#but suddenly the “they all hate me and dont want me around and they like everyone else in their groups better” feeling hit me

[metamelonisle]

(keep in mind this post is not planned out and i am largely speaking from my thoughts)

i know people like to clown on white cishet men who explain that they're right-wing because they were told they were inherently evil or cruel or only capable of destruction or manipulation by everyone around them, and people mostly interpret that as "i learned white people did bad stuff in the past and this made me hate the WOKE left" when the truth is genuinely so much more harrowing.

like. i know there are lots of queer people who are former right-wingers, and i am willing to bet that a lot of them were right-wingers because until they realized they were queer, they were actively barred from even looking into queer spaces and demonized until they wanted nothing to do with it at all. and then they, like any normal person would do, simply joined up with people that accepted them. and then they changed, and those friends weren't so accepting anymore, and then suddenly the old community that scorned them for was accepting them with open arms.

being told you're inherently evil by the people around you that otherwise claim to champion "justice" and "humanity" for practically your entire life is genuinely traumatizing. being treated like an irredeemable boogeyman by people who don't even know you simply for how you were born is traumatizing. it doesn't matter if you have some sort of societal advantage or safety net. pain and trauma is subjective and shaped by perspective and experience, and i can guarantee that that this sort of experience hurts and it hurts bad.

and the reason why i know this pain so clearly is because. well. I'VE been dehumanized for things i can't control my entire life! I KNOW what that shit is like and it's horrific! I don't care if it's satisfying to give "them" "a taste of their own medicine", stop giving that pain to people! You're only making things worse!

i dont know how to say this but even if your dehumanization isn't systemically supported it can and will still traumatize people and fuck up their sense of self and there are people who absolutely will pounce on that opportunity that you have created and you will have no control over who those people are.

i dunno how to close this but i guess the message i want you, the audience, to take away from this is to stop generalizing people as evil just because of their body or blood. you don't know these people. you don't know their lives. their stories. you don't know their values, and you cannot make that judgement based on appearance alone.

i get that you're scared. i get that we're all scared. but i swear to god, you cannot fucking do this to anyone. from a humanist stance, it's unethical to prematurely judge someone as an enemy for something they cannot change about themselves, like their lineage or face. from a pragmatic stance, you are ensuring an enemy that could have otherwise become an ally.

i dunno if this is controversial but im gonna say this as a brown trans woman. i think now is absolutely 100% not the time (not like it ever WAS the time but ESPECIALLY not now) to be generalizing men (especially white cishet men) as inherently evil or right-wing and isolating all of them on principle. i cannot possibly further emphasize how vulnerable all of us are and i understand that when people are scared we will naturally want to shift into us vs. them to try and keep ourselves protected. but in so many ways that mentality only enforces a shallow illusion of safety and all it ultimately does is push out people who otherwise would have gladly stood by you because you were too afraid of them to treat them with respect

[xenomorphicdna]

On the string propaganda

Heeellll yeah

Bestie is an entire PLACE

I look at those guys and let me tell you the soul of that thing ain't just in the puppet, it's in all the neurons carrying the thoughts and emotions, it's in the power rails that serve as the heart. All the memories in the memory conflux and all the numbers we see flicker across displays, the flux condensers, the puppet; a little avatar.

No way these massive machines see life the same way we do. They have their own experiences and senses and things they hold dear. A world we can't imagine, a way of living we couldn't even comprehend.

I could never tear an iterator apart to be just a puppet. Who am I to decide how's life supposed to be enjoyed or perceived?

You treat your creechurs however you want- I ain't gonna dictate that. But damn, hearing the thrums and buzzes of the linear systems rail? They are alive with so much power, these mechanical beasts are exactly what they should be.

[vigilskeep]

hey do you guys ever think about how justice’s inexperience with people and anders’ reliance on laughing over his trauma would’ve made justice wholly unprepared for the kind of shame and hurt and fear that was now suddenly a part of him. i think abt it!

[bunnihearted]

my upstairs neighbor is actually fucking insane and idk how im supposed to keep living like this 🙃

[buckboi]

.

[critterofthenight]

this class is so fun and the professor is great, too bad i started to have a mini emotional breakdown about 10 minutes in

[snekdood]

ive literally never understood antisemitism and i dont think I ever will. literally 0 basis for any of the conspiracy theories. its always just projection from christians.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

I desperately need to be a scene kid for Halloween this year

[piplupod]

thinking abt the previous post, the agency i worked at for a couple years would use bits of ABA and I just... I always nodded along to the boss instructing me on how to work with the kids with those tactics (I worked with the kids who were 6 and under) and then as soon as she left I tossed all that shit out of my brain and just treated the kid like a human being and worked with them where they were at.

and guess what !!! i had the most and fastest success out of every other worker in the entire building!! i was often told it seemed like i was working miracles with my kids bc they'd just progress so fast (comparatively) through the skill book we had to work on, and that the kids always seemed so happy and eager to come to the building after they started working with me!!

this is partially why I quit because I couldn't stand seeing my coworkers treat the kids like they were dogs (talking down to them, being patronizing, and utilizing shitty ABA tactics) and as much good as I was doing there, it was fucking me up bc they were extremely demanding that I work more than I was comfortable (or able) to, and often put me with "problem" kids who I didn't get to regularly see so we couldn't make much progress bc the kids weren't able to get to know me and (rightfully!) didn't trust me because they thought I'd be treating them the way everyone else did.

i just...... my coworkers would ask me how I had so much success and I would just shrug and say like, "just treat them like they're human and work with them where they're at" and I couldn't explain any more bc that'd require me admitting I wasn't following the boss' guidance for a lot of shit fjfkdl

[siinlight]

I'm so tired of my job I wish I could kill myself in front of everyone and come back... I just want them to know how close to the end of my fucking rope I am I hate it there so much.

[sepiasys]

Me when

When

When the others are not allowed in front 😭

If they are they aren't alone and thus get heavily influenced or dont have full control or smth 🥺💔

[qqqqqqqqqqq0]

[yanosdiary]

I was having sensory overload/overstimulation

I wanna cry so bad fuck

[nezuscribe]

part one

ok imagine it’s one of those nights that you’re down at the dining hall eating dinner, unsure if you should say something to your supposed husband, gojo.

it’s been a couple of weeks that you’ve started eating together, and you’re not sure what spurred his change of heart.

you talk a lot when it’s awkward or when you’re trying to fill a silence and so you let it slip that it was never supposed to be him you married.

“what?” he said, his fork raised midair as you blink owlishly at his confusion.

“what?” you parrot back, taking a sip of some wine as his bright blue eyes stare back intently at yours. he’s so pretty that it’s unfair.

“what do you mean?” he leans forward a bit, his fingers locking in front of him, “who else would you have married?”

your tongue clicks against the roof of your moth as you shrug in embarrassment, laughing uncomfortably. your mother (though she hates it when you call her that, not wanting to be associated with the bastard daughter her husband, your father, brought back all those years ago) would be livid if she heard of your slip up.

“oh, nothing, um, i don’t even know what i was talking about,” you chuckle lowly, moving some peas around on your plate.

you can still feel his burning stare on the side of your head, knowing that he won’t stop until you tell him.

“it’s nothing, really,” you mutter, glancing up to look at him, “but before this proposal came i was supposed to marry this other…man,” you wince thinking of the man who initially proposed to you, his slimy smile, the way he looked at you like nothing more than a vessel to carry his heir.

“who?” gojo presses, not noticing the way his jaw was clenching or subconsciously looking at the gold ring around your finger, one he haphazardly picked, but now wonders what it would look like if another man wed you.

why is he so jealous?

he already knows the answer, the time he heard you crying to your maid seated into his memory. he’s not sure why he wants you to say it, why he even wants to hear it.

you swallow thickly, heat rising to your cheeks as you glance over at gojo.

“naoya…naoya zenin? i dont know if you’ve heard-”

“i know naoya,” gojo said curtly, watching the way you cringed at his tone.

a heavy beat of silence washed over the two of you.

“are you happy you didn’t marry him?” gojo asks suddenly, poking at this question that’s been suffocating him for nearly a month.

you tilt your head slightly, your eyes piercing his, squinting as you try to gauge what he’s feeling at the moment. he notices that you do that a lot, especially with him.

“are you happy you married me?” you counter, and watch as a his eyes shift, darkening for a second as he glances away from you.

happy? he’s not sure. he’s rarely been truly happy in his life, everything he’s done has had a purpose, even this marriage served a purpose, but he’s more than glad you didn’t marry that zenin.

but he takes too long to answer, watching the small sad smile that overtakes your face, confirming the thoughts you’ve been riddled with since you married him.

you excuse yourself for the night.

gojo stays in his seat, twirling his ring around his finger.

fuck.

[snekdood]

anyways tired of this mean spirited ass website

[kavehater]

AURGHH I KEEP FLASHBACKING TO THE AWKWARD SITUATION TODAY