#but terms and conditions apply
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Mishima Skywalk and the zip line with a view of Mount Fuji
I jokingly suggested a zip line over the Rhine in the tags of a previous post, but here's one that does exist: two zip lines, 300 and 260 metres in length, over a valley in the slopes on Mount Hakone.
It's one of the many fun activities on offer at Mishima Skywalk, along with segway tours, tree adventures... But first, one must cross the 400-metre suspension bridge, which is already not for the faintest of hearts...
The kicker is the view of Mount Fuji. On a good day, of course, the usual terms and conditions apply, and I had been unlucky previously when it came to seeing it. This seemed a better day than most, but not quite there...
Until I embarked on the return zip line. I turned around on the way up and saw Fuji-san as clear as can be. I didn't take my camera on the zip lines for fairly obvious safety reasons (and I should mention that my friend Megumi who kindly drove me to the Skywalk that day took the top picture), so what could I do but enjoy the breathtaking sight while gliding back to the start slope!
The clouds allowed this clear enough shot after crossing the bridge back to the entrance. Again: this view from a zip line. Not just a highlight of the trip, probably a lifetime highlight!
#Japan#Shizuoka-ken#Mishima#Mishima Skywalk#suspension bridge#zip line#Mount Fuji#I feel like the phrase “you can see Mount Fuji from here” is a bit of a meme in Kantô area#like it applies to so many places#but terms and conditions apply#it has to be a more or less EXCEPTIONALLY good day to see Mount Fuji depending on where you are#anyway great place#*has a nostalgic look at the safety gloves kept preciously*#静岡県#三島#三島スカイウォーク#富士山#吊橋#ジップライン#2023-08
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thinking about this post but also it's more than that. do you ever think about how stories starring men are allowed to be about humanity but stories starring women have to be about Womanhood
#it's just the same discourse from like the 2010s about how girls will read about boys but boys won't read about girls#and we haven't gotten anywhere#even when it's like in a feminist way!!! there's room for stories about Womanhood obviously#but believe it or not ''women'' is not the only significant trait or experience that that half of the population has#and frankly I think it's counterproductive to focus every woman-centric narrative on the Woman aspect in some kind of feminism way#especially I feel like in adaptations that get a more hashtag feminism focus! like that story was about a person that was a woman#and you made it into a story about Women. which. ok#but was it not enough for her to just be a human being#experiencing human experiences that perhaps men could relate to#but a story with a male main character is allowed to exist on its own terms#no one's like. okay the main theme of this is obviously something to do with masculinity#(unless that's actually true)#a man is still the default character to explore your ideas and adding the ''girl'' trait is seen as like this extra distortion#that you would add only if you wanted to explore Womenness#like everyone's putting a guy in situations but hey maybe your guy could be a woman#even if the specific situation doesn't call for it#did you ever think of that?#and a lot of it I think is because men are conditioned not to relate to female characters#so making a male character would work to expand your audience because female readers are still willing to invest in him but not vice versa#but that doesn't mean we should just keep perpetuating the cycle#and only making stories about women specifically for women about Womanhood#that's just cementing the problem even further#obviously this is all a generalization and there are exceptions#this also applies to things like race#like in the US if you're making a story with a nonwhite main character suddenly it has to be like About Race or something
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is aziraphale queer-ish because hes in soho or is soho gay because aziraphale’s there
#aeth talks#good omens#i say queer-ish bc hes not human and therefore human terms don’t apply yk the drill guys#good omens aziraphale#gomens#aziraphale#azicrow#air conditioning#ineffable husbands#ineffable spouses#ineffable wives
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Daily Idiot 11/12 - Now 50% More Idiot For The Same Price!
Bonus 2: Melkor as presented by Sauron to Numenorians, Web 2.0 edition.
Rating: 10i/10 Would be cool if wasn't fake :P
Drawing: 10/10. I love it. Has some mistakes probably, and isn't planned too well, but I love the concept and how it turned out. I'm especially proud of the button.
#melkor#morgoth#i can't draw#tolkien legendarium#silmarillion#silm#the silm#the silmarillion#daily idiot1#* terms and conditions may apply#the 50% more is idk Sauron or something?#or just false advertising
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Terms & Conditions Apply - Chapter One
Summary: A "Fifty Shades of Grey" type of take on Oberyn Martell. After he buys tech firm Logistica for its assets, the wealthy, powerful and brilliant Oscar Martin takes interest in Cara Kavanaugh, the programmer whose code he wants to use. Although she feels physical attraction to to Oscar, his reputation for being a playboy, a womanizer, and a bit of a snake prevent her from forming any attachment to her new boss. Despite his flirtations, she resists him for months until one night the tension and chemistry between them boils over and the two find themselves unable to keep their hands off each other. Trying not to fall for him, Cara discovers Oscar has more dark things looming in his past, including a dangerous rivalry with fellow tech magnate, Tyson LaGrieve; a wife that died under strange circumstances, and other secrets Cara can't imagine.
Notes: This reimagines Oberyn in a realworld setting, as a powerful tech mogul. When I started writing this, I wanted to explore the dom/sub and BDSM aspects of 50 shades but I chickened out, so it's really just a spicy romance with very light dom/sub under tones. The FMC is autistic coded.
Pairing: Oberyn Martell x OFMC
Warnings: Extreme dipictions of violence, sex and sexual activities, alcohol use, and discussions of violence, sexual violence, murder, etc. Please read responsibly.
Chapter One: The Prince and The Programmer
Oscar Martin . The world knew the name. He was synonymous with innovation and technology, but he was just as synonymous with words like affair and scandal. And he was standing less than 20 feet from me. I watched as he moved through the office. His company, MarTech, had just purchased the company I worked for, Logistica. The news had broken a few days before, but now it was official. Logistica was a small analytics and algorithm development firm that had some piece of tech or information he wanted. That was how he did business; he wanted something, he bought it. The tech and financial papers called him the Prince of Tech , due to his youth and good looks, but he had a reputation for being a viper in the boardroom… and in the bedroom, if the tabloids were to be believed.
He was handsome; tall and slender, about 38 or so, with dark hair, and a neatly trimmed beard and mustache. He moved through the office gracefully, looking around at everything with curious brown eyes. Those eyes swept over my team in our cubicles, barely registering us as people. To the likes of him, I suppose we weren’t. We were peasants. Cogs in the machine. Not worth bothering with.
But then he paused, and his gaze settled on me.
I looked away, embarrassed. But when I looked back, he was smiling at me. It was a small smile of amusement, but it was definitely there. He gave me a small wink, so tiny and fast I wasn’t sure if I saw it at all.
Then he turned and followed the group into the conference room. My face felt hot, and I realized I was probably blushing.
“Cara, are you okay?” Lisa Sonnet, my cubemate and colleague asked as she returned from the bathroom.
“Yeah, just feeling a little warm all of the sudden.” I said softly. Lisa glanced through the glass wall into the conference room at Oscar Martin.
“I can see why, that man is… Oof .” She said, sitting back down next to me. “Too bad he only dates super duper models.”
“Super duper models?”
“Like, only the most famous models,” she said. “Your Stephanie Allisons and your Nadias and your Tula Faracosis.” She went on, sitting down. “The best of the best, with perfectly symmetrical little faces, and tiny perky boobies.” She continued, gesturing to her own pendulous breasts. Lisa was in her late 50s and had four kids. She frequently bemoaned that she used to have a much better body, but her kids had sucked it out of her.
I said nothing. I couldn’t imagine wanting to be involved with a man who was just as frequently on TMZ as he was on CNN. It sounded exhausting.
“I heard he only dates women until they are 23 and then he dumps them.” Another team member, Jackie Woller said. She must have overhead us. She rolled her chair to the edge of her cube and peeked around the corner at us. “At the stroke of midnight on your 23rd birthday, he kicks you out of bed unceremoniously.” she said in a mock ominous, slightly spooky voice.
“That’s Leonardo DiCaprio.” I said, feeling myself smile a little bit. I glanced back at the conference room. Was it my imagination, or was Oscar Martin looking at me? I ducked my head, counted to 10, and then looked up again.
He was definitely looking at me. He was leaning back in the chair in the conference room, not paying attention to whomever was speaking. One of the lawyers, I thought absently. Our eyes met. He smiled again, and this time, he lifted his fingers in a slight wave.
“Hi,” He mouthed.
I ducked down behind the wall of the cubicle.
“What’s wrong?” Lisa said, hearing the ruckus. Then she looked up. “Oh.”
“What?”
“Oscar Martin is looking over there,” she said. “He’s… kinda laughing to himself?” She said slowly.
“He waved at me.” I said. “I’m mortified.”
“We should all stop staring and get back to work before he fires us.” Jackie muttered. “Though, he’ll probably do that anyway. Gut the firm, get whatever tech we have that he wants, and then leave us all on the street.”
I turned back to my laptop; my code was still compiling, so there wasn’t much for me to do. I pretended to be working diligently for the next 45 minutes, and resisted the urge to look up. However, when I eventually heard the door to the conference room open, I couldn;’t help myself.
They filed out of the conference room, Oscar Martin shaking hands with lawyers and my boss following behind, looking rather pale. I looked away again, chewing nervously on my bottom lip. I wondered if my boss had already been canned. How long for the rest of us?
“Hello,” A quiet voice said. I recognized it, the light hispanic accent wrapping around the word like silk. I looked up to see Oscar Martin leaning on the wall of my cubicle looking down at me. “Oscar Martin.” He extended his hand. After a beat, I shook it, but I still didn’t speak. “And your name is…?” He prompted me.
“Cara Kavanaugh.” I said quietly.
“Cara.” He said. He smiled, a strange look on his face. Something between surprise and satisfaction.. “It’s nice to meet you, Cara.” He turned back to the others who were waiting for him. “One second.” He said. The lawyers nodded. “I hope I see you around.” Then he left.
“Did that just happen?” Lisa said, her eyes wide.
“I think it did.” I said.
“Wow,” Jackie said from her cubicle.
“I caught a whiff of his cologne, ugh, he smells so good.” Lisa moaned. “Why do you think he was looking at you ? You’re pretty, but you’re no Tula Faracosi.”
I waved her away dismissively, and looked up again as Oscar Martin headed towards the main entrance of the office. He gave me another look over his shoulder as he went.
What on earth was going on?
After work, I headed to my apartment, idly wondering if I should brush up my resume. I’d worked at Logistica for about 6 years, starting there right after college. I’d had several positions within the company before becoming the lead project programmer last year. I didn’t relish the idea of a job search… and while there were no shortage of programming jobs in the world, I had liked working for Logistica.
I opened my laptop, but instead of pulling up my resume, I googled Oscar Martin instead. His wikipedia page was the first result not from a tabloid.
I read the details about him. He was 6’1”, Argentinian, spoke Spanish, English, Portuguese, and French, and he had been married once, when he was young. His wife had died at age 22. I didn’t possess the Google Sleuthing Skills some of my friends had, so I couldn’t find much else about her. Cause of death was “unspecified cancer.” That was tragic. He had been 24 at the time. I read about the success of his company, MarTech, and the various companies it had absorbed over the years. I read about the famous women he was linked to, believed to have dated, rumored to have left broken-hearted. Taylor Swift’s latest album allegedly had a song or two about him on it. Models, Singers, Actresses all, with beautiful faces and glamorous lives.
And he had smiled at me. I didn’t think myself unattractive; I have a pretty face, with pale skin, bright blue eyes, and a nice smile. My hair was actually freshly minted at the salon, and my caramel colored waves were top notch, but I wasn’t a model. I wasn’t glamorous. I was a programmer who wrote code. I went to bed at 10:30 after watching reruns of Friends . I had been wearing a men’s graphic t-shirt that said “Tell Your Dog I Said Hi” on it, for crying out loud.
I made myself dinner - microwaved veggies, minute rice and costco rotisserie chicken, very glamorous- I thought as I sat down to eat, then I watched TV for a while. Around 7pm, I called my best friend Keith.
“You’ll never guess who I met today.”
“The pope?”
“I don’t think you could be more wrong.”
“Donald Trump?”
“Closer,” I laughed. “Oscar Martin.”
“Wow,” He said. And then “Oh no,”
“Yeah, so if you know of any outfits looking for a programmer…” I said.
“I’ll keep an ear out. So it’s official?”
“He signed the paperwork for the company today. I suppose it’ll be a few days before we get marching orders.” I said. Then I changed the subject. “How’s Carolina?”
“Doing okay, postpartum has been rough on her.” He admitted.
“Can I do anything?”
“Maybe swing by and see her at the shop. I think she’d like that.”
“I’ll come by after work one day this week. But let’s let her think it's a surprise.”
“Deal.” We talked for a bit longer, discussing his infant son and his work, before I finally said good night.
“Thanks for asking about Carolina. I know you and her-”
“Hey, water under the bridge.” I said quickly. “Have a good night.”
“You too.”
I went to bed that night wondering if my badge would work on the front door of the building in the morning.
The next morning, I arrived at the office and my badge worked. I was getting into the elevator when I heard someone call “Hold the door!”
I put my hand in front of the door to prevent it from closing, and a breathless Oscar Martin slipped in beside me.
“Good morning Cara.”
“Uh, Good morning.” I returned, trying to disguise the fact that my breath had caught in my throat. I studied him out of the corner of my eye. He certainly dressed like a tech guy; jeans, sneakers, and a yellow, blue and green plaid button down.
“Have you worked for Logistica long?” he asked as the elevator crept up to the 25th floor. His accent was so smooth, giving his voice a musical quality.
“Six years,” I said quietly. I felt so awkward making small talk with him. I felt like Ann Boelyn making cheerful conversation with the man holding the sword.
“That’s a long time in this industry.” He commented. “Do you like it here?”
“Yeah, I do, a lot.” I said honestly. He nodded. Mercifully, the elevator came to a stop and the doors opened to my floor. I stepped out. He followed me to my desk.
“I hope I see you later, Cara.” He said, and he headed to the conference room, where it looked like a meeting had already started.
“Did you really just walk in with Oscar Martin?” Lisa asked as I put my things down. I sat heavily in my chair.
“Yes, why?”
“You rode in the elevator with him?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“Ballsy.”
“I was already in the elevator.” I shrugged.
“He’s looking over here again.” Jackie called in a low voice from her cube.
“This is ridiculous.” I muttered. “You two are being ridiculous.” I grabbed my laptop. “I’m going to go work in one of the empty offices.”
Shortly before lunch time, an email went out that there would be a catered lunch for staff, compliments of the new owners. I rolled my eyes, but I wasn’t too proud to turn down a free meal, so at 12, I headed down to the breakroom.
It was a feast. Kabobs of shrimp, Chicken, and tender steak, exotic salads, grilled vegetables, rice pilaf and more. The junior programmers had loaded down their plates and were scurrying back to their cubes, but some of the upper management were schmoozing with Oscar as he stood in the breakroom, a plate in his hand, but not eating.
I helped myself to some food and while I was grabbing a plastic fork, Oscar excused himself from the ass kissers and came alongside me.
“How’s your day going?” He asked, his accent wrapping around the words in an almost sultry way. It would seem there was no such thing as a free lunch. I was going to have to pay for it by being polite to my executioner.
“Fine, thanks. And thanks for lunch.” I said, holding up my plate. I started towards the door but he fell into step beside me.
“So you’re a programmer.” He said. It wasn’t a question, but he didn’t elaborate.
“Yeah,” I said.
“And you worked on the Omega project.”
“I wrote the code for it, yes.”
“I was very impressed with it.” He said. “That’s actually why I wanted to buy Logistica.”
“My code?”
“Well, your code, and the program it powers.” He said. “Would you ever consider coming to work directly for me?”
I blinked at him.
“What?” He asked, perplexed.
“I do work for you, you own the company I work for.”
“Yes, but I have a need for a programmer outside of what I plan to do with Logistica.”
“What do you plan to do with Logistica?” I asked sharply. Careful, Cara . I chastised myself. Fortunately, he looked amused.
“I haven’t decided yet, but I intend to use your code for a project I’m working on.” I wanted to ask him if it was for his weapons division, but bit my tongue.
“I get the sense you don’t like me much.” He went on, still following me toward the office where I had set myself up to work for the day.
“I just don’t know you.” He was right, I didn’t like him, but hopefully this lie would help me keep my job.
“Well, my offer stands; your work speaks for itself, you’re clearly brilliant.” He said. “Think about it.”
“Thank you.” I said, unsure of what else to say. He gave me a perfunctory nod, and then disappeared, presumably back to the conference room. After lunch, I was pretty full, and the empty office was starting to feel a little too warm. I headed back to my cube so that I wouldn’t fall asleep. I didn’t have much to work on but I didn’t think this was a good time to be seen sleeping in an office somewhere, even if the new boss had just offered me a job.
“Get lonely?” Lisa asked when I sat back down.
“Hot.” I muttered.
“The rumor mill is flying.” Lisa said. “Three people asked if you got let go.”
“Why?”
“You weren’t at your desk.”
“Jesus.” I muttered, opening my laptop and trying to find something to do to look productive. The conference room was empty.
“Cara?” My boss, Kevin McCormick, came up to the edge of my cubicle. “Can you come with me please?”
“Should I bring my purse?” I asked.
“Just come with me please.” Kevin said.
I cast a look back at Lisa. Her eyes were wide.
I followed Kevin to his office. A man I didn’t recognize was there. At least it wasn’t Betty from Human Resources.
“Hello Ms. Kavanaugh,” the unfamiliar man said. He was probably 50, with thinning dark hair, and broad shoulders. He wore a suit. “My name is Benton Reavis. I am the inside counsel for MarTech, and Mr. Martin would like to extend you a rather lucrative employment option.” He slid a manilla folder across the table to me. I opened it.
“The salary is listed on the first page. The additional benefits are listed on the second. We are proud to offer you full medical, dental, and vision, plus 12 weeks paid vacation,” He went on, but I wasn’t listening.
$450,000.
“There has to be a mistake.” I said.
“No, there’s no mistake.” Mr. Reavis said. “Mr. Martin was very explicit about the offer, particularly the salary.”
“Uh…” I stammered. “I can’t- this is…”
“Mr. Martin has reviewed your entire portfolio and employment history at Logistica, and he’s quite impressed with you. He feels you’ve been under compensated for your work, and he would like to offer you the position of head of development at MarTech.”
“Can I… think about it?”
Mr. Reavis looked surprised. I suppose it must have been surprising that anyone would need to think about that salary offer.
“Of course, but please be aware that we are actively recruiting so-”
“You’ll have my answer by tomorrow morning.” I replied quickly.
“Very well. My number is inside if you have any questions.” Mr. Reavis said. “I don’t think I need to tell you that this is a very lucrative offer.”
“I’m aware.” I said. “I just don’t think I’m qualified for it.”
“Mr. Martin does.” Mr. Reavis said with a shrug. “He’s very rarely wrong about these things.” I pressed my lips together, and thanked him for his time.
I tucked the folder under my arm and headed back to my desk again.
“Should I get you a box?” Jackie asked.
“No. I still work here.”
“What’s that?” she pointed to a folder under my arm.
“Something about the code I worked on for the omega project.” I said, tucking it into my bag.
“Uh-huh.” Lisa muttered. “Keep your secrets.”
Towards the end of the day, I headed towards the elevators. Oscar Martin was waiting for an elevator himself.
“Going down?” He asked, a twinkle in his eyes.
“To the lobby.” I said, narrowing my eyes.
Now he laughed.
“What’s so funny?” I asked.
“You don’t hide your thoughts very well, and it’s becoming really clear you don’t like me. Am I going to get a disappointing phone call from Mr. Reavis in the morning?”
“If you mean, am I going to decline your job offer, I haven’t decided yet.”
“I see. Can I ask what it is about me you don't like?”
“I told you, I don’t know you. I just know your reputation.” I said.
“I see.” He frowned a bit. “Well, I hope you’ll allow me to show you the real me.”
The elevator opened then, and he gestured for me to go ahead. I did, but he didn’t follow.
“Weren’t you waiting for the elevator?” I asked.
“I’ll get the next one,” he replied, and I could tell I’d hurt his feelings. That was surprising. The elevator doors closed before I could say anything else. I sighed.
Once in the lobby, I headed home on foot. The weather was nice, and it was only 10 blocks. At home, I studied the job description. It sounded like a dream, and if the offer was coming from anyone else, literally anyone else, I would have taken it. But my mother had a saying about not getting into bed with serpents.
I sighed. I had student loans and my rent was going up at the end of the month. I needed a new bike and I liked to eat out with my friends on occasion. This job would open doors for me, too. Oscar Martin knew EVERYONE in tech. And the salary , I thought again. It was almost half a million dollars. Even after taxes, I would be set. I could move to a nicer apartment. And what if I refused? Then I’d have no job in a few weeks when he eventually gutted Logistica. Or worse, he might feel slighted. A man as powerful as he was could easily make sure I never worked in tech again.
I bit my lip, and then I dialed the number on the business card stapled inside the folder.
“Mr Reavis? It’s Cara Kavanaugh.” I bit my lip. “I’d like to negotiate a couple of stipulations on your employment offer.” If he was going to try to buy me, I was going to make him pay through the nose.
“You don’t feel it’s a generous offer?”
“I do, but I’m very happy where I am, and in order for me to leave, I’d like to ask for two additional concessions on Mr. Martin’s part.”
“And what are those?”
“First, I would like assurances that my team at Logistica be kept on and offered positions in the development group should MarTech decide to do layoffs or liquidation at Logistica. They are good workers and I would like them to be involved in any project I work on.”
“How many team members?”
“Six.”
“And your second concession?
“A hybrid work model. I would like to work from home two days a week.” I said.
“I’ll discuss this with Mr. Martin and have an answer for you shortly.”
My phone rang less than 20 minutes later.
“Mr. Martin has agreed to your terms.” Mr. Reavis sounded surprised. “Congratulations, Ms.Kavanaugh, and welcome aboard. You’ll need to report to MarTech HQ tomorrow morning to make it official and so we can provide you with an updated offer letter to match your requests. The address is-”
“I know where it is.”
“Please be there by 9am.”
“Thank you.”
I sat down on the couch in disbelief. I was going to be the head of development for one of the biggest tech firms in the world, at 5 times my current salary. Maybe now my dad would finally be proud of me.
I looked at the framed photo of Keith and I on my side table. We had been dating at the time it was taken. I didn’t have feelings for him anymore, not like that, but I had a pang of loneliness and sorrow when I looked at it. We had been a great couple, but he had said “It’s like a best friend thing, not a love of my life thing.” when he broke up with me. He wasn’t wrong, but I hadn’t felt that it was a bad thing, that we were friends. So what if it wasn’t this big passionate thing? It worked. We had been happy, or so I’d thought. And then he’d met Carolina, and that had been that.
I leaned back, looking up at the ceiling. I hoped I wasn’t going to regret this. It wasn’t like me to make snap decisions, but if nothing else, I would be able to pay off my student loans in a few months, so even if it all went south, that was a silver lining.
There was something eating away at the back of my mind, though. I was good at my job, but I wasn’t that good. Unless he saw some potential in the Omega Project that I didn’t. It worried me. But this wasn’t a contract, I wasn’t locked in for any length of time, so I could leave if it didn’t work out, I rationalized.
I normally wore jeans and a t-shirt to work, but I thought I might need to look a little more put together for this… I settled on a pair of dark green trousers and a white top, and set them aside for the morning. I set three alarms on my phone, then I had another unglamorous meal before I called my parents to tell them the news.�� They put me on speaker phone so they could talk to me together.
“You have to get everything in writing.” My dad said when I finished.
“I know Dad.”
“Let me know if you want me to have Murray look it over.” Murray was the family lawyer.
“It’s fine Dad, I can handle it.”
“They’re paying you how much?” My mother was in disbelief.
“Almost half a million. I’m going to run their whole development team.” I said, reading over the offer letter in front of me.
“Cara, please don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure you know what you’re getting into? The things they say about that man on TV.”
“I’ll be careful, mom.” I promised. “I’m aware of his reputation, but this is going to open so many doors for me.”
“I worry that if it doesn’t work out he’ll-”
“Mom!” I said. “Don’t talk like that, positive vibes.” I said. I didn’t want to think about what a powerful man like that would do if it didn’t work out. And I didn’t want to tell her that I felt like I couldn’t say no, either.
“If you’re sure,” she said, but I could hear the doubt in her voice. “He’s very handsome.” She conceded.
“I’m not interested.” I said.
“Good.” My dad said. “You do your job, keep your head down, and your nose clean.”
“He really said he wanted to buy Logistica because of your code?” My mom spoke again, but there was an ember of pride in her voice.
“More or less. I don’t know if he was flattering me or not, but that’s what he said.” I said.
My parents talked about the offer for more than an hour before finally letting me go. I went to bed, but couldn’t sleep. I was too anxious about the morning. It was late by the time I dozed off.
#oberyn martell#pedro pascal#fanfiction#Oberyn Martell Reimagined#oberyn martell x ofc#Terms & Conditions Apply by AJ Pike#plot with smut#fluff#fluff and angst#dom/sub undertones#spicy fanfic#spicy oberyn martell#Oberyn Martell Lives#fifty shades of grey
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I asked for some "word + color" prompts for some low-stakes, quick* doodles so here are the results!
twin + blue
elation + magenta
wedding + silver
cat + orange
#rooart#onmyoji#susabi#susanoo#susasusa#*one of these took way longer than necessary but otherwise all terms and conditions apply#omj
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the gummy bear to fashion model pipeline
(my uterus)
#spend nine months in my belly if you want to look this cute#results not guaranteed#must be a zygote at time of admission#other terms and conditions apply#Fredspawn
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things i was told today that are 100% accurate:
#what is the “comfort” part of hurt/comfort?#in my fics?#probably not a whole lot--#terms and conditions apply#i'm being silly here#i love this a bit too much
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woke up cranky today bc I didn't sleep well. I feel like picking silly fights and causing problems on purpose
#im abt to go to the gym so hopefully i sweat the bad mood out but like. grrr hiss snarl moment#sadly. i will be forced to refrain because i am a responsible adult (terms and conditions may apply)
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the wind is changing... it's about to be kinktober!! I'm taking prompts! Feel free to send me
kink + prompt + pairing and I'll write you 500 wordsish.
Or, if you'd rather, hit me with a whumptober prompt and a character and I will do my best to ruin that character's day.
Probably only Young Royals but you can always try your luck 💚
Kinktober list | Whumptober list
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Julian: I’ll be on my best behavior.* Quark: What was that? Julian: What was what?* Quark: Asterisk vibe.
#julian bashir#ds9 quark#incorrect quotes#ds9#ds 90210#star trek#deep space nine#some terms and conditions may apply
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there are certain subsets of neopaganism where my general impression is that a bunch of people felt like they needed a spiritual/feminist excuse to go fuck in the woods. but here's the thing. you can just do that. you don't have to make up entire imaginary swathes of human history where everyone worshiped some kind of fertility goddess.
#I mean terms and conditions apply you can't just go fuck in any woods there's like. laws and stuff#but that's true whether it's a religious thing or not
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girl who looks like someone's dad (me)
#jack.txt#it is still remarkably difficult for me to express gender in any way that matters#but maybe there's something here. idk#girl (terms and conditions apply) that does not look like a Girl™ and isn't a girl also#girl (vibe based). girl (for girls). girl (dad). idk#i don't wanna think about this too hard atm
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This bloge is an OC welcome zone, I love ocs.
This bloge is also an OC x Canon welcome zone, please ship your ships and have fun.
#|| psa ||#by this i mean i support you~~~#my regular shipping terms and conditions apply re:kuja#dont recc shipping with him but...#u never know
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you should always go for a walk. walks are the mind healer. when you have free time a walk should always be your priority. if you do not want to go on a walk your mind is lying. you should go on a walk. you should go on a walk right now
#terms and conditions apply do not go on a walk if it endangers your health in any way or is not feasible. thank you#tess talks
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the Feanorian visa
As described by @dfwbwfbbwfbwf
#terms and conditions may apply#the text says “visa”#it should have the oath on the back i think#i can't draw#feanorians#random#tw blood
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