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toxicanonymity · 1 year ago

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Apple Blossom. Left in Lincoln, pt. 4

7.5k / dads best friend!Joel x virgin!Reader

story master list / joel miller master list

His cheeks turned a little pink and his eyes lit up. He handed you the rag. "What?" you asked. “Nothin',” he said softly and shook his head. “You sure are pretty, darlin’. That’s all.” He dried his hands then gave your butt a squeeze. The moment of domesticity almost made you forget the town was rotting away beneath your feet.

WARNINGS: I8+ mdni, slow-burn horror w/ potentially disturbing implicit content, big girthy age gap (20s/50s), plot, angst, toxic/dark fluff, gaslighting, manipulation, pressure, grooming, grinding, fingering, oral M receiving, pet names and praise. Very TOXIC, dark Joel. Impaired editing.

You fell asleep in Joel’s arms and woke up alone in your bed. The apple blossom was gone from your night stand. You showered and got dressed. You couldn’t find your baseball cap and realized the last time you wore it was in Joel’s orchard. When you came downstairs, Bill and Frank's bedroom door was open. Before you could investigate, you heard screeching outside, then cursing. You ran to the door. Joel was waving his arms and a crow was flying away from him. He had a screwdriver in one hand. He stood up and smoothed his shirt and a feather floated away from him. He was wearing Frank's clothes with his hair freshly slicked back from a shower.

You went outside and looked down at the open vent. You asked, “How’d you get it to come out?”

Joel shrugged with his arms hanging heavy at his sides. "Nowhere else to go. Gotta be patient sometimes.” He bent one knee and put the hand with the screwdriver on his hip, looking up at the roof of the house. He squinted at the chimney. “I reckon we left the fireplace vent open the other night.”

You approached Joel and he extended his free hand for a hug. He stroked your head and looked at you lovingly. You were still taking that in - the fact that Joel told you he loved you. He gave you a kiss on the head and inhaled your scent. Then he went to screw the vent back into the side of the house, and your eyes followed his ass. That was one thing about Joel always having his shirt tucked in - You were very aware of his ass. He was so muscular, almost statuesque to you. His proportions reminded you of classic art.

Joel glanced back as he bent over and your cheeks burned as you looked away from his body.

“Can we plant the strawberries today?” You asked.

“Not the season, darlin’. Won’t survive.”

“Ours are still alive," you said.

“Really?” he asked skeptically.

"Yeah, they just never fruited."

“Show me.” Joel finished screwing the vent back into place then stood up and brushed off his knees.

You led him to the failed strawberry patch and showed him the plants.

“Well I’ll be damned,” Joel said and squatted down to finger the leaves. "You wanna bring’em, guess we can try it."

You were excited to surprise Frank and Bill with fresh strawberries. Once they fruited, maybe you could transplant them somewhere at home too.

"Grab a spade and bucket outta the shed. Some of that cloth, too."

You returned with the requested supplies and Joel said, "Alright, I’ll work on this and you can pick some veggies to take with us if ya want."

“We’re not coming back today?”

“Not ‘til we figure out what’s goin’ on, darlin’.” He put his hands on his knees and stood back up with a groan. “Anything else you wanna plant from here? Arugula?”

You were still processing the idea of leaving home for multiple days. “Sure. Wait, what if we get the computers back up to check the cameras?” you asked. “Then we can see if it’s safe.”

He wiped his brow with the back of the flannel sleeve. “Just looked at ‘em. All static. Lines must've been cut. Been down at least a few days."

"What??" A pit formed in your stomach. This whole time, you should’ve been even more scared than you were. Joel sensed your fear. He stepped forward and put his arm around you. He cradled your head against him. He smelled a little like Frank.

“It’s okay, baby. I’m not leavin’ you again," he reassured you. The low vibration of his voice in his chest was an extra layer to the hug.

You tried to shake off the dark mood that fell over you. "Can we make apple juice?” you asked.

“Sure we can, peaches.”

Joel uprooted some strawberry and arugula while you picked vegetables then brought them inside. You got out the empty apple juice jar to take with you and took the cider jar out of the fridge, too.

Joel walked in and froze. “You’re not drinkin’ that, are ya?”

“No,” you said, but you didn’t want to offend him since he brewed it. “Not right now.”

“But you did?” He stepped forward and looked so serious. Your face went cold.

“Well, no-”

"You shouldn’t be drinkin’ without me, darlin’. It’s not safe.” There was an air of judgment in his voice. You were embarrassed, but shouldn't have been. You were old enough to drink and your house was full of wine. You could have a drink alone if you wanted to. Joel extended his hand and looked at you sternly. “Gimme that.” You felt defensive as if you had done something wrong. Even knowing you hadn't. You suddenly realized you had no idea where his bottle of whiskey was that he left there days ago. He might have thought you drank it, too. You were mortified.

“I was just gonna pour it out so we could use the jar,” you explained as he opened the cider. Joel's face softened and he poured it out in the sink.

“Got plenty of jars at home, baby. Good idea though." He rinsed the jar then patted the back of your head tenderly. It wasn't enough to soothe the feeling of being scolded, but the feeling would fade. You had bigger things to worry about anyway. He just wanted to keep you safe.

On the walk to Joel’s house, you told him all about the night before. How Abe didn’t come by, then you heard Abe's truck, but didn’t see him. You told him about the songs playing on the radio station, which gave you chills to even think about.

Joel heard the distress in your voice and stopped dead in his tracks, disturbed. “Sorry I wasn’t there, darlin’. Never shoulda left ya." He took a deep, ragged breath in. He cupped your cheek. “Guess I didn’t wanna be a bother if ya didn't want me stickin' around.”

You felt a wave of guilt for sending him home each night. You imagined him walking alone in the dark worrying about you, thinking he was bothering you.

"It's okay, Joel," you reassured him. "I should've asked you to stay."

"It's not okay, baby.” He shook his head at himself, then looked at you with grave concern. “What if somethin' happened?"

"Well, I guess it didn’t. I'm okay," you said.

He sighed and cradled the back of your head.

"But I'm worried about Abe," you added.

Joel dropped his hand, and looked off into the distance, jaw muscle flexing.

"What if he's in trouble?" you asked.

Joel took a deep breath and looked in the direction of Abe’s property. "Tell ya what, darlin'. I'll go check on him today, how’s that sound?”

The distress melted away from your face. “Thank you,” you gushed and wrapped him in a hug. He kissed the top of your head.

A bird cried and both of you turned toward the sound. It was a crow. It followed you the rest of the way to Joel's house, squawking obnoxiously.

It was your first time being in Joel’s house. It was about as neat and clean as you expected for the most part. It smelled woodsy and nutty, like pine and almonds, and faintly of apples. He led you upstairs to a spare bedroom and left you there to get settled in. He said to let him know if you needed anything.

You walked around the room and picked things up. There was a dresser, a vanity, and a mirror. On top of the vanity was a jewelry box and a hairbrush. A stationary set. There was a stool at the vanity and a box fan on the floor.

Everything was so perfect and comfortable. It was what you imagined a hotel might be like. Clean and cozy. You sat down on the neatly made bed and took your shoes off. Joel came back a few minutes later and stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame. He looked around the room then nervously put his hands in his pockets. He asked, "What do you think?"

"It's amazing."

He looked relieved. He came over to sit next to you on the bed. "Good," he said. He smiled and his eyes scanned your body. He caressed your neck and planted a kiss on your cheek.

"Can we pick apples to make the juice today?"

"Not today, darlin'. Not 'til we're sure it's safe." He raised your hand to his mouth and kissed it. "Got some apples in the kitchen, though."

Joel made lunch and told you about the different improvements he made to the house and orchard in the past few years. You asked for a tour and he said you could have one after he knew the community was secure. He got up and took the dishes to the sink. He turned on the water to wash them and you got up and volunteered to do them instead. It seemed only fair since he made lunch. You stood next to him at the sink and reached for the rag. His cheeks turned a little pink and his eyes lit up. He hesitantly handed you the rag with a slight smile.

“What?” you asked.

“Nothin',” he said softly and shook his head, looking at the floor. He looked back up at you and sucked his bottom lip. “You sure are pretty, darlin’. That’s all.” He dried his hands on a clean towel, then gave your butt a little squeeze. You smiled and giggled silently. The moment of domesticity made you forget the town was rotting away beneath your feet.

Joel moved to stand close behind you and put his hands on your hips. He spoke softly into the crown of your head. “I'll go take a look around the neighborhood and check on Abe.”

You turned your head and nodded, “thank you, Joel.”

His voice got low and serious, but remained gentle. “Stay here. Don't go outside.”

You nodded again.

“You don't answer the door for anyone but me. Real important, okay?"

You put down the dish in your hand and turned around to face him fully. "Okay."

"Even if you think you know 'em. Don't know who could be infected." He swallowed regretfully.

You nodded in agreement, "Okay."

His hands on either side of your hips casually caged you against the sink. He gently pressed his hips, then his lips into yours.

“Back before sundown,” he muttered.

He put on a jacket, went down to the cellar, and returned with two firearms. He handed you a pistol, put on his jacket, and kissed you goodbye. He winked as he left, then locked the door behind him from the outside.

While Joel was out, you got curious and bored. You walked around the house. The first door you tried to open was locked. The second one led down to the cellar. You took a few steps down and tried to reach the light string that hung from the ceiling. it swung away. After another step down, the door behind you began to close. You panicked and lunged up the stairs to keep it open. That was stupid. You could have gotten locked in. You scurried up the stairs back into the living room. Once you caught your breath, you shut the door behind you and didn't go back.

Another door was a closet. Jackets, hats, boots. You saw an old Red Sox hat and your heart skipped a beat. Your first thought was Jesse. Your heart pounded in your chest and you weren’t sure why. It was probably yours. Joel must have scooped it up when you left it in the orchard. It could have faded from the elements. You had the strongest urge to touch and smell the hat, but you didn’t dare disturb it. Joel seemed like the type to know exactly how things were. You didn't want him to know you were snooping.

You didn’t try any more doors after that. You went back to the kitchen. You opened the pantry and there were two crates of jars, one of them locked. You looked around the opposite counter from where you had been doing the dishes. A basket of apples, a jar of apple seeds. A fresh branch in a vase of water with a budding blossom. You held up the vase and smelled the bud.

You were startled from the moment by a faint scraping and clinking sound outside. You fumbled the vase and almost dropped it but caught it. Your pulse sped up and your eyes darted to the window. You put the vase down and walked to the kitchen door which looked out into the backyard and orchard. You put your hand on the knob, then changed your mind, Joel’s cautionary words fresh in your ears. You stood at the window and looked. You didn’t see anything. You heard it again. It sounded like it was coming from the back of the orchard, which you couldn’t see. All you saw was dirt, grass, a fire pit, neat rows of tree after tree, dead leaves tumbling across the ground with the wind. Maybe it was the wind.

When you heard it again, you were unsettled enough to step away from the window. You went back up to the bedroom, figuring it was the safest place. You covered yourself in the quilt and hugged one of several pillows, waiting for Joel's return, hiding, praying no one was around. Hoping no one could possibly know you were there. Grateful you weren't home alone at a time like this. You kept the bedroom door open so you'd be able to see trouble if it came.

You dozed off and awoke when the back door to the kitchen unlocked downstairs. Your heart raced and it took a moment to remember where you were. It was almost dusk outside. You quietly slid out from under the quilt and prepared to cautiously venture downstairs, assuming it was Joel who just came in the house. A door closed downstairs, then the water heater turned on. You pulled the quilt back over you and turned off the light, waiting in the dark. After about ten minutes of lying there slowing your heart rate, the water turned off. A few minutes later, a door opened downstairs again. You wished you could fast forward to the next time you'd be in Joel's arms.

You felt a presence. "Joel?" It came out far quieter than you intended, but you were too afraid to repeat it louder. The stairs quietly creaked with padded footsteps. The creaking got closer and closer, then stopped. You sat frozen, looking at a looming shadow in the hall, trying to make sense of it as Joel’s silhouette. The shape looked jagged, angry, nothing like him.

“Peaches?” his voice made you jump; it was much closer than you thought. Your hand came to your chest as he stepped into view and asked, “You okay? Thought you might be nappin', didn't wanna wake ya up.'”

"I'm okay," you said and took a deep breath. "What's going on?"

Joel approached the bed and sat down with his hand on your knee. He was freshly showered and dressed in his own clothes again.

"I think Abe left, darlin'."

"Left?? Why??"

"I dunno, sugar. It was like he just packed up."

You were stunned. Abe couldn't possibly have packed up and left. This didn't explain anything at all. You'd have to see it to believe it.

"No. He wouldn't just leave," you said and got de ja vu. You were quiet. Nothing felt right. You spent the whole afternoon scared and alone, and now this?

"Sorry, peaches. Didn't know you were close."

"We weren't. I just - I'm surprised. He didn't say anything this week, did he?"

"Sure didn't."

"Just like Jesse,” you whispered.

Joel inhaled through his nose as though calming himself.

“I don't understand it," you said.

Joel was quiet for a moment. "People leave, darlin'. But I promise you I won't. Not ever."

You mustered half a grateful smile and indulged him. “Promise?”

"Never.” He looked gravely serious. “Not unless I take you with me,” he said softer.

“Thanks,” you said.

He shook his head. “I mean it, peaches. Nothin' in this world could take me away from you." He stroked your thigh and leaned in for a much-needed kiss.

Then he put his arm around you, rubbed your shoulder, and leaned his temple against yours. You sat side by side on the bed in silence for a minute, then Joel said, “been a rough day or two, huh?"

You nodded pensively.

"I know what we need."

"What?"

"How 'bout a special dinner?” he lifted your chin with his finger and your eyes met his affectionately. "There she is."

"Okay."

"Put on somethin' nice, I'll get cookin'."

“Oh, I didn’t bring much,” you said, embarrassed.

“Let's check the closet,” he said with a wink. "See what got left behind."

He kissed you on the head and stood up. It was a shallow closet that rolled open from two doors to expose a single rack of clothes. He rolled open the left door and there were five or six dresses. They didn't look like anything Ellie or Tess would wear and you didn't know who else could have left them behind. Whoever lived there before, you supposed.

Joel pulled out two coathangers. A floral wrap dress and a low cut burgundy sweater dress. "See what ya like," he said softly with a sparkle in his eye. "Take your time. I'll get cookin'." He winked and put the hangers back in the closet before leaving you to the task.

You stayed seated on the bed and stared into space for a while, thinking about Abe. Then you got up and put on the burgundy dress. It was a perfect fit. You stood in front of the vanity as the smell of fried rabbit wafted upstairs. You primped yourself and touched your neck, looking yourself in the eyes. You wanted to be happy, but your eyes were sad. You opened a dresser drawer looking for socks. Sure enough, there was a small drawer full of socks and stockings. Another drawer full of underwear, and even the same type of fabric washable pads you had to use for your period. You dreaded your period coming in a few days. That probably wasn't helping your mood.

Joel served a candlelit dinner at a card table in his living room. He said it was safer away from the windows at night. He wanted to give it another day or two to make sure the community was safe. He was walking to the table with a bottle of wine and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw you in the dress. He put down the bottle and said. "My lands, peaches." He wet his lips. "C'mere, gorgeous." He rubbed your forearms with his thumbs and looked you up and down. "You're so goddamn beautiful," he whispered.

"You look nice, too," you said. He chuckled. He wasn't wearing anything out of the ordinary but he always looked nice. He took your head in both hands and kissed you softly. Then he looked at you again, wrapped his arms around you, and kissed you harder with an "Mmm," into your mouth.

He pulled out your chair for you at the table. He poured your wine, served you salad with no cucumbers, rabbit, eggplant, and applesauce. The salad dressing was incredible. He made it himself. "secret's in the basil" he said proudly. "Gotta mash it up real good, let the flavor out. If ya like it, we got more to plant out back. Rosemary, too. Make us a little herb garden.” You smiled. The applesauce was amazing, too.

He got up and retrieved a stone bowl from the counter. "Fresh cinnamon sticks. I crush’em up dry first. Then add just a little apple to the cinnamon, mash it up so it’s all wet, then add that to the rest at the end." He tasted the cinnamon mixture with his finger. “Kinda spicy.” He dipped his pinky for more and held it up to your mouth. "Go on," he said. You held eye contact with him as your tongue met his pinky. The cinnamon was strong. Delicious. He took a deep breath as you sucked his digit clean. "Good girl," he whispered, watching you in a trance. He put the bowl back on the counter. “Use it for cobbler, too. We can make some if ya want.” You never knew Joel was such a good chef.

You ate quietly. You wanted to let Joel’s nice dinner take your mind off things, but it didn't. You didn't want to grill him about Abe's house or say anything negative at all since he put so much effort into the meal. He put so much effort into making you feel good in general. So you tried to pretend you were okay, but he sensed your mood.

After cleaning up from dinner, the two of you sat down on his sofa in the living room. He brought whiskey and a bag of pills and put them on the coffee table with two glasses. “Need a good night’s sleep,” he muttered as he sat down and poured a glass. “How ‘bout you?”

You didn’t say anything.

“What’s wrong, peaches?”

You were quiet, but he didn’t let you off the hook. He looked at you, expecting an answer. Finally, you blurted out, “I’m lonely.”

Joel looked confused. “We’re together now, baby."

The tears welled up over your eyes. “Not right this second. I mean in general.”

Joel swallowed, then nodded. “Must get lonely on your own. Why don’t you stay here with me?” He took a sip, put down his drink, and scooted closer. He rubbed your back.

You ignored his offer, frustrated that he didn't get it or didn’t care. “Everyone's gone,” you said and started to cry. “Everyone left.”

Joel’s face darkened and his jaw clenched. His body tensed and he stopped rubbing your back. He sank back into the sofa and clasped his hands in his lap. You turned around to face him, expecting more comfort, but he didn’t look at you or open his arms.

“Not sure what to say to that, peaches," he said flatly. He took another sip of his drink. "You mean the world to me, and it sounds like I’m nobody to you.”

“Of course not,” you said. Your heart dropped at your foolishness. Here was the one person you had left. The best person who could possibly be left. Someone who would take care of you no matter what it took. Someone who cared more about you than anything or anyone else. And instead of being grateful, you acted like he was nothing.

Joel nodded slowly, looking down with a scowl. He swallowed.

You said, "I just miss them, that's all."

His eyes intensified and he took a deep, calming breath.

“Bill and Frank, I mean,” you clarified, desperate not to make it worse.

"I know ya do," he said in a near whisper, still looking down.

You continued, your tears slowing but not stopping. "It doesn't feel right here with everyone gone."

“Doesn’t feel right here,” he repeated. He raised his eyebrows and bit his tongue, sticking it into his cheek.

You looked away, sensing that you hurt him but unsure what to do. You sat in silence for what felt like several minutes, both of you looking straight ahead. Your back felt so cold without him comforting you.

When you looked back at Joel, his eyes were glistening. “You're enough for me, peaches.” His voice cracked. “You’re all I need in the world.” He dabbed his eye and your heart broke. "Nothin' feels more right than bein' with you. I love you that much.”

No one ever made you feel that way before, like you were their entire world. His affection overwhelmed you. It felt like he cared as much about you as Bill and Frank, just in a different way.

"I love you too, Joel." You squeezed his thigh reassuringly.

“No, darlin'. I’m in love with you. I don’t care about anything else.”

You turned toward him and tried to meet his eyes. “I’m in love with you, too.”

He finally stroked your back. “You might think so, darlin’.” He sighed. “And I ‘preciate you sayin’ it. . . But when you say, ‘it doesn’t feel right here’. . .” He dabbed his eye again. “I gotta wonder.”

“I do, Joel.”

“I dunno if you understand love, darlin’. Or you wouldn’t say that. And you wouldn’t feel lonely.”

You were overwhelmed and confused. It didn’t make sense to you. “I wouldn’t miss my parents?”

“Course you’d miss’em,” he conceded. “But you wouldn’t feel lonely.”

“Guess that’s what I meant,” you said. He nodded and his face warmed slightly. "Plus, I'm worried about Frank," you said and started crying again. Something was tugging at your gut. You felt worse, not better.

Joel started to say something, but didn't. He rubbed your back. “I know, darlin’. He poured you a glass of whiskey and composed himself. “They’d be proud of ya, how you’re doin’.”

You laughed through your tears. “Sorry,” you sniffled. “I didn’t mean I was lonely. I’m not.”

“Okay, darlin’,” he whispered

You couldn’t tell if he really forgave you. Your whole face felt tense.

Joel looked at you and a look of deep concern washed across his face, realizing how bad he made you feel. “Hey, hey. . . . c’mere. . . “ He rubbed your back. You scooted closer and hugged him from the side. He brought your far leg into his lap so you were twisted over him. “Shhhh,” he said and kissed your forehead, but something was still off about him. “It’s okay, baby.” He softened but still felt more distant than usual, like he wasn’t sure he could believe you. The distance made you panic.

“I love you, I really do,” you said.

He drank the rest of his whiskey and bent forward to put the glass down, then stretched his arm out on top of the sofa. You tucked one leg under yourself and rested the other leg over his lap. He draped his hand on your knee, but didn’t make a move to pull you closer. You climbed into his lap, suddenly more concerned about his feelings than anything else.

You wanted to be closer to him, as close as possible. You wanted him wrapped around you, inside you. You wanted to be a part of him and for him to be a part of you. You kissed him on the cheek. He smiled but didn’t look at you, not really. He looked at your eyes but it felt like he was looking past them. “Joel,” you whined, eyes welling up at the lack of validation. You cupped his face in both your hands and kissed him. His lips pressed softly into yours. You looked back and forth between his eyes, trying to connect enough to show him how much you meant it.

“I wanna be with you,” you whispered. “I don’t care about anything else.”

Something behind his eyes flickered on. “You mean that, peaches? You don’t care about anything else?”

You nodded and pressed your lips into his again.

He asked, “You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

His hands embraced your back and the affection returned to his eyes full-force like it was in the morning. He wet his lips.

“Good,” he whispered. “It’s you and me, darlin’. We only got each other.”

You nodded.

He looked from your eyes to your mouth and back, closed his eyes, cradled the back of your head, and kissed you deeply. He held you and kissed you, the taste of whiskey fading after a few seconds as your mouths combined. He pulled you closer into his lap and his jeans hardened against your dress and panties, making your core tingle. He moaned into your mouth and your panties moistened rapidly. His cock was big, and feeling it get so hard just for you made you feel special. Earlier, when you said you wanted him inside you, he said you were still being shy with him. He said you hadn’t even touched it yet, that you weren’t giving him everything.

You wanted to show him you could give him everything. His big hands pulled you close and his hips lifted your body as he licked into your mouth. His hard cock pressed perfectly against your clit as his hips moved. You reached down and unbuttoned his jeans, then tugged his shirt up and he let you untuck it. He was truly in the moment. He was yours. You gently grabbed at the bulge in his jeans – it was more than a handful – and he thrust into your palm with a sigh.

You broke the kiss to unzip his jeans, and he watched you like it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. You slid your hand into his pants and softly gasped as you felt the stiff outline of his cock through his boxers. His hips lifted into your hand with a soft grunt and he said, “Givin’ me everything, aren’t ya baby?”

You nodded earnestly. He slid his hand between your legs, ghosting your clit over your panties, making you moan.

“Wanna make you feel good,” you whispered, groping his hard cock and feeling a wet spot at the tip.

“Always feel good when I'm with you, darlin’.”

“Want it in my mouth,” you said.

He inhaled sharply. “Fuck, darlin’.” His eyes widened. “That what you want?”

“Yeah,” you nodded and got down on the carpet.

You got out of the way while he took his jeans off for you.

He spread his knees again and pulled the waistband of his boxers down below his balls. He wrapped his fingers around the shaft with his thumb at the tip. Butterflies swarmed between your legs at the sight of his strong hand holding his cock at attention for you. You nestled yourself between his legs.

“You sure?” he asked and looked you over.

You wet your lips and nodded without taking your eyes off his imposing cock.

“Alright, darlin’.” He looked at you with pride and curiosity.

You held his cock at the base and opened your mouth, hovering over the tip.

“Just a little kiss,” he murmured.

You pressed your lips against the tip and kissed it, sucking the salty precum into your mouth.

“Good girl,” he sighed. “Now a little at a time.”

You wrapped your lips around the tip and licked it, looking up at his face for approval. The look on his face made you wet. Joel sighed and tried not to lift his hips. “Good. Doin’ great, baby.”

You sucked a little more of him into your mouth. He was so big, the head alone seemed to stretch your jaw.

“Good, baby. Nice and slow, not too much.” His velvety tip grazed the roof of your mouth. You throbbed between the legs, wishing so badly to have him there instead. But you had to show him you could give him everything.

You braced the shaft at the base and the humidity of his salt and pepper hair made you throb more. You sucked and tongued his shaft and looked up at him for approval.

“Good girl,” he nodded. His validation made you slurp more of him into your mouth, a little too much, and you started gagging.

“Easy, darlin’, hold on,” he chuckled. “Take a breather,” he said.

You were a little embarrassed. “I wanna do it,” you whispered.

“Okay,” he smiled. “How ‘bout you lick it, get it real wet for us.”

You salivated at the sight of his cock in his hand and licked him from base to tip three times - once on the underside, and once from each side.

“Now use your hand, darlin’.” You hesitantly wrapped your fingers and thumb around his shaft and he swelled into your hand. His cock dwarfed your fingers, making you wetter. You were salivating.

You asked, “Are you sure you don’t want my mouth?”

“Darlin’, I love your hands.”

He covered your hand with his and stroked himself with it.

His hips thrust into your hand and it was so easy to imagine yourself impaled on his cock, it was all you could think about.

“Give it another kiss, baby.”

You brought the tip into your mouth again, then licked his cock from base to tip and sucked the head again, curiously tonguing the salty slit. You left as much saliva as you could.

“Good girl,” he murmured and took your hand in his again.

You ached to have him inside you. You wet your lips thirstily.

He watched your face as his breath grew heavier. “Whatcha thinkin’ bout, peaches?”

You had a feeling he knew. You looked down at his cock then back up at him, then away.

“Don’t be shy, baby.”

You looked up and made eye contact. “Putting our bodies together,” you said breathily and watched his face melt into a puddle of want.

He inhaled through his nose, then murmured, “Want that real bad, don’t ya?”

You nodded.

“Why’s that, darlin’?” His lips glistened and his eyes were half-lidded.

“Wanna feel you inside me.”

He breathed heavier as your hands slid up and down on his shaft. He asked, “How ya think it’s gonna feel?”

“I’m gonna be full of you. Attached to you.”

“Yeah, you will,” he nodded. His grip tightened around your hand as he stroked himself. “You’ll be so full of me, baby. ..”

“I really wanna be,” you whispered. You wanted it so bad you could cry. “I need to be.”

“You will be, baby,” he said soothingly. “You want your mouth filled up now?”

“Yeah,” you hovered your mouth near his cock again.

“Go ‘head, baby. Take it, it’s yours.” He took his hand away and put it gently on the back of your head.

You sucked the tip of his cock into your mouth again and made eye contact as you sucked.

He groaned and his thumb stroked the nape of your neck, then he lifted his hips and erupted in your mouth. His warm, salty spend hit the roof of your mouth, then the tip slid back along your palate, and he pulsed again. More cum hit the back of your throat. Your eyes watered and you swallowed.

“You did so good, baby.”

He tucked his cock into his boxers and spooned you on the sofa.

“Why’s it feel so good, doing that?” you asked.

“Doin’ what?”

“Just having it in my mouth.”

“S’posed to, baby. Your body’s gettin’ ready for mine.” His words sent a pang of desire between your legs. “Turns you on, right?” He reached under your dress and stroked your panties from the outside. He felt the dampness and murmured, “Guess it does.”

“A lot,” you said. He began stroking your clit rhythmically over the cotton. Your hips started to move on their own in his hand. You moaned softly.

He slid his hand into the front of your panties and thumbed your soft curls. “It’s ‘cause your special parts think I’m fixin’ to put mine right here.” He dipped his middle finger into the pool of wetness hanging at your entrance.

“I wish you would,” you sighed.

He groaned softly at those words, the blood already flowing back to his loins. “You really do, huh?” His voice was low and soft. “You really wanna be full of me.” He wet his fingers with your slick and began gently circling your clit. “Attached to me.”

“Yeah,” you said. “More than anything.”

“Love hearin’ that, peaches.” He held you tighter.

“I wanna give you everything,” you said.

“Gotta be ready, darlin’,” he said into the crown of your head.

“I’m ready.”

“Your body too, angel.” You could hear the smile in his voice.

“My body wants yours so bad,” you whined.

“Wantin’ it’s not enough, baby.”

You groaned in frustration.

“Well. . . you tell me, darlin’. You’ve had it in your mouth now. Think it’ll fit in this sweet little hole?” he swirled his finger around.

“I dunno,” you sighed. Your body didn’t care, it wanted whatever he would give you. “I’m sorry,” you muttered.

“For what?”

“Not having my body ready.”

“Oh peaches, I’m glad you’re not. It’ll be a privilege gettin’ you there.” He gently circled your clit.

“Really?”

“Of course, darlin’,” he said softly. “Sometimes they bloom late for a reason.” He dipped his finger into your wetness again. “And this one’s just for me, ain’t it?”

“Yeah,” you whispered.

“We’ll get there, baby. We’ll get there in time.”

“Okay,” you sighed.

“Let’s see how much you can handle,” he said. “See what it’ll take to get there.”

“Yeah,” you said. “Please.” You lifted your thigh to make more room for his hand.

He slowly slid half his middle finger into your tight, wet heat. You moaned at his first intrusion.

He sucked air in through his teeth. “How’s that feel, baby?”

“I want more.”

He took a deep breath and pushed his finger all the way in.

You whimpered, “yeah,” as your body adjusted.

“God damn,” he whispered as your cunt hugged his digit.

He curled his finger just slightly and you moaned again. “It’s so thick,” you said.

“See? Got a long way to go.” His cock twitched against your ass.

“No, it feels good,” you said as he slowly moved his finger inside you. “I want more.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” you answered impatiently.

“Just one more.” You squinted in frustration. Why just one more?

He took his middle finger out and flattened it alongside his ring finger. He slid them up and down your slippery seam before slowly plunging them inside together. It was a tight squeeze. “God damn,” he breathed. He paused half-way in.

“Feels so good,” you panted. “Keep going,” you begged.

“Don’t wanna hurt ya.”

“Doesn’t hurt at all.”

He slowly sank his two fingers into you completely. “Real snug,” he muttered. “You sure it doesn’t hurt?”

“Too snug? Is that bad?”

“No, no, not at all, baby. But it’s gonna take time to be ready.” He began to move the heel of his palm against your clit and you grinded back against it.

“God, Joel,” you sighed.

“Gonna take time,” he repeated. “‘fore you’re ready for this,” he said with a thrust of his hips, grinding himself into your ass, already fully erect again. He thrust against you again with a soft grunt.

You asked “You want it too, don’t you?”

“Course I do, baby,” he panted. “Gotta feel good for both of us, though. Gotta do it right.” He kissed your head and curled his fingers inside you, digging the meat of his hand against your clit again. “Gotta be real special.”

Your clit twitched against his hand and he said, “C’mon, baby,” moving his hand at a slow rhythm. “Every time you come, gets us closer to what we want.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, sugar.” He breathed heavily with his body enveloping yours, pumping his fingers deep in your cunt, pressing his palm against your clit.

You let your hips grind back unrestrained.

“There ya go, darlin’,” he said, pressing his hard cock against you as he moved his fingers. “Yeah, just like that.”

You closed your eyes and pretended his fingers were his cock. You knew his cock would feel even better.

“Can’t wait to be inside ya, baby,” he whispered. “Nothin’ I want more.” He slowly pumped his fingers deeper into you as your body opened up for him. “Wanna slide into this tight little hole,” he panted, his cock rutting gently against your ass. “Want you wrapped around me.” He rubbed his palm against your front. “Yeah. . .wrapped so tight around me, baby. Like ya can’t pull us apart” Your hips grinded into his hand with your climax in sight. “Gonna have you so full of me,” he breathed, then he moaned with a harder thrust against you. “Joined together,” he added. “Forever, baby. It’s forever,” he whispered in your ear. “Me and you.” You whined on the edge of your climax. “C’mon, baby,” he whispered, pumping his fingers, rocking his palm, grinding against your ass.

He thrust against your ass with a grunt, and his grunt in your ear was enough for you to see stars. “Joel,” you whined.

“Yeah,” he said as your climax seized you. You whimpered as you came. “Yeah, I got ya, baby,” he whispered. “Good girl.” He kissed your head.

He held you and caressed you as you bathed in the afterglow. It gave you clarity on how wrong you were earlier. You felt the things he felt. You realized how hurt you would have been if he said the same things – That he was lonely, that it didn’t feel right there.

“I’m not lonely,” you whispered. “And of course it feels right, bein’ with you.”

“Okay, baby.” He kissed your head.

“Guess I meant the town didn’t feel. . .” You meant the town. Your stomach dropped as you realized it.

The town. If Abe was really gone, you and Joel were the only two people left in Lincoln. Joel was the town. You couldn’t put your finger on why, but you felt like you might be sick.

“I know, darlin’,” he said obliviously. “But in a way, it’s nice we have this time together.” His arms tightened around you. “Silver lining. Right?” He sighed. “We’re together, don’t care about nothin’ else.”

“Right,” you whispered and tried not to think about it. You shivered and Joel rubbed your arms. “It’s chilly down here. Let’s get you tucked into bed.”

Joel showed you the restroom and your toiletries and towels. He offered you a painkiller to help you sleep. You didn’t want to take it, but he left it on the nightstand with a glass of whiskey in case you needed it. “Know it’s weird, sleepin’ somewhere new,” he said. He took a nightgown out of the dresser for you. He kissed you good night, then shut your door behind him.

You woke up in the middle of the night when you heard something metal clang then rumble outside. You felt safer with Joel in the house, but you wanted his arms around you. Maybe he’d let you climb in his bed. Surely he wouldn’t turn you away. He was being a gentleman, offering you a bed of your own. You opened your bedroom door as quietly as possible and gathered the courage to go downstairs.

Downstairs, you pushed his bedroom door open. “Joel?” you whispered. He didn’t answer. “Joel?” There was a flickering glow outside his window, which made it harder to see the inside of the room until your eyes adjusted.

He wasn’t in bed. Not the bathroom, either. You sat down on his bed and smoothed your hand over his pillow. You dipped your nose into the cotton and inhaled his scent, closing your eyes. It gave you a rush of comfort. A metal clang jolted you back to the moment and the flickering light brightened for a moment. Your heart raced. You carefully peeked out the window and faintly saw what looked to be the silhouette of Joel standing over a burning barrel. You felt like you should go back upstairs, as much as you wanted to curl up in his bed, inhaling his scent.

Your heart was beating too fast to get back to sleep, and you didn’t know why. You paced around the room and looked out the window. You sat at the vanity. You looked in the drawers. You were waiting to hear the door open downstairs. Then you could pretend to come down for the first time. Joel would comfort you, kiss you, cuddle you to sleep. But the door didn’t open downstairs. You paced more and sat on the bed. You opened the closet and looked at the dresses again. You held one up in the mirror.

You opened the other closet door and something caught your eye. In the back, on the very last hanger, there was a dress that made your breath hitch. White with lace sleeves. The longer you looked at it, the more butterflies gathered in your chest. Maybe your eyes betrayed you. It was too dark to tell. You closed the closet, took the painkiller, and got back in bed. You listened out for the door and tried to conjure the feeling of Joel’s arms around you. That was all you wanted.

Thank you so much for reading and engaging! Thank you for your patience, too. I love you guys!!!

I'm not sure if there will be one more part or two; I have to see how it writes. I feel like probably two, but it could be one long one with a little bit of a time jump.

All Joel: @ethanhoewke @silkiers @eiviea @evyiione @xdaddysprincessxx @queerly-anxious @chernayawidow @ambassadortotrilliusprime @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @jasminespringtime @romanarose @fandomsfallnomore @djarinxore @lokanda @blackvelveteen1339 @manazo @wolvesandvampires @taeslarityy @str84pedro @kyloispunk @filthfairy @fieryglutenfreechickennoodles @harriedandharassed @moonlightdivine @worhols @fan-fiction-floozy @cutesyscreenname @weddingfairy @pedropascal-whore @spideysimpossiblegirl @feministfanboi @gracieispunk @prettypartyfavor

Lincoln: @fan-fiction-floozy @ivyblxnde @lhymer1995 @sugarspiceanthrax @isimpforfictionalmen @zynbsblogg @swedishscumfuck @sadgirlstoohightocare @steveharringtonswh0re @skythighs @aoziety @leeeesahhh @jupitersmoon-cal @peekymoon @dtfawn

(ct'd in comments or reblogs)

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kinaisalwayshere · 1 month ago

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What about me?

I'm here to talk about wanting to be put first. I know this may sound selfish, but sometimes speaking of your truths is good. All my life in any friendship or relationship I've been put second, or no one helped me in any situation. I have always looked out for people out of the kindness of my heart, I sat and listened to people's problems and encouraged them in tough times, picked up my phone in a hurry whenever someone called, or even checked up on people. But when it comes to me no one cares to help me, listen to me, or put me down.

Right now I'm tired of people... I don't want anyone using me for their own benefit and then acting like they can't help me. People will leave me for another friend, and won't return my texts or calls. People don't listen to me or even cut me off while talking... I've always been shy yes that's true but when I decide to open up no one respects me. i will be 31 November 14 and I will still have no friends or a significant other because I know I will never be put first. I will never be heard, I will never be worried about or thought of by people.

I stay to myself to make myself happy or at least try. I say I enjoy my time alone but in reality, I hate being alone. I love my family to the moon and back but sometimes I want a friend to share a laugh with, to have deep conversations, and connect on a deeper level. But I already know people are just going to use me for the time being because no one else is listening or talking to them. When you have a good heart people really use it and throw it in the trash after use.

Sometimes I wish I was heartless... I wish I didn't care about some people. I wish I was like others... Use people's minds and hearts and throw everything away like it is waste. But I will never ever stoop down to that level because I can't imagine being just like them... I could never use someone for my own benefit. If I see that you can sit and listen to me, give me advice, convince me to do greater things... you gotta be my friend for life lol.

I never used tumblr before but tonight I decided to post this because I wanted to share something I'm tired of feeling. I'm in school four days a week, and then I work at night at the post office. And this week I felt like I was going to explode and give up on everything because I was feeling stressed. I wanted to talk to someone just to vent... and I couldn't do that cuz I knew no one would listen.

Please be there for your friends or loved ones. Don't use them just for advice and then go weeks without talking to them... ask them if they are okay. Ask them how they are feeling and what new journeys or adventures they are doing. Just be there.

#bethereforthem

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kel-lance · 7 months ago

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JJK Mafia Au (JJK x Reader) PART 2

Part 1

Warnings:- TW: Dead dove dont read (DDDR) Minors do not interact (MDNI): SA, Physical Assault, DubCon, NonCon, Mindbreak, Public Humiliation, Breeding, Ownership, Gaslighting, Multiple manipulation, RWORD, PTSD, a lot more toxic sh.

Premise: Reader lives in a city where the two biggest gangs keep things line until the third gang showed up. That had nothing to do with you though, until dumb luck just happened to favor you one day. Basically You’re picked up and used by every dangerous criminal within the clans due to some alliances they had to create due to some members messing up the previous alliances. ((Almost everyone’s gonna have a turn 🤗)) ( i have 11 more chapters planned out right now meaning after i write those ill still be writing more.)

“We’re done for today.” The large man reaches for his robes. You don’t bother to move. Just breathing hurt. It was his off day and he was deciding to break you in, deciding to keep you for however long you were durable. He was amused with your reactions. He liked it. He found it interesting how you were also trying to survive. He’d play along as your god now.

You lay in the bed and his finger prints stained your skin, each strike created blots of purple and blue and green. You liked bruises before, it showed how you fought for it.

You apparently woke up two days later, and he lets you rest. Your body finally turns off survival mode for a second, just a second to adjust to the warm room. Four walls, the nice smell, it was just another thing you weren’t used to. Stillness. It was boring. But under these circumstances you were glad to have your own padded room to deal with this.

The time you were left alone, you didn’t know how long that would be. Another hour or so you’d think he’d come back in, hearing as you’re up. Time for more torture, though do torture victims get a bed and tended to? It felt more like you were a sacrifice, meant to appease him, though no one handed you over.

You were brushed, scrubbed raw, and even felt a bit of shame for the way you were living compared to the two ladies who were taking care of you. But you didn’t know how long they’ve been in this line of work. Hell they honestly looked like they were born into it with the cold looks in their eyes. They could care less about your well-being, though they found and scrubbed every inch of you. Of course you didn’t want strangers to look at you, especially after such a moment that brought you here. To be real, these twins are probably the only people who knew you more than anyone you currently knew.

Friends? You had a few, some to help you out sometimes, some to let you crash at their place. It was all fair game to the people you knew. Life was never easy for them and they knew of you being a free spirit. You didn’t leech off of them for you’d always show up with something in exchange, usually something you stole but it would never get traced back, it was either too common (but useful) or just something that would never be brought out of shown off.

You weren’t a bad friend for it, if anything you were the perfect guest, though this time you didn’t mean to give yourself away for a few nights stay.

“I gotta get out of here, but where would I go? These people have already seen my face and I can’t tell how many more there would be. I can’t request anything to learn the layout of this place and no one will talk to me. If I leave I’ll have to run further and faster than I already have been…” You ponder more, sitting at the table placed in front of the window.

They’re smart enough to know what I’d do if I wanted to pick a fight with their lord, of course there are guards at more doors, even under the window out your room, and it’s safe to say that there’s even a guard at each vent that’s connected to your room.

“Why does it seem like I’m so special?” You sit and open the window, the guard below moves from his post to observe you on the same side has the other posted to view you. You look down at then and offer a wave, saying you’re not doing anything stupid, but you just wanted some air. One of them leaves, probably to get Sukuna.

“I bet he’s just a lonely loser and I just happen to fall into his lap, or maybe I was one of many and was the newest. The girls here looked like they could be in the same position as you, though why weren’t they? They didn’t look like they were his blood, and there was no way that he could be their dad. That would make things even worse since you’re close in age as the twins.

You see the guard go back to his post, nonchalantly. “Weirdo.” You thought. Not even a second later your room door whips open. Jumping from your place at the table, you turn and see who other than the man with the unpredictable entrances. “Finally up?” He leans on the door frame. “Honestly, you’re so dramatic for that.” He teased, being strangely familiar to you.

“Dude…” You caught yourself about to tell off this stranger. All you’ve known from him is that he’s having fun taking you and making you a toy, that his name was Sukuna and how everyone seemed under his control. Not that they enjoy it, but it didn’t look like anyone, even in their numbers, would stand up to someone like him.

It still wasn’t apparent for you. He only told you his first name, his last could tell you that you were in even more danger than any “normal” man doing this to you. It could be such a metaphor but you’re literally trapped in the best place you’ve ever been. Was that just life? all the bad comes up when you’re supposed to be happy, and realizing how good you’ve had it as it gets ripped apart in front of you? The balance of it all only comes with ignorance, which was also why you wouldn’t get attached. You didn’t run to one person for everything you didn’t need more than what you’d ask for and that wasn’t much. If they were lucky you’d be there for 3 days at most.

You lost your voice, his presence set in, bringing you out of your (if you can all it that) relaxed state. He notices you tense up, the look in your eyes begging him to give your body a break. He huffs and saunters into the room, taking a seat at the end of the bed, the side that’s facing you. “You had some time to clear your head, now tell me what was your intention. Playing dumb suits that pretty face of yours… But that’s not why I’m here.”

You sure knew nothing about this guy. Other than his name and how his body looked. How he felt was different, it just happened so fast that you could only remember how it lingered in your belly after he left you the second time. It wasn’t something you can forget, those were the best orgasms of your life. “Sukuna… I’m serious.”

“You expect me to believe that? Did I hit you too hard?” You almost wanted to laugh, you saw stars and colors you couldn’t before his knuckles contacted your skull. Lifting his hand from his side to place under his chin made you flinch, a bit too hard for his liking apparently. It took a lot for you to muster standing up on your own, much less realize you had to get to the table by needing support from the wall. It was like you were in an ice skating rink and had to hold onto the walls for dear life, except there was no ice, it was just pain in your body not letting you level yourself out.

“When you’re ready to talk, I might hear you out. My patience is thin you already know.” He stands and closes your door, sent a shiver down your spine. Him not being close to you, or hurting you, having this quick visit was so unsettling.

It haunted you for hours. He didn’t touch you. The edge of the bed where he sat still held an energy, like he left a part of him right there to keep watch over you.

He definitely hit you too hard, you were thinking more outlandish things to go with this scenario. Like why didn’t the touch you? You thought he was going to keep a pattern, that maybe after this he would come in periodically to taunt you. That maybe his patience has worn out and he was going to get rid of you any minute now, or to use you again.

The trauma you got from this certainly messed with your self soothing methods. Every time you catch yourself hitting your peak of your self imposed orgasms, you were almost wishing you had more than just your fingers. You didn’t want him, but seriously its already been 2 weeks. You were gonna go crazy in here. The girls kept bringing you your meals, and a bathroom is attached, though you couldn’t do much by yourself.

You were to let the others feed and bathe you, and you honestly hated it. It was way too weird, you never talked to them, and they never tried with you so it felt like there was an agreement to just not speak about it. That none of you were here willingly. That gave you some insight. Your body healed itself enough that you didn’t need the wall to walk anymore, making your trips to the table in front of the window more frequent.

You notice some sort of schedule Sukuna follows, as well as a few other noticeable men in this kind of gated community. Whatever he has gong on here, it felt like you were almost a stolen princess locked away in a tower or something. “You have GOT TO get a hold of yourself.” You didn’t need to see a doctor or someone, you were fully aware that these thoughts were just you daydreaming to escape reality, yet again. Though this time it was getting boring, you couldn’t help yourself, literally.

At this point you wanted to even ask one of the guards if they wanted to come in and help you out, but you didn’t have to do that, because a day later you decided to act. Rolling around night time, you decided to open your window a noticeable amount. By then the guards usually leave one guard to patrol the grounds in each quarter.

The ones outside your door either end up sleeping or one leaves the other for a bathroom break, some nights they both go, probably to blow each other you thought. It wasn’t any of your concern, they did it before when you could barely move, but now you were agile again, enough to move around without hissing at each moment.

Placing your ear to the door, you heard light snoring through it. “Okay, just find his room you thought. You knew that it took about 60 steps to reach a stair case, then that would be about 24 steps down. You could hear his footsteps through the pairs of others who followed him, as his echoed with pace, and the others almost scuttled behind them like bugs..

You find your way slipping past heavy wooden doors, making sure it wouldn’t creak, you saw the walkway in the garden. You looked up and saw your room, you knew it was yours as it was the only one with the window open. you knew that the guard just left this fourth of his grounds. You were searching the area for his room. Peering through the windows, it would have been hard to tell if it was him, but his tattoos were honestly unique.

None of them were him, you go back to the walkway, going down the opposite end, just blindly working your way through. You couldn’t just walk through any door, it could be your last mistake, it being Sukuna or not. But it just had to be him, you wanted so badly to find his familiar face and just, you don’t know.

You decide to be more ballsy, there’s surely no way he’s be in the same quarters that has this many people,” you decide to take your chance with the left corridor. “I wouldn’t take him for a cuddly guy anyway.”

Listen, you know it sounds crazy, but if you even got to escape, you’d be hunted like a fox, unnecessarily, and as a spectacle for others to watch. But if you could find him, and do it yourself, “I mean, at least I’d die with something, and what a funny way to go.” You loved to joke about these kinds of things. Anytime it seemed dark, you’d find yourself cracking a joke or going off an other tangents from the barrage of thoughts coming your way.

You hold your breath as you set your fingers around the doorknob, you pull it back slowly, and turn it, to silence any squeaks it may have. After turning it fully, you let it go back and unclenched your fingers to let it go a second time, making sure there was no noise from the metal trap, and decided to go in.

What fucking luck you had as if you broke into another room you’d think your breathing would start to give you away. As you head towards the bed, the raising figure laying there was him. Your eyes had adjusted to the dark, so much so that you could just stand in front of him.

Looking down at him you wondered what you should do. You’re not going to kill him, that’s one thing, though you had nothing to lose, you still liked your life and you enjoyed whatever adventurous you got yourself into. It was always just one thing after the next and you’d rest when needed, but you loved it.

This was totally different though. Before it was like you were born into this work and have to abide by its rules. As of right now you could do /anything/. What else would you do?

You look down at him, kneeling at the edge of the bed to face him. Looking at his face like this, completely defenseless, his harsh eyes weren’t poking at you or telling you exactly what he was thinking. No he was just, he looked human. Like if you were to have met him at any other place it would possibly be on a magazine cover or an army recruitment booth posted wherever.

“Damn bastard is beautiful.” You thought. “I didn’t get this far to stop now. Fucking 2 weeks you keep me here and don’t do anything? Do you know how boring that is? You can’t just keep me here and forget.” All that time alone had gone to your head, did you forget how he treated you the time you met?

Tbh it fades in and out, your memory’s cut up pieces of film that randomly plays an old memory, and since you can’t recognize it, you call it a dream.

Nothing could take you away from where you were now. Looking over him, still not a care in the world. Nothing could wake him if he’d allow it. You cocked your head to align your eyes with his, and reach out and brush your fingertips across his jawline.

How much of this could you enjoy before he kills you for breaking out? Just that thought had you slowly leaning in, your hand before tracing his face was leaning onto the bed to support your intrusion.

First, you kissed his forehead. The poor fuck probably hadn’t felt the touch of a real lover in ages, he just finds and uses whatever and whoever he wants, whenever. Of course you didn’t pity him, but does he even know what being loved properly was like? You’re really one to be asking.

You peck the smooth, hot skin, and kissed a line across his cheek, getting more sensual with the next. His touch, even sleeping was still so manly. His body was so, honestly the words seem odd, but he looked so edible. Like you almost couldn’t keep your lips off of him. He was so yummy when you get a good look at him.

Cupping his face, your lips reach his, beginning to lightly stimulate the connection. You lean in further, applying yourself onto him, guiding open his mouth with yours as you lick his lips. This shit was getting you so excited, considering all that he’s done to you, having this moment, where you’re in control and he was at your mercy, and only you know this.

Continuing to make out with your kidnapper, you moved yourself to get on top of him. His lazy reaction of kissing back had you think he was a deep sleeper, god you really wished.

You opened your eyes just to make sure he was still asleep, but his eyes were staring back at you, with the same look he always has. You didn’t have time to even make a sound before he had you under him. His hand grabbed your waist and turned kept you parallel to him as his leg pushed his body to get on top.

You could feel his erection, he was basically stabbing your thighs with his head. His hands pushed your wrists into opposite sides of your head, and he has you immobilized as he sat on your legs. Most you could move was your toes and neck, but he had pressed his face up against yours.

“I don’t even know where to start with you. If you wanted to kill me, you would’ve already. Maybe I can believe you’re just some random, …but you wouldn’t have come to my room.” He lets a wrist go to reel back and strikes your face as a warning. Seriously, no sane person would just come straight back to him in your situation.

“The guard fell asleep?” Nothing gets by him. You can’t tell if he was just prepared for everything or if he planned this out. The excitement you were feeling before was being clashed with the sudden shock to your face. “Depending how the rest of the night will go will determine his punishment.”

Keeping everything in place, he moves your chin up by his nose, giving him space to start attacking your neck. “We’ll just start with yours.” His grasp tightened around each wrist, so much so that he was pulling on the tendons in your forearms, making your fingers involuntary curl.

Your luck may have run out, but you weren’t as scared. Trying to enjoy the moment as much as possible, knowing fully well that you’re about to be eaten alive, and god, youve been waiting. His teeth grazed your collar bone, making their way back up, making themselves a known threat to your neck.

“Speak.” He orders. “Who sent you?”

“You still think I’m a spy?” The spot where he hit you was pounding, but it didn’t hurt. Other parts of your body were just pulsating along with your heartbeat, you knew he was going to take that as a sign of fear.

“Hurry up, we have a meeting tomorrow so I’m trying to be considerate for everyone else.”

He’s still not listening. You weren’t either at this point, finding his roughing up sort of endearing. Maybe he didn’t want to get blood on his bed, or maybe he did care about that stupid meeting. All you could feel was vigorous pulsating from your wrists, your face, your heart, and more than anything else, your pussy.

This was literally what you came here to do, this was why he even took you with him wasn’t it? Seriously whatever big shot he thinks he is… this shit wasn’t legal; You were serious on going out with a bang, raising your hips to create some friction on his hard on.

Sukuna seemed to notice the look in your eyes and gave you another firm slap. “Focus, doll.” He adjusts his hips a few inches too far down your liking, his hands being the only thing touching you.

“Put it back.” You got this far, now he wants to start questioning you immediately after waking up? He picked you up after meeting and ignored you for two weeks, you’re about to do what most others would. Especially if they’re in the same situation with the same circumstances.

“You’re not the one to be giving orders, much less to me.”

You raise your hips back up to his head, having it dip into you, crossing your clit but unable to enter fully. His tip could find its way in no problem, it was just his call, and that almost drove him over the edge. You’ve stopped fighting back, for something like your freedom and what’s better for you.

What you were after now was just one more orgasm brought by that monstrous mf. He doesn’t drop his guard, or change his face at all as he accepted “your bait/distraction”. In this position, you’re still straight legged, laying in his bed as he has you held down, arms pinned, palms up, and legs trapped as he sat on your thighs.

He could easily kill you now, but it would honestly leave a bad taste as no one’s been killed in his room before, much less even entered without permission. You both didn’t know what to think really.

To you he’s some strange and strong asshole who’s been unclear if you were his sex toy or if you were “invited” and he was just being a terrible host. Honestly, it felt worse to you to have everything you needed; Without your freedom, you were honestly thinking it’d be better to be dead.

To him, you were dangerous. You got it all right. From the room, to the person to bump into, to the alley. You could have been a spy laying low, from whichever gang he thought you were from, he thought it would be good to hold you off to send a message to see who would come collect you first. They wouldn’t send someone if they didn’t have something to say.

At first he did just want to keep you until one of them sent them back another message. It didn’t matter what happened to you, honestly he got bored. He’s a busy man, there was really nothing else to say.

So imagine his surprise how you came crawling all over him tonight. He knew an assassin would’ve done it before he even knew the door opened, they were to make sure it was quick. The attack would have had to been fatal, whether they succeed in one shot or have them die as they’re leaving. And how quick they leave is how desperately they want to live.

You, just came in to stare at him and decided you wanted something else. And it didn’t seem like revenge. That was a first, especially for him. Right now he was allowing it, letting you go. There was no way you could harm him, he concluded.

Looking down at you squirm and pout, upset on how close you were to getting what you’ve been aching from and for. He won’t drop his guard, but he sure as hell was silver platter served. Really how badly did you want it?

He connects your wrists at the top of your head with one hand, the other has its index finger and thumb at the base, controlling himself with those two fingers. He raises his erection and knocked it against your clit, the strikes sent waves of pleasure from your core to the top of your head and palm of your feet, having you whimper out.

Your aching hole needed him, it was taking him so long. Seriously you wish he’d kill you now because this so actually torture. The only thing you could do was start to cry, tears leaving their corners and running into your hair. You were more than frustrated. Angry, horny, needy, powerless, you wanted it so bad you were losing control, it didn’t matter, no one else could judge you, and who would be worse than Sukuna?

“You came in here, climb all over me, just to cry now? You’re so pathetic.”

“Please,” You whine. “I want you to put it in.”

His face changed, from laughing at you beg, to sharpening his focus. Even after all this, getting caught, threatened, insulted, you’ve started to beg for it. He takes his legs up from pinning yours, putting them to your sides as he aligns himself to your front hole. “Say it again.”

“Please Sukuna, put it in-“ He lowers his hips and dives deep into you. He watches as your head writhes. Instantly youre spread apart, the sudden plunge casted a warm blush across your face and electricity towards the tips of your fingers. “Oooh,”

“Fuuuuuck.” He finished for you. He continues to grind deeply into you, quickly using his now free hand to gag you from waking everyone up. Good thing too as you were messy, fucked silly couldn’t cover it. You gave up control a long time ago. He wouldn’t kill you, not right now anyway, you especially wouldn’t let him without trying to get one last nut. It was diabolical how down bad he had you. It was more of your unhealed trauma and he just happened to be the best person to help you out, willing or not.

——————————————————————————

You lay there as the base of your back ached. Every part of your body was bruised again, you could only imagine to move again as you tried catching your breath. You had lost count on just how many times he’s forced an orgasm out of you, mind numbingly rich euphoria every time. Nothing else mattered, you were more than thrilled the first 2 times but started to wonder if he ever got tired.

It wasn’t until after your fifth orgasm that he managed to get his first one in. You were honestly almost regretting climbing into his room but his second had him pinning you on your back as he lay on your lower torso and legs. You couldn’t feel anything but your pulsating cervix, half feeling good from the pain and lingering pleasure, the other half making you know that this was a mistake and the nausea was on you.

Raising your free arm, you weakly start to pat his head. It was over, you insatiable perverted needs were fulfilled, so what were you going to do now? It’s not like you’re in love with the guy, you don’t even know if you’ll get to wake up tomorrow with this stunt. “It was worth it.” You thought. Running your fingers thorough his hair, and tracing his back, you fall asleep holding him, accepting that this is it.

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kafus · 9 months ago

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over the weekend at the knoxville regional pokemon championships, i met up with a longtime internet friend in person for the first time, and he traded me a very special pokemon - a unique celebi that takes a bit of context to explain the significance of

from november 2001 to january 2005, the building that is now a nintendo world store in new york city was actually an american pokemon center, which hosted the "Gotta Catch ‘Em All!" station, a large machine that you could pop your gold/silver/crystal cartridge into (or later ruby/sapphire/firered/leafgreen, but that's not relevant here) and get a special distribution pokemon unique to the store. often times these were normal pokemon in eggs with special moves they couldn't usually learn, but other times they ran distributions for shiny legendaries, and of course, the mythical celebi.

there's very few pictures of the machine and all of them are pretty low quality, but you can see an iteration of it here during the gen 3 era:

when PCNY (pokemon center new york) shut down, the machine and its contents were presumed lost forever, but due to the preservation efforts and the good luck of a few individuals, some of the distributions have been preserved, as well as parts of the machine and its software. this is extra incredible because almost all gen 2 save files from the time the machine was actually functional are long since wiped due to the battery inside dying, meaning that very very few of the gen 2 event pokemon distributed from this machine at the time still exist. i won't go super in detail on that in this post but you can read an article about all of that here (julie, the person who runs this historical PCNY fansite is incredibly passionate and if you want to know anything about the PCNY store i absolutely recommend reading her writing!)

so, one day when i was rambling to my friend (his name is Venty!) about my fascination with the PCNY machine, and how i wish i had been born early enough to experience that, as well as wishing that i could have traded with anyone in gens 1-3 as a child but never got to due to isolation, venty told me that he's actually friends with a guy (Professor Rex) who knows the guy who owns the remnants of the PCNY machine (Gridelin), and he would love to reach out and ask if there's any way rex could distribute a celebi to himself and trade it to him sometime so that eventually when me and venty met in person one day, he'd be able to trade the celebi to me.

i pretty much burst into tears and very passionately explained how much that would mean to me - not just because owning a celebi actually distributed from the historical PCNY distribution station is just... insanely cool, but because like i said, i had never traded anyone in the old internet-less generations of pokemon, and having that be my first was just... a monumental thought. i am deeply fascinated with old gen event distributions because of the tactile, interpersonal nature of them, in direct contrast with my isolation and loneliness as a child. it might sound silly to be so worked up over a collection of bytes/pixels, but i really couldn't believe venty would offer me something so kind. and not only did he offer to ask - rex said yes!!

so on may 21st last year (2023) rex traveled out and distributed the celebi to his pokemon silver cartridge. specifically, the celebi is from the "Celebi Present Campaign" which ran from the 22nd of november 2002 to the 28th of november 2002. the display on the monitor is the same video that would have appeared on the screen in the PCNY store, but flipped sideways here haha. (the gen 2 distributions were special and had custom animations for the legendaries and stuff, which you can watch here in full quality on gridelin's channel - there's videos of the other distribution animations on his channel, too!)

and then months later, during the weekend of august 11th 2023, rex and venty met up at the pokemon world championship in japan and rex traded the celebi to venty's gold cartridge...

...then, finally, just this past weekend, on sunday (february 4th 2024) venty and i finally met in real life for the first time at the knoxville TN regional pokemon championships, and with link cable in hand the celebi finally made its way to me in my hotel room, after crossing the ocean twice and passing through canada to the US to japan and back to the US...!!

gen 2 pokemon data isn't very complicated, but you can tell that my celebi is unique from the other PCNY celebis dumped online (here and here if you'd like to play with some of these historical pokemon yourself) because it has the trainer ID of 00204 which none of the publicly available celebis have - though of course to me, regardless of what becomes publicly available in the future (and i hope one day the common layperson can simply emulate the PCNY machine, video game preservation >>> unique collections always) this celebi will always be special and unique because of how it got to me, and because it represents my friendship with venty who i care so much about. it was an extremely kind gesture i will never forget and i can't believe how much traveling and how many people were involved with getting this tiny bundle of bytes and pixels to me. i hugged venty after the trade was done haha

oh, and by the way, don't worry, i have the hardware to back up my gen 2 save files so this celebi will never die even after my crystal cartridge battery eventually dies once more!! (also, while i don't think it would be an issue i do want to say please don't bother any of the people mentioned in this post...! gridelin & co are working on making the distribution machine in question available for anyone to use, it'll come out whenever it's out and for now there are dumps of the events that were recovered. i would not want them to receive any annoying requests for pokemon because of me. thank you!)

#pokemon #pokemon crystal #gsc #pokemon gsc #celebi #mystery gift #ayano was here #ayano.txt #long post

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bearyzdiary · 10 months ago

Note

Hellooo 👋 I know you’re busy with other requests but I can’t help with this idea

With hyperpink girly reader (gender neutral Ofc or your choice) though they may seem mean to others but is really nice to Simon, very affectionate to him (covering his face with pink lip gloss marks) , and protective too. Chase Simon’s bullies away with their neon pink platform heels.

I’ve been obsessing with pink x emo dynamic

Take however long you want!! Thanks for reading this and I hope you’ll have a good day/night ✊

Bubblegum

Simon x reader

Simon was a loser and you were the popular icon of the college you both went to.Your style was so pretty and colorful,Mostly pink but any color would fit you.

You met Simon on your first day when you needed help finding the girls restroom to re-do your lip combo.He instantly fell in love with you.

He soon enough made a big enough of move to get closer to you and you guys ended up getting close to each other to start dating blah blah blah!

Once you guys got close enough he confessed about how he was struggling with poor mental health and was a main target for bullying.

You never liked them.You use to be a target for bullying until you kinda just snapped and told them off.You were left alone after that and ever since then you been helping people who get bullied.

You sat on his bed as he cleaned up his floor.You had came over to listen to him vent and to help him with some English because he needed an idea of what to write.

“People are so shitty sometimes Simon,but you gotta ignore them and show them you don’t care! They’re just a bunch of self projecting losers”You say while fixing your digital camera.

Simon nodded before shrugging.He didn’t have the confidence like you did.You made yourself known while he kinda just stood on the side lines and supported you.”come here”you say gently as you place your camera on Simon’s windowsill.

Simon got up from his spot on the floor and made his way towards you.he sat next to you before staring into your eyes.You grab the sides of his stubble covered face and plant small kisses all over his face.

You had applied some cute pink lipgloss a couple of minutes earlier so you left sticky lipgloss kiss marks.You giggled at your work before grabbing your camera and snapping a quick photo of Simon.

He started down at your lap before smiling.”You’re so so so so soo handsome babe.Im kinda glad some girls don’t you like you because now I can have you all to myself!”You joke as you place a couple more kisses on his face.

Simon feels his face get red as he hides his face in his hands.Girls never were into him as much as your were.He had Sophie yeah but Sophie only saw him as a friend

You were different.unlike Sophie,you didn’t leave him but you stayed with him and comforted him.When Sophie rejected him and made up the excuse she had to go,You stayed with him the whole entire night listening to him vent.

Simon and Sophie are still I guess you could call them friends but he doesn’t talk with her anymore as much.He has you!When Simon does talk to Sophie he mostly talks about his life and how you made it much better.

People still don’t know how Simon was able to get with someone like you.You were a likeable,bubbly and a talkative person unlike Simon who was like the complete opposite,but they do say opposites attract.

You sometimes would even chase them off,it didn’t matter what type of shoes you were wearing you could run in 6 inch heels and still look flawless spewing out curses word at a bunch of losers who were picking on Simon.

Sometimes Simon would help with picking your outfits!he didn’t have much fashion sense when it came to himself but when he came to you,He knew exactly how to dress you.

“Ok Simon!I have this cute baby pink crop top or should I wear the baby blue one?”You ask while showing your boyfriend the two shirts.Simon did a quick scan off both shirts before looking at the skirt you had picked out.It was a black,pleated skirt with small rhinestones on the belt loops.

“I feel like you should wear the blue one.I think it would go good with the skirt your gonna wear”Simon said while going back to messing with his camera,

You nod as you toss the pink shirt back into the closet before smiling at Simon and thanking him for his help.Not only was he such a cutie but a big help when it came to styling you.

He was the only male you would trust picking out your outfits.Sometimes the two of you would match if you were able to convince him.it would take a couple minutes of begging but sooner or later you would make Simon have matching pink themed outfits!

Even if he found it absolutely ridiculous,As long as you were happy he was even more happy.

#cry of fear #cry of fear x reader #cry of fear x you #simon henriksson #simon henriksson x reader #character x you #video game x reader #x reader #x y/n #fluff

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jazeswhbhaven · 1 month ago

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👻👻Happy Spooky Month Ya'll👻👻

Have yourself a Asmo~

So as with any update of mine for the month, let's get it poppin' with some quick housekeeping rules since I've gained some new faces since the last update!

👻Don't come up in my space with the bullshit, meaning racism/colorism, homophobia, etc.

👻If you have a non-sharing yumeship do yourself a favor and don't follow me as I equally talk about and simp for pretty much the majority of the characters for this game

👻I talk and write cxc content, I always tag it so ya'll can mute it so just fair warning

👻Venting is welcome in my inbox, but no venting about other users in my inbox and using me as a mediator. That's ya'lls beef not mine.

👻Absolutely no minors.

👻Requests are s l o w. Like I still have stuff from weeks/months ago I haven't answered so please be patient with me ;w;

What's going on this month for my blog?

Uh tbh I was supposed to have a WHB OCversary event for myself and well that hasn't been going to well because of outside factors. If ya'll see it before Halloween that would be my ideal goal.

Also I was going to do a Halloween thingie like how I did for my other blog last year but I don't think I will end up getting to it...I might just update with the kings/nobles I didn't include!

Other than that keep an eye out for the following reacts:

👻Asmodeus Selfie 👻Gabriel X-mas Miracle And this is totally dependent on when my friends share the stories with me or if I get them myself. I was supposed to have a react for Levi and Mammon's bath story but I'll probably dish that out for next month instead.

Oh but another thing!

So after some thought, if I get myself together and figure out a sound schedule...and after doing more research I will possibly be opening a Patreon for ficlets/blurbs for other fandoms including this one based on a poll vote. Most of it will be never posted on tumblr so it will be exclusive to my patrons only! The tiers won't be too expensive tho. But this is still a up in the air thought and I'll let ya'll know if it's ever going forward. I'd like to think I'd get support but alas, gotta be realistic sometimes lol

Hey so, Asmodeus....eh? *wink*

yes. Asmodeus has the fandom up in a tizzy and I think that's a given. For LU(Love Unholyc) fans this has been a long time coming seeing him like this, and for folks like me who kinda know OF him or don't know him at all then yeah fucking side swept my ass.

Let me gather my strength to write some stuff about him...I want to I really do...and we shall see if I can get my brain going. There's so much potential with him too. Other than him being fine as fuck.

Anywayssssssss thank you all for following me and my crazy, engaging, and being the lovely folks ya'll are. Let's continue to simp and vibe for the bois~

your lovely admin~ ♡( •ॢ◡-ॢ)✧˖° ♡ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

#jwhbhaven blog updates🖤#blog rambles #blog update #as always ya'll are great

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madelynraemunson · 1 year ago

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CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT 𓆩♡𓆪

(Book #1 of the Hellfire Gentlemen's Club series)

(strip club owner!eddie × fem!exotic dancer!hargrove!× reader)

𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐔 18+ minors get out of my kitchen

Chapter 010: The Freak

A fight breaks out at the Hellfire Gentlemen’s Club.

* = somewhat smut

** = smut

↳ chapters: 001, 002*, 003** , 004**, 005 , 006 , 007* , 008**, 009, 010, 011, 012* , 013**, 014**, 015, 016**, 017, 018, 019, 020*

word count: 4.4k words

warnings & disclaimers — mentions of seggs tr@ff!ck!ng, lots of blood, violence, physical altercation, profanities, glass shattering, screaming, jealousy

“I feel it coming, my soul cannot be found. I feel it coming, don’t fucking tie me down.”

♡

Eddie is glued to Nina’s hip during her orientation.

You can hardly watch. You can’t even listen. All Back of the House seems to be talking about is the fact that the cute new girl pulled up to work with Eddie. Apparently she skipped out of the passenger side of his van stoned out of her mind, waltzing in absentmindedly while Eddie opened the door for her.

Nina’s excuse was that she didn't have a ride to work. And while that may be true, your jealousy was projecting itself...hard. The times you were in Eddie’s van sitting right where she was were completely unrelated to work.

But Nina is a pretty girl. Eddie does love doing favors for pretty girls who flatter him.

You still couldn’t figure out why no one will talk about anything else. Like how Henry has evidently been spiraling into a lonely, seasonal depressive episode and could snap any minute. Or how whoever is closing isn’t sweeping the aisle all the way through. Also, one of the lights keeps flickering. Totally throws off the whole vibe of VECNA’S LAIR.

But no, the hot topic of today’s shift is still Nina and Eddie.

It's an awakening for you though. Now you really understand and have accepted that you are no different from everyone else.

Eddie’s jokes? He recycles with everybody.

Food? Makes for everybody.

Smoking and drinking in his van? With everybody.

Calls on Henry to fight off the bad guys? Yes, for everybody…

You are not special.

Speaking of Henry…he’s off task again. Luckily lunches are usually not busy so he can afford to be away from the door.

Henry is at VECNA’S LAIR with you, chatting away with Eddie’s buddy Gareth while you give Gareth a lap dance. And you can tell by the eagerness in Henry’s eyes that he’s anticipating his dance that you agreed to do for him to combat his loneliness.

“You gotta let me know how your dance goes, Creel,” Gareth grins. “Shy Girl is one of the best.”

Gareth is one of your regulars. He went to school with Eddie, played in his band Corroded Coffin when they were younger, and he also tips well. Eddie usually stays and chats with him, but today he is off and aloof, avoiding any type of eye contact with the both of you.

Screw Eddie. He’s seemed to have forgotten about you already now that there’s a new toy for him to play with.

“I love how you move your hips, babe,” Henry comments, snapping you back into reality. “And how you bond with every customer. I had no idea men pay you just to talk to them sometimes.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised,” you nod all while grinding yourself onto Gareth, hands combing through his wavy hair and trailing down to graze his neck. “Some guys just come here just to vent. Business men, teachers, doctors...”

“That’s really nice,” Henry blushes.

“Bouncers too,” you wink at him. “You know, when they’re not clocked in and supposed to be working.”

Henry’s eyes widen as he realizes, and soon he’s back up and starting towards the door. You and Gareth share an innocent chuckle about it before carrying on with your business.

"I can tell that dude is lonely," Gareth makes the same observation. "He doesn't have that many friends outside work."

"I wonder why," you ponder aloud, doing a little dance on Gareth’s lap. "He's so nice."

"From what Eddie told me, it's hard for Henry to open up to people," your patron explains. "Dude had a fucked up home life when he was younger. Dad was a piece of shit to him and his sister. Abused the shit outta 'em and their mom."

There's a pattern here. You try not to think about it.

"Anyways," Gareth says pulling out a $20 bill. "Can you give me scratches on my back? Trying to make an ex flame jealous."

"You manipulative fuck," you banter, snagging the $20 from him anyway. "I'm sure you have your reasons though."

So you honor Gareth's requests and leave some sharp etchings on his back, one large scratch in the shape of a heart.

You scan the club as you work, searching for your sister. Max is spotted near the entrance of the club, acquainting herself with Lucas and Dustin. She also met Steve earlier today and admitted to you that she has an innocent crush on him.

Of course she would. Who wouldn’t have a crush on The King?

You smile at how easy Max makes friends. She tries not to look at you while working but sometimes her curiosity takes over.

Gareth nods towards her.

"I see your sister knows the big secret now."

"Yeah, one less thing to worry about," you shrug sheepishly.

"She's supportive, I'm assuming?"

"Very."

"That's good," Gareth rubs your back. "I'm happy for you."

“Thanks,” you smile.

You catch sight of Steve next as he walks over to you. He greets you with a warm kiss and rests a hand at your waist.

Eddie watches you with Steve and Gareth, attempting to remain composed and professional with Nina as he spots her on the pole.

"What is going on here?" Steve asks you.

"I'm trying to make one of Gareth's ol' lady friends jealous," you explain. "Leaving him scratches and all."

"I love your sharp ass nails," Gareth swoons. He hands you a five.

"You are just spoiling me today,” you coo. “You can pick out my nail color next, Gare.”

"Green," Gareth answers right away.

"Yeah, I second that," Steve agrees.

Steve leans in to kiss you. You kiss him back, affectionately, relishing in how beautiful Steve always made you feel. Meanwhile, Gareth watches, running his hands softly across your thighs and muttering a soft, “fuck…”

And then you hear Eddie clear his throat closeby you.

"Jesus H. Christ," you hear Eddie grimace.

Eddie sounds uncomfortable. Good. It is not until someone else speaks that you realize he was shaken up about something else.

“Well well well,” comes a voice. “Looking just as skanky as you did when I last saw you.”

You look to see the patron standing by the entrance. He’s the scariest he’s ever looked. Your heart sinks to the floor.

It’s hard for you to find the words. “You...”

“Boo,” he grins, amused at how startled you are. “Kinda insulting that you think all these men can give you more than I can.”

“What the fuck are you doing here?” you demand.

Frantic footsteps sound not too long after, and Henry comes spilling in. He looks mortified, panicked. He had one job and he failed to do it.

“Hargrove, I’m sorry!”

“Henry!” you scold him, almost at a scream-whisper. “You weren’t supposed to let him in!”

“I didn’t know!” Henry exclaims.

“I thought Eddie told you!”

“I forgot!” Henry says. “It all happened so fast.”

“Yeah, security here sucks,” the man you’re tempted to throw something at smirks.

A crowd starts to form, which is odd because no one said anything that inherently stood out. But energy doesn’t lie. The tension in the room is noticeable.

“You can’t be here,” Eddie’s voice darkens.

Eddie makes his way down from the stage and to the front of the club, Nina watching in confusion as everyone huddled around. Eddie clears his throat and stands with his chest propped forward, chin raised along with his gritted teeth.

“You’re not welcome here,” your boss snaps.

“That’s no way to talk to a customer…”

“I know who you’re here for and you can’t have her,” Eddie growls.

Eddie looks over at you. Making his way into the crossfire, Eddie creates even more space between the two of you. Henry stays where he’s at on high alert.

“And I own this joint. So I can refuse service to anyone… Billy.”

Your twin brother flashes a dangerous, amused smile. “I see I’ve become a household name.”

Billy inches closer to you, leaving you paralyzed in place.

He looks different from when you last saw him. A lot more muscular. His beer belly is gone, and he finally shaved that obnoxious porn stache that he swore drew in all the ladies. Billy looks more satisfied at your horror than angry at who you’ve become.

A million thoughts are racing through your head. How could your brother have possibly known where you are? Did you leave your location on? Did you butt-dial him? Was it 'twintuition'?

Then you remember he's Billy. And a sociopath like Billy always finds a way to win.

“Eddie Munson,” Billy continues. “Owner of The Hellfire Club. Drug dealer. Car jacker. The town FREAK who’s notorious for sleeping with his employees before attempting to sell them into a sex trafficking ring in the outskirts of town.”

“That is SO NOT TRUE!” you hear Chrissy scream from behind the boys.

“Oh, hey Cherry!” Billy chimes. “Huge fan of your work. So is Eddie, though. And a million other men, so what makes me special huh?”

Henry is hovering, lingering between Eddie and Billy with a stance you knew all too well. The angled torso, a hand floating ready to butt in. The memories come flooding into the room in the form of burning tears against your waterline. Your throat is tight.

“How…the fuck…” you choke. “Did you find me?”

Billy flashes you his phone. Looking through his cracked screen, you see that the evidence is all on Reddit. Sure enough, there you were, doing your thing in a video surrounded by tons of men, exposing your birthmark that’s oh so similar to Billy’s.

“This girl is so fucking hot!” a Redditor comments.

“What’s her name?” someone asks.

“She goes by Shy Girl,” another answers. “Hellfire Gentlemen’s Club in Hawkins, IN.”

It’s no surprise that Billy follows the ‘stripper’ Sub-Reddit. You’ve gone viral, so of course he was bound to see it.

“Ever heard of a digital footprint?” Billy questions darkly. “Shy Girl?”

You gulp. In the age of technology, you should’ve known that your cover would be blown if you stood out well enough. How could you be so stupid?

“Oh look!” your brother chuckles. “There it is, the biggest giveaway of all. Right front and center… your birthmark."

“You win,” is all you can say. “You can stop now.”

“I’m not trying to win anything,” Billy jeers. “I’m just saying, if you had a brain, you would’ve at least thought to cover it up with makeup or something.”

Eddie looks over at you with sad eyes. It’s the first time he truly looked helpless. A part of him also looks like his own cover is blown too. You can’t help but wonder why.

“Yeah, you could say I did my research,” Billy draws on. He shoves his phone back into his pocket. “It kept me occupied on the plane. The news articles aren’t hard to find either. Hawkins is pretty small. A whole shoebox compared to Leucadia.”

His eyes dart back to Eddie. “And I’ve read up a lot about you.”

“You know the media loves to twist things,” Eddie hisses. “Especially if everything about me fits the narrative they’re trying to sell.”

Billy decides to challenge him. “So you’re saying everything is fake news?”

Eddie doesn’t comment. It strikes you odd that Eddie doesn’t even try to defend himself. What could he and Billy possibly be talking about it?

“Funny, I on the contrary believe you’ve earned your reputation,” Billy insists.

“What is he talking about Eddie?” you ask.

“Just forget about it,” Eddie shuts down.

“Yeah, forget about it,” Billy somewhat agrees. He turns to you. “You’re coming with me.”

You turn to Max. She watches, terrified as Billy ushers you in the corner. You’re too drained to fight back so you let him. But when you finally meet his eyes, Billy looks like your brother again.

“Seriously, WHAT were you thinking?” his voice shows genuine concern.

Billy sounds more disappointed now than vengeful.

“This is all because of YOU,” you snap. “I had no choice.”

“That’s your bullshit excuse?” Billy demands, eyes welling up with tears. “You’re a fucking waitress! I’m sure Benny’s down the block would’ve sufficed.”

Billy’s an asshole, for sure. But at the end of the day he’s still a multifaceted human. When the trauma doesn’t take over, he’s a level-headed individual. A clear thinker with good critical thinking skills and an ability to read the room. Something you’ve spent your whole life second-guessing yourself over.

Your brother continues his tangent.

“YOU HAVEN’T DANCED IN YEARS, first of all. The only ‘stripping’ you know is when you go skinny dipping with your little hoe friends at Black's Beach. You don’t have a permit to dance, which I’m pretty sure is illegal somehow because EVERYWHERE ELSE in Indiana requires a stripping permit. You don’t even know anything about what this industry entails, yet you cannonball headfirst into it like it’s just easy. This industry is a hotspot for sex trafficking. Millions and women and little girls are kidnapped every year and forced into sex work, don’t you know that?”

Billy nudges the ribbons in your hair.

“Child-like ribbons in your hair too. You disgust me.”

He pauses. It’s like he has an epiphany. The devilish smirk returns.

“But maybe Eddie knew that,” he tuts, waving a stupid finger of his in the air. “BINGO! With the little experience you have, Eddie must’ve known you were naive. Desperate. A little bit of a slut. Eddie knew he just HAD to get his hands on you. Take advantage of you. Exploit you.”

“Shut up.”

You knew Billy was being dumb. But what he says makes sense. And in the depths of your wounded heart, what he said felt true in a sense. Because there was a time you did feel betrayed by Eddie. Meanwhile Eddie has gone pale.

All eyes are on you now, and not for the reason you want. Sure, it’s a strip club. But never have you ever felt so naked. Never has your soul ever felt so exposed.

“Yeah…” Billy grins. It’s like you can see the gears grinding in his head. He flashes Eddie a disgusted look. “That’s exactly what it is. You know, you give me the creeps, Munson. Sure you hear that a lot.”

“You give me the creeps…Hargrove,” Eddie counters. “With how IN LOVE you seem to be with your sister.”

Eddie takes a few steps towards him to elaborate.

“Showing up to the place she strips at…causing a scene when you see her on someone’s lap… and then proceeding to tell her no one will love her like you do?”

Eddie scoffs.

“Yeah. Totally not creepy.”

“We’re family, Eddie,” Billy sighs. “Families love each other. Of course you wouldn’t know anything about that.”

“Hey, douchebag—” Steve begins but Chrissy stops him.

“Too fucking far, Billy,” you plead. “Stop.”

“You know what else I found out?” Billy smiles. “Your boy toy Eddie comes from a long line of crooks.”

Billy turns to Eddie. “Your half brother Eagan is a con man in Montauk, New York. And your other brother Ansen Wayne back in Memphis got arrested for, guess what? Arson! Funny.”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Chrissy roars again.

But Billy proceeds. “And if I’m not mistaken, your dad Al is a drug dealer who married one of his clients, your mother. And guess what? When she wasn’t bringing him any money? He pimp slapped her in broad daylight and eventually slit her throat.”

Billy looks you in the eyes when he says that.

“How tragic,” Billy breathes. “Dad killing Mom.”

Billy turns back to Eddie.

“One dysfunctional ass family. And a poor excuse of a son.”

“Takes one to know one,” Eddie spits.

Billy laughs and nods. You’re surprised that doesn’t set him off.

“I’m not entertaining this,” your brother refuses. “I’m trying to be a better person, but Munson you are pushing it. Nah, my family is where I draw the line. Come on, sis. You’re coming with me.”

Yanking you by the wrist, Billy pulls you along with him.

“No,” you refuse.

But his grip is too tight. Now you’re just along for the ride.

“I would never do anything to hurt your sister,” Eddie says, running after you both. Henry follows closely behind Eddie. “Surely that’s something you can’t say.”

“You’d never do anything to hurt her?” Billy halts challenging him with the most satisfied grin on his face. “You’d never do anything to hurt her?”

Eddie nods. Billy releases you, sending you flying forward into Max’s arms. She’s shaking when you wrap your arms around her for comfort.

“What happened to Isabelle then, Eddie?” Billy taunts him. “Court records are also public, you know.”

Isabelle. Eddie’s ex-girlfriend. How does Eddie’s ex-GF fit into Hellfire’s narrative? In your mind you always thought Isabelle was a random chick.

The whole room is silent. It’s like a wave washed over everybody. Eddie simply stands there, no visible reaction besides the look of defeat.

Something tells you something is very, very wrong. Finally, Eddie speaks.

“Don’t you EVER bring up my wife again,” Eddie’s voice is breaking. “I loved her with my whole heart.”

Your world stops. Everyone else’s keeps going.

“Your wife?” you exclaim. “You have a wife?”

Billy exudes a Joker-like laugh as he watches the lore unravel.

“Ex-wife,” Eddie corrects himself. “We’re separated.”

His gaze burns into Billy.

“Since you’re such a historian, Hargrove,” Eddie hisses. “I’m afraid you missed the part where Isabelle used me to get her hands on my business and then weaponized the fact that she’s a woman to try and tarnish it during our separation. But of course, it doesn’t feed your narrative about me so you’re purposely leaving it out.”

“That’s what you get then,” Billy’s tongue glides against his inner cheek. “For getting involved with an employee. They’re all the same. A bunch of gold-digging whores.”

It all makes sense now. You look over at Eddie. Plastered on his face is the same haunted eyes he had the night he tried to resist your advances. Now you know why Eddie was so hesitant to pursue you. He wasn’t playing hard to get. He was guarding his heart. And his business.

“So, you wanna tell us about the trafficking ring?” Billy questions.

“I didn’t try to sell her,” Eddie spat. “God dammit. Our marriage was bleeding into work so I had to send her to a different club. One I thought I trusted. But the owner stabbed me in the back also.”

“Yeah!” Chrissy adds. “He was an undercover pimp! Didn’t you read the court docs on the plane like you said?”

“He’s not exactly book smart, Chris,” Eddie smirks. “Too many big words for his big brain to handle.”

There’s nothing else for Billy to say. His failed attempt to paint Eddie as the bad guy and him as the hero did not go to plan. But as usual, Billy wants the last word.

“Stay away from my sister.”

And soon your wrists are suffocated by his grip again. You whimper in fear as Billy drags you along, angrily pulling you towards the exit while resisting your kicks and shoves.

“This is what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna go put your fucking clothes on,” Billy’s voice shakes. “Grab your shit, and you and Max are gonna come back home with me. Away from this shady bullshit.”

You can tell Billy is also terrified for you. But this is your story to write now. Not his. This is a narrative he cannot control.

“No!” you scream. “My new life is HERE.”

“The fuck it isn’t,” Billy denies. “Your life and Max’s lives are in California.”

“Are you deaf?” Steve demands. “She said no. Let her go.”

“Aw, now Walmart Ashton Kutcher has something to say!”

“Leave me alone, Billy,” you wail. “We are not going with you.”

“It’s all an inside job,” Billy is shaking now. “He’s no good for you, sis. Don’t you understand? How can you be so blind?”

“It’s my journey!” you roar. “And my life. You don’t get to control me anymore, especially since you’re part of the problem. And I’d rather be provided for by men like you than live with you ever again.”

Billy can only chuckle. “You’re delusional.”

He grabs Max on the way out.

“Max come on.”

“NO!” Max refuses.

Steve jumps in front of her and pulls her behind him. Billy rushes to grab Steve but is pushed back by Henry.

“Why are you grabbing Harrington?” Henry demands.

“Why’s he grabbing my sister?”

You’re waiting for Billy to face Henry’s wrath. He’s already trying to create space between the both of you so that you can wriggle free.

“HEY!”

To your surprise, the fist that meet’s Billy’s nose isn’t Henry’s.

“EDDIE!” Chrissy shrieks.

“WHOA MAN!” Steve screams, trying to run and stop the fight but Henry tackles him.

“EDDIE WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Dustin demands. “EDDIE, STOP!”

Billy is blindsided by Eddie with little to no time to react. Eddie gets two good punches in when he’s sprawled on top of him.

But Billy is quick to bounce back. Already accustomed to punches, Billy allows Eddie a few more blows to tire him out. When his hair gets in the way, Billy grabs Eddie by the wrist and tosses him off, hoisting himself over him to get him in a headlock.

“Son…of…a BITCH!” Eddie elbows him.

And as Billy scrunches to block his ribcage, Eddie gets him with a good left hook and a right cross-jab.

Blood splatters from Billy’s nose onto the surrounding area.

“HOLY SHIT!” Dustin shrieks.

“BILLY!” Maxine screams.

“You guys, STOP!” you order.

You rush over to your brother and attempt to pry him off. Steve rushes to Eddie and tries to do the same.

Billy’s stumbling back, unusual since he always wins fights. This is causing you to stumble back and lose your grip on him. Eddie gets a few more good punches in.

Jab. Jab. Jab. Jab-cross. Upper cut. Upper cut. And a seismic kick to the solar plexus.

Eddie Munson is strong.

“EDDIE, LEAVE HIM ALONE!” cries Chrissy. “YOU’RE GONNA KILL HIM IF YOU DON’T STOP.”

“Yeah?” Eddie mutters. “Well that’s kinda the plan.”

When he hears that, Henry stops whatever he’s doing to charge towards Billy and Eddie. You feel yourself grow lightheaded because of the amount of blood that has been expelled. You can almost smell the iron.

“Nope. That’s enough,” Henry declares, dragging your boss away this time.

Eddie has the advantage now during this time, and he uses all of it, punching Billy mercilessly into the ground. Billy tries to get up, but fails, and just when he’s not looking, Eddie sneaks a few roundhouse kicks to his head and neck.

The blood starts to pool.

“EDDIE, STOP!” everyone continuously chants.

“EDDIE, LET IT GO MAN!” Gareth begs.

“EDDIE, GET OFF OF HIM NOW!” Chrissy pleads.

“IT’S NOT WORTH IT!” Steve says to him.

“YES THE FUCK IT IS!” Eddie roars. “IT IS WORTH IT!”

The sound of glass shattering fills your ears as you look over at the boys. Henry managed to tackle Eddie in one brisk movement, unfortunately taking a small table that housed some beer bottles on it with them.

Now it smells like rust and Corona.

Gareth and Steve take over now, pulling Eddie away while Eddie cusses Billy out through his bloody nose. Meanwhile, Max rushes to Billy’s side and urges him to get out. Henry runs to her aid, dragging out your volatile twin brother so he wouldn’t harm anybody else. Billy’s out of sight now, but the thought of him still lingering in Hawkins until he sees you two again is unsettling.

“Whoa,” Steve exhales.

“What?” you ask him, crossing your arms in frustration.

“Eddie just fought someone,” he pants. “Your brother, Billy at that.”

You try to shrug it off. “Big deal,” you say. “Fights happen all the time here.”

“You don’t understand Hargrove,” Henry says, walking up you. “Eddie never fights anyone.”

You turn to face Henry.

“That’s what I’m here for,” the unscathed bodyguard explains.

———————-

The first person you go over to is Max. Consoling each other, you both hug one another and rock back and forth.

You look off into the corner and see Dustin with a tampon, trying to shove it up Eddie’s bloody nose while Nancy watches in amusement. Eddie swats Dustin’s hands away, mumbling, “Get that shit away from me” and setting for Kleenex instead.

“Shy Girl,” Nancy calls out. “Please come and get your man.”

Confused that she’s even talking to you that way, it dawns on you that Nancy is talking about Eddie. You walk towards Nancy, who is behind the bar, supervising Eddie and Dustin from a distance.

“Do you have some ice?” you ask her.

She holds up a pack she had been preparing.

“Way ahead of you love,” Nancy says.

You chuckle and thank Nancy as you take the ice from her. She gives you a nod, you’re welcome.

“He’s not my man, by the way,” you add, correcting her. “Just did something really sweet.”

“Well does his ass know that?” Nancy raises a brow. “Only a dumbass in love does shit that crazy and stupid.”

You look over at Eddie. His eyes find you at the same time. Chrissy is over in the corner with Nina, talking her down from the anxiety witnessing a fight that bloody must’ve caused her. Steve is over at the lair still, thinking. You can’t read the expression on his face.

Your grip on the ice pack tightens as you walk closer to Eddie. He gives you a nod and a terrible excuse of a wave, slowly wincing in pain after the slightest raise of his left arm.

“You are vile,” you say in his voice from the day it all fell apart. You extend your hand with the ice pack in it to him.

Feeding into your truce, Eddie looks up at you with a faint smile. He takes the ice pack in his hand.

“I prefer the term protective,” he parrots you.

———————————

🏷️ tag list: @battymunson , @the-fairy-anon , @ali-r3n , @corrodedcoffincumslut , @bebe07011 , @mmunson86, @eddiesguitarskills , @chelebelletx , @imonhereforareasonsadly , @eddies-trailer-babe @hideoutside , @motherfckerr, @jxpsi , @munson-magic , @lindseyj23, @sidthedollface2 , @manda-panda-monium , @elvendria , @micheledawn1975 , @hereforshmut , @siriuslysmoking , @nymphetkoo , @m-chmcl-rmnc , @justinelittlewoodsworld , @ahoyyharrington , @keepittoyourselftellnobodyelse @kellyxo1 @emsgoodthinkin @winchester-angel @chloe-6123

#eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things 5 #eddie munson fanfiction #Eddie munson fanfic #Eddie munson x reader #Eddie x reader #Joseph quinn #Joe quinn #Steve harrington #SoundCloud

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unmaskingdisability · 6 months ago

Text

So you want to die (but shouldn't do that)

A list of ways I force myself to keep going even when my entire body is on fire & my brain feels like it's going through a cheese grater

MAKE A PLAN WITH SOMEONE YOU ACTUALLY LIKE - Not a friend you have to gear yourself up to hang out with. A good friend, that will cost low spoons, and plan to do something you enjoy. Nothing extravagant that requires a lot of energy, and it doesn't even have to be in the imminent future. Make a dinner plan for next week and think about that lilac lemonade you've been wanting to make for them. Make a plan to hang out later this month and watch anime with your friend that's good at bullshitting and making you laugh. You won't want to do this when you can't imagine leaving your bed. Do it anyways.

DRAG YOUR EXHAUSTED ASS OUTSIDE - Dress in as many layers as you need or just wrapped in a blanket. Wear sunglasses and headphones if you need. Don't force yourself to do anything, except being outside for at least a few minutes. Sometimes it's cold and wet and all I can handle is walking out for a minute. Sometimes it's warmer and pleasant and now I'm exhausted slumped in the sun or under a pine tree instead of in a dark dirty (mine is anyways bc of the wanting to die and pain) room

VENT - Look I'm the master hypocrite. I run a disability group and I still haven't told pretty much anyone in my life I had to quit my job after my body broke down too far too fast. I advocate emotional vulnerability all day and will legitimately enact it constantly, about everything except how fucking miserable and hopeless and depressed and in pain and scared I am. You don't want to tell anyone because you're convinced they already hate you or are about to leave. I'm not gonna say you need to get over that tonight. But you gotta get it out of your head and your muscles and your body. You've gotta write or draw or splash paint (I will literally fingerpaint just colors sometimes) or hack up invasive plants or make poetry or cry to the person you do feel comfortable talking to. You've gotta get it out You've gotta get it out and also! If being honest about your life and difficulties does push people away fuck them!! Community is everything and that's something they never were, so it's space for something real

GO SOMEWHERE NEW AND BEAUTIFUL - This is one of the hardest things to do when depressed, but if helps so much when you can get yourself somewhere new & exciting and show your brain good things are still happening. For me, this looks like going to a new park, or science/art museum, or to see some pretty lights strung up for the holidays. Nowhere so crowded or busy it'll be too overwhelming, you just need to show your brain everything isn't awful static and get some dopamine pumping.

I'll keep adding to this because I'm full of too much spite and exhaustion and reluctant extreme caring so much to leave you all alone in this shithole

#depression #suicide #suicidal #chronic pain #disability #fatigue #cripplepunk #cpunk #i cant fix the body or mind being on fire but i can tell you the ways i pull myself #white knuckled and resentful and exhausted #on to the next day that isnt so fucking awful #madpunk

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7ndipity · 1 year ago

Note

Hey, bestie :3

How was your day?:3

Can I request à headcanon for the seven of them with a girlfriend with an explosive temper? I'm really patient whatever I do (I'm actually studying law and it's really hard) but sometimes, I just run out of patience and boum! I explode like a volcano🤣 Saying a lot of bad words (not to people but to my belongings like my notebooks. Poor them.) while I'm usually really polite (people say that I speak like a book, some friends call me "Walking Encyclopaedia" so they are kinda surprise when I say some profanities). Sometimes, I just cry out of frustration. But many times, I just blame myself for being stupid.

How would they react?

Thank you and remember: YOU ARE THE BEST!

Their S/o Has an Explosive Temper

Ot7 x Reader

Warnings: none

A/N: Thanks for this request! Honestly, I think they’d all have fairly similar reactions, but I tried to make these all a lil different.

Masterlist

Requests are open

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Jin: He kinda does this too sometimes, so he gets it, but he really doesn’t like seeing you upset, so he tends to go into ‘Y/n Defense Mode’, wanting to know who/what irritated you and how he can fix it as soon as possible. “Yah, what’d they do? Give me names!”

Yoongi: Ngl, he’s gonna find it a lil hot sometimes jdgfjskfhdiu. But seriously, he gets that sometimes shit just gets to you and you gotta vent a little. If you start to get really worked up, he’ll try to calm you down, but otherwise he lets you work it out at your own pace

Hobi: He gets soo startled the first few times it happens, like ‘wtf happened to my sweet baby?! Since when do you use those words?!’ He might try to diffuse at least some of your anger if you’re really mad, but I think he mostly just tries to stay out of your way when you’re like this.

Namjoon: Tbh, he’s got a lil bit of a temper too, so he’s not that shocked, moreso just surprised to hear that kind of language from you. He mostly lets you be, trusting you to let him know if something’s really bothering you, and offering to talk if you need to.

Jimin: I think he’d be so genuinely startled at first, he thought he was the one with the temper in your relationship! He’s more concerned about why you're upset than anything else tho, wanting to try and find a solution or way to help out you if he can.

Taehyung: Similar to Jimin, I think he’d more worried than anything, wanting to know why you’re upset and if there’s any way he can help. He really hates seeing you upset, so he’d try to find a way to make you smile, whether that’s a simple kiss or surprising you with your fave food.

Jungkook: The first time he hears you get mad and curse, he’s like 👀, it’s just so different from your normal personality, he doesn’t quite know what to think. For the sake of your books and things, he might ask if you wanna try some boxing or smth with him to vent your frustrations.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

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theladybarnes · 1 year ago

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CRIMSON AND CLOVER: CHAPTER THREE

" You know, you're not what I thought you'd be like ”

▸ summary: winter ends and so do relationships ▸ characters: robin buckley, eddie munson, & steve harrington 💕 (ft. dustin henderson and jonathan byers) ▸ word count: 13.7k ▸ warnings: SEMI-SMUT (18+MINORS DNI) handjob, & angst ▸ series masterlist

DECEMBER (CONTINUED..)

“You’re kidding me.”

“I am not, Jonathan!” you hissed, looking down the hall. When there was no sign of anyone else coming out of their rooms, you continued on. “I just..left.”

“But why would you just..that doesn’t make sense! Tell me from the beginning again.”

Sighing, you sat down in the chair by the kitchen phone. It had been over an hour now of venting to Jonathan and because he’s currently hopped-up on whatever his friend Argyle supplied him, it’s taking longer to explain everything to him.

“Fine, but this is the last time.”

“Last time, promise.”

You go over the events that happened at the end of the night you spent at Steve’s. It was a bit painful to explain it in detail again but you really needed some advice from your friend. “..And when I looked back, he was standing there. Note in hand and everything.”

“Christ.” he sighed, “And since then you two haven’t talked?”

“I called him when I got home that afternoon. Other than that we’ve been thankfully busy. Mostly just school and then work. But I’ve switched with Keith a couple of times to avoid the long hours.”

“You really know how to put on the theatrics, don’t you?”

“Seriously?” you gaped, looking at the receiver as if it insulted you and not your friend on the other line. “I’m doing anything for theatrics. I’m literally trying to get out of possibly another fight.”

“Yeah, which surely won’t happen the next time you see each other again.”

“I’m sort of hoping it'll resolve itself by then.” he went silent for a moment and you knew that he was possibly coming to his own thoughts on it. “Don’t you think?”

“I’m thinking you’re not gonna like what I have to say.”

“I’m sure I can handle it. Just give it to me.”

He sighed softly, seeming to be more nervous at your request. But he spoke up either way. “I think you’re in the wrong for asking that much from Steve.”

“..you’re right. I’m hanging up.”

“Would you let me finish?” Jonathan chuckled before he turned serious again. “I get where you’re coming from. I know that in your head it’s just logical for the guy with no official ties there to just leave and go with you.”

“Good, you get it.”

“But,” he continued on. “I also think it’s wrong for you to assume it'd be easy. Steve Harrington has lived in Hawkins his whole life and despite any complaining he might have done to you at some point, a small part of him is gonna be scared shitless to just leave the comforts of home.”

You frowned at your friend’s words. Hating that a small part of you felt like what you were hearing was right. “But I left home. I haven’t lived there in almost three years..”

“And I’m sure if your parents asked you to come back you’d tell them no, right?”

“I—“ the answer died on your tongue. At this point you weren’t sure what you’d actually say to a question like that. While Hawkins the place wasn’t your home, the people that inhabited it were. And you didn’t think you could give up any one of them. Especially Steve.

“I know it sucks not to have things go your way. But sometimes you gotta take the curveballs life throws at you and do something else.”

“Something else?” you frowned. “But..what about the relationship? The feelings we worked on getting out..all that was just for nothing? All because we let fear get in the way of progressing it?”

Jonathan sighed and you can practically envision him with his hand on his hips right now. “Who says you guys are supposed to progress together? What if there’s changes along the way?..Look this is definitely something you should talk to Steve about. But, if this were me in the situation. I’d just do what my heart thinks is right. Even if it’s to the disappointment of others. Just do what makes you happy, you know?”

The thought about what makes you happy was easy to answer. It was Steve. He was the only thing these days that made you the most happy. But Jonathan was right, if you truly went with what you wanted, some people along the way might get hurt.

“Henderson? You still there?”

“I’m here I’m just..” you sighed. You were about to ask about his thoughts on taking a gap year when the sound of a car engine cut you off. Dragging the phone and long cord with you, you peeked through the window to see Steve parking in your driveway. “Shit.” you whispered. “Can I call you back later?”

“What? Why? Is Steve there?”

“Yes,” you muttered, looking as he seemed to be talking to himself in the car. “I think he must have heard you lecturing me.”

“Good. The two of you need to seriously sort your shit out. Anyway, Argyle is gonna come over tonight. He has this new album he wants to show me.”

“Fine, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“All right, sounds good. And look..just hear him out. Maybe he’s going through something we don’t know about, okay?”

The two of you muttered out a quick goodbye before dropping the phone back down. Grabbing your thick coat off the coat rack, you quickly made your way out the door. Closing it up behind you with a swift thud as Steve had just made his way out of his car.

“Oh, hey.” he said nervously. “Guess you heard me coming in.”

“Yeah.” you said plainly. “I was by the door anyway..”

The two of you slowly moved towards each other. His usually confident demeanor faltered as he approached. His eyes, usually warm when looking at you, had a dull shine. Snow crunched beneath your boots as you both met in the middle of the driveway. It made your stomach twist to know that the two of you were not only nervous but awkward with each other. Even when you hated Steve you never felt this bad.

“I missed you.” He said softly, reaching a hand out to place on your arm. “I missed you all week actually.”

“I missed you too.” you said softly, not even realizing that amidst the trouble, there was the need to see him again until he was before you now. Your eyes caught sight of a little patch of green peeking out from his shirt. Reaching forward you pull down his coat to expose the familiar tacky vest from work. “You came from work..”

He chuckled a bit, nodding his head before he unzipped his coat, exposing the rest of the vest to you.“Yeah, I did. Would have come sooner, but I was sort of building up the courage.”

That tugged at your heart a bit and you reached out to cup at his cheek. Rubbing with your thumb soothingly. “You should never be afraid to talk to me..”

He reached up to place his hand on top of yours, a small smile on his face. “Never. I’ll always want to talk to you..it was getting you to talk to me that made me nervous.”

Sighing, you look down to the ground. Not sure how the two of you were going to approach this. But things couldn’t continue this way. Turning your attention back to Steve, you give him what you hope came off as reassurance. “I’m listening..”

Changing your hand to lace together, he led you over so that the two of you could lean against your Aunt’s car. Shading you under the roof of the parking spot and also placing you closer to his side.

“I have a small confession.” he murmured, moving his other free hand into his pocket. “I did come with other intentions than just talking.”

You watched as he dug out a small box from his pocket. The size was oddly too familiar with something else but he quickly opened it up before you could question it. Peering down, you looked inside to find a beautiful gold necklace.

“Steve,” you softly gasped. “It’s not even Christmas yet.”

“Humor me.” he said before reaching in. He pulled at the chain until he was able to dangle the center of the necklace to you. A small letter ‘S’ shined back at you. Nudging at your shoulders, he gently turned you around so that he could place the necklace around your neck, quickly locking it on.

Turning back to face him, the two of you glanced down at the accessory. It was a perfect fit. And though you’ve never been one to have your boyfriend’s name be proudly displayed for others to see, the small little S made your heart beat faster.

“I've, uh, wanted to give that to you for some time now.” he said, clearing his throat. Almost nervously. “That box has been sitting in my sock drawer since the summer, honestly.”

“The summer?” you asked, “Why?”

“Remember that night before we were stuck in the elevator?”

You couldn’t help but smile a bit at the memory. It was the night that cemented your feelings for Steve. “Yeah,” you nodded. “There was that mess on the roof, then I got upset and you came over to cheer me up..it was perfect.”

Steve smiled at that, nodding his head in agreement.

“That night changed everything for me.” He reached up to cup the side of your face, eyes boring down to yours when he suddenly turned serious. “I wanted to tell you I loved you a thousand times that night. But seeing as we weren’t there yet, I settled for trying to make a grand gesture sort of thing.”

“You’ve loved me since that night?”

“I’ve loved you since Prom, Honey.”

Your jaw slacked at the small confession. Unsure how you could have missed at all that Steve’s feelings for you had been that serious then. Prom had been the first time in months since the two of you kissed and he felt that strongly then?

His hand reached out to hold the necklace, brushing his fingers lightly over the letter before he let go. “I got this the next day. Right in Starcourt.” he said, voice tinged with some sort of fondness. “Was gonna give it to you right when you entered the store, but then..”

“I came from Billy’s attack.” you finished, reaching up to hold onto the necklace. “You wanted to give me this since then?”

“I wanted to give it to you as a way to ask you to be my girl,” he looked down at the ground sadly. “But I guess now I’m giving it to you, to ask if you’re still my girl?”

You breath hitched at his words. It would seem leaving didn’t just prevent a fight from happening, but also put in a whole new worry for Steve. “I’m always gonna be your girl, Steve.” you said softly, reaching over to grab hold of his hand.

“Then why does it feel like I’m about to lose you?”

“You don’t have to lose me, Steve.” You sighed, letting go to lean back against the car. “In fact, I think me asking you to come with me proved otherwise.”

He straightened his composer, lips pursing at your words before he glanced up at you. “I told you, I can’t go with you. Not when I feel like I still need to be here.”

“I don’t get it, Steve.” You scoffed, pushing your hair away from your face. “How can you easily give me this necklace, talk about loving me for so long only to let me leave without even thinking about coming with me.”

“I can love you and know where I want to go, Trouble. It’s pretty easy to do both things.” He frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. “What I don't get is how you can love me back but be upset that I want to stay here. Why is long distance out of the question?”

“Because long distance isn’t feasible for us, Steve!” You moved to stand before him, peering up at his face better. “How can you and I, the same two people who sneak into each other’s houses in the dead of the night, the very people who are constantly touching each other, suddenly just deal with the next four years without seeing each other.”

“We’d see each other,” he pointed. “We’d have holidays, birthdays, and surprises. There’s ways we’d work things out.”

You sighed, meeting his intense gaze. "Those are only if we even get the chance to see each other. You’re forgetting that there are going to be nights where the both of us are tired from either work or school and we wouldn’t even have the comfort of having each other.”

He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "I know but Hawkins is... it's my home. There's something here I can't just walk away from."

“But you’re willing to walk away from us? From me?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady from the sudden ache in your throat. “I thought we were a team. I thought we'd want the same things..”

He paced back and forth, unable to meet your gaze as he suddenly became torn. "My friends are here, my family is here.”

"Why do you insist on staying stuck in Hawkins? You have so much potential, Steve. You could go anywhere, do anything, but you're choosing not to."

The word slipped out before you could see the impact cut across Steve’s hurt face. It was the same word that Tommy had used just the other month and from Steve’s furrowed brows, you could tell it struck a nerve again.

"I'm not stuck, okay?” He gritted. “This is where I belong right now. I've got responsibilities here."

"Responsibilities? What about your own dreams, Steve? What about your future?" you pressed again, exasperated at the fact that almost a week later and he still wasn’t seeing it.

"I've got people here who rely on me here, despite what you want or think." he countered, a hint of defensiveness in his voice.

"But what about you? Have you ever thought about what you want?" you shot back, feeling the weight of the disagreement hit again.

He hesitated for a moment, eyes cast down on the ground before he could meet your gaze again. "Maybe I've never really thought about all of it. But I can't just up and leave everything behind.”

"It's not about leaving everything behind, Steve. It's about growing, exploring, finding your own path,"

There was a life for Steve outside of Hawkins. Outside of you, and though your main point was to have him explore that life with you, it was hurting to see that he didn’t want that for himself.

“Look, I know it’s new for me to not agree to what you want, but this isn’t by choice. Even when I was with Nancy, I told her the same thing. I’d stick around, make sure she was okay and work here. I wanna do that for everyone.”

Bringing up Nancy brought up a sour feeling that you shoved down. Knowing that in some way, this was Steve’s poor excuse. “I’m not Nancy Wheeler. Okay? I’m not gonna sit back and let the boy I love waste potential in a place that doesn’t deserve him.” you glared. “And in case you can’t tell, the others are all grown up now. They’re in high school, Robin is following up right after me in graduating. What happens when they’re all gone, Steve? Is that the time you figure out you wanna be with me?”

Steve circled back towards you, finger pointing over at you. “That’s not fair for you to say. You know I want you, God, it’s literally the one thing that’s been consistent since I met you. Why can’t you understand that me being here doesn’t mean I’m not with any plans of my own, huh? Why is it automatically your way or nothing?”

Tears welled up in your eyes the longer you stared at Steve. “Then tell me!” you cried out. Frustrated that you pushed him into thinking things had to go your way. “Tell me what it is you want! Because as far as I know it just sounds like excuses to not be with me!”

“I thought I made that clear a while ago. I want you, dammit!” he yelled, moving to gently place his hands on your shoulders. “Please, can we just pause this? I need some time to figure this out. Can we... can we take a break from this?"

You held your breath. Not quite ready to have Steve be so suddenly upset from all this. You couldn’t help but think back to what Jonathan warned you about. Steve wasn’t ready to leave this place. Even if you didn’t understand, it didn’t change how he felt. No matter how much you wished it would.

“What’s gonna change in the next six months, Steve? We fall even harder for each other and break up then? When are we finally gonna stop going in circles over this and realize we’re on different paths?”

“Different paths?” he asked softly, confusion over his face.

“Yeah,” you sniffled. “Different paths..”

His jaw slacked a bit and you tried to keep your composure tough but the realization is hitting harder than you thought it would. Before you know it, your vision of Steve is suddenly blurred by your tears and you’re swaying in place to keep from running back in the house to burst into a sob.

“Honey..”

“I think we want different things, Steve. I want to explore, grow, and I thought we'd do that together. But if you can't leave Hawkins..then I need to understand that I can't ask you to." Wiping at your eyes, your sight cleared up to catch his expression mirrored the same anguish you felt inside.“I never meant to push this choice onto you. Not when you weren’t ready. I want you to want things with me. But if you aren’t ready then I need to let you go..”

“Please,” he pleaded, “I love you.”

"I love you too," you whispered, ignoring the ice that was gripping onto your heart at the moment. "But if we keep this same argument months later..who knows what might happen. We might even grow to hate each other..”

He reached for your hand, desperation in his eyes as he pulled you closer. "We can work this out. We've been through so much worse than this."

"I know, but this is different," you said softly, pulling your hand away gently. "I feel like we both need to figure ourselves out.”

"I don't want to lose you," he pleaded, voice cracking.

"I don't want to lose you either," you admitted, tears streaming down your cheeks. "But I need to move forward. And I don’t think I can do that when I know there’s going to be pain in the future.”

He looked broken as he watched you take a step back. Hand twitching out to you before he brought it down to his side. "What... what do you want me to do?"

The words felt like knives, but they needed to be said. "I need you to let me go too, Steve..”

His eyes glistened with unshed tears, his silence speaking volumes. "So this is it?" he finally whispered. “After everything we’re just..over?”

“Please, Steve.” you pleaded softly. “Let me go too.”

his hand reached up to cup your cheek, his gaze searching into yours. "This is what you really want?" You nodded, feeling a lump form in your throat.

"Yes."

His lips met yours in a tender, bittersweet kiss, filled with all the love, and heartache that lingered between the two of you. It was a goodbye in itself, a lingering moment that you wished would go on for an eternity.

When you pulled back, you carefully reached up to return the necklace, feeling like you were the person least deserving to wear his sign of love. But Steve quickly reached out to stop your hands. Shaking his head as he carefully readjusted it on you.

“I’m– it’s yours. Regardless if we break up or not.”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you clutched the necklace tightly. "Steve..."

"Please," he insisted softly. "You wanted me to make some decisions for myself? You keeping that is one of them.”

With a heavy heart, you watched as Steve stepped away from you. Hand reaching up to pinch at the side of his nose as he tried to conceal his emotions from coming through. It took everything in you to let him return back to his car.

You thought back to what Jonathan had said about doing what your heart thought was right. Even if it was to the disappointment of others.

Little did you know it’d be you who was disappointed in the end.

JANUARY (THREE WEEKS LATER)

It had been a long dead night over at Family Video. The soft radio playing from the speakers was the only noise between you and Robin for the past hour. Something you were a little grateful for considering the awkwardness that came in when you first clocked in for your night shift.

It was three weeks since that night in the driveway and things within your small group of friends had turned painfully stagnant. Whether it be from your three week reclusive approach, or Steve’s avoiding one. No one knew how to handle the break up. Hell, neither one of you would so why would your friends be able to?

But along with the sadness between you and Steve came the awkwardness with Robin. Stuck between being friends with the both of you. It wasn’t until a couple of days ago that she had slipped up about knowing the details of everything that happened. Causing your walls to momentarily come up around her.

But that happened over a week ago and you were really trying not to push away one of your newer friends all because of a bad breakup. Robin was nice to you before even knowing Steve personally. So with that in mind, you tried your best the whole night to be friendlier. Or as friendly as you could be. But that didn’t mean it was going to be easy.

Robin had restocked the snacks, you organized the return tapes, and then lastly the two of you worked together to set up a promo spot for tomorrow’s movie selections, All in record timing. Once Robin noticed you were slowly opening up again, she seemed to be keen to make up for the few awkward hours before.

“I don’t know how I feel about Weird Science.” Robin sighed, looking over the stack of movies facing the door. You set down the clipboard with the list of things to order for tomorrow to go join her on the other side of the counter.

“I know. But, considering we’ve got Fright Night and Teen Wolf up, it’s at least keeping with the whole sciencey-horror theme.”

“There’s absolutely nothing horror to do with Weird Science.” Robin scoffed as she adjusted one of the boxes, scrunching her nose over at the mini poster for Teen Wolf. “Keith’s gonna kill us.”

“It can be considered scary if you’re bad at Science?” you tried, looking back over to her. She had a knowing look on her face that had your confidence in the set up crumpling. “Okay, he might. But just say I did it.”

“Right.” she snorted. “It’s not like he’d ever tell you anything anyway.”

Reaching back for the stock list, you go over all the candies once more before sighing. It’s been a slow night and you weren’t looking forward to another hour here. But this was the life of a working teen and you were oddly still putting up with it.

Robin, who was quietly tidying up around the register, suddenly let out a loud gasp. “Oh no!” she said, reaching down the counter for her bag. You quickly left the candy area to join back at her side. Looking at her worriedly.

“What’s wrong?”

She pulled out a miniature calendar from her bag. Flipping through the pages rapidly until she landed on one with scribbled notes on it. “I completely forgot to write up the assignment needed for the Terminator’s class.”

The familiar name amused you momentarily before you glanced over her shoulder to see the circled date. “Shit.” you frowned, “How many pages do you need?”

“Just three, but I barely had my notes put together yesterday.” she looked through her bag for another notebook before flipping through them for a certain spot. “God I’m gonna have to pull an all-nighter after this.”

Glancing at your watch, you wince at the late hour. “You need more time.”

She ignored you momentarily to push back the notebook and calendar into her bag before coming back up. Biting her lip in worry. You couldn’t help but feel bad for your friend. Feeling the familiar panic of academic stress. Pushing the phone towards her, you nudge for her to take the receiver. “Call Steve to pick you up. Then at least you can get started sooner.”

“What?” she gaped, looking at the clock on the back wall. “No, I-I can’t do that! You’d be by yourself.”

“It’s fine, Robin.” you reassured her, pushing the handle into her hands. “Steve will get here fast, and you’ll at least get a big enough head start and maybe catch some hours of sleep before school.”

“No,” she shook her head. “I wouldn’t feel right leaving you by yourself. What if some creepy guy comes in and murders you?”

You stood still blinking over at her. Wondering why she’d mention something so creepy at a time like this. “Not that I needed that new fear, but I’ll be safe. I’m a big girl.” You take the base of the phone, dialing the number practically engraved in your mind before pushing it to her ear. “What I do need is for you to study. So get to begging.”

There’s a moment of worry on her face before the sound of Steve’s voice perked up through the phone. She thankfully gets the idea of you not backing down from your offer and asks Steve to come take her home. You give her a thumbs up and get the area ready to close off. Needing the distraction from the inevitable moment of seeing Steve again for the first time in days.

Robin helped too. Making sure the windows and backdoors were all checked and locked before joining you back in the front. It was only a couple of minutes before the headlights of Steve’s car shined through the store.

A part of you hated the idea of being alone. It was going to be creepy. But the sight of Steve stepping out of his car, hand combing through his lush hair, made you want more than ever for Robin to get out of here. The sound of the door ringing open snapped you into averting your gaze from the boy and you quickly meddled with the few papers in front of you to keep your focus on.

“Hey, you guys ready to go?”

“Uh, it’s just me, actually.” Robin said, grabbing her bag. “Henderson is gonna wait out till closing and for her Aunt to pick her up.”

Without even having to look up, you knew that Steve’s eyes were on you now. It was like a magnetic pull that he still had on you. But you couldn’t look up just yet. Not when you knew what kind of face he’d be giving you right now. “Is that true?” he asked softly.

“Uhh, yeah, I was gonna call her in twenty minutes and let her know.” you coughed, face down. The sound of his keys jingling was oddly loud, but not as loud as the sound of your heart beat.

Before you knew it, Steve moved to stand in front of you at the counter. Forcing you to finally make eye contact with him. His eyes were etched with the same worry that looked at you the night in your driveway. You tried not to visibly recoil from the ache that burst into your chest.

“I could come back for you.” he offered softly. A small bit of confidence in his voice.

“That’s fine, Steve. I’ll get home.”

“I’m serious,” he frowned. “I could just come back. You’d be able to close up and maybe get some–”

“NO.” you said quickly, having to physically take a step back. There’s a flicker of hurt over Steve’s face and he’s balled up the fist holding onto his keys. You can’t help but feel like how it was that second year here when you were cruel to him on purpose. Pushing him away from having still been mad at him.

You didn’t feel good then and you don’t feel good now.

“I’ll be fine,” you said more nicely after a minute of awkward silence. “You should take her home..she really needs the extra time.”

He glanced over at Robin, giving her a questioning look, but all she did was mouth a please to him before he nodded his head. Backing away from the counter almost defeatedly. “Be safe.” he said softly, shuffling over towards the front door.

Taking that as a leaving cue, Robin picked up her bag from the counter. Reaching over to place her hand over yours as she threw you a sympathetic smile. “I owe you a million for this. Call me later so I know you’re okay?”

“A million and one.” you said softly, trying to smile back. But with Steve’s presence there you’re sure it’s more wincing than you wished. “I’ll call you.” you added.

The two make their leave after that agreement. Quietly making their exit from the store while you stayed over at the counter. They quickly enter the car, leaving you and family video alone for the rest of the night.

Thirty minutes later and you’re done with the store being dead. If Keith wanted to get mad at you for closing early, then he could pout about it in the office tomorrow. Right now, all you wanted was to get into your bed and try not to think about the haunting brown eyes that looked at you with such concern tonight.

Picking up the phone, you made an attempt to reach out to someone at home. But with your Aunt possibly still out and Dustin most likely hanging out with your friends, there’s no one there to answer your call. You’re suddenly filled with panic of how the hell you’re getting out of here.

A part of you thinks it might be fine to just call Steve. It’s not like he’d be upset since he was so adamant before. But even the short car ride home would be long enough for that horrible pain to come back in and you didn’t think you could handle that. Nor did you want to put Steve through that either.

Looking at your watch, you realize you’ll at least be able to make the last bus for the night if you close up now.

Rushing to the back, you make a move to grab your jacket and purse, ready to lock up and get the hell out of here. But before you could grab the keys, you could hear the sound of the door’s bell jingle.

“Dammit!” you whispered to yourself. Of course tonight you’d still have to deal with annoying customers. Turning off the light in the room, you grab the keys and slowly enter back into the front. “Uh hey, sorry but we’re actually closing up–”

The sight of an empty front desk killed off your words instantly.

“Hello?” you called out. Taking a small hesitant step, you enter the counter booth and try to peer out into the store. There isn’t a soul in the place.

Biting your lip, you reached over to the phone on the counter. Unsure of who’d you’d even cal-

“Lovely night, isn’t it?”

You let out a small yelp, grabbing the clipboard near you and swatting it to the direction of the mysterious voice.

“OW!”

Peeking your eyes open, you’re welcomed to the sight of Eddie rubbing the side of his head. A glare on his face as he looked over at you.

“Is that how you greet all your customers?” he chided.

Setting down the clipboard, you use your hands to lean against the counter. Getting in some air to help calm you down before you looked back up at Eddie again. This time you used your hand to slap at his arm.

“OKAY! Really?!” he asked as he moved to rub his hand.

“Yes, Eddie, really! Why the hell did you come in and scare me like that?”

“Scare you?” he scoffed. “I said it was a nice night!”

Frowning, you crossed your arms over your chest. “Oh yeah? And so sneaking up behind me as I called out to a totally empty store didn’t make you think I’d freak out?”

“I thought you’d enjoy a different kind of greeting.”

Sighing, you turned away from Eddie, ignoring his presence momentarily so that you could finish up all that you needed before you’d eventually push him out. Even if you were about to have a heart attack, you’d still make it in time to catch that bus.

“So I’m bored tonight.” Eddie yawned out, moving to stand in front of the counter before you. Unaware that you’ve moved on to closing up rather than waiting around.

“How fun.” you replied back, collecting the inventory papers together.

He tapped his hands against the counter, looking over the place before the VHS display caught his attention. “None of these go together.” he snorted, picking up one of the tapes. “Weird Science wasn’t even scary.”

“I wasn’t going for scary.” you muttered, reaching out to grab the tape from his hands to set out on the counter. “I was going for..sciencey-horror..ish.”

“Ish?” he smirked. “When did they bring in that genre?”

“They brought it in just for Family Video, didn’t you know?” you shrugged.

He reached over for the copy of Fright Night next. Reading the back description out loud to himself before his gaze returned back on you. “Got a thing for vamps?”

“Nah, but that Chris Sarandon is kinda hot.” you said quickly as you grabbed the tape and scanned it into the checkout before Eddie could change his mind. “Will that be all tonight?”

He finally caught on to how rushed you were making things. Dramatically, he spun around to look around the store as if he had a line of people waiting behind him.

“Are you trying to kick me out, Princess?”

“Yes!” you laughed, waving your hand out for him to pass over the rental fee. “If I close the store now I can catch the last bus home.”

Reaching into his pockets, he pulled out a couple of crumpled up dollar bills for you. “Why the hell are you taking the bus this late? It’s not safe.”

You want to tell him because a giant flesh monster scrunched your car up into a ball last summer. But since that wasn’t an option, you settled for the semi truthful answer. “Because I have no car and need to get home.”

He watched in silence as you flattened out the crumbled money before adding it to the registry. You noticed that he’s given more than needed and figure he’s already prepaying for his inevitable late fee.

“So..why don’t I just give you a ride home?”

You waited until you closed the register before looking over at him. There was a bit of pink to his cheeks and you wondered how someone who had this usual odd confidence could be nervous about offering a ride.

“You know, Robin warned me about creepy guys coming in tonight.” you teased, watching as his face turned from nervous to shock.

“Offering a ride constitutes me being creepy now?”

“Probably.” you laughed as you watched Eddie cross his arms over his chest. “Besides, I wouldn’t want to be a bother to your night anyway. You were probably coming in to grab a movie and head home.”

“It’d be an honor to drive you home, Henderson. Lord knows I gotta work on doing the whole nice friend thing.”

“Oh and we’re friends suddenly?”

“It’s what I’d call us.”

Quickly, you closed up the computer, shutting it down so that you can end the night finally. “You kinda have to know a thing or two about each other before you can say you’re friends.” you pointed out before reaching down to grab your stuff.

“You know a lot about me.”

“Like?”

He tapped at the cover of the tape smiling at you. “That I got a thing for vamps too.” he winked, making you roll your eyes. “Besides, what better way to get to know each other better than with a nice ride home?”

You let out a small sigh, unsure what the hell you were just about to agree to. But if he was cool enough to hang out with Dustin and his friends. Then you shouldn’t dwell too much on the simple favor. Right?

“It wouldn’t be trouble for you?”

“You’re trouble, that’s for sure.” he chuckled. “But the ride isn’t.”

The words sound all too familiar to you and you can’t help but blink a couple of times over at him. He’s not aware of the history of that nickname, and you hold back on telling him in favor of nodding your head.

“Let’s head out then.” you said instead.

The next five minutes are left with you closing up the store with Eddie closely behind you. Talking about his recent venture out to Indianapolis for the weekend and how he’s excited to finally finish up the school year, again.

Oddly, you found yourself actually enjoying his company. It was sort of light spirited and completely free of problems. Something you haven’t had in a while. The only downside was playing down events that took part in the time you’ve dealt with the upside down. Like how you became close to Nancy and Jonathan. Or why Billy’s break up with you was a bigger deal and the fight he had with Steve. Or the damn mall fire. Everything had to be vague, but Eddie didn’t seem to mind. He actually enjoyed talking less about the heavy stuff and focusing instead on the more fun.

It was nice not to really think of the stresses you were bound to have this year and focus on silly things. Like what sort of bands Eddie listened to.

“So Iron Maiden isn’t a cool rock band led by girls?”

“It’s like you’re musically inept outside of pop.” Eddie laughed as he parked his car just on the street of your house. You couldn't help but laugh at his reaction before you shrugged your shoulders.

“It’s not all pop. I like rock too.”

“Really? You like rock. Like who?”

“Joan Jett.” you said simply after thinking it over for a second. “She’s got killer makeup, great voice, good music. I love her songs. ” He raised a brow at you, almost waiting out to see if you were fibbing or not.

“She is pretty cool.” he agreed eventually before slapping gently at the wheel. “All right, that settles it. The Henderson family is officially a lot cooler than I expected.”

“Oh?” you laughed. “You’re just figuring this out now?”

“Not to mention you’re all so humble too.”

You playfully slapped his shoulder. “Don’t you forget it.” you smirked, reaching down to grab your bag from the floor. “Thank you for the ride and music lesson. I guess that means people from the Munson family are a lot nicer than I expected.”

“Ahh, that stings a little.” he laughed, shaking his head. “But honestly, I think you should just say that the Munson family are nice to people like you.”

“People like me?” you frowned, unsure what he meant exactly by that. “Care to elaborate?”

“I would,” he said as he glanced towards your driveway. “But it’s late and a gentleman should never keep a lady from getting some sleep.”

“Suddenly you’re a gentleman?”

“Get out of my van.” he deadpanned, waving you off. “Here I am trying to charm you and you’re throwing me off with your quips.”

With a giggle you climbed down from the seat, ready to close the door after you when suddenly a thought came into mind. “Maybe we can hang out again?” you said softly, unsure of where you were going with this offer. “You can tell me what kind of person I’m like and maybe show me more of those groups you wouldn’t shut up about?”

Eddie’s chest rose as he quickly sucked in some air. His brown eyes widened in shock before he quickly changed his face back to his familiar smile. “And you’d be okay hanging out with a creep like me?”

“Wouldn’t be my first time.”

He seemed to question that answer before he shrugged his shoulders. “You got a deal. I’ll uh, see you soon then.” He held up the VHS tape with a small smile. “That is if Chris Sarandon doesn’t get me.”

“Oh that’s terrible.” You laughed, finding humor in his cheesy words. But instead of being embarrassed, he only grinned wider. Like that was the reaction he was looking for.

“As long as it’s gotcha laughing.” He winked before changing the gear in his car. “Till next time, Princess!”

You waved him off, waiting until he was turned around and back on the street before making your way up the driveway to your house. It’s odd but you found that you’re smiling genuinely about something for the first time in weeks. And it’s because of Eddie Munson of all people. Making a new friend must have been the thing you needed right now. Especially when you thought about how much you’d be laughing when you got to hang out with him again.

“Your Aunt’s car looks a lot like Eddie Munson’s van.” said a voice suddenly, disrupting your thoughts.

It scared you a bit. Causing you to let out a small gasp as your head snapped towards the direction of the noise.

At your house stood Steve. Back resting against the front door with his head hung to keep his gaze downward and off from you. The gravel beneath your feet was the only noise as you slowly made your way over.

“What are you doing here?” you asked slightly out of breath. Your composure was calm but the sight of Steve standing there had you feeling anxious.

“I drove by your house and noticed no one was home..was worried you’d still be stuck at the store.”

“Oh.”

He pushed himself off the wall, closing the rest of the gap that kept you two apart. On his face was a look you weren’t quite place. Was it anger? Disappointment? Worry? Jealousy?

“I could’ve come back for you.”

“Steve..” you sighed. He held up a hand, shaking his head as he seemingly tried to calm himself down.

“We wouldn’t have had to talk. It could have been just a ride. You’d have never needed to talk to Eddie Munson or get a ride from him.”

There’s a hint of disdain the way he dragged out Eddie’s name and you couldn’t help but sigh again. This was something you had worried about when Dustin had started to hang out with Eddie. The two were close these days. With how long that ridiculous game took, it’d be crazy for them to not have bonded by now. And while you knew deep down that your cousin could hold strong friendships with everyone. Steve did not.

For a short while, Dustin was the closest thing he had to a best friend before Robin came into the picture. But the very idea of Steve hating a simple ride from Eddie threw you off.

“He came to rent a movie right when I tried calling home. Okay?” you crossed your arms, tilting your head a bit. “He’s a nice guy..he offered the ride when I told him I didn’t have a car.”

“But I could have come. I would have.”

“I didn’t want you to come.” You said slowly watching again as the bitter truth caused the hurt cut across Steve’s face. “We haven’t been alone in weeks. The silence would only make things..painful.”

His head dropped quickly to look back to the ground while you wrapped your arms around yourself. This wasn’t the kind of shit you wanted to add to Steve’s list of problems. The break up was hard..period. But no matter how you go about things, you can’t stop this pain from coming in.

“I just wanted to make sure you were safe..”

“I know..thank you.”

He looked back up and raised a hand. Almost like he was going to reach out for you. And while you were dying to feel the touch of his skin again, doing that would probably only make things harder on the two of you. So without another thought, you took a step back from him.

His hand dropped quickly, stuffing into his pocket while he covered up his face with his other hand. Rubbing at the corners of his nose before he turned his gaze back towards the road. There was a glazed sort of look in his eyes.

“Right, so you’re here. I’ll just uh, head back home.”

You’re about to nod your head, but Steve didn’t even get the chance to see as he quickly turned and dashed away from your side. Moving towards the direction of the driveway. The sight of his retreating figure only hurt your chest even more as your thoughts were plagued with all the things he must be thinking right now.

The night of Tina’s Halloween party came into mind. The way he looked driving you home after hearing the truth from Nancy’s drunken confession. Before you know it, you’re chasing after him.

“Steve?” you called out when you reached close to his backside. He spun around quickly, almost bumping into you and causing you to fall back. But he quickly reached out to catch you. Cradling you close to his side until you were able to get your footing right.

“Are you alright?” He asked, checking over you before he let go. His eyes were red and even if it weren’t cold you’d know it was from how he was probably feeling right now.

Reaching out, you couldn’t help but cup at his cheek. Watching as his eyes slipped close from the relaxing touch. It’s been weeks since either of you have been able to share this kind of comfort. An intimate moment that you shouldn’t be having with him. Not when things were already so hard. But just because things were over doesn’t mean the need to make sure Steve was okay could go away so easily. Especially when in moments like this, when he still meant the world to you.

“I need time.” you said quickly, ignoring the worried voice in your head.

“Time?” he asked softly, eyes opening slowly to look down at you. The pad of your thumb brushed over his cheek and you could feel the warmth underneath. Your mind replays a supercut of all the moments you’ve felt that cheek. Kissing, against your own, against your body.

God this was a mess. You were a mess.

“I need time to feel comfortable around you again..I need to get over you, Steve. But I can’t do that if you’re still trying to be my hero..”

“Hero.” he chuckled sadly, shaking his head from your gip. The brim of his eyes were red and he looked suddenly tired. “Never really did a good job of that, huh? Guess I’m supposed to be just your coworker now?”

For a second you couldn’t speak. Only shaking your head no as you tried to reassure him that what he was thinking wasn’t true. He was everything to you. He could never be anything as casual as a coworker. But at the moment, you didn’t know what you could call Steve. He wasn’t your boyfriend, nor your enemy, and friend felt wrong.

“You’re just..Steve.”

His throat bobbed. Like that was the worst answer he was expecting. And though you wanted to reach out again and pull him close, you couldn’t. Because this was just how things had to be. Just the two of you stuck in this limbo of love and loss.

“Right,” he said after a minute. “Just..Steve.”

You opened your mouth, ready to apologize if what you said came off worse than you thought. But Steve quickly caught onto that and held a hand up, waving you off a bit. “I get it.” he said a bit curtly. “I’ll see you around, Hone–Troub– Henderson.”

Again he’s gone from your side without a proper look at your reaction. He practically sprinted over to his car across the street, not once turning back. It was only a second after he pushed himself into his seat that his car was revving to life and leaving the block.

You waited out until you couldn’t see the taillights of his car before you forced yourself inside the house.

The usual warmth of your home wasn’t welcoming at all. All it reminded you was how cold you were feeling and no matter what, nothing could thaw out this permafrost that surrounded your heart. The empty house taunted you with the loneliness you were feeling.

That’s because you’re alone now. (Tick)

“I’m not alone.” you whispered softly, making your way to your room.

You will be. (Tock)

FEBRUARY (VALENTINE’S DAY)

It’s four weeks after that night in front of your house that you found yourself with Eddie Munson again. The two of you have changed simple hang outs into make outs,then into something else you couldn’t quite place. This night in particular, you found yourself knocking on his trailer door after work.

“Fuck, don’t stop.” Eddie groaned.

The two of you were sitting on the dingy couch. Some loud tv show playing in the background as you straddled Eddie’s strong thigh. It’s been like this for a while now. What was originally just a chance to makeout with someone you trusted on Valentine’s day. Turned into Eddie flirting with you and you eventually feeling the need to make up for his lack of dating life.

It was Valentine’s day and you had unfortunately worked the night shift over at Family Video. Something you would have been pissed about last year. But considering the current changes in your love life, you didn’t have the room to be too upset. Especially when you found out you worked with Robin. That gave the two of you five hours to complain about how complicated love was.

Kind of like how your relationship with Eddie had turned from friends to..complicated.

“God, you’re so whiny.” you smirked, pausing the movements of your hands. You glanced down to his lap, getting another look at the size of Eddie’s cock. It was red and hard against the base of his stomach. Weeping from the tip from the few strokes you had given him. It was only the second time you’ve done this with Eddie and you’re still stunned by how he gets from a simple handjob.

“Shut up.” he gritted, letting his head sag back against the couch. “If you’d have any idea how good you are at this, you’d be just as desperate too.” The ego boost does something to you, and you quickly lean in to press your lips roughly against his. Causing the boy to let out a loud groan before he fought back.

The kiss was so different from your past boyfriends. Billy had always been so dominant, taking what he wanted without thinking too much if you liked it or not. Steve’s was sweet, hot, and romantic. As if it were the last kiss on Earth. And Eddie’s was fierce. Like he wanted you to remember him hours later.

The tip of his tongue poked through your lips, brushing against yours as he deepened the kiss. His hand went down from your neck to grab at your hips. Pulling you closer into his lap. It made your head spin a bit but you pulled back enough to tighten your grip around his cock. Picking up the pace with your wrist. During times like this, Eddie never lasted long. He was already riding high from just kissing, and with the added teasing he’d never make it long.

His other arm moved to grip at your thigh. Digging his fingers with every jerk that his hips gave as he reached closer to his climax. He jerked his leg up, giving you a slight sensation between your legs as you straddled him. While small, the touch was stimulating enough to have your eyes fluttering a bit. It’s been a while since you’ve really let anyone get you this aroused but you’re finding it hard not to roll your hips.

“That is, princess.” he cooed, making your face get a hot flush. “Let me make you feel good.”

The dirty words had your head spinning a bit and you pulled back enough to stick your face into his neck. Sucking lightly against the vein on his neck while continuing to jerk your wrist. Eddie’s breathing began to grow louder.

“Yes, fuck, please don’t stop.” Eddie rasped, letting the wrecked voice send a chill up your back. It pleased you to know you had this boy at the mercy of your hands. Moving your hand and wrist faster now in order to work him over. You made sure to use your long nails at the sensitive skin of his cock, causing Eddie to whimper whenever it was dragged closer to his slit.

He moved to rest his face against your neck, pressing soft kisses at your skin while his other hand moved to cup at your breast. The only material keeping him from touching your warm skin being the bra you managed to keep on during his fondling earlier.

The gentle squeezing plus the ridge on his thigh you were rolling on hit just the right spot to have you letting out a moan yourself. Unfortunately, with how close Eddie was, there wasn’t going to be a chance for you to come with him.

“Come for me, Ed.” you whispered into his ear, another shudder falling from him. Stopping your rolling, you gave the base of his cock one good squeeze before jerking at a quicker pace.

The base of his member twitched in your hands and when Eddie let go of your breast, you watched in awe as he gripped to your hips, focusing down at your movements before he let out a loud guttural moan.

Ropes of white hot cum began to shoot out from the slit of his cock, coating your hand as you carefully continued with the jerking motion. It wasn’t until you watched as Eddie’s head fell back from ecstasy that you gently let go of him.

The mess before you doesn’t help with your sudden unattended arousal, but you remove yourself anyway. Quietly letting him know you were going to clean yourself off. The water quickly washed away all the remnants of your night and you quickly glanced up to fix up your appearance. The sight of your necklace quickly stole your attention.

The small single ‘S’ sitting on the middle of your chest brought a pang of guilt to your chest. You hadn’t taken off the necklace since the night Steve gave it to you. Something that was probably wrong considering what you were just doing with Eddie. But wearing it brought you a sense of comfort that you couldn’t bring yourself to give up.

After you got yourself together, you emerged from the bathroom to find Eddie was still on the couch. He was tucked back in his pants but still with the belt unbuckled as he continued to catch his breath. A small snicker fell past your lips and you quickly covered your mouth when his eyes turned to look over at you.

“It’s not funny.” he frowned, trying not to smile at your amusement. “I’m literally a mess and you’re looking over at me with that goofy grin on your face.”

“My face is never goofy.” you said as a matter of fact, hand reaching up to gently hold onto the necklace. “If anything, it’s your position that’s goofy.”

Eddie held a hand up, pretending to mimic your voice through his hand while you moved towards the couch. It was a struggle to find your sweater amongst the mess of the room, especially when you just threw it behind you earlier. But before you could bend over to pick up the item, Eddie had climbed up from the couch to you.

Placing his hands gently at your hips so that he could have you face him. “Let me make you feel good, Princess. I know you didn’t get to come.” he said softly, rubbing his thumbs on the bare expanse of your stomach.

It hurt to look up into Eddie’s eyes. They were warm and so full of a genuine interest in you. Like you were the only person he cared to look at. It made moments like this confusing. Where your mind knew that this would make you feel right and move on, but something in your heart made it hard to follow through it.

Letting go of the necklace, you reached out to cup the side of Eddie’s face. Letting your thumb brush across the apple of his cheek before you gently pressed a kiss. “I’m fine.” you said softly, getting out of his grip to reach for the sweater. From the side of your eyes, you could see that Eddie was watching you as you pulled the material over your head.

From his calmness you knew where this conversation was going to go. It’s not the first time Eddie’s pointed out an offer nor would it likely be his last.

“Hey,” he coughed softly, shuffling awkwardly closer so he could rest a hand against your arm. “I didn’t mean to put you off.” Calmly you moved over to place yours on top, rubbing soothingly in hopes to get that worried look off his face.

“It’s okay.” you said softly, not really having the courage to tell him what you were thinking. “Like I said, I’m fine with what we’re doing now.”

Eddie reached out and gently brushed a hair away from your face. “Are you?” he asked slowly. “Or..are you I don’t know, nervous? I mean shit, I’m more than grateful for what we do now..and labels are shit. But if you’re wanting to be something more official in order to feel comfortable doing more then I’m more than happy to–”

“I like us being friends, Eddie.” you cut in. Scared for what words might come out next. You weren’t ready for that kind of talk. “Even if what we’re doing is not the most normal thing friends do. I like just hanging out and having fun.”

There’s a flicker of something in Eddie’s eyes. Like he might have wanted a different answer. But he threw you his signature goofy smile and leaned in to press a mushy, rough kiss to your lips. Causing you to laugh against his hold.

“Sounds good to me, Princess. Now I’ve kept you stuck in this dump long enough. You should probably head off home.”

You turned your watch over, noting that while it was a little bit late, it wasn’t the worst you’ve come home at. But since Eddie’s Uncle might be coming home soon, it’d probably be easier to leave now than stick around and dance around the friends with semi benefits relationship.

“I’ll see you later, Eddie. You rest up.” you smiled, taking a step back from him. He chuckled at that, waving you off as you quickly made your way out the trailer door. The residents of Forest Hills trailer park were quiet that night. A dark and eerie chill going up your spine as you made your way over to your Aunt’s car. Across the way you glanced towards Max’s trailer.

The majority of her lights were all off aside from one flickering light from the main front window. Things had been rough for her lately. Ever since her stepdad took off and her Mother started working two jobs just to keep a roof over their heads. Things haven’t been the easiest. Especially with the sudden downsizing in lifestyle.

You wished you could make things easier. But honestly, you didn’t have much you could say to Max that you thought would make her feel better. The events of the summer battle caught up to her and she began to close everyone off. Including you.

She was protecting herself from others. Every approach was met with a cold wall that you couldn’t crack. No matter what you or her friends did, she was a different girl now. She was here in Hawkins but her mind was somewhere else. And if you were being honest, you’d say that you were starting to feel the same.

Your mind was busy focusing on other things like school, work, and your new thing with Eddie. But your heart wasn’t in it. Not the way it should be. It was permanently stuck in a loop of being unable to enjoy the new life you were making for yourself. All because of a boy in Loch Nora who still had power over it.

Which was where you were now.

Through the lush houses of the neighborhood and up the driveaway of the path that led to the Harrington household. You’ve been there so many times, but for the first ever you’re nervous to be there. You shouldn’t be here.

And you definitely shouldn’t be getting out of the car to walk to the front door. And you really shouldn’t be knocking..

It only took Steve about a minute to come up to the door. He was more cleaned up since the last time you saw him. His hair was a little shorter, and there was a noticeable little bit of stubble on his lips. Almost like he’s debating whether or not to grow a mustache or not. It’s kind of nice..

“Hey, you okay?” Steve asked worriedly. His brown eyes looked over your body, almost like he was checking to make sure you weren’t hurt. It was a little embarrassing. You didn’t mean to make him come down to the door, let alone be suddenly worried about you.

“I’m sorry…I just ended up here.” you whispered finally. Not really able to think of a better excuse to say. “I should go.”

He quickly stopped you by reaching out for your hand. It’s almost like an electric shock to have such contact from him again but you don’t dare let go of his warmth just yet.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” you shook your head. “I just wanted to–”

“See me?” He asked softly.

You look at him for a long time. Feeling such an overwhelming amount of unsurety. Steve was someone who managed to wedge himself into your trust again. He earned it. But right now you were finding yourself struggling to be fully open to him. The thoughts running through your head were leading to a place where you two couldn’t go down. Not when things were so different now.

“It’s Valentine’s day,” you said lamely, wincing a bit at the dumb words that quickly came into mind. “D-did you go out?..”

“You drove all the way over to my house to ask me that?”

“..yes.” you lied, not needing him to know it was more like an impulsive need to see him tonight than some random inquiry.

Steve looked a little bit taken back. Probably not quite believing the answer, but eventually went ahead and nodded his head. “Yeah,” he said honestly, to your heart’s dismay. “Uh, with Molly Stevens. I knew her from school last year.”

Nodding your head, you tried to control the jealousy that started to fill up in your throat. You have absolutely no right to feel this way about Steve. None whatsoever. But the very idea of him out with another girl brought up such a venom to your throat.

“Did you guys..” you waved your arms in front of you in a mindless motion. Stupidly unable to speak the words you’re dreading to hear. Steve looked only slightly amused as he crossed his arms over his chest like he’s caught you in your lie. The dark green shirt looked tight on his biceps, distracting you from that fact very quickly.

“No.” he answered simply. “Didn’t feel right.”

“Right.” you nodded, letting out a small sigh of relief. “That’s um..good. I mean, not good but it’s um—“

“And what about you?” He interrupted, raising a brow to you. “Did you go out?”

“I worked tonight..”

He turned his wrist over, frowning down at the time his watch displayed to him. “It’s eleven thirty. Store closed at ten.”

“I may have..gone to hang out with a friend.”

“With Eddie.” he corrected.

“Yes.”

His lips pursed a bit before he took a step closer to you. Pushing your back to rest against the threshold of his door. “And did you guys..?”

“No, not that.” You said evenly, gauging his reaction. “..but something like it.”

For a moment Steve looked stunned. Like the words froze him in place. Now that previous venom is turning into guilt. He didn’t even do anything besides go out on an innocent date and here you were ready to burn Hawkins to find her. Meanwhile you were the one actually doing more with another guy.

For someone that didn’t want to hurt Steve, you sure did so easily.

“I’m sorry.. I should go.” You whispered, feeling like you’ve put the guy through enough as of lately. Before you could fully turn around Steve had already reached out for your hand, keeping you in place.

The look on his face isn’t the same sad one you saw flicker moments before. It was determined now. Like he was fully trying to understand what you were saying before him. Carefully, he leaned down to press his face inches before yours. The small fan of his sigh brushed over your face.

The closeness should make you nervous. It should make you want to step back. But you’re curious to what he would say next.

“So you mess around with Munson and still end up at my doorstep?” He asked softly. There’s a slight darkness in his tone that should warn you how bad an idea this is. But again, you ignored it. “Did he not make you feel good?”

“He made me feel..fine.” you whispered back. Not sure how much you want to deep dive into whatever it is you and Eddie were doing. Turning your head up a bit, you peered up at him, placing your hand to rest gently on Steve’s chest to both keep him from getting closer and to get a chance to feel his heartbeat.

“Just fine? Not good?”

“Steve,” you sighed. “We shouldn’t be talking about this.”

But your words only encouraged him to pull you inside of his home. Keeping an arm hugging at the side of your waist as he pressed your back against the closed door. The personal space is gone out the window now that he’s able to wedge himself between your legs.

It’s painfully embarrassing how your body is instinctively trying to wrap around him. But you managed to keep your flat back against the door and legs unwrapped from his waist. But Steve seemed to be aware of your inner dilemma, moving to press himself even closer.

“He doesn’t make you feel good, honey?” He said finally, moving his face down your face to your neck.

The old nickname had your body shuddering. It’s been too long since you’ve heard it. This was definitely not the way you thought the conversation would go. But you’re struggling to find a way out of it.

“What I’m feeling isn’t your concern anymore..”

“Oh, it definitely is”. His hand slid down your waist, down to your hip, the tip of his fingers nearly diving past the waistband of your jeans. He casually rubbed his thumb underneath the hem of your shirt. “I want you feeling better than just fine.”

“Yeah?” you asked softly, moving your hands to place against his shoulders now. They were itching to wrap around his neck, but you reminded yourself to keep from making things messier. Not that Steve seemed to care as he slid closer into the small space you had before.

“I want you to feel great.” he leaned down to your ear, pressing a kiss to the spot beneath your earlobe before he finished. “Actually, I want you feeling so fucked out of your mind that you wouldn’t dare go to another man’s house after fooling around with me.”

There’s a darkness in Steve’s words but not one you’re afraid of. In fact, you’re excited. It had your heart racing and core growing so hot that you had to slightly rub your thighs together from the excitement. “Is t-that all?” you managed to ask, unable to think of a better response.

“That's all I want right now.”

It’s hard not to feel that familiar spark that fires up your body when around Steve. You were feeling embarrassingly desperate for it at this point as you pulled him down towards you. “We shouldn’t be doing this. We’re broken up for a reason..”

“It’s a bad idea.” he agreed, brushing his lips carefully down your neck. He seemed to catch the sparkle of the gold chain around your neck and followed down the line to where the S laid on your chest. He then gently placed a soft kiss against it.

“We’re being so incredibly stupid right now.” you gasped, feeling his lips graze up again.

Though the tender touches were setting a blaze to your skin, it wasn’t quite satisfying the ache growing inside of you now. In fact, it was setting your whole body into a desperate, needy, frenzy.

“I gotta be honest with you, baby.” He said calmly.

“Honest?” you gulped, failing to get yourself to cool down.

“I really don’t care if we’re being stupid.”

Something took over you and you moved your hands up to grab hold of the hair at the nape of his neck. Pulling back so that you could get a good look at him. The browns in his eyes were gone and he looked at you with such a desire that you could feel yourself get embarrassingly aroused.

You should stop this. You should push him away and leave his house. Because there had to be something more important in life than having sex with Steve Harrington right now.

But you really couldn’t remember what.

“Fuck it.” You sighed shooting forward to press your lips against his. He didn’t waste his chance at all and wrapped his arms around. Using the palms to push down your lower back to press your chest closer to him.

At some point there’s a struggle with moving past the door and breaking the kiss apart. When air was needed, Steve quickly pulled back, pressing quick pecks to your lips before he turned to drag you up the stairs. Each step had your heart beating faster as you focused your sights on the warm glow coming out his bedroom door. Anticipation washing over you for whatever was going to happen next.

Once the two of you were in, he quickly shut the door behind him with the kick of his foot. Only giving you a second to catch your breath before he rushed over to capture your lips again.

“Tell me,” he said against your lips. His hands were already working on your clothes, shedding them off with no problem. “Tell me you want this.”

“I want this.” you said pulling back, moving to cup the sides of his face. “I want you.”

For a second it looked like Steve wanted to say something else, but you pushed to press your lips back together. Capturing up any words he had in order to get back into the greedy need that had been building up.

Then after that, there’s nothing else left. Just you and Steve.

The clock besides Steve’s bed ticked softly as you lay in his arms. It’s only been a short amount of time since the two of you had your fun and you can feel how Steve is easily relaxed against you. Letting his hands rub over your bare skin while he held you close.

It should make you worried. Things between you two were over. You both made it that way. But the soft kisses he was pressing against your arm and neck were too distracting. The feeling of completeness was too good to give up so quickly. And with the way Steve keeps pausing to give you looks, you think he might be thinking the same.

What could either one of you do? It’s been such a long attempt to get over him but all you can feel is yourself falling again with every touch. If anything, you think you might be even more in love with him after this.

You think back to the night where Eddie dropped you off. It felt like Steve was done with you. But like yourself, one night of giving into each other’s needs seemed to fill you both with an urge neither of you could quite get rid of just yet.

His hand reached out to cup at the side of your face. Bringing your attention back to him again before he kissed you.

“Stay.” he said in between kissing you and down your cheek. No part of your face or body was left unscathed from his pink plump lips. You reveled in the sensation. Melting into his hold and allowing your body to relax again. It’s all you’ve missed these past few weeks. But even in Steve’s affection care, the worry of the real world sets in quickly with you.

“I can’t.” You said sadly. “It’s getting late.”

“Who cares? It’s Friday night.” he replied, kissing even more now that he realized it has some sort of effect on your emotions. “You don’t even work tomorrow, I do.”

“Your parents will be home soon, won’t they?”

“They love you. Might even wanna take you out for breakfast.” You pulled back to give him a knowing look. He smirked a little bit before he rolled his eyes. “Okay, they’d freak out, but we’ll be quiet.”

“I drove in my Aunt’s car..” you laughed, but turned to shuffle closer to him in the bed. He reached over to grab the back of your leg, moving your thigh now to drape over his waist. It brought your bare body dangerously close to his but he kept things tame for now. Moving to rub the palm of his hand on the round of your behind.

“She can get it towed.”

Rolling your eyes at his convenient answer, you pushed at his chest lightly. Attempting to get out of his warm hold but he changed to bring his arm back up to wrap around your waist, locking you in place.

“I’ll call the shop myself.”

“Steve..”

Not wanting you to continue with the inevitable truth, he pressed his lips back onto yours. Shutting up the conversation and forcing you both to enjoy this fluke of a night. You give in to him, if only for a moment.

It’s unfair how this is the most comfortable you’ve felt in days and it’s because you’re in his arms. But as soon as you begin to wonder why it’s like this, you remember how it felt to be in his arms that night. And how incredibly crushing it felt when you pulled away. So you made the kiss count until you eventually pulled away.

His lips turned down into a pout. Which you forced yourself to ignore as you rolled out of the bed. A shiver hitting over yourself when you left the comforts of his warm side. Reaching down on the ground, you gather up the forgotten pieces of clothing you two discarded when you came into the room.

By the time you’ve got your outfit presentable and ready to go, Steve has moved to sit on the edge of his bed. Only a pair of boxers covering up his body now. He extended a hand out to you and you find yourself easily slipping it inside his. You hate how it feels perfect there.

“I want you..” He said, low and soft. Like he was almost afraid to say the words out loud.

“I know,” you sighed, pulling the hand up towards your lips to press gentle kisses at his fingertips. “You always wanna go again.”

A frown flickered over his face, like he wasn’t quite looking for that answer. But he doesn’t say anything else, choosing instead to take your hand and lead you out the room and back downstairs to the front door again.

“Can I ask you something?” He asked nervously once the two of you were at the threshold.

“Yeah, of course.”

He paused for a second, looking deep into your eyes before he spoke again. “Did you come over on the pretense of having sex? Or because you really wanted to see me?”

A small pang of guilt began to build up in your chest again tonight. Reaching for his hand, you reached out to place it against your chest. Almost hoping that he’d feel the sincerity of your words through your heartbeat.

“I was thinking about you on the drive home.” you said trying not to reveal just how much you were actually thinking about him. He didn’t know the pathetic way you were still in love with him. “I didn’t even realize I had shown up here until I was at your door. It was like I needed to see you tonight.”

A small creeped on his face at your reply. He took the words as permission to press his lips against yours once more. Like always, it made your mind foggy and breath short. “Then tell your thoughts to think of me again tomorrow? Maybe after work?” he said, pulling away to return his gaze.

You should say no and remind him that tonight was a fluke. A misstep on your attempts to move on from each other. But your body is unwilling to listen to your logic and instead chooses to nod your head. Making Steve’s small smile turn into a grin that has you trying to remember when was the last time you saw it.

“Goodnight, Trouble.” He said softly, holding the door open for you.

“Goodnight.” You mumbled still a bit love-struck.

He waited at the door until you were in your car and waving off. The enticing view of Steve’s house eventually faded and you managed to get your brain working again in order to get home. The tv is playing some romance film for your Aunt and you bashfully wish her a goodnight as you floated to your bedroom. Still on the Steve induced high. It wasn’t until you flopped over your bed, brushing your fingertips over your kissed lips that Dustin decided to come in. A similar goofy grin on his face as he held out a Hershey’s kiss to you.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“You’re in a good mood.” You snorted, taking the candy. “What were you up to tonight?”

“Just got off the radio with Suzie.” He said with a dreamlike sigh. “She read out sonnets to me.”

“That’s sweet. You rode all the way up to that hill to talk to her?”

“Hill?” He snorted before he remembered. “Oh! That hill. No, Steve spent most of the night helping me set up this new ham radio in my room.”

You shot up from your bed, looking at your cousin with a confused frown. “Wait, Steve was here?” You asked. “In our house?”

“Yeah,” he confirmed. “He came around the time you left for work. Hung out with me all night until like an hour and a half ago. Didn’t even get to thank him before he dashed out of here.”

Your mind was suddenly wrecked with a thousand thoughts. Why would Steve lie about going out? Why would he invite you in after hearing about Eddie? He didn’t have to lie about going out on a date, not with you. It’s not like you’d have judged him for taking things slow. Lord know you didn’t have the right to. Was he waiting to see if you’d come home from work all this time? Did he know you’d go to his house? So many questions without any chance of an answer came to you.

“That was really nice of him...” you said softly, looking down at the candy.

“Yup. That’s Steve for ya.” he replied matter of fact. “Makes you maybe wanna consider things, right?”

Dustin’s attempt to mend the two of you hasn’t gone unnoticed these past couple of weeks. He wasn’t too aware of all the details. You and Steve never dived into it with him. Not wanting to ruin the relationship with the boy for either one of you. He was uncharacteristically neutral for the most part, but you knew that he was secretly hoping for some sort of reconciliation.

“Goodnight, Dustin.” you said instead, cutting the conversation short. He let out a big sigh before nodding his head, waving over at you before he closed up the door behind him. You kicked off your shoes, laying back onto your bed with only one thought running through your mind.

What were you going to wear tomorrow night?

A/N: HI GUYS I MISSED YOU. So sorry for the long awaited update. I struggled so hard to make this break up real but also angsty and drama filled? I don’t feel too confident in it, but there’s so much left in the season to work with so I hope you guys enjoy this.

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x henderson!reader #steve harrington x henderson reader #steve harrington x female reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x henderson reader #eddie munson x henderson!reader #eddie munson x y/n #cac #stranger things fic

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