#but physical books are just so much nicer to read

[thezombieprostitute]

The Prey

A/N: Follow up to The Hunt. Entirely written on my phone.

A/N2: Reader is big, tall and female.

Warnings: Implied smut, Implied violence, Self-deprecation, Stalking. Please let me know if I missed any.

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It feels like you've been on edge the entire week. Like you're being stalked, but every time you look, there's no one there. Figuring you could use a break you decide to eat at your favorite place for dinner. You're sitting in a booth at the pub, reading a book and eating some dinner when a man you don't know sits across from you.

"Damn you're cute," he says.

"No I'm not. And I really don't appreciate lying."

He gives you a confused look, "what do you mean?"

"I am, objectively speaking, unattractive. The way you said I was cute indicates a feeling of attraction and, let's be honest, that's not possible."

"You don't even know me but you really think I'm that shallow?"

"Look, it's not your fault society dictates attractiveness. Maybe it's just not something you ever had to deal with because you are very much an ideal. You've got beautiful eyes, a physique that is tall, muscular and healthy. And it just makes me wonder what's wrong with you that you're not already taken and you're slumming it with someone like me."

"Slumming it?" he asks incredulously.

"Yes," you nod. "All my curves are disproportionate to each other, too much here, too little there. I've got chin hairs and regularly get acne. My eyes are, at best, normal and boring. And let's not even get started on my hair. It's also a fact that men do not care for women as tall or taller than them. I am, objectively, physically unattractive. So when you call me cute, I have to believe you're lying."

"You are very weird," he shakes his head.

"I am," you agree. "Then again, you're the one who interrupted my dinner."

"Just trying to give you a compliment," he groans as he gets up.

"And all you accomplished was interrupting my reading."

You pick your book back up and pretend to read. Your eyes follow him as he heads back to his buddies. Your suspicions are confirmed when you see him hand some cash over to one of his buddies.

It's not the first time bets have been placed at your expense and it won't be the last. It's always a game of getting the ugly girl's hopes up. String her along and then break her heart while leaving her with the tab.

Maybe you'd have been nicer about it if you hadn't been so on edge lately.

Across the bar you don't notice Kraven watching you. It took all of his strength to not step in and punch the bastard so hard he'd never breathe right again. And when you kept talking down about yourself he quietly growled with rage. When you're his mate, he'll make sure you never feel less than gorgeous.

And you will be his mate. He's been following you, trying to find flaws, reasons to walk away, but he can't. You've picked up on him following you, indicating an alertness beyond most humans. Despite obviously being upset, you still helped anyone and everyone at the library without them even guessing you weren't feeling well, indicating your suitability for raising offspring.

And when you tried to release some of that stress in the privacy of your apartment? He breathed in the scent the next day when he broke into your apartment. It was all over your panties that now reside near his bed. It isn't quite "bitch-in-heat" but it still gets him going.

But first, he's going to follow those assholes who messed with you and make sure they never do so again.

Soon he'll have everything needed for your new home. He's determined to show his quality as a mate, as a provider, by building you a dream den. It'll have everything you've ever wanted and needed. Perfect for raising your children.

The only thing you might not like is his rule about no outside contact. At least not until you're fully his. But he's sure it won't take long. You're incredibly smart, kind and you'll know it's meant to be.

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Tagging: @alicedopey ; @delicatebarness ; @hederasgarden @icefrozendeadlyqueen ; @irishhappiness ; @kmc1989; @lokislady82 ; @ronearoundblindly

[rick-rayson]

LUCY MACLEAN┊ DATING HCS

A/N: I'm back to feed my own obsessions hi hello beenaminit

NOTES: POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOR THE FALLOUT SHOW!! Though I tried to keep it very ambiguous

┊BEFORE DATING:

Let's be honest Lucy probably fell first, whether you're a Vault Dweller or Wastelander it doesn't matter. Despite the privileges of the vaults, Vault 33 has hardwired Lucy's brain to freely feel and act on emotions with vigor.

Having been raised in a meritocracy, Lucy believes the best way to win your affections is through active illustrations of her skills, knowledge, and attentiveness. Very much an acts of service person.

And very, very bad flirting.

"You're really well learned in enacting violence!"

"You're so good at- um- shooting. People."

"How's it going?" She asks as she leans on a rusted mailbox.

It breaks and she falls over.

Just. Really bad.

You're likely aware that she fancies you before she even realizes. She's not good at hiding her expressions at all.

Not so subtly checking you out or admiring you whenever you just, exist, tbh

Despite it all, she won't make the first move to save her life. Tiptoeing on the line of what ifs and what isn't. You're going to have to take one for the team.

┊DATING:

She's actually a huge loser

Absolute girl failure

She's trying so hard though

Proximity is a must. If you're dating Lucy, you quickly become fundamental to her sense of peace.

At first it's a bit much, being in the wasteland kind of messes up her sense of boundaries a bit in a desperation to have you as much as possible.

You have to remind her flat out that it is not, in fact, the norm to follow your partner as they try to find a private place to pee.

She's a bit of a freak honestly.

SOMETHING is up with her but she's so much nicer and kinder than anyone on the surface that you don't mind much.

Uses terms of endearment but sparingly, mostly in private.

You could wake up and look like a feral ghoul and she'd still look at you with a big smile like, "Hey Doll/Hun. Sleep well?"

Craves softness and physical affection but feels as though she cannot have it. Everyone is quick to tell her what kind of person she needs to be on the surface so she's hesitant to express her affections sometimes.

But the more you show her that your touch is not meant to harm, but to love, she'll reciprocate.

Pretty touchy, subtle mostly, a hand on your back, a hand rubbing your arm, tracing your palm with her thumb.

When you two first started dating she very shyly asked if she could place her sleeping bag near yours, you could only laugh.

Whenever she scavenges food (or anything even slightly digestible) she's always offering it to you first.

Sometimes she just craves a really good make-out. She's good at repressing whatever bullshit the wasteland throws at her but she's not about to say no to a make-out session.

Whenever she finds cool knick-knacks she gifts them to you. Pins, random comic books

"I found another Grognak book-! Oh, oh wait, no, no we've already read this one :/"

hats. Lots of hats. Neat hats.

"Well don't you look dapper?" She grins as she places a sun hat on your head.

Honestly depends on you a bit. Though she's aware of the fact the surface is dangerous, it's a different thing to have to experience it.

Tells you all about Vault 33 and what her childhood was like over campfire. You learn very quickly why she is the way she is.

She can be an easy person to sway so she honestly needs you as her rock, her bad cop if you will.

Most nights she'll only sleep if you sleep first, watching over you for a bit before indulging in rest.

Kinda just stares at you a whole lot, but she means well.

Will always be the first to elect to take care of you, and gets a bit possessive in that respect.

Almost completely tackled Maximus to the floor when you got hurt and raced to use whatever she had on hand. She does not care if it's the last Stimpak they have, she WILL do anything to make sure you're okay.

She cares for you so deeply, as you're likely her first ever love.

She falls first, and she falls hard.

Always fixes up your clothes before heading out or patting down your garments, It's a post-apocalyptic wasteland, no one cares about appearances, but you know that Lucy does it to retain a sense of normalcy for herself.

A little thing that she's good at is being persuasive, it's a subtle thing, but Lucy is acutely aware that sometimes batting her eyelashes or giving a pretty please can get her to where she needs or what she wants.

She most definitely uses it on you.

And uh.. NSFW headcanons?

SHE'S A FREAK!

AN ABSOLUTE FREAKZOID!!

That is all. c:

[hhoneylemon]

𝘫𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘰 𝘣𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘴

warnings: bad writing perhaps

How Does He Act With A Crush?

he’s so cute when he has a crush. he finds excuses to hang out with you, he’s nicer to you than he is to anyone. he does his best to charm you with his ‘bad boy’ persona and then drops it to just be that soft funny guy. he’ll let you borrow his books and he’ll read any you recommend, he lets you borrow his cds, sneaks you free stuff from luke’s, probably steals something of yours to remember you by when he’s sitting alone.

Love Languages

i think jess is an acts of services and gift giving kind of guy. he’ll annotate books for you, give you books, drive you around, carry things for you. he’ll let you drag him places as long as it makes you happy too. he keeps your best interests in his heart. he struggles with voicing his feelings. he’s physically affectionate, but it’s mostly hand holding and kissing.

Gifts

he definitely listens to you when you talk. he learns what your favorite candy is to randomly give to you when you’re hanging out. he gives you books based off your taste and he expects you to tell him what it was about and if you liked it or not. he buys you cds and records of your favorite artists and does his best to find collectors items too. has bought you little antique trinkets that are genuinely adorable.

Dates

like i said, he takes mental notes on what you talk about, he’s a great listener. if you mention having seen a new restaurant open he’ll take you there for dinner. he enjoys taking you out for ice cream (there’s ice cream at the diner, but no cones), taking you book shopping, record shopping, seeing a bad movie to make fun of it (at home or in theatre), going to concerts or small gigs. he loves just walking around with you and talking too. keeps a hand in your back pocket or an arm around your waist. if you ask him to a town event he’ll complain about it and say no for a while but if you keep asking he’ll probably say yes, or he’ll come up with an alternative date.

Kisses

when you first start dating he genuinely cannot stop kissing you. stops you mid conversation to kiss you and then goes back in his same position to listen to you continue talking. kisses your cheek when he really wants to kiss you but you’re ranting. kisses you to shut you up. of you want him to shut up, it's effective on him as well. kiss him and you can get you whatever you want. he’d give you the world if you asked, anyways.

Random

he does magic tricks for you!! sometimes your brain hurts from reading so much or you’re studying and you want a break so he busts out his cards and just does some tricks for you. sometimes he’ll take you to the lake and you two sit on the bridge and sit in silence, holding hands and looking at the water while thinking about whatever. whenever he’s upset, this is his favorite thing to do with you. he honestly doesn’t peg me as the jealous type. unless you outright hang out with an ex or a guy who clearly has a crush on you, he won’t care. he trusts you. he’ll ho to parties with you, but he makes sure both of you steer clear from drinking. while yes, he would normally drink at a party, you’re here and he doesn’t want to worry you and he certainly doesn’t want you drinking. he would stop smoking for you if you asking him to!! sometimes you to sit in the park/town square and he’ll be reading on the grass while you’re sitting on a bench and his head is between your knees so you can play with his hair. it calms him down, and also it’s fun to mess up his hair without his knowing. he offers his jacket to you when it’s cold and then you get to watch him start shivering before he wraps an arm around your waist to keep you close to him for a bit of warmth. he takes care if you before himself!! if you say you need help he’s immediately coming to your rescue. stuck on a homework question? he’ll figure it out, don’t worry. your car won’t run? he’ll figure it out, don’t worry. your sink won’t stop dripping? he’s no plumber, but it shouldn’t be too hard. pet names are weird to him, but a small ‘babe’ or ‘baby’ will leave his lips inbetween kisses or when he’s about to softly correct you on something. whenever you talk he’s looking at you with the softest eyes, a small smile on his lips. he seriously doesn’t understand what he did to interest you in him. sometimes he’s mean bc he’s mean to everyone and it’s his defense mechanism against the world. blows you off when he’s upset but the longer you’re together the better he gets at communicating he’s upset and letting you try to improve his mood. please hug him and let him hold you and kiss your hair it’ll do wonders for him. he’s half hopeless romantic half asshole. he’s such a loser boyfriend. the beginning of the relationship is puppylove and then it leads to real love and he doesn’t know how to handle it. it’s amazing but scary.

he loves you, he just doesn’t know how to tell you because he’s never been loved back before.

[pins-snip]

Heyo! I wanted to post our build book somewhere so here we gooo

We stole the table of context ontop of finished photo idea from @sarahspaceman who I'm sure saw it from somewhere else. Our cosplays are a little out there so I wanted to give a debrief on just how we came up with this concept along with a way for the judges to find more materials.

Since this wasn't a thing that existed in any sort of media it was very important to me that the judges would know that we picked from historical imagery, so I wanted to have pictures as examples of what things were supposed to look like. In addition to giving examples from the games of imagery that we used in case they were unfamiliar.

You'll begin to notice a trend of pictures that have their background removed, I just wanted to be able to fit more stuff on the page without compromising space. I also tried to block like sections together to draw the eye easier when reading about certain pieces.

Another thing that I tried to do was keep in mind what the book would look like in physical form, so we tried to mirror where we could.

Fun fact, because I had this pattern notated I was able to go back and use it to make more trim when I decided my butt was too bare. Luigi's Hosen page too a log of finagling to get it too look right with the amount of text I wanted to be on there.

Because we ended up condensing some stuff together, we ended up with an extra page, page 12 became a "here's everything we haven't talked about yet that we want to talk about" By the time we sent off the book for Metro, we hadn't updated the shoes page with their new stained leather- they look much nicer now.

Snip went into a work frenzy and didn't take any photos of him covering the base in worble, but you can take my word for it that it did happen! (I was busy weaving when he was knocking Chain2.0 out) I love love love how the Poltergust turned out. It's a functional backpack and is super sturdy!

Hope you enjoyed our build book! It took us probably about 12 hours to put it together originally and then another 5 to redo the parts of it that didn't make sense in our late night frenzy the first time.

[littledead-ridinghood]

sorry if this is a weird question to drop on you you were just the first person I thought of who might know but do you know if it's canon/canonically-based evidence that jason is physically stronger than other bats because I always see people say jason is the one with "brute strength" and I can't remember if that's based on anything besides people saying that as a nicer way to call him a brute(maybe it was on lobdells stuff? but I wiped most of those out of my memory)

You thought of me first? <333333 I'm blushing. And it's not weird at all! Even if it was, I love answering weird shit.

Anyway:

So part of Jason being considered "the muscle" of the bats comes from the fact that Jason's currently the biggest of the robins. (Adult!Damian is usually drawn as the tallest of the kids when all is said n' done (that's vague for "age")).

Well, how big then?

I always go with this chart which was released while UtRH was being released:

(I Love this! I wish DC still did little info things like this within their comics. Or maybe they do and I'm just blind. But Look! Canonical Information!)

So canonically speaking, at least when running around pre-crisis, Jason is 6 feet tall and 180 pounds. (Also note criminal mastermind and put a pin in it)

But you've probably heard 200 & 220 thrown around a lot. Those numbers are specifically pulled from two different DC character encyclopedia books which I don't trust at all because there notoriously filled with false information and are dubbed as not canon all the time.

Personally, I use the 6', 180-195 pound range which estimates for fluctuating weight, the passage of time, muscle mass, and minimum bulk & cutting (which I assume is part of most superheroes' training to stay in fighting form, but please recognize that vigilantes are more athlete than bodybuilder) because it's from a canon source (Canon is "king" and all that). No shame to people who use the other numbers or even headcanon something completely different, but again, vigilantes are predominantly running all over cities day after day, not stagnant weight lifters. Cardio vs weights body compositions are quite different even if both are healthy. (And it's not all "swimmer's body illusion" either (they have that body because they swim? No, they swim because they have that body.)

How much muscle mass a person can maximally obtain is up to your genetics. But that max only comes with constant maintainment. It's not feasible for Jason to be doing all that cardio and also have that much muscle mass and fat. Cardio burns "fat" (calories), weights build muscle. We constantly see the former and former-adjacent workouts more than the latter with him. Jason is running across rooftops, flipping off them before falling into a shoulder roll onto the next roof over chasing after bad guys every night. The number of calories he'd have to eat and time put into lifting weights (too many reps a week lead to damage, not growth) to maintain his max (max being what a lot of weights category athletes try to achieve which Jason just hasn't been shown to be (except in his jailbird phase where he could literally only lift weights, read, and avoid being killed to pass the time)) isn't possible.

Using comic art to "prove" how much he weighs doesn't work either. Firstly, because everyone wears weight differently. Two people can be the same height, weight, and sex and look completely different. This is due to different body types, composition, genetics, diet, (what kind of) exercise, and many other factors. Assuming someone thinner is automatically "super light" doesn't factor in different body compositions (fat, muscle, bone percentages). (yes, I know it's stupid to apply science to comics. There's my digression. let me live). Secondly, Jason (just like everything else about him) isn't drawn consistently at all. Sometimes he's pretty damn massive, but we also have Twink and Twunk Jason (DC can't even decide on hair color? Do you think they're gonna decide on his body?).

So, comic book art isn't super reliable as evidence unless we want to theorize if, how, and why he seems to fluctuate between weights all the time (<- Which I have a whole headcanon about if anyone's curious), especially in comparison to the others because, seriously, it's totally a Jason thing. Most characters are pretty consistent in body type. Anyway, someone could argue "See! he is 210!" but it's also not for a long enough period to stick around :/ Again, hard to consistently maintain that much weight as a 6-foot-tall, cardio-based athlete.

Also note: DC is horrible when it comes to weight-to-height lineups. A woman hero can be ~5'7'' and then we're told she's 110 lbs which Fact 1. is considered underweight for this kind of height-to-sex ratio, Fact 2. probably isn't factoring in the fact that muscle is heavier than fat, she just "looks thin", and 3. Usually, totally, absolutely is just blatant sexism.

Really, the numbers don't seriously mean anything of actual substance because their comics, are unreliable, and also usually just...scientifically wrong. But Jason's perception on page, as well as the information we've been told, is one reason he's considered "brute strength first and foremost."

Furthermore, Jason has been shown repeatedly to be on par with Bruce (even when Jason, most of the time, plays defense in their physical fights) but many people chalk this up to him and Bruce having similar physiques making it "easier". Again, counter-productive argument because Bruce and Jason have been drawn very similarly before in stories as well as completely different from each other in others. Also, this purposefully, blatantly ignores Jason's actual skills. No one chalks Dick Grayson or Cassandra Cain beating Bruce up to their body types. Moreover, when Bruce and Jason are drawn similarly in body, no one refers to Bruce as "Brute Strength" either. Bruce gets to be tactical, strategic, clever. (Also Also: In Pre-Crisis, Bruce, Dick, and Jason are deliberately drawn to look similar (height, mass, looks, etc.) to get that Brothers in Blood effect. Still, No one chalks the formers up to all strength. Just Jason)

And that brings us to your question, Anon: Is there canonical evidence for Jason being stronger than the other Bats?

Remember how I told you to put a pin in that "Occupation: Criminal Mastermind" note? Well, first off, Jason creating jobs for his community. Go off, king. Second off, and more importantly so, "Mastermind": a person who supplies the directing or creative intelligence for a project (Merriam-Webster).

When Jason was first re-introduced, what made Jason dangerous was that he was highly skilled and smart. He was playing with both Black Mask and Batman like a cat batting a toy mouse. He orchestrated an entire "slow-growing" takeover of Gotham's underworld (he was actually very quick about it). Jason controlled the situation and planned so well that he had the villains and heroes who were both after him fighting each other so he could slip away and do what he actually needed to do.

Throughout Jason's history, he's always had tools with him when he fights. To the point that Bruce says to Jaybin "You won't always have this" cutting his utility belt, insinuating he relies too much on it, which Jason returns the favor to on his return and fights B hand to hand <3 Love a cocky callback. Furthering this, he knows many, many different fighting styles and techniques both from life experience and from extensive training. Jason's a quick learner by nature and is incredibly adaptive. Guns; knives; swords; pens; sets bombs to specifically implode, not explode; makeshift gadgets; a baseball bat just laying around; a tire jack that one time; brains. I could go on. Jason doesn't just hit things. He uses what he has as a means to an end. He's canonically known as one of the best strategists in-universe and is incredibly creative with his surroundings. Jason isn't just great at extensive, long-term planning either. Bruce himself has remarked on the fact that Jason thinks incredibly quickly on his feet, he's really good at improvisation. Concisely, he has plans A-G and if all those fail, he can pull something out of nothing. Contrast this with Bruce who needs to have a plan for everything. Even if it doesn't look like he's following a plan, Bruce is. Opposed to Jason who can go with the flow and figure it out along the way.

Jason even said this in present-era in TFZ:

And that's the whole point, isn't it? Jason is strong. Incredibly so. He's big and tall and has gorgeous thighs. Not to mention, has a mean right hook. But just because Jason's strong doesn't mean he isn't a bat first and foremost who relies on his brain before anything else. He died 4'6 (on his death certificate, his height varies depending on what source you pull) and famously had to defend himself his entire life ever before being Robin. Being young and small and forced to survive shaped Jason into a quick thinker who could either get away or take enemies 10x his size down. Nowadays, he just has a longer reach.

In Event Levithan when Damian says: "Jason Todd is one of the Great Master fighters of all time" He doesn't say strongest because Damian doesn't mean strongest. Damian means adaptable, smart, capable, and well-rounded in skill.

While I don't doubt that Jason is most definitely one of the strongest Bats due to his size, what makes Jason dangerous is not his body, but the fact that he knows how to use it. It's not "Brute Strength" as many people like to say, it's Strategic Strength. He knows just because he's stronger than someone doesn't mean he'll always win. A la see panels above. Jason knows throwing his body around won't do anything of real, long-term substance. That it's just blindsided and stupid.

I'm sure if I looked I could pull panels where other bats and/or vigilantes refer to Jason as the muscle, brute (strength), all brawn (no brain), other such implications, etc, but whenever people do, it's always to undermine Jason's skill. Because it's not actually about his strength. Jason, with his taller, more built form, makes walking quiet seem easy. And it looks easy because he's good. Jason himself knows his skill set, it's everyone else that undermines him time and time and time again. (Again, Event Levithan, Bruce doesn't agree with Damian's statement even though Jason just outsmarted the six or so people who all just tried to take him down (for something Jason didn't even do, mind you))

But, again from Damian, Jason's not known as "the muscle," he's "the emotional one" also usually used to...degrade Ja--We can't have anything nice apparently is what I'm saying. But yes, when people refer to Jason as "Brute Strength" it's usually them trying to find a nicer way of saying Brute or "thinks with his fists" or "Jason hits first, asks questions later." It's in the same vein as when people say "Jason likes books" as short-hand for "see, he's smart at something" rather than acknowledging that Jason achieved a degree's worth of knowledge in comp-sci by age 13.

Anyway Smart and Strong Jason, my beloved. I wish DC & others loved you as much as Rosenburg and the teams of artists he's been working with do.

[gffa]

One of the biggest hurdles with the Lockwood and Co. books is that they're set entirely from Lucy Carlyle's point of view and there is a whole lot of body shaming that really set my teeth on edge when I first read it. Some of it is still just awful, but I've come around on that I can read a lot of it as Lucy's unexamined issues from childhood rearing their heads in some nasty ways.

Her relationships with all the characters around her are contentious and full of conflict even just in her thoughts, she's so nasty to George, to Holly, to the Skull, to Kipps, to Barnes, etc. It most especially comes out with Holly (and Kat Godwin before her, then Flo Bones as well) and it's very easy to read Lucy as reacting badly to her own attraction to women, her envy of them and her inability to let herself be attracted to them, because she's closed off so tightly.

But it's also her relationship with the Skull, who she constantly argues with and says she hates, she has nothing but poison for it in her thoughts, but as soon as it goes missing, she's desperate to get it back.

It's also in her relationship with George, who she constantly nettles and thinks mean thoughts about, but it's obvious that she cares about him deeply and has grown to love him as a friend, even if she can't necessarily admit that to herself.

Her entire dynamic with Holly is centered around how feminine Holly is, how pretty she is, how Lucy just cannot stop thinking about how Holly dresses, how she does her hair, how soft her skin looks, how her little hand motions are so delicate and proper. And, yeah, some of it is envy and feeling insecure, that other people will like Holly more than her, but it's also just so much attention on all the little details that it comes off as unrealized physical attraction.

And then suddenly, I'm looking at all of the relationships Lucy has with people, where almost all the people she likes and respects are ones she's nasty to. Which clicked into place for me when she went back to visit her home town and was miserable there, the poor relationship she had with her family suddenly making so much sense in the way she rejects people before they can reject her, that she's so terrified of being vulnerable that she schools her thoughts and actions and words into prickly meanness so that she doesn't get hurt when they don't want her.

Lockwood is the exception to this, because he's the one who took all her nastiness and kept being mostly kind to her, he allowed a certain amount of vulnerability to himself and Lucy slowly started to come around on him and thought nicer of him. Sure, part of it is that she has feelings for him and so her thoughts are kinder, but I think it goes hand in hand with the way Lockwood is the one that never really sniped back at her or egged her on in any way, he started to feel safe to her, he started to feel secure to her.

And then she breaks his trust! She sneaks into the locked room to find out about his history, in a moment of anger and frustration, she breaks the thing that he asked them not to poke into, and she knows he would have every right to be angry enough at her to kick her out! But he's nice to her about it! He says, no, it was time to tell you guys about it anyway. He's open and vulnerable about something that she desperately feared rejection over!

Which is of course why her feelings reach a certain point and she has to acknowledge them, she can't deny them anymore, so the slightest push (the ghost wearing Lockwood's face, saying that she would do this to him, get him killed) has her running off from the agency and going independent, because she's terrified that she'll get Lockwood killed/terrified of actually stepping across that line into having feelings that could really hurt her if she's not accepted.

She's complicated and messy and I love her, she's a great character with a great, dynamic arc--but it does require reading into some of the more problematic elements of the character and taking a more generous view of them, even when I know much of the real answer is that the author probably didn't see the problem with the way he would have her describe characters (especially anyone that was overweight) and you have to find the mental line you're willing to walk with that. But if you're okay with wincing through some of the earliest stuff, I think there's a really cool Hot Mess Lady character waiting on the other side.

[lozchi]

I was looking around and I was wondering. What if Taehun had a loser girlfriend who's literally the complete opposite of him. Like she's wayyy nicer then him (too nice), probably a push over, and not that smart. But she's the comfort he wants ykyk I'M SORRY I'M THAT LOSER GF I JS WANT A MAN LIKE TAEHOON

Dummy!

A/N: worry not, anon. I'm that loser GF too. 😭 This'll be shorter than my usual, forgive me. I loved writing this so much though. 🫀🥹

Pairing: Taehoon Seong x F!Reader

Themes: reader being an idiot. if you're familiar with my writing, there is always swearing.

To some, it’s baffling how one could fall for Taehoon Seong out of all people. He’s a pretty guy with captivating eyes and graceful movements, nghhh~ he's undeniably irresistible, isn't he? Every girl around him would think the same, swooning left and right due to his insane visuals -- Tsk! He's gorgeous! And you weren’t any different. In fact, you were his biggest simp.

It was a curious pairing, to say the least—Mr. Bad Boy and Miss Too-Good-For-Your-Own-Good.

Taehoon strode into the room with the kind of attitude that made people step aside. His arrogance and aggression were palpable. “Do I look like a fuckin’ bank to ya? I ain’t lending 7000, got it? Now scram before I beat the shit outta ya.”

You, on the other hand, were the epitome of kindness and generosity. “Sure! You can borrow 200,000 won from me! Just pay it as soon as you can!” Yeah, incredibly dumb too, unfortunately.

Taehoon had an uncanny ability to read people like an open book. “You think I’m stupid enough to fall for that?” He’d snap, seeing through deceptions with ease.

Meanwhile, “Always happy to help!” You remained blissfully unaware of how people took advantage of you.

Taehoon lived by his own rules, always favoring his own brand of logic. “I’m doing this my way. It’s more efficient.” he would declare, unyielding in his methods.

And then there was you, grappling with concepts that seemed beyond your grasp. “Fuck this shit, I don’t understand a thing!”

“It’s math.” He'd say, almost bemused.

“I hate it.” you’d retort, your frustration evident.

“Those are just numbers.” he would explain.

“Fuck numbers, bruh!” you’d respond, exasperated.

“USE THE THEOREMS, GOD DAMN IT!”

“WHAT THEOREMS!?!” you’d cry out in desperation.

In physical prowess, he was unmatched, while you... Uhh... “How many more laps? It’s been ages!” you’d complain during your grueling training sessions.

“It’s been 5 fucking minutes, y/n,” he’d respond, barely breaking a sweat.

You were expressive, a fucking drama queen. While he remained, well, Taehoon.

When you’d proclaim, “I love you!” your heart on your sleeve, he’d respond with a gruff, “Of course I feel the same, dummy.”

A small injury would elicit your dramatic reaction: “Ouch! That stings!” while he’d barely bat an eye and say, “Be careful next time, you dimwit.”

You might sob over a movie, your emotions spilled out loud, and he’d- “Boooo. 0 stars. Too many plot holes. ”

Sometimes, vulnerability hits you, “Ugly crying in my bed right now,” and he’d cut through the sadness with an - “Alright, who the fuck hurt you?”

Happiness flowed from you like a river when you were with him. “I’m so happy when I’m with you~” To which he’d retort, “Same-- Ugh! Will you wipe that grin off?”

When you voiced how something hurt you, he’d reply bluntly, “Sometimes we just have to suck it up.”

“Can’t you be a little more sensitive?” But he'd always try. “I’m trying to understand where you’re coming from.”

And in the wake of betrayal, you’d lament, “Aughh, I just didn’t expect her to backstab me like that, I’m so stupid!” He’d offer a rough kind of comfort, “Want me to kick her in the ass?”

But beneath all these differences—your gentleness against his toughness, your warmth melting through his cold exterior—there was balance.

There was love.

There was harmony.

If it wasn’t already clear, he needed you just as much as you needed him.

From time to time, Taehoon shows his vulnerable side. You have to remember, he's just a human being and he can't always keep up his tough guy persona.

He grapples with uncertainties, worried that without caution, he could distance himself from you and ultimately be left alone.

He carries a burden of past mistakes that weighs heavily on his shoulders. It's an injury he seldom recognizes, yet it impacts all his decisions in a subtle way.

The thought of his previous mistakes coming back to trouble him and harming his loved ones worries him deeply.

However, despite feeling clearly insecure, Taehoon, being Taehoon, decides to never address it openly.

These ideas, though, are simply possibilities. He always puts in the effort to avoid making mistakes.

You understand there’s more beneath the surface and always offer him gentle reassurance.

“Taehoon, you’re here now, and that’s what matters. I’m with you, no matter what.”

In his own way, he cherishes the balance you bring to his life.

After all, even a bad boy needs a good girl to keep him grounded.

As you look at him, with all his imperfections and flaws, you smile and say, “I love you.”

And he looks back at you with a rare, genuine smile and replies, “Yeah, I love you too, dummy.”

[rangercorpstherapy]

There is a post about ableism in the sorcerer/siege of Macindaw books. I'm not going to reply directly to the poster because I don't necessarily think they're wrong, but there's a bigger problem I want to touch on without derailing their post.

The post by @bronze-oakleaf Sorry, but John Flannagan isn't an ableist for describing disabled people as disfigured, Will is. John, although in his usual hit-and-miss style, goes out of his way to show us that the people Will and others are afraid of are not monsters. It's been a while since I read these books, but I can remember there being a few backstories and instances in which it's made clear that Malcolm’s people are just very normal people who have fun, interests and hobbies and love each other deeply.

Will's apprehension of disabled people is very clearly presented as a character flaw. John is a children's author and cannot go into depth about how monstrosity isn't physical but something that manifests in the soul a la Victor Hugo's Hunchback of the Notre Dame. Still, I don't think any child (at least I didn't) finished reading Sorcerer and Siege thinking that disabled people were any less deserving of respect and love than others and Will kinda had a point there in the beginning.

I think the only example of bigotry where there is a high chance of it reflecting John's real-life views is the way he characterises Romani and Sinti in that horrible short story. Without going into depth the key difference here is that not a single person in the story thinks that Alyss and Will are doing or thinking anything wrong. Nuance, even if it wasn't much, visible in Sorcerer and Siege is missing.

Now I have that out of the way, this post is actually about character flaws. I'm not trying to be smug by pulling the historical accuracy card, but honestly, Will's views of disabled people are one of the few ways John established the world of Ranger's Apprentice as a Medieval society. I don't know how to say this without sounding kind of like an asshole, but if you want to critique Ranger's Apprentice flaws you also have to apply the same critique to the characters within Ranger's Apprentice. Separating art from the artists in this case doesn't really work because the art exists within the context the artist created. I don't think we have to be overly critical of characters because otherwise we're bad people and not woke, but viewing your favourite characters as flawed makes them inherently more interesting. I think viewing Will as an enforcer of feudal oppression (cop), extremely privileged (has an education and can bear arms) and classist with a very obvious disdain for those who are below him (this man should be nicer to farmers who can't read) is way more interesting than a perfect boy who fell victim his author's bigoted world view. Will, and all Rangers tbh, think they're better than other people. Rangers are smart they aren't like the uneducated masses who think wizards are real and the devil will claim your soul if you sleep lying down. But are they really?

Will is confronted with the fact he is like everyone else. He's also afraid of the “dreadful caricatures of normal people”, but why? The treatment of disabled people in Medieval society was very complex, and without getting into the nitty gritty, most of the cultural feelings towards them weren't because they were 'just ugly' but relied heavily on superstition. Will might be educated, but he still grew up in a society where disabled people were viewed as cursed, their ailment a deserving divine punishment. Him not being confronted with his hypocrisy in these books is the true moral failing of John to be honest.

Now to my final statement: pleasepleaselpleasepleaseplae let the Ranger's Apprentice characters be bad people. Because they ARE. I guess this post was a very elaborate way of saying Will isn't an UWU soft boy but a grown man with hairy balls. So are Halt, Gilan, Horace, Crowley (I didn't forget the time you enslaved a man king) and Duncan (Truly truly sick a twisted individual for sitting back and doing nothing as his daughter was sold into slavery because 'We need everyone here'. That wasn't a convenient plot point so Halt could save the day but misogyny). This doesn't mean Will isn't/can't be trans (because he is) or Cralt isn't canon (it is) for the sake of historical accuracy. I just want to say that these characters are all very privileged and classist individuals with many flaws thanks to the society they were raised in, which makes them more interesting. Remember be gay AND do crime.

[imperfectskeleton]

Animorphs #4 - The Message 1-3

This is Cassie’s first book, so it’s the book where the war becomes real for her. Jake gets two, and Tobias’s new reality is kind of beyond the whole alien invaders thing. Because she’s Cassie, it’s not quite naivety that she starts the book with. It is a bit, but also, she’s thinking in the context of what they’ve already lost in becoming child soldiers rather than what they’re at risk of losing. She’s seeing the tool of morphing and learning to use it with a different situational awareness to the others, because as much as she wants to protect the Earth she hasn’t really got a handle on what they’re protecting it from.

Her character descriptions are really good:

Rachel has changed in a way that makes sense for someone as organised and driven as she is, and she’s letting out her inner Berenson - her poor mother. (Unrelated, I forgot to mention reading The Visitor that I didn’t remember that Rachel apparently takes after her dad physically (and Jordan takes after her mother. Rip to fanon Jordan who looks just like her sister)) But Rachel studies. She organises. She commits, wholeheartedly, to everything she does. She’s who I want to be when I grow up.

“Jake is very serious, but he also knows when to laugh.” Yeah. Cassie says he seems very serious even before you get to know him, which is interesting. Obviously, she has the bias of being a serious person herself, who Jake wants to impress. And Jake worries what people think of him. He wants his older brother to think he’s cool again, and it causes him a lot of anxiety to not make the basketball team. And the jokes fade out. He can’t be funny, he has to be in charge. Like Rachel, he studies. He puts in effort. He learns what a leader should be, battle strategy, military history. But right now, he’s a serious kid who seems older than he is and does dumb stuff with his idiot best friend who’s smarter than him.

(Jake has a picture of Cassie in overalls shoving a pill down a badger’s throat on his desk. Cassie has offered to go to the trouble of wearing a dress so he can have a nicer photo and he says he likes this one. Good for Jake. Cassie LIKES Jake, but please nobody ever tell him that. Ah, 13 year old love)

And Marco wants none of this, but in his own way, he’s just as protective as Rachel and Jake. Just he’s never been large or impressive, so he protects with his mind. He protects them with his jokes. He ribs the others, makes self-deprecating jokes, until it’s too serious to pretend it isn’t.

Tobias is displaced. Awkward. A little ribbing is good for him, because it’s not pity.

Cassie and Tobias’ Stupid Squirrel Sidequest is truly one for the ages. He nearly eats her and she doesn’t say something until something else tries to eat her. They both make jokes about the way he was going to cook her. Her dad walks in to see his daughter in a leotard with a squirrel tail and goes back to bed (as he should tbh). He presumably is so distracted by the weirdness of his daughter being in the barn in the middle of the night that he forgets that all the animals were going off a minute ago.

Look, first time I read this I didn’t know what Baywatch or mister Roger’s neighbourhood were. I now know what Baywatch is, but that’s all.

[sankttealeaf]

OC DEEP DIVE QUESTIONS

thanks for the tag @adorablebanite <3 tagging @kaleido-scope-lady @quacaserous @beecreeper @theviridianbunny & anyone else who wants to yap about their oc :3

What common/uncommon fear do they have?

Do they have any pet peeves?

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

What do they notice first in a person?

On a scale from 1-10, how high is their pain tolerance?

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

What animal represents them best?

What is a smell they dislike?

Have they broken any bones?

How would a stranger likely describe them?

Are they a night owl, or morning bird?

What’s a flavor they hate and a flavor they love?

Do they have any hobbies?

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprise?

Do they like to wear jewelery?

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

What are the two emotions they feel the most?

Do they have a favourite fabric?

What kind of accent do they have?

handing you the questions here to make life easier, i'll answer for rue under the cut :3

What common/uncommon fear do they have?

fear of being abandoned. (she's just like me frrrr). pre-tadpole rue forms very strong attachments (see: her father. gortash.) and after being left alone many times before in her youth, she really struggles with the idea of being tossed aside

post-tadpole rue has a big fear of forgetting everything again. she's made lovely memories and writes down everything she does in extreme detail in case she ever wakes up without them again

Do they have any pet peeves?

people being too loud. she gets really bad headaches and will yell at people if they are being loud for no reason

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

1. the current book she is reading

2. a warm jumper in case she gets cold

3. her diary

What do they notice first in a person?

their eyes. easy to work out how they're feeling and useful to exploit later on

On a scale from 1-10, how high is their pain tolerance?

10. i like to think there's been many times while travelling that rue has definitely broken an arm and she doesn't realise it until it starts bruising up (and then she reluctantly goes to shadowheart and asks her to fix it)

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

fight. when in doubt, fight your way out! her go to tactic in game is to intimidate others to get what she wants but if that doesnt work? start a fight. physical or verbal, doesnt matter

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

rue doesnt remember her upbringing but she had two foster siblings (both older than her!) she's very much a found family person. has a lot of issues with herself and the thought of being a mother, but happily adopts arabella and yenna (as well as the tiefling children from the grove) along their travels. i like to think yenna visits rue and gale in waterdeep as she gets older.

What animal represents them best?

cat. despite her being dog coded, she is a cat character to me. likes her space, a little nervous, gets the zoomies

What is a smell they dislike?

one of gortash's perfumes. it was thick and rich and had a horrible musky scent to it that kept making her sneeze. so he changes to the nicer, milder vanilla and rosewood :3

Have they broken any bones?

yes. turning into the slayer requires a lot of bones to crack to allow room for growth.

How would a stranger likely describe them?

off-putting. weird. quiet.

Are they a night owl, or morning bird?

night owl!! rue does NOT like mornings. pre tadpole she will sleep in until noon if the world lets her. post tadpole she is a napper. gale comes home from work and finds her napping in the living room with the evening sun on her

What’s a flavor they hate and a flavor they love?

hate: anything overly sour.

love: salty things (adds extra salt to gale's food and he has a heart attack)

Do they have any hobbies?

too many!! post game rue has a lot of hobbies she picks up to keep the Dark Thoughts At Bay. she loves gardening, pottery and embroidery the most!!

their home in waterdeep is covered in things rue has made. hanging up in the living room above the fireplace is a painting of tara rue did that she absolutely hates but gale adores. he frames it and his mother has asked for one as well.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprise?

she cries (of happiness). i like to think the first year after the absolute crisis is over, gale plans a big surprise party and everyone's there. rue comes home from getting groceries, sees all her friends in her home and just bursts into tears.

Do they like to wear jewelery?

yes! she loves earrings (changes the little swords gortash gave her as a gift a few years after his death, but keeps them tucked away as a little reminder of him) now she has little star ones that she adores! (a gift from morena)

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

MESSY!!!!! she's just like me fr!! pre & post tadpole, that girl has such bad handwriting! sometimes she cant read it herself :')

What are the two emotions they feel the most?

love and guilt.

Do they have a favourite fabric?

she loooves a good velvet. warm and fancy and reminds her a bit of gortash

silk, too. again, reminds her of gortash.

What kind of accent do they have?

she's tav 4 in game, so i guess a little posh? i think ive described her voice as "sophisticated" before. soft and gentle spoken which adds to the creepiness of the horrible things she says :)

this was so fun!!! i love yapping about rue. girlie lives in my head rent free :) please help me get her out!!

[fun-k-board]

Hello, it's my first time to send an ask, more recently I finished the school good and evil books, And I fell in love with Hort, but he has literally no content x reader, so you can give hort simps some romantic content?

sorry if this is a bit confusing, english is not my first language 😅.

Of course! Now, I've only watched the movie and read the first book, so apologies if how I characterise him isn't that good or accurate. Also! Your English is really good so dw it wasn't confusing at all!

Pronouns: None

Info: Reader is described specifically in some parts but it fluctuates, ex, if you're very kind, then the next paragraph, if you're rude and abrasive.

General Headcanons

He's not the strongest or most impressive of boys, nevers and evers alike make fun of him for being weak physically and not bring the smartest of the bunch. What he lacks in a lot of things he makes up for in his devotion, despite being a never, he cherishes those he cares for and doesn't dare waver against his undying loyalty. So, if you show him that you're loyal, you understand his boundires and don't push them, he couldn't ask for anything more. Hort just wants someone who loves him for who he is.

Hort is very caring and won't be afraid to help you if you're down or acting strange, in private that is, in public it'd be a string of almost coded phrases and attempts to get you alone so you wouldn't be embarrassed of him calling out your behaviour.

I wouldn't say he's extremely protective, but he's definetly up there, and can become overbearing if you don't sit him down and express your boundaries. Hort wants you safe, and in a school like this? Safety is the last priority of the staff, somebody has to step up to get you safe and it may as well be him.

Appreciates if you at least comfort him or even try to stop the bullying that happens regularly to him, or even the manipulation provided by Sophie. In return his loyalty is tenfold.

He likes matching pyjamas, cute little animal patterns that you wear in each other's company.

Never Headcanons

If you're a never like him, many factors can benefit or dampen the process of knowing him. Especially if you somehow befriend Sophie, the small crush he has on her is just that in this, a small crush. It ends faster than it begins, and he realises your beauty and personality is something Sophie couldn't compete with.

Even if you may be too thin or too big, with scraggly and unwashed hair, pimples and rough skin, that's beauty for him. It gets you far for a never and hey, even if you're insecure, the school for evil and it's inhabitants will grade you good on it. Conventially attractive people are beauty in a different way, in that they're unusual, and a never with those features, as seen by Sophie, is still something he finds pretty.

Now onto your personality, for a never, this could go two ways, maybe you're nicer and shy, or even confident yet respectful, either way, they're traits unlike a never. While this places a target on your back and could cause some tension with teachers and students alike, it places an unfamiliar comfort when it comes to Hort and his love for you.

While he still wishes to be seen as someone capable of bad, and understands he can't always be the one to protect his significant other, he appreciates the kindness you extend to him. Hort hasn't known much kindness, and even a shy glance as you hold your hand out for him to hold, or a confident and outgoing grab as you smile at him, makes a far larger impact that you could ever realise. Especially since you're a never, he can't fathom that someone set out for cruelness and evil could still find it in themselves to love him, it proves to Hort your love couldn't be fake, and any seeds of doubt are dispelled by the adoration you show whether veiled or outright.

If you're harsh and the typical never, he adores your villainy and although he wants to become a villain himself, he can settle for a henchman if its under you, only you however. Hort doesn't mind if you're a little cruel to him, he's completely use to it, there are definetly lines that if you cross he's not staying with you, manipulating his love and devotion is a deal breaker. Especially if everything with Sophie happened before you were together, he doesn't want to go back to being used.

That said, you being 'cruel' is sometimes a plus, it makes you familiar and him relate to you more, which is always great when it comes to a relationship. Being a never doesn't always mean lack of love, your love isn't all cruelty, yelling and hitting, it lacks those at all later on when you or him confess.

Whether you're completely capable as a never or need help, he's always ready to assist if you need it. Struggling with homework? He took some notes! While the handwriting is barely understandable and messy, he will read them for you and even add some things onto your own studies he forgot for his. If you don't at all need nor want help, or even excel in studies compared to him, he's still there for when you somehow miss a lesson or maybe weren't paying full attention on a bad day. Hort even asks for help himself from time to time, while not outright, you can tell from how he's been placing lower these past few days, and you won't allow a fail no matter how cruel of a never you are.

If you were born a guy the chances of you being in the same dorm as him increases, and even if you aren't in the same dorm, you can still visit without eyebrows being raised, you may get put in the doom room if you aren't supposed to be out, however. If you were born a girl, you won't have a chance of dorming with him and will need to be sneakier when visiting each other so people don't think anything weird, and so you don't get put in the doom room.

When it comes to being between, neither girl or boy / both, you won't be treated well in the school for evil. In the handbook, it's explicitly stated that before, and after for the School for Evil, Agatha, both schools were very traditional and separated students based on sex.

Hort would be very lovely to you, helping in any way he could to lessen bullying or separation, and the last statements stay the same based on your biological sex. Which is unfortunate, but you can't exactly break a system with two teenagers, one a guy who has cute pyjamas.

Ever Headcanons

Now for an ever reader, things play out differently. Let's say you are a conventially attractive ever, beauty and grace your defining features, he may think you blend into the crowd. To him, all evers are self absorbed and fake, their kindness isn't unlimited, nor is it true, as when a never is in the room, or just a regular person that may not look the most rich and extravagant, the true colours start shining. That doesn't mean he believes them to be ugly or denies that fact, only in a jealous stupor or when aggrivated by one does that happen.

I can see this going two ways, either you catch his eye despite wearing the same uniform, being attractive and having the same sickly sweet attitude as everybody else, or, you notice him.

If you don't notice him, then perhaps your kindness is what allows you two to meet. Whether befriending the 'evil' Ever, Agatha, and meeting Sophie through her and therefore meeting Hort, who'd already had his beady eyes upon you. You could've defended him from a group of ignorantly loud and aggravating bullies, especially if they're Evers, his once smaller crush turns into respect. While he may not show it completely, and to an outsider he seems creepy with his affections, you understand him. If you don't? You know how Nevers act, they're strange and not like an Ever, so it's hard to judge what you have limited knowledge on. Given your already stated kindness, it's hard to imagine you'd be too judging.

If you're instead a very rude or just unusual Ever, being anti social in a harsh or awkward fashion, then it's your appearance that gets him aware of you fully, he notices you, of course. But, besides a few glances admiring your beauty, or gawking at your lack thereof, Hort doesn't try to know your name nor speak to you. He's busy getting bullied and used by a certain blonde never.

Your meeting is either coincidence or founded by you speaking to him first, if you're cruel, he is shocked at how outward you are. Most Evers are passive aggressive, his interest is piqued, and if you wanted him to leave you alone or you believed him to be weird, the chances of that happening have been lowered to zero.

If you're a shy and awkward type, Hort is drawn in by your cuteness for lack of a better term, how you try to seem confident because you don't want to fail or be bullied, he sees himself in you somewhat. His attempt to know you comes off as rude and overall strange, depending on your reaction, this could speed up the process or slow it. If you continue to try and be nice and respectful, he may just keep up this dance of insults, but if you fight back, Hort realises you aren't exactly the most different after all, and attempts a new approach.

No matter boy or girl, or either, in which case shouldn't be an issue since the school for good seems to be much more progressive, you won't ever share a dorm with him, which sucks, and you'll need to be more sneaky with your dates as to not be made fun of.

[maxdibert]

Hiii! I’m a big fan of you :))

Q: have you ever come across someone telling you that you’re only defending Severus Snape because he’s “hot”??

I was on Youtube, came across a video that the Marauders were bullies, and the comments were filled with people saying:

“James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew were good people + they teased Snape and he teased them back.”

“They were 15 years old and the only person we see them bully is someone who says slurs.”

And “You only like Snivellus because he’s hot.”

There was also someone who said that Sirius was abused. Sirius was never abused, right?? That’s just in ATYD??

Better than that, I’ve been told much nicer things (note the irony) like that I want to suck his dick, that I want to ride his dick, or that I want to fuck him. These are things that, funnily enough, have been said to me by multiple people who later act all super feminist, but ironically, their way of attacking was the average method that any run-of-the-mill misogynist uses to try and make women feel bad.

I mean, I have no problem with this—I’m very open about sex and talk about my fantasies without issue. I don’t think that’s something that should be taboo or a source of shame. But using those things as an insult? Phew, people’s mental issues, honestly.

Anyway, from what you’re saying, these people clearly haven’t read the books, because in the books, it’s explicitly stated that James was the one who started everything on the train when they were 11. And if we have that scene, if Rowling shows us that moment, it’s so that the reader understands that it wasn’t Severus who attacked first—it was James. Because that’s how fucking storytelling works. As a writer, I wouldn’t show you that scene unless I wanted you to understand something specific. It would be absurd. I would’ve shown you more scenes where the attacks were mutual or more proportional. People have absolutely zero literary analysis skills.

And I’m so sorry, but someone saying slurs is not justification for stripping them and choking them in front of a crowd. Like, what are you going to say in court? “Oh yes, Your Honor, I sexually assaulted him because he said slurs.” The judge would just sit there looking like an absolute idiot at that bullshit excuse. Honestly, it’s becoming clearer to me every day that the people using these arguments are just a bunch of kids who haven’t even left their houses yet—because that kind of rhetoric only makes sense if you still live in a high school bubble and have no idea how the world works.

And no, it’s never mentioned that Sirius was abused. XD We know he had a shitty relationship with Walburga, but nowhere does it suggest that she physically abused him—literally not at any point. And I’m so against people who push that stupid headcanon or even insinuate that Walburga sexually abused him (yes, I’ve seen this take, and I think it’s absolute fucking garbage—I’m not even going to comment on it). Like, can people just let characters have terrible relationships with their parents and a toxic relationship with their mother without automatically inserting physical or sexual violence into the mix? Thanks.

[berrypass-de-murdler]

3 - 50 A New Life (and Death) in New Aegis

This... is a season finale?

I mean not much happened this season so I guess it makes sense

For cursed, have some human and feral goat lord

DON'T READ THE EPISODES WITHOUT READING THE BOOKS!!

Logico and Irratino put on one of their most convincing disguises yet - old married couple - and fly peacefully to New Aegis. 

PERSON: Can I get you and your wife anything? IRRATINO: I’M WEARING A BEARD!!

Irratino had already put a downpayment on an AirBNB, so right away, they settle in. And it’s nicer than Logico’s! It has a fold-out couch - spectacular! They bounce on it for a while, then hear a bloodcurdling scream. It’s Editor Ivory!

IVORY: EW EW EW THE MAYOR IS DEAD, WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE DETECTIVES-UHHH?

The two dramatically throw off their disguises, and strike a pose - the heroes are here! 

LOGICO: Good god, Mayor Honey died? 

He isn’t sure how to feel about that.

IVORY: Uh, NO! Just some HUMAN bitch. 

Logico snorts. He had a feeling Honey was faking that bit. He has a dark realization that that was one of the holo-stories. But enough about that.

CRIMSON: HI! LOGICO: Hello… Dr. Crimson. You’re… awfully friendly. CRIMSON: I… have KIND-NESS! Like me, the human woman Dr. Crimson.

He shudders. How is this new ‘nice’ form CREEPIER? And he notices a physical change - she’s now covering her right arm stub. What made her decide to-

GREY: AH-HEM!  LOGICO: Yes, Earl Grey. GREY: LOGICO I’m so happy to see you after my fake death. I know you always love a guy who can fake his death! 

Logico wishes to shatter his porcelain skull, but must deal with the dead mayor.

IVORY: Oh, buy the way guys, something you should probably know… I’m like, your next door neighbor.

Both detectives cringe. 

IVORY: So yeah, don’t be too loud, when you’re doing your private stuff, or whatever…

Logico wishes to shatter another porcelain skull, but still, must deal with the dead mayor. But then he looks back at Irratino. This lovely little apartment in New Aegis, where they can just rest for a while without the everyday stress of Central - it’s like a dream! One little murder isn’t going to ruin that for them.

LOGICO: TINO! What’s your input? IRRATINO: It’s time to pendulumize.

He marches into the mayor’s office with his pendulum, swinging it mystically, resulting in absolutely nothing… His ears twitch and he squints with concentration.

LOGICO: …Well? IRRATINO: Exactly. A drop of tea is in there! LOGICO: In where?? IRRATINO: …The well. LOGICO: You need to stop being so cryptic.

Earl Grey tries to claim that it’s not his tea, but… no. But it doesn’t matter anyway, since he’s not the culprit. Perhaps it was Dr. Crimson, trying to take the name for herself! She stomps with rage, back to her normal self… but her voice still doesn’t sound right.

CRIMSON: Don’t you understand what’s happening? DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND WHY YOU’RE HERE?!!! IRRATINO: Crimson… calm down, it’s okay…

She runs away. Mayor Honey appears!

HONEY: YES!! Now I can finally be the REAL mayor of New Aegis! LOGICO: Good, Central needed a new governor anyway. HONEY: Wait… I’ll have to give up my position as mayor of Central??

Logico double facepalms. Irratino explains basic politics to him.

HONEY: Oh… damn you New Aegis!!

The Oxymorons head back to their little paradise, and snuggle up to watch TV, Logico resembling a baked bean burrito. 

PERSON: Get off the couch, little man.

They look around in confusion.

PERSON: I said GET UP!

Someone breaks through the window!

The end! 

At least it has a cliffhanger!

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[spooky-jordan]

get to know your moots

Been tagged a few times now so here you go :)

What's the origin of your blog title? I think mine speaks for itself hahaha

OTP(s) + Shipname: Mulder and Scully! I am all about the MSR

Favourite colour: All the purples

Favorite game: I'm not much of a gamer, but I did once spend a solid month obsessively playing Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Song stuck in your head: Headlock - Imogen Heap (I blame all the TikTok edits)

Weirdest habit/trait? Sometimes I pretend like my life is a TV show and I'm the main character, to the point that I imagine there are cameras watching me constantly and occasionally "break the fourth wall" by shooting them a look à la Jim Halpert in The Office

Hobbies: Writing, reading, going to concerts, watching TV, watching movies, occasionally cooking, travelling, or otherwise just hanging out with my friends just talking shit and making each other laugh

If you work, what's your profession? Currently working part-time in hospitality but desperately trying to get out

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Writer or else some other kind of creative. I'd love to work in the movie industry but wouldn't even know where to start

Something you're good at: Writing, sometimes. Laughing in the face of existential dread

Something you're bad at: Taking care of my body. Public speaking

Something you love: Stories

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: The joys of sobriety, The X-Files, movies, funny/horrifying stories from my sordid past, feminism, sex and sexuality, what it all means???

Something you hate: Strawberries, the far-right, and being told to do something I was already about to do

Something you collect: Concert wristbands, band merch, Stephen King books

Something you forget: Why I walked into a room?

What's your love language? All of them? I'm very tactile with my friends, so maybe physical touch? Words of affirmation are good, too, since my brain likes to constantly tell me how much everyone hates me

Favorite movie/show: The X-Files (duh)! Favourite movie changes all the time, but In Bruges has a special place in my heart for being the first movie I remember watching that made me realise I LOVED movies

Favorite food: Anything Italian or Korean (but not together lol)

Favorite animal: I love all beasts great and small but especially cats and dogs because you can't cuddle an alligator

What were you like as a child? Tomboy. The "weird" girl. Obsessed with make believe, until hitting puberty and suddenly trying waaaaay too hard to grow up too fast

Favorite subject at school? I hated school and everything about it, but now I'm a mature student studying English Lit, so I guess English?

Least favorite subject? Maths

What's your best character trait? I'm good at empathising with people who are struggling. I have endless compassion for people society looks down on (criminals, addicts, "crazy" people). I have been all of these things. I also think I'm pretty adaptable - I've made it through a lot of things I didn't think I would

What's your worst character trait? I can be selfish. It's a good and a bad thing. Gotta look out for number one, no one else is going to. Sometimes, though, it couldn't hurt me to do more for others. I also should be nicer to my Mum

If you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? My day will be spent catching up with a friend, drinking endless coffee and writing fanfic. There's not a damn thing I'd change about this day

If you could travel in time who would you like to meet? You know I've never really thought about this? I mean... 90's David Duchovny would be a start... although I'm not sure I'd survive that interaction

Recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!): Anyone who knows me know that I'm obsessed with the Iolokus series by RivkaT and MustangSally. If you've not read them, I highly recommend, but tread lightly cause shit gets DARK

Thanks to @cecilysass, @randomfoggytiger and @sagan-starstuff for the tags. I'm sure most people have been tagged already but I'll just tag a bunch of ya'll anyways —

@mulderrrrrrr @spookysexy @slippinmickeys @cowboyslikedean @danascepticscully @thatfragilecapricorn30 @muldersfingers @muldersmeat @danakatscullys @thursdayinspace @invisigoth421 @therealsaintscully

[thedanniannie]

What I think Itachi's Morning Routine Would Look Like...

This is on a weekend, when he's not busting his ass at a day job

Modern AU headcanons (sfw)

He gets to luxuriate a bit today (like me. I'm writing this over a homemade mocha. And yes it's subpar but I'm pretending that it's not...)

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5:30 - Alarm is off and he's shuffling out of bed. His logic, he doesn't want to lose his sleep schedule, even on a day off.

5:40 - He changes into a grubby set of clothes and brushes his teeth almost immediately after getting out of bed.

5:45 - He prepares a quick, small breakfast (just to gain some sustanance before working out) and takes his prescriptions.

6:00 - He stretches and runs. He doesn't usually get to go out much when he's working. Maybe he can fit in some physical activities after work, but not like he can on a Saturday. He can actually enjoy a nice run for once, and while it is still cool outside.

6:45 - Itachi showers and puts on his nicer day clothes. He is normally quick and brisk with his showers during the week. But he finds himself luxuriating a bit. (NOT that he doesn't take good showers normally, Mikoto didn't raise a HEATHEN!)

7:10 - He can finally take the morning a bit slower now. He makes himself a more appropriate breakfast, bringing it to the small table by the window where he likes to eat and read. His book is already there, a bookmark indicating that it's nearing the end of its story. Maybe I can look for another book today, Itachi thought.

7:30 - Itachi finished his book. Unfortunately for him the book store doesn't open until 10, so he decides to waste some time at a café. He makes sure the kitchen is tidy before leaving the house.

8:00 - He arrives at the café with a small laptop in hand. He orders a seasonal latte and finds his spot at a table with an open outlet. Itachi decides to write until the store is open.

(Now I want an Itachi/writer au headcanon/fanfic... lemme cook on it and I'll post one later)

10:00 - Book store. He is happy. Bc the book store is open.

11:00 - Itachi may have gotten carried away with his time at the book store, and is just now arrive back home. He looks down at his phone, eager to answer the work emails that have been piling in while he was out (Mikoto wished Itachi had a better work-life balance. She reasoned with him to just have one day--Saturday--to himself. He could always answer back on Sunday. While it itched at Itachi's work ethic, he obliged to make his mother happy).

He sits back and picks one of the books from the small pile he brought back home.

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This was fun. I'm content. Also the time stamps aren't like, a "set schedule" he has. I think he's just naturally punctual without trying. I also love anytime I get to reference Itachi's love for café-hopping bc that's gawt to be the most darlin' thang about him 💖

[cheerfullycatholic]

Sigh...as much as I'd hate to do it, I think I'm gonna have to start using my kindle more. I don't think kindles are bad, really, I just prefer paper books greatly. But there's a lot of books from small authors I want to read that aren't at the library and I don't want to buy physical copies because I'm trying to limit how many fiction books I own to only the ones I know I really like and want to reread, and they're more expensive. But paper books are just so much nicer...