#why am i like rhis??? is it bc i know he likes her?? is it bc i hate the thought of rhat being done to me?? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

slowfridays · 1 year ago

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im actually crying … holy shit. where the hell do i begin in describing how much i love this? 😮‍💨

i am SO so in love with how this was written, and no, i am not exaggerating. each description, each line exchanged did not fail to make my heart happy, namely:

(1) You decided you liked his laughter and the smile that came with it. goshdarn u are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT and this sentence feels like it was MADE for lee seokmin…literally try to imagine anyone else. it will inevitably be him. my god.

(2) the dynamic set between dk and the reader is SOOOO NEAT im not even joking like oh my god. their exchange about “YOLO” and trying it out (auditions) vs resting even for a while???? that was so crazy i swear…and then followed up with dk being so smug and happy about reader inadvertently calling him a friend!!! i could feel his happiness all throughout that scene despite the teasing and the flustered state of the reader, which spoke volumes of how well their dynamic was going to be like!

(3) Too busy saving the world? … ‘perhaps because he sounded almost genuinely proud of you every time he said it’. GOD. fiction is fiction, but goshdarn i want a man like this so so so bad… oh deekay i am forever going to be a spinster bc of u .

(4) seokmin’s right, reader is so cute. as someone with anxiety, i love how the hint of anxiety warning was played into the reader here, in that it was very subtle but all too relatable, whether or not that was the intention. i love the part where she spaced out bc of how she was slowly realizing her feelings and then suddenly being caught by seokmin then being told by shes cute after like. BRO. HOW DO U SURVIVE THAT. u dont

(5) FOREHEAD KISS FOREHEAD KISS FOREHEAD KISS FOREHEAD KISS FOREHEAD KISS!!!!!! the absolute pinnacle it all… changed lives and altered my brain chemistry forever. the initial hesitation between the two, until deekay steps into the fixed…line…set, and lets himself in and takes that risk and goes for it and reader lets him ohhhhhh im going insane. i love how they were initially hesitant until they werent. “i dont mind.” MY GOD

(6) love… is a bowl of fruit. 🍉 gah damn. seokmin noticing the slight change in reader’s mood and calming her down in the process before anything else got standard; and also, him noticing that bc hes just that observational about her, CHOOSES to be that observational FOR her… the way he drops everything to take care of her just feels so very lee seokmin to me, and my heart just lurches so much at this. THEN you even add that as she works he feeds her fruit. like what the FUCK. jail time. that was the last straw im absolutely insane by now. the tea making too??? wow. WOW. and… you know… all of this just to say: me when

(7) The Talk. 🗣️ i love how reader was the one who brought it up like omygod that was so so. heartwarming in the best way. i guess its bc i think that it showed multitudes on reader’s part, in that we know she has anxiety or at least shows traits of an anxious person, and i guess that just felt very human to me? but also: i love how seokmin responded. i love how respectful he was of her boundaries, of her choices, of what she wanted. it felt to me that his love was just that great, coupled with the fact of just how warm and lovely of a person he is. what a beautiful thing it must be then, to be loved by lee seokmin.

(8) ill be in the front row. ull get sick of me. i could never. AHUSHAHAUSHA . OK . ALRIGHT its ok im fine ahahaudhau god this is so ! i know cheesy couples say that all the time, but deekay is a corny man that has nothing but authentic cheesiness in every bone he has. just… honestly, one of the reasons this fic felt so vivid to me and why i couldnt stop punching my pillow and smiling tonight.

🤎 man, i could go on and on and on: but bottomline is that i really enjoyed reading rhis fic. happy tears were mentioned mostly at the end and that is what i was left with as i finished reading thisl i’m really glad i saved this and then read it just now. thank you for writing this; i treasure this one so much. :”) 🤎

Dreamers

Lee Seokmin (DK) x fem!reader

Genre: mostly fluff, with a hint of anxiety

Word Count: 10.9k

Wanings: food mentions. adult language. a few parts may come off as suggestive, but not really. y/n is an environmentalist but not vegan.

[Series: Serenity Street 17] Sleepwalking is a nasty issue. You find yourself in the correct building but wrong apartment, sharing a room with a ridiculously cute boy who seems to find it amusing.

Note: This one goes out to all of my ambitious girlies! Keep working towards your dreams!

The moment you stepped onto the evening bus you regretted the decision.

With a bright smile, Sunny greeted you, rushing to move her bags into her lap so you could take the seat next to her, all while never once taking her eyes off you. Her brows rose in a questioning manner. You cursed under your breath as your neighbour’s usual warm smile morphed into a look of disbelief when you sank into the seat next to her.

With a sigh, you raised a hand to silence her. “I know.”

But she didn’t take the hint. “When was the last time you slept? Did you sleep at all last night?”

“Why do you keep asking questions you already know the answer to?” you whined and hugged your bag close to your chest. “I’m sure you heard me showering at 3 am.”

“The bags under your eyes aren’t supposed to make it look like you have a black eye,” she told you as if she hadn’t heard you at all, still eyeing you in worry. “How much did you sleep? You look worse than Jeonghan when he thought I was mad at him.”

“Does it matter?” You huffed. “At least I’m getting some rest.”

“I think it only counts as rest if you actually get 8 hours of sleep every once in a while,” she countered with a snicker, “which, by the looks of it,” she gave you a once-over, followed by a disappointed a sigh, “you haven’t had in years.”

“I sleep just fine. I’m healthy, I am productive,” you defended and tightened your hold on your bag. “Sleep is for the weak anyway.”

Sunny rolled her eyes. “Sometimes I wonder how you’re friends with me but not Jihoon. Your mentality is almost identical.”

“Listen, somebody has to do the work. And unlike some, I’d actually like my work to amount to something bigger than an average paycheck that barely covers my bills. I have ambitions. I want to make the world a better place.”

“Honey, at this rate you’re not gonna live long enough to see your ambitions come to life,” she grumbled under her breath and linked your arms. “It’s okay to rest every once in a while. Take a week off from work and actually just do something fun for a change.”

You grimaced. “I’d rather not. Messes with my groove.”

Sunny had no words left to say. She stared at you with a wide mouth for a moment before sputtering, “How– How are we friends?”

“Fate brought us together so you could nag me at all possible hours,” you joked, looking out the window now to avoid missing your stop. “But seriously, I don’t need to rest. I love my job and my colleagues and I’m making a change.”

“You should at least go to sleep early tonight.”

“Can’t. I have a big report due next week and I don’t want to miss my deadlines.”

Her gaze hardened immediately as she cursed, “Why, you little–”

“Hey!”

“I’m just worried about you,” she mumbled through a pout just as your bus arrived at your shared destination. With a begrudging sigh, she unlinked your arms and gave you an encouraging pat on the shoulder as the two of you stood up and walked over to the door “Well, I guess it’s your life. But I swear–” she pointed at your face, eyes squinted in a glare; she interrupted herself mid-sentence, “no, I vow that if you collapse under the stress, I’ll personally go and hand in a letter of resignation in your name.”

You scoffed at her empty promises, smiled, and stepped off the bus. You had no doubt you would be just fine and she was overreacting over nothing. She couldn’t wrap her mind around your work ethic and goals – she was built of an entirely different wood.

Then again, you couldn’t deny you often felt a little jealous of her. The nagging feeling hit once again when you looked up to find Jeonghan standing at the gate of your building, his smile widening the closer Sunny and you got to him. You envied that she had found – through trials and tribulations, you’d admit – a perfect man to brighten her days while you had no time to even contemplate romance.

“How was your day, my beautiful lady?” Jeonghan greeted your neighbour with a sweet kiss on her forehead before taking her bag and leading her inside with a hand on her back. He didn’t forget to offer you a welcoming smile and a friendly “good evening” as well, both of which you returned.

“Are you going to the 5th floor tonight?” you asked them as the three of you trudged up the stairs and they made no effort to walk to her apartment.

Sunny nodded. “It’s movie night and he has the bigger TV.”

Jeonghan let out a loud ‘ha!’ and grinned at her victoriously. “So you admit it. My TV’s better than yours!”

“That’s–” She sighed deeply. “That is not the point right now–”

“How is it not?”

Unable to continue watching their lovers’ quarrel, you hummed and waved them goodbye before promptly unlocking your apartment, walking in, and quickly locking it again as if their bickering or cheesy nicknames could otherwise follow after you.

You had far more important things to do, after all.

With a tired sigh, you warmed up some of last night’s leftovers and opened your laptop. The familiar Times New Roman font on your screen prompted a soft groan, but still you squared your shoulders and got to work.

If you were quick, you’d get this done way before the deadline. Maybe you could even go to work in the morning with a nearly finished report! You smiled at the thought.

But life doesn’t always go as expected.

You thought you were old enough to know this fact already. After all, when had life ever followed your expectations? It seemed to enjoy throwing curve balls right at your head.

You woke up with a splitting headache at 7 am, an hour before your usual alarm. It was strange – you concluded so as you stared at the time on your phone through a squint. With a soft huff, you let the phone drop back onto the mattress and your head onto the pillows.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” you then heard a voice.

Your eyes snapped open. There was someone in your room.

The voice sounded apologetic as it continued in a whisper, “It’s okay. I didn’t mean to make any noise. Sorry. Let me just get my shirt and–”

You sat up abruptly to stare at the intruder – a handsome familiar-looking man shuffled around the walk-in closet. Worst of all – he was shirtless. You dreaded to think of what had happened the night before.

“Who– Who are you?” you stuttered out, instinctively lifting the blanket higher against your torso despite the fact that you were fully clothed. “Why are you in my apart–”

Then it hit you. The worst of the worst realities.

“Holy shit, this isn’t my apartment!” you screamed and jumped out of bed to apologise profusely. “I’m so so sorry! I had no idea! I don’t how–”

“Hey, hey!” The man – now wearing a crispy white button-up shirt – walked out of the closet hurriedly, a worried smile on his face as he rushed to comfort you with a gentle hand on your back, leading you to sit back on the bed. “It’s okay.” He let out a laugh. “I was going to let you sleep for a while more. It’s okay.”

You had no clue how he could be so calm about this. What the hell happened last night?!

You stuttered. You sputtered. You gasped for air like a fish out of the water. You were on the verge of a panic attack at 7 am in the morning and he was smiling, all while patting and rubbing your back like it was the most natural thing.

“Why am I here?” you eventually managed to breathe out. You hated to admit that his calm and friendly nature was helping you adjust to the situation.

He raised a brow, his soothing movements stopping. “I was hoping you could answer that.”

When you made no move to do so and only offered him a puzzled look, he shrugged. “I woke up to someone trying to unlock my door at 2 am. Almost cried, actually, but then I heard a knock and Mingyu telling me to open the door, so I did and you…” He gestured widely to his room. “Well, you came in and went straight to bed as if it was your own home. I didn’t know what to do but Mingyu and I figured you needed to rest.”

You stared at him with a dropped jaw. “You didn’t think to call the police?”

“Well,” he grimaced, “I was going to but you really looked like you needed to sleep.” He gave you a worried look, inspecting your face. “You still do, actually. Do you sleep at all, like, outside of my bed?”

“I sleep plenty,” you scoffed and got out of the bed, wiping your face with your sleeves as if to rid it of any evidence that might suggest otherwise. With an awkward look, you bowed and began heading out. “Well, thank you for… your hospitality. I’ll get going. I’m sorry for bothering you. This won’t happen again.”

Before he could say another word, you slammed the door shut behind you and began heading… where were you heading?

You looked around the hallway. It was still your building. You could recognise these hallways even in your sleep. A quick glance informed you that you had just stepped out of apartment 1D – the apartment directly below yours.

You groaned as the realisation sank in that you could never visit the first floor without feeling awkward again. With a sigh, you headed up the stairs to your own apartment.

“Isn’t that Seokmin’s apartment?” Sunny pointed out when you told her of your horrible adventure on the bus home from work later that day. She frowned a little as she tried to recall exactly who lived there.

“Whoever it was, at least it wasn’t Jihoon.” You shuttered to even think about it.

Sunny grimaced. “Yeah, I’d be bailing you both out of jail right about now.” She then shrugged. “Yeah, I think that’s Seokmin’s apartment. He really just let you stay the night there?”

“Apparently?” You wanted to laugh at the insanity of the situation. “I have no recollection of what happened or how I ended up there. The last thing I remember is working on my report in my kitchen and then waking up in a shirtless man’s apartment.”

“Shirt–” She almost broke her neck at the speed she turned her head to look at you with wide eyes. “He was shirtless when you woke up?!”

“He was getting dressed for work–”

“Well, is he hot?!”

You had never wanted to throw someone out of a moving vehicle so much before. “Is this what you’re focusing on right now? I’m going through a crisis here!”

“Yeah but–”

“You literally have a boyfriend!”

“Yeah, but–” She paused mid-excuse and nodded her head in acknowledgement. “Right. You have a point there.”

“How did I possibly end up in his apartment at night without remembering it?” you contemplated, leaning your head back against the seat. “I can’t think of a single explanation.”

“It is weird,” Sunny hummed in agreement as the bus rolled to your stop. The two of you got off.

“Where’s Jeonghan?” you wondered in surprise upon not seeing him all the way up to the second floor.

Sunny shrugged, still deep in thought about your predicament. “I don’t know. Probably causing trouble with Junhui again. Possibly getting on Joshua’s or Hyesoo’s nerves. Maybe he stole someone’s mail or took the hinges off someone’s door. Not my problem.”

You could only stare at her in absolute wonder. “He’s your boyfriend.”

“He’s his own person.” She then clapped her hands together in revelation, stopping in her steps in the middle of the hallway. “Didn’t you say you used to sleep-walk as a kid? I swear you mentioned it over coffee once.”

You nodded. “Yeah, but it hasn’t happened in a literal decade.”

“Who’s to say it didn’t happen again last night?” she suggested with a shrug. “By the way, do you wanna come over for coffee and cake? Jeonghan bought one on sale because the expiration date is today, but it’s sort of giant.”

After contemplating for a moment (more of a debate really, won by the grumbling of your stomach), you agreed and followed her into her apartment.

As the two of you walked into the kitchen, she continued, “All I’m saying is that there’s a lot going on in your life right now and maybe it all worked together – the stress, the lack of sleep, you get the gist – and now you’re sleepwalking again.”

“I sincerely doubt it.”

“You should see a doctor about that,” Jeonghan suggested. You jumped in your spot before finding him sitting at the dining table, fully focused on assembling a lego set. He continued without a care in the world, “Sleepwalking can be a serious issue.”

Your eyes narrowed. “Why are you here?”

He finally glanced up to offer you an amused look and a chuckle. “I’m her boyfriend. Where else would I be?”

“I invited her over for coffee and cake,” Sunny informed him with a kiss on his cheek. “Play nice.”

“Yes, princess,” he spoke in reply before turning back to you. “But I would really go to the doctor if I was you. If it’s bad enough that you wake up in someone else’s apartment, it’s bad enough to warrant a doctor’s visit.”

You felt yourself pale, your blood running both ice cold and lava hot. “How– Why do you know that?”

“It’s the talk of the town,” he joked before waving his joke off. “Just kidding. I met Seokmin on my way to the store earlier and he told me. He seemed worried about you.”

“So it is Seokmin!” Sunny cheered victoriously. “I knew it! I told you!”

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow and laughed. “Good job.”

“Thanks.”

You sat down at the table and slumped in the chair. “But if I’m sleepwalking, why did I go to his apartment?”

“Isn’t it right below yours?” Jeonghan pointed out like it was obvious. “Asleep you probably thought you were going to your own apartment. You just mixed up the floors.”

“So,” you sighed and rubbed the bridge of your nose before meeting his eyes and maintaining eye contact, “what you’re suggesting is that I fell asleep–”

“Yes.”

“–in my apartment–”

“Mhm.”

“–then left my apartment for some reason–”

“That much seems obvious.”

“–and then went to Seokmin’s apartment–”

“For some reason, yes.”

“–one level below my own?”

Eyes widening, he hummed at the slight error in the logic. “You do have a point. Why would you leave your own apartment to go to your apartment?”

“My head hurts just listening to this,” Sunny informed the two of you while serving the cake. As a slice fell over on a plate she quickly assigned to Jeonghan, she suddenly suggested, “What if you thought you were going on a walk and then returned home?”

Jeonghan leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest as he began recounting, “So, what you think happened is that she fell asleep–”

“I’m going to kick the both of you out if you start again,” his girlfriend declared all of a sudden, pointing a knife in his direction. “I’m serious.”

“It is a reasonable guess though,” you decided as Sunny placed a plate of cake in front of you. “I do love going on walks when I’m stressed.”

“Then–”

A knock on the door interrupted the conversation. You watched in mild amusement as Sunny and Jeonghan silently argued over who should open the door and if they should open the door at all. Eventually, to your surprise, Jeonghan relented and got up with a slight groan. The moment he was out of the kitchen, Sunny stole his seat across from you.

“I think the worst part is that I don’t know how to face him again, like ever,” you started the conversation again while taking a bite of the cake. “It was so awkward.”

“Speaking of awkward,” Jeonghan announced and led the newest guest into the apartment. The now familiar feeling of both ice and lava in your veins made a new appearance as you recognised the visitor. Your spoon dropped back on the table.

Seokmin offered you a friendly smile and a wave. “Ah, so that’s where you are. I tried your door but no one answered so I wondered if I had the wrong place.”

“You–” That was the only syllable you managed to voice. Your brain was scattered, filled with pictures of the awkward morning as well as a single fluttering butterfly carrying an obnoxious sign that said ‘he cares’. You gulped.

Thankfully, Sunny stepped in. She smiled brightly and ushered Seokmin to take a seat while she found an extra plate.

“I wasn’t going to come and bother anyone–” he tried to reject the offer of cake, but failed to. He was too friendly for his own good – just like the rumours around the building often said. He sat in the seat Sunny had preoccupied just seconds ago, right across from you, and smiled at her. “Well, if you insist.”

“What can I do?” Jeonghan sighed and theatrically looked away as he started his monologue. “Everyone loves my girlfriend so much. How can I possibly keep her–”

“Stop being melodramatic and come eat, idiot,” Sunny laughed and took the seat next to you. “So, Seokmin, what brings you to my friend over here?”

Seokmin opened his mouth to reply before turning to you and softly asking, “Is it okay to talk about it here?”

Sunny chuckled. “About her waking up in your apartment? Go ahead. I think everyone in the building knows already.”

“Oh.” He offered you an awkward-looking smile. “Well, sorry about that. I only mentioned it to Mingyu and Jeonghan but I guess– Nevermind. I just wanted to tell you to not worry about it.” His smile brightened, genuine and full of warmth all of a sudden. “We all have rough days – and rough nights – and I’m just glad you got some rest.”

“I have one question,” Jeonghan raised his arm before asking, “where did you sleep?”

“Me?” Seokmin shrugged. “The sofa. There was a woman in my bed.”

You somehow felt both worse and better than before. At least you knew he didn’t hold a grudge – after all, he seeked you out just to tell you it had been fine – but at the same time: you made this poor man sleep on the sofa instead of his objectively comfortable bed.

“I’m so sorry–”

“I said it’s fine,” he laughed and reached out to pat your hand. “I really don’t mind. You looked like you were sleeping very well. But–” he tilted his head in thought, a slight frown appearing, “–is it possible you were sleepwalking? You didn’t react at all last night, to anything. You just… brushed past us like we weren’t even there. I don’t know if you even had your eyes open.”

Sunny all but slammed her spoon on the table to give you a haughty look. “Yep. Told you. You were sleepwalking.”

You frowned. “I guess it’s possible.”

“Should I…” Seokmin scrunched up his nose in thought. “Should I maybe keep a look out in case this happens again?”

Immediately you shook your head. “No. No need. It was a one-time thing. A fluke. It was nothing. Won’t happen again.” In your attempts to not look at him, you happened to eye the clock. Your jaw dropped. “Oh. I should go home. I have–”

“–a report due in a week and deadlines to meet,” Sunny finished for you with a laugh. “I know, I know. Go.”

Jeonghan spoke up as well, “Take the plate and another slice of cake before you go. I want to know you eat at least a little between your work.”

You did as you were told and made your escape without another word, not even a goodbye to Seokmin.

You had no time to feel guilty or consider that your heart fluttered a little at the thought of him coming to find you. Once again, you buried your feelings into lines of Times New Roman in your report.

“Oh, you come here too?” you heard his voice just two days later at the grocery store.

It was a little surprising to find him there: the store was a good mile further from the one closest to your building. Like a startled owl, you stared and blinked at him in the cereal aisle.

As you opened your mouth to respond, he chuckled and looked away at the cereals. “Don’t worry. You don’t have to talk to me. I just needed to get some Fruit Loops and figured I might as well say hi.” He placed the cereal in question into his basket and offered you one more friendly smile and a playful wave. “So, hi!”

“Hi,” you managed to drag out as you lifted your hand in a wave.

With a chuckle, he turned and headed away to the next aisle. You thought you were free from him for the day.

But alas: you found him again when you went to get eggs. He seemed to be contemplating between two brands. You tried your best to go unnoticed as you searched for your favourite local free range brand. To you dismay, he stood right in front of the eggs you seeked.

“Excuse me,” you started and tapped his shoulder when he didn’t seem to notice.

He smiled upon recognising you. “Yeah?”

“Could you move? I want those eggs.”

“The expensive ones?” He raised an eyebrow and handed you a carton. “They’re almost triple the price of the store brand.”

“But they’re free range and locally sourced. You should try them,” you explained with the slightest bit of enthusiasm before placing eggs into your cart and walking away in the direction you thought him least likely to follow.

You truly thought you were free of him when you went to the checkout, but once again, as if tasked by god himself to be wherever you went, Seokmin was in front of you in queue, meticulously placing his items on the counter. As he turned to put away his basket, his eyes found yours and a bright smile appeared on his face. “Oh, it’s you again!”

“It’s me again,” you replied with an awkward laugh.

“Are you leaving too?” he wondered while fishing his bag for his wallet. When you nodded, his eyes lit up. “Do you need a ride home?”

Your eyes widened. “A ride?”

Why was he offering you a ride home? Why was he so friendly with you at all? You had broken into his apartment – in the eyes of the legal system anyway – and he was smiling at you like you were a beloved friend.

“Of course. We should stick together, no? We’re neighbours, after all– Hold on,” he interrupted himself to respond to the cashier, “Yes, by card please.Thank you.”

“You might have to wait a moment then,” you finally relented when he turned to you once again, eyes resembling a puppy. His smile widened at your words and he nodded.

The ride home was short and awkward. You greatly feared he would try to retaliate for the emotional damage you might’ve caused by sleeping in his apartment. To your relief, he did not such thing and only continued cheerfully chattering.

“–but I feel like a dog would be too much work, you know? I love dogs but I don’t have that kind of time.” He offered you a glance. “Do you have any pets?”

You scrunched up your face in thought as the car rolled to a stop in the parking lot of the building. “I have a cactus.”

“... Does it have a name?”

Eager to not disappoint, you blurted out the first name that came to mind: “Bertha.” You shut your eyes in shame.

But as the two of you got out of his small red car, he laughed. “Bertha? Sounds lovely. Is she high-maintenance?”

“Very.”

“Yeah?”

You decided you liked his laughter and the bright smile that came with. “Easier than a dog though.”

He laughed louder at that and handed you your grocery bags. “I bet. Maybe I should get a cactus too.”

“I highly recommend,” you chuckled, finding his laughter contagious. “It’s very fulfilling to watch it do absolutely nothing all-year-round.”

When the two of you got into the hallway, he paused in front of the staircase. As you were about to ask him about it, he asked, “Do you need help with your bags?”

“No, I’m–”

“They look heavy.” He frowned before holding up a single finger, jogging over to his door, dropping his singular bag in front of it, and running back to you. Before you could formally protest, he grabbed the bags from your hands and began the journey up the stairs. When you froze in your spot, he turned to ask, “Well, aren’t you coming? Or were you going to sleep at mine again?”

Your face burned at the teasing comment. You decided following after him was the lesser evil.

“There we go,” he cheered when the two of you reached your door. He rubbed his hands against his thighs a few times, awkwardly like a schoolboy, before smiling and waving goodbye. “I guess this is goodbye for the day. It was nice talking to you.”

You didn’t manage to even thank him before he was already halfway down the stairs. Maybe you made him as nervous as you made him. As you went to sleep that night, you replayed the interaction over and over again in your head, failing to hide a smile at the memory.

The valley of the mattress had a hold over you. You had never been so comfortable waking up – well, with the exception of maybe once or twice.

The pillows were the perfect temperature, the blanket hugged you just right, the big teddy bear you hugged to your chest smelled fresh out of the washing machine–

“Since when do I have a teddy bear?” you grumbled in confusion and pried your eyes open. You felt all blood rush away from your face as you looked at the bear – light brown with a baby blue bow, its eyes shining up at you.

You had never even seen this bear before.

Cursing under your breath, you glanced around the room. You were back in your very own personal hell full of flowing beige curtains, white unfamiliar sheets, and teddy bears: the hell known as Seokmin’s apartment.

The realisation brought tears of frustration to your eyes, but you were too stubborn to let them loose. It was barely 8 am but you were already on the verge of crying – what a joke.

Wiping your eyes, you all but slammed the bear down on the bed (you’ll never admit you did feel a little bad about it seconds later and gave it a little pat on the head) and stood up. You stumbled out of the bedroom and towards the front door.

As you reached for the doorknob – the final obstacle on your journey out of hell –, you heard his voice, sweet as honey like always, “Oh, you’re not going to stay for breakfast?”

You froze.

“I made extra waffles and all,” he added, sounding a little dejected. You didn’t have the heart to tell him no, so you sighed softly and turned around to give him a tight-lipped not-quite-genuine smile. His own grin brightened at the sight. “Is that a yes? You’ll stay?”

“Only for the waffles,” you lied and took a seat at his table.

He laughed and placed a plate of fresh food in front of you before taking the seat across from you. “Not because you don’t want me to feel bad?”

“No,” you grabbed a fork and began filling it with food, “I just don’t like food waste.”

“Oh, right! Minghao said you work for an environmental company. That sounds cool.”

“Yeah?” You swallowed your food. “What about you? What do you do for work?”

He cleared his throat as though the question had caught him by surprise and he was too shy to say. After a moment of silence, he bashfully admitted, “I’m a music teacher at primary school.”

You blinked in surprise. “A music teacher?”

“Well, I wanted to be a singer– a musical actor, actually,” he explained, his voice fluctuating in volume and his ears bright red, “but I’m a little too shy to audition. So I just stuck with teaching others to sing.”

“That’s so cool though,” you told him with a smile. “Are you good at singing?”

His ears seemed to turn an even deeper red. “My friends think so but I don’t know. I think there’s still a lot of room for improvement.”

“Then why not audition? You only live once.”

He seemed thoughtful all of a sudden, watching your increasingly awkward self. You were just about ready to apologise for your possibly intrusive question when he softly asked, “Why not rest and live a little? You only live once, right?”

The question felt awfully pointed and you didn’t fail to let him know with a glare.

“I’m serious,” he declared, his lips pouting a little as if he was actually upset at your lack of self-care. “Whenever I see you, you’re always rushing somewhere. The only person you seem to be friends with is Sunny, and maybe Jeonghan by association.”

You opened your mouth to defend yourself. “I’m also friends with Minghao–”

“He barely even leaves his apartment. He doesn’t count.”

“He counts!”

“Do I count?”

“Of course you–” Your eyes widened as did his smile.

“We’re friends now!” he declared while pointing an accusatory finger at you, his voice raising in excitement. You began to protest but he was having none of it. “No take-backs! We’re friends – you just said so!”

“I didn’t actually–”

“Nope. No. We’re friends.” He narrowed his eyes at you, his smile never fading. “Or do you just sleep in random guys’ beds?”

You wanted to protest, you really did, but there’s only so much you can say to defend yourself against such accusations. Besides, his bright smile at your defeated nod could’ve won awards.

Accidentally waking in his apartment didn’t end. No. In fact, it somehow got worse.

Once every week quickly turned into once every few days. You were tempted to start keeping track of how often you woke up in your own bed but one could assume the numbers wouldn’t be too impressive.

You grew accustomed to the smell of his detergent and the smell of breakfast in the mornings. Was this what it might’ve been like to be in a relationship?

“How come you’ve never dated anyone?” he wondered once over breakfast.

You shrugged. “I don’t have the time.”

“Too busy saving the world?” he teased like he often did. Over time you stopped finding it annoying (perhaps because he sounded almost genuinely proud of you every time he said it).

“I assume you don’t get a lot of dates either,” you bit right back between bites of pancakes.

He seemed to be taken aback by your observation. “What makes you think that?”

“You sleep with a teddy bear, Seokmin,” you deadpanned.

He pouted. “Fluffy is a premium sleep companion.”

You laughed. “Is he?”

“You steal him every other night!” he accused with a chuckle. “I’m sure you know how great he is by now.”

“He’s truly a– What did you say? A premium sleep companion?”

“That’s what the label said when I got him.”

“Maybe I should invest in a bear too,” you wondered thoughtfully between bites.

Seokmin raised an eyebrow. “Then why don’t you?”

“No ti–”

“If you make the ‘no time’ excuse again, I will scream,” he said with in utmost seriousness. You promptly shut up: Seokmin’s lung capacity was well-known by everyone in the building.

After a moment of silence, he cleared his throat. “You know, if it’s physical contact that you need to sleep– Nevermind. How are the pancakes?”

Whether it was to save your or his dignity, you chose to ignore his first comment and answered only the last question, “Their colour is nicer than usual. I like the golden colour.”

“I guess the free range eggs really do make a difference,” Seokmin mused with a chuckle. When you offered him a surprised look, he hummed in confusion. “What?”

“You bought free range eggs? Didn’t you say they were too expensive last time?”

He shrugged. “I figured I might as well try to make some more ethical choices while shopping. Besides, you recommended them–”

Your eyes welled up a little. “You bought more expensive eggs because I recommended them?”

“And because I care for animals,” he added in a little too fast.

You laughed and nodded. “For the animals, right. Me too.”

“Do you ever rest from your work?” he wondered after a moment. “What do you do outside of it?”

“I… don’t know. I read. I like to clean.”

“But what about going to festivals? Swimming? Cycling? Dancing?” He grew more and more desperate as you rejected every hobby he offered. “No wonder you’re so tired all of the time! You’re a workaholic.”

You snorted. “Sunny did say I’m similar to Jihoon.”

“I didn’t think it was this bad.”

“I think he’s worse though.”

“Oh, definitely, but he doesn’t go to sleep in his neighbours’ beds,” Seokmin pointed out with a look of worry. As he watched you for an exactly uncomfortable amount of time, his eyes eventually lit up again. “I have an idea. What are you doing tomorrow evening?”

“Working–”

“I swear if I hear that word one more time, I will scream.”

You, once again, promptly shut up.

“Great,” he beamed and clapped his hands together, “I’ll text you to details later.”

“You’re not even going to tell me what we’re doing?”

You sighed in disappointment as he smiled brightly and shook his head ‘no’.

A knock on your door notified you of his arrival. Despite being sure it wasn’t meant to be a date and knowing that Seokmin had seen you in far worse condition, you still took a deep breath and gave yourself a quick once-over at the mirror.

When you opened the door, he smiled at you brightly. “I see you’ve dressed up too.”

“I would hardly call this dressed up,” you told him rather sheepishly, suddenly even more aware of you appearance. “You look very dapper as well.”

“Yep, and do you want to know why?”

“Why?”

His smile widened so much you worried for his cheeks. “Because you and I are going to the theatre.”

“The theatre?” You paled at the mention and looked down at your outfit. “I feel like I’m underdressed then.”

“You look fine,” he laughed and grabbed your hand. “Let’s go or we’ll be late. And trust me,” he widened his eyes for dramatic effect, “you don’t want to be late.”

You gave in begrudgingly and locked the door as fast as you could while he practically bounced at your side in excitement.

“What are we going to watch then?” you finally remembered to ask when you entered the theatre less than 15 minutes later. “I swear, if you dragged me here to watch an opera–”

“It’s a musical, actually,” he admitted bashfully. “I love musicals and I don’t know much about other theatre performances so I thought– But if you don’t like musicals, that’s–”

“I don’t mind musicals,” you told him with a little laugh and pat on his shoulder. “But I have to admit, it has been ages since my last time at the theatre, and I haven’t seen a musical in a few years at least.”

“That’s fine. I’ll guide you through it.” And as if the last shy bone had left his body, he grabbed your hand and led you to your seats, all the while widely smiling at you and giving your hand periodical squeezes of encouragement.

His hand never left yours for the duration of the musical, not even for intermission, not even when he ordered cake from the theatre café to hold you over until after the show. His hand remained warm in yours, fingers squeezing a little tighter every once in a while, his thumb running over the back of your hand.

It was so warm, so comforting. Just his presence alone was enough to make you dizzy with the feeling of safety and happiness. His touch? You were floating on cloud 9 with zero regard for what was going on below – or on the stage, for that matter.

Frankly, you could barely remember to watch the musical because you were so busy marvelling at the feel of his hand in yours.

“That was so good,” he excitedly told you as the two of you returned to your apartment. “The music was phenomenal.”

“The actors were very good.” And that was the only contribution you could make to the conversation because you definitely hadn’t paid any attention to the plot and your knowledge of music was simply not there.

But thankfully, that seemed to be far more than enough. His eyes gleamed as he sat onto your sofa and gestured widely while speaking, “Right? The leading woman was just– Incredible, fantastic. Her range! I’m a little jealous, actually.”

You took the seat next to him. To your surprise, his hand found yours once again, wasting no time in interlocking your fingers. And just like that, paying attention to anything else became difficult.

Were you really developing a crush on him? Just like that? You refused. You were too busy to be pining after a man.

But when slid closer to your side and looked at you like you were the most wonderful person to ever exist, you suddenly didn’t care about the lack of time. Screw it. You’d make time if it meant you got to see his star-filled eyes again.

“... Sorry, what?” you coughed out when he paused and looked at you expectantly.

He laughed. “You’re so cute. I asked if you wanted to go see another musical with me someday.”

“I’d love to,” you blurted out without thinking.

Yeah. Screw deadlines.

“Okay, perfect!” His smile brightened up the entire room as he rested his head on your shoulder. “Because I heard they’re doing Excalibur next season and I desperately need a friend to go watch it with me. I saw the premise and heard a preview of one of the songs and they’re holding auditions next month and I am already obsessed–”

Your brain was barely functioning at all, and yet you could recall one single memory from the depths of it. A dream he had shared. “Then why don’t you audition?”

He sat up abruptly, looking at you as if you were insane. “I couldn’t possibly–”

“Why not?” you asked. “I heard you singing the other day. You’re really good. I think you could get any part pretty easily.”

His ears turned more red with every word you said. “You flatter me…”

“I’m serious, Seokmin!”

“I’m not that good. And I have zero acting experience, aside from a few courses I did in college. Why would they ever pick me?”

“Why wouldn’t they?” you countered and he scoffed.

“I can think of a few–”

“You never know if you don’t try,” you told him and raised your hand to brush a stray hair off his forehead. “I’m rooting for you.”

As your words faded into the night and your eyes met, you wondered if he could feel the sparks flying and bursting all around you as well. Did he also feel that overwhelming adoration for you?

He sighed after a while, a bashful smile on his face. “You must be tired. It’s been a long night. Go to sleep.”

“I really should,” you yawned as if on cue. You shared a laugh at the timing.

He squeezed your hand one last time. “Well, good night then. I expect I’ll find you at my apartment in the morning–”

“Or you could stay here and we don’t have to worry about that,” you blurted without thinking. Your face flashed hot right after.

Had there been any alcohol in that cake he bought for you? Why were you feeling so bold all of a sudden?

“I–” He seemed speechless.

“I don’t know why I said that,” you rushed out and avoided his eyes. “I think I’m just really tired and work has been stressful and maybe my brain is just broke–”

He placed his hand behind your neck and led your head to rest against his chest as he rubbed comforting circles on your back. You could hear his body rumble with laughter as he held you. “I’d love to stay over. Besides,” he pushed you away just enough to look you in the eyes again, “I think it’s only fair that I get to sleep over this once, because you sleep over at my place a lot.”

You frowned and pouted. “It’s not like I mean to–”

“A lot,” he repeated with wide eyes and a teasing smile before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “But it’s okay. I don’t mind.”

When you recounted the half-embarrassing and yet half-lovestruck happenings of the previous night to Sunny on the way back from work, she stared at you in bafflement.

“You actually asked him to sleep over?” she gasped, hand over her heart as if she was a peasant woman of the 16th century hearing the most scandalous gossip. “You little vixen!”

“Nothing happened,” you insistently told her as the two of you stepped off the bus.

She huffed. “That’s honestly so boring. I mean, have you seen that man? What I wouldn’t give to–”

“I am once again reminding you that you already have a boyfriend.”

“You don’t know what we’re into in the bedroom,” she countered with a smirk.

You only now realised how much Jeonghan was rubbing off on her. She was becoming a second him, slowly but surely. Couple of the year.

“I’m taking away your friend privileges, Sunny,” you told her at that and rushed ahead to avoid hearing any more weirdly Jeonghan-like jokes from her.

She laughed at that before running after you. “Okay, okay, no more dirty jokes.”

“Thank god,” you sighed towards the sky.

“So, did any sleepwalking occur?” she then asked before humming in thought. “Well, I imagine if it had, I would’ve heard about it by now. It would’ve been quite a sight to see Seokmin running after an asleep you towards his apartment at 2 am.”

“I didn’t sleepwalk.”

And frankly, if you had, Seokmin must have done a very good job of getting you back to your own bed because you woke up exactly how and where you fell asleep – wrapped in his arms, head resting in the crook of his neck.

Sunny suddenly stopped in spot. Her eyes wide, her lips parted. She pointed an accusatory finger at you, “Wait, does that mean you two are dating now?”

You weren’t sure you had the answer. And you wouldn’t have time to find the answer for a while.

“Good morning!” you heard Seokmin’s voice before you even opened your eyes.

Unlike the previous few times, disappointment filled you as realisation hit. You groaned and turned over to bury your face in his numerous pillows, hoping you could suffocate yourself out of a mildly infuriating nightmare.

Seokmin clicked his tongue. “Not quite the greeting I was expecting, especially considering I was greeted with a hug the last time we shared a bed.”

“Shut it.”

“Oh, you’re mean today.”

“Did I fall asleep mid-work again?” you sighed and slowly sat up to glare at nothing in particular. Seokmin went to great lengths to avoid whatever direction to directed your deadly look to. “God, I bet I didn’t even make it to the second graph– I’m not gonna have time to go to the office for work today.”

He stared at you curiously. “So, work from home? I mean, if you have the possibility.”

“Yeah, but then I’ll get distracted and then I still won’t end up doing anything,” you whined before falling back into the pillows. You wanted to cry just at the thought of that stupid report waiting on your idle laptop.

“Why are you so stressed about this report anyway? I don’t think you were ever this upset over any other reports.”

“If this project report goes through, and we pull off this project – which I still have to plan, oh my god, I am so far behind–”

Seokmin laughed at your frantic movements and moved over to place his hands on your shoulders and keep you still. “Hey, hey, don’t get distracted. If the project goes through…?”

You took a deep breath. “If the project goes well, I will get a promotion. Less hours, better pay.” You sighed. “Then maybe I’ll be able to get a dog like I’ve always wanted.”

“That sounds wonderful! We should celebrate with breakfast,” he suggested with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

But as tempting as it sounded, you simply didn’t have any time to chat. You had work to do. And so, you stood up, fixed your hair, gave Seokmin an affectionate yet half-hearted pat on the back and headed for the door.

You couldn’t wait to spend your day in complete lonely misery. At work you at least had friends to talk between sections. All you had in your apartment was Bertha and instant coffee.

And it was as if Seokmin knew it just from the way you spoke to him that morning.

When the clock struck twelve, you heard a timid knock on your door. Confused at the noise and a little disoriented from the five pages of words you had written, you stood up and went to the door.

Your heart grew three sizes when you saw him standing there, looking so awfully huggable in his large white hoodie and grey sweatpants, glasses on his nose accompanied by a kind smile. You were so surprised to find him there that you failed to consider why he came.

He had to nudge you with the plastic bag he was holding for you to even notice it.

“Sorry,” you stammered and stepped aside to let him in, “I’m just a little-”

“Stress? Overworked? Confused because you’ve been staring at a 15-inch screen for the past three hours?” he suggested and brought the bag to the kitchen. “That’s okay. Don’t even mind me.” He smiled as he nodded towards your laptop. “Go on. Work waits. The sooner you get to it, the sooner it’ll be done.”

Disoriented as you were, you didn’t dare argue and slowly walked back to your previous seat at the coffee table, all the while watching him cautiously.

As your fingers landed on the keyboard, he began lifting things out of the bag. You watched in awe as he stacked snacks and vegetables onto the counter.

Feeling your eyes on him, he lifted his head to glare at you. “Work.”

“Work,” you repeated on instinct and turned back to your laptop. He laughed a little at your robotic tone.

Some 20 minutes later, you felt a presence next to you. When you turned to face it, Seokmin was holding an fruit slice up at your lips.

“Eat,” he told you softly. You did as told.

“What are you doing?” you asked between confused laughter and chewing. Your eyes landed on the bowl of fruits he had placed in front of you.

He shrugged. “Taking care of you. You seemed so upset this morning… I thought it would be nice to spend my free day helping you.”

Your eyes widened. “It’s your free day? And you’re here? You should be resting!”

“Watching you is all the rest I need,” he winked playfully before lifting another fruit to your lips. “Now, eat up. This is lunch. I’ll make something better for dinner.”

“You don’t have to–”

He took this chance to shove a piece of apple into your mouth, effectively interrupting your speech. “I will, and I don’t care what you say.”

He glanced around the apartment as you began to eat the fruits on your own. “When was the last time you opened a window?”

You watched curiously as he stood up (with a groan because his bones simply weren’t as nimble as they used to be) and headed over to the windows, opening a few to air out the room. As he did so, he told you, “They say that good airflow and fresh air help the thought process. We air out the classrooms between every lesson so the next students won’t get too tired.”

“I don’t think I’ve opened any windows in here since I first moved in,” you confessed before turning back to your laptop. Before you could your train of thought again, a soft fabric was placed on your shoulders. You looked up to find him smiling at you brightly. “So you won’t get cold.”

“What about you then?”

He shrugged and winked. “I’ll just consider this my daily walk in the park.” He then looked around the apartment again, as if looking for something to do. You couldn’t help but find it endearing.

“Maybe… you could… make me a cup of tea?” you suggested.

He lit up at the idea. “Coming right up!”

Before heading to the kitchen, he leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead. It seemed almost like a reflex – like he didn’t even need to think about doing it.

Relishing in the leftover warmth of his lips and the feel of his hoodie on your skin, your work took a backseat for a while. Instead of thinking about your project of a lifetime, your brain was drowning in one singular question. You glanced towards the kitchen to watch him, a smile appearing on your face as you did.

“Seokmin?” you called out softly after a moment.

He hummed in response immediately, eyes lifting from the cup he was preparing so he could offer you an encouraging smile.

You took a deep breath. “What are we?”

He paused. “What do you mean?”

“You and I. What are we to each other?” you wondered, unable to look away from him. There was something you badly wanted to hear him say and yet feared at the same time. “What are you to me?”

The corners of his lips twitched. “I… I’ll be whatever you’d like me to be.”

“Whatever? A friend?”

“If that’s what you wish,” he breathed out, a little shakier than before.

“What about a lover?”

He smiled. “If you so wish.”

“Then… what do you want me to be?” you asked him quietly, a part of you praying your words would go missing in the incoming wind before they reached him.

“I just…” He bit his lip in contemplation, ears turning red, and avoided your eyes.

“What do you want me to be to you, Seokmin?” you repeated your question, a little bolder this time, hope sparking in your heart.

He looked up again, into your eyes. “Mine.” You let out a breath – of relief or fear, you weren’t sure – but he didn’t hesitate when he repeated, “I want you to be mine.”

You felt guilty for the words you’d utter next. “But we don’t have the time for that…”

“That’s okay,” he assured you with a kind smile. “We’ll take it slow.”

“Slow? How slow do we take it?”

“As slow as you need. I’m not leaving.”

“I signed up for the auditions,” he told you over breakfast a few days later. “Jihoon’s helping me prepare.”

You were still neck-deep in your project, struggling to meet the deadlines and coordinate your team. This seemed to lead the asleep you to Seokmin’s apartment more often than not. It was almost like you woke up in his bed every morning now.

But even in your despair, you couldn’t help but be excited for Seokmin.

Your eyes lit up and a squeal came out as you grabbed his hand over the table. “Really? You did?!”

He used his free hand to rub the back of his neck bashfully. “Well, you said I should give it a try, right? Who knows,” he shrugged, trying his best to seem nonchalant or even fake a little bit of confidence, “maybe they’ll give me a part.”

“I’m sure they will,” you insisted, squeezing his hand. “Your voice is amazing and you’re so handsome – the ladies are going to swoon when they see you on the stage.”

He laughed. “Will you be one of those ladies?”

“I’ll be in the front row,” you solemnly promised. “At every show. You’ll get sick of seeing me.”

“I could never,” he assured you.

Seokmin’s audition would take place two weeks later. You made sure the mark the day with a big red circle on your calendar – on all three of them, in fact. And now it was time.

Between your seemingly endless stream of project complications and Seokmin’s daytime job and audition preparations, you barely saw him. If it weren’t for your persistent sleepwalking problem, you wouldn’t have seen him at all. And so, the curse had became a blessing.

“You’ll do great,” you assured him minutes after waking up in his bed. You made sure to give him the warmest hug before letting him leave the room. “I believe in you. And so does Jihoon, apparently.”

Seokmin pouted. “Did he say that or are you lying to make me feel better?”

“We talked yesterday,” you told him, appalled that he’d even accuse you of such atrocities. “He said he has complete faith that you’ll do well.”

“I don’t believe you but–”

“Do you want to fight me? Already?” You raised a brow and he shook his head immediately. “Exactly. Just accept the compliment. And don’t forget to call me when you finish, okay?”

“Of course,” he promised.

He kept that promise. Just as he stepped out of the theatre, his shaky hands picked up the phone and chose your number.

You answered the call with prep in your voice. It had been a good day so far and you were expecting to hear his no-doubt joyous retellings of the audition.

What you weren’t expecting was: “Can you come get me? I think I might cry.”

“Why, why?” Despite your words, you didn’t hesitate to slam your laptop closed and grab your jacket. “Are you okay? Were they mean?”

“They weren’t mean,” he mumbled on the other side of the line, “but I don’t think I did well.”

“I’m sure you did wonderful,” you spoke while rushing down the street. Thankfully, the theatre was barely a five-minute walk from your office – half that at your current pace. “You’re just putting yourself down over nothing.”

Seokmin whined. “You’re seriously overestimating me.”

“Don’t be silly.”

“No, I’m serious. You overestimate me.”

As you crossed the street, you noticed a familiar figure dragging his feet along the pavement, head low and shoulders slumped. “Now why would I do that?”

“Because you like me a little more than you should,” he suggested while kicking a pebble. You could already hear his voice even without the phone. “I’m sure the directors think I’m a joke or something. God, I am so–”

“Don’t you dare say another bad word about yourself,” you scolded him with a gentle slap against the back of his head.

He stared at you in bewilderment – both from the fact that you might as well have appeared from thin air and the fact that you just did that.

But you were unrelenting in your affection for him. “Lee Seokmin, listen to me: you did absolutely great. You did your best. And even if you don’t get a part this time, they’ll value the fact that you now have experience with auditions. Take it in stride.”

Tears gathered in his eyes. Before long, he pulled you into his embrace, holding you impossibly tight. “You’re just saying that… Thank you.”

“That’s what I’m here for, silly,” you laughed and hugged him back just as tightly. “I think we should celebrate this occasion.”

“Even if I screwed up and don’t get the part?”

You scoffed. “Absolutely! A little cake can make everything better, no?”

He sighed. “I don’t think I can eat right now. I might throw up from the nerves.”

“Drink then?”

He contemplated and then straightened up. “I could go for some bubble tea…”

“There we go!” you cheered and gently pinched his cheeks, prompting a small giggle. “My treat because you did so well today and I’m so proud of you.”

This time it was you who grabbed his hand without any hesitation, more than happy to reassuringly squeeze it as you walked and talked.

“When will you get the answer?” you wondered.

He sucked in a breath. “In about a week, they said. Or maybe never–”

“Seokmin,” you scolded.

“In a week,” he corrected himself with some enthusiasm. “I’ll get answers in a week. And then I might actually cry.”

“And I’ll be there when you cry tears of joy, darling.”

“Tears of joy?” He raised a brow and smiled in disbelief. “You seriously put too much faith in me.”

You nudged his side. “As if you haven’t been equally supportive about my promotion.”

“Oh, right,” Seokmin gasped, “won’t your promotion interview be in a week too?”

You would’ve preferred he didn’t remind you. Then again, you guessed it was only fair.

“Will you come over to hold me when I cry too?”

“Tears of joy?” he teased and leaned over to kiss your temple. “I’ll be just a call away.”

The week somehow passed at both the pace of a snail and the pace of Junhui on a sugar rush.

After finding you in his bed every single morning, Seokmin resorted to just sleeping over at your place, tightly cuddling you to keep you in place. He now had a whole drawer dedicated to his things in your bedroom.

The day started okay. You were awoken not by a loud alarm like you had expected, but by Seokmin gently singing you awake.

For a moment, you thought you had died and gone straight to heaven – maybe working so hard to save the environment had paid off after all, you thought. But no, it was just your reality.

What a beautiful reality. You couldn’t help but smile as you cuddled into his chest.

“If you keep clinging onto me like that, I won’t be able to make my famous waffles for a lucky breakfast,” he whispered but made no attempt to push you away.

The delicious breakfast was followed by an encouraging hug on the way out of the building, him to the school and you to the office. You wore a smile the entire time.

Up until you made it to your desk. Then the reality began sinking in.

This was the day that could make or break your career. The day you had worked so hard for that you neglected your private life for so many years.

As the clock on the wall slowly ticked forward, your hands began to shake. Your throat was dry. Your head was fuzzy, full of nothing but anxiety. If someone had asked you about anything, you would’ve only been able to stare at them with a mouth wide open.

20 minutes until your scheduled interview. You were starting to feel sick.

When another colleague came to give you a supportive pat on the back, you excused yourself and grabbed your phone to rush outside to the balcony. You sat on a chair and willed yourself to take deep breaths as you tapped on his number.

You wanted to slap yourself when you realised that you hadn’t even bothered to check if he was on break yet.

But he answered on the first ring. “Hey, what’s up? Did you have the interview alread–”

“Seokmin, I can’t do this,” you whimpered into the microphone. “I can’t do this. They’re gonna realise I’m an idiot and they’ll fire me and–”

“Woah, woah, what happened to your positive can-do attitude?” he wondered. “You’ll be fine.”

“No–”

“(Y/n),” he said your voice so firmly that your breath got caught in your throat. “(Y/n), you will be fine. You’ve worked there for so many years, you’ve achieved so many things. If they wanted to fire you, they would’ve done that by now.”

You took a shaky breath. “What if it’s an elaborate prank?”

“Why would– Baby, listen to me. You’ve worked hard. You put everything you had into that project – I was there, I saw it. You and your ideas are invaluable to your company. They’re going to ask you a few questions as a formality and they’re going to give that promotion and then you and I are going to go to a celebratory dinner and it’ll all be over.”

“And I can get a dog?” you whispered, a small smile tugging at your lips.

“You can get two dogs if you want, baby,” he laughed. “You deserve it. Don’t underestimate yourself. I believe in you and I’m sure your co-workers do as well.”

“How do you always know the right words to say?”

He laughed once again. “Baby, I’m a teacher. I’m literally trained to comfort people. I’m just glad I’m able to comfort you as well.”

“Thank you.”

“No need,” he responded, “just go and ace that interview. Okay?”

“And then you’ll come and wipe my happy tears?”

“You already know the answer to that question. But I expect the same treatment when I get my audition results.”

“Will do.”

“Go and get them, tiger.”

You weren’t sure what it was, but something about the conversation seemed to have lifted the weight off your shoulders. When you walked back to the office, the upcoming interview no longer felt as taunting.

As the clock hit 2 pm, you squared your shoulders, took a deep breath and headed to your manager’s office.

When the day ended, you found Seokmin standing in front of the office building, a blinding smile on his face.

“Well?” he asked expectantly, though the look in his eyes said that he had every faith that you would only give him good news. You were glad to prove him right.

Your coy smile was replaced with joyous laughter as you ran to hug him and called out, “I got the job!”

“You got it? You got it!” he cheered with you, jumping up and down with you in his arms, not far from spinning you around in the air. “I knew you would! What did I tell you? Silly you,” he let you out of his hold to place his hands on your cheeks and pull your face closer to his own, “you thought you wouldn’t get the promotion. Look at you now. I’m so proud of you.”

You breathed out in relief. The smile seemed to never stop tugging on your cheeks. “I’m so relieved I could cry.”

“Then who will dry my happy tears?” he teased with a bright smile.

You tilted your head in confusion. “Wait–”

“I got the part,” he whispered, his smile only growing wider, eyes sparkling. “I’m going to become a musical actor, officially.”

“Oh my god!” you practically squealed and now it was your turn to hug him and jump. He was glad to join you, laughing in glee. “I knew you could do it! I knew it!”

As joy got the best of you – and who could blame you: this was the happiest day of your life so far –, you grabbed his face and pulled him closer to you to press your lips against his own. He melted into the gesture, arms wrapping around you tighter as if to will the moment to last forever.

When you pulled back, just enough so that your noses touched, he laughed in disbelief. “I thought we were supposed to take it slow?”

“Screw taking it slow,” you whispered and kissed him again. “Might as well make it a triple celebration.”

“I like the sound of that.”

BONUS !

While practically leaning out of their open window to watch you and Seokmin kiss under the streetlights on your way home, Jeonghan and Sunny argued.

“I told you they would get together,” Sunny declared, her eyebrows raised as if to dare her boyfriend to prove her wrong.

Jeonghan scoffed. “Please. They’re just kissing. It could be casual.”

“Just say you don’t want to owe me 20 bucks.”

“I don’t owe you 20 bucks! We have no confirmation!”

“Jeonghan, listen here–”

“No, no, you listen–”

“Both of you listen here!” Chan bellowed from the window above them. “If you don’t stop arguing right now, I will report you both to Jihoon’s parents! Some of us are trying to sleep!” Silence followed. “And pay her the 20 bucks, Jeonghan. They’re clearly together.”

Jeonghan grumbled and glared upwards before fishing a 20 out of his pocket and handing it to his smiling girlfriend.

#caratland #to be loved by lee seokmin is to receive a love that transcends lifetimes #god. my poor heart #how am i supposed to find love in uni when a whole deekay exists…

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seijorhi · 4 years ago

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asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

#ask #anon #rhi answers #ohh so many asks #i love you guys <33 #fic q's

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jtrbluv · 4 years ago

Note

ok in ur fic teaser i looked up the rumored love triangle and can someone tell me why a 20 y/o was even talking to a 17 y/o in the first place 🤨 or did she just like him??? now u have me invested 😭

okay be prepared i am going to attempt to explain this in the least amount of words possible (ik i’m going to fail so i’ll put a read more link!)

edit: i didnt realize how much i actually knew abt this shit this is so sad. i didn’t even search any of this up.

another edit: i probably said it below the cut, but i’ll say it again. take this story w a grain of salt!!! i am just compiling rumors and absolutely none of this is confirmed to be true LMFAO

all my sources come from tiktoks upon tiktoks that i was forced to scroll thru ever since drivers license came out HAHA. so sorry in advance for any inconsistenciesskjdjsjde. from what i remember, when they were filming the first szn of hsmtmts (high school musical the musical the series aka the show they were together on), i think olivia was 15 and josh was 17 at the time???? rumors started of them being together bc they just appeared a LOT closer than friends and the endless videos where josh would just simply stare at olivia like she was the only person in the room (honestly so endearing). they also wrote multiple songs abt each other even though they never actually confirmed this. ofc i don’t think they ever officially confirmed anything period, but they also didn’t deny any of the rumors so we just all assume that they were together at one point.

fast forward and josh is legal, liv obviously is not. liv releases a short snippet of drivers license after she gets her license last summer i believe. she mentions crying thru the suburbs alone and all that fun jazz so we all assume that she is single and josh is out of the picture. halloween of last year, josh posts a tiktok with sabrina carpenter! aka the blonde girl! (btw i love sabrina like sm i love both girls to death) and yeah we all assume that josh moved on. pretty sure they were both spotted by paparazzi at some point as well.

to sum all this shit up, everyone is under the assumption that josh promised he would wait til liv was legal (she is turning legal this month deadass), but he broke his promise and moved on. liv was sad about the ordeal, and wrote her feelings into a song. a banger may i say. an overplayed one as of now, but banger nonetheless.

once again NONE of this is confirmed to be true by any of the three. this is all theories made by a bunch of gen z’ers bc we are bored and like to divulge ourselves into drama bc we aren’t personally apart of any. um yeah. IM SO SORRY ANONIE U PROBABLT DIDNT WANNA KNOW RHIS MUCH ABT DISNEY TEEN LOVE TRIANGLE DRAMA. ily tho and hope u have a great rest of your day/night <33

#asks #anonie #f: drivers license #should i even tag it with this LOL

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hausofmamadas · 1 year ago

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GODDDDDDDD OKAY PPL NEED TO STOP WRITING OCs THAT I END UP BECOMING OBSESSED SITH BC IM OFFICIALLY OBSESSED WITH AURORA

═

✸ Aurora stomps past him into the kitchen and begins to pull at the drawers, furiously in search of something. Maybe a knife or a meat hammer to kill him with after how he ‘embarrassed her’ at the police station

PFFFFTTTTT DJJD A MEAT HAMMER TO KILL HIM WITH, I AM FUCKING CRYYYYINGJDJD right out the gate, and you have me cackling bc like something about the fact that it’s a meat hammer is so specific, it could only be something thought by a SO

✸ He can’t blame them: she’s even more gorgeous now. Even now when she looks like she might murder him ...

ofc she is bc Javi knows, as I’ve known for over a decade now nothing in this goddamn world is hotter than a woman who will step on you for free

✸ “I’m what, Javi?” she snaps. “Infirm, feeble? Incapable of protecting myself? If you’re so goddamn scared that I’ll do something stupid, why did you decide to have a kid with me?”

OH HELL YES, GO OFF, GOOOORL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:!!:FUCKINGGGTTT YES, PUT THIS PATRONIZING-BUT-HIS-HEART’S IN-THE-RIGHT-PLACE MF IN HIS DAMN PLACE

✸ “First of all I’m not worried. Second of all, you’ve not been either of those things a day in your life.” That’s not true. He knows it even before he says it, that there was a long time in her childhood were she wasn’t able to protect herself.

Nothing like a bit of riveting and tragic backstory to really just hit me between the eyes like a fucking dodgeball that I did not, in fact, dodge bc I did not, in fact, see that shit coming

✸ “He was only 12?” He knew there’d been a kid peddling drugs involved but assumed it was one of the high schoolers. In his mind, he sees the boy that pointed a gun at him when he cornered one of Escobar’s men.

OHHHHHHHHH NOFICKFIGGIIFJRNEJEBWISISJW NO YOU FUCKING DID NOT JUST PUT THIS DETAIL IN THERE YOU MF LITERARY GENIUS, YOU IM— LIKE RHIS HAS BROKEN ME FOR SOME REASON!!!!!!!!!!!! I think it’s the attention to detail, the way you can tell writing jAvi is just in your bones, like ighhhhhhhhdheh

✸ “You’re my wife, that’s our baby, I’ve seen enough people die to last me a hundred lifetimes,” Javier lists the reasons, ticking them off one finger at a time. “A little bit of concern about your well-being is kind of part of the deal.”

Fuck, y’know my first instinct is to immediately say any display of concern is patronizing but when you put it this way........... that moment when I’m sitting here being like, oh am I the asshole? *shrugs* probly. Oh well KEKW

✸ “Funny, seeing as I’m not allowed to be concerned about my husband when he’s snooping around town, asking about those deliveries coming in on the water.”

“That happened once,” he dismisses.

“Twice,” she counters, “that I know of.”

OH👏🏽HELL👏🏽FUCKING👏🏽YES👏🏽 That i know of, bc Aurora is not only passionate and courageous, she’s also Paying Attention as in Not Deluding Herself bc she’s Not A Fucking Dummy unlike Javi, much of the time sksksksks shhhhhh javi, don’t cry bebe, you know i love you

✸ “Don’t you fucking lie to my face, Peña.” He knows he’s in trouble when she uses his last name.

SKSKKSSKKJSKD literally it’s like that same thing where when your parents call you by your first, middle, and last name, you know you’re completely fucked bc they mean BIZ👏🏽NESS👏🏽

✸ The sight of her full lips pushed forward drains what little self-control Javier had left.

Not me ksksks just sitting here cackling bc my first thought was, “what little control javi has”.... what would that be exactly, maybe more than a drop but less than a dollop aka not fucking much

✸ Javier pats the counter. “Get up there,” he gruffs. She hoists herself onto it, his hand at the small of her back keeping her from knocking over the salt and pepper shakers.

Idk why but the physical detail of the salt and pepper shakers is something that puts me so in the moment, I actually felt like the inside of my mind took a trip through a wormhole in the universe directly to this exact moment, as if it had actually happened in the show? Also the lowkey soft-dom way Javi instructs her to do that..... live surveillance footage of me reading that ➜ 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

✸ “Off,” he orders. He’s already been reduced to one-word utterances but when his love, his wife, pulls her top down and somehow manages to unclasp then throw aside her bra he forgets both the English and Spanish languages in their entirety.

STTTOOOOOPPPPPP SKSKSKS I AM HOWWWWLING SKKSKSKSKSKSKSKSDKJEKSKSKSJ HE FORGETS BOTH THE ENGLISH AND SPANISH LANGUAGES IN THEIR ENTIRETY nomination for Day 1’s mvp line of the day

✸ She leaves wet kisses along his neck and at the hollow of his throat, leaving sparks in the wake of her lips.

Oh now you’re just showing off you multilingual tropical fish bc the number of times I’ve tried to come up with like poetic or non-cliche ways to describe necking, this is my brain, fully just

So the fact that like you speak TWO WHOLE ASS LANGUAGES fluently or at least two that I’m aware of is making me shake my fist at the sky like an old man shakes his fist at those pesky youths playing on his lawn BC THE FUCKING SKILL RIGHT HERE GOD I COUKD ACTUALLY KILL YOU IF I DIDNT NEED YOU TO CONTINUE SUPPLYING ME WITH THE JAVI CONTENT I NEED

✸ “I still can’t believe you scolded me in front of the cops,” she mutters, face buried against his chest.

“Yeah?” Javier replies. “I can’t believe my pregnant wife inserted herself into an ongoing robbery.”

SKSKSKSKS what a fucking way to end the fic, finally telling us exactly what it was that Aurora did which is as badass as I was expecting after teasing us with context clues the entire fic sksksks also Javi, such a smartass, que sea un sabelotodo de lo peor, no puedo con eso😂

Infuriating

Narcos fic! It's been a long time. Written for day 1 of the Narcos fandom smut alphabet over on @narcosfandomdiscord

Fandom: Narcos

Rating: Explicit, 18+

Words: 1 473

Pairing: Javier x OFC Aurora

Prompt: angry sex

Warnings: smut, fighting, mention of narcotics and mules, implied chilldhood trauma, pregnancy

Tag list: it's been forever since I wrote for this fandom, so I don't know who to tag anymore

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Javier’s question is punctuated by the front door slamming shut. Aurora stomps past him into the kitchen and begins to pull at the drawers, furiously in search of something. Maybe a knife or a meat hammer to kill him with after how he ‘embarrassed her’ at the police station, though he can’t say he understands why a concerned spouse showing up to get their loved one home is embarrassing.

“I was thinking that someone was in trouble,” she says through gritted teeth. “A kid by the sound of it.”

“Aurora, you’re-” Javier cuts himself short, instead gesturing awkwardly to the swell at her stomach. She’s only just started showing and after the first time she set foot at the grocery store in a fitted t-shirt the Peña house has had to field more calls from nosy townspeople than the goddamn DEA ever did. He can’t blame them: she’s even more gorgeous now.

Even now when she looks like she might murder him, it’s a struggle to keep his mind from wandering into thoughts on the quickest way to undress her. Aurora straightens herself, spins on her heel to glare daggers at him.

“I’m what, Javi?” she snaps. “Infirm, feeble? Incapable of protecting myself? If you’re so goddamn scared that I’ll do something stupid, why did you decide to have a kid with me?” He puts a hand on his hip, raises the other in a ‘hold your horses’ gesture.

“First of all I’m not worried. Second of all, you’ve not been either of those things a day in your life.” That’s not true. He knows it even before he says it, that there was a long time in her childhood were she wasn’t able to protect herself. And he most definitely is worried about the two of them: his wife and the little girl that he’s seen in his dreams. Aurora’s face falls for a second. He almost goes to apologize for having, indirectly, brought up the past but stops himself as he knows she’ll only be more upset by it. It’s a mistake Javier has made before. Aurora picks herself back up, her brow returning to its pinched state and she huffs at him.

“I’m fine, baby’s fine, and oh,” she snarks, “the 12-year old that was about to get robbed by some asshole is also fine, thank you for asking.” Javier pauses.

“He was only 12?” He knew there’d been a kid peddling drugs involved but assumed it was one of the high schoolers. In his mind, he sees the boy that pointed a gun at him when he cornered one of Escobar’s men. Aurora huffs even louder.

“Yes, Javier. He was a little boy.” Shit. Javier rubs his eyes. They just keep getting younger and younger. First it was pregnant women swallowing balloons and now this. When he looks up at Aurora she’s got her jaw set in stone, arms crossed over her chest so tightly he’s tempted to say she’s hurting herself.

“You did good,” he admits, begrudgingly so, “but I’m still angry with you.” Her face contorts.

“Well, I’m fucking pissed at you!” She spreads her arms out wide, gesturing to the empty air as she closes the distance between them. “Where do you get off thinking you can scold me like I’m a toddler stealing cookies?” The anger, temporarily dampened by the realization that there’s a 12 year old moving drugs in Laredo, returns full force to Javier.

“You’re my wife, that’s our baby, I’ve seen enough people die to last me a hundred lifetimes,” Javier lists the reasons, ticking them off one finger at a time. “A little bit of concern about your well-being is kind of part of the deal.” Aurora steps forward. She’s so close he can see the gold in her eyes. How long has it been since they had a moment to themselves? The ranch has been overrun by out-of -town family for the better part of a week, and before that Aurora suffered brutal morning sickness. He wraps his fingers around her scarred left arm, even more tanned and warm from a long day in the sun, tugging her closer.

“Funny, seeing as I’m not allowed to be concerned about my husband when he’s snooping around town, asking about those deliveries coming in on the water.” Even as she makes the snippy comment, she steps into his arms though her eyes are hard as they meet his gaze.

“That happened once,” he dismisses.

“Twice,” she counters, “that I know of. Don’t you fucking lie to my face, Peña.” He knows he’s in trouble when she uses his last name. Back when they were with the DEA they always used each other’s last names, it was just how things worked. That shifted dramatically once she moved to the ranch.

“Don’t you fucking get in the middle of ongoing robberies,” he retorts. Her braid has started to come undone, dark curls falling around her ears and framing the sharp cheekbones. She pouts, saying nothing. The sight of her full lips pushed forward drains what little self-control Javier had left. One hand still around her arm, he brings the other up to cup the back of her head and presses his lips to hers in a harsh kiss. There’s no moment of hesitation, no pause where he thinks she might reject him and walk off in a huff. Aurora wrings her arm free from his grip and wraps them around him. He doesn’t even realize she’s pulled him along until there’s the low thud of her back hitting the counter, a grunt escaping in a pause between kisses. Javier pats the counter.

“Get up there,” he gruffs. She hoists herself onto it, his hand at the small of her back keeping her from knocking over the salt and pepper shakers. Thank God she wore a dress today. She’s still settling in when his hands begin to wander up under the skirt.

“You’re infuriating, querida,” he grumbles as he finds her heated core, covered by damp cotton.

“Shut up.” She punctuates it with a bite at his neck. He cups her sex, feels blood rush to his crotch. He braces himself against the counter with one hand, the other at her hip. It’s a struggle getting her panties out of the way, with her shifting this way and that to tug them down and him so desperate to touch her that he can’t keep his hands to himself. She takes care of his clothes too, unzipping the jeans and shoving them down to his knees. She pauses to squeeze his bulge - big golden brown eyes staring at him. She’s still mad at him, though there’s love there too. Absolutely infuriating. His boxers join the jeans, erection curving up towards his stomach. Aurora takes him in hand and he groans from deep within his chest. Her legs hook around his waist, keeping him close, but even if he could pull back he wouldn’t want to. In fact, he wants more. Javier grabs at the shoulder strap of her dress, snagging the bra strap underneath it as well.

“Off,” he orders. He’s already been reduced to one-word utterances but when his love, his wife, pulls her top down and somehow manages to unclasp then throw aside her bra he forgets both the English and Spanish languages in their entirety. With her guiding him, Javier pushes into her in one swift motion. It’s sloppy, rushed, tinted with anger, desperation and the awareness that Chucho won’t be gone forever. Javier loves it all the same. Is grateful for her very existence as well as for how she clutches him in her cunt. She leaves wet kisses along his neck and at the hollow of his throat, leaving sparks in the wake of her lips. A familiar heavy feeling begins to build in his crotch and he’s not sure if he’ll be able to hold it at bay for long. Throwing aside the skirt that’s draped itself over her thighs, Javier reaches between them and grinds the heel of his palm against her clit. Aurora jumps.

“Shit,” she curses but he knows it’s a curse uttered in appreciation. His hand there is the extra pressure she needs and soon she’s shaking beneath him, building to her peak, and when she comes she flutters around him as her teeth sink into his shoulder. Another two stumbling thrusts and he follows with a growl and eyes squeezed tight as if his life depends on it. They stay there, wrapped around each other, as if they have all the time in the world.

“I still can’t believe you scolded me in front of the cops,” she mutters, face buried against his chest.

“Yeah?” Javier replies. “I can’t believe my pregnant wife inserted herself into an ongoing robbery.”

#screamblog #no but forreal #people need to stop writing such dope OCs #I only have so much time in the day to be completely fucking unhinged about fictional characters #but also like no keep going skskdkdk #narcos fanfiction smut alphabet #nffsmut alphabet #netflix narcos #narcos #javi x reader #day 1 #angry sex

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astralshipper · 4 years ago

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Ok time to watch new supernatural ep since I couldn’t watch live. Liveblog and probably tears below, enter at ur own risk!!

Oh god okay wait why are they being mean to that lady it’s a soup kitchen ofc she isn’t perfectly clean she’s HOMELESS, be NICE TO HER-

Okay good giv her soup!!!!

Oh shit walking down the street alone is BAD NEWS WHO IS SPEAKING

what’s up with rhis show and teddy bears- WHAT THE FUCKCNDJJDD YWAH WAS WAITING FOR THAT ONE ALRIGHT BYE KID

OK I STOPPED FOR A WHILE BC CAS SHOWED UP I GOT EXCITED BUT JACK IS SUCH A SWEETHEART I LOVE HIM HES SO EXCITED ABOUT MATCHING TIES AND HES STILL GOT HIS BADGE UPSIDE DOWN

jack has the talking teddy JACK HAS THE TALKING TEDDY I LOVE THIS SO MUCH HES SO CUTE WHAT A BABEY

Jack is looking him up on social media he really is gen z OH MY GOD “I NEED A PARENT OR GUARDIANS PERMISSION” “YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION” “I HAVE HIS PERMISSION!!!!!”

Cas there’s no such thing as too many cat photos

THIS DEMON WANTS TO HELP SO BAD IM CACKLIGNGN

YEAH STAY!!! Pls don’t make me regret being excited abt u two staying to help!!! I just want father son bonding!!!!

tag urself im the shitty mask

For fucks sake “at least for once it’s not us” FUCKING STOP

“WHERE CAN I FIND THE KOOL AID” JACK PLEASE-

U aren’t allowed to walk away from jack he’s a sweetheart smh. also hdjdjdjdn jack cas yall ain’t slick

GOD DAMN NAH JUST KILL ME ITS FINE ILL JUST DIE PLEASE also. Gotcha. Seven deadly sins ndndjd

jack youre such a sweetheart I care abt u so much

“I have more dads than most” IM SCREAMING I LOVE U TINY BOY BUT DONT PUT UR TRUST IN GOD DONT DO THAT JUST KNOW THAT UR DADS LOVE U!!!!!

I’m thriving on the Cas and jack content here this is all I’ve ever wanted pls dont make Cas go bye bye BC of this just let us have this one last go

fam if I’m going to hell for wanting to kiss girls then bring on the hellfire fuck all that noise castiel is not homophobic he is utterly indifferent to sexual orientation and Chuck is bisexual we have been OVER THIS-

Sam bringing home that bad news- HOLY FUCKINGNG SHIT JJFJ HI AUNTIE AMARA

I think Amara just called u guys stinkie. Amara can I pls get lunch with u I wanna have lunch with u!!!

Cas telling his story to the group why am I cryigg NG nggn,,, I JUST WANT HIM TO B HAPPY BUT HE CANT BE BC HE’LL DIE

HOLY SHIT HOW DID- WHAT THE FUCKCJVJJFJ WELL THATS QUITE SMTHN TO SEE

I gotta say. I understand that Amara not helping is terrible. But,,, I get it,,, yknow? He’s her brother. Her TWIN. Of course she won’t betray him that easily.

Mans gonna b dead

Yep! He gone!!

oh. oh dean is asking about HER. oh. Holy shit I’m gonna cry ok oh god OH GOD DEAN MAD!!!! HES PISSED. DEAN IS SPITTING TRUTH EVERYBODY RUN FOR THE HILLS. “I would never hurt you” why did that line hit me so fucking hard,,, I know what he’s doing, I know he’s lying, I know he’s using the cover that jack will be pulling the trigger to say he’s telling the truth. But like. Fuck that hit hard jfjffjf that felt comforting somehow, even though he fully prepared to rip someone’s head off

OH SHIT ITS SOFT GIRL???? DAMMIT OF COURSE IT IS. OF COURSE ITS SOFT GIRL.

OH I LOVE WHEN THEY TRY TO HURT THE ANGELS. CAS HEAL CAS HEAL IM FUCKIGNN CRYINGG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. “WHAT ARE YOU” BITCHHC I CAN S E E THE “IM AN ANGEL OF THE LORD” HE DONT HAVE TO SAY ITI CAN SEE IT IN THOSE EYES

CAs pls stop saying ur not a good angel ur an AMAZING ANGEL. THE BEST. wtfbfjfjjf

NONONONONONONO FUCK THIS FUCK THIS SO MYCH FUCK THISSSSS JACK YOU CANT YOU CANNOT WHAT GHE FUCJJ CAS TELL SAM AND DEAN TELL THEM RIGHT NOW

CAS NO NO MO YOU BETTER MAKE IT BACK YOU BETTER MAKE OT BACK PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE MAKE IT BACK IM FUCKIGNGN BEGGING YOU JUST ONE MORE SCENE WITH EVERYONE TOGETHER. JUST ONE MORE. PLEASENFNFJFJ

#supernaturally soulmates #astras dumb shit #hunter in-laws #ethereal family #dark sheep of the family #astra watches s15

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domesticateddog · 4 years ago

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last night i dreamt that we lived at our very first house where i lived from ages ~2 to 12 (i think?) and also where we found our blue russian cat Pooh Bear outside of our house. and i dreamt that i went outside at night and found him hiding in the bushes or something and picked him up and was sobbing about how i thought he was gone and that we’d never find him again but in my dream i thought he was injured or something. it didnt last long and i know it was a mix of relived trauma & grief from how he unexpectedly passed away a couple years ago (he was my love) and how upset i am for this bird Bluebell i follow on ig who went missing after he opened his own cage an has been gone for over a week now. i ugly cried a couple of times for that bird, maybe im sensitive but i just feel his owners grief through me and i desperately want him back. so it’s a combo of both of those feelings. also recently i was thinking about how good Pooh Bear smelled since he was an outdoor cat and smelled like the forest behind our house and how ill never smell that again (sorry if that’s weird but i miss him ok?)

i know now obviously that cats should go outside and all that but he would not stay in the house, he learned that if he peed on things my parents would let him outside so he peed on EVERYTHING until someone let him out. i wish we never did bc of how he died but i can do anything abt that now. but anyhow, it made me sad again. i dont know if he visited me bc it didn’t feel extremely real and why would he come back in such a traumatic fashion..? my oldest cat Boomafoo who also passed away a couple years ago for sure visited me in a dream bc i knew she was gone in it and i could feel her presence . she was on the porch of my first house and i was in the living room and we had rhis big screen window separating us and i knew in my dream that it was sort of a physical dream manifestation of why i couldnt touch her. so we just stared at each other and i tried touching her through the window but couldnt so she just sent me love with her eyes. i knew that was real. again i know i sound insae but whatever i know what i felt and i know how i feel now.

#this is me venting nobody has to read this bc itll make me sound insane so whatever #vent #i guess #for some reason hittinf enter skips like 5 lines and counts it as one line it’s so annoying #does this post have really big spaces inbetween paragraphs or isbit just my phone?#long post #?

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thisisformetoyellintothevoid · 4 years ago

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I went basically through my entire life having anxiety/social anxiety and never really talked about it with anyone, not even my family or friends. And yet, for some weird reason I still just assumed that everyone knew that I had something going on... skipping school bcs I felt too anxious to go sround people, getting physically ill for doing presentations etc. And yet, when I had a mental break down in front of my parents and cried for hours after getting it triggered by a driving lesson and the sheer stress of both driving and other stuff that had been building inside of me, my parents were otterly dumbfounded to find out I was struggling pretty bad mentally.

At first they tried to tell me it was okay that I didnt know how to drive probely yet and I was practising and I tried to tell that there was more to it that I didnt cry for hours bcs of a failed driving lesson and suddenly it was just "??? Really? Why?" And after I sat down to talk with my mom (my dad just steered himself out of the conversation, not out of malice or anything, he genuienly just doesnt know how to deal with stuff like this) it suddenly dawned on me that my parents just... handt noticed or realized that im not simply shy, but I have genuine struggles with social anxiety and anxiety in general.

I remember my mom asking me how long has rhis veen going on and me just being???? My whole life?? Wtff. But I didnt dare to say that so pluntly to my mom cause I got eorried she would blame herself for not noticing. BECAUSE! I realized in that moment that all my anxiety as loud as it is in my head, doesnt actually show outward at all???? Which is why everyone keeps telling me how chill and calm I seem as a person, but I always just assumed that I looked as tense and scsred as I did feel on the inside. But it doesnt.

Nor did i ecer really talk about my anxiety with anyone, well, bcs of anxiety :))))) and also because of the way i was raised and was not taught to deal with my emotions when growing up. I dont think my parents really ever talked me through my emotions or outbursts as a kid but just rather left me be by myself until i calmed down and then just went "alright, your calm now. Lets continue and not talk abt this". Which let me have a lot of problems with expressing myself and understanding and handling my feelings... just basically shutting them down as bad and repressing them rather than talk abt them...

I also realized how disappointed I was to my parents handling their daughter having a mental breakdown. Like, my mom is a nurse in a mental hodpital. She works with people who have anxiety and depression and she helps hhem overcome those and offers therapy etc. and she did the same for me which i am grateful abt, but when it came to just simple comforting and soothing, there was none of that. I cried in front of them and neither of them thought to give me a hug or physical comfort and i am bursting in tears as i am writing this, bcs it just feels really bad thinking that parents just couldnt offer their child that... if i was a child they would have scooped right into their arms, but as an adult i just... dont need thst i guess...

I know that it is the way they were raised too and they both have gheir own childhood trauma and ways they were raised around negative emotions and physical affection, but it still pains me so much...

And i am more disappointed in my mum, bcs she knows about anxiety and depression. She knows how it affects people, where it comes from, she studies it every day and she talks with people who experience with it every day and yet she still is unable to offer me the things she knows that i need.

After a few weeks or months after the incident she did sometimes ask me vaguely how i wss feeling and something but now she doesnt anymore. And it feels bad bcs i dont know if she has forgotten or if she just assumes that im better now bcs i havent cried in front of her. And at the same time i want to talk to her, but i dont know how or where to start. I ooened up to my sister about my difficulties and she actually offered me a hug and she opened abt her own struggles and i felt so happy and loved.

Idk, i just feel like my parents are not ready enough to go outside of their comfortzone to check on their kid and it just... makes me so sad.

#rambling #anxiety #depression

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beartes22 · 7 years ago

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This is hilarious and i would read a book only of your ocs

Petty Things My OCs Do

All right so quick intro :

Arashi Hokkaido,my OC, is an immortal mutant. He wasn’t born that way though, he got cursed by a powerful witch. His mutant ability grants him the power to see and manipulate electricity, but he ONLY sees electricity. Otherwise he’s blind. When he was a young homeless man many centuries ago, he accidentally angered a witch who had cursed his village with a plague. He survived the illness, and in her rage at his survival, she cursed him to live forever. Her exact words were “ Until the very last star in existence burns out, you, boy, shall remain. Your wounds will heal, your body will not age. You will survive , and you will long to join your wretched village in death. ” It’s been a lonely 5,000 years since then. Arashi has spent much of it becoming an expert at being alone, or so he’s tried. Turns out he has a soulmate, one destined to be reborn eternally . And as much as he tries to avoid said soulmate, they ALWAYS find him. But the thing is, the witch knows about the soulmate thing . And she often goes out of her way to kill his lover .

( Desmin is a special kind of bitch )

Desmin , a powerful witch who uses her magic to torment others for the fun of it. She made a deal with a demon and now is effectively immortal because her soul and heart are hidden away in heavily magically protected locations, and in order to kill her you have to destroy her heart and soul at the same time. She’s spent the last 5,000 years slowly killing off or tormenting anyone Arashi comes to care about.

- Arashi always manages to find out where Desmin is living when she moves , and immediately sends her an obnoxious amount of water chestnuts. She’s violently allergic

- Desmin once set a children’s home on fire because she found out Arashi’s soulmate was among the children.This backfires because Arashi puts out the fire AND adopts all 34 of the children living there.

- Arashi frequently creates huge scandals to get Desmin run out of town or in legal trouble , and once he actually enlisted a friend of his ( the sister of his soulmate ) to dig up connections to a string of murders Desmin committed.

- Desmin sent her familiar, a white tiger, to kill his soulmate in the 1960’s . But Arashi managed to tame it and because he treated the tiger kinder than it’s master, the tiger stayed with him and Arashi’s soulmate only suffered a concussion and a gash in the arm. He still has the tiger. He named her ’ Zen’.

- Arashi once crashed Desmin’s wedding in Italy back in 1876. Claimed to be her estranged son and loudly announced to the whole wedding party that she’d murdered her former spouse and made off with his fortune ( which was in fact true, but she was much madder about him pretending to be her child. )

- Desmin was planning on destroying a town in order to have enough human souls for a dark spell , Arashi got wind of it and so got a sorcerer friend of his to transport the town elsewhere.

- Arashi pays several personal shoppers to go through every store within 100 miles of Desmin and buy the entire supply of size 7 footwear because he knows she won’t shop online and distrusts having anything mailed to her ( largely because of him and his squad of prankster friends)

- Arashi found out Desmin wanted to get a cat so he just notified every petstore and adoption center he knew of that Desmin was into dark magic and had a history of animal abuse , AND adopted every cat the town she lived in at the time for good measure. ( He’s rich he can do such things. He’s a genius who’s patented a lot of technological marvels)

- Desmin started a smear campaign against him and he retaliated by being so charitable and courteous his city elected him mayor. She can’t ruin his reputation now, the guy’s started 47 nonprofit children’s hospitals, personally paid off the debts of his city’s college students, given scholarships to poor youths , created a medical center for the poor and underprivileged that’s entirely free of charge, runs 12 large animal shelters that are non-kill , and donates large sums to foundations like Make-A -Wish . And he and his husband are the proud parents of 12 orphans and one biological child ( It’s complicated, Renji is actually a clone of Arashi. ) Their large home is also a homeless/youth shelter for anyone that needs it.

#so i grant him eternal life -shut the fuck up Frank did you know whay onhad to gove up to remain young and beautiful? not my eyes bitch #anyway i grant inmortality and this is how he pays me? i was gonna marry big frank! i had plans! it wasnt even world domination #shut up Frank town domination is a completely harmless pursuit i tell you. all that feudal lords do it. i am a feminist ahead of my time #such a burdem i bear frank you wouldnt understand with your patriarch bigotry-infested lacking braincells #and he claims he is my son?? MY SON!? please as if some mortal fuck can impregnate all this awe-inspiring bod #(yes she looks like irma. her self confidence is her best trait truly)#the nerve of that boy frank i should decapite his soulmate again #i mean i dont even know why he gets sl angry at that. its not like the little shit wont be born again #i swear to you that soulmate thing is like the period of satan. you bravely endure it then it pass but then it comes back time after time #and you can feel it frank. inside you #toring at your uterus like a infuriated nasty cat #so you kill it and then comes bqck and arashi is just that guy you know -creepy boy to be obssesed with your periods but what can you do-#hes just that boy that doesnt understand your pain. so you kick him in the balls and tell him #you could called it #Curses witches and other annoyances for inmortal life #(-99999999/10 would not recomend)#or sth like 'A witch cursed me what should i do? well karen idk petty revenge maybe'#srly this is hilarious #like from the evil witch pov #(which i imagine is very similar to irma as the cirsed inmortal is to kronk and maybe kuzco can be the tiger or the soulmate #i did not think rhis far)#and she makes kt all sound reasonable-like and is so offended #its like that but worse" and he gets so angry #so angry that you finally killes your period and kinda asaulted him but really not bc he was asking for it #that he claims to be related to you and foils your plan and dreams and ambitions #i am a hardworking witch frank i do not deserve this kind of treatment. i deserve an empire of a crown bc with age comes wisdom #so im very wise and able to make this town and all the town the best they could be. yes with me as their goddes i deserve it dont deny truth #and this arashi fuck is an ungrateful shit so full of mysogistic views and period-like bf that he is hallucinating my faults (i dont know #them) just bc we have different politycal views. tbh his benevolent dictatorship is not so different from mine #(i was going somewhere but your oc is kinda adicting and i have may accodentally made her another personality trait or twenty? sorry)

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bettysnooze · 7 years ago

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9, 13, 16, 8, 10 !

10. which muse is the most fun to write for?

already answered here !!

16. which muse is most willing to fight another muse?

depends on what they do tbh but like if this is ‘fighting for no reason’ than definitely makaria, and if it’s bc they’re an isle kid or like half-animal then it’s otto

and ofc makaria and otto would just 100% fight each other

~*~*~*~*~*~ okay so somehow i got all the long ones kjhbfevkhe so READMORE for otps/notps and How I Met My Muse (also since this got so long i’ll answer 13 on another ask!!

8. what is each of your muses otps? notps?

so this is gonna be like ‘i once shipped them’ and ‘so many crushes’ (I’LL USE THE SLASH)and it could have been for like five minutes or five weeks so pls welcome to my mind

betty otps: betty/ranon, betty/happiness, betty/feeling-protected, betty/melissabetty notps: like romantically every other guardian kid bc she is literally their mother/sister

veronika otps: VERONIKA/NOELLE, also veronika/a-good-loving-familyveronika notps: veronika/not-good-loving-families

makaria otps: MAK/BAIN, mak/talon JHBCVKDJHFEBJ A MESSmak notps: mak/stress

hershey otps: hershey/ophelia, hershey/self-care, hershey/self-confidence omfghershey notps: hershey/self-destructive tendencies

cestrum otps: cestrum/misty, cestrum/relaxationcestrum notps: cestrum/lola (i stg this was a crackship idea once and lord almighty)

aiwei otps: aiwei/juniper, aiwei/happiness, aiwei/finding-out-more-about-his-family, aiwei/BECOMING-A-REAL-BOY-BC-HE-WAS-ONLY-A-BABY-WHEN-HE-DIEDaiwei notps: aiwei/confrontation :(

otto otps: otto/common-sense, otto/open-mindednessotto notps: otto/any-of-his-dreams-coming-true, otto/winning

illyria otps: ROLLY POLLY OLLY (illyria/ronan), illyria/the-sea, illyria/comfortillyria notp: illyria/not-being-near-the-sea (this is happening rn jfc), illyria/discomfort

kirsa otps: uM KIRSA/SHEN (SHIRSA???? SHIH TZU???), kirsa/talking-about-her-emotions-instead-of-passive-aggresively-making-them-into-playskirsa notps: kirsa/not-being-honest its an issue

dignan otps: dignan/being-himself, dignan/darcy CAN I LET THE POOR BOY LIVE ? NO ?, dignan/FUTURE BOYFRIEND WHERE ART THOU, dignan/baseball the real otp thodignan notps: dignan/closeted

helen otps: helen/swords, helen/coranza, helen/angel, helen/shae, I GOT SO MANY, helen/being-herself, helen/no-responsibilitieshelen notps: helen/keeping-things-to-herself :(

penelope otps: penelope/money, penelope/being-soft, penelope/coming-to-terms-with-her-horrible-upbringingpenelope notps: penelope/being-selfish jcvnfklrfjvbwr

9. why were you drawn to each one of your characters?

( BETTY ): i knew tasha and rhi from a previous rp we were all in, and they’d played guardian characters too and i aLWAYS wanted to play a guardian character but i didn’t have any ideas back then, but then they were like “hey you should join us” and i was like “BOY OH BOY”. sandy was always my favourite guardian, and i had just finished rping a daughter-of-morpheus character so dream powers were like my thing and boom, betty mansnoozie was born aka the sweetest, most good character i’ve ever written. ALSO i’ve always had sibling-ish relationships with rhi so like the betty/jake relationship goes back a LOOONG way

( VERONIKA ): after betty i knew i wanted a darker character, and i was like “okay so who is like completely unforgivable” and i immediately thought of rasputin. there was also another rasputin child around at the time, and they had gotten rasputin’s powers so i was like!! what if i made a kid that wanted those powers, who wanted to be a villain and to be like their parent?? veronika’s gone a long way since then and really like i’m so proud of her and i love her so much, she’s just gone through a lot i lOVE HER

( MAKARIA ): SO OKAY LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT ME AND HADES BECAUSE HONESTLY, THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR YEARS. i first played a character based on panic (hades’ sidekick) like aaaaages ago, and then i played actual disney hades in another rp. needless to say i really fucking love hades as a character. and betty was too nice, and veronika was too cynical and kept to herself, and i really wanted another mean-spirited CHATTERBOX (because i myself am such a chatterbox i mean look at this). i lowkey had a child of hades in a closed rp sort of situation, his name was macario (because i’d wanted a son) but the original is makaria, and i love my girls sO makaria was born. i also love zendaya, and previously hades had always been white but so much art on tumblr depicts persephone as this beautiful black woman so !! BOOM. i also wanted to try a different villain-kid-parent dynamic, because veronika ends up hating her dad but mak like 100% defends hades still like even to this day

( HERSHEY ): I WANTED A BOY LMAO and i was really into bts at the time so i’m like okay hmm where would yoongi fit in?? i re-watched wreck-it-ralph randomly and i remembered that i always wanted to try a sugar rush child so i was like heeeeeeeeeyyyy :)))). and it kinda just all fell into place because i’d also been interested in making a character that loved cars and racing (fast and the furious got me so bad). and i liked the idea of having another character with some sort of ability, and it was so interesting figuring out how hershey was going to fit into the auradon world bc he was originally virtual sO YEAH. and also the name came like in a second. FUN FACT, hershey von schweetz’s fc (in a different time before BTS took over my life) was going to be hailee steinfeld and now look at wHO USES HAILEE STEINFELD

( CESTRUM ): so after the craziness and Extra-ness of makaria and hershey i know i wanted someone more chill. i had always loved alice in wonderland i knew i wanted a son of the caterpillar because 1) alan rickman’s voice is God and 2) i always wanted to rp the caterpillar in like so many disney rps but i never got the chance lmao. so the idea for cestrum actually came even before i found the perfect fc (kibum), and it took me ages to find the perfect fc. i knew he was going to be weird and quiet but also talkative but also nOT? and just a different moral compass and way of thinking from everyone else. i was so sure about applying for cestrum and it was only after that i was like “ok but am i going to be smart enough to play this like 5000 IQ person wtf did i get into” and yEAH. also i always like making new characters with types that (during that time of the rp) aren’t so common yet, so having this stoic character was like yEAAAAAHHHH

( AIWEI ): so hershey and cestrum are my first boys and this is basically the start of my “one boy after another” streak and then i got AIWEI. the real babe. everyone’s been pretty mature so far, or like dealing with a lot of responsibility etc. and now i wanted someone who would be like a real teenager (more or less) and just have that childlike wonder and be rly innocent tbh. so aiwei is all of this, and he’s young and inexperienced but the twist was that he’s actually this boy who died in a fire when he was a baby and his father, in the underworld, resurrected him and performed some magic frankenstein stuff to make him grow older. and he’s the oldest out of all the kids but he’s been a baby 60% of this life until elder gutknecht finally got all the tools necessary to make him old and i jUST !! also i really loved that tin-man song from the wizard of oz. my actual baby, aiwei gutknecht i love him and will die for him

( OTTO ): AND AFTER ALL THE NICE, SEMI-NICE PEOPLE i was like “so what’s happening with the isle thing right now do ppl not like them like is there active resentment or what” and then i was like “what if i had a character that did the active resentment!!” and otto white was born. i knew he was going to be a jackass. i knew he was going to be anti-isle. and i knew he had to be a prince and a kid of one of the ‘original’ disney princesses. and i ended up choosing snow white because she’s technically the ‘oldest’ and there was evie and vera and i was like aayyyyy conflict. but yeah so otto was going to be the personification of fear and bias against isle kids, and i thought it’d be fun to play with that politics and society thing that i’ve never really done before. otto’s my first character that is actually irredeemably an asshole. i wanted to see how far i could go and where i could go with a character that was actively trying to not change. i was super nervous about applying for him tho bc like i knew he was going to insult a lot of people and i didn’t want to be like hated rip bUT it turned out well so YEH

( ILLYRIA ): i’ll be honest i watched pirates of the carribean and like calypso/davy jones is still the otp of otps for me. and i once had my fortune-telling phase and i saw valentine was there anD ALSO AN OPPORTUNITY TO USE A FILIPINO FC !! HECK YEAH !! and at this point i wanted to like branch out from my usual characters and try something different, to add new things about characters so i thought about illyria’s aversion to touch. and i knew she was going to be stoic and weird like cestrum, but she was also going to be charming and i wanted to see how that would go and it’s hard getting into illyria’s head sometimes but she’s like a Fave

( KIRSA ): so i watched this movie called “the darjeeling limited” and it’s basically about this dysfunctional set of siblings – one of them feels super responsible for the other two but is a big mess, the other sort is more put together but has problems he actively avoids, and then the last is this playwright who’s been in love with the same girl for like 10 years and falls in love easily. and i was like “who does that remind me of???” SO TBH the idea for kirsa first started out as a brother for the stahlbaums but then i realised there were no more spaces and i was like “tHE SUGAR PLUM FAIRY!!” and the rest is history. so kirsa is the dramatic playwright who falls in love too easily but also doesn’t know how to love properly, and she drinks and smokes and has all these vices and she’s still 17 so like what a hot mess. she’s as talkative as mak and as flirty as hershey but kirsa is less put-together and although she thinks she knows herself, she really doesn’t. she needs guidance pls

( DIGNAN ): so this really just began as a “i wanna get in on this waters family drama” business LMAO. and i love sarah’s misty so i wanted to see how it would go if she had a little brother. it also made a bit of a change because most of my characters are like the ‘older’ siblings or friends and i wanted more young people so i thought of dignan!! i also wanted a character that would be more pro-authority than other characters i’ve had before (dig’s always going to think highly of the auradon royalty bc he understands them and knows they don’t rly have much choice sometimes and that they try their best). and i chose joe keery (aka steve harrington, love of my life) as an fc bc i JUST FINISHED WATCHING STRANGER THINGS and charlie heaton was darcy, and natalia dyer was being used too and i was like hEYYY FC CONNECTIONS.

FUN FACT: dignan’s two defining things right now (baseball and being gay) weren’t even in the cards at the start, he was literally supposed to be more john watson, i’m-gonna-be-a-serious-doctor and like be fun but a guy who loved to study. but now he’s sporty and he’s figuring out this new part of himself and he’s literally my actual favourite character right now i love dig so much. also i needed a character that would 100% share my love for the 80s (hershey loves 80s music but only sings to annoy ppl so its not the sAME). and now dig has the hair and the fashion sense and he loves 80s music too man.

( HELEN ): the idea for helen really began with like this ‘bodyguard’ idea. i wanted a character that was like 100% protective. they were going to be this warrior, trained-as-a-child kind of person, and they were gonna be connected to royalty. i first tried this with kirsa but that didn’t work out, and then i tried it with dignan but he was too soft and easily persuaded tbh he can never be mad at his royals. and then i thought of tangled (and the mess the hoods and the greenes were in at the time LMAO).

helen was first gonna be max’s child (for the full guard effect) but then i saw a space opening for rapunzel and eugene’s child and !! and then she became princess warrior, who wanted to protect her people rather than rule them and LIKE WHO DOES THAT REMIND ME OF??? PRINCESS LEIA ORGANA THAT’S WHO so seriously fun fact, a lot of the inspriation for helen is leia. and i chose the name ‘helen’ because of helen of sparta, a beautiful woman who started the longest war, and together with the fact that helen is very much a fighter of wars rather than the starter (and she has low self-esteem rip) its so fun i love helen, my sword princess child

( PENELOPE ): so i have an asshole auradonian, and mak is like simmering down, i knew i wanted an asshole isle person. and mak/blythe have such an awesome friendship and i loved blythe’s character and all the people in the cinderella family and world and i knew i wanted to get some of that action ;)))) so i rewatched the 2015 movie (I LOVE CATE BLANCHETT SO MUCH) and then i rewatched ‘ever after’ which is this 90s cinderella movie with drew barrymore. after watching ever after, i knew exactly how i wanted this daughter of drizella to be like. she’s going to be the worst parts of mak and kirsa (they’re bitches but like nice ones) and just be this snooty sugar baby gold-digger. she knows exactly what she wants, she knows she’s going to get it. she’s part daisy buchanan, jordan baker, very much this hedonistic character who understands life as being good if you have money and status. such an old idea but it’s what she learned from her fAMILY.

a lot of penelope’s character came from me wanting to explore what i’d found with otto, the unapologetic asshole, but now she had reasons to be. otto’s rich and gets ltierally everything he wants so he sucks even more because he’s still mean-spirited – but now we have penny, who grew up with nothing but wanted everything, and her grandmother and mother put all their hopes and dreams on her, told her not to associate with her nicer aunt and cousin and even her little sister – and she’s an asshole. literally guys penelope is going to change and become better i just dunno how yet but shE WILL

13. what’s a weird headcanon you have for each of your muses?

THIS ASK GOT WAY TOO LONG ALREADY, BUT I GOT THIS NUMBER IN ANOTHER QUESTION SO I’LL ANSWER IT THEEEEERE

#the whole 'why were you drawn to ur characters' thing #eventually became like 'A History of Ally'#jehbvkwhebvkrhje #I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS #christ it got so long #i can literally write essays about my kids #ooc;#missingapulse #m

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