#its really cringey for me to post all of this

[kaitosduckmania]

Oh wow it's the 7th year of the Ducktales reboot

(if you don't like to hear my personal feelings and thoughts on this, this is a positive vent post so maybe move along, its not that important xd)

I don't have alot of special things to do on this event like most people in tumblr I know, but I can at least provide some special words.

I've went into this show for the first time months ago, completely enamored with everything just as usual with any TVA shows I watch. Check some fancontent, check some art, enjoy some videos on the subject. Holy fuck I didn't expect to make this show my whole entire personality. And how many moments just hit the hardest than any other show. I think what furthered it was how desperate I was to talk about this show to anyone, no one watched it around my circles, it felt like a special niche that I like that I had to keep hidden away from people except my brother, who watched along with me and whatnot. The moment I've found right communities that showed so much love for both the show and the countless materials related with the show gives me something to constantly learn, to give me something new, and the interactions and attention I've been given for being this passionate about a cartoon reboot of an 80s show I originally never cared about. and probably still would never get into no matter how hard I try, sorry duck fans T-T What definitely made this show so special to me now is that how this is helping to create and go through new avenues of expression. I post myself drawing stuff, and even wrote fanfics. So many of you guys gave me the support and just... honestly. It was a time that I did need that attention and many of my friends seem to notice my renewed positivity. Something to compare it to would not be a Ducktales example, but from a different DTVA show, The Owl House. I had a renewed Luz Noceda moment when she read The Good Witch Azura and she suddenly had something to cope from the loss of her father.

I'm not grieving but I am depressed and constantly face insecurities and vulnerabilities in my mental state that I couldn't stop. I have the feeling that the show kinda... saved me in a way, I felt like I changed, had a renewed passion to create, and have a medium to express myself with the form of Disney created ducks and all that.

I find myself to think that I'm way too annoying about it to my other friends, but what can I say it's just something that's given me another life again. (The first time being a nerd for music) Thanks to the show, I'm sure I could do something for next year... or even better if it hits the decade mark :3 (God i'll be graduating college by then.)

[waybrightgender]

google how to get someone to stop reading about crypto and using degenerate

[astrow1zar6]

Astro Observations- 26

Pluto in 5th housers I notice are not into sleeping around. They usually save that for relationships or marriage. They can be very extreme with it though and can become very judgmental of others who do choose to sleep around.

Scorpio risings are actually really funny and theatrical when you get to know them. They actually love entertaining people and making them laugh (Leo Mc)

Aqua Venus’s hate when you make it too obvious you like them. Acting too obsessed too early can be really cringey to them.

Taurus suns can be big narcissists. When underdeveloped they will pinpoint weaknesses and insecurities in other’s personalities or looks to make themselves look more superior. They hate when others have more or better qualities than them (especially $$ and looks) they can be big bullies.

I know a lot of Scorpio moons that refuse to ever touch substances. Like they’re usually really against experimenting with that kinda stuff. (They usually stick to drinking)

Pisces rising all look so droopy idk how to explain it

Leo/ cancer moons are usually the youngest sibling or the baby in the family or they usually get spoiled/ babies the most by parents compared to other siblings.

Libra risings not everyone is in love with you give me a break

All Aries sun women look like this or give off her vibes tell me im lying ⬇️

Sag in the 12th housers are actually hilarious. Learn to say those jokes you say quietly under your breath loudly and confidently they’re usually so funny, most can have a habit of saying something really funny under their breath and someone hears it and says it loudly instead and everyone starts dying laughing like it wasn’t your joke. They can be very insecure about their goofy quirky sides of them, usually somewhere in their past that side of them was seen as “unacceptable” to their peers so they closed that side up with a very serious dulled down exterior. Don’t let people’s words get to you!

Do Aries moon men exist??? Like I’ve never met one a day in my life or ever really read about them is astrology post. It’s usually only the women I hear about but never really the men? If anyone has experience with Aries moon men lmk in the comments

Also another placement no one talks about is Mars in Aries, it’s supposed to be in its domicile yet I hear very little ppl ever talk about this placement. I have this and I never really hear much other then having anger issues and annoying textbook definitions.

The ex the hurt me the worst in the relationships big six was a Pisces Rising, Pisces Sun, Scorpio moon, Merc & Venus in Aries and a Scorpio mars.. I barely made that out with my sanity🫠

Uranus & Jupiter in the 1st house are always so TALL, even if they aren’t tall they seem tall??? They just have tall energy.

If their are any Astro placements you want to to talk about in my next post lmk! I love talking about new ones people normally don’t talk about. I think all the popularized placements gets really boring to talk about cuz you see it everywhere so if there are any placements you want me to talk about that you never really see or read about lmk in the comments🥰

[factual-fantasy]

30 Asks! Thank you!! :}} 🌊

😅Ah, well this is awkward-

I haven't drawn Gravity Falls in quite a while. And with this sudden fandom resurgence following the book of Bill.. I actually went back and privated a huge chunk of my Gravity falls posts. :x

My reasoning for this is that looking back, a lot of those old posts are rather embarrassing for me 💀 now I respected them all as stepping stones to where my blog is now so I didn't actually DELETE any posts!! But now with the fandom coming back people are finding them aaaannddd.. when ever I get a notification of someone liking an old cringey Gravity Falls post of mine? I just go beet red. uhhg they're sooooo embrassingggg...

SO! For my own comfort, I privated lot of those embarrassing posts. I didn't delete them in case I change my mind and want them back in the future- but they should all be hidden.

Now that that's explained, the comic you're talking about is likely one that I privated parts of out of embarrassment. But if you happen to have a link to one of the parts or can remember the what the comic was about... mayyyybe I could go back and un-pivate it.? <XD But just that comic! It depends on how beet red I turn when I see it-- :x

I've heard of cult of the lamb, seen a lot of fanart for it- and several of my friends play it!... But I still don't know much about it <XD Isn't it like a cult simulator or something..? Idk-- the cult imagery just didn't really feel like my thing 😅

XDDD THANKY IU SO MUCH!! :)))))

@i-v-y67 (Hiding the image because its not my art! <:D )

Sorry man, <XD Maybe someday I will! But for now I got Welcome home, FNAF and Pokémon on the mind 💀

DUDE I LOOOOOVE THE AMAZING WORLD OF GUMBALL!! That show has absolutely no right to be that funny XDDD

XDD Aw, thank you! Truly the highest compliment my version of Wally could receive. 😌

Idk how Bibi's name is actually supposed to be pronounced.. but I personally pronounce it as "bee-bee" <XD

And for his little sister Cici, its the same. "see-see"

While I'm at it, Gerald's name is pronounced "erald". The G is silent XDD

Aw man.. Ingo couldn't cope.. 😔😔

No that's not me saying that Emmet loved Ingo less or was emotionally stronger than him- but Emmet sees Ingo as his strong and capable older brother. With some comfort from Elesa, he believed at his core that Ingo could handle what ever he was facing out there.. although his body was wracked with worry..

If the roles were reversed.. I mean.. man..

Ingo sees Emmet as his precious baby brother. Despite them being only minutes apart in age. He knows logically that Emmet is just as strong and capable as he is.. but just imaging his baby brother out there.. wounded and all alone.. he should have been there. he should have done more. He's all alone. What if he never sees him again? What if he dies alone out there?

The separation would quite possibly destroy Ingo..

@anikakitty11

Boop!! :DDD

@cat7890

I'm feeling pretty rough, but doing my best to rest! <:D and thank you!! :)))

@katjustvibinglmao

XDD EGGDOG!!

I don't have many clear ideas for Home yet.. I'm thinking that its pretty sentient. Home can problem solve, make assumptions and learn..

What does it think of everything... I'm not quite sure. I imagine Home to be curious though, and that's why it watches Wally sleep and why it watched Eddie at the Christmas party..

I also pictured Home to have been in an almost coma/zombie like state back when it was dilapidated.. but then I wonder if Poppy would still be spooked by it.. hmm..

It couldn't have been comfortable in that state at least. So when Wally fixed it up, maybe Home was grateful? Or maybe Home is just kind'a coming to and doesn't know how to feel about the neighborhood springing up around it.. overall I kind'a want to keep these general malicious undertones to Home... 👀

Yeah, I didn't have them crushing on each other because I don't like writing romance stuff for characters that are not my own.. <XD

But this doesn't mean that Eddie and Frank cant have a strong platonic bond in my au! :0 One thing I imagined for their friendship is how they met/how it started.

I had this picture in my head that Frank used to butt-heads with the other neighbors a lot more than he does now. Frank had a certain way of talking and expressing himself that some of the other neighbors didn't really understand.. and since Frank can be irritable at times.. well.. I guess the best way to put it is that Frank had a hard time making friends at first..

I imagined that on a particularly bad day, where nothing seemed to be going his way.. Frank was huffing and puffing and just grumbling to himself.. attending to some chores around the house and just overall feeling down. At some point, he realized the package he ordered should be here any second now.. so he stepped outside to check the mail.

When he went outside, whaddya know! The new mailman was here right on time and putting his package in the mailbox. Well FINALLY something went right for him! That's a nice change..

I imagined Frank went out in a huff to grab the mail, not intending to chat.. but 10 minutes later and he was still stood outside talking to the new mailman.

I thought that when Frank spoke to Eddie, Eddie listened intently and waited patiently for his turn to talk without interrupting. When Eddie talked to Frank, he basically asked all the perfect questions in the perfect tone to get Frank to simmer down.

Eddie told him how beautiful his garden looked, and with his tone and bright smile, you could tell he meant it! Well that's a nice thing to say..

Frank asked how he feels about the neighborhood. And Eddies responses were relatively quick and to the point. Huh.. its nice to have no filler in this conversation considering how grumpy he was today..

Eddie makes a comment about Franks nice clothes, Frank chuckles and comments that his grumpy expression probably doesn't make them look any nicer.. Eddie is a little taken aback, "I didn't think you looked grumpy.. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down today neighbor.." Huh.. someone who doesn't just see his frown and assume he's a grump. That's a really nice change..

By the end of their conversation, Franks day had been completely flipped on its head. He had a nice chat with the new neighbor and got his mail right on time. Eddie was respectful, interested in what Frank had to say, and had plenty of genuine compliments to spare.

Since that excellent first impression on Eddie's part, their friendship would grow and grow into what it is today. Not a romantic relationship, but definitely a best friend situation for sure. :)

@viennaarttt

A phone call? :0 Is this one I talked about happening in my at some point and forgot or was this something that happened in canon? <:0 Forgive my poor memory- today is not my day! 😅😅

WAAAAGGHH WAAAA THIS IS SO SWEETTJJA WAHAGHAGGG CANONCANONCANONCANON!!! 😭😭🥺😭💞💞💞💞

@glitchhayden418

AWWWEE!! the little babeee.... 🥺🥺💞💞💞💞

(In response to this post)

Thank you! These past few days have been pretty rough but I'm hangin in there! <:D ...

ALSDO WAAAARRHRHHHAAAA!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! THATS SO SWEEETTT RAAAHGGAA!!! 😭😭🥺💞🥺💞💞💞💞

Man I really gotta work on the story/personalities for Julies siblings <XD These ideas for them are just wonderful! Him meeting Julies brother/sisters sounds like a fun drawing idea!

B-But.. with no return address... how am I supposed to send a thank you..? <:'(((

@holly-opal

It is one of my all time favorite shows.. 🥺🥺💞💞💞 I love it to bits. Stanley is my favorite character.. I watched it like twice and I would have watched it a third time but I couldn't watch it without crying so I had to quit <XDD 100/10 would recommend Gravity Falls.💞💞

(Jangles birthday post)

Ahh don't worry, his birthday was actually on the 6th. I was late too! <XD

Also thank you! I'm glad you like the details I added! :)))))

😔😔😔Man, it never ends. Thanks for letting me know though..

I kind'a pictured it being similar to Sans and Papyrus. Well, if Papyrus loved puns that is- XDDD

Their personalities are kind'a opposite. Barnaby is relaxed, laid back and always cracking jokes. Howdy is always on the move (in the warmer months). Always darting from shelf, gotta stock stock stock! Gotta go go go! Got so many things to do!

Barnaby usually hangs out in the shop and chats with Howdy. They like to talk about life, their opinions on different topics. And of course exchange jokes back and fourth XDD

I imagine their friendship is strong enough that they've opened up about some darker things. About their pasts and what not..

Sorry if this wasn't super descriptive and/or didn't answer your question 😅 brain is not braining today!

She's thought about telling someone else. The people she would trust the most would probably be Wally, Barnaby, Poppy and Sally.

Though she's afraid if she shows Wally, he'll be afraid of her. Just like all the other humans were...

She thought about telling Barnaby because he's so laid back and easy going.. perhaps he'd accept her for who she is.. but Barnaby really values honesty.. maybe he'd be upset that she lied to him about who she really is and wouldn't want to be her friend anymore..

She almost told Poppy, but backed out last second. She doesn't want to scare poor Poppy..

She's considered telling Sally.. and since Sally has a similar story to her.. maybe she'd be really understanding and accept her.. but she wasn't sure. So she never told her..

I'd like to imagine Home does, but Wally either doesn't notice them or thinks they're just normal old house things :0

For example, the first picture in this post shows Home before Wally restored it. The peeling paint was supposed to be like rotting flesh, showing a pale red wood underneath.. bright red wood exists in their world, but its not usually that shade of red...

I thought about there occasionally being a faint blowing sound somewhere in the house. Accompanied by drawn out rise and fall in temperature though all the rooms. Wally would say the windows don't seal that well or the walls have poor insulation.. Other's would say it feels like breathing..

I've considered that when Wally tries to hang a picture, the walls leak some kind of thick fluid. Obviously meant to be blood- but I miiiight not go with that one. Since that would be a big glaring problem that would grab Wally's attention-

KSJLJSJK WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO HOWDY?? XDDD

Also I'm actually pretty thin on ideas for Howdy.. although I DO have these headcannons about Howdy not liking winter/the cold! :0

I imagined that Howdy can't handle the cold at all <XD In the wintertime howdy is constantly cold, hungry and sleepy. This makes him move really slowly and show up late to everything 😔Thankfully he has his good pal Barnaby to lend a hand around the shop. But it just sucks that he's so exhausted in the wintertime and can hardly get anything done..

(In response to this post)

Thank you so much! :DD And ooooo! Yellow and black could work really well! :000

ALSO NOOO DON'T TUMBLE DRY THE CATERPILLAR- XDDDD

@neo-metalscottic (Chandelure post in question)

AAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!! :DDD

And as for Julies sisters/brother, I actually haven't thought about them much.. BUT THIS IDEA IS SOOOO GOOD AND SPOOKY!!! U GOTTA FIND A WAY TO ADD IT TO THE AU!! :DDD

I would like to draw that comic, but its just a huuuuuge project for me to pick up atm <XD

@problematicskeleton

Thank you so much!! :DD Although unfortunately I don't know what image you're talking about.. I don't remember seeing Eddie hurt with Wally carrying him, and I don't have any intentions for Eddie to get seriously hurt! <:0

[drdemonprince]

this will sound like one of those "let men be masculine" level niche internet community brained posts, but i honestly really was embarrassed of how much i like drag for a while. in the circles that i run in, liking drag too much is seen as pretty cringey and for wealthy cis gays. like everybody knows a few cool avante garde local performers that they fuck with who run queer dance parties that are inclusive and the like, but very few people that i know will just go to a drag show at an entertainment or social engagement for their own sake. it's almost seen as a tourist thing, a normie gay thing.

but its one of the few spaces where i can actually recognize a lot of feminine men and nonbinary man-thing-girly-freaks like of the particular type that i am. leather bars are so masc and buff and im often invisible. bear bars are really nice and i do feel welcome there! but people are only feminine in their mannerisms, not presentation very often. the more explicitly gender inclusive trans/queer spaces cater to more of a wlw and adjacent crowd whose relationships to masculinity and femininity are different from mine. circuit gay bars are obviously terrible.

drag is nice. there's guys with weird little haircuts and long earrings who aren't buff and are swishy and dress interestingly but are a little uncomfortable as their regular selves and have to don alternate personas in order to be outgoing. and i even like that it's okay to be bitchy and insulting sometimes in drag world, like sometimes that is just your genuine feedback on the work someone has done and it's not the end of the world. there's lot of open conflict in the drag world that actually works out pretty alright.

it's a local nightlife scene like all the rest, its got its theater kid bullshit and egos and superficiality out the ass and so many people are trying to be famous or make money, but even to this day i forget that i can just be a really weird feminine guy until i'm around some of them and watching them prance about. i worry about how i look or am being read and then even just watching a fucking drag race episode i'll see like 9 different guys who are so fucking androgynous with their weird assymetrical self cut haircuts that they pass less than i do and they're cis men. they have bodies or faces like i do. and in the local scene it's obviously even better because you're looking at real life people. maybe i should be over it by now but im not, i need to see weird little awkward feminine guys with funny outfits playing dress up and crying and fighting with one another because they never got over their last picked in gym class baggage. its meeee i relateee. i even like that its a little toxic! we've got some issues out here, let's joke with them and make a character of them instead of pretending to be nice!!

i tend to be pretty skeptical of "representation matters!" type shit but part of that is probably because i never really feel represented. i know, boo hoo, thin white man doesnt feel depicted on screen, sounds very silly. but then i see kade gottmik on drag race and i swell with emotion and suddenly feel like who i am is POSSIBLE in this world and i realize that even with all my privileges i am starved for representation and that it does benefit you to have it. theres trans guys on screen but thats not close enough to ping that ooh!!! ahh!!! i can love myself!! radar for me. it has to be a very particular kinda person. matt bernstein makes me feel similarly

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

depressing little PSA but - trust me, i get feeling like you hate all your old writing, looking at it and only seeing the flaws, i even understand feeling like its “cringey” no matter how much i eschew cringe culture in general

but someone loves it, okay? even if it IS extremely flawed! someone read it and loved it, and you (we!) as the authors, dont get to tell someone that the joy they found in the story is meaningless or misplaced just because we no longer find the quality up to snuff

all of which is to say the orphaning function is your friend, it loves you, it is there for you! kill the part of you that cringes, etc but if you really truly cannot bear to have your name on something you posted to ao3, orphan it! hell, upload it from another site, backdate, and orphan it immediately!

because when someone does a deep dive of a nostalgia tag to find that one of their fave rereadables has been orphaned instead of smothered with a pillow, they will thank you

sincerely, a deep diver of nostalgia tags

[ctitan98official]

you probably have already realized this

but i dont write or post on here anymore. its been fun but im a different person now and its really cringey looking back on all my stuff. i got made fun of a lot on here and harassed for being trans and just have a lot of bad memories surrounding this page so im out. i will try to respond to the nice messages sent to me but im kinda traumatized being on tumblr honestly. my email is codym2112@gmail.com if you want to reach out to me there. i'd feel more comfortable.

later skaters

[createdbytragedy]

MY GIRLFRIEND (4)

୨୧A/N: Okay, I was suppose to post this first instead of the (3) one because basically, this is the (3) but I got it messed up and accidentally posted that one first so I guess this'll be number (4. )

(lol, this didn't make sense)

୨୧ (3),(2),(1)

୨୧Pairing: Choi Beomgyu X raeder

୨୧Genre: Fluff

"Come on, they would really love you......" Beomgyu said, looking up at you with his adorable eyes. You chuckled, patting his head that rested on your lap.

"You think so?" you asked. He nodded, beaming up at you," I know so. Who in their right mind could not love? you're so pretty and kind and patient. I literally feel so lucky I even met you." his words made you smile, a blush forming on how genuine he sounded.

"Are you bribing me with your compliments?" you teases, brushing away strands of hair from his forehead. God, you loved your boyfriend like this. Bare faced with no make up on, wearing worn out t shirts and looking just a little bit less than perfect. It was a side only you get to see and it somewhat felt privileged knowing that.

"Mmmm, maybe, but no. You really are awesome, (y/n)," he grinned, just staring at your eyes like he sees the universe in it, like he was lost in your consuming beauty. You were too. Watching the way his eyes squint into crescents and the curve of his lips.

"So are you, baby." you placed a kiss on his nose that had him giggling. "Hey, you're distracting me from the conversation!" he playfully pouts, pinching your belly softly as a punishment.

"Why do we need to make it public, baby? Aren't happy with the secret rendezvous?" you playfully remarked. Beomgyu shook his head, lips puckered out slightly in a pout as he played with strands of your hair that fell on his face.

"I just wanna tell the world that you're mine." He whispered. You giggled, placing another kiss on his nose. That instantly lifted his mood, pointing and puckering up his lips for more kisses. You happily gave it to them, smiling and giggling between each other's lips.

"That's it!" he exclaimed, startling you a bit when he abruptly got up from your lap, " I wanna kiss you on live baby. I wanna take you to public places and kiss you IN public because people would be SOOO jealous and I'LL BE LIKE ," HA! LOOK WHAT A CUTE FACE I'M KISSING!!" I wanna take you everywhere. Our concerts, tours, fan meetings-- I wanna spoil you and do cute things together, you know, like, matching fits, making one of those cringey couple videos with you. I wanna show you off to the world and share rides, food, sunsets and drinks. I would place cute lil kisses on your nose and take secret pictures of you. OR we could go to aquariums and one of those dolphin shows you're always on about. I just wanna hold your hand and kiss you beautiful face, you know. Just because I can. " You couldn't help the laugh that escaped your lips by watching the way his face gleamed, ranting about the things he wanted to do with you.

It sounded so pure and it almost made you tear up, watching him wave his hands around, blabbering on and on like he knew there will be a future for you both. Like, he wanted to make a future for you both. It was unreal. The way Beomgyu made you feel so loved and secure.

"But if people don't know about us, we would have to be out in public with those ugly, black sunglasses and face mask and sweaty, smelly caps and have to act like we're spies on a mission," you continued to watch him, unaware of the smile that stretched across as your face as you do so," but if we public our relationship, we could actually enjoy all those things without looking at our back all the freaking time. Great idea, don't you agree?" he grinned proudly and you smiled, ruffling his hair that was already disheveled.

"You're so cute, Gyu. Its hard to say no to you sometimes."

"Does that mean I can post our picture of tonight?" he asks, tone full of joy. You contemplated. The action was precarious and you weren't certain if the outcome would be necessarily positive. +But you knew that Beomgyu would be there for you when things go downhill. He would be there to console you and make things right. So, maybe, it didn't hurt t

"With all that lipstick stain?" you snickered, shades of red painted on his handsome face.

"Hell, yeah, they should know my girlfriend has the best taste in lipstick shade!!"

[ahundredtimesover]

love love love the plm jealousy drabble! can you also write a super needy, subby plm koo 🥹 only if you have the time and energy! Tysm 🫰🏻

This is 5 months late but here it is - my take on "subby" Koo even if I do not know how to write this kind of dynamic. But I tried with CK JK in mind so I hope you like it. There's also lots of fluff and teasing and walking down memory lane and this is me, making up for the past 2 angsty parts. 🙂

Title: Please Love Me Bonus (09) - The Lake House

WC: 16,648

Tags/Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, past illness; CK JK, lots of teasing and fluff; talks of past sexcapdes; explicit sexual content ("subby" JK & OC trying to be a "dom" (??), mutual masturbation, thigh riding, oral (m & f receiving), straddling, fingering, lots of kissing, penetrative sex, creampie??) (18+) I’m obviously unsure of my smut pls forgive me 😅😅

Series Masterlist

“Am I making your heart flutter again, Mrs. Jeon?”

Jungkook smirks as he asks, his body turning towards you when he reaches the stoplight. 

Seated on the driver’s seat with his one hand on the wheel and the other one on yours, you shyly smile, knowing you’ve been caught, even if you weren’t really hiding your obvious attraction for your husband on this specific day. 

He’s got the short sleeves of his plain white shirt rolled up, his arm tattoos looking bright under the summer sun. His hair is curlier than usual as it’s grown longer, and paired with the denim jeans that you asked him to wear, he’s an absolute stunner. 

“You know the answer to that, hun,” you giggle, briefly looking away before he tugs your hand to look at him again.

“I wanna hear you say it, baby,” he urges, his eyebrows wiggling now. 

You know that he’ll take any chance he has to hear you confirm that you’re ogling him, and well, you’ve told yourself that you’ll do that every few times just to see him be a giggly mess. 

“You are, Kook,” you concede. “My heart’s non-threateningly leaping out of my chest right now. You’re so handsome and you’re so happy; it’s my favorite version of you.”

“Ah, I thought post-shower Jungkook is your favorite,” he teases. “But you also said that about post-sex Jungkook, and post-gym Jungkook, and Jungkook with his glasses on, and—”

“Oh stop it,” you laugh, getting flustered at him pointing out just how weak you are for him. He’s not wrong, though. “They’re all my favorites.”

“You can’t have more than one favorite though,” he playfully rolls his eyes. 

“So then what’s your favorite version of me?” You ask, challenging him.

“The present one,” he winks. “Today’s you is my favorite as of today; yesterday’s you was my favorite as of yesterday, and then the day before that was… you get my drift. Each one has been my favorite and it changes everyday.”

“You’re a cheater,” you shake your head. 

“I am a lover, babe. I love every version of you.”

You cover your face as you feel embarrassed for you and him, and you’re glad you’re the only two people who are witnessing your husband be incredibly cheesy, which happens every once in a while. You know he does it to make you laugh but you also know there’s truth to the things he says, no matter how cringey they could be sometimes. He loves you that way, and you like that he does.

“Do you love the version that upsets you, too? And that cries and gets sad when you’re away?” You wonder out loud, knowing that any reference to your recent fight and its aftermath doesn’t hurt you both as much as it used to. 

It was two weeks ago when he took the 4-hour drive from Busan to Seoul to be with you, and you’ve both been more comfortable talking about the things that hurt since then. It’s how you managed to get back to how things were, playfulness included. 

“Of course, babe,” he says, more serious and softer now. “I love you even when I’m angry. And even if it’s hard to see you cry, I love it when I get to hold you again. And then, you know, we have sex and then you talk dirty to me.”

“Kook!” You squeal, feeling your cheeks warm at the reminder. 

You’re rarely ever vulgar during sex, letting Jungkook take the reins in all ways including vocally, but that night, you felt so much desire that you just wanted to push him a little, perhaps make him feel how he makes you feel, and your words did what you wanted them to. He came so hard and you basked in the joy that you could do that to him. Thinking about it now makes you shiver, and you truly can’t wait for the long weekend you’ve been afforded to go out of town and be together, knowing what you’ll be doing most of the time.

“Why are you shy about it?” He chuckles, taking your hand from your face and kissing it. “It was so fucking hot, okay? And since you don’t do it much, it surprises me whenever you do, and that’s just… shit I’m getting hard just thinking about it.”

“Honey, behave,” you laugh, although the thought that he could get turned out at the memory of that night makes you giddy. Perhaps that version of you could show up in the next few days. 

“I will,” he smiles sweetly now. “But you know it doesn’t matter, right? You could just be lying in bed and sounding the way you always do and that’s all I need. It doesn’t take much to make me happy. Just you.”

Your nose scrunches as you try to temper your smile, but it gives him more reasons to tease you.

“Your heart fluttering again?” He wiggles his eyebrows now.

You pout in response and he can’t help but laugh, and the sound of it warms your heart in ways you can’t fully express. You were without it for weeks, as you recall the days following your stint at the hospital, how Jungkook had been cold to you until things blew over, and how he was distant right after because he didn’t know how to handle all his conflicting emotions towards you. Looking back now, your biggest fight since getting married was because of how much love you both have for each other, and that says a lot about how far you’ve come. 

Despite the weeks since then having been tough for Jungkook because of the meetings and project preparations he had to manage, he made sure to go home to you, hug you every night, message when he can’t call, and let you know that he needs you even when he’s just about ready to pull his hair from stress. And you were there, letting him lay on your chest, massaging his head, and kissing him constantly to let him know that you’ll weather the storm with him, no matter how tough things get. 

After getting things going and delegating the tasks for his project, Jungkook got the approval from his father to get two days off, which is why you’re both on the way to Busan, having missed home so much. You’ve both only visited since you got married but never stayed long enough to go around, and like what you both promised each other, you’ll make new memories in the places that hold unpleasant ones. Home felt the same but you’re both different now, and the flirty smile that Jungkook gives you is evidence of that. 

Perhaps it’s his feeling of temporary freedom that makes him look a lot more handsome today; he’s smiling and laughing and teasing, and it’s when his youthfulness shines. Perhaps it’s the way the sun highlights his caramel skin, or the way his curls fall on his shoulders, or maybe it’s the casual look that isn’t his usual sweatshirt and joggers ensemble that’s making him look even more irresistible. Maybe it’s everything, as he bops his head to the sounds of his playlist, his carefree vibe somehow making him glow. 

Maybe you’re just as excited, and so everything he’s done since this morning is probably just preparing you for what’s to come. 

You’d stopped to watch him dress up earlier and commented that he could be a jeans and underwear model, and he’d laughed, saying that in contrast to his younger years, he no longer feels comfortable walking in his boxers around strangers. He had to clarify that he joined some community fashion show during one of his backpacking trips because his companion convinced him and he was a hit; everyone was cheering and then flirting with him afterwards. He’s done with that, he’d said. You’re the only one he wants to see him that way; he’d give you a private show if you wanted, he teased. 

During your stopover at a cafe for breakfast, he was sitting on the chair with his legs spread wide while sipping his coffee, and you allowed yourself just about a minute to imagine climbing on his lap and marking his pretty neck while he moaned your name. 

And this whole drive, he’d been nothing but a tease - combing his hair with his fingers, dragging his tongue along his lips just because, and singing along to love songs while smirking at you. All the while, you’re smiling like a giddy teenager admiring her crush, and Jungkook makes sure to call you out on it. But you don’t mind, really, not when he stops at a shoulder on the road just to kiss the pout off your face and tell you that he becomes such a giddy mess every time he sees you be a mess yourself for him.

“Kook,” you whine against his mouth, wanting it all over you even if you know it’s not the time nor place. “We have to go to our grandparents’. You know they don’t like it when we’re late.”

“They miss us too much to get angry,” he argues, as he presses kisses down your neck. 

“We’re still out on the road and in public,” you counter, panting now as your pleasure increases. “And I don’t want to go into that lunch with messy underwear because that’s what’s about to happen. Please, hun, I—” your moan cuts you off when his fingers press onto your clothed pussy, feeling now the effect he has on you. 

“Hmm, baby,” he groans, suddenly frustrated at not being able to do anything more right now. 

He shouldn’t have teased you like this but he also couldn’t go on another minute not kissing you after you looked at him the way you’ve been all morning. There’s this perpetual desire in your eyes, as if you’re savoring every action that he makes, perhaps coming up with scenarios in your head that he hopes you’d play out once you’re both alone. He suddenly wants to fast forward to tonight for that, knowing it’ll take you until the early hours of the morning to get fully satisfied. 

“We should save all this energy for later, okay?” You say, taking his fingers that felt you up in your mouth, wanting to get back at him but also wanting to excite him; his hardened gaze says you succeeded. “In the meantime, we have to act like the precious, wholesome couple that our grandparents think we are.”

“Hey, we’re wholesome sometimes,” Jungkook laughs, willing himself to pull away from you and continue driving. “But, uh, do you think they’ll ask us about having children again? I don’t really know what to tell them; we can’t really ask them to not be on our business like we can with our parents. I just don’t want you to feel pressured.”

“I know, same here,” you sigh. “But Mother told me that she told them not to bring it up, since I have to focus on getting healthy again after what happened. Hopefully our grandparents won’t hound us about it.”

“If they do, then let’s just be honest.”

“And say what?”

“That we’re living our best lives and we’ve decided to let life surprise us,” Jungkook says. “And that it’ll come. And when it does, it’s gonna be really special because we prepared ourselves for it. Because that’s what we’re doing, right?”

“It is,” you smile, liking how he’s able to talk about having children in a casual manner now, with less of the fear and more of the excitement. 

You may still be just letting things take its course - with some false alarms along the way - but the challenges in between have been helpful in preparing yourselves for eventually starting a family. You know that when it happens, it’s going to be everything you imagined it to be. 

Your grandparents’ estate is not far from the beach. They bought a humble home in this area decades ago and slowly expanded the property by buying the surrounding land, until they were able to build a large main house with smaller living quarters for when their children and grandchildren visit. 

The garden is large and well-designed. You claimed a section of it when you were young. It’s where you had your playhouse set up because playing in it was the only thing you could do; you weren’t allowed to run around like Seokjin and Soyeon were. There was a spot where you laid your mat to play with your dolls; as you grew older, it became the place where you’d read books or paint or draw. The playhouse is still there, a little old and rusty but you imagine your future children playing in there one day. 

There’s a tall tree in the center and you stand underneath. It’s the one that used to shade you when you would watch your siblings play with the Jeons. 

Apparently, it’s also the spot of your first picture with your husband, as you find out from your grandparents. Your grandmother holds an old photo they recovered from one of their albums - you and Jungkook at 2 years old, standing next to each other, with him in a red hooded jacket and you in a yellow sundress. There’s distance in between, but you’re both posing the way little kids do, and you can’t stop gushing over how adorable you both looked.

“Honey, look at us!” You giggle. “Two years before you started disliking me.”

“You mean, 2 years before you rejected me?” He counters, pouting at you. 

You both pose the same way for another photo - Jungkook with a peace sign by his head and you with your close-lipped, sweet smile - and lay the polaroid next to the old picture, over 25 years apart. It’s amazing how things play out, you think to yourself as you gaze at them. Life does surprise you, and realizing it decades later is a different kind of special. 

Jungkook makes you take another photo so he has a copy, and you indulge him, knowing he gets pretty sentimental about these things. He said once that he wishes he had more of your joint childhood to remember and treasure, but much of that only lives in your mind because you’re the one who always paid attention; he was the one who tried not to mind you even if you were right next to him, the jealousy clouding his mind. Which is why whatever piece of your past he finds, he’ll take it, if only to put together the puzzle of your lives back then, and smile because even if he doesn’t remember much of that, he remembers everything about this - your now and everyday.

He goes through other old photo albums of your grandparents, telling his grandparents that he’ll check their stack as well when you both visit on your last day. It’s stories of the yesteryears that fill the air as you finish your meal, and you’re thankful that everyone is immersed in the stories to even bring up your sickness or your future family. 

The sound of Jungkook’s laughter fills your heart once more, and as he pulls you close under that same tree for a kiss, you think that it’s another new memory you’re going to hold dear.

Pulling up to the side of the road, Jungkook turns off the engine and meets you by the railings overlooking a semi-private beach. It’s one of several in town and Jungkook’s favorite. This is where he first learned to surf and he spent much of his time here with Jimin and Taehyung.

He tells you this as you both walk down the steps to get to the shore, reminiscing the days when things were much simpler.

“So that’s why you chose this for your 13th birthday party,” you say, looking around. “It’s gorgeous, Kook.”

“You knew I had it here?” He looks at you curiously, immediately thinking that Junghyun had told you.

“Yeah, I could tell from that big rock,” you say, pointing to it near the shore. “You had photos there and your brother told me how your mom was yelling at you to not jump from it. I… I asked him to show me pictures when he visited me at the hospital. I told him I wanted to see how happy you were.”

“You were recovering from surgery but you were still thinking about me, huh?” Jungkook says, a sigh almost escaping his lips at the thought. 

“You were really excited about it and I was sad I couldn’t go. If I was strong enough, I would have, but I guess you wouldn’t have noticed either way,” you laugh, knowing that Jungkook didn’t pay much attention to you then.

“I was pretty bitter, actually,” he admits. “You were supposed to be family but you didn’t come - that was the thought in my head. Silly, right? And pretty childish.”

“You didn’t know, Kook,” you assure him. “So you were looking for me?”

“Sort of,” he laughs. “I was being petty. I remember not wanting to ask hyung where you were so I never did, but I just chalked it up to you never attending parties anyway, so what would be different about me?”

“Yours was the only party I would actually go to, but I didn’t want to be the boring girl to you who just sat at the table while everyone enjoyed,” you reason. “So I never went to the ones after that. I always wanted to, though. But that doesn’t really matter now, does it?” You turn to him and smile before you wrap his arms around your waist. “I’m literally family and we’re here together. I think this is a nice good memory to make.”

“It is,” he says, kissing your cheek. “I’m glad I took you here with me. Immature 13-year old Jungkook can get over it now. If I told him I’d be marrying you 12 years later, he’d probably cuss me out.”

“You were cursing at 13?!”

“Yeah. Don’t tell my Mother.”

You laugh together as you head back to the car, the late afternoon heat starting to prick at your skin. It’s been a long day but you’re nowhere near done. You take the half-hour drive to your home for the next few days, a place that holds a lot of unpleasant memories for you, which is why you insisted on staying there. 

One of the Jeons’ beach houses would’ve been an easy choice, but when you told him where you wanted to go, he immediately understood. 

With your luggage bags in his hands, Jungkook looks around the graveled pathway and at the cabin in front of him. “So this is the place, huh?”

The place, he repeats in his head - the one where you found refuge in when you wanted to be away from him after he’d hurt you. That fight before your wedding was years ago but sometimes, it still feels like not much time has passed. He gets to see where you spent your days though, and while that may remind you of how hard it was back then, you could at least remember it now as a place where you both spent your weekend together. 

“This is the main house,” you say, ringing the doorbell and greeting the caretaker who welcomes you. You smile at the lake view just across; it calms your senses as it did all those years ago. “They only allow a small percentage of land to be used for residential purposes. When my siblings and I got older, my parents wanted to give us our own spaces, so they bought the surrounding areas so we can build our own houses however we want.”

You walk out to a covered pathway that leads you to your own piece of paradise - a one-floor home with a veranda that’s overlooking the lake. It has an open floor plan with the kitchen and dining on the left of the entrance. At the center is a freestanding wall that separates the sleeping area from the living room, both spaces having a good view of the water. The corner on the left houses your painting materials, giving you access to the outside where the magic happens. 

There’s a stretch of land down the steps towards another walkway that juts out to the lake, and as you lean by the railing, you take in everything that you see. It’s been years but a lot of things look the same, and just like this city, it still is; it’s you and the man next to you who are different.

“So what did you do while you were here?” He asks, trying to imagine how you spent your days while he wasted away in your apartment in Seoul.

“I… cried,” you admit. “I was upset but I still missed you. But I also painted a bit, read books… Most times I just sat here. It’s so picturesque, you don’t really get tired of it. It helped because I kept thinking about you being alone and worried even if I wasn’t ready to speak with you then.”

“I was thinking of you a lot back then, too,” he says, facing you now and taking your hand. “I hated that you were alone and I didn’t know how to get to you. But I guess I should thank this place, too, for letting you breathe and letting you think. Is that how you forgave me?”

“It was,” you smile. “After my emotions settled, I thought that one day, I’d like to bring you here. I’m glad I could do that now.”

Jungkook smiles at you softly before his eyes turn desirous. “So are you gonna paint and read books and just sit out here this time, too?”

“Hmm, I could,” you smile back. “But I was also thinking of making love to you here. I think that would be nice.”

“It would be,” he hums, cupping your cheek now and pulling you in for a kiss. “We could probably start now, huh?” 

His free hand sneaks inside your dress to cup your breast, and you jerk when he flicks your pert bud and you’re taken out of his spell. 

“Honey, I’d love that but we have a dinner reservation soon,” you say, pulling away. “It’s jazz night and we said we’d catch that.”

Jungkook doesn’t look disappointed. He agreed with tonight, after all, and he thinks he’d just be craving more and more if you started anything right now, so he lets you go for a shower while he unpacks his things.

He looks out the water as the sun starts to set and spots the two other houses not far away. It seems as though those have been renovated, with extra rooms for your siblings’ kids now, and Jungkook wonders when you’ll have your own place extended for another room. 

He lets the thought settle in, as he continues to get used to the idea of having a family with you. It would be nice, he imagines, driving off during long weekends to come here and enjoy the scenery and just spend time together. Your children would grow up knowing their great-grandparents, running around the same garden and beaches that he did, perhaps playing with your old toys, too. He knows those have been preserved at your request, waiting for the perfect time to give them away.

You call out to him and he turns around to find you in a simple linen dress, the neckline low enough for your tattoo to make an appearance. You look stunning, as always, and he has to stop himself from pulling you for another kiss. 

He gets ready and goes out in a white button-up long-sleeve polo, loose enough for the cool summer evening. He catches you staring at him again, and he smirks at you to let you know that once dinner is over, your long night will begin. 

The restaurant is just 10 minutes away by car. It’s fancy yet still cozy, serving some of his favorite elevated local dishes. The jazz performance is great, and with a small crowd, the singer encourages the guests to take the dance floor and that’s what Jungkook does, taking your hand and asking you to dance with him. 

You’re shy at first but give in. Flushed against his chest, you both sway more than anything, and inhaling his ocean scent while he caresses your back, you feel that warmth that only his love can give, the kind of warmth you’ll constantly seek. 

You finish your glass of wine before you head back to the car, with Jungkook laughing over something on his phone right before you leave, saying that the guys’ group chat is blowing up.

“What are they up to now?” You ask. 

“Tae did this stranger role play with his girlfriend,” he shares. “You know, when they pretend like they don’t know each other and pick each other up?”

“O… kay. And then?”

“He got made up to look like some old Hollywood actor with the red jacket and slick hair and all. And people flocked to him to flirt before he could even get to his girlfriend. I can imagine she wanted to stop it all right then,” Jungkook narrates. 

“Why don’t they just stay at their place and flirt there?” You say. “They can even dress up if they want to. Why go through the struggle?”

“Because it’s fun!” Jungkook exclaims. “There’s a kind of thrill from doing that, especially in a public place. The usual role play can get a bit over-the-top sometimes.”

“And you know that because… you’ve done it?” You ask, ready for his answer because you’re used to him just casually mentioning his previous sex adventures by now.

“Just the usual,” he shrugs. “Boss-secretary, doctor-patient… She was into it and I went along because sure, why not?”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“Is that a trick question?” He asks, as he parks the car.

“No…” you answer. “I’m just wondering if role playing is something you like. If it is, then we can, I don’t know. Maybe try?”

He furrows his brows at you as you both enter your house, curious as to why you’re suggesting it when he knows it’s something that would make you uncomfortable. 

“Or like… uh, what else could we do?” You wonder out loud.

“Baby, we don’t have to do anything else,” he says, pulling you by the waist now. “If this is about you wanting to be ‘adventurous’ to appease me, then I’m gonna stop you right there.”

“I was just curious,” you pout. “I mean, it’s no secret that you’ve done a lot of these… ‘adventurous’ things with your partners - sex in a tent, in an alley, behind a waterfall… a sex show, and role playing as well? I guess I’m just wondering if you want us to do something exciting, too. If you’re still into that.”

“Baby, why would I want something else ‘exciting’ when I’ve got you?” He says, his onyx eyes boring into you to let you know that he means every word. “I married the prettiest girl in the world. Why would sex with you not be exciting? You know how fast I get hard with you. That’s… that’s exciting.”

You feel your cheeks warm again because he’s right. He does get hard pretty fast. 

“Plus, we’ve skinny dipped, had sex in a caravan, in the car, on a deck…” he continues. “But to be honest, you could just be lying down and I’d be all set.”

“That’s literally all I do,” you laugh embarrassingly. 

He’s always known that you like things simple. Sure, you give in to Jungkook’s requests, but most of the time, you settle for the same positions that you know give so much pleasure. You’re content; you just wonder if he is, too.

“Not all the time,” he corrects. “And those are just as exciting as when you’re coming undone under me and moaning my name, your perfect tits bouncing and your tattoo reminding me how much you love me.” He kisses your neck and you sigh in satisfaction at the movement. “I could get hard just thinking about that.”

You merely hum in response, not able to move on from it. You want to surprise him, maybe go out of your comfort zone to excite him differently, and so your wandering mind continues, something he picks up.

“Okay. Why don’t you… take control this time,” he suggests. “It’s nothing crazy. It’s just you directing me what you want me to do, how you want me to do it… anything.”

“That’s fine, hun, except there are times when I try to do that but you get so impatient and touch me right away,” you counter, chuckling now as you recall the times you direct him what position you want but his mind goes blank once things intensify and so he’s got his mouth and fingers inside and on you in seconds. 

“Fine, then we’ll do it without me being able to use my hands, then,” he says. “I’ll only use them when you ask, and stop when you ask. Are you okay with that?”

Your mind thinks of all the scenarios you’ve been playing in your mind all day, and you lick your lips in anticipation. 

“Looks like you are,” he says proudly, excitedly. “I guess then, we can start?”

You nod your yes. “You’ll be good for me?” 

“Fuck, yes,” he groans, his eyes widening in anticipation. “I’ll be so good for you, baby.”

“Kook, that wasn’t meant to be dirty talk or whatever,” you giggle. “I just meant that you’ll be good in following the instructions you set out.”

“Don’t care baby. Don’t take it back. But say it again, please?”

The way his eyes plead does something to you, and so you let your inhibitions go and follow what your pussy says. And right now, it wants to command Jungkook. 

You bite your lip before kissing him softly on the neck, trailing up until you reach his ear.

“You’ll be good for me?” You whisper sultrily this time.

He releases an incredibly deep grunt before he answers. “Yes, baby. I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Okay,” you pant, feeling your heart race now. “Kiss me. Just kiss me.”

Your mouths crash against each other, desperate and wanting in their movements. Your tongues fight for dominance but he lets you take this, liking how you aggressively take him in and pull his hair, causing him to moan, even more as his hands remain at his sides, aching to touch you but he promised he’ll be good; he promised to let you take control even if all he wants right now is to rip off your clothes and make out with your body. 

You moan as well, slowing down now as you try to catch your breath. You face him, your eyes glassy and your lips swollen, and he seems to like what he sees. You take his balled-up fists and unclench them, placing them over his top. 

“Undress please,” you say softly. “And do it slowly.”

Jungkook follows, his fingers working on the buttons carefully, skillfully, making sure you get to see and remember what those digits could do to you. He can’t wait for you to direct him to work those on you later on. 

He gets everything undone and so he removes it - slowly, as you asked. 

You gaze at his toned body, crafted by immaculate beings themselves as they created him so perfectly - the tautness of his chest, the line down his torso that branches out to his abs, the narrowness of his waist, all complementing the gorgeous face that you also can’t get enough of. 

His jeans hang right underneath the white band of his underwear, and though you love this look on him, you like something better. 

“Pants off,” you say this time. 

And he follows, undoing the button and unzipping his jeans, pushing them off him until they pool on his ankle. His feet do the work of ridding himself of the heavy material, and all the while, his eyes are set on you - dark with lust and challenging you to do more, to ask him of more. 

“Sit on the couch for me, baby,” the pet name coming out during tense moments like this.

He walks there as you say, and you watch his half-naked form move away from you, and it’s making you go feral.

“Where do you want my hands?” He asks when you’re finally standing in front of him.

“Just on the side,” you answer, your mind going hazy as you admire him seated on the couch now, his legs spread enough for you to see the stiff member in between. 

His eyes remain on you but you’re staring at his gorgeous lap and those blue boxer briefs he’s wearing, shaping him in all the right ways. You take this time to ready yourself, removing your dress for him to observe. With your lace underwear, you know you’ve got him craving for you. His jaw tightens and you know just how to ruin him.

You kneel down in front of him and he seems to know what you’re up to, as he clenches his fists to control himself. He looks like he really wants to break his own rules now. But you push on, meeting his eyes before licking a strip over his clothed cock. It’s hardened even more now, and you can’t wait for what you’re about to ask him to do. You softly bite the flesh, feeling him strain his thighs as you tease him relentlessly. 

Once you think you’ve teased him enough, you look up at him. “I want to see,” you whisper. “Take it out for me, show me what I do to you.”

He grunts before he follows, taking his cock out of his boxer brief, begging in his mind that you’d let him at least squeeze it because with you in your underwear on, commanding him like this while still maintaining your softness and hints of shyness, he’s losing his mind; he’s in real pain right now. 

“Do you think about me when you’re away?” You ask.

“Yes, baby. I think about you all the time.”

“What do you think about?”

“Kissing you,” he grunts. “Tasting you, sucking every sensitive part of you, making love to you. Fuck, baby, I could go on.”

“Can you show me what you do when you think about those things?” You say, taking deep breaths now as you prepare yourself for what you’re about to see.

Jungkook sighs in relief and gets to it, squeezing his throbbing member and stroking it as you requested. He wouldn’t have known that this is what you wanted him to do. He’s obviously touched himself during the times before sex, and he also really does it when he’s away from you, but doing it this way - on the couch while you now stand before him, your eyes watching his every move - it’s exhilarating. 

He continues his movement, getting into it completely as he takes in the way you look, especially with your parted mouth and heaving chest as you watch him pleasure himself to the sight of you. It seems like you’re in a daze, as your eyes don’t move away from him.

It’s the way his perfect slender fingers wrap around his thick, hard cock. It’s the way they glide, how his thumb occasionally presses the tip, how he starts to heave, feeling the pleasure build up, and how his head leans back and his back arches, revealing the column of his smooth neck, a perfect canvas for you to mark later on. You don’t stop the moan that you release, wanting to get into it, too, as the sight of your husband touching himself to the thought of you is so captivating. Seeing that this is what he does when he’s missing you makes you giddy, and you get to marvel at all of that right now. 

You sit on the coffee table, your eyes still not leaving him. You feel the dampness in your underwear, so you press your fingers onto it for that much-needed friction, and you’re left wanting more. You remove it, feeling the string of essence stick to you and disappear as you throw your lace clothing on his side. 

You touch yourself, too, your fingers drowning in how wet you are. They aid in your own pleasure, as you rub patterns on your clit that has Jungkook’s eyes widening in shock as you get into your own action, quickening by the second. Your eyes drift away briefly from him as your thighs start to shake, only being brought back when you hear him ask you to “open up.”

You spread your legs wider to give him a view, knowing that will help him. You want him to reach that peak, and you want to see him do so, since you miss out most of the time because you’re too caught up in the haze of how he pleasures you. You continue with your movements, speeding up once you feel you’re close to the edge, and Jungkook matches your pace, only for you to crash first. 

“Oh my god,” you heave, feeling the mess you’ve made of yourself, and seeing it, too, as it pools on the coffee table. 

“Fuck, baby,” Jungkook groans, his hand still working on his cock. “That’s so hot, I’m— fuck, I’m close. I want to come, baby. Fuck.”

He looks at you like he’s pleading, but you want to be selfish. You want to hold onto this scene of Jungkook pleasuring himself like this. 

“Just a little bit more,” you end up saying out loud. 

He concedes, knowing he’s given you all control. He slows down a bit, just so he won’t make a mess before you’ve asked him to. 

You see his thighs shaking, his jaw clenching so tightly, and the veins from his hands and arms popping out form how much he’s controlling himself. 

“Fuck, baby. I can’t take it anymore,” he pants. 

You don’t want him to suffer. You’ve ingrained this scene in your mind already, so you tell him he can come, and the grunt that he releases will live in your mind, too. He paints his torso with his slick, but you get to him before it all ends, as you kneel back down and take his dick in your hand to swallow all that’s left. 

“Shit, baby,” he groans again, taking you in with your eyes closed, lapping him up as you lick him off. “You drive me crazy. That was so hot.”

You sweetly smile at him before spotting his cum on his abs, perfectly placed on the dips and ridges, tempting you to clean him up.

And that’s what you do, as you lean forward and lick what’s remaining of his seed, your tongue gliding upwards and to the sides of his stunning plane. You lick and suck each patch of skin in your way, and you feel him still shaking a little bit, perhaps still coming down from his high. You get to his nipples, dark and beautiful as you nibble on them while trailing up to meet him in a searing kiss, letting him taste himself on you.

“I’m sorry for making you hold back,” you whisper against his lips, meaning it because you could tell he’d really wanted to come. 

“No need to, babe,” he responds, heaving. “That was so sexy; I was losing my mind.”

You giddily smile, and Jungkook doesn’t know how you can maintain that sweetness while saying words and doing things that make him breathless.

“Can you go again?” You ask, eyeing his flaccid cock and licking your lips. 

“As much as you want me to,” he replies, his body tensing in anticipation once more when you trace his dick with your fingers, tugging on the hem of his boxer brief until you’re pulling it off him completely. 

You place it on his side and return to kneeling in front of him, capturing his gaze and savoring the look of him naked and willing. “I really like that brand of underwear.”

“I’ve been wearing that since I was a teenager.”

“I know,” you hum, earning him a cocked eyebrow from you. “You used to wear those low rise jeans that showed your brief’s waistband, and then you’d pull up your shirt or do cartwheels or anything to show off. It wasn’t hard to miss.”

You giggle at the memory, recalling how anytime Jungkook revealed slivers of skin when you were both in your teens, you’d get flustered and look away. Your siblings and Junghyun didn’t miss how nervous you’d been then, saying that your little crush grew up with the both of you. 

“Ah, yeah. It made the girls go wild,” he smugly says. 

“That includes me now. It’s probably the tiny waist,” you say, kissing him there, your hair dangling over his skin that causes him to curse. 

“Or the strong thighs.” You spread his legs open so you can kiss him in places, too, finding his sensitive parts and licking him there. He stiffens at your movements, his clenched fists clenching even more, and when you look at his dazed eyes, you know you’ve got him wanting again. 

“Fuck, fuck, baby,” he heaves, losing breath once more. 

“Or, to those lucky enough to see it, your pretty cock,” you smile sweetly again, as if your words aren’t sending him in a spiral.

Perhaps all the times that you’d ogled at him quietly isn’t so bad, Jungkook thinks, knowing that this is how you are once you finally voice them out. You’re so enchanting like this, as the lust in your eyes is tinged with that love and adoration you have for him. It’s such a turn on, but it’s also turning him into mush. 

He watches you as you suck his balls and then lick a strip up his member that’s now stiffened from your words. You take him in - slow and deep - before swirling your tongue around and he seriously could cry. You’re teasing him but giving so much at the same time; his mind and body don’t know what to do. 

“But it’s all yours now, baby,” he drawls, tempted to break his rule and tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. “This body’s all yours and you can do whatever you want with it.”

You pop his cock out of your mouth and smile at him. “I will. That’s why I will admire it all I want.”

You stand up and look down at him, liking the anticipation in his eyes. You remove your bra and proceed to sit on his thigh, your slick sticking to his skin immediately. 

“You can touch me a little with one hand,” you mumble, humming once you let him cup your cheek first. 

“You’re so beautiful, baby,” he moans, tracing your lower lip with his thumb before sliding it inside your mouth. 

You suck on it while meeting his eyes, and he pulls it away before a moan escapes you, his wet finger now tracing circles on your pert nipple. His smooth hand with patches of callouses from his workouts caresses your bare body, fondling your breasts and pulling your face close for a kiss. It’s right after when you take his hand and place it on his side, signaling that his time for exploration is over. 

You’re in control again, as you slowly grind against his taut thigh, perfect for the friction you badly need. 

“You’re so beautiful, Kook,” you smile, combing your fingers through his curly locks. “I like your long hair,” you say. “You kinda look like a rockstar.”

He chuckles at your remark, a little thankful for the change in your tone. “So I’ve been told. That’s why grandfather asked me to cut it. I said I need something to pull when I’m stressed since work is driving me up a wall and they’re all pushing me too hard.”

“Hmm, still talking back to your elders, I see,” you laugh. “Nothing’s changed, Kook.”

“I’m a lot braver now because I’m with you,” he winks. “You’re kind of my shield, you know? You protect me from them so I can be honest. They gave me shit for my tattoos but they stopped once you got yours.”

You hum in satisfaction at the thought, knowing that you could do this for him.

“Guess I’ll have to comment during lunch with them that I love your long hair and your grandfather won’t ask you to get rid of it,” you giggle. “He quite adores me and trusts my taste.”

“Nothing’s changed, indeed,” he laughs, knowing that even from his side, they adore you wholeheartedly. 

“I love hearing you laugh, hun,” you say, causing him to smile at your words. “You look so free and happy and so full of love.”

“And that’s because of you,” he responds, his voice low and serious and it does something to you again. “You’re all I need, baby. You’re all I want in this life.”

You nod to let him know you feel the same, but it gets you going, with you wanting to keep on admiring him. And you do, kissing him tenderly with your arms around his neck as your fingers comb his hair. You continue to slide against him and his moans in between tell you how into it he is. 

Your lips slide down to his jaw and then to his neck, alternating between its smooth expanse to the stunning canvass of his chest. It’s soft kisses turned to playful nibbles turned to desperate sucking, as you take all of him in and express your adoration with marks and bruises that will stay with him. You’re rarely able to do this because he’s always the one on you so you take your time, liking the rise and fall of his chest and the moans and curses he lets out and the way he tries to hold back any other movement from the one you’re directing him to do, which is nothing. 

So you give him something, reaching out for his hand and guiding it to his cock that’s hard right now. “Touch yourself please,” you ask, your hand still on top of his as he strokes his member like you instructed. 

“Keep going, okay? I just want to see you this way,” you whisper in his ear. “You’ll get to touch me soon.”

“Yes, baby,” he moans, cursing as you increase your pace of thrusting against his thigh. 

You suck his neck, feeling his head bopping to his own movements and hearing the vibrations from his throat. You finally sit back up to watch him touch himself, the same movements from earlier driving you just as crazy. His parted mouth makes you want it on you, so you ask him to kiss your body, and he happily complies.

“Fuck, yes,” he grunts once his mouth is on your breast, aggressively licking and sucking just like you did on his neck. “You’re so hot, baby. I could suck your tits forever.”

“Hmm, I’d love that.”

Jungkook gets lost in the softness of your breasts. It’s perfectly shaped and feels so good in his mouth. He knows how to get you going, so he does all the licking and sucking and tricks he knows. It’s hard when he could bust any moment as he pleasures himself; it’s tough not being able to touch you, too, but he’d take this scenario any day. Hearing you instruct him what to do drives him wild, even more with your giddy and soft eyes looking back at him before it turns lustful. 

Your moans are louder now; your thrusts are getting erratic, too. Jungkook wants to savor this but he also wants to reach his high with you. But you take his free hand first and direct it to your cunt, and his curses again at being able to feel exactly how wet you are. 

His fingers find your throbbing clit right away. Bent a little back, you give him space to play with you, getting lost in it once again because even with limited movement, he knows just what to do.

Jungkook works his way on your cunt while he continues to stroke himself. It’s insanely pleasurable. It’s also getting hard and painful, and so it’s music to his ears when you say that you want him inside you. 

He lets go of his cock for you to slide down on, and the relief of your velvet walls makes him shiver. It’s like being out in the cold and then being wrapped up in something warm; your pussy is all the comfort he needs. 

But you’re still in control, he reminds himself, as you thrust on your own pace before you’re bouncing on top of him. Seeing your breasts bounce with you is disarming; you’re so sexy like this and he has to remind himself that you’re his wife and he’s truly able to be blessed by this sight everyday. 

You collapse on his chest, flushed against him as you catch your breath. But you keep going, grinding against him slowly. He takes the opportunity to nibble your ear and you don’t complain, so he keeps going, sucking your neck until you’re moaning and bouncing on him again. You sit back up and turn to him, and he captures your breast in his mouth. That’s when you lose it, feeling an out-of-body experience where all your nerves are heightened and stimulated so you give in. 

“Take control, baby,” you moan. “I want to come all over your cock and I want you to come inside me.”

You say it to challenge him, to get him going, and that’s what happens, as he growls and immediately lays you on the couch because even as he loves this view of you, there’s still nothing like seeing the pleasure on your face when he’s on top of you, pushing to the depths of your hole and hitting you where you want it.

Your hair creates a halo and you look absolutely stunning, ready and desperate for him, as you whisper that you love him, that you want to feel him inside of you. 

Jungkook thrusts hard. He’s got your legs spread so he can hold your thighs up and you can touch yourself while he’s reaching that spot that only he can. You both watch as he slides in and out, and it’s messy and obscene and erratic and every bit as good as it can get. You’re screaming by this time, and when he feels your legs shake, he goes even harder. 

He kisses you, wanting to swallow in your moans when you finally let go, and you do, after a deep thrust that sends you over the edge. But he continues, chasing his high as well. He gets there when you whisper in his ear, feeling as if his body’s on fire with your words.

“Come for me, baby. You’re so good to me,” you moan. “No one can make me feel good like this. You’re all I need, baby. You’re all I want.”

He loses it every time you praise him like that and you know this, and that’s why you always say it at the end, when you want to bask in his essence just as he basks in yours. 

You feel his warmth coating your walls, and just as you’re about to shiver from the sound of his end-of-sex moans in your ear, he turns to face you - damp hair and heaving chest - and his look softens, his small smile appearing before kissing you tenderly. 

“I love you, so so much, baby,” he mumbles against your lips. “Every version, every day.”

You giddily smile at him again and wrap your arms around his neck to pepper his face with kisses. You pull him on top of you until he shifts to lay on your side, afraid to suffocate you after what was an intense period of lovemaking, which really started from when you’d asked him to take his clothes off.

“How was that?” You ask, turning to face him. 

“Baby, did you see me?” He chuckles. “I was a mess.”

“Yeah, me too,” you laugh, nodding towards the droplets of cum you left on the coffee table. “I… I kinda let myself go earlier.”

“And it was so fucking sexy,” he praises. “But did you like it? Did you like being in control and teasing me like that?”

“I did,” you giggle. “You were pretty pliant, too. Not gonna lie, I was surprised. I thought you were gonna be whiny about it.”

“I was losing my shit,” he admits. “But I kinda made the rules and it was so hot hearing you tell me what to do. Or, well, ask. You’re still pretty polite about it.”

You laugh along with him but he assures you that he doesn’t mind it, and that he’s glad you don’t try to change just because you’re with him. The last thing he wants is for you to feel like you have to be adventurous or daring just to make him happy.

“I know I talk about my reckless and thrill-seeking past like it’s a badge of honor but it doesn’t mean that I’m not satisfied with our safer, more comfortable way of living,” he tells you. “I don’t yearn for anything more than what we do, okay? You literally turn me on with whatever you’re doing or wearing so don’t think I’d want you to be or do anything else, babe. I get to kiss you and make love to you all I want and that’s it… I’m a happy man.”

You scrunch your nose and giddily smile at his words, hiding your flushed face on his chest. 

“And when you lose your shit like that because of me… it’s pretty special, too,” he adds, hugging you now. 

You turn to face him and soften at how he fondly looks at you. 

“You… ignite something in me, Kook,” you say. “Coming here after so long reminded me a bit of how it was back when I left. I was emotional because it hurt, and it was because I cared about you; I always did. Junghyun told me how distraught you were and I let myself believe that you cared about me, too. That’s what made me go back to you and try to make it work. And being back here… I just can’t believe how far we’ve come.”

You caress his face and he kisses your hand, the sparkles in his eyes making your heart race once more. 

“You make me love so certainly and so passionately,” you add. “It’s thrilling, loving you like this. And we can argue or have issues or feel off with each other sometimes but if at the end of it, we can forgive ourselves and each other then it’s okay. We love hard and I know that’s how I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

It’s his turn to scrunch his nose now and smile, choosing to kiss you deeply as he pulls you in a hug instead of saying anything more. You’ve said it all, he thinks; he knows you know he feels the same.

But still, you ask. “Have I left you speechless now, Mr. Jeon?”

He laughs at your teasing. “I don’t know why you say you’re not good with words. I… I needed to hear them, babe. Being here and knowing where you spent your days while I was wallowing in guilt and misery at home hits me but doing all this now with you reminds me that we got through that. And we got through the past weeks, too.”

“Thank you for taking a short break to be with me here,” you say, kissing him. 

“Baby, I wouldn’t pass up on any break from work,” he laughs. “But hyung assured me that I could. He knows I need to be with you after all that.”

You sigh in relief as you hug him, feeling the knots and bolts of his body melt away like yours are. Being together is like that for both of you, you think. Your love - in whatever form it’s expressed - is healing; it’s rejuvenating. It’s the kind you give so much of yourself to but feel like you’re becoming whole, complete, yet there’s still space for more. 

You’re glad your parents made that deal with the universe to save you all those years ago. It made you live long enough to experience this. 

A small smile forms on Jungkook’s face as he watches your soft, steady breathing. You seem to be in a deep sleep - a good one - he thinks, as the light from the sun coming from the glass doors doesn’t seem to be bothering you the way it usually does. He can’t blame you though. Last night was incredible. And pretty tiring, too, especially at the end when you let him take control, and he’d made love to you hard on the couch and then during your shower right after. 

You were breathless by the time you were in bed, and you had to constantly assure him that he didn’t go too hard for the sex to be considered a ‘strenuous activity.’ You’re still required to take things easy, as your cardiologist had told you, and the last thing Jungkook wants is for you to overwork your heart just because he’d been too keen to fuck you. But seeing you enjoy yourself did things to him. So did seeing you be giddy, and then hearing you express your feelings. 

It’s been a tough few weeks. He knew that during the times he was cold and distant towards you that he still felt so much love; it was just hard to express it because he was upset. He just had to process his negative emotions properly and ride them out. Once he’d cleared his head, there you were again, the only clarity he needed, and he was back to being the lovestruck man who’s head over heels in love with his wife. The best part was that you were the same, and being back in Busan and in this specific house is making him a little sentimental. And pretty horny, too. 

Jungkook moves away from the bed and removes his shirt that’s absorbed all his sweat. He woke up early and went for a run down a nearby trail, savoring the cool morning breeze by the water and the natural sounds of the forest. It was gorgeous, and he thinks of going on a picnic with you tomorrow to see the sights.

He just got back to the house, expecting you to be awake, but the sight of you sleeping peacefully is still something nice to return to. Wanting to take advantage of the tranquility of this place, he decides to do some painting. 

You showed him your corner yesterday. It’s complete with an easel and a stool that faces the view. There’s a bench with paint and brushes that you’ve left and you brought. You told him he could use them if he wanted. 

The lake sparks creativity, you said, and he feels that now. The sun casts a glow over it that he wants to capture in brush strokes, and he wants to create something to remind him of this particular day and this specific moment, where he stands by the kitchen counter in a space you’ve both come to claim as your slice of heaven. Moans were bouncing off the walls last night but right now, it’s quiet. And whether you’re naked and bouncing on top of him, or naked under the covers as you take your needed rest, he knows you’re all he needs and wants, and he’ll never get tired of telling or showing you all that.

Choosing the colors he’ll be using, Jungkook starts to work. He stays true to the view before him, blending the blues and yellows and greens that he sees and laying them all out on the canvas. He wants to surprise you, show you he’s learned some tricks that he’s seen you do; he can already imagine your proud face and that gets him excited. 

It’s almost an hour later when he hears shuffling inside the house followed by your call of his name.

“I’m outside, babe,” he yells. “I prepared the coffee in the pot, just press the button.”

You shout out your thanks and he gets back to work, immersed in the almost-finished product when your voice takes him out of his zone.

“That’s gorgeous, Kook,” you hum. “Way better than the one you did the last time.”

“Hey,” he laughs, tickling you. 

He turns to you and his face softens. You’re standing next to him with mussed hair dressed in his white button-up polo from last night. He’d left it on the stool by your bed and you probably decided to wear it when you got up because you know he loves seeing you wear his clothes. 

“Am I making your heart flutter, Mr. Jeon?” You tease, seeing his soft, dimpled smile. 

He hasn’t said anything for the past 10 seconds and you think maybe it’s your chosen morning outfit. 

“You know the answer to that,” he replies, pulling you by the waist and directing you to sit on his lap. “It was supposed to be a surprise,” he says of the painting. “But since you’ve seen it, what do you think?”

“It’s very Bob Ross-esque,” you compliment him. “And it’s really good, hun. The day’s pretty nice, huh? I’d paint this scenery, too, if I wasn’t so tired.”

“You’re welcome,” he smirks. “But I went for a run and everything was just so pretty. You were still sleeping when I got back so I thought to try painting while waiting for you to wake up.”

“Well, it’s good I was still asleep then,” you smile. “The piece is great. You’ve got a good teacher, I’d say.”

“She is. She’s pretty hot, too, so it’s hard to focus sometimes.”

“You’re so cheeky,” you playfully roll your eyes before kissing cheek and standing up to get your coffee.

You choose to lean on the railing when you return, soaking up the midday sun and relishing the calmness of the lake. It’s so peaceful out here, making you appreciate your house’s soundproof walls because you definitely were not quiet last night. Other than the loud thrumming of your heart at how much you were lusting over your husband touching himself and coming undone in front of you, you also know that your joint moans were pretty obscene. 

You didn’t shy away from letting him know how you were affecting him, especially when he’d pounded into you so purposefully that you felt him so deep within you. Even the bathroom sex was mind-blowing. So was the loving way he’d kissed you until you both fell asleep, and the thought of all the ways that Jungkook makes love to you sends a shiver down your spine. 

You shake a little bit and turn around, surprise laced on your face as you see your husband looking at you from his stool, legs spread with a smirk on his face in all his shirtless glory. 

“How long have you been ogling me?” You arch an eyebrow.

“As soon as you came out,” he smiles. “You look stunning, babe. The lake’s pretty lucky it gets to be your background.”

You chuckle at his cheesiness and sip your coffee. “Finish your work now and then we can get ready to head out. We can have early lunch at the seafood place our families used to go to.”

With you by the railings looking breathtaking against the view, it’s a nice scene that Jungkook wants to capture. “I wanna try to draw you,” he states, taking one of your sketch pads and placing it on the easel now. 

“Oh yeah?” you ask. “I should pose then.”

He turns to you just as you start unbuttoning your top, leaving your tattoo and black satin underwear exposed. You see him visibly swallow and you push it, adjusting his polo to reveal more of your skin. 

“This okay, hun?”

“I–, uh… hmm,” he furrows his brows, his eyes flitting from you to the pad. 

Jungkook decides he’s not good enough to capture you in drawing, and he’s definitely not patient enough to wait to finish it before he can kiss you because the way you’re teasing him is a little too much. He has to have you right now.

Retrieving the polaroid camera from inside the house, he walks back out and snaps a shot. “I won’t do you justice, babe,” he explains. “And you look too fucking sexy to pass up on.”

He takes another one and then places them on the coffee table next to him. He walks to you and immediately captures you in a deep kiss, his hand gripping your waist the same way yours grips his chest.

“So that worked, huh?” You giggle. “I was wondering when you were gonna just walk over here and claim me.”

“You could’ve just said you wanted me, too,” he laughs. “You know I like hearing that.”

“You also like it when I tease you,” you counter. “And, well… here I am.”

You bite your lip and pull the polo just enough to expose your shoulder, and Jungkook basically growls at the act, putting away your coffee then kissing you once again. 

You moan against his mouth once his hand slides inside to fondle your breast, and the sensation from his touch sends you in a daze. You let him suck your neck only for a while, nudging him to turn to you so you could get a look at him.

“Baby,” he whines, wanting to have continued to map out your body in this open space. 

“I just…” you trail, your eyes scanning his half-naked form, his cream-colored joggers low enough again to show the band of his boxers. 

You trace your fingers down his torso, following the lines and ridges that you know he works hard on. His breathing quickens, even more so when you slowly slide your hand in, immediately stroking his semi-hard cock. 

“Fuck,” he groans, his head leaning back at the pleasure he feels, your soft skin soothing yet electrifying him at the same time. 

But you shouldn’t be the only one, he thinks, as his hand sneaks inside your underwear now, his fingers finding your throbbing clit amidst all the wetness. 

“Mhmm,” you hum, your mouth parting as you suck in a breath. 

Jungkook wants to bask in your look as you pleasure each other, but he also really wants to kiss you, so he pulls you close, angling your head with his other hand and takes you in. It’s all tongue and teeth, as you both seem desperate for the other, and that’s what prompts him to start walking back and taking you with him, needing to taste you this second because he can feel just how wet you are for him. 

He guides you towards the desk near your bed, lifting you a little so you could sit on it, causing you to let go of his dick and you whine in response. You’re not able to say anything more, as he slides two fingers inside your hole at the same time that he sucks your nipple.

“Kook, oh my good,” you keen, feeling your slick spread as he pumps into you. 

He doesn’t say anything. He just continues with his movements as you heave in pleasure, grinding reflexively as you seek more friction than just his fingers. 

“Do you want more, baby?” He asks, looking at you now.

“Yes,” you whisper, your mouth parting once he presses your clit. “Want your mouth. Oh god, baby,  I want your mouth.”

He slows down his movements before retrieving his hand from your damp underwear, showing you his fingers drenched in your slick. He licks them off you as he holds your gaze, and you take his hand off his mouth so you could suck them, too. 

You moan as you do, suddenly wanting his dick as well. He crouches down before you get to say anything, pulling off your underwear to see you dripping wet, your essence forming a dot on the desk this time. You’d be embarrassed if he didn’t look so turned on by it, and you completely lose it once he licks a strip up your pussy and swirls his tongue around it. 

You lose all sense by then, allowing yourself to just let go because with how he’s gripping you and sucking you dry, you know you won’t be able to control how your body will react anyway. 

He sets a rhythm, pulling your hips to meet his mouth and you follow the pace, grinding against him as your body burns with so much pleasure. Your ass sits by the edge and your legs are hanging on air, but you know he’s got you. It isn’t like this is the first time, yet every time feels like it is. Jungkook does you so well, you’ve stopped questioning his ability at this point. 

Your legs start to shake and his hands glide to hold up your thighs while your arms support you. It’s uncontrollable by now and you don’t mind the moans that escape you. He’d just fucked you senseless last night but that already feels too far away. You know it's still gonna be another good one this time. 

“I’m coming, Kook. Agh–” you shriek, feeling it so suddenly, until you’ve reached the edge and feel even wetter, as your orgasm hits and it feels like a waterfall.

Your husband hums from in between your legs, taking all that he can, even as your legs continue to shake. He kisses your inner thigh before kissing up your torso, meeting your dazed look with his satisfied smile. 

“Can you go again, baby?” He smirks, taking off his joggers and boxer briefs in one movement to reveal his cock that’s definitely ready for you.

You want to trace the veins with your tongue, lick the pre-cum off it, and swallow it until you can’t breathe, but his hand gets to it first, with him knowing now how touching himself turns you on. He strokes himself a little, and the version of you that touches herself when he does is back, as you instantly fiddle with your clit to address the aching need at the sight of him like this. 

Holding the base of his member, he pushes slowly into you, joining your moan at the feel of him within your velvet walls. 

“Baby, you feel so good,” he grunts, as he meets your thrusts. “So, so fucking good, my dick could live here.”

“I want it to,” you manage a response. “Kook, baby, you’re so big. Go deeper, please. I can take it.” 

Jungkook follows, moving closer and pushing harder as you ask, feeling your edge as he drags his cock against your walls. You’re moaning in his mouth, lips no longer moving as you feel lost in all that he’s doing to you. 

“You like that so much, don’t you?” He moans. “Like how deep I go? How much I stretch you out?”

“Yes, baby,” you huff, unable to form words now. But you try, knowing he likes hearing you like this. 

You’re flicking your nipple while he’s massaging your clit, and with all the movements, you feel it again. You try to hold out, wanting to savor this feeling a little longer, but Jungkook’s erratic movements tell you that he’s just about to reach his peak, too, so you let yourself go again, waiting for the crash and hoping he’d get to do it with you.

His body shakes now, you feel it, as yours does the same. And it’s not long after when you feel the shiver all over you, and then he comes, too with a release of a deep breath that gives you goosebumps. 

He pulls out, and seeing his cum slide out of you, he pushes back in, making you yelp in surprise.

“We made a mess,” he chuckles, his voice low and hoarse from all the moaning he’s done. 

“Hmm, we did,” you huff, seeing him swirl his dick with your joint essence on your pussy. 

He’s done this before. But seeing it from this angle, with the sun shining from your glass wall - it’s incredibly sexy. You laugh to yourself. It’s not even lunchtime. 

“Honey, I’m tired,” you laugh now.

Jungkook kisses you tenderly and you smile against his lips. “Okay then. We shower and then we take a nap. Food can wait.” 

You stare at the plates of food that you and Jungkook had devoured. A lunch for 4, you think, and you blame the late morning nap you took that’s caused you to have your first meal at 1PM. You don’t mind though, as the dishes were much more delicious with how hungry you were, and Jungkook seems the same, as he satisfyingly smiles at you. 

“Ah, that was good,” he hums. “Nothing like our favorite seafood restaurant.”

“I know, right? I remember how our grandparents would always reserve the function room for our families,” you say. “You boys were always so rowdy, running around the place.”

“Food energizes us,” Jungkook shrugs. “And yeah, I remember. Seoyeon would scold us for being noisy.”

“And I was always just there, sitting and laughing at the silly faces you were making when the adults finally told you off.”

“You really had a crush on me, huh?” He smirks, pulling you closer to his side so he could have a better look at you. 

“Yes, and you really never noticed,” you counter, laughing at his pout. “Would it have made any difference if you knew that weak little me adored you and your bowl-cut?”

“I really don’t understand how you found that cute,” he laughs. “That’s my most embarrassing look ever.”

“What? It was adorable!” You giggle, pinching his chin. “You were always so mischievous but the haircut made you look tiny and pure for some reason. Plus, you had this smile. It was always very sweet.”

He sighs at the thought, imagining a prepubescent Jungkook causing trouble with you still thinking he was pretty special. “I don’t remember as much about you. I hate it.”

“Kook, we have so many photos and home videos,” you comfort him. “We can always go through them and try to remember. I think that’ll be fun, don’t you think?”

It would, he smiles to himself. Days and nights of being curled up on the couch, watching your younger selves and thinking of how neither of you would’ve imagined getting married and being this in love. Your future kids would ask how you two met and you could both show them those videos. He’d proudly say how you were crushing on him early on and you’d tease that he never really minded you. It’s all fun, though, and he can picture your future kids enjoying it, too, perhaps thinking it could be them on screen. He’s suddenly excited to find out who they’d take after. 

“Honey? You okay?”

“Yeah, I just zoned out a bit but of course, that would be fun. We can make fun of each other while watching.”

You smile at the thought, knowing that reminiscing those days would be a shock to him. You wonder how much of your adoration for him was caught on camera, but even you are curious. Your siblings and Junghyun would tell you stories as you got older, and there were things that you’d either forgotten or didn’t know. 

Sometimes you think you downplayed just how big of a crush you had on Jungkook when you were younger because it was unrequited - a silly thought now, given how he is with you. He used to not look your way but now, it seems as if he can’t take his eyes off you the way you can’t take your eyes off of him.

You both exit the restaurant and drive to your middle school. You introduce yourselves and are immediately allowed in. Classes have just ended so it’s a little busy with the students leaving, but the shrieks remind you of how things were during your time, and how different you and Jungkook remember your pre-teen days to be.

The difference is much more glaring once you’re in your high school not far away, especially as you look around the library that’s changed a lot over the years. But you remember your spot at the corner, where you and Yeri would study while Nari drew dresses and Minhyuk read comics. 

“You know, I’ve probably only ever been here thrice,” Jungkook laughs, the place an unfamiliar spot for him. It’s also so quiet; it’s unnerving and probably why he never really came here.

“I’m not surprised,” you laugh. “But then again, I’ve only ever stepped foot on the field twice.”

“What? Did you not have PE class?” 

“I did,” you say. “My parents had me spared from the physical stuff, so I just read up on sports and other things for my grade.”

“That’s so sad, babe,” he laments. “PE was like, the best. It was the only subject I liked.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” you exclaim. “But yeah, I got used to it. It’s different learning a sport by reading it but it was okay, I guess. My teacher would let me watch classes and varsity games sometimes.”

“Let me guess, you were watching me?” He smirks.

“Not always,” you playfully roll your eyes. “You weren’t the only good-looking guy in school, you know?”

“What! Who else was?”

“Secret,” you tease, sticking your tongue out and walking down the hallway. 

You pass by the auditorium, another place you spent a lot of time in. Minhyuk used to play the violin and you’d watch his rehearsals with their music group here.

“Okay, tell me you’ve been here at least once to watch a club performance or something,” you say, turning to him. 

“Uh, no?” He laughs. “All I remember from this is that we had an important game against a rival school on the field and all your friends were there except for you. Hyung watched it and I overheard him ask them where you were and Yeri said you were at the auditorium because there was some flute recital or something.” He rolls his eyes. “Why would that be more interesting than my soccer game?”

You laugh at his bitter expression. “You wouldn’t have cared, hun. And I’m pretty sure she said saxophone. That was Jaehyun’s instrument.”

“Who’s that? Why doesn’t he sound familiar?”

“Because he was a year older,” you respond as you walk past the seats. “He, uh, he invited me, said I was probably gonna watch the game but it didn’t hurt to try, and he was surprised that I said I’d watch him.”

“Were you… a thing?” He furrows his brows.

“Why would that matter,” you ask. “You were the one dating the class President and the gymnast and a lot of other girls.”

“Yeah but I never took them seriously,” he defends. “We just… you know.”

“Oh, I know,” you chuckle. “Talks of how good of a kisser you were and uh, other stuff spread like wildfire, Kook. It wasn’t exactly a secret.”

You're right, it really wasn’t. He was the rich popular jock that girls flocked to and he loved the attention, and that continued until university. But like he always said, it was all fun for him. 

You… you were never the type to date for fun, so he knows that any guy you were with could’ve been the one, and yes, even Won-shik. Or Jongin. Maybe this Jaehyun dude. 

It could’ve been Mingyu.

“So you and the guy, were you…?” He asks again. 

“He courted me,” you say. “But I wasn’t sure about having a boyfriend at that time and he said he’d wait but I told him not to. We drifted once he graduated and that was it.” 

“Okay.”

“Does that matter?” You wonder.

“Sometimes I think there could’ve been a version of this life where we weren’t married,” he starts. “Like, you could’ve been with someone else you loved and I probably would’ve been arranged with some other person but you and I would still see each other regularly because of our families and like… that’s just… a hard thought to have. If it wasn’t me with you right now.”

“Yes, Kook, it’s a hard thought but also impossible because I’m with someone I love and you’re with me right now,” you tell him. “And this is the only version of life I’ll have. Also, I think I have a pretty special connection with the universe so sometimes I think they were truly on my side. They kept me alive and well, they made me marry you, the man who never really took anyone seriously and now look at you!”

“Yeah, look at me, head over heels in love with the woman he was bitter about and barely minded,” he laughs dryly. “But I think they were on my side, too.”

You smile at the thought, knowing that Jungkook may not really be able to let go of the guilt from years ago but he could at least look at things this way - at the end of it, you get to be together happily, making new memories in the places you’ve known all your lives, and out to make even more.

You continue your walk around the school. You pass by the faculty to greet your teachers from over 10 years ago, who fawn over both of you. They say how surprised they were that you’d ended up together, but don’t doubt that now seeing how happy you both look. 

Walking down the hallway, you gush over the shelf with championship trophies that Jungkoook had won with the soccer team. And then finally, you sit on the bleachers that overlook the soccer field, Jungkook’s stage during your years in school. 

“It does look pretty with the sun casting a shadow over it,” you hum, seeing that it’s late in the afternoon. “I can see why you loved being here, Kook. And seeing you play now, you truly belong on the field.”

“Those years were fun,” he reminisces. “I loved the adrenaline rush, the thrill, the cheers… I loved the attention, really. It made me feel free. I think I kept chasing that high outside of it. And it got me into a lot of trouble.”

“Well, all that trouble landed you right here with me,” you comfort him. “I think it’s not all that bad.”

“Not at all,” he agrees. “But I still experience all that, you know? The thrill, the cheers, the attention… I married someone who gives all those to me. My younger years can’t really compare.”

Your cheeks reach your eyes as you giddily smile. “My heart is fluttering, Mr. Jeon,” you giggle. “Too bad we’re in school so I can’t kiss you right now.”

“Actually, I know a spot…”

“Kook!” You squeal, not wanting to know where he’d made out with the girls back then, but he laughs along to tease and says that you both could always drive back home and do all the kissing you want. 

Tempting, you think, but all the walking has made you hungry and he promised you’d have milmyeon for dinner and then pass by the kiosk where Mrs. Na always bought you your favorite hotteok. 

You do all that, and just like what Jungkook said, you go back home and do all the kissing you want. 

The kissing obviously escalated to so much more. Jungkook let you ride his face and you let him fuck your mouth. The lake house is so conducive to lovemaking, you told him as you started to doze off, and he assured you that all this wouldn’t end here. There’s lots to make up for, but also, making up with you makes him feel like a new man and a better lover, and he wants to be able to show you all that. 

He doesn’t mess around though, as you wake up the next morning flushed against his firm chest that you can’t help but kiss all over, and to get you going for morning sex by the lake, he wildly eats you out then takes you from behind while you look at the view outside. 

You at least eat your breakfast that you had made on the veranda and then have enough energy to walk down the trail by the lake to see the forest and the birds. Jungkook lays down a mat and you both enjoy fruits and desserts before heading out for a late lunch of pork rice soup that you’ve dearly missed. 

You drive around your part of the city, passing by spots and beaches you used to frequent, and it’s as if you could hear the shrieks and laughter from your younger days, sounds you joined in on every once in a while. But much of it was Jungkook’s, and you smile at the thought; he was already making your heart flutter then, and you don’t think that’s ever gonna stop.

He stops by a familiar park, and it takes a while before it registers that this is the playground that both of you used to go to a lot. It’s the midway point of your grandparents’ estates so all you Jeon and Kim kids would play here before heading to either of those places. 

It’s also where he asked you to play when you were 4 years old. And where you told him no.

“Are we here to reenact that moment I broke your heart?” You tease, walking next to him as you bask in the sight of your childhood. You may not have played in the playground but you did have your dolls with you. 

“Sort of,” he chuckles. “With a good ending this time though. I kind of wanna have both memories ingrained in my mind so they could remind me of how far we’ve come.”

“Sounds good,” you smile, sitting on the bench that you think is the one you would always sit on. 

It’s been over 20 years and a lot about it has changed, but you suppose it’s a good guess.

“It’s amazing the memories that we retain, isn’t it?” You wonder out loud. “I remember that day, too. We were just 4 years old, and, well, it’s one of the few that I remember.”

“I know, right? I don’t remember much from that age apart from that moment, actually,” he says. “It stuck with me, maybe because it really affected me. Who knows? Maybe I was crushing on you before that so I chose to forget everything else after you rejected me,” he laughs. “Selective memory and shit.”

“Could be,” you laugh along. “But can you imagine how it must’ve been like for our families seeing us grow up and grow apart? It must’ve sucked.”

“I’m sure it did,” he hums, knowing how much your families wanted this union. “Perhaps the universe was on their side, too.”

You smile at the thought. Coming back to the places with traces of Jungkook as the kid you admired from a short distance makes you sentimental because he’s right, there could’ve been another version of life where you didn’t end up together. Who knows if your fondness for him would’ve faded if you’d married someone else? But you’d still see each other regardless, and the feeling could be haunting you. 

You wonder if you weren’t sick, or was just careless enough to have played with him even if you weren’t allowed to - how different would your friendship have been like growing up? Would you be closer? Would he have been as reckless or less of the playboy he was? Would you have been more daring just to keep up with him? Would you have both tried to date? What if it didn’t work out, being as you were both still young then?

But as you look up at Jungkook who’s now standing before you, his hand in his pocket before he reaches it out the way he did over 20 years ago, you think that maybe all those had to happen so you could have this. 

Maybe the distance meant that you’d both grow and make mistakes individually. Maybe having different sets of friends and hobbies meant you’d both appreciate yourselves for who you are so you could appreciate the other just as much. Maybe his colorful relationship record and your neutral one meant being able to balance excitement and security. Maybe all the heartbreaks along the way meant you’d learn how to ride through them so you could love each other even more. 

Because as you take his hand and stand up to meet him for a kiss, you don’t think you could ever love him more than you do right now. You feel it all over your body that you think it’s all it knows to do at this point. 

“Four-year old Jungkook is probably bursting at the seams right now,” he hums as he kisses you again, his arms around your waist and his forehead against yours. 

“And four-year old me is probably doing the same,” you smile. “But this 29-year old version of me is so content right now, Kook. She can’t get any happier.”

She can, are the words that echo in Jungkook’s mind. Being here makes him realize how else you - both of you - can be happier. But he keeps the thought to himself and chooses to agree with you for now. 

“That’s great, babe. This version of me feels the same.”

The stack of Polaroid photos from the past 3 days has gotten taller. There’s so much from the beach, your grandparents’ house, your schools, the trail, and of course, the playground. Jungkook holds up the ones from earlier where you’re sitting on the swing and the one where you both attempted to slide together but got stuck. 

Your smiles are as wide as they could get, and seeing them now tugs at his heart. You seem like you can’t get any happier, but he also knows there’s something more that you wish for. 

And it isn’t just about giving it to you; he wants to make it with you, because seeing you skip around earlier and play in the seesaw with him and laugh your sweet, tender laugh - he knows that there are so many more ways he can show you he loves you, and the sight of you happy and free and content is something he wants to see everyday of his life.

“What you looking at, hun?” You ask, as you wrap your arms around his crouched form on the edge of the bed, your chin sliding in the crook of his neck and peeking at what he’s holding. 

“All our photos,” he says. “We ended up taking so many.”

“Hmm, more to put in our photo album then,” you hum, kissing his cheek before kissing his shoulder, and then his back, given that he’s too sexy not to have your lips mapping them out. 

You make it to the line down his back, kissing his tailbone before lying in bed. “I’m tired,” you yawn. “Let’s sleep, hun. We have a day of travel tomorrow.”

Jungkook keeps the photos in a pouch and turns off the light before he lays next to you, his arm stretching out so you have space to rest your head on his chest. 

You make yourself comfortable right away, close to drifting to sleep with his post-shower natural scent and his smooth skin. 

“Baby?”

“Hmm?”

“I was just thinking…” he starts. “We kinda went down memory lane, you know? And sorted things out like we said we would. We got through a fight that had us loving each other even more and I feel like I’ve learned and matured after all that and I… I think I’m ready.”

He turns to you, wanting to see your face, and your curious eyes meet his certain ones. 

“I want to have a family with you,” he says. “And I mean, really want it, like, I want us to seriously try now.”

“Kook…” you mumble, a little surprised but beaming with joy just the same. 

“I’ll admit at the start, a part of me just wanted to get ahead with it because I knew it would make you happy and that would make me happy,” he admits. “But now, I just… I want that for us because we love each other so fucking much and I don’t know how else we could show or express it. And that’s nice, isn’t it? It’s overflowing and the only other person who should receive that love other than you or me is someone we both created.”

You’re frozen, constantly blinking at him in disbelief until he nudges your nose with his. 

“Hey, say something,” he whispers. 

“I… ” you quiver. “I’m… Kook, that’s amazing. You… We… we’re ready. We have so much to give and we, I…”

A tear falls down your cheek. 

You and Jungkook had agreed to let life just happen. You make love all the time anyway and it used to comfort you that there could at least be a chance you’d get pregnant with the frequency you do it. But conceiving a baby isn’t that easy. You may have sex a lot but it doesn’t mean you always do it at the right time. Both your stress levels have been quite high, too, and that’s been a factor on why it hasn’t happened yet. 

There were a few times when you thought your period being late meant you could be pregnant, only to have it happen right before you told Jungkook. You won’t deny it disappointed you a little. 

But now, with him saying he wants to actively try, it’s making you excited and nervous but incredibly happy. You’ve wanted this for a while, and you realize now with what you and Jungkook could handle and take on together, you want it even more. And he’s right there with you. 

“Oh, baby,” he says, caressing your cheek. “I’m… I’m sorry it took a while for me. Wanting to let life surprise us feels like a cop out now.”

“Don’t be sorry, hun,” you sniff, sighing into his touch. “What matters now is that we both want this. And we’re… we’re really gonna try.”

“Yeah,” he smiles. “We can go see your doctors tomorrow or the day after to consult. Whatever they say, we’ll follow. If we have to have even more sex, then that’s great.”

You laugh at his words. “I think we have enough of it.”

“We never know.”

You kiss him. Deeply. You kiss him so hard, it’s the only way to express how happy you are because words fail you. You kiss him so long that you climb on top of him, wanting to feel him wrap himself around you, touch you, cradle you, show you how much he loves you.

“Oh, so we’re starting now?” He teases once you pull away. 

You just hover over him, your eyes boring into his sparkling ones, and you giggle as you boop his nose. 

“I’m actually not ovulating but it doesn’t matter,” you say, pressing your clothed pussy against his cock. “I just… I just want to feel you right now. Your wanting to have a family is such a turn on, I’m scaring myself.”

He smirks at your honesty but he loves it. Your being turned on by it is also turning him on. 

But he lets you do what you want first, as you kiss down his torso then pull down his boxer briefs to lick his hardening cock before you take him all in.

“I thought you were tired, babe,” he huffs, feeling the tension build as you take him so desperately, his thighs straining from the pleasure. 

“Not anymore,” you say, gagging with how big he is. You turn to look at him with his cock in your hand now, meeting the smirk he has on his face. “I think I can do this all night.”

“Fuck, baby,” he grunts. “You gotta play fair. I need my time to do you, too.”

Waking up the next morning feels different. With Jungkook flushed against your back and his arm around your middle, you think that hopefully in a few months, he’d be lovingly caressing you there when there’s a tiny human growing inside you. 

It’s a nice thought, but one you can wait for a while to happen. Although last night’s sex was pretty intense, you’re not fertile and there wouldn’t be any surprises soon, but it was still really good. Your emotions had overtaken you and you went with what your heart and body were saying, and you’re now left with sore limbs. But you don’t mind. You’re satisfied beyond belief. And while this may be your last day of your time here, you’ll be going back to your normal life with much more excitement this time. And you know your husband feels the same. 

He wakes up shortly after, and you both pass up on breakfast to just sleep in and cuddle, knowing there’ll be less of this again, so you savor being naked in each other's arms, giggling and kissing.

You finally make it out of bed and pack up, ready to head to his grandparents’ as you both promised. It goes by smoothly, with them fawning over you as always, and you and Jungkook spend some time right after going around the estate and recalling memories again. 

He takes you to his room, which is where he stayed when he was much younger. It’s still a little boy’s bedroom with all the toys organized and the clothes stored neatly. He opens his closet and takes a chest from the floor, unlocking it to reveal sets of baby clothes in mint condition. 

There’s a swaddling cloth and a blanket, a crocheted bunny and a baby giraffe. There are onesies and beanies and tiny shoes and mittens. 

Jungkook touches them lightly, excitedly thinking about your future baby wearing them. 

“I have a chest like this, too,” you say, smiling up at him. “It’s at my grandparents’. Do you think we could pass by for it? I think it would be nice to have our tiny one wear our clothes, don’t you think?”

“It would be,” he smiles. 

You both casually tell your grandparents that you wanted to bring the chests back with you to Seoul “just in case” because you’re sentimental, not wanting to make too big of a deal out of deciding to finally and seriously try getting pregnant this time. You don’t miss their glassy eyes and proud faces, though, and you think of the joy they must be feeling. You hope all goes well and that they’d get to spend as much time with their future grandchildren as possible. It was their dream, after all, and you know it means just as much to them.

With your treasure troves in the trunk and your hand in Jungkook’s, you both drive away, hoping that not too long from now, a little one will be joining you in your weekend getaways and short breaks and vacations. You could only hope they’ll love you with all their heart as much as you know you’ll love them with all of yours.

Series Masterlist

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[chronicallyonline-fandomwh0r3]

Y'know... i love the dpxdc fandom a lot. I follow a lot of creators and love to see different viewpoints on this fandom.

BUT, that does not mean I will tolerate people being asses and/or bullies. YOU don't want to see this crossover? the fucking block tags/blogs button is RIGHT THERE.

Limiting peoples fun and want to write? FUCK YOU.

Limiting peoples creativity and crack filled bullshittery of posts? FUCK YOU.

THIS IS TUMBLR, ITS NOT MENT TO BE A SERIOUS SITE. WE LOVINGLY CALL IT THE HELL SITE FOR A REASON.

Now, anyone who sees this post will be wondering why I'm being a bitch and what brought this on.

WELL, I have been gone for a few days dealing with real life shit and when I come back, i find out that this @jedipirateking person keeps "fact checking" and "I don't like this for so and so" on a lot of my mutuals posts.

Now at first I didn't want to deal with it. I made one response and BLOCKED the person.

I come back AGAIN after being gone for a few more days to find this account being a total DOUCHEBAG about my post and several others concerning power scaling systems. (i had to unblock to figure out why so many people were having arguments in my replies and such, AND BOY WAS IT A MESS.)

Now usually I would love to have an in depth conversation with you concerning power systems.

BUT, that post? THAT my dude was a CRACK POST. it was meant to be fun and all bullshit. NOTHING SERIOUS!

AND saying CANON beats FANON always? DUDE, the whole phandom is crack bullshit and FANON. There is little CANON used in the DP Phandom at any given moment!

If you want to start your bullshit hating on people, GO TO FUCKING REDDIT. THIS IS TUMBLR, WE ARE CRINGEY AND FUCKING BULLSHITING ALL THE TIME.

STOP. YOU ARE NOT WELCOME OR NEEDED.

BLOCK US. BLOCK THE TAGS. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK, JUST LEAVE WRITERS AND CREATIVE PEOPLE BE FUCKING CREATIVE. EVEN IF ITS CRACKED UP BULLSHIT.

Now, yelling over. Reply to this post, comment, i dont give a flying fuck. I'll keep you unblocked to be able to see ur bullshit. BUT i encourage everyone in the DPxDC fandom to block this person and ignore them. Its obvious they want to hate on people becuase they themselves are full of hate and anger at something else.

I hope you figure out your life and bullshit dude. Really i do. Because right now your cowardly ass is fucking up everyone elses fun.

To my mutuals

I am so frustrated with this happening and being late to the party. Please just block this douchbag.

also @bonebrokebuddy i love the reply you gave me. Thank you for the conversation starter for power scaling and challenging stuff. im just tired of this guy shitting on everyones posts lately.

@stealingyourbones @bongo-clash @spacedace @britcision

[yelenabelovasbxtch]

Crush On An Archer PT.1

a/n: Hey! Omg long time no see! I kinda maybe lost interest in writing for a bit there but tbh I think I'm back. No promises because I don't want to promise and then break your hearts but also I realllyyyy enjoyed writing this and I hope you all enjoy reading it! Will def be making a part two in coming days so stay tuned. LMK if you want to be added to the taglist, I am going to put some tags of past taglists below just in case they are interested in reading :) ALSO! Special shout out to @scmg11 because their writing is honestly what made me wanna get back into it. So,,I hope you enjoy!

Kate X Fem!Reader

Concept: Reader has a crush on Kate (school/Uni setting) and she doesn't know how to tell her.

Warning: Cussing, mentions of smut, IM TRYING TO WRITE SLOW BURN BUT BEAR WITH ME ITS NEW!

Word Count: 2.7k

You��re a month into your summer vacation and things couldn’t be more…boring. You love and appreciate your parents dearly for putting out the money so that you could attend a prestigious school in New York with a kick ass archery team but does it ever suck to be this far from all your friends for four months. To make the situation work, your dad had to transfer jobs to another state that pulls in a little more money annually with slightly more affordable housing but that means you aren’t even near the people you grew up around. Rural Mississippi is a fairly big step from living in Boston. Boston at least had people, out here it’s like you’re lucky if you get to meet a neighbour because the land has us all so far apart. In all honesty, although it’s boring, you really have one specific reason for being so bummed out. Towards the end of your last semester, you got started getting closer with one of the girls a year younger on your team, Kate. Typically the older girls competed and practised together and the younger girls did the same. Although you two were only a year apart it’s just how things worked out, so you didn’t cross paths very often. However, one day you were walking home from class, stopped to get coffee and basically bumped into her. The meeting was really brief but it was enough to make you catch feelings almost instantly. 

Your interest in her grew as you followed her on Instagram and she followed back. Obviously you took a peak at her page and scrolled to the bottom laughing at the really cringey posts from 2015 she had still up. All you wanted to do was talk to her again but you didn’t know how, although she was a year younger than you she intimidated you so much. Her deep blue eyes were honestly enough to make you stutter whenever you had the chance to talk to her. A month had gone by already and you could not wait to get back to school so you could see her again. Luckily, coach has yearly “team-building” days before the season starts and they’re about half way through the summer so hopefully you can talk to her before then and maybe convince her to hang out when you come back to school. 

Over the next week or so you liked a few story posts that she’d upload every now and again but the day finally came where you felt like you could swipe up and respond to it…y’know…maybe spark a little conversation. 

“Damn Bishop, is this a new bow?” In response to a story post of her showing off some of her off season training. 

“Haha yeah it is, flips out and everything…it's really freakin’ cool.” She replied almost instantly and that made a giant warm smile come across your face. 

Shit– what do you say back? Your main goal was honestly to keep the convo going so you could subtly mention down the line hanging out with her. 

“Yeah that’s sick, wow I’d kill to try something like that out.”

“Well next time I see you, please by all means give it a shot” She replies back.

“Might just have to take you up on that. How’s your summer going anyways?”

“It’s alright, kind of boring though. All my friends from school move back home and I am working for my mom’s company over the summer so it all is just kind of dull. I miss going out and having fun. Wbu?”

“Yeah, I hear that. I am SO bored here. I would kill to fast forward to the fall, I miss being at school honestly. There’s only so much I can do by myself here during the summer.”

“Ugh right! I want it to be school again too but don’t get me wrong, I love the summer, the weather is great here recently and the nightlife is amazing too. I just have nobody to go with, you know.”

“Yeah I get it. Trust me, if I could be there to go out with you I would, there is definitely no nightlife here haha.”

Shit. That wasn’t too forward was it? She is taking a while to respond to you. She hasn’t even opened the message yet. 

*4 minutes later*

“Well, you’re going to be around for that team-building thing coach has us doing in a couple of weeks right?”

“Yeah, I should be.”

“Well, we can go out then if you want? Me and a few friends had plans but they’re all on the team and I’m sure they’d love to have you there too.”

“Yeah, that sounds great I’d love to!”

The conversation pretty much ended there and your contact with her was fairly limited, just a small comment here or there until you finally got to fly back to school for summer training. You settle back into the apartment you left a couple months ago, everything is still a mess where you left it but the kitchen and living room are even filthier since you are not around to clean up much after your roommates. You decided to wait until your team practice to talk to Kate about hanging out again. You didn’t want to come on too strong but also a small part of you feels like she forgot what she said months ago and you won’t end up seeing her, not outside of team stuff at least. 

You grabbed your gear and headed to the field where practice was being held. You saw some of your friends from last year and decided to catch up with them before coach pulled you all in to start practice. You were trying your best not to make it obvious but your eyes were tracking all around you looking for Kate but she was nowhere to be seen. 

*Whistle* “Okay team! Let’s bring it in. First, I just want to say thank you to everyone for making the effort to come back to campus for this, meeting I–”

“SORRY SORRY SORRY!” You hear the coach interrupted as footsteps are fast approaching the circle of archers. 

“Hi Kate.” Says coach.

“I am SO sorry. My driver was running late and then there was traffic because of a giant accident, I think there was some battle in the streets again, I don’t know, either way, my bad coach, won’t happen again…I promise.” She says with the most adorable grin that is absolutely saying she will be late again. 

“It’s alright Kate, it happens, I was just telling the team how thankful I am that everyone could make the trip back to campus for this.” Coach went on to talk about the drills you were doing for the day and man was it hard to not be in awe watching her. You tried your best not to stare all day because the last thing you wanted to do was make it obvious but fuck it felt impossible. The day came to an end and you packed up your gear, Kate was talking with the other seniors on the team as they were gathering their things and started to head out. You could feel your window closing to talk to her but interrupting her conversation with her friends and “inviting” yourself out with them just felt too weird and uncomfortable. If it wasn’t meant to be then it wasn’t meant to be but you would kill to be able to just spend an hour with her. 

You watched as she started to walk away towards the parking lot with her friends when all of a sudden she motioned for them to hold on a minute and she turned around and jogged over to you. 

“Hey y/n! Sorry we didn’t get to catch up much during practice, I saw your shooting though it’s looking good.” 

Yeah…your face is bright red. Control your shit. 

“Anyways, me and a couple friends are going out later tonight to a party that one of their friends is hosting. It’s like a Hawaiian beach summer nights themed type of party so if you have something like that to wear, that would be great.”

“Yeah, I might have something, I’ll take a look when I get home.” 

“Cool! I’ll text you the address once I get it off my friend and I’ll see you there?”

“Yeah, sounds good!” 

“Here, why don’t you put your number into my phone, I don’t like using DM’s that much.”

You take Kate’s phone out of her hand and fill out a contact for yourself, praying that she can’t hear your heart beating out of your chest. 

“Cool, thanks, I’ll send you a text in a bit.” She says with a smile and then runs off to re-join her friends. 

It seems silly sitting by your phone and literally watching the minutes tick by waiting for her to text you but that’s all  you could do. The anticipation felt like it was killing you. 

Your phone finally buzzed with a mystery number attached, “Hey y/n! It’s Kate. So…slight change of plans.”

Fuck. Is she bailing? Your eyes were glued on the three dots as she typed and you watched as they disappeared and reappeared. 

“Turns out the party is actually around the corner from my place so if you wanted to just come here first, we could pre-game and shit and then walk over together? My friends said they were going out to get their hair done so they’ll be running late.”

“Hey Kate, yeah no problem that works for me just send me your address and lmk what time you want me there.”

Kate dropped a pin of her location to you with the text attached telling you to come over at 7pm. 

7pm rolled around and you were already there outside but you kind of felt like you should wait another minute or two so you weren’t RIGHT on time. Or is it weird to be a minute late? But wouldn’t being on time be weirder? Whatever, you decided to just wait a minute and then knock on her door. 

Knocking on her door was the most nerve wracking thing you ever did, you were genuinely shitting bricks. 

“HEY! Come in come in!” Kate eagerly yells at you as she swings the door open. She’s wearing shorts with a bright purple bikini top and a button down Hawaiian shirt over top that doesn’t have a single button done up. Are you starring? Yes. Probably? Absolutely you are. 

“Make yourself at home, feel free to grab a drink from the fridge, my roommates are out of town and left all their alcohol so help yourself.” She said with a laugh. 

You heard that right? Her roommates are out of town. Just the two of you…you never know. 

You grabbed a drink from the fridge and took a seat on the couch next to her and yeah…the drink started going down faster than usual because of all the nerves in your stomach. The two of you made small talk for awhile but the conversation started flowing a little more naturally about 2 drinks in. Were you still kind of awkward as hell? Yeah…a little. But at least you warmed up to her a bit and weren’t acting so weird. About an hour later, her friends showed up and grabbed you guys to head over to the party. Honestly, things were going so well with just the two of you that you didn’t even want to go to this party but if it meant you got to spend more time with her then there you were. You got to the party and you honestly knew practically nobody. You weren’t exactly a social butterfly but Kate clearly was. She was talking to EVERYBODY. The boys at the party especially loved her. There was lots of laughing and flirting going on, you could feel the jealousy building but acting out was definitely not an option. You ended up socialising with a few of the other people at the party but for most of the night you stuck by Kate’s side, the two of you got pretty drunk together, pouring shots for one another and dancing in the pit of people to extremely loud music. There was a point where it felt like it was just you and her and nobody else was there while the music was blasting into your ears and the two of you were jumping together to the beat and singing out the lyrics to whatever song was on at the time. Kate got really close to you until some guy would come and pull her away in an attempt to make a move on her. Although, it never actually happened. Kate always ended up finding her way back to you. At one point she grabbed your hand and pulled you into the middle of the crowd as the two of you sang (screamed) the lyrics to “love story” into each other's faces. The party, as all do, started to simmer down. You guys actually ended up being some of the last people at the party, you stuck around to the point where the music was gone and most people were just sitting around chatting halfway sober. 

“Hey, I think I’m going to go home, I am super tired right now.” Kate says to you. 

“Okay, I’ll walk with you, I left my bag at your place anyways so I have to grab it.” 

“Right, sounds good.” 

Although the two of you had been singing and dancing for hours, she looked just as perfect as when you left and you were trying your hardest not to stare at her while the two of you were walking side-by-side. 

The walk back to her place was pretty quick, when the two of you got inside you went to grab your bag and get your things together. You were desperately trying to figure out what to say to her while you were organising your stuff. You didn’t want to come on too strong but you also want to make sure that she knows you had a good time…I guess just tell her exactly that?

“I had a really good time tonight, thanks again for inviting me.” You say as you’re leaning against the wall in her hallway. 

“Of course, anytime. And I did too. We should really hang out more when we come back to school.” She replies. 

Kate walks towards you and stops about a foot away leaning up against the doorframe to her bedroom. The hallway is super narrow and all you can think about is pinning her against the wall while you kiss down her neck and pull her tight by her waist. 

“Yeah I think so too. I guess I should probably head out.” You say as she looks at you with the softest eyes that you swore said “please stay”. You lingered for a second longer as the two of you were looking at each other, tired, kind of tipsy and on the verge of ripping each other's clothing off. All you wanted was for her to actually ask you to stay a little longer but before she had the chance you were already walking towards the door. 

“Have a good night y/n.” She says. “Text me when you get home safe.”

“I will. Sleep well Kate.” You reply as you turn to look at her with a smile and step out the front door. 

That goodbye felt different. It felt like there were still feelings in the air and lots that wanted to be said that wasn't. It felt like the perfect opportunity with nobody around after an amazing night together has passed but you regret none of it. Although you weren’t able to get a confirmation on whether or not Kate even likes women like you do, you knew there was definitely a type of tension between the two of you that she definitely noticed.

-- END OF PT 1 --

Taglist: @yelenaslyubov @youreatotalposer @jeyramarie @flosbelova @bridgecitybrad @justthis-stuff @chloe7076 @ailenepuff @ravenclawbitch426 @mellowladyangel @amcg0605-blog @kassies-take @yelenaswife1996 @wandanatchick @lilroachsworld @inluvwithfictionalwomen @x666hours @natashaswife4125 @onetruwhore @karmasgxrl @hopelesslyfallenninlove @setsuna1415 @swiftdazer @imobsessedwithmilfss @madamevirgo @louisprettybab @splatalia-jumpanova @jediluka @t00manyfand0ms

[starillusion13]

All About You

Pairing: Bike racer! Yeosang x f! reader

Genre: Racer Au, Yandere, Fluff, Angst.

W.C: 5.3k+

Warnings: Contains Yandere Themes (stalking, gaslighting, restraining acts, obsession, forced kiss, hints of kidnapping) illegal racing and using of sleeping pills. Jaemin is an asshole here but don’t hate him, I will gatekeep him after this.

Request from: @harmonie-writes

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @vvshere @yeoobin @anyamaris @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames

(This is perma taglist: if you want to be in then send me an ask ♡)

Note: Thanks for joining the event and loving my works. Reblogs and Reviews are highly appreciated ✌︎. I know I’m posting very slowly but If you had came across my other post and ask, I’m really in a messed up situation.

*under the cut*

“Dude, give me a quick ride to home please.”

“Get the hell out of my way!” Adjusting the helmet on his head, the annoyed face got hidden and the eyes visibly glaring at the opposite pleading boy.

“You never let anyone ride your bike but atleast you can have an exception for me as we are bestfriends for 8 years.”

The grinning boy blocking the way of the biker in every way possible and the accelerating sound was increasing in each turn of the grip. The biker’s gloved hand gripping the handle tightly with the anger building up in him for the annoying boy in front of him.

“Wooyoung, move aside. I told you to stay at home today but still you came here and now you get yourself something to get back home.”

“You are literally on your way back home which is apparently mine too but look at you abandoning a poor child like me on the streets in late night.”

“Stop with your cringey acts.”

“Yaaa please.”

Before the situation could make him lose his mind, he took a swift turn with his bike towards the left. He sped up which didn’t let the other boy a chance to prevent him from leaving.

The biker with some skilled techniques moved past the after-show crowd and the racing zone leaving behind a sulky boy. People who recognized him as the show champion had an admiring look on their face to which Wooyoung just rolled his eyes.

“I will see how long you will not let anyone to ride with you.”

With a growl of an engine, the bike swiftly zoomed out into the darkness of the highway.

————————

“Jaemin, please go away.”

“Not until you are accepting my offer.”

The said man had blocked your way with his two friends and the narrow alley with no other escape way was not helping your situation.

You gaze shifted to his two friends where one was leaning against his bike, eyes bored into his phone with bright light from the screen making him look like under a spotlight and the other one with a dirty smirk already staring at you. You shot him a glare and with the same expression, your attention turned towards the man in front of you.

“I don’t want to.”

“Why? We are best friends and we understand each other the most then why not? I love you Y/N.”

“Jaemin…Its so easy for you to say you love me and to say the same to others. We are no more friends and I don’t want to involve myself again in your life when you are just going to be an asshole like before.”

Jaemin’s jaw became tensed and he gripped the seat of his bike, nails digging into the leather before turning to his heels to go near to your form. You are feeling alarmed with his dark expression and thinking about all the worst possibilities of the current situation. His presence was only one foot away and his hands moved upward to grip your shoulders tightly to gain your attention on him. You didn’t let yourself to feel scared and entertain him so you returned him a daring look.

“I have left her for you and this time I will get you back no matter what.”

“No, you are not going to do anything stupid.”

He darkly chuckled and gripped your jaw. You were mentally wishing the ground to break apart and swallow him that instance so that you didn’t have to hear his nonsense anymore.

“Why are you not interested on me like other girls? If only I have showed a little bit of affection to any girl from your workplace, they would have been on their knees right now.”

The harshness in his tone was giving you an acute feeling that he was near to lose his mind.

“Then go to those girls. Why are you wasting your time on me?”

“I don’t want them but I want you.”

“Leave my way. Please go away from here. I don’t want to see you.”

You were wiggling in his hold and shouting at him and hoping anyone to hear you, atleast a stray dog should help you.

To your unfortune, not a single living being was there except some abandoned building and towering large trees. You were mentally scolding yourself to take that shortcut for home that late evening but you just wanted to get back home early as it’s not usual to get an early off from your work.

Now, who knew you would stumble on that stupid’s path who was chilling out with his friends after the illegal racing show.

“YA!!!!” A bike suddenly fell down and you could hear Heachan shouting at the person who caused the commotion while putting his phone back in the pocket which was his distraction all these times.

“What the fuck! Who are you and why did you hit his bike?”

You could hear Jeno’s angry voice but not able to see because of Jaemin’s muscular frame towering over you and blocking your way of vision. He was hawking at you for a pleasant reply from you.

“Jaemin, move aside and let me go.”

“No. Let them handle that. I will not let you go until you are accepting me.”

“She is telling you to go away then why are you being so persistent?”

OMG! The voice is so deep and attractive. Jaemin poked his tongue to the side and closed his eyes, clearly pissed off with this new guest. You tried to move away from him when his grip loosened on you but he quickly took a strong grip on your wrist and rolling his eyes, he turned around. You were standing beside him glaring on his hold and then boring your eyes to his side.

“Who are you?”

The centre of all attention was still on the bike and when you looked around, you could see Haechan’s bike lying on the floor, he was glaring towards this new biker and Jeno was looking between his friend and the new comer.

Mockingly, the new biker accelerated his engine and pointed his headlight towards Jaemin to which he shielded his eyes with his other hand. You wiggled under his hold but he held you tighter.

“Let her go.”

“Why will I listen to you? Who the fuck are you?”

The biker turned off the engine and parked the bike and dismounted from it. He took off his helmet and the leather gloved hand raised up to back brush his fluffy black long hairs. He casted a glance towards the other two near the fallen bike and then when he smirked towards them and returned his gaze towards both of you. His eyes travelled towards the grip on your wrist and with slow steps, he approached you.

AND GIRL! Being in such a terrible situation, you are fangirling over this new boy. His full outfit is in leathers and the well fitted attire was complimenting his body structure and you were sure that he had well built muscles under them. The moment he came near to you and then you could see how an angel looking being he is. His eyes were fixed on your hand and when you tried to pull it, he shot a glare towards Jaemin.

“Well, now you know me Jaemin.”

“You? What are you doing here? This is not your area and as far as I know, you had a competition today so just get the hell out of here.”

Letting out a chuckle, he looked around, “I cant see your name anywhere so as of public right I can be here right now.”

Turning towards both of you, he tilted his head with folded hands on his chest, waiting for the asked boy’s reply.

“Shut up. Just leave and let me solve her problem.”

“Her problem is you.”

“You don’t know anything.”

“Really?-”

“Please help me….”

Your pleading voice halted his argument with Jaemin and he casted you a glace, his eyes searching for emotions in your face and when a tear rolled down your eyes. His jaw clenched and he punched Jaemin to which he stumbled back and the grip on your wrist was gone.

“Hey!”

Both Jeno and Haechan ran towards their friend where the biker was maniacally laughing towards them. He signalled you to run behind him but when he saw your hesitation, he quickly pulled you towards him and hid you behind his frame. You were peeking to see how the other three were ready to jump on him.

“What the fuck dude? Are you out of your mind that you just punched him? You might have lost the competition and now you are showing off your frustration on us. You know you are already done when you hit Haechan’s bike.”

Jaemin wiped off his mouth when his other two friends ran beside him and shot the smirking boy a dangerous glare towards his way but he was just smiling in return.

“Jeno….” The way he called the name in a mocking way made you look towards his face as to examine him what he was upto and why he was helping you.

I guess he might be a true angel that he is helping you in that situation! Atleast now you can escape that asshole.

He added, “You know that I never lose anything. Whatever I set my eyes on, I get it no matter how difficult it would. I have my own ways. So, I want to help this girl here and it would be better if you just leave us here.”

“No way. Give her back to me.”

“Nah! She doesn’t want you and she asked me to help her and now I have to.”

“You-“

“Jaimin, stop. Let’s go. Taeyong is calling us back to the mansion right now. We can’t piss him off and even tell him what we were actually doing, he will ban you from coming here.”

 Yeosang titled his head on hearing Jeno’s explanation to his bestfriend and he sent a tight fake smile to them. All three of them glared towards him but he didn’t even pay attention to their deathly glares but he was holding your two hands and softly smiling down to you.

You could hear Haechan’s voice in the background whining for his bike and the others made him quiet and they started their bike and Jaemin was trying to get your attention when he accelerated the engine. You casted a glance towards him and then when he spoke up.

“I will get back to you someday again.”

Your heart was pounding inside on hearing his words but with a squeeze on your hand, you felt assured that this boy might help you again.

Is that even possible?

The three of them moved past you and quickly left the scene.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Of course for helping me. I don’t know how to escape him but thanks to you for approaching on time otherwise he could have taken me with himself.”

“Is he your boyfriend?”

“No.”

“Its okay. You needed help and to save a pretty girl like you is my duty.” He was staring to your hands which he was firmly holding in his palms.

“Excuse me. I need to leave now as it’s already getting so dark.”

“Do you have a ride to go to your home?”

“Umm….. no …. But I can manage by myself.”

Shaking his head, he started walking towards his bike and mounted it with a swift move. You were in awe with how his movements were like a professional racer. He might be also from illegal racing like Jaemin and his friends because they know each other.

“Please come here and let me take you to your place. I don’t want to leave a pretty one like you to wander around the streets alone at night.”

“Its okay. You don’t have to worry anymore.”

“I insist or I will feel guilty if anything happens to you today. Your day is already going bad on how you met him when you didn’t want to.”

You remained quiet while you looked around the empty and somewhat dark and lonely street to find any excuse but the way that boy was sweetly inviting you for a ride, you couldn’t help but to accept it as he was already so helpful and kind to lend a ride to a stranger.

“oh-okay.”

The ride to your home was quite comfortable as he was trying to not speed up too much to make you scared of the speed of a racing bike and also, he was picking up new interesting topics like about pets, your hobbies and all. Only you were the one who was mentioning about your parts but when you were asking his, the only reply you were given was ‘nothing’. But you got to know one thing that he loves chicken a lot and has a bestfriend with whom he lives.

You told him to drop you off at the turning of your colony but he asked for water so you hesitantly agreed to tell him the exact location as you were not comfortable sharing your address with this stranger. Arriving to your place, you quickly went inside and locked the door to bring a bottle of water along with you to go and meet him at your main gate.

“Here, you can take this.”

“Are you scared of me?”

“Huh? Oh no, its just I don’t know you so….like I cant invite you inside. I’m sorry to treat you like this after you helped me today but-“

“I know. A pretty girl like you should feel like this and you should always be cautious of your surroundings. Anyways, thanks for this Y/N.” he waved the bottle to you.

“ah its okay. This is nothing.” You both laughed lightly but then it hit you how did he know your name. “You know my name?”

“I heard him that time. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

His face became a bit worried so you just gave him a smile for assurance that he did nothing wrong.

The street in front of your place is quite bright compared to where you both met so when he took off his helmet to drink the water, you noticed how he had a birthmark beside his left eye but still that was not enough to ruin his perfect angelic look with starry eyes.

“No no It’s fine. Just I don’t know your name.”

“Yeosang. Kang Yeosang. Remember my name, you will need to scream it in future.”

“Huh?”

“If you ever go to my shows then for cheering for me, you gotta need it.”

You chuckled on his explanation of the last sentence but quickly smiled hearing that the angel like human had a nice name.

“Thank you yeosang. I owe you for this ride.”

“Can I ask you for one thing?’

You didn’t expect him to reply so fast but you just nodded.

“Can we exchange numbers to become friends?”

“But Yeosang, I don’t know you.”

“You didn’t even know your colleagues before joining the office but you gradually know everything about them.”

“That’s different.”

“We will be same like them but our friendship will be different. Please.”

You hesitated for a moment before casting a glance to him and agreed on his request. You didn’t even know why you were entertaining all his requests but his presence and his attitude towards you was very promising.

You both did your goodbyes to each other and went away in your own way.

——————————————-

After that you never met jaemin or even if you came across any of his friend’s way then instead of them smirking at you or giving you dirty looks. They avoided your gaze and pretended as if they don’t know you or your presence was not there. Weird. Maybe they have given up on you and Jaemin would not continue his dirty games to get you or make you his friend again.

One day, You got a call from yeosang and invited you on his racing show but you had never been to such shows so you tried to decline his offer but he didn’t let his request to go in vain. He even sent you two tickets for the show to bring a friend along with you if you were feeling uncomfortable going alone. Wow! He is such a thoughtful person.

“Hello! Y/N. So are we going to meet today?”

“Yes, I will reach there on time.”

“I’m looking forward to our first meet.”

You both joked with each other over the call before ending it.

When you reached the show on the day, you could see Yeosang was leaning against a car and his focus was on the phone in his hand. When he looked up, his eyes sparkled to see you but the expression changed a bit on noticing the person beside you, who was your schoolfriend and you requested him to tag along with you as he was also interested in such shows.

The show went pretty much nice. You wished him best of his luck for the race to which he replied, “ I always win what I want.”

After his round, he was sitting beside you and putting up different topics and also explaining you about the show. He didn’t even bother to introduce himself to your friend.

When returning back home, Yeosang again offered you a ride so your friend had to go alone.

Many weeks had passed after the day of the show. You again went to many of his shows where you didn’t anymore need to tag along a friend and Yeosang was also does not like to see your other friends.

He often told you, “I want our friendship to be private. I don’t like when your other friends try to intervene our meets.”

Seeing his cute little pout everytime whenever he complained, so you agreed to go there alone. As you had already became so close friends so you kinda started to feel safe around him.

He started to ask everyday whether you need something or not. He often called you out for friendship dates. Whenever you gave him any excuses to let down his invitation. You would find him from your balcony down waving at you from the side of the street.

So, either two of you end up having movie night at your place or after having dinner to any fancy restaurant, he would take you to his place.

He never tried to cross his boundaries or do something which could offend you. You were quite enjoying his company every day. You never had any close friends like this but you had Jaemin as your bestfriend who suddenly became a dick after you both passed out high school and since then he is no more your old best friend.

You started to share everything with yeosang. He was always there waiting with a soft smile on his face to hear your ramblings.

You sometimes felt bizarre that he liked your miserable conditions when you were disappointed on others and show your weakness towards him. But you brushed off the feeling when you thought he was the only one who would listen to you without any judgements.

With passing days, you were becoming more reliable on yeosang. He always waited outside of your office to pick you and give you a long ride before dropping you at your home. He sometimes stayed at your place when you offered a delicious recipe for the dinner. He even started to come early mornings to take you to your workplace. He sometimes popped out of nowhere if you are hanging out with your friends or you are just wandering around the cities alone.

Sometimes you were feeling of being always watched and him always appearing in front of you started to make you a feel aware that he was always invading your privacy. And maybe that was what he wanted.

Maybe, he was waiting for a perfect chance to show his actual self to you, his actual motive to you. To get you for himself.

———————————

“Yeosang, where is this route going? This is neither to your apartment nor mine.”

He was humming a song and paused on hearing your question. Giving you five seconds of silence, he again started to hum that song which you had recommended him on the first day of your meet. He sped up and to the impact you clutched his leather jacket tightly.

You always loved riding his bike. The cool breeze hit your face and your hairs flow with the wind. The speed make your all worry fly away and you feel like an independent bird wandering around the sky on her own melody.

But this speed was not giving you the but anxiety.

“Please slow down. You are too fast.”

“You don’t know how fast I can be in some other ways.”

“What are you even saying? Slow down.”

You were closing your eyes tightly due to the impact of speed and your grip on his jacket was turning your knuckles white.

Today. Yeosang was a bit too energetic and was treating you too well. He offered you breakfast to your favourite place before reaching your workplace then he invited you to your favourite lunch place during break and after picking you up from the office, you both had your dinner at a luxury restaurant. When you both were returning home, he took a different route and then when you started feel anxious.

Suddenly, he stopped on his track and you bumped to his back. You quickly got down and eyes busy observing the surrounding. The place was quite dark and silent. In front of you was a white mansion and to your surroundings, you could see only bushes and dark voids.

“Yeosang where are we?”

“Home.”

He gripped your hand and pulled you towards the entrance. Your hesitance self and confused mind not getting the hold of the situation properly.

“Where are we going? What is this this place?”

“Hold on Y/N. You will get your answer.”

Reaching the door, he sent you an admiring smile to your way and his eyes sparkling with stars in it. The soft look on his face and his deep voice were just contrasting each other. Similarly, his sweet smile and his tight grip on your wrist contrasted in action.

When he pushed the door open, he quickly closed your eyes with his hands.

“Step forward Y/N. Welcome to my home.”

Your hands moved upward to place it on top of his and your heart beating furiously in the anticipation of danger.

“Yeosang….”

“Yes pretty?”

He let go of his hand and your eyes took a moment to get adjusted to the new environment and then when you noticed the whole living area of the mansion was decorated with your favorite flowers, your pictures and the aroma in the air was your favorite too. In the middle of the room, there was a hanging rolling poster with something written on it. Your slow steps took you close to it while eyes busy observing the surroundings and then you could read.

‘WILL YOU BE MINE Y/N?’

‘I LOVE YOU.’

Your eyes went wide and you turned on your heels to face him. In return, he was smiling at you with admiration and amusement in his eyes.

“What is this yeosang?”

“What? Don’t you like it?”

“Why?”

“I love you Y/N.”

“But I don’t.”

Yeosang’s admiring eyes turned dark and his soft smiling face froze into a serious look. You got scared on his sudden change. His black boots hitting the marble floor echoed around the big silent room decorated with only you.

‘Everything was your favorite. Everything had you in it. Everything was reflecting you. Everything was all about you. Everything was you.’

“Why?”

Now it was his turn asking you for a reply.

“Look this so pretty-“

“Just like you.”

“I liked it-”

“I like you.”

“But I don’t want this-“

“And I want you.”

“Yeosang….”

“Yes, my pretty Y/N?”

His eyes were lost in admiring you and flicking his gaze between your lips and eyes. His grip on your shoulder moved down to hold your hands and he brought them near his lips to give them soft kiss on the knuckles. You tried to retreat your hands but he gave you a dangerous look.

“Let me speak Yeosang. Don’t cut me off. Listen to me.”

“I’m always listening to you.”

“Why are you doing this? To get me? Please don’t get your hopes high like this but am really not interested on these stuffs.”

“Not interested?”

“I never thought about you like this. I always treated you like my close friend whom I considered as my new family. But this. I didn’t expect this from you.”

“I treated you more than that. I treated you as my only one.”

“Yeosang. Everything does not work like that. You have to know other’s feeling as well before confessing something like this. Give them time to know each other. It takes time to develop feelings for others. Maybe sometimes others can’t return you the same feelings in the end.”

“Y/N!”

His demeanor was unreadable when he frustratedly shuffled his thick black hairs. You could see tears pooling in his eyes. You never saw him crying but he did. You were always so vulnerable some days and then his comfort and sweet talk had made you voice out your weariness after having an overwhelming day. Your heart ached on seeing him like that.

“Yeosang…”

“Am I not the one for you? Y-you don’t love me back…. You don’t care about me…Why?”

“Yeosang. Calm down please. Take deep breaths.”

He was hiccupping and choking on his own tears. He was acting weirdly. You were scared with his appearance but still you were trying to ease him. Maybe he cant take rejections well. You would try your best to make him understand and comfort him in such situation.

“I love you Y/N.”

“Yes you love me. I appreciate that you love me but I cant accept your love. I love you too Yeosang but just as a friend. Please try to understand we have nothing in between us.”

You both were sitting on the sofa and your body turned towards him, one hand patting his back and other resting on top of his hand placed on his knee.

“If you really appreciate it then why cant you accept it?”

“I did not mean that.”

“Then what? Was it all lie? You liked everything I did for you. You said I am the only one in your life and No one compares to me. Then why? Where am I lacking behind?”

“I didn’t mean like that.”

He suddenly twisted to your side and cupped your face between his soft hands. Your tears were threating to fall down while seeing him so broken but you had to make him understand that what he was thinking was not appropriate. His teary eyes looking down at you and he gave you a sad smile. You mimicked his action. His thumb brushed your lower lip. Your hands moved upward to grip his wrist softly.

“Please love me Y/N. Please let me show you how much I love you.”

“You have done enough for me. Yeosang, I really loved every moment I had spent with you but this is something I cant accept. Please try to understand.”

“No no you are saying this because I haven’t done enough or you are thinking am not capable of.”

“No. I didn’t-“

“You think I’m only a bike racer and not capable enough for your desires but let me clear you. I’m one of the top 10 wealthiest businessman of this state. I can give you everything. You are special to me. You know one more thing?”

“…..What?”

You were shocked to know that he was a businessman. Its not like you were going to accept him on hearing he was hella rich but you just didn’t expect. Maybe you did a little when you were on your dates with him to various luxury places. But You always accepted him as a best friend in your life but never more than that.

“I even let you ride my bike. Not even once or twice but every time, we went somewhere I took you on a long ride and even today. I never let anyone to ride it as it is my precious last gift from my mother.”

“why me?”

“I knew that day when I saw you, jaemin harassing you on the streets. The way, pleads rolled out from your mouth. Your whimpers when you were wiggling yourself out of his hold and your teary eyes looking at me begging for help. I knew it that you were the one for me and I always need you to be like that to me and under me.”

“What are you saying Yeosang?”

“I am saying that please let me show you how much I love you.”

“No-“

Before you could speak any further, he smashed his lips against yours. His one hand moved from your jaw to back of your head and other holding your hands down. You are trying everything possible to get out of it but your fighting back was nothing against his muscular strong grip. His lips were crashing against you, there was a desperation in the kiss as if he had to prove anything. Well, he had to. He had to prove how much he loves you. But you don’t want it then why?

He bit your lower lip and you gasped when his tongue entered the new space and explored your mouth as if he would suck everything from your inside . His lips shining with mixture of yours and his saliva moved from the lips to jaw and was leaving trailing wet kisses down to your exposed neck due the thin strip a-line dress.

“Please….stop…”

He halted and retreat himself to look at you. Your smudge lipstick to the side of your lips ending on your cheeks. His thumb brushed over the lining of your closed eyes to wipe off the tears.

“Why are you crying?”

“Please…I don’t want this…”

“I don’t want this too. I want us to be happy but not crying like this. I want a family where it will be only you and me and maybe our future little one running around here.”

“No. It cant be possible.”

“Everything is possible if you let it happen.”

Your crying state was suddenly engulfed in a warm hug. You wanted to push him away but his hug had the same comfort like other times. He was soothing your back and kissing on your head. You clutched his jacket and was sobbing. Maybe this could melt his heart and then he would let you go.

“Its okay Y/N. We can do this together.”

“No! There is no you and me together in this world.”

“let me bring you some water and then you can relax and think properly. You are not on your right mind right now.”

“I am thinking everything properly. I’m in my right mind. The only one who is not trying to understand is you.”

Your words were ignored by him when he went into the kitchen to bring you water. You looked around to see your pictures and all the times you both had spent together.

Every smile on the pictures seemed like were mocking at your situation. If only you knew back then the times you were spending with that demon inside an angel, which you were thinking as the most memorable one would turn out as the nightmares of your life.

“here drink this.”

You were drinking the water while looking at some particular pictures.

You didn’t meet him those days.

You never wore that dress outside.

You didn’t go to that place with him.

Then how?

You chugged down the water and placed the glass on the table. With quick steps, you rushed to see every picture on that wall. How come these pictures are here?

“how do you got these pictures?”

“Aren’t you looking pretty? I get what I want.”

“I need to go.”

When you turned on your heels, you felt dizzy. Your vision was getting blurred. You realized someone took a hold of your weak frame and as if you were floating.

“take some rest. It was too much for you. We can continue later.”

“No.”

“Shhh….”

“I..want to…go…Yeosang..”

Your eyes closed and with your lips parted you seemed like you had so much to say, so much to explain but you couldn’t.

“If you go away. I will be lonely again. You will be lonely again.”

He kissed your lips and temple while holding you in bridal style.

“My life is all about you Y/N.”

My Yeosang and Jaemin are really innocent. Please don’t hate them. My two precious angels.😭

[syrstab]

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ SUNSET SPOTTING!

a/n : hi so this isnt my best piece of work, i js felt like i needed 2 post :P (also, im REALLY shit at writing furina + neuvillette, i js wanted to try writing them, sorry if its inaccurate :( +THE BEGINNING IS HARD TO READ LIKE I HATE IT SM ARRRGHHH - i reread this and i found it MAD cringey sooo..

SUMMARY - basically you and furina suggested to neuvillette to go out in public. of course neuvillette was a busy man, but he just has to make time for you. ( also watching the sunset :> )

you and furina were catching up over some tea, as you two rarely saw each other as you were both so busy with work.

“hey furina..”

“yes y/n?” furina looked up, her bright blue eyes meeting yours, taking a sip of her tea

“you, me and my darling neuvillette should go out today.” you say proudly, as if all three of you would go out together. it’s always just been you and furina.

furina giggled when you called neuvillette your 'darling' and took another sip of her tea whilst looking around. “your absolutely obsessed with neuvillette, y/n. I personally find it adorable how you gush over him twenty-four seven , but, i highly doubt all three of us would go out. neuvillette is practically drowning in work…”

you pursed your lips, as if you really thought about it

“just you watch furina, all three of us WILL go out together!” you say with a smug smirk, getting out of your chair.

“y/n, y/n, y/n…” furina sighed putting her tea down and following you.

you proudly walked to neuvillettes office, where of course, he’s doing boring documents and signing papers.

“how’s my gorgeous, cunning, sexy, handsome, beautiful, iconic, courageous boyfriend THE neuvillette doing?” you beam whilst opening the door, furina trailing behind you

“well, hello to you too, y/n.” neuvillette smiles. he knew you were going to ask him for something, as you don’t usually call him those lovey-dovey names. at least, not all together.

“i have a teeny, tiny itzy bitzy request for you.” you grin, furina facepalming knowing damn well this whole 'going out together' thing isn’t going to happen and it’s just going to be you and furina, again.

“go on, my love.” neuvillette stops writing and places his quill down, then interlocking his fingers together like some sort of ceo, i mean he is chief justice of fontaine..

“sooo… i was wondering if you could stop working for an hour or two, to go out in public to clear our minds? we both know how stressed out you’ve been recently.” you furrowed your brows at that last comment, attempting to persuade him to stop working

he purses his lips, glancing at the window in his office “mmm… as much as i want too, i simply cannot. i’m sure furina told you about how much work i’m doing.”

“pretty pleaaaaseeeeee neuuuuuvi?” neuvillette knew you were the type to try to get anyone do anything for you, and the fact you added his adorable nickname you made for him, he REALLY thought about it.

“come on y/n, maybe just us TWO should go out together. let’s LEAVE this poor man alone.” furina says, adjusting her little top hat on her head, attempting to egg you on with the comment she just made

“you’re SO right furina!! we should DEFINITELY go out together, WITHOUT the chief justice of Fontaine!!” you and furina turned around, backs facing neuvillette, arm in arm, smiling at eachother

“have fun, you two. don’t get into too much trouble.” neuvillette waved you and furina off, your mouth agape as neuvi said this. was this man REALLY being serious?

“uggghhhhhhh please neuvi? just for an hour! pretty please with a cherry on top?” you turned around, and at this point you were properly begging for this man, and neuvi took notice of your whiny voice

furina chuckled at how desperate you were for him to go out. neuvillette usually kept himself out of the public eye, unless you dragged him outside.

you grasped neuvillette’s hand, pulling him outside his office. “you can do those shitty documents later, the suns about to set.. and there’s nothing like watching the sunset with my lovely boyfriend!” you gleamed at neuvi, furina leading you outside to the nearest aquabus station she could find.

you found yourself on the aquabus which Aeval was always on, and you, furina and neuvillette stroke up a conversation with her. you weren’t talking about anything specific, just whatever came to mind.

after a while, you came to romaritime harbor. there weren’t many people there, as it was getting late.

“you don’t have to act all tough and regal, neuvi.” you nudged him lightly, as it seemed he was holding a lot of weight on his shoulders, after all, he is a very important man.

“i suppose so. there isn’t many civilians around today..” neuvillette huffed, dropping his shoulders ever so slightly

“awwh, what cuties you two are…” furina giggled to herself as the three of you walked towards the edge of the balcony

the sun was setting behind sumeru’s desert mountains, and everything felt perfect.

you stood in between furina and neuvillette, staring out whilst your head rested on neuvillette’s shoulder. there was a comfortable silence in the air.

“i love you, neuvillette.”

“i love you too, y/n.”

“...aaaaaaand BOOM! you get married to eachother, have kids and live happily ever after.” furina smirked, knowing you’d blush at the thought of getting married to the iudex himself,  neuvillette.

“oh shush, furina.” you waved her off, one hand covering your cheeks as they were painted a rosy pink

“…i would like that.” neuvillette says, looking at the painted sky

“...like what?” you asked, looking up at him

“i would like to get married to you, and have children with you.” neuvi looked down at you, making eye contact

“i would like that, too.” you smiled at him.

“ooooooooooooooh~” furina says in a high pitched voice, leaning forwards

“oh shut up, furina!” you and neuvillette groaned in unison, and once you both realised you said that at the exact same time, you all started laughing together.

[ivylation]

Love in Chaos (Carlos Olivera x Reader)

Tws- mentions of blood

2nd post, hope you enjoy <3 ill be writing alot carlos in the future so lmk whatd you want you want to see with him !!

-----

You and Carlos both faced the dangers of Raccoon City side by side, Carlos's confident flirtatious tendencies and your quiet self created an almost movie like relationship. He would throw cringey pickup lines your way, met with bright red faces, small giggles, and occasional eye rolls at his worst lines. Amidst the chaos he never stops throwing jokes at you, he lives to see you smile, you just didn't know that.

One evening, as the setting sun painted the broken skyline in hues of orange and pink, you and Carlos found yourselves on the rooftop of an abandoned building. The air is thick with smoke and an almost calming sensation, which is rare in the chaos filled time.

Carlos, true to his nature, leaned in with an exaggerated flourish. "You know," he began, both gazes kept locked on the setting sun in front of you both. “You look really cute today” you turn to him caught off guard by the sudden compliment,  “you say that everyday” you roll your eyes, ears pink. Carlos still looking at they sky, his dark shaggy hair blowing in the soft breeze. “Thats because youre cute everyday” he shrugs and turns his head to look down at you. “Bullshit” you smile softly “im covered with mud and blood” you look down at your bruised body thats full of a mix of yours and the victims of your knife.

His gaze softens as he takes in the sight of you. "Even with the mud and blood, you manage to be the most captivating thing in this city," he says, his tone sincere. Carlos reaches over, brushing a strand of hair from your face with a gentle touch. You always assumed he was joking but something felt different this time,the look in his eyes, he was being serious. 

You gained a small crush on the large man over the weeks of being together, how could you not? He had dark eyes that seemed to only soften on you, he was funny, determined and kind and holy shit was he hot. His large arms as he held his gun to fight off the zombies that suddenly caught you off guard, his pretty skin that is coated with shine due to the fires. His large hands as they gripped your wrists to pull you out of dangers way. He was hot. Like really hot.

You never pursued the crush and pushed it out of your mind as there was a literal zombie apocalypse happening and there was no time for a silly little crush. That was hard when you see the man everyday.  

You can't help but blush at his words, a mixture of embarrassment and appreciation filling your chest. The apocalypse had left its mark on both of you, physically and emotionally, yet Carlos's unrelenting flattery remained a constant; it made you feel validated and loved even when you're at your lowest of lows.

"I mean it," he continues, his eyes tracing the contours of your face. "You're like a survivor goddess amidst all this chaos. Mud and blood included."

You chuckle, couldn't help but cringe a little  at his use of words, still a bit bashful under his gaze. "Survivor goddess, huh? I'm not sure about that."

Carlos nudges you playfully. "Oh, absolutely. You fight off zombies and still manage to look adorable. It's a rare talent."

You shake your head, smiling at his antics. "Well, if I'm a survivor goddess, you're the charming rogue who keeps distracting me with compliments."

He grins, leaning in once more, this time planting a soft kiss on your lips. "Guilty as charged," he whispers, his breath warm against your ear. You just stared at him, taken aback, your face bright red and hot. You knew there was no passing over this crush. 

 As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow over the broken city, you couldn't help but feel a sense of warmth in your heart. In the midst of the apocalypse, amidst mud, blood, and chaos, there was an unexpected connection that transcended the grim reality--one Carlos Olivera himself created.

_____

[eerna]

eerna what's going on in s3 bridgerton your posts and answers making me scared to watch on my life lmao

pls don't hate me, Colin lovers, but I was told by a friend who read the series that he's more fun and chill in the books and also i just....find Polin from even s1 is kinda uhhhhh?awkward?? cuz he's kind of unnecessarily serious and so not chill in the previous seasons?? maybe i don't see his appeal because I'm no Penny but i do not see his appeal in the show

so rn i haven't even watched it and seeing your posts is making me moreeeeeee 😶‍🌫️ it's okay give us the cringey details

Nsbysbbsb NO WORRIES!!! I have a weirdly big amount to say about this show bc I am no longer suffering as much as I did in s1 and 2. Prepare for an essay on my feelings on Polin and thank you for enabling me.

Ok so Colin. Not saying your friend is wrong bc I didn't read the book, but p much everyone I saw talking about it said Colin was very angry and aggressive in it, and for NO REASON since he's supposed to be the "calm brother". I'm glad that the show let him get upset, but never the way he was in the books/Anthony was in s2, where I legit worried about Kate's safety sometimes. Colin was my fav Bridgerton brother bc he was totally different from all the other men on the show, calm and silly and romantic.

Thar being said!!! I never ever thought of him as a GOOD love interest, and s3 only made it worse. First off, yeah, s1 and 2 do NOT show him and Pen as friends nearly enough to warrant the speed of their connection in s3. I blocked s2 from my memory bc I hated it So Damn Much so I can't 100% stand behind my words, but I don't really remember many friendly scenes with the two of them that didn't feel like he was just entertaining his sister's bestie? I remember he once danced with her, and he sent her letters from his travels, and that's it. Then in s3 we are supposed to believe Pen knows him soooo well, she sees through his tricks when no one else does, he can't stand losing her friendship when she stops talking to him. How, when the impression I got from their relationship was "oh she is clearly silly in love and he doesn't care about her enough to notice"!!!

And s3... Oh boy. Colin gets his "glowup" and becomes a rake bc Bridgerton writers would probably spontaneously combust if they wrote a virgin male lead. We see him flirt and smash other women and it is always so so so awkward. I've seen people trying to rationalize it as "Oh he is supposed to be pretending, oh we are supposed to find it cringe" but NO, he is objectified the exact same way Simon and Anthony were, and we as the audience are supposes to think it is sexy. To be fair, Pen finds it concerning but I think that has more to do with the amount of silly, vapid women constantly swarming around him. So now we are even FURTHER away from seeing any reasons why the two of them would be friends. And then we get hit with the "Colin teaches Pen how to find a husband" plot, and oh my god it is so bad, IT IS SO BAD, they have like 2 lessons across 1 episode before they are busted and stop and he literally taught her NOTHING she IGNORED HIS ADVICE AND FIGURED IT OUT BY HERSELF but everyone treats him like a war hero for taking one for the team and teaching the poor unlikeable social reject how to act. We also have the stupid scene where she is criyng begging him to kiss her because she is convinced otherwise she would die without being kissed, and he is trying to elegantly avoid it, and oh my god, I hated this, it is framed as cute and romantic but it is so uncomfortable and bad. AAAAAAAA. Anyway. Then there is this hilariously horrible incident where he saves her from a feral balloon, and if you are wondering wtf am I talking about, its because it is really bad and written like a Scary Movie slasher scene. There are exactly 3 moments that I liked, and ALL of them were bc Colin seemed very lost and desperate. First was when Pen told him they should stay away from each other after the scandal of them hanging out came out (which I liked bc if it were any other girl, some unhinged character would force them to marry, but since it was Pen they were like "Well obviously it's true there was nothing untowards happening it is just cringe haha loserrr"), and he looked like he stopped comprehending English. The second was when he was confessing his feelings, he got on his knees and looked like he was about to cry and I thought that was sweet! Well, he did mention torture which is a very ugly word to use in such a speech, but whatever. The third was after the Infamous Carriage Scene when he says something silly and the two giggle together and I was like PLEASE WHERE WAS THIS ENERGY IN S1 AND 2!!

And may I just say!! The actual Bridgerton Glowup one was PEN and NOT COLIN. In s1 and 2 you could tell she was pretty, but in s3 they made her so damn beautiful that my friends and I would go "Oh wow" several times per episode. And it's not only the clothes, they would put her in rooms where she pops out and sparkles and frame her in shots just perfectly. Idk why they only gave her 1 alternate love interest and then shot her Like That, there should have been at LEAST one more guy following in Debling's trail. Now she's the hot one in the relationship so I can't buy her desperation for Colin's approval or society's perception of Colin as a charity in any way.

With all that said. I think this is the best season of Bridgerton proper. It still isn't something I'd enjoy unironically, but at least it is neither a horrible age gap dynamic feat. SA nor a horrible disgusting juggling of sisters feat. murderer vibes. The only thing I'd say is worse than it used to be is the clothes, which are slowly creeping towards The Reign level of ahistorical and bad.

[absolutebl]

10 High Quality & Cinematic BLs

Ones that are very well made with a tight narrative and no cringey dialogue. For example: Old Fashion Cupcake or His. Japan knows what tf it’s doing, okay? You don’t come from a tradition that gave us Kurosawa and fail at broad scope cinematography. 

High Quality & Cinematic BLs + Comfort & Joy 

These are the ones that I love even though they’re artsy, but they also end happily and didn’t hurt me too much.

1. Old Fashion Cupcake 

(Japan 2022 Viki)

This show had me from the moment they broke the egg yolk with the chopsticks in the opening credits for episode one. It’s about a younger man with a long cherished crush on his boss (ten years older and going through a mid life crisis) who decides to save and seduce said man with pancakes. It’s wholesome, comforting, sexy, and a very necessary narrative about still having hope, interests, and openness to affection at any age. It’s coming of age/queerness packaged in a subtle critique of expectations around masculinity and love and loneliness... and it’s beautiful. Full review.

2. Restart After Come Back Home 

AKA Risutato wa tadaima no ato de (Japan 2020 grey)

Atmospheric study in rural Japan meets complex family dynamics built on a romance framework of city boy meets country boy. It’s beautiful and icy sweet. Slow moving in places but ultimately worth your patience. Full review here.

3. Life: Love on the Line 

AKA Life Senjou no Bokura (Japan 2020 Viki) 

This is a beautiful movie and a good BL, if a bit adult and gut wrenching at times. Goes through young love, break up, and reunion - but it’s actually a saga of self acceptance. You want the director’s cut. Like His, LLOTL is an exploration of suppression and the limits we impose on ourselves when we’re dishonest about who we love. In high school, serious and self contained Ito fell in love with Nishi, the manic pixie dream boy of the dream he didn’t know he had. Nishi, emotionally and mentally fragile, struggled to fit into the world. Ito, however, found it all too easy, except for the whole - ya know - gay thing. This movie is about Ito’s willingness to sacrifice not just himself but his love (and even Nishi himself) to social and familial expectations and the misery that results. It has a hard fought happy ending that then follows them through the rest of their lives in a (slightly unnecessary but welcome) epilogue montage.

4. A Tale of Thousand Stars 

(Thai 2021 GMMTV YouTube)

With great casting and cinematography this drama nods at BL tropes but manages to elevate them (and itself) with a strong mature story concept about a spoiled rich kid who gets a heart transplant and becomes a teacher it order to pay out survivor’s guilt. On the way he falls in love with a local park ranger and contends with his own classism and escapist tendencies. Everyone seemed to perfectly suit their roles and GMMTV made the most out of its stable. Combined with excellent production (and post production) values, 1000 Stars is without question GMMTV’s most mature, charming, and smart BL series. I think it should go down as one of the top BLs of all time. I feel safe recommending this one to friends and non BL watchers.

High Quality & Cinematic BLs + Work & Angst 

These are ones that I watched but were really difficult for me for personal reasons. Some may not have happy endings. I tend to call these moody arthouse smackdoodle. They like to pretend that "ambiguous" is somehow unique and special rather than bog standard commonplace for narratives of this type. Hold onto your psyche, these dramas will test you. But they very well done. 

5. His the movie 

(Japan 2020 Viki)

His is about being a grown adult and still struggling with coming out as gay. It addresses the consequences of life choices disingenuous to identity. Nagisa turns up on Shun’s doorstep with his precocious daughter in tow. This is a touch confusing to Shun since they were each others first love. Shun has retreated from society, rejecting the world before it can reject him, already brokenhearted because without Nagisa he never had a reason to fight. Nagisa went the opposite way, tried to pretend to be something he was not and ended up with a daughter he adores and a wife who hates him. This movie is beautiful and the setting is unique and interesting but I'm not wild about the ending.

6. I Told Sunset About You 

(Thai 2020 grey) 

I don’t have a ton to say about ITSAY because I’ve never managed to finished it. This one was too close to my own queer journey and it seriously messed with my head about 2/3 of the way through, so I stopped watching to protect myself. However, I can tell you that the production values are unreal for Thailand, using a soft lens, diffuse lighting, and a nostalgic atmosphere, paying close attention to framing, and forgetting neither background nor close-focus expressive detail. It’s a remarkable piece of work. I caught no mistakes in makeup, wardrobe, body positioning, reflection, or boom mic placement - so they clearly had continuity eyeballs during filming and on final product (which most Thai BLs don’t spring for). So yeah, the filming, directing, and acting is insanly good, but what’s really stand out in ITSAY from a film perspective is their smooth as butter invisibly perfect editing. Post production on this series must have been a BEAST.

7. Your Name Engraved Herein

(Taiwan 2020 Netflix)

This movie is fantastic but it is also seriously depressing, it’s a self acceptance journey, but if you wanna wallow in high quality acting and serious gay drama, this’ll do it. 

8. Goodbye Mother AKA Thua Me Con D 

(Vietnam 2019 Netflix)

Like YNEH or Dew, this is a great movie but it deals openly with homophobia, bashing, family trauma, and social acceptance. 

9. His the series 

AKA His - Koisuru Tsumori Nante Nakatta AKA I Didn’t Think I Would Fall In Love

(Japan 2019)

Boy goes to visit his absent father, ends up kinda homeless on the beach, gets adopted by local family, falls in love with the boy working and living with them. Lots of long drawn out glances. 

10. I Want to See Only You

AKA Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai (Japan 2022 grey)

This is a beautiful piece of cinema well acted, about two boys who are opposite personalities and grew up together. Gifted and serious Sakura (Kura Yuki from His the series) and outgoing eccentric manic pixie dream boy, Yuma. It is very pretty and this is the kind of atmospheric elegantly performed BL that only really comes from Japan (complete with dead fish kisses - what you though Korea invented them? oh no). For me it was lovely but slightly unmemorable. Full review here. 

More Like This From Japan 

The Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese AKA Kyuso wa Chizu no Yume wo Miru (Japan 2020) - obsession, cheating, breakup, reunion, then break up again, explicit.

Does the Flower Bloom? (Japan 2018) - May/December romance about an artist student, the house he inherits from his dead parents. and all the people around him who are obsessed with him, including an older man.

Junjou: Pure Heart (Japan 2010) - I shoudl probably rewatch this one, it’s been a while. 

Silhouette of Your Voice AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan 2017) - It’s not as good as any of us wanted given the beautiful glory of the original manga (I Hear the Sunspot). Also it doesn’t really end happily. Disappointing. 

Eternal Yesterday AKA Eien no Kino (Japan 2022 Gaga) - After Mitsuru’s cheerful outgoing boyfriend Koichi is killed but stay’s walking around, everyone else begins to forget about him. Mitsuru recalls their romance while trying to understand what’s going on, hold onto his love, and come to terms with loss and identity. Sad and creepy but somehow still beautiful, Japan spending all its pennies on pain. 

Darker BLs and more thoughts on Moody Arthouse Smackdoodle here. 

Tangential blogs posts:

10 Best Uses of Cinematic Storytelling in BL

Top 10 Highest Production Values in Thai BL  

Some Noodling on BL Production Houses & Studios

This post the result of an ask from @theklutzymaniac, updated end of 2022. 

(source)