both. She was a darling indeed.

“God, I love you,” you hugged her while Yeji brokenly mumbled how she was gonna marry Rina. 

She giggled, opening her iPad which she used to take notes as all the students began pouring into the class.

One thing about your university was that it was full of rich students, rich students who got quality education from the day they landed on earth, and some just got in due to the heavy influence of the family money, donations and a lot more. 

This institution was your dream and priority, and so you didn't mind even though you didn't stick out in the middle of a crowd, but you were happy to know that your professors acknowledged your determination and hard work towards your academic goals. 

This year, you were hellbent on one thing — getting an internship at Phoenix Tech, knowing that one spot would be open for your university students to take up an internship while also continuing with your education. 

Which gets you back to the being rich part, the ones who had the money, got in their internships readily. But, you would have to secure your spot by your own efforts, earnestly.

You sighed, lost in your thoughts before looking up to pay attention to Karina, “What's your plan for today?” she asked, however, you were interrupted before you could answer.

“Y/n, good morning,” Jay greeted you with a smile, sitting directly in front of you as his friends took up the rest of the seats in that very row. 

“Hey,” you said slowly, “good morning,” you returned the smile before your eyes widened, courtesy of Yeji's kick. 

“Are you flirting right now?” she marvelled out loud.

“They always do this,” Karina gave her input, “he smiles everytime he sees her in the morning.”

Another thing about Jay was that he lived in the same apartment as you, a rented one, his door being right in front of yours. Just like you, he lived with one of his roommates, Taehyun.

“I'm sitting right here you guys,” you sighed, “and no, it's not like that.”

“Sure,” they both dragged out before professor Jung came into view, starting the class. He taught well, you'd agree, but a few concepts were hard to grasp in general, hence your undivided attention went to his teaching during the entirety of your lecture duration.

It passed by quickly, and you packed your stuff once the bell rang.

“Jay and,” he paused to look into a list he had in his hand, following up by taking your name, “Y/n, please stay back for a few minutes, I have something to discuss with you both.” 

You tilted your head, confused but nodded at your friends to go ahead, assuring them that you'll catch up soon. 

“I see you both have been doing exceptionally well in your subjects—” he spoke and you felt relieved, “—which reminds me to inform you about the internship applications all students submitted earlier,” that caught your attention, you looked at Jay to find him being just as curious as you, “congratulations, you both have been shortlisted to be the candidates for the same, one of you will be selected by the end of this semester, and will be informed about everything later.”

You bit the inside of your cheek as an attempt to hide your smile, “Thank you, professor! It means a lot to me!” you said, Jay following suit and expressing his gratitude to be selected for the same before you both bowed down together.

“Hey, congratulations,” Jay said once you were outside, holding on to your wrist to stop you.

The sweetness of the boy in front of you made the corner of your lips twitch up, “Congratulations, Jay. You've always been hardworking, you deserve this.”

He proceeded to smile, noticing how he was still holding your hand, he let go of it at once, embarrassed, “I truly wish you luck, I'll give my best, I hope you do too.”

That's when it hit you, Jay was your rival from the given moment, for, only one of you would be selected in the very end. 

Ever since that day, something had switched between you both, maybe it was only from your side but, you couldn't see Jay as the sweet neighbour anymore, he was your rival, no matter how sickly pretty his smile was, you couldn't let him win. 

“Why aren't you happy about it?” Yeji asked once she saw you sulking in your bedroom, she lived with you, and you'd admit that she was a great roommate, always respectful and an amazing friend.

“Because, it's a competition and I can't help but wonder what would happen if I don't get that internship?” 

“Hey! Don't degrade yourself like that. I believe in you, and you should too!” Yeji more or less scolded.

“I just,” you gulped, “want a good future ahead of me,” a sigh left your mouth.

That had grown to be your life motto, and in all honesty, you liked this plan, wanting to stick to it. Yeji pulled you in a hug, patting your back gently. She knew all about your past breakups, and hence, your constant will to move on and become independent enough to not want anyone else. 

You knew that love was a void which feels like home when filled to brim, but, somewhere deep inside of you, laid a strange fear in the form of avoidance. Your safety walls are higher now.

You excused yourself, “I'll be out on the terrace, I need a bit of fresh air.”

Yeji let you go with an encouraging smile, not before taking out a chocolate from her pocket, pretending as if she got it using magic, getting a good chuckle out of you. 

You didn't mind going there in your shorts, the night atmosphere blessed you with a cool breeze, you could feel the winter approaching at a slow pace. The place wasn't silent per se, but it was peaceful enough to lie down on a mattress, peaceful enough to let go of your worries for a while, watching the stars in the sky, trying to make a pattern out of it. 

However, you didn't bring your mattress with you, settling to watch the sky with a craned neck, empty by chase atlantic blasting in your earphones in a soothing manner. Closing your eyes, you let your body absorb the coolness of the air.

Your moment of peace soon came to an end when you felt the warmth of a hand on your shoulder, eyes opening in a panic and neck twisting to see who it was with a hand on your chest, right above your heart.

Park Jay. The one you've been thinking about the whole day. 

“Fancy seeing you here,” he smiled, joining you without any invitation.

“You scared me!” you spoke up, looking at him with an accusatory glare. 

He chuckled, stuffing his hands in his sweatpants pocket, “I'm sorry, I honestly rarely ever see anyone coming up here so, yeah, I didn't want to disturb you. I can leave if you'd want that.”

Ever so respectful.

“No, no! It's fine,” you shook your head, looking up at him in the dim light, his eyes sparkling and a shadow of his curved lips was on display.

“What are you thinking about?” his question came out soft.

You didn't answer, voicing out another thought of yours instead, “I just realized that we never really talked to each other, other than the greetings, of course.”

“So, you were thinking about me?” he teased, bending to your eye level.

Now, that was something he had never done before, nor did you ever see him flirting with anyone else, the statement catching you off guard as you hit his shoulder at the absurd thought, only to come in contact with his muscle, which further render you speechless, “Sure, I have nothing better to do anyway.”

He snorted, “Yeah? What do you think about then?” he asked, coming closer.

You stepped back almost instantly, “Why do you wish to know that?” 

“Because, like you said, we never really talked before this conversation,” he shrugged, “and maybe I want to get to know you better.”

Your cheeks heated up despite the cold wind outside.

“It’s nothing,” you squeaked, “Just have been thinking about the internship, I guess.”

“Worried about it? Don’t be. You're more than capable of getting selected. You were shortlisted for a reason, Y/n.” His words were sincere, which only made you feel worse since you have been restless thinking about him being the one who gets it. 

“You're being so nice about it. Do—do you not see me as a rival then?” you were hesitant while asking. 

“Of course I do! You're my rival, but that does not mean I'll despise you for it. We'll be taking it as a friendly competition, won’t we?” he asked, staring deep into your eyes, and you swear you noticed him gulp down before he extended his arm for you to shake.

“Yeah,” you shook his hand firmly, just like the very first day you had met him, “but I’ll win this, Park,” you spoke as a whisper into his ear.

Competitions are hardly ever friendly. 

It wasn’t a threat, it was something playful that came out of your mouth, like a promise that would lead to more interactions between you both.

“I’m amused, I must say that,” he bit his lip, suddenly grabbing your waist and pulling you closer as you let out a yelp, his voice coming out deeper as he spoke into your ear, “Game on.”

The exchange from that night was quick to carve itself into your memory. You fiddled with the rings on your fingers as you remember how he stroked your cheek slightly, leaving you alone with a smirk right after he said that. Your whole body felt warm and you rushed back to your room, making sure that Jay had reached his own room first.

Him living in the apartment room just across yours from the corridor made it easy for him to run into you. 

“Do you need a ride?” he asked you, once he saw Yeji locking your door, him and Taehyun coming out at the same time. 

“Yes, please!” she groaned, answering in your place, not wanting to walk all the way to the campus, as she dragged you along with her. 

You smiled at how enthusiastically Yeji talked to them both while you sat quietly, staring at the surroundings outside. The ride wasn't long, barely ten minutes at maximum. 

“You don't talk much, do you?” Jay asked once you were out and walking towards your lecture room, Yeji engrossed in a conversation about aliens with Taehyun, “but, you were talkative that night.” 

You looked at him, “Shut up! That does not sound appropriate!” you whisper.

“Sounds pretty appropriate to me, unless you're thinking about something else,” he wiggled his brows and you pushed him away, walking faster.

To say that Jay had started to acknowledge your presence would be an understatement. You found yourself around him a lot more, and it was purely based on your luck — you weren’t sure if you should call it that. 

He was the first one who rushed to your sitting area after getting the class tests back, always comparing the answers as he went through your sheets with a concentrated pout on his face, while you used to snatch his sheets just to make sure that you had a better score, even by a mark. 

Your ever so friendly competition went on for a good while before your friend groups merged, which caused you to sit down with the four most popular boys of your major — Jay, Taehyun, Yeonjun and Beomgyu. The latter two being the rich ones, and they showed it off well.

People wanted to know how you managed to become friends with the four, when in reality you only knew Jay and Taehyun, your friends being more social and befriending the other two as well.

“I have a good feeling about today,” Karina spoke up, sipping on her iced americano.

“Right? I just have this feeling deep inside of me that we'll be getting good news today!” Gyu spoke up with enthusiasm.

“Well, duh. Don't you guys know what time of the year it is?” Yeji asked with raised brow and you simply looked at your side, only to find Tae being as lost as you.

“Oh! It's the yearly excursion time!” Yeonjun more or less screamed, and you took note of how energetic he was on a daily basis.

“I've heard about those. It's mostly a around three to four days long and they make us visit museums and other such places, however, the resort is talk worthy.” 

You turned your head at Jay's input. You most certainly did not know about all that, but you weren't against the idea either, a break was something you'd been wishing upon for a while, an educational trip would provide you just that. 

“Is it free of cost?” you tilted your head, curious. 

“I don't think so, the amount must be very low since the attendance was a hundred percent the last year,” Karina answered.

“But then again, the uni is full of rich students so you never know,” Yeji spoke up and you nodded. 

The recess bell rang at that very moment, causing your conversation to end and for everyone to head to their respective lecture rooms. 

You waved over to Karina, saving the seat next you for her, however, Jay was quicker than her, sitting down next to you with a charming smile on his face. It was as if he knew that him being around would bother you, even more so now that he had gotten a better score than you on a test, it only amused him further with how you had been acting around him lately. 

“Why are you here?” You asked, brows raised. 

“To get a clearer view of the board,” he smiled teasingly. 

“Yeah, like shifting back one row changes a thing,” you smiled back, voice equally sweet. 

He looked deep into your eyes, “it does,” he spoke up, seeming genuine in a manner, however, you couldn’t reply as your professor had started speaking. 

“So,” he stretched out, having a rather jolly mood today, “who’s ready for the yearly college trip?” He asked. 

A roar of cheers were heard, you joined your classmates while doing so, excited to hear more about it. He had a sheet in his hands, which he waved to silence the class before speaking up again. 

“Now, our department will be visiting a town, it’ll take a day for you guys to reach there, the transport medium will be a bus. Oh, I think you guys will love to hear that the resort we’ll be staying at is rated to be the best one in the state,” he announced. 

You looked at Yeji, impressed with their choices as your professor went out announcing what all museums and institutions you’ll be visiting throughout your stay there, including a day full of fun where you would be going to the beach and the areas nearby. 

He was then quick to circulate the forms requiring your signature and informing you of the amount of the money you had to pay for the trip, which was decent in your opinion. You read the whole two pages full of information, also thinking that you could easily earn a bit more cash if you take up a part time job at a nearby cafe or a convenience store. 

The trip was scheduled to take place in a month, and you couldn’t be more excited. You knew your friends were just as thrilled once you saw them chattering happily, already making plans to visit malls for shopping. 

“You coming?” Jay asked, pointing at the sheet. 

“I guess I am,” you smiled softly, which he returned, “and you?” 

“If you are, then yes.” He laughed once you looked at him in disbelief, wanting it to be a normal conversation for once. 

“Obsessed with me, are you?” 

“You know what they say about keeping your friends close—” he started, making you raise your brows, “—but keeping your enemies closer?”

That caught your attention enough for you to turn and face him clearly, the corner of your lips twitching upwards. 

“So you admit that I’m a threat to you?” 

“What if I say yes?” He replied. 

“Aw, and here I thought you were too good of a boy to admit that,” you teased, his eyes widening. 

“A what?” He asked again, this time raising his own eyebrows. 

“A good boy,” you confirmed, booping his nose. 

Never in your wildest dreams had you thought of calling anyone that, however, the light blush and silence from the boy next to you made it certainly better. 

If there wasn’t enough Jay in your life already, Yeji further made it her task to contribute more to it, inviting Taehyun and Jay over to your place for a pizza night between the neighbours and friends.

“Shocked to see you here, devoid of books at that.” Those were the first words he said as soon as he saw you sitting cross legged on your couch, scrolling through your Instagram, lazily double tapping the posts you found amusing. 

You blinked at him twice before returning to look at your phone, opting to ignore his comment which implied that you had no life other than studying. 

Soon enough, Karina, Yeonjun and Gyu made their appearances at your apartment, getting comfortable around on the couches while the pizza was on its way. 

“Oh my god, I know exactly what to watch today,” Gyu said with a mischievous grin, eyes on Jay, “a horror movie.” 

You agreed quickly, horror movies were something you loved to watch, it was as if you had grown immune to being scared of these made up creatures, it was fun to watch movies with different storylines nevertheless. 

Everyone had agreed to it in no time, trying to find a good movie on Netflix, everyone but the guy sitting next to you. 

“Y/n,” Taehyun called out your name, and you turned your head to look at him, “take care of Jay, he’s scared of horror movies,” he whispered in your ear and you refrained yourself from snorting out a laugh. 

You turned to glance at Jay, he looked unsettled, obviously despising the genre of the movie everyone had so cheerily selected. Somehow, you could now feel the proximity of your bodies, his arm almost touching yours and his breathing laboured. 

It wasn’t as if you had completely shut out boys from your life, but you didn’t exactly let anyone get close to you after breaking up with Sunghoon, and right now, you could only think about how close Jay was to you. 

He pulled up the blanket whenever a jump scare came up, surprising you. You never pegged him to be a scaredy-cat.

The situation would have been comical if you hadn’t paid attention to his shaking hands. 

“Jay,” you whispered, capturing his attention, “are you alright?” You asked, concerned. 

You weren’t close to each other by any means so you couldn’t hold his hand to stop him from shaking but distracting him seemed to be the best idea you got on the spot. 

He gulped, looking down at his hands which were resting on his lap before looking up at you and nodding, trying to keep his composure. 

He didn’t want to seem like a loser who’s scared of horror movies. 

You tried to put on a comforting smile for him, pointing to his phone as you texted him asking if he wanted to get out of here. 

The nervousness was clear in his eyes, and at that moment you realized that Jay was just a soft boy who tried to act tough. Girls at university gushed about how he was both smart and hot. His appearance was crisp and tidy during the lectures, in contrast to the outfits he sported off campus, wearing black and bold fits which made him look intimidating. 

Instead of waiting for his reply, you suddenly announced,  “guys, I’ll be back soon, my head hurts and we don’t have any medicines anymore,” you stated, getting up, letting them know that you’ll be going to a nearby pharmacy. 

Yeonjun frowned, “you shouldn’t go out alone this late at night,” he said, worried. 

You nudged Jay by your elbow to subtly ask him to speak up. 

“Hey, I think we have meds at our apartment, I’ll get you some,” he offered, his eyes shining with gratitude. 

“Really? Thanks, Jay, I’ll just be in my room till then,” you pointed at the door which led to your room and he left soon, getting into his apartment, which was easy as he lived in front of your apartment in the same building. 

He sighed, breathing deeply as he tried not to think about what happened at your place. Many people found it funny for him to be scared of horror movies and he laughed it out, but it wasn’t a joke to him. 

It took him four minutes to calm his nerves before going to your apartment, not looking at the movie playing in the living room, heading straight for your room with medicine in his hand, knocking at your door. 

“Oh, you didn’t have to come back,” you softly said as you allowed him in your room. 

He smiled lightly as he showed you the medicine in his hand, “I had to be a good neighbour and get you this,” he joked. 

The atmosphere was not short of awkwardness, he rubbed his nape as he tried to form sentences.

“I—thank you,” he let out, “it just gets too much at times, I know it’s almost stupid to be scared of horror movies but, I’m really glad you helped me out, despite us being rivals and everything,” he ended his note of gratitude with a tinge of humour. 

The corner of your lips lifted up and you were surprised, having a normal civil conversation with him was something you could never do, you were too busy studying, checking answers and discussing your tests, that’s all you talked about to him. Other than that, the random remarks he let out consisted of teasing and bothering you. 

This was new. 

“Don’t go all sappy on me now, Park,” you said as you noticed his eyes wandering around your room, noticing the posters on your wall and the random books opened and sprawled on your bed. 

“It’s okay to say no if you don’t like certain things, everyone out there is your friend and I’m sure they’d understand if you tell them that it actually bothers you,” you said, hoping you weren’t crossing his boundaries. 

“Everyone out there is my friend, huh? Does that include you too?” He asked smoothly, not wanting to talk about this anymore, it only embarrassed him. 

You were quick to raise your brows, “I clearly remember you saying this one particular line which goes—keep your friends close but your enemies closer,” you say, turning around to sit down on your study desk, trying to get your focus back on the worksheet you were solving. 

“If that’s what you want, love. I’ll keep you closer then.” He had a satisfactory expression on his face when he saw you looking back at him with a face that screamed speechless. 

With that, he gave your head a soft pat as he left the medicine on your desk. 

The sudden opening of the door almost gave you a heart attack, your hand on your chest as you looked back to see Yeji and Taehyun coming inside, asking if you’re okay. 

“Don’t tell me you guys missed the movie to study,” Yeji deadpanned, looking at the worksheet you were solving. 

That seemed to be the most perfect excuse for Jay not being there so you both went along with it, knowing it would be better if they didn’t know about how Jay was simply teasing you again. 

“I hope you feel better soon, Y/n, and please rest sometime instead of studying, that’s what’s killing your head,” Tae stated, saying good night to you. 

“Good night, enemy,” Jay smirked, winking before getting out of your room. 

“What’s gotten into him?” You asked no one but yourself, wondering why your heart was still beating fast. 

Taking Taehyun’s advice into consideration, you opted to sleep instead of studying tonight. You knew that sleep could take your mind off Jay, and you were willing to try it out. 

Perhaps Yeji was right about you not having any fun and you contemplated if being at a random party, hooking up with guys would make you any more confident, but it was given that you were being too closed up in your little bubble. 

It was something you hadn’t bothered to pay attention to until now, realizing that your whole day depended on the presence of the same people you met each day. 

The thoughts of you drifting away from reality and not having the sense of enjoyment and fulfilment bothered you the next day, Karina and Yeji looked at you with worried eyes. 

“Trust me girl, you need to get out for once, come to the party with us!” They urged. 

You sighed, your lower lip bitten as you contemplated, “fine, but you have to stay with me,” you said, causing them to shriek out an excited cheer. 

They talked about how it was really convenient that the party was being held at Yeonjun’s place, and that his parties were the best in the whole university, meaning, you would have to dress up to a next level. 

Even though you had devoted the past few months of your life to studies, it did not mean that you were out of loop when it came to fashion and dressing up. 

You really enjoyed your time while getting ready with the girls, who almost threw a fit, complaining about how they cannot find the right dress for themselves. While Yeji helped you do your hair, your mind subconsciously drifted into wondering whether a certain guy would also be at the party. You couldn’t lie, his sense of fashion was immaculate as it was, but you wondered if it could get any better than that. 

“All done!” Yeji’s voice snapped you out of your trance, and you groaned, wanting him out of your head, which seemed impossible as the events of yesterday kept on replaying in your mind. 

Looking into the mirror, you smiled softly. It had been a while since you had dressed up and genuinely put in effort for your makeup and hair. Ultimately, it paid off. 

“My princess, you look so hot right now,” Yeji purred, her shameless eyes checking you out teasingly, causing you to laugh. 

“Well kitten, we’ll have to miss the party if you keep on saying such stuff.” You winked as Karina watched you two in disbelief. 

“So what, no one’s gonna flirt with me?” She gasped, twirling around in her short, two toned dress which accentuated her figure. 

That was Yeji’s cue to push Karina against the wall and place a sloppy kiss on her cheek, causing her to whine out a complaint and for you both to laugh your hearts out. 

The act was enough for Karina to drag you and Yeji out and finally leave for the party, it was highly convenient that she had a driver who was willing to wait for you all so you won’t have to call a cab back home all drunk. 

Not that you were planning to drink a lot, maybe a glass or two, since the aftermath of being drunk wasn’t something you were ready to face. 

And neither were you ready to face Park Jay in a cream coloured silk shirt with the top two buttons opened, revealing his toned chest along with his defined clavicle, a dainty necklace gracing his neck, the pendant resting right above his sternum. 

A minute had passed since you entered the last mansion of Yeonjun, arm in arm with your girl friends, that’s the exact second you saw him. You met Jay on a frequent basis, however, you had never once seen him in his true element.

That outfit was made for him, the black pants and silver rings adorning his fingers completed the look, hair parted and styled in a way to display his forehead, his usual specs missing and to top it all, it was absolutely mesmerizing how he swayed his body to the beat, dancing with his friend group. 

Even you couldn’t deny that he looked ravishing. 

You shook your head the second you realized that you had been staring his way, gulping down your anxiety as you three walked towards the boys. 

You took a second looking around his place, the bustling excitement of the ones entering the party, the cheers of everyone dancing, gossiping and making out in each corner, the deep scent of alcohol lingering in the air and a group of people playing beer pong at the farthest end of the kitchen. 

The smell of alcohol suddenly left your system as the scent of an expensive perfume infiltrated your senses, almost intoxicating your body. You turned to your right to see that you had now reached the place where Jay, Yeonjun, Beomgyu and Taehyun were previously dancing, and currently greeting you all, you being quick to smile at them. 

However the scent belonged to no other than Jay, who stood right by your side, eyes widening and double taking when he realized that it was you indeed, almost as if he couldn’t believe that you’d leave your room and study for a party. He was staring so intensely, it gave you goosebumps, your will not being strong enough to look up at him. 

At that very moment, Yeonjun took your name in delight, mouth open in surprise seeing you at his party. Being the friendliest person to exist, he didn’t think twice before pulling you towards his taller frame and giving you a hug full of happiness, making you laugh and pat his back in return. 

Through this whole process, Jay’s eyes didn’t flicker away from you even once. 

If Yeonjun was friendly, then Taehyun was respectful, he gave you a high five as the former spoke up about how you look beautiful, causing a shy smile to grace your face. Beomgyu was the epitome of shamelessness, his goofy smirk was enough to make you laugh. 

“You look so hot, baby,” he said, twirling a strand of your hair between his fingers. This caused a loud smack to land on his back, a yelp leaving his mouth as Karina watched him, amused, “stop flirting with her you idiot.” 

All the greetings were exchanged, however, you didn’t look at Jay even once, mentally saying it was for your own betterment. 

“Uhm, Yeonjun,” you said, grabbing his attention, “I’m thirsty, where’s water?” You asked, seeing how the kitchen was full of booze with no sign of water. 

He nodded, pointing at the back area of the room, where you saw boxes full of water bottles, you excused yourself and slowly made your way towards that area, making sure not to bump into dancing bodies that overpowered the room. 

Grabbing one bottle from the box, you uncapped it and gulped the water down, till you realized that someone was standing right beside you, your hand twisting the cap back on the bottle and turning to look at him, almost missing how a drunk guy was accidentally going your way. 

Within a second, a big hand encased your waist and pulled you into his chest, almost bumping you, timely saving you from being crashed into the drunken guy. 

“You alright?” Jay asked, face full of concern and you looked at him, gulping when you comprehended the situation. 

“Oh, yes. I’m good, thank you,” you spoke out, causing his expression to turn into one full of amusement. 

Your eyes averted away from his exposed chest, soothing out your little dress which also showed a generous amount of skin, your heart suddenly beating faster than usual. 

He bit his lip, eyes seemingly sharper than ever before a lazy smile took over his lips, “why? No greetings, no hugs for your enemy?” He asked, referring to the big hug Yeonjun had sheathed you in. 

“Why? You wanted one?” You asked, finally looking up at him, trying your hardest not to let your eyes waver. 

He leaned closer, “of course, darling, I was waiting for one,” he said, confidence never once faltering. 

“Don’t call me that,” you let out, cheeks heating up. 

His face shone under the dim lights, giving you the uncalled opportunity to observe his features more intimately, it was the first time you noticed him having a conch piercing. 

“Fair enough, then what do I call you? Princess? Sweetheart? Kitten? Doll?” He listed out, making sure to raise his one eyebrow while he did so, his voice getting generously deeper with each word. 

“I—” you were rendered speechless with the height of his shamelessness tonight, shaking your head and walking away from him, yet he was faster to grab your arm and spin you around, closer to him again. 

The coldness of his rings juxtaposed his warm hands, sending a wave of shiver down your spine, your eyes met his dark ones that stared at you with such intensity. 

It didn’t last long as a laugh bubbled up Jay’s throat, lips stretching into a smile while he took a second to chuckle at your shocked state, causing you to finally breathe at your realization. 

It was simply a joke from his side. 

A joke that efficiently resulted in you being flustered and concerned at his behaviour, but of course, he most definitely would not flirt with you on purpose. 

You scoffed, “you’re insufferable.”

“C’mon, it’s so fun to tease you,” he smiled, eyes shining even more when he saw you pout unconsciously. 

“Haha so fun,” you muttered dryly, wondering if you should have just studied back at your apartment instead. 

He found it endearing, reaching his hand out to tuck a loose strand of your hair at the back of your ear, “you look really pretty tonight, Y/n,” he said, catching you off guard. 

Regardless of his jokes from before, his face displayed earnestness, “you should come out more often, everyone loves having you around,” he spoke up. 

You gulped, “that’s sweet of you to say, thanks, Jay.” You looked around, really not being able to hold eye contact with him, especially when he looked like an alluring piece of meat. 

It was as if you both were not present in the party, simply talking in a secluded area, it made you acknowledge the fact that you had to get back to your friends. 

Not to mention, you had to save yourself from Jay’s comments which were not offering much to help your poor heart.

“I think I should look for others,” you awkwardly let out. 

“If you think I’m letting you go without getting my hug then you’re wrong,” he spoke up, brows raised in expectation. 

You sighed, stepping closer to him, his scent engulfing you as his strong arms wrapped around your waist and your body felt as if it was burning. 

Your cheek rested on his chest as he bent down slightly to whisper, “welcome to the party, love.”

As if his other sentences weren’t enough, he just had to drop a last one to render you speechless. 

With that, he dropped his hand, letting you go in search of your friends with a slight smile on his face, causing you to walk away faster, but before you could walk away far, you turned back to see him touching his face and fanning it, making you wonder if he felt stuffy. 

You tried to find Karina, only to see her being indulged in a deep conversation with the guy she had mentioned she found cute, so you didn’t wish to disturb her, as for Yeji, you spotted her in the kitchen, making out with someone you didn’t know, again, leaving you to fend for yourself through the party. 

You walked towards the kitchen, grabbing a fresh red cup and pouring beer into it, just then a voice calling your name captured your attention. 

“Y/n,” he spoke up. 

Na Jaemin, he was one of the new students in your major, he was also the student your professor assigned you to look after as he was new and would require help from the students who are good and his subject. 

He sported a black button up with jeans, his arms looking buff in his outfit. 

“You look beautiful,” he smiled, showing his perfect set of pearls, which made you smile back at him, shyly, “hang out with us?” He asked, pointing at his friends. 

“Thank you, I would love to do that really, but I think I need a little air right now,” you softly explained and he nodded, telling you that he’d be there in case you wished to join them. 

The slight breeze paired with the luminous stars automatically made you want to get out of the hall, and nearby the pool area, where you settled down on a chair near the empty picnic table. 

It felt surreal, you were so far away from your family, actually investing your time and trying your hardest to do well in university. You missed them, and you missed being with someone who’d show you love and care. 

On the other hand, you were scared of falling for someone again. 

You took a sip of your drink, staring at the illuminated pool water, it looked cold. Your right leg started shaking involuntarily, a sign of anxiousness as you spiralled into intrusive thoughts again.

But not for long, as you turned to see Jay sitting down next to you. 

“Do you know stalking is a crime?” You asked, finally looking at him, maybe it was the alcohol which gave you confidence to do so. 

“And so is sitting alone at a party,” he said, not missing a beat. 

You sighed, “it’s just pretty out here, and it lacks a myriad of sweaty bodies, of course,” you chuckled. 

“What are you thinking about?” He asked, seeing your leg shaking, his warm hand coming to rest on your knee, sending a wave of shock through you. 

You looked at his hand and then up at him, “I was thinking of home,” you told him after a minute. 

“Do you miss it?” He asked softly. 

You wondered how he switched from being flirty to soft so seamlessly, you bickered with him yet it was always playful. He called you his enemy yet it was just a playful attempt to befriend you. 

You were just friendly rivals in the end, and it was slightly hard to tolerate him, but you managed, and so you told him. 

“I do at times, but at the same time I’m glad to be learning to be independent and trying my best to do better in life,” you mumbled, “I’m also really sleepy,” you let out, making him laugh softly. 

“I’m gonna head back to the apartment actually, I can take you along if you’d like that,” he offered and you frowned. 

“Why are you going back so early?” You asked, frowning. 

“I’ve been hanging around his place the whole day so I can’t exactly say that it’s early,” he explained and you nodded, texting your friends to let them know you’re heading back. 

It wasn’t as if you didn’t like it there, you simply had to prepare yourself for the first day of your part time job at the convenience store tomorrow, so you decided to catch up on sleep. 

Jay guided you towards his car and it was the first time you sat gunshot, Jay leaned forward towards your side, face close to yours as your breath hitched, “here,” he said, putting on your seatbelt for you. 

You lost count of the times your heartbeat rose tonight, you silently cursed yourself for falling for his tricks, reminding yourself that it’s nothing but a friendly gesture. 

Midway your ride back, your eyes closed as you drifted into slumber. 

Jay looked your way, a small smile on his face when he saw you asleep. He made sure not to turn on music or talk as he knew you felt sleepy. 

He parked his car, looking your way for a second longer than usual, noticing how you did your eye liner differently for the night before he shook his head and woke you up, letting you know that you had reached the apartment. 

“Good night, Jay,” you smiled at him, not forgetting to thank him for the ride, to which he smiled back. 

“Good night, love,” he whispered as you got in your apartment and shut the door. 

He simply couldn’t understand why he felt happy, it was a normal day for him. Maybe teasing you does make it better for him. 

You on the other hand were relieved that you’d get to sleep and you’d be able to escape the devil for a while.

What you didn’t know was that he won’t leave you alone even in your sleep. 

The trip was two weeks away and it was finally something you were looking forward to after a long time, knowing that you would be going to the beach which was near the resort as given in the itinerary, which was provided to everyone today. 

You loved beaches, the fact that land and water met to form such a beautiful scenery was enough to make you adore it. 

Leaving the university as soon as the classes got over, you reached the confectionary store near your apartment for the first day of your job. The timings were flexible too as you would have to work after your classes ended and till 10 PM at night. 

Your coworker taught you the basics of handling everything, it was rush hour around the time you started working but it got slower by the time you were finishing your job. 

“Welcome,” you greeted as you heard the door open, it was something you had to do upon the arrival of customers. 

What you didn’t expect was to see Jay there, looking right at you in surprise and you couldn’t do much but cry at your luck. He was everywhere. 

“Since when do you work here?”  He asked, grabbing some energy drinks and lollipops. 

“I started today,” you told him, biting your lip when you saw two high school girls giggling, looking at him. 

Irritating. 

“Ah, that’s why I haven’t seen you around,” he hummed, paying for his things, his fingers brushing against yours as he handed you the money. 

“Are you a regular here?” You asked nonchalantly, wondering if you’d have to run into him daily for the next two weeks. 

“Why? Want to get rid of me that fast?” He leaned on the counter, looking at you with a teasing smile, “is that how you treat the ones who help you?” He asked, referring to last night when he drove you back. 

You rolled your eyes, “yes, you can leave now, sir,” you fake smiled, amusing him yet again. 

He placed one lollipop in front of you, “don’t stay here too late, and to answer your question, yes I’m a regular,” he spoke up, exiting the shop with a wink. 

You gulped down, looking at the lollipop and groaning, if he kept doing this then you’ll be in deep trouble. Jay walked back home with a satisfied smile on his face. He, in fact, had never visited that store before, being a regular was a lie. 

However, he sure had a reason to be a regular now. 

It wasn’t a lie when Jay told you he would come back, because he did. Each day.  

You didn’t think he would come back the next day, but he was there, right at 9 PM, just like a day before, but this time he sat down and had noodles, it wasn’t as bothersome as the store was empty and he readily discussed the test paper with you. 

Another thing you noticed about him was that he pouted in concentration, which made you smile at his adorable habit. Discussing study topics was the only time you both were civil and serious with each other. 

And yet again, he left a candy for you to eat for the night. 

You were not sure what Jay was up to, but you unconsciously started looking forward to seeing him in the store. With two exams left, you did not expect Jay to come to the store as you assumed that he would study at home, yet he kept his promise and came to buy a few energy drinks, settling down and studying for a while there itself. 

It made you wonder how he was so committed to coming to this place each day. He did see that you were busy tending to the customers, while also having a book in front of you at the counter. 

You were having difficulties understanding this one topic and you asked Jay for help, who despite being your rival, provided you with flash cards and his notes, staying till ten while studying with you. 

It felt normal to have him around the store, you barely realized that one week had already passed by, and in a week, you were going to give your last exam for the semester and leave for the trip on the next day, Jay had searched all about that place and made sure to tell you about the famous delicacies and tourist attractions. 

Keeping that as motivation in your mind, you answered the questions Jay asked you as practice while you were closing the shop, “here’s the last one,” he said, asking you the question. 

Your face lit up with realization and you answered it in a beat, causing his smile to grow along with yours, you jumped as he told you how each one of your answers were correct and before you could stop yourself, you were hugging him. 

He freezed, not expecting a hug from you but reciprocated it almost instantly, his heart skipping a beat without him realizing it. The smile was still evident on your face when you broke the hug, “fuck! Sorry I got too excited,” you apologized sheepishly. 

It was rare to see you express your emotions so freely, you were always timid and shy around everyone, but he was glad to see you come out of your shell slowly. He also noticed that you shook your leg less while attending the customers, overcoming your anxiety. 

You walked back to your apartment together after you closed the shop, still discussing the exam for tomorrow. 

“Listen, Jay,” you called out his name before he got inside the door. 

You were quick to take out a lollipop from your bag and place it in his hand, smiling and saying, “thank you for today, good night, I know you will do amazing tomorrow,” you assured him and got inside your apartment before he could reply. 

He bit his lower lip to contain his smile as he stared at the lollipop in his hand. In little time, he got used to spending time around you, however it was the first time that you had looked so happy around him, not to mention that you gave him a lollipop too. 

He definitely had to do well in the exam now. 

The cafeteria was bustling with excited chatter from the student body, half of which indulged in discussing about the exam that ended a few minutes ago, the other half cheered about the upcoming trip, it’s planning and looking forward to it. 

Majority of the students opted not to think about the last exam for now, and your group was the one which indulged in the latter conversation. 

Karina had planned everything, she would pick you and Yeji tomorrow morning for a shopping spree so you won’t have to miss your part time shift, and you agreed as you didn’t have any swimwear with you, and you desperately needed new clothes for the trip. 

Your eyes travelled the expanse of the cafeteria but you didn’t see Jay anywhere, which was unusual as he always made sure to sit and have lunch with you all. 

Yeji was quick to notice your wandering eyes, a small smirk on her lips as she observed you doing so but she said nothing, sipping on her drink as she indulged you back into the conversation. 

This exam went better than your previous ones, automatically lifting up your mood as you got ready for your work. You also wondered if you should get your nails done before the trip along with shopping. 

The store was busier than usual, making you and your coworker work even faster, she even stayed back an hour just to help you before handing it over to you, for which you were grateful. 

It was no later than 7 PM when you heard the door opening, Jay coming into your vision, surprising you as he usually visited at a later hour. 

“Hey, how’d your exam go and where were you?” You asked before you could stop yourself, causing a smirk to grow on his face. 

“Why? Missed me?” He asked, laughing when you rolled your eyes and ignored him while restocking the shelf. 

“My parents had come to visit me, I’ve to go and have dinner with them,” he spoke up after a minute and you realized how it was the first time he opened up and mentioned his family to you. 

You turned around to see that he looked bothered, “that sounds nice, do they live nearby?” You asked, noticing his expression. 

“They live in Seoul too, yes,” he nodded, then shaking his head and looking at you, “how’d your exam go?” He asked you, seeing your face lighting up as you told him about how well it went, also thanking him for his notes with a soft smile. 

“Glad to help my enemy,” he whispered softly, patting your head and leaving. 

You stuttered, shocked with his sudden action, calling his name, “wait, are you not getting anything today?” You asked, wondering why he came all the way here.  

“I already got what I wanted,” he smiled, leaving you standing in the middle of the shop, speechless. 

It was hard for you to focus on working after he left, it wasn’t unusual for him to say such things out of the blue, yet it was getting harder for you to control your heart whenever he said anything. 

“You’re pouting,” Yeji said as you both sat down to study at night. 

“What?” You looked up at her. 

“You spend so much time with him, it was about time you started picking up his mannerisms,” she said as it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you said. 

You had the exact idea of what she was talking about.

You weren’t sure how but you too had started pouting softly while studying and concentrating on a topic, just like Jay. You didn’t even know until Yeji pointed it out, causing your cheeks to heat up, embarrassment flooding in. 

More than that, you were slightly worried thinking about him, noticing how he looked unsettled and bothered when he visited the shop. 

You wondered if he was okay. 

“Do you like him?” Yeji asked, “you literally never talk to any other guy, it’s just him,” she added. 

“Doesn’t mean that I like him,” you said, not looking at her but she was quick to grab your chin to make you look right into her eyes. 

“Say it then, say it you don’t find him attractive,” she ordered you. 

You huffed, closing your eyes with a sigh and opening them to see Yeji waiting for your answer with a knowing smile. 

“Okay, Yes! Yes he is good looking and fun to be around but I don’t like him,” you said, admitting out loud what you were trying to suppress all this while. 

“Knew it,” she winked, “loosen up, babe, he’s a nice guy, it won’t hurt to have fun with him, I’ve seen how you both look at each other.” 

“Now you’re being delusional,” you commented with a laugh, but also trying to register her words. 

You knew it would hurt if only you would be the one to fall for him. What if he doesn’t even like you as a friend? A myriad of questions swamped your mind but even then, you could not deny that you had been thinking of him more than you’d like to admit. 

Shopping with the girls proved to be fruitful as they successfully helped you take your mind off Jay, moreover, you convinced both of them to get their nails done with you. The need to pamper yourself in the midst of exams and the chaos of the excitement of the trip was necessary, as it helped in preventing your breakdowns and overloads. 

You reached back home tired, yet you had to get ready for work, you didn’t have to work for much longer, just a few more days. The shop was emptier than ever, and you had another hour before your shift ended. Your eyes felt heavy, you hadn’t been getting much sleep as you devoted your nights to studying, you wanted that internship at all costs. 

You rested your head on your folded arms as you waited for your shift to end, however, you didn’t expect sleep to take over your senses in the next few minutes, and soon, you drifted into the dreamland. 

“Sure! Come again.” A cheerful voice woke you up from your nap, eyes adjusting to the light as you found Jay standing next to you. 

That was enough to drive your sleepiness away, you stood up in alarm, “fuck! Did I actually sleep here?” You groaned, “and weren’t there customers here? God did they go away—” you panicked. 

“Calm down, I took care of it,” he said, holding your hand to make you listen to him, “you should sleep more, love.” 

There it was again, that term of endearment paired with your hand in his, it did stray your focus away from your work to him. 

“But—I’m sorry you had to do it on my behalf, I’m so embarrassed,” you whined. 

“Shh.” He put his finger on your lips to stop your rant, “see your shift is over and your coworker is right there,” he said, pointing out at the entryway door of the store from where she was just about to enter. 

Jay could have sworn you looked like a little kid as he talked, but once he looked at your face, he figured out it wasn’t just sleep deprivation, you actually looked exhausted, as if you were overworking yourself. 

You on the other hand froze when his finger touched your lips, “Jay—” you tried to say and he stared at you intensely. 

“Have you been resting at all?” He asks, frowning, “let’s go, you should get some sleep in your bed,” he decides, not letting you speak as he grabs your bag for you and looks your way. 

“I’m fine! You don’t have to hold it for me,” you tried to tell him yet he didn’t budge, so you decided to talk to him while walking. 

“Okay, but have you been sleeping?” You asked, falling in step with him. 

“Of course, I have,” he said. 

“Your dark circles say otherwise,” you pointed out, causing him to stop and look at you. 

“I have dark circles?” He asked, and he almost looked comical to you. 

A laugh left your mouth, “they aren’t too dark, you don’t have to worry, Park,” you told him, placing your hand on his cheek and tracing the under eye skin softly, “right there,” you said. 

He nodded while still looking at you, he bit his lip unconsciously and started walking with you by his side. 

He was relieved as you fortunately failed to notice the red blush creeping up his cheeks and ears. 

Jay was right, you were overworking yourself, it got worse when you woke up with a mild fever on the day of your exam, not to mention it was the last day of your period too, which provided the absolute worst time for you. During the time of your month, you were blessed with having no pain, no cramps, however, the last day was always the one which left you crying in pain. 

You had no choice but to take medication and get up, you also had work, the last day of work to be precise, which you couldn’t miss. Medicines were important as you were leaving for the trip tomorrow, your suitcase on your bed was the reminder for that. 

“Babee,” Yeji frowned, “take this and are you sure you’ll be okay at night?” She asked, concerned as she had to go and meet her aunt at night, her plan was to reach university tomorrow from her aunt’s place. 

“I’ll be okay, you go and have fun,” you provided her with an assuring smile. 

“Call me if anything happens, okay?” She said and you nodded, grateful for having such an amazing friend. 

The medicines were helpful in containing your pain for half of the day, your exam going by smoothly as you poured out everything you had studied, then heading directly to the store to finish up your work as soon as possible.

The pain had died down yet the fever didn’t subside. You couldn’t do much but wish for it to get better by tomorrow, even after this, you did your best and greeted customers with a smile. Your coworker helped you by taking over for a while as you rested in the staff room area. 

However your rest was short lived. 

“Y/n,” your coworker, Yerin, called out your name with a face full of panic. 

“Yerin? Are you alright?” You asked, worried, standing up. 

She shook her head, “it’s my grandma, I have to leave early tonight, I know you’re not well but can you please take over till one? I’ll ask Miyeon to come and take your shift early, please?” She asked, eyes watering. 

“Go, I’ll take care of it,” you assured her as you thought that her situation was more serious than yours. 

“I owe you big time,” she said, rushing out of the store and you returned to tend to the customers. 

What surprised you more was that Jay didn’t visit the store this particular day, you were sure he would come by to pick up snacks for the trip, yet he didn’t show up. 

You couldn’t wait to get back home and rest anymore, it was past midnight now, and you sighed in relief when you saw Miyeon entering and taking over the shift. 

Your fever still hadn’t gone and you wondered if you should be taking a cab instead of a ten minute walk back to your apartment. Getting out of the shop, you saw Jay getting out of his car, your eyes widening, wondering why he was out at such an hour. 

“Jay?” You asked. 

“Get in,” he said, grabbing your bag and you followed him wordlessly. 

“What are you doing here?” You asked, getting in the car. 

“I came by earlier and overheard you talking with your friend,” he said nonchalantly, “you shouldn’t stay out this late,” he murmured, his eyes not meeting yours.

He leaned in closer, finally looking at you as he grabbed the seatbelt and put it on for you, “here,” he whispered, putting his hand on your forehead, his frown deepening, “you have fever, let’s get you home, you should rest, Y/n.” He didn’t wait for your reply, starting the car and driving. 

You stayed silent, mostly because you were stunned by his actions, also as you felt under the weather, wanting to get in comfort of your bed again. 

You got back in no time, Jay wordlessly grabbed your hand as you got into the lift for your floor, you saw his lip bitten, something he did when he was deep in thoughts. 

He took the keys from you and helped you in the apartment, “do you need help?” He asked as you got into the bathroom to take your makeup off and change. 

Your cheeks burned hot with his question, your body already hot with fever, “n—no!” You let out, getting out in your comfortable sweatpants to see Jay with medicines and water in his hand, his face displayed exhaustion, yet he was here, helping you get in bed. 

“I’m so sorry you had to do all this, Jay,” you said as Jay sat down next to you on bed, “you really should get back and sleep too, we have to get up early in the morning,” your voice came out soft as your eyes threatened to close shut. 

Jay couldn’t leave like that, he was feeling uneasy ever since he heard you were unwell and still working, although he knew that you won’t budge until you complete your shift, and so he came to pick you up instead. 

“Don’t worry about me, just go to sleep, love,” he whispered. 

Your eyes were closed as you spoke your next words, drifting into dreamland while you mindlessly asked him, “do you really see me as a friend?” 

However you weren’t awake to hear his response. 

The constant buzzing noise resulted in you waking up, you stirred in your sleep, opening one eye with a groan. A scream left your mouth when you noticed that you weren’t alone, but it was Jay who was still sleeping right next to you. 

Your voice startled him enough to wake up, “Y/n?” He said mindlessly, touching your forehead to check your temperature now, “no fever now,” he smiled, groaning and getting up from your bed. 

That wasn’t your concern at the given moment, you grabbed your phone to check the time and it was a few minutes past twelve, which was way past the time allotted to you to reach the university for the trip. 

“Fuck, oh no,” you panicked, looking at Jay, who looked back at you with the same expression as you both cried out together. 

“We missed the bus!” 

You saw your phone ring again, it was a Yeji, “Y/n! Oh, finally! Where have you been? I’ve been calling you for hours!” She exclaimed, the background noise indicating that she was in the bus, which would have left four hours ago. 

“Yeji, I missed the bus—I had a fever and I overslept and Jay was here, we both missed the bus!” You almost cried out and she asked you to take a deep breath. 

“Get ready,” Jay spoke on the other hand, entering your room again. 

“What?” You breathed out, looking at his messy hair, which still made him look handsome, his voice a tone deeper than usual as he had just woken up. 

You shook your head, listening to what he was saying, “I talked to Mrs. Min and told her we had an emergency so we couldn’t catch the bus, so instead, we’ll be going together in my car,” he smirked, “guess you’re stuck with me, princess,” he winked, getting back to his usual self as you stared at him with wide eyes. 

“Y/n? Y/n!” Yeji called out your name, making you realize that you were still on a call, and you filled her in with the latest information that you would be travelling with Jay. 

Soon after the call, you got out of the bed, feeling way better than yesterday as you showered in record time, getting ready and grabbing your luggage just to see Jay getting out of his apartment too. 

He was clad in a denim jacket with the sleeves rolled up, black jeans and replacing his usual specs were a pair of black sunglasses. You averted your eyes, not wanting to be disrespectful and stare at him. 

“Are you sure we can do this?” You asked, knowing that it was a long journey. 

“Of course, we can. Oh hold on,” he spoke, his fingers coming in contact with your cheeks softly as he picked up your fallen piece of eyelash and placed it on the back of your hand. 

“Make a wish,” he smiled, causing a smile to grow on your face as well. 

You closed your eyes, choosing your wish very carefully, as you manifested it to come to true. Soon, you opened your eyes and blew air on the lash, causing it to fly away, taking your wish along. 

You didn’t notice his stare on you as you did so, nor did you know that your lash didn’t only carry your wish, but his too, which he made alongside you. 

“Let’s go,” you both nodded, pulling your respective suitcases with you. 

You tried to act normal, but in reality, you were anxious beyond words. Reason being, you had to be alone with Jay in a car for the whole day, that is, if you catch up to the bus on time. 

Jay seemed rather casual about it, not once mentioning last night and you slowly tried to count the number of times he had selflessly helped you, he missed the bus because of you  and yet, he didn’t complain about it once. 

“You really want me to do everything for you, yeah?” He raised his brows, coming closer again, causing your breath to hitch. 

He maintained eye contact as he dragged the seatbelt into the buckle, chuckling when he saw you looking at him with wide eyes. 

“Cute,” he whispered to himself, making sure you didn’t hear it. 

It was the third time he had done that. You always forgot to buckle up and he always did it for you. Your heart was pumping crazy and it was only the start of the trip. 

He started the car, soon driving seamlessly as he gave you his phone to select the song to play from his personal playlist. If not for the music, the car was silent. You gasped when you felt his fingers on your knee, which you did not realize was shaking, his hand successfully stopping it from doing so. 

“What’s on your mind, princess?” He asked, looking straight at the road. 

You bit your lower lip, ignoring the nickname as you said, “I just wanted to say thank you for last night, it’s because of me we missed the bus—”

He interrupted you when he realized that you were going to blame yourself for the situation. The situation he was happy to be in. 

“Now you’re going all sappy on me,” he teased, “and I bet you would’ve done the same for me, right?” He asked, looking your way for a split second, feeling proud when he saw a smile ghosting your lips. 

“Yeah, I would have.” Your answer was supposed to be a joke yet you knew that it had underlying truth to it. 

Jay took his hand off your knee to steer the wheel, instantly making your skin feel cold at the lack of his warmth. Looking his way, you observed how effortless his driving seemed, he was confident and someone you could rely on. You couldn’t help but notice how sharp his jawline was, and a little heart-shaped birthmark decorated his neck, causing you to smile. 

Reminding yourself to stop staring, you decided to look out of the window. The weather was rather pleasant today. You noticed the presence of clouds in the sky along with the wind blowing, which swayed the trees just enough for them to look like they were dancing. 

Jay noticed your smile and comfortable state, however he was still worried about your health and wanted you to rest throughout the car ride. 

“Do you feel better today?” He asked. 

“Oh—yes I do! I just don’t do well on certain days,” you trailed off, wondering if you should talk to him about your period. 

“That time of the month?” He asked casually, not wanting you to feel awkward. 

Just then your gaze fell on his arm, veins popping out as he gripped the steering wheel tightly, distracting you enough to miss his question. 

“I’m sorry, what?” You asked again, embarrassed. 

He chucked, repeating his question and you nodded, “my last days are always painful, i don’t usually get out of my bed but we had an exam so, yeah,” you told him and he nodded. 

He cleared his throat, “so I grabbed the painkillers and other medicines just in case you feel sick again, let me know if you do, yeah?” He asked. 

Your stomach erupted into butterflies at his gesture. You knew you were in trouble, and to distract yourself, you decided to tease him instead. 

“Worried about me, Park?” You asked with a teasing smile. 

“How can I not worry about my princess?” He said, taking the lead and playing the same game with you. 

“Do you give nicknames to all the girls you meet?” You asked him, looking out of the window to hide your face. 

“No, only the pretty ones,” he smirked. 

You stilled, wondering how he said such things so coolly. 

“You can’t just say that!” You exclaimed, knowing well that your cheeks were burning just because of his words as you smacked his arm lightly. 

“Hey! Don’t abuse the driver!” He faked disbelief before letting out a laugh. 

It was easy to fall into a conversation with him after, bickering over the sound of music as he drove you towards the resort smoothly. 

The sun was setting by the time you woke up, realizing that the car was stopped, you opened your eyes to find Jay’s gaze fixated on your face, eyes reverting when he saw you waking up. 

“I was just gonna wake you up,” he said, rubbing his nape and pointing at the burger joint you had stopped at. 

You stretched your arms, frowning, “you’ve been driving all day, aren’t you tired, Jay?” You asked.

“Don’t worry about me, we can rest for sometime and eat here,” he said, urging you to get out of the car. 

“There's a washroom over there,” he pointed at the sign, “you can go and freshen up, I’ll wait for you in the restaurant.” 

You nodded, getting in the washroom and doing your business, you looked dishevelled as you slept in the car, going to the sink to wash your face. 

Never in a million years you would have thought that you’d be travelling with Jay like this, he was nothing but a rival in your eyes, maybe, just maybe a friend too but ever since that party and his contestant visits to the store, you started feeling differently, as if you were closer than before, he helped you out on numerous occasions and took care of you without any say. 

You wondered if he did so for all his friends. 

Jay couldn’t help but stare at the entrance, waiting for you as he had already placed the order for both of your meals. It was finally when he saw you coming towards the restaurant area, a smile took place on his face. He waved his hand to grab your attention, and your eyes lit up in recognition when you saw him, coming towards him. 

In those twenty one seconds of you making your way towards the table he was sitting at, he observed a few things; you had let your hair down, which was previously in a ponytail. The bracelet you were wearing was not on your wrist anymore, meaning that you had removed it. You had reapplied your clear lip oil as well, which was strawberry scented. 

He was glad to see you cheerful even after the long journey. Your batchmates had already reached the destination and you were four hours away from it still. It was getting dark already and you wondered if you would be able to reach on time, especially with the weather changing into a cloudy one, indicating that it might rain soon. 

“Hey, where’s the menu card?” You asked, sitting right in front of him. 

“Hold on,” he whispered, standing up slightly to get his hand over the table and wipe the corner of your lip, where the lip oil had spread, causing your eyes to flutter shut at the feeling. 

“All done,” he smiled, and you opened your eyes again, looking down at your hands, “oh and I placed the order already, it’ll be here any second now,” he let out, and you tilted your head. 

“But I didn’t order yet,” you said in confusion. 

Just then the attendant came over with a tray, placing it on your table and wishing you a happy meal as she flashed a friendly smile before leaving. 

If you thought Jay was full of surprises uptill now then you were proven right as he continued to surprise you by ordering your favourite drink and the flavour of pasta, a noise of disbelief left your mouth as you looked up at his expression of satisfaction. 

“Are you really a stalker?” You asked, mouth still open in amazement. 

“Stalker? No. I’m just someone who observes things well,” he pointed out, urging you to eat while conversing. 

“Right. Then how did you forget and bring the wrong drink for Yeonjun a few days back?” You raised your brow, tasting the pasta which was scrumptious as it melted perfectly on your taste buds. 

You were happy you earned extra cash by working because you don't want Jay to pay for your meal too, he’s already doing so much by driving you both. 

“That was one time!” He argued, cheeks red as you laughed at him, giving him another example of when he forgot to bring the right flavour of ice cream for Beomgyu. 

The dinner was full of smiles and comfort, you couldn’t lie that you liked seeing him blush and bicker with you, it was something he incorporated in your conversations at the most unusual times, doesn’t matter if the conversation consists of him flirting with you, or studying with you, or just talking with you, he had to make it funny at all times. 

“I’m paying,” you said as you asked for the bill. 

“Dinner’s on me, princess,” he said, holding your hand which was busy taking out money. 

You frowned, “you’re already driving, Jay, it’s the least I could do,” you said, and he smiled, turning away for a second before he nodded. 

“You think too much,” he said as he saw you paying, “thank you for the meal, love.”

In the past two minutes, he had used two of the nicknames which sent you into a frenzy and you tried your best to not look affected. Jay knew that you’d feel uneasy if he paid for this as well, which would lead to you feeling anxious, and so he figured it would be better to let you pay for this one. 

The journey was comfortable and you were only two hours away when the first raindrop fell on the windshield of Jay’s car, causing him to cuss out in disdain, knowing it would be hard to drive in rain. 

To your luck, you spotted a hotel after ten minutes of driving in the rain. You thought it would get better but you were proven wrong when you heard thunder accompany the rain, causing you to flinch with fear. 

You detested thunderstorms. Your fingers fidgeted as you closed your eyes shut, trying to focus on the music instead of the sound outside. 

Jay noticed your state of fear and decided it would be best for you to stop and spend the night at the hotel instead of travelling in such harsh conditions. The wind got stronger and it was hard to see the road anymore. 

Jay took the turn and gave the car for valet parking, grabbing your hand and taking out the luggage as you looked at him in question, your eyes looked tired while your lip trembled. 

“We’re staying here for the night, at least till the rain stops,” he tells you as he takes you to the lobby. 

“Jay, no! That’s—it’ll be so costly,” you said and he squeezed your hand. 

“It’s fine, let me take care of it,” he said, talking to the attendant. 

“I can’t let you do that,” you whispered, grabbing his arm and he looked down at your body pressed against his. 

He bit his lip, nodding at the attendant before turning back towards you. 

“Just trust me, love. We can’t be out there in such weather, it’ll be okay,” he said, grabbing the room card and walking towards the lift, “also, we’ll have to share the room,” he spoke out awkwardly, “it’s holiday season so all other rooms were booked.” 

“T—that’s fine,” you nodded, leaving his hand which you were holding subconsciously, “only for a few hours, right?” 

“Only for a few hours,” he nodded, getting out of the lift and guiding you towards your room, where your luggage had been kept already. 

The sound of thunder didn’t reach you anymore and you finally started breathing normally again. Jay was quick to call your professor and inform her about your situation, and her being ever so understanding, asked you to reach by the morning, meaning that you’ll have to wake up early to make it on time. 

“You can take the bed, Jay, you’ve been driving all day,” you spoke softly as you saw him rummage through his clothes. 

“No can do. You need to sleep well, and so you’ll take the bed,” he said. 

You tried to argue back as you got your comfortable nightwear out from your suitcase, which consisted of pink shorts and a shirt. Jay let you take a shower first and you spent all your time thinking about how you’ll have to spend another night with him, however, this time you’ll be in your senses. Heat creeped up your body as you tried to shake your thoughts away. 

“It’s just Jay, it’s only him,” you whispered to yourself while drying your hair using the hair dryer provided in the bathroom amenities. 

You looked at yourself in the mirror, giving yourself a look of motivation before you went out and saw Jay casually sitting and using his phone. 

“You can shower now,” you said, getting out of the bathroom and sitting on the bed. 

Jay looked at your endearingly sweet outfit, his automatic reaction of biting his lower lip commenced as he tried his best to not to pull your smaller figure into a hug. Instead, he hurried up to take a shower. 

You texted Yeji and Karina in the group chat, letting them know about your current situation and their reactions were exactly what you had expected from them both. 

Yeji: girlie you’re spending nights with jay now? 🫣

Karina: Shut up and pray he’s got protection w him 🙄

You: guys?? nothing’s gonna happen wtf? 😭

Karina: You sure? I mean, he is hot ;)

Yeji: bet she’ll drool once she sees him shirtless 🥴

You: gawd that’s NOT happening, i'm going to sleep

You kept your phone aside. The opening of the bathroom door grabbing your attention, your mouth feeling dry all of a sudden. 

Suddenly , you really wished you hadn’t looked that way. 

A gasp left your mouth as you closed your eyes, seeing as Jay was only in his black sweatpants and nothing more. Meaning, he was shirtless. 

“Oh god, Park! Put some clothes on,” you complained, eliciting laughter out of him. 

“Why? Are you shy?” He teases, coming closer as he uses a towel to soak the excess water from his hair. 

You scoffed, looking directly at him as he leaned in closer so his face was on your level, his bare arm on the bed supported his weight, which also displayed his veins. 

“Please, I’ve seen better,” you lied, as in fact, you had never seen anyone’s body as attractive as his. 

“Is that so?” He asked, amused by your answer, “may I ask who?” 

“Why do you care?” You retorted, pushing him away, touching his chest in the process, which felt rock hard against your hands. 

“If you wanted to touch me you could have just said so, princess,” he went on, his usual smirk gracing his face. 

However, all your confidence went downhill as the thunderstorms took over again, more powerful and louder than before, causing you to shut your eyes and ears as your face scrunched up in fear. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Jay asked, getting on bed and grabbing your face with his big hands.

“Thunder, I—I hate it,” you let out, holding onto a pillow and whimpering into it. 

Jay panicked seeing you this way, he was quick to wrap a blanket around your body, getting his EarPods out and putting on a calming tune before he put them on for you, hugging you without any words. 

“It’ll be okay,” he whispered loud enough for you to hear and you wrapped your arms around him tighter. 

It was comforting how his one hand patted your back while the other caressed your head softly, providing everything he could to you with his actions. 

You could’ve sworn it wasn’t just because of thunder that your heart was beating out of your chest. 

He held you through it all, never once letting you go you fell asleep in his arms, his big eyes staring at you as he whispered to himself. 

“Sleep well, princess.” 

You snuggled deeper into the warmth of your pillow, humming softly as you almost felt as if you were being cuddled and pulled closer, which was successful in stirring you awake. 

For the second morning in the row, you were shocked to see a very shirtless Jay with his arms wrapped around your waist as he slept peacefully. You took a second to stare at him, he looked idyllic, his lips automatically forming a small pout whenever he was undisturbed, which looked endearing to you. 

Just as you were about to touch him, the alarm from Jay’s phone rang, which you assumed he put on right before going to sleep as you still had to reach the resort before everyone left for the museum, which was first on the itinerary for the day. 

You closed your eyes shut in panic, pretending to be asleep as you felt his arms around you tighten, which only resulted in you feeling a shiver down your spine. 

“Hmm,” he groaned, turning towards the side table as he turned off the alarm, “fuck,” he muttered, not wanting to wake up at five in the morning. 

You felt the mattress weight shifting again, and even with your eyes closed, you could feel Jay coming closer to you. His hand was gentle when he caressed your cheek as you tried your best not to freak out at the proximity and give out that you were awake. 

Lord it felt so good. 

Now, you weren’t sure if your mind was playing tricks with you or if Jay had actually called you pretty as you slept before he got up from the bed to freshen up. 

It was when you heard the bathroom door shut when you finally opened your eyes, sitting up as your chest heaved up and down, your fingers automatically reaching out to touch your cheeks, the exact spot he had touched not even two minutes ago. You wondered how long it would take for your poor heart to finally burst out if Jay kept this up. 

A groan left your mouth when you also gathered the memory of last night, the memory where you hugged his shirtless frame. You could excuse it as you were terrified because of the thunder. Right? 

Nevertheless, you got up and tried to stretch out before Jay came out of the bathroom to see you awake, his usual smile greeted you and for the first time, you gave him a shy smile back, “good morning, Jay,” you said as you rushed into the bathroom, leaving him smiling at your cuteness. 

It didn’t take you both long to get ready and check out of the hotel before you got into Jay’s car yet again. The weather had cleared out and it was still slightly dark when he started driving again, and you noticed that the road was still wet while the trees looked greener than ever with the little droplets of water all over their leaves. 

You couldn’t help but spare glances at Jay during the entirety of the drive, the sunrise only enhanced the beauty of him as you saw sun rays falling on him as he drove. His skin shone golden and he looked like pure honey in your eyes. 

“We’re here,” he announced as he turned the car to get into the driveway for the resort parking and your mouth hung open at how grand and expensive it looked just from the outside. 

“Woah,” you whispered, looking outside and then Jay excitedly. 

It all happened in a flash, him giving his car to the valet and calling your professor as you waited in the grand lobby of the hotel, wondering if all your friends were still sleeping, considering it was early in the morning. 

Mrs. Min was quick to come out, delighted to see you both finally here, “I was so worried! I hope the journey was not too rough,” she asked with concerned eyes. 

You smiled, giving Jay just a glance, “it was really comfortable and Jay was kind enough to work everything out smoothly to get us here,” you told her softly, which caused Mrs. Min to praise Jay for being the ideal student as well as a guy. 

You noticed how his ears blushed red whenever he was praised, causing you to laugh by yourself. 

“Okay so you have one hour before everyone wakes up and gathers for breakfast at the dining area! You can rest and freshen up before it all!” She mentioned. 

“What about our rooms, ma’am?” You asked awkwardly. 

“Oh right! There’s only one room available at the given moment,” she said and you felt like you were gonna pass out if a repeat of last night happened again, “so you can take that room to yourself, Y/n! As for Jay, Yeonjun will be your roommate as he’s alone in his room as of now. You know the policy, two students in one room,” she smiled as she handed you your room card, also informing that the boys have their rooms on the third floor while the girls have theirs on the second floor. 

You smiled at her, both of you bowing down as she made her way back to her own room. You could finally breathe now that you were here, and had a room all to yourself. 

“Come, I’ll walk you to your room,” Jay said when you got into the lift together. 

“Jay, you should really rest, it’s fine,” you tried to say, holding your hand up only for him to grab it. 

“Why? Tired of me already?” He asked, pulling you closer. 

You could only pray that no one sees you in this position with him. 

“I didn’t say that,” you spoke up, jumping away from him as the elevator doors opened. 

Thankfully the corridor was empty, and you walked faster to find your room, which was the last one on the right corner down the corridor. 

You turned back, looking at your feet before you said, “thank you for everything, Jay, I really can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done—” 

He stopped you from speaking further as he gently held your chin in his fingers, “actually, I can think of a few ways you can thank me,” he whispered, eyes gleaming as you noticed little specs of golden in his chocolate brown eyes. 

“What?” You asked just as gently. 

“How about we start off by a thank you hug?” His smile morphed into a smirk as he stood with his arms open. 

You bit your smile, nodding and standing on your tiptoes to wrap your arms around his neck in a quick hug. His scent engulfed you, which you had grown to like, and you were just as quick to leave him and make a beeline towards your room. 

Meanwhile, Jay was already used to your flustered behaviour and he caught your wrist just in time to pull you in for an actual hug, his body flushed against yours as you stilled when he rested his face on your neck, his lips brushing against your skin. 

“Don’t get tired of me,” he whispered, tickling your neck. 

You stared at him with wide eyes when he stepped back with his playful smile, “we’re just getting started, princess,” he said, leaving your heart racing as he walked away to get to his room. 

You found yourself in Yeji and Karina’s shared room a few minutes after Jay left. Seeing as you had already showered, it didn’t take you much time to change into your outfit for the day, which consisted of a skirt and a top to go along with it. You didn’t forget to wear your necklace and a ring as you felt bare going out without any accessories. 

Back to your friends, they sat in front of you, half ready as they both stopped when they heard your story, looking at you in disbelief. 

“You’re trying to tell me that Jay, Park fucking Jongseong took care of you when you had fever?” Yeji asked, face looking comical with how she had applied lipstick only on the top corner of her lip. 

You nodded and opened your mouth to speak but Karina beat you to it. 

“And he remembers your favourite drink as well as food,” she hummed, midway straightening her hair. 

“Yes—” you started again, but no one let you continue. 

“He also held you to sleep when you cried because of the thunderstorm,” Yeji said, looking at Karina with teasing eyes. 

“And he hugged you!” Karina almost screamed. 

“Really, Y/n. What’s going on?” They asked, sitting closer to you. 

“Nothing,” you groaned, “I don’t fucking know,” you looked distressed. 

“Does it feel nice to have him around you?” Karina asked, being straightforward. 

Your mind backtracked to each incident and caused you to nod, “yeah, but what if he’s just being playful?” You whined. 

“Then flirt back! Don’t act shy, don’t stutter, but show him that you can do the same thing, and if possible then make him jealous, there’s no better way to find out if anyone’s interested in you than making them jealous and getting it out of them,” Yeji theorized with a smirk, knowing that she was right. 

“She’s right. You’re so pretty Y/n,” Karina sighed, looking at you softly, “you better make him work for you!” She warned as both the girls came to hug you. 

A genuine smile graced your face. You loved both of them dearly. Your smile grew even more when you decided to take up their advice and work upon it. 

You couldn’t wait to see Jay again. 

Breakfast was fulfilling as you sat with your friends and Taehyun, who was kind enough to share how Yeonjun, Beomgyu and Jay were still asleep, not caring about breakfast as the boys wanted nothing more than to catch up with their sleep. 

Professor Jung was another teacher who accompanied the students on the trip. “We’ll be leaving for the museum in one and a half hours, I hope that’s sufficient for everyone to get ready. No delays will be tolerated, kindly be on time,” he announced. 

You and your friends shrugged as you were already ready and had one and a half hours to spare. Your friends filled Taehyun up with the details of your journey, happily leaving out the parts which he shouldn’t be knowing. 

“Why didn’t he just call his driver?” Taehyun wondered out loud. 

“He’s got a driver?” You asked. 

“I mean, his parents have a driver, he could have asked for help,” he told you. 

You nodded in understanding, turning to head when you heard a voice calling your name. 

“Y/n, you’re here!” Jaemin spoke up, looking at your table for the first time, questioning himself as to how he did not see you here before. 

You wondered how he was always so cheerful, his smile never leaving his face. It was contagious of sorts, making you smile when you looked at him. 

Excusing yourself from your table, you stood up to talk to Jaemin, who seemed happy just to see you here. He took you to his table which was right beside yours as he introduced you to his friends, which was basically the group of all the students who joined mid semester. 

You greeted everyone with a smile as you sat down next to Jaemin, “excited for today?” He asked with a smile. 

“Yeah,” you nodded, “it feels so nice to be here, and did you see the beach adjoined to our resort? I can’t wait to explore that!” You told him, and he was quick to lean in and tell you more about it. 

Jay had just entered with Yeonjun and Beomgyu, all of them were not dressed up yet they looked tired, Jay in particular looked bothered as he sat down where you were previously sitting with his plate full of what looked like sausages. 

“What’s up with him?” Karina asked, nose scrunching. 

Yeonjun snorted, and Jay warned him, yet he didn’t care and continued to speak, “Jay slept for one hour and had a wet dream,” his voice was loud enough to reach your ears. 

Your eyes widened at the information, even more so when you heard Jay groan, meaning that the information was indeed true. 

Jaemin was tall enough to cover your frame as he turned to you, offering you the cupcake you had been eyeing. You took it from him with a smile, but your whole attention was on their conversation. 

Jay on the other hand, ignored all the comments and remarks Beomgyu made as his mind went back to the scene which landed him in this situation. 

From the deep subconscious of his mind, he dreamt about you, but he wasn’t going to tell anyone this, about how he touched your soft lips with his, about how his lips travelled the expanse of your body— 

Yeah, he couldn’t get the feeling of your body pressed up against his naked torso out of his head, and he knew it was wrong to think about it, especially when you were scared. 

He shook his head, cheeks red as he tried to calm down. It was the first time he had such a dream, but he was more curious about your whereabouts, his eyes travelling and scanning all the tables before he asked, “where's Y/n?” He acted nonchalant, eating the food in front of him. 

Yeji smirked, “some cute guy took her with him. Oh look! They’re talking,” she pointed at Jaemin, who sat down normally again, causing you to come into Jay’s line of vision. 

Jay finally made eye contact with you, and you noticed how red his face was still, making you wonder what he dreamt about. You passed him a small smile, which was enough for him to smile back at you, however this interaction was short lived when Jaemin grabbed your attention again. 

Jay knew he was the new student, however, he did not know his name, but seeing the way he was so friendly with you was enough to make him wonder how you got so close to him. His jaw clenched instinctively, furthermore when you laughed at a joke he made. 

Karina and Yeji observed the exchange silently, high fiving under the table. 

Deciding that it was enough, the two girls called you over and asked you to join them for photos at the lobby area, causing you to excuse yourself from Jaemin, who flashed you a charming smile while saying bye as Jay could only scoff at this. 

His expression quickly changed when you came over and noticed him, “good morning, Jay,” you said, standing behind his seat and leaning further, which allowed Jay to take a silent sniff of your perfume which was vanilla scented. 

“I’m taking this,” you pointed at the cookie which you picked up from his plate and took a small bite of while he simply stared at you as you made your way towards your friends as his eyes trailed down to look at your sleek little skirt which showed your legs. 

“Shit,” he cursed as he mindlessly drank the hot coffee, while his sole focus was you. 

It was going to be a tough day for him. 

Professor Jung had called you right before all the students started filling into the three buses as he needed assistance with the roll call, making sure no student was left behind or sneaking out somewhere. 

You were more than happy to help, seeing he was the one who offered you the internship, it was only right if you’d put up your best image in front of him. 

You checked off everyone’s name as they got into their respective buses, leaving you to be the last one to get into the bus, and to your surprise, the only spot open for you was at the last seat, in between Jay and Jaemin. 

Jay spotted you and was going to shift to sit next to Jaemin but he was faster to call you with a smile. 

Which brings you here, sitting in between them both with an awkward atmosphere. 

Noticing how the girl sitting on the other side of Jay tried her best to indulge him in a conversation made you roll your eyes, when in reality, Jay didn’t even wish to look her away but he didn’t wish to be rude either.  

You turned to look at Jaemin who was more than interested to talk about how he wished to take up a barista course just because he loved coffee. Soon, the cold air in the bus made you shiver, along with the lack of attention from Jay, who was struggling and trying his best to get out of the conversation with the other girl. 

Jaemin noticed your shivering state, “Y/n, you look cold,” he spoke out loud, taking his jacket off. 

This statement grabbed Jay’s attention and he almost started to take his own jacket off, only to see that Jaemin was faster and now your legs were covered with his jacket. 

Jay would have driven you by himself if he knew this was gonna happen, but his mood wasn’t sour for long. 

“Will you sit with me during the return trip too?” Jaemin asked you and you turned to Jay. 

Your hand automatically grabbed his arm, his body soothed with the skin contact as he looked down at you, “Jay, will we be going back together? Because I think the luggage will also take up space here and it’s a long journey back to Seoul—”

“Of course, we’re going back together, love,” he spoke, cutting you midway which made Jaemin cock his eyebrow at Jay, who only smiled at you sweetly. 

“That’s great! Can we stop by and have that pasta again, it was so good,” you asked and he nodded in a beat. 

“Anything you want.” 

The conversation was short-lived as you had arrived at the museum already. Jay was quick to get up from his seat to get rid of the girl who kept talking to him, despite him not showing a single ounce of interest. 

Since the group was big, it was divided into smaller groups so that they can follow and listen to the guides assigned to each group. Your group stuck together, however, professor Jung made sure to drag Yeonjun and Beomgyu away, knowing that they’d be the ones who’d cause trouble. 

Adding to that, it had been a solid thirty minutes of you walking and Jay was nowhere to be seen which made you wonder if he ran off with the girl from earlier. You shook the feeling away as you entered the historical arena, it was full of animal specimens, displays of natural objects such as fossils, minerals, rocks, plants, and more. 

It was highly insightful, you agreed although you felt parched with all the walking. Furthermore, you had conveniently forgotten your bottle in your room. You looked back, trying to search for Jay in other groups as you mindlessly nodded to what Karina was saying about some new series though you couldn’t find him. 

“Who are you searching for?” A deep voice spoke in your ear, successfully making you flinch at the sudden invasion. 

With a hand on your chest, you turned to look at the culprit, only for it to be Jay. 

“You scared me,” you breathed out. 

“That doesn’t answer my question,” he said. 

“Doesn’t matter,” you muttered, not wanting to admit that you were searching for him. 

He clicked his tongue, “it matters when you were looking for me, princess,” he said and you panicked, looking around to see if anyone heard him, only to find out that you had a decent distance from your group. 

“And why would I look for you? It could be someone else too,” You spoke, crossing your arms. 

“You say that as if you can think of anyone else, princess,” he smirked and your mouth opened to retort. 

Although he was quicker to shove a bottle of water in your hands, “since you’re curious, I’ll tell you where I was,” he said as he walked alongside you to catch up with the group, “I went to get water as we didn’t have any with us, I also got us a bag of snacks from the store nearby and I had to and keep it in the bus. Now here I am, right where I should be.” He winked. 

You looked at him humoured, “you’re right, you really should be in a museum,” you said. 

“For being the most handsome man ever? I guess you are right,” he smirked and you gave him a look. 

It wasn’t as if he was lying. Jay had one of the most attractive faces you had ever come across, it almost looked as if he was carved by the gods themselves. All in all, you couldn’t deny it and hence, you chose to switch the topic instead.

“Isn’t it weird how people collect random things from all over the world and put it together to call it a museum?” You said out of nowhere, getting a smile out of Jay at your unpredictability. 

It surprised him to see you being so chatty around him, opening up to him more than usual, his small smile never leaving his lips as he contributed to your thoughts, feeling proud each time he made you laugh. 

You could feel the change too. Ever since you had come to Seoul two years back, you felt like you had to be timid and composed at all times, everything was new to you, but you felt at ease around Jay, and unconsciously, you turned to look at him only to find his eyes on you.

The simple exchange made you smile and your heartbeat rose for all the right reasons. 

The next stop was the one you were actually excited for, the aquarium. 

You didn’t have to get into the bus again as the aquarium was adjoined to the museum. You hadn’t ever been to one before, it thrilled further that you’d get to experience aquatic life right in front of you. 

The blue tunnels felt soothing to your eyes, various types of fishes swimming together and you looked everywhere, not wanting to miss anything. 

Soon, your friends pulled you into clicking pictures with them, Jay being kind enough to be your photographer, when in all honesty, he did this so he could look at you longer. As amazing as the day was going for him, it was equally balanced with dismay as he saw Jaemin approaching you once again.

Does he not get tired of smiling? He wondered. 

“Oh! Can we click a picture together too?” He spoke up, causing Karina and Yeji to contain their laughter with how irritated Jay appeared to be. 

“Sure,” you spoke, smiling at the phone which Jay was holding as Jaemin stood close to you, his smile ever so radiant. 

Jay took the picture in a split second, handling his phone to Jaemin now saying, “my turn,” as he stood by you. 

You watched the whole exchange, amused at Jay’s behaviour. He was always calm, you’ve never seen him so worked up before. 

He conveniently pulled you closer, resting his hand on your waist as he smiled for the picture which Jaemin was clicking, while your cheeks heated up in this situation. 

“Done,” Jaemin sang out, making his way to you as he went on pointing at the hermit crab, telling you how they steal and switch their shells to accommodate their size as they grow up. 

However your focus was on the picture of you and Jay, it was the first picture you had clicked together and you found it adorable how he smiled at the camera while your eyes were on him instead. 

“You’re pouting,” you stated, laughing at Jay as Karina called Jaemin over, asking him to tell them the random facts instead. 

“Yeah, I don’t really like this area. Let’s go up further,” he said, taking you along with him. 

You could have sworn you never smiled this much before, he nonchalantly commented upon every fish you came across, he came closer whenever you tried to show him anything that amused you, not to mention how he stood on the opposite side of the big fish tank walls just to see you from the other end. 

Soon, the whole lot of your batchmates were swarming the tiny souvenir shop and you were busy contemplating if you should get a dolphin stuffie for your little sister, but you weren’t going to go back home anytime soon so you settled on buying a similar little keychain for her. 

That wasn’t all, you also wanted to buy a little something for Jay, but you knew he wasn’t the one to sport cute accessories. Yet, you wanted to give him this ring with a cat paw imprint on it. Without thinking much, you purchased both items and walked out with your friends. 

You were quick to pour into the bus, hoping you won’t have another awkward moment sitting with someone new but before you could think, someone grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the left side seat, which was meant for two people. 

You yelped and almost landed on Jay’s lap, “are you crazy?” You whisper-yelled at him. 

He gave you a lazy smirk as you sat down next to him, properly. 

“How’d you know, princess?” He asked and you prayed no one heard him speak yet again. 

“Well, it’s quite evident, Park,” you whispered, smiling at him sweetly. 

You held his eye contact for a few seconds before both of you burst out laughing. 

It felt pleasant as the trip was aimed at fun, and fun only. There was no burden of studies, no assignments or reports, just three days devoted to enjoyment. 

“Here,” Jay says, removing his jacket and placing it on your lap, “don’t be cold, love.”

You bit your smile yet again, “thanks, Jay. You can be sweet at times,” you joked. 

“At times?” He looked at you, incredulous. 

You laughed as he went on explaining how sweet he is at all times. 

It was safe to say that you enjoyed that bus ride. 

Dinner went by smoothly as Yeji and Karina made you sit in between them both, complaining how you had spent more than enough time apart today. 

“I’m so excited for tomorrow, like, I really love beaches,” you said and your friends nodded. 

“Yes, babe. We know, it’s the sixth time you’d said it today,” Karina pointed out and you whined. 

“Okay but you get it,” you said. 

“Of course, we do. We can’t wait to see you in your bikini too,” they winked, leaning in to whisper, “or more like, we can’t wait to see a certain someone lose his shit after seeing you.” 

You rolled your eyes, “that’s not gonna happen,” you said. 

“We’ll see,” Yeji said, as if she knew exactly what was going to happen. 

The day was fulfilling. It was unusual for students to get a single room all to themselves but you weren’t complaining. It was midnight by the time you came out of the shower, in your sweatpants and a flimsy white camisole, all ready to sleep. 

Getting on the bed felt as if you had stepped on a cloud, making you chuckle out of happiness. You took a while to check up on your texts, telling your parents about your day and checking all the pictures you clicked throughout the day, which was majorly filled with sky pictures until you came across that photo of you and Jay. 

Your room’s doorbell rang at that very second, startling you as you jumped up to tiptoe towards the door, looking into the peephole to find none other than Jay standing in front of your room. 

You panicked, opening the door with wide eyes and ushering him in, “you really must be crazy! You’re not allowed to be on this floor, or in my room,” you said and he only looked at you with an adoring smile. 

“Shh, princess. I came here to give you something,” he said. 

Your eyes followed his hand which took out a dainty necklace from his pocket, a necklace with the smallest charm of a cat paw on it. You gasped softly, looking at him with excited eyes. 

“C’mere,” he said, making you stand in front of the full length mirror as gently brushed your hair to the side, his fingers grazed ever so slightly against your neck, causing you to shiver and you wondered why Jay was breathing so deeply too, his warm breath fanning your neck as he clasped the necklace securely at your nape. 

“All done,” he whispered as you looked at his reflection through the mirror. 

You turned around to face him, heart beating fast at your proximity as you fiddled with your fingers. 

“It’s so pretty,” you whispered out, “I—I actually have something for you too,” you spoke up, getting your backpack and taking out the ring which you got him, the ring with the same design as your necklace. 

His eyes shone with adornment as your tiny hand showed him the ring, “not gonna help me wear it?” He asked, teasing. 

You didn’t have it in you to look at him anymore as you grabbed his warm hands and gently slid the ring on his index finger, letting his hand go but he was quick to pull you in closer, “Y/n—” he said, but was interrupted with the bell ringing again. 

“Oh my god!” You ran to look at who was at your door. 

It was Yeji, you sighed in relief, “you’ve gotta go, Jay,” you told him as you opened the door. 

“What the fuck is going on here?” Yeji asked, her shocked face soon turned into one full of amusement. 

“Nothing, I just came to wish her a good night,” Jay spoke up smoothly, turning to you, “good night, princess,” he winked before walking out of the room. 

“Princess?” Yeji squealed. 

And you never heard the end of it. 

“Are you guys sure about this?” You asked, looking at yourself in a bikini. 

“Of course, babe, you look hot,” Yeji purred, looking stunning in her own bikini, as well as Karina. 

“Men are gonna pop boners,” she commented, making you snort. 

“Well, we can’t let that happen,” you say, wrapping a sarong around your waist to cover yourself just a midge. 

The whole day was dedicated to the beach, games and mayhaps a trip towards the central shopping area. You were as excited as a four year old who got offered their favourite candy. The beach was beautiful and you could already see your classmates playing volleyball and dodgeball from a distance. 

“Beomgyu says the boys are still getting ready,” Karina said, reading the text she just got. 

“What are they even doing?” Yeji asked, “and did you actually pay Gyu to get updates about Jay for Y/n?” She asked incredulously. 

You turned to look at her, “you what?” 

“Hey! I did it so I can shove you towards Jaemin before your loverboy comes and gets jealous,” she said as if it was obvious, “y’know it’s fun to see him that way.”

You shook your head, laughing lightly at how dedicated they were with your whole ‘making Jay jealous’ agenda. It was something you didn’t even contribute to as surprisingly, Jaemin was always around. 

Which included the current scenario as you spotted a very built and shirtless Jaemin calling you his way to build sand castles. Now, that’s something you did not see coming. 

“Do you work out?” You genuinely asked him as you sat down next to him. 

The sand was warm and welcoming, just like his smile. 

Your question made him chuckle, “I do, it’s almost fun at times. You wanna touch?” He asked, flexing his biceps for you. 

Yeji watched the scene fold from afar, noticing the immaculate timing of Jay as his bold strides carried him towards the beach. He wore shorts and a floral shirt with a few buttons opened, a pair of sunglasses completed his look. 

“I would remove that if I were you,” Karina spoke up from behind him, pointing at his shirt. 

He looked at her in question when Yeji decided to pop out from his other side, “listen loverboy, look upfront,” she said, pointing at you with Jaemin, “your opponent is strong, look she’s poking his biceps—oh damn they’re big. Anyways, you have to step up,” she nodded, agreeing with herself. 

This was a site Jay was not ready to see so early in the morning, “guess you’re right,” he muttered out, jaw clenched as he swiftly removed his shirt, throwing it on the deckchair with your bags as he made his way towards you. 

Yeji watched it with a smirk, high fiving Karina as they went on to grab ice creams for them to eat. 

“Good morning, princess,” Jay spoke up, extending his hand towards you, making you turn around and look up suddenly. 

“Fuck,” you muttered, eyes on his body. 

It wasn’t the first time you saw him shirtless but now that you were in the companionship of the sun, you could see every single ab of his clearly, his muscles flexing as he moved to extend his hand, which you mindlessly grabbed and he effortlessly lifted you up, pulling you closer to him, much to Jaemin’s dismay. 

“Jay,” you whispered out, clearly out of words. 

The sunglasses were a great help to him as he took in your body for the very first time. He had never seen you in such revealing clothes before, his eyes going deeper down your neck, his heart skipping a beat as he saw you wear your necklace, to your clavicle and down to your—

He stopped, knowing that this would lead to the things he can’t speak of. 

That’s how you abandoned the poor, half-made sand castle and ran after Jay, who very conveniently grabbed your phone and ran away, just so he could take you away from the devil in disguise (read: Jaemin). 

You laughed, breathing deeply as you finally snatched your phone back from Jay, who had a smirk on his annoyingly attractive face. 

“You know you’re doing this wrong,” he spoke up. 

You raised your brow, “doing what wrong, sir?” You asked. 

Calling him sir was just so you could tease him, however you did not know how much he enjoyed hearing it from your mouth. 

“We’re at this breathtakingly beautiful beach and you still haven’t gone into the water.” He looked at the endless blue in front of him. 

“In that case,” you said, “race you to water,” you laughed, running away as he smiled, running after you. 

You shivered with how cold the water felt against your warm skin as you splashed water all over Jay, who didn’t hesitate to do the same to you. 

A gasp left your mouth when he pulled you closer by wrapping his arm around your waist just when you tried to run away, whispering right into your ear, “you can’t run for me, princess.” 

The statement was enough to evoke deep desires in you as you looked back to stare into his honey eyes, realizing how close your faces were to each other, his eyes flickering down to look at your lips. You cleared your throat, stepping back, feeling as if your body was set on fire with how warm it had gotten in the span of five seconds. 

“Let’s go and play—dodgeball?” You asked, not looking at his face. 

He chuckled, “let’s go, princess.” 

The exchange was something you couldn’t get out of your head no matter how hard you tried but playing dodgeball did help you take your mind off it, not to mention your friends soon joined you and your team won, courtesy of Jay, who couldn’t take his eyes off you. 

The time went by in a flash, it was almost time for your lunch, which was arranged beautifully just by the patio of the resort. You had showered and changed into new clothes, which included shorts and a top. 

Jay came down to sit next to you for lunch, dropping a cute shell on your lap which he found on the beach, making you smile softly as you took it in your hand, looking at Jay fondly. You were running out of patience, you just wanted to kiss him. 

“That’s so precious,” you whispered. 

“That’s why it’s yours,” Jay whispered back, placing his hand on your bare, warm thigh. 

“What are you doing?” You asked, eyes widening, yet he didn’t give you an answer, his focus solely on eating. 

“Jay,” you called him out again, only for his grip to tighten, causing you to gasp out loud as your stomach fluttered with butterflies. 

You tried to focus on eating, you really did, but your mind was elsewhere, and so, to teach him a lesson, you decided to take revenge. You stood up, smirking at him who only looked at you with a pout, an expression of betrayal on his face. 

You made sure to stay in between your girls as you went out shopping, who were more than ready to be with you, almost laughing when they saw Jay approaching you. 

“Uh no, mister. It’s our turn to spend time with her,” Karina says, making you smile. 

“Besides, the boys are waiting for you,” Yeji pointed out at Yeonjun and his friends. 

You winked at Jay, linking arms with your friends as you walked away. 

Jay groaned, “dude, where have you been?” Yeonjun asked. 

“Right? I have barely seen him around,” Beomgyu said and Jay only looked at you, pouting. 

On the other hand, you were talking about him as your friends gushed about him getting you a necklace. 

“He is so whipped, I won't be surprised if he gets you a whole diamond set at this point,” Karina said and you laughed lightly, paying for the two tops you picked up from the thrift store. 

“Now that would be costly,” Yeji said. 

“Does it matter? He’s rich, rich,” Karina said, making you and Yeji both look up at her in shock. 

“What?” You exclaimed conjointly. 

“What? You guys didn’t know that?” She asked, frowning. 

“Why does he live in a rented apartment then?” Yeji asked, eyes still wide as you tried to process this information. 

“Something in the lines of being independent, I’ve seen him at the parties though, he doesn’t seem to be too fond of his parents,” she told you.  

“Wow, I had no clue about this,” you said, worried that him being of completely different status would be a complication. 

Suddenly it all made sense, how he paid for the hotel, how he didn’t hesitate to buy anything for the group and how he was always clad in luxurious clothing. 

“Don’t worry, he’s practically whipped for you,” Karina stated and you smiled slightly, looking at a delicate necklace which looked ethereal to you. 

You were really whipped for him too. 

“Y/n!” You heard Jay’s voice calling out your name, making you turn around with a smile. 

Everyone else was in their room already, while you had stayed back to help Professor Min with the budget calculations of the day, making you stay back for a few minutes more. Now, you stood in front of your room, Jay approaching you with a tiny paper bag in his hand, which he wordlessly handed over to you, making you look up at him in question. 

“What’s this?” You asked, opening it in front of him. 

You found a box inside the bag, which contained the very same necklace you had been staring at during your visit at the shopping centre. 

You breathed out softly, looking up at him to see his red cheeks, “you really are my stalker,” you laughed, looking at the box again, which flustered him even more. 

It was a sight to see Jay blushing, he oozed confidence, yet you knew how much of a softie he could be. 

“I wasn’t being creepy, really. I just saw you looking at it,” he explained, trying to defend himself. 

“I love it.” Your smile was so genuine, it made his heart beat faster, even more so when you stood up on your tiptoes, mustering all your courage to give him a featherlight kiss on his jaw, “thank you, love.” 

You used his own nickname on him, the expression on his face was priceless, making you want to click a picture of him, of how red his face was, “good night, Jay.” 

You winked at him, leaving him standing there, speechless. 

If anyone dared you to stop smiling, then you would fail without question. It was intriguing how your cheeks didn’t hurt even though you had been smiling since last night, you probably even slept with a smile on your face. You and Jay quietly exchanged glances during the entirety of breakfast time. 

“Okay, what’s going on?” Karina asked, sitting next to you in the bus as it was the last day of your trip, and you were heading to the amusement park for the day. 

“What do you mean?” You asked, trying to act normal. 

“I mean, why have you been giving each other the look? And why is he staring at me? Am I not allowed to sit with you now?” She asked  

“What do you mean ‘the look’? And of course you should sit with me,” you told her, resting your head on her shoulder. 

“The look, like you’ve fucked,” she smirked. 

“God! No that’s not it,” you said, not knowing whether to laugh or cry at her assumptions, “nothing happened.”

“It will happen soon, don’t you worry,” she winked at you. 

“We’re here!” Your professor announced, and you looked out of the window to see how cool it looked, the theme seemed to be ‘castles’, making it look twice as grand as it was. 

Jay simply wanted to spend his day with you, however his friends were adamant that he spends his day with them. You got your passes and entered to see happy faces all around, a chuckle leaving your mouth when you saw Yeonjun dragging Jay along with him. 

“Where do we start?” You asked with a smile. 

That was just the question to ask, your friends dragging you to bumper cars, you lost count of the number of times Yeji bumped into your car before you set off to the virtual reality rides, and later to the carousels. 

You rode the carousels twice, posing for the pictures alongside as you tried to capture the heartfelt experience where you felt like a kid all over again. Half of the day had passed by and you couldn’t lie, you missed seeing a certain someone. 

Just then, a hand grabbed your wrist and pulled you in the Photo Booth, your eyes widening, your first instinct was to scream, but you stopped to see that it was none other than Jay. 

“Jay?” You spoke out loud. 

“Shhh, Yeonjun is probably searching for me right now,” he spoke, almost scared as if they kept him captive. 

You looked at him, “let’s get a picture till they go away,” you said, pointing at the Photo Booth. 

He let you put cat ears on him, along with pink glasses which made him look cute, however, he did whine about it, but took pictures with you nevertheless, pulling you closer, smiling and soon, laughing with you.

After printing two sets of your pictures, you handed one over to him, grabbing his hands naturally and dragging him to get matching headbands. If any stranger would have looked at you two, they would have easily assumed you to be a couple with how you were behaving like one. 

“The sunset looks so pretty,” you whispered, looking at the sky which was a mixture of orange, yellow and red hues. 

Jay nodded, his eyes solely on you. 

The noise of Jay’s phone ringing grabbed your attention, you smiled at him, urging him to pick up the call and he excused himself for a minute. You took this time to sit down at the nearby bench, looking at the ferris wheel, which you wanted to ride with Jay. You hadn’t thought that he would become so dear to you, maybe it was because he was so caring, so selfless and sweet to you. 

He came back after a few minutes, a look of distress on his face, “hey, what’s wrong?” You asked, worried about him and only smiled at you. 

“It’s nothing, everything’s fine, princess,” he spoke up. 

“Why? Don’t wanna tell your problems to your enemy?” You teased him, getting an actual snicker out of him. 

“It’s just that—my mom, she’s not very accepting of me spending my time doing things other than studying, which also includes me being on this trip,” he said, “so she called me to remind me that I’m wasting my time,” he told you, upset about this situation. 

“Does being here make you happy?” You asked him, eyes sparkling as you looked at the sunset. 

“It makes me the happiest I’ve ever been,” he answered in a beat, deep down knowing that it wasn’t the trip, it was you who made him happy. 

“That’s it then! Forget about the negatives, don’t think about your mom, the trip is almost over. Instead, be here, live in the moment and ride the ferris wheel with me,” you beamed at him. 

It was that easy for you to make Jay smile, just like that, he extended his hand and you both made your way towards the ride, where the line was growing by second as everyone wished to see the sunset from the top, but you were quicker. 

One compartment catered two people, which suited to be perfect for you and Jay as you sat with your knees touching. It took around five minutes for everyone to settle in turn by turn and your ride was approximately seven minutes long, as written on the information board. 

You took out your phone to capture the view of the whole park, which was visible as you went higher up in the sky, “Y/n,” Jay whispered out, looking at you with intensity. 

Your breath hitched when you saw him glancing at your lips, he couldn’t hold his desire any longer, it was the perfect opportunity, the perfect spot. 

He leaned in, his hand coming to rest on your cheeks, his fingertips tracing the contours of your cheek, and you leaned into his touch, your breath hitching with anticipation as his nose brushed against yours. 

“I won’t be able to hold myself back any longer,” he whispered, lips almost brushing against yours, tentative at first. 

“Don’t then—” you whispered, but were cut off. 

With a gentle tilt of your head, Jay pulled you closer, closing the distance between you two. Your lips met in a collision of passion, warmth and longing as they tenderly explored each other. 

Time became irrelevant as he deepened the kiss, cradling your face in his hands. A loud sound of firecrackers bursting made you both stop, breathing hard as you looked out of the window, finding yourself on the top of the Ferris wheel with the onset of fireworks, which were said to be the highlight of the day at the amusement park. 

However, Jay was restless, “you look so fucking pretty,” he said as the pretty colours of the fireworks made your face shine, and without further ado, he took off his specs in a go before he connected his lips to yours again, it was gentle yet possessive, your lips tingling, your senses heightening as he sent shivers of pleasure down your spine. 

You broke the kiss to breathe, resting your forehead on his, eyes meeting each other as he said, “I think I’m falling for you,” he intertwines your fingers with his, “when you’re around, I feel alive. Our every exchange makes me want to know you more, to be around you and forget about everything that weighs me down.”

“I like you so fucking much, Jay,” you whisper, making him smile out of pleasure, “I like it as you pout when you study, or how you care about others so deeply, about how you buy the whole stack of Coca Cola or how you love eating corn—”

He kissed you swiftly, smiling into the kiss as you reached the bottom of the ferris wheel, your hearts beating in sync as you came out of the ride hand in hand. 

“Y/n! I’ve been searching for you all day!” A voice called out, making your head turn to look at a very jolly Jaemin. 

Jay could already feel his mood turning sour at his entrance, it only turned worse when Jay saw Jaemin getting close to you, his usual smile radiant as he picked up a fallen eyelash from your cheek. 

It was the same thing Jay did a few days back, his blood boiled seeing some other boy do the same for you, he couldn’t take it while you tried your best to get away from Jaemin soon by blowing on your lash, which he kept on his finger. 

You couldn’t find Jay when you opened your eyes again, when in reality, he was the only one who had wished for on your lash. Jaemin looked at you, confused as you ran away, trying to find Jay, only to get a text from him. 

My enemy:

Hot tub, tonight at 10 

That’s all it said and your lip quivered, hoping that he wasn’t upset with you because of Jaemin. 

Only time would tell. 

It was heartbreaking enough to not see Jay on the bus with you, while you used that time to fill in your friends about what had happened, leaving out the part where Jay disappeared into nowhere, they both squealed and encouraged you to take it a step further. 

You didn’t see him at dinner either. 

Since it was the last day, everyone was up and making the most of it. You had to get to the hot tub, which was at the top floor, a private area, as you gathered by asking in the front lobby. Seeing how you had to go to the tub, you decided to wear your other bikini under your shirt and shorts.

You didn’t know what to expect. 

Opening the door to your room, you looked out to see if anyone was in the corridor before you walked out, however, you had to wait for five minutes as some girls stood outside, talking and laughing with each other. 

When you saw the clear coast, you speed-walked towards the lift, pressing the button of the top floor as you tried to keep your breathing in check. 

Kissing Jay was something that had you dazed, but his disappearance made you anxious. You bit your lip when the door opened and you walked towards the private area, which was concealed with a wall. You asked the guard about it and he asked for your name in return, opening the door when you told him so. 

Stepping in, you saw a large hot tub covered with fairy lights and dainty white curtains. More importantly, you saw Jay, shirtless, resting with his eyes closed, his head tilted back which gave you the full view of his neck and torso. 

He looked beautiful. 

You didn’t wish to disturb him so you quietly took off your clothes, leaving you in your bikini as you entered the hot tub. That caught Jay’s attention as he looked up and right into your eyes. 

Your heartbeat rose, his eyes looked darker than ever as he sat like royalty. He looked perfect even with his hair wet, your eyes particularly focusing on that one water droplet cascading down his jawline, to his neck and down his chest. 

“Jay,” you whispered, walking towards him as the water came up to your chest level. The tub was big indeed. 

He simply stared at you, eyes taking your body in as he bit his lower lip, pulling your wrist, making you lose your balance as you landed on his lap, hands pressed against his chest as you tried to maintain your balance. Your whole body warmed up, the warm water only adding to it, juxtaposing the slightly colder air, which made the curtains sway mildly. 

He only pulled you closer, his pointed nose brushing against yours before he grabbed your chin, making you look him in the eyes, “do you like it?” He asks through clenched teeth, his voice a tone deeper. 

“Like what?” You whispered, your stomach fluttering at your propinquity. 

“Making me jealous,” he almost growled out, wrapping his arm around your waist, changing the positions so your body was slightly tilted and pressed against his wet and bare torso, “Jaemin might look like it but we both fucking know he can’t give you want you want, darling,” he whispers, sending tingles down your lower abdomen. 

His hand trailed up, travelling between the valley of your breasts, “y’know I’m not the jealous type, princess,” he says, his fingers wrapping around your neck, “but what’s mine is mine.” His deep voice was enough to have your cunt throbbing. 

Suddenly, you were pulled into a deep kiss, his hand keeping you in place, his other hand grasped your waist, making you sit above his crotch. He deepened the kiss, amplifying the sensations as you whined into his mouth, driving him crazy with hunger that knew no bounds. 

“See how your body reacts to my touch,” he hummed with pride, right against your lips, your eyes closed shut with how intoxicated you felt. 

His fingers left your neck, brushing against your skin as they played with the strap of your bikini, his lips attacking your neck with needy kisses, “fuck! I’ve wanted this ever since I saw you in the bikini yesterday,” he spoke up.  

A gasp left your mouth when he squeezed your tits with his big hand, “Jay—”

“That’s right, darling. Moan out my name,” he cooed, looking at how your body was like putty in his arms. 

You looked him right in the eye, cheeks hot and water slightly moving with your movement, “want you so much,” you breathed out, wrapping your arms around his neck, pressing yourself on his semi hardened cock which was still clothed. 

“Good. Cause I’m not planning to stop anymore,” he chuckled, pressing you down harder on him before he swiftly changed your positions, water making it even easier for you to move around. 

You leaned back against his broad shoulder, your back flush against his hard chest, his arm encasing your waist, “don’t stop,” you breathed in after a beat of silence. 

“Tell me who you want, doll,” he ordered, the vibrations of his chest, of his throat made your body shiver as he spoke directly into your ear, hand inching towards your lower abdomen, tracing the expanse of it as he waited for your reply. 

“You! Only you, Jay,” you trailed out, rolling his name off your tongue in perfect harmony. 

Your anticipation only grew from here as his fingers landed on your inner thigh, toying with the string of your panties which held it in place, “that’s right, only I get to do this to my doll.” 

He pulled on the string from both sides, getting rid of your panties as his fingertips brushed against your folds, making you arch your back with the pleasure seeping into you, the warm water enhanced the feel. 

It didn’t take him long to ease one of his fingers inside you, and you couldn’t contain your noises anymore as he thrusted it in and out of you, finding his pace as he added another finger to it. 

He tilted his face which rested on your shoulder to suck on your neck, licking it up as your eyes rolled back with the feeling of bliss taking over you. His fingers were big and so thick, his hard on poking at your ass made you wonder how thick his cock would be. 

“More,” you whined, chest heaving up and down as his other hand cupped your tits, massaging it and pinching your nipples. 

“Yeah? Doll wants more of me?” He grinned, his thumb applying more pressure to your clit, “tell me what you want, darling.” 

He continued fucking your pussy with his fingers, whilst leaving bruises on your neck as he marked you, possessiveness clear in his actions. 

“Want you,” you breathed out, clenching around his fingers, “in me.”

“Fuck!” He pulled you up hastily to get rid of his shorts, throwing it on the ground, out of the tub as you turned back yet again to wrap your arms around his shoulders, sitting above his hard cock as you rubbed your folds along his length. 

He pulled you in for a rough kiss, the one that left you breathless and you could only think about how hot he looked, a groan leaving his mouth as you tugged on his hair. 

You looked up at him with innocent eyes, your body all wet as you nibbled on his ear, trying to make up for him being jealous, “I belong to you,” you whispered, his tip was right on your entrance as the misty steam filled up your surroundings. 

Jay couldn’t wait anymore, he grabbed your hips to keep you in place and thrusted right up, filling you full of his cock. A loud moan escaped your lips as he began thrusting up, slow but powerful. 

“So fucking tight,” he spoke in between your lewd moans. 

His grip only got tighter as he bucked his hips up to meet yours as you pushed yourself down on his cock, which rubbed the walls of your core deliciously, reaching the deepest spots into you. 

You couldn’t stop kissing him and you were sure your lips were swollen by now. Crying out in pleasure, you panted as he leaned down to suck on your nipples, providing you the utmost pleasure. 

He admired your face, your body as you screamed out for him in the cool night air. He never thought that he’d take you in a hot tub for the very first time, but he couldn’t help his jealousy. He wanted you, he wanted all of you. 

“No one’s gonna fuck you like this, only me,” he smirked, push you down on him as you felt a fiery sensation down your abdomen and you were so close to your high, and the way Jay twitched inside you told you that he was close too. 

“I’m so—oh my god!” You moaned as he bit your neck. 

“Go on, princess,” he whispered against your skin. 

The water sloshed with your movements as your pace increased, until you felt a familiar knot in your stomach, causing you to clench around him helplessly. 

You chanted his name, your core tightened as you fell apart on his cock, reaching the state of pure ecstasy as he kissed you, biting on your lip as he filled you up with his cum. 

You both stilled, breathing in deeply before Jay looked at you with soft, sincere eyes. 

“You’re mine,” he said. 

“And you’re mine,” you smiled, kissing him softly. 

Jay had decided to help you walk you to your room, seeing how your legs felt like jelly and to your luck, the corridor was empty. But he didn’t go back to his room, instead, he came inside your room, locking the door and helping you get into the bathroom. 

He laughed seeing how flustered you were as he didn’t leave your side for even a second, helping you clean off, his hands roaming around to touch you everywhere , which was enough to get you needy once again as he wrapped your legs around his waist and fucked you right under the shower.

You couldn’t get enough of him, and vice versa. Your heart felt full when he made you sit in front of him to dry your hair, his face devoid of anger now as he pouted with concentration. 

You leaned in and pecked him softly, the action made him blush and you wondered how he could be so intense yet so adorable in the span of an hour. 

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” he whispered, kissing your forehead and holding you close now that you were on the bed together. 

You gulped, “you’ll be here, right?” You asked him, vulnerability showing as you fiddled with your fingers. 

“I’m not leaving you, princess,” he said, “I want you to be my girlfriend.”

He took out a ring from his pocket, making your eyes water at how he truly did everything to make you happy, and yet again, he wanted to seal it as a promise. 

“I know a ring might be too much, but Y/n, I want it, I want us to happen,” he told you. 

You took his name in a whisper, looking at him with teary eyes as you wrapped your arms around him, before pulling him into a kiss, saying “yes.”

A series of kisses all over your face successfully woke you up with a giggle as Jay caged you in his arms, rubbing his nose on your cheek, “good morning, girlfriend,” he said, kissing your hand where you wore his ring. 

You kissed his neck, “good morning, boyfriend.” 

It felt unreal as he pulled you to him, both of you smiling from ear to ear, not once trying to contain it. 

Turns out, Jay indeed had planned on driving you home with him, he was a dedicated boyfriend already as he helped you pick out your clothes, even doing your hair as you told him to. He even added a little bow to it, calling you his princess. 

You sat down in his car, not putting on the seatbelt on purpose only for Jay to shake his head, “you’re so cute,” he said, grabbing the belt but not before he kissed you and helped you buckle in. 

His hand settled on your thigh and he was so affectionate throughout your journey back, not to mention how he spent a few minutes making out with you on his lap when you stopped for lunch. 

He almost threw a tantrum, whining that he wanted to sleep with you when you reached your apartment, but you had to stop him, promising that he’ll get to do it soon. 

Yeji wasn’t surprised when you told her that you were now dating Jay, but she made sure to run across the hall, and into Jay’s apartment to give him a lecture about treating you well as you could only stand back and laugh at his earnest expression and constant nodding. 

You both were called to university the next day, Professor Jung looking at you with a small smile on his lips which made you both look at each other in question. 

“I know that the internship was meant for only one student, however,” he said, stopping for a dramatic effect, “you both got the internship!” 

You squealed, jumping up as you refrain yourself from hugging Jay on the spot as you both bowed down to thank your professor, who was beaming at his favourite students. 

He told you the details, telling you how the internship would last a whole month and you both would be working together during the summer break. 

You walked out of his office, walking with a considerable distance between you both before Jay pulled you in an empty classroom and kissed you, “told you you’d get it, baby.” 

He gave you butterflies every damn time. 

That night, he took you out for dinner and you told him everything about your life, about your parents and your town, while he told you about how his mom had called in earlier to show her distaste about Jay working at a company that’s not theirs. 

His mood was ruined, and so you sneaked into his bedroom to hold him to sleep, his eyes shining when he saw you in your fluffy shorts. 

He was falling in love with you. 

Just as you were falling in love with him. 

Your hearts were intertwined, each day felt like it was something to look forward to, his simple gestures and your shared experiences grew further, filling your life with joy and bliss. 

The next one month was something you’d describe as adventurous. It was amazing enough that Jay willingly made breakfast for you, and dressed you up as you helped him with his tie before you left for your internship, but Jay was restless even there. 

He was hardworking and everyone acknowledged you both for it, however he was one to take risks when he silently dragged you with him to the emergency staircase area. 

“Missed you so much,” he whispered, mumbling against your lips, as you let him hold you for as long as he wanted to. 

“You’re adorable, Mr. Park,” you teased, as that’s what they referred to Jay as in the office, “now let’s go before someone finds us here.”

“One more minute, princess,” he says, hiding his face in your nape. 

Jay felt more affectionate than ever, simply never wishing to let go of you. 

It was raining by the time you reached back your apartments, and you dragged Jay out in the rain, “dance with me,” you smiled and he shook his head with your cuteness. 

Nevertheless, he followed you, holding on to your waist as he started humming a tune, while both of you danced without any care in this world, soon coming closer to kiss each other. 

You wanted to freeze time, you never wanted this moment to be over. It was perfect, Jay was perfect. The world often seemed chaotic to you, it was laced with uncertainty, but in that world, Jay came and became your pillar of certainty. He gave you hope, he took care of you, which made you want to do the same, twice as much for him. 

You never wanted this to end, and you most certainly did not know what was to come. 

It was your one month anniversary with Jay. Needless to say, he didn’t let you sleep much at night, confessing how much he adores you by showing you the same. You wanted to tell him you loved him, it was on the tip of your tongue, not knowing Jay wanted to do the very same but he saved it for tonight. He was going to take you out for dinner, he had planned it all. 

But the sudden knocking of his apartment door woke you up, knowing that it wasn’t Taehyun as he had gone back to his hometown for vacations. Jay woke up with a groan and got dressed to see who it was, not knowing that you had woken up too, following him out as you stood behind the wall, accidentally overhearing the conversation. 

“M—mom? What are you doing here?” Jay stuttered and your eyes widened as you peeked in to see a lady who’s persona screamed rich as she was clad in expensive clothes and held a cold gaze. 

“No, son. What are you doing?” She asked, emphasizing on you, “you have a girlfriend now?” She scoffed and your heart broke seeing Jay look so distressed. 

“So what? I’m doing everything you want me to do, I’m studying, I’m taking extra classes and learning about our company,” he listed out, voice broken. 

“No. The only reason I allowed you to stay here was because I thought you would study,” she sounded disappointed, “but yet you’re fooling around with a girl? A middle class girl at that!” She exclaimed and you heard Jay raise his voice for the first time. 

“Don’t fucking talk about her!” He screamed. 

Your eyes were watering. This is exactly what you had feared, that it was too good to be true. 

“Don’t you dare raise your voice at me,” his mother warned him, “you’re far too gone, Jay. Me and your father have decided to send you to America where you’ll take over the subsidiary branch as the CEO.”

You bit your wrist to not let any voice out as your tears flowed freely. Jay was leaving. He had to leave. 

“And you’re breaking up with that girl,” she said. 

“No! I love her,” Jay cried out.

You felt hollow inside, he loved you, you loved him, and yet the universe couldn’t let you be together. 

“This is just a warning, do it before I get you engaged to someone of our level. You want her to be safe, don’t you?” She asked, voice sweet as she wiped Jay’s tears. 

“Just do what I say, you’ll leave in two days, I expect to see you back at your place by tonight.” That was all Mrs. Park said before closing the door and leaving you both alone. 

“Jay?” Your voice was a mere whisper but he heard it, looking back at you with bloodshot eyes. 

“Princess,” he cried out, coming over to hug you as he freely sobbed on your shoulder, “I don’t want to go, I want you, I just want you,” he said in between his cries and you only held him tighter. 

“It’s okay—” you tried to calm him down despite not being able to breathe yourself. 

“It’s not—I hate that woman, I have never been happy before, you’re my happiness,” he said, breathing hard. 

“I love you,” you whispered. You had to let him know you did, despite everything going downhill. 

He cried out, “I love you, I love you so fucking much,” he confessed, “I’m so sorry,” he took a deep breath, “I will come back for you.” 

You hid your face, knowing that it won't be easy. 

“You’ll come to see me off at the airport, right?” He asked. 

You kissed him, “of course I will.” 

Then you both realized that you weren’t his girlfriend anymore, nor was he your boyfriend. 

You didn’t know how long you stayed in that position, in each other’s arms but you knew he had to go with how his phone was ringing with his mother’s call. 

He pulled you in a deep kiss, “I love you,” he whispered against your lips as you tasted the salty tears of you both. 

“I love you, Jay,” you said. 

And you both meant it. 

You couldn’t eat or sleep the next day, your mind restless as you could not stop yourself from breaking down each time you thought of him, Yeji and Karina tried their best to help but you barely could speak. 

Jay was gone. 

You had gotten ready, even wearing the red scarf he loved so much to see him off, not knowing that his mom had sent him off already. 

That’s when you realized it was truly over for you both. 

His parents were rich, belonging to an entirely different world, it wasn’t something you could fight or get across. So you let your tears fall until you felt numb, your heart physically hurting. You kept his blue handkerchief with you to wipe your tears. 

You had lost him. 

You sat in his dark grey sweatshirt, missing him as you looked out at the rain falling down, reminding you of your trip, and of him dancing with you right there. University became monotonous again, you were grateful for your friends but you also swore to yourself. 

To never fall in love again. 

People say heartbreak takes time to heal, but one can only take so much. You fell back into your old routine of going to university with your friends and coming back only to devote your whole time to studying. 

Your family was more worried than ever, as you didn’t spend much time talking to them, you hadn’t told them about Jay, now there was nothing more to tell. 

And that’s how you spent your one year, with no sign of Jay. You assumed that his parents would have kept a tab on it too. Maybe it was your reminder to not stay hung up and look forward to different opportunities of growth and renewal. Love gave you immense joy, but also brought back home the feeling of profound pain. 

You finally felt happiness again when you graduated, because you left the place filled with those memories and returned back to your home. 

“Is that a ring in your finger?” Kitty, your little sister, asked you and that’s when you realized that you never took it off. 

Until you did, putting it inside the letter you decided to write for him, sitting at your old study table. 

The one letter which won't reach Jay, ever. 

Dear Park Jongseong,

The first name that ever came to my mind when I saw you was warm prince. I was new, I was lost and you came my way, filling me up with familiar warmth, assuring me with just a smile. It was long before you started calling me your princess. Guess you were my prince from day one. 

I know exactly the day it started, it was lecture number three, room seven forty, in professor Jung’s class when we were told about the internships. Maybe it was just me who took you as a rival, while all you gathered from the situation was an opportunity to tease me, to teach me and help me through and through. 

You know I love horror movies, but if it came down to you, I’d drop it in a heartbeat just to keep you safe in my arms. I helped you once and you made it your life mission to help me undeniably. 

Tell me Jay, did your heart beat as fast as mine when you hugged me at the party? You called me pretty so easily, and I stayed up thinking about it for nights. All eyes were on you at that party, but your eyes never left mine. It seemed to me that you wanted me just as much as I wanted you. 

I didn’t know when it started but you didn’t break my walls, instead, you climbed in and helped me break it with your help. When you kissed me at the ferris wheel, it felt like destiny. It only turned into a Disney movie when fireworks graced us with their presence. I was falling in love with you already. 

Every second I spent with you felt like the best, you were the best, you always have been Jay. Maybe that’s why I can’t seem to remove this ring from my finger, because I can’t admit it’s over. 

I want us to dance in the rain again, to sneak out again. I want to see your face when I wake up the first thing in the morning and the last thing before I go to sleep. 

You gave me everything, Jay. But you never told me how to live without you. You never told me it would break me to see you cry, you never told me that you’ll make me fall in love with you and then you’ll have to leave. 

Maybe one day we’ll be able to meet, maybe we’ll get to talk about ourselves. Till then, take care of yourself for me, baby. I love you, and I always will. 

Love,

The girl who was your rival. 

What you did not know was that Jay too had impulsively written a letter while missing you, which he couldn’t send. 

Dear Y/n,

To say I miss you would be an understatement, especially when all I can do is think about you. It’s been a year since I’ve seen you, not a day goes by that I wish I could come back and be with you. I still remember the day we met, the first thing that came to my mind was how you look like a princess with prettiest face. You looked lost, and it simply made me want to be your guide forever. I never saw you as a rival, deep inside, I wanted you to win everything. And you did. You won my heart. 

You helped me escape that movie, acting as if it was nothing. It meant everything to me, you were starting to mean everything to me. The very next day, you blew my mind by coming to that party. You looked heavenly. It might have been childish of me, yet I wanted your attention. So I made it my duty to tease you. 

I had never been to that convenience store before the day I saw you working there. You might be right about me being a stalker, but hey, I’m your personal stalker. I wanted to know everything about you. My heart broke when I saw you working when you were clearly sick, you really should rest more, princess. 

A little confession: I had woken up right on time for our trip, but I didn’t wake you up. It was selfish of me, I wanted to spend time with you, I wanted us to go there together, and so, I let you sleep through it all. I don’t regret it one bit. 

My favourite part of the trip was you. It warmed my heart to see you search for me, to see you smile at me, to kiss you, to touch you. I felt happier than ever with you, princess. 

I’ll work hard for you, I’ll work hard and become independent as a CEO and I’ll win your heart right back, princess. 

Till then, take care of yourself. I love you, I always will. 

Love, 

The boy who was your rival.

THANK YOU FOR READING <3

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[louroth]

Hello everyone :> 

It's been a month! it's incredible how much my life has changed- while I'm still adjusting I'm just...still walking on clouds. it feels unreal. the patreon took off and I can almost make a living wage on it which is frankly fucking insane, and the discord is so vibrant it scared me for a moment (not anymore- shooting the shit with the people there is the favorite part of my day, even if I sometimes just leave a trail of emotes lskjdhajksdhkjasd.) I couldn't have asked for a better community. YES I am crying about it. Thank you, so, so much. I am cradling your face in my hands. crying.

But as always, enough of my bleeding heart. Let's get to it!

The first two weeks after posting the update, I took a sort of quasi vacation and only wrote a handful of story-words each day, and spent some time fooling around in the discord + brushed off my smut archive to refine for Patreon. There are already 4 stories up, and a new one coming tomorrow- though I haven't decided yet whether it will be possessive/jealous L sfw short or one very nasty short where you come across a particularly insistent species of vines while trekking the forest. hehe. we'll see. >:3

But, even though I had to rest not to combust after work, I am very pleased to say that the next chapter is coming along great, with the skeleton finished for its entirety, and about 45% and some change already written (it's very hard to gauge because I jump around a lot when I write.) This is the final chapter before the forest, filled with action and the heart wrenching drama of offering tenderness to a certain someone, and deciding for your hunter when enough is truly enough. I have teared up writing certain scenes and I genuinely cannot wait for you to experience this next part yourselves. 

It is so funny reading things I wrote for this chapter six months ago, or longer, because I knew exactly what emotions I wanted to bake in and couldn't really nail it, but now it is coming together beautifully! Sure, it will still be wonky first draft writing, but the core is there and that is all that matters for now. I'm saying soon™ for the update for now, because I am allowing myself to adapt to writing full time- I didn't quit my job to become my own nightmare boss, and I truly want to enjoy this process. I think, in the long run, it will result in a better story. Patience is my mantra. All in due time- I cannot force quality creative work. But by everything wretched and sinful, I cannot wait to share this next part with you!!! I'm frothing at the mouth!!!

In other news, y'all. I need to get organized. I get heartburn thinking about all the different variations of files and notes and notebooks and scraps of paper and variables and branches of plot and just generally, the things to keep track of is getting to the point of a dragon hoard of scary 'oh no I forgot about that part'. I'm gritting my teeth through it until this chapter is out, but after it, I am going to spend some time to

 1) get my shit together in gorgeous, beautiful spreadsheets

2) get serious about finding beta- and proofreaders. (me @ u: 🥺)

But that's it, my friends! I scrapped an entire progress report because I started sounded corporate and listing points which was just... sad. I really hope I evolve into writing these in a more fun way, which would make them more fun for you to read too! But for now, I think this will do. I hope you have a beautiful day/night, and if you would like to see more in depth dev-logs of my writing life, or random sneak peeks, I post those weekly on patreon!

Or join our discord, which. It's just the nicest place, I can't even come up with words that do it justice. It's my favorite daily newspaper.

Until next time! x

[residentalienfan69dodoobuttballs]

I LOVE THE ALIEN BIRD YURI YIPIEEEE !! THEY ARE THE CUTEST THINGGG !!!!!!! 💙💜

Harry's first real love interest being an AVIAN is the absolute amazing, silliest thing EVER. The running joke, during the entirety of the show, of Harry being attracted to Avians actually being made into a relevant plotline is the most resident alien thing I could even think of bro. So rewarding for the viewer how they followed through with it instead of it just being a bunch of throw away lines !! It just speaks to how amazing the writing in this show is. It never stops surprising me, I love a story where every little detail is relevant and connected. (And I love surprises) IT'S SO GOOD. !!!

And they have the best, funniest chemistry dude. During their weird makeout scene I had to remember that these are actually actors doing this in front of a camera because it just felt so believable and real lmfaooo. 😭🙏 These actors are so amazing. I'm so impressed with everyone's performance in this show, it all feels so realistic; despite all the crazy alien shit constantly going on. (Especially with D'Arcys portrayal, she's actually my favorite character lmfao. Sorry Harry love youuu.)

I am soooo so glad they didn't do the "guy character is obviously attracted to woman female woman character but makes it really weird and it's uncomfortable and the "comedy" is how uncomfortable the woman is and how pushy the guy is." ...Trope. I was so worried about it when Heather was first introduced bc it's such an easy grasp at comedy that SOOO many shows are guilty of. It felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders when it was the exact opposite !!!. Making it a mutual crush had me literally kicking and giggling and jumping for joy, it's so cute and silly. The divergence of expectations just gerrr I eat it the fuck up every time. More cute and silly weird aliens in love please.

Ik people are put off by the instant puppy love but believe me. Instant puppy love is some real powerful shit y'all. I have felt that FIRST HAND !!! Plus I'm just a sucker for corny, cheesy romance in general. Whaaat I won't lie...I looooove bitches being cringe together, it's the most freeing thing in the world. And for me, the absolute strongest element of resident alien is how the character's relationships are written. I know some crazy shit is going to go down. But I am genuinely rooting for these two !! 😁 I love how Harry doesn't have to hide or change any part of himself for her. For the first time since he's been on Earth, he's been able to be totally 100% honest with someone. He can't even do that with Asta! I think their relationship makes so much sense. Especially with Harry's longing to find another alien to relate to. (And him actually getting that !!! Ahhh !!!! I love him being happy. He was so cute this whole episode.)

They don't have to be endgame or anything, I just hope it resolves in a way that makes sense. Even if it's not exactly what I would've wanted. I just wanna see more of these two crazy freaky lovebirds (btw.... lovebirds....kind of a cute ship name huh guys...I'm just brainstorming here...lol.) gerr I am SO excited to see all the drama next episode I can barely wait I'm going to shit my pants.

[blood-teeth]

05.19.23

howdy everyone! it's been a long time since i've done one of these. also this is going to be a long post, so if you're like "i'm not reading allthat but stay safe tho" im sorry in advance.

i was going to wait until the two year anniversary of TMITAWH to post this, but i've been getting more and more asks about the status of this game, why it's on lockdown, when it's coming back, etc. largely, i've been dodging these questions or answering them with a vague "oh, i'm working on it!" which is very much the truth. just, not the entirety of it.

the truth is this: the story is done.

the real truth is this:

actually, before i get into that, i wanted to mention something else. i know i've waxed poetry over and over again and maybe it's getting annoying to hear it - so i'm very sorry - but it really is important to me to mention this because it's the motivation and the life-force behind everything that i do on this blog. i wanted to say thank you. i remember typing up the intro post to TMITAWH after getting the second COVID shot, delirious, but bolstered by a fever that had rendered me brave. i've been writing this story since 2019, i had the vision, the characters, the aesthetics and the understanding and i wanted to desperately to share. i never expected the level of support and love from so many of you. i've never had people genuinely vested in my worlds or characters. i remember getting the first comment about the prologue and slamming my computer shut and freaking out. i cried when i got my first ask telling me how much they'd love it, despite the small amount of content. the fever may have given me the courage to post it, but y'all gave me the courage to continue. and that means more to me than anything means to me in this world. for two whole years!! you've dealt with my wildly out of pocket thoughts, long absences, and have continued to show your willingness to continue the exercise in patience. i dont have people in real life that would do that for me. so thank you, thank you for being here, thank you for caring, thank you for the sweet comments. i wasn't lying when i said that i keep most asks unanswered because i go back and read them, hold the words close to my chest, and convince myself that i can do what i want to do when it comes to storytelling. thank you. forever and always. i know this feels maybe so much like im baring my soul, but i think it's important. TMITAWH saved my life. I mean that in every understanding, with the breadths and depths of my soul. I mean that with all the fibers and cells and atoms that make up me. This story saved my life. it's important to me that you know that in so many ways you all did, too.

so much of the reason i've been sitting on this is honestly mostly fear. it's choking me now as i write this. i'm scared of y'alls reaction, i'm scared of potentially disappointing anyone, and i'm scared of people just being overall pissed off. which i would get! this is not why the majority of you are following me. i'm asking for grace, for understanding, for mercy.

so, the real truth is this:

Tell Me If There's A Way Home is complete. there's a beginning, of sort, a middle, an end. but, it is not complete in the way you might expect an IF to be complete.

this is, simply, because Tell Me If There's A Way Home has been re-written and re-formatted into a novel.

over this past year, i was struggling with the story. things had along the way stopped making sense. this WAS the story i wanted to tell, i knew what had to happen in order to get the whole point of it across. is it better to get back what you've lost, what does it look like when you do get it back? but there was something that wasn't working. i could force the scenes, have The Traveler spend time with Cain in his little house talking about his past, or provide the option to explore the peaks of a mountain looking for a legend of old. i could do all this. but it was all wrong. the story had become corrupted along the way and the vision of it that i held onto so desperately was fading into obscurity.

so i opened a new word document and just wrote. i wrote for a whole year, and the story unveiled itself to be in the way i believe it was always supposed to. i understand so much more of this story than i did two years ago. sitting at 90k words, book 1 is officially done. it's essentially the same story you all had read, but different somehow. more than it ever could have been in an IF format. there are the characters you love. there's cain. there's silas. alice of course. there's the traveler as *her* own character. and there's the reverie. but the reverie is no longer Ezio/Elena. it's just elena now. its beautiful, gorgeous elena with her quick smile and hemlock eyes and her memories.

what happens now?

i'll be spending the next few months making the book as perfect as i can make it. i've been working through the rough draft - or alpha draft- and then i will ask some people to see if they want to read draft 2, draft 3 , draft 4. however many drafts it takes until i feel as though i can do no more. after this, i'll query agents and pray to god that in the hellscape publishing is in right now that im offered representation. after this, i'll pray to god that an editor likes the book enough to want to work with me on it. after this, i'll pray to god that a publishing house likes the book enough to buy it, put in on shelves. there's going to be a lot of praying to god. a lot of luck. so i think it'll be a while before anybody gets to hold the book in their hands, but god i hope y'all get to. i really hope you get to. more than that. i hope you want to.

after all of this, i'll be working on book 2. i already have the title. i already have the first chapter. i know exactly what happens and how.

i know there's maybe some confusion, so please feel free to send me asks about it. i will happily and gladly answer what i can and discuss it.

i'm so so sorry for the long post. this all felt important to mention and it felt important to be transparent with y'all. this was becoming a secret too hard to keep and i'm glad that i dont have to anymore. i hope you're not mad, disappointed, etc. that would really suck ass. i hope you're excited, maybe. i hope you're curious.

anyway. thank you for getting this far, if you did. thank you. i love you. i'll talk to you soon <3

[soaps-mohawk]

Not so much of a question but I want to let you know how much I love the work you’ve created and the lore you’ve put in. It’s art, it’s deliberate, it’s thought out and it’s so very loved. It’s incredible the amount of details and foreshadowing you’ve done. It’s one of the best fics I’ve ever read and it’s something so tasty to enjoy every week! (I daydream about this daily, it honestly needs a warning! (Lol))

I, obviously, began reading it due to the a/b/o element but I think people forget how much emotion can go into a fic like this, and I love that you absolutely know how deep it can go and you are going there! There is so much to explore, dive into and expose. You’ve hit the nail on the head every week! It’s truly a masterpiece.

That being said…I cannot WAIT for old man Price to take care of our needy omega and have beautiful boy Kyle take care of them again. I love the dynamics you’ve set for the established pack and I am insane for how well you’ve managed to weave our reader in, it’s absolutely organic and refreshing!

Some people only read the smut but I really want to encourage those people to stop and smell the flowers. Some of the juiciest details come from non-smut chapters AND it gives you so more to work with and explore.

I dove deep into your lore master list and honestly, thank you for creating it! It’s so helpful and I love the way your brain works. The best authors have lore upon lore that they know about, but it’s not always revealed. I love how we get to see some of that with the master list!

Before I stop writing, please always take care of yourself and please know that you have people who are reading your fic for it’s entirety and not just the smutty smut smut scenes. I thank you for your juicy brain and all the glorious details you put in your fic and I hope you have a wonderful week and take the best time creating whatever it is that comes to mind.

You are fantastic and deserve nothing but the best of the best!

💕💕

I don't even know how to react to this one 🥹

I read this like twice yesterday when I got it 😭 bout made me cry both times. This is so sweet. I know i say that a lot but I do mean it. Y'all don't have to say these wonderful things and yet y'all seem to come in my inbox daily and bombard me with love. I never feel like I deserve it (probably why I can't take a compliment). But thank you. Thank you for this. Truly. It really made my night last night and my morning when I read it again.

[its-a-me-mango]

(Two Cents Anon) HDHFHHFSHF I'm actually OK with not being on Anon, sometimes I'm just more comfy being on anon or I just forget I can send in stuff not on anon haha

ALSO I found out some of the scenes from the movie and the previous episodes were animated by InvertedShadow, who also animated the entirety of Mr. Puzzles' song!

He's actually done a ton of work on SMG4, and I know him from his MLP GMOD days so that's just really funny to me

Its chill, I naturally keep people who accidentally go off anon anonymous anyway because I know if it was me I'd be low-key horrified to make that kind of mistake, gotta keep y'all safe or whatever 💥💥💥💥💥💥

Yes I've heard of InvertedShadow before!!! I didn't know he animated the whole of Mr Puzzles song that's insane, major props to him for the choreography for that, it turned out amazingly. I don't think I ever saw his old MLP GMOD videos, even though I would have been young enough to watch them when I was a major MLP fan, but still it's nice to know that people who've been animating on YT for so long can land somewhere like working on SMG4. I can't wait to see what other things he ends up animating for them in the future! :3

[jittyjames]

8 9 10 16 23

YEEHAW THANKS ANONNNN

8. for hamilton, i hope more people can appreciate aaron burr. he is the most underutilized character in the musical, and often times people just completely erase his character and characterization. i could go on for hours about aaron burr. his dynamics with everyone are amazing, and let's be real, leslie is arguably one of the most talented people in the cast. HOW DO PEOPLE NOT APPRECIATE BURR??? anyway for jcs, just jcs broadway 2012 in general. people don't even put this production in the core ones, and it makes me saddd :(( like guys i promise it's good. i know it's different BUT DIFFERENT IS GOOD!! they didn't appreciate it then, and they don't appreciate it now :((( but also for jcs, mary. i need to see more mary love. more mary fics, more mary fanart. just more mary pls and thanks.

9. OOOO for hamilton, I'm gonna go with jeffmads. i don't really venture into ships that don't involve alexander, but the dynamics in this one are good. i see really cute fanart and really cool fics that bring me joy even if i don't obsess over them, spend hours thinking about them, have the desire to write for them. it's a good ship. y'all should do it more. as for jcs....uhhhh.. most of the ships i like I go absolutely crazy for. I don't just enjoy them normally. I guess caiaphas and annas. like yes. good content. I love to see it.

10. OOOOO CAN I PUT ALL OF YOU????? PRETTY PLEASE?????? ALL OF YOU MAKE THE FANDOM EXPERIENCE SO MUCH BETTER???

ok I'm just going to rattle off some moots for hamilton: @firebalda @crys-sp @cecescomposition @starduckys @conjectureand-gloom @gabcakes @arkhamknight14 and the entirety of the founding fucks. I'm probably missing some, I'm sorry :(((

and for jcs, just the entirety of the jcs discord server. like all of y'all. you guys have made jcs such a good fandom, and you're all so talented. i love that we can just brain rot together

16. for hamilton, i feel like more details have already been obsessed over. I love the use of motifs for songs (like wait for it and burn being the same notes, just at different tempos and with different rhythms) like the implications there that burr and Eliza have some similarities in these songs makes my head spin and keeps me up at night. of course, this is just me being insane for hamburr. like lin is a smart man. he worked on this for years. he did that on PURPOSE. also the fact that alexander is constantly singing other people's themes, like eliza's and burr's, almost mocking them with it. in jcs 2012 broadway, during jesus' arrest, judas is trying to run to jesus with and outstretched hand only to get flung away by a guard. no one talks about this. i brainrot over this moment. judas canonically was trying to rescue jesus. and when he's just centimeters away from touching him, they're ripped apart. also not really tiny, but under-appreciated. the temple scene. the implications of judas walking through while jesus/mary avoid it, the way he's staring at the dancers (men and women), and the fact jesus gets so angry he shoves him that hard. like oh god, they took an already dense scene and made it even more heavy. WHAT WAS GOING ON THERE???

23. hmmm. this ones hard bc most the time, i actively venture into the fandom if it looks interesting. so this happened with hazbin hotel. some mutuals were fangirling over it, and i gave it a try and loved it!!! but i guess if I had to pick one I haven't looked into yet....I think it might be batman?? but not batman??? batman's kids??? idk I see it a lot, and they're always doing lots of whump stuff!

THANKS ANONNNNNN MWAH

[royalvelvette]

the bingo card returns! this time filled out.

A fully x-ed out square means I consider it correct in it's entirety, single line means I think it was right in some way.

The single question mark is because I'm refusing to call it until season 2 based on certain information.

Explicit spoilers under the cut as I discuss some of these.

Entirely Correct Squares:

Someone Else Dies (Hotel) - self explanatory. Someone other than Angel Dust died in the hotel cast (o7 general pentious can't wait to see you cause chaos in heaven)

Side Character Dies - why did lute have to kill dazzle qwq

Adam Dies - GET WRECKED IDIOT (unironically i enjoy him as a character but there is nothing more satisfying to me than watching a jackass die in a particularly embarrassing way; getting stabbed in the back by someone who "weighs 10 pounds soaking wet" while ranting about how sinners should be grateful to you because all of humanity came from your nuts definitely counts)

Lilith Reveal - y'all hear smth? more sincerely, i was leaning in this direction - specifically that Eve and Lilith switched places at some point, but y'know what. I'll take Lilith being in heaven.

Alastor and Charlie Make A Deal - This scene gets me thinking about Alastor's own deal, and I *will* be talking about it for ages. Can't wait to post my longshot theory about who the deal is with. But, yeah, might not be for her soul, but a deal was struck nonetheless.

Lucifer Goes Apeshit - self explanatory again. We saw demon form.

Ends on a Cliffhanger - I have so many questions, and theories, and new headcanons that I'm excited to share with y'all.

Partially Correct Squares:

Charlie Kills Someone - Charlie kills a bunch of exorcists, but no named characters, so I do not consider this to be correct in the way I meant it. This will reappear on my season 2 predictions card(s).

Seven Years Lore - We know where Lilith has been for her seven years; Alastor is still an unknown quantity. Further, Lilith still has a lot of mystery surrounding why she is where she is.

Confirmation Alastor Cares (explicitly!!!) - I definitely think we see Alastor caring a lot about the hotel crew (and Charlie in particular), but it wasn't explicit enough for me to consider the square fully met. Him handing Charlie his staff not once but twice, especially since it seems he relies on it for his powers has me in a chokehold.

That One Square:

Adam is Exiled To Hell - I'm not calling this one until season two drops, just because we saw Sir Pentious arrive in Heaven after his death, so I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility this holds true. However, there isn't enough to go on for me to feel comfy declaring one way or the other.

[lightstar789]

Stars and Smoke by Marie Lu: Review

Okay, the review y'all have been waiting for is finally here, and I'm ready to deliver! Obvious spoilers ahead, by the way.

MY OVERALL RATING: 3/5

My rating will be further broken down in the next couple of sections but let me just say...I kind of expected more from her, in terms of the whole spy concept and enemies-to-lovers romance, which are the main selling points of the novel, hence why my rating is lower than usual books by her. Additionally, there were just a couple things that irked me about this book that I can't ignore. Looking past all of that however, it is still an enjoyable read, and as a sucker for good action scenes and characters, she delivered!

THE GOOD:

THE ACTION:

Okay, can I just tell you how much I love authors that utilize their characters' normally unassuming abilities to make them extremely efficient in combat?? I LOVE how Winter's performance abilities (dancing, stage persona, choreography) always come in clutch whenever he's in a tight position. Though he's not naturally inclined to the spy life, he's still able to use his wits to think of a plan on the spot, like how he lied to Penelope about the location of her hairpin, and then broke out of his bonds using the private concert as reference. I also love how Sydney fights smarter, not harder, and always finds a way to make it out of every fight due to her lung condition. I've always admired characters that use their wits above all, despite being physically lacking in some aspects compared to their opponents, so all of that was *chef's kiss.*

THE CHARACTERS:

I could talk for hours and hours on end about how much each one of Marie Lu's characters have a chokehold on me, and this book is no different. I absolutely loved the roster of Panacea agents, and Winter's crew. I feel like this book did a better job at addressing all the side characters meaningfully than Skyhunter did (though let's be real, nothing will ever beat Warcross and TYE). I also liked how almost the entirety of the Morrison crew, sans Penelope, Leo, Eli and Connor are queer! Quite refreshing if you ask me!

Winter Young: The ML of the book. Going into the book, I initially thought he was gonna be a Day 2.0 but more full of himself. Instead, I was pleasantly surprised! For the most part he is more melancholy and raw than teasing. Part of what makes him such a compelling character is the fact that he constantly yearns for love and admiration in any form, because he'd been denied that for so long. His older brother Artie had been his last source of love before he died, before it all went up in flames for his family, with the amount of abuse and neglect he and his mother had to endure because of his dad. Because of this, Winter desperately tries to find ways that he can make a positive impact on the world other than his music and signing, and I find that a lot better than what I had initially expected!

Sydney Cossette: The FL of the book. There is a lot to talk about regarding her but it might not be as much as Winter considering her arc isn't exactly finished yet. While unfortunately she does fall victim to several annoying YA tropes at first, luckily, she grows out of them as the book progresses. She's described as someone who's constantly on the run from her issues in order for them not to interfere with her spy work, which she seems to take very seriously. Her lung condition is a painful reminder of her late mother, and the realization that she will always be hindered by it, especially when her job is so demanding. She is also kleptomaniac to gain control over something in her life, and is trying to beat back these instincts in order to remain an agent of Panacea. Sydney is logical and secretive, but secretly longs for love, just like Winter does, wanting to wear her heart on her sleeve outside of her career.

Now these two yearning for love and a genuine connection should make them palatable love interests, and the enemies-to-lovers certainly makes this couple compelling. Right? RIGHT???

Yeah, no. Which brings me to...

THE BAD & THE UGLY:

Suffice to say that there's nothing ugly about this book, but more so bad. These aspects here are the reason why I deducted two stars from the overall rating of this book.

THE ROMANCE:

Hoo boy. I went on about this for two hours with a couple others in the Skyhunter discord server last night. Lately, I've been noticing a downwards trend in the quality of Marie Lu's romances, and it's hard to believe that the same person who gave us Dune, Magelina, and Romaine (Emika deserves better than Hideo tbh, but they were cute) gave us Wydney and Redlin.

Oh yeah, by the way, during the Steelstriker review regarding the romance aspect of Redlin aspects of the book, I was fucking lying. All of my mutuals at the time LOVED Redlin and I didn't want to disappoint them by saying I found the romance aspect off. I might make a retrospective review of the Skyhunter duology soon, but only time will tell. For now...

PLEASE MAKE YOUR MAIN CHARACTERS PLATONIC FOR ONCE!! I'M BEGGING YOU!!

Winter and Sydney were just finally beginning to understand each other when I got hit with that ATROCIOUS make-out scene in Chapter 24. I'm not sure if its because of my inner aro-ace or the fact that she was FUCKING POISONED and THAT WAS THE LAST THING THEY SHOULD'VE BEEN DOING. Like?? Why make Wydney smush lips when they could've left it at the simple kiss it once began as??

Not only that, but I could tell the seeds for their mutual attraction were placed and that Lu tried so hard to make them a cute romance, but it just didn't work?? I know their story is nowhere near over in any means but I find it kind of weird that they're gonna make-out when they've only just begun to like each other.

Okay, rant over.

I love how Dameon and Winter are still amicable with each other, despite having broken up. It's honestly refreshing to see a couple that has parted ways, but are still close friends with each other, which doesn't happen very often (*VIOLENT ROMAINE FLASHBACKS*), so props to Marie Lu for this!

PLOT HOLE:

In hindsight, while I praised the worldbuilding of the Skyhunter duology, there were...so many plot holes retrospectively??? Thankfully there weren't as many plot holes this time, due to the modern setting but...

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO AVOIDING THE LISTENING BUGS???

Okay I get that by the time of the check-in from Panacea, the poisoning and subsequent make-out scene in the middle of the hall, Eli Morrison was dead, but did they forget that Connor (and Penelope, as we later find out) were still listening to them?? Did they forget that they were undercover?? I'm honestly surprised none of this was addressed later, or this wasn't used against them, which is why I'm counting it as a plot hole.

THE PROSE:

Okay, I get that this is supposed to be a campy, light, novel, and honestly, I kinda needed that sort of thing after Skyhunter but did that give it the excuse to be written like a Wattpad fanfic?? Methinks not. Also, Marie Lu tends to forget the definition of subtlety a bit and hammer down the same adjectives with the same character so you always associate that character. I noticed it VERY prominently in Skyhunter with Jeran and here, with Dameon and it needs to stop for the sake of my mental health.

THE MOOD:

While this was meant to be written as a campy novel, certain aspects of the book like the SOUL CRUSHING ANGST :( made me want to take this book seriously...which is a recipe for a good whiplash when you're reading Chapter 7 and then get to the bickering and tension in Chapter 8. This isn't bad or ugly per se, just didn't know where to put it.

T - T

Okay, wow, that was a lot more writing than I was expecting, but what can you expect? It's me we're talking about! Anyway, I'd love to see what you guys think of the book, so please, reblog or reply to this post with your thoughts. See ya!

[softguarnere]

#19 "In my defense, I really wanted to" for the Ficlet Ask pls?? I'm a sucker for some Zenie & Luz friendship misadventures! 😆

hehehe I am also a sucker for Zenie and Luz being chaotic, so have some post-war secret reveal feels 💕🤭

#19 "In my defense, I really wanted to" - send me a ship and a number from this list

"Okay, let's get this straight." For once in the war, Luz looks serious. He moves an accusing finger from Zenie to Babe, and then to Shifty. "You mean that you knew, and you did too? How could you tell them that you're actually a girl, and not me?"

"Well I suppose I could have if I wanted half the company to know," Zenie says smoothly. Although, in Luz's defense, a certain Bill Guarnere had immediately turned around and told Babe after learning about Zenie's situation, so it's not like the bar is set very high.

"Who else knows?"

"Well, Roe knew first, but he learned on accident, " Zenie explains, ticking off Easy men on her fingers.

"So did Bill," Babe adds helpfully.

"Bill knew too?!"

"Yeah, but that was an accident, too."

Luz shakes his head, but something like an exasperated smile is pulling at his mouth. "What about you, Shift?"

"Also learned through an accident."

"But that's it," Zenie promises.

"Jesus." Luz runs a hand through his hair. "I can't believe you didn't tell me until the end of the war."

"In my defense, I really wanted to. And now that the war is over, you can help keep my secret, too." Because if there was one thing that Bill was right about, Zenie muses, it's that secrets aren't nearly so heavy when people you care about are there to help you bare their weight.

[muddyorbsblr]

relinquish the crown: masked desires pt2

Series Masterlist See my full list of works here!

Placement: before the main story, one week after 'to covet her' (except the last portion, that's after the main story 😉)

Summary: You're whisked away and have a fleeting moment with a masked stranger. Come the next morning, you make a startling discovery who you were with during the ball.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 5.6k [y'all get some wine]

Warnings: non-dream smut (!!!) (minors and pearl clutchers, DNI); themes of incest (he's adopted but still); one cuss word

Things to be aware of: really sad chaotic idiot in love Y/N; stupidly oblivious Y/N's back; the smut's in the last scene but they also get a little frisky in the first scene, so there's also that

You didn't know what you were thinking, following your mystery partner out of the ballroom and into the hall where there were already a handful of masked couples doing precisely what you believed the nameless man dressed in your colors was intending. You quickly undid the ties of your veil by your neck, praying that he wouldn't undo the other set of ties and reveal the entirety of your face.

He led you far enough away from the rest of the couples, granting you a semblance of privacy as you hid behind a large column before pressing you flush against the wall and taking the loosened bottom of your veil, slowly lifting it up. 

"Wait," you said in a rush. "You can't remove my--"

"I won't, milady, do not worry," he reassured you, lifting only until your lips were revealed. He took a look at the part of your face that was revealed, licking his lips before murmuring, "Beautiful." And then he leaned in, capturing your lips with his in a tender, almost tentative kiss. The contact made a warmth bloom immediately in your lower stomach, quickly evolving into a heat pooling between your thighs.

The moment you let out a whimper his lips were on yours again, as if he were a man starved, and yet he was set on walking the fine line between devouring you and savoring you. Chasing his pleasure but also coaxing your own. When he tilted his head to deepen the kiss, his tongue easily slipping past your lips and almost playfully flicking against your own, you moaned into his mouth. 

"What if I pretended you were the woman I loved?" he panted into your ear, pressing fevered kisses on the skin below, by the edge of your jaw. You tilted your head to expose your neck to him, and he took the cue to trail his kisses there, being careful to only kiss rather than bite or even lightly suck.

"Then I suppose whoever she is, she's a very fortunate woman. You'd make her very happy," you panted, your moan traveling down the hall as he licked at the juncture of your neck and shoulder. "So long as you kiss her just like this," you whimpered, punctuating your sentiment with another loud moan. 

"Loving her is dangerous." It almost sounded like he was confessing a crime with the tone his masked voice took on. "Salacious. Lecherous. She would never return that love." He pressed his lips to yours once again, groaning into your mouth as his hand curled around your thigh through the slit in your dress, hooking it around his hip and proceeding to grind his trousered hardening erection against your dampened core. 

"Oh! She would be a fool to—Oh fuck—She'd be a fool not to love you," you whimpered as he ground his hips against yours. "An absolute fool," you finished with a sigh. 

"And what of you?" he asked through gritted teeth as he kept at his movements. He placed tender kisses onto your shoulder and neck, groaning into your skin, tracing your collarbone with his tongue. "Who are pretending you're with tonight?"

"Someone I shouldn't desire," you answered in a heartbeat. "Someone I shouldn't be in love with." And suddenly your reality was cemented. In this hall, confessing your veiled half-truths to this masked stranger, you could see your reality unfolding before you if you remained in love with Loki. Keeping the most passionate part of you hidden for fear of being discovered and thought a lech by not just the entirety of the kingdom, but by the god himself. 

But not tonight. Tonight, this stranger could be whoever you wished as he kissed you, caressed you, and drove his hips maddeningly against yours. Tonight, you were with Loki. Free of consequence. Free of damnation. At least until midnight. At least until the Queen's spell wore off. 

You both stayed this course for hours. Hands roaming each other's form, as if you were both committing this moment to memory. This moment where two strangers bonded over pretending that the other was their forbidden beloved, that they could be with the one their hearts ached for. Until you once again heard the Queen's voice echoing all around the halls. 

"Citizens of Asgard, the veil of anonymity will drop in one minute. If you wish to maintain the cover of your identities, I recommend you disengage from your present company."

"I suppose this is where we part ways," he spoke against your lips. "Might I ever see you again?" He set you back on your feet, hands hovering by your waist in case you were unsteady. 

"I suppose you will inevitably. But you wouldn't know if you did."

He flashed you the quickest smile before pressing a final soft kiss to your lips. "So which one were you? The dressmaker? The farm girl? Or the princess?"

"Whichever one you wished I was," you answered playfully as you began to walk back towards the ballroom. "Just as how I pretended you were the man I love." With that, you secured your veil back over the bottom half of your face. 

On your way back, you spotted a couple. One with the unmistakable physique of a warrior, blond and perfectly coifed hair. The other with a head of strawberry blonde hair you knew anywhere, regardless of where you were within the Nine Realms. You held back an excited squeal as you surmised that the couple who were still engaged in a tender kiss and a lover's embrace were none other than Fandral and Narda. 

At least one of us gets the happy ending, my friend. 

This was the first night's slumber wherein you did not have any sensual dreams about the god living across from you. You had to admit after months and months worth of those dreams, to not have them this time around felt peculiar. As if there was something lacking. 

You missed those sinful dreams. 

Instead last night you simply relived the memories of the ball. Of your encounter with your mysterious nameless partner. Of the way his lips felt as they moved with yours, the way his hands roamed your body as if it was the last time…because it was. Of the wondrous noises you both made as he drove his hips into yours, the feeling absolutely exquisite even with the barriers of your clothing between you. 

Perhaps, after all, you needn't seek your grandmother's magical intervention in order to move past your affections for Loki. Perhaps you simply needed to seek out the identity of your partner from the ball. Clearly you were both in the position where you pined for someone you couldn't have, someone you shouldn't have. There was most definitely the tinder of passion between you, though you suspect it could have been fueled by the mystery of it all. 

But perhaps it wouldn't hurt to at least try seeking him out. At least as an attempt to begin moving forward with your life. Perhaps once you did, you would soon find yourself able to live with the memories of the affections you once held for the god who currently consumed your waking and dreaming thoughts. 

And these moons you spent yearning for him would only feel like a drop in the bucket. 

With this newfound resolve, you set about your morning getting ready, practically skipping to your chamber doors and into the hall, just as Loki was exiting his chambers. When he caught sight of you a brilliant smile graced his features as he held out his hand toward you. 

But you were too busy fixing your gaze on something revealed by his open door. A suit and a mask, undoubtedly his costume from the night before, displayed on a costume maker's mannequin. Clearly bespoke, for you expected nothing less from the Prince. And the garments were set in black and gold. 

The exact same clothes worn by your nameless partner last night. Now no longer nameless. No longer faceless. No longer a mystery. 

The stranger you spent the night dancing with, conversing in your twisted little thinking game. The man who pinned you to the wall with his body as you rubbed yourselves against each other. The one who now knew the feel of your lips, the ridges at the roof of your mouth, and everywhere in between. 

It was Loki. 

And your elation over the knowledge that you now knew what it felt like to be held by him, to kiss him, to be desired by him, came crashing down just as quickly as it arose. Loving her is dangerous. What if I pretended you were the woman I loved?

Loki was in love with someone. And this wretched woman would be a fool to reject him. Soon he would begin to court her, and then marry her. And that would be it. He was already lost to you. 

The pain you anticipated, the one you feared, when you inevitably had to face losing him to another was nothing compare to how it felt when the knowledge was finally staring you in the face. Your heart felt heavy and hollow all at once. As if it had hardened into lead and yet also shattered into infinitesimal splintered pieces. Your body broke out in chills despite your blood boiling. You felt as if you were falling from the ground disappearing beneath your feet and yet unable to move from the very space you occupied. 

"Darling?" You could hear the distress in the god's voice as he saw the visible unrest on your face. "Y/N, what's wrong?" He framed your face with his hands, thumbs softly stroking your cheeks.

"I erm…I should see Grandmother. I feel unwell," you tried to move away from him, placing your hands on his wrists in an attempt to gently shrug off his hold. Your head was swimming with too many thoughts, too many images that you feared you would come to face soon. Your heart was beating too fast, the air felt too cold, too thin. 

"Tell me what ails you, darling. I can heal you." He sounded as if he was pleading with you, frantic and fevered…almost beside himself. Had it been anything else you would have taken him up on his offer, but this was something between you and the Queen. It wasn't like you could ask him to rid your mind of your immoral love for him. 

"It's fine. I need to speak with her about some matters anyways. Post-festivities and whatnot." You did your best to sound casual, as if you were not witnessing your world crumbling and fading before you. As if your heart weren't turning into something less than ash. 

"If you're sure," he said with a touch of caution. "Can you walk?" He slowly pulled his hands away from you, seeing if you could stand on your own, catching you immediately when you took a step back and stumbled over nothing and picking your weakened form up and into his arms. "Let's get you to my mother, then."

One thing that Frigga knew beyond doubt was that she could find her family anywhere. Regardless of whether they were lost in a crowd or elaborately disguised, she could find her children, and her only grandchild, anywhere in the Nine Realms. Of this she was absolutely sure. 

So it was easy for her to spot Loki in the crowd during the masquerade ball, donning a suit set in your colors. Even easier when he approached a woman wearing a draping silken dress set in his colors, who she immediately identified as none other than her granddaughter. Loki's fated. You. 

Even behind disguises where you both could have been drawn to any other person in the room, you still found a way to each other. As if your souls themselves were reaching out to its partner, always seeking out its other half and pointing you both in the right direction. 

Seeing you two dance together, wearing each other's colors, anonymously declaring yourselves to one another in front of the whole kingdom, warmed the Queen's heart so. She found herself eagerly awaiting the day that would lead to the vision she found when she glimpsed your future. The vision comprised of you two happily married, running into each other in the halls of the palace as you performed your royal duties for the day separate from each other, and in that fleeting moment the smiles grew on your faces and shone so brilliantly as you ran into his arms and kissed him so lovingly for any bystander to see.

As she wondered what your inevitable wedding ceremony would look like, she was startled by the doors to her workroom opening so abruptly, the sight of you weakened in Loki's arms immediately alarming her. "What happened, my son?" 

"She said she feels unwell," he answered her. "When she left her chambers she was fine, but then it was as if…a switch had been flipped inside of her. Mother, she's cold." There were tears in his eyes as he spoke of you, the fear evident in his tone. 

"It's alright, my son. Set her down on the chaise, I'll tend to her." 

"Mother," he choked out. "She will be alright, will she not?" 

"Stop worrying yourself, Loki," you said weakly. "I will be as I was momentarily." 

A chill ran down Frigga's spine as you said those words. She knew why you were here. You'd come to explore your options. To rid yourself of the affection you'd begun to feel for Loki. 

As he set you down on the chaise near the window of the room, she watched with a breaking heart as he gently stroked the top of your head, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "I'll be right outside, darling. I love you." Her eyes widened at his words. Had he confessed? No. If he had, you wouldn't be here, looking the way you did, about to ask her the favor she knew was coming.

"I love you, too,"  you responded weakly. She could hear the tears you were fighting to hold back as you said the words, seeing the words now for what they were. A confession disguising itself as platonic, familial sentiment. On both ends. 

Had she not loved you both unconditionally, she would have voiced her rather harsh opinion of your current predicament. Called you both cowards. Imbeciles. She would have confessed for you both at this very moment if she could, risking the resentment from both of you. 

Instead she chose not to interfere, putting her faith in the outcome that despite the favor she was about to grant you in order to give you reprieve from the distress clearly plaguing you, that your love for Loki was strong enough to break the spell she would cast on your mind. Eventually.

"I will take care of her, my dear boy," she said to her son as he kneeled by your side. "But you need to let me work." She subtly tilted her head toward the door, which he responded to immediately with a nod, pressing a final kiss to the back of your hand before standing upright and exiting the workroom. "Now, darling Granddaughter, what truly ails you?" 

"You said to take this week to entertain the thought of loving him. I have. And now I hurt. Grandmother, I need them extinguished. Tell me what can be done, I am begging you," you answered her weakly.

"Darling Y/N," she breathed as she knelt where Loki was just moments ago. "Why? He loves you, he just said it himself--"

"It's not enough," you cried, the tears flowing freely down the sides of your face. "He couldn't love me the way that I do he's--" You began to choke on your sobs so she helped you to sit up, rubbing your back as you tried to compose yourself. "He's not depraved. Not like I am. Grandmother, tell me. Am I broken? Cursed? Did I do something that angered the Norns so fiercely that they condemned me to love a man I could never have?" 

Those words seemed to open the floodgates for you, now letting out screams of pure anguish as you sobbed in your grandmother's arms. "My dear granddaughter, it's alright. You will be alright, but to perform this spell I must as you again are you absolutely--"

"I kissed him," you cut her off.  When she looked upon your face, it was as if your eyes had gone blank. As if you'd put yourself in a trance as you recalled the events. "Last night. At the ball. I danced with a charming man, in a bespoke suit set in my colors. We talked about who we could be. And then he whisked me off into the hall and he kissed me. And there we stayed until the end. Until mere moments before your spell over the palace wore off." 

Gods, please tell me that my son did not take his fated for the first time against the wall in the palace hallways, the Queen groaned inwardly to herself. They both deserve better than that.

"This morning I saw the suit worn by that man hanging in Loki's chambers. It was him," you breathed out, tears beginning to fall once more. "And now I know what it feels like to kiss him. To touch him. To be desired by him. And it's ripping me apart to know that I will never know that again." 

"Y/N, my sweet granddaughter--"

"He's in love with someone, did you know that?" you said hysterically. "In the hall, when we were in our disguises, he said that he was pretending that I was the woman he loved. That it was dangerous to love her. Fool. Anyone who wouldn't love him in return is a fool," you hissed as your voice began to break. "Grandmother, when he courts whoever this woman is, I will not be able to bear the anguish. I need--" You choked once more, sniffling, and sobbing through your words.

"Oh, my darling girl…" 

"I need to be able to live through it. And the only way I can is if these emotions no longer plague me, so please, Grandmother. I am begging you. Help me." 

"I will. Y/N, I will help you," she reassured you as she pulled you into an embrace. "But you must know one more thing. This spell will lock away your memories, keep it in a place within your mind that you can no longer reach. But if after this spell is cast, you fall in love with Loki again, those memories will be set free, and it will pain you, Granddaughter. It may feel as if your head is being split in two as you begin to reconsolidate your newly recovered sentiments." 

"I don't care, Grandmother. I just wish to be fixed," you answered, your voice completely devoid of strength now. "I will not make the same mistake twice, of that I can assure you." 

As she held you, she allowed a tear to escape her, rolling down her cheek and falling to the fabric of your dress. "Very well then, Y/N." 

Several minutes passed that you were in the Queen's workroom, with Loki waiting outside, his impatience quite evident as he paced back and forth it was a wonder that he hadn't dug a small trench into the floor yet with his steps. When he finally heard his mother call for him from inside the room, he nearly sprinted into action, walking in with such haste, anxious to see you better after he witness the weariness in you when he carried you in.

"Loki!" you greeted him cheerfully as you ran into his open arms. Much as he was relieved to see you visibly better than you were just minutes ago, he couldn't help but sense that there was something different about you.

"Is everything alright with you now, darling?" 

The brightness in your eyes didn't falter as you scrunched your nose at him. "All better now. Grandmother tells me it was simply a bad case of the cramps. I must have overworked myself this week," you answered him with a chuckle. A softness entered your gaze as you looked into his eyes. "Have I thanked you yet for how much you've helped me in all this?" 

He fought against the instinct to furrow his brows at you, the confusion seeping into his system. "Multiple times, little Princess," he chuckled, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. 

When you giggled at his response, a sense of alarm still nagged at him. It was as if there was something missing with you, he just couldn't quite place what it was yet. You threw your arms around his neck and pulled him into an embrace, once again feeling amiss compared to even simply yesterday morning. "Once more wouldn't hurt. Thank you." 

"It was my genuine pleasure, darling." He snuck a look at his mother, who was looking at him with undeniably sorrowful eyes. "Why don't you wait for me outside, Princess? I just need to speak with my mother for a moment." He felt you nodding against his shoulder before stepping out of his hold and walking toward the door. "Y/N?" You stopped midway and turned around to face him. "I love you." 

Something in his heart splintered as you answered with a carefree smile and a tone that was completely lacking in the depth it had the last time you said the words. "I love you, too." 

When the door closed behind you, he turned to the Queen. "Mother, what happened to her?" 

She simply answered by saying nothing and walking over to him, pulling him into a warm embrace. "I am so terribly sorry, my dear boy." 

"Sorry? What ever for?" Everything in him felt cold, as if he'd lost something he had even been aware he was capable of losing. "Mother, what happened to Y/N?" 

"You have to promise me something, Loki." Her voice was rife with command, with frenzy. 

"Of course, Mother." 

"Never let her go. Fight for her. Until she finds her way to you." 

"You sound so confident that she will." 

She grabbed his hand and projected an image into his mind. An image of you and him, performing your royal duties and having a fleeting moment to each other as you crossed paths in the palace halls. You ran into his arms and pulled him into a kiss, whispering as you pulled away, "I've missed you, husband." 

"That is your future, my Son," she said with a warm smile. "But only if you fight for it." 

The image left Loki breathless. Husband. You called him husband. You would become his after all. "I promise," he choked out, unable to find his words as he tried to imagine what the events could be that led to finally being able to call you his as he was yours. 

When he left his mother's workroom, he found himself quickly panicking again as he saw you leaned against the wall, head tilted toward the ceiling, your fingers gently massaging your temples. 

"Y/N, what's wrong?" 

"Hmm?" You quickly stopped your movements and turned your gaze to look at him. "Oh, 'tis nothing. Just a small headache, that's all." 

He nodded slowly, trying to remember the last time you complained of your head hurting but being unable to recall any such occasion. This was new. Whatever happened in the workroom with his mother…resulted in that, he was sure.

Trying to clear his mind, Loki held out his hand to you. "Shall we, Princess?" Once again, your smile was a touch too bright, and much too carefree, that it wasn't sitting quite right with the god. But for now he chose not to focus on it, choosing instead to look ahead. To plot several possible courses of action in order to reach the future that his mother saw for the two of you.

The future where he'd finally get to call you his darling wife.

A few years later…

"My darling wife, what ever are you holding?" 

You walked out of your closet holding a garment bag, a pensive, almost rueful smile on your face. "Something I remembered." When you turned your gaze and your eyes met Loki's, you could see the expectance on his face, silently urging you to continue. "Do you remember the masquerade ball?" 

His brows furrowed as he walked over to position himself behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing a kiss to your cheek. "I do, my love. Why?" He proceeded to press more kisses on to your cheek, then your jaw, down to your neck. He pulled back the side of your dressing gown to trail his kisses across your shoulder, making you bite your lip as you held back a moan. 

"You danced with a woman that night." He froze against you at your words. "She wore your colors." 

"Y/N, my darling, we hadn't--"

You set the garment bag down on the bed and turned in his arms. "Let me finish," you told him softly, placing your hands on his shoulders. His eyes were rife with unspoken apologies, but he simply nodded at you, causing you to give him a soft smile as you stood on the tips of your toes to place a kiss on his lips. 

That, of course, led to another…and another…until he lifted you into his arms as he deepened the kiss, sighing contentedly as your tongues met, flicking against one another. You began to whimper against his attentions once he had your back pressed against the wall and he'd let his hands start roaming under the flimsy garment covering you. 

"You're distracting me," you accused half-heartedly, contentment setting into you as his hands caressed your thighs so tenderly. Your breathing hitched as he kissed down the skin exposed by your dressing gown, pushing the fabric aside in order to trace along your collarbone with his tongue. 

"Keep going, my dear wife," he murmured against your skin. "I'm listening." 

"You're not playing fair," you whined, your chest heaving as you tried to take steadying breaths to calm yourself against your beloved's onslaught of affection.

He stopped kissing your skin, placing your dressing gown back to its previous state, and brought his face inches from yours. So close that your noses were brushing against one another, that you could feel his warm breath on your lips. "My darling, had I ever played fair, I wouldn't have you," he cooed at you, tilting his head to brush his lips across yours briefly. 

"I know," you breathed. "I dare not imagine how our lives would have been if you did." You placed your arms on his shoulders, crossing them behind his neck to pull him into a deeper kiss. Even the fleeting moment where you caught a glimpse of what your life would have been if he'd stopped fighting for you, for your love, made tears prickle in the back of your eyes. 

You'd been so hardheaded and foolish, nearly lost him as a consequence of your idiocy. And you'd never be able to forgive yourself for it. You couldn't even comprehend that he had so quickly. 

"Alright, my love, no more distractions, I promise," he chuckled against your lips, gently placing you back on your feet, arms loosely circling your waist to keep you steady. "Keep going." 

It took a few moments for you to recall where you'd stopped your story. "You whisked her away to the hall, where you kissed her. Told her you were pretending that she was the woman you loved." 

"You were there?" he asked breathlessly, as if he'd been sucker punched. "You heard--"

"She told you that whoever it was, she would be very happy so long as you kissed that woman the way you kissed her. You told her that loving this woman was dangerous. Lecherous." You could see the emotions swimming in his eyes as you recalled that conversation. The words he'd unknowingly said to you now coming back to him in lurid detail. "And she told you that this woman would be a fool not to love you." 

"My love--"

"I was a fool," you cut him off. "I did very foolish things in fear that the love I had for you was not returned. I was foolish to singlehandedly deny us our happiness for years, when all this time--" 

"You were pained, dear heart. All that matters is that we are here now. You found your way back to me, my darling wife." He placed his forehead against yours, hands stroking your sides gently in a soothing motion, as if he could already sense that your mind was spiraling down a dark and treacherous path once again. "You don't have to keep going with your memory if it pains you--"

"I want to," you insisted. "I need you to know this, husband." You took hold of his arms, trying to ground yourself. "You asked her who she was pretending to be with that night." 

He continued to stroke your sides, comforting you through the memory. Perhaps also trying to ground himself in the process. "I remember," he said breathily. 

"And I said…" His hands suddenly stopped, pulling away from you slightly so that he could look into your eyes, the bewilderment so evident on his face. "Someone I shouldn't desire. Someone I shouldn't be in love with." A smile began to spread across his face as he processed your words. "Loki. My darling husband. My love. Open the bag." 

He released you from his hold to slowly open the garment bag that housed your gown from that night. He let out an audible sigh of what sounded like relief when he caught sight of the green silk that you'd worn, along with the lace mask at the center of the hanger. "You?" he breathed out as he turned his gaze to you, his eyes so full of wonder and love as the realization sunk in.

"It was me. You were with me that night." You took his hand in yours and he brought it up to his lips, placing tender kisses on your palm, the inside of your wrist, anywhere he could reach. "And I was pretending that I was with you." 

His eyes darkened with unadulterated lust as those final words came out, letting go of  your hand as his fingers ghosted down the opening of your dressing robe until they reached the ties. With a swift tug, he undid the knot and shrugged the garment off you, leaving you completely bare. You made a motion to return the favor but instead he pulled you to him, pressing his body against yours as he guided you to lie down on the bed.

Once your back laid on the mattress, he placed a soft kiss on your lips before beginning a descent down your neck, his destination quite obvious. "We no longer need to pretend, my love," he murmured against your skin. He placed kisses all across your chest, your back arching into his kiss as he paid special attention to your breasts, his teeth lightly grazing the sensitive skin of your nipples. 

"Husband--" you gasped as he continued his descent, biting and sucking a bruise into your hip. 

"One of these days I may have to punish you for all those years you denied us, my darling," he murmured once he reached your sex. He placed soft, tender kisses on the inside of your thighs, prolonging your need of him even more. "Once I figure out how I will do it. And how to say no to you. Even when you're begging for release." 

All you could do in response was let out a broken whimper of his name as your mind wandered to what he could have planned when that day finally came, followed by a series of pleading moans as his tongue traced and teased along your folds. 

"Or perhaps I would grant you your release…over and over again. And I must deny you when you're begging me to stop," he taunted you, a satisfied smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth as you let out a high-pitched whimper. "Do not worry your precious head, my darling. I will not be denying you anything tonight." 

Your moans echoed around the room as his lips closed over your clit, sucking and flicking his tongue along the sensitive bundle of nerves as he slipped two fingers inside of you, twisting and scissoring, readying you for him before he curled them upward, stroking relentlessly until your back was arching off the bed as you soaked his digits in your release.

You watched as Loki rose to his feet, quickly undoing the ties on his own dressing robe and shrugging it off, standing before you in all his naked glory. He moved until his lips hovered over yours, and you could feel his hand lining himself at your entrance. "I love you, my darling wife," he said softly before pressing his lips to yours in a tender kiss.

He pushed his length into you in slow, gradual thrusts, each time sinking deeper into you until your hips were flush with one another. You couldn't find it in you to form words, so instead you reached out to him with your mind to deliver your sentiment. I love you, too. My darling husband. My Loki.

A/N: Aaaaaa we finally have a glimpse of happy married life! Now y'all will take that as a slice of comfort because we're getting closer to the wedding and Y/N's essentially back to zero when it comes to her feelings whew--

I still cannot believe what an absolute behemoth of a story this turned into that I'm even looking at it in terms of "season arcs" at this point, but honestly this has been such an amazing experience for me, getting to create all this and seeing how much y'all love the messy chaotic life I've created for these two.

We're far from finished with their story, and I can reveal now that I have a handful of ideas for it instead of just a one-off…this will have a few "What If…?" type detours of the smutty variety. Do with that information what you will 😏

Here's a bonus gif for everyone who stays until the end:

Taglist:

Everything:  @lokisgoodgirl @lokischambermaid @imalovernotahater @mygfloki @lucylaufeyson3 @thomase1 @springdandelixn @fictive-sl0th @mochie85 @laliceee @xorpsbane @gigglingtigger @silverfire475 @cabingrlandrandomcrap @vickie5446 @salempoe @lokixryss @sinsandguilt @lokidbadguy @alexakeyloveloki @glitterylokislut @arch-venus25 @freefrommars @littlemortals @cakesandtom @girl-of-multi-fandoms @mischief2sarawr @thedistractedagglomeration @five-miles-over @goblingirlsarah @peaches1958 @huntress-artemiss @lilibet261 @iobsessoverfictionalmen @holymultiplefandomsbatman @lovingchoices14 @avoliax @devilsadvocactus @purplegrrl27 @lokiprompts @sititran @imherefortomhiddleston @ladyjames78 @stupidthoughtsinwriting @kikster606 @evelyn-kingsley @kats72 @ronnieissupermegafoxyawesomehot

Loki:  @calumance @severuslovebot @moonlightreader649 @princess-ofthe-pages @ozymdias @eleniblue

[f-smutt-fitzgerald]

BLOODLUST SECRET BONUS CHAPTER: The World’s Worst Hangover

Art by @ma10ba (correct me if I'm wrong)

***This chapter takes place the morning after the events of my smut horror story on AO3, Bloodlust, so if you haven't read that in it's entirety, CLICK HERE TO READ IT FIRST.

I mean… I can't force y'all to do anything. Read this first if you want, it just sorta spoils the story's ending.

WARNING: This chapter contains no smut, but it does contain death and lots of gore. Reader discretion is advised.

***Also, I just want to make clear that I intentionally left the ending of Bloodlust ambiguous because I want the reader to come up with their own ideas of what happens next on their own (a reader's mind conjures up horrors worse than the written word can ever hope to achieve yadda yadda yadda), so this special end scene isn't necessarily "canon" to my story, it's just a fun little extra bit of psychological horror for those who wanted to know how I imagined things would happen next.

Without further ado, I present to you...

The World's Worst Hangover

.

In hindsight, drinking that much celebratory champagne was probably a bad move, because when Azul’s alarm rang the next morning, it felt like a raging beast was screaming inside his head and jamming razor blades into his skull.

Azul desperately jabbed at the button on his phone to turn the agonizing beeping off. “Fucking dammit...” Azul tossed the phone onto his side table, rubbing at his face with a prolonged groan. Early morning sunlight rippled through the ocean outside his window and Azul covered his head with a pillow to escape it.

The housewarden contemplated sleeping in longer, but all the work he needed to get done before the Mostro Lounge’s official re-opening piled up in his mind and he knew there was no time to allow himself to properly recover from this hangover. So Azul begrudgingly tossed his pillow aside and got up to prepare himself for the torturous day ahead of him.

After popping some pain killers and getting dressed, the housewarden made his way through the dorm over to the Mostro Lounge to make final inspections before the staff came in to get ready for the lunch time opening. He expected Jade to be waiting for him in the dining room, but the vice housewarden was nowhere to be found.

“Hmmm...” Azul looked down at his phone to double check the time, and it was ten minutes past when they had agreed to meet. He had no new messages from the Leech brother, and Jade was not the type to accidentally sleep in or forget a meeting, so Azul was starting to feel nervous, albeit he wasn’t entirely sure why. The silver haired man looked around the room once more, “Where are you...?”

An unsettling feeling bubbled inside of Azul, and it wasn’t the nausea from his unyielding hangover. Azul found himself walking over to the dark, silent kitchen, his excuse being that maybe Jade would be in there checking ingredients like the teal haired man tended to do, but a part of him wondered if Jade was down below in the blocked off basement that only the two of them knew about.

Azul got his answer when he saw that the secret shelving unit door was cracked open slightly, and his already sick stomach twisted into a heavy knot. “Fuck.”

He ran to the shelving unit and pulled it open, the containers of ingredients on the shelves tumbling onto the floor as the housewarden rushed inside the closed off space and shut the door. Azul and Jade always made sure to lock the secret door regardless of whether they were inside or outside of the hidden space. Always. Jade wouldn’t have just left the door cracked open like he did. Unless...

“Floyd... Oh no...” The door to the basement was already wide open and the light was on. Azul slammed the door behind him as he rushed down the stairs in a panic, “FLOYD!” He screamed, making his way through the basement towards the uncovered door to the secret room. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck...”

Azul stopped just short of the door, spying something on the ground that made his whole body run cold. Just barely seeping out from under the door was a small pool of dark red, and for a moment Azul couldn’t bring himself to step any closer. He turned and stumbled against the dusty, empty shelves of the basement, shaking and heaving heavy breaths to keep down the bile that tried to escape his stomach. He just leaned there and focused on his breathing until the nausea subsided, knowing he needed to open that door no matter what was on the other side. So he pushed aside his panic and any other thoughts or feelings that conflicted with the task at hand. The housewarden straightened up and turned towards the door, taking in a quick breath as he gripped the handle and pushed it open.

Immediately Azul was hit by the overwhelming metallic stench of something putrid and rotten from inside the room, and it was all the already nauseous man needed to instantly turn around and vomit onto the floor. His body shook violently as he turned up the last of the contents within his stomach, tears flowing from his gray eyes as he just stared at the ground, dry heaving and hyperventilating uncontrollably.

He didn’t want to turn around. He didn’t want to see what was inside that room. He already had an idea and he’d give anything to not have to see it. But Azul knew he had no other choice, so he pulled out his handkerchief and took a moment to wipe up his mouth before turning the cloth over and pressing it firmly over his nose and mouth. He pulled out his pen, preparing for the worst when he forced his trembling body to turn and face whatever was waiting for him inside of that dark room.

There was a voice muttering from inside. It was quiet and uneven, and Azul only just now noticed it as he looked vacantly towards the inside of the room, not quite having the strength to look down just yet. His shaking hand gripped his pen as he felt around on the wall for the light switch. With a soft ‘click’, the room was illuminated by the two lights strung up on the ceiling. Azul stared up at those lights, struggling against every survival instinct in his body telling him not to look down as he forced his eyes towards the ground.

It was red. All he could see was red.

It completely covered the once grey cement floor in various sickening shades, splattered up along the walls and the furniture, dripping back down into dark crimson pools on the ground. And it covered a small, pathetic man tucked into the corner of the room between the outer plexiglass partition of makeshift bathroom and the cement wall, rocking back and forth and gripping his vaguely teal blood soaked hair as he muttered to himself on repeat, “I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it...”

Azul thought there was nothing left in his stomach to vomit, but his body proved him wrong as he looked towards his feet and saw that he, himself, was standing in a puddle of rotten blood. He suddenly keeled over against the doorframe and dry heaved the last little bit of acid that was inside of his cramping gut, pulling his handkerchief up slightly so he could let it drip onto the ground before quickly covering up his mouth again.

“Hey Azul.” A voice spoke in a calm, monotone whisper from somewhere else in the room to Azul’s right.

Still gripping onto the doorframe, the housewarden slowly panned his eyes over in the direction of the voice. He found Floyd, sitting on the ground and leaning up against the wall, blood soaked clothes clinging to his skin, crimson covering most of his pale face and causing strands of his hair to stick to his skin. He just stared at the opposing wall, unblinking eyes dark and sunken as he just sat there, unmoving as though he, himself, were a corpse.

It was at this point that Azul realized that the pathetic creature rocking back and forth against the plexiglass wall at the opposite end of the room was Jade. The vice housewarden was nearly unrecognizable in this dazed, traumatized state, trapped in a constant loop of tugging at his hair with crimson stained hands and whispering, “I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it...”

There was no need to ask what had happened. It was well past the point where it would have mattered. The housewarden slowly glanced back towards Floyd, who rolled his head over to look Azul in the eyes as he spoke again with that eerily calm, monotone voice, “What’s up?” Azul trembled as he saw now that Floyd was gripping your hand in his, the twin refusing to let go even when there was no longer any trace of life in your cold palm.

The one thing Azul couldn’t do was look at the rest of whatever that hand was connected to. Azul knew that whatever it was, it had been hours since it was a living, breathing person, and he didn’t need to know any more than that.

“I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it...”

His eyes caught a glimpse of something shiny on top of the bed at the far end of the room, and after taking a moment to organize the chaos in his head, Azul realized that these were the keys to the secret room. Needing a direction forward, the silver haired man carefully stepped through the room towards the keys. He’d have tried to avoid stepping in the blood, if it were possible to do so, but it was already too late for that. Jade continued rocking and whispering, and Floyd just rolled his head back to stare at the wall across from him, squeezing your hand in his as if to reassure you.

“I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it...”

Azul stared up at the ceiling, holding his breath and gritting his teeth to still his quivering jaw as he carefully stepped over the corpse in the center of the room. He reached over and quickly grabbed the keys on the bed, turning to repeat the process of keeping his eyes on the ceiling as he slowly made his way back towards the door.

He stopped at the threshold, taking a moment to clear his mind before carefully slipping out of his blood soaked shoes, making sure not to get a drop of blood anywhere else on him as he stepped his purple sock covered foot onto the clean cement ground outside in the main room of the basement. Having successfully made it out of the room with the keys and without the shoes, Azul reached his hand back in to turn off the light, making sure not to step into the crimson that had pooled around the doorway.

“Goodbye Azul.” Floyd’s calm whisper spoke from the darkness of the room. Azul shook as he reached for the door handle and slowly closed the door to the room, shutting the twins inside. The trembling silver haired man struggled to hold the keys still enough to lock the entrance to the room, just barely managing to twist the key in the lock to ensure that, for now, the horrors inside that room would stay there.

He turned and fell against the basement shelves, desperately wanting to allow himself to fall apart, but he couldn’t. Not yet.

The housewarden forced himself up the stairs and out of the basement, carefully locking the basement door before turning to hesitantly push open the secret door leading to the kitchen. He cracked it open just a bit at first, checking to see if the lights were still off outside to make sure no one else was around. He stood there for a bit, and when he didn’t hear any noises outside, he carefully pushed the door open the rest of the way, stepping out of the secret space into the kitchen. He swung the shelving unit door closed and quickly locked it, dropping the keys into his coat pocket as he lowered his head into the front corner of the unit, heaving heavy breaths as he was just about to drop to the ground and start sobbing.

The light in the kitchen flickered on, and a voice spoke from behind him, “Mr. Ashengrotto...?” Azul turned to find the head chef standing in the doorway, head cocked as he stared at the housewarden with a look of concern and confusion. “Are you okay, sir?”

Azul looked from the employee over to the shelving unit he was leaning against, various containers of spices and other dry ingredients knocked over on the shelves and on the ground around his feet. “Sorry... I guess I tripped and knocked everything over...”

The chef glanced down at the housewarden’s feet, “Where are your shoes...?”

Azul took a deep breath in. “You know what... I don’t think I am okay.” He forced out a small chuckle, “I admit I had too much to drink last night... And I am having the world’s worst hangover.” He looked down and lifted his sock covered foot up slightly, “As a testament to my lack of cohesive brain power, I seem to have completely forgotten to put on my shoes as I was getting ready today...” Azul rubbed his head and nodded to himself, “Floyd and Jade are also worse for wear at the moment, we partied a bit too hard last night after the event... I regret to report that I don’t think any of us will be able to help out with the Mostro Lounge today.”

The head chef raised his eyebrows, unsure of how to respond, “Oh... I’m so sorry to hear about that sir.” He scratched his head, “Should we hold off the Mostro’s opening then...?”

Azul shook his head and walked towards his employee, “Oh heavens no!” He pat the man’s arm, “This just means you’re going to have to spearhead the opening on your own! Don’t worry, I’ll pay you extra for your efforts...” He gripped the chef ’s shoulder and looked into his eyes, the silver haired man’s expression turning serious, “...As well as your discretion. I admit I’m a bit embarrassed by my self-inflicted poor bill of health, and would rather no one else know about my bad drinking habits.”

The man swallowed slightly and nodded, “O-of course sir! I’ll take care of things here. I won’t tell anyone what they don’t need to know!”

Azul smiled and pat the man’s shoulder, “Excellent. Thank you...” He stepped towards the door out of the kitchen, “I’ll let the rest of the staff know that the twins and I came down with a bug and won’t be able to attend the opening...”

The head chef turned and watched as Azul stumbled slightly into the dining room, “Are you going to be okay, Mr. Ashengrotto?”

Azul stood there for a moment and took a long, deep breath out, staring down at his purple patterned socks as he briefly lost himself to his thoughts. Eventually he nodded, “Yeah... We’re going to be okay.” He stepped forward through the lounge, away from the nervous employee standing in the kitchen. “We’ll figure this out. Just like we always do... We’ll be okay.”

[impyssadobsessions]

Superman could absolutely take Danny in a fight at least 3/10 (and that's being somewhat unfair to Superman) and here's why: heat vision. Just hold eye contact and wait for him to become tangible and the fight's over.

Like yeah in the right circumstances I think Danny could kill the DC universe on his own but it'd be Complicated and take years of Dedication and Planning. Like the Dark Dan plot could still work and in fact this makes it scarier bc it means he's also a brilliant strategist, but I'm sick of it being treated like Danny could one shot the entirety of the Justice League and still have time for lunch. Y'all are just stacking the deck in his favor so much it makes the entire fight fundamentally unfair. Danny vs the Justice League in a void? He's toast. But Danny vs a Justice League he has total intelligence on and they aren't even aware his species exists? Let alone their strengths and weaknesses? Of course he's going to win! Anybody could win in those odds!

Realistically Batman would have ghost weapons ready and equipped so fast after his surfacing his head would spin. And the magic portion of the League could beat him nine times out of ten even when surprised. He ain't invincible, guys.

(I don't mean this as hate, btw! Honestly, this is a really fun crossover, idea and I'm loving the stories. I'm just a bit tired of seeing everyone else nerfed in them and wanted to vent lol)

Whoa ok! kek I mostly just like the idea of Danny beating them.. because its funny XD I think most do to. So I don't think anyone truly means to nerf the league, just that its funny. Which I understand your need to vent because justice league are capable for a reason. They're season heroes with various backgrounds and powers. And they work together. But yeah it does depend on circumstance. Like everything its depending on how you take the story. Like Danny is still 14, op 14 yr old but 14. I don't agree fully with the heat rays thing because if we go by that logic Danny could attack while intangible. Or invisible. so its just eh.. up to the author on what make the scene compelling in a story. But in a full out battle with Superman, I think it be more of a draw.. and that's out of morals and not really power. Superman has more experience but he also fighting a kid. So that kind of thing. And then it depends on what logic you go by. I think Danny has the advantage in the beginning but if the justice league keeps at it will win because they are more experienced with access to resources. (plus yea the magic) And I think Danny just a surprise to the League then anything. I just love all interpretations kek they all fun to speculate~

[atrial-ofhorror-if]

MINI UPDATE

Hey y'all, this is a lil quick update (so I won't have to do one next week). I'm at 12k words and counting, so I've exceeded what I expected the new content to contain. However, I'm STILL not done yet. That one scene that was giving me the blues has been written out though which is my guiding light through the darkness. It just needs editing, and polishing and then I can import it into twine. After finishing that, I've been focusing solely on the carnival/self-healing scene. There's more paths and choices in that one, so I think that's where the majority of the word count is actually coming from. I feel (and hope) that you guys will enjoy it!

Now I wanted to wait til I put the updated content out before I made an post about this but I'll just do it now.

The entirety of Episode One won't come until the end of October/beginning of November. I KNOW that's a long time from now, but I want to give myself time to write and edit, considering that its going to be a significance update.

Realistically, it could come before then, (going off of how I write...) but I don't want to pressure myself by giving an unrealistic deadline.

Thats all for now my loves, if you have any questions or whatever feel free to shoot me an ask 🤎🤎

[shy-peacock]

Au where namaari and raya are this school play, and they both wanted the lead but instead only one of them got the lead and the other got the leads love interest, and they happen to hate eachother. But the two of them have a couple kiss scenes that theyre both dreading…for now…

This could be a college or high hook setting doesn’t matter to me😊

Here y'all go <3 Rated G/T for cursing and kisses UwU

Everyone was staring at them.

I mean-...isn’t this what she wanted?

Main lead in the school play, lights on her, everyone cheering her on as she performed. She knew what this could mean, being just a freshman in college with barely much to show to the upper grades. Yes, she was good at acting and singing and playing the parts from a random villager to the lead role whether male or female. But that was in high school, here she was in the big leagues and had been given the opportunity of a lifetime to surpass the seniors who had worked their whole college career to get where she was starting off.

Yet-...she couldn’t do it.

And all because of Namaari.

“For fucks sake Raya, it’s just a kiss!?” Sisu called from the rows and rows of seats before them. Her, along with the other members of their drama class mumbling as well, agreeing with her blue-haired friend who oversaw the entire play. A ‘director’ of some sorts, even though their Professor was the one who had the final say in everything. Making Raya wonder who was to blame for allowing…’this’....to happen, her best friend who was thriving off the scene they were trying to pull off or the man who had signed off on the play to begin with.

“Yeah, Raya-..don’t be such a chicken shit.” her co-star, Namaari, scoffed. Smug, looking far too pleased with herself as she stood just a few inches away from Raya. Her ‘lover’ in the play, a questionably equal main character. Someone Raya was meant to kiss, several times, throughout the entirety of the play. “It’s just a kiss-” Namaari added, scrunching that stupid nose of hers as she did.

God.

Namaari was SO annoying.

She had the pleasure of knowing Namaari since day one of college, getting the awful luck of having her as a roomie. The unable to get along, it seemed, as they spent most of their time arguing or throwing insults at one another. Raya particularly annoyed that Namaari majored in the same things she had, took the same classes, and now was a part of the same play she would be starring in. Making nearly every day a day full of living, breathing, and Namaari.

Raya couldn’t wait till next year when she would finally have a new living arrangement. But, in the here and now, she was stuck with her. Stuck kissing her for that matter, considering Raya wouldn’t give up this part for the world. Meaning she had to bite through it, get it over and done with the first time so no one could say she had to do it again.

Not at least until opening night…

“She’s just scared she’s going to like it..” Namaari announced, continuing to tease Raya while she had the chance. Seeing her flustered, knowing this was absolutely killing her. Having quite a lot of fun at seeing her so miserable.

“No, I’m just scared you’ll get attached.” Raya shot back, glaring at her.

“As if-..you’re far too annoying to-”

“LADIES!” Sisu yelled, using her megaphone then to get their attention, “continue the scene please so we can all go home!”

A round of annoyed huffs and groaned agreeances followed, clearly all of them over Raya’s hesitation. Especially since it was nearly an hour now that they had been trying to get this scene just perfect. Adding to Raya’s embarrassment.

Still, they ran through the lines.

Once again the stage fell quiet.

All eyes on them.

Raya was meant to pull Namaari into a kiss, her character was meant to at least. But the line came and then it went, a long pause hovered over them, and then Sisu called out again.

“RAYA!”

“Namaari just kiss her!” someone else added.

“No-..the point is Raya’s character has to do it.” Namaari laughed, “I can’t help it that scaredy-pants over here won’t do the scene correctly!”

“I’m not scared!” Raya shot.

“Well, can we get someone else to do it then?” an additional voice called, “Raya’s not willing to do it, so find someone who can.”

“No!” both Raya and Namaari yelled out, pausing no sooner had they done so, turning to look at one another. Both confused why the other said ‘no’ and, even more so, confused why they themselves had said it. A moment, which held the whole theater still in the silence of it, arose and Raya knew her face had gone bright red. Knowing how that looked, how it sounded. Diverting it all with a very loud huff of annoyance.

“Fine!” she snapped, grabbing Namaari then by the back of her neck and tugging her down and into her lips. Kissing her, firmly, for as much as she was worth. She felt Namaari sort of stumble into the kiss, startled by it, only to relax and move into it then. Raya’s lips moving against her, deepening as their bodies pressed against one another. Warm, liquid friction spreading throughout Raya’s body.

It began and then it ended.

Somehow so fast and yet so slow at the same time, Raya moving back to see Namaari slowly opening her eyes. Dazed, taking a steady breath as their eyes stayed locked. Both clearly feeling something from the kiss, Raya herself nearly wanting to slip back into it. Only, she remembered herself just at the last moment. Recalling where they were, amongst at least a dozen people who had waited over an hour for Raya to kiss Namaari and now here she was unable to stop. She took a step back, barely glancing at the class that was their audience. Spotting Sisu in the crowd alone, her eyes wide as if she were surprised to see the whole thing occur despite asking for it again and again.

“There, everyone can go home now!” Raya stated, her voice an octave higher than usual as she marched off the stage.

~~~~~~~~

Later, Raya waited outside the building for Sisu. Plans for dinner already made hours ago, despite the gross weather outside as it rained heavily. Raya standing just under the roofing, preparing for the mad dash across campus with her bestie to get warm food. Hoping her clothes wouldn’t get too wet, however knowing it would more than likely be drenched.

The door opened and she turned, expecting Sisu, only to see it was Namaari. Her co-star, roomie and someone she had just locked lips with a few minutes ago; coming towards the steps as she was no doubtedly about to make her way back to the dorm with an umbrella in her hand.

Raya quickly turned her attention forward, face heating, praying Namaari didn’t have it in her today to approach her about the kiss, the energy between them. Knowing something was felt between them from it, yet Raya was not ready to acknowledge it. Not now, not here in the open at least!

Namaari stopped alright, stepping directly at Raya’s side. Quiet at first and then, with a rustle at her side, Raya watched as Namaari lifted the large umbrella up. Not over herself, but over Raya. The long-haired woman turning to see Namaari’s eyes pointed ahead, yet her arm was outstretched towards her, holding the umbrella for her to take.

Raya stared at it, unsure what was happening, until Namaari spoke.

“You and Sisu are going out to eat, right?” she commented, “I’m just going back to our dorm…so I don’t mind getting wet.”

Raya stood there, silently, so Namaari continued.

“It should keep you both dry-..just make sure you bring it back.”

Raya still hadn’t taken it, so Namaari moved it closer to her hand until Raya’s brain finally caught up and had the sense to take it. Grasping it, watching as the stray drips of water that tickled her nose or shoes slide down over the umbrella and away from her. Namaari smirking, nodding, more content now that Raya had taken the umbrella.

“See you.” she said, stepping out into the rain.

She took a few steps before Raya, again, finally caught up.

“T-thank you!” she yelled, “I…thanks..Namaari…”

Namaari turned, her smile warmer then, before she waved her off.

Raya waving back with her free hand, feeling her heart warm then. Her hand grasping the umbrella tighter, feeling a wave of-

“Awww…” a voice cooed behind her and when she turned she saw Sisu approaching then, giving her a cheerful little grin. Seeing the entire exchange, unable to help herself then as she found the whole thing quite adorable. Much to Raya’s dismay as Sisu walked up to her side and gave her a knowing look, matched with a large grin.

“Don’t give me that look-..” Raya huffed.

“Uh-huh..” Sisu chirped, delighted.

“That was nothing, Sisu…don’t read into it.”

“Mhm, I won’t~”

“Seriously.” Raya reiterated, “let it go.”

But even as Raya said this, she couldn’t help but think about the kind gesture Namaari had done for her. As well as that kiss they had shared.

[stickers-on-a-laptop]

BL tag game

tagged by @lelephantsnail! thinking time lmao

All-Time Favorite BL Character and Why?

Okay you know what? Fuck off it is time for my boy Akk of Hotel Stars to SHINE. My boy, in the show no one but me and @lee-donghun liked, was just. Holy shit. The CONVOS we had on this dude. Imagine the most bi character you've ever seen in your life, like he's clearly bi and surrounded by other queer people, stating quite seriously and not at ALL homophobically, that the gayest couple in the group "seems pretty straight." He clearly likes the girl! And she's great! But he also sabotages EVERYTHING for his boy Tone! IT IS SO FUCKING FUNNY.

One Character You Want to Punt Into the Stratosphere

Really truly honestly? Someone from a popular BL that I will not say. Cause I do not quite trust the fandom other than my tiny corner where we were all like "are y'all GOOD." Sorry. :/

Best Music Moment from a BL

You know, the problem is is that I get very embarrassed during like singing parts and I'm also pretty bad at like paying attention to the music. But my favorite OST would be the SOTUS theme song.

A Popular Het Text You’d Like to See as a BL

As problematic as it is, I do love a good CEO/employee. So probably that. The office BLs I've seen so far like equals or boss, not specifically CEO. Thanks Aaron Yan, that's your fault. (There's like. 3 CEO/employee dramas with him. I loved them all.)

BL Scene that Makes You Laugh

Okay this is gonna be such a niche one but jesus CHRIST the fantasies in 8.2 Byo no Hosoku. Especially the one with my boy Geiz of Zi-O. I haven't even SEEN Zi-O yet. I was losing my goddamn mind.

Biggest BL Disappointment

Probably 7 Project. They fucked up BounPrem! How do you do that??? And the girls' story sucked! For what?? I had to drop it after ep 4 I was so annoyed. OH WAIT NO. Gen Y. What the hell. It was supposed to be our og 2moons cast making fun of 2moons. Instead it sucked and had that weird "we had sex when you were drunk" "joke" that I HATE.

2 Random Characters Who Would Make Hilarious Exes

You know who would be a hilarious ex? Tops of Ingredients. You will simply not get his food anymore. He can and will ignore you extremely well. I do not think he'd be a fun ex to have in real life, which makes him funny in fiction. Idk who'd be another hilarious ex lmao.

Who Would Be the Funniest Person to Watch a BL in Its Entirety And Which One Would You Make Them Watch

You know, I'd SAY Mob from Zettai BL but he'd probably watch them all on his own to prepare to not be gay. Not that it works. (Manifesting s3!!!) So I'd have to say...hmmm...man idek. I'm having trouble even remembering what's like a BL and what's just like...queer as I look over my list lmao. Maybe make Tsuge watch Utsukare.

Best Wardrobe Moment? Character or Otherwise

You seem to think I remember wardrobes. I do not. I am the person who has 10,000 graphic tees and 5 pairs of shorts and 2 pairs of jeans. I do not notice clothes unless it's like REALLY eye catching.

tagging: @incandescentflower @funyasm @yougetsomekisses