#but positive

[dajo42]

oh look at that its the 20th of january 2024 in the UK now. that means i am exactly ten years self harm free. thats

Extremely Hype

Lets Party About It

a whole decade babie.... lets GO

[cervianthr0py]

help im stuck in one of your traps

[kaitosduckmania]

Oh wow it's the 7th year of the Ducktales reboot

(if you don't like to hear my personal feelings and thoughts on this, this is a positive vent post so maybe move along, its not that important xd)

I don't have alot of special things to do on this event like most people in tumblr I know, but I can at least provide some special words.

I've went into this show for the first time months ago, completely enamored with everything just as usual with any TVA shows I watch. Check some fancontent, check some art, enjoy some videos on the subject. Holy fuck I didn't expect to make this show my whole entire personality. And how many moments just hit the hardest than any other show. I think what furthered it was how desperate I was to talk about this show to anyone, no one watched it around my circles, it felt like a special niche that I like that I had to keep hidden away from people except my brother, who watched along with me and whatnot. The moment I've found right communities that showed so much love for both the show and the countless materials related with the show gives me something to constantly learn, to give me something new, and the interactions and attention I've been given for being this passionate about a cartoon reboot of an 80s show I originally never cared about. and probably still would never get into no matter how hard I try, sorry duck fans T-T What definitely made this show so special to me now is that how this is helping to create and go through new avenues of expression. I post myself drawing stuff, and even wrote fanfics. So many of you guys gave me the support and just... honestly. It was a time that I did need that attention and many of my friends seem to notice my renewed positivity. Something to compare it to would not be a Ducktales example, but from a different DTVA show, The Owl House. I had a renewed Luz Noceda moment when she read The Good Witch Azura and she suddenly had something to cope from the loss of her father.

I'm not grieving but I am depressed and constantly face insecurities and vulnerabilities in my mental state that I couldn't stop. I have the feeling that the show kinda... saved me in a way, I felt like I changed, had a renewed passion to create, and have a medium to express myself with the form of Disney created ducks and all that.

I find myself to think that I'm way too annoying about it to my other friends, but what can I say it's just something that's given me another life again. (The first time being a nerd for music) Thanks to the show, I'm sure I could do something for next year... or even better if it hits the decade mark :3 (God i'll be graduating college by then.)

[ghcstcd]

hey y'all, you wanna know something incredible I just realized? with the help from my patrons, I can afford Betterhelp next month. Which may not be the BEST resource out there, but it's something compared to the nothing I have right now.

What I mean to say is, thank you. Thank you so fucking much.

[clotoure]

Sometimes you just melt in a puddle over the kindness of people

Love and kindness is so special

[no-interest-rightnow]

YOUR ART IS SOOOO GOOD. I SEE IT ON SARDONICS BLOG ALL THE TIME AND ITS SO AMAZING I WANT TO CHOMP IT ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

UH AH AH HA IHHHIH AHAH AH AHHH AH UH HUHUHUH AHA HA thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Idk who you are but I will find you and I will kneel over and die in front of you

[andimoon]

Unknown Thoughts (Part 1)

Genre: Angst / Fluff / Romance / Eventual Smut

Warnings: Angst and mild depictions of depression.

Word count: 1.9k

Prologue

Through the darkness Ginger heard a muffled voice, was it a woman? Her head was hazy, the sharp sting of a migraine taunted her as the voice grew louder, “Ise… Eloise!” that name sounded so familiar but the headache stopped any thought in its tracks, “Eloise!” Was this woman calling her? But her name wasn’t Eloise. Was she still alive? With a gasp Ginger sat up, a woman with long brown hair sat in front of her on a large bed. Her green eyes fixed on Ginger with worry, “You’re awake, thank the gods. Are you alright? Wait, let me get the doctor.”

She was awake? Not only that, she was in such a nice place. “Am I dead?” Her voice came out in a small shutter and Ginger took note of how different she sounded. Had she been hurt that badly? Finally daring to get a good look around as the unknown woman ran to talk to someone beyond the chamber’s door. The furniture looked like that in a historical drama she’d seen on tv. Nothing modern but still beautiful. Her clothes stuck to her skin in an uncomfortable sweat and her heart raced, her head ached. “What happened? Did I get run over?” She must be in some kind of hospital.

 When the relieved green eyes met Ginger’s gaze once more Ginger felt nauseating fear fill her body, her fingers trembling as she drew her knees close to her chest. What if this woman was responsible for almost killing her? “Who are you? Where am I?” The woman faltered at her questions and what looked like sadness filled her gaze. She opened her mouth to speak when the doctor ran into the room and straight to Ginger, checking up on her condition.

She called me Eloise.. Why does that name sound so familiar?

Wait, isn’t that the name of the main character in Rise of Bliss?

That confirmation came when the doctor was speaking with the woman at the door after finishing his inspection, the woman he addressed as Lady Ruell. Vivian Ruell, the fiancee of the male lead in Rise of Bliss. Eloise’s love rival and the villain of the story. Eloise was Vivian’s maid and the Lady was understandably upset by Eloise’s advancements on her fiance. Ginger always agreed with Vivian’s actions in the book even if they were against the protagonists. She lost everything to her maid, anyone would be upset. When they were left alone again, Vivian turned her attention back to Ginger who visibly flinched on the bed, the softest smile on the brunette's lips, “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

The book always described Vivian as a harsh woman with a short temper, but it said briefly that Vivian and Eloise had once been close, as the maid was the person Vivian trusted most in the world. Her best friend. Not only that, Vivian gave up some of her lifetime for Eloise to live past her own. Which made her betrayal all the worse. Ginger saw Vivan with admiration, but with her reputation, this moment left Ginger with fear and queasiness. How far were they in the book? Was this that moment? Was Eloise supposed to die? Is that why Ginger was here? As a second chance? “Eloise,” the woman spoke softly and eased back onto the soft mattress next to Ginger, “Do you remember me? My name is Vivian Ruell.” 

Should she play along? Would Vivian kill her if she told her the truth? That her best friend was gone and a stranger took her place. She was never a good actress, not to mention she couldn’t imagine living as someone else. She might not have had the strongest self-esteem, but the risk of losing herself to a fictional character.. ‘Would that really be that bad? Living as someone else. Someone better, who will accomplish a lot. Someone stronger.’

Her chest ached at the thought, but was unable to find a reason against it. She had the chance to be the main character she always wanted to be. At the cost of who she truly was, but she was no one anyway.

“I,” her voice sounded so small, Ginger found herself wanting to cry, “I remember you.” Emerald eyes so warm and glistening with tears as the woman pulled Ginger into a hug.

“I’m so glad,” She held Ginger so tightly. The same way her sister used to hold her when she was afraid. The thought broke her heart and she couldn’t stop the weeps as they came flooding out. Mourning her life, her family and friends. Herself.

Resenting whatever cruel entity had done this to her, Ginger cried for days. She tried to resume Eloise’s daily tasks, she tried to care for Vivian as she was supposed to, but the Lady reminded her so much of her sister every single day. She missed her. She missed her parents. Her barista. “Eloise?” The brunette’s gentle voice drew Ginger out of her thoughts. Locks of brown hair halfway combed through a brush. She had stopped working, a recurring problem she had as Ginger struggled to keep up with Eloise’s occupation throughout the last week.

“Yes? M-My lady?”

“What did you say?” Vivian instantly turned around to face Ginger, confused and.. Angry? “Why would you call me that?” Had she offended her in some way? She took a step back, chest tightening at the aggressive tone Vivian took. She knew. She knew Ginger was a fraud. Would she hurt her? With a small sigh and a retreat back into her seat, Vivian’s voice softened, “I’m sorry… Just... After all we’ve been through, please call me Vivian.”

“... I’m sorry… Vivian.” 

Another soft sigh and the Lady gazed at her maid through the vanity mirror, “How have you been holding up since the Transfering? If you need to rest, you know you have a comfortable place to do so.” The noble woman’s offer had been placed multiple times before, but sitting alone in a large room with nothing but her thoughts and her memories. It was a recipe for disaster. 

The Transfering she spoke of was a type of procedure available in this world. Every person is born with a number embedded in their skin, the number of the age they will pass away at. Eloise had been born with a simple ‘19’ while Vivian had been given ‘96.’ After growing up together and being so close, Vivian had given up some of her long life for Eloise to live for another 30 years. A decision she comes to regret by the end of Rise of Bliss. 

“Thank you, my–” her gaze hardened in the mirror and Ginger swallowed down the last of the title in fear, “Vivian. But I prefer having something to do.” The protagonist’s voice was often so much softer than Ginger’s voice used to be, even for someone as shy as her. This world was so quiet, so cold and looming. The only semblance of warmth came from Vivian when Ginger was on her good side. Silence filled the room as Ginger continued brushing the Lady’s hair.

“If that’s the case, I want you to come with me today, Eloise.”

The morning passed so quickly and before she realized what had happened, Ginger was sitting beside a dolled up Vivian in a carriage on their way to god knows where. To her own surprise, despite being a maid, Eloise didn’t need to work as hard as the other staff. Maybe it was because she was supposed to be recovering or maybe it was a benefit of being Vivian’s best friend. Regardless, Ginger appreciated the leeway and was able to get a good look at this world for the first time since she arrived, and it was breathtaking.

 A world yet unknown to pollutants and humanity’s cruelty. So green and so alive. The view had a way of calming every thought running in Ginger’s mind, it reminded her so much of her hometown. She now regretted not visiting when she could. “It’s beautiful. It’s been so long since I went to the countryside.” 

“What do you mean? We came here less than a month ago, Eloise,” Her voice lowered just above a whisper, “Are you still having laps in memory since the Transfering?” It was an excuse Ginger used to get away with not having any of Eloise’s memories, but enough knowledge about this world she got thrust into. Or at least what this world would become in the future. She couldn’t bring herself to lie to Vivian so she simply nodded. “Do you know where we’re going?” another small headshake and the noble sighed softly, “We’re going to see Duke Do. He’s an old friend of mine.” 

The Duke. He was the childhood companion of Lady Ruell and Prince Byun, a big brother figure for Vivian and the only character in the book to take her side as the villain. He was described to be stone faced and bitterly straightforward, but other than that Ginger knew very little about him. Her insides burned and her stomach churned as they neared the castle-like estate, rows of staff stood bowing and waiting like mannequins at the entrance. It could hardly be called a house as they were escorted through the halls into a nearby drawing room, nothing but few paintings decorated the elevated walls and their footsteps echoed loudly on the marble floors. She felt so small and insignificant in that manner. Ginger definitely didn’t belong there, but she did her best to hide her unease. Any action she made or didn’t make would reflect on Vivian.

“Your Grace, Lady Ruell is here to see you.”

“Let her in.” His voice was deep and rich. Even muffled by the giant doors, it gave Ginger a sense of familiarity and she lowered her eyes to the ground as she followed Vivian into the room, too afraid to look as they entered. Their greetings were formal yet, it felt different from everything else Ginger had experienced. There was a sense of comfort as the noblewoman took a seat across from the duke. “Miss Eloise. It’s so nice to see you’re doing well.” His voice was prominent and her name sounded lovely coming from his lips. With the urge to finally look at his face came a wave of something she couldn’t describe, as she locked with those familiar brown eyes and the softest smile on his lips. He looked exactly like her sweet barista, so calm and confident and gentle.

The wonderful image was quickly destroyed as her last memories of his face haunted her vision. The fear on his face as he held her in his arms during her final moments. Ginger couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, and the room fell silent. Unable to stop the tears as they ran down her face or the quiet sobs that left her lips and she rushed to cover her face. Lady Vivian quickly rushed to her side, holding her, “Eloise? Are you alright?”

This was a cruel joke her mind was playing on her. There was no way he could be there with her. It was her subconscious dying to see him one last time. That had to be it. She needed to get a hold of herself. Vivian held her as Ginger rushed to get ahold of herself. He wasn’t who she thought he was. He was fake, a character in a book. 

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@makemedoitlikedis @kawaii--mommy @soobadnoonecanstopher @colognedecigarette @doitsosweet @shewantsmeshesgotme @ira-itzel @nadiecomonadia @mgg-81 @scentlacigarette

[greetings-inferiors]

My favourite part of tumblr is when a group of mutuals all have multiple different conversations on the same master post, just constantly reblogging each other lmao

it's like a conversation with 5 people but you can only talk to one at a time

[that-wizard-oki]

I CANT BELIEVE I JUST DID THAT

[imitorar]

Now that's what I call a Memento Mori.

[talisidekick]

A while back my pharmacist saw my deadname on my profile and accidentially called it out, he corrected and deleted my deadname from the system so only my preferred name shows up now. There was a crowd of people behind me, so as he hands over the pills he apologized, in equal tone and volume as when he called my deadname and lied saying it's been a long day and he didn't mean to call out -his own- name. I quietly told him it was fine and he didn't need to do that for my sake.

His response: "No, it's my name now."

I went to the pharmacist yesterday, his nametag is my deadname. He informed me he's immigrating and in the process he's changed his first name to my deadname to have an English sounding name. That's why he's now able to get a reprint of his nametag to be my deadname. And repeated, with the intense seriousness of someone who is going to die on this hill: "It's mine now. Not yours. I'm taking." His tone indicated that decision is final.

Bro literally deadnamed me once, and has committed to flat out stealing my deadname. It's his now. Legally. Officially. I over heard his co-workers call him by the name.

[dajo42]

9 years self harm free today btw

lets Go

[artistformerlyknownasbutttrumpet]

no i don't want to use your ai assistant. no i don't want your ai search results. no i don't want your ai summary of reviews. no i don't want your ai feature in my social media search bar (???). no i don't want ai to do my work for me in adobe. no i don't want ai to write my paper. no i don't want ai to make my art. no i don't want ai to edit my pictures. no i don't want ai to learn my shopping habits. no i don't want ai to analyze my data. i don't want it i don't want it i don't want it i don't fucking want it i am going to go feral and eat my own teeth stop itttt

[memeuplift]

[lrndvs]

compliments from girls go hard