#but only two of the recipes required it so thats good

[reformedpeasant]

some days you wake up and want to bake three different kinds of bread

[antisocialmia]

Dr. W. Afton headcanons

sfw and nsfw mentioned -> mdni

gen!neutral reader, just silly thoughts and mostly sweet (I hope) probably not readproof so sorry for any writing mistakes.

Dr. W. Afton from the game 'Thats Not My Neighbour'

Disclaimer!! I dont own the character or anything. Just trying to support the creators.

Art credits: @_.calitryx on TikTok

Appearance

probably about 5'11 to 6'0 tall

takes really good care of his facial hair (the maximum it gets are two days before he shaves again)

see him something between slim and yet muscular, sleeper build

slim waist and his shoulders on the broader side

Cake. Thats it.

his hands are rather on the rough side but he tries to take care of them

long fingers and takes the cleaning of his hands very seriously??

he has defined features but not like too sharp

Random

he has knee issues

addicted to coffee, also his very first thought after waking up

has a habit of sleeping in when he has a day off

or so he says ─ the first time you slept over he was awake at 7.

takes a lot of time for his hair in the bathroom

was insecure about his nose in his teens but learned to accept it nonetheless

he's left-handed

randomly mutturs out some facts throughout the day

he needs to push up his glasses pretty often because he once broke them by sitting down on them but refused to get them fixed

"its only a little bent." Yeah, a whole 90 degrees

he has a picture of you in his wallet

probably all his colleges know about you at this point

he's such a yapper once talking about a topic he enjoys maybe just a little too much ─ but you let him because who can say no to someone like him?

notices the tiniest changes of literally anything

going from things laying somewhere else in his apartment to the act of a person he's talking to

also the type of guy who watches you look at something a little too long and buys it for you as a present later

he remembers everything, literally has the brain of an elephant. 'I remember you saying you wish you had that so I got it for you.'

Style

you might actually mistake him for a phyics teacher (that damn checker pattern)

closet is mostly filled with linen shirts and some suit pants

'thats all he ever needed' ─ his words

color variates, he has almost every color but those bright ones.

of course he has some home clothes (you love to steal)

comfortable sweats and cozy sweaters

great taste when it comes for comfortable clothing ─ always manages to get the most fluffy ones too.

for jewlery, he only wears his watch around his left wrist

Activities

he probably has a gym membership but never actually goes

if you go tho, he might join you

in his freetime he loves to jog

loves to explore new things, like new recipes to new games (If mobile or not)

playfights usually end up with him laying down on you with his full weight

always has a stupid grin on his face when he does that

Apartment

he's completely clean, not freaky clean tho

there's not a single dust grain

but hes not too pressed about it ─ he simply enjoys tidying his apartment

gives him some sort of comfort

you can also find sometimes his clothes over the couch or laying on the ground, which is rare but it happens

his job doesnt require too much of his time so he has plenty of time at home

Relationships

like said before, he had some insecurities

confidence wasnt his thing in his teens (He was probably one of those 'uhm actually' kids but unintentionally.)

changed in his 20's ─ went out regulary but never found anything that could have gone further

which changed when you came around

so, he indeed was experienced but you taught him things aswell

love language is physical touch and acts of service (also words of affirmation)

loves random hugs and gives them too

huge on pda and shows it too

he really loves to just embrace you and cuddle with you on the couch or in bed while watching a movie or show

sleeping with him is hell

he's tussing and turning all night long, but only If you arent in his grasp

once youre trapped in his arms there's no way out and he wont move a single inch

small snores, but only once in a while ─ barely noticable too.

has all sorts of nicknames for you 'baby' , 'love' , 'honey' , 'sugar' , 'cupcake' you name it.

NSFW -> mdni

a complete switch

service dom

lives to do what you tell him to

to the location -> probably everywhere in the apartment when youre up to it

high-sex drive and probably lasts atleast 2 rounds

gets super touchy when he's worked up and just hints what he wants instead of saying it directly

he's shy! Just catch up to what he's implying.

knows the difference between harder and faster

also, not exactly into hard bdsm but isnt shy to explore with you either

praising to the top with him

you wont catch him letting out one word that would degrade

loves physical touch so this is his time to shine

body worshiping

kisses every inch of skin his lips can reach and then again

always tells you how good youre doing and how proud he is of you for taking him that well.

he's not.. exactly small either

a true mystery how he keeps it hidden beneath those forbidden pants

he loves to mark you, not for claiming and only for his eyes to see (maybe on the nape of your neck but not further)

basically, he does it how you want it. Romantic, slow and tender? He's in with all at it. Rose pedals even.

in the mood for something more rough and- ahem- man handling? Sure. He's in. But expect a godly aftercare ─ he can't stand the thought of hurting you

Aftercare

whenever, he's all sweet and gentle

acting as If youre made out of glass and will break any moment

once again he'll do anything you ask him to do.

a bath? 'Of course, my love.' Just a simple glass of water? Its already on your nightstand. Cuddles? Thats already happening before you had the thought. A massage? 'Just relax,'

a dream, literally.

he'll clean you both up without a second thought and wont let you lift a finger

if you do, youre met with a pouty expression on his face.

Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it. A little rushed.

[dearbisexual]

i have perfected my method for "lazy" vegetable fried rice and im going to share it with y'all because it tastes good, takes about 10 mins to make, and actually gets me to eat vegetables!! AND THERES NO CHOPPING INVOLVED, IF YOU SO CHOOSE. it also only dirties one pan, one spatula, and one plate and utensil(s) if you do it right, are you sold yet? idc let's go

ingredients:

leftover rice - hard requirement. im told by the internet it tastes the best if it's been refrigerated. but if you want to use fresh rice thats fine too, but that's an extra step and just know that i won't be listing that as a step below. you can use whatever kind of rice you want, ive been using basmati rice because my sister bought a GIANT bag of it and we've been making it for dinner a lot

vegetables - hard requirement. you can use fresh but 1) that requires chopping which is extra steps and cleanup. dad likes to buy these frozen "mixed vegetables" bags and they cook in the microwave in the bag and ive been using those, theyve got corn, peas, green beans, and carrots. you can obviously choose different frozen vegetables, they sell em in different mixes at the store

soy sauce - hard requirement. i don't have any notes for this one. use whatever kind of soy sauce you prefer

butter - soft requirement. recommended because it tastes good and most ppl have it but if you'd prefer, you can use a vegetable oil of your choice

sesame oil - soft requirement BUT EXTREMELY RECOMMENDED. it tastes so good. i know everyone may not be able to splurge for it or may have a sesame allergy but it's honestly what makes this taste so good for me

one egg - optional. fried rice usually has bits of egg in it like traditionally but i tried it and im not a fan of the added eggy flavor. i like the texture though, i might experiment with tofu in the future

hardware:

medium sized pan

spatula or similar

directions:

preheat your pan on medium heat. if you're using frozen vegetables, i recommend microwaving them for like, 2 mins to soften them up. they don't have to be piping hot, but they cook better if they're not totally frozen.

add about a tablespoon or two of butter to your pan. if you want egg, go ahead and fry your egg in the pan and put it to the side when it's to your liking, to be added back in later. once the veggies are softened, add as much or as little as you'd like to the pan. lightly drizzle in some sesame oil and soy sauce and saute for a few minutes, or until the veggies are hot.

IMPORTANT NOTE: if you add too much sesame oil, (or butter) your rice WILL be too greasy and give you a stomach ache (trust me). less is more here.

anyway, when the veggies are hot and have yknow mingled with the sesame oil and soy sauce, toss in your rice and stir fry. add a little more soy sauce if you think it needs it, but remember that you can always add in soy sauce to taste when you're done. add in your egg if you fried one, chopping it up with the spatula.

finally, once the rice has browned to your liking, slap it on a plate. you can wait for it to cool to dig in but i don't

and that's it! if you make this, you're required to tell me what you think, pretty please.

ALSO this is NOT an "authentic" fried rice recipe and i realize that, this is just something tasty i make for myself to eat vegetables.

ok that's it i love you bye

[ducknotinarow]

[87 Casey and Mikey - with some Raph uwu]

Food was a love language; cooking for someone, creating something delicious from scratch, was a form of love to Casey. So, could he really be blamed for getting upset, dare someone say, jealous, about the fact Raph kept cooking for another person - despite the fact he had, somewhat, made his distaste known.

Well, two can play at this game, as petty as it was going to be.

Approaching Mikey, a Tupperware box full of brownies in hand, Casey stared down at them from behind his signature mask,

"Here," He starts, "I want you to have these."

He held them out, just waiting for Mikey to take the box,

"I know you're the cook among your brother; my ma taught me how to bake...I wanted to know you're opinion on them."

Casey glanced away to the side, looking towards Raphael; he wasn't as dense as some people thought. He slowly looks back to Mikey,

"I made them special."

| Muse interaction

Mikey was pretty aware he was being watched at the moment, the fact he was cooking of course would answer as to why. Well at least normally it would answer as to why he was being watched. Someone would catch whiff of what was cooking in the kitchen, mostly pizza, okay nearly always pizza when Mikey was in here. Most time it wasn't? it was because Master Splinter was in the kitchen and he felt Pizza for every meal wasn't the best choice. It was in fact pizza though. Though he has a feeling him making pizza wasn't why Raphael was in the kitchen they seemed content munching away at the cereal from the box they had open. Mikey knew any moment Leonardo would be making his way in here and grab the marker to write Raphael's name on to that box as well since he was dinging his hands into the box to get handfuls of the stuff to shove into his mouth. His brow was all furrowed down as he loudly munched away clearly seemed upset.

Michelangelo just continued on about what he was doing before he toss the current pizza into the oven so it could start to cook well taking the one from before out to start cooling down. "Alright dude what do you want you bee staring for too long and it's kind of freaking me out."

"Is cooking for someone a big deal? to you?" Raphael finally speaks up getting his youngest brothers opinion after a faint little spat between him and Casey from the other day.

"I mean yeah sure?" Michelangelo answered a bit confused "I mean Master Splinter always made us his special recipes o try and cheer us up." He pointed out "I like making you guys specif pizzas sometimes your favorites once in while course." He goes on to list only now really looking over his brother's expression it seemed to loosen up slightly. "Why?"

"I still sort feel bad about the whole thing with Von ya know?" Of course he did he was annoyed when it came to Donatello's reaction and how they ignored his advice about the matter. "So, i dunno I guess I maybe took a page your book and thought making something from where she from would be nice cause well she's here now and all. Failed attempts aside I tried asking Casey for help and when I explained why? he got upset with me! Cause I never cooked for him."

"Well why not?"

"Because I suck at it!" Raphael snaps as if that should have been beyond obvious.

"Yeah I know why i banned you from the stove, still don't answer why dude?"

Raphael quirks his beak a little and crosses his arms over in front of himself. "I tried...but tried taking it back it wasn't good..enough for Casey."

Well that had Michelangelo's attention. An attempt to say sorry didn't require being perfect but at least to try over more than once. Von was to nice not to eat it though. She going to need an emergency room one day. "You sure your not still hung up on the fake date?"

"No! jeez thats as dumb as Casey taking this to be something deeper! It's like he thinks I like her in that way! IM GAY MICHELANGELO!"

Michelangelo rubbed at the side of his head and nodded he was only kidding when he said it but he could see his brother was actually upset about this. Maybe Casey was the jealous type? But okay maybe, just not really in that way he was feeling jealous here about it? Didn't Casey bake after all? Michelangelo started to think to himself. Letting Raphael have a moment to relax before they kept speaking. But seemed their conversation was going to be cut short for now when Mikey catches sight of Casey walking into the lair. Tupperware in their hands. Looked like brownies, maybe they were coming to make up?

Michelangelo moved to turn his shell to the couple he may be happy for his brother and his friend but don't mean he wants to watch their displays of affection. Besides it only seemed right to offer them some privacy here.

"Here,"

The voice was Casey's but it was closer than it should be? looking up to his left he found himself metting the white hockey mask he sometime swore was just Casey's face from the times it seemed to convey his emotions so well. And right now? Michelangelo

"I want you to have these."

Mikey looked down to the Tupperware Casey brought in. He knew before but now he was far mkre sure thst it was in fact full of brownies likely his own.

Oh great.

"I know you're the cook among your brother; my ma taught me how to bake...I wanted to know you're opinion on them."

As well of an excuse that was though Michaelangelo noted the way they paid a glance back at Raphael despite what they said. It was pretty clear the reason wasn't excatly as Casey told him.

"I made them special."

The way Raphael's beak fell open at that mention sold it. Michaelangelo sighed heavily to himself when. He was getting a better idea here Casey was in fact jealous not of Yvonne per day more the fact Raph was extending this action to someone that wasn't him. Meanwhile, Raph is fine extending it that way to her because it's not a big deal to him. But won't to casey because he wants it to be good maybe perfect. Man him and Donatello really did share some of the dumbest traits at times. And Mikelangelo was wondering if he should just charge Raph, Casey, Von and Don for his services at this point.

"Thank you Casey, I'm not much a baker myself but I do love home cooked goods." He offers before taking the container it would still be rude even if Casey was being petty and jealous and looking for some payback towards his brother. It would still be rude to not accept. Setting it down he soo. Whips around and points a finger to Raphael who was in tje middle of huffing his way out of the room. "Raphael sit!"

Raphael was slightly stunned despite the annoyance of how he was commanded to do so he grumbled and fall back into a chair. Michaelangelo then looked to casey and spoke in a firm but nicer tone. "You two Casey you two need to sort this out and if I gotta play mediator fine." He points out as he pops the lid off the container and snags a brownie to take a bite of the first one he gets his hand on.

"Oh! Now I see why Raphael brags about them, Casey these are amazing! No wonder it clearly hurts his feelings" he begins as he shifts his attetion towards Raphael. He might be a tad biased here seeing how he could related to Casey's side of the issue after all. "That someone only takes with out giving back in a way that means so much for that he clearly put a lot into his own work here?" Loft up one side if his brow trying to throw a hint at his brother who simply rolled his eyes and slumped in his chair. Grumbling something about Michaelangelo being a traitor but did seem to be getting his point despite it.

"Go on Casey sit down well sort it all out." He suggests again smiling up to them. "I'm taking these as payment though they really are delicious your gonna have to tell me your favorite pizza dude to repay you."

[prismatic-bell]

Apologies in advance if this question is unwelcome. Ill take no offence if you need to ignore it.

Regarding your recent post expressing frustrations, what is your ideal vision for interaction with you regarding your posts about Judaism? Its obvious that people like something about either the way you write or you as a person that makes them want to ask you things, and i admit that seeing your original posts is a highlight of my day too. What would be the least stressful outcome?

(If its a straight "please dont", thats justified though.)

So I sat on this for a few days, because I wrote a few SUPER-salty answers in my drafts and the salt had 0% to do with you and everything to do with the situation, and I didn’t want to inflict that on you when you asked a good and fair question. My two main issues with the questions I get asked are two of the same issues I see a lot of Black Tumblrites complain about, and they’re related but not the same: 1) assuming Jews are a monolith and I can speak for all of them 2) Substituting me for research. So the first one: there are 16 million Jews in the world, and approximately 18.5 million Jewish opinions on any given subject. My roommate subscribes to Cook’s Country and when they had a challah recipe in it they literally talked about how impossible it was to get a consensus from their Jewish contributors on how challah “should” be made. And that’s just talking about a baked good, not complicated theological questions! I can only answer for myself, as a queer convert member of the Reform Jewish community. I can’t speak for the Orthodox, or the atheists, or the born Jews who had kids and now want to reconnect, or 60-year-old Israeli men who are studying kabbalah, or or or or or. Questions more complicated than, say . . . “what’s Purim?” are not questions I can answer, except in regard to how I personally feel or view them. The second one: the question that led to that post was someone who I’m actually pretty sure was lying to me. They claimed to be a “professional restorer” (of . . . . ?), and wanted to know about “the Jewish relationship to the material world and materialism.” I don’t even know what the fuck I just said, much less how to answer it. Nor do I know why a “professional restorer”--again, of . . . . ? Furniture? Metal items? Paintings? ‘Professional restorer’ doesn’t tell me shit--would be asking a random Tumblrite to answer what is almost certainly a complicated and multifaceted theological question that has a distinct whiff of “greedy Jew” about it.

Anyway--what it sounds like to me is a whole slew of research papers. That is a question you should be asking of multiple rabbis, and you should expect to do a lot of reading on it. I’ve gotten similar questions before--”what is the Jewish concept of the afterlife” pops up a lot.

So what I would like is, take your question and try to reword it as a “today I will talk about” statement. Today I will talk about the Jubilee. Today I will talk about the Jewish concept of material objects and materialism. If your statement sounds like the first draft of a college thesis, asking a random person on Tumblr is not the way to get an answer. (If it sounds more like something you might hear in an elementary or middle school presentation, go ahead and ask it.)

Now: what should you do if you get the “fuck, this sounds like a college thesis” kind of statement? This is going to sound very glib, but I’m actually very serious: either go to your local library and ask for the location of the religious section, or call a rabbi. Now I will warn you ahead of time that neither the rabbi nor the religious section will have a complete answer for you, because, well . . .

THIS IS A SINGLE BOOK OF COMMENTARY. That’s the Babylonian Talmud. Which contains approximately 400 years (out of 4000 years total) of some (not all) religious arguments by and between some (nowhere near all) learned sages and rabbis. People study this book for their entire lives. There are literally men in the ultra-orthodox community who are fed, clothed, and housed by the community and their entire job is to read and study this book and the Tanakh from dawn to dusk, for their entire lives. And even they are considered to have learned only a fraction of the truth.

. . . . you can see why I don’t like getting those questions.

So just. Think for a minute. When I get prickly over these questions, the answer is inevitably “sorry, you just seemed to know what you were talking about.” Yes! But you’re asking me something very intensive! I’m not getting paid for this! This is a personal blog, even if it is a popular one! I might be verbose, but that doesn’t mean I want to write an entire master’s thesis! That’s all I ask. Consider for a moment whether you’re asking a super-complicated question that requires an expert. If you are, I am not the person and this is not the correct forum.

[mudpuddless]

Q-Branch's Saturday night dish

aka. tofu & veggie noodles, because they make everything better, even nightshifts. (recipe under the cut)

Ingredients are (as the name suggests) highly variable and partially not even strictly necessary but if you want a simple simple dish you can always eat microwave lasagna, so:

noodles (instant ramen? rice noodles? leftover spaghetti? anything goes)

veggies (I used aubergine, zucchini and pea pods because thats what I had on hand. usually at the very bottom of a fridge there are at least some carrots, even in q-branch)

tofu (self explanatory. also not technically required but. ya know. just do it. q-branch typically has some on hand because it keeps for forever)

furthermore:

soysauce

sesame oil (no, its not necessary. its only a teaspoon. I'm not saying you need to add it but you absolutely need to add it)

cooking oil or butter

chili (powder? chopped and dried? fresh? or *gasp* none at all? doesn't matter. of you're cooking for the rest of the team you might want to leave that to personal preference but ya know.((if you want to join team villains, just dumb a whole bunch and dont tell anyone))

lemon juice (again not necessary but you should still absolutely put it, trust me)

garlic

onions

cream/ coconut milk (as per preference. you can always leave it out completely but it helps if you prefer milder dishes)

peanuts (just. peanuts. they can be salted or plain or leftover from some trail mix. again: check with the rest of the shift if anyone is allergic. putting peanuts in food for someone with a nut allergy won't even land you in team villains, even we aren't that bad)

sugar (or honey, if your boss happens to be the extravagant kind and keeps honey for tea around)

water (you always need water. if not for the dish because your noodles are already cooked and your veggies dont need to be steamed, you could always drink some. also take your meds.)

Then you need some kitchen appliances:

a pan, coated of possible because yes

a cutting board for this veggies you are adding because scurvy is not something someone from the 21st century should die from. also for the tofu.

a knife (NOOO) or two knives. or three if youre feeling fancy. the more the merrier and so on

a pot or kettle if you need to cook your noodles and depending on which noodles you're using.

maybe a measuring spoon, but you know. the rules were made to be broken.

NOW. COOKING *cries in teenager*

(these steps read like a choose your own adventure novel except there are no numbers because no. just follow the instructions)

#1 NOODLES:

-> if you have leftover spaghetti: good for you. onto the veggies.

-> if you are using instant ramen: prepare them like usual, except you don't add the seasoning and chilipowder and plant oil and whatever else, to make the worlds most disappointing bowl of ramen.

-> if you are using any kind of asian noodles: usually you can cook them pretty easily by playing them in a bowl and pouring boiling water on top. just let them steep and you're fine. (if they need to cooked, as in "in a pot" cooked (like spaghetti) , do that instead. if you have a choice between spaghetti and any kind of ramen, choose the ramen though)

#2 VEGGIES:

(just. pick whichever veggies youre using, again: these can grow cold so you could use left overs. just. consider what spices are already on them)

-> carrots: cut into thin slices (like wheels but more angled for fanciness points), roast in cooking oil with a pinch of sugar

-> zucchini: cut into 3 mm or 1/8 inch wheels, place in a bowl, cover with boiling water and a pinch of salt, till you like the consistency (usually 7-10 minutes), then drain

-> aubergine: steam with water and a pinch of salt until done, add more water as necessary, place aside when done

-> peapods: roast with a bit of oil and a pinch of salt, place aside when done

-> broccoli or cauliflower: split the little tree thingies into quarters along the vertical axis, roast with a bit of oil and a pinch of salt, place aside when done

-> peas or corn: if they're fresh, add them to a pan with a spoon full of water and roast in a bit of oil and a pinch of slat and sugar when they're almost done

-> any canned veggies (peas, corn, bamboo sprout slices etc): drain and put aside, canned veggies are all cooked in the canning proccess

!!! IT DOESN'T MATTER OF YOU NOODLES/ VEGGIES COOL DOWN OR GO COLD ENTIRELY, SO JUST MAKE THEM WHENEVER YOU HAVE TIME!!!

#3 TOFU

-> cut your block of tofu into cubes (circa one inch or 1.3 cm), place the cubes on a paper towel to get rid of excess water. in a pan heat a tablespoon of oil, a pinch of sugar, a pinch of salt and some chili flakes. add the tofu when the oil is hot and fry till golden brown.

!!! IT DOESN'T MATTER OF YOU NOODLES/ VEGGIES COOL DOWN OR GO COLD ENTIRELY, SO JUST MAKE THEM WHENEVER YOU HAVE TIME!!!

to finish off:

slice up some onions and roast in a bit of oil and a pinch of sugar and salt.

add crushed and diced garlic

add crushed or diced peanuts

add all your veggies and stir

add your noodles and stir

add any amount of soy sauce depending on the amount of food you're making. keep in mind the amount of salt you added to the individual veggies. (safe amounts are anything form one to four table spoons of soy sauce)

add one teaspoon of sugar

stir.

when you think you're done, keep stirring for another ten seconds.

taste: does it need more salt? sugar? soy sauce? this recipe is too vague on everything else for me to give precise measurements for the sauce, so taste test!!!

if you added too much salt, added too much chili or like coconut milk: add coconut milk

stir again

place in a bowl

sprinkle as much chili as you like on top

add (depending on your portion size and preference) half to a full teaspoon of sesame oil by drizzling it on top

stir and enjoy

use your newfound energy to take over the British government from the inside. join team villains :)

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

in honor of the rf4 special coming to the us + people starting to play it, here’s an old guide i made for someone:

HOW TO Get All Your Crafting Skills Real High (Real Fast)

for forging/crafting:

grab your hammer. head out to selphia plain. right around the town gates + in yokmir forest is a ton of iron ore nodes. mine them all. get ALL the iron. go back to your forge/crafting table and

start making broadswords and iron shields (broadswords if you’re grinding forging, shields for crafting)

specifically these items, because both only take one iron to make. nothing else. dont use all your iron on them though. you want ideally 9 ore for every one sword/shield you make. i specify 9 because that’s how many you need to

UPGRADE THOSE GUYS right up to level 10 with the leftover iron. depending on your smithing/crafting level this might take all your rp. (optional: get some milk, make yourself a ton of hot milk. not only will they probably refill your rp to full, they give you a +100 boost to it!)

rinse & repeat. make yourself a new hammer whenever you get your forging high enough so you can get more iron (and rarer materials when you start making gear to use). dont fool yourself into thinking youll use bronze or better ores once you start getting good, its not gonna work. stick to iron. im serious, this is literally the fastest way to grind. this method got me from level 1 to 99 before i even beat the game.

for medicine:

figure out the highest level health potion you can make (regeneration/healing/mystery/etc.) all of those just require medicinal herbs (which tbh you should be stockpiling anyway since they’re requested so often from eliza) and some colored grass, and all colored grass can be found in large quantities in a specific location (purple grass in selphia plain, yellow grass in autumn road, white grass in sechs territory, etc)*

make as many as you can every day. once again, hot milk is your friend here. at some point you’ll go over the level of the highest level health potion, at which point just craft whatever you can with the rare flowers you’re growing. if you’re trying to max out that is, honestly once you can craft the best health potions you’re set

for cooking:

honestly there’s no good way to grind cooking. your best bet is to make things you can farm the materials for (or buy really easily), so-

bamboo rice with the basic cooking machine (buy rice from blossom, bamboo rice you can till up from your fields or selphia plains/yokmir)

hot milk with the pot (milk in various sizes drops from the cows near the water ruins, very early in the game)

apple juice with the mixer (apples drop from, aptly, the apple monsters) and various other juices once you find the other fruit-dropping monsters

bread and then toast with the basic appliance and then the oven (its a two-for-one deal. you get the exp from bread AND toast.)

corn on the cob with the oven (corn doesnt drop from enemies but its a regrowing crop thats SUPER easy to grow) - this is the highest-level recipe but it gives you a TON of exp, so def start making it once you can

tl;dr: craft broadswords and iron shields and upgrade them to level ten, gather up all the grass and make the highest level health potion you can, just do whatever’s easiest for cooking

*grass locations in order of (probably) order of the area’s appearance in your game:

green grass: everywhere, but specifically in all the fields and selphia plain (also maya road i think? but by the time you get there you will NOT need it)

purple grass: selphia plain (esp near the field on the screen that’s split in two with the ants and apple monstes)

blue grass: yokmir forest

black grass: obsidian mansion

indigo grass: yokmir cave

yellow grass: autumn road

red grass: delirium lava ruins

orange grass: secezero hill

white grass: sechs territory

[dragonologist-phd]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age (Video Games) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Female Cousland/Anora Mac Tir Characters: Anora Mac Tir, Female Cousland (Dragon Age) Additional Tags: Gay yearning, thats it just a lot of gay yearning, I'm Sorry, pre-game Summary:

Anora Mac Tir knows what she wants- she wants to marry Cailan and become the greatest Queen Ferelden has ever known. But on the eve of her wedding, a visit from Sirena Cousland reminds her that there might be other she wants, as well.

(Alternatively, read below!)

It was the night before Anora was to be married, and try as she might she simply couldn’t get a wink of sleep.

Of course she couldn’t. How could anyone expect her to, with such a momentous event looming on the horizon? She’d known her entire life that she was meant to one day become Queen of Ferelden; tomorrow, with her marriage into the Therein family, that destiny would become official. And while any wedding had its share of preparations, the marriage of a future king and queen required a good deal more than a gown and a recitation of vows before a Chantry mother. There were public appearances to be made in front of the Denerim crowds, long speeches to be delivered beneath the Chantry roof, and of course a reception to be held for the visiting nobility who were traveling from all across the country to witness the union.

Anora had never been one to sit back and let others make arrangements in her stead; she had been involved in every step of the preparations, and had poured hours of effort into ensuring that everything would go exactly according to plan. Truth be told, she would be quite relieved when the whole thing was over and done with- the trappings of the wedding were important, a vital part of the image she and Cailan needed to display to the country, but Anora was long ready to turn her attentions to something a bit more stimulating.

She would have the freedom soon enough, she kept reminding herself. She just needed to get through the coming day. And although she knew a proper night’s sleep would help with that, that logic didn’t help as her mind continued to circle over the details she had so carefully planned out for her future.

The restless energy buzzed through Anora like a gnat she couldn’t swat away, filling her with the need to do… something. At last she threw her sheets to the side and rose from her bed, abandoning the pretense of peaceful slumber. What she needed was to move, to occupy herself, to do anything other than sit still and wait for morning. At the very least she could wander the palace gardens- perhaps the fresh air would be enough to free her mind until fatigue finally caught up with her.

As she pulled a warm woolen cloak over her shoulders, Anora told herself she wouldn’t be long. The last thing she wanted was for someone to come across her like this, with undone hair and tired eyes; or worse, for someone drop by her empty room and think her missing.

But as she stepped outside Anora was greeted by a gust of refreshingly chilled wind, and the night sky above was clear and full of stars, and for the first time that day she felt some of the tension leave her body. Even as the hour grew later and later, Anora found herself lingering, her thoughts drifting as she strolled aimlessly along the dirt paths. Perhaps there was no need to rush, after all. She’d memorized the guard’s schedules long ago, and knew how to avoid them; no servants had any business in the gardens this late; any nobles still awake were probably deep in their cups, just as Cailan likely was.

Just as Anora had convinced herself that her solitude was complete, however, a voice rang out across the gardens.

“Anora? What in the world are you doing out here?”

The sudden voice made Anora jump, and she heaved a sigh of annoyance as she realized she’d been spotted. The annoyance fled, however, once she realized who it was that had done the spotting.

“Lady Sirena? Is that you?”

A closer look revealed that it was indeed the Lady Sirena Cousland, who for some reason was perched on a garden wall, one leg hanging carelessly off the side. She laughed and leapt from the wall, heading towards Anora with a grin. “Oh please, don’t lead with the Lady. If you do, I’ll have to call you ‘soon-to-be Future Queen Anora of Ferelden’, and as lovely a title as that is, it’s quite a mouthful.”

Anora fought back a smile. Nobody else would ever speak to her in such a way, but this was Sirena- always ready with a teasing response, hardly worried about any offense she might cause. The Couslands ruled over Highever, and were, along with the Mac Tirs, one of the most respected noble families of Ferelden. That reputation, coupled with Sirena’s disarming smile and easy temperament, was a perfect recipe for the effortless confidence that constantly radiated from the youngest Cousland child.

That disarming smile was now turned upon Anora in full force as Sirena asked, “Really, what are you doing out here?” She tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me I’m interrupting a clandestine meeting under the moonlight? And on the eve of your own wedding?”

A huff of laughter escaped Anora’s lips even as she rolled her eyes. “Oh, banish the thought. I was just thinking how pleased I was to see you, and now you’re making me change my mind.”

Sirena just laughed again and wrapped an arm around Anora’s shoulders, pulling her close for a hug. Her long dark hair smelled of rain, and she wore a thick fur cloak over plain traveling clothes; she must have arrived very recently.

“How was the journey from Highever?”

“Too long, as always,” Sirena answered with a shrug. “But you don’t want to hear about a boring carriage trip through the rain and mud. How are you? I am genuinely curious as to what brings out so late on this of all nights.”

Anora waved a dismissive hand in the air. “It’s not that late. And I couldn’t sleep.”

“Too excited?”

“Too preoccupied, rather. There’s so much to think about for tomorrow. Every time I close my eyes, I remember yet another detail that I want to check up on.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Sirena said. “But don’t you have people to do that sort of work for you?”

“Of course I do,” Anora admitted. “But if you want something done correctly…”

“Do it yourself,” Sirena finished. “You’ve been living that motto since we were children.”

“And it’s still true,” Anora pointed out wryly. “Anyway, I could ask the same question of you. How did you end up out here instead of in our rather lovely guest chambers?”

Sirena shrugged and looked back in the direction she’d come from, her gaze traveling over the garden, toward the training ground, beyond the towers that looked over the Denerim marketplace. “Oh, traveling always leaves me nostalgic. I was just wandering around, revisiting a few spots before they’re filled up with people tomorrow.”

Anora could guess as to which memories Sirena was reliving. They had both spent many days at the Denerim palace, watching their parents go about the duties of nobility, knowing that someday they would take their places.

That knowledge had been with Anora for as long as she could remember; her entire life, she reflected, was a preparation for rulership, and it had always been a perfect fit. Even as a child, Anora had loved listening in on the courtly proceedings and hearings, things that bored Cailan to tears as he dutifully followed her lead. In sharp contrast, the silly games and childish play of the other children had always seemed, to Anora, to all be horribly dull.

But even at a young age, Sirena was hard to miss. Always something of a troublemaker, she was direct and honest and said things as they were without layers of political machinations. Her friendship with Anora was something of a mystery, even to Anora herself. But she had to admit there was something about Sirena’s easy confidence and strangely insightful remarks that managed to hold Anora’s interest where few others could.

“It’s been too long since you’ve visited,” Anora remarked, and Sirena’s focus shifted from the palace grounds back to Anora. Her dark eyes were, for a moment, unexpectedly thoughtful. But only for a moment- they quickly brightened again as Sirena gave Anora a warm smile.

“It really has, hasn’t it? We should catch up. And you obviously need to relax a little.” Her grin took on a mischievous edge. “And I have just the thing for that.”

“I need to sleep, not drink myself into a stupor.”

Sirena gave a bark of laughter as she poured the liquor into two glasses and held one out to Anora. “Cailan and his buddies are getting good and drunk out in the courtyard as we speak. Why should they get all the fun?”

The two women were back in Anora’s quarters, having quietly returned after making a quick detour in the kitchens to pilfer a bottle of spirits. Sirena now sat cross-legged on Anora’s carpet, the very picture of temptation as she waggled the glass in her hand towards Anora.

Anora simply rolled her eyes. “You’re relentless.” And yet despite the scoffing she sat down anyway, gathering her skirts around knees, and graciously took the glass. Sirena had chosen a strong liquor, one of the more expensive selections from the wine cellar; today, the choice seemed appropriate. “But I suppose I can’t refuse a toast on the eve of my wedding.”

“Exactly.” Sirena turned her attention to her own glass, carefully measuring out the drink before holding it aloft. “To the bride, and future Queen of Ferelden.”

Anora brought her glass to meet Sirena’s with a soft clink, and then swiftly lifted it to her lips and swallowed the entire drink in one quick gulp.

Sirena downed her drink as well, then laughed in delight. “That’s the spirit I was looking for! I must say, I’m impressed.”

“Don’t tell me this comes as a surprise,” Anora said with a smirk. “Handling one’s drink is a requisite of Ferelden nobility.”

“Ah, yes, I almost forgot. They fit that right between the lessons on Andrastian recitations and history of the Fereldan Rebellion.

With a grin, Anora held out her glass for more liquor, and Sirena happily obliged. As they drank they fell into conversation, a simple rhythm of chatting and drinking between two longtime friends. It was, Anora had to admit, a situation that she was not particularly accustomed to. Cailan was the one who happily entertained others for hours on end, the one who brought about conversation and laughter. Anora was the one who already was known as serious, severe, domineering. This reputation rarely bothered her- it was a good reputation for a future queen to have.

But simply being a woman chatting amicably with pleasant company was nice, too.

“Tired yet?” Sirena asked eventually. She gave Anora a look that was half-joking, half-sincere. “You can tell me to leave whenever I start to get annoying. Believe me, you wouldn’t be the first to kick me out of a room.”

“No, no, stay,” Anora assured her. “If you begin to annoy me, I will certainly let you know.” She giggled- an effect of the drink, of course, for under normal circumstances Anora was most certainly not a giggler. “Believe me, you wouldn’t be the first I’ve kicked out of a room. I’m not exactly known for my gentle disposition, am I?”

“Oh, please,” Sirena said, rolling her eyes as she poured another glass. “Who needs a gentle disposition?”

“My thoughts exactly,” Anora agreed. “Better that they think my too hard than think they control me. I decided that a long time ago.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Sirena said, raising her cup. She was quiet for a moment then, and Anora thought she may be dozing off. But although her eyes held a distant look, they did not close, and eventually Sirena said, “Anyone who would try to control you is an idiot, by the way. You’re smarter than everyone in this castle combined. They should just…get out of your way and let you work your miracles.”

Anora smiled, surprised to feel heat rushing to her cheeks at the compliments. She blamed the drink for that, as well; she knew her own worth and was hardly unaccustomed to recognition. A simple compliment from Sirena Cousland shouldn’t have such an effect on its own. She looked away, hoping the redness in her face wasn’t obvious to the other woman. “Thank you.”

“And you’re going to make a marvelous queen!” Sirena continued. “Ferelden is lucky to have you. I mean that, truly. Nobody else could do a better job.”

“Well, I should hope not,” Anora said. “I have been preparing for this my entire life, you know.” She sighed, tilting her head back as she thought of all the work she had put forth, and all that lay ahead of her.

Lost in her thoughts, she almost missed the next words spoken quietly by Sirena. “Cailan is lucky, too.”

Anora blinked, startled by the apparent change in subject. Recovering quickly, she gave a thin smile. “Ah, yes. I’m certain he’s thanking the stars that he will have someone to handle the details of his future rule. He’s wonderful with people, of course, but try to talk to him about economics or resource distribution and he’s completely lost.”

“That’s true enough,” Sirena agreed, pushing back a long lock of hair from her face. “Although I did mean something more along the lines of…” She paused, and seemed to fumble for words for a moment. “He’s lucky to be marrying someone he’s actually fond of.”

“Oh.” Anora wanted to say more, but she didn’t quite know how to respond to that. It felt such an odd subject to bring up- but her wedding was tomorrow, after all. Perhaps it was a natural point of conversation, after all.

“Not to pry, of course,” Sirena said quickly, noticing Anora’s hesitation. She paused, chewing on her lip for short moment as she regarded Anora with curious, measuring eyes. “I mean, you are fond of each other, aren’t you?”

“Of course,” Anora said at once. Realizing her reply came a tad too quickly, she sighed and leaned back against the wall, resting her head against the cool stone. “I’m certain you’ve heard me complain about him, and he can be quite the fool at times. But he has his talents, and he loves Ferelden, and he knows better than to try and order me about. We make a good team, he and I. We know each other, our strengths and weaknesses. As far as arrangements go, it could have been far worse.”

Sirena nodded, turning over Anora’s words in silence. She shifted her position until she, too, was leaning against the wall, close enough that their shoulders brushed against each other. “Do you think you could grow to love him at all?”

This time, the question did not take Anora by surprise; in fact, it was something she had often asked herself. “I don’t know,” she said truthfully. “But I hardly think that’s the most important thing in marriage. Especially between rulers.”

That earned her a chuckle from Sirena. “You’ve always been a pragmatic one.” Anora frowned, and Sirena gave her an apologetic smile before she playfully bumped her shoulder with her own. “And right, of course, I know you are. I only hope I’m that lucky if I ever get married.”

Anora was so relieved by the lack of judgement from Sirena that she nearly missed the implication in her words. Almost. Her brow furrowed, and she gave Sirena a questioning look. “If? Certainly you have your pick of suitors.” It only made sense- the Couslands were a family of wealth and renown, and Sirena herself was certainly not lacking in beauty. More than that, she was intelligent and skilled with a blade and easy to speak with; any lord would be lucky to win her hand.

But Sirena only shrugged, a playfully crooked smile on her lips. “Oh, there are plenty of men sniffing around for a chance at marrying into the Couslands. Some are even somewhat tolerable. But…”

“But none quite meet your standards?” Anora finished. Her tone was teasing, but she knew the feeling well enough. After all, if she hadn’t been promised to the future king at such a young age, she would probably have found herself in a very similar situation.

“They’re fine enough. Fine enough for flirting and dancing with at parties. But fine enough isn’t something I went to settle for in the long run.” Sirena sighed and looked down, tracing her finger around the rim of her glass. “It’s just that I grew up watching my parents, never realizing what a rare thing they had. They’re so in love that people have written songs about them. That sort of thing doesn’t happen often. Not when marriage is something for duty and politics and…”

“And pragmatism?” Anora asked pointedly, and Sirena gave her another apologetic grin.

“No offense. Like I said, you have the right of it. Eventually I shall likely choose someone, and I’m sure it won’t be as bad as I’m making it out to be. I know my parents would never marry me off to someone I dislike.” Her eyes flicked up to Anora’s face. “I just don’t think the odds of marrying for love are very high.”

Sirena’s voice was low and sorrowful, a startling change from her usual light tone. Without thinking, Anora reached out and put her hand over Sirena’s. “You never know. The future may surprise you.”

Sirena seemed startled at the contact, and Anora wondered for a moment if she was being too forward. But she didn’t pull away, and neither did Sirena- in fact, the other woman shifted her fingers, securing the grip. They stayed that way for a long moment, until at last Sirena recovered herself enough to straighten her shoulders and give Anora a bright smile. “I don’t know about that. But we’ll see.”

Something unfinished still lingered in her words, but for now she at least seemed comforted by Anora’s presence. Anora knew she wasn’t the most comforting sort of person, even at the best of times, but she was happy that she seemed to be doing some good. She gave a firm nod and continued, “And should you never get married, you would be just as well off. If I had been born to royalty on my own, well…as I said, Cailan and I make a good team. But he needs me far more than I need him.” Anora felt a small twinge of guilt saying that out loud, but it was true, and they both knew it, and saying it made Sirena laugh.

“You’ll hear no dispute from me,” she said. “In any case, I have far more exciting things to look forward to than marriage.” She stopped suddenly, and closed her eyes in apparent embarrassment. “Which is probably not what I should say to someone about to get married, is it? We’re supposed to be celebrating you, and I’ve gone and turned it bleak!”

“Oh, please,” Anora said with a laugh of her own. “I believe I’ve made my position on the whole situation rather clear. And I’m interested in hearing more of these grand plans of yours.”

Sirena still looked sheepish, but she obliged. “Well, Fergus will inherit rule of Highever. First-born gets all the perks. But I’ll still be around to assist. I’ll likely take command of our troops.” A small smile crept onto her face. “That’s something I’d be good at. I’d have them all whipped into shape in no time.”

“And if a lord swept you off your feet, you’d have an entire arling of your own to whip into shape. Troops and all,” Anora pointed out. Sirena looked unconvinced, and on impulse Anora added, “Or you could always come here to Denerim. Become a staple of the court. We certainly have plenty of troops that need the help. And I wouldn’t mind having a…”

Anora stumbled over the word friend. Even under the influence of the drink, it was difficult to let something like that slip out so easily. Anora was not accustomed to having friends. She had Cailan, of course; she had her father; she had servants and fellow nobles whom she trusted to varying degrees. But her friendship with Sirena was something different from any of that.

“…a confidante,” she said finally, hoping Sirena hadn’t noticed her momentary conflict. She glanced at the woman from the corner of her eyes, and was satisfied to see that she looked pleased at the notion.

“A tempting offer, I admit,” Sirena said. A smirk played on her lips. “What would my duties as a confidante entail?”

That smirk made Anora oddly flustered, and she had to glance away before she could respond. “Oh…this sort of thing, really. Keeping me company. Listening to me complain. Suppling me with alcohol.” She smiled and raised her empty glass in the air as an example. “You’re doing a splendid job already.”

“And those are just a few of many talents,” Sirena laughed. “I’m honored by the offer. I’m sure there must be fierce competition.”

“Oh, certainly,” Anora agreed. “But most of the other competitors care less about me and more about the power I will wield. They simply want to be close to the Queen.” She grimaced. “Or the King. It’s difficult enough to reign him in without my own companions making eyes at him.”

“Their loss,” Sirena said definitively. “All of them. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend, and as…well, Cailan is an idiot and a fool if he even looks at another woman when he has you.”

Maker, Anora could feel herself blushing. She straightened her shoulders, trying desperately not to show her sudden nerves. “I admit, it’s a pleasant change of pace for someone to rush to my defense like this. I certainly tell Cailan the same often enough. Honestly, I would hardly mind if he could at least be discreet about it. But he never thinks of things in such a way. And it certainly doesn’t help that he’s found so many who are ever so eager to indulge him. I’d be thankful to have at least one woman around who’s not chasing after him.”

It was a jest, but the possibility was a heavy weight in Anora’s chest, and she would be lying if she said it didn’t lighten when Sirena wrinkled her nose in obvious distaste. “Cailan? Maker, no.” Her expression faded into something more contemplative as she looked at Anora. “If I’m to be honest…I was always chasing after someone else.”

That was unexpected- it took Anora a moment to process her words. That same heaviness was back, which made no sense; why should she care if Sirena was holding a torch for someone after all, so long as it was not Cailan? “That’s an unexpected revelation if I’ve ever heard one. What happened to never finding love?”

“Ah. That.” Sirena looked abashed and quickly shook her head. “It would never have worked out. Not with me. They’ve got other things in their life. Other people.”

“Not married, are they?” Anora inquired. She didn’t know why she was still pressing. She didn’t want to know about this person, didn’t want to know who it was Sirena was pining after. But she couldn’t stop the questions from coming.

Sirena was quiet for a moment, although her dark eyes never left Anora’s face. “Engaged, actually.”

Anora’s breath caught, and when she spoke the words were soft and quiet. “Engaged?”

“But only for one more night.”

There was soft moment of realization, a quiet oh in the back of Anora’s mind, and before she could think better of it she whispered, “Then you still have time.”

And suddenly Sirena was kissing her. It was soft at first, uncertain, her lips barely hovering against Anora’s, but as Anora leaned in she became more confident and soon enough the kiss had deepened. Sirena brought a hand to Anora’s face, gently caressing her cheek, and Anora threaded her fingers through Sirena’s long hair as she pulled her even closer. It was like nothing Anora had ever experienced; this was no polite show of carefully cultured affection, no hesitant testing of what was expected of her. This was passionate and earnest and real.

Anora wanted more. She wanted to pull Sirena to her bed, to get even closer, to explore every inch of her body, to completely and utterly forget about everything else in the world-

And then it was over. Anora’s eyes fluttered open, and she realized Sirena and was hastily rising from the floor, muttering hurried, half-formed apologies. “I’m sorry- that was stupid of me- I didn’t intend-and tomorrow you’re-Maker, I’m sorry-”

Anora hurriedly stood as well, reaching out for Sirena as the woman was turning for the door. Her fingers brushed Sirena’s wrist, and although the touch was light Sirena froze in place.

“Sirena, I…”

Anora faltered. She was accustomed to knowing what to say. Knowing exactly what she wanted, and how to get it. But now…now she had no idea. She wanted to be the Queen Ferelden needed. She wanted to follow through on the promises she’d made. She wanted Sirena to stay. She wanted too many things, and those desire could not exist in the same space.

She couldn’t hold on to everything. And that wasn’t fair, not to her or Sirena. But it was the way things were.

“I’m sorry, too,” Anora whispered as she pulled back her hand. As she let Sirena go.

Sirena closed her eyes for moment, then nodded and left the room without another word. Anora numbly reached for the bottle she’d left behind and drained what little remained, trying to chase away the taste of Sirena’s lips. Then she went to bed, and once again she did not sleep.

Sirena almost didn’t show her face the next day.

But if she hid out all day she’d eventually have to explain why. So the next morning she dragged herself out of bed, threw cold water on her face, donned her formal attire, and watched Anora get married.

The ceremony passed in a blur, with the songs of the Chant and the words of endless speeches lulling the day into a hazy rhythm. The only moment that stood out was when Anora entered the Chantry. She walked in with her head held high, the picture of beauty and confidence draped in gold and ivory-white. Just looking at her sent a piercing pain through Sirena’s chest.

She was being ridiculous. Childish. Selfish. Sirena cared about Anora, and she knew this was what she wanted, and she had no right to the longing and jealously that burned through her.

What had she been thinking last night? She’d done so well all these years, fighting back those feelings, telling herself it was a passing crush…and then last night it had all come crashing out. Maybe it was Anora’s suggestion to come to Denerim. The idea of seeing her every day, of being so close to her…all while she was married to Cailan.

Sirena wasn’t capable of such cruelty towards herself. But oh, she’d been tempted.

At least the slip in her defenses hadn’t ruined Anora’s wedding. She was still here, betraying not a single doubt or worry as she recited her vows with clarity before the Maker.

And that was a good thing, Sirena told herself throughout the ceremony. The only thing worse than Anora rejecting her advances would be Anora risking everything she had and everything she wanted over her. That was what Sirena told herself during procession back to the palace. That was what she told herself in the reception held in the ballroom for the new husband and wife, when drinks were had in honor of the happy new couple.

Someone thrust a glass of wine in her hand, and Sirena realized with a start she was being called upon to make a toast. She wavered for a moment, looking across the room and meeting Anora eye to eye.

For the first time that day, Sirena thought she caught a hint of something mournful through Anora’s well-practiced mask of assured certainty. She remembered Anora’s lips against hers, wanting, drawing her in closer. She remembered Anora’s hand on her wrist, silently pleading for something she couldn’t voice. She remembered those whispered words. I am sorry.

Sirena raised a glass and gave the room a smile, big and bright, just what they expected from the ostentatious Cousland girl. “To the bride and groom,” she said, her eyes never leaving Anora’s. “To your bright future. I know you will do amazing things for Ferelden, and it is my truest hope that this life brings you every happiness.”

Anora smiled at her- a small, sad smile that that spoke volumes more than any speech and utterly broke Sirena’s heart. It was there and gone in an instant, wiped away as the next person stood to make their toast. But every now and then her gaze would return to Sirena, and that smile would come back. Never for long. Never noticed by anybody else. But Sirena saw it, and she knew she would never forget it as long as she lived.

[lunawings]

King of Prism SSS Episode 6 commentary (Minato)

The final episode of Part 2!

This was originally my favorite of the three episodes we are shown in the theatrical “Part 2″. But it was also the one I was most awake for at the time haha. Nowadays I think Joji’s is probably my favorite of the Part 2 episodes, but this one still has a very, very special place in my heart......... AS BIG AS THE OCEAN.......... 

And right off the bat we’re referencing the hidden curry subplot in Pride the Hero. Well, maybe it was obvious to some people, but I definitely wouldn’t have fully known about this subplot without reading about it. Basically early on in Pride the Hero there is a scene where Hiro casually refuses to eat Minato’s curry. Minato can be seen working on his recipe during the movie, but in the end it’s Kouji’s honey/apple curry recipe which gets Hiro back on his feet. Minato sees this as a failure on his part. 

If there is ever a scene where anyone is crying (there will be a few more examples of this before the end of SSS) take a look at Leo. If anyone else is crying, it’s basically guaranteed that Leo is also crying too. He doesn’t even know why Minato is crying here!!! LeoooooOOO..............

Everyone always cheers for Taiga here! Good job.

Okay, according to the Part 2 pamphlet, from left to right...

Misaki, Nagisa, Gen, Kou, Shiho. 

They all have sort of marine-related names. (cape, shore, broadside of a ship, sailing, saltwater...)

And these two we already met in Young of Prism. 

(Ushio means tide, Tsubasa means wing....)

I really love the voice work on Shiho here. She really sounds so natural. So cute. Favorite Minato sibling.

I know I said Yukinojo’s grandpa was best King of Prism old man, but I’m not sure anymore. Minato’s grandpa is also in the running ahah. I love his intense drama and yet down to typical old man-ness at the same time. HAVE A FISH.

OVER RAIN

Okay this one is forgivable because he says their abbreviated name “O-Ba-Re” which I always struggle to translate. Usually I just spell it all out or put OtR.

It was established in this episode that Minato can taste when something has been made with love. 

This means that Yamada-san’s ramen noodles were clearly MADE WITH LOVE at least.

I think at one point I posted a shitty out of context spoiler about the DARK HISTORY of Edel Rose. Here you go ahah. 

The cheering audience loves Yukinojo’s reaction here. Everyone be like.... nu nu nu nu nu nu..............

This is the only time I know Taiga has been associated with soba except for when they just kind of decided to make it his food item on Prism Rush........ (because I guess pudding a la mode wasn’t a thing back then..............) 

Minato’s reaction is notably a bit more low key than the other boys during Kakeru’s turn.

Kakeru’s catering WASNT MADE WITH LOVE 

Every time I see this I think to myself that I have got to figure out where this is and go there. But I haven’t yet. 

Shizuoka isn’t that far from me and I go there every few months or so for Love Live stuff or to visit Shizuoka Prism Stone, etc. A few days before Part 2 premiered I was actually in Shizuoka and actually spent a good amount of time thinking of things I might see from Shizuoka in Minato’s episode. I was at a tourist attraction (Izu-Mito Sea Paradise) where I went to the snack bar and noticed they had Mishima croquettes. It was the first time I had heard of them. But I decided on something else instead. 

So every time I see this, I think......... should have got the croquette....... 

(and now I must live with the regret.............. forever......................) 

I talk a lot about how this or that is art in SSS. 

But Minato meeting Kouji REALLY IS ART 

In the stream someone called this a “prismgasm” and now I can’t get that out of my head thanks.................................

I love how Minato is not the first, but SECOND Edel Rose boy just entered into Edel Rose against his will by a family member ahaah. (After Taiga by his sister.) 

Okay so, let’s pause for a minute. 

As you can see here this is a senior high school application. So this means Minato was never in the junior high division of Kakyouin Academy and went straight to senior high. 

If we rewind back to Kakeru’s episode, you’ll remember that there was a flashback where Yukinojo met Kakeru back in the heyday of Edel Rose, and they were both wearing junior high uniforms. So this means that a.) The first member of the seven to enter Edel Rose was probably Yukinojo and b.) Kakeru and Yukinojo are the two who have known each other the longest. 

I don’t think you can make an exact timeline of who joined when, but it’s possible to piece together a rough estimate of the order everyone joined by the end of SSS.

So this actually destroys my headcanon that the reason Minato calls Kakeru “Kazuo” is because they have known each other the longest and he knew him before he was Kakeru. So now I don’t know what to think about that anymore ahah. 

Anyway Minato why are you taking the Shinkansen to Tokyo. It’s only like 3 hours from Shizuoka!!! That is insanely close (...... from my perspective...............) what a waste of money haha. 

Favorite Minato face of all time by far. 

Oh gosh this scene. This scene. Where do I even begin. I love, LOVED seeing this side of Minato. He’s always everyone’s rock (excuse me harbor) so it’s really mindblowing to actually see him all nervous and flustered and just oh gosh it made me love him so much more. 

And not to mention Kouji just dragging a boy he’s known for three seconds to eat a children’s lunch......

Everyone goes nuts for this at cheering and agrees they still want to eat this kind of lunch as an adult. I guess I don’t quite understand because I was never a child in Japan haha. But this was the only moment at the mostly quiet 8am showing (when I saw it for the first time) where I could hear people laughing/freaking out.

I have mentioned this already but I just have to say I really love this line. This moment. This whole concept. Minato can taste love. 

I didn’t think it was noticeable from Young of Prism, but when we actually met all of Minato’s siblings and saw that Tsubasa is basically the only one who doesn’t have a marine color scheme or a directly marine-related name.... Even before this scene in the back of my head I was like..... hm...... 

The least they could have done was given her a marine-themed name geez

I had to go back and slightly change some wording in my Young of Prism translation because of this reveal.

I WAS REALLY EXCITED WHEN I SAW THIS, AND THEN ACTUALLY DISAPPOINTED WHEN KOUJI CAME

I WANTED TO SEE SHIN’S COOKING

SHIN BABY WHAT WERE YOU GONNA COOK

Also his face

It’s not “a” new dorm, he’s probably talking about the new dorm that the new boys still live in (but our seven moved back here by choice in episode 1 remember........)

This is another scene where I’m kinda wondering if this plot thread seems sudden or out of place to people who don’t know the side materials. 

Minato’s confidence issues have come up on Prism Rush several times before, and I was actually waiting the entire episode for it to come up here. 

This episode in particular really requires a lot of extracurricular homework doesn’t it....

I believe this is mistranslated. He used ~すら which I think should be “All I could do is watch......” JLPT N1 textbook grammar Minato why......

The least they could do would be to leave a note that says “Minato” means “harbor” but that’s TOO MUCH TIME I GUESS GOTTA GET THOSE EPISODES OUT IN AN HOUR CHOP CHOP

I really like this speech. It’s shockingly down to earth and refreshing. Especially compared to Kakeru and Yukinojo’s episodes. 

Like the other members of the old dudes club, Minato’s family has a tradition too. But Minato is not particularly expected to carry on that tradition since his family realizes it’s no longer viable 

Instead they encourage Minato to enjoy his youth, find himself, and if he doesn’t become a star that’s OK.... of course he can come home anytime. 

Nrrrgggghhaaaaaa such good supportive parents ahhhhhhh

Been waiting a couple months to read this. In the theater all I can ever catch is Shin’s message. (But still the point comes across.) 

“Well that was fast” - the cheering audience (about the sunrise, ruining this beautiful scene lol)

THIS.... SHOW.........

So, a while back I casually mentioned that Kakeru and Taiga’s prism shows were in my top three. Nobody ever asked what the third one was. But. It was this one. I LOVE this show.

From the very moment Minato looks up at the camera here I just get goosebumps from head to toe, and it just stays throughout the entire show. No other prism show has ever made me feel quite this way. 

So towards the end of the Prism Rush Main Story, there is a chapter where the boys are talking about what they want to accomplish in the Prism King Cup. (This is before they know who will be in it.) Minato has a line where he talks about wanting to perform a show like warm soup or something, and as soon as I saw this show I just immediately remembered that line and thought THATS IT. 

THAT’S IT

ITS SOUP 

Even though there are so many cool colors, somehow, it just makes me feel so.... warm. 

Although it didn’t stay for as aggressively long as Joji’s did, this was the first song from Part 2 which got stuck in my head and it’s just... it’s so nice........

Also, even though I have complained about Minato always getting stuck in chef uniforms for his performance outfits I do kinda like this one. It’s the floating jellyfish scarf thing at the back that makes it I think. (I have no idea how else to describe that.) 

I hope he gets a sailor suit next time though eheh. (I like how Minato has a marine theme now too, not just food. Well, he probably always did but it’s more prominent now.)

So Minato technically lost to Joji, but the individual match-ups mean nothing in the long run. (Except for you know..... the last one...... when it’s down to the wire and each side has put up their strongest member...............if you remember who that match-up is--)

It may not be obvious at first, but Minato’s prism show was pretty low leveled compared to the other boys. 

(He did start doing prism shows later than most of them after all... Um Shin being a special case.) 

He only did two jumps and they weren’t even connected. So that being considered, this score is pretty amazing for him. It makes me think the Shuffle members must only be doing like one jump per show to be scoring in the 7000s geez. 

And thus the curry plot goes full circle. Minato, good for you. 

Thus ends what I know as the Part 2 episodes, and also the halfway mark of the series. (There are 12 episodes in all.) Ready or not, on to Part 3.

I really like and have been looking forward to the Part 3 episodes. I think they are a little better than Part 2, but maybe not quite as good as Part 1. I also think Part 3 is possibly the most heart-wrenching collection.... Leo’s episode in particular, which is coming up next week, I have a very strong and personal reaction to. That combined with feeling the need to point out all the PriPara references may mean my post for next week may take some extra time and be frighteningly long ahah..... ha....... 

[kpopfromtheblock]

a/n ⇾ to be honest with you all, this isn’t my best work but i’m posting it anyways because it took me forever to write and i know there are a few readers who were waiting for this installment… although it’s not my favorite, i hope you still enjoy it! friendly reminder: if you click the title, it will take you to the series masterlist <3 thanks for reading! 

LIFE WITH BANGTAN | ot7

004

genre ⇾ comedy (bts crack? i guess) + fluff

pairing ⇾ bts x fem reader

summary ⇾ you’re not great at cooking but you’re not the worst either and one night you have the brilliant idea to cook for the boys… unfortunately for you, some of them are not impressed by your cooking skills.

warning ⇾ the usual: swearing, a lil’ dash of cringy-ness, idfk… it’s shit show.

words ⇾ 4,9k 

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“Fuck!” You mumble to yourself as one of four pots on the stove begin to boil over in front of you. You rush to turn the heat down in order to stop the water from spilling out and onto the floor. 

You’ve already made a mess of the kitchen… Run-away vegetables scattered across the counters, sauces splattered on the tiled floor and kitchen mats… 

Jin is going to kill you when he sees the state of his kitchen but you don’t really have time to worry about it. You have very crucial task at hand: Cook dinner for seven very hungry men. 

You lift your arm up and use the sleeve of the oversized hoodie you’re wearing, that previously belonged to Jimin, to wipe the sweat off your forehead.

‘Do people normally sweat this much when they cook?’ You sigh heavily before picking up the large knife, which you’re sure is not meant for chopping veggies, off the counter. 

You begin cutting up the remainder of carrots you have laying on a wooden cutting board. 

When you’re done, you stand there for a few minutes and stare at the orange vegetable in disbelief... “This doesn’t look right.” You say out loud as you drop the knife and grab your iPad that was propped up against a container of sugar. 

You are trying to follow a recipe that your Mother so kindly sent to you via email. She was so thorough that she even included pictures of what the food was supposed to look like before, during and after. 

Though you were a bit thrown off by the length of the email, you weren’t in the least bit surprised… You expected nothing less from your Mom, as she is the head chef and partial owner (alongside your Father) of a well-known restaurant back in your hometown…  Her line of work kind of requires her to be thorough. 

The carrots in the picture your mom emailed you, look nothing like the carrots you just finished cutting.

Your carrots are cut into weird shapes. Some too big, others too small. Some are not peeled correctly, others are peeled so thinly that you could almost see-through them, where as your Mother’s carrots were cut to perfection. 

All the same circular shape and about the same thickness.

‘How did I manage to fuck up cutting carrots?’ You think. You were embarrassed with yourself.

If only Jin were in here to see you now. He’d probably laugh loudly in your face then try to repair the damage you’ve made but luckily for you, you were successful in forcing Jin and the rest of the guys into the confinement’s of Taehyung’s room.

Tae’s room was the largest in the dorm and could fit all seven members comfortably. 

It was also the furthest away from the kitchen which meant that you were able to work in peace without any of them prying over your shoulder or so you thought. 

Jin came in twice and Yoongi, once to check on you and see if you needed help… You rejected them both, determined to finish cooking all your own. 

A whole hour has passed now and you are regretting your decision to turn their help away but you have too much pride to ask for help now especially since you were the one who offered to cook in the first place…

You remember it like it was yesterday: 

After a long day of work and practice, the eight of you piled into a van to head back to the dorm for the night. You spent the day playing BTS’ personal assistant as their usual assistant (who just so happen to be your older cousin) had called out because of a family emergency. 

You were no stranger to being a P.A. for the boys as you were the one who took over when your cousin had gone on Maternity leave… Working for Big Hit was obviously how you met the idols (but thats a story for another time). 

Although Big Hit Ent has a shit ton of staff members that could have filled in, your cousin had request that you be her back up if anything happened to where she couldn’t make it into work. 

Big Hit had agreed to your cousin’s request, not only because she is a well respected senior member of BTS’ staff but also because you were exceptional at the job. 

You handled the boys’ schedules and tasks with such care and attention to detailed that the company offered to hire you full time but when things started to get serious between yourself and the guys, you turned down the position, wanting to be with them more than wanting to make money from the company. Plus being a P.A. wasn’t what you wanted to do for the rest of your life… No matter how well it paid… It wasn’t your passion.

It was a rare occasion that you got a call from Big Hit to come into the office for the day but when you did, you jump at the opportunity because it was a way for you to spend more time with your boyfriends and it was a nice little break from working in the small, very noisy and sometimes smelly Vet’s office you usually worked in… 

“Okay kids. Buckle up.” You say enthusiastically as up slip into the drivers seat and shut the door after you. 

You felt bad that either Jin, Hoseok or Jungkook would’ve had to drive home after having a full day of practice… You saw how hard they worked and you knew that without a doubt, their bodies were sore and worn out from the day so you offered to push the whip back to their dorm in order to give them some time to rest. 

Of course Jin was the only one to argue with you for five whole minutes about driving. He insisted that he wasn’t tired and maybe that was true but still… You didn’t want to hear it. 

You dismissed him and stole the van keys right out of his hand. He knew he had lost the argument once the keys were in your possession. 

Yoongi sat in the passengers side, while the others piled into the back. You finished strapping on your seat belt then went ahead to put the key in the ignition so you could start the van. 

The ride home was relaxing. 

Namjoon had fallen asleep fairly early on during the ride. He was sat beside Jin who scrolling through his phone in the very back seat. 

Hoseok was sat in the middle seat, closest to the window. His head thrown back and his lips slightly parted as his chest rose and fell softly. He was out like a light, much like Namjoon was. Jimin and Taehyung were beside him, Jimin in the middle. The two younger boys conversed amongst themselves and Yoongi was sat beside you, curled into himself against the window, snoring quietly. 

You were keeping your eyes focused on the road while the sounds of the men’ around you, kept you relaxed.

“I’m hungry.” Taehyung suddenly mentions. “Me too.” Jimin chimed in. “Do you guys want me to stop somewhere?” You asked, looking back at them through the rearview mirror. “Or Jin could make us something when we get back home?” Tae suggested, looking back at the older male with hopeful eyes. 

They really enjoy Jin’s cooking. He doesn’t cook that often for them anymore since they’ve been so busy and he hasn’t had time to cook a full meal.

Long practices and busy schedules usually mean they have to either eat out or order in… 

The boys long for a home cooked meal. 

You take a minute to glance at Jin’s face through the mirror again… You can see how tired his eyes are and you suddenly felt a bit of guilt pushing against your chest. You know he’s exhausted and to have to go home and cook a meal for the eight of you, at this time of night? It’s a bit much. 

“I can cook...” You offered. The words left your mouth before you really had time to process them in your head... 

Jin, Jimin and Tae all snap their heads over to you. 

When you don't hear any responses from them, you took a quick look up. You don't miss the way their faces twist in a mixture of amusement and confusion, before placing your eyes back on the road. “What?” You asked, genuinely puzzled by their facial expressions. 

“You’ll cook?” Tae asked, just to make sure he heard you correctly. “Yeah…” Your voice is quiet and laced with uncertainty but it was too late for you to take back your words back. “Dinner? You’ll cook dinner?” It was Jimin’s voice you heard this time. “Yes.” You said sternly. “For us?” Jin questioned you again in disbelief. “Oh my god! Yes!” You semi-shout. 

You felt a bit annoyed with them for asking you the same questions. You were just offering to cook dinner for them, not build them a boat… Why are they so pressed about it?

You look over at Yoongi to make sure you hadn’t woken him as he was the closest to you and when you saw that he hadn’t moved from his position, you continued. 

“I’ll cook dinner. For you all. Tonight. Why are you guys being so weird about it?”

“Because you never offer to cook.” Tae reminded you. 

“Thats not true! I always offer, Jin always says no.” 

“That’s because you’re not good at cooking Princess.” Jin is blunt and it kind of throws you off guard but then you realize he does have a bit of a point. You’re not the best at cooking but you have the basics down and you can make a mean pot of ramen… That counts right?

“I know how to cook.” You tried defend yourself but even you know the words sound bland leaving your lips. “Baby, putting rice in the cooker and turning it on is not cooking.” Jimin told you in a matter of fact tone. A little gasps leaves your lips at his insult. 

‘How dare he!’ You think to yourself. 

You rolled your eyes when you heard Taehyung chuckling next to Jimin.

“Mr. Jimin…” You said warningly. “Don’t you start with me. You barely know how to boil water…” You clapped back at him. Taehyung is throwing his head back whilst holding his stomach. He is laughing so hard, his shoulders are visibly shaking. He loves with you and Jimin bicker with each other. It’s the funniest thing in the world to him. 

“Out of the two of us, I am the better cook.” You said confidently. 

“My bullshit senses are tingling.” Jimin joked and you scoffed at him. 

“How about tomorrow tonight?” Jin suddenly suggests, causing both you and Jimin to cease your petty arguing.“Why not tonight? I really don’t mind.” You told them, shrugging your shoulders nonchalantly.

 Now you were determined to prove a point to Jimin. You were the better cook. You have to be… Your mom is a chef for crying out loud, knowing how to cook should be in your DNA

“Well, we’ll have to stop at a grocery store, right? To get ingredients and it’s a bit late to start cooking now so how about we go home and order something then tomorrow you can cook for us? Sound good?” Jin asked you and you nod your head in agreement. “Tomorrow it is.” You said. 

You were sure you’d be able to cook a perfectly good meal for your boyfriends. Cooking isn’t hard. You were knowledgeable about the basics and you’ve seen Jin cook plenty of times too. 

’It’ll be fine.’ You think to yourself, boy were you wrong…

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The rice cooker beeps loudly behind you. You turn away from the stove and walk over to the counter to shut the cooker off. You open the lid then take up the paddle spoon. You scoop up some of the rice and pop it in your mouth. It’s steaming hot and it almost burns your tongue but you chew with caution then swallow. You smile happily at the taste. “If all else fails, at least there’s rice.” You giggle to yourself as you think about how you should get those words printed on a t-shirt or something.. And you know Yoongi, Jin and Taehyung would agree with you because the four of you have been dubbed (by the rest of the boys), the official rice fairies since you all eat it some much.

“It smells good…” You’re startled by the sound of Jungkook’s voice. You whip your body around to see him lifting one of the pot covers. 

Were you so impressed by your rice cooking skills that you didn’t notice him slide into the kitchen behind you. “Jungkook!” You slap his hand and he drops the pot lid, it falls perfectly back into place. “Get your ass out of here!” You say sternly. You put your hand on his shoulder and begin to push him away from the stove. 

You’re strong but not as strong as him and your small hand is no match for his large shoulder. When you push him, he barely moves an inch. 

“But I’m hungry~” Jungkook whines and you can’t fight the smile that forms on your lips at the cute way he drags his words. 

“And Namjoon won’t let me eat any of my snacks… He says it’ll ruin my dinner.” Jungkook complains as he turns he’s body around to face you. His tall frame towers over your shorter one. 

“Joon is right and I’m almost done Kookie.” You try to reassure him but the look on his face tells you that it isn’t working. 

“How much longer?” He asks as he turns his body to finally face you.

“Twenty minutes.” You say, looking up at him adoringly.

“But you said twenty minutes, when Jin came in to check on you an hour ago.” He protests and you chuckle. “Kookie…” You call sweetly as you step closer to him. You wrap your arms around his waist and press your face to his chest. Maybe a little affection and sweet talk will do the trick… “I promise I’m almost done. If I’m not finished in twenty minutes, you have permission to eat all your snacks. Okay?” You look up at him to find that he is already staring down at you. When your eyes meet his, he quickly looks away in that cute way he does when he knows he’s been caught staring. You giggle and you can see a smirk forming on his lips as he tries to avoid eye contact. He wants to be upset with you because of how long you’re taking with dinner but he can’t…

“Do we have a deal?” You ask him, keeping your eyes on his sharp jawline. 

When Jungkook realizes that you aren’t going to stop staring his glorious side profile, he looks down at you. “Fine. But please move faster. We’re all starving and I think Yoongi s going to bit off Jin’s head soon because he keeps talking.” Jungkook informs you and you nod. “Okay, okay. I’m going as fast as I can.” You tell him. You stand on your toes to peak his lips. “Now go.” You say whilst patting his butt a few times as a way to usher him out of the kitchen so you can get back to work.

Two hours pass and you’re finally done cooking. You can’t believe it’s taken you two whole hours to cook fiour dishes that you started all at the same time. It has never taken Jin this long to cook anything and that’s a dead giveaway that you’ve screwed something up… 

After you finish setting the table, you call for the boys. They youngest members come tumbling into the dinning room with the older ones following closely behind. “Wow~” Jimin and Jungkook say in unison as they see the meals you’ve prepared for them… It looks and smells amazing but the taste is the most important thing and you aren’t sure you’ve done such a good job in that department… You’re almost positive you haven’t.

“Look! There’s rice!” Taehyung points excitedly at the huge bowl full of steaming hot white rice. “The seaweed soup looks so delicious.” Hoseok comments and you smile at his words. “Does it?” You ask eagerly. Hobi nods at you then walks over to kiss the top of your head, lovingly. “I’m sure it’ll taste great.” he assures you. “Wow, look at the pork belly.” Namjoon has hearts in his eyes as he sees the mountain of juicy pork belly sitting on a plate. 

You are starting to feel a little bit more confident about your cooking since the reaction from your boys so far has been good but you have to keep in mind that they haven’t actually tasted anything yet.

You look over at Yoongi when you hear him chuckling from where he stands. Even though you have no idea what he’s laughing about, you smile at him. “Whats so funny?” You question. “We’re acting like we’ve never seen these kinds of foods before.” Yoongi explains and it causes the rest of the boys to laugh too. “It’s because we’re starving…” Namjoon says and you immediately feel guilty for taking so long to cook them a proper meal. 

You know they must be starving. “Well, the wait is over. Eat!” You encourage them as you take the empty seat in between Jungkook and Hoseok. 

The boys begin to fill their plates. You’re too nervous to eat, so you just sit there and watch, like a creep. “You’re not eating Angel?” Hoseok asks you as he scoops some rice into his plate. “You guys eat first.” You use your hands to urge him into adding more food to his plate. 

Jungkook uses his chopsticks to grab a piece of pork then he pops it into his mouth. You smile as he hums contently while he chews. “How is it?” You ask him, expectingly. He’s silent for a little bit while he chews but after he swallows, he smiles and gives you two thumbs up. “Really?! Two thumbs?” You exclaim and Jungkook nods his head. He begins filling his plate with more meat. “Wow, not one but two thumbs up.” You say in amazement. Receiving two thumbs up from Jungkook is big accomplishment for you. 

“Cooking pork belly is easy though.” Jimin says sourly in an attempt to tease you. You cut your eyes at him before sitting up straight in your seat, ready to give him a piece of your mind. “Listen here…” You start. “Don’t try to discredit me! Let me have this victory, okay!” You say sternly and he holds his hands up in defense, giving you a small smirk.

Park Jimin just loves to rile you up.

Hoseok goes for a piece of pork this time. He takes a few minutes to chew before his eyes widen like saucers. Your stomach drops, thinking he’s in shock because of how bad it taste but you’re wrong… “Delicious.” He tells you and now your the one with the widening eyes. “Seriously!?” You ask in disbelief and he nods. “Holy shit.” You mumble under your breath, as you sit back in your seat. You are stunned. 

Two out of seven have given you praises on your food. You can’t believe it… You thought for sure, they would’ve banned you from the kitchen after tasting one bite.

You feel proud that you managed to cook something that the boys seem to be enjoying. You were sitting high on your horse at this point but little did you know… You were about to get kicked right off… 

Whilst you are conversing with Hoseok and Namjoon, Jimin is scooping a hefty amount of seaweed soup into a bowl you provided for him. He is excited to eat it as he hasn’t had seaweed soup in a while. He was looking forward to it. 

He dips his spoon into the hot liquid then puts it up to his mouth to cool it quickly before shoving the spoon in. The soup hits his tongue and he immediately cringes at the taste. He shakes his head whilst sticking his tongue out, trying to rid his taste buds of the bitterness. 

Jimin is so distraught by the bad soup that he doesn’t notice the way Taehyung is staring at him with a concerned expression, having seen the way he reacted to your soup. 

When Jimin finally gets over the taste, he turns his head to face Tae. He has warn the younger boy about the soup… 

“What?” Tae mouths to Jimin, not wanting to bring attention to the two of them. “It’s bad.” Jimin mouths back immediately. 

If anyone were looking at them from the outside, they would think the two were communicating telepathically. 

“What’s bad?” Tae ask, his eyebrows crinkling in confusion.  

“The soup.” Jimin points at the bowl with his spoon. “The soup is bad?” Tae mouths again, slightly shocked by the news he’s hearing.

In response, Jimin just takes his spoon and dips it into his bowl, gathering the broth. He then brings the spoon up to Tae’s mouth. Tae leans forward to taste the liquid… He lets the soup swish around in his mouth before swallowing… He frowns when he realizes that the soup, is indeed very bad. “Aw..” He says sadly, feeling extremely disappointed. He too was excited about getting to eat some seaweed soup but after tasting it, he doesn’t feel the same. 

Jimin releases a chuckle at Tae’s reaction then covers his mouth quickly, hoping no one heard him. “Give some to Yoongi.” Jimin encourages Tae, wanting to see the older males reaction to the taste of your soup. 

You’re conversation with Joon and Hobi comfortably subsides when you see Jin, who is sitting at the end of the table, takes a spoon full of the seaweed soup you’ve slaved over. He pushes the spoon into his mouth and lets the warm liquid wash over his taste buds… You’re staring intently at him, after all, his reaction will be the most precious for you as he’s the cook in the house… You don’t miss the way his adam’s apple bobs as he swallows slowly, his nose scrunches up and then he clears his throat. 

This isn’t the reaction you were expecting… 

You can hear Jimin who is sitting across from you, quietly dying of laughter and Tae who is beside him, trying to stifle his own laughter… 

“Well?” You ask. He still hasn’t commented on the food but if his facial expression is anything to go by, you’re sure he’s disgusted by the taste. 

“It’s awful, isn’t it?” You want Jin to confirm what you already know is true which is that soup taste horrible and you’re the worst cook ever. Your previous confidents has gone all the way out the window now. “It’s.. Uh—” Jin starts but stops as he racks his brain for the right words to say. He doesn’t want to hurt your feelings but he can’t deny that the soup taste a bit odd. 

“It’s disgusting... You can say it.” You tell him as you pout, disappointed in yourself…

“No Princess… It’s just—” Jin begins again but is soon cut off by Yoongi’s voice. “It’s the worst seaweed soup Ive ever tasted…” He say bluntly and Jimin burst out into laughter. “It’s so bitter. There’s no flavor… It’s like you just boiled water for two hours then added the seaweed in last minute.” Yoongi’s savage confession causes you to freeze in your seat. 

You sit there dumbfounded, your mouth slightly agape… 

‘Is he really going to embarrass me like this in front of the rest of the guys?’ You internally ask yourself

Of course he is. 

“I mean did you even add sesame oil and where’s the beef?” He continues. “C’mon Kitten. This isn’t it…” He says, almost as if he’s disappointed in you. 

Jimin is laughing so hard that theres no sound coming out of his mouth. He is clutching his stomach in attempt to stop the cramping. Tae is trying to avoid eye contact in order to keep it together. He doesn’t want to laugh in your face like Jimin is doing but it’s hard not to when you are sitting there looking like a deer caught in head lights… 

“Is it really bad?” Jungkook is curious. He picks up his spoon and scoops it into the pot of soup. When he feels he has enough on his spoon, he brings it to his mouth to taste. 

He doesn’t react the way the other do. Instead, he slowly places the utensil down and turns to look at you. “Yeah~” He drags out his word. “I’m sorry baby but, it’s pretty bad.” He admits as he brings his hand up to pat your shoulder, feeling sorry for you. 

Namjoon and Hoseok are the only ones holding it together but, you’re sure they won’t last much longer.

Your face is warmer than usual… You are embarrassed beyond belief and it doesn’t stop there. 

“I mean… I wasn’t going to say anything but…” Namjoon speaks up and you snap your head over to his direction. 

‘Not him too.’ You think. 

“The rice cakes aren’t good either.” He adds. “You’ve got to be kidding me?” You’re flabbergasted. You knew that it wasn’t going to taste phenomenal but you didn’t think they would insult your cooking this badly. “Taste it.” Yoongi demands. He needs you to taste it so you can see that it’s the truth they’re telling you. Your soup sucks. 

Yoongi scoops up some of the broth and leans across the table. He holds the spoon to your lips and you open your mouth for him to feed you. 

The minute the liquid touches your tongue, you wince… Not only because it’s still hot but because it actually does taste horrible. “Oh my god.” You groan, wanting to take back the decision you’ve made to cook in the first place. “It’s so bitter.” You gag, sticking your tongue out dramatically, much like Jimin had done earlier. “So. Fucking. Bitter.” Yoongi nods his head. The room falls silent, expect for the quiet chuckling you hear every few seconds from across the table.

“This is so embarrassing.” You say more to yourself than to the men around you as you look down at your empty plate.

When you look up, all seven men have their eyes on you. The smirks on their faces are priceless… They are trying so hard not to hurt your feelings by laughing. 

“It’s okay… You can laugh.” You give them permission and they don’t even spare you for another second as they all burst into laughter. Jimin is now laughing so hard that he can’t see because his eyes are blurred with tears. 

“I can’t believe you spent two hours cooking just for it to taste this bad.” Jin says through chuckles… You don’t fight the smile that is starting to form on your face… As disappointed as you are, you can’t help but find it funny that you’ve failed so terribly. 

Plus, it’s hard not to laugh when the boys are laughing so hysterically at you. Their laughs are infectious.

“Hey!” You shout over their loud mouths. “At least we have pork belly and rice.” You remind them. “That came out okay.” You utter quietly, the embarrassment creeping it’s way back into your system.

“Yeah!” Namjoon chimes in. “Cut Baby girl some slack! She tried.” He defends you and you smile gratefully at him. “Thank you Joonie.” You say sweetly and he winks at you. 

“Okay, okay.” Jin says, trying to calm everyone else down. 

“This wasn’t a complete fail and we appreciate your efforts Princess.” He commends you. “Thank you Jinnie.” You say contently. 

“Of course Princess.” 

“So… What are we going to do with all this soup and spicy rice cakes? Because I won’t be eating it.” You ball up your napkin and throw it at Jimin’s head after he speaks.

“Shut up.” You groan and he laughs teasingly. “Leave her alone.” Tae speaks, although he is still chuckling. 

“I’m sorry okay but why did you offer to cook when you know you can’t?” Jimin raises questioning brow at you.

“I was just trying to do something nice…” You admit.

“And we appreciate it Angel.” Hoseok is sincere with his word. He grabs your hand under the table and gives it a little squeeze. The gesture makes you feel a little bit better. 

You sigh and sit up straight in your seat, finally deciding to accept your defeat. 

“Maybe I should just stick to rice and ramen…” You say out loud. “I like that idea!” The boys clap simultaneously. “Rice and ramen is a good.”  Jimin pips up and you giggle. “And pork belly too.” Jungkook adds. “The pork belly really is delicious.” He pops another piece into his mouth. 

‘Glad I did something right.’ 

You gaze at the food on the table. You’ve only made four dishes but you’ve made a lot… Literally so much. You start to feel sick looking at it.

“Seriously… What to do with this big ass pot of soup?” You ask.  

“Don’t you have someone at school you hate? A professor or something… Give it to them.” You burst into laughter at Jungkook’s suggestion. 

“Thats not nice Kookie… Why would I purposefully bring someone food that taste bad?” 

“But you can poison us just fine with this so called seaweed soup? You heartless woman.” Jimin jokes. You leap up out your seat and dash yourself around the table to attack him but he gets up before you can get to him. He runs towards his bedroom. “I’m going to kill you when I catch Park Jimin.” You yell as begin chasing him around the house. 

You are too preoccupied with trying to beat up Jimin, that you don’t notice when Jin picks up your disaster of a soup and brings back over to the stove. 

While he tries his best to save the meal you’d destroyed,  he thinks of maybe getting you some at-home cooking lesson for your birthday…

[maljean89]

Emotional Abuse

If I wrote a book on emotional abuse, would anyone read it? In today’s age of #MeToo and whiney millennials (and I definitely am a millennial), would anyone really give a fuck? Its wonderful that the door has been opened for women to come forward about their assault and abuse, but any time you bring up something traumatic that has happened to you, and its followed with the words “me too,” it minimizes what I perceive to be abuse.

“My husband threw me down the stairs.”

“I was raped at a party in college.”

My experience was purely psychological. And slow. Maybe premeditated. Maybe not. He broke things. He weaseled into my brain and made me think differently. Think like him. He made me feel less than. Made me feel broken. 

I threw valuable artifacts away. Things I would kill for now. My high school letter jacket. The Sleeping Beauty snow-globe music box my mom bought me at the Disney Store in St. Cloud. The little silver ring she gave me as a college graduation present.

I cut everyone out of my life. My best friend from high school. My close family friend who I consider my sister. My entire family. Most importantly, my mother. I was able to get the rest of them back after I left him. But mom... I only got a year with her before cancer took her away from me. 

I spent countless nights on the pullout couch. I got kicked out of the house for hours and hours on end — not allowed to spend any of our money. Not even if I spent hours with my laptop at Caribou Coffee — I had to sneak in the back door and hope no one noticed I never purchased anything. I’ll never forget the morning he kicked the end of the pullout to wake me up at 9am — “What the fuck are you still doing here? I told you to be out of the house before I woke up. I’m taking a shower and you better be gone when I get out.” I think I spent a solid 12 hours kicked out of my own apartment that day. 

I had my sexual performance ridiculed after every sex act. My blowjobs critiqued. A total play-by-play every single time. I even had him completely shove me off of him in the middle of sex once because I was doing something we had discussed I was doing wrong or something. The specifics of what I fucked up are fuzzy — the rejection is crystal clear to this day.

I was required to read 3 ESPN articles a day. It was important that I took an interest in what he was interested in and was well-read on the subject. Not giving a shit about sports, I started off skimming articles and maybe bringing them up with him. That wasn’t good enough. Then I jotted notes down on a post-it to jog my memory of the details so I could report back to him later that night. Not good enough — I was just reciting what I had written down. He explained to me that I needed to read the article — fully comprehend the article — Google things and people along the way if I didn’t know who they were — but even that wasn’t good enough after a while. “I caused” countless fights because I was a selfish bitch who would rather spend her time looking at cats on Instagram (his words). 

We’d get into fights and he’d break countless things around the house in fits of rage. The framed caricature we had done at homecoming one year, a couple remotes, countless glasses and coffee mugs, a shelf he built out of a vintage amp. Once, after breaking a coffee cup or 2, he made some big gesture with his hands and stepped toward me. I flinched out of instinct and put my hands up in defense, as if to blog a punch. “Do you really think I would hit you??!” he screamed at me. That set him off an a whole new level of rage and screaming. Next level psycho.

I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone about our problems, or even spend time with anyone else outside of work. I was invited out by my lady coworkers once to go see a theatrical production in town one night. I asked him if I could go and what ensued was a conversation that lasted for hours on end discussing how he and I would make that time up, how much money I would end up spending, if I was going to drink or not and what that would do for our joint diet. Like most things, we talked every tiny little detail to death to the point that I just caved and decided not to go because it would be easier if I just gave up. He didn’t have any friends (didn’t need any friends) so I didn’t need to have any either.

I was ridiculed for not planning enough sweet things for him, for not seeking out new recipes on my own to try for dinner, for not initiating sex. We put a cork board up on the wall and created an activity called “Work For Love.” There were 2 columns — one for me and one for him. We would then draw out of a mug 5 pieces of paper that assigned things to each other for that week. Because I was apparently so shitty at doing anything in our relationship, we had to use this assignment system so I could learn how to do things for someone else. Things like getting the other one a small gift, planning a date night, initiating sex, cooking a special meal, and the last one read “random” so you had to choose one of the previous 4 things. I failed most every week and caused countless fights because I was so selfish. It took 6 years for it to occur to me that I just flat out didn’t love him and thats why I didn’t do these things.

I would lay in bed at night, on his left side with my head on his shoulder (the exact way we had to fall asleep every night), and I would daydream myself to sleep thinking about what my apartment would look like when I was single. What I would decorate the walls with, the music I would listen to, the movies I would pick to watch, and the pizzas I would order and have all to myself. And there would be no one there to get mad at me for spending money. No one there to get inside my head and convince me that I needed to eat something healthier. No one to talk every tiny detail to death until I just caved into what he wanted.

Its horrible but I wish he would have hit me. Slapped me across the face, punched me in the jaw, thrown me down the stairs — anything. The first thing he would have done, I would have had a reason to leave. Because words and fights and everything I did wrong every single day wasn’t reason enough to end it. How was it? Everything was my fault. He didn’t do anything wrong. Ever.

It didn’t feel like abuse when I was in it. Maybe it would have if I had told someone about it. The things I’ve shared above are only the tip of the iceberg. They don’t even include all the little ways he controlled every aspect of my life. It wasn’t until I got out that I started to piece together what I went through as emotional abuse. I wasn’t until I really loved someone else with all of my heart that I realized I never loved him (my abuser). The acts of kindness come easy and constant now. I’d say “acts of kindness” are my #1 love language toward others. Ironic right? Seeing as it was the one thing that got me in the most trouble. 

My life is full of love now. So much so that I’ve been in a relationship with two people at once — a triad. It took me 28 years to realize I was bisexual. How could I have known, being in a relationship with him? I have the capability to love so fucking much that it astounds me — but yet, I couldn’t bring myself to ever fully love the man I once called “husband.”

I’ve sort of digressed from my original point, but I think I’ve painted a picture nonetheless. The more time that passes, the less I remember. I get flashes sometimes, a mild form of PTSD maybe. But I don’t think my memories will be crisp enough to ever write that book I’ve been thinking about for the past 4 years. But my anger doesn’t fade. My hatred for his stupid face stays fresh. Emotional abuse is another animal in the world of abuse I guess, but it continues to fuck with me no matter what I do.

Maybe I will write a book 🤷🏻‍♀️ Only time will tell I suppose.

[fromthedeskoftheminister]

Kaminoans are awful scientists and have horrible business sense, pass it on

Alternatively - It is possible for phenotypically and genetically female clones to have existed because Jango Fett was human and human DNA is weird enough already, the existence of the Force notwithstanding.

This is a rant about how the Kaminoans are horrible scientists, have really bad business sense, horrible ethics in general and a series of head canons about mutations in the clones.

I would like to preface this by saying that everything I know of the Kaminoans comes from both wookieepedia pages, and the rest of this is based on what I know of real world genetics, how science is actually done (trust me I’m a scientist), and a vague understanding of the Force

Known things about the Kaminoans

They’re cloners but before that they’re scientists

They have a caste system

They’re amoral scientists

They're xenophobic to the point of racism

They apparently have no issue with slavery as they clone slaves for spice mines occasionally

They're perfectionists

Before Jedi inspection (or whatever the hell you want to call Obi Wan rediscovering the facility) they culled most of the clones that did not meet standards (whatever the hell those were)

They had a fully mapped genome from Jango Fett, which means that no mutations should have occurred

They somehow managed to fix the issue of telomeres 

What This means

Ok, so I don’t actually know how much the internet knows about science but I'm going to assume nothing as I explain things.

So, as the cloning tubes were initially set up for a lot of different species’ requirements. Per the Republic order for the GAR those all had to be converted, reconfigured and cleaned from their initial species’ designation to human. The quickest way to get something of that size to happen is to get a lot of help, which in the Kaminoans case meant that it was probably reassigned to one of the lower castes. The Kaminoans also needed to have much larger quantities of whatever their substitute for amniotic fluid was. This was also something that was probably delegated to a different caste because mass producing amniotic fluid was probably not high on a scientists to do list.

Good science means that you have trials and replication. This is to ensure that any weird instances in the data are truly random occurrences and not part of a larger pattern.  Yes, you can technically argue that every clone was a replication and that every batch produced was a different trial, but that is not actually the case. The replicant thing sure, but for trials to be counted as separate trials, something in it or about it needs to be changed. The Kaminoans didn't do this. After experimenting with the Nulls and the Alpha ARC commandos they went straight into producing the rest of the CT series. Hell, they didn't even try for more than 2 trials when they were experimenting with what would make the perfect combination of genetics to create their super soldiers. That is not a good idea when faffing about with DNA, as human DNA likes to mutate. It does this randomly, and that’s normal, as most mutations are either corrected naturally or simply don’t change anything and thus are not problems.

Good science also has clear communication. The Kaminoans did not quite have that. There are two instances of this. The first is in their directive. The Kamonians had a simple directive of “Make an army of one man”. No one knows how this was determined. Was it just based on genetics? Or did the genetics not quite matter provided they all looked the same? Just because something is phenotypically (looks) the same does not mean that its genetically the same. Look into the insect (butterflies have great examples) and animal kingdoms (Dolly Varden and Bull trout are completely identical unless you look at DNA) for examples of this. Look at twins if you need an example in humanity. Twins can look exactly the same and be very different people. Twins can also look vastly different and effectively be the same person to the point of creepiness. The second instance of poor communication comes from the clones’ designations. When doing science, labels are important. They tend to designate several things from the trial number, the trial type, the actual sample number and occasionally the date depending on the experiment. For the clones this means that their designation should reflect the type of clone, their batch number and then their number within their batch. While this is done to some extent, as seen as the differences in the numbers of the ARCs, the CC clones and the CT clones it is not consistent and does not actually tell us anything about the clones nor the order they were decanted.

Good science also means that you don’t discard data. Outliers are noted and included in the final presentation of the data. They are included in a results section. More often than not the anomalies are not discussed unless the scientists potentially have an explanation for said anomaly. But my point is that they are still there and not swept under the rug. Instead they are studied. More often than not, an anomaly in the data is the lead for someone else’s project. In other words if you're basing your standards off of a genetic match, then anomalies would have been allowed to grow to completion as they were interesting but irrelevant. It also might have allowed the Kaminoans to identify any potential harmful mutations that could possibly appear in normal clones. Instead the Kaminoans chose to cull (kill) them because they didn't fit their standards.

The Kaminoans also have horrible horrible business sense. Do you know how much money it takes to clone a person? Its a lot of money. Right now, IRL it takes about $20,000 USD to clone a cow. In June of 2001 Forbes estimated that it would cost about $1.7 million USD to clone a person. Adjusting for inflation that would be over $2.3 million USD today. I know that we’re dealing with a fictional universe here but can you tell me that you think cloning would have gotten any less expensive over time? If thats how an entire species supports itself the answer is probably not. And so what do they do with defective clones? Canonically the Kaminoans kill them. Which makes no sense given how much money it theoretically takes to produce a clone. Even if the Kaminoans are only being payed for every “perfect” clone they produce, having a “defective” clone is still a waste of resources on their part. They could have simply trained the clones in administrative or maintenance work as they did once the Jedi “found” Kamino again. Hell, slavery is already a problem in the Star Wars verse, and the Kaminoans already cloned slaves, so for them selling defective clones would be a reasonable way to recoup some of their financial losses. 

What does this have to do with mutations in the clones and the ideas of genetically and phenotypically female clones? 

Everything. It was a well known fact among the cloners of the galaxy that cloning Force Sensitive beings was a bad idea. This was due to the fact that those particular type of clones ended up being highly unstable. Kaminoan society also disliked the idea of Force Sensitives. Their distaste was so severe that the one historically recorded member who was Force Sensitive was made outcast once she started displaying her Sensitivity despite her high caste birth. The Kaminoans also regularly killed off green eyed offspring due to the fear that they posed a threat to their well ordered society which suggests that green eyed Kaminoans may have been naturally Force Sensitive. This also means that they had no real idea of how the Force would have effected the cloning processes. The Jedi confirm that all of the clones were individuals within the Force. The Force also has a habit of messing with physical/genetic things (see Anakin’s entire existence), so it stands to reason that the Force caused some measure of mutation in the clones. 

Theres also the problem of human DNA being weird. As I mentioned earlier human DNA likes to mutate and mutate a lot. Most of the mutations are benign and are corrected by ones own DNA. Others simply don’t change anything and thus do not show up in physical characteristics at all. Which means a clone may not look like a mutant if the Kaminoans are just judging based on appearance, but is definitely a mutant based on genetics. Some physical traits in humans are controlled by multiple genes and we still dont quite know how to change them from one thing to another. This includes things like height, hair color, eye color, body type and numerous other traits. Depending on what standards the Kaminoans were attempting to meet, any of these benign mutations could have been enough to make the Kaminoans call them defective. 

Some other mutations are not quite so simple. There are random mutations at different stages that can cause mirrored organs or others that affect the sex chromosomes. Depending on when in development these mutations occur, you can occasionally end up with genetically male but phenotypically female clones through things like Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome or Swyer Syndrome, or even genetically and phenotypically female clones through Turner syndrome or identical twins where one has Turner syndrome (effectively creating different sex identical twins).

Initially, the mutations were probably attributed to screw ups due with the mechanical systems as most of the scientist kamonians would have considered that work beneath them and reassigned it to one of the other castes.  Alternatively this would have also been attributed to mistakes made in the amniotic fluid. As mentioned earlier mass producing amniotic fluid could have been easily handled by another caste. Just hand them a recipe and hope that they do not screw up. Either way, the Scientist Kaminoans would have declared themselves to not be at fault because their science is perfect. Which its really really not. Either way once the Kaminoans realized that the mutations were not actually random and that there might have been a pattern, occasional “defective” clones were probably allowed to survive provided that they managed to meet the Cuy’vul Dar’s military standards, and remained available for further study upon reaching “adulthood”.

In conclusion the Kaminoans practiced horrible science, had really bad business sense and there were probably phenotypically female clones, if not phenotypically and genetically female clones, running around with the trans female clones and the rest of the vode during the Clone Wars.

[insidiousflame]

1/11/22

The sushi dinner with Maya and Evie went well. We had a nice time catching up and spent two hours at the restaurant. Most of it just chatting. We gave each other our gifts beforehand and the sushi was pretty good. The only thing I did notice that was weird for me was that I noticed how on edge I was. Or how much I felt the need to put on as nice a front as possible. Rather than just being relaxed, I kept actively telling myself to look engaged, come up with topics for discussion, am i smiling too much? Am I being too loud? And I didn't want to say anything too negative either. Like I said in my previous post, I couldn't fully relax. But that's because I care a lot about how they perceive me. I wish I didn't. I wish I could relax but...I guess I can't because I feel like being completely myself in the past has bit me in the ass. And they have proven to not truly understand me in my vulnerability. I forgot to give Maya her SD card AGAIN. So I'm gonna have to give it back at some point. They asked me if I was going to holmat next year and I was like "i dont even know...Depends how things go this year I guess." I have no idea where I'm gonna land by then. Am I going to stop doing idol stuff? What reason do I have to go to conventions if I'm not performing, cosplaying and/or hanging out with friends? Panels don't really interest me and the merch hall is only entertaining for a couple hours. I'm still unsure where our friendship is even at and how hotel accommodations would be. If they would still want to include me. I'm not sure following them around for their idol activities would be enjoyable. In other news, the rest of my closing shifts were taken this week and I was able to snag a mid shift in place of those hours. And I'm glad because apparently TL Cheeks is going to replace Alex as a closing Lead. And I fucking hate her. The way she treats us and throws us under the bus saying we don't ever do shit is straight up insulting and absolute bullshit and I made sure Alex knew before I left. I will tell anyone I need to so I can avoid closing with her because I tell you what I will NOT be tolerating that crap. I STILL haven't gotten my OG song video yet and I'm officially pissed about it. I'm giving her the rest of this week before I'm asking for some kind of refund/compensation for this absolute negligence. Especially since I paid in FULL. There's only so many excuses you can make and you are well past them. Couldn't even make the new deadline I asked for. I also haven't heard anything on the instrumental I'm commissioning that I ORIGINALLY wanted to do as a birthday video. But. lol. I bet that isn't anywhere near finished either. I've attempted to diet by restricting my calories under 1200 and I lasted about a week. The only weight I lost was all water weight and it's already creeping back up after one hefty meal day. And my app told me I wouldn't reach me goal until right before my birthday and bitch I just can't keep that up for that long. It's too much and I'm putting stress on my body. I know if I just replaced my meals with healthy alternatives instead of straight carbs and sodium I would lose weight a LOT faster and effectively. But that requires a whole new level of planning, effort and willpower on my end. I don't like having to restrict what I can eat. Thats why i would rather restrict my calories. But that's not working for me either. I hardly know what I want to eat as it is...so coming up with healthy meals that will satiate me is super challenging. I'd basically have to fill up on straight vegetables the majority of the time which...cmon. Who wouldn't get absolutely sick of that and crave everything. There would be a lot of grocery shopping, cooking recipes that end up failing, trial and error. But I really...really don't like my body and i hate looking at it. I feel so defeated honestly. I want to like what I see. :( Or at least be okay with it rather than grimacing every time i see myself.

[patriotsnet]

Why Do Republicans Stand With Trump

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/why-do-republicans-stand-with-trump/

Why Do Republicans Stand With Trump

Beneath The Hood Of Trump’s Support Base

Why Are Republicans Still So Afraid Of Trump? | The 11th Hour | MSNBC

Trump’s victory in 2016 came on the back of a surge in voter turnout among white Americans without a college degree, a group he won by better than a 2-1 margin over Democrat Hillary Clinton. Trump won 6.5 million more voters over the age of 45, despite losing the national popular vote by almost three million.

But that “demographic blowback” which saw some older Americans cast a vote for the first time since Ronald Reagan was on the ballot, was never a long-term strategy they are literally dying off.

But they aren’t dead yet, and neither is Trump’s support base.

AP: Julio Cortez

A CNBC poll last week found 89 per cent of voters without a college degree and 74 per cent of Republicans want Trump to stay active in politics in some way. Almost half of Republicans want Trump to remain head of their party, while 11 per cent want him to break away and start his own party. It’s that final figure that probably worries Republicans more than any other.

Trump has already flirted with the idea of starting his own “Patriot Party” to rival both Republicans and Democrats, and provide a vehicle for a potential third presidential campaign in 2024.

The only time a former president tried to return to office under the banner of a new party, Theodore Roosevelt in 1912, he consigned his former Republican Party to a distant third place.

Republican Voters Arent Clamoring For Changes

It might seem odd that were only now turning our attention to Republican voters, who may seem like the most important factor in keeping the party from shifting gears. Im not so sure. We have a lot of evidence that voters tend to follow the cues of political elites . In other words, I suspect that if GOP elites, from national elected leaders to Fox News to local activists, had collectively broken with Trump and Trumpism after the Capitol riot, the percentage of rank-and-file Republican voters ready for the party to go in a new direction would have grown.;

Party elites arent completely unresponsive to popular will, of course. If, for some reason, a majority of Republican voters were positively clamoring for a new direction, perhaps elites would respond. But thats not happening. Instead, polls suggest rank-and-file Republican voters seem fairly averse to major changes to the GOP, particularly a real repudiation of Trump.

Opinionrep Justin Amash’s Brave Decision To Leave The Gop Just The Tip Of The Iceberg

So who will stand up now and help take the Republican Party in a new direction? Election season cannot go into perpetuity, at some point we must govern. Someone must lead.

I am not naive, nor do I believe that the majority of our political leaders have the intelligence or moral compass to act with the courage of Abraham Lincoln. Expecting an overnight solution to a longterm problem is a recipe for failure. And I realize that the same people who mocked me for believing that Republicans and Democrats could work together before, will likely mock me once again for believing that all hope is not lost.

I realize that the same people who mocked me for believing that Republicans and Democrats could work together before, will likely mock me once again for believing that all hope is not lost.

But what other choice do we have? Our democracy requires compromise and courage to meet the challenges that we face. We cannot afford to continue down the broken roads that have led us to gridlock. We need each other.

Like it or not, Democrats need a strong Republican Party to act a a counterweight in our deliberative process. The Framers fully intended for progress to be incremental, not overnight or all at once. A democracy absent diversity is not a democracy. This symbiotic relationship may not be pretty and certainly may not always be successful, but it is necessary to the framework that makes us a shining star on a hill.

Recommended Reading: How Many Registered Democrats And Republicans Are There

Trump Is Still A Force In The Party

After the 2012 elections, prominent Republicans sharply criticized Mitt Romney and his campaign. Democrats did the same to Hillary Clinton after 2016 and sometimes included former President Barack Obama in their criticisms, too. For a political party to change direction, it nearly always has to distance itself from past leaders.;

Or put another way: For there to be an autopsy, there has to be a dead body.

They’ll Stand By Their Man Even When Doing So Is Bad For Democracy

Former President Trump will once again make the kind of history you do not want your name associated with on Tuesday when his second impeachment trial commences in the U.S. Senate. As with Trump’s first trial , the outcome is not in doubt. But just because we know how it will end doesn’t mean the trial won’t be gripping. Members of Congress narrating their terrifying Insurrection Day ordeals will be a riveting spectacle. And just as we did in the House last month, Americans will get a quick and dirty head count of how many Republicans value democracy itself more than their own political fates.

Don’t get your hopes up on that score. While the political and evidentiary cases for GOP senators to convict Trump and bar him from ever holding federal office again are straightforward, the path to 67 votes is not. Instead, viewers should brace themselves for torturous arguments about how it is unconstitutional to impeach a former president, and some extremely “It depends on what the meaning of ‘is’ is” galaxy logic about how Trump did not incite the crowd to insurrection because he did not literally say the words “please go and lay violent siege to our national legislature.” Gathering more than one Republican in a room these days is a plain invitation to this kind of sophistry.

That they still refuse to do so says more about them than it does about Trump.

Read Also: How Many States Are Controlled By Republicans

Why The Gop Congress Will Stop Trump From Going Too Far

The coming resistance from Republican lawmakers who hate Trump, fear executive overreachor both.

This is a sneak preview;of the upcoming January/February 2017 issue of the Washington Monthly.

Could it happen here? Could a democratically elected leader come to rule us as an autocrat? Citizens of a free society can never lose sight of this question, andhowever complacent many of us have becomethe election of Donald Trump has shoved it back out to center stage.

A dependence on the people is, no doubt, the primary control on the government, James Madison observed in The Federalist Papers, but experience has taught mankind the necessity of auxiliary precautions. These precautions are the separation of powers and checks and balances, enshrined in the Constitution. Citizens concerned about tyranny from the leaders they have elected must depend on the other branches of government to defend the republic.

In particular, the public must rely on Congress, the branch of government that Madison felt necessarily predominates, given its proximity to the people. Moreover, Article I of the Constitution vests in Congress all legislative Powers herein granted, as well as ample implied powers of oversight, and the power of impeachment should that become necessary. If a strongman government ever takes root in America, it will not be simply because we elected a president determined to establish it, but because Congress acquiesced in his designs.

Support Nonprofit Journalism

Opinion: If Republicans Dont Stand By Trump They Risk Losing Their Base Forever

The Republican Party risks exile for longer than it has endured in the modern era if, in the absence of incontrovertible evidence of actual high crimes and misdemeanors, it deserts President Trump during the campaign to remove him from office. Democrats are pursuing impeachment because they obviously fear that they cannot defeat him at the ballot box in 2020.

The advantage of talking with radio listeners and not merely lecturing readers or tweeting at followers or opponents is that you hear from people who arent among the Manhattan-D.C. media elites who overwhelmingly hate Trump. Cautioning that crowd against confirmation bias is as useless as it was to warn the Obama administration that the nascent Islamic State was not the terrorist . Awkward truths dont do well on the left. But here are some awkward truths:

First, no quid pro quo, much less an illegitimate one, has been proved about Trumps dealings with Ukraine.

Second, quid pro quos have always been a feature of U.S. foreign policy from the long-ago Louisiana Purchase to more recently President Barack Obamas sending the Iranian regime $1.7 billion in cash, which was central to the controversial U.S.-Iran nuclear deal. Quid pro quos are sometimes excellent and obvious, sometimes controversial, sometimes illegal.

That wont fly with half of the country. And that half is watching very closely.

Read more:

Don’t Miss: What Is Difference Between Democrats And Republicans

Why Donald Trump Is Republicans’ Worst Nightmare In 2024

Analysis by Chris Cillizza, CNN Editor-at-large

Earlier this week, amid a rambling attack on the validity of the 2020 election, former President Donald Trump said this: “Interesting that today a poll came out indicating I’m far in the lead for the Republican Presidential Primary and the General Election in 2024.”

“Trump is confiding in allies that he intends to run again in 2024 with one contingency: that he still has a good bill of health, according to two sources close to the former president. That means Trump is going to hang over the Republican Party despite its attempts to rebrand during his exile and its blockade of a Trump-centric investigation into January’s insurrection.”“Manhattan prosecutors pursuing a criminal case against former President Donald Trump, his company and its executives have told at least one witness to prepare for grand jury testimony, according to a person familiar with the matter — a signal that the lengthy investigation is moving into an advanced stage.”

House Republicans Meet With Trump To Discuss Overturning Election Results

Gravitas: US Election: Why Trump cancelled the Republican convention

Trump loyalists are planning a last stand Jan. 6.

Rep. Jody Hice tweeted after the meeting: “The courts refuse to hear the President’s legal case. We’re going to make sure the People can!

12/21/2020 10:10 PM EST

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President Donald Trump huddled with a group of congressional Republicans at the White House on Monday, where they strategized over a last-ditch effort to overturn the election results next month, according to several members who attended the meeting.

Rep. Mo Brooks who is spearheading the long-shot push to overturn the election results in Congress organized the trio of White House meetings, which lasted over three hours and included roughly a dozen lawmakers. The group also met with Vice President Mike Pence, who will be presiding over the joint session of Congress when lawmakers officially certify the Electoral College votes on Jan. 6, as well as members of Trumps legal team.

It was a back-and-forth concerning the planning and strategy for January the 6th, Brooks said in a phone interview.

In addition to the dozens of House Republicans who are committed to objecting to the election results, Brooks said there are multiple Senate Republicans who are now receptive to the effort, though he declined to name names. Sen.-elect Tommy Tuberville , whom Trump has repeatedly praised on Twitter recently, has said he is considering the idea.

Sen. John Thune , however, told reporters Monday that the House GOPs effort is going down like a shot dog.

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Opinionwe Want To Hear What You Think Please Submit A Letter To The Editor

I have often been called too optimistic and criticized for my faith in my fellow American. Yet I wear those labels with pride, because at the end of the day we have to believe. We have to believe that we are part of something worth fighting for and saving.

Most importantly though, we have to believe in the goodness of each other and our ability to correct course even when it seems impossible. That has been our saving grace throughout history, our ability to turn this social experiment around and live up to our motto out of many, one.

Michael Starr Hopkins is the founding partner of Northern Starr Strategies and served on the presidential campaigns of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

Republicans’ Choice: Stand With Trump Or Risk His Wrath

Trump has already informed at least two GOP lawmakers of his dissatisfaction with their defense of his racist tweets.

Sen. John Cornyn prides himself on winning a large share of the Latino vote in Texas, campaigning in the Asian American community and running ads in three languages. Its a crucial strategy for a Republican in a diverse state and one that is sharply divergent from President Donald Trumps approach.

So as Cornyn seeks reelection next year with Trump on the ballot, hes making sure that he isnt dragged down by the presidents more inflammatory politics, exemplified again this week by his racist tweets telling four liberal Democratic congresswomen to go back to where they came from.

I dont have any trouble speaking to any of my constituents. They dont confuse me with whats happening up here in D.C., said Cornyn, who has gently criticized Trumps battle as a mistake that unified Democrats. I know we are consumed by this here, but it doesnt consume my constituents when I go back home.

Its a common refrain for Republicans trying to deflect a Trump-fueled firestorm and highlights the dilemma that the party will face for months to come.

GOP lawmakers, especially those facing potentially tough reelection bids, need to create independent identities to win over Trump skeptics. But if they break too fiercely with the president, he and his grassroots supporters might turn on them, with disastrous political consequences.

Also Check: What National Policies Did Republicans Pursue During The Civil War

Why So Many Republicans Cling To Trump

Ben Shapiro got part of it right. A toxic mix of status anxiety, persecution fears, and echoes of the Civil War helps explain why they follow Trump into the abyss.

On September 17, 1862, over 10,000 Confederate soldiers were killed, wounded, or went missing in a single day at the Battle of Antietam. Very few of them came from slave-owning families, so why did they agree to give their lives in defense of human bondage?

I was reminded of this question when I noticed that Politico Playbook had recruited conservative celebrity and author Ben Shapiro;to explain why the vast majority of House Republicans voted not to impeach President Trump on Wednesday for sending a murderous mob after them on January 6. Politico was slammed by liberals for opening its best-known section to a conservative whos been charged with being bigoted and intolerant. But Shapiros explanation of the rallying around Trump during his final days wasnt totally off base. He was on to something about how Republicans see the world.

With Trump leaving office within a week, defending his incitement of an insurrection doesnt seem to be in the long-term self-interest of Republican officeholders.;But the Civil War example helps explain why people sometimes do very self-destructive things out of spite or insecurity.

White supremacy was such a consensus view at the time that Lincoln felt compelled to defend it.

Like the rebels at Antietam, no one wants to die for nothing.

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Where Texas Republicans Stand On Donald Trump

The surfacing of a 2005 clip showing Donald Trump speaking lewdly about women has caused many Republicans to drop their support for their party’s presidential nominee. Here’s how the controversy is unfolding in Texas.

Editor’s note: This story has been updated with additional comments. It was last updated Oct. 13.

The surfacing of a 2005 clip showing Donald Trump speaking lewdly about women has caused many Republicans across the country to drop their support for their party’s presidential nominee. Here’s how the controversy is unfolding among Texas Republicans in Congress and in statewide office:

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Critical Of Trump And Still Not Supporting Him

Texas House Speaker Joe Straus

Has he previously supported Trump?;No. Straus has never offered support for Trump, often saying he is instead focused on down-ballot races as the chairman of the Republican Legislative Campaign Committee.;

Where does he stand now?;Straus said in a statement Oct. 10: “I’ve had serious concerns about the nominee throughout this entire process. My focus remains on supporting Republican legislative candidates in Texas and across the country.”;

What We All Forget About The Political Career Of Bush 41

Clinton-Gore could compete

Bush’s term in office featured a short and highly successful war in the Persian Gulf and a budget deal with Democrats that would eventually reduce the federal deficit and slow the growth of the national debt. But a brief recession cost him in the polls, and a rebellion broke out on the party’s right.

Bush got a primary challenge from Pat Buchanan, a media personality who served as an adviser to Reagan and Nixon. Buchanan assailed the budget deal because it raised taxes. He conjured the spirits of Reagan and Goldwater and questioned Bush’s conservative bona fides. So did Ross Perot, an eccentric billionaire Texan who was running as a self-financing independent.

On top of that, Bush was confronted with the Democrats’ choice of an all-Southern ticket in Clinton of Arkansas and Al Gore of Tennessee. The young Democrats who could talk Southern carried their home states plus Louisiana and Georgia and all the Civil War “border states” . The region was back in play.

Clinton and Gore threw a chill into Republicans. What if Clinton served two terms and gave way to a still-vital, still-Southern Gore who could serve two more? That would be a roadblock in the White House equivalent to Roosevelt’s four wins.

Read Also: How Did President Clinton’s Impeachment Affect Republicans

[rkseongmin]

mga4 audition day.     saturday june 16th part four; the special skill 

the interview finished with a question about the special skills on his profile. which hyunjoon figured would come up at some point, otherwise they wouldn’t have asked to have it down. and he has thought this threw before hand as to what he might do should they ask about the skills. 

hyunjoon knows hes lacking in the ability department. he doesn’t have magic tricks, or play an instrument. he can’t do gymnastics, and he doesn’t have any artistic desire for drawing or painting. he knows plenty of people are going to show up to this thing with all kinds of musical skills under their belt from instruments to gymnastics. they all probably have some performing special skills that would be good for an idol to have. which puts hyunjoon in a rather odd place as it’s only been recently that he’s considered hey maybe you want to do this and so he hasn’t spent years refining aspects that would go well for an idol.

but he does have something.

sure it might not be something super helpful for music and performing, but cooking is almost like performing for hyunjoon. he’s been cooking so long, and spends so much time practicing how to cook and learning new recipes, it’s all almost second nature. he could cook a lot of the dishes that he knows in the dark--in his sleep even--and his confidence in cooking is not lacking one bit. he knows he’s a good chef and he isn’t afraid to tell people.

the only problem had been. how does he show off cooking during the audition? his language skills are one thing. he can just start speaking in either Chinese language he knows without issue. he’s comfortable and fluent enough in both cantonese and mandarin that he doesn’t worry about that so much.

but cooking. his real skill. 

he had thought about it for a while. what would he do if they asked for special skills. he couldn’t very well bring a portable kitchen with him to cook them a meal. and he doubted they had a kitchen on hand that he could show off in. so it was a matter of does he bring some things and make something that doesn’t require baking. or does he just bring a finished product. 

honestly, he probably spent as much time trying to figure out something to solve this potential problem as he did on the dance he would show off. given, the dance part would be easy--in his view--he knows so many choreography’s because of the dance crew, that worst come to worst he can do the first one that comes to mind. generally a girl group song. recently he’s been all for hyuna’s lip and hip. it kind of surprised him that he likes covering girl group songs so much.

anyway, back to the issue at hand. 

he realized maybe he could bring precooked ingredients with him and put together something then and there. he considered maybe mixing a western dish like spaghetti, or making a bowl of japanese style ramen. he also thought about just showing up with a premade cake and being like yup so i made this. but all those ideas seemed bland and not thought out enough to really work. so then he was back on the drawing board when he thought well what about kimbap? he could bring what he needs to make a roll already made, and then just put the roll together for them. the taste would still be amazing because he’s the one to make it. 

and to top it off he could still bring some home made cookies just to give a difference in taste. and maybe add some flair by doing it quickly. so thats what he did.

he used a thermal containing bag to carry his ingredients he would need to put together the kimbap. bulgogi, sliced carrots, egg, cooked spinach and some radish to wrap. a small bowl of just enough rice, and one seaweed paper for his roll. his bag kept everything warm enough that it would still taste fresh--it helped that he got up earlier and did this before he had to leave for the audition. 

when the time for the special skill came up, he was quick to grab his bag---the only one he brought actually as he hadn’t needed much else besides himself for this--and start setting things on a table. 

“my best skill besides dancing, is my cooking.” he started explaining, setting everything out nicely on the table and then sliding some plastic gloves on so that he wouldn’t be getting his hands messy, or the food contaminated with his dirty hands. 

“everything has been precooked using my own combination of seseme oil, and spices. but i will now wrap the kimbap roll for you in under 2 minutes.” he knows that wrapping a kimbap roll might not be the most impressive thing but he hopes his daring would endear them to him. and while he was wrapping the kimbap, he decided to explain what he was doing in mandarin. to show off his language skills.

“welcome to kimbap in mandarin. i will start by spreading the rice over the seaweed. the key is to not spread it to the edge but keep it near the middle. but still make sure it’s even.” his confidence must be shining through, his expression relaxed and voice light as he explained. his focus was completely on his roll he was showing off. as this was something he was so comfortable with. he knows he can cook, he knows he can roll this in under two minutes and be super impressive about it. so he isn’t worried. even if they don’t think cooking is important, he hopes they can see his confidence, and his focus during this. as well as maybe seeing the flair for hosting he has.

after all, he did watch a lot of cooking shows. he knows how to talk and explain when it comes to hosting like this. 

“then we begin putting on the ingredients. there’s no right or wrong order to put them in. as long as they are all laying the right way.” he started placing the ingredients onto the rice. moving swiftly but still managing to make everything look nice. after a bit of everything was on the rice he started to roll it.

“the key to rolling is that you want to keep everything inside.” he wonders if anyone here speaks mandarin and would be able to understand that ridiculous direction. given, hyunjoon isn’t wrong. it is important to keep everything inside the roll. and he does. he rolls it up with ease. using a tiny bit of rice to stick the roll together at the end. the only thing he hadn’t thought about was how he would cut the rolls. but, luckily for everyone, hyunjoon is crafty in the kitchen. he does have a fork. and most of the time forks would make more of a mess, hyunjoon knows how to apply it correctly to cut through the roll without tearing anything.

with about ten seconds to spare, he presents a beautiful bulgogi kimbap roll. “thank you for participating in kimbap in mandarin.” he finishes off with a small bow. before offering the roll to them. a small smile resting on his face. always happy after cooking something and sharing it. 

[markdecastroweb]

This amazing home inspired me to change my lottery cluttered life

When you win a number of lottery prizes, you can buy a lot of stuff.

And for years I did just that. As a result our five bed, two-lounge house was filled with the best clutter money could buy!

If a new electronic product came out, I bought it. The old one got stored somewhere. I had three video projectors in boxes somewhere in the cupboards of our three-level house.

Every product came with a few extra cords. I now had multiple boxes of cords. Two bedrooms were piled with outdated equipment. My entertainment center contained an old computer I hadn’t seen for five years, and never used since.

Then one day about 10 years ago I was looking at a home featured in Architectural Digest. That’s it in the pictures on this page.

And I was blown away.

The contemporary house in Beverly Hills was outstandingly gorgeous. With its large white living areas and stylish layout, this was the home I ultimately wanted.

And as I looked at the dozen photos which showed it in detail, one thing struck me.

It was clutter-free.

Of course, I know many showpiece homes don't look like this in real life. Before the magazine photographer arrives they are primped and polished. Whole sections of the furniture are removed or added until it looks the ultimate in glamorous living.

But somehow this modernistic marvel didn’t look like one of those places. Everything seemed well placed, well styled... the look was complete.

And the home became my goal. Not to own, but to use as a guide to living well.

Just looking at the photos I knew that the owner of this place, a health food entrepreneur, didn’t have a mountain of boxes under his house that he hadn’t opened for nine years.

Nor did he have cupboards full of stuff that had never seen the light of day since his last move. And he most certainly didn’t have computers and TVs trailing a spaghetti tangle of cords behind his cabinets.

But I did. And I didn’t want to live that way any longer. My home looked clean and sleek to guests and visitors, but behind every door and cupboard the storage was fast running out.

So I resolved to reduce my mountain of clutter, to become as minimalist as possible while still living a great lifestyle.

It is an interesting journey that still continues.

My handyman carted away the second enormous trailer load of our unused possessions. Our house was now 90% clear in the basement.

And earlier in the morning, I had received a signed declaration from a mobile shredding service. It stated that the 240-liter bin I had spent the weekend stuffing full of bank statements, old invoices, recipes, paper records, old checkbooks - and goodness knows what else - was satisfactorily shredded to a Level 3 security standard.

So over two weeks I had systematically gone through kitchen cupboards, storage areas and drawers, ruthlessly tossing out anything we hadn’t used for years.

As I woke one morning to the sound of the rubbish truck on the street outside, I heard the satisfying crash of old crockery I had put out earlier being dumped in the bin.

Our old stuff all went one way or another., donated or dumped.

As I relaxed that night in my easy chair, do you know the best thing to come out of this? The feeling of unburdening, lightness, and relief that at last my life was getting under control.

When you win a large lottery prize, the temptation is to buy more. You have the resources to get anything you want. But think first - do you really need it?

I’m the first person to acknowledge that material goods will make you happy. I get a tremendous kick from everything I’ve bought.

But too much overwhelms you, keeps you a prisoner of the polishing and dusting cloths, and requires constant maintenance.

So make sure you only buy what you can treasure.

That’s the true usefulness of lottery money!

ALL PHOTOS: Architectural Digest

Ken, I was a non believer until i looked through all your material, it took weeks you have written a lot! Anyway, I think i have found out how it works so I bought some tickets last week and it got me $37,000!!!! Thats not much according to some of youre winners, but to me its a years work and very welcome too. Thanks a million!   Will. 

Could you win the lottery in 8 games out of 10? This amazing home inspired me to change my lottery cluttered life published first on https://188lotosite.tumblr.com/