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proximaamidnightt · 3 days ago

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📄 what my dreams are made of | time and time again, eddie has seen you cry over guys that aren’t even worth your time; so, when he catches you crying once more, he decides it’s the last time — and he will show you that you’re exactly what his dreams are made of.

⚠️ 3.6k words, fem!reader, reader has a pussy, bestfriend!eddie, friends to lovers, cunnilingus, fingering, dirty talk, kinda dom!eddie, passionate eating out, chubby!coded reader (no extreme graphic depictions but certainly alluded), bullying, some triggering themes, self-doubt that eddie smothers out, 1 thigh pinch, eddie cums in his pants (i was sick while writing this please forgive me if it’s not the best)

💋 i am genuinely so, so sorry for how long this took to get out bby! i always do my best to prioritize comfort reqs, as that’s my purpose for even taking reqs and really writing in the first place, and i wish i could have gotten this out much sooner. i hope this can bring you some comfort sweetheart, you are so so beautiful!! <33

you were so fucking stupid.

so stupid for being so naive. for ever allowing yourself to entertain the fantasy that the christian grosso could ever be attracted to you.

after all, the students of hawkins high dubbed you ‘the elephant amongst tigers’ for a reason.

angry tears slipped down your face as you threw your bag to the floor, uncaring of the loud thump it provoked. your mother was downstairs and likely heard it, and she’d probably even ascend the stairs and try to rib you for information — but you couldn’t find the energy to care.

you couldn’t find the energy to feel anything aside from angry sadness. and if your mom did come check on you, you’d simply tell her you’re feeling sick. yeah, that would work.

with a huff you plopped down on the edge of your bed, upsetting the stuffies strewn along the headboard. you gave them an apologetic wince.

your mind kept replaying the lunchroom disaster. christian’s mocking, mean smirk as he held up a dress two times too small for you was branded into your eyelids.

“oooh, i’m sorry. i thought this was your size. looks like we can’t make it to the dance after all. i’m so sorry.”

fresh tears burst from your eyes and you choked down a sob. it was so mean, so humiliating, so evil… you didn’t understand what you’d ever done to deserve something like that. was simply existing enough of a crime to warrant that kind of punishment?

a soft knock reached your ears. you sucked in a shuddery inhale. you were wondering when she’d amble up to your door.

“i’m fine, mom.” you croaked out. “i just feel sick. please don’t come in.”

you really didn’t want her to see the fat, ugly tears running down your cheeks. didn’t want her to see how blotched your makeup was, especially not when you had spent a literal hour perfecting it in front of your mirror.

so. fucking. stupid.

your door creaked open and you nearly gasped at the familiar clunk of heavy boots across your planked floor. you snapped your head up to find eddie standing just through your doorway, chocolate eyes rounded and soft.

“you okay?” he asked quietly, soothingly, and your heart sunk.

he knew about what happened. he hadn’t been in the lunchroom at the time, but you knew it would reach him; it was all the student body could talk about.

you opened your mouth to reject his sympathy; but what came out was a strangled sob, and eddie was rushing to your side immediately.

warm, thick arms wrapped around your shoulders and pulled you into eddie’s equally warm body. your head was guided to his collarbone, so close to his neck that you could smell his sharp cologne; a familiar, cozy, thick woodsy scent.

he’d been wearing the same aroma since eighth grade, and it never failed to bring you a sense of tranquility and stability. comfort. safety.

you broke.

“eddie.” you choked out, digging your cheek into his chest and slipping your arm around his middle. he was warm; so, so warm. just like always.

“shh, it’s okay.” eddie soothed, ringed hand running through your hair. “it’s okay, sweets.”

your shoulders shook harder as you spilled gallons of salty tears into his shirt — his iron maiden shirt, if you weren’t mistaken.

you barely noticed the way he was rocking your body with his softly, or the weight of his chin hooked atop your head, but you were painfully aware of how good his hand felt skimming through your hair, and how comfortable the weight of it was.

“i-i don’t understand.” you gasped out between heaves. “i don’t k-know w-what i did.”

“you didn’t do anything.” eddie stated, voice firm yet gentle. “you didn’t do anything, angel. they’re just assholes.”

you weren’t sure how long you spent wrapped within eddie’s embrace; his strong arms holding you, soft voice shushing you, gentle hand caressing you — but at some point, your sobs had faded to mere sniffles.

you finally felt secure enough to pry yourself out of his embrace; eddie loosened his hold, but his arm remained over your shoulder — an anchor, should you need the support.

“i’m so tired of it, eddie.” you whispered, voice wet and croaky from all the crying. “i’m so tired of being ugly.”

your heart was breaking into a million pieces, yet also somehow felt as if it was too big to fit comfortably in your chest. every beat was painful, tightly wrapped in a ribbon of sadness.

eddie sucked in air through his teeth and muttered something under his breath; you weren’t quite able to catch it, so you nudged him with your elbow.

“i didn’t hear you, eds. what did you say?”

eddie’s eyes snapped up to yours, and you felt your heart skip in your chest. they were soft, yet had a hard edge to them, one that you couldn’t place.

“i said you’re not ugly.” eddie pushed out, anger detectable in his voice, but you knew it wasn’t aimed at you. eddie always became incensed when things like this happened.

“that prick just took things too far.” eddie seethed, drawing a ringed hand through his hair. “way too far.”

you swallowed thickly and nodded mutely, though you didn’t know if you fully agreed with eddie. after all, if things weren’t supposed to be this way, then why were they? it’s because everything, every single word and insult, that everyone threw at you was true.

“it wouldn’t happen if i wasn’t so—”

“don’t you fucking dare.” eddie snapped, cutting you off abruptly and shocking you into silence. he’d never taken that kind of tone with you. as if realizing this himself, eddie sucked in a deep breath and started again, much more softly.

“don’t say some shit about how you deserve it, or that it’s somehow your fault. it’s not. you know it’s not.”

fresh tears gathered in your eyes, and you had to look away from eddie quickly so as to not alert him to the swelling.

“but i was stupid. i let myself think he was genuine.” you countered back, wanting — no, needing — eddie to understand that in some way, this was your fault. that was the easiest way to explain it. that it was the only way that it made sense.

“stop that.” eddie ordered, fingers squeezing your shoulder. “you aren’t stupid.”

“eddie, i am.” you exploded, propelling yourself up from the bed and effectively launching eddie’s arm off of your shoulders. you began to pace as you rambled, “i’m stupid to think anyone would want me, let alone christian grosso, and i let myself get tricked into thinking that my crush actually liked me back—”

“i want you.”

the world seemed to screech to a halt right on its axis. eddie hadn’t said the words very loud — as a matter of fact, his statement was barely more than a whisper — and yet, it seemed to reverberate around your room like the boom of a bass speaker.

slowly, you turned your head to train your eyes on him. you searched his face, looking for some sort of deception, lie, fib — anything.

but all you found was pained sincerity.

“what?” you pressed, throat tight and tongue nearly tied. had you heard him right? were you having some sort of fever dream?

eddie sighed deeply and linked his hands together between his knees.

“i said ‘i want you.’ i have for a long time, actually.”

eddie’s words didn’t sound bored, or disingenuous, but they sounded almost… resigned. as if knew what little effect they’d have on you. twice. he’d said twice. yet you still couldn’t wrap your head around it.

“you — you… want me?” you parroted back, gesturing to yourself with a finger.

eddie nodded.

“are you sure?” you pressed.

eddie nodded again, more emphatically this time.

your heart was trembling in your chest — eddie actually wanted you? you? eddie, who was handsome, funny, charming, sweet, and completely and utterly unavailable due to his status as your best friend, wanted you?

no. this couldn’t be right. there must be some sort of mistake.

“but, how do you—”

“oh, jesus h. christ.” eddie suddenly bursted, pushing himself up from the bed and stomping towards you. you barely had any time to react before his hands grasped your elbows and he pulled you forward, and electricity shot through your entire body when he leaned down to press his lips firmly to yours.

the kiss was chaste, more of just a hugging of lips, but that’s how it was intended — eddie was getting a point across, and as hard as it was for you to truly believe it, you could feel it within that kiss.

the truth that eddie munson, your best friend of almost a decade, wanted you.

and that very best friend was kissing you. and it felt amazing.

your hands, as inexperienced as they were, traveled up to grip his shoulders, and you took the first step in deepening the kiss by clumsily lapping your lips over his.

eddie groaned and responded with a similar action; except, his movements were much more fluid and smooth, likely from years of experience in the field.

you hated the way that made jealousy burn in your gut.

eddie’s hands fell from your elbows to come to rest on your hips, where he gripped rather roughly. a sound similar to a moan slipped from his mouth and into yours, the sensation sending heat flooding straight to your gut.

“fuck, you have no idea how much i’ve wanted to do this.” eddie panted, kneading his fingers into your hips. “just grab these beautiful fucking hips of yours.”

your stomach swooped and your skin flushed beneath his words; you felt slightly self conscious of the portion of body eddie was grabbing, but eddie seemed to fall absolutely feral over it.

his lips remained hooked to yours as he stumbled backwards, pulling you with him. you followed blindly along with him, loathe to break the hot, wet embrace between the two of you, and nearly gasped when eddie fell flat to the bed and pulled you down with him.

“eddie!” you exclaimed softly into his mouth when you realized you’d landed on top of him, but when you tried to scramble off, eddie wrapped his arms around your midsection.

“don’t even think about it.” eddie murmured, voice little more than a growl, “stay on top of me, pretty girl.”

you whimpered low in your throat, the sound swallowed by eddie’s fiery lips, and you couldn’t stop yourself from wiggling in his hold. you didn’t feel comfortable like this, not in this position—

eddie rolled his hips up and completely cut off your train of thought; poking into your tummy was something hard, something hard and located between eddie’s legs.

“feel that, angel? feel what you’re doin’ to me?” eddie growled, rolling his hips in lazy thrusts. that heat in your gut intensified, and you couldn’t help it when the smallest whimper fell from your lips.

“god, you sound so fuckin’ pretty.” eddie groaned, hands smoothing down your body until they found purchase on your ass. he squeezed the flesh in his fingers and used the leverage to rock your body into his.

“wanted you for so goddamn long, i almost can’t hold myself back.”

eddie’s kiss was feverish now — not clumsy, but passionate and wet. his lips moved against yours as if he was trying to make up for years of neglect in one kiss, and his tongue and teeth scraped against your lips at intermittent points. your brain felt completely frozen, unsure of how to even match his pace.

“use your tongue, sweetheart.” eddie guided, as if reading your mind. “use your tongue like i am.”

you doubted you could use your tongue the same way eddie could use his, but you wanted to try. slipping your tongue against his felt strange, slimy, but not uncomfortable — and he tasted minty, like peppermint, so it wasn’t gross like you thought it would be.

you were certain your movements were clumsy, but they pulled satisfied groans from eddie regardless. his hips bucked up against you faster and his breathing turned shallow.

“fuck, good girl.” eddie moaned, sliding a hand up your back to tangle in your hair. he pushed you impossibly closer to him and deepened the kiss.

your entire body was buzzing, heated from the inside out, and there was a tingle between your legs. a warm, wet tingle.

“eddie,” you mewled into his mouth, hips shifting on their own, as if they were searching for something. “i feel weird.”

“i know, angel. just hold on.” eddie uttered, hips still careening into yours, hard-on grinding against you through the clothes. what was this weird pull in your stomach?

eddie’s lips remained against yours for a few more seconds, all the while you wiggled, whimpered and mewled into him, until he finally relented and pulled away.

“lay on your back, babygirl. i’m gonna show you something.” eddie prompted, voice deep gravel, eyes swallowed by black.

you swallowed when something kicked in your gut, and the moment eddie released his hold on you you scrambled off of him and fell on your back beside him. eddie was quick to mirror your actions, but rather than lying down, he crawled to the end of the bed and situated himself by your legs.

“open.” he demanded softly, and for the first time since his lips touched yours, you felt legitimate hesitance. you stared at him almost blankly, body quivering subtly in your skin. eddie arched a brow at you and fuck, that was pretty hot.

“angel, spread your legs.” eddie murmured, fingers coming up to caress the bare skin of your thigh. his voice was a rumble, enticing and sweet, but somehow comforting... like you didn't have to be afraid of obeying.

with a shaky breath you finally assented and spread your thighs open, snapping your eyes shut when eddie sucked in a sharp breath.

"fuck, look at these panties. so cute." you nearly jumped from your skin when eddie slid a finger up your mound, a sort of electric feeling throbbing through your hips when his fingertip scraped against your clit.

"they're nearly soaked through, baby." eddie cooed, continuing the stroking motions, pulling small moans and pants from your lips. “did you get this worked up just from kissing me?”

for some reason you couldn’t place, you nodded your head — it was as if you had no real control of some of your motor functions, like part of you was in some sort of trance.

“mmm, sweet baby.” eddie whispered darkly. “you have no idea what i could do to you.”

as if to punctuate his point, eddie pressed his finger to your clothed clit and rubbed, and fuck, it felt so good.

you’d touched yourself before, but never had it felt this intense. the moans that slipped from your mouth were purely lewd and near foreign.

“e-eddie, what’s—?”

“shhh, angel. don’t question anything. just feel.” eddie murmured, effectively silencing your inquiries. eddie continued to rub your clit, picking up pace as your moans grew in volume, as your hips bucked into his hand.

it felt good, so incredibly good, but the pleasure seemed muted — the friction not enough to build you up to that wonderful precipice.

“eddie—”

“yeah, baby, i know. you’re ready f’more.” eddie teased, and even with your eyes closed, you knew he was smirking. your breathing was labored, you felt desperate, it was hot—

“‘m gon’a take care of you, baby.” eddie soothed. “gon’a show you how beautiful you are.” eddie slid his hands up your thighs and dipped them beneath your skirt, fingers grasping the lace of your panties and tugging. you followed the unspoken command and lifted your hips, allowing him to slip you free of the garment.

any prior hesitation you felt had been forcefully shoved out by lust.

cold air blew against your pussy the moment it was no longer shielded, and you gasped at the sensation. you didn’t really have the time to complain about it, however, because before you could it was swallowed by heat once more.

wet heat.

your eyes popped open and you glanced down to find eddie’s head nestled between your thighs, dark eyes peering up at you as he dragged his tongue over your aching clit. he did so slowly, torturously, as if he was merely giving you a taste of what he could truly do.

you opened your mouth but all that fell out was a wanton moan. this was something completely out of your experience, something you’d only thought about fleetingly.

eddie groaned into your cunt when your clit throbbed under his tongue, and he dipped the wet muscle down to prod at your slit before slipping it back up. he was lapping at you like a dog, tongue everywhere, as if he wanted to brand the memory of your shape against it.

“eddie,” you whined, hips shaking against him. eddie let out a strange sound as he gripped at your thighs and squeezed, head shaking side to side subtly and sending shocks up your body from the new sensation.

“fuck, taste so good,” eddie whimpered into you, the sound high and needy. “can’ get ‘nough.”

you gasped and cinched your eyes shut, that tension ramping up in your gut and pulling your muscles tight. it felt so fucking good, you were going to go insane.

“mm-mm, no.” eddie suddenly growled and pinched your thigh. you jumped from the pain and snapped your eyes down to him. “fuckin’ look at me, angel. i wan’a see your face when you cum.”

despite the strong urge to look away and the undercurrent of embarrassment beneath your skin, you simply couldn’t tear your eyes away from eddie’s. satisfied with obtaining your full focus, eddie went right back to devouring you.

his tongue was demonic against your cunt, lapping at your folds and flattening across your clit. soft groans and growls fell from his lips as he munched, hands leaving finger shaped bruises on your thighs from how hard he was gripping them.

how it could feel so damn good, you didn’t know. you’d heard talk, yeah, but so many girls had also said that they’d never cum from head before… you just assumed you’d be the same.

but with the way eddie was working your cunt with his lips and tongue, you were realizing you’d be the exception.

“fuck, shit,” you whispered, eyes locked with eddie’s, staring into twin abysses. his own hips rocked into the mattress as his tongue traced over your clit, stimulating himself against your bed. and that just seemed to make it hotter.

“i’m so close.” you murmured, reverently, rendered breathless from the pleasure eddie was shoving into your system. his eyes darkened even more, if that were possible, and his movements became much more feverish. one hand slipped from your thigh and you gasped when you felt a fingertip prod at your entrance.

“eddie,” you warned, anxiety settling in your stomach. even you hadn’t put anything in there; what if it hurt?

“trust me, angel. i won’t hurt you.” eddie murmured against your cunt, tracing his finger up and down your slit. you swallowed, still hesitant, but you trusted eddie — so you nodded.

eddie groaned low in his throat and focused his tongue against your clit, assaulting it with fast flicks. his finger slipped into your entrance with nearly no resistance, and you gasped when he curled it up against something.

“there it is,” eddie cooed, pumping his finger inside you languidly. “there’s that sweet spot, baby.”

you had no idea what he was talking about — but fuck if it didn’t feel so fucking good. your fingers twisted into the blanket beneath you, lips swollen and wet, throat nearly sore from all the moaning.

eddie fucked his finger into you at a near brutal speed, hitting that spot over and over, and you could feel it building — powerful and intense, nearly rupturing your stomach from how tense your muscles were. you couldn’t help the way you thrusted your hips against his face, against his tongue, shoving his finger deeper inside you.

chasing it. that euphoric high.

“fuck yeah, shit. c’mon angel, bust in my fuckin’ mouth.” eddie growled, and that was it — one final jab to that spot, one more flick of his tongue, and you were absolutely losing it.

your thighs and hips quaked as that coil finally snapped, fluid gushing around eddie’s finger and undoubtedly soaking the bed, walls fluttering and clit throbbing under his tongue.

“fuck, fuck, fuck—” you chanted, eyes rolling back as your muscles continued to tense and release. eddie lapped his tongue around his finger, groaning at your sweet taste.

your orgasm was slow to recede, the aftershocks still wracking your body when eddie slipped his finger out and rose to his knees — if your vision wasn’t so fuzzy you would have noticed the prominent wet spot covering the front of his jeans.

exhaustion crawled into your limbs with frightening speed, your muscles almost like jelly, and when eddie flopped down at your side and gathered you into his arms you were little help with it.

“do you believe me now, angel?” eddie murmured, and all you could do was nod sleepily. the edges of your vision was turning black, sleep well on its way to claiming you.

“good. don’t you ever forget it.” was the last thing you heard before you fell to the abyss, warm, satisfied, and comfortable.

completely and utterly loved.

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proximaamidnightt · 8 days ago

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Flowers for my girl 💐 (Blurb)

Warning: Just a bunch of fluff! 🥰

Pairing: Olderbf!Joel miller x f!reader

A/N: oh how I wish a man like Joel milller would bring me flowers just because he was thinking about me 😩

The door opens quietly, and Joel steps inside, eyes softening the moment they land on you. He’s had a long day at work and all we wanted was to see your face. In his hand, he’s holding a small bouquet of wildflowers, a handful of bright colors cradled in his rough, work-worn fingers. There’s a gentleness in his gaze as he walks over, his expression somewhere between tender and a little bit shy.

“Flowers for my girl,” he says, voice thick with warmth. “Couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you all day” Thought you might like somethin’ pretty.”

You take the flowers from him, feeling your heart swell at the unexpected gift. The blooms are a simple mix of wild colors, but somehow they feel more beautiful than anything you could imagine. He wanted to make you smile, just because he could.

Looking up at him, you can see the quiet love in his eyes, the way he’s watching you like he’s been craving you all day. He reaches up, his hand gently cupping your face, his thumb brushing over your cheek in a soft, steady touch. The world feels quieter, softer, as you lean into his warmth.

“Thank you baby” you whisper, voice full of emotion. You press the flowers close, breathing in their fresh scent as you let his love settle over you, warm and steady, like his love for you.

He pulls you into his arms, holding you close, you smell his Cologne, citrus and pine and the smell always made you feel safe. “I love you sweetgirl” his voice barely above a whisper.

You look up at Joel into his big brown eyes and smile “I love you, joel Miller”.

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proximaamidnightt · 11 days ago

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Honey love, dark eyes

♡ Chapter one ♡

Summary: Joel Miller has been your best friend for four years, and your trust in him is as solid as ever. However, things go awry one night after a heated argument, and you find yourself in a position you never thought you'd be in: naked, underneath him, with his eyes devouring you like there's no tomorrow. And when you wake up the next morning, you know it right away, reality piercing your chest; things will never be the same again.

Word count: 9.4K

A/N: Okay, I was planning for the first chapter to be 4K words MAX, but my imagination went crazy with this lol I really hope you like it. I really enjoyed writing this <3 don't forget to leave feedback, tell me what you think!

If you want to be on the tag list, let me know too.

You met him on the night of your twenty-second birthday, at the small party Cassie had put together for you in her dimly lit apartment. You hadn’t wanted much of a celebration, nothing bigger than a few close friends, and certainly not a group of strangers. But when Brianna swept in, holding hands with a man you didn’t know, and introduced him as her boyfriend, you felt a vague flicker of annoyance, the kind that accompanies unmet expectations.

"I thought it was just going to be us," you mumbled to Cassie, catching her in the kitchen as she poured herself another glass of wine.

She looked at you, her cheeks already flushed, eyes bright. "They're a few of my friends, too; they’re nice—you’ll like them if you give it a chance." She smiled, urging you to relax, as though she could tease you out of your mood. "It’s your birthday; don’t be so sullen."

"I didn’t know Brianna was bringing her boyfriend," you said quietly, as Cassie started back to the living room.

She paused, giving you a half-smile over her shoulder. "Neither did I, actually," she admitted, lowering her voice. "Apparently, they've been together for about a month. She’s really into him."

And she was. Brianna clung to him all night, her laughter spilling out freely, unrestrained and buoyant from the wine. It wasn’t long before someone suggested karaoke, and as voices rang out in the next room, you slipped quietly back into the kitchen, craving a moment of solitude. You were surprised to find Brianna’s boyfriend there, leaning against the counter, scrolling absently through his phone with a glass of water in hand.

He looked up, straightened, and offered you a tentative smile. “Oh, hi. Happy birthday,” he said, his voice warm but reserved. “Sorry, I didn’t get a chance to say it earlier…”

“No worries,” you replied, your tone reassuring. “Thanks.”

He hesitated, as though weighing what to say next. “Are you having a good time?”

You gave a slight shrug. “It’s…” but before you could finish, he cut in with a knowing smile.

“It’s okay. I don’t love my birthday either.” His eyes glinted in the soft kitchen light, and you felt a small smile tugging at your own lips.

You looked at him then, really looked at him, allowing yourself the indulgence. “I didn’t want to admit it,” you said, feeling the faintest hint of heat rising to your cheeks. “What was your name again?”

“Joel,” he answered, his gaze drifting briefly back to his phone. “Sorry, I’m a little on edge tonight. Left my daughter with a new babysitter. I think she’s having a rough time.”

Your eyebrows rose in mild surprise; you hadn’t pegged him as a dad. You moved closer, pouring yourself a glass of orange juice and asked, “How old is she?”

“Four. Her name’s Sarah.” He ran a hand through his hair, and you could tell he was tense. “It’s only the second time she’s been with this sitter, and apparently, she’s been crying all evening.”

“Oh, poor thing,” you murmured sympathetically. “She’s little. Changes like that must be hard on her.”

He sighed, his gaze drifting to the side as he typed something quickly on his phone. “I should probably get going. Brianna won’t love that idea; we’d planned to stay out…” He paused, eyes flicking up to meet yours, worry etched across his face. “You think she’ll be too mad?”

“No,” you assured him, though you knew Brianna wouldn’t be pleased. “Go be with your daughter. She’s little; she needs you. Brianna will understand.”

A grateful smile spread across Joel’s face, and for the first time, you noticed the faint dimple on his cheek. For a fleeting second, you wanted to reach out, trace it with your thumb.

“Thanks,” he murmured, his eyes lingering on you in a way that felt unintentional, yet steady. “I hope your night gets better once karaoke is over,” he added with a quiet laugh. "Wish me luck."

You chuckled, meeting his gaze. “Good luck, Joel.”

He left with that same soft smile, and you watched him go, his warm brown eyes leaving an odd impression, like an unclaimed memory. And, as expected, Brianna didn’t understand. She spent the rest of the night sulking, casting sharp words at Joel through her bitterness.

“You knew he had a daughter when you got with him, this was bound to happen at some point,” Cassie told her, fed up with the other's complaints.

You didn't hear the answer, as you were distracted by watching the colorful pictures someone had put on the television.

You heard nothing more from Joel for a couple of weeks, until Cassie blurted out the gossip one morning while you were having lunch at her house.

“He broke up with her,” she began to tell you. “He told her she wasn't being empathetic and that he couldn't drop everything to party with her as if they had no responsibilities.”

It was no surprise. Brianna was a woman who lived at night; she was twenty-three years old and enjoyed it with the freedom that was rightfully hers. You couldn't blame her for wanting to have fun with her boyfriend. But Joel lived a very different reality than she did; at twenty-eight, he had a daughter to take care of, routines to follow, and a lot of work to do.

Although you thought it would take her longer to get over him, it wasn't long before she met a guy at her gym and got into it with him, outgrowing Joel in a matter of days. But for some reason, Joel’s warm, steady gaze stayed with you, like a whisper that hadn’t fully faded.

Years passed quietly, slipping through your fingers like sand until, suddenly, it was your twenty-sixth birthday. This time, the scene was different: you’d moved into your own place just two days earlier, and there was little thought of celebrating. Instead, the weekend found you alone, arranging your things and attempting to bring order to the chaos of a new home.

It was a crisp Saturday morning, and you stood in your front yard with a glass of fresh-squeezed orange juice in hand, humming along to some eighties tune drifting in from the living room. The song—one of those upbeat ones that made even housework feel light—had lifted your spirits, and you moved rhythmically as you pushed plastic flowers into the dirt along the front path, sending little puffs of air to make the petals flutter.

You were lost in your task when you heard soft footsteps behind you, instinctively making you turn.

“Oh, hello,” you said, quickly masking the slight surprise the girl’s sudden appearance had given you.

She looked at you with wide, curious eyes, seemingly unfazed by her solo adventure.

“Hi. What’s your name? Do you live here?” she asked, her gaze shifting from your face to the flowers in your hands.

Glancing around for any sign of her parents, you noted her relaxed stance, like she’d been coming here all her life. Smiling, you nodded and gave her your name. “Yep, I just moved in.”

She looked unimpressed. “This house was empty for a while. I didn’t like the kid who lived here before. He was a pain in the ass—”

“Sarah!” came a sharp voice from behind, making you jump slightly. Heavy footsteps approached, and you squinted against the sun to see a figure striding toward you, his features obscured by the bright morning light.

When he stepped closer, his face came into focus, and your breath caught. You knew him.

“Sarah, you can’t just leave the house like that,” he said sternly, a furrow in his brow, his tone more parental than reproachful.

He turned to you, and the scowl softened as recognition dawned.

“Joel,” you murmured, the name slipping out before you even meant to say it aloud.

His expression shifted into a surprised smile, and that was all it took to break the ice between you. You explained that you’d just moved in and were still settling. Joel offered to help with anything you needed, including taking a look around the house to ensure everything was in order. He formally introduced you to Sarah, now eight years old, who had nearly scared him to death by sneaking out. She had his same lively spark in her eyes, a brightness that seemed familiar.

That evening, Sarah invited you to dinner with them, leaving Joel with little choice but to agree. And one dinner became many, as evenings blurred into weekends, and you found Joel’s presence in your life weaving into something inseparable from your routine. He started popping by to help with small projects, fixing kitchen cabinets or adjusting the wobbly front steps, visits stretching into movie marathons or lazy conversations with cold beer in hand. Days flowed into evenings of chatting over the meals you cooked to share with Sarah, and sometimes her uncle Tommy. Though Joel claimed he was no cook, his barbecues were legendary, and you couldn’t deny you looked forward to them most of all. And soon enough, he was there for everything, from driving you to doctor’s appointments to accompanying you on those grocery runs he pretended to hate. He even started showing up early on days he knew you’d need a ride. Over time, he became the best friend you’d ever had, a safe place, someone who felt like family. With everyone else scattered—Cassie overseas, old friends moved away—Joel became your rock.

It wasn’t something you dared to admit to yourself often, but you couldn’t imagine your life without him. And maybe that’s why you never allowed yourself to voice those little fleeting thoughts, the ones that flitted through your mind every now and then: how safe you felt whenever he threw his arm around your shoulders, or how good he looked reclining on his couch after a long day. Or how perfect it felt when the three of you—Sarah dozing on his lap, you leaning into his shoulder—sat together in the warm silence of a Sunday afternoon. There was an ache, too, a quiet pang whenever he mentioned another woman. Thankfully, that was rare; Joel once told you, with a shrug, that he “wasn’t really looking for that sort of thing.”

Sometimes, you watched him carefully as you talked about your own dates, hoping to catch a glimmer of jealousy in his gaze, some subtle cue that maybe he felt the same way. But there was never anything you wanted to see, and you always felt silly for looking. So, you buried it all. The risk of ruining things with Joel wasn’t worth the confession.

One afternoon, however, your emotions almost escaped your eyes when, while preparing Joel's birthday cake, Sarah dropped a piece of news that caught you off guard. She told you, with her usual nonchalance, that Joel had gone out the night before with someone new.

“Yeah, it’s like… the third time they’ve gone out,” Sarah mentioned while spreading cream on the sponge cake. “I don’t know her name or anything, just that he met her in line at the bank,” a laugh choked in her throat, amused at imagining her father flirting with some woman in a public space.

You forced a smile, laughing along like it was funny.

"And who stayed with you last night?” you asked, trying to keep your tone casual.

Not that Sarah was necessarily a baby; she was already twelve and extremely independent. But Joel never left her alone if he went out for the night, he knew how much she loved spending time with you watching movies and eating junk food. Then, when he arrived, you would pester him with gossipy questions and he would pretend to get angry and then answer every one of them.

“Uncle Tommy," she said, eyeing her work with satisfaction. “We had fun, but I kinda wished you’d come too. Hey, what do you think?” she fingered the cream neatly arranged with the angled knife.

“It's perfect,” you smiled at her, not waiting too long to ask the question you wanted so badly. “Why didn't you call me then?”

Sarah started sprinkling colorful sprinkles on top of the cream and looked at you for a second when she noticed the tone in your voice at the last word. She didn't seem to think much of it.

“You were busy, weren't you? Dad said you had something to do.”

Her answer hit you like a small weight to the chest. Joel had purposefully left you out. He’d even made an excuse for Sarah’s benefit. So, there had been three dates—three times he’d kept this woman a secret. A small knot formed in your stomach as you forced yourself to smile, still watching Sarah as she concentrated on the last of the sprinkles.

In the kitchen, you were running your hand through the steam from the beef stew on the stove—Joel’s favorite—when the door opened. His footsteps grew louder, approaching, and you nervously adjusted the dress you’d chosen, one you knew he liked, though he’d never said it. It was your favorite too, a cream-colored sundress with delicate shoulder ties.

Sarah sprang forward, covering his eyes. “Don’t look, the table’s not ready.”

You hurried to set the glasses in their places, your hands a little shaky as you moved, hoping he wouldn’t notice the flush creeping up your cheeks.

“I don’t need to see it—I can smell it, and it smells incredible,” Joel grinned beneath Sarah’s tiny hands, which she’d plastered over his eyes, half to keep him from sneaking a glance, half just because she could.

“Too bad you don’t smell incredible,” Sarah retorted with a smirk, wrinkling her nose. "Go take a shower!"

You laughed, catching Joel’s raised brow at her.

“You’ve got five minutes,” you said, placing the lid on the simmering pot.

Joel snorted, brushing Sarah’s hands away from his face.

“That’s the smell of a hardworking man,” he replied, feigning offense as he turned for the stairs. “Y’all oughtta know.”

Later, the three of you sat around the table, and Joel took his first bite of the stew, eyes widening, a kind of bliss washing over his face. He tossed his head back and groaned.

“Sweet Glory,” he mumbled, closing his eyes. “Thank you for this.”

“Oh, come on,” you teased, though part of you couldn’t help but feel a pang of something between irritation and flattery. “You say that every time I cook for you.”

He shook his head, smiling as he chewed, then spoke softly, his gaze slipping downward.

“I’m not exaggerating—I love everything you do.” A pause, and then a quick, awkward clarification. “I mean, everything you cook.”

The clarification was like a line drawn in the sand, a boundary etched by his voice alone.

You smiled weakly and inwardly thankful when Sarah spoke, telling you about something that had happened at her school that week and distracting you from the question that was spellbinding your tongue. You were dying to ask it, to look him in the eye and ask: who did you go out with last night? Why didn't you tell me? Is it someone I know? Is that it?... But you didn't, you stayed quiet and participated in the pleasant conversation, celebrating his birthday as he deserved. After all, no matter how much it angered you that he kept things from you, it was still his special day.

After dinner, Sarah forced Joel to sit in front of his cake, two lit number candles glowing in front of him. You turned out the lights, watching as the light from the flames reflected beautifully in your best friend's dark pupils.

Joel was wearing a black T-shirt and dark jeans, his hair was still barely damp from the shower he'd taken before, and his sun-kissed tan face looked smooth, decorated by the beard and mustache you loved so much. Behind him, his shadow vibrated and spread across the wall with grandeur.

“Make a wish!” Sarah cheered, bouncing with excitement as she placed her small hands on his shoulders.

Joel smiled, closed his eyes, and blew out the candles. In the dimness, you leaned in and kissed his cheek softly.

“Happy birthday, old man,” you whispered, your hand resting gently on his neck.

He reached for your hand, pressing a warm, lingering kiss into your palm. “I’m not that old,” he muttered with a mock frown.

Sarah giggled, holding a knife to cut the cake and licking a dab of frosting from her thumb. “You’ll be forty in four years,” she teased, catching your amused expression.

Joel scoffed, scratching his stomach as he stood back up, turning to you with a smile that made you forget, just for a moment, all the questions you were holding back. There was only Joel, his rumbling laugh, Sarah’s delighted giggles. It felt like home.

Sarah gave him his gift first: a copy of Curtis and Viper 2 with the deleted scenes and a mystery box. When he opened it, a smile formed on his lips.

He pulled out a weathered wristwatch, broken for months, now polished and repaired.

“I took it in to be fixed. Do you like it?” Sarah asked, eyes wide with anticipation.

Joel nodded, eyes softening as he extended his wrist for her to put it on. “It’s perfect, baby.”

“Let's watch the movie later,” Sarah said. “You can't fall asleep.”

“Let's see which one of us falls asleep first,” you joked, and you were right. Joel had been working all afternoon and Sarah had been yawning for hours.

You turned and picked up the box resting beside your feet, handing it to him. When he opened it, Joel pulled out a black cloth garment and a paper envelope. He tugged at the cloth, revealing a thick, soft jacket. He read the label and a smile appeared on his lips.

“I saw it and thought of you,” you said, mimicking his gesture.

“How much did you pay for this?”

“Don't worry about it, it had to be yours,” you noted as you stood up and took it from his hand. “Here, stand up. Let's see how it fits you.”

“And what if it doesn't fit? Do we have to travel to Rome to exchange it?”

You laughed, then helped him slide it over his shoulders, a comfortable, familiar movement.

“I know you by heart, I couldn't be wrong.”

“So?” he asked, smiling coquettishly. Your stomach tingled and you decided to ignore it.

“Lookin’ good, Dad,” Sarah chimed in, her innocent smile lighting up the moment. “Bet someone special will love it, too.”

Joel smiled weakly, as if he was trying to tell her something with his eyes, and for a second you hated the thought of your gift being enjoyed by someone else. You imagined him getting ready to go out with her -whoever she was-, running his hand through his hair and perfuming his neck as he did from time to time whenever he went out with someone. You knew that perfume perfectly, you'd recognize it anywhere, though you were sure it wouldn't smell the same on anyone else. Joel added his own scent to it, and you loved it.

“Okay, now, open the envelope,” you urged, your voice unintentionally sharper than you meant.

Joel sat back down and opened the blue paper envelope. He read the note carefully and when he looked up, you and Sarah were looking at him excitedly.

“Sunshine, did you pay for this?” he asked you, a soft disbelief in his tone.

Inside were three plane tickets. Sarah had helped you pick the destination—somewhere none of you had been but would love.

When you nodded, he let out a soft sigh. “Let me cover part of it.”

You groaned, rolling your eyes. “It’s my birthday gift to you, Joel. It’s all settled. You need a vacation, and we certainly do too, don't we?”

“That's right,” Sarah confirmed, smiling complicitly.

He sighed, shaking his head. “You’re too good to me.”

But he smiled, tucking the tickets back into the envelope.

Time with Joel and Sarah was easy. When you were with them, hours slipped away, and the heaviness of everything else seemed to dissolve. You felt at home, and sometimes it left you wondering about Sarah’s mother, about how anyone could have left them. Didn’t she see how extraordinary they were? Didn’t she realize what she’d lost?

You thought about this as you relaxed on the couch beside Joel, Sarah curled up with her head on your shoulder. Her breathing had slowed, and you smiled, realizing she’d fallen asleep. Three glasses sat on the coffee table: the wine Joel had opened just before dinner—a bottle you’d brought back from your last trip to Italy—and Sarah’s lemon soda. Joel snorted softly, glancing at his daughter with a smirk, then leaned over and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Fallen soldier,” he whispered, smiling.

You laughed, brushing a hand over Sarah’s hair. “She’s tired. She was up all afternoon making your cake, you know? Tried the cream three times before she got it right.”

Joel sighed, an apologetic note in his voice. “I know, sorry I was late. I know she wanted me here sooner.”

Curtis and Viper 2 was halfway through on the TV, forgotten in the background. Joel straightened, signaling he’d take Sarah to bed, and you shifted to make room as he lifted her, carrying her toward the stairs. You watched him disappear down the hallway, and as the house fell into a quiet lull, that familiar disappointment stirred in your chest. Now, without Sarah’s chatter, you’d have to keep pretending that nothing was wrong.

You took a long sip of your wine, finishing off the glass just as Joel returned. He sat down heavily beside you, causing the cushions to sink as he let out a sigh, rubbing a hand over his eyes before giving you a grateful look.

“Thanks for today, I had a great time. Sarah was very happy,” he said quietly, a warm smile appearing on his lips.

“I'm glad, hun. Although the credit goes to her, I just made dinner.”

“Doesn’t matter. You helped her, and I’m grateful. I mean that. For today, and for… all these years.” His voice softened, almost reverent.

“You don’t have to thank me,” you whispered, feeling your pulse pick up as he leaned closer, his brown eyes unreadable but soft. “You’re my family, both of you. Really, I’m the one who owes you thanks.”

He shook his head and leaned back, taking another sip of his wine.

“Not at all,” he replied, leaning back again.

You watched him for a moment, turning the weight of your question over in your mind. If you said something, he’d make an excuse. If you kept silent, the doubt would eat at you. You tried to fix your gaze on the TV, on anything other than his profile in the dim room. But the words slipped out of your mouth before you could stop yourself.

“So, what did you do last night?”

He tensed beside you, so subtly that only you could’ve noticed. “What?”

You tried to keep your tone even, hoping you didn’t sound like you’d spent all day thinking about it. “I just… didn’t see your truck out there, thought maybe you were gone or something.” It was a lie; you had fallen asleep on your couch last night, you hadn't even noticed Joel was gone.

Joel seemed to measure his words carefully. “Oh. Yeah… I just went out for a beer with Tommy,” he answered, his tone a little too casual.

Heat crept up your face, disbelief taking root. He really was holding out on you for some reason, wasn't he? The man was lying to you, and not very cleverly. Tommy had been with Sarah, what if you had seen him, hadn't he thought of that? Apparently not.

It took a moment before you could bring yourself to say anything, watching as he glanced at you with an uneasy smile, waiting for you to believe him.

“Joel,” you murmured, not quite able to keep the accusation out of your voice. “You’re lying to me.”

He gave a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of his neck, but you didn’t let him off so easily. Before he could say anything, you spoke again.

“Tommy was with Sarah last night, here,” you pointed out, your voice firmer this time. His silence told you everything, his face drawn and uncertain as he realized you’d caught him.

After a long pause, he looked down, his voice unusually flat. “Alright, yeah. I know.”

The admission was so casual it took you by surprise, but you shook your head, feeling the ache of frustration and betrayal creep in.

“Why would you lie to me?” you pressed. “We’re friends. Why wouldn’t you tell me you’re seeing someone?”

Joel sighed, avoiding your gaze, his eyes instead locked somewhere in the distance. “It’s… it’s nothing serious,” he mumbled. “Just getting to know her. Don't make such a fuss out of it.”

“What? what you're saying doesn't make sense. You’ve kept it hidden, avoided every chance to be honest about it. Why?” you asked, trying not to let the hurt seep into your voice.

“It’s not like that,” he insisted, but his voice sounded unsure.

“So if I call Tommy right now, he’ll tell me the truth? Or did you ask him to keep this from me too?”

Finally, he met your gaze, his eyes scanning your face, reading the frustration and hurt you’d tried to keep buried. You could see it in his eyes, that familiar tug of defiance, a flash of something deeper than guilt or secrecy.

“What if I did?” His voice was almost philosophical, his gaze intense and challenging. “This is my private life. I don’t have to explain myself to anyone, not even you. Do I?”

You drew in a sharp breath. His words struck like a slap, but you steadied yourself. “You’re right, Joel. You don’t owe me explanations. But you don’t have to lie to me, either.” You looked down, feeling your voice start to waver. “You’ve never hidden your relationships from me before.”

He sighed, scrubbing his hands over his face and slumping back against the couch.

After a few seconds, he finally looked at you, a look of exasperation crossing his face.

“Because of this.” He gestured between you, his tone gentle but firm. “This reaction, right here, is exactly why I didn’t tell you.”

What Joel was saying didn’t make sense. Your frustration wasn’t over him seeing someone else; it was something else entirely, something more fundamental.

“Oh, just stop,” you snapped, voice sharp. “I’m not mad because you’re dating someone, Joel. I’m mad that you lied to me. They’re two completely different things.”

He took a breath, settling back on the couch, and turned to face you, a guarded expression crossing his face. “No, it’s always the same thing. Remember the last time I was seeing someone?”

And you did, briefly. A year ago, one of his friends had introduced him to his cousin—a woman who had just moved to town. She was polite enough, but her smiles had a brittle quality to them, and when she met Sarah, her warmth never extended beyond a single, dismissive greeting. The indifference was obvious, at least to you, and maybe you’d let that show a little too openly. Joel had caught on quickly, and after that, things with her fizzled out.

“That was different,” you argued, exasperated. “She wasn’t nice, Joel. She had zero interest in Sarah.”

He gave a bitter, half-smile. “Maybe, but it wasn’t your job to manage that. I can handle my own relationships. But you always—” he paused, thumping his chest with a finger, “you always step in. Always get defensive.”

“That’s not true!” Your voice rose as anger crept in, heating your face. “You’re just making excuses. Date whoever you want, Joel, I don’t care. But don’t lie to me, don’t insult me with these flimsy excuses. Or if you’re going to lie, at least make it convincing.”

He clenched his jaw, his gaze hardening, something fierce sparking in his eyes. “Are you sure about that?” he asked, his voice low and measured, the words hanging between you like a dare.

“Sure about what?” Your brow creased in confusion, the pulse in your chest picking up, a flurry of anger and… something else you couldn’t place, mingling with the haze of the wine.

His eyes narrowed, holding yours, unflinching. “That you don’t care. That’s what this is about, isn’t it? Because I know you, i know you to well to know you’re just jealous.”

Jealous. He thought you were jealous.

He had missed the point completely. Your feelings for him were complex, that much was true. But you had learned, or thought you had learned, to carry them quietly. Your friendship with him had come to feel like a sturdy house you could live inside without having to ask too much of it. Having him in your life was enough.

But now, you felt that house shift, cracks spreading through the walls. His inability to trust you hurt more deeply than you’d expected. The openness you’d once trusted was fracturing. You felt the sting of tears prick at your eyes, the words he’d thrown out so casually cutting to the quick.

“Fuck you, Joel,” you muttered, standing abruptly, storming to the door and slamming it shut behind you. You barely heard him call your name as you left, fury driving you down the front steps, the cool night air biting at your cheeks.

Honestly, he could go fuck himself.

Just as your hand reached your front door, his footsteps closed in behind you, his strides fast enough to catch up. You tried to close the door before he could reach you, but his hand caught it just in time, his voice heavy with irritation.

“Just go away, Joel,” you said, barely glancing at him. “I don’t want to see you again.”

“That’s not true, and you know it.” His voice was calm, almost pleading.

You stepped back, reluctantly letting him into the foyer. He’d have come in anyway.

“I mean it, God. Go home,” you insisted, your voice wavering, betraying the anger mixed with something else.

He shook his head, taking a few steps closer, his jaw tight. “Can we just talk?”

“Talk?” you repeated incredulously. “Talk about what? About how wrong you are?”

He didn’t flinch, but his eyes darkened. “Don’t act like what I said was crazy,” he said, voice steady but a little sharper now.

You scoffed, throwing your hands up. “Oh, so now I’m jealous, is that it? Then, by your logic, you must’ve been jealous too, right? Like last month, when Travis asked me out. Because if that’s the case, then we’re having the same conversation, aren’t we?”

Joel clicked his tongue, tilting his head with an exaggerated sigh. “No, Travis is just a jerk. And I don’t like him, plain and simple.”

Travis Dunn, your neighbor, had moved in a few months after you did. Handsome, tall, and friendly, everyone on the street adored him—everyone except Joel. He couldn’t seem to stand him, though Travis was always polite to him.

Last month, when Travis had asked you out, Joel had practically laughed in your face when you told him about it, muttering something dismissive as if the very idea was absurd. You’d told Travis you were busy, though deep down you knew the real reason you hadn’t accepted was because of Joel’s disapproval.

“Then everyone’s as much of an idiot as he is, sunshine.”

You shook your head, exasperated. “Travis isn’t a jerk, Joel, you just don’t like him. He’s nice, honestly, much nicer than some people, if we’re being honest here. Everyone loves him; you’re the only one who has a problem with him.”

“Oh, really? Or maybe… you’re jealous of him?” Your tone was teasing, but you felt the shift as soon as you said it.

Joel’s mouth twitched in a half-smile, but the humor didn’t reach his eyes. He ran his tongue over his lips, shaking his head slowly, twice.

“No?” you shot back, voice edged with challenge. “So if I go tomorrow and say yes to him, that wouldn’t bother you at all, right?”

“Don’t turn this on me,” he said. “This isn’t about Travis or me.”

He stepped closer to you, his eyes dark with something you’d never seen in him before. The air seemed to thicken, his presence so intense it felt as though it wrapped around you. He leaned in, his face close enough that his words brushed your skin.

“You can do whatever you want, baby. It’s your fucking life.”

“And you can do whatever you want too, Joel. That’s the fucking point!” you nearly shouted, hands pushing against his shoulders, shoving him away. “I don’t care what you do! It’s already clear you don’t get it, you don’t get anything, ANYTHING!”

Joel staggered back for a split second, but it wasn’t long before he closed the distance again, though he didn’t get as close this time.

His voice was lower, a thread of something hard in his tone. “If you’re so insulted by the idea of being jealous, maybe that’s something for you to think about. Ever thought of doing a little introspection?”

“Are you drunk, Joel?” you asked, eyes narrowed, softening your voice a fraction. The argument was exhausting you, and the anger left you feeling hollow.

He laughed, an odd, choked sound. “Oh, c'mon, you know one bottle of wine ain't enough to get me drunk.”

“Yeah, but you’re tired, and you’re not exactly young, Joel,” you said, brushing past him, his gaze glued to you the entire time. “Alcohol hits you differently now. Just go home, leave me alone.”

“Fine. I’ll leave you alone, and maybe then you can run across the street and fuck Travis Dunn, if you want it so badly,” he shot back, impatience tinging his voice as he turned toward the still-open door.

The words hit you like a slap. You froze for a moment, the anger washing over you in a wave. Before you could think twice, you rushed up to him, gripping his arm tightly to force him to turn and look at you.

“What the hell did you just say, Joel?” you hissed, grabbing his shirt, fingers bunching in the fabric as you backed him up until his shoulders hit the wall by the door. “Go on, say it again!”

Your breaths came fast, chest rising and falling as the rush of anger pushed tears to your eyes. You couldn’t believe he’d actually spoken to you like that, cutting right through to something raw and vulnerable. He’d never spoken to you like that before. Maybe he was a little drunk, or maybe he was losing his mind.

But there was no softness in his gaze, no hint of the Joel you knew. His stare was sharp, almost wild with something simmering underneath, something you didn’t understand. To you, this whole argument made no sense, at least not his reaction.

Joel’s grip on your wrist was firm, almost grounding, as he pulled you closer, pressing your palm against his chest. “I can’t stand that asshole, but go ahead and fuck him if you want,” he spat, voice laced with frustration. “Go fuck the whole neighborhood while you’re at it. I really don’t care anymore.”

His words were harsh, designed to cut, but they only drew a laugh from you—sharp and derisive. A tear slipped down your cheek, uninvited.

“What, did you ever care?” you asked, your voice trembling on the last syllable, thick with emotion.

But Joel didn’t respond, and the silence ignited a fire in you, something that swirled beneath the surface, ready to boil over.

“Do you know why we’re friends, Joel?” Your pulse quickened, each beat like a drum in your ears. “Because it just works between us. There are no ulterior motives. You know why? Because I don’t like you like that. You’re not even my type, and you never will be. And no, I’m not jealous that you’re dating some woman you’ll probably dump in less than a month, so get the fuck over it and leave me the fuck alone!”

You watched as his gaze flickered between your eyes, uncertainty warring with something darker. Suddenly, with an unexpected strength, Joel tightened his grip on your wrist and pushed you back hard against the wall. The impact knocked the breath from your lungs, leaving you gasping as your back hit the unforgiving surface.

His expression had transformed, those deep, dark eyes piercing you like arrows. His breath quickened, crashing against your face, and you could feel your lower lip tremble as he pressed even closer, pinning you against the wall.

“You don’t know how to lie,” he murmured, his lips almost brushing against your cheek.

The sensation was unbearable; his body pressed against yours, heat radiating off him and melting you inside. You could feel the edge of something primal, something that could tip either way. But suddenly, clarity surged through you. With a burst of strength, you pushed him away, breaking free from his grasp, forcing him to pull back just enough for you to gasp for air.

But the distance felt worse. In his eyes, you recognized something you’d never seen before—desire, raw and unfiltered. It clawed at you, igniting an inexplicable need. A sigh escaped your lips, and like a match struck in a dark room, it was enough to set off an explosion. In an instant, Joel lunged at you, and you found yourself wrapped around him, mouths colliding in a desperate kiss filled with moans and the urgency of your racing hearts.

With a loud thud, Joel kicked the front door shut, his hands moving feverishly down your body, fingers skimming your thighs, slipping beneath your dress. He caressed your skin before squeezing your ass hard, drawing a moan from your lips that echoed in the small space between you. You clung to him tighter, his hands fitting around you as if they were made for this very moment.

He pulled back for a breath, the sound wet and chaotic against the walls of your home, and then his lips descended down your neck, unraveling what little sanity you had left. A moan rumbled in his throat as your hands tangled in his hair, tugging gently to tilt your head back, giving him better access to the tender spot just below your ear, your blood pulsing beneath his hungry mouth.

Joel seemed to want to devour you whole; his hands roamed erratically, trembling as his mouth kissed and bit your jaw, pressing your bodies together in a way that felt impossibly intimate. When you lifted your right leg and wrapped it around his side, he was quick to respond, hands securing your thighs, lifting you effortlessly onto his hips, burying his face against your chest.

Another moan escaped you, and he pulled you down just enough to find your lips again. “Joel,” you whispered, breathless as you parted from him, pressing your forehead against his, eyes searching his.

“Tell me to stop and I will,” he said, his voice low, almost broken, each word laced with a vulnerability you’d never heard from him before. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No,” you replied in a small, desperate cry, feeling the heat radiating from him, the thin fabric of your underwear igniting a fire deep within you.

You were dying of thirst, and he had just asked you if you would refuse a sip of water. Was he mad? You wanted to drink it all.

No sooner had you answered than Joel pulled you off the wall, striding toward the stairs with a confident grace. You lowered your legs cautiously, meeting his lips again in a frantic, wet kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth with urgency.

You walked to your room with the agility of one who knows where to step, and once inside, you grabbed the shirt you had angrily grabbed earlier and lifted it up his body in a desperate attempt to rip it off. Joel raised his arms, letting the fabric pass over both of you and then fall to the floor, and as quickly as your hands returned to his chest, he kissed your neck again, desperate, pressing his fingers into the tender flesh of your waist, seeking a physically impossible closeness.

His hands found your thighs once more, fingers gripping and kneading with a measured intensity that sent electric shivers through you. As he moved lower, his fingertips brushed the thin fabric of your underwear, inching closer to where you ached for him, squeezing you tighter as if to draw you in.

In a single, decisive motion, he grasped the hem of your dress and pulled it upward, the fabric sliding along your skin as he lifted it away, tossing it aside with a casual disregard that only heightened the tension in the air. He took a step back, his gaze roaming over you, from the soft curve of your face down to the tips of your toes, a look of hunger that felt almost consuming.

You weren't wearing a bra (your dress didn't require it) and your breasts fell beautifully in front of him, hard nipples and soft skin. Your chest flushed with warmth, a rosy hue creeping into your cheeks as you swallowed hard, feeling vulnerable yet exhilarated when he stepped closer.

“I’ve always loved that dress,” he said, his voice trembling with an emotion that was both reverent and raw.

“I know,” you replied, a smile curling at the corners of your lips, the moment igniting an intimacy that made your heart race.

His eyes swept down your body again, glittering with an unmistakable lust, and when he closed the distance, standing right before you, your breath caught in your throat.

His hands slid around your waist, firm yet tender, pulling you into him with a deftness that sent a thrill coursing through you. In one seamless motion, he lifted you off the ground, your feet barely grazing the floor as you instinctively stood on your tiptoes, the world narrowing to just the two of you.

Joel’s eyes darkened with a hunger that left you breathless, and he leaned in, his lips finding one of your breasts with a soft kiss that felt both electrifying and reverent. The warmth of his mouth sent a rush of heat through your body, and before you could gather your thoughts, he nipped your nipple gently, a teasing bite that sent chills racing across your skin.

His teeth grazed you just enough to elicit a gasp, a shuddering reaction that echoed in the space between you. But he didn’t linger on the sharpness of that moment; he quickly replaced the sensation with the soothing warmth of his lips, enveloping you entirely.

He sank to one knee, lowering himself until his lips brushed your stomach, the warm sensation sending ripples of desire coursing through you. His face lingered dangerously close to where you needed him most.

Joel placed his hands on your hips, fingers gripping the elastic of your underwear, his gaze locking onto yours for a moment that stretched into eternity before he slowly began to lower it, the fabric sliding down your legs and pooling at your feet. You felt his breath hitch at the sight of your now bare center, the anticipation thickening the air between you as he inched closer, finally brushing his lips against your mons pubis.

“Precious,” he murmured, and the warmth of his breath washed over you like a caress, drawing a small, needy moan from your lips. His hands parted your legs slightly, his fingers digging into your thighs, holding you firmly in place.

You cupped his face gently, as if afraid you might break him, and then, without warning, Joel licked his lips and plunged forward, his mouth connecting with you in a surprise that made your eyes flutter shut. You tangled your fingers in his hair, tugging him closer as he devoured you, his tongue working its magic as he sucked and kissed you whole, with an urgency that left you breathless.

He growled into you, the sound reverberating through your body, and you felt weakness seep into your legs, trembling under the weight of his relentless attention. Joel was eating you like a hungry man, tasting you and soaking in your juices with a fervor that felt primal, kissing you as if his life depended on it.

“Fuck,” you gasped, feeling every muscle in your body tighten as a building pressure coiled inside you.

He pulled away for just a moment, his eyes darkened with lust, a playful smile creeping onto his lips before he returned to you, closing his mouth around your clit, sucking and licking with a skill that made your head spin.

“Ah—Joel, I’m going to—I’m going to—” You struggled to articulate the intensity of what was building within you, your words stumbling over the tide of pleasure washing over you.

His voice vibrated through you, trailing off into a soft, “Mhm.”

You pulled at his hair, tugging harder as a wrenching moan escaped your throat. The world around you faded as his movements grew more frantic, his tongue flicking at you with a desperate fervor. One of his hands released your thigh, and a low groan escaped his lips as his finger found your entrance, sliding inside with an ease that made you gasp.

“Fuck me, you’re so wet,” he murmured, pausing for a moment to take in the sight of you—your cheeks flushed, eyes sparkling with lust. A satisfied smile broke across his face, and you thought he had never looked so gorgeous.

From your point of view, he looked beautiful. His bright eyes worshipped you intently, his mouth and mustache glistened bathed in you, his hair tossed by your hands mingled in all directions. Joel Miller had never looked so good.

Another finger joined the first, and you closed your eyes, surrendering to the sensation as he curled them just right, hitting that sweet spot that made you gasp for air. You gripped his hair again, pulling him closer, and he let out a throaty laugh, clearly reveling in the sight of you completely undone.

You felt his mouth on you again, the warmth of his lips kissing and sucking with an insatiable hunger that left you breathless. The sound of it was utterly obscene, echoing around the room like a carnal symphony, and it drove you to the brink of madness, your mind spinning in a dizzying haze of pleasure.

His movements grew more intense, a rhythm building that sent waves of ecstasy rippling through your body. You felt yourself teetering on the edge, your hips moving in desperate undulations, surrendering to the climax that Joel savored with unrelenting focus. Your fingers clenched around him, digging in perhaps a bit too hard, but he welcomed it, desperate to drink in every last drop of what you were offering, to savor you whole.

With a low grunt, he squeezed your hips before pulling away, the wet sound of his departure from you hanging heavy in the air. You barely registered his rise from the floor, lost in the aftershocks of pleasure, your eyes still closed as the vibrations coursed through you. It wasn’t until his hands gripped your waist that you finally blinked awake, lifting your eyelids to find him gazing down at you, his face mere inches from yours.

He leaned in, capturing your mouth again, a kiss that was both desperate and tender, igniting a fire deep within you. You could taste yourself on his tongue.

Your hands found their way around his neck, pulling him closer as you melted into the kiss. As the intensity built, you let your fingers drift down his chest, trailing lightly until they found the leather of his belt, the sensation sending shivers through you as you tugged him closer.

Joel vibrated against you, a low growl escaping as he nipped at your lower lip while you fumbled with his steel buckle, the sound of it being released becoming your new favorite melody. You unzipped his pants, your heart racing as you slipped your hand inside, finally touching him for the first time.

Your pulse quickened as you wrapped your fingers around him, feeling the heat radiating from his velvet soft skin; big, hot and throbbing in your palm. A rush of desire flooded you, and you pulled away from his lips, dropping to your knees before him, your eyes wide as you took in his form.

There he stood, beautiful and swollen with need, and your mouth watered at the sight. You cupped him gently, drawing him closer to your lips, placing a soft kiss on the tip. Joel closed his eyes at the sensation, surrendering to the moment completely, and you traced your tongue over him, tasting the salty sweetness of his pre cum that made your insides tighten with longing.

With a hint of effort, you attempted to take him fully into your mouth, but he was too large, stretching you in ways you hadn’t expected. Joel lowered his gaze to you, his fingers caressing your jaw as you struggled to adjust.

“Slow, baby,” he urged, his voice silky yet strained, and it sent another rush of need through you. "I know you can do it."

You matched your hand to your mouth, stroking him where you couldn’t quite reach, while your other hand gently caressed his balls, moving in a synchronized rhythm. Joel tensed beneath your touch, his fingers shifting from your face to tangle in your hair, guiding you as he reveled in the pleasure you were giving him.

The sounds in the room became a symphony of pleasure, every moan and gasp echoing off the walls, and you watched as Joel's pleasure climbed. The image was enough to drive him over the edge; your pink, swollen lips covered him and his cock glistened with your saliva, dripping from your chin with every move you made. Your teary eyes looked up at him desirously, and he could take no more; his gaze was filled with a primal hunger that threatened to unravel him. He finally withdrew from your mouth with great reluctance when he felt his stomach tighten, a low complaint escaping your throat in protest.

His breathing was heavy, and a flush colored his cheeks as he lifted you effortlessly, holding you at the waist, his lips finding yours in a heated kiss. In one swift motion, he laid you back onto the bed, the mattress dipping under his weight as he moved closer; Joel kneeling and settling between your legs which you instinctively opened for him.

You needed him, you needed him to fill you whole. You had never needed anything as much as you needed him at that moment. And as if he was reading your thoughts - or maybe he needed you as much as you needed him - he leaned in, taking your mouth with his once more, his moans blending with yours as he lost himself in you.

Your hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer as he deepened the kiss, the taste of him igniting a fire in your veins. You felt him positioning himself at your entrance, his heat pulsing against you, and an intense sigh shot through your chest as Joel entered you in one thrust, burning and stretching you around him.

“Oh God,” he groaned, burying his face into the crook of your neck, the warmth of his breath sending shivers down your spine. His right hand traveled to your left leg, lifting it and resting it high on his shoulder, while without hesitation, his other hand mirrored the movement with your right leg, bringing you into a position that felt both intimate and vulnerable. You were completely folded under him.

A cry escaped your lips as Joel began to move on top of you, his face hovering just inches above yours, the heat between you palpable. No one had ever penetrated you so deeply; it felt as though he was everywhere, filling you completely, every inch of you alive with sensation.

Joel's right hand gently squeezed your neck, seeking your mouth for a kiss as his movements took on a more urgent pace. The rhythmic collision of his hips against your buttocks created a beautiful sound that echoed off the walls, each thrust punctuated by the soft, desperate gasps that slipped from his mouth. Your own cries mingled with his as your body tightened again, your hands moving frantically up and down his back, your nails digging into his flesh, leaving little marks that he would surely wear like badges of pleasure.

A broken sound escaped from Joel, raw and primal, as he sank his face into the crook of your neck once more, increasing his thrusts with a fervor that felt animalistic, as if the world outside had fallen away and this moment was all that mattered. He fucked you into the mattress with an intensity that left you breathless, as though he were trying to ground you both in this fleeting reality, where nothing else existed except for the two of you entwined together.

You melted around him, your juices mixing with his as you enveloped him completely, and just when you thought you couldn’t take any more, he lifted his head, your forehead resting against yours, his wide eyes locking into yours. You had never seen them so dark, so filled with intensity and strength.

And then it hit you: It was Joel, your Joel, the one who had been your best friend for four years, and here he was, fucking the life out of you like no one ever had before. What could possibly come after an experience like this?

“I thought you didn't like me,” he said, his voice choppy, strained with effort. A smirk played at the corners of his swollen lips. “Such a bad liar, baby, look at you.”

You growled in response, fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him towards you with a mix of force and anger. Your lips found his in a kiss that was anything but patient, igniting a spark between you. You felt him tense above you, one of his hands quickly moving to your center, exerting immense pressure as he leaned his weight on his other arm, holding you captive beneath him.

His fingers found your clit, tracing gentle circles that made your back arch involuntarily, another wave of pleasure building inside you. Your mouth was still on his, consuming him completely, when your second orgasm crashed over you like a tidal wave. You felt your insides tighten around him, squeezing him with a ferocity that pulled him closer to his own climax.

Joel gasped into your mouth, and the intensity of it sent your vision spiraling into darkness for a brief moment, the sensation so strong it felt as if the world had collapsed around you. When your breathing finally steadied, you found his hot body pressed against yours, moving in tiny tremors, quickened breaths brushing against your jaw.

He stayed inside you for a few moments longer, savoring the closeness, your hands continuing to caress his back, each touch a silent promise. Then, slowly, he pulled out of you, leaving you feeling achingly empty, his cum trickling from your entrance.

He fell limply beside you, his body slick with sweat, and pulled you close to him, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. His breaths, still heaving, crashed against your damp skin, wrapping you in warmth. Unable to muster the energy to move, you let your eyes flutter closed, surrendering to a deep, exhausted sleep that you would not remember when you woke up...

No, you didn't remember any dream, Because when you opened your eyes the next morning, you stirred in place and your muscles ached pleasantly, reminding you of the night before. And as you stretched your arms across the bed, your fingers grazed the sheets, feeling an emptiness beside you.

When you looked to your sides, the realization hit you hard.

Joel was gone.

taglist: @orcasoul

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proximaamidnightt · 11 days ago

Text

Jealousy, jealousy

Eddie Munson x y/n fem reader

Fun fact: this is one of the first fics I ever wrote and I fucking hate it. I keep toying with the idea of deleting it but some of you seem to like it so I’m leaving it up for now - just please don’t judge my writing too harshly based on this one 😅

Eddie and y/n are best friends, but when he starts blowing her off for the new girl he’s dating, she’s forced to confront some unresolved feelings for him. NSFW. 6k.

Warnings: smut (minors dni), unprotected p in v (wrap it before you tap it), angst, choking, fingering, dom Eddie, praise, smoking, alcohol use, swearing, mention of blood (think that’s everything!)

———————————————————————

“You wanna go rent a movie? Watch it at yours?”

You’re walking out to the school parking lot side by side with Eddie heading to his van. You always hang out on a Thursday, just the two of you. It’s a routine you’ve fallen into over the last two years since you started hanging out. Since you became best friends. Your social schedules are pretty busy, band practice Mondays and Wednesdays, Tuesdays at The Hideout, Hellfire on a Friday night, and you usually do something with any combination of Steve, Robin, Nancy and Jonathan on the weekends. So you love Thursdays, a chance to have Eddie all to yourself, undivided attention from your favourite person.

“Um, actually y/n, I’m just gonna have to drop you at home today” he replies, not looking at you.

You frown, looking up at him.

“You got other plans or something Munson?”

“Actually yeah. I’ve got a date.”

He might as well have just punched you in the chest. That’s how it feels, the air knocked from your lungs, and your stomach dropping.

“A date? With who?!”

He doesn’t answer, just hops quickly into his van and shuts the door. You jog around to the passenger side and climb in. As you click in your belt you ask him again.

He doesn’t look at you, pretending to be too busy checking his mirrors as he reverses (like he’s ever usually this careful).

“Jade Peters. She’s in my Chem class.”

You let out a snort. Jade fucking Peters? Sure she’s pretty, but you sat next to her in Math last year, and you know she’s dumber than a bag of rocks.

“Why are you going on a date with her?”

“Because she asked me.” He says with a shrug of his shoulders.

You don’t talk for the rest of the drive, chewing anxiously on your lip. When Eddie pulls up to your house you swing open the van door, muttering a thanks as you hop out. As you turn to close the door he smiles at you.

“Don’t be too mad at me for cancelling tonight sweetheart. I’ll make it up to you.” You feel your heart melt at sweetheart, and your expression softens.

“You’d better. Have fun tonight I guess”.

He nods and turns the music up so loud it’s a wonder he doesn’t blow the speakers, then roars away, always a more reckless driver when you’re not in the van.

-:-

In your room you lay back on your bed, trying to ignore than pain in your chest. Eddie was going on a date, and it wasn’t with you. It’s not the first time another girl’s caught his attention, you’d both had a couple of hook ups over the years with other people, but that’s all they were. A date seemed so much more… serious. What if he really like her? What if he fell in love with her?

No. There was no way that was going to happen. You were sure that tomorrow morning he’d pick you up for school and tell you just how terrible the date had been, and how he would never see Jade again.

-:-

Except that didn’t happen. When he picked you up the following morning he was happy, a stupid grin on his face. He told you just how well the date had gone, how she was really sweet, and she laughed at all his jokes, and she didn’t mind driving around in his shitty beat up van. Your stomach was in knots, but all you could do was force a smile on your face and pretend you were happy for him, when inside you wanted to scream.

At lunch you approached your usual table with Robin who had joined your little band of freaks along with Nancy. When you get there, you realise there’s another new addition. Jade.

You sit down in an empty seat next to Gareth, and catch Nancy’s eye. She can see your clenched jaw, and gives you a knowing look. You spend the next fourty minutes pushing your food around on your tray, but for once it’s not the unappetising cafeteria offerings that have ruined your appetite. Jade was constantly giggling at every remark Eddie made, the high pitched noise cutting through you like a knife. See was preening under his attention, flicking her hair and pouting her lips. It made you want to vomit. Still you tried to reassure yourself, he was surely going to get sick of her soon. She was just so not Eddie.

-:-

You continue to be surprised at just how wrong you can be. Over the next two weeks Jade became a regular fixture in your life, turning up at every lunch and band practice, even coming along to your shows at The Hideout. You just couldn’t escape her, or her stupid giggling. You also couldn’t escape the looks you began to notice. The way she’d glance at you then whisper something in Eddies ear to make him laugh, and you’d feel the heat rise up your neck and flush your face. Or when she’d walk up behind him at lunch, draping her arms around his shoulders, making direct eye contact with you, a smug smirk on her face. You fucking hated her.

And the more she was around, the less you saw of Eddie. Sure he still showed up to practice, and you’d still all get together on the weekends. But there was no time for just the two of you, on Thursday’s he’d drop you home then head off to spend more time with Jade.

To say you were heartbroken was an understatement. Not only because of the feelings you had for Eddie that you’d tried to ignore and bury away, but because you missed your best friend. It felt like you were losing him, like you didn’t matter to him anymore, and it scared you.

-:-

On Friday Eddie’s too busy to give you your usual lift to Hellfire, so Nancy swings by and picks you up on her way to get Dustin. You kick Mike out of the front seat and rest your head back, a deep sigh escaping you.

“How’re you feeling?” Nancy asks softly. You pinch at your forehead, trying to massage out the tension.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” You force a smile which she returns, turning her attention back to the road. Once you’ve collected Dustin the two boys sit in the back babbling away, and you press your head against the window, the condensation dampening your forehead.

You soon pull up to the school, and the boys immediately jump out, as Nancy yells to them that if they’re not out by 9 she’ll leave without them.

You thank her for the lift, and she reaches across, giving your hand a quick squeeze.

“Love you y/n”.

“Love you too Nance, see you in a bit”

You climb out and follow the boys into the building.

Dustin pushes through the door to the theatre room and immediately stops in his tracks. Mike is also gawking, mouth hanging open and eyebrows raised. You push past them and realise what’s got them so confused. Jade’s here. And she’s sitting in your seat.

“What’s up guys, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Eddie teases, leaning back in his throne.

“Uhhh nothing, just didn’t expect an extra guest that’s all”.

Eddie chuckles.

“Well Jade wanted to know a little more about the game, so she’s going to watch us play tonight, isn’t that right babe?” You flinch slightly at the pet name, pulling out the chair furthest away from the couple and throw yourself down into it. You don’t look at Eddie, so you miss his eyebrows raising at your lack of complaint about your seat. You’ve always sat on his right, ever since you first joined Hellfire. Eddie had always made it obvious no one else could sit in his throne, but your chair was an unspoken rule, nobody ever dared sit there.

“Hope you guys don’t mind!” Jade giggles.

“The more the merrier” Dustin smiles as him and Mike sit down next to you.

The whole evening is painful. You’re silent as much as possible, barely focusing on the campaign as Eddie and Jade distract you. She giggles constantly at Eddie’s theatrics, interrupting frequently to ask questions. You’d expect Eddie to be furious at the disruption, but he just grins, absentmindedly twirling a lock of her hair around his finger as he speaks. She’s touching him constantly, holding his hand, rubbing his arm, leaning over to plant kisses on his cheek. Each time you can feel her eyes on you, she’s trying to get a reaction, but you keep your gaze firmly glued on the table in front of you, not wanting to give her the satisfaction.

Once you’re done, you grab your belongings and immediately leave, not staying to help tidy up like every week before. You hear Eddie call your name, but you don’t bother to answer.

When you close the door of Nancys car behind you, you immediately start to cry.

“Oh no, y/n! What happened? Was she here?” Nancy asks, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. You only manage a nod, and she pulls you in for a hug.

Dustin and Mike climb into the back, looking confused.

“What’s up with y/n” Mike asks. Nancy shoots him a look that shuts him up, and you drive the rest of the way in silence.

When you finally get home you run straight to your bedroom, flinging yourself down onto your bed and sob into your pillow. You hated Jade, so desperately jealous of her having everything you wanted. But you hated Eddie more. You’d always known that one day this might have happened, he’d meet some other girl and any hope you held for the two of you would be dashed, but you’d never expected him to treat you like this. You were best friends, didn’t that mean anything? You’d gone from feeling like the most important person in his life to feeling like nobody. You don’t even manage to get changed into your PJs, crying yourself to exhaustion and falling asleep face down fully dressed.

-:-

The following evening you’re readying yourself for a party at Steve’s, not that you even felt up to going. You’d had a pounding headache for most of the day, and a dull pain in your chest that made it hard to breathe.

You stepped out of the shower, wrapping yourself in a fluffy towel and wiping the steam off the mirror with your hand. As you studied your reflection, you thought of seeing Eddie and Jade tonight. You could already imagine how they’d be all over each other, rubbing it in your face.

Well fuck that. You weren’t going to let anyone see you upset, not tonight.

You dry your hair and then make a start on your make up - large eyes lined in smudged kohl, thick lashes heavy under three coats of mascara. You line your lips, filling them in with a deep shade of red, then admire your handiwork in the mirror. You smile to yourself, feeling more confident already. You roll your fishnets up over your thighs, slipping on the shortest skirt you owned, and pulling a tight top over your chest that was cut to show just enough cleavage. You pull on your boots and head downstairs, slipping out through the front door to meet Nancy, your ride for the night again. You climb into the back of the car, and look up to see Nance and Jonathan turning to look at you in surprise.

“Jonathan, put your tongue back in your head” Nancy quipped, making the boy stutter and turn back in his seat.

“You look lovely. Dressing up for anything in particular?” She asked, a small smirk on her lips.

“No. Just looking forward to having a good night, that’s all”.

-:-

Nancy parks her car down the road from the house, and the three of you walk together.

As you head up the driveway you can already hear the thumping base, and shouts and laughter from inside. Robin opens the door as if she lives here, pulling all of you in for a hug.

“I was wondering when you’d show up! Steve - STEVE they’re here!” She’s definitely a little tipsy already.

Steve’s head pops through a doorway, and he grins, waving at you all to join him. You head into the crowded kitchen and he presses a cup into your hand, filled to the brim with a dark liquid. You raise it to your nose and sniff, eyes watering. It smells foul, but it’s strong and you knock it back in one.

“Damn y/n’s going wild tonight!” He laughs, watching as you reach to the punch bowl and scoop up another drink. Robin’s talking away at a millions miles per minute in your ear about Vickie, and you slip your hand into hers, pulling her with you as you snake your way through the bodies in the kitchen, out the back door to the garden. She continues to chatter as you light up a cigarette and lean back against the wall. That’s when you see them, huddled together on a chair, Jade sitting on Eddies lap. He spots you instantly, his eyes travelling down from your face to your chest, then your thighs in their fishnets, then back up to lock eyes with you. He presses a kiss to Jade’s jaw as his gaze holds yours, and your roll you eyes, turning your body to fully face Robin. You have no interest in talking to him tonight.

-:-

A little later on and you’re on your third drink, a warmth spreading through your body from the alcohol. You head into the kitchen, about to top up your cup again when a large hand wraps around your wrist, cold rings pressing into your skin.

“I think you’ve had enough, don’t you sweetheart?”

You look up at Eddie, his expression intense and serious. You laugh in his face before trying to pull your wrist away, although his strong grip doesn’t allow you to, and now you’re scowling at him.

“It’s not any of your fucking business.” You snarl at him, and he looks shocked at your tone.

“It is my business if my best friend is drinking more than she can handle”.

“Best friend? Hardly. You barely even speak to me anymore.” You want the words to be biting and cruel, but the pain you’re feeling leaks into your voice and betrays you.

Eddie’s doe eyes meet yours, and he softens his hold on your wrist.

“Because you’re being so weird with me, it’s like you’re angry at me or something.”

“Maybe I am angry. Because all you want to do is blow me off to spend time with your stupid fucking girlfriend” you hiss.

He lets go of your wrist, but leans in, his face less than an inch from yours, and you can see the smirk forming on his lips.

“You’re jealous” he whispers.

“I am not!”

He laughs. “You absolutely are y/n. You can’t lie to me, it’s written all over your face.”

You feel humiliated, your eyes growing hot as tears threaten to spill.

“I am not fucking jealous” you spit through gritted teeth. “I don’t give a shit who you’re fucking, I just care about you treating me like - I’m - trash!” you punctuate your last words with three hard stabs of your finger into his chest, before throwing down your empty cup and storming away from him.

Fuck Eddie and his stupid smug face.

You wander into the living room and find Nancy, who grabs your hands and pulls you to dance with her. You sway in time with the music, holding your arms above your head and spinning. You don’t want to think about Eddie anymore, you just want to enjoy yourself with your friends. Robin and Steve soon appear, and you dance together for three more songs. You find yourself truly relaxing, almost forgetting entirely about your argument with Eddie.

That is until he comes pushing through the crowd, his face twisted in anger. He grabs your wrist again, much harder than before and pulls you close to him.

“We’re leaving” he hisses in your ear, and you feel yourself cringe at his tone. He continues to storm through the dancing bodies, pulling you behind him so hard you almost trip, struggling to catch up with him. Nancy and Robin call your name, but all you can do is give them a quick wave with your free hand before you disappear into the hallway and then out the front door. Eddie doesn’t slow his pace, practically dragging you behind him in the direction of his van.

“Eddie, Eddie! What’s going on?” you shout.

He doesn’t answer you, just pulls open the passenger door before releasing your wrist. He walks around to the other side and climbs in.

You stand in front of the open door, hesitating for a moment, holding your arms around your middle as the cool night air bites at your flesh.

“Get in the fucking van”.

You’ve never heard him talk like this, never seen him this angry. You’re not scared of him, you could never be scared of Eddie, but there’s something about his voice that makes you feel so small and intimidated. You do as you’re told, barely closing the door behind you before he’s speeding off down the road.

As he drives, you sneak a few glances at him. His eyes never leave the road ahead of him, but his jaw is tight, the veins in his neck standing out, and his knuckles are white from how hard he’s gripping the steering wheel.

“Eddie, where are we going?”

“Shut up.”

After a while you recognise the roads and realise you’re heading to the trailer park. He’s taking you home, back to his trailer, but you can’t work out why. And you don’t dare ask him anymore questions.

-:-

He pulls up to his home and gets out of the van, slamming the door closed behind him making you jump. You hurry to get out too, and scramble up the steps to the trailer behind him. Once inside he heads straight to his room without saying a word. You follow him, and find him leant against his desk, his hand rubbing at his jaw.

You stand in the middle of his room, unsure of what to do or say. There’s an uncomfortably long silence before he finally speaks.

“Jade broke up with me.”

“Oh. I’m s-“

“No! No. Don’t you dare tell me you’re sorry because we both know you’re not.”

You look down at your feet, feeling ashamed of yourself. You were so busy being wrapped up in how hurt you were, you’d been neglecting to think about Eddies feelings in any of this.

“Look at me.”

You bring your eyes up to meet his, his eyes so dark they look almost black.

“Apparently she felt uncomfortable with our relationship. Didn’t like how close we are, and when she saw us arguing tonight she felt like something suspicious was going on.”

You still don’t dare to speak.

“Are you happy?” He asks.

No. Of course you’re not happy. You're not happy because you’ve hurt him, and because he’s angry at you, and because he’ll never want you in the way you want him.

He steps towards you, holding your gaze until he’s almost pressed against you. You tilt your head back to look up at his face.

“You said you didn’t give a shit who I was fucking. Is that true?”

Meekly you shake your head.

“Were you jealous?” His face goes blurry as tears fill your eyes, and you give a small nod. He sighs deeply, closing his eyes as his frown deepens.

“Get on the bed.”

“Wh-what?”

“I said get on the bed y/n.”

You stare up at him for a moment, blinking in confusion, and your hesitation seems to enrage him even more. He grabs hold of you by the tops of your arms, roughly manhandling you towards his bed before pushing you back so you fall onto it.

You gasp at his actions, watching as he steps forwards to you again.

“Tell me why you care so much about who I’m fucking?” he asks looking down at you.

“I - I don’t know” you whimper.

“Yes you do, so tell me the truth.”

You shake your head slightly, and he leans forwards, a large hand gripping your jaw harshly.

“Why do you care y/n?” he whispers the words softly, his lips so close to yours you can feel the heat of his breath. “Is it because you want it to be you?”

You feel incapable of speech, so you just nod again as a tear spills out and rolls down your cheek. He wipes it away with the thumb gripping your face.

“I need to hear you say it, can you do that for me?” his voice softens, he sounds like normal Eddie, your Eddie.

“I w-want you to fuck me.” your voice is barely audible, but it’s enough for him. His lips crash against yours and you lean into the kiss, your faces pressed together, noses clashing. His teeth nip at your bottom lip and you let out a small moan, his tongue licking filthily into your mouth. It’s a hot, messy kiss, the taste of cigarettes and booze mixing on your tongues, leaving you feeling intoxicated. Your hands reach up to grab at his curls but he grabs your wrists, pinning them above your head.

“Let me tell you how this is going to go” he sneers, the dominance back in his voice, and it causes a wetness to form between your legs.

“You’re going to do exactly what I tell you, when I tell you to do it. And if you stop behaving like a little brat, then I’ll fuck you. Do you think you can do that for me y/n? Can you be a good girl for me?”

You whine and nod your head desperately. “Yes, yes I’ll be good I promise.”

Eddie stands with a smirk, reaching up to grab the back of his shirt and pulling it over his head. You take in his lean torso, the subtle muscles flexing in his arms, the black ink littering his pale skin, and the small trail of dark hair leading down from his belly button into his pants. You’re desperate to touch him, so you push yourself up, arms reaching out to feel his skin.

He swiftly pushes you back down, his large hands on your shoulders pinning you to the bed.

“I didn’t say you could move sweetheart”.

His hands trace down your sides until he reaches the bottom on your shirt. He pulls gently at the material, lifting it up to reveal your stomach, then up over your breasts and neck, until it’s completely off. One hand snakes under you to unclasp your bra, and he pulls it off you hurriedly. He looks down at you, his hand lightly tracing up and down across your stomach, making your skin erupt into goosebumps.

“So fucking pretty” he breathes. He leans down, placing small kisses against your neck, his hand still dancing across your belly, his actions so gentle and at odds with his dominance. Suddenly, he nips at your neck hard, pulling the skin between his teeth. You hiss, but then sigh as his tongue flicks over the skin, soothing it. He repeats this, marking your neck and then moving down to your chest, biting and sucking and kissing until you’re covered in bruises. He reaches your breasts and takes a nipple between his teeth, pulling on it slightly and you moan loudly, gripping the bed sheets above your head as you try desperately not to disobey him by grabbing his head. He moves to the other breast, sucking hard on your nipple as his hand moves down from your stomach to flip up your skirt, his fingers tracing over your clothed cunt so lightly he barely touches you. It’s still enough to ignite the fire in you, and you buck you hips up to meet his hand instinctively. He slaps your thigh, not enough to really hurt but there’s a slight sting, and you’re surprised to feel your cunt clench at the sensation.

“You need to be patient sweetheart” he mumbles against your breast.

He sits up and grips your skirt and fishnets, pulling them both down and off your body in one smooth motion. He smiles, looking down at you, almost naked and spread out for him. Your pupils are blown out with lust, lips swollen from his kisses, skin covered in purple bruises and teeth marks. You’re an absolute mess, and he’s hardly touched you yet.

He presses his finger at the entrance to your hole over your panties, and you’re embarrassed to hear a slight squelch.

“Fuck, you’re so wet sweetheart. Is this all just from me kissing you?” he asks teasingly.

His fingers ghost over your inner thighs, coming just to the edge of your panties before retreating back to your knees. He repeats the motion and you writhe on the bed, panting and whining.

“Eddie” you whimper pathetically.

“Yeah? What is it baby? What do you want?”

“I want you to touch me.”

“But I am touching you baby.” he coos.

You shake your head, more tears in your eyes.

“No no no.”

“Ssshhhh it’s okay.” He grips your underwear and pulls it down slowly, before tossing it aside. You spread your legs, desperate for some form of contact, and he chuckles quietly.

“You’re so needy baby”

“Please” you whine. He finally gives in, a long finger swiping through your folds, collecting your slick before he brings it to your swollen bud and presses. A filthy moan escapes your throat as he begins to rub small circles on your clit, slowly at first, painfully slow. But his pace gradually increases, and you can’t help your hips raising. He laughs quietly, placing his free hand on your hip and pressing you down into the bed so you can’t move. He slides his finger back to your entrance, gently pressing in until you can feel the cold metal of his ring against your cunt. He curls his finger, pressing the soft spongy spot in you that has you almost seeing stars, as his rough thumb continues to rub your clit. He pumps his finger in and out of you, and you feel the heat burning in your stomach, your muscles tensing as you move closer and closer to your release.

You’re babbling now, a string of curses and moans falling from your lips.

“Eddie. Fuck I’m - I'm so close, so close”

He pulls his finger out of you, and you hiss at the loss, feeling yourself fall away from your orgasm.

“No, no please no, I’ve been good” you beg.

“Shhhhh. Stop talking” he orders, pressing his finger, still slick with your juices to your lips. You look into his eyes and know what he wants, parting your lips and allowing him to push his finger across your tongue. You close your mouth and suck his fingers, and he moans as swirl you tongue around the digit.

He pulls his finger from your mouth, and stands up, shaking his head with a smile.

“Fuck. I had no idea you’d be so dirty”. You blush, and turn your head to the side, pressing it against his pillow.

“Don’t shy away now sweet girl.”

You look back up at him, and he removes his belt, sliding his jeans and boxers down and stepping out of them. Your mouth falls open at the sight of his cock springing up, flushed red with want, a pearl of precum leaking from the tip. You’d always known it was big, you’d once awoken to it digging into your back after the two of you had fallen asleep cuddled up on the couch watching Friday the 13th. But the sight of it now surprised you, the length you were prepared for, but the girth was unexpected. You felt your walls clench at the sight of him, the fire of your denied orgasm still burning in your belly.

He falls down over you, propping himself up on one elbow to keep his weight off of you, his free hand wrapping around the base of his cock. He looks down as he lightly pressed his tip against your folds, a smile spreading across his face as he hears your breathing hitch. He begins to gently swipe the head of his cock up and down your dripping sex, pressing against your sensitive clit causing you to whine. He teases you for what feels like hours, and the desperation you feel at your denied pleasure begins to feel painful. You ache for him to fill you, you need it like you need air to breath.

“Eddie. Please, please.”

He looks up to your face, taking in the beautiful sight before him. Tears pour down your cheeks, your lip swollen from biting down on it. He reaches up to gently stroke your tears away, before running his thumb across your bottom lip. He presses a gentle kiss to your lip, the taste of him mixing with the salt of your tears.

“What is is baby? What do you want?” he murmurs against your lips. You buck your hips up, his cock rubbing against your pelvis as you try to show him what you need.

“Use your words sweetheart”.

You let out a shaky sigh, trying to find the strength to form the words.

“Please. Eddie, I want you to fuck me.” He smiles, a glint in his eyes as he pushes himself up, kneeling above you.

“Oh you do? How badly do you want it?” He teases. His dark eyes are locked onto yours, his voice husky and deeper than usual, like he’s been taken over by his lust, determined to make you a trembling crying mess.

“Badly.”

“Beg.”

Your brain is so muddled, so distracted from the sensation between your legs and the sight of Eddie naked above you, it takes you a second for his order to register.

“Eddie pleeeease”. He shakes his head, still smiling.

“You’ll have to do better than that sweetheart.”

You grab at his forearms, clinging to him, nails pressing crescent moons into his skin.

“Please Eddie. I want you, I need you to fuck me. Christ, I’ve always wanted you, only you.” If you weren’t so caught up in the moment and desperate to be touched you’d be embarrassed by how pathetic and whiny your voice sounds. But it seems your words have have the desired effect, Eddie’s brow raise slightly at your emotional admission. He lays back down over you, pressing gentle kisses to you cheeks, your forehead, even the tip of you nose. He cups your cheek, tilting you head back to give him access to your neck.

“It’s okay baby. I’m going to give you what you want.”

He sucks on the sweet spot where your neck meets your shoulder eliciting a loud moan from you. When he slides his cock into you, burying straight to the hilt without warning the sound you make is almost pornographic. You head pushes back against the pillow and Eddie gasps against your neck as he bottoms out, feeling your walls squeeze around him. You feel a burn as he stretches you out, but it feels too good for you to care, you’re so full, so full of Eddie and it’s better than you could have ever imagined.

He rolls his hips back pulling out a few inches before pushing back into you. He begins a slow and steady rhythm, one hand gripping your hip, the other tracing up and down the side of your face. He kisses you constantly as he fucks into you, you moan into each others mouths, tongues licking into each other, biting at lips and pulling.

You want more, need more from him. You raise the angle of your hips, legs crossing behind him, one ankle hooked over the other. You drag your nails up his back and he hisses at your touch. You hold his shoulders as you kiss your way up his neck to his ear, and you half moan, half whisper to him.

“F-faster.”

Eddie grunts in response, his hips snapping forwards harder and you groan as he hits just the right spot. He increases his pace, slamming into you frantically, the room filled with lewd sound of skin slapping against skin and both of your moans, increasing in volume.

He pushes himself upright again, resting on his knees. He grabs your hips and pulls you, your back still flat to the bed but your hips now raised up onto his lap, one leg draped either side of him.

“Fuck sweetheart. S-so tight, you’re fucking gripping me” he says as he brings his fingers up to lazily circle your clit. Your walls clench, and his head falls back, eyes rolling.

With this new angle his thrusts hit deeper, not that you even thought that was possible. You feel the coil in you tightening, threatening to snap.

“I- I’m gonna cu-“ you choke out.

“No” he spits, hand flying up to grip you neck, applying just enough pressure to the sides of your throat to have your back arching up off the bed.

“Hold it. You don’t cum until I tell you.”

You moan in frustration, biting down on your bottom lip so hard you split the skin, the taste of iron on your tongue. His hips continue to snap forwards, but they’re stuttering now, his rhythm messy, and you feel his cock twitch inside you as he nears his high.

“I’m almost there baby. Just hold it a little longer.”

A sob escapes you, more tears falling as you desperately try to keep yourself together. Each thrust hits just the right spot, and you find yourself holding your breath, knowing you won’t be able to last much longer.

Eddie pants above you, and finally he gives you the permission you need, his voice strained.

“Let go sweetheart. Cum with me.”

The coil snaps, your whole body tensing as white hot pleasure sears through every muscle. Eddie groans as he feels you tighten around him, and he releases, hot ropes of cum filling your insides. He continues to fuck you both through your orgasms, kissing you hard and repeating your name over and over against your mouth like it’s a prayer.

He slowly stops his movements, his cock softening inside you as you both breathe shakily, bodies covered in a sheen of sweat. He pulls out, cooing to you softly as you whine at the loss.

He flops down on his back beside you, reaching out to pull you to him. You lay your head against his chest, listening to his heart pounding. He strokes your skin with his rough fingertips, whispering to you how he’s proud of you, you were such a good girl for him. Your head feels fuzzy at the praise, and the words slip out breathlessly before you can stop them.

“I love you Eddie.”

He presses a kiss to the top of your head, his arms tightening around you.

“I know y/n. I love you too.”

——————————————————————

Hope you like it! 🖤🖤🖤

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proximaamidnightt · 11 days ago

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Bartender

Pairing: Jax Teller x Female!Reader

Word Count: 739

Summary: You’re a bartender and Jax wants you.

Warnings: 18+ only please, just some innuendo and flirting, Jax (because duh 🥵)

A/N: This was literally inspired by my Spotify DJ playing me “Bartender” by T-Pain on my drive home from work today. Written on my phone, all mistakes are my own. Enjoy, babes! 😘

The first time Jax saw you, you were behind the bar. He’d strolled in, looking for a quiet drink, but the second his eyes landed on you, something shifted. You were naturally seductive—thick, curvy in all the right ways, your body a perfect balance of sensuality and strength. You wore confidence like a second skin, and your curves were just part of what drew him in. It was the way you moved—every step deliberate, every glance from your eyes felt like a caress.

When your gaze flicked up and met his, a slow, teasing smile curved your lips, and Jax knew right then, you were trouble. He hadn’t even said a word, but something in your look told him you knew exactly what kind of effect you had on him.

After that night, he found himself coming back more often than he intended. It wasn’t just for the whiskey anymore—it was for you. He’d sit in his usual spot, watch the way you worked the bar, how effortlessly you flirted with the other customers, keeping them just close enough to stay interested but never letting them in. It drove him crazy, the way you kept that mystery wrapped around you. He wanted to unwrap it, see what was underneath.

And you knew it.

Every time you poured his drink, your fingers brushed his a little longer than necessary, your eyes lingering on his lips before meeting his gaze. You flirted, but never gave too much, always keeping him on the edge. You played the game well, but Jax could feel the heat beneath your cool exterior. He saw it in the way you’d bite your lip when his eyes roamed over you, in the way you’d shift just slightly when he got too close.

Tonight, when you poured his whiskey, your body leaned just a little closer, giving him a full view of your curves. Your fingers grazed his hand, sending that familiar jolt straight through him, but this time your touch lingered—deliberate, teasing.

“You know,” Jax started, his voice a low rumble as he leaned back in his chair, his eyes devouring you, “you’re makin’ it real hard to keep my mind on anything but you.”

Your lips parted slightly, a sly smile playing at the corner of your mouth. “That right?” you asked, your voice dripping with flirtation. You leaned forward, your breasts just brushing the bar, close enough for him to catch your scent—a sweet, intoxicating mix of perfume and desire. “Maybe you need a distraction.”

Jax’s eyes darkened, the heat between you thickening. “Oh, I’m distracted, sweetheart,” he said, his voice rough around the edges, gravelly in a way that sent a thrill down your spine. “I think about you all the time. But I don’t play games. If you’re lookin’ for somethin’, I’ll give it to you straight.”

You tilted your head, leaning even closer so your lips were inches from his ear. “Who says I’m playing?” you whispered, your breath warm against his skin, the challenge unmistakable in your tone.

Jax’s hand flexed, his fingers tightening around the glass as he let out a low chuckle. “Careful,” he warned, his voice dropping an octave, “you keep talkin’ like that, and I might just take you up on it.”

You pulled back just enough to look him in the eye, your smile deepening. “Maybe I want you to.”

The look that passed between you could have set the room on fire. Jax’s jaw clenched, his body coiled tight like a predator ready to strike, but he kept himself in check—just barely. He wasn’t about to let you win that easily.

“I’m not the kind of guy who does things halfway, darlin’,” Jax said, his voice low and dangerous, “so if you’re gonna keep teasin’ me like this, you better be ready for what comes next.”

Your smile didn’t falter. If anything, it grew more wicked, your eyes sparkling with anticipation. “I can handle it,” you whispered, letting your fingers trace the edge of the bar before turning away, leaving him with the promise of something more hanging in the air.

Jax watched you walk away, his pulse pounding in his veins. You were making it hard for him to keep his cool, but he wasn’t going to rush this. He wanted you—every inch, every breath, every moan—and when the time came, he wasn’t going to hold back.

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proximaamidnightt · 11 days ago

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proximaamidnightt · 11 days ago

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proximaamidnightt · 11 days ago

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proximaamidnightt · 15 days ago

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A third?

The time we've all been waiting for. I wish you luck as you ride this rollercoaster. People wanted the end to be fluff so you got it

⚠️It's going to hurt but work out. If you hate when the reader forgives Eddie then you might want to pass on this. Warnings: smut 18+, talks of addiction- drugs and alcohol.

I hope you guys like it. I worked really hard and had so many ideas for this so it's very long. I didn't want to break it up into parts because I wanted you to feel every piece of it and end with all those feelings together. Enjoy!

The end of it is not proofread

~~~

Y/N had a reputation. A reputation no mother was proud of, no father approved of, and one that all the boys loved. She was crazy, wild, and fearless. When she spent all of her childhood trying to be someone her parents could be proud of, just for it to still not be good enough. She gave up. She was tired of the disappointment from her parents when she tried so hard. So why keep trying? She embraced the disappointment and made it who she was. All throughout highschool she went to parties, got drunk and had sex with whoever took her home.

Funny enough, she never once did weed until Eddie Munson. She had a crush on the senior during his first senior year. Back when she was still slightly daddy's good girl, so she never made the move. But now it was her senior year and his third. It was her final chance so she took it.

Granted, she bought endless bags of weed from him but never did it. She just needed the excuse to see him, talk to him, and enjoy each other's company. She never touched a single drug until Eddie changed everything.

The first time she got high was because Eddie wanted to meet at his trailer for the deal. He had a shitty day and needed to smoke, he offered to do it together. She panicked because he believes she's been doing drugs for a month at this point. But she wasn't going to blow it. So together, they got high. Passing a joint made from his skilled fingers in his living room.

Then she realized how good it felt. How her mind felt like it was in the clouds. Her body was going numb but had a buzzing to it. She didn't feel like a disappointment, or not good enough. She just felt nothing. And she liked it.

From there on the two got high at her deals. Which became more frequent as she was slowly falling into a hole of needing weed whenever she felt the world was too much. Sinking deeper into this addiction. But she was fine. Totally fine.

One night when they got high, their relationship changed. Her crush for him was getting too hard to ignore. Watching his eyelids close as he puffed in the air. His body relaxing as his lips sucked on the joint. It was like watching porn. The way he'd sit further in the couch, spreading his legs even wider. His left hand resting on his crotch as his right handed her the joint. She grabbed the joint but ashed it out.

"what are you doing? I would have finished that if you didn't want it" he complained but her eyes were stuck on the way his lips moved

"I want something else" she breathed out. Taking the leap and throwing herself on his lap. She didn't bother to wait for a reaction, just slamming her lips on his in a rush.

He was caught off guard but moaned instantly. His large hands moving up her body. Trailing his hands from her thighs to her back and up her neck. She tasted like the weed but strawberry lipgloss. He kissed her back more desperately. Moving his hips to rut up against her. He knew this girl went after who she wanted. Half the locker room has slept with her. Bragging about how crazy and wild she was in the sheets. She's a girl that would do anything. She pulled back breathless and moaned. Rocking her hips into his growing bulge in his jeans.

He was an even better kisser than she thought. She knew a boy like this had to be dirty and experienced. The way he carried himself. Sure he may be a three times senior but God was he hot.

She dove into his neck, sucking on the available skin harshly.

"fuck baby" he used his hands to help move her hips against him. Feeling himself grow harder. He doesn't know if it was because he's been high for hours or it was her, but he never felt this good.

She pulled away from his neck, his eyes blown out and red. Her hands reached for his belt, unbuckling it fast. Eddie helped loosen his jeans, helping her pull them down to his ankles. As she got down on her knees, he pulled his cock out of his boxers, standing straight up and hard

"you wanna suck me off baby? Huh?" He smirked while watching as she licked her lips, staring at his cock and nothing else. "you wanna suck my thick fat cock?" He asked again, finger hooking under her chin to make her look up

"yes Eddie please" her eyes looking up

Without saying anything he pushed his tip up against her lips, slapping the hardness on her bottom lip.

"open up for me" he demanded, she obeys. Silently opening her mouth as wide as she could.

The second she tasted him on her tongue, she was already moaning. He was thick and fat and long.

She hollowed her cheeks and took him as far as she could. Eddie threw his head back and tangled a hand in her hair the other hand lifting up his shirt for more skin to show.

Her eyes traced the available skin. His smooth chest, decorated with ink and moles. His stomach flat with a happy trail leading to his dark curls. If she already wasn't on her knees for him, she definitely would have been.

He was moaning as he moved her head further on him. Fucking her throat as fast as he could. Feeling his stomach clenching every time he hit the back of her throat. She hummed around him, the vibrations around his cock had him choking on his own moans.

"that's so fucking good" he hummed. Smiling down at the gorgeous view. Her eyes looking up at him through her lashes. Mouth sucking him fully, all the way down to his pubic bone. Her nose pressed into his dark patch of curls. One hand digging her nails into his thighs and the other scratching up and down his stomach.

She removed herself off of his cock, taking in air as she pumped his length

"so big Eddie" she whined. He was a sight to see.

His eyes hooded as he stared down at her.

A small smirk on his lips

His stomach had nail marks dragging down

"you got to stop or I'm going to cum" he warned. His stomach was already tightening at the thought, his thighs clenching.

"so cum" she smirked, mouth sucking on his sensitive tip

"no I want....no I want....I need to cum in you gorgeous" he stuttered out

She removed her mouth, standing up

He took deep breaths to stop his upcoming orgasm

Watching as she stripped herself bare.

"you are so gorgeous" he whined. Her naked body looked perfect

"gonna let me ride you? Bounce my tight cunt on your fat cock?"

He nodded, watching as she climbed on his lap. He gripped his cock, pushing up into her as she sat down on him

Both moaning as she was fully on him.

"Jesus fuck you are so tight and wet" he moaned, moving her hips against him as she rocked. His mouth latched on to her nipples, that were bouncing in his face. She was bouncing on his cock fast, screaming as she clenched around him.

Sucking on her nipple, swirling his tongue around the bud, and the other hand twisting her other nipple. Making sure both got equal attention. She yanked on his hair, ripping his mouth off of her. Shoving her tongue deep into his mouth.

He felt like his body was on fire listening to her sweet moans all night.

After that night, they fell into a friend's with benefits situation. They didn't talk much at school, never really in the same area together. Her deals were weekly, blowing through her weed as fast as she could to keep her mind empty. And every deal ended the same. Sweating, panting, and moaning with Eddie Munson. Skin on skin, lips everywhere and wandering hands.

The situation went on for two more months before she felt herself craving him more. She tried to ignore the pain when she'd wake up in her bed and he was gone. Or how at the deals they never spoke a word on it. Almost like it was a secret they were hiding, even from each other. But when she's had feelings for this guy for almost three years, and now she has him, of course it was going to get worse. Of course she was going to fall in love.

The last bits of a good girl in her were dying as she picked up endless bottles. Drinking her nights away at parties, ending them in different beds on random pillows.

You could call her a whore, she doesn't care. An alcoholic, she doesn't care. A druggie, she doesn't care. Because at least she wasn't disappointing anyone other than her parents.

But when she was stone cold sober and her heart was still asking for Eddie, she knew she was in love. A secret she needed to keep to herself, no matter what..... Or until she got high in her bedroom with him across from her again.

"Eddie can I ask you something?" She asked

He nodded, blowing the smoke into the air between them

"if I were to tell you that I'm in love with you, what would you say?"

He froze. Eyes wide open as he looked at the girl across from him. A girl he's fucked for the past few months. Endless orgasms on her and in her. But this made him shy.

"um...I'd say you don't mean that. You aren't sober" he confessed. It was true. He doesn't believe a word out of her mouth. She was always high or drunk. Does she even have sober thoughts ever?

"even when I am sober I still feel this way for you." She admitted, scooting closer to him

"no you don't" he snapped. Crushing his joint on the ash tray

She watched as he got up, throwing on his shoes in a rush

"excuse me?"

"oh come on Y/N. You don't think that I know you are still fucking other guys? You love me? That's just bullshit. I need to go."

He was out the door before she could even react. Somehow it felt better to not know when he leaves her in bed, than to actually watch him walk out the door.

She wasn't going to give up though.

The next morning she was on his doorstep, knocking as she nervously picked at her sweatshirt.

"Y/N, what are you doing here?" Eddie sighed as he opened the door.

She looked exhausted, bags under her eyes and her hair was thrown up.

"I'm really fucking sober and I'm in love with you" she said softly. She's never confessed to something so strong before. She's filled her body with men, alcohol and all kinds of drugs. But being filled with anxiety was the worst thing.

"I can't see myself with you when you're like this. You are more fucked up than sober. I can't trust you, the second you get drunk or high, or whatever fucking drug you are on, you'll run into a bed with someone else. " He admitted. And he wanted to be honest. Even if he liked her, it wouldn't work. When she's drunk or high she finds any guy that's next to her. He can't and will not put himself through that pain.

"what If I change? Get sober and prove how bad I want you?" And she was dead serious. Eddie was more important than random sex, alcohol and drugs. Maybe this is what she needed. A push to get sober.

"just go home Y/N" he said sadly and shut the door.

Her eyes stung but she blinked the tears away. If she wanted Eddie Munson all she had to do was prove it.

She went to her best friend, Chrissy. Chrissy knew what it was like to grow up a disappointment. Chrissy handled it better, it motivated her to be better. Y/N just slipped. Chrissy watched her go down endless spirals. She doesn't even remember what her best friends' sober eyes looked like. Her best friend has been missing for years.

Chrissy was more than happy to help Y/N get back on track. She helped her clean her room, throwing away bottle after bottle. Helped her flush every drug she had in her nightstand. Collected the bags of weed and threw them out.

"I'm proud of you for doing this" Chrissy cried as she hugged her best friend.

She was finally on the right track. And she was doing it for him.

Y/N didn't want to face Eddie until she was clean, sober, and strong. She didn't want him to see her while she detoxed and went through withdrawals. She hasn't seen him in weeks, not even sure if he knew she was serious about getting sober or not.

Chrissy did the honors herself, Y/N didn't know though. She was proud of her and she secretly knew her best friend was hoping Eddie would be too.

Chrissy walked over to his table during lunch, Y/N was at home as one of her withdrawals was worse than normal. But she trusted Y/N to be alone. That's how much improvement her best friend made.

"Eddie Munson? Can I talk to you?" She asked quietly. She has never once spoken to his boy before. Just knew her best friend talked about him all day long. To be honest, he intimated her. Even worse so when he stood up and looked down at her

"uh sure" he said confused. He followed her into the hallway. Ignoring the looks of everyone staring.

"don't tell me queen B wants pot?" He smirked down at her. Teasing glint in his eyes.

"no, I actually wanted to talk about Y/N" Eddie's smirk fell and his eyes switched over into a more serious look

A nervous laugh leaving his lips, "Y/N? Why? Her and I don't talk. Why would we talk about her?" He rambled

"Eddie. I'm her best friend, I'm not stupid, she tells me everything" She said, giving Eddie a look

Eddie nodded, "I should have figured" he sighed. "what's up then?" He added

"I know that she confessed to you and that you turned her down because of her addictions."

"I'm sorry but she is an addi-"

"Eddie I'm not mad. You were right. I've been trying to get her to stop for years. But you got to her. You got her to change her mind." Chrissy confessed, looking at Eddie softly

"why did she listen to me?" He asked

"she already told you Eddie. She wasn't lying when she said she was in love with you. And she's getting sober for you. She doesn't want to talk to you until she's fully clean. I just needed to thank you and make sure you knew how hard she's trying."

"Thank you for telling me. Let her know I am very happy for her and proud of her. I can't wait to see her soon" he smiled, hugging Chrissy and heading back into lunch.

And he was truly happy and proud of her. He still doesn't quite believe she's in love with him. Maybe just really liked him because they have real conversations about real shit. People don't fall in love with Eddie Munson.

Chrissy delivered the news right after school. Watching her best friend smile and for once it was real.

Another month passed, she has been clean for two full months. It was a small victory but she was proud of herself. And she felt ready to face Eddie again.

She knocked on his door once again. Praying it would go better for her this time. She stood up straight, shoulders back and head held high.

She made sure to put extra attention into her appearance, hair and make up done causal but still put together.

"there she is" Eddie smiled, at the gorgeous girl at his doorstep.

She smiled even bigger, he didn't seem displeased to see her like last time.

"Hi Eddie, I was hoping we could talk" she said softly. Holding herself tightly.

"absolutely" stepping aside to let her in the trailer.

She sighed in relief. A sense of comfort washed over her once she was in the trailer. She smelled the air and for once it didn't smell of weed.

"I've been waiting for you to come by. I made sure to clean the place up. No weed anywhere, I didn't want to upset you. And for the beer, it's Wayne's so I couldn't get rid of that. " He smiled, hands in his pockets

"you didn't have to do that" she appreciated he went through the trouble for her but felt guilty he had to change in his house because she was so bad

"no I did. You got sober for me, just like you said. This is me showing my support for you. I'm proud of you" he admitted

She felt the tears in her eyes as she nodded. Sniffling, "thank you Eddie. Really it means a lot"

He had to admit, she looked so much better than when he last saw her. He could truly tell she was clean and for that he smiled bigger

"come here you" he opened his arms

She ran into his arms instantly. Sobbing into his chest as she inhaled his scent. Still no lingers of weed anywhere.

"shh it's okay" he comforted, rubbing her back.

After a few minutes, her crying was stopping silently. Pulling away slightly, still wanting to be in his arms

"sorry" she laughed. Wiping away her tears with one hand. The other still on his back.

"Ready to talk?" He asked. She nodded. He led her to his bed sitting down next to her softly.

She took a deep breath, sitting as close to him as she could.

"I want to start with thank you. I really needed that wake up call. I've had feelings for you for years. I'm embarrassed that I even was that way around you. But I wanted to be a girl you wanted to be with. And I'm really hoping that this new me is someone you would want to be with."

She stared into his eyes. Anxiety in her veins but she had some hope. He let her in his house and bedroom. That's a good start.

"I can see myself with you this way. You look healthy and so happy. I have feelings for you too. And I would love to give this a shot at something real. More than just the sex. Real dates, deep conversations and being together."

She smiled and nodded fast

"yes I want that too"

He smiled and leaned in. Finally kissing her sober. The kiss was even better with their heads in the real world.

Five beautiful months flew by in a blink of an eye. The couple was happy and both sober. He didn't want her to do it alone. She already knew she was in love with him and their relationship reflected that. She adored him. She bought him endless records and helped buy his first guitar. Went to every gig, proud that she never went to the bar and he watched her to make sure. They'd leave the second he finished. Making out in his van before going for ice cream. She knew Eddie didn't believe she loved him in the beginning so she made sure she said it daily and made him feel it every minute.

And he adored her. He fell in love just as fast. Proud of his girlfriend for all the work she puts into staying sober. She quit the parties, staying home every weekend to be in her boyfriend's trailer. He wasn't a dealer anymore, wanting to spend his free moments with her. She met Wayne, who threw out all the beer the second she opened up. Wayne loved her and could see the love she held for Eddie in her eyes. The way her eyes followed his every movement. Wayne could be telling her a story with Eddie feet away, doing anything else. She would be listening for sure, but her eyes watched him until he was back next to her.

This was a couple that was going to last.

That didn't mean boys around the school gave up on her. Following her into bathrooms begging for a quickie. She always refused, she had a boyfriend now and she wasn't going to fuck that up. Reminding them every single time Eddie Munson was it for her and she was never going back to that life again. No more quick meaningless fucks. She enjoyed the sweet and slow sex with Eddie. It was real and passionate.

Too bad Eddie didn't have the same mindset. He couldn't turn his ears off hearing as all the boys bragged about their past experiences with his girlfriend. He knew he was the only one she was with right now but the jealousy was fresh. The insecurities of hearing all the crazy shit she's done, but never has done with him.

"yeah once we had a threesome. It was so fucking hot. " That one stuck with Eddie.

He loved their sex life, but why wasn't she wild with him? She never brought up threesomes, bdsm, or public sex. But she did everything with all the other guys. She always wanted it slow, personal and long. She never did quickies or car sex. Always wanting to lay down together in their beds.

Was Eddie the problem? Now insecure and filled with doubt that maybe she didn't desire him as much as she did the others.

"fuck Eddie that's so good." She moaned. Laying underneath her boyfriend, his hand up her skirt and fingering her.

His wet mouth on her neck. Adding to the pleasure.

"yeah? Want to know what else would be so good and hot?" He whispered into her neck. This was a chance to see if she'd ever go further. If she'd ever do the reckless shit she used to do, but this time for him.

"what's that baby?" She whined

"we bring in someone else to join us."

Her blood ran cold. Uncomfortable shivers filled her body

"wait what?" She asked, did she hear that right?

His fingers no longer were pleasing her. She stopped his hand and yanked it out of her, sitting up and fixing her skirt

"what?" He gasped out. Confused as to why she pulled him away.

"I'm sorry you want to bring someone else into our relationship?"

"no. Not the actual relationship. That's for us baby. Just you and me. But for just sex, I thought it would be fun"

"as in a girl or a guy?" She asked, moving a tad bit further from him. She hated this conversation.

"well a girl" he admitted

"so you think it would be fun for me to watch my boyfriend fuck another girl?" She snapped. Standing up, this was ridiculous.

"it's not like that. You'd be doing it with me" he argued. Standing up as well.

She scoffed and shook her head. Glaring at him deadly. The displeasure is clear on her face.

"oh come on don't look at me like that. It's not like you haven't done it before." He snapped back. The insecurities from earlier clouding in his mind

"oh fuck you! Don't throw that in my face"

"why not? It's the truth. It's all Jason fucking talks about, along with the locker room. All he does is brag about how you've had countless threesomes with him. Fuck even some guys talk about foursomes. You did all this shit with them but not me. "

"so wait you are jealous that I did some shit with them and not you? Are you fucking serious? for someone who hates Jason, you sure are acting like him, by the way. I was doing drugs and drinking every weekend. I barely remember half the shit I did with those guys. I thought you didn't want that girl! I changed for you and now you don't like her? She's too fucking boring for you?"

"don't put words in my mouth. I didn't say that"

"but that's what you are inferring Eddie. Just too much of a pussy to say it to my face."

"I just don't understand why it's different! Why you did all this reckless shit with them and you never even tried to do it with me! I feel like I'm too boring for you"

"BECAUSE I WASN'T IN LOVE WITH THEM, YOU PRICK!" she screamed.

"in love, right" he scoffed. Shaking his head as he rubbed his face. People did not fall in love with Eddie Munson and he was sick of her trying to make herself believe that she was.

"oh my god. You still don't believe me, do you? You still don't believe me when I say I'm in love with you. Sober or not, you don't believe me!"

All the work she put into this relationship, all the stuff she changed for him. And she still wasn't enough. She did everything for this man across from her and she was still disappointing him.

"you know what Eddie? Go sleep with another girl. Fuck as many girls at once as you want, but I'm not sitting here and watching it. Fucking asshole" she slammed his bedroom door, walking right out the front door and hopping in her car. Now she allowed herself to cry. Smashing her fists against her wheel

"NEVER FUCKING ENOUGH" she sobbed into the car. Pealing away fast.

"JESUS FUCK" Eddie screamed as he yanked his hair. Sitting on his bed, shoving his face in his palms. Taking deep breaths to calm down

"sure just make your poor girlfriend who already struggles with self esteem issues and make it worse. Fucking dick"he muttered to himself.

Eddie has been disappointed in himself for many things but this takes the top. He let his insecurities and jealousy take the wheel and watched them crash. He had no right to take it out on her. She did nothing wrong. He was the problem here. He was jealous of men that got one fucking night, while he gets her everyday. Jealous over men that wanted to be in his spot. It's also his own fault for thinking that no one truly loves him. He'd watch her do countless gestures and tell him daily, and he still couldn't believe it.

He lost track of how long he sat staring into the wall. The argument went over and over in his head. Every word he said made it worse and worse. He wished he could blame her for some of it, but he knew he couldn't. He was in the wrong the whole fucking time.

He groaned as the phone rang, letting it die out. But every time it stopped, it would ring again.

Finally after the fifth call he got up

"Munson's" he answered

"Eddie? It's Chrissy."

Oh great, the best friend.

"look I know I was a dick and in the wrong I don't need to he-"

"Eddie, she relapsed" she cut him off in a hurry

His blood ran cold

"fuck, with what?" He sighed. Head slamming into the door. His fault, it was his fucking fault

"both. She's mixing countless shit. I'm so sorry. I didn't even know she came here. She told me she was spending the night with you." He could hear the party in the back. A party Chrissy threw, no intention of her best friend needing her.

"okay. I'm on my way. Just get her in the yard"

He easily broke every traffic law on the way to Chrissy's. Barely stopping his van as he ran out.

Chrissy stood waiting for him as Y/N sat on the curb.

He quickly ran up to them and Chrissy met him halfway in a whisper

"I found her too late. I was in the kitchen and I heard everyone cheering so I went to the living room she was already a couple drinks in. The team kept giving her shots and offering drugs. I don't know what she took but I've never seen her this bad " Chrissy practically cried out.

She watched her best friend go right back into the spiral, somehow even worse

"I'm so sorry Eddie" she sobbed

"hey stop. It's my fault. I said some really dumb shit. This isn't your fault, you didn't know she was coming. We didn't know she would do this again. Okay?"

Chrissy nodded the best she could. Walking back to Y/N and kissed her head

"I love you so much my pretty girl. I'm so sorry I wasn't there to help you." Chrissy cried into her hair

Y/N was too faded to know what was truly going on. Just hugging the girl back with nothing alive in her eyes

Eddie tried to keep his tears back. Watching as his girlfriend fell back into the dark side. All her hard work was ruined in one night, all because of him.

Chrissy ran back to the house.

Eddie took a deep breath and sat next to her. Watching as her bloodshot eyes looked at him. She was so gone she didn't even know who she was sitting next to.

"I'm so sorry" he cried, tears falling down his cheeks. He went to touch her but she slid away

"look I don't know what you know about me but I have a boyfriend" she slurred. Arms wrapping around herself

Eddie nodded. Fuck even drunk and on drugs she still was loyal to him and all he did was doubt her

"Eddie Munson right?" He asked

Her head snapped to him quickly, "you know him?' she asked

"yeah. I'm a very close friend of his" he said, trying his best to give a small smile

"oh that's nice. He's my boyfriend...well I think he is." She sighed

"you think?" He spoke softly. Still trying to stop his silent tears. It hurt hearing her slur every word.

"yeah. We got in a huge fight. I tried to be the best version of myself for him and apparently it wasn't enough. He's probably at home thinking of all the other beautiful girls that would be better than me." A tear running down her cheek but she wiped it away fast

"no he's not" he said instantly, "don't think that. He's nuts about you. He's just stupid. He's really upset. He misses you and he wants to say he's sorry"

"you talked to him?" She asked

Eddie nodded, biting his cheek to keep the sobs in his throat

"does he love me?" She asked, staring at him

"of course he does. You are all he talks about"

"then why am I not enough for him?"

His heart kept shattering with every word. He hated himself for doing this to her. Just because he wanted to be better than the assholes in the locker room

"you are honey. You are way too good for him in my opinion. And he's a fucking idiot for making you feel less than that. He has some issues that he never took the time to work on and it all came out on you. You are perfect in every way possible. He's the one that's not enough for you."

"don't talk about him like that. He is enough for me. He's all I ever wanted since my sophomore year. I didn't even do drugs when I met him, I lied just to have him in private." She scoffed to herself

Eddie never knew that

"you bought drugs from him even though you didn't smoke?"

"yeah. I just wanted an excuse to see him all the time. I'd buy it and give it out at parties. I never even did pot until he asked to split a joint. I didn't want him to find out I've been lying so I did it. And it made my hell of a life easier to handle. It worked better than the alcohol and sex so I began to do it more. But I just couldn't stop the other two, so I mixed all three. And he didn't like me that way. He didn't trust me and that's fair. I was sleeping with him but still waking up to other guys. I wasn't fair to him. "

Eddie nodded, still crying his heart out as he choked back his sobs. At the end of the day it was his fault she became an addict. He got her high and he kept getting her high. He didn't question her when she bought bags of weed every single week. Looking more and more drained. And asking if he had stuff that was stronger.

"so I stopped everything. I wanted him more than I wanted to forget. I worked very hard to get sober. I waited until I was strong enough to see him again. And when I did, we kissed. But it was a real kiss. Not a kiss that led to a quick fuck. It was slow and meant something. I thought I proved I loved him but he reminded me tonight that he never believed me. Turns out he doesn't love the sober version of me either. He wanted to add a girl to our sex life, maybe I should have shut up and said yes because now I'm not even sure I'm what he wants anymore. I once again disappointed him because I liked to make love with him instead of meaningless sex and now he's fucking bored." She laughed, and it was heartbreaking to hear.

He hated how much she believed her own words. How much she truly thought he didn't love her. He should have been doing the same. He should have made sure she felt loved.

"he does love you. He loves you so fucking much. He's just insecure and it made him say some really stupid shit. And the stupid thing about the other girl was his own issues. It had nothing to do with you. He thought maybe you didn't desire him as badly as the other guys so he got insecure. He should feel honored you want to make love and have the sex in your relationship mean something. You did nothing wrong, ever, in that relationship. It's all his fault okay? "

"I just don't understand why he thinks that! I have worshipped the ground he walks on. Why would he ever feel insecure? Especially compared to the guys that are on the bottom of my shoe?"

"I think you should ask him Why don't I bring you to him? Let you sober up and he can apologize yeah?" He asked standing up.

She quickly grabbed his hand, sobbing as she cried out, "no you can't! He can't see me like this. He's going to be so disappointed and pissed at me. Please take me home. He can't see me. He can't please. He'll break up with me. I can't lose him please. "

She was begging at his feet and he wished he could beat the shit out of himself.

He quickly squatted in front of her, grabbing her hands

"shh it's okay. Let's go in my car and relax. It's okay. He asked me to pick you up. He really wants to see you. He's worried about you and he is not disappointed or pissed at you. He wants you to come home and be safe. He isn't going to break up with you, I promise" he said softly. Rubbing his thumb over her skin

"did he tell you that?" She hiccuped out

"yes he did"

"okay" she smiled softly. Standing up the best she could. Eddie held on to her tightly, walking her to his van.

She stumbled and he tried to ignore it. God he fucked up so bad and he had no idea how to fix it.

"wait here. I'm going to tell Chrissy okay?" He said as he buckled her. Turning on his radio and playing her favorite cd. She nodded and closed her eyes.

He made his way to the front door, walking in and looking for Chrissy

"I'm bringing her back to my house" he shouted over the music

She nodded, still trying to get everyone out of her house

Eddie began to walk back to his van when he heard Jason's voice in the yard

"alright boys, Y/N is back on her shit so I'll take her home tonight and one of you guys can get her tomorrow."

Eddie felt his blood boiling. Talking about her like she was a fucking object to pass around. He was jealous of this asshole?

Eddie marched up to him and tapped him on the shoulder, the second he turned around Eddie punched him in the face

"KEEP MY GIRLFRIENDS NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!" he screamed. Clutching his fist as Jason fell to the ground. He wanted to do more damage but for once in his life he needed to be there for his girlfriend.

He went back to his van to see Y/N sleeping against the window. He softly touched her knee and drove back to his trailer. His hand burned but nothing hurt worse than everything he heard tonight.

Eddie Munson had quite the mess to clean up.

Once he got back to the trailer, he carried her sleeping body into the house. Kicking the door with his foot, praying it would wake Wayne up.

Wayne opened the door, eyes half open but woke up fast seeing Eddie carrying a passed out Y/N in his arms.

"Wayne I fucked up. You need to help me" Eddie sobbed as he walked through the door. Wayne acted fast, taking Y/N out of his arms carrying her into Eddie's bedroom. Eddie sobbing behind him, hand covering his mouth even though it did nothing to silence his cries.

"Eddie what happened? " Wayne panicked. Putting his ear to her chest, breathing a sigh of relief that she was breathing

"she's passed out. But I..we got in this fight and she got mad and left. I shouldn't have let her leave....I shouldn't" he sobbed, dropping on his knees, giving up on all strength. Wayne quickly dropped in front of him, hugging the boy tightly.

"shhh take some breaths and talk to me. Tell me what happened"

"she went to Chrissy's, and she was having a party. I made her upset and she relapsed. It's all my fault Wayne. I motivated her to get sober and I'm the same person who sent her over the edge" Wayne nodded. His own heart cracking. She was too young to be going through all of this.

"we'll help her, just like we've been doing"

Eddie nodded at his words. Wiping his face as he looked at her sleeping body.

"I'm going to get her changed, can you grab water?"

Wayne nodded and left the room, closing the door behind.

"I'm sorry gorgeous." He felt like that was all he could say.

He removed her shirt, unclipping her bra. He kissed her skin softly. Taking off his shirt and covering her body with it.

He slipped off her shorts and shoes. Covering her body with a blanket. He kissed her forehead and went out to the kitchen. Grabbing the water from Wayne

"what if she never forgives me for this?"

"don't think like that Eddie" Wayne comforted

"no I need to. I easily ruined everything we had, everything we worked together on. What if she's finally had enough of me?" Eddie was scared and he was ready to admit her love scared him.

"Eddie, she loves you and that means she'll love you even when you make mistakes. Yes you did fuck up. You absolutely hurt her there's no doubt about it there. But I don't think I can see her giving up on you. And you better not ever give up on her. You talk this out and figure out what is best for the both of you. Whatever she decides, you make it work."

Eddie laid next to her, wide awake the whole night. The sound of her slight snores and hums reminded him she was still alive and she was still here. He couldn't sleep, he needed to make sure she was okay every single hour that passed. The glass of water, no longer cold. Condensation dipping down onto his nightstand. He felt her body moving closer, an arm reaching towards him, moving to feel him. He moved his body over to where she could reach. A slight sigh of approval left her lips as she cuddled into his shoulder. Eddie doesn't know how he even has tears left. Silently streaming down into her hair. He kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms fully around her. If it's the last night he'll ever get to hold her like this, then he's going to do it tight.

Eddie watched as she groaned, slowly waking up. No doubt a pounding headache and dry mouth. He sat up, preparing to help her up when she sprinted right out of his bed. Running fast to the bathroom. Eddie quickly followed, holding her hair back as she puked.

"shh it's okay. Let it out" he hummed. Rubbing her back with his free hand

He could hear her crying into the toilet, puking everything in her body out. He knew she's done this before and he hates that she probably did it alone.

"I'm so sorry" she sobbed, head leaning on her arm.

Eddie shushed her and grabbed a wet towel, placing it on her hot skin. Using another towel to wipe off her mother, flushing the toilet and closing the lid.

She fell back against the bathtub. Sobbing into her arms

"you don't have to be sorry. It's all my fault baby. Okay? Don't blame yourself"

He felt like he kept saying the same words over and over. And yet he can't find anything in his brain to actually make this better.

"no it's my fault. I knew what would happen if I went to that fucking party and I did it anyway" she kept her head down. She couldn't live with seeing the disappointment in her boyfriend's eyes. She was fine disappointing anyone, just not him.

"no okay? I shouldn't have just let you leave like that. I should have made you stay and work things out" he kissed her head. He wanted to see her face but didn't want to force her to move too fast. He'd sit next to this bathtub all day with her.

"I wasn't talking to a friend of yours last night, was I?" She mumbled into the skin on her arm

"um no. You talked to your asshole boyfriend" he wanted to joke, even fake a smile. But he didn't even have the energy to do anything. He felt like his body was drained of every single ounce of water in him, he feels like he cried everything out.

"fuck. I said a lot of shit I never wanted you to know" she admitted

"I'm glad you did. I think a lot of it I needed to know. And trust me, I feel even more fucking shitty now. I was terrified when Chrissy called me. The guilt ate me alive all night, and it still is. But this isn't about me. I hurt you. I made you crave the alcohol and the drugs because I was talking out of my ass. I hate that I did that to you. I'm so sorry baby. I wish I could say more to really tell you how fucking sorry I am" he sniffled. His hand reaching to hold her knee

She lifted her head, and he could see the bags under her eyes again. The same drained look she had when she showed up at his door when she first confessed she was in love with him, sober.

"Eddie, I'm my own person. You didn't shove it down my throat. I knew what I was doing and that's on me. I just don't understand what it is about me that is never good enough. Why is it just sex that people want me for?"

"stop that. You are way too good for every single person you've ever been with, and that includes me. You have so much more to offer than sex. And I'm the asshole who ignored all of that. I'm insecure and don't believe anyone could fall in love with me. So I didn't believe you. I convinced myself that you were just trying to make yourself believe you loved me. But you do really love me, and I don't deserve it. I let Jason get in my head which was so stupid. I have the girl that every boy in the locker room wants. I have a girl that wants to have sex that means something and I blamed her for it. I shouldn't have ever done that to you. I love making love with you. I wish I never said anything about meaningless fucks and a threesome. That was so fucking stupid and I didn't even mean it. I felt like I was boring and that's why you never wanted to take the reckless route with me. I should have known it was because you care more about me than them. And I should have treated you the same way. I should have cared more about what you had to say than them. And now I'm really fucking scared I ruined this. I'm really scared you are going to walk away and not come back because that's what I deserve. I'm so fucking scared baby. " He confessed everything. His heart couldn't handle holding anything back. She was always honest with him and he needed to do the same. He needed to lay it all on his bathroom floor. Somehow more tears fell and he sniffled them back.

Her hand reached out to touch his, taking it off of her knee and holding it tight.

"I'm scared too" she whispered, "I feel like I should leave, that you deserve to live a world without me and it should hurt like hell. I feel like I should move on, the same way I did with everyone else. But I'm too scared to be without you" she cried. Looking into his own tear filled eyes. Every time she looked at him she saw the future she wanted. The house with the picket fence, the kids running in the yard, and she was too scared to give that up.

Eddie spent every day thanking her for giving him the second chance he never deserved. This was the girl he was going to end up with and he knew it. He vowed to spend every day making her feel loved and making sure she knew she was the only one for him.

Bonus fluff :)

Within the next five years, the couple found themselves in a chapel. Him in one room with Wayne, fixing his tie as Dustin ranted about how nervous he was for his best man speech.

She, in the other room, cried with her mom as she put on her veil. Screaming about ruining her make up before she even went down the aisle. Chrissy, her maid of honor, tried to keep her own tears back as she watched her best friend wearing white.

"Um Y/N do not panic, but we can't find the flower girl" Steve rushed into the room. His own tux fitted on his body

"DON'T PANIC? WHERE IS SHE?" Y/N screamed. Turning around to face him

"she was in my room, eating a sucker and I turned around and she was gone!" Steve panicked. This bride was going to murder him

"don't worry. We will find her" Chrissy smiled, running out the door, pinching Steve under his arm

Y/N sighed. She had a feeling where the girl would be

She walked over to the room across from her door. Knocking on the wood.

Dustin opened the door, and tears filled his eyes just seeing her

"you look gor-"

"not now Dustin. Is Eddie in there?" She asked

Her fiance's head peaked over Dustin's shoulder

"baby what's up? I'm not supposed to see you yet!"

"I know! But Steve lost our flower girl, is she here?" She sighed out

"definitely not" he smirked, moving his body to the left

"are you hiding her Munson?" She glared

"definitely not" he smirked again. A small giggle coming from behind his knees

"baby girl is that you?" She asked, smiling as little feet came running towards her

"MOMMA!" she squealed. Jumping on her mom's legs

"dadda said to hide" she added as Y/N picked her up

"yeah well dadda is getting himself in big trouble" Y/N glared over to her future husband

"oh come on. I need an excuse for you to come see me. Chrissy wouldn't let me in the doorway. So I paid Steve $20 to tell Chrissy she's missing" he complained, walking over to his two girls

"that is true. She kept me on lockdown too" Y/N laughed

"now that you are here, might as well give me a kiss?" He smirked

"the plan all along" Dustin gagged from behind

Y/N laughed as she kissed Eddie quick on the lips. The little girl between them clapping

"time for me to go marry your momma!"

There it is!

I really hope you guys liked it and it was worth the wait 🥹

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @slightlyvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @simping-over-boys-with-trauma @capricornrisingsstuff

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