#but she doesnt ever get it
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#idk how to communicate to my parents#my mom specifically#that i have been actively suicidal again because i am so burnt out#i am trying so hard to do things that spark joy but goddamn it i just#and she says 'well maybe everyones tired from work all the time'#if everyone's tired of work whats the point of being alive#i dont want to live like this#how do i communicate that i am trying to find a way out because my alternative is dying#my alternative is not just 'being a little sad'#it is dying#but she doesnt ever get it#how to communicate you are being serious about how close you are to just dying because living is so so SO FUCKING HARD#i may have cried out of frustration again today#her solution to my being burnt out is to work harder#when i dont have anything left to give#idk man it sucks when youre trying to find a way out of Pain Cavern That Actively Makes You Want To Die#but ppl tell you maybe you're just being dramatic#because 'everyone has it bad'#im just#what do i even do here
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i wanted to try drawing older Mabel and Dipper !
#gravity falls#mabel pines#dipper pines#artists on tumblr#tbob#not gonna lie im not too sold on these designs so i may change things later if i ever wanna draw them again#i was looking at their old character designs and concept art for inspiration#mabel lowkey looks like a fashion mess but! i think its in character so whatevvsss#also firm believer that they both have glasses. mabel doesnt wear contacts bc she likes fun frames + contacts are too uncomfortable for her#dipper doesnt wear contacts because hes too busy for contacts and he can never put them in right#also took some insp from kristen schaal. alex hirsch. ariel hirsch. jason ritter for them too#also. i know dipper is shown to be a STEM-y kid but i firmly am a believer hes a STEM enjoyer in the service of art. like the fanfiction#writer thats studies physics or chemistry to get a certain detail right or something. or the entire futurama writers room lol#like i do think he wants to make documentaries or shows abt the supernatural or whatever#and mabel helps out with the adventuring :)#kind of like buzzfeed unsolved in the golden era of youtube#turtlearts
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being grounded from devices means nothing when you have a robot boyfriend
#i think im getting better with different angles#its obviously not perfect but this is like 1 of 3 times i've ever drawn a character at this angle#n was unreasonably hard to get right here but uhmm i figured it out hopefully#she IS winning. gamer pro#real talk. n would be cracked at fps games. he's been living like one for at least a couple years#he also sits in the tism way. it just feels right i think#dont ask how uzi's playing on that controller she doesnt know either#art#murder drones#murder drones uzi#murder drones n#serial designation n
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the dynamic of demigods thinking which other demigod is the most powerful is always amusing to me because. like, we know the big 3 kids are all the most powerful. That's just a fact of their universe. And then we know nearly every character views Percy as the strongest demigod, and most people are very rightfully intimidated by him.
and you look at the powers of the Big 3 kids and there's Percy, but then you realize Nico is just kind of objectively more powerful than him but simply chooses to hang out in Percy's shadow like he's Percy's scary dog privileges. Like, the two of them are pretty equally capable of causing multiple different apocalypses. Nico just also has like four different instakill powers and it's not like he doesn't use them. He very much uses them! Not infrequently, even! And they don't seem to take a significant amount of energy from him! And other demigods are pretty intimidated by both of them! But Nico makes a conscious point to keep his cards close to his chest and not let on exactly how dangerous and scary he can be if he wants to. People are already scared enough of him without knowing anything about him and he doesn't like that. Percy doesn't think about that nearly as much, and so usually just goes in guns blazing and that's part of why he's considered a wildcard. And then Nico himself puts Percy on a pedestal, so those who do know more about Nico's abilities then presume Nico knows something they don't about Percy that implies Percy is even stronger than him.
And even on a meta level Nico's narrative role requires him to be functionally more powerful than Percy, because he very often serves the purpose of getting Percy out of situations he can't handle on his own. That's just part of his function as a character! But also narratively he can't overshadow Percy so he just takes a backseat of his own accord and that's very amusing to me.
#pjo#percy jackson#riordanverse#nico di angelo#i will also note it is implied though we never see that Hazel has the exact same powers as Nico#and Hazel has trained with her powers way longer than Nico has plus is older so theoretically is more powerful already#she killed a giant all by herself. sank a small island. and successfully subdued Gaea for like another 60 years#so given that + her also having Nico's powers then *Hazel* is theoretically the strongest demigod no contest#Jason and Thalia end up kind of nerfed by the plot in that neither is allowed to overshadow Percy either#but they dont play the same roles that characters like Nico do - Nico keeps getting stupid abilities just for convenience factor#and Bianca never got the opportunity to use many powers besides astral projection/dream manipulation and similarly hades kid illusion stuff#and general ghost stuff. and she does all that as a ghost really. her killing the skeleton wasnt even her powers that was just a normal sta#and it was just by virtue of her being a hades kid and fulfilling the ''can kill these skeletons'' requirement that it blew up#technically she also showcases underworld immunity with the lethe stuff wearing off but that's very subtle#Hazel also doesnt play the same role as Nico and so doesnt get to showcase all that#plus is similarly nerfed with the ''cant be cooler than Percy'' constraint and so never gets to really do anything#even though logistically she is the most powerful and should showcase the full extent of her abilities to the same degree as Percy and Nico#Jason at least gets a little bit more wiggle room than Thalia being a main protagonist#Nico just gets the most wiggle room out of both not being a protagonist and being functionally a dues ex machina most of the time#versus Thalia or Bianca who are only ever secondary or supporting characters
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finally drew clora and seb's kids!!🙌🙌
Celeste Sallow: OK THIS IS THE NAME IM SUPER PROUD OF BAHAHA because not only does the name celeste relate to the stars (in typical ravenclaw fashion...clora picked the name) but celeste sallow is also an alliteration. BUT, its an alliteration that begins with a C, which means clora gets to match with celeste in the form of both of their names starting with a C, whereas sebastian gets to match with celeste because both of their names are an alliteration/they're alliteration allies🥹ITS THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!🥳
Lewis Sallow: as for lewis, if you've read my fic then you know that seb has a vendetta against names that start with an L bahaha, but 'lewis' was actually HIS idea. when celeste was born, seb wanted to find a muggle story to read to her, since clora's favourite story is ALSO a muggle one (sherlock), and he wanted to stick with tradition. so he ended up finding alice in wonderland, which he loved because of how adventurous and clever alice was and of how much she reminded him of clora and celeste (both personality and looks wise). it became his favourite for those reasons, to the point that when they had lewis, sebastian overcame his L-name hatred by naming their son after lewis carroll.
Houses: celeste could have been sorted into either gryffindor or slytherin, but ultimately ends up in slytherin because she wants to be like seb. kinda like how clora also probably could have been in gryffindor, tbh. as for lewis.....him being 10000% in ravenclaw doesnt need any explanation BAHA, just look at him.
Appearance: since clora has a tiny bit of veela blood in her, thats obvs passed down to their kids, too, and so they mostly take after her as a result of it. but there's still little bits of seb that shine through in each of the kids: for lewis its his brown curly hair, and for celeste its her complexion/freckles. and the fact that celeste looks so similar to clora only doubles up sebastian's stress/protective instincts when he watches her BAHAH. he's ofc still proud that she takes after him so closely, but seb also cant deny that he wishes it had been their SON that had taken after him instead, to keep her out of danger.
Celeste & Lewis: for celeste and lewis’ relationship, celeste is a super proud big sister, and treats lewis kinda like how seb treats clora. if there's anything that needs to be done, she offers to do it for him. and although she doesn’t have the patience to read stories herself, she loves playing outside and having lewis read to her in the background, and loves to act out/use his stories to fuel her imagination. and lewis makes sure to pick stories that he KNOWS she’ll like (which mostly involve heroic and daring feats of adventurers or pirates. he's tried to read more classic fairytales and romances to her a few times, but celeste always gets bored). she loves to draw though, so sometimes when lewis reads books that have no pictures, she'll draw them herself.
Celeste & Seb/Clora: celeste is a daddy's girl LOL and always tries to impress seb with the stuff she does, especially after hearing how HE was at her age, and so its half to impress and half because shes competitive that she wants to do the same/be just as good. and seb always gets a kick out of hearing her feats in the crossed wands club, or in defense against the dark arts class, and he also goads her on, telling her she'll have to do better than that if she wants to be as good as HE was. and whenever celeste gets detention, clora always stresses and asks why, whereas seb just tries to keep the smirk off his face. as for celeste and clora, clora also reads to celeste, and bakes and cooks with her, which is something celeste actually likes doing. not only because it keeps her busy and she likes to help and get messy in general, but also because she likes the fact that it results in good food afterwards LOL, and constantly asks when things can be taken out of the oven. also, for as tomboy-y as celeste is, she honestly doesn't mind/likes the clothing that clora puts her in and likes when clora dresses her up, bc it makes her look like one of the princesses from the storybooks, and it just amuses her more than anything else. once she enters hogwarts, though, its mostly trousers. but she still DOES like the occasional girly clothing.
Lewis & Seb/Clora: lewis is a momma's boy LOL and unlike celeste, doesnt care about duelling or of proving himself or anything like that, and is only concerned with stories and his future studies. so ofc clora had to show him sherlock, which he naturally loved. it even inspired lewis to want to write his own stories, so that he could challenge his own skill and see if he could, but also because he wants his mom to read them, and likes the idea of writing his own sherlock-esque story with equations and mysteries to be solved that he can offer her. lewis also wants to write a book for celeste as well, bc although he wont admit it, he basically wants to write a story tailor-made for her and her interests. one that he thinks will have everything she’d love in it. and part of it is genuinely because he WANTS to do it for her, but the other part of it is also for his ego, and to see if he CAN write a compelling story, and write something that would actually get THE hyperactive celeste to sit down and read it in its entirety (not to mention of her own volition). as for with seb, lewis looks up to him more than anyone else, due to how well-rounded he is and how hes so good at practical stuff AND studying, and he kinda sees seb as a main character/protagonist from one of his books, and uses sebastian as inspiration for his own stories. if hes stuck on what he thinks the dashing main character should do next, he'll ask his dad what HE would do, which results in seb getting very weird questions that he nonetheless is always happy to answer. also, when lewis is older and finally learns the full story of what happened with clora and seb and ranrok and rookwood, he writes their story in novel form, except he just changes their names/some of the details, and it becomes a best seller LOL. and i didnt know where to put this, but the four of them all read a story before bed every night, with lewis in the middle and seb and clora on either side of him. though celeste stands at the foot of the bed, basically doing a charade/mime show of what theyre reading, and putting on a little play to go along with it BAHHA.
OK thats all i can think of for now ive yapped enough😩 if youve read all of this ur a real one.... ive also considered giving them a 3rd (and last) child, which would be a boy that looks exactly like seb, and seb would just be praying like please.....let this son take after me🧎♂️🙏 BAHHA
#much to sebs dismay celeste is probs gonna be an auror LMAO whereas lewis is gonna be a writer#seb once again asking the universe why their personalities couldnt have been switched....but girldad seb is made to suffer#and yes they are BOTH dressed by clora and her mom if you couldnt tell LMAO#just wait till lewis is out of that sailor fit...he gonna be a heartbreaker when hes older fr fr. bro is beautiful#also i can imagine celeste when shes older using her looks to her advantage BAHHA like noo...i wouldnt do that...look at me🥹uwu#sweet talking her way out of detention BAHAHA shes that troublemaker student that the teachers secretly have a fond spot for#and altho seb tells lewis to protect and watch over her in school he doesnt rly take it seriously bc hes still young#but once they get older and if celeste ever DOES have problems then lewis definitely would step up for her as her brother#but hed do it in a very conniving and indirect way...like finding out whoever is causing her trouble and hexing them or some shit LMAO#and nobody would ever know😇😇😇#celeste would be like I GUESS I FINALLY SCARED THEM OFF/THEY LEARNED NOT TO MESS WITH ME!!!#and lewis would just be like yea....thats probably what happened.#bro does not need OR want the credit LMAO#also hes soft for his sis so he supports her delusions like the good lil bro he is. lewis supports womens rights and wrongs. king#choccyart#celeste sallow#lewis sallow
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Rockstar! Eddie and transfem! Hoh! Stevie
Eddie being aggressively enthusiastically publicly in love with her because that's his fucking wife! (No matter if they can't get legally married because Stevie can't change her gender marker and gay marriage isn't legal yet)
Eddie getting worried for all of five minutes when the transphobia and abelism start rolling in but Stevie is a mean girl and a bitch at heart and puts it to good use
Robin being Stevie's go to asl interpreter who signs all the stupid shit people say so she can laugh at them with Stevie
Corroded coffin refusing to be interviewed or photographed ect by anyone who has been openly transphobic or abelism to anyone not just Stevie
Their poor pr manager whose trying to get them to tone it down a little bit to be more "mainstream and palatable to people" which only gets them to double down because fuck that
#eddie practially screaming#i love my fucking wife#when ever the opertunity arises#stevie loves her husband just as much#but doesnt feel the need to shout it from the roof tops#shes very into pda though#because thats her fucking husband#robin essencially just gets paid to hand out with stevie#the dream job#transfem steve harrington#hoh steve harrington#hard of hearing steve harrington#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#stranger things#robin buckley
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postgame komahina househouse with pet cat named aki (after chiaki) and she really likes nagito. and hajime i guess but if nagitos home she’ll only sit on hajime if nagito is sitting on hajime
#hikoma#komahina#nagito komaeda#hajime hinata#sdr2#danganronpa#danganronpa fanart#wikoart#ship art#finished#hajime is genuienly upset she doesnt like him as much btw.#cat doesnt really act like chiaki its just a sweet thing#projecting my own cats onto her. i think she’d lay directly in nagitos face while he’s sleeping and hes feel too bad to move her#so hed just suffocate#nagito with cats is the most important thing ever to me i think#type of guy to like visit those cat island things and just get run over by a million cats#hes so cat to me#anyways ivealmost been here for a year guys#heh. isnt that funny#(im still going insane)#JUST REALISED I WROTE HOUSEHOUSE IN THE CAPTION LMFAO#im not fixing it its funny. its supposed to say household
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merlin (immortal) giving arthur (pendragon) the only blade that could kill him
#they make me SICK#i hate them so much#if arthur had found out about his magic earlier and took it poorly…he’d be the only person able to kill him#merlin handing over the sword as a symbol of his utter trust in arthur#god imagine arthur finding out (au everyone lives) and being torn between wanting to cast the sword away but also wanting to keep it on him#he hates the weight of merlins life that now seems attached to the blade#he doesnt want it#but he cant cast it away bc what if someone gets their hands on it?? then merlins life is in their hands#he is BAFFLED that merlin would give HIM - uther pendragons son - the only thing that could kill him#he asks after days of fitful sleep and consideration and merlin is just like#‘its /you/ arthur.’ he says like its painfully obvious#NCJGSKSNSDIBSKSB TEYH MKAE ME VIOELTNT#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#excalibur#immortal merlin#merthur#im just thinking of percabeth when percy tells annabeth where his mortal point is and she is the ONLY person who knows#and she has to carry that tidbit of information around like its not the heaviest burden shes ever carried - more so than the sky#that one quote 'love is giving someone the power to destroy you but trusting them not to'#idk you get it#arthur and annabeth being the only people who can destroy the one they love#merlin and percy having unwavering trust and faith in their other half that they place their life in their hands#literally#sorry im done
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"finish your chapter first."
#pluto the series#pluto series#pluto series ep5#oonmay#oon x may#mayoon#namtanfilm#namtan tipnaree#film rachanun#gmmtv#gl drama#thai gl#IM SICK of them#this episode was a filler but man oon needs to get it together lol#she has shit to do#the longer she waits the worse its gonna be#also kinda love how there are all these situations where she doesnt know something about may and then everyone is like oh yeah you dont kno#no one is ever like how do you not know that about ur gf lol#it just all falls into place somehow lmao#but oh well#im still obsessed with it
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#i kept... procrastinating........... sorry to everyone who gave me a character for taking so long....#my art#digital#worm#wormblr#i like.. most of these 👍#ive struggled a lot with my alec design but i think im finally starting to get somewhere with him#that specific emma is from arc 5. her dad mentions taylors moms death and taylor lashes out and emma cant help from smiling#so she leans forward on the desk and covers her mouth#the sleeper.... ok so his whole deal is intentionally vague in canon#because someone told wildbow he doesnt need to explain every single deatail about every cape that shows up#so i was able to do whatever the fuck#basically his power is visually described as a not-rainbow storm thats large enough to cover a good chunk of a large city#out of canon wildbow says the only capes whod be able to survive his storm would need to be indestructible or have an impenetrable mind#so i thought yo. i recently watched a video about a short scifi horror story about how certain fractals make people die from looking at the#and the only person who didnt die from seeing the worst one had trained himself by looking at less dangerous fractals#so.. there the sleeper is ig.. a vague figure in the center of a giant fractal mess#i didn't INTEND for aisha to be looking at alec but no harm no foul. its kinda cute#anyway i spent most the day finishing this and now i think i dont wanna draw digitally ever again?
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@mcyt-yuri-week day 4 Grief!! Need Pearl to be held always and forever!! That's all
#gempearl#pearlgem#shinyduo#shiny duo#trafficshipping#hermitshipping#mcytyuriweekvalentines#More centaur cuddles... tee he#If I ever conceive of an idea in which Gem looks too big or tall I just make her a centaur. It all makes sense bam#again I do headcanon Gem as shorter haha when she's not a deer hybrid#Pearl being so awful at opening up and talking plus Gem who is shamelessly touchy makes me feel fuzzy#Pearl who can hardly ever verbalize her upset and Gem who doesnt ask for reason regardless as Pearl nudges closer to her#you know. you guys get it#tubby art
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tbh I think Calypso views herself as Odysseus's rest and reward. like, she's the comfort in a hurt/comfort fic. she's the therapy saga. and honestly, a lot of her actions make sense when you look at it like that.
Odysseus is traumatised and scared and hurting. and she understands that. she's so understanding that she doesn't take it personally when he yells or screams or begs -- trauma makes it hard to regulate emotions, after all. he'll calm down in a little bit.
she's so understanding that she's not even hurt when he rejects her advances. he's been alone for so long that he's scared to intimacy now. but she doesn't let that discourage her. he'll get used to the idea eventually.
she's so understanding that she doesn't give up on him, even when he talks and talks and talks about his wife and son. obviously he wants to go back to them, but what he wants isn't what's good for him. that's fine, he doesn't need to know what's good for him yet. that's what she's for.
she's so understanding that she doesn't even let it upset her too much when Ody stands too close to the edge and stares out at sea below like its calling to him. it's okay. she can catch him if he falls.
sure, they're relationship isn't what she's dreamed about for centuries -- real relationships never are that perfect. her Ody has a lot of healing to do. and she'll make sure she's with him through it all.
#I just think they're dynamic makes more sense if Calypso genuinely thinks she's being helpful#and understands that Odysseus is the most traumatised man to ever breathe#like. yeah of course he's rejecting my affections and gestures of love. he doesnt think he deserves nice things 😔 so sad#I'll just have to shower him with presents and love until he understands that he's more than earned it :)#of course he keeps trying to leave. the only hope he's had for over a decade now (a long time for mortals!) is getting back home#he doesn't understand that he's somewhere even better now 🏝️. with someone even better now 💃💃#anyway. she's not a good person but I think she'd disagree#epic the musical#epic calypso#epic odysseus#love in paradise#not sorry for loving you#<- oh yeah I had this thought partially because of 'that you're not mine to save' line#and partially the cliff scene#nuclear war speaks
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More than just the Demon.
#ffxiv#digital art#zenos yae galvus#venat#endwalker spoilers#will forever be fascinated with this man#look guys look- the literal embodiment of wol's wings of hope LOL (and me going hehe about that and footfalls)#the part of me that adores digging into the nuance of character writing (intentional or otherwise) is just latched onto zenos#and venat-- they cant just give us two characters who get really important 1v1 duels#and ask really important questions#and love the MC and are willing to risk themselves so unconditionally#and have them not live rent free in my brain#--and maybe this tiptoes into the realm of crack theory so beware there will be a lot past here--#but I cant help but think zenos is akin to an oracle or warrior of light but was tempered/corrupted by zodiark#or some strange happenstance of varis (who shares visual traits to golbez before 6.0 ever came out and the dark mana burst)#and carosa (who it seems zenos got his looks from- and he already looks like he has ties to venat and argos like minfillia does)#was he a result of the eternal chess match between the two parties' machinations? or just some strange twist of fate?#another day of him being “emet's successful experiment” (again- intentional or no) making me thonk#theres something so strange about the final days dreams and how dark aspected he is- that his void abilities are more tied to him tbh#yet his mannerisms beyond just what he's been through almost reminds me of light corruption and the uncanny calmness#we see in most beings associated with the light in any significant way and like second phase eden shiva#he almost has all the marks of someone who shouldve already had the echo or blessing of light but for one reason or another#was unable to hear hydaelyns call#of course it doesnt help i mentally associate him with connections to zero and how she was corrupted before she was even born#and durante- who states uncanny ability and connection with light and darkness and yet favors dark magic more#i simply live with the idea that zenos' soul was an eternally faithful companion to wol's and#this time the cardinal sin of separating the pair finally happened to rather dire consequences lmao
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oh no im stupid i just checked their heights again
#XELQUA SHOULD NOT BE THAT HEIGHT 5 YEAR OLDS ARE 3 FEET TALL ...#i remembered i write grian being 5'0 and then i was like.. oh right what does that look like next to.... oh no#i dont accurately draw heights bc ... i cannot be bothered... but its funny when i say things and its ridiculous#when i said xelqua was small for his age i didn't realize just how small...hes.. so bébé...#BUT like i also said it goes up and down sometimes ^_^ ! confusing for grian#xelqua doesnt quite ever make it to 3 feet but he gets close#idk why im so surprised by 5 year olds being 3 feet tall i remember my cousin being that age and she was at my stomach adkghjkda#picturing heights in my head is not easy#grian: i dont know why hes so small. i feed him ! (grian was that height at that age)
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"harley quinn's never had a good design in the last deca-!" WRONG dropkicks you through a brick wall
#dw i do plan to make an actual entire post about her best looks cause i stg#none of these people have ever picked up something with harley in the past 20 years#i love her jester suit sm but fuck do some of these people make it hard cause theyre just so stupid#and wrong#cant be me tho<3333#harley quinn#harleen quinzel#dc comics#''omg but her hair“ SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP#let her be goofy and have fun colored hair ffs 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪#sometimes the hair color you want isn't really gonna go with most of your outfits#but having colorful hair is fun!! so who cares!#she could dye all her hair crystal blue with orange highlights and damnit ill still support her#everyone understands the Post Breakup Messing With Your Hair phase but get so bent outta shape that she wants to keep her hair#how it is and how she decided to have it dyed after fully ending things with him.#genuinely#some of yall just haven't had the experience of dying your hair unnatural colors multiple times over the years.#cause yea sometimes your hair is just not gonna be a perfectly crafted match unless you like solely wear a single color#like if someone dyes their hair blue are they just not allowed to wear stuff that doesnt directly go with the hair color? cause thats stupid
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i really hate how the fandom’s excuse for jayfeather’s shitty behavior (and outright medical malpractice in certain cases. looking at the time he refused to help squilf in labour bc he couldnt be bothered and later blamed her for how bad it was) is “well the clan was ableist to him growing up, so fuck them!” ok how does that excuse him screaming at and berating the cats that didnt do any of that. or the babies.
#or ‘’well hes snarky and mean! we dont get snarky and mean characters!’’ what are you talking about everyone in this series is an asshole#im also a bit bitter bc you know if he were a she cat then he’d get tons of animations of ocs killing him#ppl (fanon and authors) really really want jay to be this underdog whos just grumpy at best#but in reality hes like. one of the head honchos in the clan. he holds a ton of power over people#sure sometimes the narrative doesnt WANT that to be the case but hes literally gods messenger boy#and is in charge of medical care#maybe im just very familiar with shitty doctors/nurses who abuse their patients and excuse it with ‘’but im stressed :(‘’#but this character never was endearing to me even before the team switch#jayfeather is not your beaten down blorbo in a shitty retail job hes the nurse making a tiktok about how cringey pregnant patients are#also i just. really despise ‘’but theyre traumatized :(‘’ as an excuse for abusive behavior#did you ever think maybe some of his patients like twigkit were traumatized by his behavior?
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