#but peter will be the real winner

[erinwantstowrite]

Does Peter have a favorite "uncle" in the DC universe?

(clarifying DC cause Uncle Ben would be the obvious choice otherwise lol)

Everyone thinks it's Jason, but they'll still claim that it's them. They have so many debates about it and Peter will never tell them because he does love them equally. He just thinks Jason is the coolest of them and that's what they're mistaking it for

I also have to point out with the fact that Dick has so many friends that are like family to him, they're involved in the debate too

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Souper

[at unicorn fuck club] JRR Tolkien: tonight we've got a special story from everyone's favorite fantasy writer GRR Martin: CS Lewis: Peter S Beagle: Hans Christian Andersen: L Frank Baum: Tolkien: whoops shouldn't have said that ha ha Tolkien: i mean, you're all winners in my book

Tolkien: but when i say everyone's favorite fantasy writer Tolkien: i mean terry practchett GRR Martin: oh yeah that's fair CS Lewis: yeah fair Peter S Beagle: fair Hans Christian Andersen: yes yes of course L Frank Baum: that's fair

Terry Pratchett: hello unicorn fuck club today i've got a story about a wizard who is - get this - actually very bad at his job Tolkien: oh ho ho! terry my boy, you've done it again! Pratchett: there's also girl dwarves Tolkien: [suddenly stone-faced] i hate this

Pratchett: but first Pratchett: all this story telling is hungry work! Pratchett: do you happen to have anything to eat around here? Tolkien: are you talking about... Tolkien: having Tolkien: a Tolkien: feast????? Brian Jacques: [squeaking incomprehensibly in rising excitement]

Tolkien: why, terry, my boy, what an idea! Tolkien: instead of merely DESCRIBING a feast, we'll have one! huzzah! Martin: huzzah! Lewis: huzzah! Jacques: [squeaking] i use a mercury head dime as a serving platter!

Pratchett: no no nothing so fancy as that Tolkien: eh? Pratchett: i was more thinking along the lines of Pratchett: soup Tolkien: soup? Pratchett: yeah just a big bowl of heart soup right about now would just be the best thing Pratchett: oo i just love the sound of it!

Pratchett: think about it: no work... no worries... no failures... no waste... when you serve maggi homestyle soups, the finest money can buy yet priced reasonably within your budget Tolkien: interesting! tell us more Pratchett: maggi soup! es ist echt ausgezeichnet!

Pratchett: how often have you had this problem Pratchett: say, you're on a budget but you have to feed your hungry hungry boys Tolkien: oh man i have been there! Tolkien: more times than i can count!

Tolkien: but terry Tolkien: i need something substantial and nourishing for my hungry boys. can maggi soup satisfy? Pratchett: ahh jirt my friend, maggi soup does more than satisfy! Pratchett: as the good people at maggi say, "kartoffelsalat volkswagen fahrvergnugen lebensraum!!"

Tolkien: What's that sizzling sound I hear? Pratchett: Get up! It's soup and eggs, my dear! Martin: What can I cook without much fuss? Pratchett: maggi soup would tickle all of us! Lewis: What's a lunch that's good and quick? Pratchett: Hot Maggi soup mix does the trick!

Pratchett: mm mmm! i tell you, nothing's as good as a rich bowl of maggi soup! buy some today! eat it with someone you love! Neil Gaiman: something's not right here

Gaiman: of course the power of imagination is infinite, friends Gaiman: but in all the worlds in all the multiverses of possibility, i cannot imagine one in which terry pratchett shills for soup Pratchett: [sweats] nein, nein, ich bin der echte terry pratchett!

Gaiman: if you are in fact, the real terry pratchett Gaiman: and not an imposter Gaiman: like the imposter sandman hector hall in The Sandman, vol. 2: The Doll's House Gaiman: then you won't have any trouble telling a joke Pratchett: [sweats] ein witz? du magst ein witz?

Pratchett: [sweats] i mean ha ha of course i can tell a joke Pratchett: i am the real terry pratchett after all Pratchett: [sweating intensifies] and you all know me, i'm a real spaßvogel Pratchett: Pratchett: a-are you sure you wouldn't all rather just have some soup?

[missberrycake]

So, I know we all love the headcanon that Eddie moved in with Wayne when he was a teen or a pre-teen, be it because one or both parents died, chucked him out, are in prison, etc. But! I’ve been thinking about another option.

What if Wayne has been looking after Eddie since he was a toddler?

It all comes as a bit of a shock to Wayne who, in his early forties, had pretty much assumed he’d missed the boat on the whole ‘kids’ thing. And yet, here he is, taking in his baby nephew when his brother turns up on his doorstep one day.

When it starts, it’s only supposed to be for a short while. His brother’s wife is newly out of the picture (it’s a crying shame, Wayne had liked her, she’d stayed a gentle soul throughout) and he just needs some time to get himself sorted, right? But then a week turns into a month, turns into two months, turns into half a year and Wayne? Well, he gets attached to the kid, so sue him. 

Because little Eddie is a rambunctious boy. He’s full of gummy smiles and bubbling laughter and Wayne runs himself in circles trying to stop him from toddling into sharp corners and sockets and yards of rope. The two of them are well suited, it seems, and Wayne takes to settling Eddie on his knee in the evenings and going through the races for the next day in the paper.

Eddie chooses a winner more than once. 

Every day, when Wayne comes to pick him up from Julia’s two trailers over (he’s still got to work, something his brother hadn’t considered before he left, or maybe he didn’t care), Eddie greets him with his arms out, already chatting away with the handful of phrases that he knows. 

The boy’s hair is soft and his cheeks smooth and if Wayne gets a little sentimental when he tucks him into bed at night, then nobody else needs to know, do they?

He’s a sweet boy. He deserves someone to care for him. 

So when his brother turns up again with vague mutterings about there being some work for him down in Florida, Wayne’s chest aches. 

“What’s your plan for the littl'un?” he asks.

“Ed? Whad’ya mean?”

“I mean, have you got a place to stay lined up? Who’s gonna look after him while you’re working?”

“I’ll figure somethin’ out.”

He shrugs and Wayne feels something close to panic bubbling in his veins. When he suggests that perhaps his brother should travel ahead, get himself settled first before sending for Eddie, he doesn’t expect him to agree so readily. He can’t say he’s much surprised though. 

The entire exchange doesn’t take more than ten minutes and his brother doesn’t ask after Eddie once, doesn’t show any desire to see him, doesn’t even step inside the trailer—not one jot of fatherly affection shines through. 

It only occurs to Wayne that evening that perhaps this was the outcome his brother wanted. But, hell, it’s fine with him—he’ll let him think he’s winning. Wayne knows who’s got the real prize here. 

He doesn’t mention the visit to Eddie, the kid doesn’t need to know, too busy digging holes and collecting bugs. 

Just like he expected, his brother never sends for the boy. They get letters for the first few years, poorly wrapped and ill-thought through trinkets for the kid’s birthday and Christmas, but it’s not long until they fall by the wayside too. 

Once Eddie’s older, they have a conversation about it. Have to, really, when Eddie comes home from preschool and is full to the brim of questions, because apparently Peter Gillespie says that everyone has to have a mom and a dad, “and I know I have a mom because you’ve told me about her and I said that she’s not around and Mrs. Lang told Peter to be quiet but then I thought about it, but I don’t know, ‘cause you’re my dad, right? I know I don’t call you dad, but that’s what you are, isn’t it? Because what else would you be and Peter says I have to have one.”

It floors Wayne for a moment, but he recovers quickly. He leads Eddie to the couch where he sets him on his lap. For the next while the two of them look through all the pictures that Wayne can find of Eddie’s mom and Wayne’s brother. Wayne makes sure to hold him close and tells him it doesn’t matter that he’s ‘just’ his uncle, that he loves him as much as he would a kid of his own, that he’ll always be around to take care of him. And Eddie takes it all in his stride, in the way only children can. 

“So I can’t call you dad?” he asks.

Wayne lets out a long breath, rubs at his jaw. 

“It’s not that you can’t, kiddo, it’s just that I ain’t.“ 

Because it feels a little like stealing. What would happen, if one day his brother came back and found his kid calling Wayne ‘Dad’. If the boot were on the other foot, Wayne would be angry as all heck. And there was still time, wasn’t there? For his brother to see the error of his ways? Who was Wayne to keep all of that from Eddie? 

“Okay,” Eddie says quietly. “Uncle Wayne is still good.”

“Oh, it’s still good, is it?” Wayne crows and squeezes Eddie tight. “I’m sure glad I meet your high standards, your majesty.”

Eddie just giggles at that. He always giggles when Wayne puts on his voices. 

“And what would the esteemed gentleman like for dinner tonight, huh? The options are spaghetti hoops, spaghetti hoops, or - now let me think. Oh! Spaghetti hoops.”

The nail in the coffin comes one day in the summer of 1978, just before Eddie’s twelfth birthday. It’s been over eight years since his brother dropped him off in search of better things and sure, there have been some days where Wayne has been tearing his hair out, but through all of it he knows he made the right decision that day in the doorway of the trailer. He wouldn’t change Eddie for the world, and he knows by now that there are some out there that would, who would only see the difficult or the different in him, but isn’t that what being a parent is? Loving your kid no matter what? Seeing the good in them and helping them see it themselves?

When his brother slams the door shut on some car so shiny that Wayne wonders if it’s fresh out of the packet, he knows they’re in for some trouble. 

“Nice car, man,” Eddie whistles from where he’d been lounging on the plastic chairs out the front of the trailer. Clearly the sight of something so drenched in luxury in their neighbourhood makes it so that he just can’t help himself.

Wayne’s brother grunts in that way that he always did when they were younger, like he’d gotten away with something. 

Wayne just watches, then, as his brother nods at the book in Eddie’s hands. “A reader, are you?” he says, a joke in his voice. “What’s this? Always knew there were brains in the family somewhere.”

“It’s ‘Lord of the Rings’,” Eddie replies, uncertain. His gaze flicks to Wayne, who nods. Funny, that the kid was quiet now, he’d been ranting and raving to Wayne about that goddamn book every spare second of the week. “It’s got orcs and wizards and elves in and stuff.”

“Fairytales?” his brother scoffs. It grates on Wayne like a physical thing. “What you been doing to the boy, Wayne? Here.” He turns back to Eddie. “You know me, kid?”

Eddie shakes his head.

“I’m your old man! So you like cars, do you? Want to go for a spin in her?”

“You don’t have to Eddie. Not if you don’t want,” Wayne pipes up then. He knows his boy well enough that he can see the internal war going on behind his eyes. And, hell, it is a nice car. Eddie bites his lip and stares at Wayne, eyes wide, asking permission.

“‘Course he wants to.” And his brother is already walking back to the driver’s side door. He winks at Eddie. “Gotta lot of catching up to do, ain’t we?”

“Hold this for me?” Eddie asks and hands Wayne his book before jogging away.

There’s a sinking feeling in his stomach when Wayne watches the dust trail behind the car as it leaves the trailer park. He sits out on the porch all afternoon, eyes flashing towards the road every few minutes. It isn’t until almost dusk that it careens into the park once more. 

The passenger door slams violently and Eddie stomps towards him.

“He’s not my dad,” he splutters as he pushes his face against Wayne’s shoulder. Wayne can feel where his cheeks are hot and flushed.

Cradling the back of Eddie’s head with one hand, he mutters gently, “Yeah, son, I know.”

And how had he ever thought that man could be Eddie’s father? No, Eddie may still call him ‘Uncle Wayne’, but they’ve gone well beyond that and both of them know it.

Directing Eddie back inside the trailer, Wayne sends a small nod to his brother where the man is still lingering by his car door, looking faintly murderous. 

Let him try, he thinks. No one’s taking his boy from him now, come hell or high water.

[Yeah, I'm scouring the archives and trying to salvage as many headcanons as I can from my old deleted account, but let's just pretend this is brand new content.]

[turtleblogatlast]

Fun little silly thought I had about the Lair Games and specifically Leo deliberately losing is all the reasons he could have for doing so.

My favorite headcanon for his main motivation is that Splinter wasn’t proud of him anymore.

I imagine that, in the beginning, winning the Lair Games was Leo’s opportunity to shine. He wasn’t artistic or the baby of the family like Mikey, wasn’t a tech genius who created amazing inventions like Donnie, wasn’t the eldest who was insanely strong and dependable like Raph. So he had to shine somewhere else- anywhere else- and what better way to get attention than to be a winner? A champion?

And then he won too much. And it wasn’t special anymore. He got too big headed, too cocky, he knew this was his element and he ran with it.

Splinter’s words of congratulations slowly petered out. Suddenly, there was no real reason to win.

Winning feels empty when the only one cheering you on is yourself.

So- Leo schemed. And he’s a great schemer, fooling his whole family (and Donnie did deserve a win- people were way happier when he won.)

He even gave up his prized possession! His room!

Though he knows his brothers probably think it’s a bad prize. A terrible one, even.

Leo doesn’t sleep much as is, though. So Dad’s snores were more comforting than anything. It was reassuring to hear him so clearly alive and close by.

Even if the distance between them was larger than Leo’d like.

He’d just have to find something else, something more to show his dad that Leo was someone to trust, to be proud of, to love.

He gets his chance soon after, when he needs to pull off a plan against Big Mama at his dad’s side. Leo can only hope this victory is one that has a lasting effect when his father looks at him with pride once more.

Victory, for Leo, is a pretty loaded term.

[hxney-lemcn]

Toeing the Line — Peter Maximoff x gn! reader

summary: reader and Peter have been toeing the line between friendship and dating for a long time now. What happens when they finally give in?

tw: mention of slavery (roman empire era)

a/n: Peter is my og love. I always fall back to him, happily.

wc: 1.4k

Master List

“I’ll give you it for ten bucks,” I negotiated, a devilish smirk resting on my lips. 

“What?” Scott exclaimed.

“You're right,” I nodded, trying to hold in my laughter. “It’s Boardwalk, I want twenty bucks.”

Peter let out a snort, clearly amused with the situation, Jean and Jubilee also laughing under their breaths.

“This is extortion!” Scott shouted, his furrowed brows hidden behind his sunglasses.

“I’m not forcing you,” I laughed. “If you want Boardwalk I gotta get something out of it since you already have Park Place.”

Scott scowled, Jean managing to giggle out, “You’re actually thinking about it?”

“It’s just Monopoly,” Jubilee laughed. “Don’t spend actual money over it.”

With a huff, Scott fished his wallet out of his jeans pocket. My eyes widened, not believing that he was actually gonna give me money. 

“Ten,” Scott said grumpily, and I could feel his glare from behind his glasses. I looked up in fake thought, tapping my chin with my finger.

Shrugging, I handed him Boardwalk and I got my $10. The other’s groaned.

“I don’t see that being allowed in the rules,” Kurt finally piped up.

“Because it’s not,” Jubilee frowned.

“No matter who wins, (n/n)’s the real winner,” Peter laughed, nudging my side. I smiled back at him proudly. Looking over my cards, I knew I was gonna lose sooner or later, so with a quick decision, I shuffled my properties over to Peter.

“I’m putting my faith in you Pete, don’t let me down.”

Putting a hand to his chest, he stared me straight in the eyes with the most serious look, “I’d never dream of it.”

The game continued on until it was down to two. Scott and Peter. At first it seemed neck to neck, but soon the game was just dragging on. The others started chatting, losing interest, yet Scott and Peter seemed to be as competitive as ever. I laid next to Peter, watching with slight disinterest. 

Finally, against all odds, Peter had rendered Scott bankrupt. “Yes!” Peter shouted, startling the others.

“Damn,” Scott moaned. “I spent ten actual dollars!” Jean rolled her eyes with a fond smile. 

“You gonna buy me dinner now?” Peter joked, raising an eyebrow down at me.

“I suppose I should spoil my gladiator with our spoilers of war,” I joked back with a smile. 

“Barf,” Scott fake gagged. 

Peter stuck his tongue out at him, “You’re just salty you lost.” 

Holding his hand out to me, Peter offered to lift me up. I raised an eyebrow in confusion but he only smiled that dorky smile of his. Once I was fully standing, we were suddenly standing in the shadow of a Wendy’s. Thankfully, I was used to his powers, and the usual sick feeling was dull. 

“Isn’t it kinda early for dinner?” I asked with an amused smile.

Peter shrugged, already striding to the front doors, “Lunch, dinner? All the same, as long as my belly’s full.”

I shook my head in amusement, as he held the door open for me. Paying for our orders, our food arrived quickly, although nothing is ever quick enough for Peter. Our relationship was strange. We weren’t exactly friends, but we weren’t exactly dating either. At least we never confessed, but we seemed to have this mutual understanding about each other's feelings. We seemed to dance around the topic, toeing the line and pushing it further and further. Waiting for the line to finally disappear, for one of us to finally make a big enough move where we couldn’t ignore it any longer. 

It was silly honestly. No reason for such a game when we made our feelings so abundantly clear. Honestly, a part of me just wanted to end it, to kiss him silly and spill all my affection for him. Yet another part of me enjoyed the game, enjoyed the thrill of wondering who would break first. 

“If I’m the gladiator then what does that make you?” Peter questioned aloud after taking a sip from his milkshake. 

“Do you want the historical answer or a sappy one?” I asked with a cheeky smile.

“Hmmm…” Peter pondered. “Give me the historical first, and then the sappy.”

I laughed a little, “Well historically, gladiators were typically slaves so…” I cringed. “I’d be classified as your owner. Which I don’t like the thought of.”

Peter blinked, before a devilish smirk rose onto his lips, “Kinky.” I shoved a french fry into his face, trying to ignore the warmth underneath my skin. Taking a bite of the fry from my hand, he continued, “If that’s the historical one, what could possibly be the sappy reply?”

I looked off the side, eating another fry as I tried to ignore the bubbling warmth simmering within me, “Uhhh, I don’t know,” I shrugged, trying to be nonchalant. “You’re monarch?”

“One, I don’t think that counts as sappy, more flirty,” Peter counted. “Two, if you’re gonna say somethin’ like that, you gotta do it with confidence, babe.” 

My heart spiked at not only the pet name, but how he said it so nonchalantly. Said it like he knew it was meant for me and had accepted the fact. I rolled my eyes, trying to pretend like he didn’t affect me as much as he did and ate the food in front of me. My skin continued to prickle with warmth as I felt his gaze on me. Glancing up, our eyes met, and I covered my mouth as I chewed.

Once I swallowed, I asked, “What?”

“What?” Peter asked innocently. “Can’t I enjoy the view?” 

I nearly choked on my soda at his reply. Yeah we flirted here and there, but never this much or this heavily. Peter had obviously finished his food already, and I noticed how my fries seemed to shrink. 

“Trying to butter me up Maximoff?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. 

“Just stating the truth,” He shrugged. I rolled my eyes, finishing up the last of my food. “My place or yours?” Peter asked as we headed out.

“Doesn’t matter to me,” I shrugged. “Surprise me.”

Within a second, the colorful room of Peter Maximoff surrounded me. Band posters littered the walls as some dirty clothes laid on the floor. Clothes which vanished from sight once Peter noticed. I watched as he roamed through his cassettes. His silver hair was messy, as usual. His silver jacket and goggles were left on a chair and desk. Which meant he was left in his band tee and black skinny jeans (he wore different jeans after I told him his silver pants needed a break from time to time). 

I smiled as Peter turned around, Queen was playing from the track player. Dramatically, Peter fell onto me, surprisingly gently. 

I let out a dramatic groan, “You're heavy.”

Peter pouted, “Is that any way to speak to your boyfriend?” My eyes widened and I tensed up, I felt Peter tense up as well as he began rambling, trying to pull himself away, “I…uh…sorry. I didn’t…I wasn’t thinking-”

With a pounding heart, I wrapped my arms around his neck, locking him in place above me. Before he could continue rambling, saying something he may actually regret, I pulled him down by the neck, pausing just before our lips could meet.

“C-can I-”

Not letting me finish, Peter closed the gap, our lips meeting in a soft, curious kiss. My eyes closed in bliss as we both became more confident. One of his hands hesitantly moved to my waist, his thumb massaging the skin under my shirt. I panted as we pulled away, Peter’s dark brown eyes held so much affection, causing me to melt. 

“I hope this isn’t too early, but I think I’m in love with you,” Peter whispered out.

I couldn't contain the smile that broke out on my face at his confession, “Well, I know I love you, my boyfriend.”

A cheesy smile broke out on his face too, “I like it when you call me that.”

“Call you what?” I asked, playing with the silver hair at the nape of his neck.

“Yours,” He replied without a beat, leaning down into another kiss. 

“That was so cheesy!” I laughed, slapping his chest, pushing him onto the bed.

“And you love it,” He replied confidently, pulling into me onto his chest.

He was right, I did love it.

[illustrationist-of-the-stars]

I hope this isnt annoying but Saint Peter meeting Sir pentious in heaven??

Not at all, Anon. Hope this deems satisfactory for you ^_^!!

Not really Sinner!Adam centric again but it's still technically him? (Alex Brightman-core fr)

Did I leave it on an open-ended ending because I didn't know what Sir Pentious's real name is? Yes. Do I regret it? Partly-no.

I do think that Peter can't remember all the names of the winner's he let's into Heaven but he probably can memorise faces pretty well. I do hope his characterisation isn't too out of character here, considering he had way too short screen time for me to really get a good grasp on his personality so this the best I got...

[companion-showdown]

Anniversary Tournament

Last year for Doctor Who's anniversary I ran a tournament between Doctor Who stories, and I wanted to so something different again this year. A tournament between real people important to the history of Doctor Who, actors, writers, producers, directors, composers, production designers. Technically it'll be a tournament for the most infuential person to Doctor Who and its development over the years, but really I want it to be a celebration of all of these people, and not just the winner.

To that end, the nomination form, you can also submit nominations normally, ie sending me an ask or replying to this post, however I won't be accepting propaganda through those methods.

I'm thinking I'll close nominations on the 18th of November, that might change but probably not by much

Current Nominations:

if green then at least one person has submitted propaganda for them

Actors

Billie Piper

Carole Ann Ford

Christopher Eccleston

Colin Baker

David Graham and Peter Hawkins

David Tennant

Freema Agyeman

India Fisher

Jacqueline Hill

Jodie Whittaker

John Simm

Jon Pertwee

Lisa Bowerman

Liz Sladen

Matt Smith

Ncuti Gatwa

Nicholas Courtney

Pat Gorman

Patrick Troughton

Paul McGann

Peter Capaldi

Peter Davison

Rodger Delgado

Sophie Aldred

Stuart Fell

Sylvester McCoy

Tom Baker

William Hartnell

William Russell

Composer

Delia Derbyshire

Dudley Simpson

Murray Gold

Paddy Kingsland

Peter Howell

Rob Harvey

Ron Grainer

Segun Akinola

The BBC Radiophonic Workshop

Designers

June Hudson

Peter Brachacki

Raymond Cusic

Directors

Christopher Barry

Graeme Harper

Paddy Russell

Rachel Talalay

Richard Martin

Waris Hussein

Fandom

Marnal Gate

TARDIS wiki creator

The Audience

Craig Ferguson

Producers

Barry Letts

Graham Williams

John Nathan Turner

Philip Hinchcliffe

Verity Lambert

Writers (including script editors and showrunners)

Alan Moore

Anthony Coburn

Chris Chibnall

David Whittaker

Donald Wilson

Douglas Adams

Eric Saward

Gerry Davis

Grant Morrison

John Lucarotti

Johnathan Blum

Justine Richards

Kate Orman

Kit Pedler

Lance Parkin

Lawrence Miles

Marc Platt

Paul Cornell

Robert Holmes

Robert Shearman

Rona Munro

Russell T Davies

Steven Moffatt

Terrance Dicks

Terry Nation

Other/impossible to categorise

all the thousands of people who've worked behind the scenes

Michael Grade (BBC higherup who hated doctor who so so much)

Peter Cregeen (actually cancelled Doctor Who)

Sydney Newman

Nicholas Briggs

Gary Russell

John F Kennedy

Sue from Catering

The real historical figures who've appeared in the show

Shakespeare

[starsmacabray]

in honour of the found heaven tour, here are MARAUDERS ERA CHARACTERS AS CONAN GRAY SONGS

sirius - family line

all of my pain and all your excuses, i was a kid but i wasn’t clueless (LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING - winner is the honorary mention)

regulus - the exit

feels like we had matching wounds but mine’s still black and bruised and yours is perfectly fine (this is him and sirius you can’t convince me otherwise)

marlene - found heaven

don’t be scared, little child, of that feeling- you’re in love (mar with a toxic christian upbringing and internalized homophobia MY BABY)

james - yours

what the fuck did i do in the end, just to not be yours? (*crying, screaming, throwing up*)

evan - wish you were sober

save me til the party is over, real sweet but i wish you were sober (him to barty UGH)

mary - jigsaw

i’ve changed every part of me until the puzzle pieces aren’t me at all (LIKE- tell me i’m wrong and grab tissues on the way)

remus - fight or flight

i’d rather die than have to cry in front of you (moony who never shares his feelings i could sob)

lily - little league

when we were younger, we didn’t know how it would be. we were the young, the wild, the free (dare i say a young lily with petunia)

peter - people watching

i end up all alone but i still keep hoping (crying for him honestly, like this oddly breaks my heart as a peter hater)

[stuckysimp]

I'm like 8 years too late, but oh well - I've had this Captain America Civil War rant stuck in my head for a while and I need to get it out after re-watching it. (This is gonna be long af, but bear with me).

I feel like a lot of people missed the actual point and plot of the movie (and the marketing definitely didn't help). The whole "team cap vs team iron man" stuff becomes irrelevant after like the first 20 minutes of the movie. But of course, it's still quite a big part of the movie and I'd like to take a moment to explore what I think, the different character motivations are around why they signed or didn't (or would / wouldn't).

The only reason Tony "I successfully privatised world peace" Stark signed the accords in the first place anyway is because of his massive survivors guilt complex which we see triggered by the woman who approaches him at the end of his speech to the MIT students. Like this man does not give a single shit about the government, and much like Steve Rogers, he just wants to keep people safe. Unlike Steve, however, he doesn't trust himself to do so and thinks of himself needing the be kept in check, for someone else to take the blame (though he'd probably internalise it anyway, let's be real).

Rhodey has always kind of been more on the side of the government, even if that meant going against Tony - think Iron Patriot - so it makes sense that he'd want to sign. He understands that a group as powerful and dangerous as the Avengers needs to be kept in check, but what he doesn't understand are the risks around that. In a perfect world, it would be fine, but unfortunately government systems are stupid and corrupt.

Peter was only really in the fight in the first place because he was a child blindly following this big celebrity guy he idolised. He didn't know enough about the situation to properly analyse it, just being fed and believing whatever Tony told him (and he had no reason to go against him, so why would he? This was his shot, he's been chosen by THE Tony Stark to help). "Mr Stark said you'd say that" "he said you're wrong, you think you're right, that makes you dangerous." I 100% believe that if Peter had read the accords, that he would have been on Steve's side anyway.

Vision is an embodiment of 'good' and 'peace' - essentially everything that Ultron was supposed to be, but wasn't. He has no reason to be against the accords if it will keep people safe and he makes the point during their conversation of "our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict ... breeds catastrophe. Oversight ... oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand." It's also very much the beginning kind of puppy love between him and Wanda in this movie, meaning that he will want to protect her. No matter what. Even if it means "locking her in her room."

Nat was seriously one of the only people in this movie with a brain cell lol. I firmly believe that if the accords had been properly put in place, she would have followed them until she no longer thought the government's instructions were 'right' and would have gone against them anyway. Her main goal in this movie was trying to keep the Avengers, her family, together and ultimately do the 'right' thing.

T'challa didn't give one shit about the accords lmao, he's damn king. No, he was only there in the first place to take revenge on his father's death (which at the point of the airport fight scene he still thought it was Bucky's fault. He later discovers, after following Steve and Bucky to Siberia, that it's Zemo's, and locks him up).

Steve's concerns with the accords are valid, and honestly I wouldn't have signed them either. To be told "sign, retire, or get locked up" isn't really a big winner for me lol. And the thing is, Steve's done this. He fought in WW2, he got paraded around like some big hero while men died, and he did nothing. It wasn't until he went against orders, that he actually did something helpful (saved the captured 107th division in Azzano). So, no, he's not going to be side-lined when people out there need help. That's just not who he is.

Bucky had no part in the accords, and as soon as he got introduced into the movie, that plot point became irrelevant. He was framed by Zemo, and then used to rip the avengers apart. The accords was just another log to add to the fire at that point. He followed Steve because "till the end of the line" and all that. He literally, heartbreakingly, says "I don't know if I'm worth all this," but he follows anyway.

Scott, much like Peter, is kinda just happy to be there. He's following CAPTAIN FREAKING AMERICA into battle without hesitation. But like, let's be honest, given his whole movie and character, I very much doubt Scott would be on Tony's side if he had read the accords.

Clint got dragged out of freaking retirement for this shit, and he didn't actually get involved until after Team Cap already knew about Zemo. That's why he's there. Not because of the accords, but to help Steve get to the Quinjet to get to Siberia and stop Zemo before he can go through with his assumed plan to wake up the five super soldiers who'd been stashed there. (Of course, this isn't actually Zemo's plan, but we'll get back to that later).

Wanda is going through some serious self loathing during this movie, and the incident in Lagos doesn't help. Like at all. Ma girl just wants to live her life and be left alone at this point and she's getting all of these horrible things thrown into her face by Secretary Ross. She doesn't want to be controlled, she doesn't want to be a weapon, she wants to be free. "You locked me in my room." - Girl already probably hates Tony Stark due to her family being killed by one of his bombs and Ultron, so she's mad anyway.

Sam is on Steve's side from the start. With the accords, to fight Zemo, all of it. During the 'discussion' between him and Rhodey, he says "So let's say we agree to this thing. How long is it gonna be before they LoJack us like a bunch of common criminals?" He doesn't trust Secretary Ross, and is clearly hesitant to add his signature to the accords. (not that I blame him).

The main actual villain and 'plot' of the movie after the first part with the accords, was the whole thing with Zemo wanting to tear the Avengers apart to get revenge for his family dying in Sokovia. He takes advantage of the accords, and of Bucky / The Winter Soldier to do this but it's not really discussed which annoys me. It's a MAJOR part of the film, yet all I ever really see being discussed are the accords affecting the decisions of characters throughout the film with no consideration of the wider picture.

From when the UN meeting is blown up, the Avengers are being manipulated by Zemo working in the background throughout the film. He frames Bucky for murder, and Steve - who has been looking for Bucky for the past 2 years - goes after him like ‘tf man’. Bucky gets taken in and Zemo uses the opportunity to activate the Winter Soldier programming, learn about Hydra’s super soldier program, and of course - “Mission report. December 16, 1991.”

This leads to Bucky’s escape and attack, Steve and co going on the run, and eventually the airport fight. The meaning of this scene gets lost, I feel, when people relate it back to the accords because it’s not about that anymore. Not really, not for anyone. Especially not for Steve, or even for Tony.

Tony at this point, most definitely feels like his world is being torn apart. He’s losing control, he’s spiralling, and Steve just isn’t listening. He’s blinded by his anger to the bigger picture and he just wants to get a handle on the situation to deal with it further.

Steve’s forgotten all about the accords, his priority is keeping Bucky safe and stopping Zemo. He tries to tell Tony, tries to talk to him, but Tony isn’t listening either. I mean their whole interaction just before the fight shows this:

(the dialogue below has been condensed to show the key lines - basically I got rid of other characters talking irrelevantly)

-

Steve Rogers: Hear me out, Tony. That doctor, the psychiatrist, he's behind all of this.

Tony Stark: Anyway, Ross gave me 36 hours to bring you in. That was 24 hours ago. Can you help a brother out?

Steve Rogers: You're after the wrong guy.

Tony Stark: Your judgment is askew. Your old war buddy killed innocent people yesterday.

Steve Rogers: And there are five more super soldiers just like him. I can't let the doctor find them first, Tony. I can't.

- later -

Tony Stark: And you've been a complete idiot. Dragging in Clint. 'Rescuing' Wanda from a place she doesn't even want to leave, a safe place. I'm trying to keep . . . I'm trying to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart.

Steve Rogers: You did that when you signed.

Tony Stark: Alright, We're done. You're gonna turn Barnes over, you're gonna come with us. NOW! Because it's us! Or a squad of J-SOC guys . . . with no compunction about being impolite. [Steve looks aside.] Come on.

-

Not to mention that Tony, after learning that Zemo impersonated and killed the actual doctor dude that was supposed to see Bucky whilst he was in confinement, he DISOBEYED the accords and Secretary Ross to go and help Steve stop what they thought at the time was the reactivation of the five super soldiers who'd been left in cryo freeze.

He follows Steve and Bucky to Siberia to help them, not to fight them. That only changes because of Zemo showing the footage of Bucky, WHILE UNDER BASICALLY MIND CONTROL, killing Tony’s parents.

In this scene, Tony 100% has every right to be angry. Unfortunately, he’s the kind of person who cannot see past his anger. He gets in his head, he spirals, and he tries to kill Bucky based on blind rage. (IT WASN’T BUCKY’S FAULT DAMMIT).

And yes, Steve was 100% in the wrong for not telling Tony. This whole scene could have been very easily avoided if Steve had just pulled Tony aside and had the difficult conversation about his parents death. Tony deserved to know, and Steve was only sparing himself pain by doing it. Dick move Steve, 0/10.

The fight between the three allows Zemo, having successfully completed his plan of eliminating the super soldiers and tearing the avengers apart, to slip away. With his work done, he tries to end his own life, but T’challa stops him and arrests him instead.

Steve and Tony’s fight was unnecessary, dramatic, and heart-breaking, and I’m very glad they managed to make up later, but ye. I think, at the end of the day, they’re all just dramatic idiots with communication issues lol.

-

Thank you for reading my long ass essay lmao, apparently I have a lot of feelings about this movie 😂

[bouncyballcitadel]

"Chance Encounter" - A Short Snippet

For raffle winner @riseandshine-pudgey. Vic and Dr. Sloan end up in the same restaurant.

You are not a social person.

You hate parties, you hate crowds. If it were up to you, you'd stay at home - try out new pasta recipes, drink a glass of wine. Small talk is your anathema. Running into coworkers outside of the hospital - the bane of your existence.

Precisely why you eat at Christine's on Mondays. Christine's is already a hole-in-the-wall, which is to your advantage. And, let's be honest - no one goes out to eat on a Monday. This ends up being a perfect combination for you, your very own date night: a tiny pocket of time that's wholly your own.

Just you, a glass of red, and a plate of truffle gnocchi.

Bliss.

...Except today.

Because today, just before you're about to spear your first gnocchi, the bell above the door jingles. And in she walks - none other than Dr. Ivy Sloan.

You're pretty sure Dr. Sloan doesn't think about you. And you don't think about her either. Ever since the...spat you got into your first year, the two of you have stayed in separate orbits. You weren't going to change for her, and she had given up on changing you. You were never going to be the warm and fuzzy type, the type to pull up a chair, to hold someone's hand. You weren't a heartless bastard - you just...didn't believe in adornments.

Competence. Skill. Drive.

Those are the skills you've cultivated during your training. And...fine, you've smoothed out some of your rougher edges too, if only to appease the powers that be.

As you watch Dr. Sloan take a seat at the other end of the room, you fight the urge to shift in your seat. You know she'll see you eventually - you're not exactly short - but you want to delay the moment as much as possible. Once she sees you, once the two of you mutually acknowledge each other's existence, any sense of privacy on your end will be lost. You know, inevitably, that you'll feel perceived. That your chances of enjoying your truffle gnocchi and your glass of red wine at ease will infinitely diminish.

If only it were anyone else. If it were Jay, for example - he'd probably sit with you, but you could tolerate that. Or, if it were Dr. Saxon - the two of you could just ignore each other. But, because it's her - because of what she means to Peter, you can't just put her aside.

It's no secret that Peter and Dr. Sloan are close friends. And, you're sure there's a side to Dr. Sloan that you're not privy to. But if Peter trusts her, confides in her, shows his true self to her - and she can't stand you, then what does that say about your and Peter's relationship?

People tend to surround themselves with similar people. It's no shock to you that throughout your life, you've called more than one Kyle your friend. But you and Dr. Sloan are complete opposites. And, you like to think that you're more than just another resident to Peter.

But, who's to say? Maybe the rumors are overstated, of you being Peter's "favorite." Maybe the way he treats you, spends time with you, believes in you - it's all in the name of mentorship. Maybe the glimpses you think are the real Peter aren't glimpses at all.

You drink from your glass - a larger mouthful than you bargained for - and immediately almost aspirate. You manage to swallow the wine, the smallest of mercies, but you know already when you look back that Dr. Sloan's gaze will have turned on you.

Your eyes meet and before you can strategize what the best next move would be, she inclines her head in the smallest of nods.

Amanda brings her a glass of wine - so she's a fan of reds, too.

You nod back. And she turns her gaze back to her menu.

[onepiece-polls]

OPLA fan cast polls - Top 10 winners!

By far most of the submitted fancasts were accepted by the fans, having had a minimum of 50% yay votes. But which fancasts had the most fans behind them? Here is the top 10!

10. Karen Fukuhara as Tashigi with 82.4% of the votes.

Her experience with martial arts and sword fighting might have convinced the fans who weren't familiar with her previous roles yet!

9. Rhey Ripley as Charlotte Smoothie with 82.5% of the votes.

Her wrestler build probably convinced a lot of people she could pull this off. And maybe the lesbians went wild about her.

8. Peter Capaldi as Dr Hiriluk with 84% of the votes.

Once a doctor... (also, he just kinda looks like him)

7. Alexander Siddig as Nefertari Cobra with 84.5% of the votes.

This Sudanese actor convinced the fans that he could play another desert kingdom ruler!

6. Amber Midthunder as Laki with 85% of the votes.

With only 1 vote really against her (we will find you and hunt you down 😛), the fans think this native American actress is perfect to play Laki!

5. Jamie Lee Curtis as Kureha with 87% of the votes.

With by far the most submissions, I had expected her to come out on top, but 5th place isn't bad at all either! Besides, she has practically been cast already, and the fans seem to agree! If someone else gets cast after all, there'd better be a real good reason for that!

4. Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson as Brogy with 88.1% of the votes.

This tall strongman from Iceland seemed the perfect fit for the friendly giant!

3. Kevin Chamberlin as Tom with 89.1% of the votes.

Tom's a fishman, Kevin is human. And yet, look at their faces: the same. The fans could do nothing but agree with this fan cast (though they would also love him as Wapol).

2. Michael Jai White as Ohm with 89.8% of the votes.

Corporate needs you to find the differences between these two pictures.

The fans: "They're the same picture."

No one voted against this fan cast, so in that aspect you could say he should be the winner! However, a few more people needed to be convinced, compared to the number one...

And the winner...

1. Javicia Leslie as Miss Doublefinger with 92.9% of the votes!

Her looks, her acting experience (as Batwoman for example), and her experience with different (combat) sports have convinced almost all of the fans that she is a perfect fit! We are looking forward to see Javicia as Miss Doublefinger in the next season (?) of the One Piece Live Action!

Thank you all for submitting your fancasts and for voting on these polls! ❤

[wolfstaridiot08]

Feel like this needs to be done, so ALL of Conan Gray songs as marauders and co relationships (includes girls, and Slytherin Skittles, and black sisters)

Killing me - Remus to Sirius (the prank)

Lonely Dancers - Mary and Marlene (hear me out, they are dating Sirius and Remus and Sirius and Remus are clearly hitting it off in the corner drunk so they both sit there sipping their drink, and catch each other's eye and it's like "well, might as well" no real feelings but a nice one night thing)

Alley Rose - jegulus (Regulus worried James will lose him and then actually losing him)

Winner - Sirius to Walburga

Never Ending Song - A Potter and Pureblood Slytherin (Jegulus, Drarry, Scorbus)

Memories - 3rd book Remus to Sirius 

The Exit - Regulus to Sirius (imagine everytime the lyrics say girl, it's James)

Movies - Regulus to Barty (the ex is Evan)

People Watching - Peter (couple in beginning is Jily)

Disaster - Wolfstar

Best Friend - Platonic moonflower (it sounds like prongsfoot, but if you really listen closely it's not)

Astronomy - Nobleflower (it may sound like a Jegulus song but they have one like "socially speaking we were the same, with run away fathers and mothers who drank" that makes it Nobleflower not Jegulus, they're really similar if you think about it)

Yours - James before Lily noticed him

Jigsaw - Bellatrix to everyone (Rita, Voldemort, Her parents, etc;)

Family Line - Andromeda

Summer Child - James

Footnote - Unrequited Marylene

Telepath - Rosekiller

Overdrive - Pandalily

Heather - Regulus to James (Heather is Lily)

Maniac - Quillkiller

The Story - Sirius to Harry (boy and girl is Jily, boy and boy is Wolfstar, me and my friend, Regulus and Sirius) 

Wish You Were Sober - Marylily 

Comfort Crowd - Platonic moonwater

Online Love - Remus and Grant

Checkmate - Mary to Sirius

The Cut That Always Bleeds - Evan to Barty 

Flight or Fight - Sirius arriving after Azkaban to realize Remus has moved on with Grant (this was really hard)

Affluenza - Evan (just listen it's him)

(Can We Be Friends?) - Sirius and James meeting each other for the first time

Little League - The Marauders and co graduating Hogwarts and joining the war (I imagine it's mainly James, Regulus or Remus who are singing) (also the lyric "where did all my friends go" just screams marauders)

The King - Remus to Sirius 

The Other Side - Tedromeda (other side is away from the Black family)

Idle Town - The peace of Gryffindor tower

Generation Why - Platonic moonwater (They would totally run away and just do shit or cause trouble) (obviously not millennials but they didn't even exist at that point so 🤷‍♀️)

Crush Culture - Peter (my aroace boy) 

Greek God - Mary (Gossip Queen and Casanova of Gryffindor tower)

Lookalike - Sorry for this but Regulus to Sirius about James (other options; Regulus to James about Lily, Sirius to Remus about Grant, Pandora to Lily about Mary, or Lily to Pandora about Xeno)

Grow - The black brothers making it out of the family ("we made it out, it seems, I made it out, it seems") 

Fake - James and Lily to Snape (when they say breakup it would be about a friendship breakup)

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: The First Omen

Arkasha Stevenson: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the first omen Stevenson: things about to get real catholic here William Peter Blatty: yes.. ha ha YES!! Stevenson: and even more italian Lovecraft: Lovecraft: oh uh i don't like that

Stevenson: it's about a moribund religious institution forcing a woman to carry a baby against her will set against the political violence of the years of lead Alex Garland: why you hafta get all political Garland: why can't people just make nice films anymore

Stevenson: see the thing about my film is Stevenson: it engages with the moment Garland: oh but i prefer a film that doesn't engage with the moment Garland: hey has anyone here seen adam sandler's you don't mess with the zohan? what a tour de force!! [chef's kiss]

Stevenson: so this american woman goes to rome to become a nun Stevenson: but what she doesn't realize Stevenson: is how incredibly italian everything will be Stevenson: and also its the 70s, which is statistically speaking, the MOST italian time period

Stevenson: like things are SO italian Lovecraft: [sweats] they can't be THAT italian, right? i mean, it's just Lovecraft: just a little bit italian right?? Lovecraft: right???  Stevenson: it's smoking nuns level italian Lovecraft: [sweating intensifies]

Stevenson: but even better, so catholic William Peter Blatty: yes, yes, i like it! Stevenson: there's gonna be this one irish priest- Blatty: that's me Blatty: that guy is me Stevenson: and his accent is SO thick Blatty: that's my OC now

Stevenson: you know what the omen really needed, though? Stevenson: hot hot devil sex Barker: that is true Barker: the omen DID have a severe lack of devil sex Barker: i noticed that when i watched it, kind of a glaring oversight actually

Stevenson: well, don't worry Stevenson: we rectify that in this version Stevenson: we're gonna flash the devil's dick Blatty: whoa you can't flash the devil's dick! Barker: yeah, that's right, you really need to linger Barker: we all want a good look at that

Barker: like, how are we supposed to see anything when you flash it so fast? Frank Belknap Long: oh it's nothing special, it's just a bad dragon model 57a Willowtongue ® the Ent, 2017 Alt-Porn award winner Barker:

Stevenson: now we are retconning a few things about the omen Stevenson: for example, this time damien has a mom Stevenson: instead of being birthed by a dog Barker: oh but that was dean's favorite part Dean Koontz: i wish my mom was a dog :( Barker: kid just really loves dogs

[aurumacadicus]

October's coming and the theme is horror! Tumblr will vote to help us narrow it down to three books, and then we'll vote for the winner on Discord. If you'd like to join the book club, send me a message, and I'll send you an invitation link! Book summaries are under the cut!

Family Business by Jonathan Sims JUST ANOTHER DEAD-END JOB. DEATH. IT’S A DIRTY BUSINESS. When Diya Burman’s best friend Angie dies, it feels like her own life is falling apart. Wanting a fresh start, she joins Slough & Sons - a family firm that cleans up after the recently deceased. Old love letters. Porcelain dolls. Broken trinkets. Clearing away the remnants of other people’s lives, Diya begins to see things. Horrible things. Things that get harder and harder to write off as merely her grieving imagination. All is not as it seems with the Slough family. Why won’t they speak about their own recent loss? And who is the strange man that keeps turning up at their jobs? If Diya’s not careful, she might just end up getting buried under the family tree…

The Final Girl Support Group by Grady Hendrix In horror movies, the final girls are the ones left standing when the credits roll. They made it through the worst night of their lives…but what happens after? Lynnette Tarkington is a real-life final girl who survived a massacre. For more than a decade, she's been meeting with five other final girls and their therapist in a support group for those who survived the unthinkable, working to put their lives back together. Then one woman misses a meeting, and their worst fears are realized—someone knows about the group and is determined to rip their lives apart again, piece by piece. But the thing about final girls is that no matter how bad the odds, how dark the night, how sharp the knife, they will never, ever give up.

Meddling Kids by Edgar Cantero In 1977, four teenagers and a dog—Andy (the tomboy), Nate (the nerd), Kerri (the bookworm), Peter (the jock), and Tim (the Weimaraner)—solved the mystery of Sleep Lake. The trail of an amphibian monster terrorizing the quiet town of Blyton Hills leads the gang to spend a night in Deboën Mansion and apprehend a familiar culprit: a bitter old man in a mask. Now, in 1990, the twenty-something former teen detectives are lost souls. Plagued by night terrors and Peter’s tragic death, the three survivors have been running from their demons. When the man they apprehended all those years ago makes parole, Andy tracks him down to confirm what she’s always known—they got the wrong guy. Now she’ll need to get the gang back together and return to Blyton Hills to find out what really happened in 1977, and this time, she’s sure they’re not looking for another man in a mask.

Bury Your Gays by Chuck Tingle Misha knows that chasing success in Hollywood can be hell. But finally, after years of trying to make it, his big moment is here: an Oscar nomination. And the executives at the studio for his long-running streaming serioes know just the thing to kick his career to the next level: kill off the gay characters, “for the algorithm,” in the upcoming season finale. Misha refuses, but he soon realizes that he’s just put a target on his back. And what’s worse, monsters from his horror movie days are stalking him and his friends through the hills above Los Angeles. Haunted by his past, Misha must risk his entire future—before the horrors from the silver screen find a way to bury him for good.

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

Stepping far afield from his medical studies, Victor Frankenstein brings to life a human form he has fashioned from scavenged body parts. Horrified by his achievement, he turns his back on his creation, only to learn the danger of such neglect. Written when Mary Shelley was only 20 years old, Frankenstein has been hailed as both a landmark of Gothic horror fiction and the first modern science fiction story.

The Sacrifice Box by Martin Stewart

In the summer of 1982, five friends discover an ancient stone box hidden deep in the woods. They seal inside of it treasured objects from their childhood, and they make a vow: Never come to the box alone. Never open it after dark. Never take back your sacrifice. Four years later, a series of strange and terrifying events begin to unfold: mirrors inexplicably shattering, inanimate beings coming to life, otherworldly crows thirsting for blood. Someone broke the rules of the box, and now everyone has to pay. But how much are they willing to sacrifice?

A Lonely Broadcast by Kel Byron

If you find yourself driving down a winding mountain road near an endless stretch of pines, try tuning in to 104.6 FM: the radio station that shouldn’t exist. The village of Pinehaven has a secret of monstrous proportions. Evelyn McKinnon, a radio host falling on hard times, finds herself utterly unprepared when she learns that the radio station isn’t just for entertainment. It’s a watchtower. She’s stalked by a bird with human eyes. Her co-host won’t stop singing show tunes. And when the fog rolls in, the beasts of Pinehaven Forest begin their brutal hunt. Evelyn and her friends are suddenly face-to-face with something much scarier than ravenous flesh-giants and vengeful spirits: responsibility. ‘A Lonely Broadcast�� is a darkly comedic tale that mixes elements of cosmic horror, gruesome gore, and a touching story about friendship, grief, and finding hope when all seems lost. It’s also the story of an unhinged woman’s personal war with a goddamn bird.

Episode Thirteen by Craig DiLouie

Fade to Black is the newest hit ghost hunting reality TV show. Led by husband and wife team Matt and Claire Kirklin, it delivers weekly hauntings investigated by a dedicated team of ghost hunting experts. Episode Thirteen takes them to every ghost hunter’s holy grail: the Paranormal Research Foundation. This brooding, derelict mansion holds secrets and clues about bizarre experiments that took place there in the 1970s. It’s also famously haunted, and the team hopes their scientific techniques and high tech gear will prove it. But as the house begins to reveal itself to them, proof of an afterlife might not be everything Matt dreamed of. A story told in broken pieces, in tapes, journals, and correspondence, this is the story of Episode Thirteen—and how everything went terribly, horribly wrong.

[stupendouspizzacomputer]

INSANITY (Hellaverse x isekai male reader) Winners (Part 1):

•Saint peter (Darren criss)

•Molly

•Gabriel (Fnaf/Five nights at Freddy's/fnafvstf2/freddyfazbear/Fnafedit/Fivenightsatfreddys)

•Jeremy (Fnaf/Five nights at Freddy's/fnafvstf2/Fnafedit/Fivenightsatfreddys)

•Susie (Fnaf/Five nights at Freddy's/fnafvstf2/Fnafedit/Fivenightsatfreddys)

•Fritz (Fnaf/Five nights at Freddy's/fnafvstf2/Fnafedit/Fivenightsatfreddys)

•Charlotte (Fnaf/Five nights at Freddy's/fnafvstf2/Fnafedit/Fivenightsatfreddys)

•Dipper Pines (Gravity Falls/The book of Bill/Gavityfalls)

•Mabel Pines (Gravity Falls/The book of Bill/Gravityfalls)

•Hatsune miku/Miku Hatsune (Vocaloid/Project Sekai/Prsk)

•Stanford Pines (Gravity Falls/The book of Bill/Gravityfalls)

•Stanley Pines (Gravity Falls/The book of Bill/Gravityfalls)

•Audie (animal crossing/Nintendo)

•Cyd (animal crossing/Nintendo)

•Dom (animal crossing/Nintendo)

•Gregory house (House md/Hilson)

•Callie (Splatoon/Splatoon 3/Splatfest/Nintendo)

•Marie (Splatoon/Splatoon 3/Splatfest/Nintendo)

•Nina caliente (ts4/ts4cc/Sims 4/Sims4/the Sims 4/Simblr/Sims4cc/s4cc/Sims/The sims 2/The sims/Ts4 Lookbook/Simblreen/Ts3/s3cc/ts3 legacy/sims 3 screenshots/4t3)

•Cassandra Goth (ts4/ts4cc/Sims 4/Sims4/the Sims 4/Simblr/Sims4cc/s4cc/Sims/The sims 2/The sims/Ts4 Lookbook/Simblreen/Ts3/s3cc/ts3/sims 3 screenshots/4t3)

•Eddie Riaz (911 abc/911 lone star/Ryan Guzman/Buddie/Bucktommy/9-1-1)

•Evan Buckley (911 abc/911 lone star/Oliver Stark/Buddie/Bucktommy/9-1-1)

•Lou Ferrigno jr (911 abc/911 lone Star/Buddie/Bucktommy/9-1-1)

•Aziraphale (Good Omens/Michael Sheen/King of fighters)

•Crowley (Good Omens/David Tennant/King of fighters)

•Hiccup (Httyd/How to train your Dragon)

•Astrid (Httyd/How to train your Dragon)

•Ruffnut (Httyd/How to train your Dragon)

•Tuffnut (Httyd/How to train your Dragon)

•Snotlout (Httyd/How to train your Dragon)

•Fishlegs (Httyd/How to train your Dragon)

•Stoick the Vast (Httyd/How to train your Dragon)

•Valka (Httyd/How to train your Dragon)

•Gobber the Belch (Httyd/How to train your Dragon)

•Luz (Toh/The owl house)

•Amity (Toh/The owl house)

•Izutsumi (Dnd/Dungeon and Dragons/Delicious in Dungeon/Dungeon Meshi)

•Marcille Donato (Dnd/Dungeon and Dragons/Delicious in Dungeon/Dungeon Meshi)

•Laios Touden (Dnd/Dungeon and Dragons/Delicious in Dungeon/Dungeon Meshi)

•Falin Touden (Dnd/Dungeon and Dragons/Delicious in Dungeon/Dungeon Meshi)

•Chilchuck Tims (Dnd/Dungeon and Dragons/Delicious in Dungeon/Dungeon Meshi)

•Senshi (Dnd/Dungeon and Dragons/Delicious in Dungeon/ Dungeon Meshi)

•Riddle Rosehearts (Twisted Wonderland/Twst/Disney Twisted Wonderland)

•The adventurer (Ffxiv/Final Fantasy xiv/Final Fantasy)

•Cloud strife (Ffvii/Final Fantasy vii/Final Fantasy)

•Tifa Lockhart (Ffvii/Final Fantasy vii/Final Fantasy)

•Aerith Gainsborough (Ffvii/Final Fantasy vii/Final Fantasy)

•Yuffie Kisaragi (Ffvii/Final Fantasy vii/Final Fantasy)

•Barret Wallace (Ffvii/Final Fantasy vii/Final Fantasy)

•Elisabeth Woolridge Grant (Laba del rey)

•Sakura (le sserafim)

•Kim Chaewon (le sserafim)

•Huh Yunjin (le sserafim)

•Kazuha (le sserafim)

•Hong Eunchae (le sserafim)

•Hyunjin (Skz/Stray kids)

•Felix (Skz/Stray kids)

•Bang Chan (Skz/Stray kids)

•Lee know (Skz/Stray kids)

•I.N (Skz/Stray kids)

•Han (Skz/Stray kids)

•Seungmin (Skz/Stray kids)

•Changbin (Skz/Stray kids)

•Kim Woojin (Skz/Stray kids)

•Daniel Howell/Dan howell (Dan and phil/mcr/amazingphil/terrible influence tour/Phan/Dan and Phil games)

•Phil Lester (Dan and phil/mcr/amazingphil/terrible influence tour/Phan/Dan and Phil games)

•Caitlin Clark (wnba)

•Hello Kitty (Sanrio)

•Till (Alien Stage/Alnst)

•Ivan (Alien Stage/Alnst)

•Luka (Alien Stage/Alnst)

•Mizi (Alien Stage/Alsnt)

•Sua (Alien Stage/Alnst)

•Christen Press (United States)

•Lucy (Ella purnell)

•Suge Knight (Saturday night live)

•MePhone4 (Inanimate Insanity)

•Cm punk (wwe/aew/nxt/wrestling/Fight club/wwe raw/Monday night raw)

•Jude Bellingham (Real Madrid)

•Kit Connor (Heratstopper/Narlie)

•Ramonda (Angela Bassett/Disney/Black lives Matter/Black Tumblr)

•Pomni (The Amazing Digital Circus/Tadc/Glitch/Digitalcircus/circus)

•Ragatha (The Amazing digital circus/Tadc/Glitch/Digitalcircus/circus)

•Kinger (The Amazing digital circus/Tadc/Glitch/Digitalcircus/circus)

•Gangle (The Amazing digital circus/Tadc/Glitch/Digitalcircus/circus)

•Zooble (The Amazing digital circus/Tadc/Glitch/Digitalcircus/circus)

•Kaufmo (The Amazing digital circus/Tadc/Glitch/Digitalcircus/circus)

•Queenie (The Amazing digital Circus/Tadc/Glitch/Digitalcircus/circus)

•Princess Loolilalu (The Amazing digital circus/Tadc/Glitch/Digitalcircus/circus)

•Martha Mildenhall (The Amazing digital circus/Tadc/Glitch/Digitalcircus/circus)

•Victor Hugo (Les miserables/Les mis)

•Peter Parker (Spideypool)

•Bruce Frederick Joseph Springsteen (Bruce Springsteen)

•Jon Moxley (wwe/aew/nxt/wrestling/Fight Club/wwe raw/Monday night raw)

•Orange Cassidy (wwe/aew/nxt/wrestling/Fight Club/wwe raw/Monday night raw)

•Lara Croft (Tomb Raider)

•Kirby (Kirby/Nintendo)

•Anya (Mouthwashing)

•Sam Reich (Gastronauts)

•Brennan Lee Mulligan (Gastronauts)

•Vic Michaelis (Gastronauts)

•Jakob Wysocky (Gastronauts)

•Oscar Montoya (Gastronauts)

•Kendahl Landreth (Gastronauts)

•Matty Edgell (Gbbo)

•Baby (Neopets)

•Jennie (Jimmy Kimmel Live)

•Chani Kynes (Zendaya/Tomdaya)

•Jannik Sinner (Sincaraz/tennis)

•Carlos Alcaraz (Sincaraz/tennis)

•Ariana Grande-Butera (Ariana Grande)

•Karina (Aespa)

•Winter (Aespa)

•Giselle (Aespa)

•Nigning (Aespa)

•Penelope Featherington (Bridgerton)

•Kermit (Muppets)

•Miss Piggy (Muppets)

•The Princess (Slay the Princess)

•The Doctor (Doctor who)

•Martyn Littlewood (Inthelittlewood)

•Mustafa Kemal Atatürk (Atatürk)

•Bob Belcher (Bob's burgers)

•Gene Belcher (Bob's burgers)

•Tina Belcher (Bob's burgers)

•Linda Belcher (Bob's burgers)

•Louise Belcher (Bob's burgers)

•Elliot (Stardew Valley)

•Tobin Heath (Football)

•Christen Press (Football)

•Filbo Fiddlepie (Bugsnax)

•Eggabell Batternugget (Bugsnax)

•Prince William (Duchess of Cambridge)

•Annabeth Chase (Percy Jackson/Greek Mythology/Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Leah Sava Jeffries)

•Arthur Pendragon (Merlin/BBC merlin/merthur)

•Connor Mcdavid (Hockey/Edmotion oilers)

•Leon Draisatil (Hockey/Edmotion oilers)

[mostlysignssomeportents]

To save the news, ban surveillance ads

Tonight (May 31) at 6:30PM, I’m at the MANCHESTER Waterstones with my novel Red Team Blues, hosted by Ian Forrester.

Tomorrow (Jun 1), I’m giving the Peter Kirstein Lecture for UCL Computer Science in LONDON.

Then it’s Edinburgh, London, and Berlin!

Big Tech steals from the news, but what it steals isn’t content — it steals money. That matters, because if we create pseudo-copyrights over the facts of the news, or headlines, or snippets to help news companies bargain with tech companies, we make the news partners with the tech companies, rather than watchdogs.

How does tech steal money from the news? Lots of ways! One important one: tech steals ad revenue. 51% of every ad dollar gets gobbled up by tech companies — primarily the cozy, collusive ad-tech duopoly of Google/Facebook (AKA Googbook). If we can shatter the market power of the concentrated ad-tech industry, news companies would go back to getting 80–90% of the ad revenue their reporting generated, which would pay for more reporting.

There’s lots to like about fixing ads. For one thing, a fair ad marketplace would benefit all news reporting, not just the largest news companies — which are dominated by private equity-backed chains and right-wing billionaires who have repeatedly shown that any additional revenues will go to pay shareholders, not more reporters. Fair ads would also provide an income for reporters who strike out on their own, covering local politics or specific beats, without making themselves sharecroppers for Big Media.

One way to fix ads would be to break up the ad-tech “stacks.” Googbook both operate impossibly conflicted ad-placement businesses in which they bargain with themselves on behalf of both advertisers and publishers, with the winners always being the tech companies. The AMERICA Act from Senator Mike Lee would force ad giants to divest themselves of business units that create conflicts of interest. It’s popular, bipartisan legislation — and I do mean bipartisan; its backers include Elizabeth Warren and Ted Cruz! I wrote about the AMERICA Act and the role it will play in saving news from tech for EFF’s Deeplinks Blog last week:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2023/05/save-news-we-must-shatter-ad-tech

This week, I’ve got a followup on Deeplinks about another important way to unrig the ad market: banning surveillance ads:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2023/05/save-news-we-must-ban-surveillance-advertising

Even if we break up the ad-tech stacks, ads will still be bad for the news — and for the public. That’s because the dominant form of digital ads is “behavioral advertising” — the ad-tech sector’s polite euphemism for ads based on spying. You know these ads: you search for shoes and then every website you land on is plastered in shoe ads.

Surveillance ads require a massive, multi-billion-dollar surveillance dragnet, one that tracks you as you physically move through the world, and digitally, as you move through the web. Your apps, your phone and your browser are constantly gathering data on your activities to feed the ad-tech industry.

This data is incredibly dangerous. There’s so much of it, and it’s so loosely regulated, that every spy, cop, griefer, stalker, harasser, and identity thief can get it for pennies and use it however they see fit. The ad-tech industry poses a risk to protesters, to people seeking reproductive care, to union organizers, and to vulnerable people targeted by scammers.

Ad-tech maintains the laughable pretense that all this spying is consensual, because you clicked “I agree” on some garbage-novella of impenatrable legalese that no one — not even the ad-tech companies’ lawyers — has ever read from start to finish. But when people are given a real choice to opt out of digital spying, they do. Apple gave Ios users a one-click opt-out of in-app tracking and 96% of users clicked it (the other 4% must have been confused — or on Facebook’s payroll). The decision cost Facebook $10b in the first year. You love to see it:

https://www.cnbc.com/2022/02/02/facebook-says-apple-ios-privacy-change-will-cost-10-billion-this-year.html

But here’s the real punchline: Apple blocked Facebook from spying on its customers, but Apple kept spying on them, just as invasively as Facebook had, in order to target them with Apple’s own ads:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar

The thing that stops companies from spying on us isn’t the strength of their character, it’s the discipline imposed by regulation and competition — the fear that they’ll get fined more than they make from spying, and the fear that they’ll lose so much business from spying that they’ll end up in the red.

Which is why we need a legal ban on ads, not mere platitudes on billboards advertising companies’ “respect” for our privacy. The US is way overdue for a federal privacy law with a private right of action, which would let you and me sue the companies who violated it, even if no public prosecutor was willing to go to bat for us:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/01/you-should-have-right-sue-companies-violate-your-privacy

A privacy law that required companies to get your affirmative, enthusiastic, ongoing, specific, informed consent to gather and process your personal data would end surveillance ads forever. Despite the self-serving nonsense the ad-tech industry serves up about people “liking relevant ads,” no one wants to be spied on. 96% of Ios users don’t lie.

A ban on surveillance ads wouldn’t just serve the public, it would also save the news. The alternative to surveillance ads is context ads: ads based on what a reader is reading, rather than what that reader was doing. Context-based ad marketplaces ask, “What am I bid for this Pixel 6 user in Boise who is reading about banana farming?” instead of “What am I bid for this 22 year old man who recently searched for information about suicidal ideation and bankruptcy protection?”

Context ads perform a little worse than surveillance ads — by about 5%:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/04/29/taken-in-context/#creep-me-not

So presumably advertisers won’t pay as much for context ads as they do for behavioral targeting. But that doesn’t mean that the news will lose money. Because context ads favor publishers over ad-tech platforms — no publisher will ever know as much about internet users as spying ad-tech giants do, but no tech company will ever know as much about a publisher’s content as the publisher does.

Behavioral ad marketplaces have high barriers to entry, requiring troves of surveillance data on billions of internet users. They are naturally anticompetitive and able to command a much higher share of each ad dollar than a contextual ad service (which would have much more competiition) could.

On top of that: if behavioral advertising was limited to people who truly consented to it, 96% of users would never see an ad!

So contextual ads will show up for more users, and more of the money they generate will land in news publishers’ pockets. If context ads fetch less money per ad, the losses will be felt by ad-tech companies, not publishers.

Finally: publishers who join the fight against surveillance ads won’t be alone — they’ll be joining with a massive, popular movement against commercial surveillance. The news business is — and always has been — a niche subject, of burning interest to publishers, reporters, and a small minority of news junkies. The news on its own is a small fry in policy debates. But when it comes to killing surveillance ads, the news has a class alliance with the mass movement for privacy, and together, they’re a force to reckon with.

My article on killing surveillance ads is part three of an ongoing, five-part series for EFF on how we save the news from tech. The introduction, which sets out the whole series, is here:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2023/04/saving-news-big-tech

The final two parts will come out over the next two weeks, and then we’re going to publish the whole thing as a PDF that suitable for sharing. Watch this space!

Catch me on tour with Red Team Blues in Manchester, Edinburgh, London, and Berlin!

[Image ID: EFF's banner for the save news series; the word 'NEWS' appears in pixelated, gothic script in the style of a newspaper masthead. Beneath it in four entwined circles are logos for breaking up ad-tech, ending surveillance ads, opening app stores, and end-to-end delivery. All the icons except for 'ending surveillance ads' are greyed out.]

If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/31/context-ads/#class-formation

Image: EFF https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2023/05/save-news-we-must-ban-surveillance-advertising

CC BY 3.0: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en