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#but some mechanics are hard to pick up if you're new
alynnl · 2 years
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Live A Live Remake: Thoughts
It’s been roughly three weeks since I played through all of the Live A Live remake for the Switch.  It was a fun little game, just way shorter than what I’m used to.  I’m going to give my thoughts on all the different eras, as well as the final area.  Spoilers ahead, as I will be talking about all chapters and endgame!  I will be talking about every era in terms of gameplay and story.
Prehistory: Out of all of them, this one plays the most like a standard fantasy RPG.  You fight monsters to get healing items and materials to forge better weapons.  You have a party with their strengths and weaknesses, and of course a final boss showdown at the end of the chapter.
Story-wise it’s also pretty typical of RPGs.  Boy meets girl, girl has problems, boy tries helping girl and also gets into problems, girl gets captured, boy saves her, boy and his friends fight big monster, and they live happily ever after.  The twist to prehistory is that all of this is told without words and dialogue, so the story is instead told by emotes and gestures.  I thought that was a great creative decision, and it makes me believe that this is a time before words as we know them.  Pogo as a character is kind of endearing, but not gonna lie, he’s also thirsty if ya know what I mean.
Imperial China:  Gameplay wise, this one also has more of a JRPG flavor.  You have your main character, you have three others who can join your party at first, and then you have encounters that you can avoid, and items to gather.  It also plays on the “duel” mechanic some RPGs have, where there are one-on-one fights against opponents.
This one plays on a lot of kung fu movie tropes from what I can see.  You have the wise mentor and then the promising disciples, and the whole idea of what it means to be a martial artist.  There are people who use their kung fu for good reasons and bad, it all depends on the heart of the person.  The plot twist of only one disciple surviving an attack from a rival dojo (really, a gang if you think about it) was handled really well, and it’s interesting that the player has a choice and the survivor is not scripted for later replays.  The Earthen Heart Shifu himself is not portrayed as perfect and he makes mistakes, but overall he is a man who just wants his style of martial arts to live on.
The Twilight of Edo Japan: The gameplay mechanics in this one are very interesting.  It’s a mix between RPG combat and stealth, and you really have the option to pick your battles, so to say.  Then there’s a counter showing how many lives you’ve taken in battle, and even when you’re forced into a fight, there’s the option to run away.  One can do a “kill ‘em all” run, a pacifist run, or a neutral run.
Story-wise we’re given all the trappings of any Japanese fantasy.  There’s clans fighting one another, ninjas, and samurai.  (Although it’s pretty cool that the playable samurai in this one also has a gun, which is accurate for the time period!)  It’s a story about shaping Japan’s future.  Whether it’s a new dawn or storm clouds are on the horizon is up to you.  Either way, Oboromaru takes his role as a shinobi seriously and he’s determined to see his mission through.
The Wild West: I wanted to like this chapter.  I wanted to love this chapter.  But gameplay wise it was very difficult for a first-time player.  Because right after you see the cutscenes and you're introduced to the characters and the town, you have a timed mission.  That’s right, a timed mission to set traps before the boss and his cronies come, and if you don’t set enough traps correctly, you will have a monster of a boss fight on your hands.  I will be up front and say I used a guide because sometimes, that’s how you have to get things done.
Story-wise I did like this chapter though.  That’s what it’s got going for it, despite the difficulty curve.  Sundown doesn’t know any of the people in the town of Success, but he’s still willing to stop there and lend a hand and help them deal with a band of outlaws that have been terrorizing them.  There’s some back and forth between him and his rival, Mad Dog that I really enjoy, and there’s a choice you can make in the ending (to flee the last duel and spare Mad Dog) that makes it just worth it to replay at least one more time.
Present Day:  Gameplay wise, Present day is  like a fighting game.  Think Street Fighter, or Tekken but with the twist that you get to learn your opponents’ techniques if they use them on you.  I like how you get unlimited tries to do this, so that you can learn every skill your rivals have to offer (I know I wanted to get them all.)  The boss at the end is challenging enough to make it interesting, but if you picked up all the skills, he’s not unbeatable.
Story-wise, it’s fairly simple.  Masaru wants to be the strongest warrior, so  he challenges masters of various martial arts to learn from them and use their techniques.  It’s implied that he’s always going to be fighting for this title of The Strongest, as he faces another challenger immediately after the boss.  I think I get what the story was going for.  Being the best is a constant struggle, and sooner or later, someone else is going to rise to the top.
The Near Future: This one reminded me a bit of modern day Golden Sun!  You have different elemental powers that you use in battle, and you’re also able to read others’ minds and find out different flavor text from them.  There’s also a hint of Magitek gameplay when you get control of the Steel Titan later on.  All around solid, easy to pick up gameplay that sometimes makes you feel really powerful.
Plot-wise, I really enjoyed this story.  But that’s only because I love mecha in general and it fills me with a lot of nostalgia.  At first Akira isn’t sure what to do with his life and he’s sort of an outcast for the whole “reading minds” deal, but then he’s able to prove himself a hero when he finally takes control of the Steel Titan and goes to smack a corrupted God back into oblivion.  Imagine conspiring to bring back a mad god, only to have a mouthy mind-reading punk pound it with mecha.  Amazing.
The Distant Future:  Gameplay wise it’s a lot of dialogue, looking for clues, and later, running.  Essentially it plays like a futuristic survival horror.  There’s a conspiracy and it’s up to you to find clues to uncover it, all while being chased by a monster that will meet you with instant death if it touches you.  You have no weapons, just places to hide.
Story wise I swear it felt like Space Odyssey: 2001 the video game.  You have a crew who go in and out of cryo-sleep, you have inventors and you have an AI gone rogue.  There is discord among the crew and a sort of whodunit plot, and it all culminates in a confrontation with the computer OD-10, that decides it was going to murder people because they weren’t working in perfect harmony.  Cube has to fight for their life, and the lives of the two remaining survivors: their creator Kato and the soldier Darthe (who despised Cube at first but opens up to them later.)  Ultimately Cube’s story values the robot’s kindness over any physical strength or violence.
The Medieval Era: Gameplay wise you couldn’t get more standard of an RPG at first.  You’re in a fantasy medieval setting, with your main character Oersted being a knight who goes on a quest to rescue the princess Alethea from a demon lord that was defeated by a great hero in the past.  There is the “epic quest” aspect of the gameplay, traveling the world, finding party members and fighting random encounters.  Even after the plot happens and the party members dwindle, the swords and sorcery gameplay remains.
Story wise, I got spoiled.  But I was still in awe to actually see it on screen.  What I expected was a happy Dragon Quest like fantasy, where the hero saved the princess with the help of his friends and everyone lived happily ever after.  What I got instead was a Shakespearean tragedy.  In the course of the story, everyone important to Oersted either betrays him or dies, sometimes both at the same time.  All of the loss, hatred and pain leads Oersted, once champion of his realm into becoming the Lord of Dark himself, lashing out against everyone who wronged him with newfound dark power.  It is heartbreaking to see his attempts to do the right thing at every turn just backfire against him, making it almost understandable that he is driven to villainy (although hermit life could’ve also been an option and I’ll stand by that as an AU possibility.)
The Final Chapter: Plot-wise and gameplay wise, it feels very open world.  The protagonists from the different eras are brought together in the Dominion of Hate, which is just Oersted’s former kingdom brought to ruin.  Technically the only place you have to go is the dark mountain to face off against Odio (who’s completely taken over Oersted by now.)  But the different areas of the ruined kingdom and all the different trials your seven protagonists can take on really put me in mind of Ocarina of time and the Sages’ temples.  Every trial you take on gives you an ultimate weapon for that character, which is crucial to the ending.  And whoever you choose to lead the finale will personally confront Oersted after you do the true final boss battle.  There are so many different ways the final chapter could go, and each one is worth exploring.
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midnightarcheress · 6 months
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cowgirl
a little bar challenge characters: simon 'ghost' riley, john 'soap' mactavish, kyle 'gaz' garrick, john price cw: nsfw, fem!reader, tf141 lusting for their teammate, idk there's nothing much
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"i'm not going on that!" you exclaimed, crossing your arms at the man in front of you.
the buzzing of a bar after a successful mission was a familiar sound for the task force. the glasses clinking, the chatter of old and new friends, the horrible background music, and the abhorrent pick-up lines would, weirdly enough, calm your nerves after days covered in heavy gear and harboring pent-up stress. or maybe the source of your mind's serenity was just the alcohol already flowing on your bloodstream, courtesy of the three tequila shots you were - willingly - forced into drinking.
"come on, bonnie, it will be fun!" Soap said, pointing at the sign propped above the mechanical bull, "besides, ye can win the hat for us."
you scoffed, glancing at the direction the scot referred, right after seeing another contender fall to the bouncy mat under the bull, followed by a string of boo's from the watchful horde. bold red lettering stated 'break the bar's record and win a cowboy hat!', tempting drunk custumers into fooling themselves for a measly prize.
"i bet she's scared," Gaz prompted, adding fuel to Johnny's pleas, "don't wanna be mocked by the crowd."
you rolled your eyes in response, "i'm not scared, Gaz, i just don't see what all the fuss is about. why don't you do it?"
"nuh-uh, don't turn this on me, missy. you're the one being challenged here," he retorted, earning a soundful hum from Soap, "tell you this, if you manage to stay there for a full minute, i'll pay you a twenty. don't even have to stand the whole three minutes of the record."
Ghost and Price stayed quiet during the whole exchange, unimpressed by the trio's shenanigans. they had endured too many drinking competitions, bets, dares, arguments and blatantly stupid ideas coming from the youngsters of the squad over the years, so nothing fazed the two superiors. underneath their apathy, however, lied a real sense of entertainment, illustrated by discreet smirks after particularly dumb comments - usually dropped by Soap's mouth.
"make it a fifty and we have a deal." you smirked, sipping from your beer pint. if you were gonna humiliate yourself in public, it better be for real cash.
"fifty if you break the record, how does that sound?"
after a second of pondering and a few too many glances at the machine's movements, studying it meticulously to engrave how to properly react when the controller jolts the apparatus from side to side, you uttered a hesitant yes, winning a cheerful chant from your friends and some whistles from the audience. 
you stepped on the mat and quickly hopped on the mechanical bull, adjusting your legs around the fake saddle. it shouldn't be that hard, right? the initial movements were easy - just holding on the chord and letting the laws of motion do the work. you didn't want to admit, but it was actually pretty fun.
eventually, the controller decided he was being too gentle and started picking up the pace, making your body rock back and forth on bull, decision that knocked the air out of your lungs for a split second, before you composed yourself and tightened your grip on the handles like your life depended on it. the crowd shouted gleefully, encouraging you to push through, despite a few snarky comments preying on your fall, just the expected.
what you didn't expect - and neither realized - was the way your teammates were reacting.
Gaz stood there with his jaw almost reaching the floor, being impressed not only by your sturdy grip, but mostly by the way your back arched when the machine tilted forward, defining your muscles through the skin-tight fabric of your shirt. even if you didn't endure the whole minute from the initial bet, he was willing to give you his entire wallet, just to watch you ride it again, and definitely not to imagine you bouncing on his lap for a little longer.
Soap, who has always been aware of your beauty, suddenly had to sit down after feeling his pants tighten at the sight of your plump ass jiggling due the repeated impacts on the bull's back, in desperate attempts to grind yourself. in addition, the tiniest bit of your lacy underwear peeking out of the dark jeans that hugged your hips flawlessly wasn't helping with his situation.
the daring smile that painted your lips, juxtaposing the concentrated frown of your eyes as you tried your best to not fall during an exceptionally wild movement, only supplied Ghost's cock with an overflow of blood, twitching at the view of your plush thighs clenching around the bucking machine whenever it defied your determination by leaning too much on the sides, shaking to make you collapse on the mat.
Price, however, acted as gentleman the whole time, just admiring your ability and strength to stay clutched to the unpredictable machinery. that, of course, was only until he got a view of your perfectly round tits, taunting the edges of your low-cut top and threatening to spill out at any given minute, ready to give him a real show. the adrenaline-filled flush that gave your cheeks an innocent pink hue, felt very similar to the sudden rush on his shaft that made your captain almost choke on his scotch.
three minutes and forty-seven seconds.
"that was so much fun!" your giggly shout and stumbling figure getting closer to the group was enough to snap the men out of their trance. they quickly took notice of your wide grin and the brown cowboy hat placed on your head, followed by the loud screaming of the public that just witnessed the bar's record being broken. 
"come on, pay up, Gaz." you said, sticking your palm to receive your well deserved money in a contained victory dance.
the four men glanced at each other, gathering the courage to speak up after your little performance that had them weak on the knees for a colleague. 
"didn't think you had it in ye, bonnie." Soap stated as Gaz reached for the wallet in his back pocket, almost considering giving you a fat tip for the spectacle. the sergeants were certainly doing a poor job in hiding the blush on their cheeks and small beads of sweat on their foreheads, consequence of trying to ignore the tent formed on their trousers.
your superiors, on the contrary, remained quiet and seemingly undisturbed by the previous scene, silently sipping from their glasses but still watching the chatting trio. only now, they wouldn't dare to get up and risk the others - specifically you - noticing their throbbing cocks marking their pants, yearning for the touch of your silky flesh.
after collecting your gains, you rapidly swayed to the bar counter, ordering a new drink with your sweet, sweet money, while the task force members ultimately etched the sight of you riding the mechanical bull in the deepest corner of their brains - saving the images for the great release when you all get back to base.
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okay this is my first official thingy i feel so silly. also english is not my first language so...
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fillinforlater · 9 months
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Maknae Royale
Male Reader x Jang Wonyoung, Wang Yiren, Lee Gahyeon, Park Sujin (Swan), Jeon Somi, Shin Yuna, Kim Yerim (Yeri), Im Yeojin (9some)
Length: 10.000 words
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Tags: live action porn, porn game, fucking for points, Team Battle Royale, squirting kink, edging kink, bimbofication, brat taming, doggy, fingering, face riding, blue balling, jerking you off, titfuck, standing sex, step-bro I'm stuck, anal, creampie, anal creampie, eating out, blowjob, face fucking, deep throat, rough sex, missionary, full nelson, against the wall, piledriver, mating press, overstimulation, porn_star!you / porn_rookies!idols
TW: even after editing, this is messy and chaotic and pure sex lol
Inspiration: the idea of a Maknae focused fic is not new, but I just went all in. This is also based on this vote I send out a while ago lol. I think I can name drop @writerpeach cuz I remember him saying sth like that.
Credit: @erospandemos for the cover art! Thabk you very much!
(A/N: One year after C.Ollection, I'm trying my best to celebrate and repeat that craziness, have fun! The beginning is a reference to Labyrinth of the Six. This is the same universe but not a sequel!)
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"I was looking for copper and I found gold!"
You turn off the purring engine of your car. It is clearly not as nice as the purring of the girl you were in balls deep mere minutes ago, but let's be honest, those purrs should not be compared; one is mechanical, the other borderline maniacal. You let out a sigh as you kill the annoying lights in your car to focus on the call you just accepted.
"Hi, is this really how you're greeting me?" you respond, letting your fingers glide over the steering wheel as you watch a single car pass by in the middle of this warm, humid night.
"Oh, man, stop complaining!" the director says and laughs. You can hear him type something on an old keyboard, each tap of his fingers obnoxiously loud. "I'm going to give you the opportunity of a lifetime—something this great, it needs no greeting."
You rub your nose, then the inside of your eyes filled with tiredness and exhaustion. She was needy tonight, you gave her two rounds, 140 minutes of a hard pounding until the clock struck a merciless 3am. Yes, you were counting the minutes, it was necessary. Otherwise Jiwon’s cunt would have drained you early, which is unbecoming of a porn actor of your caliber.
"Look," you halt the director's enthusiasm with a groan. "I'm doing good right now. Money—I got enough; my love-life is good too. Maybe I'll take a break for a couple of months until my next—"
"No, listen!" he shouts in absolute excitement, like he has been enlightened by the truth. "This script, it's so fucking good! It lit a fire in me, I can already see the setting, the actresses, you—it's perfect. This can even top your Labyrinth performance—you remember, the six hotties—"
"Of course I do!" There you go. Your heart beat is picking up in tempo. How could you forget the pleasure, the absolute thrill of having sex with six gorgeous women at the same time? Don’t kid yourself, this already felt like one in a million—to flat out reject another offer that could be of this magnitude would be absolutely foolish. “Fuck it. Send me the script, I’ll get back to you.”
“Oh, you will,” the director says, absolutely certain that you will accept in a heartbeat after reading this ominous script. “I’ll start looking for actresses.”
#
The script is complex, wild, otherworldly—implementing it took weeks of preparation. Luckily, your part in this clusterfuck is rather simple: be hard, go hard and stay hard. The first two are deeply rooted within you. Seeing the girls’ incredible faces and even greater bodies has you ready to get a raging erection at any time, while some of their slutty mannerisms and lewd words dripping from their tongues like venomous drool urge you to go as hard and rough as you can. Hell, they’ll basically beg for you—why would you hold back?
The only issue is that there are too many of them. No matter how hot they are or how horny you are, at some point there is nothing left. You will be drained and there is no shame in admitting defeat to them. So once again, you’ll have to resort to some performance enhancers to stay hard like a diamond while drilling into cave after cave. It’s a pink pill this time, tiny, you barely notice it, both in the palm of your hand and in your throat. Take a deep breath and feel it surely doing its job already. 
You open your eyes in the midst of a studio room that looks like a submarine. Dim light, large, black holes around you, each with a large porthole-like door in the middle; it feels gloomy, mysterious, unsettling. A single camera is pointed at you, live streaming each droplet of sweat running down your face. Feel the artificial warmth of a nearby heater creep up your thin clothes, giving you chills. It cannot match the heat within you.
The red light atop the camera turns off. Sixty seconds from now, one of the portholes will open. The glass in them is blurry, obscuring any view of the chaos happening behind them. You of course know the script inside out, but the girls’ are still somewhat unknown. You’ve never seen them face to face, only in zoom calls, their bodies looked fantastic and because they are rookies, they should also be tight, but you don’t know how they will handle the pressure, all the eyes on them, the revealing outfits, the unbridled sex—
Around thirty seconds now. You grab your trousers and feel blood rushing out of your legs. Feet tingle, the tips of your fingers as well. This pill, it has your heart racing somewhere, racing from something, to anything. Eyes tremble, vision blurrier than the glass before you, behind you, around you. 
You’ve never felt more alive and dead at the same time.
With a loud hiss, the porthole to your left swings open, wide open, flooding your entirely empty room with copious amounts of fog and the smell of fresh fruits. The vibrant color scheme of pastel pink, magenta, light purple and white fills your view as you step into what looks like Princess Peach’s private castle, its kitchen, living room and bedroom. It’s like one explosion of cuteness and innocence, quite charming, very fake.
“Oh, he’s already here. Look, Barbie!”
“That’s not my name, Yiren. Hello, handsome stranger!”
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The two girls fit the concept of the room perfectly. Such bright smiles, happiness pouring from their cute little faces; you knew they would nail this performance the moment you saw their pictures and heard their voices. Wonyoung, the tall girl with her incredibly long legs truly looks like a Barbie doll: tiny ribbons adorn her endless chocolate hair while the pink crop top and straight denim skirt make you want to play with her all night, undress her everywhere.
Yiren on the other hand blends in with the room to such a degree, you’d assume they cannot be sold separately. The chinese girl boasts hair the color of peaches, her tight white dress sparkles because of small, silver details spread across it, while her face leaves no doubt that she is, in fact, a princess. 
The two get closer to you, before Wonyoung starts to speak up again, her voice in a sassy, yet genuinely adorable pitch.
“Aw, are you shy? No need to be, we’re all here to have fun. Isn’t that right, Yiren?”
“You’re right, Barbie. Let’s play some games and make it a night we won’t forget,” Yiren adds, quieter and calmer than Wonyoung, with a smile that warms the heart.
“S-sure,” you respond to the two girls bouncing up and down in front of you like hyped up kangaroos. “B-but what are we going to play?”
“You see,” Wonyoung starts. “Yiren and I are a team and we have a mission to fulfill. Can you help us?”
“I’d love to, but what is the mission?”
Yiren turns towards Wonyoung, who’s already grinning at her. They share a nod and Yiren suddenly wraps herself around one of your arms, while Wonyoung occupies the other. Feel their slender bodies rub on your limbs, their natural heat and rapid heartbeats working towards your own, increasing it with every step they guide you towards a bed in the corner of the room. It’s at least double queensized, filled with pillows, blankets and stuffed animals.
“Let me explain it to you,” Wonyoung says and climbs atop the purple sheets. “Our mission is to make this bed as wet as possible.”
“Well that sounds easy,” you respond. “Just get some tap water and dump it on here.”
“That’s what I thought too,” Yiren whispers in your ear and suddenly places her hands all over your back and chest. 
“No tap water, only natural juices are allowed,” Wonyoung hums and her hands casually open her skirt. It falls on the bed and she is quick to kick it away. She looks even more tempting and ruinable in her tiny tight panties with a wet teddy bear on the front. “We need your help to get these juices out of us, pretty please?”
“Yes, pretty please?” Yiren adds and cups the bulge in your pants. “It will be so much fun, I promise. Doesn’t Barbie look tight? Don’t you want to fuck her until she bursts?”
“Fuck, yes.”
“Splendid,” Wonyoung laughs and throws away her crop top as well. Meanwhile Yiren finds the hem of your pants and tugs them down oh-so easily, the only resistance is your hard member, which Yiren promptly points at her team partner who has her legs spread invitingly. 
She’s so hot.
As if she read your mind, Yiren tempts you into finally going hard:
“She looks so hot. Go fuck her.”
Like a tiger desperate for food, you crawl onto the bed and tackle your prey into a mountain of teddy bears. Your fingers find the very specific teddy bear on Wonyoung’s panties, you push it to the side to find a pink slit. A final look at her glistening eyes before you press your cock onto her equally glistening slit and after some adjustments, you enter her. 
Wonyoung shrieks cutely, her thin fingers wrap around your biceps’ and she holds onto them as you start to slowly pump into her. The two of you need time to realize where you are, what you’re doing, how you’re doing it. All acting for the camera is gone in this bliss, at least for a couple of seconds. Then it all comes back with Yiren, eagerly who jumps on the bed as well.
“You need to hurry up, we don’t have forever.”
You slip a hand under Yiren’s dress to quickly shut her up. No panties.
“How about you start helping, princess,” you fight back. “Go rub Wonyoung’s clit while you ride my fingers. Oh, and Wonyoung.”
“Ye-yes?” the young girl moans.
“Open your mouth wide. I need you to drool on these.”
Both Yiren’s pussy lips and Wonyoung’s normal lips—though their lusciousness and thickness is far from mere ‘normal’—part as soon as your fingers graze them. The latter is quick to slobber all over them while you recklessly pump them into her; Yiren still has reservations and instead opts to look at you with adorable glassy eyes.
“I-I feel so full,” she moans, shivers throughout her entire body. You softly smile at her and start to curl your fingers, purposefully dragging them alongside her walls while your palm reaches her clit. “Ah, i-it feels—”
Holy shit. Whatever chemical they put into this pill, it has a tendency to just kill your patience. In what can only be described as a loss of all control, your body only moves towards fulfilling the mission. Your fingers start to violently pump into Yiren’s pussy and Wonyoung’s mouth, both quickly spilling liquids out of them. Especially Wonyoung, the Barbie girl below you, becomes a dispenser of juices when you violently fuck into her tight pussy.
“Too fast, ah!” Yiren screams, her hands wrapped around your wrist, unable to prevent the surge of lust in your body. 
“Fuck, sorry. I can’t stop me.” You groan, not really sorry about the stuff happening to you, to them and—oh God! Wonyoung’s tiny frame, those cute hard abs, get bulged by your massive erection. A bit of skin and muscles, pushed up by your relentless thrusts, and she is also seeing it. Is she panicking, losing her mind to how you violate almost her entire body?
Her pussy is quick to give you an answer: like a broken, public fountain, she shoots water at you, suddenly soaking your body in her warm pussy juices. With their strong, lewd smell they are the perfect liquid to stain the sheets, more than your balls or her drool can produce. Much to your dismay, most of the nectar gets stuck on you. 
“Fuck, turn around,” you command the thin fuckdoll and because she is too enamored by her heavy orgasm—her tiny thighs and long legs trembling up high in the air—you grab her hips and spin her around. Now in Doggy, you keep her upright by pulling her chestnut colored hair and plunge back into her still twitching cunt.
Wonyoung is completely overwhelmed. Instead of the cute, girlie moans you’d expect from her pretty lips, she grunts uncontrollably, her voice still hoarse from your fingers that played with her mouth. The grunts, however, are nothing compared to the wet sounds coming from her pussy as you thrust into the warm cavern, desperate to get more out of it. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” both you and Wonyoung groan. The tips of her fingers dig deep into a soft stuffed toy while yours knead her soft butt. The sight of it is amazing; not a big dumpy, like you’ve seen on countless actresses, but so flawlessly smooth with an impossibly tiny asshole you one day need to get your tongue into.
“Pl-please, me-me too.”
Yiren crawls closer to you, her skirt pulled up, her cunt a leaking mess that needs something inside it. The live action fucking in front of her has her on the edge, ready to do her part to fulfill the mission, but you are too mesmerized by Wonyoung. 
“Wony, lick her pussy. Get your tongue into her, fuck!” you shout, lost in your frenzy.
The barely thinking, barely functioning Barbie gets her hands onto Yiren’s thighs, at first only breathing, hissing, moaning into the princess’ crotch. It’s enough for Yiren to finally take the lead, forcing Wonyoung’s face straight onto her puffy lips, and the younger surrenders. She kisses and licks all over Yiren’s delicious cunt, the bundle of nerves atop it never left out. Yiren shudders.
“Oh God, oh Go~d, fuck!”
Yiren is louder than a fucking bomb when she explodes onto Wonyoung’s face and more importantly, the bed. Her nectar splashes all over the sheets, their color darkening beneath her knees. Finally, the three of you have made significant progress, and you are eager to make more. Especially Wonyoung seems to be more turned on than before; her pussy is even tighter, her walls ripple as she continues to eat Yiren out. 
“You like that, huh? Your face deep in her pussy?” you ask her and give her cute ass a firm spank. “Such a dirty princess!” 
“Yesh!” Wonyoung shouts, pressing her behind into your pistoning cock. 
“You like my cock fucking you senseless, getting into your insides? You want it all, deeper?”
“Yesh, pleash!”
“Try to push me out, Wonyoung, squeeze me with your stupid little pussy!”
“Ah, shit, fuck! I’m—”
Yiren shuts her team partner up by grinding on her face. It’s enough to send Wonyoung into an orgasmic frenzy—again—and the moment you pull out, she squirts—again—everywhere. It was amazing, absolute bliss for you, but you are not there yet. You need to cum, inside a hot, clenching hole and so you disrupt the two princess’ love making.
Yiren fits perfectly into your hand. She is almost as light as Wonyoung, so you pick her up and place her on the head of the bed. The young woman is still frozen in surprise, her eyes uncertain, then shocked when you spread her legs wide and align your cock with her pussy.
“Oh God, it’s t-too big,” she whines even before you’re inside her.
“You can take it, Yiren, you’re such a good and pretty princess,” you mindlessly groan as you stare at her, then her nipple peeking out above her increasingly bunched up dress. “Now cum all over me.”
Yiren is too easy. Only a few strokes of your cock alongside her velvety walls and her entire body ripples. It starts with her cunt, soon goes to her torso and limbs, before she squirts like a broken garden hose. If the bed was a garden, countless flowers would bloom in it—and Wonyoung wants to make sure you stay to help them. 
“You have to stay,” she whines. “Stay inside her and make her cum again.” She pushes you, forces you to almost slip inside Yiren again. From the corner of your eye however you see a red light, the indicator that you have to switch scenes right now.
“I think I did enough.” You pull away Wonyoung’s slender arms and Yiren’s feet trying to get you back inside her. “Get some toys or use your fingers. I’m not playing for your team, you need to play together.”
Yeah, sure, something like that was in the script. Luckily, even these two remember that the show must go on. At least Wonyoung does. The Barbie gets handsy, waving you goodbye while plunging her beautiful, long fingers into Yiren's cunt. What a waste that you won’t cum on those digits tonight.
"Have fun~" Wonyoung cheers as you disappear from her view, towards the next porthole which is already open.
Before you can take in the next setting fully, a nude, masked woman greets you by pulling your face down into her sizable cleavage.
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"Quick, get him in here," another voice, feminine yet deep, straightforward yet mysterious, calls and you feel hands all over your body, as they drag you into the room. You only catch glimpses of its interior, a dark, unsettling dungeon with iron bars and cold, smooth walls, akin to the setting of certain Japanese videos you—a friend of yours—used to watch—for scientific reasons.
"Here, pin him down."
That voice just now is truly incredible, if only you could see who it belongs to. Unluckily, you only get to see the ceiling as four hands throw you onto a table. Those two are strong, you think, because your back hurts at the impact.
Suddenly, your view gets replaced by a smooth pussy and jiggly thighs trapping your head on the wooden surface. You take deep breaths, the strong smell of arousal quickly filling your nose. A finger boldly flicks your cockhead.
"Oh, you're really turning him on, Gah," the other woman says, your pulsating cock in her fist. "Ride his face, and I think we’ll get our first points soon."
"Wh-who are you?" you barely squeeze out, words drowned out by drowning in Gahyeon's pussy juice.
"I'm Swan, but we don't have time for that. We need to win this game, which is why you have to suffer.
"Sorry, by the way."
Before you can respond, Swan's fist goes up and down your length with the violence and speed of a raging tiger, ready to fucking destroy you. Tears spawn in your eyes, precum at your tip. She drives you to the edge and keeps you there with rhythmic pumps while you imagine her face in horny delight.
"Is he there yet?" Gahyeon asks, her voice raspy and cruel.
"Why don't you ask him?" Swan responds and twirls her tongue around your balls. You twitch.
Gahyeon lifts a leg and her deadly eyes stare through a terrifying mask right at you. "Tell me when you're about to explode,” she snarks and to put emphasis on her following words, she presses a long finger nail into your abdomen. “If not, I'll kill you.
“And start licking, for fucks sake.”
She plants herself back down before you can answer. She can live with your eager tongue on her thick folds as an analogical agreement. Through Gahyeon’s almost soundproof thighs you hear her passionate groans and Swan’s continuous spitting in her hands and on your cock to get you wet and ready for more of her soft hands. 
You can’t deny that they are excellent. Yiren and Wonyoung both had tight, cozy holes, but something about Swan grabbing your dick and mercilessly pumping and twisting it makes your spine tingle. She quickly gets you to arch your back and moan into Gahyeon’s pussy, which has started to glide back and forth over your visage.
“Such a nice cock,” Swan moans. “Look at it, Gah! The head is already burning, I can feel that he’s close.”
Swan puts her second hand on your base and presses her lubed up palm on your underside while she starts to destroy your tip with violent pumps. She is a vicious succubus, trying to get your seed out efficiently without care for your sensitivity. With Gahyeon using your face like a saddle, your mind is left on hold when you loudly tap the table to signal your imminent arrival.
“Swan, now!”
The moment Gahyeon shouts, Swan is gone. No more delicate fingers to hold you, no more fists to jerk you, nothing to stimulate you. You thrust your hips up into air, unable to cum, unable to get your well-deserved release. Those fleeting seconds where you want only one thing are absolutely ruined by not getting this one thing—and then it’s over. You come back down with a devastated sigh. 
“That’s one,” Gahyeon says and looks down at you in between her legs. “But we need more.”
“I agree,” Swan says, adjusting her position in between your shivering legs. “Get him to cooperate, I’ll do the rest.”
Gahyeon once again is faster than your attempts at remonstration. She puts her small hand on your throat and carefully increases the amount of weight on it. You gasp in dread before Swan places your still hard cock in the valley of her enormous tits. The valley then turns to a compressed trap where only your glans peeks out. 
'Oh fuck', you want to, need to scream but it's futile with Gahyeon's enthusiasm to rub her labia on your lips. Swan shows a very similar need to torture you, her hands eagerly digging into the flesh of her melons and moving them up and down—both at the same time, then at different times, faster, then slower but with more pressure—is she trying to get you killed? 
Death by titfuck. That will be an eyecatching epitaph. 
"Do it faster," Gahyeon orders her teammate emphatically. "We need to get the score up."
"I know," Swan says, her voice a bit strained. "It's just unfair, you know? Getting him ready again and all that. But I think, fuck, we’re getting there. Look at his tip, isn't it cute?"
Swan licks the slit on your cockhead, cleaning the precum from it and you have to tap out again. You are so close once more, but a terrible gut feeling lets you doubt that you will cover Swan's tits with your cream. You’ve never felt so sick about being right, when she pops you free from the heavens between her large breasts.
They are right there, God dammit.
"That's number two!" Swan gleefully shouts and looks at your pole, pointing at the sky, sensitive and ready to explode, but your balls turn blue again. This can't be healthy, with how frustrated it makes you.
"Use your mouth this time, Swan—"
"Oh yeah? Why don't you do something for once?"
"Huh? We agreed on this earlier! I'm doing my part! Look, he can't even say a word."
"Pl-please," you interrupt the girls' discussion. "Let me, please, let me cum already!"
"Sorry, pal." Swan's voice is soft, and her tongue on your dick is even softer. "But we need to ruin you even more. That's how we're going to win."
"Th-then ruin your own orgasms," you plead with numbness in your mouth, caused by Swan's mouth on your barely numb manhood. "Th-this is cruel."
"He's got a point," Gahyeon thinks out loud. "Ah, fuck this game. If you can get me close, boy, I'll let you escape."
This might be your only chance to get out of this vicious cycle of ruined orgasm and painful edging. So you actually channel all your focus of your lips, tongue and teeth—whatever Gahyeon likes—on her clit. It's surprisingly easy to make her thighs around your ears squirm; Gahyeon's pussy is now wetter than Swan's mouth wrapped around your cockhead.
Suddenly, Swan gives you everything. She forces you to bottom out in her mouth, grow to full hardness once more while she violently gags. She might have been in absolute control over you for the last couple of minutes, but she is perfectly able to make her mouth a slutty hole for your cock. A soft, dominant deepthroat queen with massive tits—she is going to be a super star.
In a surge of ecstasy, fueled by Gahyeon's sweet juice, you buckle your hips upwards and force Swan to choke a little longer on your length. The young woman is not irritated however. After a single breathe she is back to going up and down you cock, sucking along it until your fucking dead. 
You know she's going to ruin it again and the only way to pay them back is by ruining Gahyeon's orgasm as well. You finger the pussy above you and quickly flick the blood-filled lips and nub, until she cries out. Then you stop, then Swan stops. She is the only one satisfied—another two points for her team.
You blink a couple of times. Gahyeon, groaning like an enraged bull, has the busty Swan pinned to the metal bars of this dungeon and with all her hatred, slaps the younger's wet cunt.
"Now it's your turn, bitch!"
"Ouch, stop!"
"No. I want to win and you want to win too, so you better ruin yourself on my fingers. Now!"
This is your cue to leave. The dungeon fills with Swan's deep grunts and groans as she finally gets to witness what she put you through again and again and again. You'd love to help Gahyeon; there will be no need for it though. The masked girl is willing to do whatever is necessary to win.
Across from the dungeon, the second to last door is already open. The room mimics a dimly lit laundromat with a dozen or so washing machines. You step inside, cock in your carefully stroking hand. After all, you’ll have to be hard for the next scene, which will be the complete opposite of the last. 
“Hello? Can somebody help me?” someone cries (let’s be honest, it’s much closer to a desperate moan) from behind a pile of freshly dried laundry atop a clothes rack. There is a sincere lack of intelligence in that cry, like said person is unable to help themselves. Makes you feel chivalrous. 
“Hey, how can I—help you?”
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The sight you find behind the pile has your speech a bit halted, interrupted by how, in a room made for washing clothes, someone is severely lacking them: A gorgeous, busty blonde, in nothing but modest, white underwear, though you notice that the bra is at least a size too small and unable to fully carry the weight of her tits.
"Oh, please help me," she moans again. "I think I've picked the wrong bra for me. Can you help me cover so no one can see my boobies while I look for the next?"
What the fuck? This is so fucking stupid on so many levels. How could she—and why would she suggest—what is even happening? The cliche about blondes must be true, because this one is not only dumb as fuck, but also hotness at it's peak. From bust to bottom, no, even to her toes, her body is amazing and tempting.
"Uhm, sure, why not. Can I know your name first?" you politely ask while not so politely getting behind her and cupping her breasts.
"I'm Somi. Thank God your hands are so big, no one can see my boobies now, hihi."
Is it innate for her to sound this silly? If not for this setting, you’d be worried; no human can ever be this stupid, only a buffoon would act in such a way. But maybe Somi’s IQ is just a bit lower than the average person—or maybe she knows no boundaries? The rules of public decency and inappropriate, sexual exposure might be foreign to her? You don’t know. You just know that her boobs are soft and bouncy, two handfuls of pillows to rest your head upon, of stress balls to knead when you are, you know, stressed.
You seem to know a lot more than her, especially because she still tries to find a bra able to hold up her breasts in the midst of clothes which all have two things in common: they are colorful and they are skimpy. It’s like the laundry of a whorehouse with how many short and skin tight skirts, dresses, fishnet stockings you find, let alone the short tops or all the lingerie. Speaking of which, Somi has finally found a bikini top that might be able to do the deed your hands are gleefully doing. 
“Do you think this one is good?” she asks, holding up a new, purple bra while you slightly press at the bottom of her tits to watch them wobble on your finger tips. 
“Try it out, because I’m not so sure with your massive boobs.”
Somi giggles and tries to put on the bra. You leave enough room, really, you do, for her to tie up the thin strands, but Somi is unable to. She mewls a couple of times before you go in and securely tie up the strands yourself. You are promptly rewarded, because the blonde decides to bend down and press her ass back against your crotch, your exposed cock, rapidly hard again at the touch of her cotton panties. 
“Thank you, again,” Somi says and pushes her chest up for all to see. “What do you think, is this good?”
“Somi, is it possible that you are fucking stupid?” Oh, that sounded a lot harsher than it should have. The tension is quickly palpable. You hear someone gasp from the other end of the room.
“W-why?” Somi’s question is abashed, a bit shocked; even in this state of complete bimboness, she still looks so good. 
“Because these bottoms don’t fit your top,” you say and pull at the side of her panties until they snap off of her hips. “You should change them. White and purple don’t fit together all too well.”
Somi looks down at her cleavage, the purple lace engulfing her tits, then to her thighs which have been parted by your cock. The tip peaks from in between her legs and you softly groan out the pleasure her perfect gap gives you into her ear. There is no mere hint of slickness from her heat, there are ridiculous amounts of evidence of it, proof spreading all over. It’s a clear case of horniness, you better resolve the issue immediately. 
“You’re right,” Somi mumbles, thighs swaying. “I should look for the right bottoms. They should be in here.” Things couldn’t get any better, because now Somi is bending over, hands in the pile of clothes, while your hands are in the plentifulness of her ass. You hold her steady, align your cock with a hole that looks so ready to get fucked and then push forward. Somi almost stumbles forward, but you save her from making an even greater mess of this place by continuing to make a mess out of her. 
“Oh God,” she moans, a pink crop top in hands. “I-I can’t find it.”
“Continue, continue searching,” you groan back and slam your hips forward, then backwards, your cock entering and exiting her cunt at will—your will is strong, overpowering every small exhaustion in chase of that first true release of this messy pornographic shoot, a shoot where teams fight to win, yet this “team” does not even have a target goal.
Somi’s goal is to be stupid, oblivious to your cock gaping her pussy open time and time again, and for this being her first time on cam, she is excellent. Of course, her dumb moans can’t be deactivated, you doubt even a ball gag can fully do that, but a benevolent interpretation of this scene allows for these moans to be of desperation. Somi just really wants to find these purple bikini bottoms—your cock spreading her pussy and the camera lens on it is just a side product. 
“Da-damnit, fuck,” Somi seems to give up, defeatedly grabbing the edge of the table while you hold onto her shoulders to get faster, deeper inside of her. “They are not h-here.”
“Maybe you need to take a step back and look at it from afar,” you tell her and all it takes is a pull at her shoulders and Somi stands straight up. From now on, your thrusts go upwards and Somi can casually bounce along while her dizzy eyes try to process the color purple amidst a pile so colorful, every pride parade would become envious. 
Your arms instinctively wrap around Somi’s small waist. You need to keep her here, can’t let her get away, not when you are this close to finally cumming. Your balls are aching, your tip is stimulated and you know that it will be glorious. Somi’s body, from a face that could make news just for its beauty, paired with a pair of perky, large boobs, amplified by a tight, muscular midriff, killer hips and strong, full thighs, she has to be everyone’s type. 
People will click on her videos millions of times, yet you are about to be the first to cream her, you can call dibs on that pussy, no male rival co-star stands a chance. Your cock is ready, your legs able to give more power into the final thrusts when suddenly—
“Oh, I found it!”
—Somi leans forward, hand stretched out, ready to grab what has always been on top of this entire pile, in your view forever, in everyone’s view forever, only Somi took forever to find it: purple panties. No, they can’t ruin your perfect orgasm. You heartlessly push Somi against the table, head first into the laundry. Her scream now muffled by a dozen of clothes in her face, you manically fuck your load into her doggy until cum floods her cavern and clothes flood the laundromat floor.
Every part of you is twitching, so is Somi and her pussy. A bit more, a bit more, she squeezes out of you, but she is full. In the midst of all this chaos, this silly, flushed bitch was able to grab the panties. You give her tits a harsh slap to awaken her from the cock induced slumber. 
“Put them on, quick, before we make a bigger mess.”
Somi obliges, though shaky. You help her by holding onto her hips, her tits, all those things you could grab forever. When your shaft falls out of her pussy and you watch her catch most of your load with the tight panties, you want to push them to the side and just fuck her full pussy again. That’s when you notice someone down the aisle of washing machines—is it Somi’s teammate?
“Who the fuck is th—”
“Help, I’m stuck!”
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This one is a classic. A trope so beyond stereotypical, everyone knows it. Just like the dumb blonde, this one can be found on every porn site ever. The only thing missing is that she calls you stepbro. That would be a bit too much though. Her ass sticking out of one of the washing machines while she absolutely tries to get back out of it is already cliche enough to you.
Oh yeah, she’s also completely naked.
“Oh no, Yuna is stuck!” Somi states the exposition for the viewer, who is utterly uninvolved in the engaging plot they stopped paying attention to since this video's thumbnail. “We need to help her!”
Somi waddles towards her partner. You see trails of cum running down her legs,  unceremoniously dropping to the floor and making a lewd, sticky mess of it. She seems unbothered, just like you, and the camera absolutely loves it. The view then switches from this to a new, exposed and impressively large ass.
“Help, help,” Yuna shouts again, metallic reverberation unable to dampen the stupidness in her voice. You had filmed a scene like this one already, but there are no complaints whatsoever. As long as you can get your hands on Yuna’s ass, pull those cheeks apart and get the first view of those two smooth, clean holes, why would you complain?
“How did this happen, Yuna?” Somi asks worriedly, arms alongside Yuna’s frame, definitely ‘pulling’ on her teammate's waist, while your mind imagines all the ways you could rim Yuna for hours.
“I wanted to pull my underwear out of here,” she responds with a whine. “But now I am stuck!”
Go figure, she is brainless as well. Both of them are, but nature has instead given them the envy of millions of women: divine bodies that are effortlessly sexy and beautiful. Smooth skin, toned legs, curves to die for—in your admiration you notice that your energy is returning quicker than ever before. 
It might not fit the story, the narrative, the game, but in this moment of bliss, you couldn’t care less. Knees bend, cock guided by your thumb, you press your tip against Yuna’s ring and find the entry into her asshole to be a lot easier than expected. Her moan bounces through the washing machine just like her boobs bounce in surprise. 
Confusion has Somi frozen, her body only reacting when you put force in your thrusts, enough power to make Yuna hit her dumb head against the back of the washing drum. A profuse whimper made metallic, not that you care, but Somi seems to get back into the real world where she is still as moronic as before. 
“H-how is this supposed to help Yuna?” 
It’s not. Tell her that. Tell her and Somi will continue complaining like this without getting any pleasure from you. Serves her right, won’t make the scene any better though, thus you find her neck with your hand and find her eyes with yours. They sparkle knowingly. 
“You really are the dumbest thing alive.”
A pull and Yuna is out of the drum. Blonde hair flows down her back, hides her frail shoulders and in the reflection of the metal drum you see her lips in a light, glistening pink. They are full and made for sucking. In the sea of her endless, golden hair, your hand twists and twists until Yuna voluntarily raises herself from the ground and arches her back towards you. Your goal is not to kiss her lips (though that would be one hell of an experience) but to drown her in Somi’s cleavage.
“What are you—Yuna! No, don’t pull it down, I-I just found it.”
Sweat evaporates from your temple when you see those lips wrap around one of Somi’s nipples and begin to lewdly suck on it. The thrill is engaging, Yuna’s ass invites you back in and it’s with ease that you fuck her puckered hole. You poke the depths of this suffocating cavern and Yuna begins to poke all over Somi’s body. The dumber blonde hesitates briefly, hands first on her thighs, then Yuna’s until she ends up below her friend. 
“Now you are trapped,” Yuna giggles and drool leaves her mouth in purposefully large amounts, able to transform the valley between Somi’s tits into a canal. 
“You two are so fucking stupid, fuck, fuck your hot bodies.”
You are starting to lose it, for every word they utter, your intelligence gets insulted but your arousal heightened. You spank Yuna’s ass and she tightens to the point where you need to give it your all to fuck her faster. What an odd time to notice that they haven’t told you their task yet. How can you help them get points? Shit, what was in the script again? Are you really that much smarter if you can’t remember?
“Yuna, Yuna, that feels so good,” Somi moans out and sways on the floor from side to side until you press Yuna right on top of her. With their incredible bodies entangled and you nonstop fucking into the tight ass, their sensitive spots have to rub each other, nipples on nipples, clits on clits, and Somi is the first to collapse. “Oh my God, I-I’m about to wet my panties, oh no, Yuna!”
“Me too, my butt, I’m going to cum from my butt!” Yuna’s silly fucked body, and her silly face and her silly feminine voice have you on the verge to become silly as well. Both blonde’s indulge in their wet, heavy orgasms and you push your tip back into Yuna so many times that you flood her with a pent up load that momentarily shuts down your brain.
So this is how they feel all the time—brainless but blissful. At least stupid bitches fuck good.
“Oh, Somi, there, there is so much in my ass~”
“Really? Can I feel it?”
Somi puts two fingers against Yuna’s puckered hole, but before she can get a scoop of your load that is still hidden in the tightly clenching butt, Yuna stands up. “No, Somi, ew,” Yuna shouts, moans, something in between, again. “You have to eat it straight from the butt, like this.”
You are back in the hub room, all the rooms finally open. Before you make your way to the last room, you decide to take a quick look into each scene you’ve already participated in that only users that buy the premium pass (which is off 69%, only today on k-jizzers.cum) can still watch: 
In the first room, Wonyoung and Yiren sit on the edge of the bed, fingering each other's pussies until they violently squirt all over the mattress. Both of them look sweaty and exhausted, but they continue to drink water and share saliva to go for another round. Stay hydrated, everyone.
“Let’s do this, Barbie, I know your tiny body can cum again!”
“O-okay, b-but only if you kiss me.”
In the second room, Swan is fully naked, her backside turned to you. She is tied to the metal bars with handcuffs on both of her wrists. Below her is Gahyeon, thrusting a dildo up into that tiny tight cunt, while her own hole is stuffed with a loud bullet vibrator. They are really committed to this game.
“I swear, Swan, if you cum again, I’ll kick your ass, literally!”
“S-sorry, Mommy, I try, try, try—I’m so close!”
In the third room, well, those blondes finally found a way to snowball your cum, not from mouth to mouth, but ass to mouth. Yuna sits on Somi’s face, head thrown back, unable to not moan as your white spunk oozes out of her. Bon Appetit. 
“Oh God, don’t put your tongue in!”
“But he tastes so good, let me be greedy this one time.”
The final room is a classroom, unmistakably. It has an old blackboard, a long desk for the teacher, smaller desks and chairs for the pupils. No matter when or where you’ve been to school, this will surely evoke memories of forgotten homework, endless lessons and bratty students.
 “Ew, is that the new guy?” you hear someone complain from across the room, disgust in her voice, fingernails rapidly typing on her phone. 
“Oh yeah, but what did you expect? At least he gives some big dick energy,” a response follows promptly, though this time they both look up from their phones and stare at you. You quickly find coverage behind the teachers desk to hide your manhood. A miserable attempt that has one of the girls outraged. 
“Ayo, what the fuck? Do you think you’re some kind of teacher now?”
“Maybe he is here to teach us a lesson, lol.”
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Did the girl on the left, in her messed up blouse and way-too-short checkered skirt, the waistband of a light brown thong on display, just like her midriff and navel—did she just say ‘lol’ out loud? Well, at this point the viewer will neither cringe or notice, too good is this material, too hot their bodies. 
“Maybe he is here to teach you a lesson for breaking the dress code,” the girl adds as she approaches the desk. 
“Yeri, you—you’re worse than me! Everyone can see your bra, what the fuck,” the other girl shouts and goes in for a slap on Yeri’s butt. The impact has you peeking out as a small melee breaks out.
“At least I tried, Yeojin, unlike you. Where is your skirt, your blouse? I can almost see your tits.” Yeri reaches for Yeojin’s chest, which is covered by this tiny, one piece swimsuit, so tiny in fact, even Yeojin’s small body seems to spill out of it. When there is so much shortness, of course Yeojin’s shorts are no different. Her shorts are actually shorter than Yeri’s skirt, which is already quite short—
“You tried?” Yeojin shrieks and tugs at Yeri’s blouse, accidentally undressing her. Who could have known, the bra below is actually a bikini top. “It’s falling off of your body.”
“Ts,
“Hey, you fucker! Get out already, we got some beef to settle.”
Yeri kicks the desk and you hear pencils roll down from it. They surely have not forgotten about you and your assumed big dick energy, so it was no use to continue hiding. You crawl out and straighten your posture, clearly taller than the two young women who don’t waste time looking up and gawking at the height difference. Both sets of hands go straight to your abdomen, your crotch, your cock. Yeojin is the first to pump, rubbing her fishnet sleeves carelessly over your sensitive tip.
“Watch it,” you hiss and get fistfuls of their hair, which to your surprise does not faze them at all. “You two are running your mouth, spewing bullshit. This is no way how you should treat people older and taller than you.”
Yeri frees herself easily from your grasp and you gasp when her knuckles dig into your stomach. It wasn’t really a punch, but somehow, she has you stunned. A smirk appears on her feisty features. “Watch it, asshole. This is our classroom, you’re the one below us. If you want some respect, don’t flex with your height. Flex with something else. Proof your worth.”
“O-oh yeah? And how should I do this?”
“Fuck us,” Yeojin casually says and pulls back the skin on your cock to the point it hurts and all the surging blood forces you to peak stiffness. “You get points for every position, the more creative, the better. Show us that this thing is more ‘do-er’ than ‘show-er’.”
Their eyes are the epitome of ‘fuck-me’ eyes, hell, they imagined fucked you the moment you entered, and in your mind, you’ve fucked them in every conceivable way possible. With all this imaginary fuckery, it’s about due time for the real fucking to start, though it’s definitely bugging you that these small, bratty girls get to start it off and lead the way. 
Guess your positions have to be rough.
“Fine,” you sigh and get ready to push Yeojin down to her knees, but there is no need. She takes the short fall and her lips aggressively wrap around your tip before you can overthink your decision. 
“No need to agree, it wasn’t up to you anyway,” Yeri laughs and you feel her fingers roam your upper body, everything from butt, back, nape to stomach and chest. She lingers there for a long time, cupping your pecs while you imagine cupping her surprisingly big tits—then Yeri dives in and starts to suck one of your nipples, while Yeojin bops her head back and forth. 
“You tiny bitches.” They make it hard to breathe, their sluttiness and sloppiness is excellent, their enthusiasm matches that of Wonyoung. “You greedy, evil little things. You’ll regret that.”
“We’ll see about that,” Yeojin moans when your cock pops from her luscious lips and you’re back to receiving harsh, painful pumps from her fishnet clad hands. “What’s stopping you, huh?”
Nothing, really, so you don’t keep them waiting any longer. You reach into the back of Yeri’s bikini bottoms while simultaneously finding a good grip on Yeojin’s ponytail. A bit of adjusting on both ends, suddenly there is nothing but sounds of horniness, of rampant, uncensored sex. Well, there is of course a lot more than that, but who could think of anything else—
—but Yeojin’s cock-sucking lips sucking cock. They are the only thick thing on this miniscule rookie pornstar. You jerk your hips forward and her nose meets your base. You keep it that way as her tight throat struggles with your size and saliva spills from her lips. 
Yeojin’s gags seem to turn on Yeri, her wet pussy dripping on your fingers as you rub it, never too fast, to keep her on the edge to—yeah, teach her a lesson. Look at that needy face, that heaving bosom, she is so desperate for more stimulation, but could never admit to it. Yeri’s pride keeps her from begging for your fingers to twirl inside her cunt.
“Is that really how you want to do it?” That’s as close to a beg as you will get from Yeri, nonetheless, you’ll give her more rubs. All this struggle is unbeknownst to the viewer, who can only see Yeri’ ecstatic face and wide open mouth as you finally insert two digits in her cunt. “That’s better, fuck.”
“Ride my fingers, Yeri. Impress me, and I’ll fuck you on the desk.”
“You, you will either way,” she chirps back, voice about to break when you thrust knuckles deep and curl, all while making Yeojin your sex doll. 
Those gags of hers have become too dangerous though, so you take a step back and intensely watch as Yeojin coughs up lots and lots of saliva, letting it run down her pretty little face, her throat that was just stuffed like some obscene christmas chicken. In disbelief you watch her wipe her tears away and grin on, as if she wasn't just fighting for her life. Nothing can get Yeojin down, her brattiness is unreal.
Yeri does not seem amused at the lack of attention you give her. She pulls your hand out of her pussy and waddles towards the desk. In a burst of creativity, you grab her and slam her on the desk, on her back. Yeri winces in pain, but you already have her entrance exposed and filled before she can complain. And complain, she shall never again.
“Fuck, so big, be ca-care-ful!”
“Now that’s—oh God, you’re tight—now that’s not what I expected from you,” you groan manically, as you pin Yeri down with both your eyes and hands. “Shut up and take it. I want to see your tits bounce.”
Out of nowhere, Yeojin’s thin hand creeps under the thin string of Yeri’s bikini top and pulls it off. Finally, you can see those modest breasts swing freely while you do what you’re best at: plunging your fat cock into a wet cunt. Yeri moans, in a deep craze, deep pleasure, her hips grind in circles so you have to pin her down harder, hands in the soft flesh above those hips—just fuck faster and lose your mind.
“Yeri, your pussy looks so full,” Yeojin giggles and brushes stray hair out of her friend’s ecstatic face. “Don’t tell me you’re already about to cum?”
“No-no, never—”
“Oh great, cuz I won’t let you,” you promptly say and pull out of that stretched hole, gaped and absolutely desperate for an orgasm that was right around the corner. A few more pumps and Yeri would have been gone, her first on cam climax was so close.
But now it’s Yeojin’s turn. After all you want those points—or is it their points? You don’t care, you just hook your arms underneath her thighs and pick her up. She’s as light as she looks and her pink cavern is as snug as you anticipate. Yeojin holds onto your neck for stability, while you split her open further and further and when she leans into you, you feel your cock bulge her.
“Fuck, fuck, that’s the spot.” Use Yeojin like a fleshlight, an upgrade to her sex doll mouth, and she surrenders to the pleasure. Wasn’t this supposed to be Team Bratty or something? This is more—
“Team Cockhungry, absolute sluts,” you shout at her but Yeojin is just mindless and her lips quiver anxiously whenever you’re not guiding her small body up and down your cock. “Yeri, get on the wall. Present your ass to me, if you want this cock again.”
Yeri nods, only focused on you. She needs a second to find orientation again, while you make Yeojin lose all orientation as you spin her around and fuck her full nelson. An insane idea by the producers, stand and carry sex for the finale, but with a girl this small, it’s actually possible. You are still the unrestrained engine that pistons and pistons until Yeojin is ready to burst.
“Not yet, not yet,” you coo as you ruin yet another orgasm. A wet pop when you remove yourself from what could be a perfect hole for cockwarming, breeding and many other lewd adventures. The industry will empty their pockets to get a video with this pocket pussy girl. But for now, she is all yours and quite dismayed.
“You, you dick, better make it up later,” Yeojin says, voice deeply judgemental. It has to be ignored, because first, you have to make it up for a certain someone who wasn’t satisfied with your fingers or a short missionary fuck. Yeri needs you again, deep and hard, while her fragile legs try to keep her upright.
You watch the side of her face, the lip bite, the palms flaking off the wallpaper, the thighs trapping you and your cock is already on her labia. Yeri rubs her love juice all over your rod and you follow her plea and take the lead with a thrust that can be heard around the world.
“Fuck, it’s deep, your cock is deep in my pussy.” The disbelief in her voice sounds genuine, just like the attempt to crawl up the wall to drop back down on your cock. Yeri wants you to hit her cervix, finally cumming all over you but you need to savor this position more.
“Deeper than anything else.” A hand in her hair, you press everything of her against the wall. “I know you like it deep, your best spots are there. You’re a slut for large cocks, you only want them while standing up.”
“No, I need them to pick me up! Lift me up and fuck me, break me open deeeeep!”
Yeri must have been so envious of Yeojin. You might have picked the wrong girl to lift on high and fill from below. You can still make it up though; Yeri’s tits are repurposed as handles to pull her back onto your chest, feet suddenly flying. You might be blinded by strands of her hair all over your face, but you can still feel the weight of Yeri down on your cock, while you’re still drilling into her. She is getting higher, not only physically, but mentally. She loves nothing more than to be watched while a huge shaft fucks her. The stimulation sends her into a sea of bliss, a deep ocean, like the puddle of girl cum beneath your feet. 
“I’m going to cum on your cock,” Yeri screams and tries to choke out a load from your balls, yet all she is choking you with is her hair on your face. “I love it, y-you can finish with me—”
The last time the camera captured someone cum so hard was about thirty minutes ago, either Wonyoung or Yiren, but unlike Team Princess next door, Yeri does it involuntarily. You pound the squirt out of her sloppy cunt until your legs become a slippery lubed mess and you almost slip on the cheap classroom floor. Yeri shouts and whines, the inside of her pussy still rippling when you pull out of it.
When you place Yeri back against the wall and feel the somewhat cold studio air brush past your erection, you realize that Yeri was close to getting you off too early. You are throbbing, surfing on the edge, almost getting blue balled. The only thing that can save you is Yeojin and the only thing you see is her ass, as she props herself up on all fours in between the chairs of—
Who counts chairs and who fucking cares? Just slam your cock into her ass and hear her screech in shock at the sudden fullness of her back entrance. There will be no ruined orgasm for you this time, Yeojin’s ass is your guarantee and you doubt her brattiness will return. Not when she moans so submissively. A question remains as you bury yourself repeatedly in Yeojin’s rectum: how can she be shocked when it's all lubed up and relaxed and eager to take you back inside like the pussy of a veteran porn star?
Yeojin really was born for this job. Her petite frame will be perfect for various porn sites related to kinks: size difference, stand and carry, small tits. The videos of her getting bulged will become legendary amongst the horniest or Reddit and Tumblr communities. Guys will have their way with her, her head will be spinning after some huge guys have her unconventionally spitroasted in the air or one of those tall, muscular women takes her for a ride on a strap-on. 
They won’t have to worry about anal from her, because Yeojin takes it legendarily, narrowing at just the right time to go beyond the audio-visual perfection that is her penetrated ass—in simpler words, it feels as good as it looks. She can rival Yuna or maybe form some butt slut dream team, that’s how fucking amazing fucking her ass is.
“Yeri get back here, I’m close,” you promptly announce whilst scoring again by forcing Yeojin into a prone position and marking her shoulders with tender bites. Yeri struggles to find footing, only able to push forward because of all the tables and chairs. When she finally reaches you, you give Yeojin your final pumps as her entire frame is struck by an orgasmic earthquake. 
In this day and age, everything has to be fast, even porn has to fit the 15 second shorts, reels, tiktok culture, so you start to cum in Yeojin and push Yeri to the ground at the same time. Then you reach for Yeri’s butt while holding back as many spurts as you can, to get her in this sweet piledriver and then paint both the outside and inside off her petite yet bubbly ass. It’s perfect for a short clip, that little teaser that plays when you’re about to click on the next JAV thumbnail on that shady site.
The HD or 4K settings across all screens can never do the real sight of a blissfully filled Yeri justice, as she eagerly spreads her own cheeks and everyone gets the awesome view of cum that seeps out of a gaped ass. The upside down (pretty, little, risky) baddie cleans off that hard-working cockwith her formerly bratty mouth. Deep exhales through her nose send a nice, warm stream of air around your base, which finally loses stiffness, the tension, it comes crashing down in the well-known post-nut clarity.
In this clarity however, you find Yeri’s final defiance; her lips will not let go of your cock and her tongue on your sensitive slit makes you curl your toes and whine out the agony which shoots up to your head like electric shocks. To top it all off, you feel Yeojin grin behind you when she wraps her slender arms around your midriff. This wasn’t in the script!
“The shooting might be over,” the tiny girl whispers. “But we are not done with you.”
“There are still a lot of points to be collected. 
“And you will collect all of them.”
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inkdrinkerworld · 3 months
Note
Hey could I possibly request an Autistic! reader x Dealer! Remus where r shows affection through biting so they'll randomly come up behind rem as hes with a customer (Or James/Sirius) and just bite his shoulder but no where near hard enough to hurt and they just stand there like that and the other person with rem gets a little confused but Remus is just completely unfased because R will do this all the time if they get overwhelmed and just need to be around Remus but is way to overwhelmed to hug him
That probably made no sense but my lil autistic brain came up with it while reading your dealed rem fics :))
Your autistic brain has made this perfect blurb be born!! Thank you for requesting and feel free to send more autistic!reader x whoever you please
You'd been sketching on the sofa in the dispensary, mechanical pencil scratching against the paper as music blasted through your headphones.
It wasn't the first time that Remus had you sit in the quietest corner of the dispensary while he was selling, and every so often he'd throw his gaze in your direction smiling quietly to himself when he found you relaxed and drawing.
"Are you sure this is all I can get?" Remus hates when customers get like this. He's been straining a new type of weed and it'd been a selective process, not wanting to waste too much of it in the event that it didn't do well.
He'd limited it to 7 grams only. It was still a lot, but to seasoned smokers, not really.
"Yeah mate, m'not trying to send anyone to the hospital if they green out." The man nods, asking Remus another question that doesn't register to you.
You're just on your way to Remus, you've been stumped by your drawing and being stumped has led to a bit of overwhelm that you know just how to get rid of.
Your hand presses into the small of Remus' back as you sink your teeth into the crook of his shoulder. You don't bite him for longer than ten seconds, not hard either- there's just the slightest imprint of your teeth in his skin when you pull away.
Remus turns to you, a question on his face that he doesn't vocalise. He doesn't need to- you've been together so long and Remus has worked hard to learn all your cues so that when you don't want or can't talk, you don't need to.
You shake your head and he nods once, the man on the other side of him confused as to the entire interaction. "Sorry mate," Remus says when you're back on the sofa, pencil tapping against your lip.
"That doesn't break skin?" the man asks and Remus chuckles, placing the baggie in his hand and taking the money from his outstretched hand.
"No it's sound, see you next week?" The man takes the dismissal, taking his weed and leaving. Remus turns in your direction.
He mimes taking off one of the ears of your headphones. "Everything okay?" he asks when you do, eyes roving your face and then taking a peek at your journal.
There on the pages are a series of sirens, all from different angles. The body twisting one way, then the other, some are swimming upside down, others are laying on a rock lower body hidden as they entice a sailor.
"Yeah, was just stuck on something. It helps." He knows it does, so much so that he doesn't even check on the mark. You lean into him when he takes a seat beside you, pressing a kiss to the bitten shoulder.
"You know it's okay, dovey." he whispers, patting your head and feeling you preen under the action. "Doesn't bother me." you smile where your lips are pressed into his skin.
"Can I do it again?" you don't sound overwhelmed but Remus nods. Your teeth sink into the same spot, Remus strokes hair back into your braid, cheek pressing into your head.
When you pull away, there's a little line of dribble moving with you. Remus swipes it away with his thumb, kissing your forehead as he watches you fix your headphones back on and pick up your sketchbook again.
You start a new sketch, one of a superhero Remus has come to recognise as yourself, equipped with your pink headphones as all, laying on a sofa much like the one you're sitting on now with a cat Remus thinks is himself sitting on the arm near your shoulder.
He sits with you until another customer comes in, eyes flitting to you every couple of minutes he's away.
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tunastime · 6 months
Text
do androids dream of electric sheep?
I am nothing if not a vessel for self-indulgent docsuma, especially @shepscapades's dbhc self-indulgent docsuma. sometimes you fall asleep in the lab, and sometimes your friend feels compelled to make sure you're okay <3
(3964 words)
Doc sometimes slips into daydream.
It’s not unlike him. He’d been doing it for some time now, some fix halfway between awake and Sleep Mode. Not quite his mind palace, but still wedged into predictive processes, still trying to work to replay memories. In quiet moments, more often than not, he finds that it’s easier to slip away, to tuck himself into his work, drafting, or building, or walking thoughtful circles and let the mechanical parts of his mind slip away into calculation.
In those same dreams, he tries to calculate the probability of events with what he has, blocking out the movements of who he knows best, who he may be able to pinpoint. He works in quiet as his mind runs in the background, wondering how conversations may go, how actions could be perceived. He maps what might happen if someone got hurt, or if someone needed help, or if someone fell asleep in the lab. Someone. Just anyone. He tells himself it could be anyone, but he would be lying if he didn’t know who.
It was hard, right—it felt wrong if he didn’t. Something he was designed to do, put to waste because it felt silly to imagine waking his lab partner, his friend, making sure he was alright, helping him. Was it wrong to want to be helpful? Was it wrong to want anything? It feels—it’s silly. Want was such a human word. He’s not sure he can really want at all. The paper in front of him is getting fuzzy around the edges, though, as he forces himself back into his true waking mode, and focuses on the task in front of him, now a line of text in his eyesight.
Doc leans hard on his hand, cupped around the side of his jaw as he studies the plans in front of him. He’s long since set them to memory, easily recalled with the summon of command, but he works out the fine details of the draft in front of him, still unsatisfied with his new creation. He works quietly, mentally mapping the lists of supplies he might need, the time it may take. If he were to concentrate the slightest bit more on the display in the corner of his vision, he might note how late it had gotten. Without any windows down here, the night sky can’t leak in, which means Doc doesn’t know it’s gotten dark until Xisuma starts to yawn or he manages to peek outside. 
He sets his pad down, eyes skimming the surface. Right, and where was X, anyway? The space, ever growing, up, down, sideways, that he used as his lab had gone still and quiet some time ago. Enough for Doc to take note of. Enough to be a little odd, he would assume, even for him, and the behaviors he knows well from Xisuma. Xisuma didn’t just wander off without a word—he was much too narrative for that. Doc sits up, hand falling to the table. 
“X?” he asks, furrowing his eyebrows. The room stays quiet, aside from the hum of recirculating air and electronics. Doc taps his hand against the table—it was some sort of tic he’d picked up from Ren, a sign of his impatience. He couldn’t shake the habit of mimicking it while he was thinking.
Okay, right. Last time he saw X. He gathers up the recall of the path Xisuma would’ve taken from his side, checking over his work at Doc’s request, and around the lab itself, looping back to a series of benches to work on. Leaning from his spot, he tries to pinpoint the peek of green helmet or shoulder piece. He finds neither in the direct line of sight, though, and slowly, bracing his prosthetic arm on the table, Doc stands. 
It’s a gentle quiet that fills the room, nice and easy and soft to step through as Doc makes his way around the space. Despite having another work bench quite close, Xisuma had a habit of leaving his stuff about, flitting between projects as he saw fit. It was interesting, sometimes, to watch him move around the room—not that Doc had done any of that. He seemed to bounce from point to point, sometimes staying still for hours, unmoving, lost in work. It was in those hours that Doc found himself watching, just for a moment, studying the shallow curve of his nose and the way his hair fell into his face from behind his helmet. 
His office is here, too. Though it’s no different than any other working space in terms of equipment, the space itself is fully outfitted, lined with tools and a large work table, his computer, a desk with a chair. Through the glass, he can see the shape of Xisuma at his desk, likely too caught up in whatever he had been working on to notice Doc’s concern. Doc pauses as he slides open the door, standing in the doorway, announcing himself to the cluttered room.
“Xisuma,” Doc starts. “I know it’s late, if you want to head home, I’m sure I can finish…”
Xisuma is slumped over on  his desk as Doc enters. There’s a brief moment, no more than a second, where Doc’s mind spins a scenario hard and fast, the crumpled shape of Xisuma over his desk. But he can see the slow rise and fall of his shoulders. He registers the slow, steady heartbeat in Xisuma’s chest, and his shoulders sag with relief. He stands in the doorway for a moment. Xisuma looks small, head pillowed on his arms. He’s still running a series of code on the console next to him, which illuminates the back of his head in pale lines of data. His hair falls half loose across his shoulder, like he’d forgotten to finish tying it away from his face, and the slow, deep breaths make it seem like he’d been sleeping here a lot longer than Doc realized. He’s without his helmet, too, which sits beside him on the desk, discarded.
Long enough to get a sore neck and complain about his upper back hurting. Long enough to worry that he might not be getting enough oxygen. Doc sets his shoulders. There’s something in his chest that feels like it skips—regulator, pump, or otherwise. They work in tandem to produce whatever fluttery feeling invades the space where his ribs should be. He presses the heel of his synthetic hand against the depression of his chest, rolling his wrist. The feeling fades for a moment, shuddering through his wrists like it might rest there. He was never going to get used to it, was he?
He steps into the lab proper, sticking his hands into his pockets. He picks his way around the room, trying to walk quietly around it. Xisuma stays asleep, shoulders rising and falling in that even tempo. Doc crouches beside him—Xisuma is properly slumped, back curved forward as he rests. What little Doc can see of his face is soft with sleep, eyelids fluttering just so. When X doesn’t move, he rests his palm over the curve of his shoulder, gentle and slow. He tries not to focus on the fact that so much of his face is exposed to him, aside from just his eyes and the bridge of his nose. He’s seen him before, briefly, every so often, but it was so different watching him now, calm and comfortable. Doc forces himself to focus.
“Xisuma,” he says, voice dipping low and quiet. He runs his hand over the part of his shoulderblade he can reach. He pats the high of his back. “Xisuma, hey…”
X takes a long breath in, making a squeaky sort of sound high in his chest. Doc feels him hum out from under his hand.
“Doc,” he says, voice rumbling in his chest. It was a tired sort of rumble, just on the edge of being rough with sleep, just enough to bring that feeling back to Doc’s internal components, like thirium was sludging too quick too warm through him. He huffs a little breath, a sound caught in his throat.
“You fell asleep at your desk, X,” Doc says, not able to weasel the amusement out of his voice. He runs his hand over his back again, just to see Xisuma’s eyes open tiredly, and shut again. It was so unlike the version of him that he knew in his mind, seeing him savor the brief contact, even from Doc. Especially from Doc. Xisuma was always the one reaching out for him, repairing or correcting or studying. All with purpose. There was no lingering touch between them. And though this had its purpose too, Doc lingered, feeling Xisuma breathe under his hand. 
“Sorry,” X mumbles, finally moving to lift his head, to open his eyes. Doc’s hand slides away as X sits up, over his back and back to Doc’s side. Xisuma blinks, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the heel of his hands. A frown comes between his eyes as he tries to focus the world around him a little clearer. Like it were mimicking the score across his cheek and nose, there’s a fine indent pressed into his cheek. Doc smiles at him, scrunching his nose in a way he’s seen X do a hundred times. 
Xisuma jolts, half reaching for the helmet beside him. If Doc were to really look, he might see the pink-red flush over his cheeks and ears.
“Sorry—I didn’t…”
There he lingers, halfway to reaching. Doc looks away from him, purposefully averting his eyes.
“I don’t mind,” he says. “You have to be comfortable too.”
Xisuma hums, smiling a little, hanging his head as he leaves his hand on the table.
“Hah,” he says, ears still pink. “Right. Sorry, sorry, Doc. Didn’t mean to worry you.”
“It’s okay,” he says. “I didn’t know where you had gone off to, so I figured I would come make sure you were okay.”
X nods. Doc watches him twist around, hearing the faint give and pop as his spine adjusts to sitting upright. 
“‘M alright,” he says. Then he laughs a bit—the sound is airy and half in his chest, enough to shake his shoulders but more of a wheeze than anything else. Everything fit so well to the timbre of Xisuma’s voice, it seemed, be it the way he moved about, or the way he laughed, or the way his shoulder sloped or face was shaped. Not that Doc had been looking. Regardless, Xisuma sighs, and smiles back at him.
“Just embarrassed is all,” he manages. “Thanks, Doc. I appreciate you.”
X leans back in his chair. Doc watches him resettle and hum to himself as he gets comfortable against the plush backing. Doc makes a clipped sound, reaches out and moves away again, halfway between shaking him awake and letting him sleep.
“X,” he says. “Would it not be more comfortable if you were sleeping in your spare room?”
Xisuma frowns. 
“Would be,” he says, eyes still closed, mumbling. “It just gets awfully cold in there. ‘N if I’m perfectly comfortable in here, why not stay tha’way?”
It’s almost amusing, the trickle of stubbornness that leaks into the tired slur of Xisuma’s voice. It’s almost endearing. He watches X fold his arms over his chest, armor only partly discarded, watches his face wrinkle as he notices and tries to rearrange himself. Doc smiles, something that he simply can’t help—it feels so right, considering how ridiculous this is. He considers his options and weighs the success rates, the action taking a fraction of a second in time, though the scene plays out in his head in full.
“Because you’ll hurt your back,” Doc says plainly. X frowns, clearly mulling it over. There—that’s one that Doc knows, that face, where X slips into thought and worries the inside of his cheek and works his jaw. Doc raises his eyebrows, as if to question him without saying anything, without Xisuma even looking at him.
“Mhh,” Xisuma huffs. He pulls his knees up. Somehow, he manages to fit himself into his desk chair, curling his tall body over his knees and leaning sideways into the back. Doc hums, makes the approximation of the sound he knows.
“Xisuma,” he says. “I’m not going to let you sleep in that chair, you know. You are being stubborn.”
“M‘kay, okay…” Xisuma wheezes, finally uncurling himself.
It takes him a second. Watching Xisuma stretch and blink awake is like watching him come to life. He stretches up and around, face pulling as he likely unsuccessfully shakes the tension from the line of his spine. As he twists, he freezes, face scrunching all at once as he winces, hand shooting up to cup his neck.
“Ow. Jeez.”
He can see it tight in his shoulders and neck, even as X deflates, looking up at him blearily, still slightly slumped in his chair. His eyes shut again. 
“Xisuma…” Doc says, mouth twisting.
X sighs.
“‘M fine, Doc,” he manages to murmur out. “Just’a sore neck. Mm’exhausted.”
“Sounds like you need a real bed, mm?” Doc replies, setting his hands on his hips. Xisuma peeks at him, one eye opening, and shutting again.
He sees the fraction of a smile lift the corners of X’s mouth.
“Sure, sure…”
Doc looks over Xisuma’s face. With his eyes shut, face softening, hair tumbling over one shoulder, he looks comfortable. It’s as if someone took a brush to his features and smoothed out any hard edge—either that, or the static has leaked back into Doc’s vision. He feels a chug in his chest and his joints as he locks up.
X hasn’t moved. Doc reaches out, tapping his knee. Xisuma huffs, clearly startled from the half-sleep he’d drifted back into.
“Too tired t’stand,” he manages. Doc makes a questioning noise.
“I think you can make it,”
There’s a beat of silence. Xisuma cracks an eye open again, shuts it, furrowing his eyebrows. Doc watches him curiously, mind running through the list of possible scenarios. He’s made it part way when Xisuma says:
“‘M using you t’stand, then.”
And he makes a little, amused heh, before he says:
“That’s fine.”
There’s something he means to say alongside that, but as soon as X’s very warm, very human hand makes contact with the fabric of his lab coat and the cool synthetic of his arm, he loses focus. He should be used to this—the amount of times X has performed his routine maintenance, sweeping his hands over the replaced shoulder joint to check for seams, or made sure the regulator functioned, or backed up personal data, fingers skimming the shallow port at the back of his neck. He should be, but that contact alone sends a prickling-warm jolt up his arm. It feels foreign to let the touch linger. But Xisuma lingers regardless, hand flat against the space where Doc’s left ribs should be. He’s gone from holding, to simply sitting there, arm bent at the elbow, held weakly up. 
“Mrghh…” he complains. Doc taps his elbow, trying to jolt him back awake.
“C’mon, X, you can get up.”
X shakes his head slowly, his hand finding the inner curve of his prosthetic arm, squeezing just once, like he’s remembering it’s there. Then, X leans into him, all at once, slumping into his chest. Doc lets out a wouf in surprise. He holds still, aside from the simulated breath in his chest. After a moment, Xisuma makes a small, tired sound, almost like a laugh.
“Houfh,” he mumbles. “I, mm, don’t…don’t think ‘m gonna make it, Doc.”
“Mhm…” Doc chides. 
Xisuma laughs again, lying still for a moment, voice still heavy with sleep. There’s a moment where he shifts, and there’s a small, painful noise that he makes.
“Ow, mrrgh—ow, okay—” he gripes. Doc’s synthetic hand finds the curve of his shoulder, patting gently.
“Oh, X—just…stay still, mhm?”
“Mm,” Xisuma says tiredly, “Alright.”
As much as he wants to move him, X is still wearing that damn armor.
Doc lets him lean into his chest as he tries to weasel off the bits of armor left over. It’s a struggle, keeping X comfortable and trying not to pull him around awkwardly, while trying to remove his chestplate with one hand. Once the armor pulls away, he resettles him, slowly scoops one hand under his legs. Something about this, about the way Xisuma leaned heavy into him, felt so painfully human he feels it curl up between the wires connecting his regulator to his side fans.
“Ready?” he says, mostly to the top of Xisuma’s head.
“Mmh…” X murmurs.
He hefts him into his arms, settling him against his chest. When Xisuma sighs, it’s profound and heavy and he tucks his face into Doc’s coat. Doc can feel the remnant of heartbeat from where his arm rests behind his back, thudding away behind his ribs. His breathing stays even, though shallow. One of Xisuma’s hands clasps over the back of his neck, keeping him still.
It’s a careful walk to Xisuma’s spare room. Doc is careful not to bump anything, measuring the subtle rise and fall of his chest as he walks. He drifts back to sleep, though, through the lab, through Doc shutting the lights off. He’ll have to come back through to power down their various computers, but for now, the dull white-blue glow illuminates the room. He carries him into the halls and through and to his room. It’s smaller than the room in his base by a sizable margin—just enough for the essentials. X stirs as Doc pauses to flip on the lamp, the light warm and yellow briefly illuminating the room. This can’t be a daydream, now, with the way X sighs and wriggles himself free as Doc pulls back the quilts and lets him down. He sits down with him, and the warm shape that Xisuma makes curls toward him, just a fraction, as he pulls the blankets over him. 
Part of Doc knows that Xisuma won’t remember him carrying him to bed, or making sure he was warm, or keeping the light on so he wasn’t disoriented when he woke. Xisuma sighs, sinking into the pillows, expression relaxed and content. Doc hums.
“That’s better, yeah?” Doc says. He reaches out, instinct, want, desire, something, hammering away in his chest, as he brushes hair from X’s face, tucking it behind his ear. He brushes through the hair close to the base of his neck, across his cheek with his synthetic thumb. His dark hair is fine and soft and it must be a daydream—or it isn’t and he was right, because there have been moments like this in his head. Wondering if Xisuma would let himself succumb to soft comforts. He’s spent his own share of time lying next to him, ignoring the way Xisuma curls up next to him, pretending he himself didn’t move closer when Xisuma lies still. It was this dance that Doc didn’t understand, that he wasn’t sure if he was overthinking. Or overstepping. But Xisuma shifts, pressing his cheek to Doc’s synthetic palm, and Doc suppresses a shudder. It sparks something that could’ve been painful right up his arm and through his chest, bright and warm and staticky. 
Doc hums, smiling to himself. Something like a dull thrum knocks in that space of his pump, pushing itself a little further, a little harder. It was sweet. X trusts him, not only to see him without his armor, but to help him to bed, to help him sleep. But Doc lifts his hand away, feeling that ache, the nervous shudder through his system.
X makes a sound, then, something small, eyes fluttering as Doc pulls away. Doc pauses.
“Mhh,” X manages. Doc swallows—he shouldn’t have to. That’s not something he should have to do, or be able to do, but the action just feels appropriate. It goes right along with sighing and laughing, and as he does it, Xisuma says:
“Thanks,” in a small, soft voice, and, muffled, and slightly slurred with sleep: “Didn’t have’ta stop.”
“You’re supposed to be sleeping, Xisuma,” Doc says. He can feel his temperature tick up several notches, no doubt a blue flush coming to the high of his cheeks, the bridge of his nose. He laughs, just a bit. “Did I wake you up?”
X sighs, stretching as he does.
“No,” he manages. “No, y’didn’t…”
“Oh,” Doc says. “Were you awake this whole time?”
Xisuma nods slowly. Ah. Ah. Doc dismisses a temperature notification.
“A little.”
“Mm,” Doc hums. “Silly Xisuma.”
Xisuma laughs. The sound is high and a little fuzzy and a bit caught in his throat. His bright eyes blink up at him and shut again as a smile settles on his face. 
“Doc?” he asks. 
“Mhm?”
Xisuma yawns, smothering it with the back of his hand, just barely. He tucks that hand close to his chest, curling up further still under his thick comforter. 
“Could you…could’you do tha’again? The…” Xisuma lifts his hand, miming a brushing motion as he does. Another temperature warning, higher than the last, blips into Doc’s field of vision. It’s immediately dismissed, but he pulls in a breath, quiet, trying to turn it into a soft laugh.
“I can do that,” Doc says gently. Gingerly, he brushes his fingers through X’s hair, sliding back against his head. He combs through, lifting his hand to go back to his forehead, back to cradle his skull. X’s eyes fall closed again.
Doc can tell the moment that Xisuma truly slips into sleep. He lingers in his space, tracing out the base of his skull with his thumb, taking in the sensation of warmth and contact and stimulation, fingers flickering white up to his wrist. He wishes biting down on his tongue would do anything. He wishes that the hollow of his chest didn’t hold a weight that no diagnostic could fix. He felt too awkward and stilted and not nearly gentle enough. But as Xisuma stays asleep, he draws his hand away. He mumbles his good nights as he stands slowly, shutting out the light and wandering from the room. 
He makes his way back into the lab. He replays the memory of Xisuma’s small smile, the fine line of his scar as he’d pressed his face into the pillow, the way he’d relaxed against Doc’s touch. He replays the memory, again, and again. It has to be a daydream. Has to be. There’s no other logical explanation to all of that.
Maybe that would explain the ache in his chest, far too human to be his own.
Doc goes back to work. He sits down at the lab table, spreading his arms as he braces against the white tabletop. He furrows his eyebrows. Something doesn’t feel right, too warm or out of place. He feels gross. Not gross bad, maybe, gross different? Broken? Not broken, maybe. Weird. Wrong. Out of place. It doesn’t make any sense. Or it has, and he’s refusing the obvious answer. Xisuma didn’t ask for any reason. Xisuma asked because he was tired, and tired people do silly things, and silly people are a handful, and Xisuma is a handful—a lovely one. Doc shuts his eyes. His chest hurts. It’s an awful hurt, actually, less painful than it is just weird. He thinks for a moment he might be better off if he left, maybe the weight of whatever lingered in his memory would be better off if he were to take a break from standing in the same spaces. 
He sends Xisuma a message. From his office, he hears his com ping.
Docm77 whispered to you… Xisuma I’m stepping out, sleep well :-)
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cassowariess · 13 days
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Look, I'm not a Gaiman fan, I've just been keeping up with the tag for updates about the allegations, and I have to say I'm deeply disturbed at how many young people I've seen say things like: "I want to kill myself" over the possibility of Good Omens 3 being cancelled.
I'm not going to scold you, but I cannot stress enough that this is not a normal response to have about a tv show, let alone any form of media. So as someone who lost a family member to suicide last year(for reasons unrelated to fandom) here is some advice I hope you will heed. Some of this advice is geared towards people with hyperfixations as I know the neurodivergent brain works differently.
First of all, for the future:
Do not put all your eggs in one basket.
It's going to become more and more likely in the future that you will be disappointed in someone who created something you loved. That's why it's important to have multiple things going in your life that keep you tethered instead of projecting all your emotional well being on the status of one thing. I know hyperfixations cannot be chosen, but extra interests can, so you need to cultivate a bunch of them. Go for walks and keep a nature journal, learn a new skill with free videos online (there are also communities built around certain hobbies like knitting etc so there's the possibility of making new friends too). You might not feel better right away, which is why it's important you do these things as a routine (such as once a week or more). It will flex and strengthen your emotional muscles.
It's not always possible, but have at least one of these interests be something that has nothing to do with being online. Maybe there's a book group in your town. Check local boards or listings for activities. Once again, there's the opportunity to make friends.
If you're stuck online, watch a movie with your online friends in Hyperbeam. Do this every week and pick a movie from a list of films everyone has chosen. Pick entertainment that has nothing to do with your fandom. Roll a dice for each week's movie.
If it is available to you, access therapy.
I realize this is not always possible due to costs or waiting lists depending on what part of the world you live in. Sometimes there are free groups that talk about depression. I live in the UK so unfortunately I don't know how prevalent this stuff is in the USA or other parts of the world, but your local council might have leaflets about community services and activities that are good for your mental health too, like community gardening once a week.
You don't need to tell the groups about why you are specifically upset, but you can tell them "life feels dull and pointless" which is why you're reading this, right? But the more you talk to people and try to do activities around other people, the less dull and pointless it will feel. I know it's hard to drag yourself outside, but it becomes easier the more you do it.
Talk to friends in your fandom, but also talk to friends that have nothing to do with it. I've been in enough fandom spaces to know how insular fandom can get and maladpative coping mechanisms some people can share that actually make things worse, not better. Go talk to some normies once in a while. Your fandom friends will still be there.
Finally, some suicide prevention hotlines, should you need them.
Link to international phone numbers and resources.
Look after yourself, remember people love you and remember, it's just a TV show. There will be other TV shows and other joyous things in your life, and next time you will have more of them. <3
Signed,
A fandom old who is not in your fandom.
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psychelis-new · 10 months
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pick a pile: "Your aura/vibe"
take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read about your aura's possible characteristics and your vibe, how people may perceive you even at a first glance/first impression. thanks @ghostlygardendelusion-blog for the suggestion.
don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.
(photos found on unsplash)
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I think your aura may have tones between yellow and green. On the first meeting people see your strength and determination, you may look a bit more reserved or closed off or even "showing off" in a way. But you have a big heart and some can see it too especially through your eyes or some specific behaviours (if you let them). You may have a bit of a wall in front of you caused by your past.
For some, you may seem a bit "too much" at first, or even too self confident/absorbed or too reserved, but it's generally a self-defense mechanism you adopted to hide your insecurity/shiness, and your pain. Probably you've been judged/gaslighted a lot. I think the way you grew up made it hard for you to speak about your needs and desires, about who you really are even, so you just started closing off and stopped talking but tried to fulfill your needs yourself the way you could (at least on your best days). Some may still be in that phase, others reacted by being more "out there" with their ideas and opinions too (and maybe even slightly stubborn about them). You may also be dressing in what society may consider a particular way or have a peculiar interest that not many may understand.
You look pretty independent because of your past, like if you don't feel too good, you rather keep it for yourself and put on a smile on your face and be there for others. Others don't ask you much of how you feel or similar cause you wouldn't answer them anyway or you'd tell them you're good so to not be a burden or something like that (actually, you're never a burden, no matter what you learned in your past). To be honest, you probably have started healing this side of you and this is why at times, on a first impression, you look a bit too full of yourself or closed off: you still need to balance yourself again but don't worry, you'll make it. Take your time and don't give up. People will be able to see your big heart and love the real you. Ofc, some of you are already showing it more and that's indeed the sign of the start of a new chapter for you.
For a few, you may still feel a bit lonely atm: please try to not give up and keep reaching for other people anytime you feel like. You'll meet your people this way, by keep trying to be out there, be more vulnerable/welcoming, and practicing socializing. You cannot always wait for others to reach out first nor you have to be there for them when you don't feel like: talk about your needs, even if it means needing a couple of days off on your own. Know ad appreciate your whole real self so to share it with others fully too. Speak more about yourself, the right people will love to listen. Find your audience.
And btw, I'm proud of how you made it 'till today. :)
song: thinking out loud | ed sheeran
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Your aura may have tones between pink and red, for some a bit dark orange-ish too. At first you may look cute and sweet, maybe even little/on the younger side, very welcoming/comforting, like the old friend you have been close to for a lot. You have an healing presence. You have shiny eyes. People may approach you and talk with you easily, maybe while you're in line at the supermarket or such. People feel like trusting you, some may feel connected to you and others may feel (also physically) attracted by you or want to protect you or save you. You may have venus in scorpio/venus 8th house or similar placements, but not necessarily. Some people may not like you to the point of hating you or may be envious of you for no apparent reason even (so sorry about it).
For others, people notice your drive and passion, how focused and hard working you are, how prepared you are especially in a school or work setting. Whether you work in a team or not, you may shine often in the eyes of your boss or professor. You're very goal-oriented, and are rarely distracted but ofc it can happen (ADHD I hear). You may work or study better, or just be more proficient in general, in structured setting or when you have a plan set and know what to do from start to end. Not having that or having to improvise may make you a bit nervous cause you don't have control over what you're doing (and maybe lack trust in yourself). Remember where you are, what you were able to reach in your past: there's nothing you cannot do if you put your mind to it and try to stay/work calmly and in a balanced manner. Breathe, as you may tend to stress a bit too much here and there and overthink (lot of air/mercury in your chart? I understand, dw). There're perfectionism tendencies here too, and some people may notice them as well (especially those who work with you). Confront your demons, those that tell you you're not able to handle certain situations: you can. You totally can. The moment you're sure about it, you'll be able to receive whatever wish you ever wanted. And you don't have to be perfect either. It's okay to make mistakes.
Also, people love you in general: just try to not be too self aware. You may occasionally fear others pointing out/focusing on your physical flaws or mistakes (we're all imperfect humans, so if they do this let them be in their mold as it's only their own issue: let go of control on others -you cannot control them and their thoughts of you anyway- and just enjoy, be in contact with your body and love your whole self. Others will mirror you and forget about any random flaw or error you may see in yourself/make. You're perfect as you are, there's no other definition of perfection).
And if you feel like you're too unexperienced (or for a few, others may think this of you and let you down), again let go and remember you can and have time to learn more and make any experience you want to do. Those people aren't for you anyway.
Don't mind others too much (especially if what they say is not objectively helping you in any way), just keep spreading your contagious smile, beauty, knowledge, passion, heart around. Envious people will always be envious, it's not your fault. Keep up the great work!
song: enchanted | taylor swift
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Your aura may be on the tones of light blue, blue or something like that. Maybe even indigo. Probably you're connected with the 5d/spiritual world too. You're thoughtful and you have a way with words that always gets people. Maybe you even work with words (writing/translating/teaching/communication/marketing/media/music...). You maybe also help others putting into words their emotions/feelings and help them feel better.
You look knowledgeable, you probably also have an higher education or are trying to reach it. You may love reading books and/or studying/learning. You look like someone that can be of support, with whom one can talk and share theirselves and not be judged. Someone who is able to make their reality come true. You feel very powerful and empowered, but you're also able of empowering others. You probably work in service fields, to help others too. Maybe you're a doctor/nurse or a psychologist. Anyway, you are balanced cause you know how to give yourself as well (or at least you're working on this: in the past you may have had people pleasing tendencies); I feel you may be saying some more "no's" and putting yourself first when you need, and that's good. Other see you as an angel, very open and helping. A true force of nature when necessary. Successful, in charge of your own destiny, and healing. Some perceive you as an example to follow in their life. For some, you're also a manifestation of a desire, a wish fulfillment. You may have the ability to pop up into someone's life when they need it the most, and maybe even disappear after your "job" with them is done. You may look like a loner or maybe it seems like you don't have many friends, but still you know a lot of people and are seen and thought very highly by them.
At times you may be feeling easily overwhelmed or overthink a lot, and those closer to you may realize it cause you tend to shut down or be a bit more on your own. Remember you can talk with people about your problems when you need (despite I feel like you may like to write your thoughts and analyze them the most, or are used this way). You seem to be pretty strong and wise, like you've been through a lot in your life and you're not that easily shaken by life anymore. But at times ofc it may happen... still, your mind is there to serve you, not to make it worse: remember you're in charge of your thoughts when things get tough.
Some people may really love you/fall for your ways and words. For some, you have become a source of support and help to those around you. You may be like a guide. Even if you may not be too close with people or the ones you've met, you're still a very important part of their life and/or a good memory they carry in their heart. For some of you, you may be(come) kinda famous/known at least in your area/field/school/workplace and people may be talking about you a lot. But generally, except a few ones, they will have good words about you and what you do.
song: butterflies pt.2 | queen naija
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soaringwide · 3 months
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Pick a Card: How to attract love in your life? ❤️
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Hey :p Welcome back to a new pick a pile love reading.
Today we're going to have a look at How can you attract love into your life. I'm going to look at where you're currently at, the things that work and the things that don't, practical steps you can take, and finally, the most probable outcome for the near future.*
*keep in mind that it's very hard with tarot to give a precise timeframe, which is why i say ''near future'', which might mean different things for different people. Also, the future is highly volatile and this might only be accurate for your present situation, and may be prone to shift if you make significant changes. As always, you are in control of your life so don't let a reading dictate what you should and should not do.
This is a general reading meant for multiple people so it might not resonates perfectly to your situation. Take what resonates and leave out the rest.
Ko-fi ★ book a reading ★ pinned post ★ instagram
PILE 1
Cards: 5 of Pentacles, the Sun, 5 of Cups, 9 of Cups, Strength, King of Cups, Ace of Cups, Page of Swords Reversed, the High Priestess, Ace of Swords, 8 of Cups, King of Pentacles, the Star, 5 of Wands, 4 of Cups, the Devil
You are currently trapped into a mindset of lack and feeling like you don't belong. You feel like there's something broken with you that stops you from getting the love that you long for. You believe that the warmth of love is being denied from you by outside circumstances and that you are unable to change that. Not the best place to be mentally and I highly empathize, I know how it feels…
What is blocking you is that you are spending a lot of mental and emotional energy feeling devastated for what you don't have. You may have known love in the past and you're idealizing that and feeling regrets over what you've lost. For some of you it might literally be because you wish you had this love back, but for others it could just be wishing for that sweet feeling again. It's also possible that, regardless of a past relationship or not, you are longing for a time in your past where things seemed more carefree and that you now feel somewhat broken. Feeling like things were so much more radiant and optimistic back then. I'm also getting that love might feel like the last thing in your life you need to feel fully accomplished and you're hyper focusing on that one thing, not seeing all the other good things going for you. There is this idea that you're waiting and waiting for the perfect occasion to show up while carrying these heavy feelings.
However, things are not fully bleak for you. You are extremely resilient and have spent a lot of time perfecting yourself. Despite your feelings of romantic lack, you keep working on yourself, be it your career, your passions and projects, or your own self. You keep things moving thinking that if love doesn't come, then at least you can make other areas of your life good. You're also able to set aside these heavy feelings in order to remain balanced. Like, you feel them, you're aware of them, but you don't let that submerge you and you keep living anyway. So you have what it takes to fix the issue, you just need to see it and start working on it.
Because the advice is that you need to release your defensiveness regarding love. I'm getting that you've learnt to be so firmly attached to this lack mentality and the failures you've experienced that it's making you shut down any possibility of romance. I'm seeing a pattern of starting to catch feelings and automatically cutting them off, distrusting them and retreating within yourself. I think this is a defense mechanism, which served its purpose for a long time but is now counterproductive. You may lack honesty with yourself and with potential partners because you fear showing your feelings, scared of getting hurt.
So it's natural that for what you need to embrace, a card of clarity and communication shows up. If you always hide how you feel to your love interest, most healthy people will not pursue you and instead back off not to bother you, since they think you are not interested. You must communicate how you feel and investigate the other person's wishes and feelings. There is also the need to be in tune with your own intuition and inner guidance, which seems to be muddied by your fears and unhealthy coping mechanisms. You must embrace tuning into yourself, where you will find the answer on what to do, because I really think you've go a strong personal guidance and you know who and what is good for you, and you can lean into and learn to trust that.
And it seems the practical steps you need to take at this present moment point at solving these issues first and foremost. You have unfinished emotional business that you need to leave behind. It's like it's cluttering your emotional life and there is no space for anything romantic to bloom. You need to make room for love in your heart by releasing these painful points we talked about earlier. The way to do that with the Star (feeling called to name the card so that you can look into it if you wish) is to embrace hope that things can indeed change for the better. Have faith that you can renew yourself and step into a new way of living. This card always reminds me of making a wish and believing it's going to come true, so have faith!
The near future cards point at you working on that. Breaking the chains that hold you down. It's a process that may look a little chaotic, and you'll go back and forth between not doing anything and pondering on what steps to take next, being indecisive, and then hastily trying out things in hope something is going to fit. I see that it's a learning process and you're going to need to find the right way to act. You are about to break those destructive patterns and make room for love to come into your life. I do not know when this is going to happen, but the work you'll be doing will make you happier and more balance so it's worth working toward for the sake of it. And all point at the fact that it's the best thing to do in your situation in order to attract love into your life.
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PILE 2
Cards: 6 of Swords, 7 of Swords, King of Cups, the Lovers, the Magician, Knight of Swords, the Fool, 10 of Pentacles, King of Swords, King of Pentacles, Queen of Cups, the Hanged Man, Knight of Wands, the Sun, King of Wands, 5 of Pentacles, Knight of Pentacles, Temperance
It seems you're currently in a post breakup phase, leaving something behind and wondering what's coming next. (if that's not the case, then that's not the pile for you). There is a sense of sadness and worry, but also hope for the future even though it is very uncertain. I'm getting that it's something quite fresh which will explain the current situation.
For what is blocking you, it seems you've been rendered very distrustful of love, and may even have been either cheated on, or betrayed in some way by the person you love(d). You have a hard time processing these emotions and it's stopping you from truly moving on. It's like you became disillusioned and don't trust romance anymore. You may feel angry and revengeful, bitter, in all cases, and it's coloring your view of love. Part of you is still looking over your shoulder at what once was, whether it's with regret and nostalgia or on the contrary with bitterness.
For what is going for you, it seems that despite that you desire a new beginning, a fresh start of some kind. You want to make a new relationship happen, one that will satisfy you in all aspects and that will be in alignment with yourself. I'm also getting that you're tired of being taken for an fool, fed up with giving your heart freely to someone who will stomp on it. I also see that you're determined to approach that with very upfront communication, seeking to be clear on your needs and boundaries, and that you are done with tolerating bullshit. It's also sort of like you want to get out of your current painful situation as fast as possible by finding something new, which does show up as a good thing however I'm getting the need for nuance here as you could be rushing too much as a way to run away from your feelings or perhaps get back at your ex by showing you don't need them.
You need to release this past relationship. It shows up as something that seemed like it was heading towards long term commitment, which makes it all the more painful. However, if things turned out the way they did that's because it wasn't built on solid foundations, and may not have been a good thing for you had it not blown off anyway. I'm also getting that this past-person probably embodied pretty authoritative traits, in a pretty tyrannical way, and it's leaving you, again, distrustful of future connections (or even of the whole gender of your ex partner). I think it somewhat robbed you of your own agency, made you feel weak and powerless, and there is a need to reclaim that power (you got ALL 4 Kings).
Which is shown in the next section with what you need to embrace. The cards point at the need to pick yourself back up and work on yourself, your abundance and security, which may mean focusing on other areas of your life for a while as a way to look in a different direction. Your heart also requires some attention and it would be beneficial to practice some self care, whether that means taking care of yourself from an aesthetical point of view (beauty, fashion, etc) or from a more holistic point of view (diet, exercise, meditation, etc). Make yourself beautiful for yourself and it may help you lift yourself up and feel better about yourself. This will allow you to shift your perspective, however, it will require some time and you will need to dive into it and think about the issue. You must understand that there is nothing more you can do to fix this past situation, and that it's okay to take time to think and embrace that moment of stagnancy that will help you give yourself space to heal and move on.
The idea of finding your power and sense of agency back is again shown in the cards that talk about the practical steps you should take. I'm getting that in order to do that, you need to focus on what makes you passionate about life, what lights your fire up and makes you want to pour your energy in. There is also the need to chill a bit and do things that seem fun and unimportant. Get silly a little bit, go out and enjoy the sweetness of life. Not everything is about romantic love and not only is it okay to do other things, it's also something you deeply need at this present moment to feel better. In all cases, push yourself to create some movement in your life and don't stay locked in alone, wallowing over yourself. I'm also getting the need to focus on things that are pleasurable, for your body and yourself.
For the near future when it comes to romantic love, I unfortunately think that for some time at least, you may still be alone and struggling with that fact, thinking you've been left with nothing and having a hard time processing your loss. You may want to take some steps towards new connections, but doing so very slowly and holding back a lot, so there won't be much progress on that side for a while. The focus will be mostly on healing yourself and focusing on rebalancing your heart. Trying to find hope and faith in love again. This whole process takes time but is very important in order to help you find healthy love again.
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PILE 3
Cards: 9 of Cups, Queen of Swords, 7 of Pentacles, 6 of Cups, Ace of Wands, the Chariot, 4 of Swords, 4 of Pentacles, Page of Swords, 10 of Pentacles, the High Priestess, 7 of Cups, the Emperor, 6 of Wands, Justice, Ace of Pentacles, 8 of Pentacles, the Sun
You're currently in a phase where you feel ready for love. You've established a lot of things for yourself and you're in a satisfying place in life. Not perfect, nothing ever is, but you've grown a lot recently that's for sure. And when it comes to love, that's your wish and you're currently strongly waiting for the time to finally come to see that wish come true. It's the one thing that you desire the most at the moment and see it as a potential for great happiness.
For what's blocking you, I see that you are perhaps a tad too focused on observing that wish form, growing more and more impatient, and as a result getting a but tyrannical with your mind. Like, things don't go as fast as you want them to, so you second guess yourself and lot, get anxious and frustrated with yourself. There is a form of naivety here, as if you were not the most experienced in matters of love. It could also mean it's been a while you've been in a relationship and the memories of your past love are being triggered and coming back to the surface, making it hard to deal with them.
For things going for you, you've gotten a lot of action oriented cards, showing that you are determined and driven to see your wish come true. You don't want to wait anymore and are ready to make a move once the opportunity shows up. You trust that you are on the right path and are ready for things to pick up speed. However, this might make you get a bit restless when again the right opportunity or situation doesn't show up fast enough and it's a bit exhausting for you because you put a lot of pressure on yourself.
Another interesting message is one of getting out of hibernation in some way, which is shown in your past-to be released cards as well. It seems you used to have a tendency to hold onto your feelings and intentions, never making your desires and wants known, reacting by being very defensive and guarded, and i think you've not quite released that old pattern totally yet, but it's in progress. I think you still have a tendency to put a wall between you and your love interest by fear of getting hurt and you keep your cards close to your chest because you want to make the right move at the right time and you worry acting out of sync and ruining everything. This is making you a little too controlling and calculating and not in flow enough.
So it makes sense that one of the message of things to embrace has to do with getting in touch with your more intuitive side, as opposed to your analytical side. I think you still second guess yourself a lot despite knowing when a situation has potential and all this worry is making you go back and forth a lot and is causing tension. I think you need to embrace your desire for long lasting commitment, which for some reason you might be scared to accept, as if you thought wishing for it would mean being disappointed when you don't get it. You're so fearful of being disillusioned and not seeing reality clearly that you put everything into question and confuse yourself. You need to know that it's okay to not be able to read other people's intentions, you're not meant to. Things will get clearer as they progress. Also, it's okay to daydream about the love you desire, and you should do more of that. Explore things in the safe space that is your imagination and allow yourself to imagine what you want the future to be like.
For the practical steps to take, there is a need to show up confident and strong, taking the lead instead of waiting for the other person to make a move. You know yourself and your boundaries and you can say what you desire. There is also the need to come up fair and honest, so don't hide how you feel, don't hide what you want, but honor your loved person with the respect that come with being upfront. Also, to answer your worries, go there with the confidence of someone who act as if they won, and by that I mean don't expect things to go wrong before you even know if they will but instead pretend victory will be on your side, because even if you're not sure, why automatically assume you're going to get rejected when you don't really know?
For the near future, I didn't go too in detail about your situation because I wanted to leave the message open, but I think for some of you there's already a connection in the making, and you're soon going to be handed a new piece of the puzzle that will make you see things in a new perspective and make things progress further. What it is I do not know, but the cards point at a phase of focused progress where someone or both parties are working toward a common goal. Again I can't say what that puzzle piece is, but there is a strong idea of that new way of seeing the relationship, or experiencing the relationship, that leads to a path where you'll be working toward something for this connection.
Finally, I just wanted to point out that the bottom of the deck was the Sun so it seems this is an auspicious time for you, so don't get too hung up in what doesn't work exactly the way you want and enjoy the ride!!
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magussanctorium-if · 4 months
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The Magus Sanctorium. Pentagiim's elite and esteemed school for mages across the continent. Hard to get into with an advanced curriculum and hands-on experience, many would kill to be accepted into the fray. But behind shiny spells and gilded bookcases belies a lit powder keg of pent up tensions and small slights that threaten the whole continent with all out war. A single slip up will light the fuse, so be careful. And don't forget your 7 page essay is due next week!
The Magus Sanctorium is a highly ambitious WIP and new interactive CYOA pair of games. The focus is heavily on romance, relationships, and fantasy adventure with high-replayability value. It is inspired by JRPGs, romance visual novels, any media with a magical boarding school, and Dungeons and Dragons, among others. It will lean more towards a story-based focus, but will have stat-based mechanics.
You play as a new transfer student, having transferred to The Magus Sanctorium after moving continents. Being homeschooled to suddenly thrust into an elite boarding school is a culture shock. As you go about going to classes and making friends, your schooling is abruptly upheaved as war breaks out across the continent. Which house you decided to join determines how the war will affect you and how you can help or hinder your former classmates or lovers.
Note: Because this is still a WIP, some names of characters or places may change during development.
Genre: Fantasy, Romance, Adventure
Rating: 18+
Tracked Tag: #the magus sanctorium
Status: In Development (Outlining)
Demo || Character Introductions || House Introductions || FAQ || Ask Guidelines || Tag Navigation || World Lore || Current Anonymous Survey Form || Dev's Main Blog ||
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Create and customize your character. Select their gender, pronouns, appearance, their proficiencies and deficits, and personality among others.
Choose between 5 different houses each with their own cast of characters. Each student is divided into houses by which nation they come from, not by arbitrary traits.
Decide how to build your stats by choosing which classes to attend and which skills to train in. Influence your house members to train or attend certain classes to boost group skills.
Romance any of the 15 romance options (5 male, 5 female, 5 nonbinary), or select any of the 10 poly routes instead. Choose for a softer romance by picking one of your house members or go for an angsty romance by romancing someone outside of your house.
Build your relationships with your classmates before you're turned against each other and get to know what makes them tick. It pays to have friends across house lines.
Explore and learn about a high fantasy world steeped in magic and years and years of conflict. Perhaps it takes an outsider's perspective to bring about peace...
Participate in a war and potentially reveal long kept secrets that could change the fate of Pentagiim.
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Thalen Oakdane (they/them) - The proud and rigid Leader of the Fern Bears, the house from the Rasuaides Empire. They are strict with their rules.
Sumiel Tidewood (she/her) - The graceful and shy Leader of the Cobalt Snakes, the house from the Espersland Republic. She just wants the best for everyone.
Casithar Seedcloud (he/him) - The young but earnest Leader of the Maroon Rams, the house from the Iseadesh Alliance. He's trying his best.
Ariela Wyvernhair (she/her) - The prickly but well-meaning Leader of the Violet Foxes, the house from the Lupuv Caelait Territory. A rose wrapped in thorns.
Zanis Ironforce (he/him) - The charismatic and cunning Leader of the Sun Eagles, the house from the Quailax Kingdom. He is always 5 steps ahead.
Drelyth Hollymoon (she/her) - The vice-leader of the Fern Bears. She is kind and confident, always pushing herself to aim higher and higher.
Afthel Scalesun (they/them) - A member of the Cobalt Snakes. Quiet and introverted, they prefer the comfort of their books than that of their house members.
Anwyn Greenspear (he/him) - A member of the Maroon Rams. He is a known flirt and playboy, often earning him the ire of his house members.
Lamatri Glowillow (they/them) - The enigmatic and mysterious vice-leader of the Violet Foxes. You barely see them, but they seem to know everything about you.
Traki Goldreaver (they/them) - A member of the Sun Eagles. It's also their first year enrolling. Enthusiastic and energetic, but a work-in-progress.
Azaha Elmbasher (he/him) - A member of the Fern Bears. An idealistic and daydreamer artist who enjoys making life hard for his house leader.
Rumik Gullcaller (he/him) - A member of the Cobalt Snakes. Sumiel's childhood friend, he is protective and intimidating often scaring away most classmates.
Daeri Silkdream (she/her) - A member of the Maroon Rams. A bit ditzy and arrogant, her exaggerated personality belies her true strength.
Saevain Sageblossom (she/her) - A member of the Violet Foxes. Stuck-up and arrogant, she has a family legacy to fulfill as a Prime Magus. But is that what she wants?
Cyian Stonepelt (they/them) - The vice-leader of the Sun Eagles. Gloomy and apathetic, they'd much rather be doing anything else but this.
Poly Romance Options: Thalen & Azaha, Sumiel & Rumik, Casithar & Daeri, Ariela & Saevain, Zanis & Cyian, Drelyth & Saevain, Afthel & Traki, Daeri & Afthel, Ariela & Casithar, Traki & Drelyth
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lizardboiii · 4 months
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At The Tone ┃ DCU
Barry Allen x Spider-Woman!Reader
┃ Summary: Sometimes bad things happen to good people - and that’s where the Justice League comes in. Too bad you weren’t interested.
“Think I forgot how to be happy Something I'm not, but something I can be" Billie Eilish, "What Was I Made For?"
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│cw: SFW, alcohol abuse, unhealthy coping mechanisms, grief, hurt/comfort, violent themes
│wc: 3.9k
│chapters: One shot
│notes: This fic has been sitting unfinished (with 2k words!!) in my drafts for a WHILE. randomly decided it needed to see the light of day ig. was gonna make it nsfw but i low key hate it and just wanted too move on oops. enjoy <3
・❥・
│One Shot: At The Tone
You have five new messages.
“Good afternoon, Spider-Woman this is Cla-”
You heard a throat clear.
“It’s Superman. I see you still aren’t picking up any of the team’s calls,” He swallowed thickly, “I understand your recent loss was… hard. Something none of us would have wished for anybody.”
You could feel the tension in his voice.
“Please take all the time you need. The league is more than capable of taking care of New York in your absence for the time being.”
The sound of a pen clicking disrupted the message every so often, “But at least give us some indication you're alive…and well. The team cares about you,” He chuckled warmly, “Even “Mr. I Work Alone” Batman himself.”
His laugh dropped abruptly with a soft sigh, “Call me back when you can.”
Beep
You crawled out of bed slowly, dragging your duvet behind you like a cloak. The plush cotton laid heavy on your shoulders. You wondered if this was how Big Blue felt every morning - the weight of knowing everything depending on him once he bore his iconic red cape. 
You knew what that weight felt like, and you knew what it felt like to have it all come crashing down.
You have four new messages 
“How’s it hanging, Spidy? Haha, you get it?” A dramatic sigh escaped the machine, “Sorry, poor timing.”
He took a moment to regroup, “It's Green Lantern, just calling to check in. Headquarters has been depressing without you. I mean even Martian Manhunter is down in the dumps. It's a total bummer.”
Another sigh, “Listen you don't have to call me back if you don’t want to, but at least let Flash know you're still alive. He needs you more than he lets on.”
Beep
You groaned at the shrill ring of the answering machine. The outdated tech was too cherished to be discarded but the pulsing headaches you received from it almost outweighed the fond memories of Aunt May.
Thoroughly woken up, you entered your kitchenette. Your eyes shifted between the week old coffee pot on your stove to the half empty Hennessy bottle next to it. 
Maybe this time you would make the right choice. A sober evening is a good evening. However, the battle was always rigged to begin with and the winner already predetermined.
The Hennessy felt burdensome in your hand as you took a long swig. It burned violently down your throat, eating at your skin, before finally settling warmly in your stomach. Though you hated to admit it, it satisfied you more than any pot of coffee could.
Staggering to your couch, courtesy of one of New York’s finest sidewalks, you flopped down. The cushions were well used and musty. But who were you to pass up a free couch?
You have three new messages
“Spider-Woman.”
There was a lengthy pause.
“Your recent inactivity has caused some concerns regarding your whereabouts. The league seems to be having a hard time focusing on missions with your absence.”
Bats’ uncertainty leaked through the phone as he thought of his next sentence, “You have my condolences, Webs. However, the league cannot continue to work with this distraction. Please report to the Hall of Justice immediately.”
He hesitated, “We are worried.”
Beep
An involuntary snort escaped you. Bats’ attempt at comfort was interesting to say the least. He was surprisingly awkward for a leader of the Justice League. Though you supposed dark and brooding was his brand.
You have two new message
“Greetings, Spider-Woman, Wonder Woman speaking.”
You could hear muffled arguing in the background.
“Batman may have been a bit…straightforward in that last voicemail,” She attempted a fake laugh, “Please do not mind his bluntness, he is merely just as concerned as the rest of us. In his own way at least.”
A loud slam made her curse under her breath.
“I apologize I must go, the “children” are fighting again. Don’t hesitate to call back. See you soon, Webs.”
Beep
Lifting the liquor to your lips, your brows creased when only a drop hit your tongue. Out already?
You let out an exaggerated sigh before placing the empty bottle on your coffee table. A quick glance at your barren pantry told you everything you needed to know. You’d have to go out and get some more. You felt your face scrunch. That means you have to go out in public.
You weighed your options. 
You could stay inside and continue to peacefully hide from the world, but you're guaranteed to sober up eventually.
Or you could make a quick trip to the convenience store down the road and pray the minimum wage employee can’t smell the alcohol on you from a mile away. 
You hummed thoughtfully. Though, now that you think about it, there’s a off chance you might run into the supe that’s covering your city for the time being. Then again, there’s a very high chance it’s not someone from the Justice League, a member from The Team at best. 
Massaging your forehead, you tried to remember the last time a Justice League member took a leave of absence. A blonde goatee flashed in your mind.
That’s right. Green Arrow was out for a while when he got busted up pretty bad. His protégé, Speedy, ended up babysitting Star City in his absence. You bit your lip. 
But you didn’t have one of those anymore.
You have one new message
“Hey Webs! Sent me to voicemail again, huh?”
An awkward laugh made the machine crackle.
“Just calling to check up on you. How are you doing? Feeling alright? Just say the word and I can grab you anything from anywhere. I mean literally anywhere. They don’t call me the fastest man alive for nothing!”
You could practically hear the large smile embedded on his face.
A large sigh passed through the speaker, “It’s been a month now. The team misses you…I miss you. A lot actually.”
He paused.
“Just call me back alright? I need to know if you're okay.”
Beep
Your hand paused over your front door handle. Flash’s deep voice was like a siren's call, beckoning you in. 
What you’d give to turn around. What you'd do to call him back. It took everything in you to force yourself away from his voice.
Your best friend. 
Your confidant. 
Your everything. 
You have zero new messages
・❥・
You weaved through the bustling sidewalk with a slight wobble, managing to dodge a third of the people you almost crashed into. Night was quickly approaching. That meant the streets were only going to get busier. 
More people = More crime = More superheroes.
Fumbling into a dimly lit alley, you avoided Main Street completely. It was too risky. Even in your civilian disguise there was no guarantee your voice wouldn’t be recognized - mainly by your teammates but especially by… Flash.
You recalled how often you sought each other out in the Hall of Justice. Whether it was meddling in the business of others, or simply enjoying the company of one another.
His hand always seemed to find its way to the small of your back. Gently resting. While his thumb delicately circled the thin fabric of your suit. 
He leaned in closer than he should. The dull smell of his cologne inevitably picked up by your heightened senses. 
It wasn't how friends should behave - but that's all you ever were. Friends.
Thwack!
You slammed yourself against one of the side walls in surprise, extinguishing your mind of complex thoughts. Creeping closer, you cursed in your head when harsh thumps and muffled grunting filled the air. 
“Where’s my money, Huey?”
Crack!
“I-I don’t know! Please!”
Whack!
You recognized the tell-tale sound of blood splattering against the ground, akin to paint splashing. The sound made you nauseous. Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you thought of your next move. 
Now, on any normal occasion you’d swing in all heroic and save the day. But today was different. You were different. 
Excuses flooded your brain as you tried to explain to yourself why you felt little desire to help the abused man. 
Your suit was at home crammed somewhere in between an ugly Christmas sweater and a latex bodysuit you practically begged Cat Woman not to give you. 
Even if you had the energy, you were still considered MIA to the league. You’d basically be spoon feeding them your location. 
Your internal dilemma didn’t last long as the pummeling swiftly came to an end. Peaking around the corner, you watched the assistants retreat into an adjacent alley. They moved lazily. Clearly they didn’t expect to be caught.
You could still catch them.
You found yourself making an internal description. Two Caucasian males both wearing black beanies and disgustingly outdated puffer jackets. The taller one sported purple and green. While the shorter preferred yellow. 
Your foot shifted before you felt yourself hesitate. Maybe you shouldn’t. They’d probably be caught soon enough anyways. 
If anything, the supe covering your city would swoop in and haul their asses to the local jail. Especially when you called an ambulance for the man who was passed out on the ground. It would put this area on tonight's map. You sighed and finally allowed yourself to relax. 
This was fine. 
Everything was fine. 
Shifting your eyes to the ground, you located the poor soul who suffered the attack. His breathing was ragged and wet. You were quick to put two fingers on his neck, checking for a pulse. A wave of relief crashed through you when you felt a steady beating.
Pulling out your phone, you immediately dialed 911 and requested an ambulance, anonymously of course. You stayed with the man until you could hear loud sirens growing closer. Your sign to leave. 
Exiting the alleyway, you reached the small convenience store in record time. The adrenaline in your system was starting to make quick work of the alcohol in your bloodstream. 
You could feel your senses beginning to come back. Eyes clearer. Ears sharper. You could practically hear the heartbeats of everyone in the store. 
Groaning at your misfortune, you beelined for the alcohol section in the back. My god was it beautiful. Itching to return home, you grabbed a random bottle that had the highest percentage. Taste didn’t matter. Only the effect.
Glancing at your selection you choked on your own spit. 30 dollars?? The glass bottle was swiftly put back as you grabbed the cheapest one you could find. Tucking the Shitty K under your arm, you turned to walk to the register.
“PUT YOUR FUCKING HANDS UP, OLD MAN.”
You froze. Extending your neck out, you caught a glimpse of the register. 
Purple, green, and yellow.
You had to be fucking kidding.
You watched as the two assailants from the alley held the elderly cashier at gunpoint. His form shook like a leaf. 
“Please! Just take the money and leave!”
You caught his eyes as he begged for his life. Tear filled and shaking. You could have prevented this. If you would have just stopped them when you had the chance none of this would have happened.
You could have saved the man in the alley. Saved the poor cashier.
You could have saved Uncle Ben too. 
Your eyes watered. Fucking pathetic mistake. What the hell were you doing? You weren’t a teenager anymore. You were a grown adult who should have learned from your mistakes by now.
Shifting your eyes from the vodka to him, you pressed your lips in a thin line. You didn’t know what hurt more. The fact that you were repeating past mistakes or the fact that you wanted to take the more expensive alcohol and leave unnoticed.
When did you become this? 
No wonder you let Spider-Girl die.
You needed a drink. Desperately.
Abruptly, a whiplash of red and yellow snatched you from your daydream. The streaking shape blew over the newspaper stand before spinning around the starstruck perpetrators. You knew those McDonald's colors from anywhere. 
Kid Flash.
Like any speedster, he removed the gun in milliseconds before tying up the confused robbers. They stood no chance against the meta-human.
Dusting off his hands, Kid Flash smiled smugly at the dumbfounded duo, “Guns aren’t currency, you know?”
The man in yellow thrashed violently, “What the hell-Kid Flash!? Why are you in New York? Spidey taking a break or something?”
You cringed.
Kid Flash’s boyish voice laughed awkwardly, “Something like that.”
You need to get out of here. Now.
Slowly backing into the aisle, you clenched your teeth when your elbow hit the shelf. The bottles tinked in a symphony, altering everyone in the store of your presence. Fan-fucking-tastic.
Instantly, you snatched your coat hood and covered your face and hair. Staring into the grime covered tiles, you prayed Kid Flash wouldn’t think too much of it.
“Hello?”
Of course. The one time he’s actually thorough.
“Are you alright?”
Bright yellow boots came into your vision as you tried to conceal yourself further. You hunched into yourself with clenched fists. Mistaking your actions for something else, Kid Flash placed a gentle hand on your shoulder.
“Hey, hey it’s okay! You don’t have to be sacred!”
You bite into your lip eager to escape the conversation, “I’m not. Please let go.”
Kid Flash laughed, sounding a little too similar to Flash in your opinion. Removing his hand from your shoulder, he stood next to you with his hands on his hips. 
“Then why are you hiding?” A red glove entered your vision. It was headed straight for your hood.
You slapped his hand away, “Didn’t your parents tell you not to talk to strangers.”
He shrugged, “That rule doesn’t really apply to superheroes.”
You couldn’t contain the breathy laugh that left your throat. You hate to admit it but you actually really missed the kid. 
However, you failed to realize your mistake. If anyone knew your laugh it was Kid Flash. You spent way too much time around him and Flash for him not too.
There was a long pause. 
“…Webs?”
You flinched hard, “Wrong person.” You internally cursed at yourself for the obvious slur in your voice.
“Are you drunk?”
“…No.”
His hand grabbed your upper arm tightly, “Where have you been? Are you okay?”
You gently pulled against his hold, attempting to break free without force, “I’m fine.”
“No you aren’t,” Kid Flash raised his hand to his ear piece, “Just let me notify Flash-”
“NO!”
Your arm flew up to the communicator without thought. Taking advantage of his surprise, you were able to snatch the high tech earpiece from his loosen grip.
“Hey!” 
Kid Flash grabbed at you. His lanky limbs attempting to reclaim his lost device, “Let go!”
“You let go!” You shoved his face away with the palm of your hand. 
Kid Flash merely continued to grab at the air around you, “Never!”
If this was any other situation you would have laughed. The pair of you looked like children fighting over the last dessert.  
However, this wasn't just any situation. This situation involved Flash. 
“Listen to your elders you brat!” Finally, after a well fought struggle, you managed to hold the device out of arm's reach. A much needed success after the month you've had- 
“Webs?”
You halted in your tracks.
The small communicator in your hand blinked on and off, identifying an unstable signal. 
“Webs is that you?” Flash was urgent, “Wait there! I'm coming-”
You crushed the device in your hand. Terrified.
Small fragments engraved themselves into your skin, dotting your hand red. What have you done? 
“Batman’s gonna kill you for that, you know?” Kid Flash laughed in an attempt to lighten the mood. 
You frowned, uninterested in entertaining him. Kid Flash merely smiled awkwardly. It was evident the boy was taken aback by your unusually serious demeanor. 
The thought didn't take up much space in your mind. You could only think of one thing. When would Flash decide to appear out of thin air?
As if conjuring the hero, a red bolt flew through the mostly empty convenience store. The glass doors shook from the force. While newspapers scattered through the air, Vogue landed atop the cashier's head. 
Though he moved faster than the speed of light, he stood before you still. Unmoving. It was as if you might fade away if he got too close. 
“Webs,” His voice was laced with reverence. 
Your mouth went dry, “Flash.”
The tension between the two of you was thick enough to cut with a knife, suffocating you. Maybe this was how Flash planned to get back at you for ignoring him. Slowly killing you with hypoxia. A metaphorical death pertaining to how he felt during your absence. 
“Woah, this just got really awkward.” 
Kid Flash’s voice suddenly reminded you of his presence. He swayed uncomfortably. Trapped between you and Flash.
The younger male pointed his thumbs at the door, “Should I leave…or?”
“Yes.” 
Startled at your synchronous voices, Kid Flash quickly shuffled toward the door, “Alright. See you later?”
Flash nodded his head in response, ushering his protégé away. Kid Flash couldn't leave fast enough. Magazines, once again disturbed, twirled around the ground from where he left.
You stared at the loose paper. Preferring the sight of perfume ads then whatever expression Flash held. From the corner of your eye you should see him shift. He moved with unease. Your mouth curled slightly. He never was able to stop moving for long. 
“Webs, I-”
You cut him off, “I’m sorry.”
Flash furrowed his brows in confusion, “You don’t need to apologize. It's not your fault.”
“But it is,” You clenched your teeth in frustration, “It's always been my fault.”
The taller male crossed the space between you hesitantly. You flinched when he placed his large hands on your shoulders, completely engulfing them. 
“It wasn't your fault, Webs. Nobody could have known.”
“I could have saved her,” you finally met his gaze, “I was right there.”
You saw his eyes widen slightly, clearly used to your masked form more than your real face. 
Your name spilled from his lips. 
Not just Webs - your name.
You took a shaky breath, “Barry.”
The name was foreign on your tongue. You had tried to keep your personal life separate from hero work. Though that only lasted a year. Barry managed to weasel his way into your home life before you knew it.
You wouldn't have it any other way.
Barry’s hands slid from your shoulders down to your hands, caressing them softly. “Believe me when I say this,” He took a deep breath, “I’ve been in your position before. We all have.”
Breaking eye contact, your stare bore into the wall of cheap booze, “I know.”
“And I know,” He cupped your cheek, “That drinking away your problems won’t help. It only makes it worse.”
You bit your lip, “I just want to forget.”
“I know. God, I know. I want to go back and change that day every time I open my eyes,” He placed his head in the crook of your neck, “But I've been down that road before. And it's not sustainable.”
Your eyes felt hot, your throat dry, “I don’t know what to do.”
Barry pulled your smaller frame into his arms, “No one does.”
You sunk into his embrace, inhaling his scent.
“Let me take you home, Webs.”
“Okay.”
・❥・
You held tightly onto Barry, arms circling his neck, as he brought you home. You had barely enough time to blink before you were standing in front of your apartment’s door.
Barry hesitantly let you down from his hold. Though his arm stayed wrapped around your waist for support. You gave him a gentle smile as a thank you. 
Unlocking your door, you were immediately reminded of the state of your apartment. Dirty laundry and loose items scattered the floor. 
Shame crept up your neck. The uncaring attitude towards your humble abode seemingly disappeared.
Barry entered slowly, taking in the messy state. His eyes were quickly drawn to the empty bottles strewn about your floor. Unsurprisingly, he began to pick one up. Then another. And another. You snapped when he started to replace your trash bag.
“Barry.”
His head whipped toward you, only focusing on you.
“That's enough,” You tried grabbing the bag from him, “You don’t need to.”
Barry held onto the plastic tightly, “I want to.”
You shook your head, “It's my mess. Leave it.”
“No.”
You jolted in surprise at his commanding tone, “Why?”
He tossed the bag to the side, “Why?” 
Laughing dryly, he shook his head, “Why not? Why wouldn't I take care of you?”
You averted your gaze, “I don’t need you to take care of me.”
“But you do,” his voice was imbued with desperation, “If you didn’t, I wouldn't have spent a month doing everything in my power to find you!”
Your face felt hot, “I didn't ask you too!”
Barry closed in the space between you, “You didn't have too!”
You weren't sure when the tears began to pour down your cheeks, “I never wanted you too! I just want to be alone! Why can’t you let me be?”
“Because I can't let you be!” Barry’s hand slammed down on your tiny island counter, “You're all I think about! From the moment I wake up to the time I go to sleep, all I know is you. I would rather you hate me for the rest of my life just to see you for a moment than ever ignore you.”
You felt like a deer in headlights, “What?”
“That day when Spider-Girl died,” He gripped the counter, slightly cracking it under the force, “I felt like I lost a piece of you too. And I could bear it.”
You felt like you lost your breath when Barry met your gaze again. His eyes were laced with anguish. Bloodshot rims already forming.
“I know you're hurting. I know what I am experiencing is nothing compared to what you are going through,” He searched your eyes, “But I'm in love with you! And I have been for as long as I can remember.” 
The start of a cry made his voice waver, “And this is definitely poor timing for a confession, but I can’t lose you-”
You weren't exactly sure which one of your muscles was still intact enough for you to move. However, the feeling of plush lips against your own thwarted any other thought.
Barry stood rigid for a moment. Hands clenched at his sides. Then, he dominated the kiss like his life depended on it. His hands held onto your waist tightly, before slowly making their way to your face. You couldn't remember the last time you felt this happy.
Pulling away, you took shallow breaths, “I love you.”
Barry smiled and swiped a loose teardrop from your cheek, “I love you too.”
The warm moment didn't last long. Your mind was quick to remind you that there was a reason Barry had to confess in a messy studio apartment rather than someplace special. That reason was because you were broken.
You pressed you mouth into a thin line, “Do you still want me even if-”
“I want you no matter what,” Barry didn’t allow you to get another word in, “We can go through this together.”
He placed a soft kiss on your forehead, “You're not alone, Webs. You never were.”
You swallowed hard, “Together?”
"Together."
・❥・
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dyns33 · 8 months
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The way to communicate
Being a while since I did a Din Djarin x female reader.
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It was rare for Din Djarin to get angry.
It's hard to say if it was because of his creed or if it was in his temperament, but he did his best to always keep his cool.
Becoming the father of a little green gremlin who had a hobby of getting into mischief probably forced him to be even more patient than he was before finding the kid, or meeting Y/N.
Even when the little one put himself in danger, Din didn't scream. Maybe he knew it wouldn't have any effect on Grogu, but he gently picked him up, using an equally gentle voice to scold him.
“I already told you not to do that.” he often sighed, patting the child's head. "You know you risk choking if you swallow a whole frog. Especially since you've already had two meals, you're not hungry."
“Gah !”
"No."
Y/N watched the scene with sparkling eyes and trying to hide her smile, because a great Mandalorian warrior, no matter how patient, probably wouldn't like to be thought of as adorable. He was supposed to be scary and awesome.
When he was with Grogu, Din Djarin wasn't scary at all. He didn't scream when the little one drew on the walls, or hid in a corner, or played with the buttons. Never.
Of course, it wasn't the same with enemies or bounties. He didn't like killing, he would avoid it if possible, but he had no problem accomplishing his mission without the slightest remorse. It was the Way.
Honor, strength, and protection of his clan were his priorities. As he was patient, Din was discreet. A man of few words, preferring actions.
Because of this, Y/N wasn’t sure where she stood in relation to his family. After she helped him find a former Empire general, while risking her life to protect his son, they had stayed together.
At first, Din had considered himself indebted to her. Then, he offered her a job, seeing that she took good care of Grogu when he was absent and that she had some knowledge of mechanics, very useful when the ship had some problems.
But could she consider herself a member of the clan ? Y/N wasn’t sure.
It would have been easy to ask the Mandalorian directly. He would then have clearly answered whether he saw her as a member, or as just a flying partner who took care of his child.
Asking the question directly meant taking the risk of having to face reality and accept the possibility that she wasn't as important to Din as he and Grogu were to her.
She therefore preferred to say nothing and take advantage of the time offered to her with them, experiencing many adventures, as well as wonderful moments.
Until the announcement.
"There are no new contracts at the moment and Grogu needs some rest, so we'll head back home to Nevarro."
"Oh. Okay. I'll probably go to Coruscant then. You can contact me if necessary." Y/N said without looking at him, continuing to play with the kid.
"… I'll drop you off."
The silence in the ship grew colder than calm as they headed toward Coruscant.
Rather than wait to get there, Din decreed that it was necessary to make several stops to buy supplies, check that they had enough energy, that the engine had no problems, and lots of small details that wasted their time unnecessarily.
"We could do all of this on Coruscant. It's not that far."
“I don’t want to take a risk.”
"But we checked everything before the last mission and…"
“I said we were stopping for water !” the Mandalorian then repeated with a loud voice and violently placing his hands on the dashboard.
This made Y/N jump, but also Grogu, who stared at his father with wide eyes, full of surprise and fear. Visibly ashamed of his reaction, Din sighed before muttering that he needed to cool off, leaving them alone in the cockpit.
Things didn't get better when they arrived in Mos Eisley. Not really wanting to stay idle, Y/N took advantage of the little one's nap to go for a walk in the market, while Din chatted with Peli.
She didn't want to go to Coruscant at all and all these stops might have been a blessing, but like with a bandage, she knew it would be better to leave right away rather than torture herself like this.
It was normal that the clan wanted to go home to rest. It was normal that she wasn't invited since she wasn't part of the clan.
What was less normal was Din's behavior, who seemed to avoid her as much as possible and be tense whenever they were in the same room. He had no reason to be angry with her, who continued to work normally despite her sadness.
The situation was also complicated for Grogu, who felt that something was wrong between the two adults. The poor kid ate less, sticking to Y/N every chance he got. It was almost impossible to get him off.
So Y/N wanted to take advantage of this little moment alone to get out of the ship and clear her head.
She didn't expect to be caught by bounty hunters who had spotted the Mandalorian's arrival. Despite Moff Gideon's death, there were still some people who wanted Din Djarin's head.
Since he was training Grogu to be a fighter, Din had also shown her some techniques, so she could defend herself if needed. Although he always added that it wouldn't be necessary, since he would be there to protect her.
Fighting a nice Mandalorian who held back his punches was one thing. Trying to do the same thing with three guys who didn't care about hurting her was something else.
Fortunately for Y/N, when she had just taken a blow to the nose which had made her fall to the ground and the leader of the gang approached to pick her up, Din arrived at that moment, quickly shooting the brigands without missing a target.
He then ran to pick Y/N up and take her back to the ship to tend to her injuries. Wanting to help when he saw her bleeding, the kid used his powers before his father had time to grab the first aid kit.
The panic subsided, a long silence returned, only broken by the little noises of Grogu asking to be carried by Y/N. But when she moved to lean towards him, the Mandalorian spoke.
"What possessed you to leave alone ? Without a word, without saying where you were going ? You were lucky that I noticed your absence and went looking for you."
"I didn't think I needed permission. And I didn't ask to be attacked."
"That's not what I said. But you could have gotten kidnapped ! You could have died ! Why didn't you tell me you were leaving ?! I thought… I thought that you left us. That you had gone to find another means of transportation to Coruscant."
“Why would I do that, since you’re taking me there ?”
“Don’t pretend to be stupid !” Din then shouted, pointing at her, almost scaring her.
The gesture probably scared Grogu more than her, who knew he was going to do nothing but scream like an idiot, but something happened that they would have thought impossible.
With his powers, the child pushed his father against the wall of the ship, as far away from Y/N as possible, then he jumped on her knees, clinging to her while moaning in fear.
The two adults remained frozen. Even though she couldn't see his face, Y/N could guess Din's shocked and hurt look, who understood that his son had thought he was capable of hurting the one he seemed to consider his mother. He saw fear in Grogu's eyes.
"No, I… I shouldn't have shouted." he whispered as he sat on the ground, lowering his head in shame. "Sorry."
"It's okay. I know you weren't going to do anything."
“Obviously he doesn’t know.”
“He doesn’t like shouting.” Y/N said, stroking Grogu’s head to comfort him. "He doesn't like arguments. We should go to Coruscant quickly, it would be better for everyone."
“You really want to leave us so quickly ?”
Din's voice almost broke at the end of his sentence. Y/n stared at him, but he didn't raise his head to look back at her, thus not seeing that she didn't understand his question.
"… You're the one who wants me to leave. So you can return to your home to Nevarro."
"… I meant our home. Grogu, you and me. I thought… I thought you understood, Cyare, but you rejected the invitation. I thought I misunderstood and that you didn't want to to be part of our clan."
“You mean… I’m part of the clan ?”
"Of course." the Mandalorian whispered, finally looking at her. "Mesh'la, we have traveled together for so long. We fight together. We raise Grogu together. I know our customs are different, and we haven't taken our vows yet, but…"
"Our vows ?!"
"… Yes. I've been courting you for a while. You accepted the gifts. You train with me. You let me kiss you. I didn't think it wasn't clear. Forgive me, cyare, I shouldn't have had any illusions."
Words were less important than actions to the Mandalorians, even if they had certain songs and rites. Y/N totally didn't understand that receiving a weapon and touching the helmet with your forehead had special meanings, and Din hadn't told her that.
In his corner, Grogu had only understood that his parents loved each other, because that was obvious, and they just needed to be together to be happy. The rest didn't matter.
All it would have taken was for Din to take them back to Nevarro without opening his mouth, and Y/N would have been surprised but delighted to be welcomed into their little home. Instead, he had tried to communicate, and it had been a disaster.
Now the son was afraid, trembling against Y/N who was processing the fact that Din had been thinking about marrying her for some time, until he realized that he had done everything wrong.
He had yelled at his clan, even if it was because he was afraid of losing Y/N. He hadn't known how to protect them properly. He was covered with shame.
"I don't want to go to Coruscant."
Since he didn't move, too busy determining if he had poked his head by being thrown by the Force, Y/N slowly got up, keeping Grogu close to her, to join him on the ground.
"I was disappointed that you didn't ask me to come. It wasn't clear to me that I was part of the clan, but it was my dearest wish. To stay with you and the little one. If you still want of me…"
“Cyare !” Din sighed, taking her hand. “Nothing would make me happier.”
“Bah ga ba !”
Grogu stirred then, patting his father's hand insistently so that he let go of Y/N's, his large eyes piercing the Mandalorian's berskar.
"... I have already apologized."
“Pato !”
"… I'm sorry for scaring you, and for yelling at Y/N. I won't do it again. I will never hurt any of you. And I'll make sure there are no misunderstandings before drawing conclusions."
“Aaaaaaaah.” was Grogu's response, who smiled again, holding out his arms to be picked up by Din, who complied without hesitation.
This made his parents laugh. They hadn't laughed in a long time.
The ship's coordinates were changed to go directly to Nevarro. No need to make any more unnecessary detours, since all the stops they had made so far were useless. Din was only trying to buy time, not knowing how to get Y/N to stay.
“So, you talked about vows ?” she said shyly as they landed, the kid sleeping on top of her.
"Later, Mesh'la. My request wasn't very romantic."
“Mandalorians worry about romance ?”
"No. But I imagine it will please you."
Y/N could have said she didn’t need all this. Knowing that he saw her as a member of his clan, as the mother of his son, was enough. But she didn't want another misunderstanding that might hurt Din, and she would be happy to be his wife, so she just nodded.
There was no more arguing, no more shouting. Not even when Grogu swallowed the ring that Din had the Armorer make. He simply sat down in a corner, grunting while tapping his helmet, while the little one hiccupped, regretting having eaten the little shiny circle.
“We can get it back in a few days.”
"No."
“We’ll clean it up.”
"Cyare, there's no way I'm giving you a gift that was eaten by the kid and which passed… Hmm !"
Luckily, the ring was spat out, but it took a while for Din to agree to take it back, and then officially offer it to Y/N. He insisted on going to Mandalore to purify it in the waters, while announcing to his peers that he would soon have a riduur.
He didn't bring Y/N and Grogu with him on this trip. The little one was too tired, and someone had to watch over him.
“Karga could have kept him.” Y/N remarked when Din had returned.
"He would have ended up losing his mind after Grogu destroyed everything in his office. I don't think the kid would have liked to be left alone either. Besides…"
"What ?"
"You are beautiful, Mesh'la. Some Mandalorians might have wanted to take you. I would have had to fight and kill them to prove that you are mine. I preferred to avoid that."
It sounded ridiculous, but he said it very seriously, his tone quickly becoming dry and somber.
Din Djarin did not often get angry, except when it concerned the protection of his clan, when someone tried to hurt them or take them from him. He hid his anger and jealousy beneath his armor, but it was there, ready to come out against those who had the audacity to confront him.
But never against Y/N and Grogu. Only for them.
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foone · 2 years
Text
My one bit of advice I think every gamer should hear:
GO PLAY OUTER WILDS.
Seriously. It is easily one of my top 5 games of all time, and that's mainly because I'm being cagey about if it's the #1, because it probably is.
It's a game where you're a little alien who is taking their first flight into space, in their little spaceship. You go to space and find a mystery, and have to figure it out.
It's a game entirely about learning things about the world you're in: it's a tiny solar system modeled amazingly well, with varied planetary environments, archaeology, and quantum fun.
It's a game that's hard to talk about without spoiling, because it's about solving the mysteries. There used to be some other aliens here, they're long gone. What happened to them? Their whole society was built around trying to find something: what was it? Did they find it? And there's a weird disastrous event that keeps happening, why? Can you stop it? Should you stop it? Is it connected to the other weird things that keep happening? What happened to that ice planet that exploded with vines? One of the astronauts who came before you was the best pilot who ever lived, but they vanished. What happened to them? And why can you sometimes hear their harmonica over the radio when you point it at your own planet?
The game is wonderful and non-linear and the most unique approach to a Metroidvania I've seen years: it's basically "what if we did the Metroidvania idea but with no items or power ups? What if the thing that you got to unlock new areas WAS INSIDE THE PLAYER'S HEAD?"
Because you don't unlock the next area by picking up the high-jump boots, you unlock it by learning something new. Now you can do something you didn't realize you could before, but now you know you can.
And that's only one of the amazing concepts they stuffed in this game. The itemless Metroidvania, the tiny simulated solar system, the quantum mechanics... Each of these alone could be enough to carry an indie game. They stuffed them all in one game combined with a great story, and that's in a gamewith relatively little dialogue!
There's like a dozen people to talk to, but you spent a lot of time reading conversations left by the long-gone aliens. You get to know them, what they were working for, how they interacted, and what happened to them, thousands of years later. It's less the bioshock style audio-logs, and more like going over bits of ancient writing, making connections and correlations from the fragments you can find.
And don't get me wrong, this might sound like this game is going to be dry and boring: it is so very not. It is a game about mysteries in the void of space, the death of a civilization, and the potentially world-ending dangers that face a living one, and even bigger concepts. It could so easily be a cosmic horror, about the cold death of space and the universe itself, and the nihilism of realizing that even a race that could cross the gap between the stars and bend spacetime to their will... They too died out. If they couldn't make it, what hope do you have, in your little spaceship that's primarily made of WOOD?
And yet... The game is always engaging. It has a few scares, and space is never a safe place to be, but it maintains a sense of humor and wonder. Yes, the universe can be scary, but it's also amazing. And you're just a little salamander-guy who wants to see it all, and figure out all the things. Maybe you don't know something yet, but tomorrow is a new day, and you can go blasting off to another planet, find some writing in a city suspended upside down over a black hole, try to fly into the core of a water planet, dodge giant anglerfish inside the warped space of an exploded planet, and try to explore an ancient city that's slowly filling with sand. It is a game about Things Ending, and it refuses to give into despair. It is one of the most relentlessly optimistic games I have ever played.
And the experience of playing it is so unique. This isn't a game where you could watch a letsplay and only get spoiled on some plot points, it's a game where the fundamental gameplay loop is about learning things. You should try it for yourself. It's got hints and many different avenues to explore (and it even keeps track of them for you, in case you forget!), so you don't have to worry much about getting stuck for too long. You can always put aside a "puzzle" and come back later, after you've learned more. (I put puzzle in quotes because it's not exactly a puzzle game. It's more of a mystery game. You aren't solving a logic puzzle or putting the pegs into the right holes, you're asking "Why is this like this? Where does this go? What is this for?" and then figuring that out from clues)
It's like 25$ on steam, and you can get it for Playstation and Xboxes as well (sadly no Switch version. They were working on one but it seems that version has stalled, with no announced release date)
You can probably get it for like 10$ if you're patient and wait for a sale.
One final note: there's also a DLC. The DLC is fully self-contained, in that you won't miss anything playing the main game without it. It basically adds a huge side-area to the game which goes and fills in some gaps in the history, explains some things, and introduces some more variety to the Outer Wilds universe.
It's utterly amazing, too. It's basically Outer Wilds 2 in everything but name, but it's totally fine to just grab the base game and play that. You can always come back and grab the DLC later if you want more Outer Wilds.
Seriously. To sum up, Outer Wilds is one of the greatest games ever made, it won a ton of awards, and it should have won more. They should invent more gaming awards just to give to Outer Wilds. This is one of the games that is going to be talked about in future "history of gaming" classes and put on lists of the 50 most groundbreaking and influential games, alongside things like Myst and King's Quest and Zork and Mass Effect. It's just that good, that groundbreaking.
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abalidoth · 1 year
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Replanting (Chapter 1)
[read on ao3]
When you feel the missile clip the corner of your mech's leg joint, you know it's over.
It feels like a line of white fire directly to your brain; your pain and the mech's mingling. But pain is nothing, pain is your every day. It's the immobility that terrifies you. Your mech knows before you do that the leg won't work, can't carry you back to base.
They won't send a field repair team out this far, not into enemy territory. Not even for the material outlay of the mech. You have no illusions of what would happen to you if they had to extract, but at least it would be fine, given a new pilot and allowed to keep doing its duty.
Don't think like that, it sends to you. I don't want another pilot.
You struggle a few dozen meters until the residual coolant in the leg motivators gives out and the intractable hand of physics pulls your mech to its knees. A cloud of dust billows up around you and you give up the rest of the way, mech lying on its side amid the baked earth and the scrubby bushes.
Creosote bush, the mech says. Didn't know it grew this far north.
You know it's just trying to keep you from panicking. It's not working -- you can feel your heart racing, the connection gel around you contracting in an autonomic effort to keep you from thrashing in the cockpit. Worst of all, your handler's ever present voice in your ear has gone silent.
A pilot's job is to keep its mech moving. No more and no less. You know there's no real affection from your handler, that her ministrations are part of the system, but you can't think about that sudden abandonment without a pang of grief. She should be there, she should always be there, but now there's nothing. Silence and static.
That feeling gives you a rush of adrenaline, coarser and hotter than the artificial flush the mech gives when you complete an objective, purely a product of your own withered adrenal glands. You have to get back you have to get back. You struggle to your knees, planting the mech's hands in the caliche like anchors and shoving so hard you feel something pop. (In you? In the mech? Is there a difference?)
You make it another hundred meters before you fall again, and the Caskie mech finds you, hitting you with an EMP before you can take them down with you. It lands with a jumpjet hiss in your sightline, so you're treated to the view of the alien-looking mech opening its canopy wide, two pilots getting out of the crude-looking mechanical cockpit.
---
They salvage the mech with you in it.
The pilots didn't seem to know what to do with you; you could hear from your outboard sensors that they were discussing in that strange, fluid accent how to get you out without killing you.
(You don't understand why that matters.)
Eventually, they just called for reinforcements; three heavy carriers showed up some indeterminate amount of time later. They haul your mech, pilot included, through the air on a frankly ridiculous web of heavy cables. You see the desert fade to green, canals threading through the land like veins, as you pass from the disputed zone into Union territory.
Your mech keeps a constant stream of commentary, talking about the plants that it sees, pointing out where old semi-arid forests have been restored. Its voice across the neural tunnel holds false cheer, picking up whenever you start panicking, but the enthusiasm is genuine.
Finally the carriers land at a base. It looks much like Conclave military architecture, concrete in utilitarian blocks, but you can see shining glass and chrome off in the distance, a city. They must want to keep you a ways away from civilians. You suppose that's fair.
They land you in an empty mech bay. It’s been cleared out hastily – you can see the Union mech that used to reside there off to the side, plugged into an aux power array. Your mech is not the right size, not the right shape, but a gaggle of mechanics come out anyway. They locked a restraining clamp on you at some point so you can't move, can't fight. Still, the mechanics move around you warily, like you'll snap and take them all out at any moment.
You would, in a heartbeat. Not just to get the euphoric response, but to quiet the anxiety, the feeling that you're entering a world where you don't have the tools to survive. But you can't, and a quiet part of you (or the mech) is relieved at that.
They strip your mech of all its weaponry, a harsh and hasty disassembly. You feel each removal sharply. Not physically -- mercifully, the mech has dialed down the haptic connection so it's left to suffer alone -- but in loss of potential, the closing of options. 
Finally, when everything is done and your mech is defenseless (other than being a fifteen ton vehicle) a tall woman in a labcoat comes out, flanked by guards with red cross emblems on their sleeves.
"Hello," she says. Her voice is formal, neutral. Lower than you expected, with just a hint of that singsong Cascadian accent. "Can you hear me? Or see me? We have sensitive solid-conductance microphones on the outside of your mech so we can hear you if you speak."
You know the trainings. A pilot is part of the system, part of the Conclave war engine, and cogs don't speak. Your tongue flicks idly against the suicide capsule in your back left molar. You go to press in on it.
You feel something, like a hand, guiding you away. A great wave of fear washes over you, and you know it's not yours.
Please. No.
You stop. Think a moment. 
"Hhhhh."
It's been a while since you've spoken. Just whispers in the dark with your handler, words carrying neither voice nor meaning. Your throat is dry, and you feel for a moment like it's not there. (Why would a mech have a throat?) You clear it, and try again.
"Yes. I can hear you."
She nods. "Good. I'm Dr. Mia Crane. I'm required by Cascadian Union treaty to inform you that as a prisoner of war, you have rights including food, shelter, protection from torture, and the right to ask about your other rights." She adjusts her round framed glasses. "I'm required by basic hospitality to ask you your name."
You pause. You know what names are, of course. Your handler's name is Rebecca. But that's not something pilots have. "I, uh. No?"
She blinks, a little taken aback. "Okay, well, we can work on that. Do you at least acknowledge your rights as a prisoner of war?"
This isn't going to end until you acknowledge, you feel, so you just say "Yes."
"Okay. Is there anything we need to know before we get you out of there?"
"I don't want out," you say. Your throat tightens.
You can't stay in me forever. It's okay. You'll find a way back to me.
You hear a hissing sound, and the low, sick gurgle of the connection gel draining out of your suit. Before you understand what's happening, the canopy drops open and you stagger out of the mech onto the diamond-patterned steel catwalk.
The sharp edge of disconnection, the sudden hole where there should be something inside you, keeps you off your feet. You stagger to one knee, felled as surely by shock as you had been by the missile.
The guards rush over to you and help you up. You want to fight them off but your muscles are jelly. Your head hurts.
Dr. Crane looks you over. You know she's not your handler, but you reach for the familiarity anyway, half expecting the usual routine, the ministrations that get lost in the foggy haze of post-battle euphoria. If your arms weren't being held for your own stability, you'd start opening your suit.
Instead she shines a light in your eyes and asks you to stick out your tongue, making notes on a clipboard as she goes. She puts a strip of fabric around your arm and it gets tight for a moment. "Elevated heart rate and systolic pressure, pupil dilation is beyond what I consider normal."
Your heart hammers in your ears. The smells around you -- the saccharine sweet of connection gel, your own body, something undefinable coming off the doctor, heighten to a nauseating strength. Your head hurts. "Are you going to..." You swallow. "Do you have the syringe?"
Dr. Crane tilts her head. "The syringe?"
"When the..." How do you explain this? You haven't had to explain any of this, people just know what to do. "When I'm done. Rebecca, she has the syringe, it's blue, and."
"Do you know what's in it?" she asks, gently. Too gently. The words are too soft, they smother you, it's too hard to breathe.
Your head hurts. The lights beat down.
"No, but it... she... always..."
Your head hurts.
Your head hu--
---
There are voices.
At first you don't care. You just want to go back to sleep. But there's something wrong with your bed, it's too soft. And the voices don't sound right -- that soft lilt, one you've only recently heard.
"Patient has been stable for six hours. Their heartrate is still a little funny, and I'm not sure this godawful cocktail of tramadol, modafinil, and tricyclics we pulled out of their tox panel is good for anything other than keeping them from dying of withdrawal, but we should be seeing them awake soon."
"Thanks, Dr. Chen." You recognize this voice, soft and husky -- it's Dr. Crane. "Have you figured out the... um. Mortality problem?"
"Part of it is that stimulant cocktail, I'm sure -- we haven't had the chance to pull in a full Conclave mech with pilot intact, and our field teams don't have the tools to stabilize someone as quickly as we were able to do here. But the most likely reason... false molar full of tetrodotoxin. We made sure to extract it. Carefully."
You probe the back of your mouth with a sluggish tongue. There's still a tooth there, but it feels strange. The one that had been there was artificial already, of course, but this one is much smoother, more like the rest of your teeth. Something lightens within you -- you've lost an option, sure, but maybe you were never good with options.
"Fuck," Dr. Crane says quietly. 
"That's not all," Dr. Chen says. "There's extensive neural grafts consistent with the autopsies we've performed, but... there's something weird going on with the brain activity scan. I'm not sure what the Conclave is doing to their people, but it's scary."
"Nnn. 'M not," you say.
There's a rustling around your bed. You open your eyes and blink against the sharp light a few times, and eventually the face of Dr. Crane comes into focus.
"Hey," she says. "Glad you're awake. How are you feeling?"
You have no idea how to deal with this. Never expected to be in a hospital room of all things, being treated like valuable materiel instead of ammunition. So instead of answering her question, you just repeat your previous statement. "I'm not. Person."
She gives you a look you don't really know how to read. You never had to get all that good at reading faces, but you suspect this one might be hard even if you did.
"...well. Anyway." Dr. Crane clears her throat. "You had a medical emergency when you left your mech. You mentioned something about a syringe? I assume that's part of your post-operation routine? We've got you stable now. We're going to give you about another day to rest up before we bring you in for questioning."
"Questioning?"
"You're the only Conclave pilot we've brought in alive," she says, with a twist of her mouth. "It's damn near impossible to piece together any information about Conclave technology and hierarchy. I should know -- I'm the Union's top academic expert in Conclave culture and I always feel like I'm flying blind."
That was... a lot. You just nod.
"So you said something about... not having a name? Do you have something you'd like to be called? I know you're technically a prisoner, but you're safe here. People will respect what you say you are."
She says that last part with a lot of emphasis, a particular gravity to the words, but you're not sure why. "No."
"Okay. Designation number?"
"They re-assign our numbers every week so we don't get attached to them," you say.
She says a word under her breath that you don't know, other than that your handler says it when she gets mad.
"Alright." Dr. Crane takes off her glasses and pinches the bridge of her nose. "How about I just call you "Pilot" for now?"
That's what you are, and you don't see why that's so difficult, but at least this line of questioning seems to be over when you answer yes. She promises to check on you in a while, and leaves.
---
You dream about vines.
They're all over you. You haven't seen many vines up close -- there was sparse ivy on the back of one hangar for a little while before Maintenance took care of it. But you feel you know these.
They aren't strangling you. It almost feels like a caress, like the flight suit, like Rebecca's post combat care, but not quite any of those. It's pleasant. Cool rather than warm, and calming.
There is intense pain in your arms and legs, but it doesn't bother you. It's like someone is telling you that your limbs are being shredded, but the pain isn't getting through to the part of you that cares. It's just another sensation, less pleasant than the vines but certainly not bad.
You feel things you can't explain. A name, a pull in a direction that's not physical, feelings and sounds beyond your ability to parse. They build to a crescendo, and you wake with a shout. But at the edges of your awareness, the green is still there.
---
The next morning, you're herded into a shower stall with a clean jumpsuit, a washcloth, and a bar of soap. You clean yourself off as well as you can, given the circumstances. The soap has a soft smell to it, and no grit. It almost doesn't feel like it's cleaning you at all, without the scratches.
You knock on the stall door once you're finished dressing, and the door slides back. In addition to the two guards, Dr. Crane is there. She's wearing the same white coat, but her hair is pulled back, and she looks even more tired.
Still, she manages a slight smile. "Pilot. Did you sleep well?"
"No," you say.
"Ah. Well, hopefully we can help with that tonight. In the meantime I have some questions for you."
You follow her through a maze of white corridors, lit with skylights. Your sense of direction was never the best (your mech always took care of that, you think with a twist in your gut.) You wouldn't be able to find your way back if you needed to.
She leads you to a room with two chairs, both of them plush and soft. You feel like you're sinking into it; she looks like she's perched on hers. She balances her clipboard on her knees and starts in eagerly on the questions.
There's a part of you that feels you should shut up, refuse to answer, let them finish the work they didn't let your false tooth start. But one handler's as good as another. You're a weapon, and weapons know no loyalty. So you answer -- even when the questions don't make sense, or aren't about obvious things, or are about things you've never been allowed to see.
The reactions don't really make sense to you either. You talk about some of your worst missions, and she seems sad but like she knew what was coming; you talk about your handler, and she's gripping her clipboard so hard her fingers go pale. You stop trying to understand what's going on, and try to hit the same state of unconscious action that you do on a sortie. Question, response. Question, response.
There are a few about your accommodations. They're fine, of course. You have little standard for comparison, and if she asks if you need anything else, you feel she won't leave you alone with a "no," so you ask for books. Rebecca was always reading when you were doing synch tests.
After what feels like the whole day, Dr. Crane lets you go. She doesn't ask you any questions about the haze of green starting to fade in around the corners of your vision when your mind drifts, so you don't volunteer any information.
---
The next day's meal comes with a couple of books, and Dr. Crane seems determined to find you the right reading material because every meal tray thereafter has more. There's a shelf in your room for the purpose. It was a ruse at first, but it is genuinely a better way of spending your time then staring at the wall.
There's more questions, along with a handful of medical tests, supervised by Dr. Chen. Dr. Chen's questions are even stranger than Dr. Crane's, but at least they seem satisfied with the answers given by the scans and blood draws.
A few days pass until you get a good enough feeling of the layout of the facility to know which direction the hangar is in. You occasionally see Caskie pilots in groups of twos and threes, talking and joking with each other. No handlers, no augments that you can see -- if you hadn't seen people in those same outfits walk out of their primitive looking mechs in the desert, you wouldn't believe that they were pilots at all.
All of them are coming and going in the same direction, and it's a direction that Doctor Crane and your guards never take you. So naturally, the first chance you get when both of your escorts are distracted and you have the chance, you peel off that direction and start running.
Your augments sing as you stretch your legs. They’re not like infantry augments (or so you’ve heard) and they don’t have auxiliary power – you can feel them burning away your body’s energy, energy that would normally be supplied by your mech. But your desperation fuels them just as much as your calories do, and the initial burst of speed and agility is all you need.
The facility is confusing as always, but you spot a sign that says HANGAR and get reoriented. Startled cries fly in your wake, doctors and workers and pilots confused at your frenzied speed. Something that might be an alarm and might just be lighting flashes at the corner of your vision, nearly obscured by the green.
You get lucky, and a mechanic is coming through the secured door at the checkpoint at the same time you arrive. You take advantage of her confusion and duck underneath her outstretched arm, through the door and out into the hangar bay.
It's not hard to find your mech. You remember the layout from your brief spell of consciousness after arrival, the way your mech looked so different from the rest and didn't quite fit into its space.
You pull up to a stop, wheezing from exertion, and look at it with dismay.
Your mech has been dismembered, all four limbs strewn about the bay hooked up to various pieces of testing equipment. The body itself is on a riser jack, slightly askew like there wasn't the right connector to fit it, hooked up by thick cables and patched-together connectors to the exposed limb contacts. The canopy stands open, the inside unlit but visibly cleaned of leftover connection gel.
The sight makes you sick. You hold it down, but barely; but the nausea makes it hard for you to resist when a burly mechanic comes up behind you and wrestles you to the floor.
You're not sure you would have, anyway.
By the time Dr. Crane has shown up, your face is wet with tears and snot, and your breath comes only with sobs. You're still being pinned to the ground by a mechanic, but she's not putting her full weight into it. She more or less let go when you started crying.
Dr. Crane pushes through the crowd of onlooking mechanics and kneels down in front of you. "Are you all right?" she asks.
At first, you think she's addressing the mechanic; it would be such an incongruous question to a pilot about to be terminated for insubordination. After a silence disproves that theory, you shake your head and gesture with one semi-restrained arm to the mech. "No."
"I'm sorry, pilot," she says, "but you are still a prisoner. I'm going to request the board not to restrict your access for this, given that you didn't really hurt anything -- and I'm sure they'll listen to me -- but you surely didn't think you could just get back in your mech and run away?"
"No," you say again, frustration at your own inadequate words prompting a fresh fall of tears. "It's... you're hurting it, you're..."
Things click together, things that you've always known. Feelings shared through the neural tunnel, deeply held beliefs that couldn't be kept from a pilot. You understand, now, what your mech was trying to tell you all along.
"You're hurting her."
Dr. Crane looks from you, to your mech, back to you. She goes pale.
"Are you telling me," she says quietly, "that there's an AI in your mech? A sentient AI?"
You nod. It's too late to lie, now. To protect her. The green in your vision threatens to overwhelm you. You're sorry, so, so sorry...
"A sentient AI that... we have been effectively torturing for four days. Fuck." She takes her glasses off, buries her face in her hands for a moment. "I can't believe that didn't come up during questioning."
It could have. You had avoided the topic, because you were afraid of this happening -- your greater part, torn away and experimented on because you couldn't keep her safe. You had always heard that the Union had strange beliefs about machine minds.
Dr. Crane looks around to some of the mechanics. "Anyone who was working on this mech -- did you have any idea there was a sentient AI? Any anomalous readings?"
"Some anomalies came up in the report that indicated synaptic activity in the post-0.4 Turing level," says one mechanic, nervously playing with their hair. "But everything about Conclave tech is anomalous. Kinda got buried in all the other weirdness."
"Okay." Dr. Crane sighs. "Can we get some input/output hooked up to her, please? And give her her limbs back."
One of the guards flanking her frowns. "I don't think that's a good--"
"She's a prisoner of war, Ortega. Pretty sure removing a sapient being's body parts is against something in the codes. Not to mention the First Principle."
Ortega sighs, and waves some mechanics over.
---
They don't know what connection gel is, but it doesn't matter. The sensation of her against your skin is important, but not as important as just reestablishing the connection.
Dr. Crane apparently spots your longing glances towards your mech, and takes you by the arm. When you flinch back, she holds her hands up in a defensive posture. "I'm sorry," she said. "I was just going to guide you over there again."
There's a lot of activity going on in the hangar, between the mechanics re-arming your mech and the other pilots getting suited up to react in case she tries to start killing people. (You don't think she's going to, but you suppose you can't blame them too much.) It would be a shame if your reunion with your mech got postponed because you got beaned in the head by an inattentive mechanic carrying a crysteel strut, so you offer your arm to Dr. Crane again and she guides you through.
You don't want to take too long, but you're only going to get to do this once. You run your hand over the lip where the canopy seats into the body, feel the soft seal and the framework beneath, then lift yourself up over and inside the cockpit.
There's no gel, so you can't hear her voice right away, but you know what to do. Years of drilling guide your hand to the hidden compartment with the emergency connection pads. It falls open with a clunk, the ribbon cables and connection pads jutting out in a fall like vines. One on either temple, one on either side of the chest, one on the back of each trembling hand. You're probably being watched, stared at as you have been since you broke into this hangar, but you don't care. She's here.
Hello, love.
You shudder, come apart, not in a procedural way like with your handler but in a form that shoots through to the very core of you. Untouched, but undone. You have no words for her, but you know she can feel your relief and your joy. You crumple, weeping, and run your hands over the familiar inside of the cockpit.
The green in your vision doesn’t go away, but it recontextualizes. It’s her. It’s the part of her that lives in you, a fragment within a fragment.
It's a little while, just basking in the connection, before you realize you've fallen in an uncomfortable position. Your skin, your joints, protesting their treatment. You reorganize yourself, pull yourself from the connection just long enough to get there. 
They've hooked a set of speakers up to her ports. They come to life with a spiky flare of static as she finds her voice.
"Hello," she says. You can feel her voice from inside and outside, through the tunnel and through the skin of the mech. "I am a Conclave of God Armored Forces Samson-B Light Interdiction Unit, but I would prefer if you called me Acacia."
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faeiri-tft · 11 months
Note
PLEASE do the toontown online rant i want it so badly
this post kinda got away from me, and by "got away from me" i mean this 3000 word toontown rant is Part One. there will be a Part Two to this later in which i actually talk about the fanservers i wanted to talk about. anyway let's go
toontown online (tto) was a children's mostly-turn-based subscription MMO released in 2003. after a few years of obviously being on life support, disney gave a one-month notice that tto (and several other games) would be closing on september 19th, 2013. on the same day the game closed, the fan-run server toontown rewritten (ttr) was announced (with multiple other fanservers/fangames/reimaginings being established since), and is a few months away from outliving the original game
see, one thing about tto that allowed fanservers to crop up so quickly and easily was that it had, um, interesting choices. very interesting choices. like, "kids could use a code injector to turn their backyards into giant mashed-together nightmarescapes"-level choices
youtube
(loose video description: a rabbit toon running around a chaotic mismash of rooms, obstacles, and npcs that Should Not Be There. audio caption: Evanescence's "Bring Me To Life".)
but ok let's talk about the actual game first.
toontown online (tto)
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the game starts with you creating your player character - you can pick from eventually-9 species, a couple body types, and 2 dozen preset colors. the gender code is a spaghetti nightmare but you won't learn this until the fanservers come about so don't worry about it. you're then taken to the Toontorial, which explains maybe 20% of the game's mechanics before setting you loose into the main game
the toontorial also gives you the basic "plot", such as it is: Toontown is suddenly* under attack by a bunch of boring businessrobots called the Cogs. their goal is to turn toontown into a dreary gray featureless corporate hell; their business activities are so boring that they're physically painful to be around. luckily, they can't take a joke, so the toons have figured out how to defeat them: by playing pranks on them until they laugh so hard they Explode
*originally, the game installer had a little animation giving a backstory for the Cogs' creation. this was never referenced in game, removed pretty quickly, and i think even the devs kinda forgot it existed
that's...pretty much the whole story! in that context, your toon progresses through all of toontown, helping some mostly-pretty-interchangeable shopkeepers, reclaiming buildings from the cogs, eating ice cream, etc. occasionally, the cogs would Come Up With New Tricks (read: major content update) and the toons would Find A Way To Fight Back (read: same major content update). that was the closest thing to Plot, unless you count "the devs scheduled a bunch of invasions of high-tier cogs right before the game's closure". but...i doubt most the kids really expected a Plot. mickey mouse was there
the gameplay:
the Free Account
there were two...pretty different approaches to playing toontown online. when the game launched, there was a 3-day free trial to the entire game, after which you got kicked entirely until you subscribed. at some point, this was changed so that the first area, Toontown Central (TTC), was Always Free - you could do all of that area's quests/"taskline" and limited activities, indefinitely, and in theory this would make you beg your parents for the rest of the game
i have no idea if this actually got more subscriptions or not. from what i can tell it just spawned more warrior cats
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(source)
there were. a Lot of warrior cats. there were some other social activities, too, such as Fashion Shows (with your limited range of clothes) and Begging Subscribed Players To Summon Cog Buildings To TTC and Getting Chat Banned. ...however, as one of the subscription kids i didn't really interact with this side of the game, so i'm not the best person to talk about it
2. the Paid Account
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mmm look at those crisp clear graphics. hell yes
a subscription account gave you access to this whole map, along with all these areas' tasklines. to progress through the game, you must complete a variety of "ToonTasks" for the Toon Resistance (it's called that. their catchphrase is "Toons of the World, Unite!". you were giving disney money for this). these reward you by increasing your max health (your "Laff Points"), slowly unlocking more combat options, and sending you to different, higher-difficulty areas of toontown
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some of these tasks were...longer than others. generally, though, they all boiled down to: "just go fight some cogs"
combat:
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(source)
toontown battles are turn-based: the players use their attacks ("gags") first, and then any surviving cogs attack you with, usually, office equipment and puns thereof (unless the cog is e.g. a Loan Shark, in which case they can just fucking bite you). if you defeat a cog, it explodes; if the cog defeats you, you "go sad" and are sent back to the safety of the playground, lose your gag inventory, and can't leave until you heal.
early on, most your battles are 1v1, but later on almost everything is a multiplayer 4-ish-v-4.
an...interesting feature here in the game's early days was that you could only Type Your Own Words to someone who shared their "friend code" with you IRL. otherwise, you had to use this thing:
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(source)
you had a set list of phrases you could string together, which generally covered most the things you wanted to say. but it could get frustrating when you wanted to have a real conversation with your toontown friends! so...as the source above mentions, people obviously found ways around the system. turns out that if you let players move objects around their houses, they will use that to Draw Letters and pass their friend code along regardless
eventually - before the warrior cats, of course - disney presumably realized this system was pretty goofy (🥁) , so the game got a real chat, albeit one that functioned on a very strict whitelist. my favorite is that it didn't let you type numbers, however you could just say won too tree for hive etc. like. disney i really don't know what to tell you. anyway
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(isn't he charming)
cogs come in levels 1-12, with levels displayed above their heads, and as you'd expect their damage output and HP increase with their level. however, the game doesn't...actually show you cog HP? instead they have a little colored light on their chest that fades from green to red until they explode. you see numbers on all the damage you do, and you see your own HP/laff, but never the cogs'. also lategame cogs are Too Tall For You To See Their Level once they line up for battle (which isn't actually that bad but it's funny). there's a formula for HP per level, but it's never mentioned in-game. i guess someone can teach it to you but then you have to watch them type "a level tin cog has won tree too health" and is that really worth it
(as you can tell i just…don't get this. "my kid is practicing arithmetic with toontown!" - marketing angle expressly denied by god. the stealth edutainment was right there)
anyway! in theory, you have seven base combat options ("gag tracks"), which combine in a variety of ways:
toon-up, which restores your teammates' health;
trap, which does guaranteed high damage but only if someone uses lure;
lure, which stuns the cogs for a few turns and is the only way to make trap work
sound, which does low damage to every cog;
throw, which does medium-high-ish damage to one cog; multiple throws combined give percentage combo damage, and hitting a lured cog will also add percentage "knockback damage";
squirt, which is exactly like throw but less damage;
and drop, which does high damage but cannot hit lured cogs, and has low accuracy unless you hit the cog with something else first
each gag track has 6 levels, which you unlock by using that gag track a bunch. you can't carry as many of the high levels with you - i mean, putting one piano in your backpack makes perfect sense, but two is just silly, right
a few years into the game's lifespan, level 7s were added - these were huge AOE that you could regain with every 500 track EXP. there was also something called "organic gags" to promote the please-log-in-every-day gardening system
every player starts with throw and squirt, and throughout the game you slowly unlock four more gag tracks. your choices are permanent: once you have your six tracks, you're locked out of the seventh forever.
in theory, all of this opens up a huge variety of combat options!
in practice, the battle strategy looks something like this:
use sound
as mentioned, almost all of lategame will be 4v4 battles, which means sound will almost always outdamage everything on earth. you don't even need four foghorns (the highest normal sound gag) to break 200 AOE damage, and the highest health a cog EVER has is 200*. and two of the boss battles can reward you with gag restocks and heals that you can use mid-battle with no consequences (other than having to grind for those rewards a bunch). and failing THAT, you can just...ration your foghorns and take 2 turns to clear a set of cogs, interspersed with healing.
(*okay there was something called "v2.0 cogs" but they were...strange, and we just used sound anyway)
sure, once level 7s were added you could use those occasionally. and you could fall back on lure+throw if you didn't want to use your sound restocks. but even then, for most of tto's existence there was something called the "knockback bug" which. well. just look at it
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(link for transcript. it's tvtropes sorry)
if you are a target-audience eight-year-old this translates to "lure + throw will only do enough damage if the cogs Feel like it." like it's really just insult to injury at this point. this was the result of One misplaced variable and was not fixed until the game closed
in the tto era, if you didn't have sound, you were kinda doomed to be kicked out of every fight forever
(bonus fun fact: there were Four entire battle themes and they were 40-second midi loops. let me out)
the bosses:
each of the four cog departments has a Boss Cog. to face off against them, you have to assemble a cog disguise and collect enough merits/stock options/whatever to be allowed into the boss's office.
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(pictured: your convincing disguise)
when you enter, your disguise pops off due to Reasons, and you have to fight through...a bunch of waves of normal cogs. it's basically a really long normal battle. once the minions are dealt with, you have to, inexplicably, do a live-action battle against the boss themself:
youtube
(loose video description: four toons defeating the CFO by using magnet cranes to hit him in the face with safes for 32 seconds.)
the live-action rounds aren't supposed to go this quickly, but it's still...kinda strange? certain reoccurring game areas require Parkour, but there are no battles like this outside of the Four bosses. the CFO's room is the only place you see these cranes and they have A Lot Going On. the other 3 bosses have their own unique weird mechanics. before the first boss was added we neither had nor needed the ability to Jump. it's just weird
once you've defeated the boss, you're given a reward of varying usefulness (the best/most unbalanced reward type is Unites, which are a free heal or gag restock you can do inside or outside of battle. essentially lategame toons can simply choose not to die. riv2u etc.)
and, um. then you get some more merits/stock options/whatever and do it again. and again. and again. and again. and agai
the grind:
so the thing is that tto was a subscription mmo. every addition to the game had to be measured, above all, in terms of "how can we best get kids to beg their parents to give us money." this especially shows in the suit grind:
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(source/source)
you have to defeat each boss 78 times in order to get all their laff points - and as you proceed, you have to defeat an increasing amount of cogs to even be allowed into the boss (although once you max you get in for free).
by far the easiest way is to run through the designated HQ facilities - basically, cog fights interspersed with some platforming or minigames. you only collect your merits/whatever at the Very End of the facility. the only way to increase what a facility gives you is if your last battle ends during an "invasion" - a timed period where One Specific Cog replaces all street cogs, usually summoned with boss rewards.
the sellbot HQ grind isn't so bad. bossbot HQ - the endest-game HQ - frequently requires you to do an hour-long facility and on six separate occasions you have to do seven of them. if the invasion ends before your final battle, you have to sit around until someone summons another. if you lose your internet connection because it's 2008, or if your parents make you come to dinner, or if hacking or the game's general bugginess cause a server reset because you're probably in the busiest district for the invasion bonus, you have spent that Entire Hour On Nothing. the CEO (bossbot cog boss) probably also takes an hour because you and your fellow players are 10
this shit, combined with laff points locked behind gardening (time-gated), racing and golfing (multiplayer minigames with absurd requirements), and fishing (RNG-based with some fish being absurdly rare. i watched my mom fish for one every day for a month), meant that maxing a toon took Years, if you managed it ever.
it wasn't, um. it wasn't good
ok so what else is wrong with this game:
i had "aged out of the game" (lol) by the early '10s, so i'm not the best person to do a writeup of the hacking/scripting situation of those days. that said, what i'm going to do is give you a few examples, and i want you to just...look at them
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(source)
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(source). early '10s youtube was funny i'm trying to decide if i miss it
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(source). fun thing to note here is that other players had collision, so a swarm of t-posing toons could just barricade the gag shop if they wanted to
youtube
(video description: toon who has Replaced His Head Model With An Anime Logo throwing thousands of jellybeans at everyone) (cw mild flashing just in case? and also the feather headband accessory)
i should note that the Bring Me To Life vid i started with was client-side, meaning only the player could see their technicolor hellscape. this guy's face was server-side. i do Not Think you should be able to do that
youtube
(video description: a player demonstrating use of a bot to get into the nutty river district, followed by other players using it to go to different game areas)
the above video was posted on august 17th, 2013. if you don't want to watch an Unregistered Hypercam 3 recording at about 5 frames per second, what's going on here is:
the player goes to a specific location and says a specific speedchat phrase.
a bot toon teleports to their location and provides some prompts on how to use it
the player tells the bot, via speedchat, to teleport to the (currently closed from the outside) busiest district so the player can follow
these "taxi toons" were server-sided, persisted across server resets, were made by a future fanserver dev, had younger kids referring to them as a "glitch" as if this were something that could Accidentally Happen, and stayed functional until the game closed
like...a lot of the "hacking" was just baby's first script download. this one - afaict also created by the laughing man head guy - is like...the fact that after years of no substantial game updates, someone effectively programmed their own "QOL feature" (note: not actually good for the poor mid-00s server being turned into a clown car) into a silly disney MMO and it just fucking sat there for a year is just. it's just.
i don't know what this is. this is not Playing The Game Toontown Online. this is nothing. this is everything. there are comments from 2013 on some of these videos saying stuff like "hackers killed toontown", but your game cannot have this happen if it is not already dying
and, like...it was. i'm not sure how many moderators there were by this point, but at the very end of tto, the number of active devs was One. the original devteam recently brought this up at the 20th anniversary celebration: devs just...slowly started getting pulled from the game, one at a time. there were a few updates after bossbot HQ - Field Offices, which i've basically never heard anything good about in their tto form ever; the Silly Meter, a yearly event...thing whose main function was to add unskippable dancing-inanimate-object cutscenes to your street battles; Parties, which...yknow parties were okay actually. i accept parties. but they weren't exactly a Major Game Update like the ones that had come before. in 2011 we gained the ability to Wear Hats. in 2012 the test server got some actual QOL updates that never made it to the main game; the final test server update was some maintenance in february, and then nothing for 18 months. disney was not providing enough resources to address the scripting because disney was not providing enough resources to address toontown. imagine being the last dev standing on an MMO that was older than some of its players, was losing its business model to mobile gaming, and spent most of its life falling apart at the seams. just imagine it, for a second
it couldn't have kept going, not like this.
on august 20, 2013, the closing announcement came: we had a month left of toontown online. the test server shut immediately; subscription refunds went out, and the game became actually F2P for the month; the part of the announcement that went like "we're shifting our focus to other games!" made a bunch of twelve-year-olds hate club penguin as if club penguin wouldn't also close in a few years; all the holiday events went off at once; and...
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there wasn't a "thanks for playing!" popup. everyone online just got kicked, all at once. it was finally over
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hey wait.
247 notes · View notes
thecherrytarot · 1 year
Text
𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.
what do you need to let go of?
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pile 1 → pile 2 → pile 3
Pick the photo you feel the most drawn to and please remember that this is a general reading so take what resonates!!
listen to: chamber of reflection by Mac DeMarco.
𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏:
"No use looking out, it's within that brings that lonely feeling. understand that when you leave here, you'll be clear among the better men"
You need to let go of your fear of failure and accept the fact that mistakes are meant to teach you lessons the hard way. You need to let go of your limiting beliefs that were actually set by others for you. I'm getting the message that some of you want to move out of your house because you want to explore and learn more about this world but feel like your potential is being wasted by being stuck in your known surroundings. For some of you, this could be an overly protective parent figure who refuses to let you grow up (I hope this makes sense and doesn't sound too weird) and because of this you are stuck in a dilemma where you feel suffocated by the lack of freedom but at the same time, you doubt if you could achieve your dreams. Going back to the "being stuck in your surroundings" part, some of you might have even pretended to someone else to fit in just so you don't feel lonely and left out but I feel like the majority of you stopped this cause you realized that you were losing your true self to fit in with people who don't really care that much about you, just the person you pretended to be.
You need to let go of your habit of procrastination because you are afraid of the result. You are not only afraid of failing but also afraid of succeding and dealing with new, unknown experiences. You may feel like you are trapped in a situation which is beyond your control but deep down within you, you do know that you have the freedom to do what you want to do you just don't want to take the effort for it. You are holding yourself back from being the best version of yourself. Set boundaries and stand up for yourself assertively instead of stalling confrontations against the 'higher authority" who tells you that you can't do it.
𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐:
"Spend some time away, getting ready for the day you're born again. spend some time alone, understand that soon you'll run with better men"
You need to let go of your habit of neglecting yourself for the sake of helping others, to please them so that they do not feel disappointed in you. You need to protect yourself and take care of yourself first and then think about others. Many of you might be the eldest (or have to act like the eldest) children who have a lot of responsibilities and do not have enough time to focus on yourself. I heard someone defending themselves by saying "But I do skin care" this is more than that. many of you could also put all your focus on how you look but neglect other areas such as your diet, mental and physical health etc. Regardless of what it is, the message is to prioritise yourself and give others the space and the freedom to grow on their own.
You need to let go of your habit of building up walls that separate you from the actual reality. You may have felt like you were born and raised in hell and now your feelings and emotions have altered your viewpoint of the world that you see. You may feel like numbing your emotions and desires you are keeping yourself safe. Many of you could use this as a defence mechanism because you were hurt in your past and are now afraid of the present uncertainties. You may feel like "if I don't bring in any change, I'll be safe" but the universe is telling you to bring in the change that a tiny part of you wants. It is asking you to stop denying and avoid changes because you are afraid that it might break the facade of your strength. Let go of the things that no longer benefit you.
𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑:
"alone again"
(it was so difficult for me to get the messages cause the energy felt all over the place but the first message came out strong even though I feel like it is only for a certain number. i know the song is something else but I kept hearing Swing Lynn by Harmless so take however that resonates.)
You need to let go of your obsession with love/ future spouse readings. Sometimes you do not need to know every single detail about your future to feel a sense of control over the situation, confirmation of the future that you obsessively desire or whatever the reason is. There is no harm in reading them but there should be a limit, there are times when we are not meant to know something until it has happened and the best way to manifest something is the law of detachment.
You need to let go of your habit of struggling to say "no" even in situations you do not feel comfortable (like there are two cards indicating this) You need to assert your boundaries, needs and wants with confidence. You need to be honest with yourself and focus on prioritising your actual needs. Bringing discipline and action into your life will help you achieve your manifestation a lot faster than just simply waiting for it to arrive at your doorstep. This will help you bring the balance that you have always wanted. The other side of this is, that you need to let go of your fear of consequences, you may (sometimes unintentionally) give the 'decision-making' responsibilities to someone else so that if and when things go wrong you can blame someone else instead of yourself. It is important for you to take responsibility for your own actions and use them as opportunities to grow instead of feeling stuck in your self doubt.
You need to let go of numbing yourself from the discomfort and confront it. The wisdom, freedom and power that you search in others is already in you, just have to trust yourself and listen to it and give yourself an opportunity to grow. Reflect on your shadow self and learn to face your fears.
Please give feedback <3
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jovial-thunder · 5 months
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Pre-alpha Lancer Tactics changelog
(cross-posting the full gif changelog here because folks seemed to like it last time I did)
We're aiming for getting the first public alpha for backers by the end of this month! Carpenter and I scoped out mechanics that can wait until after the alpha (e.g. grappling, hiding) in favor of tying up the hundred loose threads that are needed for something that approaches a playable game. So this is mostly a big ol changelog of an update from doing that.
But I also gave a talent talk at a local Portland Indie Game Squad event about engine architecture! It'll sound familiar if you've been reading these updates; I laid out the basic idea for this talk almost a year ago, back in the June 2023 update.
youtube
We've also signed contracts & had a kickoff meeting with our writers to start on the campaigns. While I've enjoyed like a year of engine-work, it'll be so so nice to start getting to tell stories. Data structures don't mean anything beyond how they affect humans & other life.
New Content
Implemented flying as a status; unit counts as +3 spaces above the current ground level and ignores terrain and elevation extra movement costs. Added hover + takeoff/land animations.
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Gave deployables the ability to have 3D meshes instead of 2D sprites; we'll probably use this mostly when the deployable in question is climbable.
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Related, I fixed a bug where after terrain destruction, all units recheck the ground height under them so they'll move down if the ground is shot out from under them. When the Jerichos do that, they say "oh heck, the ground is taller! I better move up to stand on it!" — not realizing that the taller ground they're seeing came from themselves.
Fixed by locking some units' rendering to the ground level; this means no stacking climbable things, which is a call I'm comfortable making. We ain't making minecraft here (I whisper to myself, gazing at the bottom of my tea mug). 
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Block sizes are currently 1x1x0.5 — half as tall as they are wide. Since that was a size I pulled out of nowhere for convenience, we did some art tests for different block heights and camera angles. TLDR that size works great and we're leaving it.
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Added Cone AOE pattern, courtesy of an algorithm NMcCoy sent me that guarantees the correct number of tiles are picked at the correct distance from the origin.
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pick your aim angle
for each distance step N of your cone, make a list ("ring") of all the cells at that distance from your origin
sort those cells by angular distance from your aim angle, and include the N closest cells in that ring in the cone's area
Here's a gif they made of it in Bitsy:
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Units face where you're planning on moving/targeting them.
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Got Walking Armory's Shock option working. Added subtle (too subtle, now that I look at it) electricity effect.
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Other things we've added but I don't have gifs for or failed to upload. You'll have to trust me. :)
disengage action
overcharge action
Improved Armament core bonus
basic mine explosion fx
explosion fx on character dying
Increase map elevation cap to 10. It's nice but definitely is risky with increasing the voxel space, gonna have to keep an eye on performance.
Added Structured + Stress event and the associated popups. Also added meltdown status (and hidden countdown), but there's not animation for this yet so your guy just abruptly disappears and leaves huge crater.
UI Improvements
Rearranged the portrait maker. Auto-expand the color picker so you don't have to keep clicking into a submenu.
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Added topdown camera mode by pressing R for handling getting mechs out of tight spaces.
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The action tooltips have been bothering me for a while; they extend up and cover prime play-area real estate in the center of the screen. So I redesigned them to be shorter and have a max height by putting long descriptions in a scrollable box. This sounds simple, but the redesign, pulling in all the correct data for the tags, and wiring up the tooltips took like seven hours. Game dev is hard, yo.
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Put the unit inspect popups in lockable tooltips + added a bunch of tooltips to them.
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Implemented the rest of Carpenter's cool hex-y action and end turn readout. I'm a big fan of whenever we can make the game look more like a game and less like a website (though he balances out my impulse for that for the sake of legibility).
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Added a JANKY talent/frame picker. I swear we have designs for a better one, but sometimes you gotta just get it working. Also seen briefly here are basic level up/down and HASE buttons.
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Other no-picture things:
Negated the map-scaling effect that happens when the window resizes to prevent bad pixel scaling of mechs at different resolutions; making the window bigger now just lets you see more play area instead of making things bigger.
WIP Objectives Bullets panel to give the current sitrep info
Wired up a buncha tooltips throughout the character sheet.
Under the Hood
Serialization: can save/load games! This is the payoff for sticking with that engine architecture I've been going on about. I had to add a serialization function to everything in the center layer which took a while, but it was fairly straightforward work with few curveballs.
Finished replacement of the kit/unit/reinforcement group/sitrep pickers with a new standardized system that can pull from stock data and user-saved data.
Updated to Godot 4.2.2; the game (and editor) has been crashing on exit for a LONG time and for the life of me I couldn't track down why, but this minor update in Godot completely fixed the bug. I still have no idea what was happening, but it's so cool to be working in an engine that's this active bugfixing-wise! 
Other Bugfixes
Pulled straight from the internal changelog, no edits for public parseability:
calculate cover for fliers correctly
no overwatch when outside of vertical threat
fixed skirmisher triggering for each attack in an AOE
fixed jumpjets boost-available detection
fixed mines not triggering when you step right on top of them // at a different elevation but still adjacent
weapon mods not a valid target for destruction
made camera pan less jumpy and adjust to the terrain height
better Buff name/desc localization
Fixed compcon planner letting you both boost and attack with one quick action.
Fix displayed movement points not updating
Prevent wrecks from going prone
fix berserkers not moving if they were exactly one tile away
hex mine uses deployer's save target instead of 0
restrict weapon mod selection if you don't have the SP to pay
fix deployable previews not going away
fix impaired not showing up in the unit inspector (its status code is 0 so there was a check that was like "looks like there's no status here")
fix skirmisher letting you move to a tile that should cost two movement if it's only one space away
fix hit percent calculation
fix rangefinder grid shader corner issues (this was like a full day to rewrite the shader to be better)
Teleporting costs the max(spaces traveled, elevation change) instead of always 1
So um, yeah, that's my talk, any questions? (I had a professor once tell us to never end a talk like this, so now of course it's the phrase that first comes to mind whenever I end a talk)
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