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polarisbibliotheque · 2 years ago

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Nemesis (Vergil x Reader) - Chapter 2

Nemesis

Pairing: Vergil x Reader

Summary: The Abyss opening is a rare occurrence. In his youth, Vergil wanted to harness its power, but never thought he would meet his greatest adversary along the way. Years later, the Abyss is once again open and that might call for some rather unlikely alliances.

Chapter 1 (Prologue) | Chapter 2 (you are here!)

Age restriction: 18+ - there’s a lot of blood, violence, cursing and all those things people want to forbid younger audiences of seeing. Also, cosmic horror is a thing here. Procceed with caution.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Nothing too bad. The reader recovers, but has that empty existential thing that they've nowhere to go now.

Author's notes: Building your character! The reader has to be as badass as Vergil he wouldn't bow to a human weaker than him. Also, I've been playing with the idea of the Codex Daemonica for a while - Sparda and Eva needed to teach Dante and Vergil how Hell worked somehow.

Truth be told, I wanna write it and illustrate it. Might do it someday xD

Chapter 2

You thought you would wake up in Heaven.

The golden light of the afternoon painted the room in a warm embrace. You had no idea where you were – it looked like a small city hospital, seeming more like a cozy hotel than a home for doctors and diseased. While your eyes carefully scanned your surroundings, you found a young, kind looking woman – wearing a long, light green dress and white apron. She organized a few things around, finally looking at you after a while.

When she met your eyes, she opened a smile as warm as the sun outside.

“Oh, you are finally awake! Everyone is going to be so happy to hear that!”

“Where…” Your voice was raspy. You coughed a little bit, trying to clear your throat. It seemed like you didn’t use your voice in years. “Where am I?”

“Don’t worry about that. Your city… I’m really sorry about it. Everyone fled and searched for solace in here – we’re the nearest village around you. We were so scared to hear about what happened, but…” She glanced at you, questioning if she should keep talking. Your eyes had no feelings – it didn’t seem like the loss of your city affected that much. Perhaps you had already accepted that as you did your last stand. “We heard… Hmmm… Rumors. Of a last human who fought all the demons, ‘til the very last one. And because of that human, the demons didn’t spread to nearby cities.”

You shook your head while processing all those words. The nurse kept looking at you, clearly believing you were that human she was talking about. You matched all the descriptions, and you were left in the hospital’s porch quite injured – you, in the other hand, didn’t believe it was all thanks to you. A lot of good people died trying to protect the city, many of your colleagues. Good warriors, who didn’t go down without a good fight. They deserved the recognition too.

“How long have I been here…?”

“It’s been 5 days since you arrived.” The nurse giggled as you widened your eyes. You had been out for 5 days?! That was new… And it was impressive you even survived. “We were starting to worry… Your odds weren’t the best, if you allow me to say so. We hoped you’d be alright, but… You weren’t waking up. We thought you… Wouldn’t. I’m so happy you did, though.”

Once again you shook your head, processing all the information. It was a lot to absorb in only a few moments – and now, there was only one mystery left…

“How did I get here?”

“Hmmm. No one really knows.” The nurse sighed, eyes carrying honesty. “You just… Appeared. Someone carried you all the way here and left you on the door. The Head Nurse saw a dark figure through the window and saw you on the floor – as soon as she called us to help, the figure left. She doesn’t know who it was, but they ringed the doorbell and made sure someone would care for you.”

You furrowed your brows. There was no one left in the city, only you. The very few humans left were escaping on their own or left to die. You only had memories of fighting until your body gave out and you closed your eyes – finally waking up in the hospital. You had no knowledge of how you escaped the demons, fled the city and ended up there – and, apparently, no one else did either.

“Oh, they also wrapped you cozily around a big shawl so you wouldn’t be too cold. It was pouring that night.” You finally woke up from your thoughts as the woman handed you a midnight blue shawl; soft to the touch, enough to keep any wind or cold away from whoever wore it. “It seems like you have a very caring guardian angel.”

You smiled back to the nurse before she left the room. You kept running your hands through the soft scarf as you thought about everything that happened through the last days.

A guardian angel. You never thought they would be real – but if demons existed, angels should be real as well. It seemed fitting that your angel would be a dark yet caring figure.

You smiled alone, wrapping yourself around the shawl. After having lost everything, it was nice to believe you had a guardian angel watching over you.

“Can I help…?”

You had spent one week in the hospital and, by now, you already knew everyone. Your recovery, slow but certain, made every nurse, doctor and staff smile with hope – you were a case of certain death, but there you were: doing your best and fighting to stay alive.

It was the first time you walked out of your bed though.

“Y/n! You shouldn’t be wondering about!” Margaret, or Margie as everyone would call her, almost jumped out of her own wrinkled skin upon laying eyes on you. The very same Head Nurse who promptly helped you that night, she made sure you were resting and recovering. “Now, now! Back to your room!”

“You look like you need some help, Margie.” Your answer was calm, with a fun smile on your lips. She carried a pile of bedspreads and seemed to have a hard time keeping it all in her arms while trying to open the closet to organize them in. “C’mon, let me help you. I’m never recovering if I just stay tossed in bed crying over my bruised body.”

Margie’s judging eyes rested like glittering emeralds on yours. She was smaller than you, but that didn’t make her less commanding: Margaret could order around even the doctors – everyone respected her age and her experience.

Also, you thought everyone was a little bit afraid of her. She was a wonderful person indeed.

“Fine. But don’t you go jumping around like a gazelle. You need to recover.” Her words, even if harsh, made you smile.

“I’ll look after myself, don’t worry.” Your voice was calm and reassuring. It was the best way to deal with her. “You, in the other hand, look like you need help. What can I do?”

“Nothing. You can sit there and watch me.” Margaret pointed at a nearby chair – but you were as headstrong as she was. Pretending not to hear the woman, you took all the bedspreads from her, between her protests, and stood right by her side.

“Here. Now you can open the door and organize things while I hand you the bedspreads. A lot easier, isn’t it?”

“Oh, you are such a piece of work!” She shook her head in disapproval while doing exactly what you said. You just smiled back, watching carefully as you helped her fulfill her job. “I don’t know why you don’t go out to take a stroll in the garden. It’s much better than standing here like a broomstick by my side.”

“Hmmm. I like doing something.” You hummed back, taking a look at the sun outside through a nearby window. “Apparently, I’ll have enough time to stay around, so I can take strolls in the garden whenever I want to. I, hmmm… I guess I don’t want to think too much right now.”

“Oh, why is that? Thinking is always good, dear.”

“I know, but… I don’t know much what to do now.” You shrugged, trying to contain a sigh. “I don’t have a place to go after here. I guess… I’m trying to avoid thinking what I’m going to do after I fully recover.”

“Don’t you know any of the other survivors…?”

“I do, I just…” Now you couldn’t help but sighing. “I was left behind. I went back to save the children who didn’t make out of the city’s orphanage, but then my… Hmmm… Friends left without me.” You turned silent for a while, not even noticing Margaret staring at you with those beautiful emerald eyes. “I’d like to see the children, to know they’re ok. But I don’t feel like meeting everyone else… As far as they know, I’m as good as dead. If they even remember I exist. So… Yeah. I don’t really know what to do after recovering. I’m trying not to think of it so I won’t worry too much.”

You didn’t look at her as you were speaking neither after finishing your answer. The only thing that ran through your mind was a half anxiety attack questioning why you were opening your heart to another human being even after all that happened.

You concluded it was because you saw no threat in an old lady like Margaret. She could be threatening like a grandma, but she wasn’t a threat to your fragile heart.

Now kept safe behind layers and layers of stone walls you built around it.

“Well, well…” Margie finally spoke again, returning to her task. As you did before, she decided not to annoy you with a scrutinizing stare – it seemed like you would feel more comfortable if she kept the conversation as casual as you did. “You should help me this week, then. If you do a good job, you can stay around.”

You looked back at Margaret, noticing a small smile hidden on her dry lips. Your own smile reflected the golden bloom in your heart, as you continued silently helping her with the bedspreads.

Even if you didn’t end up doing a good job that week, Margaret had already decided. The hospital would take you in, for as long as you decided to stay.

Turns out, having you around the hospital was a very good thing.

As you slowly recovered, the staff realized how strong you were. Being a warrior, using your skills to protect your city until it fell, the hospital chores were easy and mundane – nothing like a day of tireless training to perfect your grip technique or your footwork on several situations with all kinds of enemies. Fixing lightbulbs or carrying groceries was quite peaceful compared to that.

As you started running errands for the staff, people around the town got to know you – and who you were. Always wearing a beautiful deep blue shawl, you were the one who posed the last stand and didn’t allow the demons to swarm the other cities. There was quite a sense of reverence – and even fear – you were never used to feeling before.

“Oh, if it’s not my favorite customer visiting me today! Hello, y/n!”

“How are you, Pepe?” You smiled peacefully as you heard the loud greeting of the bakery owner as soon as you stepped inside. “Business going well as usual?”

“Better than usual! You see, with the recent increase of people, there’s an increase in birthdays too. I have a huge order for a birthday party today!” His smile was contagious under the carefully sculptured moustache.

“That’s great to hear. I hope you can take my order too, though.” You leaned on the counter while his wife was busy helping a customer nearby.

“I can always take your orders, y/n. Everything for the one who helped save the city.” He had kindness in his eyes as you brushed the compliments away. You never knew what to do with yourself when people spoke to you like that – you were used to being bashed or, at least, invisible. “And everything for the hospital too, of course. What do you need?”

“Hmmm, Margie gave me a list, should be here somewhere…” You searched your pockets until you found a quite generous piece of paper. Pepe just stared at you, as you stared him back. “You know Margie…”

“Don’t sweat it, kid. I got your back.” He winked while taking the list and examining it with quick eyes. “It’s going to take just a while, the bread is in the oven. You’ll go back to the hospital with fresh, warm bread! How does that sound?”

“It sounds more than great, Pepe. You’re a lifesaver.” You smiled back, making him light up as bright as the day outside.

“Oh, that makes us even then! Have a sit, make yourself at home! I’ll bring you some tea!”

You didn’t even have time to answer: Pepe had already left in search for tea and something for you to snack while waiting for your order to be done.

“Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt…” The other client, though, caught your attention before you could sit. “But I heard you both talking… You’re the one who defended the city? Before the demons and the Abyss destroyed it?”

“Oh. Yes.” Honestly, who wouldn’t have heard Pepe? You couldn’t even blame that random person. “Not just me. But I was one of the people who fought that day.”

“Well… I don’t mean to be rude or anything… But are you open to side jobs?” As the man asked, you furrowed your brows. You had never thought of that as a job. “I mean, as a hunter. My family is having problems with demons in a city nearby, they need a hunter’s help. We don’t know anyone… We can pay you well for your trouble!”

A demon hunter. You had never thought of working as one before – sure, you heard of them, but your city had a strong line of defense against human and non-human threats. Sure, it wasn’t enough to save everyone, but it did manage to save a few people. Given that, you never needed to hire a devil hunter and that was something quite rare to see where you came from.

It was a good opportunity to put your skills to use, to help you keep refining your skills. If you met that blue coated demon again, you’d need to be at your very best – no, you would need to be better. Being a hunter would help definitely help you as well as give you an opportunity to help financially at the hospital.

“Yeah… Yeah, I’m open to that.” You snapped out of your thoughts in a matter of seconds. Maybe it would be the best way to find the blue coated demon and kick his ass for good. He deserved it – and you would never relax until you met him again and had your rematch. “I can work as a devil hunter. How can I contact your family?”

That marked the beginning of your career as a ruthless demon hunter. No one around had your skills and people would go to the hospital to treat their injuries as well as to hire you for eventual jobs.

It became something so common, Margaret instructed the reception to ask if the people coming in needed health care or were searching for the services of the in-house devil hunter.

You never turned out a job, though. As difficult as it sounded, as far as it was – you always put your midnight blue shawl and prayed in a murmur for your guardian angel to bring you home safely. You also prayed for your angel to protect you during the hunt and, if the blue coated demon appeared, to give you the strength and aid to defeat him. After the Abyss incident, that blue demon became your greatest enemy – the only you weren’t able to easily beat; the only whose skills, and pride, matched yours.

And you absolutely hated that.

The amount of knowledge surrounding the Abyss was perfectly… Unsatisfying. That’s what you thought, at least, during your arcane researches in the hospital’s library.

Whenever you weren’t helping around, running errands or hunting, you took your time to gather as much knowledge as you could regarding the Abyss. In your town, you only learnt it was a place out of the human world, carrying the “greatest horrors of mankind”. And that was it.

As one of the city’s warriors, you were in charge of defending it and its people – you knew of the Abyss, you knew it could manifest and open at any time, even if it wasn’t a common occurrence, but… That’s how far your knowledge went back then.

And you would argue that was how much everyone else in the city, even the elder researches, knew about it.

The Abyss had destroyed your city and had almost claimed your life. It made you encounter the blue coated devil for the first time – and burn inside for a rematch. Every time you thought of him, you wanted to punch that arrogant attitude out of his face. He was looking for the Abyss, and he probably knew something about it that you didn’t – you could bet wherever another fissure to the Abyss opened, he would be there.

Whatever that demon wanted with the Abyss – and whatever that darkness harbored – it couldn’t be good. You would stop anyone from entering or exiting the Abyss, even if that costed your life – and whatever the blue demon wanted with it, you would always be there to stop him.

Aside from that, you also searched for a way to close it for good. When it came to Hell, there was the legend of Sparda: the demon who rebelled against its own kind to lock the gates of Hell behind itself, finally settling down on your side with a human. If Sparda closed the gates of Hell forever, you could close the openings to the Abyss as well.

You just had to find a way to do that.

With an audible sigh, you leaned your head on your hand, surrounded by old, decaying tomes while sitting at the grand oak table of the library. The entries regarding the Abyss were always minimal, one page with big letters at most – and none of them gave you much information regarding its details: what the hell it was, what was in there, how far it went, its landscapes, what kinds of creatures inhabited its shadows, its hierarchies…

There could be a Codex Abyssae just like there was the Codex Daemonica. Since you had started working as a hunter, you practically knew the Codex by heart – knowing most demon species, their hierarchies in Hell, how powerful they were, the circles from Hell, their strengths and weaknesses… But even the Codex Daemonica had just a little note regarding the Abyss.

Your researches would prove to be very tiring indeed. You needed to speak to a creature who actually knew more about it – maybe you could even write your own Codex on the Abyss after gathering the information you needed.

If there wasn’t a book about it, you would have to write your own.

“Y/n! It’s time to stop reading and go to work.” Margie snapped you out of your thoughts as soon as you decided it was time to go deeper on your research.

“Another client?” You stretched your back – even if you sat with a good posture whenever you were reading, with time, you always ended up melting on your chair and looking like a piece of ice cream that was kept away from the freezer for far too long. “Demons?”

“No, it’s worse!” The man in charge of hiring you ran forward, nervously holding a little hat in his bony hands. “It’s… We don’t know. We think… It might be the same thing that happened to your city. You must help us! Please!”

“The Abyss…?” You immediately got up from your chair, already searching for your great silver sword and wrapping yourself on your deep blue guardian angel's shawl. With time, you found a use for dual guns and shotguns, as well as a combat knife for emergencies. You had read about summoning swords with arcane energy, but you weren’t yet strong enough in your arcane magic to be able to do that. You still had a long way to go – enter the use of guns. They were very practical when it came to fighting a swarm of demons. “Lead the way. Depending on how things look like, we’ll have to evacuate your city.”

“We’re already doing that, but we heard about you and… You can help us do it safely! You can stop the demons… Can’t you?” The man’s eyes were filled with horror while yours didn’t flinch for even a second.

“Every demon around will try to access the Abyss, just like it happened to my city.” Your answer was certain as a stone, while you finished gearing up. “Yeah. I can stop them. Every single one of them.”

Even the ones who wore blue.

“Be careful, dear… You have to come back and help me with the laundry on the weekend.” Margaret held your arm before you left the library.

“Don’t worry. You’re not gonna get rid of me this easy, Margie.” You winked at her; the confidence in your eyes reassuring and making her relax a little.

You were certain he would be there – and it would be the perfect opportunity for you to start the research for your own Codex Abyssae.

To be continued...

#devil may cry #dmc #devil may cry fanfiction #dmc fanfic #devil may cry imagine #dmc imagine #vergil sparda #vergil x reader #vergil x you #long fic #dmc vergil x reader #nemesis #dmc nemesis #oh yes you got a guardian angel now #who knows how you're gonna react when you realize who is said guardian angel :)#also another war commences:#Vergil and the reader competing who can write the codex abyssae first ;)#hope you like it!

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steamberrystudio · 3 years ago

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Finished all the routes some time ago and haven't been able to stop replaying! There are some scenes in particular I've bookmarked that I enjoy coming back to (I will never not laugh at the training mishap in Magnus's route). The game is so good, and it absolutely deserves more recognition!

Just the sheer amount of lore and world building that went into this is mindblowing! You've obviously put a lot of care and attention to detail in this, and I can tell it was a product of passion and love. Normally I don't care much for scifi. It's a genre I like only in theory and not in practice, but Gilded Shadows just has that little something that makes it different. I can't really put a finger on it, but it's there and I'm all for it! I can genuinely say I Iove each and every one of these boys and their routes, and any one of them could be the "canon" love interest and I'd be happy (though I do prefer certain stories and endings over others).

I really appreciate you not changing/dropping Caleb despite ealier backlash. Hearing the journey you took with him, I can only applaud you for sticking with him till the end and letting us smooch this angry adorable man!!!

Anyways, I hope you don't mind if I ask a few questions, two of them (hopefully) fun scenarios:

How would Jack and Caiuss react to Magnus's "big reveal" and what he'd been through? What were the reactions of the people Magnus told?

What kind of grandfather would Keres be?

Say ROs and MC have a daughter. The daughter, in all her youthful naivety and with rose tinted glasses, starts dating an actual human dumpster fire. A hot human dumpster fire, but a human dumpster fire nontheless. How do they handle the situation, and how would they react if, in an argument about the daughter's beau, she cries "But daddy, I love him!"

Haha. That training mishap was fun to write. XD I always felt bad I ended up needing to tell it as a flashback to make the scene flow better - and no one was able to see the training room lighting go blood red as the alarm starts.

I encounter a lot of people who say they don't like science fiction - I'm also not really sure what it is that turns people off. I know hard SF tends to put a lot of focus on the science and technology, which I absolutely don't do. I like using a bit real science, then going completely off the rails with it. There's a lot of fantasy in my science fiction for sure. I guess I just also try to keep things familiar because I feel like society is a very slow moving beast. Despite that there have been a lot of changes in the last 500 years on earth…people are people. And a lot of things have actually not changed at all. I like writing science fiction that feels like a natural progression of things I guess - at least in the sense that society still has a lot of the same problems. Different situations and context, yes. But people make the same mistakes they've always made and often with the same outcomes.

I like SF that has that sort of familiarity and feels like "Yeah, that sound about like something humans would do." LoL

Now to your questions!

I don't think Jack would be surprised. He didn't stick around long enough to see the full fallout of what happened, but I imagine he does know something happened. And Jack is very aware that at least some of his anger is misplaced. I suppose knowing the full details might have him redirect more of his anger towards the council, but the only thing that would make him truly move past his anger at Magnus would be Magnus showing up at Cordis asking for their help to topple Endgame for good. Caissa, I imagine, has always been a bit more sympathetic to Magnus. He just doesn't like him much. Knowing why he is the way he is would make him like him…a little more, I suppose. Otherwise, Magnus didn't tell anyone what happened until he tells the Guard at the very end of his route. So their reactions are there. Angry, rib-cracking hugs and lots of tears. Caleb probably used hugs as on-going threat for a while. And if he didn't, Van definitely used Caleb-hugs as a threat.

Stupidly loving and stupidly protective. He would spoil any grandchildren so badly. LoL. He'd be a disturbingly docile teddy bear around his child and would probably take the approach of chopping the fingers off anyone who looked at them sideways as a way to deter anyone from considering harming them.

Ari - would ask her what she loves about him. Would literally have her make a presentation about what she enjoys about this dumpster fire and why they are worthy of her. What are his actual good qualities, how will these qualities lead to a long term and healthy relationship? How does he show respect for her? What kinds of things does he demand from her and are they fair, etc, etc. He would make her be so thorough she would hopefully come to the conclusion he's trash all on her own. Caissa - Let's be real. He'd play dirty and the dumpster fire wouldn't have a chance. Caleb - He'd handle it poorly. MC would have to sequester him from his offspring and handle the situation to keep the situation under control. Ari would have to babysit him to keep him from committing murder. Then he would try Ari's presentation approach - half because he thinks it might work and half for punishment. Jack - Wallow in self loathing and determine he should never have become a father. MC would have to handle the situation because Jack would be a huge baby about it. Caissa would have to babysit him to keep him from doing something stupid. Then they'd go do it together instead because Caissa is a terrible babysitter. Lance - Talk about it calmly and rationally. Similar approach to Ari but not an actual presentation. He'd just ask a lot of questions and point out all the logical fallacies. He'd also quietly sabotage the dumpster fire's…..*everything* to prevent this person from every coming around his daughter. Ever. ^_^ Magnus - *sweats* Quill - This might not be an issue for Quill. Neo Human children mature differently and NH parents are very…laissez-faire when it comes to child rearing. He'd assume his daughter would handle it on her own. Reuben - He'd be prepping for a full criminal background check before MC and Uncle Wynter stage an intervention and handle the situation themselves. Reuben would struggle a lot. A LOT to respect his daughter's agency (of course, if his daughter is still a minor, he'd intervene if he had to, MC or not). But he'd try to help her see reality without overstepping. Yuu - Would approach it honestly and logically. But if his daughter insisted, he would allow her to choose - under the agreement that he will step in if the relationship becomes abusive in any way or seems to be harmful to her in any way. He would want to respect her agency but not at the expense of her well-being.

#gilded shadows #love interests #ari #caissa #caleb #jack #lance #magnus #quill #reuben #yuu #being frantic dads

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hournites · 2 years ago

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Hi there! While I know you aren't exactly the author behind those very quite funny JSA chat fics that I've been reading at least since the first trailer came out in July where Beth, Yolanda and Rick shade the heck out of our poor Court in a series of very teenage relatable hilarious text messages her relationship with Cameron I kind of do know that they're usually written by someone else for you because I've read some of your fics too (they're awesome) and so I was wondering if, like, is it possible if that Hournite author could come up with another JSA chat fic based on the recent events? XD I think we all could use another laugh in the aftermath of such an epic fight scene by looking at how ridiculous-ish it was that the JSA just got their first defeat at the hands of two old people and the unassuming art "creep" despite the fact that Beth unlocked Combat Mode, Artemis entered the fray and Rick had unlimited strenght and yet well, OOPS XD Sorry if this was random but I just really would love to read another of those and they're dedicated for you so please, could you ask that author to do one? :) I also enjoyed the last fic where they went in Rick's car singing Taylor Swift and the ride home was DEAD SILENCE XD Like now I do wanna read the aftermath in chat versions post-the silent ride home hehe. XD OK I RAMBLED TOO MUCH, Thank you for reading this! ^_^

Hi! I hope you're having a great day! You are a little confused but I am here to clear things up so do not worry! I am, in fact, the author for most of the chat fics that you are referring to. I started writing JSA chat fics in 2020 but never quite finished them, so I then decided to put together a fic where the theme is JSA nonsense but it's just all in chat here. Then, I met my friend and fellow co-host for the @starsquadcast Cam @bluevalleybreakingnews! Together, we put together that post-trailer chat fic in July - The JSA Group Chat Presents: "Breaking the Ice" so I am one of the authors behind that one! Then, following canon Camney, Cam continued with The JSA Group Chat Presents: Wiki Leaks and gifted the work to me since I helped her out with a few of the lines and we had previously worked on the last group chat together. We also have another group chat fic which is a JSA/ISA AU - Zoo Valley. So, all that to say, she doesn't usually write these FOR me.

She is the one who wrote the Infinity Inc trio Taylor Swift fic, though, so that one, yes, was all her and you got that right. But you don't have to go through me to reach her! Very conveniently, she posted last night that she's open to fic ideas and I'm sure she'll find your request fun so maybe we can whip something up :) But also quick note we're also two grad students who are podcasting on the side so just because I'm blogging, giffing, podcasting, fic-writing, working and writing a thesis at the same time without falling apart (maybe) doesn't mean I expect her to be ridiculous like me, so coordinating fics can be time consuming and might not be able to happen super quickly, but, we'll see!

Thanks again for sending this ask! Don't worry about rambling :) And don't forget it is a lot easier to directly comment on fics that you like so the authors know that you appreciate their work! Fic writers work very hard for free and do not get the recognition on the work itself that they deserve!

#ask #anon #fic rec #stargirl #hn talks #jsa #hournite

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thetragicallynerdy · 2 years ago

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hiya! it's me, the friendly not so neighbourhood mutual!

I saw the ask game and have to ask ye some stuff! Because I love yer writing so much.

I gotta know stuff about No. 4 (like other than OCs for fics but mibbe own stories as well), 19 and most importantly - 33! Yer writing is just so freaking good and deserves so much recognition and nice words!!

Stay safe <3

hey pal!!! awww thank you so much for the ask and for the kind words, I am a puddle of happy writer goo right now <3<3<3

4) Do you have any OCs? Do you have a story for them?

Yes and also no! I'm currently in the "if I publish something, there's a good chance it'll be fanfic with the serial numbers filed off" boat, because I keep getting sucked into writing fanfic hahaha. But I do have a few OCs that I would love to write something about - they were DnD characters that never got used, but that means they get to be repurposed haha! These are two of my faves:

Ezekiel - he/him, trans & gay cowboy lad who was a dnd bardbarian (bard/barbarian). He weilds a sword, a gun, and a banjo. A soft gentleman in his 30s who plays music for his friends around the campfire when he's not raging in battle. His story is roughly: was in a party/gang, fell in love with another member of his gang, and eventually decided to retire. His lover did not retire with him, and so Ezekiel lives on a farm by himself and tries not to be lonely. A story with him would be an old west novel, and probably focus on themes of finding family, maybe finding his old love (or starting anew), and getting off his farm and back into the world a little bit.

Tor - she/they, goliath barbarian (can u tell I have dnd class preferences). Weilds a one-handed battle axe, because her other hand was bitten off in a battle with a monster that also claimed the life of her kid sister. Tor is currently on a self-imposed exile, lending out their axe and their skills to travellers who may need them in an attempt to do some good in the world. They're big, quiet, and a bit awkward. A story featuring them would also focus on finding a home and maybe a bit of healing.

19) Share a snippet from a wip without giving any context for it.

Oooh heck yes!!

“Well now,” Aly says, voice quiet, even. Almost soft, but for the edge to it. “How on earth did you come to own a hellhound, Mister Sharpe?” Clayton looks at him sharply. “I beg your pardon.” Aly raises an eyebrow at him. “Don’t pretend that you didn’t know.” He shakes his head when Clayton just keeps giving him a hard look. “This must be the dog that Matthew likes, huh. No wonder it’s friendly with him.” “He doesn’t know?” Clayton says, tone a little stiff. “That Gus is…” Aly hums. “No, he’s never been good about recognizing his own kin.”

33) Give your writing a compliment.

Ooooh gosh!! Hmmm. Honestly I really like how I write dialogue! I think that I do it well :)

I also think that I have a knack for thinking of some truly mean ways to go about writing h/c or whump fics XD which is a good thing for those types of fics hahaha!

Thanks so much for the ask!!!

The writer ask game is here for anyone curious!

#this was so fun and you are very kind #writer asks #ask game #garlicenthusiasm

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matt0044 · 3 years ago

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So I’ve been keeping up with an Anime adaptation of the Jungle Book.

It’s an Italian-Japanese co-production with Mondo World in Italy. Yes, THAT Mondo World who created the infamous Titanic animated movies along with those Lion King ripoffs and North Korean military propaganda cartoons.

Stick with me on this.

I find that the studio’s better titles are the ones they co-produce with Japan, often letter the latter take the reigns in terms of animation direction and storytelling. They’ve done many based on Fairy Tails like Cinderella and classic novels like Zorro as well as historical figures like... Christopher Columbus.

Again, stick with me on this.

The Jungle Book was their first co-production and has been certainly one impressive interpretation of Kipling’s characters as well as stories. While it’s more lighter overall, it doesn’t stop things from getting heavy with Bagheera’s backstory involving being freed by a girl who was shot for the act.

There’s also blood as Mowgli and his friends face real perils of the Jungle from Shere Khan to rogue wolves like Grizzle. While the more brutal acts aren’t graphic, some of Mowgli’s victories involve him actually stabbing his opponents with a knife.

The secondary characters be they Anime original or adapted from the books certainly elevate the series. The Wolf Pack is on the fence about Mowgli but mostly come around to him when he grows up learning of the Jungle Law. His brothers, Sura and Akru, are definitely those “two guys” but prove to be supportive if any other wolves dare to talk smack about the adoptive sibling.

Luri is Mowgli’s wolf mother and one that surprisingly got one hell of a story arc in becoming the next leader of the Wolf Pack after Akela half-way through the series. At first, she’s a calm and wise mother guiding her child after their father’s fall at Shere Khan’s might.

However, she becomes more involved with the Wolf Pack when other threats prove too much. Specifically when Grizzle’s terrible trio enter the fray, she comes in to bring in Haiti as extra muscle to keep the peace. Luri then helps snuff out the rogue wolves through subtle planning before striking in the Cold Lair. This earns her recognition among the pack when Akela proves too old.

Who says mothers in Anime don’t do anything?

Lala, Akela’s granddaughter, is honestly my fave of them all if only for her attitude. She’s if Asuka Langley Souryuu was more well-adjusted in terms of family lift but still just as cocky often making potshots at Mowgli’s Shinji Ikari. She adds a good spice to the story with how being a little full of herself yet helpful when the chips are down.

When her father leaves due to leading another pack, she takes it out on the man-cub even after he saves her from a Cobra. His subsequent running away allows her pause to reconsider her actions and verbally admit that its was wrong of her to treat him the way she did.

From there, she’s more awkward but strives to be a better friend. She’s a brat overall but the kind you know is better than what she lets on, even as far back as episode three when she initially takes Mowgli’s Boomerang (his “fang”) but returns it after a heart-to-heart with Luri.

I kind of wish she was more involved in the second half like when Mowgli gets more in touch with his human side. She’d be so jealous of Mowgli spending more time with Jemeriah, maybe coming to terms with how she feels about him proper.

I also can totally see her biting Boldeo unapologetically. If not her, then Luri. XD

Overall, this is a surprisingly great take on a classic book and one that deserves more recognition. The English Version is full available on YouTube and surprisingly well done for a nineties translation. The voice cast are from CineGroupe from Montreal, Canada with voice actors you might recognize from Arthur or Sagwa of PBS fame. These guys know their stuff.

#jungle book #jungle book shonen mowgli #shonen mowgli #the jungle book #mondo world #italian anime #anime #cinegroupe #italy #italian animation #disney #rudyard kipling #mowgli #anime recommendation

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kitkatopinions · 4 years ago

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So let me get this straight: Hazel after killing all the huntsmen in Mistral and brutalising Oscar for most of v8 (and people dont come with "Ozpin took most of it" its still Oscars body???? Hello????) gets an redemption via death but Ironwood who we know since v2 and was always an ally and a really cool character till v8 dies as a iredemable villain???? How? Why? Its just so dumb... love you blog btw

You know, this reminds me of seeing posts that were like ‘RWDE posters are mad about Ironwood not getting redeemed and yet they don’t like Hazel or Emerald being redeemed???’ And just... Yes, Kathy, the two are incredibly different.

Ironwood has been a hero for seasons who has displayed flaws and made mistakes but was not ever treated as a possible future villain by the narrative, and he was treated as pure evil before he tried to do anything more evil than ‘saving the people he can since he can’t save everyone,’ but then started getting pushed into the maniacal heartless abuser villain role at lightspeed within one season + one episode of the show and (I cannot stress this enough) two or three days of in show time. Our main characters treated him like a monster without knowing about the more villainous actions for the better part of the season, without any of them wondering if there was some mistake, no sympathy given to the fact that Ironwood had his back against the wall or was suffering from mental strain or a horrible injury, no recognition of anything that the mains did badly that maybe contributed to the situation they were in. His ‘fall to villainy’ was outlandish, over the top, out of character, and lacking in any real emotional depth, they blamed him for all of Mantle’s problems despite him having done his very best to ‘go for both’ and Jacques Schnee and Watts being the actual ones responsible for the state of Mantle - as well as huge systemic issues that Jacques was purposefully trying to preserve. He then was (most likely) killed off by the writers who then laugh at how it was ‘always planned’ while no single person in the group of protagonists gives a care.

And on the flipside, you have Emerald and Hazel! Both of them spent seasons being three times worse than James at his worst (seriously, he at least had good intentions.) Emerald and Ironwood’s direct kill count is the same (one,) and Emerald contributed to the deaths of hundreds more at the Fall of Beacon, knowing what it would lead to, and only gives small, rare indications that she feels remorse for it (it’s almost sad.) And Hazel is hinted at being responsible for many of the deaths in Haven and spent his time blaming Ozpin for the fact he was actively trying to murder children. Both of them continued their villainy right up until the very season they got redeemed as they both continued working with Salem to bring down yet another kingdom and while Hazel was beating a fifteen year old, Emerald was eagerly volunteering to help Cinder try and murder Penny yet again. And then when it was revealed that Salem wanted to destroy everything including them, they turned out of self preservation without apologizing for their terrible, harmful, murderous actions. And then the narrative acts like Hazel was some martyr who taught Oscar a valuable lesson about not letting anyone else die and isn’t it sad he died before he could do the bare minimum to earn any sort of redemption. And Emerald winds up having friendly laughs and getting endearingly teased by the people she’s arguably hurt the most, with the girl she’d murdered right there laughing with them. And now she can get away with now being part of the group without any indication she’s changed, no apology, anyone that protests her involvement being scolded for their lack of trust...

One of these things is an incredibly badly handled hero-to-villain story, where they failed to get the beats of emotional depth for a fallen hero arc and rushed it instead without care, leaving it feeling out of character and out of the blue despite the small bit of groundwork that they had in place for the narrative.

The other two are incredibly badly handled villain-to-hero stories, where they failed to get the beats of emotional depth for good redemption arcs and rushed them instead without care, leaving them feeling very insincere and out of the blue despite the small bit of groundwork that they had in place for the narratives (mostly on Emerald’s side, Hazel gave less indication.)

Also we weren’t playing Yankee Swap, we didn’t trade in James as a hero for Emerald or Hazel, we just had three characters who were all handled badly.

But yeah, it’s really weird that the same volume where the writers were trying to force us to sympathize with Hazel was also trying to force Ironwood into an irredeemable category. The thing is, if I didn’t know about James’ never-mentioned-in-show semblance, I’d not be down for a post volume 8 redemption because I think trying to kill children and actively wanting to torture people as a full grown adult is kind of hard to get redeemed from. But Hazel did that, Hazel is just as if not MUCH MORE evil than Ironwood, so why on earth did the series treat Hazel as redeemable and kind of right and just needing a hand of mercy extended to him? Why was James ‘keep soldiers off the battlefield, turn my gun around because I don’t want to hurt Qrow even though I think he’s trying to murder me, look away from the Grimm while I shoot it’ Ironwood treated as the 100% deserving of pain and death and treated as totally irredeemable villain no one could sympathize with?

When you factor in his semblance it really just makes even less sense. I literally cannot comprehend why the RWBY writers do what they do. Also, thank you so much for the compliment on my bog! Sorry to kind of rant there haha. XD

#rwde #anti rwby #rwby bashing #rwby hate #anti hazel reinhart #canoncrit ironwood #canoncrit emerald sustrai #anti fndm #anti mkek

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fromthefishbowl · 3 years ago

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Good evening dear Fishie, buona sera *Luca Marinelli's voice*, what do you think about the fact that literally no one had mentioned troubadours' poetry in the context of Joe & Nicky's romance? Why there's a little bird saying to me that Joe was a travelling through Lombardy and Emilia Romagna when Fredrerick II went to Rome? And that he composed verses for his own very peculiar Midons? Am I the sappiest Joenicky fan in your opinion? XD

Buondì Kiki!

I have noticed that there's a lack of discussion regarding poetry, its history, and the headcanons that could easily go with the members of the Guard, but... if we're not here for this, when what are we doing, right?

Yes, Joe probably went crazy for troubadours' poetry. I have no doubts about it. And, even with the little information we have about their timeline, it's very possible that him and Nicky, as well as Andy and Quỳnh, had already reached Italy by the time Frederick II reached Rome and got himself the title of emperor (November 1220), which gives us a lot of possibilities for headcanons.

Considering Joe's romantic soul, he most definitely enjoyed the dynamics offered by that kind of poetry: the painful recognition that the person you love the most cannot be with you; the worship of the lover's figure (well... in classic troubadour poetry it would be "worship of the woman", but no matter how you headcanon Joe's sexuality, after he met Nicky his entire heart belonged to him and no one else); the inferiority of the writer when in front of the person he loved.

However, we could give it a spin to fit the TOG universe better; troubadours' poetry was often centered around the fact that the woman was the object of the poetry, idealized in her beauty but, most importantly, in her inaccessibility: she was either married or set off to marry or in love with another man. She was weirdly balanced between this idea of being an angel who could do no evil, and this horrible demon that was making the poet lust after her without giving him the possibility to satisfy his thirst and therefore deserved to be punished (a Medieval Madonna-Whore Complex, if you will).

Joe would never write about his man being a devil nor about him being married to someone else, but he would absolutely write about how much he worries about his husband suddenly losing his immortality and dying on the battlefield, so far from him (and Andy and Quỳnh) that it would take him hours to find his body. But he would fully embrace writing Nicky as being this little sex demon, this man who fills his head with a lust so fierce he can barely think. It's a compliment, of course, and Nicky is very smug about it.

I also feel like Quỳnh would be a trobairitz too, writing poems for Andy. Rather than focusing on her possibility of losing immortality, she would maybe write about the many years they have spent apart before finding each other.

Nicky... Nicky would create some poetry too, I think, and still in the same time period as Joe's fancy with troubadours style, but... he would be pissed. So pissed.

Frederick II was pushed by Pope Honorius III to start the sixth Crusade, basically creating an exchange of: "if you start a war, I'll crown you emperor".

Nicky would absolutely be seething at the idea that they're doing the same shit again, sending men to kill and to die for what the Church thinks is right. So, with Joe's help (and maybe Quỳnh's too), he would be writing sonnets, already very popular in Sicilian poetry, in the same style of Cecco Angioleri (here S'io Fosse Foco sung by De Andrè): poems with a base of parody, but also a lot of pulsing rage (the pope is purposefully playing with the lives of the Christians he is supposed to lead, the emperor has fun with the idea of being able to kill as many people as he wishes, etc).

Andy... Andy is a practical gal and she doesn't spend time with poetry.

#the old guard #tog history #tog #joenicky #andromaquynh #joe al kaysani #nicky di genova #quynh #andy of scythia #italian history #italian poetry #immortal husbands #joe x nicky #andy x quynh #fishie answers #kikibluemay

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genshin-obsessed · 3 years ago

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hi pocket! moth here, and as promised, i'm giving you word after word after word after word....

i got cicada to type some stuff down too since he also wanted to send something to you in congratulations!! <3 <3

----moth

congratulations on 6k! you're really rad and i genuinely think that you deserve all this support and love, it's just really nice to see that you've progressed so quickly and smoothly! you've put a ton of effort into things your write, your events, everything! your interactions with your anons are just so nice, and that's all because you're an amazing person!

when i joined the genshin fandom, you were one of the first blogs that i had run into, and that's pretty neat. at first, i didn't follow you, since i wasn't really used to your writing. but as i kept on encountering your works, i eventually grew accustomed to it- and i like your writing style! v swag :)

your oc, toxin, is just- perfection. i like the whole background thing, powers, but the fic i liked the most was the one where toxin attempts to poison you. my imagination can just run wild from there, picturing out what the character did after running out to go after toxin, but for zhongli's case how he took care of you + what he did after.

you, pocket, are a wonderful person- if you receive hate, you don't deserve it! 6000 seems like a large accomplishment, and it must've felt really nice to hit that number. a great person like you deserves the world, but the world may not deserve you. your presence alone on tumblr is practically a blessing, and i'm grateful for everything that you've wrote! not only that, but you've helped me become bolder and interact off anon. i think that's pretty neat, genuinely.

i'm sure many others think the same: ilysm(/p) pocket! even if i fall out of the genshin fandom(which i most likely won't bc of XIAOOOOOOOOOOOO <3 <3 <3 <3), i'll still revisit your blog. reading over your works always makes me crack a smile, whether it's angsty or not. your ability to write is amazing, and some of your works had even inspired a few of mine!

a collab with a person like you is like a dream come true. i look forwards to future interactions, and hopefully they're all positive! i support you no matter what, and you can't change that, hehe.

-your local xiao simp,

moth.

----cicada

hello, i believe you've never interacted or heard of me before? i go by cicada online, a friend that appears on moth's blog every now and then. they told me about your 6k followers, and i think that's pretty neat. to be honest when you told moth that you'd do a collab with them i was happy they chose you, since you're a really good person. pocket, thank you so much for everything you've done for me, moth, all of us- i cannot express my gratitude towards you, and i am proud of that because i can usually express my gratitude to others within words. however, since my gratitude towards you is off the charts, i cannot form it in words. regarding the collab, i will attempt to help moth with angst, however my help might not be needed. i thank you deeply, for fueling my everyday energy to get up. reading through your works gives me so much serotonin, and i appreciate that greatly. have a good day or night, perhaps afternoon, mx. pocket.

-cicada.

----any last words before we go sleep?

moth - ily, pocket! /p

cicada - thank you, congratulations. (note: get your well deserved rest, pocket.)

----goodnight, good morning, good afternoon wherever you are ! !

ok so like i genuinely started crying at this and I don't normally get very emotional. You both left me speechless, so that's one of the reasons why I'm taking so long to respond T^T

I'll split my response here to the both of you!

its kinda long- sorry xD also can I just call yall "the bugs" cuz its just so cute ;-; your names are adorable-

Moth, you are such a sweetheart. Like I said earlier, I'm not someone who gets very emotional! But your words brought tears to my eyes (tears of joy ofc) and it took me a while to respond because every time I saw what you'd written, I'd just have this giant smile on my face. I'm really glad you chose to follow me and I'm so happy you chose to talk to me! I always try to be fun and welcoming so that people who do wanna interact can do so, but I get it, there are so many people here it can get daunting.

But I'm glad you reached out! I'm so happy to have a friend like you! Ima be honest, the first few times you sent something in off anon, I was like "o.o they forgot anon-" BUT NOW LOOK AT YOU! Thank you, I really appreciate it. I'm actually pretty self-conscious about my writing but I try to do my best and post- even though I don't like what I've written, so your words really do help me! You're the type of reader every writer wants. Seriously!!

Ah, Toxin! Yes, I've had her as an oc for such a long time and then I finally perfected her! She's been in so many fics of mine and she's finally getting the recognition she deserves!! I'm glad you enjoyed that fic, it's one of my faves! I planned to do a p2 with some other characters but held off cuz I thought people would get bored- yet here you are, sparking my will to write it again!

I still can't believe I hit 6k! Honestly, that's so many people!! and they all like me and my stuff!! it's really hard to believe- there are days I think its a dream >.< silly, I know xD actually, when I first joined tumblr, it was because of BNHA and I saw this writer who had 10k followers at the time and I just was like "that's not even possible" yet here I am- 4k away T^T

I genuinely hope Xiao keeps you here, but if you have to leave for another fandom that's ok too! I can only hope we'll meet once again there too! I think some people in life are meant to be friends and are just meant to know each other! And I'll hope you're one of them! Cuz you're one of the awesomest friends I've had and I love you as well (/p)!! <333

Cicada, omg haiii!! I've heard very little about you since Moth took FOREVER to tell me there's another writer hidden back there!! I'm glad I got a chance to talk to you, even if it's like this! I'm not sure how much you know about me >.< seems like a lot so I'm sorry that I don't know that much about you!

Thank you so much, you're so very sweet and I can't express how happy your words made me. For a long time now, I always wake up and wonder how I can make my friends smile or laugh, and now that's extended to this blog. To hear how happy my writing makes people brings me so much joy that even I can't express it. I know there are many people out there who have lots of things to deal with in life and to know that my writing's helping them through that fuels me to write more!

I'm so glad I can do the same for you! We may not know each other- or maybe it's mostly on my end- but I still want to make you smile! I want to make everyone who stumbles upon my blog smile as well! Life can get hard and it feels so impossible sometimes but if I can give someone the energy to go on, then I'm pretty content with my own! Thank you for reading my works and thank you for telling me this because it really did make me happy.

Aw, thank you, I hope it's not too much! Though I specialize in angst (at least, I like to think so), I wanted to give Moth the opportunity to try! I'll do my best to make the fluffiest fluffing comfort you've ever seen!! Or uh something like that ^w^"

I really do hope that you and I can talk more so I can get to know you! Oh! And that google form- it was super adorable ^w^

You two are too kind and you best believe I'm saving this lil ask <3 you both very well made my entire week (along with that meme anon with those cute memes) and I'm sending you both hugs!! or cookies ^w^ whichever you prefer!

Also, it was nighttime when you sent this and now its 3am >///< i need sleep-

#🌸─ pocket tries #✧ ─ moth #✧ ─ cicada #you're both so sweet #this is one of my favorite asks #<3 #never change #you two

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staysuki · 3 years ago

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CHAPTER 24 WAS FULL OF DRAMA LMAO

OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL - wtf jeongin AHHAHAHAA is this some kind of commission why did he say yes to literally everyone who asked him out 😭 like imagine going on a dance with him and he just says "oops youre time has run out, next in line please" out of nowhere 💀 im not saying i find light mode weird pero parang ganon na nga. all my apps are on dark mode xd on one boring afternoon i tried light mode just because and i think im alrdy 50% blind ��️💧👄💧👁️

lol hyunjin dcurb mo ean but shes got a point, hyunjin told her to fuck off yet he initiated a chat to show his jealousy :"> well in his defense, hes confused af buT sTILL hyunjin hurt y/n so much by his words. aaaaaaa but aaaa puchaaaa bat aq kinikilig sa "what if you are" e hes the enemy rn 😠 lee know pakisundo po si y/n. blocking is indeed self-care 🥰 i love this y/n the best out of all the y/ns in your stories :>

--------------------- jajajsjajdjajdajsajdasjdsa---------------------

HAHAHAHAHA SELF-HIRED CUPID SEUNGMIN AT UR SERVICE 🙇🙏 HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA 😭 i mean is this even considered "cupid-ing"? hes literally just posing as y/n Y^Y and him complimenting himself as y/n is so funny HAHAHHA the chatting he used is even 1% close to how y/n texts 😭 unless she talks like that only to changbin huhu and how y/ns attitude changed so fast when the topic concerns seungmin breaking her phone 😭 and wow seungmin has a big problem :"< i think this will take a big turn later on,,,,,

I LOVE THE UPDATES TODAY <33333 ahha dick btw i am not professional at tumblr usage so im not sure if ur drafts will get deleted :<< and the app on my phone and ipad also is buggy, i thinks its just the update not sureee

ill be waiting for the experimental fic hehesz iM SORRY FOR SPOILING ,, ANYWAYS THE MV IS beautiful✨ WATCH IT IF YOU HAVE THE TIME 😩 the tattoos are really cuteeeee ,, and same if ever ill get one in the future, itd be smth related to their songs. i like the heart you made and the nice tattoo on your leg 😗 its rly cute and clean wow how were the other 12 mini tattoos you did? did it come out well?

SQUID GAME IS RLY RLY RLY GOOD but yes it will get more gory the longer you watch. i finished it alrdy and give it a 1000/10 ,, tho its bc i like watching stuff like those jfsbfas you think youll be able to finish it?

BTW CONGRATS EHALOJ IS GETTING MORE RECOGNITION NOW, I JUST REALIZED. you deserver it ash <333

- bs

indeed, i loved that update too 😤 though i think the final two updates are also chef’s kiss 🤌🤌🤌 and i’m excited to put those out.

playboy jeongin, maknae on top feelsz si mamser 😩. di siya papatalo sa harem ni y/n JSHWJSHSHS. dating speedrun vibes.

also i’m 100% on team dark mode as well but sometimes i miss light mode idk why 😩 plus i’m too lazy to label the diff perspectives so like, i’ll just do it by colour. YHAM kim seungmin def feels like a lightmode boi anyways 🤔🤔🤔

everyone hatin on hyunjin rn but its true, he’s v v confused and clueless about everything and he’s siding with yeji bc #family ahu 👉😔👈. “he’s the enemy rn” PLSSS. kiliq sana dun sa line if only nasend errr 💔. lee know-shii talaguh? what about seungmin and felix, they are also contenders 😩🤌. and also ty :,>>> i like her too, she’s very chill and mellow but not a pushover ifykwim. dun sa kim seungmin fic i’m going for the more suplada y/n route so let’s hope i can write that well :(((((

SELF PROCLAIMED CUPID THAT’S UNWANTED 😭💔 poor y/n. seungmin’s flirting game (as y/n) kinda weak 😩 and yes he can’t help that jokingly egoistic self compliment na super out of place JSHWJSHSHS. and yes, y/n def doesn’t talk like that but changbin isn’t that close to her so he hasn’t noticed yet 🤔🤔🤔 i wonder how that’ll go. seungmin is a menace™️ but also he’s a poor boy 💔💔💔💔. we stan #seungminperalta.

thank uuu <333 dick i loved it as well :(((( im probs gonna try save some of my drafts then try to redownload the app cuz its getting harder to use na 💔💔💔 esp with the pictures and see more text huhu.

imma write it once i get inspo or else it’s gonna be just a full-on 500 word drabble 😭. and its okay! i watched in na cuz i can no longer avoid the spoilies on tumblr. the song is so good :((( and letse akala ko naman sexy floor dance, parang yung sa back door movings lang pala 😭 either way seungmin still looking fine af. my boy finally getting the solo screentime he deserves 🤌🤌🤌🤌.

thank u for the tats compliment i worked hard on them :,)))) the others are a bit messy but i’ll be fixing them over the course of the week and i’ll post pics once it’s cleaner looking. i’m proud of the ones that i used my non-dominant hand to make hehe, multitalented queen shit 😩. i’m semi-ambidextrous but i didn’t think i can tattoo with my left hand, super amazing discovery, will flex.

i’ll be taking a long time in finishing it but i’m writing comments every time there’s a good scene just to keep my attention. i’m trying to overcome my gore problem as well but i rly cant handle looking at the screen when the killing scenes come up 😩.

AND THANK U OMG!! i’m also surprised that so many people are liking it 🥺🥺🥺 this is a picture of my notes (masterlist) back when i just started-ish the fic in june:

back then i was already like “omg theres so many people, let me list them down so i don’t forget them” and now theres even more!!!! so amazing honestly, it’s a good thing EHALOJ will be continuing for a long time :,))) i can’t wait to show everyone the different arcs hehe.

#anon: bub stop.#ehaloj thoughts

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loversandantiheroes · 3 years ago

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Which of Your Fics

Got tagged for this quite awhile by the lovely and talented @astroboots, (ty sug 💗) and it kinda got buried in my drafts. So in the spirit of trying to clean it out, here it is. I *think* this is all the questions that came with it, but it’s so far back I can’t find it. This will probably be exceedingly boring for everybody given how few fics I’ve actually contributed to the Pedro Pit so far. Apologies in advance.

Which fic did you think would get a bigger reaction/audience than it got?

None, really. I’m not trying to be humble, I’ve just got exceedingly low expectations. XD

Which fic got a better reaction than you expected?

Everything I’ve written in the last two years. I mean that sincerely. Partly just based on prior experience in writing fanfic (combination of still being pretty new to writing fanfic and writing some very niche stuff nobody was interested in), but also just...Case History got an insane reaction, and I sure as shit didn’t expect to walk into the Pedro Pit, toss out a Whiskey fic and get the response I did.

Which fic is your funniest?

Not sure on that one. Humor tends not to be a big focus, just a kind of a byproduct. I don’t think I can point to one.

Is your darkest/angstiest?

There’s a few contenders on that front. A lot of my earlier OUAT fics were horror-tinged or straight up angst-fests. My only TSW fic features my poor bee’s first death. At least two of my canon-ish compliant DW fics are angsty as all hell, and that’s not even counting Like Blood Running Warm, the vampire au, which...well I mean it’s a vampire au, ffs, there’s gonna be a body count by the time that wraps up. There’s also Structural Damage, which is my DA:I Cullen x F!Inquisitor fic that deals with Cullen going off of lyrium and that’s definitely not the lightest topic (though there’s a lot of that fic I’d like to go back and fix). And I mean Hotel Hobbies is starting to unearth the buried angst as well.

Is your absolute favorite?

God that’s hard. Part of me wants to say Jigsaw just because I put so much work into trying to make the sci-fi bullshit make sense for the sake of a fix-it fic and I’m just proud that I managed to finish it. Like it exists, it’s complete, it’s done, the nerds have been put back together and all is right with the universe. There’s also some damn good writing in there, too. But Case History is such a strangely special series to me, and Hotel Hobbies has morphed from a one-off “Whiskey deserves to get tied up and tormented and I bet he’d love it” fic to something a lot deeper and more emotionally grounded. So I don’t know. Three way tie?

Is your least favorite?

Oof. Restless. More DA:I fic. It’s not exactly bad, but it did not come out the way that I’d hoped.

Which was the easiest to write?

My memory is wonky, so that’s a tough one to pick. I’m gonna say probably Risk & Reward. That just sort of came out in a rush during a bout of anxiety, most of the difficulty involved was just trying to make sure everything was in the correct order (damn you, non-linear thinking).

The hardest?

I mean at this stage the next segment of Case History and Ch3 of Hotel Hobbies could duke it out for the reigning champion. I have too many fics that I’ve started and found myself stuck in. But I think the one that caused me the most like actual stress and agony was Structural Damage. I was trying very very very very hard to strike a balance with the portrayal of Cullen’s lyrium addiction, not wanting to handwave it as something easily fixed and not turning it into a “I will cure you by the miracle power of love and boning.” That and trying to handle PTSD in a respectful way and just...yeah. That one took a lot out of me. Somehow at least that prepared me for writing Side Effects, so the stress on that one was considerably less.

Which fic has your favourite line/paragraph?

Oh god I have a few. Jigsaw alone has so many bits I’m proud of. Here’s one:

He studies her, intent, almost desperate, as if she were a map of some place he thought he had traveled long ago, perhaps in a dream. His eyes search out familiarity, looking for a landmark in the darkness of her eyes or the upturn of her nose or the sweep of cupid’s bow above her lips. But then his eyes blur, losing focus, and his face falls. There is no recognition here; her face is still beyond the edges of his map. Here there be monsters.

I am also, of all things, very attached to this bit from Referral (Case History #7)

“I’ve been busy,” Alex insists, shoulders straightening. “Y’know. School stuff.”

An awkward moment of silence passes while Abigail shuffles for another pumpkin. It’s a lie. You know it, and clearly Abigail knows it, too. It might just be Pelican Town’s worst kept secret, right next to the Mayor’s pointlessly illicit “affair” with a single woman. Alex hadn’t been able to secure a sports scholarship after graduation, and without a proper college fund he’d been left with no real options. The kid was watching a dream die in real time, and was doing his damnedest to pretend it was still breathing.

Harvey would’ve understood.

Which fic have you re-read the most?

At this stage it’s somewhere between Hotel Hobbies and The House Call. The latter was very much written as a bit of comfort during a very very bad month, and re-reading it is very much a fictional hug.

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captainshazamerica · 3 years ago

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The redhood nightwing fight scenes look like they're gonna be dope af like thats all I'm thinking about how awesome the fight scenes are (hopefully) gonna be (I'm already finding it difficult to see this jason as redhood cuz he's like literally a child but I dunno what age he redhooded in the comics so??)

I had no idea tim was even gonna be in it !?! Can I please get some kind of recognition from the batboys that they actually view each other as brothers and family! 😢

Someone needs to kill the joker It'd be kinda interesting if old bruce killed joker and it'd be nice if that was the last thing he did as batman buuuttt then again it'd be a nice touch if dick killed joker for jason, it would personally be disappointing if joker was just let live not gonna lie i really want bruce to kill him and that be the reason he gives up being batman because he failed to protect jason and then he broke his no killing thing so he just hangs up the cape

we are getting FEAR TOXIN yassssss cue awesome nightmare ish fearscapes (no idea if that's an actual word but that's what I call when you get to see everyone's fear hallucination)

Kory I love you, I do ship dickkory however I feel like she's too good for dick and should marry me instead lol I wanna see how donna is still alive? and I know there's people who are like ughh hank dawn go away already but I really freakin like hank and dawn as characters even though their suits are ridiculous did they break up last season I can't remember? Hank needs a break poor man someone give him a blanket and a hug and let him sit the fuck down everybody leave hank alone

That line where babs is like don't try be your father and dick is like excuse me what you saying there Commissioner Gordon, that will never not be funny 😅😅😅

I ain't in love with this show it has so much potential it could be so lit but I do like it anndd they got suits now whoop!

Wait is this my previous Titans anon? (The one where we ranted about Jason, or the one thinking they hadn’t seen S2 but went to watch it and realized they had? Or are you the same person? xD )And if so are you the same one who asked for the comic and fic recs? Just wondering in terms of if I’m talking to one person or not hahaha

But ahh I got so excited when I saw I got an ask about this 😍

Omg the nightwing red hood fight already got me so stressed lol. It looks great but ahh angst! But I think Jason is like 19ish in most versions when he comes back? Though tbh I forgot what age Jason is in this , I’ll have to see when i rewatch it soon. Curran, the actor, is actually 23, he just looks super young/short. He got pretty buff though. But yeah, that is an unfortunate thing wi the them rushing it already but also, I’d rather have it like this than if they were gonna spread it out through the seasons then it gets cancelled or something (poor Gotham s5, RIP). I think he was the PERFECT robin jason Todd though. Like I love his acting and portrayal of Jason(“Titans are back bitches!” classic Jason), he just is young looking and short. Gosh I still wanna know if they are going with the Lazarus pit for Jason or not! But like that also begs the question of whether they are doing a time skip cause normally Jason is dead for like 2-3ish years, but it doesn’t look like it from the trailer.

And yes, I’ve been looking forwards to Tim!!! While the trailer didn’t show it, the actor was on set a lot over these last couple of months (I’ve been keeping up with their instagrams xD) and seemed super close with the cast! I can’t believe the first look we got if Tim was him nearly crying, though that look already won me over, I love him and he is my son now. But RIGHT! That’s all I want, is the bat bros platonic love, gosh dang it😭 that’s all we want DC😭

BRO! OLD MAN BRUCE KILLING JOKER WOULD BE FREAKING PERFECT. Dang it! Now I’m gonna be so disappointed if that doesn’t happen 🤣gosh it would be perfect, and normally I would be like it’s Bruce, they would never do that, BUT, this show does that kind of “edgy” stuff anyway so if it’s ever gonna happen(without the Batman who Laughs plot line happening(which would make a perfect dc animated movie btw)), it would happen in this show, especially with what was shown in the trailer with him giving Batman up. Man, now my hopes are up for that xD though I wouldn’t mind if Dick killed him. I would be shocked though if they had the balls to actually kill off joker though, dc seems to refuse to do that :/

Omg I squealed at the scarecrow part omg. Dr freaking Crane is a big reason I spiraled down this entire fandom tbh. Like literally a year ago I got obsessed with him for some reason and that led into the Bat hole where I am currently WAY deeper than I ever would have thought 😂 and while I’m not hyper fixated on him anymore, I still love him so much and is my 2nd fav rogue, and it mainly started with Jonathan 🥺 we barely even see his face and I am already in love with the casting, the voice is perfect. And I LOVE when villains have to help the heroes, that is like one of my fav tropes ever omg, I was really hoping they were gonna do that to him. I hope he is in it for more than one episode tho. And oh lordy, like those poor Titans need even more trauma in their lives and now fear gas is in the equation. Oh no, I bet poor Gar is gonna get hit cause they just love to torture that poor boy. And tbh I hope the fearscapes(perfect word for it) will be better than most of the Gotham ones, those seemed a tad cheesy tbh

Lmao about you and kory😂 she is too good for him, but also, this Dick needs someone who can kick his ass and get his head out of his martyr butt 😂 tho tbh, I’m still not fully sold on Dickkory, Like I don’t hate it but I don’t LOVE it in many versions, like they can be cute but no strong feelings, the Original Teen Titans cartoon is like the only exception, I def ship those 2

Omg I low key forgot Donna “died”😂🤦🏻‍♀️ I feel like I knew it wouldn’t last so it didn’t have a big impact on me lol. Like I had/have a feel raven is gonna bring her back. I wanna know what happened to Rose/Joey! Like are they not gonna be in it at all? Especially with Jason going off the deep end?!

Lmao, hawk and dove’s suits😂 I think they did break up, I’ve only seen the series once through tbh, planning to rewatch before S3 tho(and try to force my mom to watch it tho she is convinced everything DC is too dark for her lmao), yeah, I don’t mind them, like I don’t want the focus on them but like they deserve to be happy/need a break, omg yes! That boy needs to be wrapped in a blanket and given a break, that grumpy boy is TIRED. Let him rest!

Lmao! That babs line is so great😂

I’m just so excited for all this live action Batfam content, considering the live action movies NEVER give us Batfam 😭(we aren’t talking about the 80’s/90’s live action robin lmao)

Also so sorry this was so long 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

#long post #Titans #titans season 3 #Titans S3 #Titans speculation #speculation #predictions #Meredith gets an ask #anon #ask #asks #Jason Todd

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cursesandcries · 3 years ago

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The Promised Neverland

I just finished watching this anime (Season 1 lang) kanina kasama ko kuya ko. I have a lot to say, that's why this post is here hahaha. Note that di ko pa nababasa ang manga. Legit anime pa lang napapanood ko haha.

Bago ang realizations, I just want to express na tangina, it was one hell of a ride. It kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time until the last episode, it was so so so good! The storytelling was so brilliant!!! Standing ovation to everyone behind it, really. You deserve all the recognition! Brilliant minds!!! Brilliant minds!!! I cried a lot grabe sobrang ganda lang.

Anyway eto na nga hahahaha andami kong sasabihin I hope I have all the words for it, kasi di ko siya madescribe verbally.

It somehow mirrors our reality.

While watching it kanina, at the back of my mind, inihahalintulad ko siya sa realities sa totoong buhay. Naisip ko na medyo sinasalamin din nung kwento yung existence ng uri/social class. May uring mapagsamantala, at uring pinagsasamantalahan. Yung mga monsters, yung "Them," sila ang naghaharing uri na nagpapanatili ng ganoong sistema o status quo (yung farm system nila) which only existed for their own gain--sila lang nakakabenepisyo r'on, diba. Yung mga "Moms" naman, naisip ko na biktima lang din pala sila, pero sila yung mga taong mas pinili ang pansariling interes para mas mabuhay ng matagal, kasi alam nila (o akala nila) na wala na silang magagawa sa status quo kaya mas mabuti nang tanggapin na lang ito at maghanap ng opportunities within the system just to survive and live longer--and that is to become a "Mom." Hindi ko lang sure kung matatawag ba silang mga traydor sa uri, pero parang pwede na din, 'no?

At yung uring pinagsasamantalahan naman, yung mga inosenteng bata na walang kaalam-alam. Pero sa kwento, kahit ibang klase ng pagsasamantala ang pinakita (parang hindi obvious kasi diba they were well-fed, well-dressed, etc) pero lahat ito ay para maging magandang "produkto" sila that the ruling class will soon consume. Pero, hmm, parang pwede rin na ihalintulad siya sa neoliberal system of education natin halimbawa. Na yung inaaral natin ay hindi naman siya liberating for us, but our neoliberal education system was designed for us to serve the interests of the capitalists, to meet the demands of the semi-colonial, semi-feudal society that only benefits the ruling class. Tama ba ito? Haha, I'm not sure, pero eto yung naiisip ko. Which is why siguro din,,, sobrang affected ako sa kwento. Naiyak pa nga aq sksksksks

Sobrang hinahangaan ko din ang characters nila Emma, Norman, Ray, Don, at Gilda. They remind me of the people who fights through and through because they just want everyone (and I mean everyone!!! no-student-left-behind kind of everyone) to break free from the system they're in. They knew about the rotten, harsh system, and instead of choosing to maintain the status quo, they chose to resist, they chose to struggle. Which is TAMA BEHAVIOR hahaha.

That also brought me to the realization na ang tanging solusyon lang doon is to dismantle the system at pabagsakin ang mga halimaw na nagpapanatili ng ganoong sistema. a system who leaves no choice for others but to choose to be selfish just to survive. Familiar, ano? hahahahaha. Ayun lang naman haha. Nakaka-agit siya when I think of it this way. Sulong tayo, gaya ng ginawa nila Emma!

Regarding Isabella.

To be very honest, at first, I really said na I could never empathize with Isabella, even after I learned about her backstory. I even told my brother that, after he told me that he can empathize with her. Sabi ko hindi eh, grabe naman, di ba naaantig puso niya? Ang cute ng mga bata, mahal na mahal siya, tas ipapakain niya lang? Kahit nga yung anak niya tinawag niya lang na "lapdog" amp, tas willing pa siyang i-ship out yung sarili niyang anak. Ang initial reaction ko talaga after all that is I can never imagine empathizing with a person like that. Tinweet ko pa nga yung sentiments ko haha

Pero after I gave it a thought, well, this tweet:

Ayun, narealize ko lang na it must have been so hard to have kept the truth a secret to yourself, not knowing what to do with the information, not knowing how to handle it. It must have been so hard on her part to say goodbye to an innocent, unknowing close friend of hers all while knowing full well what will happen to him. She just cried that night, alone, without anyone to confide in. Kaya niya siguro nasabi kay Emma yung wala na siyang magagawa at kaysa magsuffer siya kakaisip, tanggapin niya na lang and just live her life until her time and accept her fate. Kasi she went through it din, and she must know very well how Emma felt about it. Good thing na lang talaga at malakas ang fighting spirit ni Emma at di siya tumulad kay Isabella.

It just pains me to think how Isabella must have felt all those times. She endured it all alone (unlike Emma who thankfully have Norman and Ray by her side), until eventually kinagat niya na lang yung katotohanan and grabbed the only opportunity she sees to survive and live a long life, and that is to be a "Mom." Kumbaga after all that she went through, naging bato na lang yung puso niya talaga.

I also realized na that kind of character is very human din. May mga tao naman talaga na wala nang ibang choice kundi piliin yung daan kung saan sila makakasurvive diba. Kapit sa patalim, kumbaga. Basta makasurvive lang sa loob ng isang sistemang bulok at mapang-api, whatever it takes. Hindi natin maipagkakaila na due to desperation, may ganoon talaga. After all, biktima lang din naman sila.

Habang iniisip at sinusulat ko 'to, nararamdaman ko yung sakit physically at naiiyak talaga ako amp hasdhfahdfah sumisikip dibdib ko kasi kung iisipin, sobrang totoo niya eh. Malapit siya sa akin siguro dahil na din sa exposure ko at sa mga natutunan ko mula sa pagiging aktibista. And personally, I so much want to be like Emma and the others. Yung hindi inuuna ang sarili, kundi iniisip yung kung anong makakabuti hindi lang para sa kanya kundi para sa lahat.

Regarding Ray.

Very understandable din yung character ni Ray. Siya actually yung pinaka favorite ko talaga sa kanilang tatlo. Emma is very likable simula pa lang pero si Ray kasi ang ganda nung pagkaka-build up sa character niya. Nung nalaman kong spy siya ng nanay niya, taena dudang duda na ako kay badet and I thought I'd hate him, but no. He just wants his best friends to get the fuck out of there. He also endured all that all alone, for six fucking years, just to build up his plan on how to save Emma and Norman (ni hindi niya nga sinali ang sarili niya sa plano diba, kasi his plan all along is to sacrifice himself just to save his best friends. At kahit pa dun sa plano ni Emma na ililigtas lahat, still, he never considered himself to be one of the maliligtas kasi nga all along his plan was to sacrifice himself--and of course, precious Norman knew this, siya nagsabi kay Emma sa letter diba haha). He just loves his best friends so much, so so so sooooo much to the point na he's willing to sacrifice himself for them. And that is so admirable of him, yet VERY painful din. Sobrang nasaktan ako for Ray honestly. When Norman was "shipped out," I just want to hug him so tight. He felt so defeated and guilty. Andami niyang na-"sacrifice" na mga bata, who he considered as family (my god imagine how painful that must be but he has no choice!!), just to save his best friends, and knowing na hindi niya pa rin naligtas si Norman even after everything he did, tangina, I can't even imagine how he must have felt. Heart-shattering talaga siguro. Ako nga na nanonood lang, sobrang nasaktan na. Pano pa kaya siya?! (pero ehrm my kuya spoiled me about Norman's whereabouts so HAHA YEAH)

Anyway, shet ang haba na. hahaha but it feels so good to talk (or write, lol) like this again. Sad lang kasi wala akong nakakausap regarding this (and I doubt someone will read this din, but hey, if you actually did read this long-ass post and reached this part, and you've also watched the anime, baka naman gusto mong mag share ng thoughts mo din!!! I would LOVE to know what you think about the story! It's just so interesting to me I think I can never stop talking about this for days hahahaha). Maganda sana siyang discussion. Siguro bukas io-open up ko yung thoughts ko sa kuya ko na kasabay kong nanood. I'll tell him that I changed my mind after thinking it over and I actually empathize with Isabella hahaha.

I am yet to read the whole manga, so di ko pa alam how they saved everyone, including those children na nasa ibang plants, and how it all ended. At first I thought di ko na babasahin yung manga kasi Haikyuu nga di ko pa tapos bakit ko pa dadagdagan yung babasahin ko. Pero after finishing the anime's season 1, taena di ako mapakali!! I /need/ to know how it all went, so yes, I'm gonna read the manga as soon as I finish the fanfics that I'm reading hahahahaha. And NO, I'm not gonna watch the Season 2 of the anime kasi balita ko disappointing daw, and it didn't give the story justice???? BALITA Q LANG HA. So ayun, babasahin ko na lang ang manga I'm so invested in this xD magandang distraction na din sa magulo at maingay kong isip :)

Anywayyyy, ayuuunnn!!! That's all for this post hahahaha emerut.

I wish Emma, Ray, Norman, Don, Gilda, Phil, and all the brave kids a very long and happy life and a very strength to fight the system and create a whole new world that they deserve. Ika nga ay hakbang pasulong! Emz hahahaha

#thoughts #the promised neverland #thepromisedneverland #tpn

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rhinedottir-yennefer · 4 years ago

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Oh, that ask thingy I was so happy I got tagged in and never got to fill in!

You thought. Well guess what! Today imma gonna fill in the ask questions I got from @advena87 (thank you again for challenging me!) But since I’m a book reader - and I also think my follows and followers should be more encouraged to post book stuff - I’m gonna try and fill in as book content-y as I can. Here we go! Skellige Isles or the continent?

I love the continent, especially Lyria, Rivia & Dol Blathana, but this is definitely gonna be Skellige for me. I love how raw and unbiased people are over there. They also provide equal rights to women. Which I think is far more developed than one would think when it comes to the Skellige Isles.

Velen or Toussaint?

This is going to be Toussaint for me. Not because of the visionairy (which is, btw, flawless in TW3-B&W) but because in the books we spend a good chunk of the story there, and we really get to know how society and the monarch works.

Novigrad or Beauclair?

I would definitely say “the centre of the world” Novigrad. The “free city” Novigrad. It’s so lively there, everyone finds the business they need. But I also like the dark side of it. The beggars, the sewers, the crying Eternal Fire zealots.

Sleeping at Corvo Bianco or meditating under a tree?

This is gonna be meditating & sleeping under a tree, simply because there’s no “Corvo Bianco” in the books. I really loved that ending, for me though Geralt stayed on the path.

Inns or Brothels?

Inns have such nicer ahmosphere. I love the candlelit chandeliers, the cheap beer, the people giving you various looks. Music! Geralt always has a nice meal whenever he goes to an inn. I wish that for him.

Caves or Ruins?

There’s not much caves in the books, ruins however, plenty. Ruins.

High or low difficulty?

I guess noone prepared me for the emotional trauma that was the battle at Stygga, so high?

Going back to old save: yay or nay?

I have a bookmark.

Mods: yay or nay?

Sadly I can’t apply any filters to books, but the good thing is I don’t have to! I have imagination to help me.

Mini-map or no mini-map?

I did actually use a map of the continent while I was reading. I marked the route each of the main characters took.

Roach or Fast travel?

Roach, because she’s the best friend to Geralt when there’s no Jaskier/Dandelion(/Kökörcsin) around.

Roads or Boats?

There was always something bad going on when Geralt got on a boat, so... Roads.

Specters or Relicts?

Ooh, I love an old type leshen. And godlings. And dopplers. And czorts. Definitely a relict girl here! o/

Beasts or Hybrids?

I would say hybrids. Especially sirens and succubi.

Necrophages or Vampires?

Vampires all the way! You didn’t think I would forget about our best boy Regis, ya? (B&W vampires are awesome too, Orianna is an all-time favourite of mine)

Orgroids or Elementa?

Since there’s not much ogroid in the books, I would definitely go with the elementa, because of djinns & genies.

Draconids or Cursed Ones?

Draconids! At least we get quite a few in the books! The cursed ones Geralt meet in the saga he doesn’t kill, rather turn them back to normal.

The Caretaker or the Crones?

I loved the Crones! Chilling & ruthless, but very well written characters. And their boss theme is absolute bop.

Botchlings or spotted Wights?

Spotted wights, I guess.

Godlings or Trolls?

Godlings are kind of adorable.

Sirens or Harpies?

Sirens, please and thank you.

Killing or sparing?

Depends on the situation. With Vilgefortz? Kill any day. Renfri? Protect at all costs.

Dijkstra or Roche?

As much as I love Vernon Roche, I must aknowledge the fact he’s not a book character so Dijkstra all the way.

Vesemir or Crach an Craite?

I really loved Crach even in the books, from a young chap (at Pavetta’s 15th birthday) to someone who even woo’d Yen xD I think the Witcher 3 gave him a worthy-mighty route to embrace. Shame he had to go so early.

Eskel or Lambert?

I was always more fond of Eskel’s quiet and composed manner. He’s like a true brother to Geralt.

Keira or Philippa?

Philippa all the way. I just really love characters involved in intrigues by choice, and when it comes to the Lady Owl, she’s like the absolute queen.

Cerys or Hjalmar?

Ok so, this is difficult, because Cerys was not in the books, unlike Hjalmar. But I really liked what they did with them in TW3 and how they did it, and I don’t even feel like they’ve overwritten the canon or anything. I always felt like Cerys’ calm composed manner and playing on the safe side attitude would ensure Skellige would survive. Even if they’re not going down in history as great invaders or warriors.

Syanna or Anarietta?

Since Syanna was not in the books, but even if she was, I wouldn’t like her, I have to go with Annarietta who’s been the brattiest, sassiest and most spoiled young princess in the books. But that didn’t stop me from liking her. Yen or Triss?

Yennefer is the queen of this story. I get where the game Triss likers are coming from, but since I’m here to spread book awesomeness, where she’s been the absolute worst (and not even a proper love interest to Geralt [even Fringilla was a longer relationship to him!]) this wasn’t a hard choice at all. Yennefer is the best for Geralt.

Ciri or Geralt?

I’ve always been genuinely more immersed in Geralt’s side of the story, talking strictly about books, than Ciri’s.

Regis or Dettlaff?

Regis. Never gonna com a time when I don’t pick Regis.

Olgierd von Everec or Gaunter O’Dimm?

Olgierd, I guess. I can definitely see someone like him in the books.

Olgierd von Everec or Iris von Everec?

Iris deserved better.

Shani or Dandelion?

Ok so, there’s no witcher without Dandelion/Jaskier/Kökörcsin, and I absolutely love this bloody Casanova, but, strictly speaking in book context, Shani doesn’t get the recognition she deserves. She’s really complex and been through a lot. Our bard has too, true, but he’s more like the comic relief of the saga.

Johnny or Sarah?

Sarah!

Sorceresses or Witchers?

Sorceresses. I guess. Life is much more easier if you’re a sorceress.

Druids or the local holy man?

Druids all the way! Especially those of Skellige! My king Mousesack . I love him.

Food or Swallow?

Swallow. Not gonna use it though, but this one’s closer to the book canon.

Decoctions or Potions?

Potions is on the canon side.

Hunting for diagrams or finding them per chance?

Finding them by chance, I guess. Book Geralt has no time to hunt diagrams amidst all this canon shitstorm xD

Saving coin or spending coin?

Saving.

Looting or buying?

I guess looting is more on the canon side here.

Upsetting the guards or following the rules?

Never upset the guards.

Igni or Axii?

Axii!

Yrden or Aard?

Yrden!

Signs or blade oils?

Signs!

Crossbow or fists?

Crossbow is more book canon I guess.

Settling down or staying on the path?

Book Geralt doesn’t like staying put, so staying on the path.

Gwent Cards or Swords?

Gwent cards.

Beard or no beard?

No beard. It’s canon. “Puss Peepers” or “Mutant”?

I have never in my book reading journey read Puss Peepers. Mutant, however... Hey! Thank you very much again for the callout, @advena87 and I hope everyone who actually read through that abominatin enjoyed my answers. And that they weren’t too book-posh. If yes, I’d say I’m sorry, but really I’m not. K BYE

#answered ask #Witcher #witcher 3 #witcher netflix #Yennefer of Vengerberg #jaskier #dandeion #dandelion #geralt #geralt of rivia #ciri #cirilla fiona elen riannon #mousesack #crach an craite #andrzej sapkowski #netflix

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system-of-a-feather · 5 years ago

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I should sleep but instead I’ll share a bit more about myself

Sleep is for loosers anyways jk for real sleep is important to your mental health you really should try to get decent sleep if you can

Anyways, I had asked about it earlier cause I was reminiscing back to the old days a bit so I figured I would just go on an old man’s tales of the old days. Don’t worry this shouldn’t have much of any potentially triggering content. Its just kinda a look back on where I started and where I’ve come since I split off or at least a bit of a general one. So if you like, grab some marshmellows, pick up some chocolate and lets enjoy some smores by the fire. (Keep reading below if interested; ps its kinda really long XD)

Honestly, its been mentioned a bit around here that I am, in fact, not the original host of the system and while I have taken very strongly to my role as host and my system has come to respect me (at least for the most part) as the host and “leader / commander” in the alternative role descriptions our system likes to use from time to time, I honestly have only been in this role for like... the past three or so years of the like... ten or twelve (depends on if you count when I split off or when I actually began interacting actively with the world) years.

Like for some background, I split off originally in order to help the previous host and trauma holder (who weren’t in communication) handle and adjust to life while we moved schools twice in a single year. From what I know prior to my split, our system was very dependent on hanging out with our friends as a way to keep trauma from surfacing to the host or something similar to that and the host before I split off was a bit of a shy child. My family made a really bad decision with a move that sent everyone in my family into various bad mental states and to cut the unpleasant info out of it, the host at the time couldn’t handle or adapt to the new school that had a horrifically different atmosphere from our old one. None of the ways she was able to have fun or connect with others were capable and with a even worse condition house and a lack of friends, it essentially caused two splits. One was Lucille and one was me, almost around the same time for similar, related, but different reasons.

For me, I know my main role was to be able to make friends, maintain friends, and to make sure school life wasn’t a problem and that we could constantly have someone to be around when we were younger. Back in the day my main job was to be charismatic, make friends, and create stable and sturdy social connections with everyone so that one of the largest important coping mechanisms could be saved.

Admittedly though, even though I did fill the role needed and did create wonderful webs of connections and friends, even though I did make friends by taking outcasts of each school I went to in order to make stable relationships, honestly a mix of our family’s toxicity and a lot of bad luck with friends moving made it so few friendships lasted more than a year. It made it rather hard for anyone to hold host and I believe for the longest many years no one was a consistent host - something that was considerably concerning given we wouldn’t start communicating or being actively aware of each other for another six years.

Anyways, a lot of the repetitive failures honestly made me loose a bit of faith in people and humanity for a few years and I kind of retreated to online where I became an edgelord and went under the idea of “I really don’t care about the real world and my real life anyways, we aren’t gonna live that long anyways and my life will figure itself out” and engrossed myself solely into being an “online social” personality for a long while from the ages of like twelve until like... sixteen.

It was honestly a mistake I suppose as me abandoning the real life wasn’t abandoning my life like I thought it was as much as it turned out I was abandoning an important duty in a system I didn’t know I was part of and such action not only led me into being put into a lot of abusive relationships with online people, but also left our life horrifically unnurtured, barren and dry. During the time I popped in from time to time to help with club activities, but for the most part managing our real life was left to Aderis (who scared everyone away out of defense), Lucille (pre-integrated being an introverted know it all), and a trauma holder that avoided everyone. Our club life flourished and we had a group of friends in our band activities as it was the only part of the real world I would end up being out in and caring about enough to foster, but outside of that our life was barren. Sometime in that period, Aderis had made contact with me and everyone vaguely got to know each other, but considering a lot of denial and other abuse and trauma was going on then, we never properly established an understanding of DID or our system or even full recognition of each other - or at least I didn’t.

In a sorts, it lead to the point where apparently the trauma holder that was vaguely taking host was getting so sick of existing and was so envious of the beautiful life I was hosting online that it became a huge problem that apparently was the driving force to get us into therapy. I don’t really know too much of the specifics but it had caused a massive internal war over if we should destroy my online life as to force me to actually come back and try to help fix the mess our real life was at, or if we should just give up on having a real life and foster in the one I was building online. It was a internal conflict that actually had Lucille and I worried that it might end up to self harm or rash decisions and it was enough to get us to push for therapy which we eventually got.

Through the first few months of therapy it was noted by a not-dissociation specialist that what I was going through sounded a lot like DID but that wasn’t addressed further than him attempting to integrate what he identified to be “the online personality” and the “offline personality” by bringing someone who can bridge the two worlds and assist in integrating the two parts. Of course, being he wasn’t a professional in DID or dissociation, it didn’t quite work out properly, but it did get me actually focused on our real life a bit more. I was put in a position where I had to try to transfer what I did online to the real world and I did so by bringing a somewhat trusted individual into communication with me online.

At that point I had kind of forgotten how to be super charismatic irl and so I kept a lot of the more personal conversations online and rather than bridging me and the semi-host (as we didn’t really have a host), it rather got me somewhat interested in the real world again - or at least gave me something beyond my online world that meant something to me. I fostered a strong relationship with this individual and I took it upon myself to try to keep this relationship working as it was the first time in ages that someone in the real not-online world that seemed to intend to stay around us and it gave me some hope to my otherwise jaded view on the world.

It was honestly a lot of work being in therapy and trying to find this middle ground of managing online and offline and trying to get both domains to work in our system’s life, especially when I took the initiative to consider dating that person that really seemed to stick around and have enough faith and patience with me and our system to work with us, especially since the system wasn’t entirely on board, and especially sicne even then, we had no clearly defined host.

A lot of back and forth happened, a lot of alters trying to sabotage each other, a lot of really poor mental health and poor adjustment, and then two or three things too many happened and the trauma holder that was semi-host seemed to fall entirely dormant leaving the host position completely open and with the system a bit shook.

In a sense, due to the fact that Aderis was going through things at the time, Lucille was insecure on his existence, and the other active known member was a child, I was kind of kicked out to fill the role - especially considering the person we were in a relationship was considered to be my partner and my decision and my responsibility at the time. Plus, of all the alters in the pool that could have picked up host at the time, the most socially capable for managing a life was of course the alter that was MADE to be social and to create friendships and reach out to individuals.

I suppose in a sense it was natural that I was the one that got kicked out. Honestly, I don’t see myself to be as socially capable or charismatic as I am told I am and honestly I personally struggle a lot from time to time with friendships and relationships due to a lot of the personal things I as Riku have been through and how being online almost exclusively for three or four years messed with my understanding of social rules and interactions and all that, but honestly, it was generally at that moment that the system kinda just forced me to handle a heccin lot.

And like... talking about adjusting from being an alter formed primarily to establish and maintain friendships to being the host and person in charge of a lot in the system, I could go on about that on its own for ages. It is honestly something I both gripe and grumble and am really critical on myself for not doing “good enough” but it is also something I am pretty proud to say I feel I have been managing pretty good all things considered.

I do wonder how the trauma holder that stood in as a kinda-host after the original host refused to be host is doing, and I really hope she is alright and I honestly know she isn’t but I hope one of these days I can build this life to be healthy enough, stable enough, and safe enough that she can come out of dormancy and recover as she deserves to.

Currently, she is honestly in a really unstable state to the point keeping her dormant is one of the highest priorities of our system as she is honestly really dangerous to us and we aren’t in an environment that can support and safely provide a place for her to recover, so honestly, if nothing else, I hope that one of these days I can make this life a life she can be safe in.

I do deal with some of the thoughts of “I stole this life from an individual” or at least I used to struggle with them a lot, but I like to think of it more as me saving and rescuing this life for someone who couldn’t handle it anymore.

And in the end, we are all the same individual. We are all working towards the same thing, and if there is anything I can do with the honor it is to be the host of the system and to get this much time out and to have this much direction over how we drive this life, I want to make my system happy and safe.

I dunno. Its just some sentimental thinking I was going on about to myself before since I was thinking back to when I was a protector and when all I had to worry about were social issues and picking the most reliable trust worthy people to add to our lives and replacing them as fast as possible when they left to maintain stability. Back when all I cared about and had to worry about was building social circles, and now I gotta do that among all sorts of other things.

It was a simpler time, but I am happy of where I am now. I suppose when I was “just a social protector” one of the largest hobbies I had was finding people that were less fortunate, rejected by the cliquey social groups of our school, and creating a bit of a safe place and a friend to have so they wouldn’t be lonely, and from time to time I would get them involved with other more popular individuals and it was great to watch them grow and succeed socially after being the social rejects for being blind or “fat” or awkward or shy. When I went online, I took a strong liking to helping people out and helping people feel a little better about themselves and letting people have a person they can talk to.

I suppose upon becoming a host, I just expanded my external duty inward and now I have a team that I love dearly that I want to make happy and to give them the best life possible.

I suppose in a sense, even as a host, I still strongly come from my roots as a social protector and thats nice to think about from time to time.

Anyways, thanks for joining me at my campfire and roasting some marshmellows. I dunno if any of you guys got anything of substance from my old man stories reflecting on my old duties and how thats changed some over time, but thanks for listening in.

-Riku (Host)

#alter: riku #did #osdd #dissociative identity disorder #actuallydid #personal

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