#but suddenly the “they all hate me and dont want me around and they like everyone else in their groups better” feeling hit me
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On the string propaganda
Heeellll yeah
Bestie is an entire PLACE
I look at those guys and let me tell you the soul of that thing ain't just in the puppet, it's in all the neurons carrying the thoughts and emotions, it's in the power rails that serve as the heart. All the memories in the memory conflux and all the numbers we see flicker across displays, the flux condensers, the puppet; a little avatar.
No way these massive machines see life the same way we do. They have their own experiences and senses and things they hold dear. A world we can't imagine, a way of living we couldn't even comprehend.
I could never tear an iterator apart to be just a puppet. Who am I to decide how's life supposed to be enjoyed or perceived?
You treat your creechurs however you want- I ain't gonna dictate that. But damn, hearing the thrums and buzzes of the linear systems rail? They are alive with so much power, these mechanical beasts are exactly what they should be.
#sorry im just a really passionate on the string believer#you cant tell me that these massive structures kilometers wide capable of things we cant even image would look at something thats#thats comparable to a speck of dust and be like#yes i would like to rid myself of practically my entire body to be that tiny#this aint no “if i were a supercomputer i'd be sad i couldnt see the sky like i do now”#thats only because you have something to compare it to#if i were to suddenly loose everything to be just some microscopic creature i'd be miserable but only because i know what im loosing#id be loosing the ability to think like i do now id be loosing the ability to enjoy the things i do now#i dont know what life is like as a microscopic creature but i wouldnt be willing to give up my life as i know it now#and i think with iterators are the same#just how different is their life from ours and what things can they see that we are missing out on?#give up everything comfortable and known and for what??#to feel the sun? they absolutely have various temperature sensors#see the sky? those overseers were made to see things those visuals are in 4k#other animal comforts?? what about computer comforts??#what makes a lil creature happy may not necessary make a massive supercomputer happy#sorry big rant in the tags um just wanna say this is no hate to anyone who wants their creatures off the string#these are fictional beings and you do whatever makes you happy take them off the string set them loose yess enjoy little robots running#around be happy i love reading ya alls off the string shenanigans#rain world#iterator#drawins#oc veil of dreams#rw talk#rain world oc#iterator oc
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hey do you guys ever think about how justice’s inexperience with people and anders’ reliance on laughing over his trauma would’ve made justice wholly unprepared for the kind of shame and hurt and fear that was now suddenly a part of him. i think abt it!
#theres this dialogue snippet in my word doc of hawke and justice getting to talk#a few actually but in this specific one hawke says smth abt anders being too critical of himself#and the rough next line is just like ‘justice shivers; hunches’#(the semi-colon being a comma curse tumblr tag restrictions)#anyway that fucking haunts me#i just think abt being stuck in there as suddenly part of someone who can be like so violent to himself and you are now himself#like its kind of terrible and ironic that justice is much more likely to be in a bad way#not because anders is innately hateful and too angry and a contaminant or whatever but because anders THINKS he is like that#idk i just want to shake anders a little and be like stop talking to yourself this way dont u know ur friend is in there!!!#and not even just all that but justice suddenly gaining access to all his memories and like his experience in the circle#like justice obviously cares a lot abt the injustice but hes never EXPERIENCED anything like that and to suddenly have that a part of u. man#justice#to be centred around an ideal of justice and suddenly know so completely how badly ur friend who is now urself has been hurt#and theres so little they can DO abt it all for so long...
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this class is so fun and the professor is great, too bad i started to have a mini emotional breakdown about 10 minutes in
#im kinda hanging out on the outskirts of 3 very different fr8end groups 2 of which i wanna be a part of#but suddenly the “they all hate me and dont want me around and they like everyone else in their groups better” feeling hit me#i dont say that its true but sadly my first reaction is distancing myself and that definitely will not work as intended#fuuuuck me#i will have trust issues forever wont i#✩‧₊˚
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ive literally never understood antisemitism and i dont think I ever will. literally 0 basis for any of the conspiracy theories. its always just projection from christians.
#'you want to drink blood and control the world' baby girl you ritualistically drink the blood of your god all the time and convinced ppl#that proselytizing was a Positive And Good Thing You Should Do. dont talk about wanting to control the world.#DONT TALK ABOUT WANTING TO CONTROL THE WORLD- WHEN YOU LITERALLY WANT TO DO IT LIKE YOU MAKE IT BLATANTLY#CLEAR I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AWARE OF THIS YOU CAN JUST SMELL THE AUTHORITARIANISM OFF YOUR SUIT#AND THATS EVEN BEFORE WE GET INTO THE ACTUAL POLITICS! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!#YOU WANT TO CONTROL WOMEN! YOU WANT TO CONTROL PEOPLES SEX LIVES! YOU WANT TO FORCE WOMEN TO GIVE BIRTH!#YOU WANT TO ERADICATE TRANS PEOPLE! YOU HATE PEOPLE OF COLOR! YOU WANT TO CONTROL WHAT BOOKS PEOPLE READ#AND WHAT PEOPLE LEARN IN SCHOOL#YALL L I T E R A L L Y OUT IN THE OPEN SAY YOU WANT TO TURN AMERICA INTO A 'CHRISTIAN NATION'#SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT NEW WORLD ORDER AND TRYING TO CONTROL THE WORLD AND STOP FUCKING PROJECTING#IF ANY POLITICIAN HERE SAID THEY WANTED TO MAKE AMERICA A JEWISH NATION YALL WOULD LOSE YOUR SHIT#BUT SUDDENLY ITS FINE WHEN ITS YOUR CAMP???? IT'S ALMOST LIKE YOUR ISSUE ISNT ACTUALLY BEING CONCERNED#ABOUT JEWISH PEOPLE SOMEHOW NEBULOUSLY EFFECTING AND CONTROLLING SOCIETY AND MORE ABOUT YOU WANTING#TO CONTROL SOCIETY AND NEEDING A SCAPEGOAT TO ATTACK SO PEOPLE DONT SEE YOUR ASS FOR WHAT IT IS#i think yall assume that just bc you want to control everything that so does everyone else and you just dont like what values other ppl hav#you should really live and let live. do some fucking shrooms you square. stop trying to control everything and everyone around#you. worry about you. lord knows you aren't being a perfect little christian like you probably tell yourself- not if you're openly#advocating for tearing away peoples rights.
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I desperately need to be a scene kid for Halloween this year
#idk y but i suddenly realized that im an adult and could potentially buy the goth bullshit at hot topic#that 12yo me desperately desired. and then i was like oof but i like the contrast of color#like i think i really wanted to be somewhere between scene and emo really#but thrn i was looking at scene outfits and im like woof. this is the kinda cringe i love. all thr fucking patterns. all thr colors#i even have thr 1nvader z1m graphic tees in my closet... i think#i just dont kno how tf to do that to my hair and also i dont have actual makeup lol#but i must be a scene kid for Halloween. i want the most ostentatious outfit. oh god im gonna have to go to the mall#i havent been to the mall in ages. i need to go to hot topic and claires. is pacsun still around? do they still sell skinny jeans?#i feel like everythings all bland now in stores. where tf do i go to get early 00s and 2010s clothes#good will maybe??? oh god. its like 3.30am and my hormones r all fucked up so i was experiencing like the type of fear you have when youre#like a little kid in a dark room by yourself. its not fair. when my hormones shift it goes: im so depressed to im full of rage ill kill u#to the world is so fucking beautiful im gonna kill myself. like in a not worrying way idk how else to express the feeling. to the type of#unhinged and undirected fear that belongs to a kid who doesnt kno shit. also lil heart palpitations and sometimes feeling like im gonna die#its bullshit. y does my body hate me? ugh. at least ive got a Halloween plan now#unrelated#oh god. dont let me cut myself bangs. im trying to grow my hair back out lol. im an emo with no bangs
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I'm so tired of my job I wish I could kill myself in front of everyone and come back... I just want them to know how close to the end of my fucking rope I am I hate it there so much.
#i cant do a single thing right#i do what im told i do my fucking job yet i miss ONE thing and its the end of the world and im the mkst useless member of the management te#team im so upset all the time and never wantt to be there literally like 2 weeks ago i was fine and happy with my job but now im suddenly#not doing enough and my gm is pissed all the time#i literally cant do it anymore i need to look for aomewhere else but no where is going to have the pay im getting currently and ill#most likely hate my life more#i dont. dream of work i want to fucking work 2 days and be off the rest#i shouldnt die if i dont have a job i should lose myself and tbings around me its unfair that the world isnt built for people like me#i hate it all im constaly battling shit that doesnt make sense to me like whats the fucking point of sending this email that NO ONE CARES AB#ABOUT. and?????? whats the fucking point of it all stupid pleasantries and kindness gets you nowhere and life just fucking sucks#ugh
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Oh ykw? I actually forgot that my wallet is just straight up in my jacket at all times.
So technically I had it with me.
Ehhhhhh doesnt matter.
#sepiasys.txt#Also I'm like borderline going to fucking cry because I cant isolate from any of these people who dont like me#I'm not even a fucking THOUGHT to them most of the time. And now I have to deal with the fact I might never get to have the fucking key to#the building because ig now B is suddenly insecure about having the key maybe or smth idk it feels like it#I want to get a job but I know for a fact there is like so little to no places I might get hired at and I'm going to fucking kill myself#GOD I JUST WANT TO HAVE DISPOSABLE INCOME AND NOT FEEL LIKE SHIT#Fuck even if I get a job I'm gonna be responsible for bills and I would need part time so I make less and so how much I pay is MORE so then#I would be left with less than my fucking roommates FUCK I HATE LIFE SO MUCH I WANT TO KILL MYSELF AND THE PEOPLE AROUND ME BUT I CANT DO#ANYTHING AT ALL I FUCKING HATE IT HERE
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I was having sensory overload/overstimulation
I wanna cry so bad fuck
#bruhhhhh#bro i feel so uncomfy whenver i see oyster hugging tweedledum#whenever he just suddenly throws himself around her i just feel like throwing up or shuttjng my eyes and ears#ans fhen when he started massagjng my back and shoulders while i was already feeling overstimmed it got so much worse#i never wanted to leave a hangout more than i have rjat#day. deadass i was so fucking unckmforfable#but i was scared that if i left he wouod do smrh to her bro im genuinely so scared for her#ans its so shitty to thjnk about it considering weve known each other for so long but fuck#i was so overstimmed fhat day#all i did was close my eyes and walk around to try to like calm down and my sensory issues were going crazy and im pretty sure i disassociat#ed alot rhat day fuck me it was so fucking unckmfy i dont wsnt to hang out wi5h the two of them alone im so scared of that hapoening#its not their fault. i just. idk why i get so uncomfy whenever i see him suddenly hug her like rhat its so#fuck if i was in her position? i would push and scream and id fucking die on the spot why am i like this?#why am i like rhis??? is it bc i know he likes her?? is it bc i hate the thought of rhat being done to me??#fuck me whats wrong with me ive never felt this way before
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part one
ok imagine it’s one of those nights that you’re down at the dining hall eating dinner, unsure if you should say something to your supposed husband, gojo.
it’s been a couple of weeks that you’ve started eating together, and you’re not sure what spurred his change of heart.
you talk a lot when it’s awkward or when you’re trying to fill a silence and so you let it slip that it was never supposed to be him you married.
“what?” he said, his fork raised midair as you blink owlishly at his confusion.
“what?” you parrot back, taking a sip of some wine as his bright blue eyes stare back intently at yours. he’s so pretty that it’s unfair.
“what do you mean?” he leans forward a bit, his fingers locking in front of him, “who else would you have married?”
your tongue clicks against the roof of your moth as you shrug in embarrassment, laughing uncomfortably. your mother (though she hates it when you call her that, not wanting to be associated with the bastard daughter her husband, your father, brought back all those years ago) would be livid if she heard of your slip up.
“oh, nothing, um, i don’t even know what i was talking about,” you chuckle lowly, moving some peas around on your plate.
you can still feel his burning stare on the side of your head, knowing that he won’t stop until you tell him.
“it’s nothing, really,” you mutter, glancing up to look at him, “but before this proposal came i was supposed to marry this other…man,” you wince thinking of the man who initially proposed to you, his slimy smile, the way he looked at you like nothing more than a vessel to carry his heir.
“who?” gojo presses, not noticing the way his jaw was clenching or subconsciously looking at the gold ring around your finger, one he haphazardly picked, but now wonders what it would look like if another man wed you.
why is he so jealous?
he already knows the answer, the time he heard you crying to your maid seated into his memory. he’s not sure why he wants you to say it, why he even wants to hear it.
you swallow thickly, heat rising to your cheeks as you glance over at gojo.
“naoya…naoya zenin? i dont know if you’ve heard-”
“i know naoya,” gojo said curtly, watching the way you cringed at his tone.
a heavy beat of silence washed over the two of you.
“are you happy you didn’t marry him?” gojo asks suddenly, poking at this question that’s been suffocating him for nearly a month.
you tilt your head slightly, your eyes piercing his, squinting as you try to gauge what he’s feeling at the moment. he notices that you do that a lot, especially with him.
“are you happy you married me?” you counter, and watch as a his eyes shift, darkening for a second as he glances away from you.
happy? he’s not sure. he’s rarely been truly happy in his life, everything he’s done has had a purpose, even this marriage served a purpose, but he’s more than glad you didn’t marry that zenin.
but he takes too long to answer, watching the small sad smile that overtakes your face, confirming the thoughts you’ve been riddled with since you married him.
you excuse yourself for the night.
gojo stays in his seat, twirling his ring around his finger.
fuck.
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AURGHH I KEEP FLASHBACKING TO THE AWKWARD SITUATION TODAY
#it feels unreal#gonna cry#I wish guys didn’t exist !!! that way I wouldn’t be so awkward around them !!!!#like it’s so mean to expect me to suddenly be okay with interacting with them when I’ve been shut out from them for most of my development#years#its like so unhealthy 🧍♀️#anyways I already have a tough time talking when I’m in a mildly stressful situation but …#like my words always get stuck in my throat / I just mumble random nonesense / I don’t know how to articulate my thoughts / stammering#I’m a rlly anxious person and it’s rlly debilitating 🧎♀️#who ever thinks stammering is cute can respectfully … idk IM JUST LIKE 😭😭😭 how’s stammering cute I am stressed beyond belief !!!#I hate socialisation#anyways ughhh that was so embarrassing pls like now I think I made him feel bad about himself …#I didn’t mean to I swear I would never 😭 he just misunderstood me is all 😭#Muslim Girls CANT TOUCH ANY GUY INCLUDING HANDSHAKES FISTBUMPS ETC#pls … why are guys trying to fist bump me I am not a bro 😔#I Ran out of the lab basically#my mum when I told her the story she was sympathising w him more than me and said I should get over it !!!!#girl … I cannot stand men … even the normal ones creep me out to some extent#I’ve been shut out from them for centuries everyone wants a token goody two shoes good girl#who doesn’t talk to boys until she’s thrust into said mixed environment and is expected to deal with it how about no …#dora daily#yeah I dislike every male idk they make me feel weird ? it’s hard to explain 😭#it wouldn’t be that deep if everyone didn’t slaughter malala for the handshake UGHHH ID RATHER JUST SHAKE HIS HAND WHY IS THIS AN ISSUE#like on one hand I could’ve said hey I’m not allowed in my religion but doesn’t that just sound like rlly bad ?#the only thing I managed to tell him was after I stared at him like a deer in headlights was “uh …. I … can’t”#and he was like wdym you can’t LIKE LOOKING UPSET 😭#I DONT DO WELL WITH MAKING PPL UPSET IM SOBBING#I hope he didn’t take it personally it’s just 😭😭😭#anyways time to shut up !!!
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I'm gonna be so open and honest with you guys right now i fucking rly dont want to go to work tomorrow .
#im violently nauseous rn and ik its judt bc ive been in a straining position and also i ate like 20 slimjins but like km only gonna get 5#hours of sleep maximum im gonna have a headache im so tired of everything i wanna have a day off but i cant. Its only tuesday and im#already liek Please can we be done please no more this week all done all done#im so fucking sick of working i dont want to have to work for the next 40 years Minimum. i hate everythingbon earth#i dont understand how ppl work fulltime and have a life i only get 2 live At all on weekends#and even then its only 1 day saturday bc sunday is my Doing all my chores and stuff day#so i do all my laundry i tidy up the room Et cetera. i dont udnerstand how people can just do this forever#it genuinely feels like. bc i leave 4 work at 6am. i get home around 5pm. im supposed to go to bed. well technically i should go 2 bed at#9 to get a full 9 hours but look man . that would give me 4 hours a day to be a person#so my bedtime is officially 10 but usually i go to bed at 12 which means i dont get enough sleep which means as soon as i getnoff work the#next day im even less willing to do anything#+ doing anything fun fucking costs money if not the thing itself the travel expenses. and if i spend money i just have to work to make that#money back i fucking hate it. and im doing this for what. so that in 40 years i can retire and then 10 years after that oh no unforeseen#expenses or something suddenly my retirement isnt cutting it i have to go work at fucking walmart or something as a 70 year old judt to#make ends meet. god. And when the fuck am i supposed to have kids i want kids very badly one day but how the fuck am i supposed to have#kids if id only be able to spend Maximum 6 hours a day with them. thats if my work is like Doectly next door.#how. how. how. less than 6 hours even bc theyd go to bed before i did so rly like 3 hours a day with my theoretical kids Im an awful#theoretical parent and maybe my theoretical spouse works less hours so they can be home with the kids but they resent me for always being#at fucking work 9 hours a fucking day and they resent me for not being there for our theoretical kids Im sorry theoretical partner i want#to fucking be there but SOMEBODY has to put money into our theoretical savings account. UGH!!!#i hate work i hate it i hate it#i dont even hate my job i just hate that its my entire fucking life#i hate that i essentially get half a day every week thats truly mine that i get to do whatever i want. and in my current situation i barely#even fucking get that idk.
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anyways tired of this mean spirited ass website
#maybe im the only trans person who actually hates being reminded of my anatomy idk#its fine if a trans girl says 'you just want a penis!!' but if i say the same thing but w vagina im sure i'd get a million ppl yelling at m#hmmst.#i kinna just think we let ppl slide by w that shit toward transmascs too much. everyone else can be transphobic#towards us directly or even indirectly but if i inched anywhere near the same shit yall say suddenly its an issue#its the same shit w the fucking theyfab shit. doesnt matter if it negatively effects transmascs to some ppl at all apparently#but if i start goin around calling people femmab we'd prolly have issues huh?#can we explain this? are we just doing the whole reversing gender roles to feel woke and Not transphobic#bc its not any better just saying trans girls are the uwu ones who need to be protected and you cant make them cry instead of having that#thrust upon us- ya dont just get to reverse them and act like you're Doing something#anyways you dont get to protect trans girls from any perceived harm and then leave trans guys in the dust sorry idc#fuck off and die ig idk. or be better.#and no- obligatory: im not saying trans women oppress trans men.#if me critiquing your actions = me saying you're 'oppressing me' every time then you're#probably an insufferable person to be around anyways. but assuming good faith from some of the ppl possibly reading this#and whom i wish would assume good faith on my part as well- i do think we let trans women get away w shit that if trans men#did the same shit in reverse everyone would get in a pissy fit about it#and i dont think the solution is to let us do it too i think the solution is some of yall need to check yourselves and internalize the whol#'would you like it if someone said that to you' shit and changing things where it applies like. would you like it if i said to you that#'you just want a vagina'? probably the fuck not! so maybe fuckin check yourself and you wont lose transmasc friends.
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mature - Matt sturniolo
summary: where you and your boyfriend matt get into big fight, he knows how to make it up to you, even when you want nothing to do with him.
contains: mature!matt, angst, crying, yelling, fluff, arguing.
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11:56pm
i lay spread across the couch in my pretty white pyjamas, a small bowl of pretzels lay next to me as i watch youtube videos on the tv.
suddenly my peace gets interrupted.
“are you slow? why do you keep making a fucking mess of my house?” matt speaks up, walking into the living room, his eyebrows scrunched.
“what?” i instantly reply quietly,
he walks over to me and lifts up the bowl next to me,
“all of your shit, all over the house, is it that hard for you to pick it up? or do you need me to do that for you aswell.”
his voice isn’t loud, not even mad, but everything that comes out of his mouth is bitchy.
“excuse me? are you forgetting who cleans when you’re filming?” i raise my voice, standing up off the couch to be face to face with him.
he lets out a scoff, “don’t do a good job at it, do you?”
“don’t talk to me like that! you’re starting arguments for no reason!” i glare into matt’s eyes,
“baby, i’m not arguing with you, just try do better for me.” his tone is passive aggressive,
“i’m arguing with you! you can’t speak to me like that!” i yell, pointing my finger in his chest.
“you’re just a bit useless around the house, that’s all.” he says, staring into my eyes.
“no- let me rephrase, you’re just useless in general.” he follows up, my heart thumps against my ribs.
my hand collides with his cheek, slapping him, my eyes instantly widen.
he grabs my wrist, yanking me towards him.
“touch me again see what happens.” he warns, squeezing my wrist in his large hands,
my eyes water,
matt never gets mad at me, he treats me like an actual princess, he’s never made me upset, or cry, never raised his voice at me.
“you’re such an asshole!” i scream at him,
“go! go to the spare room i don’t want to see you!” he shouts back, his voice booming through the room, which is now warm from the heat of the argument.
my heart sinks as he yells,
“go! fuck out of here!”
i pause for a moment, tears blurring my vision, threatening to fall.
i nod, grabbing my phone off the couch and silently walking out of the room.
matt just watches me, his breathing heavy.
tears instantly start flowing, painting my flushed cheeks with warm tears.
i let out a loud strangled sob before reaching the spare bedroom, i walk into the room and slam the door behind me.
“are you crying?” matt calls out, followed by quick footsteps up the hallway.
i flop down onto the bed, burying my face into the pillow as all my emotions pour out of me.
my whole body shakes with each attempt of a breath.
i grab my soft animal on the bed and hold it close to me, clutching it as i cry.
matt opens the door with a small huff, before walking over next to the bed.
he rubs my back soothingly, “cmon, roll over onto your back.” he says softly
i shake my head with a sniffle, my tears dampening the pillow as i sob into it.
“i hate you!” i cry,
“i know, i know you do.” he says, running his fingers across my back,
“you’re so mean.” i sniff, my voice muffled by the pillow.
“i know, i was really mean to you, wasn’t i? and i didn’t mean any of it, just a tiring day.” he sighs,
i nod, matt sits down on the bed beside me and plays with my hair,
“can you look at me please?” he asks, starting to braid my hair at the back.
i slowly lift my face out of the pillow, my eyes puffy and my whole face red.
“there she is, pretty girl.” he smiles, pulling me onto his lap so i straddle him.
i look at his face, the side of it has a small slap mark.
my bottom lips trembles, “i dont know why i slapped you, i’m- im sorry matt.”
he presses a finger to my lips, “shh, sh i deserved it.” he laughs.
“i feel guilty though.” i pout,
“can i tell you a secret?” he asks,
i nod, he whispers into my hair “you didn’t hit me that hard, i promise.”
i feel a small weight get lifted off my chest.
“now take a nice deep breath for me okay?”
i suck in a deep breath,
“good girl, can you give me another one?”
i take in another deep breath, blowing out air through my nose.
he wipes the stray tears away from my face,
“i didn’t mean to make you cry sweetheart, you know i hate seeing you this upset.” he says, looking into my eyes.
“it’s okay.” i sniff,
“i want to see you smile for me,” matt says, i give him a small smile before covering my face.
he pulls my hands away from my face with a small laugh,
“i can’t smile for you when you ask me to, it’s so awkward!” i giggle,
“it’s cute baby.” he grins, scooping me up in his arms and standing up off the bed.
he walks us out of the room, “now lets get you in the bath.”
i squeal as he runs us down the hallway, “you’re gonna drop me!!”
he throws me a couple inches in the air before catching me back in his arms, earning a loud scream from me, followed by loud laughs from him.
he walks into the bathroom, before setting me down on the toilet seat.
he turns on the bath before walking over to me, tugging my tank top off my head,
i feel his cold hands fiddle with the clasp of my bra,
“matt! i can do this myself.” i protest, he shakes his head.
“it’s my pleasure.” he grins, letting my bra fall off of me.
“you’re so stupid.” i laugh, pushing his shoulder lightly.
—
@jayz4dayz4 @sassysturniolo2008 @nyktoxs-lover r @nathando-64 esgf @starsturns234 @chrissturnsss s @joemamaaa42069 9 9 @sturnthepot t t @zayyluvz z z @realuvrrr r @livialifesblog @sturnioloblogs s @riowritesitall @raysmayhem-72 @sturnsdoll @obvisturns @stupid4sturniolo @meerkatzthings @witchofthehour @rosalierenee43 @gabrielle-brun1 @ilovemymannnnnnnn @sturnioloxlver @buckys-goodgirl @sturniol0s @ilovemymannnnnnnn @chr1sgirl4life @luanetaluenta @sturnsssbow @mattfangirl @luvr4miya @luvtay111 @lolasturniolo @freshloveforthefit @ruedowney @lovingchrissposts @333michelle e @h3arts4harry y @jamiesturniolo @chrisstopherfilmed @itzdarling @ @daddyslilchickenfingers2 @ev3rgreenxtrees @certifiednatelover r @solarsturniolo @mattsenthusiast t @yomamaslays4lyfe @peachmels @alinaa131 @pepsiluvr0209 @creamoncreamoncream2 @szobofc c @mattscoquette @blahbell668 @sturniolo04 @bitchydragonparadise @sturni0l0tripletzz 0 @ratatioulle @sturnsfav @mattsonly @justalittle47 7 @sunsetsturniolos
#sturniolo#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo angst#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo smut#matthew sturniolo
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katsuki in trouble !
katsuki makes a grave mistake and has to make it up to you.
“ hey.”
silence.
“ hey.”
katsuki is in trouble.
he knew he was in trouble when he playfully poked at your cheek and you kept ignoring him, not even offering him a side glance as you kept scrolling on your phone.
earlier, you had caught him committing the irreparable sin of eating the last piece of cake you had bought from a bakery near school which you had specifically saved for today. you would’ve been nice enough to share it with him if you hadn’t caught the bastard red handed stuffing his face with your cake.
after that you hadn’t talked or looked at him since. and it’s been driving him fucking nuts.
he needs you to talk to him, to touch him, to at least look at him again or he’ll lose it. this was basically torture for him, and you knew that.
he tried acting like he didn’t care, he really did. but that lasted about five minutes before he started getting antsy. he kept clicking his tongue and grunting and sighing every minute or so. he rested his head against his hand where he laid on your bed and he’s been staring—scratch that, glaring at you for what seemed like forever.
katsuki knows he’s in trouble, but he doesn’t like it when you ignore him. you know he hates it, so it’s all your fault he’s acting like this. he wants you to look at him now, and when he wants something katsuki makes sure he fuckin’ gets it.
“yer bein’ dumb, was one slice of cake, you’re really gonna ignore me for that ?” he poked at your side making you jump slightly, but your eyes remained fixed on your phone like you hadn’t even heard him. like he wasn’t even there !
katsuki’s eye twitched.
he sighed, scooting himself closer to you so he could grab the phone you were tightly clutching onto. after wrestling you for it and ripping it out of your hands, you tried crossing your arms against your chest, but he was faster, grabbing both your wrists. you tried getting out of his iron grip but it was futile. screw him, being so strong. it was honestly kind of insulting he wasn’t even struggling that badly, only grunting a bit as he told you to “quit that” and grabbing both your wrists in one hand.
you dont know how he ended up on top of you, but he did and you were suddenly trapped. you wouldn’t go down without a fight though, turning your ahead away from him to glare at the wall.
you heard him huff above you. “ m’sorry okay ? shouldn’t have eaten yer’ stupid cake.” he mumbled begrudgingly. you glanced at him and saw how red his cheeks were as he tried to keep eye contact but simply couldn’t, his eyes darting around the room then landing back on yours.
fuck, he’s cute.
as endearing as he was, you were still a little pissed off. “that was my last slice.” you muttered grumpily.
“i know.”
“that was my last slice.”
“i know.” he lowers himself until he’s laying on top of you and he noses at your neck. “ i’ll get ya another one." he muttered into your shoulder.
you stayed silent for a bit, willing yourself not to smile “really ?”
he shoved his head deeper in your neck, you squirmed at the ticklish sensation of his hair against your cheek. “ yeah.” he grumbles, pressing a sloppy kiss onto your skin. “so quit ignorin’ me, pisses me off.” read : “it makes me upset.”
you can practically hear the pout in his voice as he presses more of his weight onto you like he’s trying to trap you which he probably is. he lets go of your wrists in favor of wrapping his arms around your waist tightly. you feel him sigh against you as he waits for your response.
you smile slightly to yourself as you wrap your arms around his shoulders. he lets out a sigh of relief and his hold on you tightens. “don’t ignore me like that again, got it? mean it.” he practically whines into your shoulder. his attempt at scaring you is completely useless when he’s basically trying to hibernate in your neck.
you chuckle “ i won’t if you keep your paws off my food.” obviously he’s unhappy with your answer because he bites you, hard.
“ ow ! katsuki !”
he growls in response “don’t do it at all, dumbass. don’t like it.”
“ well, i don’t like it when you eat my food !” you quipped.
“ didn’t know it was yours.” he answers simply, cozying himself up in your neck. the asshole.
“you could’ve asked me.” you complain, but you’ve got a hand running through his hair and you’re rubbing his back soothingly. he groans.
“ i’ll get you a new one tomorrow, so quit bitchin’ at me an’ lemme fuckin’ hold you.”
you sigh “you’re unbelievable.” you feel him smirk against your neck and he bites it again, softly this time, and looks up at you. a smirk on his lips and you hate how it makes your heart skip a beat or two. screw him and his stupidly pretty face.
“you love me though.” and he knows he’s right with that stupid little self assured grin he has and you’re suddenly tempted to smack it right off his face. with your mouth. lovingly.
you pretend to be deep in thought and he huffs out a laugh, pinching your stomach. you squeal and tug lightly at his hair as payback. he retaliates by shoving his head into your neck again, mouthing and chewing on it like a dog.
“katsuki !” you try to scold him but you’re laughing. you weakly push at his shoulders but it’s useless.
“you love me.” he says again.
he’s insufferable.
“ i do, i do !” you gasp.
“ say it.”
he’s insufferable.
but you wouldn’t have it in any other way, unfortunately.
“ okay, okay !” you grab his shoulders to get him to look at you and when he does his eyes are bright and playful and he’s smiling wide and you mirror his expression, because you do love him.
“ i love you, katsuki.” he smiles wider. his cheeks are pink but he’s still got that stupidly handsome smirk on his face as he speaks “ of course you do.” he leans forward and plants his lips onto yours. you place your hand against his warm cheek and he grips your wrist. when you pull away you’re both breathing a little heavy. he presses his forehead against yours and smiles softly at you. you smile back.
of course you do.
“ you’re still getting me my cake tomorrow.”
#i love my boyfriend#two clingy katsuki blurbs in a row can you tell im obsessed w this concept orrr#clingy bastard i love him sm#SO normal about him#dm this just an insane rambling about this stupid loser#bakugou katsuki#bakugou imagine#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugo fluff#katsuki bakugou x reader#katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou x reader
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im so fucking tired of cis people and their fake supportiveness
#the docs#just. fuck.#you say you love me but refuse to do the VERY SIMPLE TASK of using the right name for me.#you say you support me but OUT ME TO PEOPLE IM NOT OUT TO ***WITHOUT ME BEING THERE***#you say you know what i want but because I don't look like one you cant acknowledge me as a man#im so fucking tired. im in so much pain over my body that i can't do anything about.#i can't transition i can't get hrt i can't get top surgery i can't get bottom surgery i literally cannot afford to and people like you are#making it increasingly more dangerous to do so#'i get it i really do' no you fucking don't. you don't and you literally cannot understand how much pain i am in and how fucking angry i am#i hate you i hate you all#'it takes some time to get used to' it took me trying to fucking kill myself before anyone used the right name for me.#'for religious reasons i can't-' I DONT FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOUR GODDAMN RELIGION IT'S MADE UP BULLSHIT USED TO JUSTIFY ALL SORTS OF BAD SHI#but nooooo i can't possibly be mad over it. im not an adult yet. they're from a different time.#when i ask to do a very simple task suddenly im the fucking bad guy but when it comes to marriages you can support a name change.#im done im so fucking done.#do you have any idea the shit i would do to my body if any of you fucks werent around.#you will never understand how much pain i am in#you will never understand how fucking angry i am.
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Me when
When
When the others are not allowed in front 😭
If they are they aren't alone and thus get heavily influenced or dont have full control or smth 🥺💔
#sepiasys.txt#Pls I just want to stop feeling these things 😭#sepiasys.priv#Idk if there's been a DAY we weren't pet or age regressed atleast once /g#It doesn't help that our roommates are kinda triggers? S especially is. ☕️ is comfortable beside him as a pet; 🪴 just hates everyone (/hj/t)#B actually triggers our 🪴 the most which is. something...#It's impossible to unmask around these people :(#🪶 has been out a lot more recently as well? Holding all the shame and guilt 😓#🌼 only ever feels excited or happy or even content at the calmest. 👑 is rarely fuckin here but we try because he's rlly important.#Omg I feel suddenly sleepy now akabksbs NOT cool >:/#Idk if we have more alters; It's so confusing. I wonder if it's because we just never feel like an adult#Honestly 🪶 has been here feeling worthless af and like. the thing that would HELP is if we get a job!#Like we thought about it and yeah having a job would make us feel less like a burden on our roommates#But then we literally cannot think of anything that would sound good to an employer??? Like are we actually so worthless lmao (😞🥺)#AGH I WANNA LIE AGAIN!! I WANT TO LIE AND PRETEND WE'RE MORE CAPABLE THAN WE CAN REMEMBER BC WE CANT REMEMBER SHIT!!#Stop valuing honesty it'll get us nowhere or make things worse/harder in a lot of cases >:(#Fucking GODDAMNIT‼️ I'm like going to punch some shit but also I literally am not allowed in front-front (I dont think anyways) >:/#ARE WE JUST SUBCONSCIOUSLY MASKING ALL THE DAMN TIME OR IS IT SOMEONE ELSE IN FRONT; THAT IS THE QUESTION >:0#I fucking hate appearing normal how the fuck do I act like societal norms don't apply to me
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