#but please please please tell me if any of you have any experiences like this

[helen-lucilfer]

the aot men headcanons and ranking (+ the aot modern alternate universe headcanons and rankings)

———

how good of fathers would they be out of 10?

eren - 5/10. he’s not bad; just…he’s impulsive. he’s the dad who’s fun and all, playing with his kids and ruffling them on the head. but he’s probably going to teach his kids how to punch other people in the most painful way too. then when the kid’s mother scolds eren for it, he just shrugs.

armin - 8/10. literally the sweetest guy ever, but i have this feeling deep inside me knowing that he would have a hard time scolding his child. he’d see them tear up and then he’d start tearing up too and feel SO BAD while hugging them. he would be a girl dad though, with his gentle personality and all.

jean - 8.5/10. he’s a girl dad, no you can’t change my mind. he’d spoil his kids ROTTEN—and i’d bet all of my money that he would teach his son chivalrous values while treating his daughter like a little princess, just like how he was raised (ughhhh the jean and his mom OVA has my heart🥺💕)

conny - 4/10. he’s such a sweetie, but the biggest problem is his lack of experience since HE’S always the one getting taken care of, plus he’s not the brightest. i just KNOW that when he holds his baby, they start crying uncontrollably, and he freaks out because he doesn’t know what to do.

levi - 7/10. what? he’s literally already a dad to eren and mikasa and armin and conny and jean and sasha and…okay, i think you get it. but losing so many people in his life will definitely impact his parenting style. i guarantee that he will be overprotective of his kids due to being scared of losing them.

reiner (MY MAN🤤) - 9/10. JUST LOOK AT HIM WITH GABI AND FALCO AND ZOFIA AND UDO🥺. he CAN BE responsible and a good leader if he tries, which are natural qualities of a good father. but similar to levi, after losing so many people, he’d be pretty protective of his kids. especially growing up as an eldian in marley, he’d be so overly concerned for his kids.

———

are they good at cooking?

eren - no. do NOT let this man into the kitchen under any circumstances unless you want to look like armin during season 3.

armin - yes, definitely. armin deserves to have a professional chef license. the moment anyone is craving something, here he is.

jean - no. this guy had literally been spoiled ever since day one, since his mom literally always feeds him and pampers him.

conny - NO. please, NEVER let this man within 2 yards of the kitchen. he WILL burn down the kitchen. if he doesn’t, the food will be inedible.

levi - barely. he had to survive in the underground and all, so he can cook just a little bit. maybe a fried egg or heating some meat.

reiner - barely. similar to levi, having to survive warrior candidate training and being in a war for YEARS, he probably knows how to cook some sort of meat above a fire.

———

(modern AU) can they drive?

eren - he’s average at driving. he gets road rage and starts speeding like crazy before he finally gets a ticket.

armin - he’d be too nervous on the road. he’d be too scared of accidentally hitting another car or speeding.

jean - surprisingly good. probably one of the only one of the main cast who doesn’t ever get into a car crash or a ticket.

conny - NO. please don’t ever get into this man’s car. you WILL come out throwing up and hugging the ground.

levi - he’s not the best at driving, but he can get the job done. he has road rage, but he isn’t too obvious about it. but he WILL drum his fingers on the steering wheel.

reiner - definitely. he’s 100% that one person that everyone goes to whenever they need someone to drive them somewhere.

———

random hc about them in the modern AU

eren - goth mikasa once asked eren to cosplay as light and misa with her. eren didn’t even know who they were, so he then agreed. it didn’t end well for eren.

armin - whenever he has a crush, he never tells them out of fear because he’s a weirdo. because of that, he always slowly watches them fall in love with someone else😕

jean - every morning, he spends 2 hours on his hair. he does it not only to impress mikasa, but also because he loves looking at his entire face. eren called him a horse one day and jean stopped.

conny - the reason he has a bald head is because he found a razor in his house one day. he remembered seeing people on YouTube using it and he found it cool, trying to shave his chin. suddenly his arm went out of control and the razor went to his hair.

levi - he was once cleaning the bathrooms and heard a student crying in one of the stalls. he felt bad but just didn’t really say anything because he didn’t know what to say. when he found out who the student was, he always made sure to pay extra attention to them.

reiner (my man canonically follows historia all the time during this AU😔) - he works out all the time in the school gym instead of the public gym because he wants to impress historia.

[pawpiefawn]

𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼, 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 .𖥔 ݁ ˖

❤︎ alhaitham x reader 2.5k words five acts of love, where alhaitham loves you more with each. reupload + edited from my previous blog. thank u coco for reminding me :"

ask around the bustling hub of sumeru city, and the native dreamers would often describe being loved as something mesmerising and captivating. it is much like a kaleidoscope, twisting and turning enchantingly in hopes that the beads would fall perfectly in place, but it never always truly does; endearing and a lesson for the lovers all the same. the messy beads twirl and turn but there is just some reason why they can’t get enough of it.

the thinkers talk about love like an anchor dragging you further and deeper down into the depths of adoration and affection and infatuation; to them, there are often few clear differentiations between sinking into love and drowning in it.

but for alhaitham, however – love is natural, like the cycle of growth of the dainty flowers and wild grass beneath his feet. a swanlike, enchanting piece of music that flows from your violin’s bow – with the right person, it is as natural as breathing.

but for alhaitham, however – love is also... unnatural, given his lack of experience. he has adoring fans, he has scholars singing his praises and piles of handwritten letters from secret admirers commending his mind and aesthete – but he has never loved before, not until you.

the first act of love. listening, when nobody else will try to.

alhaitham is a wonderful listener. if you ask him, he’d say that he prefers listening, even – he is content to hear all that you have to say, however nonsensical or ridiculous you sound to others. the scribe’s work is simple, so he never truly minds – to sit quietly with a small smile on his face while you talk his ear off about anything and everything – that is what love is, you are sure.

“hey, i’m sorry.. this is just too much right now.” you know they use this as a replacement for you.

“could you tell me another time?” another time will never come.

“just keep quiet, archons! do you ever shut up?” no, i’m sorry. i probably should.

alhaitham watches from his office as your heart breaks with every unwilling individual, each choosing to walk away while you tore your heart out, still bleeding from your ribcage while laying the offering bare at their feet. how could a human being be so cruel? there is much music, excellent voice, in this little organ – yet you believe you cannot make it speak because they do not choose to listen.

“...i believe you hadn’t quite finished your story from the last time we met.” he speaks plainly, eyes glistening – with pity or with eagerness is something you don’t wish to distinguish. let it be the same, lest the heartbreaking realisation that he is just like the others.

“you remember?” you ask cautiously. please do, i can’t bear to beg anyone anymore.

“i do. that day about your old neighbour’s dog escaping into your garden. you’re welcome to continue, if you’d like.”

he watches your eyes light up as you trip and stumble over your words, quietly surprised and eager to please. there is a soft feeling in his chest – a warm, weighing feeling nestled in his ribcage.

the second act of love. remembering, when it feels like no one else does.

it is no secret that alhaitham’s mind is incredible. highly intelligent, closely observant, adept at noticing discrepancies – any researcher would fight to have him take a spot on their team. he is good at remembering, you think to yourself – alhaitham remembers everything – the things you’d grovel at someone’s feet, to remember the slightest thing about you, for, and everything you wished the world forgot. him remembering everything is incredible – whether that be a good thing, or not; is another.

“when’s your birthday again?” your co-worker taps his fingers against his chin, looking through the sheet of office birthdays.

“it’s–”

“december 26th.” alhaitham walks past, not looking up from his notebook.

you and your co-worker stare in silence. he...

“yeah, december 26th...” you catch a glimpse of the silver-haired scribe around the corner. he remembered. even if it was just an offhand comment about how funny you found your birthday to be right after christmas. he remembered.

“huh.” your co-worker shrugs it off, noting it down on the list as if nothing happened.

something happened. you feel something warm blossoming in your chest – warm, comforting, lovely all the same. a tender, sweet feeling like the heavy blanket on a rainy day that attempts to capture your heart in your throat and keep it captive forever; there is so much you want to say to alhaitham. it’s nice that he remembers – out of all your friends ( was he a friend? ), who could confidently say the date without thinking twice?

“i believe those are nuts. if i recall correctly, aren’t you allergic?” the next time you see a glimpse of his silver hair, alhaitham peers into your bowl of noodles. nuts – how comical it is to think that such a small, minuscule digit could potentially cut off breathing for you.

“i thought i told them ... perhaps i didn’t.” you mumble, hurriedly spitting out half-chewed food into your tissue. you stare tiredly into your bowl – surely you remember letting the waiter know that you had an allergy.

“you did.”

before you could even turn your head to reply to his reassurance, alhaitham flags down the same, tired waiter. he trudges to your table, serving tray tucked between his arm and body.

“can i be of service?”

“excuse me, i believe we mentioned earlier that they couldn’t have nuts.” alhaitham stares at him in the eye, glancing briefly at your bowl with spat-out nuts beside it. the waiter grabs it, letting out a soft sigh of frustration.

“you are a service professional, are you not?” alhaitham interrupts the languid movement; yet he does not break the stare.

“sir, i am just a wa–”

“my apologies. are you are a paid member of this establishment?”

“i am.” the waiter nods in quiet submission. it is better to shut up than to argue with a man who loves.

“you understand the laws regarding a customer’s health and safety, do you not? even if it’s tiresome, if they had gone into an anaphylactic shock here in your cafe, i believe it would have been a matter of time before an investigation is launched and a lawsuit is filed.”

you hear alhaitham soften at the word they. they. you. you are important enough to him that he’d quietly, but fiercely rip into the waiter over your allergy. (alhaitham wishes you felt important enough to care about your health instead of apologising for not speaking loud enough.)

the waiter steels himself and takes your bowl back to the kitchen without another word.

“thank you,” you turn to alhaitham. “that meant a lot.”

you show him a soft smile, and alhaitham feels a wave of silent thankfulness wash over himself – that you sit before him, wearing a bright and sweet smile and not a pained grimace from struggling to breathe, on your features. he feels the same warmth in his chest once again.

“you don’t need to thank me.”

alhaitham remembers, even when it feels like no one else does.

the third act of love. holding, when your skin feels achingly colder.

alhaitham does not strike people as a touchy person; his love language is not physical touch. touch scares him a little, even. the thought that a simple loving gesture could be twisted and morphed into a threatening hold scares even the most intelligent and strong of men – but he is human, and that is enough for him to appreciate lingering touches on his back as and when he needs and wants to.

he sees you – fingers twitching and rubbing against each other, clumsily tapping against your palms then scrunching inwards – you need touch. you need to be held. it was as simple and as crucial as breathing. your fingers press in inwards of itself, and he watches the colour recede and return once again as you loosen your grip.

“come here,” alhaitham gestures, wrapping your hand around his. there’s something comforting about how your hand is smaller than his; it’s not that much smaller, but it’s smaller all the same. if you curled yourself up even more, perhaps you’d be able to fit into the palm of his hands.

“don’t do that. you’ll hurt yourself.”

“do what?” you look at him quizzically.

“i wasn’t sure if you were unaware, but you tend to self-soothe and search for touch.” he sighs quietly, absent-mindedly stroking your purlicue as he turned back to his book.

“although i believe you search for it too much. press too hard, and you’ll start to feel numb.”

“ah.” you stare at your hands – the left, which he holds, and the right, resting on the cool table.

“thank you.”

“i said before, there is no need to thank me. if it is a simple matter regarding your well-being, i would do–” he stops himself. anything, is left hanging in silence.

“i would be happy to resolve that matter.”

even holding you? would he dare hold something so shamefully broken?

“thank you...” you close your eyes. he hesitates; just once.

“you don’t sound pleased, nor satisfied. was it something i said?” you hear his voice soften.

no, it’s not you. you shake your head quietly, resting your head against your right palm on the table.

“it’s alright. you do not have to talk if you don’t wish to.” alhaitham replies. you feel him smoothing your hair back – a touch so soft and tender, you can hardly believe it to be for yourself. it was intoxicating; his touch lacked lust, full in love– you have never been loved (loved?) like this before.

you feel slightly warmer now.

the fourth act of love. comforting, when there seems to be no one in your corner.

“i just wanted them to be different. just this once. is that too much to even ask?”

alhaitham holds you tightly as you sob and lament; he holds tighter than he ever has before, and he mourns. he mourns for the walls you had slowly built up over time dawn with the realisation that it had been justified all along; alhaitham knows how hard you have begged for them to be unneeded.

“i know.”

you hiccup, ducking beneath his arm tiredly – and he holds you gently. he holds you, arm resting on the crook of your neck as you rest against a pillow on his side – he holds you like he has done it all his life. fitting yourself – not small but not big – into his frame, alhaitham thinks, may very well be the most natural thing the world has brought him.

“they had no right to treat you like that. i’m sorry.”

“it’s not your fault.” you sniffle.

archon, it hurt. you were going to get hurt in every lifetime, you know that– no, you deserved it. that has been etched into your mind since day one of starting your work. that was just who you were. the poor, miserable corner-sitter who had nothing else to do but correct their own mistakes. no initiative, no ounce of thought. why had the akademiya even hired you if its own people despised you?

“you don’t deserve to be hurt over and over, you know.”

how did he know?

“you said that aloud.”

you mumble a soft sorry, and he replies, shaking his head.

“it isn’t your fault,” alhaitham echoes your previous sentiment, almost teasingly.

“i believe you’re smart enough to figure that out.”

before you look up at his tousled hair to reply, you feel a soft kiss pressed to your forehead.

a kiss.

his kiss.

“if you find them still bothering you, come and talk to me. the scribe’s position is – it may not be much – but i know with my place within the akademiya, they will listen. i promise you this,” he holds your warm hands in his broader ones.

“if they do not stop, i will leave. i have no regard for a company that will not protect its own workers.”

he wants to say a company that will not protect you, but thinks otherwise. perhaps it is too much right now after his impulsive kiss – that is the one thing that alhaitham mulls over. he has never been impulsive before; always thinking through and filtering and being rational and all the things that makes alhaitham, alhaitham. being impulsive is not a trait others describe him by. 

so why, you–?

the fifth act of love. loving you, even when you believe people cannot.

–because he loves you, and alhaitham cannot, for the life of him and even with all the overbearing advice from kaveh and more bearable guidance from nahida – he cannot put it into words. for the first time in his life, alhaitham stumbles over himself, words tumbling out like love letters hastily shoved into a sack with a cut into it.

“what is so special about me? you’re always here, alhaitham, yet you never grow sick of me.” he finds himself caught off guard when you ask suddenly, caught in today’s throes of anxiety. your words hang cautiously on your tongue like a snake waiting for the moment a displeased reaction appears – whether you hiss or hide, is something alhaitham feels a modicum of curiosity about, pulsing, and pulsing, until he tries.

“you-”

there are too many things that he can think of, he feels. nahida, give me strength.

“you are- you are kind. and generous. you have a heart for people even when they do not have one for you.” he starts, slowly.

“you listen intently, and you enable people to open and talk. they talk because you listen and you support them with all your soul and it is so evident that you love.”

you want to cry.

“i admit i am not good with words, but you deserve every vow i utter tonight. you love so loudly, and you feel no shame for it – you have inspired me, and i dare confess that there have been many times i have desired to pull back, out of worry that i have felt the distinct possibility that i was about to fall in love with you.”

oh. you blink as if that hasn’t been obvious enough.

alhaitham is deeply and madly in love with you.

“i love you, not only because you are special, but also because i believe you deserve every ounce of love i can retrieve from myself. i know it has been made clear to you that others do not feel the same way, and it hurts to believe that some of it has come from those i know – i promise to be different–”

“you already are, alhaitham.” you feel yourself choke up. love is entangling itself around your trachea and holding you hostage, never letting go.

“you have never treated me with the same contempt. i love you, i know you return my feelings and for that i am thankful. i’m sorry that i’m not an easy person to love, please...” you trail off, feeling his body collide into yours. alhaitham holds you. he holds you, hand on your back and the other cradling your head against his shoulder.

“i want to love you,” he whispers into your hair.

“please let me.”

ask alhaitham, however? you see a soft smile adorns his features as he mulls over the question of what love is to him. love, forever yours, evermore.

[cheshireliam]

"Wrapped in Wicked Romance" Story Event: Premium END

Ring Schwartz

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection; expect mistakes, grammatical errors, and some creative liberties. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Read this before interacting

Ring ran alongside me as I started chasing after the kidnapper.

Kate: Ring!? Weren't you going to seek Darius’ decision—

Ring: That’s what I thought at first. But… I can’t just let my l-lo-lover run head first into danger alone.

Ring: I’m coming with you. … Can’t I?

Kate: That’d be reassuring!

…

We found ourselves at an old, rundown clinic.

It appeared that the man had gone to another room, as he was nowhere in sight. 

Ring: There are some documents here. The English used is too complicated for me, can you read them?

Kate: Got it. … The cover says “Research Report”. 

— The documents hinted at the man’s motives for his serial kidnappings. 

The man had a daughter who suffered from a heart condition. 

Believing that the only way for her to survive this condition was to have her heart replaced, he began abducting children close to her age, intending to replace her heart with one of theirs. 

(These are records of his research…) 

Ring: Even here, children are being used as human lab rats for experiments… 

Kate: The child who was just abducted should still be safe. Let's find her! 

…

There were several rooms in the clinic, so we decided to split up and look for the girl. 

Not long after parting ways with Ring, I found the girl bound up in a storage room.

Kidnapped Girl: Who are you…?

Kate: I’m here to save you. You’re alright now…! 

I began desperately untying the ropes. 

However, the man found us while I was doing so.

Kidnapper: What are you doing!? 

Kate: … P-please, listen to me! 

I stood protectively in front of the girl and faced the man directly.

Kidnapper: What’s there to talk about? Give me “my daughter's heart” now! 

The man was so broken that he no longer saw the abducted child as a human being, but as nothing more than a heart. 

Kate: I know about your daughter's illness, and I’m sure it must’ve been so hard on you.

Kate: But… this child is someone’s family member too. She’s a precious person they can’t bear to lose. 

Kidnapper: That’s… 

His eyes shook, the remnants of his conscience seemed to be stopping him from going any further with his crime.

But at that very moment— 

Kidnapper: Ah… ggh! 

The man groaned, blood suddenly spurted out of his mouth. 

Kate: What…? 

I looked and saw a sharp sword pierced through the man’s body from behind. 

At the same time the sword was pulled out, the man collapsed.

Ring: That was close. 

It was Ring who approached the man from behind and stabbed his sword right through him. 

The man laid motionlessly in a pool of his own blood, anyone could tell at a glance that he was dead. 

Kate: Why did you… kill him…? 

Ring: “Why”...? Isn’t it natural?

Ring: I’ll kill anyone Dari orders me to. 

His face, splattered with blood, showed not even the slightest bit of doubt about the murder he just committed.

It was at that moment when I finally realised it.

He, too— was utterly evil.

Ring: Before we went for our date today, Dari told me to eliminate anyone who poses as a threat to you without hesitation.

If something were to happen to me while we were out together, it would undoubtedly strain the relationship between Crown and Vogel.

Darius’ words may have been extreme, but they weren't wrong.

(But…) 

Kate: He was going to stop with his crimes. There was no reason to kill him… 

Ring: That’s not for me to decide. Dari’s orders are absolute. 

He stated matter-of-factly with unwavering determination. 

Just then— 

Kidnapped Girl: UWAAAAAAHH!! 

The girl, likely overwhelmed by everything that had just happened before her eyes, started crying uncontrollably.

Kate: I-I’m so sorry. That must've scared you…! 

I frantically patted her back to console her, but the tears didn't stop. 

Ring: … Let me hold her hand. Maybe I can stop her tears.

Ring hesitantly offered and held the girl’s hand in his.

As soon as he did that, the girl stopped crying in an instant and her expression became calm. 

…

Not long after the girl calmed down, members of Crown arrived at the scene. 

Apparently, Liam felt something was off when Ring and I didn't show up at The Scala. He suspected we might’ve gotten involved in an incident and came looking for us. 

Leaving them to clean up the aftermath, Ring and I made our way back. 

He revealed something to me while we walked.

Ring: I have the ability to turn someone’s emotions into joy by holding their hand. 

Kate: So that’s why the girl stopped crying so quickly.

Ring: Yeah. … The incident had to be dealt with discreetly because I killed the culprit. 

Ring: Had she kept on crying, a passerby might hear her and step in…

Ring: It’s good I managed to calm her down with my ability.

Kate: I think resolving the situation peacefully wasn't the only good thing. 

Ring: …?

Kate: The girl was kidnapped and witnessed a person being killed right in front of her… it was understandable for her to panic.

Kate: But you calmed her down and made her feel safe, so I think she’ll be okay after all that's happened.

Kate: You have a wonderful ability that brings smiles to people's faces.

Ring: … (surprised)

Ring: I’ve already almost forgotten… that my ability could make people smile. 

(Come to think of it, Ring’s actions are always firm when it comes to following Darius’ orders.)

His reasons for pretending to be my lover, for chasing after the kidnapper with me, and for killing said kidnapper… were all because Darius ordered him to.

(But when he praised my outfit and stopped the little girl’s tears… those came from Ring himself.)

(Whenever Ring acted on his own judgment of the situation, he would be lacking in confidence.)

— It’s as though Ring is nothing more than a puppet being controlled by Darius.

(For now, it seems that Ring’s opinions align with Darius’ and that's alright, but…) 

(If Darius and Ring’s opinions were to clash someday…)

(... I’m worried that Ring will end up disregarding his own.)

Ring was someone with a warm and gentle heart who cares about others. It felt like a waste for  him to ignore his personal feelings and opinions. 

Ring: By the way… there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you. 

Kate: …? Go ahead, you can ask me anything! 

Ring: Did you chase after the kidnapper because it was your duty as a member of Crown? 

Ring: You lack physical strength, and I don't think you’re used to being in risky situations either.

Ring: If you’re being forced to put yourself in harm’s way… wouldn't it be better to leave Crown? 

(Ring is indeed kindhearted for worrying about this.) 

Ring: If you want to leave, I could have Dari pull some strings for you… 

Kate: … No, I chased after that criminal because I wanted to.

Kate: It wasn't out of some sort of grand sense of justice… I just didn't want to regret not doing it.

Kate: I didn't want to be the kind of person to turn a blind eye to someone crying out for help. 

Ring: … I see. You’re different from me.

Muttering under his breath, Ring looked dazzled as he gazed at me. 

…

A few days after that date… I was summoned by Darius once again.

Darius: Come on, Ring. Isn't there something you want to ask from Miss Fairytale Keeper?

(Something he wants to ask from me…?) 

I tilted my head in confusion as Ring took a step forward, looking visibly nervous.

Ring: I’m asking you out on a date! 

His date proposal that sounded more like a request to duel left me standing there wide-eyed in shock. 

[lowkeyerror]

I Had To Come Back

Agatha Harkness x Reader

Word count: 2.1k

Notes: 1st person, Agnes, a bit of angst, happy ending, part 2 to I Can't Do This Anymore

Summary: After you left Agatha in the middle of her fight with Wanda, you thought you'd be able to move on with your life. However, it was a foolish thought considering how deeply you felt for Agatha. So eventually you find yourself back in Westview looking for her.

An: Been a long time since I've written in 1st person, but wanted to keep it cohesive with part 1. I had to follow up after getting a comment from @dandelions4us only 3 years later but hope you enjoy part 2.

Part 1 | Masterlist

I didn’t think moving on would be simple, but I hoped it would be possible. However, without Agatha by my side life had become incredibly dull. It wasn’t a lack of excitement, but a lack of someone to share it with. After all those centuries together, I didn’t want to share it with anyone except her.

When I left her that day, I knew it had to be done. I did everything for her, but I would never be enough. I never wanted to leave, but a person can only come in second place for so long. Second fiddle to a hunger that would never be satiated.

I thought eventually I’d miss her less. That I would be able to move on from what we had, but that was entirely foolish. A woman as enigmatic as Agatha would always leave a mark on my soul.

I fought the feeling for years, unwilling to give in without trying, but fuck, I missed her. I saw her in everything I did. I could hear her calling to me, reaching for me. It was like she put a spell on me, which she very well could’ve.

I knew the truth, the feeling was all mine, no magic necessary. I still loved her, I needed to find her. I don’t know if she’d take me back, if she could forgive me for leaving, but I just needed to see her.

It was surprise to find her still in Westview. The town looked the same from the outside, but I could sense a difference from the people within. I could feel their eyes on me as I walked through the town.

I hated the way I felt their eyes linger on me. An outsider, or maybe they recognized me, either way it made me uncomfortable.

Going up to the house I used to live in was more challenging than I thought it would be. As I walked towards the house, I felt my heart rate picking up.

Maybe if I kept walking the block she'd eventually make an appearance. I didn't have to knock, I wouldn't have to face her. I just needed to know that she was ok, that would satisfy whatever I was feeling. At least that's what I started telling myself.

“Are you here for her?”

I whipped around at the sound of a voice. It was Herb. It was strange seeing him outside of the illusion Wanda casted, it was safe to assume his name wasn’t even Herb.

“I’m just visiting it won’t be long. Not trying to cause any trouble,” I leveled with him.

“Good luck, she’s been a bit off of her rocker since the whole Wanda thing,” he mentions.

That set off some alarms in my mind, “How so?”

“Sharon said Agnes is really into rom-coms this week. It changes pretty often, but I think rom-coms will be better than last week’s war movie theme.”

I tilt my head to the side, “What do you mean?”

“Let’s just say she created an… immersive experience for herself.”

I still don’t quite get what he means, but the only way to find out is if I check for myself. With a few small words of self-encouragement and a few deep breaths, I head over to the house.

I wait on the porch after ringing the doorbell. It doesn’t take long before the door opens. Agatha opens the door, eyes wide as they land on me.

“It’s you,” she whispers to herself.

“It is,” I say shuffling in my spot.

“Why are you here? You think after all this time I’d let you just waltz back into my life? You left me,” she doesn’t make eye contact with me.

My stare hits the ground, “Please, can we just talk. I know I left, but can you really blame me. I didn’t know if you’d ever care about me like I cared about you.”

She ushers me into the house. Her hands on my wrist cold like they usually were. I let her pull me into the kitchen.

“I can’t believe you’re back here after all these years. What brings you to town?”

My eyebrows crease, “I’m only here for you Ags.”

She shakes her head and laughs about, “You’re silly, be honest why come home now?”

I’m even more confused, “Home?”

She pushes your shoulder lightly, “Yes, goofball, home. Westview, the town we grew up in together.”

Worry begins to fill my body, as pieces begin to form together in my mind, “Ag- Agnes?”

“Yes, hun?”

I can’t help, but reach out and grab her face in my hands.

“Y/n what are you-”

I sush her as I look into her eyes. I search for Agatha behind her eyes, and begin to panic when I can’t see her. I can’t help as tears begin to fall.

“What did she do?”

I can tell Agnes is confused, but she uses one of her hands to hold mine in place.

“What’s wrong doll?”

Instantly I lose my last bit of composure, “I’m sorry I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Forgive me, my love… if I would’ve- I shouldn’t have left, I’m sorry.”

Agnes wraps her arms around me. It’s familiar, but different. She holds me up, and swipes at my tears.

“I have you,” she rubs soothing circles on my back but it only makes me cry harder.

My mind is racing. How was I going to fix this? Magic done by the Scarlet Witch herself. If anything I’d need Agatha to guide me more now than ever. Yet the woman was out of my reach. I hoped she was somewhere buried underneath Agnes, but I had no way of knowing.

I pull away to look at her, “I love you.”

A part of her melts away, “You’re a mess, you don’t mean that.”

“I do Ag-Agnes, I mean it more than you can fathom. I love you more than anything and leaving you… it was my greatest mistake. I’ll never forgive myself for it. I won’t ask you to forgive me, but allow me to make it up to you.”

Agnes rests her forehead against mine. My breath hitches as she looks into my eyes. Her breathing slows and she searches my features. It feels like an eternity passes, but eventually she puts her lips against mine.

I freeze and she almost breaks the kiss, but my arms encircle her. I keep her close allowing myself to indulge in this moment, I don’t deserve.

“I’m just happy you came back,” she speaks.

It almost sounds like Agatha, but you know better. It breaks your heart, but you’re devout. You’re going to fix this, you’re going to bring her back.

Agnes didn't have any push back when I asked to stay with her. She let me in and I got a glimpse into what the neighbors were saying about her… intense interests. I found a way to mitigate them, keeping her somewhere in the nosy neighbor medium.

I didn’t sleep much, spending most of my time in Agatha’s hidden space in the house. There were traces of her everywhere, I could practically feel her. The Darkhold was nowhere to be found, but I did come across Agatha’s old notebooks. They were filled with knowledge themselves.

I was hoping to find anything about breaking the spell she was under. She had books filled with her messy handwriting, nearly impossible for anyone else to decipher. It was different for me, I had been with her when she filled them, I could recall sitting watching her write, sometimes for hours at a time. She was always so dedicated to the craft.

It took a little over 7 months, before I found something useful; an incantation. It seemed too easy, like there should’ve been a catch to it. Yet it was my only source of chance.

“Agnes, I want to try something with you. It’s a little unconventional, but I need you to trust me,” I say, hoping she would agree.

She places a kiss on my cheek, “We’re past all the dramatics hun, you know I trust you.”

I nod, “Ok, you’re going to sit here, and I’m going to say some Latin. That's it.”

“Sound easy enough, sweetheart."

I begin to say the incantation while looking into Agnes’s eyes. I can see her shifting in her seat slightly uncomfortable. I can’t tell if the walls of the house are shaking or if it just feels that way.

“Stop,” she mumbled under her breath, but I don’t.

I keep going, and eventually she stands. She starts peeling off her clothes and I almost advert my eyes, until I see her changing. The different versions of her begin to peel back like layers.

When it’s over she’s naked in the living room. I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. I take a knee, unable to fully stand. It feels like all my power has been removed from my body.

“Agatha,” I call out to her, breathlessly. Though it takes all my effort, I lift my head.

“So, you came crawling back.”

It was her, the real her. I could tell by the harsh tone of her voice.

“Welcome back sweetheart,” I can’t help the laugh that escapes me.

“How long has it been?”

I attempt to stand, but end up falling over, “Fuck.”

Agatha walks over, picking me up and easily placing me on the couch, “Now answer my question.”

“I came about 7 months ago. It’s been nearly 3 years since I left,” I look at her.

It’s surreal, seeing Agatha and not Agnes.

“3 years, I’ve been trapped for 3 years,” she says to herself in disbelief.

“Why'd you come back?”

She meets my eyes and refuse to look away, “For you, Agatha. When I found you, or should I say when I found Agnes, I freaked out. The Darkhold is gone, I did my best. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“Don’t apologize. You did the right thing, I mean what good would it me if we were both trapped.”

“What if I didn’t come back?”

Agatha sighs, “Then I would’ve gotten what I deserved.”

I grab her hand, “No one deserves anything like that.”

She snatches her hand out of mine, “Oh please, I bet you enjoyed the time with Agnes.”

I shake my head at her jealousy. It’s a testing move, but I hook my finger under her chin, forcing her to look at me, “Agnes was sweet, but she is not the woman I love.”

“The woman you left,” Agatha’s vulnerability shines through.

“The woman I keep coming back to, no matter how much it might hurt me,” I remind her tentatively.

“You deserve more,” she sighs closing her eyes.

I lean in, “I just want you.”

I’m the one who presses my lips to her’s. She doesn’t deny me, caving into her desires. I’m putting everything that I have to give into this kiss. The passion is driving me and Agatha is meeting me every step of the way.

It’s not until my hand grazes against her bare stomach that we both pause, realizing she’s still naked.

“I want you too, more than all of this,” Agatha stares deeply into my eyes.

“You don’t have to choose, it was foolish of me to ask.”

Now it’s Agatha grabbing your hands, “It wasn't, it was reasonable. I had my priorities out of order, you are the most important thing in my life and I'm not willing to lose you again. I love you.”

I kiss the back of her hand, “I love you too.”

The moment we shared was sweet, but it soon was filled with defeat as I noticed my body still felt weak. I could tell something was wrong, I tried to use my magic, but nothing happened.

Agatha uses her powers to dress and they work just fine, yet I could see a remorseful look take over her features.

“Y/n, I think…”

I don’t care to hear the rest, “It’s alright, they always suited you better than me anyway.”

Agatha shakes her, “We can find a way, I can give them back-”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Aggie. I’m fine, it’ll take a little getting used to, but it’s not going to kill me,” I stand with much effort.

I could tell by the look in her eye, that she didn’t believe me, “I stole your powers.”

I roll my eyes, “I gave them to you, and I’d do it again, as long as you’re here with me, I couldn’t care less.”

“Are you sure?”

I nod, “Yes, I’m sure. Now let’s get out of this town, it’s beyond dreadful.”

She takes my hand in hers a mischievous smile on her face, “Anywhere with you, my dear.”

[voxslays]

Can I request a little spicy headcannon with the male characters in Hazbin. Would love to see how they would react to the reader doing the walking in naked challenge to them❤️❤️

SUCH A TEASE

Featuring >>> Alastor, Lucifer, Adam, Valentino, Vox, & Husk x Reader (separately)

Warnings: Suggestive, Talks of sex (but no actual smut-)

Alastor

Deer in headlights. Will only snap out of it once he had adjusted to it. (Because apparently deer do that??? Google help me-)

The stag will say things such as; “My dear? What are you wearing?” In a horrified way. (Because of the time period).

Would go get you some clothes, a towel, etc. You will be covered up, don’t worry. You can count on this man to go find you clothes, even though that probably (definitely) wasn’t your intention-

Lucifer

Notices immediately…and is such a dork. Would say things like “Oh golly!” Or just stutter and slur his words to the point you don’t even know what he originally meant to say!

His cheeks become a deep golden as the (golden) blood runs to his face. He is very embarrassed about it—so don’t (do) tease him.

The devil will attempt to flirt, but fail miserably. He keeps stumbling over his words. How could he not when someone as gorgeous or handsome as you is in his line of sight!?

Vox

Not phased whatsoever. Is probably too busy working or stalking Alastor to even notice your sheer lack of clothing. It will take him forever to notice—Valentino will have to literally point it out—and even then, he might not pay that much attention to it.

But when he does? He glitches and the proceeds to blue screen…before all the power in the entire city is cut off. What can he say? You’re just to gorgeous.

Oh…you’re in for a long night. Vox will not be able to keep his hands off you, so I hope you don’t need your legs the next day (or week).

Adam

Is the type to go “What did I do to deserve this?~” in a very flirtatious way. You will never hear the end of it.

Like Valentino…this man will be on you within seconds. You are in for a long night (or longer, depending on your stamina).

Over the next evening—or afternoon if Adam is feeling really impatient and decides to just bend you over the meeting table—you will experience every position under the sun. Have fun.

Husk

Won’t really care 2.0. Sure, he might blush a little and admire you, but husk isn’t really one to act on it I’d imagine.

Now Overlord!Husk? Oh boy…He is just like Adam and Valentino. He will bend you over one of the poker tables in the middle of the casino floor as a punishment for teasing him. He absolutely doesn’t care about the forming crowd watching the overlord fuck you.

Valentino

He may have poor eyesight…but he could never miss your gorgeous body any day. Is immediately humping you like the disgusting freak he is. Please do not feed into his weird fantasies…

As the two of you are going at it as you inevitably do—because he’s the overlord of lust and depravity—he will tell you how much he’d love to see your beautiful (or handsome) face in his studio.

Seek professional help.

[otterloreart]

I am going to use this opportunity to infodump about my ideal g4 pony, but please know i mean this respectfully and im not just trying to be contrary, but this post comes back every once in a while and I've wanted to add to it for a while, especially since I've gotten more g4 toys myself

The funko pop vinyl MLP figures are accurate on a technical level... from a specific perspective, in their display poses and from their display direction.

They can't be show accurate in 3D because the animation of MLP:FIM breaks the rules of perspective a ton, especially in the face. They are "fake it til you make it"-ing the 3D perspective by making it look nice from one angle- which is my problem with like 75% of the original line of MLP:FIM toys anyways.

...and in addition to not having any poes, in my opinion most of their expressions look very blank. (maybe thats just because i hate the funko brand so much tho lol)

I really dislike the very literal interpretation of the MLP:fim style. It's best exemplified by this pinkie pie funko:

ive heard a lot of people give the original blind bag pinkie pie shit for looking "not show accurate" but to me, this is at least an actual interpretation of curly hair, not balloons:

Personally, I prefer to aim for a toy that doesn't follow a super literal interpretation of the show and because I'm more fond of the older sculpts I am interested in sculpting more detail into them, not less.

That's why I gave Twilight a more pronounced chin/separation between the chin and muzzle, a slightly larger body, and indents for the eyes-

IIRC none of the toys I could find even had indents for the eyes, which like, to me is just a sign of lazy manufacturing. If you don't have eye indents you don't have to line up the eye screening (which is why my Candace toy has messed up eyes... sigh)

Some of the later toys actually did get slightly larger muzzles and more dynamic poses, which I would have preferred, but I think their eyes look way too goofy on their perfectly round faces:

I do think the average Tempest looks better because of her large, more sculpted muzzle; I also generally prefer the Princesses because they have more detail too!

The pose in g1 MLP terms just refers to the mold, and I am particularly fond of them because the pose gave each pony more personality rather than just standing there:

(Mimic Pose, which is what i based this Twilight off of)

I never liked the g4 poseable figures because I think their... "shoulder" and "knee" joints look way too wrong. On any other horse toy you can see why: that "shoulder" joint is technically two joints, the shoulder and elbow, while the middle one is the wrist.

Lauren faust is very good at adapting horse anatomy to a cartoon, its just the top of the shoulder doesn't appear in most 2D visuals- like in the original My Little Ponies, it blends in with the body

but the toy designer appears to have looked at the 2D visuals instead of considering how a horse looks, which to me produces. extremely ugly ponies. just my opinion, as someone who looks at too many horses, and horse toys. the animation and the 2D style can break the rules of physics, but breaking it too often leaves the result a jumbled mess.

now, is it presumptuous for me, a person who has been 3D modeling for a scant 2 years and has no professional experience or formal education to speak of, to say i think that a massive company full of talented designers did a poor job at interpreting this childrens toy? hm.

well in retrospect I would change the hoof and face to look more like the above (with the spiral horn, its just late and i dont feel like fixing it), and i would have the hair styled straight but i still think mines better

nobody tell my twilight sparkles, they'll feel worse than they already do.

My dream gen4 my little pony toy

The discourse has long since passed on this since MLP Gen 4 has been out for years, and now they have the g5 toys which are even worse, but anyways.

I think its a real shame they didn't make the g4 pony toys have like... any poses.

Lauren Faust has such a dynamic artstyle and I understand how it was hard to make into 3D but I refuse to believe this was the best they could do:

When theyre posed they have ugly little tube legs and no elbow. I think lauren fausts artstyle works with horses because she actually tool the time to look at horse anatomy and make it unique and stylized but these look so bad and not even very dynamic when they do do the poses but usually they dont do any poses at all.

[veggiesxxx]

POV: You spend time with a guy "behind their back." (Part 1/4)

(reader is NOT cheating!!)

Ft. Jealousy, Sulking (give him some love)

Rafayel

So, he trusts you implicitly. Unless persuaded otherwise. And it's pretty easy to convince him of something. Especially when he can't tell the informant that they're just overthinking something his darling did. Especially when he can't rationalise to himself. Especially when they just tell him: "Oh. Y/N? I saw her talking with some guy clad in a suit and tie. In the city." There. None of Thomas' speculations or anything. Just plain facts. That, he can never argue against.

That's how he ended up here, anyways. Pouting, sulking, refusing to speak to you as he sat crossly on his plush sofa.

"Raf? What's going on?" You asked, exasperated, for the 800th time.

"Don't act innocent. You know what you did." He stated, almost menacingly, and even you began to doubt yourself. Did you do something you were unaware of? Did you have some plans you forgot about, today? Did you make him wait? No... you were sure your calendar was empty for today.

"What did I do, please, enlighten me," you raised an eyebrow, standing in front of the sulking artist. He crossed his arms, not looking at you. He wasn't happy, you could tell.

"Where were you today?"

"...In the city? I told you, I had a day off. I went to run some errands for Tara-"

"You're still lying to me! That's why I'm mad! You were out with a guy!" He insisted, interrupting you. "All while I'm kept in the dark about your little trips. I bet he bought you flowers and booked your wedding venue too," he added, obviously exaggerating, but he didn't seem to think he was being any dramatic.

"Raf, what on Earth are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about! Thomas said the guy gave you- Well I don't remember, but you were, and I quote, 'clearly interested' in him." He laid on the sofa like a dead fish, on his back. You thought he was definitely going to start floating too, if you didn't do something to stop this seemingly endless, and wordy cycle of self-destruction.

"You don't love me anymore.. fine! Go be with the bastard.. Leave this poor fishie here to dry out and die..-" he complained, putting his hand over his forehead, looking petulant, facing the sofa backrest. Suddenly, it clicked. You didn't talk to any guys today.. except for that-

"Rafayel!" You raised your voice, exasperated.

"He was an employer for Ever. He was looking for someone with experience with the N1-09 zone. He gave me an entry pass to the lab-.. NOT FLOWERS!"

Rafayel scrutinised your expression, trying to see if you were lying to him. But the genuine exasperation and growing frustration in your gaze told him to believe you or things wouldn't end well.

"..oh" He looked more bashful now, having the decency to sit back up, and clear his throat.

"heh...sorry darling."

"...Don't talk to me." You turned your head, refusing to meet his gaze now. How could he not trust you? "Hey.. no need to be rash.. Darlinggg..!" He exclaimed, alarmed, giving you 'fishie-eyes', trying to make it up to you.

"Cutie..." He hugged you from behind, pressing his chest to your back, resting his head on yours. It made you go warm. How could anyone expect you to resist going soft when he called you that?

"...asshole." you mumbled, relenting.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧༶

Hope you enjoyed!!

Next :

╰┈➤ Xavier/Zayne/Sylus (Part 2/4) [coming soon]

A/N: if u liked it pls leave a note I'll have them for dinner

[bumblebeehug]

hi friend. i am in desperate need of a chapter 520 reversal. lucy’s body heat is down and our man Natsu needs to help,,, post Alvarez PLEASE💗 love all your fics btw.

i'm yours no matter

Summary: Lucy comes back from a tough job in a terrible state: she's in a coma, Porlyusica won't stop naming risks and consequenses of the damage she's taken, and Natsu wants to throw up out of worry. Notes: glad fortsättning as we say in sweden! christmas is over, i have to study for my test, new years will probably leave me with the worst hangover ever bc when hasn't it :') but here's a hurt/comfort fic to satisfy y'all until the middle of january<3 thank you bluedragneel for this request, i'm obsessed with this trope and might write it again some day teehee :3 Ao3 - FF.net(link coming)

***

Natsu would never have let Lucy go without him on this mission if he knew the state she’d come back in. He clenched and unclenched his fists while trying to understand what Porlyusica was saying, between odd medical terms and concerned small talk. He didn’t care about the details: he needed to know what happened and how it was going to be fixed.

“Boy, are you listening to me?”

“Huh? What? Come again?”

Porlyusica sighed, a vain threatening to pop out of her forehead.

“This is important. We don’t know how she’ll recover, if she recovers. If she does wake up we won’t be certain if she makes it out without brain damage. Wendy did the best she could, but even her magic is limited.” The fact that Porlyusica wasn’t screaming or yelling with rage, or even annoyingly tapping her foot or actively scowling at him made it clear that this was serious. She tried to appear calm, but in this case it only made him more worried.

“What… does brain damage mean? What would happen to her?” Natsu wasn’t sure he’d like the answer, but he had to know.

“What it entails?” She clarified, getting half a nod as an answer. “Well, if her brain is too damaged, her attention and concentration could suffer, we don’t yet know to what degree. She could also have problems with her memories, and making decisions and motivation would become difficult. This could mean that she’ll be more easily distracted, or she’ll experience information overload and become slower at taking in and making sense of information. Her work as a wizard would be jeopardized.”

Natsu felt a headache creeping on. He wasn’t sure if he properly understood half of that, but it sounded bad. His throat felt thick, swallowing seemingly didn’t help.

“That’s not all though.” Natsu glared at her.

“There’s more?”

He felt ill to his stomach. What could possibly be worse than what she’d just told him?

“We don’t know the exact circumstances around what caused this coma. Her sustained injuries have me worried that she’ll become disabled. It’s not certain she’ll be able to walk or talk like before.”

“What,” he hissed. “Why didn’t you tell me that earlier!?”

“I did tell you, you were just too busy throwing a hissyfit to listen.” If eyes could kill, Natsu would be ten feet under. “I’m not saying there’s nothing to be done, though.”

Natsu almost perked up. He didn’t dare have any high hopes, but a spark of possibility had shown itself: maybe she’d end up okay. Just maybe.

“What we know from the mission is that the client requested protection from a snow monster. Its estimated strength was around ten times the strength of a vulcan, and not only that – it was said to use strange curses. As curses are unregulated, we’re not sure what could have caused exactly this, but we understand that she got thrown headfirst into the mountain. It was Loke that brought her back, but due to how different the time flows in the celestial world, she’d already been out in the snow for a couple of hours.” Porlyusica tried to summarize again what had happened, considering Natsu had been too worried to listen the first time. “We already have Levy, Freed and Makarov working to figure out the curse, but there’s something I want you to do in the meantime.”

Natsu perked up, listening intently. If he could do something, anything, to get her back, he’d do it without a second thought.

“You need to keep her warm.”

“I can do that!” Natsu almost laughed in relief. He’s a dragon slayer – warming things was the thing he did best!

“You have to make the transition steady though. If you heat her up too quickly she could go into shock. Do you understand? You have to start by warming her with your body heat. This is important, you cannot rush things like these.” Porlyusica narrowed her eyes. If he got careless Lucy’s health could be in danger.

“Body heat? So what do I do, just warm her with my hands? It’s gonna take ages.” He fidgeted with his hands, suddenly more impatient than usual. Not to warm Lucy, specifically, just to get her treatment started. He understood how important it was to follow Porlyusica’s instructions: she’d never been wrong about this before.

“Do you remember back when Fiore was at war with Alvarez? You had that tumour in you, and you too were passed out in a coma. Back then, your fire was going out: you were rapidly freezing to death. Lucy was the one who kept you alive, and she did so with skin to skin contact. Today I need you to do the same.”

Goosebumps appeared on Natsu’s arms as he recalled. That was a time he didn’t think fondly of. He went through a lot of hardship back then, even if waking up to Lucy and Happy was something that had given him relief at the time. That’s right, where was Happy?

“Y-yeah, I’ll do it,” he mumbled scattermindedly. “Do you know where Happy went? I rushed here so fast, I’m not sure I told him what was going on…”

Porlyusica sighed. This boy was something else, wasn’t he? Not in the best way either, she feared.

“While you were yelling and getting mad, trying to run to the client of her mission for revenge, I explained everything to him. He’s already gotten a head start. I urge you to join him.” This time her glare was comparable to lazer, earning a hard gulp from Natsu. Still, he was relieved to hear Happy wasn’t in the dark: he knew how much those two meant for each other. If Lucy fell ill and Happy couldn’t be there to help… He didn’t want to think of it. Happy had been much more protective of Lucy ever since he felt Future Lucy die. That went for Natsu too of course.

___

Natsu gulped again and looked back at Porlyusica. Lucy layed behind those hospital drapes, shallow breaths filling up the room. Her scent did its usual work of calming him, but he noticed that it didn’t carry in the air like usual. He was sure that curse and her lack of body heat had something to do with it.

Porlyusica had turned around as she let Natsu undress. She’d seen him in this light attire before, but as a healer she had some courtesy to at least wait until he was finished. Natsu awkwardly cleared his throat, breaking the silence that had filled the room.

“Do I… Take off my underwear?” Porlyusica nearly choked on her own spit.

“No. Please don’t. For all our sake. She’s still a lady.” The last sentence was muttered in a voice barely louder than a whisper, but Natsu heard it. Still, he didn’t want to do anything wrong. “Are you done?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled, feeling his arms hang along his sides. This situation was so odd. He wasn’t exactly shy, but being bare like this in a serious situation felt vulnerable. He wanted to wear his scarf, but she had rejected that idea as soon as he said it. Something about the neck being an important area as a heat source.

Porlyusica turned around, not sparing him as much as a glance. Instead she headed straight to the curtains and drew them to the side. There she was. Under a couple of blankets. So still that he’d be worried for her life didn’t he hear her pulse. It was faint, a bit irregular, but there. He’d made sure to really listen for it this time.

“What are you waiting for? Join her.” The healer motioned at the bed.

“It’s so small though…” he puzzled. If he had a Jewel for every time Porlyusica sent him a stare that was out to kill, he’d have enough money to buy not just Lucy’s apartment, but her entire apartment building. He took that as a sign to keep quiet if he was about to question Porlyusica’s methods.

“You’re gonna need to cuddle close anyways, just hurry up. We’ve already wasted too much time.”

Natsu took a shaky breath and lifted Lucy’s blanket. Her bluish pale hands laying against her sides made his heart drop. This was really serious. Just because this was a treatment that could help, didn’t mean that her health would perfectly return. If anything, this was just another flighty attempt to heal her. Surely it wouldn’t benefit her as much as lifting the curse: had Natsu been smarter, maybe he could have helped her faster.

He shook his head. No, he had to focus on what he could do here and now. Worrying about things that could have been wouldn’t help at all, even if he was right about this body-warming treatment only helping a little. It might just be the thing that would keep her away from this brain damage thing Porlyusica had been talking about. He finally crawled into bed beside her.

Cold. She was really cold. His first instinct was to make his own body heat higher, but as he was about to he heard Porlyusica’s warnings echo in his mind. If he didn’t take this slow, new complications could arise. He just had to slowly get used to this sensation.

Porlyusica suddenly spoke up.

“Now, I don’t want you just laying there doing nothing.”

Natsu sent her a confused look. Wasn’t this what she’d asked him to do?

“You need to talk to her. Say her name. Whatever happened on her mission, I’m growing increasingly uncertain of her coma being caused by a concussion. If anything, it’s more likely that it’s a magic coma. And if it’s a curse, nothing helps breaking it better than love. You need to call out to her.”

For the first time in a very long time, Natsu felt himself blush. Just faintly, but the indication that his love for Lucy would be the thing to wake her up, made him feel weird inside. Not a bad weird, just… weird.

“She did the same to you,” she added, only pouring gasoline on the fire inside of him. “If I didn’t think this was important I’d ask for someone else for help, much earlier. Elfman has a large body, he could easily get her to a normal body temp.”

This time, her implications made Natsu tense up instead. He didn’t like the thought of that giant muscle head cuddling with Lucy, skin to skin. He instinctively wrapped his arm around her waist, as to protect her from whatever googly eyed guy that would come waltzing in, in hopes to join them under her blanket.

“Don’t look so stupid. Getting angry gets you nowhere. Anyway, you’re the one who has to do this. If anything can wake her, whether she’s under a curse or not, it’s the connection you share. So I need you to talk to her.”

Natsu once again felt weird inside. He couldn’t pin the feeling down: was it that he felt vulnerable? Or that he felt embarrassed, doing all this in front of someone else? It was awfully intimate after all. Happy was one thing, but having another person listen to him calling out her name like a lost, desperate puppy? Well, awkward or not, it had to be done. He cleared his throat again and looked back at Lucy with determination. He felt his arms lightly shake her from a natural body reaction.

“Lucy,” he tried, his voice sounding weak in the still room. “Hey Lucy, come on… Wake up, would’ya?”

For the first time since Natsu entered the room, Happy spoke up. He seemed like he was in his own world, dazed in worry. Hearing Natsu must have made him realise what had been going on around him.

“Lushy…” The nasal croak he let out made it clear he’d been crying. Natsu envied him a little: he wanted to cry too, but if he did he was sure he’d have a complete breakdown. He had to focus on getting her awake – crying wasn’t an option. Porlyusica shifted her weight. It looked like she wanted to sit down, but she had to join the others with coming up with a cure soon.

“You have to try harder than that Natsu. A tip to not feel like you’re going crazy just repeating her name, is to recall old memories. It’ll keep you busy from anxiety and worry, plus it’ll strengthen your and her resolve. Besides, it’ll make your bond feel stronger. I think that could be beneficial in a case like this.” Porlyusica watched as Natsu turned her words in his mind, trying to understand exactly what she meant. “I’ll trust you to do this now, don’t let her down.”

With those words Porlyusica left the infirmary, leaving Natsu and Happy with their unconscious friend.

Natsu held Lucy close, her icy skin a sharp contrast to the heat radiating from his body. Carefully he glanced at Happy, who looked like he was close to dissociating. If he didn’t start talking now, he’d probably have to deal with two traumatised people who meant a lot to him, and he wasn’t sure if he had the strength to do that.

This thought was enough to kick him into action. He swallowed hard, his voice low and trembling as he spoke.

"Lucy… you’ve gotta come back. You can’t leave us like this." Carefully he grabbed her hand, her fingertips almost blue from lack of blood circulation. His grip tightened just slightly, as if willing her to feel the warmth spreading from his fingers. "I don’t know what happened out there, but I’m here now, okay? So… so just wake up."

He took a shaky breath, tangling his legs with hers, just like he’d done so many times before in her apartment. This time it was different. This entire situation made him want to cringe, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.Why her out of all people? He’d never been the one who solved problems tenderly. He could fight, get revenge, he’d always been confident of his ability to do grand gestures to fix what was wrong. He couldn’t handle things with care, make out nuances in language, emotion or even a thing like physical hurt. If Lucy ever got injured she’d be honest and frank: sure, she tried to go on for a little bit longer than she should, even while having deep gushes through her legs or shoulders popped out of place. But she was honest enough about it that Natsu always knew what to do about it: sear the opening of the wound, fetch Wendy, pop her bones back into place. Those things were child's play in comparison to this. Now he had to carefully heat her up, not too quickly but not too slowly either, while calling out to her, pulling on whatever strings they had on each other’s unconsciousness. He was aware of the connection they shared, and he was normally confident in it: at times he felt like they shared one and the same mind. But this? He wasn’t so sure it was enough anymore.

"You’re always the one who’s there for everyone," he continued, his voice breaking just a little. "You never give up, no matter how bad things get. That’s who you are. So don’t stop now, Lucy. Please… just don’t."

Happy joined in through whispers in her ear, not daring to raise his voice in case it’d crack. Natsu felt his heart break a little as he watched him hold on to Lucy for dear life. It was one thing that Natsu felt like this, but Happy wasn’t meant to be sad: he had spent his whole life making sure he would get the childhood Natsu never got. For him to have to almost lose Lucy twice: it was a pain Natsu could barely cope with himself. He was genuinely worried about his furry friend.

Still, he had to stay focused. He remembered what Porlyusica had told him, about memories being an effective way to keep his anxiety at bay, while still grasping at Lucy’s unconscious.

His thoughts raced, memories flashing through his mind. The way she’d smiled when they took their first job together, the way she’d always trusted him to catch her when she’d fall, how she always knew what to say to get him to keep moving forward.

"Hey, Lucy… You gotta wake up, you know? I promised you we’d go on more adventures, back when we fought against Future Rogue and…" His voice cracked, he still didn’t dare finish that sentence. "Whenever I was a wreck, you were there. You didn’t give up on me, not even for a second. So now it’s my turn, Lucy. I’m not giving up on you."

Happy’s soft, tearful voice chimed in from beside them. "Lushy… we need you. Please wake up."

Natsu’s jaw clenched. He would do anything to get her out of this. He just wished he could do something more effective. Deep in his stomach he felt his fire work it’s magic: he’d been suppressing it so he wouldn’t warm her up too quickly, so to not slip up and unleash a heat wave on the three of them, he took a deep breath.

“I… Guess this is the time to tell you how thankful we are that we met you all those years ago.” Happy met Natsu’s flickering gaze, sharing a small encouraging nod. “We really are thankful. Like, we’d probably be dead if it weren’t for you.” He tried to chuckle at the attempt of a joke, but Happy didn’t seem as pleased. Natsu cleared his throat.

“What I’m trying to say is… well… we can’t imagine a life without you. If I ever had to go back to only sleeping in my swine sty of a house, instead of being with you everyday, I’m not sure I’d be able to keep my sanity. Even when you scream and do all kinds of weird stuff, we need you.”

“Lushy,” Happy sniffled, “what would I do if I had to go back to only living with Natsu? I’d starve! He burns my fish and everything else we own…”

“Oh come on! You’ve survived up till now!” Natsu protested, but couldn’t bring himself to actually find a counter argument. He was telling the truth after all. Happy glared at him and continued talking.

“I know he’s really stupid,” he began, earning a stern frown from Natsu, “but I think he might be the one who’d hate it the most if you died. But that aside, I don’t think I could stand losing you again.” Tears were once again pouring out of his eyes. “You’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to an actual proper mom…”

The last part would have been impossible for Natsu to hear, hadn’t it been for his dragon-hearing. He swallowed the big knot in his throat that threatened to come out as a sob. He didn’t know Happy had felt so strongly about Lucy, though it made sense as he heard it. Of course she was like a mom to him: she was perfect like that. Caring, worrisome at times, but always loving.

“Hey, you heard him, right? You can’t leave Happy after he tells you something like that, can you? So hurry and wake up… You’d never forgive me if I scared you like this, so come on…”

“But you did scare us like that though,” Happy argued.

“Oh can it,” Natsu muttered, raising his body temperature another degree.

While continuing talking, mixing the casual bickering with emotional anecdotes, Natsu started massaging Lucy’s right hand, the one with her guild mark. Laying there, he realised that the colour of it really was the exact same shade as his hair. The thought tugged on his heartstrings. Had she even meant for that to happen, when he made her join Fairy Tail all those years ago? Had she always been determined that it would be the two of them – and Happy of course – teaming up? Even if that wasn’t the case, if it had been her unconscious that picked the shade of pink so close to his hair, he still wanted to tear up. The two of them were so incredibly attached, to the point where Natsu couldn’t even imagine a life without her anymore.

He continued observing her hand as he massaged her soft skin. It was slender, a nuance less blue than it had been when he laid down with her some minutes ago. This realisation sparked some hope within him. They were helping her: it was working. Continuing the talking, letting his mouth speak whatever flew into his brain, he simultaneously went on thinking about her hand. When she proudly showed it off to him when her mark was new, it had been in pristine condition. Soft, flawless, not a callus or scar in sight. Her nails had been long, carefully taken care of, painted a light pink that almost seemed nude in comparison to the bright pink guild mark. As he looked at it now, it was covered in scars. Some cuts from falling on gravel, some webbing up her wrist like veins. He knew that must have been reminiscent of when she rewrote E.N.D. for him. Another constellation of scars resembled shattering, likely scars from when she had to summon the Celestial Spirit King back when they fought Tartarus. Most of these scars gave Natsu shivers. They were all pale and faded now, but he knew they must cause Lucy pain every day. To carry her biggest joy and her worst pain on the same hand seemed taxing.

He brought her fingers up to his lips, pressed them against them lightly. Then he embraced her, letting her limp, cool body rest against his. Her skin was so soft, but he didn’t enjoy this fake cuddle session: he wanted her to be awake, or even asleep would be better: even when she was asleep she ended up reciprocating his cuddles. This made him feel like he was hugging a corpse, and it was quickly rated as one of his least favourite sensations.

In his new position he could hug her from behind, the many pillows propped up behind his back making him sit up slightly. This allowed for Lucy’s head to rest on his chest, right by his collarbones. Carefully he nudged her a little bit to the left. Maybe his heartbeat could aid them in some way: he wasn’t sure how, but it couldn’t help to try. Happy nudged himself between Natsu’s embracing arm and Lucy’s chest, covering up what would be a very revealing view hadn’t he laid there. Any other day her nudity would be arousing for Natsu, but today it didn’t have that effect. Rather than arousing, it gave him a sense of security. Their bodies, pressed against each other, like clinging on to Lucy’s soul for dear life.

He rested his lips on the top of her head for a while. Happy was in the middle of yapping about Lisanna, his biological mom and Lucy, when Natsu suddenly felt her arm twitch. It was small, and he’d disregard it as his imagination hadn’t he heard her breath hitch at the same time.

“Lucy?” He hugged her tighter, squashing Happy a little in the process. “Happy, I think she’s responding. She just twitched! Keep talking,” he urged, nuzzling his face into her neck. He was certain of it: she had reacted.

Suddenly his resolve increased tenfold, his fiery determination bubbling to the surface. He didn’t care how long this took—he’d stay by her side until she opened her eyes.

"Lucy," he said, his tone growing stronger, more resolute. "I’m not going anywhere, got it? You’re stuck with me, so you’d better wake up and yell at us for being too loud or something. You always do."

Once again he thought he saw the faintest flicker of movement—a twitch of her fingers against his hand. His breath hitched.

"Lucy? Come on, it’s me. Natsu." He leaned closer to her ear, her smell filling his head until he felt completely intoxicated. His voice dropped to a near whisper. "I need you. We all do. So please… wake up."

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, slowly, her lips parted, and a faint sound escaped.

"N… Natsu…"

His eyes widened, hope surging through him like a wildfire. "Lucy!”

Happy dried his eyes that were puffy from all the crying he’d done. He was quick to jump out of their embrace.

“I’ll go get Porlyusica!” He almost left the room before he turned back, lifted her blanket a little to cover the goods, and then hurried away. Natsu barely registered his actions, his focus being completely tuned in on Lucy.

With a split moment alone, Natsu almost felt overwhelmed with the silence. She’d called out his name, though only faint, but instead of her heartbeat rising to accommodate her waking up, it seemed like it was slightly fading. Worry filled Natsu’s head, the anxiety shooting out prickling sensations in his arms and legs.

“Lucy, what’s going on? Why’s your heartbeat slowing down?” His high pitch made the worry apparent, but he didn’t care. “Shit, come on! Stay with me!”

He rocked their bodies back and forth in hope that he’d manage to keep her heart pulsing. It was quickly made apparent that it wasn’t enough, when for a split moment her heart missed a beat.

This time he couldn’t conceal his panic. No one was nearby, Lucy was fading away by the second, and all Natsu could do was choke out a small “Please…”. He didn’t know what to do, tears welling up in his eyes faster than he was prepared for.

“Don’t leave…” he croaked, sobs filling the silence. “Shit, Lucy, I can’t live without you… I love you…”

Had he not been busy pressing her lukewarm cheek against his, rocking them back and forth, and trying to swallow the sobs that leaked out anyways, he’d notice that his confession pulled Lucy’s heartbeat back for a few seconds. But he didn’t notice this: instead he continued his endeavors of grasping whatever life was left in her.

“Lucy, Lucy, Lucy… Please…” He opened his eyes again, quickly regretting it as they soaked Lucy’s face in the salty liquid. He wanted to see her face properly, take in her soft features before it was too late. He grabbed her face with his free hand, slowly letting his thumb caress her cheek. His blurred vision made him miss how her eyebrows twitched into a furrow. Instead he let his heart steer his actions: he didn’t know what else to do.

Pushing her bangs out of her face, Natsu let his lips land on hers. Softly, his hot ones on Lucy’s dry cold ones. His chin quivered – he didn’t want his first kiss with her to be his last one. In fact, he never wanted his first kiss to be with Lucy while she was unconscious at all. He had thought of their relationship for a long time, even imagining them having their first kiss under the stars after a dinner that would leave both of them too stuffed to walk. They were supposed to be joking around, laughing, and he’d look at her, look into her brown, sparkling eyes, that held a universe inside of them, and he wouldn’t be able to contain himself, so he’d lean in and kiss her: and she’d kiss him back. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this, in a sterile bed, in the infirmary that had too bright lights, naked under blankets, Lucy dying in his hands.

Still, he didn’t dare to stop kissing her. And good thing he didn’t, because suddenly, for him out of nowhere, he felt her kiss him back.

In shock he pulled away, his eyes big as plates.

“L-lucy? You’re…” Silent tears kept falling onto Lucy’s face. Her eyelids fluttered, and after what felt like an eternity, they opened, her brown eyes glassy but unmistakably alive. She blinked up at him, her voice hoarse but clear.

"You’re… warm," she murmured, her lips curling into a weak but familiar smile.

Natsu laughed, tears streaming down his face. “Don’t scare me like that…” he muttered, a blush spreading across his face before he could stop it. "But you’re back. That’s all that matters."

Lucy slowly brought her hand up, cupping Natsu’s cheek.

“Did you kiss me?”

Natsu avoided her eyes, awkwardly tensing up.

“I thought Porlyusica said you’d have brain damage or something…” Lucy was quick to hit him on his arm.

“Are you stupid? Don’t wish I wouldn’t understand something like that!” Her voice was shrill, cutting through Natsu’s ears like knives, but today he didn’t care about that. He was insanely happy to have her back to normal.

He let out a chuckle, albeit against his own will.

“It’s not like I hoped for our first kiss to be like that.”

Lucy just smiled. She had put out a lot of energy right as she woke up: truth was, she still felt exhausted and honestly a bit dizzy. After getting a good look at Natsu, taking in his worried frown, his wet cheeks and reddened eyes, she closed her eyes again.

“What are you?! Lucy! Wake up!” He violently shook her this time, not allowing her to fade away again.

“Calm down,” she puffed, “I just need to rest a little.” Slowly she sneaked one eye open, observing Natsu as his wrinkle became more prominent.

“How do I know you won’t die in your sleep?”

“Well, for one you don’t keep believing that I will. Don’t manifest it.” She tried to joke, but it was apparent Natsu didn’t understand what she meant. She sighed. “Just… Stay here, please?”

She turned her body around so she laid on her stomach on top of him. It was at this moment she realised the attire they both were in.

“Natsu..?” She whispered against his chest.

“Yeah?” Natsu had started rubbing his hand against her back in a repetitive motion. This time he was making sure she’d stay alive.

“Why are we naked?”

Natsu didn’t know if the sound he let out was a chuckle or a sob – perhaps a mix of both. It was such a relief to hear her worry about her usual things.

“Don’t ya’ worry ‘bout it,” he smiled, continuing to rub her back.

“Well that’s not suspicious,” she mumbled as she slowly fell back to sleep. This time it felt better for Natsu: her body was warmer, her arms were hugging him back, and now he knew any major damages could be disregarded.

That’s when he heard Happy let out a cry of joy, flying up to nuzzle against her cheek. "Lushy! You’re okay!"

Natsu hurried to push him away with a harsh “shh”. Happy would start an argument hadn’t he seen the corners of Lucy’s mouth curl into a soft smile, her eyes opening briefly to greet her feline friend. Her heart twinged at his tearful eyes, but she still managed to give him a playful blink. She wanted to assure him she’d be back to normal soon. Porlyusica stepped forward into the room, her expression as stern as ever, but a hint of relief apparent in her eyes.

"She’s not out of the woods yet. Keep her warm and let her rest. But this… this is a good sign."

Natsu nodded, his arms tightening protectively around Lucy. 

"Ya’ don’t gotta worry. I have her."

Lucy’s eyes drifted closed again, her breathing steadying as she slipped into a more peaceful sleep. Happy hugged her shoulder tightly. He was so relieved that she was okay. And Natsu? He was beyond relief. If he could, he would have cloned himself so one of his bodies could do a celebratory dance, meanwhile the other could stay here, holding her tight, making sure she could stay comfortable for as long as she needed. He didn’t know any cloning magic though, so he let his imaginary clone work the floor beside the bed while Porlyusica hurried around the two of them, counting Lucy’s heartbeat, drawing her blood for testing, checking her pupils for dilating. Despite the worrying things she was doing to her, Natsu managed to stay calm. Maybe it was the deep breaths he felt against his torso, or the tiny, almost invisible nudging Lucy did to get her body closer to his, but Natsu felt at peace.

Everything would be fine. He wouldn’t let her go:  not now – not ever.

[ihfmseatsoch]

ok ok ok so if i may be so bold as to request something, ive been enamored wiht the idea of an older, controlling, borderline abuse boyfriend jimmy, like he and reader live together on earth, and reader goes to college, while jimmy works physical jobs trying to support them both. he's a SHITTY person though, so hes jealous of any man the reader talks to, reads through their phone, makes sinde comments about their weight and appearance, and (im totally not projecting here) eventually pressures them into dropping out, for like his perfect little live in partner/gf fantasy sjdhasd feel free to do whatever with this, but this specific scenario has not left my head for days

WHEEE this was fun to write ^w^ i rushed this a bit but i just didnt want you to have to wait any longer... :p

—

Jimmy Zare x fem!reader

reader uses fem terms (girl, girlfriend)

genre: how do i categorize this.... fic that makes you feel bad or horny depending on how you handle verbal abuse lol

word count: 1.8k

warnings/content: age gap, domestic abuse, manipulation, arguing, fat shaming, several references to the readers body/appearance, jimmy being the biggest asshole oh my god i hate him (i want him so bad it makes me look stupid)

(is it bad that writing about jimmy yelling at me turns me on... WOAHHH who said that .....😰 also dont kill me for the weight shaming part IM A FAT GIRL !!!!!! i like when evil men are mean to me !!!!!! RAAAH)

—

"He's a good guy, he can actually be really sweet!"

That's a sentence you find yourself saying out of complete muscle memory at this point whenever someone questions why your boyfriend–... well, they question an awful lot about your boyfriend.

For example, why he's over twenty years your senior whilst you're still going to class on the weekdays. Why he doesn't allow you to see your friends, wear certain clothes, leave your apartment without him, and why he takes up so much space in your brain, completely distracting you from your own life and goals.

You've missed at least four assignments this semester alone. It's stupid, really. You thought you'd be done with obsessing and crying over boys after you graduated highschool. It's completely immature for a so-called adult like yourself, but then again, you're hardly into adulthood at all.

Jimmy, on the other hand, has a lot more life experience, many of those experiences negative. That might be why you've taken some form of pity on him, going so far as to move into his apartment so you can take care of him when you're not busy. He needs someone to make sure he doesn't fall off the deep end.

The thing is, it's become hard to fit him in your schedule, but whenever you're unable to make time for him after he comes home from work, that familiar scowl on his face indicating it was another shitty day, he throws a fit.

He'll accuse you of everything under the sun; Infidelity being the primary thing.

"You don't love me. There's someone else, isn't there? It's that one kid that asked you to help him 'study' last week, isn't it? No? Give me your fucking phone, then."

This is what you come home to everyday, so it's nothing new. In fact, you're pretty used to it by now. Though today, Jimmy seems particularly pissed.

"Where have you been?" He crosses his arms and leans against the wall, eyeing you up and down like he always does when he's about to grill you on something.

"Sorry..." You mutter, way too tired to deal with one of his moods again. "Traffic." You answer simply, not having enough energy to overexplain yourself like you normally do.

"Uh huh. Traffic." He mimics you in a way that already tells you he's not buying it. Great.

"...It's the truth." You shrink into yourself at the way he's looking at you. Contemptuous as always. You're in for another argument, it seems. A million, desperate pleas run through your mind;

'Please don't give me another lecture about how you're my only financial support, and how grateful I should be. Please don't ask to see my phone. Please don't tell me to drop out.'

But, of course, you can't actually change the outcome of this. You're gonna get yelled at. Belittled. Degraded.

"You're two hours late, and you're gonna tell me you were just stuck in traffic?" He pushes himself off the wall and walks towards you.

"You're never home when you're supposed to be, and when you are home, you're all tired and upset.” He pokes a finger into your shoulder, hard. "What do you think that looks like from my point of view?"

"I'm sorry." You rub your face, exasperated. God, you wish he would shut up sometimes. Sure, he can be amicable, but lately... he's been a raging dick. Yet, you can't help but cling to the memory of his good moments. "I'll try to make it back on time tomorrow."

"Yeah? And how many times have I heard that before?" He sneers, "You're hiding something from me, aren't you?"

The way he accuses you so confidently, so sure of himself... it's insulting. Does he really think that little of you? "College has been kicking my ass, Jim. You know that. I'm not hiding anything from you, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, college this, college that. Always complaining about fuckin' college," He scoffs, his eyes stay narrowed, still glaring. "How about what I'm going through? You think I'm having a great time every day at work, hm?"

"No, I–" You stammer, hating the way he's turning this around to make himself the victim. Oh, woe is him, having to provide for himself and his girlfriend. How tortured he is. "I know, alright? I'm sorry. I just– what else do you expect me to do?"

"Be here. Like you're supposed to be. And I expect you to stop acting like I'm the bad guy for asking you to be a decent girlfriend."

Jimmy's voice raises slightly as he takes a step closer, towering over your sheepish figure. He nudges your shoulder again, even rougher this time.

"I'm busting my ass every day to put food on the table, and you can't even have the decency to show up on time, let alone look happy to see me?"

"I– I am happy to see you! I am, I'm just– you don't get it. I want to be here, but... I'm not even halfway through this semester, and–" You stumble over your words as you attempt, in vain, to defend yourself. It's not like he'll ever feel sympathy for you. It's always about what he wants. What makes him happy.

Jimmy rolls his eyes at your attempt to reason with him. It's as if he doesn't even register a word you say. "But what? What's more important to you, huh? Some stupid classes, or the guy who keeps a fuckin' roof over your head and feeds you? Be grateful, goddamn it." He snaps, grabbing your arms and giving them a forceful shake.

You flinch from being handled like you're not even a human being, much less one with feelings. "Stop, please, I'm– I am grateful, I really am..." You're not lying, either. To be honest, his guilt tripping works wonders on you. Are you really acting unappreciative? He wouldn't be this upset if you were in the right...

He seems unfazed by your frightened demeanor and continues to hold a firm grip on your arms. He looks you up and down, not even having to say anything for you to know he's judging you, as a girlfriend and person in general.

"Oh, you're grateful? Then maybe you should act like it for once." Jimmy gives your arms another firm shake, a harsh reminder of who's in charge here.

"I'm not asking much of you. I just want you to be here, and you can't even do that. Do you think I'm just gonna sit back and accept that bullshit?"

"No..." You shake your head, looking down at the ground in shame. Were you really that awful? You didn't want to be a bad partner, it's the last thing you ever wanted. If you could make eye contact without feeling guilty, you'd see Jimmy's face light up with satisfaction as he finally notices you're not even bothering to put up a fight anymore.

There's a condescending lilt to his tone as he speaks, "No one will ever love you like I do. You know that?"

You nod, knowing there has to be some truth to his claim. He takes care of you, doesn't he? He keeps a roof over your head, gives you money for groceries, and he's not always that unpleasant to be around...

He's a good boyfriend. You're the problem. You always are.

"Exactly."

The grip on your arms eases, moving them to place a hand on each of your shoulders, contrastingly gentle compared to his behavior only moments ago.

"You oughta thank your lucky stars you have a man like me who puts up with all your bullshit. You get that, right? How lucky you are to be with me?"

You know he's right. You were blessed with someone who still loves you, despite your many shortcomings. You're too fat, the acne on your face and body is repulsive, the way you do your makeup is weird... all of this being things Jimmy has told you directly. At least you have an honest boyfriend, isn't that what every girl wants?

He gives your shoulder a pat, like he's treating you like a small, petulant child. "You realize I could have literally any girl I want, right? Pretty, skinny, smart ones, even. But I chose you. Because I care about you."

He pauses, letting that sink in.

"But it would help if you'd actually put the effort in to look decent." He adds as an afterthought.

You've internalized every single snide remark he's thrown your way, reminded of them every single time you look in the mirror. Yet he still loves someone like you. Someone so difficult and embarrassing to be with.

"Jim, I don't... I don't know how I'm even gonna be able to free my schedule at all with school and stuff..." You mumble guiltily. You know he wants you to drop out, he's suggested it more times than you can count.

"That right there, that's why I'm frustrated, goddamn it," He says with an exacerbated sigh. He moves one hand from your shoulder to pinch the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Why don't you get it? Dropping out isn't the end of the world. Just quit and stay home. Done. Easy."

"It's not that easy... I want to get a good job and help out too, you know..."

It's true that you want to pull your weight around your shared home. With your combined income, it'd make everything easier. But... with how shitty college makes you feel, leaving you beaten down and tired by the end of the day...

You find yourself listening to Jimmy on this for once.

He can tell you're seriously contemplating it this time, which makes him feel... more in control. He's got you thinking and believing exactly what he wants you to. Soon, he'll be able to get you to obey him without another word from you.

The thought of having you as his subservient, stay at home girlfriend is more than appealing. It's his goal to mold you into what he wants you to be.

"Yeah, yeah, I get that, I know. But you're stressing yourself half to death, and for what? Some stupid degree? Listen to me, I'm not gonna ask you again. You're just creating problems that don't need to exist. Just quit. You'll have plenty of free time that you can spend with me."

You can't deny how tempting the idea is. Hesitantly, after several moments of pondering the hypotheticals and what-ifs, you speak up,

"...I guess... dropping out wouldn't hurt too much."

He perks up at that, barely being able to contain a delighted grin. You're actually putting him and his wants first, and acknowledging that he's right. You're doing as he says, without any of the usual arguing or excuses. He'll finally have his dream complaisant, docile girlfriend to come home to every night.

It only took a month or two to finally get you to cave. You'll be easier to control from now on. Hell, maybe you'll lose some weight with some free time on your hands, stop wearing that shitty makeup...

"Good girl," He says in a patronizing tone, like he's addressing a child, "That's what wanna hear."

God, you really hope this isn't a bad idea. Jimmy looks pleased for once, so...

This decision can't possibly ruin your future too badly, right?

—

[i-hate-viktor]

This is probably gonna be a lot of yap

Before anyone replies or whatever I'm legit just stating my opinion it ain't that deep im not trying to argue or get mad at anyone, i respect op's opinions and everyone else's opinions and whatnot.

I was diagnosed with conduct disorder when I was younger blah blah all that shit I find it really annoying whenever these 13 year olds claim to have aspd

9 times out of 10 you need a conduct disorder diagnosis to be diagnosed with aspd, and even then, you can't be diagnosed til you're 18 + sometimes people grow out of it with age and maturity. I really can't tell if I'll grow out of it before I turn 18, but it just pmo when someone says they have a certain disorder

Aspd is very complex and it often just get waters down to "heh I commit crimes and be mean and manipulative to people". Which is all wrong. In fact, usually, people with aspd would *hide* those parts of them

Yes, aspd is common. For adults. Not edgy 13 year olds that think they gonna be the next columbine.

For did, I think these people are either:

A) faking lol

B) genuinely thinking they have did but it's probably something else like psychosis.

Another common pattern I see is the lanzastans always having schizophrenia or something.

"heh.... the government is after me...:) the FBI is going to kill me...:)))" lil bro nobody want you not even the FBI LMFAO

BPD Im really unsure about tbf

On one hand, it can just be hormones that these people are mistaking for bpd, or just that it's more common than youd think it is (correct me if I'm wrong, I haven't done my bpd research in like a year)

Another thing, its not ***just*** the TCC that has this issue. Ive been in other communities that also have this issue, im pretty sure this would exist in just about every community. Whether its with the same disorders, or different ones. People are mentally ill and people just wanna be mentally ill

Anyways, in conclusion, people are just edgy, but, sometimes, people actually have those issues and because they are mentally ill they will sympathize with other mentally ill people (whether it be with people inside of this community or the criminals themselves). Mental illness is different for everyone and people will experience different things and will make mistakes, it's a human thing.

Though if they're purposely trying to pretend to be mentally ill for attention or something then they're just lame lol plain and simple

I also believe that you shouldn't straight up claim you have a mental illness if you have no diagnosis or whatnot; it's alright to think about it, but self diagnosing is not the best idea; you can become biased to yourself which blurs the lines of "do I or dont i have this mental illness"

If im wrong with any of this im sorry please correct me im vad at expressing my thoughts haha

Thank you for listening to my podcast I'll see you guys next episode

Noticed that Alot of the people in the tcc have ASPD , DID and sometimes BPD .

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Counting Stars

Summary: Learning about each other's past leaves Joel and Mel to finally talk about their future.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Melanie Summer

Wordcount: 2.9k

Rating: T

Warnings: Soulmate AU, Angst, Pregnancy, talk about forced pregnancies, talk about childbirth, mention of child death, mentions of human experiments, character death, slowish burn, changing POV’s, TW: rape and abuse

Mel talks about her experience with the Fireflies and about the abuse she encountered so the Fireflies could keep her pregnant and experiment. I am not going into detail but please keep that in mind when you choose to read this chapter.

A/N: We are not going to talk about how long it has been since I updated this series. I hope the wait was worth it. I am planing on wrapping up this little series with the next chapter. And I vow to never start posting a fic series, without having a big bunch finished

follow @toomanystoriessolittletime-fics to get notified for updates

Counting Stars Masterlist

✨ four ✨

Unfortunately their plans of talking the next days had to be canceled by a big group of infected getting a little to close for comfort towards Jackson. 

Joel had left just after breakfast, telling both Ellie and Mel that he did not know how long he’ll be gone. 

And so they carried on with their routine. Mel walking Ellie to school. Mel walking back home, taking a nap because holy shit a half hour walk while growing a human is fucking exhausting. 

At lunch time there was a knock on her door and she was surprised to see Tommy carrying a rocking chair inside of the house. 

„Joel told me to bring it to you. He’d been working on it for a couple weeks. Wanted you to have it as soon as it was dry,“ he said and Mel let her fingers brush over the wood.

„He made this? For me?“ She asked and Tommy grinned at her. 

„He’s kind of into you. But don’t tell him I told you that,“ he winked and Mel chuckled, before she frowned.

„Why are you not out on patrol? Shouldn’t you be there with the group?“

„I’ll ride out with the second group in an hour. We should be back tomorrow evening if everything goes according to plan. Now, where do you want that chair?“ He asked.

There was a little room between her bedroom and Joel’s bedroom that had been used as a laundry room before the outbreak. She was more than surprised to find out that Joel had been clearing it out one evening. And when she asked him what he was doing, he told her that her baby will need a room and he thought this would make a perfect nursery. 

Mel might have cried a little, but she was sure she had hidden it quite well (she did not)

So now she was sitting in the rocking chair Joel had made for her, in the empty nursery that needed to be painted. She looked out of the window she had cleaned earlier that week, seeing down the whole street. 

With a hand on her belly she let her thoughts wander towards how her future could look here. 

Safe. 

In a warm home. 

With a family and people that she loved and that loved her in return. 

She knew she loved Ellie like family.

And she knew that even though the universe might have had a say in putting Joel Miller in her path as her soulmate, she knew even without all the marks and everything that was tying them together, that she would have fallen in love with him. 

Because she did love him. 

Which was silly to admit to herself, since she didn’t even know if he had a second name or how old exactly he was. Or if he had any allergies.

She wanted to know everything about Joel. 

With a smile she allowed herself another moment to rock in her new rocking chair, her hand rubbing over her belly before she got up with a groan and walked back downstairs.

Because it was time to pick up Ellie from school.

The next evening, she was back in her rocking chair in the future nursery, a whole bunch of books on the window still next to her, the pink lamp from Ellie’s room that she had personally carried into the nursery, eager to finally get rid of the girly shit in her room (her words), she read through a book with baby names. 

She had written down a couple, finally having the opportunity to name one of the children she had been carrying. It’s why she put a lot of pressure on herself to find the perfect name for her little girl. 

She was so invested in reading through the names she jumped when there was a knock on the opened door of the nursery, the book flying out of her hands and onto the floor as she clutched her chest. 

Joel was standing in the door, looking at her with wide eyes, though apparently fighting against laughing out loud. 

„I’m sorry, I’ve been standing here for a couple of minutes and you didn’t see me…“ he said and Mel closed her eyes, trying to calm down her beating heart. 

„It’s… It’s okay,“ she said after a moment, her eyes opening again. Joel chose that moment to walk over, getting on his knees in front of her to pick up the book. He smiled at her as he gave it back to her, catching the title of the book. 

„You’re looking for a name?“ He asked and she nodded. 

„Got another month to go. So I should at least have some ideas narrowed down I think,“ she said and he nodded. 

„Did everything go well?“ She asked, reaching out to touch his cheek. It was like she could see his shoulders drop in relaxation as she touched him. 

„Everything went fine. Actually been back for two hours already, but I had to pick up all the supplies we need for the garage and the nursery,“ he said with a tired voice.

„What supplies do we need for the nursery? I thought I’d do it all by myself,“ she mumbled and Joel shook his head before he took her hand. 

„I know we did not have a chance to talk yet, but if I had it my way, there would never be a time where you have to do anything by yourself ever again, because it’ll be you and me until the day I die,“ he said and Mel smiled at him.

„Really?“ She asked and he nodded. 

„How about I cook some dinner and we talk?“ He said and Mel found herself nodding.

„Gonna take a shower first though,“ he said and she giggled a small „Thank god“ under her breath that he looked absolutely affronted about before he winked at her, lips twitched into a half smile. 

„Keep reading through those name. I wanna hear the ones you like most,“ he said before he got up and walked out of the nursery.

She didn’t know how scrambled eggs, bread and some cucumber Salad could taste so good, but Mel found herself wishing she could have this everyday. 

Ellie was at a sleepover with Dina (no I do not have a crush on her, what are you talking about Mel?) and Mel was sitting in the kitchen with a freshly showered Joel who had cooked for her. He also told her that he had the next three days off from patrol and that he would start painting the nursery the next morning while she was out with Maria in the community garden so she would not breath any maybe toxic stuff in from twenty year old paint. 

She only had to chose a color. 

„You can never be too careful with things like this,“ he said and then told her he would look out for an air filter when out patrol the next time. She had no idea what that meant or what she would need that for, but she found herself nodding at him anyway. 

They were sitting next to each other, enjoying their little dinner, a candle lit on the table. 

„So… what names did you write down for your little girl?“ He asked after clearing his plate. 

„I like Ella. Imagine…. Ella and Ellie under one roof. Hilarious,“ Mel grinned and Joel chuckled. 

„Not sure if Ellie would hate or love it,“ he said.

„She would definitely love it,“ she said with full confidence. 

„Other than that I have Charlotte, cause I like Charlie for short, Aurora, Leah and Sarah…“ she read her list down before she looked up at Joel again. 

It was like he had seen a ghost. 

„Is everything okay?“ She asked concerned. She took his hand that was laying on the table, his hand clenched into a fist. 

„Joel?“ She asked and he blinked out of whatever spell he was under, looking at her. He cleared his throat before he took a deep breath. 

„I….I had a daughter named Sarah….“ He began. 

And then he told Mel. Everything. Starting from the moment he found out the girl he had a drunk one night stand on his 17th birthday was pregnant. How everything changed the moment he held his baby girl in his arms for the first time, already knowing he would be a single parent to her.

The mother, Susie, had been five months along when she found out that she was pregnant. And while her first though was to give the baby up for adoption, she couldn’t do it without talking to Joel first. 

And Joel?

Joel found himself agreeing to take the girl, his daughter, in and raise her by himself before he could question his decision. 

And it had been the best decision he ever made. Sarah changed everything for him. She changed who he was. Made him the best version of himself.

And when she died in his arms on outbreak day, she changed him again. 

Into a much darker and angrier version of himself. A version of himself he was even scared of sometimes. 

He told Mel about how he tried to end it all just days after Sarah’s death, the pain of losing his daughter and purpose in life making him hurt so badly, he could not take it anymore. 

And how after he flinched on that day, he just shut parts of him off to be able to continue to… exist. 

Because the moment his baby girl died, life was not worth living for him anymore. He had only existed to take care of his brother since Sarah was gone. 

He told Mel about the brutality of the life he lived. How he told himself the things he did were the only way to live in this world. 

He told her about Tess and how sometimes at night when he was alone he wondered if she knew how much she had helped him just by being there. 

He told her about Marlene approaching him to take a girl, Ellie, to the Fireflies, not knowing why. Joel never thought it would be Ellie who would be the key to finding parts of himself again, he thought died over twenty years ago. 

And he told Mel that thinking back he knew he was in love with her the moment he first looked into her green eyes. 

They had settled on the couch halfway through their talk. Joel with a beer, Mel with a tea.  She listened to his story, his life and she knew that now that she knew everything about him, she had to tell her about herself too. 

„I don’t remember much from outbreak day. I was 19 and visiting my dad. I had to… I was the one who had to kill him,“ she said and felt Joel’s arm wrap around her shoulders. 

„You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to,“ he mumbled against her temple. She looked at him. 

„You told me your story. You should know mine,“ she said with a sad smile. 

„I jumped around QZ’s for almost ten years before I met Caleb. Things…. I thought things were good with Caleb. And when I was sure I could trust him, I told him about being immune to cordyceps. He would see it sooner or later because I thought I was in love with him and I was a twenty six year old virgin during the outbreak so….“

„Is it… this scar?“ Joel asked, rubbing over his left thigh where Mel knew the bite was. He remembered the day he noticed the new scar almost two weeks after the outbreak.  

„Yeah. Can you imagine it was my Dad who bit me? Well the… infected version of my Dad. It took me a month to get to a QZ after it happened and it just healed without much of a scar. I don’t know why. Maybe because it was so early on but… yeah. Anyway…. I told Caleb about it and then we had sex,“ Mel shrugged, a tear slipping down her cheek. 

„It was the only time I ever had sex because I wanted to. Everything that happened after was… it was hell,“ she whispered. 

She didn’t look at Joel for the next part. 

When she told him about being taken to the Fireflies. About how they „tested“ if she really was immune by getting her bit repeatedly. She told him about only remembering little of the first months. She was on drugs almost all the time, only waking up when they used flaming hot metal to cauterise her bites. Her, and in return Joels body was littered with scars and she told him how sorry she was for that. 

She told him about Marlene and how she tried to make Mel see the bigger picture. How she and her sacrifice could be the key to getting rid of the Cordycep infection. 

Marlene was also there when she was raped. Over and over again until she was pregnant. 

„I never got to see any of them,“ Mel whispered when she told him about the babies. 

„As soon as I got into labour I was knocked out, waking up hours or days later with my baby gone and Marlene telling me that it didn’t work out. I…“ she sobbed and Joel pulled her into his lap. She didn’t see that he was crying too. 

He just held her as she cried, his hand rubbing over her back, his other hand on her belly. A place he found his hand resting on often lately. He felt a tiny kick and Mel whimpered before she looked up at Joel. 

„I can not go through that again. If I lose her, if I don’t get to meet her, it will kill me,“ she said. 

„You will not lose her. I will keep you and her safe. I promise,“ he said before he kissed Mel’s forehead. 

„We both sure are some fucked up soulmates, huh?“ She said after a while and Joel sighed with a sad smile as he reached up to brush her tears away. 

„Yeah we are,“  he shook his head. 

„Joel?“ She asked. 

„Hm?“

„Do you want to take a bath with me? My back is killing me?“

„You want me in the bath with you?“ He frowned, hands already getting sweaty just thinking about it. 

„Yeah. I want you to hold me like this. Is that okay?“ She asked. 

„But will you be… okay?“ His eyes pointed to his crotch and he swore he could feel her cheeks heat up with how close they were. 

„I trust you Joel,“ she whispered. 

„Because…. Because I think I’m in love with you,“ she added and Joel was sure his heart stopped for a moment, before a small smile sneaked to his lips. 

„That… Okay. That’s.. yeah,“ he blushed and Mel actually giggled.

How had he not taken a bath before?

This was heaven. He felt like he was floating. Everything smelled so good and Mel’s skin was so fucking soft as he held her in his arms.

Maybe it was weird to see each other naked before they even kissed, but he didn’t care. 

He could tell that she was nervous as she undressed herself, her body littered with not only her scars but his. Both of their bodies mirrored their journey to each other and even though he hated what she had to go through to get to him and vice versa, he wouldn’t change it if the outcome was the same. 

Because she was in his arms, safe and healthy and about to become a mother in an environment that was as safe as it could be nowadays. 

„Joel?“ She asked, head resting against his chest, her fingers playing with his hand on her stomach. 

„Hmm?“

„What do you think about Charlotte Sarah Miller as a name?“ She continued to play with his fingers. He was sure his heart stopped.

„Miller?“ He gasped out and she nodded. 

„You might not be her biological Father but… You have kept her safe by keeping me safe. You build a rocking chair. You’re building a nursery. I…“ she slowly turned around until she was kneeling between his legs so she could look at him. 

„I want us to be a real family. Now I know we’ve only known each other for like… a short time but with us being soulmates and all I like to think we’re in for the long haul.“

„We are,“ he agreed, loving how Mel’s face lit up. 

„Yeah?“ She asked.

„Yeah. And for the record. I would love it to be her dad,“ he said and she smiled.

„You would?“

„I already love her mom so much, how could I not love the daughter she’s gonna give me?“ He asked and before he had the chance to say something else Mel had leaned in to kiss his lips. Softly at first, before she moaned softly and climbed into his lap, Joel’s arms wrapping around her and getting her as close as her belly let him. 

„You love me?“ She asked against his lips. 

„Of course I love you. I think I loved you before I knew you,“ he said and she kissed him again. 

„Can I sleep in your bed tonight?“ She asked. 

„Always,“ he promised before he kissed her again. 

[wampisblossoms]

okay. this is going to sound like i'm insane but Brook, literally Brook from One Piece, is helping me with my psychosis.

so i have multiple psychosis monsters. sometimes they just stand there menacingly, sometimes i can hear or feel them moving, but i know their presence. one of them is this ridiculously tall thing, he's extremely skinny that it looks like he's a skeleton. literally.

lately i've been trying to think about how to make myself feel more at ease despite the psychosis. and i just realized. i can just think ahout them as other things.

now whenever i feel this fella's presence i think of him as Brook and i suddenly feel safe. i can hear the 'YOHOHOHOHO' there. like he's protecting me from the rest

thank you silly skeleton man. i am safe from the monsters

[smile-files]

there's something interesting to be said about how nickel's female friends have to constantly school him on how horrible he is but animationepic won't say it

[naomiknight-17]

@scarlet-gryphon requested Leon Biscuits

And I am sure that this is exactly what they meant. Also I got a bit carried away

I like cats and I like cookies, what can I say

[awfullybigwardrobe44]

Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. (26) My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. —Psalm 73:25-26

[tackrusso]

show tempe gang crossover with the morris islanders would actually have been the best episode of bones ever. btw