#but regardless of choice there are those who tried just as hard as he did and didnt end up with the same result

[rocaillefox]

if you are writing fanfic about a story that has Themes and you say something in the exposition thats Directly Against These Themes, well. depending on what youre saying i may keep reading BUT the point is you are on some Thin Ice. (about if i will keep reading)

[babywriter]

It was hard enough to be taken seriously as a young woman in such a male-dominated field. You even had the added disadvantage of being particularly pretty. Younger men saw a potential date while older men, if not pervy, saw a girl which to them meant that you were ditzy and weak. 

This particular client was a man. Maybe five years older or so, you guessed. When he opened the door, he seemed surprised. And you thought he looked at you a little condescendingly. But were you going to show him. You walked inside with an authoritative air, your tools by your side. Cool, calm, collected. You started working on his cabinet right away.

Thing is, normally clients tend to leave the room when you work. You know, since they have things to do and it’s awkward to stand in the corner for an hour. Didn’t bother him clearly. You felt him staring at you. For such a long time too that it became a distraction. You figured he was looking at your butt. The man was attractive, you had to admit, but it felt so disrespectful. You became flustered. How to make him go away? There was another reason you didn’t enjoy people staring at your butt. You happened to wear diapers.

You’ve always like diapers and you had decided to go 24/7 a few years back. This was generally not a problem. Actually, it was great when you were working because you didn’t need to use the client’s bathroom. But when someone watches you like a hawk exactly where you don’t want them to look, it tends to stress you out. And of course, of course, your diaper was peaking out.

You heard a little laugh.

“Oh. Little lady.” the man said. Little lady, really? “What’s that you’re wearing underneath those overalls?”

Either he’s used to asking women what they wear, either he was doing it just for you. Regardless, you didn’t feel like answering him.

“None of your business, sir.” You answered. In spite of his awful behavior, you wanted to remain professional.

“If you’re wearing, what I think you’re wearing, you shouldn’t be dealing with all those tools!”

“Sir, if you don’t let me finish my work in peace, I will leave.”

“Oh. Are we throwing a tantrum?”

A tantrum? Who the hell is this guy?

“Alright, sir, that’s enough.” You tried to leave, but he was bigger and stronger and blocked the entryway. He held your wrists.

“Sir, let me go.”

“Oh no, little lady. Work’s not done.”

He forcefully removed your overalls. Your medical diaper was exposed. 

“Go on, keep working if you’re such an adult.” 

You obeyed, but did so red and humiliated. Nevertheless, he never left the room. Not once.

You figured that he would need to leave the room at some point. But what you hadn’t accounted for was that you would need to go to the bathroom much sooner than he would. Normally, using your diaper was a pleasure. But in this situation, it certainly didn’t feel like that. Your bladder suddenly ached and while you tried holding it as much as possible, your bladder was too weak from years of going into diapers. You barely held out for a few seconds before leaking into your diaper.

“Oh no.” you said in a high-pitched voice under your breath. You were bending down  to see the damage to your diaper. You had been completely and thoroughly humiliated. Brought down to nothing more than a baby who pisses her pants.

“Looks like princess went in her diaper! Good thing you were wearing them, baby!”

“I’m not a baby!” you bawled out.

“Shh-shh. It’s okay.” The man came to comfort you. You didn’t like him, but it did feel good to have strong arms around you. You felt safe. “Don’t worry, Daddy’s here. Daddy’s going to take of you from now on. No need to be a big girl.”

You liked being a big girl, but you had a feeling you didn’t have much of a choice.

Photo credit: Shantal from ByteMine

For more stories by me: https://reamstories.com/babywriter

[meanbossart]

How did your DU drow react when he got told he had to kill his spouse? and then when he went to wake up Astarion and get tied up? I think I just wanna know how your DU drow mentally/emotionally is doing during and after that part, and when talking to Astarion afterward, I'm a sucker for hearing about those deep kinds of moments (hopefully that makes sense?) Also, how did your DU react when you met Kressa Bonedaughter and learned all about what was done to him (again, I know none of the companions really comment on literally something horrible being told such a shame, honestly) but how would you say or think that Astarion and Shadowheart might have reacted hearing that info? Again, thank you for all your art and for answering these questions! PS: (I really don't care if your answer is super long; I WILL EAT IT UP)

Sooo for the first question, I wanna preface by saying that I personally don't think their relationship was that in depth yet, at that point. Yes, DU drow enjoyed Astarion's company and relied on him in a similar way which he relied on Shadowheart. And also yes, Astarion saw DU drow as the first person who ever took him and his agency seriously - but I think feelings were still in their infancy. DU drow's mind was a mess through and through; he drank constantly to keep his urge at bay, he kept his distance from everyone most of the time, and when he did seek out comfort in either Shadowheart or Astarion (the non-sexual kind, they didn't really fuck at all), it was a kind of primal instinct and desperate longing for companionship - if you asked him if he was in love with anyone, however, he would have said no.

Similarly, while I think Astarion's act 2 confession is sincere, I also think that he's being sincere when he says that he doesn't know what you are yet. You're not really a lover, but you aren't a victim, either; what you are is a person who he would rather not have to murder eventually, and as someone who has had their empathy squeezed out throughout the course of two centuries, that's meaningful enough. He may fantasize about the best case scenario for you two - but he has no expectations that whatever this is will last. But it is nice, for the time being.

So the "murder your darling" scene, rather than a proof of love and trust, is to me the turning point where:

A) DU drow has to come to terms with the fact that he doesn't have as much control over the Urge as he thought, and B) When Astarion snaps out of his care-free, just-go-with-the-flow nature around his plan and this relationship. They both realize they bit off more than they could chew and are now caught in each other's crossfire.

Which is to say that I don't read Astarion's words of comfort to him as entirely honest - specially when you compare it to certain dialogue deliveries later in the game. I think he's still, to a degree, telling you what you need to hear so that you hold out for just a bit longer and kill Cazador. You probably can't be together forever as he idly fantasized about once or twice, when he let his mind wander - but god damn it, he needs to at least be free, and it seems like you have bloodlust to spare to make that happen.

Meanwhile, DU drow finally comes to confront the fact that he is not in control. Doesn't matter how hard he tries or how much he drinks, the urge will do to him as it will, and when it wishes. It stops being fun and it gets scary, from that moment on.

But here's who did stop it: Astarion. Where alcohol fell short and his willpower failed, Astarion stepped in.

So, more interesting than the scene itself to me, is how from that point on DU drow would have no choice but put his trust entirely on the vampire to control him. He ties him up, he keeps an eye on him, he has full spoken-word permission to kill him if necessary - he is forced to be as vulnerable at humanly possible under his hand, every night. Regardless of whether or not DU drow realizes that Astarion is doing it for his own reasons, he doesnt care, because Astarion has now become his rock and his bondage - hell, if Astarion does have a reason to keep him alive that's all the better; someone else might just slit DU drow's throat and be done with the concern altogether.

And so, it's only from that point on that DU drow truly starts to see Astarion as an equal, and even a partner. He's thinking that, if his whole life has to be like this, at least he has someone who can handle it.

Astarion, meanwhile, I believe only comes to truly consider (and wish for) DU drow's freedom after he's free from Cazador - and after he bestows that freedom upon his siblings and the other spawn. That's when he finally understands the length of DU drow's devotion to him and the value of freewill as a concept- and how he wants it for both of them, instead of being content with his own.

Not to mention... I think in Astarion's mind he was 100% not going to survive Cazador LOL so when he succeeds he's like "oh shit I guess anything is fucking possible huh. Yeah fuck it lets go fight your dad, also I've decided I want you for realsies, now."

Anyways, can you believe I thought this was gonna be a short ask. Here have a doodle I made while thinking about all this bullshit:

As for Kressa, I got an ask about that before but I can't find it now LOL to summarize; he was pissed, angered, and in a far more personal level embarrassed to have had his dirty laundry aired (AKA, victimized) in that way in front of the others - but this isn't something he would have expressed outwardly, and I think both Shadowheart and Astarion would have known better than to inquire him about it. It's not really something he would have sought out comfort for in anyone, so, I think the subject died as soon as Kressa did. In this case, their lack of commentary was completely appropriate - If they had reached out in any way (which would have been, in my opinion, completely out of character) DU drow would have shut them out with a quickness.

[mochifiction]

I Saw Transformers One Early Last Week. Let’s Talk About It!!! (SPOILER FREE)

EXPECTATIONS

I’m going to be honest, I had very very low expectations for this movie for a multitude of reasons. The first was the cast, particularly choosing celebrity hires instead of professional voice actors for a franchise where dialogue delivery means SO MUCH historically and the present. I like Chris Hemsworth, I do, but I am so attached to Orion Pax that I did NOT see him as someone fit for the role. I was also afraid of it becoming a WFC situation where the VA tries TOO HARD to be Peter Cullen. I am also a huge fan of Elita One, and Scarlett Johansson was not my first choice by any means. The one thing giving me hope was the fact that Scarlett and Chris interact SO WELL in their films together and in press releases and they do give off that Orion and Elita energy sometimes. Regardless, I was skeptical.

Now for the big thing: I was very nervous how they were going to handle the politics and the buildup that leads to Megatronus and Orion’s separation. It is no secret that Pre-War Cybertron in many continuities begins with a very corrupt and fascist Senate. Corrupted Senators, capitalistic manipulation and unethical abuse, dehumanization, corporal punishment, you name it, Cybertron had it. The concepts of functionalism, shadowplay, mnemosurgery, and empurata also come to mind. It is also no secret that the United States is on the brink of total fascism. A lot of Pre-War Cybertron’s themes, particularly the Decepticon cause in its early days as a movement, emphasized the elimination of the oppressive regime and reconstruction with an end to the very infrastructure that caused class division and brutalization of Cybertronian bodies. Not only this, but Megatronus and Orion’s schism often comes because of class, particularly privilege and lack thereof, which is something that often happens in revolution. Those with more privilege often think that reform can happen underneath the system that looms over them, just with a switching of a guard and elimination of a few policies. They are often ones who partook in and benefitted from the system by birth or for the sake of survival. Those who come from the lower classes want to burn the entire system down, understanding in its entirety that its very infrastructure is unstable and is not sustainable, no matter who is in power. Examples of this divide despite deep friendship and similar ideas is Andres Bonifacio and Jose Rizal of the Philippines (as a Filipino). Orion, in most cases coming from a privileged background, saw hope in simple reform after extracting the corrupt portions of the federal structure. Megatronus, who fought his whole life to be deemed as sentient, understood that the entire system was diseased and could not go on. It would just eventually continue its horrid practices. I can go on a tangent about this, as someone who studies and writes on anti-colonialism, but that’s another post for another day. My concern based on the trailers was that it would address NONE of that and there would be some watered down conflict that removed the nuances and political passion behind a lot of other continuities. The trailers, to me, were not giving me enough proof that it would be handled correctly.

Initial Experience

My theater was filled with mostly adults of various ages who were fans of different continuities. Some people were even talking about how they thought the movie was going to suck, including me with my dad, who has been a fan since G1 in the 80s and was going in blind. However, throughout the entire film, the whole theater was laughing, gasping, cheering, clapping, and screaming. Afterwards, there were people who were literally talking about how it was the movie they’d been waiting for after years of disappointment. Someone literally shouted when leaving the theater that he was so excited for September when everyone else could see it. My dad, who has not been a fan of recent Transformers material, talked nonstop about how much he loved it. Me personally, I was BRIMMING with excitement afterwards, which is huge given that I was ready to criticize the movie’s every move. Let me get into why- note this is SPOILER FREE.

Orion Pax

Believe it or not, I really liked TF1’s Orion. He was witty, had the snark of Aligned Orion, and clearly had a goal in mind: to entirely shift the status quo by breaking the class distinction. He was extremely optimistic like most versions, something that is often criticized in the fanbase, and is also criticized in the film. However, the qualities that G1 created and the Bayverse destroyed were THERE. Orion was a DORK. He was KIND. He CARED for people deeply, even if they weren’t necessarily thinking about him. He was a KNOWN PROBLEM-SOLVER. His intelligence is noted MULTIPLE times. He really is authentically Orion. I’ll do a more in-depth analysis in September.

Megatronus/ D-16

Now, THIS MAN WAS AMAZING. I am so used to the source of his anger being solely lower class-based oppression amongst other things relating to that. The film offered another option, which I will not disclose, but I thought it was a wonderful addition. I will keep my mouth shut about D-16’s personality in this film because it’s a secret, but just know this new take on Megatronus was a bit refreshing and gives new material for both fan continuity writers and fanfic writers.

Elita

I was honestly scared to see how they would portray Elita, especially with their track record of solely making her Optimus’s love interest and killing her off. I also was afraid that they would turn her into a white feminism caricature, which I can go into depth about for clarification if anyone needs it. However, the writers take feminism for Elita and take a much more in-depth route. I found her well done. She was giving mother in this film, absolutely brilliant. There will be an analysis on her as well in September, especially since they have so much intended room for her.

Worldbuilding and Additional Characters

I think that with about an hour and a half, it would have been SO HARD to create an entire world of deep political brutality and nuance like the comics directly. So, I think the writers created a framework that was good enough to convey the fascist undertones of Cybertron while also leaving so many avenues to explore and elaborate on for future films, whether they be prequels or sequels. Some characters were added in with a bit of context, but no in-depth explanations. While I would normally say that’s a downside, I think that it was actually really smart on their part. If you tried to add all of these complex stories from the comics in an hour and a half film combined with everything else, it would have likely been underdeveloped and left more questions and holes than answers. By removing that, I think that it was a smart move to expand on in their own time and with good pacing. Besides, the presence of some characters was very enjoyable and kept the audience I was with wanting more from them. Not in a “there wasn’t enough of them” way at all, but instead a “they were so cool in the short time they were here I need more now” way. Everyone in this continuity gets a new and different start. I honestly think it would give fan continuity writers motivation to continue what they’re doing, now that basic and consistent pre-war plot lines have been redone. I think for how long the movie is, they did a great job.

Additional Thoughts

I think that everything was pretty well done. The pacing was especially important, given we were supposed to witness a buildup in such a devastating “divorce”. That isn’t done lightly, and they made sure that they built it up enough to where the final blow was devastating. It was SO DEVASTATING that people in my theater were gasping left and right. The comedy was well done, as someone who hates poorly-written jokes for laughs. It fit into the characters’ personalities well, that’s what made it work well. It didn’t feel forced because that’s just how that particular character is. I also think that, as a fandom, sometimes we get too wrapped up in very specific characterizations of these individuals to the point where we refuse new ideas. I was extremely guilty of this. However, this film was truly made by someone that loved the franchise and knew exactly what the fans wanted. Brian Tyler, who did the score for TFP, also doing the score for this film was proof of that (as someone who absolutely ADORES film scores as a musician) There was a good amount of brutality within the rating of the film, so bayverse fans who are itching for something shockingly horrible are in for a surprise. I also think that it knew its boundaries well and moved not to push them while also being considerate of certain audiences who may be a bit younger. It was a good restart, especially for animated Transformers films, and I think that they can really build it into something great. This was a very sound foundation and I was not disappointed.

ALSO, THERE IS A MID AND POST-CREDIT SCENE SO DON’T LEAVE IMMEDIATELY

[ludwigplayingthetrombone]

Ding dong, here’s the final chapter! I have an epilogue in mind so that may come later, but for now, Thanks  so so much for the response to this series and Enjoy!

Ch1 Ch2 Ch3

[talking] [talking passes]

Gai: You knew right away, didn’t you? Kka: Correct. I knew something was wrong when you weren’t trying to do situps or anything..... You little criminal, who smuggled that in for you? Gai: Naruto

Kks: How did you get him to do that? /I/ cant even get Naruto to do things. The tear tracks and shit eating grin are cute. Kinda wanna kiss you. Gai: Don’t let me be a hindrance to-

Gai: What are you giggling about? Kks: I just remembered

Kks: I get to hold over your head that I held mirai before you. Gai: You what?! Your first baby hold and I missed it? Get off of me Kks: So mean! Near death made you crabby. Gai: I won’t give into this Kks: You will, you always succumb. [gai sighs annoyed]

Gai: [Groans] When are they making you swear in as hokage? Kks: That’s not happening anymore thankfully. Gai: Huuuh?? Tenzou didn’t tell me that!

Gai: He said Lady Tsunade was retiring and you were the only choice. Naruto even tried to- Kks: Where do you think i’ve been all day? I convinced her to hold out until Naruto or whoever  took over next. Gai: How did you smooth talk that one? Kks: I agreed to do her paperwork and cover for when she needs R&R. I also advised her to ditch the elders so she can actually run this shit show right. Gai: And they... took that well? The elders? Kks: No, not at all. Let’s just say I said some... things that made them backtrack on their decision.

Gai: YOu cant just say that and not tell me now!! I gotta know! Kks: Well... Homura: Absolutely not! Kks: If I am appointed, I’ll be replacing you regardless. Naruto certainly will. It’s inevitable. Koharu: Those kids don’t know how this village runs!

Kks:Those kids just won your war and this is how you speak of them. Or are “those kids“ only respectable to you when they’re eager to die at your beckon call and shut up. Elders: How dare- Watch your tongue! Kks: I won’t be someone who you can walk all over. Things will change. Just so my intentions are clear

Gai: What next?! Kks: That’s is really. Kinda tuned the rest out and passed out for 3 hours. Gai: Rival, I was so invested Kks: Sorry Gai: So you agreed to essentially split the work of a hokage but not publicly take the title? Kks: Mhm Gai: So cool! Apologies, I had just assumes since you were gonna accept last time Kks:[hums] Things changed. Konoha’s not on the brink of war, Tsunade’s still here. The village can breathe and rebuild now.

Kks: After a glimpse of the hassle and public attention the last time, I’m just... Not interested in any of that. I’ve never dreamed or desired to be the hokage. That was always something others wanted /for/ me. So I said no. I know you were happy for me so- Gai: Kakashi

Gai: I’m so very proud of you for expressing how you truly feel. You and tsunade will do amazing work supporting the next generation. Even If you chose to retire today, I’d still be just as proud of you. Also a selfish part of me if happy to have more time with you. [kks huffs]

Kks: I’m proud of you too, y’ know. All your hard work, you’re fucking incredible. Glad my dad made me talk to the cool kid in the green jumpsuit. 2nd coolest shinobi. Gai: Only took 25 years, but I’ve finally caught your eye! Kks: Yup, let’s move in together.

Gai: WHAT?1 Whu-! Kks: I’m fixing up dad’s old house with Tenzou. you should live there with me Gai: Why? Kks: Why are yo suspicious? I’m serious. Space, accessibility for you... I want you around more. Gai: Ok Kks: Ok? Gai: An exciting change is just what my youthful journey needs!! Kks: So yes?

Gai: I would love to share a home with you, Rival [kks giggling] What now?

Kks: Did I just make you succumb, Gai-kun? Gai: When can we have a match next, I need to consensually slap you in the head [kks laughs] Why did you say it like that? Kks: I’m sorry! Your pout looks so cute.... You are still moving in with me, right? That wasnt a joke.

Gai: I’m gonna let you sweat on that one awhile... [whimpers]

Kks: Love you so much, Gai

[gai snoring]

[gai snoring]

[respectthepetty]

Give me merch, BoC!

Before I freak out about colors in episode three of 4 Minutes, just know that if this was a time-traveling show on GMMTV, the cats in the claw machine would've been merch yesterday!

BoC, why don't you want our money?!

But even without making them merch, these cats made my day!

And it's all because Great gave Tyme the white one.

Tyme is color-coded black and Great is color-coded white.

So each cat represents them in this time-shifting story, and Great gave himself to Tyme by giving him the white cat.

And strangely enough, these color-coded boys won several cats which is a successful date, but also something something about several versions of themselves existing within the story . . .

But what really makes me happy is each cat has a heart in the other color on its side, so when held together, those heart patches form a dual-colored heart!

And although I think Tyme approached Great because he wanted information on Great's family, the boys got hit with a tiny blinding light of love right before they were supposed to kiss.

And Tyme did expose himself to Great instead of fighting him even though he could have easily overpowered Great, which is something we saw when Tyme fought Title.

Because this story is really about the gray area everyone is existing in.

When Win showed up the first time, Tonkla was guarded with a boundary firmly planted between them and Win was light.

But this episode, Tonkla removed his barrier, and let Win in, but Win, in his dark colors, definitely crossed a line he shouldn't have.

Win is a good guy.

And so is Korn.

But circumstances and choices change people.

And even the best people are capable of doing bad.

So it's interesting that Tyme has been positioned in black from the beginning even though he is a doctor.

And Great is positioned as white even though we have seen him run away from doing what's right several times.

Yet when Tyme went to ask Great out and Great confessed to seeing the future, Tyme was in gray as he shifts between the two colors.

Great's interactions with Tyme advance the clock a minute closer to 11:04 from 11:00, but the number four is special, as many people have pointed out because it represents death.

And Great keeps getting closer and closer.

So him throwing down his phone causing the number four ball to roll into the pocket was perhaps telling that it's not all Tyme moving the clock, but just like Win and Korn and their colors, Great's choices are moving the clock and impacting his life.

Doctors save lives, but we have been shown through the woman who tried to die by suicide and the patient this episode in Bed #4, that doctors also need to know when to listen and end a patient's suffering.

(Spare Me Your Mercy, I'm so ready for you and your color-coded boys in love to give us a story about these specific ethics! I'm going to watch you so hard!)

Tyme continues to say he isn't a doctor but a surgeon. Tyme doesn't listen to his patients, which is why Den is upset at him. And Tyme isn't listening to Great because if he was he'd hear exactly what is being said - "these symptoms happened when [the] heart stopped"

Tyme needs Great to remind him, that regardless of the past, it's important to listen and care, and Great needs Tyme to listen to his sad rich boy stories. They need each other to save each other. Triage, is that you homie in a trench coat and mustache glasses?!

But more importantly, they need each other to save each other's hearts! Great needs Tyme to literally save his life by saving his heart, but Tyme was hardening his heart. He had stated several times that he is in his career for the money, but Great reminded Tyme that money was irrelevant if the love was missing with his story of a 1,000 baht toy. They have both good and bad in them, but they need the other color-coded person to be complete. They need the other person to live.

Since I still believe Tyme is the one having cardiac arrest in the first episode, if one of them actually gives up his heart to save the other, I'm gonna be unwell about it.

Random Thoughts:

The friend calling Tyme a "pale guy, very handsome, and kinda brooding" hit me personally because I call characters who are black color-coded Black Brooders and Tyme is the Black Brooder in this story.

Great seeing the message on the tea cup change from "Don't forget to get your wound checked at the hospital" to "Can you forgive me, Great?" has me thinking this won't just be about Tyme trying to get dirt on Great's family and Great being upset about. That question feels heavier. That question feels like both their lives are changed by Tyme.

The female patient who experiences the same symptoms as Great was wearing white and black when she was being interviewed, but when Great envisioned a woman on the bed, red lights were flashing, like they were meeting while coding.

The way the red reflects on Great's shirt in the car makes it look like a heart on his sleeve when he looks at Tyme.

MY BOY MIO!

[gilverrwrites]

Their Perfect Dates HCs [Demon Edition]

Well.. demons + Benny

Rating: General

Angel Edition | Human Edition

Please remember: you can do hard things!

Belphegor

No gift, he’s from a time before that was a thing and does not care enough to check what the current trends are.

If you ask nice enough, he might bring you something next time.

Weirdly obsessed with humans however. (Just not in a ‘I wanna be like them’ way)

Find a cafe with outdoor seating in a highly populated area, and people watch.

Laugh at his jokes, and don’t be precious over your food/drink cause he’s gonna help himself.

‘Hot, not, not, HOT, extra hot.’ ‘This is so good, have you tried this?’ ‘It was yours? Oh shit, sorry. At least you have good taste… in multiple ways’ (he’d wink at you then, if he could.) ‘Ew have those pants ever in fashion?’ ‘Haha, did you see that kid face plant the side walk?! Get rekt’

Benny

He’s an old traditional man really, he’ll bring you a bouquet of daisies. Legitimately, if he could, he would ask your father for permission to take you out.

Cooking as has always been, and continues to be a big part of Benny's personality.

It doesn’t matter that the food no longer sustains him, because it keeps him connected to his home, and his history.

Plus, the way to any person's heart is through their stomach,

You’ll be in the kitchen together, cooking gumbo or jambalaya, and bananas foster for dessert.

If you don’t know how to cook, don’t worry. Benny is gonna take the lead anyway, he’ll teach you as much as you think you can handle.

He’s very respectful, but if you just so happen to brush against each other while working in the same space, well, that just can be helped now can it?

Or if you’re slightly in his way, sometimes he just needs to rest a gentle but firm hand on your hip and guide you to the side.

Or if you accidentally get something on your cheek? Your lip? He’ll have to get that for you.

Crowley

I’m picturing a rustic but sophisticated cabin in the woods.

Somewhere private, a safe space just for the two of you.

Something with a big, roaring fireplace.

A big, plush, velvety sofa, and an array of fluffy blankets, pillows, furs, rugs.

A fully stocked bar. ‘Don’t worry darling, you won’t have to lift a finger.’ He or a lesser demon will make all your drinks for you.

Just some real, 1 on 1 quality time together where you can both be vulnerable.

Whether you spend all night in deep conversation, cuddling, or getting even more intimate is your choice.

Meg

Would forget to bring you a gift, but if it goes well, she’ll likely give you one of her many pieces of jewelry, ‘Whatever you like most hun, just take it.’

I feel like she would actually really enjoy something creative, the messier the better.

Like finding a big open space, lowering the lights, laying down a big canvas, cracking open a bottle, and getting busy with some paints.

No brushes, just hands (or other body parts if you like).

Rowena

Gracing you with her presence is gift enough.

If anything, you should be bringing her a gift. Jewelry is always best, but she will settle for roses or red wine.

Rowena knows her worth, and if you don’t, then don’t waste her time.

She deserves nothing less than to be wined and dined somewhere very nice.

Followed by a show. The ballet or the opera.

Just imagine, the both of you dressed to the nines. Holding hands over the table, good food and drink, Rowena sharing stories from her time on earth.

Coffee or dessert? Both. Please and thank you.

Ruby

Would bring you candy, but you have to share.

Also a big foodie, but more eating, less cooking.

Like a street food market, or a boardwalk.

You can compete on the water guns and ring toss games to win each other prizes.

She’s only letting you win if there is something in it for her. – Particularly a prize that she wants.

Regardless of who wins what, you’re gonna be the one carrying everything.

Then stop at every food stand on the way.

Bonus points for somewhere that has proper french fries in large portions.

Afterwards, you can chat at the end of the peer, and/or make out under it. 

[bloop-bl00p]

Rewriting Sir Pentious justice for the snake boie

Doesn’t anyone find it weird how we’re gonna have the backstory of everyone in later seasons?

Not only do they hardly follow the redemption aspects but they also give us little to nothing about the characters. I can buy that Heaven is corrupt and/or unfair but rather than having Adam throwing curse words and profanities every five seconds, why not show it in elements of the main cast backstory?

Reveal that they were essentially in unjust situations where they had no other choice but sins to survive, the type of stories that’ll make the audience think “Is Heaven fair in its judgment?” then you have the reveal that the system is corrupted. It feels like common sense to me.

Anyway, Sir Pentious wasn’t that much of an asshole in my rewrite, we understand why he acted the way he did but he still fucked up.

Madhav Karmakar was born in 1858. He was an Indian migrant in England who wanted to follow a partnership in engineering. Studying hard and else he worked ten times harder than the other students due to prejudice regarding his origin.

He made his way into a prestigious university and went out with his diploma ready to show off his skill but generally still faced racial discrimination. Throughout his life, Madhav had to do everything in his power to completely suppress anything that tied him to his country, fully adopting British mannerisms and culture, suppressing his accent, and else. At 17, he became an apprentice and started studying Mechanical Engineering, ending officially his studies at 24.

His hardship allowed him to work alongside others to develop steam machines and various ways of transportation. Despite having clearly mastered, and even ameliorated his domain, Madhav still had fewer opportunities compared to his colleagues and was paid less than the other regardless of the amount of work he put in.

What was first jealousy due to the unfairness of his situation quickly became Envy directed at his white counterparts. He started slowly destroying the reputation of his associates mostly by secretly sabotaging their work in various manners, introducing faulty designs, tampering with documentation, sabotaging equipment and tools, and anything really just to make himself feel better.

It lasted for years until one of his sabotages cost him his life. In 1888 at 30 years old, he caused one structure to collapse and the debris fell on him breaking his legs, he died screaming for help under the remains and suffocated because of the dust.

A few years following his arrival in Hell, he used his ingenuity to create steampunk-style machines in order to conquer territory. Problems, most of the lands were already owned by powerful Overlords. Madhav overestimated his inventions a lot so he got his nonexistent ass beaten all the time. He even gained the nickname Sir Pretentious though he still tries and insists on being called by his real surname (nobody does.)

The dude persisted, gaining the reputation of the village fool. Surprisingly for everyone he finally managed to get his hand on a very small portion of a territory… only for it to be snatched away by a punk rookie a week later. It would be easy for any Overlord to step up but they have their own business to take care of and some find it funny to see those two quarrel all the time.

Bit of a fun fact:

→ If I had to redesign him, he’d be fit with a large figure, we’re talking of the man who built this alone…

.. I doubt the egg boys can lift things too heavy considering they are fragile. So yeah, Madhav isn’t a twink.

→ The egg boys aren’t literal eggs just small mechanical robots he built to be his minions, if they were to break they’ll be gears everywhere but he could still rebuild them later. He wishes he could make them a bit smarter.

→ Snakes are very often associated with lies and manipulation and everything related to it. That’s what Madhav has been as a human, an envious liar. But, snakes can also symbolize renewal and rebirth in other cultures, and since he’s gonna be the first redeemed it kinda fits. I don’t know if Viv knew this but shout out to her if she did.

→ Keeping the romance with Cherry, I can appreciate a really good Enemy to Lover but the way it was framed feels like Cherry only got interested when she learned he had two dick, which feels icky and disingenuous.

So, I thought of slowly making their relationship more of a “Are they fighting or flirting” type of thing. That and having Cherry make comments between their fight like “You’re getting better at this!” which flatters Madhav because he never really had recognition for his fighting skills or invention.

He’s still a bit stuck in the old-timey way of courtship, and considering those things could last 3 to 4 years, with him you can expect the slowest slow burn possible. Anyway, he still respects lots of British traditions, being a regular correspondent and sending letters and gifts. I can see him asking to go on a walk or organize Rendez-vous to learn more about Bomb when his rivalry gets more friendly.

→ His obsession with fighting Alastor comes from the fact that he didn't manage to get up the stairs as quickly as the deer did. So he’s envious and seeks to beat Alastor in a battle to prove he’s the superior one, but he loses every time. His last chance is to side with the Vees, but Vox doesn't even bat an eye when he is near. So just imagine how ecstatic he was when Vox proposed to him to be a spy. While the first weeks were fine, he found himself getting attached to the staff more and more. It was a genuine environment where few people actually recognized him as the brilliant engineer he was (I thought he could actually help with the hotel construction since the building is old and all) and they actually called him by his name.

Not siding with Vox will be the first step to his redemption, renouncing to act of his envious feelings and focusing on what he already had rather than seeking to destroy those above him.

→ His lisp gets worse when he’s lying, he obliviously maintains a whole evil British persona in his quest for respect so as he slowly starts to get genius he’ll slowly start to speak with more ease.

→ Regarding how he’ll appear once in Heaven, he’ll be a human. I find it strange that you don't get to get your human appearance once saved. Viv said it herself, the reason why sinners look like that is because their appearance is in correlation with their sins, life, and the ways they die. It’s a way to mock them.

If this dude or girl gets redeemed, they’ll stay on a couch and that’s just sad, imagine you die go to Hell redeem yourself and you're still a furniture. Anyway, Madhav will get his human form back but with hints of his demonic form.

Kinda like Lovesart23 you should go see her videos and rewrite.

[queenshelby]

Our Little Secret (Part 13)

Pairing: Dark! Cillian Murphy x Virgin! Reader

Warning: Infidelity, Brief Mention of Stillbirth

Notes: This will not be a love story. It will be dark, twisted and kinky. Cillian is portrayed as totally off cannon.

Two weeks had passed and you had almost moved on with your life which did not involve your family. 

Your mother had kicked you out of her own house following your tryst with Cillian. But as luck would have it, your cousin Lukas had offered you a place to stay after Emma's parents too would not allow you to remain at their family home for more than a week.

You had to find a job quickly to sustain yourself and fortunately, you managed to secure employment at a local bookstore. The hours were flexible, and they paid decently, making your living situation somewhat manageable under these circumstances.

School, however, had to give way to your new lifestyle and you chose to transfer to college in the evening in an attempt to finish your education.

As far as Cillian was concerned, you had not heard from him since that afternoon, leaving you in a state of limbo regarding your relationship status with him.

From the local papers, you since learned that he had finally left Danielle and was now publicly fighting for custody of his son Max who the columns claimed was not his actual son at all.

Yet none of this mattered as you sat there staring blankly into space, haunted by memories and regret. Overwhelmed by guilt and confusion, you tried to block out the past few months - how you became entangled in such a mess with no future, only moments spent locked away from the world. But, it wasn’t easy. It felt as though the entire universe conspired to punish you for daring to experience passion beyond societal norms, yet you continued searching deep inside yourself for answers that wouldn't come easily.

You were pregnant with Cillian's child and an abortion was not currently something you could afford emotionally nor financially, forcing you to confront your reality alone. For the first time in years, the choices you made seemed to echo hollowly in your ears as you attempted to navigate this complex web of deceit, betrayal, and self-discovery.

"Em, I do not know what to do," you admitted honestly, breaking down in tears as she visited you, just like she did every day after you finished work. 

Emma pulled you close, offering comfort as she held you tight.

"We're going to figure this out together," she assured you reassuringly, wiping away your tears. "But I honestly think that you need to tell Cillian," Emma added cautiously. "He has a right to know."

Her advice struck a chord in you, causing you to sit upright and nod thoughtfully.

"I asked him if he could meet, about a week ago, and he never got back to me, Em!" you said, feeling worthless and unwanted.

"He is going through a lot himself and he doesn't know about you carrying his child. Maybe you should try and give him a call again?" Emma interjected, attempting to mediate.

Despite Emma's suggestion, you remained hesitant, unsure whether reaching out to Cillian was the right decision. Nevertheless, you decided to pick up your phone and call him regardless of the consequences.

After a series of rings, someone else picked up on the other end – a stranger.

“Hello, can I speak to Cillian please?” you asked politely, trying hard to maintain composure amidst growing anxiety.

"Who am I speaking to?" replied the unfamiliar voice, curiosity evident in her tone.

”This is Y/N and I really need to speak with him,” you introduced yourself, taking a deep breath in preparation for what might follow. “Is Cillian available, please?” you begged and, just after you did, there was silence on the line for several seconds before the woman spoke up again.

"So, you are the homewrecker?" she snarled bitterly, anger radiating from her voice.

You flinched upon hearing those harsh words directed at you. You didn't expect the person answering Cillian's phone to actually know who you were, but then again, you did not know about the woman on the other line either.

"Listen, my brother isn't available. Don't call again. Please don't bother him anymore," came the venomous reply. Taken aback by the hostility, you couldn't understand why she reacted so aggressively when you hadn't even spoken poorly of Cillian. After a momentary pause, you found your voice.

"Actually, it's important we talk, whether you like it or not," you stated resolutely, ignoring the sharp edge in her voice. There was another brief silence followed by a mocking laughter that broke the air.

"Listen sweetheart, Cillian is going through legal proceedings against his wife, Danielle, because of you. He should not be speaking to you and if you call this phone again, I will provide you with a cease-and-desist letter on my brother's behalf. Any further contact will be considered as harassment, " she threatened ominously making you realise that the woman on the other end of the line was not only Cillian's sister, but also his solicitor, handling his custody case. 

You recalled having met her at the funeral a few weeks ago. Her name was Alison and she worked at one of the largest law firms in Dublin. 

As the conversation progressed, it became apparent that she despised you with an intensity that took you off guard. To make matters worse, she insisted you ceased communication with Cillian altogether. This was problematic considering she served as both Cillian's attorney and sister, putting her in a unique and potentially influential position.

You struggled to comprehend the full extent of your predicament until now. How were you supposed to inform Cillian about the child growing inside you without incurring the wrath of his sister?

It appeared impossible. Nonetheless, you had to reach out somehow, eventually, and hope for understanding from both sides despite their conflicted history.

As days turned into weeks, you grew increasingly anxious and restless, worrying constantly about how you were going to break the news to Cillian as the dire three-month mark drew nearer and you had yet another appointment with a local social worker to discuss your situation.

She offered you both, a community funded loan to carry out the procedure you needed or the option of putting you in touch with an adoption agency so that, further down the track, you could give up your child if you desired to do so.

Although it may seem cruel, it seemed practical and logical in light of your situation and, in the end, even Emma agreed with you on that front. The idea that you could choose whether or not to become a parent appealed to your desire for control over your destiny. However, this was easier said than done. Having a baby meant drastically altering your course forever, but you also knew that, not having the baby, might cause you regret. 

The choice loomed large, casting its shadow over your daily existence. You frequently found yourself pondering the gravity of your options while walking along the quiet streets surrounding your temporary residence late at night. You often stopped in your tracks, contemplating your fate as a result of your irresponsible actions.

Life seemed determined to play itself out according to the chaos you created. Every passing day brought you closer to facing the inevitable truth and this truth was now something you had to confront by yourself. Without the man who caused all this by your site. 

Tags:

@sunbeamseas @saint-ackerman @oatmealisweird @naxxsstuff @amanda08319 @r-m-cidnah @elysiannook @cillshot @infireddabdab @tastycakee @harrysbestiee @lilybabe22 @adalynlowell @henrywintersdearestgirl @ietss @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @ryiamarie @axionn

@heidimoreton @nela-cutie @futurecorps3 @delishen @nosebleeds-247 @thirteenis-myluckynumber @gills-lounge @hjmalmed @lost-fantasy @tiredkitten @sidechrisporn @smallsoulunknown @charqing-qing @hopefulinlove @aporiasposts @shycrybaby @me-and-your-husband @hjmalmed @lacontroller1991 @galxydefender @aporiasposts

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[iamvegorott]

Change of Life

So I decided to hop on the Vampire Jackie trend real quick This is an angsty one~

---------

Change of Life

Jackie felt…cold? Was he cold? He was shivering, body trembling against his will. Was he actually cold? Something about his everything was wrong. 

He was also so hungry. He was starving, but it didn’t matter how much food he ate it was never enough. Eating to the point of illness and still feeling so empty and weak. He was getting angry cause of the hunger, lashing out at those he cared for, and it hurt to see himself like that. 

Jackie needed answers, needed to figure himself out and get away before he went too far. 

He curled up into a tighter ball. The dark alley that hid his body only had the sounds of passing by cars. Jackie failed at trying to find answers almost immediately. The sun had been too bright, making it almost impossible to see, and he’d been cowering in the alley for hours, too scared to leave his spot. 

The others had to be looking for him by now, and that made his heart ache even more at the thought of them worrying about him. He was the hero. He took care of the others. This isn’t how it was supposed to be. 

How did he even get here? Ever since that weird guy attacked him, it’s been downhill from there. Jackie was just trying to get wood for some project Marvin was working on. He never questioned what that man was creating, he was just excited to be helpful and went looking for some sticks that matched the little list of requirements he had been given. A little side quest, he thought of it as. It gave him an excuse to go out and check out the little forest near their home. Admittedly, it was much later into the night than it should have been for him to be exploring since they had heard howls before, but Jackie was brave and strong. Even if something came after him, he’d be fine.

But something did come after him.

And it wasn’t a coyote.

It was a man. 

 A really weird man. A man who tried to grab his neck and instead bit down on Jackie’s arm when he broke free. The man didn’t seem to expect Jackie to fight back the way he did since he simply stood there as he ran back home.

Jackie rolled up the sleeve of his hoodie, looking at the two puncture wounds on his arm. He tried to figure out how the bite left the mark that it did. They were red and sore to the touch. Jackie knew he should have told the others about it and gotten them looked at, but that would have caused so much worry, and Jackie would never be allowed to go out alone again. However, he might be losing the privilege regardless, given his current choices. 

“Shit.” Jackie cursed when he pressed too hard on the mark, and it sent a jolt of pain through his arm, almost like a quick zap of electricity. “Man…I think I messed up.” He hugged his knees to his chest, telling himself he should get up and go, but he couldn’t. He needed something and had no idea what that need was for. “Oh, not now.” Jackie groaned when he heard voices coming down the alley. He really didn’t want to deal with people. A rarity for him, so that meant he really didn’t want people around him. 

“Leave me alone!” One of the voices stood out, filled with fear. “Help! Someone help!” Jackie quickly scrambled to his feet, unable to stop himself from running over. “Help!” He saw a young man being held by two others, a third digging through a backpack, tearing out books and papers from it. 

“Would you shut up!?” One of the men snapped, yanking on the smaller man’s arm and getting him to yelp in pain. 

“Hey! Stop!” Jackie felt a voice in the back of his head yelling at him that this was a bad idea. Standing alone took so much effort from his body. He was weak and hungry. Nothing was right, and a fight should be the last thing on his mind. 

“Buzz of kid, don’t try being a hero.” The man with the bag scoffed. 

“I’m not trying. I am a hero.” Jackie puffed his chest out, trying to appear tough despite the hollow feeling behind his eyes. 

“This is annoying.” The man stood up, pulling a pocket knife out. “You don’t want to get involved in this, alright? It’s none of your business. Just go home and let us do our work.” 

“Yeah, no.” Jackie took a step forward and watched as the man reacted.

The world felt slower.

The knife went toward him, and he simply swiped it aside, like knocking away a cobweb. He took another step and threw a punch, fist connecting with the man’s nose. He could hear and feel the cracking of it. 

“Holy shit!” One of the other men yelled. Jackie’s eyes widened as the man he punched held his face, blood gushing from his shattered nose, seeping between his fingers. He didn’t mean to hit him that hard. It was just supposed to be a quick jab. 

“I…” Jackie looked at his hand, blood on his fist. 

Red… dripping…blood.

Jackie thickly swallowed. The scent was so…oh it was so good. Tempting. Alluring. 

A new ache was beginning to form in his mouth, and he didn’t care. Jackie brought his hand to his mouth and dragged his tongue along it. That rich iron taste of blood felt like a blessing, just barely scratching at satisfying his need. 

“Dude! The hell!?” Jackie heard the shout. Heard the disgust in their voice, but he didn’t hear them. He didn’t hear anything anymore. Didn’t hear the screams, didn’t hear the cries of fear and comments on his body. All he could focus on was the blood. That sweet, delicious, precious blood that was going to waste as it fell to the ground. 

Jackie’s body started moving on its own, sights only on the man bleeding. Newfound instincts took over as he caught the man, tearing at the collar of his shirt to expose more of his neck. He could see the pulsing of the vein, knowing that more blood was hiding from him and that all he had to do was-

Jackie bit down, sinking fangs into the flesh, popping through and opening the thick vein, and allowing mouthful after mouthful of blood to be sucked out. Each swallow filled Jackie with a comforting warmth, holding him, embracing him, finally getting that need to calm down, to give him back his strength. 

The man could only cry, helplessly punching at Jackie, begging, pleading to be let go. But he was trapped, hits getting weaker and weaker, and Jackie drank and drank and drank. 

Until there was nothing left. 

Nothing more came out. 

He was dry. 

Jackie dropped the body and gasped for air he didn’t need anymore. 

He swallowed the lingering taste on his tongue, and as he calmed, reality sank in. 

“S-Sir?” Jackie squeaked out. “Sir…are you…sir?” He saw the emptiness in the man’s eyes…in the corpse’s eyes. “I…did I…” 

His hands were caked in blood. He could feel it rolling down his chin and neck, soaking the collar of his hoodie. Jackie took a step back, believing that something was squeezing his throat with how tight his chest was. 

“N-No…No, I-I didn’t…I…” Jackie fumbled and fell back, eyes never leaving the body. “Sir?” He tried despite knowing the truth. “Sir, please. Sir, get up.” 

If the man moved, then it didn’t happen, right?

He didn’t-

He didn’t kill him…

Right?

“Jackie! Jackie!” Chase’s voice called from further away, searching for his friend. “Jackie!” 

“I-I was…I was just hungry.” Jackie whispered to himself. “I…please…please.” He didn’t know who he was begging to. He just wanted someone, anyone, to listen. To help him. 

“Jackie!” Chase’s voice was louder, getting closer as he finally found him. “Jackie are-oh, fuck!” He shouted at seeing the body. 

“Ch-Chase?” Jackie looked up, a tear rolling down his cheek. “I didn’t...I didn’t mean to.” 

“Fucking hell, Jackie.” Chase breathed out, not knowing what else to say yet. “Fucking hell.” He repeated and crouched down. “Are you hurt?” He asked, noticing the blood on him. “You…dude.” Chase’s thoughts shifted when he saw the red in Jackie’s eyes and the fangs stabbing into his lower lip. 

“Help.” Jackie’s voice cracked, and he wrapped his arms around Chase, hugging him and trying to hide from what he’d done. From the life he took. “I couldn’t-I couldn’t stop.” His explanation was muffled, body shaking like before but from his own sobs this time. “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t. I-I swear. I swear I didn’t.” 

“It’s okay, man, it’s okay.” Chase hugged Jackie back, glancing over at the body before quickly looking away. “We’ll get this figured out. We’ll call the others.” 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Jackie continued his cries. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry.”

[dextixer]

The fandoms unfathomable arrogance in demanding how RWBY should be revived

As some of you might know Dillon Goo has expressed interest in acquiring and working on reviving RWBY from its current state. He is a very talented animator who has worked with Shane Neville for quite some time now and released animations that were even shared on our subreddit. Even GLITCH animation studio has expressed a passing interest in Dillon Goo talking about RWBY.

Regardless, this has of course received a positive reception for the most part, but it did not take long for detractors to come out of the woodwork and take issue with possible involvement of Shane, and saying things like "If CRWBY isnt a part of this, im not interested" "If CRWBY isnt in this, Montys vision is ruined.

This is a rant against those people, warning, high amounts of sodium ahead

I have seen many people say that if anyone ever aquires the RWBY IP, that CRWBY should then HAVE to be hired or these people will NEVER support the projects in question. They say that its because people like Miles and Kerry know "Montys Vision", that they know what he wanted and thus without them, RWBY would not longer be RWBY.

Let us be very clear here you entitled shits. You dont have much of a choice. RWBY is dead, its laying down on the fucking medical table, its heart is no longer beating. Its clinically a corpse. Who the fuck do you think you are to make demands of any kind of revival the show can get? You are not in a position to choose or demand anything, you either accept any kind of revival of RWBY, even if its not perfect in your eyes (Welcome to the shoes of the critics) or you quit and let RWBY die.

But let us fucking remember that many people in the fandom were gleefuly saying that they will support RT and RWBY when it was revealed how mismanaged RT was and how they abused their workers. I saw multiple people go and say "Yeah, this sucks, but i will still support RT because i want RWBY to continue". We had multiple threads in r/RWBY saying to support RT so that RWBY would continue and even moralizing that people who engage in piracy are just selfish people.

You were willing to kneel before an abusive corporation and open your wallets to it without fucking question to keep RWBY going. But now when there is a possibility that RWBY might continue on and just MIGHT possibly do so without CRWBY (Which is not even a guarantee). You throw in the fucking towel? THIS was your fucking red line? CRWBY not working on the show?

At that point, just be honest and say what you really believe.

You are fucking DICKSUCKING Miles and Kerry as if they were the ONLY ones working on the show alongside Monty and know his "vision". Well, let me ask you then why in the fuck do you put so much effort in shitting on Shane huh!?

Its always "Oh, we need the people who worked with Monty" but EVERY SINGLE FUCKING time i go on twitter right now i see someone whining or being worried about "Well, but what about Shane".

Shane worked with Monty from the very fucking start! When he was eventually booted out of the company and made his open letter, most of the things in that letter were then confirmed MORE AND MORE with each passing year! He cared about Montys vision so much he was willing to call out RT before ANYONE ELSE! And we know for a FACT that MK did not follow the "vision" because the things that Monty and Shane worked on for Volume 3 were not used in Volume 3 and were then reused in later volumes.

I repeat, NONE of you shits cared about Montys "vision" nor do you genuinely care about it now. What you care about is CRWBY. What you care about is the parasocial relationship between you and creators of a show you like when it panders to you.

Because Shane was there from the very fucking start. And now hes the fandoms fucking Satan who the fandom tried so fucking hard to demonize over the years. Didnt care about Montys vision then did you!?

Oh and by the way, didnt we hear for YEARS now that there is a RWBY bible? That everything in RWBY is planned? That we had an outline for like 11-13 seasons!? Well if there exists such a bible, who gives a shit if CRWBY is involved in any kind of Volume continuation. If the bible exists anyone with skill and interest can read it and create what is meant to be created!

Of course unless the bible has always been a crock of shit fed to the fandom to try and pretend that the show wasnt writen by the fucking seat of its pants. (Which it WAS!)

So let me end with this.

Miles and Kerry are not gods. They are not angels. They are not perfect beings and bearers of the "Word of Monty" they are WRITERS! And just like with ANY part of CRWBY, the companies that might want to remake RWBY or write Volume 10 can choose to NOT take them onboard.

And that is FINE!

I do not mind if people wish or prefer that CRWBY were involved with any kind of RWBY continuation. What i fucking hate is this hypocritical DEMAND to keep CRWBY on board or otherwise "Its not real RWBY". Because i will repeat for the third fucking time.

The Fandom seems to not give even a single solitary fuck about RWBY, they seem to only care about CRWBY.

[igotanidea]

You're losing me : Nikolai Lanstov x f!reader

Based on Taylor Swift song "You're losing me" (I used some lyrics, all credit goes to the queen :) : Reader agreeing to nikolai's plan about marrying alina but when he married alina they started growing apart and she could sense it but nikolai was too busy (with alina?) to realize so she talked to nikolai and he did listen but he still did nothing.

I changed the "marrying" part to simple enagagement, since they never really married.

Sorry it took to long, hope you'll like it @cat-of-nightmares @marsconer

***

„I don’t understand.” He said

„I know you don’t.” she sighed deeply, facing the window and looking outside not ready to look him in the eyes. She knew exactly what was hidden inside them. Pain. Fear. Confusion. And endless amount of love, regardless of the situation they found themselves in.

“Y/N…..”

“It’s fine Nikolai. It really is fine. I shouldn’t be here anyway. I got a commander meetings to attend to in a few minutes and given the fact I am presiding I really cannot be late…..” she moved towards the door but he grabbed her wrist and spun her around.

“Come on, I deserve better than this.” He pleaded for any explanation on her side “tell me.”

“Kolya…. You should know by yourself…..”

“Is this because of me getting engaged to Alina? Why bring it up now? You knew the plan all along. It’s not like I left you in the dark….” He took a step forward, fighting to meet her gaze, but she wasn’t the one to relent easily instead turning her head away. And that stung.

“Yes, I did, I knew. But what I didn’t expect was for you to grow so …. distant towards me. I know things changed between us and we cannot be as close as before, but you barely speak to me. You avoid me. You always find something to keep yourself busy. It’s like I can’t even get within ten feet from you because you just keep running.“

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, Nikolai.  You do. How can you not see it?” she managed to say with the broken voice  “tell me,  why do I have to ask for an official audience with you?  Why do I have to use my position as commanding officer to get five minutes of your time? It…. hurts….”

“Y/N…..” he run hand through his hair in frustration, messing them up and Y/N had to fight the urge to fix his blond curls up . As if royal life and choices he was forced to make wasn’t hard enough, now, to addition, he was losing her. And the worst part was that, he didn’t even realize his behavior until she pointed it out to him. “I’m sorry, love. I truly am. Please, don’t leave.” He took a step forward and grabbed her hands in his, caressing her skin gently and lovingly. “Just stay.”

“Give me a reason to, Nikolai.” she whispered “cause Saints, I don’t want to go, but if you keep doing what you’re doing…….”

“I won’t. Promise.” His right hand found a way up her arm, brushed over her shoulder and ended cupping her cheek, thumb running over the soft, smooth skin three. “I want you with me. Don’t ever feel differently.”

“You want me as who?” a single tear fell down her face “cause we both know that what we had before is gone since you got engaged. So…. who am I to you now?”

“You are…..” everything – was what he tried to say, but the amount of pain and fear on her face made his heart clench and he just couldn’t manage a single word. Instead he just stuttered. The silence lasted  for too long and that made her wriggle out of his embrace. ‘Please….”

“I really have to go, Nikolai. Like I said, meeting.”

“Are you denying the prince?” he smirked, trying to get back to his usual smugness, but was too desperate to succeed at that.

“I don’t think that was an official request. Or was it? Were you asking as a royalty or as …..”

“I still love you. I swear. I’ll do better if that’s what you need. I promise. I don’t want to be apart from you.” he almost cried those words out, reaching for her waist and pulling her close to him, cradling her head and stroking her hair.

“Ok.” She whispered, not pulling back from the shelter she had in his arms “I hold you to your words.” The smallest, almost unnoticeable smile showed on her face, lightening up her eyes. Their intertwined fingers brushed over each other’s once more before she moved towards the door, now really late for the meeting. “See you later?”

“Always.” He gulped.

He was losing her.

***

That conversation took place three weeks ago.

And for a moment he really was acting better, finding more time for Y/N, who was still trying to figure out how to act in the new situation. Who to be and how to reconcile her duties as a second army officer, subject to Nikolai and her broken heart.  

When they were kids, Nikolai and Y/N they had those big, fairytale plans. They wanted to be together no matter what, and foolishly believed that a fantasy could be made a reality. But he was a prince and in his own words, being himself( and therefore doing what he wanted) was a luxury he couldn’t usually indulge in. And that only got worse once Vasily was murdered and Nikolai was about to be crowned and rule Ravka as a king. And amongst other things, that meant getting engaged to the sun summoner only to ensure safety of Ravka.

And it hurt.

Y/N could easily understand his duties as a king. But what she could not comprehend was not taking her feelings into consideration at all. One day he just came out of nowhere advising her that he was engaged to Alina.

And that left her questioning herself for days.

Lonely days, filled with thoughts, burring herself with work and duties and simply keeping herself busy just to not think about the fact that despite his promise to act different, Nikolai still had zero time for her.

And she was tired of fighting.  Her heart just couldn’t take it all and it felt like it was slowly giving up on her, not wanting to start, to beat anymore.

One sleepless night she was just wandering around the corridor of the palace unable to lay down and get any rest. Absentmindedly she followed the path she and Nikolai used to walk so many times before, in happier times. Times that seemed so far away now, almost like it was just a dream that never happened. She could still hear the echo of their voices, their careful steps in the middle of the night, when they were sneaking away from their rooms just to be together for a while more. Ironically, completely reverse situation than it was at the moment.

“Y/N…..” Nikolai would call her in another life, hugging her closely to his chest, swaying to the music he only heard inside his mind .

“Nikolai….” She would repeat, hearing her same melody he did

“don’t ever leave me.” His hand would find a way to her chin, lifting it up slightly, meeting her gaze

“I won’t. I’ll stay as long as you’ll want me.” She would whisper

“I’ll always want you.”

And then their lips would meet in the softest, gentlest kiss. There was no need for urgency, they had each other. For good and for worse. Everyone at the court knew, that Nikolai and Y/N were always together. They would hold each other tightly, basking in each other’s warmth and love and care. Pretty much nothing could come between them.

Well…..

Until not apparently and she just couldn’t stop the tears flowing down freely at the memories flooding her brain.

He promised to always want her, but now he was acting so cold and indifferent and always busy.

He was losing her.

***

“Y/N? Are you all right? You look so pale and thin……” Alina was the first one to notice Y/N’s sick look.

“Yes. Yes, I am perfectly fine, thank you.” she lied smoothly

“are you su….?”

“Yes, I am sure. I’ve just…. been thinking a lot lately….. and had some trouble sleeping that’s just it.”

“You worry too much, sunshine. You should relax a bit. How about you spend some time outside the palace? That can be easily arranged.” Nikolai chimed in with his characteristic smile and Y/N’s eyes grew wide. Was he really so oblivious or just simply stupid? How many hints could she possibly throw his direction for him to understand.

“Thank you, moi tsar…..”

“Not until the coronation.”

“…. however I don’t think that time off could fix what I’m suffering from.” she hissed, covering for the despair that crept into her heart. “seems like it’s something that cannot be healed. Now if  you excuse me….” She curtsied and in a heartbeat left the chamber.

He was losing her.

***

“Moi tsar?” Genya entered the chamber when Nikolai was holding a meeting with the second army officers, Y/N included. Normally, no one would dare to interrupt so this had to be something really important.

“Yes, Genya?” he raised his blue eyes from the map, his gaze landing on Y/N for a moment before focusing on the tailor. “What happened?”

“The sun summoner requires your presence. Something about Darkling and the amplifier….”

“I’ll see to her immediately. Y/N, please continue without me.”

She barely found enough strength to nod. The fact was, that all that drama and broken heart was taking a heavy toll on her health. Her heart was getting weak, not only in a metaphorical sense but now also in a real, physical aspect. She was suffering from headaches and nausea and Nikolai just seemed to completely miss this.

But she was not going to show any sign of weakness, slowly getting up from her chair and taking Nikolai’s place at the top of the table. She knew well enough her position as a commander was being questioned and had to fight to keep it.

“As you can see, the plan is to attack Darkling and his army from the north side and …..” she started, her voice shaking.

“You sure you’re not messing up the directions?” one of the male commander threw spiteful words at her “no offence, but is your mental condition good enough to even be here?”

“I… how dare you?!”

“Oh, I dare. Everyone knows king Nikolai only keeps you here because of some old sentiment.”

“Really?” she mocked, trying her best to keep tough attitude “then why does he keep you?”

“’because I’m useful.” The man shrugged “you were only needed where you were warming king’s bed, but now that he got the sun summoner as a bride to be…..”

“watch your words!” she hissed, clenching her fists.

“Or what will you do little whore? It’s not like the King can protect you anymore. Seems like he does not care about you the same way he used to…”

“It’s not true….” She whispered

“Isn’t it?” the man mocked “when was the last time he paid attention to you? Hm? Oh, that’s right. He’s been omitting you even here, while consulting. And you, you little poor thing, though you were actually worth something?”

“I…..” she took a sharp inhale, gathering strength to defend herself but before any words were actually spoken, Nikolai voice chimed in from the entrance.

‘I think that is enough.” The tone suggested that he has been standing there for a moment and heard most of the exchange. He shot one look at Y/N, not sure how to behave.

Say something….she begged silently, her teary eyes fixed on his do something please, just let me know it’s not true. That you don’t think that. Just risk it, please…..

But he did nothing.

Instead, Alina, who was standing right next to him decided to put the commander in his place, not mincing her words, in a sun summoner style defending her friend.

He was losing her.

***

She had family in Ketterdam. Close family that would be more than happy to take her in for some time. And since she apparently had no future in the palace, no real friends, not Nikolai, nothing, the choice was obvious.

Three days after Nikolai’s inaction at the collocution she grabbed her bag, gathered most important things and under the cover of the night, went aboard the ship, leaving her hometown, leaving her past, leaving the people she thought cared about her. On one hand, she was free. Free from the pain, fear, heartache, from being a soldier on the frontline that was always fighting. On the other side, she knew that what she went through, how she was treated by the one man she loved with all her heart would leave a lasting scar.

But he didn’t choose her.

He was losing her.

And yet, still didn’t know that……

***

“Has anyone seen Y/N?” the next morning Nikolai was walking around the palace and its ground, asking everyone who happen to came across about the girl. He just couldn’t find her anywhere, even in her favorite places and uneasiness was slowly started to form in his chest. “Saints, please let her be all right…” he begged the skies. It was just so easy to imagine her lying somewhere, hurt or unconscious. Saints! Alina, Genya and Zoya were right when they were pointing out her bad health of late. He should have paid more attention to her. He swore to her to find time for her, to give her attention and only now Nikolai realized that for the last month and a half he did nothing to even come close to that promise.

“Moi tsar…..” one of the servant approached Nikolai’s distressed figure

“What is it?”

“There’s a letter for you…..”

“A letter?” Nikolai almost jumped, all possible crazy thoughts gathering in his mind. “From who?”

“If I were to guess, my king…… I would say, miss Y/N……”

“Give it to me.” Nikolai commanded, barely holding himself from going at the servant and extorting that piece of paper. “Now leave. I want to read it in silence.”

The servant rushed out and Nikolai, with shaking hands and rapidly beating heart struggled to open the envelope. What happened to her? Did Darkling kidnapped her? Was she hurt? Was she in pain? He shouldn’t even be standing her, while she might have been in danger…..

Well, the truth happened to be far worse than his imagination. And he found that out the second he finally managed to retrieve the words she wrote to him.

….. Every mornin', I glared at you with storms in my eyes

How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?

I sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick

My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick

And the air is thick with loss and indecision

I know my pain is such an imposition

Now, you're runnin' down the hallway

And you know what they all say

You don't know what you got until it's gone

The more his eyes moved on the lines, the wider his eyes were becoming. Breath hitched in his throat and the silent scream got muffled so that only the tiniest whimper got out. Once he read the last line, the letter fell from his hand and slowly landed on the carpeted floor. And the king fell to his knees, grabbing his head, looking like a mad man who just lost his mind, his heart, his soul. Utterly broken.

Stop, you're losin' me

Stop, you're losin' me

Stop, you're losin' me

I can't find a pulse

My heart won't start anymore

For you …….”

“Nikolai?” Alina came from the adjacent chamber and his disheveled state alarmed her instantly as she rushed to his side, grabbing his hands and holding them tightly, preventing Nikolai from hurting himself. “Nikolai, look at me, what happened?!”

But he couldn’t say a word, instead just leaning his head on the wall, closing  his eyes and getting lost in his mind.

He lost her.  

[kevindayscrown]

So I just read that kevin used Jean in order to flee from the nest, and he also knew that by doing so, Riko would get enraged and take it out on Jean, but it was his only chance. Maybe Kevin thought he could help Jean after he got out of the nest. Maybe he thought jean could endure the pain that Riko would inflict on him and find a way to help Jean after that. Maybe he asked Wymack to help jean since wymack knows everything about the nest.

Idk i refuse to believe that kevin did nothing for jean after that incident and if he didn't i'm sure he spent all those days thinking about jean i'm sure he felt guilty every single day of his life

And i'm almost sure that kevin tried to coax jean into leaving the nest. But jean thinks he belongs to the ravens. He coudn't save someone who didn't want to be saved. Kevin also said “I knew you wouldn’t come with me.” So I'm sure he tried to persuade him but jean just wouldn't budge.

nora made him this selfish asshole she hates him i swear lol

i need kevin's POV i'm sure he did try to rescue jean but he failed

Sorry for any grammatical mistakes i'm not a native

I think there is a lot more nuisance that goes behind this. I don't think with what was implied in TSC that Nora made him a selfish asshole.

Let's work with only what we know from Jean's POV; that night, Kevin asked Jean to distract Riko, knowing that Jean would say yes. Kevin told Jean nothing else; he didn't try to convince him to come with him. Does that make Kevin an asshole? Maybe. But also Kevin was indeed well aware that Jean would have said no, and Im pretty sure he didn't try to change his mind. We don't know what was going on inside his head, but it's also safe to assume that Kevin had one goal that night, and that was to just get out of there. Is that selfish? Maybe, if you look at it on a surface level and only if you look at it through the perspective of Jean (though I don't think that if you ask Jean now, in canon, that he'd consider Kevin selfish).

But the thing is that, as right as Jean is in being angry at Kevin for leaving him, Kevin also had every right to escape that night.

I don't think it makes him selfish. Kevin knew that if he stayed in the Nest, he'd either die or left to wither away as nothing more than remnants of a legacy (which for Kevin, it might as well mean he is dead regardless). Kevin made a very difficult choice, and it was difficult not only because he had to leave Jean behind but also because he had to abandon everything he knew. He chose to leave Riko’s side despite having been brainwashed to think that he is meant to be his second, his pet. Unfortunately for the Moriyamas, conditioning Kevin to care about exy and his game so much meant that, at the threat of losing what he thinks is his only worth, he became defiant enough to run away.

Also, we need to keep in mind that something happened between Jean and Kevin before the incident with Kevin's hand; they weren't as close as they once had been. And another thing we need to keep in mind is that Kevin didn't even know everything that was being done to Jean (which I find hard to accept but that's per canon right now).

We also need to keep in mind that you can't save someone from drowning without the risk of taking yourself down too. In the long run, Kevin making it out first meant that he could help Jean later, as it eventually happened. It was the only logical solution. Trying to convince Jean wouldn't have worked, and the Moriyamas wouldn't have been as 'lenient' about losing two investments instead of one.

But yes, Kevin does admit to feeling 'bottomless guilty.' Kevin isn't just some asshole who only cares about himself, despite the circumstances. Even as things are implied in canon, I think Kevin leaving is implied more as "a tragic circumstance that couldn't be helped, the fault for which befalls on the abusers who forced their hands" rather than "Kevin is an asshole who left Jean".

The two don't even argue about it as viscerally as people had expected; deep down, despite the resentment about the fact, Jean probably understands. He doesn't blame Kevin for leaving (at least not at Kevin's face), but he does blame him for sending him to distract Riko. And he is right to do that. Even if Kevin had been desperate and afraid, even if he has all the reasons in the world to have done that, Jean has every right to be mad.

Situations can be nuanced like that, and it's fine. If anything, it makes things more interesting to explore and more complicated.

Though I do agree that a Kevin POV of that would be great to have.

[basicallyjaywalker]

All I Know

Good evening everyone, the time has finally arrived

@someloserinajaywig for you I present, the final fictravaganza fic: Zane angst. Zangst, if you will. I will admit this is not the best bc i'm not super familiar with writing a Zane POV BUT. I hope it is an enjoyable read regardless

Also, I didn't know if you had an AO3 handle but if you do and would like to have the fic gifted to you, lmk!

Prompt: Zane, The Run and Go by Twenty-One Pilots, and temporary amnesia

AO3 Link

Fic under the cut as well!

His throne was a glacier, built with his own powers, his energy, his essence. 

His throne room was the frozen ocean, vast and inhospitable. The only living beings that dared pass through were himself, his advisor, and the guards that made their rounds. Their punctuality was the only way he kept time anymore.

His empire was barren, overtaken by the ice. His ice. His subjects either learned to cope or succumbed to it. Their preserved bodies littered the tundra, a warning spread through whispers amongst the people. 

He was an emperor. A symbol of might, of terror, of strength. He was an iceberg. He was an all-consuming blizzard. 

He dreamed. 

He hated his dreams. He was always in a vast forest. There was always a snowstorm swirling, obscuring his vision. The air was always crisp, and if he focused he could catch something between sickly sweetness and earthiness clinging to the world around him. He was always acutely aware of the absence of something, though exactly what eluded him. He simply always knew there was always an emptiness within the world. 

Sometimes there were beasts with long limbs and hollow eye sockets, but they did not disturb him. They simply passed by, their towering bodies stretching up into the gray sky. 

Sometimes there was someone with him. 

A man with messy hair, white like fresh snow, dressed in the same color. He wore something over his eyes. The emperor felt he knew what they were called, once, but that couldn’t be true. Nothing like them existed in his empire.

Whenever he saw the man, the emperor would just watch him as he went about menial tasks. The man spoke, but the emperor couldn’t hear him, as if wind was constantly rushing right past his ears and drowning everything out. 

The emperor awoke from these dreams agitated. He tried to get his advisor to tell him who the man was, but he insisted he had never seen nor heard of him before. 

“A figment of imagination, your eminence. Do not let it trouble you.”

And so he did not. His advisor was always right. He had rescued the emperor from certain death after being ousted by the traitor. He restored his throne. He reclaimed his throne room. He returned the emperor to his glory.

---

Zane still had those dreams, even after his return. 

They weren’t uncommon before his tenure as the Ice Emperor. He often dreamed of his father and him wandering the Birchtree Forest where they lived. However, something felt wrong about the dreams he had during and after his time in the Never-Realm. He couldn’t explain it. It was like watching a different cut of a film he’d seen a  million times before. There were details missing, but he couldn’t remember them. 

He tried to reach into his memory banks for them, but was met with nothing. The previous version of his dreams didn’t exist anymore. All that existed was the incomplete, glitched version.

Every time he woke up from that dream afterwards, his face was wet. He hated it. He missed something that seemed to have never existed. More than that, he knew, he hated that he felt like it was his fault for forgetting. His own memories were obscured by a horrific episode of megalomania in which he had no choice. At least, that’s what the others said. Truth be told, Zane tried very hard not to dwell on the thought too much. He wanted to imagine he was forced into that role by the manipulation of Vex, but it was fifty years. He was a conqueror, a destroyer, for fifty years, and never thought anything of it? He’d crushed dissent at Vex’s suggestion, but it was still him who brought the hammer down. He froze the changelings because he was worried they would usurp him. Did it matter that Vex told him a lie and he believed it? Would it have been different if they did want to usurp him, destroy him? 

Perhaps that was why he tried not to delve too deep into his memories of that time. They remained only because he couldn’t wipe them without wiping everything else about himself, but sometimes he wished he could. Originally, his father built him with his memory switch to provide that fresh start, to allow him to forget inconvenient histories like his father’s death and their life prior. He built it to protect Zane from pain. He must’ve believed it was worth the cost, since he refused to remove it despite Zane’s request upon their reunion. At the time Zane believed it wasn’t worth it to avoid the pain if he had to forget all the good that came before, but sometimes, in the dark and cold nights where he couldn’t sleep because of the visions of Ice Samurai and innocents encased in bergs that plagued him, he wondered if his father was right. 

Then he would remind himself of his friends. He thought of Pixal and her warm smile, Jay and his neverending bad puns, Kai and his fierce loyalty, Cole and his firm reassurance, Nya and her cunning wit, Lloyd and his unconditional love, and Master Wu’s constant support and guidance. He thought of them and he knew he could never forget. Even if he could build a new life with them, flip the switch, remove it, then make up some grand lie about what happened, those memories were irreplaceable. 

The unfortunate consequence of wanting to remember his friends meant he had to remember every time he failed. 

He had to remember finding Pixal disassembled in the labyrinth beneath Chen’s Island.

He had to remember when Cole fell off the Bounty and into the uncertain shadows of the Oni invasion.

He had to remember Lloyd’s face as he begged, pleaded with Zane to remember who he was.

Every time he failed and someone got hurt. Maybe that was another reason he couldn’t just forget and start over. They couldn’t just reset. They still had to live with the consequences. 

So Zane would lay there in the morning, face wet with tears. If he was unable to forget, how come he couldn’t remember? His father’s voice and the look and feeling of his home when he was young were fading. What was the point of having a computer for a brain if it just lost memories like a normal brain?!

Then one night, he ended up in that place again. His home. 

Tall birchwoods towered into the cloud-speckled sky. Small rays of sunshine peeked through gray clouds, turning patches of snow on the ground into clouds themselves. Dr. Julien sat on one of these patches, with Zane beside him, shaded by the skyward stretching trunk of a tree. He could hear animals going about their lives around them. Squirrels scuttled through trees, cardinals flew through the air, and even a few bees came up and settled on the sparse greenery around them. 

Zane heaved out a single word. “Father.”

“Hello, Zane, isn’t it such a pleasant morning?”

“Father, it’s been so long.”

The doctor tilted his head. “What do you mean? I only left you and Falcon alone for a moment.”

“No, it’s that… Never mind. I simply missed you.”

“Well, that is sweet of you. I’m glad you decided to join me. Spring is almost here, you know. It’s always nice when a bit of life returns to this place. The primrose will be blooming soon.”

“Yes…” Zane took a deep breath. “Father?”

“Yes, Zane?”

“May I ask you something peculiar?”

“Of course, son. What’s on your inquisitive mind today?”

“What should I do if I ever start to forget things?”

He paused. “What do you mean?”

“I mean if years go by and I forget days like this, where we both sat together and talked? What if one day I forget your voice or your face? What if one day I forget… you?”

“Well… that won’t happen for quite a few more years. Why does it worry you now?”

“I’m simply curious.”

Dr. Julien hummed. He pulled his glasses off and painstakingly cleaned the lenses. Zane locked onto his every motion, inscribing it into the artificial synapses of his mind. If he knew how to in the dream, he would motion capture the process so that he could recreate it. 

“I suppose it’s something we all have to deal with. Our brains can only hold so much information. There are days I find myself slowly forgetting the details of my friends' faces, the voices of those I loved…”

“So what do you do?”

He shrugged. “There is nothing you can do. You can swear to yourself you will never forget, that you will commit every minutiae to memory, you will remember a person or place or story over and over until one day it’s simply… gone. I suppose that’s why they invented photographs. You can never forget if it’s preserved, but even those will fade over time, or you can forget the when and why and who of their taking. There are photos in my scrapbook of people I know I once knew, but whose names I can no longer recall… Zane? Are you alright?” Julien reached over, turning his son’s face and seeing the fresh trails coasting down his cheeks. He wiped them with the sleeve of his white overcoat. “I’m sorry, son. I didn’t mean to upset you. I believe I must’ve gotten too wrapped up in my own melancholy.”

“I don’t want to forget you, father. Never.”

“Zane…” Dr. Julien shook his head, his deep brown eyes full of softness. “One day, you will, and it will be okay. You may forget the details of my appearance, or all of our memories together, but you will always remember who I was to you. You will always remember your father.”

Despite the fresh tears still replacing the old ones on his face, Zane nodded. “You will always be a part of me.”

“Yes, I will, son.”

Zane woke up, the wetness of his face following him to consciousness. He sat up, wiping his tears with the sleeve of his pajamas. From the half-closed blinds, a beam of golden morning light shone directly on his bed. 

“I will never forget, father.”

[swallowerofdharma]

Hello🙂 I tried to message you but Tumblr blocked it so I hope u don't mind this ask. I read your reblog, thank u for writing it regarding Yashiro's consent.

Genuinely, I went back and re-read those chapters and can't see anywhere where Yashiro says he doesn't want to have sex with Doumeki. If anything even prior Yashiro asks to blow Doumeki and says, "let's have sex" now that Doumeki can get hard.

Am I missing something here?

Please explain it to me if I am. I am open to being corrected and would like to understand better 🙂

Hello, and thank you for being open to dialogue further. Frankly speaking, I don’t fully trust my own ability to persuade others as sometimes I struggle to explain these concepts in a language that is not my native tongue. But I have tried to.

One post (1) I made analyzed Yashiro’s emotional state, another one (2) further explained how he repeatedly tried to make Doumeki aware of his distress. And he never consented when Doumeki straightforward asked and decided to continue anyway. You can see Doumeki himself doubting his own decision during and after. I don’t know what more could I say, except taking panel after panel and analyzing the whole sequence. Please read the full posts I have linked and then I could try to answer specific doubts you may have. Here are some excerpts.

(1) Yashiro didn’t want to have sex with Doumeki and said so repeatedly. Doumeki has grown on him, behind liking his physical appearance or using him as a substitute for Kageyama: Yashiro truly liked this person and he liked that Doumeki was impotent. Thanks to that, Yashiro grew comfortable around Doumeki and with comfort and safety comes familiarity. When Yashiro discovered that the impotence was gone, he was angry and terrified. They had become too close and now the premise has changed and Yashiro couldn’t trust Doumeki or himself anymore. (…) And Yashiro was trapped in a situation he had tried to escape from his all life: with a person who felt familiar, a person he loved and relied on, in the safety of a home, who wanted sex and was going to do what he wanted regardless of what Yashiro had to say. (…) Doumeki broke him indeed because he broke through the lies/rules upon which Yashiro had intentionally built his entire personality/safety. And he wasn’t ready for it, he specifically said he didn’t want it, he had known all along, he already knew when men before Doumeki tried to make love to him and when he built a strategy to specifically avoid being confronted with those lies/rules. He didn’t love those men. He did love Doumeki though. But once again Yashiro didn’t have a choice. And he was physically hurt and recovering after being shot and knowing his life was in danger outside of that room. He had just discovered that Doumeki lied about being impotent the previous time he touched him in the car and before that. It was probably the worst timing possible for making love. At some point Yashiro grew resigned and even reciprocated a little, reaching for Doumeki, caressing his face, and he even reassured him before he fell asleep. There were words that Doumeki said that Yoneda didn’t disclose fully, choosing instead to immediately took us in the flashback with Yashiro.

(2) The difference between giving consent and reciprocating vs submitting in silence because there wasn’t really a choice is huge for me. And again, I am considering the mental state of both people and I know Doumeki isn’t being cruel on purpose, but you must see how Doumeki himself understands that Yashiro hasn’t really consented, because he turns him around, looking at his expression and he apologizes. (…) Doumeki expresses his wish out loud, and to this Yashiro explicitly answers, asking him in no ambiguous terms to stop. Doumeki keeps pushing, undressing and kissing Yashiro, who asks him to stop again. Doumeki asks for Yashiro’s consent again. It is significant that he pauses here again, this time there will be penetration with male genitalia: an act that is broadly and unequivocally recognized, and can’t be written off as foreplay. To Doumeki’s request for verbal consent, Yashiro responds by pushing down his face and raising his hips: not consent but submission. This is double painful because he gives up protesting or resisting his own desires, but his physical desires have never been something Yashiro knew to trust. This isn’t by any means what Yashiro wanted.

Take into consideration also that some of us have been educated and are living inside an insidious rape culture that aims to grant less power to selected individuals: women, lgtbqa+ people, including asexual people in the umbrella terms, people with supposed diagnoses of various mental illness, history will tell how legitimate that will be, people of color and disabled individuals.

“Rape was redefined as a violent crime rather than a sex crime, and its motive redefined from desire for sexual pleasure to male domination, intimidation and control. Rape also began to be reexamined through the eyes of the victims rather than the perpetrators”. [From the Wikipedia entry on rape culture with further notes and references available for verification].

See also:

“Corrective rape is the use of rape against people who do not conform to perceived social norms regarding human sexuality or gender roles. The goal is to punish perceived abnormal behavior and reinforce societal norms”. [From the Wikipedia entry on corrective rape with further notes and references available for verification].

As for the post I wrote earlier today about modern romanticism and romance as ideology, you can try for example In The Name of Love: Romantic ideology and its victims 

This chapter discusses the basic tenets of romantic ideology — love is all you need; true love is forever and conquers all; true lovers are united; love is irreplaceable and exclusive; and love is pure and can do no evil. Ascribing to this ideology, the chapter suggests that love is comprehensive, uncompromising, and unconditional. Furthermore, eternal love and self-sacrifice are used to legitimize whatever is done ‘in the name of love’.

I formed my own ideas of the subject and I have not read this book myself, I just briefly searched the web for a starting point in English language. I have several years of experience of observing people of various generations, not all women, taken by the romantic interpretation of love, reading what they were reading and reflecting critically on this topic, but really I don’t intend to write my own essay about this subject. For people who followed me recently, please check the pinned post: my analyses are mostly from a cultural studies perspective that aims to understand authors and their works in the context of their time and place and not based on literary genres, tropes or readers’ expectations.

Hope I am being useful and transparent in what I do. I don’t have any investment in bashing characters or people, nor in ruining your enjoyment of the story. My goal has always been broader understanding, respect for the cultural dignity of manga and the promotion of empathy.

[problemswithbooks]

The 6 chapter epilogue moves to 'end' the Tododrama this chapter leaving a divided fandom...

For me I think that given the story the Todorokis have had up to this point it both makes sense and is the best we could have hoped for. I'm not one hundred percent happy with it, but I defiantly don't view as negatively as a lot of people seem to.

First off Touya dying makes sense and this is perhaps harsh but I hope he does. People theorizing that the mysterious Tenko like figure is Shigaraki and he will heal him and the rest of the LoV with his restored Overhaul powers is insane to me. With only four chapters left idk how that would even be covered or concluded, since even if they were healed they would all still be put in prison--it wouldn't erase the fact Touya killed 30 innocent people by his own omission. So, how Hori would cover that kind of plot in a cohesive way in four chapters is beyond me. It's pretty much people wanting a worse story because they want their favorite character to live.

Also, I'm a bit frustrated that yet again people are acting like Enji should die instead and making wild accusations based on nothing. Namely that Touya dying supposedly soonish negates Enji saying he'll watch him and his death will let him off the hook so to speak.

Enji has shown that he really loves Touya and feels immense guilt and rightful responsibility for how he treated him and his the rest of the family. Touya dying doesn't suddenly heal his permanently crippled body or give him back his Hero job. It will only make him feel worse. Also it's not as if once Touya is gone he'll ignore the rest of his family either. He still owes them as well, and will probably try to help them in whatever way he possibly can.

People acting as if Touya's death will free him or that afterwards he'll go on with his life completely happy and forgetting about him is just not in any way accurate to what we've seen of his character.

The other thing I've seen floating around is the idea that if Enji had been killed off during the first PLF War, Shoto would have saved Touya and the family would have been happy in the end. I don't think that's true. I will admit I'm bias because I like Enji and I'm not a fan of Touya, but given how Hori seems to have delt with the LoV and villains in general (unless he pulls a 180 and heals them last min) I think Touya was always meant to end up dying slowly in a hospital or get some other bittersweet ending.

BNHA is not grimdark by any means but it is not the idealistic manga of the past like Naruto. Hori punishes characters that make bad choices no matter how understandable or even shitty the choices they had were. Aoyama, despite helping defeat Afo, being a child and under the threat of death to him and his family, still drops out of UA because he feels he still has to earn his place there. Bakugou dies and his heart and hand will never be the same, while also having to deal with the guilt of Izuku loosing his Quirk (if that sticks). Enji, even though trying to change and atone for most of the Manga's run is still left permanently crippled, the job that meant everything to him, lost, his legacy gone.

For Touya who killed so many people without care, only to get back and his father. Who plotted to kill his little brother despite knowing he was abused. Not caring if his plans got his other innocent family members killed. After everything we've seen with other characters who did far less wrong and tried hard to amend those mistakes getting harsh consequences, I doubt it was ever the plan to have Touya sitting at the table with his family eating his favorite food with a smile, regardless of Enji being alive or not. To suggest that Hori only had Shoto fail because Hori needed Enji to be involved just isn't true. If Hori wanted to give Touya a happy ending he would have--many fans have already come up with how that could have happened even with Enji still alive.

The only criticism I agree with is Rei's ending. You can defiantly read how she wheels Enji around and answers his phone as them being back together or in the very least her becoming his caretaker. Now, That might not be the case--she could just doing those things because they were both going to see Touya and she's just helping him out that day, while they actually live separately, with Enji having a paid home assistant that couldn't or wouldn't go with him to see Touya (because of the stigma or visiting regulations). The issue is that we just don't know for sure and Rei has been shafted pretty badly.

That said, I wasn't expecting much from/for her anyway. I think getting a little blurb about what she was doing like Natsuo and Fuyumi did would have helped, but I sort of doubt Hori had any idea what to do with her character outside being Enji's abused wife and Shoto's mom. With him rushing to get these last chapters out I'm not shocked he just stuck her in the background, especially when Enji and Shoto as secondary characters needed the screen time.