#but pretty much all of them have said how they want to go to 2025
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rexxdjarin · 2 days ago
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Clone x OC Week 2025
Day 1 Introduction/First Meeting
Captain Rex x OC: Mari Vontas
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For those who have been around awhile, im sure you’ve seen my obsessive info dumping brain rot over these two. As part of this amazing event created by @clonexocweek I’ve created a mood board for my OC: Mari Vontas and Captain Rex’s first meeting introduction from my long fic Unwritten.
More info on my OC: Mari Vontas can be found here.
A quick blurb from Unwritten Chapter 1 below the cut.
(While the particular excerpt below isn’t 18+ the entire work itself very much is. Proper tags and tw are in each chapter summary. As usual my fics are all assumed 18+ unless otherwise stated.)
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The medic spoke first, “How can we help you, pretty lady?” His brown eyes crinkled into a very kind smile, not a hint of the suggestive nature that twinkled in Fives’ dark pupils before.
“Actually, I’ve got a gift for Captain Jaig Eyes, here,” Mari said rather seductively, twisting the very full whiskey glass in her wrist and biting her bottom lip into an alluring smile. The captain looked up with a jolt, the medic’s elbow to his bicep pulling him from his concentration on the datapad.
“Huh? Did Fives ever get my dri…?” He froze, as his beautifully warm amber eyes traveled from the glass in her hand up the curves of her side to meet her gaze. His mouth dropped open in surprise and his eyes went wide, in shock at the sight of Mari before him.
It was actually quite cute to get such an innocent response from the most highly regarded man at the table. The two yellow clones across from them whistled an amazed approval of her and suddenly the captain was very aware of every set of eyes around him waiting to gauge his response. But he didn’t move. He sat dumbfounded before her, his mouth unable to form the rest of his sentence.
Mari stepped forward, completely unfazed by the tension of the situation, and sat in the empty chair beside him. He reached forward to take the whiskey from her hand, but she jerked it away.
“No, the drink is for me.” She brought the glass to her lips and sipped, maintaining direct eye contact with him as her tongue slipped past her lips. He raised a confused brow and cocked his head slightly before she set down the glass and slid forward in her chair. She leaned into him, staring deeply into his brown eyes, and ran a few gentle fingertips along his durasteel jaw. “I’m your gift,” she whispered, running a thumb across his bottom lip and smirking at him.
He closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh, setting his datapad on the table. He ran his gloved hand awkwardly down his buzzed blonde hair at the nape of his neck and met her gaze again. He looked nervous, but the excited sparkle in his eyes was all she needed to see to know that he was more than interested.
“Boys… give me a minute,” he finally huffed out, glaring at the rest of the table and silently ordering them to get lost. Mari smiled at the gesture, grateful that he wanted to talk–just the two of them alone. Already a good sign of how respectable he was, even when she was being so bold.
The hastily dismissed soldiers muttered excitedly to themselves, giggling like schoolboys at their captain actually trying something for once. They all filed away from the table toward where Fives stood with his jaw dropped at the bar. 
“So, do you have a name or am I going to have to keep calling you Captain Jaig Eyes?” Mari joked, pointing to his helmet in front of him. 
He smiled, impressed that she recognized the symbol so easily. “The name’s Rex. Don’t think it’d be polite to have you call me any of the other names I usually prefer,” he said, shrugging casually as if he hadn’t just commanded at least four men to do exactly as he asked without question.
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limerence-leftovers · 3 months ago
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I know two men who are currently single. One is 26, and the other is 38.
I’ve spoken with both of them at length about what they want in a woman, seeing as they’re cishet and white.
They both immediately went for physical attributes. Thin, but needs to have a nice butt. Boobs can’t be too big. One likes short hair, the other likes long hair. They also went into facial features for some reason. That was the part that made me really uncomfortable as I hadn’t expected either of them to have been that focused on appearances.
Aesthetics came next. Both want ‘alt goth / witchy’ women. It should be worth noting both of these men said their potential partner can’t wear too much makeup.
Lastly came personality and interests. They both said this is the most important thing to them, but they also ‘have to be pretty’. Oh, and they need to listen.
I have some single ladies I’ve also spoken with.
It’s the opposite. They rarely care about looks. It’s about chemistry, emotional connection, feeling safe, and sharing common goals / ideals.
While I know it’s not ‘all men’ it sure as fuck is a lot of you. Also both of these men think they’re part of the ‘good cishet white liberal men’ who voted for Kamala, despite one of them not voting at all.
He’s the 38 year old. To make things worse, he’s trying to date a 24 year old. 🤷‍♀️ His criteria for a potential partner was also under the age of 30 because it means less baggage and they’re still ‘fun to be around’.
You don’t want to know what he doesn’t bring to the table. Either of them, rather. 😅
We do have a male loneliness epidemic, but it’s not women’s fault. We don’t owe you anything. We’re not vending machines you put tokens into and get sex out of. Male culture made by men and perpetuated by men has made men this way. And it’s your job as men to fix it, not point the finger at us and say it’s our fault for not wanting to be with you. Some of us like myself want to actually HELP you, but you guys rarely want to listen. You instead want to complain to us about our gender and how unfair we’re being by not giving you a chance.
We don’t owe you anything.
On January 20th, 2025 and forward, they’re going to try to take our rights. They may succeed.
Men have to take from us because they’ve gaslit themselves into seeing us as the enemy, despite having driven us away by their own actions centered around self interest.
“It’s not all men. But it sure is a lot of you.”
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cottonlemonade · 1 month ago
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First Date
word count: 1251 || avg. reading time: 5 mins.
pairing: University AU!Tsukishima x chubby!Reader
genre: fluff
warnings: none
request: i have been giggling and squealing for the past 20 minutes over how cute and genius the request form is 😭 LIKE ITS SO SMART AND ADORABLE I HAD TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT IT. so anyways me and Tsukishima are getting 15 and 25 for breakfast, and then we'll go home to study! || fluffy, members of the same club, first date with crush Tsukki
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Tsukishima never subscribed to the tradition of New Year's resolutions. In his mind, why bother setting unrealistic goals for oneself only to be disappointed? Whenever his friends and family asked, never learning their lesson, he would adjust his glasses and say, “Nothing.”, then silently add get saltier 2025. When he entered the gym for the first time after the winter break, however, he had to rethink. You were standing on a little stepladder, struggling to detach the last bit of Christmas decoration you had insisted on hanging on the walls before everyone went home for the holidays. Your chubby tummy looked even softer now bumping out your seasonal sweater.
“You know, if you can’t take them down by yourself, maybe you shouldn’t have put them up in the first place.”, he grumbled.
“Oh, hey, and a happy new year to you, Tsukki!”, you said brightly, turning to him and waving.
His heart did a little jump at the gesture.
Unfortunately, he had fallen for you pretty early on in your career as club manager when you bonded over your mutual hatred of overzealous people and loud obnoxious music played in department stores, and artificial watermelon flavor. He had since imagined you two walking across campus hand in hand, sharing more things to despise together. But in order to do that, he had to ask you out first. A hurdle he decided to take this year.
In his first draft of a date idea, he wanted to invite you out to dinner, but that was strongly vetoed by his wallet. Thus, a simple coffee would have to do for now. He shifted slightly, tapping the tip of his shoe on the floor to find an angle with which to direct the conversation where he needed it. Lucky for him, you did it yourself, although not in a way he hoped.
“Mikoshiba asked me out over Christmas, by the way.”
Tsukishima grimaced. He hated both the thought and the easy-going redhead, who all too much reminded him of the former Nekoma captain.
“Ah.”, he said, looking at a despicably jolly Santa bauble in the box sat on the top of the stepladder. An internal battle between wanting to ask for details and immediately smack-talking the other guy rose in his chest. Again, you made it easy for him.
“I didn’t go, though.”
“Hm. How come?”
You finally got the end of the garland off the wall, with no help from the tall boy, who could have grabbed it without effort.
He was met with a shrug.
“Not really my type. And he asked me out for coffee, which, I dunno, just feels pretty uninspired for a first date. I get that it’s a classic, but I wouldn’t mind some creativity.”, you hopped back onto the floor, “Plus, cafés around here are super overpriced.”
“Right.”
After trying your best to stuff the long prickly decoration into the box, you went to put it all away and, looking over your shoulder, you saw that he hadn’t moved from his spot next to the ladder where you left him.
You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but something about him was off today. More so than usual. Box in your arms, you came to a halt in front of a closed door. You turned on your heel, tilting your head in question.
“Could you open the door to the supply closet, please?”, you asked sweetly, since there was no indication he would be coming to your aid. He seemed deep in thought.
“Hm? Oh, yeah. Sure.”
It only took him three steps with those long legs to reach you. Before he pushed down the door handle, however, he said, “There is a limited New Year’s hot bun out at the convenience store.”
You blinked in confusion.
“Okay?”
“It’s one with sweet potato noodles and stuff. You like those.”
“I… I do. Thanks, I’ll check it out.”
The door remained closed, his hand still on the handle.
“There is a two-for-one sale.”, he went on after a pause.
You frowned, so completely lost as to the point of this conversation because it was obviously not informing you of a banging sale. “... Nice.”
He suppressed an impatient click of his tongue. This was going horribly, how dense could someone be?
“We can go together.”, he said.
“Alright…?”
“Like… today. I’m going there now anyway. I wouldn’t mind if you came along.”
“Uhm. Okay, yeah, I can do that.”
“Okay.”
“So are you gonna open this door any time soon or…”
“Right.”
Tsukki didn’t speak much with you as you headed to the convenience store. He pointed out a dog in a sweater for no reason at all and then went silent again. You still couldn’t figure out why he wanted you to come with him. Usually, he avoided any unnecessary social situation and in your opinion, this was as unnecessary as it got. You were roughly 94 percent sure he could handle getting the buns by himself.
“We should just eat here while we’re at it.”, he said as the glass doors slid open.
Maybe he had trouble with his roommate again and wanted to prolong going home, you speculated. In that case, you were pretty touched that he preferred your company over having none at all.
Food was gathered and warmed up and you took the two free seats at the small wooden table by the onigiri shelf. Watching you struggle to open a can of soda for a few seconds he took it from you with a surprisingly gentle, “Here. Let me.” then set it back down in front of you.
“Thanks.”
You ate in silence. Some current chart songs were coming from the overhead radio and you lightly bobbed your head along as you bit happily into the delicious hot bun. Tsukki placed a fried dumpling he had picked out as well on the plastic lid of your open container. “Try these. They’re good.”
“Famks.”, you mumbled through stuffed cheeks of sweet potato noodles and stuff, then eyed him suspiciously as you swallowed.
Either he was trying to discreetly poison you or, “Tsukki… is … is this a date?”
“What? No.”, he said quickly and lowered his head when the store clerk looked over.
“Oh okay. Just making sure.” You went back to the food, spearing the dumpling with your chopsticks but keeping an eye on him.
“If it were, it would be definitely more creative than a café though, right?”
You paused midair to your bite.
“So this is a date.”
“Yes. - No. I dunno. Don’t make it weird, okay?”
You slowly spun the dumpling around, studying Tsukki’s pink ear tips.
Never in a million years would you have guessed that this guy, who never had a nice word for anyone and less enthusiasm than a snail on a Sunday afternoon, could ever ask you out.
You considered him for a moment. He was pretty cute the way he avoided your gaze now. It was worth a try.
“Do you… like jazz?”
Tsukki squinted at you in disbelief.
“What’s wrong with you?”, he furrowed his brow but was unable to hide a relieved chuckle in there.
“Well, it was getting awkward so when in doubt, Bee Movie to the rescue.”, you laughed in your defense.
He finally cracked a proper smile and rubbed the back of his neck.
“Agh, okay, the next date is going to be better, I swear.”
You both nodded and grinned quietly at your dumplings, then continued to eat.
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a/n: 🥺🥺🥺 dear anon, thank you so so much for that sweet message and I apologize about the delay! I hope you enjoyed this story nonetheless 🌟
Also borrowing Mikoshiba for this aka the only straight character from Free!
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mo-ons-stuff · 1 month ago
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Pick a Card: Your Love Life in 2025
Any card!
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Pile one -> Pile two ↓ Pile Three
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Pile One
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I'm hearing that you're going to experience this fairytale kind of love. The one where Cinderella and Prince Charming find each other. They dance at the ball, yadda yadda yadda. You're going to experience it all, so I don't have to reaaalllly go into that much detail. It'll be great.
Except, since I also see that you'll love this person persistently, right? But there's also gonna be a minor issue. They're perfect, sure, but there's that one thing that gets you a bit like... hmmmm.
Aka, ~the ick~.
Now, pile one, you're going to have to get real for a moment. Is it an ick, or is it normal? Can you really chastise someone for existing as, like, a human being?
This year will bring you great love, but also great lessons. You may need to learn how to grow with other people. Meaning, you've done the work to get comfortable with yourself, but are you comfortable with other people? I don't see so. You're actually a bit more judgmental than you thought, to the point where you don't realize it. You may think of yourself as a person who is graceful to others, so maybe try seeing where this thought blocks you from actually giving grace.
Sometimes we get so caught up in our own lives that we forget to focus on growing with other people, too. The thing you're gonna have to remember is to get out of your own head. Touch grass. I don't see that you don't but maybe look at the grass for what it is instead of triumphantly exclaiming that you did the thing.
So, in tandem with what I just said, your love life will go just perfectly. I doubt that this lesson will fly over your head, so try not to ruin a good thing for yourself and it will all be good. You're going to get your happily ever after.
Want me to elaborate? Consider a paid reading!
Pile Two
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Not going to lie, this pile is similar to pile three in the sense that you've gone through a bit. Life has a habit of throwing things at you, so you are used to bracing yourself. However, where others haven't done the work, you have. Where there was lack before, there is abundance now. You cultivated the wastelands and have conquered mountains. You've done so much and now all is left is... love?
You're pretty balanced as an individual. Nicely enough, this actually attracts people. That. Is. So. Crazy !!!! <- I'm getting that you'll be thinking back on this year and it's interactions like that. Literally, though, it's going to blow your mind how when push comes to shove... your efforts actually led to good results. You're going to see what it's like in action.
It's not like it's going to be too unbelievable. It's literally just a new normal. And, it takes getting used to.
When you do get used to it, dating itself is going to be really nice. You'll know how to get around and find someone. This is going to be less of a surprise to you; I'll explain why.
This lover is very bumbly (almost clumsy) and sweet, and meanly enough you may not consider them an option at first. It's not personal, you just didn't. But they are also kind of obvious too. It's just endearing, honestly. They're a bit silly, with all of this as I'm reading like awww they're so cute. You won't have to worry about the cruelty of the world with them. They're a human with emotions and complications do arise because of that, but you know how to navigate these things and so do they.
Not going to lie, some of you are afab wlw, and others are afab but straight. This person could be either gender, so basically take it as it resonates for the gender you're into.
*gif unrelated. Tahani is hot and a baddie.
Want me to elaborate? Consider a paid reading!
Pile Three
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"I am trying to find myself. Sometimes that's not easy."- Marilyn Monroe
Admittedly, and I mean admittedly because you know this deep down, pile three, but admittedly you know that your love prospects haven’t been good. You are aware of why, too. There’s a truth that you’re running from, all because it’s a bit too painful to process. And it makes you choose the same hurt again and again. The devil often comes knocking at your door, and you haven’t comprehended that maybe you shouldn’t fall for the different clothes or his sweet words.
All of that is to say: gain more self-awareness. You’re falling for the same tricks in different clothes because you aren’t aware of what you need to do to not let this in. Boundaries are powerful only because they stop things that aren't meant for you in your life. Don't forget: you not liking things and acting accordingly is a boundary, too.
To speak from the heart for a moment: I kept wondering why certain types of people were "attracted" to me, like I was a magnet for bad. But, as it turns out, I've learned that other people tolerate bullshit so much less. Meaning, I was not attracting these people. They interact with others too; I was letting them in where others wouldn't. If you're suffering, and you notice that the people around you aren't, they're doing something you haven't been doing. Maybe you subconsciously tolerate less, or maybe you even consciously ignore the voice in your head telling you to get away.
You can only ever subconsciously tolerate less by consciously getting disgusted at tolerating more.
Actionable advice to change your future: if confronting the monster that needs to be confronted is too hard for you, chip away at its hard scales slowly but surely. Keep your distance at the times you need to, and confront it head on when you need to. It takes patience and you may get burned, but experience is the best teacher. Look to others who have been through the same thing as you and be completely open to trying what they have successfully used to combat their disorders, addictions, and trauma (always get medical professional help first though).
This is a you year. One day at a time, you will get better. And when the next new year rolls around, maybe you'll have learned enough to finally embrace a year of romantic prosperity and abundance. I see that this pile is actually lowkey full of baddies, pulling a quote by Marilyn Monroe isn't for weak personalities.
On a final note, don't get discouraged by this message. One year in a life is a drop in the ocean. You most likely won't remember the lonely times when you finally do reach the other side of the hardships. All that matters is that you get comfortable with *you*, and what's meant for you will soon follow.
Want me to elaborate? Consider a paid reading!
Thank you for reading!
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shinysobi · 2 months ago
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pretty u
summary: when joshua, your best friend gets engaged, you can't help but feel as though you're missing out on something important. jihoon, your other best friend, kindly offers to set you up with one of his many friends. chaos ensues, seungkwan is an observer who knows everything, and unfortunately, mingyu is a hapless victim.
pairing: woozi x fem!reader
genre: crack, fluff, angst, light smut
word count: 11k~ish (NOW YOU SEE WHY IT TOOK ME SO LONG)
warnings: alcohol consumption, general warnings apply,
a/n: this is the final chapter, a doozy because i dragged my feet instead of completing it. but i wanted to finish this for the new years, and so, here we are, a belated merry christmas present from me to you, and hopefully i can write more in 2025 a/n 2: comments and reblogs are always much appreciated, and i'd like to know your thoughts about this story heheheh
chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4
Chapter 4
Its funny, how easy it is, to slip into habits. Old habits, ones that have seeped into your routine over time. I wake up, check my phone for emails. I make coffee, check my phone for emails. I get dressed for work, check my phone for emails. On weekends, I do chores leftover from the week, read books I have to write reviews of.
I would most certainly not be taking a nap in the middle of a Saturday with Lee Jihoon. I would not be lying down in my bed, lying next to, nay, cuddled up with, Lee Jihoon. If anyone had told me, even a few hours ago, that I would be snuggled up with Lee Jihoon, my best friend since university. Wait. Can we even call ourselves friends?
“Jihoon.” I whisper, elbowing him in the ribs. “Jihoon.”
“Mm, five more minutes,” he mutters, “I’ll get up then.”
“Hey, wasn’t your meeting with the producers this afternoon?” I ask, “you’ll be getting in a world of trouble because you didn’t show up.”
“I won’t be getting in any trouble.” Jihoon replies, voice thick with sleep, “I’m the terrible child of the company. They’ll keep me around as long as I make good songs for them, they’ll change meeting times when I ask them to. They’ll do anything as long as I’m happy.”
“You’re taking advantage of your position,” I smile, shifting closer to him, “anyone would think you have a horrible work ethic.”
“It’s all okay when it’s regarding my—wait, what are we?” Jihoon sits up in the bed, still half-dressed, “are we still friends?”
“Depends. Do you kiss your friends?” I sit up, facing him, “then we’re friends. Otherwise, we’re not.”
Jihoon pulls a face, “I just imagined kissing one of the boys. Ew, no, never.”
“Then I suppose we aren’t friends anymore.” I smile, leaning in, “we’re something else, then.”
“Can I call you my girlfriend yet, or no?”
I laugh. From this angle, his face is soft, so soft it feels as though he’ll evaporate if I try to touch him, “depends. Do you kiss your girlfriends?”
Jihoon grins, pressing his lips to mine, “all the time.”
“M-hmm,” I smile, touching his cheeks, soft and pliable underneath my fingers, “Woozi, aren’t you being a little presumptuous? All the time? What do you mean all the time?”
He pulls a face, “I swear to god, if you start some bullshit again, I’m going to break up with you.”
“And we’ve been together for what, three hours? That has got to be a new record, even for you, Jihoon.” I say, laughing as Jihoon tackles me to the pillows, “not to mention you’ve been pining over me for the past what—six, years, since you went for your military service. Imagine liking someone for that long, and not telling anyone about it.”
“At least I had the decency to keep it to myself like a normal adult,” Jihoon replies, “you on the other hand, you were a wreck after a week. Imagine being that down bad over a man. You should be repulsed by yourself. What would Andrea Dworkin say?”
“And that’s it, we’ve had a good run, bye,” I begin, trying to get out of bed, but Jihoon stops me, “let me go. You said yourself that I should be repulsed because I like you.”
“Three hours and five minutes,” Jihoon replies, “not bad at all, given that two of them were spent sleeping.”
“Really, who the fuck sleeps after getting together with someone? It’s like, violating the first ethics of relationships,” I grumble, “imagine kissing your best friend, who’s now your boyfriend, who then proceeds to take a nap in your bed? Who would do that?”
“Were you disappointed?” Jihoon asks, his expression changing to sly, “were you expecting something else?”
I roll my eyes, struggling to get out of his grip, but unfortunately, all the hours Jihoon has put in the gym has now created a reality where I can no longer get out of his grip, “no, I wasn’t, I was just expecting you to not snore on me after kissing me in my living room.”
His face falls, and he is about to say something, when my phone rings loudly, making me jump, “what the hell? Why is your ringtone so loud?”
“It’s not!” I reply, “I just forgot to switch it back to silent after coming back home today. I had it set on full volume last night. And give that to me.” I swipe to accept the call,  and soon enough, Jeonghan’s voice floats through the speakers.
“How are you two doing?” Jeonghan asks, and I stare at Jihoon, who seems to be equally confused as me.
“Jihoon said he was going to meet you, I figured that you two might have finally gotten your shits together,” he clarifies, “I’m not that old, nor do I have enough sense to stay out of your affairs.”
“Yes, yes, hyung, you’re the nosiest of us all,” Jihoon grumbles from next to me, “yes, we’re doing fine, thank you very much.”
“Great!” I can hear the barely-concealed glee in his voice, “Chan, tell the rest of the guys to pay up. I’m the only one who guessed correctly that they were going to get together by today.”
“Pay up—wait, hyung, you were betting on my love life?” Jihoon screeches, “why the hell would you do that?”
“I’ve seen and heard you pine over her for the past eight years, you nitwit, of course, I’m going to host a betting pool for when you finally get together. Not to mention, you’ve just made me an entirely obscene amount of money, which I’m going to spend happily.”
“Wait, if you knew Jihoon was going to come to see me, why did you take so long to call us?”
“I was being polite.”
“For what?”
“Well, if you two were having sex, I would not like to be calling in the middle of it now, would I?” he giggles even as Jihoon and I both let out twin gasps of surprise, “What? Did you not put years of sexual tension into use?”
“That’s inappropriate, hyung.”
“So, you haven’t.”
“Oppa!”
“Fine, fine, I’ll stop.” Jeonghan lets out one final demonic cackle (still cannot believe I called him my angel once), “I’ll let you two lovebirds be together. Oh, and Soonyoung told me to tell you, Jihoon, that he’ll take care of the meeting today. You can take a day off once in a while.”
“Thanks, hyung, I’ll go back to sleeping,” Jihoon mutters, handing the phone over to me and immediately burrowing himself in the sheets to get some more sleep.
“I’ll make myself scarce then, shall I?”
“Wait, oppa,” I say, thinking very hard, “you did this on purpose didn’t you?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I mean the whole situation. You were the one who kept telling me about how long Jihoon has liked me for, and you were the one who I called before Jihoon took the phone away from you and talked to me.” My voice takes on an accusatory note, “Yoon Jeonghan, did you manipulate me and Jihoon into confessing so that you could win a bet?”
“I will neither confirm nor deny that accusation.”
“So, you did.” I stand up from the bed, ignoring Jihoon, who’s already snoring softly, “Yoon Jeonghan, you better give us a share of the pool.���
Jeonghan laughs on the other end of the phone, “fine, fine, I will. I’ll take you and Jihoon out for samgyeopsal this week. Cool?”
“Just so you know, while we both will be there, I still don’t appreciate this.”
“Come on, writer,” Jeonghan wheedles, “anyone could see that you were both circling each other for half a decade. It was exhausting to watch, you know.”
“Fuck you.”
“Love you too!” he hangs up, and I go back to bed, sidling up to Jihoon, who hugs me in his sleep. Its nice, being this way. I can pretend that the world is just the two of us, in my bed, sleeping in the afternoon.
Jihoon doesn’t look lonely anymore. In fact, he looks happy, smiling even in his sleep. When was the last time I saw him like that? A memory floats up to my mind, of another afternoon, spent in Jihoon’s  flat, after we’d all finished giving the final exams. Jihoon had a job lined up with a production company, and I was about to start working with an online fashion magazine. Joshua was in graduate school, and everything was fine. We spent that one afternoon watching trashy soap operas on Netflix, drank too much booze and smoked too many cigarettes, and finally, just before we went to sleep, I could swear I saw a ghost of a smile on Jihoon’s face.
Until a week later, when his enlistment notice came, and I never saw that smile again. But now it is there, and I can reach out and touch him, and I can see his face relax even more under my touch, as if Jihoon had been craving it, even in his denial. I probably have, even after so long. Years of wondering ‘what if’ and now, finally, it’s here.
“Jihoon,” I whisper, “Jihoon.”
“What?” he burrows further into the blankets, “I’m cold now.”
“Jeonghan kind of manipulated us both into getting together.”
“He did?” Jihoon mumbles, “good for him, I now have a girlfriend.”
Jihoon wakes up in the middle of the evening, and shakes me awake too, because he’s hungry and I have to cook for him.
“I’m the one who told you about this apartment, so you kind of owe me,” he says, perched on a stool, “and no ramen, please. I’ve been living on that for so long I know all flavours that are there, and the convenience store guy looks at me strangely whenever I go inside.”
“Yes, yes, I know,” I mutter, chopping up vegetables to put in a stew, “I don’t have anything in the house, so you’re going to have to be happy with a random stew of things I found lying in the fridge.”
“That’s fine.” He replies, “at least I don’t have to starve.”
“Yes, Mr Woozi, I appreciate the concern, now wash the rice.”
Lunch (dinner? Linner?) is kimchi stew, with old vegetables and things that were almost going bad, but he eats it like it’s a Michelin-starred restaurant meal. Jihoon is not really picky: I’ve seen him eat everything from day-old scraps to a croissant that was growing mould on it (the less said about that the better) but us eating in my kitchen, this feels strangely domestic to me, in a way that’s almost scary.
“Are you scared?” Jihoon asks, spooning up rice into his mouth, “don’t worry, I’m scared too.”
I stare at him, “have you become psychic, by any chance? Do you want to change your profession to shaman?”
“I’d be a shitty shaman either way,” he replies, “the only person I know how to read well is you. You have that look on your face, so I asked.”
“What look?”
“The look that you get when you’re terrified of something, but you also want to do it.”
“I don’t have a look.”
Jihoon stares at me, “You totally do, I know it; it’s the same look you got when you attempted to take that class on Psychoanalysis in second year.”
“I sucked at it.”
“That’s not the point. The point is, you were terrified, but you also wanted to do it, I know that look. You might think you’re fooling people, and you can, but the last person you can fool is me; Joshua, to an extent, but I doubt he’s made a hobby of reading your every expression over a period of eight years.”
I make a face. Jihoon notices, because of course he does, “that’s the face you make when you don’t like what the other person is saying, but you know that they’re right.”
“That’s unfair, Jihoon.”
“Is it? I’ve known you for so long, of course I should know about your expressions.” He smiles, before leaning over to kiss me on the cheek, “that’s the expression you make when your surprised.”
“Then don’t fucking surprise me!” I press a hand to my cheek, “what was the reason for that?”
“Nothing, just making sure I didn’t dream up the last few hours, and that I can really kiss you whenever I feel like it.”
“I have to want it too, you know. Also, when did you get so keen on physical affection? I’ve literally never seen you be this way with anyone before.’
He shrugs, “I wasn’t pining over those people for years, so that’s there, too.”
I don’t know what to say to this, so I just laugh at his words, “Jihoon, aren’t you being a bit hard on them?”
“On who?”
“The women you’ve dated. The people I’ve dated. Like it or not, they are a part of us. They’ve made us into the kind of people we are today.” I take a sip of the soup, “would you have asked me out if we were in university? Or after you came back from the military?”
He pauses to think about it, chewing thoughtfully on a piece of kimchi, “probably not.”
“And even if you did, we would have hated each other, and broken up in a week. So, let’s not talk about the people who have given a part of their lives to us.”
Jihoon nods, “understood. Does this mean you’re going to invite your exes to your wedding?”
I laugh, “not to that extent, no, but I will respect them for their time and affection that they gave to me because for better or for worse, they were a part of who I was, before I fell in love with you.”
“Fell in love?” Jihoon gasps, “are you saying you’re in love with me?”
“As if this was even part of the question. Of course I’m in love with you.” I take a deep breath, standing up to clear out the remnants of dinner, “I don’t know how to say this properly but, I’ve loved you all throughout the time I’ve known you. As a friend, as a lover, as my family here in Seoul. I’ve loved you all the time. At the risk of sounding cringe, there has not been a time when I haven’t been full of love for you. Even if it didn’t seem that way, I’ve loved you for years.”
Jihoon doesn’t say anything, instead wraps me into a hug, “have you been taking lessons on how to deliver a speech?”
“Why, yes, I have.”
He giggles, which is a rare sound coming from him, “I’ve always loved you too. Even if I didn’t show it, even if I didn’t express it well, I have loved you.”
I kiss him, “sorry for taking all this time to realise my feelings.”
He shakes his head, “no, don’t be sorry for that. The way you are, the way you will be, I’ll always love you.”
I text Eunseo in the evening, asking her to meet me for coffee. Joshua and Jihoon are both too busy for brunch, so I have some time to burn. Eunseo texts me back within minutes, eagerly agreeing to meet me. I text her the name of the same café the three of us go to for brunch.
“You look great,” Eunseo says as soon as I walk in, “did something great happen?”
I stare at her. She’s dressed to go out this morning, wearing a light green dress under a heavy brown coat. In comparison, I’m wearing my office pants and a white shirt. We’re dressed miles apart. Saying that I look good is almost an insult.
But Eunseo doesn’t insult anyone, even knowingly, so I take my seat and say, “you’re joking.”
“No, not at all,” she replies, “you’ve got this glow that I cannot really put my finger on. It seems as though something great happened in the past few days.”
“Well, I did begin seeing Jihoon, so,” I shrug, but Eunseo is already clapping her hands in joy, “what? What’s going on?”
“Wait, I have to tell Joshua to come meet us,” she chirps, “I’m not saying anything until he comes back, but I’m so happy for you, you have no idea.”
Joshua, who was looking at suits in the morning, comes to the café within minutes, by which we already have ordered a bunch of things. He comes in looking harried, and the first thing he says, “I thought this was an emergency! You texted me she was dying!”
Eunseo laughs, “that was the only way to get your attention, josh, I’m so sorry.” Her expression shows that she isn’t sorry at all.
“No, you’re not,” Joshua sits down on the chairs, “you’re not sorry at all, Eunseo.”
They share a sweet moment, and normally, I’d pull a face and call them cringe, but today, I just don’t feel like it. maybe it’s the hormones of being in a relationship, or maybe I’m finally growing soft around the edges, but I think, what would happen if I text Jihoon to come see us right now? He’d probably scowl and refuse, but I can’t help but imagine the two of us in place of Joshua and Eunseo, sharing a nice moment. This is it; I think to myself, this is the moment you realise you’ve gone entirely crazy because of a man.
“Anyway,” I say loudly, interrupting the two of them, “Eunseo called you here because I have an announcement.”
Joshua stares at the two of us, “is she dying?”
“No! What the fuck, Joshua, I’m not dying!” I say, irritated by this line of conversation, “as I was telling Eunseo, I’m not dying, I just began seeing Jihoon.”
“But you can see him all the time,” Joshua says, still clueless as ever.
“Romantically. Joshua, romantically. We’re dating.” I say, rolling my eyes.
Joshua stares at me, speechless for a whole ten seconds, before he starts laughing, “finally. Cannot believe I had to endure all those years of Jihoon pining over you and you dancing around him because you wanted to avoid your own feelings.” He turns to Eunseo, who looks equal parts disgusted and horrified, “they are probably two of the most obvious people in existence.”
I narrow my eyes, “you both knew about this? And no one told me?”
To her credit, Eunseo looks apologetic, “I just didn’t want to burden you with the knowledge that we all were aware of the dynamics between you and Jihoon; you seemed like you were still figuring it out, and Jihoon didn’t seem like he wanted anyone else to know. But he’s right, you know. You two were seriously the most obvious people in the world.”
I want the earth to split up and swallow me whole, right at this moment. What do you mean we were the most obvious people in the whole world? “What do you mean we were the most obvious people in the whole world?” I wasn’t even aware that Jihoon had feelings for me until a few months ago! “I wasn’t even aware of my own feelings until very recently.”
Before Eunseo can reply to my statement, her phone rings, and she makes a face before picking it up, saying, “it’s the realtor. He is supposed to meet us later in the week.”
Joshua pulls an identical face, and not for the first time since they started dating, I wonder why it is that all couples start to look alike after a few years of being together. However, for the first time, I also wonder how Jihoon and I would look like after a few years together. Would we be annoying, like Joshua and Eunseo? Or would we be one of those couples who always fought and broke up and patched up, all within the span of a week, like those people in university? But that would mean I’d have to spend enough time with Jihoon, becoming one of those couples.
“You’re putting on your thinking face,” Joshua says, bringing me out of my reverie, “it’s the expression you make whenever you’re imagining something.”
“I don’t do that,” I defend reflexively, but I know he’s true, simply because this is not the first time someone has told me about my ‘thinking face’. It is, however, the first time that someone has called me out when I was thinking about Jihoon. “What were you saying?”
“Eunseo just left to take the call from the realtor,” Joshua smiles, “I must say, I saw this coming from a mile away.”
I scowl, “what do you mean you saw this coming from a mile away? I’m not someone who’s that predictable, am I?”
“Well, it is true. You are kind of predictable,” Joshua shrugs, “you’ve been wearing the same clothes since university, you eat the same ten dishes all the time, and you even like the same kind of side dishes. You’re very predictable.”
I sigh, “yes, fine, I’m predictable. Still doesn’t mean you saw this coming from a mile away.”
“Have you seen the way you and Jihoon behave around each other? No matter how much you say that you can’t stand the sight of the other person, Jihoon cares about you the most. He drops everything at a moment’s notice to come to your aid. You do the same thing too, it’s just that you aren’t as forthcoming about it as him.”
“Was that why you were behaving weirdly on that night?”
“What night?” Joshua seems to have entirely forgotten that one Sunday, except it is ingrained into my mind like its just yesterday, “I don’t remember anything.”
“The night that you proposed to Eunseo,” I say, trying my best to not sound frustrated, “when Jihoon told you he was helping me hook up with people, you reacted really strangely.”
“Oh, yes, I did,” Joshua looks sheepish, “I shouldn’t have overreacted like that, but it was very confusing for me.”
“Confusing?”
“Imagine one of your closest friends, who has been pining over another one of your closest friends, telling you that he is helping the girl he has had a crush on for the past six years, in getting her a boyfriend. How would you feel about that?”
“Um, well,” I pause on it, “I’d think my friend was stupid.”
“That’s it!” Joshua yells, “see how it was confusing for me? all throughout university I thought Jihoon had a crush on you, but all of a sudden, after years as your friend,  he’s trying to set you up with other men? I thought he was being an idiot.”
“Well, I told him he shouldn’t be doing that,” I grumble, “he didn’t even listen to me and went and blabbed to you about how he was going to set me up with one of the boys.”
“You were the one who made that comment about Mingyu,” Joshua accuses, “I’d better not see you make any excuses for yourself. And what does ‘platonically motorboat’  even mean?”
“It means you would like to motorboat someone, but platonically, not romantically,” Eunseo says, walking into the café, “babe, the realtor wants to see us today, if we can.”
“Really? He wants to meet us today? After changing the date so many times?” Joshua groans, “never mind. We should be glad he’s meeting us poor people, who just want to buy a newlywed home.”
“You should be glad he’s meeting you at all,” I say, gesturing for the check, “if I ever saw a credit score as bad as yours’, I’d refuse to give you any credit, let alone show you houses.”
Both of them pull identical scowls, “yes, yes, showing off your excellent credit, go on,” Joshua says, “I just know you bragged all about it to Jihoon already.”
“You’re not wrong,” I reply, grinning, “but Jihoon said I should brag to others too, so I’m bragging to you.”
“Never mind her babe,” Eunseo puts her hands over Joshua’s ears, “she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”
The three of us walk out into the early winter morning, shivering in the cold. Joshua and Eunseo promptly set off in a taxi to go meet their realtor, while I make my way to my apartment, suppressing my urge to text Jihoon about his work. I’ve been endlessly curious about his process ever since university, but the only times he’s allowed me into the studio I’ve either fallen asleep within ten minutes of being there, or we had conversations about things that were not related to his music production. On the other hand, if I text him right now, badgering him about his work, I will seem like either a. an insane, clingy girlfriend, or b. a stupid, clingy girlfriend. In both cases, Jihoon is going to get sick of me so fast, he’s going to break a record with how fast he’s going to dump me.
In university, I was part of the journalism club, and on the first group outing, one of the seniors, drunk off of one too many soju cocktails, had taken the first-years aside and talked about how one should behave when in a relationship. “Now listen,” she had said, “never, I repeat, never, let him know that you’re into him, especially in the first few months of dating. The less he knows about your real feelings, the better.”
“But sunbae,” one of my freshman year-mates had raised her hand, “what happens if your boyfriend gets to know how much you like him in the first few months of the relationship?”
The senior had sighed, before saying, “you’ve got to understand why men like women. They don’t like the person we actually are; they like the chase. They like the person we pretend to be when we start dating them for the first time. Therefore, unless you’re absolutely sure that this is a man you want to keep around for a long time, you must not let your real self show around him.”
We had all nodded, as if we understood what she was talking about, and I had spent the last few years   of my life earnestly following this rule. Never allowing my real self to be shown around the people I have dated. But now I’m dating Jihoon, who has been around for all of the embarrassing chapters of my life. How do I navigate this new change in dynamic?
My phone pings, and I look down, expecting a text from Joshua or Eunseo, talking about their wedding, but instead of the two of them, its Jihoon.
hoon: did you tell joshuji?
hoon: he just texted me btw
hoon: he also says that we have both been huge idiots
I pause in the middle of the road in my surprise, and narrowly miss hitting a pedestrian. I always knew Joshua was a snitch, but telling Jihoon not even ten minutes after I’ve left? That’s just low.
big dick (canon): cannot believe Joshua snitched
big dick (canon): actually no, I do believe it
big dick (canon): he and Eunseo ditched me after brunch so I’m now being forced to go back to my home
big dick (canon): my home that I love and adore
big dick (canon): but still, I don’t really want to hang out in my apartment all by myself
big dick (canon): it’s so boring
big dick (canon): I’m going to kms
hoon: you know, one of the many, many perks of having me as your boyfriend is
hoon: that you can come hang out in the studio with me all the time
hoon: and I won’t even get angry with you, unlike how I get with others
hoon: because I love you, and this is a perk I provide to my loved ones ONLY
big dick (canon): you have canonically told all twelve of your friends to fuck off from the studio, at least once in your lifetime
big dick (canon): and I’m not even including all the times you have told me no for an interview
big dick (canon): if I count all those times, its going to go to a hundred, EASILY
big dick (canon): and you’re telling me to come hang out with you
big dick (canon): this is HIGHLY sus
hoon: just come to the studio my god you’re so dramatic
hoon: don’t take this as a sign to stop being dramatic, I actually like it when you do that
hoon: if you tell this to anyone else, I’m going to deny it and kill you
big dick (canon): you won’t do that you like me too much
big dick (canon): anyway, should I bring something for you to eat
hoon: have I ever told you that I love u
big dick (canon): yes, u have
big dick (canon): multiple times, in fact
hoon: ugh so dramatic
big dick (canon): I won’t get you anything, then
hoon: get me some fried chicken
big dick (canon): I’m having it delivered to your studio. I’m coming in ten
By the time I enter Jihoon’s studio, the chicken has been delivered, and I open the door to see Jihoon munching on a drumstick. Unlike other days, the studio is messy, and he looks like he’s been through hell. Which, if you take Jihoon’s word for it, is not much, just three meetings.
“Shouldn’t you leave one drumstick for me?” I ask, shrugging my winter coat off, “fuck, its cold as hell outside.”
“Needed brain food,” Jihoon replies through a mouthful of chicken, “had a meeting in the morning, the sound engineers needed some changes to be done to Hoshi’s title track.”
“Sounds like shit,” I mutter, picking up a piece, “you’ve been working on that since the morning?”
“Not just that, but the girl group song too,” he replies, “they liked the first song so much that they want another song from me. I’ve been looking through the scratch files on my computer to find out what songs I can give to them that aren’t emo ballads I made after one too many drinks.”
“You know, some of us just vomit after getting wasted. Are you trying to brag to me that you become more creative when drunk?”
“I’m not bragging, some of these are actually atrocious,” he says, pointing to the icons on the screen, “this one is just called ‘I’m never going to be alive’. What does that mean? Why was I thinking about this at three in the morning?”
“Entertaining suicidal thoughts at three in the morning is something we’ve all done, actually.”
“This is just called ‘Love hurts’, and this one, I named it ‘Park PD is a bitch’.”
“I’ll go tell him you said that.” I laugh when Jihoon’s face darkens, “okay, okay, fine, I won’t, but why do you hate him so much?”
“I don’t hate him at all. he was probably getting on my nerves at that moment, and instead of talking it out like real adults, I chose to instead make a song draft calling him a bitch.”
I look closely at the computer screen, “Wait, Jihoon. All of these songs are love songs. To an extent. How many love songs have you written over the years?”
He takes a minute to answer that, “since university, I’ve either created existential songs or love songs, so, I’d say, about a hundred? Give or take, but I won’t put a number on it, since I’m not really sure.”
“You wrote about a hundred love songs?”
“Yes, I did, and they’re all in here,” Jihoon pats the external hard drive hooked up to the computer, “this holds pretty much all of my work.”
“Makes sense as to why you would guard it with your life.” I reply.
I go to sit back down, putting my feet up on the sofa, and Jihoon gives me a dirty look. I just smile in reply. He’s always a stickler for these kind of rules, but it’s funny to see him be so rattled. I’m not going to lie and say that seeing him be irritated is funny, because it is. An angry Jihoon is a cute Jihoon, I’ve learnt that back in university. Especially when he pouts like that.
“You still wear minion socks?” Jihoon says, stuffing his mouth with chicken, “I gave you that as a gag gift last year, you should have thrown them out as soon as you got them.”
“I like the socks. They’re comfortable.” I reply, shrugging, “who gave you the idea to give me socks as a gag gift?”
“Soonyoung. He thought it would be funny to give you cartoon socks.”
“Joke’s on him, I like having my feet warm.”
After Jihoon and I finish the chicken and clean up in record time, he goes back to his workstation, and I’m free to observe him as much as I want to. Seeing Jihoon in his element is always an experience. Even in university, I used to observe him when he worked. He has a singular focus on whatever he does, from eating to producing music. I’m also not going to lie to myself and say that he isn’t attractive when he works, because somehow his attractiveness gets turned up a hundred notches when he’s working. Or maybe, I like him too much and I find everything about him attractive. His eyes are laser-focused on his work, and the lines of his neck, disappearing into his shirt, is at odds with the Jihoon in my bed yesterday, peacefully sleeping as he held me for warmth. Before last night, I never knew that Lee Jihoon was someone who got cold even underneath a comforter, and liked holding someone else for warmth.
“You’re staring,” Jihoon says, breaking my line of thought, “I’ve been talking to you for the past ten seconds and you’ve been staring into space.”
“I was just looking at my handsome boyfriend as he works. Is that not allowed?”
“Stop saying that.” He mutters, going back to his work, but I can see him turning red. Jackpot.
“Jihoon.”
“Hm?”
“Are you blushing right now?”
He turns around to give me an impressive glare, “no, I’m not.”
“The back of your neck is red.” I grin, “were you getting shy?”
“No, I wasn’t.” he lies, his ears going red. At this rate, he might burst into fumes.
“Your ears say otherwise, Jihoon,” I stand up, walking over to his chair, “your ears and your neck is red. You’re getting shy, aren’t you?”
“What! No, I’m not—” he pauses for a moment, turning away from me, before grabbing me by the waist, “stop teasing.”
“I won’t,” I giggle, taking the opportunity to climb into his lap, “see! You’re going all red.”
His face is still turned away from me, but I can see the blush on his cheeks, “are you going to continue to lie to me, Jihoon?”
He pauses, before huffing, “you’re gonna regret teasing me, you know.”
“Pretty sure I won’t—aah!”
Unfortunately, my plan had but one singular flaw in it. I had underestimated how much he worked out on a weekly basis. Jihoon just glares at me, before picking me up and walks over to the sofa, my legs dangling around his waist. Seriously, how much does this guy work out?
“Really? I was working, and in the zone, and you had to tease me like that?” he grumbles, before unceremoniously dumping me on the sofa, “I shouldn’t have invited you over. Let me go back to work.”
“But you did,” I grin, my hands around his neck, “you invited me over. Lured me in, I’ should say. You lured me in, and now you should pay the price.”
Jihoon groans, before smiling, “is this how it’s going to be all the time?”
“Mm, I’m afraid so.”
Lying down on the sofa, I can see the lights on the ceiling, bright white, ones that Jihoon claimed helped him with his workflow. I hated them in the beginning, claimed that they hurt my eyes, but over time, I grew used to them, to the point where I can’t imagine there being anything else. Bright white lights. A comfortable sofa. Jihoon’s face obscuring my vision, so close that I can make out every individual eyelash. His mouth, full and open, insistent against mine. Jihoon kisses like he wants to do nothing else, I’ve realised. As though this was what he wanted to do all along. Anything is okay. I’m not afraid of falling, if it’s Jihoon. which is why  I find myself doing strange things. Like allowing him to touch me, even if it’s in the middle of day, in a room where anyone might come in; like allowing him to undress me, even if I’m underneath harsh white lights. Because its him, because its Jihoon. I can touch him in return, slip my hands underneath the shirt he’s wearing, because I can press my mouth just as insistently against him as him.
“So, this is how it’s going to be, is it?” he says, unbuttoning my shirt, “wait. You’re not wearing a bra?”
I roll my eyes. Of all the things he can talk about, this is what he chooses to focus on? “No, Jihoon, its winter. I’m wearing three layers over this. Of course I don’t want to wear a bra. It’s too much work.”
“I wish it was winter forever,” he replies, continuing to unbutton my shirt, “good god, if this is the outcome, I wish it was winter all throughout the year.”
“The economy is gonna hate you.” I mumble against his mouth, “imagine a whole year of winter. The economy is gonna go haywire. And all because you’re horny.”
“It’s a proof of how much I’m attracted to you, that I’m still working on  your shirt after you just started talking about the economy,” Jihoon finally manages to slip off the shirt I’m wearing, “total buzzkill.”
I scowl, yanking his shirt over his head in one go, “sorry I’m such a buzzkill, then.”
“You’re lucky I love you,” Jihoon kisses my cheek, “you’re so beautiful. Have I told you that?”
“Not that I know of.”
“Remind me to tell you this every day, then.” His hands are soft on my hair, stroking, “you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes upon.”
“Even compared to Jeonghan?”
“Even compared to Jeonghan.” He repeats, “why do you have to bring him up now?”
“Just like that.” I smile, kissing him softly, “so, you like this?’
“Is this how it’s going to be now? For the foreseeable future?”
“I’m afraid so.”
“Thank god,” Jihoon murmurs, his hands on the button closure of my trousers, “I can’t wait for the future, then.”
��
Being in this industry means you have to meet with a lot of people. When I say a lot of people, I do mean a lot of people. I’ve managed to keep my connections alive, but it has not been easy getting to this place. Not the least for someone like me, who had no one in the industry to rely on. In the beginning, when I was working at the fashion magazine, everywhere I went I would be marked as an outsider, and it was surprising how easily doors could get closed. I’ve always been resentful of those times, but now, now it feels like a moment in time that never called its name out for me, and I cannot bring myself to care.
These are the thoughts that I usually have in the mornings. But now, things have changed.
For one, Jihoon is sleeping next to me, his hands holding me close. Its strange, looking at him like this, peaceful instead of a permanent frown etched into his brow, a small smile on his face instead of the scowl that seems to have carved out its own position on his face.
Nowadays, I wake up before Jihoon does, and on most days, I spend some time looking at his face. He was always beautiful, but now, now he looks ethereal. It takes all my self-control to not run from this, because how can someone like me be happy? What right do I have to happiness?
“You’re thinking too much again,” Jihoon says, shaking my train of thought loose, “I can practically hear your gears turning.”
“Morning,” I reply, hoping it sounds smooth and easy and not like I’ve been consumed with depressing thoughts.
Jihoon hums, pulling me in closer, “you always think too much. Its time you stopped thinking so fast.”
“Hm? Do you have a way of doing that?”
That gets his attention, and he opens his eyes. Still sleepy, but fully awake. “You want me to do something about your overthinking?”
“Yes.”
“Hm, I have a thought on how you can change that.”
“And what is that?”
He smiles, half-awake, and kisses me, and my mouth eagerly opens up to let his tongue swipe in, mapping the inside of my mouth with as much ease as he does when composing music. its almost embarrassing how eagerly my body responds to his touch, my hands finding their way inside Jihoon’s shirt without missing a beat, bringing him closer to me as if it’s a dance we have practiced over a long time. It’s a good thing that Jihoon is just as eager as me, pressing himself against me roughly, hard from the barest of touches. If he wasn’t wearing his sweatpants, he would realise just how wet I was from his touches alone, how he managed to reduce me to a wet, moaning mess with only a ghost of his touch and nothing more.
“Mm, just so you know, you’re kind of fulfilling a dream of mine.”
“Which is?”
“Having my way with you in the morning.” Jihoon grins, sitting up to pull his shirt off over his head, and my eyes widen as large purple blotches come into view. God, what did I do—those look like the work of a feral animal, not a mostly sane woman in her twenties. He, on the other hand, looks composed, dragging my shirt up and adding it to the pile on the floor. Almost immediately, his mouth is back on mine, his large hands manhandling my breasts. He’s just as affected as I am, moaning into my mouth as his fingers pinch and twist my nipples, the two of us barely managing to not devolve into a moaning, screaming, mess.
“Have I told you,” he yawns, coming up for breath, “your tits are incredible.”
I scoff, “yes, yes you have, Jihoon, multiple times. I get it, you like them.”
“Like them?” Jihoon grins, shoving two fingers into my mouth before putting his on  my nipple and sucking me hard enough to cry, “babe, I love them, they are perfect.”
Fuck. Jihoon’s obsession with my breasts means that he spent half an hour getting me off last night with his mouth and fingers alone, and I’m oversensitive to the point where his current ministrations are toeing the line between pain and pleasure. His fingers are in my mouth, long and deft, and I can remember where they had been the previous night.
“You gave me enough hickeys to last a lifetime, baby,” Jihoon mutters, still sucking roughly on my breasts, “it’s only fair I get to return the favour.”
Before I can even process what he means, he bites down on my nipple, hard enough that my back arches from the mix of pain and pleasure, and he can feel exactly how wet I already am. At this rate, he doesn’t even need to prepare me to fuck me, he can slide into me with ease, without even taking off his pants.
Jihoon is tired, sleepy, and so am I, the initial rush of waking up next to him fading away quickly as the early morning catches up to the both of us. There’s nothing rushed about the way he’s pushing in and out of me right now; it’s a slow embrace, something that I can hold on to for the rest of my day. Jihoon’s back is wide enough that I can’t really wrap my arms around him, and his mouth is slow against mine, insistent but not really pushing. It’s all Jihoon, and my brain is slowly going into overdrive because of how close he is.
“Have I told you how much I love you?” Jihoon asks, after we’re both finished, lying in a haze of our own happiness, oblivious to the world around us, “if I haven’t, consider it an oversight I wish to rectify. As much time as it takes.”
“Are you—proposing to me right now?” I ask.
“Well, it’s not really a proposal yet, but I am going to. And it’s going to be with flowers and a grand gesture that you really can’t turn down.”
“Never took you for a romanticist, Lee Jihoon.”
“Well, that’s the beauty of dating me.”
Mr Hong is an impressive writer, which is perhaps why I have always been a little jealous of him and his work. It’s also not at all strange as to why he only agrees to interviews with me, given his prickly demeanour, which has not really improved in the years that I have managed to work with him.
But even with all my misgivings, work is work, and I make my way to the office to pick up my files for the interview, and Seungkwan offers me a warm latte, insisting that I should carry it into the interview. The drink is still warm in my hands, and I stare at him. he just shrugs, “what, you should take it to him, it’ll look nice if we bring him something to drink in an interview.”
“Seungkwan,” I say, trying my best not to laugh, “have you read all of Mr Hong’s interviews with me?”
“Yes, I have, why?”
“Then you should also know that he only drinks tea from a specific tea garden in India, right?”
Seungkwan stares back. “He’s that much of a tea snob?”
“He earns ten billion per year in book sales, he can afford to be a tea snob. He imports the tea himself. He doesn’t drink coffee, and he would also hate it if I offered him a drink. It makes him feel like he’s not being a good host to me.”
“She’s like a criminal profiler when it comes to him,” the Editor hands Seungkwan a file, “managed to get all this information from the one single television segment filmed at his house.”
“Kind of forced to, since there was no prior information on him,” I mutter, but Seungkwan’s eyes widen, and he grabs my hands, eyes shining, “what the hell are you doing? You’re scaring the shit out of me.”
“You’re so cool, sunbae,” Seungkwan says, almost giggling from his excitement, “can’t believe you exist.”
“Seems like her boyfriend cannot believe she exists either,” The Assistant Editor sets down a cup of coffee at my desk, “cute guy. Handed me the coffee and said I should give it to the Associate Editor.”
“Jihoon said that?” I ask, picking up the warm cup. It’s an iced café mocha, sugary enough for Seungkwan to cringe when he takes a taste of it. “Jihoon doesn’t really refer to me by my title.”
“He always does with us, though,” Seungkwan says, “in fact, he’s been quite besotted with you since your university days.”
“University? It took them that long?” Haewon tuts, “really, sunbae, you should have just gotten together by now.”
“He should be doing that more, if you ask me,” the Assistant Editor smiles, “how does it feel to be the author of one of the most popular columns in the newspaper? There are a couple thousand hits on it every day, and that’s me being conservative with the estimate.”
“They love that column,” the Editor pipes up, “we sure are a depressed country.”
“Yes, yes, I’ve just been giving a voice to the most depraved of our society,” I mutter, slinging my bag over my shoulder in what feels like a fourth time this morning, “Seungkwan, are you coming along?”
“Yes!”
Writer Hong’s house is in the same neighbourhood as Jeonghan’s, but he has been living in it since the 90’s and to my knowledge, there has not been a violent murder to reduce the price of the house. Not that he would complain about it, given his obsession with true crime and the lurid crime novels he had written in the 80’s under a pseudonym that I had dug out for him to agree for an interview; because while the television segment did help, it was nothing compared to the immovable force of Writer Hong’s refusal to be in the spotlight. Which is why I had to yell out one of the names of his books (written in the 80’s) before he could disconnect the call. It was the first month I had been working at the news desk, and I was different. Hungrier. For recognition, or for someone to tell me that leaving my comparatively cushy, but dead-end job at a fashion magazine to pursue a career in journalism (good journalism), but journalism that does not pay the bills, was a bad idea. It was my first scoop, and I still remember being congratulated around the office like I had conquered a country. It was supposed to be a one-off thing, something a young writer had accomplished against the better judgement of all the adults involved.
But then Writer Hong had gone and taken a shine to me. I like the way you conduct interviews, he had said, very short. Not like those other blithering idiots who only go on and on about how great my work is.
Which brings me and Seungkwan to this morning, standing outside his mansion—it’s a mansion, a house the two of us can only dream of buying one day—in the cold winter air, Seungkwan nervously clutching the file he’s kept holding on to ever since we left the office building.
I ring the doorbell, and Seungkwan whimpers. Whimpers. I give him a sharp look, and he manages to compose himself just in time for Writer Hong to open the door, grumpy and ruffled, but he opens the door and lets us in, and soon enough, we are sitting in the middle of a tastefully done room, waiting for him to serve us with expensive Darjeeling tea. Seungkwan’s foot vibrates at an almost supersonic speed.
“So,” he says without much of a preamble, entering the room holding a teakwood tray, “I should call you Writer now, instead of Associate Editor.”
Its difficult to stop the blush that spreads across my cheeks, and even Seungkwan lightens up at that statement. Writer Hong had always been someone who valued propriety and how to address someone properly above all else, a relic of the old age, even if he had hated it in his youth.
“I’m still Associate Editor to you, sir,” I reply, holding the porcelain teacup carefully, “the writing is just a column.”
“And one of the better columns I’ve read in the last few years,” he grumbles, “my wife made me read it, you know. And I thought it was nice. Better than what that hack Kim Hong-Sik has been getting up to in these past few days.”
“Did not think a column on unachieved dreams would be exciting to you, sir,” I say, with a small smile, and he guffaws.
“You should start writing properly, then,” he says, “if you think your column is not deserving  of praise, going against the word of me, arguably the best writer Korea has seen in the past few decades.”
“That’s going a bit overboard, don’t you think, sir?” I say, and Seungkwan gasps, but Writer Hong just laughs ad laughs, “I mean, Han Kang exists.”
“Best Male author, then.”
The rest of the interview goes smoothly, and he even warms up to Seungkwan considerably, although he calls his way of peeling oranges ‘disgraceful to the flavour of an orange’. Its good, and it makes me feel accomplished, at noon, and before we leave, he even relents to take a picture with me, amidst his impressive collection of Korean art.  
“That went very well,” Seungkwan says, as we flag down a taxi, “didn’t know he could be like that. He’s usually so—reserved. And grumpy. In all the award shows.”
“He’s big on privacy, but fame really got to that.”
“Privacy?”
“There was once a story about his daughter, who passed away before she turned a year old. He and his wife hated that article so much he stopped giving interviews.”
“Really?”
“Really,” I say, closing my eyes, and Seungkwan falls silent. He was probably too young to have read that article—hell, I was too young to have read that article, but its easy, to wield this destructive power if you have it, especially without any regard for how the other party might feel about it; most people in my line of work get drunk on it, ruining lives just for the sake of ruining them.
We pick up lunch at a corner store, and walk into the office building in silence. Seungkwan has been looking up old articles, and he’s upset, clearly, given how his mouth settles into a frown, one that doesn’t go away even after Haewon presents us with doughnuts from the cafeteria, a present, she says, from the Editor-in-Chief.
“They’re waiting for you in the Meeting room,” she tells me, and I frown, because why the hell would they be there?
“Ah, there’s the Associate Editor!” the Editor booms, his head poking out of the meeting room door, “come have a chat with us.”
Its normal, jovial even, but I approach the room cautiously, only to be greeted with wide smiles from the two men.
“There’s a book deal for you.” The Editor-in-Chief,  a man of blessedly few words, says, as soon as I enter, “they like the column, and they want to publish it.”
“Of course, the legal team is going to establish your fees and how much of it should be going to the company—” they drone on, but all the words and thoughts have flow out of my head because holy shit I have a book deal now. Writer Hong’s words from this morning come to mind, and I smile and nod through the entire meeting, assuring them that while the company’s lawyers are sufficient, I should like to talk to my own lawyers about this, and that everything is okay, I would really like to go over the terms and conditions of the contract before signing it, and yes, I was reviewing it positively. While they hate that a column is possibly going out of circulation, they can’t help but think about all the extra money this is going to be bringing in, the extra money and the popularity, being known as the company that fostered a young author’s work. It’s a win-win deal, one that I would be stupid to turn down.
I leave the meeting room and call Jihoon, my hands shaking, and he picks up within three rings, his voice soothing and calm like it always is, “hello?”
“I’m going to be a writer,” I say, no other explanation or long-winded preamble, and Jihoon understands, “can you come pick me up from work?”
“I’ll be there in half an hour.”
I stand up, straighten my pants, and leave the bathroom, marching straight up to the editor’s desk, “I’m taking the rest of the day off.”
“The rest of the day?” he sputters, “wait, what about the interview?”
Seungkwan pops up his head, “I can write that. It’s just compiling all that was said.”
“I’ll check it, and Seungkwan needs to take point on a project,” I say, “besides, if you want me to focus on the column full-time, then someone needs to interview Writer Hong instead of me, right?”
“Still, you shouldn’t be leaving in the middle of the day,” he protests weakly, and the Assistant Editor smacks him with a pamphlet, “what was that for?”
“Clearly, she has someone waiting to pick her up, you buffoon,” she groans, “when will you understand? Just because your love life is barren, doesn’t mean everyone else is the same as you.”
Seungkwan winces, “wait, are you going home with Jihoon-hyung right now?”
I roll my eyes, “would you prefer to have the sordid details?”
“No, thank you.”
A peal of laughter follows me as I walk out of the office, and then the elevator and then Jihoon is standing in the lobby, flushed and wonderful, his nose red in the snow and biting wind. Because I’m a sane woman who is not given to theatrics, I merely walk up to him and tuck my arm into his, moving past the sliding doors onto the street. He’s wearing slippers, I notice, he must have come here straight from the studio.
“Very different from the feral woman who attacked me last night, I see,” Jihoon murmurs, strapping me into the seat of his car and kissing me for a tad bit (okay, thirty seconds) longer than what can be termed as an appropriate hello kiss.
“I was not that feral.”
“I have to wear a turtleneck for a week!” he exclaims, pulling down his shirt to show the extent of the damage, and I look away, embarrassed, “no! you don’t get to look away from me!”
“I like you in turtlenecks.”
That pleases him, and he smiles , “then I’ll wear them throughout the year.”
“Jihoon, you’ll suffocate.”
“I’ll have you.” He grins, “so, celebration?”
“I want to laze away today. Take a nap. Order shitty food.”
“I’m assuming there’s coitus involved. And not to mention, you dragged me out of work today.”
I wrinkle my nose, “do not say that word ever again, or else I’m kicking you out of my bed. And besides, what’s the point in being a famous producer if they don’t let you get home to your fiancée now and then?”
“What, coitus?”
“You’re no longer allowed into my bed,” I mutter darkly, and he just laughs.
The apartment building is mostly quiet this time of the day, but we pass a fair few old people who give us strange looks for coming back so early from work. Given that there have been multiple witnesses to me coming back at one in the morning, tired from overtime, and Jihoon walking into the elevator when the old ladies have finished their morning stroll, dark shadows under his eyes so pronounced he had to sleep for a week to get rid of them.
Jihoon presses the code to his home, and the two of us walk into the hallway, closing the door behind us to avoid the cold draught from chilling us to the bone.
“What should we get/” Jihoon toes off his slippers, scrolling absent-minded through his phone, “there’s a shop that delivers samgyetang, and I thought we could get some delivered, since you’ve been coming down with that cold for the past few days.”
“I’d like that,” I shake off my own shoes, sensible boots compared to Jihoon’s slippers, and kiss him again, for no other reason that I can and I will. He smiles against my mouth, “order me a whole chicken, Jihoon-ssi.”
“Two whole chickens,” he amends, “we can have the soup throughout the week. Shower?”
It is an innocuous enough question, but the way Jihoon’s eyes flash makes something shift inside of me, and I find myself returning his little smirk, peeling off the heavy coat, “you know there’s a water shortage.”
“Hmm. Its very bad. We should be conserving all the water we can.”
Jihoon pulls me close to kiss me again, and I laugh, leading him towards the shower.
My hometown is a quiet town. Sleepy, with neighbours that know everything about everyone. I used to hate them when I was younger, hated the way they always compared me to my sister, told me I had to be better in order for me to meet my parents’ expectations, as if nothing I did was good enough when compared to her. Nowadays, it’s a welcome distraction; reminding me of the fact that nothing in my town really changes, or will ever change. Not for the better, nor for the worse.
“Oh, are you here for the wedding?” the old man at the fruit shop says, as Jihoon and I walk out of the car, Jihoon yawning behind a closed fist, having slept half the way while I drove, “wait, you’re Yong-Hwa’s sister-in-law!”
“Yes, we’re here for the wedding,” I reply, as Jihoon shakes the falling cherry blossoms out of his hair, “just wanted to pick some fruits to take back to the house.”
That get’s his attention, and he spends an entire half-hour detailing to us every fruit he had at the store, and how good they would taste in season. In the end, we buy a box of strawberries, ones that he assures me are going to ‘taste like heaven’, and Jihoon is taking the driver’s seat for once, and we are speeding towards the house where I have spent my childhood and adolescence.
“Hasn’t been that long since I visited this place.” Jihoon says, turning a corner so that my home is visible, “this feels different somehow.”
“Yes, well, we weren’t together when you visited my mom. And its only a reminder of how much she wants me to visit, and I keep avoiding her requests.”
“But you’re here for the wedding.” He says, and I turn to look at him. Jihoon looks resolute, his mouth set in a line I haven’t seen for a long time, the light casting deep shadows on his face. My eyes move to the smooth gold band on his ring finger, its identical twin gleaming on my hand. He’s nervous, navigating this journey from being my friend to being my intended, meeting the family all over again, essentially.
There are flowers all over the house, bursting into bloom for my sister’s wedding, and I think to myself, this is how it usually is, huh. It’s a surprise that the usual dread that settles into me at the thought of getting married has been replaced with a pleasant anticipation, looking forward to navigating a lifetime with Jihoon.
“You’re here!” my mother shouts as we get down from the car, “they’re here!” she yells to someone inside the house, and soon enough, my father ambles out, looking every bit the disgruntles, emotionless father I had grown up with, looking at his youngest daughter and her partner. My mother envelops me into a crushing hug, but its my father’s gaze that I cannot return, because to this day I cannot live up to the ideal that he had had constructed for me.
My mother doesn’t notice the rings on our fingers, or even if she does, she doesn’t say anything, and we just haul the suitcases up into the house, where Jihoon has the guest bedroom, and I have my old childhood one. Settled in, I leave Jihoon to his devices, answering calls from the company about the new album, and walk down to the kitchen to help my mother with dinner.
“Is everything all right with Jihoon?” she asks, cutting carrots into tiny little pieces, “are you two finally together?”
I say nothing, just pour myself a glass of tea, “didn’t think you’d noticed.”
“Oh, the couple rings were too nice to not notice, actually,” she laughs, “its good. You two suit each other very much.”
“Now you’re saying that to take the piss,” I grumble, “you’ve never once approved of the people I’ve dated, whether I dated them or not.”
“That’s because you dated them to stop your mind from crashing and burning,” my mother says, gentle as ever, putting the ingredients for soup into a big pot, “you’ve always been headstrong that way.”
“As opposed to my sister?”
My mother sighs,  a sign of a battle she’s already lost against herself, “I’m sorry about that.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” I wave my hand. It matters so much. “I was the problem child, I guess. Every family needs one.”
“You were not a problem child,” my mother says, “you were just out of our reach, at times. and when we finally thought we understood you, you ran away and concealed yourself from us.”
“That’s what I was taught.”
“And I should have taught you differently.”
“Never mind, mother,” I give her a quick smile, “you’ll be watching your daughter get married, and in a few years, you’ll be a grandmother, and that will give you enough happiness to tide you over for the next ten years.”
“I think about you too, you know.”
“Congratulations on that, mother.” I reply, walking out of the kitchen.
Jihoon is sitting on the bed when I open the door, hands clutched around a  cup, “I wish we hadn’t come back.”
He raises an eyebrow, “this is your home.”
“I know, its just—there’s no one here that knows me, and even if they do, its only by association, as the sister, and my parents are all on eggshells around me, because I blew up in their faces about my childhood, and how much I hated being here, and its never going to stop, is it, I’m going to be this way, this festering, annoying, difficult, person, and I’ll never really be normal ever again—”
Jihoon wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a hug that’s at once reassuring and scandalous, “you’ll be fine. Your family are, well, they’re sorry, and they’re on eggshells because they don’t know how to approach you anymore. It happens. You can leave to Seoul and have your career, but they’re going to stay on in this town, and be reminded of the fact that maybe they didn’t do enough. Let them hover. It’ll put them at ease.”
“Fine.” I grumble, “I just came back because I love my sister. And Yong-Hwa. He needs to have a chance to run away before he hitches himself to her.”
Jihoon laughs, “would you say the same thing for me?”
I narrow my eyes at him. “What?”
He unwraps his arms from around me, fishing in his pocket, “wait, I forgot the ring at home.”
I gape, “you were going to propose to me?”
“Yes, but now that I forgot the ring, there’s going to be no proposal.” Jihoon grumbles, “stupid.”
“That’s fine, it would have been inappropriate for us to take away my sister’s spotlight,” I grin, pulling him back into a hug, “I accept, nonetheless.”
“Really?”
“I do expect a proper proposal back  in Seoul.”
“As you wish, always.”
Jihoon proposes with a car full of balloons, and he enlists the help of the other guys to make the proposal truly memorable, a phrase that I’m rapidly beginning to attribute to him. its gorgeous, and everything I had never imagined when it came to a proposal. The wedding, however, is much my style, the two of us traipsing down to the courthouse to submit a form and being declared married by the clerk, who tells us darkly that there’s a divorce counter just in the next room. Jihoon laughs, and I laugh, before walking out of the courthouse to meet our friends (and family) for dinner.
It’s a new life.
To LJH,
For being my friend.
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strawberrysugar71 · 2 months ago
Text
TADC Episode 6 Predictions! + Why I Think Bunnydoll COULD Become Canon (Some Episode 4 Spoilers)
1
Release Date
According to my calculations, we can expect Episode 6 to release on one of the following dates:
21st February 2025
28th February 2025
7th March 2025
14th March 2025
21st March 2025
28th March 2025
4th April 2025
11th April 2025
18th April 2025
25th April 2025
2nd May 2025
I think most likely it would be on May 2nd. But first let me explain how I go these dates.
Episode 2 of TADC released 5 weeks after Episode 7 of Murder Drones. And Episode 3 of TADC released 6 weeks after the Murder Drones finale. However, Episode 4 released 10 weeks after Episode 3. So, what I did was - for Episode 5 - count 5-10 weeks after Episode 4, and then I repeated the same for Episode 6.
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Let's say, for example, an Episode released every 5 weeks, we would expect the trailer for Episode 5 to be released on January 3rd 2025. (I'm just gonna point out that the Netflix leak is false. I highly doubt we'd get an Episode 3 weeks after the last one, but if it were true, then the trailer for Episode 5 would release on Friday. The actual episode wouldn't come out on the 1st, anyway, because that's a Wednesday. Not a Friday.) Anyways, enough of me yapping about release dates.
2
The Adventure
We know that Episode 5's adventure is baseball, and set in a baseball stadium, because it was foreshadowed at the beginning of Episode 4 and in the full season announcement for TADC.
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It is possible that the baseball adventure could be in Episode 6, because it was Ragatha AND Jax playing baseball (before Gangle joined in), but I highly doubt it because...
I think Episode 6 is another in-house adventure.
3
Why Do I Think This? + What Do I Think Will Actually Happen In the Episode?
I think this because of two reasons:
• I believe that Jax is going to be the cause of Ragatha's abstraction in Episode 6.
• Jax's key collection.
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Killing off one of the main three and the motherly one of the group is a pretty good way to fuck everybody up.
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"Probably not NPCs" so one of the humans, then.
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I think the entire fandom can agree that the worst thing Jax will do he's probably gonna do it in his episode.
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Coincidence? I think not.
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My take on this entire thing is that Jax is going to cause Ragatha to abstract, and feel really bad about it. Like, I mean, come on.
Kinger won't abstract. He would've most likely already abstracted if he was going to.
Gangle, potentially, BUT she arrived after Jax, and she's most likely the one who has been in the circus for the least amount of time (aside from Pomni).
Pomni arrived, canonically, 4 days ago. I don't think it's possible to abstract that fast.
Zooble I really don't think will ever abstract. They're just too much of a chill guy for that (iykyk) /hi
Jax finds pleasure in bullying the others, even if he does care about them.
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It's his way of coping with being trapped in the circus. And I think, even though he's an asshole, having to live with the fact that he abstracted the only person who seemed to genuinely care about him is torture in itself.
• In-house adventure
• Jax says "I want you DEAD!!!" to Ragatha.
• Ragatha disappears to her room.
• Jax goes into her room later on.
• Ragatha's abstracted.
The last 2 bullet points could even happen at the beginning of Episode 7. But I think it would make more sense for it all to be in Episode 6 because the 6th Episode in the last season of shows that have 9 Episode long seasons is the cursed Episode of that show. (Again, iykyk)
4
Why Do I Think Bunnydoll Could Become Canon?
"But Gooseworx confirmed that there's no canon romanc-"
Did you watch Episode 3? She lied.
"Yeah, but Queenie's abstracted-"
Gooseworx also said that Queenie being a chess piece was just a design choice and that she wasn't Kinger's wife. Pretty funny that, huh?
I think this is overlooked. Romance IS canon, it's just not really shown. But I do genuinely believe that if any other ship had to become canon, it would be Bunnydoll. I think this because:
• They're always shown next to each other, or close to each other.
• Their bedrooms are right next to each other's. Just like Kinger and Queenie's (as well as Zooble and Gangle's if your an Abstraggedy fan). AND There's a Mannequin on either side of them.
E.g.
Mannequin, Jax, Ragatha, Mannequin.
• The nicknames he calls her, like hello?!
• Not to mention, whenever Ragatha expresses concern for Pomni, Jax either rolls his eyes or dismisses it.
• The whole premise of Episode 3 was about Husband and Wives. And I think it's pretty obvious that Queenie abstracted because her and Kinger got into an argument of some kind. So, Kinger abstracted Queenie, basically. Abstraction is also the circus' version of death. That would explain why Kinger looked so emotional when Baron Theodore was talking about killing Martha. Then, Martha said "You know how men are, always having the silliest priorities" and then Ragatha said "Don't I know it." whilst looking over at Jax Martha was talking about men, sure, but she was only really meaning her husband. A good writer such as Gooseworx doesn't include that for no reason. It's so goddamn obvious.
• They obviously have/have had something going on. From Jax saying "Why do you always make me out to be the bad guy?" during their fight at the beginning of Episode 4 . They've obviously had arguments like that before. They HEAVILY give exes that still have feelings for each other if they are exes.
All of that combined is - if it does happen - going to make Episode 6 a whole lot sadder. If they are exes, then one of 'em is probably gonna say that they still love them before Ragatha goes. And if they're just crushes, then they're probably gonna confess their love. Maybe even a hug...or a kiss. (Please, Gooseworx 🙏)
Anyways, I hope this makes sense. Thank you for reading!
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lucyrose191 · 1 year ago
Note
I don't know if you're accepting writing requests, but I thought about it just now.
I don't know if you know that people are talking about Sebastian's “possible return” in 2025 with Mercedes. So I thought you could write part 3 of "a shared story"? Sort of like if the two of them came back, their son appeared. Anyway, it's up to you to write, that's all that came to mind.
A SHARED HISTORY: THE RETURN| S.VETTEL
Pairing; Sebastian Vettel x Wife!driver!reader
Summary; With the news of Lewis moving to Ferrari in 2025, the formula one world is in chaos and Mercedes is left to find a driver, why not ask their for their best to return?
Warnings; Lewis is perceived as a bit of a dick.
F1 Master List , Part 1, Part 2
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When something was a constant in your life for so long it was hard to part with the routines that came with it which is why Y/N found herself in her and Seb’s home gym at five in the morning even over a year after retiring and only a few months after having a baby.
It was working well in her favour though because with the addition of the working out she did during her pregnancy she pretty much had her body back the way it was pre-baby.
She was scrolling through her phone to try and find a song to start her workout with when she got a notification from her f1 app and her face dropped as she clicked on it.
LEWIS HAMILTON TO JOIN FERRARI IN 2025
The message filled her screen as she simply stared in shock.
Workout forgotten, Y/N turned around and ran up the stairs. "Seb."
She jumped on their bed and aggressively shook him, "Sebastian, wake up!" She whisper shouted, not wanting to wake the baby. "Sebastian!"
He turned his head over to look up at her with half-closed eyes, "what time is it?" He muttered.
"Who cares? Lewis is moving to Ferrari."
That woke him right up, he pulled the top half of his body into a sitting position and forced his eyes fully open, looking at Y/N in disbelief. "What?"
"It’s everywhere, he’s driving for them in 2025."
Seb continued to look at her in shock, "Is he okay? How could he be so stupid?"
His words struck something within Y/N, knowing how rough her husbands time at Ferrari had been, how she had watched his demeanour shrink throughout the years he spent there, how guilty she felt winning near enough every race whilst the love of her life felt like he was getting nowhere.
It also caused her to think about Lewis himself and the things he had said about his team last season, as though Mercedes hadn’t made him who he was and now he was leaving after one particularly rough season. "Apparently he only told the team two days ago," she muttered.
"No," Seb uttered, not believing that Lewis would tell the team only two days before the entire world knew. "Poor Carlos," he added, knowing how Ferrari treated their drivers when they had found a replacement for them.
"You’d think Lewis wouldn’t have taken that seat considering he knows how toxic that environment is, I hope he doesn’t think he’ll be number one driver just because of his experience," Y/N thought aloud.
"He’ll be very disappointed if that’s what he does think," Seb scoffed, the resentment he felt towards Ferrari breaking through, it was hard not to with not only the way they treated him but the way the fans did too. Their refusal to accept that he was in fact not the problem but it’s in fact the poor communication and leadership within the team.
"I think I’ll ring Toto later, it’s four am in England right now, I doubt he’d be impressed if I rang him now." Y/N smirked.
Sebastian smiled "He’ll probably be up with the news being released."
Y/N hummed in agreement before reaching up to push Seb’s hair back from his forehead, "I’m going to go start this workout before Ansel wakes up, you can go back to sleep, sorry for waking you," she leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips.
"It’s okay, liebe." Sebastian laid back down and watched Y/N walk out the their bedroom, there was no chance he was going back to sleep now that she’d woken him up but she didn’t have to know that.
Later in the day.
"Hi, baby!" Y/N cooed to her son who she held in up in the air, loving the loud uncontrollable giggles that he let out. In the past two and a half months he hasn’t lost those beautiful blonde curls he got from Sebastian, bright white coils sprouted in every direction and with his bright blue eyes, baby Ansel would no doubt be a heartbreaker when he was older.
She laid him back down on the floor and tickled his belly, enticing another round of laughter to burst from him. "God I love you so much, you’re so cute."
"Liebe?" Seb walked into the living room with her phone in his hand.
"Yeah, who is it?" Y/N paused her tickling and allowed Ansel to catch his breath.
"Toto," her brows shot up in surprise at Sebastian’s response, she didn’t have to give him a call after all. "I’ll watch him whilst you speak to him," Seb handed her the phone before picking Ansel up from the floor with an over dramatic grunt and leaving the room.
Y/N places the phone against her ear, "Hello?"
"Y/N! Hi, how are you doing?" Toto’s thick Austrian accent sounded through the phone.
"I’m doing amazing, I’d ask you the same question but I’ve seen the news and I can’t imagine you’re doing great," she sympathised.
"It’s been chaotic to say the least," Toto replied honestly, "I only found out two days ago and I was surprised if I’m being honest."
"He only told you two days ago as well?" Y/N was surprised. "I saw that he told the team two days ago but I thought he would’ve told you sooner."
"I thought he would have too but he didn’t, I’m going to be straight with you, Y/N, I am calling for a particular reason."
Y/N stared at the blank wall in front of her, curious as to what he might’ve called for. "Go on…"
"Have you done much training or simulator work since retiring?" Toto asked absentmindedly.
His question shocked her into silence for a moment before replying. "I trained all throughout my pregnancy and I’ve still been training, I’ve cut back on the neck training but other than that it’s remained the same really and I’ve done a bit of simulator work but not much, I haven’t really found the time to keep that up."
"I understand, you’ve probably been very busy with a newborn, it can be hard," Toto said understandingly.
"I think we’ve been lucky to be honest, Ansel’s quite calm."
"I’m going to be blunt here," Toto told her, "what do you think of becoming a seven time world champion?"
Y/N froze completely at his question.
She knew what he was asking but she just couldn’t allow that idea to simmer in her mind, not when it had taken her so long to become content without racing in her life. "I have a son to take off."
"I know," Toto responded, "and I would never ask you to give that up, I understand completely how he is your number one priority, you have a family to take care of and I don’t expect you to put racing above your family but Y/N, you are the best driver Mercedes has ever had and I don’t believe you’ve accomplished everything you could."
"That’s a very big ask, Toto," Y/N released a heavy breath.
"It’s for 2025, you can sit on it until half way through the season but I can promise you if you agree, it will be a championship winning car." The confidence in Toto’s voice was impossible to miss.
"You’ve already started designing it, haven’t you?" She mused.
"Yes, we aren’t taking any chances of losing in 2025, we want you back Y/N, we didn’t want you to leave in the first place. George is a great driver but he’s only been with us one season and he is not number 1 driver ready yet."
"I’ll think about it but I am not promising anything," she iterated, wanting him to acknowledge that the chances of her returning were very very slim.
"I’m glad you’re at least considering it, take as long as you need," Toto repeated his earlier words and Y/N ensured she would be taking all of the time she was given before they bid their goodbyes.
As the call ended, Y/N felt a heavy wait in her chest, the idea of returning to formula one hadn’t even crossed her mind because she never thought the opportunity would even arise and her and Seb were making their family, the family they always wanted.
She pushed the idea out of her mind and pulled herself up from the floor, she walked into the kitchen and began looking through the fridge for ideas on what to make her and Seb for lunch.
"What did he want?"
Y/N jumped and snapped her head to the doorway where Seb was stood, holding a sleeping Ansel against his chest. He frowned at her reaction because she wasn’t one to be easily frightened.
"Uhm," Y/N cleared her throat and closed the fridge. "He was just asking how we were and telling me about the whole Lewis situation, the parts the media didn’t know."
Her response set off alarm bells in Sebastian’s mind that made him thing there was something else, something she hadn’t been anticipating. "Anything else?" He asked,
Y/N swallowed and looked down at the floor, she could never lie to him about anything but especially not something this big. "He, uhm, he asked me to come back. He wants me to drive for Mercedes again."
Sebastian’s hands subconsciously tightened around Ansel’s body at the news, he stood frozen in the doorway with a blank face as he processed what that could mean. "Wow," it was the only word that expressed what he was feeling right now.
Y/N scoffed out a laugh and nodded. "Yeah."
The lost look on her face tugged at Seb’s heart and he stepped across the threshold into the kitchen and walked closer to her. "Would you want to?" He asked in an almost whisper.
Y/N shrugged weakly. "I have no idea," she replied honestly. "When I retired, I felt lost and I thought that feeling would never leave and I convinced myself I had made the worst mistake I could ever make. I had everything, I was still at the height of my career and to suddenly not be racing anymore…. It was hard, you know that, but then Ansel was born and this new life we have made it all worth it to me. I accepted I wouldn’t be going back but now Toto is literally holding out that seat in the palm of his hand and i don’t know what to do."
Sebastian adjusted Ansel so he was holding him in one arm and wrapped the other around Y/N’s shoulder, pulling her into his body. She rested her head against his shoulder and wrapped her arms around her boys, smiling as Seb pressed a kiss to her head. "How long do you have before you need to make a decision?" He asked.
"Until about halfway through the season, I told him I’d probably need every bit of that time," Y/N muttered before looking up at him. "Can I ask you a question?"
Sebastian smirked, "you just did," he teased causing her to roll her eyes. "Go on." He added seriously this time.
"Would you be okay with it if I did say yes? I’m not saying I want to but I definitely wouldn’t if you want things to stay how they are, without all of the travelling."
It was one of the things that truly made their marriage work, they both understood that it was in fact a partnership and would never agree to something that the other person wasn’t a hundred percent on board with.
He thought about her question for a moment before answering. "I didn’t retire because of the travelling, I retired because I wasn’t enjoying it anymore. I wasn’t meant to be a midfield or back of the field driver and that’s the only place I ended up. If you find that you do want to return then Ansel and I will follow you."
The two of them left the conversation there, not speaking of it anymore for the next couple of weeks as Y/N didn’t want to stress herself with feeling the need to make a decision as quick as possible.
February 2024
"OH FUCK OFF!" Y/N groaned loudly the minute she saw Danica Patrick appear on the screen.
Sebastian tilted his head back against the sofa and laughed at her reaction.
They weren’t even half way through the first episode before she showed up onto the screen and YN wasn’t impressed to say the least. "Why the fuck is she here?"
"She wants to tell everyone what the mindset of an f1 driver is like," Sebastian teased and YN scoffed.
"Oh yes please, let this woman who knows nothing about f1 tell me how I felt when I was in that car for fifteen years. I mean, if they want a woman, ask Susie!"
"I doubt she’d say yes after last year." Sebastian snorted.
"Yeah, that’s true," YN agreed, reaching for the remote to skip until Danica was no longer on the screen.
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2nd March 2024
In case Y/N did choose to return to formula one in 2025 she had returned to her full training and diet so that she would have as much preparation as possible which was why the coffee table was filled with healthy snacks, much to Seb’s dismay, as the pair of them snuggled up on the sofa with a now four month old Ansel between them, ready to watch the first race of the season.
The entire weekend her eyes hadn’t left the W15, it hadn’t surprised her that they had incorporated part of the iconic silver design that Mercedes was famous for since it was Lewis’ last season. She had watched the launch of the car and it felt awkward for her, knowing that Lewis was leaving made it feel tense but that could’ve just been her imagination.
The RedBull was a rocket which wasn’t surprising after their success last season, she doubted they had changed much, they hadn’t needed to but what was fascinating was how the W15 didn’t seem so bad in comparison, George was driving that car as if they were one.
Now being able to see the improvement from last year, the confidence she heard in Toto’s voice for next year made sense to her. She believed him in his promise that next years car would be capable of earning her a seventh title and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t now tempted.
"It’s looking good," Sebastian commented lightly, subtly side eying her.
"Yeah it is," She replied, her eyes not leaving the tv screen as she leaned her head against his shoulder.
A month later
Sebastian apprehensively walked into the living room, smiling at the sight of Y/N lying on the sofa with Ansel asleep against her chest, her hands resting on his back protectively.
She looked up at the sound of his light footsteps and smiled before noticing the wary expression on his face. "Hey, are you okay?"
Sebastian swallowed thickly. "You’re not going to believe this…."
Y/N rose a challenging brow, "yeah? Try me."
"Christian just called."
"Horner?"
Sebastian nodded, walking over and sitting on the sofa by Y/N’s feet. "He isn’t resigning Perez next year, he’s offered me a seat."
If it wasn’t for the seriousness of the conversation, the look of shock on Y/N’s face would’ve been laughable. "Seriously!?"
Sebastian nodded and Y/N let out a small laugh, "Wow," she whispered. "Do you want it?"
"I don’t know," he replied honestly. "I understand the pressure you feel under now, to make a decision. I asked if I could think it through, I also have till mid season to give an answer."
His words caused her to smile as a memory flickered through her mind.
"Seb and I entered formula one together and it feels right to leave it together too, it's great knowing that we quite literally went through the entire thing with each other"
The pair of them had never driven in formula one without the other, if they both returned then that connection between the two of them would remain too. It was a beautiful connection that meant a lot to Y/N for a reason she couldn’t really think of.
She didn’t want to lose that.
That one flicker of a memory had solidified her decision in a mere second.
"If you were in that RedBull would it return your drive and passion for racing?" She asked softly.
Seb set his eyes on his sleeping son for a moment as he thought about her question before returning his gaze to hers. "I think it would."
"Would it ignite a hunger for a fifth title?"
"Yes," Sebastian answered immediately and Y/N smiled.
RedBull was an important part of their careers, it was where she had started out and won her first title and it was where Seb had achieved all of his records and titles.
"I think you have your answer, Seb. You just haven’t convinced yourself it’s real."
Three months later, Austria 🇦🇹 (30th June 2024)
Sebastian and Y/N walked through the Spielberg paddock, a seven month old Ansel was attached to Sebastian’s chest in a baby carrier, his face covered from the cameras with a hat.
They waved to the fans as they walked by but didn’t stop to speak or take photos because they had places to be, they entered the pits and walked past eight team garages, parting once they reached the Mercedes garage, Sebastian continued towards RedBull.
Toto Wolff, the man she was looking for, was standing in the entrance and seemingly waiting for her.
Y/N walked up to him with a cheeky smile on her face and stood beside him in silence, the pair of them looking inside of the garage to where the mechanics were working on the car.
"You weren’t lying to me," she eventually spoke, keeping her voice quiet from prying ears.
Toto looked down at her with a raised eyebrow, not understanding what she meant.
"The car," she explained. "It’s going to be worthy of a title, isn’t it?"
She wasn’t talking about the car in front of her, she was talking about the W16, the one that hadn’t been built yet.
"Yes," he responded surely.
"Okay," she nodded, only now removing her eyes from the car to look him in the eyes. "Well, I want to look over your numbers and speak to the designers because I will not be driving a car that looks like a four year old picked it out and I get to choose how the news is released."
She watched as the realisation slowly took over his features, the shock that riddled his face would forever be ingrained into her mind. "Seriously?" He asked, voice filled with a mixture of disbelief and hope.
"Unless you’ve found someone else?" She asked teasingly, knowing he most certainly hadn’t and even if he had, he wanted her more.
Toto quickly shook his head as a smile grew on his face, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Y/N’s waist, lifting her feet from the floor as he took her into a bear hug, the pair of them laughed as he spun her round once in utter joy before setting her back down.
No doubt the media would soon be filled with suspicions and theories about what their conversation had been about and what she had said that had caused Toto’s overly happy reaction.
Just over a month later (beginning of August 2024)
With both Sebastian and YN now giving Toto and Christian the verbal agreement that they would drive for Mercedes and RedBull in 2025, it caused for both them and Ansel to make the move back to their property in England.
The summer break had now begun so it was the perfect time for them to sign their contracts and go through all of the necessary things to get prepared for next season and to get back into the swing of things.
This included deciding on when to announce the information of their return.
Both Sebastian and Y/N had given Christian and Toto the conditions that they wanted the news of their return to be together which meant a combined photoshoot and social media post from both Mercedes and RedBull teams.
It also meant that the two team principals and their heads of social media needed to work together to come to a compromise that everyone was happy with for the release.
They weren’t very happy having to work so close together but both were eager for their star drivers back that they pushed through.
It also meant that both teams were holding a shared secret about the other team.
As of right now the only people that knew Sebastian and Y/N Vettel were returning to Formula One were Christian, Toto and each teams head of social media, and family of course.
As neither team principal wanted to step into enemy territory, it left the announcement photoshoot to happen in the Vettel household.
The pair of them were stood in their living room in front of a black backdrop with their race suits on and since they didn’t have their 2025 helmets yet, they used the helmets they retired with.
Both their visors were up as they rested their foreheads against each other and stared into each other’s eyes with serious looks on their faces, preparing to show to the world that they were back and they weren’t playing around.
"Just cause you have your good luck charm back doesn’t mean you’ll be able to catch up to us."
Y/N and Seb rolled their eyes simultaneously,
"You’ve gotten very cocky after a short lucky streak, get to seven in a row and then we’ll start talking." Toto didn’t hesitate in replying.
"How about instead of comparing cock sizes, you two can figure out a date that we launch this news because you still haven’t came to an agreement." Y/N smiled sarcastically causing Sebastian to laugh at the way they promptly shut up.
"Great. If I have to listen to you two go at it next year then I will whip both your arses, got it?"
The two team principles nodded at her words so she turned back to Sebastian, who was looking at her in amusement, so that they could continue with the photos.
November 2024
It was Ansel’s first birthday today and you and Seb were refusing anything formula one today, the entire day was for your son and you both would give him every bit of your attention.
You and Seb were still 100% serious that he came above everything else and you both would remain stern on that, both Christian and Toto understood that yours and Sebastian’s conditions were that your son came first and that was the only reason you agreed to return.
Ansel didn’t at all understand the purpose of a birthday or opening presents so it left you and Seb to open his gifts but he did have the time of his life playing with all of his new toys.
Y/N still couldn’t believe this was her life. Sebastian and Ansel were her everything and to think if Christian Horner out of all people hadn’t taken a chance on her that she wouldn’t be where she is now is crazy and now she had been given the opportunity to return to the sport that had young drivers lining up to be a part of, she knew how lucky she was and she would never take it for granted.
December 2024, Abu Dhabi
If there was one thing that Christian and Toto had in common it was their flare for dramatics, both wished for the news of the Vettel’s returning to take the world by storm and so they were announcing it the day of the last race of the season which was in two days.
Barely any of the team even knew, George now did which he was thrilled about but Toto didn’t want to tell Lewis the news, Y/N thought he was feeling a bit petty and still a bit hurt from how long it took Lewis to tell him about him moving to Ferrari and just wanted to maybe get one up on the driver.
In the meantime, Y/N was going to take George’s car out for a couple of laps today before free practice and none of the team knew it yet but that was about to change.
The garage privacy barriers were up as the team watched in shock and building excitement as Y/N got into George’s car. She smiled as an immediate feeling of content mixed with anticipation built within her, her body knowing this is exactly where she belonged.
She had her 2022 helmet on so if anyone looked carefully they would definitely know that it was not George inside the car.
"Can you hear me, Marcus?"
"I can hear you loud and clear, Y/N. It’s good to have you back."
"Let’s do this then." She put a thumbs up towards one of the team members to move the barriers, gave a nod to Toto who was watching her with a blank expression on his face, (she thought he might be worried that she’d change her mind after giving this apparent shit box a drive) before she pressed down on the accelerator and left the garage.
Leaving the pits, Y/N grinned as best as she could beneath her helmet as she pressed down further on the throttle, smoothing through the gears as she increased her speed.
As she got onto the straight after turn 5, she heard Marcus in her ear. "How are you feeling, Y/N?"
"Great! Just like riding a bike." She replied, the tone of her voice making it clear that she had a large smile on her face.
"Nice to know you’ve still got it, we never doubted you for a second." Marcus told her before cutting the connection.
Up in the commentary box where David Croft and Martin Brundle were setting up for the weekend, they both looked out onto the track in confusion at the sight of the Mercedes, they hooked up their microphones before speaking.
"And that’s the Mercedes of George Russel on the track, free practise hasn’t started yet so I’m not sure if they’re allowed to be doing that…." Crofty’s voice sounded through the track speakers.
"That Mercedes seems to be driving better than it has all season, they haven’t put any updates on for the final race, have they? Is that even allowed?" Martin Brundle continued.
"Let’s see, are we able to take a closer look at that?" Crofty asked, followed by the screens on the grandstand zooming in on the car as it drove on the track. "…..that is not George Russell’s helmet…."
"Isn’t it? Who’s driving his car?" Martin questioned.
"I’m not sure, I’m also not sure this is actually allowed."
"I don’t think Mercedes actually care at this point- sorry, I’ll rephrase that actually. I don’t think Toto Wolff even cares what is allowed at this point."
"Okay, Y/N, if you could bring it into the pits now, we’re going to keep you in the car until the barriers are back up." Marcus instructed.
"Copy," Y/N replied.
The mechanics wheeled her into the garage and put the shutters down so that no one could see inside as she got out of the car.
As soon as her feet hit the ground she was embraced with pats on the back by happy team members.
George approached her with a smile on his face and was shaking his head at her. "I’m not sure how I feel about this anymore, you’d have managed to put that shit box on the second row with that second lap time." His tone made it clear that he was just joking and he was actually more than looking forward to have her as a team mate.
"I’ve still got it then, that’s good."
"It’s great," Toto’s voice from behind her made her jump and then around. "You think we should tell the team?"
"Now?" Y/N asked in surprise and Toto nodded, gesturing that she could do the honours.
Y/N gave him a toothy smile before stepping forward and climbing on top of George’s car, standing just in front of the halo, drawing the attention of everyone in the garage.
"Hey everyone! I know this season has been quite rough on you all, not just with the lack of results the team is used to but also with the fact that we all know Lewis has made the decision to leave Mercedes and join Ferrari which was as much of a surprise to me as I’m sure it was to you guys and it’s honestly been hard for me to see a lot of you feel a bit lost as to how the team can make a comeback and be on top but I do hope that next year you’ll all be able to see just how great Mercedes is and to hopefully regain that hunger because I know I’m hungry for a seventh title and I have every bit of faith that this team can help me achieve that when I come back and drive for you next year…."
The garage filled with a series of gasps followed by cheers that would definitely be heard from outside.
"…this is a finalised decision, Toto and I have been speaking all year and we’ve both signed the contract and I do hope you’re happy to have me back."
The team clapped and the garage was filled with whistles and cheers again as she finished and climbed down from the car.
"The news is going to be released Sunday morning so if you could all keep it on the down low until then it would be greatly appreciated!" She finalised before turning to Toto and George with a raised eyebrow. "There you go, no turning back now."
And for the rest of the weekend, the entire paddock could see the change in the Mercedes team, it seemed every member had a spring in their step as they walked through the track and they all seemed to have a permanent smile on their faces.
When asked about it they all seemed to give generic answers like ‘they were just happy to be here’ but no one believed it, not even Lewis who was left in the dark and when he asked about it he just got the same response.
But as Sunday morning came, both Mercedes and RedBull was filled with anticipation as the news of the Vettel’s return to the sport was shared across four Instagram accounts; RedBull, Mercedes, Y/N’s and Sebastian’s.
The world was taken by storm that morning, not only by the news of the return but also the fact that both teams had seemingly worked together to keep it under wraps.
Seb, Y/N, Christian and Toto entered the track together that morning and were bombarded with cameras and questions making both Vettel’s glad they had left Ansel at the hotel with Fabian who was going to bring him later in the day.
"Seb! Y/N! When did you decide to rejoin formula 1?"
"Christian, did you boot Perez before signing Sebastian or did tell him you were terminating his contract after you had already asked Sebastian to return?"
"Toto, did you ask Y/N to come back to get back at Lewis for leaving Mercedes?"
"Lewis said he had no idea of Y/N taking his seat, is there a reason you told the team but kept him in the dark?"
The four ignored the questions and continued their way into the track, not batting an eye at the other teams who watched as they walked by, astounded to see the four of them together.
"Feels good, doesn’t it? Success…." Christian smirked arrogantly causing Y/N, Seb and Toto to roll their eyes.
"I’d even go as far as saying we make a good team, us four." Toto added and Y/N scoffed.
"Please, this would’ve been a complete disaster had Seb and I not mediated the last year. The pair of you are a ticking time bomb."
Both team principals sent her affronted looks at her words which she ignored, once they reached the Mercedes garage, Seb leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Y/N’s temple. "I’ll come and get you later before the race and we’ll watch it together."
Y/N nodded with a smile and bid him goodbye.
Both her and Toto walked into the Mercedes garage and were met with whoops and cheers from the team causing her to laugh at their dramatics but she soon stopped at the sight of Lewis.
He was approaching her and he looked quite disgruntled.
"Both of you returning?" He asked.
Y/N shrugged. "Toto asked me and then Christian asked Seb a month later, it was purely a coincidence."
He didn’t look like he believed her but it didn’t bother her too much. "I thought it would’ve been off the cards now that you have a child."
Y/N looked at him in confusion. She thought it was a bit rude that he was bringing her son into a conversation that they were clearing having because he felt left out of the news.
"I wouldn’t have returned if Seb didn’t get approached by Christian, we’ve always been in F1 together and as soon as he was offered I knew that I wanted to come back."
"When was this?"
"I got asked in January, after your move was confirmed." Y/N replied honestly.
"You’ve kept that under wraps for a while then." He said in a tone that could only be described as bitter.
"Because we weren’t sure that we were actually going to return. It was a shock to us as well but it felt right and so we accepted. Toto and Christian agreed to wait until closer to the end of the season for the release so that the press would focus on this season and not next."
Which in her opinion is what he should’ve done.
"The team already knew." He stated.
Y/N nodded. "I told them on Friday that I would be driving for them, it’s really upped their motivation for 2025."
"Why didn’t I know?" He eventually just came out and asked.
Y/N looked at him strangely. "Because you chose to leave the team, Lewis. After today, you have to accept that Mercedes is no longer your team and whatever concerns them is no longer your business either. The teams plans for 2025 have no impact on you whatsoever."
Lewis bit his lip and nodded before walking away, nothing else to say.
Y/N watched after him for a moment. They had been teammates for eight years and had an amazing friendship through that but for some reason she had a feeling that was about to end since she was driving for Mercedes.
Had he really thought Toto wasn’t going to find a driver to replace him?
Just before the race.
Seb and Y/N were standing between the first two rows on the grid so they could be nearby Max and George as they got ready as Martin Brundle approached them for his grid walk.
"Sebastian! Y/N! Could I have a quick word?"
"Go on then," Y/N nodded.
"So, you’ve surprised us all this morning by announcing that you’ll both be returning next season, Sebastian you’re going to RedBull and Y/N you’re returning to Mercedes. We want to know something, anything about the process cause nobody was expecting this."
Sebastian smiled. "It’s nothing exciting. After the news of Lewis going to Ferrari, Toto wondered if there was a chance for Y/N to return and then about a month later Christian also called and asked me if I would be willing to come back."
Martin nodded before turning to Y/N. "After Mercedes’ rough two year since you left, do you think they’ll be able to get back on top next year."
Y/N smirked. "I wouldn’t be returning if there wasn’t a chance for me to become a seven time world champion, Martin."
He seemed to be delighted by the news and nodded, thanking the two of them before walking away to hopefully find some of the drivers.
Sebastian wrapped his arm around Y/N as they started walking back towards the garages. "Where do you want to watch it from?"
Y/N thought for a moment. "We’ll watch it from RedBull."
2025
"Okay, state your name, occupation and your team." The woman behind the camera instructed.
Y/N smiled at the camera and began speaking. "I’m Y/N Vettel and I’m a Formula One driver for Mercedes AMG Petronas Formula One team."
She then leaned forward and stared directly into the lens. "I’M BACCKKKKKK!"
Bahrain. 🇧🇭
"Okay, Y/N, are you ready to become a seven time world champion?" Bono asked over the radio.
"You bet I am." She replied confidentially.
"Are you going to become a five time world champion, sunshine?" Hugh asked Sebastian, using the nickname from when Seb won his first all those years ago.
Seb smiled. "That depends on how nice Y/N is feeling."
Y/N kept her gaze on the lights as each one appeared and as soon as they disappeared she let up off the break and slammed her foot down onto the accelerator, both her and Seb driving along side each other as they approached the first corner.
2025 was certainly going to be an interesting season.
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obeymeshallwedateaddict · 2 months ago
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Since the majority of the people who voted said yes I will be writing an unofficial season 4 of Obey me Nightbringer! Yay! ✌🏻
Anyway. Here is how it's going to go:
I will wait until the end of season 3 Obm NB. (Lesson 60) So I can get a good grasp of the story up to the end point.
I will post a new "lesson" every 10 days like it has been officially but I will continue to post my usual stuff including stories, requests and etc.
The lessons will most likely be dialogue based stories.
The stories will include everyone from the cast – brothers, dateables, side characters (and if it gets to a point Lilith, Michael and Father too) along with our adorable sheep MC.
MC will be Gender neutral with pronouns They/Them just like it has been in the game up to this point.
So that pretty much sums it up. If you have any questions or requests my requests are always open.
If you have any ideas about season 4 of Obey me Nightbringer (unofficial) don't hesitate to reach out to me whether it would be a comment under this or another post, a request or a DM message. I would love to hear your ideas and possibly make them a reality.
Note: It would mean a lot to me if you made sure that Season 4 Obey me Nightbringer (unofficial) reaches other people that haven't discovered my blog. You can repost here or in other platforms. Though if you repost in other platforms please give me credit.
You can expect season 4 Obey me Nightbringer (unofficial) next year (January 2025)
That's all I had to say. But know that.. The Devildom's gates are always open for you.
I'm expecting you!
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Lesson 61 (unofficial) is up! Here
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@arie2faced wanted to be tagged so there you go!
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You can find my work here: Masterlist
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twig-tea · 11 days ago
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GL Odds and Ends January 2025
I'm still trying to figure out what 2025 means for me in terms of where and how I spend my time, but one thing I am passionate about is making sure there is a record of GL media, so I'm going to try to prioritize keeping this up to at minimum monthly, though I might change up the format. Last one was end of December 2024. If you're interested in GL older than that, check out my GL rec list and my #gl recs tag for the other odds and ends posts. Series new to the roundup are marked with an asterisk*.
Currently airing (with thoughts up to 31 Jan):
Petrichor ep 9/10 (Thai, Saturdays, 10:00 AM ET, iQIYI) I've appreciated the struggle that Tul has gone through in terms of wanting to use her police powers to protect her family though that goes against her morals, and some of the procedural aspects I was grumbling about before have been explained by the plot. However, it still bothers me that she's not a very good detective. That being said, Engfa and Charlotte still have fantastic chemistry, and Na is having what seems like the time of his life.
*Us the series ep 2/12 (Thai, Saturdays, 8:00 AM ET, YouTube) I admit I think I have Chao Planoy fatigue. Age gap, both characters are lying to each other, there are abusive family members, and a guy who seems nice but I'm braced for a reveal about how he's actually awful. I'm feeling like I'm playing bingo. Honestly If someone gets hit by a car I might lose it. All my baggage aside, the pacing on this feels uneven and it doesn't feel like it has its feet yet.
*Call Me By No Name ep 4/8 (Japanese, Thursdays, 12:30 PM ET, GagaOOLala) Honestly I am not buying the romance between these two protagonists and I am finding them a little overwrought.
*Trunk Girl ep 1/? (Korean, possibly Thursdays, YouTube) This has just started, and the vibes are off. I am suspicious of the circumstances that led this runaway to stay with her friend, especially when she kissed her in her sleep (and I don't mean suspicious of sapphic feelings, those are already taken as given considering the genre).
*FirstLOVE ep 5/? (Korean, Mondays, YouTube) Toxic girlfriend gets replaced and then regrets letting her lover go. We'll see how this ends but this is another messy drama that feels pretty rough.
*I Am Devil ep 5/? (Thai, Saturdays, YouTube) Gonna be honest with y'all I watched ep1 and shelved the rest, it's a pulp in the style of high drama like Sastra and JPC below produce and just isn't my jam. If you're looking for high heat lakorn-style drama, give this a try.
[Note: Mate is still airing if you did not fast track, but since I did I've included it in the following section]
Recently Completed:
The Fragrance You inherit 8eps 25mins each (Japanese, 8 Nov 24-27 Dec 24, no official distribution but fansub on @isaksbestpillow's blog[thank you Siiri!] I loved this finale and wrote about it here. For those who don't want to click the link, in short this is not a romance but a really beautiful and sweet show about all kinds of interpersonal relationships.
Pluto 12eps 45 mins each (Thai, 19 Oct 24-04 Jan 25, YouTube) This series showcased the skills and chemistry of Namtan and Film, and had some of the most iconic product placement in a GL to date. The plot was messy but held together, and as much as I was unimpressed with their choices week to week, their choices made sense within the narrative (and genre) being told. I knew this one wasn't for me, but what it was doing, it did pretty well, and beautifully. The one real ding from me was the use of blindness as a metaphor that essentially got handwaved away; that and I think it was doing too much. But I am glad that before that, there was some great use of their platform to highlight the importance of universal design.
INTP 4eps 5 mins each (Korean, 27 Dec 24-22 Jan 25 YouTube) This is the latest short series from RedQ, who produced some of my favourite GL short series including More than or equal to 75 degrees C, and To the Ex who Hated Me. I said when this started that the setup of this one reminded me of Semantic Error if SangWoo realized he was attracted to JaeYoung at their first group assignment meeting, and I think that holds. These two fell for each other because they both care about the group project, and both protect each other. It's a bit short but I found it very sweet.
Mate, 12eps 50+ mins each (Thai, 26 Nov 24-28 Jan 25 fast-track or 4 Feb 25, WeTV (uncut version)) In the end this show remained a struggle for me. There were things it was doing that I really liked (the characters tried hard not to resort to noble idiocy, and when characters did resort to noble idiocy they were confronted with the consequences, for example), and things that I really did not, and there were parts that were really hard to watch and will haunt me. There are a lot of things I like about this show, so I don't want to discourage views. Just go into this one informed, and make the decision that's right for you.
*Adrenaline 4eps 15 mins each (Thai, 10 Jan-31 Jan 25, YouTube) This show is a cross between a travel ad and a lakorn. This is a major spoiler, but the main character has a secret condition where she forgets things that causes her to forget her first time with her girlfriend!? This show is so messy lol
Recent One-offs, Side Couples, etc.:
Fireworks of Yesteryear/When We Met has been made available on YouTube. A 35-minute Chinese GL that includes a makeout and as a result the production team have been working hard to get it in front of eyeballs. This is a moody piece with an open ending; there's an age gap too so YMMV (30s and 22).
GL microseries Your Name Engraved Herein (not to be confused with the BL feature film) has been subtitled by @douqi7s. Watch the original on Bilibili and enjoy the subs on YouTube. This one is also melancholy but it's some really tight storytelling in under 2 mins and manages to feel hopeful even though it's sad.
There is a lesbian side couple in Flirt Milk the series (airing now on iQIYI). This couple Noon and Praewa previously appeared as sides in Love Senior.
There is a new MV featuring a lesbian couple for the artist KnomJean on YouTube. This is one of those MVs that tells a story (TW for family violence) and after getting through the sad backstory, celebrates marriage equality in Thailand.
IdolFactory is re-running GAP the series on YouTube. If you've been putting off watching, now is a good time!
Speaking of re-runs, Yes Or No and the two sequel/spinoffs (Yes or No 2, and Yes or No 2.5) are all newly on GagaOOLala for streaming in some regions (I know for sure they're in North America, not sure about others)
Uranus2324 is starting to show up in particular places on the internet. I watched it and after all of the negative things I'd heard I actually liked it lol I'll see if I can write about it more this week
My suspected wlw sides in See Your Love ended up being implied only I was a little sad about this but at least I wasn't imagining the vibes.
Mom Ped Sawan is still airing but I still don't have a source for subs
Sastra film app YouTube channel has several short Cambodian GL series that come out weekly Honestly they are not to my taste but I don't like gatekeeping GL especially from smaller markets. I check in on these time to time and if there are any that I think are great I'll give them a shout-out
Ditto above with JPC media YouTube channel for Thai GL shorts if there are any that stand out to me I'll say so; that being said I haven't had time recently so if I've missed anything good let me know!
Starting soon:
Reverse With Me (sequel spinoff to Reverse 4 U), Thai, 5 Feb, iQIYI and Ch3+ app
Fragrance of the First Flower s2, Taiwanese, 18 February 2025, GagaOOLala ok this isn't that soon but I'm just so excited we're getting this second season after all!
As always, if I'm missing anything, please let me know!
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dreamsofbroflovski · 1 month ago
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yo…hear me out..
what the main four or others (as long as kyles in it..) are like for new years celebrations!
happy 2025 yall. let’s cook.
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oh look its kyle bufflobster on that gif. my personal enemy.
Happy 2025!!! Hope everyone's having a great time already! As for me, I managed to drink cider that's been expired since 2021. It's going swell.
My first request for headcanons! I don't even know if I did these right, but I really did rack my brain. I also added some words about how they'd be with the reader because why not.
MAIN FOUR HEADCANONS - NEW YEAR'S CELEBRATIONS
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𓆩♡𓆪 STAN MARSH
First thing that needs to be said: this man is pissed off days in advance over fireworks - if he has any pets, he has to make absolutely sure they’re safe and secure before anything else. He’s that guy who’s very vocal about how bad they are for animals (doesn’t really mention their effects on people), has probably tried to get them banned completely at some point.
Now that that’s out of the way. I think he’s the type to stay holed up in his home, order takeout and treat it as just another evening. 
With the exception that he’ll have an excuse to drink a whole lot of cheap champagne without anyone being up his ass about it.
Avoids his family altogether, mostly due to his father wanting to go absolutely wild on the holiday, he needs to be far away from all that.
He’s not opposed to attending a party and being around his friends, but will not actively seek that out.
And if he’s partying, he’s gonna go blackout drunk and probably miss the actual turn of the year - only to try and drunkenly state his well wishes (or personal grievances) to everyone half an hour later when the whole thing has pretty much died down.
Thumbs up reacts to everyone’s texts on the afternoon of Jan 1st; no real response.
No resolutions at all. There’s no point - at the end of the day, the new year is just a continuation of everything that has been going on in his life. If he has to achieve anything, he’ll do so of his own accord, making a promise is just putting unnecessary weight on his own shoulders.
If he’s with you, however… He can be a little better and put more effort into it, because he sees how excited you are and doesn’t wanna burst your bubble.
Will do whatever you wanna do, but has a high preference for it just being the two of you somewhere isolated, with some food and music and the aforementioned champagne (which he drinks a lot less of if you’re present)
Will pull you into a kiss right as the fireworks start and try to keep you distracted for the duration, both because he wants to be as close to you as possible in that moment and also so that he can ignore the things entirely.
Will tell you all about how he loves you and how you’re the best thing that’s happened to him. Even if he sounds drunk, you know he means all of it entirely.
𓆩♡𓆪 KYLE BROFLOVSKI
He’s probably nothing special on NYE. Probably also stays at home, but not isolated.
Jewish New Year isn’t on Dec 31st, but I still think his parents do a little something, like some nice dinner or a reunion with extended family members or friends.
If he finds himself at some party, he’s pretty well-behaved even there. I don’t see him raising hell - however, if anyone stresses him out, he’ll fight like it’s any other old day.
Is the one fucker who brought the expensive champagne that no one can recognize the name of - which got the same treatment as the other cheap ones from the supermarket.
I do unfortunately see him in the position of designated driver. Someone has to make sure his dumbass friends don’t kill themselves on the road. That doesn’t mean he’s ever happy about it, though.
Watches people partake in superstitions, but doesn’t do any of them himself.
Sends ‘Happy New Year’ texts to almost everyone he knows as soon as midnight rolls over.
Makes resolutions and sticks to them - writes them, pins them to the wall, the whole nine yards. Morning of Jan 1st he’s already making detailed plans about how he’s going to achieve everything he said he would that year (whether those plans actually succeed is a whole different animal)
If he’s with you… He absolutely tries to make it a special night, despite it meaning little to him in a superstitious sense.
He’s also in the position where your plans are his plans, he’ll follow you. However, if you do accept to spend NYE with his family and him the whole time, it sends his heart soaring because he knows that you’re choosing him above all the other stuff you could be doing, and he’ll make sure you have a great time even if his family is… difficult.
Brings you into a soft and tender kiss as the new year rolls over, holding you close as you both share a toast of champagne and sort of ignore the first fireworks in favor of being with each other.
At the top of his resolution list is the mission to make your year the best it can possibly be, and to love you through all of it. He hasn’t really written that down on his list, though - because it’s on his mind 24/7 anyway.
𓆩♡𓆪 ERIC CARTMAN
Leaves his mother alone - he’s at a party somewhere, for sure. Even if he was invited to none, he’ll sneak his way in. Since no one really has it in them to argue with him on NYE, he gets to stay.
Which shouldn’t even be a bad thing, because he actually brings the heat; he shows up with several beverages and food every time. The part of it that sucks is the fact that everything he brings is for his consumption, so he’s still an expense to the host.
He can, however, legitimately be trusted with the aux. Actual decent taste when it comes to party music.
That one guy making jokes about how he ‘hasn’t showered since last year’ or shit. Except he says them at 10pm still on Dec 31st and no one’s sure if he’s just stupid or if it’s really true.
Wears party accessories ironically; possibly brought them.
Buys whole boxes of fireworks. He’ll try to find some poor soul to do the work of lighting them up for him, but normally can’t, so he does it himself and probably needs to be taken to the hospital from the burns or sets fire to something else entirely.
Makes posts and stories on social media wishing a half-assed Happy New Year to ‘everyone’ - when in reality he got maybe like, two texts at most. (Butters and his mom, most likely)
Strangely superstitious? People will see him go through all the possible traditions that anyone said would bring him good fortune. If anyone asks him about it, he’ll deny deny deny - actually, he’s wearing full white ‘because it’s drip’ and eating those grapes under the table ‘because he doesn’t want to share them’, it’s definitely not that he fears for his own luck if he doesn’t do so.
Since he is a little ‘stitious, that does mean he makes resolutions. And they’re usually grandiose, full of bullshit, and don’t really signify any relevant positive change for his life - it’s mostly just material and physical gratification. Needless to say, they’ve never come to fruition.
If he’s with you, barely anything changes, really.
Talks to you about his plans for the evening as if they’re a done deal. Basically drags you to whatever it is he wants to do. (You might even be the reason he’s able to get into a party to begin with)
Doesn’t kiss you straight away because he’s busy with his fireworks, but if he manages to not hurt himself, you get a heavy makeout session afterwards.
He talks mad shit about how you’re lucky to have him and how you should thank him for spending this time with you, but in reality, there’s nowhere else he’d rather be.
Immensely grateful for your presence in his life and willing to do anything to keep it that way. However, you won’t hear a single word about it.
𓆩♡𓆪 KENNY MCCORMICK
Out of his house by sundown - the addicts around him don’t really need a special occasion for doing their shit and stirring trouble, but it still seems to worsen on the holidays, so he wants to avoid that.
The protection Stan feels towards animals, he feels towards his siblings. Before he goes do anything else, he has to make sure they’re accounted for, with their friends somewhere safe where they can enjoy the night.
When that’s dealt with, it’s party time. He does get invited to stuff, and tries his best to not show up empty-handed, even if it’s just a bottle of cheap alcohol. He might still fail in that regard, though, but it’s okay, we still love him.
Wears all the ridiculous party accessories unironically.
Has died, more than once, due to firework-related accidents. Still enjoys watching them, albeit from a very safe distance now.
Watches the ball drop livestream on the television with great interest, even if just because it’s in HD this time. Celebrates heavily when it finally happens.
His ‘Happy New Year’ texts come in the afternoon, because he’s always too wasted in the morning to tell anyone anything. People might receive a drunken nonsensical jumble of letters at midnight, though.
Says surface-level words about a resolution or two, but it’s mostly really simple stuff. Also doesn’t really hold any of that to heart, because he knows of his own bad luck.
Doing the absolute most for a new year’s kiss (or several), practically on his knees begging for it.
However, if he’s with you… You’re getting way more than a kiss. It doesn’t even matter where y’all are, he’s starting the year by doing his favorite thing with his favorite person.
He kinda drags you into his plans, but it’s not in a selfish way like Cartman does. He just wants to make sure the both of you have a great time.
If you turn out to invite him personally to spend time with your family or just yourself, words cannot describe how happy he’s gonna be. It’ll basically make his whole year. He’ll ditch any party for that.
Partying all night with his baby, watching the fireworks, making love and not having to worry about anything else? Count this dude in.
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Dividers by @cafekitsune
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putschki1969 · 23 days ago
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Kalafina Anniversary Live 2025 Report
It's finally here, sorry for the long wait!! Let me share some overall thoughts first( ^_^)/~~~
Venue: Probably the newest and fanciest venue I‘ve ever been to. Loved all the screens with Kalafina visuals. They had them across the entire area, some bigger, some smaller and a really big one in front of the venue itself. The theater appeared to be a bit intimidating at first glance but I actually appreciated the layout, I feel like you got to have a pretty decent view from most places, even in the upper balconies.
Collaboration events: This one was somewhat of a fail for me. Originally, I wasn’t too impressed with most of the collaboration food but I was still eager to get it, especially the stuff that was wrapped nicely. The chocolates looked lovely but they were already sold out when I arrived at 11:00 on the 15th.🥲Was also planning to get the katsu sandwich in the Kalafina packaging but that was sold out as well. Not afraid to admit that I cried a little when I realised I woudn't be able to get them...I did get one of those gorgeous tray sheets at Taco Bell at least🙌 Managed to secure one of those tiny photo cards too but meh, honestly nothing to write home about. Gave me the opportunity to write something on the message board though so that’s a good thing 👍 The whole gacha situation was a challenge to say the least. So exhausting! I got a numbered ticket (#127) for the queue so I could start lining up at 13:30 (was actually one of the first people to enter). This worked out pretty smoothly and everyone was able to enter earlier than expected. At first I was lining up in the wrong queue because they were telling people they had to go through the on-site merch sale area first. Thankfully, a staff member came over and guided me and some others to the direct queue (after all, I wasn’t planning to buy any merch since I had already made my reservation). My first gacha round didn’t take too long since most people were still busy buying merch and there were a total of ten machines (also had prepared my 500 yen coins the day before so I didn't have to line up to change my money). I was moderately lucky but didn’t get some of the items I wanted🙃 So after I picked up my live goods during my assigned time slot, I got back in the queue to do a second gacha round😅. This time the wait was long, probably an hour or so. Also, 10,000 yen just gone☠️Thanks to @concretebadger and my super kind friend, I managed to get the complete set! BANZAI🤗 I also got two lovely tokutens for participating in the big flower stand project (a postcard and badge of the drawing). Almost didn't get to meet up with the organisers of the project but thankfully I ran into them right before the start of the show (generally, I find it fascinating how many people I managed to run into despite the sheer amount of people at the venue - thanks to everyone who said 'hi').
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Seat: I really liked my seat and am glad I went for the balcony area. Had a completely unobstructed view of the stage🥰It was a little further away of course but I did bring my binoculars so it was fine.👍 In my vicinity people were thankfully not very keen to stand up all the time so I had one less thing to worry about. The screens on the side were also a perfect size to see their facial expressions. The people in charge of the projections made sure to include a lot of close-ups 😍 Bless them!
Sound: Maybe it was just my specific location towards the left side on the balcony but the sound system was a bit off I think, or possibly the manipulator did a horrible job with the mixing? How did everyone else feel about this? The background music was often overly loud (if not to say obnoxiously noisy) and drowned out the vocals. During some parts, it was honestly hard to hear the girls among all the other noises. It was much better during songs that had a more simple or acoustic arrangement. The microphones seemed to have some issues too at times because there were a few distortions (?) which made their voices sound different (?) and occasionally, you just couldn’t hear them singing the beginning of certain lines - this could theoretically be chalked up to them being hesitant and starting too quiet (Wakana does that at times) but it happened a little too often to all three of them which is why I‘m assuming there might have been some technical issues.
Vocals: What are seven years? Nothing! It was like no time had passed at all! Some people may disagree but for the most part, the girls sounded amazing to me! I thoroughly enjoyed myself and very rarely heard notes that made me cringe. I was amazed how they managed to just pick up where they left off. Of course there were parts that were less flattering and they had some of their usual hiccups but I feel like they handled everything pretty well. Have they done better and more polished live renditions of some of these songs in the past? Probably (tho there were some stand-out performances that impressed me more than their old versions). Overall, there was clearly a lot of effort and love put into each and every performance and at the end of the day, that's all that counts for me. They didn’t “phone-in” their singing, they put all their heart into it and you could tell. I even liked songs that I am usually not such a huge fan of (e.g. “ring your bell” and “ Alleluia”). Also, say what you will but there’s a huge contrast between the YKL Kalafina covers and the real thing, it’s almost jarring how different they sound so I particularly appreciated performances of the songs that had previously been covered at YKL. Needless to say, I much prefer the real thing! It's just not the same without Wakana and I must say, Wakana delivered solid vocals during most songs that required those super high and long notes. Hikaru also did a great job and sounded powerful throughout most of the setlist. She was getting visibly tired though towards the end of the up-beat section (Wakana on the other hand surprised me with her stamina). As for Keiko, do I even have to say it? She delivered a fabulous performance as one would expect from her. She nailed all her epic long notes (e.g. “Hyakka Ryouran”, “Kyrie”, “Hikaru Furu” - she sounded better than she did during the 10th Anniversary Live if you ask me)
Production & arrangement: Honestly nothing special or outstanding. They kept it simple and remained faithful to Kalafina’s usual M.O. The focus was on their voices and there wasn’t anything extravagant to distract from that. On the contrary, I feel like there was a conscious effort being made to include more acappella parts to highlight their harmony. With the exception of a few instrumentals and solos, I don’t think Satoshi Takebe added a lot of creative twists to change the original sound. He even mentioned in a tweet that he wanted to pay tribute to Yuki Kajiura’s work, stay true to her music/style and not make it his own or anything. On this note, I would like to add that YK's absence was not really an issue. As I have mentioned a few times already, YK has rarely been an integral part of their live productions so her not being in charge of this concert, has done nothing to affect its quality.
Atmosphere: 1000/10. The girls were in such a good mood and determined to make this concert the best experience ever. It really felt like they had never been apart. Their interactions with each other were heart-felt and didn’t come across as staged or forced. You could tell how much they missed performing together. The audience was also super responsive and everyone seemed to have the time of their lives (myself included of course).
Setlist: Admittedly, it wasn’t what I had hoped for but it was pretty much what I had expected from this sort of live so I can’t be mad. And there were a few really pleasant surprises that I didn’t think they would include (“Hanataba”, “Lacrimosa”, “Kyrie” and “Hyakka Ryouran”) so YAY for that. Also beyond happy that they did an acoustic version of “sprinter” because that’s so much better than the studio version (which I typically don’t like). Same goes for "KnGnN". Check out a detailed report below the cut 〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→
1 oblivious: I knew it was coming and it’s usually not a song I’m particularly fond of but this performance may have been the best one I’ve ever heard (biased opinion but hey, you can’t blame me for that😅). The song kicked me right in the feels! Or maybe it was just like a dream come true to hear/see them together again! When they appeared on stage, they looked like angels. What a revelation to see them in all their glory once the sheer curtain was dropped. They sounded amazing, absolutely breathtaking! Was impressed by everyone’s vocals. Shout-out to Hikaru for her high notes! For a few lines in the beginning, Wakana didn’t quite sound like herself (the distortion I was talking about earlier?) but I am not sure if it was a lowered pitch or something the manipulator did on purpose to smooth out her voice. It sounded okay and wasn’t too distracting so I didn’t mind it. Later on, her voice sounded like it usually did during “oblivious” so maybe it was just a glitch or whatever. When Wakana and Keiko did their little back-and-forth duet thingy, I almost started crying because I had missed them so much. WaKei FOREVER 🤗
2 Kizuato: A bit bummed that they didn’t perform “Kimi ga Hikari ni Kaete Iku” (then again, I might have died instantly so it was probably a good thing) but this was a beautiful performance so I can’t complain. The three of them once again sounded amazing and their harmonies were to die for.
3 Mirai: Typically one of their weaker live performances and this was no exception. But really, it’s about getting that connection with the audience, running around on stage, greeting the audience and having fun. I don’t mind if it’s not polished and I usually don’t even pay attention to that during this song.
4 Hikari no Senritsu: Felt a bit all over the place so I wasn��t quite able to get into it. The music was overbearing at times and it took away from the charm of a few individual lines. I expected to be touched by the performance since Keiko had been going on and on about how this was her favourite song to sing together but I didn’t have a particularly strong reaction to it. To be fair though, it has never been one of my favourite songs so that might have been the reason for my rather lukewarm reaction. An interesting cello solo from Masateru spiced things up a little but otherwise, there weren’t any significant changes.
5 storia: For this one, I always keep my expectations low regarding vocals because I know it’s a hit and miss when it comes to Wakana and Hikaru. It’s been like this forever so I’m not surprised to hear them struggling at times. Nevertheless, this is a song I have always enjoyed so I can easily look past minor issues. As expected, the girls did struggle a bit (Hikaru in particular didn't deliver the most flattering performance) but it was totally fine. That final chorus once again caught me right in the feels, especially the WaKei part🥹Both the YKL cover and Wakana's solo cover are still fresh in my mind so to finally hear the song as it is meant to be, feels like such a blessing.
6 ring your bell: The piano intro was a bit misleading and for a couple seconds there, I seriously thought they would be introducing a brand new song 😅 It was a nice touch though, I do enjoy intros like that (probably Takebe's idea). Surprisingly, I liked this performance more than I thought I would. I usually give this one a pass because I don't care for the unflattering vocals. I've never understood why it keeps getting performed when it is such a challenging song. But this time, I honestly enjoyed almost all of it (especially Wakana's parts at the end- she did a great job here). Those YK cover versions pale in comparison if you ask me.
7 Hanataba: What a surprise! 😮 Possibly one of their best (if not the best) performances of the night. Usually not a fan of the accordion but here I didn’t mind it. They made some minor changes to the arrangement to highlight the accordion and the vocals. The girls were on fire, especially Hikaru. You could tell she was happy that her chosen song made it onto the setlist.
8 Lacrimosa: From one surprise to another. I was actually expecting them to sing “Consolation” at this point because according to the previous MC, this was meant to be their “Consolation” album block. Would have been happier with “Consolation” to be honest but “Lacrimosa” was a nice treat too. The background music was quite loud again so some vocal parts weren’t discernible or got overshadowed by other stuff.
9 Manten: I don't remember much from it so it must not have stood out to me.
10 to the beginning: Never liked it but this time, I had a blast. A fantastic performance with so much energy and love put into it. The audience went crazy of course so that was also fun to watch. While I personally do not stand up for songs and categorically refuse to partake in any weird arm movements (clapping is the most I will do), I still think it's nice to see everyone so invested.
11 Kimi no Gin no Niwa with strings: This was beautiful. Just strings and piano, might have been my favourite rendition of all time (and I am usually not even such a huge fan of the song). Quite a few more acappella lines than usual I think. Gorgeous arrangement.
12 sprinter with strings: What can I say? Perfect. No notes. Tears everywhere. So glad they decided to go for an acoustic version (by now we all know how much I dislike the studio version). It wasn't as emotional as that Arena Live encore performance but for me, it came pretty close.
13 Hyakka Ryouran: Became a big fan after the 10th Anniversary performance. Didn't expect them to include it once again in the setlist but I certainly didn't mind. This one was just as solid I would say although I feel like Keiko was actually a bit stronger here than she was back then, especially during her "yaiba".
14 misterioso: Meh, one of my least favourite Kala-songs but coincidentally, one of their most frequently performed tracks. I have always wondered why but I guess there are a lot of people who love it (especially in the anisong community). Wasn't really into it so I don't remember anything significant.
15 One Light: Super happy about it. A perfect candidate for their up-beat corner and really a true banger. Don't think there has ever been a bad performance of this, they always slay. I believe they missed the mark a little on that moment where they all come together to raise their arms right before the climax. It felt a little rushed so the cameras for the screen didn't capture it properly XD (it was probably fine for those in the front rows who could see every detail up-close). Either way, the audience erupted into cheers when Hikaru did her infamous "yukeru" kneel.
16 Kyrie: Wooohoo, one of my favourite Kala-songs so I am always excited to hear it performed live. Certainly a surprise though because I didn't think it would be chosen for their Anniversary Live setlist. The audio was pretty messy during this one and I was sad to hear that Keiko's drawn out "Kyrie" at the end didn't get as much attention as it deserved.
17 Ongaku: It started out a little weird in a slightly different tempo than I am used to (at least I think so?). It was a minor thing but big enough to distract me a little for a minute or so. Keiko slayed though and Super!Wakana knocked it out of the park (loved how Keiko held her hand when she helped her walk up the stairs for the solo)
18 heavenly blue: A long-ass up-beat section comes to an end with another banger. After this one, Keiko even said that this was one of their most challenging corners they ever did. It's always fun when Keiko asks the audience after "Ongaku" if we can handle yet another up-beat song (of course we can!) and they transition right into either "Signal" or "heavenly blue" (pretty much their go-to songs for an epic ending). I do love "heavenly blue" so I am happy they included it. The background vocals during the bridge were a little too loud for my taste so you couldn't hear the girls properly (the bridge is one of my favourite parts of the song).
19 Alleluia: There was no doubt in my mind that they would either finish the main section or the entire concert with this song. Didn't expect to love the performance as much as I did. Usually not the biggest fan of the song since Wakana's parts are not particularly flattering for her and even Keiko tends to get a little shouty at times. But this time, I rally enjoyed the song and the minor issues didn't really register with me all that much. Guess I was just too deep into the emotions they were trying to convey.
En1 Magia: So glad they included this! I always thought it was a shame that it didn’t make it onto the 10th Anniversary setlist. We heard a lot of YK cover versions in the past couple of years (to a point where I was getting a little tired of the song) but this revived my love 😍 So good!! The guitar solo sounded weird to me and didn’t have a proper transition to Keiko’s bridge part but that might just be my personal perception. Maybe the guitar fans among you thought it was great😅Keiko’s solo also lacked a bit of oomph but I think it was her microphone’s fault 🙃Hikaru sounded a bit quiet too at times. Hopefully they can fix those minor issues with some studio magic before they do the TV broadcast.
En2 Hikari Furu: Another elaborate piano intro (different from the ones that Sakurada used to do) but this time it was pretty obvious they would sing "Hikari Furu" so I didn't have to guess. Unfortunately, the song sounded a little meh vocal-wise, certainly one of their messier live versions and overall, one of the least enjoyable performances of the night for me which is a huge shame because this is one of my all-time faves. Lots of things came together here so I can’t put the blame on a single factor. For some reason, their voices wouldn’t blend well together and both Wa and Hi had a few too many screechy moments. Wakana sounded almost hoarse when she started singing (maybe she got a little emotional?) and at the end she had some very noticeable shaking during her long notes (I know she has that a lot for her solo stuff too but I didn’t really notice it all that much in other songs from that night but here it was hard to ignore). The background music was also quite loud during the climax of the song so it didn’t exactly help to make it sound better. Keiko delivered an awesome "mabushii asa" though.
En3 into the world: Perfect ending to be honest and again, nothing beats this, not even a YKL cover (although I will say that I enjoy those too). It was kinda bittersweet though. Obviously this song is about taking new paths, not knowing what lies ahead. And really, this is what we have to deal with right now.
At this point, the future is blurry, no one knows what will happen to Kalafina. The girls didn’t even hint at any possible future activities. There was just an endless amount of appreciation for the past and present. Every time one of them thanked the fans for patiently waiting for Kalafina’s return, I couldn’t help but tear up a little. Yes, the wait was rough and I am sure many people lost hope along the way but I personally always knew we'd see them back together again. And when Wakana straight up broke into tears during an MC (with Keiko comforting her and shielding her from the cameras), I cried like a baby (especially when Wakana cried even harder and made Keiko tear up too) 🥲 All the pent-up emotion just came to the surface. Hikaru on the other was determined not to cry throughout the whole concert. They are too precious for this world!! I really hope they don't cut this moment from the broadcast (but knowing them, they probably will). For the time-being, I’ll just follow Keiko’s advice and continue listening to Kalafina and love them🥰Who knows, maybe one day…? I'll never give up hope and I don't think the girls will either. While she didn't outright say it, Keiko couldn't help but utter a few hopeful words, more like a prayer actually, "叶うならまた~/And if my wish would come true, maybe [we can do this/sing together] again~" It was an amazing concert, I had the time of my life and will treasure those memories forever. Thank you Kalafina!!
Cannot wait for the TV broadcast to experience all of this again and to relive every little detail. I should have written the report right away (or taken some extensive notes) when my memories were still fresh but my schedule for the following days was simply too busy. Now I'm back home and fighting against a jet-lag so the finer details are escaping me T_T (I feel like I am getting a few things mixed up and don't even know which things happened in which MC)
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therealcocoshady · 27 days ago
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Kinktober Day 7 - Cream Pie
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Kinktober 2024 Masterlist
A/N : first post of 2025 !!! And I felt like sharing a little something I wrote a while ago and got to finalizing recently ! 😉❤️. I hope you enjoy it !
CW : Creampie
Marshall just loves to give you a cream pie. As soon as things got remotely serious between the two of you, he almost begged for a « no condom » policy. « We’re exclusive and our test results came back clean», he argued. As for you, you were pretty indifferent. If anything, you found condoms to be quite practical. They didn’t bother you and, as an added bonus, they spared you the awful side effects of the various contraception methods you’d tried over the years. Therefore, you weren’t exactly thrilled when he suggested getting rid of them. « Does that make that much of a difference ? », you’d asked. Of course, the man proceeded to explain to you that, yes, it did made a whole lot of a difference. And when you argued that some rubber brands promise that their products feel like nothing’s there and that your ex never complained, he was forced to admit to you that he had a cream pie kink. « Isn’t that just a weird way of saying you enjoy cumming inside ? » you asked said with a raised eyebrow. He let out an awkward chuckle. He seemed kind of nervous to talk about it but he cleared his throat and proceeded to explain with more details. « It’s not really about that. I mean, yeah, it is, but there’s more. With a condom sex still feels good but there’s this thing between us, you know ? I don’t want to have a barrier. I don’t know, it’s feel like a… deeper connection. » he said. You smiled and placed a tender kiss on his jaw. « Careful, handsome, I’m going to think you’re actually a softie », you teased playfully. He huffed and gave you a smirk. « Soft, huh ? » he mused. « Well, yeah », you shrugged. « Getting all romantic, wanting to be all close to me ». He hummed and cupped your jaw before inching just a little closer to you. « You should hold that thought for when I have my way with you without holding back and I claim all your holes as mine. We’ll see how romantic you find it then. ». Your eyes widened as he spoke, causing him to smirk even more. You stayed silent for a second, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. « All my holes ? » you asked with a soft grin. Clearly, the man knew who he was dealing with. You had not done anal with him yet, but you had mentioned enjoying it and, clearly, he remembered. « All of them », he repeated with a promising smile. « And… No holding back ? » you quizzed. « Nope ». Of course, that did the trick convincing you. He knew you liked it rough, and the perspective of him getting territorial and feral, claiming ownership over you was much too enticing. You’d even go so far as to say it was absolutely worth the six additional pounds you gained in a couple weeks after going on the pill. 
Safe to say Marshall did not disappoint.  As soon as the two of you were positive there was no risk of pregnancy, he went absolutely feral. You’d had sex before - great sex, you’d say, probably the best you’d ever had - but allowing him to hit it raw seemed to change everything. For one, he became demonically horny. You had figured he already had a high sex drive but, boy, were you wrong. It started as soon as the words left your lips. « Yeah, it’s safe to  do it without -». He didn’t even let you finish. You saw the immediate change of shade in his eyes, a smirk forming on his lips. You could literally feel him radiate heat. He immediately closed the distance between the two of you, his tattooed arms bracketing you against the wall with an undeniable presence. You felt the strength in his body as he pressed your back, the coolness of the wall contrasting with the warmth that emanated from him. His blue eyes locked onto yours for a brief moment, searching, before his lips descended on yours with a fervor that made your breath hitch. The kiss was deep, his beard grazing your skin, adding an extra layer of sensation. His hands, rough but confident, slid along your sides, gripping your waist as he pulled you closer, pressing every inch of his body against yours. The kiss  quickly grew more urgent, more insistent, as he tilted your head back with one hand, deepening the connection, savoring the taste of you. Your fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt, desperate to ground yourself as his mouth trailed from your lips to your jaw, then to the sensitive skin of your neck. Your breathing became ragged, mingling in the heated space between you. He was pressed against you and the gray sweatpants he was wearing did nothing to prevent you from feeling his excitement. His lips trailed from your jaw to your neck, where he planted lust-filled open-mouth kisses that sent shivers down your spine. His hands were holding you firmly, possessively, fingers digging in your hips. You hummed in please, unable to focus on anything but his grounding presence. You arched into him, your body responding instinctively, seeking more of the heat and pressure he offered. His mouth moved lower, brushing along your collarbone, tasting, teasing, before returning to your lips with renewed urgency. This time, the kiss felt hungrier, more demanding, as if he was trying to draw every ounce of you into him. One of his hands tangled in your hair, tilting your head back just the way he wanted it, while the other glided down your spine, anchoring you to him. He pressed closer, letting you feel the hard lines of his body, the weight of him pinning you firmly against the wall. His teeth grazed your bottom lip, a gentle nip that sent a shiver racing through you, followed by a soothing sweep of his tongue that left you breathless.You melted against him, hands exploring the expanse of his back, feeling the muscles flex and shift under your touch. He growled softly against your lips, a low, rough sound that vibrates through you, stirring something deep and primal. Every touch, every kiss, felt like a claim, an unspoken promise of more to come, and as he drew back just enough to meet your gaze, his eyes dark with desire, full of unspoken words that made your heart skip a beat.
It didn’t take long for your clothes to lay forgotten in a corner of the bedroom, Marshall practically ripping them off your body, as if he couldn’t stand any barrier between your body and his hands. And when he finally held you, you could feel his fingers digging in your skin. Throughout your relationship, he’d always shown appreciation for your body. But he seemed to be on another level, practically worshipping you, muttering words of ownership, promising to make you his. And when you finally felt him - just him - inside of you, the room filled with sighs of satisfaction. It was, quite literally, raw and primal. As promised, he didn’t hold back, encouraged by every gasp, moan and whimper you let out, every scratch of your nails in his back. You felt your eyes roll back, amazed that you’d waited this long to try this. You were on the edge of climax when you warned him. « Marshall, I-I’m gonna- » you moaned, almost pleading for him to take you there. He usually liked to keep you on the edge, sometimes denying you but, this time, none of you felt like beating around the bush. Especially not with the words that fell from your lips. « Fill me. Please »you almost whispered. It didn’t take much more for him to get absolutely unhinged with his thrusts. He tightened his hold around you and you could feel him - actually feel him - fill you to the hilt while you repeated his name like a prayer. When his hips finally stilled, the two of you stayed like that for a moment, catching your breaths. Your face was buried in his neck and none of you moved, as if the world had stopped turning. You could practically hear your own heart pounding. When he rolled to the side, you winced and immediately felt the mess he had made between your legs. 
You stayed like this, looking g as if your soul had left your body, while he looked at you with a shit-eating grin. « You alright, babe? » he asked with feigned innocence. You turned to him and nodded, still catching your breath. « You really weren’t kidding » you hummed, to which he chuckled. « Told you I’d claim this pussy as mine » he added with a wink. « And I’m not done with you yet ». 
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pinkkop · 1 month ago
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Best BLs of 2024
To my surprise, it appears that we've entered 2025, so before I give myself over to the new year I wanted to share my 15 favourite BLs of 2024 in no particular order. Here we go!!!
🇹🇼 The On1y One
This show came complete out of left field and absolutely blew me away! The slow burn was just so delicious which I actually think is a pretty hard thing to do but with acting this good and a great production quality, it did not ever get too slow or too boring. I just wish they would get a second season because, as I've talked about before, I'm convinced the creators intended for this to be just the first season. I'm still holding out hope for a second season but I do worry that since we haven't heard anything concrete yet that we might not get one.
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🇰🇷 The Time of Fever
I already knew this was going to be good since I loved these two in Unintentional Love Story. This is actually very similar to The On1e One and did it just as well but with a slightly different approach. The yearning was palpable in the best way possible!
It's such a pity that it seems like the Korean BL market is struggling right now but this show was no disappointment. Would love a sequel to Unintentional Love Story now because I need to see these two finally get their shit together.
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🇹🇼 Unknown
Taiwan does gray area stories so well and this was a perfect example. It was so delicious to witness Yuan just love and yearn for Qian and just get stronger and stronger in the conviction that he was made for loving Qian. I'm also just weak for a character who doesn't think much of themselves and don't believe they deserve to be loved like their romantic interest wants to and then for them to finally cave to the persistence of their romantic partner. Could watch a trillion of those types of pairings and this show was a really good take on the trope.
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🇰🇷 Love for Love's Sake
This was an odd one but I really liked the concept. The acting, plot and production was really good and I liked how this added something fresh. It's a similar type of pairing as Unknown so again this was right up my alley. One of these days I should look at all my favourite shows and see how often this dynamic pops up because I bet it's a lot. 
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🇹🇭 Cherry Magic th
Is this the same type of pairing as both Unknown and Love For Love's Sake?!  You bet it is!!!
Tay and New were just so good in this. I loved that they're both actual dorks but Karan is just better at hiding it so Ashi believed Karan was better than him. In reality they were just the same and perfect for each other. Also I just absolutely love this version of Karan because, as I said before, he' was's such a dork and hearing his inner thoughts through Ashi's powers was such a highlight of this show. Favourite scene was in the bus when Ashi leaned on Karan's shoulder and you just heard Karan's internal screaming. Such a mood!! It just made Karan so much more down to earth and I think Ashi and Karan are one of the few BL pairings where I can imagine them being together for the rest of their lives because they'd be both best friends and lovers.
I did struggle with the Pai character because she was such a good female character and representation of the struggles a lot of woman have. I so badly wanted her to stay single and happy on her own and it felt unnecessary to pair her with Rock. Even more so because her Japanese counter part was actually asexual so I would have loved for Pai to have a similar story line.
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🇯🇵 25 Ji, Akasaka de
Just so much pining!!! And another character feeling unworthy of their romantic interest but I feel like this was slightly different, more in an idolizing way and Japan does that really well. 
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🇨🇳 Blue Canvas of Youthful Days
This was such a raw feeling show and s big surprise coming out of China. It felt real and raw without feeling like it was low quality. I loved both pairings so much and maybe I'm a masochist but I loved having my heart broken every week.
It didn't quite stick the landing but honestly, with it being China, I'm not surprised the ending got muddled and famously I don't mind when a show doesn't stick it's landing (See my love of HIStory3: Make Our Days Count). It's still worth watching so much and I will definitely watch it again myself. 
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🇹🇭 Every You, Every Me
I already enjoyed Top and Mick in their segment of My Universe so I was very excited for this one. This was also a nice surprise because I was just expecting another anthology show but the way they connected the couples was really clever. The ending was a little weak but again here, I didn't think it really hurt the show too much, it just meant this is a good show that could have been even more amazing.
I feel like Top and Mick really proved themselves in this and I really hope that we get more of them. They're a rare pairing that don't visually have a clear top/bottom dynamic while also being good enough actors to be able to both pull of playing both roles.
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🇹🇭 I Saw You in My Dream
This was a cute little show and I was happily surprised that they pulled off the more ambitious concept of the prophetic dreams. Both couples were really great and I had such a good time watching along. 
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🇨🇳 Meet You at the Blossom
Finally a Wuxia BL from China, by the help of Thailand and Taiwan. This was all I wanted it to be and I can't wait to see how these actors do going forward with them being Chinese and all. I hope we get more Wuxia BLs because this was soooo much fun. I loved both main and secondary characters and pairings and the plot was just the right amount of unhinged.
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🇹🇭 We Are
I was worried about this show having so many couples and episodes but I loved how they intertwined and balanced the pairings and gave us a show which was engaging and interesting all the way through.
I love me some found family and all the pairings were great in their own ways. I did particularly love Peem and Phum. It's the hurt character with walls so high all over again (adds another tally to the count). To be honest PhumPeem are still rotating in my mind to this day which I think is a testament to how well this show was executed.
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🇹🇭 Spare Me Your Mercy
This was such an engaging watch and it was so cool to get another BL which was really a romance second and another genre first. The crime and mystery of this show was really great and the production quality fit really well. I talked in this post about it struggling with only having 8 episodes which I wholeheartedly think is most of the reason why this show is just good and not absolutely amazing. 
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🇯🇵 Takara no Vidro
Another little gem of a show with characters who are perfect for each other but don't believe they're worthy of the other person. Japan does this really well so this was a success. 
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🇹🇭 Pit Babe
This was a wild ride with a wild plot and concept but it committed to the bit and made me really invested in the characters and made it easy to get on board with the ABO dynamic of this show and what it meant for the plot.  
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🇰🇷 Love in the Big City
This was a top tier QL! It's one of those BLs that are really more about the realities of being queer than the romance which is when a ton of people pop out of the woodwoork to debate whether this is a BL or Queer Media™ as if the latter is inherently better than the first, which is a ridiculous sentiment. Sure, if you don't want to call this a BL because the focus is much more on the realities of being Queer in South Korea then I'm not going to burn you at the stake but don't make this out to be better than BL as a whole. BL is Queer Media and not inherently worse or better than other queer media, especially the kind that don't focus on romance. Anyways, a small tangent.
This show is great and well worth a watch. I don't know if I'll ever watch it again personally because it just left me feeling so raw and too seen. 
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befuddledcinnamonroll · 1 month ago
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QL Things That Made Me Happy in 2024
It's the end of the year, and people are doing a lot of cute things with superlatives and such, but with my limited bandwidth, I'm gonna keep it simple. Those who follow me know I am here to have a good time, and I like to focus on what brings me joy. 2025 is going to be a rough one, and I know I'm going to continue to need the QL space to help me emotionally cope, so if you'll indulge me, I want to just roll around in the good and the happy for a bit.
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(Note, there is also a ton of 2024 content I did not have time to watch, so this does not capture everything good that happened this year!)
Diversity of Genre
Every year we're breaking a little bit more new ground! I'm particularly excited to be seeing more mystery/thriller, for both our BLs & GLs. Robots, vampires, animals turned human, and hopefully soon, mermen. We're getting weirder and wilder, and I am here for it.
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Baby Steps in Representation
I know, I know, we all want it to get all better right now, but as someone in my fifth decade of life, I've also seen how small step after small step over the years can lead to huge changes. And in a world where a lot of people are trying to drag us backwards, it's important to keep pushing forward, and celebrate each successful step, even when it feels like it's not enough. (And keep advocating for more, of course!)
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Continuing to Give Friendship Its Due
Amazing friend groups are fortunately a QL staple, and this year was no different. We got so much good friend representation this year!
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Japan Being Japan
The very top at efficient story-telling, whether it be hitting your heart or tearing it apart.
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Taiwan Being Taiwan
Never change Taiwan. Just keep feeding me, pretty please.
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Acting Highlights
Wow, did we get some incredible performances this year. Way more than I can list here, but here's a few that came immediately to mind.
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Special Mentions
ie stuff that didn't fit under one of the above categories.
A year of TayNew
Step one, be the absolute most in the cutest shit ever. Step two, queer up a found family story. Step three, celebrate owning 2024. (And we get more of them in 2025!)
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Big getting his due
We've been chomping at the bit for a Big Thanakorn lead role for ages, and our man delivered! And we're gonna get more next year!
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A win for creative independence
I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am so fucking proud of Yin and War. They did something incredibly difficult at great personal cost, and made something genuinely unique. Jack & Joker had a lot of layers, including a lot of cultural depth, along with social commentary. That kind of thing is always going to alienate some people, but that's part of what impressed me so much. If they wanted to make something to appeal to the most generic possible audience, they would have done it. They swung big, and made an impact, and I hope it opens up so much more opportunity for them.
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When talent grows exponentially
One of my favorite things about having been into QL for a while now is getting to see actors grow and develop past their initial roles. Often the raw talent is there from the beginning, but as in all careers there is a benefit from experience, the right kind of support, and the right opportunities.
2 Moons 2 was a largely forgettable series that managed to land some unforgettable talent, and both Joong and Pavel were highlights. They've both done so well, but in this particular case, I need to rave about Joong's growth in his performance as Fadel. The entire cast is rocking it in Heart Killers, Dunk is also doing incredible, but I have such a soft spot for the boy I immediately fell for way back in my first year of BL, and seeing him steal scenes from some of my all time favorite GMMTV actors. Well done, bebe, well done.
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In summary
This doesn't remotely encompass everything (I didn't even get to all the delightful spice from this year!), I am limited by time and image restrictions per post, but as always, I am so grateful to have discovered this arena of media and this space in which to squee about it, and I am endlessly grateful for the people in this space who bring positivity, nuance, grace, compassion, caring, open-mindedness, humility, and curiosity to my dash.
Happy New Year, y'all.
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13leaguestories · 1 month ago
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2025 Forecast
Do you hear that along the wind? It's saying "you copied and pasted this from Patreon"
looks back at 2024 Yea, naw. I don't really have much to say about it besides it gave birth to some really good ideas that got me psyched about some stories. But mostly it just felt like a really long mile with covered holes that I kept falling into. If any of you watch Neebs Gaming on YouTube, I was Simon this year. If you know, you know.
Like one of the good things is I realized Superstition needed a rewrite that has me so excited, it also gave birth to All That Comes Before (which more on that below) and that my gosh. Like I don't think I can actually explain to you how well that has helped me understand Roe's character.
Sea of Stars came up and I love that story to death, sue me.
It was not the year for shorter stories and prompts though. Like my brain just pretty much died with anything on a smaller level and I hate that. I don't know why! That's the worse part. I don't know why. It also failed on the NSFW parts. That part needs to change pronto but writing them just became ... meh.
But I'll try to stay positive. So this forecast will be a mix of what to expect in January as well as what I hope to accomplish for the year.
Superstition
January: I'm nearly done with AtCB. There's one story left for me to write and that is sitting at 60% and I'll be working on today and tomorrow in hopes of finishing it.
So, I'll repeat this again on the itch.io page as well as maybe somewhere on Tumblr. This add-on will cost $3 and each edition will just add more backstory to what already exists. For example, one of the stories is about Roe's mother's funeral. These stories will also include variables that can be be moved over and will further shape Roe & Company personality. Another example of one of the variables introduced is $fear_romance. This variable gives Roe a clingy, jealous, fear of being cheat on, never having a relationship, or nothing. This will obviously work with the characters with Zillah liking clingy but not so much Sydero.
So, with all that said. IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO GET. If you 1. just don't want to buy it or 2. know that the device you use hates exporting/importing then don't get it. It's not needed and is more so something you got cos you just want to read it and "hey, look, you get to bring over some cool variables too!"
Alright, moving on.
Yearly: I really don't know what to expect for yearly besides maybe saying I'll get all of S1 rewritten, out and ready. And will be deep into working on S2 and S2's AtCB. I feel like that can easily be reached. But saying "oh yea, S3 will be finished" when I have the other stories to do as well, yea. Can't just spout that lie.
Throne of Ashes
January: So I said that I had some news on Nour. I won't get too deep into it as I think I've said a lot about why Nour is weird for me. Long story short: I wrote Nour with the same build as I did Ruben whereas every other story ended up changing to be something totally different. Nour didn't go through that and so their story always felt like it was over much faster and wasn't hitting right in the end. Well, guess what! I found out what to do. No, I don't have an ETA.
Yearly: Obviously wanting Nour to come out. I'm aiming for Q1 and if I dedicate the early months to them then that should be easy. After that, the next character will be Ozara. No. She will not be done in 2025. (I say that so maybe my brain proves me wrong, it won't).
Sea of Stars
Obviously won't be out this year but man do I really want to put a big dent in it. Like this story gets me so excited. Look, forgive me but this story gets me so pumped to do.
Riders of Abauruth
I want to do at least something with it here. Probably after I finish Nour's route, I'll slot RoA in for a bit of fun. I miss the dragons. I tried to do a bit of it in November but it was obviously going to take all of my attention and not the "spare a day" attention I was giving it because I have to iron out some plots, brainstorm, reread the old one, etc. But I'm hyped for this.
So, uh. Here's to 2025. A year that I'm not looking forward to at all if I must be honest.
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chameleon66 · 1 month ago
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Her Funny Bunny
Author’s note: I haven’t uploaded a fic in a while (Because who thought depression and high school was a good combination). I just really haven’t found the spark in a while but I just really want to write something for Jax as he’s a very controversial character in the TADC fandom and I think he could be a real sweetie. I’m doing much better now and I hope to upload more in 2025 (But no promises) . I hope you enjoy this fic I wrote and have a good day/night.
Warnings: Cheer up tickles, teasing, angst, mean jokes (Let me know if I need to add anything)
Word count: 2907
It was quiet at the moment, which was pretty abnormal for the life of a cast member in The Amazing Digital Circus, but the only reason it was quiet was because the adventure hadn’t started yet. Right then the gang were all hanging out in the main area playing charades.
You know, just trying to enjoy a bit of normalcy before Caine comes to take them to that day's adventure. It was Ragatha’s turn while Zooble, Gangle, Pomni, and Kinger had to guess, they had all taken note of Jax’s absence but didn’t bring it up as no one saw it as something worrying or they didn’t want to bring it up for fear of bringing down the mood (cough, Ragatha, cough)
At the moment Ragatha was standing up waving in a highly sophisticated manner then grabbing the skirt of her dress and curtsying down. While the others tried to guess who she was.
“Some kind of queen?” Gangle thought out loud.
“Or princess?” Pomni added.
“An insect collection.” Kinger guessed for the 57th time.
Ragatha then blew a kiss out to them and said “The brave knights have arrived!”
A look of realization came across Pomni’s face and she said “Princess Loo!”
Ragatha stopped mid motion and nodded at Pomni who immediately cheered for herself.
“Great job Pomni.” Ragatha praised it, it was nice seeing everyone being so happy and casual. “Okay, Zooble, your go.”
Zoble groaned but regardless stood and went to the middle of the circle they had formed, they stood for a moment clearly considering who to pretend to be, then as if a lightbulb went off her eyes flashed then the illusion of a smirk came across their features.
Zooble crossed their arms over their chest and began tapping their foot rapidly against the ground with a scowl on their face. Clearly pretending to be mad.
Everyone went into thinking but Ragtha did make a mental note of how it was similar to how Jax would thump his foot against the ground when he was upset.
Then Zooble placed one fist on her hip and let the other fall before she broke out into improvised words, in a tone of voice that felt more alive than her normal tone. “I’m indirectly communicating to you all that I’m unhappy that no one is feeling sad so now I must go forth and cause pain and suffering because it’s the only way to cope with my big scary feelings.”
The others all began laughing though tried to cover their mouths with their hands, it was clear who Zooble was portraying but they were laughing too hard to try and guess.
Happy they got a reaction encouraging Zooble to keep going. “Oh yeah I’ll gladly jump off a building but heaven forbid a ear of corn crosses my path, cause otherwise I’ll hide under the nearest couch and shake as if the corn had threatened to kill me.”
Now everyone was practically dying of laughter while rolling around on the ground. Even Ragtaha was laughing quietly behind her hand.
Ragatha’s non button eye drifted away from the group only for her laugh to go silent and her smile drop as her eyes landed on the tall purple rubber hose cartoon looking rabbit who was partially hidden away by the wall of the other room.
Jax clearly wasn’t trying to hide his reaction though because his foot was thumping softly against the floor, his eyes were big with hurt yet with small square shaped pupils trembling in them and his ears were droopy. Small things one probably would think meant much if they hadn’t been secretly dating Jax for about six months.
A quick side eyed glance back the others told Ragatha they hadn’t become aware of the youngest cast member's presence. But when Ragtha glanced back Jax wasn’t behind the wall anymore instead walking out towards the others with a grin a bit too wide adoring his face.
The others still hadn’t noticed Jax until he was right behind Zooble until Jax spoke up. “Hey looks like something’s got you all in stitches, care to let me in on the joke.”
Everyone was gasping between laughs but Kinger calmed his first and then said. “I honestly don’t remember what we were doing.” Before falling back in hysterical laughter.
Jax only shrugged his shoulders before walking closer to Zooble before stopping just behind them. “Oh well that’s ok. I’ll just create myself something to laugh at.”
He then grabbed both of Zooble’s arms detaching them from their body and throwing them across the floor and through the door that led outside the circus tent.
“Ugh! Jax you f%#king @$$ho/e!” Zooble yelled as they began to make their way back to their missing limbs while Jax laughed at their misery, though it didn’t escape Ragatha how Jax’s laugh stopped and his face became less animatedly happy when Zooble was out of ear’s reach.
The awkward silence wasn’t long though as a grand puff of smoke transported Caine above their heads as he shouted “Good morning my little superstars! Who’s ready for a grand adventure?”
The adventure that day was pretty small, they were taking turns running an obstacle course Caine had made and whoever completed the course in the fastest time would be dubbed the winner.
Each of them went one at a time but it was clear that none of them were really built to be athletes as all of them even failed to complete the course. It could’ve been because they were all not very athletic or because Caine had added fire, razor blades, sharks, bees, and other stuff to make the course more ‘exciting’.
Between each person’s turn they all just stood off and watched them, while waiting for her turn though Ragatha noticed how docile Jax had seemed to become, while he was still making sarcastic comments and jokes at others expense they weren’t as sharp as his normally were.
She also saw how he had distanced himself away from everyone with his face being all glum with his normally ever present smile not there unless he knew somebody was looking at him.
By the time everyone had run the course, Caine declared that no one had won because no one finished so that meant they got no reward. After Caine had reset all of their avatars to rid them of their injuries he sent them off to go and do their own thing for the rest of the night.
Jax and Ragatha went with each other to Ragatha’s room to hang out. They walked in silence which was something else that concerned Ragatha as Jax was never quiet. Had Zooble’s comments really gotten to him that bad?
Ragatha really felt bad for Jax, sure he was a jerk to the others but just like everyone else here he had his whole life taken away from him when he put on that headset and being a jerk was just his way of keeping himself sane.
Ragatha knew she couldn’t let Jax just keep being sad so she decided to employ her best tactic guaranteed to cheer him.
Once they reached her room she opened the door and let Jax walk in first before going in after him. She shut the door behind her and readied herself to set her plan into motion.
“So Dollface, don’t you think it’s not far I didn’t win despite making it furthest on the course.” Jax sat down on her bed with one leg crossed over the other. Target achieved.
“Oh totally Jax.” She famed a sweet tone, then made a soft turn to face Jax. “If that is your real name.”
Jax’s ears and eyes perked up as he looked more directly at her in confusion. “What?’’
Ragatha smirked. “How do I know that this isn’t one of Caine’s tricks and that you’re one of his NPCs pretending to be Jax.”
Jax titled his head and lifted one eyebrow. “You’re taking crazy Doll, I’m not some dumb NPC.”
Ragatha’s smile only grew more mischievous with that comment. Of course she knew it was Jax but there was no he’d accept this without hearing a good reason first.
“You sure?” Ragatha leaned forward til her face was inches from Jax’s. “Cause earlier me and the others were playing charades and Zooble pretended to be you, which made me realize just how easy you are to impersonate.”
Jax’s face flushed a darker purple though he tried to hold the stern look on his face. “I’m not an NPC Rags, I’m Jax, your extremely handsome boyfriend.”
At last, the final part of Ragatha’s improvised plan was set. Now it was up to her.
“Well then you wouldn’t mind if I ran a simple test.”
Jax’s face now read as more curious above all else and seeing no sign that he wasn’t down to clown (As he would say) she wasted no time running then pouncing on top of him. Effectively holding him down with her own weight as Jax might have been the tallest in the circus but due to his thinness he was also very light weight wise.
She then proceeded to grab his sides with her plush doll hands and began to mercilessly squeeze and poke at them.
Jax’s goofy smile went back to his face and his face got blushy as he laughed. Ragatha immediately rejoiced at her small victory so far.
“Hahahahaha how is this hahahahaha helping?” Jax tried to squirm in her hold but her hands persistently remained on his form, attacking his waist with vigor.
“If you are truly my Jaxxy then I’d expect you to be just a precious sweetie while being tickled.” Ragatha explained, though she kept her true motive unsaid.
Through the months of them secretly being together Ragatha had come to see that Jax was a very affectionate guy who more than anything wanted to see her smile. So she had noticed whenever she was down, Jax would take the first opportunity when they were alone to tickle her until she swore to him she felt better.
And after she got him back a few times she had come to see that tickles were just one of Jax’s ways to show love. She had read in a book from the library Caine had for them at the circus that people sometimes project how they want to be shown love and do it to others in hopes they start doing it back.
Though he had never admitted to her, she had seen it in how genuinely happy he seemed after and how he always wanted to remain all snuggled up against her after too. So if there was one way she knew to make Jax feel better, it was tickling him to a pulp.
After Ragatha felt that Jax’s walls were down she spread her hands up to his ribs and began to get at them causing Jax’s laugh to jump up and become super cackly.
“Ragathahahahaha! It’s reheheheheheheheally mEHEHEHEHE.” Jax pleaded through his forever shut teeth.
“Hmmm-.” Ragatha hummed in consideration. “Jax is pretty ticklish on his ribs. But I think I better keep going for a little longer just to be sure.”
“Nohohohohohohoho! Ragdoll! Hahahahahahahaha.” Jax kept trying to squirm away from her hands but whenever he did her other hand would tickle the other side harder causing his body to try and squirm away from the opposite hand.
“You do have a super endearing laugh like Jax.” She observed
“You also have a lovely smile like him, you squint your eyes tighter when I hit a particularly bad spot.” She poked her fingers into the soft spots just below his ribs to prove it, and sure enough Jax’s eye shu tighter hand he let out a squeak with it.
“You also aren’t even trying to get me off you just like Jax..” She continued rattling off small things Jax was doing, keeping them sweet yet teasy which effectively flustered him.
“Wehehehehell Mahahahahahybe I’m Just lehehehehetting you hahahahahave your fun.” Jax retorted, trying to defend his lack of attempts to escape.
“Oh really?” Ragatha questioned, her eyes locking on her next target for tickles. “Since when is my boyfriend known for being a gentleman?”
“I cahahahahahahan behehehe nice whehehehen I wahahannahaha.”
“I’m still not quite sold on you mister.” Ragatha brought herself up and kissed the spot where Jax’s nose would be if he had one, making his laugh go all squeaky with a gentle hum to it.
“I had better do one more test just to be 100%.” Ragatha turned her body around and sat in front of Jax’s feet. Despite her now being off him Jax didn’t make an effort to get away from her despite most likely knowing where she’d be going. Instead just laying there limply trying to catch his breath.
Ragatha gave him a second to breathe before she took both of his feet in her arms and while holding them in her grasp with one hand she used the index finger on the other hand to gently tickle the silly pink heart paw pads he had on his feet.
Jax absolutely lost it. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NOHOHOHOHOHOHO F%#K NOT THEHEHEHEHEHRE!”
His feet had always been one of those spots where you didn’t need a lot of force in your tickles to make him squeal like a tea kettle.
His feet had always been Ragatha's favorite tickle spots too, not only because it got the best reactions from him but also because his feet were just adorable to her. They had the appearance of paws with three toes and paw pads on the bottom of them. but the full anthropomorphic functionality of feet.
She was also happy she had chosen to sit in front of him to hold his feet because now she got a great view of his cute face, which only got cuter when he was being tickled. His eyes scrunched together, his ears flop haphazardly with his head as his body twisted trying to escape the tickly sensations, and his smile would be genuinely sweet and freaking precious.
Unlike the mischievous or fake smiles he’d give everyone else. This smile was only for her eyes.
Ragatha’s hand stopped ticking up and instead opted to gently trace each of his paw pads, starting with the biggest one then moving up to his toes then back down.
“HEHEHEHEHEHEHE! IT TICKLES!” Jax was giggling as the sensation was now a bit too soft to provoke his loud boisterous laughter from him.
“My Funny Bunny boy does have very ticklish feet, doesn’t he?” Ragatha’s tone now was softer along with her tickles.
“YEHEHEHEHEHESS HE DOHOHOHOHOES.” Jax agreed with her.
“Cute soft paws, squishy sides and ribs, yep that solves it.” Ragatha released Jax’s feet and she watches as he curled up while still giggling.
“I guess that checks out, you must be the real Jax.” Ragatha sat and watched Jax as he slowly stopped laughing and sat up to face her.
“Well I could have told you that.” He remarked with a playful eye roll.
Ragatha chuckled, “Yeah, sure you could.”
Jac then dramatically flopped back down on her bed, his head landing on one of the pillows near the headboard. “Come now Dollface, join the Funny Bunny Boy. You know you wanna.”
Ragatha fought to hold back her giggle at her boyfriend's silly antics but she was already moving towards him as she said back. “Alright I’m coming Jax.”
“Awww… No sweet nicknames.” Jax pouted.
Ragatha rolled her eyes as she settled on top of Jax and laid her head down on his chest while placing a kiss just under his chin. “Don’t worry Jax, you’ll always be my sweet little bunny.”
Her hands went in different directions as one went to his free hand to rest in while the other went up one of his ears to begin petting and rubbing it.
Jax sighed as he sank deeper into her bed letting himself enjoy the feeling of his ears being pet and the pressure of his Ragdoll over top of him.
Ragatha smiled, her plan had been a massive success, her boyfriend was now happy, relaxed, and his mind had been taken off the other’s hurtful words.
Cause no matter how hard Jax denied it he was still a human who put up a false image of himself, this cruel, mean, unshakable guy, just because that’s how he protected himself from the fear of being forever trapped in a video game and never being able to free. As much as Gangle and Ragatha pretended and wore a mask, Jax did too though his was far better concealed.
“I love you Jaxxy.” Ragatha whispered only to realize that Jax had fallen asleep. With a sigh she pulled her quilt over them both and let rest come to her as she laid in her boyfriend’s arms.
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