#but tbh a few other new stories have caught my eye

[roosterbox]

@gutsfics

Good to know? But all the same, no spoilers please. I try to go in to books (especially brand new stories!) as blind as possible. Like I said, hopefully it’ll get more interesting for me as I play through it. I’ll be greatly looking forward to customizing that character though!

I think I tend to be a little harsh at first to the more mystery-oriented books, just because they never quite grab me as fast as some of the other stuff. Most Wanted was the same way - took a few chapters for me to warm up to it. I probably felt similarly about Veiled Secrets, though I remember liking the characters a bit more (oh hello there, tattooed bad boy who looks like Ian Somerhalder), so who knows. Been awhile since I played through either one of those books. But that’s the nature and risk of mystery writing, you know?

It took me soooooo long to finally commit to finishing the first It Lives book for a similar reason. (also because I realized that the It Lives books had actual fucking serious consequences for bad decisions and I got scared, lmaooo.)

[bewitchedme-body-and-soul]

all sides of you

a/n: this came to me late at night and i had to write it; shout out to @humanalien01 for helping me and supporting my simping. idk how i feel abt the ending tbh :/

summary: a night at josies bar leads to you admitting your thoughts about the devil of hell's kitchen, and a few months later your words come back to haunt you.

word count:2427

warnings: swearing, canon typical violence, reader is victim in an attempted mugging & fights back, cursing, reader is called a bitch

Standing around the pool table at Josie's bar with the Nelson and Murdock team, playful banter spewn between the four of you. Each of you taking turns shooting while also trying to make the others mess up. The laughter coming from the four of you carrying throughout the bar, the three deserved this after a hard case, and you being Matt's partner were happily invited. Foggy happily uses you as a means to try to embarrass Matt with silly stories from their college years. You and Karen, doubling over in laughter as Foggy finishes his current story, Matt's cheeks tinted pink. Upon noticing you move closer to him, pressing a quick kiss against his cheek, then resting your head against his shoulder, his arm wrapping around your middle. 

It's not until Foggy scoffs begrudgingly that your attention and Matts is pulled away to look at what Foggy's upset about. On one of the Tvs hanging around the bar you notice a news story about The Devil Of Hell's Kitchen. Foggy going on a rant about how he thought the man was bad news while you stared at the grainy footage someone caught of the man decked out in all black, as he beat up a group of gang members. You slowly zoned out as you watched how the man in the mask’s body contorted as he flipped and took the bad men out.

“Y/n!” Foggy's voice pulled you out of your daydream, your head snapping to look in his direction, giving him a hum in acknowledgement. “What do you think? What's your opinion on the masked man?” he asks, you know he's hoping you'll take his side.

Your cheeks tint a slight pink at the question, aware of the two pairs of eyes locked on you and Matt's head tilting, obviously also looking forward to your answer.  “Um, i don't really have one” you lie, moving to lean over the pool table and shoot one of the balls. Karen's giggle goes in tandem with the clack of the cue ball hitting one of the stripped balls.

“You're lying!” Foggy calls out pointing an accusatory finger at you, “did you know lying is a sin? I can't believe you would do such a thing while dating our good Catholic Matt Murdock” he gasps a hand over his heart like you wounded him deeply with your tiny fib. The smile on Matt’s face tells you he did not care and he finds Foggy's dramatics hilarious.

“Oh no, however will you forgive me, my love?” you gasp dramatically leaning against Matt. “But seriously my opinion on the man in the mask isn't that important.” you say trying to move on.

Karen laughs before speaking “oh, trust me, too foggy it is very important, and honestly now I’m interested cause it's been just me vs foggy about this since Matt tries to stay out of these conversations” after she's done speaking the attention turns back to you. You sigh as Matt moves to take his turn, now seeing you have no way out of this conversation.

“I don't know, I don't think he has bad intentions or anything” you shrug before continuing “He’s also kinda hot” you say the second part quieter. The other three members of your party all have varying reactions, Karen laughing, Matt giving an awkward chuckle, and Foggy with his over the top dramatics acting as if you’ve insulted his mother. You watch Matt out of the corner of your eye worrying you may have upset him, you’d only been dating a month and a half, the relationship still new, you're still learning things about the other. What if you hurt him?

Foggy's voice pulls you out of your anxiety fueled downward spiral. “I can't believe you would do this to me” he speaks with a voice obviously trying to make you feel bad for not agreeing with him. He puts his head in his hand as he begins to fake cry. You and Karen look at each other before you both double over laughing, Matt joining in as Foggy's fake cries ramp up at your laughing.

You spend another few hours at Josies before you all decide to part ways, you going home with Matt after deciding to spend the night. Once you're in his apartment your anxiety returns from the prior conversation. You both make your way to his bedroom and change into clothes you can sleep in. It's only when you're both in bed, your head on his chest as he rubs your back, that you decide to broach the subject. “Hey Matty, can I ask you a question?” he hums in response. “Earlier at Josies, did I upset you?” you question, heart rate picking up slightly.

Matt feels your heart rate pick up so he quickly leans forward to kiss your forehead before he smiles at you with a soft chuckle, “no, not at all, I trust you, it’s no different than the people who have a crush on the avengers.” you sigh at his words. Anxiety subsiding, you know Matt well enough he wouldn’t lie to you about something like this. You nestle closer to him before grabbing his other hand and kissing his knuckles, ignoring the cracks and healed over abrasions. “Besides, I know I’m your favorite” he says and you don't need to look at him to know he's wearing that cocky grin of his. 

You roll your eyes at him “i suppose” You tease him, no matter who came to you and professed their love, you knew you’d always choose Matt. You feel his chest vibrate under your cheek as he laughs. Eventually the two of you fall asleep in eachothers arms.

~~~

A month passes and you forget the aforementioned conversation ever happened. So many things happening that small moments get buried and forgotten about so easily. It's not till you're walking home one night that the conversation gets catapulted back to the forefront of your mind.

On your way home from a girl date with Karen you get yanked into an alley and thrown against one of the brick walls of a building. The bricks sharp and your head immediately begins to throb as your head smacks against it. A hand goes over your mouth and fight or flight takes over as you feel your heart rate pick up and the rush of adrenaline pumping through your veins. You struggle before biting down with all your might on the hand, the taste of copper coats your tongue. The man who grabbed you yanks his hand back and you spit the blood out onto his face before screaming, hoping you’d be lucky enough for someone to be close enough to hear you. You knew basic self defense but you’d rather be safe and hope someone would at least call emergency services. 

“You bitch” the man yells before slapping you across the face. You bring your knee up in an attempt to connect it with his groin. His hand shoots down, your knee still connects but not with as much force as you hoped. As you attempt to shove him off you hear a thud to the side of you and you can only hope that it’s some good samaritan here to save you. It's only a few seconds later your attacker is yanked off of you and thrown to the ground.

You watch with bated breath as the man in the mask repeatedly punches the guy in the face and head. Once he finishes he makes his way over to you, you can hear him speaking to you, asking if you're alright, but you're distracted by the shape of his jaw and the way his lips move. A sense of familiarity washes over you and you're unsure as to why.

“I’m fine, thank you, I just need to get home.” You quickly rush out before speed walking away. Wanting to be in the safety of yours and Matt's home as quickly as possible, and wanting to scrub your mouth to rid it of the copper taste. A part of you hoping Matt is home so you can just crash into his arms and sleep.

You arrive home to an empty apartment, the billboard on the building across the alley lighting up the living room. You drop your jacket and bag on the counter before moving to the bathroom and brushing your teeth for far longer than the usual two minutes. Afterwards moving to your shared bedroom and changing into the clothes you'd be sleeping in. 

As you're changing you spot a picture of you and Matt on top of your dresser. You pause, taking a moment to admire your partner, that's when it hits you. The sense of familiarity, why the bottom half of the devil of hell's kitchen face looked so familiar. You'd kissed those lips hundreds of times, it's no wonder your body recognized them. Everything begins falling into place in your head, like placing the last puzzle pieces in a puzzle and seeing the finale picture.

Matt's injuries always lined up with when you'd see the man in the mask on the new fighting bad guys. How a part of you always believed there was more to the story than him just falling or whatever excuse he’d give you. He was always so careful, far too careful to just take a tumble as often as he’d tell everyone. You never called him out cause even if a part of you believed he was lying you trusted him enough that you never questioned. Your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the door opening and Matt's voice calling out for you. 

“In the bedroom!” you call back, wondering if he’ll tell you or if you'd have to call him out and question him. You hear him approach and turn to look at him, he looks relatively unharmed, ‘that's good’ you think. “Hey baby.” you can't help the small smile that graces your features, he moves closer to where your voice came from, reaching a hand out towards you. Once he reaches you he wraps his arms around you pressing a kiss against the top of your head. You hear and feel him take a deep breath, you wouldn't be surprised if he was also a little shaken up, he’d just saved his partner from being mugged, you wouldn’t blame him if he was. The two of you sit in silence for a few minutes before you decide you can't take it anymore.

“Baby?” you begin, he hums in response. You take a deep breath before you continue, turning in his arms and wrapping your arms around his neck. “When were you gonna tell me?”  you question, you figure it's best to just rip the bandaid off.

“Tell you what sweetheart?” he questions tilting his head, eyebrows furrowing. He looked like a puppy, confused by the trick its owner is trying to teach it. You understand why he’d try and play this off but you also wish he’d just be honest. Your face morphs into a deadpan expression.

“Matty, seriously, you know what I’m talking about.” You cross your arms over your chest. “When were you going to tell me youre daredevil?” you question. He huffs out a small laugh.

“What? Honey what are you talking about? I’m not the daredevil.” he lies through his teeth.

“I know you can’t see my face but just know it's a look of disappointment cause you should really be better at lying if you're gonna be a vigilante.” you speak before moving just out of matts reach. Deciding he could touch you again when he confessed. A defeated sigh leaves him, you assume he's come to the conclusion that there’s no way of getting out of this without being honest. 

“I don't know, honestly.” he begins “I always wanted to tell you, I hated lying to you, especially after seeing how worried you’d get.” he takes his glasses off sitting them on your dresser. “I was waiting for the right moment I guess. I was worried how you’d react, I didn’t want to lose you.” he finishes looking in your direction. He looks like a puppy that just got scolded and was trying to look cute to get out of punishment.

“First of all, low blow, you know your puppy eyes work way too well on me” you speak trying not to giggle. “Second, Matt I’m literally so in love with you, it’d take a lot more than you running around at night in a mask beating up criminals to lose me.” Now the laugh escapes you, a smile making its way to his face as well at your laugh. He moves closer to you again, hands landing on your waist, before he leans in to kiss you.

“You handled this a lot better than Foggy did,” he laughs. “Also, if you were wondering, yes, i am actually blind” 

“I wasn’t, but good to know.” you laugh “and to be fair, foggy did hate your alter ego.” you lean up to kiss his cheek, “lets go to bed baby” you whisper before crawling into your shared bed as he moves to change into pajamas. Once he joins you in the bed you snuggle into his arms, resting your head over his heart. Thinking over everything as you trace shapes against his chest, it’s then you sit up quickly realizing something. “You little shit!” you yell with a laugh as you playfully hit him in the chest. 

“What? What’d I do?” he asks shock and confusion taking his features

“A few months ago, at Josies with Foggy and Karen” you begin, you can tell by the look his face morphs to that he's beginning to understand. His cocky smile finding his face again. “I confessed that I thought the daredevil was hot and you just let me?” you ask incredulously “no wonder you were so unphased by it” you playfully shove his shoulder

“Would it help if I said I found it very flattering that you did?” he laughed “but seriously, that was when I started seriously thinking about telling you. It made me feel a little bit better about it.” he speaks, moving his hand to rub against your knee.

“Maybe, it does a little,” you confess. “You're still a little shit though.” you laugh moving to kiss him. “My little shit though” you whisper. The rest of the night is spent full of soft touches and laughter as the two of you bask in your love of the other.

[aquaquadrant]

thoughts on the chaos theory trailer below the cut

there’s no WAY brooklynn is actually dead. i will continue to believe this unless i see the credits roll at the end of the final episode without being shown otherwise. depending on how long ago it happened relative to when our story takes place, she either let ppl believe she died during the attack to investigate in secret, or she was kidnapped. there’s a shot of some guy holding a pink cellphone which seems very suspicious.

side note, it’s interesting that she addressed darius directly during that final video. that combined w the lack of focus on kenji makes me wonder if their relationship lasted beyond the jwcc epilogue. ofc we could still get that in the actual show, it makes sense they wouldn’t linger on kenji’s feelings during a short trailer, so it could’ve just been down to editing. we shall see.

i’m so happy and relieved that the other campers are gonna be main characters, i was afraid we’d only get brief cameos with them near the end. i’m not the biggest fan of their older looks (sammy’s is the best imo other than darius) but i don’t HATE them. i think ben’s new design is still the most jarring.

so excited for the variety of new locations we’re gonna see, and how improved the quality of these sets seems to be so far.

the direction of the show- the campers on the run being hunted by dinosaurs while trying to unravel the mystery of who’s behind it all- is a FANTASTIC choice. i think this is when the campers are at their best tbh, when they’re operating as a unit, sneaking around to thwart the bad guys, surviving dinosaurs all the while. being back in society on the mainland could’ve presented a tricky problem of “why don’t they just get help from the police??” so i think this was a clever way to get around that. they are being HUNTED they have no idea who they can trust (perhaps even some of their trauma is playing a hand in that…)

some eagle-eyes folks have caught sight of bumpy in a few scenes. THANK GOD, it wouldn’t feel the same without her.

yasammy seems strong as ever. praying we get plenty of scenes with them being affectionate gfs 🙏🙏🙏

just based on the trailer alone i can def see what the crew meant by this series taking a darker tone. i’m so excited to see just how far they got to go with it. there’s a brief shot of a guy literally in a dinosaur’s mouth, so i have high hopes.

overall? i’m VERY looking forward to this and am tentatively hopeful it might even surpass jwcc as a better series, which is. SO rare for sequels. but i’d be happy even if it fell a bit shorter than jwcc cuz i’m just happy to have any content w these kids. gives me plenty of fodder for my own writing.

[preciouslandmermaid]

quiet fury in your head [ix]

Dream of the Endless x AFAB!Reader!Goddess / Sandman Fanfiction

Note: I was working on the playlist I have for this story and it inspired me to get this chapter out. Truthfully, I had about 80% of the chapter already written AGES ago, and so all I had to do was add the beginning scene/tweak a few things lol

No use of Y/N. See part 1 for all the tags tbh.

Warnings: self-harm in a ritualistic way + blood/injury + angst

Rating: 18+

(Read on AO3)    ||   (masterpost for other chapters)  

The wind gently tugs at your cloak as you stand on the pier. It is wholly unnecessary to be here on the pier, but this is how Dream leaves for his Odyssey, and you’ve always enjoyed the cyclical rhythm of repetition. You were once a trio. There’s power in rituals and repetition. You won’t leave the Dreaming through the waters, but you’ll leave while standing on this pier, the same way Dream does.

“No fanfare or farewell,” Lucienne’s voice floats to your ears. “I’m glad I caught you before you left.”

“Are you?” You glance over your shoulder and your eyebrows tick upward. Lucienne is not alone. Of the Dreaming inhabitants, you bonded with Lucienne and Dima, but there had been other passing connections throughout the centuries. You had not felt them significant at the time, but the presence of Abel, Cain, and the Corinthian proves differently. I have touched their lives even if they have not touched mine. You turn and face the small gathering. The brothers, Abel and Cain, were less of a surprise than the Corinthian who stood with his hands in his pockets and the light reflecting off his sunglasses.

“I wished to give you this,” Lucienne says while passing a leather-bound book to your hands. Instinctively, you open to see the language written within, but blank pages flutter before you like a flurry of white moths, a storm of white sheets.

A fist squeezes inside your throat. “Your kindness is witnessed, Lucienne,” you respond stiffly. This is not an offering like the times of old. This is a gift. Lucienne, loyal to Dream and his Realm, took the time to give you something to remember her by.

“I admit I will miss your presence in the library,” she says, “and our lessons.”

“I will return to the Dreaming someday,” you inform her and her gentle, melancholy smile brightens and reaches her dark, intelligent eyes. Lucienne steps back, nods her head and, the brothers rush into the space she once occupied.

“Lady,” Abel bows, “my brother and I will miss your visits.”

Cain says, “We will miss your stories, especially.”

Throughout the centuries, there had been a handful of times when boredom and loneliness brought you to the brother’s home. You enjoyed watching their endless story – the death and rebirth – the tragedy and anger. It reminded you of your sisters. They’ve always allowed you to stay the for the evening if you agreed to share a story of your people—be it the other Gods or creatures of folktale.

“And your company,” Abel says with a sharp glance at Cain.

“I already said that,” Cain replies hotly. This is their destiny, the wind tugs at the hem of your dark cloak, and I cannot stay to watch it play out once more. You have your future to write. Sisters to bury. A friend to find. A new Godhood to shape.

“Be well,” you cut in before they can continue to argue, “and I will return with new stories.”

It may be a millennium before you return, but time has no bearing on a dream. The brothers bicker quietly as they shuffle back toward the shore. You draw your breath into your lungs and briefly hold it. The Corinthian’s golden head cocks to the side and is studying you when he approaches. You taste the memory of saltwater and bright storms. You will not be bowed by a Nightmare. You exhale and push your shoulders back.

“Have you come to claim your favor?” you ask softly. You feel Lucienne’s eyes on you and imagine how the sight may appear—Corinthian and yourself standing close and speaking in low, intimate tones, as the waters of Odyssey gently lap and wave beneath the dark pier.

His lips quirk. “No. Although, I’m happy to hear you haven’t forgotten it.”

“Of course not. I do not offer promises and favors lightly,” the haughtiness in your tone reminds you of your Old Self – the Goddess of Rage, the Lady Nemain of the Three Sisters. If he has nothing to offer and no farewells to give then I will be on my way. I cannot – I do not wish to delay any longer. I have waited long enough.

You say, “Farewell, Corinthian,” and a shroud of raven feathers encircles you as you vanish from the Dreaming.

************

You stand alone in a scorched grove of ash and blackened soil. The mountains in the distance are haloed by rings of gray smoke and rivers of luminous, orange lava spilled into the valley, inflaming dry brush and shrubs, and boiling once beautiful lakes into sulfur. The sky overhead flashes with lightning, and the air tastes of eroded stone and thunder, of smoldering wood and lonely, empty grief. Your fists clench at your sides.

The Otherworld was a place of verdant, wild fertility, and blue skies. Surely, it could not all be lost, could it? Something must have grown from the ashes. Your hope burns inside your chest.

“I am proud of you, pet,” Desire says, wearing Dream’s face. Their arrival is merely mildly surprising, though not wholly unexpected. You keep shifting through the black soil, pushing dirt with a stick and kicking aside rocks.

“I haven’t buried their tokens yet,” you reply.

“You will and perhaps...in doing so…” Desire trails off, smirking coyly.

You stop and cross your arms. It’s strange to see Dream wearing an expression like this one. It looks wrong and unnatural, yet your stomach clenches as if it is him. A low stirring of desire coils and you tamper it away. This is not your Dream. It is not Morpheus.

“What?” You prod against Desire’s continued silence.

“There’s still magic here,” they say with a wink before vanishing.

“Your secrets no longer tempt me,” you mutter, though Desire has long since vanished. There is nothing Desire can offer you. They cannot revive your sisters and would offer you only impostors. They would look, and perhaps act as Badb and Macha, but it would not be them. You are here to see the destruction for yourself and bury your sisters. Nothing more and nothing less.

All of the beautiful oak Dagda’s trees have been chopped and reduced to low stumps. Some were torn asunder from the earth and cast aside, their roots gnarled and twisted, or blackened into white-gray charcoal. Dagda. your Chieftain God had a white beard that twisted like tree roots and wise, ebony eyes—a face that you will always remember, but are destined to never see again. You swallow past the lump inside your throat.

It takes minutes or hours before you find the Heart Tree—Dagda’s magnificent oak. The symbol of his power and his standing with the Gods.

Or, rather, you find what remains of it.

The massive stump could fit an entire village within its rings. You drag your fingers across the rough, dark bark of its sprawling roots and then dig your fingertips into the divots and cracks with a strenuous exhale. The hem of your bloody dress catches on the jagged surface and you tugged it free, tearing it.

You ignore the rip and continue to climb.

You claw your way to the edge and pull yourself onto the flat, spiral-marked surface of Dagda’s Heart Tree. You do not stop crawling until you reach its center and collapse, face first, into the soft and sweet-smelling oak. Your fingertips are scarlet, blood seeping into your nail beds, and your hands are chaffed raw.

A raven lands near your forearm, “Lady Morrigan?”

“I am alright.” You lie, knowing her connection to Morpheus, and hating that he might see your sorrow and shame. The destruction is real. The death is real. There is nothing left of the Otherworld.

If only you had defeated Lugh, you might have saved your sisters and saved your home. Your nose squishes against the wood, and you breathe deep and seek an impression of Dagda’s magic within the layered bark.

Please, you beg the impassive wood, please, I do not wish to be alone forever.

The raven nudges her beak into your elbow. You sense that she is attempting to comfort you and wish you had any energy to smile or offer gratitude.

************

Dream sits on his throne, and holds your feather between his forefinger and thumb, and watches the play of light on the glossy, obsidian surface.

You have not moved from your fetal position on the large, forgotten tree stump. He watches through his raven – Myrtle—and his chest aches at the marks of grief shadowed beneath your eyes. He wishes to spare you from suffering.

Again and again, he considers summoning you to the Dreaming, using this feather like a sigil, and returning you to your rightful place beside him. But he resists the temptation. He has released you and you promised you would return.

He contemplates whether or not he made the correct choice. However, as long as Myrtle remains, he could take an odyssey into the Otherworld if you need him. He twirls the feather between his fingers and sighs. A sense of melancholy and regret found a home inside his chest. I should have followed. But I cannot abandon my responsibilities within the Dreaming for the sake of a whim.

************

Your weary bones ache as you walk. The feasting hall stands against the ashen backdrop like a skeletal, black behemoth. You pluck a piece of charcoal from the shifting ash and gravel and draw your old tattoos onto your skin. They had faded over time as your followers diminished and the rest of your pantheon died.

It’s time to mourn your sisters. It’s time to lay their tokens beneath the Heart Tree as Desire instructed.

You are the last remaining Goddess of a forgotten and abandoned worship. You are the last of your kind. And you owe it – to yourself, to the mortal you once were, to your sisters – to continue to live and find a way to rebuild what you lost.

You find the homestead that you shared and it is remarkably unburnt. A collection of small animal skulls hangs on red threads from the ceiling in Badb’s room and its rich, perfumed scent of dried flowers lingers in the smoky air.

You gasp and stubbornly wipe away the tears clinging to your eyes.

Macha’s room glows with warmth, swaths of carnelian and crimson fabrics are draped over the wooden beams, and elaborate woven rugs cover the floor. You snip a crow’s skull from its thread and collect Macha’s hairbrush made of horsehair. These tokens, you think, will suffice.

Lastly, you approach your room and behold the sight of a lifetime eons ago. The walls are covered with your favorite offerings—bronze spears that glimmer when the sun cuts through the open window. You break the tip of a spear and stand at the center of your sparse room with a rueful smile. Dream’s raven lands on the windowsill and caws.

You bow your head in silent appreciation. You had sensed her vigil. You know her presence meant Morpheus is watching over you as well, but that particular knowledge is harder to stomach.

You do not want him to be privy to this ritual. Your grief is choking your lungs.

It is not a long walk to return to the Heart Tree, though it feels as if it takes centuries. Your mind fills with a certain blackly-clad dressed individual in a starry cloak and unfathomable eyes. Oh, Morpheus. Your time in the Dreaming has softened you to him. You recall how he stood on the beach framed by cobalt waves with his hands clasped behind his back. You had watched his subjects and their subdued and hidden adoration of their Maker, and how even the blades of grass turned toward him.

He is an isolated, dark star in a kaleidoscope of wonder and radiance.

You wonder if it meant something that he offered you mercy, that he warranted you an exploration of the Otherworld because he felt some type of kinship to you. Could he see me as an equal now? You shake your head. These musings are useless. They serve little purpose but to make your chest ache with ruinous desire. You set aside all thoughts of Morpheus and his inscrutable sentiments.

The bronze spear tip is warm in your palm. You were once the Queen of Raven’s, weren’t you? You nudge against the raven’s mind, feeling Morpheus there, and learn the raven’s name is Myrtle.

You meet her dark eyes and see Morpheus in them, “I’m sorry,” You say earnestly, abandoning your sense of pride for this one, single precious moment. With a firm mental hand, you push his essence from Myrtle, and she flies– startled – into the air.

The soil is waiting.

You press the gilded point to your vulnerable inner wrist. A God should not be able to bleed. However, your weakened powers are heightened within the Otherworld, even if it is a shadow of itself. You bleed if you will it. A pinprick of deep crimson wells at the slight pressure of your hand.

“Farewell, sisters.”

You drag the point upward toward your inner elbow and rivulets of blood pour onto Badb’s and Macha’s tokens. You speak the poems of remembrance and farewell in a pleading and undulating tone that is reminiscent of your followers chanting beneath full moons. Your skin burns. The ash and dirt stir at your feet.

Your bloody fingers are freckled with dirt as you dig and bury Badb’s skull and Macha’s hairbrush beneath the Heart Tree’s roots. There. I have finished my task for Desire. I am free. I am free to live at last.

Your eyes snap backward into your skull. You see stars. You see your sisters. A rush of cold air whips around your face. You see Lugh’s laughing face. You see the glorious battlefields. The ground trembles. You see, through Myrtle’s eyes, that one of the volcanoes has erupted.

The Otherworld thickens with soot, memory, and supplication.

Morpheus’ face appears before you.

“You said you wished to see the Otherworld. Not that you wished to revive your sisters.” He clutches your bleeding wrist with wild, bright, and burning eyes. His voice is as impassive as stone.

Is that what I was doing? You wonder, though your dry lips cannot form the words. An icy panic latches itself onto your heart. The Otherworld is crumbling – it is dying. You feel it. A part of you, the part of you that is Badb, abruptly understands that the Otherworld has been waiting for your return. This is your fate and your doom.

Desire wanted me to come here...they said magic remained...did they know? Morpheus squeezes your bloody wrist. But your broken skin stubbornly refuses to heal. Did they believe I could revive my sisters in the end?

The Otherworld opens its arms to you. You are its doom and its epilogue. It wanted all its children home before it imploded like a dying star. You are a stream returning to the ocean. You are a plant wilting and rotting to compost. The Otherworld cracks.

“This is how it ends. You – Morpheus – were destined to be my undoing – my ruin.” Your voice sounds like Badb’s, raspy and weary and older than the stars themselves.

“You’re lying,” he seethes and his rage is cold. You taste his fear in the wind. I do not wish to leave you either, Morpheus. His eyes harden like black ice. If he does not believe you, well, it does not matter because the End is coming for you. Everything ends. Even Gods.

Something hot trickles down your cheeks.

“My fate is yours, Dream,” you shout over the cacophony of the tempest and volcanic earthquakes, “it has always been yours.”

Finally, you understand the prophecy. Nemain of the Three Sisters, The Banshee Queen, is meant to die in the arms of Dream the Endless. This is how your story goes:

He will always save you from Lugh’s poison. You will always venture into the Dreaming and marvel at its splendor.

Desire will always find you. Dream will always release you from the Dreaming’s prison...and protection.

You will always return to the Otherworld and bury your sister’s tokens.

And he will always lose you.

You will always be dead, worse off than a shade, with your name forgotten and history buried. You have already done this and will do it all again. This is what it means to be a God. A story. A written ending cannot be changed.

Perhaps the act of burying your sister’s tokens will be enough to return your sisters to the collective consciousness. Desire said there is magic here. You don’t need the whole tree. A small acorn of magic will be enough.

Let the stories sing of the magnificent Morrigan. Let her be courageous and devious, wicked, and wise. Let her contain all the fractured angles of a glistening gemstone. And let your name, Nemain, fall into dusted obscurity among the annuals of history. It will be enough. If you can change the narrative, in this small, wonderful way, then all of it—your loneliness, guilt, despair, grief, and longing—it’ll be worth it. You mentally sing your wish to the winds.

“No.” His anger thaws. “No.” He must’ve seen the resignation and sincerity in your face. “You promised you would return.”

You hold Dream’s face between your hands. You realize the wetness gliding over your face isn’t sweat or blood, but tears and you blink them away. Gods do not cry. And, more selfishly, you don’t want your final moments to be blurred.

“It would seem I am unable to honor my promise. I hope you will not hate me for it, though I will not fault you if you do.”

“I do not,” he says fiercely, his pale hands are marred with your blood, and they grip your face in desperation as the Otherworld collapses.

A faint, white light shines and sparkles through the fissures. A flicker of frustration etches across Dream’s usually calm, proud face.

“Come to the Dreaming.”

Even at the end of all things, you will not obey his orders. He would do well to understand that.

“I do not belong there,” you say with some difficulty, “you said so upon our first meeting and it was the truth. I am neither dream, nor nightmare, nor memory.”

“And what of my memories?” He pins you beneath his weighted gaze. “I do not forget so easily.”

You surge forward and kiss him with a tumultuous, wounded heart. Dream is motionless. You groan against his stubborn mouth, wishing for reciprocation, and hating the way your heart shatters at his stoicism. It is an odd feeling to let the tears fall.

You are not a creature of tears and sorrow. You are a herald of death and blood lust. Or you were. You were.

Dream slants his mouth over yours, adjusting, and you shudder, mollified.

You will fracture into oblivion and obscurity, yes, but at least you have this moment. In an era of solitude and bereavement, you will not face death alone. The dirt shimmers with light. You pull away from him with the solemn decision to face your death with your eyes open.

Morpheus’ intense expression steals the breath from your lungs. You burn alive like a sacrificial lamb in the light of his eyes.

“The Morrigan,” he whispers your name in reverence, “Queen of Nightmares.”

************ After the Otherworld shattered in brilliant light, his sister did not come and claim the Morrigan’s soul. This fact offers a paltry balm to his wounded heart. You might still yet live. Somewhere. Though Dream doesn’t know how to find you.

You do not dream, so he cannot find you within the Dreaming. And although your raven father no longer vibrates with echoes of your magic, he carries it with him, trapped in a desperate and melancholy hope within his breast pocket.

He cannot undo destiny. If it was your fate to become ‘undone’ – as you put it – then that was your fate. There is no bargain to be made, no trick to reveal, and no nightmare to banish. He considers calling upon his brother, Destiny, but what purpose would that serve? He knows how the story ends. He was there.

He focuses on his duties, his realm, and his creations.

It rains often.

He creates a Nightmare with black, feathered wings and sharp fangs, but struggles to complete the Nightmare’s eyes. He can only think of your eyes—deep, electrifying, the amount of swirling stars within them varying based on your mood—and he cannot get it right.

The Nightmare remains unfinished.

He doesn’t lament over the unfairness of losing you. He is Endless. This is the way things are, the way they were always meant to be, and it would be unproductive to whinge over it.

He has found himself at the stormy cliffside more often than expected. He stands with his hands clasped behind his back and focuses on remembrance—he’ll recall the sublime shape of your spine, the arch of your neck exposed to him with an up-do hairstyle, the play of your emotions across your face, fierce and breathtaking, even when sharpened with malice. He recalls the way your eyes looked on that final, fateful day. The galaxies within your irises had imploded, creating a field of black holes, and streaks of warping and bulbous light consumed the darkness before cannibalizing itself.

Another day, he returns to the mountainside where he secretly witnessed your first and only smile. He lifts his palm and lets the snowflakes settle on his skin with iced, tiny kisses.

He recalls your tearful expression, accepting his scorn, his denial, in light of everything you’d done. Your instinctive selfishness and desire for survival, luminous anger, and gilded conceit.

He doesn’t offer forgiveness or mercy for his creations. His realm requires ancient laws and stalwart order. That is how it functions. But he offered those gifts to you because you were not of his realm.

You were an outsider, who effortlessly wove yourself into the tapestry of the Dreaming – into him. He felt your touch, rich like blood, delicate as spring’s bloom, in the whispered nightmares you left behind.

Your final gift to him had been a kiss that seared his soul and bound him forever.

To him, none can compare, and he aches like a man starved for food at a banquet.

He has sensed Lucienne’s worry for him. However, she’s loyal and smart enough to not broach the topic.

He knows when others are speaking of you because they hush when he enters a room. Save for Corinthian. In the days after your annihilation, your death, Corinthian approached him and petitioned himself to search the living, waking world to try and find you.

He saw it for what it was. A poor, thinly veiled attempt to escape the Dreaming. He denied him.

Under the full, blue-gray moonlight, Dream stands in a field of pink camellias, pale red carnations, and purple heliotropes dappled with fresh rainwater. He pulls your feather from his coat and slides it across his lips – a poor substitution to your touch – but it’s all he has.

****

A/N: Flower meanings: pink camellias symbolize longing, pale red carnations symbolize an aching heart, while heliotropes symbolize eternal love/devotion.

[eoieopda]

Congrats on 2k!!🥳💋✨

As for the request- for the love of God, 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 do a Seokjin + fake dating au where he realises he is falling for reader😭

i gotchu, boo!

the one with seokjin and without complaints

pairing: kim seokjin x gn!reader type: drabble | type: fluff | wc: 973 summary: you don’t want to arrive dateless to a wedding your ex is also attending. enter friend and local hero, kim seokjin. au: fake dating, drunken confession. cw: alcohol use & moderate tipsiness, blatant inspo. by “leonard cohen” — boygenius, not proofread tbh 🤪 rating: pg15 *regardless, my content is not for minors. minors or ageless blogs who interact with my content will be blocked.

When you pulled up outside Seokjin’s apartment building to find him waiting on the sidewalk, you were all smiles. He’d hopped in the passenger seat, did his best not to stare at you in all your satin-wrapped glory, and asked one last time if you were sure you didn’t want him to drive. You, despite your absolutely abysmal sense of direction, declined.

And then you were off, headed for the highway with only the faintest hint of anxiety vibrating through you. As you drove, you’d thanked him for his service — for the thousandth time — and he’d reminded you — for the thousandth time — that it wasn’t necessary. He’d meant it he said he’d do anything for you, up to and including spending too much money on a new suit just to make your shithead ex feel slightly worse.

After a few minutes of easy conversation, you reached the on-ramp and stopped at the red light. Noticing the song that shuffled to the top of the queue, he’d moved to change it to something that wasn’t garbage. With a flexed brow and all the emphasis in the world, you hit him with a challenge he couldn’t turn down:

“Seokjin-ah, if you love me, you will listen to this song.”

So, he’d let you enjoy your own questionable taste in music without complaint. Of course, he’d realized a long time ago that you were headed in the wrong direction, but Seokjin would’ve rather died than interrupt the full-blown performance you were giving within the confines of your seatbelt. 

He couldn’t tell what prompted the butterflies to appear en masse in his stomach: the way you’d blushed when the song ended and he clued you into your mistake, or the prospect of more time to swap embarrassing stories the other somehow hadn’t heard yet. The unintentional detour had added an hour to the drive, but Seokjin had no complaints about that, either.

Eventually, you’d reached your destination and whipped into the venue’s parking lot at a rate of speed Seokjin could only describe as criminal. Claiming the last remaining space before some other straggler could snag it, you’d turned and shot him a wink that made him go a little bit stupid.

It suddenly made sense why you’d never been hit with a moving violation. Nobody on the receiving end of that smile could have the strength of will to ticket you.

“Ready?” He’d asked once he joined you on the pavement, glancing at the entrance before his eyes flicked over to you.

You didn’t look it, but you’d swallowed hard and said, “Ready.”

Like it was the hundredth time and not the first, your hand slipped into his and squeezed tight. Distinctly not ready, you’d followed his lead as he headed towards the front doors. Seokjin caught sight of your joint reflection in the glass pane as he pulled the door open. Your ruse would’ve fooled him if he wasn’t in on it, he’d realized. It looked right, you holding onto him.

The ceremony was exactly as boring as he’d expected it would be, but your head resting lightly against his shoulder was a sufficient distraction. Completely ignoring the vows being exchanged several meters ahead of him, Seokjin had spent a minimum of ten minutes trying to figure out what the scent of your shampoo was, and why it was giving him heart palpitations. When the newlyweds paraded past him on the way back down the aisle, he’d ignored that, too, and wiped the sentimental tear off your cheek with the side of his thumb.

Thankfully, the reception was proving to be infinitely more exciting than its predecessor.

Despite scanning the area several times, Seokjin still couldn’t spot your ex in the crowd of guests. You still danced as if that clown was watching, touched Seokjin’s arm whenever you laughed at one of his jokes with your whole chest. He was dizzy, kind of, but maybe that was the champagne.

No, he ultimately concluded. The champagne was currently working it’s magic on you, sloshing lightly in your flute as you set it back down on the table.

“I have a confession to make,” You whispered at full volume, smiling sheepishly. “Promise you won’t get mad?”

You reached across the table to take his hand and knocked over the aforementioned flute in the process. With reflexes shockingly quick for someone as tipsy as he was, Seokjin managed to steady the glass before it could empty onto the table cloth. Eyebrows raised, he smirked expectantly back at you.

“They aren’t here.”

Seokjin wasn’t following, and that was definitely the champagne. You squeezed your eyes shut and proceeded to spill your secret at a shocking pace.

“Chan told me a few weeks ago that their RSVP said no.” Your blush licked up your cheekbones like a wild fire. “I may have known that when I asked you to come with me. I just didn’t…”

Your voice petered out at the end of that sentence. You cracked one eye open to look at him in anticipation of a reaction.

“I didn’t know if you’d want to come with me if I asked you outright,” You sighed. “I just — I really wanted you here. You know, with me.”

Inside Seokjin’s head, there were no thoughts, only bells and sirens and whistles and fireworks exploding, sending sparks down to put themselves out on the smooth surface of his brain. He didn’t have words, but he did have hands; so, he cupped your face between them and kissed you with all the emphasis in the world.

You kissed him back with vigor until you eventually pulled back breathless. Shock evident in your whisper — and this time, it really was one — you asked, “You’re not mad?”

Like it was the hundredth time and not the second, Seokjin kissed you with a smile.

“No complaints.”

[drkmgs]

!System Error!

Cipher (Fast and Furious) x Fem!Reader

Warning: angst, cursing, violence is mentioned, sex is mentioned, mentioned of child lost, divorce mentioned

Story type: One shot

I absolutely have no idea how hacking works, but I do know how hard programming is, because I had to learn the basics, but still can't programm. I think I know more html than any programming language. (lol) This was a request via DMs and I don't remember the plot I was planning for this one, so I came up with a new one. TBH, I didn't watch Fast and Furious, so I have no idea what the plot is.

Happy Pride Month!

"Fuck!" You cursed and slammed down on your desk. This was the ninth time already that someone has tried to get into your system, and sadly, they now succeeded. You pressed a red button to shut down all of your devices, took your leather jacket from your computer chair, and swiped a card to call the elevator.

Entering the elevator, you only had one person in your mind who would annoy you by hacking into your system, and they won't stop until they get what they want. So, you are going to pay them a visit and share a piece of your mind, which might involve violence.

Arriving at the garage level, you took one of your helmet off the shelves, carried it to your recently purchased motorcycle, and settled on it before putting the helmet on. Then, you drove out of the garage onto the streets.

—

On the other side, Cipher leaned back on her chair, putting her feet up on the desk, satisfied with her work. Though she might regret this later on when she hissed at her fresh wounds. It didn't take long for her peace to vanish into thin air when she heard a familiar voice shouting not far where she sat.

"Where the fuck is she?!" You push the guard trying to stop you from entering the room, the guy is twice the size of you and yet you are able to push him away. The guy keeps trying, but once he makes eye contact with Cipher, she dismisses him with a lazy wave of her hand, and he is gone.

You marched with clenched fists to her, and she looked up at you when you stopped by her side, giving her a death glare. "Stop hacking into my system when you're bored, I have been telling you that for the last months now." You said through your teeth, fists still clenched tight.

"You should strengthen your walls then. Where I can't easily pass through." She shrugged and smiled at you. SMILED?! Now, you are 100% sure she's gone mad. You are about to lose your mind and might just throw her against the wall.

You leveled down to her, aggressively pulling the chair by the restarm to face you, which cause her feet to drop on the ground and lean forward to you. You trapped her with both your arms in the seat. You looked straight into her eyes. "Listen here, Cipher. You might be one of a hella cyber hacker, but don't forget who broke your fingers once, and I'm not far from doing it a second time. Stop lingering around my system to get my attention! You blew your chance two years ago!" That last sentence wasn't planned. It shouldn't have made it out of your mouth, but you couldn't help it.

If she was doing this, because she wants to get another chance with you, this is where you need to tell her that it is never going to happen. Ever. Again. You knew her already. She'll do everything to get want she wants and then toss you out like you have never shared a bed together and made her cum multiple times with your mouth and fingers.

It was clear that the last sentence caught both of you off guard. You immediately stepped back from her as if the chair you were hold was made of lava. You closed your eyes, pinching the space between your eyes, and exhaled. "J-Just remove yourself from my system. Please." Only a few seconds later, you hear fast keyboard noises and a loud enter. "It's gone. You may go now." For the first time in your life you hear her cold voice, it shot through your cracked heart.

But this situation where both you are right now wasn't your fault. It was hers. She made the choice. She didn't have the right to be mad at you. "Thanks. If you didn't make that choice two years ago, maybe we wouldn't have ended up like this." You had your back facing her.

"How many times do I have to apologize?" If it wasn't quiet in the room, you might have not heard what she said, but the silence of the room was suffocating and made things easy to hear. You scoffed, turning around facing her. "Your apologies can't bring my child back to life!" Cipher stands up straight towering over you. "She is also my child!" She shouted at you. "You! Have no right to say that! The moment you chose that stupid plan of yours, you lost the right to be her parent! So fuck off, Cipher!"

Every sentence you said you pushed your fore finger onto her chest, you saw red, and it's a miracle you aren't throwing punches at her or even throwing her across the room, probably it's because you both got tired of expressing your anger to each other physically, so you are doing it emotionally now.

You can't do this anymore. "I want a divorce." You announced. Cipher staggered a step back, leaning her hands on her desk to keep her up on her feet. She didn't think that the pain she had caused you was this bad. She thought giving you space and time, everything would go back to its own place, and you would eventually forgive her, but she underestimated the damages that had been done.

Is she ready to let you go? Does she want to let you go? Do you deserve someone better? Definitely. "No." Cipher pushed away from the desk and faced you. "Don't make things harder for us, Cipher. We can't see each other without biting each others heads off. Hell, we don't share the same bed anymore! We are partly living in our offices!" You argue. "Then let's get back together! We can fix this! We don't have to go down that road." Cipher took one step closer to you, which made you step back. "Please." You could hear the desperation in her voice, but you chose to ignore it.

The pain is too much. You stepped further away from her. You shook your head, tears threatening to fall before it could you turn around and left her.

[thefallennightmare]

Moment of Weakness-thirteen

*credit to whoever created the gif. found on google/Pinterest *

Pairings: Mob!Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: language, smut, angst, fluff, affair, cheating, violence.

Summary: Reader is the assistant to New York's most feared mob boss, James Buchanan Barnes. He had the picture-perfect life: status in the mob, friends, and beautiful wife. So why can't he keep his mind and eyes off of reader?

Authors Notes: tbh, I'm still trying to figure out a mob storyline, like how with my last story Bucky was creating serum. But now I'm at a loss as to what it could be for this one. feel free to send me some ideas!

Tags(open): @splendidreads @sebsgirl71479 @mdpplgtz03 @pattiemac1 @unaxv @elizacusi-blog @alana4610 @broadwaybabe18 @themayzittcha @playboystark @raajali3 @ozwriterchick @ragamuffin285 @screamingdying @themorningsunshine @kenziekugler22 @calwitch @sebastianstansqueen @stanaddict @stucky-simp03 @sleyeveryday @loustan90 @lyra-black13 @valsworldofcreativity @cjand10 @tesseract69 @batprincess1013 @subwaysurf45 @arsonfrogger @winters1917 @yoruse @5moremin @lipstickandtanqueray @mandijo17 @joannaromanoff @justsebstan

“Bucky, stop it,” I giggled, feeling his presence behind me. 

He hummed while burying his face deeper into my neck, fingers softly tickling my sides. 

“You smell so good, doll.” 

I sighed while setting down the papers I was trying to fax and leaned my head back against his shoulder while looking up at him. 

“It’s called a shower. Soap, shampoo.” 

Bucky smirked. “Naked, I know the drill.” 

I smacked his chest while removing myself from his grasp and went back to my work. 

It had been almost a month now of our affair and we had been so perfect now to get caught that the last thing I needed was for Steve or Sam to walk into work and see Bucky’s lips all over me. There were a few stolen glances, soft touches, and quick kisses in his office. We opted on fully seeing each other at my house, never thinking of going to his house. 

Most nights were spent having sex and Bucky left right after but lately, it had been lounging on the couch and watching movies, Bucky still leaving afterwards. Every time he would go back to Natasha, my heart would chip away. I couldn’t be upset with him though because that was the price for our affair.

“Where are you going?” Bucky pouted while reaching for me. 

I playfully smacked his hands away. “Someone gave me a list of things to get done today and I’ve barely made a dent.” 

He shrugged. “You can take a break. Boss’ orders.” 

“You have a meeting with Stark in twenty minutes, remember?” I reminded him. 

“All I need is five,” his brows wiggled while he leaned against the wall, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips.   

My abdomen burned with his suggestive tone but I merely shook my head. “Trust me, I know that’s all you need. But I’m not risking getting caught cause you’re horny.” 

His bottom lip pouted and after a quick glance around, I took it between my own lips while ghosting a hand down his stomach and ghosted over his cock. Bucky groaned into the kiss. 

“Fucking tease,” he hissed. 

I gave him one last kiss. “Come by tonight and maybe I’ll finish what I started.” 

“I’m holding you to that, doll.” 

A loud squeal erupted from my throat when I walked past Bucky and felt him smack my ass quite hard and he simply shrugged then walked into his office. 

“Hey, what is Stark even coming for anyway?”

I was sitting at my desk while Bucky sat at his. 

“He’s funding the next project for Barnes Industries,” Bucky said. 

“Which is?” I pried with a small smile. 

He shook his head, however. “Not something you need to know, doll.” 

In the way he ended the conversation, I knew it wasn’t best to try and get more information out of him. There were some things that Bucky wouldn’t tell me about his place in the mob and even if he said it was for my safety, I couldn't help but wonder what he was working on behind closed doors. 

The rest of the morning passed by pretty quick, the meeting with Stark taking up majority of Bucky’s time so I barely saw him. He did manage to send me a few texts during the meeting. 

I miss you. 

I bet you’re staring at your work with a small smile on your face. 

All I can think about is your mouth on my cock. 

The last one caused my cheeks to flush and I had to make sure no one was around to read it on my phone. Thankfully, Steve and Sam were out doing the lunch pick up for me, since they saw I was buried in work. The three of us had just finished our lunch together on the couch in the main area of the office when the door behind me opened Stark greeting us with a smile. 

“Afternoon. Say, Y/N, I heard you stood up to Clint Barton,” Tony asked with a raised brow. 

I gave a half shrug. “It wasn’t that big of a deal. I just told him that I knew more than he thought I did, that’s all.” 

“Don’t be too sure,” Stark placed his infamous glasses on the bridge of his nose. “Barton doesn’t like being played like a fool, especially by women.” 

My heart began to beat fast and Steve noticed the way I shifted in my chair, placing a comforting hand on my knee to stop it from shaking. 

“I wouldn’t worry about it too much, Y/N,” Steve assured me. 

All I could do was nod while Bucky appeared behind Stark and showed him the way out, his eyes landing on Steve and me. The way his pupils darkened told me that he was jealous with how close we were. 

Steve must have sensed it because he removed his hand, placing it in his own lap. 

“Sam, any word from your guy if it’s ready?” Bucky asked. 

Sam held up his phone. “It’ll be ready in an hour.”

I looked between them, confused, and wanted to ask what they were talking about but with the stance Bucky had, I kept my lips shut.  

Bucky tossed a large leather bag onto Steve’s lap with a bit of extra force. “Why don’t you and Steve head over there to pick it up.”

Steve snickered while running a hand through his hair. “No need to be jealous, punk.” 

Bucky’s jaw clenched. “Get it done, jerk.” 

He then turned his attention towards me. “Y/N, can I see you in my office please?” 

I swallowed thickly. “Sure.” 

Bucky watched as Sam and Steve left before following me close into his office, the door locking shut behind us. 

“Did I do-?”

My question was seized with Bucky’s lips on mine, ravishingly attacking them, while he backed me against the wall and locked me in with his hips. I ran my hands through his short hair, wishing I had something to grab and pull, so I settled with tracing my fingers behind his neck. 

Bucky’s vibranium hand snuck up my shirt and began palming my left breast, my moan being swallowed by his tongue. He pulled away briefly, his pupils blown from lust, and began to bite down hard on my neck. 

“Bucky,” I hissed. “Someone will see.” 

“I don’t care,” he grunted into my neck, hips grinding into mine. 

My eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of ecstasy, the tip of his grown cock pressing into my thigh. I went to work on his belt in hopes that his pants would follow, however, his phone rang from pocket halting all of our actions. 

Bucky cursed as he pulled away and fished the phone out, eyes scanning the screen. 

“Is it important?” I asked, breathless from our kiss. 

He nodded. “Why don’t you head home for the rest of the day. I’ll come by after dinner.” 

I noticed the way his shoulders tensed, and face went rigid with anger. 

“Anything I could help with?” 

Bucky cupped my cheek and left a gentle kiss upon it. “I appreciate the help, doll. But I can handle it.” 

“Alright,” I nodded. “Eight o'clock?”

“Eight o'clock,” Bucky grinned.

I slammed the drawer shut with force, retrieving the pen I had been looking for, and hastily wrote down the list of things I needed to pick up at the store today for the office. My breathing was low and deep, anger festering low in my belly. 

“Doll,” the voice breathed against the shell of my ear. 

I pushed away from him and my desk, walking towards the other end of the office to do whatever I found for myself. As long as I was far away from him, I didn’t care what it was. 

“Y/N,” Bucky sighed as he followed me. 

“Leave me alone,” I demanded, not bothering to look at him. 

He stepped in front of me, blocking my path towards the small break room. A groan of annoyance rumbled out of my throat. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologized with a small pout. 

I scoffed and put all of my weight on my left foot. “You’re sorry? You fucking ditched me, Bucky. I waited all night for you.” 

He nodded and wrapped a hand around my wrist, bringing it to his lips and peppered kisses all over the skin there. 

“I know but something came up.” 

“Right, of course. What was it, work?” I questioned. 

Bucky swallowed and avoided my gaze. “Yeah.” 

My eyes sliced into him and removed myself from his grasp. “You’re a shit liar. Natasha posted a picture of the two of you at some club last night.” 

“Shit,” he cursed. 

“If you wanted to spend time with her, that’s all you had to say. I get it, she comes first.” 

My body was pressed up against a door behind me, Bucky capturing my lips in such a breathtaking kiss that I stood frozen in his embrace. It was a hard one, parting my lips with the force of it. There was nothing soft about it, the door I was pressed against rattling as Bucky shifted our position, his thigh digging into my heated core, and grabbed my face between his hands. 

Every single thought I had in my head exploded, to a bright, pounding white and I felt a desire twist in my insides heat up, ready to snap with my orgasm, thanks to Bucky moving my hips up which caused me to rut my pussy against his thigh.  

There was a screaming voice in my head, however, to stop this before someone walked in because even if we were hidden behind the wall, if someone turned the corner, they would catch us. I went to pull away but Bucky’s grip in my hair tightened while he swallowed my tongue. 

“No,” he said, bringing my lips back to his. Just like the previous kiss before. 

He had me in his hands like putty and I ignored the voice in my mind, hands sneaking underneath his suit jacket and pressed himself closer to me, my entire skin feeling as if it was on fire. 

“Hello?” A petite voice echoed. 

Bucky and I practically jumped away from each other after hearing the familiar voice and while I fixed my hair and shirt, Bucky shifted his now prominent dick, hoping it wouldn’t show her what we were just doing. 

“Bucky?” The voice sounded again. 

He walked out in the open and smiled at Natasha. “What are you doing here, sweetheart?” 

I leaned up against the wall to take a few deep breaths, hoping that the extra time would calm the redness that spread over my body. Natasha couldn’t see me so there was no way she caught what we had been doing. 

“Are you here alone?” Natasha asked. 

Bucky side eyed me and nodded. “Yeah, everyone went out for lunch.” 

“Well, Clint showed up to the house and he kept rambling on about-.” 

He grasped Natasha’s arm to silence her before pulling her into his office, my eyes watching with curiosity as to what the hell he didn’t want me to hear.

[meetmyothersouls]

In desperate need of Phantom! Timothee X Reader, been thinking of it all day tbh.

This one has me so excited! Been thinking about it for a while and I think I came up with a good premise. May or may not need a part 2, since what I’ve planned would make an entirely too long single fic. Let me know if you’d like a part 2 and I’ll add it to my list :) 

Phantom of the Theater  

Warnings: feelings of being watched/stalked, not proofread, Phantom!Timothee, set a years into the future

You moved to New York City to pursue your acting career in 2029. The same year Timothee Chalamet dropped off the face of the earth. It’s a year that sticks out to you; not because you moved your entire life across the United States or because you auditioned for countless Broadway shows, sent in hundreds of video audition tapes to casting and talent agencies, but because it seemed like no matter where you turned, the first 6 months of 2029 was focused solely on one question: where did Timothee Chalamet go?

Things calmed down in the summer. People stopped talking about Timothee Chalamet’s disappearance and started talking about Kim Kardashian announcing her candidacy for US president. That July you got approved for a shitty apartment located on the top story of an old, but operating theater. It was overpriced, it was cold (even in the summer), and it didn’t have a bathroom. But you weren’t on the street, and you were no longer hopping around bed bug infested hotels, so you took it. You had a small savings thanks to your bartending job and a few Off Broadway shows you managed to score parts in since you arrived in New York. 

Things were normal at first. Every morning you woke up and searched for new roles, begged Pablo, the casting advisor for the theater’s show to give you a script of that week’s shows so you could audition--to no avail-- and every night you went to sleep to the sound of whatever play they were performing that evening. And even though it was loud, and the orchestra’s music under the stage vibrated all the way up into your apartment, it was what you always dreamed of. 

“If I could just get an audition,” you said out loud before drifting off one night.

It wasn’t long after that when the script arrived at your doorstep. 

A knock at your door happened early in the morning. Well after everyone left from the previous night’s show but well before anyone was arriving for work the next day. Normally, you’d sleep through something as miniscule as a knock at your door, but this one woke you up. Not too light that it could have been mistaken for the apartment settling. Not too hard to scare the shit out of you. You heard it. The clock read 4:35 AM. The theater didn’t open for employees until 9am, and not to the public until 11am. Armed with this knowledge, you weren’t scared. Bravely, you stepped out of your bed, and padded your way to the door. You unlatched the chain, unlocked the bolt and turned the knob. A sound on the other side caused you to stop. Footsteps? Hurried ones, running softly away from your door. You took a deep breath, grabbed the umbrella you kept beside your door for protection, and swung it open. Your eyes took in nothing but darkness. For good measure, you swung your umbrella into the vacant space in front of you and when you were satisfied with the lack of bodies your umbrella hit, you chalked it up to the fact that you lived in an old theater that would likely make noises from time to time. You let out a sigh of relief, went to shut the door, but stopped when your eye caught the sight of a stack of white paper bound together, almost glowing in the darkness. Against your better judgement, you picked it up, took one last look outside your apartment and slammed your door making sure to secure the chain and lock the bolt. 

You decided you weren’t going to look at the strange stack of papers. You needed to get some sleep; you had a few hours before you had to be up for another series of audition tapes. You turned over in your bed, the papers on your nightstand staring at you, calling out to you. You slammed your eyes shut, forcing yourself to sleep and when it was evident sleep wasn’t coming to you for the rest of the night, you grabbed the papers eagerly. 

You opened the cover page and read it out loud. 

“Patron of Sorrow.”

You flipped the pages, feeling the paper glide across your thumb and realized it was a script. Then, as you kept going, multiple scripts. Seven in total with varying cheesy titles: Rise of Anguish, Unity of Darkness, Angels of Pain, Girls of Dawn, Chasing the Castle, and your favorite: Bakers Without Fear. You took a minute to skim through each script, laughing at how bad they actually were. Then it dawned on you. These were the scripts for next week’s plays you’d been asking Pablo for. These are the plays he writes weekly that the theater shows to people who want a little less Broadway and a little more well...Off Broadway. At the time, it didn’t matter. At the time, it meant you finally had access to the scripts you’d been begging for every morning. And it meant you could memorize them. Audition for them whether Pablo liked it or not. You were going to get a spot in one of his shitty plays.

You sent in your audition tapes, like usual, only this time you knew they sounded rushed and you knew you looked tired. You messed up four times on the dialogue for a film called Without Reason, saying the dialogue for Girls of Dawn instead. You gave up on that one, sent the rest and went back to Girls of Dawn, the first show of next week.

You read Girls of Dawn all day. You ran lines with yourself into the afternoon, and by the evening, you memorized every single line of the character that was, at this point, destined to be yours: Tinsley, a grungy 20 something obsessed with finding the vampire that killed her boyfriend, only to find out the vampire is her boyfriend. You flew down the steps leading into the theater. It was 10:45pm, the show for the night was wrapping up and Pablo was seated backstage, on his laptop, feverishly typing what you assumed was another script. 

“Pablo!” you yelled breathlessly. 

Pablo jumped, his laptop jostled against his knees, sliding off of them. He barely caught and gave you a death glare. 

You winced at his stare. 

“Sorry! Sorry! I just-”

“Damn it, y/n! You made me erase two paragraphs! Thank God for Ctrl+Z.” 

“I’m not sure what that means,” you admitted, “but I want to audition for Girls of Dawn!” 

Pablo slid his glasses down and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Y/n, I told you, I’m not accepting new actors.”

“But why!?” you whined. “Why? I’m good! I swear it won’t be a wa-”

“How could you even audition? You don’t have the script,” Pablo interrupted. 

You stood straighter, and a wave a nausea overtook you. Would he think you stole them if you told him? 

“I uh...I somehow...acquired them...?” You said, your voice going an octave higher at the end, sounding like a question. 

Pablo’s expression was unreadable. “So, you stole them,” he finally said. 

“What? No! No, I didn’t steal them. Whywouldyouthinkthat?” you said way too quickly, making yourself sound unnecessarily guilty.

He stared at you for too long. Waiting for a confession. When you didn’t give one, he slide his glasses back up his nose and went back to typing. 

“I’m not seeing your audition.” 

Your breathing was too fast and too heavy, and your heart was pounding fast out of anger. Somehow those scripts ended up on your doorstep and damn it he was going to see you audition! You began with your favorite scene. 

“I know you killed my boyfriend. I know it was you!” You said dramatically, though the shake of your voice and the tears welling in your eyes weren’t an act. 

Pablo sighed, closing his eyes in exhausted annoyance. His eyes slid back up to you. You waited. Normally, in an audition, someone else said the other characters lines. It was clear Pablo didn’t plan on doing this. So, you did. 

You brought your voice down low, to imitate a man’s and said, “I did it to protect you!” 

You brought your voice back to normal, “protect me from what?!” 

Down again. “From me!” 

“Why would I need-”

“-Enough!” Pablo yelled, interrupting you and causing your shoulders to jerk upright. “I told you I’m not holding auditions, y/n. You need to leave. Now. Or I’ll have no choice but to evict you.” 

You didn’t answer or give him a chance to say anything else. You ran back up the stairs, slamming your apartment door when you arrived. You threw the scripts onto the floor, not caring if a few of the pages ripped away from its seams. You fell onto your bed face down, crying into your pillow. You screamed into a few times, letting the stuffing and feathers take all of your anger. When you finally had enough, you turned your head to the side, and sat up straight. Someone had been in your apartment. On your nightstand, sat a black a rose with a black ribbon tied into a bow around the stem. Under it laid a note. Hesitantly, you took them both. The thorns had been clipped from the rose, like someone cared enough to make sure you wouldn’t get hurt when you touched it. You took the note out of the envelope, written on a small piece of cardstock you read the words written in beautiful scrawling handwriting: 

“He will curse the day he denied you.” 

Chills peppered your body. Someone watched your encounter with Pablo, saw him yell at you, wrote you a note with a rose, left it on your nightstand and somehow left before you came back? 

You leaned back against your headboard, flipping the note over in your hands, and saw a stamp. It was small and the ink was black and elegant. The stamp was of two letters: TC. 

Outside of your door, a soft thud sounded, followed by the same footsteps from this morning. You waited a minute before answering, but when you did you gasped. An entire bouquet of red roses with black ribbons tied around the stem, wrapped in black cellophane laid at your feet. 

Someone was watching you, that you were sure of. 

Tags: @imnotoverlyobsessive @dayafied @soulofendlessbook @fashphotolife @chicchanelcigs @scentedkittenperfection @weasleytwinscumslut @timotheel0ver @mxciscastleintheair @marvelmaniac2000 @lovelyrocker @divine-1 @louievr @love-poems-only @starberry-cake @inlovewithphantasy @alexagirlie @misswestfall @softhecreator @livresjaunes @timmymyluv @inannamoon @harrys-thick-thighs @s-we-e-t-t-ea @timolaurence @its-schmackin-dude @justagirlwhoneedshelp

[cacodaemonia]

I think I figured out why parts of the Dooku eps of Tales of the Jedi rubbed me the wrong way.

I had this written up already when I saw @sailorsol's reblog of this post. I considered just adding my rambling to a reblog of that, but my point kind of diverges and I didn't want to hijack the op.

Tbh, I agree with a lot of the things both sailorsol and @cosmic-herbal-tea said, and I think a lot of the episodes' interpretation is up to the viewer.

Anyway, that said, here are my completely unimportant thoughts:

The narrative in TotJ largely treats "the Jedi Council isn't perfect and has to work within the crappy governmental structure within which it's trapped" and "it's okay to commit genocide and start a totalitarian dictatorship because that will 'bring order to the Galaxy,'" in the same way that most US news media 'presents both sides of an issue.'

For example, a news channel might interview the two scientists on the planet who don't think climate change is caused by humans alongside two of the millions of scientists who know it is, and treat all four of them as if their opinions are equally valid.

Now obviously, as I and many others have said over and over, stories don't have to point at a Bad Thing and say, "This is a Bad Thing." However, I think the narrative of those TotJ eps really does try to treat Dooku's choices as reasonable when he is in fact doing objectively awful things and becoming a puppet of literally the most evil person in the Galaxy.

This is only a problem (and I say 'problem' like, a storytelling problem, because this is a fictional story and doesn't actually matter) in my eyes because the main Star Wars movies/shows have traditionally had a fairly black and white narrative of good guys versus bad guys. Yes, individual characters might be morally grey, but the stories as a whole don't leave much wiggle room for what is Good and what is Bad. Lucas has explicitly stated, over and over, that the Jedi were good people caught in trap they didn't even know existed. But when Filoni muddies the waters like this, he's sort of changing the fundamental way that the canon SW universe works, which imo is not great storytelling.

To return to the climate change analogy: giving climate deniers and anyone with a brain equal consideration allows bad actors to point and say, "see, it's okay to pump as much CO2 into the atmosphere as we want." Similarly, though obviously much less important, I think these weird narrative choices are only giving more fuel to the people who seem to think that the Jedi deserved what they got (imagine that: thinking genocide, even in a fictional setting, is ever justified in-universe...🤔) and that the Sith are... good?

A lot of the rules of a story are dependent on the way the fictional universe works, like how plot armor in SW is very different from plot armor in the first few seasons of GoT, but they both work within their universes. When you suddenly change those rules, though, like with lots of main characters in later GoT seasons surviving utterly ridiculous situations, it tends to break the immersion and confuse the narrative, which is what I think these TotJ Dooku eps do.

[coreancitizen]

2022 Year in Review: My Korean drama recommendations

2022 went by so quickly, and I think that's partly because almost every week I had new episodes of shows to look forward to. I'm a bit of a contradiction: I don't have the patience to wait for a new show to be completed so I could binge it, but I (maybe not-so) patiently wait for episodes every week, haha. TBH, I find I'm more invested in a show and its characters when I watch a drama weekly. And there were so many characters worth the investment in 2022: Woo Young Woo, Queen Im Hwa Ryeong, the Oh sisters, Kim Yumi, Jin Do Jun and Jang Uk, to name a few.

I just want to make clear that, as in previous years, this is by no means a list of the best Korean dramas of 2022. These are merely my favorites among the ones I watched that premiered in 2022 (or ended in 2022).

You can find my previous roundups here:

2021: Year in Review 2020: Year in Review

YUMI'S CELLS 2

New season means new love for Kim Yumi (Kim Go Eun) as she begins a romance with co-worker Yoo Babi following her breakup with video game designer Goo Woong. TBH, I wasn't quite sure how I'd feel about the new pairing — I have a soft spot for Ahn Bo Hyun — but Jinyoung charmed me even before the series started. He and Go Eun have a sweet and natural chemistry that made me root for Yumi and Babi, even knowing how the relationship ended in the webtoon. Another thing I love about the series is its portrayal of Yumi's pursuit of her dream to be a writer — from the frustrations of earlier rejections to keeping it positive while faced with criticisms and the satisfaction of another job (book) well done. That shot of her jumping on the bed toward the end of the series was cathartic and the perfect cap to Yumi's growth. (Viki)

LITTLE WOMEN

This is NOT Louisa May Alcott's famous novel though it does share some themes and puts sisters at the forefront of the story. The Oh sisters — In Joo, In Kyung and In Hye — just want to live a life not steeped in poverty. So when 2 billion won falls on In Joo's lap, their problems are over, right? Nope. A multitude of troubles arrive as the sisters get entangled with a rich, powerful and corrupt family with a lot of unscrupulous allies. This series got me on the edge of my seat from the very first episode and the thrills and tension never let up until the end. I absolutely love how messy and chaotic the sisters and their relationships with each other are. They love but they also fight, annoy and block each other, LOL! Now please cast Kim Go Eun and Wi Ha Joon in an action comedy series or film and give them the ending on the sunny beaches of Greece that their characters deserve. (Netflix)

BULGASAL: IMMORTAL SOULS

This is the first drama that caught my attention last year, a fantasy with monsters, past lives, immortal love and families. It's the story of how the lives of a man (Lee Jin Wook) who was turned into an immortal monster 600 years ago and a woman (Kwon Na Ra) who has been dying and reincarnating for centuries have been intertwined. The world building is quite interesting and the central mystery keeps you guessing until the very end. Keep an eye out for familiar faces as people from the past emerge in the present. (Netflix)

A BUSINESS PROPOSAL

This romcom is adorable with a capital A. Shin Ha Ri (Kim Se Jeong) shows up to a blind date pretending to be her best friend and does her best to turn off a potential match by behaving outrageously. It's a schtick she and her chaebol best friend had cooked up a long time ago to discourage suitors. Unfortunately, the blind date turns out to be Kang Tae Moo (Ahn Hyo Seop), the young president of the food company where she works. And even more unfortunately, he's interested and now wants to marry her! Hilarious chaos ensues, abetted by the couple's adorable best friends (the second couple), her zany family and his kdrama-loving grandfather. You'll never look at an archaeopteryx (bird-like dinosaur) the same way again. (Netflix)

TOMORROW

This is a lovely, heartbreaking, oftentimes cathartic drama about people desperate enough to consider taking their own lives and the team of resolute grim reapers who work very hard to prevent their deaths. Comatose Choi Jun Woong (Rowoon) is the newbie in the Risk/Crisis Management Team led by Koo Ryeon (Kim Hee Sun). Lim Ryung Gyu rounds up the team. Head of the Soul Collection Team Park Joong Gil, despite being a fellow grim reaper, is a thorn on the team's side — he has a special animosity for Ryeon that may have something to do with the past. Fortunately, the team has a stalwart supporter in the Jade Emperor (Kim Hae Sook). (Netflix)

MILITARY PROSECUTOR DOBERMAN

Legal action drama with a touch of comedy is probably the best way to describe this series and it's the perfect leading man vehicle for Ahn Bo Hyun. Do Bae Man passes the bar with basically just a GED and so finds himself unable to find a spot in a decent law firm until he gets an "offer he can't refuse" from corrupt lawyer Yong Moon Go: Serve in the military for five years as a prosecutor and then join his prestigious firm after. The plan is going swimmingly until he crosses paths with another military prosecutor, Cha Woo In (Jo Bo Ah), who is targeting some members of the military brass for revenge after her beloved father's suspicious death. After long-buried secrets begin to emerge, Do Bae Man finds himself reevaluating what it is he really wants to do with his life. (Viki)

EXTRAORDINARY ATTORNEY WOO

Woo to the Young to the Woo! The series follows Woo Young Woo, a young lawyer on the autism spectrum. She's got a brilliant legal mind, able to see different angles of a case but struggles with day-to-day interactions. Fortunately, she has the people looking out for her, like her dad, her boss/mentor, her law school friend and, of course, the handsome support team member who might just have more than friendship in mind. Park Eun Bin is brilliant as Woo Young Woo, she truly gets you invested in her challenges and triumphs. The legal maneuverings are fairly interesting, especially when they involve a rival law firm and somebody from WYW's past. (Netflix)

ALCHEMY OF SOULS

In the land of Daeho, an assassin trapped in a blind woman's weak body encounters a young lord from a powerful family who needs help to unlock his powers. Interesting lead and supporting characters, solid world-building, fantastic sword and sorcery action? I was sold from the very beginning. At the end of the second ep, I was absolutely in love with the feisty Mudeok and her rather bratty young master/pupil Jang Uk who just wants his gate of energy opened so he can do what everybody can — cast spells and use a sword. There's a twist at the end of the 20-episode first season, and I guess your enjoyment of the second season would largely depend on how much you accept the change. But in both seasons, the crown prince remains quite the scene stealer and he's possibly my most favorite character of all. (Netflix)

UNDER THE QUEEN'S UMBRELLA

A truly female-driven drama — from the queen and the queen dowager down to the concubines and, yes, even the court ladies. The series begins with Queen Hwa Ryeong's biggest problem being the four grand princes' rather relaxed approach to their education, lagging behind the other sons of the king via his numerous scheming concubines. But tragedy strikes and the queen and her sons suddenly find themselves fighting to make sure they don't lose not just their positions but their very lives. Kim Hye Soo makes it so easy to root for the embattled queen who wields her position and her eyebrows skillfully to thwart ministers, concubines and her mother-in-law, the queen dowager. I also love that her sons, the four grand princes, are unlike other royal brothers in sageuks — they are close, affectionate and loyal, leaving the dirty tricks to their half-brothers. This series probably has the most satisfying ending among the ones I watched last year. (Netflix)

REBORN RICH

Yoon Hyun Woo is a hard-working, loyal, no-questions-asked employee of the powerful Jin Family, which controls the Soonyang Group. One day, on an overseas errand to retrieve some secret money, he is betrayed by someone in the family and murdered — but promptly finds himself "waking up" in the body of the youngest grandson of the Jins, back in 1987. How, you ask? I finished the series but that part is still unclear. What's clear is how charismatic and believable Song Joong Ki is as the twentysomething investment whiz Do Jun. And what an amazing actor Lee Sung Min, as Soonyang chairman and patriarch Jin Yang Cheol is. The push-pull in their relationship is what made the series work for 15 episodes. Not that the supporting cast members are slackers. This is one of the best ensembles I've ever seen, the actors really working to make these characters ones you'd love to hate. Some of the business stuff might put off viewers but I found the whole thing fascinating and easily understood. I cheered when Do Jun/Hyun Woo used his knowledge of the future as well as his relatives' greed to take pieces of Soonyang. I'm recommending this series but with a caveat: I found the ending a bit of a mess and rather unsatisfactory. BUT the previous 15 episodes are fantastic and definitely worth a watch. (Viki)

Bonus recommendations

I recently started dipping my toes into Chinese dramas, even though I'm still intimidated by the episode count. "Love Between Fairy and Devil" is sweet and hilarious and has fantastic special effects. (Netflix and Viki)

But my heart truly belongs to Li Wei and the sixth young prince of Xin State as they figure out family, politics and love as their "New Life Begins." (Viki)

Last but certainly not the least, "Pachinko," which even though it stars some of the biggest names in Korean entertainment is not considered K-Drama by its creators. Based on Min Jin Lee's critically acclaimed novel, the series — Youn Yuh Jung, Lee Min Ho and Kim Min Ha are key parts of the ensemble — follows the trial and tribulations of a Korean family over four generations. The story begins in Korea, moves to Japan and eventually spreads to the United States. The story is rich and emotional, the direction precise and the acting superb. It has been recognized in a lot of year-end lists and recently won the Critics Choice Award for best foreign language series. (Apple TV +)

[jeongyunhoed]

As seen on my FF.net Also seen on my Ao3

Following the events of fifth year, a new adventure awaits for Norah Lee. Boys, exams, school events, common room parties, and old foes outside of Hogwarts. Even battling pensieve guardians was easier than this.

Main Pair: OC/? Genre: Adventure/Angst/Fluff (it's a little of everything, tbh)

KEEP IN MIND: Characters are aged up (even if the story's got them in sixth year) to make it more appropriate. Time period is leaning towards the modern day so in case you might find anachronisms in the dialogue or references, this is why. This may also be quite a lengthy fic too.

BE WARNED: Social anxiety, mentions of blood and injury, grief, drinking, kissing but nothing more than that, death (this is Hogwarts Legacy, after all)

P.P.S: I forgot Norah and Ominis kind of matched outfits. That will be something to talk about over time, hehe. But partying ahead! There are several Gryffindor party audios on Youtube that you can listen to (Youtube user Christine has the most immersive ones, with actual speaking audio).

The song by the way is Hard to Beat by Hard-Fi. I know, very 2000s. haha.

Masterlist

Chapter 11

Their linked arms didn't stay linked for long as they made their way to Gryffindor tower, just past the faculty tower. It seemed like most of the sixth years had partnered up for the party following Professor Ronen's assignment. Making new friends, possibly a date to the Yule Ball that was still a few months away. Norah and Ominis looked around for a sign of Sebastian, who was already waiting for them near the Fat Lady portrait.

Clad in jeans and a black tee under a green bomber jacket, Sebastian also fixed his hair similar to Ominis, with one lock falling just a little over his forehead. The three of them seemed to have coordinating outfits. Then again, it seemed like many students dressed in shades of their house colors. Unlike Ominis, Sebastian seemed to be aware that he was seen as one of, if not the most handsome Slytherins in the school.

"Looking good, looking good," Sebastian gave them a thumbs up as they approached him. "Natty told me the password in advance. I saw Amit and Samantha already enter with them."

"You look handsome yourself," Norah smiled. "I would've thought Cressida was going to meet you here."

The freckled brunette rolled his eyes at her teasing, while Ominis chuckled. "Very funny, you-" He stopped himself. You beautiful creature, you amazing human, maybe love of my life, he thought. Sebastian cleared his throat. "Well then, shall we revel in the festivities?" He grinned.

The trio approached the painting, with Sebastian already saying the password. Loud music greeted them as they crawled inside the portrait hole. Everyone around them was already enjoying themselves, as if a live band was performing all throughout the common room. There were barrels of butterbeer flowing in cups being passed around to everyone while sweets and pastries from Honeydukes were on the table, along with other savory fare taken from the kitchens.

Norah looked around, spotting Nellie crawling on top of the fireplace mantel, much to the cheers of some of the partygoers. To her surprise, several other Gryffindors were holding drinking games in one corner, as someone smuggled in some firewhisky. "It sounds like everyone's having so much fun!" Ominis tried to tell her.

"Yeah! We should have fun too!" She looked at her two friends, who were beginning to nod along to the music that was playing.

I've seen you darling, seen you hanging round town You in a short skirt, shining eyes of deep brown You had a dirty look, you caught me on your hook Turn up the thermostat, I want to see you sweat Oh yeah, girl you got, somethin' I like

Norah spotted Garreth, who was already introducing his new brew, fizzing whizz-beers, which seemed to be a success. At least it seemed like a success from seeing how many people have been drinking it. "Let's go get some of Garreth's new brew!" She told them.

"Is that even safe?" Sebastian grinned, waving at Garreth, who was also waving them to come over. "He hasn't created a mess yet, hasn't he?"

"Are we drinking?" Ominis suddenly asked.

"Yeah, come on, Ominis, it's only for tonight," Norah tried to convince him. "Everyone seems to like it"

With some reluctance, Ominis let himself be led by Norah and Sebastian over to Garreth, who immediately conjured some cups to fill with his new drink. "Just got here?" He asked.

"Yeah, a few minutes ago, actually!" Norah said near his ear, while he passed the drinks to them. "You seem to have succeeded in your new brew, huh?"

Garreth looked proud. "Yeah! Drink as much as you like, there's going to be plenty more in the months to come~" He declared.

The three of them took sips of the drink, with Norah raising a brow at the taste. She turned to Garreth. "This just tastes like butterbeer mixed with firewhisky and some really strong ale," She said.

The freckly redhead laughed. "Because it is!"

Norah, Sebastian, and Ominis gaped, looking around at how tipsy some had already gotten, perhaps after downing several already since the party started. Realizing how good the drink tasted, they took another long drink. Garreth was more than happy to refill their cups, cheering in between, when a Gryffindor seventh year stood up on one of the tables and loudly sang the song.

I walked right over, said, 'Hi how ya doin?' You smiled at me and girl, you tore right through me I said, come on let's dnce, we've got to take our chance You whispered in my ear, you wanna get out of here

The crowds of students were singing along to the song, which Norah enjoyed watching as the party went on. "We should find Natty, Poppy, and Amit, shouldn't we?" She turned to them again, after another drink.

Can you feel it? Rockin' the city Ah yeah, straight out of nowhere-ness Like a fist, can't resist you, oh no, I tell you somethin'

"This drink isn't so bad after all, I have to give you credit, Weasley," Ominis took another drink before Garreth refilled his cup. "All the explosions and messes in Sharp's class ended up for something good."

Garreth looked proud, but there was a glint in his eye that made Norah think he was being mischievous. After all, they were still inside Hogwarts. "I hope you've got some pepper-up potion on hand, Garreth, some of these people might wake up with a hangover tomorrow"

"I've got that sorted out, it's brewing upstairs. Just have fun, you three, enjoy the first of four house parties this year, Merlin knows we need it," Garreth assured her, seeing Ominis ask for yet another refill, claiming that despite what it was made of, he didn't feel a thing. Sebastian was also leaning toward the same way.

You know I love ya, just wanna touch ya Stand up, knock me right off my feet Hard to beat, hard to beat, hard to beat

The music seemed to hit a crescendo, making everyone cheer and sing along, dancing in their spots. Soon enough, the resident Gryffindor prefects along with some seventh years, moved the chairs and couches to the side. They were clearing the way for people to dance in the middle. Norah downed her drink before asking Garreth for another.

While she was in a good mood earlier, it had only occurred to Norah that maybe she needed a bit of a break. Everyone else was certainly letting off some steam by drinking, eating, and dancing tonight. Even Grace Pinch Smedley, who seemed to be the most composed among their fellow Slytherins, was already dancing with some Ravenclaws and Gryffindors. Looking almost unrecognizable with the way she styled her hair and her party outfit, Grace was definitely letting go of her inhibitions to have fun.

Nellie, who was earlier drinking while standing on the mantel, had begun dancing on top, to louder cheers from the crowd gathered around her. Among those was Leander, whose cheeks were already red because of Garreth's drink. Feeling like it was safe, Norah got another refill.

Let's spend the night, spend the night together Heart beating so fast, as you take my shirt off This girl I saw round town, well now she's going down Stuck on a losing streak, I think you've turned it round Oh yeah, girl you've got, something I like

"Care to dance, anyone?" Norah asked, even glancing at Garreth. "I love this song"

Ominis hesitated, willing himself to slow down on the drinks. "Not really sure dancing is my style," Sebastian replied with some reluctance.

"Dance? I think I've got two left feet," Ominis replied.

Read all about it, have you heard the latest? Boy in a band dates a Hollywood actress But baby you and me, we came up from the street No time to hesitate, we've got to push our weight

"Suit yourselves, I will," Norah grinned, gesturing Garreth to come with her. The redhead almost immediately left his spot by the barrel to join her. Even if Garreth's dancing could be described as similar to that of an old person, he was fun, even mouthing the words along with Norah, the two of them laughing at how silly they're being.

Can you feel it? Rocking the city Ah yeah, straight out of nowhere-ness Like a fist, can't resist you, oh no, I tell you somethin'

The music, the drinks, the atmosphere, Norah felt like she could get lost in all of it. It was so supremely happy and energetic. Or it might have been the drinks that was making her feel and think that way. She was having so much fun dancing with Garreth, the two of them singing along as if to each other.

"I knew that would put a smile on your face," Garreth whispered near her ear, the two of them went back into dancing as silly as they could get. "Take it easy on the drinks, wouldn't want the Hogwarts heroine to get piss drunk, after all"

Norah laughed. "Don't worry, Garreth, enjoying myself tonight is all I'm thinking about."

"Good, you've earned it" Garreth assured her. "I'm glad you're having fun so far. It's your first Hogwarts house party."

"Yeah, it's so much fun! I mean, I expected this from Gryffindors," Norah teased. "I told Leander the same thing the other day."

Garreth looked proud. "It'll only be even more fun from now on. Hufflepuff's hosting the next one. Here's a tip, make sure to come in hungry. They've got the best food."

"I figured," Norah nodded.

You know I love ya, I just wanna touch ya Stand up, knock me right off my feet Hard to beat, hard to beat, hard to beat

"Hey!" Natty and Henry soon appeared to Sebastian and Ominis. Both of them were also holding their drinks. "It's so much fun, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Sebastian nodded. "You can't tell but I'm absolutely enjoying myself. After those NEWT lessons and homework, I think we deserve this."

"Hear hear," Henry raised his cup, making Sebastian clink with his in a toast. "I heard about the bet as to who Norah's summoner is, by the way. Did she say anything?"

That seemed to make Ominis stand up straight, letting out a hiccup. "Did you join in the bet?" He asked.

Henry chuckled. "No, not really. But some of my friends certainly did. Their cornish pasties are on you, Gaunt," He glanced at the blonde, who looked surprised. Sebastian seemed to be just as surprised at the mention of the bet. "Those who bet on Sebastian over here have had to fetch some from Hogsmeade now that they know they've lost."

"Norah hasn't said anything about who summoned her name yet, but I think she already knows who it is," Natty said, clinking her cup with Henry's as they took a drink. "Based on the letters she got from him, the one who summoned her must be absolutely mad for her."

"Got it down bad, has he?" Sebastian muttered, looking down at his drink, trying his hardest not to feel or look annoyed by what Natty and Henry were saying. "Well, maybe Garreth's the one who summoned her, since she's dancing with him right now."

"Weasley, eh?" Ominis muttered, following another hiccup.

Goodness No, I've never known a night like this, can't believe it You're so hard to beat, hard to beat

The song that was playing slowed down for a moment, and Norah and Garreth stopped. "So Garreth, who summoned you? Or...who did you summon?" She asked curiously. Even if she knew Ominis was the one who summoned her name, she wondered about the redhead standing in front of her.

"Well-" Garreth sputtered, a little flustered at the question. "If it's alright, I'd rather not say."

"Alright, I won't press for more details, but it does seem like you planned to summon someone but couldn't, hmm?" Norah raised a brow. Before Garreth had the chance to speak, the music went up again, the dancing even more upbeat. "Then don't think about that for now, let's just dance!"

"I couldn't agree more!"

Drive me crazy, my beautiful baby Let's spend the whole day right here together

He wasn't sure if it was the drink he made everyone, including himself, take as they enjoyed the festivities, but Garreth was feeling bold. His mother would always call alcoholic drinks like that liquid courage, a legal version of Felix Felicis. Garreth took another step closer, the two of them dancing in sync while mouthing the words to the song.

"Norah," He said near her ear. "How'd you like to come to Hogsmeade with me sometime? We can go to Madam Puddikin's if you want."

She leaned back a little. "Are you asking me out, Weasley?" She teased.

"Maybe, I just want to make sure," He replied, a small smirk forming on his lips. "But we can also go as friends, though. Maybe check out the brew I've been making in Honeydukes."

"Oh?...You like me, Garreth?" Norah stared at him. "Why?"

"Because you're cool, and I don't mean this because you're the Hogwarts heroine and all," Garreth quickly explained, his cheeks hot. "I mean-I-I just, I just think you're great."

Norah glanced at her friends, who were standing at the side, watching them with pleased expressions, including Ominis. Henry also looked at the two of them with an approving look. "You think I'm great?"

"Yeah, who wouldn't be?" Garreth said, the confidence in his voice getting replaced with a slight nervousness. "So, Hogsmeade sometime?"

She chuckled, finding the sudden shyness endearing. Her heart was suddenly pounding, not expecting that Garreth would think of asking her out. She suddenly wasn't sure how she felt about Garreth. He had a talent for inadvertently getting into trouble, but always had good intentions. There were times in Potions that she wondered how his mind worked, with all his ideas for concoctions that for half the time, ended up making a mess.

Still, Garreth was one of the most-liked students in their year, perhaps the one that balanced out Leander's uptight nature and Nellie's rather thrill-seeking personality. Their dynamic just reminded Norah of hers with Sebastian and Ominis, and she found it amusing.

"Not sure you can handle me, though," Norah teased. "Perhaps we can hang out at Hogsmeade. Butterbeers at Three Broomsticks, maybe a visit to Zonko's?"

There was something in what Norah said that made the redhead curious. "I know about those rumors of what you've done in fifth-year. Honestly, I regret not asking to tag along if it was that eventful."

She laughed. "Spiders, acromantulas, poachers, loyalists, trolls, dugbogs, and everything that's out to kill people in between. You've got to channel Gryffindor's courage in all of those."

"I would've if you brought me along," Garreth pointed out with a grin. "That would've provided the perfect opportunity for me to test out my brews."

You know I love ya, I just wanna touch ya Stand up, knock me right off my feet Hard to beat, hard to beat, hard to beat Oh yeah, girl you've got, something I like Oh yeah, girl you've got, something I like

"Is Norah still dancing with Garreth?" Ominis suddenly asked.

"Yeah, she seems to be having a good time," Sebastian replied, helping himself to another refill. He was starting to feel the drink's effects, but if he wanted to let loose for a little bit, another round wouldn't hurt, right? At least that's what he thought, while partly drying to drown out the growing feeling of jealousy from seeing Norah continue to enjoy Garreth's company.

Looking around, it seemed like Andrew and Poppy were still deep in conversation, their faces getting closer the more they talked. Sebastian immediately averted his gaze, knowing that Andrew and Poppy were bound to be an item soon.

"Did you summon anyone?" Ominis nudged him, transfiguring the drink into water for him to drink. "Or did your name get summoned?"

The question made Sebastian frown. "Yeah, Cressida Blume summoned my name, and she said it was accidental."

"You're lucky then. I heard Blume is good with non-verbal spells."

"Yeah, we nearly got caught up in Horklump Hollow earlier," Sebastian muttered, making the blonde whip his head toward his friend. "Norah was following a lead on Harlow in Upper Hogsfield."

"You were in Upper Hogsfield too?" Ominis sounded annoyed.

Sebastian hummed. "Yeah, I was to meet Cressida there since there was a shop she was going to. Poppy was there too, and we caught Norah trying to approach the poacher-filled cave. We followed her and went inside to spy on them."

"Oh," Ominis muttered.

Given his friend's tipsy state, Sebastian had an idea. "You wouldn't tell them who you summoned, or who summoned you. Who is it?"

Ominis slowly tilted his head toward the two people dancing nearby. "I can't tell you just yet, but I will say it was quite difficult to write a good poem, or think of a good riddle-" He stopped, realizing what he said.

But Sebastian immediately figured it out. "You're the one who summoned Norah? But when could you have done that?"

"When you were still asleep, or still in the Great Hall, I took the chance after hours," Ominis replied. "When no one was around in the grounds."

Sebastian glanced at her, laughing as she kept dancing with Garreth. "Accidentally too?"

Ominis shook his head. "No, I summoned her name, even before Prewett or Weasley could."

He wanted to laugh but somehow he couldn't. If Sebastian wasn't already jealous of Garreth for dancing so easily with Norah, he couldn't help but also feel jealous of Ominis for doing what he did. It seemed silly to even be jealous of Ominis. He was his most trusted friend. Yet, he wondered: Did Ominis like Norah too?

[reginrokkr]

Eventually I cheated and opted for playing one SQ first, namely Wriothesley's (shame on me for not having it played sooner tbh) and I have to say that it was sublime.

✦ As always I adore Wrio's brilliant mind and his no chill attitude despite being actually cautious most of the time to set an example for the others in the Fortress. Sadly I don't have much more to say about this but it's self-explanatory enough and I reaffirm what I said some time ago that he's hands down one of my favorite characters of the entire cast of Genshin thus far.

✧ I love that each time the script of the stories is getting darker and that it masks better this Traveler harem syndrome that I abhor. Putting the latter aside, I loved the level of detail of how sickeningly manipulative Dougier is and how everything played out keeping me on my toes at all times.

✦ As it is customary to this blog, that black stone caught my attention and so did the thorn method and the Aqua Doloris. I might write a more thorough addendum or headcanon about this in the future once I have ruminated more on this concept. What I'm going to say is that I have no doubts that its substance stems from the Abyss as it is well-established by now that it heightens negative feelings and fear is one such feeling. The fact that it actually awakens bad memories give me some food for thinking, but it also makes me wonder something: if someone were to have a certain degree of expertise to isolate whatever negative feeling and the means to reach to it into a substance and be able to implant it into other people's brains, it could be other things that aren't solely fear. And things that aren't entirely negative in the eyes of others. If you haven't guessed where I'm going with this yet, I'll give you a small hint: Khaenri'ah.

✧ Lastly (but not least), what I've been awaiting for the whole quest to learn as I have already read bits and pieces about this before and been talked to about this: children trading in black market and Wriothesley's experience as both a victim and executioner of two despicable adults partaking into this. In a way it is nothing new to me as I still remember that the webtoon, placed just a few years before the beginning of Genshin's story (further back in time too if we count the flashbacks, but that isn't relevant to this), already mentioned that the Fatui are actively seeking kids to take to Snezhnaya and most likely be dumped into the House of Hearth and pretty much cultivate them to become Fatui.

I particularly like the placement of this shred of light about his own personal story, as going through everything else that was happening in the Fortress only to culminate into learning about that gives more sense to what exactly drove Wriothesley to take the actions he took and to act the way he did with Dougier (the mfer deserved even more, but it's a good thing that Wrio has plans and freedom to make the most of his punishments).

Now, as a more portrayal-oriented thing and how Dain would view this... it is very rare to find characters that in one way or another he can see himself reflected on to some degree, but I can say positively that Wriothesley just joined the small gang. As for what Dain would see himself reflected exactly, that is Wrio's drive to fight for others' freedom. Just as he did for his "family" back then, and just as he did for the Fortress of Meropide in his particular SQ and will continue to do in order to ensure that his new family has a chance for rebirth. Dain would find great respect in this, as someone who is on the same boat himself no matter if in a greater scale, in his pursuit for humanity's freedom from the looming danger the Abyss Order will suppose for them as part of their revenge and obsessions, but also freedom from the ugly schemes of the higher gods above the Archons that still remain unknown, but looking into the Vision's workings alone there is something highly suspicious to me that I can't shake off.

[foggyparadisecandy]

[TW: dark shit ahead]

Ok - another venting post - disregard - go read one of my horny hypno stories or a trance instead lol

Click here for trances

We all have our stories to tell. I don't think mine is horrible tbh but ... that's probably because I survived it and learned to minimalize it - like all survivors do.

"It's ok" "It's fine" "I'm ok" "Oh it wasn't that bad"

My therapist has assured me none of those things are true lol

My child mind couldn't process it and so I just learned patterns and behaviors to accept it in as my reality.

I had a loving healthy family up until I was 8 years old.

My mom had a horrible life-altering health scare - was taken away to the hospital by paramedics in the middle of the night - one of my last few memories from my childhood. My dad stood sobbing - the last time I saw an emotion from him that wasn't anger.

My younger bro and I were shuttled between relatives for a period of time - no idea how long - weeks? months? no clue

We were taken in to the hospital to see my mom at some point - banged up - shaved head - looking creepy as hell to our young eyes.

And ... this was horrific to me ... she told us - I'm sure it was based in kindness to prepare us - that she was given a year to live.

Well ... good news ... she lived a lot longer than that.

Bad news is she was horribly damaged from the brain injury and subsequent trauma of the life-altering experience. To compound things, my dad turned to drinking heavily and escaping us all in the bottom of a bottle.

I never again felt my father's love.

And my mom was mixed at best. Up and down. I would say somewhere along the lines she developed bipolar disorder - manic and depressive.

She would love us obsessively. She would threaten to kill us. I was always the one who had to walk her off the ledge - telling her I'm sorry we were bad kids. Telling her I'm sorry we upset her. Telling her we would be good from now on. Telling her we wanted to live.

She would bend over backwards to make us feel good. She would threaten to burn the house down while we were sleeping. Well ... how the fuck do you sleep well at night with that information? Gee mom ... that sounds awful. Will you please not do that? I slept with one eye open until finally I just accepted it - I could die at any moment because my mom was a nut.

She taught me to shoplift. When I got caught, she threw me under the bus and told the security guard that I was a problem child. HAHAHA ... I was a goody two shoes child. Having my mother tell a stranger I was a problem was quite a thing to hear. She apologized after and told me to never shoplift again. Fuck that. I kept stealing shit until I was in my late teens. I WANTED TO GET CAUGHT AND PUNISHED.

So yeah ... I know other people have had it hard. And honestly ... I really never felt it was challenging. I just learned to feel bad and anxious all the time. I learned that I was never good enough and things were always uncertain. Loved ones hurt you.

I know a lot of people who have learned that lesson in different ways.

I can identify hurt people instinctively. I gravitate to them. I've always been attracted to them.

Especially hurt women. I want to nurture them, comfort them, love them, care for them, help them, fix them, support them - just like I learned to do with my fucked up mom. It's no wonder my parting with my lovely pet was so difficult.

And I learned to not express emotions. I learned to be the stoic one. The problem solver. But ... I'm not really stoic at all. I love with a burning intensity - desperate to care and take care of others - especially hurt women. I invest my emotional well-being in this activity.

I don't love ALL women. But if I love you, I FUCKING LOVE YOU. And I know that's a blend between nice and awful tbh. I can drown people in love. Uncharitable sorts might say I love bomb people but I don't do it with ill intentions. I do it because it's my damage. And it's unhealthy for me.

Ugh.

Knowing these things is only partially helpful. I need to address them, sort them, heal them as best as I can, identify when I fall into unhealthy patterns, and ... grow ... somehow.

Whatever. This is why I'm seeing a therapist. To sort through all this horrible horrible horrible shit.

I need to do it. I'm motivated to do it. I'm sick of being insecure and depressed all the time. With the darkness always at the corner of my mind telling me I'm a piece of shit no matter how much love I try to put out in the world. No matter how much I achieve.

Fuck. Parents fucking suck.

It took me decades to be ok with not loving my dad - feeling obligated to love that mother fucker. He abandoned us to alcohol. He fucking gave up on us because he was a coward and afraid to face the challenges we had. WE NEEDED THAT FUCKER AND HE RAN!

FUCK. No wonder I have abandonment issues. My ex KNEW THIS SHIT. God was she so awful in the end. She had her own shit she was dealing with. I forgive her 100% but it was still so fucking cruel of her.

Ah well. Working on it.

[true-autistic-tales]

lovesickness, chapter 2 "the party"

"the chin-up" |</3

lovesickness is an au/fanfic made by me and has my experiences of being lithromantic and transgender but mostly lithromantic with some mommy issues as well tbh

warnings for this chapter: underage drinking, intimacy 👀

also keep in mind that new chapters will release extremely infrequent and that i am a beginner writer, thank you

the story under the cut

9:50pm, only a few minutes until the party. axl stood up in his room, looking over to his little brother, sleeping peacefully. a smiled was placed on axl's face but quickly removed as he walked over to the window and opened it, sean waiting for him outside. before he hopped out the window, he glanced at brick again and quietly wished; "you and sue deserve better."

axl walked up to sean, sean grinning at him. "you ready?"

"i guess i am"

near the entrance to the house party, cars and other teenagers littering outside. now that axl actually thought about it, he had no idea who was hosting the party but they did seem flirty in the invite text. axl, sean and darrin walked into the house to be greeted with more teenagers and stereotypical red plastic cups everywhere. axl suddenly felt anxious, wanting to stay in a corner with what felt like his only friends for the rest of the night, but something instantly caught his eye. an attractive tall african american boy siting on a couch, he was drinking something out of a plastic cup and was staring at axl. axl felt uncomfortable being so fondly stared at, thankfully sean noticed and nudged him, signaling that their group would be going into a different room.

they made their way to a different room which was the kitchen and somehow more messy than the livingroom but instead of plastic cups thrown everywhere it was empty glass alcohol bottles. sean frowned, even though he was an adolescent teen, he still hated alcohol and such of the like. darrin had other ideas; "this party ain't too bad." he tried lightening up the disappointed group, raiding the cupboards for food. "you think there's gonna be some pretty girls here?"

"yeah, probably," sean began smiling to him. "there's a lot of people here." sean turned to axl, suggesting that they should go off with some girls for the night, axl chuckled at him.

"who the fuck is going through my cupboards again?!" the attractive boy came into the kitchen angrily until he realized axl was there. "oh hi, sorry for staring so much at you, you're just so hot." he apologized and placed his hand out which axl accepted until the boy said the last part of his sentence. "im hutch, well, my actual name is charles but everybody calls me hutch." hutch beamed at him, staring at him again. "i don't think ive met you before, what's your name?"

"oh, um, axl- axl heck." axl awkwardly answered hutch, hoping sean would get him out of this like he did before. hutch lovingly smiled at him; "welcome to the party, axl!"

"thank you, dude." axl could practically see hutch's thoughts about him, he sorta liked it in a way.

"ahem! other people in the room too?" sean made a loud coughing noise to get hutch's and axl's attention toward him and darrin.

"oh, right, sorry fellas." hutch faced them, trying to be as polite as possible. "you would like a drink?"

"no thanks, im not into alcohol." sean declined, shaking his head with darrin, if they were caught drunk, they would be killed by their families, metaphorically speaking.

"axl?" he slided to the socially awkward teen, rising an eyebrow jokingly.

"i don't have a lot to lose, sure." axl stated, shrugging his shoulders. unlike his firends, he didn't care about what people thought of him anymore, or that's what he liked it think about himself. he knew he would get into deep shit and he secretly wanted it. hutch handed him a plastic cup with the alcohol and he chugged the whole thing before dropping and stomping it on the floor to everyone's amazement. axl felt a quick rush through his body then an instant warm low, he made a involuntary "ahhuck!" noise from the feeling and taste. "another." he command, hutch chuckled and bit his lip while sean and darrin began to worry.

"remember to go easy with the drinks, buddy." sean warned axl but he didn't take, he just wanted the feelings to go away. he hated those feelings and those memories of his parents hating him, he wanted to forget, please let him forget.

everything was getting blurry, axl had forgotten how many drinks he had but he knew that he somehow made it to hutch's bedroom,they were cuddling and axl's favorite song was softly playing somewhere in hutch's room. "do you know how fucking gorgeous you are?" hutch stroke axl's cheek, giggling a bit. he didn't know how to feel anymore, the alcohol did its work. he finally didn't worry about frankie and mike for this moment but he should have guessed what hutch had plans to do. hutch held axl's face and looking longingly into his eyes, after a while hutch lightly kissed axl on his lips. axl pulled in closer, holding hutch's hips. axl loved this, he loved disobeying his parents. he knew that identifying as a boy then playing with another boy would make his parents unbelievably pissed, and he loved it but still something in his head was screaming; "either get me off or get off me now!" axl didn't want to listen to that voice, he wanted to live. the boys chuckled as they rolled over each other, making out on hutch's bed. axl was finally free for the night and damn he was going to enjoy all of it even if he got that feeling, that feeling undescribable of disgust but he pushed on. and on. "i love you, ax." and on.

"i love you, charles." and on.

[starlightyellow]

Starlight's Weekly Finds 3/20-3/27

Hi! My name is Starlight and I want to push myself more to post more of what I like on my account, so what better way to do that then to throw all my niche interests in a post to encourage others to talk about them too! This newsletter will consists of a read, a music wrap, and a movie of the week. As this goes, I'll add more or less depending. thanks for tuning in this week and I hope you come back for the next.

Read of The Month

This week I'd finally gotten around to getting a digital library card from @queerliblib ! The Queer Liberation Library is a free digital library the is entirely comprised of books created by LGBT+ BIPOC authors. They have such a ride variety of audiobooks and scanned copies that I feel there's something for everyone. To apply for a library card is free, however please be mindful it may be a bit of a wait for your library card depending on when you apply. I was lucky and received mine within like a few days of applying. All info to learn more and to apply will be on the @queerliblib socials.

I'm currently reading Between Perfect and Real by Ray Stoeve. It follows a trans guy named Dean who is recently cast as a major male lead in a school play. The story follows how Dean navigates his transition while also juggling graduating school and making it to an acting school in New York. I'm about halfway through and I highly recommend.

Music Wrap of the Week.

Okay so this section alone will probably turn into it's own individual post at some point considering I finally am getting into KPOP. I'm focusing on girl groups right now and I've listened to ALOT this week. Here's only a few of my favorites from the week.

QWER: Secret Diary

Okay, I give. This first song is technically a band as opposed to a girl group. However, their music is so good I have to let it slide. Debuting on October 18 2023, QWER is a South Korean girl band consisting of 4 members(shown below). QWER is such an interesting Kpop group to me with the members pulling inspo and influence from American bands like Slipknot and Red Hot Chilli Peppers. They bring something a little different that I really love.

Pictured left to right: Magenta(24), Hina(23), Chodan(25), and Siyeon(23).

XG: Winter Without You

The next on the list came as a pleasent surprise, because I didn't know I had heard a song from them before. You may know this 7 member group from their song Shooting Star, which is a great song, but just a little played out after the sped up version went viral on TikTok. Winter Without You leans more into the RNB aspect of the group's concept, and it makes me feel like Christmas should be here again. If you like modern holiday songs or were a big fan of Ariana Grande's album Christmas and Chill, this song was made for you.

Pictured left to right from top row to bottom: MAYA(18), Hinata(21), Juria(19), Harvey(21), Cocona(18), Jurin(21), and Chisa(22).

Loossemble- Real World

LOOSSEMBLE is a group that caught my eye from their single Sensitive, but Real World I feel is an underrated song on their debut album. Debuting September 15, 2023 LOOSEMBLE consists of 5 members(PICTURED BELOW). This is a new subdivision of the girl group LOONA, with some members also being from LOONA 1/3 respectively. Just like with my other recs this week, the whole debut album is a bop tbh. Honorable mention for Strawberry Soda track as well. I haven't really gotten in my LOONA bag just yet, but if it's anything like LOOSSEMBLE, I'm fully sat.

PICTURED LEFT TO RIGHT: Go Won(23) ,Hyeju(22),Hyunjin(23) ,VIVI(27), and Yeojin(21).

Movie of the Week : TMNT (2007 Film)

To say I'm a TMNT fanatic would be an understatment. No matter what gen TMNT is in, I can always find something to cherish about every form of content that been pumped out ofer the years. More praise should be given to this film as a whole. Yes at points the animation of the turltes can be a little.... jarring to say the least.

However, the storyline is so good I can overlook the jumpscare that is having to look at them during certain scenes. This is one of this first instances on screen prior to the Michael Bay films that I felt really allowed Leo to be more than just a leader to his brothers.

Leonardo in most depictions up until recent years was always shown as the levelheaded leader who rarely has a genuine spat with his team and if he does, it usually has to do with the stress from being a leader and not neccesarily with having to be a brother.

This film follows the turtles after Leo returns from what was supposed to be a few months' mission that turned into a year and him trying to recollect his team. You have Mickey and Donnie who are elated the Leo is home, while Raph carries on as though nothing has changed, almost mad that Leo had the gull to come back.

This boils over into a moving fight scene between Raph and Leo, but the difference from this onscreen arguments between the two than the ones at the time were that they allowed Leo to argue, even physically fight Raph but not as his leader. It was a his genuine brother. They allow Leo to get fed up and tired of Raph's attitude enough to give into the preconceived notion that Raph thinks Leo has about him. If you haven't seen it, I would make it a point to. Especially for this scene alone. Def a 5/5 in my book.

And that's a wrap! Thank you so much for reading my first put together blog post!

[guessknee]

about me !

aka me nerding out about things i like

Video Games !

the aesthetics, soundtracks, art, landscapes, everything about video games i love. i love playing jrpgs, visual novels and rhythm games. i love watching streams of all types of games though!

currently into watching apex legends, league of legends, valorant, csgo (on occasion), breath of the wild, and some older jrpgs.

i have a goal of beating one major game a month! i love playing games but i often buy too many at once and then play one while forgetting about the others. i dont know if anyone else has that problem so i made a system (gonna get really nerdy for a second) where i track video game releases im interested in for each of my consoles and i pick one game from each month to play and hopefully beat and one game to buy a collectors edition for (if available).

recently completed games

dec-feb

god of war ragnarok

crisis core reunion

one piece odyssey (almost complete 80% of the way done)

games im excited to play soon

the persona ports (jan release)

fire emblem engage (jan release)

octopath traveler 2 (feb release) - collectors edition preorder!

theatrhythm final bar (feb release)

kirbys return to dreamland (feb release)

story of seasons (jan release)

mobile games im playing

twisted wonderland

ensemble stars

genshin impact (on and off)

consoles i own (i have a weird thing with clue consoles and handhelds - i never realized i always bought blue ones till a about a year ago maybe its because i loved sonic as a kid...)

ps5

ps4

ps2

switch (animal crossing)

psp (light blue)

ps vita (light blue/white)

wii (i never use it)

ds

2ds (blue)

dsi (light blue)

Anime / Manga !

i love anime and manga. ive grown up with it ever since i was around 5. i would stay up on saturday nights till 7 am when inuyasha would start playing on adult swim. if i was ever too tired i would record the episode on our dvr and would watch it after getting home from kindergarten. crazy age to watch inuyasha but i always found it so cool.

also grew up on naruto. i am such a naruto nerd i have rewatched the og and shippuden so many times i can tell people which episode events happened, i can sing the openings in order, i can name most characters, etc. the naruto brainrot is bad. same thing with bleach and dragonball z. the new bleach has me so hyped i loved watching every episode made me want to rewatch the main series but i have no time so i just watch small clips here and there.

i love just about every genre of anime tbh. sports animes (baki, hajime no ippo, kengan asura, one outs, eyeshield 21, etc). idol animes (idolish 7, tsukiuta, tsukipro, etc). shounen, mystery, shoujo, literally everything. i have to be in a certain mood to watch mech animes but whenever one comes out that catches my eye i put all my energy into watching it. i think the only genre i dont enjoy much is isekai, i used to like them but new ones come out too often i cant keep up.

currently watching

one piece (caught up)

blue lock

buddy daddies

monster

vinland saga s2

trigun stampede

yowapeda limit break

tokyo revengers s2

Cars !

my day to day guilty pleasure is cars. i love cars. they are cool, go fast, go stutututu, whine, be loud, have cool lights, i love everything about a good car.

i have a brz! bought it myself and it is my pride adn joy. it is one of my favorite cars and when i bought it in november i literally cried. I drive manual and its so fun to me! i want to learn how to drift but im a bit nervous because i dont want to accidentally mess up anything in my car.

Reading !

i love books i love reading. i love fiction, sci-fi, philosophy, nonfiction, fanfiction, everything. I was never into books like harry potter and anything with too many magical elements in them but always loved horror and more mystery thriller books.

i have been dying to buy more physical books to add to my mini library in my room but theres a few books on my backlog i need to complete before i do that.

i also have a slowly growing manga collection that i desperately need to add to.

i read all day all night on my phone but the feeling of flipping real pages is so satisfying and having the weight of a book in my bag is just so nice.

Music !

not to toot my own horn but my spotify wrapped minutes is always 140k+. i listen to music all day everyday. while doing homework, reading, driving, working, in class (pay attention dont be like me), watching stuff it doesnt matter. i have a terrible habit of getting bored of something very easily so i always multitask and need 20 things happening at the same time so music is amazing at keeping me focused.

i love 'underground archive', rnb, krnb, jpop, citypop, lofi, rap, edm, literally a whole lot of stuff. i dont like pop that much ive grown to realize same with country, i can listen to it but only if someone else wants to.

thats it! literally my whole being in a post.