#but that doesnt have to define them! they have the free will to change for the better

[spinosacha]

Sorry for the awkward crop but I am cooking.

But seriously, it is so facinating that this is such a defined trope. Like there are so few butches in media so the fact that three of them have so much in common is telling. I think it's interesting how these masculine characters are disempowered when masculinity is often associated with power in male characters. These women however are masculine while being trapped and limited.

Often these characters masculinity is even shaped by their disenfranchised position, i.e they have to fight to survive and thus become tough. None the less they also take pride in their gender expression and physical adeptness. This relationship to fighting is complex, it's both something they find some agency in, something Gideon and Vi could work on even while being trapped in a small confined space, but also something that is forced upon them, especially in the case of Karlach.

In the societies they are from, people with real power get to avoid getting their hands dirty themselves. Fighting is power exercised on a lower plane of society so even when the characters themselves can look physically imposing and threatning that doesnt translate to actual privilegde.

This link between oppression and masculinty can be relatable for butches and I think it’s a facinating way to make the characters expression translate well into our experience marginilzation. I also really appreciate how these characters are very compassionate and protective people, traits a lot of butches identify with and tie to their butch identity.

Not to get all anthropological about it but it makes sense that the characters who are confined to operate in a more fragmented plane of society also are very attached to their close community. In this sense, being traditionally masculine by being a good fighter, is related to their protective and compassionate qualities since both fighting and kinship takes place in very localised personal spheres.

I think this trope is a really neat exploration of how power isnt as binary as "femininity is opressed while masculinity is franchised" but that the intersection of identity massively changes the implications of masculinity and femininity.

That being said, we could really use some butch nerds. Desperatly, like I am begging. Like the type that would spend free time analysing fictional character on tumblr.

Edit: it has come to my attention that the ninth is indeed located underground, which I kind of thought but was unsure about, but anyway just imagine that “has spent a lot of time underground” is in the inner circle

The specificity of this trope continues to amaze me

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

every once in a while, i have an urge to sit down and write an entire essay about The Purge franchise, specifically through the frame of reactions from people who either have not watched the movies or watched them while pissing on the poor.

because oh my fucking god do those reactions send me into a violent tailspin of irrational anger.

"the purge doesn't make logistical sense"

okay so have you ever heard of fiction? the train in snowpiercer doesnt make logistical sense either. it doesnt have to because its a vehicle in which to tell a story.

"people wouldnt just commit violent crimes because its legal now."

no they wouldnt. do you know that the first movie takes place on the 6th purge? do you know that story about frogs and boiling water?

"no one would ever agree to this. politicians couldnt implement this."

yeah so the fourth movie - The First Purge - is actually a prequel that explains how and why it got implemented.

see as a result of a general economic crisis, a new political party called the NFFA (new founding fathers of america) came to power, and two years into their political term, they ran "an experiment" and that experiment was the purge. the first purge took place on staten island; residents were offered $5000 to participate which comprised staying on staten island and letting the government put a tracking chip in your arm. there was also the opportunity of making more money if they "participated further."

people didnt all agree with this. thats a whole ass thing in the movie and the protagonist literally leads protests against it. it is a controversial thing. the NFFA literally have a sociologist as the face of it, one who talks to news reporters and assures people she and the experiment are apolitical.

the experiment is also fucking rigged. the government really send in roves of neo-nazis to kill citizens as a way of showing how "successful" the experiment is. it was never an experiment.

"but why would people believe that the purge is a good policy?

have you ever heard of propaganda?

throughout the films, there are constant displays of the propaganda the NFFA use to keep the citizens believing in the purge.

the NFFA are constantly lying to the citizens about the actual truth about the country. they often talk about how the stock market is doing great as evidence of a stable economy. there are fake experts in white lab coats lying to you about the purge being a good idea.

these movies are not subtle. they tell you outright that the government is lying to the people.

jesus fucking christ, in the third movie, part of the plot is the fact that in response to corruption being revealed, people are turning against the purge and protesting. dante bishop is a goddamn anti-purge activist.

"crime rate year round wouldnt go down because of the purge, that doesnt make sense "

yeah no shit sherlock. thats literally a defining theme in the entireass franchise. the government is lying. they actually use the purge as population control because theyre fascists.

in the first movie, the NFFA claim the country is basically crime-free and that the unemployment rate is 1%. do you think james demonaco wrote that with the intention of you believing it to be true? have you considered that maybe you were meant to be like huh, thats suspicious?

the first movie is the least overtly political, but one of the defining themes is in regards to the performative nature of the purge and the way it is mythologised.

"all crime is legal. so what, can i commit tax fraud?"

the rules of the purge are made up of. the entire idea is performative. the NFFA are not beholden to these rules; if it benefits them (or if not doing so poses risk to them), they will arrest you for "crimes" you committed during the purge.

in the third movie, The Purge: Election Year, they change the rules because of the risk charlie roan poses to them. roan is a senator running for president on an explicitly anti-purge platform and there is a very good chance that she will win the election, so they revoke the immunity (its still illegal to murder them) granted to government officials during the purge because they plan to kill her.

the NFFA do not care what citizens do during the purge, as long as it is not threatening to them.

"how would they even know if you killed someone an hour after the purge ended?"

they wouldnt. they also wouldnt care.

see above.

"the purge is stupid. people arent inherently violent."

no. no theyre not. thats the fucking point of these films.

they are not subtle films. they come with a free portable toilet so you can watch them without pissing on the poor.

what did you think the plots of these movies were? if the movies were not directly engaging with the concept of the purge and what it actually means, what the fuck do you think the movies are about? do you think the movies are just 90 minutes of indiscriminate violence?

[marianadecarlos]

hewwo ma amie !! i came as stated cus bourbon - habsburg infodump exchange

I would actually want a presentation about mariana de austria ... im a loser who doesnt know much about her ! i read about her when she got to spain and was confused about spanish (that was so real from her) but i dont know more cool stuff about her at all ... so feel free to tell me anything you find remarkable about her !

who is your favourite bourbon ? :3

Thank you for this Question:

Queen Mariana of Austria is known as the Mother of Charles II of Spain and the niece/wife of Philip IV. She was Queen Regent when her husband Philip IV died and ruled on Carlos II's behalf until he was 14. Like Charles II, Queen Mariana was a victim of the classic “decline of Spain” paradigm. She is defined by 19th-century historians as “weak,” “unstable,” and “ignorant” but also “Machiavellian,” “scheming,” “with a German outlook” (meaning foreign), at times “melancholic” because she suffered from migraines, and was overly pious and uninterested in politics because she “dressed as a nun." She was accused of handing power over to her favorites; Jose Everardo Nithard and Fernando de Valenzuela. In reality, She was smart, strategic, strong, decisive, and seemingly tactile. Her favorites played a dominant role in her regency but her strong and decisive personality and her extensive and consistent participation in all aspects of government suggest otherwise. She faced two political crises during her regency the first was in 1669 resolved by her dismissal of Nithard; the second, between 1675 and 1677, ended with Valenzuela’s fall and her exile. There is evidence in state papers to prove that she did not surrender power to them. Speaking of Jose Everardo Nithard, He was Mariana's tutor, friend, and later her confessor. He was made inquisitor General. As for Valenzuela, Known as the palace elf, due to his influence and connections to people in high places. He married a woman who is part the queens valet. He provided Queen Mariana information about gossip and rumors that were circulating in Madrid. Valenzuela got more influencial overtime which created tension between him and the court. He was Mariana's protégé. Their friendship caused controversy and nasty rumors where made about them as a result. The worst one I believe was the rumor of Queen Mariana sleeping with Valenzuela. The fact that people actually believe that rumor makes me angry. Mariana was dressed as a nun because this is the type of dress worn by Habsburg widows. She made a few changes to the garb like having princely folds and lavish materials. Queen Mariana was exposed to the Spanish cultural traditions because Mariana's mother is Philip IV's sister. She was exposed to Italian culture because of two generations of italian empresses. Mariana both observed and participated in court ballets, rituals, and ceremonies; her dance master, Santo Ventura, was highly regarded. Boys received this kind of instruction as well. Leopold I, for example, was an avid consumer and practitioner of theater and music as emperor. At the age of seven, for example, Mariana publicly greeted her parents on their return from the Diet of Regensburg in 1641 by saluting her mother in the Spanish style and her father in Latin. When the fourteen-year-old performed a similar greeting in Trento, this time as queen of Spain, she had had at least seven years of practice. Queen Mariana was educated and spoke Latin, Spanish and German well. Judging by her education and her fleunt spanish, I doubt she struggled speaking spanish. I read somewhere that Queen Mariana as a child loves playing with dolls. She was cheerful, obedient, and lively girl. Her marriage to King Philip IV of Spain was always described as a terrible marriage because King Philip "cheated" on her, their different personalities, and massive age gap. In reality, They had an affectionate relationship and King Philip was loyal throughout their marriage. He described himself as a change man and would give Mariana everything she wanted. They did struggle financially though and at times could get caught in a series of arguments. I mean no marriage is perfect.

Gossip writer Barrioneuvo reports that one day The Queen asked for pastries and commented that she was not served for some days. She was told that the pastry cook would not supply the palace until a large outstanding bill had been paid. She removed a ring from her finger and ordered a servant to exchange it for pastries; Manuelillo de Gante told her to put the ring back on and gave the servant a copper to buy some tarts so that the Queen can finish her dinner.

Queen Mariana was the woman behind Castillio De San Marco, After a pirate attack in June 1668 roused Mariana into action. Queen Mariana was horrified receiving this news because the attack was so brutal. On March 11, 1669, the queen regent issued her decree ordering the viceroy of New Spain to send subsidies to the city. She also added funding for the building of a masonry fortification and additional soldiers. To oversee the project, she sent Don Manuel de Cendoya to St. Augustine as the new royal governor. Her judgement protected and spurred the city’s growth over the following decades. This growth even led to a later governor requesting the same regent queen for a new two-story, coquina Governor’s House in St. Augustine.

Mariana was a good mother-in-law to Marie Louise of Orleans. After the wedding of Marie Louise, Carlos introduced Marie Louise. Marie Louise bowed to her but Queen Mariana grabbed her hands and told her to stand; and said "Call me mother" with a smile.

Mariana in the year 1696 felt pain in her breast turns out she had breast cancer and she tries her best to hide it because she did not want Maria Anna of Nueburg to take over. The pain was unbearable that she asked the doctors to check her breast. When they examined the Queen they found a huge tumor in her breast. Their is no treatment for this and she was offered relics and prayers. When she died.

Reports of miracles attributed to her quickly began to circulate. These miracles and her body’s reported “incorruptibility” three years after her death led to a beatification proceeding in the last years of Carlos’s reign. Mariana’s path to sainthood, however, came to an abrupt end when the new dynasty, the Bourbons, took power. Both the beatification proceedings in 1698 and its abandonment in 1702 were as politically motivated as everything else in her life had been

I won't give too much information on her regency because there is a book about it called Queen, Mother, and Stateswoman Mariana of Austria and the government of Spain by Silvia Z. Mitchell. This book is my source about her and the reason why I made this blog so her side of the story will be known. Other sources are from https://governorshouselibrary.wordpress.com/2022/09/22/mariana-de-austria-the-queen-behind-the-castillo-de-san-marcos/?fbclid=IwY2xjawE5D5UBHUpP8HVhtFboR9ZThC2j5LNDLj531pKjmVxtGQbf7A2yMOo2AuNxqEU3Qw

I like 4 bourbons, Philip V, Luis I, Fernando VI, and Carlos III. If I had to choose one it would be Carlos III because he modernized Spain and imposed great reforms.

Sorry I took so long to reply

[offbranddrpepsi]

Hello! I'm not sure if you do this so feel free to just ignore this request if you don't :]! Could I request a Reyna X trans! Male reader that already had his surgery but some people were mean to him saying his still a female (how would Reyna react to them, comfort reader, etc) have a great day/night!

I am always open for asks like this because I know how much comfort they can give people as well as it just feels nice to have something like this sometimes. I hope you enjoy it and will be writing it as both top and bottom surgery (though the focus will be top surgery for obvious reasons). This is not proof read as im still a bit sick and finished a book recently so rereading anything makes my brain soup so i apologize for any mistakes.

Reyna is no stranger to being different though she doesn't understand why it is such a big deal for some. As such she is as well read as she can be when it comes to queer issues, especially if they involve her partner or someone close to her. She may not be perfect but she is always willing to listen and understand. Since day one when you introduced yourself she had asked for your pronouns, a habit Gekko had gotten her into, and didn't ask any questions past that. At that point you had obvious defined hips, despite trying to hide them, and a notable bump in your chest as binders weren't perfect but she never questioned it. You called yourself a man so she did and when you came out to her you could tell the dots connecting in her brain as you spoke. If someone misgendered you she would just very bluntly correct them with a "he." then stare at them with those vibrant eyes until you folded. Reyna was like having a guard dog that, even if they disregarded your identity, made it hard for anyone to disrespect you to your face in her presence. As you two grew closer and became a pair she would get a little intrusive but well meaning. She would ask you about physical things ranging from affection to more intimate ones. How you wanted her to handle you or refer to you, if you were comfortable with her seeing you in certain clothing or ways etc. Reyna is a woman who likes to establish clear boundaries and does so with you so she can be the best girlfriend she can be while also making sure you are comfortable. If permitted she can be found at times stealing your clothes like most girlfriends would, favoring anything oversized or jackets. She never stops gushing about her partner and boyfriend, even talking about how her sister would adore you and probably see you as a brother. At the end of the day who you are at the surface doesnt matter to her as she cares more about whats under it all, appearances be damned.

Post surgery shes adorable and overbearing as you heal. She helps change bandages, drains, even helps you shower if needed. Her radiance lets her monitor your heart rate and body temp so at the first sign of any infection or inflammation shes right on top of it making you take medicine and rest. Once you're healed enough she is the first to nuzzle herself into your chest and sit in silence as she hears your heart beat, you breath, just you exist as a more full version of yourself thats hopefully happier being in your own skin. Given how supportive and loving she is she absolutely takes it HORRIBLY when people are still mean and cruel to you. She makes sure to over talk them with your pronouns and correct name, throwing compliments at you in there as well to make them feel absolutely smothered by her. Of course thats when you're there, when you arent shes snarling and threatening them in the way shes best at. Teeth bared shes asking them to repeat themselves, seeing how dedicated they are to their bigotry before tearing into them. If theres one things Reyna is good at its being scary and damn does she scare them into at least being politely silent. When it comes to comforting you shes your biggest fan already but shes admittedly a tad bad at it because she doesn't really get why they have to be like that. Before it made sense because maybe they slipped up or just weren't thinking but now that you've taken steps to masculinize yourself more she sees absolutely zero excuse. Reyna holds you against her and promises to make sure you don't have to hurt again, to weed out those that would treat you this way. She makes threats of ripping tongues out but calms herself to turn her attention to you. You're the one that was hurt by people to small minded to be accepting, being vengeful won't fix that right now. For as long as you need she is there, holding you and talking to you. She talks you into setting up a date where she introduces you to her family that accept you just as she had. She arranges shopping trips to get you more masculine clothes and even helps you donate your old binders to other trans youth. Reyna even pulls Gekko in to "help his big brother out" as theres just some things about being a man that she doesn't understand but knows having someone like him around would be helpful

[angeliqueiguess]

Crushing Hard, Lifting Heavy (Pt. 1)

w.count: 2.1k

pairing: gymtrainer! jeno x afab!reader

genre: little fic (based on this requested moodboard)

summary: Lee Jeno, Y/n's charismatic trainer, keeps her motivated through every session. She tells herself it’s just professional, but who knows… She could be wrong.

tags: swearing, suggestive, kindness king jeno, yn being oblivious most of the time (dont hate me its just in the first part) snarky comments, sarcasm, fem reader but it doesnt specify how she looks like.

Since Y/N started training at that gym, her life changed completely. She wasn't doing it to look better, but to take care of her mental health; exercise motivated her to keep going... That, and her trainer: Lee Jeno.

A tall guy with broad shoulders and a narrow waist, sweet features, and smiling eyes that seemed to light up everything around him. Although Y/N could describe him perfectly, there was something about him that she couldn’t quite understand: his attitude. Jeno wasn't serious or distant; on the contrary, his kindness was almost excessive, and that left her feeling puzzled.

—Let me help you with that —Jeno said, taking the dumbbells from her hands, lightly brushing his fingers against hers before placing them on the floor in front of her.

—You need to position yourself correctly, with your feet parallel, okay? —He gave her a direct look that made Y/N immediately look away, feeling heat rise to her cheeks. Jeno noticed but simply smiled calmly.

—Thank you —she murmured, her voice soft and almost shy.

Without realizing it, she remained in the same position. Then Jeno placed both hands on her shoulders, turning her toward the mirror. He positioned himself behind her, maintaining a careful distance—close enough to guide her, but not too close to create discomfort or raise suspicions among the other gym clients.

—Alright, now take the dumbbells and relax your arms before flexing them —Jeno instructed calmly, stepping away to stand beside her while explaining how to perform the exercise. With precise movements, he demonstrated the technique with his own body before moving back behind her.

Y/N nodded silently and innocently leaned down to pick up the small dumbbells, unaware that Jeno had returned to his previous position. Hir breath caught for a moment as he glanced at her figure. I'm just a man, he thought to himself. Clearing his throat to regain his composure, he forced a somewhat fake smile before speaking again.

—Good job. If you have any questions, I’ll be where I always am —he said, turning to walk away, slightly flushed. She turned around just to watch him leave, admiring the silhouette of his broad, well-defined back as he walked away.

Every time Y/n finished her routine and packed her things to head home, she noticed that Jeno was always nearby to say goodbye. At first, she thought it was part of his job and that he did it for all his clients, considering it a gym policy.

—Will you come tomorrow? —he asked, setting aside his water bottle, which was always by his side. She smiled with a hint of sadness, knowing she couldn’t attend.

—I can’t, I’m sorry —she replied, nervously adjusting her bag as she noticed that most of the clients were starting to leave. Jeno tilted his head slightly, raising an eyebrow in a curious gesture.

—Are you already bored of your trainer? —he remarked suggestively. Y/N opened her mouth to speak but only managed to stammer softly.

—N-no —she cleared her throat and, with a bit more determination, added—: It’s not that, it’s just that I have plans. —She laughed nervously, feeling somewhat embarrassed, and Jeno smiled knowingly. He sat down on one of the stools scattered around the gym.

—It’s okay, I was just joking with you. Anyway, we’ll see each other when you’re free to keep training, alright? —Jeno said as Y/N nodded with a smile. She inclined her head slightly in a gesture of farewell, and he did the same.

—Take care and have fun —he told her as she turned to walk toward the exit. Jeno stayed behind, watching her, feeling as if his eyes were magnetically drawn to her figure.

He sighed as he watched her leave, just as his coworker approached.

—If I were you, I would have done things that are beyond words —Jaemin said shamelessly, looking toward the exit before leaning on Jeno's shoulder, who let out a huff and shrugged Jaemin’s arm off.

—Don’t talk about her like that —Jeno replied, frowning as he looked at Jaemin with disapproval.

—Hey, I'm just a man; don’t blame me —Jaemin defended, raising his hands slightly as he stepped back a bit.—Still, I’m surprised —he said, looking at Jeno with confusion.

—What do you mean? —he asked, furrowing his brow.

—You haven't even invited her out, man —he paused—. How long has she been training here? A year? —Jaemin tilted his head, scrutinizing his friend.

—A year and three months —Jeno answered, to which his friend let out a laugh that echoed through almost the entire gym, not caring about the clients still there.

—Shut your stupid ass up —Jeno retorted with a locked jaw, annoyed and not expecting a response from his colleague.

—My man, you’re completely whipped—Jaemin shook his head as he walked away, leaving Jeno lost in thought.

All this time, he had been assisting her, listening to her... and desiring her. He longed to be the lucky one to do "things that go beyond words," as Jaemin put it. He knew she didn't have a partner; she made it clear by telling him everything since he was the only one she talked to between sets. Sometimes, that even managed to annoy Mark, his boss, but Jeno didn’t care at all, he was too whipped to care.

It had been a week. Seven days where Jeno had done nothing but overthink, searching for the perfect plan to ask her out without it blowing up in his face. The last thing he wanted was for her to stop talking to him or, worse, switch gyms just to avoid him.

—Bro, it’s easy. Just ask her when she’s leaving, —Jaemin said from the other end of the line.

Jeno stayed silent, jaw clenched. He was desperate—so much so that he’d called Jaemin for advice, something he’d never do under normal circumstances. But this time, he didn’t have a choice.

Frustrated, he ran a hand through his hair, messing it up as some strands fell over his forehead.

—It’s not that simple, Jaemin. If you were in my shoes, you’d be just as stressed as I am,—he muttered, trying to keep it together as Jaemin burst into laughter.

—What if I ask her out for you? I don’t mind doing it.—

—Shut the hell up, Jaemin, —Jeno growled, feeling a surge of anger rise like a wave of heat. —If you even try, I swear I’ll break every fucking existing bone in your body.—

The threat came out more serious than he intended. Just imagining Jaemin flirting with her made Jeno’s blood boil—it was like defending what he wanted most, as if she were his prey.

—Whoa, chill! I was kidding,— Jaemin said with a nervous laugh, fully aware that Jeno’s temper wasn’t something to take lightly.

Jeno let out a long sigh, dropping his phone on the kitchen counter and switching it to speaker mode to free up his hands. As he rubbed the back of his neck, he paced around the room, trying to calm himself.

—You’re useless. I don’t even know why I ask you for advice,— Jeno muttered, turning to pour himself a glass of water. He stared at it for a moment before quietly admitting, —I don’t know what’s wrong with me... Every time I see her, something lights up inside me.—

—You sure it's not your dick?,— Jaemin said smugly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Jeno pressed his lips together, tempted to hang up, but Jaemin was the only “help” he had—even if it was terrible help.

—Shut the fuck up,— Jeno snapped, placing the glass next to the phone. —That’s it. I’ll ask her out tomorrow.—

Jaemin responded with celebratory noises, as if Jeno had just achieved the impossible.

—You’re welcome, by the way,— Jaemin added with a satisfied tone.

Jeno clicked his tongue, irritated.

—You didn’t help at all,— he shot back before hanging up, cutting the conversation short.

Now, only the hardest part remained: asking her.

Today was the day. Jeno woke up earlier than usual—way too early for his liking. He glanced at the clock and cursed under his breath, dragging himself to the bathroom for a shower. The cold water was the only thing that helped him clear his mind, the one time he could think without distractions.

As soon as he saw her walk through the gym doors, he felt the blood rush to his head, pooling at the tips of his ears, which were probably glowing red by now. Before he could react, Jaemin appeared behind him with a mischievous grin and pinched his right ear.

—Motherfu— Jeno muttered, delivering a quick but solid punch to Jaemin’s arm.

Jaemin yelped dramatically, clutching his bicep like he’d been gravely wounded.

The noise caught Y/n’s attention, and she glanced over at them. Her gaze landed on Jaemin, rubbing his arm theatrically, and then on Jeno, who had looked up at just the wrong moment. He froze, realizing she might have heard his friend’s exaggerated complaint.

Without missing a beat, Jeno flashed a wide smile—an expression that starkly contrasted with his earlier seriousness.

She smiled back, giving him a small wave before heading to the lockers. She set her bag down calmly, getting ready to start her workout, unfazed by the brief spectacle she’d witnessed.

Jeno kept watching her discreetly, careful not to make it obvious. For once, Jaemin didn’t tease him, still nursing his bruised pride from the earlier punch. Not that Jeno cared—his attention was entirely on Y/n, who seemed completely absorbed in her routine.

His gaze shifted between her, the gym machines, and the clock, repeating the cycle endlessly. He knew exactly when she’d finish, and he’d been anticipating this moment all week. He scolded himself internally for being so obsessed, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t help it.

He took a few measured steps toward her, pretending to adjust a nearby machine. It was a weak excuse, but at least it wouldn’t seem too obvious.

Then, he saw her pick up her water bottle. Time slowed as he fixated on the way she drank, following every movement involuntarily. It only lasted a second, but long enough for Jeno to notice a couple of droplets escape the bottle, sliding down her chin and tracing a slow path downward. He swallowed hard, mentally cursing himself for getting caught in the moment. He tore his gaze away, forcing himself to think of anything else. Just when he was about to let it go, something unexpected happened.

She spoke.

Y/n took the initiative, catching Jeno completely off guard. Until now, he had always been the one to start conversations, but today, for some reason, she made the first move.

—Hey, again,—she said with a soft smile.

Jeno tilted his head slightly to meet her gaze, given the small difference in height between them.

—I didn’t want to bother you today, so I followed yesterday’s routine,— she explained.

—Bother me? Why would you bother me?— Jeno asked, trying to sound calm, though he looked away briefly to hide his nerves.

—I saw your friend earlier. He seemed...hurt?— she replied, glancing in Jaemin’s direction. That idiot, Jeno thought with a sigh.

—Oh, him? Don’t worry—Jaemin’s always like that,— Jeno said dismissively.

She nodded without giving it much thought and headed toward her locker.

—You’re leaving already?— Jeno blurted out, immediately regretting how stupid it sounded.

—Yeah… I’m done for today,— Y/n answered with a light laugh, amused by her trainer’s awkwardness.

The gym was slowly emptying, creating the perfect opportunity. Jeno took a small step closer, grateful for the growing privacy of the moment.

—Why?— she added, placing her empty water bottle into her bag.

Here goes nothing. No risk, no reward, he told himself.

—Sorry if this is inappropriate...— He paused, gathering his courage. —But I like you, and… I was wondering if you’d like to grab a drink sometime?—

The words came out smoothly, almost as if he’d rehearsed them—which, of course, he had, a thousand times over in every corner of his house.

She stared at him in disbelief, taking a second to process what he’d just said. Jeno braced himself for rejection… but to his surprise, it didn’t come.

A shy smile appeared on her face, followed by a soft, breathy sigh.

She nodded.

In that instant, Jeno felt like he had conquered the entire world, as if he were the luckiest man alive. He stood there, stunned, until he realized her lips were moving, though he hadn’t heard her.

—Sorry, I didn’t catch that,— he admitted, embarrassed.

She looked away, blushing, aware that her charming trainer had just asked her out and was now hanging on to her every word.

—I said yes… and I’m free on Friday,— she repeated, her voice soft and velvety, sweeter than anything Jeno had ever heard.

—Great, perfect!— Jeno stammered, feeling his nerves betray him. —Uh… how about six?—

—Six works,— she confirmed, heading toward the door just as the gym emptied out.

—Wait!— Jeno called after her, making her turn back. —Can I get your number?—

—Oh, right. Sorry!— she said, pulling her phone from her gym bag. —I’m not used to being asked out,— she admitted, slightly embarrassed.

Jeno smiled, barely resisting the urge to kiss her right then and there. Who in their right mind wouldn’t ask her out? he thought, fingers trembling as he saved her number.

Of course, he’d be there at six.

Angelique's note: Helloooo! OMG, this is fire 🔥my brain was totally fried by the time I finished writing this, oof. So, this was supposed to be a one-shot, but I kinda got carried away, and now it’s a three-part mini-fic. 😅 Please don’t hate me, I swear I love y’all!

I really hope you enjoy it! As always, likes and follows mean the world. Take care of yourselves and don’t forget to drink water, okay? 💙

Taglist open!

[okkos-ferrum]

gray's return in the show and how it defines gray as a truly morally gray character

i just gotta ramble more abt this scene, with it being one of my favorite scenes in the show. but really i just wanna talk abt how this scene encapsulates gray's ... grayness... of the moral variety

especially since it is done so effectively since, like i mentioned in other posts, our screen time with actual gray and not graham or whatever is limited.

this scene sees the return of gray in the plot, picking up directly where we leave off from all the way back in episode 2

Bye-bye, Black Sheep...

I assume you prefer I continue to call you "Carmen"?

as i stated previously on other posts, because of the silly brainwashing plot, much of graham scenes can be thrown out. in a sense, it's the writers' way to put a big old pause on his character

and these are only one of the two conversations carmen and gray have in current day as themselves -- with no mind wiping or brainwashing (not including flashback cuz the actual issues of the relationship that need to be addressed havent been established yet)

so resuming directly right where we left off with gray trying to kill carmen, we return back to gray trying to kill carmen :D

but this time he did recongize carmen's name, alluding to his change ... even tho he is waving his electric stick around -- mirroring their last encounter in paris

side tangent: something i, additionally, love about this scene is just how it is blunt and honest. much of carmen sandiego's drama/conflict is built of misunderstanding and misdirection and mistrust of the characters. Which while, yes, i am eating up, but unfortuntely can cause many characters relationships to be burdened with a lot of things that can be easily cleared up with a talk. gray for once just bluntly takes a stance.

something that i do like is that in their only two scenes with each other as themselves, carmen (the pilot flashbacks) and gray (this scene) open up so fast with one another. there's never any miscommunication between them during these scenes .... well until vile barges into the conversation....

ANYWAY here we get revealed gray's full perception of himself and his goals very explicitly, especially since his memories and alliances was the biggest question over the viewers' head for most of the show

here gray explains that he believes that he is not a good person, someone incapable of change.

from his perspective, the only way he was able to be a "good" person was when he was brainwashed. and he had just had however long with his chats with maelstrom emphasizing that he has always been a bad person by nature. with the knowledge vile will forever have full control over him -- either as a vile operative or as a mindwiped civillian -- gray essentially accepts his fate as a bad person, because at the very least he is himself.

carmen may have gotten away from vile, but he is told by maelstrom it is due to her being a naturally good person. because his own perception of himself is as somebody who is incapable of good, he will never be able to leave vile now

and carmen is right there in front of him. it was his hesistance that landed him into this debacle, and with maelstrom and bellum both just past the door and carmen alone, gray has every chance to right his wrong.

but he doesnt. because he realizes that the very least he can make the choice of is never hurting carmen. as i stated in other posts, gray's main motive is to be free from any standard that could get in between him and his success. but his want for this freedom ironically got him trapped within following vile's orders. he had been so caught up in following vile that he had lost sight of himself and what he cares about.

so now he explains to carmen his absolute refusal to hurt her again, begging her to give up in stopping vile

selfish and selfless

But I'm begging you, give up trying to stop us, because I don't ever want to be put in a position to hurt you again.

gray's plea to carmen here is so perfectly two-sided

he is acting out selflessly in not allowing his alliances against carmen blind him. i mean that is what he fucked up last time in the train, where it was clear gray wanted to spare carmen - with giving her time to share her side of the story and providing the offer - put unwilling to stand against his mission. like an actual human being, gray acknowledges his mistake and is trying to amend it by stating clearly that he cares abt carmen.

he, in essence, is apologizing for trying to harm carmen by expressing his major regret. moreover, he acknowledges their chat in the pilot, accepting carmen will not return to vile. it stems likely from the ink blot scene earlier, where maelstrom speaks about nature, making a distinction between vile, and by extension, gray's, and carmen's morals. he is finally reconciling that he and carmen will not be on the same side, no matter how much he wants it to be otherwise.

it can also be viewed as a sense of wanting to protect carmen. because he feels so small compared to vile, he barely can ponder how anyone can actually succeed in going against them. i mean they brainwashed him and easily gave and took away his civilian life. in his eyes, carmen staying far from vile is the only way she could be safe

however, viewing it from another perspective shows gray's selfishness in his plea. when he speaks about never wanting to be put in a position to hurt carmen again, he kinda places such a responsibility on carmen, not recongizing he himself is capable of changing that.

Essentially saying "hey quit while you're ahead so you don't gotta make me feel guilty when doing crime" while ignoring that he is making the choice join vile

It kinda stems from his lack of faith in carmen or his own cowardice against vile or a combination of both. What may just be the only way he can protect to protect carmen comes off in his own lack of faith in her ability. as i mentioned earlier, this practically is his own resignation to his fate that vile cannot be fought against. he took his own defeat as the only way to be safe, refusing to believe carmen can successfully fight them.

while he was able to get past the hurdle of accepting carmen changing and no longer standing alongside him, he cant seem to understand his own responsibilty in this.

he's being selfish by demanding a change in carmen's behavior while he continue along with his own desires. While yes, i did just detail the various factors that led to him to such a conclusion, the window was LITERALLY OPEN for him to leave

following carmen blowing up the facility and rejecting gray's demand -- SHE IS SO REAL FOR THAT I LOVE HER SM IN THIS EP -- the wall LITERALLY IS OPEN FOR TO LEAVE CARMEN WITH

Goodbye, Gray

Idk how intentional this is, but the framing shows carmen literally, by her own will, forcing an opening for herself out of vile (both figuratively in the past and literally right now lol) while gray watches on idly, too scared to leave the grasp of vile but just watching on.

and his cowardice is followed through in the finale, with after months of idly watching carmen slip deeper into evil by the brainwashing, he actually takes actions against vile by actively choosing to work with acme, abandoning tigress, and being the one to land the memory recovery thing on her.

it is what makes gray such a stand out character in this show, admist his frustrating back-and-forth and selfishness and sometimes wasted writing. he keeps making a mistake but proceeds to fix it right after. his growth into a better person requires him to make these mistakes, because unlike carmen and most people in the show on the side of good, gray doesn't work on any moral compass. he is not actively evil and wishing to inflict harm and conflict like paper star or vile facilty, nor is he driven by morals such as team red and julia. he is driven by whatever he selfishly cares abt. and from what we see of him both in the pilot and this ep, he makes as many mistakes as he does have slivers of good actions

basically gray is an interesting character cuz he literally fucks up his personal goals, but he makes an earnest attempt to make it better lol

[eyerealm]

What's your process with picking colors for an art piece? :0 your color choice is super unique

Thank you for the compliment and question

That definitely is a hard question, because a lot of things in my art is purely intuitive

I think i tend to try to make things look like theyre "glowing"

(I think i picked this up from splatoon)..

I generally pair duller or darker colors with very bright saturated ones for this sort of effect. I also enjoy things being very rainbowy, and i just pick whichever colors my brain wants me to (I think it works faster than i can comprehend). I know a  lot of things in my art dont make sense, but i want them to not make sense, at least in my more abstract art

But if i were to analyse it, ill try to explain..

Heres my most recent piece...

I was struggling with picking the colors a bit in the earlier stages of this drawing...

I thought of two options, both had some tone curve + effect on the layer with it that i then erased to leave the parts that would be lit up

The layers with her clothes details was higher than the tone curve layer so they stayed clear and bright. I was leaning to the second option but it felt too dull and green for my liking..

I merged most layers and just went with it, adding more sarurated colors

I usually do this, i dont want to keep too many layers seperate because it gets too complicated and it feels like i cant completely express myself. Merging it all/most of it makes it feel more free and i reccomend doing this at least sometimes..

Here you can see a little close up of her face with some explanation... I  i dont really know if this is helpful but still

Heres a little explanation for why i picked the colors for celestia like this

I also often want to show characters in an unusual way color wise. It makes drawing them more interesting. The colors a character is typically associated with doesnt define them, they can be any colors, duller or brighter, different hues etc. Thats what i often think of when i draw, and its fun to play around with. splatoon is a very good thing to draw for me because of this, since they constantly change their ink color..

I do play around with filters and tone curves and stuff a lot sometimes. Selecting specific things in a drawing and only applying filters to them, or to the whole picture, or using blending modes on brushes. It all helps me with getting to the final picture

But it almost always gets merged with the rest of the layers and the picture continues to develop with it all in one

I wish i knew how to properly put it all into words but i myself sometimes dont understand my process, i mostly do things because it just feels right, and everything is subjective, how do i explain what feels right to me, right.. i dont even know if any of this made sense. But well, art doesnt have to make sense

[horizon-verizon]

To all the green/Alicent/Aegon/Aemond/Criston stans choosing to follow me of your own free will, make sure you're making the right choice bc you will see stuff that will likely upset you.

No, I do not think Rhaenyra was a whore or that her sexuality somehow makes or breaks her inherent moral character (this is a patriarchal invention that places more power in men over women's behavior bc as long as they have the political and legal advantage over women [as what has happened in many societies for millennia] it compels women to conform their overall behavior towards not even seeming to resemble the man's/larger developed ideas of "slut" rather than develop herself or have her own fun). And if a man can still be a good leader while having sex outside of marriage, if we truly look at woman as equal and inherently equal to men no matter the time period or place, then we should consider the same when women have sex outside of marriage! Reminder: Aegon SA or rapes; Rhanerya never once did that. which goes into my next point...

No, show!Rhaenyra did not SA or really even pressure Criston into sex. I explain why HERE & below from a past ask-post:

No, her first 3 kids were not bastards. "Bastards" only exist in the legal realm to separate a man/lord's and his family's resources/titles to those who carry his "blood". On principle, you shouldn't be accepting the objectification of women that is necessary to this formula, but aside from that, the meaning of bastardy has been subject ot change ust as many social construction, as we se in the Anstey case ands how William the Conqueror's bastardy was more defined as being that his mother was not noble rather than not married to his father. Because bastardry is more a legal phenomena more than anyting, Viserys--who has the only right and power to name anyone as bastard or legitimize them and thus is the final bulwark against the revelation of the boys being not Laenor's kids--was able to accept Rhaenyra's kids as his heir's heirs. Nobles keep secrets all the time for their own conience. Think about Lysa tully and all those rich people of various TV show and movies who cover up both actual harmful crimes as well as just those that would harm their reputation! This is what happens when you have any elite class AND mid-to-very strict social rules of conduct that you may be breaking anyway. And no, noble/royal wives of history weren't all sexually obedient little cupcakes...many had lovers while married and historically, some were even known by their families and husbands. (Check out Eleanor Herman's book Sex with the Queen).

No, Alicent of either thing didn't have any real reason, material reason to think her kids were in danger from Rhaenyra ascending. You can see why under posts tagged "alicent doesnt have any points" as well as this recent thread]

No I do not see Rhaenyra as uniquely "selfish", "'spoiled", etc. I do not make as if she is unacceptably and uniquely evil or the most amoral. That was overall Andal-FM patriarchy, Aenys I, Maegor I, Jaehaerys I, Viserys, and the greens, esp Alicent & Otto. Rhaenyra, of either the shoe or the book, was both trying to do her duty in her marriage as well as find some happiness AND autonomy alongside that. You were not supposed to readopt feudal patriarchal social "values" or prioritize them/social hierarchies over real human happiness, equity, and social harmony. If you have, you don't get ASoIaF!

For fuck sake, some of you like Jon Snow and think he's Azor Ahai! No, he is not legitimate, bc by the time Rhaegar and his generation was alive, polygamy had lost its validity and for any marriage to Lyanna he could have had needed to be reinforced by either force (Maegor) or public declaration or propaganda & deals careful planning (Doctrine of Exceptionalism) something along those lines...which even if we get the story of Rhaegar and Lyanna, we already know no such preparations occurred!

[ludinusdaleth]

do you think asmodeous is full of crap when he tells braius to listen to the archheart and let predathos free so only he and the betrayers will exist? do you think he wants to die or he has so much hubris he thinks predathos will only go after them and not him?

i saw a post earlier that was like "asmodeus talks big for someone who's going to have a tantrum breakdown an hour after he loses his family" and i generally agree with that lol

what defines asmo for me is even if he doesnt love them well, he is in a way the glue of the gods as a family, and his love is intense enough that he most believes in them one day reuniting more than anyone else in the entire pantheon. i think he thinks if he ran them off, he could have his cake (destroying mortality) and eat it too (humble his family enough they became one again in their fear, as they did before). if he "cleansed" exandria and met them again one day, he could be smug & Right, and yet they would also have a blank slate.

i also have to assume that over 1,000 years he has grown & changed in some ways, just as corellon now thinks chasing the gods off is a good option when they destroyed aeor. im confident hes leading the push to the second calamity option, but he is probably just as exhausted as the others are with this cycle. it's just that where corellon & the matron may see ending their own reign as the solution to the circle, asmodeus has never stopped seeing mortals as the problem. i think even as his opinion of the fate of his brethren may shift, the betrayers always Got that this needed to end far before the primes ever did; it's just about different opinions on how to end it. compound eons of this neverending loop with a chance to finally end it and i think it's going to drive him to act like never before.

[bowletta]

my thoughts on mario and luigi brothership!

(spoiler-free edition!)

(click here for the Major spoilers version)

I will sort my thoughts into 3 categories: the good, the bad, and misc (not necesarily good or bad just in the middle)

The Good:

+ the animation. I didn't think theyd be able to recreate the charm the sprite animation had, but they nailed it.

+ great job translating the 2d sprites to 3d models. This was one of my biggest concerns when the game was revealed, but as much as I miss the sprites... they did a good job. Love how they added the blue accents from sato's early m&l artwork.

+ the cutscenes look so good. Very charming

+ probably the best boss battles in the series. Every one (except the 3rd lighthouse one >: [ ) was the perfect balance of fun and difficulty without dragging on too long.

+ extremely fun combat (jump attacks, hammers)

+ the characters. I really really enjoyed the characters.. I wish they cut a few of them to give others more screentime, but I was surprised how attached I got to them

+ the extension corps. Early on i thought they were just a rehash of the bffs from bowser jr.s journey... but I feel that they executed it 100 times better. I wont spoil, but they have a good arc : )

The Bad:

- I think the #1 problem plaguing brothership is the pacing. It is atrocious. The first 5 hours are so boring. It really drags its feet to get anything interesting happening. The villains arnt introduced until nearly halfway through the game. Why.

What sucks is I feel like if you can get past the first ocean, it starts to get really good! But looking back at all the leakers quitting a few hours in... I cant blame them.

- adding onto this, bros moves and battle plugs. It takes 5 hours to get your first bro move. You are stuck with standard jump and hammer for the entire first ocean. As much as i like performing those moves, it got old fast. You get bros moves so far apart, and several of them are introduced so late I didnt bother trying to learn them.

I wish the battle plugs were introduced sooner as well, I think it wouldve helped make the early combat more interesting.

- game feels way too long and bloated.

- why do you select luigi's actions with 'A' in battle. Why is there no option to change it. I struggled with this and fumbled my attacks literally until the 4th ocean. Why.

- frame rate issues. Upon booting the game I thought 'oh this is rough'. But then I got used to it. But as you progress, and more people join your ship, it gets bad. By the end, shipshape island is a choppy powerpoint presentation. I could hear my switch's fan struggling from my couch lol.

- weakest soundtrack in the series. Its not even close. Theres like 5 tracks I like, but that doesnt make up for the other 40+ being so unremarkable, esp when its one of the franchise's highlights.

- timing when counterattacking enemies is wildly inconsistent. With some, the timing feels too generous (the flying flower enemies) and other times it feels frame perfect (lakitu)

Misc:

> Theres so many instances where I cant tell if its supposed to be a homage to older games or just copy pasted from them. Theres a character introduced very late who is very similar to another late game m&l character. The extension corps and the bffs. Etc.

> the timeline is kind of confusing... Like how long ago did concordia break up? How long did it take connie to grow the tree on shipshape? Like did this take place months ago or decades ago??

>them reusing peach and bowser voice clips from 15 years ago (bis) was very funny

final thoughts:

id give brothership like... a 7.5-8/10. Is it the new best mario rpg? Absolutely not lol. It has some serious issues but... I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I think it couldve used a few more years in the oven, but overall, it was cute. Definently a contender for the new generation's super paper mario.

1. superstar saga

2. bowser's inside story

3. brothership

4. partners in time/dream team

5. paper jam

[calfrxca]

[JUDGEMENT]

no way, cal returns from his art hiatus to post gay people and returns from hiatus for good :00 ??? no- im. im still on hiatus, my escapades to vatican city and specifically st peter's basillica last month just caused some brainworms LMFAO, i have. way too much to say about this specific piece and how my reading of the illiad and the war that killed achilles made it so much stronger

also before you ask, yes this is based on michelangelo's pietà in the vatican, dont even TRY to @ me

my yappings aside

ordo (the guy with the fuckass pipe in his chest) belongs to @gemsbokk !!!

meanings and yappings regarding this piece below the cut as usual, i dont expect anyone to read this, i just need to get this out or i'll actually EXPLODE

(upright) improvement, forgiveness, change of perspectives, absolution and rebirth

(reversed) oppression, lack of self awareness, failure, repeated mistakes, and self loathing

generally, in roman mythos as a whole, there's this whole idea that cannibalism, incest, murder, whatever, doesnt apply to the olympians because of their status as "The Divine" and any mortal who tries to do the same will be met with divine punishment from said olympians [many times, a mortal's fatal flaw is hubris, see achilles who believed he was immortal and a god because of how successful he was on the battlefield; icarus who flew too close to the sun and died, a literal modern day saying in the west for man's own hubris, etc] and if i remember correctly, some renditions of the illiad depict the myceaneans as cannibals. the war that killed achilles specifically writes:

"In the apocryphal Acts of Andres (dating to the 3rd century A.D.), there is 'a city of the cannibals,' which is identified as Myrmidon; it is possible that this account taps into some more ancient, and savage, lost tradition."

and my recent escapades to the roman colosseum revealed that the romans regularly consumed blood because they believed it had health benefits to it and they thought it cured epilepsy [paper written by the NBCI on this topic]; is there any historical basis proving that the consumption of blood actually had health benefits? no clue, nor do i really feel like checking these exact logistics at the moment (but if anyone does, feel free to @ me about it, i love weird historical shit like this), the actual effects behind it are moot, what's relevant here is the idea

the idea of consumption and cannibalism turning one into a god have the same effects as how, in greek mythos, the gods were often depicted engaging in acts such as incest, cannibalism, whatever, acts that we as mortals define as "immoral" and "unjust," not only just to seperate them from humans but also show that morals are a very fickle, human thing

anyways, my point here is there's something so raw about tacet losing it to the point he's not even just eating mechanical parts, but he's also eating organic parts, see: organic hearts, guts, kidneys, the like

"No matter how many men you eat boy, you will not be a god."

i mean tacet himself masks his desperation for touch and sensuality with literal blood and guts, which then creates a feedback loop of violence and death, which is a reoccurring theme in greek tragedies; specifically observed and mentioned in emily wilson's translation of the illiad:

"When a man is slain in times of peace, families can gain partial compensation for their loss by exacting a blood-price from the killer. Killers may also be forced to leave the community and take refuge elsewhere, as Patroclus did as a boy after he accidentally killed another boy in an argument over a game; he was adopted by his cousin Peleus and raised beside Achilles, like an older brother. In such cases, the killer's loss of his original home comforts the family in their need for vengeance. But in war, killers recognize no binding obligation to compensate the families of their victims. The only way the bereaved can recoup their losses is to kill the killer—whose comrades will demand vengeance in their turn. Killing begets killing, death begets death, and every loss of life generates further loss of life."

another instance is observed in the emily wilson translation here:

"When it is too late to save a warrior's life, friends and kinsmen may be able at least to save his weapons and his armor. If those have been stripped, the companions of the dead man may at least save his body."

there's a certain trope found in media, especially queer media where cannibalism and consumption are a common metaphor for love (see hannibal and interview with a vampire), and considering their dynamic was written in the midst of a hannibal brainrot im not exactly surprised there's a lot of similarities here

namely, tacet was a cannibalism from the start, starting drinking energon just as a more cost and time efficient way to staying fueled, but it turned into an addiction and eventually was lauded as something holy (there's something to be said here about the christian idea of wine and crackers being symbols of christ's blood and body; communion, the eucharist, whatever); i cant remember if this was canon or not so don't quote me on this

but at some point, tacet convinced ordo to try cannibalism as well, just to "see what would happen," went well enough until ordo got the fuckass pipe in his chest; something something play on the idea of cannibalism is only reserved for the divine; ordo died and tacet lost ordo

queer tragedy is very much a phenomenon found in greek and roman mythos, and well. this feels like it fits

alright im done yapping for now, my head hurts now, thanks for listening to my ted talk

here's some pics from rome and venice as a thanks LMFAO

i'll add image IDs to these once my headache goes away I PROMISE

[gladosluver]

! FAKE BLOOD/DEATH WARNING !

sato death recreation irl by yours truly

guess who convinced their only 2 irls to be tsmc trio (we had a hajime but they moved out of the prefecture and told nobody)

despite doing adobe stuff for years now, and literally being adobe certified, i specialize in vector graphics. i rarely ever edit real photos, so this was really difficult and tbh doesnt really look that nice BUT i tried and slayed and thats all that matters

alt stuff v

we had about 3 minutes to get these pictures so theyre not thattt accurate. right when this photo was taken 5 administrators walked by but since we were in the art hallway i guess they thought we were taking reference photos or something

i always found the concept of games blurring/censoring gore and death WAYYY more disturbing than just showing the actual thing, especially when layered over the face. the absence of something so distinct and defining. the presence of a simple jarring black box where there should be someone you once knew. you know whats supposed to be there, but it just. isnt. it makes you feel like you werent supposed to see it

anyways heres some adventures from the day

i had to create a Little Guy in another artists style so i quickly made this mizuiyama chibi and clicked one button and. this happened. i cant recreate this no matter how hard i try. it took up the ENTIRE DAMN PASTEBOARD and made my computer lag

when taking the photos me and 'mahiru' (not using their real name for privacy) went out into the hallway and i tried to say "lets do a photoshoot" and "take photos of me" at the same time. but instead i looked them dead in the eyes and said "shoot me."

dont tell 'natsumi' this but the original plan was yui/licorne/kyoko but she started singing the usa national anthem for some fucking reason and i changed it up at the last second because i wanted an excuse to beat her on her big head.... someone brought a giant bento box in a very conveniently-swingable bag and when i tell you that shit was CALLING to me like the green goblin mask..

theres some event going on where students were supposed to be characters and one of our classmates was a teletubby and since we were some of the only people dressed up for the occasion it looked a bit like this

no joke when i walked in NOBODY was being cool then suddenly i saw TWO PEOPLE COSPLAYING PIECES OF TOAST. JUST. GIANT BROWN SQUARES. RUNNING DOWN THE HALLWAY. GIGGLING. a few other people in the design program were dressed as stitch and someone came up to them and said "i used to be scared of you little shits"

even tho this is "cringe" or whatever 1) we all die in the end so be free 2) i only get to see them for a few hours a week so we had to embrace this. also i was stranded at the school for over half an hour after this in the freezing cold whoopsies. i did have a little scare when a police car pulled up and i thought they got my ass for something i didnt even know i did

[puppygirlmaki]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

About myself v2!

------------------ Previously was Cute SleepyThighs -------------------

Changed the handle cause my girlfriends made me into a puppygirl x.x, and its a nice cozy feeling

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello everyone!

My name is Mackenzie, but you can call me Maki or Kenzie for short!

I am very lesbian for my two wives @infinite-puppy and @hypnosapphicslut and love them to death!

24 years old

Trans MTF

she/her/puppy

if you're gonna interface me as a puppygirl call me Maki! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am plural, but we're working on defining it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Likes:

Video games (I play alot of games from fps to strategy games, rpg's to party games, i enjoy seeing creativity and new things!)

Anime (I have a couple of trash isekai likes, but i enjoy a good story . Ask me about the most recent one I'm watching, K!

Movies

Pets! (i love cute cuddly friendly things! its easy to see the goofy in most pets once you get past the predator stuff! snakes are honestly cool and so are spiders, but if i was to have one it'd be cats ironically)

Horror! ( I enjoy thinking and ruminating about the themes and different elements of what makes something scary!)

Cooking! (I cook as a hobby!)

Music (mainly rock/metal and some video game soundtracks, its a mixed bag and usually a song by song basis)

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DNI stuff!

Chasers/terfs DNI - I wont be nice and honestly dont have the capacity to put up with your bullshit respectfully

Minors: DNI-ish - This blog is a NSFW one, and I dont wanna be responsible for exposing you to such stuff, sorry its the big sister in me, I still am down to chat about non nsfw stuff and general life experiences but I will not/try my best to shield you from my nsfw side.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kinks/Likes! (as many as i can remember!)

Dom/Sub, CNC, Petplay, Praise, degradation, Hypno, Romance, Free use, Humiliation and Light pain play.

Dislikes: (wont interact with it, just doesnt interest me)

Snuff, torture, cheating, beatings, human furniture, incest(?*)

*(that one older sister thing tgirls do is ok to me. its my blog i can have my biases and don't have to be morally pure or explain myself.)

Hard no's: (Wont interact with nor like to see)

Scat, incest, age play, Necrophillia, kidnapping, cross dressing.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm also unpinning the old about me post and adding this on in its place, not deleting it cause i think its nice history for me that i dont wanna delete.

Have a good day!

~ Puppygirl Maki~

[creamiceandsugar]

i talked previously on how i just love thinking about the paths characters are and what it means about their character or story and nothing makes it more obvious than going "of course, what else but erudition" at jade, realizing I forgot to even register what path firefly is but going "uuuh, destruction. what else could she be" and just checking for confirmation.

so i guess i'll loosely define what personality traits i personally think each path represents (very very loosely bc it really does depend on the character and there's a wide spectrum for interpretation. i'll put some examples). and right away i'll tell you i do not have harmony figured out. it's the hardest path. like, i'll try, but i am not confident.

also i'll say this, none of these "personality traits" are inherently good or bad. like for erudition i used the word "manipulator" bc i have no other word i can put down but i dont meant it in a bad way. jing yuan manipulates people all the time but it's generally for the greater good.

destruction: pretty literal. linked to destructive behavior (hook) or destruction of others and/or the self (blade/firefly). dan heng IL is so neat because technically he is so non-confrontational and doesn't Want to be destructive but it's his past self that carries it over. like, he can't escape it, it still haunts him and that is why his true path is destruction. delicious, right? also destruction of bonds (unwillingness to reconnect with jing yuan etc.) clara is the hardest to interpret but if you got a big robot with you that fires lasers then idk what to tell you

erudition: chess players, manipulators, "genius/smart". do i need examples? it's so self explanatory. easiest path to interpret for real. i think argenti is the weirdest one to be erudition, but we also dont know much about him yet and i think he's plenty smart and manipulative just. in a very eccentric way?

hunt: "has a goal to follow" in the simplest terms. very narrowed in on that goal. stubborn. (yanqing wants to get stronger, dan heng wants to be free/escape his past etc. etc.)

nihility: disconnected from people or the world around them. (in different ways. welt is from a different dimension and guinaifen works mainly online but both disconnects them from the people around them. which doesnt mean they cant form bonds or care about people)

preservation: very simple and obvious but a protector type. "by the book" (doesn't cheat). upfront. (you'd think aventurine would be the outlier but i maintain that he's more honest than people expect him to be and he hates cheating. so he plays by the rules even if he bends them and he HAS a protective instinct. i personally actually think march is the outlier here who's a bit hard to pin down but what can you expect from a girl who doesnt even really know herself)

abundance: researcher type. fascinated with humanity in one way or another. (so so hard to pin them down but i think this fits broadly, at least for now, even for gallagher. may change the more abundance characters we get. dont mention huo huo, Please, she's like a harmony/abundance hybrid anyways. and she IS fascinated with humanity ok, fascinated how confident her coworkers are anyways)

harmony: bro please, idk. look at the characters we have and tell me what they have in common. i'm dying i'm in the desert and i have no water. i WOULD have said administrators/bureaucrats who are willing to take on responsibility but then sparkle happened so i don't know anymore. also she's playing a character so what do we REALLY know about her. how about "puts their all into things". "commits"(to the bit). that feels vaguely right.

so anyways this is what i have so far. i've thought more about some than others, obviously, i have my favorite characters, but i think this can at least for now broadly apply.

[multi-lefaiye]

Two things for storyteller saturday. 1) feel free to extrapolate as much as ud like one eden and gold colour/symbolism cuz i eat that shit up. 2) anything on the road trip or even storm chasers or The Building stories ud like to share bc those are intriguing to me :3c 3) wait one more eden question. whats he like at parties? i get the feeling he doesnt go to them if he has the choice, but if made to go he might find a way to have fun

HELLO i am responding to this in the most timely manner yes. it's sunday now but that's okay. /silly

THANK YOU FOR FEEDING MEEEE.... fellow color symbolism enjoyer. you understand me. so, yeah, for the uninitiated, gold is the color i associate with my boy eden the most. it's The Eden Color. there's a few different reasons for that, but mostly it comes down to me associating the color yellow with pride, which is eden's sin, both his greatest flaw and in many ways a defining character trait. my dm and i have been planning for eden's design to change over the course of the campaign to slowly and slowly incorporate more and more gold to parallel him coming closer and closer to self-actualizing, to living his truest self and making peace with himself. (side-note, they also told me recently that i've forgotten a part of his design that's already changed! the nails on his right hand are permanently gold. i love it)

TEEHEE okay you're getting a three-for-one because i wanna talk a bit more about each of these. - i haven't developed the post-apocalyptic road trip wip in a hot minute, but one part that's still near and dear to my heart is gaia's character arc and what it represents. i'm a big fan of characters who've done horrible shit and have to contend with that and make the choice to be better. gaia, without going too deep into spoilers, is in large part the reason the apocalypse is on its way. and, yes, they regret this very deeply! and much of it wasn't their choice! but they have blood on their hands and it's up to them to decide to fix this. (side-note, gaia having blood magic is meant to be literal symbolism for the blood on their hands. idc if this is too on the nose, i'm having fun.) - a modern ghost story (my storm chasing beloveds) is kinda both on the backburner and not lately, because i've been developing it more and more in bits and pieces in my brain. but one part i'm excited about is roach's character arc as represented by their weight. roach is probably my biggest example of showing a character's positive growth through them gaining weight. they start the story with a host of severe body dysmorphia that parallels other self image issues they've lived with for years, and over the course of the story as they accept themself and take steps towards *healing*, they gain weight. and it's scary at first, but it's a sign of good things coming for them. - and my beloved storage facility horror wip... so i imagine it's not a surprise that a lot of the characters and plot threads in that wip are based on things i've either dealt with or heard about happening at work, usually taken to some kind of logical extreme. but one example i don't think i've talked about publicly is this character named lynette, the previous manager who worked at the facility and disappeared under mysterious circumstances. she's partly there to establish more of a mystery at the start and a *reason* for people to be afraid of the sentient building, but she's also highkey inspired by the fact that i keep getting blamed for mistakes made by people who haven't worked here in YEARS lmao. so yes this is stress relief, kinda.

ALSO EDEN AND PARTIES... i'm so glad you asked because i do in fact have an answer! and it's a no, generally. he's not opposed to them and often *does* have fun on the rare occasions he goes to them, but for the most part he sees them as kinda beneath him. (at least, that's what he says.) i actually wrote a quick outline a while ago for a short story about the one (1) party eden went to while he was studying at university... tl;dr it ended poorly and eden decided that he's never doing that again, after a shitty encounter with one of his classmates. as for what he's LIKE at parties, eden's good at being very sociable and chatty, and he likes talking to people and being the center of attention. but he's not the "life of the party" by any means, and he prefers not to drink most of the time. he has an image to maintain, after all.

[blonde-tori-spring555]

sexuality advice

something that helped me was trying not to define my attraction. at first, what that looked like it just saying, “okay. im bi.” as if i had always been bi. then i started looking at my attraction as if i had always been bi. if i had always been bi, would i have said i had a crush on this girl? if bring bi was the norm, would i think i were attracted to her?

later down the road, it was saying i was unlabelled. it took me a while to get there because i spent so much time thinking about my sexuality, but when i did it was extremely freeing. i could just say that i liked everyone in a different way and not worry about gender.

so i guess what im saying here, is try out the aueer labels. maybe not to your friends, maybe just to yourself, but try them out and see if they make sense. after all, youve been trying out straight for a long time.

also, stupid thing but something that helped me A LOT: make a self insert character. what is your immediate impulse to give them for sexuality?

you can say youre straight and like women. you can say youre bi and mainly be attracted to men. you can say youre queer and not put a label on it. you could look for microlabels that fit. but realistically, its up to you to decide what you want to call it.

and, just for the record? straight people usually don’t question that much. not saying you are bi, but your feelings are valid.

sorry if this was too much but this is what helped me, i dont know if it will help you personally

if you want to talk more about it though im always here <333

tysm x

the bs thing is i was kinda hinting to my mum like we were talking about heartstopper (she knows i like the show and books and STRAIGHT PEOPLE CAN LIKE IT, thats what heartstopper is about, being inclusive) anyway my mum isnt homophobic she just doesnt rlly get it anyway she says like "people cant know what they rlly r until theyre like 18+" so i ranted to her about how anyone could change at anytime and my lil hint was "im straight now but in a few years time i might realise im bi" and that shut her up

but i might give this a go, it just scared me idk why, like its not like i look at girls a go, ooo i would date her, but i look at boys like, oo i would date him, so i think if lets say i am bi, i would def be more attracted to men, but like sometime my stupid little brain says 'ur just saying it because its 'easier" or 'u dont mean it, ur just saying it for attention' like i just hate it, like ive not rlly had a 'awakening' but like sometimes bi sounds right while other times straight does

but i might do what u say and try our 'being bi' for a bit and see how i feel

it sounds weird but i feel like i need to have this awakening and like i need to see a girl and think ooo i have a crush, like i do with boys

idk its weird

and ik what u mean by straight people dont question it that much, and ik what ur saying because that fact scares me to mf shits, but tbh i only think about it when that area of things r brought into my head yk?

anyway sorry for ranting