#but popular in our server for the lols
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my friend is obsessed with knitting gnomes and has knit up a whole gnome army by now. i texted her "you should call it gnitting" and she has left me on read for three weeks.
#somebody laugh at my joke because clearly she's not going to#friendship endangered by knitting joke#my sister and i once had a wow guild called gnomes of vengeance#completely useless guild functionally because there are no gnome spellcasters (or weren't at the time anyway idk about now)#but popular in our server for the lols#go gnome or go home#yarn fandom
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I do kinda hope we get a sequel, it’d be nice to be able to talk about Lorabetta again
#smol has a vent#this aint as bad as my other vents but it's still a bit melancholy to go in my normal 'speaks' or fandom tag#cause like i dont wanna make out like 'oh the attentions not on ME im LEAVING this fandom' cause im not. but like.#it's one of my only fandoms ive ever truly been In. i made friends from it. i developed OCs for it. discussed the lore and game with others.#i was INTO it and made one of my favourite OCs ever. and people actually wanted to know about her!!!#people asked me about her!!! we made our OCs interact!!! thats not happened before!!#i finally felt like i was in a community! but of course things have lulled these last few months#which is only natural of course. people have their own lives and stuff to deal with they get into other fandoms its natural its normal.#the server aint fully dead most of us are still kinda there. i hope it picks up again at some point#but yeah no i finally drew a Lorabetta comic for Easter and i was PRAYING this might get more attention than the last one (which was 0)#cause i was following up a previous comic! one that got attention! i shared it in the server and....#nothing. no one cared i suppose. ik she's not like the Best or Most Popular OC in the fandom. i dont think she even registers#on a fandom-wide scale. but she matters to me. and it mattered that other people were interested. and that interest just...isnt there anymor#didnt help i nearly had her ruined for me over something i really shouldnt have got so upset about but i had no way of like assuaging#my worries so i lowkey spiralled a little bit so it left a sour taste in my mouth. another reason drawing her comic meant a lot to me#telling myself 'i still love her'. i want others to love her too. is that a lot to ask? maybe. ah well. such is life.#i reckon a sequel would also be very fun but i mostly do just want a reason to go back to Lorabetta. maybe Mollinda too#im sorry i left you by the wayside girls. and sorry to Lanabelle and Edithana for never developing you. but ya meant a lot to me. still do.#'wow shes apologising to her OCs thats so fuckin sad' yeah maybe but im a sensitive bitch me. its how im built lol
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halls of mandos dashboard simulator... part 2
Recommended for you!
🦊 fairfaefox Follow got a song on the tip of my tongue i haven't heard in like 400 years and it's driving me nuts. all i can remember about it is that it started with this really vivid image of burning ships & it had a drum beat that went sorta like dum deee dum ba beee crackle-crackle and got more intense as the song went on think it might have been in quenya? could be wrong
🌃wordsmithfoul Follow ........... ,,, op....... are you talking about the Ñoldolantë
🦊 fairfaefox Follow oh yeah that's it thanks! :)
🌧️ rainelf Follow SCREAMING LMAO OP???
👒 fllfrrur Follow
🦊 fairfaefox Follow HJKHJHKJ GIRL IM AVARI LEAF ME ALONE 😭😭😭😭😭
🏇 doriath_dude Follow Exhibit #4555 of the insane Noldor-centrism of this goddamn website. Most culturally important song of our age to fucking WHOM?? #ugh #curas fights the noldor AGAIN #discourse
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🌀positivitydaily Following positivity for elves that died in stupid and embarrassing ways! positivity for elves that don't have a cool and exciting death story! positivity for elves that fell off a cliff or drowned cave-diving or died of heartbreak over someone who was objectively speaking like a 6/10! no matter what posts get popular on here, it's totally OK not to have a cool death story nor does it make you any less worthy of reembodiment! lame death positivity!! #positivity #i'll go on record and say i died from mushroom poisoning
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🧵broiderycreature Mutuals look i know it's just selection bias from my beloved mutuals but i think it's funny to imagine we're all gonna leave the halls having transed our gender & gotten radicalized. like yeah mom i'm not the daughter you thought you had but more importantly we must abolish the monarchy #lol. lmao even ( 45 notes )
🏰 Turgon_Of_Gondolin_1 Following Update: Minecraft server is back up, but I've disabled PvP and increased raiding protections. I will not name names, but please think before you act next time. ( 203 notes )
💠 LoveStruckLoaf Mutuals hey girl uhhh. sorry your boyfriend didn't come to the halls of mandos. yeah no one can say what his fate is because it isn't woven into the tapestries on of the world i'm really sorry about that haha. uhh i guess he did chose it for himself so there's that. we're still cool right? #lariel's copium
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🔥Fëanáro_Official Follow
#If they are truly so loath to restrict us they ought not fear the voice of the people #Which I am sure shall be in my favor.
(12001 notes)
🐝 bee-leg Following anyone know whom I petition to learn the everlasting fate of my lemur (beloved companion)? thank you faithfully #personal
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#being horribly self indulgent making this#brain kept buzzing with ideas#the silmarillion#silly shit tag
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From pressured to driven Part 2
What happens when you feel pressured to do something you never thought you'd do?
Especially if 4 serial killers are the ones pressuring you.
Slight ronin x reader
| spoilers for Killer chat!!! This is part two of "From pressured to driven". As always, my writing sucks so its probably Ooc. I have no idea if i want to continue with more parts, but hey who knows.
TW: Mention of murder, going insane, light gore, SA?(forced kissing)
PSA: I don't support neither am i trying to glorify/Normalize the words mentioned above. SA should be taken serious and it is not meant to be joked around.
Part 1:
You were walking around, searching for any "victims" to kill whilst trying not to freak out by the amount of corpses were in the alley. Damm, you knew Ronin liked going on killing sprees, but this much? If you counted every corpse you have walked past, it would be already above the 20. It didn't feel right, seeing all those unfortunate souls all on the ground, but you also couldn't help continue searching because before you know you are one going to become one of them if they find out.
*Ding!*
A notification?
Dear Reader,
I heard that you were writing a book, which is pretty interesting so my congratulations for that one.
moving on, one of our best reporters, Greg, has unfortunately resigned.
So my question to you is if you are able to make five new articles before the clock hits midnight. I expect at least two articles, but my apologies if this has come to you late, but if you are able to do it, i will try my best to reduce the amount of work you already have.
I wish you the best of luck on this.
Kind regards
Your boss.
You have to be serious. Five whole articles?
Not only did you have to make five new articles, you have to find a way to pretend that you killed a person. Not only that, it was 19:21.
19:21...
Fuck.
You have 4 hours and 30 minutes before midnight. You have to find a solution, and quick. Fuck, maybe you do want to kill someone, and with someone you mean your boss or either Greg.
Greg...
Always him, the 'best' reporter in the company. Total bullshit, he was average, a total pervert even. But the fact he resigned and that you had to chase after his bullshit!?
You felt anger raising up, adrenaline rushing through your veins, the amount of stress and anger that was mixed in your body was insufferable, that if you went to a therapist, they would either send you to a mental hospital or diagnose you with whatever mental disorder is popular.
*Ding!*
Another notification..?
@BestGregg: Hey Reader! Sorry for resigning so early and sudden but i got offered a wayy better job, and i couldn't pass up on that offer. Btw make sure to finish those assignments lol and because i'm resigning, how 'bout we meet up? I mean ur kinda chill and its gonna be fun. So what do you think?
Seriously? A meet up? Who does he think he is? My dad???
@SerialMC: Uhh..
sure i guess. Can we meet up here? *Insert Purgatory location*, i'll wait for u there, I'm here with some friends but i'm sure they don't mind.
@BestGregg: Sweet, i'll be there in 10 minutes, be prepared to have the best night of ur life ;)
Not only is he a total loser, he's a total pervert too. You continued walking, your mind just being full of total bullshit right now. First, your serial killer friends want you to kill somebody, second your stupid boss wants you to write 5 articles, and third your perverted ex-coworker wants to hangout and is going to try to hit on you.
Life's been going shit these weeks, you got hit with an inspiration block which means no more idea's for your next book. You've been trying to find out on how to tell the server that you're not actually a serial killer (What will probably never happen) and now this.
You gripped the knife that you previously found tighter, resisting the urge to even throw it. You can't kill anyone, you don't want to kill anyone, but in your state, it seemed like the only solution left.
"EYY READER, WHERE ARE YOU!?"
"I have a feeling they left"
"No way, they wouldn't leave us, their friends behind, i know them."
"Hah, So they're not as tough as they seem huh?"
"Hey! Don't say that, people like us just have our own struggles. Just let us be you edgeboy"
Fuck fuck fuck.
They were searching for you, and you haven't done anything at all, and looking at the time, that stupid greg should be somewhere here now.
How the fuck did you end up in this position!? Seriously, this would've been some fun hanging out day, but it always ends up in trouble. You just wished you could bury yourself somewhere.
"Yooo Reader it's me Greg!"
How he greeted himself scared the shit out of you, you hid the knife somewhere in your jacket, so he wouldn't notice. It was pretty dark out here, but from the looks of it and how he talked seemed like he had a bit to drink.
"Oh hey.. Greg."
"Whats up with the sad face reader? Are you not happy to see me?"
"No it's just. Work and stuff.. Gotta write 5 articles.. Ha ha.."
"Awh damn, sorry reader. Didn't know i was that important to the company, i mean, being the best reporter in the department? Hell yeah!"
He continued talking about how cool, and important he was that you didn't notice that you were basically backing up into a corner because of how much he talked.
"Ohh yeah, I think you need to confess something, reader."
"Confess.. What?"
He got closer to you, basically trapping you in that corner that you went to yourself. You said you wanted to bury yourself somewhere? Guess that place is here. He leaned into your face, you could feel his intoxicated breath, it reeked of alcohol and whatever cocktails he was drinking, but he didn't seem to go away.
"Don't act stupid, i know how you've been looking at me, you like me, don't you?"
Like. Him?
You hated that man. First, he got with all your female coworkers, he's the so-called "best reporter", he acts like a total asshole, pervert, and his looks are like the devil himself tried making the ugliest person that has ever existed. Not only that, but he has so much controversy, but of course, your boss ignores it because he was a good worker.
"I don't understand? I don't like you?
"Don't be shy, i know what you want"
Before you knew it, he slammed his lips into yours, forcefully kissing you as he held you by the waist. You yelped in disgust, tears starting to form in your eyes. You hated it, you couldn't move, you felt helpless. After he was done kissing you, he looked at you with a grin and you looked terrified.
"Look, you enjoyed that didn't ya? C'monn, i know ya want more"
"And don't worry, i won't go rough on you"
Oh.
Is this your end?
No.
It is not.
You can change
Maybe they will say you became corrupted.
But was it really, if it originated from fear?
You slowly gripped the knife you hid in your jacket, and held it tight in your hand.
"You know what i want..."
You put your free hand on his chest, he leaned in, looking like he wanted to kiss you, but before you could do that, you plunged that knife right into his chest.
He screamed, but you continued. You kept stabbing him near his heart, he tried pushing you off of himself, but you were too determined to finish him. After everything he did, all you wanted to do is never see him again.
Countless screams were forming in his throat, it sounded so god awfull, but that is why it was perfect. That's what stupid, perverted good for nothing deserve. A deep plunge in the heart. At this point, you were sure the rest could've heard the screams and were probably heading your way, but you didn't care about that. For now.
You pushed his body to the ground, before gripping two hands on the handle of the knife, and plunged even harder into his chest. You dragged the knife from his chest to his intestines, before stabbing him again for countless times. You felt anger and stress slowly leave, the crimson staining you. You felt.. Weird. You did feel guilty, yes but after all he did. He deserved it. You ripped out the knife, before hearing some voices behind you.
"Oh my, So Darlin' did end up killin someone huh? And even stabbing the intestines? How gruesome, i like that"
You turned around, hearing the voices of your friends
"Oh shit... Who that guy was, he was definitely hated by them.. Look at the stab marks holy shit, reader went batshit and im here for it"
"Oh.. My, reader, how are you feeling? I don't think that guy was some ordinary guy guys.."
"... The sight is gruesome"
You laughed, you kept laughing before finally stabbing the knife into his skull. He was finally gone.
".. That guy was my ex coworker. He kept stressing me out, making flirty moves, and.. Ended up forcefully kissing me."
Angel looked at you with a mix of reassurance and a look of "I've been there", and she slowly approached you along with Misaki. Meanwhile Misaki was a bit in denial, not because of the fact that you killed him, but because what he did to you. V was crossing his arms and shaking his head, while Ronin was heading towards the guy.
".. What you did there, reader.. I, oddly relate to it. Weird creepy perverted men hitting on you while you weren't doing anything? Killing him was a good choice, reader."
Angel was quite literally an angel. She is nice, she is understanding and she can relate to anyone. You're great full you have her as a friend.
Misaki was giving you constant back pats, trying to comfort you from that guy. You noticed that she was trying to lighten the mood.
"Hey so.. That guy was a total creep, and what you did was totally valid- I mean as a pervert, what did he expect?"
You forced a laugh out of that one, it was funny but for the sake of Misaki, you cracked a laugh so that she wouldn't suspect anything. But you know she meant good, if it was up to her, she would've killed the guy in a second.
V was looking at you and the guy, sighing before muttering out a sentence.
"You finished him, not for fun or for entertainment.. But for your safety and because of fear. Not bad at all."
His words shock you, because you didn't expect him to say that at all. You didn't really speak to him, and when you did, he was always on some "I will find out who you are" shit. Guess V is able to feel some sympathy after all.
You didn't even notice the fact that Ronin was ripping apart that guy's chest to grab his heart, you were starting to hear some weird- crack and bone breaking noises, that you couldn't help but look backwards at the body to find Ronin trying to obtain the guys heart.
Eventually, Ronin had the heart in his hand, and looked at you with a smile
"Darlin', Would ya mind giving me his aorta? And it's that ugly guy's heart, which makes it 10x better. C'monn, do it for the poor little devil."
He looked at you, with that stupid little smile from the first time you kissed, the moment you began rotting and corrupting. You laughed, and took the heart. Since Ronin started talking about the Aorta that much, you decided to google search a bit just to know where it was for a moment like this (which you never actually expected to happen)
You carefully ripped some of the other pieces of the heart, accidentally deattaching the superior vena cava and some artery, but eventually you managed to remove the aorta, and handed it to Ronin.
"To my dearest devil, the one who corrupted me."
Angel looked at Ronin with a look of "What the actual fuck ronin." and he just laughed. You smiled and He gave you a hair ruffle and put the aorta in some weird place in his bag. Gross, but hey, he can do whatever he wants.
You looked at your clothes, It was basically stained red now, but your face, hands and pants were a total mess. You sighed, before thinking of a way on how to get home without getting the police after you.
" You look like a complete fuckin mess. Not that i'm complaining, but you probably are. How 'bout i give you a ride to my house, and stay there?"
You wanted to agree, you didn't mind the idea, but you wondered about the others, what about them? It would be quite rude to leave them here.
Before you could say anything, Misaki overheard the convo and made an idea.
"YOO IS THAT A SLEEPOVER I HEAR!?"
".. I'm not really fond of sleepovers."
"Maybe we could? I mean it is the best way to end the hangout"
". Fuck no, i don't have enough space for five people. And besides, i don't think anyone can survive the devils little hideout"
"Stop being edgy for once ronin, your living room is big enough"
".. Wow, guess i have no choice do i?"
"A sleepover it is, then."
You decided to take a photo of the body, and you were planning on sending it in the server. To have some more 'evidence' that you killed someone. Would your old self be proud of you? Absolutely not, but people change. You changed by being rotten and corrupted, and you wouldn't want it any other way.
weird..
You have this odd feeling that doesn't go away
It feels like a craving.
More killing, it screams your name.
You feel like killing more people.
Their agony, your pleasure.
Time to show them what you have become.
#killer chat#ronin killer chat#ronin beaufort#angel killer chat#misaki killer chat#v killer chat#killer chat misaki#killer chat ronin#killer chat angel#killer chat vn#visual novel#fiction#fanfic#part 2
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[CN] MLQC Lucien’s Blooming Amidst Turbulent Desires MQ translation
⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️
This post contains a detailed spoiler for a MQ that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~
[Warning]: The content of this MQ is pretty explicit and may not be suitable for individuals under the age of 17 (CN server). It is recommended that those who do not meet this age requirement refrain from proceeding beyond this point.
This MQ accompany 🔞 High Temperature ASMR.
As Lucien speaks, he raises his hand under my gaze and meticulously unbuttons the topmost button.
In the faint and elusive light and shadow, his slender neck and collarbone gradually reveal themselves, following the movements of his fingertips and the downward opening of his collar.
Lucien, as if completely unaware, raises his hand and casually winds the work badge around his wrist, tightening it leisurely.
“As you can see, I can't move freely right now.”
‘‘So, would you say I'm cooperative enough like this?”
[Note: This time I haven’t had time to subtitle due to acads and research stuff. I’ll do subtitle later when I have time, for now I’ll just post the transcript to quench ppl curiousity lol. If you want to follow along the voice acting you can follow here]
[Exclusive Radio- Longing for Returning Home]
Conference Participant: Professor Lucien... Professor Lucien, please stay!
Lucien: Hm? Is there something you need from me?
Conference Participant: Just heard from other professors, did you book the earliest flight back home on the day the conference ends?
Lucien: Yes, that's correct. Is there anything else related to the conference that I need to be involved in afterward?
Conference Participant: No, it's just that I feel it's a pity for you to leave in such a hurry.
Conference Participant: Granada can be considered a famous tourist destination. It's a rare opportunity to come here, so why not appreciate the scenery?
Conference Participant: Why don't you join other professors and explore the local area for a few more days? I'd be happy to extend my hospitality to you as a host.
Lucien: Thank you for your kind intentions. It's just that due to our respective business travel arrangements, my girlfriend and I haven't seen each other for a long time.
Lucien: When we were talking just now, we discussed our itineraries. She will be returning to our home country a few days before me. By the time the conference is over, she should be waiting for me at home.
Lucien: Being by her side is more relaxing for me than traveling around.
Conference Participant: Girlfriend? Oh, is it the person who messaged you during dinner today?
Conference Participant: Haha, no wonder you looked at your phone in a good mood and even took photos of the churros on the table from different angles.
Conference Participant: So, you were taking those pictures for her, huh?
Lucien: (chuckles) You caught me… Um, she's curious about the snack.
Lucien: It's a pity that I can't bring a portion back for her to taste.
Conference Participant: Indeed, freshly fried items like that don't hold up well during long-distance transportation. However, there are other local souvenirs you can bring back from the area.
Conference Participant: I remember some shops are selling hand-painted tea sets and unique patterned textiles... They are very popular among girls.
Lucien: (in an interested tone) Is that so…
Lucien: Can you send me the address of the shops you just mentioned?
Lucien: If I have some free time during the conference in the next few days, I'd like to go and take a look.
Conference Participant: No problem, I will send it to you shortly.
Conference Participant: Ah, originally I was planning to be the spokesperson for a few other professors, and we were all going to travel together for a few days.
Conference Participant: Seeing you like this, I won't continue to persuade you anymore.
Lucien: Indeed, when the heart longs to return*, it's hard to stay for long.
(T/N: "归心似箭" is an idiom that literally translates to "the heart returns like an arrow." It is used to describe the strong longing and eagerness to return home or to a familiar place. It expresses his sentiment of wanting to go back to her, his 'home' where he truly belongs and feels comfortable 🥺)
Lucien: When we have the opportunity in the future, I will come back to Granada with her and explore the scenery and cuisine here.
[Part 1]
The taxi speeds along the cobblestone streets of Granada, passing through the dappled light and shadow beneath the palm leaves.
Moving forward, the outline of a hotel in the distance gradually becomes clear. The colored mosaic wall reflects a bright luster in the sunlight.
I compare it with the photo on my phone and feel pleasantly surprised. I give a thumbs-up to the driver beside me.
MC: You're amazing! That's the hotel!
The driver raises his eyebrows in satisfaction, smoothly turning the steering wheel. I switch back to the chat interface, suppressing my excitement as I look at the message just sent by Lucien.
Lucien's message: "If I remember correctly, you are finishing work and returning from Finland today, right?"
MC's reply: "Yes, I'm currently checking in for the flight with my colleagues. How about you? How much longer until you return home?"
Lucien's message: "Very soon. The conference has entered its final stage, and it will end within the next two or three days."
MC's reply: "Sigh, it's been almost a month since we last saw each other. Even two or three days feel so long…"
I switch to a music app and deliberately share a sad love song with a mournful melody.
I imagine him in front of the screen, raising his eyebrows with a slightly helpless expression, and I hold back a laugh as I step out of the taxi.
As I walk, my fingertips slide across the screen, searching for the room number he had told me during our previous conversation. Suddenly, a notification for a new message pops up.
Lucien's message: "Mm, I also really want to see you."
My heart suddenly becomes soft. As soon as the elevator door slides open, I eagerly walk towards the corridor and stop in front of the door of room 1609.
I suppress my quickening heartbeat and knock on the door, then speak in a rough and hoarse voice.
MC: Good afternoon sir, room service.
When he opens the door and sees me, Lucien should briefly be taken aback, then call out my name and hug me, right?
As if in response to this speculation, the next second, the familiar voice slowly but steadily emerges from the room.
Lucien: The door is open. Come in please.
MC: (suprised)….
While this makes it more convenient, how can this person have no sense of caution? I must remind him properly later.
With these thoughts in mind, I gently lift the suitcase and hold my breath as I push open the heavy room door.
The bright and spacious suite exudes tranquility, and the gauze curtains gently sway by the floor-to-ceiling window. I quickly scan the room but don't see the familiar figure I've been yearning for day and night.
I place the suitcase against the wall and am about to walk towards the inner area when suddenly, I hear a familiar voice from behind me.
Lucien: I've been waiting for you for a long time.
With his words, warm arms envelop me. The familiar scent embraces me from behind, instantly wrapping me in a hug.
I let out a surprised gasp and felt the softness of his hair brushing against my neck, causing a slight itching sensation.
In his usually calm voice, now there's an unmistakable sense of joy that can't be ignored.
Lucien: (playfully) So, this hotel even has such thoughtful room service, huh?
[Part 2]
Upon hearing his voice, my heart seemed to be filled with light and joyful happiness all of a sudden.
I smile and release the handle of the suitcase, swiftly turning around and throwing myself into this long-lost embrace.
The hand around my waist tightens imperceptibly. Lucien's nose gently nestles itself in my hair, and he lets a barely audible sigh.
The shadows of the trees sway in the tranquil room. Neither of us speaks as if we want to make up for the time apart over the past month through this wholehearted embrace.
After a moment, I finally raise my head and look into his slightly brightened eyes.
MC: I had planned to give you a surprise! How did you guess that it was me who came?
Lucien tilts his head slightly, indicating for me to look at the Bluetooth earphones in his ear.
Lucien: I was just about to play the song you sent me and carefully "appreciate" it, but unexpectedly, it automatically connected to another device.
Lucien: So, I guessed you must be nearby.
MC: Damn it, I can't believe I was caught at the last moment because of such a small detail.
(T/N: "功亏一篑" is an idiom that means to fail at the last moment due to a minor mistake or oversight. It describes a situation where one's efforts fall short of success, often due to a small oversight or mistake, after putting in a lot of effort up until that point.)
I playfully raise my hand in a mock expression of displeasure, and Lucien cooperatively lowers his head, his slender eyebrows slightly curved.
Lucien: But I feel that no matter how it happens, your presence itself is already enough of a surprise.
MC: (laughs) Professor Lucien, you're getting better and better at coaxing me aren’t you?
As I say this, I reach out and ruffle his hair. Lucien doesn't get up; instead, he leans closer and gazes at my cheek.
Lucien: Weren't you supposed to return to our home country with the team today? How come you came to Granada on your own?
MC: You know the answer already... What do you think?
I let out a soft hum and coquettishly poke Lucien's arm.
MC: I had to take a connecting flight from Finland because there were no direct flights. After landing, I took a long taxi ride to find this hotel.
MC: I must say, it's really difficult to meet Professor Lucien in person.
Lucien holds my hand and nods earnestly.
Lucien: Mm, it is indeed very challenging. (playfully faking a sigh) What should I do, how to reward this hardworking Miss Producer who traveled from afar?
I look around and point to the soft-looking sofa by the window.
MC: Then, I want to ask the Great Professor to accompany me to lie down for a while. My waist is sore after traveling for such a long time-!
Before I can even exclaim in surprise, Lucien swiftly picks me up in his arms. The next second, we both sink into the sofa bathed in the scent of sunlight.
I laugh and sit up, using one hand to support myself against his chest.
MC: (laughs happily) You're pulling a sneak attack!
Lucien: (laughs softly) What sneak attack, I've only learned a thing or two from Teacher MC.
As Lucien speaks, he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear, and I take the opportunity to intertwine my fingers with his. I gaze at the person beneath me, lost in my own thoughts.
Even though we video call every few days, being this close and gazing at each other, I can still sense some subtle changes.
His cheeks seem a little thinner; I wonder if it's due to not liking the food or being too busy to eat properly.
His hair has grown longer, now covering his eyebrows when lying down like this. Under his eyes... there seems to be a faint shadow of dark circles.
I can't help but put down my smile, and my hand gently brushes against the area under his eyes.
MC: (displeased) You even have dark circles... Didn't you say the conference was entering its final stage? Why aren't you resting properly?
Lucien: It was only the introduction of new topics that had come to an end, and the information left over from the previous meeting needed to be summarised.
Lucien: We still need to make good use of the time before the wrap-up.
MC: So do you still have work scheduled for today?
Lucien: Um, there is still much experimental data to compare. After summarizing the results, I must submit the analysis report to the organizers before ten o'clock.
MC: Is that so? I had hoped to hug you a little longer... Sigh, I guess I'll have to watch work take you away again.
I glance at the remaining time, reluctantly about to get up, but Lucien shows no intention of letting me go.
The hand around my waist tightens a little more, making me bend my elbow and get even closer to him.
As soon as I get closer, his warm lips follow, gently and affectionately kissing from the sensitive curve of my ear to my cheek.
Unable to resist the tickling sensation, I laugh and tilt my head slightly, trying to evade. The next second, Lucien firmly holds my jaw with a little dissatisfied expression.
Lucien: (gasps and whispers hoarsely) MC, don't hide…
With a hoarse voice near my ear, his cool and slender fingers caress my neck, slowly trailing upwards with an irresistible hint.
Wet and deep kisses accompany his movements, falling on my body like drizzle.
I clench the corner of his clothes tightly, unconsciously tilting my head back, feeling the sunlight reflected off the glass flash before my eyes.
I close my eyes, and it seems like my mind is also becoming hazy in this intense heat.
It isn't until the curtain hanging above us brushes against my face that I finally come to my senses. I take a breath and push Lucien's shoulder as if waking him up.
MC: W-Wait a moment.
Lucien: (breathless, in a hoarse and somewhat dazed voice) …Huh?
Lucien's dark eyes are filled with turbulent depth, and his hair is slightly damp. The actions of his hands don't stop; as if he is about to lean down again the next second.
I try to push his shoulder harder, my breath slightly unsteady as I speak.
MC: Didn't you just say that there is still a lot of data to organize and summarize?
MC: ...Then, now... shouldn't we…?
Lucien: (still trying to steady his breath) Mm.
Lucien responds vaguely, his lips still lingering on the side of my neck.
Lucien: (whispers very lowly in a clingy tone) But right now... I can't bear to let you go.
The intimate bewitchment leaves me feeling dizzy. I try to hold on to what little rationality I have left and tilt my head up to peck his nose.
MC: If Professor Lucien is going to be this unreasonable, I seriously need to consider whether I should continue creating these "surprises" in the future.
Lucien tightens his lips, a hint of leniency and resignation flashing across his face. I button up my disheveled collar, smiling as I stand up from the sofa and nuzzle against his neck.
MC: (smiles) We still have a few more days to spend together, there's no need to rush…
MC: But I'll be here working with you~ After you're done with your busy work, we can go out and have a delicious meal!
I say as I walk to the luggage. After a moment, the sound of the sofa rubbing against the floor finally emerges.
Only then do I sit next to him, gently holding my notebook. I casually place a pillow behind my back and begin browsing through my work notes from the past few days.
Perhaps it's because I'm by his side, I feel like I'm back at home, and without realizing it, I become more relaxed and at ease.
After flipping another page, I lazily adjusted to a more comfortable position, and one of my feet habitually rested on his leg.
The room falls silent for a moment, with only occasional faint sounds of paper rustling. After a while, Lucien suddenly speaks my name in a low voice.
Lucien: MC.
I respond absentmindedly, my eyes still fixed on the screen. The voice by my ear pauses briefly, seemingly carrying a hint of helplessness.
Lucien: Do you want to go inside and wait for me?
MC: Hey, did I disturb you? But I haven't even made much noise.
I don't understand, so I lift my head from the screen and notice Lucien's eyes flickering unusually. Suddenly, I grasp what's happening.
A mischievous idea springs up. I lift my heels and move along the long legs hugged by his trousers.
MC: You haven't said the reason why you suddenly 'asked me to leave' yet.
Through the firm fabric, the legs beneath my tiptoes seem to tense for a moment. I persistently speak up, refusing to relent.
MC: Did I really 'disturb you? Professor Lucien, could it be that you can't even resist this level of 'temptation'?
MC: Oh, this won't do~ When doing research, you must stay focused. How can you let yourself get distracted by a little bee that tests your self-control?
With those words, my tiptoes press on his leg, watching as Lucien bites his lip, and I can't help but curl up the corners of my mouth.
Having witnessed his usual ease, the sight of him struggling to restrain himself now makes me tempted to tease him further... Unfortunately, it's not the right moment.
However, being able to see him so openly longing is enough to satisfy me.
I close my notes, intending to leave as soon as I can, and am about to do so when he suddenly grabs my ankle.
Lucien's voice seems a little hoarse, and his fingertips are caressing gently.
Lucien: (whispers hoarsely) My teacher's "lesson" is indeed something.
Lucien: (x2) In terms of concentration, I indeed still have much to learn.
Lucien: (x3!!) So, (chuckle) can MC teach me how to do it?
His voice seems to carry a certain bewitchment. My breath catches for a moment, but I quickly snap out of it.
He's setting another trap, waiting for me to step into it willingly.
I let out a light snort in my heart. I pretend to take the bait and place my hand on his face.
MC: Of course, I can. However, I believe in tailoring my teaching to the individual, so I need to have a basic understanding of the student's situation first.
MC: Tell me, how far can you restrain yourself when facing my advances? And what would your reactions be at different levels of the advances?
Lucien holds my hand on his cheek, and lightly rubs against it, as if teasingly.
Lucien: This is a bit challenging for me.
Lucien: (chuckle) After all, when faced with your 'invitation', I seem to have never tried to resist.
I let out a long "oh," my voice softening a bit.
MC: They say learning requires understanding things thoroughly. Since there are things I don't understand, I have to figure them out.
Lucien: So, how does Teacher MC want to conduct this research?
I lock eyes with Lucien for a moment, then suddenly withdraw my fingertips from his hand, leaning forward to lightly peck his lips.
Before he can react, I quickly get up from the sofa and take two steps back, smiling mischievously as I speak.
MC: How about we conduct a little experiment~ Let me see how self-controlled Professor Lucien can be when he gets serious.
MC: I will adjust the variables to obtain accurate results. After all, as your special assistant, I've also accumulated a lot of experience and knowledge.
MC: Then, the experiment of an intern professor officially begins now. I kindly request this gentleman to cooperate accordingly.
MC: As for this special report, I will definitely record it diligently~
[Part 2-Intertwined Memory]
=Flashback, Narrator POV=
In the afternoon sunlight, there's a hazy and drowsy warmth floating around.
The cicadas are buzzing loudly, but Lucien seems completely unaware as he browses through the continuous stream of data. Other than the movements of his fingertips while flipping through the materials, he remains almost motionless at the desk.
Until the sound of a text message, like a small pebble, broke the frozen silence.
MC: "Yes, I'm currently checking in for the flight with my colleagues. How about you? How much longer until you return home?"
Looking at the message from the girl, Lucien's expression softened subconsciously. Thinking about the schedule that still had two or three more days to go, he lets out a light sigh.
When he realizes his actions just now, he pauses for a moment.
...It's strange. Whether for himself or the girl, business trips have become routine. He shouldn't feel this kind of helplessness.
Being separated from her just feels like something he can't get used to, no matter what.
After pondering for a moment, he replies in a composed tone, detailing the upcoming work arrangements.
However, he can't help but continue scrolling through the photos the girl had sent during their previous chat, not putting down the phone just yet.
She pointed at the reindeer statue behind her, her eyes shining as she looked at the camera; the photo of her holding up her unappetizing work lunch, making a distressed expression and sticking out her tongue.
The last picture is of the entrance to the Arctic Museum, with a caption that read, "If you were here, I'm sure I could understand more clearly."
Lucien's lips unconsciously raised upwards, and his fingertips gently stroke the phone screen.
During the days they hadn't seen each other, it seemed that the girl's life had experienced many exciting moments.
Even though they chatted every day and occasionally shared interesting experiences through video calls, he still felt it wasn't enough.
Having grown accustomed to the girl's company, this time their parting feels exceptionally long. The fleeting moments shared through digital communication can't fill the missing hole left behind.
Lucien purses his lips and gently places the phone on the table.
Just wait a little longer... When they meet again in a few days, he is determined to embrace her and listen to her happily recount all the moments she didn't have a chance to share.
Ding.
The notification sound rings again. The girl sends a sentimental love song—a melodramatic tune with a cliché title "Golden Song of the Year."
Imagining her acting sorrowful, Lucien can't help but curve his lips and replies with a "Mm, I miss you too."
Afterward, he takes out the Bluetooth earphones from the case, intending to listen to her spontaneous sharing. As his gaze unintentionally sweeps across his phone screen, he suddenly freezes.
...there is no indication of a connection on the screen.
These earphones seem to have automatically paired with another device.
Lucien instinctively holds his breath, carefully listening to the sounds outside the room. Soon, he hears familiar footsteps in the corridor, precisely stopping at the door.
In the next moment, the heavy door is knocked on. Someone deliberately lowers their voice and speaks in a rough manner, "Good Afternoon, sir, room service."
It's her.
His heartbeat seems to quicken involuntarily. Lucien stands up from the desk and walks lightly towards the door.
As he walks, that missing hole seems to be suddenly filled by some intangible presence, gurgling and flowing gently.
The warm breeze in Granada lifts a soft corner of the curtain, and the vibrant colors of summer flood into the room.
Lucien: The door is open. Come in please.
Lucien heard himself speak.
=Flashback and Narrator POV END=
[Part 3]
I walk quickly to the inner room, hook the door handle with my hand, and slowly close the door, blocking the view behind me.
I hold my breath and listen carefully through the gap in the door. After a moment of silence, the sound of paper flipping resumes. It seems that Lucien has started working again.
I comfortably lie down on the lounge chair and continue to look at my notes. Occasionally, I raise my head to glance in the direction of the balcony outside.
The soft curtains gently sway with the breeze, concealing the figure in the living room from my view.
Is Lucien currently working diligently? If I don't do anything, how long will it take for him to knock on this door?
I retract my gaze and ponder with interest. In the warm afternoon breeze, I lazily flip to the next page of the data.
As the sunlight slowly moves to the west, the steaming heat gradually dissipates. When I raise my head again, I realize that the sky has darkened.
*sexy bgm playing*
I walk to the balcony and notice that the lights are on in the living room, casting a shadow of Lucien on the gauze curtain. I yawn and glance at my phone.
The afternoon has passed since the announcement of the experiment, yet there hasn't been a knock on the door. I haven't even received a message from Lucien.
MC: Huh? When you get serious, you actually have quite a strong willpower.
I squinted my eyes as I looked at the shadow cast on the gauze curtain. It seems that it's time to introduce some "bait" as the experiment's variable.
After contemplating for a moment, I unhurriedly send him a message.
MC's message: "Is the work still going smoothly~"
I spin a pen around my fingers, and soon enough, my phone receives a reply.
Lucien's reply: "Mm, I've already read most of it."
MC's message: "So, Professor Lucien is quite efficient when I'm not around, huh."
MC's message: "Speaking of which, would sending text messages disturb you?"
On the other end of the screen, Lucien seems to have pondered seriously for a moment before replying.
Lucien's reply: "If only seeing the text, it seems to be manageable."
Oh~ that means there might be a little ripple in his heart, but not so much. Come to think of it, we do indeed communicate more frequently through voice calls.
If I were to use 'voice' to entice him, what would his reaction be?
MC's message: "I'll be relieved then~ However, it's almost 9 o'clock now. How much longer will it be until you can rest with me?"
The name in the chat box is replaced by "Typing..." A moment later, a new message alert sounds again.
Lucien's reply: "It will take some more time to process the remaining data. You can go ahead and rest."
MC's message: "But I'm having trouble falling asleep Q.Q How about letting me listen to the sound of you working? It can serve as a soothing white noise to help me sleep."
After a moment, Lucien's voice dialed in, his calm voice is accompanied by the sound of pages flipping.
Lucien: (in a calm yet a bit wronged tone) I thought a certain Miss Professor who's immersed in the experiment wouldn't come to see me today.
MC: Haha, actually, I was planning to just sleep like that. But…
MC: Thinking that you're so close to me, I feel a little unwilling to give in to sleep.
Lucien's breathing seems to have slowed down a bit, but he still speaks calmly and unhurriedly.
Lucien: Alright, rest assured and take your time. We don't have to rush things, after all, we still have several days to spend together, don't we?
...This person has quite a good memory.
(lol he 'jabs' her back with the same sentence that she said earlier 😂)
I silently curl the corners of my lips and casually respond as if nothing happened.
MC: Indeed, that makes sense. Oh well, don't mind me anymore, just focus on your work~
Lucien responds with a sound but doesn't say anything further. On the other end of the phone, the sound of flipping pages resumes.
The rustling sound mixed with faint breathing noise echoes in my ears, like the evening breeze brushing through the drooping branches. I lift my fingertips, tracing the shadow cast on the window.
MC: Lucien, actually I've been thinking about how to spend this evening with you since several days ago.
Lucien: Hmm? (chuckles, and then whispers seductively) What have you imagined?
I chuckle softly and shift to a more comfortable position, leaning against the railing.
MC: ...Many things. Um, so many things.
MC: I heard this place is famous for its night views, and many hotels have private outdoor baths.
MC: Embracing each other under the cover of night, watching the flickering lights on the water's surface... It should be a very cozy and romantic experience.
MC: Or maybe like our previous trip, getting close under the moonlight, sharing a glass of red wine, and then…
I let out a soft sigh, as if recalling the lingering and intoxicating kisses from that night.
The sound of flipping pages on the other end of the phone stopped at some point. I turn my head with interest and speak softly.
MC: Do you really have to work on your report until so late tonight?
MC: After being apart for so long... I really miss you.
The shadow cast on the gauze curtain seems to pause for a moment, and an unspoken understanding silently flows between us by our ears.
When he speaks again, Lucien's tone is subtly deeper than before.
Lucien: (his voice noticeably deeper and a bit hoarse) This lady has quite a gift for teasing people, even more so than I had imagined.
MC: (pretending to be dumb)...Why suddenly bring that up? I just wanted to chat with you, that's all.
Lucien: (slowly whispers) Is that so? It seems like I misunderstood then.
Lucien: (whispers with even lower and more hoarse voice) I originally thought this was an observational experiment with escalating variables.
I lazily raise my tone at the end of my sentence.
MC: Can't it be both? While I do want to conduct the experiment, I also want to tell you the truth.
MC: Don't you have anything to tell me right now?
The shadow on the gauze curtain gently sways with the breeze, and Lucien seems to chuckle softly.
Lucien: (chuckles softly) For example?
MC: For example... "Miss Professor, I want to terminate this experiment early because I miss you very much too."
MC: However, I only accept applications submitted in person.
I hang up the phone before Lucien can say anything else, feeling intrigued as I gaze in the direction outside.
Will this door be knocked on tonight?
[Part 4]
The warm morning light streams through the floor-to-ceiling windows of the balcony, drenching the room with harmonious light and shadow.
I sit in front of the dressing table, lost in thought as I tidy my clothes and glance at the door that remains unknocked. I purse my lips slightly.
I pick up the notebook and write the word "physical contact" next to "sound".
Dealing with this cunning person, it seems like it's time to further upgrade the variables.
If I "tempt" him a little today, he'll probably cross that boundary, won't he? After all, yesterday he seemed reluctant to let me go on the sofa.
As I'm reminiscing about the unfinished 'embrace', I suddenly hear a knock on the door behind me, and the door is gently pushed open.
Lucien leans against the door, smiling as he meets my gaze through the mirror. There seems to be nothing unusual in his expression.
Lucien: Breakfast has arrived, do you want to eat together?
MC: Coming right up!
I take three quick steps and grab the hem of his clothes, leading him toward the outer room while teasing him as I speak.
MC: Let me guess, it's not black coffee with bread again, is it?
Lucien: Of course not. I had the hotel prepare some local churros for us. I remember that you mentioned being curious about its taste in our previous conservation.
Lucien then speaks as his gaze falls on my ear.
Lucien: (chuckle) Your earring seems to be slightly askew.
I blink belatedly. I'm about to raise my hand to adjust it when suddenly I think of something and naturally glance at Lucien.
MC: But I can't see the angle at which the earring is askew... Could you please help me adjust it, Professor Lucien?
I step forward and see Lucien nods as he bends down toward me.
Lucien: Mm, I'd be happy to help.
The warmth of his fingertips reaches my earlobe as the slightly cool earring rotates in my ear piercing. I tilt my head slightly and hear a hint of helplessness in his voice.
Lucien: The clasp design is quite intricate, so don't move around too much for now.
MC: It's just a little disturbance, it should be fine, right?
I smile and lean closer to him, almost feeling the warmth of his breath brushing against my face. The hand near my ear seems to pause for a moment.
MC: Why don't you continue?
The temperature in the air quietly rises amidst the tranquility, his figure silhouetted against the morning light, enveloping me within.
My ear is gently caressed as if by an elusive touch. I gaze into Lucien's deepening eyes, anticipating the kiss that may descend at any moment.
But in the next second, Lucien loosens his fingertips.
Lucien: Hmm, it's all adjusted now.
Amidst my astonished gaze, Lucien straightens up and calmly walks to the dining table. It's as if that momentary flash of action was just my imagination.
I hide my inner astonishment and sit across from Lucien with a calm expression, but my mind is racing with thoughts.
Strange, why does he seem so nonchalant as if nothing happened…
The long-awaited delicacies seem to have lost their appetizing flavor. I stir the juice absentmindedly, not noticing the fleeting smile that appeared on Lucien's face.
After a while, the person in front of me calmly puts down the fork.
Lucien: Weren't you curious about the taste of churro for a long time? Why does it seem like your interest is lacking now?
Lucien: Did you try it and find that it doesn't suit your taste?
MC: ....Haha, maybe I ate too many snacks on the way yesterday.
Lucien: Have some juice first. There's still some work to do at the seminar, I'll head to the reference room first.
MC: So soon... Take it easy. I'll be waiting for you to come back.
I say it while casually adjusting his tie. It's only when I hear the sound of the door closing that I slowly withdraw my gaze.
The variable has already been upgraded from "voice", but Lucien hasn't shown a more noticeable reaction than last night.
Could it be that this light and fleeting "physical contact" wasn't enough? Or is this person deliberately acting like nothing happened?
As I ponder, I set the cup down and suddenly catch a glimpse of a badge lying in the corner of the dining table. Picking it up, I find it contains Lucien's job title and other information.
MC: ...Conference badge? Did he accidentally drop it?
I quickly stand up, ready to return the badge to the conference venue, but suddenly, I pause, as if realizing something.
Then I turn around and go back to the room, putting on the new long dress I bought.
The hotel's architectural structure is far more complex than I had imagined.
With the guidance of several staff members, I finally navigate through the maze of stairs and find the corner where the reference room is located.
The bright corridor is empty, with no one in sight, and occasionally, I can hear faint footsteps in the distance, but they never come close. I withdraw my gaze and gently push open the door in front of me.
The air seems to be infused with the subtle scent of books. The dark metal chandelier and the light wooden bookshelves work together to create a bright and clean atmosphere.
As expected, there is no one in the reference room at this moment. I tread lightly, passing through the light and shadows cast by the rows of bookshelves until I finally spot Lucien in the corner.
He is dressed in a cold white lab coat, sitting on a chair, his gaze lowered as he flips through something. His slender fingers occasionally brush over the yellowed pages.
The eyes and eyebrows that are usually slightly curved when facing me are now focused and carry a distant coldness that keeps others to remain at a respectful distance.
Perhaps it's because I haven't seen Lucien in work mode for a long time, I couldn't help but stop in my tracks and silently watch him for a moment before finally walking over.
Noticing the sound behind him, Lucien casually raises his eyes to look. He seems somewhat surprised and lets out a soft "Hm?". The expression in his eyes instantly softens.
Lucien: How did you find your way here?
MC: I came to deliver something to a certain careless professor~
I smiled and waved the work badge in my hand, walking briskly to his side while also glancing around the area.
An extensive collection of anatomical diagrams and texts, medical tools, and X-ray films emitting a cold glow... I withdrew my gaze and curiously asked.
MC: Is this conference related to medicine?
Lucien sets the work badge aside and naturally takes my hand in his.
Lucien: Mm, it mainly focuses on the application of neuroscience in rehabilitation medicine.
Lucien: Local scholars have proposed many ideas in the direction of neural circuits. After exchanging our research progress, we are considering jointly publishing new research findings.
MC: Indeed, sparks are more likely to fly when minds collide~ But why is it that only you are here?
Lucien: The locals are accustomed to having a chat at the dining table after finishing their meal. Since mealtime has just passed, it will take some time before they're coming over.
I nod thoughtfully, keenly picking up on a message — which means, no one will come to disturb us right now.
I respond with an "Oh" and curiously open my mouth to speak.
MC: By the way, we haven't really talked much about your research in this area.
MC: Neuroscience and rehabilitative medicine... Does that mean helping patients recover through certain brain activities?
Lucien: The brain and body are naturally coordinated through interactions to maintain dynamic stability in various basic physiological indicators.
Lucien: Many physiological phenomena are influenced by the central nervous system. Similarly, they can also reflect the state of the human brain and even cognition.
Lucien: If you're curious, I can use heart rate as an example to give a simple explanation.
As Lucien speaks, he casually picks up a stethoscope from the medical kit in the corner. I calmly stroke my chest, but suddenly feel nervous.
If Lucien hears my rapidly beating heart right now, he will probably notice that I'm plotting something…
MC: ...Let me do it! It will leave a deeper impression if I do it myself~
I say as I pick up another stethoscope. I notice Lucien raises an eyebrow and his eyes slightly curve.
Lucien: Not only do I have to be MC's teacher, but I also have to play the role of teaching aid?
MC: Talented people should take on more responsibilities, so I'll trouble you a bit~
As if accepting my words, Lucien obediently leans back on the chair, watching me with interest as I put on the stethoscope.
Just as I'm about to place the stethoscope against his chest, he suddenly extends his hand and I stop him.
MC: Please, Mr. Teaching Aid, stay still and don't move around.
Lucien: Don't misunderstand, I just want to minimize any factors that might affect your auscultation.
As Lucien speaks, he raises his hand under my gaze and meticulously unbuttons the topmost button.
The sound of the buttons coming undone is barely audible in the confined space.
Like a small electric current passing from my auditory nerves to my chest, my heartbeat accelerates uncontrollably.
In the faint and elusive light and shadow, his slender neck and collarbone gradually reveal themselves, following the movements of his fingertips and the downward opening of his collar.
The air in the cramped information room carries a sense of warmth and stuffiness, there seems to be a hint of humidity reflected in his eyes. His jet-black bangs stick moistly to his head.
In the silence, a bead of sweat drips down his jaw, landing silently in the shallow valley that rises and falls with his breath, only to be absorbed by the damp fabric.
I exhale.
The electric currents entwined around my heart suddenly transform into a hidden flame. I can almost hear my breath slowing down as I tighten my grip on the stethoscope head.
Lucien, as if completely unaware, raises his hand and casually winds the work badge around his wrist, tightening it leisurely.
His cold white lab coat is disheveled, and the tie that was neatly adjusted when he left is now loosely hanging around his neck.
Yet, he calmly gazes at me, his tone still carrying a meticulousness that makes one want to break through.
Lucien: As you can see, I can't move freely right now.
Lucien: So, would you say I'm cooperative enough like this?
MC: ...It’s enough!!
As if trying to conceal my increasingly rapid heartbeat, I press the stethoscope against his chest, moving it along the gently rising and falling chest.
Immediately, I hear the low and rhythmic sound filling my ears.
Lucien's voice sounds timely.
Lucien: Did you hear anything?
I purse my lips without showing any emotion, trying my best to maintain a calm tone.
MC: Y-your heartbeat seems to be very fast... 81 beats per minute, is that a normal rate?
Lucien: Don't worry. Under the influence of special factors, a resting heart rate can approach around 100 beats per minute.
Lucien: (with his voice noticeably a bit hoarse and low in the end) The load brought on by exercise, changes in temperature, and the control of the autonomic nervous system... all of these can have an impact on the heart rate.
I seem to sense something and meet Lucien's gaze. His eyes look deep, as if a bit darker than usual.
But I feel like I've been scorched by flames, and my gaze involuntarily flickers. My instinct whispers softly in my ear, telling me that the person in front of me is not as calm as he appears to be.
Even though I don't feel thirsty, my throat involuntarily moves. I grip the stethoscope head, which has warmed up with his body temperature, and continue to slowly lower it.
MC: But we haven't left the data room since a while ago, so we can probably rule out the first two factors.
Lucien: Hm, a very keen deduction. What else?
I can hear the vigorous and rhythmic beats in my ears, almost in sync with the rhythm of my heart beating in my chest.
Lucien's lips curve up with a hint of praise, and his voice still carries a trace of unruffled calmness.
I casually take off the stethoscope. My knees press against the surface of the chair between his legs and move closer to him.
(...she gets on the chair👀)
Our breaths intertwine, and I can almost see my own reflection in his eyes.
MC: Your pupils have dilated a bit, and the color of your eyes has deepened.
MC: From the physiological knowledge I know, there could be many possible reasons…
MC: But considering the earlier deduction and the current situation, it seems like there's only one conclusion.
Lucien seems to let out a very soft laugh, and his hands bound by the lanyard move slightly.
Lucien: Speak out.
My fingertips slide into the tightening gap of the lanyard, pressing against his increasingly warm wrist.
MC: Are you... trying to restrain yourself right now?
MC: Or should I say, you really want to do something right now?
The wrist that I'm touching moves, and the strong pulsations under my fingertips seem to be telling me the answer in advance.
A dangerous curve forms at the corner of Lucien's mouth, and his eyes look at me from bottom to top.
Lucien: (whispers hoarsely) If I say yes, what measures do you plan to take?
My fingertips skillfully hook and release the rope binding his wrist.
The sound of the work badge hitting the ground resonates. Amidst Lucien's sudden proximity and his intense gaze, I softly laugh and speak.
MC: This is my answer.
[Part 4-Intertwined Memory]
(T/N: I KNOW y’all want to jump into the fun part but please read this part first so the next part will make more sense-)
=Flashback From Last Night=
The darkness spreads across the skyline of a foreign land, and distant lights begin to twinkle one by one.
The gauze curtain flutters, and it seems like footsteps can be heard on the balcony outside, but it quickly falls back into silence.
I turn my head slightly, only to find that Lucien has quietly brushed aside the gauze curtain and is leaning against the door, looking at me in silence.
In the flowing tranquility, ambiguity grows quietly like creeping vines. I tuck the strands of hair lifted by the night breeze behind my ear and gaze back into his eyes.
MC: At this hour... Professor Lucien, are you planning to submit an application to terminate the experiment early?
Lucien smiles and shakes his head.
Lucien: (chuckles) I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint Miss Professor.
Lucien: I just thought that there are some special circumstances in the experiment, and perhaps we need to discuss them.
I raise an eyebrow and teasingly ask for more details.
MC: Is that so? How come I feel like you deliberately found an excuse to see me?
MC: If you change the experiment process without permission, be careful, I'll consider that as cheating.
Lucien's lips curl up with a hint of slyness, and he takes a step forward.
The warm airflow brushes against his bangs, revealing those deep eyes as dark as the night.
Lucien: It's just a step-by-step progression, from hearing your voice to seeing you in person. Next, MC can continue upgrading from the current level.
Lucien: Or... are the variables you prepared ending here?
Under his smiling gaze, I choke for a moment but casually speak as if nothing happened.
MC: ...Hmph, of course not.
MC: Then do tell me, what are the circumstances you want to discuss with me?
Lucien nods and speaks seriously.
Lucien: In actual scientific research, there are several possibilities that may lead to the experiment being terminated prematurely, aside from the participants voluntarily withdrawing their applications.
MC: Hmm, I haven't heard you mention this before... For example?
Lucien: Insufficient rigor in the process, lack of experimental funding, missing key personnel... Of course, our experiment won't involve such complex factors.
Lucien: Excluding all of the above, there is only one situation that needs to be avoided.
A hint of nervousness mixed with curiosity arises. I blink my eyes and instinctively ask for further clarification.
MC: What is it?
Lucien: The experiment leader voluntarily announces giving up.
There seems to be a hint of implication in his low voice. I pause for a moment and then nod with understanding, shaking my index finger slightly.
MC: Professor Lucien is worrying too much~ In this self-control experiment, there won't be such a possibility occurring.
Lucien chuckles softly.
Lucien: At the beginning of any experiment, the experiment leader is filled with enthusiasm and belief. However, as it progresses, their mindset can unconsciously change.
Lucien: So I believe there's no need to rush to a conclusion... After all, you just said it yourself, that you really wanted to see me, right?
As he speaks, Lucien's body quietly draws closer. The night breeze is gentle, making the end of my hair caressing his face, as if there are some hidden thoughts entwined between us.
Even though we are still leaning on the railings of our respective rooms, I can't help but feel like he can hear the drumming heartbeat in my chest.
Lucien: I do have something I haven't told you yet.
Lucien: Not just today, but every night since we parted... (whispers softly) I've been missing you.
My heartbeat suddenly quickens. Under his focused gaze, I try to distract myself by pinching my palm, attempting to appear nonchalant as I avert my gaze.
MC: Hearing this before going to bed, I think I can have sweet dreams tonight.
MC: But if you want me to give up, you'll have to try a little harder~ Good Night, Professor Lucien.
Lucien gazes at me intently for a moment, then sighs lightly and straightens his body.
Lucien: (chuckle) …Good night, MC.
I nod and return to the room under Lucien's gaze. Calmly, I close the gauze curtain, then place my hand on my chest. My heartbeat is so fast that it feels like it could take flight.
I let out a sigh, half delighted and half annoyed, and bury my heated ears in the blanket.
What sweet dreams... Tonight, I probably won't be able to sleep.
[NOTE THAT, in this flashback Lucien is giving MC two choices that’ll available for her through the experiment, for MC to keep increasing the variables; or to stop the experiment by announcing that she's giving up with the experiment. And as you can see from part 3, MC still hasn't announced her surrender, only making it harder for Lucien to control himself by taking off the work badge. Since she hasn't announced her surrender, as far as both of them know the experiment still goes on, Lucien still needs to control himself, and she will increase the variable in the next part.]
[Part 5]
The air in the afternoon seems to be frozen in the silent gaze, with only the heat slowly spreading between us.
The heartbeat beneath my fingertips, the breath brushing against my face... everything about the person in front of me is telling me that he shares the same desires as I do.
I let out a sigh and dazedly gaze into Lucien's dark eyes. Suddenly, I feel a little regretful.
If we don't start this experiment, we would have more time to enjoy.
However, he's so smart that even if I don't say anything, he should have sensed my silent surrender, right? ...Then why doesn’t he 'respond' to me quickly?
I whispered in my heart, my high heels fell to the ground somewhere along the line and tangled with the pile of work badge.
Lucien: MC….
Lucien didn't speak, he just softly murmured my name.
The hand gripping my waist is caressing and tightening, as if wanting to embed me in an embrace, yet also trying to stop my movements.
The voice by my ear is as low as a sigh, brushing against my crumbling rationality. I clutch onto his clothes and bite my lips in frustration.
[Note: to avoid CN censorship- the narrative doesn't describe her actions and focuses more on her thoughts as she increases the variables and makes advances, remember that from the previous part (Part 4) Lucien is sitting on a chair, and MC also get on it- Now his breath is brushing against her face, so they're now looking face-to-face, the high heels fell to the ground somewhere along the line, so she's been on his lap for quite… some time now. She's a bit frustrated that Lucien hasn't 'responded' to her 'movements' on his lap. To put it bluntly, she’s ‘riding’ him right now.]
At this moment, Lucien's phone suddenly rings with a notification sound.
A sudden clarity flashes through my hazy mind, and I instinctively turn my head to see "The Seminar Group invites you to join the voice conference" flashing on the screen.
MC: ….
As my drowsy rationality returns, I become aware of the burning sensation in my ears. Worried about what urgent work might be, I force myself* to lean forward and take the phone from the table, handing it to him.
(T/N: 强撑 means to force oneself to do something despite struggles or difficulties, and of course, she's struggling to lean forward and take the phone because she is 'stuck' on his d-)
Lucien takes the phone with one hand, but the hand holding my waist doesn't let go. He softly shushes and casually taps on the screen.
The noisy voices suddenly come through the receiver, breaking the cramped silence.
Scholar A: ...I insist we need more evidence for this experiment.
Scholar B: It would be a waste of time..... Why do you keep quiet, Dr. Lucien?
Lucien: Keep going. I'm listening.
Despite saying so, his eyes are still stained by the tide and remain fixed on my face, as if he has no intention of letting me go.
I shake his unmoving arm, feeling slightly stifled by the situation.
Just a moment ago, he was acting all calm and unmoved, and now he's pulling and teasing me like this….
I lower my head with a hint of resentment, following the force on my waist as I go down and vent my frustration by biting him on the shoulder.
I hear a restrained gasp near my ear as I take his phone a little further away and quickly lean in to whisper in Lucien's ear.
MC: Since you have important matters to attend to, I'll take my leave.
MC: ...Once again, I have to let work occupy you first.
Amid our conversation, footsteps echo in the hallway, getting closer and mingling with the intense discussion that sounds just like the one on the phone.
The scholars who haven't hung up the call seem to have arrived outside the reference room. I swiftly place the phone back into Lucien's hand and get down to pick up my high heels from the ground.
It seems like leaving now is not an option; at least, I have to tidy up our appearances before they come closer….
The next second, my waist is tightly embraced, and I fall back into the embrace behind me again.
Lucien: I've been cooperating with MC's experiment... (whispers hoarsely) but is this as far as the variable changes go? Won't they continue any further?
His tone carries a casual yet dangerous smile. And as if responding to my previous retaliation, his scorching breath slowly trails up my shoulder.
This man is really…!
I lightly hum and give his shoulder a push.
MC: Let's talk about that later. Let me clean up first.
Lucien: No matter the reason, giving up halfway is not a good habit.
The sound of the door opening suddenly echoes, and the noise and footsteps from the corridor rush in. Separated by a dozen rows of bookshelves, I can almost see those approaching figures.
The restraint on my lower back shows no sign of loosening. I open my eyes slightly wider, and my tone finally becomes faster.
MC: Don't bully me, we won't make it in time…!
Lucien: (whispers teasingly) Really? But MC was obviously very bold when she taught me just now.
Lucien: Bold enough... to make me want to watch a bit longer, to see how far your experiment will progress.
As the words are spoken, the dark colors in my vision suddenly turn into a golden-red illuminated by sunlight. The footsteps that were close just a moment ago also disappear all of a sudden.
I snap back to reality and realize that the surroundings have turned into the rooftop at some point. I'm momentarily stunned and then realize that he has used Evol to take me away from the reference room.
The lush foliage reflects on Lucien's figure, and his eyes also flicker with changing light and shadow. His voice carries an unabashed smile.
Lucien: I thought you knew I wouldn't let anyone else see what you just did.
MC: (blushing) ...You, you did it on purpose!
Saying this, my tense shoulders finally relax a bit. I take a deep breath and suddenly remember something.
MC: They must have something to discuss with you, right? Will leaving like this affect their work?
Lucien: Don't worry. The final stage is just a continuation of the discussion, and there won't be any new issues to address.
Lucien: Compared to that, what's happening right now is even more important.
I blink my eyes and hesitantly open my mouth to speak.
MC: What you mentioned, could it be the experiment between us that hasn't yielded any results yet?
Lucien gazes at me without confirming or denying anything, moving closer in my direction. Without getting an answer, a kiss descends upon me without any hesitation.
It's as if the long-restrained emotions have finally found an outlet, his scorching lips moving passionately and entwining, and almost stealing all my breath away.
I have no choice but to part my lips, and the next second, Lucien takes advantage and delves even deeper, as if wanting to entangle and capture my tongue.
I find myself clinging to his neck, lifting my head as if surrendering to a hunter, feebly responding to this kiss.
Until I finally find a moment to catch my breath, I tilt my head away, struggling to open my mouth as if trying to gain more breathing space.
MC: Wait... this isn't scientific-
The embrace around my body seems to tremble. Lucien lifts his head, as if seeing through my intentions, his eyes filled with surprises and tinged with a sense of provocation. He shows me a rogue smile.
Lucien: ...Do we still need to discuss that experiment at this moment? Then let's continue.
Despite his words, he entangles me with a tidal-like kiss, voraciously devouring my words.
It seems like a layer of mist has clouded my vision, but I can't ignore the stirring of his fingers, so I can only beg softly for mercy.
MC: (blushing) I-I didn't mean to discuss…
Lucien: (whispers hoarsely) I told you before, giving up halfway is not a good habit, Miss Professor.
Lucien: So, make sure you let me hear it all, your judgments and conclusions…
With his words, his fingers press in as if punishing. I moan and my fingers clutching onto his solid back begin to tremble.
MC: (still blushing)....I-I remember that in the experiment, the variables need to progress continuously... to see more significant results.
MC: I-I haven't done anything now... w-why... why is it more... than when I just gave you "physical contact" earlier, I seem to be-
Lucien: Getting a stronger reaction?
Lucien takes over my words, and there seems to be a hint of amusement in his unsatisfied tone.
His deep breath comes close to my ear, and his fingertips teasingly dance around, then suddenly press in again.
Lucien: (whispers hoarsely) Because this Miss Professor hasn't considered the most core variable yet.
It’s as if fireworks are blooming in my depth, my heartbeat echoes with a humming sound. I pant a little, feeling a bit dazed, and open my mouth.
MC: ...And what is that?
A kiss that seems both like a reward and comfort lands gently on my lips.
Lucien: (exhales lightly and then whispers huskily) Your influence.
The flickering lights reflect in his glistening eyes as if trying to peer into my soul.
Lucien: "Lovers are like mirrors, reflecting their desires for each other."
Lucien: Every bit of my desire is tied with you.
Lucien: When you wish to explore the limits of my self-control, I'll be equally eager to satisfy your curiosity…
Lucien: Just like how I long to explore everything about you.
Lucien: But when you personally unlock this restraint named "self-control", naturally, I'll have even more desires.
His face looms larger in my field of vision. I tremble involuntarily, feeling his touch once again, accompanied by ambiguous whispers.
Lucien: (whispers lowly and hoarsely) ...Compared to seeking the result that we both unanimously don't care about... Right now, I'd rather immerse myself in every moment spent with you.
The kiss between our lips gradually deepens, and I involuntarily close my eyes. I feel like floating into the high clouds and falling into a soft marsh.
Every little gap in my consciousness is deeply imprinted with Lucien's traces.
In the hazy sunlight, it's as if I can hear his unfinished whisper.
Lucien: For example, in the present kiss.
[Lux's Ramble Corner]
For once I can actually see why it gets past the censor HAHA. Compared to the UR that's more explicit, PG is very careful with the kiss SP, using vague wording that can be interpreted innocently if you don't know the context😂 although you can also interpret MC's 'increasing variable' in the reference room as simply touching, or grinding against him; I think she was really moving up and down to f- him because her appearance also a mess and his finger slid very easily inside her until she reached the climax (the 'fireworks') in the rooftop garden ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).
ALSO it’s mentioned that MC wears a long dress before she went into the reference room, see the how in the CG it gets rolled up lol. The angle of the CG is smart asf bc it hides their front appearance.
ANYWAY H-WORD ASIDE, this date is really good. I enjoy their dynamic as 'opponent' and their battle of wits. Although you can say that Lucien is 'winning', at the same time he said it himself that his desire is under MC's control and influence. If MC wants to continue the experiments he's more than happy to oblige (and surprisingly he has a *really* good self-control), but since she's kind of already given up then it's just natural that he also let go of his restraint. The choice ultimately will always be in her hand.
In the MQ there's a conflict between satisfying MC's (and his) curiosity and satisfying their longing for each other. It's evident from the way Lucien immediately books the earliest flight home and MC literally takes a flight to Granada just to meet him. The experiment started smoothly, but they clearly grew to miss each other again too, and they began caring less and less about the experiment.
Although Lucien can also stop the experiment, he still wants her to be the one to put it to a stop. Because, again, her desire is his, if she wants to explore him more deeply, he will oblige. But, still, since he also misses her, he also entices her to stop the experiment, either by purposefully leaving the ID card so she will meet him in the reference room, or by tying himself up while stripping 😂.
'However, he's so clever that even if I don't speak, he should be able to see my silent surrender, right? ...Then why doesn't he 'respond' to me quickly?'
-
Really? But MC was very bold when she 'taught' me just now.
Bold enough…. to make me want to watch a bit longer, to see how far your experiment will progress.
As she increases the variables, she eventually silently surrenders, thinking that they could enjoy more time together if it wasn't because of the experiment. I think Lucien noticed this too, but at that point, he was also curious to see how far she could go.
"Lovers are like mirrors, reflecting their desires for each other."
Still, this curiosity doesn't last long because, in the end, his desire is tied to hers. The experiment doesn't matter anymore because she unconsciously desires more to spend every moment with him and for him to respond to her rather than to really test his self-control. And because of this he also let go of his self-control, showing a greater reaction even if she hasn't done anything because that's what she desires.
Also lastly, about the scratch marks and hickeys on his lower back.... the date clearly implies that they don’t immediately f-ck because of MC’s experiments. MC f-ing him with her on top won’t leave such marks too, because to move in such a state, putting your hand here is not comfortable and that didn’t explain the hickeys (that also look older btw). There’s no other explanation than they’re from the last time they fucked before get separated- It must be rough and intense if they left marks that last for a month LOL. And with Lucien's tendencies to be more emotional when he parts with MC, it makes sense.
I think that’s all from me? Just my take on the plot lololol. Hope y’all enjoy this date as much as I do~
#HELLOOOOO#is this worth the kiss sp? YEAH IT IS#put my rambling at the end bc i don't want to spoil much lol#mlqc lucien#mr love queen's choice#mlqc#mlqc translation#mlqc cn#mlqc spoiler#mlqc translations#love and producer#mlqc xu mo#xu mo
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hey there mumscott / redstone snap enjoyers! my name’s saph and i’m the author of the very first mumscott fic on ao3! i’ve noticed that the ship has gotten kind of popular lately and it’s made me so happy to see! i wanted to reflect on my experience with the pairing a bit
when i wrote affirmations and compliments about a year ago, i was actually kind of hesitant to post it. it was really self indulgent to be honest, and i didn’t really have much basis for the pairing… they just seemed so cute to me and i adored the idea of scott being able to easily fluster and flatter mumbo. anyways, i always get a little nervous posting brand new rarepair content of a pairing that doesn’t really exist, but i figured at least a couple people would see the vision and/or enjoy what i wrote!
well turns out, uh, a lot of people saw the vision! over the months i’ve received some absolutely lovely comments on the fic, which apparently sparked a thread about it in @soemthingsparkly ‘s discord server, and the ship has gained a lot more interest! i’m not very active on socials and didn’t even realize this until recently. but when i did, it made me incredibly happy to see!
anyways, it’s a joy to see the pairing — even if still a rarepair — gain more traction! i still think they’re incredibly cute, and especially seeing as there’s more people interested in the pairing than when i initially wrote them i’d like to write more oneshots/drabbles! and you know, i maybe get more than, 4 fics in the tag lol—
anyways just wanted to say that it’s made me really happy to see, and i’m very grateful for all of the kind comments you all have left on my oneshots in the last year or so! 🫶🫶
if you haven’t yet read my fic and are interested to, i’ve linked it below :)
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Hiii Miru!!! ♥︎
How is your day going?
Sorry if I’m bothering you, but I just wanted to ask you something that was in my mind for a while, what’s your opinion about the today’s Once-ler Fandom?
I mean, the new oncelings (like me) and all the new stuff that is here, you probably think that all of this is so different in comparison with how the fandom was back in 2012!
And also… do you miss something from the fandom? :p
Something that you don’t see here anymore or not as much as it used to be?
Hiii suemooon! Today was yet another tiring work day =w= but my coworker gave me hot chocolate mix and marshmallows today as a christmas present so that was nice! I hope you're doing well too.
To compare today's onceler fandom vs 2012's onceler fandom...man I could talk forever about this haha! This is all just from my own point of view of course but I would say, yes a lot of things are different, but a lot of things are the same, too.
UHHMMM extremely long post so it's under a readmore LOL
For the differences, a lot of them are simply due to the way the internet has changed in 12 years. In 2012, most oncelings were in their early 20s, and if you were younger than 16 you were extremely rare and we would be like "WOAH?? THEY'RE 15?? I HAVE NEVER SEEN A 15 YEAR OLD ON SOCIAL MEDIA BEFORE". But today's oncelings are like, mostly teens now, I feel? I think it's because of tiktok, which didn't exist internationally until 2018, and also because of parents giving ipads to their kids at the age of 2. But yeah, to compare today to 2012 is like comparing gen z to millennials, the content and jokes were different and, due to 2012 being in the past, what was socially acceptable was different, too.
Another thing that's different is the way young people act towards characters nowadays, but let me specify some more. I really dislike the term "content" when referring to someone's personal creations because it just sounds so corporate. And I don't know how to feel when I see some new oncelings treat an old popular askblog character as if they're public property produced by some big company, instead of as an OC that someone worked really hard on. For example, Truffula Flu Camp Entre and Thneedville High AU are like "established media" to a lot of people out there now, as if they're well-known series recognizable to the masses (no, they're not). And as a result, I've seen people headcanon whatever they want on other people's OCs and ship them however they want without even knowing if the mods are okay with those ships anymore (it's better to be real careful, if you want my advice..). I've also seen new oncelings give other people's OCs to public merch-selling sites without the mods' permission, and I've even seen new oncelings try to take inactive askblog OCs as their own. Why? :( Just make your own OCs. You can do it! Hold my hand.
New oncelings don't understand what they're stepping into when they look at our old content from over a decade ago. Our personal feelings and our private friendships from those times, whether good or bad, are precious to us and I guess it's just a new phenomenon that we have to deal with now, so I don't have the answers for this yet. But I would encourage everyone to also look at new and current OCs in the fandom - which many people do, and I love to see that!! I also love seeing people making friends with each other and having fun with each other, that's what reminds me of the better days of 2012.
Another difference is the...landscape? We have tumblr DMs now and we have discord communities so a lot of things are hidden now from public view. RPs used to be public on tumblr but now we rp on discord and only people in the server can read them, and there are pros and cons to that. Also the fandom isn't dominated by only a handful of askblogs anymore. Things are WAY more balanced and evenly distributed now compared to 2012, where Swag Once-ler was the king of the fandom with 200 asks sent to him every hour and 4000 followers accumulated in just 5 months. (And I'm not dissing on Swag, I loved Swag too. I'm just stating my observations. In fact I miss him a lot ;-;)
As for what's the same...xD The excitement and passion that a lot of new oncelings have! I find that so cute. People being creative is the same, people gushing over the onceler and fandom ocs is the same, even if internet slang has changed. People being ambitious with projects is the same, even if those projects are never finished (but this is just general human nature). And PEOPLE BEING SWEET TO EACH OTHER is the same! I was nervous during 2020 since a lot of "ironic" fans joined that year but I'm happy to have seen some genuinely sweet people around in more recent years, just like there were in 2012. 😊
I also see a lot of the same movie analysis discussions each year, which makes sense since new people keep entering the fandom, haha! "The lorax movie could've been better", "the 1972 film is better", "I wish they kept biggering", "they should've expanded the factory scenes and taken out the car chase scene", "i hate the onceler's mom", "the movie's point gets muddled because too many people think his mom's to blame", "i can't believe zac efron and taylor swift didn't sing in the movie", and on and on, those never change, and I've seen these same discussions so often that I support the antithesis of each topic now, just to be a rebel. 😇 But usually I don't engage in those anymore, I just think "haha aww! they're having fun :]" and leave them be! But like, it truly reminds me of the earlier days. It's me who has changed, in this case.
And finally, "do you miss something from the fandom? Something that you don’t see here anymore or not as much as it used to be?" I mentioned Swag already, I also miss a lot of other askblogs that belonged to my friends, and most of all I miss a lot of my friends who've drifted away, and I hope they're all doing well. I had a lot of good times with friends over the years. Some of them were rp partners and I miss our rps and I miss their characters dearly, I can't think about it too hard or else I might cry. What else...I want to say that I miss the crazy nightblogging events we used to have but I don't know if I could keep up with those anymore if they happened again haha. Same with askblogs answering asks live, almost no one does that now because people want so much to make every ask pretty with a new pretty artwork. But like, even if that comes back, again I don't know if I could keep up. So I suppose everything had its place!
Things will continue to shift and change, and you never know what the future holds so it's best to just keep going. I'm still making new friends and new good memories in the fandom each year, and I'm grateful for that.
THANK YOU SO MUCH for this ask and thanks (and sorry) to anyone who read through all of this!!
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what Was ii-critical anyways. all i know is that they apparently said bfb should be like ddlc or something along the lines of that.
ii-critical was a blog that me and my old friend mira (alongside a few others at one point) used to run. it was around the time that su critical was a popular tag and mira had shit to say about inanimate insanity, so they made the blog to share their criticisms of the show. i joined as a mod shortly after. keep in mind that i was 14, and mira was 13.
ii-critical also had an accompanying discord server which i think played a big part in the blogs infamy, mostly because it was HORRIBLY moderated (again, we were children.) we had nsfw channels that were open to everyone INCLUDING minors. i dont even think we were listing our ages in our bios for a while. it was a nightmare.
there was a lot of behind the scenes nonsense and infighting that resulted in me being kicked as a moderator and eventually the death of the blog. mira and i made amends about a year afterwards, so even if we don't talk anymore, we arent on bad terms. while we were both at fault for a lot of things, i feel like it's important to mention that skatercheese was an active user in the server and had a lot of involvement in it. them sticking their hands in drama between people who were just barely teenagers feels really disturbing in hindsight.
btw i was the guy who said that bfb should be like doki doki literature club. i'm really autistic about the concept of metafiction (welcome home is one of my current interests so that is very much still a thing) and my dumb ass decided to share that idea as a "this is what the show should be like" and not a "lol wouldnt it be cool if this happened". anyways given how hated post-split is i think my idea was still better and i was unappreciated in my time (/j)
tldr i helped run the most infamous object show blog on tumblr along with an even worse discord server. a lot of people got hurt because of how irresponsible i was, and i'm gonna have to live with that forever. i really hope everyone who got hurt because of my negligence is doing okay now, or at least better than they were back then. me and the other mods and server members can laugh about how awful it was now, but i always have to keep in mind that there was a lot of very real damage done to real people and it wasn't just a haha funny bad blog.
one more thing is that kint (yes that kint yes they were also in the server) drew this for the server, and i'm still holding onto it all these years later. i don't even know who most of the people pictured are anymore, but i'm never deleting it.
(that's me in the middle, i was mod gamzee. i had that 14 year old homestuck kinnie stink about me, just to add to the miserable vibes.)
the moral of the story is that you should never let young teens who watch way too much lily orchard run a discorse blog of any kind.
#for context i was tied to a pole because bullying me was one of the servers favorite pass times#i was in on it and thought it was funny but looking back it probably contributed to why my self esteem is so terrible as an adult. womp wom
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I need some advice. I really want to try my hand at writing pompep but I'm hesitant because I've written several fics in a different fandom and no one seems interested in them anymore. I'm so discouraged I've considered giving up writing altogether. What should I do?
The "success" of a fanfic is typically dependent on the following, in order of importance:
The size (popularity) of the fandom
The age of the fandom*
The popularity of whatever ships you're writing
The actual writing
*Naturally there are outliers like the Danny Phantom fandom, which went 19 years without any new canon media and was still incredibly popular.
Three out of four of these options are completely out of your control (because I believe our fandoms and ships choose us, not the other way around). Don't let yourself be discouraged by the capricious nature of popular culture.
You can be a master wordsmith with 20+ years' experience and writing degrees all over your wall, but if you're only writing rarepairs (100 works or fewer on AO3) with an unpopular trope for a teeny tiny fandom that saw its last heyday in 1988, it's going to be a lonely experience. It's not your fault, and it doesn't mean your works are worthless. All it means is fewer people are seeing them.
This is the formula for a "successful" fanfic:
Write for a popular fandom or ship
Self-advertise on other social media sites
Update regularly
But none of that matters if you aren't having fun. So here's my personal advice to you, anon:
Write for your own joy. Or sick amusement. We don't judge here. But do it because you want to. Don't force it out of a need for approval, validation, or engagement. None of those things is guaranteed to us when we publish something.
Talk about your work on other sites. Make it accessible. Post links and snippets and headcanons and "behind the scenes" stuff. Add a "comments and feedback welcome" line in your author's notes to encourage people to share their thoughts.
Tag often and tag correctly. If you're on AO3, try to use Canonical Tags (tags that are already in the system; these yield more favorable search results).
Become part of the community. Follow fellow fans, join a Discord server, reblog others' works, read their fics, leave comments. (You may already be doing this. If so, keep it up!) Mingle and enjoy yourself. Fandom is community. Elevating others also elevates you.
Update as often as you can, but be careful not to turn it into a chore. If working on a multi-chapter fic becomes an agony, take a break. The motivation will return. (This is where having friends really helps. You can share your writing woes and get unexpected morale boosts.)
Another tip: Try not to focus too much on the numbers. I'm guilty of this myself, and every time I catch myself getting a little too preoccupied with my hits-to-kudos ratio, I have to remind myself that it's not all about numbers. Multi-chapter works have especially poor HTK ratios because people re-read chapters but can only leave one (1) kudo.
Final tip: As with embarking on any new journey, it helps to know the landscape. Be sure to get your hands on all the canon material you can. (Then you can ignore it as you wish lol.)
Happy writing, anon! Best of luck to you 💗⭐🍀🌈🎈
#they don't have all the lucky charms in emoji form yet so that's the best i could do#asks#writing tips#writing advice#fanfiction#ao3#tropes#rare pairs#fandom
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last thing i'm going to say about this since now he can't keep my name out of his mouth, in public no less
i've never claimed to support "fiction being fiction" or fiction being wholly separate from the views of people behind it in reality. i've posted numerous times on here about the way people in the bakugan fandom and the show itself tackles themes of imperialism and colonialism, including my experiences with westerners and this topic in the eight years i've been on here. one of my most popular posts across platforms is literally the bakugan misogyny essay. ares, you've reblogged and agreed with these said posts. now you're going "wahh it's just a hobbyani!!" when i bring up how i think your interpreration of it sucks?
i've provided a space for discussion on "dark topics" like rape, grooming, abuse, pedophilia etc in my server because i believe that good storytelling doesn't necessarily mean the exclusion of these topics. i've also explained numerous times in group discussions (with you in them) that i like them specifically within the context of using them for institutional and societal critique. so no, i do not think "fiction is fiction" or whatever you seem to insinuate by that.
also, "my opinions about shit do not indicate how i feel about real world problems" - it may not provide a 1:1 correlation but it does say something about the shallowness of your understanding of them. like i'm not going to proclaim that you're a genocidal pro-israel cunt (even though you might want to look up that person in your discord display name and their opinions on that state) but the way you've approached discussing fictional narratives surrounding war is more telling about the shallowness of your understanding about how imperialism works. you've constantly brought up your religious and conservative upbringing for being part of why you dislike certain narratives, but when i bring them up to highlight how it's affected your understanding on larger scale problems, i'm full of shit? lol. lmao, even.
"my life experiences have shaped me to have certain preferences" - yeah, not just overt obvious ones, but also tendencies you haven't thought to think twice about.
anyway, i haven't blocked you anywhere. if you want to actually fix this, my dms are open. but if you really don't want to talk it over, at least talk shit about me and my friends behind a locked account like our mutual friends have told you to do.
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Okay tumblr, so I (M17) recently was invited to join a discord for talented writers. I caught wind of this event from my friend, we’ll call him C (M22). I am in a couple other discord servers with C, and we have a silly inside joke where I’ll tell him to kill himself out of anger, but always type it as KYS, and he will respond with something like “haha, thanks for telling me to keep myself safe, LOL… surely not…”
Anyways…
C invited to this server at about 11 p.m. and I was pretty tired from a car trip as well, so when I joined this popular server I didn’t bother to read the rules and, without thinking, made one of these kys jokes to my friend in the public chat, not realizing that this may not have been the best move.
I, rightfully, got called out for this, and someone with a special role gave me a pretty harsh (though it was deserved) call out. To avoid getting banned from the discord, I shot them a quick DM, apologizing for my actions.
They then responded with a super high and mighty essay about how I would need to mature if I wanted to stay in the server, and would need to adjust my attitude in the server (which I had already pledged to do in the apology) and that the context, of it being my friend and late at night after a very long day, didn’t matter at all, saying “[I’ll let it slide this time,] but only because I’m an adult who has had a long time to mature, unlike you, obviously.”
Then, the bullshit.
I realize that this person is not only not a mod, but only fucking 18, which would make them, at most, barely a year older than me.
I didn’t respond to this and instead trashed them with my friend C in our private dms, but thinking back on it I realized I might’ve been too brash with the fake Mod.
So tumblr, am I the asshole?
What are these acronyms?
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Hai Fae, I remember you posting about simblrs obviously interacting with you just because you're a bigger simblr and I just wanted to hear you expand upon it because I find it valid and very relatable!
hiii~ this is going to be long cus i have a lot to say lol
Well, I've had an experience in the past maybe a year or two ago where someone used me to get into a specific server, made me super uncomfortable. I don't have any ill will for any of these people I mention btw ~ and another one that was more recent too, I felt like with this person they were just my "friend" bc of my popularity. Our conversations were so surface level. I cant even recall them ever asking me how I was doing...
I also want to add just because i use the word popular to describe my blog doesnt mean i think im hot shit. I have a blog dedicated to pixels....i am not a big deal im just sharing gameplay and cas photos bc i want to. Idgaf what comes out of it lol
I personally dont like big simblr/small simblr discourse. Its stupid and annoying asf to me. People that follow "influential" sim blogs only to gain popularity and notes....are going to be miserable on here trying to "make it" in with a specific crowd and those people will see thru all the bs and superficiality tbh. This is also not a generalization of people who want interaction and notes btw, just the specific group of ppl i kno exist on simblr.
tysm for this ask bc i love yapping and going in depth when having conversations lol!
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Early MCYTblr Interviews: wormweeb
our interviewee today is @wormweeb, author of the cowboy au, nominee in the 2020 MCYTblr election, and overall MCYTblr veteran. below is a transcript of the questions and answers!
Q: What do you remember most fondly about “Early MCYTblr”? (2020-2021)
A: I think early mcytblr had the perfect mix of being an insular, small community with enough people actually posting (whether it be shitposts, art, fix, etc.) to keep the community alive. Perfect reblogger-creator ratio, I think. I loved seeing the familiar notifications from blogs that frequently RBed my stuff and familiar Urls in the tags (which I probably checked daily lol). There was this infectious energy that made being in the fandom so fun, with all the inside jokes and interactions and inter-blog familiarity.
Q: Do you recall your experience in the first MCYTblr election? What was it like?
A: Honestly, there was a lot of anxiety. I didn’t have many friends in the fandom in the sense that I didn’t often DM with people or talk in discord servers. I was kind of reclusive, so having to reach out to find running mates was nerve-racking! And then being thrust into a huge discord server with a bunch of other people I didn’t really know at all… It was all bizarrely anxiety-inducing. I didn’t really care about the results that much, since it was kind just a popularity contest (no hate, just true). I think the elections were cute and fun, another sort of fandom activity that I think only could’ve worked in an insular but involved fandom.
Q: Building off the last question– in my time archiving, I’ve seen people both hold you in high regard and condemn your blog wholesale. Is it odd to be talked about as a pseudo-historical figure in MCYTblr culture?
A: It’s mind-boggling! When I did all my posting as wormweeb, roughly July 2020 to august 2021, I was 16/17 and literally never left my house due to quarantine. It’s bizarre to think I was influential in that microcosm of a fandom, because I was truthfully just Some Guy irl. It was weird to see the extremes of how people treated me, with some users (much younger than me, I should add) treating me like a cc, with other people acting like I was a toxic supervillain.
At the time, I was deeply concerned with my image in the fandom. I reveled in the shocked reactions to some of my more… avant guard posts… but I was also really bothered when people talked badly about me. I wanted to be liked and popular, but I also wanted to be shocking and critical. I had contradictory motivations behind my posting, which I probably lead to such polarized reactions to my presence in the fandom.
Ultimately, I think it’s super interesting to see how people talk about me — whether they remember me as ‘that one crazy truthing blog’ or the cowboy au author or a proto-critblr poster or a toxic bad takes poster, etc. I don’t take any of it too personally any more, thankfully.
Q: Do you think that MCYTblr’s cultural shift away from crit and ‘truthing’ has been an overall good or bad thing?
A: I can’t really say. I think it’s natural that as a fandom expands, the most palatable takes will become the dominant ones, and any unpopular criticism / trutherisms will be pushed to the fringe. I can see why some people thought criticism was toxic and truthing was intrusive, but truthfully, I don’t think it reflected any poster’s moral character. I’m not involved in mcytblr anymore, so I don’t know exactly what the state of the current fandom looks like.
Q: Do you ever find yourself missing 2020-2021 MCYTblr? If so, what do you miss the most?
A: I often do miss that era of my life. Truthfully, I miss the attention and (infinitesimally small, microcosmic) cultural import I had. There was an exciting thrill that came with getting notifications every second of the day — that’s not an exaggeration either. I liked having people leave deranged asks in my ask box, or ask my opinion on some random streamer micro controversy, or people asking me when the next chapter of my fanfic would come out (lol). I, of course, miss the other elements of being in an active fandom — the fanfics, the fan artists, the familiarity between blogs,
However… I also know I was mentally unhealthy during that time. I was isolated, so it was fun and exciting to be an ultra-micro celebrity, but at the same time, I took it way too seriously. Because I painted myself as some sort of moral guardian, the great Intellectual Critiquer of content creators, I was terrified to make any bad takes… which, ironically, I made a lot of. I had painted myself into a corner both being dteam critical and (unfortunately) a genuine dteam stan at the time.
Q: Several in-jokes have lost their context (jewge, ancap dream, tradwife george/dream, homophobic dream and sapnap, republican dream, mega milk sapnap/george, etc). Would you like to provide their context, for archival and media literacy purposes?
A: Here’s a rundown for all of them!
“Jewge” was actually sparked by warpedfungusonastick, which I helped popularized. There are a few old videos where George’s friends called him jewge, and that combined with his ashkenazi last name led me to speculate he was jewish — for what its worth, im also jewish. Unfortunately, I think those videos of baby jewge have been lost to time. But nonetheless, that spawned a mini-jewge fandom, which jewge fanart!
Tradwife George and dream… I don’t know even know. I think the idea of “male wives” was trending on general Tumblr at the time. There was already this fandom idea of Dream being a “needy top” and George being the sugar baby/bitchy/uninterested love interest, which I just transplanted onto the idea of tradwifery. Dream as the doting tradwife, George as the unloving tradwife, etc.
Republican/Anarcho-capitalist dream — Ah, this one is kind of embarrassing!! I was really into jreg, and I was, for the first time ever, exposed to political ideas outside of the generic democrat vs republican dichotomy. I was really fascinated by right-wing libertarian or “ancap” ideology, and I already saw dream as a kind of self-made capitalist success story. At least, that’s what he portrayed himself as. My critique of dream and calling him ancap/republican was kind of a baby’s first leftism moment for me… but I nonetheless think the jokes were mostly funny.
Homophobic dream / sapnap — They gave me republican vibes. Dream especially, with some of his older, unsavory tweets, reeked of edgy gamergate humor.
Megamilk sapnap — I didn’t really pioneer this one! I believe this was mostly a Tumblr user who I think was pandascanpvp, or it was Plates gayminecraftmen (or both).
I’ll use this opportunity to catalogue a few more obscure wormweeb-pioneered AUs.
Homestuck au! I think I imagined it as dream = dirk, George = Jake English. Colournotfound (rip gone but not forgotten) did so much of the sustaining of the au.
Scott Pilgrim au. Dream = Scott, George = Ramona. Fundy = envy. This one got fan art!
Q: What was your physical, mental, and emotional reaction when kaceytron pulled up your crit post on stream?
A: Baffled. Excited. God, I wish I had clipped it! I still have a screenshot. I desperately hoped she would read it to dream (who joined the stream later). That felt like I had peaked as a cc stan blog… having a C-list streamer pull up my post on stream. Literally google searching “dream queer baiting” because she didn’t even know what she was accusing him of, or how to support her argument.
Q: Is there anything else you particularly want to share or talk about?
A: I was just want to say that although I don’t watch or support any member of the dteam any more, I still am proud of the cowboy au. It’s kind of a relic of the time (especially the gnf and Maya mxmtoon stuff). The general response to the fanfiction was… wow!! Everyone who commented on that fanfiction was so exceedingly kind. People even drew fan art. I am still happy to have written something that, despite the inherent cringeness of it, positively affected so many people.
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I just read your bio and I would LOVE to hear about your murder mystery au
OH WOULD I EVER
The Murder Mystery AU is well, an AU that takes place in a small town rather than a high school. Everybody knows eachother and alot of community stuff takes place and *GASP!* they are paid above the Californian mininum wage of $16 AND can walk places!! Other than that the townspeople feel as if nothing much happens. Oh and Milton is mayor sadly [Fun fact: When I first got into EAH, the murder mystery au is the first thing I came up with and wanted to write but I couldn’t figure out the plot until uh March]
Their normalcy is interuppted however by shock, horror, and the paranoia that follows when Rumplestiltskin suddenly dies and is discovwred by either Briar or someone else and the police department/Literally just Chase rule it as a murder. Blondie Lockes, an overeagerly ambitious journalist and our protagonist of this tale, begins waking still waters to try finding out the complete and whole truth on her but finds more than one mystery; especially within her mysterious companion, C.A Cupid.
Honestly when it comes to the AU I try to keep myself from accidentally spoiling anything to try retaining the mystery and so far nothing has slipped from what I can tell and only me, Demon, and SilverTheLovebug have access to the doc that has all my notes and character descs but I blanked out the spoilers so maybe I’ll share it with more people for fun lol.
What Demon and I plan to do after all this meticulous planning, is finish all the chapters behind the scenes to avoid 1. Burn out & 2. Dissapointment. Then when we finish that with all the breaks and procrastination in the world, we’ll post the chapters weekly on Thursdays I think. Guess I’ll say a few things to wrap up my ramble here;
•There’ll be a good amount of focus on the Charming Family
•Ginger owns a cafe thats very popular in town and Cedar only visits to stare at the very pretty barista/server, Cerise. And also Ginger makes the most fire cinnamon rolls
-To add; Canonically in the AU, Ginger pays herself barely mininum wage to keep the cafe open and pay Cerise. She desperately needs a very long nap lmao
•If theres a sequel then it’ll include Goldi Lockes
•I literally forgot to write the Wonderlandians character blurbs [Whoopsie]
•There’ll be Ghost Story dub references and might add Nate Nutcracker :3
#blajah babbles#Murder Mystery AU#Its 1 AM and I feel like I left out some stuff but I’m heading to bed now#Thank you sm for asking Athena :D#I’m actually very hopeful to complete this project of mine
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For a popular ship in my fandom (the closest thing to an OTP I'll ever have prob) there's a discord which has the rules, "nothing illegal here such as incest, pedophilia, or rape." The other rule was "no arguing about the rules."
They're obviously free to moderate the space however they want. They're the ones running the server. If I don't like it, I'm free to bounce, which is exactly what I promptly did lol.
However, the more I sat with this, the more it occurred to me just what a ridiculous case of bad faith anti virtue signaling this was.
With my blog for that fandom, on my mutual list alone, there are fellow fic writers from Scandanavia, Brazil, the UK, Mexico, and France. The source material is from Japan. Should people in the discord be obeying one of *those* counties' laws or the source material's?
The fact that I can assume the answer is no and that we're defaulting to U.S. law is actually outrageously ethnocentric, even moreso than it might be in other fandoms given how small it is these days. If you're in a chat with 50 people, 25 of whom aren't residents from your country, and you say "oh and of course don't be a filthy, disgusting law-breaker and bad citizen uwu" that's about half the group you've just been a pretty big asshole to 😬 "Me, me, me."
Even if we are defaulting to U.S. law, it's a ludicrous request. Take the rules literally and we shouldn't even be talking about canon because "break the law and damn the consequences" is the biggest running bit in the story lmao. Again, they're asking us to assume--this time that they're only talking about the REALLY bad stuff, sex, which is uniquely bad and evil and dirty and wrong even more than murder or torture (both of which also happen in the show) of course.
I can think of ten classic fics in this fandom which technically wouldn't/dubiously pass their rules. Wildly popular high school AUs and stuff that I suspect they wouldn't think counted, but how are the members of the discord supposed to know that? If we're all in a room, and you say "alright, I'm running this meeting! Also I'm laying my Christian Gun on the table, just to have it out for any FILTHY, HELL-BOUND PERVERTS taking refuge here, kay? What? Nuh-uh NO arguing about the gun you unruly children!" ....people with good ideas are going to leave, or not share them out of fear. Way to speed up the death of our fandom.
Finally, that example leads me to something even more fundamental that bothered me a lot about this: are they seriously under the impression that people are going to plug their filthy copefics/darkfics in a public space about a general popular ship of two characters who canonically haven't even kissed? It's inherently accusatory and condescending and noxious.
Anyways, sorry this got long. Thanks for having this inbox open so people like me can share stuff like this that's hard to talk about in small fandoms.
.
#mod erin#ask#just anti things#posted without comment#incest mention#pedophillia mention#rape mention#torture mention#murder mention
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hey krash, i wanted to reach out and say that i'm so sorry that you got such a hurtful reaction from one of the l&co servers for speaking up about something that genuinely needed to be addressed. i won't badmouth anyone in particular but this is not the first time this fandom has dogpiled someone over a misunderstanding, and when it happened to me i had severe anxiety over it for about a week even after it was resolved, and eventually left because of it. it left a pretty bad taste in my mouth for the fandom in general, so i mostly just stick to my small group of mutuals now lol. i wish this fandom truly was different from other fandoms, but this kind of thing is unfortunately inevitable once something reaches a certain level of popularity. but that certainly doesn't make it okay, and you didn't do anything to deserve the reaction you got. i hope you can feel peace about it soon, and i'm sorry again that it happened at all. 🫂
(please don't feel pressured to answer this if you'd rather the matter be left alone, i totally understand. i just wanted to send you an ask because i didn't know if you're comfortable with dms.)
hi im so sorry i forgot to answer!!! thank you so much this means so much to me. 💙💙💙 i read this for the first time when i was feeling pretty attacked and it really cheered me up <3
hmm other people have been telling me about how they got attacked in this fandom too. and maybe this shouldn't have surprised me as much as it did. but it's something fans never talk about and claim doesn’t exist, so i thought it didn’t. i was horribly fooled lol. as, uh, i am about to rant about; do you mind? u don’t have to read it, i won’t be offended, but halfway thru answering this ask it turned into a rant i wanted to release into the world lol, so sorry about that 😭😭😭
very important disclaimer!!! this is NOT about everyone. ABSOLUTELY NOT. most of you are absolutely amazing people, and i assure you if ur worried this is about you, it’s prob not lol
ANYWAYS!!!
im kind of feeling i was betrayed?? ig? i rlly believed everyone was so kind, and look what i know now. it genuinely seems like people are gaslighting themselves. how else do they only see our ‘harm?’ yeah, our fandom is known for being passionate, but saying we’re known for kindness is starting to make me sick. maybe we were, i know a lot of us still are, but throwing that out there in the middle of your hypocritical hate post seems like justification for the shit things people have been saying. you can say no wrong so long as you’re here. only people who don’t agree with you. so yeah, fuck krash and ljc and anyone else who doesn't agree!!! that totally shows how kind you are and how much you loved the fandom before we messed it up. nobodys visibly mad, cuz we're too scared to say shit!!!
i’ve seen too many examples of the contrary from the “victims,” wailing about how cruel we are the second they disagree with someone. (in a highly hypocritical manner, at that.) “everyone was so happy before this!” no, they weren’t, that’s why i brought it up. “stop bringing hate to this fandom! now let me fucking berate you!” do you even hear yourself? “nobody even cared before, we were all content!” we weren’t all content, we were just silent. it sometimes looks the same.
someone even declared they were leaving the fandom because ‘one person wanted to stop show saving efforts entirely because it traumatized them, and this is no longer a safe place.’ like, what? where did you even get that? for one, there were at least two of us posting together, and that’s just barely knowing anything about what’s happening. thats not even touching on how one of us (idk who the op of that post was talking about, it’s a 50/50 lol) made the fandom an unsafe place for our personal gain. what?
hella kind. hella safe on their part.
another said they saw only old fans agreeing about this so it’s just us being pissed about change. it’s us hating the show. me and ljc being upset about not being the only “big blogs” any more. our fandom is only for the elite, etc. fuck us. yet ljc is getting blackmailed. we’re getting hate replies. friends that try and help get attacked. misinformation spread. how did that even happen? we never once tried to hurt anyone; thank you to those who understand.
but to some, WE’RE the ones in the wrong.
do they SEE themselves? how hypocritical all of this is? or are their heads that far up in the ass of their petition and beloved fake idea of this fandom that they care about more than all of us?
now, this is where i add another “not everyone” message. not everyone is like this, this is not me saying i hate the petition or people who support it. hell, i signed the petition. twice. and once more from my mothers email.
i don’t regret the i love you posts i made, because i still do love this fandom, i am still absolutely here for the rest of yall. but DAMN if we weren’t hiding something under happy Save The Show, I Love Locknation! messages. perfectly smiling faces until they bite. i was surprised to see how many people did.
as if our previous problems weren’t enough, now it turned into this lol. no, that’s a lie, it didn’t. it already was, and i HATE THAT.
ig im kinda spoiled, i never really experienced hate like this from this fandom before. but now i know it happened BEFORE too, and that just pisses me off. it hurts coming from a group who says they love us. genuinely wacko (not the fun kind) behavior :[
i know this isn’t everyone’s experience, but it is mine, and enough others to make me wanna say this. and this is ofc me and @lucy-j-carlyle 's brand of hate, not yours. but it does happen and the constant chant that IT DOESN'T IT DOESNT IT DOESN'T isn't helping anyone. and now I know.
idk what im even saying anymore lol, sorry for ranting. what i mean to say is, thank you, and i wish things were better. and i love you kind people. im happy it’s most of you.
#💙💙💙💙#if people hate on the person who asks me this !!! you will have to get thru me (i am 5’4)#okay but pls i’ll take the fall. genuinely#they did nothing wrong#im the one who answered in rant form#lockwood and co#literally idk what just happened sorry for the word vomit
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