#but spending this long constantly having to ignore some part of my body being in pain

[mars-ipan]

how do people deal with constantly being in pain

[luludeluluramblings]

Neglected!Marine!Reader x Yandere!BatFamily

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: I’ve been holding on to this one. Army Dreamer sent me an ask and this is what came out of it. I know you probably wanted Army, but I just thought Marine cause of an old COD OC I had and this fricken spiraled. I was gonna make it a three part series, but that would take too long and you deserve it now!

A/N: Frick forgot the warnings. My bad!

Warnings: GN!Reader, Yandere themes, bodily injury (to reader), mentions of death

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

You've been living with the Wayne since our mother and step-father died. You've constantly been ignored and belittled by the family. The most common bully being Damian, your younger half-brother. After constant harassments and being called weak by pretty much everyone for years, you sign up for the Marines after a recruiter comes to your high school and gives you and your classmates the selling points.

But, fuck it, you don't care. Gets you away from everyone. And, it's one of the most difficult military branches so an even bigger fuck you to anyone who thinks your weak after this.

It takes two years for you to get somewhere comfortable. You're not flying up the military ladder, but you’re a damn good officer in the METOC moving to South Caroline. And, a 12 hour drive and 2 hour flight from Gotham. Neither which you have ever taken.

You don't bother contact home. You don't bother going home for holidays and Christmas. You send Alfred a card occasionally with some of your other single and lonely military friends in it. Y'all make them really funny too.

It's through these collected and hilarious cards that you get rediscovered. Not by the family, but by the media. Apparently, not only did your silly photos go viral, but your friends damn military tik tok did to.

("Why'd you join the marines?" "It was too dangerous to be a stripper in Gotham." "Why'd you join the marines?” “I have daddy issues and wanted to get yelled at by someone who cared.")

The family which had still been ignoring you or completely forgot you up to that point was absolutely fucking baffled.

Bruce was imediatly calling Kate.

(“Why didn’t you tell me they joined the military?” “I was Air Force. Not in the Marines. How would I have known?”)

Media is now constantly harassing the family because like, “Hey! Your kid disappeared and joined the military, and you said nothing and now they're roasting you online for the entire world to see.

Bruce is making calls. Tim and Barbara are now trying to hack military stuff. Only for your barracks friends to troll the absolute shit outta them and on government computers to boot.

Eventually Stephanie finds out you’ve been sending cards to Wayne manor of you having fun and doing stupid shit with friends. (Things that you should be doing with them, because holy fuck are you funny as shit.) All addressed to Alfred. Bruce asks if you ever sent anything to him, which was a flat no.

Jason is just baffled. This was nothing he expected. You used to be so soft and squishy, now there's videos of you lifting and doing fun shit with friends and you're shooting guns like a badass. So proud of you.

Cassandra is reading everyone's body language, but yours just looks carefree when she sees your videos and photos, she wants to feel like that. She wants you to help her feel like that.

Dick is distraught. You could have join the circus! But the military? Yes, you're a badass now, but still! He's delulu in thinking that you would have wanted to follow in his footsteps. Acting like he wasn't always busy or spending time with Damian.

Duke is just wowed. You joined the military. You DNGF. You are badass without having to wear any hero costume. Cool shit. Top tier.

Stephanie is just amazed. You had all this personality and she had no idea. You were just living your best life without the wight of the family or our father, and holy shit did she want that for herself. Teach her your ways.

Barbara is amazed, too. This was the most normal form of rebellion anyone could do in this family. Yet, no one expected it and you did it. She would have expected you to become a villian or gone rouge, but instead you joined the military. Color her surprised.

Tim is pissed. Everyone wants you back, yet there is no way to get you back. You knowingly or unknowingly made it nearly impossible for them to get you back without the military and government getting involved. He's pissed about the challenge, and now he's obsessing over all your old manerisns and the photos and videos. (He has the cleariest picture of how you really feel, but he doesn't care that it might be broken or negative. He's obsessed all the same.)

Bruce finds out your active duty and freaks the fuck out. Something could happen and you could be deployed and killed. His worst fear is you being killed. It was bad enough when you were in Gotham and fragile. But, now your military and you think you’re strong. But, you’re not and now you could die at any moment.

Damian is shellshocked. You technically proved him wrong. And, he sees the media's reaction to you. Some people are actually praising you for your service. You left and made yourself strong and made a new family. You didn't bother fighting for this one because you didn't think they were worth it. You didn't think he was worth it. It hurts, but not in away that makes him angry. In a way that makes hs insecurities flare. He wants you to come home now, so he can prove to you that he is worthy. That he is sorry.

Getting you home is near impossible. You have a specific roll that you've trained for, and are on active duty. Your a military dog on a leash the bat family cant control.

It's Kate the gives them the horrible idea. If they got you discharged from the military then you would have to come home. The only problem is an honorable discharge would still give you the means to avoid them, while a dishonorable discharge would make you absolutely hate them and they don't want that. (Plus the media would constantly harass you and them.)

So they decide to get you a medical discharge.

But, they can't hack into things and make anything up, though. And, all your physicals and mental check ups were sound. You have a more administrative position, but accidents happen all the time. Bruce has to make a few phone calls, but your active duty gets you sent out into the field. On a military operation that called for your expertise. (His anxiety is spiked through the roof and he has League Members on standby if something goes wrong.)

Kate also made a few phone calls. You ended up being deployed to assist the National Guard near your area. Only while doing your duties, you and your squad trigger a trap and you lose your hearing in your left ear and your left leg is wrecked. A few of your team mates are killed. (Bruce is pissed at Tim, Dick and Jason for that specifically.) Some lost limbs or now have memory problems. Eveyone in the squad is down and out.

You try to support the surviors as you all recover, but as soon as you’re better and given medical discharge the family snags you. Dragging you back to gotham before anyone can say anything. You try to fight, but the loss of hearing messes with you and the still fresh injury makes you weak once more. Plus, there's more of them than you.

When back at the manor, the family uses PTSD as an excuse for the lack of public appearances, and make many donations to VA hospitals and campaigns for retired and injured members of the military. (They even pay for what the military won't cover for your friends and anyone else they injured in the incident. Bruce has some guilt over you getting hurt that he tries to get rid of by doing this.)

Instantly, Stephanie and Dick coddle you. And, an insane amount.

Jason tries to treat you how he did before since he's so awkward and you punch him in the face in return. Not taking that from him anymore. And, he fucking respects you more for it.

Tim ironically enough, begins to emotionally manipulate you with finesse. He's studied you obsessively, yet somehow you’re still surprising him every now and then.

Barbara gives you space, she can tell this has all been a lot and of everyone she probably understands your injury best.

Bruce bounces between trying to coddle you and give you space. Unintentionally treating you like a child.

Cass is just silently there all the time, almost always watching. She can tell you're overwhelmed and pissed, but you’re still so peaceful to her. Not asking her to talk or forcing her away.

Duke is the most chill. Sucks they had to nerf you, but still your fun to hang out with despite the injury. You developed some military humor and it is hilarious.

Damian, avoids you until he finally breaksdown. And it's not pretty. He finally confesses how guilty he feels. That he is sorry. That he actually didn't want to have to hurt you, that he is a terrible brother and a horrible hero. he never shouldve called you weak. (And, you forgive him, because he was a child. And, because out of everyone he's the only one to apologize and confessed to what they did.)

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: I’m typing up like three stories at once, and my ask box is filled. Absolutely slammed. Last time I went on an answer spree I burnt myself out. Hopefully this will hold y’all off while I finish up Smalltown! Part 8, Pregnant! Part 2, and a partial Part 2 to the SugarDaddy Tony thingy. (I don’t know where that came from, but I’m happy y’all liked it. The original man for the SugarDaddy/Older!Husband was Philip Graves. lol)

[just-a-creep-babe]

Are your requests still open? I'm not sure about your time zone so I hope it's ok if I ask how would you think relationships with the creeps would be realistically? Like how would Jeff, Masky, Ej, and Ben act if they were real and actually interested enough to date someone? I was just interested in your interpretation since I really enjoy how you write them! ✨

I feel like I’ve maybe gone over a few of these points before but I can’t remember for certain 😬

Either way, I hope none of these were too repetitive!! And tysm!! 🥰🫶

Requests are closed but commissions are open!

Masterlist: x

Jeff the Killer

It’s no secret this guy’s crazy egotistical

So as soon as he sees someone he’s interested in, it's like he just needs to have them

They’re an ego boost; a prized trophy that further proves he’s better than everyone else

He almost doesn’t see them as a full person, but more of a commodity

Really, it doesn’t matter whether or not they want the relationship—as far as he’s concerned, he knows what’s best for them

And, coincidentally, what's best for them is him

He's a super controlling partner

Literally the embodiment of your body, my choice

Part of him expects his s/o to pliantly conform themselves to his every whim and desire

But the other part secretly thinks it’s super hot when they talk back to him

He's always liked the feisty ones, and it gives him the perfect excuse to put them back in their place~

In terms of emotional intimacy, his partner really shouldn't expect much

Jeff mentally blocks all of that kind of stuff out, and he thinks people who are open about it are weak

At best, he'll ignore his partner's efforts to connect with him on a deeper level

And at worst, he'll belittle them and use their vulnerabilities against them as a manipulation tactic

So it's overall best to keep some amount of emotional distance from him, in all honesty

The plus side to dating Jeff is that he's super protective

To the point of it being suffocating, so it isn't all that much of a positive, but I digress

Since he sees his partner as his possession, and since he's very protective of his things, he'll be damn sure nothing bad happens to them

And everyone better damn well know that they're off-limits or he will remind them by carving it into their skin

At the end of the day, Jeff primarily wants sex, first and foremost

And secondly, he wants someone that'll inflate his ego; either by being a pretty piece of eye candy by his side or by constantly gushing over him and blowing smoke up his ass

Deep down, he does want someone to care for him—someone he could love and trust, and who would protect him as much as he'll protect them—but he's way too emotionally damaged to even admit he wants that

He definitely doesn't make it easy to love him

BEN Drowned

Honestly, a relationship with him would be relatively chill

All he really wants is someone to fuck and hang out and game with

He does have a dark side, which manifests as possessive/obsessive behaviors and manipulative tendencies, and a good dose of neediness to top it all off

But it's to be expected

And, really, if his s/o just behaves and gives him all of their love and attention, then it's not like they have anything to worry about, anyway

As long as they game with him every night for at least 3 hours, have sex with him a minimum of 4 times a week, answer his texts within 10 minutes, and never spend more time with someone else, then everything's fine

He's prone to spying on them through their devices, especially if they don't do the above-mentioned things to his liking

And he'll use anything in his arsenal to ensure that they stay wrapped around his little finger

Like I said, super needy and manipulative

He'll fuck with their self-esteem, their worldview, their perception of the people around them until they can't imagine living without him

He'll become their world; he wants their life to revolve around him and him only

And if things don't go his way, it'll only get worse

Much worse

He's not above eliminating anyone he's jealous of, or even isolating his partner until they don't have a choice but to accept him back into their lives

He will fully turn psycho if he, for whatever reason, thinks that he might be losing his partner

But until that time comes, until the relationship reaches that point, it'll all be smooth sailing

He's smart enough to know just the right amount to push things to keep the relationship afloat for as long as possible

Which, despite being one of the chillest partners on a surface level, quickly makes him one of the most dangerous ones when things go south

He'll stop at nothing to keep the person he likes

And his partner will never be any the wiser of the darkness that lurks behind his easy-going intentions

They better hope they never reach the tipping point that reveals his true nature

Eyeless Jack

He's actually the chillest creep to be in a relationship with

Unlike the others, Jack firmly clings to those remaining scraps of humanity within him

If he hadn't been transformed, he'd be a perfectly fine and well-adjusted member of society

So a relationship with him would be like, well, any other relationship with a normal person

He has his emotional hangups here and there, and he isn't perfect; he struggles with communicating his feelings and intentions, and he can close himself off when he's following down

But that's par for the course as far as relationship difficulties go

The biggest issue that'll come up that probably doesn't have a Buzzfeed article to help you out is dealing with his demonic side

But even then, he's gotten fairly good at controlling himself, so it'll never be too disruptive—as long as his partner keeps an open mind about the whole thing

He'll be more possessive, and he'll get jealous more easily, but he'll never lash out at his partner because of it

If anything, if he smells someone on his partner, he'll just want to scent them—so all he needs is some physical contact to reassure him

He can get insecure about his nature from time to time, but again, a bit of reassurance goes a long way

Honestly, the most dangerous thing about dating Jack is probably his urge to mark his partner

Marking a human has a few... complications, to say the least

He's naturally bound to get more possessive and much more sexually needy, which could lead him to injure his partner

But, you know, that's just part of the risks that come with dating a demon hybrid

A relationship with Jack has its ups and downs, which honestly might get more intense than a regular human relationship, but even then, a lot of humans are far crazier than Jack, even despite his nature

Even though he deals with some pretty powerful entities, he'll make sure his s/o is safe at all times—no one will ever be able to hurt them

And even though he's a cannibal, he'd probably be too protective of them to take a nibble out of them

Like, sure, he'd love to taste them—and he'd be willing to bet they taste divine—but even if they'd be open to trying it, he wouldn't want to risk it

Overall? 10/10, can not recommend dating this man enough

Masky

Masky's very hot and cold in a relationship

The stress of work combined with the physical and mental strain of being in Slender's proximity all the time does not make things easy for him

He's prone to lashing out, closing himself off, abusing whatever substance he can get his hands on, and generally spiraling out of control

Which does not make it easy for his s/o

Since Slender took an interest in him when he was still fairly young, he's almost always had symptoms of the Slender Sickness, so he's not super experienced with long-term relationships

Meaning that alongside dealing with his mood swings, his partner will also have to guide him through the ups and downs of dating

Which is just a whole extra set of difficulties his s/o will have to face

Being in a relationship with Masky really isn't easy

But the thing is, when things are good with him, they're really good

It's like he only knows how to operate on extremes; his lows are incredibly low and his highs are intoxicatingly high

When he's on a high, he'll make his partner feel like they're on top of the world

Nothing can get in the way of pleasing his partner; not time or money or even the boundaries of the law

He'll shower them with attention and affection, he'll take them on once-in-a-lifetime experiences—he'll make them feel truly heard and loved

Their connection will be like none other; he'll make them feel like they've conquered the world together

But when he's on a down, honestly, his partner might just be better off ignoring him until he gets better again

Which could take weeks or even months

But ultimately the distance will likely be better than being around him when he's going through it

Because although he isn't proud of it, he may get violent and even abusive without necessarily meaning to

And once he snaps himself out of it, he'll be upset to the point where it'll make him spiral even lower

And once he's over it, he'll be right back to gift and love-bombing them all over again because it's his way of apologizing and making sure he won't lose them

As great as things could be with him, and as addictive as he might get, his partner should keep some kind of distance from him—for their own sake

[justliketoreadsowhat]

Appreciate You

⚘ 𝐣𝐮𝐣𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⚘ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 if you squint

➤ 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐔𝐒𝐂’𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝.

“𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐦 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧“ JuJu slumped down in her seat, distraught at the events from her final exam this morning.

“Well did you at least answer the bonus question?” You peered into her frustration in hopes to lighten the mood.

“Nah, those two extra 2 points wasn’t gonna help me do any better”

You sighed at her lack of confidence against herself . She wasn’t the most expressive person in the world but she was definitely straight forward when it came down to her dissatisfaction.

“Don’t worry about it too much Ju, whatever happens you’re still gonna pass the class”

Her eyes glanced over your expression, searching for a blink of hope in such a chaotic semester. You had been tutoring JuJu in accounting since early August, the class was by far one of hardest courses you’ve ever taken, yet you managed to pass with a 90% despite all the tears and weekly crash outs.

Juju on the other hand with her busy schedule couldn’t fathom the class, after her first failed attempt on a quiz, she quickly found her way to you.

“And then what happens after that?”

“What do you mean what happens? You get to your freshman year on a high note and never have to worry about the class ever again”

“M’not talking about the class, I mean between me and you” she stated, her leg slightly bouncing in rhythm as her nerves began to rattle throughout her mind.

A familiar flutter in your stomach that you’ve been ignoring since the day you’ve met her began all over again with her words. You’ve always found JuJu to be attractive but you wouldn’t make a move.

Some days you’d be so certain that she had feelings for you, the way she effortlessly made you feel like you were the only girl in the room. Other days felt like she’d rather be anywhere else than with you. It was hard to read her at times, her laidback persona made it nearly impossible to decipher her intentions.

“I don’t think you wanna spend another semester here with me in this cramped study room” peering over at the way her long legs cramped under the table. “You don’t even look like you wanna be here half the time”

Her eyes narrowed, dropping low beneath her lashes. “I do like being here with you, I jus hate the way you always have to pick up my shit whenever I fail at something”

Your butterflies soon diminished seeing her so disappointed within herself. It was hard enough having a lot of pressure weighing in on her, constantly having the spotlight being put on her as each game day rolled around, The stress she carried began to become unbearable.

“You’re not a failure” inching your body closer to her. “Everything you’re experiencing is a learning process on how to be better and it’s my job to help you do that”

A lingering silence fell throughout the small space as your words left in the air.

“Let me take you out on a date” she blurted, breaking the hush. “I wanna show my appreciation for you and everything you’ve done for me this year” slightly straightening her posture as her soft eyes searching for yours.

The soft thud of your heart began to fill your chest. You couldn’t help but smile at her evident sincerity. “Well since you asked me so nicely…” you trailed off bashfully, the sound of Juju smacking her lips as she sunk back down in the seat.

“Let me do my part for once. You’ve done more than enough for me ma” she stated confidently.

“Mm.. okay” you pondered around the thought of how serious she was, against your better judgement tOnly if you let me have me have the aux”

“Absolutely not” her tone reached an octave you never knew existed, brows furrowed in disbelief.

“Y’know for someone who wants to show their appreciation, you’re off to a terrible start”

A sly grin appeared on JuJu’s face “Imma make it up to you, just be ready in the next hour” she stated, standing to her full height.

Becoming distracted by her lengthy figure you couldn’t think of a comeback to her remark, accepting your fate. “Where are we going?”

“Don’t worry about it, jus bring your pretty ass and I’ll handle the rest”

⚘ 𝐬𝐮𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐈’𝐦 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 & 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲 iykyk. 𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐬, 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐬, 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐦𝐞 ! ღ

[totaly-obsessed]

Book Love

Alessia Russo x reader UNC

-> Alessia loves how different the two of you are, despite everyone's teasing

-> Special thanks to @babsisbakery for helping out with ideas

➳ Masterlist

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Alessia Russo was hopelessly in love with her girlfriend. And it was no secret. But the blonde's popularity didn’t save her from the teasing she received on the daily.

She constantly heard ‘Why would you date someone like that?’

‘You could have anybody.’

A couple of times she was even asked if she dated you because of a bet or because she just wanted to use you. That was the first time that you saw the harsh captain that she could be – making her teammates run until they felt like vomiting blood.

Not all the teasing was bad though – a lot of it actually quite funny. At least to you. Lessi would still get mad, but when she saw you laughing, her problem vanished into thin air.

Whenever you would show up at their practice sessions, the blonde did not get a break. She was too busy staring at you to notice the girls throwing bibs at her. You did not notice it either, too deep into your book – not really being interested in the sport and just showing up for your girlfriend.

Lotte, the blonde’s best friend, loved that she was dating you. You felt like a safe place to her. A cozy blanket that could shut out the rest of the world. You always had an ear open for the half-brit so that she could rant about her latest book without having to explain why some things just annoyed her about it.

While she loved the two of you, Lotte could not stand hanging out with both of you at the same time. When Alessia was around you, you could hardly stand up without the footballer following you like a lost puppy. And the blonde would not stop looking at you until you left the room – so she just ignored her fellow lioness until you were gone.

Alessia’s favorite part of the week? The evening after a match. No matter if they won or lost, she would spend the evening the exact same way. You would join her in her room, curled up in her bed. The blonde's head heavy in your lap as you stroked her hair with one hand, the other holding the book that she picked.

She loved you, your touch, and your voice – so having you read to her after an exhausting game?

Jackpot.

Most of the time you made it two chapters deep before the striker fell asleep in your lap, and you did not dare to continue reading.

One time you had read just a couple of pages more until you realized that she had fallen asleep – but it was already too late. When you took out the book the next time, there was a pout on the blonde’s lip, as she immediately rolled off your lap.

“What is wrong Less? It’s our book!”

A deep sigh left her body, still ignoring you. “Baby, I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

She did not forgive you.

She really did not.

At least until your hand had found its way into her hair. With a deep hum, her body relaxed into you. “What’s up, huh?”

“You read without me!” You could not really take the ‘anger’ in her voice seriously. Not when she was purring like a kitten, whining when your hand stilled for a second too long.

“Oh! I am sorry my girl. Promise I did not mean to.” But the blonde did not let up, still having her back turned to you. So you took to your last resort – back scratches and praises.

While she voiced her complaints that your hands left her head, she shut up really quick when she felt them creeping up her shirt You lightly scratched her back, whispering sweet nothings into your girlfriend’s ear, as she was on her way to dreamland.

You knew that the blonde had never really been mad at you for reading ahead, but it seemed that she just needed a little extra touch this evening.

Alessia was always open about her feelings, but she never wanted to cross boundaries when it came to physical touch – always letting you decide how much the two of you touched. If it was up to her there would not fit a single piece of paper between you.

While you wished that her teammates could see Alessia this way, so much softer than they were used to, you were glad that you could keep this side of hers to yourself. She was fiercely loyal and would shut anybody up who would make remarks about the differences between the two of you.

She wished it could stay like this forever. Being able to carry your books through the hallway. Seeing you on the bench for her. Laying in bed with you reading to her, falling asleep to your soothing voice.

But she knew that both of you had to grow up – even if she did not want to.

She wished for a love like the ones from your many books. A love so deep, it would need much more than different countries to break you apart.

[straylightdream]

unrequited hearts

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: seo changbin x f.reader & hwang hyunjin x f.reader

friends to lovers, unrequited love

↳ unrequited love is a bitch. Watching your best friend fall in love and get married is heartbreaking, but at least you have someone by your side.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3.7k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: angst, heartbreak, smut warning below the cut.

𝐚𝐧: I wrote this with reader being a plus size/chubby. I decided to reworked one of my old stories on here that I wrote back in 2021. This one definitely hit close to home when I wrote it.

𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: oral (fem receiving), unprotected intercourse, creampie, sex against a wall.

The undying love you had for your best friend was love you couldn’t explain. He was your sun and your moon and your true meaning for existing. The problem is he didn’t return your feelings. Unrequited love is a bitch.

Hwang Hyunjin is your best friend and the love of your life. He never really knew how you felt though.

When you first met the quiet and serious man you thought he hated you. He barely ever spoke to you and was left questioning if you did something to piss him off. It didn’t take long for him to let his walls down around you and you quickly learned what a kind and sweet person he is. You think the second time you ever spoke to him was when you started to fall in love with him. After seven years of knowing him, people constantly questioned if you were a couple. Once they discover you aren’t they would always ask when it’s going to happen. You always attempted to brush off this statement and would say you’re just friends. Completely lying to whoever asked and lying to yourself in the process. Hyunjin’s response was always different from yours. He would tell them, “it’s not the right time.” You always tried to tell yourself that this statement was a joke. That you’ve talked about how people think you’re a couple often, but he thinks you’re too good of friends. This might have something to do with the fact you aren’t exactly his type. Any girl Hyunjin has ever dated has been beautiful skinny girls, where you’re pretty average and with a soft and curvy body. It could also be that he cares about your friendship too much to risk it.

For as long as you can remember you’ve hidden away your feelings for him. You’ve never told a soul you’re madly in love with your best friend.

Two years ago you made the stupid mistake of agreeing to move in with him. He asked after a long day at work. You were sitting at a ramen place waiting for your food when he asked you to be his roommate. Every part of your body was screaming at you to say no, every part of your body except your heart that couldn’t seem to push away your feelings you shared for him. Like a complete fool you agreed to be roommates.

Living with Hyunjin brought some of the best moments in your life and some of the most heartbreaking. Sitting on your comfy blue living room couch he told you about a girl he met at work. You tried to brush it off thinking it was nothing. One week later Hyunjin was leaving the apartment for his date with the girl. Two weeks later you’re sitting on the couch reading when the front door opens and Hyunjin walks into holding hands with a girl who keeps giggling that can’t seem to keep her hands to herself. The sinking feeling in your chest you get at the sight of together is a familiar feeling that will never seem to go away after that night.

It doesn’t take long before Hyunjin is dating Eun. At first you try your hardest to push away the thought of them together. It’s hard to ignore the fact that he’s in a happy relationship when she starts spending more time in your apartment. The more time she’s there the more time you spend away. You bury yourself in work trying to keep your mind off Hyunjin and your heartbreak. Your best friend is madly in love and completely clueless to the pain you’re experiencing. The more serious Hyunjin relationship grew with Eun the closer you got with your coworker Changbin.

Seo Changbin was the only person who knew your true feelings for Hyunjin. He figured out you were in love with him when he found you crying staring at the engagement photo Eun had posted. Seeing their engagement photo broke your heart for many reasons. One being it was clear that Hyunjin was never going to love you back, and two was the fact you were blind sided by their engagement. Hyunjin never mentioned he planned on proposing. It hurt like hell that he didn’t warn you. It didn’t feel right that you found out through Eun's post.

Tears brimmed your glossy eyes as you took off practically running from your desk. Locking yourself in the bathroom stall you cried over your lost love. You cried realizing Hyunjin would never love you like you love him. You started sobbing and you couldn’t help it. Lost in a sea of emotions you didn’t even hear someone knocking on the door outside.

Your eyes pop open at the sound of Changbin’s voice right outside your bathroom stall.

“Are you okay?” He sounds concerned.

“Yeah I’m fine,” reaching up to push away your tears trying to stop crying.

“Did you want to talk about it? Because you don’t sound fine,” he knows you too well to know that you’re not okay. The moment you open the bathroom stall door he’ll be the first to see past the fake smile you attempt to put on.

“No.”

Changbin clearly doesn’t like that response because it takes him all forty seconds to learn how to open the bathroom stall. He stands there watching you cry for a short moment before he reaches down taking your hand. He walks you to the counter where the sinks are and tells you to sit on the edge. Sitting there with your legs dangling he gets a paper towel and wipes away your tears with cool water. His eyes are filled with sadness as he takes care of you.

“What happened?” He asks, finally breaking the silence that’s formed between you.

“Hyunjin is now engaged,” you don’t bother lying. There isn’t a point in making up some lame excuse to why you’re crying in the bathroom at work.

“Oh.”

“He didn’t tell me he was going to propose. I found out because Eun posted a photo,” closing your eyes you can still see the stupid photo in your head. You absolutely hated how pretty she looked, clinging to Hyunjin with one hand while she held out her hand with the engagement ring on it towards the camera.

“That’s kind of a dick move, that he didn't talk to you about it.” It’s reassuring to know that Changbin agreed Hyunjin should have told you.

“What do I even say to him when I get home?” you ask as he continues to sweep away the tears from your cheek.

“Congrats I had no clue you were planning that.”

“I hate that I started crying at work because of this stupid photo,” a heavy sigh passes your lips as a wave of embarrassment washes over you.

“Is it safe to say you’re in love with your best friend?” he asks, staring right at you. You wanted desperately to lie to him, to tell him he’s absolutely crazy for even thinking that. The problem is you can’t lie to him. You don’t want to keep you feeling buried away from everyone. You want someone to know the pain you’re feeling. It’s hard to put on a fake smile and act like you aren’t in love.

“Yes.”

From that moment on you and Changbin only got closer. You spent many nights in his apartment attempting to stay away from Hyunjin and Eun as they planned their wedding. He came over to your place after you congratulated Hyunjin on his engagement. You put on a fake smile and fought back tears, but luckily your best friend was none the wiser.

Changbin held you and rubbed your back when you stared at the wedding invitation Eun had personally handed to you.

You weren’t sure how you were supposed to sit in a church and watch the man you considered to be the love of your life marry someone else.

The moment he saw the invitation he asked if he could go with you. Telling you that you needed a friend with you. On a warm Saturday after noon in the middle of June you sat in a church in the second row with Changbin by your side. You’re dressed in a spaghetti strap blush colored dress with a pair of small heels on. He’s wearing a dress shirt with a pair of dress pants. His hand is laced with yours as he’s sat right next to you leaving no space between you. Your eyes stayed locked on Hyunjin who was standing in front of the crowd. The moment Hyunjin's dark eyes lock on his soon to be wife walking down the aisle your heart stings. Blinking back tears, you watch them exchange vows.

A tear streams down your face as Hyunjin says “I do”, and just like that your fantasy inside your head is finally over.

Standing in the middle of the dance floor with arms around Changbin's neck you try to focus on just him. Swaying to the beat of a slow song. You originally told him you didn’t want to dance but he practically begged you. His hands are wrapped around you resting just above your butt. You can’t feel his eyes burning a hole in you.

“YN?” he catches your attention. Looking up you find him staring at you. “You look really beautiful,” his sweet words cause you to blush.

“Thank you, you look really handsome.”

“Come back to my place tonight, please,” his statement catches you off guard.

“Changbin,” you aren’t sure what you plan on saying.

“You don’t need to be in the place you share with him,” nobody seems to understand you quite like Changbin does these days.

“I’ll be okay,” it’s a lie you won’t be okay. If you go back to your apartment you share with your best friend you’ll do nothing but cry yourself to sleep.

“Please,” he pleads.

“Changbin why?”

“Because I don’t want you to be sad anymore. Especially over a guy who was too blind to see what was right in front of him,” he stops swaying to the beat of the song and stares at you. His arms still wrapped around you holding you close.

“Bin,” his statement feels like a weight being put on your chest. You aren’t sure if you’re reading too much into it but it sounds like more than just a friend concerned for you.

“Can I cut in?” You look up to see Hyunjin standing there.

Changbin looks at your best friend and opens his mouth before quickly shutting it. You assume he’s biting back telling him no.

“It’s up to her,” Changbin finally speaks.

You want to say no, but you need to do this. You tell Changbin you’ll find him after the next song. That you need to talk.

Placing your hands on Hyunjin’s shoulders he rests his hand on your side and looks at you smiling. There is a sudden awkward tension between you. You can’t even look him in the eyes. Your eyes bounce around avoiding his gaze.

“So you and Changbin seem cozy,” you aren’t sure if he’s bringing up Changbin just to make small talk.

“Yeah he’s a really good guy,” you sigh.

Another slow song starts to play and Hyunjin clears his throat. Looking up at him you see he’s no longer smiling.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was going to propose,” he sighs. Knitting your eyebrows together you’re confused on why he’s apologizing for this a year later. “I thought if I talked to you about it I would talk myself out of asking her.” You don’t understand his statement. Why on earth does he think you would try to change his mind? Even if you didn’t want him to marry her you would have never told him that. You truly cared about his happiness more than your own.

“YN you know you’re my best friend right?”

You nod silently. “Okay I love you so much,” he lets out a heavy sigh. You can’t tell if he means he loves you as a friend or if he loves you differently. All you know is his statement leaves your stomach twisting in knots.

“I love you too,” you say this knowing that you’re always going to love him. Even if he shattered your heart into a million pieces without meaning to.

Looking off to the side you see Changbin standing on the edge of the dance floor watching you. His normal happy go lucky smile is nowhere to be seen on his face. At this moment you would much rather be with Changbin than here with Hyunjin.

“I’m assuming you want to go talk to him. Something tells me I interrupted an important conversation with him,” Hyunjin says, removing his hands from you.

“I think it was an important one, but I might have messed it up.”

He reaches out brushing his thumb across your cheek for a quick moment before saying, “don’t let something good slip away from you. I’ve made that mistake so do me a favor and don’t do the same.”

Your heart drops as you stare at your best friend, “why did you let it slip away?”

“Because I was dumb and selfish. So do me a favor and don’t do what I did.”

Your head spins stepping away from him. You need to leave immediately, just being in the room with Hyunjin is too much. Walking quickly over to Changbin you grab his hand and tug him out of the room. Walking outside the warm summer air hits you and you take a deep breath.

“Did you still want me to stay with you tonight?” You look over at him.

“Yeah.”

Sitting on Changbin’s couch you’re still both dressed in your outfits from the wedding, except you’ve taken off your heels and Changbin has undone a couple of buttons and rolled up his sleeves. You’re watching a random game show barely paying attention.

“Do you plan on still living with him?” Changbin asks out of nowhere.

Looking over at him you find him staring at you. You haven’t thought that far in advance. You don’t really have anywhere else to go so living with Hyunjin is really your only option. You’ll just have to push back your feelings and live with the happy couple.

“I don’t know.”

“Please move in with me, at least until you find something else. Or you can just permanently live here. I have a guest room that you can have.”

You don’t understand why Changbin sounds so desperate for you to move in with him. You knit your eyebrows together processing everything he has just said.

“Why?”

“If I say something I need you to not get up and just walk away. I need you to listen,” he turns so he’s completely facing you on the couch.

“Okay.”

“YN I like you a lot, and not just as a friend. To be extremely honest the thought of you having to live with the man that broke your heart makes me sick. I’m asking you to move in so you can live with someone who’s not completely blind to what’s right in front of them,” he pauses and stares at you trying to judge your reaction to his confession. “If you don’t like me back it’s completely fine, but I still want you to move in. I personally think you need space from Hyunjin.” Everything he says makes you feel like your head is swimming. You feel completely lost, you couldn’t lie you had a crush on Changbin. You’ve had one for a long time. You’ve just been consumed by your love for Hyunjin. It’s left you unaware of the people around you.

“I’ll move in,” you say without really even thinking about it.

A smile spreads across his face, “we can talk about our feelings after a while. I know Hyunjin getting married is a lot to process. I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you being emotional.”

After that night you moved in with Changbin. Him and his friend Minho helped you pack up your stuff from the apartment. All of your stuff was gone before Hyunjin and Eun even returned from their honeymoon. The day before they came home you shot Hyunjin a text telling him you moved out. Your text said, “I’m sorry you’re finding out this way but I have decided it’s probably best for both of us that I move out. I want you to have a good chance and make your marriage work and I think we both know if I live there it’s going to put a strain on your marriage and our friendship. Don’t worry we’re still friends, love YN.”

Two minutes later you received a text from him, “you didn't have to move out. We could have made this work. I appreciate you caring about my marriage, but I want you to know I’m going to miss you. Love Hyunjin.”

You couldn’t respond to that message. You just closed your phone and put it away pushing away the feeling that we’re creeping up.

Two months into living with Changbin is when your feelings for Hyunjin started to fade and your feelings towards your roommate grew more and more each day. Your days were made when you would hear Changbin laugh over the dumbest things. You lived for the little touches you would get here and there. Changbin was starting to fill a hole in your heart caused by Hyunjin. Late nights sitting on the couch watching movies were your favorite. The first few you both sat on different sides of the couch, but now two months in you lay between Changbin legs with your eyes glued to the TV.

Three and half months in is when you've finally confessed to Changbin you’re falling for him. He only responded with a huge smile across his face as he said a simple, “finally.”

Four months in you’re officially a couple and you sleep in his room every night. You’re now to the point where you don’t think of Hyunjin everyday. Your mind only seems focused on the man who kisses you good morning even before you’ve brushed your teeth.

Eight months in is when you received a phone call from Hyunjin telling you that Eun is pregnant, Hyunjin says he wanted to tell you first. Before you can even process if you have any emotions, Changbin has you pressed up against the wall, as his lips nipped their way down your neck. Hungry hands roamed your skin under your sweater. Your mind feels as if it’s in haze as he whispers dirty things to you.

Your mind and heart don’t even seem to care that Hyunjin is going to be a father. You only actually care about the man who dropped down to his knees in front of you pulling your underwear down your thick thighs. Lifting your leg onto his shoulder he licks up your slit. Your head is thrown back as he pumps two fingers in and out of you. After sleeping together twice Changbin made it his mission to learn all the things that turned you on. Your fingers tangle in his hair gently tugging and earning a moan from him as he sucks in your clit while his fingers continue pumping into you. You come moaning his name loudly. Sitting back in his hunches he wipes his mouth, smirking.

“Are you done?” You ask, egging him on.

“Oh god, not even close,” moments later his pants are pushed down just enough to free his straining erection. He wasted no time wrapping one of your legs around his waist as he thrust into you quickly.

With his lips against your ear he whispers, “I love you.”

You don’t even have to think about it as you moan back, “I love you too.”

You’ll always care about Hyunjin. It’s impossible not to, but Seo Changbin is the one who owns your heart now. He appreciates you more than anyone ever has. He goes out of his way to let you know he loves you.

“Are you mine, baby girl?” he groans, snapping his hips into yours.

“Only your,” you whine wrapping your arms around his neck.

He continues to have you pressed up against the wall with one hand tightly gripping your thigh. His lips are nipping at your neck, slowly moving down to the junction where your neck and shoulder meet. He sucks on your skin with the intention of leaving a mark. One of your hand tangles in his hair again tugging once more to receive a hungry groan. The other hand claws at his shoulder.

You come screaming his name as a hot wave of pleasure rushes over you. He nips at your skin with a muffled moan of your name as he finishes inside you. Slowly pulling out he leans forward and presses a soft kiss to your lips.

“I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you too.”

Leaning against the wall with legs feeling like jello, he rushes off to the bathroom and comes back with a warm wash cloths to wipe away the mess he’s made between your legs.

You spend the rest of the evening curled up in bed with your boyfriend neither of you bother to get dressed. There’s no place you would rather be than in the arms of a man who fixed your broken heart.

Regarding taglist:

If you aren’t interacting with my writing outside of liking the new post I’m gonna have to remove your name from the taglist. You will also be removed if I try to tag you and your blog is listed as "invisible". If you've changed your URL and didn't let me know I will also be removing your name. I’m sorry for the inconvenience but my interactions outside or likes feels like it’s nonexistent right now. All of my taglist are still open though. If you request to be added to one via this form, I kindly ask for interactions in the form and feedback and reblogs. To be quite honest, those really encourage my writing.

[yourheart-inmyhands]

Just had a thought a continue of my archon ask

How about there reaction to reader accidentally killing there attacker

-🌮annon

You can ignore this if it makes you uncomfortable

i didn't really go into detail about the whole murder part, more so the aftermath so no worries :D i hope you enjoy

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including mentions of murder, delusional behaviors, implied being held against will, psychological bullying, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

Yandere!Venti would use this to his advantage, helping you dispose of the body and discard all the evidence. This is how he keeps you tied to him, by saying he’ll expose your secret to everyone with no shame. 

He didn’t care how you felt about him, now there was really no leaving him. He had helped you get rid of a body after you accidentally murdered someone, there’s no coming back after that. You can’t even blame him for it because he made sure he that he left no traces behind, but your dna was under the nails of the attacker, your fingerprints were on the murder weapon that he conveniently forgot to burn, and you were the last one seen with the deceased. If anything, the second you act out of line he’s threatening to expose you to everyone. He’d never actually do it, but he’s very good at making you think he will.

Yandere!Zhongli would simply sigh in frustration. Of course he’s more than willing to help cover up your crime, after all he doesn’t wish to see his beloved rotting away in a cell. He never lets you live it down though, using the haunting memory of it to constantly beat you down mentally.

“Don’t go acting all innocent now, you’ve already killed a man, breaking a vase should feel like nothing to you. You’re a murderer after all.” Zhongli’s smile was pleasant and gentle looking, but his tone was anything but. He stood over you as you knelt on the floor, weeping over his reaction to you breaking a prized vase of his. Of course he had expected you to accidentally break it at some point, having replaced all his original artworks with replicas, but he had still found joy in bringing up your haunting little secret every chance he got.

Yandere!Raiden would do nothing personally. She’d instruct some of her faithful servants to handle it, keeping you locked inside Tenshukaku with her for a while. She doesn’t bring it up, but you can tell with the way she looks at you, that she’s upset with you.

Another silent meal, another long hour spent awkwardly eating your food as she sat across the table from you staring you down unblinkingly. It wasn’t that she stared at you, it was something you had actually grown rather used to, but the way she stared at you. Like a mother catching their child sneaking desserts before dinner or a father catching his son playing with his tools. That look of sheer disapproval. You didn’t know how much longer you could stand it.

Yandere!Furina is conflicted. On one hand, she doesn’t want her citizens to think she favors you above justice, but on the other, she knows you’ll be deemed guilty and locked up and she simply can’t bear to be without you. So she calls for a private hearing and keeps the case under tight surveillance. Of course, the family of the victim has no idea that the whole trial is fake, has no idea that the way you cry as you're dragged out of the courtroom to an awaiting prison is all an act, one very carefully constructed by Furina and her closest confidant, Neuvillette. 

Furina feigns heartbreak as she watches you get hauled out of the courtroom. She’s decided to overrule your sentencing and punish you herself in your shared home. In the basement of the lavish manor she had a special cell prepared for you, where you would fulfill your shortened sentence. This is so that you understand the severity of your crimes without her having to give up her time with you. Furina doesn’t think you deserve to spend any time behind bars, considering it was an accident, but she’s the Archon of Justice and the family of the deceased demanded something be done.

[roseghoul26]

Chapter 7: My House of Stone...

Synopsis: A fic based off the song “ivy” by Taylor Swift. After a startling introduction to the man, Arthur Morgan became the most important part of your life. Married at a young age to an older, wealthy man to help your family, you were trapped in a loveless marriage, your only sense of escape with the rugged cowboy. Will you be able to keep your affair hidden, or will your husband find out, and destroy the last thing that made you happy? Tags: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Strangers To Lovers, Infidelity, Fem!Reader, She/Her Pronouns Used For Reader, Period Typical Misogyny, Emotional Manipulative Relationship (not with Arthur), Mostly Follows Timeline of Game, High Honor Arthur Morgan, Not Beta Read, Slow Burn, First Kiss, Arthur Is Bad At Emotions, Confessions, Tags Updated Per Chapter Author's Note: sorry this took so long i got such bad writers block Taglist: @lokiofasgard12 @ultraporcelainpig @that-one-beannnn @morethantheycansay Chapter List

When Arthur didn’t show up after a few days, you tried to not let it get to you. He was a busy man, no doubt even more busy because of the job involving your husband. You ignored the fact that he proved that he would fight everything to come and see you, consequences be damned. It was almost out of character that he hadn’t come to see you, or had reached out to you in some way.

When a few more days passed with no sign of the outlaw, you found yourself going back over your last encounter, when he had taken you out on Bear. You don’t recall any hesitancy or doubt in his eyes when he was with you, or maybe you were too blind with your own desire to see it. That thought made you reel, panicking that you made him uncomfortable and scared him off. 

But you didn’t let that thought fester for too long. You spent your days doing menial tasks with no real passion, trying to just pass the time. It worked, mostly, but you were getting antsy. How you wished you had an easy way to leave the prison that had become the house. 

Even more days passed, each day becoming more and more anxiety ridden. Instead of worrying that you’d scared him off now, you were worried that he was dead, or in shackles, about to be hung up in the town square. Your nights were becoming restless, images of his dead body haunting you when you closed your eyes. You’d wake with bloodshot eyes, even more tired than you were when you went to bed. 

You eventually stopped counting the days, not wanting to know how long he’d been gone for. You tried to spend more and more time outside of the house, bringing blankets and books from Hans’ office to your garden, waiting to escape the confinement of the walls around you. It helped, for a bit, yet you still found your mind wandering, constantly worrying about Arthur. 

But no matter how hard you tried, you found that you couldn’t hate the man. Upset, sure, angry, definitely, but not hateful. No, your heart wouldn’t allow it. You were still in love with him, and the lack of contact from him was hurting you, both physically and mentally. It was hard to eat, hard to sleep, hard to find it in yourself to take care of your body. You knew it was ridiculous, but you couldn’t help it. He had wormed his way into your very being, and left a hole that couldn’t be fixed. You just hoped that he’d return soon and make you feel whole again. 

It was during this time that you decided to draft a letter to your family, hoping that it would alleviate the loneliness that was once removed by Arthur. You sat in Hans’ office, pen shaking in your hand as you stared at the blank piece of paper in front of you, the task proving to be more difficult than you imagined. It had been two years since you’d last spoken to them, and you had no idea what to say. How much was too much? How honest was too honest?

You decided to keep it simple, and you began to write. It took a few tries, but you eventually produced a letter that you were satisfied with. 

My dear family, 

I have missed you all, incredibly so. Words don’t even begin to do it justice. I apologize for not reaching out earlier, but my circumstances wouldn’t allow it. I do so hope to hear back from you, and perhaps have the pleasure of seeing each other in the flesh soon. 

Your daughter,

You finished it with your name, but just your first name. Tucking it into an envelope, you addressed it with the address Arthur had provided you, and you swallowed the lump in your throat when you saw Arthur’s handwriting, rereading the note he left you.

Making sure to leave the office as you found it, you made your way downstairs, setting the letter on the kitchen table, ready to grab for whenever you decided to go into town. You spent a few days at home after writing the letter, hoping that one night you’d hear the familiar hoofbeats of Bear, but were left disappointed each night. 

Eventually, though, you needed to leave, if just for a short bit of time. It had been roughly three weeks since you’d last left the house, and if you had to look at the same things again you were going to snap, leaving the house as a pile of ash. So, with a small purse with some cash, you took the letter and yourself and left. 

If it weren't for your current mindset, the walk to the main road would’ve been relaxing, enjoying the noises of animals and the cool breeze against your skin. But everything is annoying you now. The wind was causing your hair to blow in your face, and if you had to hear that birdsong one more time, you were going to lose it. Or maybe you’d already lost it. 

The sun blinded you as you left the shade of the thick forest, stepping out onto the main road. You always hated doing this, but you were desperate. Slowly, you began to walk towards Rhodes, keeping a close ear for any riders. 

It took a few minutes, but you eventually heard someone approaching from behind, and you perked up, putting on your friendliest face as you stopped and turned. It was a carriage, and you began to wave them down, but they ignored you, not even bothering to glance in your direction. Rude.

Still, you kept on, not letting one bad interaction deter you. A few more carriages and wagons passed, with similar responses. Everyone looked grim, you noticed, stone-faced and somber expressions. Now you were starting to feel dejected, and you debated just heading back to the house; you weren’t that far anyway. 

Before you could come to a decision, a single rider passed you, glancing at you even though you didn’t wave him down. Something like recognition flashed across his face, even though you’d never seen this man in your life. He had longer, black-brown hair that was tied into a small ponytail, with a mustache and goatee, and a bowler hat protecting his tanned skin. He had a blue denim jacket on, with a red handkerchief around his neck, and you noted that he was surprisingly well dressed for being an alone traveler on the road. 

“Mrs. Kerrigan?” He asked, almost in disbelief, like you were a creature from folklore, pulling his gray and white horse to a halt beside you. 

You braced yourself, ready to bolt as you stared at the man. “Yes?” You asked, suspicious. It wasn’t uncommon for people to recognize who you were, but they’d never acted like they knew you personally. You dove into the deep recess of your brain trying to remember who he was, but drawing a blank; he was a stranger to you.

“What’re you doin’ out here?” He asked, sounding genuinely concerned, which was a tad bit off putting from a complete stranger. Still, you couldn't detect any malicious intent in his words.

Sighing, you answered truthfully. “I’m tryin’ to get to Rhodes. You… you don’t happen to be goin’ there, do you?”

“Unfortunately, no,” he answered, truly sounding regretful, but then his face turned thoughtful. 

“Ah. No worries then. Have a good day.” 

You tried to continue moving, but his smooth voice made you halt again. “But it’s close enough. I can only bring you to the outskirts, though.”

“You’d do that?” You smiled when he nodded. “I can pay, too. Thank you, Mr…?”

“Escuella. But you can call me Javier.” He extended a hand to you, helping you on to the back of his horse. You sat sidesaddle, keeping an appropriate amount of distance between your bodies, your hands resting on his sides.

Javier. You remember Arthur telling you about someone with the same name, and although you highly doubted that this was the same Javier, you wished that he had a drawing of him. “Thank you, Javier.”

“Of course, Mrs. Kerrigan.” Javier gestured his horse forward, setting an easygoing pace; not too fast, not too slow. A small pang hit your heart as you remembered the last time you were on a horse, your body pressed up to Arthur’s, his rough voice in your ears, the playful glint in his eye. God, you missed him. 

“I’ll pay you when we get to town,” you repeated after a few minutes of riding, and you felt Javier chuckle. 

“I appreciate it, but I think Arthur would kill me.” Your blood ran cold, and your heart began to race just at the mention of him. So this was Javier, the one Arthur traveled with in the mountains to rescue John. It makes sense then, why he seemed to recognize you.

“Well, it’s nice to put a face to a name,” you commented. 

“He’s talked about me, then?”

“All good things,” you reassured, and he just shook his head, not believing you. You desperately wanted to ask him about Arthur, if he was alive or not, but you weren’t sure if any answer he gave you would hurt less. “Does… does he talk about me?”

Javier snorted. “Yes and no. He’ll talk about you, sometimes so much that we want to kill him, but then refuses to answer any of our questions. Some of us even doubted your existence,” he laughed, “but I’m glad to see that we’re wrong. You’ve made him real happy. I haven’t seen him this… optimistic in a long time.”

You were glad he was facing forward, so he couldn’t see the way those words broke you. Biting back tears, you kept your voice steady. “How is Arthur?”

“He’s fine?” He responded, very clearly confused as to why you didn’t know. “He’s been, well, ‘helping’ your husband.”

Oh. “So the names he got led to somethin’?” 

“Sure did. We were able to track down suppliers, and disrupt his business there. He’s yet to reach out for help, but Dutch doesn’t think it’ll be long now.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” You weren’t lying. “But he’s well?” You couldn’t help but ask about him again. 

“Yes. It’s been a crazy couple of days, but we’re pulling through.”

Only a couple of days. You refrained from asking what he’d gotten up to earlier, not wanting to appear desperate, even if you were. “I’m glad. And don’t make me regret saying this, but if anyone ever needs a place to lie low for a bit, point ‘em towards my house. At least when my husband isn’t there.” Even though you’d barely met any of the members, you couldn’t help but feel protective over the gang because of how deeply Arthur cared about them. If there was anything you could do to help them, you would.

“I’ll be sure to let them know. Thank you.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “Arthur was right about you; you’re too kind for this world.”

You murmured a small thanks, and the two of you fell into an easy silence for the rest of the ride. When the familiar outskirts of Rhodes appeared, you felt Javier begin to grow nervous, his head moving back and forth, like he was on the lookout for something. “We can stop here,” you said once you reached a long abandoned house, the yellow paint chipping and peeling. 

Red dust kicked up when your feet hit the ground, and you quickly took out a few bills, handing them to Javier. “Again, I can’t take this,” he held up a hand, a small smile on his face.

“I ain’t payin’ you for the ride, though. I payin’ you to deliver a message to Arthur,” you countered, but he didn’t relent. Sighing, you tucked them into the saddlebags before facing him with your hands on your hips. “Tell him to come see me. Please.”

“I’ll be sure to let him know. Do you have a ride back home?”

“I can arrange something’. Now go; you look uncomfortable just being here.”

He chuckled, not disagreeing with you. “Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Kerrigan.”

“You too, Javier. Stay safe.”

He nodded, smiling kindly at you before turning, taking off back down the road you’d just been on. Turning toward the town, you began to make your way to the center of town, right to the post office in the railroad station.

It was eerily quiet, more like a ghost town than anything. There wasn’t a single soul lingering on the porches or the street, and the shutters of most of the buildings were shut, which was extremely unusual for the middle of the day on a weekday. There weren’t even any animals out; it was just you and the dust. 

After a few tense minutes of walking, you eventually climbed the stairs of the railroad station, the creak of the old wood almost making you jump. It was just as empty on the inside as it was outside, the other person in the building, the person behind the counter, who smiled tensely as you entered. 

“Good afternoon, missus,” he exclaimed, the chip in his voice far too forced. “Say, can’t say I’ve seen you ‘round here before.”

“You’ve probably met my husband, Mr. Kerrigan,” you responded, making your way to the counter, pulling the letter from your bag. 

“Ah yes. Well, how can I help you, Mrs. Kerrigan?”

You slid the letter across to him. “I’d like to send this, please.”

“Not a problem at all. That’ll be five cents.”

Sliding him a nickel from your bag, you looked around as he stamped the letter, putting it in the appropriate mailbox. “Is there anythin’ else I can help you with?”

“Why is it so… dead?” You glanced back at the man, who had visibly paled at your question. 

“Interesting choice of words, ma’am. Let’s just say we had an… incident yesterday. Nothing befitting a proper lady like yourself.” He explained, clearly not wanting to talk about it.

Ominous. Realizing you weren’t going to get far with him, you wished him a good day before leaving. You made your way to the general store; Mr. Banks would let you know. 

The bell chimed as you entered, and you called out for the older gentleman, and you heard the sound of crashing from the back room, clearly scaring the poor man. A disheveled Mr. Banks peeked around the corner, visibly relaxing when he saw it was just you. You opened your mouth to try and apologize, but he cut you off. “You didn't bring that ‘deputy’ with ya, did you?” He asked, growing tense again.

“Arthur? No, he’s not with me.”

“Good. I’ll kill him on sight if he even dares to step foot in Rhodes again. He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

Physically, no. “Mr. Banks, what in the world-”

“Him and his buddies shot up the town yesterday. Killed the good Leigh Gray, Lord bless his soul,” he shuddered, and you halted in your tracks, your somewhat amused smile at his ramblings falling. 

“What?”

He pointed to a newspaper on the counter, and you cautiously stepped toward it. Bloodthirsty Gang Kills Dozens was the headline, a few paragraphs of text following below it. Your head spun at the new information, blocking out the words of Mr. Banks. You couldn’t gauge what you were feeling; you weren’t disgusted, or revolted, even though you knew you should be. You weren’t surprised; you knew that Arthur had done things, unspeakable things, and would continue to do so. You weren’t angry at what he did, but you were angry at him for putting himself in harm’s way like that. 

“I’ll take the paper,” you cut Mr. Banks off, sliding him a few bills, and he slid the paper to you. You barely mumbled out a ‘good day’ before you left, nose deep in the paper as you headed back to the railroad station, sitting on the bench waiting for the carriage services, and you read as you waited. 

You read all about the way the gang played both families, something you had no idea was happening. You weren’t hurt that he didn’t tell you; you knew that some things had to remain secrets. But you didn’t care much about the detail, eyes scanning for any telling of death or injury to the Van Der Linde gang. You knew that Javier probably didn’t lie to you, but you still needed to be sure. 

Your heart dropped when you saw that there was indeed one confirmed killing of a member of the Van Der Linde gang, but you didn’t recognize the description they provided. The others, it seemed, were still at large, and unhurt. Knowing how deeply Arthur cared about each member of the gang, you knew that this death was probably weighing heavily on him. If only he would come and see you, just so you could help him.

The sound of a carriage approaching had you standing, tucking the paper under your arm. Getting in, you directed the driver to your house, and you quickie got lulled into the rocking rhythm of the vehicle. You ignored the paper under your arm, even though it felt like a million pounds.

The ride felt like forever, but eventually you pulled into the familiar forested area of Ringneck Creek. The driver helped you out, and after you paid him you headed inside, feeling like you were just going through the motions. Despite everything you’d learned, there was one thing that really bothered you. The shootout had only been yesterday; what had stopped him from seeing you during the previous three weeks?

Even though it wasn’t late, you found yourself getting ready for bed anyway, keeping the paper on the table downstairs and grabbing a book from Hans' office before curling beneath the sheets. Your eyes skimmed the words, not processing them, your brain too distracted by today’s events.

You weren’t quite sure how you “read” for, but you must’ve fallen asleep at some point. A loud noise, like a door being slammed, had you bolting upright, pulled out of your uneasy slumber, the book luckily not hitting the ground. When you didn’t hear anything for a few moments, you thought you had just imagined it, and you went to try and go back to bed. 

That was until you heard the sound of heavy footfalls. Shit. Tearing off the covers, you padded lightly across the wooden floor, wishing that Hans wasn’t so opposed to keeping guns in the house. You had nothing to defend yourself with, so kept to the shadows as you left the room. 

Reaching the top of the stairs, you flinched when you saw the shadow of a man making its way toward the stairs. You began to back away, back into the safety of your room, until you recognized the familiar silhouette of the man. Don’t tell me…

Cautiously, you made your way downstairs, barely making a noise. You had to stifle a gasp once you reached the bottom, your suspicions confirmed when you saw Arthur standing in your dining room, back to you, glancing over the newspaper you’d set on the table. His hair was longer, his clothing unkempt, but it was still the same man you had fallen for.

Too many emotions ran through you, from anger to longing to desire to sadness. You couldn’t tell if you wanted to kiss him or punch him in the face, and so you just stood at the bottom of the stairs, shocked. 

Eventually, Arthur turned, the only sign of him being startled was his eyes widening. Those beautiful blue eyes that had haunted your thoughts, that you longed to see again. You let out a small gasp then, audible only to you. It was really hard to remain still, every fiber of your being craving to be in his arms again, to feel his lips on yours. 

Neither of you knew what to say, just staring at each other. Even in the low light, you could see that Arthur looked exhausted, bags under his eyes and his shoulders sagging. Being on the run would do that to a man. “So Javier wasn’t kiddin’. You’re alive.” You didn’t care that your voice was scathing. 

Javier must’ve said something to him, because Arthur didn’t seem surprised that you mentioned the other man. If you ever met him again, you’d have to thank him for sticking to his word about delivering a message. “I…” he rubbed at the back of his neck, “I’ll leave.” Oh, how you missed his rugged voice. 

Arthur turned to head back out the front door. “Stay. Please.” You called out, making your voice softer, stopping him in his tracks. Don’t leave me again. 

He took a deep breath before turning back around, somethin like guilt on his features. “It’s been three weeks, Arthur.” You sighed out.

“I know, darlin’.” You nearly broke then, his name for you crumbling your resolve. Yet you held, fingers gripping the railing with a death grip. “There was an… incident-”

“The shootout in town,” you cut him off. “Don’t sugarcoat things. I know what you get up to. I know the things you’ve done.”

Arthur didn’t bother to try to disagree, and you were thankful for that. “After the shootout in Rhodes, I couldn’t risk comin’ over to see ya’.”

“I understand, but that was only a few days ago. Arthur, it's been three weeks.” You didn’t bother to hide the pain in your voice. “I’ve missed you.”

“Me too.”

“Then where’ve you been?” He didn’t respond, and you laughed bitterly. “I thought you were dead, Arthur. Or you were about to be strung up in the gallows. Or you… I was worried sick, and the only reason I knew you weren’t dead was because Javier told me.”

“I’m sorry-”

“I don’t want your apology, I want an explanation.” You let go of the railing. “Why?” Arthur hung his head, and you began to step towards him. 

“You deserve somethin’ better, darlin’.”

“And you thought the best thing for me was to leave me alone and heartbroken. And who is this ‘someone better’ I deserve? Hans? No, I don’t think so.”

“I ain’t much better! You said it yourself, you know the things I’ve done. I’ve killed people, so many I’ve lost track. Hell, I was the one who killed Sheriff Gray. My whole life I’ve tricked and duped and betrayed people; I ain’t a good man’. You’re too sweet, too kind. You deserve somethin’ better than that, than me.”

“You think I didn’t know that you’ve hurt people, Arthur? You didn’t think when you said you were an outlaw that I wouldn’t, I don’t know, realize you’ve done some unlawful things? I know what kind of man you are, and who you claim to be, yet when I think of you I think of a man that is also good, generous, sweet.” You continued to move towards him, even as he shook his head. 

“A man that would come check up on a sad woman in the woods just ‘cause she asked, that would find her family’s address so she could write to them.” You were close enough to him that you could reach out and touch him.

“A man that’s made my miserable existence feel worthwhile, that has become the best goddamn part of my life.” His hands were shaking, you found when you took one of them in both of yours. Those familiar calloused fingers were oh so comforting, and you brought them close to your heart.

You took a deep breath. “A man that I’ve completely fallen in love with.”

His hands stopped shaking, or maybe yours were. You couldn’t tell. 

Arthur was speechless, but you could tell that he didn’t oppose your confession, because he pulled you closer. His free hand cupped the side of your face, thumb brushing your cheek. “You shouldn’t…”

“Too late now, Arthur.” You breathed out. “I… I love you.”

“You shouldn’t.” He repeated again with more edge, but you could see how conflicted he was. “Nothin’ good is gonna come from it.”

“How can you be so certain?” 

“Because every damn good thing in my life gets ruined. Every person I lo- care ‘bout, I make their lives worse, and they regret ever openin’ their hearts to me. Did ya know I almost married a girl, then I ruined that. I- I had a kid,” his voice grew thick with emotion, “and he’s no longer with us. All because of me, and the life I lead. All because wherever I go, someone’ll be huntin’ down the people I care about, no matter how innocent they are. I couldn’t live with myself if somethin’ happened to you ‘cause of me.”

Oh. You were speechless now, and your heart ached for the man in front of you. “Arthur… I can’t guarantee that somethin’ won’t happen to me, but do you really wanna live your life in fear, pushing away those who care about you?”

“I can’t lose you, darlin’. I can’t.” 

“But you almost did, pushin’ me away like that. What then?”

“I…” he took a shaky breath, his hand sliding down to hold the side of your neck gently. “I don’t know.”

“So don’t push me away. Yes, it’s terrifying, caring about someone like this. You don’t think I worry ‘bout you every time you’re not here? That I don’t worry that we’ll be found out, and this whole thing will come burning down around us? But isn’t it worth it? ”

He sighed, before resting his head against yours, his hat sliding back a bit. “It is.”

“Then mean it. To yourself. To me.” His lips were so close now, and you wanted nothing more than to close the space between them. You let go of his hand, choosing to rest your hands on his chest instead. You could feel his heart beating rapidly under your fingers, just as fast as yours was. “I love you, Arthur, and there isn’t a damn thing you can say that’ll change that.”

Arthur exhaled shakily, and even in the dim light you could see a small smile on his lips. “And I’m grateful for your stubbornness.” You chuckled lightly at his words. “I’ve been a fool-”

“None of that. You ain’t a fool, Arthur.”

“Maybe not. But I’m a fool for you.” You rolled your eyes at his cheesy comment, knees growing weak at the now grin on his face. That dazzling, beautiful grin. But his expression sobered, and you temporarily feared the worst. “You should know that I do feel the same, darlin’. I really do. It’s just, I can’t…”

“You can’t say it back,” you refrained from sounding too crestfallen. You could be content with the fact that he agreed he felt the same. For now. He shook his head, looking ashamed, and you forced his gaze back up to yours when he tried to look away. “Then show me. Show me that you love me.”

“I could spend every last minute of my life showin’ you, and it still wouldn’t be enough time,” he chuckled, his thumb brushing just below your bottom lip. His eyes followed the movement, and something darkened in them. “But I can certainly try.”

He leaned in, finally closing the distance, and you felt like you could cry with relief. His lips felt even better than you remembered, more desperate than you’d ever felt them. You dropped his hand, arms wrapping around his neck as he continued to kiss you, his hat falling to the ground as you tangled your fingers in his hair. He pulled away far too soon for your liking, the hand still holding your face brushing your cheek. “Darlin’, you’re cryin’,” he murmured, his brow creasing with concern. 

“Good tears,” you laughed, a genuine smile gracing your lips. “I just missed you, so much.”

Another flash of guilt appeared on his face. “You promise?”

“Promise.” He regarded you for a few moments, and you nearly pulled him back down yourself, desperate to feel his lips again. Luckily, you didn’t have to wait too long, because he was kissing you again, weeks of pent up longing, fear, and love being poured into it. It made you dizzy, and your fingers tangled further into his hair, eliciting a groan from the man. 

Arthur’s free hand gripped your waist, fingers digging into the soft flesh as he kissed you. They gripped even harder when you ran your tongue against his lips, not expecting you to take control of the kiss. He willingly let his lips part, letting you explore him with ease. 

You hadn’t even realized Arthur had moved until you felt your back hit a wall, the back of your head cradled by his hand. It made you groan, breaking away from the kiss, and Arthur wasted no time trialing his lips down your neck. Your head rolled back, letting out pleased sighs and light moans as he littered kisses across your neck, his facial hair ticking the sensitive skin.

“Arthur,” you groaned, hands still in his hair, and you felt him hum in response. 

“My beautiful girl,” you heard him mutter, more to himself than anything, and you were grateful for the stability the wall provided. The hand on your waist moved down, securing under your thigh and lifting it so that your leg wrapped around him. You inadvertently began to rock your hips, eliciting another delicious groan from Arthur.

“God, Arthur, I need you.” You didn’t care if you were pleading. You’d been plenty patient; you were allowed to be greedy. 

“I’m takin’ my time with ya. We’ve got all night.”

Another groan tore from your throat. All night. “You promise?” You asked, echoing his previous words. If he was promising all night, then you could be patient for a little while longer.

You felt him grin against your skin, nipping lightly at the junction of your neck and shoulder. “Promise.”

Author's Note: surprise javier appearance bam!

[dioslesbianwife]

Hi I think your villain headcannons are well thought out. I’m not too familiar with the other vaillains frame of thinking but I could talk for hours about Dio’s brain because I think too hard about stuff like this 💀 anyways I think your writing is great and I get excited whenever I see you post and I look forward to things in the future ^-^ (I was referencing your crushes one for some fanfic I’m writing at the time too).

My question for the villains is how would they react to snow/cold/winter? I was wondering how Dio would feel about it and I’m on the fence between not caring enough to have an opinion and hating the cold. Maybe he would like. I don’t know.

Of course! This is a great headcannon idea. Also thank you so much for the kind words :) , I’d totally love to check out that fanfic! Also you’re my first headcannon request so thanks again, tried to make these a bit longer than my usual headcannons, (totally agree that dio’s one of the most interesting characters to analyze)

Jofoe Winter Headcannons 🤍

Dio

Loathes the cold. He’s already cold all the time, so winter weather feels like an insult to his existence. He sees it as nature’s cruel mockery of his frigid, undead body. He dramatically declares that the weather conspires to weaken him but cannot succeed, yet refuses to step outside unless necessary.

If he has to go out, he wears the most extravagant fur lined coat imaginable, looking like a 19th century aristocrat. He treats the occasion like a royal event and expects everyone to admire his impeccable taste.

He’ll complain that “humans are such foolish creatures” for building civilizations in places where it snows.

To compensate, he’ll demand a roaring fire in every room and might even force “convince” some random person to keep it going 24/7. Complains constantly about drafts in the house, though he never fixes them himself. Instead, he demands the others tend to his comfort.

Despite his distaste for the cold, he secretly finds snow beautiful. He’ll stand by the window at night, admiring the way moonlight reflects off the snow.

Spends long winter evenings in front of a roaring fire, reading old books or sipping blood/wine.

Kars

Kars is unimpressed by cold weather. He views it as just another part of Earth’s natural cycles, just another challenge for lesser beings, and adapts without complaint.

He doesn’t feel the cold like humans do but finds snow mildly inconvenient for walking or hunting.

Secretly appreciates the beauty of untouched snow and might spend a quiet moment observing snow covered landscapes.

He doesn’t feel too strongly about cold weather though he does enjoy seeing some of the others not being at their best due to the low temperatures.

He appreciates the hushed serenity of winter nights, where everything feels still and timeless.

Yoshikage Kira

Kira finds cold weather to be peaceful and enjoys how it makes everything quiet and still. Winter appeals to Kira’s love of quiet and order. He appreciates how snow blankets the world in stillness, muffling the noise and chaos he dislikes.

He meticulously layers his clothing to stay warm, dressing impeccably for the cold, with perfectly tailored coats, scarves, and gloves. All the pieces match and complement each other.

Prefers to stay indoors and sip tea by the heater, reading or listening to music while ignoring the chaos anyone else may cause.

He despises anything messy, so slush, mud, or salt stains in the house are a nightmare for him. He’s particular about keeping the house clean during winter, and he’ll passive aggressively remind everyone to “wipe their shoes properly.”

Kira enjoys winter traditions in moderation, such as watching an old film or reading by the fire, but dislikes overly festive activities like loud holiday parties or messing around in the snow.

Enjoys watching snowflakes fall while standing outside, feeling a rare moment of calm and connection with the world.

Diavolo

Diavolo is not a fan of winter. He finds the cold annoying and views snowy conditions as nothing but a hindrance. Sees it as yet another obstacle in his already convoluted life. Snowstorms, icy roads, and freezing temperatures are just disruptions.

He refuses to dress for the weather, insisting on wearing his usual clothing, even if it means freezing.

Diavolo despises the festive cheer of the season, avoiding any holiday gatherings or traditions.

Enjoys the eerie silence of snowstorms. It reminds him of the isolation he prefers.

Doppio

Doppio enjoys winter a lot more than Diavolo. Doppio is practical and down to earth about winter. While he doesn’t love the cold, he handles it with a quiet sense of responsibility.

He’s bundled up despite Diavolo muttering that he looks ridiculous.

He probably slips on ice a lot but laughs it off quickly. Snow doesn’t tend to settle long where he’s from in Italy (as far as I know), so he’ll take advantage of it and try to enjoy himself.

Doppio enjoys winter for the moments of peace it brings. He likes sitting by the fire with a cup of coffee, catching up on personal projects or reflecting on the year and business in Passione.

Enrico Pucci

Pucci views winter as a time of reflection and spiritual renewal. He sees the snow as a metaphor for purity. He finds a lot of meaning in the season’s challenges.

He remains calm and composed, unfazed by the cold weather. If anything, he uses the season as an opportunity to deepen his faith through prayer and meditation. He may even take some time to fast.

He maintains his composure in all weather, dressing appropriately but without extravagance. His winter wardrobe is simple yet elegant.

Prefers to spend winter evenings reading religious texts by candlelight or sitting by a fire, contemplating his plans. He dislikes excessive holiday celebrations, seeing them as distractions, but he might participate minimally.

He greatly enjoys the solitude of snowy evenings as it’s perfect for introspection.

Likes the way snow transforms the world, making everything look clean and untouched. A visual metaphor for his ideals.

Funny Valentine

Valentine treats winter like it’s a symbol of resilience and pride. He gives rousing speeches about the strength of enduring cold weather for the greater good. He embraces the season as an opportunity to showcase strength and perseverance.

He’s well prepared for winter, dressing in layers of elegant coats and scarves. He oozes an air of authority even in the harshest snowstorm.

Enjoys hosting grand dinners by the fire during the holiday season, using the occasion to strengthen alliances or spread his patriotic beliefs.

Valentine dislikes the inconvenience of icy roads and sidewalks but won’t complain openly, considering it beneath him.

He’ll talk everyone’s ear off about how when he was younger, he’d shovel snow or how back in the military he’d gone through cold weather training. These things build character, strengthen the spirit, etc etc.

Secretly enjoys writing in the snow with a stick, leaving messages or symbols that only he understands.

My Dumb group Headcannons:

Doppio starts a snowball fight, having always wanted to try one, but Dio escalates it into all-out war. Kars refuses to participate but critiques everyone’s aim. Kira and Pucci go back inside. Funny Valentine builds a military grade snow fort but by the time he’s done everyone’s already gone inside.

Pucci insists on a tasteful, minimalist approach to holiday decorating, Dio adds gaudy decor after Pucci leaves the room, but Kira and Diavolo don’t want any decorations and team up to take them down.

Kira quietly takes charge of cooking, ensuring everything is perfect, while Valentine waits till Kira leaves the kitchen to make some dishes he’s personally familiar with because he’s extra like that. Dio complains if his preferences aren’t catered to.

Diavolo refuses to shovel the driveway, leaving Doppio to struggle with it while Kars criticizes his technique, explaining how easily a superior lifeform like himself could do it much faster, making Doppio’s eye twitch in irritation.

•••••••••••••

Hope you enjoyed! I love these weirdos.

[transtalesofdoom]

The Egg Years and being Cis-Adjacent

I originally made this blog to talk about my new and exciting trans experience, so let's go do that. Long post, obviously and I just figured out how to do the Keep Reading thing

I didn't have any inherent dysphoria growing up, I was just a bit of a not-like-other-girls tomboy. Jeans were comfier than dresses, boobs and bras were sooo inconvenient, make up just meant more effort. Books and video games were more fun than going out to party. I wasn't good at dancing anyway. And don't even get me started on shaving your legs.

It became obvious to me that I wasn't strictly cis pretty much as soon as I learned that gender wasn't binary. It was common sense, really. If gender is a spectrum, very few people would actually find themselves on the very end of either side. So most people were just close enough to either end of the spectrum to consider themselves cis. Including myself.

As my understanding of gender grew, it became more and more ridiculous to assume anyone was 100% cis. There's always some criterion you don't fully meet. Of course, people could still use and identify with the label of cis, clearly there was some sort of leeway. But calling myself cis started to feel wrong. It felt like I was ignoring the very nature of gender as a vast spectrum by picking a label rooted in the binary. I was cis, but in a queer way. I started calling myself cis-adjacent when talking to other queer people.

I never had a "problem" with my assigned gender at birth, outside of the patriarchy and sexism and periods, but those weren't trans reasons to resent being a woman. Being a woman suited me well enough. I wouldn't have cared if I wasn't, if I woke up one day without boobs, I'd just go on and fit into shirts much more easily. I considered "gender-apathetic" as a label, but ultimately it felt like too much hassle for something I was indifferent about.

Really, that was what it came down to. I was close enough to being cis, I didn't have any internal problems with calling myself a woman or living as one. Sure, there probably was something more accurate for me out there, but I knew about the struggles trans people faced. A good friend of mine had come out as trans and started his transition. I was happy for him, but I also got to see the difficulties it brought to update paperwork and book appointments and constantly emailing professors about your new name and pronouns. Not to mention the whole coming out to family thing. Or transphobia. There wasn't enough suffering in me to submit myself to this much effort and misery. Or force everyone in my life to learn a new set of pronouns and name for me, irrevocably changing every single relationship I had in the process. I didn't even want to be a man anyway. Just look a little more like one.

And I could easily present pretty masculine without transitioning. I only wore pants anyway. And hoodies were super comfy. I cut my hair short more than once. I considered buying a binder, just to see what that would do for me, but every time I tried looking into it, I just got overwhelmed and, like I said, there wasn't enough suffering to justify spending 50 bucks and at least one extensive research session on it. Ironically enough, during my last year as cis-adjacent, I finally reconnected with a part of my femininity and wore dresses to special occasions again.

However, a new problem had found my body: The unstoppable passage of time. I wasn't a perky teenager anymore. My body gained weight, my boobs succumbed to gravity, and I had very little in common with what was considered a beautiful woman. Even a beautiful butch woman didn't look like me. No one beautiful looked like me, really. I told myself that I had a lot of internalized misogyny and fatphobia to unlearn. That the reason I started disliking my reflection was social conditioning. I was right about that, of course. But there was more to it that I, in my self-righteous blaming of society, didn't acknowledge.

Until the last full moon night of 2023, when my mirror reflected a ghost back at me.

[kobold-that-bites-people]

you know, there's a certain alienation to being transfem, that really doesn't feel too dissimilar to that of having been severely depressed growing up. so much of what society would expect me to learn growing up is simply lost, either due to having not having found the terms to call myself trans yet, or from dysphoria interfering with function.

there's the obvious things lost to a childhood being treated as a boy. there's having to teach yourself how to take care of your hair, because as a guy the only advice you were given was "just brush it" and "guys never take care of it anyway" and "just cut it off already". there's needing to teach yourself how to do makeup, despite having neither family to teach you nor social spaces where it's accepted to just not be good at makeup yet. there's needing to completely learn from scratch how to dress yourself in a way that is at all appealing, when you spent your entire youth avoiding mirrors and desperately avoiding clothes shopping where you'd be pushed into ever more masculine garb. there's the countless relationships severed from coming out, both from people who weren't cool about it and from people who were just in the same spaces as people that gave you trouble.

but there's also the more subtle things. having to relearn how to like yourself at all, to learn how to like your body at all. having to learn to take care of yourself. when you've spent your entire life desperately hating every part of you, that has ongoing effects, even after you find out why. the idea of getting my hair cut still terrifies me, even when it's wholly on my own terms, because for my whole youth i was constantly threatened with it being shaved off. the idea of other people in the cramped room i can call my own still frightens me, because i spent my youth with my family threatening to come in and shave off my hair while i slept, and what if they found the few tiny things that gave me the smallest modicum of relief from the constant dysphoria? (in my case i had some women's clothing magazines i'd stolen from the mail, i used to spend so long fantasizing about what it must be like to fit into such clothes)

and even ignoring emotional effects, there's still the physical signs. almost all of which wouldn't be there had the option of being trans been clear when i was younger. even ignoring the small signs of having been forced onto testosterone for so many years, the body hair and the narrow hips and the beard shadow. i still have countless scars from grappling with living in that constant self-hatred. the marks across my arms and legs where the body hair grew in thickest, across my chest that felt so painfully wrong to me.

all these things combine to leave me constantly feeling like i'm playing catchup. i've been out as trans for about three and a half years now, and yet the role i'm trying to fill socially expects me to have been functioning as a girl for 5-6 times that. i'm here still getting caught off guard by period cramps every month and trying to wrap my head around the basics of makeup, meanwhile to function in open society i'm expected to either present as a guy (you might as well ask me to stab myself) or present as a woman, when i've barely even been a girl for a couple years.

and that's all ignoring the expense. so much of this can be simplified if only you have the money for it. it's so much easier to find clothes you can pass in when you aren't limited to thrift stores (where of course nothing fits because you're a full six inches taller than the average girl) it's so much easier to learn makeup when you can afford to buy any in the first place. it's so much easier to work on your voice, when you can afford to work with an actual voice therapist instead of just relying on tutorials online. it's so much easier to deal with beard shadow, when you can afford electrolysis to deal with it entirely instead of constantly struggling to hide it.

and all these things compound. it's hard to present as a confident functional "woman", when you're constantly second guessing how one thing or another could get you clocked as trans. and all of that is just the purely trans matters. if you've got other things complicating matters, they feed into each other.

i'm not really sure where i'm going with this, i just wanted to get it off my chest. i guess conclusion is... throw some money at a broke transfem, gods know we're working with a stacked deck. you can hit my venmo at @koboldthatbitesyou, but i'm sure there's even more broke transfems elsewhere. i at least have mostly stable housing and food atm, even if no income.

[angelllbby222]

Conflicted Chapter 24🎀:

Maddy P.O.V

Slash left my room shortly after our conversation complaining that he needed a drink, and got up to stroll over to my window, where I found Axl resting on the pool recliner, deep in contemplation.

I sighed as my thoughts turned back to Izzy, wondering where he was and what he was doing. I walked downstairs to check for him while the boys were watching a hellish movie, which Axl later joined, totally overlooking me.

I didn't take offense and gave him some space, assuming I was giving him misleading signals.I feel like I gave Slash the wrong answer earlier when he asked who I expected to spend the rest of my life with, and I responded Axl mostly because I was angry with Izzy for becoming mad at Axl and me.

He was constantly angry at me when I spoke with Axl, which made me angry for the most part, especially because I was only having conversations with him.

But it appears he was right after all; I felt like an awful person for kissing Axl on the boat, but I wasn't going to tell him since I was certain he would never forgive me because he loathed Axl.

“Maddy, are you gonna stand there and stare or go back upstairs?” Duff groaned, throwing some popcorn at me, while Steven giggled throughout the scene that was playing, that involved a girl being fucked by a dude sporting a ghostface mask.

“What movie is this?” I asked, grimacing at the girl whose mascara was streaked over her cheeks and hair disheveled.

“It’s called Scream XXX.” Slash smirked, before returning his lustful gaze back to the female being aggressively penetrated with her hair yanked back.

“Go away Maddy.” Duff complained.

“Yeah.” Axl proceeded, reverting to his unpleasant attitude, laughing as he muttered something underneath his breath.

I ignored it and exhaled, deciding to head back upstairs, however just as I planned on calling it a night, I noticed the front door open and Izzy enter.

“Izzy!” I squealed and ran to hug him.

“He kissed you.” he spat as if he had been holding it in the entire time he was gone from me, followed with a catastrophic glare.

"It didn't mean anything to me I promise. I was thinking about you the whole time." I stated frantically, standing on my tiptoes and grasping his cheeks in my hands to ensure he understood.

“Just tell me one thing…do you love him?” he sighed, peering into my eyes as he waited for an answer.

“No I don’t.” I lied.

I heard Axl scoff as he whispered something under his breath behind us, and I turned around to meet his stare, sending him a softhearted look, but I couldn't do anything else since Izzy would have suspected that I loved him, so I dismissed Axl no matter how much it hurt.

"Let’s go upstairs, m'tired." he yawned, removing his long black coat to toss over the stair railing, wrapping his arm around my shoulder, pushing me close, as we headed up the steps.

We entered my room, and I turned off the lights, allowing my lamp to shine brightly, and switched on the television to watch something since I wasn't tired.

Izzy took off his shirt and boxers before slipping into bed and I also changed into my nightgown, a purple babydoll with white lace trim around the cleavage and the bottom hem.

“You look pretty.” he whispered reaching up one hand to stroke my hair that was combed straight allowing my soft blond hair to shine in the dim light, and my skin glow from exfoliating earlier in the shower and putting sweet smelling moisturizer all over my body for Izzy to later touch, allowing his hand to slide down my neck, caressing my collarbone down to my breast, massaging softly like a sensual massage.

“C’mere.” he demanded, grabbing my cheeks with his hand, squishing them together into a pout.

I tried to murmur a reply through his grip on my cheeks, gazing up at him with glossy eyes, while he teased me about repeating myself and speaking louder.

“You have to kiss me first.” he smirked.

I pushed myself forward slamming my lips onto his, while he kept his hold on my lips, in a pout, remaining his dominance, hungrily abusing my lips, until they were swollen and red.

He released his grip on my cheeks, leaving a faint red imprint on each side from how deeply his fingers dug into me while making out.

“I want you to touch me all over my body and make love to me." I whispered, allowing my babydoll nightgown to fall past my hardened nipples before catching his hand in mine and guiding him to my breast, stroking it while keeping my hand over his.

He dragged down the rest of my dress, allowing it to fall past my ankles so he could massage and touch every inch of my skin that appeared to be gleaming with tiny diamonds from the strawberry lotion I had applied earlier.

I squirmed under his touch feeling his cold hands touching everywhere before gently spreading my thighs leaning forward to suction over the soft plushy skin as his chain dangled forward ticking the top of clit.

“I love this pussy. So fucking beautiful like my baby.” he cooed, as he closed his eyes placing a big wet kiss on my outer lips making me squeal.

I played with my breasts, circling my nipples with my eyes closed, releasing soft whimpers and quiet open mouthed moans as I felt him make out with my lower region, licking, sucking, and spitting on it while taking his time to play with my clit, occasionally rubbing it with his pointer and ring fingers.

“Izzy keep g-going. Uhnn- gonna cum.” I whined, huffing and grabbing onto his long black locks of hair as I desperately rutted my needy hips against his tongue, panting out for more.

He slapped my ass before pulling away with a trail of my juices connecting himself to my pussy, not wanting me to orgasm just yet.

“You’re gonna cum on my cock.” he groaned, collecting strings of my wetness on his dick by sandwiching his cock in between my sticky lips, mixing his precum with my arousal, before slipping inside me very slowly so I could feel it going inside.

“Fuuck, you’re so tight.”

“Hmph, for you I-Iz, only for you.” I cried, feeling his cock deep inside me, creating an outline on my stomach, as he carefully thrust in and out of me like I was very delicate and could break at any time, kissing my neck leaving vivid purple spit covered bruises.

I kissed him eagerly, enjoying being covered in his spit while he passionately kissed me, slowly drawing away each time, making sure that there was a loud pop every time we separated.

“You like being drenched in my spit baby?” Izzy whispered adjusting himself before slamming back into my wet heat keeping the same steady pace, as I squeezed onto him tightly feeling my orgasm approaching.

“Y-Yes l-love it.” I blabbered, moaning small “uh”s.

“Gotta go slow, in this fucking tight ass pussy.” he groaned unable to concentrate, as he was about to blow his load.

“I love you.” I whined, grabbing his face, loving the feeling of his lips brushing against mine.

He quickened his thrust as he felt me clench around him and my eyes rolled back, my mouth dropping wide in a faint moan as he massaged my clit, making me spasm and my legs shake.

“I love you I love you I love you.” he chanted filling my pussy with warm spurts of his cum, letting it dribble down my thigh.

“Mmph, m’tired now too.” I whimpered, cuddling into him as I nodded off.

“Goodnight baby.” he whispered covering us with the sheets.

… … …

“Maddy.” someone kept whispering, waking me up and making me glance on drowsily.

Izzy was fast asleep next to me, and my gaze shifted to the cracked door, through which Axl's head could be seen.

“Come here.” he said again, moving his hand in an inviting motion for me to approach him.

I groaned, getting out of bed.

“What is it?”

“Since you don't love me and all, I think it would be best to come clean about what you said to me that night on the boat." he casually stated, catching me off guard.

“Wait what? I- I didn’t -

“Save it.” he spit, clenching his jaw while he rolled his eyes.

“I won’t tell him anything.” I firmly replied.

“Oh really?” he rhetorically asked, raising a brow.

“Izzy doesn’t need to know anything because it doesn’t matter.”

“You can’t tell me that the way I feel about you doesn’t matter to you.”

“I- No of course, it does. But, I’m with Izzy and I have to put him above anybody.”

“I didn’t take you for a bitch, but I guess I was wrong about that too.” he muttered as he quickly walked away.

I sighed, letting my head fall against the wall, annoyed with the entire situation that I appeared to have created.

“Is everything okay? I thought I heard someone arguing?” Izzy inquired, peeking out my door.

“Everything is just fine.” I sighed, slipping between him and my door.

Meanwhile, Axl was downstairs rambling on about Maddy, unknowing to everyone but Slash, who had spoken with the young girl the night the two men argued.

She was unhappy with Izzy that day and erratically mentioned Axl. But the curly haired guitarist knew better because of the way Maddy acted with Izzy, she was blindly in love with the man, but Axl was a ticking time bomb, and he couldn't stand being tossed aside by anyone, let alone the girl he loved.

It was just a matter of time before he flipped out on Izzy again, and Maddy would be dragged into it indefinitely this time.

[999kintsugi]

stats / plots / muse

heyyy part 2 except this time i'm trying to be shorter dear god. this is my second muse eunjae, cloudstepping her way through life and vibes tbqh. she's the younger and cooler of the moon twins at #301. recently on a bit of a reckless & self destructive streak after spending most of her life trussed up in her family's trophy case. see under the cut for more info, and like this post if you'd like to plot & i'll reach out if we aren't already talking!

eunjae, '97

she/her for convenience but any pronouns really. her pronouns aren't indicative of her gender (to her!) anyways, so she dgaf how people refer to her

cloud manipulation is v much what it says on the tin. she can manifest cloud bodies from existing moisture through some science that i shamefully don't 100% understand.

cold/dry environments are v detrimental to her abilities. they make it difficult, if not impossible, for her to use her powers. if she pushes herself anyway, it very quickly becomes painful

minor ability: cloudwalking ! allows her some minor "flight," though it's very contingent on her focus and she constantly needs to be on the move from one cloud to another bc they can't sustain her weight for long.

aesthetic ability but otherwise....not a lot of useful applications. thank god, she thinks

the journey so far:

was a gifted ballet dancer in her youth

the tldr is that her parents were hoping that she and her twin would both be gifted with precognitive abilities, something to bring some respect to the family name yk. instead, ironically, she manifests clouds.

it's a bit of a slap to the face, she has clouded vision, etc etc. it honestly checks out: she only got into ballet bc she saw how proud her mother was of her, and that was all that defined her for a while. she never had anything self defined for a v long time. anything that could have been considered hers, she always shared with her twin (hey seonjae @/recollectionblue). formless, faceless, aimless, like of course you're cloud aligned 🫵

at least after she manifests her ability, she's able to work it into her routines. the audiences go wilddd they love watching her dance on clouds, sooo light and graceless and lovely, and she's so deep in that safety blanket of approval that she doesn't really think to look for anything else.

she gets separated from her twin eventually bc their parents are assholes. she doesn't even hear about it, cities away training for the big leagues; by the time she finally does, he's gone and no one will tell her how to find him. their parents say that seonjae went somewhere that can help him with his powers. they say that she can't distract him, just like she can't let this distract from her performance. they say he wanted to go.

it doesn't sit right with her. that is her TWIN she can literally feel smth is wrong. but at the same time, what does she know? he's the one who was gifted with precognition, he's the older twin, how can she possibly imagine the pressure he must be under?? what it must be like??

so she stays and keeps her parents happy. keeps performing and tries to ignore the growing weight in her chest.

in the middle of one of her big performances, she feels it: something's gone wrong with seonjae. she doesn't know what it is, but she suddenly knows so clearly that she has to get out of here, she has to find him.

so, mid-air, she lets go and falls. shatters her ankle, successfully puts herself out of commission. her mother is inconsolable!!!!!

she's been staying at silver line for a couple of years now, but she only recently found seonjae in a bad way. she practically dragged him into staying at silver line with her where she can keep an eye on him.

very much the type to nag (sorry for being her mother's daughter ough) but hypocritical about it. every other week, she's in daemon joining fights ( as suan ) purely for the adrenaline rush and feeling like she has more agency over herself and her body. maybe if she hadn't spent 85% of her life both metaphorically and literally posing for stages and upkeeping a physically pristine image, she'd go about this more......erm.......well adjustedly, but . that is not the case rip.

predictably always banged up in some kind of way. she tries to avoid face injuries bc she can't explain that away to her ballet students.

current arc is v much inspired by the philosophy of kintsugi pottery. mostly, she's sick of smoothing over her feelings every time she feels something remotely unpleasant. maybe she wants to be a little fucked up a little chipped a little deranged! and maybe she wants to stop pretending that those messier nastier parts of her don't exist!

otherwise, she teaches beginner classes at a little balet studio in the city !! it's very casual, very much her trying to be the person for these people (usually kids) that she wishes she had when she was younger. does NOT want those two sides to mesh, so if u know her from daemon, you shall NOT mention it outside of daemon.

seeking connection / thread ideas:

her unfinished plots soz...

(fem/gnc/nb muses) targets of her affection... unfortunately she is the type to fall in love a bit with anyone who seems to reciprocate her attention. it's okay if ur muse doesn't reciprocate, i think a lot of her just comes out naturally flirty + she's touchy as hell

this is my second fighter muse but i still have NOT gotten to write any fight threads so please . please other fighters fight with her.

it's not exactly like she's covering her face up around daemon so maybe you saw her there and then you saw her around the building. she'll Lose it she needs you to promise not to tell her twin.

shy/quiet people who she can try to pull out of their shells, she's always been the "they asked for no pickles" friend ykwim

someone she keeps trying to drag out but doesn't realize that she's continuously annoying them lmao

someone who's in trouble one night and she happens to run into them -- and wow, her powers actually come in handy for once? she brings a wall of thick fog down on them and gets ur muse OUT of there

in the rare times her mind is quiet and doesn't compel her to go gallivanting around just to feel something, she's usually up on the roof, maybe smoking something. i'd love someone who actually gets to know her past her v dynamic/almost frenetic exterior. at the end of the day she's just someone trying to protect the family she's got left while trying to carve out something that's finally well and truly Hers :|

once again thank u if you got this far waa

[kandidandi]

God I have been thinking so much about your ysf au and the comment of Moon attempting to get rid of his claws more or less unleashed the brainworms on HOW Moon would get rid of them (First time I had to jot down notes for an idea). Dis ask is gonna be slightly long since I've got 4-ish different scenarios, which are dependent on the structure of Moon's body and the tools available wherever he locked himself in.

1st scenario

Assuming that his jaw can move and his teeth are metal (or something with similar properties), he'll bite the tips of his fingers off, like how humans can. Now that he has bitten off his claws, realization would set in that his teeth are also dangerous. 2 possible ways to neturalizing the danger; 1. He rips his teeth n jaw out (getting rid of the danger) or 2. Locking his jaw shut (no opening, no danger). 2nd way has lesser consequences, since nothing would be exposed. 1st way would eventually lead to total dismantlement, ripping out the jaw would just expose more hazards and removing those new hazards would just start the Domino effect.

2nd scenario

Assuming that the claws are retractable, easier to just rip them off (thats it honestly, not much destruction here)

3rd scenario

Jaw won't open and claws are built into endoskeleton. Moon would either break them off (difficult due to claws having a tiny surface area) orr slowly file them down. Hopefully he has access to a metal file so the process of filing dem claws don't take as long. If not, well, it's a longgg and agonizingly slow process of filing his claws slowly on the concrete floors/ceramic tiled floors to the point that his fingertips are blunt.

4th scenario

Basically he finds a hole small enough to fit part of his claw into and just snaps it off using leverage.

1st scenario is a quick route to straight up dismantling himself (biting fingers off just leaves for more dangers present, with the wires and such).

3rd scenario is my favourite, just cause of the potential agony both AIs would face (and also the amount time I spent thinking about this single scene).

Moon's need to rid the danger is so so very urgent, but process of filing can't be sped up, so much so when you don't even have the right equipment. Even better if there are 'pain receptors' in the fingers (am I evil? Kinda). Moon having to bear such slow pain while also having the time to constantly recall the scene with the actions that disfigured y/n and thinking of all afternaths that can happen, as he's filling them off. The constant repeating noise of scratching against the floor wouldn't drive Moon insane, but for Sun it definitely would.

With Moon ignoring Sun in every capacity, Sun is left hearing this noise. He could turn off his audio receptors sure, but the noiseless void would be much much worse. So he bears listening to this noise, fully knowing what's making it and the reason for its existence

In short, Moon drowns in regret n guilt; Sun is alone with the noise being his only company, along with his thoughts. Both of them going too deep for either of them to help each other in time.

----------------------------------------------

Rambling over wheew. Did I spend too much time thinking about this? Yes. Will I regret some of my takes later? Definitely

Spent about an hour or 2 writing this idea out, which went out of hand honestly speaking. Sorry if the wall of text is disorientating, my brain doesn't enjoy words to be wording right in general. Anyway it's about 4am for me sooo, Guten Nacht!! o7

-beep boop.

OH MAAN PAINGE THIS IS SO GOOD SFDHFDS yes i like the third option the most but man the other ones are insane aswell thanks for this massive ask btw woah /gen /pos

[crmsnmth]

That Old Dysphoric Waltz

Some days I hate my teeth I somehow become aware they're in my mouth and I can't stop running my tongue along the edges learning the mountain range of molars And they begin to hurt Because a look in the mirror says they are far to close togethor Clumped into one big coffee stained clump I want to pull them out Tie each one off with fishing line and finding someone to slam the door. Dentures seem like a great idea, but I don't have dental on state funded healthcare I can feel my gums throb from the toothbrush Sometimes spitting more blood then not into the sink clockwise down the drain

Some days I hate the clothes I wear I hate the way they sit on my body, folding over, sleeves riding up, I can feel the tag and I scratch at them and readjust spending far too much time fixing the clothes I have chosen to wear I want to burn them all and start over in a whole new style one that isn't monochrome and something a high school metal kid would wear Looking like I never learned how to grow up Without horror movie shirts and black jeans bandannas and scarves Still a teen with an aged body

Some days I hate the very skin I'm in Seeing all it's flaws and tears and scars Hating the contours made by sharp edges and spikes Despising the ink I thought so hard about before I committed it to flesh I get sickened by seeing the emancipated skin that's tight over visible bones and muscles that are much too small to provide any use Just the strings to an out of tune guitar With a bent neck, so the screws can't be fixed At least not with knowledge I have of such things So I'll just ignore each ache and pain I feel Until they go away, abandonment by ligaments Fingers much too long for praying Eyes half tilted and far away I never look as if I'm paying attention not that I am

Some days I hate the gender that I am the mirror lies to us every chance it gets I hate the shape of my body not seeing the movements felt staying behind doors, learning how to hide any fact like this we just don't talk about unless it's made in jest and in hate So keep your mouth shut and hate in silence Ridicule is avoided by anyone with heart And the confusion only makes things worth Hating your friends because they unknowingly hate part of you It's a pretty messed up way to go about your day Smile and wave, pretend the joke is just a joke And that secretly, everyone around isn't laughing anymore And the joke eventually becomes fear becomes isolation becomes alienation becomes annihilation Small town words spread like a fire in a dry pine forest

Some days I hate my brain Not making any sense And making thoughts that have no view The awkward panic and fear of rejection the need for abandonment and depression Living with chemicals rebuilt from time capsules from 1948 and whatever sedative we can find It's better than gray clothing and frosted glass I never really like a trilogy anyway And I've been on this hate before Letting the conflict of my right vs left battle Figure out what we're going to do today Fatty deposit of electricity That is constantly working to constantly Sabotage and end itself with bad ideas and even worse impulse control I couldn't tell you how to do better

Most days I love everything I am Everything I've stood for Everything I've done Even if I die right now, I have on hell of a story to share And I'll gladly whisper it to the worms Eternity won't be bad speaking to decay Death will wave his hand along my being And I'll talk his fucking ear off about all of my memories I love the face I wear, coffee stained teeth in all And every morning after a shower, I pick my favorite shirts and my comfortable jeans, proud of the hockey mask graphic I see my body and I'm happy it's still here, after all it's been And I see my gender right where it should be, even if the feelings towards my so-called friends don't But that just means my mind has morals and principles And is able to think through complex thought Finding logic and thought and emotion all ripping through it It's downright amazing to think about. It's okay to have bad days It gets better. It will always get better.

[spacepiratenemo]

It's not like I like you, Firecracker! PT2:

It’s not like I like you, Firefart PART 2 ! 

After Nemo repaired the radio and yelled at Ace for no apparent reason, she worked on the Omnis for the rest of the day, ignoring pretty much everyone with a whole lot of sassy attitude. In the evening though, she did what she did every night. Have a seat on the bow of the Moby Dick and look at the moon while falling into melancholy. Her heart felt heavy each time she watched her former home and the feeling of being the only one left constantly ached inside of her, yet there was this longing for an old world lay in ashes. At this point Ace was very much aware that Nemo acted tough, so she wouldn’t cry in front of everyone whenever she missed her family and her brother. 

Hence, he often joined her side at night, chatting, learning about space, playing games. Spending this lonesome time with Nemo usually came with a lot of fun and they often ended up spending most of the night enjoying themselves. He worried about her, frankly so, Nemo didn’t do a whole lot to ease his concerns. Stubborn, always acting like the coolest things since toolbars were invented; it was difficult to get Nemo to open up, or show openly when she wasn’t okay. Even worse, Ace was aware how dangerous the cold could be to her and she never told him when the thermal energy of her body dissipated. He told her countless times that it was okay, she wasn’t taking away his energy, he had enough of it and truth be told, Ace did enjoy her proximity. He wanted his friend to be safe and warm, and not in danger of being freezing cold. 

“I don’t need your help”, “Yadaa, yadaa! I’m fine”, “None ya business, Firecracker!”. He had heard all sorts of protests, arguments, and sassy replies. At some point Ace had enough of it. He wasn’t someone to dare and cross any boundaries, but Ben told him often that she kept herself in critical levels and he wasn’t willing to watch her stubbornness any longer. He cared. Simple as that! 

“It’s not like I like you” = The biggest, most obvious lie ever told!

Author’s Note: Pls keep in mind that the “yellow voice lines” serve as EMOJI and are NOT what the characters are saying. Ace wouldn’t say “oof” just like Nemo wouldn’t say “gangsta” out of context. The yellow voice lines serve as aesthetic, thoughts and emote. Please keep in mind that story-posts are severely shortened and less detailed on IG, due to obvious limitations. Thank you <3

Please check out the first Part on my IG: https://www.instagram.com/r0tt3n_rabbit__/

More fanficiton&story content can be found on my wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/R0tt3n_Rabbit