#but on the other side of the coin i'm like This sometimes and i get an ego boost from Not being diagnosed bcs

[werevampiwolf]

Yeah. At 19, I was finally diagnosed with autism and as unable to live independently without years of occupational therapy and my mother said "fuck that" and threw me out of the house two days later. She'd fought the doctors my entire life to stopbe from being diagnosed, because then that would mean there was something "wrong" with me.

I was homeless for over a year. I'm no longer homeless, mostly due to getting very very lucky with circumstances outside my control (like the fact that I was young enough and had been homeless long enough while continuing to take classes at the local community college to qualify for a government grant for Unaccompanied Homeless Youth, which allowed me to get an apartment. And i was only able to take classes because I was poor enough that the classes were free, and because i had a broken laptop and it never got stolen AND i already knew how to fix computers so I was about to Franken-Computer it into it being and staying at least slightly usable AND the fact that the nearest Starbucks was understanding and didn't throw me out or call the cops when I spent hours in there to do coursework), so my mother takes this as a win. Obviously, the doctor must have been wrong because when I was forced to sink or swim, I've stayed alive (very literally in this case).

I would argue that even now, going on a decade later, I'm not so much "living on my own" as I am "barely surviving", but I try to make it very clear, both to her and to people I tell this story to, that the problem with "Sink or Swim" is that people who sink fucking DROWN.

Because even as someone who was forced, and who managed to just barely keep my head above the water... I'm a very staunch opponent to the idea of Sink or Swim. What I had to live through was horrible, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone else. But not only that, I was very acutely aware that my only options were to figure it out or to quite literally Die.

As someone who survived the extreme of the other side of this coin that OP is talking about... the idea that I or anyone else could manage to survive such circumstances and then turn around and insist that the ends justify the means is both baffling and appalling to me, though I know that it very much happens. I cannot see it as anything other than "I suffered, so you should have to suffer too." It's awful to be on either side of this coin, and if you think it's okay for force people to Sink or Swim, whether you've been in that situation or not, than you can fuck right off with that shit.

Side note, I'm someone with support needs on the higher end of medium. I still can't manage to brush my teeth independently, and I don't manage to feed myself consistently, though I at least manage to do it often enough to get enough calories in me to stay alive (and that's ignoring anything other than calories that make up a healthy and balanced diet, because that's not an option for me. It's eat whatever junk food I manage to get into my my mouth or starve). I have to rely on schedules, because my brain doesn't really understand what hunger feels like. I just eventually feel like I'm going to throw up, and if I'm lucky, my brain figures out that I haven't eaten in all day and that's probably why. But there are days when, even if you put a plate of food in front of me, it wouldn't occur to me to eat it. I will just sit there and stare at it (or into space) without outside promoting to eat. I maybe manage to take out the trash or do laundry every two weeks if I lucky, and sometimes it's only once a month, or less. I have plastic bottles that haven't been taken out in at least six months, and probably closer to a year. Perhaps the only reason I can see the other side of this coin is because I basically live as close to edge as is physically possible without going over the edge, but I really hope that's not it. I don't think people should have to be constantly teetering on the knife-edge of this reality to understand that It's Really Fucking Bad to force people to Sink or Swim, or as I prefer to call it, Survive Or Die.

I don’t think people understand how it is to have been behind on EVERY milestone. Learning how to walk? Late. Learning to read? Late. Learning to use the bathroom independently? Late. Every single milestone was late.

And when you have this, people ask questions. People bully you. Why can’t you shower by yourself at 9,10,15,20? Why can’t you brush your teeth independently and frequently? Why can’t you tie your shoes? Why can’t you do math? Why can’t you do this, or that.

And then there’s the people on social media. “Well I was forced to.” “Well I didn’t have a choice” and that’s understandable and completely valid, but there are people that no matter how much you force them, or neglect them so they “figure it out” they won’t “figure it out”. They’ll die. They’ll starve. They’ll not bathe and be dirty.

Higher support needs people don’t just “figure it out” our brains are wired differently. Our brains don’t get that we HAVE to do these things just to survive. So we don’t. And that sucks.

It’s disheartening to constantly hear people say “well i was forced to” because so was I!! I was forced to do things too! I was neglected too! And guess what? I still didn’t do those things. I STILL wasn’t able to meet those milestones.

The big one that I see is “well I’m forced to talk.” And I get that, but me, a person that’s nonverbal, can’t be forced to talk. No matter if I’m neglected, no matter if my device is taken away or I have no way of communication. I still wouldn’t be able to talk. I CANNOT force myself to talk. Get that through your heads. This is my reality, and although yours sucked there are still some people who cannot do things, and saying that they could if they were “forced” is invalidating of them.

[rafecameronsversion]

bright beverly hills || r.c

summary : kooks bully you at a party, and rafe reassures you.

warnings : bullying, discrimination, cursing, use of y/n, feminine descriptions.

i'm unsure if this is any good 🥸 i feel like i rushed it a lot. but hope u likey

rafe and i were two sides of the same coin, opposite but inseparable. he grew up in a silver spoon gated community, everything was served to him in a silver platter. a bubble-wrapped future, footsteps for him ready to follow.

while i was having candle-lit dinners at the cut, he had them in fancy michelin star restaurants. rafe had a cold exterior when it came to other people; to protect himself. however, when it came to me, he was the most caring boy.

clandestine meetings at the age of 12, his father would berate him for hanging out with a "pogue" like me, but he couldn't let him take away the one thing that brought him peace. we were best friends, eventually becoming more with lingering touches and longing glances.

he became a honorable part of my humble family, sometimes being invited over to our most simple of dinners, dancing in the living room late night swims in the beach.

it was friday night in outer banks, a party in full swing. this house belonged to topper. i was clinging to rafe's arm, feeling out of place. the tension in the air was palpable. i had debated that i didn't want to go here, knowing i would feel singled out and small.

this place yelled every single thing that was different between us two. the glistening chandeliers, polished floors, and snobby laughs coming from kooks who have never worked a day in their lives.

rafe smiles, looking at me. "i'll grab us some drinks real quick, alright baby?" he spoke, a gentle tone in his voice that was reserved only for me. i hesitated, not wanting to be left alone in this damned place. but i nodded, i couldn't be the one to hold him back, especially in his world. glamorous, shining, bright beverly hills.

he turned around, getting lost in the crowd of super rich kids. i stood in a less crowded corner, trying to attract the least attention, and it seemed to have worked.

three girls nearby were whispering among the other, yet they were louder than they realized.

"could you believe rafe cameron brought that girl here?" the blonde one scoffed, jealously reeked out of her mouth. the other two agreed, chiming in.

"must be hard living on the cut, always desperate to climb their way out." another one insinuated. i couldn't help but scoff at the idea, my heart was heavy and i couldn't bare being here. the bimbo chimed in, a confused look on her face.

"you really think she slept her way to be his girlfriend? i don't think even cameron would allow that..." she spoke, eyes wide. the blone one rolled her eyes. "well, even the richest men can still think with their dicks, jessica." she was an absolute mean girl, and her tone displayed it perfectly.

i felt like the walls were moving in on me, it was all too much. this place was too much. i quietly turned away, going outside by the porch where no one seemed to stay. i breathed in the fresh air, fidgeting.

soon after, rafe had found where i was. he looked at me fondly, a soft smile on his face. "hey... there you are. i thought i lost you in there." he said, rubbing his hand over my shoulder. i exhaled sharply.

"why am i here, rafe?" i questioned, my voice was low as i stood against the railing of the front porch of toppers' home, that was as big as the living room of my family's house. rafe looked at me confused.

"what do you mean, baby?" he asked, a soft and confused look in his eyes.

i laughed out a scoff, a bitter tone. "i don't belong here, rafe. your world... this mansion, these people." i paused, unsure how to continue. "i grew up on the cut, these people do nothing but look down at us. i can't be here rafe, i can't be in this world."

rafe's jaw tightened, looking away for a second before looking back at me. "you know that's not fair" he spoke, his voice on the edge.

"what's not fair is you pushing to bring me here! i don't have any of the things the girls here have. you'd be better off with someone from your world..." i spoke, my voice breaking a little from frustration.

rafe's eyes softened, he moved closer toward me. "baby..."

"don't you see how different we are? your world is all polished floors and bright chandeliers. mine is messy and chaotic." i spoke softly, afraid my voice will betray me.

he reached out, grabbing both hands and bringing them closer to him. "listen, i didn't bring you here to make you feel small. i don't want these girls, they can all go fuck themselves! i love you, and i love that we're different." he spoke softly, kissing the knuckles of my hands.

"none of this matters to me, baby. it doesn't mean anything if i don't have you." rafe spoke, his blue eyes warm.

i searched his face, looking into his eyes. i want to believe him yet doubt lingered in the back of my head. "you say that now..."

"but what happens when your friends remind you of who i am? when your dad tells you i'm not good enough." my voice was below a whisper, afraid of the possibilities of this relationship we had.

rafe held me by my shoulders, "i don't care. i'm done caring what they think. i want you, and the messy and chaotic world you've shown me." he said, leaning in and kissing my forehead.

"i don't need this world. i want the one where you showed me it's okay to be real, that it's okay to feel." he says softly, looking deeply into my eyes.

the way he looked at me so gently, so genuine. i felt as if i could cry. i attacked him in a hug, my arms wrapped around his torso.

"its just... those girls get under my skin. kept talking about how i slept my way out of the cut." i admitted quietly, my head still against his chest.

rafe shakes his head, hugging me back. "never ever let them get to you. they're just pissed." he pulled back to look at me, smiling. he pressed his lips onto mine, for a short and delicate kiss. "how about we just get out of here?" he said, a cheeky smile on his face.

i laughed, nodding my head yes. "i'd like that so much. please." he grinned, putting my hand in his as he guided us out of this place.

[eclaire-went-bam]

self-dx npd culture is being like "yeah maybe i thought a lot about it and ruled out other options and looked into this and it has affected every aspect of my life for years now & maybe i settled on this but also consider i'm not narcissistic i'm actually just THAT good and THAT deserving of doing the stuff i do and thinking the things i think and THAT entitled to everything i say i'm entitled to. i'm not professionally diagnosed so consider there is nothing wrong with me. i just Am better."

[foxxsong]

.

[tofics]

Comfort Has A Name

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!Reader

Summary: For you, comfort has a name: Joel Miller.

Word count: ~1.1k words

Tags/Warnings: fluff, freezing your ass off, soft!Joel, jokes about saggy balls in hot weather

A/N: Look at that, I actually wrote something. I'm literally drowning in uni work atm so I have no idea when I'll get back to my other fics, but I'm too overwhelmed with my task list tonight so naturally I had to procrastinate and think about a comforting Joel situation. This is literally no more than a drabble, but maybe it can provide some comfort for you too 🥲

Tough and gruff as he may be, Joel Miller is still your comfort person.

Occasionally, people will ask you how the hell you deal with him on a daily basis, and you never know what to reply. Where do you get the patience?

You're not a saint, by no means. Your patience does not exceed the normal amount, but you've never found Joel testing it.

It's more the opposite, really.

Where other people complain that he grinds their gears, you think of him as the drop of oil that smoothes out the kink in your own system.

Like that day him and you got surprised by a thunderstorm and had to take shelter in an abandoned building. Nothing about the complex provided a sense of comfort; bare and crumbling walls, dust and rubble-coated floors, and more broken windows than intact ones to show for. It was a miserable night. You were freezing, drenched from the downpour the two of you had gotten caught in, and the wind wasn't helping either, howling through the cracks and holes in the ceiling and walls like a wailing ghost.

Joel and you had taken cover in one corner of the building. In the dim twilight of the early night, your two cowering figures could've easily passed as two more large pieces of rubble to the untrained eye. Your soaked clothes lay strewn around, hastily discarded and exchanged for dry clothes from your backpacks in an attempt to not lose more body heat than necessary. (Joel hadn't looked, of course, and neither had you. Both of you had turned their backs to each other as you'd quickly stripped off your clothes, as quickly as the soaked garments would allow.) Still, your teeth were chattering relentlessly, adding a rhythmic element to the white noise provided by the downpour outside.

You reached for your backpack to retrieve your sleeping bag, hoping to wrap it around you like a blanket for extra warmth, but you noticed the mishap as soon as your fingers found the side compartment of your bag. The flap hung loose, and your sleeping bag underneath it was drenched.

"Fuck." You muttered under your breath.

The flap must've had come loose sometime during your sprint through the rain, which left your sleeping bag drenched and you without a plan to warm up. With a sigh, you pulled the bunched up material from its tiny compartment and rolled it out over the floor next to your drenched clothes. You were doubtful any of it was going to be dry by morning, but the chances were still higher than if you kept it all bunched up in your backpack.

You'd slept on solid ground enough to know how cold and unwelcoming any stone surface could be, but that night, you truly understood whoever had coined the term 'stone cold'. The hard concrete against your back was drawing out more heat from your limbs than you could conjure, despite your best efforts. You had curled yourself into a ball, knees tucked tightly against your arms which were crossed over your chest. Your hands, formed into tight fists, were buried in your armpits, but it wasn't helping. Frost was settling in your every limb, slowly working its way from the tips of your extremities all the way to the core of your bones.

That's what you got for getting caught in the rain in early November.

"Hey." Joel's voice grumbled next to you, barely distinguishable over the rain splattering outside. You shifted your head and squinted at him through the dark.

He too was curled up into a human ball, but he'd extended an arm to you as if inviting you for a side-hug.

"C'mon," he said and beckoned you over with a flick of his hand.

You didn't need to be told twice. With your backpack in tow, you scooted over to him, dragging both your belongings and your butt over the dusty ice-cold floor.

"Whoa." You breathed out in surprise as you tucked yourself against Joel's side. His arm came down around you instantly, locking you in place and holding you closer to him than you might've allowed yourself. Heat radiated from his center like he secretly harbored a little white dwarf in his abdomen.

Before you could even think about what you were doing, you pushed yourself into Joel's side as much as physically possible. Your arms snaked around his waist and just barely touched on the other side, while your head came to rest below his chin on his chest, your legs all jumbled up into a big knot drawn as close to yourself as possible. It wasn't really a comfortable position, and yet it was as comfortable as you were ever gonna get.

"Are you an oven or something? How the hell are you so hot?"

Joel snorted. You could feel the low rumble of laughter vibrate in his chest that followed. "Guess that's genetics for 'ya," he retorted, and you only then realized the ambiguity of both your remarks. A lazy smile formed on your lips and you softly boxed his rib cage.

"Not what I meant," you said with half a laugh and quickly wrapped your arm back around his torso. His warmth was too delicious to give up for even a second. Already you felt ten times warmer than you'd had on your own, and that was just from a few seconds of being wrapped around Joel's middle like a jacket you had been reluctant to bring and now regretted.

"I know, sweetheart," he replied and you could hear the smile in his words. "Always been warm-blooded. S' a blessing in winter and a curse in summer. Always sweatin' my damn balls off from May to September."

"Hmm." You feigned a sound of delight. "Tell me more."

His chest vibrated once more as another round of laughter rumbled through him. This time, it was him who faintly smacked your head at your jest. "I'm serious. Ain't no fun having your balls basically stick to your knees all damn summer."

Your eyelids fluttered close as you rolled your eyes. What a charming picture he was conjuring up in your brain.

"You know, when I said tell me more? I really didn't mean that." You shook your head at the picture of a sweaty ballsack stretched out all the way to the knees. "Christ."

Joel chuckled under you. "You said I'm hot as a' oven. I didn't start this."

Mobile Masterlist

Feedback is always appreciated! If you have any requests, feel free to send them my way. I'm always happy to practice my writing! :)

[edenmemes]

arcane (s2) sentence starters

ep1 - 8. warning for spoilers !

❝ everybody wants to be my enemy. ❞ ❝ you’re our leader. they follow you. i follow you. ❞ ❝ i've seen miracles spring from the hands of mages many times, but so often, they turned to horrors. ❞ ❝ why does anyone commit acts others deem unspeakable? for love. ❞ ❝ in my experience, no one in power is innocent. ❞ ❝ i don't wanna hear another word out of your mouth. ❞ ❝ i keep telling myself that you're different. but you're not. ❞ ❝ i haven't insulted your intelligence. do not insult mine. ❞ ❝ if you see the opening...take the shot. ❞ ❝ it's me. your vile villainess. the author of your nightmares. ❞ ❝ you have no inkling what family is to me. ❞ ❝ our paths diverged long ago. it was affection that held us together. ❞ ❝ i'm done blaming myself for your mistakes. ❞ ❝ there's one thing i know in my bones. there is no force in this world that can control you. ❞ ❝ your talents can be used to build, instead of destroy. ❞ ❝ no beast is more savage than man. ❞ ❝ i am the dirt under your nails. nothing's gonna clean me out. ❞ ❝ the dirt was on both our hands. ❞ ❝ stick your head in the dirt if you want, but this fantasy you've been living out here, it's not gonna last forever. ❞ ❝ now people avert their gaze when i roll by. ❞ ❝ still giving me the silent treatment, huh? ❞ ❝ you think it's so easy? to turn your back while your city looks to you for salvation? ❞ ❝ playing coy doesn't suit you, love. ❞ ❝ is it bad that i'm making friends with my demons? ❞ ❝ can i do the right thing for the wrong reason? ❞ ❝ ever since you dropped into my life, it's like i put on glasses. ❞ ❝ jeez, lady, you crazy? talking to dead people. ❞ ❝ sometimes taking a leap forward means leaving a few things behind. ❞ ❝ that's a past life, kid. and it was about as sweet as last year's milk. ❞ ❝ why is peace always the justification for violence? ❞ ❝ haven't i done you enough favors? ❞ ❝ i must say goodbye to this place now. to you. ❞ ❝ you got that look in your eye again. what are you planning? ❞ ❝ people have lost their heads for less. ❞ ❝ everyone in my life has changed. promise me you won't change. ❞ ❝ wrath must be met with wrath. ❞ ❝ what you've stolen…is more precious than any gold. ❞ ❝ i apologize for the intrusion. i was attempting to sneak in. ❞ ❝ address me with respect, or keep your mouth shut. ❞ ❝ this is what you asked for. heavy is the crown. ❞ ❝ and then what? you take what you need, hang me out to dry? ❞ ❝ do you realize how easy it was for me to track you down here? ❞ ❝ awful, isn't it? losing a loved one. ❞ ❝ i'm sorry. i’m not comfortable trusting our fates to chance. ❞ ❝ you think it's so easy? to turn your back while your city looks to you for salvation? ❞ ❝ whether i'm pulling the pin or not, everyone who gets close to me dies. ❞ ❝ you walk along the edge of danger and it will change you. ❞ ❝ your youth betrays you. patience is a product of age. both of which i possess in abundance. ❞ ❝ we gotta choose right now whether we're gonna throw in the towel or make a stand together. ❞ ❝ i had a different name back then, you know. ❞ ❝ when will you admit that this is just one of your fantasies? ❞ ❝ my arrogance led me to take on more than i could handle. ❞ ❝ such force must be a final resort. ❞ ❝ in my experience, only guilty men answer accusations with silence. ❞ ❝ every time it seems like we might catch a break. ❞ ❝ you're a monster. why? why do all this? ❞ ❝ i must ask you to surrender your weapons. this is a place of peace. ❞ ❝ i still think it's a dumb idea. but i guess you won, and a deal's a deal. ❞ ❝ it’s nice to know there are still good ones left. ❞ ❝ i promise, it's the last offer you're gonna get. ❞ ❝ no matter what i do, i just can’t seem to die. ❞ ❝ maybe i underestimated you. maybe you have the strength i do not. ❞ ❝ you don't actually need my help. you haven't for a long time. ❞ ❝ like it or not, we're in this mess together. ❞ ❝ compassion. hate. two sides of the same coin. ❞ ❝ i have a plan. you’re not gonna like it. ❞ ❝ come closer, will you, babe? ❞ ❝ i'd feared i wouldn't have the chance to speak with you again. ❞

❝ you here to finish me off? ❞ ❝ i thought you were on our side. ❞ ❝ what is up with you? you've been out of it all day. ❞ ❝ as good as it feels to pour everyone's drink, you need to fill your own cup every now and again. ❞ ❝ you must destroy it. it corrupts. consumes. ❞ ❝ sometimes taking a leap forward means leaving a few things behind. ❞ ❝ we do not lament a warrior's death. we avenge it. ❞ ❝ for the gifted, arrogance is the ultimate threat. ❞ ❝ why do you persist? after everything i've done? ❞ ❝ you're not alone. look at my shadow right behind you like a ghost. ❞ ❝ there is nothing to gain from this senseless bloodshed. ❞ ❝ i choose wrong every time. and because of it, i've lost everyone. ❞ ❝ go. before i do something i regret. ❞ ❝ i don't wanna lose what makes me "me" chasing some wild dream. ❞ ❝ i'm gonna find a way back, with or without you. ❞ ❝ i'm sorry. i've been an idiot. and an ass. you're hurting too. ❞ ❝ one's thoughts are more easily gathered in isolation. ❞ ❝ all right, out with it. what do you want from me? ❞ ❝ hey, in case i don't remember to tell you tomorrow, you've always meant the world to me. ❞ ❝ you ever wish you could just stay in one moment? ❞ ❝ if you're here to kill me, make sure to finish the job. ❞ ❝ i think beneath that mask you're scared. ❞ ❝ i must say that since i've met you, i've truly lived. ❞ ❝ never seen you give up on anything. ❞ ❝ i have the feeling that you'll be running this place soon. ❞ ❝ i think beneath that mask you're scared. ❞ ❝ i'm choosing to fight. and i pray that you will join me. ❞ ❝ this place will grow on you. you'll see. ❞ ❝ you're never gonna give up on me, are you? ❞ ❝ i think the cycle only ends when you find the will to walk away. ❞ ❝ hating you…i've hated myself. i just don't have the energy for it any longer. ❞ ❝ greatest thing we can do in life is find the power to forgive. ❞ ❝ oh, don't get all mushy on me now. ❞ ❝ i'm always with you. even when we're worlds apart. ❞ ❝ just 'cause you're having a bad day, don't take it out on me. ❞ ❝ look at the price of your ambition. you've sacrificed everything. ❞ ❝ you taught me the best lies come wrapped in truth. ❞ ❝ i feel like i woke up in the wrong universe. ❞ ❝ oh, spare the sympathy. ❞ ❝ uh, you do realize code phrases don't work when you make them up on the spot? ❞ ❝ desperation is the doorway to oblivion. ❞ ❝ it was a mistake to come here. ❞ ❝ this will have consequences. ❞ ❝ i know it's my fault that i'm here all alone. ❞ ❝ if you choose to flee, don't stop running. ❞ ❝ go and make some mistakes. you live and you learn. ❞ ❝ let me guess. you think i'm holding myself back. ❞ ❝ i have people back home who need me. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry i haven’t been around. ❞

[koolades-world]

Obey Me Headcanons p.3

because the hurricane is currently overflowing the pool and i have a need to get the om brainworms out! p1 and p2 here :) (slight warning they are pretty old)

levi is 100% a clean and neat freak. not sure if i'm just saying this because my brother reminds me of him, but levi showers at least three times a day

asmo and mammon once made up their own language to annoy and to avoid lucifer hearing their plans for twenty years. sometimes for fun, they'll use it again and every time lucifer looks like he's having war flashbacks

thirteen loves twilight. send post

diavolo finds great joy in braid trains despite the fact that almost all of his inner circle and friends don't have long enough hair. he may or may not have tricks up his sleeve for these occasions

in his youth, satan was part of a rock band that quite literally went up in flames

belphie seems like the type to enjoy gruel

mephisto actually really enjoys photography because he's been part of the rad newspaper club for so long

the reason satan loves cats is because of mammon. cats remind mammon of lucifer, so satan grew to like them without knowing the real reason behind it

barbatos really loves cold weather, so while he'd never say anything, he enjoys it when diavolo has them take vacations to freezing temperatures

snake oil salesmen used to love beel because he'd believe every word they'd say. unfortunately for them, belphiecame along once and that marked the end of the era of snake oil salesmen

raphael will enjoy your cooking no matter what. and i mean no matter what

the first thing Luke did upon acquiring internet access was somehow find the ai voiced story times with either roblox or slime making in the background. solomon found him sobbing over one once

on the other side of the same coin, simeon really got into the ai voiced reddit aita readings with baking videos in the background (once he figured out how to use youtube shorts of course). solomon also found him crying over one once

it was after that solomon finally decided to educated the angels on the importance of not believing everything you see on the internet

believe it or not, levi is the best water drinker in the entire hol. even beel is unsure how whenever they have little competitions levi always ends up number one. however, to mc, this makes perfect sense. water is his thing!

diavolo is amused by that one video of bread falling

[sweetbunpura]

some fluff for today Yuu and Rollo at a arcade

Okay, are we talking American arcades cause there are a lot of them. Or Japanese arcades, which are just as good but feel better. But that also includes Japanese Crane game arcades.

Just for this, I'm gonna say Japanese crane and American arcade.

American Arcade:

The moment they walk in, Rollo is assaulted by the sounds of the machines and the smell of greasy foods. He had joined Yuu back in her world, and she had taken him to one of her hangout spots. While Rollo looks around, nearly disgusted with everything around him, Yuu chats up the person at the front desk and buys a pair of passes for them.

"Rolls, I got em." She holds up the cards and the two walk into the play area.

"Is everything normally this loud?" He has to talk louder to be heard over the excited yells of the other players.

"Yeah, anything to catch your attention to play the machines."

Rollo hums and the pair begin to try out different machines. He's not a fan of a majority of them, but he tries her Yuu. Any strength ones he leaves to her, a crowd gathers around the pair of them as Yuu sets a high score. When they get hungry, they order some of the greasy food, which has Rollo's stomach turning. The pair of them leave sometime later and he feel like he can breath again.

"Alright, so we know what you don't like." She laughs and holds his hand as they walk along the crosswalk as the sun begins to dip behind the beach they're across from.

He sighs and placed his handkerchief over his mouth "It was foul in there."

Yuu kisses his cheek and a blush appears on his face. "I know, let's head home. We can chill in the pool and watch some TV." She fishes her car keys out of her pocket and spins them around on her finger.

Rollo nods and climbs into the car once she unlocks it. If this was one of her spots, he's almost afraid to see what the others entail.

Japanese Crane Game Arcade:

Things are far quieter in here as Yuu drags Rollo into a Crane Game Arcade. She had returned to Japan to grab some stuff she had missed and Rollo tagged along with her. While Yuu paid to get some of the coins, he looked further into the Arcade. People were at the machines, trying to win whatever prize they were trying to seek. Once Yuu had the amount she wanted to spend, she pushed him inside with a smile on her face.

"Okay, so, just put a coin in and try to grab the prize." She explain as she set him infront of a plush machine.

"Are these those machines that Idia was complaining about?" He stares at the gray owl plush inside. "The ones that he says 'cheat'?"

"American ones cheat, these don't cheat as much." She handed him a coin. "Go ahead."

He takes it, puts it in and tries for the plush. It slips through the claw's grip and he frowns.

"Are you sure these don't cheat?"

Yuu laughs and hands him another coin. Rollo finally gets the plush on the fourth attempt and Yuu cheers for him. They hop from machine to machine and collect price after prize. While Yuu is distracted with trying to get a figure of what Rollo sees is a tall man dressed in a blue outfit with long white hair, he turns his focus to a plush machine. Inside is a white dog like creature that he remembers seeing that was a good chunk of Yuu's room.

He counts up the amount of coins in his hand and decides to try his luck. Rollo gets the plush on the first attempt and fishes it out of the machine.

"Neuvillette, why must you hurt me this way..." Rollo hears her grumble as he joins her side with the plush in his hands.

"Love."

"Hmm?" She turns away from the machine and sees the puppy plush. "My boy!" She takes it and hugs it close. "Cinna~"

While she's hugging it, Rollo makes a few adjustments to the claw and wins the figure for her. She has to hold off on screeching as she hugs him and smothers him in kisses. They leave the arcade with a ton of items and head for the subway.

"Is there room for all of this?"

"This is why you bring extra suitcases."

[n0tamused]

HOLY SHIT FUCK ME SIDEWAYS THAT DRAGON WUWA POST?????? EMUACH

thoughts on dragon calcharo and scar tho??? if u have any,,,, if not, its oki too take ur time😚

A/n: HELLO NOBUUU!!! <3 I'm so happy you liked the first part oml, and I'm more than happy to give a part two to that as well! I didn't expect people to ask about my OC too, but that's really sweet and decided to include her at the end too :,) Hope you enjoy! Lemme know if you guys want anyone else as dragons, HSR, Genshin or Wuwa

Contents: Calcharo, Aalto, Scar x reader, Encore (strictly platonic familial stuff), Jien(oc), fluff, dragons

Wuthering Waves characters as dragons pt.2

Calcharo:

-Another dragon that is a long way from his home and closely related to the dragons of the New Federation. 

-Not the one you see around too often, as he does tend to avoid civilization where he can, even avoiding flying if that would get him too much attention, but honestly he is really pretty to see in flight-

-He is scarily beautiful, and some people managed to catch a picture or two of him in flight from afar, so it’s one of those blurry “is it a unicorn” pictures that people spread around like wildfire

-Due to his lack of contact with others, a lot of ghost tales began to circulate around him, and gossip has it that he wasn’t born as he looks now. People say he was born pure as snow, but somewhere down the line, the gods cursed him, and now he physically bears that curse in the shape of tough black scales that spread over him unevenly, and the golden star on his chest is said to be the only place a blade can pierce him. A few courageous, or rather stupid, individuals did try to test this theory for glory and money that an anonymous bidder has set on Calcharo’s head. But those people were never heard from again.

-The climate around Jinzhou is not his favorite, so he tends to retreat into the mountains a lot where there’s a cooler breeze and colder caves to rest in properly. His mane helps him with regulating body heat, but it is in no way made for summer heat.

-It is said that Calcharo and Jiyan are in amiable talks with one another, with both patrolling the territory of Jinzhou and protecting it in their own ways. Two sides of the same coin, as one would say. Jiyan has also made attempts at bringing Calcharo to meet the others, to get to know the people, and when he did Calcharo was rather reluctant to leave his dragon form, and he walked there in his towering form. But when he was met with wonder, warm welcomes and greetings and with some small pushing from Jiyan, he caved in and showed the people his human form as well. Sure, there was some reluctance in people’s eyes as well, but their General vouched for this newcomer and told them of the feats he accomplished in the name of them or their protection, and they had faith in their General Jiyan.

-From that point on, the ghost tales did lessen, and the children of Jinzhou seemed to find it easier to wander further into the woods, and the adults found it easier to relax with two of the strongest dragons patrolling the territory. 

-However, Calcharo wouldn’t be able to cover all that vast territory alone, and from a long while ago he has pulled a few trusted ones into his fold and under his wing. 

-Be it other dragon folk like him, or regular people, he has many ears and eyes all over the lands, to the point he doesn’t even need to leave his mountain cave to know what goes on in the city at the foot of the mountain. Due to this, even if people began to regard him as an ally, they still do not dare to provoke him in any way, and criminals have begun to walk on their tip toes, afraid to poke one of Calcharo’s spies or men that he was so protective of. 

-Calcharo doesn’t hoard much of anything in his caves. Perhaps some weapons, but for the most part it is all barren. Sometimes moonlight shines into the cave from some hole in the ceiling of the cave, making his mane the color of beaten silver, and making all his markings go pale. He nearly looks covered in snow, pure white again.

-He doesn’t like you traveling so far up the roads just to see him, but if you do, he does keep you around for a few days to make your journey worth it. In that short time you stay with him, you find his cave gets quickly filled with supplies necessary for you to have an enjoyable/comfortable time.

-He doesn’t often nap or sunbathe, he also claims the sun hurts his scales. Due to their uneven thickness and distribution, one part of him could benefit from a bit of the sun, but the other would just start burning. 

-Although he looks like he is constantly scowling and sneering, he does greatly appreciate your presence. The quiet around, and the exploration you two seem to undertake suddenly seems more lively and worth the time to look at.

-Be it that you’re dragonkin or just a human, he does take you for a flight. Sometimes he does this if he is mid patrol or mid mission and he can’t just keep you behind. He knows he has what it takes to defend you, so he doesn’t mind you tagging along.

-His mane is also  free real estate bed, go ahead and bury yourself in it and while you’re at it you can also use another strand of his long mane as a blanket.

-He smells fresh too.

Aalto:

-One of the friendliest dragons, and he certainly looks the part as well with how soft he may look and behave. He is the dragon people see a lot around, and some claim he brings down the morning mists and others say he can wash clouds away with his wings to make way for the sun, but that’s all folktale. He can create mist and make his escape safe and quick, or his attack, but he finds fun in other folktales that surround him.

-Due to his breed, he really doesn’t look fit for battle, and many dragons misjudged him for his lack of limbs that could otherwise serve in a fight. But, naturally, they are wrong about him. 

-While Aalto lacks in mass, size and limbs, he makes up for all of it in agility, speed and intellect, using whatever environment is around him to his advantage, and you’d be surprised how much strength his talons have. 

-He has a lot of power in him for a seemingly “weightless dragon”.

-Aalto is also often seen near or around little Encore. And when she begins to stir trouble, or trouble finds them, he is quick to snatch her up in his talons like an eagle snatches a fish out of a lake, and flies off into the mist to disappear

-Aalto is also not the one to hide in his dragon form. He understands that he is already perceived as “weak” to some extent, driving some to believe he isn’t even worth attacking, and so he sees it as no harm in indulging in human activities as well, which also have their own merits and advantages, especially in his field of work. How else is he supposed to get all that information if he is this one big stumbling beast? Come on! This is Aalto! He knows way better than to let gossip stop him.

-Even if the gossip was the other way around, he would be sure in his skills to take on whoever goes after him. His senses are as sharp as a blade, and he does notice a lot even if he doesn’t let it on, especially since he doesn’t let it on.

-He has quite a characteristic chirp in his dragon form, it is a really sweet and comforting sound and can sometimes mean playtime, and he often uses it when Encore is around or some other kids that he is around with in that moment.

-Although he is very well met with people all around the place, he does his best to not let any of them get under his skin and worm themselves in his heart, as such could mean potential danger in his missions. So while he is surrounded by people, he does sometimes feel left out and alone.

-You seem to melt all that away though, standing at his side and twining your fingers with his before taking him to get food or drinks, saying how much his absence was noted, not just by you but by others as well. The lady that lives next to you that has grown accustomed to seeing Aalto come to your door with gifts and meals has begun to ask if he left you, already preparing a mouthful of scolding words, but upon your reassurance that he was simply working, she quieted down. And the kids in the streets began to wonder where their “sky dragon” had gone off too. They do this every time, no matter how many times he leaves for work.

-His mane isn’t fur, and although in some places his feathers give the illusion of fur, they’re just fine and thin feathers that are also well kept and clean. You can swear the mist has something to do with it. 

-Aalto often does leave behind a feather or two for you to keep before a trip, and slowly this big vase in the back of the house is starting to overflow with giant feathers of your lover

-He brings you other gifts too, some of them big so they only fit in your yard, and others smaller that fit inside your house

-He is quite the cuddly dragon with you, but be warned he does love to snatch you up and take to the skies when you least expect it

Encore:

-Make way for Encore! This sweet little baby brings a lot to the table, even much more than any other dragon ever - Aalto probably 

-She is the sweetest, and she is such a ball of energy, it can be hard for anyone to keep up with her. She loves to play with other children that are around, usually giving them rides on her back since she is still a bit big in comparison to a grown adult, let alone a small child. She dares them all to stay on her back while she jumps and bucks and  rolls around- which, hey, can be dangerous and Aalto makes sure there is no rolling at least unless they want someone to become a human pancake

-Due to her age, her scales have only now begun to grow and form, making them soft and easily damaged. Aalto tends to get Encore to spend more time in human form than dragon form, just for safety sake. But at the moment, due to the exact reason for her scales forming, she has to spend more time as a dragon to give her scales proper space and time to grow and develop.

-Her friends give her all sorts of gifts, bows and sweets and clips, and they help her comb her hair since it is now harder for her to do so..etc

-The two sheep plushies she usually carries in her human form are now like ants in her claws but she still has them following her, like flies compared to her

-She is a restless sleeper, and usually goes to power naps in some warm grass, giving Aalto a heart attack when he just disappears, but she is back quickly enough, hopping like a deer through grass. 

-The creatures of the woods both love her and fear her. Love her since she is a lot more like them and is respectful, but she is just too loud and during playtime can get a bit rough

-Here comes Aalto to snag her up.

Scar:

-Scar is another kind of dragon that hasn’t been seen around before, at all really. He is one of a kind, and quite scary while he’s at it too. Not only is he a giant, but his horns give him such a haunting appearance. If you were to see him in the night, his towering shadow and giant horns paired with four glowing eyes staring into your soul, you wouldn’t feel the best y’know

-He tends to wander, but seems to leave no traces behind him. One day he may be in the south, and the next he is down at the coastline near the northern cities.

-From some angles he looks rather disfigured, but if he allows you to approach him, you can see that all his bones are, in fact, in their place and he isn’t broken - he just hyperflexible-

-One sound he just loves to do is that one that is akin to a laughing hyena + cougar, he mixes the sound to the point you can only just shiver or tense up. On that topic, he is quite able to mimic many sounds and make new ones, and again - this is his favorite activity to do, especially when there’s people around to spook or run off from the territory 

-I mentioned he has four eyes. The bigger pair serves for normal vision, just like you and I, but they are also eyes for a predator, while the smaller pair are more for panoramic views. Although he can hardly be classified as a prey animal, he was a small lamb once too, and had to keep watch out for bigger predators.

-Although he doesn’t breathe fire, he also has a way of manipulating flames and creating them. The ends of his clothes that hang from him sometimes catch fire, giving him an haunting look as he is mid battle and burning himself - but the flames never touch him to hurt him,

-He doesn’t lack in limbs, and he especially is more than useful in both combat and scaling mountains and rocks. He can grab and kick and slash and bite. What more is there?

-Just like with any other dragon that isn’t in much contact with humanity and that looks as scary as him, a lot of people have woven different stories about the goat dragon. It’s mostly parents scaring their children with these tales, saying how the goat dragon will snag them if they stay too late outside or if they wander too far off.

-Some other stories include details of his origin. Some adventurous spirit found old cave paintings that show a black lamb and a big herd, and so they say he was a sacrifice himself. That the form they sometimes glimpse is nothing more but a vengeful spirit that seeks those who harmed him.

-Scar can’t fly, but he can float a bit, but he can also jump really high so watch out for that.

-He also lacks a lot of scales besides for his front claws.  He may be the only dragon that’s fluffed up as he is.

-For practicality sake, he doesn’t often do his things and missions in human form - it’s just way easier to swoop in like this beast, scare off the enemy and take their things, rather than chit chat and try to get through their stubborn heads.

-He does taunt them while he attacks with those sounds he makes, and sometimes, to lure a particular person out, he does imitate the voice of someone they’re close to.

-Sometimes, he is able to morph his skull to represent the skull of a goat, but those are just illusions and not real.

-Honestly, his fut is quite nice to the touch, although the big mane is a bit coarse and really thick 

-Although the woods are the best place for hiding and stalking, his horns often get stuck on branches and plants, so he prefers open fields for this reason

-Picks you up, carries you around, just unprompted. “You’re my friend now” meme,and there’s you dangling from his claws while he goes off who knows where

-Clingy in his sleep, so clingy. You have to be present or else. Else what? No clue, but you prefer not to be chirped at in the middle of the night, even if you know it is him making all that scary noise

Wuwa Jien:

–A dragon that seems to have been slumbering for the last several centuries, or else people simply believe her to be really old. Her slumber has paused her growth, but her scales still grew hard and impenetrable. Her claws are dark gold and leave behind a faint glimmer on things or dragons she slashes with them. 

-She is another dragon that doesn’t often interact with civilization, and just prefers to keep to her woods and fields. People began to claim that leaves grow greener while she is within the woods, and winters never last too long there either. For this, people do respect her and just leave her be. Although she isn’t social, she doesn’t shy away from people if they stumble into each other. Some people have come across her as she is laying down on some big boulder, resting or soaking in some sun, others have been there as she flew overhead, and she didn’t deny giving help to lost or distressed souls that find their way to her territory

-She is still quite formidable, and similarly to Aalto, she makes up for her lack of size with intellect and strategy

-She is another dragon that can breathe fire, like Mortefi. Her flames are really pale, almost golden and burn even hotter than Mortefi’s fire.

-Some people may find trees marked with her teeth, and some say it’s because she is marking her territory, while others say she is growing even more teeth.

-Jien is quite territorial though, and isn’t too happy when many people come and go, and even less when other dragons do so. She is quite tolerable though. She has patience and grits her teeth when someone tresspasses, giving them a chance to leave swiftly, but can sometimes make some noise to give warning to the unwanted visitors - primarily dragons. The only humans she’d give such hard treatment to are those that harm nature and litter or do any other sort of harm or are scheming to do so.

-There is a story that some people like to say that involves the General Jiyan, and it speaks of how the General went to her woods to seek her out for some assistance, but as he did arrive in the middle of the night and sh didn’t recognize him, she nearly clawed his lungs out. But from that encounter and onward, there were no fights between the two, and the army of Jinzhou never lacked in herbs from then either

-Loves to fly, and can often be seen gliding over her woods, and sometimes Jinzhou city and the surrounding mountains. It isn’t often for her to travel too far, but on rare occasions she goes to Mt. Firmament, which is more often in summer, she brings back a huge block of ice with her

-She has this big pool in the rocks of one hill, a big canopy of an oak overhead - it is a natural spring in which she is known to bathe in, and also perfect for her size.

-Doesn’t shy from human form either, and similarly to Mortefi - she prefers to do her paperwork and smaller business with human hands which are more precise, rather than claws. 

Size chart and trivia:

Calcharo is the biggest one in this lineup, having both size, mass and height to him, and can easily be classified as a war dragon as well

Scar is next in line, but he is much more lanky in comparison to Calcharo

Aalto is bigger than Jien but she has him beat in the strength department

Encore, of course is the smallest one here, Aalto can easily grab her in one talon and carry her off

So far, size wise the chart would be Geshu Lin> Jiyan/Calcharo>Scar>Aalto>Jien>Jinhsi>Mortefi>Encore

Tried to base Calcharo on a more wolflike anatomy/patterns since it suits him imo. So he has shorter claws that also look like paws

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[joejhang]

nathaniel wesninski vs neil abram josten

something that fascinates me abt the aftg books is the nathaniel vs neil dichotomy. so i'm gonna analyse and dissect it like a completely normal and fine person. spoilers ahead !!! continue at ur own risk

i feel like the fandom has the wrong idea abt nathaniel and neil; they aren't foils, they're mirrors. they're a lot more similar than i think the fandom likes to acknowledge. and i actually don't think neil himself has too much of a problem with that.

allow me to elaborate. neil isn't scared of nathaniel, and nor is he very sensitive about his father. he actually references his father sometimes as a defence mechanism ("you think i'm afraid of your knife? i'm the butcher's son.") his feelings towards his father are, i'd say, deep-rooted fear and resentment. this has to extend somewhat to nathaniel, given how deeply entwined nathaniel wesninski is with both the butcher (neil's childhood abuser, the one person he truly fears) and mary hatford (also one of neil's abusers imo but their relationship is a lot more complex), both of whom neil says he doesn't want to become like. but he also says it might be inevitable that he is a little bit like them anyway (he's right).

i think this is how the fandom differentiates between nathaniel and neil; nathaniel is cold-blooded, ruthless, analytical, a criminal mastermind. nathaniel wesninski sealed the deal for his own survival with ichirou moriyama. nathaniel wesninski endured the torturous conditions in the baltimore house. nathaniel wesninski watched the butcher of baltimore brutally murder a man in front of him at ten years old in castle evermore. nathaniel wesninski followed his mother on the run for eight years, twenty-two cities, sixteen countries and a dozen fake identities. nathaniel wesninski watched as his mother left bodies and sacrifices in their wake for their own survival. nathaniel wesninski orders hits on the people who have hurt the people he loves. more than once, others in the series note that neil will always be nathaniel wesninski at heart (ichirou, jean) and neil doesn't correct them.

neil josten, on the other hand, is scrappy and messy and impulsive. neil josten has sharply honed survival instincts that he throws away at the first chance of getting to live a real life. neil josten chose to stay at palmetto state university with the full knowledge that he would get himself and many others killed. neil josten clocked r*ko's shit on live tv and at the fall banquet. neil josten trusted a five foot nothing goalkeeper with his life for a year. neil josten saw the opportunity to do what he loved, even if it would kill him, and he took it. neil josten isn't afraid to run his mouth, be it to a teammate who overstepped or a reporter broadcasting on national tv. neil josten doesn't think about the past or the future but lives in the moment, all consequences be damned. neil josten gets to know and starts to care about the foxes even though he knows he shouldn't.

in short; nathaniel wesninski is ice all the way through, unapologetically the butcher and the bird's son, and neil josten is all fire, a young man and a runaway who chose living over survival and friends (family) over safety.

that's the dichotomy, but i actually think people don't realise that they're two sides of the same coin. i don't mean like "neil is nathaniel is nathan" i mean like neil chose to be neil josten, with full knowledge and agency, but that doesn't change that he was nathaniel first. in the fandom's declawing of neil, they forget that he's still the butcher's son, and he isn't afraid to show his teeth.

"neil josten" doesn't exist on his own. he is a product of neil's time with the foxes. neil says himself, at the beginning of the series, neil josten wasn't a person, just another identity that could be discarded at the drop of a hat. it was the foxes that made "neil josten" a real person. they pulled out from that facade the parts of neil that "no disguise could change". neil's character arc from the scared nobody at the beginning of tfc to the brave and happy young man at the end of tkm wouldn't have ever happened without the foxes' influence on his life. that pivotal narration change from neil to nathaniel in tkm is in a sense, neil shielding the foxes and the person he was around them from the cruel reality of his past. the identity of "nathaniel wesninski" is real and undeniable, already bloodstained from his brutal childhood, and untouched by the foxes, and so can't really be ruined by his father's hand (sweet mourning lamb, there is nothing you can do, it has already been done). everything that happened in baltimore, from the legal name change to neil and andrew's conversation in the car ("can i really be neil again?" "i told neil to stay. leave nathaniel buried in baltimore with his father.") is more of a decision to choose a new life than it is a new identity. "can i really be neil again?" is neil asking if he's really escaped his past and he can truly stay with the foxes and be who he was around them freely. and andrew's "leave nathaniel buried in baltimore with his father" is more of an assurance to let neil's bloody past go in favour for a new and better life.

note: "let go" does not mean forget or disregard or lose. it just means to accept it but move on. this is important i promise.

after that, neil is able to continue freely in his life. wait no he's not. ichirou comes to find him. right.

the neil and ichirou conversation is one of the most interesting in the series. it says a lot more about neil's character than people seem to notice. neil actively "switches" into the persona of nathaniel wesninski specifically for that conversation. something about how every word has to be true and it has to be the biggest lie he's ever told. neil's switch to nathaniel is a little jarring and a little uncanny. the way he speaks is pure business, coldly rational and disconcertingly subservient to ichirou (disconcerting because of how adamantly neil refused to submit to r*ko and testuji and even his father's people). but it's interesting because it's still neil josten speaking. the narration doesn't change, and the way neil talks is still very much himself, just honed and polished to suit the man ichirou thinks he's speaking to. ichirou wasn't looking for neil abram josten, starting striker for the psu foxes, he was looking for nathaniel wesninski, the only son of the butcher of baltimore. neil knew this, and knew he had a part to play and he plays it so easily it actually fucking works. he isn't even afraid of ichirou. everything he says and does in that scene is careful and thought-out and logic-based, but there is no fear. all of neil's fear in the aftg series quite literally is caused by his father, and can always be traced back to him. since nathan is dead at this point, neil isn't fearful of ichirou, just cautious.

the narration change in tsc is also notable. jean thinks of neil as nathaniel wesninski until the foxes beat the ravens and r*ko dies. this is significant because the idea of "nathaniel wesninski" is also deeply entwined with the perfect court. if neil had signed with the ravens he would've been nathaniel wesninski (03) not neil josten. but once r*ko is dead and once tetsuji steps down, the perfect court no longer exists, and neither does the phantom partner jean was clinging to all these years. there is no nathaniel wesninski (03), no forever partner for jean, even though he has nathaniel's auburn hair and ice-blue eyes and cruel smile, he doesn't have the mark of the perfect court anymore and r*ko and tetsuji aren't around to reinforce that delusion so for jean, now there is only neil josten.

still, he also says later on that neil is a wesninski at heart. neil doesn't really take this personally, from what we can tell. killing a rapist isn't something particular to neil or nathaniel, he would do it whether he was neil abram josten or nathaniel wesninski. but the method, the subtlety, writing the numbers on a napkin, handing them to his mobster uncle, that is such a nathaniel-characteristic thing to do that jean comments on it. neil might have problems with wearing his father's face and his father's smile, but he never denies the truth that he is a little like his father (referencing his hot temper), and he isn't hurt or offended by jean's comment.

this post is getting way too fucking long, even for me, so i won't go into the "abram" of it all, but just know there's something to be said about that, too. i just think the fandom takes the whole "leave nathaniel buried in baltimore" thing a little too literally. nathaniel isn't gone for good, he will always be a part of neil, but neil's accepted that and moved on. he's living his best life, doing what he loves with people he loves, and even tho he does act a little bit like a wesninski at times, he's come to terms with who he is and who he chose to be: neil abram josten.

[ilguna]

Can I get 6 and 23 from list 2 with Finnick please?

☼ sunburst (Finnick Odair) ☼

warnings; swearing, gun use, blood mention, ehh gore.

wc; 2.5k

prompt; 6. "I know, it hurts. I'm so sorry, but we have to get this out." AND 23. "You need to keep your eyes open. Just a little longer."

--

When you were recruited to be a part of the mission to storm the Capitol, you were under the impression that you’d actually be in some danger. You spent weeks training in District Thirteen, thinking that you were going to be running for your life every waking moment. It was supposed to be more like being inside of an arena, than a walk on the bad side of District Four.

Both of which you can handle, for the record.

What you can’t handle is the boredom that comes with being a member of the Star Squad. While you were told you’d be at the front lines with the rest of the rebels, the reality is that you’re stuck days behind them. President Coin is too afraid of putting their precious Mockingjay into danger.

It’s an interesting concept, considering that Katniss has expressed no issue in the past surrounding the idea of putting her life on the line. The first time she did this was when she wanted to get sent to District Eight, an active battlezone, to see the citizens there. The next time was District Two, where a gun was held to her head, and she still proceeded to give a speech, and got shot for it.

You suppose that’s the exact problem, though. She can be a magnet for trouble, whether she intends to be or not. In that case, you’re not sure why they didn’t tell you that you’d be stuck here with a mixed group, beforehand. You might’ve changed your mind and found a different way to help the rebellion.

And it’s not like you haven’t tried to have patience, because you have. It’s been severely run thin by the propo team—a camera crew from the Capitol, their only job being to film videos to slice together to show the districts. Their incessant need to get a shot of absolutely everything that’s going on has got you beyond irritated.

They’re so demanding with it, and all it is is a bunch of bullshit. They want you to walk down the street the right way, looking fierce and in the middle of battle. When in reality, there’s no one for a several mile radius, and all the threats are being given away by the Holo. A device that was made to tell you where the traps, the pods, are. 

If you could, you’d tell them that you’re done participating, but you really have no choice. You’ve been seen in so many of their other videos, that it’ll make the districts and the Capitol question why you’re not in the rest. Either they’ll think that you died, or that you’ve decided the rebellion isn’t worth fighting for.

Which isn’t true in the slightest. You just think that it’s morally wrong to be back here, pretending like you’re fighting, when the faceless rebels at the front lines are the ones almost getting killed everyday. You want to be up there, with them.

The rebels ahead don’t set off all the pods, though. They leave the mild ones behind, marking them as such, assuming that the group behind them will take it out when they pass. That group happens to be you.

Sometimes, Boggs, the squad leader, will see a pod on the Holo, so he’ll ask for volunteers to set it off, naturally. You don’t even know what the point of raising your hand is, anymore. He won’t call on you, or Finnick, or Katniss. He keeps his attention on the District Thirteen trained soldiers to do the important tasks.

Despite the fact that you had, once again, spent weeks training to be able to do something like that. 

What will happen is that Katniss will pretend to set off the pod with an arrow at a distance, to keep her from getting hurt by accident. While a soldier off to the side will trigger it. This makes the rest of you all duck for cover, afraid of whatever the pod has to offer. And when it’s all said and done, and you’re ready to move on, the next step is to reenact your reactions to defending yourself from whatever threat came out of the pod.

It’s been four days of this, and it’s driving you crazy. You’ll spend a few hours pretending to fight, and then return to camp for the rest of the night, safely out of harm's way. It’s taking everything in you not to ask Boggs to leave to go back to the Nut, where the rest of the rebel soldiers are. Maybe there, you can get reassigned.

The problem would be convincing Finnick to go with you, because he doesn’t mind being in the Star Squad. He thinks it’s great, because that means you’re not in any immediate danger. After what they did to Peeta, the last thing he wants is for the Capitol to potentially get their hands on you, or for you to die.

Neither of which you plan on letting happen.

The only way you’ll be able to get him to leave is if you do it without bringing it up to him first. Cut out the whole conversation on how he’d prefer if you went with Coin’s plan, instead of making your own. He has a way with words, and he knows this. That’s why your resolve can crumble in the matter of fifteen minutes, all because he’s the one reasoning with you.

That’s what you’ll do tonight then; you’ll go talk to Boggs.

The Holo begins to beep loudly, warning your squad that you’re coming close to a pod. Boggs slows his pace, opening it up to take a look. When he comes to a full stop, so do you.

A sigh escapes you, Finnick glances over, watching as you turn around to take a few steps away. This is the fourth pod that you’ve come across today, meaning that Boggs will probably call it a day after this. Even though you’ve covered more distance today than you have the past three.

“The Holo says it’s going to be a swarm of muttation gnats.” Boggs says, “Who wants to hit it?”

You turn to face the squad, watching as almost every hand flies up, with the exception of you, Finnick and Katniss. Even Gale, Katniss’s best friend from Twelve, has his hand raised. You think he’s been tasked once, which is the hope he’s probably holding on to.

Regardless, Boggs motions at one of the Leeg twins. “Leeg, I want you. The rest of you, go find someone to stand in the meantime.”

You cross your arms over your chest, shaking your head. “Predictable.”

“Come on, (Y/n).” Finnick grabs the underside of your arm, pulling you with him to the other side of the street.

The pod is disguised as an electrical box on the side of an orange shop. If it weren’t for the Holo, you wouldn’t have suspected a thing of it, but that’s the whole point. The pods are hidden in plain sight, meant for your eyes to glance over them, so that they can kill you later on.

The best the Capitol can do is gnats?

“Okay, Katniss, we’ll focus on pulling the arrow back, and holding it.” Cressida begins, she’s the one that has the specific propo visions. If this doesn’t go according to her plan, she’ll rework it and have Katniss do it over again until it’s right.

“Just a regular arrow?” Katniss asks, reaching back to grab one.

“No, we’ll have Leeg set off the pod, and then you’ll use an explosive arrow to kill the gnats.” Cressida says, looking at Boggs. He gives her an approving nod.

“What happens when that shot isn’t good enough and we have to start over?” You mutter, Finnick bumps your shoulder.

“I know you’re unhappy, but can we please not make enemies out of the people that could save our lives?” Finnick asks.

You look at Finnick, “I’m not making promises I won’t keep.”

You watch as Cressida gives Katniss directions on where to stand and how to hold her bow. This gives the cameramen, Castor and Pollux, enough time to find their angles, because realistically, there won’t be an opportunity for reshoots. With one of them on Katniss, and the other on the pod, Cressida gives Boggs the go ahead.

“On the count of three, Leeg.” Boggs tells her. Finnick adjusts his footing, prepared to duck if necessary. You don’t move from where you stand, staring dead at the pod. “One, two, three!”

Leeg shoots at the pod, piercing the metal that encases the gnats, leaving bullet holes. The sound of metal on metal screeches through the quiet street, as the door swings open, releasing what’s inside.

A startled scream comes from you as piercing pains hit you all across your body, throwing you back onto the ground. The back of your head slams against the cement of the sidewalk, causing you to squeeze your eyes shut, as the world begins to spin.

“(Y/n)?” Finnick’s voice wavers.

The punctured points in your body begin to deepen, as the shrapnel from the box begins to burrow in your skin. You grunt, writhing, eyes opening suddenly to see it for yourself.

It’s not shrapnel, they’re metal darts, and they've got claws that are digging into your skin.

“No!” Someone cries.

“We need the medic team!” Jackson barks, her voice is clear. “We’ve got two down, Boggs!”

“Copy.” He says.

From what you can tell, you got a brunt of the hit, a consequence of not taking cover like you were instructed to. There’s over a dozen of these, stuck in your body, going deeper as the seconds tick on.

“Get them out.” Your voice is rough, as you reach to grab one. “Get them out of me!”

“(Y/n), honey—” Finnick seizes your hand, keeping you from doing it. “Stop, leave them.”

“They’re in me!” You cry, “They’re going to kill me.”

“We can’t take them out. We learned this, remember? They’re stinting the blood, we have to wait for—”

“No, she’s right.” Katniss is standing at your feet. “Look at them.”

You don’t want to, not when they all move at once, ripping your skin open further. You can see the brief stream of blood in the air, before it’s gone, covered by the dart. It’s not large enough to block the chunk of skin it’s pulled from your body, though, because the blood begins to pool, quickly.

“Shit.” Finnick says.

There’s a girl crying, when you lift your head to see, you find that it’s the other Leeg sister, on her knees, next to the first one. The one that had shot at the pod, now has a dart sticking out of the side of her head. It’s already found her brain.

She’s dead.

You begin to breathe heavier when you realize that this will be your fate, too, if they don’t start to pull them out. Which must be the same conclusion that Finnick comes to, because he rolls back his sleeves, hands hovering over one of them.

You grab the heel of his shoe, knowing that you’ll need something to hold on to. He gives you a look, and you nod quickly, urging him to do it. The second that his hand is around the dart, it begins to wiggle. To keep it from going further, he yanks.

You scream, throwing your head back, body tense, as the entire world goes white. It clings on, refusing to be pulled off in just one attempt. 

“Stop!” You tell them, “Stop!”

“Katniss, I need help.” Finnick says.

She drops her bow without question to get to her knees to help him. You watch through blurred tears as she holds the dart while he pries the claws apart. It’s like a thousand needles jabbing into your skin repeatedly, refusing to leave the area alone.

And then they get it free, and the first tear slides down your cheek.

The metal clinks on the ground from Katniss dropping it. 

You can’t help the sob that breaks through your lips. This is just the beginning isn’t it?

“Hold on, honey.” He tells you.

“I don’t—”

He begins to pull at this dart, more aggressive than he was the first time. Unprepared, you cry through gritted teeth, squeezing his shoe. He manages to unhook it faster this time, but that means little to you.

Him and Katniss go back and forth, pulling them out of the areas they think will hurt the least. There’s a few times where their hands slip, which causes an indescribable pain. 

The pool of blood beneath you is growing. You can feel the puddle reach your fingers on your free hand, coating your skin in red.

“There’s only two left, (Y/n).” Finnick smooths your hair back. “These will hurt the most.”

“Just wait.” You tell him, grabbing onto the bunched sleeve.

“We can’t stop, or it’ll keep digging in.” He tells you. “Breathe, okay?”

“Finnick.” You warn, bracing yourself when he secures his hand around the metal dart, beginning to pull.

The feeling of your guts being yanked from your body, makes the dark spots at the corners of your vision come around quickly. For a moment, you’re gone, drifting off into the peaceful voice, until Finnick’s lifting your head up with one hand.

“You need to keep your eyes open. Just a little longer.” Finnick tells you

“I can’t.” You sniff. “I want to be done.”

“One more.” He tells you, lowering your head back to the ground.

“No.” Your lips tremble.

He grabs the dart, you squeeze your eyes shut. “Please! Please, please, please! It hurts!”

“I know, it hurts.” Finnick says, he doesn’t sound very happy that he has to do this to you. “I’m so sorry, baby, but we have to get this out.”

This one has decided to hold on, taking twice as long as it normally does. For a second, it almost slips out of their hands, when Finnick’s able to pry the claws open.

A faint sense of relief floods through you, but it’s gone when your body begins to tingle. “Finnick.” You whisper. With a shaky hand, you dip your fingers into one of the many wounds that will end up being scars. The exposed raw flesh against your fingers makes you nauseous.

It subsides slightly when you pull your hand out, and find an orange substance mixed with the blood.

Poison.

“No.” Finnick says, looking at Boggs, presumably. “How far out are the medics?”

“They’ll be here any minute.” He says, coming over to see better.

“They need to have an antidote ready.” Finnick’s voice echoes, bouncing back and forth in your head, as he splits into two people, then four…

Your eyes flutter shut.

--

this was part of my 3k celebration!!

[dreamsinmoonlight]

Angel Cocoon

(Blame the brain rot. I watched Hazbin and had a dream about pathetic Adam and found myself deeply in love with this asshole. I did not expect it and I feel if I don't write I will explode so have this. Probably not my best work but it was stuck in my head all day at work; I have ideas for other stuff, including a more indepth fic (might be x reader, might be x oc, haven't decided yet). Hopefully this isn't too bad though

Update: Now with a sequel, whaaaaa? Angel Massages up and running

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Characters: Adam (damned pathetic man), angel!Reader

Pairing: Adam x Reader

Genre: Comfort, fluff (not smutty? For Adam? I'm impressed by myself sometimes)

Summary: Every morning this happens. You do not mind.)

Every morning you were thankful that heaven's temperature was always perfect. Because every morning you woke up in a state that could best be described as the Cocoon.

When you first started dating the egotistical, loud mouthed, foul mouthed, perverted asshole known as the leader of the exterminators, aka Adam the first man or “Dick Master” if he could ever get his way, you had expected a lot of things. Getting your ear talked off on a regular basis, all sorts of pet names running the gambit from honestly a bit sweet (what, you liked being called sugartits) to you're-lucky-i-don't-take-you-seriously-Adam (who calls their significant other a slut, really), being expected to go to most if not all of his music gigs, occasionally having your back blown out because damn could that man fuck, learning to find some of the stupidest things funny because he managed to make it so; these were things you expected or at least got better used to. It was sort of like dating a hyperactive teenager but nine feet tall and with the strength enough to swing around a guitar-axe like it was a pool noodle. You had not had a normal day since the moment you agreed to this and you had quickly realized that that was fine by you.

But this. This you did not expect. Every morning, every single morning because God forbid you be allowed to sleep alone, you woke up not to your room, not to the ceiling or the sunlight filtering through the window or even your blankets. No, instead you woke up to the first man, first of the human angels, curled around you like you were going to disappear if he didn't hold you as tight and completely as possible. To call what he did a koala hug would be a disservice and did nothing to describe this phenomena, which upon the first morning after you had fallen asleep in bed with him you had freaked out a little over. You still were startled every time you woke up to it since. It was more like what you coined it as: a cocoon, created by the combination of two factors.

One: Adam. He was of course much bigger than you, a giant among angels and that was how you liked it. After all who didn't daydream of climbing a tree once in a while? Except this tree loved to talk and could make you feel things you were pretty sure was very much not pure. You were a good, solid four feet shorter than him, almost half his size; this worked in your favor when you wanted to hide behind him because of some stupid prank or when you again decided to climb onto him or honestly generally being picked up by the troublemaking angel which he certainly liked to do. The other side was that when he curled up his body enough it could surround you with little effort at all. Those arms of his wrapped easily around you and you could feel the fraction of true strength with which he held you, still more than enough to hold you where you were. His legs were folded up just enough to cut off escape from below, leaving you cradled against his body. His head tucked down, buried in your hair, he was warm and hairy in multiple places, and if you were absolutely honest a little overweight for someone who lived in heaven of all places. But none of these things bothered you and in the position you were in, your head pressed against his bare chest, you could hear the ever surprising existence of a heartbeat within a long dead man's chest. You felt your own calm hearing it; you couldn't help but love it.

Two: his wings. Oh those beautiful golden appendages, almost as beautiful as those golden eyes of your idiot boyfriend's. The feathers shimmered and shone near enough to rival the sun and you could see them past your prison of Adam flesh. How he could sleep so peacefully with them wrapped around you both was a mystery you spend every morning contemplating; it could not possibly be comfortable. Your own shuddered lightly on your back in sympathy but trying to stretch yours only brushed them against his and his, as they always did when this happened, quaked but did not open. He slept with them wrapped around you two like an eggshell, encasing you both and leaving no escape all around.

You reached out by instinct, running your fingers lightly along the feathers. They too were warm and soft as down yet you knew how strong they truly were, how strong his wings were like all other parts of him.

Save maybe his psyche. You felt the feathers shiver under your touch and he made a noise in his sleep, nuzzling his face further into your hair, his arms holding tighter to you. You woke like this every morning, since the first time you'd fallen into bed with him, and at first it was a mystery why, like so many things about him. How could he be so loud, how could he be so crude, how could he be so rude. But bit by bit you'd learned and you had come to understand.

He held onto you like you might disappear. Somewhere deep down that's exactly what he feared would happen. You knew about Lilith, you knew about Eve, and you knew how to read subconscious messages. He encased you like he was afraid otherwise you'd slip away, that you'd leave, that you'd go too. You woke to your head against his chest; how often had he fallen asleep with his on yours? Adam was many things, and truthful about what was really going on in his head and heart was definitely not one of them, but it didn't take a genius to know why he hated letting you out of his sight. Why he always held you like this in his sleep. Why he got enraged whenever the idea of you ever meeting Lucifer Morningstar came up.

Could you blame him? You couldn't and nor could you resist a smile as you wrapped your arms around him, closing your eyes and snuggling close to your ever-so-troublesome lover.

Sure you probably should get up soon but honestly it was hard to want to when you felt comfy right where you were. Besides it wasn't like you really minded all that much what would happen next after you both woke; he'd whine and you'd massage his sore wings. But you'd long since stopped trying to convince him to not sleep like that.

It was hard not to love being loved so deeply after all.

[bumblebeesfromvenus]

some Leon fluff where maybe the reader is famous actress and is being discrete (trying to wearing a mask and a baseball cap) enjoying her day in public and bumps into him?

Alright, alright..

But what if we make it that Leon had no idea? 👀

(The title is a word play on Hollywood, you'll get it when you read the story, I promise)

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Holly-what?!🎬

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

You needed to get out. The press tour had been dragging on for months now and the large amount of interviews and talk show attendances were starting to fry your brain.

You just needed a break to feel like a human again. No questions, no opinions, no fans. But being able to step a foot outside without being met by obnoxious paparazzi and their cameras or squealing fans. You loved them dearly, you did, but... you, too, had your limits.

You never expected to become this big, let alone work with a cast of such talented people. All you wanted was to do what you love, which, unfortunately, was acting. There were pros and cons to all things in life, but acting definitely tipped the scale into the negative side of things.

Sometimes, you missed the little theater you performed at, making good friends along the way and then going back to just being you again.

A curse and a blessing; two sides of the same coin.

With a breath, you stepped out into the city, keeping your head down. A cap sat on your a pair of sunglasses were pushed up onto your nose, a measly disguise, really, but you had to work with what you got.

You were craving for someone to look at you like a regular person and not like one whose face was plastered on every billboard in the area.

The more you walked, the more the tension faded from your drawn up shoulders. No one had talked to you yet, no flashing cameras in sight.

You were even as bold as letting yourself breathe for what felt like the first time in forever.

Your head was held higher now as you strutted through the bustling streets, perfectly content with just being ignored by everyone.

The weather was quite nice and you couldn't even remember when you enjoyed a simple walk like this. Securing yourself a refreshing drink from a little local cafe, you were on a mission to find a small botanical garden that was supposed to be lovely this time of year.

Your brows were furrowed as you desperately tried to make out which street you were on, the flyer that was starting to crease, not helping. You turned every which way and even looked for any signs, but you were unsuccessful.

Despite all your efforts, that stupid flyer was getting you nowhere. You had your nose buried in it, drink in the other hand as you just kept going straight ahead.

You'd end up somewhere eventually, right?

You did end up somewhere.

Running face first into what you thought was a wall, which turned out to be a tall man with the most gorgeous eyes you'd ever seen.

Your drink and the flyer were now splayed out on the floor and your cap was crooked on your head.

"Shit- are you okay?" He asked hurriedly, picking up the, now soaked, map and trying to salvage as much of your drink as possible.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good... are you okay?" You adjusted the cap, taking the flyer from him. He looked stressed to you, a crease between his brows.

"No, yeah, I just... had a long day, that's all." He chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. You hummed in acknowledgment.

"I'm sorry, I should've looked where I was going. The fault is mine." You apologized, holding onto the empty cup to dispose of it correctly once you spotted the next bin.

"Don't worry about it, no one was hurt." He smiled before his eyes widened at your empty drink.

"Sorry about your drink. I'll buy you a new one." He offered, although it came off more as a statement.

"Oh, no, please. You really don't have to." You chuckled, but he was already dragging you along with him.

"No, I insist. It's the least I can do." He said kindly, glancing at you with a small smile.

You were still so whiplashed from your run-in that you hadn't really registered that he seemingly hadn't recognized you.

He was treating you like he would any other person, and it made you crack a tiny smile.

"So..." he started, his hands shoved into his pockets as he led the way to the nearest place to get a drink, "judging by that god awful flyer, you're not from around here?"

You laughed at his true remark.

"No, I'm not. Just passing through." You hummed in response. He made a quiet sound of acknowledgment before there was a moment of silence between the both of you.

"Do you mind me asking what you were trying to find?" His question caught you off guard, your brows furrowing before they shot up again.

"Oh! I was trying to get to the botanical garden? The flyer said it's supposed to be lovely around this time." You smiled, trying to keep up with his pace.

Upon noticing your struggle, he subtly slowed down his waking speed.

"It is. I could... show you the way if you want?" His tone was surprisingly shy for someone like him.

"That'd be very nice....?" You slightly tilted your head, waiting for a name. His brows raised slightly.

"Oh, Leon. I'm Leon." He replied bashfully, a slight pink tint on his cheeks.

It made you smile, how such a strong and sort of intimidating man wasn't the best at social interactions.

You're doing great, buddy.

You gave him your name, your real name, without even thinking twice. Though, he still didn't seem to know who you were.

He hadn't even asked you about the odd cap and sunnies combo. A gentleman...

"Here we are." He announced, coming to a stop.

"I'll just get some drinks, and then I'll walk you to the garden. Sound good?"

"Sounds perfect, Leon." You smiled, watching him walk into the cafe.

You waved at him through the window, which he happily reciprocated with a smile.

What a sweetheart.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

The walk to the botanical garden had been simpler than you thought. So simple, in fact, that you now felt stupid.

"I can't believe I walked right past it!" You laughed, taking a sip of your beverage. Leon laughed, too, his blonde hair shining under the sun.

"In your defense, the entrance is a little hard to find if you don't know the city."

"Because there totally wasn't a huge sign plastered on the outside." You remarked, mentally face-palming yourself for missing such an obvious marker.

"Happens to the best of us." Leon smirked over the rim of his cup.

You grumbled a half-hearted fuck off with a smile.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

It was quite easy to stay in a conversion with him as you two walked along the winding paths lined by many different kinds of blooming flowers.

The air smelled sweet, and the buzzing of bees and other insects made up a delightful harmony that welcomed the summer.

You managed to spot some butterflies too admiring their colors and patterns as they fluttered from flower to flower.

Your drinks were now empty as you sat on a bench, sharing stories and laughing.

"Why all the.., you know?" Leon asked, loosely gesturing to your disguise.

You froze a little but quickly gathered yourself.

"I have... sensitive skin. And you know how harsh the sun can be. I have an event coming up, and I don't want to show up looking like a tomato." You chuckled.

"Fair point." He shrugged.

"What kind of event?"

You swallowed, feeling yourself sweat.

"Oh, just... a wedding. Yeah, a friend's wedding." You answered, followed by a tight-lipped smile.

"Oh, nice. Perfect weather." He hummed, absolutely not bothered by the obvious uncertainty and lack of confidence in your response.

You sat and chatted for a while until the sun slowly turned the sky into a beautiful painting of pink and purple.

But that's not what prompted you to leave. You didn't want to, in fact. It had been so nice to get away from everything.

Unfortunately, however, you caught the flash of a camera out of the corner of your eye.

Fucking paparazzi.

The flash slowly started to pick up as more and more people photographed you.

"Hey, Leon, do you have a pen?" You asked, shifting in your seat uncomfortably.

"Sure... why?" He questioned with a confused look, handing you the pen he'd pulled from inside his jacket.

You quickly took his arm and scribbled your number on his skin.

"Hey, what are you-"

"I had a lovely time, I really did. But I have to go now. Call me!" You rushed off, trying to make a discreet yet fast exit.

Leon was left dumbfounded sitting on that bench, wondering why the pretty girl he'd bumped into rushed off, followed by a mob of maniacs with flashing cameras.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

The next morning came faster than he wanted to, still hanging on to that feeling of sitting with you in that garden.

He was bummed out, unsurprisingly.

Leon had made sure to write down your number on something more permanent, lest he forget.

He was sipping his usual morning coffee in his favorite cafe while reading the newspaper.

When he turned over the next page, his eyes almost popped out of his hand, and he choked n his coffee when he spotted a picture that was all too familiar on the front page.

Imagine his surprise when he read the bold headline above the photo of the two of you sitting in the botanical garden;

BREAKING NEWS: Oscar nominated actress spotted with new boyfriend.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

I hope you liked it!! <3

More Leon here -> 💫

《taglist》: @vampkennedy @k-fallingstar @dmitriene @argreion @leonslittlekennedy @allysunny

Lkm if you want to be added! <3

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Top 10 Things I Love About the QL Tumblr Community 2023

I'm loving everyone's end of year lists, and decided to make up one of my own.

I haven't been on Tumblr for very long and was originally just lurking. 2023 marks the year where I finally started posting, after I read a take that made me feel compelled to come to a fictional character's defense. (Saengtai, my poor little blorbo).

So in commemoration of my first proper year of active tumblring, I present what I love about this community (in no particular order).

(Side note - Technically I know this is still primarily a BL community, but I like to say QL because I am trying to manifest more lesbians for us.)

1) The Gifmakers

Y'all are a good 70% of the reason I joined Tumblr in the first place. There are so many show moments that I want to relive, but without having to search through videos. Sometimes I want to appreciate the aesthetics. Sometimes I want to remember adorable or goofy moments. Sometimes I just want to see cute boys eating each other's faces. Our gifmakers give all of that to us, with the addition of so much creativity and style.

There's too many amazing ones to mention everyone, but I have to shout out @sparklyeyedhimbo, because the way your brain works makes me so happy.

2) The expertise

The other part of why I joined Tumblr was to learn more about what BLs were out there and what I might be missing. And holy hell. Y'all are putting in the work. Not only lists and resources for finding all kinds of QLs, like these fabulous monthly breakdowns by @gunsatthaphan, but also amazing posts that add additional context, like @absolutebl's incredibly helpful breakdown of Asian honorifics. There is so much research people do, for fun! And then they share it!

3) The meta analysis

I frickin love reading people's takes and analyses on series. I love learning, I love seeing perspectives from people with different cultural backgrounds to my own, it's all so fascinating! There's so much context we can miss due to our own privileges, or lack of knowing about various cultures, or due to whatever bubbles we've been living in. People here are just so smart, and nuanced, and willing to reflect and think about things, and also push back at each other, but generally with respect (except when you call out the dumb shit you see, usually on Twitter or TikTok, where people are being reductive and dumb about gender and sexuality).

And I've seen a few takes where people complain about analyses, and say that the director/production doesn't do everything deliberately, and we're all reading too much into it. To which I say, eh, lighten up. How people connect to and relate to media has relevance beyond what was intended. The point is we get to think and discuss and learn and grow. That doesn't happen if we don't analyze.

Special shout out here to @respectthepetty because colors mean things!

4) The wild theories

The other side of the analysis coin, the clown cars y'all drive around in with the wildest of theories. I have happily climbed into an occasional clown car, and usually I am utterly wrong (*cough* Saifah *cough*). But it's a super fun ride. I love seeing how people's brains work. I love it when y'all are wrong. I love it when y'all are right. It's beautiful.

5) Immediate acceptance

I am one of those people who knows that I have a lot of good qualities, and also, always kind of expect rejection. Blame the childhood bullies, I guess. Anyway, whenever I delve into a new space, I still feel like a total dork that no one will want to talk to. It's kind of a fraught way to move through the world, but I manage.

Anyway, I started posting my thoughts as they came up, and people are just totally cool with it. People even follow me sometimes. Even my silliest thoughts and dumbest jokes get at least a couple likes. It's so validating.

And my very silly joke about gay mafia in Kiseki has over 800 likes. I feel very seen.

6) Mutuals

I still kind of can't believe I have any. This ties in to the dork feeling above, but seriously - they are soooo cooooool. They're smart and awesome and funny, and they somehow find me worth following back, which is baffling yet wonderful. I want to squish their faces and give them many kisses (if they're into that kind of thing).

7) The self-exploration

I really appreciate how it's become more talked about how a lot of people are discovering queerness through BL, because that is so the case for me. I think it's both that I was in a bit of a hetero bubble before, and also that I'm evolving a bit as I age. I had figured out I was demi, and maybe a little bit gay, before getting in to BL, but being in this community, and seeing so many of you share so openly and freely, has made me realize it might be more than a little bit.

Either it was a new realization, or being around y'all has made me more gay. Win win, either way.

8) The weirdness

I'm weird. Y'all are weird. I love it.

9) The thirst

So many in this community are thirsty as fuck, and as someone who is in that same condition, I love that it's not just me. There are not many places where I can freely admit how horny I am as a part of my general existence.

Here? I could post about wanting to lick some random BL actor's face, and it would get a bunch of likes and some tags like #lickable, and it's just not remotely a big deal.

Also the gifmakers understand this, and give us beautiful cuts of our spicy scenes. They are genuinely too good for us.

10) The communal watching experience

There is absolutely nothing like watching along with people in the community. It is so worth the torture of having to wait week to week for new episodes. Seeing the show trend, watching the theories fly fast and furious, or the way everyone collectively loses their minds over particular moments. In a world that can feel very isolating, it's a very warm experience.

So there you go. Thank you all for being you. Here's to another year of QL shenanigans and losing our collective minds!

[crystalandbow]

PICK A PILE🤍

CALL OUT EDITION

Pile 1 is beach, pile 2 is garden, pile 3 is swans. Take the reading with a grain of salt and only take what resonates 🤍

If you liked the reading, lmk! & Follow for more

Hello pile 1👋🏻

Or should I say hello my mama bears

lol anyways let's begin!!!

The cards that you got: 2 of swords, ace of coins, the emperor and the ace of cups.

Okie so The 2 of swords really sums it up for y'all, the others cards just confirm it more. like you guys are torn between 2 options/paths/things/ whatever. Making a decision is important because It seems like this has been on your mind for some time and is bugging you ? Taking up all your mental energy/stamina. *like a vampire/jk* most of y'all already know which path you want to choose but for some reason you haven't locked in your answers is what I am feeling. And now it's time to make a decision! It might be that you are afraid for some reason, you have this fear of what if things go wrong or something like that or it might be that you are unable to make a decision because both options seem equally tempting.

I think you can choose any path because they will have decent results. The advice or call-out message is that whatever you chose to do for your situation, stick with it. Its not about the options it's about you! The reason why I called you guys mama bear is because that is how you should deal with your current situation. Chose whichever path you want, fight or flight. But stick with it! Know that what you did was absolutely okay!! You have to embody the emperor's energy (of being bold and authoritative, because it is your life, do not fall for anything that doesn't feel right )

The ace of cups tells me that you guys should make a decision using your heart ( feelings & intuition) because afterall you know what's best for you! follow your intuition/gut feeling, don't be afraid of anything YOU ARE THE EMPEROR & YOU'VE GOT IT !

Keywords: stability, bravery & action. Facing fears/oppositions, gut feeling

Ig thats it, lmk how I did and only take what resonates 🤍 have a good day/evening/night

Hello pile 2 👋🏻

Cards you got: 3 of cups, death, 2 of cups & 9 of cups

I'm getting the word "love potion" for guys, I mean we do have alot of cups *the 2,3 and nine of cups* woah! That's alot of emotions. I'm also getting the word "self acceptance" all the cards are so positive but it doesn't feel that good? Something feels heavy? And a Lil stressful yk? I think the message for you guys is opening up yourself.

Y'all might have the habit of guarding yourself, but many times sometimes you just end up over doing it, leaving you feeling sad? Y'all feel that you are different from others in a sad way and that you have to put up this "fake" self to fit in. You try to be like others / everybody around you in public and this needs to change, atleast your mindset that people won't accept you for who you are. Change is needed! Stop blaming it on other exteranl reasons. Do you even know who you actually are? Do you accept yourself? Do you love/care about yourself? Do you prioritise your needs first? Its not always others, sometimes it's our fault that we let people treat us like that! The two of cups imagery is giving me mirror energy, it looks like there's a mirror between the two peeps and they are actually the same person but also different at the same time like it's just their "other side" yk? How you view yourself, and how you let yourself be you truly. Love your inner child. Death talks about how you need to embrace all your different sides and be yourself, be unique & don't try very hard just to "fit in"

The nine of cups is here for advice and it talks about prioritising your needs first & putting yourself on the pedestal! Whether it be in romantic relationships or platonic or any relationship

Call-out message: DONT BE AFRAID TO BE YOURSELF let yourself be! Accept love, prioritise your emotional needs first!!!

Ig thats it, lmk how I did and only take what resonates 🤍 have a good day/evening/night

Hello pile 3 👋🏻

Cards you got: the strength, justice, devil & the star.

Surprisingly all major arcanas😭I really wanna know what's going on with y'all. Like what MAJOR shit is going on lmao

Anyways here's my interpretation for you guys: you guys are working hard towards some goals of yours. I'm getting the vibes that the world told you what you think or thought once upon time is unrealistic and unachieveable but to you it feels like "inner- calling". you have started working towards it and might have achieved/ overcome certain milestones and mini achievements that you should be proud about and if not then you should know that they hard work that you have put in WILL workout and you will gain the fruits for you dedication. One thing you should possibly avoid is arrogance and / or greed attachments will be different for everybody, basically avoid the temptations of the devil. Don't believe you're at the top of the world and for some it's not getting overly obsessed with results,etc. Everything will workout at the right time. The justice card over here is likely talking about getting your results. Call-out message for y'all could be to choose the path of hard work & patience instead of shortcuts and unfair means. The star card is asking you to stay optimistic regarding your work to know that it will all be worth it, you will get your answers and result just keep working hard and have pure intentions

So yeah basically, just on the right track, keeping working hard, don't fall for temptations like shortcuts, procrastination, unfair means,etc be patient and you will be good to go

Ig thats it, lmk how I did and only take what resonates 🤍 have a good day/evening/night

[notmorbid]

the berry pickers.

dialogue prompts from the berry pickers by amanda peters.

dying is something we have to do alone.

i want to be my full self for you.

whatever makes you happy makes me happy, too.

i'm not sure what's true and what's not anymore.

you never know when you might need kindness from people.

you see anything strange around here?

age brings all sorts of fears.

i think i've always known something was out of place.

you'll grow out of it. you'll forget.

sometimes i wonder if you have any sense at all.

don't worry. they can't hear us.

your only job right now is to be a kid.

when no one's looking, you can be a sweetheart.

it's funny how old you think your parents are, when you're a child.

stop trying to grow up so fast.

there are things more important in this world than taking credit.

there was love, but none of us knew what to do with it.

don't pretend you didn't hear me.

i will try my damnedest not to be sad.

it's hard, looking for someone who can't be found.

you never know what your last words to someone are gonna be.

words are powerful and funny things, said or unsaid.

some people are meant to read great works, and others are meant to write them.

you do love me, after all.

you're jealous. i need you to admit it.

i did what i thought was best: i left.

you seem taller, somehow.

hope is such a wonderful thing, until it isn't.

i never blamed you.

it's not your fault. it just happens, sometimes.

i guess i assumed i'd just wake up one day and everything would be normal again.

i've done my grieving. i can't do it anymore.

some wounds never close, never scar.

i just want to get away. you choose where.

make sure you write everything down, the good and the bad. but mostly the good.

what ghosts haunt your dreams?

are you going home, or leaving home?

sometimes i forget that you're hurting, too.

swearing can make you feel better.

anything you want to tell me?

there's something to be said for salt air.

i love you. i'm sorry i've been so far away.

i've never felt worse. i need you to know that.

i assume the universe knows what it's doing.

getting better isn't easy.

i was convinced the pain would haunt me for the rest of my life.

i was determined to let my pain and anger ruin me.

you like to find fault with everyone but your own self.

you have no right to hold onto that guilt all by yourself.

i'm sick of tiptoeing around you like you're going to break.

don't be sorry. be useful.

i've never been much of a talker.

it's not fair to be young and weak. there's no fairness to it at all.

prejudice runs deep and offers no apologies, in small towns.

you can't stay mad at me.

i didn't sleep because i was worried about you, asshole.

maybe i'm just one of those people who are only happy when they aren't.

it's not that i don't remember. it's that i don't want to.

why do you always assume you're on your own?

i remember. i didn't think you did.

people are always saying nice things about the dead, especially when their family is in the room.

sometimes a lie becomes so entrenched, it becomes the truth.

you never deserved anything i did to you.

the only person i have a right to be angry with is myself.

it wasn't because i didn't love you.

you know of any work i could get around here?

i wonder, sometimes, what i did to deserve it.

you got a story?

you seem too young to have a story of any interest.

something is making you all dark and moody.

what are you doing out here? there's a storm coming.

i don't go giving my name out to every stranger i meet.

people seem to need to get away from me.

own your mistakes. make amends and move on.

you feel things too quick and too heavy. you need to let things go, sometimes.

i'm here. it was just a dream.

i kind of hoped i would die before i had to tell you this.

i wanted to hate you, but i couldn't.

anger and sadness are just two different sides of the same coin.

time is never a friend to the sick or the old.

i don't like to see people i might know.

how are you still alive?

the lord must keep me around to amuse himself.

where is home, for you?

what's at home that's got you afraid to be there?

the only misery you're causing is your own.

i'll be honest, because i don't know how else to be.

don't worry. i'll remember for you.

i ruined myself all by myself.

i prayed you would come home to us.

what on earth have you got to be sorry for?

tell me about ___. if it's okay.

lost souls have to find their own way home.

i don't think i've ever laughed that hard in my life.