#and the only person who didnt die from seeing the worst one had trained himself by looking at less dangerous fractals
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#i kept... procrastinating........... sorry to everyone who gave me a character for taking so long....#my art#digital#worm#wormblr#i like.. most of these 👍#ive struggled a lot with my alec design but i think im finally starting to get somewhere with him#that specific emma is from arc 5. her dad mentions taylors moms death and taylor lashes out and emma cant help from smiling#so she leans forward on the desk and covers her mouth#the sleeper.... ok so his whole deal is intentionally vague in canon#because someone told wildbow he doesnt need to explain every single deatail about every cape that shows up#so i was able to do whatever the fuck#basically his power is visually described as a not-rainbow storm thats large enough to cover a good chunk of a large city#out of canon wildbow says the only capes whod be able to survive his storm would need to be indestructible or have an impenetrable mind#so i thought yo. i recently watched a video about a short scifi horror story about how certain fractals make people die from looking at the#and the only person who didnt die from seeing the worst one had trained himself by looking at less dangerous fractals#so.. there the sleeper is ig.. a vague figure in the center of a giant fractal mess#i didn't INTEND for aisha to be looking at alec but no harm no foul. its kinda cute#anyway i spent most the day finishing this and now i think i dont wanna draw digitally ever again?
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why steve rogers returning to the past was wrong
disclaimer: im clearly a stucky enthusiast, but please, do not be thrown off by that. i admit, there may be undertones of bias because of that in the following, but i did my best with trying to lay out the facts and draw logical conclusions, so do please give me a chance. also, i may have accidentaly omitted some moments and some quotes may not be 100% word for word, as my memory lowkey sucks. ALSO this is NOT a peggy hate post!! i think shes a dope and underrated character and quite frankly she was done dirty. but i also definitely h8 the trope of badass woman falls for the hero.
first and foremost, every sane person knows endgame was complete and utter bullshit when dealing with steves character, so this post will be more for you to maybe show (and hopefully convince) some stubborn friend or family member. nice, concise (not) and including proof from the movies (+a few tweets and stucky undertones, if u dont fw that i respect it but bucky is an integral part to steves character regardless of how u interpret their relationship) here is why steves character development was thrown away at the end of endgame.
let us begin at looking at the cap trilogy.
in ca:tfa it should be noted that steve had no one to return to in the 40s, except bucky. i believe steves relationship with peggy was no where near as developed as it should have been to elicit him returning exclusively for her. as we are aware, steves driving force has absolutely always been bucky. bucky was there for steve after his parents died, when he was sick, and always protected him from whatever trouble he got himself into. "until the end of the line" right? steves relationship with peggy was forced and short lived, literally, we're talking a matter of months here. i need to keep emphasising the important disparity between bucky and peggy, as it is absolutely key in this whole argument. steve dropped everything and went against every order just to even attempt to save bucky. even the slightest chance of him surviving being captured was enough for steve to break into a hydra camp and free the 107th division. steve even had the chance to capture zola, one of the main villains and masterminds of the war, but again, steve prioritised bucky. when theyre trying to escape the exploding hydra camp, the exchange between steve and bucky is critical. steve says "go! get out of here!" as all he wanted was bucky escaping safely. he put bucky's life over his own (this wasnt the first time he did this, nor the last) but bucky rooted himself to the spot, and yelled back "no, not without you!". they both escaped safely as we know, and then steve gathers the howling commandos to take down the red skull. bucky then falls off the train, nd steve blames himself for his death, even visibly crying over it twice. steves morals went from "i dont wanna kill anyone. i dont like bullies, i dont care where theyre from" before buckys death, to "i wont stop until all of hydra are dead or captured" after. stuff happens and steve defeats the red skull and is now in control of the flying ship with the bombs. he connects the comms with peggy and she tries to convince him theres another way to disarm the ship. steve was so dedicated at that point he didnt even want to hear it. he didnt even attempt to do anything to ensure his survival. this alone proves, peggy was not important enough to him to return to.
next is ca:tws. The stevebucky movie. in the museum, peggy confirms that steve saved the man from the 107th division who eventually became her husband (steve was never in the 107th, just to clarify) i believe her husbands name was daniel sousa (as revealed in the marvels agents of shield show) steve then finds out peggy is alive and talks to her. she, in short, tells him she's lived her life, and it was his turn to live his in the time hes in. the "my best girl" line was unnecessary and out of place; again, steve barely knew her. again, shit goes down, and steve finds out the winter soldier is bucky and immediately drops everything, and becomes dead set on saving him. not killing, not imprisoning, but saving him. no matter the cost. "he saw me, and he didnt even know me" "hes not the kind you save, hes the kind you stop. he won't recognise you" "he will." god, steve KNEW bucky would recognise him. regardless of the brainwashing, steve managed to break through the barrier hydra fought so hard to drill into buckys mind. nothing ever broke him out of that state exept for steve. "im not gonna fight you, youre my friend." "youre my mission" "then finish it. cos im with you till the end of the line." [[good fucking lord let me break out of my essay-esque semi professional format here and just say how fucking heartbreaking those lines are. oh my god. read them, over and over until it hits you.]] steve shows us again, that he is willing to not only die for bucky, but literally die by his hand. he would let bucky kill him. he'd dropped his shield. he didnt fight back. steve always, always, ALWAYS got up and fought back. always. exept that time. the time bucky could have killed him. that scene is the essence of "im with you till the end of the line" because then, it was true. it was true because steve was okay with dying at buckys mercy. theres a difference between sacrificing yourself for the greater good (steve going into the ice), willing to die for someone (steve risking his life multiple times in attempts to save bucky) and finally, being willing to let someone kill you, because you love and trust them so much (hellicarier scene). the difference between peggy and bucky's relationship to steve is that steve may be willing to die for either, but only willing to be killed by one. not to mention, bucky pulled steve from the river. he recognised him. steve broke through 70 years of brainwashing with such impact it literally drove bucky away from hydra out of his own free will.
in between ca:tws and ca:cw its confirmed (im p sure sam says it) that him and steve looked for bucky for two. years. even off screen, bucky was steves priority.
im going to squeeze in 2 points from from age of ultron here, for chronology's sake:
steves worst nightmare, as portayed in the movie, is LITERALLY going back to the 40s and being stuck there (with peggy too??lmfao) and also the quote "family, stability, the man who wanted all that went in the ice 75 years ago. i think another one came out." objectively confirms that steve isn't the man he used to be, and doesnt want to return to the past. aou may have sucked, but that doesn't mean the character development should be thrown away.
ca:cw. hoo boy. steve went against 117 countries and half of his closest friends and colleagues because he believed bucky was innocent of the bombing of the un conference. god, steve quite literally, did everything to defend and protect bucky. though i shall acknowledge that steve did attend peggy's funeral, however, there was no real connotations there other than the fact he was mourning her death (understabdibly so). steve then proceeds to protect bucky for 2 hours 27 mins and 41 seconds to the point where they escape together to siberia after the airport fight. "i dont know if im worth all this steve" "what you did all those years... it wasnt you. you didnt have a choice." "i know. but i did it" again, absolutely heartbreaking quotes if you read it a couple of times and truly understand the meaning of them. steve somewhat indirectly tells bucky yes, yes he is worth all of this. otherwise, he wouldn't be doing it. a quote to support that would be "for the longest time, i always did what i thought was right." (disclaimer this is not a direct quote i deadass couldnt find it to save my life, i belive steve said it at some point during civil war or tws, but the point is, bucky is the only thing that could have shaken steves morals so intensely.) and finally, the most important part of cw, the fight at the end with tony. bucky and steve constantly protected each other. steve kept fighting because he was fighting for bucky. to keep him safe from tony and the world. he got up, time and time again. "i can do this all day." the fact that he said that to tony, some people consider them the closest of friends, proves again, a million times over, bucky is more important to steve than literally anything else, INCLUDING his shield. his mantle. he dropped it and left it like it was nothing, because his priority was bucky. as always.
theres not much to discuss for infinity war other than their hug whicg was honestly just adorable.
mmmmm endgame. i will not go into how much i hate that movie because it would be a rant quintuple the length of this one. in the support group, steve dead ass fucking says "you gotta move on. you gotta move on" and that sentiment was literally forgotten at the end. my main point for endgame is this. people tend to tell me, the reason steve abandoned bucky and went back to be with peggy is because he knew that he was finally safe. :/. if you had half a braincell youd know that's not true. the steve we know, never would have left bucky for good, ESPECIALLY after the "dont do anything stupid until i get back" exchange [[god i want to beat the shit out of the r*ssos]] mostly because, bucky had fucking no one in the time he was living in!!! no family, no friends and most heartbreakingly, no one he could trust. (yes sam was there but were just seeing their friendship develop now in tfatws, all that wasnt there in endgame) and secondly, what made steve think bucky was entirely safe??? half of the worlds population just suddenly reappeared, which as we see now, there were massive consequences for that. i simply believe steve is not that stupid. steve going back was disrespectful not only to his character, but to bucky AND peggy. most importantly, the steve we've been watching since 2011 would NEVER abandon bucky, no matter how safe he thought he was (he visited him frequently in wakanda, the safest place on the planet arguably ffs) especially for such a dumbass and quite frankly, nonsensical reason as going back to be with peggy, who clearly stated to him she moved on, and so should he (which he did. idk endgame writers prolly didnt watch the previous movies :/) its not even debatable. bucky is more important to steve than peggy. even in terms of screentime.
now allow some tweets to speak for me, this one being the absolute most important one:
ladies and gentlefolk, all of the stuff ive said can be summarised in that last line. "it would be contrary to who he is."
heres some more:
and now finally, id like to briefly mention steve and tfatws, so beware of spoilers (writing this as of ep 4 coming out; praying it doesn't age badly)
bucky mentions steve, unprompted, fucking constantly. he clearly isnt over steve leaving, and im hoping that gets acknowledged and talked out in the show.
in conclusion, tl:dr, steve shouldn't have returned to the past and stayed there, it is contrary to who he is, as shown to us through his trilogy and other appearances in the mcu. not to mention the timeline bullshit in endgame makes zero sense in the first place.
#long post#stucky#captain america#steve rogers#mcu#marvel#tfatws#bucky barnes#peggy carter#hwh's marvel thoughts#please dont bullshit me in the comments also i dont have the strength#imma hide this in the tags praying no 1 will b bothered to look but steve and bucky gay#everytime some1 calls their relationship brotherly it takes 10 years off my life nd makes me wanna impale myself ❤#also no beta we die like men#my meta
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Fighting For Tomorrow: Chapter Six
Disclaimer: Still haven’t bought AOT but I’m working on it!
AN: this. is a doozy of a chapter- i know. lots. and lots. and lots of words. but DAMN if i didnt love every part of it. however! if you guys prefer smaller chapters please please please dont hesitate to say something. seriously. id love to write you guys more frequent, smaller chapters but if you guys like the longass, slightly infrequent chapters then they shall continue. just say the word bby. also i felt kinda poetic in some of these sections so if you see reader gettin fancy with her verbage, don’t trip. that was my bad.
Reiner x Fem!Reader, eventual Captain Levi x Fem!Reader, Sasha x Sister!Reader
Word Count: 10k (i finished this at 2 am today before class and nearly passed out at the sight ‘10,008 words’ when i pulled up my word counter. CH-YOW this a big boy)
TW: gore/blood/violence/death, adult language/swearing, slight PTSD, mental anguish, self-harm, grief, nightmares, insomnia, hysterics, horse accident
You can read parts one, two, three, four, and five just by tapping the lovely numbers!
The flames crackle and rage before us, engulfing our comrades’ bodies in scarlet and gold waves.
Engulfing Marco’s body.
Jean had found him. Just… laying there. Up against a building. No one had seen him die, no one knew how he died, just that he did. Marco- our comrade, our friend... my friend- just gone. Taken from us. There was no valiant deed. There was no heroism. There was no triumphant story. Nothing. He just… died.
And that’s the worst part.
He was taken from us and no one knows how. No one knows why.
Marco was one of the first comrades I got close to. We were competitive- always fighting to outdo each other. I’d train two hours, he’d train three. He’d pass the ODM test after four tries, I’d pass it in three. Back and forth, back and forth.
But if we faced something bigger than us- if there was an exercise we couldn’t quite pin down, if there was another Cadet giving us problems, if one of our squad members were injured- we’d always come together to beat it. It was always like that.
He was like my little brother.
I scoff at myself. They all are like my younger siblings. Eren, Armin, Mikasa, Jean, Connie, even Annie and Bertholdt. They’re all family and losing Marco… it was like losing a brother.
I did lose a brother.
My brother is among the flames- being turned to ash before my eyes. Marco is gone. Taken from me. Robbed from me. From everyone. His intellect, his kindness, his leadership. All of it gone. Taken from humanity.
We’re just kids.
Marco was just a kid.
All of us- bright-eyed kids wanting to do our best for humanity. To take back what was stolen from us. To serve humanity. We didn’t know how much hate, how much horror was waiting for us. To watch our comrades- our family and friends- be torn apart in front of us. To lose the ones closest to us in unspeakable carnage.
All we wanted was to do something for humanity.
All Marco wanted was to do something for humanity.
He was just a kid.
Tears are streaming down my face as we all watch the flames consume the bodies of fallen soldiers. I can hear the crackling of wood, feel the heat on my skin. But the crackling is distant and the heat is faint. My chest feels empty and cold.
I lost Marco. I lost Hannah. I lost Franz.
And I’ll never get them back.
But I’ll be damned if I allow anyone else to be taken from me.
The Commander roars and rages before us, engulfing us in his words. They burn and singe like fire as they cross the Cadets’ ears. I can hear them whispering among themselves- asking if he’s serious or if he’s crazy or already resigning themselves to the Garrison.
It doesn’t matter what they say.
I’m joining the Scouts. Commander Erwin’s words are a comfort, a pleasant yet caveat warmth. Like a candle sitting beside a curtain. I know what I’m signing up for. I’ve always known. But it doesn’t mean I’ll be giving it all up now.
“I’ve made my decision.”
My eyes turn away from the Commander, landing on Reiner’s form beside me. His gaze is still stuck on the Commander, back straight and shoulders squared. I turn my gaze back to the Commander- not wanting to be chewed out by a commanding officer for not paying attention. “...really?” I ask quietly, “Where are you-?”
“The Scouts.”
My eyes are back on him. “What?” I hiss, “Reiner, you can’t... throw away your shot at the Military Police- you worked so hard, why would you-?”
“Eren was right,” he says quietly. I can feel his chest fill with breath before he chuckles. “They don’t need our skills so far away from the walls. They need us where we’re at use- where the people are.”
“Rei, please, please,” I whisper, “Please don’t do this.”
“Why not?” Reiner chuckles again, “You want me gone?”
“It’s not like that,” I shoot back, “I just…”
“You just what?”
“...I don’t wanna lose anyone else.”
“...you won’t.”
“You can’t know that… I’m already worried about Eren and Armin and Mikasa- if I have to worry about anyone else-”
“You don’t need to worry about me, darling… Because we’re going to get through this,” I can feel his finger graze the side of my hand before his hand takes mine. “Together.”
A shaky exhale leaves my mouth as I close my eyes. “...together,” I whisper as shivers run down my spine.
“That’s right, darling.”
“...those who wish to join other divisions are dismissed.”
Shuffles of feet scurry past me as I remain. I can feel their gazes, their judging glares and confused looks. They mumble to themselves. ‘Insane’, ‘crackpots’, ‘suicidal’, ‘deathwish’. Nervously, I swallow and grip Reiner’s hand tighter.
I can feel his smile. Proud and bright like the sun. Warming like the sun. Relaxation smoothes out over my skin as I soak it in.
I’ve done it. Finally. After years of fighting and hoping and wishing and dreaming about this very moment, I’m here.
The crowd clears out and a scattering of us remains. My eyes dart to each of the figures in the hopes of identifying my fellow crackpots.
Reiner. Armin. Mikasa. Bertholdt. Ymir. Christa. Sas-
My heart stops.
Sasha. Connie. Jean.
What the Hell are they doing here?! They were supposed to join the Military Police. They were going to, weren’t they?! Why are they still here?! Why aren’t they walking away?
At the very base of my stomach, something churns. Quickly and violently.
I think I’m gonna be sick.
I’m already going to be looking out for Armin, Eren, and Mikasa- I came to accept that long ago- but now Sasha? And Reiner? Connie and Jean, too?
Most of everyone I’ve ever loved has just signed their hearts and bodies away to the Scouts- to nearly certain death.
There has to be a way to change their minds, right? There has to be.
...but there isn’t, is there?
They heard the statistics. They know how many have died in the Scouts. They know all the facts, all the dirtiest of details.
And they stayed.
Gods, why did they stay?
I’ll drag each of them out of here by their ears, kicking and screaming, if I have to. I already lost Marco and Hanna and Franz. I don’t think I could take losing them, too.
But if they truly want to- if they know the risk and want to dedicate their hearts just like I am… why would I stop them?
I should be proud.
They’re- we all are- dedicating ourselves to the better future humanity deserves. To the eradication of Titans. To the freedom we all hunger for.
“Very well!” Commander Erwin’s voice booms out over us. “I welcome you- the newest recruits of the Scout Regiment!” His fist slams against his chest in a tight salute, “This is my real salute! Dedicate your hearts to the cause!”
The group moves as one as we all strike our fists to our chests.
My eyes glide from the Commander to Sasha once more.
She’s shaking. I can hear her stifled sobs from here.
But she remains firm in her spot.
She’s made her decision.
And I can accept that.
I lay awake. Moonlight flickers through the window- inching towards the other side of the room. It’s late and I’m exhausted but even when I am, I can’t sleep. There’s too much screaming in my head. Too much gore. Too much carnage that I can only barely remember. The only things that do remember are my heart and lungs- hammering and pounding and stretching to the fullest in the wake of whatever nightmare slinked back into the recesses of my mind.
Reiner stirs in his sleep and wraps his arms around my waist. Tucking me into him, he sighs and buries his head into my neck. “...can’t sleep?” he mumbles. His voice is deep. Deeper than usual, with a gentle rumble to it.
“No,” I whisper back, shrinking into him.
“Wanna talk about it?”
I stay silent. No. No, I really, really, really, really don’t want to. Talking about whatever bothers me is like pulling teeth. It feels like a burden that I’m casting onto someone else. And with Reiner… he’s burdened enough already. He’s everyone’s big brother. Everyone’s confidant. He shoulders responsibilities and punishments for others- never once thinking about himself.
But he’s exhausted. All the time, exhausted. And he’s so good at hiding it. Even around me. But I can see it. The way his golden eyes go hazy at times, the way his shoulders sag and the way things slip his mind. The way he can become an entirely different person with terrifying speed.
It scares me how much I think he carries. Because when he breaks… it’ll be cataclysmic.
Reiner’s lips slide up my shoulder and neck, pressing gentle kisses against my skin. “...well?”
But maybe he’ll open up to me if I take the step first. Maybe I’ll show him that there’s nothing to worry about- that I’m not going anywhere and that he can talk to me about anything. Everything.
“...I’ve… I’ve been having nightmares.”
His kisses stop where they are, lips still pressed to my skin for a moment before pulling away. His grip on me gets tighter as he pulls me closer. Reiner lets his head rest in the crook of my neck and sighs. “...what about?”
I laugh quietly, letting my fingers trail against his forearm. “...I don’t remember most of them but… there is one that comes back… every now and then.”
“I’m listening, darling.”
Slowly, I take a breath. My eyes close as I remember the details of the dream. “...it always starts off the same… I’m in a throne room and there’s a person at my feet. Sometimes… it’s a woman and other times it’s a man and other times, I can’t tell which, but… there’s always someone at my feet,”
“And they’re always crying,” I whisper, eyebrows drawing together and I grip his forearm. “Sobbing and pleading for mercy. A-...And I…” My voice quivers as tears start to flow from my eyes. “I… just… I don’t even know, I just… I see this… light- red light- come from their eyes and they just… they convulse and thrash around for a moment- screaming and crying and begging- before… before they…,”
“...before they die at my feet,” I whisper brokenly, eyes open and staring out into the distance as the scene replays. “And when they finally die… I look up… and there’s… corpses. Thousands upon thousands of corpses, Rei… All piled up on top of each other and in writhing rigidity. As far as I could see- there were bodies- and… and somehow I know that… that I… I had… somehow I know that I was the one that killed them all.”
“I’m your squad leader, Ness,” the man before us states before clapping a hand onto the horse towering beside him. “And this! Is my horse, Chalet…”
My eyes drift away from him, blankly settling on the various horses in their stalls behind me. I’ve tuned him out… I should probably listen to whatever he has to say. But… I’m so tired. Another night of staring at the ceiling while listening to Reiner snore and watching Bertholdt contort himself into a coil across the room.
I don’t know how many sleepless nights I have left.
My body lurches forward slightly as someone nudges me from behind. I turn to face whoever it was. Jean is towering over me with a smirk on his face as he pretends to be watching Squad Leader Ness. “...what the hell was that for?” I mutter, facing forward.
“You were falling asleep again,” he chuckles quietly, “Another… late night?”
I scoff and shake my head, “You’re a child.”
“You didn’t say ‘no’.”
“No, Jean,” I hiss, “I just… couldn’t sleep.”
I can feel him deflate slightly behind me. “...oh…”
“Yeah.”
“...I get them, too.”
“I really hope you don’t.”
Connie, standing beside me, scoots closer. “What’re we talkin’ about?”
Jean answers at the same time as I do. “Sex.”
“Food.”
Connie’s eyebrows furrow slightly as he risks a glance at me. “...huh?”
I sigh and roll my eyes, “We were talking about-”
“Did someone say ‘food’?” Sasha whispers excitedly behind me.
I sigh and roll my eyes again. “You three are-”
“Hilarious.”
“Your favorites.”
“Really hungry.”
Groaning softly, I shake my head at their responses. “Gods… I thought Armin, Eren, and Mikasa were a lot… then I had to get you knuckleheads thrown in, too.”
“Now!” Ness states, looking significantly more disheveled than he did a few minutes ago. Adjusting the bandana around his head, he huffs and stands up straight. “Follow me and I’ll show you to your dorms- and then you’ll be introduced to your horses.”
He walks off, leading us between the stables and the looming walls of the castle. My eyes trail up the crumbling stone- plants and vines and flowers managing their way through the cracks- and over the rolling hills dotted with trees. Sunlight floods the stone courtyard, basking us all in its warmth.
It reminds me of home.
Not Shiganshina- but of the modest cottage in the forest. I smile to myself, watching Sasha bother Jean with Connie’s help just in front of me. I remember playing with her in the trees. We made and marked that forest. There isn’t a tree in that entire forest we haven’t carved up with arrows and knives or with the undersides of our shoes as we climbed their roots and limbs. Sasha would be afraid at first- of foxes or wolves or falling or tripping. But as soon as I took her hand and led her to the sunlight, to the tops of the trees, to the very breath of the sky… she’d always hunger for more. To go to the brightest spot in the forest, to climb the highest tree, to scale the steepest cliff.
My smile starts to fade slightly.
She’s even more afraid than she used to be… did I cause that? Does she even remember? She was young when I left… Does she remember when she scraped her knee and told her that she was now one with the forest- that its blood was in her and her blood in it? Does she remember that first tree we climbed together? Does she remember the nights we would run barefoot around the dew-covered clearings in the heart of the woods with no light to guide us except that of the moon? Does she remember what it was like to not be afraid?
Will we ever get to go back…?
The group stops. Ness smiles at us and points down the hallway to our left. “Down this hallway are the boys’ rooms,” he points to the hallway to our right. “And down this one is the girls’.” He chuckles and turns back to us. “There is… one other thing.”
Uh oh.
“There’s only one bathroom.”
I stifle a groan. It’s a goddamn castle. How in the walls is that even possible- one bathroom, my ass.
“Well… only one that’s in good enough shape to be used, anyway. ‘sides the officers’ bathroom...” Ness admits, a sheepish smile growing on his lips as he rubs the back of his head. “You’re welcome to fix up the other ones, though! ...although, I think you’d need help…” Ness continues muttering more to himself than anyone else.
One bathroom. Unbelievable. I growl under my breath as Ness marches us back out into the courtyard. You’d think Captain Shortstack would be all over the renovations of this place- bathrooms included.
Whatever. It’s not like I shower when everyone else does, anyway. There’s always a possibility I could sneak into the officers’ bathroom like when we were in training… And there was that river...
“I can see you already coming up with a plan,” Sasha appears next to me, lowering her voice. “What’re ya thinkin’?”
I laugh softly, nudging her arm with my elbow. “Nothing regarding food.”
Sasha pouts slightly, “Fine… then what’re ya thinkin’ about?”
“Just plannin’ my way into the officers’ bathroom.”
“Oooh,” Sasha laughs maliciously. “Do you think they’ll have hot water?”
I sigh, closing my eyes and imagining the steam and feel of hot water cascading down my body. Hot water was a privilege in the Cadet Corps. ...one that was constantly being robbed from me. I’d mostly show up after everyone had already showered, praying that maybe I’d have even a moment to myself to unwind- and to not be stared at. And nearly every time, I bathed in freezing cold water. But there were a few times where I’d be wrapped in steam, delicate streams of hot water warming my frigid body.
...now that I think about it, those ‘few times’ were whenever Reiner would wake me up early to get in the shower before everyone else.
“Gods,” I mumble, looking at Reiner as he walks with Bertholdt and Annie. “I really hope so, ‘tato-muncher.”
As if he felt my gaze on him, Reiner turns around and smiles. I return the smile with a scrunch of my nose. Reiner’s eyes glide behind me for a second, returning to me before darting back behind me. I turn around to follow his gaze.
Eren.
Eren runs straight for us, green cape flaring out behind him as he charges towards the group. Our eyes meet and his pace increases. My hand latches onto Sasha’s sleeve and tugs, “‘Tato! ‘Tato, look!” I laugh, slapping Connie’s shoulder. “Look who it is!”
Connie and Sasha turn around and I can hear the others turn along with them. Armin and Mikasa greet him first, taking him into their arms and speaking quietly amongst themselves for a moment. When they break away, Eren’s smile widens as he looks over us.
“...you’re all here?” he asks quietly, smile slightly fading. “You all joined the Scouts?”
“Well, yeah,” I laugh, “Why else would we be here- shits ‘nd giggles?”
Eren rolls his eyes before scanning over us again. “Wait… if you’re all here… That means Jean, Marco, and Annie all joined the Military Police.”
My heart plummets like a rock into my stomach. That’s right. He wasn’t there for the funeral. He doesn’t know.
The remaining section of our group walks up behind Eren- Jean leading them all. Eren turns around and groans. “Not you, too.”
Jean doesn’t react. His face unreadable and voice flat, he rips the bandage off. “Marco’s dead.”
“...what?” Eren mumbles, “What did you just… What’d you just say? Did you say Marco died?”
Jean’s voice stays still as he continues.
“Seems like not everyone can die a dramatic death.”
“You don’t think it’s weird?” I laugh, picking up a section of hay and starting back towards the stable. “We know everyone, every thing’s position in the formation except Eren’s- arguably the most volatile and important piece of information to have. That isn’t the least bit confusing to you?”
Reiner shrugs, taking the hay from my hands. “Dunno… I haven’t really thought about it.”
I huff and shake my head, stepping in front of him and taking the hay back. “I can carry it,” I mutter, looking at the ridges growing in his face. “And by the look on your face, you have been thinking about it.” I turn around, lifting the hay over the stable door and onto the growing pile just beside my horse.
My horse nudges me with his nose, huffing. I smile and rub my hand up and down his nose, “...needy, aren’t we?” I whisper softly.
“Ya gonna give him a name?” Reiner asks, patting his hand against the horse’s neck.
Peeking down under the horse’s neck, I squint up at him. “You didn’t answer me.”
Reiner rolls his eyes and walks away, sighing. “You didn’t ask anything.”
“I asked if you were thinking about why we weren’t being filled in on Eren’s location in the formation.”
“Technically, you didn’t ask,” he shoots back.
My eyes lock with his in an intense stare. “...we really gonna do this right now?” I ask quietly, still petting my horse.
Reiner sighs and looks away, running a hand through his hair. I turn back to my horse, letting my forehead rest against his cheek. Reiner sighs again. The three of us stand in silence- only my horse breaking the silence with occasional huffs and flicks of his tail.
“...I have been thinking about it,” Reiner finally mumbles. “But… not like you have.”
Here we go again with him being all cryptic and skittish and avoidant. I am so sick of this game.
“Then how have you been thinking about it, Reiner?” I hiss, lifting my head off my horse and looking into his large grey eye. “All the time- just when I think you’re gonna open up to me about what’s going on in that…” I sigh frustratedly, “That… that… stupid, thick, adorable, blond head’a yours you just… you shut me back out again. And it’s so goddamn irritating, Rei,” I admit with a slight squeak in my voice.
Slowly, I turn to face him, gaze dropping down to the ground. “...I’ve been… I’ve been so open with you. More open than I have with anyone in my whole life- except, I dunno... Sasha- but I just… It’d be nice to have some’a that returned.”
I can hear him get closer to me. Gently, his arms wrap around me and tuck me into his chest. I’m swallowed in his embrace as he runs his fingers up and down my back. “...okay,” he whispers, “okay, darling… I’ll… I’ll try and open up to you, okay? I’ll…” he trails off and sighs, tightening his hold on me as he places his chin on the top of my head.
“I know how hard it is, and… I… I’m not trying to force it out of you or anything… I just… I want to help you,” I whisper quietly. “And I promise you, Rei...I’m not going anywhere.”
There’s a coldness in his laugh. It leaves his lips like ice and falls to the floor like daggers. “Thank you, darling. Just…,” Reiner takes my shoulders, pushing us apart. His gold eyes have slightly lost their luster as they peer deep into me. I squirm slightly in his stare, eyebrows furrowing. “You have to understand that there is a lot happening- something... bigger, darling.”
I blink and tilt my head slightly to the side. “Did you… did you get another assignment?” I ask quietly, “Something under the table?”
Reiner is quiet for a moment, eyes flicking between mine. “...yes. Something under the table- from people higher than the Captain.”
My eyes widen slightly. Is this what’s been weighing on him for so long? That’s why he’s been missing at times? What he’s been trying to tell me? Another assignment that he can’t talk about, even with me-
Oh gods.
I feel like a total ass.
“Who…?” I ask quietly, taking note of the way he straightens up to scan around us before shrinking back down.
Reiner scoots us back, tucking me up against the stable door. “I… I can’t tell you but… you understand that, right, darling?” He asks hopefully, a small lilt to his voice. Gently, his fingers trail my face and a small smile crosses my face. His lips mirror mine.
“I understand that, love,” I hum, leaning into his touch. “I do… I do have another question.”
Reiner smiles wider, lovingly staring down at me. “What is it, darling?”
Nervous claws at my stomach.
I shouldn’t ask this.
Why? He’s finally being open with me- willing to at least tell me what’s wrong. Shouldn’t I-
No. There’s something bigger here. Don’t. Ask.
“__________?”
I swallow my fear and meet his gaze. “...I heard you the night after the first clean-up operation,” I admit quietly, “with Annie and Bertholdt.”
Reiner’s eyes darken, dropping down and avoiding my gaze. “...how much did you...?”
“Not much,” I laugh nervously, “Just you guys arguing about telling me… and Annie saying to only tell me when you’re sure of how I’d feel.”
With a sigh of relief, he closes his eyes and smiles. He quickly presses his lips to my forehead. “Okay, okay… Okay… Sorry, I just… I don’t need t’get... chewed out for that.” I chuckle softly, “So… that big’a deal, huh?”
Reiner laughs, “Yes. That big of’a deal.”
“...so… it’s you, Annie, and Bertholdt,” I mumble, picking at the leather strap running down his chest. “Anyone else that I know?”
“No, just us three.”
“Am… am I in danger?” I ask jokingly, “All this secrecy- it makes me wonder.”
Reiner doesn’t laugh with me.
“Rei?” I call, looking up at him. “...am I?”
His eyes slide down to me, a small smile on his lips. “...stick with me, darling- I’ll keep ya safe.”
“...what?”
“There’s a lot at work here, __________,” Reiner sighs, his eyes going hazy for a second as he relives whatever is ‘at work’. Blinking, he focuses back on me. “But I can keep you safe. I’ve been keeping you safe.”
What does this even mean? Are there people I can’t trust? If that’s true, then what? What am I supposed to do? Be some tiny little doll cowering in fear behind him? I hate being treated like some weak, fragile, defenseless thing. And what if he gets hurt protecting me? What then? What if something goes wrong and he ends up being blamed for something he didn’t do?
And what about Sasha?
“...what about my sister? What about her? Who’s gonna keep her safe?” I ask, clutching the fabric covering his chest, “If anything happens to Sasha, I…”
“Nothing’s gonna happen to Sasha,” Reiner hums quietly, “We’re gonna keep her safe.”
“And Eren? Mikasa? Armin? What about the boys? If any of them get hurt, Rei, I just… I don’t think I could…”
“__________,” he says firmly, catching my attention. Slowly, my eyes slide up to meet his again. They’re gentle and glowing in the fading sunlight. His hand trails down my face again, leaving a buzzing wake behind it.
“You need to trust me.”
I swallow and nod quickly. “Okay, yes, okay… Okay, you’re right. We… We are all gonna be okay.”
Reiner chuckles and lets his chin rest on the top of my head as he tucks me into his chest again.
“That’s my girl.”
“Oiii!” I yell, waving a hand over my head. “Ponytail!”
Eld’s head starts swiveling around, looking for whoever called him. With a gentle kick of my horse, he trots closer. “Eld!” I call again, sliding off the side of my horse. My feet hit the dirt just in front of him as I straighten up, shaking a few stray hairs out of my eyes. “It’s good to see ya again.”
Eld smiles and chuckles, gesturing down to the emerald green cape around my shoulders. “So you made it.”
I look down and rub the fabric between my fingers. A smile crosses my face as I look back up to him. “Just like I dreamed I would.”
“You’re in pretty high spirits,” Oluo scoffs as he walks by with a supply box. Setting it down into a wagon, he huffs and turns to face us. “Considering we’ll all be facing death in a few hours.”
“Always the charmer, huh?” I mutter quietly, earning a small laugh from Eld. “And if you have t’know, I’m just happy we’re one step closer to going outside the walls…” I smile to myself, imagining the places Armin used to talk about. Fire water, ice hills, saltwater that goes on for so long even the merchants couldn’t drain all the salt from it.
I think that’ll be my favorite. ‘Sea’.
Oluo scoffs again. “Bright-eyed, suicidal recruit… Just don’t get someone else killed, will ya?”
“What the hell’s that supposed t’mean?” I snap back.
Oluo smiles crookedly, realisation splitting his face like a piece of china. “Struck a nerve, huh?,” he laughs, “Better get rid of those if you wanna make it.”
“Bold talk for someone that’s too insecure to keep his own personality,” I mutter, rolling my eyes. I turn my attention back to Eld- who’s gone awfully quiet as the two of us went at it. A blush is back on his cheeks and I can see him fidgeting with his gaze in an effort to mind his own business.
“...uhm…” He mumbles as his eyes catch someone walking behind me. “This is Petra!” Eld blurts, tugging a woman by the arm. “The one that checked on you when you were, uh… asleep.”
“In a coma, more like,” I laugh, dipping my head to the woman. She has ginger hair cut just above her shoulders and soft, kind eyes. There’s something about her that reminds me so much of a deer for some reason.
Petra’s eyes suddenly light up as she looks over me again. “I remember you- you’re __________! I didn’t know you had your heart set on the Scouts. Which is surprising… considering how much Eld talks about you.”
Eld’s face goes even redder. He stands rigidly, eyes fixated on the horizon.
...I think he just went into shock.
“Well, thank you,” I hum, giving Petra another smile. “For checking in on me.”
Petra shakes her head, “It wasn’t any issue at all.”
I dip my head again and lightly punch Eld’s shoulder. “Hopefully you told her the story of how I kicked your and Oluo’s asses.”
Petra tilts her head slightly to the side before a wicked smile crosses her lips. “...I don’t think I’ve heard that one, __________. Please, tell me.”
“Well, I was walking down an alleyway when-”
“That’s good!” Eld suddenly yelps, “Thank you so much, __________, for stopping by, but the Captain’s calling us!”
Petra giggles as Eld walks behind her, pushing her by the shoulders. Captain Shortstack Jackass is watching them with his arms crossed over his chest, eyebrows furrowed. He very obviously didn’t call either of them. “You’ll have to tell me when we get back!” Petra calls.
“Of course!” I laugh, watching as Eld goes even redder. Petra waves over his shoulder and I do the same before mounting my horse. I give his neck a gentle pat and urge him forward- back towards the stable.
“You... need a name, Horse,” I mutter as we trot past the various wagons and other Scouts getting their horses and gear ready. “All horses have names… I guess.”
Horse huffs at me.
“Well… you’re…” I look down at his coat as we start to pick up speed. It shimmers in the sunlight, revealing the faint speckles of black and grey under his cream-colored coat. “You’re cream and you’ve got freckles. And last I checked, you have grey-” Horse looks over slightly at me, light-brown eyes glistening. “Sorry… brown eyes. And black mane and tail.”
My eyes flick up, locking onto the figure standing just a few feet in front of my horse. Gripping the reins, I tug back to stop Horse from trampling whoever is in front of me. Instead, I feel myself being shot forward and colliding with the ground. Pain shoots out from my arm, branching out in heated flashes.
I roll onto my back and stare up at the clouds as they lazily float by. “Gods…” I mutter to myself, “That sucked.”
“Told you I’m better at handling horses than you.”
I sit straight up. My head on a swivel, I look around for the voice. It sounded just like… It couldn’t have been- no. No, I’m just-
My eyes land on him. Standing just a couple feet away, with a green Scouts cape on over his shoulders and ODM gear strapped on. He laughs, walking closer and shaking his head. “Jeez, __________, you’ll really get yourself killed if you keep trying to keep up with me.”
“Freckles?” I whisper.
Marco smiles and laughs again, “Really hit your head hard, didn’t you?”
“Freckles?” I whisper again, reaching out to touch him.
This isn’t real. It can’t be real. He’s dead. Bit in half. Died alone. Left in the sun to rot for days. He’s dead.
“Ah, jeez, you really did hit your head hard,” Marco mumbles, crouching down beside me. “We gotta get you to Sasha. She’s got some experience with injuries, doesn’t she…? And I won’t even tell Reiner! It’ll just be between us, okay?” He asks, worriedly scanning my face.
“Freckles, you… You… You aren’t here.”
“What are ya talkin’ about? I’m right here, remember? We were practicing horseback riding and maneuvering. Don’t you remember the bet we had?”
Wait a moment.
This was real.
This… this happened already, why am I…?
“...it was my haul from the Commandant’s office,” I whisper, “The… the fountain pen. You’d… you’d take it if I couldn’t pull off a sharp turn and activate my ODM gear while jumping off my horse.”
Tears start to cloud my vision as I stare up at him. “You aren’t really here,” I croak, “Are you?”
Marco shakes his head.
“...I miss you, Freckles,” I smile, tears slipping down my face as I look up at him. My hand brushes through his cheek- like he was a colored mist- but his smile remains. “Gods, I miss you.”
“You’ll see us again.”
I nod, feeling my tears start down the sides of my face. “...tell Franz and Hanna I said ‘hi’.”
“I will.”
“And you… you stay outta trouble, you hear me?” I laugh, tears choking me at the base of my chest.
“You’re the one that needs to stay outta trouble.”
I nod and laugh again, shaking my head.
“...take… take care’a the others for me, will you?” I nod silently. Marco looks up as Horse trots closer. “It’s time for me to go. Just… close your eyes, okay?”
My eyes slide closed before voices start to swarm around me. Bleeding into one another, it makes it so damned hard to hear what anyone is actually saying. All I can do is feel.
And someone’s got me by the shoulders, shaking me pretty damned hard.
I open my eyes to see familiar faces. “...I’ve got to stop waking up to you guys looking down at me like I’ve died.”
The four of them sigh.
“If you die because of a stupid horse incident, I’ll never forgive you,” Jean mutters, getting to his feet and walking away. I can hear him muttering about ‘how stupid’ of a funeral that would be.
“What?” I laugh, wincing at the pain shooting from above my left eye. My fingers graze the spot- only to pull away with a scarlet coloring.
Ah, shit.
“So,” Reiner grumbles, scooping me off the ground effortlessly. “You and your horse have a bit of an issue?”
I scoff, curling into myself as my head starts to pound.
“No?” He asks as we walk towards the castle. “Then what the Hell kind of stunt were you tryin’a pull?”
“I-,” I stop and groan, clutching my temples as they begin to sear. “I… I thought… I thought I saw someone.”
Reiner looks down at me as he pushes the castle door open with his back. Eyebrows furrowed, eyes flicking over every inch of me. It’s the same damn look as every other time I’ve gotten hurt. Which… arguably… is a lot of times.
The ODM incident where I almost cracked my skull open on a tree branch.
The time I slipped and fell in the bathroom.
The sparring training where I cracked three of my ribs. And my arm. And dislocated my shoulder. All because I wouldn’t yield.
The rooftop.
The grocery store.
Various little minor accidents scattered throughout.
And now this.
We round the corner and he places me onto a bed. I watch as he runs a hand down my face and sticks his head out the hallway to look around before returning to my side. Reiner sighs. “What am I gonna do with you?”
“Love me,” I hum, closing my eyes slightly as the pain throbs and squirms beneath my skin. “Unconditionally.”
“Gods,” he mutters, scooting closer. “I probably will.”
“Probably?” I ask quietly. “Not ‘most definitely’?”
A deep sigh passes his lips. It rumbles in his chest like thunder. Calming, soothing, gentle thunder. Memories of the forest running to find shelter as another storm took us by surprise. Bare feet padding the grass. Clothes sticking to our skins. Hair plastered to our faces- much like our smiles. Wiping her face as she ducks behind my arm. Telling her that the forest was telling the sky a joke, that the thunder was the sky’s laughter. Watching her peek out to watch the forest and sky talk, laughing as she swears she heard the punchline.
Does she remember what it was like to not be afraid?
“Hey,” Rei mutters, shaking my arm slightly. “Don’t go to sleep on me yet.”
“...sorry,” I mumble, opening my eyes and letting them glide to his spot beside me. “Where is she-”
The door slams open. Sasha- with eyes wide and clutching medical supplies to her chest- pants in the doorway. “Did I make it?” She asks wearily.
“Did…,” I trail off, sitting up to look at her. “Did you think I died?”
Sasha shakes her head, kicking the door closed just as Connie and Jean try to walk in behind her. “No,” she mutters. Plopping down beside me, she looks over me. “Just thought maybe you’d passed out.”
“Check my eyes,” I remind her. Sasha nods and leans in, forcing open my eyes with her fingers.
“...your eye-holes seem to be fine.”
“...my pupils?”
“Eye-holes. Same thing.”
I know Sasha’s joking but by the look on Reiner’s face, he does not.
“She’s only kidding, love,” I whisper as I take his hand. “She knows the basics.”
“Yep,” Sasha agrees, digging through the pile of medical supplies she brought in. “And you don’t have a concussion- and that thing on your head doesn’t need stitches- it should heal in a week or so... so you’re good to go after I clean it… ha!” She snatches a bottle of saline and a bandage. “You’ll be all good in no time, __________. Trust me.”
I’m the one that taught her. Why don’t I trust her?
“You awake?”
I focus back in on the now. The present. My surroundings.
Scattered trees and hills to the right. Denser trees on my left. Two horses trailing behind me. No flares from either direction. Reiner just in front of me.
“Always am.”
“Good.” He starts to pull back on his horse, levelling off with me. “How’s your head?”
Instinctively, I reach up and graze the bandage. “I don’t feel anything.”
“Good.”
“...are you okay?” I ask, looking over at him. His skin is pale and flushed pink with a slight tinge to his ears. “Here. Drink some.” Unbuckling my flask, I hand it to him.
...and he downs the entire thing before handing it back to me.
“Rei, are you sick?”
“No, I just-”
“Well, love, you look like you’re either about to shit yourself or vomit,” I laugh worriedly, “Are you sure?”
“__________, listen, I…,” he sighs and looks away. He’s even more red now.
I nudge him with my elbow. “I’m listening.” I smirk, stirrupping Horse again. My eyes turn to the horizon, scanning for any flares or anything that approaches us.
Reiner returns my smile and sighs shakily. “I wanna-”
Something appears in the distance. “What is that?” I mumble, staring at the thing. “Do you see it?” I point. “That.”
Reiner looks at the thing, squinting. “I… I can’t tell.”
“Should we fire a flare off?” I ask, reaching to my saddlebag. “Just in case?”
“Just… hang on-”
He stops just as the thing changes form, moving closer towards us and faster.
It takes shape as it grows. Fourteen meters, blonde hair.
Female body type.
My hands move on their own- throwing the canister into the gun, lifting it straight up, and firing. Red smoke fires out from the gun into the clouds. “Rei, we have to move!” I yell, turning the horses in towards the center of the formation.
I look over my shoulder, watching the two horses trail after Reiner. He stays going forward, heading right for it with glazed eyes. “Reiner!”
My eyes follow his gaze as I bring Horse to a stop. They land on the Female Titan, who snatches something from mid-air and dropkicks it. Blood trails after the broken body and I watch ODM wires disconnect from the Female Titan’s body- following the body.
It’s… is it like Eren? A person inside it?
“Reiner!” I scream again.
It gets his attention. Snapping out of his daze, Reiner makes a sharp turn.
As he gets closer, I press my heels into Horse’s sides. “Ha!”
Footsteps follow after us, thundering and quivering the very organs inside of me. My breath catches in my lungs as I feel it- her- getting closer. Gods. Gods, please. Not like this. Not like this. Not like this. Not like this.
Something flashes at my side. With trembling force, a foot lands beside me- crushing one of the horses before it could even make a sound.
We’re going to die. Right now, we are going to die.
I wince, waiting for her to reach down and crush me in her hand. Reiner yells something but it’s lost in the frantic whinnies of our horses, the pounding of my heart, the panting of my lungs. When it reaches me, it’s blurred together like the colors in my eyes.
‘I’ve gotten hurt’ is what it sounds like.
Gods, please. Spare us.
My fists clutch the reins as I look up. Blonde hair, blue eyes, fourteen meters. This is what will kill me.
The Female Titan’s other foot collides with the earth beside me. All at once, sounds and colors and shapes retract into their determined forms. Everything flushes back into focus as the Female Titan takes another step away from us. I watch as she continues sprinting towards the center- leaving us in her wake. Her head turns to look over her shoulder before she presses forward.
Right to Armin.
“Rei!” I yell, sticking Horse again. “She’s gonna hit Armin! She’s headed right for him!”
“C’mon!” He yells back, appearing at my side.
“This is the job we chose, right?” Jean snaps, “So lend me a hand!”
The rest of us are silent. Only hoofbeats and footsteps resound around us. Silently, Armin pulls his hood up over his head. “...pull your hoods up. Over your heads- far down enough so she can’t see your face.”
“You’re thinking she won’t kill anyone that could be Eren,” Reiner mutters, tugging his hood up over his head. “...that’s a nice, but small, consolation… Let’s hope she has bad eyes, too.”
Jean shakes his head, laughing. “I was always creeped out the way you used to hang around Eren so much,” he mutters as he pulls his hood up. “But I always knew you were capable.”
“...‘creeped out’ is a little harsh but thanks,” Armin mumbles.
Feeling the three pairs of eyes on me, I tug my hood up as well. “...I always knew I’d die next to you three bastards.”
“Well. If we don’t,” Reiner chuckles, “We’ll throw a big party ‘nd get married.”
“Oh yeah,” I scoff, pulling my swords out from their holsters. “We’ll have a big ol’ buffet ‘nd everything. I’ll even have a live band play for us.”
“You two lovebirds over there still squawking?” Jean barks, leaning forward to glare at us.
“Will you shut up for a minute?” Reiner shoots back, “I’m… Kinda doin’ something.”
“You can ‘kinda do something’ after this!” Jean yells, “We’re not dying today.”
“Fine!” I snap, “I’m not spending my last moments fighting with you two morons! Let’s just do this. Delay her as long as we can- by any means necessary. Got it?!”
The three grunt in agreement. “Jean, go to her left,” Reiner starts, “Armin, you go to her right. __________, you-”
“I’m going with Armin!” I whip my reins and follow after Armin as he heads to the Female Titan’s right hand side.
We level off just behind her. “She’s much slower than when she attacked me!” Armin comments, “If we’re going to do this, it has to be now!”
“Wait for Jean!” I yell, “He’s the best out of us with ODM gear. If he can get a good angle on her, it’ll be us being his support!”
A flash shoots out, launching into the Female Titan’s leg. Jean flies in behind it with his swords readied. The Titan crouches down and spins- flinging Jean. Armin and I get to our feet and stand on our horses’ backs. As my wires stick into the Female Titan’s leg, I give Horse a tap of my heel that sends him running away from the Titan.
Something swipes just under my legs. Everything around me slows as I watch the Titan’s hand bat Armin’s horse out from underneath him. His name leaves my lips the same way it did when Shiganshina fell. Breathless. Screeching. Desperate. “Armin!”
“__________!” Reiner’s voice carries out over my own.
Before I can do anything, I feel something crack against my back. I’m pushed forward- colliding with the earth and rolling for a few feet. Landing on my back, I stare up in a daze at the clouds.
Aching pain crawls through my veins- igniting my muscles in throbbing, squeezing pain. My back arches as I take long, hard breaths to stop my heart from pounding in my ears. It does nothing but amplify the sound as I feel my lungs burn and the cages around them scream in agony.
Broken ribs. At least a few on each side.
Certain slices and patches of my skin burn from the contact with the ground. Minor scratches, bruises, friction burns.
I’ll live. If she doesn’t finish me off.
Time begins to speed up again- her footsteps not taking so long to hit the ground as they get closer. Clouds seem to flurry past and my heartbeat begins to race once more.
The fight isn’t done yet.
I push myself to my feet, feeling every ache, every pain, every burn a million times over.
The fight isn’t done yet.
I’m not done yet.
The Female Titan tightens her fist, preparing to swing backwards at Jean. Breaking out into a sprint, I click my triggers and shoot my wires into the ground, allowing me to run faster. A blur of gold and green starts towards the Titan as I do- catching me attention so I stutter and stop.
Reiner.
Teeth gritted, eyes blazing, blades glinting. He’s going for her nape.
Armin’s yelling something. The Titan stays completely still as he continues screaming.
And then she snaps.
She catches Reiner’s body in her hand.
My heart stops. Blood stops. Lungs stop.
Everything.
Stops.
“...no.”
Chills run down my spine- dull and weak. Nothing like adrenaline.
Fear.
“No… no.”
I shake my head, watching as Reiner’s body disappears in her grasp.
Someone grabs my waist, tugs me away. “No!” I scream, thrashing around as everything starts to move again. “No!”
“__________!” Jean yells, pulling me away. “We have to go!”
A blur of metal spins out from her grip, severing her fingers off from the base of her palm. Reiner pushes out and around her back. Grabbing Armin, he sprints away from her and towards us.
The four of us break out into a sprint as she stares down at her palm. She gets to her feet and runs away from us- her hand still steaming.
Something breaks inside of me. Tears start running down my face as Reiner sidles up next to me. Armin- bleeding from his forehead- is in his arms. Titan blood evaporates off of Reiner’s hair and shoulders as he looks down at me. “We’ll be okay! She won’t eat us unless she’s a cannibal! We-”
I cut him off, punching his shoulder as hard as I can. “Don’t you ever pull that shit again, Reiner Braun!” I snap, furiously wiping the tears rolling down my face. “I swear on the walls, I… I will kill you myself if you do, do you hear me?! You scared the shit outta me! I… I thought I lost you.”
Reiner laughs breathlessly. “I told you, darling. We haven’t gotten married, yet. I can’t die until that happens.”
“We aren’t leaving anyone behind,” I snap, tightening Armin’s bandages. “None of that, you hear me?”
“We might not have a choice,” Armin mutters, “If we all stay behind, we might all-”
“I said no!”
The three of us go silent as Jean continues whistling for his horse.
But the question still hangs in the air.
Who’s going to stay behind?
There’s only one horse- there’s four of us. If somehow one of us gets our horse back, we’ll be able to get out of here but until then… We’re stranded in Titan country without a means of escape.
“We have to talk about it,” Reiner says quietly.
“No,” I get to my feet and shake my head. “No. We don’t.”
“__________-”
I hold up a hand to stop him, “Don’t.” Turning to Jean, I gesture to his bag. “You have an emergency flare, yeah?”
Jean nods and gets it out, loading it into his gun. Shooting it into the sky, purple smoke trails up from our location.
It’s a long shot, but they might get the message.
“We can wait three more minutes,” Reiner says firmly. “During then, we’ll decide who’s gonna-”
“I’ll stay.” My head snaps to Armin. “Just get a message to the command section- to Commander Erwin, if you can.”
“I’m staying, too, then.”
“__________, no-” Reiner starts.
“I don’t want to hear it, Rei,” I mumble, “Please. I don’t… I don’t want to hear it but look. We’re both injured. Armin’s got a possible concussion and he’s bleeding. I’ve broken half a dozen ribs and I’ve got more bruises than I know what to do with. If anyone’s staying it’s-”
“Neither of you,” Jean laughs, “Someone’s coming this way with three horses.” The three of us look over to him as he shades his face from the sun. “I think it’s… It looks like… Christa!”
“Guys!” Christa’s dainty voice rings out as she approaches, “Are you okay?!”
I huff a laugh, “Define ‘okay’, blondie!”
“If __________’s still cracking jokes, she’s still alive, right?” Christa laughs, coming to a stop just in front of us. The three horses surrounding her skid to a stop.
Horse trots up to me, nudging me with his nose. “Hey there, Horse,” I mutter, pressing my head against his. “Ya miss me?”
“What happened to you guys?” Christa asks as she looks over me. “You look awful.”
“Aw, gee, thanks, blondie,” I giggle, “I feel awful.”
Christa’s soft face tightens slightly in concern. “...you’re sure you’ll be okay riding alone? Your horse… I dunno his name… but he seems to run alongside me pretty well- even without a harness.”
“Yeah, that’s him, alright,” I mumble, rubbing Horse’s nose. “But I think I’ll be alright.”
“...I’m with Christa,” Jean says warily, “You broke six ribs.”
“What?!” Christa screeches. “Six?! No, ma’am! You’re riding with me or with Jean! Six ribs- what were you thinking?!”
I shrug. “I’ve done worse.”
“Worse?!”
Oops. Shouldn’t have said that.
Christa sighs, pinching her eyes closed. “Fine. The past is the past. I can’t change it. But you- right now- are going to ride with Jean or me. Pick one.”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” I mumble with a smirk. “I’ll ride with you. Give the boys a little show, how ‘bout that?”
Christa turns a light shade of pink as Reiner helps me sit on top of Christa’s horse. “You behave,” Reiner mutters with a stern look.
But I can see it.
A little mischievous smirk plays his lips as he pulls away.
“Yes sir,” I coo, “I’ll be on my best behaviour.”
The four of us start off towards the center. “What’s your horse’s name?” Christa asks. “He really seems to like you. Before, I couldn’t get him to hold still- then, when I said your name, he calmed down and followed us perfectly fine.”
“...I just call him Horse.”
“...oh…”
I sigh and turn around to watch as Horse gallops. Cream-colored coat hiding thick muscles that twitch and writhe. Dots- freckles- that spatter his coat. His black mane whips about in the wind.
“Freckles,” I say quietly.
“What?”
“Freckles. That’s his name.”
I groan, letting my head fall back as my legs swing off the tree branch. “Rei, we’ve been sitting here for hours and you haven’t said a word to me,” my lip juts out in a pout, “Please talk to me.”
Reiner grumbles under his breath. His arms cross over his chest as he sits on the farest end of the tree branch away from me.
“Baby,” I whine, “you aren’t still mad at me for-”
“Yes, I’m still mad at you for being a tease. And we’ve been out here an hour. Hour and a half, tops.”
“Tch,” I groan again, “Baby, it was just a joke. I didn’t mean to drop my ring.” I hold my hand out in the sun to look at my moonstone ring as it glistens. “It wasn’t on purpose.”
“...you dropped it three times before we got up here.”
“I would never do anything to tease you.” Reiner raises an eyebrow and I roll my eyes. “On a mission.”
Rei’s shoulders lose some of their tension. “...you really didn’t mean to?”
“Of course not, baby,” I coo softly. “Not on a mission.”
Reiner sighs and rolls his eyes before getting to his feet. Wordlessly, he plops down beside me and lays his hand over mine on the branch. “You only call me ‘baby’ when you’re guilty,” he murmurs into the shell of my ear. “...so I forgive you.”
“Oh good, you caught on,” I tease, nudging him with my elbow.
“Easy, there, girl,” he huffs, “you’re still on thin ice.”
“You can’t stay mad at me,” I turn to face him and flash him a face-splitting smile. “I’m your darling.”
“...you’re right,” Rei laughs softly. “I could never.”
The two of us fall into a comfortable- buzzing with adrenaline but still comfortable- silence. I lean forward to look at the Titans gathered at the base of our tree, clawing and gripping the bark in an attempt to get to us. Hungrily, they salivate and stare up at us with glazed eyes.
The Female Titan. Why is she doing what she was? If she’s human, wouldn’t she want the walls to remain? They keep us safe for the time being. The outside world isn’t ready for us to break down our walls. And if she does want the walls gone, why?
And who is she?
“...are you listening?”
“Hm?” I ask, leaning back. “No, I’m sorry, I was just…,” my eyes flick down to the Titans, “...lost in thought.”
“I was just asking how your sides are.”
My fingers rub against my sides. They aren’t sore, they don’t hurt. I’ve always healed fast but knowing how long it’s supposed to take to heal sometimes, it’s… a little disconcerting. “I don’t feel anything.”
“...you’re better already?”
I shrug, “It could just be adrenaline. Or maybe they weren’t as badly broken as we thought they were. Bruising and breaks are really similar…”
Reiner hums in acknowledgment. “As long as you feel okay. When we get back, I’m still getting you checked out.”
“Yes sir.”
I lean over the side of the branch to see the Titans again. “It’s strange that we weren’t directed around the forest.” I comment quietly, leaning over more before my ODM wire locks into place.
“...Iyeah,” Reiner mutters, “Why wouldn’t we just go around?”
“I dunno,” I strain, slightly jiggling the wire a bit. “But do you think it was on purpose?”
“It’s Commander Erwin,” Rei chuckles, “Of course it was.”
“That’s true… I just… It’s so hard for us to see threats coming in,” I grip the wire and tug harder. “So why send them in?”
“Assuming he knows of the right flank casualties, we should’ve retreated a long time ago,” he mutters, “But we’re here and the center flank is somewhere in the trees.”
“Which is also weird, right?” I ask, yanking on the wire even harder. “I mean, if we are gonna go in, why not-”
The wire snaps out of the branch. The force of me pulling sends me over the edge of the branch. I watch as the wire extends rapidly- reeling me down towards the Titans’ grasps. Reiner runs to the end, reaching out to grab my hand.
But it’s too late.
A hand wraps around my body and pulls, unlatching my ODM wire from the tree. It starts to tighten as it turns me around to face it. My eyes lock onto it and I scream, thrashing around wildly. My arms are pinned in its hold- trapped against the steel of my ODM blade holsters and the clammy flesh wrapped around me.
Another Titan stares at me hungrily. As I look at it, red light starts to pour from its eyes like fog. Without warning, it lunges. I wince and duck away- waiting to be engulfed in moist darkness.
It doesn’t come. It’s replaced with an unearthly howl of pain and the sound of tearing flesh.
The grip around me falls away and as I’m spun in a free-fall, I catch glimpses of the scene above me. Red fog pours from the Titans’ eyes as they all latch onto the Titan that grabbed me. Bite by bite, they tear into the searing flesh of the Titan and devour the steaming chunks of bleeding meat.
They’re… eating it.
The red fog.
It was real.
My body stops, swinging up before I hit the forest floor. As we land on another branch, Reiner hugs me to his body tightly. “You scared the shit out of me,” he says raggedly. I feel tears drip onto my shoulder. But I don’t look at him- even as he pulls away, gripping my shoulders.
My eyes are focused on the fog swirling through the bodies of the Titans.
What the Hell is it?
Why does it keep following me?
Why does it keep saving me?
“...__________!”
I’m pulled back into my body- away from the grasping hands of the Titans that force muscles and tendons and organs down their throats. Blankly, I stare at Reiner. “What happened?” he asks quietly, looking over his shoulder at the Titans. “Are you-”
A scream rips out of my throat as I look down at my hands. My fingers start to rake through my skin, clawing for the source of the red fog.
Get it out.
Get it out.
Get it out.
Get it out.
Get it out.
Get it out.
Get it out.
Get it out.
Get it out.
Get it out.
Get. It. Out.
Reiner’s hands fumble with mine as they try to stop me from continuing the hurried slicing of my skin. “Darling, darling,” he says calmly as he grabs my wrists, “Darling, hey, look at me. Look at me.”
Wildly, my eyes fly around my surroundings.
Get it out. Red fog. Red fog. I have to get it out. I have to find it.
Red fog. I have to get it out.
Red fog.
“__________!” Reiner snaps, shaking me by my wrists, “Look at me!”
My gaze settles on him but I can feel myself twitching and writhing in place.
Red fog.
Get it out. I have to get it out.
“...you’re okay,” he mumurs, “You’re okay now, okay, darling? You’re safe.”
Tears burst from my eyes, leaking down my face as I roll my hands around from my wrists. Trembling violently, my body falls to the floor. Reiner catches me before I fall, scooping me up under my arms and holding me to him.
“There’s something... inside of me,” I strain, keeping down the screams wanting to claw their way out. My nails rake his back- threatening to rip through the fabric. “There is... something inside of me, Rei. I don’t know what it is. And I’m so scared, Rei. I just… I don’t… I don’t understand it. I… I don’t know... what it is. There’s… There’s something inside of me, Reiner, please! Please, Rei! Take it out! Get it out of me!”
WHEW
a doozy like i said. if you made it this far, i am so proud of you. my short attention span could literally never. as always thank you so much for reading and i hope to hear your thoughts and comments!
#reiner braun#reiner x reader#reiner x you#reiner x fem!reader#eventual relationship#captain levi x reader#captain levi x fem!reader#Captain Levi#braus!reader#sasha braus x sister! reader#Eren Jaeger#armin arlert#jean kirschstein#connie springer#commander erwin#eld aot#aot petra#oluo bossard#sorry i literally dont know eld and petras last name ahisa#marco bott#Mikasa Ackerman#enemies to lovers
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hey i just wanna say the long posts genuinely make my day. also can you talk more about gordon freeman character because the way you write him makes me quake in my gay little boots
i would love to talk about gordon freeman. thank u for the opportunity
the first thing i need to communicate about gordon is that this dude sucks. and i say this in the fondest way possible. he is a bitch from the moment he drops into the world until the moment he goes out. if you dont believe me, give it another watch! gordons mouthy and rude for no real reason, at least so far as “being a regular dude on his way into work” goes, and this dude goes around calling his coworkers names with zero provocation. (of course, we all know that the reason is because its a funny guy improv stream that borrows a bit from freemans mind, but im talkin from a character sense.)
but my argument isnt just that gordon freeman sucks. its that he sucks in a very specific way that i find insanely endearing. i love this dude. i love to hate him. hes awful in a very mundane sense - weve all known a guy like this, at least if youve spent too much time online - and its cathartic to watch him suffer because of it.
gordons a smart guy. as written, hes gotta be - hes a recent MIT grad, on his way to work at a top-secret research facility to do weird shit with crystals and theoretical physics. but the thing about smart guys is that theyre often......selectively intelligent. we can see this in the way that he has a hard time navigating his surroundings, and needs the science crew to guide him through it and keep him alive.
this is one of those things that is a natural consequence of somebody going through the game for the first time, but that i am interpreting as “gordon is kind of stupid sometimes”. its uncharitable but its not like he doesnt deserve it. he likes to boss around the crew as if he knows what hes doing, when he often very much does not, and is fond of demeaning their intelligence. hes real bad about this with tommy in particular, treating him like hes a kid whos playing at being a scientist when tommy is actually a decade older than him. all i am saying is that gordon ought to stay humble. hes awful cocky when he perceives himself as better than others.
which, i think, tracks with how cocky he gets when he gives up on the whole “well-meaning citizen” thing and just unloads bullets into people. he puts up a front of being a Nice Guy, you know, just some dude caught in a bad situation who doesnt like seeing his companions obliterate every NPC they come across, but that doesnt stop him from cackling like a fucking madman and mowing down aliens (and soldiers) every once in awhile. when he stops seeing himself as helpless and starts seeing himself as the one in control, the gloves come off. he gets mean. and i think thats very sexy of him
this, among other things, is why i am insistent that gordon freeman is a control freak. he desperately wants to be in control of the situation at all times, shepherding around the science crew primarily by bitching at them, but its of limited success. its futile. sisyphean. tommy, coomer, bubby, and benrey exist almost to torment him with exactly the thing that would make him suffer the most: a gaggle of people running around causing problems for him, but he cant go anywhere without them b/c hes reliant on them to make it out alive.
its perpetual suffering, and its cathartic to watch. and funny, too. and if youre a little weirdo like me, its very, very enjoyable. how twisted up he gets when nobodys listening to him! how sweaty and frazzled he must look. its cute, and it also makes me want to reach through the screen and shake him and tell him to just be a little nicer. he wants control but he doesnt know how to attain it, he doesnt know how to play nice like a real leader. i think its a neat contrast to gordon freeman as we know him in HL2, where he literally is the leader of the resistance and has to live up to it. this is gordon freeman but if he was moe through helplessness.
“helpless” is, i think, a great way to describe him. a core bit of imagery in half life is this sense of railroadedness and helplessness, with gordon freeman being put into play like a chess piece and having no choice but to move forward. and this iteration of gordon leans into that by being totally dependent on the science crew in order to make progress and Not Die. and hes also subject to the whims of benrey, local eldritch weirdo who has basically made it his life mission to fuck with gordon.
gordons anxieties dont help with that. if he wasnt so fun to stress out and fuck with, the science crew probably wouldnt do it so much! too bad for him that they like fucking with him so much that he was driven into a panic attack (multiple times, even, depending on your interpretation). hes got that real neurotic mindset. always worrying about shit that could go wrong, and attempting to exert control over his surroundings in an effort to control the anxiety.
IMO the real way to nail the Neurotic Gordon Freeman Experience is to combine the ever-present anxiety with his pervasive sense of self-loathing. he openly states that he has no friends and nobody seems to like him, and to that, i really gotta say, i wonder why. he doesnt really seem to factor in that hes kind of a bitch, and has way too high an estimation of his own intelligence relative to everybody elses. its really one of the worst ways to be: aware that people dont like you, but unaware of exactly why. if he was like, 10% nicer, he probably wouldnt have had half as many issues getting through black mesa, but also, its funny to see him squawking his way through the game. so, you know.
its stuff like that that makes me headcanon him as a dude with low self-esteem in general. convinced that hes not likable, not attractive, out of his element......impostor syndrome, except that theres some truth to it. this is a guy who truly does not realize how good he has it: he really is just an average shitty dude, and yet, somehow, benrey took a shine to him. some poor motherfucker out there actually likes him and wants to suck his dick. thats dedication
also, i keep bringing up “repression” when i talk about gordon. and hopefully, what ive been talking about helps explain why. he has a strong desire to be a regular dude, not just murdering his way through black mesa, but if hes pushed hard enough he leans into it. gets bossy. picks up a cigar off a dead soldier and takes a long drag, before smacking forzen around with a pistol and ordering him around. gordon freeman is a regular, kind of anxious guy who likes competitive swimming and streaming on justin.tv and making anime references, and he is also a guy who takes a filthy pleasure in making a trained soldier his bitch. and i didnt make up any of this shit - this is purestrain canon, baby. this is a guy with problems
to me, this screams the kind of guy who represses a lot of shit b/c he doesnt feel like its morally decent. you run into this guy a lot online: the wokeboy, the online leftist, the guy who spends too much time on social media websites. (like reddit. i think he would actively use reddit and he would never get any appreciable amount of karma but he never stops posting. its sisyphean! cathartic.) from the way he talks about “bootboys”, i think it tracks. he knows about imperialism, he knows about feminism, but at the end of the day hes your average american white dude who struggles with internalizing it.
a lot of those dudes struggle with sex and gender issues. (dont we all.) when youre trying to be a Good Person(tm), you spend a lot of time thinking about your own relationship to sex and kink and all that shit. and i maintain that a too-online dude who buries a lot of his control freak tendencies would also try to bury a lot of weird sexual shit in an attempt to seem Normal and Well-Adjusted and not like a little freak. i justify this by the sheer number of times gordon blurts out weird sex shit as a joke. there are only two outcomes to making that many piss jokes: either youre secretly a piss guy, or you lathe-of-heaven yourself into becoming one. i will stand by this
ive talked a lot about why this dude sucks. now, let me talk to you about what makes gordon so much fun to write. first things first: hes funny! a subjective evaluation, yeah, but both in- and out-of-character, hes aiming to be funny. and being the straight man to everybody else plays into that whole “helplessness” thing.
secondly: underneath it all, there is a good dude under there. gordon worries when his companions get hurt, he tries to clean them off and patch them up, and hes got his lil leftist heart in the right place. you could even read a lot of his bossy, bitchy demeanor as him wanting to make sure everyone gets out okay and doesnt hurt themselves. when it comes to animals and anti-imperialist sentiment, gordons a pretty good guy.
hes the kind of guy who would probably see a dog on the street and get excited and play with it, but would get really prickly about the correct way to put dishes in the dishwasher. control freak tendencies.
finally, subjecting such a miserable, tormented guy to even more psychological anguish is really, really fun. you feel a little bad for him, but he kind of deserves it. so many problems he goes through are purely of his own making, and if gordon would just relax and quit trying to hard to maintain control - of himself, of the people around him - and own up to having Problems and Issues, he would be a happier guy. but thats why its fun to bend him until he breaks. being a little control freak myself, putting gordon freeman thru psychosexual torment is cathartic.
when it comes to writing his thought processes, the fact that he is canonically some kind of psychotic (yes, i am boldly claiming this. suck me) and i am also canonically some kind of psychotic makes it easier to write what i think his thought processes are. i just give him my brain issues of “getting lost in thought” and “overthinking fucking everything”. a touch of paranoia helps. even if i dont explicitly label him as schizophrenic please know that i am writing him as a paranoid little nutcase at all times because, uh, you write what you know.
paranoid. anxious. of the mindset that everyones out to get him (which isnt helpful when everyone is out to get him). repressed and deeply Not Normal but trying so very fucking hard to be normal and well-adjusted. a control freak with sadistic tendencies who also really, really likes getting bullied by his best frenemy. a hapless little nerd who sounds really cute when his voice starts to break from nerves. and, most importantly, a dumb jock. do not ever forget this.
thats gordon freeman, babey. hope that helps
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A/n: Hello! Really important, before you read this, this was inspired by @negans-lucille-tblr 's Daddys Little Princess one-shot. Please read that before you read this or it won't make sense. She has many more amazing fics so read those as well. Enjoy!
*tw* sexual assault, rape
**Flash forwards 3 weeks after the original story**
It all just started as a typical night, your brothers and dad on a hunt as you sat in the freezing motel room with an involuntary shiver running down your spine.
As you lay on the couch, not able to fall asleep, watching the stupid soap opera on the black and white TV, your mind traveled and you wished it hadn't. It hadn't been long since the night you came home from a party, clearing showing signs you had had sex.
The only problem is, you don't remember it. You do however remember the fury you saw in your fathers eyes when your two brothers brought you home and he saw the state you were in. You were sure he was going to shoot you on the spot. You didnt want him to be mad at you, you hadn't even remembered the sex.
As soon as he saw you, you knew he was doing his best to keep from grabbing a knife and stabbing you. You were more scared than you've ever been in that moment because he's never been mad at you ever. To see him like that had you thinking of an escape plan. He instead decided to get the hell out of dodge.
So there you were laying in your motel room three states over, with the thinnest blanket ever. You hadn't even know you had fallen asleep until the door swung open and the lights flicked on. You covered your head with the blanket and let out an audible groan.
"Y/n? What the hell are you doing?" Your brother sam asked you.
"I was sleeping, turn off the fucking light." The absolute worst way to wake someone up was by turning on the lights.
"Y/n, language. Dean get the lights." Dean walked through the door and turned off the lights.
"Where were you guys anyway? Nothing can be open at this hour." You sat up and rubbed your eyes, stretching your back and your shirt rode up a little. You failed to realize the quickly averted eyes of sam and dean.
"Salt n burn. Quick and easy, sorry to wake you sweetheart, go back to sleep. In fact that goes for all of you." John said as he kissed your head.
"Okay daddy." You yawned as you layed down and fell asleep again.
The next morning you woke up and only sam and dean were there. "Wheres dad?" You asked as you walked into the kitchen, your shirt settling on your hips nicely.
"Coroner's office, they called and said it was urgent." You grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down next to dean.
"And you guys didn't go with him? If its urgent why wouldn't you go?" Sam shrugged.
"He said he wanted us to stay with you until you wake up. Now that your up, we have to go into town. A woman called and said her house was broken into. Figured we check it out for dad." You nodded sipping your coffee. Soon enough sam and dean left you.
"Alone, once again, oh joy." You said to yourself. You decided to take a nice long hot shower. Going to the bathroom, you turn the water on, temperature all the way up. Once your shower was over, you threw on some shorts and a hoodie. You walked out and turned on the TV, watching the film that was on.
As the hours ticked by, you hadn't heard anything from anyone. You called your dad but got no answer, called again and got no answer so decided to call dean. As his voice-mail started to play, you found it incredibly weird that no one was answering. Just then the door burst open and in walked sam and dean.
"Hey y/n, whats up?" Dean asked as he set down food on the table. Sam followed and you sighed relief.
"I called you and dad multiple times. Got no answer. Where were you all day?" You stood and walked to the table annoyed.
"Well we went to the woman's house and looked around. Guess what we found." You looked at him annoyed. "Sulfur." Your nose scrunched up.
"How? I thought dad said there was a ghost not demon." You sat down across from your brothers who were devouring their food.
"Well he must've been wrong because we went to the hospital and saw a pattern. Every victim went to the same house on the old road outside town. Dad decided to go take a look at the house." You swallowed your food.
"Again, why didn't you go with him?"
"We were hungry and he said if he needed anything he'd come get us." You nodded and finished your food. You looked outside seeing the dark sky night.
Just then, your phone buzzed multiple times. You looked at it and saw a text from someone from the school you had gone to 3 weeks prior, the one your dad fled from. It was the only person from there you still had the number of. You look at sam and dean who are looking at you.
"Apparently California has an earthquake. A news app just alerted me." You lied. They both nodded and went back to their food. A second later, the phone buzzed in your hand, not nearly as loud at the previous messages. You look at your phone and see a video from Caleb, the kid you kept the number of.
"Hey I'm gonna use the bathroom." Both of your brothers nodded. They didn't think anything of your behavior. Both of them quickly decided they would never tell a sole what they did, seeing as you didn't know anything. They were going to take the secret to their graves.
Once you got inside the bathroom, you opened the text conversation between you and Caleb. You saw three new texts with a video. The texts confused you.
There's no way this is you, right?
Did you really do that?
Im so sorry you had to see it this way.
You were so confused, you opened the video and saw something you never thought you'd ever see. It was a video of the night of the party, the night your dad took you from the town you were in. You were seen laying on the bed, your eyes closed and you saw the guy above you. You recognized him from the school and hated him instantly.
As the video played, you saw your brothers come into the room and stopped the guy, you were asleep and it was clear he was trying to take advantage of you. You saw your brothers beat the guy and kick him out of the room. You didn't think that much of it, in fact you were proud that they protected you like you knew you would protect them.
You didn't think anything of it and were about to close the video when you saw dean start touching you, in places he shouldn't.
You eyes were glued to the screen as your jaw fell open and all thoughts left your brain, except 'there's no fucking way.' You watched as sam and dean opened your legs, as dean started fingering you and as sam watched. You realized it was from a corner of the room, a security camera possibly.
When you saw dean take his dick out if his pants and move yours down, you felt tears slip down your cheeks. You kept silently begging it not to happen, but then it did. You watched as dean put his cock in your pussy and start fucking you, you saw sam watching and getting hard. You saw dean holding you down. Tears were streaming down your face and everything in you told you to turn it off, but then something even worse happened.
Dean pulled out and came on your stomach, and you saw sam hesitantly come between your legs. "No sammy," you whispered as more tears streamed down your face. You watched as sam started fucking you and moaning, seeing you laying there with no control over what was happening, you felt sick to your stomach. You watched as you started to wake up and dean held you down and you cried even more.
You watched as sam grabbed your thigh, and you looked down at your current thigh, seeing a bruise that looked like someone grabbed you. You had it since that night and then it hit you, sam gave it to you.
At this point, you turned off the video and started pacing, you were having a panic attack as you tried to disbelieve what you had just witnessed. 'There's no way, there's no way, there's no way that just happened.' But it did and you couldn't deny the gut wrenching feeling of the so dark truth you knew.
Just then, you heard a knock on the door, followed by deans voice. "Y/n, you die in there or something?" You froze, dean. The same dean that, no, that raped you. They both, truly raped you. It hit you like a freight train, your brothers, raped you. "Y/n?" He knocked again.
You took a deep breathe and tried to compose you voice. "Y-yeah, give me a sec." You said in the most wobbly, broken voice you had ever heard. You mentally cursed yourself, now he knew something was wrong. "Y/n, open the door. Now." You were shaking at how scared you were of him. "Y/n open the god damn door!" He screamed. You knew sam was next to him and were so scared by both of them. You tried your best to wipe your tears off of your face.
As you opened the door, you saw sam and dean at the threshold, staring at you. It was sam who spoke up.
"Y/n, are you okay? What happned?" He reached for your arm, which you recoiled harshly at, that certainly didn't go unnoticed by either of them. All your effort to stop the tears failed as you looked up at them.
"What did you do to me?" You whispered so quietly, they almost didn't hear you. With tears streaming down your face, you showed them your phone, the video still on your screen. Sam looked like he'd seen a ghost and dean looked like he just shit himself. As dean went to say something, the door to the motel room burst open and in came you father.
"Sam, dean, y/n, let's go. We got a house of demons outside town that need to be killed- whats going on?" He was packing his guns in a hurry but stopped when he saw the three of you frozen to the spot. Both of your brothers looked towards you.
"Nothing daddy, just cramps. Where're the demons?" He walked over to you as sam and dean walked away.
"Baby do you need to stay here? We need your help but if you can't I get it." You shook your head, tears completely gone.
"No daddy, I'm fine I promise, I can help, I want to." You needed to help your father, but you were so scared of sam and dean. He started packing his guns and you went to his truck with him. "Sam, dean follow us, come on sweetheart." As you climbed into his truck, you didn't dare look at sam and dean. They got into the impala silently as you and John left the motel.
The ride to the house was silent in johns truck. As you pulled up, he explained that there were five demons inside, the men responsible for majority, you help if you can without getting killed. The entire time you were at the house, you didn't dare be alone or near sam and dean. Fear of them was constant on your mind, but you needed to help your dad so you tried to not think about it.
Sneaking around the back alone, you saw a demon alone watching through a window. You took your chance and threw holy water on it, instantly burning it as it looked towards you. You started fighting the demon and were winning until John, Sam, and dean came around the back after killing the others. Dean and sam took care of the demon as John rushed to you, checking you for wounds.
When sam and dean killed the demon, you kept your gaze on John, not looking at sam and dean, who shared a glance, remembering your encounter with them.
You got back in johns truck as you watched in the rear view mirror as dean got into the impala. John started the truck and you all went back to the motel. Before the trucks engine even died down, you were at the motel door heading straight to the bed. You layed down as the three men entered.
"Y/n? You okay sweetheart?" John asked. You didn't look at anything besides the wall in front of you.
"Yeah, daddy, I'm fine, just tired, gonna go to sleep." You shut your eyes and heard them shuffle around for about 10 minutes. You of course did not see the way sam and dean were looking at each other. Eventually they went to sleep at which point, you got up and started packing your bag, so hurriedly, you for sure grabbed something that wasn't yours. You looked at your phone and decided against it, knowing they could track you from it.. You didn't know where you were going or how you were gonna get there, but you just knew, you had to get away from sam and dean before they try to rape you again. You were guided solely by fear.
You knew you couldn't leave from the front door, you didn't want to be tracked at all and figured someone might see you. You didn't leave a note or anything, you grabbed your bag, and a wad of about five hundred dollars and went to the bathroom. You shut the door, opened the window and climbed out.
You walked across the street to the gas station, looking at a clock seeing it was about 2 am. You looked around hoping for someone or something to get you out of town and away from sam and dean. You could feel the tears streaming down your face and heard a car pull up next to you.
Some blonde guy reached over the seat and opened the door. "Hey, you look like you could use a ride." You looked around one last time, at dads truck, at the impala and at the motel and climbed in. "Yeah, thank you."
You said wiping a stray tear. "Where you heading?" You sniffled.
"Anywhere, I don't care, just anywhere but here." With that the car started up and you drove into the night, feeling a little easier knowing that sam and dean would never find you again. You didn't care if they would be worried or if they thought a monster had got you. You knew now that you were going to be okay, Sam and dean would never see you again.
Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it, again this was inspired by @negans-lucille-tblr 's post so go look at her page, she has amazing fics and is an amazing writer.
#supernatural#spn#sam winchester#dean winchester#john winchester#winchester boys#winchester sister#sam winchester x y/n#sam winchester x reader#dean winchester x female!reader#dean winchester x you#dean winchester x reader#supernatural angst#spn angst#winchester angst#winchester sibling
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Ok I’ll spar you guys the million screenshots!
RAE IS MAKING A MINI STORY ON THIS! Cause just cause i was bored doesn’t mean you guys have to be ill post the picture of the summary at the end
TW: death stuff, this is Danganronpa simulation by the way
Chapter 1:
The motive was freedom, the first blackened, if they can get away, they’ll be able to walk away, into the outside world. Of course, all you got to do is kill and be free, easy right?
It didn’t take long for Coleman to go mad. Just kill one person and he can leave right? Sam was alone, he can went off the explore the area they were stuck in.
It was too easy. Too easy. All it took was one clean hit to the temple, and Sam was dead. He did it. He could leave now? Right?
A body has been discovered. 
Clark screamed, seeing his brother dead on the ground. Makoto wrapped his arms around Clark tightly, he didn’t expect a murder so soon. Coleman just looked at them and laughed. He could le-
No one ever said anything about a trail. The trail...how could Coleman even defend himself? Clark and Makoto saw him over Sam’s body. It didn’t take long for the votes to be casted, as Coleman was dragged out of the room to his doomed faith.
Chapter 2:
The motive was revenge. There were a few people here who had bad blood against each other.
Liu’s eye flickered to Dorothy, that woman, costs him many things. His plan was simple, such a poor weak looking woman would not stand a chance against him.
His kill would be brutal, he wanted her to pay.
Late that night, Liu walked quietly up behind Dorothy, who was alone in the rec room. Her headphones blocked out any noises. Just as he raised the knife to kill, a body tackled him.
Shi Won Kim. The two wrestle for the knife. Dorothy took over her headphones and spun around alarm to see them fighting.
“DOROTHY!! RUN!” Was the last words like left Shi Won’s mouth when a knife was plunged through her heart.
Dorothy let out a heartbroken scream. Watching as Liu continued to stab at Won’s body. Even though Dorothy wasn’t his kill, this woman under him also screwed him over.
Dorothy darted out the room screaming still, her screams carrying down the hall to the others.
A body has been discovered
The trail was quick, Dorothy was still sobbing. It should have been her. It should have been her. Liu cursed Dorothy out as he was dragged away to his await punishment.
Chapter 3:
The motive was obsession. It was no surprise Ishigami had some admiration obsession with Akemi. It was no surprise Akemi had the obsession of keeping Makoto as her own. Despite knowing he was against her, Akemi still, chose to give Makoto her full attention.
Akemi spent whatever time she could with Makoto. Makoto would only go with her cause he knew she would not back down until he said yes.
Over the pass few days, they actually grew sort of close. Oz hated it. Seeing the way that woman laid her hands on his son. The way she called him son, telling him to call her mom. It hurt to see that Makoto did prefer Akemi over him.
Akemi could see the way Oz would look at them. She won’t have it. She won’t have this man take her son. Ishigami, would do anything for Akemi. Anything. She told him to prove his loyalty. Kill Oz.
Need say more? Ishigami followed Oz until he saw the perfect moment. The training room, Ishigami used a cord from the rec room, and choked Oz out. He watch in pleasure as Oz’s face turned blue. The last sight Ishigami saw was Oz’s body going limp, before a forced behind him broke his neck.
Two bodies have been discovered
The trail, Makoto couldn’t help but cry, he had regret. He didnt think Oz would be a victim of this game. Sure Makoto held a grudge against him, but seeing another parent dead, Oz actually being dead, it hurt. Akemi was in the hotbox. It wasn’t a secret she wanted Makoto to herself
Akemi admitted she did ask for Oz to be killed, but Ishigami she didn’t know.
Everyone stood conflicted, couldn’t they even trust this woman? She just admitted she asked for Oz to be killed. Abby sighed heavily and raised her arms up.
“It was me...”
Abby thought she could have saved Oz in time, she figured it was worth dying if she could save him. But she failed.
Makoto broke down more, not Abby.
Abby walked towards the three other members of Team Confidence. Laurent, Cynthia, and Makoto. The four of them shared a tight hug, the three of them holding Abby tightly and close. It didn’t take long for the tears to start pouring, from all four of them. Abby started to sobbed, hugging the three tighter
“Thank you....for making my life worth living..”
Abby walked willing to her execution, waving a sad goodbye to her family. (Hello I’m crying now )
Chapter 4:
The motive was lovers sickness. Being so close together for a long time sparks love between a few people.
Dorothy still heartbroken over Shi Won, Laurent dreaded over Abby’s execution. The two pervious lovers, started to lean on each other for comfort.
Clark tried his best to comfort Makoto. He hated seeing the man spending his days looking like a shell of a person.
Clark made it his mission to take care of Makoto. And to as far as starting to sleep in Makoto’s room at night. It didn’t take long, Clark..loved him. He loved Makoto. He loved him so so so so so much. His Makoto.
Over the pass few days, Makoto being to become himself again. He knew Abby and Oz would want him to keep fighting. He was going to survive for them.
Makoto went to go see how Laurent was holding up. During his time with Dorothy, Laurent learned the feeling he had for her were long gone. However, Dorothy had started falling for the Belgian man during their time together. Laurent smiled as Makoto walked up to him.
The two men hugged each other, both taking a deep breathe. Losing Abby hurt, but they will get out of this for her. Makoto melted into Laurent’s arms, as Laurent held him close. It wasn’t much, just a peck of the head. Laurent pressed his lips against Makoto’s forehead, feeling the small man melt even more into his arms
Clark felt his blood boil from a distance. How. Dare. He. Try. To. Take. His. Makoto?
That night, Laurent was heading to Dorothy’s room to talk to her about how he felt towards her. As he open the door he was me at by a horrible sight.
Dorothy’s body swung back and forth, strung up by her neck on the ceiling fan. Blood dripping from her mouth, the room was trashed like there was a struggle.
Laurent fell to his knees shaking. Not Dorothy too..
Clark busted out of the bathroom holding a bat.
Laurent and Dorothy hung side by side. Clark smiled at his work, leaving a note on the nightstand. Lovers suicide, surely everyone would believe it.
Two bodies have been discovered
Clark held Makoto during the trail. It was a suicide what are they suppose to do?
“Suicide?” Casano shook his head “its more like a homicide”
Salazar nodded in an agreement. The two men had been in a messy business long enough to know when someone was covering up a murder with a suicide. So they did have a killer. But who?
Clark couldn’t contain his laughter. Oh. He had fail. How...interesting.
“YOU COULDNT JUST LET IT HAPPEN HUH?!” Clark snapped at the two men.
Makoto’s eyes widen as he pulled himself away from Clark. “Clark-“
“What? Oh baby..” Clark smiled at him sweetly “don’t be so scared, I did it for you. For us! Don’t you get it?! Laurent was in the way of us! And I couldn’t risk his little girlfriend seeing me killing him! So I took care of her first!!”
Makoto stared into horror. This...wasn’t the Clark he knew.
Clark was dragged away to his punishment, he kept yelling for Makoto.
“Baby! I did it for you!! Please! Come on! Baby! ANSWER ME!!!”
Makoto ran to Cynthia’s arms for comfort. The redhead covered his ears to block out Clark’s yells.
Clark died with a sickness, but they never knew what that sickness was.
Chapter 5
There was no motive involve this time. Sometimes a killing really is an accident.
Cynthia and Yao were auguring by a flight of stairs. It was getting heated. Kudo overheard and went to investigate. He tried to make himself the medium. He knew he had to calm them down, cause to things got messy, Cynthia didn’t stand a chance against Yao.
The fighting got worst, as Yao got in her face, Cynthia scratched his face with her nails. The man screamed in pain and walked backwards holding his face. Before he was warned, he felt his foot fall.
The big man fell down the stairs. Now a fall down the stairs can’t kill you, unless you land on your neck just right. That was the case for Yao. The man laid at the bottom of the long flight, with a broken neck.
Cynthia started shaking. She killed him. She killed him. And now. Oh god. She’s next.
Kudo tried to calm her down. Maybe they Can reason, it was an accident! She didn’t mean too. Kudo grabbed her by her hands and lead her to the kitchen. Some tea would calm her down.
Two bodies had been discovered.
Makoto felt sick during the trail. They had found both Yao at the bottom of the stairs and Cynthia in the kitchen dead. Thomas was quiet the whole time, staring at the ground.
Just as they began the discussion, Kudo confessed.
“I’m sorry...”
Kudo explained, he knew Cynthia would have faced a horrible death. He knew she was scared. He knew there was no way around it. He wanted to lead her out of this world in peace. A poison of the tea, nothing painful. She fell sleepily and that was that. She went out in peace.
Makoto wanted to be angry, but at the same time...Kudo was taking Cynthia’s place in a horrible death.
Kudo smiled cheerily as he was lead out to his doom.
Chapter 6
It was a homestretch, the motive was given to one person, and it was self driven. It was looking they were going to make it out of here. Right?
Thomas couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to be alive anymore. He thought he could make it out of here, but after seeing Cynthia dead...something pushed him over the edge.
The next few days, Thomas begged someone to kill him. He wanted to die, he couldn’t go through with suicide, so he needed someone to kill him. Salazar tried to smack the man straight
“Would Cynthia want to see you like this.? She want you to live”
“Cynthia........please...just...I want to see her again”
Thomas’ wish was granted.
A body has been discovered
Thomas laid bleeding on the ground. His head was broken open, a bloody bat next to him.
The trail was tense. There was so little people.
Makoto looked around and scanned the faces. Everyone suspected everyone.
“I’m sorry....”
Makoto bowed “I just granted him his wish...does that really make me a horrible killer..?”
Akemi screamed, no no no no, not her son. Not him. Not him. Not him.
Salazar looked at the young man..disappointed.
Casano huffed and shook his head “a killer is a killer..but...I guess some killing can be just”
Makoto stood up “I....I’m sorry...I...” he looked up “just want to see everyone again...” a sad smile spread across his face. “When you guys get out of here...make sure a sick game like this never happens again..”
A motive was the chance to see everyone again...but there was a price.
Makoto slowly walked to his death. Akemi tried to run after him, but was held back by Salazar.
When Makoto took his last breath, a door the three had never seen opened.
It was over......but why did they be the ones to survive?
Why couldn’t...at least Makoto survived?
#great pretender#the great pretender#grepre#makoto edamura#laurent thierry#edamura makoto#great pretender anime#abigail jones#cynthia moore#abby jones#dorothy great pretender#seiji ozaki#shi won kim#kudo great pretender#clark ibrahim great pretender#sam ibrahim great pretender#DV simulation#this basically turned into a mini fanfic
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OK GONNA GRIPE!! Everyone in the world (like 5-6 people) said im allowed to and encouraged me but honestly most of my gripes are Bakugo as a character so I’ll try a little fix it... it will be under the cut.
BUT GRIPES-
The Sports Festival. I loved it... I thought it was great with some exceptions-
Bakugo v Uraraka is the most obvious example of Horikoshi bending characters to make Bakugo seem better than he is. Literally the whole festival no one says shit about the female contestants, its not a plot point, no ones bothered when Tokoyami vs Momo happens but Bakugo fights Uraraka and the whole ass stadium starts running their mouths about Bakugo being kind of an asshole and being mean to Uraraka cuz shes a soft girl even though shes holding her own and Momo panicked and lost in a sad way.
Bakugo attacked Shouto after knocking him out but he doesnt get disqualified. Even if Horikoshi wanted to set up the LoV targeting him he coulda just had them see the footage of Bakugo attacking Todo and his reaction to disqualification and figuring that hed be more willing to turn coat.
The relationships with Endeavor with Shoto and All Might is one of those things that seems like its going to be a set up for something... But never goes anywhere. All Might hadnt spoke to Endeavor for years before that moment when he asks Endeavor for advice on how to train kids because he was impressed with Shoutos performance but Endeavors like ‘I’ll turn him into someone who can surpass you thats why I MADE HIM‘ and All Mights like ‘wtf? wat‘ but it goes no where...
//end Sports festival kinda...
I have so many issues with how Horikoshi built Shouto as a character to be like on the same level as Deku and Bakugo but hes not apart of that group. Their connection as kids is All Might... Shouto should have learned about one for all and the three of them should grow together more.
IDKY Shouto has this past where All Might is his hero, hes one of the big three, but hes excluded.
All im saying is Shouto (and honestly Bakugo) could have used a lot more screen time.
----
During the training camp arc Tokoyami loses control of his Quirk and almost kills a handful of his classmates and is also grabbed by the LoV with Bakugo... and it NEVER COMES UP AGAIN.
Of course the traitor plot line thats ignored for a million years only to be brought up again just to say it never actually mattered... is another one of those ‘This was a good set up for something and you did nothing with it...‘ situation. I still think Kouda is possible. Theres no reason the Principal is an animal... theres no reason why Kouda could be able to pass the entrance exam where Shinso couldnt they basically have the same Quirk. Kouda is quiet and unassuming and he can communicate very easily in secret and could theoretically control Nezu and make him say shit like ‘Theres no war in Ba Sing Se‘ and everyone would just accept it.... But like its been so long why even bother... itd be weird.
Honestly Shinsos whole... thing is also weird. But he was brought back for... like no real pay off. His tragic story doesnt even make sense... people mocking him for having a ‘villains’ Quirk... this is similar to the Bakugo/Uraraka thing. Because thats not a thing... we dont see that literally anywhere else. I mean Shouji mentions that people think his face is a little scary but thats it. There are pros with scary Quirks and even scarier looks, Tokoyami has a literal sentient DARKNESS living in him and a bird face.... but Shinso has problems? Really.
The same can be said about the CRC. Theres a whole hate group youve created to bring up to make Spinner a little more sympathetic but its never been mentioned before or since even though there are characters in the main crew with animal/creature characteristics. Again Tokoyami is right there.
Kirishima is a weird character to have made as prominent as he is because hes got literally no connection to the main story. Shouto shoulda had his screentime. I love Kirishima and his little story with Fatgum and fighting that big bitch was fucking bitchin... but like? Why Kirishima... also whats with Crimson Riot? What does he or Kirishima have to do with anything.
Shouto has the connections. It shoulda been Shouto.
How the fuck did Hawks get away with tricking the LoV with a fake body of Best Jeanist? Why not just have Hawks kill him... it makes more sense and it helps build a case for the corrupt hero society(or at least the higher ups) a little if theyre willing to kill one of their own. I like Best Jeanist but its fucking weird.
And Ive already bitched enough about the corruption of hero society and the lack of evidence story-wise...
I genuinely thought something would go down with Tensei because him being attacked made no sense even though Stain is shown to be very consistent in his belief to the point of endangering himself as shown when he literally went out of his way to save Deku. So why the fuck did he attack Tensei when everything weve seen of the guy is just a good, considerate, selfless hero.
He could have also been used to set up the corruption BUT NOTHING COMES OF IT.
And I mean like some of this stuff could come up later... but its been drawn out so long its weird... a lot of this shit would likely have a continuous direct effect on the story at large if Horikoshi just didnt... ignore it.
NOW BAKUGO. But because everyone knows I hate him Im gonna put my money where my mouth is and try to make him a little better... Cuz hes fucking garbage.
OK First up... Keep him exactly how he is until this moment exactly-
This is the worst moment for me with Bakugo because I thought he looked like that because he was shocked at himself for doing something so fucked up.
Cuz he does want to be a hero and he looks up to All Might.
So after this moment he dials it back a little on the douchebaggery.... hes sorta more distant and still kind of a jerk but but hes more avoiding Deku/conflict until we get to the Sports Festival!
He cant help himself hes competitive and aggressive and the steeper the competition gets the more he falls back into being that hyper aggressive violent person he wants to not be.
The Sports Festival goes as expected and its not until after and he sees himself that he gets uncomfortable again and tries to mellow out again.
Then the practical exam happens and hes paired with Deku but instead of being needlessly antagonistic they actually DO work together... they can bicker and have different ideas of how to win but then get desperate by the end and actually work together cuz THIS-
WAS SO SHITTY. It didnt need to happen. Also earlier when Bakugo is being an asshole in class Aizawa fully acknowledges Bakugo going down a dark path... and does like nothing about it... (You cant really blame him... Baku gets away with everything.)
ANYWAYS. So they reluctantly work together and work well together... Bakugo still feels kinda shitty and annoyed that Deku is at his level..
-
When Bakugo gets snatched by the LoV I think could REALLY be the biggest turning point...
Instead of Bakugo just continuing on like he does maybe this would be a great moment for him to realize that dark path hes been on. The Villains speak to him and theyre like ‘youd be a great villain‘ and its like that scene in Dr Who when Nine flips out and screams at the last Dalek tells it to go and die... and the Dalek goes ‘Youd make a good Dalek‘ which just gut punches him.
Its like that Bakugo thinks about the shits hes been doing after the villains think they can convince him to join them, he thinks about All Might and his life long dream to be a hero and hes disturbed that he COULD be a villain.
They take off the cuffs... he attacks them as per usual but its not with that cocky attitude.
///Bakugo gets saved
He thanks Kirishima... and thanks the others. It can be a cute moment GDI!
The fight between Bakugo and Deku could be Bakugo asking Deku to spar. Thats what he wants. He wants to test the both of them and Deku agrees so when Aizawa gets pissed at them both ITS DESERVED instead of Aizawa punishing Deku for defending himself.
And that can still be the moment Bakugo has his little breakdown and blaming himself for All Mights retirement.
And then just go from there... Bakugos character development coulda been smooth
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Why Are You Here?
Part 2:
The air in the room seemed to grow very thick as the two brothers stared at each other neither really believing what they saw.
For Diago he was seeing a face he had long since assumed was gone forever, a brother that abandoned them and left a hole in their family that was never to be filled again.
For Five he was realising he had gone much further forwards then he ever imagined. It made him feel both excited and honestly terrified at his own power. How could he come so far without even realising it?
The silence dragged on, neither wanting to break the fragile composure they currently had.
Thankfully it wasn't left to the brothers to take the first step but instead a nurse who awkwardly knocked on the door carrying a tray of food.
“I hope i'm not interrupting” she cleared her throat shifting under the pair of eyes that snapped towards her. “The doctor said he will be needing something to eat.”
Diago looked to his brother, however fucking crazy this current situation was the ratinal part of his brain knew that whatever questions he had (and there was a shit ton of them) could wait until after Five didnt look like he was about ready to pass out.
Five stared at the woman not saying anything as she placed the tray onto his lap and shuffled out with an uncomfortable smile.
Diago sighed and leaned back in his chair waiting for Five to hurry up and eat so he could finally start to figure out what the hell was going on.
But as seconds ticked by Five remained perfectly still staring down at the boxes of food letting his dark hair fall onto his face.
At first Diago thought maybe being down a working arm was getting in the way and Five was just too stubborn to ask for help…
But then a cold realisation settled in his stomach as he watched Five cautiously poke the container of jello.
He didn't know what was in front of him and he didn't know it was safe.
Diago escaped his fucked up family home over a decade ago but it looked like Five had only just left.
Wordlessly Diago took one of the sandwiches from the tray and took a bite. He hated doing this, showing his own brother that it was safe to eat and that it wouldn't hurt him.
The worst part was that it was working, Five ripped off a small piece of the bread and began to slowly eat.
Bit by bit they continued this, with Diago tasting first then letting Five finish the rest until the tray was clean save for a few crumbs and empty packets.
Everything about Five was skittish and untrusting, it hurt to see honestly. In Diagos mind Five was always so big and strong abel to stand up to Dad when no one else could.
Now though, seeing him though his adult eyes Diago could see what he really was. And that was a worryingly skinny and hurt kid.
An abused child that wanted so desperately to protect his siblings that he made himself the target.
How could Diago ever think he willingly left them?
“What year is it?”
Five was so quiet Diago almost thought he imagined him talking.
“What?” he asked, swallowing the lump in his throat that had formed over the last few minutes.
“What year is it Number Two.” Five said louder this time.
“2018… October to be exact you just missed our birthday.”
Five nodded solomly “ok. Ok i can work with this, i just have to go back and…” he trailed off looking down at his damaged body.
His arm was currently in a white cast carefully held close to his chest in a sling. Diago assumed his leg was similarly encased in plaster hidden under the thin blanket.
Five swallowed nervously, his eyes skittering across his injuries finally realising just how bad it all is.
Diago decided now was the time to step in.
“Five what's the last thing you remember?”
He looked down at his free hand for a moment. “I was fighting with Dad at dinner, I wanted to time travel but he said I wasn't ready. I ran out and i did it… but then nothing.”
“Yeah that would be you getting hit by a car. You appeared in the middle of the road. Considering how fast the guy was going, you're lucky to be alive.”
“Lucky?” Five turned to glare at Diago in a way that sent flashes of nostalgia and also made him wonder how he ever found tiny Five intimidating.
“How can I be lucky when I'm stuck useless in bed until I can teleport again? Time travel was hard enough to do with all working limbs; it's practically impossible now.” Five pulled at his hair.
He was clearly frustrated but something felt off to Diago.
While he didnt understand time travel the same way his brother did then surely it didn't matter when he left he would end up exactly when he left. The only problem was Diago knew Five never made it back home.
Did that mean his brother is going to die here? Or maybe decide to stay?
He knew which he would prefer, even without the morbid possibility Diago would want him to stay, Reginald was a monster and Five was his favourite punching bag.
It was something Diago never really noticed until his brother was gone and that buffer zone they grew up with was ripped away.
Diago took a deep calming breath “look, like it or not you're stuck here for a while. You can either mope around the whole time or enjoy the future. You can even stay with me so you don't have to deal with Dad.”
Fives brow creased “you don't live at home anymore?”
“Five im almost 30, only Luthers stayed at home and even he ended up leaving a few years ago.” Diago rolled his eyes watching as the wheels in Fives head turned.
“Who’s Luther?” He asked confused.
Shit. Diago compleatly forgot about the name thing.
“Mom gave us normal names as a 16th birthday gift, One is Luther I’m Diago, Three is Allison, Four is Klaus, Six wa- is Ben and Seven is Vanya.”
God that reminded him Five didn’t know about Ben.
How the hell was he supposed to tell him his brother died only a year after getting his name?
Thankfully he was saved from having to worry about it for the moment because Patch walked in carrying two large disposable cups of coffee.
“So you're awake then” she smiled thankfully saving Diago from explaining the fact Luther is living on the moon while he rents a boiler room.
Five glared at her “who are you?”
She placed the coffee down to remove her badge and show it to him “I'm a police officer, I was the one to find you and call Diago. Are you up to answering some questions?” She asked clearly, having no idea what she had just walked into.
“What kind of questions?” Five asked suspiciously. They had always been trained to distrust the police, to never tell them what was going on at home and well… Diago realised why once he left home and found it wasn't normal for a kid to be held underwater so long they realised they could breathe the stuff.
“I just want to know your name and if there's a parent or guardian i can call. I saw your tattoo but i still need to hear it from you so i can release you into Diego's care if you want.”
Diago had always been impressed with how she handled herself around victims.
Diago was all sharp edges and quick words never really bothering to comfort while he got information.
It wasn't that he was uncaring, he just always figured the best way to help someone was to get the bastard that hurt them in the first place.
Five just glared at her, his annoying stubborn streak flaring up at the worst possible moment.
“His names Five and he is my brother” Diago supplied, earning the glare turned on him instead for his betrayal.
“Five as in…”
“Yeah one and same. Look Patch I need you to do something for me. You need to make this case disappear, don't let the driver report anything and don’t leave a paper trail” Diago asked standing up, taking the cups from her and placing them down on the bow empty seat and leading her away to the corner of the room.
“Dad is well connected and richer than God, if he finds out Five is here he will take him legal or not”
“I can’t just make the kid disappear” she replied chewing her lip as she glanced over at Five watching them with annoyance. “I’ll keep the tattoo quiet but anything else is a crime.”
Diago smiled, honestly it was more then he was expecting “thanks, I owe you one.”
“By my count it’s more like ten” she snarked back lightly punching him in the shoulder.
As her touch lingered on his arm Diago couldn’t help but wonder if something was still there.
If he could just tell her he still loves her maybe things could go back to how they were.
Then a empty chips packet hit the back of his head and the magical moment that held the potential to fix his relationship was broken.
“Quit talking about me like I’m not here!” Five snapped getting ammo ready for another throw.
Patch just chuckled “oh yeah you two are definitely related”.
She stepped away from Diago and sat on the edge of Fives bed handing him a business card. “If you need anything I want you to call me ok?”
Five turned the piece of card over in his hand sceptically “and who are you exactly?”
“I’m someone you can trust.”
Five responded with a snort.
This time Diago couldn’t blame him, Reginald had a way of taking any trust you had and step on it. There was a time in his life where he trusted his family with his life.
Then after Ben died and everyone left one by one that unbreakable bond he had relied on for years shattered.
Diago half expected Five to spit in her face, instead he looked to him and Diago realised that the relationship his siblings had was still alive and well to Five.
It was a new kind of terror to realise a child trusted you enough to look for your guidance, he wanted Diago to give him the right answer.
The Five who had always been so sure of himself, who would lead his siblings in a way no one else could, who in his arrogance acted like the smarter person in the room and everyone knew it was true… he wanted his big brother to tell him if it was safe to trust a stranger.
A police detective too.
It was weird, but then again what about this situation wasn’t?
As if he were just testing the waters Diago gave a tiny almost missable nod.
And just like that Five relaxed and tucked the card safely into his arms cast.
“While I can’t see myself ever needing help from the likes of you I’ll accept the offer” Five huffed.
“In case you're curious that’s the closest to thank you your gonna get”
Patch just chuckled again “well your very welcome then.” She glanced over at Diago before returning her attention to Five “I’ve got to head to work now but please might or day if you need help please call.”
This time Five only nodded which was good enough for Patch as she got up to leave.
“Oh Diago one more thing.”
“Yeah?”
She tossed him a small wad of cash that Diago didn’t want to know how she got.
“Buy the kid some clothes and some real food. And Raw eggs don’t count.”
With that she was gone leaving the brothers once again in an awkward silence.
“Your girlfriends weird.”
“Shut up” Diago grumbled as he went to find whoever the hell it was that could discharge Five and he could get him home.
——————
It took three separate doctors to finally find one that was willing to release Five into his care.
Even then there was a pile of paperwork to fill out.
It was worth it though as soon as he got Five into a wheelchair and saw him visibly relax upon finding out they were getting out of there.
As suspected his leg was in a cast up to the knee. Something Diago was almost thankful for considering the little shit tried to wheel himself away while he was wrapping things up with a nurse.
Something told him if he could walk there was no way he would have caught up with him.
It was an uncomfortable drive back, mainly because Five had to half lay out on the back seat to fit his leg in.
Even trying to hide the pain he was in Diago heard every sharp intake of breath he made anytime the car went over a bump in the road.
The worst part however was when they got to the boxing club and Five raised an eyebrow.
“The old man fall on hard times or something?”
“No, dad doesn’t pay for my apartment this is… temporary until I can find a better place”
Like he’d been telling himself for the last three years, he was just looking for something better…
“It looks like a dump” Five grunted as his chair was pushed over the threshold.
“Better than the academy let me tell you that”
Thankfully Five didn’t try to argue after that and instead focused on taking in the gym.
However the world had a way of always pissing on Diego's parade as Al spotted the two of him.
“Diego! You piece of shit you were supposed to mop the floors today!” He yelled scurrying over. He looked like he was about to co tinge when he saw Five.
“Who’s the kid.”
“The kid can talk.” Five growled.
“He’s my brother, I just picked him up from the hospital. Look I know it’s a lot to ask but do you mind if he stays a while. Just till I can set us up somewhere permanent.”
They both knew Diego wasn’t going anywhere. He had been saying the same line every couple months for years now.
“I’ll see if there’s another cot spare” he replied wavin them off.
Al didn’t know everything about Diego’s past, he made sure of that, but he knew his family life was bad.
If he wanted to put two and two together about why Diego was now bringing a never before mentioned younger brother home from the hospital he wasn’t about to stop him.
“Thanks Al.”
“Yeah yeah, just don’t forget to mop!”
Diego snorted. They both knew he had more important things to do now.
He wheeled Five into the boiler room choosing to ignore the multiple snarky comments of the places appearance, smell and overall shabbiness in favour of dumping him next to the bed.
“Bathrooms there, kitchen, tv and bed everywhere else”
“Nice to see the old man was wrong about us not needing him” Five mumbled.
God yet another thing Reginald has always held over their heads.
The idea that if they left they would have nothing and no one…
Was he really wrong on this one?
Hell if it weren’t for Patch and Al, Diego would have nothing but a box of cold pizza to offer Five.
“It might not be the Ritz but it’s warm and dry and far away from Dads bullshit.”
“I imagine Number three had a lot to say about the decor” Five said as he picked up a pair of discarded shorts and dropped them again in disgust.
“Allison hasn’t exactly seen the place.”
Five nodded “I guess if you're not planning to stay long you really don’t want to give her ammunition like this.”
Man this was going to be tough.
“Actually Five we don’t really-“
A knock at the door cut him off.
It couldn’t be Al already, but it’s not like anyone else would be there.
Cautiously he opened the door the find a ‘Hello’ tattooed hand shoved through the gap.
“Do me a favour dear brother mine and let me in. I’m in desperate need of a shower”
Diego groaned as he opened the door to Klaus “it really isn’t a good time right now.”
“It never is for you” Klaus teased as he shoved his way in “just because you like to spend your nights clad in leather and climbing through strangers windows”
“Seriously not now” Diego tried to block his view but it was too late.
The plastic bag filled with all Klaus owned in the world was dropped to the floor and his already pale skin dropped a few more shades.
“D-do you see a little number Five or is it just me?”
Five turned to see him blinking in surprise “number Four?”
Diego sighed, clamping a hand on Klaus’ shoulder “he’s here Klaus and he’s alive.”
#umbrella academy#number five#Diego Hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#five hargreeves#angst#fanfiction#part 2#whump#time travel au
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i’ve been marathoning the harry potter movies since im in quarantine and i’ve been taking some notes. i’ll post them all bc why not
sorcerer’s stone
harry knowing that there’s no post on sunday,, a genius
hedwig’s theme playing when harry looks out of the window and sees an owl flying by, very nice
hagrid doing magic at the house on the rock thing,, wouldnt the ministry be able to track that?? since there’s no wizard that lives there, they should be alerted?? or did they remove the trace from hagrid once he got expelled?? like does it work by the trace only or? bc if it doesn’t work by location then how would they know that a muggle witnessed the magic?? idk anymore
the kids staring at the nimbus 2000 and saying its the fastest model yet,, then the camera zooming on the handle w/ the background blurred -> the most straight forward foreshadowing
hagrid is actually the worst person to take harry on his tour situation,, like bro literally left him in the middle of a train station
the weasleys and harry going to the platform while theres a shit ton of ppl walking around,,, statute of secrecy where??
the great hall is on the first floor?? i thought it was on the ground floor
ew the hats
i wish the movies had dumbledore’s weird few words speeches
“theres not one witch or wizard that went bad that wasnt in slytherin” broooo
mcgonagall is so savage i love her
snape is an asshole
a crap ton of chessboards in the great hall study hall scene,, foreshadowing the challenges?
madam hooch really yeeted herself out of neville’s way
���🥰 oliver wood 🥰✨✨
harry really wiped the troll buggers on his robe,, disgusting
snapes hair is lowkey on fleek tho,,
making most of the slytherins ugly bc they’re the “evil” house is just a disservice to all the inbreeding
hermione setting snape on fire is truly iconic and very extra tbh like sis why tf would u know a spell like that
seasonal transition wasnt that great tbh
overall the directing style is kinda basic
“not in the restricted section,,” rule breaking hermione is the best hermione
dumbledore’s handwriting is so extra and loopy like tf?? but it fits his character
the hedwig flying season transition was good
“immortal?” “it means you’ll never die.” “i know what it means!”
50 points each for being out of bed??? wtf is this point system
filtch saying there’s werewolves in the forbidden forest,,, thats illegal sir
hagrid calling the trio by their first names but draco by his last,, we love favoritism
harry’s thoughts r so ridiculous,, “snape doesnt want the stone for himself, he wants it for voldemort!” lmaoo wtf,, evidence pls sir,, u don’t even know he was a death eater. was it the bad vibes?? bc same
harry figuring out that the person who gave hagrid the dragon egg is voldy,, a genius
“kill us faster?? now i can relax!!” ron is so iconic i love him
“lucky we didnt panic!” “lucky hermione pays attention in herbology”
how is it that harry’s hand burned quirrel but not the skin on harry’s neck?? that shit makes no sense
yeah i really cant imagine this dumbledore fighting voldy in movie 5
hermione’s headband in the reunion scene is so cute i love it
chamber of secrets:
how is dobby even allowed to just jump on the bed?? like is it bc harry isnt his master that he can do smth like that
“dobby has heard about harry potter’s kindness” or whatever,, bro u work for the malfoys either the elves gossip or draco is waxing poetry about harry
aunt petunia saying “we have ice-cream” after that whole affair is just ridiculous
DIAGONALLY
this seems like the extended version bc i dont remember the borgin and bruks scene to be that long
the close ups with lucius and ginny’s books r insane lmao like chris columbus made it so obvious
also mr weasley’s acting is so funny like its so exaggerated
lucius malfoy is so dramatic and extra we love it
also lucius knowing hermione’s name and “draco’s told me all about you”??? bro whats with draco?? lmaoo
snape really got mad with the whole car business
mandrakes r fucking weird bro how did jkr come up with that
PERCY WALKING WITH PENELOPE CLEARWATER??? HOW DID I MISS THAT??
omg colin had so many lines?? wow
omg erol with the fucking howler,, iconic
ron’s facial expressions?? pure comedy, rupret is so good
LOCKHEART REALLY SAID “GOOD GIRL” THEN WINKED AT HERMIONE
��pesky piksy pescinomy” this bitch dumb
“why is it always me?” poor neville
omfg ✨🥰 oliver wood 🥰✨
ahh using the seeker position for fighting
ew draco used the m-word
the shit the basilisk is saying is so lame lmaoo
how does harry not recognize that he’s hearing a different language?? or does parsaltongue act weird
HOW IS THE WHOLE SCHOOL IN THE SAME CORRIDOR???
“i know the counter-curse that could’ve spared her” bitch the dirty looks he got?? omfg
the movies would’ve been 500% better if they had lee jordan’s iconic quidditch commentary
“scarhead” “TRAINING FOR THE BALLET, POTTER?”
“what did you expect?? pumpkin juice??” madam pomfery is a queen
dobby is dumb dumb
“who am i, hedwig? what am i?”
“reading? i didnt know you could read?”
“look at my face” “look at your tail!”
“you can’t cancel quidditch!”
“oh harry, if you die down there, you’re welcome to share my toilet”
lockheart: do you live here? ron: no *smacks him in the head with a rock*
“voldemort is my past, present and future” are all slytherins this dramatic??
the tension between hermione and ron in the last feast was insane
justin filtch fletchy is so ugly im so sorry i cant
prisoner of azkaban:
im sorry but harry doing underage illegal magic pisses me off every time
aunt marge 🤢
“do they use a cane boy?” “oh yeah, i’ve been beaten loads of times”
that whole scene is so chaotic
“you cant do magic outside of school!” “oh yeah? try me”
sirius really dumb for barking at harry like it makes no sense
the knight bus is probably one of the best things in this movie
“whatcha doing down there??” “i fell over” “whacha fell over for?” “i didnt do it on purpose!” “well come on then, lets not wait for the grass to grow”
harry leans over and looks for the grim, stan: “whatcha looking at?”
“yeah take it away ernie,, its gonna be a bumpy ride”
this whole thing is written and directed so perfectly
i hate how they replaced tom bc it really made no sense
all the bits of magic in the leaky caldron is so genius
fudge reminds me of trump but like dumber
the blue lighting and coloring is just great, it fits the colder vibe of the story (not like HBP with the hazy/blurry effect)
ugh the glass and mirror transitions are one of my favorite things,, alfonso curon really did that
i love the weasleys,, also everyone looks great in this movie
omg the scene with arthur talking to harry about sirius with the sirius poster always being in sight?? amazing
contrast of light and darkness just echos the whole dementor vs patronus situation
i dont even understand why remus took the train other than for the nostalgia
the lights slowly turning off in the different carriages?? amazing
the visual representation of the dementors’ effect is great
REMUS!!!
i wish there was more emotion from remus when he’s talking about sirius,, like that was one of his only friends
snape clapping literally twice for remus,, ajhshsh
ahh the placement of the slytherin and gryffindor tables right beside each other to increase the tension and further the plot
oh yea the new dumbledore, also cool hat he has
omg the new fat lady painting
omg the candy scene?? so cute i love lads being lads. that scene just echo’s dumbledore’s light in the dark quote bc its storming outside at night and they’re creating a happy environment within the dark especially with the dementors
ah yes the clock references + following the bird to show us important parts of hogwarts and putting the whomping willow in the forefront
ron’s reading of harry’s tea leaves,, still on point tho. ron really has a knack for divination
buckbeak! omg drapple
draco is so hot especially with that ring also the slytherin pins??
“oh yeah, terribly funny, really witty. god, this place has gone to the dogs”
the kids look so messy i love it + harry’s uneven tie
HERMIONE CLINGING TO RONS ARM!!
“its killed me! your gonna regret this, you and your bloody chicken”
omg the boggart lesson
“riddikulus!” “this class is ridiculous”
fuck snape!
draco really pushed someone with his bandaged arm
remus is such an amazing professor i love him and i just miss him so much
ugh harry in this hoodie?? amazing
remus and harry’s conversation with the music :(( lily :((
wtf is that eye painting??
percy screaming about being head boy,, bro stfu
sirius is such a dramatic little bitch i love it
seasonal changes marked by the wimping willow
“turn to page 394”
what a fucking rude ass bitch,, i hate snape
harry really be seeing the grim everywhere
i wish they had “wheres wood?” “trying to drown himself in the shower”
winter transition with hedwig! + clock tower
“come and join the big boys”
i just adore this scene of the twins giving harry the map (bro i really want a series about the marauders)
whos that skinny bitch with draco???
harry’s way too rash tbh
also mcgonagall being also too nonchalant about the whole marauder’s situation?? like those werent your students
remus is a soft boy dark academia icon
if only dumbledore wasnt a dumbass,, remus could have been uncle moony raising harry with sirius
ron’s nightmare scene?? iconic
“my dad didnt strut. nor do i” umm james potter was also a drama queen sooo probably strutting
“you, YOU FOUL LOATHSOME EVIL LITTLE COCKROACH” “hermione no, he’s not worth it”
sirius’ dog form really looks like a rabid dog omfg
the part where hermione grabs harry while she’s on the wimping willow omfg
“only one will die tonight” YOU DRAMATIC BITCH UR NOT MAKING THIS BETTER
“finally the flesh reflects the madness within” “well you’d know all about the madness within, wouldn’t you remus?”
why the fuck is the shreaking shack is swaying in the wind??
QUARRELING LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE
why the fuck didnt they knock peter out?? like tf?? they’re actually dumb dumb there were so many ways for this to go right
this man really sent 2 13-year-olds on this dumbass mission
buckbeak really beat up remus,, “professor lupin’s having a really tough night”
harry’s a fucking psycho with this patronus bullshit,, i cant
can they stop screaming while flying on buckbeak?? someone might hear them
im still mad sirius didnt get his name cleared,, so much would’ve changed
“we did it” “did what? goodnight” i fucking hate dumbledore and his mindlessness omfg sometimes i wanna punch him in the face
fuck snape for outing remus as a werewolf,,, but also he really didnt have to resign. like istg wheres the marauder energy when it comes to defying everyone??
i wish the movies had went into the marauders’ history :(( its one of my favorite aspects of the series
#harry potter#harry potter movies#philosopher's stone#chamber of secrets#prisoner of azkaban#hermione granger#ronald weasley#remus lupin#sirius black#severus snape#albus dumbledore#minerva mcgonagall#movie marathon#notes#harry potter notes
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BNHA AU Ideas : The villain’s little hero
Also on AO3!
TL;DR: All Might, Japan's number 1 villain has a successor. The problem? His successor is a hero hopeful. All Might will stop at nothing to make sure his kid gets to live his dream.
au where all might is a villain raising izuku to be a hero!
quirkless izuku, his backstory is mostly the same
all might decided that hero work had too much red tape. if he was going to take down afo, he needed the freedom to do whatever he had to and he wasnt getting that working within the law
so hes a,,, viilllaaaiinnn?? like. stain. but less murdery, would also save civilians if they were in danger
he has 0 qualms about crippling fake heroes but hes not a fan of murder
nighteye is still his sidekick, he doesnt use his quirk on allmight bc all might h a t e s it
hes kinda on board with "the future is only set in stone because you've seen it now" so he wants the freedom to break fate. but its very useful to get info, so nighteye just uses it on other people
hero to the people villain to literally everyone else
allmights villain costume is reallll similar to his hero costume. just less eye bleeding
he has longer grey hair too.
all mights bronze age costume is basically his villain costume thanks for listening
david shield is still in this story
david agrees w all might and like,,, sneaks him stuff on the downlow
all might told him ab. his quirk because who on earth is gonna believe that one america man about japans worst supervillain?
also melissa is a Soft Young Woman and she is all mights favourite person on this fucking planet until he meets izuku
all might went to ua, only defected after completing his hero training because he wanted to be trained by the people he was going to screw over
izuku has always kinda been a big fan of all might. not openly because hes legally a villain and very much paints himself as one, but his quirk is one of the most amazing things izuku has ever seen
when he looks closer, all might has never let a civilian get hurt once hes been on scene. hes taken hits to protect housing, hes pulled heroes from the line of fire
izuku watches his sports festivals and wonders why? why did all might, the man who happily told the world he'd stop at nothing to keep them safe, suddenly flip sides like that for no reason?
izuku doesnt buy it
izuku's big yellow backpack is a big red one in this universe, hes had it so long its gone pink but he still loves it
the sludge villain
all might saves him and izuku is crying. allmight thinks its because hes scared but izuku just turns to him with this big weepy eye smile and gives him the most genuine thanks he thinks hes ever been given
(its honestly the shock of that that makes him deflate into small might, which has izuku scrambling to find tissues and called an ambulance before he thinks better of calling emergency services for All Might)
izuku is like "Im SO SORRY SIR ARE YOU oK"
and all might is like ",,, b oy"
izuku softly asking
"can,, can i still be someone with out a quirk? can i still make a difference?"
all might doesnt get the chance to anser because there is a massive explosion in the distance
its bakugo!! hes dying
the sludge villain got away bc izuku and all might were chatting a little
izuku hears it and he feels this terrible realization, because its probably not bakugo? but its definitely bakugo because izuku's life is falling to pieces
he sprints towards him and katsuki will n e v e r admit it but he feels hope in that moment because some one is trying to help. even if its just izuku, he wasnt totally left for dead
all might sees this tiny, nervous, quirkless kid run straight up to a villain that almost killed him seconds before to save someone what looks like they'd rather die
and he thinks
"no one deserves one for all more than him"
and allmight, the most wanted villain in japan, maybe the world, jumps in
the heroes look at him and they are scared. if they couldnt take the sludge villain, what is all might going to do to them? but the scariest man in japan, the person parents tell their kids about to stop them from going out at night, blows the sludge villain to tiny pieces and carefully, gently, places the two boys by the heroes
before he vanishes before they can call for backup or even ask why
izuku gets yelled at by the heroes because the heroes are scared and angry they couldnt stop either of the villains and izuku is so overwhelmed that hes crying and he can hardly breathe
bakugo doesnt even yell at him because hes so dazed about everything that happened and he cant make himself yell at this sobbing kid that used to be his friend
(bakugo is holding izukus hand like hes going to crush it but its the only thing keeping izuku present)
izuku is walking home and hes still hicuping and crying because he almost died and the heroes hate him and he feels a hand on his shoulder, and a soft :"its ok now my boy"
he knows its all might but he cant help but hide his face in his shirt and sob
all might gets down so he can look izuku in the eye
"you asked me if you could be someone with out a quirk and i didnt get the chance to answer. my answer? you already are someone. you are someone that inspired me, a villain, to save the day. you are going to be amazing"
and looks him dead in the eye "you'll do amazing things, even with out a quirk. but, you of all people deserve one, and no matter what you chose to do with it, it can be yours. hero, villain or someone in between"
izuku looks at this villain
this painfully thin villain, who just saved his life and who has unimaginable strength
and he throws his arms around his waist and sobs
inko isnt a great mum in this au and she likes to basically pretend izuku doesnt exist
izuku trains a lot and has to make his own food bc his mum just ignores him
he sneaks out at night to clear trash and sneaks back in before dawn to clean the sand from his hair
he smells like saltwater and rust, and he hasnt slept more than 4 hours a night in weeks and katsuki is worried
all might sees him crumbling with a smile stuck on his face and he wants to stop him from self-destructing, but the kid will never learn his lesson until he feels his body give up under what hes doing to it. if all might steps in he'll do it again and again until no one stops him and hes never learnt his limit.
so he waits and he watches while he pretends he cant see the bags under his eyes and pretends that everytime izuku sways on his feet he doesnt feel a jolt of deep panic
did he do this? if he the reason izuku looks like hes falling apart before his eyes?
the kid passes the fuck out and all might tells him off in a soft dad way and izuku cries bc why does this villain care more than his mum does
and all might catches the end of that little mumble, and feels terrible so he pretends he didnt hear and takes him for lunch
they go to a cafe and all might buys izuku the cutest slice of cake and a big ass bowl of katsudon and some fancy fucking tea and covers the kids eyes every time he tries to look at the prices
izuku looks at all might and asks
"are you buying me katsudon with crime money"
and all might looks sheepish and izuku giggles like an idiot and says "dont tell me ill feel bad!!!"
all might grins bc this kid is honestly the only reason he hasnt stabbed a pro hero in a few months bc hes so fucking sweet
he has to carry izuku half the way home bc the kid could barely lift his chopsticks and almost fell asleep in the booth after he finished eating
and allmight, skinny and kinda scary is giving his 15 year old a piggy back and someone says "you're such a good dad!" and he almost coughs up his last lung
izuku mumbles sleepily and hes has the biggest warm and fuzzy feeling and hes going to yell bc hes All Might the No. 1 Villain and this fucking kid is drooling on his sweater but he would die for him
some random stranger on the street commenting on how it was rly fortunate that izuku inherited his adorable smile from his father
all might, abt to burst into tears: whack
allmight is easily flustered even when hes killed a man
he comes home and inko isnt there so he has to like, wake up izuku to get him to open the door and he feels bad bc izuku is a Sleepy Man
izuku mumbles that he cant ever tell if shes at home or not because nothing changes and all might feels a wave of "wait my son isnt being parented enough"
so he makes izuku a cup of tea and tucks him into bed after he has a shower because izuku is His Son Now Inko
hes like
sitting in the living room reading the paper and he hears inko's car and hes like ",,, fuck it im walking out the front door im no coward"
she doesnt even notice and hes going to scream because does she have a brain
inko, spaced out, tired and terrible: oh is the tall man here for izuku :))) thats great :)))
all might is screaming bc"" do you get let weird men into see your tiny son>???? what the fuck???
hes so small inko??? and you?? let random men in?????
all might would yeet her into the sun if he could but his boy needs an actual family member to make going to ua easier
inko is kinda mentally ill. she is depressed and often forgets she has izuku. like shes not always being terrible she just sometimes forget to do basic things
one time she locked izuku out of the house for 10 hours and he had to sleep next to the front door
one month she didnt buy any food so by the end of it he was starving and out of his own money and there was n o t h i n g in the house, but inko would go out to eat every night and lunch and not take her son
allmight is upset bc izuku didnt tell him but izuku is embarrassed. embarrassed that he was forgotten by his own mum, that he couldnt do anything to help her or himself and honestly mad he was so hungry all might noticed bc he didnt want to bug him
it was getting to the point that katsuki actually slipped some change into his bag with a candy bar
#bnha au#bnha#villains hero au#villain all might#all might#midoriya izuku#midoriya#deku#katsuki bakugou#toshinori yagi#yagi#midoriya inko#dadmight#david shield#melissa shield#mha#boku no hero
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People that say Taka was the best team/friends for him is like saying a drug addicts friends who are also drug addicts are whats best for them simply because they went along with and encouraged their habit rather than trying to get them help and off a toxic lifestyle
Just because you have friends that support your bad habits doesnt mean their good friends and whats best for you
Friends who try to get you out of that toxic lifestyle to a better place where your clear-headed and healthy THOSE are real friends who want the best for you
I know this is a weird topic to touch on after the previous episode which I'm not downplaying because I thought it was wholesome, but the fact that people blatantly ignore how toxic and unhealthy Taka was for Sasuke AT THE TIME really just rubs me the wrong way
Do I think his relationship with Team 7 perfect? course not, but you can definitely see the difference between how TRUE friends behave and how enablers behave
Whenever Sasuke talked or thought about Team 7 he viewed them like family and precious bonds he had to cut in order to focus on and pursue revenge
Whenever Sasuke talked or thought about Taka he treated them as strictly subordinates, we never see him bothering to interact with them other than pursuing his goals and once they were no longer needed? he discarded and abandoned them without a second thought, he didnt even know Karin was an Uzumaki or that he even met her in the past which shows how little he cared about any of them on a personal level, the only one I can say Sasuke even remotely cared about to that degree is Jugo
None of them tried to empathize with Sasuke, none of them tried to talk to him about his struggles or problems and let him suffer alone, none of them cared for Sasuke to that point and if they did then they had one hell of a way of showing it
So my point? yes I think Sasuke cared somewhat about Taka in his own way and yes I think Taka cared for Sasuke as well I'm not saying they didnt, I'm just saying they didnt care enough
And it seems crazy to me that the same people who complain about the injustices done to Sasuke and his clan are the same one who support Taka and them supporting Sasuke and his crimes against pretty much everyone
Yes killing Danzo was a good thing but it was still a crime, Sasuke and Taka joined Akatsuki and tried to kidnap the 8 tails which was a crime against the Cloud village, Sasuke attacked the 5 kage summit and every single kage there making him an international criminal regardless if his goal was just Danzo it was still a risk of them getting involved, Sasuke just being a rogue ninja joining another rogue ninja is a crime, Sasuke attempting to kill all the 5 kage after the war would have been a crime
Yes some injustices can be resolved through violence but that is not the one and ONLY solution, Sasuke going rogue unfortunately even from a narrative standpoint yea it needed to happen for him to train with a Sanin etc but the only way to resolve Konoha’s injustice was to go through the right channels and expose to corruption that was in it, once Sasuke left and started committing crimes he lost the moral high ground and anything he said or did would easily be ignored and just thought of as another crazed Uchiha who deserved to die
You can argue yes but then Naruto and Kakashi could have said something once they found out but by that point it was like Temari said, it was FAR too late for Sasuke and even with the truth revealed how does that excuse his actions at the summit? against Bee? joining Akatsuki? killing Itachi and Danzo MIGHT have been able to be excused but the rest? there's no way that was getting overlooked even with the corruption exposed Sasuke was still just as much in the wrong now
I'm a huge Sasuke fan but even I can acknowledge that not every single one of his actions was 100% right and just, his actions towards the people who actually wronged him WERE in the right, but his actions in everything that didnt? yes he was in the wrong no ifs ands or buts about it
So for those who think Taka is so much better for Sasuke because they supported his criminal actions [except Jugo I believe he’d be fine either way] but not Team 7 who wanted Sasuke to stop his criminal actions and return to his senses and be in a healthy condition again, truly make me wonder if they actually care about Sasuke’s well being or just think everyone who isnt a yes man to everything Sasuke did somehow dont care about his feelings or the injustices done to him and just wanna change him
Yeah, change him for the BETTER not worse, if anything Taka tried to do the opposite of that but hey I guess being a bad influence is better than being a good one
And listen we can go back and forth all day about Sasuke's situation after the war because I agree wholeheartedly that thats bullshit, but realistically speaking the fact that some things about the Uchiha massacre are unresolved like those two elders even being allowed to breathe, realistically speaking what CAN you really do? the Uchihas are dead and the main man responsible is dead and Hiruzen who failed to stop it is also dead so what would exposing everything do at that point? everyone directly involved is DEAD so exposing it really is pointless even if only to clear Itachi’s name which I'm gonna say something alot of you wont like
But the Uchiha’s were not all innocent victims, atleast not the ones involved and planning the coup, yes they were treated unfairly but does that mean the best approach to fixing this is to overthrow the government? how does that make you look? your proving their suspicions of you right by attempting to be the threat they all think you are, that is NOT how you get your point across and demand justice for your clan by planning a coup that would result in many lives lost including your own
Does that mean do nothing? course not, but if you want their trust then you have to EARN it and if you want justice and equality then go on strike and refuse to serve them until their willing to talk and compromise, seriously the Uchiha was a HUGE asset to Konoha so them refusing to obey and offer their services definitely would have gotten their attention and force them to listen and find a compromise, if that didnt work they could have tried spreading the word to fellow citizens and gain their support as I'm pretty sure not EVERYONE in Konoha felt the same way towards them and would have joined their cause for equality
But no, they chose the path of violence and it resulted in their entire clan's downfall and they end up with NOTHING but a bad name, so what did they gain? absolutely nothing, so was it worth it? NO
So lets stop acting like Konoha’s the big bad villain that did nothing but wrong and the Uchiha’s were pure innocent souls that did nothing wrong to deserve what happened to them because Ima say it THEY DID and their downfall was entirely their own fault for their approach, was it right? of course not genocides never ok and just as the Uchihas could have found another method Konoha could have as well so they were both in the wrong not just one or the other
Itachi also isnt a saint for the same reason the Uchiha’s and Konoha isnt and thats choosing the wrong approach to resolving the problems, there were many other paths he could have chosen but he chose the worst ones every time so just clearing Itachi’s name because of his good intentions wouldnt be right because his methods were beyond fucked up on so many levels
So my point is Sasuke was a victim of both sides wrongdoings, Taka didnt help with that at all, Team 7 tried to empathize and tried to understand and console him and save him from himself, its just that Sasuke didnt let them and pushed them away and thats of no fault of theirs since they did try but mainly Sasuke and them being mostly in the dark about everything
Yet Taka knowing almost everything didnt even try to reach out to him or help him cope in any way, Karin you’d think would understand and get through to Sasuke the most, cared more about her lust for him and seeing his ‘smile’ than actually empathizing with him and helping him through the turmoil he was in, Suigetsu made it clear he was out for himself from the start and Jugo is just wholeheartedly loyal to Sasuke no matter what
The fact that in the end, Sasuke makes no attempt to visit them until he needs them for something speaks volumes of his attachment to them, I think Taka thinks more of Sasuke than Sasuke does of them
He didnt even say goodbye to them before he left for his redemption journey nor did he bring them along on his years-long mission which again speaks volumes
So all Im saying is, Taka being the best team for Sasuke and his true friends is complete bull because I have yet to see any argument or reasoning for this be anything other than he chose them and that they went along with everything he did without question
If you have a better reason for why you think this then please share with me I welcome it maybe you can change my mind, but as of right now all the arguments I see is bullshit or occasionally shipping based which isnt a legitimate reason btw, so if you can be civil then I'm all ears
Note: I didnt mention the other Kages because it should be obvious their ways were screwed up as well and ruined a lot of lives, however what does Sasuke’s idea of basically ruling as a dictator resolve? how does that fix and reform the system? Sasuke wont live forever so what happens when he dies? he cant be the enemy that unites everyone once he’s dead and gone it’ll return back to how things were and thus mission failed another Uchiha dies for nothing, Sasuke’s approach to the situation was just a temporary solution not a permanent one and one that wouldnt last long anyway so lets not pretend Sasuke had the best solution to the problem when in all honesty both his and Naruto’s solutions were flawed and it makes sense that they’d work together using both methods rather than one and compromise, again we can argue about Sasuke’s situation after the war all day but fact of the matter is just gotta accept this is what it is and move on, at least Sasuke achieved partially what he wanted which was a bright future for the next generation and the villages to be at peace with one another without the need of a common enemy anymore, are things completely resolved? no, but its progress, and 15 years is nowhere near enough time to fix decades worth of damage so its still a work in progress and will be for a long time
#naruto fandom#anti-taka#pro team 7#this isnt really anti taka cuz i love suigetsu and jugo#i just dont think their the best team for him#or even the best friends#but their good comrades and im glad their all cool now and not under house arrest like orochimaru lol#i debated whether or not to put this on my main blog or rant one and i decided fuck it im goin for it#this isnt really a rant to begin with but more of me venting about how stupid this is#but hey im open to changing my mind if the arguments made are actually good I'll have no problem admitting i was wrong#but as of now well im confident that wont be happening
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Its time to meet the King of the dragons: Bio Roark
Human form:
Popsugar
Dragon form:
mywishlist.ru
Name: Roark
Species: Dragon
Age: over 600 years old
Gender: male
Sexuality: Straight
Looks: Roark is a 6'0"tall over 600 years old dragon.
In his human form he is a bald muscular man around 50 with wide shoulders, six-pack(Face claim is Bruce Willis) His eyes are bluish green with brown spot in his right eye, his nose is straight, his face masculin and his lips full. He clad his body in suits red, black sometimes grey without a fly or tie. His only jewelries are three massive golden rings with his kingdom sign and a ring with a drop of the a lock of his queen in it a gift to his 500 birthday.
His dragon form has three heads, three personalities, one is calm and polite it has ocean blue eyes, one is wild and rough one eyes dark golden and one is neutral and the leader of both deciding wich head to listen to has green eyes. Kinda like Angel and Devil on shoulder.
Scars: He has many scars from many battles with humans and other enemies. The worst is decorating his back after he was struck by lightning as child thought.
Clothing: Like said above he is wearing mostly suits and casual clothes like button up shirts, shirts and mostly long pants.
Weapons: He fights with one sword a gigantic one because if he fights he fights in his dragon form. Not that his human form is any weaker but he likes to scare his enemies with his gigantic sword and dragon form.
Personality: Roark is a strongwilled fair and calm ruler. He who would do all for his family and folk. He loves children and is popular with the kids on his island. Beside his age he is still a modern man and likes the inventions of humans. Even thought he rarelly leaves his castel to see them for himself because he need to keep an eye on his folk.
Relationships: He only fell in love once with his queen and had two daughters and three sons with her. Sadly the queen and princesses died on the virus who is killing the female dragons.
Thats why he is forced as the young male of his folks including his sons to search for a bride in his case a queen to safe his race.
Likes: -Roark likes fruits he has a weakness for sweet fruits like strawberries.
-He is satisfied when his folk is happy and trys his best to please them.
He loved his queen over all and his daughters and visits their graves every day.
-He likes to go climb the mountains on his island, it keeps his body beside the training with his much younger royal gards healthy.
-He is a romantic deep hidden inside and enjoyed to go on walks under the starlight with his queen or have picnicks under the moonlight.
He loves children and is a protective, strict big teddy bear father.
-Roark loves music and sometimes sings with his folks at little festivals. His voice is and and raspy voice makes the female dragons falling in love with him.
-He prefers baths over showers mostly using them at the evening to relax and think over the day.
Dislikes:
-The king of dragons dislikes lies! Honesty is important for him even if the truth could be rough. He would never lie.
-In many battles he surivived he took lifes but he hates to kill and only does it if there is no other way.
-Roark hates hunters and he knew they are still out there trying to find his folk.
-He dislikes any violence against woman and childrend punishes it mercyless.
-He cant stand it if someeone calls him old king. He does not feel old and always tells them to wait until he is over 1000. He does not planning to die anytime soon.
-Roark hates traitors and knows no mercy for them. Traitors are in his eyes are dragons who hurt humans who didnt started the battle. Killing out of hate who is sadly still living within the hearts of many of his people.
-Hurt one of his children thats how he sees his folk and you will feel his wrath. Mercyless he will hunt you down no mattr where you hide he will find you and take revenge for his child.
Background Story:
Roark was born over 600 years ago by Queen Regina as the youngest son of King Seoras. His older brother Neacal who was born to become king over the kingdom sadly was killed by dragon hunter as Roark turned 2 years. To soon his childhood ended four years later as his father left their kingdom for war. His days where endlessly filled with many lessons and hard training to make a strong king out of him. Only his mother took care of it that he sometimes could be a child and took him out on walks through his kingdom to be closer with the folks and learn from them as well. With eight years old he was almost killed by lighting striking him as he run away from the castle after a fight with his teacher. To his luck and all of his folks, he could be saved but a scar where the lightning hit him was decorating now his back. The young dragon king met his queen Rhiannon as teen when he was sixteen. She was one of the lady’s daughters who where friends with his mother. He just saw her and knew she was it. But she had eyes for another dragon at that time. That didn’t stop Roark to fight for her heart. First he tried to impress her with this title and spoiled her with gifts. But soon he realized the red haired beauty was not touched the slightest by it. Only as he showed her his true wild, kind hearted self he managed to win her over and after his father return he asked for the blessing by his and her parents. Three years later he married her and was pulled in to his first battle. He disappeared for one and a half year missing the birth of his first son prince Alasdair. In the war he lost many of his loyal men. It hardened him and almost filled his whole heart with hate. Only his queen Rhiannon could save him from it by introduccing to him his son Alasdair and only two years later making him the gift of twin boys Keane and Seoras. He soon began to teach them how to read, to fight and climb. His three boys are his pride. Alsadair is more like his mother while the twins come after their father. As the war with the humans became worse the dragons made horrible decision what still haunts Roark until this days. They find out that a human bride who was burn to ashes while giving birth made the dragons become stronger.
But the horrible act made the humans fight back with wizards and witches. Making Roarks father their traitor through mind control spell. His father and he had to fight but it ended as the father broke out of the spell and attacked the hunters. King Seoras found it end through their hands as many dragons.
Arman a dragon who kept his bride alive showed the dragons too late that human and dragon could live in happiness together. This made now King Roark decide to save the rest of his folks by calling one of the first dragons for help through a old wind ritual, after all was said that the soul of a dragon became one of the many colors fo the sky and can be seen carried by the wind. The dragon appeared in his dreams that night and showed him a island made grown on his bones and told him old forgotten words of a spell to hide this island from humans and any other beings. After he woke up in the deepest night he ordered his folk to build ships. He worked side by side with them driven by the hope in a better future for his kind. From over 40 big ships only 34 arrived safely at the island. Where Roark immedatly put on the spell like the old dragon told him letting his kind disappear for the rest of the world. Many, many years later the queen gave birth to his two daughters: Jovia, and Junia. The kingdom was blessed the folk started to grew more and more. But the king didnt liked how they where cut out from the rest of the world and decided to send young brave dragons out from time to time to visit the human world and keep an eye on them. Soon he danced on the weddings of his twins and after them his oldest son finally find his mate. It made the much older dragon King happy to see his family grow and his folk with them. Roark also decided to give festival every year for the many human brides who where killed so horribly by his kind. It was build a statue of the last bride who was killed in such a way and beg their forgiveness with flowers, salty pastery as symbol for the tears and red wine for the blood that flown. Sad songs will be carried through the whole island on this day. Also to remember how they forced the human to give away their beautiful virgins they have a special wedding ritual the dragon man is waiting on the island while the bride with her family is on a ship prepared clad in her white dress traditional jewelry. She is put in to boat to lay down and sing a song. An old song who humans sang to call the dragon in to their village to take away his bride. The bride and her family will sing it and the dragon male will take her with the boat in his dragon from to the island there they will be awaited by the priest. Roarks kingdom was growing through the inventations his spions brought to it and it seemed like he really brought his kind in to the perfect paradise... Sadly a few years ago a horrible virus started to take away the female dragons lifes. His heart broke as his queen and daughters fell to the virus. He himself carried them alone in his dragon form to their family grave to put them to rest beside his mother. Who was one of the first dragon women who fell to this horrible invisible death. As he saw the hate growing inside his young dragon men and his sons hearts, the dragon king decided to send them out in the world to find their happiness and see the human world for themselves. He gave them three months to find a bride or the cure for the virus.
But after almost the end of the third month he grew tired of waiting and decided to visit the human world himself.
To may find some help for his kind and a new queen.
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Bias Tag
Tagged by the wonderful @prettywordsyouleft
Rules: list the groups you like, your bias, and your bias wrecker. tag 10 people
1- Vixx
Bias: Wonshik (Ravi) / Jaehwan (Ken)
Ravi is my original bias from the get go, when VIXX debut I instantly found him attractive, his voice ( im a goner for a deep rapper) He also reminded me of Baro from B1A4 (get to that later). Jaehwan though crept up and made himself knows, i mean how can you not fall in love with that man’s voice?! Pure fucking talent with a voice of a god tyvm. And his thighs and the rest of him arent too shabby either >_>
Bias Wrecker: Sanghyuk (Hyuk)
Now do not get me started on this Manhyuk, yes MAN HYUK!! I’ve always appreciated the maknae of Vixx but it wasnt untll recently that i started to appreciate him more. Boy grew up too well, his dancing has improved so much, as has his vocal training / abilities. That boy moves too well for his own darn good, and i’m weak for thighs..
2- Got7
Bias: Jackson
Where do i even begin with Jackson Wang.. again, being a rapper i loved his tone, physically he is the type that i go for ( i like them thick, no shame here) His genuine caring nature, passion and drive to achieve his goals and the fact that he will do anything for his loved ones, even make an ass of himself. Got me sold.
Bias Wrecker: Jinyoung
Jinyoung is my original JJP bias, and i chose him as my first Got7 bias too, he is practically perfect in everyway.. sassy, namja, built like a god.. voice like one too. Do i need to say more?
3- B.A.P
Bias: Himchan
It actually took me awhile to chose a bias in B.A.P because I didnt want to admit that I liked Himchan (dont ask me why) but it was obvious why i like him. I love his deep voice when he sings/ raps. I also admire the fact that even though he doesnt want to dance so much, he always tries his hardest. He’s sassy as fuck, and such a shit stirrer, but loves those boys like family.
Bias Wrecker: Youngjae
Where do i even begin with Yoo Youngjae? Sassy fucker at its finest, noona wrecker, sings like.. I dont even know.. his smirks literally kill me, as do his thighs. Seeing them in person made me realise just how fucking beautiful B.A.P are.. I hate and love in in equal measure.
4- B1A4
Bias: Baro / Sandeul
Like i said earlier I had picked Ravi because he reminded me of Baro. I’m literally weak for a good rapper, and no one can say that Baro isnt one.. because HELLO TRIED TO WALK ANYONE!? This man is a pure goofball, and such a talent. Duelie, well.. he snuck up with his amazing vocals.. his voice is one of the few voices i die over everytime i hear it, gives me goosebumps and shivers & literally makes me cry. Also his duckbutt is glorious..the man is built in ways that are just too much for this noona.
Bias Wrecker: CNU/Dongwoo
He is seriously such a sleaze, his voice and stage presence oozes it. He honestly fucks me up with how much he wants to fuck you through the camera when he performs. He is built the way i like too.. attractive namja ugh
5- Wanna One
Bias: Ha Sungwoon / Ong Seongwoo
Before I even saw Sungwoon, I heard his voice. His voice is what attracted me first, then i laid eyes on him, and well damn. He is so so handsome and cute, I also love the fact that he is short (i’m only 5ft) His stage presence is always huge and he puts so much effort into everything, he is a perfectionist. Ong.. was another one who’s voice attracted me first (and shamelessly he was one of the only ones I could pick out straight away at first when i saw him. He is unique looking.
Bias Wrecker: Park Woojin
This one right here is literally the worst noona killer known to mankind (atleast to me) I try my hardest not to get attached to the younger members in kpop (me being almost 32) but talent literally flows out of him, his rapping, his dancing, this kid has it all. I only see bigger and brighter things for him.
6- Day6
Bias: Wonpil
I hated him at first, I didnt understand why he got so much, and i constantly complained about hearing him sing.. BUT he got on my nerves so much that I realized I actually loved the fuck outta this cutie. Now his voice is one of my favourites and hearing it does things to me. I appreciate this man like no other.
Bias Wrecker: Brian
I refuse to call him YoungK, his name is Brian. This talented asshole... has everything, rapping, composing, singing, bassist.. UGH It is literally so hard for me because these two rival eachother like no other constantly.
7- VAV
Bias: St Van
Again he is another member that I complained about, and didnt like at first, but i knew.. I KNEW he would creep up and take the bias spot. He is honestly so precious, and i love watching him cook and just be all casual. NAMJA
Bias Wrecker: Lou
He was my original bias, and I feel bad that St Van took his spot, but he still gives me moments where i am like... DAMN BOI. cos yeah.
8- EXO
Bias: Suho
He’s not my original bias in EXO, allbeit because a friend i once had biased him and made it so i felt like i couldnt bias him, but he is definitely my main bias. This man is pure fluff, seriousness, talent, attractive and a goofball. He honestly fucks me up with just one look.
Bias wrecker: Jongdae
Need I say more? LOL.. Jongdae was my original bias, the man can sing, dance, do it all really. Smirky, charming... UGH.
9- Seventeen
Bias: Chan / DK
Again I trieddddd to not like on the young ones.. but come on now people, Chan will fuck. you. up. That boy knows how to moves, he knows we like it and enjoys making you squirm. DK, his voice, i love love loveeee his voice, and he isnt too bad to look at, he is a giant fluffball and honestly does not act his age sometimes. Bias Wrecker: LEE JIHOON
I honestly overlooked him so much, and complained about him alot, why does he get so much? he’s not that great... I WAS WRONG. THIS MAN HAS FUCKED ME OVER SO BADLY. TALENT IS EVERYWHERE. HE PUTS SO MUCH EFFORT INTO EVERYTHING. HIS THIGHS. I DONT CARE THAT HE’S SHORT. IT MAKES ME LOVE HIM MORE. COME BE SASSY WITH ME.
10- NCT
Bias: Doyoung
This sweet doughboy of a man is everything. Great vocals. Great visuals. Dances and tries so hard. He is so very pure and fluffy and cute amazing boyfriend material, but also has a temper that you dont want to fuck with. I love that he’s sassy and serious, but also a cutie. wahhhh
Bias Wrecker: Lucas
I tried my hardest not to like on this boy, but FUCK does he not look like a man??? Cos damn he is so attractive it HURTS. I’m so glad he finally made his debut, you deserve it bb. Noona loves you!
I tag @annoyingtiger888 @hopesdreamsandalatte @noona-clock @hoshees
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Mafia AU! Park Woojin
yall i love park woojin
Genre;; kinda fluff + friends to lovers AGAIN WHAT IS IT WITH ME AND THIS and angsty themes?? + mafia AU
Warnings;; yes there’s def some violence here
Pairing;; Park Woojin x reader
Requested;; yes by anon here and also here
Summary;; You’re reunited with your old best friend in the strangest of ways….
Style;; bullet point
Word Count;; 2204
Others in the series;; Daniel | Jihoon | Minhyun | Seongwoo
masterlist • request rules • request something
me? posting before midnight? interesting...
you never forgot park woojin
you two were neighbours ever since you were born, you were best friends from the very start
you were literally inseparable even in school
woojin once cried so hard they had to call his parents in because he wasn't put in the same class as you so he had to change class HDKKF
but really,, you two were more like the same person than anything else
you'd spend all of your time together, always going to each other's houses and sleeping over I mean you were neighbours
when woojin got a trampoline you were there almost every day to play on it
and when you got a game console he was always over at yours to play on it
but one day he disappeared suddenly with no word said to you
it was the middle of high school, you two had stopped being in the same classes all the time and although you each had your own group of friends you two were ,,, the closest
still spending most of your time together and doing homework together for the classes you shared
but then woojin missed a day of school
and then another
and another
until it was a whole week
you immediately thought the worst, that he was sick
so after you got home from school that day you ran straight to his house only to see a 'for sale' sign in the yard and the house completely empty
when you got back to your house you asked your parents about it and they just mumbled something about the mafia
and just like that you never saw him again
you got on with your life, but it was difficult
you hadn't got a friend to say everything to anymore
nobody as close to you
and it made you feel very,, alone
and if what your parents had said about the mafia was true then
for all you know woojin could be a gangster or worse, dead
you'd just never know now
but you poured yourself into your work
you studied as hard as possible, partially because it was a distraction but also because something in you made you think that maybe, just maybe, if you did well woojin would be proud of you
wherever he was, that is
and you really did do well
you went to one of the top colleges in the country with a high gpa
but even though you'd succeeded it didn't feel right
you didn't have woojin there to celebrate with you
you didn't have woojin going to college with you
it was... different
but you got on with it
you found a small apartment in the suburbs to live in while you attended uni, and although it was kind of cramped it was homey and also very cheap
your friends at college said it was ,, in a kind of dodgy area,,, but you ignored them because well
you'd never seen anything bad happened and your neighbours were a crazy cat lady and a photographer how dodgy could it be???
that was until you were walking home one day, later than usual
you'd been doing work in the library for an essay that was due in a few weeks time
when you came across something odd - dodgy
3 men stood with their guns pointed towards another man on his own, with his own gun
all the men had your backs to you but
one of them seemed familiar
you approached further, making sure they didn't notice you because haha you didn't want to be shot
he... reminded you of someone
or was he the someone he was reminding you of?
wait
it's?
"Woojin?"
it was only a whisper but
the man closest to you, turned around, his gun pointing to the floor
and as he looked you in the eye you knew
it was definitely woojin
as much as you wanted to run to him and hug him for 2991934 hours to make up for the years you'd missed together
there was a dangerous situation
just as one of the other men tutted and turned to woojin
the person they were all facing ran away into the night
the tallest man fired in the mans disappearing shadow before walking off, followed by the other man
"Woojin? Are you coming with us?"
"I'm just going to stay here for a bit. See if he comes back."
the tallest hummed in approval before turning to walk away
"You shouldn't have lost focus."
as soon as they were out of sight woojin ran over to you and hugged you tighter than you've ever been hugged before
"I've missed you so much, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"
you smiled into his shoulder and took a deep breath
"It's okay, as long as you're okay it's all okay."
he pulled back from the hug and looked at your face properly, lit up by the streetlights
"You've gotten prettier, I'm sure!"
you rolled your eyes at him and smacked his shoulder
"Shut up, if anything you've got... handsome.... er???"
he laughed at your attempt at a compliment and stepped back
"It's dark, do you want to come to mine? I live nearby!"
and he did
he lived closer to your college than you did which made you jealous,,, but his apartment was also way bigger than yours with 2 bedrooms which made you even moRE JEALOUS
he went to make you some tea and when he returned you two sat on the sofa, watching tv
to be honest,, neither of you were focused on the tv,, more on how good it felt to be back together again
"I really missed you woojin, I thought you were dead."
you sighed and breathed slowly, your chest heavy
"I wouldn't die on you, you know that."
his tone was serious but he looked at you next to him with a smile
and you felt your heart jump a bit
it hasn't been long since you last saw him but you were sure he'd gotten even more handsome
in fact he was really,,, good looking ,,,
he explained that when he left it wasn't really,,, his fault
his dad was Kang Daniel's dad's, the head of the mafia, old friend, and he'd called in a favour which meant he needed woojin's dad's help
and the area you lived in wasn't really ideal,,,
so woojin moved away and then with all that happened
he managed to get involved in the mafia himself
but he wasn't really heavily involved
not as much as his friends minhyun and jihoon, who were with him earlier
minhyun was higher up,, and jihoon was as good as a trained assassin who watched over newbies like a hawk in case they tried to stray
but woojin wasn't nearly as involved as them
he just did small jobs, jobs that didn't need a lot of work or violence because although he was good with a gun they said he had ""too much of a heart""
and he was totally fine with that,,, he didn't really want to go around doing bank robberies or hits
before long you got talking about yourself, your uni life
when you mentioned your grades you noticed the proud look on woojins face and it made it all worth it
because not only did you make him proud but the grades brought you here where you saw him again
when you mentioned where you live you noticed woojin started to look like he was
,,, in thought ,,,
and he suddenly spoke up before you'd even finished your sentence
"Do you want to live with me? I'm closer and you don't have to pay me rent!"
WELL YOU WERENT ABOUT TO SAY NO
something in your mind was thinking about,,, living with a mafia member would be dangerous,,, but he was low down so you assumed it would be totally okay
also he claimed that you ‘might be recognised by that guy!!!’ and it was protection lmao nice one
and so you moved in together
it was ;; real fun being together all the time again
it was exactly like nothing had change
you'd order takeout like every night and just eat it and watch tv
I mean of course you'd do your work for college too but
it was like the 2+ years without him never happened
but there was one difference
somewhere in your heart, feelings were starting to grow for woojin
not bad ones lol
LOVE
he had gotten so handsome,,, and so caring ,,, and the way he looked at you sometimes gave you butterflies
but he was in the mafia...????!!!!!
that ain't safe
one day you were home earlier than usual, one of your classes were cancelled
when you heard woojin come in,, accompanied by who you assumed were minhyun and jihoon
of course you realised you pROBABLY HAD TO SHUT UP AND NOT SAY ANYTHING BECAUSE THEY DIDNT KNOW YOU EXISTED
so you went and hid out in the bathroom
as you hid,,, you could hear some of their talking
they were just talking about Daniel,,,, really ,,, and his cool penthouse suite in the hq and how jealous they were of it lmAO
as you got bored of their conversing you looked to the side and noticed
boy had literally used up all of the toilet paper
completely forgetting about keeping quiet you sighed loudly and mumbled "every damn time"
uh oh
bad idea
them mafia guys got MAD good hearing
"What the hell was that??"
"It sounded like a person..."
"Uh.... it's the ghost that haunts this apartment??"
nice lie woojin
"It sounded like it came from the bathroom, I'm going to check-"
before anyone could barge in on you, you stepped out from the bathroom and were greeted by the shocked faces of ,,, minhyun and jihoon,,, and woojin facepalming
"Really y/n? You couldn't keep quiet?"
"Why is there a GIRL in your bathroom? I thought you lived alone"
the taller, older one - you guessed he must be minhyun- seemed more shocked and confused than angry
but as for jihoon...
"She isn't one of us. Who is she?"
"She's my friend from before, she goes to uni nearby so she lives in the spare bedroom is that so bad?"
minhyun shrugged and wandered off back to the living room but jihoon looked at you suspiciously
"You know what you're getting her involved in?"
"Yeah."
"Hmm."
and then jihoon was gone too
and I guess that was how you met woojins friends
straight away minhyun started to come over every evening to teach you some self defence
nothing with a gun,,, because that's too much for someone who isn't even part of the mafia,,, but just how to protect yourself from attacks just in case
and every time you'd successfully do something, woojin would have that proud look on his face again
which gave you butterflies
before long you were pretty much perfect at defending yourself
if someone even tapped your shoulder,,, you could have them on the floor in 0.2 seconds
even minhyun was impressed by how quickly you caught on
and so your self defence classes finished
in celebration of your completion, you text woojin as soon as minhyun left to ask him what takeout he wanted
he responded quickly with
"Pizza! I'll be back soon!!!"
and so you got to ordering it
it came quickly, before woojin even got home
and so you went to unpack it, leaving the front door unlocked so woojin could get in easily
as you started to unpack the pizza you heard a faint knock at the door
assuming it was woojin, you shouted to him that the door was unlocked, he could come straight in
you heard the squeak of the door opening and closing, still not turning around from the pizza
and that was when you felt it
a cold knife was pressed against your neck from behind, a gloved hand pressing it close to your throat
before you even had time to process the situation your training had kicked in
you couldn't do much in the way of beating the guy up, but you managed to disarm him and chuck his knife out of the window
as you stood face to face with him, your own kitchen knife in your hand the door swung open and there was woojin
you looked over at him and noticed the complete shock as he pulled the gun from his pocket and the intruder backed away
"Get out!!! Do you hear me?? Get out of here!!"
he waved the gun in the direction of the door and within seconds the intruder was gone
an odd silence fell in the apartment, with the only noise being the wind through the open door
Woojin looked up at you, a strange look in his eyes
"Woojin-"
he walked straight up to you, holding your face in his hands for a few seconds saying nothing at all
and then his lips were on yours
all you could think about was how much you loved him,, not even what had just happened
he pulled back slightly, resting his forehead against yours
"I really need to stop letting the one I love get hurt."
aha i love writing these
#park woojin#wanna one imagines#wannaone imagines#wanna one scenarios#produce 101 imagines#produce 101 scenarios#p101 imagines#woojin#mafia au#au#pwj
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it's kinda surprising to me that pidge actively defends shiro in regards to the kerberos mission; even though we know it wasn't his fault, pidge didnt, and it would be a pretty typical response to grief to try to blame someone. do you think she thought it was extraterrestrial intervention, even before she started picking up alien radio chatter?
Probably because in declaring it pilot error, the Garrison was not insinuating that Shiro was a reckless or malicious person who slammed them all into Kerberos for the hell of it.
I’d really recommend looking up actual historical failed missions because even when they’ve been able to narrow it down to a specific cause or a specific person’s oversight, it is not as if that person is treated like a murderer.
Shiro would be regarded respectfully, as a victim of the situation. He was depicted respectfully:
Look at this. They’re using professional, official images for all three of them. Shiro’s even the one not in a space suit so they can see his uniform and the, y’know, medal hanging from it.
The Garrison handpicked Shiro and the Holts for this assignment. If they made out Shiro to be incompetent, not only would this be dancing on the grave of one of their own coworkers who as far as they know suffered an unpleasant death in space via explosive decompression, suit failure, asphyxiation or starving- it would be mocking Shiro to his grieving family (unprofessional as hell), and it’d be pretty damn blatant to anyone who knew Shiro.
Not only is it not something the Garrison would pull, not something that we have any evidence the Garrison did pull, but if somehow they performed the necessary yoga exercises to get their head that far up their ass and do it anyway, a lot more people than just Pidge would eat them alive for it.
If you’re still not convinced Shiro wasn’t the Garrison’s scapegoat, consider: He’s Lance’s personal hero, in a way that Lance doesn’t seem to justify. BOTH Pidge and Lance are mutually incredulous that the Garrison wouldn’t listen to Shiro.
Literally the exact way Iverson frames the Kerberos mission is that the slightest lapse of discipline “cost the lives of” three good men. Iverson is delivering this warning to promising, higher-class cadets. He’s framing this as “I’m sure you think it’s harmless to have these minor, inconsequential distractions but they will kill you in space.”
Iverson isn’t accusing Shiro of trying to fly the spaceship with his butt. Iverson’s accusing Shiro, at worst, of looking away from the console at the wrong time. Of making any of a number of tiny, trivial mistakes at exactly the wrong time and exactly the wrong place and that leading to a disaster. Nobody is going to say “you sneezed at the wrong time, therefore, you totally deserved to die and took two people with you, you murderer,” and the Garrison in particular is not going to say “We, a competent and well-staffed organization which trains our pilots exhaustively for years, sent This Total Loser out into space with all of the resources needed to catastrophically mess up and kill himself and two other people.”
Since it’s somehow very hard for people to believe the Garrison as an organization actually cares about people: anything they accuse Shiro of reflects on them. They’re the ones who let Shiro graduate from flight school, from the Garrison cadet program- they’re the ones who put him in charge of flying this mission, they’re the ones who pinned that medal to his chest. Saying they put their faith in an incompetent pilot isn’t washing their hands- it’s saying they, themselves, are incompetent in their ability to judge.
There was no smear campaign. There was no demonization. The worst that the Garrison did for the Kerberos mission is sound more certain about it than they were- since they were unable to pin down mechanical failure and there was no evidence of a crash they had to assume it was a more difficult-to-trace human error. Shiro, as the pilot, is the one where pure human error could endanger the whole team without an outside force- communications technician would only be in that position if they had someone else to communicate with, and the mechanic would get involved if they had a mechanical failure.
Getting back to your specific question now that we’ve established Shiro was not Garrison scapegoat.
Pidge knew there was more afoot before she infiltrated. That was what she found- that the Garrison had no evidence of a crash on Kerberos. What you’re saying- that Pidge is angry and grief-stricken and very fourteen, and going to leap to conclusions, is exactly what she does with the Garrison. In them she sees not a government organization that has to release some kind of explanation because they know nothing, because three of their astronauts- coworkers, people they knew, a bright cadet full of potential on his very first mission who probably the media would latch onto because he was so young.
The weeks after the Kerberos Mission this would have been inescapable on the news. It’d be something that went down in history like the Challenger explosion. The Garrison can’t afford to shrug. If nothing else, I think they wouldn’t want to- sure, this did turn out to be a sci-fi series, but at the time- if you’re grieving the tragic loss of three people you really don’t want to accidentally imply aliens and let the tabloids drag their memory through the mud and seventeen conspiracy theories.
But Pidge? Pidge just sees that they’re not telling the truth, and she can’t forgive that. She wants justice, she wants truth, and they’re in her way.
In that sense, it’s pretty straightforwards why Pidge latches onto Shiro. Because Shiro promises answers. Because he made it out of there- at least initially, she’s full of hope that Shiro can lead her back to her family. He’s a lead when she hasn’t had any of them in a very long time.
#voltron legendary defender#vld#Shiro#Pidge#readmore#I will continue to retread this ground as long as people continue to act like that's a thing.#Anonymous
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The Problem Isnt Just Trump. Its Our Ignorant Electorate.
For many of us, mornings have taken on a certain nauseating sameness. We roll out from beneath the blankets and, before the scent of coffee has reached our nostrils, we are checking the news feeds for the latest semi-literate tweet coughed up by the ranting, traitorous squatter occupying the Oval Office.
The rest of the day is spent in a kind of horrified suspension, holding our breath, waiting for whatever outrage will inevitably belch forth from the White Houseonce a bastion of seriousness and decorum, now ground zero for the demise of western democracy. How many lies will Trump spew today? Which dictators will he suck up to? Will he smear a Gold Star family? Attack a woman who dares to call out his smarmy predations? Unveil a puerile, racist nickname for a Senator or member of his own cabinet?
As much as we loathe it, however sickening it might have become, every day seems all about him, a former game show host and real estate failure, a hawker of rot-gut vodka and bullshit degrees from a fraudulent University who once styled himself as the Donald. The cable news shows lead with his most recent flatulence, the op-ed pages brim with intimations of doom, late night comedians are having a field day.
He is the president and, thus, bears watching. But we would be mistaken to think that he is truly the center of our universe, a man with a plan, commanding the heights, directing the action.
Virulent as he may be, Donald J. Trump is a symptom not the disease. Without us, he would amount to nothing more than what he had always been before the bizzaro presidential election of 2016: a foppish narcissist desperate for any measure of affirmation; a joke; a nothing. He did not create his voters. They have been there all along, seething with sometimes justifiable anger and suffering their various insecurities. They created and enabled Trump. And make no mistake, in all their vulnerable humanity, they are us: Gullible, compliant, distracted, marinating in irony.
At root, we the people are the problem.
We are understandably reluctant to impugn the intelligence and integrity of our fellow citizens. It is arrogant, uncivil, bad form. Who are we, any of us, to hold ourselves superior? When Hillary Clinton referred to some Trump supporters as deplorables, she was roundly castigated on all sides. How dare she? Yet it is an uncomfortable reality that anywhere from a fifth to a third of our electorate can be fairly (if gently) described as low-information voters. If the results of numerous polls and questionnaires are to be trusted, they know very little about the world they inhabit and what they do know is often woefully incorrect.
Surveys conducted every two years by the National Science Foundation consistently demonstrate that slightly more than half of Americans reject the settled science concerning human evolution. They are not unaware that virtually all credible scientists accept the overwhelming evidence that we evolved from earlier species. They simply choose not to accept that consensus because it doesnt comport with their deeply held beliefs. Many also embrace the absurd notion that the earth is only six thousand years old. Astonishingly, in the early 21st century, around a quarter of our citizenry seems unaware that said earth revolves around the sun.
It is a mistake to regard concern about such ignorance as effete snobbery or elitist condescension. While misapprehensions about basic astronomy, earth science and biology may have little impact on these folks daily lives, does anyone actually believe that similarly uninformed views arent likely to affect their grasp of policies regarding, say, climate change? Income inequality? Gun violence? Immigration?
Profound knowledge gaps like the aforementioned reveal an inability to think critically and leave a person vulnerable to all manner of chicanery. We are all ignorant about many things. Dont get me started on my dismal grasp of mathematics! But the hallmark of a sound education is not glorying in what you think you know, but, instead, appreciating the vastness of what you dont know.
If ignorance is the key that opens the door for charlatans like Trump, improved education, whether in school or in the public square, would seem to provide an obvious solution. But here we confront the perverse Dunning-Kruger Effect identified by psychologistsessentially, the less we know, the more certain we become of our superior knowledge. We have also discovered that exposure to facts and evidence does not always have the expected impact. Many people, when confronted by irrefutable proof that some core belief is incorrect, dont change their minds but dig in their heels. What feels right to them must be right and no amount logic and reasoning will dissuade them. Emotion trumps evidence.
Not too long ago, I fell into conversation with a woman aboard an airplane. Our chat somehow turned to health care. She offered the opinion that people who couldnt afford health insurance didnt deserve medical services. Why should she pay for someones care when they were obviously too lazy to earn their own money?
Because Im my own kind of fool, I rose to the bait. Did that mean they should be allowed to die in the street? I wondered. Well, no, she said. That would be inhumane. They could always go to an emergency room. So she was willing to pay for their care, I observed, but only in the least efficient, most expensive manner. This gave her momentary pause, but she quickly regrouped, simply repeating her prior assertion: Why should she pay? I didnt ask who she planned to vote for in the then-upcoming presidential election, but given that she had also voiced the opinion that women were, by virtue of their gender, unqualified to be news anchors, Im guessing it wasnt Hillary Clinton or Jill Stein.
She is hardly the worst example of an unthinking voter. Bill Maher once invited onto his show former GM Executive Bob Lutz. One supposes that such a fellow has benefited from an adequate education and that hes open to reason. Yet, when the subject of climate change arose, Lutz denied it was happening. A bunch of nonsense as far as he was concerned.
As it happened, Maher had also invited Neil deGrasse Tyson, an astrophysicist, educator and Director of the Hayden Planetarium. Tyson patiently explained why Lutz was misinformed. The planet was warming. Humans were largely to blame. This is how we know.
You might expect an educated person to respond by at least engaging on the topic. Tyson was, after all, vastly more knowledgeable on the subject at hand. Had their roles been reversed, with the topic being cars, I have no doubt he would have deferred to the automaker, asking questions, trying to improve the state of his own knowledge. Not Lutz. You could see him shutting down before Tyson had even warmed to the topic (no pun intended). As Upton Sinclair famously put it, Its hard to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on him not understanding it.
youtube
Anyone who has watched the focus groups of Trump voters has seen this sorry dynamic played out again and again. Everything, no matter how tawdry or malicious, is excused or minimized. You get the feeling these folks would accept the sexual molestation of teenage girls as a trade-off for Neil Gorsuch. In fact, many did in supporting Roy Moore.
Welcome to the Post-Truth Era.
Much has been written about the impact social media and the internet in general have had on how people receive and absorb information. By now, we are all familiar with bots, trolls, phony scandals and the tendency of folks to hunker down in their own info-silos. The old adage that a lie is halfway round the world before the truth gets its socks on has never been more salient.
Consider the recent attacks on one of the young Parkland shooting survivors. A teenager who had just witnessed classmates being gunned down at his own school quickly discovered that speaking up for common-sense gun regulation resulted in vicious trolling and the viral lie that he was a paid crisis actor. This was similar to what befell the grieving families of the small children murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary School in 2012. Imagine waking one morning in a state of searing grief over the violent death of your baby to discover that some odious prankster like Alex Jones is telling his gullible audience that the whole tragic incident was staged, that your child was actually a paid performer doused in artificial gore and posed in a gruesome tableaux of death.
That Jones and his ilk have not been thoroughly shamed and driven from the public sphere says a lot about our growing tolerance for vile nonsense.
Trump did not invent Fake News. The Big Lie has been the stock in trade of con men and tyrants since time immemorial. But he understands its value. Alternative facts as his lickspittle factotum, Kellyanne Conway infamously put it, has long been his metier. Hes a bullshitter, a phony and now hes our president.
This shouldnt have happened. But we let it happen, though Trump did have plenty of help
Unsurprisingly, the Fox propaganda machine and any number of right-wing radio ranters enthusiastically clambered aboard the Trump Train. They were abetted by many in the mainstream media who, mindful that Trump lured eyeballs to advertisers and too timid to call him out as the carnival barker he so obviously was, went along for the ride. A number of Republicans in Congress dismissed him at first. But when it became clear he had a shot at winning and that his devotees comprised at least half of their party, they scurried to adopt him as their useful idiot.
Its true that we are not all equally culpable. Roughly three million more people voted for Trumps chief opponent. But the right-minded among us didnt do enough to forestall the plainly looming disaster. The proof of that is the Trump presidency itself.
So, if we in our various incarnations are the problem, then what is the solution? Is there any way out? Wed better hope so. Whats certain is that its on us. We made a wreck of our government and its up to us to fix it.
There are positive signs:
A once compliant media has begun to take the gloves off. Genuine conservatives, outraged that their movement has been hijacked by philistines, are sounding the alarm. People are rising up and calling BS. For every Sean Hannity there is a Rachel Maddow, Jake Tapper or even Shepard Smith (at Fox News, no less!). For every Paul Ryan, there is a David Frum or Max Boot. Frothing crowds at CPAC are countered by the #MeToo movement and impressively eloquent teenagers fed up with politicians of any stripe who cower before the gun industry. On a good day, a John McCain or Jeff Flake will stand up to the cringing accommodationists in their own party. And, of course, Donald Trump himself, along with his corrupt lackeys, face a formidable foe in the person of Robert Mueller.
NSA Director Admiral Mike Rogers recent testimony before the Senate Intelligence Committee should mark a turning point, though he merely confirmed what has been apparent for some time: that even as our nation is under attack from a Russia determined to subvert our democracy, the president has not directed any relevant agencies to defend the country. This is a violation of the oath Trump swore on inauguration day and smacks of treason. We have entered uncharted waters.
Whats clear is that we need to use all non-violent resources at our disposal to rid ourselves and our country of the dangerous infection spreading from the White House into our body politic. These are not normal times and our usual reflexes will no longer suffice.
Trump is a problem of our own creation. We must become the solution.
Ron Reagan is an author and political commentator who lives in Seattle and Arezzo, Tuscany.
Read more: https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-problem-isnt-just-trump-its-our-ignorant-electorate
from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2Daf3yw via Viral News HQ
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