#but she was so hell bent on the cure that she couldn’t just stop | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tundrainafrica · 3 years ago

Text

Title: Lovebug (14/14)

Summary:

“It might be a bug.”

“A bug?”

“Sometimes the developers of this application make mistakes. This is our first time meeting I’m sure so…Isn’t it a bit weird that we just met for the first time and it rings like this? And for two strangers to coincidentally ring each other’s alarms?“

Levi is the developer of the Love Alarm App and Hange is married to Zeke.

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Notes: I know I usually post on Wednesdays but I'll be on the road on Wednesday and if I don't get this out soon, I'll probably end up dropping it next week or smthg so here it is. Two days early. I hope you enjoy :D

Is this all that there is to life? A glaring question that came unexpectedly, in between reading through codes for his nth freelance project the past few years.

In response, Levi closed his eyes, sat back and reflected. A part of him may have been asking that question for a while and slowly, Levi started to understand why he was asked that in the first place.

A few minutes ago, he had been strangely happy to see his code compiling at the first try. And just a few hours ago, he had been enthusiastic at running a debugger through a code and finding a few typos to fix.

Happiness. That was happiness right?

That part of him continued to nag. It soured that 'happiness,' leaving a burning dissatisfaction inside him. You’ve experienced better moments, happier moments.

Then Levi got fed up. He reached into the back of his mind, he remembered, then something stopped him from reminiscing for a while longer.

Something strange. Something buried.

He hadn’t allowed himself to feel much since he first moved into that new city. He had allowed the novelty and the business to carry him through his first months. But the novelty of a new beginning never lasted long.

Too shaken to even bother applying for a new job, Levi opted to work freelance. Consequently, his only companions were the four walls of his studio apartment and the occasional voices from next door.

There was only so much which could stimulate interest. His mind continued to search for them and naturally, time continued to move along with it. Routine and episodes of ennui seemed to last infinities in the moment. But in retrospect, it felt like they all happened too fast.

He had made sense of time in milestones, milestones worth ten times the refreshing feeling of running a debugger through code or the fleeting euphoria of compiling codes at the first try.

Is that all that there is to life? Eventually, he made sense of that strange voice. There was reason to that question.

That day was another milestone. If it wasn't for his nagging mind, he could have missed it.

It was a blustery autumn day in late October, the weather similar to the last view he had of his home five years ago. Shifting his gaze from the window of his present apartment, he took a quick look at the calendar and it was like a dam had ended up spilling open inside him.

The five year mark was a bittersweet milestone, five years since he left home. The fifth year rang more loudly than every year before that. Maybe because five was such a perfect number, or perhaps because he had been keeping something in for a while.

He felt a release. Then a reprieve from the monotony, a reprieve from the five years avoiding his old life. Levi found himself opening his browser tab, typing the words ‘love alarm’ on the search box and deleting it a second later.

An aimless and useless sequence of movements. He didn’t need a quick google search to know how it was doing.

The love alarm had become a household name even all the way in his side of the world. With his very human need to go out, whether it be for groceries, shopping or just some fresh air, Levi couldn’t completely ignore it. With the right decisions, Levi could choose not to give so much as a side glance at the people walking, heads bent down, staring at the number of hearts on their application.

When he went out though, even with his music at full blast, he would hear the familiar alarm as he walked through crowds.

At first, it had left a pang in his chest, a brief bout of nausea, perhaps disgust or embarrassment at his old life.

It had been five years since he first arrived though and it turned out, time did heal.

Levi looked through the wikipedia page of the love alarm and he found, it hurt more like a raw scar than a stab in his chest or a crushing weight. The nausea, the pang in his chest that plagued him years before were weak if almost nonexistent.

Curiosity took over.

Would would have felt like an ache in the chest years ago, felt more like a mosquito bite. Levi was just slightly annoyed. It did nothing to stop him though from registering again and looking through the application interface.

Nothing much had changed. There were some slight changes to the skin of the registration page, a change in the name of the company at the bottom. Levi purposely touched the activate button rapidly and found he had crashed the application.

That was one bug that he never got to fix. He turned his phone to the side, noting the way the screen glitched as it adjusted to the landscape orientation of the phone. Another bug Levi never got to fix.

Then he wondered who the developer on the other end had been to have never even caught it.

Biometrics registered, Levi activated the alarm to find no hearts. He couldn’t help but entertain that slight disappointment. Of course no hearts would have appeared though. He hadn’t even interacted with his neighbors.

It would have been creepy it rang. Letting out a sardonic laugh just loud enough for himself, he leaned back on the chair and stared at the ceiling, forcing his thoughts back to whatever coding freelance project he’d been dealing with a few minutes ago.

Work came in freelance projects. They were enough for rent, for savings and some capacity to eat out occasionally.

A simple yet comfortable life. But is that all that there is to life? That voice continued to tear into his work related thoughts. Levi gave in to the nagging thought again. He started scrolling through wikipedia articles detailing use, detailing acquisition history, he found another key word under related articles, more interesting than ‘love alarm.’

Mood Alarm.

It sent a strange shiver through the back of his neck. Levi rolled his shoulders, relieving the tension that came with the last few eons of reflection. He let out a whistle, opened the new article and scrolled down towards references.

There were lists of articles.

Partner of Zeke Jaeger and freshly minted PhD graduate Doctor Hange Zoe release Mood Alarm.

Doctor Hange Zoe. Something inside him was fighting for control. He couldn’t bring himself to click the link. At the same time though, there was this curiosity inside him that he couldn’t seem to get to the bottom of.

Under the link to the article was the official website.

At the front page, there was a boring and overly professional introduction Levi didn’t bother to read

Below them, everything else had been interesting enough to give more than a second long glance.

The list of functionalities. The color codes. Then newly launched dashboard functionalities, almost a carbon copy of the plan Levi had sent years back.

“Fucking hell, you actually did it,” Levi muttered. He couldn’t help but just allow the smile that tugged at his lips some control. Excitement had him searching for the application on the play store, downloading it and methodically going through the same registration process as the love alarm.

It didn’t look much like the mood alarm Levi had worked on years ago. He saw hints of it though and worked from there to admire it.

The front end had been cleaned up. The font chosen fit the silver-to-white gradient of the application. When Levi clicked ‘activate,’ the screen loaded.

The colors mixed against one another for a second, an aesthetic choice of animation that Levi couldn’t help but be amused with.

Red. Yellow. Blue. Purple. Green. Orange.

The colors continued to mix. Then some disappeared as if they had lost themselves in some colorful war.

Then it was only blue and yellow. The two colors danced against one another for a few seconds longer before they disappeared too. More specifically, they bundled against one another.

Green. It took him at least five seconds to get that reading.

He didn’t have to look at the guide on the website to know what it meant.

Sad happy? Or happy sad? Whatever that feeling was, Levi felt no need to introspect, or maybe he had been too lazy to.

It had been a while since he had even let himself feel something. The green on his screen, the feeling that accompanied it, seemed more like an old friend he hadn’t talked to a while.

If he had any ability at introspection, maybe it had already rusted. Still, he let those emotions inside him, that yellow and that blue do their work.

They had him turning off the mood alarm, then turning off the love alarm. Something inside him still hesitated to delete the applications. Then it had him considering the space on his phone for just a second.

He downloaded another app that night. A familiar app with a flame, then another one with a bee. Only months into his new life in a new city with a new job, Levi was already bored— and if he had to admit it—terribly, terribly lonely.

And maybe the best way to cure it was to spend the whole night swiping.

***

Finding a companion wasn’t as easy as desperation and a few second long rush of confidence made it out to be.

Perhaps, online dating was a rash idea, an uncharacteristic move.

Didn't he reject Petra years ago? How could he date anyone else? Petra… How is she… With nothing much to do but wait for his date, he found himself texting Petra as he waited in the cafe.

He sent a few thank you messages at her well wishes. They exchanged brief updates and Petra’s own updates dragged on for longer.

Her life was more eventful than his.

Petra had started dating Oluo. She had found someone who loved her, just as much as she loved him. Keeping a correspondence with her only highlighted points for reflection for Levi. The more he reflected, the more questions came up. The more he reflected, the more complicated the questions became.

He was lonely but could he be picky? At the same time, did he even have the heart to put anyone through the shitty experience of a half hearted courtship?

Hange’s words echoed in his head, not in any specific string, a few parts in words, a few parts in phrases.

Considering the circumstances… Love is a choice.

When he let her words echo through him, he managed to grip a presence long gone. A presence and a relationship, he clarified, that had never been his in the first place.

He never did completely brush away the guilt that accompanied every passing thought of Hange. There was this strange acceptance though that appended it, and it had him a little more discerning, a little more prudent.

If he couldn’t have her, he could always just keep her close in his own personal way.

“Have you heard of the love alarm?”

How long had she been there? How long had she been talking?

Right, Levi was on a date. She had said words before that question and Levi could have sworn they had exchanged greetings even before that.

“In passing,” Levi said. He manifested some reality from the words, as if a firm response was enough to forget decades worth of overtime and testing.

“It’s this application we can use to test compatibility… So at least we know if this could work.”

Levi listened with some fake intent as she explained how the love alarm worked. He made sure to nod at points where her tone had gone a little higher or louder.

“What do you think?” There was some finality to her voice, an expectant look on her face.

Levi hummed in thought.. “I don’t believe in using an app to check compatibility. What about when we consider circumstances? Get to know each other… Then decide if it could work?”

She looked at her phone for a second, then back at Levi, her brows furrowed in confusion.

Levi shook his head. “Sorry, I just don’t believe in things like the love alarm, it seems just like horoscopes or Myer Briggs to me. Compatibility, relationships, they’re just gonna be choices we make anyway.” He found himself guiltily looking away as he said those last points.

The pout that played at his date’s lips was evidence enough, there probably wouldn’t be a second date. “It’s not like our love alarm’s would have rung anyway,” she said.

It had been a while since Levi dated though and he started to realize, maybe his filter and his social skills had rusted just a bit.

***

Love is a choice.

It looked like he might have been the only one to believe that. He had managed to piss off countless other dates with his own ‘love is a choice’ schtick.

And he had been dating semi regularly for the past year already. Yet, nothing was coming up fruitful.

How the hell did Hange even manage to get married? Or maybe Hange had just been the exception. He then concluded, Hange just had too many other loveable qualities which could make anyone want to snap her up early on.

The more he entertained the thought of Hange, the heavier his own chest became. Then he stopped entertaining her then the cycle would start again, a very vicious cycle.

It just so happened that sometimes the thought of ‘Hange’ manifested as some domineering thought. ‘Love is a choice’ and the strange sensation that came with his whole body protesting, rebelling in their own little way worked hand in hand.

He was confused and consequently desperate enough to open the mood alarm for some inkling of comprehension. He would focus on the way the colors switched among one another, disappearing, always revealing a yellow and a light blue dancing between one another then always ending with a light blue.

Sometimes he was blue. Sometimes he was green.

Ane he continued to check. After all, he mood alarm had become a beautiful and constant companion. He had deleted the love alarm but kept the mood alarm close.

“What do you think of the love alarm?”

How many people are gonna ask about that fucking application?

Zeke had just been a little too good at marketing. It was the nth time someone had broken the ice of a first date with that fucking question and Levi regretted not making a drinking game out of it. Maybe he would have been able to drink enough to forget that cursed product.

“Are you okay?” his new date asked.

He had spent the past few minutes too silent, not thinking. “Nifa…” That was her name right? He cleared his throat. “I’m fine.”

She looked as nervous as he did, or even more nervous. That part was comforting at least. In a way, her demeanor seemed a little more pleasant, more genuinely curious than wary. “I asked just a second ago, have you ever used that love alarm?” she said in response.

Levi followed the same script. "In passing."

“Would you like to try it out? Just to make sure we’re on the same page, relationship wise.”

“I’d rather we relied on circumstances and compatibility to make the choice for us. Get to know each other maybe…” When it came to suggestions, Levi had revised his script just a bit. Too many people got offended by his invalidating horoscopes and Myer Briggs type for some weird reason. “Like get to know each other, like…” Levi trailed off for a second, allowing himself a pregnant pause. ”... Elizabeth and Darcy?”

Nifa had cocked her head to the side curiously, thought for a long second and smiled just a bit wider. “You read Pride and Prejudice?”

Levi nodded subtly. “A while back,.”

She paused for a second, seeming deep in thought. “Well… Now that I think about it, you might be right,” Nifa said. “This compatibility thing… Your idea of love. I think it makes sense.”

“Really? You think so?”

“Yeah, why?” Nifa asked.

Levi dropped his shoulders in relief, the weight of at least a hundred failed dates fell off his shoulders. “I’ve been dating for years and I feel like you’re the only one who actually said that.”

Nifa didn’t reply immediately and the longer Levi sat there, the more clearly he saw her face. Surprise morphed into something that seemed more like pity. Then, the chronic pang in his chest came back.

A first love did that to people maybe? A painful first love lost had that special power to maybe just twist his own philosophies, to make him almost disgusted at his own creations and the way it had challenged his own convictions.

Are you scared? Levi thought to himself. He couldn’t be too sure how he was handling himself in front of Nifa. He looked down at his hands, opening and closing them a few times and if he looked closely, he could almost feel those uncomfortable twinges in his wrist that came from years of coding.

“I’m willing to put the time into it if you are.” Nifa’s voice was more gentle and it flowed as if she had sensed the stiffness in his voice.

Levi didn’t respond immediately and suddenly their little corner of the crowded cafe was eerily silent. There was a melancholy that had blanketed their little corner despite the Saturday afternoon crowd.

Nifa seemed like she was trying to break away from it with some light conversation. “Hey, have you heard of the mood alarm?”

“The mood alarm?” Levi let that half smile creep up his lips, just high enough to be more invisible than obvious. Three words from a stranger and his emotions were reduced to a mess.

He once again felt that twinge again at his rests and that sleepless night, and her. He was remembering her in his office through sleepy exhausted eyes, with a cocktail dress and a sandwich bag in one hand.

There was also something amusing and painfully ironic about hearing his own brainchild, from someone so casually, as if it had turned into some household name while he wasn’t looking.

The conversation was getting painful, painfully interesting and the masochist in Levi was gripping him and pulling him back to reality. “Like the love alarm…” Levi added.

“Well, they’re products from the Jaeger corporation… You know the Jaeger family right?” Nifa added.

Levi could only be thankful he hadn’t been sipping at his tea then. He probably could have choked. How could he ever forget Zeke Jaeger?

He might have gotten a lot better at hiding his own disgust or Nifa could have been too deep in thought. She continued to talk. “They bought Love Alarm a few years back.”

“I know the Jaeger family,” Levi said.

“So you know about their eldest son, the heir of the Jaeger corporation… And his partner?”

Levi took a sip of tea, not bothering to respond.

Nifa may have taken that as a ‘no.’“His partner was working towards a PhD in psychology and apparently that was her final project. The codes for the mood alarm are very similar to the love alarm apparently."

“Oh?” Levi asked, feigning interest.

Soon, it turned into something genuine. Nifa was offering new information. “She got the PhD a few years ago and soon after that, the application was launched. And now they’re launching a solution for hospitals.”

“What kind of solution?” Levi asked.

“Wait, have you ever used the mood alarm? Or do you know how it works?” Nifa asked. “Anyway, I realized I ended up digressing here… The point I was trying to make is, the one who developed the mood alarm was able to prove that whatever measurements they use for the love alarm, are related to emotions. And what if, understanding how we feel when we work towards a relationship is a better determinant of whether the relationship could work?”

Levi nodded quickly, an attempt to be polite. At that point though, he wasn’t too interested in the point she had been trying to make “I’m familiar with the application and how it works. But you mentioned something about a solution for hospitals…” He didn’t think it was worth lying. He didn’t need a long winded explanation of the alarm he made. He needed an explanation of what Hange had been making."

Nifa didn’t seem to get the message. “So, the application will determine your emotions for you--- I have one right now and we could use it over time to articulate how we feel.” She pulled out her phone and dropped it on the table. “I think analyzing our own emotions would do a better job than relying on how the love alarm processes the emotions.”

There was something surreal about seeing a user explain it to him, as if they knew it more than him.

For a while, he couldn’t help but just entertain the possibility that in her own way, Nifa may have known more. With someone explaining and demonstrating, he was more easily able to make sense of the changes that had been implemented since Hange acquired it.

The app icon was reminiscent of the love alarm, two rings around it but instead of a heart in between, there was an icon, an elegant cross between a flower and a color wheel.

Red. Blue. Yellow. In between the primary colors were purple, green and orange.

Nifa activated it and held the phone between her fingertips. Just like the night when Levi had first played with it, the colored blobs swam amongst one another again, each blob would disappear one by one, leaving the remaining colors.

Yellow and Orange. “Looks like I’m happy,” Nifa commented. “So apparently the new dashboard allows us to connect this reading on the phone to a PC and get a more detailed explanation, numbers, heart rate, all the like.”

“You seem to know a lot about the app,” Levi mused.

Nifa cocked her head to one side. “Well, I’m into psychology too. I work as a psychologist in one of the hospitals. Our hospital is one of the first ones to buy software licenses so I’ve done my research.” She hummed, looking straight at him for a second as if studying him. “Now that I think about it, your job wasn’t on your profile. What do you do for a living?”

Levi’s response was automatic. “IT work.” He was suddenly self conscious about even mentioning the word ‘developer.’

“Ooooh... So you’d probably figure out how this app works much faster than I would.” Nifa sighed. “And you could probably help reassure me about this."

“Reassure you about what?”

“I’m honestly pretty nervous about rolling out this software.”

“Why?”

“Well, it’s relatively new, a few bugs would come up here and there.”

“All softwares are going to face new bugs with every update. It’s never ending,” Levi said nonchalantly.

“Spoken like a true IT guy,” Nifa joked. She took a sip of her shake and stared down at his tea and up at him again. “Say, since you’re in IT, you think you can hook us up with someone?”

“Hook you up with someone?” Levi asked. His mind was going places more suited for a tinder date than a conversation on career. He raised one eyebrow in question. He couldn’t be too sure of what she meant just yet.

It looked like she had started to understand that double entendre. Nifa blushed then let out a cough. “No, no. Our company is looking to build a small support team.”

“An IT support team?” Levi asked.

“Well, people who could focus on learning the product, dealing with whatever bugs, testing them, compiling them and sending them over to the Mood Alarm team. You think you’d know anyone tech savvy? Maybe familiar with how biotechnology works?

“I could try to look around…” Levi said.

“Great!” Nifa chimed

By some magic, the conversation shifted elsewhere. Nifa had a way with conversation, keeping some sort of a flow, talking about her own job and getting him to talk about his freelance projects.

Levi’s thoughts on the hospital solution though were an ubiquitous part of his mind space.That was the whole point of the investment right? Back then, Zeke and Hange had plans on selling it to hospitals.

And there was a free trial. That night, Levi had been curious enough to click the ‘book a free trial button’ and to even fill out the first few lines.

Organization name? He didn't have one.

Purpose? To catch up with his own brain child maybe.

He ended up staring at the blank screen for a while, wondering where the hell he would get an organization and a valid purpose.

He wanted to check it out, he really did. And he was a little salty that they required a background check before they even allowed trials for a project he created.

Curiosity became desperation. With desperation, came creativity, audacity. He took his phone with the intention of just asking Nifa a few questions, only to see there was an unread message from her.

Thanks for today! I had a lot of fun. Hopefully, we can plan something soon. I might be busy with work this week but maybe the week after?

Levi stared at her message and composed a quick reply, pleasantries forgotten.

You mentioned something about IT support openings in the hospital...

***

The hiring manager introduced himself as Moblit but he didn't say much else. Instead, he spent the next few minutes looking through Levi's resume, his brow wrinkled.

"Is there something wrong with my resume?" Levi asked, breaking the silence. He had kept it minimalistic, only sticking to odd jobs the past five years.

Moblit shook his head. "Nothing, it just doesn't look like you have support role experience."

"Do I need experience in a support role? I think I'm familiar enough with how apps work to stand in as one," Levi said. Should he mention that he had done the support work before?

"So you've compiled tickets, sent them over to developers?"

I'm the developer who deals with those bullshit tickets. He thought to himself. On the outside though, he nodded and leaned a bit more forward on the table. It wasn’t too difficult to show interest. He was genuinely interested, having given in to that curiosity-turned-desperation.

"Well, if you're interested in taking the job then…” Moblit said. “Let's see how much you know about the mood alarm app." He opened a folder. "It's a relatively new solution, so I don't expect you to know much but if you've heard of the love alarm?"

"I have."

"Well they're from the same corporation…"

Information on their history flew into one ear and out the other. "Do you have any more questions for me?" Levi asked. He could have interrupted Moblit there but he didn’t want to hear about a history he actually experienced first hand.

Moblit cleared his throat. "Well, if you could tell me how you think the mood alarm works? Then I’ll give you a list of common bugs and can you tell me how you will go about raising them to developers?

***

Six years hadn’t done much to make him forget. He had been working with the love alarm for almost a decade after all.

And the mood alarm? He had a strange connection to it, he couldn’t explain.

The code wasn’t open source. Of course it wouldn’t. That was an enterprise application and they wouldn’t want any hacker just randomly getting it. Yet, why did he feel so offended at not having access?

“Hey Levi, how would you handle this?”

“Handle what?” Levi didn’t look up from his monitor immediately. The voice and the question have all were all too familiar and it wasn’t urgent anyway.

“Levi, take a look…” Farlan seemed more frustrated than a second ago.

Levi looked at Farlan’s screen. Another display issue. He was all too familiar with the bugs and it looked like the love alarm and the mood alarm were coming up with the same issues. “Click the activate button three times really fast, right click the desktop, select inspect and take a screenshot. We send it over to the developers on the mood alarm team,” Levi said. That had become routine after a while, yet somehow, his two colleagues Farlan and Isabel were still asking questions.

Maybe because he was the only one who understood what the hell the developers needed to see to actually get to the bottom of the problem.

“Make sure to check it in both light mode and dark mode,” Levi said. “And also, there’s a known bug for the phone app, check if turning on the alarm affects your ability to receive notifications from other apps.” Those words had sent a wave of nostalgia through him. That was one of the bugs he had gotten around to fixing with the love alarm.

“Hey...”Isabel’s voice sounded from next to him. Levi turned around, almost jumping when he saw she had been close enough to look over his shoulder. “What are you researching?”

It wouldn't look good if he slacked off at work in front of colleagues a good few years his junior. Levi closed the tab. “Just my own research on mood alarm.” And when he looked at his codes a little longer, then back at Isabel who seemed almost confused, Levi realized it had looked more like extra work than anything else.

He spent the whole morning on ‘extra work, watching the API calls, making notes to himself to check the codes he had sent Hange years back just to see how much had changed.

“You finished all your tasks today and you still wanna do research on the mood alarm?” Farlan asked, a look of utter amazement on his face.

“What can I say? This app is pretty interesting.” it wasn’t a lie. Watching the growth of his own child from afar, was a fun thing to do.

“It honestly feels like you’ve done this type of work before."

“I did something similar,” Levi said.

“What kind of place did you work in before?” Isabel asked excitedly, her tasks also forgotten.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Levi answered, his tone unchanged.

“Something like the love alarm?”

Levi nodded. “Maybe that’s the reason I can figure things out pretty fast,” he said. The best plan of action was to digress.

“So that means we could make you handle the harder cases?” Farlan snickered.

“I’d rather you learn how to deal with others on your own,” Levi said. “I’ve worked with these apps for a long time. The bugs never end.”

***

“Moblit’s saying you’re doing a pretty good job picking out the bugs,” Nifa spoke above the bustle of the lunch time crowd.

“Are we?” Levi asked. He kept his words brief, not wanting to waste too much energy speaking over the others in the hospital cafeteria.

“Well, he was talking about you mostly,” Nifa said. “Most big issues get resolved with each release. And Moblit was saying that our support team just gives really good feedback.”

“The developers do the work. All we do is find the bugs.” Levi started to pick more meticulously at his salad

Nifa shook her head. “I think the support team deserves credit too. It’s difficult figuring out whether issues are user issues or there’s really a bug. Isabel also told me you find ways to reproduce it quickly.”

“Do I?” His responses were getting less and less creative. There just wasn’t much to say and the compliments were making him more and more uncomfortable by the second.

Moblit was a life saver. He had broken out of the crowd, running to Nifa, an urgent but excited expression on his face. “Nifa, you’ve got to hear this.”

Levi used that brief distraction to shovel more salad into his mouth.

Moblit had spoken just beneath the sounds of other conversations and Levi couldn’t make out what he had said. He did make out the urgency in Nifa’s face and the excitement. Whatever Moblit had said was contagious.

“When are they coming?” Nifa asked, her voice much louder than Moblit’s.

Levi stood up, gathering his plate, his utensils and his unfinished salad. “If I’m not supposed to be in this conversation…”

Moblit shook his head. “Levi, no, please stay. I’d rather you hear this since this is related to your line of work too.”

“Why?” Levi raised one eyebrow.

“Zeke Jaeger and his partner Doctor Hange Zoe, they’re planning to visit,” Moblit said.

Levi couldn’t even tell what expression he had on then.

Maybe Moblit had interpreted shock as confusion. “Zeke Jaeger is the owner of the love alarm. Hange Zoe’s the creator of the mood alarm… In case you didn't know.”

***

“Hey, I wanna see her… Is this how she looks like?” Isabel’s voice was a whisper, a very loud whisper. “She looks smart.”

Farlan’s voice wasn’t any softer. “Well, that’s what you’d expect from the mastermind behind the mood alarm right? I heard Zeke Jaeger bought her the love alarm so she could look through the code and make the mood alarm for herself.”

“Where did you hear that?” Isabel asked.

“Watch the interviews.”

The click and clack of the keyboard. Then there was the sound of voices coming from the loud speaker from Farlan’s computer.

Then Hange’s very familiar voice.

Levi didn’t want to listen. “You know, if you spend too much time looking through this. You’re not gonna get anything done.” He forced his voice into something louder than what he was comfortable with. “Don’t you two have other tasks to do?”

“Aren’t you excited to meet them?” Isabel rolled her chair next to Levi.

No way in hell am I meeting them. “I’m planning on taking a leave,” he said.

“Wait, why?” Isabel seeming heartbroken, as if Levi taking a leave was the most terrible thing in the world.

“Well, as employees we’re entitled to leaves right?” Levi asked emotionlessly, willing himself not to at all be affected by Isabel’s puppy dog face.

Farlan sighed. “You’re the best one at this type of work among the three of us. You know, this is a good opportunity for you to get noticed.”

“I don’t wanna get noticed,” Levi said, as he focused back again on the screen, refreshing their ticketing software a little bit faster that time. It really was an uneventful afternoon. He couldn’t blame Farlan and Isabel for doing nothing.

“It’s a big money, a chance at a big career move,” Farlan said, raising his voice as if that could have done anything to convince Levi.

Levi looked up from the monitor and back to Farlan. “Do you really want me out of here?”

Farlan shrugged. “I dunno, you just seem too overqualified for this kind of job.”

Levi sighed. “Believe me, I’m happy to be here.” He continued to click refresh, just in case anything could have halted that already seemingly awkward conversation. The reason why he didn’t want to run into Zeke or Hange… Was it written all over his face?

Just in case Farlan and Isabel were mind readers, Levi kept quiet, kept his eyes glued on the screen and he prayed the day would get busier somehow.

It did. But it got busy so close to the end of the day and overtime seemed inevitable.

“We’re not receiving any readings.”

The same exact fucking line, from ten different customers from different hospital branches around the country. “You’re fucking kidding me,” Levi muttered.

He opened all the test devices, only to find, none of them were receiving readings from the mood alarm either. He was sure though, he was annoyed, very very annoyed. Maybe even angry. “Try testing,” he ordered.

Farlan and Isabel were more emotional than he was. If it didn’t work for them, it probably wasn’t working at all.

They had full trust on him. Isabel and Farlan nodded and they went through the devices quickly. All test devices exhausted and there was nothing much to do. Levi was convinced it was an issue that could only be investigated on the backend. “We’re done for the day.”

“We have to send a report right?”

Levi started to pack his bag. “Send a report saying we’re not getting any readings,” he said with a shrug. “It’s probably a backend issue or an issue with their API.”

“You sure we can’t do anything from our side?” Farlan pressed.

Levi shook his head. “None.” He logged out, slung his backpack over his shoulder and exited the office.

He sensed their disappointment in him. In his months working there, Levi had never left the office without doing a thorough investigation and writing a detailed report.

That might be the first time in months, they would give something completely unhelpful for the developers. That wasn’t Levi’s intention though. There were just some things that were better off investigated on his own personal PC.

For the first time in a while, Levi didn’t go straight for the shower when he arrived back home. He booted up his own PC. When he checked his cloud account, he found the private repository with all the codes from the love alarm and the mood alarm was still there.

It hadn’t been touched in years though.

He scrolled through the code, allowing that wave of nostalgic to wash over him gently. Having been the only one who worked on the base, Levi was very very familiar with it. Memories came quickly with the nostalgia. There was a point where the server was down and he remembered the hundreds of support tickets about the temporarily malfunctioning love alarm.

No readings were coming through. Levi did a quick calculation of the time zones of his own city and of the mood alarm headquarters. Then he looked through the code again.

Convinced that it was a fair theory, Levi opened his pseudo email, entered the support email for the mood alarm and left just one sentence on the email body.

I’m convinced one of your devs left a debugger on one of these codes on the backend.

A few years ago, he had been guilty of leaving a debugger running overnight, fucking up the whole command system of the love alarm.

He copied and pasted a part of the code and the sent the email off. For all he knew, the mood alarm could have branched off far from the love alarm, rendering his theory completely stupid. Still, it was a theory worth entertaining.

The issues from work forgotten, Levi started to open his other emails, finding one from Petra on the third page, dated months ago.

Just a reminder that he hadn’t opened that email in months. “A wedding invite?”

Petra Ral and Oluo Bozado invite you to celebrate their wedding…

He didn’t need the rest of it to convince himself to go. He only needed to look at the date under, conveniently a week after Hange and Zeke were scheduled to visit the hospital where he worked.

He sent off two emails that night.

One to Petra, a very very late RSVP.

Then one to management, a request for a two week leave. For personal reasons.

A wedding always made a good personal reason. That was probably only half his actual personal reason though.

***

“I didn’t even expect you to come.” Petra seemed happy.

It could have been the make up or her natural blush. She was a glowing bride, glowing bright enough that Levi was starting to feel lonely.

“It’s been a while,” Levi said. “And you two are looking good.”

“How’s life abroad?” Petra asked.

“It’s fine,” Levi said.

“You adjusted well?” Petra asked again.

“Yeah, I guess I did.” Levi took a sip of his wine.

“You managed to get a software engineering job there?” That time it was Oluo who asked.

“Something similar,” Levi said. He started to shake his glass a bit, feigning deep consideration. Maybe that would explain his inability to respond. In truth, he was in no mood to make conversation but when the bride and the groom had gone out of their way to sit next to him on the bench outside their party, and they had gone through all the trouble of asking, it was only polite that he kept his side of the conversation.

Somewhere along the exchanges, Petra brought up a question. And whether it had been appropriate or not, Levi couldn’t tell but he thought it worth an answer at least.

“Have you met anyone?” Petra asked.

“What?” Levi responded.

“I dunno… I guess someone who makes you feel good? Someone who manages to ring your love alarm?” Petra gave him a knowing look.

Levi only had to shift his gaze from Petra to the seemingly blank face of Oluo to know, Petra had at least kept that part to herself. To the others, his alarm ringing with Hange could have been just a bug.

Levi shook his head. “I haven’t touched the love alarm in years,” he admitted.

Petra seemed more understanding. “We haven’t touched it in years either.”

Levi raised his eyebrows. “Really?”

Petra stared ahead, looking deep in thought. She turned to Oluo. “Well, I guess a part of us wanted to build this organically, get to know each other first. And maybe that’s the best way to find people. I think the love alarm just causes unnecessary chaos sometimes.”

Levi only had to look back at his past five years to see it. To be honest, he could actually put the blame on the love alarm for completely uprooting his life. He couldn't say he totally agreed though. He didn’t regret the time with Hange either.

But he wasn’t going to deny her credit where credit was due. “You make sense.”

It wasn’t as simple as that though. Somehow, Hange’s own words had torn into the silence. Just for him. The love alarm causes chaos but sometimes it can tie loose ends.

And for him, it had been both. It had caused chaos but somehow, meeting Hange, having gotten to know her, having gotten to talk to her had tied some loose ends inside him.

What kind of loose ends? He couldn’t be too sure.

“Even when you don’t use the love alarm now, have you met other people?” Petra was still very interested in his love life.

Oluo should have been silently uncomfortable about that. Levi couldn’t tell with a quick glance.

“I’ve met a few people though… There’s someone named Nifa,” Levi said,

“Next time you come here, you’ll take her for a visit? Make sure to introduce us to her?” Petra asked.

“Or maybe next time, it will be us visiting,” Oluo added.

The brief conversation ended soon after, with a few exchanged greetings and a promise to bring Nifa. In case something ever happened between him and NIfa.

By the end of the night, he had made a promise to himself not to use that love alarm to find his next love.

Petra was right, the love alarm could cause unnecessary chaos. Besides, love is a choice right?

***

Levi came back from his very relaxing two week leave to two words that made his stomach turn.

Doctor Zoe. That was what Farlan and Isabel called her.

“Doctor Zoe…” Levi repeated. The words tasted unfamiliar. Suddenly, the road trip, the beach trip and just the quiet meetings in the cafe all seemed like just a fevered dream.

“And she stopped to talk to all of us!” Isabel sang, her eyes filled with wonder. “You should have stayed. I swear, I feel like you would have gotten along. She never stops talking. You two could have talked about the mood alarm for hours.”

“She sounds tiring to be with,” Levi said, an attempt at a halfhearted reply.

Farlan grinned, an alarmingly knowing expression on his face. “Don’t lie, you would have enjoyed at least listening. You’re way more enthusiastic about the mood alarm than we are.”

“I’m just being a good employee.” Levi shook his head, as if that was enough to erase the regret that shoved itself into his throat and down to his chest.

“She really made sure to talk to everyone,” Isabel said. “And she stayed for a few days longer. Maybe the plans changed since she went alone.”

“Wait, she came alone?” Levi said. Don’t regret. Don’t you dare regret leaving.

Farlan nodded in response. “Moblit explained this to us before they came.” He turned to Isabel as if expecting some explanation from her.

“I can’t be too sure either, I’ve only heard a bit about it. And rich people like the Jaegers, they like to keep their personal lives a secret right?” Isabel answered.

Farlan shrugged. “Anyway, from what Moblit told me, they intended to visit all the major customers including our hospital chain. They’ve been planning this tour for months, maybe even years but Doctor Zoe ended up going alone.”

“Did you ever find out why?” Levi kept his voice soft, anything louder and he might just look more invested. He turned back to the unopened tickets on his screen. From his peripherals, he could see Farlan and Isabel exchanging glances.

It was Farlan who spoke up. “I have a theory.”

“Tell me,” Levi said.

“They fought.”

“Okay, couples fight.” Levi continued to click at the tickets, opening them one by one, just to feel productive.

“Yeah, but it must have been a big fight right?” Isabel added. “I did some research on Doctor Zoe after we met her and apparently, they were having problems even years ago. Apparently, there are rumors that her husband bought the love alarm to save their marriage.”

“Where the hell did you get that info?” Farlan sounded incredulous.

Isabel chuckled mischievously. “The dark, dark internet.”

“That can’t be true.” Farlan shook his head in disbelief.

“I can’t really prove it anymore. A lot of the threads online that actually discuss this get taken down by the admin. But I swear, now that I think about it, it does make sense. I read some articles, no one expected Zeke Jaeger to buy the love alarm… Some said he did it to save the love alarm after a major bug showed up that could have prevented PR….Apparently, there was a certain point a few years ago, where there were photos of Doctor Zoe with another man. I tried looking for the photos but I can’t find them anymore.”

“You really got invested in her love life huh?”

Isabel groaned. “I couldn’t help it. She seemed so nice and she talked to us a lot even when we were just support, she took the time to teach us and she’s just so humble…”

“But what if she really did cheat on her husband?” Farlan challenged. “I mean, the rumors have to have been there for a reason right?”

“Do you think she looks like the type to cheat?” Isabel asked. “That very honest and open face?”

Farlan coughed in surprise. “She doesn’t for sure---but rumors don’t come out of nowhere right?”

“You two, go back to work,” Levi said. While the two had been working, he had been assigning tickets to them, an ingenious way to compose himself.

“Wait not yet, what do you think Levi? You might have better intuition than we do.”

“Intuition?” Levi repeated, one eyebrow raised.

“Does she really look like the type to cheat?” Farlan asked.

Levi continued to stare at the screen, not willing to risk showing them whatever expression played at his face then. “I didn’t meet her. You two did so you’re better qualified to answer that question. Tell me, does she look like the type to cheat?”

Farlan paused for a second, then narrowed his eyes at Levi. “I think I have a question which you might be more qualified to answer,” Farlan said. “You’re pretty good at finding bugs. Have you ever done research on the love alarm bug? What do you think the bug was… The one which made Zeke Jaeger buy the app?”

“I don’t think there was a bug,” Levi said.

“What do you mean?” Farlan pressed.

“Get back to work you two.” Levi kept his voice firm, loud and authoritative. Something he would have rather not done, if it hadn’t been for the weight which came with what should have been a light piece of gossip, and his whittling ability to keep a stoic demeanor.

The deep dark internet. Levi watched his two companions. Their eyes were once again fixed on the screen, Farlan’s fingers were flying over the keyboard, Isabel was playing with some test device.

Deep enough at work for Levi to take his own quick break. He opened an incognito tab and put his headphones on.

One video or one article, and he’d get back to work. He found an interview, the opening questions had been the same familiar ones Farlan had been playing on speaker months ago.

He played the first few questions at twice the speed. He knew the answers already.

What inspired you to make the mood alarm?

“Love alarm… Codes… Yadayadayada…” Levi muttered just a loud enough for himself. Hange had been careful not to mention anything about a developer. He could see the way she had shifted gazes for just a second, seeming uncomfortable.

He couldn’t blame her. Isabel had said so herself, in the deep dark internet, maybe there were rumors of an affair.

And some journalists were aware.

Personal Life? Around the point that someone asked about her personal life, Levi slowed the clip down. They had timed it, to the exact point where Hange had tensed up and looked away for just a second.

“Can you tell us about your relationship with Zeke Jaeger? How has it been?”

“How did you feel when you realized he bought you the love alarm? Is it true he bought it to win you back?”

Hange was admirably professional about it. “We’re digressing now,” she said with a light hearted tone, a laugh which seemed more rehearsed than actually Hange’s.

Is it true you had an affair with another man? It wasn’t loud enough for Hange to have heard it, just a sound among others. When Levi had been looking for that question and it rang more loudly for him. He rewinded the video a few times just to make sure.

What the hell… No we didn’t… We. Didn’t. Have. An. Affair.

“Levi, are you okay?” Isabel asked

“What?”

“You were talking to yourself just now.”

Levi quickly closed the tab as Isabel looked over his shoulder. “Nothing, just looking at tickets,” he said. He went back to their ticketing application, opened a few more tickets and decided to table the research until later that evening.

***

The deep, dark internet.

With his own personal wifi and his own VPN, Levi had more wriggle room to dig deeper.

There was a mention of a fight, a marriage on the rocks, and the rumors only grew from there. The more Levi found, the more courage he mustered. It turned out, the process of scrolling through threads, joining chat groups had been nothing but liberating.

Liberating but infuriating.

The internet was an aggregate of bad takes and the occasional good one. From bad takes came horrible half baked rumors.

I swear, if they end up divorcing…

Jaeger should have dumped her fucking ass from the start.

Slut…

Whore…

Hange Zoe. Fucking gold digger.

There were rumors that she had manipulated Zeke for the money. Rumors that she had only married him to complete her PhD.

Levi quickly went through those.

Some of the people were nice though and Levi read those comments a little more slowly.

The mood alarm was Zoe’s deal.

The money Jaeger put into was a donation.

If they’re not happy, let them divorce.

And there were videos, particularly zoomed videos in events of Zeke and Hange in conventions and conferences, the latest one only a few months ago. Before Hange had visited the hospital.

In the most recent one, they were talking, just at the corner behind the stage, still visible from the camera. Levi rewinded the video again and again just to confirm their identity.

The Hange on the screen seemed indignant. Zeke had pulled her in by the waist, she pulled away. In response, Zeke had once again gone for her hands, pulling her towards him.

Just like back in the school gym.

It was different, that time in the gym Hange had been accepted yet determined at the same time. The Hange on the video, or the least, the one he could make out from the flailing of her hands, the stamping of her food on the ground, the moment she had pulled away then turned away was telling.

Hange wasn’t accepting anything anymore.

Levi scrolled through the comments.

If Hange Zoe divorces Zeke Jaeger… If she keeps possession of the mood alarm... she’s a gold digger.

She needed Jaeger funds to complete PhD… It’s Zeke Jaeger’s PhD not hers lmao XD

It was around the fifth most liked comment when Levi closed the tab, not bothering to bookmark the site. That was enough internet toxicity for the day.

***

“You’re transferring me?” Levi had ended up preempting the discussion.

Nifa and Moblit looked at each other, then back at him. Then Nifa nodded.

Moblit shook his head, creating some confusion. “No, we wanted your opinion on this first. The city we’ll be transferring you to isn’t very… convenient.”

“But you will be paid more,” Nifa said.

Since no one actually wants to live there. A fact no one actually admitted during those types of meetings but Levi had been in corporate long enough to know.

“And it’s just for a few years,” Moblit said, his tone, a tone of reassurance more than actual confidence. “Our hospital got special permission to do testing and research and we’ll need one support guy there. This is an important project for our hospital so...”

Levi had done a quick google search of the city under the table, a name he never heard of, and just the picture of a very sleepy town with not many buildings with even two floors was indicative. There was a reason why Moblit and Nifa seemed uncertain about a transfer.

There wasn’t much he did anyway in that city. How could moving away be any different?

“What’s this research about?” Levi asked.

Moblit responded to that more clearly and more confidently. “We’re planning to do further research, create programs for kids who grew up in difficult households to help them process emotions better. We’re starting with a few kids, on a small research facility up north… And having someone on call would be helpful.”

It didn’t take much to convince Levi after that. “There isn’t much for me to miss here anyway.” Really, he would have taken that transfer even without the pay raise.

***

There was peace and quiet which came with living in the middle of nowhere. Peace and quiet had a way of making Levi unbearably bored yet at the same time more perceptive as to why the hell no one wanted to live there in the first place.

Winters were cruel, with snow piling up meters high. Even in the summers, the sky was overcast and in all four seasons, the air still found a way to be suffocatingly dry.

Someone mentioned something about lake effects and something about rain shadows, and Levi couldn’t really tell which one was it. He wasn’t a scientist after all.

He was human though, a very simple minded human with no science degree. So he let the weather affect his moods, maybe even affect his long term philosophies in life. His current environment was too different from the bustling city he grew up in, or the other urban jungle he had lived the past five years of his life, he deemed his new home, the epitome of the middle of nowhere.

It was completely unfamiliar and by some psychological consequence to Levi, it was too far flung from his old life for Levi to even entertain anything about his old life, beyond work. So it became easier to take a more pragmatic approach at reminiscing.

A few months into his transfer, he had even started reading articles on Zeke and Hange again.

Billionaire Zeke Jaeger finalizes divorce would Mood Alarm founder Hange Zoe.

Then the comments section:

That was fast.

I knew it, Zoe’s a gold digger.

There was the string of names, whore, sluts, cheaters and gold diggers that never made too much sense as sentences. So Levi quickly closed the tab.

You actually did it. He thought to himself. And when he thought a little longer about it, he realized he did feel happy for her.

Happy? Sad? Disappointed? Out of curiosity, he opened his own mood alarm and clicked activate. It glowed with a bright green.

He could have been happier.

Levi decided to blame the sky for his fickle mood. That grey view that stretched far unimpeded by any of the surrounding low rising buildings, only ending by the mountains that seemed hundreds of miles away.

The surrounding mountains and the large lake followed him to work. An overly scenic landscape that reminded him, the train back to the capital only came once a day, the train that passed through the next major city only passed three times a day.

And fucking hell, train tickets were expensive.

By some modern day definition, Levi really was trapped in the middle of nowhere.

The weather only made him more cynical, yet angrier at the tasteless comments under the news article on Zeke and Hange’s divorce. As he neared the research center, he ended up tabling that reflection with one sentence, something comforting yet oddly depressing.

Hange wouldn’t look for me. Then he brushed it away violently soon after. The audacity of even considering the prospect that he was important enough for her to want to search for him. Why would Hange care where he is?

The fact that Hange was followed by the press while he was trapped in the middle of nowhere was indicative enough. They were from two completely different worlds.

***

It may have taken months more, but what Levi clocked to a ‘bout of wanderlust’ eventually settled. He found, keeping himself busy with the right work had done wonders to placate the turmoil inside him.

Keeping busy somehow made it easier to sit up and get ready for work. It meant managing to desensitize his own moods to the weather around him.

Most importantly, it meant seeing some connection with the world, some sliver of motivation to go the extra mile with the people who worked with.

“Early as always, Ackerman.” Same greeting everyday.

“Morning to you too, Onyankopon,” Levi responded as he entered the irsmall office.

Onyankopon was a companion duringearly in the mornings, lunch times, late afternoons and sometimes, even the dinners when he would invite Levi out for a drink in the only bar for miles around.

Still, it made life remotely eventful when the only changing things had been the weather and his work.

And his work was very eventful.

“Uncle Levi! Did you find any bugs yesterday?” Just like every other morning, the two kids would burst through the door. Or more specifically, the brunette was always the one bursting through the door, the blonde just followed.

“Gaby, you might be bothering them,” Falco said. He said that at least three times a week.

Levi had never been the type anyway to tell them he didn’t mind their morning visits. It always meant something to look forward to.

“Nothing so far,” Levi said. He looked towards Onyakopon, the one in charge of reporting issues. “Hopefully.”

Onyankopon raised his hands in defense. “Don’t get mad at me, get mad at the devs who created the mood alarm in the first place."

Levi was constantly mad at the devs anyway, if he considered that constant state of self loathing. Working on the mood alarm as support had only made Levi realize how many shortcuts he had taken into making that damn application years ago.

“There’s nothing today,” Levi said as he looked at the two kids. “But I could give you a quick lesson,” he added. He couldn’t say no to the crestfallen faces of the two kids.

He dragged one seat next to him and guided Gaby to one of them and Falco to his own seat. “When I want to look for errors in the code, I look here first.” It was a terribly boring lesson, a useless one. Support 101. At the least, the kids seemed satisfied. “If I right click here, and then inspect, I can see what this website is made out of.”

Gaby let out a breath, a mix between a ‘wow’ and an ‘oh.’ “I can’t read it.”

“It’s another language,” Levi explained. “Computers don’t understand our language. So we have to learn another language to be able to talk to them. And when we’re able to tell them what we want, they’ll do things for us, things we can’t do ourselves.”

Gaby had asked more questions after that. Falco had asked his own too, albeit hesitantly.

The difference between the network and console tabs, the meanings of the strange brackets, what happens if they just aimlessly click…

That morning session ended with less than half the questions answered, and a promise to teach them more the next morning. Like every other day before, at eight in the morning, Onyankopon brought them to the activity room and Levi was left alone in the office.

There weren’t many people in the research center, only five employees in total. After all, there were only ten to twenty kids who came and went every day, a very manageable number for five people. He and Onyankopon shared an office and with Onyankopon busy a good chunk of the day, Levi was left alone.

With his own efficient working methods and his outstanding ability to quickly pick out the bugs, Levi was usually free for a cumulated five hours a day.

When he first started working there, his five hour long breaks consisted of reading novels or whatever stupid article came up on his timeline. He could have taken longer breaks yet chose to spend them as short sporadic bouts of inactivity

By spreading out periods of inactivity, Levi managed to somehow pacify the guilt at ‘doing nothing’ while being paid for the eight hours a day. There were times, it was strong, remnants maybe of his stint with the love alarm, barely taking leaves, willingly putting him through the pain of overtime.

Some days, they were particularly strong, sometimes incomprehensible that Levi suspected they could have been related to the burning curiosity, the burning attachment to his own application that never abated.

A burning attachment, a natural need to be productive eventually resulted in sporadic bouts of unproductivity spent just testing the mood alarm all for a brief look into his own emotions.

Even when he wasn’t feeling anything in particular, the application continued to glow colors, just flitting between greens and blues. They could have been yellows or oranges maybe, when Onyankopon or Gabi or Falco visited. He had never been the type to wear his heart on his sleeve though and thus, had never opened it with them around.

That day wasn’t any different. Alone in the office, he opened it again, held it in his hands and watched the colored blobs swim amongst each other, mix amongst one another, then disappear.

Blue or Green? That day it was blue. Why blue and why not green? He could never ask. ‘How’ was always an easier question to answer. He only had to connect his phone to the PC then boot up the dashboard.

His next break, he decided to try a visualization exercise, like every other time before.

Memories never seemed to do the trick. He’d take a risk and dive deep, into his memories with Hange, his anger at the situation, the loss of a life before. Yet it all came out greens and blues. The alarm rang, an almost deafening sound in the silent room and for a split second, it had Levi attentive and a little paranoid. Levi knew though, with the thick concrete walls around him, it was a sound just for him.

He connected his phone to the dashboard and booted the PC again.

There were numbers. He switched to a bar graph view, noting how there were terms, hormones and chemicals he could only barely make sense of. But the blue and the green bars higher than usual yet still very low were signs in themselves.

That morning was a normal morning. And every morning since he built that habit had been a normal morning.

The only thing which ended up different about that day was when footsteps sounded just outside the door. If Levi had been listening closely, he would have been able to point out, those weren't a rhythm of footsteps he was particularly privy too.

But normal mornings tended to desensitize people. Footsteps weren’t particularly interesting either.

In a town with only a few hundred people, it would most likely be someone who already lived there. He continued to work. He disconnected his phone from the dashboard and played with the mood alarm in his own phone again.

The door clicked open behind him, slowly enough for the creak to sound, then fast enough for the slam to come right after yet gently.

Onyankopon always opened the door a little wider, always slamming the door behind him and in between, there was always a greeting. If Levi had been more aware of his surroundings, maybe the lack of all that could have peaked his interest.

In the grand scheme of things though, the door slamming wasn’t anything particularly interesting. Levi continued to sit and stare at his phone.

“Levi Ackerman.”

A voice in an empty room though, was always an interesting thing. By some natural inclination towards voices, any presence in a room that was always his by mid morning, Levi was listening.

Making sense of the voice was a surprisingly slow process. The mood alarm reacted first.

The alarm sounded.

A wave climbed from his chest up until his neck, there was a bristle at the back of his neck, a tickle at his ears, then something pricked at his eyes. He looked down at the alarm before he could completely understand. The colors continued to swim then mix.

They always disappeared and finalized the reading in five seconds.

A second or two passed, and the colors still didn’t look at all in a hurry to disappear.

You’re going crazy Levi. He took a deep breath. He was dreaming. Because what the fuck. Of course she wouldn’t be here. She had an international company to run.

“Levi…” The voice sang. “That’s you right?”

Don’t look back.

“Or maybe there are just a lot of developers named Levi in this world… “ The footsteps were only getting closer. “Developers who are just really good at using the mood alarm.” Then the voice was right next to him.

When she had settled on that seat right at his peripherals, he couldn’t exactly chalk it up to a fevered dream. The mood alarm in his hands continued to ring. He could have sworn at least five seconds had passed. Yet the colors never disappeared, countless colors still swimming around on the interface as the mood alarm continued to read his emotions.

Levi had never been a master of articulation. The war of colors, the chaos on the phone were the best visual representation. He struggled to find the right words, but she continued to stare from his peripherals, her face many things at once.

Apologetic? Expectant?

“It is you,” she said, triumph and relief apparent in her tone.

That only pissed Levi off more. Another emotion added to his boiling pot. Eventually Levi thought it necessary to respond. With too little time, too little mindspace to even attempt to articulate, Levi kept himself to three words, the only three which could have meant everything at once.

“What the fuck.”

In response, she let out a soft laugh. “Are you crying?”

Crying? Now that Levi did think about it, there had been a crack in her voice too. Levi looked up to see her, smiling. Her eyes were smiling too. Then he followed the tear streak that barely grazed the side of her lip.

There was enough time, enough silence for Levi to gather himself. To stare at the reading on the application that couldn’t seem to decide what emotion Levi was feeling.

With enough self discipline, enough concentration, Levi managed to speak. “Hange, if you ask people why they’re crying, you’re just gonna make it worse.”

***

There was only one tea shop in the town, a tea shop which naturally, Levi had chosen as his favorite hang out spot.

Over the months, he had grown familiar with it and in turn, it had grown to become an intimate friend. An intimate friend he had never expected to ever introduce to Hange.

Onyankopon and Moblit had joined them for tea though, and suddenly, Hange didn’t feel like Hange. It could have been the way she shifted to an ‘all business’ demeanor or maybe a part of him was still trying to rationalize what he had deemed to be a very irrational thought.

Maybe he had imagined visiting the cafe with Hange a few times. The realist inside him though, had always believed it to be impossible. At that moment, the dreamer inside him was still taking its victory lap.

“You should have told us you’d be coming. We could have set up something better than late afternoon tea,” Onyankopon said. Either way, he seemed very happy to see them.

Moblit took a sip from his cup then revealed an apologetic smile underneath as he put the cup down. “Apologies for visiting all of a sudden. Doctor Zoe is a very impulsive person.”

Hange nodded. “I hope you don’t mind. As soon as I heard about this, I hopped on the next plane just to get here as soon as possible,” she said “I’m hoping to start something like this in the hospitals back home.”

Moblit put his cup down. “Right, I never got to properly introduce you to Levi.” He turned to Onyankopon then to Levi. “But I’m sure you’ve had a fair share of introductions… You did barge into his office this morning.” He had an apologetic look on his face.

“Hey, Doctor Zoe just wanted to see how we were using the software,” Onyankopon said in Hange’s defense. “I’m more than honored to see that the founder of the mood alarm is taking the time to even wander around our facility.”

Moblit cleared his throat. “Anyway, Levi, this is Doctor Hange Zoe, the founder of the mood alarm application. She visited our main hospital a year back but if I remember correctly, you were on leave right?”

“On a personal leave,” Levi clarified. He couldn’t find much else to say. He took a long sip of tea.

“This is Levi Ackerman,” Moblit said. “One of our best in IT support. He learned how to use your application pretty fast.”

“Yes…” Hange said. “And ever since you told me about him, I’ve been very excited to meet him.” Her grin only got wider as she studied his features, her eyes giving him a good once over. “I guess that’s the reason I ended up taking my own tour of the center while you too were catching up. I wanted to see your genius IT support in action,” she joked.

It was almost unbelievable that that morning, Hange had showed a completely different side to him. She had wiped her own tears pretty fast, shifting her expression to something very professional as soon as Onyankopon and Moblit had entered the office just that morning.

The whole afternoon, Hange was busy with activities and tours of the town, Levi busy with his own work. They barely got to talk. Fortunately, that had allowed Levi time to compose himself, enough to keep a straight face when Onyankopon had invited them over for some tea.

Then and there, there were conversations of partnerships and business, almost reminiscent to whatever bullshit he had to deal with in his old company. But this conversation had Hange, and Hange had shifted her gaze towards him enough times for Levi to feel it only proper to reciprocate.

“Once this project is over, would you consider letting Levi go?” Hange asked. “I’d love to have him visit our main office, maybe help out with some of our development work.”

Moblit shook his head vigorously. “No hesitation. It always felt like he was overqualified for this type of job.”

“By the way you talk about him, I can tell.” She looked at Levi knowingly, a silent form of communication just between both of them. She turned back to Moblit then Onyankopon, her face once again all business. “There are many things I hope to still improve with this application so any support on research, troubleshooting, development is very much appreciated.”

“What do you suggest?” Moblit asked.

A quick glance at Onyankopon and Levi knew he was asking the same question.

Hange put one finger to her chin in thought “A partnership…”

It looked like they had expected Hange to talk Levi’s ear off non stop about the application. Moblit had mentioned something about going straight home while Hange discussed the partnership with Levi, mentioning bugs, the debugger that had been stuck in the system and the bugs which Levi had been quick to point out.

Levi, being respectful, had only listened.

That was until Onyankopon and Moblit offered to walk ahead, leaving Levi and Hange alone on the red brick road overlooking the large lake.

It was early in the evening but it still felt like late afternoon. The sun never set until seven or eight during the mid months of spring.

Yet, the streets was empty, bereft of anything but the both of them.

With one quick scan of their surroundings, Hange turned back to him, she bit her lip and took a deep breath.

Her demeanor was suddenly a stark contrast with the enthusiastic, eloquent one back at a cafe. The sudden transformation was enough for Levi to tense up,

Hange spoke up. “This town really sleeps early,” she commented. “You're planning on going home now too?”

“I usually go home an hour earlier, especially on weekdays,” Levi responded. “I’m only out at this time because they invited me for late afternoon tea.” Technically it was dinner.

“Do you go home….” Hange started, she paused for a second, a very out-of-place pause. “To anyone?”

It took a lot of effort for Levi to resist choking or even letting out a ghost of a laugh at that question. I’m married to my job. That was the answer that popped into his mind out of instinct.

“Did I make it time?” Hange added a second later, only reminding Levi that he hadn’t even mustered a glimmer of answer.

“Make it in time?” Levi asked, in an attempt to stall for time.

“Petra…”

“She married Oluo.”

Hange didn’t seem satisfied. “Is there someone else…” she pressed. “Someone else...”

Hange started to speak with her hands, gesturing for Levi to ‘go on,’ in some awkward wave of a hand. The first awkward gesture Hange had done since they arrived.

Levi couldn’t help but just appreciate that bout of vulnerability he could pull out of her. “There is,” he said.

Just for a second, Hange’s face fell and for a moment Levi relished it.

“Oh…” Hange turned away. “Then, I should take you home… I’d love to meet her…”

Then suddenly, Levi felt just a little bad for that trick. “I was fucking kidding,” he said.

Hange let out a loud sigh of relief, an ugly huff and she looked away, suddenly self conscious.

Levi had to admit, it was an ugly snort. He was tempted to take a good look at her face, and maybe he had craned his neck as she kept silent for a second longer. “I’m not some idiot who would marry someone just because it’s convenient," he said.

“Give me a break. I just graduated from college when I decided to get married,” Hange said. “Besides, we enjoyed each other’s company.”

“If you chose that type of life, I wouldn’t have stopped you. Besides, you had a lot on the line, your PhD, your mood alarm, the love alarm, your reputation. It wouldn’t have been easy choice to make.”

Hange hummed. “The PhD is done, my reputation, I don’t give too much of a rat’s ass about that. And the mood alarm? That has always been mine. I put my own money into building that business.”

“It definitely wasn’t cheap.”

“It wasn’t,” Hange admitted. “What if I told you, I earned my own capital for building it in one night in a casino.”

Levi's thoughts flew back to the night at the casino. He grinned. “I’d believe you.”

“So the mood alarm is mine and I managed to keep it,” Hange said. “But I never forgot you know... The plans, the codes, they’re all yours.”

“So you did get the email,” Levi said.

Hange nodded. “And the email got me thinking…” she trailed off for what seemed like an eternity.

Levi couldn’t wait. “About what?”

Hange thought for a few seconds longer, putting her hands behind her back. “That ended up one reason why I even considered leaving Zeke,” she said. “He has a different way of loving, I have a different one too. Love is freedom. Love is just trusting. Zeke on the other hand, always likes to play safe, tie people down.”

“What happened to ‘love is a choice?’”

Hange seemed unperturbed. “Love still is a choice.”

“Then why not choose to love Zeke?” Levi challenged.

Hange sighed and put one hand up. “You said it yourself, deciding to leave wouldn’t be an easy decision,” she started. “I considered three things.”

She put one finger up. “Our own views of love. Zeke sees it as a game, as an investment and he approaches it conservatively… On the other hand, I see love and relationships as a form of freedom, a risk. In love, I don't believe in playing to win.”

She put another finger up. “I considered how I was feeling, this really weird feeling, my thoughts on Pemberley then on colors.”

“I thought you didn’t want to be a slave to your emotions.”

Hange shook her head. “I’m not. I approached this methodically. Even before considering my feelings, I considered my circumstances.” She put the third finger up. “I considered the backlash, I considered Zeke’s feelings, dealing with a divorce. And that’s what brought me here, despite the criticism, despite my inability to buy the love alarm and to barely salvage the mood alarm.”

“You still gave in to your emotions.”

Hange nodded. “After thinking long and hard about it, I did. But before that, I weighed all three, and I decided to take the risk.”

“Was it worth it?”

Hange shrugged and she leaned over the rail, seeming mesmerized by the lake. “I won’t know yet but I guess, even when I thought you had someone else…” There was a flash of hurt on her face, enough for Levi to regret playing that little joke on her.

“I don’t have anyone else,” Levi clarified.

Hange continued to speak. “I still thought the risk was worth taking. It would have been unfair to Zeke if I stayed and who am I to stop you if someone makes you feel happy.” She turned back to him. “This is the way I’ll choose to love. I’ll weigh my emotions, my circumstances and my worst case scenarios. Then I decide the most loving thing to do. If I have to take a risk, I take it. And I guess, given all that, looking for you seemed like the correct decision.”

Levi couldn’t stifle that smile any longer, and he hoped somehow, his own words would stop it from getting any wider. “Well, it's too early to tell if it's a good decision.”

Hange opened her phone and opened the application. “Can we try again?”

“You wanna use the love alarm?” Levi asked. “Your ex-husband’s application.”

“It’s still your brainchild,” Hange said as she waited for it to load. She hovered her thumb over it.

“I don’t have it installed,” Levi said.

“I can wait,” Hange said. And there was no room for argument in her voice.

An awkward few minutes as Hange watched him download the application. Levi focused on the loading bar, and luckily, his biometrics were still registered from that brief experiment of a year ago.

“On three…” Hange said, her voice a little stilted.

But they didn’t finish counting or maybe they just counted at completely different paces.

The alarms rang, filling the empty space between them, two rings which never seemed to find a uniform pace. Even with a very dominant fastidious side though, Levi wasn’t thinking too much about such a small detail.

Hange’s was smiling, grinning, or whatever that was called. Her face was a mix between pure ecstasy and pure passion. She wrinkled her eyes at him, her mouth climbed into a grin wider than he had ever been used to.

She let out a loud sigh. “I was fucking scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“That you would have gotten over me… I dunno, thought you might just think love was a choice, and I dunno, stop feeling whatever that love alarm thing was feeling.”

“I don’t think the love alarm works like that,” Levi said. Really, he started to realize he didn’t know how it worked.

Hange shook her head. “I’m probably just overthinking. You know… I learned how to code over the years, talked to a few developers and tried to look into how the application works,” she said.

“Did you find anything?”

“Remember when you told me that the love alarm starts to figure out for its own what love is. It creates its own definition. Something we can’t even comprehend...” Hange was still grinning, her voice coming out as breaths and sometimes sounds.

Still, Levi could comprehend most of it. “You have any theories?” he pressed. Hange always had theories.

“Soulmates? Relationships in a past life?” Hange suggested.

“Well, we can’t really look back at those right?” Levi said. “Well, what else?”

One word, one word out of Hange’s mouth. “Pemberley.”

“Pemberley?” Levi asked. Somehow though as Hange looked back at the lake, up at the sky then at the gaudy main street of that small town. Levi started to understand it himself.

“It’s ugly here,” Levi said. At first he had meant it. As Hange started to look at her surroundings then back at the lake, with a look of wonder in her eyes, Levi was sure he had meant it as a challenge.

“When you’re in love then with the person we love, everywhere starts to feel like Pemberley,” Hange completed a second later.

Does it? And he wondered why the hell, he needed Hange to point it out.

They were in an ugly town, a place people were paid to live in. The sky was constantly overcast. When it wasn’t raining, it was snowing and it snowed six months a year. When it wasn’t snowing or raining, the sky was at least threatening it.

The way that Hange had looked at it with such naive wonder, the way she had just stood there, looking at everything and back at him, Levi couldn’t help but entertain the idea of Pemberley.

Maybe give the colors a chance to show themselves? Hange didn’t say it out loud. In the moment they made eye contact though, Levi couldn’t help but just give that little piece of advice a chance, whether it had been his own or Hange’s.

He looked first at the main road and the red brick path, noting how the gaudy red, worn by the elements more than actual foot traffic seemed to still glow a bright red despite the grey undertones. He then looked to the buildings, varying shades of concrete grey yet ‘the varying shades’ of it seemed to still have some sense of novelty.

He then looked back at the ocean, the dark sky above never allowed it a more beautiful shade of blue, yet the bluish black still continued to glow. The waves only sent glimmers of silver against the dark blue. Then it was only natural that he looked up at the sky, the sky which never allowed any other shade for itself, except on a few select days a year.

The fog blocked whatever green the mountains beyond the lake would have shown him.

Looking back at Hange then back at his surroundings, he started to accept it. There were greens, reds, blues, yellows and every other color in the spectrum. The world glowed with so many colors, so many lights and sounds. His emotions were a whirlwind that spun to whatever rhythm the lights and colors blinked at.

Colors persevered and they’ve always persevered.

Emotions persevered and they’ve always persevered.

Even emotions we don’t understand ourselves. Levi added to himself.

Maybe Hange was right. That was what the love alarm had been trying to show. The one person who made the colors, the emotions all the clearer.

“This is a beautiful place,” Hange said. “And I wouldn’t mind staying here, lay low a bit, just long enough for people to forget the divorce fiasco.”

“There are a few nice places here,” Levi said.

Hange continued to stare.

Why don’t we just live here together right Levi?

I know you, you wouldn’t be able to stay out of the action.

Levi felt almost ashamed at that mystery response that seemed to pop into his head out of nowhere. We can live here long enough to get our shit together. "First things first, let’s discuss this partnership, over tea in my house.”

“Now?” Hange’s widened her eyes. And her eyes were smiling.

“Well, unless you have other plans tonight,” Levi said.

Hange shook her head. “Nothing much…”

They made the whole way back to his home in silence. Surprisingly, Levi preferred it that way. It had been enough for him to appreciate his new comprehension of his surroundings, the small details he hadn't noticed before.

It wasn’t just the view. The rhythm of their footsteps, their uncoordinated breathing, and just the way the trees rustled, the wind blew, always found a way to glow different colors. His emotions, the chaos of every moment after that were also challenging him to find their colors.

And the circumstances that had them locked in his cramped apartment, sitting over tea, with no one else watching, nothing restricting them had Levi reflecting. It probably had Hange reflecting too. They spoke unhindered with just thoughts, expressions and locked gazes.

For one reason or the other, it happened quickly and abruptly, leaving no space or time to comprehend it.

Sitting on his living room sofa right next to her. Hands clasped against the other. Her dry lips were on his.

The magic welling in his chest, the thunder that climbed quickly up his throat, persevering even underneath the grey. They were all screaming at him then, they all glowed colors.

At that moment though, he had been to tired to reflect on it for any longer. He decided to just roll with it.

It was no use making sense of it. After all, life, love and emotions... They were all just complicated that way.

#levihan #levihan fanfiction

86 notes · View notes

louiseleblancdiggory · 4 years ago

Note

okay but what about a 'The Way I Loved You' by TS Au for Rowaelin with Punk!Rowan?? pretty please??

A/N: The way I rushed to post this. I have a bunch of fanfics to write before October is over, and now that I’m finally not sick anymore, I’ve been trying to rush and write them but this prompt.....

The Way I Loved You

“So I’ll pick you up at seven, right?”

Aelin smiled, nodding. “Yeah, seven is perfect.”

Chaol smiled back, putting a hand on her back as he bent down to kiss her. Even though she knew she shouldn’t, Aelin tensed slightly. She had been dating Chaol for three months now, and it wasn’t that kissing him made her uncomfortable, it was just different.

For two and a half years, she had been used to kissing a different guy.

A guy she could feel the stare at the back of her head.

Chaol withdrew, still smiling at her. Aelin forced a smile to appear on her lips, giving him a quick peck on the lips before taking a step back. She needed to go to her class, and even though she didn’t let herself turn around to confirm, she knew Rowan was still staring at her.

Part of her could understand the staring. They had broken up four months ago, and Aelin rushed to find someone new. Not to throw it at his face that she could, but just because she had felt so fucking bad at the end of their relationship, that she figured that the best cure was to jump right back at another one. It kinda worked most of the time. The other part of her, the part that felt like the solution wasn’t working out perfectly, wished he would just start ignoring her existence. Would stop looking at her, being in the same room that she was.

Preferably, stop being in the same continent that she was.

As she left the senior lounge— pointedly not looking back— she let her mind wander to months and months back when all this tension didn’t exist. Aelin had known Rowan since forever. He had been at her class from elementary school until high school, and she knew that they were also going to the same college when they graduated in two months. Until sophomore year of high school, though, Aelin had never exchanged more than three words with him. They had been different at everything their entire lives, and so both never showed any interest in having a single conversation with one another. In elementary school, while Aelin focused on the art classes, Rowan only ever showed a human reaction during music class. In middle school while she was part of every single club she could find, Rowan had been too busy avoiding every club that could find him. In high school, while Aelin dedicated her life to her grades, being cheer captain and part of the volleyball team, Rowan simply worked towards paying off his motorcycle, working at Lorcan’s dad’s mechanic shop, and almost getting arrested every now and then.

Honestly, it had been a miracle that they even knew about each other’s existence.

The only reason they actually met was because of Chemistry. Aelin had absolute no interest in the subject, but since her mother had been bothering her to take it, she relented during her second year of high school. As she had chosen to take it in advanced placement, they had a whole period of the normal class plus the addition of half a period of laboratory. To her chagrin at the time, she got paired up for the labs with the single person in the whole class she wasn’t friends with.

Rowan fucking Whitethorn.

She found some comfort in realizing that he was just as excited to work with her as she was to work with him, but since he was always polite during the labs, she didn’t find a reason to dislike him. He was coldly neutral, and, surprisingly, a fucking genius. If it hadn’t been for him, Aelin would have bombed every single lab, quiz and test they had in that godforsaken class.

Despite both of their reputations, Aelin found out that she had more in common with him than it looked, and that she also liked him a lot more than she would have ever thought. When comfortable around people, he was actually pretty chill and funny. One of the biggest things that made her befriend him, though, was the fact that he didn’t fucking care about anything that didn’t concern him. Rumors? He was too busy for that. Reputations? Nope. Social status? Couldn’t care less.

While so many people in the school saw her as an athletic bimbo, Rowan met her with absolute 0 preconceptions because he never fucking cared about them. Since the beginning, he met Aelin for who she really was, and not the person everyone at the school had a different perception of.

Maybe this was one of the reasons she fell so deeply in love with him.

Things had been normalish. They didn’t know about each other, they met, became friends and then started dating. Nothing too out of the ordinary.

The dating though.

Dating Rowan had been… wild. Not in the bad sense, no. It had been like a roller-coaster all the time. Like driving down an empty highway at 150 per hour, windows open, and screaming your lungs out. It had been fun, and it had made her feel so alive that she could still feel it when she closed her eyes. It had made her blood boil, every single nerve jump. And yet, at the same time, being with him never made her feel so calm, so comfortable. Rowan was what shook her world, but also what made her feel steady.

Loving Rowan Whitethorn had been the biggest adventure of her life.

Their relationship had been the perfect mixture of actual love and burning passion.

The passion was sometimes almost blinding, and it made her do things she would have never though she’d have the courage to do. Rowan encouraged her to push her limits— always safely, he’d make sure of that—, and Aelin enjoyed her life to the maximum. They went on a trip across the east coast on his motorcycle during the summer, went bungee jumping at the neighboring state to celebrate his birthday, and skydiving to celebrate hers. Aelin had asked her dad once, at two in the morning, to take her to the police station to bail Rowan out after he punched someone hard enough to make the other guy black out. The fact Aelin’s dad hadn’t killed her and Rowan after it had been a miracle.

The love, though, the love was her favorite part. Loving Rowan was so easy and so different from what she thought loving someone would be. She always thought that love was that blinding emotion, that easy thing that made you burn from inside out, but no. That was passion, and while it was good, love was… more. Loving him had been like sitting at a beach in the end of the afternoon, the wind on her face and the disappearing sun still warming your skin. Loving hadn’t make her feel like combusting, it had made her feel like home. It wasn’t always easy to be in love all the time, but she also found out that the hardships made part of loving.

Love, she learned, was choosing someone every day, the good and the bad, even when you didn’t feel like it. Love wasn’t always perfect, but it was always worth it.

But they fought. Oh, they fought a lot. Despite Rowan’s careless behavior, he was just as stubborn as she was. Their fights had always been filled with screaming, always making her blood boil in a different way. Even when fighting with him, Aelin had never felt more alive. In the end, however, most of their fights were stupid. They never fought about serious shit, and the screaming matches were usually about fucking nothing. They both had been too stubborn to see this, too stubborn to admit that both were usually wrong

The denial was what broke everything.

Aelin didn’t think Rowan would actually think they were breaking up. It was another one of their stupid screaming matches, and Aelin blurted out the first thing that came to her mind. She had been too proud to say she didn’t mean it, and so things ended because of nothing.

She could still see the whole scene. Could still see Rowan going still, narrowing his eyes and then shrugging as if it was nothing. Could still see him leaving. Could still hear her heart breaking. She knew since that instant that she should have gone after him.

She didn’t. He should have known.

And now he would be staring at her every now and then, would be like a fucking buzzard over her life.

“Hello, Earth to Aelin.” She felt a hand on her shoulder, a hand snapping its fingers in front of her face. She snapped back to reality, raising her head to stare at her cousin’s face. Her best friend, Lysandra, was by his side, staring at her with as much concern as Aedion was. “You ok?”

Aelin shook away from his grip, forcing a smile to her lips. “Never been better.”

————

Aelin waved Chaol goodbye, waiting until his car left her driveway to get inside the house.

She sighed, dropping her shoes down as she walked quietly to the kitchen. It was almost two in the morning, and she didn’t want to wake her parents.

Despite her efforts to keep quiet, she couldn’t help the scream that left her mouth when she turned on one of the kitchen lights and saw her father sitting there.

She put a hand to her chest, trying to calm her racing heart. “What the hell?”

“Was that necessary?” Rhoe asked, a smirk on his face.

Aelin scowled. “Why are you sitting in the dark?”

“Makes it all more dramatic.” Her dad shrugged, and Aelin rolled her eyes. She walked to one of the cabinets, taking out a bottle of water. “Aelin.”

She turned at her father’s tone, frowning when she saw his expression. “You’re the one that said no curfew.”

Rhoe shook his head, patting the seat by his side. “Come here, firefly.”

Aelin set the bottle down, cautiously sitting by her father’s side. He had a strange expression on his face, body somewhat tense. “What happened?”

“You like Chaol?”

Aelin frowned at the question, scoffing a little. “Yeah, he’s my boyfriend.”

“You used to have a different boyfriend.” Her dad said, and Aelin understood what the conversation was about.

“Seriously, dad?” She went on the defensive immediately, crossing her arms. “That was months ago. And I thought you didn’t even like Rowan.”

Rhoe actually laughed, a serene smile on his face. “Nah, I actually liked the kid. Despite the motorcycle, the black clothes, constant scowl, and the criminal record, he was a nice guy. And he made you happy. What else a father could wish?”

“Someone who doesn’t have a criminal record?”

Rhoe shrugged. “It’s not like I didn’t agree with him that time I had to take you to bail him out. Some guy harassed Lysandra, Rowan punched them.”

“You sound almost appreciative.” Aelin said, still on the defensive even though a small part of her smiled internally.

Rhoe smiled knowingly. “I am.”

Aelin scoffed, but didn’t say nothing in return. Her father let her gather her thoughts, and both sat in silence for a few minutes before Aelin said quietly. “Chaol is a nice guy.”

Her dad nodded. “He is.”

“He seems easy to love.”

Rhoe got up, pressing a kiss to his daughter’s hair. “No one is easy to love, firefly. That’s one of the main points of loving. We value it so much because it is hard to find, because it is hard to keep.” Aelin raised her head to look at her dad, and he smiled at her. “I’m not telling you what to do. You’re grown enough to take your own decisions. I’m also not telling you to go to a bad relationship, not in the slightest. If I thought something was harmful to you, I’d be the first intervening. But have in mind that people fight sometimes. Gods, me and your mother when we were younger? Like fucking cat and dog.”

Aelin huffed a laugh, vaguely remembering the stories her parents told her.

“But,” Rhoe continued. “It gets better with time, and I think you know that. You get more mature, learn to admit when you’re wrong. I remember when you and Rowan were younger and fought about everything, and yet it got better and better with time. The two of you barely argued during the last year.”

“I know.” Aelin whispered, resting her face against her father’s chest. He hugged her, rubbing her back like he used to when she was younger. She knew that he was right. Despite the fact that she argued a lot with Rowan, Aelin also knew that it had gotten much better. They fought less, and the reason of the arguments never got worse. It was usually childish and they’d laugh about it in the following morning. “I didn’t mean to actually break up with him. I never though he’d think I would break up with him over something so stupid.”

Even though she was whispering, Rhoe heard her. “I know.”

“And I should have told him that.”

“Yes, you should have.”

“I was wrong.”

“You were.”

“I’m not going back to him, though.” Aelin said, some stubbornness still in her. Rowan had absolutely left that day, and didn’t give her the chance to explain afterwards. They were apart for her fault, yes, but he wasn’t the saint in all this.

Rhoe groaned. “Really, Ace?”

Aelin crossed her arms. “He was very comfortable with the breakup. Why should I bother?”

“This whole conversation was for nothing?” Her dad crossed his arms, shaking his head.

“Not for nothing. I know now that I need to stop things with Chaol. I shouldn’t have even started dating him if I wasn’t going to commit completely.” Aelin raised her head to look at her dad. “Gosh, I’m a terrible person.”

“No, you’re young. Young people fuck up sometimes.” Rhoe kissed her head one more time before he started to walk out of the kitchen. He didn’t try to bring up going back to Rowan again, knowing that it would only make her more keen on not doing so. “But now that you recognize this, I hope you fix it. I didn’t raise you to be a liar, let that be by lying to others or to yourself.”

“Gods, you could have ended this conversation a little more lightly.”

Rhoe turned his face around, smiling at her. “Fix it, firefly.”

————

“Aelin? What happened? I left you at your house twenty minutes ago.” Chaol said, rubbing his eyes. He obviously was going to sleep already, and Aelin felt bad about doing this in the middle of the night but she had to get everything done already.

“I can’t do this.” She blurted out, an apologetic look on her face. “I’m so sorry.”

“What?”

“This. Us.” She signaled in between them. “I juts can’t.”

Chaol took a step forward, a frown on his face. “We’re going too fast? I can go in whatever pace you want but—“

“I know this is gonna sound like a shit excuse but it’s really not you, it’s me.” She said, cringing. It was terrible that she used the oldest breaking up method in the book, but it was true.

“Really, Aelin?” He crossed his arms, face morphing into anger. “This bullshit excuse?”

“I understand you’re mad, but I’m really, really sorry. I don’t want to lead you on, and you’re so nice and deserves someone who is completely willing to make the relationship work.” Aelin said pleadingly. “It’s not anything you did or didn’t do, I’m just—“

She wanted to feel as if her heart was breaking, but not even that. Instead, she was feeling relieved. The feeling angered her to no end. She should have been able to fall in love with a perfectly nice and calm guy, but Rowan’s presence had become like a ghost in her life and not even that was possible anymore.

“Not interested.” He finished, voice full of scorn. “If I’m oh so nice, why are you breaking up with me?”

“I—“ Aelin hesitated, not wanting to even mention Rowan. “I just can’t. I can’t be with you.”

“With me specifically.” Chaol said, grounding his jaw. After a second of silence, he let out an incredulous laugh. “Oh, I should have expected that. I’m the very nice guy, and yet you prefer the fucking asshole that Whitethorn is.”

Aelin felt a pang of anger. Of course Cahol would think that. “I’m really sorry. You are a nice guy, it’s really nothing with you.”

“Why don’t you just leave?” Chaol said, already closing the door. “And stay away from me.”

Aelin had the feeling that he didn’t want to hear to any more excuses, and so she just gave him another apologetic look before turning around and going back to her car.

Although breaking up with Chaol had been bad, she knew it wasn’t gonna be the worst part of her night because at that moment, Aelin was pissed enough to want to pick a fight.

And she knew exactly who she was going to pick it with.

As she drove to the apartment Rowan shared with Lorcan and his dad, Aelin went over and over what she was going to say when she got there. Knowing both her personality and Rowan’s, she knew that things would go south very quickly.

Her hands were sweating as she went up the stairs of the four stories building, fingers flexing over and over again as she gathered courage to knock on the door.

Part to her relief, part to her disappointment, no one answered. She knocked again. And again. And again.

On the sixth knock, the door opened violently, and Aelin found herself staring up at Lorcan Salvaterre.

His pissed off face quickly morphed into confusion, and he crossed his arms, leaning against the door frame. “Bimbo?”

Even being all pissed, Aelin rolled her eyes. Lorcan hadn’t like her in the beginning, but now both were actually close friends. Breaking up with Rowan made them separate a little, but good to know that he still liked her enough to use that stupid nickname. “Bully boy.”

Lorcan scoffed. “What have I done to deserve such visit at two in the morning?”

“Where’s Rowan?”

Lorcan tried to contain a smirk. “Why should I tell you?”

“Cause I’m your friend.”

“Nah, not good enough.” He said, letting the smirk appear. Aelin let out a breath, crossing her arms impatiently. “What do you want with him?”

“To talk.”

“You mean scream.”

“To talk.”

“About?”

“Stuff.”

Lorcan’s sarcastic smirk was widening more and more. “What stuff?”

“You’re fucking insufferable. Where’s Rowan?”

Lorcan let out a half cruel laugh. “ Don’t spew fire, baby. He’s in the shop, moping around while you go out with your jock boyfriend.”

Aelin rolled her eyes. “Thanks, could have said that a minute ago.”

“Nah.” Lorcan said, already closing the door. “Fix this mess. Rowan already has a shit mood, and it has only been worse for three months now.”

“You’re one to talk about bad mood.”

“Fuck off, Galathynius.” Lorcan said through the closed door, but Aelin was already rushing down the steps. The mechanic shop was by the end of the street, and she almost ran there.

The storefront was all dark, but the garage door was slightly open, light filtering through the opening. Without further thinking, Aelin crouched, entering through the opened bottom.

“Rowan.” Aelin said, crossing her arms.

Rowan immediately whipped his head around to look at her, eyes narrowing when he noticed her expression. “Why do I feel like you think I did something wrong?”

Despite all the planning, Aelin’s mind was blank. It was the first time she spoke to him in months. “I hate that we dated.”

Rowan let out a laugh, resting against the hood of a car. “You came all the way here, at two in the morning, to tell me that? The dedication is on point, Ace. But shouldn’t you have someone else to talk?”

Oh, he was jealous. Aelin could feel it in his voice. “You’re an idiot.”

“I’m the idiot?” Rowan crossed his arms. “If so, you should really get back to Prince Charming.”

“He’s nice.” Aelin said for some reason. When Rowan raised his eyebrows in mocked interest, she felt her blood boiling. It was because of this fucking asshole she couldn’t date anyone else. “He’s sensible and incredible.”

“Oh, I’m sure he is. All your single friends must be swooning over your relationship.” Although he was smiling, Aelin didn’t think he was finding any of that funny.

“And he calls me when he says he will. My mom thinks he’s nice, and today when he came to pick me up, he even talked to dad about business.”

“Really? I’m sure Rhoe and Evalin adore him.”

“He respects my space and limits, never asks me to wait. I, comfortable and I literally couldn’t ask for anything better.” The last lie tasted bitter on her tongue, but she didn’t take anything back.

“Wow, that sounds... fucking boring.” Rowan said, simply and with a smile. “And I bet anything you want that you’re fucking bored.”

“Fuck off, Rowan.”

“No, you fuck off, Aelin.” Rowan said, getting up. “You break up with me, you move on, you come here. And for fucking what?”

“You seemed very content in me breaking up with you, so don’t play the high moral ground card.” She replied defensively. “You wanna know what I just did, Rowan? I broke up with my amazingly normal boyfriend because of you.”

Rowan raised his eyebrows, letting out a laugh. “Can’t say I’m sorry.”

“Fuck you!”

“The girl I have loved for years just came here to tell me she broke up with her boyfriend because she still likes me. I’m so very sorry if I’m not currently crying.”

“You left.” Aelin screamed, and Rowan’s smile disappeared. She pointed a finger at him, taking a step forward. “You fucking left me after the stupidest fight we ever had. You fucking shrugged as if dating me wasn’t that important and you. Fucking. Left.”

“You broke up with me, Aelin. What the hell was I supposed to do?” Rowan spread his arms, shouting back at her.

“I don’t fucking know, but you could have showed any emotion that didn’t seem like satisfaction. You could have picked up my calls the following day, and the day after that, and the day after that. Could have asked me if I was serious when I shouted something stupid during a stupid argument.” Aelin’s voice was normal again. “And then Chaol comes and you’re right. I’m fucking bored. He opens the door for me, says all the right things and I’m fucking bored. Even when I feel perfectly fine, I’m fucking bored. I’m bored because I’m hung up over a guy who fucking shrugged when I broke a relationship of years. You shrugged, left and ignored me for days. So you don’t get to be happy about all this.”

“Aelin—“

“No. No, I’m talking now because you didn’t let me do it. I loved you so fucking much and you knew it. Loving you was a goddamn roller coaster and you knew I enjoyed it. And that’s the whole point. You knew the way I loved you and you didn’t let me explain. You knew it and you left, and then ignored me. I’m not saying this is your fault. It’s mine. I shouldn’t have screamed that I wanted to break up with you because I fucking didn’t, ok? I was fucking wrong, and we’re apart because of me. All I wanted was the chance to apologize. So now that you’re finally listening to me, you’re gonna let me apologize like it was the following morning.”

Aelin felt her heart beating fast, and when Rowan just stared at her in silence, she continued.

“I am so sorry I broke up with you. Of course I don’t mean it, and you’re acting like an idiot if you think I was for real. An absolute idiot because you should know I love you. You should know that I’d never break up with you over that. I’m so sorry that I even said that. I shouldn’t have, I let my temper get the best of me and shouted the first hurtful thing that came to my mind.” Aelin breathed in and out, trying to make her heart beat normally. “I’m sorry I even made you believe for a second I was for real. I never wanted to hurt you, and even though I hate the way you left, I understand. Please, please, forgive me and let’s go back to our normal.”

“Ace…”

“That was all I wanted to tell you when I called you a million times, Ro.” Aelin felt her throat twisting, the feeling of missing him for months hitting her straight to the chest. She knew she had been the wrong one in the situation, and even though she despised the way he left, Aelin knew Rowan enough to know that it was just a defense mechanism. “I didn’t even need you to accept me back, I just needed you to know that I was sorry and that I loved you. But you left and acted like everything was fine.”

“I’m sorry, Ace, I—“

“Gods, no. I don’t want you to apologize!” Aelin shook her head. Part of her wanted to hear it, the part that had been infuriated when ignored. The other part, however, the bigger part, didn’t want any apology. “I want you to accept the apology. And if you can’t do it, just say it and let me move on with my fucking life. Because if you can’t and this is it, I’ll have to move on with my fucking life. And I won’t bother you anymore.”

The whole room was silent, and Aelin was staring at Rowan as intently as he was staring right back at her. She could feel her heart beating, not fast anymore but so strongly she could hear it. Her palms were sweaty and, despite the fact that she hadn’t looked for Rowan with that intent in mind, she was hoping he’d accept the apology. That they’d talk and go back to being a normal fucking couple. A couple that no one really understood how it worked— Aelin being cheer captain, in the volleyball team, and every single club she’d find while Rowan was one step away from biting someone’s arm off if they talked to him.

“I was hurt.” Rowan started.

“I know.”

“And angry. And I wasn’t thinking.”

Aelin nodded hope and fear mixing inside her chest. “I guessed.”

“For two years I was waiting for the day you decided to break up with him after you realized I just wasn’t it.”

Aelin frowned, confusion clouding her mind. “What?”

“Oh, come on, Ace.” Rowan scoffed. “We both know you can do better.”

Aelin crossed her arms, eye narrowing. “No.”

“That’s a shit response.”

“Why the fuck do you mean by do better? Dating is not a sport or subject, Ro.”

“Don’t play dumb.”

“I mean it, tho. There’s no doing better. I love you and it is what it is. Nowhere to improve, you’re the maximum for me already.”

Rowan stared at her in silence, and Aelin wanted to say something else, wanted to maybe hug him. But he hadn’t said everything was fine, so she didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. She hadn’t been lying, though. She never imagined there could be anyone better for her, Rowan was just… perfect. What she not only wanted, but also needed. He had never been a missing part of her, but always someone who added up to who she already was.

“I’m sorry I didn’t let you explain.” Rowan said quietly.

“I said I didn’t want an apology.”

Rowan nodded, taking a hesitant step forward. “I love you. Have for years, you know that.”

Aelin nodded, face neutral even though she could feel her whole body relaxing. Worry slowly left her veins, relief and happiness substituting it. “And I love you too. Have for years, you know that.”

Rowan walked slowly up to her, hesitating again before raising his hands to cup her face. Aelin almost sighed in relief. “I should have listened to you.”

Aelin nodded, hope washing her whole expression. “So we’re fine? You forgive me, and we’re like before?”

Rowan bushed his thumb against her cheek, a small smile on his lips. “Yeah, we’re fine and there’s nothing to forgive.”

Aelin felt her chest bursting when he said that. She threw her arms around his shoulders, standing on her tiptoes to press her lips against his. Kissing Rowan after months was like coming back home, his warm and soft lips moving against her almost hungrily. Aelin opened her mouth, letting Rowan deepen the kiss as she hugged him more tightly. Rowan’s hands hugged Aelin by her waist, pressing her body against his as his mouth moved gently and yet hurriedly against hers.

Against his mouth, Aelin half sighed, half moaned in sheer happiness.

Tags:

@in-love-with-caramel-macchiato @jlinez @courtofjurdan @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @ladywitchling @lexflame @sleeping-and-books @annejulianneh111 @perseusannabeth @linshryver @mu-si-ca-l @camilamartinezdunne @dank-queen7 @minaidss @starborn-faerie-queen @booksofthemoon @loveofbooksandwine @jesstargaryenqueen @bluejaberry @multifandommessblog @yesdreamblog @superspiritfestival @ireallyshouldsleeprn @woollycat22 @julemmaes @claralady @abookishfreak @faerie-queen-fireheart @maastrash @morganofthewildfire @queen-of-glass @heirofthenightcourt @booksbqueen @heirofthrnightcourt004

193 notes · View notes

flautistsandpeonies · 3 years ago

Text

Reformation Part 3

Read the Previous Chapter [Here]

Word Length: 3,931

Summary: Something needs to be done about this tragedy, but at what cost?

TW: Sexual Assault in this chapter.

“Calling me.....“

“Wei-Xiong, “Nie Huaisang muttered while walking alongside his brother, a saddened look upon his face as he stared at his friend

“I have him, “Nie MingJue replied, one arm encircled around Wei WuXian’s waist to keep him upright, while the other gripped his wrists so he couldn’t fight against his hold

The people of the search party were, for the most part, as quiet as mouses. Walking alongside one another, they could only spare glances at the bewitched cultivator as he continued to chant on and on.

“He’s….calling me…, ”Wei WuXian chanted, jerking against the tight grip on his person

The gates to the Cloud Recesses shimmered and dimmed as the search party was let in by the night-watch. Lesser disciples broke off, deciding to retire to their rooms for the night while the rest continued on towards the Jingshi.

“You’ve returned, “Wen Ruohan, Lan Qiren, and the Jiang parents were waiting for them at the entrance of the residence

“Calling....calling!, “twisting in his hold, Wei WuXian began to violently thrash against Nie Sect Leader

“Wei-Xiong!, “Huaisang gasped, flinching and taking a couple of steps back

“Damn it, “Nie MingJue grunted as he was thrown into a tussle with the bewitched man

Freeing his wrists, Wei WuXian pushed against Nie MingJue’s face, attempting to scratch at his eyes with his nails. Gritting his teeth, MingJue attempted to grapple him again as the enchanted man hissed and twisted against him. Minor sect members of the search party rapidly retrieved talismans from their sleeves but did not pitch them at the snarling duo. Afraid to hurt the leader of a Great Sect, they were stuck in place.

“Enough!, “Mingjue hollered, tackling the man to the group and forcing his arms above his head

“a-Xian!, “Jiang Yanli called wringing her hands at the sight

Untying his sash, Sect Leader Nie’s outer robe fell open as he tied Wei WuXian’s hands behind his back, the man’s screams not hindering him in the slightest. Hoisting him up, he held his fast against his chest. Growling in agitation, Wei WuXian shook his head back and forth, trying to pull himself free once again.

“a-Jie, don’t, “Jiang WanYin tried to reach for his sister but she slipped through his grasp

“a-Xian!, “Yanli ran towards the quarreling men, taking Wei WuXian’s face in her hands, “a-Xian, please stop!”

“Nng, “shaking his head and snarling at her, teeth nearly bit through Yanli’s smooth skin

“a-Jie!, “Sandu’s hilt held tightly in his grip, Jiang Wanyin stomped towards his sister while his mother in the background screamed, “a-Li, get away from him!”

“Away, “taking her arm, Lan WangJi gently pushed her away towards her brother who held her back from approaching once more

“Oh, a-Xian, “wiping tears from her eyes, she watched as WuXian continued to struggle

“Chifeng-zun, follow me, “Lan WangJi uttered while walking towards his residence

“Mm, “MingJue nodded, gripping Wei WuXian’s arms tightly while pushing the struggling man forward

“Aahh!!, “the enchanted man screamed while being forced through the doors of the Jingshi

As the voice slowly faded away, the sects couldn’t help but stare at the open doors of the residence as they made their way back to the Lan Sect’s discussion hall.

“We can’t let this happen again, “Lan XiChen started once everyone settled in and quieted down

“Does he wander off often?, “Sect Leader Yao asked

“For the past couple of weeks he’d rise every night and try and escape the Jingshi, “XiChen explained, “WangJi was normally there to make sure he didn’t leave and often has to restrain him.”

“And he says the same thing? Every night?, “Sect Leader Rong inquired

“That’s right, “Lan Qiren replied while smoothing out his sleeve, “We theorized that whatever attacked him must have a nest hidden away somewhere.”

“But why not devour him already?, “Jin GuangShan pondered, “It can’t have just attacked him for food; it must want something else.”

“It may want his Yang energy, “Lan Yu suggested, “His core is powerful; it may want to siphon his energy from him.”

Many found themselves nodding in agreement with this reasoning. There were many types of dangerous creatures that loved to suck the yang energy from cultivators, perhaps this was one that they haven’t encountered yet?

“But what a terrifying creature, “Jiang Fengmian said, “It’s left no trace whatsoever and seems hell-bent on having him.“

“Why don’t we just follow him to the thing, “Jin ZiXun grumbled, “It’ll be easy if we just let him lead us to it.”

“ZiXun, “Jin GuangShan sighed and shook his head, “It’s not that simple.”

“Isn’t it, uncle, “the man grunted, “Whatever it is wants him, so we just do what it wants until we find it and exterminate it.”

“Night-hunts take at least a day of planning, “GuangShan replied, “Being hasty only makes way for mistakes and unnecessary expenditures, “Besides, what you’re suggesting...”

“You want to use Wei Ying as bait, “eyes turned as Lan WangJi and Nie MingJue walked into the room, the Second Jade’s eyes pierced through Jin ZiXun as he walked to sit beside his uncle

“How is WuXian?, “XiChen asked

“Had to restrain him, left a guard, “WangJi replied with a displeased air around him

“He’ll break through those ropes eventually, “Nie MingJue added walking to sit down beside his brother once more

Many minor sect leaders started to express ideas about what sort of creature they could be facing. “It could be a bat king”, exclaimed a Yao senior disciple. “No, no, a seduction demon, “claimed another. The possibilities of what truly sent Wei WuXian under were endless.

“I’m just saying that we could have this whole situation over and done with, “Jin ZiXun stood and crossed his arms, “We use Wei WuXian’s compass to lure us straight to it while using him a sure guide, easy.”

“Except that puts him in direct contact with the creature, “Lan XiChen disagreed, “Wei WuXian should stay here until we find out more.”

“Are the Lan unwilling to take risks? Didn’t the Second Young Master say that the Lan would make every effort to cure Wei WuXian?, “Jiang WanYin jeered, “How can that be if you’re not even willing to do something as simple as this?”

“We won’t endanger him, unnecessarily, “XiChen said in a curt tone

“We can’t be certain if he won’t try and fight us again, either, “Jiang Fengmian added his input

“We should at least try, father“Jiang WanYin insisted, “Besides, isn’t this our responsibility?”

“What are you saying, a-Cheng, “the Jiang Sect Leader looked to his son

“I’m saying that the Lan Sect has no business interfering with disciples of our sect. This has gone on for too long; we should end this and get back to our own; we have enough problems as it is, “the Jiang heir said in a clipped tone

Standing up from the table, Jiang WanYin looked at everyone in the room with a sharp demeanor and a challenging glint in his eyes.

“The Jiang Sect are going through with Young Master Jin’s plan, “WanYin said with an air of finality, “Since the Lan are too cowardly, we’ll be assuming control of this situation.”

“Jiang WanYin, “Lan WangJi stood tall, “You’ve no right.”

“Second Young Master Lan is all talk and no action, “WanYin ridiculed him,

“Have you truly put any effort into mending this headache?”

“You cannot be trusted with his safety, “WangJi protested with a fiery look in his gaze

“Neither can you! It’s your fault he’s even in a coma!, “WanYin nearly shouted, “This would’ve never happened had he stayed in Yunmeng!”

The two got closer as they disputed; the sect heirs were almost nose to nose, Jiang WanYin a crackling lightning storm while Lan WangJi a quiet blizzard. Many of the people were astounded that the Jiang Sect heir was willing to rile up the Second Jade of Lan and even more were surprised that the Lan heir was even riled.

“Plan a safer hunt, “WangJi glared

“Show some gallantry, “WanYin countered

Jiang WanYin rubbed at his hand, a contemptuous glare adorning his face as he stared down Lan WangJi; fortunately, he was without Zidian. With how the situation was slowly escalating; many people feared the Jiang heir would raise his blade against the Lan.

“Shouldn’t we all be in agreement, then?, “the tension in the room suddenly shattered to pieces as Wen Ruohan’s luke-warm voice filtered through everyone’s ears

Turning to the Wen Sect Leader, the man sat with his legs cross and hands clasped in front of him. His eyes were lidded, a small smile splayed on his face as if watching a performance instead of two sect heirs disputing.

“It’s no question that a hunt is in order. The Lan want to prove that they are capable of taking care of Wei WuXian. And the Jiang need to prove that they are no longer a threat to him, so both sects will be a part of the hunt, “Ruohan mused, eyes shifting as the air seemed to thin and choke everyone else in the room, “Everyone else here is simply support.”

The Lans stared as the Wen Sect leader unclasped his hands and started to tap on the side of his seat, posture set as if he was waiting on a simple missive from a teaching disciple instead of forcing the other sects to make a decision. Nie MingJue glared at the man, slowly seething within at his arrogance. The Jiangs all found themselves glaring, but no words or actions were taken. The minor sects were all sufficiently cowed, everyone silent and afraid to speak.

Wen Ruohan smirked.

“I’ll say again....are we all in agreement?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, Lan and Jiang disciples were shuffling back and forth to hurriedly prepare the night-hunt that night. Back again in the discussion hall, leaders of the sects and Lan Qiren collaborated on who they would be sending in such a short manner of time.

In the Jingshi, Lan XiChen helped his little brother change Wei WuXian into a fresher set of robes.

“You know you could just ask a servant to attend to him, “XiChen raised a brow as he helped removed WuXian’s arms from the old robe’s sleeves

“No need, “WangJi succinctly replied

A fond smile coming over his face, XiChen reached for the nearby basin and ringed out a tower, wiping down Wei WuXian’s face, arms and torso before throwing the dusty rag back into the bowl.

“I’m going to tell him how loving you were when he wakes, “XiChen huffed as he slipped arms through clean silk

Lan WangJi did not reply, seemingly ignoring his brother, but XiChen was immediately delighted to see the tips of his didi’s ears darkening ever so slightly.

“a-Cheng!, “a frightful shout interrupted the brother’s peace

Standing quickly, they moved towards the window of the Jingshi and peered out to see who dared break their rules in broad daylight.

Yu ZiYuan with her arms crossed and a dark look upon her face as she glared up at her son. Her maids, ever-present at her side, sent sharp looks to any disciple frowning at their madam’s direct disregard of their rules.

“What are you doing, playing around! Do you normally idle this much before a night-hunt?! What a lazy son of mine, “Yu ZiYuan scolded her son in the middle of the path

Jiang WanYin scowled as his mother continued to berate him. Letting out a barely noticeable sigh, he nodded along to what she was saying.

“Don’t embarrass YunmengJiang tonight! Heavens already knows the madness we have to endure because of that boy; don’t make it any worse!, “ZiYuan barked while twisting the ring around her finger

The ring crackled slightly while slipping off its master’s slender finger. Landing in Jiang WanYin’s hand, he quickly slipped the ring on; the spiritual tool adjusting to his size and sparkling as it registered its current user.

“Xiongzhang, “Lan WangJi said with a tight-lipped expression, watching as mother and son continued to converse

“I don’t want Jiang WanYin going as much as you do, “XiChen replied, “but if we try to make the Jiangs stay behind, Wen Zongzhu....”

Eyes narrowing and fists clenching at the mention of the Wen Sect Leader, Lan WangJi vowed, “I won’t let him take Wei Ying.”

“Mother, a-Cheng, “the Twin Jades watched as Jiang Yanli slowly walked up the path to her relatives, “Father wants to see you both in the discussion hall.”

Both mother and son were tight-faced as they followed the Jiang heiress back down the path. The Lan brothers looked to one another.

“MingJue-Xiong is coming as support tonight, “XiChen folded an arm behind his back, “We’ll do our best to keep WuXian safe, from this creature....and everyone else.”

...

The night came faster than they would have wanted. The full moon shined down on them, brightening up the quiet paths of the Cloud Recesses as disciples gathered in front of the Jingshi.

“Calling me.....”

Standing on the porch of the Jingshi, the Twin jades of Lan held Wei WuXian tightly by the arms. The enthralled man weakly struggled against their hold, trying to wander off once more.

“I’m still uncomfortable with this, “Lan XiChen said to his uncle

“I am as well, “Lan Qiren brows furrowed deeply as he watched the night-hunting party check their supplies

“He’s....calling me......, “Wei WuXian gave a weak tug at his arms

“Wei Ying, “Lan WangJi said, gently grasping the man’s chin to make him face him

Once again, Lan WangJi stared into glossy pink eyes, the man’s cognition completely gone. What was normally a smiling face held practically no emotion as he continued his endless chant.

“Calling me.....”

Letting out a deep sigh, Lan WangJi pressed his forehead against the other man’s. Take a few calming breaths, he nodded towards his brother who watched on with a solemn smile.

Simultaneously, the Twin Jades let go of the man’s arms; Wei WuXian instantly stepping forward and walking off the porch. Body slouched forward and hair covering his face, he was no different from the walking dead.

“He’s....calling me.....”

“Be careful, “Lan Qiren gave a sharp nod to his nephews

“Thank you, shufu, “XiChen smiled while WangJi nodded

As his nephews and the parties shuffled past, Lan Qiren said in a quiet tone, “I will see what I can do about Jiang Zongzhu and Wen Zongzhu.”

The night watch was waiting for them at the gate, giving the bewitched man a slight head start, they opened the barrier just enough for him to slip through while the hunting party trailed behind.

“Let’s head out!, “Jiang WanYin ordered everyone

Everyone was quiet as they followed Wei WuXian through the mountains. Crossing over creeks and fallen trees, they sometimes had to zoom forward to help the man overcome the obstacles. All the while, he continued as if those things weren’t there, ever determined to reach his destination.

“Calling me.....”

Tensions rose as they once again met at the waterfall. This time, however, they were better prepared and tensely helped the man cross the log bridge despite the tight feeling in their chests ever-worsening with each step across the dangerous basin.

“He’s....calling me.....”

Mountain range after range was crossed, the night sky dimming from midnight blue to the darkest of black. The chirps of nightly creatures continued on, trilling away as the hunting party followed their lure.

“Calling...calling.....”

The many trees soon thinned away in a clearing. Wei WuXian stopped dead in his tracks.

The hunting party was immediately set on edge.

“Ehh, what is he-”

"SCREEEEEAAAAAH!”

The cultivators flinched at the sound, taking out banishment talismans for quick defense. Quickly shielding themselves within the trees, they could only prepare for the coming encounter.

Lan WangJi’s hand immediately went to his sword’s hilt, “The sound that made up separate, “he warned his brother

XiChen nodded in understanding, “Everyone, be careful.”

"SCREEEEEAAAAAH!”

Sleeping birds woke abruptly, fleeing from their trees in fear, the cries of critters and prey animals scurrying away from the approaching creature added to the rising tension of the hunting party.

The wind seemed to shift as if noticing the creature’s arrival; the air grew colder. The sound of wings slicing through the sky reverberated through their ears.

Suddenly, a large being landed roughly on the other side of the clearing upon large stones. It was huddled, but then, its large wings flew out! Its silhouette was in the shape of a gangly man.

With a beastly growl, it stepped forward into the moonlight.

"Huh, “Jin ZiXun gasped in shock and horror

It was a horrible sight to see, a bony, stark white creature covered with leather -like skin. The wings of a bat protruded out of its back, clawed hands and feet digging into the rough bark of the trees. Blood red eyes blazed from behind black sockets; its mouth bared a pair of needle-like fangs.

Wei WuXian smiled at the creature, a pleasant sigh leaving his mouth.

“It’s you, “Wei WuXian murmured trailing forward with an enamored look on his face

Arms and wings spreading wide, the creature grumbled at its prey. Its scarlet eyes narrowed in on the bewitched cultivator as he approached. A few feet away from it, Wei WuXian jumped into its arms, wrapping his arms around the beast.

The Twin Jades hissed at the sight, filled with worry.

“Stay where you are, “Nie MingJue warned as Jiang WanYin and Jin ZiXun raised their blades, “It may kill him if we move too quickly.”

“It’s you, “Wei WuXian said once more, raising his hand towards the creature’s head, his fingers curled in the air beside its bare skull, as if twisting locks of hair

The creature captured Wei WuXian within its arms, followed by its wings attempt to hide the man from view.

"Master, “only due to their enhanced senses were the cultivator’s able to hear Wei WuXian’s amorous words, “I’m here.”

Removing one hand from his person, a clawed hand grasped Wei WuXian’s chin, forcing him to look up, eyes lidded, a dream-like expression and pleasant smile upon his face. The creature gave a low rumble and lowered its head, closing the space between them.

Lan XiChen forced himself to look away, while Jiang WanYin growled in disgust.

‘Wei Ying, ‘Lan WangJi thought, gripping Bichen with enough force to crumble even the densest of stone

Wei WuXian gave a gasp as the creature separated from him, an enamored smile splayed across his lips as he once again wrapped his arms around it.

“Master, “the bewitched man repeated, “I’m here.”

The creature moved Wei WuXian’s head to the side, exposing his neck. A sharp tongue unfurled from the monster’s mouth, trailing up the bewitched man’s neck; and he sighed in content.

The beast growled; the hunting party lifted their blades in preparation.

Suddenly, the monster’s fangs seemed to elongate before thrusting down upon Wei WuXian’s neck!

“Go, go!, “XiChen ordered in a near shout, eyes wide

Dashing from their hiding space, the creature’s eyes widened as glares from as many as twenty swords came its way. Ripping its teeth from Wei WuXian’s neck, blood splashed along the ground.

"SCREEEEEAAAAAH!, “it thundered out towards them, throwing Wei WuXian behind it in one fell swoop

Charging ahead, the creature met Nie MingJue’s saber head-on. Sharp nails grated against the blade’s dark metal. Gritting his teeth, the Nie Sect Leader tried to push forward against it, but the beast held strong.

“Surround it!, “unfurling Zidian, Jiang WanYin barked towards his fellow Jiang disciples

Spreading out, some Jiang disciples took out arrows while the rest got into formation with their swords. Brandishing his whip and Sandu, Jiang WanYin looked for a break in the beast’s defense.

A clawed hand forced Nie MingJue back. Getting in line with Lan XiChen they both charged at the gangly beast as one, purple and light green sword glares lashed out.

The beast wrapped itself in its wings as the glares collided, dust rising up from the grounds as glare after glare pummeled into it.

“Fire!, “Jiang WanYin ordered to the archers

Aiming into the dust cloud, the archers struck true, arrow after arrow flying into the beast. A loud angry roar sounded from the cloud as they wouldn’t let up with the assault.

Rushing past them all, WangJi stormed up to the unconscious Wei WuXian. Ripping the arm off his sleeve, WangJi hurriedly pressed the fabric against WuXian’s bleeding neck.

“Enough!, “Jin ZiXun called an end to the assault with the raise of his hand

The archers halted and XiChen and MingJue lowered their swords ever so slightly. The dust cloud was thick with the smell of blood.

"SCREEEEEAAAAAH!, “Suddenly, the strong flag of its wings, the cloud dissipated and the creature revealed itself once more

“What?, “Jiang WanYin gasped at the creature

The beast was full of arrows and covered in slashes, its leather-like skin punctured all over. Its bare head was covered in gashes from sword glares.

*Thump* *Thump* The beast growled at them a dark a guttural noise. The arrows were falling off of its body as if being pushed out; the beast’s wounds were healing!

“What the hell is that thing!, “a Jin disciple shouted

“Charge!, “Nie MingJue hollered

All raising their swords, they could only face the beast head-on with their blades. It screamed again, claws reaching out to tear them in two.

“Rah!, “Jiang WanYin tried to lash at it with his whip, but it deflected it as easily as it did their swords

“WangJi, go!, “XiChen ordered with a quick glance back, parrying against the beast

Taking the limp man into his arms, Bichen quickly hovered for its master to mount it. Long grasses danced and leaves were ripped from their branches as the Lan Sect heir shot out the clearing.

"SCREEEEEAAAAAH!, “The creature shrieked at the sight of its prey being taken away and attempted to charge after them. Before it could, a pair of light green sword glares stopped it right in its path.

Lan XiChen and Nie MingJue glared the creature down, blades raised high as they prepared for another clash. Circling around the beast, Jiang and Jin Cultivators glared it down, harsh breaths coming out from the long fight before them.

Bearing its teeth at them, the monster’s eyes seemed to grow even redder in its anger as it glared them down. Shuddering, it opened its mouth and roared.

"SCREEEEEAAAAAH!“

With a burst of wind, the creature shot up into the sky, the moonlight shining on its pale body.

“After it!, “Jin ZiXun shouted, about to mount his blade

“No, forget it!, “Nie MingJue hollered, “Get back to the Cloud Recesses, seal everything off in case it tries to come back for Wei WuXian!”

...

“Nnng, “Wei WuXian groaned as golden spiritual energy pulsed throughout his body

“Almost over, “passing over his own spiritual power, Lan WangJi sat in the middle of the array with Wei WuXian huddled in his lap

“Calling....calling, “Wei WuXian started to mumble while flinching at the energy seeping into him

Frowning at the cursed words, WangJi nodded to the other disciples in the room. The sound of Cleansing permeated and echoed against the walls, Lan Qing's long fingers danced along the silver strings of their guqin. The healing array shined brightly in the room, the golden energy a stark contrast to the looming shadows of the night.

On Wei WuXian’s neck, the bite marks slowly closed, a small trickle of blood still seeping out of the holes.

“Hah, “a loud gasp resounded throughout the entire room, sweat dripping from Wei WuXian’s creased brows

“Calling me.....”

Brushing his hair out of his face, WangJi held WuXian’s face as gently as he could. Harsh breathes blew against his hand, and Wei WuXian hissed again.

“Master....”

Ever so slowly, the bite marks were replaced with freshly healed skin; Wei WuXian groaned in agony. Calling out for the monster, he weakly shifted in Lan WangJi’s hold.

With a final flourish of the hand, Lan Qing slowly took their hand away from their guqin and the room soon quieted, the resonating sound of Cleansing abated.

"He’s....calling me.....”

Wiping the sweat from WuXian’s brow, WangJi tried to move him into a move comfortable position as the man weakly pushed against him.

“I’m sorry, “he said to the unconscious man

Holding him tight, he pressed his face deep into the crook of his neck. The sound of WuXian’s chants rumbled from his throat and thumped against his face.

With the wounds closed, the medics stopped distributing their energy into the array. As the light dimmed, the room grew darker and darker until they were all encased in shadows.

“I’m sorry.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author’s Notes:

-Wen Ruohan really just slapped me across the face and said “I’m the tertiary antagonist of this fic.”

Read my Prompts and WIPs [Here]

18 notes · View notes

mldrgrl · 4 years ago

Note

Hello ! I love your fanfictions and i have a prompt for you: Scully discovers Mulder's secret talent. He gives the best back rubs. (ust to rst maybe ?).

Magic Fingers by: mldrgrl Rating: PG-13 to be safe

It was her shoulder, the first time. She’d been hunched uncomfortably over an autopsy table for too long in too cramped conditions - the best a small town without an official medical examiner could offer - and she had paid the price that night that a handful of Tylenol couldn’t cure.

And Mulder wouldn’t stop talking.

He went on and on, arguing not even with her, but with himself, changing his theory as rapidly as he thumbed through the latest photos. She tried to focus her attention on what he was saying, but the pain in her shoulder was too distracting and she was too weary.

As he droned, she reached up with her right hand and squeezed the top of her left shoulder. He didn’t notice her wince or her whimper, which was just as well. She closed her eyes, pressing as deeply into the aching muscle as she could with her fingers. It was somehow both more painful and less painful at the same time. Her brows drew towards one another in concentrated effort and after a few moments, she realized Mulder had finally, blessedly, stopped talking. She opened her eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing,” she answered, lowering her hand and unconsciously rolling her shoulder back. “My shoulder. It’s fine.”

He looked at her with his head tilted, plucking at his bottom lip with his thumb and index fingers. He scooted his chair over closer to hers and slid his pile of photos along with him. He picked up where he left off and he reached up, one-handedly massaging her shoulder as he pointed to different things in the photos he wanted her to see.

She probably should have told him to stop, but she was afraid if she were to open her mouth it would be to weep with relief. His thumb pushed into the back of her shoulder in the exact spot she needed him to and she had to bite her lip to stop from moaning.

With slightly trembling hands, she picked up one of the photos to examine the shape of some burn marks that he was insisting held a pattern that she couldn’t see. Without missing a beat, Mulder stood and shifted his right hand to her right shoulder and his left to her left. He leaned over her chair just a little, speaking down above her head as he continued on with a very firm and thorough massage of her shoulders.

“I, uh…” She blew out a breath and fought against dropping her head forward. “It looks...it looks…Mulder, even if I saw what you did, what does it prove?”

“You’re right.” He abruptly stopped his massage and his hands stilled on her shoulders. He gave her one last squeeze and then gathered the photos.

“Leave them,” she said. “I’ll look them over again in the morning, once I’ve gotten some sleep.”

He nodded and then looked at his watch and cringed. “Sorry, Scully, it’s…”

“It’s okay.” She got up to walk him to the door of her motel room. “Thank you for, um…” She gestured to her shoulder. “It feels a lot better.”

“Anytime.” He grinned and then wiggled his fingers at her. “They don’t call me Magic Fingers Mulder for nothing.”

“Who’s they?”

He shrugged. “People could.”

“Mmhm.”

“Night, Scully.”

“Good night, Mulder.”

****

The second time it was a headache that had been troubling her for the better part of an evening. They were very inconveniently on a stakeout, trapped within the confines of the front seats of their rental car. The headlights of passing cars would occasionally whiz by, the bright light making her flinch and try to surreptitiously sink below the dashboard. It was only when Mulder would press the binoculars to his face that she could discreetly rub her temples or pinch the bridge of her nose for some relief. She’d washed down a few aspirin with tepid coffee over an hour ago and the dull ache remained. She’d also made sure the glove compartment was well-stocked with napkins for any sudden nosebleeds.

“Give me your hand,” Mulder suddenly said.

“My hand?” Without thinking about it, she started to put her hand out to him, but then pulled it back. “Why?”

“I’m bored, thought I’d read your palm.” He put the binoculars down in his lap and turned his head to her and inclined his chin up at her. “I can help with that.”

“Help with what?”

“Your headache. Let me see your hand.”

“I don’t…” She stopped her denial short when she saw his brows go up. Reluctantly, she moved her arm up and held her hand out to him. He folded his arm over hers and held it steady tucked up against his side.

“This is the Hegu,” he said, pressing his thumb into the divot between the base of her thumb and index finger. In the same spot, but on her palm, he pressed with his index finger so that it was like he had her hand in a vice.

Almost immediately, she felt a lightness in her head. The pain hadn’t gone away entirely, but rather she was numb to it. She could still feel the thrum of the headache without actually feeling the ache.

“Tell me if I press too hard,” he said.

“It’s fine,” she murmured.

“Guessing they never covered acupressure in med school?”

“No, they didn’t.”

He moved his thumb in a slow circle, massaging her hand while keeping an eye on the suspect’s windows. Within minutes, she could no longer feel the pain in her head and finally she flexed her fingers and tugged on his grip every so slightly to indicate he could let go.

“Want me to do the other side?” he asked.

She wiped a hand across her brow. “No, I think...it’s gone, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He picked up the binoculars from his lap and put them to his face again. “Say something earlier next time. You don’t have to suffer.”

“Okay,” she replied, with no intention of keeping that promise.

*****

She’d been awake since 4:30 am EST and it was currently 8:42 am PST. That was over 31 hours by her estimation without sleep, on her feet, in the same boots she’d stepped into before heading to Dulles.

She hobbled into her motel room, barely able to muster the energy to remove her leather jacket. She tried to drape it over the chair by the window, but it slipped off the back and she left it on the floor. All she wanted to do was sleep.

Not bothering to turn the bed down, she crawled across the mattress and collapsed onto her back, sprawling diagonally and staring up at the popcorn ceiling. Mulder pushed through the connecting door only moments later, already in fresh jeans and bare-chested.

“I booked the next flight out,” he said. “We leave in twenty minutes.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” she muttered.

He chuckled and sat down by her feet. “Tomorrow morning,” he said, unzipping her right boot. She groaned as he pulled it off her foot. He took her left boot off as well and then pulled his legs up to sit cross-legged with her feet in his lap.

“Oh my god,” she said, when he slid his thumbs up her insteps. Her eyes slipped shut and she sighed.

“That good?”

“Don’t stop.”

“Careful, it’s talk like that that’ll lead to breaking the rules.”

“I don’t care. Don’t stop.”

He worked both feet at the same time for a few minutes and then concentrated on the left with both hands, massaging from heel to toe. She only let a few moans slip out. He moved on to the right foot and she winced when he squeezed the knuckle of her pinkie toe. She was fairly certain she’d developed a blister.

“Hurt?” he asked.

“Blister, I think,” she answered.

“Why do you wear them?”

“Why?”

“Don’t get me wrong, Scully, the heels, the boots, they’re sexy as hell-”

“Careful,” she interrupted. “It’s talk like that that’ll lead to breaking the rules.”

“But, your poor little feet.” He stopped massaging to gently caress the top of her foot.

“They’ll survive.” She wiggled her toes at him to hint that he wasn’t finished.

“I could’ve been doing this for you years ago.”

“It matters more that you’re doing it for me now.”

He stopped and her feet slipped from his lap as he uncrossed his legs. He hovered over her on his hands and knees and then bent down and kissed the corner of her mouth. She opened one eye and then reached up and pinched his chin before he could actually kiss her lips.

“It’s a stupid rule,” he mumbled, turning his head and pursing his lips to kiss her thumb instead.

“I didn’t tell you to stop.”

“No, actually, I think I recall you telling me not to stop.” He crawled back, returned to his cross-legged position, and took her feet back into his lap.

She yawned. “Just let me get a few hours in,” she murmured. “You should get some sleep as well.”

“You sleep. I think I’ll take the rental and head to Lady Footlocker and get you some sneakers.”

*****

How things have changed, she thought, as she knocked on his door. When she’d started feeling faint, feeling nauseated, instead of hiding away she went straight to Mulder. This thing between them was new, still in development, playful and flirtatious and fun. She’d never had to seek comfort or reassurance from him before, but she needed it now.

He brought her in, helped her into his bed and out of her shoes, wrapped his arms around her and whispered lovely things into her ear. The chill she felt left her and she was able to stop trembling. The nausea abated, but she still felt strange and restless.

“What can I do?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” she answered. “I feel achy and tired.”

“The flu?”

“It doesn’t feel like the flu. It doesn’t feel like anything I’ve experienced before.”

He slipped out of the bed and turned off all the lights except for the dim vanity light in the bathroom. He came back with one of the sample-sized bottles of motel lotion and collected all the photos that had scattered across the bed when he laid her down.

“Let’s get you out of these clothes,” he said.

“Agent Mulder,” she murmured. “Are you coming on to me?”

“Only for the last seven years. You just finally noticed a few months ago. Can you sit up?”

She pushed herself up and tiredly brushed the hair out of her face. He opened the buttons on her blouse and she twisted her shoulders this way and that to free her arms. She unhooked her bra on her own and he rolled the comforter back and shoved the pillows aside as she pushed her slacks off her hips.

She laid down on her stomach with her right cheek pressed to the bed. Mulder straddled the backs of her thighs and kept most of his weight on his knees. The lotion he squeezed onto his palms smelled like lemons. Not unpleasant, but not ideal either. The next time he was inspired to give her a massage, she’d try to have something nicer on hand.

He started at the middle of her back and smoothed his slick hands up to her shoulders. She pushed out a small puff of air as she tried to settle and relax. He was quiet as he worked her shoulders and neck. No jokes, no witty remarks. She savored the silence and for once, allowed herself to just enjoy being taken care of.

“You really are good at this,” she murmured.

“I told you once before, they don’t call me Magic Fingers Mulder for nothing.”

“Yet you never told me who ‘they’ were.”

“Anyone who’s been lucky enough to have the magic fingers upon them.”

She smiled with the right side of her mouth and snorted lightly. He braced his hands on the small of her back and then scooted down closer to the backs of her knees. For her, it was at that point when the massage took a turn from gentle and comforting to unbearably erotic. And it wasn’t anything that he purposefully did, it was simply that her brain suddenly seemed to register the fact that her skin and his hands had gotten intimately familiar as of late and she started to anticipate what should come next.

It was hard work to be still when every drag of his fingers down her back and the slow slide of his palms up to the backs of her shoulders made her feel like writhing. Her pelvis ached and her stomach dropped and flipped and heat flooded her veins and made her skin prickle. She could feel sweat forming at her temples and low back from the effort it took not to push her hips up into his hands. Tears gathered behind her closed eyes and clung to her lashes before rolling slowly across her cheek and nose, dripping silently to the bed.

“Scully?” Mulder paused and placed his hand lightly at the back of her neck, thumbing her hair out of the way.

“I love you,” she breathed. “I…”

It took exactly two seconds for Mulder to respond. “I love you too,” he said. He bent down, touched his lips to the back of her shoulder and then continued with the massage. His touch was a bit firmer though, more confident. Saying those words out loud was like its own kind of release. She felt satiated and calm.

At some point, she felt Mulder move off of her and felt the blankets being draped over her. Half-asleep, she let her hand flop blindly across the bed, looking for Mulder.

“I’m here,” he whispered, sliding his hand into hers as he lifted the covers and slid in beside her. He’d stripped to his boxers. Warm flesh against warm flesh. She put her arm over his chest and slid one leg between his. “My little rulebreaker,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head.

*****

She was due in less than two weeks and she felt every bit as pregnant as she looked. She hadn’t seen her feet in a month and she couldn’t last more than twenty minutes without needing a bathroom. She loved it though. She loved feeling the baby kick; finding a little hand or foot or elbow pressed against her abdomen; or the time the baby had the hiccups. It was what she had hoped and prayed for.

What she didn’t love, was the constant ache that had developed in her hips and lower back. She had yet to find a position she could be in, standing, sitting, or laying, that offered any relief. She had asked about it at her last Lamaze class and the answers had been simple: take a warm bath or apply warm compresses, elevate the hips, try massage. She’d tried the bath, tried the compresses, and elevated her hips. None of it worked.

She was having a particularly rough day when Mulder knocked on her door. Things had been so strange between them since his return. She tried to understand his trauma, tried not to push, but she didn’t expect him to shut her out so completely. He had only recently started to express a hint of interest in the baby, but had yet to ask her the questions she knew he must have. He’d attended her last Lamaze class with her a few evenings prior and she had waited through the silence of the car ride home, willing him to say something, but he hadn’t.

“Pizza?” he asked, holding out his offering to her when she answered the door.

“Come in.” She pushed the door open and walked away to let him see himself in. Waddled, is more like it. She dug her fists into the small of her back and headed slowly to the couch. He was lucky she’d already been up, on her way from the bathroom to the kitchen when he knocked, otherwise he’d still be waiting.

Mulder followed closely behind and set the pizza box down on the coffee table. He shed his jacket and then pushed the sleeves of his sweater up as he headed to the kitchen for plates and napkins. He seemed relaxed, almost jovial. He brought the plates and napkins and then disappeared again, returning this time with two glasses of water. She eyed him a little suspiciously as he doled out the pizza.

“What, um...brought this on?” she asked, watching him devour nearly half a slice of pizza in a single bite as she blew the heat off her own slice.

“Thought you might need some sustenance,” he replied around his mouthful.

She stretched her back and sighed. “What I could really use are those magic fingers of yours,” she answered.

Mulder wiped his mouth with a napkin and glanced at her belly and everywhere else but her face. When he finally looked her in the eye he cleared his throat and then looked away, setting his pizza plate onto the coffee table.

“I can do that,” he said. “I’ve actually been...reading about it. There was, uh...a pamphlet at the Lamaze place. I brought it home.”

She waved her hand dismissively. “It’s fine,” she said. “I was joking.” She was actually only half-kidding. She would kill her beloved pizza delivery man for a massage from Mulder.

“You don’t want me to.” The statement was very matter-of-fact and a little forlorn. He turned away and stared at the coffee table.

“I just don’t want you to feel...obligated.”

“When have I ever felt obligated?” He turned his head towards her and glanced down at her belly again. He tapped his fingers together nervously.

“I suppose...never.”

“But, if you don’t want me to, I’ll...it’s fine.”

“I do.” She put the pizza back onto the plate without taking a bite. “I want you to.”

“Okay.” He stood and then sat back down again and leaned forward off the edge of the cushion. “Uh, it says the best way to do it is for you to lay on your side. Should we…?”

“You’ll have to help me up.”

He took her hands and helped pull her from the couch. She puffed her cheeks and expelled a puff of air with the exertion and then twisted the knuckles of her index fingers into her hips after letting go of him. He put the pizza away in the kitchen while she went to the bedroom to lay down. She took her robe off but left her cotton t-shirt and flannel pants on.

Mulder stood in the doorway watching her arrange the pillows - one under her head, one between her knees, one clutched to her chest like a teddy bear. He hovered there until she was in place and then he stepped out of his shoes on his way over to the bed.

“The guides said not a lot of pressure,” he said, one hand hovering over her shoulder. “Long strokes and...if anything hurts or doesn’t feel right, you tell me.”

“I will,” she said.

He finally knelt behind her, but it was still a few more moments before he touched her. She sighed immediately, even the soft pressure of his thumbs above her tailbone was immensely gratifying. She groaned and his hands flew up.

“Too much?” he asked. “Hurts?”

“No, it’s good,” she assured him. “Feels really good.”

“Okay.”

For the first time she could remember, his touch was tentative. He’d never hesitated over her before and she hoped it was only because the health scare she’d had with the baby made him nervous, and not because she made him nervous. He gradually became less timid and her muscles were singing in appreciation.

“I want to confess something,” he said, suddenly, but didn’t stop massaging her.

“Okay.”

“I saw your chart when you were in the hospital. You’re...38 weeks now.”

“Yes.”

“I’m not the best at math, but...when you felt sick, in Oregon, does that mean…?”

She swallowed hard and shifted her eyes to glance back at him. “I found out the night you went missing.”

“Oh.”

There was an extended silence. She counted the slide of Mulder’s hands up and down her back. Fourteen passes and he said nothing more.

“Is there anything else you’d like to know?” she asked.

“I didn’t really know what was happening when I woke up. I thought...I thought years had passed, at first. I thought you had tried the IVF again or had moved on...with someone else.”

“You could’ve asked.”

“You could’ve just told me.”

“I didn’t want to push.”

“I was afraid of what the answer might be.”

She sighed and then he stopped and rested his hand on her hip. She took it, laced their fingers together and brought his arm up and across her waist to rest on top of her stomach. He shifted and laid down behind her.

“I saw something else,” he said.

“What?”

“You’re having a boy.”

“We’re having a boy,” she confirmed.

He pressed his face into the back of her head and breathed deeply. His chest swelled against her back and she pulled him closer until he fit snugly against her.

“When do you think we…?” he asked.

“After you went chasing crop circles in England,” she said. “I think.”

“I remember.” He pulls his fingers free from hers only to rest his whole hand fully on her swollen belly. “Scully, I’m not much of a catch right now - unemployed, recently raised from the dead, terrible cook, and I’ve been known to be a bit of a short-sighted, selfish SOB at times, but all I know is that one day we were in Oregon and we loved each other and suddenly it’s six months later and everything is different, but I still love you and...and I’m pretty good at keeping my fish happy and I tell great jokes and I can promise to give you really good massages every day for the rest of...for as long as you’ll have me. If you’ll have me.”

“Mulder,” she whispered, hugging his arm to her chest and pulling his hand up to kiss his knuckles.

“You don’t have to answer right now or anything.”

“Shut up, Mulder.”

“Okay, but-”

She cut him off by turning her head and pulling him into a kiss. It lasted only a few seconds, but it was enough to end any doubts for either of them. She snuggled back down into his arms and he tightened his hold on her.

“Magic Fingers Mulder strikes again,” he whispered.

She rolled her closed eyes, but smiled.

The End

#i wrote this #xf fanfic #humor #fluff #msr #scully deserves all the massages #Anonymous

190 notes · View notes

writing-imagines · 4 years ago

Text

Truths and Tattoos // An Ellie Williams imagine

Possible warnings: blood, gun use, reader feeling guilty (?)

Request: If your requests are still open can I get Ellie from last of us with a creative and quiet s/o whos covered in tattoos everywhere but her face and palms and Ellie finds out in one way or another that her s/o is also immune to cordyceps? Maybe the reader gets bit and doesn't turn or something??

You leaned against the counter of the abandoned supermarket, your sketch book open, and revealing your newest drawing of what used to be the bakery section. Even though you hated patrol duty with a passion you loved getting to see places and drawing them. Patrol also gave you the freedom to imagine what the world used to be like before everything went to hell.

Of course, you couldn’t enjoy the imagery of people walking around, not worrying about infected, because it always caused an ache to form in your chest. While being immune to the cordyceps was a huge weight off your chest, you couldn’t help but feel guilty. You had been bitten a dozen times and never even developed a fever, but the second someone inhaled spores they would be sentenced to death. It wasn’t fair and your dozens of scars and the tattoos that covered them were a constant reminder of how unfair life was.

You let out a sigh and closed your sketch book, unwilling to let your guilty thoughts interfere with work. You picked your backpack up and slid your sketchbook inside, making sure it wasn’t in a bent position. Once you threw your backpack over your shoulder, you made your way to what used to be the produce section to look for your girlfriend.

“Ellie? Where’d you go?” You called out as you rounded the corner. That section of the store was pretty dark, the only source of light came from a medium size hole in the roof. You couldn’t help but notice the debris and snow on the floor underneath the hole, you could have sworn it wasn’t there on your first sweep of the building.

“Ellie? Come on, where are you?” You called out again as you looked around the room. Normally, you would be freaked out about not being able to find your girlfriend, but you knew Ellie liked to pull pranks on you, especially when it was just the two of you on patrol.

You decided to play along with her possible prank and moved to the middle of the store. The center of the store had to be one of the creepiest places you had ever been to. Unlike the produce section, it was pitch black thanks to there being absolutely no windows. You turned on your shoulder flashlight before making your way past aisles.

“Ellie, come on. I’m getting a little tired of this.” You continued walking, an eerie feeling settling over you with each passing second. As you reached the remains of the frozen section you heard a heart stopping scream and crash. Without hesitation you quickly pulled out your pistol and aimed it in the direction of the crash, your flashlight only revealing a few feet in front of you.

“Who’s there?!” Your mind started to race as you tried to make sense of the situation. Had someone really managed to get in the store and evade you and Ellie? Another scream echoed through the empty store, causing your heart to nearly pound out of your chest. Against your better judgment you slowly started walking down the nearest aisle, trying to listen for the scream again.

When you reached the end of the aisle you pointed your gun around the corner and slowly moved out into the open. Even though your heart was racing you pushed on, fully determined to find out who managed to get past you. The blood curdling scream grew louder and louder the closer you got to the front of the store. Once you reached the remains of the checkout area you found the culprit of the scream and the cause of the crash.

Lying underneath a large metal shelf was a runner. He was desperately clawing at the floor in an attempt to escape. You felt a twinge if sadness at the sight, even though the runner could tear you to shreds. You took a few steps closer, causing the runner to swing his arms at your ankles. Once you saw he was completely stuck under the shelf you lowered your pistol.

“How the hell did you get in here?” You mumbled to yourself. The runner continued to reach for your ankles and let out a grunt. A pain formed in your chest as you continued to look at him. He was a healthy living person at one time and now he was a near mindless monster trapped under a grocery store shelf, completely at your mercy. You didn’t want to kill him, but you also couldn’t go searching for Ellie knowing he could possibly escape. With a shaky breath you aimed at his head.

“Sorry. I hope-" You were swiftly cut off by another loud scream behind you. You turned around just in time to see another runner sprinting towards you. It was only a few steps away, leaving you with no time to react. It knocked you to the ground, causing you to let go of your pistol.

All you could do was throw up your arms and scream. You couldn’t scream any words, just loud animal like howls. You fought hard to keep it’s jagged teeth away from your neck. In the midst of keeping it away from your jugular, your right hand and forearm suffered several deep bites. The runner’s teeth shredded right through your winter coat. Just as the runner bit down on your wrist, several gunshots rang out above your head, causing a loud ringing in your ears. You watched the runner fall off you before closing your eyes in pain. Not only did your arm hurt, but your ears felt like they were going to explode.

You felt two hands grab your shoulders and shake you. You forced yourself to open your eyes again. Much to your relief it was Ellie kneeling beside you and shaking your shoulders. Her lips were moving but you could only hear muffled sounds.

“Ellie.” Your eyes widened and you scrambled to hug her. She wrapped her arms around you, not caring about the uncomfortable position.

“Are you okay?” You were relieved to hear her voice instead of the ringing. Ellie pulled away from the hug and quickly looked you over. It only took a few seconds for her to notice the bite marks that pierced through your tattoos and the blood rolling down your arm.

“No, no, no, no.” She held your wounds in an attempt to stop the bleeding. You looked down to see blood rolling down Ellie’s hands and pooling on the floor.

“Fuck!” Ellie let go of your arm and walked over to the fallen shelf where the runner was trapped. The runner was dead and surrounded by blood. Ellie put her hands behind her head before quickly dropping them to her sides and kicking the metal shelf.

“Ellie.” You said, your voice barely above a whisper. Ellie turned to look at you, tears running down her cheeks. You forced yourself to stand up, trying to ignore the sting of the bites.

“I can’t believe it. I’m so sorry, y/n. I should have been with you.” Ellie attempted to hold back her tears, but failed as they continued to stream down her face. You felt a lump form in your throat as Ellie fully broke down in front of you.

“I don’t want to lose you.” Her voice was shaky as she looked at you, her eyes locked on your wounds. You stepped towards her and cautiously held her hands.

“You’re not going to lose me.”

“Your arm is covered in bite marks.” She whimpered.

“I-I’m immune. I can’t turn.” You looked down at your feet, noting a few blood droplets sat on the toes of your boots. After noticing Ellie stopped crying you looked up to see her confused expressions.

“What?”

“I’m immune. I’ve been bitten a dozen times, walked through millions of spores, and I’m still alive.” Ellie’s jaw dropped a little and her eyes widened. If it would have been any other situation you would have laughed.

“Oh my God.” She looked at all your tattoos, slowly putting the pieces together. You nervously bit your bottom lip, silently hoping your confession wouldn’t change things between you two.

“I should have told you sooner, but this isn’t exactly something I can just drop on someone and hope they can keep it a secret.” Ellie didn’t respond, instead she looked at you with a bewildered expression. After a few seconds of silence you spoke again.

“Please say something...” Ellie allowed herself to blink, somewhat pulling her out of her daze. She looked down at the ground, letting out a sigh before looking at you again.

“I’m immune too.” Now it was your turn to be shocked. You raised your eyebrows at your girlfriend and let go of her hands.

“W-What?”

“I was bitten by an infected when I was fourteen and I didn’t turn.” Ellie frowned and rubbed her tattoo, making you connect the dots in your head.

“Holy shit. We’re both immune.”

“We’re both immune.” She mumbled, holding her tattooed wrist close to her body. You could feel her change in demeanor, but didn’t think much of it. Ellie always acted weird after revealing personal stuff.

“This is great, right? Since we’re both immune that means we could find a cure and-”

“There is no cure.” Ellie mumbled before taking a small step away from you. You frowned at her response.

“How do you know?”

“Because-” Ellie stopped herself to find her words. You watched as she nervously twiddled her fingers.

“Joel brought me to the Fireflies. They did a lot of tests and there’s no cure.” Ellie let out a sigh and glanced at the ground. You frowned, mainly out of disappointment that there was no cure, but also because she had never mentioned Joel taking her to the Fireflies.

“Oh...you never told me that.” You said with a shrug.

“There’s a lot I haven’t told you because of...you know.” Ellie ran her fingers over the raised skin on her wrist.

“There’s some stuff I haven’t told you either.” You shrugged again, this time putting your hands in your coat pockets. Ellie looked up from her wrist and looked you in the eye.

“I guess we have some talking to do then.” Ellie said, the faintest smile tugging at her lips.

“I guess we do.” You couldn’t fight the small smile that crept up once you saw Ellie’s smile.

“Come on, let’s get you patched up and back to Jackson.” Ellie walked over to you and protectively wrapped her arm around your shoulders. You leaned into her side as the two of you made your way back to the horses.

“Hey Ellie?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for saving me.”

“You can thank me later by washing my clothes. These are my favorite jeans and they’re covered in blood.” Ellie smirked and you elbowed her in the side, eliciting an exaggerated groan.

The rest of your journey home in silence. You knew Ellie was probably thinking of how she was going to break the news to Joel that she told someone else she was infected. Joel loved you so it probably wasn’t going to be a big deal. All you could think about was how you weren’t alone in the world anymore and how happy that made you.

#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x gender neutral reader #ellie williams x male reader #the last of us imagine #ellie williams imagine #the last of us #the last of us part ii #the last of us part 2 #the last of us part 2 imagine

259 notes · View notes

mimiwrites2000 · 4 years ago

Text

Legends

Chapter Thirteen ~

AO3 ~~

Pairings: Armin x Annie/ Eren x Mikasa/ Jean x Hitch (other pairings will be added as the story goes on)

Words count: 6966

* spoilers for chapter 127 and up

Summary:

an injury

a miracle

an understanding

and maybe 'everything happens for a reason' holds some truth in it, and all of it leads to that tingle of emotions with unsolvable maze that hypnotize its victims

~a story of broken hearts who are searching for a cure while mending each other’s wounds

The air was salty.

Armin licked his lips, and he tasted salt, as if he kissed the ocean.

Seagulls hunted for generous travelers who tossed bread crumbs, seeking nourishment.

The sun was hot on his skin, coated with a slick layer of sweat. Blonde strands of his bangs sticking to his forehead, he kept brushing them away, but the soft, salty breeze ruffled them back on his face.

It was a hot summer day, hotter than usual. He should probably get inside his rented cabin, but the ocean had him under its spell. Armin held a book in his hands, neglected. His eyes never wavered off the infinite blue laid in front of him, blending with the sky in the middle. The white foam made by the ship matched the fluffy clouds scattered upon the sky.

The ocean enchanted Armin, it did since the very first time he saw it, and every time he sees it, he has all these unexplained sensations trembling in his veins, and he completely loses himself in the vast blue around him, the endless waves, and the sun's reflected rays on them, adorning the blue with glimmering glints of white.

He floated on a canvas with a bucket of blue paint spilled on, and he was that one, marginal dust on it. He couldn’t see the end of the canvas, and he lost the starting point long ago.

The ship broke through the waves, making its way to the safety of the island, and a tingle of excitement tackled Armin’s lips into a smile. He suppressed it, shaking it off.

The rage from two days ago felt so foreign to him at that moment. He almost forgot about the clutched paper in his hand; the reason he was on a ship, on his way to the continent.

Connie, whom Armin left in his house, had promised Armin he would take care of the house. Even though it wasn’t that big, and it’s not like Armin had a backyard filled with plants or a pet to take care of, still, Armin had a strong feeling that when he comes back, he’s gonna be greeted by a heap of charred wood replacing his house.

If anything calmed Armin a bit, it was his certainty that Connie wouldn’t step into his office. Since their training day, Connie had this cold war with books and theoretical subjects, and Armin was sure that his friend wasn’t nostalgic for those days-

“Ha!” Someone screamed from behind Armin, and he jumped in his place, a gasp left his lungs as he turned around to strike whoever the intruder was.

His eyes landed on someone that he was perplexed - to say the least- how coincidence brought them together, on this ship.

“What the hell? Hitch?!” Armin cried out, hating his shaky tone. His heart was beating so fast against his ribcage, it might as well jump out his throat.

Hitch laughed out loud, clapping her palms on her thighs, attracting other travelers’ attention. The flowery-patterned summer dress she was wearing ended right above her knees, her hair pulled away from her face in a bun so messy that seemed it might break at any second. Armin couldn’t help but admire how pretty she was.

He swiveled his gaze back to the ocean he was lost in a minute ago, disappointed at his interrupted moment, but after the shock wore off, he realized that he missed Hitch immensely.

“Oh God,” Hitch choked out between hiccups of ceasing laughter before she dropped beside Armin, “you should’ve seen your face!”

“Ha ha, so funny,” Armin tried to sound annoyed, but the smile on his face seeped into his fakely-bent-up tone.

“What a great coincidence! What’s up, Brainiac?” Then she leaned closer to him, and whispered “can’t risk calling your real name, after all, it’s been three years since you died.”

Armin rolled his eyes at the nickname, conceded to ignore it, but he answered her inquiry anyway: “I was going to ask you the same question, what business do you have here?”

“The ship? Nothing, I don’t work here,” Hitch retorted, spreading her arms on the bench’s back, crossing her legs, and Armin rolled his eyes again, “ok ok, I just have some business on the continent, what about you?”

Armin unconsciously tightened his grip on the paper in his hand, overlooking that this unremarkable gesture didn’t get past Hitch, who immediately snatched the paper from Armin’s hand.

“Hey!” he tried to get it back, but Hitch slapped her palm on his face, stopping him as his hands flailed helplessly, trying to retrieve the letter.

“Oh, well isn’t this interesting.”

“This is really none of your business-”

“Dear Armin…” Hitch started reading out the letter, and Armin groaned.

Dear Armin…

We’re so sorry if we were too much trouble today… we’re just worried for you and want you to be happy…

So we may or may not have asked Hanji for a small favor

Mikasa and Eren, and little Ymir

A small stick figure with two ponytails was drawn at the bottom of the paper, beside Ymir’s name.

“Little Ymir… isn’t that the queen’s kid?”

After a struggle, he released himself from Hitch’s grip. He rolled his neck and crossed his arms, nodding.

“So the queen still trusts her kid with these two morons?”

Armin didn’t answer; however, he did wonder how she knew about that… but considering what Mikasa told him a few days ago, about Hitch and Jean…

“What are they talking about?” she asked, checking the letter’s back.

“Oh…” Armin reached into his pocket, there was no point in hiding it from Hitch anyway…

Hitch read through the formal letter, her eyes scanning over it so quickly Armin thought her eyes would roll to the back of her head.

Her eyes lingered at the bottom of the letter, where the official cof the Survey Corps was.

“This is…”

“Ten official days off from Commander Hanji…”

Hitch gawed at Armin, before she lobbed the paper, giving Armin a second to catch it before it flew with the wind.

Hitch scoffed: “And I thought your dog died or something.”

“I don’t have a dog-”

“And what are you so upset about?”

Armin bit the inside of his lower lip. He trusted Hitch a long time ago, since the old days of spending sleepless nights at a certain cold basement, staring at a bulk of clear crystal, a girl floating in the middle of it…

Armin shook his head. He wanted to lie about the letter, come up with any excuse, but he couldn’t. Maybe the heat affected him, but... he suddenly had a foreign impulse to talk and talk, to let it all out…

“You know I didn’t ask for it…” Armin started, he was hesitant for a moment, but when he glanced at Hitch… she was listening, giving all her attention to him.

He took a deep breath and continued: “I never asked for a break, and they acted on their own, and I hate when they do that and it makes me feel pathetic and I’m so fucking done with them looking down at me like I’m still the weak nine years old kid- ouch!”

Hitch flicked her finger at Armin’s nose, he winced, wishing he could glare her to death.

“Yeah you are so pathetic,” she conceded, not stopping a second before saying it, “you never leave your house, you’re failing at relationships-“

“It was just one fucking relationship-“

“-and you developed a temper.”

“I didn’t.”

“You sure as hell did.”

“Ok so what?” Armin turned to her, frustration flailed his hands in front of his face.

Hitch raised an eyebrow at him, before she clicked her tongue: “You’re hopeless.”

Armin swallowed, he was thinking of any retort, any snarky comment that would throw her off, a remark that will make her as annoyed as he was.

It hit him, and he knew exactly what it was.

He leaned back on the seat, and with as much calmness he could muster, he said: “Well, it looks like you and Jean are much closer than I remember.”

From the side of his eyes, Armin saw the muscles in Hitch’s forearm clinch, the edge of her eyebrow uptick.

Armin fished for another comment: “I never thought he was your type-“

“Oh shut it, don’t mention that fucker’s name.”

If Hitch was trying to throw Armin off with her comment, then she vastly succeeded; it felt as if she kicked him off the deck and into the ocean. He flinched and shook his head, stared, trying to decide whether Hitch was joking or not, but she looked so serious, and Armin found himself speechless.

Guilt surfaced up his throat, because he knew exactly what it was like to be teased about this exact same topic.

“I-I’m sorry, I just thought you and him… you know, maybe you’re right, I’ve probably grown a bit impulsive through these…”

Armin forgot the rest of the sentence when he saw Hitch shaking… with laughter.

She bursted out in cackles and Armin touched his face, checking if he grew a third eye.

“You’re-” she snorted, “unbelievable!”

“I’m so done with you,” Armin got up, taking his suitcase with him. Hitch was dying of laughter as she clinged onto his wrist, splattering pleads for him to stay but half of her words were gibberish through laughter.

“No no no please please wait!”

“I’m so fucking done with you-”

“No no I promise I’ll explain!”

Armin plopped himself back on the bench, suitcase falling beside his jittering feet.

He tried to keep his eyes on a seagull as the hysterically-lost-it-all woman beside him gradually got herself together.

Hitch wiped a tear away as she said: “I knew I have it in me.”

“You’re not explaining yourself.”

“You’ve developed a temper alright,” Armin started to get up again, but she anchored him down with a hand to his shoulder, “no no please listen,” he sat down, but didn’t look at her.

“I’m going to the continent because I’m auditioning for a movie.”

“Uh… a what?” Armin heard that term somewhere before, he couldn’t put his finger on it…

She turned to him and elaborated: “It’s like… a play, but not really, it’s just… a bunch of pictures…” then she stopped, gesturing with her hands, as if the movement would compensate for her non-existent, poor explanation.

“Oh…” Armin remembered what she was talking about, it was these movies that are shown in places called cinemas… motion pictures.

Actors, directors, screenwriters… he read about these in one of his books.

“And… you want to become... an actress?” Armin asked, his eyebrows scrunched together. He would certainly be the happiest for Hitch if she became a big star, but he couldn’t imagine a soldier choosing that path after years of serving in the military….

“Well, after the war, the whole Military Police branch was wiped out. I thought, why not?” She retorted, shrugging her shoulders, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Oh right…” of course the Military Police was terminated in the aftermath of the war. There was simply no point in dividing themselves into three military branches. The same goes for the Garrison. All the soldiers were given the option of transferring to the Survey Corps or retiring…

Armin might be the only one from the original corps still serving in the military, beside Hanji of course… even captain Levi retired and opened a small coffee shop…

“You have that look on your face,” Hitch commented.

Armin raised an eyebrow.

“That look,” Hitch pointed at Armin’s face in circles,”it’s like that… that face you used to make when you stared at Annie.”

“Oh…” Armin went silent.

“It was that look… like, you were just absolutely out of it, like you’re dreaming or I don’t know, but very distracted,” Hitch looked at Armin, the seldom look in his eyes stopped her.

He looked away, pressed his lips, his eyelids fluttering,

“I…” Hitch softly shook her head, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s ok.”

“I know she meant a lot to you.”

“Yeah…”

A beat of silence, seagulls’ cooing puncturing it.

“Do you…” Hitch muttered, “still think of her?”

Armin’s jaw clenched.

A beat of silence.

Hitch clicked her tongue: “and by the way, I wasn’t lying about Jean.”

Armin’s jaw relaxed a bit, glad she changed the subject.

“I can’t stand him, and he can’t stand me, and I don’t even know if what we had is even considered a relationship,” She said casually. Armin didn’t know how to reply; should her offer comfort? because apparently Hitch wasn’t that close to Jean after all, and the break up -if it’s even should be called that- didn’t seem to affect her in the slightest…

Armin gazed back at the ocean. A thin line of land was steadily boldening as the ship cruised towards it. At that moment, Armin wanted to freeze the boat for eternity, to stay in the midst of this vast, bottomless blue.

“I…” Hitch said, and Armin turned his head towards her. He was taken aback by the soft look on her face, she was being genuine, but she didn’t continue her sentence, she merely looked in Armin’s eyes, and he understood everything she didn’t say.

I’m sorry about her.

“It’s fine, it really is fine,” Armin said, a smile on his lips, it didn’t reach his ears.

Hitch’s lips pressed into a thin smile, before her face brightened up, a light bulb flashed above her head, and she suggested: “You know there’s this place that I heard off, it’s some sort of a village, or maybe a small town, anyway, it has some really interesting places, besides, it will be holding a massive celebration for the third anniversary of the end of the war.”

“….and?”

“And? Seriously?” Hitch rolled her eyes, but Armin didn’t fidget. She smacked her lips before continuing: “I can meet you there, in two days, I had other plans, but I can delay those, I can get you a room at the same hotel I’m staying in, we can have fun, yeah?”

After that, Armin found himself standing at the harbor, a small piece of bagel-brown paper in his hand, an address scrabbled on it, as Hitch waved off to him.

At least, he had plans.

~~~

Armin had two days for himself to discover the city he was staying at.

He mooched around the town, his suitcase dragging beside him. Just like the first time he visited Marley with the survey corps a few years ago; the same overwhelming jitters of astonishment rushed through his body. Enthusiasm of unveiling-the-unknown awakened in his heart, pumping quivers in his veins.

The mid-day sun overhead, shedding light on gray-tiled streets meandering between similarly-gray markets, contouring the sides. Puffs of smoke emitting from chimneys, blending together in a whirl of a gray before mounting up, the sunlight filtering through it, softening, adding a touch of haziness to the atmosphere.

In contrast to the gray-dull blocks, people clad in rainbow-palette charades, a flurry of liveliness, carrying singing instruments alongside it, its harmony a blend of melodious laughter, rhythmic chatters, nostalgic uproarious kids’ squeals, and the shopkeepers howling offers.

People spoke different languages. He recognized his own language spoken here and there, but in completely different accents that he didn’t understand parts of it.

One cohesive symphony delicately orchestrated.

Melodies from afar punctuated the coordinated harmony, adjoining another layer of ecstasy. Armin thought that it was his ear putting together all these overwhelmingly-pleasing sounds and making up this melody, but as he snagged his way through the sea of colors, the music source got louder, the notes in sync with Armin’s heartbeat, pulsating in his ears.

His feet led him to the sound, and it was close, so close. Armin broke out of a curtain of people, and-

A guy sat on a carpet woven from the rainbow beams, his fingers strumming strings effortlessly, on an instrument that resembled a guitar, but its neck thin, its body a hollow swelling of light brown wood. He played it like it was second nature to breathing, the notes compatible with the thudding of boots and chatter, merging in congruence. He faded with his surroundings, his gray unfamiliar-clothing matching the jagged bricks of the building behind him, only a few eyes glanced at him or at the colorful carpet beneath him.

When he saw that Armin was staring, he winked at him.

Unexpecting it, Armin backed away, accidentally stepping on someone’s foot.

Armin tumbled but didn’t fall, he stuttered out: “I’m so sorry!”

A man, the man Armin stepped on his foot, was babbling in a language Armin never heard before.

Armin flailed his arms around, trying to apologize somehow, but he stopped; the man smiled, bowed his head, and put his palm on his heart.

Dumbfoundedly, Armin found himself tentatively mimicking the man’s gesture.

After that, the man beckoned Armin to follow him, and started down the street. After a hesitant moment, Armin nodded and walked side by side with the man.

Their walk was interrupted constantly by the man stopping every few steps to greet someone. Armin wondered if everyone knew each other in this town… then it dawned on him that you don’t have to know someone to wish them a good day.

The town itself was a decaying skeleton of bricks and stone, but the souls occupying it blew life into every crevice of it, blooming as those souls grew older, their bond solidifying like bricks within walls.

They jostled their way through the current of colors. With every step they took, a sweet aroma wafted through the air. Armin sniffed, spotting a coffee shop down the street. The man invited him in, offering a hot drink and a weird dessert that Armin had no idea what it was made of, except for the flower petals adorning it.

The man refused any payment, doing the same hand-on-the-heart gesture from earlier.

A few minutes later, Armin resumed roaming with a warm cup in his hand. The burnt-brown mixture was not different from any other coffee, but the smell and the taste had a unique twist to them, accompanied with the flowers-infused dessert; an addicting taste that he could get used to. Armin couldn’t pinpoint the different ingredients, but enjoyed it nonetheless.

Beside the coffee shop stood a thin tall construction with a pointy head, like a pencil. Armin saw exact replicas of it scattered around the town as well; different colors and sizes, but same embellishments. He didn’t know its function; it reminded him of a lighthouse, but it certainly wasn’t; no lighthouse is in the middle of land.

A marginal part of Armin found it hard to admit it, but he felt… happy, or more like relieved. He surprised himself by the sudden feeling of wanting to go out, to see people and walk through crowds, not interacting with them, but merely watching from afar.

He was caging himself in a shell, forbidding himself from this very primitive liberty for so long.

A new yet rudimentary form of freedom.

He regretted treating Mikasa and Eren badly a few days ago. When he first read the letter, he boiled with anger. Ignoring Connie’s shouts, he sprinted out his house, taking the shortest route to Mikasa and Eren’s place, and when he reached it, he barely held himself back from denting the door with knocking.

Eren cracked the door open, and when he saw Armin, he slammed it shut in his face.

That was when Connie stepped in, and after tedious tirades and three cups of coffee, he convinced Armin to take this vacation and ‘enjoy his time’.

Armin bought a postcard and an envelope, intending to write to Eren and Mikasa and apologize to them.

He spent the rest of the day walking through town, taking in as much detail as possible, collecting memories to tell, and when his legs were numb enough to stumble upon, Armin decided to get something to eat.

He sat on a bench at a square, a spacious square with a fountain centering it, kids splashing water, as their parents shopped at the markets surrounding the place. A mouth-watering aroma allured Armin to a traditional restaurant where he got a sandwich with a drink, both have foreign names that were too hard for him to pronounce.

As his muscles relaxed, he realized how tired he was. He didn’t rest after the long boat trip, captivated by the charming spirit of that town, besides, he had been walking for hours with a suitcase as an extra weight. He needed a place to stay for the night.

A small girl with unruly red locks flailing around her face jumped around, her green, flowery dress swirling with every step she took. A stack of newspaper weighing in her hands, obviously a burden.

Armin waved his hand, catching her attention. With a smile on her face, she approached him, handing out a newspaper.

“Thank you,” Armin said, but the girl skewed her head at him in confusion, she probably spoke a different language.

“O-oh, um… thaaaa….nnnkkk….yooouuu…” he repeated it again but slowly, only to realize it wouldn’t make her understand. But then, she pointed at her ears, and it dawned on Armin; she was deaf. He remembered the hand-on-heart gesture from the coffee man before, so Armin bowed his head, and put his hand on his heart. The girl smiled, and did the same. He paid for the newspaper, and the girl trudged back to the middle of the square, holding the newspaper stack tight to her chest, keeping it dry with the kids splashing water around.

Armin opened the newspaper. He sighed when he saw most of it was written in the language he spoke.

The first title made him choke on his sandwich.

As the third anniversary of the war is nearing, the world is wondering, is it really over?

Armin scanned through the rest of the page, his mouth inching wider with every word, a crumb of chewed bread fell out his mouth.

Is it really over? Are all titan shifters actually dead?

Or is it just another trick from the devils of paradise?

The world demands proof that the Eldians are unable to turn into titans anymore, and it won’t rest until the truth is out.

Armin couldn’t believe his eyes, and suddenly, the sandwich in his hand was no longer appealing.

~~~~

The hunting for an affordable inn started. Armin roamed the streets again, instead of keeping his chin up and reading signboards, his gaze was fixated on others; he felt every pair of eyes on him, only watching him, somehow knowing that he was the colossal titan, with one, unremarkable scratch, he could blow this whole city, charring it into dust, as if it never existed before.

Fear shoved the ruthless joyfulness into a far, abandoned corner, cackling. Sweat broke on Armin’s forehead, his heart beating fast in his chest.

For the first time in three years, Armin felt unsafe.

All he knew for the past three years was living for his own self, safely. He was still stuck with the military, and he had troubles sleeping the first few weeks he moved alone into his house, but it was as if he was reborn, turned a new page, and started a brand new life. Even if the whole world declared his death, for him, it was a new beginning.

Armin needed a quiet place, as fast as possible.

He entered the very first inn he laid eyes on.

The inn was in the middle of the town, with an affordable price and clean rooms. Not big but not small. It wasn’t crowded nor was it empty. He booked a room closest to the emergency exit, hastily snatched the key from the concierge's hand, throwing a trembling thank-you over his shoulder as he scuttled as fast as he could up the stairs, reaching his room, checking the number engraved on the key twice, before going in and locking the door.

He flopped his suitcase on the bed, closed the curtains, then double checked that the door was locked.

Stepping into the bathtub, he stayed under the warm spray of the shower longer than needed, all the while checking behind the curtains.

He snuck under the blankets, unexpectedly cold after the warm shower, slept with one eye open, as light gradually faded behind the curtains, denoting the end of his first day of this unforeseen vacation.

The last thing he thought of before drifting into an uneasy sleep- was buying a ticket back to the island, first thing in the morning.

~~~

Light crept into the room as the sun rose up in the sky. Armin didn’t see it, he was under his blankets, speculating the closed curtains, his heart thudding loudly in his ear.

His ears perked up for any sound.

His throat was dry as a desert.

His water bottle was across the room.

Armin observed it, unmoving. He closed his eyes for a long second, hoping that when he opens them, the water bottle would be right in front of his face.

But it didn’t move an inch.

He should get going, get up, gather his stuff, and leave.

This is ridiculous, Connie himself would be ashamed.

He got up, a shiver went up his spine the moment his toes touched the carpeted floor. Even though he was aware he was being an idiot, he couldn’t shake off this paranoia. Tiptoeing to the water bottle, he reached to it, his mouth getting dryer, his fingers were an inch away from it-

KNOCK KNOCK!!!

Armin hit the water bottle, knocking it off, water spilling on the floor, splashing the curtain.

Freeze.

He didn’t dare move a limb.

His brain went through every possibility of who could be at the door. Angry people with torches and swords? Maybe men in black with guns in their hands? Or it was the government on a mission to arrest him? Or-

KNOCK KNOCK!!!

Armin flinched. He took a deep breath, and approached the door with inaudible steps, as light as he could. It felt like ages before he reached the door. He spied through the peephole, it was blurred with dust, but it was enough to see a figure of someone standing there.

A woman.

A blonde woman.

No way no way no way-

Short

Petite

Armin leaned against the door, squinting, trying to decipher her features, his heart involuntary beating faster in his chest-

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!!!

Armin fell back, tumbling on his ass, a grunt escaped his mouth. He slammed his palm on his mouth, the pain from the fall momentarily vanishing, but it was too late.

“Alright if someone is in there, for God’s sake just answer the fucking door, I got other businesses to do!” a gruff voice called from the other side of the door, impatient, their tapping foot could be heard from down the hall.

That’s not… her...

“Y-yes?” Armin squeaked out.

“Towels? This is room’s services, do you need extra towels?”

What? Room service? I didn’t ask for-

“Just answer the goddamn question-”

“N-no!” Armin half shouted, trembling, “th-thanks I don’t need t-towels please.”

“You got a letter,” the gruff woman added.

A letter? Wha-

“Hello?! Can you stay with me for one fucking minute-”

“I’m sorry!” He blurted out, “f-from whom?”

“Do I look like I would know?” A very loud sigh, “are you even gonna open the goddamn door? Actually nevermind-”

Armin heard rustling, before the tip of white paper sneaked under the door.

“Next time answer the door faster, just wasting my Goddamn time, as if I had any more time to waste…” the complaints faded down the hallway.

Armin layed on the floor for extra few minutes, energy drained out of him.

Another letter.

Armin feared what could be in it.

He slit open the top of the envelope with trembling fingers, shook it, a small piece of wrinkled brown paper fell out.

He held it so close to his eyes, rereading the few lines over and over again.

Ayyooo Armin!

I hope you enjoyed your free time!

Just a reminder about our meeting tomorrow, oh and I already got you a train ticket and a room in that hotel

See ya there!

Hitccchhh~

He didn’t leave his room for the rest of the day. Plans of leaving to the island seemed way far off reach.

~~~

At night, Armin took the train to the town Hitch told him about. Keeping his eyes down, his movement unnoticeable, dissolving within the train’s car.

It was barely dawn when he arrived, the sky a dark blue, the moon absent.

It was one of those nights where you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face; the surroundings plunged into darkness. The only available light coming from fluorescent street bulbs with vague halos, fireflies zipping around them. He barely got himself to the hotel Hitch told him about, the process of checking in all but blurry. Paranoia substituted by exhaustion. He flopped on the bed, only able to kick off his shoes before he drifted into an uneasy sleep.

He woke up at noon.

Sweaty, hot, tangled in the sheets, the sun glaring through the window.

Sleeping at dawn and waking up at noon was one of the things Armin avoided for the past three years; he was an early bird who liked mornings. When he woke up with the sun scorching in the middle of the sky, it was as if he fell off a cliff and all his bones were broken, muscles from head to toe aching.

Of course, the morning buffet the hotel provided had long ended, (now that he was aware of it, the hotel Hitch recommended was rather nice… pricey as well, he noted to talk about this with her, he couldn’t let her pay for it). Armin could no longer ignore his stomach walls clamping on each other, so, with caution, all his senses fully activated, he left his room, making sure to hide all his personal stuff underneath the mattress and behind the closet.

Only then did he have a chance to look around the town.

Frighteningly astonishing, it looked as a bucket of rainbow splashed on it. The silent buildings decided to grow non identically; each one sprouted from its roots in fortuitous angles, frozen mid dance on inaudible tunes.

A canvas of a bored artist and a brush, spontaneously drawing strokes wherever and however. And what was a mere boredom act had become a masterpiece others marvel at.

It was quiet for such a colorful city, even though people zipped up and down the streets, but for Armin’s eyes that were still adjusting to the light, it was all but a blurry gray-scaled lines.

After his vision cleared… he found out it wasn’t much different than when they were blurry.

People clothed in three colors… black, white, and gray. Striped, dotted, and squared. Their faces wore similar schemes; stoic, prosaic, blank. All busy and in a hurry, scurrying down the streets, everyone going on with their day, not glancing at one another.

Armin, with his blue shirt and brown pants, felt so out of the place.

Any sort of the modern technology Armin saw when he first visited the continent- were nowhere to be seen; there was not a single car on the streets, only black bicycles that passed by him like wind. The zig-zagging chimneys sprouting from houses didn’t blow gray toxics into the air, and the air tasted different; clean and refreshing.

However, the fresh air didn’t seem to affect the people at all, either they were too used to it, or simply didn’t care.

Armin swallowed, thinking why on earth did Hitch recommend this city. Yes the place was nice, cheerful and pulsating with life, but its people were as emotionless as an unremarkable stone on the sideroad.

It wasn’t about the fanciness of a place, its color or its shapes, it never was and never will be.

it was all about the people.

They either spread life in town, or rob it from it.

Armin tried to not make eye contact with anyone, and not because of his dilemma of being exposed, but because everyone seemed intolerable to a delaying-glance.

He permitted himself to stroll the streets and discard his situation on the shelf for a while.

After all, it was ridiculous.

Utterly ridiculous.

He took a turn right, a turn left, walked for some time, went through alleys and squares… it was too late until he realized he could no longer go back to the hotel.

He was lost and had no idea where he was, internally freaking out.

Do not panic don't panic do not panic

If his frantic thoughts showed on his face, he’d probably be an easy prey and get blindly robbed. He must stay sharp and focused.

Time passed, and Armin decided that he wouldnt find his way back if he didn’t move, and soon enough, he found himself walking through a traditional market rounding a vast square, traders wearing hints of color, intruding the greyness of the town-people, Armin realized that this market was attended by foreigners.

In the middle of the square, a small stage was being set up, almost finished. From people’s questioning stares and glances, Armin concluded that it was as foregin to them as it was to him.

But after fleeting looks, people would resume their life, running errands, their kids killing time waiting for their parents; playing and hopping around.

Armin forgot his hunger and that he was lost for a second, watching the kids.

Much like his younger days, with Mikasa and Eren in Shiganshina...

The atmosphere ignited nostalgia’s candle under Armin’s nose. He sighed, wishing that he invited his friends with him, maybe having company wouldn’t have gotten him in the mess he meddled in, why didn’t I even think about that?

Armin’s stomach grumbled in response, reminding him that he didn’t eat anything since… the day before...

The side market-stands with fresh fruits watered his mouth. He swallowed, approaching a stand where shiny apples were snatching glances from everyone at the market.

Armin picked two apples, one red and one green -he didn’t have a personal preference- and any food on an empty stomach is worth a fancy meal at the monarchy’s feasts.

Horns echoed.

Every head in the square swiveled to the center, where the stage was completely set up, a middle aged man standing on it, his chin up, beside him a younger man, a younger replica of him. Four musicians, carrying small horns that were a shame for real horns, standing behind him.

Classy

“Attention, people of this town,” the old man with a round belly announced, hushed murmurs transpired, and Armin heard admirable words like it’s the Mayor! Or how humble he is!, which made Armin raise a confused eyebrow.

Everyone went quiet, and as if on cue, the Mayor continued: “As words had been going around, we’re holding one of the biggest festivals here, in memory of ending the big war. Three years ago, when the world saw peace again!”

Claps erupted, Armin grimaced at the Mayor’s meek wording.

The mayor’s chest inflated with pride (or ego?), the buttons on his gray-striped shirt threatening to pop off. He raised his hand, and the crowd, once again, fell into homage silence.

“And as I promise you, my dear people,” few people sighed, “I’ll make it worthy for your praise and admiration. People from all over the world are going to visit us, and from my place here, I ask you for generosity and hospitality, and to take advantage of this trade investment! It’s a great opportunity for your markets to flourish!”

The crowd clapped again. The Mayor half bowed, before he descended the stage, his younger look-alike following him.

Comments, squeals, and whispers spread rapidly, and the square was as alive as it was before the pause.

“Young man?”

Armin turned to the seller, he almost forgot where he left. He reached into his pockets, but stopped when the seller whispered to him, his accent heavy but understandable: “Did you see what he did? He’s using the people, his people for money!”

Armin’s mouth opened and closed several times, taken aback, before he asked: “What do you mean? Isn’t this for their own good?”

“What? No young man, no. I take it you’re not from here?”

Armin shook his head.

“Well let me tell you something,” the seller leaned closer to Armin, his voice dropping to lower than a whisper, “that man owns this market, he takes 50% percent of the profit, from every single one of us!”

“...what?”

“Exactly!” the seller looked right and left, making sure no one was eavesdropping on them, “half of my hard work goes right into his pockets!”

Armin scrunched his nose; he had a bad feeling about the Mayor the moment he saw him. Armin didn’t know why the seller was telling him this… maybe he just wanted to let it out…

“His son looks no better than him… I’m sorry young man, I shalln’t hold you up any longer.”

Armin nodded with an apologetic smile, handing several coins for the seller, he turned around and-

He pumped into someone, and a paper bag full of groceries was dropped out on the ground, the two apples slipping from his hands and falling into the mix.

“I’m so sorry! I-I apologize!,” Armin knelt and started picking the goods and putting them back into the bag.

Armin wasn’t bothered that he picked up all the groceries by himself, their owners not doing anything; it was his fault after all.

When he was done, he stood up, glancing at the two apples which were no longer edible; one split in half and facing downwards, the other had a huge soft brown circle on it, contradicting how appetizing they looked just ten seconds ago.

“There you-” Armin’s voice stopped in his throat.

His eyes met a pair of familiar icy blue eyes, wide open, boring into his own.

“Annie…” Armin whispered, his eyes widening.

It was her, blonde hair in a bun, blue eyes- it was her.

No doubt.

Annie...

There is no way this is actually happening; she can’t just vanish for years then pop out of nowhere like this.

That wasn’t fair, it was ridiculous, the world had a plan, and Armin was a toy controlled by someone else, snickering at him as Armin couldn’t catch his breath, couldn’t believe his eyes.

He spent three years trying to forget her, they can’t go through this again-

She yanked the paper bag from Armin’s hands, pulled a gray cape over her head and walked away.

Armin froze for a moment, but when he saw her figure fading into the crowd, he darted behind her.

“Annie! Annie, wait! Please wait!” Armin called, as he pushed through people, whose sudden purpose was hindering Armin from getting to Annie. He accidently pushed a guy who happened to be holding a basket filled with eggs to the rim. The guy staggered, squelching half of them on the ground.

“Hey! Watch out!” The man complained, but Armin didn’t acknowledge him in the slightest.

She didn’t slow down, she maintained her fast pace, ignoring Armin’s calls, pulling the cape further down her face when people started giving them suspicious glances.

“Annie! Please!”

More eyes looked at them.

Armin barely kept up with Annie, trying so hard to not lose sight of her. Until they reached an intersection, people double the number, bicycles zipping past Armin-

She turned right.

Armin sprinted, crashing into bodies, people throwing profanities at him. He turned right and-

She was gone.

She vanished.

Armin halted in his tracks, his breathing erratic, staring at the last spot he saw Annie at.

Was that… was that a facade?

A hand clapped on Armin’s shoulder, he jumped, only to see that the hand belonged to a man.

An angry man, with a basket of half cracked eggs.

The man was shouting, complaining, cursing. But Armin didn’t hear him; his ears ringing, his mouth dry, and his sight swaying.

A few blocks away, a blonde carrying groceries bag was hastily leaving the scene, covering her head, not turning around to check if he was behind her.

Ignoring the awkward glances from passbyres, she kept going until she was out of the center of the town, where houses scattered over vast land, and it was more peaceful than the market, less crowded, less people.

She walked to a small, humble house, took out keys and unlocked the door. Discarding the bag in the kitchen. She beelined to her room, closed the door behind her.

She looked around the room, searching for anything to break, to smash, anything to let out her anger on, anything.

When she decided she mustn’t leave a trace of her rage, she sat on the ground, leaning against the door, and bit down hard on hand. Closing her jaw as hard as she can on flesh, until she tasted her own blood.

Sharp pain shot from her hand, she let it go with a hiss, watching blood dripping on the ground.

She watched her wound.

A labored, shaky sigh left her mouth, she rested her head against the wooden door as she eyeballed steam emitting from her wound, flesh forming and healing, accompanied with a murmur of a hiss.

“Are you done? Did you let it all out? Or you wanna bite your other hand?”

She looked up, a girl sitting on her bed, legs crossed, a smirk blasted on her face.

“What… what have you done, Hitch?”

AAAAAAAAAHHH Oh my GOD I didn’t update Legends in so long I’m so excited to finally post this dkgdlsajgkds Thanks for everyone who tolerated this story not being updated for some time, thanks for sticking around, I really appreciate it I know I haven’t been updating as much as I used to, I’m gonna graduate soon, so I’m a bit busy with university right now The thing is, I’m too attached to this story, and only recently I realized this. I started writing this story in April 2020, it was the beginning of lockdown and all the crazy shit we’re going through right now. It was my own escape, and I enjoyed writing every single word of it I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ll never abandon this story, because it became a part of me that I can’t live without So thank you guys for coming along this journey, I appreciate it. ALSO SORRY FOR ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER I’M SO SORRY OH MY GOD Ok that’s all, feedback is always appreciated, here on tumblr or ao3 (or twitter uwu) OK THANKS AGAIN YOU GUYS I LOVE YOU MWAAAHH

#Aruani #Armin Arlert #annie leonhart #armin x annie #eremika #Eren Jaeger #Mikasa Ackerman #eren x mikasa #aot #snk #fanfiction #attack on titan fanfiction #aot fanfiction

29 notes · View notes

i-turned-the-emperor-to-dust · 4 years ago

Text

Miraculous Fanfiction

It Started With a Kiss [AO3 Link] (Based loosely on the Korean Webdrama: Who Kissed Me?)

After drinking too much at a collége reunion, Marinette recalls kissing someone after the party but can't remember who. Enter one flirty, ridiculous cat who's hell-bent on helping her remember!

(Yaay, finally finished my first Fanfic in the Miraculous fandom! I’m so proud of my muse - finally cooperating for once 🥳)

— — —

The memory itself was vivid, even if the details themselves were a bit fuzzy. But Marinette knew this much: the lips had been soft against her own, the pace slow and languid, and they certainly knew how to use their tongue, how to apply just the right amount of pressure as their hand tangled in her hair, greedily pulling her closer.

A perfect kiss.

Well, nearly perfect. Marinette still couldn’t remember just who those lips belonged to.

“I swear, girl. Only you would experience the most memorable, mind-blowing make-out session of your life, and not even remember who the lucky guy is!”

As Alya gave her another comforting pat on the back, Marinette nodded morosely, emotionally spent from the memory alone. “It’s not fair. I’m cursed, Alya,” she despaired, arms dangling dramatically over the side of her chaise longue as she wallowed in self-misery.

“You got that right,” replied her helpful, supportive friend.

“Are you sure you don’t remember who I left with?” She asked again, desperately hoping her friend hadn’t suffered a mental-blackout like she had and would have the answer ready to unwrap like a present.

“Sorry, girl. Like I said, I left early with Nino. Trust me, if I knew you were going to drink too much and have a sexy tongue-soiree after a self-imposed drought, I would’ve stuck around to film it for posterity.”

“Gee, thanks,” Marinette groaned, cursing the unfairness of it all. Apparently, all her Ladybug luck was on reserve for when she actually needed it to defeat akumas.

“Don’t worry, we’ll figure this out,” her best friend assured her, a determined glint entering her eye as the seasoned journalist took over. Nothing got her blood pumping like a mystery to solve. Climbing to her feet, Alya walked over to her rolled-up poster board and yanked down a nice clean page, then grabbed a marker and prepared to write. “Alright then, first we need to go over the list of suspects, starting with every single person that was at that party last night.”

“All of them? There were a lot of people, Alya.”

“Not that many, really. It was just our collége reunion, so let’s start with the people that actually showed. Let’s see,” she hummed, thinking back to last night. “Adrien was there with Kagami, as usual. And Luka, Juleka, and Rose all came together. Max and Alix were with Ondine and Kim, and Mylene and Ivan arrived a little later.”

“Nathaniel and Marc came too,” Marinette added, even though she thought this brainstorming session was kind of silly. She couldn’t imagine sharing a kiss with any of their old classmates. It was more likely she’d left the party alone and ran into some handsome stranger along the Seine.

“Right,” Alya nodded, adding the final names to the list. “Alright then, all done.”

“Really?” Marinette teased, glancing meaningfully at the poster-board. “You’re sure you’re not forgetting anyone? No one else comes to mind?” As Alya continued to stare at her blankly, Marinette giggled and added sweetly, “An adorable, newly engaged couple, perhaps?”

Realization dawned, and Alya chuckled as she rolled her eyes. “Alright, fine, me and Nino were there too, though I think it’s safe to say the only lips we were rocking last night were each other’s.” But even so, she dutifully added both names to the list, as meticulous as ever. “Now that should be everyone.”

With the list more or less complete, Marinette took a step closer to examine their handiwork. She supposed she should be grateful that Chloe, Lila, and Sabrina weren’t on the list. At least she’d have one less nightmare to contend with; if it had been any of them, she’d rather cut out her tongue and live in denial forever.

“See? We already have a pretty great suspect pool,” Alya enthused, encouraged. “So, where should we start?”

“Well, you can definitely cross off Adrien,” Marinette said morosely, though saying the words didn’t hurt nearly as much as they used to. Ever since she’d accidentally discovered he was Chat Noir, she’d found herself even further relegated to the friend zone. But since she couldn’t tell her friend that, she said instead, “He left with Kagami shortly after you and Nino.”

“Damn, girl, you sure know how to ruin my fun,” she complained and made a big show of crossing out his name—a single line wouldn’t do, oh no, he got the royal treatment. There were now four dark strikes through his name, and beside it, a face with its tongue sticking out.

Thankfully, Kagami was saved from a similar treatment. Before her friend could put a mark across the other girl’s name, Alya’s phone rang, and glancing down at the caller, the journalism intern nearly jumped two feet in the air. “Oh shoot, I have to take this,” she said as she picked up the phone and wandered clear across the room, leaving Marinette to continue thinking in peace.

But thinking was hard.

Her head continued to pound thanks to the hangover she was still fighting, a fact she knew Tikki wouldn’t let her forget anytime soon. It certainly explained why she was having so much trouble remembering any more details about the kiss. Her mother’s homemade tonic may have helped, but there was still no better cure than staying sober.

If only she could remember something, their hair or eye color, their build and height—any hint would be useful—or better yet, if Tikki would stop being stubborn and just tell her already, then the mystery would be solved and she could finally stop driving herself crazy!

And judging by the way Alya was jumping up and down in the corner, she had a sneaking suspicion her best friend wouldn’t be any more help.

Unsurprisingly, Alya hung up her phone moments later and hurried back, her hands steepled in apology. “I’m so sorry, Marinette. I know I said we’d hang until you had to leave for Kagami’s, but I just got dibs to assist on a super-exclusive interview, so tell you what—you go over our list and eliminate anyone you can, alright? And if you run into a dead-end, just start calling some of our classmates and see what they remember. I’ll call you later tonight and we’ll go over all the evidence. Hopefully by then, you’ll have gotten your answer or remembered something. How does that sound?”

“Good, I guess,” she replied, though she doubted she’d get very far.

“Great!” Grabbing her bag, the-tornado-known-as-Alya gave her a quick hug and a wave, and then disappeared through the hatch, leaving her alone with her silly suspect pool. By the time she spoke to Alya later, she had a feeling there wouldn’t be a name left on that board that didn’t have a line through it.

“You know, if you had been responsible last night instead of drinking to excess, you wouldn’t be having this problem,” Tikki chastised as she came out of hiding. It was a wonderful reminder of why she hadn’t wanted to be alone today. She loved her kwami dearly, but having to be reprimanded while nursing a hangover wasn’t exactly her definition of fun. “You’re just lucky there wasn’t an akuma last night, Marinette. Or anyone nearby to overhear you.”

“I know, Tikki. I’m sorry.”

And really, she was. It had been irresponsible and thoughtless of her. Not to mention, if Hawkmoth had attacked, Adrien would’ve been forced to fight him all alone since she would’ve been more than useless. At the time, though, she hadn’t been thinking about Hawkmoth, about Paris, about anything, really.

After watching her “friend” laugh and joke with Kagami all night, just once, she hadn’t wanted to be responsible. Just once, she hadn’t wanted to think at all. She might have resigned herself to never being with Adrien, but knowing he didn’t see her civilian self the same way he saw Ladybug, didn’t make the reality hurt any less.

So instead, she was left with the haunting memory of a kiss she couldn’t forget and a well-meaning kwami who was too noble to give her an easy way out of her misery.

Resigned, she asked: “You’re still not going to tell me who I kissed, are you, Tikki?”

“Sorry, but no,” Tikki replied as she took another bite of her cookie, and Marinette had the distinct impression she was being judged.

Despondent, she sagged against her seat, desperately wishing Alya were still here. At the very least, she could use a distraction.

. . .And when she heard a familiar thump come from somewhere above, a distraction was exactly what she got.

— — —

Chat paced across Marinette’s balcony, silently trying to pump himself up.

It was all good, it was fine. THEY were fine. It was just a kiss, nothing to get nervous and bent out of shape about. She wouldn’t be mad at him. She’d be happy, thrilled even! And when she hugged him, which she totally would, he’d convince her they were meant to be together, that this was destiny, and there was no way he was going to let Hawkmoth destroy what they had.

He had his speech memorized. His arsenal locked and loaded; hopefully, the flowers wouldn’t be overkill. And Plagg had been adequately threatened to keep quiet.

Now all he had to do was make himself move.

Staring at the trapdoor, Chat took one tiny step forward, then another, knowing his future was just within reach…

And then collapsed, his hands in his hair, the panic rising.

What if she hated him now? What if she insisted he took advantage of her and never wanted to see him again? What if she decided to take their hypothetical hamster, the very one they’d discussed in length just last week, and raise it on her own? What then?

Luckily, he didn’t have to fret for long. Without warning, Marinette’s skylight was flung open, and her beautiful face peeked through. With cat-like reflexes, Chat quickly skidded away, surprised to see her there so suddenly.

“Chat?” she asked, a tinge of exasperation in her voice, though to him, it might as well have been music. “I thought I heard you up here. Why didn’t you come in the front door?”

Chat grimaced. He couldn’t exactly explain that it was safer this way, that despite his promise, Plagg would definitely use this opportunity to torment him. So he simply shrugged and tried not to look too guilty as he slowly crawled closer. “Sorry, I just wanted to surprise you. Surprise,” he finished lamely as he greeted her with a tiny wave. Noticing he was waving the same hand holding her flowers, he blushed in embarrassment as petals rained across her balcony. He quickly hid them behind his back.

A forced, awkward smile settled across his face.

“You’re ridiculous,” she said as she rolled her eyes fondly, teasing. “Come inside, you silly cat. Unless you’ve got more grooming to do for a photo shoot." With a chuckle, she disappeared back inside her room. Encouraged by the fact that she hadn’t refused to see him, that she seemed happy, even, Chat followed after. A couple quick jumps later, he found himself standing in the middle of Marinette’s room.

“I like what you’ve done with the place,” he told her with a grin, even though he’d just been here as Adrien a few days ago, and it hadn’t changed one bit.

Marinette chuckled. “Thanks, it took a lot of work.”

Well, that cinched it. He loved her. Only Marinette would go along with his lame jokes and silly puns and not even bat an eye.

He had meant it, though—he loved her room. It was cozy and comfortable, warm, and lived-in. The complete opposite of his own. Despite being eighteen now, it hadn’t changed that much from when they were young. The walls were still her favorite color, in varying shades of pink, and she had all the same trinkets and furniture that had hardly aged a day. The only thing that had changed were the pictures she used to have of him all over her walls. At some point, they’d been replaced with photographs of all their friends and inspiring fashion pieces she’d come across in magazines.

He wasn’t sure when that had changed or even why, but it was one of the reasons he was so nervous. He knew she had liked him once, and if their conversation last night could be believed, she still did. But today, in broad daylight, without the help of wine, would she still feel the same?

“So, what brings you by?” Marinette asked curiously as Chat lovingly placed her flowers on her desk. “I thought we were going to meet at Kagami’s in a couple hours.”

Chat shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. “I had some time to kill, and thought I’d spend it visiting my favorite purrincess.”

“Oh? And since she wasn’t home, you came to see me?” She put a hand to her forehead and pretended to swoon. “My, my. I’m flattered, monsieur super-hero.”

Seeing an opening, he took her outstretched hand and placed a quick kiss there, his eyes searing into hers, absolutely relishing in the way she blushed. “Not as flattered as I am,” he told her, the words “my Lady” on the tip of his tongue but held back by sheer will alone.

Now wasn’t the time.

“So, did you have fun?” he asked, reluctantly releasing her hand. “At the party, I mean.”

He watched her closely for her reaction, looking for the slightest sign she was unhappy or upset or disappointed somehow. She hadn’t brought it up herself—maybe she wanted to pretend it didn’t happen, or worse, maybe she didn’t like it. Was she preparing to let him down gently AGAIN?

Marinette, unaware of his catastrophizing, shrugged as she walked towards her unrolled poster-board, fingering the corner of it thoughtfully. “It was alright, I guess,” she replied, flushed, as she glanced at him with a smile. “I’m a little iffy on some details, though.”

Chat raised a questioning eyebrow. “Oh? Why’s that?” he asked, trying his best not to sound too curious, too invested. Though it was hard.

“I guess I drank a little more than I should have,” Marinette admitted as she bit her lip in shame, irrevocably drawing his gaze. Because those were the same lips he’d finally gotten a taste of late last night. Swallowing at the memory, Chat flushed as he forced himself to look away, to act nonchalant, like he didn’t want to resume right where they’d left off.

To distract himself, his eyes followed hers. For whatever reason, he found himself staring at all the names of their old classmates written on a giant poster board. Well, not all of them, he realized. It was only the ones that had come to their reunion party last night. “Are those the details you’re iffy about?” he asked, stepping up next to her to get a better view. “You’re not class president anymore, you know. You don’t need to take roll call, Marinette.”

She swatted him playfully across the arm. “I know that. It’s just a small project I’m working on.”

“Ooh, what kind of project?”

Again she blushed, and Chat realized there was clearly something he was missing here. “Well, aren’t you a curious kitty,” she cooed, scratching him underneath his chin as he leaned into her touch. It was such a Ladybug thing to do, he couldn’t believe he hadn’t made the connection sooner. Of course, the line between Marinette and Ladybug had been blurring for a while now. Even before he learned the truth, he’d dreamt about them being the same person multiple times. And with moments like this, it wasn’t surprising why.

“Actually,” she continued haltingly, “about last night. Something did happen, but it’s all a bit of a blur. See, I—I kissed someone, but I can’t remember who it was…”

At first, her words didn’t register. Then, slowly, Chat’s eyes began to widen ever-so-slightly, understanding firing all eight cylinders.

“Wait, you mean, you forgot?” He stuttered, and realizing what he’d almost admitted, cleared his throat and continued awkwardly, “I—I mean, that’s too bad, really bad. Seems like the kind of thing you’d want to remember.”

“I know, right? I knew I shouldn’t have taken that last shot! Kim and Alix can be very persuasive.”

“So, um, what all do you remember then?”

Marinette put a finger to her chin and began to tap-tap-tap, and he thought that was just the cutest thing ever. Everything about her was cute! “Not much, to be honest. Only that the kiss was amazing.”

Chat’s cheeks went pink, and he just knew his entire face must be blazing. Not for the first time, he was glad he was still wearing his mask. “R-really? You really thought so?”

Marinette nodded as she absently tapped the poster. “Do you think it could’ve been Luka?” She asked, turning to look at him with an open and vulnerable expression. “We talked a lot last night… maybe he wanted to get back together?”

At the very thought, Chat clenched his teeth so hard his jaw hurt, and if he were really a feline, he would have hissed.

“No, it definitely wasn’t Luka,” he muttered, much sharper than intended, and when he realized Marinette was staring at him strangely, he hastened to add, “I mean, I-I saw him last night, walking with Rose and Juleka—when I was out on patrol! I’m not sure what happened with that amazing kiss,” he continued with a wink, “but I have a feeling whoever the guy was, he wouldn’t just kiss and leave. At the very least, he would’ve walked you home or called.” A thought occurred to him then, and he asked nervously, “He, um, didn’t call. Did he?”

“No, he didn’t. I guess you’re right,” Marinette confirmed, sounding almost disappointed as she picked up a marker and crossed Luka’s name off the list. Despite that, Chat couldn’t help but feel relieved as his biggest rival was summarily removed.

One down, he thought cheerfully. Only a dozen more to go!

But first, it was time to get out of this cat-suit. He could practically hear Plagg grumbling in his ear, demanding cheese and freedom. And despite the risks of releasing his unlucky kwami, he knew it was necessary. If he was going to get his heart trampled on, he was determined to do it as Adrien; Chat had enough rejection to last a lifetime.

Unfortunately, he didn’t bring any cheese. Smelling like camembert when he planned to confess to the girl he loved was the last thing he’d wanted. So he turned to his partner, prepared to beg for a small slice as tribute—“It’s on the workbench,” Marinette told him, having read his mind, and Chat followed her gaze to see she already had a plate waiting for him, piled high with a variety of gooey options.

Chat shook his head in awe.

He shouldn’t be so surprised—that’s how in sync they were. It was one of the many reasons they belonged together. And yet she never failed to take his breath away.

The urge to confess had never been so strong, so not wanting to waste another second, he commanded, “Plagg, claws in!” Like always, his entire body was enveloped in warm green light, and once it was done, he opened his eyes to see Marinette staring at him with a cute, gob-smacked expression on her face. Even a year later, she still looked at him like she was seeing it for the first time. Adorable.

He chuckled at the sight, but realizing potential disaster awaited, turned his full attention to his greedy little kwami. “Alright, Plagg, remember our deal,” he whispered, green eyes narrowed in warning. “Not a word, or you’ll be living off cottage cheese for a month.”

With twinkling, giddy eyes, his kwami scoffed. “Oh, please. Like I’d want to ruin the fun of wherever this conversation is going. Please, by all means, dig yourself in even deeper. It’ll be a joy!” And just like that, he was off, his mouth already buried in a slice of brie.

“What did Plagg mean by that?” Marinette asked, sidling up next to him.

“Nonsense, as usual,” he muttered and turned his attention back to the “suspect pool”, quietly wondering who he should eliminate next. Nathaniel used to have a crush on her, maybe he should start with him? But then he noticed his own name had already been crossed off, and there was even an unflattering drawing right next to it. “Hey, what’s this?” He complained, putting his hands on his hips, intentionally keeping his voice light. “I was eliminated before I even had a chance to compete?”

“Well, obviously, I knew it wasn’t you,” she teased, tapping him in the chest with the tip of her marker. “We’re friends, right? Besides, you already have Kagami.”

Wrong. He hadn’t been with Kagami in almost a year, ever since he started realizing he had feelings for his good friend Marinette. Of course, she’d been with Luka at the time, so he’d been forced to wait and watch, and yet, even when they finally had broken up, the perfect opportunity just never seemed to present itself.

Until last night.

“I’m not with Kagami,” he told her softly, though considering how often they still hung out, it wasn’t surprising she’d think that way. “We’re just friends, Marinette. We’ve been that way for a while now.”

The friend he absolutely didn’t want as a friend, gasped, staring up at him in disbelief. “What? I’m so sorry to hear that, Adrien. I had no idea.”

He shrugged. “It was so long ago and it was mutual. We agreed to split as soon as I realized I was in love with someone else…”

Marinette’s beautiful blue eyes widened at that revelation, and the prettiest blush colored her cheeks as she turned her attention back to the board. Her hands shook the slightest bit as she crossed Kagami’s name off the list.

“Well, you two still left together,” she said softly. “So I guess I can rule her out.”

Adrien laughed as he took the marker from her hand. “Wow, you can’t even remember the gender? You were drunk.” And though he felt the tiniest bit guilty about that, she hadn’t seemed drunk. They’d held an entire conversation before the kissing had even begun. Still, knowing that all of that build-up and ground-work had been destroyed was depressing.

“So, what do you remember? Aside from it being the best kiss in the history of kisses,” he added slyly, fighting back a grin.“You must remember something. Like, what led up to it? What color was his hair? His eyes? Do you even remember where you were at?”

“I think I remember stairs—in Montmartre,” she replied, and watched as Adrien began crossing names off the list. First, he removed Nathaniel, Alix, Kim, and Max. And after that, drew a line through Ivan and Mylene, easily eliminating half of her suspects as if it were nothing.

When she raised an eyebrow in question, Adrien shrugged, though his eyes were full of mirth. “They all hate stairs,” he said by way of explanation, and with an encouraging smile, asked, “Anything else you remember?”

Marinette dutifully looked away as she closed her eyes, searching for any details floating just out of reach. Though they both knew the answer, knew where all of this was headed.

Still, he waited patiently, allowing her to figure it out for herself. And sure enough, when her pretty bluebell eyes flew open and her lips parted in surprise, he knew she knew. “Green eyes. Blond hair,” she whispered as Adrien continued down the list, eliminating the rest of their classmates one by one, everyone who didn’t match that description. And when no one was left, he circled his own name, again and again, until it stood out like a shining star against that pure white background.

“Adrien?” she breathed, finally looking up at him.

“Surprise,” he said again, laughing lightly as he fearlessly met her gaze. But inside, he was shaking. Once more, he felt like a love-sick cat standing on a rooftop, bracing for rejection. “I came back, you know,” he told her, feeling strangely shy. “I forgot my bag and saw you sitting outside on the stairs getting some air, and we got to talking, really talking… I—I honestly can’t believe you forgot all of it.”

“Sorry,” Marinette mumbled, just as softly. “There’s a reason I don’t drink very often.”

Adrien bit back a smile, knowing the real reason behind her sobriety. After all, the savior of Paris couldn’t exactly fight Hawkmoth while intoxicated, could she?

“Then what made you drink last night?” he asked, despite already knowing the answer, having heard them from her very lips on those stairs. Yet the selfish part of him, the part that wanted her to remember what they’d shared, needed to hear those words again. “Surely your classes at IFA couldn’t be that stressful. Not already.”

Marinette released a quiet little sigh as she nervously fingered the poster-board. “Well, why did you kiss me then?” she shot back, and Adrien laughed, not expecting her to turn this back on him so quickly. But unlike his Lady, he wasn’t afraid to be upfront and honest.

“Because I wanted to. I’ve been in love with you for a very long time now, Marinette.”

“Y-You have?!” Marinette stuttered and then stumbled, nearly tearing down her poster-board in the process—which was quite the feat, considering she’d been standing still. But as always, Adrien was there to catch her before she could fall too far, his arms around her shoulders, holding her steady.

Reluctantly, he let her go. “I have.”

“But, but I had no idea! Why didn’t you ever say anything? Why did you let everyone think you were still dating Kagami?”

“I didn’t! I didn’t even know that’s what everyone thought!” Adrien insisted, shaking his head. “I was just being friendly, and since she’s one of the few people my dad actually lets me hang out with, I had no reason not to. Besides, the only reason I ever dated her in the first place was because I couldn’t have you—you didn’t like me that way!”

“I’ve always liked you that way!”

“Well, sure, I know that now,” he complained.

“Then, so, we do like each other. Both of us,” Marinette confirmed, blushing like mad now. “And last night, on the steps, we confessed to each other . . . and I don’t remember any of it!” It took all of five seconds for Marinette to go from flustered and shy to absolutely distraught as she turned away, hands tangled in her hair.

Adrien simply took another step closer. “That’s nothing new for me,” he reminded her, having experienced an unfair amount of memory issues in the past. “But if it bothers you that much, I can always remind you what happened if you want.”

Marinette stopped pantomiming long enough to glance over at him. “Really? Y-you’d do that?”

“Of course,” he told her with a happy little laugh.

“O-okay then,” she said, staring at him, expectant and trusting.

And Adrien was determined not to disappoint. He’d give her a story she’d never forget.

“So there we were,” he began, setting the scene as he leaned towards her, his eyes sparkling mischievously. “All alone on the stairs on a beautiful night. There was romantic music drifting in from the venue, and the light from the street lamps bathed us both in a warm, soft glow—so I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when you confessed your undying love for me right there on the spot.”

“I WHAT?!”

Adrien nodded, fighting back a grin. “That’s right. Apparently, you ‘couldn’t keep your feelings to yourself anymore’—those were your exact words, by the way. And you started insisting we were destined to be together, that fate and Hawkmoth, and even ‘dumb, purple butterflies’—again, your words—could never tear our love apart.”

Unsurprisingly, Marinette’s face had gone from a pale, sickly white to a bright fuchsia, so red, it was entirely possible her blood-vessels may have imploded, but Adrien continued on innocently, enjoying being able to unbalance his Lady for once. “And that’s when you kissed me. And then I kissed you, and honestly, we did a lot of kissing last night, Marinette, it’s kind of hard to keep track—but it really was as epic as you remember.”

At some point during his retelling, the love of his life had collapsed soundlessly to the floor, her legs splayed out beneath her as she stared at the rug in utter humiliation and self-reproach. And Adrien felt a little bad. But only a little.

He hadn’t exaggerated too much.

Hoping to cheer her up, he knelt down, slowly placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, like he was approaching a startled rabbit that was ready to bolt. “If it makes you feel any better, I did bring you flowers,” he reminded her, gesturing to the abandoned bouquet on her desk. “I would have given them to you last night after I brought you home, but it was too late and all the stores were closed.”

Finally, Marinette lifted her head, her cheeks slowly resuming their color as she glanced at her gift from across the room. “Flowers? Those were for me?”

“Of course,” he teased. “I don’t give flowers to just anyone, Princess.”

“But—Kagami? I thought they were for her birthday.”

Adrien’s gaze softened. “I already gave Kagami her gift last night. I bought those for you, Marinette. I couldn’t exactly come here empty-handed, could I? Not after giving you a kiss to end all kisses,” he reminded her with a wink. “Of course, if you don’t want them…”

“I DO! I want them!” Marinette insisted loudly, too loudly apparently, because her eyes instantly widened and she threw a hand over her mouth in embarrassment. “I-I mean,” she floundered as she lowered her hands and gave him a dazzling smile. “Thank you, Adrien. They’re beautiful.”

And if he wasn’t kneeling, it would’ve been his turn to collapse.

“Not as beautiful as you,” he replied sincerely, and Marinette practically melted right there on the floor. Adrien laughed, pleased and encouraged by how open and unguarded she was being. If she was angry or regretted anything, he had no doubt she would’ve kicked him out long before now—his lady was nothing if not decisive.

And apparently delusional, because the next words out of her mouth were: “Thanks, but I’m not, not really,” and at her shy expression, Adrien scoffed so hard he nearly gave himself whiplash.

“Of course you are,” he insisted, just as loudly and as passionately. “You’re beautiful, Marinette. You’re brilliant and brave and talented and kind and just-just amazing. It’s no wonder I fell in love with you twice,” he told her, and if he thought her face couldn’t get any redder at that point, he’d be wrong. “I’m only sorry I never saw it sooner,” he continued, needing to get the words out. “That I was stupid and blind, and mistook what I felt for you as friendship when it was obviously something more.”

Marinette stared at him in wonder. “How can you say all of that so easily?” she asked him, shaking her head in disbelief. “I-I’ve been trying to tell you that for four years now, and it took getting drunk and then blacking out before I could even get the words out!”

“Well, what’s stopping you now?” He asked, giving her an encouraging smile as he threw out his arms, opening them wide in invitation. “I’m here. I’m listening. Go on and woo me, Bugaboo.”

Marinette stared at him, completely slack-jawed. And it took waaay too long for Adrien to realize what he’d just let slip, what he’d unknowingly confessed. And just like that, he found himself at a crossroads.

“B-Bugaboo?” She repeated uncertainly.

He could deny it, of course. Could laugh it off and say she reminded him of his lady. But if he was honest with himself, Adrien was tired of the lies, tired of pretending he didn’t know. Now that everything was out in the open, it was time to be honest about everything. “Would you prefer Wonderbug, My Lady?” He asked, unable to hide his nervousness, “Or Mrs. Agreste? That’s on the table too, if you want it.”

A dreamy look entered her eyes at his suggestion which made him sit up and take notice. But just as quickly Marinette began shaking her head, as though mentally berating herself.

“But HOW did you—WHEN?”

“So, that’s a funny story, actually,” he continued, red-faced now, and absolutely dreading this conversation. Why couldn’t they just go straight back to kissing? “Last night, you may have, kind of, sort of, admitted you were Ladybug to me—not that it mattered,” he hastened to add, “I’ve known for months now!”

“YOU’VE WHAT?”

“I mean, I saw you—months ago, by accident. Not on purpose! I wasn’t following you or anything, I swear!”

Thankfully, as he rambled like an idiot, Tikki finally decided to make her presence known. Now that Marinette knew the secret was out, she had no reason to stay hidden. So, like an angry little hornet, she buzzed onto the scene, antennas twitching irritably. “That’s right, you did,” she chastised as Marinette’s look of panic increased ten-fold. “Now do you see why I was so upset with you, Marinette? That was very irresponsible: Anyone could have overheard you! You are NEVER allowed to drink alcohol again!”

“Aw, come on now, Sugar Cube,” said Plagg, flying lazily beside her. “Leave the kid alone. Humans always do stupid things when they drink. You should’ve set a better example.”

Despite Tikki turning that terrifying displeasure on her partner, Plagg didn’t even flinch. “I certainly do not drink, nor to excess,” she shot back, leveling him with a glare. “If anyone’s been a terrible influence, it’s you and that cheese addiction of yours! Do you know how difficult it’s been for her to sneak enough cheese out of the bakery to sustain your insatiable appetite?”

“No more than your macaroon addiction, I’d wager!”

“I don’t have an addiction!”

As the two kwami’s verbally sparred, Marinette stared at Adrien who stared right back, somehow their own conversation forgotten in the unexpectedness of what they were witnessing. “S-sorry,” Adrien replied at last, nodding his head towards Plagg. “He can be a bit of a glutton.”

“It’s really not that much cheese,” she hastened to assure him as Plagg laughed derisively at Tikki’s latest rant. For some reason, they were now talking about the extinction of the dinosaurs. As one, the two found themselves naturally gravitating away from the arguing kwami’s, and both took a seat on her lounge chair, looking uncomfortable as they watched.

“I’ve never seen them fight before,” Marinette whispered, her own worries and fears suddenly seeming small while watching two ancient, tiny gods verbally duking it out.

“I know, right? Plagg doesn’t usually get this passionate about anything other than camembert. I didn’t even realize he was capable.”

Marinette sighed, realizing she wasn’t going to get any helpful guidance from Tikki anytime soon. “So, what do we do now?” She asked, turning so she was facing him directly, though her expression was worried. “I’m the guardian now, Adrien. Doesn’t that bother you? What if we get together and I forget all about you after passing on the miraculous?”

Adrien laughed, though it was filled less with amusement and more with resignation. “You mean like how you forgot everything last night?” He teased, knocking his shoulder playfully against hers. “I’ve got news for you, princess, as long as Hawkmoth is around, nothing between us is ever going to be easy. But you’re worth it. WE’RE worth it. And if you do forget me,” he continued warmly, “well then, I’ll get to enjoy making you fall in love with me all over again. I can be very persuasive, you know.”

The way her cheeks flushed at his comment seemed to suggest she agreed whole-heartedly. But Adrien wasn’t done. As if afraid the words would fester and rot, he knew they had to be said.

“I still love you, Marinette. The feelings I had for you back when we were in collége, when I only knew you as Ladybug—they never went away. There will never be anyone for me but you. You’re not just my partner, you’re my best friend and the only person who knows me so completely, inside and out.” Praying she could feel his sincerity, he took her hand in his. “So please don’t tell me last night was a mistake.”

Marinette stared down at their linked hands and to his relief didn’t pull away. Instead, she met his gaze without fear or hesitation and gently squeezed his hand in return. “I know I wasn’t in my right mind last night but I meant every word I said. All of it,” she told him, her lip quivering as a bright and beautiful smile broke free. “I love you too, Adrien. Even after learning you were Chat Noir, my feelings for you only grew. I love you, my chaton. I always have.”

It may not have been very manly to tear up, but he had waited YEARS to hear those words. Feeling overwhelmed, relieved, and loved at last, Adrien wiped his eyes with the back of his arm. “My lady…”

“Oh, for crying out loud, would you two just KISS already?” Plagg complained, apparently taking a break from tormenting Tikki just to torment them.

Adrien, who had been staring lovingly at Marinette, shrugged helplessly. “Permission to show you exactly what you forgot?” he asked as he leaned closer, lips quirked, and only a breath away.

“I am a bit fuzzy on the details.”

“I can definitely fix that.”

Carefully placing an arm around her waist, Adrien pulled Marinette even closer, drawing her in for a heart-stirring kiss. Her lips were soft and sweet and every bit as amazing as promised. He kissed her slowly, reverently, like they had all the time in the world because this time he was determined to make sure she didn’t forget a single thing.

Though neither of them knew what the future might bring, one thing they knew for certain: Separate, they were already pretty amazing. Together, they would be miraculous.

THE END

#miracuous ladybug #adrienette #adrinette #ladynoir #marichat #ladrien #identity reveal #drunken kisses #adrien x marinette #one-shot #piece of fluff

190 notes · View notes

dylanrauhl · 4 years ago

Text

Baby’s Got Blue Eyes

Stiles always assumed he’d die young, with all the near death experiences he’s been through it just made sense. He had come to terms with it. It was accepted. Although he assumed it would at least be after college and not the night of his highschool graduation. Especially not before he got to get drunk in celebration of beating Lydia Martin at valedictorian.

Yet here he was; against a tree, a gash in his side so big he’s pretty sure an organ was half hanging out and a werewolf’s mate standing above him.

His eyesight was fading, loss of blood and all that. His peripherals and depth perception were shot, and all he could make out was a fuzzy form of the scene in front of him. He couldn’t lift his arms from where they were laying limp by his side covered in his own blood.

“Where’s your little pack now?” Cassandra, no Carissa, oh who the hell cares what her name is, sneered. “I can smell that alpha all over you, you know. It’s so potent I can barely get to your own scent. I’m going to show Derek’s mate the same mercy you guys showed mine.” She stepped forward and bent down centimeters from Stiles’ neck to take a long drag of his scent, claws raised.

The fear was gone. Stiles’ heart rate didn’t even change with how close she got. There was no room for panic, the pain was too overwhelming. Sure everyone would be sad about his death but Melissa would help his Dad and Kira would help Scott. Crazy bitch didn’t even have it right, Derek wasn’t his mate. Sure, things were starting to get somewhere but the most that happened was some dry humping and two emotionally constipated boys who don’t know how to express feelings because of all the shit they’ve been through. He had his pack, he would be fine too.

Just one swipe of her claws and it would finally be over.

Except it never came. He opened his eyes that he never realized closed and saw Cassidy alarmed? Maybe in shock? Her eyes, now shining red, were wide and the hand that was supposed to bring him a fast death was now being withdrawn back to her side. Her mouth gaped but all it took was a second for her face to split out into what you can only call an evil grin.

“They never told you?” Her head turned at a slight degree much like a confused puppy, he wishes he was able to laugh and make a joke about that.

“Actually, I have a better plan.” She whispered. “Tell your Alpha that I know their secret weapon and can’t wait to have him watch you die with nothing he can do about it for the second time in his life.”

Her teeth were elongated and sunken into Stiles’ neck before his sluggish brain could question what the hell she was talking about.

-----

“Iles. Stiles. STILES.” Someone left out a whine, a pitiful whine. Wait - was that him? His head turned to the sound of his name still using the tree as support. His eyes were heavy as he tried to make out anything in front of him. Cleo nowhere in sight. Why couldn’t he have an easy death?

His whole body was thrumming, the bite on his neck leaking so much blood he could feel it running down his chest. The bite wasn’t taking; that was obvious. Even without the giant gash in his side he could feel his insides shutting down, organ by organ.

“Stiles” A breathless voice was heard above him. He lifted his gaze as much as he could to see Derek standing above him. He immediately went into hero mode, dropping to his knees and adding pressure to the open wound. Stiles grunted as pain shot through him.

“Stop, there - there’s no use.” It was barely above a whisper but he knew Derek could hear with his supernatural ears. Every word he spoke took a terrible amount of effort. He bared his neck to show the unhealing bite.

“Please Der, please end it.” He sobbed, there was no cure for a bite that’s not taking. He was dying and he didn’t want to suffer anymore. “Please.”

Derek had a haunting look in his eye and stayed frozen holding Stiles’ insides inside him. A moment passed with nothing happening and now Stiles was getting angry. He didn’t deserve to suffer anymore, the thought of seeing his mom again was the only thing keeping him calm through this tortue and Derek was prolonging it.

He just wanted to feel peace again.

And then he did.

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

Sooo I’ve been dabbling with this Sterek fic idea for like a year now and finally wrote some that I didn’t absolutly despise. I’m hoping I get the motivation to write the rest because I have the whole plot and everything laid out - just need to sit down and write. Lmao, story of every writers life. So I thought I post a little sneak peak/prologue on here. If I ever do finish it I’ll post on A03.

#sterek #derek hale #stiles stilinski #teen wolf #a03 #fanfiction #fanfic #suspense #cliffhanger #mediocre writing #prologue #writing #stiles x derek

20 notes · View notes

tsukikoayanosuke · 4 years ago

Note

YES, do the silver birthday continuation !!! I trough about asking you about it , but wasnt felling well and forgot anything about asking TvT Doesnt matter who wakes him up (through it would be fun to see everyone fighting to be the true love smoch, and wakes with a platonic kiss in the forehead/cheek by grimm pretty please) but if its other thing it would be great without doubt! Have a nice day!

I don't know who you re but who in the world you know my draft?! XD I've thought about Grim's platonic kiss ending since thought of making a sequel popped up because we need more platonic true love kiss!

So, enjoy this continuation!

Intentional Kiss

The party was doing great until it wasn't. The music suddenly stopped. It was like the air had been sucked out of the bright colored room, everyone stunned in the face of something they ha never seen before.

Malleus Draconia, Prefect of Diasomnia, stumbled into the party room. Before anyone could assume or commented that Malleus finally got his invitation, they realized he was carrying something.

Or someone to be exact.

In his arms, he was holding a first-year that everyone had known as the 'Captain of Ramshackle Dorm'. He was sleeping peacefully, cradled securely in Malleus' grip like a baby. That should be fine. But Malleus looked like he was on the verge of panicking. This was probably the first time anybody ever seen (except perhaps Lilia, Silver, and Sebek) Malleus so out of character.

"Get help."

-----

"What do you mean he can't wake up?" Deuce's question basically summed up everything that currently in their mind. The prefects, along with Crowley, Ace, Deuce, Grim, and Lilia were gathered back at the Ramshackle Dorm. Jonah was sleeping peacefully in his bed, under the blanket. He didn't look sick despite the sleeping curse.

Ace groaned, massaging his forehead. "How many time does this make him trying to get himself killed?" he muttered.

"He couldn't help it," Lilia spoke. He was sitting on the stool next to the bed, hand gently patting the blanket, trying to smoothed the wrinkle on the sheet. Glancing to the headmaster, he watched the man caressed the boy's head. If this was just an ordinary sight, Lilia might say that Crowley was trying to lulled Jonah to sleep. "The curse of the Witch of Thorn's spinning wheel is always looking for an innocence prey."

Riddle had his arm crossed in front if his chest, but his fingers kept tapping his upper arm. "If the curse still the same, does that mean the cure will also be the same?"

"'An act of true love thaws a frozen heart' was it?" asked Idia from the corner of the room.

"No that's a different curse," Malleus said. Most of the Prefect avoided the Diasomnia Leader because of the dangerous aura emitting from him. "'The princess can be woken from her death sleep, but only by true love's kiss. This curse will last till the end of time. No power on Earth can change it.' That was what she said."

Azul stopped shifting anxiously beside Riddle. "So, we just need someone to kiss him?"

"NO!" Everyone turned to Crowley who pulled Jonah's blanket until it reached his head. "I will not allowed all of you to kiss him on the lips without his consent!"

"He's in a sleeping death! He doesn't need consent!" Ace screamed back.

Kalim looked at the rest of the gang. "Does he love anyone?"

Leona shrugged from his position on the room's armchair. "We all know that brat is too dense to realized his own feeling."

Kalim hummed for a while, tapping his chin as he think. Then he perked up, hitting his palm with his first. He turned to Azul. "Azul should try first."

Azul's face immediately went red, meanwhile Ace and Deuce let out an incoherent sound of protest. "Wh-Why me?"

"Well, you like-like him, right?" Kalim asked back. "So it should work."

Ace stood up from the floor. "Like hell we'll let him go first before Riddle!"

It was Riddle's to blush heavily. "E-Eh?! D-Don't joke around!"

"So this is the power of harem protagonist," Idia muttered, to which Leona let out a tired sigh.

Vil finally stepped up, glaring at the two boys for their childishness. "As much as amusing this shipping war is, I don't want to see my baby brother got stuck in an every lasting slumber."

"Then why don't you start?" Leona said, lips curling up to challenge him. "It's not technically incest."

Vil glared at the lion, but he sighed in the end. "Alright then."

Everyone watched Vil walked up to the bed and pulled down the blanket, slightly disappointed that Jonah was still sleeping. Not waiting any longer, Vil bent down and kissed him squarely on the mouth. Quickly pulling back, he let out a sigh when there was no changes. Vil turned around, looking at the occupant of the room, one by one. "Well?"

Ace stepped next to Riddle, nudging him forward. "Come on, Prefect."

Riddle bit his lips. "What if it doesn't work?"

"We won't know if we don't try." Ace guided Riddle to stand near the bed. Riddle took a deep breath before kneeling, pressing an awkward kiss.

Nothing happened.

Riddle sighed. He stood up and turned to Azul. "You. Do it."

Azul raised both of his hands. "Riddle. What chance do I have if it doesn’t even work with you?"

"None of us want Jonah to sleep for a hundred years, right?" Riddle stepped forward, poking Azul on the chest. "So, take that risk."

Azul groaned. "Alright, alright." Walking toward the bed, Azul leaned down and kissed the sleeping pirate. He couldn't say that he was surprised when nothing happened. He glanced at Riddle. "Told you."

Riddle sighed. "It was worth a shot."

"Can I?" Kalim raised his hand. "Just to make sure..."

"Please." Azul stepped aside. Kalim walked to the bed.

"Sorry about this, Jonah." He dropped a lightning quick kiss against his lips. He let out a sigh of relief when Jonah stayed very unconscious. "Good. I-I mean, damn."

"Language." Leona stood up. He took a quick stride and gave Jonah a perfunctory kiss, much to everyone surprise of his spontaneous. "Well, now that's settled, I'll get the rest of the boy's harem."

"Hey, I'll come with you." Kalim followed Leona out of the door.

Lilia sighed. He gave the boy a small kiss. Nothing happened. He turned to Malleus. "Would you want to try?"

Malleus was silent, watching the sleeping boy. For some reason he felt guilty despite none of this was his undoing. Lilia walked toward him, giving him a pat on his back, enough to push him forward. Brushing the bangs out from the boy's face, Malleus leaned down and kissed him. Everyone let out a sigh of disappointment when nothing happened.

"Lilia, I'm going to find and alternate counter curse for this." Without waiting an answer, Malleus walked out the room, slamming the door behind him.

Lilia sighed. He turned to the remaining occupant. "Please, excuse us." He then walked out.

Deuce stood up from the floor. "I should try too." He knelt down next to the bed. "I swear, Captain. If it's me, I'll slam a cauldron at you." He kissed Jonah. He let out an exaggerated sigh of relief when nothing happened. He turned to Ace. "Your turn."

Ace rolled his eyes. "Don't make this sound weird." He quickly kissed his captain to no result. "Damn, we need to gather the whole school if this keep up. Why is he being difficult?"

Taking out the headmaster and Grim from the equation, everybody turned to the only person who hadn't had his turn.

Idia squeaked. "M-Me too?"

Azul rolled his eyes. "Come on, Idia. Be a good sport and kiss him."

Idia groaned. "Fine, fine." Quickly walking to the boy, Idia gave him a quick kiss and immediately step back.

"Not you either, huh," Riddle muttered. Idia sighed in relief.

"Can we keep Ortho out of this for now?" he asked. "If you're really desperate than I'll let him do it."

Crowley nodded. "Alright. The teachers won't be going into this yet as well."

The boy was still sleeping peacefully, unaware of the panic outside his sleeping realm. Grim flew down to the bed, curling up next to Jonah's head. You better wake up soon, Captain.

-----

And thus the parade of people walking into the Ramshackle Dorm to try to kiss the sleeping captain awake started.

-----

Jack and Epel stopped by. Epel kissed Jonah on the mouth. Nothing happened. He turned to Jack. "Come on, Jack. Your turn."

Ignoring the teasing grin from Epel, Jack kissed him. Nothing happened, but someone watching Jack blushing madly was pretty amusing.

-----

"If the Young Master thinks this will work then I'll do it!" Even Sebek's loud voice couldn't wake up Jonah. Nor his kiss. Nor even Silver's kiss. Lilia and Malleus tried to cheer both of them up, especially Sebek, from sulking to deep.

-----

"How tragic~" Rook wooed. "Forgive me, Vil. But it appears my kiss was not what he needed.

Vil sighed, watching his little brother worriedly. "We'll look again."

"As you wish."

-----

Ruggie pulled back from his kiss. Nothing happened. "Well, I tried." He turned to Leona, stretching out his palm. "My payment."

-----

Jade's kiss was short, but no avail.

When Floyd's kiss didn't work, he suddenly started to hugged Jonah until his joint nearly popped. It took all of Azul and Jade strength to pull him away. They didn't the captain to actually die from suffocation.

-----

Jamil felt very uncomfortable when kissing Jonah while Kalim was watching. Both of them were relieve when he didn't wake up.

-----

"A sleeping curse, huh?" Cater muttered. "Never thought I will see this happen."

"And only a kiss can wake him?" Trey asked.

Riddle sighed. "Hopefully."

Trey nodded. Going first, he kissed Jonah lightly. He shook his head. "Sorry, Riddle."

Cater tried next. It didn't work for him as well. "Anyone else?"

"We tried many already. But nothing worked," Riddle answered. Trey gave him a comforting one sided hug.

"We'll try more."

-----

Crowley stepped into the room once everyone was cleared. Grim was sitting next to Jonah's head, weakly patting his cheek. "Do you want to sleep with Mister Trappola and Spade, Grim?" Crowley asked, walking up to the bed.

Grim shook his head. "I'll stay. Just to make sure no one is going to get in in the middle on the night."

Crowley nodded, pulling a stool to sit next to Jonah, watching the boy in his enchanted sleep. Using the edge of the blanket, he wiped the boy's lips. He would probably be shook knowing that his first kiss was taken away when he was unconscious.

Brushing his finger to Jonah's cheek, Crowley couldn't help but feel sad with how cold it was. The boy is always warm like the sun, not cold like ice. Crowley sighed, brushing the bangs of his face. He slowly lowered his head to Jonah's, pressed a light kiss on the top of his head. "I hope you have a nice dream, my boy." He turned to Grim. "Protect him well, okay?"

Grim nodded firmly. "I will." Grim stared at Jonah before reading forward, giving a small lick on his cheek before nuzzling him.

"Thank you." Crowley stood up again before walking toward the door. He reached for the handle-

"Nngh..."

"Jonah?"

Cowley quickly turned around. Grim stood up on the bed, his paws on Jonah's cheeks. "Jonah! Oil!" The cat started to licked the boy's face as Crowley ran toward the bed again, watching with wide eyes behind his mask as the boy slowly opened his black eyes.

"Grim..." Jonah slurred, pushing Grim's head away. "You're spitting all over me."

"JONAH!" Grim collided forward, hugging Jonah around the neck. "You're awake!"

"Yeah..." Jonah coughed. "Don't choke me though."

"Oh, sorry!" Grim and Crowley helped Jonah sit up, watching the color flooded his skin. Once the coughing stopped, Jonah looked around.

"Where am I?"

"Back in your room," Crowley answered. "What is the last thing you remember?"

"Well..." Jonah massaged his temple. "I think it was a party in Diasomnia and I went to find Senior Draconia, and then..." he frowned. "I did something...?"

"Yeah." Crowley let out a chucked. "You pulled quite a stunt today."

Jonah looked even more confused. "What exactly did I do?"

"You pricked your finger on the spindle of a cursed spinning wheel," Crowley said.

"You pulled a Sleeping Beauty at us!" Grim added. "Stupid Sleeping Captain!"

"Geez, it's not like I want to be the next Sleeping Beauty." Then he realized something. He looked around the room, noticing the wasn't anyone else beside the three of them. "Then, who is my True Love Kiss?"

Crowley laughed. "Only you can pull this kind of thing, Mister Argentum."

"Wait. Who kissed me?"

"Either me or Crowley," Grim answered.

"And before you throw accusation..." Crowley put a hand on Jonah shoulder, stopping the boy from screaming in panic. "I think the only explanation I can think of is your True Love Kiss isn't romantically, but platonically. True Love Kiss is basically a really unbreakable bond between individual. In many cases, it's romantic love, but for you, my only guesses is the trust you give."

"Trust?"

"You just don't love someone because they're handsome or beautiful, but also trust and commitment. Tell me, Mister Argentum: knowing this, why do you think our kisses work while the others doesn't?"

Jonah looked down to his blanket. "Well... I guess I really trust you guys." He looked at Crowley. "Headmaster, you take care of me and I'm forever grateful for that. Not only that, you teach me many things I don't know. And uh..." He scratched his blushing cheek. "I guess I think you as a father for me."

Crowley laughed. "The feeling is mutual, my trouble-making son."

Jonah giggled and turn to Grim. "And you were there since the beginning. You are my best friend and I know you won't leave me alone."

"And I won't." Grim puffed up his chest proudly. "I will always be there for you even if the others are gone."

Jonah laughed. Crowley pulled the boy and the cat into a hug. "Thank you for waking me up," Jonah whispered.

Crowley pressed a light kiss on top of his head. "You are very welcome, my sleeping captain."

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland fanfiction #twisted wonderland fanfic #twisted wonderland fic #twst fanfic #twst fic #cross-posted on ao3 #tw:opt gaiden #late 50 Bookmarks celebration #50 Bookmarks celebration #serving blueberry #serving raspberry

22 notes · View notes

imagine-loki · 5 years ago

Text

I signed up for this

TITLE: I signed up for this.

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: One shot

AUTHOR: fanfictrashdump

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: After the Chitauri attack on New York, imagine Loki being sentenced to public service on Earth, specifically in aiding people who got hurt during the attack. His magic has been limited to only be enough to aid keeping Odin’s spell in place so he wouldn’t turn blue. His task is to help people with special needs, to do house chores, help them get around, do their grocery and keep them company while they recover. He is assigned to a girl who ended up blind after one of the Chitauri shot at her.

RATING: T

NOTES/WARNINGS: Decided to challenge myself to a speed run. Wrote this in under an hour. So, be weary of any issues with continuity. I hope you enjoy it, anyway!

Based on an Imagine by @imagine-loki.

Loki let out a weary sigh as he fell backwards onto the creaky, uncomfortable single bed. His feet peeked more than a few inches off the bottom, though his head was nearly flush to the headboard. In another life, he would have grumbled about the furnishings not being lush enough, the bed not cradling him in near weightlessness. Right now, he was just happy it was supporting his weight after that hasty repair last week.

It was no matter; he slept in a ball anyway. If he slept.

“I actually might tonight,” he muttered to himself.

The more he rested, the more he became aware of the ache in his fingers and the sting of his raw knuckles. Though years ago those injuries might have befallen him from battle, or a spar, today his pains came from scrubbing a floor clean on his hands and knees. Loki was no longer that god burdened with glorious purpose. He was just another mortal with a couple of thousand years head-start on life. After Odin’s swift (but not entirely merciful) judgement following the disaster in New York, he had been stripped of nearly every morsel of magic in his veins and hand-delivered to Neighborhood Pals, an organization designed to do tasks for those in need.

Carl had been his first assignee, helping him around the rec room of the community center. The man, bent in his old age had not been much of a fuss. In fact, Loki found that he liked talking to old codger, as irritatingly perceptive as he was.

Which was why when he went to drop off some groceries after not seeing him in the community center for a few days, and seen the lived-in grime of the floors, rotten food in the pantry and soiled linens stacked high, Loki had nearly snapped. He demanded to know why his family was not taking care of him better. Carl said that his daughter used to take care of him, but trailed off before he had relayed a full explanation. It had not taken Loki more a minute to piece it together. His daughter was dead and it was his fault. And so, he took his frustration and rage on every square inch of the property until it gleamed.

The trilling mobile in his pocket made Loki groaned. Fishing through the pocket of his trousers, he pulled the damn thing out and answered without glancing at the ID. Only one person ever called him.

“Yes?”

“Hello to you, too, Sourpuss.”

Loki groaned once more. Having Stark as liaison between Odin and the tasks he was assigned was hell. He supposed it was even more irritating because Stark had not even had the decency to be short with him this entire time and that annoyed Loki to no end. It was hard to find hatred when you were given nothing to work with. Loki sighed, sitting up and running his free hand over his shortened locks–a parting gift from some Asgardian guards that Frigga had to fix, later. The little tuft of hair at the top was reminiscent of when he was much younger.

“I was just going to inform you that Carl left a really nice review on your work today. What did you do, take him to see the hot babes?”

“Got him drunk and high. I’m surprised he didn’t die of an overdose,” he replied after a long while. Tony guffawed down the line. Loki nowadays was all bark and no bite, he would say.

“Well, I have your schedule for tomorrow. I’m going to send you an address and you will be there at 9 am, sharp.”

“And after?”

“Nope, she’s your whole day. Name’s Charlie and she is blind, so be extra careful with sudden movements.” Loki hummed his assent and hung up. Sometime later, sleep overtook him.

…

It was 8:59a when he rapped on the door. “Neighborhood pal.” He felt ridiculous every time he announced his presence that way, but it was required of him, per Tony’s rules. A lot of the time people were convalescent, and couldn’t physically get the doors themselves They needed a warning before Loki simply let himself inside.

Just beyond the door, there was movement and quiet muttering. Loki waited with bated breath for the sounds to come nearer, and instead was rewarded by a large crash and a muffled goddammit. Loki tried the doorknob to find it unlocked, and he pushed the door in, immediately gasping.

On the floor, surrounded by glass was a woman, on her knees. She was wearing mismatching purple jeans with an orange top that seemed to be inside out. Her feet were bare and it looked like she attempted a plait on her long brown hair and grew frustrated, halfway through. Next to her was an overturned coffee table from where the glass had come from and she tried to find purchase for her hands on the floor to leverage herself up and succeeding only in getting shards stuck in her palms.

“Stop!” Loki’s voice barely traveled over the sound of her gasping sobs. “Stop, I’ll help you up.” He stepped over some larger pieces of what he thought was a vase and put his hand on her shoulder, where she immediately flinched away.

“Get off me!”

Loki fought the urge to step backwards. He wanted to leave, somehow convince himself that it was in everyone’s best interest… but there was glass all around and she looked small and helpless.

“Sorry. Sorry. Should’ve warned you. I’m going to pull you up. Do not plant your feet.” Loki wrapped an arm around her torso and plucked her straight off the ground. His strength came in handy sometimes, and with a few short steps, he had deposited her on a soft grey sofa. “Don’t touch your face. You have glass in your hands. Let me clean this up and I’ll pull it out in a moment.”

He noticed she was struggling to stop her empty gaze on where she thought he might be. They were a beautiful shade of hazel, he also noted, that wouldn’t see another single sunset because of him. Tears ran tracks down her tanned skin, though she had stopped sobbing. Now, she only looked irritated? Disgusted? Angry?

“Do all monsters have such soft voices?”

Loki’s breath hitched. Definitely angry. And so skilled at finding the wound and prodding. “I’ll be back to pull the glass, Charlie.”

Wordlessly, he retreated. After a little digging, he found a broom and swept up the broken glass, righted the coffee table and tidied up the area, every so often glancing over his shoulder to look at Charlie. She seemed uncertain about moving from the spot he dropped her in, fearing another accident if she ventured further. She did, however, fiddle with her hands, grasping bits of crystal and pulling them from her skin.

“I found the Aiding kit,” he announced quietly, coming to kneel before her. “You shouldn’t pick at your hands. You’ll hurt yourself.”

Charlie scoffed. “What? Will I put my eye out? Will I be reduced to a whimpering child who can’t remember where her coffee table is anymore? Will I be forced to live off of Tony Stark’s charity because I can’t work anymore? Stop me when you hear the right reason, by the way.”

He stuttered dumbly before he found his words. “I-I am sorry.”

“Oh my gosh, I’m magically cured!” She gestured her surroundings. “All I needed was the most insincere apology on Earth from the vilest creature to have ever roamed it. Now I’m all good!”

The words and her tone stung, he had to admit. Most people avoided talking to Loki about the attack–it seemed to be human nature to avoid the pain of conflict. One or two people were angry and gave Loki an earful before he was allowed to do his work, but Charlie had been the first to actually hurt him. He was a monster. This wasn’t enough. He didn’t know how to fix it.

Loki thanked his lucky stars for one small miracle: her lack of vision meant she couldn’t see the tears that beaded onto his eyelashes. He cleared his throat, reaching for her hands. To her credit, she didn’t even flinch and he turned them palm-side up on her lap to pull jagged pieces of transparent glass out of the shallow scratches with a pair of tweezers. Her eyes had finally (though possibly not on purpose) fallen onto him and her blank gaze stayed unerringly glued to his form as if she were cataloguing him. He felt strangely pinned down by her stare.

After wiping down her palms with an antiseptic wipe, he allowed Charlie pull her hands away from his grip. The barest corner of her mouth curled in a half-snarl, clearly annoyed about having had to rely on her own personal demon for help.

“I apologize for the rough introduction–”

“Rough introduction was when you soared over the city in a battle cruiser with the hopes to enslave us. I don’t think a smile and good customer service would do much to change that, Loki.” Loki opened his mouth to interject a defense, but was cut off before any words formed. “I had a life and a job and a boyfriend. I could fucking see! You are only here because Stark insisted I do this, but how you can think that doing a few chores will ever amount to the damage you did is beyond me! Save your goddamn apologies. I don’t want them.”

The muscles on the back on his thighs were screaming from being kept in that squatting position for so long. Loki, however, found he could not move; scared stiff, as it were. The only thing he could do was stare helplessly into the wide-eyed anger before him, taking care not to distract himself on the freckles over her nose, and blink away the fresh wave of tears brewing at the corners of his eyes. Loki sniffed and her brow furrowed into a deep frown.

“Are you crying?” Charlie’s tone was halfway between irritation and disbelief.

“No, of course not.”

Her fingers jabbed him indelicately on his cheekbone. A little more traveling and they were skimming his closed eyes. He sighed as she drew them away, dampened in tears. “Oh, it has feelings.”

“Yes, it has been a surprise to everyone, including myself,” he riposted somewhat sarcastically, shoving the gnawing guilt to the back of his mind. Charlie chuckled under her breath despite herself. “Let me help you.” His voice had dropped to barely above a whisper. Order the monster around.�� She seemed hesitant at his turn of phrase, though it had been her who had used the name, in the first place. "Have you eaten yet? How about we start there?”

Without waiting for an answer, he stood and made for the kitchen. It was organized, though showed signs of misuse, as well as a small scorch mark on one of the counters. Apparently Charlie had tried to cook before giving up on the endeavor all together. Loki put some coffee on, and bread in the toaster, before fetching butter and jam from the refrigerator. He made a face at the contents–he would need to clean it out and buy new groceries before the day was out; something she could quickly consume.

Charlie shuffling off the couch pulled his attention. He watched as she stumbled around the coffee table again. That would need a new place to live. She seemed unsure of her steps, but was doing well to keeping to the clear space of the living room and kitchen. A growl sprang forth from her lips as she pawed the air, likely looking for the kitchen island just ahead.

“Three steps forward, two steps left,” Loki supplied, not wanting to interfere. If she was going to live on her own, she was going to have to learn the lay of the land. “Mind your feet, there’ll be a barstool right when you reach the countertop.”

“This is exhausting.”

“I think we just need to clear out some of the hurdles. You’ve got lovely knickknacks, but you need open space where you’re not afraid to run into anything.” He buttered the perfectly toasted bread and smeared a thin layer of raspberry jam atop. He lay the slices on a plate and slid it in front of Charlie while he poured coffee. “Arms’ reach. How do you take your coffee?”

“Black,” she replied, distractedly. Charlie placed her hands on the counter and slid them gently over the surface until they bumped against the plate. When she held the toast and took a bite, she made a sound like she was starving. It took the noise for Loki to see the slightly sunken quality of her face.

“Charlie, when’s the last time you ate?”

She slowed down her chewing, jaw tensing at the question. “I’m doing fine on my own.”

“That wasn’t what I asked.” There was no response from across the counter, and so Loki dug his hand into his trouser pocket to find his mobile. The other end of the line picked up immediately. “Stark, I need a favor.” He covered the mouthpiece on his phone and leaned forward. “I’ll be right back. Mind the coffee, it is still very hot.”

…

“Charlotte Camden, what the ever-living fuck!?” Tony had just burst in through the front door of Charlie’s apartment. Loki had just finished putting away a boatload of glass and porcelain decorations into a box in Charlie’s closet. He had pushed furniture to the sides and organized her closet by colors, to avoid being mismatched.

Charlie, who had been sitting on the floor “supervising”, turned towards Loki with eerie precision and glared. “You snitched on me?”

“This isn’t about Reindeer Games, Charlie. Have you or have you not refused the last three food deliveries sent to you?”

“Tony–”

“Have you or have you not? It’s a yes or no question.”

Her fists opened and closed with restraint. It was clear she wanted the option to storm out, but lacked the ability. “I didn’t want to do this stupid program in the first place!”

Tony scoffed. “Great! So what was the plan? Starve to death? Get hit by a car trying to get to the corner bodega?”

“Yes!” Tony instinctively stepped backwards at the roar. “I don’t want to live like this, Stark. How would having him here be of any help?”

Loki felt his skin crawl as Tony turned his attentive eyes towards him. His own jade orbs were fixated on a spot on the hardwood that was slightly discolored compared to the rest. The same thoughts echoed in his head. He was a monster. This wasn’t enough. He didn’t know how to fix it.

“Tony, he’s a monster." He was a monster. "This will never be enough." This wasn’t enough. "There’s no way to fix this." He didn’t know how to fix it.

"Come on, Charlie. He’s trying his best here,” Tony whispered, taking a knee in front of her. “He’s been working really hard to try to make up for what he’s done.” Charlie rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest with a pout. “Let me call Ben. Maybe he can reason with you.”

“Ben left, Tony.” There was something broken about the way she said those three words.

“What do you mean? When?”

“Three weeks ago. It’s OK. He left a note. Because I can read that, right?” Her head turned towards Loki’s general vicinity. “It’s on my bedside table, if you’re curious.”

Slipping quietly backward, he went into Charlie’s bedroom. On the bedside table a piece of paper looked as if it had been folded and unfolded several dozen times. It was crinkled and smudged, as if constantly stroked. His fingers snatched it off the table and he brought it up to his eyes.

Charlie,

I don’t know how you do this. I don’t know how, after everything that’s happened, you can even think of taking his side. Loki is a monster and he doesn’t deserve a single iota of kindness or consideration you’ve shown him. You should have demanded his death, not his rehabilitation. He’s ruined yours and countless others’ lives and you just walk around with your “we don’t know the whole story”.

Well, I know my story. And I love you, but this life wasn’t what I signed up for. We had plans and they’ve all gone up in smoke. I can’t do this anymore.

Goodbye.

Ben

Rage roiled in the pit of his stomach, equal measures for this Ben person as it was for himself. He had well and truly fucked this woman’s life. And she had defended him. And it cost her everything.

Loki caught his breath, though he hadn’t noticed when he started panting. Forcing himself back into the living room, he watched Stark glance up in his direction before scowling. The man had patted Charlie on the shoulder and got to his feet, intent on meeting Loki in the middle. Instead, Loki shoved the note into Stark’s chest and continued over to where Charlie sat.

Sensing his presence, she raised her face to him, eyes struggling for a place to focus upon. His hands rested on her shoulders and she tensed, fists clenching. When he pulled her into his chest, her hands occupied themselves with beating at his chest, his stomach, his arms–anywhere she could reach. He remained still, teeth clenched against the pain. He welcomed the sting and the bruises that would inevitably follow. Anything if it took away her pain.

“Keep going. I know you have more in you,” he whispered. Charlie hesitated, tears starting to leak out of the corner of her clenched eyes before punching him again. “Go on. I signed up for this.” A breathless sob jarred her chest and echoed into his own. Her arms, tired and aching, twined around his middle and squeezed for all she was worth. “I promise you, I signed up for this.”

#Loki #Angst #Imagine #Submitted one shot #submission #Fanfictrashdump #i signed up for this

98 notes · View notes