#but seriously there are so many characters that KNOW shes a doctor and still call her 'miss'

[reallyromealone]

Part 3 to surprise you’re a dad plz 🥺

Title: surpsie you're a dad 3

Fandom: Tokyo revengers

Characters: Haitani brothers

Fic type: fluff

Pairings: Rindō x male reader

Warnings: male reader, reader insert, omegaverse, pregnancy, birth, angst, fluff, good uncle ran

Notes: short chapter low brain energy

Summary: birth and hard conversations

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

"Six weeks?"

"At minimum" the doctor said simply "and he isn't to lift anything heavier than his pup" Rindō and Ran nodded, glancing at a fast asleep (name) who just finished feeding the tiny baby that was (daughters name), said baby was tucked in Rans arms as Rindō was terrified of holding her.

It had been three hours and Rindō could barely look at his child or his mate, he was terrified.

He didn't know what to do in this situation.

He didn't know how to be a dad!

And Ran was somehow a way better parent figure to his kid and he was an uncle!

Ran watched his brother, he could see the things going on in his head and the stress he was under "you know you got this, right?" Ran said honestly, big brother mode activating while looking at his terrified baby brother, seeing the young boy who he always made sure had a meal on his plate. "Look at her" Ran said simply, gazing at the tiny bundle "this kid is a Haitani, she is one of us and as you're dad it's your duty to be better than ours could ever be" his voice serious while he gently put Rindōs daughter in his arms "she's so small..." Rindō choked out, holding her close and sitting in a chair "she is, even if you and (name) don't work, she will always be a consistent and by proxy so will he"

"Yeah..."

"Serious question, Rinny" Rans voice was methodical while gently tracing the wisps of hair from his nieces head "do you want it to work with (name)?" He asked so calm and collected while Rindō sighed "I fucked up enough" he grumbled out and Ran snorted "you sure did, you called him a whore in so many new fun ways! It's going to take a lot to earn his trust"

"I don't think he will, how would I even get him to do that?"

"Maybe start with an apology"

"An apology?" Rindō was incredulous and Rindō rolled his eyes and leaned into his chair "we are hardened criminals, we do what we want but he is the mother to your child, he is your mate" Ran said seriously "our world means nothing compared to family, an apology can fix a lot of things and open many doors" ran said before leaning close and locking eyes with his younger brother before whispering;

"So apologize"

And with that, Ran stood up and pulled his cigarette holder "I'm leaving now, you better make sure he isn't being stupid or I swear to god"

And with that, Rindō was left in the room with his sleeping mate who hated him and his infant daughter who gurgled up at him, wide eyed "hey..." He whispered and gently took the babies finger "I'm your dad..." He whispered to the little girl who looked at him with nothing but pure curiousity and Rindō couldn't help but smile at this pup.... His pup.

He was a dad now.

Looking up he stared at (name), the Omega spent and out cold in the comfortable bed with many pillows ran made sure (name) had.

Ran was right, he was so obsessed with (name) when he met him at that party... He was absolutely stunning...

Would (name) forgive him?

He was awful to him even up to the birth...

(Name) Held onto his son while being discharged, Ran returning with a BMW armored van and a shit eating grin "there's my beautiful neice~" ran cooed while he and Rindō helped (name) get situated, (name) glaring at Rindō while the Alpha buckled in (daughters name) into her car seat "I got you two some food! Also I stocked up your fridge, (name)!" Ran always the doting but brother knew Rindō still hadn't apologized but could see him working up the confidence for it.

"We'll be alternating whose with you, we worked out a schedule so you're never alone!" Ran said happily and (name) suppressed a sigh at the concept of having to be near his daughters sire for prolonged periods of time and hopefully not kill the Kanto manji member.

(Name) Ate his food quietly, exhausted "drive slower" (name) hissed out and Ran looked back from the rearview mirror "were going at the speed limit (name)"

"Don't care." (Name)s instincts were going haywire "drive. Slower." He hissed out and ran began driving slower at the furious pharamones that made Rindō crack a window "thank you" (name) focused his attention to (daughters name) who was so peaceful before pulling out his phone and placing the screen under her nose to check her breathing and let out a content sigh.

"Rindō is on first watch as I have business to attend to but don't worry I'll bring you two souvenirs!"

(Name) Glared at Rindō and Rindō looked anywhere but him "you know you don't have to, I know you're not thrilled about parenting" (name) didn't even ask for this...

"I want to be there for you two"

"Why...?" (Name) Was suspicious of the alphas words, he didn't trust him as far as he could throw him.

"...let's get (daughters name) in bed then let's talk"

[kasplonk]

One small thing that kinda bothers me about gotham is the fact that everyone calls Lee 'Miss Thomkins' when she's a doctor?? Should they not be calling her 'Dr Thomkins'?? It just upsets me that none of the characters really recognise her title you know??

[seleneprince]

Magische Linten (Magic Ribbons)

Contains: Dutch expressions (as a fandom, we forgot too fast that Kerch is a fantasy Dutch and that Kaz used dutch words in the books, like "ja". We should remember it). I used the translator for this, so if there are any mistakes, please let me know. Mentions of the Wandering Isle's culture about Grisha, which includes blood and questionable medical practices. Use some ocs. Saskia is a real character in the books, if you read them, you know who she is. I simply created an oc based on her.

(This follows the plot of the first book, Six of Crows, and not the show Shadow and Bone, althought it will contain references to it because I loved it too)

"There's no way"

"Seriously, I'm not lying"

"It cannot be true"

"Yes, it is. I can vanish anything in my hands and make it appear again somewhere else"

"¿Are you a Grisha?"

"Natuurlijk niet!* It's only a magic trick. I learnt it by watching one of those men with colorful clothes in the street. I think it's called 'illusionism' or something like that"

Saskia frowned. She knew what men he was referring to, but she never heard that word before. It sounded suspicious in her ears.

"¿Aren't what Grisha do basically magic tricks too?"

"Well, technically yes, but it's not the same. Anyone can do this if they learn and practice enough, but not everyone can do what a Grisha can, no matter how much they learn"

"I'm not sure. That trick you said sounded very Grisha-like to me"

"Fine! If you don't believe me, let me show you. I swear it has nothing to do with Grisha."

Saskia didn't quite buy it. It wasn't like she was worried that the boy would hurt her, but what he said sounded very weird. Where she came from, it was said that Grisha were dangerous and the only good thing they had was their blood, which could cure sickness. She remembered briefly when a doctor took some blood out of her when she had fever, and she cried the whole process. She couldn't understand how Grisha were capable of going through that so often, and voluntarily at that. They weren't normal.

But if he said he wasn't a Grisha, Saskia chose to believe him. Her "father" told her these boys were innocent, simple-minded. Her new friend had no reason to lie.

"Oké*, but make it fast. And if you hurt me, I'll hit you"

"I barely have to touch you, I just need something small. A pencil, or a button"

While they looked around them, Saskia brushed some strands from her eyes. She hated how her "mother" styled her hair, with ridiculous ties and curls. That's when she felt one of the ribbons she wore, and had an idea.

"Here", she took one of them off and gave it to him, "Use this"

He blinked at her, surprised.

"¿Are you sure? I don't-"

"You say you can make it appear again, ja? Besides, I have many more like this, so I don't mind if you lose this one"

He stared down at the red ribbon in his hand, his cheeks blushing in a expression akin to flusterment. Like he was holding 100 kruge in his palm instead of a simple piece of silk. When his eyes met Saskia's again, there was no sign of that expression. She was silently impressed with his quick facial control.

"Oké, now let us start!"

He smiled with confidence, and Saskia couldn't help but smile in return at his enthusiasm.

The boy proceeded to turn the ribbon around in his hands, twisting it with before her eyes, until suddenly...it dissapeared. Just like that, she was seeing it clearly one moment and the next she didn't anymore. No noise or twitch that signaled where it went. Saskia's mouth was wide open.

"What the-how did you do that?! You had it in your hand, I was seeing it! How is this possible? It just...vanished"

Instead of answering, the boy chuckled at her. He extended his hands towards her wrist, slowly, and stopped right where his fingers brushed her pulse point. He became still for a moment, worrying Saskia a bit with his lack of movement. Then, with a graceful twist of his hand, he started to move his hand away, and Saskia felt something soft sliding down her wrist.

It was the red ribbon.

She couldn't hide her fascination.

"Dat is geweldig!* How did you do it? I didn't feel it getting under my sleeve, nor I noticed it was there. How can it be?", she narrowed her eyes in suspicion at him, "¿Are you sure you're not a Grisha?"

When her eyes focused on him, she saw something weird. His cheeks were blushing, which didn't make sense because it wasn't that cold in the room. They had been mostly near the functioning chimney since they arrived. ¿Was he getting sick?

"Hey, ¿are you alright? Your face is getting red"

"Ah, uhm, I...it's nothing. I was just nervous that...it didn't work out. Yup, that's it", the boy shook his head, like he just broke out of a trance, and scratched his neck as he turned his eyes away. "And ja, I'm sure I'm not a Grisha. Like I said, anyone can do this"

"Oh, oké then", she had the feeling there was something else, but she got distracted quickly. "Well, I can't do it, and I'm very smart"

He chuckled softly.

"It has nothing to do if you're smart or not. You can't do it because you never practiced. If you tried, I bet you'll do it better than me", his cheeks reddened again, and Saskia thought he looked very cute like that, "You're the most talented person I know. You'll be probably good at everything."

"Well, I wouldn't say that either," now it was her turn to blush, "I read a lot of books, and my brot-my parents teach me many things, so that's why I know some stuff."

There was a pause between them, a comfortable silence that felt unusual in them. Whenever they were together, they talked nonstop and they didn't know how to stay still. Which was good for Saskia, because she couldn't stand silences. They made her nervous and uneasy, and she couldn't afford that. Not with him.

"Can I tell you something, Saskia?"

His voice sounded low out of sudden, and his eyes were fixed on her.

"Natuurlijk*, why do you ask?"

"It's just...I really like being with you and I don't want to bother you."

"I don't think you can do anything to bother me, dummy. Go on, what is it?"

He looked at her straight in her eyes, smiling shyly, but with a firm determination sparkling in his orbs.

"You're beau-"

The door was slammed open, showing Saskia's "father" and another boy with him.

"Here you are, ducklings", the man's deep voice captured the children's attention, "I'm sorry, boy, we lost track of time. Saskia, say goodbye to your friend, they're leaving."

"But pappa*, we still haven't-" she stopped herself when the man gave her a significant look. She bit her lip and nodded. "Oké"

They stood up, with Saskia brushing off her skirt and the boy fixing up his jacket. They walked side by side towards the exit, with Saskia's father and the older boy in front of them.

Just when the brothers were about to leave, her friend turned back to her abruptly.

"Wait! Saskia, take your ribbon. I forgot I had it", he extended his hand towards her, with the red silk still in his fingers, but the girl shook her head.

"Don't bother, you can keep it", she pushed his hand back gently. "It's a gift."

He stared at her perplexed.

"What are you saying? Are you sure?"

"Ja. Consider it a thanks for showing me that amazing trick. I loved it", she showed him a genuine smile, and he looked away again. "And if your hairs grows, you can use it to tie it back."

He scoffed playfully, glancing back at her with another smile.

"Yeah, sure, keep dreaming. No way I'm wearing that", his face softened. "See you tomorrow, I guess."

Something warm twisted in Saskia's chest. She pushed it back where it came from.

"Ja, see you tomorrow. And I hope you bring some new tricks. Now I want to see more of them."

He chuckled. Saskia was starting to find the sound very pleasant. She thought she wouldn't mind hearing it more often, and a sense of dread assaulted her. She shouldn't be having these thoughts.

"Ik beloof het*"

And after that exchange, they bid their goodbyes, both still smiling as the distance between them grew. She felt the firm hand of her "vader*" squeezing her shoulder almost painfully. A silent reminder.

A warning.

"Didn't you hear? The Black Tips are dust now. That idioot Geels emptied the vaults to get on the Dregs' bad side, and the Brekker demon sent them all packing with their tails between the legs."

"Ja, they even came up with a song for it. 'The Durstraat is on fire and the Dregs don't have no water'. I heard it when I passed by their nest."

"Cocky klootzakken*. But I guess we can thank them for riding us from those rats. One less headache to deal with."

Those were the first sentences that Diantha heard as soon as she set a foot in the Emerald Palace. She twirled her way through the gaming tables towards the bar, expertly avoiding the waving hands and listening their talks about the latest news. The fall from grace of the Black Tips.

It didn't catch her by surprise at all. She already heard what happened on her way to the Palace, and haven't she been busy with her last minute assignment at First Harbor, she would've likely gone to witness the whole mess in front row from one of the rooftops. However, she didn't feel dissapointed for having missed it, considering the interesting events that transcurred in First Harbor and that she got to see by herself.

In the bar counter, she found Jesse rearranging some bottles and greeting her with a nod.

"Welcome back, Krett. I take it that it was a successful inspection."

"What makes you think that?"

"Your clothes are still intact and you don't have an ounce of dirt on your face, so I assume there were no fights or accidents. Plus, you have that spark in your eyes from when you got your hands on something valuable and can't wait to show it."

She grinned. She didn't expect less from the Emerald Palace's head bartender. After so many years working behind the counter, Jesse learnt to be particularly observant with people, which allowed him to charm them into a false sense of trust as he filled their cups and pried secrets from their loose mouths. Also, he had known Diantha since she was a kid, freshly initiated into the Dime Lions after her brother, so it wasn't surprising he could read her so easily.

"Well, the boss may feel conflicted with the news, but I think it'll distract him enough from the last fiasco."

"I hope so. I'm afraid he's going to be in a sour mood for the following hours, and it'll be nice to keep his attention away from us."

"Is he really that pissed about the Black Tips?"

"I guess it has more to do with the Brekker boy twerfing his plans once again rather than loosing those oafs."

Diantha felt her body tense, just like everytime someone mentioned him.

Kaz Brekker, the Dregs' lieutenant, and Pekka Rollins' biggest headache. His long story of crimes and blood stained hands, all in the name of profit, gave him the nickname Dirtyhands. Because there was no line he wasn't willing to cross to get what he wanted. People whispered his name in fear and cowered at the sound of his lethal cane tapping the ground as he walked. Not even the Dime Lions were immune to his terrifying presence, but they knew better than to show it when Rollins was near.

She would never admit it, but Diantha was also a bit intimidated by him. Their paths had crossed only a handful times, but when they did, it always ended with painful reminders carved in each other's skins. Some of them permanent and impossible to conceal, just as the one she carried on her left hand, or the one that made him rely on his cane to move. But that wasn't what made her feel so wary of him, no.

It was his eyes. There was just something in them when he looked at her that made her very...uneasy. Like he was about to lunge at her at any moment, but she couldn't figure out when. It unnerved her, not being able to predict his movements. He looked at her like that even since before the "incident", so she assumed it was due to her being a Dime Lion. They were enemies after all, and he was clearly set on ruining Rollins' empire, so it made sense he despised her. The "incident" just gave him another reason to do so.

She shook her head to expel any thoughts about him. It wasn't the time to divagate about whether the Bastard of the Barrel had personal reasons to hate her or not. Plus, trying to figure out the mind of someone like him would only drain her own sanity in the process.

Right now, she had crucial information to report to her already angry boss, and Saints knew how he could get if she made him wait.

Kaz Brekker had no power over her, but Pekka Rollins very much did and would gladly use it. And that was enough to push Dirtyhands out of her head at once.

"Really? You think it's wise leaving it like that, with the Black Tips still fuming and crawling around?"

"It's the right course of action. By the way, go call Jesper and Muzzen. I want them here at sunrise. And have Wylan wait for me at the Crow Club tomorrow night."

"Wylan? If you say the job is so important..."

"Just do it."

Inej crossed her arms, glaring at him with the same sharpness as her precious knives. He was sure she was considering murdering him right there.

"Are you going to give me any details, Kaz?"

"Once we're all reunited", he put on a clean shirt and buttoned it up as he walked to his dresser. "This isn't an order, Inej. It's another job, which you're free to accept or deny."

He finished with the buttons, throwing on next a grey vest with little pockets sewn discreetly underneath, perfect to keep tools he didn't want others to find out. Just when Inej opened her mouth, probably to ask something again, someone knocked at the door.

"Kom binnen*" he answered, barely looking at who entered.

It was Rotty, with a solemn expression that clashed vastly from his previous cheeriness.

"Hallo*, sir. We just received news from the Shu's cargment of gold that arrived this morning", he spoke in a rush. "The Merchant Council plan on keeping the ship docked at the port, under the stadswacht's surveillance, until further notice."

"Well, it was to be expected. That stunt Shu Han pulled made their plans a bit more complicated for the future. They'll refrain from touching the gold until they're completely sure of it", he hummed. "But why are you telling me this? That cargment of Shu gold isn't a priority now."

"Sir", Rotty stuttered, avoiding Kaz's dark eyes. "Pekka Rollins knows"

The temperature in the room went down drastically. Kaz freezed in the spot, under Inej's attentive gaze.

"And...?"

He had a feeling of where this was going. Rotty never stuttered before when he mentioned Rollins to him, unless...

"He sent one of the Krett siblings to cover First Harbor, sir."

There it was.

He felt that familiar fire at his stomach, like everytime he heard that name. He could feel the burning climb up his throat, setting his insides on an inferno.

He let out a raspy, humourless chuckle. He should have expected it. Pekka Rollins wouldn't have turn away from such a delicious, tempting treasure, not when he was still trying to plant his roots inside the Merchant Council's core. And of course, he would have sent his favourite puppet to follow the whole operation.

He knew one of the Kretts was out of the Barrel at the moment, so that only left one for the job. Her.

"Thank you for telling me, Rotty. This definitely supposes a change in our plans", he pulled out a new set of gloves and fastened the buttons around his wrists, rather hastly. "We should reconsider First Harbor's importance for us. You can leave now."

Rotty nodded and left the room almost running. Inej eyed him warily. She knew too what that information meant to him. What the infamous lioness caused.

"What do you have in mind now, Kaz?"

He didn't answer inmediately. His gloved fingers went inside the drawer again, brushing against a worn out piece of red silk he kept hidden in there, only for his eyes to see. A trinklet from a painful dream, a reminder of what his goals were.

He closed it again with a loud thump, before walking out of the room without a single word, leaving the ribbon hidden underneath the documents once again.

(One day, she'll be hidden too, where only he could see her and grasp her)

A/N: Inspired by my discussions with @stayconnecteed about her awesome aus for six of crows and my own silly headcanons. She also happens to be the one who came up with that beautiful cover, so all credit to her. And @mrsmiroir, because we both wanted to see more of Saskia so my mind created this.

TRANSLATIONS:

-Natuurlijk niet!*: Of course not!

-Dat is geweldig!*: This is amazing!

-Ja*: Yes

-Oké*: Allright, okay

-Natuurlijk*: Of course

-Vader/Pappa*: Father

-Ik beloof het*: I promise

-Idioot*: I think this one is pretty obvious

-Klootzakkenn*: Assholes

-Kom binnen*: Come in

-Hallo*: Good evening

[trekmupf]

maybe the way we treat mentally ill people and prisoners is still not fixed huh

Pro

Super suspicious package is suspicious of becoming plot relevant

McCoy hanging out on the bridge again. Also he is absolutely incapable of standing without holding onto something in this episode (did I make a screenshot collection? Of course)

The way Kirk handles Van Gelder with the weapon on the bridge

McCoy being a good doctor! Also gives further insight into his character: scientific curiosity, gut feeling, good patient care. Also his close ups are so beautiful, He's so expressive, 10/10 Bone's face

Kirk and McCoy dynamic! McCoy having him investigate, Kirk implying he doesn't have great psych personnel, McCoy sending a woman he has history with to annoy him and it absolutely working

That weird dove, hand and rainbow sign screams danger cult

So many scenes between Spock and McCoy. When they properly work together it's beautiful (jk they're always beautiful even whenthey're verbally bashing each other's heads in)

Van Gelder's pain and suffering while trying to tell them what's going on is terrifying and sad, but it tells us a lot about who he is

Kirk like I can totally try the crazy people device on myself!

At first voluntarily but who could have known, it escalades

Dr. Noel is great! She has things to do, is a good doctor in her field, an actual character with ethics and a moral compass (not letting Kirk kiss her as he's not himself despite clearly being into him), and she gets shit done! I'd argue so far the most a female character gets to actually do in an episode

Spock's face when he sees them kissing is gold (also Spock's face when Noel first says “We've met”);

Another “he's dead, captain” by McCoy

Love the last conversation between McCoy and Kirk

More of Kirk's character: Is a very mentally strong person who to a degree can shake out of the machines manipulation twice, and is very resilient – it's that this trauma is still with him, McCoy and Spock are worried and he reassures them he WILL be fine with a slight smile (but he isn't yet) (Shatner's acting is SO good here)

The horrors of psychiatry / mind manipulation (conversion therapy, shock therapy, forced medication comes to mind), in the 60's extremely relevant but looking around now, still relevant today (sadly)

Van Gelder calling out Kirk: “You smug, button-pushing brass hat! Wash your hands of it. Is that your system?” is a great callout to the people in power ignoring the people in the system

The absolute horrific death of the bad guy by his own device – even though it was his own design, instead of turning the narrative towards “he deserved this” it's made clear that this was a terrible death that no one deserves. Shatner's acting of grief here is great, and this mood stays until the end of the episode

The set up of Dr. Adams being a great man in his field who revolutionized health care for the better having turned to the dark, experimental side and being dangerous – achieving great things or doing good should never stop people from questioning what a (famous) person is doing later on and McCoy was right to do so

Introduction of the Mind meld!

The tension and pacing of the episode are excellent; especially the scenes with the machine are horrific and hard to watch

I cannot overstate how much I love everyone's acting in this episode, but especially Morgan Woodward's depiction of pain, mental illness & urgency and Shatner's suffering & pain at the end

Cons:

Noel making Kirk think they had sex when he was vulnerable was and uncomfortable ( I think it can be sooort of excused by neither of them taking the machine seriously and her having to think of something they both know didn't happen - she clearly wouldn't have taken advantage)

Counter: Fake womanizer Kirk (non con due to hypnosis) Quote: "To all mankind, may we never find space so vast, planets so cold, heart and mind so empty that... that we cannot fill them with love and warmth" - Dr. Adams

Moment: When Kirk uses the mashine for the first time and the viewer realizes how invasive and terrifying this is – he doesn't even know it happened Summary: Great episode with an open political commentary still relevant today, interesting and well acted one time characters and more characterbuilding for the trio – Kirk as Captain putting himself front of the line to find out the truth while Spock and McCoy support him from the ship and swoop in when he needs them to (and them teasing each other a lot!)

Previous Episode - Next Episode - All TOS Reviews

[buttered-milky]

One thing I think is really underrated about Bloodborne is how perfectly it portrays the issue of women as objects of reverence. Let’s take Kos for example. Kos is holy. Kos is revered. Kos is a deity. And yet, when she is called down to the fishing hamlet’s shore and dies in childbirth, even she is not immune to the invasions of men. Kos is a deity, and even she has her stillborn child stolen from her to be dissected and studied at a college as some sort of scientific spectacle. She is an object of reverence, but an object nonetheless.

Real women go through this, where men in their lives claim to love them so much and put them on a pedestal, but when they actually need help or need to just be listened to, they are not. At the end of the day, no matter how loved, many women are still loved only in the way objects are. When it comes to their health and lives, they do not get a say. They do not get the simple right of autonomy. Men still see them as something they can impose themselves on. So what if a woman knows something is wrong with her body? Men who are doctors know better anyways. So what if going untreated makes her condition a permanent damage, when it could’ve been easily fixed? The doctors who told her not to worry were justified! How were they supposed to know they should take women patients seriously, in a world where women are always overdramatic?

Bloodborne hits on that horror of reality for me. It’s feminine in nature, so of course it does. But still. Kos is so fascinating to me because what happened to her was an atrocity and yet, we don’t really see many characters, aside from Maria, recognizing that. That’s interesting in itself, that the men in the game have nothing to say, but Maria throws away her sword because of what she did to Kos. Women lay the curse on the people who stole from Kos. Kos’ experience just feels so horrifyingly feminine.

She’s an object of reverence.

[human-psyche]

HOUSE OF THE RISING RED.

" for them, eternity could last an hour, and an hour infinity... "

title: house of the rising red

characters: jungkook x reader

genre: romance, dark, vampire!jungkook, slightly older!jungkook, mature content

about: when y/n's millionaire family faces bankruptcy, they are reduced to moving in an antique mansion on belle-île-en-mer island, property owned by jeon jungkook一 a so called distant relative whose mysterious persona preceds their questionable blood ties. y/n discovers there is more to the mansion, to the island, and particularly to the secrets surrounding the ungodly handsome jungkook, submerging herself in a history of the preternatural.

a/n: chapter one will be up soon, share if you like. also follow me for more bts stories and content, and feedback is much welcome.

. . .

"Mr. Kim, I don't have time for stupid games. Step aside." 

"And if I don't?" 

"If you don't, we'll have a problem." the imposing presence of Jungkook makes itself known next to her. 

She feels his hand on her lower back, his fingertips sending a slight shiver up her spine even through the thin fabric of her dress. Y/n glances to him, he's an epitome of perfection, from the top of his styled hair to his formal suit, but his eyes are fixed on Taehyung in a challenging stare. 

Taehyung has the inclination to say something, it's clear this is not his first encounter with Jungkook. He doesn't in the end, swallowing a discontented gulp of his glass before walking away. 

"Are you okay?" Jungkook's head swivels to her. 

"I'm fine." she discreetly puts some distance between herself and the dark haired man, still avoiding to look him in the eyes. It's like he has such piercing gaze, searching for an inkling inside her that she's foreign to...

"Come, let's get you a drink. Don't just stand there all night." he grabs her wrist, not bothering with her evasion of him.

Her options are limited, she lets him maneuver her through the hallway and to a calm place in the foyer.

Jungkook whispers an order to one of the maids, not a minute later the woman's return bringing an iced, red colored drink with her on a tray that is unlike the champagne most other guests consume.

"I don't want alcohol."

"It's not. It's a cherryade receipe from Greece."

Satisfied with that explanation, Y/n accepts the glass, taking a few sips. The taste of sourcherries mixes a combination of sour, bitter and sweet, its fruity perfume offering it an aromatic taste. "Do you travel? Some of the items in the mansion are originar to other countries from Europe."

"You noticed?" he muses at her keen sense of observation. "Not anymore. I used to travel before old man Franco died and I inherited the mansion. I have to take care of business here." though that's not the entire truth.

"Aunt Charlotte told us you got your doctorate to the best university in France, why stay here when you could have become a successful businessman somewhere in a big city?"

"This island has sentimental value to me." his gaze dips upon her while she's glimpsing over the attendees of the party. 

Y/n sees how it lingers on the curve of her neck from the corner of her eye, his irises darkening imperceptively, and she's shaken back to reality: even if he comes off as an ordinary man, it doesn't change the peculiarity of last night's scene.

"I know this might offend you, but please stay away from my sister." she hands him the drink, finally confronting the unspoken issue. "She's interested in you but if you have ill intentions, I ask you to think carefully about this. I will not let you harm my family in any way."

Jungkook chuckles. "Brave little thing, aren't you?" his touch is edged with the tug of his lips upward, stroking a strand of her hair between his thumb and index finger. "Pretty, too..."

Her brows knit, he's not taking her seriously, yet it's not just because she's a girl.

It's because she's unaware of many things.

"But are you really worried for your sister or for yourself?" he towers over her, once again messing her unyielding composure. "Do you want me to stay away from her...or from you?"

CHAPTER 1 |

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Two Friends Diverged in Emotional Sincerity: Reflections on Love in the Big City- Part 1

After a very busy week I have finally managed to catch up on the reading schedule and finished Part 1 of Love in the Big City. Thanks @bengiyo for the discussion questions because I have a lot of disparate thoughts that I don’t think I can really condense in to something articulate, so I’ll start with these.  

I guess I will start by saying that I am curious where my relationship to Young will go because I am not in love with his character so far, and to be honest, I love that. Coming from the BL world, we have too many perfect characters, or those that have a single flaw. It is fascinating to me how having access to Young’s private thoughts is really a major contributor to how I am feeling about his character. He is incredibly flaws, Jaehee is incredibly flawed, but they are human characters in a way a lot of the queer characters I have been engaging with lately are not. And Young and Jaehee’s flaws speak to each other. 

@doyou000me, @my-rose-tinted-glasses, and others called the relationship between Jaehee and Young a queer platonic relationship and I wholeheartedly agree. I am in a QPR right now, I cannot imagine what my future looks like without my QPR but there is part of me that knows this cannot last forever. My friend and I live together, we support each other through everything, we tell each other too much, the thought of being far away is odd. But they have a partner now, who I love dearly and who I am so happy they are with, but it has changed the way we interact with each other, because now they have someone else to spend time with and I’m still left alone trying to figure out how to nurture the other real-life friendships I have. I love that I have my QPR because of how legible it makes the relationship between Jaehee and Young to me. I get where they are coming from, I understand how important that relationship is to both of them. I see the small ways they care for one another. 

But life is all about change, and that relationship cannot continue the way it once did. I think that change truly starts around the time of Jaehee’s pregnancy and subsequent abortion. Something I think Jaehee and Young have in common is their strength of character. Even if who they are changes over time they know who they are, they might not like who they are but they know themselves. I am thinking here about Jaehee and Young’s experiences with healthcare, and my own experiences working in healthcare. The way Young is treated face to face with some respect or politeness, and then overhears the prejudice and homophobia that is ingrained in these providers. And he tries to blow it off, he uses his laughter like armor until K, who does not have the same hang ups comes to his defense, shows him that it is okay to feel angry, reads the clinic the riot act. Jaehee does not get the same treatment. Like Young she goes in to her appointment alone, but where Young was harmed passively through an overheard comment, Jaehee is berated, actively, intentionally, in her face for half an hour until she can do nothing but scream. Scream in the face of shame, scream in the face of societal expectations and conservative values, scream for herself because she has no one there to scream for her. Even the nurse, who agrees with her in private that the doctor is being ridiculous and rude and that he was way out of line does not say a word about it when Jaehee is being actively harmed. 

Jaehee and Young make their jokes, and with that I understand an unspoken arrangement between the two to never take anything seriously. We can see it in the way Young processes, or rather doesn’t process his emotions. How in the face of homophobia his instincts are to blow it off with a laugh. How in the face of misogyny and slut shaming Jaehee swipes their stupid fucking uterus model on the way out the door. How they joke about the Fellowship of the Abortion. How Young just so casually in the middle of a sentence references his suicidality and then never speaks of it again. But this unspoken rule between them is what I think is their undoing. 

Because Jaehee gets an abortion, and suddenly things are serious. Suddenly Jaehee is quiet and in intense amounts of pain. Suddenly Jaehee is not responding to Young’s jokes. Suddenly Jaehee is asking Young if he really, truly wants to know the pain she is in…and he says no. And I am not quite convinced that their relationship can be the same after that. Because after her abortion, Jaehee starts to get serious, she gets good grades, she looks for a job, she starts a serious relationship that is important enough to her that she wants Young to meet him. 

And it has me thinking about the fact that Young and K had been together for about as long as Jaehee and her boyfriend had when Young gets the invitation, but Young can’t call K his boyfriend, Young can’t fathom introducing K to a stranger, Young can’t bring himself to really even believe he is in a relationship because he refuses to emotionally connect the way he would really need to for a relationship to last. And the longer Jaehee is in the relationship with her boyfriend, the more serious she gets, she stops partying as hard, you can see these little steps she is taking towards a more calm and mild life. And I’m not sure Young knows what to do with that knowledge. But he doesn’t have to worry about it for long because Jaehee outs him, and he feels betrayed, and he runs. 

Because running is easier than staying and talking through what he is feeling. Running, ghosting, dumping is easier than having to admit his pain, his sadness, his fears. Again, Young’s detachment from his emotions and his nonchalance about his life experiences means he just gives us these brief, off-handed mentions of the shit that he has been through. I do not think Young had any intention of being out in college, but he stood up for Jaehee, his cohort figured it out, and he spent the rest of his college career a social outcast for it. He went in to his military service knowing what could happen to him if people realized he was gay, and so he put himself back in the closet for it. These are things he mentions essentially in passing, and he never really talks about the way those impacted him. But Young knows the punishment for being gay and Jaehee opens a doorway to potential active physical and emotional harm when she tells her boyfriend the truth about Jieun. 

I think I have seen a lot of conversation around the outing, the way that it shows Young that Jaehee is shifting her alignment away from him and towards her boyfriend. Young says he doesn’t understand why he is angry, because all Jaehee had done was tell the truth. But for queer people, the truth can be dangerous and Young does not know Jaehee’s boyfriend like that. We saw from the clinic Jaehee can’t lie to protect herself, and we see from this moment that Jaehee can’t lie to protect Young either. That feels earth shattering to me to someone who used Jaehee’s name as a safety blanket during his time in national service. That feels earth shattering to me to someone who already lost his safety once because of Jaehee. 

But there was something I haven’t really seen anything mentioned about something that definitely hit me hard in what she said:

“-so oppa he’s basically like a girl.”

Jaehee came home and told Young about it. Now, I guess I can’t know for sure that she recounted verbatim what she told her boyfriend. But let’s assume for a moment she did. I fucking hate this line. I know the queer community will frequently feminize their language, gay men referring to each other as girl, using she/her pronouns for each other, etc. but this is different. Young is a gay man he suffers for being a gay man and to see Jaehee’s, I guess, internal perception of Young as “basically a girl” just rubs me the wrong fucking way. 

Especially because I liked what @lurkingshan (and I think others) said about Young and Jaehee bucking tradition in a lot of ways. They were living together as a man and a woman, and their relationship was queer platonic, and that was going against the grain. But, Jaehee still has options to reintegrate herself into the expectations of society, where Young cannot. Jaehee can be wild in her youth, and she can become tamed, and that can be a personal choice or could be from pressure. My impression is that Jaehee changed her outlook on life after she got her abortion, becoming more serious and that Young was just not ready to move past brushing off or otherwise pushing away the serious shit. Not even after K dies. That is, until Jaehee gets married. Until Jaehee voices her fears about the wild parts of her ruining the safety and security she has built in her life. Until Jaehee has literally made a commitment to embrace love, to accept a genuine emotion and she leaves Young in the dust right at the same time he finally lets his emotions stay for a bit.

[unfortunate--moth]

Master Detectives: Milgram AU (part 1???)

So I made a post about this earlier but here I am putting my two interests together in a blender.

for milgram fans that don't know what rain code is, brief explanation: Rain Code is a mystery solving video game where you play as an amnesiac detective who has made a contract with a death god to solve mysteries. He's part of the World Detective Organization and many others that are part of it become Master Detectives by having these powers called Fortes that are very useful for mystery solving.

With that out of the way, I shall now begin rambling.

So obviously Es is the protagonist and Jackalope is our fucked up little death god. Es doesn't know why they're a detective and sure as hell doesn't know why the fuck they made a contract with an annoying little rabbit thing. So they also don't know their forte- if they even have one. but they meet the other master detectives and begrudgingly have to work with them even though they seriously don't want to.

Yuno | Forte: Glamour With her ability, anyone who looks at her will see their ideal partner. Romantic, platonic, or otherwise. She can only use it for a short period of time, but she uses it to draw information out of suspects. She doesn't take her job too seriously, and she rarely ever takes on jobs that could be dangerous. She excels with interrogation and information gathering, but when it comes to investigating, she isn't the best at it. Still, she's very observant.

Fuuta | Forte: Technology Manipulation He can manipulate technology. To be specific, he can take control over other devices, transfer data from one device to another, see things a person has deleted or hidden, and things of that nature. It comes with limitations, of course. There's a range limit to his ability, not being able to take control of other devices outside of it. A bit of a loose cannon as a detective. While is ability is useful, he tends to jump to conclusions and usually has to pair up with someone so he doesn't convict the wrong person. He is smart, and has solved many cases before, but he tends to work by his own rules rather than the WDO's.

Shidou | Forte: Instant Examination With his forte, Shidou is able to see the state of any living or dead body. He'll be able to see the state any body is in, what injuries there could be, if anything is in their system, and so on. He can't use it on bodies that are already decomposed. With his ability, he's most useful in murder cases. As a doctor, he's also helpful if anyone has been injured. However, his ability doesn't include healing. He can see everything, but he would have to fix things in the traditional way. So even with this ability, he's still managed to lose some people.

Amane | Forte: Divination With her ability, she can gain insight on the future of things. However, her forte is a bit fickle, and she can't control what she'll see. Sometimes it's incredibly useful, but other times it may show her completely unrelated things. Using it too much at once has negative consequences, often leading to her fainting or hallucinating. She didn't join of her own volition. Rather, she was scouted for it. She doesn't really have a interest in mysteries or solving them, but she's come to see them more as a test rather than anything else.

Thats it for now. As you can see, I only wrote down 4 characters mainly because I'm having a very hard time coming up with abilities for everyone else. It's a bit harder than I thought to come up with mystery solving abilities. but yeah anyways!! i may make another post about this if I come up with more, or I might just ramble about other ideas I may have in the future. if you have any ideas you'd like to share I'd love to hear :]

[indolamine]

hey y'all 🤍 here's a link for INFO on jiyeon, but i'll include some bullet points here with all you need to know. in case anything here sparks ideas for your muse and you'd like to work on a plot, hmu. i do prefer dscrd, so don't hesitate to ask. oh and i'd appreciate it if you could shoot me a dm first so my account doesn't get banned trying to touch base with the likes (say literally anything, hit me with a send it to me rachel if you'd be so kind). still, if you'd rather just hit like it's fine, i'll reach out once tumblr allows me!

jiyeon is what you'd call an Interesting Girl. someone you don't call or arrange schedules with, just happen upon. someone who never calls you but can be your best friend between 11pm and 3am. a fun girl, you just don't look too long.

both her parents are dead for all intents and purposes, which's proven to be a very character defining event in her life. one of her fathers passed away before she was even code, and the other chose to virtually die to work as a doctor for terrascape when she turned 18.

as single beneficiary to both her fathers, jiyeon found herself young, alone and newly rich. she's not particularly self destructive, but choices were made. luckily? for the most part, she was too stunned by grief and anger to blow away her fortune, which now affords her a cushy life she doesn't dwell too hard on.

she's emotionally stunted, still reliving the loss of her parents somewhere in her mind at every moment. she knows a lot of people, calls them friends but struggles to connect with them, blinking in and out of their lives. death is a constant thought, not quite a morbid fascination but more of a haunting. she knows, poor little rich girl.

she writes -- tries to, anyway. she's got some essays published, wrote for a column for a hot minute, it's her definitive trade of choice. but, and not to get too meta, the thing about writing is that you do have to write. that's the tricky part. merits were a good incentive, though once they're no longer an issue, she finds herself ignoring deadlines and putting off work on the novel she's been writing for the past 4 years. she instead "gathers experiences". she has many talents that she has no interest in seriously exploring, so she entertains herself while the high lasts.

between her writing and her party girl fame, at some point along the way she amassed a following on social media that she hesitates to cut loose. they make her more interesting than she, merely human, could ever hope to be, and she doesn't know how to kill the part of her that answers to their call. it's a lie when she says she doesn't look at what they say.

adult life for her breezes by in parties with half-friends and long bouts of reclusion. she wants to be a little of everything. she enjoys reading, skiing, playing silly little meta indie games about living in hyper realities. she doesn't commit to romantic relationships, yet enjoys the hunt anyway. she takes her time, and it never seems to align with anyone else's.

& here's a rolling list of canons that could also serve as potential connections for anyone interested, will add more as they come to me:

she once got involved with a couple for some brief months and it didn't end well

one of the few things she gets competitive about is skiing

she's fucked someone's significant other purely out of spite

she has a writing group whose meetings she misses often but she isn't the only one so she feels like it's a safe space

the person she plays a random weird rpg with incognito is maybe the most consistent relationship in her life, their chats can get very personal and strange and they can go weeks on no contact but go right back to where they left off

the events surrounding gyuok pique her interest because it's the first time terra residents could potentially be hearing from a virtually deceased and because he's essentially a virtual ghost which she thinks is neat

one of her published essays focuses on a celebrity she knows personally and doesn't portray them in the best light, which soured their relationship

[blissfullyapillow]

Oh my, oh my God, 예상했어 나

Oh my, oh my God, 예상했어 나

I was really hoping that he will come through

Wanderer x female reader

wc: ~14,138

Notes: Another fic I wrote with my oc in mind but you can read it as an x reader as well <3, this was inspired by the song OMG by NewJeans but not heavily, tons of characters make an appearance (Diluc, Kaeya, Kaveh, Alhaitham, Pantalone, Capitano, Tighnari, Ayato, etc.) the notes will be too long if I list everyone, this is super long but I hope you enjoy lol ଘ(੭´꒳`)°* ੈ‧₊˚

Back to Masterlist A

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

I stare at him across the comically large table (desk? Whatever, it doesn’t really matter) as Capitano updates us on his recent endeavors.

As the others jokingly sing his praises, I study the prickly man in front of me. Scara obviously feels my gaze, if his light foot taping is anything to go by, but he refuses to make eye contact with me as he studies the other harbingers with lifeless eyes.

Out of everyone here, I’m the most curious about him. Pantalone is gorgeous but he’s amiable with the doctor (whom I hate) and the females here scare me.

Seriously. They’re ruthless.

Childe is the only Harbinger I feel comfortable enough to talk to, although I hesitate to approach him at times because it almost always ends in a sparring match.

The outcome is always the same, but despite his many losses against me he continuously asks me to spar. Recently I get the feeling it’s his way of saying he wants to get to know me, so I don’t mind, but my muscles are sore and I need a moment of respite. I eye Capitano as I wonder what he looks like underneath the mask. What kind of man is Capitano truly? There must be more to him that lies beneath the surface.

I have a feeling his story is an interesting one. Even so, my eyes find their usual target ahead of me as I watch Scaramouche. He’s called upon by one of the other harbingers, and I dutifully listen to his report despite tuning Capitano’s out mere moments ago.

Once he’s done we have our usual wrap up before we disperse. I sigh, grateful I wasn’t needed this time around. As I get up to leave I curse under my breath when the Tsaritsa calls for me.

Spoke too soon.

I briskly walk over to her and respectfully heed her orders. My jaw ticks as I conceal my anger that seethes beneath the surface of my cheerful façade. How does she have the audacity to treat me like her daughter?

Deplorable.

“Y/n, it’s time for you to complete your first mission. The beggars we discussed this meeting still haven’t taken kindly to our …requests. We must show them what it means to take our warnings lightly. Since this is your first mission, you may take a harbinger with you.” I feel a cold sweat come over me.

Am I really going to have to kill these people? I shiver at the mere thought, but I have no other option but to oblige. I fear what the Tsaritsa will do to me if I don’t comply, and I rather not experience anymore of her “love.”

My decision is immediately made, but I attempt to make eye contact with him to see what his thoughts are on the situation. His hat was previously obscuring his face, but now an eye peaks out under it to glare at me with murderous intent.

Do not pick me, his expression screams.

I catch Tartaglia’s eye, but I ignore him as Scaramouche’s name leaves my lips.

“Great. Scaramouche, go on. I expect great things from you two.” With that I make my way towards the exit, and I hear Scaramouche’s low grumble behind me as he follows me.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

“Why did you pick me?” Hours into our trip he finally talks to me. Throughout the duration of our journey he rotated between making noises of disapproval, insulting me, or just silently glaring at me with the intent to kill.

“Honestly, I’m not so sure myself. Something about you just… draws me to you. I don’t know.” My response leaves him nonplussed as he opts to ignore me as we continue our journey.

We finally reach our destination, and I watch in horror as Scaramouche literally chokes the life out of the man before me. His eyes turn to one of the last people alive, but before he can move towards them I stomp my feet, creating an icy barrier between him and the other person.

“What do you think you’re doing?” His low voice irks me. “What is wrong with you!? This man clearly told you they were holding him hostage and-“ I move away as the man nearly misses cutting off my neck with his knife. Scaramouche is the one who pushes me out of the way.

“You dimwit! He was clearly lying.” He shouts above me. One of his arms cracks as the man pierces it, but it isn’t long before he joins the rest of the corpses that litter the red stained snow.

Scaramouche says nothing as he gets off of me. “Let’s return.” Is all he says. I follow him, hoping he won’t turn his anger onto me.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

“How did you know he was lying?” I ask as we near our destination.  “His eyes. They gave him away. Filthy scum.” I recall the man's face, and his eyes pop in my mind. I remember the way they kept darting down as he kept looking behind him.

“Huh. I guess my shock clouded my judgment-“ “No shit it did.” It’s my turn to glare at the puppet beside me as he scoffs. “That’s a good look on you. Next time, make sure you’re useful without dragging me down. I know the Tsaritsa wouldn’t take kindly to me injuring her precious child, so you’re in luck.” He laughs at my annoyed expression.

I don’t know how, but he knows. He knows I hate this and the Tsaritsa for what she’s done. Even so, he pokes fun at me some more before we finally return and he goes back to glaring at me in silence.

The Tsaritsa is pleased with us, and we are dismissed. “Next time, don’t pick me.” Are his final words before he walks away with the doctor.

Jerk.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

“Scaramouche.” I pick him again, and again he glares at me. The Tsaritsa is easing me into the whole Harbinger ordeal, and I know it’s only because she favors me for some twisted reason.

“Let’s go.” He says gruffly. This time he roughly grabs my hand as he drags me outside. “What did I tell you last time?” He states more than asks.

“Do not pick you. Too bad I don’t follow your orders, nor do I have to.” I relish the annoyed tick that shows on his face. I roughly remove my hand from his as I keep walking beside him.

“Well, at least this time we don’t have to kill.” I cheer. “Tch. You’re more naïve than I thought.” When I curiously question his words, he replies, “You may think the Tsaritsa is being kind, and in a way she is, but these missions are more than just rookie missions. They’re meant to harden you. Those last people we fought? They originally were ordinary civilians turned criminals due to hardships that had fallen upon them. Hmmm, I wonder who backed them into that corner?” Scaramouche wonders aloud.

I stop walking dead in my tracks. “W-Wait, so what she said was-“ “A lie? Yeah. Get used to that. Keep walking.” He says. I do, but I feel sick to my stomach as I pray the tears on my lashes don’t fall.

Now that I think about it, there was a familiar food cart not too far from them. The food cart is well known in Snezhnaya, but it was torn  to shreds and ripped apart.

I assumed it had nothing to do with our mission and it belong to someone else, but ….

My thoughts are voiced by none other than Scaramouche as he laughs before saying, “The Tsaritsa’s love truly is cruel.”

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

I continue to pick Scaramouche as my companion for my missions, and he begrudgingly complies. It’s to the point the other harbingers tease us about it.

“Ah, talking to the puppet again?” The knave snickers as I walk past her with said puppet by my side. “His name’s Scaramouche, and he’s more than just a puppet.” I say. She chuckled before ruffling my hair. “Yeah, whatever kid.” She’s off soon after, leaving Scaramouche to gawk at me.

“Why lie to her? What do you gain out of that?” He grunts. I notice the way his frown doesn’t fully reach his eyes, and his arms are crossed in front of him. As if to protect his heart.

It only takes a moment before I say, “I only told her the truth. Let’s hurry today so we can make it back in time for dinner.” As I swiftly walk past Scaramouche, I take notice of the way he tugs his hat down to hide his expression.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

“You’re insufferable. Haven’t you had enough yet, or do you get off on this? …stupid bug.” I try to hold in my laughter at his lame insult but I fail miserably when his serious eyes latch onto mine.

“If you really want me to, I’ll pick someone else. I am interested in getting to know some of the others.” I tell him. His eyes widen a bit but nonetheless he walks off and dismisses me. “Do what you want.”

I knew that would be his response, as he doesn’t truly care about anyone, but I still can’t help but feel a twinge of hurt.

That day, I choose Pantalone.

All heads swivel to face Pantalone, and even he has a rare expression of surprise. “Ah, what a pleasant surprise.” I ignore Scara as we pass him, and the harbingers jabs and jokes fade away as I leave with Pantalone.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

My mission with Pantalone went smoothly. He’s…. interesting. He pry's too much though. We constantly tried to outsmart each other in an attempt to get the other to reveal more information about themselves.

It was tiring, albeit exhilarating.

My next choice is Arlecchino, and I chuckle at Scaramouche’s annoyed expression.

If I’m not careful, I would fall for the Knave’s charm. I’m a little weary of her since I know of her dark nature, but nonetheless she doesn’t seem to dislike me and that’s more than enough for me.

Next I choose Tartaglia, and we have a fun time together. We end up racing on the way back, and we both try not to laugh as the Tsaritsa sternly scolds us for our childish and improper behavior as her representatives.

At this point, I am more than capable of completing missions on my own. Despite this, the Tsaritsa still allows me to pick a companion if I so wish. So, I choose the next person of interest.

Capitano stiffens in his seat, but he gets up to accompany nonetheless. Surprisingly, someone speaks up.

“Take me instead.” I hear Colombia snicker beside me as Scaramouche stands where he is. I eye him suspiciously since he was so adamant on me picking others.

When I see something swirl within his usually lifeless eyes, I pick him instead of Capitano.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

“I thought you wanted me to pick others?” I ask him. He hums in contemplation, but he doesn’t answer me.

I end up completing the mission on my own as he watches on, and I thank him when he covers me from behind at an unexpected ambush.

“You’ve grown stronger.” He breaks the comfortable silence. I mull over his question as flurries begin falling from the sky.

“Yup. I learned a lot from the others, unlike you.” I giggle at his angry expression. “But… I don’t enjoy myself with them as much as I do with you. Well, maybe Tartaglia. Although I know how you feel about him.” My teasing response results in an eye-roll. “He’s a fool.” “And so are you.” My quick response catches him by surprise, but he’s quick to mask it.

“What do you mean?” He tentatively asks. He sounds so stiff, and I can’t help but chuckle at how unintentionally cute he’s being. “You allow the doctor to use you for his experiments. It honestly infuriates me. No one else sees you as more than a puppet. I would’ve thought the same if I wasn’t so “soft-hearted” as you like to say. I’m actually trying to get to know you, and well…. I’ve drawn my own conclusions about you. I believe my conclusions are in your favor. Oh, we’re here.” I say. I turn to him and he clearly wants me to continue, but I opt for opening the door for him.

“You may enter, your highness.” I gracefully hold the door open for him as I bow. “You’re intolerable. Moron.” He huffs. As he walks in, I stare at his back. His shoulders slightly rise, and a small smile takes over my features.

I’ve never seen him laugh without malice before.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

I do what I must to survive, and before I know it I’m a full fledged unofficial member of the harbingers. The Tsaritsa prefers to keep my presence a secret since I may be recognized by those who previously knew my mom.

I can’t help but bitterly laugh at the irony of my situation. Thankfully, I’ve finally devised a way to escape the shackles of the Tsaritsa’s “benevolence.”

There is an approaching snowstorm. The Tsaritsa has an essential task she needs completed before the snowstorm covers the land of Snezhnaya with heavy snowfall. I unfortunately had to beg a little for her to allow me to go, she thankfully relented. I’m much stronger than I was years prior, and anyone here can acknowledge that. I’m allowed to undergo the mission alone on the premise I return before the snow begins to fall in heavy flurries.

The mission is easy. A group of bandits using the fatui’s name to do as they please. I handle them with ease well before the snow begins to fall.

Perfect. I begin making my way towards my destination in haste. The snow shall be my curtain as I make my way towards the one ship leaving Snezhnaya tonight. This is my one and only chance to believably escape the Tsaritsa. Me falling in combat isn’t believable, but getting lost in the snowstorm is much more likely, albeit only a little.

The snowstorms in Snezhnaya are intense and harsh. If you’re unlucky enough to get caught in the storm, you’re as good as dead. Just leaving your home without multiple layers of clothing, on a normal day, is asking for an illness to befall you.

I shiver as I trudge through the cold winter of Snezhnaya. The snow is beginning to fall in earnest now, and it’s getting hard to see my feet in front of me. It doesn’t matter, I need to make it to the ship before it’s too late.

It takes me a while but I make it just in time to board the ship unannounced. Just as I’m about to board, a voice calls for me in the distance.

I freeze.

No, she wouldn’t have.

But she did, and Scaramouche’s short figure is outlined by the thick snow falling from the sky. “The Tsaritsa wanted me to ensure you made it back safely. Honestly, this is a real hassle you know.” He scoffs as he makes his way over to me. My feet are rooted to the spot. Scaramouche isn’t someone easily fooled, but I must leave. My getaway blows its horn once in preparation to depart.

“Well, let’s go. I can’t feel the cold but I’m sure you must be freezing, mortal. You…” his voice trails off once he stops directly in front of me, and his eyes bore into mine. “What are you planning?” He asks himself more than me. He peers into the blanket of white, and he obviously makes out the ship behind me because he starts laughing.

“You seriously think you can escape the Tsaritsa? You’re her favorite you know. She’ll search for you even if I gave her an accurate fake body. You’re not safe in this world as long as she’s around.” He chuckles, but I see a glint of something in his eyes. “Scaramouche, please. Let me go.” I know asking him is pointless. He doesn’t feel emotions like I do, at least in his perspective, and he couldn’t care less about me or my wellbeing.

I look down as tears threaten to fall and my heart lurches in my throat. So close yet so far.

I can’t let it end here.

“Scara-“  “Let’s make a deal. We got separated by the thick snow after we encountered one of Snezhnaya’s infamous avalanches. We pass by a mountain on our way here, so it’s believable. I search for you for hours but I’m unable to find you. I return demanding a search party. When she can’t find you she’ll initially be grief stricken, but I’m sure she’ll only become more determined to find you. I do this on the condition you heed my beck and call in the future, when I put that plan into action.” I gasp at his words, equally grateful and confused.

I purposefully overheard a conversation between the doctor and Scaramouche about their plans for him to become a “false god.” I escaped the doctor’s watchful eyes somehow, and even though I bumped into one of his clones they were too occupied to put two and two together.

I wasn’t so lucky with Scaramouche, but he ultimately didn’t care that I knew so long as I kept that information to myself.

I sigh and pull Scaramouche in for a hug. He groans and complains as I hug him tight. “Thank you thank you thank you!” I breathlessly thank him for his uncharacteristic display of kindness. “Whatever. Now go before I change my mind. You’ll no longer be a thorn in my side, so this is a beneficial situation for both you and I…. and…“ His breath hitches towards the end of his sentence, like he wants to say more but he chooses not to.

I know. I understand the unspoken words and feelings he has yet to realize he has. Hopefully that’ll change with time. Time thatI yearn to spend with him, but under more desirable circumstances. Nonetheless, I squeeze his arm as I pull away. “We’ll meet again. You can’t get rid of me that easily. Take care of yourself in the meantime, okay? I lo- I’ll miss you.” I quickly correct myself.

The balladeer stands before me with the most expressive facial expression I’ve ever seen on him before.

“… I like you. People say I have no taste, but I like you. So stay alive so we can meet again. Farewell, y/n.” With that he turns on his heel, unmoving.

I let out raucous laughter before I race towards the now departing ship. I make it just in time to board by making ict pedestals against the side of the ship. As the ship departs the obscure dock, I watch the short figure in the distance. He still doesn’t move even when he’s a mere speck in the distance.

I can’t help but clutch the glowing masterless vision against my chest. My mother’s.

I refuse to weep, but a stubborn tear slips past. If he truly doesn’t have a heart, why did he look after me in his own way? Why did he let me go?

I can only sigh.

Along with the sorrow of leaving Scaramouche behind, I feel a newfound sense of excitement and.. freedom.

Even though I’ll have to live my life in fear of the Tsaritsa finding me again, I’m finally free.

Free from Snezhnaya. Free from the Tsaritsa.

Free from my mother’s lingering regret that she couldn’t escape the Tsaritsa’s watchful eye, which ultimately led to her demise.

As the motherland fades in the distance and I sneeze from the low temperature, a glowing light shines against the darkness of the surrounding sea.

I gingerly hold the Anemo vision in my hands, and I finally allow myself to smile.

I’m finally free, yet there’s a sharp pain in my chest. It doesn’t stem from a physical cause, but from a psychological one.

This feeling…

This must be what it means to have an aching, broken heart.

⁎⁺˳  ✧༚ ˎˊ˗    ♡     ˗ˏˋയ ✩

“Is that the honorary knight?” I think out loud as I peek my head out from behind a building. I swiftly resume my previous hiding place when they glance in my direction moments later.

I breathe a sigh of relief when no one comes to investigate. I continue walking to my destination, and I close my eyes in bliss as the wind carries away all of my worries.

I’m curious about this traveler. Maybe I’ll follow them for a bit and see what they’re up to. Knowing the truth of this world, an outsider is certain to shake things up. And the Tsaritsa…

I scold myself for thinking about her after I’ve already left Snezhnaya. What she did to mom-

A flurry of images of my mom before her death rush back to me, and the Tsaritsa’s face accompanies the painful memories. I clutch the hem of my clothing and take a few, slow deep breaths. My skin feels clammy and I’m suddenly feeling lightheaded.

“Oh? What’s a pretty lady like you doing leaning against the wall like that? We haven’t even been properly introduced yet, but here you are falling for me already.” I ignore the teasing cavalry captain, who was previously talking to the traveler, as I focus on calming my panicked mind.

It takes me a few moments, but I eventually manage to calm myself down. Once my mind is clear I finally feel the soothing hand from the cavalry captain rubbing up and down my back.

Oh, maybe I didn’t do it completely on my own.

“.. Thanks.” I shyly thank him, and when I look up to see his face I’m greeted with his handsome smile. “No problem. How about we sit down and chat, hm? I noticed you staring at the traveler and I earlier, and I’m curious as to what your reasons are.” The man hums and before I know it he’s leading me to sit at one of the table’s outside of Angel’s Share.

Ah, this man is clever. I have to be careful not to slip up in front of him, but I’ve never struggled before.

“So, where are you from? I’ve never seen you in Mondstadt before.” He curiously asks me. His eyes languidly drift over my features before they peer into my eyes. He’s openly reading me, so I take the opportunity to do the same. I sense a familiar pain hidden in his uncovered eye. Before I can search any deeper he closes his eye to smile before leaning back.

“Oh, you’re going to be a lot of fun to have around. I can feel it.”

⁎⁺˳  ✧༚ ˎˊ˗    ♡     ˗ˏˋയ ✩

“I’ll always return to Mondstadt. It’s another home for me now. I’ll see you when I return, okay?” I bid a semi-tearful farewell to the man before me, and he embraced me with concealed enthusiasm.

“Ah, my dear Y/n. Who will scold me now when I’m supposedly ‘slacking off?’” Kaeya pretends to sob as he runs a hand along my back, just like he did when we first met.

“Your brother will, for sure. ‘Oh, the Knights of Favonius, always so inefficient.” I mimic Diluc’s voice. Kaeya bursts into heartfelt laughter as he releases me. I giggle along with him and turn around, only to face the red head we were just talking about.

I feel my cheeks warm as Diluc sports an unamused look. “You too, Y/n?” He huffs. I open my mouth to respond, but no words come out. I stare into his eyes for a moment before I avert mine in embarrassment. He’s so handsome, he makes me feel so nervous around him!

“Uh- It’s just jokes Diluc.” I nervously chuckle. Diluc’s lips quirk into a smirk before he ruffles my hair. As I complain and fix my hair he says “I know. Have a safe trip. Visit the Angel’s Share again if you need anything. I’m sure I’ll be of more use than the ‘inefficient Knight of Favonious.’” This time it’s Diluc’s turn to mimic me, and Kaeya’s non stop laughter only cranks up in Volume.

Kaeya helped me settle into Mondstadt and assisted me in finding my own place to stay. I managed to avoid revealing anything too specific about my situation. Due to something unspoken between the two of us that Kaeya & I mentally acknowledged about the other, he helped me fit right in to Mondstadt. Since we were outside of Angel’s Share Diluc happened to see us during our  first conversation, and that’s how I got to know the infamous Diluc Ragnvindr.

I remember the story the other Harbingers told me about the red haired man who decimated many Fatui camps, all on his own and without a vision. They relayed their distaste that he managed to escape, but personally meeting Diluc made me glad they failed to finish him off. He’s awfully cute and sweet in his own way. I recall the nights he let me stay with him at the Dawn Winery when Kaeya was still helping me find a home, and I’m forever grateful to the both of them.

“Well, I’ll be seeing you. Bring back something from your travels, okay?” With that Diluc is ready to see me off, a solemn smile on his face. “Of course! Anything for you Diluc.” My overeager response surprises both of us as I blush in embarrassment. Diluc looks taken aback as he awkwardly coughs into his sleeve. A blush lights up his face like a beacon; I can’t help but giggle at the sight of his flustered expression.

“Alright, alright. Off you go!” Kaeya ushers me forward and I make my way to my next destination: Liyue.

I begin my journey with a running start. I make a brief stop at the big tree at Windrise. I close my eyes and allow myself a moment to be vulnerable as I pray for my mother. “Anemo archon Barbatos, please watch over my journey as I explore the depths and secrets of this world.” I stand, and my prayers are immediately answered.

I swivel around at the sound of a joyful voice. Ah, Venti. The Archon himself stands before me with a goofy smile on his face. “Well hello there! What brings you here? I happened to be passing by and…” he trails off. I’m sure my expression is one of shock, but also glee. I’ve always liked the Anemo Archon most from the stories the Tsaritsa would tell me. “Bar- Ahem. Venti, I’m honored to be able to meet you!” I try to contain my childlike glee at meeting the Anemo Archon.

Venti’s expression is one of surprise and curiosity. “Well well, it looks like the most curious individual has arrived here in Mondstadt. Say, why don’t you tell me your tale? I have a feeling it’s grand, and a story the world shall refuse to find bland.” I can’t help the smile that reaches my ears as the bard before me poetically asks for my story.

“Hm. I’ll save it for another day. I bet it’s not as amazing as yours, little wind spirit.” Venti’s mouth falls agape, and before he can say another word I’m gone from his line of sight in a flurry of snowflakes and a strong gust of wind.

⁎⁺˳  ✧༚ ˎˊ˗    ♡     ˗ˏˋയ ✩

“So, who is he?” The Geo Archon prompts. “Hmm?” I inquire. I watch as Zhongli blows his cup of tea before taking a sip. I follow his lead, and I swoon at the exquisite taste of tea and fine delicacies he’s prepared for our meal.

I got the Geo Archon to sit down with me after confiding in him. I may or may not have been sorrowfully staring at the dark Liyue clouds above as the rain masked my tears.

Zhongli happened to pass by, and despite my insistence that I was fine he ushered me inside and offered to lend me an ear.

Instead of talking about the thoughts that were actually plaguing my thoughts, I end up becoming side tracked as I gush to Zhongli about Scaramouche.

Of course he doesn’t know who it is I’m talking about, but that doesn’t stop me from spilling my heartfelt feelings to him. “Hmm… honestly, I’m not sure. What if I’m the only one who feels this way? It’s likely. You know how he is.” Zhongli nods thoughtfully at my words. “Even so, it’d be hard for him to not feel gratitude, at the very least. If he really is as bloodthirsty and cruel as you say he is, then he wouldn’t have saved you. Although I don’t have all the details, I’m sure this man harbors feelings that you may be unaware of. Whether these are the feelings you hope they are is another issue entirely, but something tells me you aren’t the only one who is harboring feelings for the other.” Zhongli’s words cause the unmistakable feeling of hope to swell up inside of me.

I hate the way I blush and avert my eyes. I start smiling like a lovestruck fool, so I attempt to hide my smile behind my tea cup after taking another sip.

“Ah, there it is. I see the love you have for this man in your eyes.” My mouth falls open as words fail me, and Zhongli lets out a hearty chuckle. “To be young and in love… What a beautiful thing.” I remain silent as I finish the tea, and as the rain pelts a euphonious sound outside I relish in the calm atmosphere that surrounds the Geo Archon and I.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

“What should I do?” I whine to Xingqiu. He hums as he contemplates his response whereas Chongyun responds almost immediately.

“Why don’t you continue exploring? This world is vast, but I’m sure you’ll run into him again at some point.” Chongyun bites into his Popsicle, and I eat the one I begged him to give me.

It’s comforting eating something with no taste. I see why this calms Chongyun down.

Xingqiu bites into his own Popsicle (we may or may not have teased Chongyun to the point he caved and gave us both a Popsicle) as his eyes light up. It seems he’s found his answer.

“I agree. If it’s meant to be, you will see each other again. Don’t hold yourself back, and pursue what it is that you truly want.” I ponder Xingqiu’s words as Chongyun asks him where he learned to tell such great advice.

What is it that I want though?

I feel their eyes on me but I hang my head so my hair will obscure my eyes.

“If you do not know what it is that you want, I hope you’ll be able to find it during your travels.” Xingqiu reads my mind, and his comforting hand running along my back gives me a sense of comfort.

Chongyun joins in on the back rubbing, and I laugh at their complaints towards each other when their hands keep bumping into each other.

I have an idea of where my path lies, and it all starts with the father I have not had the opportunity to know.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

The scenery is beautiful…

I gasp in awe when the sakura petals fall from the beautiful trees surrounding the city.  I need to stay on task, but the beautiful sites are distracting.

It took a lot of time and effort to make it to Inazuma while the decree is going on. I also made sure to hide my visions on my person. I can fend off anyone who tries to take my visions from me, but it’s honestly too much hassle. I’d rather just hide them for the time being.

“Now, I have almost nothing to go off of and a father to find. Hooray!” I falsely cheer under my breath. I continue to navigate the somewhat lively streets of Inazuma. I’m sure things will perk up once this stupid decree is over.

I convinced Captain Beidou to take me to Inazuma, with the help of my lovely friends from Liyue, and I had the pleasure of meeting a wandering samurai.

Once Beidou docked at Inazuma I immediately scurried off with a brief farewell to her and the samurai, whose name is apparently Kazuha.

I wind up aimlessly walking around Inazuma for hours before I eventually wander out of the city. I end up in front of a fancy looking building as I walk through the gate. “Oh! Who are you? Are you lost?” A cheerful voice pipes up from beside me.

I jump and place a frightened hand on my chest as I swivel around to face the voice.

Green eyes widen in surprise. “Woah, slow down! I didn’t mean to scare you. …Is everything okay?” I don’t answer as I frantically survey my surroundings. Did I walk into enemy territory?? Will this person try to take my visions? What if-

Oh, wait. My visions are hidden.

I sigh in relief once I remember I hid my visions.

I look down and see a gleaming pyro vision, and the person awkwardly coughs as they maneuver themselves so that it’s out of my line of sight.

“Um… sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you or whoever lives here. I’m just wandering around and looking for my father..” “Oh, no worries at all! Do you have any information about your father? Maybe I can help!” I finally look at the person’s face. He fixes me with a smile, and his friendly demeanor is so warm and comforting I allow myself to relax a bit around him.

“Oh, well-“ “Thoma, would you mind… oh, who’s this?” An audible gasp slips out of me as the most pretty man I’ve ever laid eyes on walks over to Thoma and I. “Oh, Lord Ayato! I was just trying to help this young lady. She seems lost and-“ “Young lady? While I appreciate the compliment, I am of age you know.” I huff. Thoma awkwardly chuckles at that.

“I see. Well, nice to meet you…” Ayato trails off. “Yume.” I supply my name. Ayato’s eyes sharpen slightly in interest, but the coy man before me is quick to mask his expression and continue the conversation. “Ah, an Inazuman name. If your name’s origins lie here, why are you lost? Is it really true you’ve never been here before?” Ayato carefully judges my expression, watching me for any abnormal movements.

Oh?! This man thinks I’m lying!?

I feel my face flush with contained rage as I resist the urge to stomp my foot like a petulant child. “Excuse me, Lord Ayato, I have no reason to insinuate something that isn’t true. I have nothing to gain out of that. I’m simply looking for my father and I was hoping to find any information I could about him. I don’t know him per se because of my.. situation, but I’d love to meet him again. I met him a few times as a child so I remember what he looks like but that is all.” With a huff I finish my tense monologue. Thoma looks on with wide eyes as Ayato chuckles to himself.

“Ah, I see. You really are the little firecracker you’ve been told to be.” Ayato’s words cause me to falter, and I’m quick to eagerly look into his eyes. “You know something about me!? Do you potentially… know my father? His surname is-“ “Haruka. Yes, I know. Say, join me for tea later. I unfortunately have urgent business to tend to at the moment. Another meeting…” Ayato says that last part under his breath more to himself than the rest of us.

Thoma attempts to comfort the pretty lord, and I smile as I witness their cute dynamic. “Alright, I’ll see you later Y/n.” With a swift kiss against my hand Ayato is gone.

I giggle like a silly schoolgirl and swoon. Thoma sighs. “That’s the Yashiro Commissioner for you…” Thoma mumbles. “Alright Y/n, let me show you around the estate until my lord returns. This is also a good chance for me to get to know you better.” I agree, and I follow Thoma around what is apparently known as the Kamisato Estate.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Ayaka and I laugh at Thoma’s flustered expression.“You guys are being unfair y’know…” Thoma groans. “Oh? But surely our assumptions had some truth to it. You haven’t denied our claims.” Ayaka hums. Thoma remains silent which causes me to burst into another fit of giggles. “Ah, whatever. Hopefully lord Ayato will return soon so I can- hey, look who just walked in!” Thoma comically shoots up from his seat to greet an amused Ayato.

Aw man, no more teasing Thoma.

“I have returned. Ah, Ayaka. How was your day?” Ayato takes time to address Ayaka and ask her about her day and what she’s been up to, and by the gleam in her eyes I can tell she appreciates it. I smile fondly as I watch the three of them converse. It must feel to be surrounded by the ones you love.

Ayato catches my eye, and I quickly lower my gaze to the ground and fiddle with the hem of my clothes. Ayato finishes his conversation with Thoma and Ayaka, and I bid them farewell as they leave. Ayato takes a moment to watch them go before he turns around. His eyes are curious, and I hold his gaze for a moment.

He chuckles to himself before he makes his way over to me and sits across from me. He asks me how I feel about the Kamisato Estate, and he leans his head against his propped hand as his eyes bore into mine.

“You’re- I mean!- It’s beautiful, and It’s filled with equally beautiful souls.” I mentally pat myself on the back for my somewhat smooth save, and he looks a bit taken aback.

“Oh? I wouldn’t have taken you for a smooth talker.” Ayato chuckles.

I bashfully laugh off his remark before the room returns to silence.

Come on Y/n, stop being so awkward!

I close my eyes and take a deep breath to calm my nerves. Okay, now my head is in the game.

"So, what do you know about my father? Is he the one you heard that little tidbit about me from?" I ask with an audible quiver in my voice.

Great.

Well at least I got the question out. I squirm and hope he doesn't mention my obvious nerves. “Well, your father... I've met your father a total of three times, and each time is an experience I will never forget. Your father is an interesting man, and I happened upon him numerous times while out on … business endeavors. Thanks to your fathers' actions the most elusive individuals that have avoided the law for years have been caught." I take a moment to absorb Ayato's words. "So... My dad's like Shikanoin Heizou?" My question catches him by surprise, before he laughs with evident mirth. "How do you know about detective Shikanoin Heizou?"

I blush as I recount the sight of Heizou walking around the streets of Inazuma. I have yet to personally meet him, but I got a good vibe from him when I observed him from afar. The only reason I even learned of his name is because citizens nearby started gossiping about him, and I asked them to clue me in.

“People told me that Shikanoin Heizou is the man to ask if I'm searching for someone. Apparently, he's the best of the best." Ayato sips his boba as he listens to me, and I do my best to keep my face neutral when he keeps sipping even though the cup is clearly empty.

I can relate. I do the same thing whenever I'm drinking my favorite beverage.

Ayato hums before he abruptly sits up. I follow his lead, albeit a bit confused, and he leads me out of the Kamisato Estate. As we continue walking, he finally speaks up. "You're one step ahead of me. ..How unusual. I was going to suggest you seek out Shikanoin Heizou since I have no information on the whereabouts of your father. To answer your earlier inquiry, yes. In a way, your father is like Shikanoin Heizou except… the means he uses to seek and destroy his enemies is... well... not entirely legal. Still, in my eyes he's a good man. He mentioned his daughter in a distant land the last time I happened across him. I believe it was a slip of the tongue said in a moment of vulnerability. Nonetheless, I shall introduce you to the Tenryou Commission's best detective. He can guide you in the right direction, better than I ever could." With that, I remain silent as Ayato leads me to my destination.

I can’t help but wonder what you’ve been up to all these years, father. Actually, I guess the real question is…

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

“How have you been?” I nervously ask Heizou in an attempt to break the ice.

“Better now that I’ve finally secured the final piece to this unsolved mystery. Archons! I’ve been so close to catching this man yet so far since I was missing this vital piece of information for months. This is unusual for me, you know. I usually catch my culprits quickly. Hey, how about I treat you to something after this? Only if you’re up to it of course. A pretty lady like yourself deserves such a reward.” I swear all these handsome, beautiful, and downright gorgeous men are going to be the death of me!

Why is Inazuma filled with pretty men??

“I- um, yes! I’ll take you up on that offer. Thank you very much.” I furiously blush when Heizou turns around to send a wink in my direction as we continue our quick pace towards our destination. “If I’m correct, he should be just about ready to leave based on his usual pattern. So right here would be-“ Heizou is surprisingly swift and agile, so he’s a bit ahead of me. He’s even further ahead now, so I quicken my steps and attempt to catch up. I stop when I accidentally bump into a large figure.

“Oh my gosh I’m sorry! I apologize but I can’t stop, I’m in a..” I would’ve kept going if I didn’t catch a glimpse of their eyes under their hood.

Eyes that resemble mine.

We both freeze for a moment.

“Um.. I may be mistaken, and I am I apologize, but could you happen to be-“

I don’t even get a chance to finish my sentence. He’s quick to maneuver himself out of my way and run off.

Oh no he doesn’t.

I give chase, leaving Shikanoin behind.

..well, ahead. I guess.

Only behind for a few moments though, since I see him giving chase when I glance behind me.

“Father, wait!” I grunt as I follow my father’s annoying escape route. Over buildings, over pesky fences, through narrow spaces, he goes above and beyond to shake me off his trail.

He’ll have to try harder than this, but if I don’t do something soon he’ll definitely slip through my fingers.

I pray Heizou is close enough, and I use an object I spot nearby and drop it to the ground, blocking Heizou’s path. I have faith he’ll take the hint, as it’s very obvious, and I continue chasing the person I’m convinced is my father.

It isn’t long before we circle around the small space we’re in, since we’re in a busier area now and it’s hard for them to move around all the architecture while simultaneously avoiding me.

I glance in the direction I hope Heizou is in, and I use my Cryo vision yet again to encapsulate us and anyone in the vicinity in an icy cage.

The person stops and begins to scale the ice.

Why am I not surprised?

I worry that Heizou really wasn’t behind me when the person is at the top of the ice cage. I watch in despair as they carefully avoid the sharp outer edges of my temporary prison.

Before they are able to finish scaling the ice, I hear a familiar voice.

“Can’t fool me!” A  whirlwind knocks the person midair.

Game over!

With the wind as my wings I soar into the sky and tightly grasp the person in my arms. They struggle, and because of their build it’ll only be a moment before they’re released from my strong grip.

A moment was all I needed.

I hate to do this, but I use this moment to freeze the individual with my vision.

They cry out for a moment, for me to stop, but it’s only a matter of seconds before they’re a frozen statue in my arms.

I feel myself fall back to the hard ground below as they now weigh way more than they did before. In a panic I create a slide of sorts to bring us back down and away from the gathered crowd of spectators.

I’ll have to thank Heizou later, but for now I have a few words I wish to exchange with my father in private.

…This’ll be really embarrassing if this isn’t my father.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

“What do you want, kid? I swear you got your stubbornness from your mom.” My dad sighs from across the fire I built for him to cool off.

Pun intended.

He was not pleased as the ice around him slowly melted, but I’m more than grateful that he didn’t attempt to run again and agreed to talk with me over the fire and some delicious food.

He eats the food I made while keeping steady eye contact with me. I can’t help but feel a bit nostalgic, even though I have no recollection of doing things like this with him before.

“Hey, father? Why… why didn’t you come with mom to Snezhnaya?” My question catches him off guard. He’s silent only for a moment before he groans as he takes another bite of the food we prepared.

“Listen-“ The look I give him causes him to close his mouth for a moment before he opens it again to properly explain himself.

“Your mother.. I didn’t follow her to Snezhnaya because she planned to move back here with you when you grew a bit older. She lived with you in Snezhnaya for reasons I will not delve into, but I.. I loved your mother. After I found out what happened to her..” He sighs, and that sigh alone holds a lot of weight. I can see the heartache in his eyes as he downs some water. “Let’s just say I took matters into my own hands, and it evolved from there. Unfortunately, I can’t do my work in Snezhnaya since your mother has passed and I’d probably be hunted and killed by Fatui so… I do it here. The place your mother wanted to live and grow old with a family.” My breath hitches, and I wince when he mentions the Fatui.

Does he know what happened to me? I glance at his face, and it’s back to being as impassive as ever. My eyes catch sight of his hands as he drinks more water, and the ring on his finger shines due to the light of the fire.

That ring.. wait, my mother also wore a ring on her finger…

I study the ring on his finger, and suddenly memorizes that I’ve buried from years ago.

No wonder this fire feels nostalgic. Mom brought me to visit Inazuma a few times, and the times I did visit she always had rendezvous with dad. One of the times we had a temporary reunion, we sat by a fire together like this. The circumstances were different and the atmosphere was filled with laughter and cheer, it wasn’t so… solemn.

If only things didn’t turn out the way they did, then…

Mom would still be here, and I’d never have had to commit such atrocities under the Tsaritsa’s gaze.

I don’t notice I’m crying until my father huffs and reaches over to wipe my tears. “Kid, I won’t ask for forgiveness or stop doing things the way I’ve been doing them for years. All I ask is that if you’re ever in trouble, come to me. I will not let what happened to your mother happen to you. I will gladly die if it means protecting you, alright? Now finish eating. It’s getting late and I’m sure that short kid is worried about you.” I sniffle at my dad’s harsh yet kind words, and I do as instructed.

Although the atmosphere is solemn, we reminisce about mom and I tell him about the things she did and the people she helped before she died. We laugh together and bond over memories of mom. We begin to forge a bond that never had the opportunity to develop to its full potential.

Before we part ways, my dad gives me one last piece of advice as I give him a tearful hug. “I know it may be hard, but think about the person you want to become. Do what your heart tells you, but don’t ignore your head either. Although.. maybe it’ll be a good thing if you do, knowing how hot headed you can be.” I smack my dad’s back in a show of exasperation, and he laughs.

He releases me from our hug, ruffles my hair, and is out of sight before I can finish lifting my arm to wave farewell.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Heizou is visibly upset I let my dad escape, since his actions aren’t… entirely legal, but he lets it slide for my sake.

Although now I have to help him solve another case sometime in the future.

I agree to his terms, and it isn’t long before I’m moving on to the next nation with a bit more guidance and feelings of turmoil in my heart.

That is, until I see him.

A glimpse. The soft jingles as his hat sways with the breeze.

He’s going into a.. factory? My throat constricts and my heart pounds loudly in my ears, yet a broad smile makes its way on to my lips.

It’s him! Scaramouche!! In Inazuma!

I’m determined to call out to him, but I stop myself when I see Signora following him close behind.

My cheeks burn and I immediately close my mouth. Damn, I’d sneak around, but that isn’t in my best interest.

So, with a sorrowful sigh, I leave my heart behind and follow my head to my next destination.

…

Which is where my heart is, and my heart is currently in an abandoned factory in Inazuma.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Stealth isn’t my virtue, but I can make it work when the situation is truly dire.

I sneak into the factory and overhear an interesting conversation between Scaramouche and Signora.

As he talks to her, dismissive as usual, I study his body language and facial expressions. Huh, he’s the same old Scaramouche.

Except he seems a bit more…

I pout as I watch from afar. Signora finally leaves, and my heart aches for the person standing alone in an abandoned building.

I restrain myself from revealing myself to greet him since I can’t take the risk of another Fatui member spotting us. I sneak back out of the facility.

Lost in thought, I’m not paying enough attention and I accidentally hit my foot against something. Not only does it create a sound that reverberates throughout the factory, but oh my archons it hurts my foot!

“Who’s there?” Scaramouche is quick to change his stance as he readies for a potential fight against an intruder.

Quick, Run!

I’m out of the factory like lightning and manage to hide outside the factory before he can spot me. He looks annoyed from afar as a lower ranked Fatui member approaches him and asks for something. I hope he thinks it was them.

I can finally breathe easy, and I silently watch on as the man who shouldn’t have a heart unknowingly holds one in his blood stained hands.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

I lurk around Inazuma a bit more and lo and behold, the traveler makes an appearance. I can only imagine what will become of Inazuma with the traveler here, so I choose this opportunity to take my leave before things can escalate.

I bid farewell to my newfound Inazuman friends, and I convinced captain Beidou to give me a ride back to Liyue.

As the ship leaves the dock, my father’s lone figure makes a brief appearance. I smile and wave, and this time, he waves back.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

“Oh my goossshhhh.” I whine. It’s taking me forever to find a totally not illegal way into Sumeru. Judging by the traveler’s pattern, this is sure to be their next destination, albeit not for a while.

May as well explore this place again before the traveler’s influence reaches it.

I have made a singular trip here before with the doctor and Scaramouche before I left the harbingers, and I felt beyond uncomfortable around the doctor. I felt bad, but I did not protest when the doctor said he has business to tend to with the balladeer. So, I let them be and briefly explored the vast rainforests of Sumeru. I didn’t get to do too much exploring, but this time is different.

“Yes!! Finally!” I grin and shout with joy when I’m finally in Sumeru. Which unfortunately catches someone’s attention, and I scramble to hide.

A… fox person? Bunny? No, probably a fox due to their tail.

A fox person enters my line of sight as they scour the area. “People shouldn’t be here. How did this dolt manage to make it through?” They say aloud to themself. They sniff the air and start heading in my direction, so I book it.

“Hey! Wait up!” The voice calls for me. I don’t look back until I’m sweaty and panting as I catch my breath near a statue of the seven above my head. I look up at the statue and groan in dismay.

This is going to be a long journey.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

“Hmm. I see. Thank you for your information.” I thank the scholar. They wave me off, and I leave the area. The more I learn about this nation’s archon, the more heartbroken I feel. How can a nation treat their Archon so cruelly? Just calling her “Lesser Lord” is honestly disrespectful in and of itself.

What I’ve heard from the Tsaritsa about the Greater & Lesser Lord seems to add up from what the residents of Sumeru have told me. For once, I actually anticipate the traveler’s arrival. Hopefully they can fix this mess.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

I make my own acquaintances as I explore all Sumeru has to offer. I’ve grown quite fond of this nation, almost as much as Mondstadt.

Although, nothing will ever surpass Mondstadt.

I often find myself perusing the books in the Akademiya, and that’s how I’ve wormed my way into a particular scholar’s life.

“Alllhaaiiithhhaammmm!” I call. His sigh conveys such unconfined dismay that I burst into a fit of giggles. “Here to annoy me again?” “Yes, and this time I want a bigger book!” “…You got it.” Alhaitham immediately hands me a book, and I’m surprised he already had one picked out.

He eyes my surprised expression and he shakes his head at me like a parent scolding their child. “You should know you always stick to the same routine, it’s hard not to anticipate your actions. I’ve picked out a book for you to save myself time. You can read it here with me, or not. Just don’t disturb me while I read.” With a satisfied hum, I take a seat across from Alhaitham and crack open the book.

My eyes alight at the sound of the hardcover book being opened, and I resist the urge to nerd out about the antique book smell that wafts up to my nostrils.

The first time I came to the Akademiya, I asked multiple scholar’s for book recommendations, but none of them knew any books that described what I was looking for. Eventually one of them referred me to Alhaitham. Alhaitham was quick to help me locate the book I was actually searching for. Of course after that experience I made it a habit to visit the Akademiya everyday.

This is Alhaitham and books we’re talking about. I love books, and the books I’m reading contain knowledge that is not easily accessible. Surprisingly, Alhaitham still lends them to me. Maybe he’s inferred more about me than he lets on? Otherwise it wouldn’t make sense why he would risk his integrity as a scribe to lend me these books.

Speaking of books.

I happily hum as I flip the first page of the book, and the first few sentences have me hooked. This book is about the origins of Sumeru, Irminsul, and the Akasha. Except this book contains more information than what’s available to the public.  I already have “forbidden” knowledge because of the Tsaritsa, but it’s always good to read up on topics yourself to make your own judgements and interpretations.

As I flip through the book I feel Alhaitham’s gaze on me, but I don’t say anything about it as I continue to flip through the book.

Eventually he awkwardly coughs to get my attention, and that’s when I finally look at him. We’re not super close since we’re across the table from one another but my cheeks still flush when our eyes meet. He’s very handsome.

“Y/n, what knowledge are you hoping to obtain from reading all these books?” Alhaitham’s question catches me a bit off guard, and I take a few moments to contemplate my answer.

“More knowledge about this world.” Is my simple response. Alhaitham puts his book down, and I’m so shocked by the action his next words don’t immediately register with me. “Well to me it seems that the knowledge you seek will not be found within these books.”

After I get over the fact he genuinely put his book down to have this conversation with me, I stare at his intense irises. His eyebrows are drawn together and he looks oddly serious. “What do you mean by that? I just told you the knowledge I seek is about this world.” Alhaitham acknowledges my words with a nod of his head, yet that expression remains.

“Yes, that is what you told me. However, your eyes tell me there’s more to it than that.” Said eyes widen as Alhaitham reads me like the book he just set down. He continues to speak when I remain silent. “It seems the true knowledge you seek lies within yourself, and you already have all the answers you need. Take some time to yourself to think about what it is you truly want. Scouring these books on knowledge you’ve already attained will not help you achieve your goals.” He intensely watches my facial expression, and although I’m still shocked I’m honestly a bit touched that he cares so much to tell me this.

Alhaitham not only took the time to listen to my request when I approached the Akademiya’s Scribe in search of rare books, but he also trusted me enough to lend me these books, albeit very reluctantly at first.

I wonder how he can read me so well, and since he obviously knows more than he lets on, why did he lend me these books to begin with?

“Hey, Alhaitham?” He hums in acknowledgment and his hand prompts me to continue speaking. “Why did you lend me these books?” This time Alhaitham’s the one who looks taken aback.

His lips subtly form a small smirk before his expression quickly shifts back to one of neutrality, but I caught his shift in expression nonetheless. “Well, it’s not often you see a person with two visions. It’s not hard to infer one is a masterless vision while the other is your own. The real question lies in how did you acquire your visions, and which one is yours? My hypothesis is that you acquired the Anemo vision of your own accord, and the cryo vision is the one you obtained from someone else. I won’t pry for the details but surely there’s more to your story than meets the eye.” Once Alhaitham finishes his explanation he proceeds to pick up his book again and continue reading like his inferences weren’t spot on and scarily accurate.

I close my book shut and sit back in my seat. I close my eyes as I reflect on Alhaitham’s words. “It seems the true knowledge you seek lies within yourself, and you already have all the answers you need. Take some time to yourself to think about what it is you truly want. Scouring these books on knowledge you’ve already attained will not help you achieve your goals.”

I know he’s right, so instead of indulging in the knowledge that rests in the book before me I’ll take this time to really figure out what it is I want.

I have an inkling of a feeling I’ve had my answer from the very beginning.

So, why is it that I’m just realizing this now?

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

I wait for the Traveler to arrive in Sumeru. It seems trouble follows wherever the traveler roams, and something’s telling me it won’t be long before they arrive.

I sigh as I stand up and stretch, taking in the beautiful rays of sunshine. I’ve taken time for myself, and I finally found the answer to Alhaitham’s question.

Unfortunately, it’s hard to pursue what it is I want when an important person who’s a part of that plan is.. well, …I have no clue where they are. I’m hoping I’ll encounter him somewhere in Sumeru, but the odds are low. Maybe I should return to Snezhnaya and sneak my way around Fatui camps?

No, that’s a recipe for disaster. I groan and mess up my hair as I run my fingers through it.

Why are you always on my mind? Why am I driving myself crazy over you? I haven’t seen you in ages, and honestly I don’t know if you even feel the same.. or if..

My thoughts drift away as I catch sight of a tall figure in the distance. I gap at the sight of Dottore walking through the streets of Sumeru, near the Akademiya.

No, that can’t be right. Why would he be here right now?

I quickly hide myself and slowly sneak closer to the man; I want to make sure I’m not hallucinating and it’s really who I think it is. I’d rather hallucinate about any other man over Dottore, but a hallucination is preferable to the real… well.. things.

Once I’m closer and his blue lock of hair is only a few feet in front of me, I know with the pounding of my heart that the man before me is for sure Dottore, if not, one of his clones.

Then that could mean…

I survey the area with a newfound seed of hope. It’s a bit of a longshot, but thinking back to what he told me before..

I cover my mouth before an elated giggle can slip out, and I slowly move away from Dottore.

I remember the promise we made. Does he really expect to find me here, and for me to help him achieve godhood? I wonder if he even remembers the promise we made with each other that day…

With a solemn sigh I continue my trek to the Akademiya, being extra cautious to stay out of Dottore’s line of vision.

Well, until we meet again, I shall find solace in books and the hot men of Teyvat.

…Ignore that last bit.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

When I spot the traveler this time around I decide to tail them and watch over their journey in Sumeru from afar.

I’m not stalking them, but I need to follow them since I’m bound to learn valuable information on new developments in Sumeru if I remain nearby.

It’s not like I haven’t followed them briefly in various nations to obtain crucial information on recent developments. I was able to witness some of the events the traveler underwent, while others I’ve heard of through gossip among the locals.

As I follow the traveler I learn more about them, and I’m a bit impressed. Not enough to want to befriend them, but they’re definitely someone the Tsaritsa would want me to keep an eye on-

Ugh.

I shake my head to rid myself of the deplorable thought.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

I wish I brought snacks, since this is getting good.

I eagerly follow the Traveler as they discover what the Sumeru scholars have done to the poor dendro Archon. I only follow them a few miles into the desert before I return to Sumeru since it’s too hot for me to handle.

I’ll bring myself up to speed when they return.

Once gossip of the Traveler’s return reaches my ears I’m quick to track down the Traveler, just in time to follow them into a domain.

Okay, this was not the plan.

I didn’t mean to follow them into an enclosed space since it raises my likelihood of getting caught, but I’m here now so..

I maintain an adequate distance from the traveler and stifle my laughter as they struggle to solve some of the puzzles within the domain.

My heart sinks as we continue to explore the domain, and Paimon’s booming voice from afar does nothing to soothe the rapid pace of my heart when I come to a realization.

I know where we are and what lies in this domain.

I glance around me at the scenery. Yup, I’ve been here before with Dottore and Scaramouche. I recall the time I insisted on tagging along with Scaramouche, before I left this domain to explore Sumeru on my own. What I witnessed here made me uncomfortable, so I welcomed the escape I was offered when Dottore told me he had plans needed to pursue in private with Scaramouche.

I fidget as a feeling of dread overwhelms my senses. This place never gave me good vibes. What if I have to witness that again and- wait.

Is this the place I’ll be able to see him again?

My questions are soon answered, and I’m glad I remain hidden through it all.

My heart breaks and a tear slides down my cheek at what Scaramouche has chosen to become.

I sigh and watch from far away as Traveler fights the “god” before me. I hope I can still help him once this is all over, although.. not in the way he probably meant.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

I have a hard time finding Scaramouche after his “fall from godhood.” I wanted to run and catch him as he fell, but then I would give myself away.

So instead I grit my teeth and watch as the traveler didn’t even attempt to help him, which is understandable (he was being a bit of an ass), but still…

So it’s quite a shock when I stumble upon a short male clad in blue while I’m restocking my food supply. I almost don’t interact with the man since the man before me could easily be a manifestation of my yearning for Scaramouche, but when our eyes lock I know for certain that Scaramouche is the man standing before me.

My palms sweat and I pray my voice doesn’t crack.

“Hello there traveler! Would you like to-“ I don’t let him finish and ignore his oddly polite tone. I jump on him and embrace him tightly.

“Scaramouche!! I’ve missed you so much. You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to see you again. So, what’s with the new look?” I almost reveal how I saw him back in Inazuma at the factory, but I keep my mouth shut since we’re in a moderately busy and public area. I know he’ll probably shove me off of him, annoyed that I’m hugging him, but I can’t help but give in to my desire to hug him after being apart for so long.

The man standing near the beautiful array of fruit for purchase chuckles. “Is this someone you know little guy?” The man turns towards Scaramouche and I, and I wait for Scaramouche to answer.

Except, his eyes meet mine and there’s no hint of recognition in them. I feel my blood run cold when he gives me a polite smile before he slowly peels me off of him. “I’m not sure who you’re referring to when you call me Scaramouche, but I’m sure it was an honest mistake on your end. I can help you find him. What does he look like? Where did you last see him?” I feel sweat gather upon my brow when he stands before me and denies having any sort of recollection of me.

Wait, the traveler. And everything that happened. Could it be that he has amnesia? Or does this have something to do with…

To test my tentative theory, I ask him a question he has to know the answer to if he truly is Scaramouche. “Do you remember what the weather was like the day we last saw each other?” The only response I get is an awkward cough from the man beside Scara as Scara awkwardly laughs away my inquiry. “Again, I’m not entirely sure what  you’re referring to. If it’ll help-“

I break off into a sprint as I run away from the man who can no longer recall my face. My eyes water and I angrily rub the droplets off my eyelashes before they can fall. I refuse to cry before I figure out what exactly is going on, and if this is a result of what I think it is then I may not be the only one whose memory was altered.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Sure enough, any memory of the man named Scaramouche has seemingly vanished. The only way I could really confirm this was by questioning the Fatui who were left behind. I disguised myself as best I could, making sure to hide my hair and face, before questioning them about the harbingers.

They were overly suspicious of me and immediately attacked me, as expected, so after a good beating they spilled the beans.

Thankfully Itto isn’t around.

To the lower ranked Fatui members, the Harbinger Scaramouche didn’t exist. I was tempted to bring up his name, but I didn’t want to cause any complications for myself or him in the future. So I released the Fatui members and immediately returned to the Akademiya to scour books.

Books on Irminsul, which I recall is the tree that holds all the information and memories of Teyvat. 

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Judging by the information from books, it is hypothetically possible to erase past events and memories from all people of Teyvat if Irminsul is tampered with.

If that’s the case, then I can still recall Scaramouche and Greater Lord Rukkdehvata…

I close my eyes and recall the many tidbits of knowledge the Tsaritsa has bestowed upon me, coupled with the knowledge of other harbingers and the books I’ve been scouring for the past couple of days.

Could it be that I’m…

I shake the thought away and return to the objective at hand. If the memories of Scaramouche were removed from Tevyat then it could potentially be restored under specific circumstances which are highly unlikely..

But this is Teyvat we’re talking about, and the traveler is involved. I recall the words a mysterious man once told me. “There are no coincidences in this world.” 

Alright, that settles it then.

With a start I spring from my seat, hearing a startled yelp from the blonde man sitting across from me. “Oh, I’m sorry!” I sheepishly apologize to the man. He shoots me an inquisitive look, but accepts my apology nonetheless. I try not to laugh at his annoyed expression when he spots someone walking in behind me. I don’t waste time in leaving, and I exchange brief hellos with Alhaitham on my way out.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Locating the traveler is a bit of a difficult task, but my previous experiences from my days with the Fatui come in handy. Unfortunately, I’m pretty good at recon and tracking people down. It’s even easier since the traveler is a well known individual.

When I finally spot the traveler from afar, they’re walking into a building, so I quickly follow them.

It’s a pain getting into the building without being spotted, so unfortunately I miss some information. When I notice the dendro Archon talking to the traveler, hope blossoms in my chest when Scara- … the man in blue is seen with them.

I sneak closer and have to close my eyes and strain to hear, and when I tune in I’m surprised by what I hear.

Scaramouche now refers to himself as Wanderer, and his “former” self, Scaramouche, attempted to erase his existence in hopes of changing past events in Inazuma.

Oh, Scaramouche..

I tune the others out for a moment as I mull over the information I gleamed. It’s hard to continue moving forward with your sins weighing upon your soul, and he must’ve truly felt that erasing his existence was the best outcome not only for others but for himself as well.

How heartbreaking.

I tune back into the conversation. The dendro Archon, Nahida, discusses how it’s possible for Wanderer to regain his memories. Once the Wanderer finally agrees to the plan they create, I silently leave the building. I could follow them and see his memories for myself, which is tempting, but I’d prefer to hear about his past from his own mouth. I’d rather not invade his privacy by seeing his past without his consent.

It’s funny, since in the past I probably wouldn’t hesitate to do so.

…

Aw well, it’s better this way.

I leave the premises and choose to aimlessly wander Sumeru as I wait for Scara to regain his memories.

I know I’ll eventually run into him again.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

I hug my knees to my chest as the breeze lifts my hair in the wind.

Scaramouche- no, Wanderer…

It’s been a few days since I saw that confused look in his eyes when I hugged him. I clutch the hem of my clothes as I curl in on myself further.

What if he still doesn’t remember me? What if he forgets his time as a harbinger?

I know the weight on his shoulders would be lessened if he did forget, but a selfish part of me hopes he remembers, solely so he won’t forget the time we spent together.

Wanderer, I hope you remember me.

My thoughts begin to spiral, and a familiar tightness constricts my throat.

I hate to feel like this in a place where anyone can see me, but my body freezes and I’m afraid I’ll trip over myself like a fool if I try to get up and leave.

My breaths come out faster and I squeeze my eyes shut in hopes of blocking out the dizzying lights.

Deep breaths.

The moment I take a deep breath, I feel someone’s presence nearby. I hope they keep walking and don’t ask questions since I need to focus on calming myself down.

I sense the person lower themselves to sit beside me, and they place a comforting hand on my back. The sensation of their hand running up and down my back helps calm me down, and soon my breaths even and my heart rate slows its rapid march.

“You imbecile.”

My body freezes yet again, but for a different reason this time.

My head shoots up from my knees and I swivel my head so fast I’m surprised I don’t get whiplash.

Next to me sits none other than Scaramouche, or well, Wanderer, and a frown is on his lips.

“How long has this been happening?” He asks. He stares me down, and I feel my heart beat a steady rhythm. His presence alone calms my racing heart. “Sca- Wanderer… I… Do you remember me?” I hate the way my voice cracks, and his face shows mild surprise.

“Of course I do. You still owe me you know. Come with me, I don’t have time to waste.” He stands, but he leans down to offer me his hand.

“Get up. The ground is no place for you to stay, you need to stand up.” His words offer me a strange sense of comfort, and I hesitantly take his hand.

“So, it seems you know more than I thought. You called me Wanderer instead of Scaramouche… tell me what you know.” With that, he begins walking. He slows when he sees I’m not following, and he turns around. “Are you coming?” “Do you want me to?” “Why wouldn’t I-“ “You forgot about me.” My emotional statement causes him to wince.

He lowers his hat to obscure his face as he looks down to the ground for a moment. When he looks up again, it’s into my eyes. “I’m sorry. I was being foolish at that time. I’m not one for promises, but I’ll promise you this; I’d never forget a human like you.” His words steal my breath away, and when I run into his arms this time his eyes shine with recognition.

“I missed you.” I whisper against his clothes. I hear the sharp intake of breath he takes at my words. He doesn’t return my hug, but I enjoy the comfort of his body against mine regardless.

I jump slightly when I feel a pair of arms wrap around me moments later. “You’re so…” His whisper is carried away in the wind, and I chuckle at his obvious loss for words.

I’m glad he can’t see my silly, lopsided smile.

I start giggling, full of glee. “What’s so funny?” He asks. I shiver when one of his hands brush across my lower back.

I rest my head against his shoulder, and I’m surprised by the unusual temperature of his body.

“Your body… is warm.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Oh, wow… I correctly deduced some parts of your story but others.. not so much. I still can’t believe the doctor did such a horrible thing. Well I do believe it but for a person to commit such a heinous act is so… wow, Dottore.” I clench my teeth as I utter that disgusting name. I hate that man with a burning passion, and hearing Wanderer’s story reminds me of a sweet girl I encountered in a village when I first entered Sumeru.

She helped me find my way to the Akademiya, but before I could leave she collapsed where she stood. She said it was normal for her and she was just exhausted, but I had a feeling there was more to the story so I stuck around and cared for her in the best way I could.

Turns out the fox person I originally ran from is named Tighnari, and he returned to the village to care for the collapsed girl named Collei. That’s how I learned of the cause of her exhaustion.

Since I have more information than the forest ranger, I quickly pieced everything together. I knew what really occurred with this sweet girl, and it pained me to know the doctor could inflict so much suffering on a child like her.

I’ve never despised a man so much. I’d go so far as to say hate, but no one, let alone him, deserves me putting that much energy into their irrelevant existence.

I sigh as my mind returns to the present. Dottore. This man has done so many horrible things to people and puppets alike. “I can’t stand that man. I’m sorry you’ve experienced so many traumatic events, but thankfully now you can take your life and your future into your own hands and grow as a person because of it. This doesn’t erase the wrongs you have committed, but that doesn’t mean you can’t grow and become someone better. I’m proud of you for how far you’ve come.” I flash him a smile, and his eyes widen as his mouth forms the cute shape of an ‘o.’

“Speaking of past events, I went on a journey of my own and I figured out what it is I’m truly searching for. Ever since I left you that day I didn’t know what direction I wanted to take for myself. I did some wandering- haha, pun intended, and a scribe of all people helped me come to a conclusion. Although, my father also played a major role in my journey. Anyway, I discovered that I…” My words trail off and I watch in awe when Wanderer averts his gaze.

He turned too late though.

“Wanderer, did I just see..?” “Shut up, moron. Continue. What did you discover?” Wanderer indiscreetly runs his hand across his eyes.

I decide to let him have his privacy and not pester him on the unshed tears I saw on his lashes.

I move a bit closer to him and offer a silent hand of comfort over his. I’m thankful he doesn’t move my hand away.

“Well, I discovered that what I really want is to find the truth of this world. But I also..” I tentatively glance in his direction, and I’m surprised by his focused gaze on me. He’s never been one to care for other’s affairs, yet he seems so invested in what I’m saying. The thought brings a silly smile to my face that I hope he dismisses.

“I also want to create genuine bonds with others and grow to be the best version of me that I can be.. and there’s a certain someone I’d like to have by my side..”  I fully turn towards Wanderer and squeeze his hand as I tell him, “I want to do this with you. I want to experience many days to come with you by my side, or well, me by your side as you probably prefer I phrase it. I.. I..” I nervously chuckle when his expression remains unreadable, but I won’t back down now!

“When I’m with you, my heart races and my palms get sweaty-“ “Trust me, I noticed.” He interrupts me dryly. I glare at him and he only smirks in silent reply. He nods to prompt me to continue, so I do.

“I.. You.. You may not feel the same way I do about you but-“ “Just get on with it and stop beating around the bush-“ “I love you, okay!? Gosh let me finish speaking before you interrupt me. Anyway-“ I freeze when I realize he provoked the answer out of me, and my face burns in embarrassment. I attempt to remove my hand from on top of his and make a break for it, but he predicts my movements.

His hand laces itself together with mine and he pulls me in so I fall against him. “Wanderer!” I shout in embarrassment. I close my eyes and hope his rejection isn’t too harsh.

Oh, who am I kidding. This is the former Sixth Fatui Harbinger we’re talking about.

I brace myself for rejection, and the silence is awfully loud. The thing that breaks the silence catches me off guard, and I can’t help but smile when his laughter cuts through the tense atmosphere.

His laughter is much cuter and lighthearted than I thought it would sound, and it soon ropes me in. We’re a bunch of giggling idiots sitting side by side on a bench, and passersby give us a mixture of sweet and curious glances.

Once our laughter slows to a stop, I wait with baited breath for his next words. “Oh, you fool. You’ve always been very perceptive, but never with the things that are most obvious.” Hey! He chooses to reject me with a roundabout insult!?

I quickly turn my head to scold him, but the words get caught in my throat as he chooses that moment to close the distance between us.

I’m surprised by how soft his lips feel gently pressed against mine.

It takes me a moment to process what’s happening, and once I do my already vibrant world bursts in an explosive array of bright colors as I realize the implications behind his actions. Before I can return the kiss he pulls away, and he smirks at my expression. “You dolt. Didn’t you just tell me you love me? Why didn’t you return my kiss?” Wanderer ‘tsks’ and begins to move away from me with that annoying smirk still on his lips. So, I do the only plausible thing that comes to mind.

I kiss that stupid smirk off his face.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

P.S

When he kisses me back, it feels as if my heart is glowing.

I really am a lucky girl.

[wack-ashimself]

Liking the first season of 'Torchwood' BUT...

See, I knew of the show 10 years ago. Watched some of it. Hated it. Forgot about it. But was watching like top 10 most shocking tv deaths (or something like that) and they had season 4 (did NOT know they had that many) of 'Torchwood' on there, saying how the latter two seasons were SOLID AF compared to the first 2 seasons.

And I am getting into it. On the 1st season finale. But I gotta say this show has so many plot holes (record setting for just 1 fucking season), and characters who make the wrong call EVERY TIME, you wonder...who am I supposed to cheer for? Cuz, by the numbers, Torchwood has hurt far more than it helped so far.

The lead-she cheated on her boyfriend (with EASE. It felt weird how easy it was for her being in a committed relationship), drugged him, erased his memory, lied to him, and then (Spoilers) got him killed. Also thru negligence, released an alien that killed a BUNCH of dudes.

The butler-he literally chanced cyber men taking over the world, and got an innocent genius doctor killed, cuz he was too much of a COWARD to let his clearly dying gf go.

Tech lady-She reads everyone's deepest darkest thoughts, then got mad when Jack sent an alien who had been murdering for centuries into the sun. She's not bad, per say, more...neutral. She's harmed the least, for sure. That's such a low bar, tho...

Captain Jack-The original reason I watched the show. I LOVED his character on Dr Who. But...this is not him. Not the same guy. Not the free spirited, happy, goofy, witty, always ready, near-god. No. This is an immortal having a mid mid mid life crisis cuz he's lived so long and WANTS to die. Seriously, cuz of his shit, and the lead's, this is like a partial drama. I will say, tho, he has had to make some TOUGH calls which did not make him well liked, but I respected him cuz you knew, deep down, it had to be done, and no one else was gonna do it*.

The doctor-In the finale I am on, he was fired. And I hope his character dies. I fucking hate him. I hate his face, his voice, his actions, his brain; everything. He convinces the noobie to cheat with him, after he basically mouth rapes her. He's angry ALL the time, yells at people thinking he's a genius when he's like the 3rd smartest. He 'falls in love' with a women, tries to demand her to stay, and gets all pity party after ONE WEEK WITH HER. Can you fall madly in love in a week? Sure. But suicidal and a threat to others cuz 'you're sad'? Go fuck yourself, you bitch. Oh, and he basically openly chooses to chance ending the world NOT because he wants to save his team mates (tho he claims that) but because he's tired of being a bitch to the time tear (or whatever the fuck they call it).

So...WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU CHEERING FOR? Jack is the only semi cool character, and he's still kinda an ass. They're ALL kinda...selfish, short sighted, fuckers.

But I will finish this series. Because, storywise, the themes and plots they got going, are HIGHLY original and almost always have 1-3 good twists I don't see coming. You don't understand: I have been exposed to so much media, I can predict most things I see within a short period of time (even whole movies from trailers). I'm SO good (or writing is THAT predictable) I actually can, based on context, guess, WORD FOR WORD some lines. Sometimes in real time. Not usually. But not too far off, either.

*I will say, the call the writers/show/characters are supposed to hate was Jack giving the child to the faeries. NO. GREAT call. Best call you could make. Every other call would have sucked. See-the girl was fucking evil. Sociopath. Straight up. Like the faeries. She hated everyone. Talked to no one, but the faeries. She was borderline evil. And the faeries straight up said if you don't give us the kid, we will kill en mass, starting with HER ENTIRE SCHOOL. And the girl WANTED to go. So...where's the problem giving up the kid? Her mom's sad? Who gives a shit. You just saved TONS of lives, an evil fucking kid is gone, and the fairies disappeared. Only one who really lose was the mom. Her long time boyfriend (he was an ass) and her kid: BOTH GONE, SAME DAY. That is cruel, but long run, genuinely, it's even best for her. Her boyfriend was abusing her kid behind her back, and her kid was cheering on the torture of kids. It's a win-win-win. Fuck you for trying to make me feel bad for him giving up the kid. She wanted to go, and I wanted her to go. Fuck her.

[lumilasi]

Finished the next set. Unfortunately it turns out, even for this one I had only 2 ladies...one of which isn't mine, again, lmao

Aimi (the last one on the right) belongs to @mad-hatter-rici

Anyway, short intro of each character below:

Harrow Araknos: The father of the beloved Goth Dad Jurou, a shadow elemental Soul Eater. He is bit of a rebellious and troublemaking figure, who has been, and has escaped prison. Despite all this he loves his family dearly (he ended up in jail because of his desire to protect his son) and while they argue and bicker a lot, Jurou does care about his father - even if he'sa frustrating reckless fool sometimes.

Shura: Jurou's childhood friend, a special type of light spirit native to the mirror world called Vigour Spirit. Shura is the opposite of his gothic bestie, being a very happy-go-lucky goofball, who knows how to not take himself too seriously. He is not one to be underestimated however, one of the very few people in the world who could actually defeat Jurou in battle.

Lawrence Faydream: A Dream-eater/bogyeman spirit and an influental member of the "Overshadowers Council" that handles the matters of dark beings - soul eaters, dream eaters, werewolves, etc - in the Mirror world. He is also the head of a special group/organization known as Shadowless, whose job is to protect the mirror world's secrets and prevent humans from essentially destroying themselves with powerful Mirror world artifacts they do not understand properly. Bit of a devious figure with plenty of shades of grey to his character. Father of Jurou's employee, Avane.

Angus Belmont: A Blood sage warlock who works as a doctor, being the family doctor for the protagonist family. Has some ancient dragonic heritage, hence his natural shapeshifting ability his powers give, gave him permanent dual eyes. A single father who is often powered by black coffee and pure spite towards needing to sleep. He's generally seen as scary but reliable doctor. He also has a secondary job as one of the Shadowless Kenzo commands.

Yui Blackthorne: Harrow's wife and Jurou's mother, she is a spider-woman from japan, who is a famous Jazz singer across the Mirror world. She spends most of her time nowadays spending time with her grandkids, sending them gifts and so on. Yui does still record, but doesn't do that many public concerts anymore.

Clover Belmont (Oliver Blanc): Angus' adoptive son and the best friend/honorary big brother figure of Ichirou Araknos, the nephew/adopted son of Jurou. Clover has a difficult, traumatic past hence he's changed his name from his original one. He is a witchboy with very unique power-mix that while powerful, unfortunately causes him lot of health issues like digestive problems and disfigured sickly thin waist.

Aimi: The right hand woman of Lawrence, a Grand Fairy who didn't want to become a guardian spirit for a child like her kind usually do. She does spywork/intelligence gathering/threat elimination for her boss - or just brings his daughter her lunch she forgot. Aimi is bit of an oddball in nature, but she is not to be underestimated despite her apparent silly goofy nature.

[buds-and-baubles]

I feel evil for saying this, but I would have loved for M react to Apollo’s death in DC vs Vampires. (I’m sorry Apollo, I want you to live and have a happy family.) I don’t think he even mentioned having a husband or why they were separated from each other.

It also would have been sweet to see M meet baby Jenny again (please, DC, I’m begging you, reunite this family.)

i agree with this hardcore! yeah he didn't mention a previous team or husband or why they were separated from each other.

and you read my mind for the last part tbh.. plus imagining jack and midnighter having to work together on something would be entertaining.

i read the whole series including the two new issues to answer this and.. honestly i'm not sure it's worth writing? it's an extremely messy set universe with tons of plot holes and the longer it's going the worse it gets imo.

how i would've written one focused on the authority is this:

issues with time and space due to the utter upset the vampires caused allowed one universe of the original authority team and the rest of wildstorm be in the utter shithole of transfers, but early on in the authority's timeline.

the carrier knew this all going down was bad and can't go to help. even if she could, revealing herself could mean interdimensional vampires and the sentient shift ship wouldn't allow that.

jenny sparks does her best to lead with limited time outside her era since all the shit means she's displaced (seriously dc writers she's the spirit of the 20th century), but knows the longer they're stuck there, the more she is like a ticking explosion.

they can still communicate via radio telepathy thanks to angie but have jeroen safeguard it with magic just in case. angie works in secret to make a cure. not just for that but so no vampire can bite her. she'd be a dangerous one and she'd sooner remove her liquid machinery blood before that would happen. she's also making sure any of their technological movements are hidden.

jack's bouncing from city to city determining which ones got a good chance of humans that can turn the tides. he's got an advantage with his weird anatomy that's unlike anything on that earth and he uses the hell out of it.

the rest are leading rescue efforts of humans. until the tides of the fight get worse. and get worse it does.

when it reached close to midnight, jenny sparks realized her time was up and she shouted for the doctor to send her somewhere she could take out the most vampires. before she left she told them all to be good, and somewhere, in singapore, there was a child they needed to find. then she took out so many vampires none can really say. it was a shock to the vampire king that there was suddenly a being strong enough to do that he had no idea of.

priorities changed then. shen in communication with angie takes to the skies to keep rescuing people and try to figure out how to reverse a cure.

jeroen splits his time between helping them and begrudgingly with the magic users not yet turned like constantine (who he admits to not liking) on how to turn the tide. this is their first official reveal to the dc characters in this.

jack is trying to make his way to signapore on his own as he still is gathering information on the cities, vampire movements, and how the humans are doing all at the same time. jokingly calls himself the world's living greatest detective once because i think i'm funny.

and apollo and midnighter? they fly for a bit but then take on foot again in a race to get to signapore to find the spirit of the 21st century, who is oddly being born way later than she should.

on the journey is when they get news that shen had been turned. somehow, by jenny sparks who wasn't so dead as they thought. she managed to fight against the control, and angie is trying to use shen's blood to cure all the vampires.

they send a message one day across the radio telepathy that they have to move and be radio silent because jenny sparks can still hear on the main channel and that others can too. this is their final group contact.

jeroen focuses his efforts on the magic side. angie and shen are trying to juggle running and finding a cure. jack is juggling all his shit.

apollo and midnighter feel back like where they started.. on the run against the world but this time it really isn't just them. when they reach asia, that's when the sun is hidden by the vampires.

midnighter doesn't beg apollo to go because he doesn't want to, but knows he'll die. as far as they know based on information sweeps, he is the third sun powered super left on earth that isn't turned or truly dead. apollo kisses him goodbye and flies up into the sky to curl up outside of earth's orbit around the vampire technology that blocked out the sun to soak in its rays, alone.

midnighter continues on without apollo, who he'd discussed with on the beginning of this journey the idea of being husbands and well, fuck it, they can just call themselves that since there's nobody alive to officiate. he reaches singapore alone.

jack joins him on the journey who knows how far along while he's scouring the streets and fucking up vampires as he goes, with further news about jenny sparks. he had seen jenny recently, and she claimed that she had outright killed engineer and drained swift on orders of the king since their traitorous ways outweighed their benefits. they're both skeptical about the truth of that but feel regardless.. that they needed revenge for what she did to them both.

there's arguing between eachother of how to proceed where they go from here if jack's source is correct. could they find jeroen and try fixing all of this for everybody? or is that pointless? jack focuses more on how they'll survive the current battle and knows that the only chance they got against jenny sparks is if the sun king shows. midnighter argues that they could handle it too even if his computer brain disagrees, purely because he knows that apollo showing means apollo dies.

the search reaches its final hour as jack has gotten information outside the city that leads him right back to signapore with where jenny sparks and jenny quantum might be.

they fight against a very different fairchild which leads to her death, and jenny sparks shows. jack was right and it's truly a fight both of them are outmatched for. jenny sparks on the regular was powerful like you couldn't believe but a vampire? yeah.

they had talked that jack would take the lead on the fight because... his physiology and the difference of telling between whether cities count with what's left of humanity or how many vampires there are is making him reach his own sort of final hour too. is he turning? can that even happen unbitten to him?

when jenny has jack close so she can rip out his throat in one hand and midnighter injured, that's when apollo shows and he brings the sun to her. it was his final stand and now apollo lay a dehydrated skeleton in his uniform now still with his white hair too otherworldly and good just like he was. their chest symbols are all midnighter has left tying them together.

he wishes now more than ever that the tales of other universes back when he asked jenny sparks when they first got stuck here were a lie.

maybe in another life, a single universe would let me keep you. was there nothing i could do?

jack stumbles over to the muffled sound of crying with the loss of apollo and probable losses of angie and shen between them. when he throws open the door, there she is. jenny quantum, the spirit of the 21st century.

midnighter gets up to see the baby, holding over the wound in his chest where he's missing one of his two hearts in more ways than simply physical. he scoops up jenny in his arms and stands beside jack. they both silently agree on the fact that they wish that apollo could have seen her. that angie and shen would've loved her just like he would've.

jack says he's going off on his own again since he doesn't know that even with this if he'll eventually turn because of the human to vampire ratio. he urges midnighter to find jeroen in hiding following the failed magic user gathering, to reset and undo this fucked up universe with the combined powers of the doctor and new jenny.

the ending follows a sequence of midnighter traveling with baby jenny and the various stops to feed her, let her sleep, and change her along the way. he passes by so many people and vampires on what feels like a march to the death. but if there's a chance that this can work and he can see his heart again? it's worth it for him and this baby. his baby. she would've been their baby, their daughter. maybe in other universes she is.

he reaches jeroen and they know they don't have much time. there was a vampire change in leadership and another who apparently who has aided the first overthrow and now wants a second is declaring a war. if they find out what they're doing, they're good as dead.

there's a burst of energy magical and not, of purple and blue, and then.. midnighter wakes up in bed. it was a bad dream for their whole reality possibly knowing how this shit does or doesn't work, maybe for whatever that fucked up earth was before it got fucked up too. he has time to process this and ask if the others saw it too in the morning. he falls back to sleep in apollo's embrace, those thoughts on his mind along with the thought that perhaps someday they should get married. it sounds right to him. like home.

somewhere, both a distant future and past, dick grayson wakes up in a cold sweat. that was.. a badly written nightmare if he's seen any.

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

(from my main but this is variousqueerthings): am really enjoying reading your analyses of amy -- I definitely felt more resonance with her on this last Big watch I did, when I could disconnect the way she would at times be underserved by the writing, from what was actually going on in her story, and it's fun going from there to reading deeper analysis that picks on those threads even further

I don't know if this refers to only my straight analyses I've posted on this blog, the rambling rants I've done in the tags of other people's posts, or my fics (someone once called a fic of mine an "eloquent rant" and sometimes I feel like that's a great way to describe the more "character-study"-esque of my fics), but either way thanks! I actually had my own reevaluation of Amy Pond as a character when I got back into Doctor Who this year thanks to various other blogs/others analyses (shout out to @saint-eleventh, @thefiresofpompeii, @spoofymcgee, @ameliapondmd, and plenty of others, including you, @variousqueerthings, with your rewatch series). The first time around, when I watching Doctor Who as a freshman in high school, I couldn't pick apart the Moffatisms from the foundation of a very compelling character full of fascinating contradictions and unabiding faith and a desperate loneliness that connects so well with Eleven's. (I also, full admission, hadn't gotten the shift between how companions were written in Davies' era v. Moffat's, with the companion's arc being as integral to the story during 9 and 10 v. during 11's- though I am also now realizing the mistakes that Davies made, especially with his handling of Martha and other black characters.) Now, though, I can ride with the fairytale vibes of Season Five, which has steadily risen through my season rankings, and can also appreciate the push-and-pull of Amy Pond.

I hate love triangles but looking at Rory and the Doctor now as embodying the themes of domesticity/growing up/stagnation v. travelling/danger/curiosity and the way that the narrative constantly tries to shove Amy into the former (literally making her a wife, a womb, a mother, a vessel, stripping away her agency at every turn) makes it all the clearer how Amy, whenever given the chance, turns to the TARDIS. She doesn't want Rory to die in Amy's Choice but chooses him by choosing the TARDIS and life with the Doctor. Her biggest act of agency in the show is demanding the Doctor show up at her wedding, literally yanking him into existence and demanding that he prove to the world that her faith in him was never mad, was always the most sane thing in the world. Even at the end of the God Complex, when she should hate him more than anything, she still believes in him (and frankly, he believes in her. Eleven and Amy are each other's gods as much as they are each other's best friends).

I think that Eleven and Amy are made for each other in the same way that Nine/Rose, Ten/Martha, and Twelve/Clara are made for each other, to believe in each other, to change each other, to make each other's stories full. I love Donna&Ten, Clara&Eleven, and Bill&Twelve as much as anyone else does (I seriously adore all of these dynamics), but you can't tell the Doctors' stories and arcs without the first set of pairings I mentioned. And realizing that about Amy and Eleven and the effect they had on each other (the fact that after eight hundred years without her, she is still the last face he sees before he regenerates, the fact that she can literally remember him from nonexistence) really made me realize the potential and impact of her run as a companion/their dynamic this go 'round. I think that's the great thing about a show that runs for this long and with so many doctor&companion pairings- you are constantly going to bump up against these relationships that transcend friendship and romance and go into world-shattering, character-arc-altering, often-verging-on-codependent dynamics that impact both sides for the rest of their lives.

[gmwsuperfan5467890]

911 In Another Life Theories

Based on the synopsis and behind the scenes footage, we know that Buck is in a coma and dreams of what would happen if he never became a firefighter or in other words if he managed to save Daniel.

I will go character by character and examine what could possibly happen to them in Buck’s Coma dream.

1) Buck

In one of the behind the scenes videos, Buck is seen wearing a white button up, green sweater and tan slacks (I think they are slacks?). I like to call this look “Shaggy goes to Prom” because the colour scheme is reminiscent of the character Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Shaggy is a very chill, laid back guy while Buck’s attire is supposed to formal, giving the vibe that he is trying to be someone who he is not.

I think that Buck will still be striving to gain the approval from his parents, which he will never get because his parents never wanted him, they only wanted someone to save Daniel. In the beginning of Buck’s dream, his parents will seem more present but at the end of the day, their favoritism is very obvious. Buck will also not be reckless because he doesn’t need to get hurt to get his parents attention. His career will be in something that is very practical, the job that parents typically approve of but Buck will absolutely have no passion in, such as accounting, marketing, business, economics or an office job. I could also see Buck having a difficult job that he would have to study many years for, such as a doctor or nurse. Buck has most likely never travelled around the US and still lives in Hershey.

2) Daniel

Daniel is a normal, chill guy with extremely doting parents. His parents worship the ground he walks on and have given him everything as a child, which you’d think would make him spoiled but he surprisingly isn’t (thanks to Maddie). His parents will go on about how Buck should be more like Daniel even if Buck had done something remarkable and Daniel hadn’t. Daniel either lives in LA and the Buckelys will visit Daniel or Daniel lives in Hershey and the Buckleys go to LA on vacation for some reason.

In this coma dream, Daniel will be Buck’s “Guardian Angel” and they will have a conversation at the end. Daniel will tell Buck that it’s okay that he couldn’t save him, it wouldn’t have worked with Buck’s bone marrow or anyone else’s, these things happen and it’s nobody’s fault. Daniel will tell him that he loves him even if he had only known him briefly and that he will always be in his heart. Finally Daniel will tell to wake up and be with his real family and then Buck wakes up.

3) Maddie

Unfortunately, I think Maddie will still be with Doug. Assuming that both Buck and Daniel still live in Hershey, then Maddie would have nowhere to run since Hershey is the first place Doug would look. Alternatively, Maddie could be the one living in LA because she ran away from Doug, so the Buckleys end up in LA visiting her. I also don’t think Maddie and Buck will be as close because she didn’t raise him and they didn’t only have each other. Daniel and Buck probably have an inkling that Doug is abusing/abused Maddie but they aren’t 100% certain.

Maddie is definitely very closed off, isolated and lonely because she has no one to confide in and she doesn’t feel close enough to any of her family members to confide in.

4) Chimney

Since he is not with Maddie, Chimney will probably still be dating Tatiana or somebody like Tatiana. Chimney is still hiding who he is from the people he dates because he thinks no one will accept him for who he is. He will be a lot like Chimney from the first 3 eps of season 1, insecure, unsure if himself, always wanting to be a hero but never gets taken seriously. Ultimately Chimney will be miserable due to his love life and low self-esteem which could possibly bleed into his work life.

5) Hen

I think Hen will have already left for medical school years ago because the 118 wouldn’t really be the 118. There is no Buck, no Eddie, Chimney is miserable, Bobby is miserable, everything feels off. This more likely motivates Hen to go to med school and become a doctor before the season 6 timeline, in this case I would also assume that the lab explosion never happened and Karen and Denny are alive and well. Hen still keeps in touch with Bobby and Chim and Athena.

6) Bobby

I think Buck kind of heals Bobby because he got to be a father figure to him. I do want to add that Chim and Hen also help heal him by being his friends and helping him when times are rough but without all three of them helping Bobby, it will take him much longer to heal or even reach to the point he was at the end of season 1. Additionally, his insecurities in parenting Athena’s children will be much more present. Ultimately, Bobby’s lack of healing will cause Bathena to break up even though both they still love each other. Alternatively Bathena could still be together but their relationship would be rocky.

7) Athena

Bobby and Athena break up or have a rocky relationship. Bathena’s relationship was very important to Athena’s healing journey and her finally finding the love she deserved, so she would not be as healed as she is in the present-day timeline and she could still harbour hurt and resentment for Michael because he was the one who got to move on when she couldn’t. I wish I could think of more but Buck and Athena don’t interact that often.

8) Eddie

Eddie joins the 118 briefly but ends up moving back to Texas because taking care of a 7-year old while working a demanding job is impossible and there is no Carla or Buck to help him out. Additionally, he never quite felt at home in LA, his coworkers at the 118 were nice but seemed to be wrapped up in their own problems and were distant. There was also something (or someone) missing. So Eddie is in Texas with his parents who constantly criticize him and their relationship is never fixed. Eddie is still repressed and not as healed as in the present day timeline. He is still a good father to Chris but parenting is so hard when you’re doing it alone (or rather when you make a parenting decision and your parents push back on you saying it’s wrong and you argue back and forth for days).

Christopher growing up in this argument is not good for his mental health. In addition, he also loses a great parental figure (Buck). I could also see Chris resenting Eddie for not letting him see Shannon.

I understand that some of these theories may be a stretch, but I think the writers will want to show that Buck has affected each character in a profound way because 1) The point of these types of episodes is to show that the character that is dreaming or in a coma is important and loved 2) All the characters in this show affect each other in a profound way because they are a family.

I will also tag this post as Buddie because I said that Buck was Eddie’s home and what could be more romantic than being someone’s safe space, the person that they can confide in, their coparent and an integral part of their family unit?

I will also tag this as Bathena and Madney because as stated, these relationships are essential to these characters’ journeys and have helped them heal exponentially.

[matchalilly]

This gaming series has always had a special place in my heart for more reasons than one.

In middle school and high-school it was my shit played more co op than campaign in college cause I had a solid group of friends I'd hop on with.

But as a military brat I got the biggest crush on Mactavish when I was a tween, irritated the hell out of my bf at the time to the point he'd start snarky arguments about how I gush over a scottsman when his Irish ass is right there granted we'd laugh about it cause I'd point out how stupid it was that he's getting bent over a video game character, his ma would even join in saying just wait maybe an actual Scottish boy will swipe me from him.

As much as he gave me shit over Soap certain parts of the game hit him hard too.

We mutually broke up before high school, still hung out and gamed together but he decided he was going to join the army after graduating and didn't want me stuck worrying constantly, even though I expressed my interest in joining the marines like my dad.

That started up a whole new 'dig at each other' playfully of course both of us came from military families him strictly army me a mix of marine, army, and navy.

Dad was against his only baby girl joining the military and I just said alright ill just do some form of art than, ended up taking international culinary courses and cosplay ended up unironacally making military friends regardless.

You'd be surprised how many service men and women I've met in the cosplay community not to mention lawyers and doctors, even dentists it's wild honestly but it's neat, and some of them would play with me on CoD just to keep in touch. We'd joke and shit on each other and shit on the occasional teams that would be toxic in the lobby after losing the match to a team mixed with chicks and guys and would scream hacks.

Long and short of it this game is a staple in many special memories for me. It isn't just a game I play for the fun of it, I've made friends, connections and sometimes we all hop on just to chat in the lobby not even going into game. We would just sit cracking jokes and go back and forth if we wanted to hop in a match and go naaaaaaaaaah not tonight, got work or nah I have morning classes or mmm gotta be at base early or I would, ect you get the idea life stuff.

Now I'm back in it watching my friend that's never played a shooter in her life enjoying co op and the campaign and its the best thing to see.

She's a Konig girl and gets shitty that he's not in it much and me and my other pal just laugh and tell her he wasn't in the old games much either, nothing new better get used to relying on the simping fandom for her Konig material.

She even went and started a fanfiction and asks me all kinds of questions, although she had the audacity to call Ghost mean and I'm just like girl how dare 😤

Seriously don't know why people think he's mean, clearly they haven't heard his glorious dad jokes dudes just a hardened soldier.

But she adores Soap too so we chat often about him or she'll gush about Konig or send me mass GhostSoap pictures and I'm just like wow you found that side of the Fandom took you long enough 😆

Even my military hubby joins us cause he grew up playing the games too. Imagine his suprise one year when he came home from a deployment catching his wife playing CoD not knowing I even had an interest in the game.

That was a fun conversation our first year married.

Sat and watched him start the new campaign last night and I was so frustrated that he purposely would get Price killed just to rile me up (even detonated himself at one point) before restarting the mission and say 'imma do it again' only for me to tell him to leave the old man alone and actually do the damn mission.

Sorry not sorry felt like reminiscing, tis the season of recalling fond memories.