#but she couldn’t sleep for hours
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Chloe during the golden hour is one of my favourite sights ever to see~ o(〃＾▽＾〃)o
Shh… I haven’t posted these on my Instagram yet 😅
#Max posts#Sorry! I changed my username after I made this post :3 The watermark is old my IG is now polaroid.punk but Chloe’s link is still the same!#I couldn’t resist sharing these photos#I love her so much and she’s just so beautiful!#I want the world to appreciate her ( ^ - ^ )#…But I also don’t want to share these photos because she’s all mine >:(#Nah#I want everyone to see her beauty ( ^ - ^ )#But she IS still mine >:(#Hehehe#Max you need to go to sleep >.<#I need to stop posting on this blog when I’m sleep-deprived…#But I wanted to shareeeee!!!#I took these photos like a week ago and didn’t get to share them anywhere yet!#life is strange#max caulfield#max caulfield blog#life is strange cosplay#life is strange fanart#pricefield#chloe price#chloe price cosplay#lgbtq#Pricefield cosplay#sapphic#photography#portrait photography#golden hour photography#LIS fandom#my photgraphy
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if nobody’s got me i know a large vanilla latte got me can i get an amen
#i work a split shift today :)#so like. 11 - close#amazing!#but so i wanted to get a good sleep so i went to sleep at 1#anticipating a good 8-9 hour sleep#especially since it’s saturday like my roommate doesn’t work she sleeps in!#nope! she was up at 5 am :) crashing around :)#and she went out and then came back with a friend??? and i could hear them talking and shit??#by the time they left i knew i couldn’t fall back asleep#and ofc my brain is not kind to me today#loneliness really fucking sucks guys like i don’t recommend it#losing 3 friends in the span of two weeks is a talent#but i only have myself to blame!#i am literally the epitome of pushing through day by day#lindsay.text
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i think the craziest part of the percy jackson series—(warning i’m gonna be talking about child abuse)
—is that sally married gabe. “she was using him to hide percy’s demigod scent.” she married a man who physically abused her child. like. i get it’s a very nuanced situation and that demigods literally don’t even exist but yk what does exist? moms who marry men that abuse their children… like girl. there are plenty of bum ass men who smoke weed and eat pizza and looove their ciggies and instead of abusing ur kid they would straight up ignore him and if they were a demigod their scent would STILL be hidden
#sol’s orangutan hours#idk being hungover is making me nostalgic <3 like im experiencing memories thru another pov hehe <3 <3#ok no jk that’s fucked up and also the last sentence of the post is giving v much “umm just don’t marry bad men 🥸☝️ its not that fucking ha#d#but sue me i’m just a girl i remember reading a book in the eighth grade where this girl was in percy’s shoes and she got so pissed that sh#threw a glass bottle and him and then made a run for it#and her agreement was that if she could do that as a child why couldn’t her mom fight back for her daughter#*argument…. ugh i’m literally feeling crazy rn lemme make some typos#it was a peter pan retelling and i agreed heavily w that at the time so ik my opinion of thag should have prob changed as i’ve grown up#but it hasn’t bc like… that’s your kid. your tiny kid. and your letting ur grown man put their hands on them#*youre!!! omg… i need to go to sleep#and also not saying that sally isn’t strong!! she is she literally survived that shit and protected her son#but while doing so she inadvertently contributed to his abuse#and i feel like that’s not talked about enough#hopefully i explained this well my tummy HURTS
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huge news! don’t want to die
sadder news: don’t know how to live
#i saw a poem from the perspective of someone who had just died in their sleep#retelling how it felt to die and leave people behind and i went yeah!! i feel that!!!#i don’t want that either!!#now how do i live now that my world permanently changed#because i couldn’t express my feelings properly#and now she believes things that aren’t true#but i said them on 3 hours of sleep and i didn’t know what i was saying#is this just a mistake i live with for the rest of my life?#probably#i miss having a home
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one of my cats keeps meeping at me for fuss and I’m just like ‘FUCK OFF!!’
#owen.txt#I had a bath to try and make me more sleepy right#and she kept scratching at the bathroom door to get in AND THEN CURLED UP ON MY TOWEL!!#she actually already woke me up a few hours ago and I couldn’t get back to sleep#hence the bath in the first place#little bitch
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oversharing a bit more online bc why not!!! this post is about my ocd + therapy
#so my psych was okay but not thorough at all#she also said that /I/ thought i had ocd even tho it was my previous psych and therapist who said i did#anyways she did make a referral to see a therapist specific for ocd and accompanying disorders#i went through with the referral and scheduled an appointment for sunday#but now i want to cancel but im scared i dont have ocd and im not a good candidate#and maybe this is all in my head#but also i know it’s not#but then i’m like maybe the ocd is bad enough to like get therapy for#but then i’m like girl ur ruminating over this ….ur showing the symptoms#but i was literally having anxiety and couldn’t sleep about my therapy appointment and maybe im just a fraud#imma be sick#i think i have to go bc i didn’t cancel it 48 hours in advance#but i’m scared#😔
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lost an hour of grinding in my gacha game because I got distracted by the tumblr boopening
#it’s the last day of a special event and I need all of the time I can get in these last few hours#but the need to boop all of my friends was too strong#I haven’t been sleeping over gacha and boops 🥴 priorities#I don’t normally spam text posts like this whoops#the boopening brought me out of my cage#anyway. I’m still sick#still waiting things out to see if I get better or not#the last few days have been less terrible but I’m still hurty#I voted early and walking around in public kinda knocked the wind out of me so I’ve been resting and watching moomin#it couldn’t be avoided tho I HAD to vote bc it’s too important#voting is always important but uh. this election is a doozy and we all know why#a girl can’t be sick in peace. she has to worry about the impending doom that could be coming#impending political* doom#ugh 💀#bria.txt
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two days behind schedule for the next chapter of say it in french (and replying to ao3 comments) bc a horse at work has been sick. she’s okay now, but it’s been a long couple of days 😅
hopefully I’ll get it up still for Monday, we’ll see how tomorrow and the weekend goes 🫶🏻
#my boss is away#and her husband has been here until tomorrow when he leaves for the family holiday#so he walked the horse while I fed the others#but then I took over again and she came right around 9:30pm#but I couldn’t just leave her so I stayed with her for an additional hour and checked her throughout the night#it could’ve been a lot worse#and we’ve had it a lot worse#but I’m still knackered bc even though I set alarms to sleep/nap I could barely manage#too anxious 🥲#so yeah I need to catch up on sleep#bc I got told to do bare minimum today and sleep when I could#and guess who can’t nap to save her life?#me!!!#I just lay on the sofa for two hours staring at the ceiling#anyway I need to try and sleep now lmao#hopefully I’ll get some writing done tomorrow
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my mom said she might put me in therapy /derogatory
#/neg#:<#I want therapy but not like this#so what if I’m low empathy..#You could at least call me that instead of calling me psychotic for not idk… crying about my nephew breaking his finger#:( sigh#I expressed my concern hours /before/ he got the diagnosis#So what if it’s old news to me 4 hours later?#I did something to my elbow when I was 10 and nobody took me to the hospital because ‘I was fine’ as everyone told me#so what if I couldn’t move it for a week?#so what if sleeping was painful?#so what if I couldn’t do my chores or reach up and grab a water glass?#I already had two concussions so I /obviously/ can’t get any other injuries anymore#I’m immune now!!!#/sarc obviously#Sorry for ranting#it didn’t upset me before#looking back rn it just feel like my mom has always put my injuries on hold#I fall off my bike? So what! She’s broken her toe ANd her elbow! I can suck it up#I scrape my knees really really badly on the sidewalk and can’t extend my legs without immense pain for 5 days? I can suck it up!#now pain isn’t painful to me#no matter how much it hurts#<- if that makes sense
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so i realized that i’ve never shared any of my ocs on this blog before and i started playing ffxiv last night soooo might as well show my new baby!!! 💕 love her sm 🥰
#*ocs#oc: nessa#i decided to start playing last night after spending literal hours on other games sooo i was v sleep deprived#so like she’s got some things i don’t like (her last name i hate it now idk why i let the generator just decide 😭)#but anyways! i still love her sm already! …even though i’ve not been this confused over a game since trying wow in middle school#and now that i just found out about photomode 😅#i’m gonna be taking so many pictures of my floofy tailed girl when i can get on the computer tomorrow!#if you couldn’t tell i’ve been hyperfixating on ff lately
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kawareeeeeeeeeee~~~~~~~~~
#(aka me when my acid burns randomly start throbbin’ when i bend over :( it’s very inconvenient)#in other news this week absolutely s u c k s can i trade it in for a better one—#first there was that acid spill. which. like. ouch???? but the mark is still there and is apparently very obvious. which sucks#then the day after the acid attack™️ meself and one other guy were called out under the assumption that we were doing unnecessary overtime#with the ‘unnecessary’ part running off the basis that there’s a low sample volume bc one single monday had fewer samples than usual#and we were singled out j u s t because our taxi claims for last month were through the roof due to the fact that we live across the country#like??? hellooo????? why are you treating it like it’s my fault that i have to pay upwards of $24 (at least) to get home???#and??? excuse????? why are you extrapolating the previous day’s sample volume to the previous month’s workload as a whole????#but. m a n. the way the mildly higher up lady abruptly shouted at me for asking a question just. pissed me off. for some reason.#she was talking in circles regarding the future of our taxi claims#so i asked if we (now) had to submit a second claims form for the transport company dudes to compensate us#and she yelled at me to stop talking before i could finish :( sadded and annoyed tbh#though i get the feeling that she hasn’t liked me ever since i left some results she asked for between her desk and some other guy’s desk#and someone else had placed their notebook or sth atop it so she couldn’t find it. and she blamed me for it. ha.#that was a few weeks ago though. so. hm. i wonder if she’s still mad about that…#either way. i applied for a couple of jobs that are closer to my place bc screw travelling across the country for an hour every day#s c r e w hour-long train rides i’d rather sleep#i prolly won’t even get the other jobs but. oh well. that’s life ig
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sometimes working together on a thesis is like *she cant do her tasks because she’s busy with following classes I guess there’s really nothing else she does* me: oh its fine I get it I’m busy too sometimes you know if I can help you with anything let me know:)) vs. *I can’t do all my tasks on time bc well i work six days in a week and spend three nights a week doing volunteer work and oh because my thesis partner is apparently once again busy with following classes I guess she dumped all her work on my lap* she: oh you should tell me next time if you’re busy cause these tasks are really important :/ you shouldn’t like let them wait so long
#like yeah bitch I know they’re important that’s why I woke up early Monday morning to handle them but if you remember. I couldn’t cause you#did everything you were supposed to do wrong:)) and#then I skipped my lunch because that was the only time I could make free to fix it but couldn’t :)) bc apparently you didn’t even do it#wrong you just didn’t do it you copied it from someone else whose task wasn’t even remotely the same:)))#and like I get that following classes is important I get it but I literally looked up her schedule she’s got at least four half days a week#that she doesn’t have any classes. I’m making literally every minutes I have time to do these things and she can’t manage to make some time#in those four afternoons???? so she dumps them on my to do them all in the one day of the week I got free and have also other things to do#which forces me to literally not eat and sleep to be able to do them????????#I’m so pissed our meetings are literally like me: ‘oh yeah I’ve got an incredibly busy week but I’m sure if I just work longer in the#evening and sleep a little less then I can make an hour free every day to do these interviews’#she: ‘that’s great that you can make time for that! I can’t cause I’ve got a class somewhere that day so can you do like all the work??’#like if she’s gonna dump me for the statistical analysis I’m gonna literally destroy all the data in my wake good luck doing the actual work#all over again next year#sorry I’m probably overreacting#she’s not that bad but she also needs to shut up instead of criticising bc I’m not doing all the work fast enough while she’s ‘so busy’ all#the fucking time#at least I’m doing the fucking work
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I’m starting to think my grandma has a camera or something in the room in staying in… I thought I was paranoid but she keeps overheating everything and even playing rain noises on my phone while I sleep is “too loud”
#help#she litterally heard my muffled laughter about a stupid Steven universe meme and thought I was on the phone mocking her bc her name -#is Crystal#like??? I’m sorry your name is a word?!#but HOW DID YOU EVEN HEAR ME??? it’s not even thin walls idk how this keeps happening#I had a panic attack bc she came in to scold me for being up when I couldn’t sleep (despite the fact I’m 25)#like I’m sorry my body likes to split my sleep cycle into two 4 hour rests??? I can’t help that I have sleep issues#I litterally could not sleep after that so I only got 4 hours of sleep.#stayed up planning my cross country move BACK to either Denver or Seattle
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it isn’t the end of the semester but i’m already having my end of the semester breakdown oh my GOD I am going to have a heart attack. sprite save me
#nothing is done!! not my applications not my interviews etc#I am running out of time to graduate in June and I could just graduate in august but then I have to admit to my family that I fucked up bad#it takes 3-6 weeks to get IRB approval I need to step on it#it’ll take at least 4 for my paid leave forms for work to go through and I don’t know if it’ll get approved#and if it does when do my benefits start#I feel like an idiot where those forms are concerned because it needs an occupation code and I don’t know if it’s specific#or if I can just select the one that best matches my job description and I can’t find that info anywhere#my body is literally shutting down I have two golf ball sized tumors and I can’t get out of bed but I can’t sleep#my car is kaputt and I have to call several different shops to get it seen because the one I took it to couldn’t fix it#and is any of it worth it!! is any of it!!#I cried for like three hours today bc I tried to talk to my mom about it and. well. she was very much a mom about it and not helpful#like yeah! obviously I want to graduate in June! but my research isn’t even approved because I haven’t been able to get myself#to complete the application for the last six months! Jesus Christ!#I can’t sleep and I’m so tired I’m so so tired my brain just straight up isn’t working!#I swear to god if I finally meet with my advisor and he does his well you don’t seem to need my help bullshit again#I’m gonna actually snap and kill him#anyway. need to do three things by end of Wednesday. just three things#clean. irb. and paid leave. that’s it that’s all.#it’s what I’ve tried to do the last four days and I’ve accomplished none of it but. Jesus Christ it’s gotta get done#FOUR THINGS I have to call the shop to get an estimate for a car I’m not even going to bother to fix#ok vent session over#delete later#fkdjdjshhaa im a MESS#sprite save me 😭#save me sprite. save me
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#i’ve been in a constant panic attack since last night the shower wasn’t clean i couldn’t find any cleaning products don’t wanna even sit on#the beds cause i doubt that if she didn’t clean the showers she probably also didn’t strip the beds all the way so i had to sleep upright on#the couch n only slept maybe five hours and apparently there was a spider in my hair so my aunt grab my shoulder start hitting my head but#we can’t go home because there’s severe thunderstorm warnings i just wanna go home and shower
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Man I gotta get like. Any of my plots going so I can rant abt the details of it.
#like mev all but helpless while she recovered bc doc was taking away her arms due to the violence? because Dari’s fucked up magic blood#hurts when it makes her body heal Far Too Fast?? and then when she’s got nothing else to lash out with she’s all snarls and snapping teeth??#cattra laying on her chest and her getting some half decent rest in??? very promptly getting so attached to her??? the wild panicked look in#her eyes when she’s still half asleep and realizes that doc is carting her off to clean her injuries again and that she’s never kind about#it when she does?? the walls of this stoic woman completely crumbling when there’s no other choice#and peipre hunched in a chair beside marrow as he rests and she’s gripping the armrests so hard her knuckles are white because she’s sure#this was her fault. he got hurt and she found him bleeding and half conscious after she stayed behind again and he almost died. and when dex#makes it into the room she pulls herself together and gives him the kindest rundown she can in the most professional way because it’s all#she’s got to hold herself together in the moment. and he’s just as worried as she is so she’s not going to worry him more with her whole#deal. and when she’s sure dex is going to stay she goes home and calls yarrow off work early and just lays in her lap for hours and refuses#to talk about it.#and sweets hardly resting for several weeks and outright refusing to get unplugged because he Has to be able to keep an eye on things she#Has to make sure that if something happens she can do something this time and he’s so much quieter than usual and when he finally does take#a weekend off again she sleeps so fucking hard with cattra and then feels bad for sleeping through so much of their time#and the whole. thing. that’s jouren’s got going on with mawris right now. they scare the hell out of him and he couldn’t tell you why. but.#if you asked. he would call them his friend. he couldn’t tell you why on that either. he spends so little time with them but there’s this#urge to return lately that. isn’t quite the call of whatever is going on with the mushrooms he’s pretty sure. he’s baking a lot about it.#um#character rambles#:P#I like rotating angst in my brain
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