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liveyourlastbreath · 2 years

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Neil Josten’s adventures in Exy as an (unwilling) Amputee (PT4)

Welcome to book two things are only getting worse from here. Also sorry about this taking so long, I'm not gonna pull an a03 level excuse, this series is just hard to write as I have to write it as I read the book and ya girl has bad adhd

Sunday morning, Neil wakes up to pain shooting up his missing leg. A strange sensation of throbbing and burning racing around in bones that had long since rotten down to dust

Seth’s death is a blissful distraction, something Neil clings onto to push the pain down

Wymack tries to get the team together that afternoon, which ends in a flat out brawl between Matt and Andrew

Neil knows better than to stand against Andrew, but when the blonde's knives are out and aimed at Matt's eyes he steps in, hands out to the both of them but not touching

"Neil, Neil, Neil," Andrew grind. "Surely you're not this dumb?" It hurt to stand but the idea of loosing Matt at the start of the season was enough to keep him steady.

"Andrew." He wasn't ordering him around, threatening him, Neil was simply asking him to stop. And Andrew listened.

By Wednesday the pains had subsided and he was able to deal with the upperclassmens confused glances with a clear mind

"Last I checked Andrew doesn't like you.""He doesnt." And Nicky butts in, "we needed someone to match Kevin don't worry about it" and then gets told off by coach

Pratice starts happening and then when Wymack gets the phone call the conversation is as follows: "Andrew Joseph Minyard, what the flying fuck have you done this time?" "It wasn't me it was the one legged striker!"

Blatent Harrasment, actually just bullying

Life goes on as normal, honestly the beginning of the Raven King is a bunch of exposition we already know

Allison shows up for the game Friday, the line gets switched up, and Neil highly doubts it’s gonna end well. Especially with Andrew going a full game without his meds.

Also in case you’re wondering, Neil brings both legs to his games. He always has his black slip on so changing the bottom half of his gear out is pretty easy. If he ever has to change the slip, he’ll do that in the stall. He doesn’t ever play on his day leg, the blade runner is a lot more comfortable and is better to run with on the court.

When Neil asks Kevin for advice against the Terrapins, Kevin’s response is. “I want you dead on your foot by the time the buzzer rings.” Just little changes like that happen a lot because everyone in this story is in fact a dickwipe

Herrera, Neil’s mark for that game, keeps making comments about him and his leg. At one point Herrera “accidently” slams his racket into Neil’s leg and it sends vibrations all the way up his stump. Then Neil is given permission to destroy him and does just that.

Ya know that cool move he does and nearly gets killed in the process? Yeah imagine that, but he slips his blade runner in there at just the right angle to send Herrera flying into the wall. He doesn’t get carded. Instead lights the goal up red and a triumphant smile breaks across his face.

At half time Kevin is chewing Neil out, ya know, “Injuries are not joke-“ “Oh my god really? *looks down at his leg* woah crazy, would have never guessed that one.”

Once again the story goes on, Neil feels joy for the first time, gets a phone again and flashes back to the beach party gone horribly wrong, same as the cannon series

Also can we just stop and talk about the phone scene in the locker rooms? It has to be one of my favorites, not gonna lie. It's just so them ya know? Like just the dialogue, the subtle "do we need to" before diving into their game again. AGH I love it soso much

"your parents are dead, you are not fine, and nothing is going to be okay. This is not news to you. But from now until May you are still Neil Josten and I am still the man who said he would keep you alive."

The USC game happens, and THEN DUN DUN DUNNN the Fall Banquet is here!!what!!a!!fun!!time!!

It's at moments like these Neil is thankful for his missing leg. Riko last saw him with two functioning appendages, and on top of the hair dye, contacts, and time apart, he could almost find hope in the fact Riko wouldn't recognize him

As the teams are sat across from each other, get talking, and this conversation happens:

Andrew: I'm Andrew. We haven't met yet."

Jean: For that I am grateful. The Foxes as a whole are an embarrassment to Class I Exy, but your existence is unforgivable. A goalkeeper who doesn't care if he is scored on has no right to touch a racquet. You and Josten both should stay on the sidelines like the publicity stunts you are."

Renee: That's a bit out of line, don't you think?

Raven 1: If someone like that replaced you in goal, you must be downright terrible. I can't wait to watch one of your matches. I think it will be entertaining. We would make a drinking game of it but we don't want to die of alcohol posioning.

Dan: Yeah, that'd be a shame

Renee: This is the first time our teams have met, do we have to start off so poorly?

Raven 1: Why not? You're poor at everything else you do. Even down to picking players like the cripple over there. Is it honestly fun to be so terrible?

Renee: I imagine we have more fun than you do, yes."

Jean: Fun is for children-(has a moment of crisis upon looking at renee) A this level it is supposed to be about skill, and your team is sadly lacking. From an unstable goalkeeper to a lame striker with a bum leg to a couple members with deadly drug addictions. You have no right to play with us.

Allison: Fucking excuse me?

Matt: No one wants you here, you can leave any time.

Raven 2: You took something that does not belong to you. You brought this year's humiliation on yourselves.

Dan: We didn't take anything, Kevin wants to be here.

AND THEN, Riko: Is that why the cripple is so quiet? Or did his vocal chords go missing too? He was very spirited the last time we met, or maybe that was just a show for the crowd? Hello, I am speaking to you. Are you really going to ignore me? Hey, deadweight, over here.

THE HOLY MOTHER WYMACK OF ALL LINES Riko: What a coward, just like his mother.

INDEED THE GREATEST LINE IN ALL OF WRITTEN HISTORY (WITH A BIT MORE SASS ADDED)

You know, I get it. Being raised as a superstar must be really really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human being, nor a single person in your family thinking you're worth a damn off the court—yeah, sounds rough. Kevin and I talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time. I know it's not entirely your fault that you are mentally unbalanced and infected with these delusions of grandeur, and I know you're physically incapable of holding a decent conversation with anyone like every other normal human being can, but I don't think any of us should have to put up with this much of your bullshit. Seriously, is 'cripple' the only insult you know? Maybe next time be a bit more creative, it really shows what little vocabulary you have. Try looking it up in a dictionary maybe, hm? Find it right between the words 'jackass' and 'dickwipe'. But don't feel bad, there are a lot of people who didn't pass the bar exam and they still get somewhere in like, all be it through charity alone. Pity only gets you so many concessions, and you used yours up about six insults ago. So please, please, just shut the fuck up and leave us alone.

aND THHEN our little tin foil ball of a sass master is outed as the Butcher's Son to Kevin, Kevin's face doing all kinds of complex emotions as he examines Neil

Also I love the little things like Neil staring only at Andrew because he doesn't trust himself to look at anyone else

Neil's freaking out, ready to grab his blade runner and book it. But he doesn't really regret most of what he's said, because here's the thing

Every single person up until this point has gone out of their way to call him a 'cripple', to write him off as someone who can't do anything anymore just because he's lost his leg

Nobody, except for the Foxes, believes he's anything more than an amputee. Up until this point he has been torn to shreds because of something he had absolutely no control over. Yeah, okay, it was stupid to put himself in the limelight as someone on the run, but it had nothing to do with being an amputee.

Neil Josten may be an idiot, but going off on Riko was completely justified, something many of the foxes later agree on. And if the Foxes start snapping at anyone, reporter or another team, who singles Neil out for his leg, that's something they just don't talk about

Neil Josten is so much more than a lost leg. Anyone really is more than a lost limb or physical limitations. That's the whole point of this AU and the message I really want to get across.

To the people reading this who may be in the same situation as Neil, you are so, so much more than your physical limitation. This AU is for you, someone who may have been bullied or targeted just because you're "not like everyone else". I see you, and I believe in you.

SORRY AHEM—I just wanted to ramble there for a second because I felt like that was something that needed to be said

So YEAH, Neil doesn't regret what he said, and goes forth after dinner is done, the Foxes have a team bonding moment over protecting the two exy-holics and their blonde bodyguard

Neil gets dragged away to go get screamed at by a little baby bird

Neil: My name is Neil

Riko: Do not lie to me again. You will not enjoy the consequences. Imagine my surprise when the results came back. Your fingerprints, Kathy gave me your glass as a souvenir. All it took was a smile and a kiss. It seems she is growing up to be quite the cougar. Nathanial, explain a few things to me. One, Jean says Kevin did not know who you are. After seeing Kevin's reaction I am inclined to believe him. Perhaps I can understand, as I know how blind Kevin can be when it comes to Exy. I might even forgive him for sheltering you from me. But you must know who you are, so I am very, very curious to know what you think you are doing.

Neil: I'm just trying to get by. If I'd known our families were business partners I wouldn't have signed the contract.

Riko: You're lying

Neil: I am not. I don't want to cause any trouble for your family. I don't want you to cause any trouble for mine. I'm just here for a year and then I'm gone, I promise.

Riko: You don't want to cause any trouble for my family? You have already cost my family a sizable fortune and eight years of trouble.

Neil: How? The money I took was my father's.

Riko: If you think acting stupid will save you, you are sadly mistaken.

Neil: I'm not acting, my mother said it was my father's money. She never even told me about you. If I had known the money was your's—

Riko: Nothing your father owned was his! I refuse to believe she never told you. All that time running and you never asked why?

Neil: Have you met my father? I didn't have to ask.

Riko: You were not running from your father, Nathaniel, you were running from his master. Which brings me to my second question, what happened to your leg?

Neil: Take a wild fucking guess

Riko: (beat) You do realize why don't you?

Neil: Because he's insane?

Riko: You're an even bigger fool than I thought. Running from the master and the money he took, there could have been one thing that paid them off. You, Nathaniel, and yet he chose to take your leg. Your father cost my family a fortune and cut off any way of paying it back.

Neil's head is spinning by the time Matt shows up. He barely remembers the rest of the night, his mind too consumed by Riko's words and the implications of who his father really was.

He takes his leg off on the bus, digging his knuckles into the knotted flesh of his father's work, thinking. He had always known his father was a monster, and this just really put it into perspective.

A text shakes Neil out of his half-asleep state, hand still digging into his knee. A single text is on the screen, from Andrew.

"Shocking, just how many issues such a small body can have."

Neil glares at the back of the bus. "Could say the same thing about you." And that's the end of it

PART ONE || PART TWO || PART THREE || PART FOUR || PART FIVE COMING SOON!

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purpleshadow-star · 2 years

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The Aftermath

Read on Ao3

Andrew's hand gripped at the wall of the stall he was in as he heaved into the toilet bowl under his face for the umpteenth time in the last three minutes.

He spit one last time and banged a closed fist against the stall wall in frustration.

Usually, he had more time. Usually, he was able to make it through the whole game without feeling like he was going to be sick. Usually, there was enough time for him to bask in his sobriety for the few minutes between the end of the game and taking his pill again.

This time, the game wore him out.

Andrew knew he was an amazing goalie. It’s the reason he was recruited to the Foxes in the first place. Andrew knew that he could shut out almost any team they went up against if only he chose to put in the effort.

The Ravens, though. The Ravens were on a completely different level. No one had ever scored thirteen points on Andrew. Sure, Andrew had blocked the other 137 shots that the Raven made on his goal, but the fact that they were still able to make so many goals was a testament to how much they wore him down.

Already feeling weary from his withdrawal during the game, the Ravens’ incessant attack on his goal expedited his nausea to the point where Andrew had considered puking right on the court once the game ended. He had settled for sitting and decided to keep his sick for the toilet.

After another round of heaving, Andrew leaned against the stall wall. Faintly, he could hear a door opening and the rest of the Foxes entering the foyer. Wymack was no doubt giving some rousing speech about how he was proud of their performance.

Andrew didn’t care for Coach’s dramatics, but the fact that he had to miss his speech because he was stuck in a toilet stall emptying his stomach infuriated him. Andrew hit the stall wall again as he felt another round of vomit begin to work its way up his throat.

Andrew didn’t care about Exy. He really didn’t, but he was used to having it be something he could control. Again, Andrew was no stranger to his talent. Ever since discovering his uncanny abilities in juvie, Andrew had played Exy in a way that ensured he always had control. He could choose whether or not to put in effort. He could control the score. Exy was Andrew’s way of having control over something. Having control the way he never did growing up.

It was agonizingly unnerving to lose that control, especially to someone like Riko Moriyama.

Andrew was used to being able to control the score in any Exy game he played. Today, Andrew threw any target score out of his mind and focused on attempting to shut down the goal.

For the first time, it didn’t work.

Andrew moved off of the stall wall, heaved once more, and wondered why he was even thinking this hard about the game. He didn’t care. He didn’t.

Another heave had Andrew gripping his own leg and digging his nails in. He wanted to hurt something. He wanted to break something. He despised getting sick like this. He loathed showing this kind of weakness to anyone.

No one was in the locker room yet, but they would be soon. It was bad enough that he had collapsed to the ground in front of everyone after the game ended. Renee was the only one to see him right before he ran into the locker room to throw up, but even showing her this part of him made him uncomfortable. Andrew hated how little control he had over his body right now.

Control.

It was all about control.

Andrew used to have no control, back when he was in the system. Now, he had the means to take control over anything he needed to. The medication was a setback, for sure, but he took control back when he signed with Wymack. He took control back when he negotiated to come off of his meds for games.

At that moment, Andrew had no control over anything. He tried to keep in his nausea, but his body betrayed him. For the past hour, he tried to control the game, a feat that had been so effortless before, to no avail.

Andrew needed to take control back.

He thought about the last time this happened. The last time he had gotten this sick. He had destroyed the lounge. It was gratifying.

In the tiny bathroom stall, there was nothing to destroy but himself. Andrew spit up some more stomach acid, any food in his system having already been thrown up, and clawed at his left arm with his right hand until his armband shifted down a few inches, away from the crook of his elbow. He felt along the ridges with a harsh finger as a shiver wracked his body.

He felt hot and cold all over. He could feel his body shaking and his knees aching from kneeling for so long.

He despised this.

Eager to do visible damage, Andrew shifted from rough rubbing to vicious scratching. The nails of his right hand scratched at the old scars on his left forearm. He hadn’t done anything like this in a while, since before juvie, but there wasn’t anything else breakable in the small stall, and given his current state of anger and frustration, Andrew craved destruction.

It didn’t last long. The locker room door opened and a few seconds later, a tiny pill sitting on a piece of paper towel was slid underneath the stall door. A bottle of water followed a second later.

Andrew snatched the pill up in a frenzy. His sudden movement agitated the air around him, causing the paper towel to fly off to who knows where. With difficulty, Andrew swallowed the pill dry. He then reached for the water bottle and used half of it to rinse out his mouth before gulping down the rest of it. Then, he leaned back against the stall wall and closed his eyes.

The pill was already taking the edge off of his nausea. Andrew knew it wasn’t possible for the pill to be taking effect immediately. Likely, the feeling of relief was some sort of placebo, but either way, Andrew welcomed it.

Opening his eyes, Andrew cast a bored look at his exposed forearm. The skin was irritated and red, but due to his short nails, no skin had been broken. He pulled the fabric back up, covering the skin.

He’d have to tell Betsy about his mini relapse, if it could even be called that, no matter how inconsequential it was. That was annoying.

A few minutes of sitting later, a knock on the stall door almost visibly startled him.

“Andrew? Are you alive in there?”

It was Neil, the fucking mouthy shit.

It had been long enough that the pill was starting to take effect. A smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. Mania bled into his voice as he replied.

“Unfortunately for everyone save you and Kevin, I continue to live on for another day.” Andrew replied. He stood up and flushed the toilet. Neil said something else, but Andrew paid him no mind as he watched the evidence of his failures wash down the toilet.

When he opened the stall door, Neil was gone.

With his dreadful smile making its way back onto his face, Andrew reluctantly let the mania wash over him once more and walked to his locker to get changed.

He and his family had an after party to get to, after all.

#I wrote this in like half an hour at 3am #the idea came to mind when i reread the first ravens vs foxes game #there's a line that says: 'neil assumed [andrew] was puking in the bathroom.'#and i was like 'i wonder how andrew feels about everything that just happened'#and then this was born #i hope it wasn't awful to read lol #andrew minyard #neil josten #andreil #<- like kinda but not really. neil is only mentioned at the end lol i can't write anything aftg without at least hinting at andreil #aftg #aftg fic #aftg fanfic #aftg fanfiction #purpleshadow's fics #all for the game

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godslittlesadge · 2 years

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nicky looking devastated at neil asking him "are we friends?" and tousling his hair and reaffirming reassuring him that yes they are kevin offering neil to stay sober during Thanksgiving and keep watch over him if he wanted to drink for once all of the Foxes being happy that neil would be meeting his family for christmas and supporting him (he wouldn't because they are his family and he's willing to go through hell time and time again to protect them. which he is) wymack seeing neil in his living room with his father's face the number 4 tattooed by riko on his skin neil telling him desperation in his voice "I'm still a Fox" wymack responding "of course you are" and believing it because he never doubted that

#the raven king #THIS ONE goes to the tag because they make me insane and its Your problem #OOOOOOOUGHH PALMETTO FAMILY 😭😭😭😭😭😭#aftg liveblogging

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ninyard · 3 years

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part two of the stefan/andrew au PLEASE

WELP this might not be the part two people wanted but here’s what I wanted so~ enjoy!

(Part 1 ? is here)

((this got rly long so I had to stop but if u want a third part lmk 🥺👉👈))

Neil made his first mistake by not bolting the opposite way when Coach Hernandez told him he had visitors. An Exy racquet to the chest and a single glance at those bright hazel eyes turned Neils entire world sideways in seconds. This couldn’t be happening. Neil almost couldn’t hold back the ‘Andrew?’ that wished to escape his lips. Of course, this wasn’t Stefan’s Andrew, but Neil knew that already. Life had turned Andrew Minyard into a man of manufactured emotions, a life of violence and misled decisions landing him on Coach Wymack’s pity party guest list that was the Foxes’ lineup. Andrew didn’t flinch looking at Neil, and Neil begged the universe to have erased the memory of Stefan from Andrew mind. He hung around a motel, for Christ’s sake, how many other people would he have met before and after Stefan? Neil Josten looked totally different, with puberty, hair dye and new contact lenses on his side.

The second mistake he made was not realising Kevin Day was going to be around. If Andrew wasn’t dangerous enough, Kevin was even more so. Neil couldn’t believe his eyes the moment he looked closely at the teams lineup from the previous year. Kevin Day would have forgotten Nathaniel Wesninski, he was sure of it, but to look across to a picture of the teams goalkeeper and seeing the short blond boy he met in California? It was a sure sign for Neil to stay the hell away from South Carolina.

Neil’s biggest mistake was deciding to push his luck and take a plane there to sign with the Foxes. He was signing a death wish; but he didn’t care anymore. He was a dead man walking, living off stolen hours. It was only a matter of time before someone caught up with him. His mother was dead, god, his mom, Mary Hatford, the woman who taught him how to be. It wasn’t just like Debby, who died leaving Toronto, or Alice, who died leaving London, or Judy who died on the train between Germany and Prague. This was permanent, and Neil didn’t think he could run for much longer.

Andrew didn’t say anything during their meeting, in which he had plenty of opportunities to at least look like he recognised Neil, or the features of Stefan still left on his face. Kevin didn’t say anything either, and his words made it clear he didn’t remember Nathaniel, either. Neil was walking a thing line between life and death, with Stefan on one shoulder and Nathaniel on the other, waiting to tip him over, to expose the truth, to leave him buried like his mother.

The first night Neil slept - or more so lay on the couch in silence for hours, brain filled with noise and regret - in David’s apartment, he couldn’t stop thinking about Andrew. He couldn’t stop thinking about the kid with white-blond hair and a toothy smile, who ran his fingers so gently over Stefan’s skin, like he would break if Andrew dared get any closer. He couldn’t stop thinking about the playground, and the motel, and the kisses… and the punches, the kicks, the pulling of hair, the slaps across the face with yells to accompany them. Before Neil knew it he was stuck with his face hovering over the toilet bowl, his stomach threatening to burst at any moment. After a minute of gagging and spitting into the water, Neil washed his face and headed towards the balcony that David told him to smoke on if he needed to. This was one of those needing to moments.

Weeks went by without any indication he was going to be caught. Kevin looked at him like a stupid amateur, which was good for Nathaniel’s sake, but for Neil? Neil, who fought like his life depended on the racquet in his hands? Neil, who ran like his father was hot on his heels every single time he set off down the court? It hurt him to be insulted so often, but Kevin was leagues above him when he played. Neil was never going to be good enough. Andrew avoided him as much as possible. Nicky told him that was just how Andrew was; if you brought him no benefit, or if you made him bored, he would put you on a high shelf and never look at you again. By the way Andrew only spoke to Neil when Neil stood up to Kevin, Neil thought it was obvious that Andrew didn’t recognise him.

And then came the invite to Columbia.

“Get rid of the contacts, by the way.” Nicky had brushed off the realisation like it was nothing. It sounded like ‘you have something in your teeth’ but felt like a screaming siren above Neil’s head. It felt like a punch to the gut, like a gun to his head. “Andrew’s decision. And brown, Neil? You’re so predictable and boring it’s adorable.” He’d left a bag of clothes with Neil.

When Neil looked at his blue eyes, he felt too many feelings he couldn’t describe, or name. He felt like he was looking at his father. He felt like he was looking into the mirror like he had the last time he was Nathaniel. The last time he was in Baltimore. He’d cycled through the catalogue of contacts during his time on the run, but never once went back to blue. They were the icy eyes of a murderer, not the eyes of quiet, boring Neil. But at least they weren’t green. Neil was worried about Kevin recognising him by his eyes, but it was going to be dark out by the time they left. Neil would just have to stay in the dark around Kevin, and hope he got too drunk to notice, too drunk to remember.

When Andrew’s group came to pick Neil up, there was a change in dynamic Neil hadn’t seen before. Instead of Nicky being the middle man in their conversations, or Kevin being the reason to talk, Andrew was taking charge of their night. Neil’s heart raced every time he looked into his eyes. Every time he heard that voice it told him to run, the same voice as before, only deeper, emotionless. Neil couldn’t imagine this Andrew crying. Neil couldn’t imagine this Andrew being open, about his sexuality, or his feelings. If he didn’t look almost the same only older, he would probably doubt this was even the same Andrew.

“Oh! Oh, now, that’s interesting!” Andrew had commented as Neil left his dorm room. Nicky, Aaron and Kevin had walked ahead of the two of them. When they’d disappeared around the corner into the elevator down, Andrew turned and grabbed Neil’s face to inspect it. “What a change, hmm? Blue to brown is a bit drastic for fashion, don’t you think?”

“I’ve never liked my eyes,” Neil spoke through the fingers that rested over his lips. “I’ve worn them brown most my life.” Andrew tutted as Neil spoke, but left that thought there. His features were angry, like Neil had insulted him, but he S miled like he’d been talking to his best friend. He placed a cigarette between his lips as they joined the others in the elevator.

Before long, they were walking through the doors of Eden’s Twilight, music pumping and swirling through the air, vibrating their bodies as they walked. Andrew motioned for Neil to follow him to the bar once they’d found a table.

“Shots on me.” He’d come down from his manic high, waiting for his dust adrenaline to kick in. His smile was gone, but his tone and way of speaking was still the same. “What do you drink?”

“I don’t,” Neil answered, having to yell over the music.

“Sure you do.” Andrew waved him off. “I’m being polite. What do you drink?” He asked again, as the bartender came over.

“A coke for me.” Neil told the man behind the bar before he could ask Andrew. “Just a little ice.”

“See, now, Pinocchio, when someone offers you a gift you say thank you and accept it.” Andrew turned towards the man. “Roland. This is Neil. He’s a newbie.”

“I hear you,” Roland nodded, already placing shot glasses on the tray he’d put on the bar. “My choice, with dash for the new kid.” He poured a clear spirit into eight shot glasses, and used the fountain tap to fill a larger glass with cola. Andrew passed cash over and waved off his change as a tip. Before Neil knew it he was heading through the crowd, Andrew balancing the tray on one hand held high above his head. They reached the table and nothing has spilled, and before Neil knew it, the shot glasses were stacked in a tower on the tray as Neil nursed his coke.

“You don’t drink.” Andrew turned to Neil after watching the others take to the dance floor, coming up on their high, dusting when they couldn’t be seen. “Why?”

“Hate the taste, mostly.” That would be the truth if ‘taste’ actually meant ‘feeling of being out of control of my body’. He shrugged at Andrew’s dissatisfaction with that answer.

“You come to university and you don’t drink?” Andrew scoffed. “Do you smoke?” Neil shook his head. He’d tried an edible by accident once in some cafe in Europe, and got so paranoid they had to move on that night. He swore he saw his dad staring in the windows in the red-light district, a blunt between his lips, a smile made of murder wrapped around it.

“Not for me.” Neil took a sip from the cold coke. “Hard to find when it’s not legal and I hate the cops. Takes too much effort to roll.” Neil lied, like he knew what he was talking about, but he just remembered watching people in the cities he went to, everywhere having their local stoners, the folks who sat in the parks without a care in the world.

“You don’t drink, you don’t smoke, you won’t dust.” Andrew rattled off the options. “Is it molly you’d prefer?” And when Neil shook his head again: “Psychedelics? Benzos?”

“I’m just not interested.” Neil looked into his glass, focusing on the ice. If he kept looking at Andrew he felt like he would crack. “Don’t we get tested before games anyway? What’s the point?” Andrew didn’t answer before he heading back up the bar. Neil didn’t follow this time. When he came back, there was ten shot glasses on the table. Again, eight filled with an unnamed spirit that burned Neil’s nose and twisted his stomach. The other two were cola.

“I’d hate for the new boy to feel left out.” Aaron, Nicky and Kevin had arrived back to the table for their shots. Andrew handed Neil one of his glasses. Neil knocked it back when the others did. It was ordinary coke, no surprises, no weird tastes, no reason for Neil to believe Andrew would have given him a shot of alcohol instead. That was, until he clinked glasses with the others and swallowed the second shot in a quick movement. He felt the alcohol burn his throat. It warmed his chest, but the familiar feeling wasn’t what worried him. It was the taste of salt on his tongue when he hadn’t licked any before hand. He quickly excused himself from the table and left for the bathroom.

Andrew had drugged him. He didn’t know why, but all he knew was the crackers were already coursing through his veins with deadly adrenaline. He was sure his racing heart wasn’t helping. It didn’t help, either, when Nicky reached the stairs before he did, and pulled him in for a salty, dusty kiss. Neil pushed him off as discreetly as he could.

“Nothing?” Nicky complained as he Neil bounced up the sticky stairs two steps at a time. Neil was sure he heard him say something about Neil being too hot to be straight, but the roaring anxiety in his ears was enough to drown it out. He locked himself in a stall and tried to best to throw up. He hadn’t eaten before he’d left, and he hadn’t drank anything other than he soda, so his attempts were fairly futile. A knock at the door interrupted him, and when he answered with a quick ‘occupied!’ He heard the door unlocking from the outside. Andrew pushed his way into the cramped stall and shut the door behind him. Before Neil could even begin to object Andrew had grabbed him by the collar and shoved him against the wall, Neil struggling to keep his balance with the toilet in the way.

“You don’t like the taste of alcohol or you’re afraid of losing control? Telling your truths?” Andrew’s drug induced smile had returned with mischief and malice. “Let’s see how this does!” His voice was low as he spoke, with an enthusiasm to his words that made Neil sweat. When he went to protest, Andrew covered his mouth with his free hand.

“Shut up,” He clicked his tongue. “You have spent your entire extended stay here lying to me and lying to poor, gullible Coach. I see the way you look at Kevin, too. Either you’re lying about not swinging or there’s something deeper to that intimidation.” Neil tried to get out a ‘I don’t swing.’ Before Andrew shushed him again. “Don’t keep lying, newbie! One last chance at honesty.” He lifted his hand no more than an inch from Neil’s mouth. Neil was sweating, his hands shaky, his mind turning into fog, desperate to cling to any sort of euphoria it could find. When it’s search came up empty, it filled his stomach, his head, his hands, his feet, with anxious buzzing instead. He couldn’t ignore the nauseating feelings the drugs brought with them.

“I don’t swing,” Neil stood his ground. “I don’t.” Andrew brought his hand up to Neils hair and yanked him down to his level, hard. He kept an inescapable grip in his curls as their faces almost touched.

“Still don’t know?” Andrew pouted in fake-pity. “Ten years later and you still don’t know?” Neil’s stomach would’ve fallen from his body if it’s got the chance. His heart would’ve went with it when Andrew continued. “There better be a good reason for Neil existing, Stefan, and I can’t wait to hear it.”

“What?” He tried, but it was no use. His voice failed him, cracking as the futile attempts at lying left his lips. “I don’t know what-“

“Shut up.” Andrew repeated. His grip not relaxing. Neil was worried he was pulling his hair from the root, but that was probably the least of his worries. Probably. “Do not lie to me again.” Neil searched his eyes for a sliver of doubt. A tiny, tiny possibility that he might think he was wrong. It wasn’t there. He’d been caught.

“Andrew.” He wrapped his hands around Andrew’s wrist, the one hovering over his head, muscles tense from the grip on his head. “Can we talk without ripping my fucking hair out?”

Before Neil could react, Andrew had let go of his hair, but in doing so, had swung his head with full force into the side walls of the stall. His balance finally failed him, but Andrew caught him by the neck of the black turtleneck he’d been gifted. He heard a few stitches pop, but it didn’t matter. The sudden movements turned Neil’s stomach with a violent wave, and he gagged hard, his stomach threatening to come out his mouth. He leaned over to spit into the toilet and bared his teeth at Andrew, breathing heavily through them.

“So he lives,” Andrew smiled, his pupils blown, a white-knuckled hold on Stefan-Neil’s collar. Neil was afraid he was going to pass out. His body was on fire, his mind screaming like an emergency broadcast alarm. “Tell me you didn’t know, oh humour me! I’d hate to think you’re stupid enough to come here still in possession of the memory from there.”

“I didn’t think you’d remember.” Neil didn’t break eye contact.

“So you ARE that stupid!” Andrew pushed him back, letting go of his top. Neil tried to assess his escape routes, but it was no use. He couldn’t get out of this. “I remembered little Stefan the second Kevin showed me your file. I didn’t think it would be you, surely it couldn’t be, but our little visit to fuckport, Arizona couldn’t lie to me like you did. So is it Neil, or is it Stefan?”

“Neither.” He spat out the honesty, worried if he waited, another lie would take it’s place. “But you can call me Neil.”

“Oh, no, no!” Andrew grabbed him by the neck, holding his jaw in a way that could become a choke very quickly. “Maybe I’ll stick with Stefan. You don’t get a say. You know, I thought mommy killed you.” A knife twisted in Neil’s gut.

“She’s dead.” Neil tried to breath through his unwanted come-up. “That’s the only reason I’m here. Because she wasn’t alive to stop me.”

“Did you do it?” He held Neils face like the world would end if he let go. He held even tighter when Neil tried to pull away.

“No.” That was all he said. He thought about continuing, considering the fact he was a dead man already. But he stopped himself. How could he say it was his dad without saying he was the mafias right-hand-murderer? Was he wasting his time lying?

“Didn’t think you did.” Andrew laughed, barely even blinking as he intimidated Neil. “No balls then, no balls now.”

“I was twelve.” He spat through crushed cheeks. “We were kids.”

“Old enough to be a liar.” Andrew let go of Neil’s face with a forceful push and turned to open the stall door. “You’re going to lead us outside. If you deviate or try to run I’ll kill you. I will kill you.” So Neil did just that. He led the way in silence, down the stairs and towards the exit. When Nicky stopped and excitedly asked where they were going, Neil looked back to Andrew who waved his pack of cigarettes, a smile on his face, no essence of a lie present. Neil just kept walking, kept his head down, and tried to ignore the pain on the side of his head. When they reached the outside of the club, the brisk air biting their exposed skin, Neil turned to the first man he saw, a club-goer at the top of the queue, and swung a punch up. Andrew noticed the second his hands left his sides, balled up with a plan. The man threw a hefty punch back, shouting intimidations, knocking Neil’s short frame to the ground. As quick as humanly possible, Andrew had hoisted him up, wrapped his arms around his back and twisted his wrist in such a way that a single jolt would break it. He held him in that position with one hand, putting all his strength into keeping Neil still.

“He gets crazy on tequila!” Andrew laughed, shaking his head as he took out his wallet and pulled out a fifty note. He threw it at the guy as compensation, his friends holding him back from beating Neil’s vulnerable, ballsy ass. He continued yelling as Andrew hauled him away. He grunted in pain as he refused to loosen his grip on Neil’s wrists. He walked him around the back of the club, to an empty, barely lit parking lot. He threw him to the ground so quickly he didn’t have time to stop his fall.

“Every moment I spend around you, you prove you’re much fucking dumber than I thought.” Andrew spat down, then crouching down to Neil’s level, balancing on the tops of his feet. Neil cradled his head, arms wrapped around the nape of his neck. He was sure he had a concussion. He could barely open his eyes through the pulsing blood rushing through his head, but forced himself to, to look up at Andrew’s smiling face.

“What happened?” Spit dripped down his chin, blood slowly trickling from the busted lip he’d earned himself. “What happened to that Andrew?” Andrew froze for half a second, and Neil noticed. “The Andrew who cried because he was gay? The kid who actually fucking cared about anything?”

“Oh, you are treading thin fucking ice for someone who doesn’t know how to swim.” Andrew tilted his head. “Mention another precious memory and I won’t hesitate to actually break your wrist next time.”

“Why?” He spat blood at Andrew’s feet. “Afraid somebody might remember what you’re actually like when you’re not pretending to be a sociopath?” Andrew opened his mouth at the challenge, a smile creeping up one side of his face. “Are you afraid to actually have someone around you know anything about you? I’m a threat. That’s all you care about.” He continued. “What, do you think I’ll use it against you? You’ve been treating me like shit since we met. If I was going to stab you in the back I’d have done it already, asshole.”

“Since we met, again.” He corrected the most irrelevant part of Neils sentiment.

“Let me go now and I’ll move on. You won’t ever see me again.” Neil bargained. Andrew’s eyebrows twitched ever so slightly. “This time I’ll get a chance to say goodbye.”

“No,” Andrew stopped him. “You don’t get to arrive in to my life like a tornado and disappear. You don’t get to dig your own grave and push me into it.” He bent down to get closer to Neils shaking face. “You’re going to tell me exactly what happened first. Tell me what she did to you.”

“No.” Neil strained. “I moved on. You were dangerous. You almost got me killed.”

“Boohoo, do you hear my tiny violin, liar?” Andrew grabbed a hold of his hair again. Neil let out a cry of pain, trying to pry Andrew’s fingers from his scalp. “Talk. Talk or I will get you killed.”

“My father is a very dangerous man. He’s murdered more people than there are days in a year.” Neil wiped the blood from his lips. It stung as he did so, but it didn’t matter. He took out a small stack of IDs from his wallet and threw them across to Andrew. For a second, anyone would’ve thought they were real, but closer inspection killed that thought. Andrew was holding a driver’s license belonging to Chris Angle, 21, from New York. A European passport card signed by George Debois from Paris. A gym membership from Seattle, an employee pass from Toronto, two more drivers licenses from cities across the globe. All the names were different, but they didn’t belong to different people. They all had pictures of Neil on them. Some he had long hair, short hair, an unfortunate buzz-cut. He wore a beard in some, the baby face of a teenager in others. “You aren’t the only one I’ve lied to. Don’t think you’re special.” Andrew snapped the IDs with angry force. Neil took a deep breath, knowing the last memories of his mother were buried in the face of Christopher Hart, snapped in half, just like that. He continued searching through his wallet. Deep into the card pockets of the tattered leather. He didn’t look up when he heard Andrew drop the scraps of his identities on the ground. Neil found what he was looking for and threw it again, across the space separating them, it clattering by his feet. “If my mom found that she’d have killed me herself. We ran so she could protect me. I made that so much harder on her by meeting you.” Andrew inspected the card he’d been thrown. An under-eye twitch and a slow inhale accompanied his realisation. “You want to hate me for what she made me do, fine, but it was inevitable. You were never going to be the reason that made us stay.”

Neil had given Andrew something he couldn’t bare to part with. His old wallet stayed buried deep, deep in his belongings, so well hidden his mother hadn’t even known it existed. He usually kept his current IDs on his person, and never in a wallet. It was a ticking time bomb, but Neil needed something. He needed a reason to feel, and if that was the memory of the good day his mom had had when they finally showered after weeks of baby wipes and deodorant, it was something to hold on to. Neil had to stay grounded in some sort of reality. He was on the run, sure, but the people he met, the things he’d done? They were real. It hurt to see those memories snapped on the ground like trash, but Andrew didn’t snap the memory he held in his hands.

Andrew held the library card of Stefan Montgomery. It had a faded black and white photo on it, scratched out with time. He had begged the librarian to let him have the card without taking a picture, but she had insisted it was necessary so people didn’t have more than one. In the photo was a scared little boy, a gash on his cheek, with crispy curls and a skinny face. Neil remembered walking to the library when he couldn’t find Andrew, taking out books to help him learn any of the languages he needed to know. The library in Oakland taught him about the history of Spain, and the culture in France. There was something about Stefan that Neil didn’t want to forget. He’d kept that library card safe as if it were a lifeline, like he knew it would come in handy some day.

And then Andrew threw it across the empty parking lot like a frisbee.

“She didn’t see anything.” Neil tried, as if it would help. “We left because I made a friend. Not because… you know.”

“I was not your friend.” Andrew stood up and put a cigarette between his teeth. He lit it, one puff, two puff, three puffs until it burned red. “I was never your friend.”

“You were.” Neil struggled to stand up and join him. “Don’t lie to a liar.”

“You remember it wrong!” He took a short drag and flicked ash as he spoke. “You were a toy to play with when there was nothing else to do.”

“You could’ve went home.” Neil took the cigarette from Andrew’s fingers. “But hey, I wasn’t the only one who needed to escape heavy hands, right?” He pulled the smoke into his lungs and breathed out before flicking the barely smoked cigarette away. “You were my friend. You had Stefan killed because I cared about you when Stefan wasn’t supposed to care about anybody.”

“Be quiet.” Andrew pulled another cigarette from the packet and squared up to Neil who was standing so close he could feel Andrew’s breath hot on his face. “You didn’t care.”

“Are you listening?” Neil spat again, the heat of the cigarette having hurt his cracked lips. “We left because of you. Because I let you in, and I’m sorry you were collateral damage in our war against the world but fuck, we didn’t have a choice. Do you think I wanted to leave? I was going to leave you a note, but she wouldn’t leave my side until we were in another city and Stefan was just another name in the pile. Fuck you if you don’t want to believe that. I don’t owe you an explanation but you’ve got one anyway. Tell me to leave and I’ll go. Tell me you understand and I’ll go, Andrew.”

“I waited for you.” Andrew exhaled honestly through cigarette smoke. “Every day! The fourth day I tried knocking on the door of your motel room. Fifth day a random couple opened the door and I knew you weren’t coming back. Why should I give you another chance, hmm? When you so easily could run away before, who’s to say you won’t do it again?”

“I’m not asking for another chance,” Neil head was pounding. He felt like he could pass out, his ears ringing and body jittery. “I don’t know, maybe I’m asking you to remember what I meant to you.” Andrew pursed his lips at that. He was struggling to keep his composure, like the memory of before was chipping away slowly at this version of Andrew. He was holding himself together with twitches and small fidgets.

“I hate you.” He said, coldly. He had lit his cigarette and smoked through half of it before speaking again. Neil just stood, suddenly thinking about if Kevin were to find the IDs scattered on the floor. He didn’t even think he could lie to Nicky about that. He would pick them up in a moment, but he couldn’t afford to lose Andrew’s interest in the conversation. If Neil got distracted now he could ruin every chance he possible had at reconciling some sort of relationship with Andrew.

“I hate what the world has turned you into.” Andrew snorted a laugh at Neil’s dramatics.

“Oh, you are a pipe bomb.” Andrew started to walk away, but when Neil grabbed his arm to stop him, in a quicker movement he had twisted Neil’s arm in some sort of self defence move that hurt. “You don’t have a right to touch me anymore. Keep your lying hands to yourself or I’ll break every one of your fingers.” He didn’t let go immediately.

“Do you miss it?” Neil searched Andrew’s eyes for something, anything. “Being vulnerable? Being comforted instead of being alone, blaming the world for your problems?” Before Neil could even think to keep going, Andrew had used his free hand to manoeuvre a knife from his arm bands and hold it up to Neil’s face.

“I dare you to keep pushing.” His words were casual, but a threat nonetheless. “Stop trying to control a life you left. I won’t be a scratching post for your mommy issues, runaway.”

“What did Jakub do to you?” Neil brought a memory out from the depths. As soon as the name left his lips, Andrew’s entire body hardened and his eyes turned to glass. He slashed a cut into Neil’s cheekbone without hesitation and proceeded to let go of his arm and jam a thumb into the fresh wound. “Why did you spend your childhood alone in a playground?” Neil spoke through gritted teeth.

“If you want to keep your fantasy alive I advise you to really shut up now.” Andrew pushed him backwards, a final squeeze in the gash as he did so. Even more blood dripped down his face. Andrew wiped his hands in his pants and picked up the ignored cigarette he’d dropped in the altercation. “You are going in circles. This is your last warning.”

“My mom nearly broke half the bones in my body trying to get rid of the memory of you.” Neil took his spot back up so close to Andrews face he could practically see every one of the pores in his face. He still had freckles scattered across his face, his skin soft, with faint acne scars here and there across his cheeks. “I never stopped thinking about you.”

“You should have.” Andrew threw his cigarette at Neil. “Make your choice. Run like you’re used to.” He looked him up and down one more time and turned on his feet back towards the club. Neil didn’t follow. He started to pick up the remnants of his past and he felt his nose ache in psychosomatic pain, remembering a nose-breaking punch his mother threw when Neil dared asked if they could stay. He spat again, still trying to get the salty taste out of his mouth. His hands were shaking so badly he could barely hold onto the shards of plastic evidence of who he used to. After picking them all up he had to stop, and sit down. He was afraid he was having a panic attack, and he couldn’t tell if it was because of the drugs still ravishing his system, or if it was because of Andrew. Maybe it was both. It probably was. He didn’t think he could’ve spoken the truth if he wasn’t high, but God, if he were sober it would’ve been so much easier to run. High Neil was emotional Neil, empathetic Neil, hurt Neil. He’d only had the experience of being really, genuinely high a few times, and every single time just reminded him how much he hated the feeling of being out of control. Of his nerves, his feelings, every fibre in his being misfiring and doing the opposite to what he wanted. His brain was begging him to feel the chemicals it was pumping out, but all it did was amplifying the aching feeling in his chest. He let out a noise that didn’t quite resemble a cry, or a sigh, or a grunt. It was a noise born from pain, a mixture of anxiety and heartbreak, maybe. He wasn’t sure what that felt like. Maybe this was it.

He tried to steady his breath and he stumbled across the empty lot. The booming bass from the music at Eden’s practically shook the ground as he walked, at least, it sure felt like it did. He stumbled as he reached down to pick up the library card so carelessly thrown away. It hurt him even more looking at Stefan, feeling this pang in his stomach that wished things could’ve been different. He didn’t think he liked Andrew like that, and being on the same team was just the destruction of a childhood crush. Neil tried to come up with excuses in his head to how Andrew felt, but it was obvious he had thrown Stefan into the bad memories pile a long, long time ago. Neil showing up again just ripped through Andrew’s closure, and knowing he had feelings beneath what he showed, he was probably hurting too. It didn’t seem like it, but maybe he was. Neil had put the ID away, and looked around. He had no real idea where he was, or how to get home. Before he knew it, he was sprinting away from the club, going nowhere, going anywhere but there. His head wasn’t in a place to decide that he should stay. He’s worth it. His heart raced at the thought of Andrew’s face, looking down at the long unused library card. He’s worth it. Neil couldn’t look back. He was wondering what Andrew was telling the others, and if they would believe him. He wondered if he’d told Nicky about Neil’s Idontknow sexuality, and that’s why Nicky thought it okay to kiss him. But he didn’t feel anything with Nicky. He didn’t look at anyone in the way he looked at Andrew. He ran and ran and ran until he’d sweat out the drugs, until his head was more focused on trying to breathe than it was on Andrew, and his mom. It took a while, and he was lost when he stopped. Unfamiliar streets, him a stranger in someone else’s hometown. Maybe that made things worse. This feeling was too familiar. Lost, lost, lost. Sometimes lost became familiar, became home. He didn’t think he could be un-lost again.

Part 3

#this is about older andy n Neil #so pls send an ask if u want more of them when they were young #cos I love Stefan + Andrew #Andrew minyard #Neil josten #andreil #tfc #aftg #the foxhole court #all for the game #andreil hc #just want ppl to read this bc I’m really happy with it :(

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skunked-up-kicks · 3 years

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Omg... same... I don't remember my first reaction to that kevin-andrew staring line, but like for example, it took me a while to get why Nicky warned Neil not to look too much at Kevin. And when people interpret things sexually/romantically in the fandom I'm definitely surprised, like the cigarette pack in Andrew's back pocket turned into staring at his ass etc. I did find stuff like Andrew brushing Neil's back more telling, but I didn't read every moment from a sexual attraction lense u know

I don't know if my last ask made sense but basically same sometimes im like "oh you guys think this line is about attraction. ok. i didn't know that" i feel like i learnt to see the romance/attraction in most of it bc i remember i felt like neil for the longest time -- i didn't see the signs of 'attraction' a lot of the time, though i did see more blatant flirting

lil disclaimer thingy: i understand everyone reads book differently and is coming from different perspectives, and i'm not intending to shame anyone or anything, just wanna talk about my experience reading aftg.

so, if i'm being honest... i do genuinely find it so baffling that people read certain scenes (mainly book 1 scenes) as sexual. like you mentioned the infamous 'neil sussed the twins out by which one had a cigarette packet in their back pocket' scene that people have turned into 'neil was ogling andrew's ass'. which.. neil is a respectful king and would never, okay? i hate when ppl make him into a fucking creep :// but also it's a good example of an early moment in the series that showed how observant and clever neil could be so it also makes me sad that the moment got stripped of that in favour of it being sexual :(

anyway, besides sexual clearly not being how it's intended to be read, it's also weird to me because like... my mind was not at all in the place to be reading scenes as sexual when i first read that scene.

we've just been introduced to neil not that long ago, and he's been presented to us as a traumatized teenager who's been squatting in his highschool's gym locker room, seems to have a nicotine addiction, is really anxious, has seen his mum die, and i'm also pretty sure there's lines about how lonely neil is and about how much he's grieving his mum. not that long before the cigarette-in-back-pocket scene doesn't neil have a moment at the window where he thinks "one of us has to make it mum"??

what i'm very poorly trying to explain is that, at least when i first read the books, i was really attached to neil early on and more importantly i was really protective of him. cause he's a child really... and a very hurt and distressed one at that, who's in a new and clearly unsafe environment. andrew's group is not presented in a good light early on, so i was rightfully suspicious and untrusting of them. how people can be given a character like neil in a situation like that and be playing matchmaker almost immediately is... yeah.

like... my mind wasn't in the place to be going "oooo neil thinks one of them has a nice ass!!🥴🥴"... LIKE? the scenes before certainly aren't set up in a way that's leading you down that train of thought...

it's the same as the scene where neil puts andrew's hand under his shirt, people talked about seeing that as sexual too. but andrew's been raped literally like 2 or 3 pages ago??? when i read those kinds of posts i can't help but think "how is this what's on your guys minds right now??..."

plus, when people say they saw these moments as sexual attraction they are often also implying they were thinking "maybe they'll get together". which is why i mentioned that i didn't trust andrew's group, cause i assumed everyone else felt the same, so i also assumed that like me they wouldn't be thinking of neil possibly getting with any of them... cause if you don't think they're trustworthy... why would you? i just wanted to protect neil from them ngl :') the only other character i liked at the time besides neil was wymack cause he actually showed that he cared about neil's wellbeing.

even that scene where andrew runs his fingers also neil's back, i honestly thought andrew was trying to intimidate neil... cause i didn't fucking like or trust andrew! he had non-con drugged not that long ago and i was still pissed at him and his group at the time. plus, andrew had used touching neil as a way to try and intimidate him before that so. even if i had picked up on the fact that andrew was attracted to neil from that during my first read, i wouldn't have thought they'd be getting together, or even wanted them too lol.

also because, aside from what i've said, there was also the fact neil told us he didn't swing... some scenes happened before that but most that people talk about happened after. if i'm reading a book and i'm having moments where i'm thinking maybe someone is attracted to the main character it's because i assume something might actually happen!

but i believed neil was aro/ace and so i wasn't looking for moments of neil being attracted to people, or moments of others being attracted to him. i never really bothered trying to read between the lines, it never even crossed my mind for so long... cause i had already set my mind on "neil won't end up with anyone". i only remembering it occurring to me at the "doesn't mean i wouldn't blow you" scene.

and honestly, when that happened i remember thinking something like "andrew's gonna end up getting rejected". idk? i never doubted neil was aspec, i started off thinking he was aro/ace like i said but i never went "oh he's gay", i just went "oh so he's not aro/ace but he's somewhere on the spectrum of being asexual".

and also tbh... i liked that neil never thought of things sexually. it was nice :'( and seeing his own thoughts and actions getting interpreted in that way, especially after we should have been under the assumption he wasn't interested in things like that... it rubs me the wrong way.

(i know aro/ace ppl can have relationships and/or have sex, but the way neil presented his sexuality and acted when hit on. to me, it made it seem like he was completely uninterested in either)

i can understand going back through the book after reading for the first time and being like "oh andrew's actions or words here might have been partially motivated by his attraction to neil at the time!", but through the first read? and for neil?? it's weird to me...

this is quite long so sorry bout that lol, i think i'll leave it here. it's nice to see someone else feel a similar way anyway ;^;

again, i don't think it's wrong if people read it differently. it just confuses me cause it's so different from my experience reading it and what i would expect it to be like for others

#ask

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aftgsucks · 2 years

Text

NMFTG Chapter 11

A Certified Minyard Moment

Neil is plagued with blonds

Ao3 chapter under cut

On Monday while Neil was preoccupied with English assignments and ignoring his phone. He found himself faced with Katelyn and Aaron, standing shoulder to shoulder. Well, as close to shoulder to shoulder the two could get, considering Katelyn was a foot taller than Aaron.

“Please?” Katelyn finished. Neil had ignored most of the request. The first few words were enough for him to understand that for some reason her university ordered tutor was still incompetent or whatever and she needed to not fail Calc. He could tell that was the truth in the same way he could tell it wasn’t the whole truth. His hand was already wrapped around the strap of his backpack ready to leave, he didn’t want to be a part of whatever clusterfuck this secretly was. But the memory of Allison bothering him all day Saturday about a date for the banquet stopped him.

“Fine, I’ll help you. But you need to make sure none of the other Foxes try to set me up with your cheerleaders.”

“Are you actually gay? I’ve never seen a man avoid cheerleaders this hard?” Aaron asked.

“I have no interest in anyone, do you want my help or not?”

“It’s a deal,” Katelyn stuck out a hand to shake, Neil ignored her in favor of pulling his workbook out of his bag.

A loud piercing sound rang out. A text notification on his phone. He pulled the phone out and then tossed it onto the floor under the table, maybe it’d be quieter there.

Katelyn bent down.

“Leave it.”

“You have a phone?” She asked, standing back up and sitting down at the table. Aaron taking the chair next to her.

“No, I have a shrieking little mechanical monster that Coach said I can’t get rid of.” Neil hadn’t sweated the marathon threat but then Wymack had switched to threatening Neil with something called ‘the buddy system.’ It sounded horrendous, so he had the phone with him.

“You do know you can switch off the ringer, right?” She asked.

He did know that, it’s just that Neil was used to burner phones and only one person messaging him. The beast Allison had bought him had too many buttons and it seemed like half the team had something to say to him. He leaned down and picked the phone back, dropping it onto the table as it dinged again. “How do I make it stop?” He asked.

“Can I see it?” Katelyn asked.

He slid the phone over to her. She picked it up and started to fiddle with it.

“So, are either of you going to tell me the real reason I’m the only possible person who could help you with this?” He decided to get it out of the way first, seeing no reason to pretend he ddin’t know there was more at play here.

Katelyn looked up from the beast and glanced at Aaron.

“Talking to me at the game but not Aaron, ‘don’t tell Andrew,” He mimicked Aaron’s voice. “How stupid do you think I am?”

“That’s not how I sound!” Aaron argued.

“Yes it is, now out with it. If I’m being a scapegoat I’d like to know what for.” It was their own fault for being so obvious about having something to hide.

“It’s none of your business.” Aaron said, the audacious motherfucker.

“You made it my business asshole, if you don’t want to get into the specifics that’s fine just give me the overview.” Neil twirled a finger.

Katelyn put a hand on Aaron’s arm.

“Andrew is… overprotective and he doesn’t like me.” Katelyn started to carefully explain. “But if you and I are friends then I have a reason to be around more that he can’t argue with.”

He saw some reason in it, because Andrew could argue with Aaron, but historically and quite publicly had no control over Neil. Neil had doubts about being capable of preventing Andrew from doing anything, much less anything to Katelyn if he really didn’t want her around Aaron. More than that he had no motive whatsoever to even attempt that to begin with.

“First off- we’re not friends. You don’t know me, I don’t know you. Secondly, why the fuck am I the choice here, I’m sure any of the upperclassmen would love being apart of your inane schemes. Thirdly, what makes you think I'd do anything to prevent Andrew from getting rid of you?”

“I thought you weren’t that stupid,” Aaron said. “None of us are allowed to socialize with the upperclassmen, you haven’t picked a side so you’re the only option.”

A side- why couldn’t everyone just play Exy. There was no good reason for any of the drama on the team- or well if there was a good reason Neil certainly didn’t know it.

“Besides,” Katelyn cut in. “No one’s asking you to do anything but help me with my math homework and you already agreed to that.”

She made a compelling argument. And Neil realized for a moment just how profoundly unlucky he was. He imagined the world where Katelyn had asked for help with English homework and Neil refused immediately. The world where Wymack asked him to join his baseball team and Neil lived. Anything but Exy and Math and he’d be in South America, still on the run, instead of a dead man in a library.

Neil sighed and pulled out his workbook.

Katelyn and Aaron weren’t that bad. None of the Foxes were that bad, they were annoying assholes who made obnoxious decisions. But no one had stabbed him yet- yes, the bar was really that low.

The eye drops were nice. It was odd to not feel the need to rub at his eyes every five minutes. He hadn’t realized just how bad it was until he realized his headache was gone. That he didn’t really remember when it had started.

Neil knew Exy, he knew survival, running, he knew hundreds of ways to kill a man and very few of them were slow. But he didn’t know eye drops existed. There were gaps in his personhood that he realized would never be filled. He was honestly surprised he’d lived long enough to find out about the drops. For his headache to go away.

It came back that night when he heard the tell tale knock of Kevin at the door and Seth got up with him.

“What?” Neil asked, his hand freezing right above the door knob.

“What do you mean? What?” Seth asked, pulling on his sneakers.

“What do you mean? What do I mean? What?”

“NEIL!” Kevin yelled through the door.

Neil opened the door. “Just a minute, Kevin.” He told the confused man before shutting the door again. “What are you doing?” He asked Seth.

“I’m coming with you.”

Neil wondered what he’d done to deserve this. “Why?”

“You told me to start listening to Kevin- what’s the issue am I intruding on some gay shit or is it Exy?”

“You’re fucking insuffrable, is the issue.”

“You’re the one that told Renee to go to the bar with us. You little shit. You care about me.”

“Care is a fucking stretch,” Neil ignored Kevin’s knocking as it started again.

“Then why bother? Telling her to go with us or calling Allison the other day?”

“Because,” Neil said. “If you die then when I’m inevitably murdered the team will be too small to play.” The extent of Neil’s courtesy, it would just be rude.

“I genuinely can’t tell if you’re joking right now or not.”

Neil shrugged.

“Whatever, stop being a dick because you didn’t expect me to listen to you.”

“Why are you listening to me?” Neil hissed..

“I WILL LEAVE WITHOUT YOU!” Kevin yelled through the door.

Neil swung open the door again. “Kevin, chill the fuck out!” He tried to shut the door again, but Kevin shouldered right into it, stepping into the dorm.

“What is going on?” He asked, loudly.

“I’m coming to night practice.” Seth declared.

Kevin’s eyes went wide and he blinked slowly. He looked at Neil.

“You know what,” Neil decided this wasn’t his problem. “I’m going downstairs.” He walked quickly, hearing Seth and Kevin following him but not stopping or looking back.

“We actually practice, Gordan,” Kevin informed him. “I know that’s a difficult concept for you so if you’re just coming to be useless- don’t.”

“You see, this is why you’re not captain, Day. You don’t own the court, I can practice if I want to.”

“If I have to listen to the two of you argue all night,” Neil started slamming the elevator button and then giving up. “I don’t know what I’ll do but it’ll be fucked up.”

“This was your idea!” Seth groaned.

Kevin smacked Neil on the arm.

“It wasn’t, I didn’t say come to night practice and antagonize Kevin. I said get better at Exy and stop antagonizing everyone!”

“Right because no one else on the team is antagonizing,” Seth argued. “Kevin literally just called me useless.”

“Because you are.”

Neil had been tortured a few times, well more then a few really, growing up. This felt worse. On the brightside there was a good chance that when Andrew saw Seth was coming with he’d just kill Neil anyways.

“You’re so encouraging Kevin-”

“Shut up,” Neil cut him off. “You are both going to shut the fuck up right now or I will just scream over until you do.”

They both managed to keep it down to muttering until they walked out of the building. Andrew waiting in his car. As they approached Andrew rolled his window down. “That is not allowed in my car.” He said pointing directly at Seth.

Seth threw his hands up in the air, but went over to Allison’s car, unlocking it and slamming the door behind him.

Neil got into the backseat of Andrew's car, Kevin in the passenger seat.

“Why am I being subjected to Exy and Seth so late at night?” Andrew asked.

“Ask Neil,” Kevin deflected.

“This is not my fault.” Neil said.

“Then who’s is it? The invisible man?”

“Seth’s the one who decided he was joining practice. But if we need someone else to blame, maybe Riko for the attempted murder.” Neil offered.

Kevin flinched against the window.

“Weak link was your word choice, wasn’t it?” Andrew laughed.

“I didn’t think he’d listen.”

Andrew pulled out of the parking lot, Seth following. They all got out of the cars and went into the stadium. Andrew stopped Seth from following Neil and Kevin into the locker room for a minute. Neil didn’t wait for him, nor did he ask what Andrew said. The fact that Seth was both alive and still there was shocking enough.

During the practice whenever Seth and Kevin got too annoying, instead of taking sides Neil would just scream until they both stopped. Then Neil would go quiet and for a moment all they could hear in the court was Andrew laughing.

They ended early, but no one died. And somehow no actual fight broke out between the other two strikers, so Neil counted it as a success. Kevin got changed first and left the locker room, leaving Neil and Seth alone.

Neil shut his locker and turned to leave as well.

“It’s because you were right.” Seth said into his own locker. He was dressed but he hadn’t shut it yet.

“What?”

“I decided to listen to you because I knew you were right. If I had died that night… they wouldn’t have cared. Not for long. Because they would have won the game Friday. It would have been a real inspiration. ‘Foxes prevail after losing one of their own. Win first game of the season.’” He shut the locker quietly. “I refuse to be worth more dead.”

Neil crept out of the dorms that night, around two in the morning. He went around to his spot and sat down in the grass behind the dormitory. It was cold but he didn’t shiver, he just lit a cigarette and watched the smoke rise.

He closed his eyes and thought he could hear the ocean. The roaring of a bonfire. He still didn’t shiver, even as he could feel that breeze, smell burning flesh.

“You’re wasting nicotine,” Andrew drawled from behind him. Neil applauded himself for not visibly jumping at the sudden noise.

Neil leaned back, looking at Andrew upside down. “Sure,” he said with a shrug.

“So this is where you’re always scampering off to,” he observed.

“I don’t think I’ve ever scampered in my life.” Neil narrowed his eyes. “Is there a bet about this?”

“You scamper constantly. Skittish squirrels scamper.” Andrew answered, laughing. “There’s a lot of bets about you, including where you run off to and about you speaking French- you’re just full of surprises. I hate surprises by the way.”

“Oh no, I’d never want to upset you, Minyard.” Neil sighed. “If this is going to be a whole thing you might as well sit down- unless you’re allergic to grass or something.” Mostly Neil was just tired of the angle his head was at. He didn’t think Andrew would actually sit down- but he did. A fair two feet away, Andrew plopped down in the grass and lit his own cigarette.

A moment passed in silence, Neil put his eyes back on his own cigarette. He took a drag to prevent it from dying. “Why are you here?” He found himself asking after a moment.

“Bored.” Andrew answered eloquently.

“Wasn’t practice tonight entertaining enough?”

“Watching Seth bleed a little would be more entertaining.”

“Well, I’m sure sooner or later he’ll do something to make you stab him.”

“Surprise me with something like that again and I might stab you.”

“Yeah, I’ll be sure to call you next time someone decides they’re joining night practice.” Neil lied. Not even death would make him want to use his phone.

“Hm,” Andrew hummed. “I heard that you didn’t go to the little team meeting last week where Nicky shared some family secrets?”

Neil raised an eyebrow, it was an odd non-sequitur. “I didn’t, it wasn’t my business.”

“You’re not curious at all?”

It’s not that Neil was curious, it’s that he knew that if he were acting more like himself he’d be endlessly curious. When he was trying to survive he needed information. Information was everything. If he’d come to Palmetto with the intention of living after it, he’d have gone into the dorms with the Foxes and asked Nicky every question. He’d probably stick his nose into everyone’s life until he was sure there was no secret bomb waiting to go off that’d get him too.

“I wouldn’t say that, it just seemed like a you problem.”

“How about this, we play a little honesty game. I ask you a question, you ask me for one. Truth for a truth.”

“Why?”

“Is that your question?”

“Is that yours? I haven’t agreed to play yet.”

“Like I said, I’m bored. I hate surprises and you seem to cause one every other day.” Andrew explained. He wanted a warning. It seemed fair.

Neil took another drag from his cigarette. “There’s some shit I won’t answer.” He told Andrew.

“Likewise.”

“Fine then, ask away.”

“What other languages do you speak?”

Oh Neil was absolutely getting stabbed. “Well, French- obviously. My Spanish sucks, so does my Portugues. I’m conversational in Italian, okay-ish in Greek.” He glanced at Andrew. “Pretty fluent in German.”

“What’d I say about surprises?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, when was I supposed to share that tidbit of information. When you were pretending to be Aaron to fuck with me, my first day here, or when you drugged me?”

“Is that your question?”

“Fuck off.” Neil took a second to think about it. “Why’d you get a phone call from the police?”

“I thought it wasn’t your business.”

“Yes, well, you brought it up.”

“Children’s services is opening an investigation into one of my foster fathers.” Andrew stared at his cigarette for a moment. “Pig Higgins knew I lived with them, so he called me looking for a testimony.”

“Was it a surprise?” Neil asked.

“It’s my turn. How’d you meet the cheerleader?”

“I don’t know if you know this, but she goes to Palmetto.” Neil answered. “I’m helping her with math homework.”

“Oh, is that what the kids are calling it these days? I thought you didn’t swing.”

“I don’t, what the fuck is everyone’s obsession with fucking?” Neil felt a rant coming on. “Is there some kind of banner or some shit I can wave so everyone stops with this shit. I’m helping Katelyn with math homework, I have no interest in whatever it is kids are calling it these days! Jesus fucking Christ.” He hadn’t realized how fed up he’d gotten with no one believing him about his own sexuality, or lack thereof. Then he looked down and realized he’d snapped his cigarette in half. He put out the still smoldering end and then lit a new cigarette.

“Are you sticking with the same question?” Andrew asked instead of commenting on Neil’s minor breakdown.

“What?”

“‘Was it a surprise,’ is that still your question?”

Neil nodded.

“Yes.” Andrew answered. “You don’t smoke.” It wasn’t a question. “Why light it then?” Andrew asked after a long moment.

“I like the smell.” It centered him, put things into perspective, reminded him of his future. He flicked the ash off his cigarette- scattered to the four winds that’s where he’d be. “What do you get out of your deal with Kevin? It can’t be his companionship.”

“Irritated, is what I get.” Andrew considered the question. “He said he’d give me something to base my life around after I got sober.”

“We both know all he has is Exy, I thought you hated it?” He mocked Andrew’s voice.

“I don’t sound like that, but yes Kevin is under the delusion that I'll care once I’m sober. I won’t but it’s funny to watch him hope.”

“What do you care about?” Neil asked.

“It’s not your turn,” Andrew stood up. “And I think I’ve had enough for the night, I’ll save mine for later.”

#aftg #all for the game #fan fiction #fanfic #no more fucks to give

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simonsrosebud · 4 years

Text

the one where someone doesn’t know who kevin day is, pt. 5

part one two three four

extra kalton content

games are over for the rest of the winter, and since winter break doesn’t officially start for another week it means that kevin spends most of his time at dalton’s apartment.

which, to be frank, isn’t any different than normal.

what is different, is that now kevin has much more free time to worry about meeting dalton’s family. how did he let himself get roped into staying there for a week?

oh right. because he’s trying to be a good boyfriend. and being a good boyfriend means doing this for dalton because it’s important to him. that’s probably why it’s stressing him out.

kevin flinches when a carrot hits his cheek. “come back to the present, will you?”

he drops his head back against the sofa. “sorry. i zoned out.”

and when dalton is dropping him off at his class for his first final of the semester, “are you okay?”

kevin shrugs. “i’m nervous about meeting your family.” he looks at dalton’s lap instead of his face.

dalton puts the car in park and leans over the center console to kiss his cheek. he stays there for a moment. “i know it won’t help to say there’s nothing to worry about, but it’s still true. they’ll love you because i love you.”

oh.

what?

“what?” kevin drags his stare up to dalton’s face. he’s smiling, he knows exactly what he’s done.

and dalton takes kevin’s face in his hands. “i love you. and i don’t expect you to say it back, and me saying it probably isn’t helping to make you less nervous, but thinking about me loving you is probably nicer than thinking about meeting my family.” he kisses kevin. “you gotta go, kev.”

kevin’s mouth is still hanging a little, and when he drags himself out of the car he leans into the open window. “you-you’re just gonna spring that on me and leave?”

“yep. and you’re going to think about it when you’re doubting yourself taking this exam.” he puts the car in drive, and blows him a dramatic kiss. “text me when you’re done?”

“no- i mean, yes, but-“

“good luck, love you!” and he drives off.

kevin watches his car until it turns the corner, and tugs at his hair before going inside.

he may have failed his exam, he may not have. he can’t really tell. either way, he lies a little to dalton when walking out. just got done, still have to wait for the class to end the exam before we can leave.

that kinda sucks. just txt me when ur done

kevin doesn’t know who to call, but his thumb eventually lands on abby.

“hey. are you okay? i feel like you never call me,” she laughs, and kevin grimaces. he should do it more often, then.

“i’m just stressed about something and… you’re the only person i thought to call.” he sits on a nearby bench outside his building. before abby can say anything he gets back to it. “dalton said i love you this morning and i don’t know what to do about it.”

“well, kevin, you don’t have to do anything about it. you can say it back? if you feel the same way?”

he does. he thinks. does he? is it just him thinking he should say it back because it’s the nice thing to do? he and thea never said it.

kevin shakes his head. his relationship with thea was toxic and a little fabricated.

kevin freezes. he’s never said i love you to someone and meant it. he takes a deep breath. he’s so fucked up. he knows he’s fucked up and it makes his head spin, but he can’t dwell on it because more of his reality would crash around him, and he’s already working through enough of it with bee behind the scenes.

“kevin?”

“i’m here. i don’t know if i feel the same, yet.”

“i know. you don’t have to say it. you can wait until you’re ready, or you don’t ever have to say it if you never feel it. he seems nice, i mean, i’d surely think that he’d be okay with you waiting?”

why did he call her? no one really knows his relationship but him.

he calls dalton. “i’m out, now. can you take me to the stadium?”

kevin shoots on an empty goal, hounding balls at cones for what’s probably close to two hours before the door opens.

wymack looks at him expectantly. “remember when betsy said you shouldn’t be spending more time here than necessary? like you did last year with the god-awful night practices?”

kevin plants the end of his racquet to the ground. “i had a lot on my mind.”

wymack retreats back through the hall. kevin follows. “should i be playing dad or coach right now?”

kevin doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to him saying things like that. about being his father. it’s not like he ever thought of him as just his coach, the day he found out that david wymack was his father that’s all he’s been able to think of him as in his head. the reality of it is just… different. shocking, even now.

“both?” wymack turns, an eyebrow raised. “dalton told me he loves me. i can’t say it back yet, so i don’t know what to say to him when i see him.”

he crosses his arms. “hey, dalton, you know i’m basically head over heels for you as anyone can tell, but i can’t say i love you yet because i’ve got shit up here that i need to settle first.” and after a moment. “too coach?

kevin shrugs. “it’s what i expected.”

it’s close enough to what he tells dalton, too. just without the head over heels and softer wording of “i’m fucked in the head”.

and he feels a little lighter when dalton kisses him and tells him it’s okay. “i told you you don’t have to say it. are you uncomfortable with me saying it again? do you want me to wait?”

and he doesn’t want to- or know how to say no, i need you to keep saying it until i believe you. i need you to keep saying it so i don’t forget. so that i know you mean it.

instead, he shrugs. he’s been shrugging so much lately. he’ll turn into neil. “i like hearing it.”

“kay.” dalton smiles. “i love you, then.”

he wasn’t planning on telling dalton anything past that, but then they start making out, and dalton lies him down, and he panics. “hey.” he says.

dalton has his lips on his neck. “hey.”

“no, hey, stop, d.” and he’s off of him quicker than he can comprehend.

“are you okay?”

“yeah,” he breathes. “no, i’m fine, i just…” he sits up. “i… can’t say i love you yet because i’ve never said it to anyone.”

“i’ve only been in two other real relationships before this, that’s okay-“

“no, i mean.” he sighs. “when i was... with the ravens, you know... saying i love you, or even like, oh love you man to a friend just... wasn’t something that-that we did. especially the way i was raised, i may have said it to a friend once or twice. but i don’t...” he looks up, and dalton feels pain in his chest from the pure vulnerability in his eyes. he slides his hands up gently to kevin’s face as he whispers, “i don’t think i’ve ever said i love you to anyone and meant it.”

“hey,” he whispers back. “that’s okay, kev. that’s okay.” he hugs him and kevin takes the biggest breath ever as he tucks his face into dalton’s shoulder.

and two weeks later, kevin’s standing on the porch of the miller family home in bowie, maryland.

he glances down at the address in his notes. this is the right one.

he should have let dalton pick him up from the airport. he knows he feels bad about it, but he didn’t want him to see how nervous he was.

he knocks on the door.

it opens after a few moments. a girl almost his height stands inside the door, and kevin panics. “hi.”

but she grins. “hi! you’re kevin! come in!” she steps back and it’s so fucking warm in the house compared to outside. “i’m so excited you’re here, dalton told us all about youuu” she coos as she leads him further into the house. dalton is shouting as he runs across the kitchen to turn down the stove to stop something from boiling over, and when he turns he grins.

“kevin!” he very obviously tries not to run over to hug him, and almost lifts kevin off his toes. “how long have you been here?” he whispers.

“twenty seconds.”

“oh good. okay. how was your flight?” he shrugs. “okay, cool, uh, let’s take your bag to my room.”

dalton kind of rushes them downstairs. his room and a spare bedroom are the only ones down there, and when he shuts the door behind them he takes a deep breath. “i’m sorry. i’m really nervous. my family’s kind of loud and my sisters are those people who just kind of act like they’ve known you for a while within five minutes of meeting you, so they probably won’t care to be weird in front of you. and my dad acts real tough and he’ll do the dad thing from movies and hammer you” kevin has no idea what he’s talking about. “um, and my sisters are annoying and if they bitch at each other just ignore it- it’s just what they do. and i just-”

“dalton it’s fine!” kevin shrugs out of his coat. “you forget i’ve lived with andrew, nicky, and neil. every awkward or tense moment is created because of them.”

he also knows how to school his expression in strange situations. again, he’s grown up in the spotlight.

so dalton leads him back upstairs where his mother is standing at the stove and his two sisters are at the table leaned close and whispering. they stop and both turn when the boys come up. “sorry, stole him for a second. um, mom, this is kevin.”

“oh, call me anne. it’s so nice to finally meet you! dalton’s told us plenty.”

“you as well. i’m just glad i was able to come out here this winter.” he’s got on his press smile on instinct. he’s so nervous, he feels like he’s sweating.

“i’m carmen, this is bella!” the girls wave from their spots at the table, and before he can say hello carmen speaks up again. he’s not complaining. “so you play exy? bella plays exy.” bella elbows her. “what!”

“i really don’t. i joined intramural at school so my friend wouldn’t be alone. i’m really bad.”

“not terrible, he could teach you some moves. he’s incredible.” now kevin shoots dalton a look. “what.”

“no, it’s okay, i mean i know who you are.” kevin’s stomach drops a little. “not like- i know that you’re famous for exy, i don’t like know you.”

kevin’s trying hard not to regret coming. why did he think he could act normal with someone else’s family?

but surprisingly, things smooth out after a few more minutes of painstaking conversation. granted, after kevin meets dalton’s father after comes home.

“kevin day. it’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.” he’s proud of his handshake, but mr. miller doesn’t pay it any mind.

“george. nice to meet you.” he nods, and grabs a bottle from the fridge. “beer? dalt, you get him a drink?”

kevin stiffens as he sits back at the table. “i don’t drink, sir.”

george frowns for a moment. he doesn’t remember how old dalton said he was. “you’re not underage, are you?” only three years younger, right?

“no, i just don’t drink.” anymore.

“fair enough.” he sits back at the table, and gestures towards his face. “see you’ve got a tattoo. why the face?”

“dad!” carmen is doing homework on her laptop, but looks up with a shocked look on her face. “don’t be rude,” she mumbles.

“i’m just asking!”

kevin honestly doesn’t know who to go by, but he feels his dad is the right route. “it’s a cover up. the one under it was a cocky premature thing with... uh, my, my-”

“his kind of brother.” kevin wishes carmen would butt out. but he has to play nice.

“oh! i’m sorry, i thought dalton said you were an only child.” and his dad actually seems sorry that he got his information wrong, despite it not even coming up yet, that kevin feels bad. he balls his fists under the table.

“we weren’t related. i just grew up with him. my family situation is... complicated.”

george holds his hands up after a speedy glancing at dalton. kevin thanks god for whatever face dalton must have made at him. “not my business to intrude. forget i asked about the face.”

and then things smooth out. they eat dinner, and kevin helps put dishes into the dishwasher to boost his morale with anne before joining dalton and his sisters in the living room. he sinks into the couch. dalton looks bored at what bella has on, the history channel, but kevin zones in on it. he tends to watch it a lot when andrew and neil aren’t there. or while he’s doing homework.

an hour in, both kevin and bella are enamored by whatever segment they’re playing. when dalton gets up to grab a drink, carmen smiles to herself and tosses a mini pretzel at bella, it lands on her sleeve, but she doesn’t notice.

she shakes her head. she does the same to kevin. it lands in his hood, and when he doesn’t move to take it out carmen leans forward.

dalton walks back in and lingers when he sees her. “you ever watch these two watch the history channel?” he frowns. what? “you could cut the sexual tension with a knife!”

bella snaps and kicks carmen. dalton rolls his eyes and sits with his head in kevin’s lap. carmen looks at him with a challenging brow. dalton isn’t going to let her win her little experiment.

he leans up and kisses kevin’s chin. “wanna go downstairs?”

kevin slides his hand into dalton’s hair, looks down at him for a moment. “soon. there’s still twenty minutes left.”

dalton’s jaw drops. carmen cackles.

at least he’s fitting in.

the rest of kevin’s trip to maryland at dalton’s family home are when they go to NYC for a day, and when he and dalton are just lounging around at the house and kevin says i love you

#kevin day x dalton miller #the one where someone doesn’t know who kevin day is #kevin day #kevin #bisexual kevin day #dalton miller #oc: dalton miller #the foxhole court #the foxes #exy #aftg #all for the game #the raven king #the kings men #palmetto state foxes #palmetto state university #palmetto state #ravens #moriyama’s

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willowbird · 4 years

Note

Cute uncle!Andrew and Neil with Aaron’s future kids!

Ooh! Don’t mind if I do! I hope you enjoy! <3

------

The reunion had been Abby’s idea, and while Wymack had done some obligatory grumping about the idea of having this particular group of Foxes invading their house (”I hope you remembered to hide the liquor.” “David, they’re all legal adults now and we’re inviting them over to drink with us.” “Make sure you have the fire department on standby.” “David, I highly doubt they’re going to burn down the house.” “I swear to fuck if those Minyards think they’re going break my shit I’ll haul their asses out to the park and leave them in a cardboard box.” “David, I think you’re being a bit dramatic.”) he was able to admit, at least to himself, that he was looking forward to seeing them again.

Sure, he’d kept up with all of them individually in his own way, and they’d gotten together periodically over the years, but this would be the first time in at least a decade that the lot of them would be under one roof -- under his roof -- and he was looking forward to seeing with how own eyes how they were doing.

He’d thought he’d known what to expect.

After all, he’d paid attention to the pro careers of Matt, Allison, Kevin, Neil, and Andrew. He spoke with Renee at least once a year in person when she came by PSU to hand-deliver her donations (and Allison was usually with her these last few years as well). He saw less of Nicky and Aaron, since Nicholas had returned to Germany after graduation and Aaron had moved on to medical school and that was even more rigorous than the training schedule he’d put them through, but he was still aware of their general well-being. Dan he probably saw the most, as she’d gone on to coaching and was now in the same division as PSU, running a newer exy team at a small public university in northern Georgia. Kevin was always around for the holidays and visited during the off-season, and they spoke on the phone regularly -- so he was generally up-to-date with his son’s life.

It had started out within the bounds of his expectations. Nicky and Erik had flown in the night before and stayed at a hotel in town, but Dan and Matt had arrived first because Nicholas Klose still didn’t understand the function of a goddamn alarm clock. A prompt Renee and Allison showed up a little after them, followed by a harried Nicky and an exasperated Erik. Kevin ambled in solo, followed by Neil and Andrew, who still looked unbothered by the whole damn world (probably because they were the ones typically setting it on fire, but hey - what did he know?). Last to arrive were Aaron and his wife, former Vixen and one of the youngest female neurosurgeons in the field, Katelyn.

That was when things got... strange.

Wymack had been in the kitchen, pouring a seltzer for his (three years sober) son, when he heard the front door open and Abby greet the final arrivals. He heard a small, excited little voice call out, “Unca Annew!! Unca Neew!!” Then there was the rapid patter of little feet followed by a squeal of delight and a deep laugh that Wymack couldn’t place because he’d legitimately never heard it before.

Curious and confused, Wymack stepped out of the kitchen just enough to peer into the foyer and his eyes didn’t quite register what he was seeing.

Andrew was standing in the foyer with a blond-haired little girl in his arms who couldn’t be any older than three (though frankly, he was shit at guessing ages on munchkins). He was grinning and hugging her, listening as she jabbered on about something-or-other. Neil was standing at his shoulder, also smiling, though his attention diverted and his expression softened in a way that Wymack hadn’t known the venomous little viper to be capable of.

“U-unca Neewy?” Wymack noticed that the little girl in Andrew’s arms wasn’t the only child present. An identical child in a different colored dress was huddling behind her mother’s legs, looking anxious at the new place and the strange woman (Abby) who kept smiling down at her.

“Hey there Pips,” Neil said quietly, crouching down and opening his arms in offering. It took a moment, then the little girl cautiously edged away from her mother before half-tripping on uncoordinated legs the five or six steps it took her to get to Neil, who wrapped her up in his arms as natural as breathing and hugged her tight. He murmured something in her ear that Wymack couldn’t hear and when the little girl nodded he scooped her up and kissed her cheek before turning to join Andrew and the other small child.

Andrew and Neil holding children. Andrew and Neil being good with children. Andrew and Neil, smiling and laughing and comforting small little children. It was such a bizarre thing that Wymack didn’t really think when he spouted off a bewildered, “What the actual fuck?”

Seven faces instantly snapped to where he was standing and it took more will than he liked to admit for Wymack not to cower under the five disapproving adult gazes and the two shocked child ones.

“David!” Abby hissed, and he grimaced an apology.

“Ooooooo, he said it! He said it!” crowed the chatterbox in Andrew’s grasp.

Andrew looked like he was about ready to commit murder and never in all the years had he known the bastard had Wymack ever felt intimidated by him -- until now. It made no sense, but somehow, he became about thirty times more effective with a small child in his arms. What the fuck was up with that?

The other child made a timid little whimpering sound and Neil shot him a similar promise of an untimely death with one scathing narrowing of his eyes. Suddenly, Wymack was very eager to cancel his plans to go see the Denver Wildcats next game.

Then Neil softened again in that way that made Wymack feel like he’d been transported to an alternate dimension. He bounced the child gently and murmured quietly to her, and this time Wymack was able to hear what he said.

“I know he’s big and loud, but that’s Wymack. Remember I told you about him?”

“Uh-huh...”

“Remember what I said?”

“Uh-huh...”

“Pips.” The tone was gentle, but still commanding in a way that eerily reminded Wymack of Betsy. This was getting too weird.

The little girl hugged Neil tighter around the neck, then took two deep breaths before pulling back and peaking over at where he was still standing right at the entrance of the kitchen. She studied him warily before saying, “He’s da bear man.”

The... bear man? What... the fuck?

“That’s right. He’s big and loud but very soft. And he’ll stay far away if you don’t want him close.”

Wymack was pretty sure he needed to lay down.

Thankfully, Aaron finally decided to speak the fuck up. Granted, the tiny fucker sounded way too amused for his own good. “Coach, you haven't met the twins yet. The little energizer bunny with Andrew is Penny and Neil’s got Piper. Piper is a bit shy, that’s all. She’s not all that great with strangers still.”

“Alright family, let’s get out of the foyer hm? Would you girls like some snacks? I bet Uncle Andrew will show you where the cookies are if you ask him nicely,” Katelyn offered with a knowing smile.

It had an immediate effect. Even the shy one, Piper, lit up like damn Christmas tree as both girls looked to Andrew like he was here to deliver them Salvation. In a childlike unison that had absolutely no right being that adorable, both girls gasped, “Cookies?!”

Andrew smirked. Then he chuckled and kissed Penny on the cheek. “Oh, I think I can find something.”

Wymack stepped out of the way as Andrew led the way with Penny, Neil and Piper right behind them, into the kitchen.

He watched them go, then just stood there, gobsmacked for a moment. Katelyn was the one to cross over to him and pat him consolingly on the shoulder. “If it makes you feel any better, Neil has already offered both of them to teach them how to pick locks when they turn five.”

It did but it didn’t.

Aaron snickered unhelpfully. “Go have a drink, Coach. If that is fucking you up, just wait until tea time.”

“Tea time?” Even to his own ears, his voice came out raspy. “What the fuck is tea time?”

Aaron cackled in response. Cackled.

Jesus Christ, this was not what he had signed up for.

#asks #blue-hail #aftg #aftg fic #aftg prompt #future fic #uncle andrew #uncle neil #andrew is good with kids #neil is good with kids #pov david wymack #andrew minyard #aaron minyard #neil josten #david wymack #foxes reunion #fluffy drabble #100 followers

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i-did · 3 years

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HELLO 👋 I WAS SENT HERE BY PALMETT-HOES. What are your thoughts on the foxes + tattoos?? Originally it was Neil + tattoos but if you have thoughts of the other foxes too I'd love to hear them if you want to share 🥺

Okay, so I actually might try to become a tattoo artist and love tattoo culture. I also have already about 30 tattoos, some the size of my whole hand and some the size of a quarter, a lot of mixed and matched stuff. I also always try to think of the foxes in their timeline, so 2006-2007 era, and when I think said foxes would get tattoos in their life and why.

NEIL

First off: I personally HC Neil has keloid scarring and a lot of scarring so tattooing is hard on his skin. I have a friend who has more scars than I've ever seen on anyone else IRL before and we both love tattoos but even with him trying to prep the artist, unless they were a scar micropigmentation expert, they usually underestimated how hard it was going to be to tattoo on his skin. It's uneven and dense and doesn’t hold ink well. His non-scarred skin faired a lot better but his skin was something artists just weren't prepared for. I might get some micropigmentation on some skin grafts I got to even out the coloring and make it look more “natural” but I’m waiting to see if the pigment will settle and heal more first.

I personally don't see Neil ever getting a tattoo, and this bums a lot of people out lmao. I think his scars are too thick and too raised and it's too cosmetic and aesthetic centric for it to be something on his radar. On his skin that isn't touched by scars I think he would want to leave as be mostly out of neutrality. I don't see Neil as the type of sentimental tattooer, I see him thinking “well if it matters to me I remember it” sort of and him wanting to keep the really deep stuff personal just for himself and even another person putting it on him is someone else there. I think if he were ever to get a tattoo, he would be like… idk it would be the kind that says “yes I got shot, stop asking” over a bullet hole scar or like that one guy whos missing his leg and above it there's a tattoo that says “one foot in the grave” that's the only type of tattoo I can see Neil doing and even still I'm not convinced he would do it.

ANDREW

I don't ever see Andrew covering up his scars with tattoos either. I think he likes how the armbands can come on and off and be fully covered to not at all. He's not ashamed of them but he's private, and I think the tattoos could seem like he's trying to hide them when he's not-it's just nobody's business. I think if he were to get anything it would be American-traditional, it ages well, its classic, and doesn't really go out of style. Before the…. Let's say 80s, there weren't the different tattoo “styles” like there are today. It was just… tattoos in America. There was Japanese-style tattooing and then American-style tattooing, and since tattooing started curating its underground culture in the ’50s in America… those circles did not blend. They do now, but they sure as hell didn't then. So I could see Andrew with American-traditional because it's classic and I could see it appealing to him, but I could also see Russian prison tattoo style black-work something that appeals to him too. Get him some gulag tats. However if he had those, and since I currently HC him as white and with a buzzed or grown-out messy buzzed head, he would deadass look like a fuckin skinhead so... yeah lmao. Overall I don't see Andrew getting tattoos really, but if he would, American-traditional seems fitting.

KEVIN

Okay, so Kevin out here looking like a MF SoundCloud rapper with his single face tat and nothing else going on. I know it might be OOC but since his mom is Irish and I HC his dad as Maori (even tho in the canon Wymack likely has 90s new age tribalism, which is a complicated issue but instead I choose culturally significant tattoos over the tattoo trend that was largely popularized by a movie lmao anyways-).

So I think Kevin is the only one who dives into tattoo culture and bonds over it with his dad. If he just has the chess piece, it still feels like a branding, like a mark so distinct against the rest of him, but one full sleeve of Celtic knots and symbols and the other arm full of Maori's distinct tattoos of swirls and symbols could be a cool way for him to reclaim his own skin and have it not be something he did just to cover something up, but make tattooing something connecting him to his cultures and family.

NICKY

Nicky is the guy who got like, fierce, or pride, or something like that tattooed if he got a tattoo. I see Nicky getting a pride tattoo of some kind maybe and it being calligraphy or like if Nicky/Erik is a bear then he gets a bear paw. I could also see him getting his and Erik’s wedding date tattooed somewhere. I also don't see him as the type who didn't know how much research and shit goes into finding the artist for you, and kinda assumes you can go to just anyone and just walk in and then was like “wait what” when he couldn’t (or couldn't if he wanted to get exactly what he had in mind) so he probably got/gets tattooed by some non-homophobic apprentice, maybe even that apprentices first tattoo, and also since Nicky is Mexican and darker-skinned I doubt he thinks to put on sunscreen and the sun makes his ink lines bleed and so it doesn't age the best (it be like that).

ALLISON

Got a trendy tramp stamp to like, really stick it to her parents. Right on her lower back I bet it's the classic 2000s swirls and a butterfly and some of those stars, idk what they're called. If she was a young 20-year-old now tho she totally would have gotten a fine line tattoo, like not a tight three, a real 1 needle tattoo. They were seen as really nice back then and “so Cali” and like I could see /maybe/ her getting it done before she's 30 but they were not that common yet and like micro-realism is so new we still kinda don't know how it's going to age at all since tattoos before it have been designed they way they have for aging. Again if she got a micro-realism/single needle tattoo tho it would be something kinda basic like a butterfly or like a lion. I swear I've seen the same google image lion tattooed on a lotta people and like IDC it's your skin. But yeah, she gets the classic 2000s swirl butterfly and stars tattoo above her crack one night, maybe after a really bad phone call with her parents and she got drunk and pissed off. Maybe someone said she couldn't take the pain. (which btw, tattoos don’t hurt as much as they make them out to be in shows and shit, they can hurt tho)

DAN

I HC Dan as very dark-skinned, she's 75% black and 25% Sioux and grew up in a very very white area when outside her home on the res. Tattoo culture is still really sexist and really colorist, and at this point in history I think if she ever did want a tattoo, she maybe asked vaguely about it and they flat out said “I don't know how to tattoo on black skin” or “it doesn't go with my art” which… are shithole excuses and I think she thought, “well fuck u too” and never thought about it much since then.

RENEE

I HC as Renee as darker-skinned than Dan, and like the only places she could possibly get tattooed are maybe her palms, the bottoms of her feet, or her inner mouth probably. Some people genuinely are so dark that tattooing is hard, because it's based on the concept of black ink on a lighter surface, which is why scarification catches on in cultures where the skin is too dark to pigment with ink effectively. However, the idea of fuckin, 15-year-old Renee who is still Natalie with “PU$$Y” tattooed in her mouth kinda sends me. I think lil kid Renee thought she was gangster, and tbh she was, and I could see her getting some “fuck you/in your face” tattoo, especially if she was a lesbian in such a homophobic world, getting that tattooed is even better. We also know she got her back tatted in the EC with angel wings that look almost closer to dragon wings, so I imagine they show up as almost raised dark lines like scars from the untrained tattoo artist going way too deep, making it a cross between a tattoo and scarification, even if accidental. (also white ink really wasn't a thing yet and even now is still kinda hard to tell how it will heal, so that's why I don't think she gets any white ink tats)

MATT

He's a rich boy from NYC, he could really get like… whatever he wants. Once he's famous he can afford it that's for sure, but even before then he could with his allowance similar to Allison (even if on a completely different level). However, I doubt he gets anything lol. He's not particularly religious in my HC and doesn't have the same sense of being lost like I feel Kevin does with his own parents (I mean Kevin was raised like an orphan, kinda so it makes sense). I need to develop Matt’s background further on what it means to him personally to be a Filipino-American. I have several ideas about how his parents met in the Philippines and then came here but I would need to flesh out locations and then local cultures and then his parents said opinions on tattoos and then how matt would react to said opinions. I could see him possibly getting something for dan or his kids tattooed on. Which really makes me want to have him get his first kid's name tattooed really big or intricate somewhere like on his chest over his heart and then his kid comes out as trans and he's like “...fuck” lmao and gets it removed maybe and then redone or something. I see him viewing tattoos are personal and symbolic, and if he would get something it would probably be family-oriented, possibly Dan's portrait or like his baby's footprint which I've seen before.

AARON & SETH

Stick and pokes were not nearly as common then as they are now, and I feel like people kinda have to remember how taboo tattooing was then and still is now in a lot of cultures. My family is Not happy lmaoo. But it is what it is. Stick and Pokes were not a thing bored white middle-class teens did like I see them doing now. It was seen as super sketchy and I know someone who was 16 getting tattooed in a garage by someone who was both drunk and just out of prison for the first time, and that was seen as sketchy as stick and pokes at the time. I could imagine either Seth or Aaron having a failed and fucked up stick and poke tattoo, and out of the two of them, Seth seems like the drunk tat guy. Maybe once he got drunk and mad as fuck after Allison and him broke up and she said he didn't seem serious enough so he got her name drunkenly tattooed on his arm or something and then she was even more pissed because it was spelled wrong “YOU FORGOT THE SECOND L OMFG SETH.” (I can also imagine his future girlfriends don't love it lmao). I also love the idea of Seth just having Marvin the Martian or the Tasmanian Devil tattooed on his ass.

Anyways sorry for the lack of pictures but I didn't want to do that... so I didn't. I didn't go into niche tattoo culture and history like I was expecting myself to but this also got fuckin long. Might not be what you were hoping for at all but it is my current opinion on the foxes and tattoos. (This is also surprisingly free of my own personal aesthetic opinions on tattoos and that I'm kinda proud of ngl, since my preference is none of these, but also I grew up in a very different tattoo time than them)

#aftg #all for the game #ask #mailob #fig writes

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boulderuphill · 3 years

Text

call me (kevjean, 1k)

Warnings: (light) mentions of abuse, alcohol and drugs, but that kind of comes w the territory i guess.

“You called me last night.”

Kevin’s mind flashes with images from the night at Eden’s. It’s a blur of Nicky laughing while holding up a bag of cracker dust, trays of shots, scrolling through old messages.

He closes his eyes and tries to bring the memories into focus, but all it does is increase the headache he’s been nursing all morning.

“I did?”

Kevin slips his buzzing phone out of his pocket, but the name on the screen makes him do a double take. Andrew is still engrossed in his book, not showing any sign of even having noticed it ringing, but Kevin still slips out of the living room and into the bathroom. There, he leans against the locked door and takes a deep breath, then he picks up.

“Hello?”

“Kevin.” Jean’s accent shines through, even saying something so short and simple. The fact that it’s actually him on the other end, and not Riko with Jean’s phone, is a greater relief that Kevin expects. But he isn’t able to relax quite yet.

“Yeah, it’s me,” he says, “is everything alright?”

“You called me last night.”

Kevin’s mind flashes with images from the night at Eden’s. It’s a blur of Nicky laughing while holding up a bag of cracker dust, trays full of shots, scrolling through old messages.

He closes his eyes and tries to bring the memories into focus, but all it does is increase the headache he’s been nursing all morning.

“I did?”

“You did.” There is a pause, and when Jean speaks again it’s in French. “You told me you hate it there.”

“I was drunk,” Kevin says, ignoring the pang of guilt, and it earns him a scoff.

“Really? I could never have guessed from the way you were slurring your words, or how you stayed on the phone even when you threw up.”

The memory of his knees pressing against cold bathroom tiles is suddenly the most vivid of them all. It’s like watching a rerun of a thousand previous nights, all of which end with his forehead resting against the toilet seat, and with the quiet resolve to never drink again.

“It’s been a rough week,” he says, because it’s true. Then he remembers what constitutes as a ‘rough week’ in the Nest, and immediately regrets it. “It won’t happen again.”

“Funny,” Jean says, his tone cold and humourless. “You want us to pretend like you don’t always do this, then.”

“I don’t want us to do anything.” There’s a soft ‘thunk’ when Kevin leans his head back to stare at the ceiling, trying to focus on anything except the hazy recollections of last night. “Did you call just to lecture me?” he asks.

“I need a reason to call now? You are the only one who is allowed to do it out of nowhere? Maybe I am like you, and calling because I am an idiot who is only now starting to realise that you walking away from Riko is going to have bigger consequences than we could have even imagined.”

Despite Jean’s voice being low, almost a whisper, the words are quick and fierce like bullets shooting through the phone. The headache still has Kevin in an iron grip, and he presses his fingers to his temple in search of relief. When it doesn’t work he squeezes his eyes shut again, and the dark makes it a little easier to focus.

“Look,” he says, “I don’t remember what I said last night, but I don’t hate it here. And it doesn’t matter what the consequences of me leaving are, because there’s nothing I can do to undo it.”

This time the pause is a little too long. Enough so that Kevin brings the phone from his ear to make sure Jean is still on the line. When he presses it against his ear again he’s just able to make out the breaths on the other side, then Jean speaks again, with a voice void of all its usual firmness.

“You could come back.”

The words should make him angry. Jean, better than anyone, knows why he had to leave, and all that he gave up in doing so. But it is not anger that showers over him like cold water, or disappointment that twists his stomach and weakens his knees. Instead it is doubt, filling his body until it’s sliding along the door and lands sitting on the floor.

“Don’t say that.” He swallows, because the words do not sound as assertive as he means for them to.

“Why not? You are stubborn, not stupid.”

“Because you know I can’t come back. Riko wouldn’t let me.”

Just the thought of facing Riko again makes him nauseous. It’s been months, but at times it still feels like he could burst through the door of Kevin’s dorms at any moment. He would be furious, forcing Kevin onto his bed and sitting on his chest. Then he would press the knife against Kevin’s throat, and tell him that a choice is a choice is a choice.

“He would,” Jean says, and it doesn’t sound like a pitiful lie. “He has not let anyone touch your room; it’s still the same. We practice the drills as if you’re coming back. He even calls me Kevin sometimes when he’s...” Jean’s voice trails off, but Kevin has no trouble filling in the blanks himself.

“You could leave too.” Kevin says it before his mind catches up with his mouth. On the other end of the line, Jean laughs. It’s cold and bitter, but the sound of it still makes something within Kevin ache.

“Maybe it is stupidity and not stubbornness after all. Does Wymack run a home for wayward Ravens now? Do you think me coming there would make us all a big happy family? That Riko would let me run, just like he has indulged this little experiment of yours? If you truly intend on staying, like you say you are, then lose my number. Because the next time you call me to cry about how you don’t fit in with those rejects, I won’t pick up.”

Kevin pulls his knees to his chest, hugs them with his free arm until he has made himself as small as his tall frame permits.

“I’m sorry I left you,” he says, and the words make his mouth numb in a way that makes him certain he has never spoken them before, drunk or sober.

“You are not.” Jean’s voice isn’t soft anymore. But it also is not harsh. Just tired. “But I’m not either. It was just easier when you were here too.”

The words are left hanging between them in perfect silence. It takes Kevin what feels like minutes before he’s able to reply, and when he does the words are small and inadequate.

“I miss you too.”

if u liked this and ur into kevjean check out my ao3 :^) also me and anna are working on another longer kevjean fic that we’re about to wrap up. so stay tuned and pls look forward to it etc!!

#kevin day #jean moreau #kevjean #aftg #aftg fic #fic

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