#but only at the end

[tethys-the-aquatic-sea-godness]

Observations on Sarevok and Tamoko

Since BG 3 saw it fit to erase the character described in game as Sarevok's "one true love", I thought I'd make a recap of whatever insights BG 1 gave us about their relationship. So here's an assortments of things I noticed in my recent playthrough, along with my rambling (which you're welcome to skip, obviously).

(It's long rambling, grab a seat and a drink if you're interested)

The first time most of us get any insight into the relationship between Sarevok and Tamoko is when Tamoko comes to talk with Gorion’s ward.

She’s very clear about her feelings for Sarevok (genuine love) and his plan (genuine reject)

A few highlights for me:

"I charge you to defeat Sarevok, the man behind all your woes. You must destroy his plans and stop his scheme in its tracks. You must strip him of the belief that he can succeed in this path he follows. You must do this for me, and you must also leave him his life. I will… I will help him to live his life as a man, not as the god he thinks he can be.”

"Possibly he’s right, but I cannot lose him to this."

"Sarevok is… I share Sarevok’s company, and would do so until I die, given the choice. That is all you need to know. I would save the man within the beast he wishes to be."

"Sarevok can be redeemed"

Her affection is plain, despite the rift in their relationship due to their disagreement. However, there's nothing on this from Sarevok himself (logical given the narrative of BG 1, he's trying to kill Gorion's ward, not chat about his love life). But, through various clues, you get an idea of his feelings.

Let's start with Cythandria, another member of the Iron Throne, and the insight this character gives into Sarevok and Tamoko's relationship.

The only time Cythandria is mentioned by another character is when Tamoko directs you to her.

"Atop the Iron Throne base is a woman whose... whose influence is a poison in Sarevok's soul" → According to Tamoko, Cythandria has a sway on Sarevok. She also add that "she [Cythrandria] holds much power in this matter". The question here would be why this Cythandria has any influence on Sarevok. He is focused mainly in power, and from a letter found on Slythe, the assassin working for Sarevok, he has no interest in brothels. If Cythandria has influence on Sarevok, it seems unlikely it would be through sex, so there's more to their connection.

Two more elements catch my attention:

"She seeks Sarevok's favor as well" → Whatever wedge has grown between Tamoko and Sarevok, Cythandria hasn’t managed to get in the gap. She’s 'trying', likely getting success from telling Sarevok what he wants to hear, and getting him to listen through the influence she has on him, but she hasn’t replaced Tamoko.

“I… I must go. He cannot know I have helped you” → Why she doesn’t want be seen with Gorion’s ward is obvious, they’re Sarevok’s enemy, but it’s also useful to gauge the state trust of Tamoko and Sarevok’s relationship. She knows enough of his plan that she can tell every single element Gorion’s ward need to check to prove Sarevok’s guilt to the duke: Eltan’s poisoning, the assassins in the Undercellar, Cythandria (though that last one might be partially prompted by jealousy). She’s also fully aware of his divine parentage, and his plans to ascend to godhood, as well as the method. It’s safe to say that at this point of the story, Tamoko is part of Sarevok’s inner circle and knows his whole plan from start to finish. You might even have identified her as the cleric who helped Sarevok slay Gorion during the prologue (dispel magic my hated beloved). More importantly, she’s part of that inner circle despite disagreeing with Sarevok regarding his choice for godhood. His actions until now doesn't lead to believe he'd take constructive criticism well, especially when he's so close to success, but he takes it from Tamoko, even though he doesn’t listen.

My conclusion: Sarevok’s plan to ascend to godhood has created a rift between him and his lover, Tamoko. Cythandria, someone with influence over Sarevok, is using that rift to get greater sway over him. Despite their conflict, Tamoko is still part of Sarevok’s inner circle, and privy to his plans.

The other time we get further insight into these relationships, is when we meet Cythandria.

Depending on dialogue, you may get different answers from her. This is the most informative.

"I am Cythandria, consort to Sarevok" → Well, that's a long way from "seeking his favor". Or not. Just further down the dialogue, Cythandria contradicts herself "He will be pleased to know I have killed you... perhaps enough that I might become his favored one again". It seems someone put the cart before the horse. It's paradoxical that she'd be his "consort", but not his "favored one". It also aligns with what Tamoko said before, Cythandria's trying to get back in Sarevok's good graces, but she's not there yet.

"I have been with him since before he knew of his true heritage" → That part's very interesting because it explains why and how she could have any influence over Sarevok at all. From Sarevok's diary, you know he's discovered his divine heritage around three years before the events of the game (he mentions starting his research in 1365 and game events occur in 1368), meaning he's known Cythandria for at least four years. From there, it's left up to the player to decide exactly how long they've been acquainted (from childhood or adolescence to less than a decade), and what "I have been with him" means. It's meant to indicate an intimate relationship, though when and how that relationship started during their acquaintance is up to you. She also wants to highlight her loyalty, showing that, unlike many, she stood with Sarevok before his divine heritage granted him more importance. That too would be a part of Cythandria's influence over Sarevok. She's a former lover, who was on his side before she knew of his parentage. More importantly, it shows Cythandria isn't Sarevok's 'new girl', she's a previous partner, and Tamoko is the 'new girl' here, as she does not mention having known Sarevok for a long time.

My conclusion: Sarevok knew Cythandria first, at least four years prior to the game's events. At some point, they started an intimate relationship that ended later on. Sarevok's relationship with Tamoko started after that. Cythandria has sway over Sarevok due to their past relationship and her loyalty prior to knowing of his heritage. Despite this, Cythandria's still trying (and seemingly not succeeding) to be Sarevok's favorite again, but she introduces herself as his consort anyway.

Further conversation with Cythandria gives more insight into her opinion on Tamoko, and Tamoko's relationship with Sarevok. A rather negative opinion.

Both of the following snippets are collected from different conversation paths.

This answer occurs if you don't mention you have inside information and try to convince Cythandria to surrender before the fight. As you can see, she's not impressed.

Here's a few highlights:

"I would never betray my Lord. Perhaps you should try your wiles on Tamoko, I'm sure she'd be more receptive to your overtures." → While she utterly rejects the idea of betraying Sarevok, she mentions Tamoko as someone who would be open to it. It's interesting on two points. First, it shows Cythandria doesn't understand Tamoko. To get this dialogue from Cythandria, you have to pick the answer that describes Sarevok as "evil to the core" and thus incapable of having a "favored one", which is pretty much the opposite of Tamoko's argument when you speak with her. She wants Sarevok's plan to fail, but her help depends on the promise that Gorion's ward will spare his life. Tamoko wouldn't be moved by this answer any more than Cythandria is, though it'd be for different reasons. Cythandria isn't concerned by his 'evilness', she's entirely behind his whole plan, while Tamoko believes this plan is harmful for Sarevok, that he's entirely under the influence of his divine blood. It lends credence to Tamoko's argument, when she describes Cythandria as someone who "is content if he [Sarevok] self-destructs, so long as she profits in the deed". Cythandria's loyal, but but she displays more concern for her place by Sarevok's side than for his survival. The second thing this dialogue shows is that Cythandria is aware of Tamoko's opinion on Sarevok's plan. Considering how they dislike each other, it's unlikely they chat around a drink, which leaves three options I'll give in order of how probable I think they are. One; Cythandria witnessed one or several exhanges between Sarevok and Tamoko where the subject came up. Two; Sarevok complained about his relationship problems to Cythandria. Three; you get Sarevok's diary from Cythandria, and while the canon contents don't mention anything beside his plan save for a nightmare, from the size of the diary, you can assume there's more in it, maybe his relationship problems. The second's less likely because Cythandria's still trying to get back in Sarevok's favor, he wouldn't be chatting about this with her. As for the diary found in her possession, there could be something mentionned in there, but there's no garantee at all, since it seems focused on his plan. There's also no way to know how long Cythandria had the diary and if she had any time to read it.

"I could never understand what Sarevok saw in her." → Cythandria doesn't understand the use for Tamoko, or see any qualities in her she'd value. Jealousy plays a role there too, Tamoko is her ex' new partner, but Cythandria could've dimissed her as a simple tool Sarevok would discard later. Instead, she considers it odd that Sarevok would keep Tamoko by his side at all. Cythandria has known Sarevok for several years, before he knew of his heritage, she has some influence over him, but she doesn't see why he'd keep Tamoko around. She disagrees with Sarevok openly enough that other members of the inner circle are aware of it, and even someone who's known Sarevok for a while doesn't understand where she'd fit in his plan. It's safe to assume Tamoko's there because Sarevok wants her to be, not because he has any specific use for her.

My conlusion: Cythandria considers herself highly loyal and Tamoko's commitment fickle. Despite having known Sarevok for years, she doesn't understand why he'd keep Tamoko around, since he doesn't seem to have a clear use for her, save for her company.

Now on to the second conversation path. In this one, Gorion's ward reveal they were tipped by someone to find Cythandria at the Iron Throne. However, Tamoko's name is kept out of it. Cythandria's reaction is as follow:

This answer says more or less the exact same thing as the previous answer, but it shows Cythandria's opinions rather than having her say them out loud.

"Who told you to come here? Who betrayed my lord?" → The same loyalty Cythandria talked about in the previous answer, but shown instead of told.

"It was Tamoko, wasn't it?" → Same here, with her belief in Tamoko's fickleness.

"I always knew her to be a traitorous whore!" → That one's interesting for the sheer volume of hate in it. It's another clue Cythandria didn't replace Tamoko. This kind of vitriol doesn't read like something coming from a new lover, but an ex one.

My conclusion: This different dialogue gives similar information (Cythandria's loyalty, her distrust of Tamoko), but it show them through dialogue rather than have Cythandria do the exposition. It also shows the deep resentment Cythandria's nurturing for Tamoko.

The next time you get an indication on the state of Sarevok and Tamoko's relationship, is during the last conversation with Tamoko in the Undercity, in front of the temple of Bhaal.

Their relationship has deteriorated since you last spoke to her. Understandable, as Sarevok discovered she betrayed him by offering significant information to sabotage his plans. Despite this, you can see Tamoko gets a different treatment, even as a traitor.

"He has forsaken me, left me to die in your path. I must fight to regain his trust, his... attention." → To better understand why Sarevok's treatment of Tamoko is different here, you have to compare it to how he treated another 'traitor'. Winski Perorate was a cleric of Bhaal, and Sarevok's mentor who "tutored him in the blackest of rituals". He was the one who helped him develop and nurture his abilities. He's one of his closest ally, someone who, unlike Tamoko, never tried to divert Sarevok from his course, as he was the one to set him on said course. Yet, during the fight at the Ducal Palace, Winski teleports Sarevok to safety, rather than follow his order to kill the Dukes. Sarevok strikes him down for his disobedience. Tamoko, revealed to be a traitor who actively worked to sabotage Sarevok's plans is found in a very different situation. She's full health, so he likely never attacked her (she could heal or down or potion, but nothing in her dialogue suggest he attacked her, only that he abandonned her), she has the option of a 'second chance' (her chances of winning in 1vs6 are dubious at best), but more importantly, she has the possibility to simply leave. She's entirely alone outside the temple of Bhaal, the only hostiles around being undead, not the worst threat when you're a cleric. She's free from the influence of a geas, and without any form of surpervision. Tamoko feels obligated to face you because she's heartbroken and desperate, but when you look at her situation, there's nothing to keep her from simply leaving, which you can convince her to do. Sarevok cuts down a man who saved him because he disobeyed his orders, but Tamoko, who sabotaged all his plans, is left unharmed, able to earn back his 'trust and attention' through what's akin to suicide, or leave, without any consequences. They were both part of his inner circle, but they're getting very different treatments.

→ The taint affects Bhaalspawns, pushing them to follow their darker side. During ToB, Sarevok also confirms that during that time, his "will was not his own". With that in mind, leaving Tamoko the way he does can be read as an attempt (conscious or unconscious) to save her, likely from himself. His reaction when Perorate disobeyed was to strike him down, it's unlikely he didn't feel the same urge when he learned of Tamoko's betrayal. However, in her case, he fought against the instinct and got it under some control.

My conclusion: Sarevok discovered Tamoko's betrayal, but rather than kill her, he let her live, supposedly to stand in Gorion's ward way. However, he did nothing to ensure that Tamoko did that, and she's able to leave completely unarmed. If she's killed, however, it's by Gorion's ward hand, not Sarevok's. Unlike anyone else standing in Sarevok's way, she's given a chance to leave, and he doesn't physically harm her.

Obviously, Sarevok and Tamoko's relationship meets a tragic end, whether or not she survives. If Gorion's ward refuses to attack and Tamoko is convinced to back down, the dialogue follows as below.

Here, Tamoko reaches her limit and lets Sarevok go. What I found interesting here ( and frankly had me sadly amused when I replayed it) was the display of naivety.

"You... you are not so alike after all. he would not have hesitated for an instant. Perhaps... perhaps it is more than his blood that makes him the way he is." → Tamoko staunchly defended Sarevok with the conviction that he only went to such lengths because of the taint, and that his choices would be different without it. This does not take into account any of Sarevok's background, which brings forth the question of how much of Sarevok's life did Tamoko know? Cythandria boasted knowing Sarevok before he was aware of his origin, but Tamoko made no such claims. That leads to believe she didn't know him before, which would make their relationship three years old or less. It's not much to share personnal details, especially with Sarevok's plans in motion. Another part that shows Tamoko didn't know Sarevok's past is this line: "perhaps it is more than his blood that makes him the way he is". 'Perhaps'? As a player, you can tell there's a lot more than his blood making him the way he is, through one entry in his journal and one conversation with Winski Perorate.

This is the journal entry that showcases a glimpse of Sarevok's childhood with Rieltar (which I will make a whole different post about, it's only here for context in this post). On a sidenote, despite his brutal ways, Sarevok never raises a hand on Tamoko, even when she betrays him. It's a really meaningful touch to add to a character who was forced to watch his mother being murdered by her husband.

It's never specified when Perorate became Sarevok's mentor, or for how long they've known each other, but Sarevok isn't that much older than Gorion's ward. At the latest, Perorate must've have found him when he was a young adult

In ToB you get a bit more of what Sarevok's life was prior to the events of BG 1 through his bio.

Compare this with a few background information on Gorion's ward.

That's the opening prologue, giving you some context.

Now this is one of three possible answers, but I choose to highlight it because it's the one where the difference is the most striking. Another answer describes this childhood as boring and the last doesn't comment. No matter what you pick, there's nothing dramatic to Gorion's ward's backstory before the events of the game. It's SoD exclusive though, so you can ignore it. Playing BG 1's prologue is enough to see how different their lives were.

"You are not so alike after all" (yeah, no shit) → Sarevok and Gorion's ward have led very differen lives, which shaped them into very different people. These changes affect how they respond to the taint. The fact that Tamoko never took this into account can showcase naivety, or a lack of knowledge of Sarevok's past, maybe a bit of both. Talking about that time your father murdered your mother can kill the mood on a date.

"But that only works for a 'good' playthrough'!" → No, actually, it works for the evil path as well, because whatever you choose, you either reject the taint's influence or harness it. Sarevo is unable to do either, but is convinced he's mastered the latter.

Post BG 1, Tamoko's fate is unknown when she leaves alive, but by the time ToB comes around, she's dead, fridged offscreen (thanks writers). However, you do get one last snippet of her and her relationship with Sarevok during his epilogue.

Here's the in game description I mentionned at the start. This is what Sarevok's epilogue ends on, the last thing the writers decided to mention. He goes on the other side of Toril, carrying Tamoko's remains (who may have died for his poor decisions, depending on how you played) back to her homeland, and staying there, as far as records know. They have people imagining dark stories of Sarevok going on a crusade in the Abyss or taking his own life, but the truth has him focusing on the one person he left aside before. It's a really bittersweet ending they choose for him. It showed him embracing his humanity over power in the end, the way Tamoko hoped he would.

Then BG 3. This epilogue was supposed to be the conclusion of Sarevok's story. Of course, writing more would be great if you follow up on what was already established. Not if you erase one character and ruin another, making it so what the wider audience know about him is your shitty ooc fanfic version of him where his characterization gets stomped over. 'But you don't have the epilogue if you didn't revive Sarevok-', no, you don't, meaning he's still dead in the Abyss, not sitting somewhere under Baldur's Gate. 'But if he was revived by Bhaal-' dialogue clearly states he was raised by the intervention of their stand-in bhaalspawn. Even if this theory held any weight, being revived by Bhaal would mean Sarevok doesn't have any free will, and that's clearly not what dialogues imply.

BG 3 ignored the epilogue, erased Tamoko in favor of two OCs, that nobody who played the previous games give a damn about. You can't care about them when they're propped up on the back of characters you already care about (aside from the fact their backstory is the dumbest fanon nonsense I've seen in BG 3, to the point where it doesn't even look like part of the game). You can even start resenting them, when a beloved character is used as stepping stool to prop them up.

[blarefordaglare]

day 10 - killing in self defense

Hehe might have made this a bit diff then the prompt but oh well-

———

Legend’s eyes blinked open to the sound of singing. Marin. Her voice waved through the air like a faint ocean breeze after a large storm. 

“Link,” her red hair blew against the wind, “After all these years… do you still remember me?” 

The veteran’s head pounded. This didn’t seem right. Something felt off, like a haze he just couldn’t grab, yet it didn’t matter. She was here now. The amount of loneliness that has pained him over the years would finally dissipate. He would be with her again. He was free.

“Marin-“ The boy choked out, gasping for air, “You’re- stay!” He sobbed as his hand went straight through the girl’s body. The Koholint girl simply smiled and wrapped her transparent hands around the rough skin lathered in rings older than time itself. 

“Snap out of it, Legend.” 

Legend? But only… Marin doesn’t-

No.

Legend’s eyes blinked open as he gazed over. Warm scarred hands shaking his cold body awake. Liar. She came back, she was there? Wasn’t she?

“Where?” Legend slurred, “Where di’ she go?” She couldn’t be gone. Marin had to come back, he couldn’t lose her again, he couldn’t let go again. The people on the island, they had to be somewhere. They couldn’t be gone. 

“Drink.” What’s the traveler doing here? The brunette set a bottle to his lips potion? “Champion put some honey in it so it would taste sweet, but you have to drink all of it okay?” His soft voice filled the once still air, leaving Legend to only sob more. She’s gone. She’s really gone. 

Soft, yet coarse fingers swept through his hair, “Go back to sleep, it’ll be better in the morning.” Oh, Wild’s here. He gazed up at the pairs of blue and green eyes gazing into his hazy soul. 

“Will she be here tomorrow?” 

Hyrule gave a hesitant look at the veteran, “Yes.” The lie was clear, but it was good enough for the veteran. 

He closed his eyes, waiting for the clouded dreams to resurface. 

…

OK THIS IS NOTHING LIKE THE PROMPT BUT OH WELL-

[distort1xn]

Remus is looking at his phone when he hears a voice he’d recognise anywhere, anytime. It brings back an utter torrent of memories, from sandwich-swapping at lunch to sneaking into the gigs of local bands at bars they hadn’t been old enough to get into. And so much laughter, and hugs and bright summer afternoons in a bubble that seemed impenetrable, at the time. Until he’d ruined everything, of course. And now they're here, in New York, a million miles from home, and Remus tries to figure out whether or not this is a hallucination from their stint at the patchouli cart.

“Remus?” He still sounds the same as that last voice message, the only remnant of their life together. And now he’s peering into Remus’ eyes, his grey ones bright with surprise and his pretty mouth pursed just so.

“Sirius,” he breathes, his mouth going dry.

—————————————————————————

COMPLETE

AO3 link for kudos and comments:

Google Drive link for epub (if you were so inclined):

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

the curse of summer is buying and eating an inadvisable amount of fruit in single sittings.

[trudlejack]

(+part 2)

[krash-8]

"what have you been doing on your phone for the past two fucking hours" hitting people leave me alone

[mag200]

one thing about orpheus and eurydice is you guys are all like “i’m different i wouldnt turn to look at her” because you are all familiar with the story of orpheus and eurydice. but orpheus wasnt familiar with the story because he was in it lol.

[saints-who-never-existed]

“In the war film, a soldier can hold his buddy—as long as his buddy is dying on the battlefield. In the western, Butch Cassidy can wash the Sundance Kid’s naked flesh—as long as it is wounded. In the boxing film, a trainer can rub the well-developed torso and sinewy back of his protege—as long as it is bruised. In the crime film, a mob lieutenant can embrace his boss like a lover—as long as he is riddled with bullets. 

Violence makes the homo-eroticism of many “male” genres invisible; it is a structural mechanism of plausible deniability.”

–Tarantino’s Incarnational Theology: Reservoir Dogs, Crucifixions, and Spectacular Violence. Kent L. Brintnall.

[lottieurl]

hyperfixations are so scary like yeah this could be a month long thing or i might be thinking of it everyday seven months from now. no way to tell

[ruporas]

dragon meat, you, and me

[novaneondream]

it’s our turn to make you smile

[soyochii]

Satosugu redraw

[phaoi]

PHUMPKIN ALERT!! 🎃💀🌈

[thesinglesock]

in a modern AU Link would be Zelda's only friend with a driver's license and their chat history would look like this

[wlwanakin]

at the end of the day when it comes to padmé i think it’s really important to remember that her closest friends are literally her employees. her only other friends are her coworkers. her closest friend for years was a girl she met at 14 whose job it was to pretend to be her and potentially die about it. another friend with the same job died in her arms while pretending to be her. she does not have friends outside of her squad of employees who pretend to be her and sometimes die about it and then her politician coworkers. too many of you are way too surprised that this woman is not normal about love or relationships or her own self considering all this

[royaltea000]

“A thousand generations serve to praise…”