#but re 2 and 3 pretty much take place at the same time

[lullabyes22-blog]

First of all, I just wanted to say how much I love your Arcane fics. I’ve been following FnF since I stumbled across it at 10 chapters long, and it’s been a wild ride since! Like a lot of people I’ve been all over the place with my feelings regarding season 2, but as far as I’m concerned FnF is my season 2 (and 3, 4, etc.) lol. You’re a gift to this fandom. Thank you for sharing your brilliant mind and imagination with us readers ❤️

You’ve answered some what-if asks and shared other Arcane thoughts on this blog before, so I have two questions for your consideration, but no pressure to answer either of them!

1. As a fellow writer, I’m in awe of the scale of FnF and the amount of planning/outlining that must be involved—HOLY SHIT! Are there any elements of s2 that have inspired you as you continue to write FnF? Have you considered adapting any s2 elements into later chapters (beyond what you’ve already predicted), or have you held fast to a specific Vision throughout the duration of this writing project?

2. Not sure if you’ve been asked this in the past, but what the hell would a living Silco’s reaction be to Vander’s hellish resuscitation as Warwick, assuming he isn’t immediately mauled in a confrontation?? Is Singed (assuming he’s the culprit) definitely fired??? This feels like such a MESSY terrible horrible no-good very bad situation for everyone involved lmao, and I would love to know your thoughts.

Aaaaah thank you so much! I'm super happy you're enjoying the story! I've been having a lot of fun with it, and I'm glad so many other folks are having fun with it as well <333

Also deeply honored you'd consider FnF in any way adjacent to canon material; that means so much T_T Especially since my own feelings on s2 are pretty mixed, and I'm not really sure what I would even do with those ideas, except maybe throw them out as a one-shot sometime down the road.

1. In terms of the s2 inspiration, I will say I was not the biggest fan of the plot's coherence/cohesion as a whole (too much stuff going on in too little time, too many threads left dangling etc). However, I was very gratified by the thematic journeys of the characters in S2, as in FnF they're actually following a similar trajectory (except for Silco who is, well, dead), and a lot of the same conflicts and themes are coming up. There was a happy sense of vindication that came from that, like, "Oh, so this was actually important, and not just me making a fanficcy mountain out of a molehill."

I will say though, that FnF has its own pretty airtight-ish plot, with many aspects already sketched out in advance, so I'm not going to go re-plotting things to match s2's direction unless and until it becomes necessary. In some ways, tbh, there's a sense of gleeful overlap, as a lot of the plot beats do mirror one another. (The Black Rose make an appearance by Act VII, there's a greater emphasis on magic and high fantasy going forward, Jinx is in the grip of an identity/existential crisis and Vi is stuck at a crossroads, Jayce has become disillusioned and split with Mel, Viktor has retreated underground and will be withdrawing deeper into his work, Ekko will be the one to snap Jinx out of a critical juncture and save Zaun in the long term, Sevika will take a greater leadership role etc...) All of the parallels if not the outright similarities were pretty satisfying.

As for how that's manifesting, a lot of the major developments and character arcs going forward are largely set in stone, but I do have a few key S2 events/details I've been mulling over in the background that I can see myself weaving into the plot at some point. But the rest is probably best kept as a surprise :>

2. As for the hellish resuscitation, well, I'd be lying if I said I haven't been thinking about that one a lot hehehe...

But long story short:

Singed is 100% fired because there is NO WAY Silco would sanction such a thing - and if it occured in the FnF universe, then Singed was absolutely doing it behind Silco's back and will now face the full consequences.

 As for Warwick himself - he'd 100% retreat to Silco and Vander's little Brokeback bunk in the mines. And Silco would 100% don his old mining duds and dustry greatcoat and go looking for him, because he needs to be SURE it's not just a rumor, and also because he does, subconsciously, desperately want it to be his Vander. And Vander, who has a good measure of the old Vander's memories, and is 100% aware it's not a rumor, because hello: deranged wolfman, will 100% run towards Silco with every intention of tearing him to pieces.

And that is where the similarities end.

Because Vander is too deeply trapped within Warwick's killer shell, and is therefore incapable of having an emotional reunion with anyone, and because Silco is not an idiot and would never go into a skirmish without a loaded gun and an escape route, the end result would be bloody, messy and tragic.

Worst case scenario: both men would kill each other, and in their final death throes, find boyhood memories resurfacing. They'd die in tears, messily and bloodily entwined, but finally at peace with their own demons - which is how Jinx and Vi, teaming up similar to S2, would find them.

Best case scenario: Silco would find Warwick and be forced to try and capture and contain him. He'd enlist Sevika's help and succeed, but when Jinx finds out, she'd be appalled and retraumatized, and convinced Silco is trying to erase her dead dad and supplant him in every sense. She'd go off the rails and have a complete breakdown, and Vi would be the one she'd run to, because Vi is the only person who understands and cares. The sisters would end up teaming against Silco to try and bust WarVander out, and this would cause an irreparable rift between Silco and Jinx.

Cue mass destruction and an epic family feud.

Sevika, who'd be the only person left in Silco's circle of trust, would have to make the call to have Warwick quietly killed in order to save the city from a war, and then lie to Silco, telling him Vander succumbed to his own madness and perished. This would cause Silco's mental state to completely disintegrate. He'd lose what little sanity he had left, and would descend into a pit of guilt and grief.

 Either way, it's a pretty awful tragedy on both sides, and it would take the entire remaining plot of FnF to resolve the fallout, and for Jinx and Vi to find any kind of peace.

So you can see why I've been mulling a lot, but also left it alone haha.

But who knows?

Maybe the story will change my mind, or I'll be struck by some miraculous idea and figure a way out, though I'm doubtful.

Thanks again for the lovely words and thoughtful questions! They really mean a lot <3

[autumnoakes]

oh hey, there's annette on jill's investigation board

[dingodad]

please god i need to know what U think of the whole “jadebloods are all female!” thing because i got into homestuck in 2019 around the time of friendsim and (retching) Lanque so i always assumed they were explicitly intended to be an all-female caste. however, re-reading the comic this year, i couldnt find a mention of it other than virgo and the Space aspect being really feminine, but i think kanayas journey with motherhood is more kanaya-centric than All-Jadebloods centric??

on one hand, it makes sense given that alternia has very real gendered oppression, so what’s better for that than CATHOLICISM?? on the other hand, i always saw kanaya as being transfem coded, because it connects so well with roxy yknow.. homestuck fans love to insist that certain characters just have to be cis women (kanaya, jade, roxy)

(as an aside; was “long hair was butch on alternia” a one off joke? i like speculation about alternia’s fashion opposing earth, lol)

most all of our basis for explicitly gendered interpretation of Alternia comes from act 6 intermission 3, where Aranea tells us that "jade 8loods were also an almost exclusively female caste". so the door has always been open for there to be "some male jadebloods". but it's a mistake to view this as having anything to do with any kind of "biological sex". the whole idea of biological sex among trolls is a smoke screen. the jadebloods' assigned gender at birth is "jadeblood". this is what makes them a feminised caste.

Caliborn doesn't have a clue what biological sex is. Aranea will tell you that there are boy cherubs and girl cherubs, but for your own sanity you need to cast this idea out of your mind: cherub sex takes place between good and evil cherubs - which is determined by their blood - and anything else is just roleplay. Caliborn's attitude toward sexing is that the ones he likes are boys - that's all the thought that goes into it. and that's the mindset we need to be aware of when we delve into understanding troll gender. there are some trolls who have breast tissue and some who don't, but they aren't "mammaries" in any sense, so there's no reason to believe they're actually sexual characteristics of any kind; maybe this is what Lord English chose to base his gender schema on, but the idea that this means there must be "male trolls" and "female trolls" is completely imagined for the narrative convenience of the human reader.

when we read that there are "male-dominated" highblood castes and therefore by implication female-populated lowblood castes, it's not by some coincidence of biology: the highblood castes are male-dominated BECAUSE they are highblood castes. each caste has a role to play in Caliborn's Alternia, and just as the highblooded roles are those of patriarchal domination, the lower castes must take on roles of feminised submission; and in the case of the jades in particular, this means breeding duties. the fact that this also comes with the expectation to wear makeup and pretty clothes is just more roleplay.

so tl;dr what i think of "the all jadebloods are female thing" is that it is very obviously true but in a way more 5 dimensional gender studies way than anyone else tends to mean when they say it

my pet "long hair was butch on alternia" headcanon - which is a joke but in the way all headcanons about alternia should be jokes of some kind - actually kind of relates to this lol. bc i figure that if gendered expectations of female trolls includes working in disgusting underground caverns filled with genetic material, it's going to be practical to keep your hair close to your head where it won't get dirty, in much the same way the feminist image of the short-haired woman became popular in the west during and after world war 2, wherein a lot of women had to start wearing their hair close to their heads to avoid scalping themselves in the factory machinery they suddenly had to start working with. hence kanaya dedicated to her assigned feminine role and wearing her hair short vs. porrim rebelling against it for feminist reasons and thus wearing her hair at a length that would be totally impractical for wading through gene pools.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

The White Rose of Jerusalem ~ King Baldwin IV x Reader

Summary: As a young girl, Y/N had the honour of marrying the King of Jerusalem, just before the healers found out of his fatal diagnosis. Though she had the choice of backing down from a fruitless marriage, she remained faithful to the young boy-King who captured her heart.

Note: I know the chance of people knowing this movie are very slim, but I was long fascinated by King Baldwin IV and re-watching this movie for the N-th time only reinforced that notion; And I’m too hyperfixated to study for exams, so I gotta do this.

Note 2: I have two endings in mind, one with a happy ending, which will be the default one, and another, with an angsty, sad one, which I will be writing under a line and a warning. :) Hope you’ll like it!

Note 3: The lyrics from the Angsty Ending come from the song ‘Luthien’s Lament’ by Eurielle, with some words alternated, to fit the story. Hope you like it, and that you will be compelled to check out her fantastic work! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F3X5CrPn8I

She was just a little girl, not even a decade old, when she was chosen as the most fitting candidate at being the future wife of young lord Baldwin IV, the future King of Jerusalem. A beautiful lad with long locks of gold like a field of wheat shining in the summer sun, and eyes as blue as the celestial azure sky, fair skin, flawless and angelic like that of the most beloved seraphim, and a voice so soft and tender that would put anyone to ease.

Princess Y/N was so nervous - How could she possibly compare to... How could she possibly become good enough to stay around the future King of Jerusalem? Her worries were plaguing her mind so much, that she simply stared at him, with the eyes of a scared fawn, completely forgetting that she was supposed to do a pretty courtesy and speak.

But the boy could see your pretty face as pink as a lovely flower in bloom, from something as silly as nervousness around him; He chivalrously offered his hand for her to take, and he guided her away from the wave of adults they were surrounded by, and outside, to the lush gardens of Jerusalem where there was nobody to bother them. He hummed idly and scanned the place, before abruptly stopping in from of a bush, and cut a single white rose, which he de-thorned and put in her hair. “There, a beautiful flower, for a beautiful lady.” she couldn’t help but cast her eyes down, unable to meet his. “You see, out of all the flowers in the world, I think a white rose fits you best.” he smiled down at her. “Do you know their meaning, My Lady?” Y/N began biting on her bottom lip, whilst her fingers were anxiously fidgeting and picking at one another. “Forgive me for my rudeness, Your Majesty. I did not mean to disrespect you with my silence and awful behaviour.” The young lad tilted his head to the side in confusion, before reaching out to her hands, holding them dearly. “You have not offended me, My Lady. Still, I would like to request you not to harm such beautiful hands. I have never felt anything as delicate as them, not even flower petals.” her timidness was adorable, he noted. “You need naught feel uncomfortable around me, nor abide to such formalities. I would like for you to speak freely - You are soon to be my lovely wife, and I wish for you to become my confidante.” Baldwin could feel her hands tightening their grip slightly on his own. “I am asking again, whether or not you know the symbolism of white roses -- May I call you by your name? I wish for you to do the same in return.” “Y-Yes, of course, Your Majesty, you may call me as you wish.” the boy’s eyebrows furrowed slightly. “Baldwin. My name is Baldwin. Do call me that.” the alarmed look in those gorgeous eyes of hers, that resembled the most precious gems, only made him realise the overly strict upbringing that she had, so afraid to step the wrong way, or do any kind of misdeed, in fear of being punished, or quite possibly, bringing about Armageddon. “I-I could never show such disrespect to the future King of Jerusalem!” the boy let out an amused exhale, before gently raising her chin up to have her look at him. “Y/N. We are going to be married. For you, I will not be the King. I will be your Husband. If the two of us do not trust each other whole-heartedly, then who else can we trust?” Baldwin finally felt a little satisfaction once she finally dared meet his sight, only for her to bow to him deeply, which once again, confused him. “I wish I will one day end up being a person that you can rely on... Baldwin.” the childish smile of glee that the boy held made her heart leap. “I do not know much, but I wish to learn everything. I was limited in everything I was taught, in detriment of becoming the perfect wife and mother, fit for the King of Jerusalem, so much so that I forgot that I am allowed to live for myself.” “Then I will teach you how to live.”

Though she continued to be as shy as ever, barely capable of speaking up, especially to adults, Baldwin was graced with the most dazzling smiles from the young beauty, whom he’d teasingly call ‘My Wife’ with every chance he got. They were so adorable together, and so very in love with each other, that his elder sister, Sibylla, although jealous of their happiness, would often declare them as ultimate soulmates. They were glued to each other.

It was Baldwin who encouraged her to approach the horses and tend for them, and it was his instructors who taught her how to ride, so that they could ride together whenever they wanted to have some fun, by themselves; The young Price could see the remarkable bond she had made with all of the horses she took care of - Only the most gentle person could create such a connection with a sensitive animal like that.

They would write and recite love poems for each other, though the boy was much bolder than her, and would have to read her love confessions himself. In spite of that, she was content with singing for him, which would, in turn, urge him to ask her for a dance, outside, in the gentle moonlight.

Though he wasn’t one for painting, he loved all of the flowers that Y/N would paint for him - She only ever liked drawing flowers of all kinds, and pretty landscapes; And he would hang around all of her most precious masterpieces in his own bedroom.

They were doing everything together, to the point that Sibylla felt a little lonely, but Baldwin became even more enamoured with Y/N during one evening, when he was pondering over a chess puzzle made by one of his instructors; And there she came in, like Virgin Mary herself, brightening up his dimly lit room. She towered for a few seconds over the chess board, and moved a single piece before flicking over the enemy King piece. Baldwin looked up at her, then back at the board, and up again in complete disbelief - Such an easy solution, yet he kept overcomplicating a thousand useless and difficult ideas, only to end up with no outcome except for his own ultimate failure.

The boy shot up to his feet and engulfed his lady in his arms with so much love, kissing both of her cheeks. “You are a fantastic strategist, my rose! You are going to be my most treasured advisor!” “Oh, I could never - I just moved a piece, nothing that great!” but the boy shook his head vigorously.  “Nonsense! I’ve been losing nights over this, and I couldn’t figure it out! If it weren’t for your insight, I would have continued to agonise over it.” he explained tenderly. “Even the wisest of kings need new opinions and views.” “Then, I hope I will continue inspiring you in the future also, and that you will see me as worthy of staying by your side.” the boy could see small tears gleaming in her eyes, though she held the most beautiful smile he’s ever seen. “I wish for nothing more than to see you succeed and be known in history as the best King that Jerusalem ever had.” with a burst of boldness, she embraced her fiance tightly, nuzzling her face in the crook of his neck. “I love you.” “Generations forward will be hearing of the wisest and most supportive Queen of Jerusalem, the one who equally reigned alongside her King; the one so kind and caring that all our people will look up to her.” he smiled tenderly, his hand caressing her soft locks. “Just like the purest white rose, so innocent and beautiful, wise, enlightening, intelligent, inspiring of hope, compassion, peace, humility, understanding, tranquility.” cupping her face, he tilted her head so that he could touch his forehead to her own. “And representing of an eternal love, genuine and unbreakable.” his voice was so soft, so loving. “I love you.”

But this love was soon going to be put to test on one day, when the young prince was outside, playing around with other noble boys, while Y/N was making flower crowns and embroidering with the girls. The boys would pinch each other, and rough each other up, scratch and slap their arms; They made so much noise, crying out, whining, whimpering and yelling from paint, but it was Baldwin alone who uttered no sound, and remained as quiet as the lake.

“My love, you are bleeding!” Y/N rushed to his side, stopping his friends from continuing to play around.  “Oh, is that so? I have not noticed.” he looked down at his arm, examining all the marks left on his skin, and although they looked painful, he could barely feel anything more than a simple pressure. He could barely even feel her touch. “Have not noticed?! Your whole arm is in awful shape!” the girl shook her head in worry before turning around to look for any of his mentors. “Lord Godfrey! Lord Godfrey, please do come over!” once the man stepped in front of them, Y/N explained what happened - From the concerned look that the adult tried to conceal from them, the girl realised he suspected something with a grim epilogue.

The young prince was treated by the royal physicians the whole day, while Y/N remained alone in his room, pacing around aimlessly and agonising over the truth being concealed from her, yet after many hours, when the Moon took over the skies, and the stars were twinkling the brightest, Baldwin was returned to his bedroom. As Y/N tried to run over and engulf him in her arms, she was stopped by Lord Godfrey. “Princess, I know that you cherish the Prince dearly, but I bare terrible news. His Majesty is being suspected of a disease called leprosy. It would be unwise for you to keep in direct close contact, as you would be at high risk of also getting this curse.” Y/N looked up at the adult with tears rapidly streaming down her face. “It’s alright, my dear rose. I value your health and life above all else. If being apart will ensure your safety, then I am content.” “Don’t you dare say such blasphemy!” it was the first time Y/N ever raised her voice above that sweet, comforting mutter of hers. “Am I not your wife? Your soulmate? Your confidante?” she asked in disbelief. “I have promised I will be staying by your side, until the end of times - The amount of years matters little - But there is no life worth living if you are not in it. I would much rather live a short life, and be able to support you for as long as God may keep you on this Earth, than live a long life, cursed with not being able to see you again.” Even a hardened Lord like Godfrey could feel his heart trembling with emotion at the loving confession from the young lady, who fell to the ground and hugged the boy’s legs. “Please, my love, do not drive me away from you, unless you grow to hate me, and should I ever be so awful that I may make you despise me so, then may God strike me down where I stand, for I could not bare to be torn apart from you.” “Y/N, my love, please, never kneel before me. Out of all the people that I may be reigning over, you alone, shall never kneel.” Baldwin had to gulp down his emotions, though he felt light-headed from such a bold and heart-wrenching confession, and he helped her get up. “I do not want to give you this wretched curse, but I would be a liar if I were to say I were not selfish, for I want to hold you in my arms forever, just as before.”

The realisation that half of his right arm and the hand were completely numb completely shattered his father’s heart, and he had the best physicians, maesters, priests and what not to treat him with oils, ointments, poultices and even charms, yet nothing worked. Though Baldwin had quickly gotten used to the idea, Y/N continued being in denial, and took over most of the physicians’ work, entirely, from then on. She was his wife, and she wanted to take care of him for as long as they had together; She simply loved him so much, and this disease was killing her, more than it did him. Such an intimate thing, touching his skin, cleaning it with herbs and oils every morning, lunch and night before sleep, and she would wash his feet and hands, just like Jesus did to all of his apostles in the Bible. Baldwin felt himself wanting to cry - The love of his life shouldn’t feel compelled to take care of him like that; That’s what servants and healers were for; Yet all the same, he felt so grateful for having someone who loves him so much...

But with so much love, comes the uncertainty of the future, and when he stops being the beautiful Prince that he is now, and becomes blind, disfigured, and loses feeling in all his limbs, will she remain by his side? His heart will never stop loving her, and although the selfless part of him hopes that she would run away and find someone better, some handsome knight or lord to take care of her, someone healthy and with many decades ahead of him... He was still human, and he was selfish. He wanted those few years he has ahead of him to have her by his side, until he does not open his eyes to see the daylight again.

Years passed and tragedy struck Baldwin and Sibylla, once their father died and the young boy of thirteen had to be crowned. A mere boy of thirteen, forced to become the ultimate leader of God’s Kingdom of Heaven, with Raymond, count of Tripoli’s help through his regency, and the unshakable support of his wife.

Baldwin and Y/N stood straight and tall, with the grace and elegance befitting the King and Queen of Jerusalem, though the pressure was weighting heavy on their shoulders, and the lives of so many people, and their Holy Land, were in their hands. The archbishop stepped behind Baldwin and did a cross-motion over his forehead and said a prayer, before putting the crown over his head. “Behold, your rightful King and heir to the throne of the Kingdom of Jerusalem. Long live the King, in prosperity!” people chanted ‘Long live the King!’, though it felt more like mocking, given his condition - Granted, the people were unaware of his leprosy, save for the physicians and the closer advisors - They had to be kept in the dark, at least until his coronation... What will happen further, was a mystery. The crowned Baldwin took the other crown from the pillow and stepped next to his beautiful wife, dressed so formally, with such grace and etherealness, that she looked akin to an angel. “I, Baldwin IV, by the grace of the Holy Spirit, choose Y/N L/N, the woman to be my wife, and with the help of God, she will rule her people with the same love and kindness as always, and continue supporting me wisely. Long live the Queen, in prosperity!” as the King placed the crown over her head, the people chanted ‘Long live the Queen!’ again and again, awaiting for their King to sit on the throne and be given the scepter and  globus cruciger, whilst the Queen was standing up next to him.

That evening, Baldwin and Y/N were finally allowed to formally spend the night in the same room, without earning scrutiny from the religious people around, who were bound to gossip senselessly. Wearing their sleeping clothes, the King was laying on his side on the bed, watching his Queen embroider a handkerchief, with his name written with golden thread. “Are you happy, Y/N?” the boy asked, suddenly. “I am happy that you have not forced me to abandon you. But I am not happy, knowing that your disease is disallowing you to live a normal life.” she answered with such ease, that it sent a shiver down his spine. “You are supposed to answer personally, not with tying your answer to someone else.” Y/N shifted her gaze upwards, a cheeky side-smile gracing her beautiful features. “And what if my happiness is tied to this certain ‘someone else’, as you like to call yourself?” she challenged him playfully. “Then, I would call you a fool in love.” he chuckled, smiling fondly at the girl. “And I would be guilty of the same charade.” “There is no room for guilt in love, my darling. Though duty is the death of love, I am allowed to make my own choices - This liberty, it was you who had given it to me, and for that, I will be eternally grateful.” she explained, placing the handkerchief on the table, before stepping by the bed and kneeling, leaning on the edge, their faces so close to one another. “You could have gone home with your parents, yet you chose to disobey them, and remained the wife of a leper, willingly. That was a silly choice. I am going to make you the youngest widow in history.” he spoke bitterly, and though his hand reached out to cradle her cheek, it ultimately fell down on the sheets, afraid to directly touch her skin, in fear of passing the illness. “And I will regret only not having met you sooner, and the cruelty of God, for taking his most beloved human so soon into his Eden.” Y/N took his hand and kissed his fingers, before placing his palm on her cheek. “But loving you, is something that I would do over and over again, if given the chance.” “I do not deserve you, my sweet rose.” he felt himself breathless, every time he heard her speak such tender words addressed to him. “Remember what you told me, so many years ago, to encourage me to live for myself?” he only wished he could feel her soft touch playing with his fingers so dearly. “Howsoever you are played, or by whom, your soul is in your keeping alone.” she cited him so perfectly, word by word, that is genuinely surprised him, after over 5 years, that she remembered his advice. “Even though those who presume to play you be Kings or men of power, when you stand before God, you cannot say - But I was told by others to do thus - Or that virtue - Was not convenient at the time -. This will not suffice.” “To think that so many years would come to pass, and you still continue to surprise me.” though he wanted to chuckle, this body froze entirely once Y/N climbed in bed next to him. “Y/N -- If you contract this curse because of me, I would never forgive myself.” “The Saracens say this disease is God’s vengeance against the vanity of our Kingdom. As wretched as lepers are, the Arabs believe that the chastisement that awaits you all is going to be far more severe and lasting, once you are thrown in hell. If that is true, I call it unfair, and that God is nothing but a farce, and life, a cruel joke.” she snorted unceremoniously, before laying down and cradling his body flush against her own, his head resting comfortably on her chest, and she was soothingly playing with his hair, lulling him to sleep. “To hell with anyone who can consider you anything less than an angel, for you are the kindest man I have ever met, and Jerusalem is lucky to be under your rule. The way I see it, God must have thought you so worthy of joining the highest angelic ranks, that he was unaware of a faster way of taking you to his side. It is, after all, the prettiest of flowers that we are quick to pick first and show-off to others, before they wilt in our hands, and we throw them away.” “I am truly honoured to have someone like you hold such sincere feelings for me, and speak only superlative words regarding me. I feel better, knowing that you do not think me lesser, or unworthy, in spite of this misfortune.” though his limbs were gradually getting numb, he could feel ever part of her body touching his own. “Y/N.” he called out her name, cuddling into her, like a cute kitten seeking comfort and warmth. “I am happy.” he was deathly afraid that he could somehow transfer the disease to her, but in that second, his senses were drowning in her love. “You make me happy.”

But the boy at three and ten winters, barely crowned and orphaned, had not expected to grow into the respectable young King that he became by the time he reached sixteen years of age, though by now, the entirety of Jerusalem was calling him the Leper King - They found out the inevitable truth of his condition, and despite the wretched ostracizing that all of those commonfolk cursed with this skin disease, he was able to show that a noble, wise, kind and strategic King and deserved all the respect of the world.

The young King had all of his advisors around him, telling him of all the risks, the cons and pros of going to war against the powerful leader Salah al-Din; They were greatly outnumbered, but if they weren’t going to war, the odd were high that Jerusalem would fall to the Muslims. Sitting on the throne, Baldwin felt himself unconsciously raising his hand to his forehead, feeling a migraine creeping, from the overwhelming amount of shouting and unnecessary bickering and arguing between each notable knight, commander and representative of each army under the command of the King of Jerusalem. He wasn’t one to raise his voice, nor did he bother - At the end of the day, men were going to continue being men, and they will continue trying to dominate and overpower each other.  At some point during that abysmal meeting, he noticed the frown on his Queen’s face, clearly irritated that the adults were creating more problems than offering good advice for him, and she could barely keep herself under control not to jolt up to her feet at yell at them to stop behaving like petulant children. Alas, neither of their Royal Majesties were known to raise their voice or even get angry at their subjects; After all, it would be beneath them to stoop so low, when virtue was everything they were supposed to embody.

By the time they returned to their shared chamber, Y/N sighed dramatically, complaining about the unbecomingness of those nasty advisors, whilst Baldwin couldn’t help but chuckle at her reaction. His sweet rose truly was adorable in everything she did. Instead of laying on the bed, the young lad sat in front of his chess board and stared intently at the pieces laid in wait to begin a game. Suddenly, a brilliant idea knocked him into a new sense of giddiness. “My sweetling, would you be willing to brighten my day by engaging in a game of chess with me? I cannot think of anything better that could relax me after such unnecessary stress.” His wife smiled at him with that loving tenderness, as she sat opposite of him and urged him to begin the game by moving his piece first. Baldwin carefully moved each of his pieces so that he would create the ultimate strategy, not only for his own side, but manipulate the girl’s pieces into well thought-out spots. In the end, it was Y/N who won the game, but it was him who started cheerfully laughing in triumph. “Never once have I seen a man so happy to lose a game.” Y/N smiled lightly. “What have you concocted, you little weasel?” “The game we just played, my love, contained my strategy for the upcoming war with Salah al-Din, with my side being the Muslims, and yours, Jerusalem.” he exclaimed with glee, getting up from the table. “Jerusalem will prevail once again!” “How cunning of you! Never once during this game have I thought you would be manipulating me into playing my pieces the way you wanted me to. You are wise and intelligent beyond your years, my love.” she praised him, stepping in front of him, and gently placing her hands over his face. She could see the way his disease was rapidly and heavily affecting him, and that once angelic face of his was now scarred and ulcerated beyond anything that the physicians resoluted or predicted. He had to learn how to guide his horse with his knees, instead of the tugging of the reins, as he lost feeling in his right arm completely, and the disease was quickly afflicting the skin of his other limbs also. “And neither will the Muslims, my sweet rose. They will be unable to retaliate, and will have to retreat back to Cairo.” despite all of the scars, and the way his golden hair was beginning to fall out and lessen, that adorable, boyish smile of his remained as charming as ever, and his crystal eyes were just as bewitching. “Will you please allow me to follow you in this crusade?” Baldwin was tempted, as her enchanting fawn eyes were his biggest weakness; His ration and wish to protect her was above even that, however. “I dearly wish to never be apart from you, but my love, you are the Queen of Jerusalem, and with me gone, there will be no one that I trust to rule the Kingdom. I need you here to rule over our people and keep them safe.” Y/N simply sighed and rested her head on his chest, her arms gently around his body. “As always, you are right, of course - If only that you weren’t! How many sleepless nights of worry will I endure, and nightmares shall plague me, until I receive good news from a dove, and am allowed to rejoice your victorious arrival?” the King chuckled softly, resting his chin on the top of her head, reciprocating her embrace. “How dramatic, yet poetic - I am honoured that you worry so much about me, but you needn’t, that is my oath to you. With your aid, my strategy will prevail, and with God’s providence, I have the courage to mount my horse and lead our people to victory.”

And true to his affirmation, the young King rode valiantly into battle, at Montgisard, and just as the strategy dictated, they gave the Muslims a run for their money, returning to Cairo very much defeated, and barely with a tenth of the initial army. Christianity had prevailed once again, and God had not turned his back on them yet.

“You should have seen me, my love, with the Holy Cross shining brightly with the light of Heaven, leading our army to victory! It was such a fantastic win, that I felt powerful as never before! I felt truly blessed and empowered - Like I will be walking the sacred lands for a whole century, and fighting for our faith!” the young King was laying his head in her lap, as she played with his golden locks; Whenever hair would freely fall off in her grasp, she would quickly throw it away, so that her husband wouldn’t have to see the way his beauty was being forcefully taken away from him by the cruel claws of Death. “If all the most beloved Kings were to live for centuries, our world would be a better place. You, especially, deserve to live for many, many hundreds of years, a prodigy above all else, and loved like no other before you.” his grin couldn’t be wiped from that pretty face of his. “Ah, if only that were true, my darling!” he exclaimed. “Now, I only wish to settle my sister with a new husband, deserving of her. With the death of William de Montferrat, and the birth of my little nephew... Sibylla is all alone, and named the heir to the throne once I am no longer.” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I have to take her with me on public affairs, so that the people would get used to her being the next ruler - But she is so against everything I try to do for her.” “Sibylla is still young and very beautiful, my darling, there is no need to worry over her future husband. I know time might not be on our side, but it is on hers. She will be fine, I assure you.” she leaned down to place a small kiss on his forehead. “I only pray that you are right, my dear. I love my sister dearly, and I only wish her the best.”

That wish, however, was never going to become reality, as come 1180, an adventurer under the name of Guy de Lusignan found his way in the Holy Land, and seduced Sibylla into marrying him. Baldwin was angry as never before, and even threatened to hang him for daring to debauch the Princess of Jerusalem, yet the tears of his sister and mother were enough to break his resolve and agree to this marriage out of love. That was the first mistake he did, and one that could never be rectified. Guy was a man that earned the scrutiny of the whole realm faster than any man before, and became the most despised being in the country, by all, except for his wife.

By this time, the King was turning twenty years of age, yet he knew he wouldn’t reach to see his age change its prefix again. His condition had gotten so severe that he completely lost feeling in his limbs, and he wasn’t allowed to travel. Not only that, but the skin ulcerations were so drastic, and his face was so disfigured, that he had the blacksmith forge a silver mask for him to wear at all times, and his body was bandaged in its entirety, and robed in white, covering himself whole. It was only his wife, Queen Y/N, that was allowed to gaze upon him, as she continued the ritual of bathing his sores and treating them.

Every day of his life, King Baldwin was happy that he hadn’t given his most darling white rose this accursed disease; Likewise, every day of her life, Y/N continued to pray to God that he may spare her beloved husband and cure that curse that afflicted his body and health - He was a worthy King, and most capable; one the likes that Jerusalem had never witnessed before - Surely, he deserved a blessing!

God, however, did not discriminate when it came to life-taking and misfortune. Be it King or peasant, Lord or fisherman, all had the chance to get sick and die before their time, no matter their worth, faith or the amount of good deeds done whilst roaming the earth.

The stress and all the incompetent people that advised him were none the wiser, and they only dug him an early grave, with all their arguing. Not only that, but Sibylla continued to deny her brother’s wish of divorcing that good for nothing scoundrel - The whole Jerusalem was against him and his lack of sense - Were he to become King, he would destroy the Kingdom of Heaven in a day. She was a fool in a love, but not like himself and Y/N. The Queen was right - Duty is the death of love, but the reverse was also available. Were Sibylla a simple woman, a merchant, or simply a living being without any responsibilities on her shoulder, her devotion would have been most applaudable - But she was the heir to the throne, and she had duties to the realm, she couldn’t afford to be so foolish and cling onto a man that would lead not only to her destruction, but to the whole realm falling into ruin!

By the time King Baldwin turned a most exhausting age of merely three and twenty springs, he was beginning to turn blind, as his eyes were incapable of shutting, and his corneas were burning and stinging him so excruciatingly painful, yet there was nothing he could do in that regard. Despite barely being able to walk around anymore, he had to deal with the consequences of that single mistake of allowing Sibylla to marry that incompetent Guy, who not only broke the pact that Jerusalem had with the Muslim by attacking one of their caravan and killing all of the people there, but he also dared massacre Salah al-Din’s own sister. How can his sister not see that this man was only going to bring ruination to their home? How can she continue devoting her life and affections to such a monster of a man, good for nothing and hated by all, whose head is set only on carnage and bloodshed, under the pretext of spreading the Faith and Word of God over the heathens that tried to obliterate them and convert them?

Thus, King Baldwin stood slumped in his throne glued next to the Queen’s; She gently held his hand, their fingers intertwined; He loved the visual of their hands being so intimately together, before all to bare witness at their pure and sincere love that transcended even leprosy and scrutiny, yet at the same time, he hated how he could not feel her hand, and that his own was bandaged over like a mummy.

“Guy de Lusignan and Reynald de Chatillon, with the Templars, have attacked a Saracen caravan.” just as always, the crowd of knights began fighting each other like a bunch of babbling baboons, until some person of authority yelled at them to keep silent.  “It was no caravan. It was an army headed for Bethlehem to desecrate our Lord’s birthplace.” Guy justified his immoral actions under the guise of protecting the Faith. “Reynald, with the Templars, have broken the King’s pledge of peace. Salah al-Din will come into this kingdom -- “ the Count of Tripoli was promptly cut off by the daring fool. Oh, how Baldwin wanted to let go of his reign and live the remaining days of his life in peace, alone with his wife - Yet knowing the Kingdom would fall into this monster’s hands, he could not, in good faith, abandon his people, nor could he see his Holy Land destroyed before his very eyes. “Tiberias knows more than a Christian about Salah al-Din’s intentions.” Guy got up to his feet, walking to the count, towering over him in an attempt to intimidate the old and seasoned Lord. “That I would rather live with men, than kill them... Is certainly why you are alive.” the knight sneered discreetly at him. “That sort of Christianity has its uses, I suppose.” the King and Queen shared a look of annoyance. “We must NOT go to war with Salah al-Din!” Tiberias exclaimed. “We do NOT want it, and we may not win it.” he was the single voice of reason left in that sea of idiots who cried out ‘Blasphemy!’ like a flock of sheep.  “An army of Jesus Christ which bears his Holy Cross cannot be beaten!” some Templar spoke with unbacked confidence. “Does Tiberias suggest it could be?” the scarred man remained silent, looking with disgust at the rest of the knights. “There MUST be war! God wills it!” those idiots were using God’s name as a means to bloodshed. The Queen could stand this complete disarray no longer, and though she missed the moment a servant brought the King a message to read, she shot up to her feet, and shouted at them the people for the first time in her life - Great was everyone’s surprise, especially Baldwin’s, to bare witness of something different than her otherwise honeyed and soft voice that soothed one’s worries. “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.” she recited a line from the Exodus 20:7. “Are you suggesting we are using the name of God with unclean intentions?” Guy looked up with defiance at the woman, whose elegant and royal aura turned cold and stern, like a strict ruler. “I am your Queen, and you will address me as such.” she harshly snapped at him. “You, who are worth less than a worm, and held in no one’s graces, dare create such disorder in the presence of the King of Jerusalem. The disrespect you have shown is punishable by death.” she stepped towards him, head held high, dignified. “To think that all of you will be listening to the poisoned tongue of this viper; That you would summon God’s name, to commit bloodshed - Have you forgotten the Ten Commandments? Thou shalt not kill, it was written on the stone tablet given to Moses - Yet all of you are thirsty for war - Not out of Faith, but out of boredom. You listen to this warmonger who knows naught of diplomacy, of tactics and strategy - Lest of all, of the good of the people of the Holy Lands.” the crowd of knights could feel their blood freezing in their veins from such a scolding. “All of this, in front of the King! Such rudeness should be the cause of you yelling out Blasphemy! Not evident caution and refusal to go to war against an army that is outnumbering our own greatly!” “You talk much, but say very little... My Queen.” Guy taunted the Queen with blatant disrespect. “What would a woman know of war, when all she knows is to was to sored feet of a man that may not seen the world outside of these Holy walls in so long? You call me lesser, yet when the King is no more, neither will your title remain. We are the same - Lucky to have been chosen, yet worthy all the same.” “How wrong you are - For at the end of the day, marriage or not, I will continue being a Princess, yet you will be nothing more than the fourth son, good for nothing, landless and with no title - And most of all, a sinner.” the Queen drew the sword from Tiberias’s scabbard, pointing it at Guy. “Kneel before your Queen.” his eyes widened in shock at such an order. “Are you going to ignore a direct order from your Queen?” Guy’s head snapped towards the King, who waved his hand at the man, as to follow the order. “The Queen’s command is absolute.” Baldwin nodded his head briefly at the buffoon who dared disrespect his wife, not only in front of him, but in front of the whole court. He was glad that someone was putting that idiot to respect, however, he hated that his wife had to step over her kindness and get angry, for his sake. Begrudgingly, Guy knelt down, though he glared at the Queen with those scorned, dark eyes. In a swift move, the woman swung the heavy sword with such ease, ready to behead the man - Only to stop, right as she touched his neck, careful not to injure him. Sibylla was quick to shout at her to have mercy and spare him - That she loves him, and what not. She was ignored. “Do not mistake my past kindness and mercy, for weakness. I may be benevolent, but I do not tolerate disrespect addressed to me, to God, and especially to the King.” she returned the sword to Tiberias, who nodded at her in acknowledgement and approval. “That your head is not rolling to the ground for children to play is my final act of mercy and acceptance towards you. You disrespect the King, your disrespect Jerusalem. Trust me when I say it, Guy - I always mean what I say.” she returned to her seat next to the King, who handed her the message to read. The look on her face said it all - She was both concerned and terrified, not for her life, but for his own. “Salah al-Din has crossed the Jordan with 200,000 men.” the King spoke out once ultimate silence reigned over them all. “He’ll make for Kerak and Reynald de Chatillon. My Lord...” TIberias was the first to speak, walking over to Baldwin in an attempt to help him stand up. The King gestured him to stop, and subtly shook his head, as a way to show he was still capable of at least getting up from the throne. “We must meet him before he reaches Kerak.” the King whispered in his advisor’s ear. “I will lead the army.” “My Lord... If you travel, you’ll die.” the Count of Tripoli voiced the Queen’s concerns. “Send word to Balian to protect the Queen and the villagers.” the King addressed the crowd then. “Assemble the army.” came his resolute order that earned a chant of happy cheers from the knights.

The King did not wait to consult with the Queen - Instead, he went into his room to rest, for on the morrow, he would be marching towards Kerak to create some kind of temporary peace treaty with the Muslim leader. Y/N shared a look with Tiberias. Fear was welling deep into her eyes - She was terrified. The nightmares that kept plaguing her every night were coming to fruition much faster than anticipated. Her husband was going to die. “Tiberias... I know you care for the King as much as I do. Though we both know his mind will not be swayed... Please, do try to keep him away from this journey.” her voice became a weakened whisper. “I cannot bare the thought of losing him so soon.”

Tiberias could feel his heart impaled, yet he was unable to utter a single word. He placed his hand on her shoulder, as if to show they share a similar kind of pain, and he hung his head. Y/N went to their shared room, and seeing her husband sitting on the chair, by the chess board, she fell to the ground, hugging his feet and placing her head on his lap as she wept. “Please change your mind, my love! Do not go to your death, not so soon! You are so young, still so strong -- I cannot... I cannot imagine living without you.” Baldwin sighed, his eyes stinging, yet feeling a little relief from the forming tears that were wetting his dry eyes, and his bandaged hand was placed numbly over her cascading hair, petting it. “Forgive me, my sweet rose.” he spoke with a shaky voice. “I did say I was going to turn you into the youngest widow, yet I did not imagine my condition would hinder me from even reaching thirty years of age.” even his body was softly trembling, in tune with her pitiful sobs. “Forgive me for breaking your loving heart. I was not the husband that you deserved. I was unable to bring you happiness, nor pleasure, nor was I capable of creating a family with you. God had forbidden me from even touching your body, in fear of transferring this curse upon you... He had denied me the feeling of your delicate skin, and a normal life span spent by your side.” “Do not say that!” she exclaimed, raising her head. “You have been more than I ever deserved. You have been more than I could ever dream of, even. I never desired for anything in life, except to see you alive, every time I woke up, and to feel you heart lul me to sleep, as you held me so dearly in your arms. For as long as I could hear your tender voice... Just knowing you were alive... It was all that I ever needed.” she reached her hands up to his face, taking off his mask and revealing the horrific, disfigured visage of the one seraphic boy. “If I could, I would trade all of my tomorrows, just to spend another night with you. I would trade all of my days, so that you could keep on living on, for as long as I would have. I would take the disease upon me, just to rid you of this curse. I would accept even being purged by the divine fires of retribution, if it gave you your health back.” her sight was blurred with the amount of tears hindering her and rivering down her face. “But to hell with God, and with the Faith, and with everything there is! Why must a good man endure misfortune after misfortune, and die young, whilst incompetent, evil bastards like Guy keep on living and thriving so frivolously?! I prayed day in and day out, and I have devoted all of my being to God, but instead of returning your health, he is taking you away from me even faster!” she wailed so pitifully, that Baldwin felt his entire being shattering before her anguish. “What kind of sin have I committed, that I cursed the love of my life as such a tender age, just a little after I have met him?” “You couldn’t possibly think to blame yourself for my disease.” he scolded her in complete disbelief. “Y/N, my love, never think that way.” he placed his hands on her elbows, urging her to raise, only to guide her to sit on his lap. Her slight panic was quickly shushed with a reassurance. “I am ill, not made of glass. If anything, this proximity could only serve to energize me.” Y/N gently held his hands and took off the bandages, revealing the severe ulcerations, the leathery skin and the open sores, red and painful, were it not for the numbness. She kissed his fingers lovingly, before placing his palms over her face. “Were I a mighty Phoenix, I would be able to heal all of your wounds, with the amount of tears I have shed. I would be able to fly into battle by your side and spit fire over our enemies, but also thrill a song of bravery and victory to embolden our army.” she took a ragged breath, stammering over her words. “But I am just a woman, powerless, and foolishly in love with one man, who is dying before her very eyes, and can do nothing but live in fear that he may take his last breath when she is not around him.” “You always did leave me speechless with your love confessions - And that is no easy feat, my sweet white rose. To say that I love you, is an overstatement... Yet God may strike me when I say... I do not love even He, the way that I love you. My only regret is that I was not able to even kiss you, when I was still young and handsome, fitting of a young King. I wish only to make you the happiest... If only life was not so cruel with us.” Y/N leaned down slowly, placing her lips over his own, completely uncaring of her malformed mouth, or the possibility of catching the disease herself. She wasn’t planning on living longer, if he wasn’t going to be alive and hold her hand any longer. “A silly woman, foolishly in love with a silly man, just as foolishly in love with her.” he muttered, gazing at how beautiful she was, even with eyes puffy and sparkling with tears, and skin twinkling wet. 

The King guided his Queen to the bed and cradled her into his arms to cry as much as hear dear heart needed, all whilst playing with her hair, as much as his useless fingers allowed him to, and whispered a string of endless sweet nothings, though he was aware, no word of love was going to sooth or mend her shattered heart, and the fact that his lack of days were the cause of it was a bittersweet knowledge.

On the morrow, the King nodded at Tiberias, placing his hand gently over his horse’s snout to urge it to kneel so that he could mount it and ride towards Kerak, where he would face Salah al-Din and propose a truce. The journey was long and arduous, lasting a whole week on horseback, yet he rose tirelessly, and slept like a baby in the tent, every night. There were no physicians by his side, nor his Queen, to wash and treat his skin damage - But it was fine, he wasn’t going to live long anyway, so it mattered little.

After seven long days, they reached Kerak, the stronghold of Reynald the Idiot, and with the King of Jerusalem in front and the shining-white Holy Cross that brightened up the battleground, the King, dressed the part, rode and faced the leader of the Muslims. 

The two king met, face to face, horse to horse - One, the Splendor of Christianity, dressed in full white, yet with a silver mask and the light-blue tabard of Jerusalem, and his horse was the same, white and pure, as was his virtue and soul. The other was dressed in black, and his horse was black also, to represent his own faith and leadership to his people, but also, his humbleness. The two stared each other in the eyes, siesing each other but, yet it was Salah al-Din who spoke first. “I pray you pull back your cavalry and leave this matter to me.” “I pray you retire unharmed to Damascus.” the King replied, his eyes seemingly unblinking behind his silver mask, adorned with crosses and swirls, to represent his Faith and Love of God. “Reynald de Chatillon will be punished. I swear it.” the man vowed, speaking in a soft, yet firm tone. “Withdraw, or we will all die here.” the two’s silence, as they stared each other up, was this time interrupted by the Christian King. “Do we have terms?” The Muslim leader only had one fear, and that was of the Leper King, who so easily bested him at merely 16 years of age, and heavily outnumbered; Now, older, yet with a frailer constitution, even the ghost of him could send a shiver down his spine; A rival worthy of his respect. “We have terms.” he nodded at him. “I will send you my physicians.” he humbly offered, wishing his rival to remain alive and healthy, for as long as he may. “As-salamu alaykum.” he King of Jerusalem tilted his head down and bowed his hand as a sign of respect, wishing him and his people peace. “Wa alaykumu s-salam.” Salah al-Din rose his hand and replied with the same respect, wishing him the same.

The two leaders of their faith turned their horses around, and Sibylla watched from the safe fortress, as her brother was victorious in avoiding an all-right war, and rode towards the stronghold of Reynald, who quickly ran, disheveled, to greet the King, who gracefully rode before him, and commanded his horse to kneel, so that he may dismount. Reynald offered a courtesy, as the King stumbled in front of him, whipping out a wand from his waist. “On your knees.” he ordered, with such disgust as no one has ever heard him before. Reynald did as instructed without hesitance. “Lower.” he had to be deeply punished for all of his thoughtless actions that served to ruin everything he worked so hard to build for his people. In an exhausted breath, yet still as kingly, he spoke “I am Jerusalem.” with another swift move, he took off the glove of his left arm, and the bandages, revealing a thoroughly maimed hand, along with a golden ring with a large ruby. “And you - Will give me the kiss of peace.” he extended his seeping, untreated, dirty hand towards Reynald, who started slobbering and kissing his fingers without hesitation.

From disgust and anger, the King used the scepter to strike his face - One, twice, and a few more times, until the idiot was on the ground, cradling his injured face.  Though the physical exhaustion took over His Highness, and as he turned around, he stumbled to the ground, and into the sand. It was Tiberias who rushed to support him to stand, along with two guards, that helped him lay on a comfortable couch, as the Count of Tripoli commanded the arrest of the idiot. With a nod at the man, the King was risen with the bed, and carried out, so that he may return to Jerusalem, with the much needed aid, before he may return by himself, on horseback.

Once returned, however, the guards that greeted them started yelling ‘Imposter!’ and claiming the King that led them to Kerak, the King that settled peace with Salah al-Din, their most feared enemy, the King that punished Reynald - He was an imposter, and the real King Baldwin IV was in his study;  The Imposter was quickly immobilised, struck down and roughly brought over before the real King, whilst the Imposter was thrown to the ground to kneel, despite Tiberias and the other knights’ protests and attempts to stop such blasphemy.

Before their eyes, however, the knights witnessed two Kings - One a little taller than the other, and dressed in his normal robes, sitting on the throne and reading; The other, on the ground, just smaller, and with the War outfit on. The King of Jerusalem rose on his feet, startled at the sudden disturbance, and the peculiar sight before his eyes; It would have been almost hilarious, were he not enraged at the guards having been so rough with the Imposter, when he did not ordered them so. “You may release that one.” though the guards looked in shock at the orders, they complied. “Of course, there is no one who knows me better, than yourself. I was foolish to believe you would just remain quiet, at home, where I asked you to be. You fool.” his scolding was light-hearted and tender. “Tiberias, tell me, how did the affairs go?” “Your Majesty... Ergh... Salah al-Din agreed to a truce, and Reynald de Chatillon was severely punished... By... You.” the Count of Tripoli found it difficult to voice out the ambiguous message. He was upset that he did not realise the truth sooner; He had let himself be tricked, and so well. “All of you - You may leave.” the King ordered with a dismissive yet respectful wave of his hand. “But -- My King -- The Imposter --” one of the knights stammered over his words. “There is no Imposter, but a loving Queen who was ready to accept anything may come, to save her husband from a life-ending journey.” the King stepped in front of the Imposter, and taking the silver mask off, revealed the beautiful face of the Queen; The revealed earned an ocean of protests and gasps - How was a woman capable of not only fooling everyone, but of mimicking the King so flawlessly. “Perhaps it is not that you know me best, but that you know me better than even I know myself. Truly, I am honoured, and my heart soothed with honeyed mead, to know that you have gone through such trials, for my sake. Foolish indeed, yet with such positive outcome that I am incapable of feeling anything but happiness.” with some difficulty, he knelt besides her, so that he may pick her hands and get her up. “As I told you so many times, my love, you do not bow to me, for it not I alone, but the both of us, that are Jerusalem.” “My sweet King, I bare good news, for once!” Y/N spoke for the first time since she’s arrived; Though her voice was weak from dehydration, not only was she happy that her quest was a success, and that her darling Baldwin was not upset with her tricking him, but she was also smiling so brightly, so much so that it surprised the young man, as he hasn’t seen her so genuinely blissful since they were children. “Salah al-Din sent over his physicians, and they offered a gift - It is called Chaulmoogra oil, and they said people in India and China use it to treat leprosy - The statistics show great improvement, unlike any other treatment before. That man truly respects and cherishes you as a rival, and a leader, my love.” Baldwin froze on the spot, seeing the woman reveal a rather large carafe that she kept hidden underneath the robes, hanging from the sash. Were it not too hasty to have hope again? A miracle treatment, so suddenly, for him? And even if he does get treated, his face will never recover, and he doubts his limbs are going to feel again. Still, he was unable to refuse her, seeing as it was the only thing that put such a genuine smile on her face, after so long. “Alright, my sweet flower - For you, I shall try any treatment, no matter how revolutionary or eccentric.”

He could barely keep himself standing up, as Y/N, in a fit of euphoria, threw her arms around his neck and swayed him. The treatment made him nauseated more often than not, and he vomited at some points, yet after good weeks of continuous intake of this oil, added with the herbal cleaning and ointments for his skin, and regular walking, his body was beginning to feel a little stronger than previously - It almost felt that he was getting younger. It was a scary feeling, for it was so good and hopeful, that he feared losing it, and in turn, Y/N’s happiness.

As Baldwin began regaining his strength, and to some degree, even the feeling in his arms and legs, and he was properly capable of holding a sword again, he was emboldened to think of a future of his own. First, he asked Sibylla whether he agrees to divorce Guy, especially now that she knows how awful of a man he was - But once again, he was denied - Thus, he was forced to exile this idiot, and with him, his sister also followed. With the timely death of his nephew, Baldwin V, at the mere age of 10, the King realised he had no direct Heir to ascend the throne once he dies, whenever that may be, and as he was incapable of creating an heir himself, and with Sibylla refusing to step up as a Queen, if Guy does not ascend with her; Once again, it fell on poor Tiberias to help out with this matter. He trusted Balian to become a good King, but of course, he wanted to live a peaceful life, as a blacksmith, not restrained by the burdens of a King.

Next, he had to get rid of both Guy and Reynald, permanently, so that there would be no risk of enticing the Muslim Leader to wage war on Jerusalem; Especially as he has him to thank for his unexpected recovery, and for as long as he may live, he will remain eternally grateful for his kindness.

Baldwin fortified the walls of Jerusalem and strengthened the bonds with the armies under him, and kept the Kingdom of Heaven safe. It was a true wonder, being able to stand on the balcony, with his wife’s arms around his body, and watch the starry night illuminating the city to beautifully, and the song of the crickets and toads resounding soothingly through the place. 

Though he was still uncomfortable with letting go of the mask, knowing well enough that people will keep being horrified of his disfigured face, he felt at ease, dancing with his lovely white rose around their room, hearing her sweet giggles, and seeing that beautiful, dazzling smile of hers that captured his heart, from the very first time that he laid his eyes on her.

Baldwin was a fool, so deeply in love with Y/N, that he prayed to God every day not to make him up from this reverie, for he is eternally grateful for keeping his Faith in times of need, and that He replied to him with the greatest gift there was - Not just the treatment, but his Queen’s happiness restored. The glee of a fool in love.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------                                           ANGST ENDING -------------------------------------------------------------------------

Though the quest that Y/N embarked on was a success, once she returned to Jerusalem, she was met with the reality of her husband’s health, which was degrading at such a swift pace, even without the journey made. It was ridiculous, thinking that she went through all of that, yet it aided Baldwin with nothing, save for two weeks of worry over her well-being. What a disaster, she thought to herself, as she returned to her room, her head hung, and discarding the Kingly outfit with annoyance and disgust, as though she was a little brat throwing a temper tantrum.

“I do not have the power to say how worried I was over you, for I cannot help but be so proud of my Queen, and infinitely happy beyond the horizon, to feel your heart soulbound to mine own. I missed you more than the deserts miss the rain.” though he tried to reassure Y/N, he knew he wouldn’t be seeing the change of the seasons.

And his prediction was correct; Soon, he was unable to move whatsoever, and his white outfit was changed with a royal black and golden one; Even his silver mask was replaced with a golden one, and he could only lay on the bed, his eyes mostly closed, and awaiting the sweet release of death.

Unexpectedly, Y/N was came over, smiling, but also crying, holding a goblet filled with honeyed red wine; She sat comfortably over his waist, looking down at him - She looked like a child, with her eyes glazed, and expression slightly dazed - And she took another gulp of the wine. “Oh. Hello, my sweet white rose.” it was difficult for him to speak, and though he wanted to address her unexpected drunkness, he couldn’t. He knew his time was ending, and perhaps selfish, he wished to see her smile as the last thing he’d witness in this world. “What were you dreaming of, my love?” she slurred cutely, dropping the now empty goblet to the ground, her hands placed on his chest, and slowly roaming up to his chest. “How great it would have been, if we were not separated by a curse.” she hummed, allowing herself to fall over on the bed next to him, smiling widely. “We are in the earthly Kingdom of Heaven. Once we reach the Celestial Heavens, there will be no afflictions or diseases hindering our love any longer, and for the rest of eternity, in the afterlife, our love shall continue onwards, transcending this unseen barrier between us.” she nuzzled into his side; Baldwin wasn’t sure whether she was giggling, or sobbing - Yet he was pretty sure she was doing both. “We will be ruling over nothing except our love, and we will have no responsibility, except to ourselves. We will finally be free to live, and to love... And to be happy.” “My love... What was in that wine?” with a lethargic move, Y/N pulled him into her body, his head resting onto her chest.  “What were you dreaming of, my love?” she asked again - The excruciating revelation dawned on him - Y/N had poisoned herself. She could not bare seeing him die before her eyes, she couldn’t bare him dying before her, and her having to endure all the agony of a lonely life, with a shattered heart, never to be mended again. She cared little whether people would find out she killed herself, and she would get beheaded. Her only wish, written, was to be buried with him - Wish that she also voiced to him. “I was back in that summer, when I defeated Salah al-Din.” if he could cry, he would, not only for himself, but for Y/N feeling so heartbroken that she felt compelled to end it all. “Do you remember it? We were only 16.” “Of course I remember. I was so worried for you, out there, without anyone to care for you. I was praying to God every hour I was awake, to keep you safe, and have you return to me. I remember I jumped on you from happiness, as soon as you dismounted your horse. I toppled you to the ground. The Archbishop yelled at me for not behaving like a Queen, but Tiberias pushed him away, so he wouldn’t bother us.” he could only offer a weak, breathy chuckle as a reply. “You are as beautiful as the white rose that I put in your hair, that day, when we met. I am truly honoured that I had the fortune of being your husband. No man ever felt love, as much as I did, thanks to you.” he stole one last good look at her, before settling comfortably in her embrace. “My sweet white rose.” he called out. “Will you sing for me?” “Yes, my love. Allow me to sing you to sleep.”

I seek a man named Baldwin Whom I bid await me here I pledged that I would see him Before he leaves this sphere

This man of whom I speak He gave his heart to me But thence my soul grew weak And at last it too broke free

So borne upon an urgent breeze I travelled to his place Where only one thing could appease The torment I now face

Oh tell me I am not too late To see my love once more For that would be too cruel a fate I beg him be restored

That we may take a little time To bid our last farewell And remember all we shared erstwhile Such joy no one could quell

For never was a greater love Than that within our hearts Once born, forever binding us Through not e’en death we part

Who was the first to ascend to heavens, not even God knew, for they both appeared before him, holding each other so tenderly, looking like the most beautiful youth, foolishly in love with each other.

As in Eden, so on Earth, the two were found cradling each other, though the heart beat that once lulled the other to sleep, was no longer present; Yet a smile adorned both of their faces.  Just as left on the note, Y/N was buried together with King Baldwin IV - The King and Queen who loved each other more than any before, and certainly, any in the future also - The two lovers who could never be torn apart, in life, death, or anything in between.

Up there, however, they were no a pair of King and Queen, but just a man and a woman, fated to eternally love each other. They were just themselves - Y/N and Baldwin - Two fools, so foolishly in love with each other.

[ladykailitha]

The Caged Bird Still Sings Part 12

Welcome to act 2. These are going to be a rough set of chapters for Steve. I hate to do it, but I've got to get him low, to have Eddie build him back up.

If you've been following along to WIP Wednesday, you'll know (or at least suspect) that I'm nearing the end of act 2 and the return of Eddie.

Then I'm not sure how much longer it's going to be. It could be a couple of chapters. But it might be several.

Here we have Jeff teasing Steve and Eddie. Steve decides to spend all his money on movies and popcorn, and at last a wild Birdie appears.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

~

It took a month before Clint Harrington gave up on his crusade to chase his son out of town. That didn’t make Steve safe, per se, just safer. But he took what little comfort in that that he could.

The kids were jealous of the Sunbird, Mike finally admitting that yes, some mysterious benefactor had come in and swept Steve off his feet. He was a kept man.

Steve squirmed at the term. He was going to start looking for work. Just as soon as the dust settled. There was no point in looking when Clint Harrington was just going to come in and throw his weight around get him fired again.

Mike just rolled his eyes when he explained it to the kids, but Max was of the idea to milk for as much as it was worth.

“Seriously, Steve,” Max huffed, “if I could live in a hotel and swim whenever I wanted and order as much food as I wanted, I’d never want to leave.”

He scoffed. “That’s because you’re like ten and actually have friends your age or did you all forget that my dad chased all my friends off?”

“Ooh,” Lucas said clicking his tongue and shaking his head, “yeah, man. That’s rough. And it doesn’t help that this place has one movie theater, an arcade, and a handful of specialty shops none of which scream fun times for teenagers.”

“Yeah,” Will said from the couch, “Jonathan has been complaining about it all summer. There’s Bloomington or Indy, but considering you don’t know which direction your parents went, you’re pretty much stuck in Hell.”

Steve waved his hand at Will. “See? Will gets it.”

So all the kids got their heads together will Claudia and Joyce and tried to plot out something for Steve to do so that he wouldn’t have be staring at the same set of walls every day, no matter how gorgeous those walls happened to be.

Which is how Steve became cinaphile. He started just picking random movies to see at random times of the day during the week. His favorite time to go was Tuesday afternoons before the middle school got out. Not enough time for high school students to evade the place, but later than the moms taking their small children as a way to beat the summer heat.

It also allowed him to find new genres he liked and through all this Eddie stayed his constant phone companion. He loved listening to Steve talk about the plot and how hot the actors were. It was fun.

Steve was also starting to make friends with the rest of the band. He found out who the other person that picked up before thinking it was his phone that was ringing.

“Hey, is Eddie around?” Steve had asked, calling the mobile phone.

“He just stepped out for a minute but he’ll be right back,” the person said. “I’m Jeff by the way, I’m the one that picked up before.”

“Oh hello!” Steve said in surprise. “You’re the other guitarist, right?”

Jeff laughed. “Yeah that’s me. Thanks for not saying ‘the black one’ by the way.”

“Happens a lot?” he asked with a grimace.

“All the time,” Jeff deadpanned. “All the god damned time.”

“That must be shitty,” Steve commiserated. “I guess it’s not quite the same as saying the blond one or the tall one.”

“Yeaaaahhh, no,” Jeff said. “The other two are neutral attributes while being black carries a certain disdain to it.”

“One of the families I used to babysit before this all went to hell,” Steve said, “was a black family and I didn’t realize all the little shit they go through each day. All the snide remarks and sneering glances all the for the crime of existing in the grocery store.”

“Yeah,” Jeff agreed. “Oh wait, your lover boy is back. Hey Ed, it’s Steve.”

“Little Canary!” Eddie said excitedly upon being given the phone. “Jeff didn’t spill any of my secrets did he?”

Steve heard Jeff laugh in the background. “I didn’t know there were secrets he kept... I’m going to have to pump him for information next time.”

‘No, no, no,” Eddie whined. “Not allowed! Shoo Jeffy. Mine! Shoo!”

“Don’t worry, Eddie,” Steve giggled. “You can tell all your secrets yourself the next time you’re in Hawkins.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said softly. “I think I’d like that very much.”

“You’re just a gooey marshmallow, aren’t you?” Steve said with a giggle. “A perfectly roasted marshmallow. Hard on the outside, but all melty and gooey on the inside. Sweet and sticky.”

Eddie burst out laughing. “You really had me going there until the sticky part. Yeah, baby. I’ll be your marshmallow and you’ll be my little Canary.”

“Yeah, Eds,” Steve said, “I’d really like that.”

They talked for a little bit longer before Eddie hummed.

“Steve we have to talk about the last month of the tour,” he said seriously.

Steve’s blood froze in his veins. Eddie rarely called him ‘Steve’. It was a petname like baby, sweetheart, or honey, or little Canary, or maybe even Stevie. But never Steve. “Oh yeah? What about?”

“We’re going to be in Canada,” Eddie continued. “I’ll still be able to call, but only from hotel rooms. I don’t get good service there.”

The ice in his veins turned to lead in his stomach. “So while you’re on the road, you won’t be able to call me?” he asked, his voice small.

“Oh, little Canary,” Eddie said sympathetically. “I’ll try to call from payphones when we stop for gas, but yeah. It’ll be pretty sporadic. But I’ve gotten Chrissy to promise that she’ll take good care you.”

“She still doesn’t like, you know,” Steve said, “she thinks I’m distracting you from doing your job.”

“Which is fucking ridiculous,” Eddie assured him. “I shake my ass on stage and sing and play my heart out. I never skimp on that, and never walk out one meet and greets with the fans. It’s her job to worry, but it’s not your problem. It’s mine. Plus I have my little elf in play who will be plying you with as many little bird gifts I can find.”

Steve couldn’t help but smile at that. He had gotten in addition to the necklace that he only took off to shower, a couple of graphic t-shirts with canaries on them. A keychain as well as one with his name on it. Three little ceramic canaries and a glass one. All brought in by Eddie’s little elf.

“Yeah, okay,” he huffed. “I can’t wait to see what you come up with next.”

“Well, I’ve got to go, babe,” Eddie murmured, “I’ll talk to later. The change won’t happen right away, but I’ll tell you when the date gets closer, okay?”

“Roger that,” Steve said with a sigh of relief. Then they hung up and he flopped on the sofa like a fainting Victorian maiden. In a couple of weeks, he would go back to being as lonely as fuck.

He didn’t even know who the little elf was or why they never showed themselves. All though, knowing Eddie, it was probably just because he thought it was cute. Which it was. It was also a little on the creepy side. He had gotten to know the porters, bellboys, and cleaning staff very well, so he didn’t mind them coming in while he was out or even in the shower.

But a mysterious person whom he knew nothing about? Yeah that was a problem. He didn’t know if they were male or female, how old they were, were they friendly or just doing their job.

To say it drove Steve nuts would be an understatement.

It had been six weeks since his dad chucked him out for making out with Tommy on the sofa and all that time he hadn’t seen hide nor hair of the bastard or any of their friends. It was just then his luck ran out.

He had accidentally spilled almost his whole bottle of shampoo and had to go and get more. He spoke briefly to Joyce and chatted with her about Will and how Jonathan was adjusting to being newly graduated and turned around to run directly into someone.

“Shit!” Steve hissed as the basket he was carrying slammed into his stomach. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

He looked up, right into the green eyes and freckled face of Tommy Hagan.

“Steve!”

“Hey, Tommy,” Steve said with a fake smile. “How have you been?” The unasked question of ‘why did you leave me?’ hung in the air between them.

Tommy reached up and rubbed the material of Steve’s shirt between his finger and thumb. “That’s some pretty fancy new getup you’ve got there. Where you get the money for such nice things?”

Steve took a step back and crossed his arms. “I’m surviving. Like I always do.” He hated how he was already put on the defensive.

“Mhmm...” Tommy purred. “Pretty little slut like you, I bet you’ve got yourself a sugar daddy you’ve spread your legs for.”

Dread immediately pooled in Steve’s stomach. That wasn’t what Eddie was? Was he?

He smacked Tommy’s hand away. “Jealous that someone is fucking me better than you ever could? Maybe I have someone paying my bills or maybe I just have a trust fund. I’ll never tell you jack shit.”

The thing was is that he probably did have a trust fund. He just wouldn’t get it until he turned twenty-one. He had two years of running on empty he would have to do first. At least he had until Eddie came home anyway.

“No,” Tommy agreed, “you were always more of a screamer than a talker.”

Steve rolled his eyes and scoffed. “At least I didn’t run like a bitch when my parents walked in on us fucking. You find another dick to ride or did you go back to Carol like the coward you are?”

Tommy scowled. “You keep her name out your dirty mouth, Stevie boy. You don’t want to see what will happen if you don’t.”

“Yeah,” Steve said with a snort, “you’ll go running back to Daddy to protect you, like always do. Now pardon me, I have better things to do.” His eyes flicked over Tommy’s body. “If you hadn’t been the only option, I wouldn’t have picked you.”

He pushed passed him, bumping their shoulders together as he did.

He quickly bought what he needed and about as much junk food as he could get hands on. Joyce looked as though she wanted to ask if he was okay, so picked a different line to go though, hurrying out to his car. He looked around to make sure Tommy wasn’t waiting for him, but he didn’t see his car.

He drove back to the hotel, ready for a junk food night in front of the TV. He ordered room service and turned on the shower to wash off the slimy feeling of the interaction with Tommy. He had removed his shirt when he realized he had left the shampoo out there.

He opened the door and stopped in his tracks. Because there putting a couple of boxes on the end table was a girl with choppy blonde hair and boxy clothes. She was definitely not staff.

“So you’re my elf.”

~

Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @beelze-the-bubkiss

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @sticknpokelightningbolt

9- @scoops-aboy86 @kurofuckingshi16 @watermelonmite @eyehartart @dreamercec

10- @little-birch-boy @yearningagain @micheledawn1975 @blondie1006 @sadisticaltarts

[smalljxnnie]

⏝ִ︶⏝ִ︶⏝ִ︶⏝ִ︶⏝ִ︶⏝

ׂ ֢ ⠀𔓕 glimpses of your reaction about the first meet/union with your future spouse/partner 𔓘 ׂ ֢

⏜ ︵⊹︵ ⏜ ︵ ୨୧︵ ⏜ ︵⊹︵ ⏜

01. 02.

03. 04.

˒🌷៸៸ ꒰ disclaimer ୨୧ ⋆

All of the images was collected and saved through pinterest. Take all everything as grain of salt as no one can really truly predict the future. Any resonated results are purely product of the current energy. Every option for each pile are from left to right.

˒ 🌷 ៸៸ ꒰ copyright ୨୧ ⋆

All right reserved by smalljxnnie 2023. Do not copy, re-publish, transmit, and exploit this reading in any way. Please do obtain permission of the creator. Any infringement of copyright are punishable by the law.

Pile 1

Aura: reconciliation - unrequited love - deception - past life relationship

It seemed the aura is about past; a past life lover and soulmate and for few an ex. You have known each other before or either of you have know the one. The first meet and relationship seemed not to be ready for the both of you leading for breaking up or parting ways. It might be as well the spark isn't enough to create friction of attraction and it is imbalance. As of now, the universe each one needing to be healing from the past to move forward, it may taking it for a long time. When the time has come, the love you will share with one another is genuine. The past will be the lesson which can help you out for understanding the missing puzzles of attraction and relationship.

Your reaction about the union: 3 of wands

You seemed to be confident about this meeting and you are fully aware that this is the one; your future spouse/partner. You will be like, this is the person I want to have for the rest of my life, to spend and create memories; either be bad and good.

Their reaction about the union: The empress

You are a marriage (partner) material for this person. In meeting you, they do love you deeply and unconditionally. They are grateful that finally they have found the person they want to end up with and is confident about it as well. This person is attracted to you in physical and sexual sense.

The place you actually meeting them: clover - scythe

In places of a greenery land, a large field, planting garden, store for plants and seeds, farmlands, a casino, junk shop, kitchen tools section/stores, dental clinic.

微 ‹3 like - reblog - follow ⌁ ✮ : 𓂃 🎧 ៹࣪

Pile 2

Aura: free yourself - chemistry - getting to know each other

Either one or both has been free about something or to someone which it seemed to create chemistry to attract your partner. The universe represents you an award from battling your emotions and freeing yourself from the past. Then they give you gift of romantic partner and to experience the great passion of romance in your life. Upon meeting this person, you feel the love and attraction you may not feel from the past. It create a butterflies of sensation which able you to feel drawn about the person. This aura almost share same feelings and in pretty much in common and the universe is offering each other the new affair of romance to embark.

Your reaction about the union: 4 of cups

You fear about taking a risk or doesn't fully absorb the idea of this is the person you are going to end up with. Your mind probably occupied by something else to the point you doesn't really recognize what is the universe presenting you. You are not yet ready for the enter of this person in your life, -you might still stuck from the past. Also your partner is the first one who will reach you out however you will never paid attention for it because your mind is for something or even someone else. And here they are offering their love for you but actually ignoring it.

Their reaction about the union: 6 of cups

They deeply drawn in you and you remind them something very familiar perhaps they meet you before but actually doesn't remember it probably bcz you are soulmates or even in meet you in dreams or you look similar to someone that they have good memories with. Your person, don't fear to show how much they like you and how happy they are to meet you.

The place you actually meeting them: letter - tree - star

Mail office, online messaging app, school and university (office), healthcare facilities, worship places, garden, forest, organic shop products, in north place, a place of stargazing, in night, dark sky, star decorations store?

微 ‹3 like - reblog - follow ⌁ ✮ : 𓂃 🎧 ៹࣪

Pile 3

Aura: true love - attraction - honeymoon - wedding

Wow, having genuine love for one another is such a goal. This is an honest interaction and conversation with each other and you fall deep in love. The kind of love that would never be die and is alive eternally. You have smell the sweetest fragrance of love in above all and this is the best gift you ever be receiving in your life. Happiness and laughter come and join to dominate you each: together. In this life, you are happily grateful to attract your truest love of all; the attraction that create spark and connect all the pictures of promising future. You may have a honeymoon first before tying a knot or enjoying the bliss of holidays with one another before the marriage.

Your reaction about the union: 3 of wands

You are confident that this is your person and you envision your future with them perhaps see them in your dreams before you actually meet them. And you have find the right person to work with and to company along the side for the rest of your life. You believe that this is the person you would want to grow and make memories together.

Their reaction about the union: 10 of cups

They know you are their behalf and their person forever. Life's would not be empty anymore as you are on their side and wanted to see you frequently, whenever they come home. They see you are perfect to build a family and home with, you are someone who is spouse/partner material and they are grateful to have find you.

The place you actually meeting them: clouds - mountain - stork - ring

In places of airport, airplane, your flight, mountains, nursery, high places, jewelry or gift shop, wedding, engagement.

微 ‹3 like - reblog - follow ⌁ ✮ : 𓂃 🎧 ៹࣪

Pile 4

Aura: past life relationship - wedding - healing family issues

This person is your lover or soulmate from your past life. You share lots of things from the past however even though it last, the love remains in inner self of each other. In this life, you are destined to be bond with one another and share the same feelings and attraction like it is new. Either one or both of you are somewhat dealing with family issues that need to solve before the union cuz if doesn't resolved it before tying a knot, it will somewhat affect the marriage life/ living together. It takes time to forgive someone and what they do have done with you but someday you realize that forgiveness is the key for all.

Your reaction about the union: wheel of fortune

Your reaction is like this is my person and the one that I will spend the rest of your life, and that this is your soulmate. You feeling it deeply that they are yor partner. In all of the people, you are lucky to have and meet them in your life, you believe that you are meant to be for each other.

Their reaction about the union: hierophant

Your partner reaction is like "that person is the perfect one to be a role model of being a partner". You are suited as someone marriage/partner material for this person and would want to end up being with you. They are assured about you and how you would bring stability into their life, their love and intentions about you is all pure. They would believe that you are someone good to be with and they want to deepen the connection for each other.

The place you actually meeting them:

In places of church, sacred place, near cross/altar, near doorway/gate, keychain store, junk shop, casino, plant and seed shop, greenery area, large/apartment building, shopping malls, office, school, university and military places, capital place.

微 ‹3 like - reblog - follow ⌁ ✮ : 𓂃 🎧 ៹࣪

[kenmakodz]

CANDID LOVE ˙✧˖📷

06. brain food ☆

writing in-between cuts!

a quiet knock on the door catches your attention, which was previously focused on scrolling through random shows on Netflix. a weird feeling, you get. an emotion that seems to be the love-child of excitement and nervousness. there's no time to run away from these feelings, though, so you get up and open the door for the poor boy who's been hauling 3 bags of food.

"my god" he sighs, setting the bags down on the coffee table. "i think my stomach has eyes. there's no way we're finishing all this in one night." you laugh, noticing how he's holding his arm out of pain. "i've definitely done the same, more times than i'd like to admit-- here, sit down for a bit." gesturing to the couch, you sit down and pat a spot relatively close to you. he takes this offer with open arms, considering he'd walked pretty far. "sorry i took a while, hopefully i didn't keep you waiting too long?" his hands fidget together as he takes in your room. it's the size of a triple, but you have it to yourself. it's quite surprising how nice the school treats transfer students, considering how main students are usually shoved into a tiny room with 2-3 other people. you place your hand upon his; a ballsy move, but you know how it feels to be anxious about things. you don't want him to be anxious with you. "it's fine, really. i don't mind waiting for you." you smile, moving your hand back to it's previous position. embarrassment clearly runs through his body, but to you he just looked starstruck. after a moment of pushing these feelings back, he returns your smile. "i'm glad, then. um, can we eat? i fear my stomach is going to wrinkle up if we don't." "yes yuuta, we can eat."

"okay, okay. this seems good for now, i think?" he sits back from the laptop you two have been sharing, taking a second to re-read the outline. your eyes scan the page as well; it's a very.. rough outline. you start laughing at the last few lines, where he'd begun to give up on being professional. after all, only you two will see this draft. "why are you laughing?" he pouts, thinking you're making fun of the ideas laid out. "oh relax," you lean back with him, realizing he's gotten much closer than before. "i can just tell that you were rushing writing the final scene." his head whips to you and a hand clutches his chest, feigning shock; a sarcastic gasp falls from his lips. "how could you! we worked very hard on this!" your hand pushes his away from his chest, the both of them landing on his lap. "oh, shut up. i'm just teasing." he huffs anyways, a facade you've become accustomed to. after all, one of your best friends is nobara kugisaki.

reaching to a stuffed dog to your side, you hand it to him. "here, will an emotional support dog help?" he sighs, wrapping it in his arms. "i suppose." laughing again, you sit up and grab the laptop once more. "you're so dumb." he grips the toy more, you don't realize it, but he likes the way it smells of lavender just like you do. "what are you doing now, don't you think its enough for tonight?" you stop to think, after sending the draft to your phone. "well, we'll need to send casting calls to the neighboring schools sometime soon.. but i guess we can be done for now." he closes the laptop for you and places it on the table once again, looking back. "good, we can do that another time-" his sentence is cut off due to his phone practically blowing up in the room over. "sorry," he starts, getting up and handing the stuffed dog back to you. "let me go check on that."

"hey, sorry again. my friends were blowing up my phone for some reason." he comes back into the room where you two were sitting before, unsure if he should sit back down. he can't read your face, and you can't read his either, despite you both feeling the same way. "it's okay. you can sit back down if you want to stay a bit longer..?" you look down for a split second, anticipating the rejection he was about to give you. "i was looking for shows before you got here, but i couldn't find a good one." you try to convey what you say as a question, but it almost comes out as a plea. he doesn't say anything immediately, and you almost get upset? looking back up, you realize he's already getting ready to sit back down with you. "i'd love to stay. i also have an amazing suggestion for a show." your eyes light up, and it feels like the room filled with more air the way you both sighed with relief. "oh really?" you tease him, as he takes back the toy he'd left with you. "lay it on me then."

fun facts -> TWO PEOPLE PINING FOR EACHOTHER BUT NEITHER KNOW IT!!!! a classic trope. chefs kiss. yuuta offered to go get snacks not only because he was starving, but he also needed time to calm himself down before going to y/n's dorm. he was scared. scared that he'd say something stupid, give her the ick, embarrass himself. you know, the works. once he got there though, it felt like he never wanted to go home again.

-> GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCh. screams. kicking my feet like a little girl writing this chapter.

previous, masterlist, next [07. i hate men (except you two)]

taglist is open! @just-a-girlblogger @moryymor @swissy23 @hvnyacoded @sereniteav @k4romis @jayathelostdragon  @h3rmess @olivandeee @lysaray @ari3000dontcare @raechu11 @marifujioka @nyxlai @sonicsolos @saltypuffin1040 @r0ckst4rjk @h8ani @lmaolmaolmao @maya-maya-56 @mittensdun @adrenova @pnkblueberry @morgyyyyyyy @chososwh0r3 @lunecqm @r4veeen @arivsx @levlucs-kiru @mellozhi

if you are in bold, i am unable to tag you :( and if i forgot to add you, PLEASE YELL AT ME

⤷ © kenmakodz

[citr0us]

NSFW ALPHABET - MATT STURNIOLO

Summary: alphabet headcanons about what sex is like with matt

!warnings: smut

A - Aftercare (what the are like after sex)

Matt is supeeerrrr affectionate with you after sex, asking if you´re okay and then going to shower with you. He gets very clingy with you, he loves just to cuddle while watching someting. Super cute

B- body part (their fav body parts of theirs partner)

Matt love your ass and thighs. he loves feeling them, and squeezing them. When you wear short shorts, he loves to watch how hot your ass looks in them.

C - Cum (where he likes to cum)

He loves cumming in your face, mouth and titties.

He loves watching his cum dripp in your body.

D - Dirty Secret (self explanatory)

He has a video of you masturbating that he uses to get off.

He tried with your photos, but it's not the same

he loves hearing you moaning, and he lovesss seeing your face while doing.

E - Experince (how experienced are they? Do they know what they are doing)

He has at least 1 or 2 bodys before you. He kinda knows what he is doing tho

I believe that yall will need to talk, and you will have to teach him some things

F - Favorite Position (self explanatory)

when he is on top of you, being able to see your body, curves and tits. he likes to see your face and expression

G- Goofy (are they serious in the moment?)

At first he would gigle a little, but then he would get serious and focused on your pleasure

H - Hair (if they have a lot of hair or little? is shaved?)

he's not full shaved

I - intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he loves going slow and sensual he loves to making you feel good and take his time with you

J - Jack Off (masturbation)

he doesn't have to do it anymore because of you. If you are far from each other he would see some photos and videos of you to get off

K - Kink (pretty self explanatory)

Him being dominant, and bossing you around

L - Location (favorite places to do)

his bed where he can be comfortable with you. If it's at your house, I believe he'll accept it anywhere. sofa, bathroom…

M - Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

your moans, evertime that you scream his name and show him that you are enjoying it

N - No (something that they wouldn’t do)

anything that involves his ass (idk)

O - Oral (preference in giving or receiving)

Matt is a fucking giver

everbody knowss about matt the munch, This man loves to eat you outt and hear you moan for more and more

he know how to use his tougue

P - pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

I feel like he can be both It depends on his mood. but generally is more slow and sensual.

Q - quickie (their opinions on quickie)

He would never say no to a quickie, but he likes more having time with you

R - risk (do they take risks?)

He's not the type who likes to take risks, he likes to do it at his house or yours

S- stamina (how many rounds can they go for?)

Matt usually can go for 2 rounds at least. but when he really wants he can go for 3 very easily

T- toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn't own any toys, but if you do he would use them on you.

U- unfair (how much they like to tease)

He loves to tease you, and see how long you can last. doing things and saying things to you

V- volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc)

It's not that loud, you can hear some groans. But when he's getting close he gets kinda loud (like when he is playing fortnite ifykyk) and he starts talking too ''yeah, just like that'' ''c'mon yn don't stop''

W- wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Matt loves the idea of him fucking you on his car, with the loud music in the back.

x- x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Matt doesn't have big dick energy, butt i know it's long guys. trust me

y- yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

HORNY all the timeee.

everbody knows that he his a fucking slut bro, he would get turn on by you just looking at him.

z- zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He is soo exhausted afterwards, he tries to wait for you to sleep first but he always sleeps first

[ruh--roh-raggy]

Home Sweet Home (William Afton x Wife! Reader) - Part 3

Hello hello! Welcome to part 3 of Home Sweet Home! Today we get a very special flashback into Reader and William's past. This one is tooth rottingly sweet so I hope you're prepared hehe. As always thank all of you so much for reading, if you would like to be added to the tag list please let me know!!

WARNINGS: Reader gets grabbed by the wrist by the guy who she was supposed to go on a date with, some swearing, other than that just the fluffiest of fluff

You can find my Masterlist here!

Word count: 2,673

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 4

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“I'm going to go grab some more things from the other room!” William exclaims over the pounding music. He had said he thought of a way to make unpacking more fun, but you never expected this. William had this old stereo system that since you had gotten together lived in a corner in his garage. You would always fuss over it, trying to get him to take it out. “The mice have probably chewed a bunch of the wires in it, it would be more of a hassle to fix than it’s worth.” He'd explain. “I'll probably just buy a new one if we ever decide we need it, bunny.” So, when he pushed a large blanket covered object into your room you were definitely a little confused. You shot him a curious look when he revealed that it was the sound system you had been begging him to pull out for ages. “She's good as new, ready for my pretty girl to listen to music whenever she wants!” He says proudly, patting the top. The system worked like a dream, even though it was a bit outdated. You flipped through records before finally deciding on what you wanted to listen to, your husband chuckling as the music blared and you began to dance around the room. The little distracting from your mundane activity helped you work a little faster, and before you knew it your bedroom was mostly finished. William re entered the room with the final few boxes that needed to be put away, setting them in the corner as he watched you twirled around the floor. He loved how his heart still raced whenever he looked at you, the steady thrumming in his chest bringing a smile to his face. He strides forward with the same shaky confidence he had when you first had gotten together. You paused as you noticed him approach, looking at him with those same bright eyes that always managed to make his breath catch in his throat. He gives you a slight bow, the soft static of the record trying to fill in the silence between songs. He holds out his hand to you, the corners of your eyes crinkling as you smile.

“Would you like to dance bunny?” The pure adoration that dripped from his voice threatened to make you tear up, and for just a moment a slightly younger version of you had flashed before his eyes. You had looked so pretty the first time he had asked you to dance with him, but he couldn't argue that the sight before him was even more beautiful. Your hair a complete mess from working all day, your baggy cleaning clothes seemed to hang perfectly off of your frame. He never stopped loving a single thing about you. But, your first dance together would always hold a special place in both your hearts.

“He’s taking me out dancing.” You squeal along with your co-worker, talking about the date you had planned later.

“Dancing, huh?” You jump slightly as a voice suddenly chimes in behind you. You noticed your coworker straighten up as her eyes landed on the man behind you. You turned to find Mr. Afton, a smirk on his lips, you could feel the anger swimming in his eyes. “Didn’t know guys your age still did that sort of thing.” As soon as it was there it was gone, his eyes softening as his smirk turned into his usual charming, lopsided smile. You felt your heartbeat quicken at the sight of it.

“Well, I told him I always wanted someone to take me dancing.” You admit bashfully, feeling a bit silly for admitting such a childish, romantic fantasy.

“A beautiful young woman like yourself deserves someone who takes them out.” He responds as his gaze flickers over your face. “Although, I wouldn’t get your hopes up, he might not be the right man for the job.” He adds with a slight tilt of his head, his eyes flash away from you before he clears his throat. “Ladies, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go, uh… elsewhere.” He nods politely before hurrying off. You exchange a look with your coworker.

“What in the Faz-Fuck was that all about?” You both break out into a fit of giggles at the “workplace appropriate” swear word before you just shrugged.

You stood outside of Freddy’s, you and your date agreeing to meet there because you didn’t want to give him your address. You watched car after car pass by but none of them ever turned into the lot. You checked your watch, it was about an hour after the time he was supposed to pick you up. You wrapped your jacket tighter around you, your teeth beginning to chatter as you waited in the night. You jumped as the door next to you suddenly pushed open. William stepped outside with his keys in hand, a tight black sweatshirt over his work shirt accentuated his broad shoulders. He glanced over at you, briefly turning back to the lock before his brow furrowed in confusion and his eyes snapped back to you. “You’re still here?” He straightens up, taking a few steps closer to you. Your eyes slowly trailed upwards in order to meet his as he walked forward. “I saw your car pull in an hour ago, is everything alright?”

“He was supposed to meet me here. I,uh, I think he might’ve stood me up.” Your throat grew tight as shame washed over your body. You couldn’t have felt more pathetic if you tried. A young eager girl with hearts in her eyes as she excitedly talked about her date all day just to get stood up.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Your skin buzzed where his hand rested on your shoulder. “If he stood you up he’s a Faz-Fucking idiot.” He manages to get a small laugh out of you, making him smile softly. Before you had a chance to respond, a beat up car that’s front bumper was held on by duct tape came screeching to a halt in front of the restaurant. Your date's head pops out of the window.

“Get in.” He commands before disappearing back inside the car. You noticed William bite at the inside of his cheek.

“Bit rude to not open the door for her, isn't it, chief?” William calls in an antagonizing tone. You could tell how he tensed up before his hand fell away from your shoulder that he intended to teach this guy a lesson. The driver's side door flew open as your date climbed out.

“You got a problem, old man?” William cocks an eyebrow at his insult.

“I may be old you little punk,” he spits, “but I know that’s absolutely no way to treat a woman.” His voice was dangerously calm, not a single waiver of emotion in his tone.

“Oh be fucking forreal,” he rolls his eyes, “you’re just pissed that you can’t flirt with someone half your age, pervert.” He barged forward, grabbing you by the wrist and yanking you in the direction of his car. Your eyes dart to William, the only thing that would make you feel safe in your moment of fear. You caught the sight of a snarl forming on his face.

“Don’t fucking touch her.” William growls, rushing up on him. He immediately dropped your wrist, stumbling backwards and falling straight onto his ass. William steps in front of you, half blocking your body with his towering form. “You were an hour late to pick her up, you’ve been acting like a jackass since you pulled up, and on top of that you’re grabbing her like she’s some piece of meat.” His voice boomed across the empty lot. His fists shook by his side, his shoulders heaving with his heavy breaths as he filled with rage. William points at the guy's car. “You better get the fuck off of this property, and if I ever see you around here again or see you anywhere near her, I will personally introduce that moronic face of yours to the fucking concrete. Do I make myself clear?” He scrambled for his car, peeling out of the lot before his door was even fully closed. The moment his car was out of sight his attention immediately shifted to you, ready to swoop in and save the day when you needed him most. “Are you okay? How’s your wrist?”

“William, I’m so sorry.” Your voice shook as you fought back the tears that welled up in your eyes.

“Oh, rabbit,” he coos at you, taking your hands in his, “you don’t have anything to apologize for. That guy was a jackass.” He places a finger under your chin, tilting your face up to look at him. “He doesn’t deserve someone like you.” He brushes some stray hair from your cheek, his soft smile making your heart flutter. His thumb rubs languidly over your knuckles, “come inside for a bit, you’re frozen.” He opens up the door for you, motioning for you to head in before him. “Unlike that scumbag I plan on holding the door.” He winks at you, causing you to flush slightly. You reluctantly let your hand slip from his as you stepped inside, his calloused fingers warm against your much smaller, more delicate ones. He took your coat, hanging it up on the side of a booth you slid into. “I’m going to go make some coffee, even if you don’t drink it just hold it. Your hands are like ice.” You nod, watching as he disappears into the kitchen. You trace along the cracks in the old linoleum table, mentally berating yourself over how stupid you were. “Here you go, sweetheart.” You can’t help but smile when you’re met with the sight of his lopsided grin.

“Thank you.” You respond softly. He studies you, trying to gauge what you need from him at the moment. “I’m really embarrassed.” You admit with a dry chuckle. “Here I am getting myself all worked up for this date…” your voice cracks as the need to cry wells up in your throat. You try your best to clear it, not wanting to appear as weak as you felt in front of him. “It was stupid anyways.” You shrug, trying your best to force a smile despite the fact you felt a tear slowly rolling down your cheek.

“Honey, it’s not stupid for you to want someone to treat you the way you deserve.” He reaches out, cupping your cheek and wiping at the wet trail. He stood, holding out his hand to you, a hopeful glimmer in his eyes. “If it’s alright with you I’d like to give you that dance you were looking forward to.” You reached out for him, your fingers shaking with anticipation. He guided you gently from the booth, a stark contrast from how roughly you were grabbed before. He motioned for you to wait a moment, heading next to the stage to kick a jukebox to life. Instead of the usual stage show songs you were used to he had flipped to something a bit slower, more romantic. He spins you around before his arm slides around your waist, giving your hand a gentle squeeze as he gazes down at you.

“Is this a bad time to admit I’ve never really danced before?” You ask with a nervous giggle. William breathes out a laugh, shaking his head.

“I’ll go slow, just let my body lead yours.” You flush as you feel the heat radiating off of his strong chest as he pulls you in closer. It felt effortless as he moved you across the floor, your steps quickly being able to fall into time with his. Before you knew it he was waltzing you around the open space. He spun you around a few times before expertly pulling you back into his embrace. Your heart raced, you could feel it all the way in the tips of your fingers. His striking silver eyes remained locked on yours as he moved you in a way he knew that little douchebag never would have been able to pull off, it made him well up with a sense of pride. Before him was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his entire life, and she was captivated by him and him alone. The smile that spread across your face as he dipped you low with the conclusion of the song was enough to have a shiver run up his spine. “For someone who’s never danced before you did amazing.” He winks.

“I think it’s because I had such a good partner.” You mumble shyly, heat rising in your cheeks as you feel his thumb run across your waist. His eyes flash down to your lips, swallowing thickly before letting his gaze slowly trace up to meet yours again. “William, I, um…” you trail off as anxiety creeps forward in your mind. He was just being nice to you, that’s all this was.

“What is it, rabbit?” His voice comes out low and gravelly, words dripping with need like honey off of his tongue.

“That was really nice.” Your eyes dropped to the floor as you tried to push the thought of how badly you wanted to feel his lips on yours. “This is definitely better than the night I would've been having with that asshole.”

“I know I keep saying this but he doesn't deserve someone like you.” He brushes some hair from your face before holding both of your hands in his. “He wouldn't notice how your eyes light up when you talk about something you're passionate about or how adorable you look when you're flustered. He doesn’t know what your favorite color is or your favorite pizza toppings or your favorite movie.” Your eyes widened slightly as you realized that he was listing off things he had proven he knew about you in the past. “You are beautiful and so unbelievably kind and if I wasn’t such a damn coward I would’ve done this sooner.” His hand drops yours, moving to cup your face as he presses into you. A broken whimper escapes your lips as your hands fist into the soft material of his sweatshirt. The hand that still rested on your hip slid around your waist as he pressed you flush against him, lifting you up onto the tips of your toes to make it easier to kiss you. You gasped as he pulled back from you, both of you staring at one another wide eyed and breathless.

“Can I take you out on a date sometime?” The question fell from his mouth hurriedly, as if he was afraid if he didn’t ask it then he would never be able to say it.

“Yes.” Your answer was immediate, giving him a firm nod. Your face felt hot and damp, the remnant of the tears you hadn’t realized you let flow freely stained your cheeks. William breathes out a relieved and almost triumphant chuckle before he pulls you back into him, your mind getting lost in the taste of the bitter coffee and his own undeniable sweetness as it dances across your tongue.

William smiles at the sight before him, he would never get tired of the way his beautiful wife looked at him so lovingly. Your hand slipped into his, allowing him to spin you around the floor, your laughter blending melodically with the music. He pulls you into his arms, mimicking the steps he first taught you all those years ago. You had become a lot better over time, William loved to dance with you rather frequently. Your once clumsy movements now seemed as natural to you as walking. You laughed loudly as he dropped you into a low dip, your vision fully getting flipped upside down. You caught the sight of a red pick up truck pulling up your driveway. William pulls you upright. “Looks like we got some company.” He says with a wink.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Tag List: @yellowbunnydreams @zoey5252 @redflowery @loudchaosking @weirdoartist21 @residentevilbeast (If I miss you or you would like to me added please let me know!)

[threecheersforsuccess]

I've been yapping for too many years, so I need a living masterpost of the guides and blogs from my Tumblr and Instagram. I plan to create more long-form content in the upcoming months, and I will re-do some of the prompts listed. I feel some of my old work might be outdated, so please take my wording with a chunk of salt.

I'll update my with my content as I go.

Stuff from 2024

♡ What's in my bag? (2024)

My Motivation Education Video Series (2022-2023)

♡ Part 0: Something Much Needed Among Students: Motivation ♡ Part 1: Bare Bones Definition of Motivation ♡ Part 2: Self-efficacy, I think ♡ Part 3: Where is the control? ♡ Part 4: Reward or Autopilot ♡ Part 5: Determination to Continue ♡ Part 6: Personal Interest ♡ Part 7: Outside The Model ♡ Part 8: Where is the willpower? ♡ Part 9: Is stress even a bad thing? Note: I stopped because I did not like the short video format. I'm not sure if I may pick this up again, but I do think the lessons I learned from my readings are pretty neat :)

5am.Raining's Studying Challenge (2022)

Note: A challenge led by my cool mutual 5am.raining on Instagram. I slowly figure out how to make videos. It's a little wonky at the beginning, but I find my style! I made these posts in 2022 ♡ Poorly Filmed Day in My Life! ♡ My Studying Role Model... Haruhi from Ouran... ♡ Fave Leader in My Field: Carol Dweck ♡ What gets me in the mood to study? ♡ What I want to do with my degree... ♡ My Fave Reading Assignment ♡ Study Tunes ♡ How to get back into reading books ♡ Favorite study supplies ♡ Planning Routine (2022 version) ♡ Organizing My Desk ♡ What's in my backpack? ♡ Inspiring Film or Doc on My Field ♡ Imposter Syndrome ♡ "Study Buddy" ♡ Coping with Long Study Sessions

Flipd Productivity and Motivation Challenge Blogs

Note: I yapped so hard I won the productivity challenge. I wrote these around junior year of college (2021). ♡ Long-Term Destination, Short-Term Motivation: Living in The Moment ♡ Embedding Self-forgiveness in Your Self-Care ♡ Study Essentials ♡ The Importance of Play and Breaks ♡ Quote of Week Analysis: Self-Acceptance ♡ How I Plan My Everyday ♡ The Biggest Time Management Misconception I'm Trying to Get Over ♡ Recognizing Burnout (and Listening to Yourself) ♡ Building an Academic Support System ♡ Ways to Make Yourself Take Breaks ♡ The Challenges of a Positive Mindset ♡ How I Build Habits (based on James Clear's Atomic Habits)

Diana's Studying Challenge (2021)

Note: A challenge lead by my cool mutual dianas.desk on Instagram. I made these posts in 2021. Day 1: Challenge Introduction Day 2: What Gets Me Motivated Day 3: Cleaning My Desk Day 4: Study Tunes/Songs I Listen and Avoid Day 5: Current Books I'm Reading Day 6: Relaxation! Arknights Projekt Red Bullet Journal Spread Day 7: My Happy Place Day 8: Week Reflection Day 9: How I Plan Day 10: My Summer 2021 Work Routine Day 11: My Desk Essentials Day 12: Study Snack (Natto) Day 13: Digital or Paper Notes? Which is Better? Day 14: How I Self-Care Day 15: My School Bag Day 16: Proudest Achievement Day 17: Most Favorite Productivity App/Website Blocker Day 18: Work Buddies Day 19: Inspirational Quotes Day 20: My Favorite Place to Work Day 21: #MessyDesk Day 22: Guilty Pleasure Day 23: My Favorite Study Accounts Day 24: Study Methods I Do Not Like Day 25: Trying out a new place to work? Day 26: Part 2 of My Unconventional Study Tips (same as above) Day 27: My Outfit Day 28: Making a Gratitude List Day 29: My Aspirations Day 30: Today I learned… Day 31: September Goals

My Study Tips

Note: I wrote many of these either in 2020 or very early on (2017-2018). Super old stuff. ♡ Unconventional Study Tips Part 1 + Part 2 ♡ One Effective Memorization Tip ♡ Dealing with Bad Grades: What I Do ♡ How to get 800 on the SAT in Math and Full Points on Grammar ♡ Causes of Procrastination + Methods for Each ♡ How to Study When Unmotivated ♡ Making Your Discord Study Space ♡ Ways to Go to Bed Early ♡ My Super Ultimate Guide to AP Calc AB and BC ♡ Using Your Phone Productively (2018)

Journaling

♡ How I Journal (2017) ♡ How I Use My Notebooks (2018) ♡ How to Keep a Daily Journal (2020) ♡ How to Get into Creative Journaling (2022)

Dividers by @fairytopea

[simmerianne93]

[Simmerianne93]Infant_poses_01

Hello everyone!!! How are you today??

Making a photoshoot with an infant is never easy in real life... so, imagine doing a photoshoot for three infants at the same time haha. Chaos unleashed.

When the infants just came out, the game trolled me by giving me two trios of infants in a play in less than 1 sim week (let's say that the WW played a trick on me, and then the game finished it off by not giving me 1 baby but 3 in a single pregnancy , 2 times!)....and I felt like it was a call from destiny to do some infant poses. However, between doing one thing and another, I was putting them off until I said: okay, it's time to do them.

So here I have made some poses for a triplet infants in a crib.

I didn't want the poses to be the typical "portrait" poses with all the sims looking at the camera smiling but rather to look "realistic"... When you want to take photos of one or more babies it is very difficult for them to look at the camera... and it is still more difficult for them to stay still. There will be laughter and crying and it will be a complete chaos... but at least the result will be pretty cute no matter what.

I hope you like these first infant poses. I really liked making them, although it took a while to square the distance at which I wanted to place the teleporter so that the infants would be easier to select, so I will surely be doing more infant poses later.

Without further ado, I'll leave you with the description of the poses:

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What is on it?

6 trio poses for infants + 3 all in one.

What do you need?

Andrew's poses player 

Teleport any sim by Scumbumbo.

A Base Game Crib.

Invisible infant mat replacement  by mcrudd  (OPTIONAL)

Instructions on the original post.

——

TOU

Do not claim my creations as your own.

Do not re-upload or modify my creations.

Do not make money of my creations.

Do not include my creations in Mods folders to download.

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@ts4-poses

[hannahhook7744]

Rise of Red Rewrite Brainstorming;

I'm rewriting Rise of Red to make it fit into my version of the disney descendants and am at the brainstorming phase. But I'm stuck on a couple of things and need feedback.

Here are the differences first:

1. So first off, Bridget and Ella didn't go to school at the same time (because I'm trying to make it fit up in the timeline and match the other things we knew previously).

This is because I'm pretty sure it was mentioned the heroes went to school together at some point and if Alice is old enough to have a teenage daughter in the same high school as Ella's oldest son then she's likely around Ella's age. Which means they probably went to school around the time, either together or a few years apart.

(Whether that be college or high school doesn't really matter).

It also fits Bridget having three kids instead of one in my au too.

Right now I'm figuring out if her husband was at school with her and was her only friend in Ella's place or if she was friendless in school, and ended up marrying him so she could obtain the throne.

Either way she'll have her siblings but I'm not sure how they become strained as of yet.

2. Uliana's gang still exists at the same time as Bridget.

Did the math to figure out if this would work and it ended up working.

Peter Pan takes place in 1904 from what I can tell (going off the movie that is).

Alice in wonderland takes place sometime in mid to late 1800s.

The little mermaid takes place mod to late 1800s.

And Morgie's mom, Morgana Le Fay is a part fae in some tales. Fae live longer than humans so it's entirely possible for her to have a young child around the same time.

Assuming Maleficent, Hades, and maybe Persephone were de-aged around that time the group can both exist and go to school around the same time as Bridget.

They also all still go to the old version of Merlin Academy (it still exists today, it just split off from Auradon Prep and is now a Camelot exclusive school).

Also Hook is still a pirate, after getting kicked out of his Naval School, and has been to the Neverland but he doesn't have his Hook yet.

This is possible because his mother, as shown in Jake and the Neverland Pirates, was a teacher at Neverland Academy. So he's been to Neverland and is a somewhat feared pirate (not too much so though because he's still a teenager and Peter Pan won't exist for another few years yet).

Also Hook has a brother here because I remember somewhere he had one and I thought it would be fun. He also is friends with the three Smee brothers (one of which isn't a pirate since Smee has a great nephew in Auradon in 'the school of secrets' web series) but isn't as close with them as he is with Uliana's gangs (because they and the few other pirates hanging around are mainly just lackeys to him atm).

3. The girls (and their friends) don't just travel to one time period.

Did this so they could both still see teen Ella even though I have no idea what to do with that plot point just yet.

4. Chad is missing for a few years (cause I started my rewrite idwa with that plot in mind ages before the flim even came out).

5. Glass Hearts is canon (it could be pre Glass Hearts or Glass Hearts happens in the middle or epilogue).

6. The characters are slightly redesigned and they were friends before the QoH's hostile siege of Wonderland.

7. Either Chloe and Red (and friends) are eighteen or Wonderland has been under control of the QoH for only six years timeline wise. Haven't decided.

8. Queen of Hearts was on the isle.

9. Ace and Chester and other Wonderlandian next gen members are mentioned/maybe saved at some point (doesn't affect Glass Hearts outcome at all).

Now. On to the point/points where I'm stuck:

1. I can't decide whether they fix things with one go around of the past or if they have to go back to fix an error they made.

I don't want Bridget never having turned evil to be the permanent outcome because yes, while that seems like a good outcome it really isn't.

For Red anyway.

I don't know how many of you have seen back to the future and I guess even if you had it doesn't really get dwelled on for long but....

Marty remembers changing the past.

He remembers the original timeline only.

His first one, the one he grew up in.

He doesn't remember this new great timeline where his parents never fell out of love, his siblings are successful, Bif is kept in check by Mr. And Mrs. McFly, and everything in his life is great.

Everyone else does except him.

And I think the same would probably be true for Red based on what we saw.

She doesn't remember her mom being loving growing up.

She doesn't remember her mom baking her cupcakes or being nice to the people of wonderland.

She doesn't remember a mother who never transfigured her friends (happened in the book) and who never would stage a coup at her daughter's soon to be school.

She doesn't remember a mother who shows love a healthy way.

She remembers the QoH.

The woman who had strict out of pocket rules and even stricter, harsher punishments like transfiguring people into mindless beings and chopping off their heads.

She remembers the woman who told her _love wasn't it'. That it didn't exist. A woman who, whether she realized it or not, was basically telling her own daughter that she didn't love her or her daughter's other parent.

So while Red now has a loving mother its not everything she imagined. Because Red can't forget her actual mother and all she did, and in this new timeline where her mother didn't do any of that, will never get the apology she so desperately deserved and wanted.

She can't remember this nice woman as her mother. Just as Bridget, the nice girl she went to school with briefly.

She can't remember all the lovely things they supposedly did with the rest of the family.

And it's driving her up the wall.

Red knows it's not fair to be mad at this Bridget for the stuff her real mom did.

She knows it's not fair to lash out at her for what the other her did.

But she's angry and scared and can't remember any of the things she wanted and now has.

And she hates it.

She hates that she finally has what she wanted. She hates that she hates this nice woman for things she didn't do (because Red and Chloe stopped it before she snapped) and she hates her father for being different too.

(I based her dad entirely off the one from the animated movie even though Bridget is the same as in ROR so bare with me).

She hates that her cowardly father who was her favorite parent in the other timeline before she got older and started to resent him is happier and a better dad here.

Hates that this one doesn't cower away from her mother.

That this one is just as happy and perky as the new adult Bridget and that he never stood by while she and her older siblings were worked to the bone, and yelled at and stripped of their joy as their mother became a tyrant.

She hates how he's happier here and louder, and just..

Red hates how unfair it is that this wasn't her life all along and that she can't enjoy it now that it is.

But she's stuck.

Not literally but mentally.

She's stuck on what to do.

She should be happy.

She was never ripped away from her friends or abused here.

And now she has the family she always wanted.

A loving mother who indulges her interests and loves her as a person, and who doesn't yell all the time and hurt their people. A mother who was never hurt and who never turned evil enough to be sent to the isle.

A father who isn't too afraid of her mother to do right by her and her siblings, and their people.

Aunts and uncles who were actually in her life and not against her parents.

And a no longer depressed older sister (named Quinlynn) who, since she's never even been to the isle, isn't depressed over having lost two people she thought were the love of her life and friends she never should have had to outlive so young.

It's only after she realizes that her family is so different from what she remembers that she realizes it isn't complete. Someone is missing.

Her older brother is missing.

It takes one question to her parents for her to realize why he (Hart/Hardy) is missing and why he hasn't been home in the weeks (or less) she and Chloe have been back.

It's because she doesn't have a brother. Not. In. This. Timeline.

Her annoying conflict-avoidant-when-it-came-to- their-mother-only pirate of a brother didn't exist.

Her family didn't know his name.

Uma and her crew didn't know Red (hadn't watched her grow up), and didn't know who she was talking about it.

Why this is, she doesn't know.

Doesn't know whether it's because her parents were happy and off the isle.

Doesn't know if it's because the rumors are true and her brother's REAL other parent is on the either (she heard that he was her mother or father's affair baby but had never believed it before now).

She doesn't know or care why it is. Just that it is.

So now, she's already in a dilemma.

Either she goes back with or without Chloe and allows whatever prank that broke the camel's back to turn her mother evil again and gets her brother back.

Losing this happy, carefree version of her sister and the happy, loving parents (and extended family) she'd always wanted.

Turning her back on teen Bridget, who was so nice and kind and the adult Bridget who thanks to her stayed that way.

Or she turns her back on her brother. Accepting this new loving family and this strange happy version of her sister and life that will never be hers.

Letting go of her mentors (the Badun Detective Agency in my au) and her non-Wonderlandian friends who weren't with her and Chloe and the others when they time traveled.

Accepting a world that isn't truly hers and basically killing her brother.

(Sorry for the ramble).

So either:

1. They only meet Bridget (and no one else) and stop the prank—only to see that she still turned evil due to something that happened after they left.

But they arrived just in time to steal her cards and stop her coup, and the qoh is arrested. Allowing for Red to be placed in her siblings custody and for her to be deemed a hero, ensuring that what would have been a rough time at school had the coup been staged before it could be prevented doesn't happen/isn't as bad.

Fixing the present on one go without any need to go back.

It doesn't solve the problem of Chad's disappearance or allow for Chloe to meet a slightly disillusioned version of her young mom.

It doesn't include the above mentioned angst but includes the angsty idea that nothing could have been done for her mother without removing Uliana's gang from the equation (which, given who exactly is in the gang isn't really an option).

But it's a quick fix with a mostly happy ending. One even better if you figure in that maybe what QoH did to Ace and Chester isn't permanent and can be reversed.

Red will have her friends and siblings back, get taken away from her parents, have an actual social life in school, and get to fall in love with Chloe.

Chloe's saved her parents. Saved Auradon Prep. She doesn't have her brother back but it's maybe starting to heal from his disappearance, and maybe with Red and their friends by her side she can find him.

It's not perfect but it's bittersweet. A mostly happy ending.

Or

2. They met Bridget, stopped the prank, and then met Ella.

Either making her life worse somehow OR intervening a little too early.

Getting Ella out of her abusive home situation and of course, not thinking anything of it because it's the right thing to do. Thinking instead that now the future's gonna be the best because now Chloe's mom has a little less trauma and didn't have to deal with her stepmother's wicked meddling with time this time around.

Only they get to the future.

And Bridget is still nice and loving (which, again brings its own angst that mentioned before) to her (now two instead of three) kids, husband, and siblings as well as her subjects.

Meaning Maddox didn't lose his father to a transfiguration punishment and that his job is now easier.

But things are now worse for almost everyone else who went back in time.

Danny Darling's mom is even more traumatized because somehow something THEY did ended up with one of her brothers dead and doesn't let him or his two older siblings out of her sight.

Shan Deja's father is meaner because Hades and Maleficent, and several others give him a harder time than they did in the original time line on the isle.

Snow White, having now no longer gone to school with Ella and having lost that connection, is more anxious and paranoid than before and stopped her daughter Sophie (Glauco's older sister) from becoming Yen Sid's apprentice. This somehow leading to Glauco getting turned into a tree sooner and not being turned back, unlike the original timeline.

Which means his parents don't recognize his teen self and refuse to believe he isn't pulling some cruel prank on them.

Edith, Hadie's cousin and Eris' daughter,'s mom is now apathetic to her existence when before she was loving because now Hades isn't her friend.

And, as for Hadie and Chloe?

Simple: they, like Red's brother, don't exist in this timeline.

Why?

Well, because since Chloe and Red intervened and got Ella away from the Tremaines sooner it changed things.

Like: Drizella and Anastasia never got redeemed, never made up with Ella just to get sent to the isle anyway, and never met their husbands ( a redeemed Hans Westergaard for Drizella and the baker for Anastasia). Which means their children never got to exist even when they got sent to the isle earlier.

Lady Tremaine's reputation was publicly in ruin and the house was seized and held until Ella turned 19.

By then, instead of Ella having met her Fairy Godmother and getting to meet her Prince Charming she instead received her house.

Getting an education and a pseudo family in the form of the baker's family that took her in but never finding love.

Prince Christopher, unwilling to marry someone he doesn't love, ran away never to be seen again. Leaving his father heartbroken and the kingdom in disarray after he dies.

Chad is no longer missing and he still exists but he was never adopted here.

Meaning he never went to Auradon Prep and never met his friends or the vks. Never became a prince, never became disgraced, and never disappeared into the night never to be seen again when Chloe was ten because she didn't exist and he wasn't a Charming.

He wasn't anyone important to anyone.

Because he'd never been adopted and had found the birth parents who didn't want him, and was turned away.

Because he aged out of the orphanage (the one that was no longer named after their mother's story) and now is nothing like the boy Chloe remembers. Any version of him.

He isn't the kind, excitable struggling boy who loved her to death he was before their grandfather died and before her heart condition got worse and their parents got busier fighting for their step-aunts and their children to be released from the isle.

He's not the teenage Chad little Chloe had built up in her head during the times he rarely came home and avoided her like the plague. The cool one who did no wrong who everyone loved and who found and sat with her under the table she'd hidden under after Dragon Maleficent attacked during Ben's coronation when she was eight.

He's not the heartbroken, cries himself to sleep Chad that he was after Audrey broke up with him.

Or the healing (becoming less of an asshole) Chad that went to Jane's birthday only to come back a cowering, heartbroken mess that could hardly stand to be around Audrey anymore, falling into depression Chad who Hades dumped water on less than a year later at Bal's wedding (the same night Chad would disappear).

And he certainly wasn't the Chad that Chloe had only gotten to know after her brother had vanished into the night.

He wasn't an asshole or a bully, or a cheater who was slowly becoming a more tolerable person.

No. This Chad was none of those.

No, instead... This Chad was quiet and broken. With no friends, no family. No job and no home.

And Chloe, despite very much still being alive and breathing and not disappearing doesn't exist by any records and can't help him because he doesn't know her, and no one would believe her if she tried to tell them anything.

A problem which Hadie is also having.

Because in this timeline instead of a de-aged Maleficent, Hades, and Persephone all growing up and their poly three turning into just Hades and Persephone when Maleficent grew more power hungry...

Well, instead of that, a de-aged Persephone saw the aftermath of an even CRUELER prank that they were involved with and broke up with both Maleficent and Hades like her mother had always wanted. Cutting out their friend group as well and turning her backs on them, going back to her mother and begging to be aged back to her actual age.

Leaving Hades and Maleficent to never break up, and to only get meaner. Ruling the isle together with their friends and raising Mal.

Mal, who despite having no reason to, still comes out pretty much the same. She still chooses good. She still has the same friends and still marries Ben. Only now, she has two lizard parents who let her down and no little brother.

Because Persephone and Hades never had Hadie.

Sure, they had his three oldest siblings before they got de-aged and sure, Maleficent and Hades still had Mal.

But because Persephone and Hades didn't out last Maleficent and Hades, Hadie wasn't born.

Which of course, means they have to go back and fix both of the things they messed up and live with all of all of that knowledge.

Now after that, I'm not sure if I should end it with them just fixing all of that and nothing else.

Or if I should go into my other idea which I combine with this one.

Which is that after they fix whatever they did to mess up their parents stories, they end up landing somewhere in the past and discovering that...

Chad is somehow there.

A grown up version of Chloe's original brother.

A grown up version of Chloe's brother who should not be in a Wonderland bar, serving drinks and several years older than he should be.

They find out that he disappeared into the past on purpose out of shame and because be didn't wanna ruin their family's good name and maker things harder on Chloe than they already were.

They somehow convince him to come back to the future with them.

Only for their meddling to send them smack dab right in the middle of the Queen of Hearts hostile take over of WONDERLAND (six to eight years in Chloe and Red's past).

A couple of months before their Chad ended up in Wonderland.

There's a battle, someone gets hurt, and after some more meddling with the past, the group ends up in a better future.

Red's friends are all human again.

Red and Chloe are apparently dating.

And so on.

(This is probably headache inducing but I wanted to brainstorm and this was fun).

[delawaredetroit]

how much of overhaul’s actions are motivated by his childhood trauma, in your opinion?

imo the explanation about returning the yakuza to their former glory has only ever been a way for him to excuse/justify his actions. there are a dozen other things he could have done that would have served the same goal, many of which might not have required his quirk that much (i’m thinking things like making the yakuza a resource for the community in times of crisis (as i believe yakuza have been historically?), having his men “patrol” or act as vigilantes in areas that are underserved by heroes but need more support, etc).

instead of doing anything that meaningfully helped his community or the broader reputation of the yakuza, he pursued a goal that—actually i can’t fit it all into a sentence, so heres a list.

1) he put himself in a position of absolute authority over the organization he was part of. obviously he had to do this in order to pursue his broader goal, but i don’t think that’s the only reason why he put the boss in a coma. if he’s the one in charge then no one can hurt him, and everyone has to listen to him.

2) a central aspect of his plan seems to revolve around him keeping his quirk while everyone else has theirs removed. this is… almost exactly what AfO does, but it seems less like a power grab and more like a trauma response. if he takes everyone’s quirks then no one will ever be strong enough to hurt him again. obviously his beliefs about quirks play a role here as well, but again, i don’t think that’s the only reason he comes up with this plan specifically.

3) he’s reenacting his childhood trauma, but this time he’s in the role of the abuser—the one with power. obviously i’m not saying that everyone who’s been abused does this, but this is absolutely something that happens, and i think it’s a very reasonable explanation for why he suddenly goes off the rails when eri arrives. i know you’ve pointed out parallels between overhaul and OfA before, and i think there’s good evidence to support this specific interpretation of overhaul’s actions.

i had a fourth point but i can’t remember what it was. anyway, i know people have been weird about you comparing overhaul and AfO, and i’m coming in pretty hot with #3, so feel free to screenshot or copy/paste parts of this if you want to respond to some of it but not the rest.

sorry this got so long! love your blog and your analysis.

In retrospect, most of Overhaul's actions were in response to childhood trauma. He was not different from the other villains in that respect. But he was All for One's closest parallel, so he could not be humanized until All for One was humanized. (At least, that's the only logical explanation I can think of for that random lore drop about the origin of Decay at the end of Deku versus Shigaraki other than it was a loose end that needed to be tied up with no other place to put it).

Overhaul wasn't doing any of it to make society better or help his organization. He wanted to feel safe from anything that could potentially harm/contaminate him (quirks). Once the opportunity for that presented itself to him, he ran with it.

Overhaul put the boss in a coma because he couldn't stand the thought of the boss not being on his side. It wasn't just so he could take over the Shie Hassaikai. Similarly, All for One didn't force a quirk on Yoichi because he was a threat. It was because he couldn't tolerate the one person he cared about not following him down the same path.

True. He was certainly having less fun than All for One with all of it. All for One seemed to enjoy his larping as the demon king compared to Overhaul who started breaking out into hives whenever he believed he needed to act. (There's another parallel with Shigaraki. Both had stress related skin conditions related to their childhood trauma.)

Reenacting his trauma is a good way of phrasing what Overhaul did during his arc. The boss clearly wanted him to do what Aizawa did for Eri after she was rescued: be her babysitter/quirk counselor. It was an insane leap to jump from babysitting to human experimentation. It's not like the yakuza had the money for a pre-existing lab either. The best explanation was that he started reenacting his own childhood when presented with a child "with a quirk like his"

[ladykailitha]

Batshit Soulmates Part 5

We have finally gotten to the lake. Things start to ramp up from here.

In Medias Res| Prologue|Pt 1| Pt 2|Pt 3|Pt 4|

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

****

Eddie was having a hell of a time. Not because Steve was being rude. Because he wasn’t. Nope, the problem was that he wasn’t being rude. He was being sweet and patient. And yeah if Dustin was to be believed, it was because Steve had a big heart and not because Eddie was his soulmate.

But Eddie’s inner cynic kept telling him to poke the bear. To keep pushing Steve until his facade snapped and revealed his inner bitch.

He resisted. This was not the time for that. If they had met under any other circumstances then the world literally trying to end itself...maybe. But the world was trying to end itself and if being Steve Harrington’s soulmate meant he came out this alive, then fuck it. He was going to keep his mouth shut.

“Dustin!” Steve hissed. “Stop getting so far ahead!”

They had been wandering the fucking woods looking for the source of the compass malfunctioning for what felt like hours.

And considering that they had pulled out their flashlights pretty much confirmed that as far as Eddie was concerned.

Dustin just continued to plow on ahead. Not listening to a single thing Steve said.

But Eddie knew this place better than the kid did and he started calling out to him. “Dustin! Dustin! Dustin!”

“It’s right around–”

Eddie, who had been trying to catch up with him, managed to reach out and pull the little butthead back from what would have been a very messy and wet disaster.

Dustin would have walked right into the lake and not a gentle sloping of the shore either. It was a sheer drop off.

“Jesus!” Dustin hissed.

Steve reached them concern on his face until he saw that Eddie had him. God did Steve recognize that pose. He had done the same thing two years ago when the demodogs had rushed Dustin and him in the tunnels.

Warm relief flooded his being as mouthed ‘thank you’ to Eddie.

Eddie blushed. The butterflies that had been cocooned in his stomach since finding out Steve Harrington was his soulmate suddenly burst forth, leaving a little fluttering to warm his chest all the way through.

“It’s at the bottom of the lake?” Lucas asked, frowning.

Max came up behind him and looked across the water. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“But it’s got to be,” Dustin whined, looking down at his compass with a sneer. “There’s no other place it could be.”

“Look!” Robin cried. “The boat!” She pointed a little ways to the south.

It had somehow made it shore even with Eddie accidentally abandoning it in his fright.

They made their way over to it and found that even in his panic, Eddie hadn’t lost any of the oars for damn thing so they could at least row back to the middle of the lake.

“I’m coming,” Dustin said firmly.

“Like hell you are,” Steve huffed. “I don’t want any of you kids near that thing if it is a gate. You’re staying here and that’s final.”

“I’m coming with,” Robin said shooting her hand in the air.

Steve looked at Eddie, who nodded. Yeah, he was going to go with them.

“Look, Henderson,” Eddie said, “there’s only room on the boat for thr–” but just then Nancy stepped up and made it clear with her body language that she too was coming with and to brook no argument.

The look of gratitude on Steve’s face when Eddie had backed him up on keeping the kids on the shore set off the god damned butterflies again.

It was becoming a problem.

Steve knelt down and pushed it a little away from the shore so that it would be easier to push off. He held on to the head of the boat and motioned for them to get on.

He offered a hand to Robin and she ignored it in favor of using Eddie and his heads as supports. He offered his hand to him and Eddie steadfastly ignored it. Not because he didn’t want to take Steve’s hand but because he really, really did. He was afraid that if he took Steve’s hand there would be no letting go.

And yeah, maybe it was a bit of dick move to stick out his hand to give Nancy another option other than Steve to help her into the boat, especially since when he looked over at Steve he looked crestfallen.

Then he watched as Steve pushed the boat off with all of them in it and deftly hopped in. That did absolutely fucking nothing to calm the butterflies in his chest.

They reached the spot in the middle of the lake where Patrick had died and there was an eerie glow to the water. And immediately Steve started taking off his shoes.

“Whoa!” Robin said. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Steve looked up at her like he didn’t understand the question. “Someone has to go down there and check to see if a gate has opened right?”

“I’ll do it,” Nancy said. “I’m a strong swimmer.”

Steve scoffed. “I don’t doubt that, but unless any of you can beat co-captain of the swim team and lifeguard three years running, I’m going.”

There really wasn’t answer to that so they watched as Steve removed his socks and shoes. Well, Robin and Nancy did, but Eddie occupied himself with wrapping a plastic bag around the flashlight so it wouldn’t short the second Steve hit the water.

Steve threw his sweater at him and Eddie was faced with a shirtless soulmate and it was a god damned miracle he didn’t nut himself right then and there.

He pulled out a cigarette and immediately Robin tossed it overboard. He glared at her but she just stuck her tongue at him. He rolled his eyes and handed the now wrapped flashlight to Steve.

Steve smiled softly. “Thanks.”

They waited in stony silence as Steve dove beneath their feet. The silence stretched on the longer Steve was gone. No one wanted to say it out loud. What if it was a gate?

What if there being more than an evil wizard the Upside Down was finding ways to open its own gates? Then no amount of government oversight was going to stop the Upside Down from taking over their world.

Steve came back up. “Yeah, there’s a gate down there all right. A big one.”

But before he could even move to get back on the boat, he was yanked back under with a surprise yelp.

“Steve!” Nancy screamed and immediately dived after him.

Eddie’s eyes went wide as Robin sidled up to the side of the boat. “You’re going too?”

“Yup!”

And over she went.

Eddie began cursing and hitting at the air. He knew he was going to capsize the boat if he wasn’t careful. Or...

“Fuck.”

And he followed the two girls into the water.

****

Steve had known that touching the gate would only bring him pain and disappointment, but his lizard brain went ‘ooh glowy thingy!’ and reached out and touched it anyway.

And now he was fighting for his life in the Upside Down against large winged creatures that he was sure Dustin was going to name demo-something. Demo-bird? No, that sounded lame. Demo-eagle? That sounded just as bad.

Oh wait. He was supposed to be fighting for his life here. Not trying to name the creature trying to eat him. Like literally eat him.

Thank god for Nancy and Robin to be honest. Coming in like avenging furies and kicking the shit out the winged beasts.

Eddie coming in clutch was nice too. Watching him shatter that oar on that beastie was a little hot.

It sent off something primal in Steve that he tapped into. He sunk his teeth into the tail of the beastie that had been dragging him across this hellish landscape, snarling. The creature let go and tried to get away, but Steve wasn’t done.

Not by a long shot.

He kept a hold of the tail and began bashing the thing into the ground with a fury he didn’t understand. He stomped on the creature and ripped literally in two.

He tossed the chunk away and then spat out the black ichor, panting for breath.

He looked up to see his friends staring at him as if he had gone insane. And you know what? Fair. He felt insane.

But fighting for one’s life did that to a person.

“Fuck.”

They all gathered behind him to look at the mass of winged creatures that stood between them and the gate that would lead them back home.

Eddie pushed his hair back and let out a small whimper of distress. Steve understood the feeling.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Eddie yelled as he threw a temper tantrum right there in the middle of the hell landscape. Because yeah, Mordor was a fucking good analogy.

Everything around them was dark and twisted versions of the ones he had grown up knowing.

Nancy looked behind them. “The forest!”

They turned and ran for the cover of the trees, hoping that they weren’t running right into the flowered faces of the demogorgons.

At least Eddie didn’t know about those.

Yet.

****

Once they were under the cover of the trees they stopped to dress Steve’s wounds.

Nancy cut off strips of her shirt to bind the two gaping holes in Steve’s stomach. She walked over to where Steve was leaning against a rock face with strips in her hands. Steve hissed in pain.

“Oh god,” Robin moaned. “What if he has rabies? Do bats in the Upside Down has rabies?”

“Robin!” Steve hissed. “If you don’t shut up I will hit you!”

“Oh good,” she said with a hiccup of relief. “He’s fine. His humor is still intact.”

Eddie and Nancy looked over at her like she was crazy. Eddie watched as Nancy edged closer to Steve to put the wrapping on his wounds. Steve shoved his hands into his hair to drive the pain elsewhere.

Then Nancy dropped to her knees and Eddie ran up to them. “Here, let me do it.”

Nancy reared back her head. “What? Why?”

“Do you know how to dress wounds that deep?” he asked, breathing heavily through his nose.

“Well, no,” she replied. “But it can’t be much different than patching up a scraped knee.”

Eddie looked at her with wide eyes. “Is that really the extent of your first aid knowledge?”

“Guys!” Steve snapped. “I’m kinda bleeding out here!”

Eddie snatched the makeshift bandages from Nancy. “Calling soulmate privileges.”

Nancy rolled her eyes but stepped back.

“Hey, Stevie,” Eddie murmured. “This has got to be tight and it’s gonna hurt, but you have to stay with me, okay?”

Steve nodded, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. “Just hurry.”

Eddie pursed his lips and began wrapping around Steve’s waist, steadfastly ignoring his soulmate’s gasps and moans of pain. This close to Steve and Eddie could almost feel the pain in his own sides. The burn on his back and upper arms.

“Almost done, sweetheart,” Eddie murmured. “We’re almost done. I promise.”

“It hurts, Eds.”

“I know.” He looked up into Steve’s eyes and repeated. “I know.”

Steve opened his eyes and looked down at Eddie. “Yeah. Okay, okay.”

Nancy frowned and leaned over to Robin. “What’s going on?”

“They’re truemates,” Robin whispered back.

Nancy’s eyes went wide and she mouthed “Oh.”

“All done, baby,” Eddie cooed. “Don’t try and talk. Just squeeze my hands when you’re ready to move on.” And he gently took Steve’s hands.

A couple minutes later, Steve squeezed his hands.

“Okay,” Eddie said with a shuddering breath. “He’s ready to move on. So let’s get moving.”

****

Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Epilogue

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[pessimisticoptimistsblog]

A/N – So, here is chapter one! Lots of detail to flesh out  characters and whatnot. Plus, we see Charlie! Hopefully, I captured her character pretty well. I plan on this story mostly keeping the same pace as the show, but with a filler chapter to cover the 6 month gap. This chapter takes place before the extermination that’s in the pilot and we all know the stuff on Netflix moved pretty quickly after that.

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

I hope you guys like this! I plan on starting chapter 2 tomorrow. Depending on if my brain decides it likes me, I could have it out by Monday? Or, if you guys want a longer chapter, probably Thursday. Constructive criticism is always welcome! Enjoy! 😊

CW: Language again

Chapter One

Meeting With the Princess

~PRESENT DAY~

“Listen, Valentino, Madame C said no discounts, no exceptions. Doesn’t matter if you’re a fellow overlord, no means no. Accept that before we remove all security detail from all of your “actors”, okay?” Nia was beginning to lose what little patience she possessed; the moth demon always made her angry especially when he was trying to take advantage of her boss. Valentino knew Madame C charged the most for security details because she paid the hell hounds better than anyone else, which meant they tended to work harder and more efficiently than any other security group. And, despite wanting top-notch protection for the more profitable souls he owned, Val hated having to pay the shadowy mute so much. Every month he attempted to negotiate a lower price, and each time he would push until he was threatened with a rise in his rate or termination of their contract.

The moth demon was getting just as irritated, he was so used to getting his way with any demon he considered below him, yet the shadowed overlord in front of him never seemed phased by his tricks. Instead he glanced from the hell hound before him to Madame C, her unsettling eyes narrowed and gloved hands clasped in front of her. “Well, if there’s no convincing you, I suppose that’s that. Just know I will be exploring my options, you’re not the only one providing guards these days,” Valentino said nonchalantly before rising from his chair and crossing his arms; his last attempt to maintain some sort of superiority.

Madame C sat back in her chair, a smirk crossing her face briefly knowing Valentino was bluffing. She turned her smirk into a grin before beginning to sign for Nia to relay her message.

“My boss says, ‘I understand your frustration. If you find comparable security for a better price, please do not hesitate to cancel your service with us.’ Hope that’s clear enough for ya’ perv.” Nia’s distaste for Valentino was clear as she finished and began to move towards the closed office doors. Opening one she motioned towards a hell hound from outside, “Echo, please show Valentino here the exit. His bill has been paid and his meeting is over.”

The muscular hell hound that entered the office was one of the most intimidating Madame C employed, scars from his younger days covered his arms and most of his face and his mouth seemed set in a permanent scowl. He narrowed his eyes at the moth demon, before gesturing towards the door, “Time to go, sir.” The two men left, Valentino seething but doing his best to cling to his pride, with Nia closing the doors behind them.

Nia made her way to the shadow demons desk, flopping down into a chair with a heavy sigh. “I fuckin’ hate that bitch. Don’t know why you still do business with him, C. Prick always tries to cheat you somehow.”

*He’s a paying client. Not happily, but his money helps me make sure everyone I employ can live comfortably, including you.* Madame C gives Nia an exasperated look, she knows none of her employees truly like being assigned to Valentino in any way or even just being around the pimp, but she also knows that without his contracts the other Vees would also pull out and with them a decent percentage of her revenue would be gone.

The young hell hound threw her head back with an exaggerated groan, “I know! Doesn’t make it any easier to tolerate him.” Nia then glanced at her notebook to see who would be walking through the doors next, her red eyes widening seeing the name C. Morningstar. “Oh shit! I forgot that was today! Fuck! The princess is your last meeting, you need me to grab some tea or something? Dammit, what do royal demons like? I completely forgot, I am so sorry, ugh!” Nia was pulling at her fur, distressed she had forgotten such a big deal appointment.

White gloved hands grabbed the she wolf’s wrists and guided them to the younger girl's sides before pulling away to sign, *Breathe Nia. Go grab 3 mugs of cocoa for all of us. We have enough time before she should be here.* Madame C’s hands ceased signing and returned to the papers in front of her, sorting out what needed signed and what could be filed away. Meanwhile Nia rushed out of the office and downstairs to the kitchen, trying to make the aforementioned drinks as quickly as possible without making an obscenely large mess.

As she began to make her way up the stairs to the office, the hell hound caught sight of long blonde hair and a flash of red clothing turning the corner at the top of the stairs. Recognizing Charlie Morningstar from her recent news interview, Nia picked up her pace as carefully as possible hoping to catch up before the princess reached the office. With only a few drops of cocoa spilled, she met Charlie in front of Madame C’s doors only slightly out of breath. “Ms. Morningstar! It’s so nice to finally meet you, I’m Nia, Madame C’s assistant. I’m the one you talked to on the phone last week!”

Charlie’s grin widened, “It’s so nice to meet you! Thank you for getting Madame C to see me, I really think she’s gonna like what I have to talk to her about!” The blonde’s excitement was unrestrained, she was practically bouncing in place.

“I hope so, you made whatever it is sound like a great opportunity for us. Plus, boss lady loves working with royals. Says you all are her easiest and nicest clients!”

The two girls walked into the office, Nia making her way past Charlie to place the tray of cocoa on Madame C’s desk. The older woman looked up from organizing the remaining papers on her desk to the two girls before giving a small wave to the princess.

“Remember, Madame C can’t talk, so I’ll be interpreting for her. Usually first meetings like this are all about you pitching what you want or need, though. So whenever you’re ready, let’s hear it!” Nia smiled as she took a seat in one of the 2 chairs facing her boss, gesturing for Charlie to take the other.

The blonde took a deep breath before sitting down in the chair, pulling her own papers out of seemingly nowhere. She looked up at the demon in front of her, only seeing a shadowy outline with 2 bright green eyes already watching her. A gloved hand motioned for the princess to make her pitch. “Okay, so, I have a hotel for sinners to redeem themselves. I believe that if they work hard and do all the right things, heaven will have to let them in! And then the exorcist won’t have to come down and less sinners will have to die! It’s definitely going to work, I just have to talk to heaven… but I know they’ll say yes! They have to! But, anyway, I have the hotel and we have staff and our first resident too. The only problem is, since my interview on the news, some people haven’t exactly been open-minded or accepting and have kinda… destroyed several walls? Heh heh… but it’s totally not an issue! I know they’ll stop eventually and then they’ll all realize they want to be redeemed and come stay at the hotel!” The princess was out of breath when she paused to gauge Madame C’s reaction before moving on to what she really came for, unfortunately the shadow demon's eyes stared back almost blankly. Charlie took another deep breath and squared her shoulders, “What I’m getting at is, we could probably use a little help keeping people from blasting down our walls or breaking the door down. Plus! If sinners see that we have security to keep them safe from anyone that might want to hurt them, they’ll be even more likely to come stay! It'll a win-win!” Charlie finished with a grin, hoping the woman in front of her understood the vision she was trying to convey.

Madame C clasped her gloved hands together under her chin, the idea of redemption was intriguing to her even though she doubted many would actually want it. She began to sign while Nia translated, “Your idea is interesting. I can’t say I fully believe many sinners will want redemption, but I still would be more than happy to assign a couple of hell hounds to your hotel. The question then is, can you afford my fee? I believe Nia told you, I do not offer any discounts, not even for the princess of hell.”

At the mention of payment, Charlie cringed a little, she could afford it, but not without cutting costs elsewhere. “I was actually wondering if maybe we could make a compromise of sorts? You said you think it’s an interesting idea, so maybe you’d like to come stay at the hotel! You could stay for free, obviously, and work on redemption if you want, and then just knowing you’re there will deter people from breaking the hotel! No offense, but you have a scary reputation… But! That would work and then maybe we’d only need one hell hound that I would obviously pay for,” Charlie finished with a hopeful grin.

“No.”

One simple gesture made the princesses grin drop instantly. She glanced at the once smiling hell hound next to her to see Nia already looking apologetic. Both girls turned back to the shadow cloaked demon, Charlie ready to try again, but Madame C held her hand up to stop her. “My staying at the hotel would only put a larger target on you. And it would actually mean you would be paying for more hell hound security. I have at least 3 in this building and 2 outside at all times. Redemption is not for me either, heaven is full of hypocrisy and backstabbing. I have no interest in ever ascending to live with angels.” The last part of her explanation, Madame C’s hands and eyes expressed just how much she loathed heaven. “Unless you are willing to pay the fee you have been told, I’m afraid there is nothing more for us to talk about.”

Charlie was raking a hand through her hair, searching her brain for something, anything she could use to possibly make the older woman budge. “Isn’t there something you want or need that no one else might be able to get for you? Anything? I hate using my title, but I am the princess of hell, I can do a lot more than anyone else, except my dad of course…But please! I need this hotel to work, I have to do something to protect my people!”

Madame C smiled slightly, signing, “Unless you have some magic spell book that could give me a voice, I already have everything I could need or want. I’m sorry.” Nia seemed slightly confused as she translated, she never realized her boss might not enjoy being unable to speak. She had figured someone born with such a disability probably never cared for something they never had to begin with.

The blonde princess looked frustrated for a second, thinking over the fact she didn’t know of any such spell. Maybe her mom or dad did, but Lilith had been gone for 7 years and her dad… well.. maybe? She didn’t talk to her dad much, had no idea what he had even been doing recently. But, this hotel HAD to succeed! And she knew she’d need to ask him about a meeting with heaven anyway. There was no guarantee that such a spell existed or if Lucifer would even help a sinner, but it had to be worth a shot. Charlie’s head shot up, resolve clear on her face, “What if I can set up a meeting with my dad? Surely he’ll know how to give you a voice or if it can even be done. And then, would you make an exception on the contract? Even just a little?”

Madame C sat forward, surprised the girl in front of her would offer the one thing she had never been able to get. Schooling her features to not show just how elated her heart was for the first time in over 500 years. If anyone could break the chains her father had bound her in, it would be the king of hell. “Arrange the meeting. If he agrees, I will cover the cost of 1 hell hound so you will only be responsible for the 2nd. That is my final offer. If your father refuses to meet, no deal.”

Charlie jumped up, squealing and clapping her hands. “Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll help! Thank you thank you thank you!!! I’ll call him when I leave and I’ll let Nia know what he says by tonight!” The princess couldn’t control herself, reaching for the shadow demon’s hands and shaking them vigorously before running out of the office, excited that her plans were all falling into place. Charlie popped her head back through the office door, “Thank you! I promise, you won’t regret this!” And with that, she was gone.

Meanwhile, Madame C shook her head softly while crossing her arms. Nia looked from the now closed office doors to her boss, chuckling lowly at the energetic princess. After a minute, though, her expression changed to one of contemplation. “I didn’t realize you might have an issue, not being able to talk. I’m sure Vox coulda’ made something to help, even if ya’ don’t like the guy,” she said softly.

Looking to her assistant, Madame C debated internally if she was ready to entrust the young woman with what she was about to divulge. Ultimately, she decided Nia would be smart enough to keep this secret once she knew. Stretching her fingers for the explanation she was about to give, the older woman debated how in depth she wanted to go. Finally, *When I came to hell, I had a voice. Unfortunately, a powerful man decided he didn’t like my existence. He used his power to seal part of my soul away and my voice so that I would never be able to tell anyone what he had done. He knew it would destroy him if anyone knew about me, so he hoped that by making me weak and vulnerable a sinner would kill me before I could ever find a way to break his chains.* A sad smile graced Madame C’s face, only noticeable by the sadness and tears her eyes barely held back.

Nia couldn’t believe her boss had held onto a secret like this for so long. That the woman before her had lived in hell as long as she had and become a powerful overlord with a portion of her sealed away. Madame C had had a voice at one point. The she wolf wondered what it sounded like. “I hope the king can and will help, I think I’d really like hearing you talk. And we could always still use sign when we need to talk shit about the Vees!” The two women looked at each other with big grins, Nia laughing a little.

*We should get back to our plans for the extermination coming up, I want to ensure everyone we’re protecting is secure this time – last year was a mess. I don’t want to lose a single sinner this time.* Madame C signed after a few moments, as giddy as she was with the possibility of getting her voice back, the extermination was in a week and she couldn’t afford another mishap like last year. It may have been the sinner’s fault for skirting their security detail, but Velvette had been particularly upset about losing one of her favorite girls.

Nia mock-saluted her boss with a grin, “Yes ma’am! I’ll go grab everything we’ve got and start making contact with each of our hounds that are on the ground. No slip-ups this year, only perfection!”

Madame C watched the she-wolf skip off to the file room with a small smile fading as she fell into her thoughts and relaxed back into her chair. A gloved hand reached up to the center of her chest, anytime she came close to spilling the whole truth, she could feel the chains around her soul tighten. The ache was one she hadn’t felt in so long, but she knew that if she gained this meeting with Lucifer she’d have to endure it again to hopefully sway him. The green-eyed woman felt so nervous but also hopeful, more so than she had since she was a small girl, running through trees with her mother. While she would never see the woman again, if she could get her voice back, she could finally get her revenge on the man who had ruined everything

A few short hours later, Nia and Madame C were wrapping up their last check-in calls and making notes of any sinners they suspected might try something stupid on extermination day. They both jumped slightly at the sound of Nia’s hell phone buzzing briefly on the table. The she-wolf put her pen down and checked the notification, her ears perking up at seeing the name C. Morningstar. She quickly unlocked her phone and clicked the text pop-up, red eyes scanning the message before a large grin split her face. Tail wagging, Nia looked at her boss, “She did it! You have a meeting with Lucifer 3 days after the extermination!”

~ A/N ~ likes and comments are appreciated and make me squeal a little every time!

[luvvvivii]

"i love you" — l.fl

pairing - idol!felix x gn!reader

genre - fluff, imagine

wc - 705

warnings - not proofread (surprise surprise), a bunch of pet names used (my love, angel, dear), lmk if more

a/n - I'm back suckas!!! 😋 enjoy this small felix post whilst I start to get back into the groove of writing (also abt the writing, times next to the date is in readers time zone)

synopsis - in which your idol boyfriend sends you voice notes whilst he's away

02.16.23 — 1:05 am

"good morning dear. actually, I think it's night for you right now? you better be asleep, alright? haha, it feels odd not being able to speak to each other how we usually would, doesn't it? but I guess this is what idol life is like? *chuckle* anyways, how was your day? did you do anything fun today? I hope you're eating good as well…I might head out for a bit with chan, so I'll talk with you later? sweet dreams angel. I love you!"

02.17.23 — 6:37 pm

"hey yn, you're asleep right? this is usually when you have your evening naps. don't be taking an all nighter again after this, though. I know you really like that show but sleep is important too you know? *chuckle*...today is day one of our concert in melbourne. I'm back in australia after so long, and I'm super excited! it's a shame I can't be here with you right now, but at least I can still update you and stuff. I can't wait to meet even more stays—oh, that's minho calling. sorry yn, got to go. I'll update you all about it after! enjoy the rest of your night, I love you."

02.18.23 — 12:53 pm

"hey dear, have you eaten yet? sorry I couldn't send any voice notes this morning, I woke up late and had to rush. day two of our concert was amazing! oh gosh, I wish you were here. hey, I don't think I told you about the dream I had last night, did I? well, we were just about to head to sydney for our tour there, and then suddenly you gave us a surprise visit! that's pretty much it, I woke up after that. haha, it seemed so real I even looked around for you whilst I was still half awake! *sigh* well, I think I'm going to go to sleep now, sorry for such a boring voice note today. have a good day, I love you angel."

02.20.23 — 3:31 pm

"yn, I'm so tired. but I can't go to sleep. *laugh* I was on my phone and got completely carried away, and now it's two am!...I think I might just start yapping about something with you, like how we always do when neither of us can sleep. that's what always helps me get tired…not that I'm saying you're boring! *chuckle* what I'm trying to say is…I just feel so at ease when I know that you're listening to me talk…let's not get depressed now, haha. how is your day going dear? doing anything fun today? make sure to send pictures, I haven't been able to see your pretty face in a while. you know, I think I might head off now, starting to feel a bit drowsy. we've got day one in sydney tomorrow, so I'll probably talk to you about it all later. goodnight my love, I love you to the moon and back."

02.21.23 — 2:01 am

"yn! it's finally day one in sydney! ah, I really wish you were here right now. you'll be cheering me on from back at home, right? I know you'll be looking for videos after the concert haha. make sure to have fun today angel! and I'll make sure to pour my heart and soul into the performances for you, like I always do. sorry for this voice note being so short, but I've got to go. I love you!"

02.22.23 — 3:19am

"sydney day 2! ah, you really don't understand how overwhelming this experience is, yn. this is absolutely crazy, but I've probably already said this a ton, right? *laugh*...you know, I hope one day we can travel to australia together, and I could show you all my favourite places to go and things to do from when I was a kid. but that's saved for the future! just wait a bit longer, my love, I'll be back home faster than you can believe. and cheer me on today as well, alright! I'll do the same for you dear. I've got to go now, an exciting concert ahead. I love you."

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